#I have both a college era and present era in mind

[estrellium]

Modern au shenanigans: college edition 🔥

You guys cannot tell me Eiden wouldn't be a wingman for his friends. He thinks of dumb shit like this and it Works. (After this, Edmond and Yakumo rack up the courage to sneak out of their dorms to have nightly dates) (Eiden is really fucking happy when he finds out)

[twst-drabbles]

Mozus 1

Summary: Being in Noble Bell College brings out the nostalgia in Mozus. You want him to continue. You like hearing him talk about his wife.

(I was going to write about Rollo since it seemed appropriate, but Mozus took place in my brain instead.)

“And while she never witnessed the bell, she was always enchanted by its sound,” Mozus’s voice was soft in the way one cups a flower blooming in the soft frost of winter: delicately, yet still filled with the strength of love.

“Oh? Tell me more,” you couldn’t help but lean into his view with an exaggerated stretch of your spine, arms gripped behind your back. “Remember, you promised me more stories about her, Mozus.”

Mozus didn’t twitch nor lose any gram of composure. His back was still straight, but it seemed as though gravity added weight to his shoulders. “I remember well. Though I must ask, why are you so interested about such a subject?”

“Because you practically grow twenty years younger whenever you talk about your wife,” it wasn’t a radiant glow so much as it was a gentle light that bloomed from within Mozus’s heart, blanketing his shoulders in a shroud of dancing spring air, “it’s very sweet, seeing how much you love her so. Of course I want to hear you talk about your fond memories all day.”

It was a rare thing to witness from Mozus, so of course you want him to continue speaking of those years, so as long as it doesn’t hurt him. He may be an older gentlemen, and while you don’t have a clue as to what age he became a widower, to lose his wife before the age of sixty seemed far too young to lose a loved one. When you hear of stories of old couples dying, you imagine their backs curved, hands knobby and skin slack with laugh lines so deep in their faces their eyes practically vanish, and yet the twinkle in them is still there.

You don’t know the amount of years that have past after Mozus’s wife’s death, but it seems to have been enough for him to have come to terms with his grief, to speak of her memory, both good and bad.

Perhaps it was too casual an action, lightly tapping your elbow on his arm to goad him into talking more stories, but there’s something about Mozus that you just can’t help but want to be a bother him a bit. And you’re happy when you heard that tired gruff of a sigh come out of him, like you’re an insistent kid from the playground that wanted to listen to stories instead of being on the monkey bars.

“Be patient,” Mozus shook his head but it wasn’t a verbal ‘no,’ “I’ll make do on my promise, but right now we’re on Noble Bell College’s campus, and we’d do well to listen to the years of history embedded within the walls and minds of the students here.”

“Gotcha gotcha,” you straightened yourself out, disappointed but not surprised, “I’ll be sure to remind you if you do forget. You lost that game of cards after all.”

He won’t, you’re sure of it, but you may as well give him a warning in advance that you’re going to be a bother until you get those stories.

Perhaps it was dirty of you to do that, coaxing Mozus into an old card game that just so happened to be relevant to the era he was teaching to Ace, Deuce and Grim, but you had gotten the cards as a gift from one of your faerie buddies and you couldn't pass up the opportunity that was presented to you.

Oh well, what can Mozus do besides complete his promise? Besides, he didn't say no to your request. You bet he does want to talk about her as much as you want to hear about it. Otherwise, why would he indulge you?

See, this is why Mozus is probably your favorite out of all your co-workers, barring his strict conduct.

[ateezscupid]

If u cam do issa Weired request ... blurb

Hongjoong leaving his gf, yet haven't moved on.

Now he is a successful producer whilst he found out that ex is now struggling with depression!!

﹟𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗬𝗢𝗨 ⋆ 𝗄.𝗁𝗃 𝗑 𝖿!𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗭 𝗠𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧 / 𝗥𝗘𝗤𝗨𝗘𝗦𝗧

plot - you and hongjoong brokeup a while back so he could focus on his career. the both of you didn’t know how badly that breakup would affect you.

warn - slight angst and some fluff, idol!au, mentions of depression, mention of s/h and s/i (more like implications), happy ending, kind of based in present time (guerrilla era)

w/c - n/a

𝗧𝗔𝗚S - @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @starillusion13 @mingitheskzstan

“who’s that girl?” you mumble to yourself as you stare at the picture hongjoong posted recently. it was a picture of him and another girl holding hands and looking in love. you narrowed your eyes and threw your phone across the room, falling back onto your bed and sighing.

it’s been years since you and hongjoong broke up. you two were young, and had your whole lives ahead of you! of course, that meant you two had to part ways. it was impossible to do a long distance relationship if you planned on going all the way across the globe for college. hongjoong wanted to stay in his home town to work on his music and focus on his group, ateez.

when you heard the words “we need to take a break,” leave his lips, the only thing you could think of were the things you did for him. you were always there for fan signing events, concerts, promotion events, etc etc. you were their biggest supporter and ateez thank you for it. you were there even before they debuted.

it was after ‘say my name’ was released, he decided to end things. it took everything in you not to cry, but you couldn’t help the torrent of tears flooding down your cheeks like niagara falls.

you were able to handle the breakup for the next few days until you saw that one interview. you could’ve sworn hongjoong felt your eyes burning holes into his head. the interviewer asked ateez what their ideal type was, and if they were looking for relationships. you cringed on the inside from the question, but listened intensely when hongjoong was asked.

“i don’t mind what my future girlfriend looks like, it doesn’t matter to me. but, as of now, i’m still looking for my perfect lady.”

he was still looking. those words were now engraved in your memory. that wasn’t like hongjoong. he wouldn’t just ignore everything you two had because ateez was gaining popularity, but judging from his expression, he was dead serious.

you clawed are your chest. if it were even possible, you felt your heart drop inside of you. the tears that fell from the day he brokeup with you started up again. nothing could’ve prepared you for what he said. nothing. you thought you two had something but clearly you were wrong. were you not perfect to him? did he not find you pretty? did you mess up? did he lie about his reason of breaking up? everything ran through your mind all at once.

his one answer sent you into a spiral. you spent hours everyday checking to see if hongjoong’s ideal type changed so you could make yourself look like the person he described, but you got nothing. you spent hours looking at tips tom how to become prettier, how to keep a long relationship.

all of the internet you consumed in those days sent you into a deep depression, one you thought you couldn’t get out of. you kept in contact with the ateez members, but hongjoong was the only one who didn’t talk to you. mingi said he was busy in the studio whenever you asked to speak to him, and you couldn’t help but breakdown when you heard those words. excuse after excuse. he really got over you that quick..?

everything hit you like a truck so fast. hongjoong broke up with you and refused to speak to you, and the friendship you thought you had with ateez disappeared when their schedules became booked and they didn’t have the time to talk to you. they used to respond to your messages hours later, then it turned into no responses at all. you weren’t close with anybody else as much as you were with ateez, you felt alone. nobody was there to talk to, and you definitely didn’t want to tell your parents. chances are they’d say you were overreacting.

your depression worsened when you saw hongjoong having fun with other idols who were girls. he seemed so comfortable around them, as for you, he’d refuse to talk to you. you felt like a burden. you weren’t important. you were useless.

harming yourself felt like your last option since the job you were working at didn’t help you afford getting actual help, so you felt it was your best bet. though it wasn’t. your job, being ignorant, said you needed to “take a break” since your scars were scaring customers. you didn’t bother arguing back and just took the punishment.

and here you were now, scrolling through his personal instagram account and seeing him post about this one girl frequently. he had found someone new. he forgot about you. you weren’t important to him. in fact, tou weren’t important to anybody. there were a few times where you’ve thought of leaving the face of the earth and never coming back, but what about your family? they were still assholes but they cared about you? how would it affect ateez’s mental health? you didn’t want to make them feel what you felt.

not paying attention to what you were doing, you liked one of his posts. it wouldn’t have been a problem if you were on your secret account, but it was your main. it was the entire reason you threw your phone, and you were so scared to pick it up thinking he’d see it. but the post had 100k likes? how would he see yours?-

ding!

well, you were proven wrong. carefully you crawl off your bed and snatch your phone up, staring at your screen blankly when you saw a message from him. his account. the account that was verified. it couldn’t have been true, you had to have been dreaming.

hj: is this who i think it is?

yn: yes?

hj: oh, hey y/n :) how’ve you been?

yn: i’ve been okay.

hj: that’s good

hj: soo what have you been doing since the last time we spoke to each other?

yn: nothing

hj: really? nothing? i thought you wanted to focus on dancing or something like that.

yn: i didn’t get into the college i applied for

hj: oh i’m sorry to hear that. have you been doing anything else?

yn: no

hj: oh ok

hj: is it awkward speaking to me again? i’m sorry if i made things weird or i made it seem like i forgot about you. i haven’t forgotten about you.

yn: its not awkward, i’m just embarrassed

hj: embarrassed?

yn: people knew we were dating before and after your group debuted, but you went on national television and told everybody that you were still looking for your soulmate or whatever? that was embarrassing.

hj: we talked about the questions they’d ask us if we were on the show? i thought you knew i wasn’t being serious?

yn: i would’ve thought that, but i didn’t. even after that you refused to talk to me, no matter how many times i tried talking to you. mingi told me you were always busy. i thought you had forgotten about me.

hj: i didn’t forget about you? but i’m sorry if i made it seem that way… i was always busy though?

yn: you could’ve told me that yourself, hongjoong.

hj: i realize that now

yn: i know you don’t know how much you hurt me, but it hurt me a lot. not only you, but everyone else. i hate being alone. i didn’t have anyone to talk to.

hj: i’m sorry. are you still in the states? we’re here to promote some music but i have a bit of time, i can visit you? what’s your address

yn: [___] my roommates aren’t home, so we can talk alone

hj: cool. be there in thirty.

and he kept his word. he arrived at your apartment in 30 minutes, maybe even under thirty. you thought he’d come empty handed since the plan was to talk about your feelings and settle the rocky relationship, but he came with flowers and chocolate. it was pretty cliché but you didn’t care. at least he cared about you enough to get you something.

"hey," the smile on his face let you know he was happy to see you for the first time in what felt like forever. he's been missing you like crazy since the breakup but didn't have the guts to reach out to you.

"hi." on the other hand, you were still mad at him and didn't want to make it seem like you've been stalking him since you two parted ways, which you have.

"can i come in?" his eyebrow raises and you nod, moving out the way of the doorway and allowing him to walk inside. you handed him a vase to put the flowers in as you walked over to the couch. he closed the door behind him then moved to a nearby counter, taking the flowers out of the plastic and throwing them into the trashcan.

“so… i haven’t kept up with what you guys have been doing.” which was a lie. you always spent your free time going through the official instagram as well as the members to see what they were doing. “what songs did you guys release?”

“we just released guerrilla, that’s why we’re in the states.” when he was done with the base, he walked over to where you were and sat on the couch. he wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with him being close or not so he kept his distance.

“oh, that’s cool.” you nod slowly. “have you been seeing anyone since we… parted ways?—”

“nope.” joong answered quickly. “you may not believe me, but i never got over you. i’ve missed you like hell, it felt like i had a hole in my heart. y’know? everything i did felt weird because you weren’t with me. when i didn’t see you at our concerts and at promotions, it felt wrong.”

“…it did?” you started feeling guilty now. “i didn’t know you felt like that.”

“it’s not your fault! okay? it’s not your fault, it’s mine.” he sighed. “i kept reading over your texts while i was driving and i felt bad. really bad. i feel bad knowing i was the reason you went through all of that. i didn’t want to point it out when i first walked in but i noticed your…”

you furrow your eyebrows and looked down. you hadn’t worn a long sleeved shirt like you planned on, which meant your arms were fully exposed to him. some of your scars were healing pretty good, but there were still many that weren’t healing as fast as the others. they were more visible. you didn’t know what to say to him. hongjoong scoots closer and pulled you into a hug without saying a word. before you knew it, tears were streaming down your cheeks again.

“shh, it’s okay, i’m here.” he held your face against his chest, patting you on the head and holding you tightly. you weren’t aware of how badly you needed a hug until now; the same arms that held you years ago were holding you now and it made you feel so much better.

“j-joong,” you sniffled. “are you mad at me…?”

“what? no, no i could never be mad at you.” he sighed, feeling the urge to cry as well. “im just glad you’re still here. im glad we’re together right now.”

“i… am too,” you smile weakly and wrap your arms around his body. “can you stay the night?”

“sure, i think i can. i think this is the one week where we don’t really have anything to do as a group. i can ask to spend the entire week with you, would you like that?”

“yes please, do that. i wanna spend as much time as i can with you before you go back.”

hongjoong chuckles and pushed your hair behind your ear, staring into the eyes he fell in love with all those years ago. “do you want to try again?”

you were waiting for that question since the moment he walked inside. “i do, joong.”

[puckpocketed]

good morning puckpocketed it is @wehaveagathering from my main blog! I was wondering (and if you have already talked about this link me!) what your feelings are on the sharks upcoming offseason, who you're hoping for them to draft, who you're excited to see play either in their nhl or ahl roster, anything! :]

first of all. hello wehaveagathering dot tumblr my sour gummy candy my bespoke watchface my press-on nails....! thank you so much for dropping by <33 hearing from you is like oughh hello microcelebrity who decided i was cool... !!!! ok. deep inhale. I present to you:

puckpocketeds sharks offseason roundup

I am of two minds with Sharks hockey:

Nothing will ever go as I expect/predict because Mike Grier works in mysterious ways (Hertl trade was a wild day) and given I am following the San Jose Sharks ...we are here for a laff first and foremost. At least until we're competitive again. No point in thinking too hard because it ain't that serious and i have 0 control over what happens <3

On the other hand . kljsdalkjsdkl I am reading Elite Prospects' draft guide like the morning paper and absorbing massive amounts of data about my little guys and listening to podcasts and also following juniors games (you may have seen my very regular and hinged Memorial Cup Posting) and, yes, I even watched college hockey . I am unofficially the prospects slide maker for the Sharks Primer that I haven't opened in a week.

You may have asked the one person on tumblr who can give you an unskippable cutscene i hope ur ready for an unskippable cutscene !

General Off-season stuff/contracts

i am being fed off the scraps of Henry Thrun + Devin Cooley interviews in scf post-game shows and stalking all of our beat reporters. i have all of them with notifications ON and they keep doing really funny stuff like suggesting Draisaitl coming to the sharks. also . wekky and keebs are hanging out with Alex Holtz this summer and it is THEE best thing ever. matching slides for you in these trying times? feeling very deprived of sharks hockey but sustaining myself by having little breakdowns about it with friends :3

Couture is the biggest question of the off-season to me. The plan rn is that he will be ready to play by opening night, if all goes well during his rehab. He's our captain, the team looked visibly improved when he was on the ice for the gorgeous 6 game stretch that he played with us last season (Coochie era you will always be famous), and honestly I think his contribution to morale is more valuable than anything else he brings to the ice. There's no chance he gets moved right now given his contract and health, but there's a chance he never plays another NHL game... his health and readiness to play determines who the Sharks target for acquisitions and what our team looks like down the middle (where our two biggest prospects, who are both centers, will end up). so much hinges on whether or not Cooch is healthy!! but at this point I'm just rooting for his long-term health no matter what happens with the team !!

To preface any contract talk; the vibe about Mike Grier is he’s wary of giving out long term stuff in light of his predecessor leaving behind the husk of Marc-Edouard Vlasic (said with deep affection) and several other nearly immovable contracts. pundits don't really see him giving anyone term unless they’re Confirmed Core Players and i agree! other than that... i don't have serious takes or predictions about term/dollar amounts. HOPES and DREAMS and PSYCHEDELIC VISIONS, on the other hand...

We're gonna lose some of our guys to free agency because they're. um. untradeable and not very good </3 (Hoffman, Labanc, Barabanov <- this one is a special case, Barbie's deal fell through because the Hertl trade happened and we're using our last retention slot on him) and whilst I do love the ongoing Bit of uncle Mike and sweet cousin Kevin, this frees us up to go looking for some guys who can mentor our young core!! (I hope Labanc gets a second chance somewhere and shows everyone that the sharks monumentally fumbled the bag on yet another ex wife !!)

The doors are open for free agency acquisitions... Everyone's throwing around big names but I think they're forgetting the fact that we actually gotta convince them to come to San Jose LMAO. cost of living + basement team unlikely to be serious about a cup run for at least another 4-5 years = not the most appealing place to go. We have seen speculation about FAs ranging from Stamkos to Marner lmaoooooo and i'll be honest I don't want to add to all that. I just hope whatever old man we staple to our youth he's fun and NOT a criminal !

For our other UFAs:

I'd like to see us re-sign Justin Bailey because he worked really hard for us down the stretch. we poached him from the cuda early on because all of our forwards were exploding and never gave him back even when everyone started getting healthy again! Maybe he can go help our cuda not flop <333

Jacob MacDonald holds a very special place in my heart because we like making multi-class jokes (he was forced to play forward for a big chunk of his time w the sharks even though hes a d-man LMAO) . I find his work ethic charming <3 he's done everything they've asked of him, and he's honestly done it Not Terribly. I would LIKE for the sharks to offer him a place here due to sentiment and i sort of think he's a sleeper depth pick…. but it seems less and less likely given that we’re going to market for d-men and we’ll have more forwards healthy next season.

Ryan Carpenter is another cuda acquisition we never gave back and is our beautiful returned shark son <33 he was a steady 4th line center throughout the Horrors. however, we were trying out one of our younger guys in that position (hello jack studnicka!!) towards the end of the season and im really wondering if we'll see him up with the sharks again. He's a great AHL player and I see him helping the cuda become competitive if we bring him back!

Devin Cooley my beloved. our junior shark. our silly rabbit. some context: the sharks org is doing something very strange and deeply funny with their goalie situation. we have like 6 of them and i genuinely have no clue where this is going. Optimistically, Cooley gets a something thrown at him because he's shown the ability to grow under the limited tutelage of our Very Good Goalie Coach Thomas Speer + he's a great feel-good story !! less optimistically... he gets traded on the draft floor because we can't have shit in san jose (KNOCKING ON TEN MILLIOB WOOD)

Our RFA sitch is a mixed bag:

Luke Kunin absolutely comes back. barring offer-we-can't-refuse type deals... they love him here. Is he GOOD? well no <3 analytics-wise, he is our worst performing forward and actively makes his lineys worse. but (and i imagine this is whats going on in sharks front office discussions) must a goonwag do silly things like "play hockey"?? can't he just get all snarly when our guys are pushed around? can't he play leg weight to our beloved prized prospects? teach them how to drive a line despite being hamstrung by the sloppiest turnovers ever? cant he just be sophia's less accomplished trophy husband...........???? also in his defence, he should never have been our 2nd line center. but everyone else exploded so !!! anyway I think he would flourish with fewer minutes and easier match ups on the 3rd/4th line. i want to see him hanging out in a depth position next season and goonwagging it up <3

I watched Thomas Bordeleau really work to solidify his place in the lineup towards the end of the season. I love his absolute determination to finish every game fighting. I am SO proud to call him a shark and he's become one of my favourite little guys <3 I knowww everyone knows him from the Narratives but EYE got to know him through his hockey and I am WRETCHEDLY endeared by it. He will stare down a 0-4 scoreline and keep playing hard no matter what, he has sprinted down the ice with seconds on the clock to make a play and ough ough oughhhhhghgh he is SO special to me okay !!!! okay. And I truly think that gmmg has to see that. They're trying to build culture here... something about being hard to play against, having will and size and skill.... Bordy doesn’t fit the Big Boys vision that Grier is open about chasing, but he does bring the attitude and work ethic… I want him to stay forever <3 next year is his breakout year MARK MY WORDS!!!!!

Henry Thrun was a bit up and down but honestly who on this accursed roster wasn't?? Some nights he was unironically our most effective d-man (as much as one can be on the 23-24 sharks) other nights he was competing in a flop contest with Pickles <3 i would like to see him get more pp minutes next season and work on being consistent, which I absolutely believe he can achieve. our beautiful draft dodger + harvard double major <3

Ty Emberson is a complete mystery to me. I've seen him play like 3 games. he's been very injured this season. I liked what I saw when he was on? Making his slides was SO hard ill be honest, there's so little out there about him. but i have a soft spot a mile wide for reliable stay at home d-men, i hope he gets a fair shot. also hes mackblack's bestie and nobody knows that and i need everybody to know that he has a special bond with his goalie like his defensemen forefathers . thats our defensive defenseman and his goalie okay . okau.

Calen Addison is . listen okay I love our little guy. let him say fuck!!! but he hasn't done well this year and this was sort of supposed to be his fresh start. what I want is that he stays on the sharks and turns things around and goes on to blast all his haters. I'm not very sure any of that will happen.

I can't be objective about Filip Zadina. I will not lie. I want him to succeed very badly but also I love our failwife dearly regardless... high draft pick who was touted as a goal scorer... can't let go of that identity... every coach hes ever had psychoanalyses him and is a leeetle obsessed with nursing him back to health like a sickly baby bird <3. gmmg give him 8x8 ! his place on this roster is very uncertain given that this was his 'prove it' year and it didn't go super well. i dread losing him. every day that ticks by where we don't hear about him re-signing leaves me less and less hope

Jack Studnicka compels me so much. We call him Dave . dont ask. He's in the process of shaking off his previous identity as a playmaking center and his anxieties/insecurities about uhhh having to fill the gaping hole in the Bruins' forward core left behind by a bunch of their veterans leaving. He's learning how to drive a checking/energy line and I feel a tenderness for him I can't describe... he's almost almost made it to the show and he will do whatever it takes to stay.

regarding certain trade rumours

There is once again trade buzz around Mario Ferraro.

...i think the rest of the league is under the impression he’s a top 4 calibre d-man. this is very funny and also i’m terrified that gmmg will trade him because of this. You truly don’t get a feel for how little any given team’s media pays attention to other teams - how little the national media pays attention to the western conference good GOD — until you follow the cali polycule.

if any disappointed Leafs fans are reading this after it was suggested they aren't looking to acquire him anymore . my brother in christ. Mario only eats those minutes because he’s got seniority here by default !!!! we simply do not have anyone else because they’re injured or they suck!!! i would go to war for our youtuber ,hes the greatest gamer and d-man in the entire league in my heart BUT i do have eyes and as the kids would say . he has improper crosshair placement and can't mulligan to play on curve </3

And for nuance…. perhaps there IS something to the fact that Mario was like .the only one who survived the 2019-2023 San Jose Rookie Woodchipper/Meatgrinder/Hydraulic press. idk. i wasn't there. He’s had a career high year this year (not that 21 points is that high asdljkasklj but. again. 23-24 sharks) so maybe he’s just waiting for the right conditions to break out, a team where he isn’t solely responsible for gluing the shambles together, and all the chatter about him being a prime trade target is true and this summer will be when his trade value is at its highest. it still doesn’t change his value to this team as a locker room personality and leader. He’s made zero statements about wanting to leave. the current regime does do Personality Hires and Intangibles (see Luke Kunin and i suppose now the Goodrow acquisition??), we can’t have our upcoming d-core thrown into the deep end without some mentorship and it certainly isn’t gonna come from Pickles — not that he can’t, i just believe in Marc-Edouard Vlasic’s right to be a bitch in peace! no one is untouchable but im 90% sure Ferraro stays.

THE DRAFT AND OUR PROSPECT SITUATION

The Sharks currently hold picks 1, 14, and 33. 1OA is spoken for <3 so 14 and 33 are the ones we care about here. (we have a bunch of later picks to play with as well — 42, 85, 116, 138, 143, and 194 if anyone was curious <3) And okay okay so,, Mike Grier was hired 2 days before the draft in 2022, which means 2023 was his first real draft year and this year will be his second. realistically, we simply do not have a lot of data for his drafting tendencies, nor will we know his 'hit' rate until years from now. our current pool, while thin, is looking... good? tentatively? the class of 2023 did very well. more on them later. so accounting for lack of data... i truly have NO idea whats going on except maybe we're leaning towards deepening our defensive prospect pool + throw in a goalie, and a slight preference for physicality and size but like thats every headass GM on the planet right now??? (as i type this out, ozzy weisblatt has been traded away for a someone over 6ft tall!! the mike grier big boy plan strikes again….)

so. i won't speak to who i think the sharks will draft but you will get to hear a very rough essay fragment i don’t think i’ll ever finish:

something i’ve been thinking about lately between reading all of these prospect draft profiles (and to an extent, making prospect slides for the sharks) is how few guys make it to the big show. these 17-18 year olds have dense paragraphs written about their puck handling and skating and hockey IQ — i enjoy the stylish ones that say stuff like “he’s the most creative forward in this year’s draft, he’ll dangle your best over a cliff” the most — but how many of them will pan out in the end? here, i could pull up the numbers. i don’t need to. we all know there are only so many nhl contracts to hand out, and only so many stalls in a locker room.

i’ve grown attached to a few names though their draft profiles. there are little threads of narrative you can catch from reading their game reports in chronological order. some of them visibly gain confidence month to month as they solidify their identity within the system and team they play on, some of them master board battles, some of them find their scoring touch. i am charmed by the interview fragments i’ve seen, their stupid answers to "what animal would you be?", the silly facts livetweeted by scouts at the combine. many of them come highly touted — the 2nd-12th project as almost certain NHLers. i’ve seen them shine in their juniors and ncaa matches. I feel like they must be destined for greatness.

Yet, i go back into the histories — a year ago, two years ago, five years ago, thirty years and beyond — and the histories tell me that no matter what was being said the day they got drafted, anything could happen. 7th overall buried in the press box. 123rd overall breaks a scoring record in his d+1 year. 29th overall carves out a regular spot on the first line and goes on to score 40 goals. 1st overall never scores more than 62 goals in the NHL. it's probably not smart of me to become invested in so many when, statistically, a whole lot of them will fail to live up to their projections. in the back of my heart, right behind all the inadvisable sentiment, lives a scream of frustration. it isn't fair that for the majority of these kids, the draft is as close to the nhl as they'll ever get. i hate that not everyone will get to reach for the stars. my heart will be broken when one or more of my favourites inevitably burns out of the league. and the real horror is knowing all this hasn't stopped me from becoming endeared.

my current draft favourites, no thoughts head empty if i could have any of these guys on the sharks:

Berkly Catton absolutely will fall to 14th overall in my HEART!!! this stupid league and its stupid preoccupation with tallgirls. doesn't matter that some of the best players hockey has ever seen were under 6ft tall <3 doesn't matter that high impact nhl players RIGHT NOW are hanging out around the 5'10 mark. Berkly Catton is elite stock by so many metrics except for his size (5'11, ~163lbs) and THAT will ensure he falls in the draft. and the dream is if he falls to 14th we snap him up and he comes to hang out in cali <3 i love his fish-eyed blank stare. he said he'd be a dolphin because they're slippery <3 and here's the short version of what I've read per his draft profile: he played on a bad team, with heavy minutes, being targeted by every opposing team as the only threat, and still doubled his output during his draft year. all of this while he worked hard in his own zone, dedicating himself to the more 'boring' aspects of the game. like he will hustle for a backcheck god BLESS. i love when skilled guys are defensively responsible SO MUCH. what little i've seen myself of his raw skill is incredible. magical hands maintained with speed. i also like how much he scans. i love being freaked out about a highlight, wondering how he knew where his teammates were, scrubbing the video back and seeing him scan the ice regularly. its beautiful. just like playing league of legends jungle . ahaha <3

if not Catton, then Andrew Basha at 14th, and if not then 33rd. Despite how high some draft boards have him, the reviews are mixed as hell due to the Spectre of Gavin McKenna and Cayden Lindstrom that hangs over him. It did not stop him from having an incredibly strong season in the WHL. fast, skilled, works hard. puck mover. in learning about hockey, I have come to love transition forwards SO much. Troy Terry was my favourite Duck to watch when he wasn't exploding <3 Controlled zone entries are soooo gifable to me. i got no clue if Basha will be available at 33 - a few are predicting he falls to the second round - or if the sharks would want him even then, but I would love to see him on the Sharks! if his speed and skill on breakouts can translate to the NHL it would be bitchin!!!!!! also, I have this idea in my head that he's already used to playing with elite talent and so wont be swallowed up by the huge shadows celebrini and smith will cast. maybe he can manage egos, maybe he's just really good at working around prodigies, maybe he's a prodigy himself, who knows!! I am compelled though!!

for d-men... Zayne Parekh. There are serious concerns scouts have with this guy's game. he is described by some as thee boom-or-bust prospect of this year's draft. dynamic as hell offensive defenseman, does things no other prospect in this draft would even think to do and . um. sometimes that thing is turning over the puck <3!!! or, as a random red wings podcast i was listening to this afternoon said: With Parekh, you might get Erik Karlsson, or you might get Erik Karlsson. and listen if you made it this far down you gotta understand that im a deeply unserious person about these things and this DID convince me that we GOTTA get him somehow. tbqh i wanted the Ducks to draft him because he was tragically separated from his bestie Pavel Mintyukov and i think a reunion would bring about an unprecedented era of world peace. but also. if they were on RIVAL TEAMS in the BATTLE FOR CALIFORNIA!!!!!!! oh that would be delicious <3 There's absolutely no way Parekh falls to 14th but this list isn't about realism its about my silly little dreams <3

Cole Hutson at 33 or 42 purely because i'm a fan of Lane Hutson (so so so jazzed to watch him play next season on either laval or montreal!!!!!) and they are similarly shifty and small. there is NO way mike 'you must be this tall to ride' grier drafts another 5'10 puck mover (<- more on this guy in a min). a fella can dream though <3

prospects who are my special little guys

Luca Cagnoni

ok quick recap. mike grier drafted Luca Cagnoni at 123rd last year. he is 5'10 (generously <3) and he's so special to meeeee <3 He's always been an offensive ROCKET!! so smart. WILL break ankles. great puck mover. great distributor on the pp. he's been working on his defence this year.

NO ONE THINKS HE'LL MAKE IT IN THE NHL BECAUSE HE'S LITTLE BUT EYE DO!!!!!!! If you go and check the Luca Cagnoni tag its literally just me and 1 other person. that 1 other person is now my friend. sometimes, my other sharks compatriots join in. but such is the nature of adopting a special little guy !!!

I get all misty-eyed thinking about how far he's come, from being undrafted in the WHL, falling to the 4th round in the NHL entry draft, and going on to have the strongest season a d-man in the WHL has had in 30 years. and yes he WAS the 123rd overall pick i was referring to earlier. He signed his ELC and it was the event of the offseason (to ME). it was more meaningful to me than the will smith signing i will be so real right now . I am hoping and praying that Luca gets a chance on the Sharks and flourishes.

sorry. sorry. i will NOT shut up about Luca Cagnoni. mike grier took a huge swing at the fences for him, he is so out of the gmmg wheelhouse its hysterical and i am genuinely shocked we drafted him. i wasn't there for it obviously but what was the draft floor like that day?? were people asking him Are You Sure, Sir. I'd have asked. i'd have knocked on his bald ass head to check if it was hollow (i, a bald person, can say this <3)

despite this. Luca Cagnoni WILL make it. ON GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kasper Halttunen

ok you saw me mem cup posting. this one isn't as deep!

i think he's got that dawg in him. him and his nepobaby london knights team were fun to watch!!!

i liked that he was squeezing denver barkey like a chew toy (gifed it, even!!!)

i am genuinely obsessed with the comments he leaves on other prospects' instagram posts. i've only looked around at a couple but yeah he's sure got a sense of humour <3

i would LOVE to see him develop out his 2-way game a little more and refine his beautiful bomb of a shot even further. i am excited to see how he progresses!!

bring him to the AHL as soon as possible gmmg i need to watch him squeeze the life out of his fellow sharks prospects

Macklin Celebrini

Alright this one seems so obvious because he's 1OA and automatically special BUT you guyyyyys. you guyyyyysss.... he's soooo good. I watched a couple of his college matches. I went back and watched some of his worlds matches. i have devoured so much literature on him. remember when I said i love when skilled players are defensively responsible?? Macklin Celebrini is that guy !! he is just so Shaped. the shape is Round. he is well-rounded like the beautiful sphere . the sphere where we will be drafting him. <3 yay !!!

no joke he IS a bit of a goon. finished his checks with a surprising amount of brutality in all the games i watched !! and like he had to be, I imagine he was getting targeted to hell and back in the NCAA. being 17 and playing against grown men. i like that he's got a bit of bite!!

listen, when the scouts and journos and pundits and coaches say he's "got a motor", what they mean is HE IS RELENTLESS. HE WILL NOT GIVE UP ON A PLAY. HE WILL RUN YOU DOWN AND THEN TURN AROUND AND SCORE ON YOU. HIS TEAM FOLLOWS HIS LEAD.

I just... I get the feeling he raises the people around him up to his standards because they can't help but want to match his intensity. I get the feeling that he is, aside from a great player, a great fit for the kind of culture the Sharks are trying to build. the Never Say Die Team. the We Will Eat You Team. i am completely, utterly endeared by his work ethic.

I think his little :^| face is so funny. i have posted about this before but when he smiles it looks like he has a few too many teeth and its GREAT. our shark. OUR SHARK!!!!!!

Honourable mentions:

Danil Gushchin: undersized creative forward with soft hands heloooo i love uou. mwah. unseat one of our girlfailure depth players next season i want to see u in the nhl <33

Shakir Mukhamadullin: Shak my noodleshark . he will absolutely see NHL ice full time next season if we remain bare on defence, so im not sure he counts anymore as a prospect. i believe in him so bad!!!!!!!!!!!

Georgi Romanov: unironically I think hes our only realistic hope for a Goalie of the Future. please survive the sharkuda experience my love <3

Will Smith: ROBBED of the hobey baker by our very own macklin celebrini. doesn't matter because he scored a dicktrick at hockey east finals and that shit was funny as hell. i think of him in terms of his boybestfriends BC Line which is forever shattered by his decision to sign with the sharks which means hes the driver of tragedy which makes him ELITE in my eyes.

honourable mentions 2 (obscure non-sharks edition):

Isaiah George: i fear i will actually have to watch the NY Islanders soon enough when they play him . i was watching the London Knights for Kasper and, as I do sometimes, I was struck by lightning after seeing him do something really interesting. I think I can probably go find the exact tags from when he first caught my eye. anyway! i am invested in him now and there is 0 current coverage on him !! ough my smooth skating defensive defenseman <333

Aatu Jamsen: a high skill/flashy forward the la kings signed to his ELC not too long ago <3 excited to see him play for the Ontario Reign. his lore is incredible. not to shill my own blog but i did a small post about him here and i am BEGGING everyone to go find out about him he moonlights as a RAP MUSICIAN!!!!. lak do not to bury him in the AHL forever im on my KNEES

Xavier Simoneau: les habs and their prospects got me. little guy (5'6) who is a bit fight-y. can and WILL go to battle against huge opponents for a puck and WIN. i look at him and slap my knee and i think. god damn he might actually do it. he might actually make the NHL.

Okay I think I will stop here before i start goin off about all the little guys i have tucked away...!! thank you for your time. thank you for handing me a mic and an excuse to yell about my little fellas. wehaveagathering dot tumblr you are thee flyers source to me. our failteams will soon share a shade of oranmge. I am very excited to fall in love with them!! <3

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

“Of my virtue, I am justly proud.”

Let the ringing bells resound, bringing this wish to life.

The chance encounter once longed for… let’s make it a reality.

Finally, the threads of Fate are intertwining.

At Last, we meet. Shall we Dance?

"... So, it is you they have sent to retain me."

"Erm, yes...“

"I see."

"I hope that’s not an issue for you, Rollo-senpai.”

“… It is acceptable to alternatives I was thinking of.”

“A-Ahahahah…”

"Hmm."

He pressed a handkerchief to his face, concealing his frown but not his judgmental eyes, harsh as stone. Raven shivered—yet she knew to keep her own gaze trained on him in spite of the many complex feelings twisting in her gut. Fear, hope, confusion, kinship.

Rollo Flamme looked out of place on Night Raven College grounds. His austere face made him appear more mature than the average student, more scornful elder than a young man. With his big hat and flowing robes, it was as though he had stepped out of another era and into present day, not through a magical mirror from one place to another.

Hidden away in the mirror chamber, two characters out of place.

He coughed stiffly.

This is so awkward... Should I say something? I-I should definitely say something in a reunion scene like this, right?!

Before Raven could, Rollo did.

"... Well?" The single word was pointed like a jagged shard of glass. "Shall we be on our way? We’re on a tight schedule, are we not?”

“A-Actually, no! The headmaster wishes for your stay to be as relaxing as possible, so we’re free to proceed at a leisurely pace.” Raven attempted to sound cheery. “Rather than focus on our facilities, he thinks it would be more beneficial to spend time among the student body. Classes, meals, extracurriculars, daily living—things like that. This way, you can get a better sense of how… inviting our community is.”

There was a longer than anticipated pause. The air in the mirror chamber chilled, freezing her feathers over.

“Inviting is not the descriptor I would have used.”

“The headmaster’s choice of phrasing, not mine,” Raven explained. “I am only serving as the messenger.”

“Yes, of course."

His was a face that didn't smile. Even his eyes seemed dead and disinterested, none of the light from the crystalline walls or the lit sconces reflecting off his pupils. They were like black holes, devouring all hope.

“I-It’s nice to see you again,” Raven tried again, careful with her choice of words. “You’ve been responding to some of my letters, but it feels much different to see you in the flesh once more. You look… better… than you did in our last meeting.”

He scoffed--a little emotion, but nothing positive. It was soft, audible to her, but perhaps not to the students milling about outside. “Is that a joke?"

"Not at all. I'm glad to see you in good spirits. You seemed a little peeved in your replies, so I was worried that you would retain that sentiment."

It didn't have the intended effect of soothing him. His frown only deepened.

“Do you have a preference for what you would like to see first, or…?”

"You must be enjoy playing this mind game," Rollo finally spat out. "Well? If you're going to jeer and taunt, then get on with it. No need to maintain the theatrics."

"What?" The accusation sent her reeling. Raven scrambled to collect herself. "No, I'm not... I simply... Wh-What are you implying?!"

"Come now. You understand the true nature of things, just as I do. We were both witnesses to it.” Frost lined his every breath. “Why bother with the charade? If you mean to mock me, then cut right to it. You deplorable lot have won. Relish in it. Rub it in.”

“These are my true feelings, Rollo-senpai." She shook her head sadly. “You’ve gone and done something terrible, but I don’t want to rub any more salt in your wound.”

“So you claim. Yet here you stand, speaking down to me as though I were as fragile as a glass slipper. That is equally as insulting, if not more so.”

“Why is that?”

Raven’s question hovered between them. It was a specter, haunting the present while clinging to the past.

"It's absurdly self-righteous."

Wow, look who's talking.

She held her tongue, knowing uttering it out loud wouldn't help the situation. Instead, Raven said, “I don't know what you believe, but as a storyteller, I believe that everyone has a story to tell, and a capacity to do good. They just have to be given the chance to act and the right encouragement. I don’t think there’s anything 'insulting' about that.”

"Hmph, this naive nonsense again. I'd have thought you'd know better by now." Clasping his hands together, the diamond-cut stone upon his ring glinted sinisterly. A contained hatred flickered in Rollo's eyes. "... Mere kindness will not put my motivations to rest."

"Maybe not, but I never intended for it to. A city isn't built in a day, and neither is one's character. It takes a journey and a supporting cast to get to that point. In that sense, you're not much different than me or any other student at NRC. You'll fit right in."

"Don't liken me to you and your ilk," Rollo snapped. "You're without virtue. Sparks that--if left untamed--can grow into an inferno, tearing down any and all life in its path. You drown yourself in debauchery and bring about nothing but pain and misery to this world."

“Is magic like fire to you? But there are gentle fires too. Fire that does not harm and destroy, but warms and guides. It’s energy and life. The same can be true of magic.”

His neutral mask slipped. For a second, Raven caught pure venom and rage on him--a glimpse into his true self. Rollo comfortably settled into a glare, his eyes alight with smoke and cinders and a smirk at his mouth.

"I can see that spending your time among the depraved has only further poisoned your thoughts. The dangerous ideology Draconia spews has seeped in deep."

"I'm not parroting Malleus-senpai's words. They're strictly my own."

"Then you're more brainwashed than you realize. Poor thing. I almost pity you myself."

Rollo took a step toward her, the motion vaguely threatening. She hadn't taken note of their height discrepancy until now--how he towered over her like an imposing bell tower over a town.

He lowered his face to meet the bird's, scorn searing into her. Shadows ringed them in an eerie, ritualistic dance.

"I once thought you capable of seeing my point of view. I could not have been more wrong. Your ashen soul is wholly unable to be salvaged.

"You play the part of savior when you're the one in need of rescuing yourself," Rollo hissed, voice low. "However, you'll find that I'm not so merciful of a man. To shepherd a black sheep to safety is to invite trouble to the entire flock. You've made your allegiances clear--and for that, I will not hesitate to strike you down when the next opportunity presents itself."

A warning.

Raven quivered at his promise of retribution, the unrelenting fervor burning in his hateful heart. Her legs threatened to give way, holding only by the fear stiffening the feeling in her limbs. If Rollo was a wildfire, then she was an animal entangled in its blazing heat.

She searched within herself for a fitting response. A rebuttal, a challenge. Something a hero might sassily retort to inspire confidence and another day.

A single wish resounded in her mind. It rang clearly in the darkness, cutting with clarity and dispelling doubt.

One man's advice, loud and true.

“Young Crowley, you must not waver. Let your conviction be known. For your words to be heard, and for them to resonate with those who need it most... That is what you desire most of all, is it not?”

What I desire the most is...

A happily ever after for everyone.

Raven swallowed her pride and terror, seizing all her courage. She tugged on Rollo's arm, forcing him to lurch forward, falling in step with her.

“Wh-What are you…?! Release me at once, you vile villain!!"

He wobbled, his handkerchief fluttering to the floor. Seriousness shifted into shock as they plunged into a hallway jam-packed with students in striped ties and armbands.

Harsh light pooled on them. Curious heads turned. Staring, judging. Silencing the guilty—silencing Rollo.

"Sorry, no can do!" Raven called back. She forced a snaggle-toothed smile as she hauled him after her. "Let's be off now!! There's so much for you to see and do here at our Night Raven College."

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

heyyyy🫶🫶 for something quick, do you have any hc of certain AUs for warner? also good luck with prom dress shopping!!💗💗

-🪷

omg hi 🪷!! thank u for the luck i need it cus im sewing some of it and im still a beginner LOLL

for au’s i do have a few that have crossed my mind recently, im sure i can do more that this if i put my mind to it

so i had this idea i scrapped before i even wrote the ferrars! reader hcs and basically its a tangled inspired au (ik super ironic bc kenji is the one tangled obsessed)

reader was hidden away at a young age because of her powers and the restablishment uses them to control the word (like how they utilized emmaline basically) so you live in this secluded tower away from sector 45

so aaron is finds you accidentally when he’s on a mission and he gets separated from his soldiers for a bit and sees the tower

then he climbs up and scares you so you hit him with a pan (LOL) and then you explain that you lived there forever but leave out your gift

aaron reintroduces you to the world and secretly keeps you at the base to hide you from his father (once he learns about what you can do)

then for your birthday he takes you to a festival thing but then your both caught by aarons dad

the rest isnt that planned out but rough synopsis of my idea

and then i often think more abt aaron and reader in present times like

imagine reader and aaron going to the met gala (aaron is ur stylist no one tell me otherwise)

or just any red carpet event, you both tend to match

paparazzi pics of you both

being rumored to break up every week or “cheating” scandals

you both arent really into social media but both def have a pinterest / instagram / maybe twitter

your instagram feed is just pictures of aaron, places, and friends and occasionally yourself

aaron’s feed is literally only pictures of you. he posts like once or twice a month. but his stories are active because he likes to post his outfits or yours.

if you post on any media platform aaron is ALWAYS the first to like & comment no matter what

people constantly asking aaron if he can fight (he always responds he can)

kenji’s the type to make u both participate in tiktoks or prank u with current trends

also you have a group chat with juliette, kenji, nazeera, and adam (he was added by accident but then stayed there)

aaron sends you random pictures of things that reminds him of you. anytime your not tigether he’s going to message you a bunch.

sugar daddy! aaron warner is literally the dream. this one is set in modern era

you are a college student struggling financially, and if you dont get money for tuition you can go to school/will be kicked out. your parents kicked you out for following your own dream, so you have no one to turn to

aaron is a ceo, happens to find you at your job as a barista. he immediately thinks tour the most beautiful person ever and wants to know you. so he shows up almost everyday to the place even though its out of his way to work.

you two get to know each other a bit and you let your financial situation slip out, so aaron offers you money, but you decline and such.

you think thats it, but then you later get an email to let you know your tuition is covered.

you feel bad and offer aaron anything to let ypu repay him in some way, so he bargains that you let him take you to places and basically date him.

so that starts your arrangement.

buys you quite literally anything — even if you dont say you want it. if you glance at it in a store, you’ll see it on your bed the next day.

you even get to move into his apartment because he hates the idea of you in those ugly small dorms, and i’ll be easier for you both to see each other. (he’s clingy)

you go with him at any event, he literally never went to any before he started seeing you now he wants to take you everywhere in pretty dresses

even when your officially dating he won’t stop buying you things, if anything it doubles.

this ones dark so TW but with the the hype of the scream movies going around it got me imagining ghostface! aaron warner working with ghost face! kenji (i imagine this set in the 90s type era bc 1st scream is so iconic)

in this au aaron’s abusive childhood enabled him to have psychopathic tendencies so he starts off with random killings then later gets into the ghostface thing after wanting to get revenge on juliette for cheating on him with adam.

aaron enlists kenji because kenji’s the one that figure out it was him, but he’s doesn’t want him to turn aaron in, he wants to help. but kenji is kind of easy to manipulate so aaron is the master mind.

aaron makes the calls and kenji does most of the killing.

aaron and you are already dating when the killings start happening

you were originally meant to be killed bc you’re bffs with juliette but then aaron fell in love with you so now he protects you (#couplegoals)

if anyone messes with you or a guy gets too close with you, they’re gone. if a person is involved with you then aaron is likely to kill, especially if he already doesn’t like them

adam is the first to go (LMAOO), then its brendan, ian, nazeera (queen was a fighter im sorry

your so oblivious to it all and very scared that ghostface going after you next. and aaron thinks that’s so cute. so much that he calls your house as ghostface just so you can call him all scared and run into his arms for protection.

and if you somehow figure it out he’s just going to kidnap you and lock you somewhere you can’t escape and leave him <3 (i’m insane for wanting that)

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Thomas Chatterton Williams

Published: May 19, 2024

We’d gathered that day at the cafeteria’s “Black” table, cracking jokes and philosophizing during the free period that was our perk as upperclassmen. We came in different shades: bone white, tan and brownish, dark as a silhouette. One of my classmates, who fancied himself a lyricist, was insisting that Redman, a witty emcee from nearby Newark, New Jersey, was the greatest rapper ever. This was the late ’90s, and for my money, no one could compete with Jay-Z. I said so, and the debate, good-natured at first, soon escalated in intensity, touching on feelings and resentments that ran far deeper than diverging claims about artistic merit.

“How can you even weigh in?” I still remember the kid fuming. “You ain’t even the pure breed!”

With that, there was nothing left to say. Friends separated us, the bell rang, and I headed home. A short time later, I went off to college, where I would meet a wider assortment of Americans than I had realized existed. But over the years, I have been reminded of that boy’s slicing racism, the lazy habit of mind that required no white people to be present but would nonetheless please the most virulent white supremacist.

Recently, two public controversies spirited me back to the suspicion and confusion of my high-school cafeteria. All spring long, an unusually nasty feud between the rappers Drake and Kendrick Lamar has been captivating audiences, both for the quality of the music it has engendered and for the personal and malicious dimensions of the attacks it has countenanced. Much has been written about the fight, in particular about the two men’s treatment of women, which I won’t rehash here except to point out that it’s a little funny that they both portray themselves as enlightened allies while also acting as if the ultimate disparagement is to call another man feminine. Less has been said about the potency of the racial dimension, which feels like a throwback to a time before Drake’s pop-culture dominance—indeed, to a time before the historic hybridity of the Obama era—and like a distillation of the skin-deep racialism of the current social-justice movement.

Drake, who grew up in Toronto, is the son of a white Jewish mother from Canada and a Black father from Memphis. Since the release of his 2009 mixtape, So Far Gone, he has been not only the most successful visibly mixed-race rapper—and arguably pop star—but also the most visible Black male musician for some time now. Anyone at the top will attract criticism. But not even a white rapper like Eminem has been subject to the kind of racial derogation that has been hurled at Drake.

Back in 2018, the rapper Pusha T released a diss track about him for which the cover art was an old photograph of Drake performing in a cartoonish blackface. The image makes you cringe, but—as Drake explained—that was the point. Drake began his career as an actor, and he wrote that the photograph was part of a “project that was about young black actors struggling to get roles, being stereotyped and typecast … The photos represented how African Americans were once wrongfully portrayed in entertainment.” But presented without context, it appeared to be a self-evident statement of inauthenticity.

Another rapper, Rick Ross, calls Drake “white boy” again and again in his song “Champagne Moments,” released in April. In an op-ed for The Grio, the music journalist Touré explains why the insult is so effective: “We know Drake is biracial. He’s never hidden that, but many of us think of him as Black or at least as a part of the culture … On this record, Ross is out to change that.” Touré calls this “hyperproblematic,” but his tone is approving—he admires the track. “We shouldn’t be excluding biracial people from the Black community, but in a rap beef where all is fair as a way of attacking someone and undermining their credibility and their identity, it’s a powerful message.”

In a series of more high-profile records, Lamar has built on Ross’s theme, both implying and stating directly that racial categories are real, that behaviors and circumstances (like Drake’s suburban upbringing) correlate with race, and that the very mixedness of Drake’s background renders him suspect. It is an anachronistic line of ad hominem attack that is depressing to encounter a quarter of the way into the 21st century.

Lamar’s most recent Drake diss is called “Not Like Us,” and reached No. 1 on Billboard Hot 100. It goes after Drake’s cultural affiliations with the American South. “No, you not a colleague,” Lamar taunts. “You a fucking colonizer!”

It’s hard to hear that and not remember that Drake’s mother is Jewish, and that this is the same invective used to undermine Jews’ sense of belonging in Israel. Such racist habits of thought have become potent rhetorical weapons in the progressive arsenal.

The second (if smaller) controversy followed an essay on language and protest published in The New Yorker earlier this month. The novelist Zadie Smith, who is of European and African descent, argued—carefully—that it is too simplistic to regard the world as sortable into categories of oppressor and oppressed. “Practicing our ethics in the real world involves a constant testing of them,” she writes, “a recognition that our zones of ethical interest have no fixed boundaries and may need to widen and shrink moment by moment as the situation demands.” This was an attempt to take seriously the tangible fate of Hamas’s victims on October 7, the broader implications of anti-Semitism that can at times be found in criticism of Israel’s response, and the ongoing tragic loss of Palestinian life.

Despite praising the protests that have engulfed college campuses and describing a cease-fire in Gaza as “an ethical necessity,” Smith was derided on more than intellectual grounds. One widely shared tweet, accompanied by a photo of Smith, stated the criticism plainly: “I feel like Zadie Smith uses black aesthetics to conceal her deeply pedestrian white middle-class politics. People see the head wrap and the earrings made of kente cloth and confuse that for something more substantive.”

This was not the first time Smith had been regarded as a racial interloper. The author Morgan Jerkins once wrote of the emotional “hurt” she felt reading another thoughtful essay Smith published in Harper’s asking “Who owns black pain?” Smith’s transgression here, according to Jerkins, was “intellectualizing blackness” from a distance instead of feeling it. “Do not be surprised,” Jerkins warned, “if a chunk of that essay is used in discussions as to why biracial people need to take a backseat in the movement.”

The retrograde notion that thought and action necessarily flow from racial identities whose borders are definable and whose authority is heritable is both fictitious and counterproductive. “Something is afoot that is the business of every citizen who thought that the racist concepts of a century ago were gone­—and good riddance!” Barbara and Karen Fields write in their 2012 masterpiece, Racecraft: The Soul of Inequality in American Life. “The continued vitality of those concepts stands as a reminder that, however important a historical watershed the election of an African-American president may be, America’s post-racial era has not been born.”

Of course, the first African American president was, like our nation and culture, himself both Black and white. One of the most disappointing—and, I have come to realize—enduring reasons the “post-racial era” continues to elude us is that it is not only the avowed racists who would hold that biographical fact against him.

==

This is why we call it neoracism, not "antiracism."

[theuniversitychallengereview]

Oxbridge Avalanche

I was going to write this intro about CJ doing the Jackal, a famous scene from the West Wing.

But I have seen a load of tweets about the fact that Oxford and Cambridge are allowed to enter multiple colleges on Uni Challenge, so I've changed my mind.

Multi College Entries

To replace The Jackal, I am going to recycle a post I wrote on the subject in 2016.

I am doing this because:

We are in the midst of a climate crisis and any kind of reuse helps out. Think of the energy it would take to generate an entirely new post.

It slaps, and says pretty much everything I would say now, but if anyone complains about it I can say that they were the words of a snot-nosed 20 year old who didn't know what they were doing. Giving me some sort of diplomatic immunity.

Anyway, this originally formed part of the intro for a post about the first round match between Wadham, Oxford and Robinson, Cambridge in 2016.

Let me know in the comments if you disagree (or agree) with any of it.

Sign up for The University Challenge Review

Intro to Wadham vs Robinson

August 2016

I consider myself to have a reasonable grasp of how to use Google in the mission of finding answers to tricky questions, but I have thus far failed to find a satisfactory reason as to why Oxford and Cambridge Universities were ever allowed to enter multiple teams in the first place. Durham also has a collegiate system, for example, but they get just the one team, which flatly debunks the only logical point ever put forward. The reason generally given is that each of the colleges are distinct entities, because tutorials for each college are held separately from the rest.

But that, frankly, is a nonsense non-explanation. Lectures for each course are attended by students from all of the colleges. This is the same as for all Universities and all courses at all other Universities are then split down into tutorial groups too. The only difference is that outside Oxbridge you don’t live with your tutorial groups or under any kind of collegiate label. Another reason given, I think entirely seriously, was that each college has its own individual library…

The Manchester team of 1975 famously protested the bias by answering every question with either ‘Trotsky’, ‘Lenin’ or ‘Marx’, which, while in its own precious way was quite noble, surely must have been a most dreary half hour of viewing. This achieved nothing, as evidenced by the eleven Oxbridge entities competing in this years series. Perhaps a better protest would have been to, like their recent counterparts, win the series. I think the main reason that this is still the situation nowadays is the classic ‘its-always-been-this-way-so-why-would-you-change-it’ argument, rather than anything that actually makes logical sense.

So why, in this enlightened era when even the most corrupt of organisations in FIFA have been persuaded to initiate goal line technology has nothing been done to change this? 

The explanation most commonly given is that were the two Universities to field a singular team they would both produce invincible monsters, and sweep aside all comers in what would surely become the most boringly predictable of spectacles. Splitting them into colleges makes the competition fairer to the other, less prestigious institutions, who would undoubtedly stand no chance against either Oxbridge ‘Superteam’.

This argument though, falls short on all counts. Oxbridge Universities may have won 54.5% of the 22 series since Jeremy Paxman became presenter, but when you consider that they have comprised 39.3% of all competitors that statistic doesn’t seem so impressive. If you let Novak Djokovic enter both himself and forty nine clones into Grand Slams (39.3% of 128) then he would have won more than the twelve he already has, and that would then have prevented less high-profile players (or Universities) from taking part. Manchester University, meanwhile, have won 18.2% of these series with only 2.5% of the entrants, though that comparison is probably a tad facetious.

As stated at the start of this post, this series features three Oxbridge matches in the first round alone, which guarantees them three teams in the second round (including one Cambridge team specifically, given the Cam-Cam match in week four) and eight chances in total for a team to make that stage. All other entrants only have one chance, so part of their success has to be attributed to the advantage they both already have before a question has even been asked.

2024 Retrospective

Reading this back, I can quickly pick holes in the Djokovic analogy. If it were to be a fair comparison then the 49 Djokovices (Djokovici?) would need to be lesser than the one true Djokovic, making it unikely they would outperform the expected number of grand slams.

But in general, I think it mostly stands up. There aren't really any good reasons as to why there are multiple Oxbridge teams other than 'that's the way its always been done'.

And the 'Superteam' argument can be more readily disputed nowadays, given that non-Oxbridge universities have won each of the last six series, with no Oxbridge teams making the final in the past three years.

Other unis have developed stronger quiz scenes, taking away some of the Oxbridge advantage.

Maybe they are in need of a superteam in order to compete with the new wave of quizzing behemoths.

Pre-Match Analysis

Anyway - let's get on with this episode, which was between Exeter and Christ's.

Exeter made the quarter-finals in 1997, but haven't been on since 2009, which is the only year in which both Exeter and Exeter, Oxford appeared on the show.

Here's your first starter for ten.

Christ's, Bethlehem gets us off to a good start with Clara Schumann. I had my most viral tweet of all time yesterday, pointing out how fantastic a combination of college and contestant this is.

Christ's, Bethlehem.

I wonder if he chose the college because of the potential for amusing situations like this.

When I was at uni, I picked my halls based on the fact I shared a name with one of them, and that brought plenty of mild hilarity, so I can only imagine the sheer ecstatic joy brought on by anyone at Cambridge discovering that Bethlehem goes to Christ's.

Folks, we may just have the best ever contestant/team name combination tonight #UniversityChallenge Christ's, Bethlehem CHRIST'S, BETHLEHEM pic.twitter.com/R4ISoTSYRG— Starter for 10 (@TheUCReview) October 14, 2024

Doing numbers

They take a hat-trick on pairs of kings (three (times two) wise men), with Bethlehem displaying some impeccable recall.

Do Not Despard

His captain Despard, who looks like he's time travelled from the 80s, takes the next starter with cilia, but they struggle with a bonus set on German cinema.

Another for Despard puts Christ's 55-points clear, before Gray takes a picture starter to get Exeter off the mark. They are denied a bonus because they use a verb in the present tense rather than the perfect, which seems needlessly persnickety. I get that the meaning is subtly different, but come on.

Bethlehem loses 5-points with an incorrect buzz, but makes up for it immediately with Doctor of the Church on the following starter.

Vemuri hits back for Exeter with interpreter, but they can't build any momentum and Despard takes another with the Pritzker prize. A fourth for the Christ's captain puts them 60-points to the good, before Gray - the multimedia star of the episode - takes the music starter to keep Exeter in it.

O Little Town

The Klein bottle gives him a third starter, but Bethlehem once again stops Exeter in their tracks with Croatia.

The fantastically named (indeed, in an episode which didn't feature Christ's, Bethlehem he may have got more screentime in this blog) Schuyler Colfax brings Exeter to within 20-points, but the last five or so minutes of this game belong to Bethlehem, and he notches up another four starters to end the game with seven.

Exeter 110 - 205 Christ's

Christ's join Wadham and Oriel, Oxford and Darwin, Cambridge in the second round. They can be joined at most by one more Oxbridge college - St Edmund Hall, Oxford, who face SOAS in the final first round match up.

Could this be the year the Oxbridge drought is ended?

Join me next week as St Andrews take on Cardiff.

In the meantime I'll be thinking of Bethlehem references for Christ's second round appearance.

[krenenbaker]

Stop the World - 2: Seize the Moment

Pairing: Malleus/Cater

Warnings/Features: Angst (eventually with a happy ending), mention of death, (somewhat?) posessive Malleus Draconia

Summary: Cater and Malleus have found a comfortable rhythm to their lives in their last year at Night Raven College. But as the threat of change creeps closer, their fears about the future do too.

Malleus: Clinging onto the present

Notes: I've been working on the third and final part of this (thanks mostly to Inky!!), but I realized that I haven't actually posted the second part here yet, only on my AO3! If you haven't yet, you can read the first part here, which can be read before or after this one. Now just to finish the final part... And I will actually post the third part here in a timely manner once it's finished, instead of a month later! ^^;

Tags: @dove-da-birb, @inkybloom-luv, @silvers-numberonefan, @azulashengrottospiano (if you'd like to be tagged, or not tagged, in the writing I post, please let me know!)

Part 1 | Part 3 | AO3 Version (ft. all chapters)

When Malleus made a commitment, he put everything he had into it. He was aware that this intensity could be off-putting to some. It tended to scare people away. Even more so with everyone already fearing him for his name, strength, size, and social position.

Everyone, it seemed, but the human sitting beside him that very moment, leaning into his side. The one who was brave enough to approach him with a smile and, curiously, gentle taunts a number of months ago. The human who slowly opened his heart, gifting everything from his tears to his name, and let Malleus - no, "Mal" - make his claim, finding true warmth, and laughter, and love within. The little human who became his most precious Treasure.

Despite their differing positions - and shared masculine identity - both of their families were generally supportive, as were his future subjects. Or they would be, were Malleus not the next, and last, Draconia in line for the throne. He knew that he was expected to marry and subsequently sire an heir. Or two. Or five. And though his people held no prejudice against same-gender love, his heart had been captured by someone who - as he was - could not produce children. (There were ways, of course, which would be discussed when the time was right.)

While there were also very few issues with marriage between nobility and other classes, the same could not be said for relationships between a fae and a human... especially a human foreigner.

(Perhaps it was time for that to change. For the kingdom to begin to heal from the past and enter a new era.)

Even so, another thought plagued his mind. Malleus also knew that time would continue to pass, and it would not be kind. He would see his partner, his Treasure, his Cater age and wither and die as he continued to live on. He would barely even reach middle age as moss would inevitably begin to creep onto a slowly weathering gravestone.

And even now, their time together at Night Raven College was passing terribly fast and was nearly through. In mere months there would be no more lazy afternoons at each other's dorm for tea. Visits into town to try spicy ice cream or the newest artistically prepared coffees would end. There wouldn't be any more weekends in the school library studying with their legs softly pressed together as they sat sharing a textbook. And quiet moments at dusk, watching the sun dip down over the trees in the courtyard, like this evening, would cease.

He would never wish to admit so, but it hurt.

Malleus just wanted things to stay as they were. No royal duties to fulfill. No judgements. No cruel time eating away at their bodies. Just him and Cater, sitting side-by-side as the stars slowly appeared above them.

He feels a slight tenseness from his companion. Well, the sun has set; it must be becoming cold for a human. He gently grabs Cater's hand, both to offer some warmth, and in an attempt to quiet his own worried mind.

In that moment, Malleus swore that he would keep Cater Diamond by his side. He was committed to his human... no matter what comes.

[bisluthq]

https://www.tumblr.com/bisluthq/760849091467067392/yeah-i-agree-but-taylor-doesnt-seem-to-like-to?source=share

The whole "Taylor doesn't relax" thing reminds me of how sad the Speak Now era quotes from the Lover Journals make me:

Oct 8, 2010

"Music has helped me a lot lately. It helps me quiet my very loud fears. I love mornings like that, smiling and talking to strangers, waving to fans, and they burst into tears and screams.. All before noon... I get stage fright every time I walk onto a stage now. I wish it wasn't so, but I can't blame my mind for freaking out about performances. Criticism of my performances has been the biggest source of pain in my life. I sometimes feel like my college degree is in acting like i'm ok when i'm not."

Jun 17, 2011

"Something so unexpected and amazing has happened recently.. I've become blissfully happy with my life. Like, actually grateful for every second of the day... I really do need to create in order to live and feel worthwhile... This ridiculous thing happens to me when i'm this happy. I start feeling like karma will balance it all out by making something tragic happen. But i'm trying to just show gratitude as much as I can. Everyday, every minute, I'm grateful for being happy right this moment. I think I'm a summer person. I'm also a work person. Tour gives me something to pour myself into and a reason to feel ok about sleeping in till noon on my days off."

Sep 8, 2011

"I can't even tell you how alive and worthwhile i feel when I'm writing a new song and I finish it and people like it. It's the most fulfilling feeling, like getting an A+ on your report card."

Oct 30, 2011

"I've had a chest infection for the last few days, so singing has been so hard... I almost cancelled tonight's show, but I made it through... We only have 9 shows left on this tour and I'm ready for a break... I'm just so glad to have a few days off. (ok... 2)"

Mar 2, 2012

"I've been thinking a lot about getting older and relevancy and how all my heroes have ended up alone... I wrote a song and it's called 'Nothin New' and it's about being scared of aging and things changing and losing what you have. It says "I'm getting older and less sure of what you like about me anyways". And in the chorus it says "how can a person know everything at 18, and nothing at 22? And will you still want me... when I'm nothing new" It's a really vulnerable song, but I think it's important to say."

--

Idk. There's just something about a lot of observably unhealthy patterns seemingly developing around this time. Also the comments surrounding "needing to create to feel worthwhile" make me sad, since she's said later that for 6 months before writing Red (so late 2010/Early 2011) she couldn't write anything due to a "particular toxic relationship" *cough* Jake Gyllenhaal *cough*. Anyway. She’s clearly been "doing it with a broken heart" for a long ass fucking time.

yup. And that’s why I say like if this one doesn’t work out (I hope it does) I’d like her to ACTUALLY take time off and be single for a while and deal with her own shit.

okay so story time right because I keep saying this applies to me, and it does, but I do feel like I need to break the pattern and my current bf and I are doing unchartered territory for me like going to couples therapy and whatnot. My friend (the technophobe biokineticist who dated my bf’s close friend) was round the other day and having a whole ass meltdown right because she drank too much (which was on her because it was inappropriate because I had ONE light beer while she was here and my bf didn’t have anything because he thought we might have to drive her home and her car was here so we both needed to be like present yk) and she was going on and on about how she wants to be single until December (which we think is a very solid choice for her) and ergo she was upset her brother told her his friends find her hot (here’s where we lost her train of thought) because her brother and his friends are in their 30s and she’s in her 40s (like my bf also so it was hitting a nerve for us both) and she was going on and on about this and we were like “so would you rather 30 somethings don’t find you hot???” And she was like “no but I want to stay single until December!!!” and we were like “okay so do that lmao a dude finding you hot while you’re out isn’t asking to marry you?” and she was like “yes but I hate that all I’m good for is sex” and we were like “wait so do you want to fuck the 30something or nah because you don’t have to but also he’s a big boy and yes he probably doesn’t look at a 40something and plan marriage and kids right if he’s not stupid but also age gap relationships happen at our age and don’t feel that dramatic so which do you want???” And she was just like “you guys can’t understand” supposedly because he’s a man and I’m in my 30s and maybe that’s true. But all I keep thinking is my bestie evidently pencilled in FUCK DAY on December 5th lol 😂😂😂😂 and that to me is not being single or figuring yourself out at alllll lol.

[overfedvenison]

Could you talk more about Gwyndolin Dark Souls? What's his(?) deal, and the boobs?

Uhh I suppose Gwyndolin is a secret boss from Dark Souls 1. He is an illusionst who set up the Anor Londo area of the series in it's current form, which imitates the grandiosity it had in it's prime. In truth, most of what you see are part of a grand illusion meant to guide a chosen undead along a path to a chosen end - to succeed Lord Gwyn as the kindling of the First Flame, prolonging the age of light.

A recurring theme in the series is the idea that this world you inhabit is decaying, and clinging on to the embers of a better and more prosperous era. Anor Londo is probably the most obvious reflection of this - presenting itself as though it is still in a golden era, but actually a dark, empty city maintained by the one remaining god in it. And that god is Gwyndolin. Gwyndolin is a son of Lord Gwyn, raised as a daughter because of his affinity for the moon's power in his magic. (The moon being feminine is a well-established thing in both fantasy and real life.) This makes him a literal "Male Daughter;" the literal meaning of "Otokonoko" which is that kind of male crossdresser archetype you see in Japanese media sometimes. I don't THINK he's ever referred to as an Otokonoko explicitly in the Japanese text, but it seems like a logical association, in my mind. I won't delve to deeply into what that means here, but suffice it to say that - although I don't think literally being raised female is actually that much of a thing - that sort of "Crossdresser Lifestyler" concept IS a thing over there, and is not just an anime thing. I see a lot of people asserting that characters like this are just trans characters portrayed incorrectly, but I feel like that is a total misread and disregard for this other concept in favour of western norms.

(Note that although I occasionally see people insisting on feminine pronouns, the game games themselves have never used these though they occasionally use neutral terms and more feminine descriptors like "Goddess." This makes sense, characters like this often use female descriptors paired with male pronouns.)

In any case, there are a number of things which directly tie in to this identity. His affinity for illusions is cool. I feel like it's relatively common on the rare intersections between "Otokonoko/femboy/trap/whatever" and "Fantasy Setting," but I've only really seen that like twice. But, for example, you can see this association as well in Chrono Trigger's Flea

(...Come to think of it, one of my college textbooks was literally called The Illusion of Life. Is there something innate about this connection? Pfft) But it's pretty logical. The crossdressing character has illusions, and among other things it would make him look more feminine. In Dark Souls 3, you can return to Anor Londo. Gwyndolin has been devoured by Aldrich and can be seen in his boss fight. But if you return to his room from the original Dark Souls, you can find this:

It changes your animations to those of the other gender. That's actually such a brilliant thing to add to this game, and implies he needed some help along the way. It's also near-useless to you, but, yeah.

As for the boobs, I think his armor just has boobs. An outfit like that is a lot less uhh, required, to have anatomy under the clothes than you may expect. I can tell you that from experience, haha.

A character wearing it I pulled off of an Oceanhero search ...I have no idea why he has snakes for feet. Like, that's not a Lord thing. I don't think it's ever explained why he's like that. Strange. Maybe they're illusory snakes? Maybe he's like Flea and just looks like whatever he wants too. Aaand, yeah

[zmediaoutlet]

happy wincest day, z! (every day, every day)

a q for u: in my head, you're the queen of the 'established relationship' fic (if that's a mischaracterisation, apologies, you just do it so well), but if you had to pick the time (season/era) when they most likely crossed that line, when would it be?

side question: what's a season/moment for first-time that you find underrated/unconventional/fascinating?

happy wincest any day, all the days! (sidenote I keep having these ultra busy weekends and there's no sign of that stopping so oh man, catching up on asks is a Task! but here I am! so strong, admire the strength -- anyway -- )

I do not mind being queen of established relationship! It's my favorite fic model -- like I almost never click on first time, haha -- so it's a good thing to be known for. :) My... very very boring answer to this question is that 'most likely' just entirely depends on the background & sexualities of the Winchesters you've decided to work with -- all of which can change a lot even inside wildly canon-feeling presentations, because the nice thing about Supernatural's canon is that there's a ton of wiggle-room to play with their histories and internal processing. There are places you can go which start to feel OOC, but like -- it's trivially easy to say that, e.g., Dean did sex work for an unspecified period pre-pilot. Sam had a bi-curious moment in college. Sam and Dean were alone in a cabin in Wyoming for three straight months and started to get stir crazy. When he was 17, Dean and John [redacted]. With all of those potential options, 'most likely' gets really hard to pin down.

THAT SAID: the model of the Winchesters that I personally Queen Z of Established Relationship Grotto prefer to go with is:

a Dean who did a non-personally-traumatizing amount/degree of sex work in his late teens/twenties; a Dean who is bisexual but of the model where he tends to sleep with women because they're easier/more practical, but leans homoromantic and operates in a more neutral men-who-have-sex-with-men model where they Don't Talk About it; Dean and John were Some Kinda Way (emotionally if not physically incestuous); Dean is aware that his own feelings over Sam are fucked up; and then

a Sam who is mostly straight although doesn't tie his personality to that fact, bc he knows himself pretty well and doesn't need to front about it; a Sam who may have had a same-sex handjob or something in college but, again, it doesn't definitionally change anything for him; a Sam who actually kind of leans aro, mostly because the only relationship he really needs is the relationship with Dean; a Sam who knew that Dean and John were Weird (but not the extent); a Sam who wants a lot of things, but he really wants to want things, which is substantively different.

So: given those two guys, I really like them hooking up very specifically in the area around 2.02, Everybody Loves a Clown.

It's a great moment for a lot of reasons. John's looming presence is cut out, although of course that ghost haunts them still and the effect of his death is a shockwave that changes things massively for both sons. Sam's dragged closer to the family (too little, too late) and turns inward in a big way; Dean's sense of loyalty is cracked in half, both because of John's loss and because of the unthinkable last job he was given, and he's turned toward rebellion for possibly the first time since he was eight. Plus it's just a good atmosphere: hot, oppressively sweaty, that uncompromising sun beating down and searing away all the shadows they used to lurk in. No matter who starts it, they're both in a wildly unstable place and the underlying rules of their relationship have changed -- something that I think is key for a first time to feel legit. It's also one of my favorite places for the ostensible one-and-done that might lurk in the bg of 'first time in a long time,' another of my happiest fic models: that e.g. Sam was drunk and grieving and made a pass at Dean, and maybe they kissed and maybe they even crashed the yogurt truck together (my new favorite euphemism for ejaculation), but that afterward it's put away, and it's not until like s11 that they open up that box again.

As for the side question: since I don't really like first time, this one's tough, but I will say that I'm pretty done with first time in s1. They barely know each other. Give them a minute. Get some s12 maturity-and-shock feels when their mother's gone a-fucking-gain. Get some s6 when Sam's freshly resouled and Dean's so happy he could light up the room. Wendigo? Wen-suck my dick.

[butchybats]

ELABORATE ON THE 5+1 TSHOT ADVENTURES PLEAS?

!!! OKAY SO. This started because months ago I saw a post asking if you’d let your icon do your hrt for you which no I wouldn’t <3 but it got me thinking and I think that he absolutely would for Daniel, even if he doesn’t really understand it at first. Armand’s also trans in this because I say so but hrt came out centuries after he was turned, and I don’t think he would even know about it (let alone consider it an option) until he met Daniel, or if we’re going off of amc verse, until he and Louis started bar hopping in the 70s (which, coincidentally, is when they meet Daniel.)

I think that when the interview takes place Daniel hasn’t began to medically transition, maybe he’s not even sure if he wants to, but he’s socially transitioned. Moving to sf for college was the perfect opportunity to present as himself without anyone knowing otherwise. Then when he’s doing the cat and mouse game with Armand, he doesn’t really have the time to think about it more until after pompeii (which also gives an additional layer of meaning to “you are mine, beautiful boy.) Once things have settled down a bit is when he decides that he wants to go on testosterone and is also when he officially comes out to Armand.

Which brings me back to my silly little fic idea; five times that Armand assists Daniel with his t shot, and the time that Daniel helps him with his. (This is amc verse but if I ever get the idea/motivation for a t4t vc fic...)

So, idea #1: It's Daniel's first time doing his t shot and he's really nervous so Armand offers to do it for him which he agrees to, and it'd just be a very intimate moment for both of them

#2: Daniel has been stressed out of his mind and forgets to take it and just as he’s about to fall asleep Armand reminds him that he should probably do it and Daniel says he doesn’t have the energy or patience to do it so Armand does it for him

#3: Because I absolutely love Armand tormenting old maniel: “You're scheduled to have your testosterone injection tomorrow." Aka Daniel’s like. You mean the shot I’ve been giving myself every week for the past 45 years? Why are you making it seem like such a big deal?” and Armand role playing as Rashid goes “what? Don’t be silly. I’ll give it to you :)” and Daniel has to pretend like he isn’t short circuiting. While the first two are more serious this one's really funny to me because realistically there's no way that Daniel would let "Rashid" do that but he looks to Louis for help and he just smiles and gives him a thumbs up HGHG

#4: So people on t produce more blood. Armand's a vampire. Enough said. (but because I can't shut up:) Daniel bleeds a bit from the needle which gets Armand excited and they fuck nasty about it <3 (initially I was picturing dm era but it could also be in dubai??)

#5: I haven't gotten this far yet but if anyone has any ideas please tell me!!

+1: Armand decides that he wants to try t, and together they experiment to come up with something that works (again, this could be dm era or dubai, there's too many decisions)

I know that #3 is more detailed than the other ones, initially I was writing down what was essentially an outline and then decided that I needed to be way more vague but I was struggling to condense that one hghg

If you've read this far ily, let me know how we're feeling about this!!

[hikaririnku-blog]

Tag Game

Rules: tag 9 people (or so) you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer the questions below! — I was tagged by @cizzle-freezy !

(Quick disclaimer from me (Hikari), I am a HUGE paragraph writer, so bear with me.)

*~Song~*

A lot of my favorite songs tend to be related to video game soundtracks, and rarely do I expand my horizons. But, when I do, I gravitate towards a variety of genres, specifically ones akin to rock/metal/hard rock, EDM/future bass, and synthwave/vaporwave. Finally, after all these years, I have a favorite song that alligns with a multitude of my tastes.

When my partner introduced me to Devil May Cry series, the music from the games was really amazing to me. But then, they played Devil May Cry 5, got to the part where I see Vergil, and I hear his battle theme... It was over from there. Bury the Light is my Absolute All-Time Favorite™️ in my mind, something that I can repeat without getting tired of it, and, ironically, it gives me motivation, keeps me going without anyone or anything getting in my way, and makes me feel like I have the power to do anything.

*~Ships~*

Ships I typically keep on the down-low, since they're OC-related 90% of the time, and out of that 90%, a good majority are OC x OC ships with a friend's OC or my partner's. I'd get nervous sharing them, and if there is a fandom ship, nine times out of ten they're OC x Fandom, another thing I keep on the down-low. Cringe culture scared me out of sharing any of it for a long time. But I will throw fear out of the window for today, and tell my top Fandom X OC with an explanation as to why.

Dark Link x OC: Link is the main character of The Legend of Zelda game series, and you can portray either yourself or a different personality into him. None are exactly "incorrect", as Link is a very flexible and versatile character, especially with responses you can choose towards NPCs in the modern Zelda games post-SNES era (i.e. Breath of the Wild, Wind Waker, Skyward Sword, etc.). Similarly, Dark Link would be treated with the same flexibility and versatility. This opened a lot of possibilities for me, and I loved both Link and Dark Link for this trait. My personal favorite interpretation is that Dark Link, being around for as long as Link was (more or less), remembers a lot of his hardships throughout the past incarnations, and he can either be just as vengeful as who created him in the first place, or make a change to become his own person, and either hating Link for even being a catalyst for his own existence, or learning to work with Link and help him save the day in his own way. With this kind of interpretation, I have wondered if a special someone in his life will help hit the nail in the coffin for either result, or even create a new problem where he is internally at war with himself to go with his ideal partner or continue on his current path. It is also a good writing practice for a lot of hurt/comfort friendship and/or romance writings, too, so there's a perk in that.

*~Books~*

Not sure if comic books or manga count, but I just got done with Volume 1 of Solo Leveling and I am in LOVE with it. I refuse to go into detailed explanation of the story for this in case someone wants to read it for themselves eventually (if you actually want details, I recommend finding someone that helps explain or reads the story to you, or even get the book yourself and give it a try), but I will say, this book is a visual inspiration. I love the colors, the action details, and everything feels flowy when winds are present, and just... so angle (affectionate). And when things feel dangerous, they feel dangerous. I got severely hooked and I hope to continue reading it.

*~Movies~*

Much like the friend that tagged me, I very rarely watch movies. If I do, I must watch it with friends. The one that very much so lives rent-free in my mind was recently watching Howl's Moving Castle with my college friend. This would be my second Studio Ghibli film (first one being Ponyo) and oh my god.

Oh my god.

Somehow, this gorgeous movie made me cry with the main character Sophie. I felt her emotions, understood her. This film made me feel like I was the character. I want to read the book it was based off of so bad. It really surprised me when I discovered it was a film from 2004. Everything is so clean in animation, the backgrounds, the animation for the moving castle itself, just... everything. Granted, I shouldn't expect anything less from a Studio Ghibli film, but it's still so phenomenal. I felt like this should have been my first film, since I felt so in-tune with it more than I did with Ponyo.

*~Cravings~*

I severely crave a good hurt/comfort RP. Life isn't always chaos and despair, and, inversely, life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. It could be lifetime enemies or rivals becoming best friends because they share a tragic past that taunts them and hurts them every single day. It could be complete pessimistic strangers on a long and painful journey that helped them teach them empathy, compassion, and love. It could be anything... so long as it shows one thing.

Healing. I love a theme of healing in my RPs. It's something I connect with as well, having been a person that has been hurt before, alongside with a lot of people. The pain lasts long, but, you heal.

... I also crave a good, fresh, medium rare steak.

*~Tags~*

@jessebizarreart @juan-o-clocks @jorgedrawssomethings @risty90

Get tagged, nerds, lol.

[toongrrl-blog]

My Style Analysis: Cyclical Iconic Fashion and a Missed Prom

Originally posted on Reddit

Anyone notice something about Devi's prom dress? Something retro?

The chiffon, long flowing dress, the neckline, the ruffles, the florals and pinks feel very retro. Like very 1970s (look I know per ShopYourTV that it's a recent find from Nordstrom's) maybe 70s does 30s...

In fact Devi's dress slightly reminded me of Marge Simpson's prom dress in "The Way We Was" which was set in 1974, 49 years before Nalini almost had a heart attack seeing her daughter and Ben in bed together (albeit with clothes on). It's all there: the pink, the apparently lightweight fabric (chiffon or rayon or polyester or a combination, that was a staple of the era), the ruffles around the neck. Marge's pink dress (surely from Gunne Sax, which was fondly remembered by Boomers and Gen Xers alike) and Homer's baby blue tuxedo were so iconic that they were made into figurines.

In fact Devi's dress falls into good company with some other examples I listed in a old post on Tumblr about this frilly, utterly feminine aesthetic in fact I want to show another Mad Men example and one from the 1930s period piece The Group (1966).

Every outfit looks so floaty here and these were promos for episodes set in 1970, thankfully our girls up there have much happier endings than the former Mrs. Drapers.

Here is your 1930s example with The Group, which focuses on graduates of a Seven Sisters college as they navigate adult life in Depression era America and the patriarchy (it's rough as hell). The brunette in black is future Lucille Bluth, the late Jessica Walter. Bonum est mulier.

Eleanor's look sort of reminds me of: Cher, Selena, and Liz Taylor. All very iconic women who followed their passions boldly and became icons without blindly following trends set for either fashion or for their gender.

(EDIT: Much better example)

As for Fabi? Well the tuxedo is pure androgyny. Calling to the OG ladies in a suit, Bessie Smith (EDIT: Gladys Bentley) and Marlene Dietrich and Annie Lennox

All these women flouted restrictions regarding gender expression admidst the jeers of conservatives, pearl-clutchers, white supremacists, Jim Crow, fatphobia, and one even told Hitler to go fuck himself (okay maybe not those words but you get the gist).

The red may be a call back to predominantly African-American men in the media donning a red suit, as noted in u/eve_salmon's "A Cinematic Guide to The Weekend Pt. 3", Rat Pack member Sammy Davis Jr. (known for a flashy yet very traditionally masculine sense of style) donned a red suit for the film Poor Devil, whom like Fabi, was Black and queer in an era that was even more racist and queerphobic than the present. We also see Richard Pryor (comedian for those not in the know) donning a red suit along with Joe Pesci in Goodfellas and Casino. The red is likely a sign of pure confidence and defiance, keep in mind that Pesci's characters and Pryor (as well as Davis) grew up in eras where looking a white person in the eye can get a Black person made past tense to use a TikTok phrase and where Italian Americans were still looked down upon, so dressing well and in a manner that commands attention was a act of resistance.

Both examples of Marginalized Men in Red Suits and Gender-Bending Women Looking Sharp-Dressed, speaks well to Fabiola's own development as a character and taking ownership of her identity in a world that tells you to be a laundry list of things to be acceptable (be girly, be outgoing, be into pop culture, be straight, listen to your parents, focus on what boys like, fade into the background, wear uncomfy formalwear that ain't you) and points for the series highlighting HBCUs as up there with the Ivies; where the Ivies represent mainstream power, the HBCUs represent how a community managed to carve their own space to let it's members thrive and accomplish more (also while Princeton waited until 1969 and Columbia until 1983 to accept women, Howard been doing that since it's founding!), what better place for Fabiola whose journey is about owning her sense of self?

What can Iconic Lady Joan Holloway say, well I can think of her Bonwit Teller shopping spree where she decides what to take with her fabulous black dress with ostritch feather cuffs: "I'll take the boots, the tan heels, the chiffon (in a cooing voice), the red (even more cooing), and this (to her flamboyant dress)", in other words, she approves.

[gremzon]

3, 10, 11, 21, and 23 for both Ranler and Swordtail :3 (maybe second favored weapon for Swordtail? since sword's already in his name lol) also 7 for Ranler specifically! (also add 11 to Ayumi lmao, i overlooked that qn the first time around)

(From this post)

3. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

I can't really choose which one is the "worse" for Hadeon, but his flaws are his stubbornness, his crazy anxiety and his fear for uncleanliness. These things definitely slow down things for him everyday. I guess he would be aware of them but he's too autistic he doesn't care even if it impacts him all the time, and he can't really help it.

For Swordtail, it definitely is his anger issues... And he's not aware that it is an issue. He's not even aware that he confuses all emotions for anger and doesn't know that being angry all the time isn't ideal for him and for others. I guess he's too full of toxic masculinity and thinks that being mad is the only valid emotion for him to have. He thinks that he's not allowed to ever "be weak" by showing anything else than aggressiveness and anger...

10. What's an AU that would be interesting to explore with your OC?

I have so many AUs with them... One I really liked was one where it's in the middle ages or something and Hadeon is an alchemist and Swordtail a knight.

There's also the monster college AU where they're both, well, monsters in a monster only college. Swordtail is a werewolf kind of thing (but turns into a literal wolf each night) and Hadeon is a Tatzelwurm (a snake-cat dragon kinda creature).

Not-really-an-AU-but-it-started-as-an-AU-and-is-now-canon is the Teacher AU. it started as a silly RP of what if they were teachers but I ended up making it canon. It's basically just the future, Hadeon loses his job and time machine, decides to get a new life and becomes a teacher. And since his time machine got fucked up, it made a whole mess in the timeline and Swordtail is now just a guy in the same era as Hadeon (aka the present) and he happens to also work in the same high school. Pretty neat

11. What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

Well yea, for Swordtail it would be his sword, as well as the knife-strapped-to-his-tail. He prefers fighting close, but he does have that gun, he just only uses it in case of emergency. He can control fire, he just doesn't know it yet but he's gonna find out in the future, and once he does he definitely would use it a bunch, especially to scare away enemies. And if it doesn't work, oops, seems like their clothes spontaneously combusted...

For Hadeon it's a little more complicated, he doesn't own a weapon. If he has time to prepare he would probably make some chemistry, like some kind of explosive, or even just something that smokes a bunch so he has time to hide. If he doesn't have a choice and gets jumped, he would use his sharp teeth and acid saliva, he's a wild beast he doesn't mind biting. Maybe his tail's prosthetic would help too? He did kill someone his mother with a shotgun a while ago, but he really dislikes guns.

21. Does your OC have any illnesses or disorders? How do they handle it?

23. What emotion is the hardest for your OC to process? How about express?

Already answered here and here respectively

7. What's one way your OC has changed since you first came up with them?

Oh Hadeon changed so so so much... I don't wanna show old art because I'm uncomfortable with that, it's so old that it was when I was new at drawing humans. First of all yea his name changed. He used to be a Onceler oc?? But also not really. It started as a joke with a friend of "lol, radioactive onceler?" And I just doodled the normal Onceler in class (was still at school damn.) some day and gave him ram horns. He used to be so ugly!!! He still had that ugly green coat and top hat, but slap some out of place horns and, 4 wings and 2 tails. His lore also used to be "boohoo bad guy makes a mess out of nuclear waste, kills people but only cares about money" but also I think there was something about him being the human form of pollution. Honestly I hate it so much!!! Then I changed his design to something a lot closer to what he is today, but with the same backstory... Can you believe he used to be a bad guy?! And I hated it!!! I never even saw him as a Onceler, I just wanted to be part of it (even tho everyone hated him and me, he used to have another ask blog, which I deleted cuz it was a side blog and not an account BUT ALSO because I got a bunch of hate anons, and that's why I left the onceler fandom till 2022. And then in 2023 I left the onceler fandom once and for all and finally deconcelrised him, something I've been wanting to do for YEARS. finally renamed him, and changed his lore for him to just be a silly little guy who is far from a bad guy, and far from being a greedy capitalist. And not too long ago I gave him a slight redesign and now I love him so so much!!! I'm so happy I got rid of the Onceler curse cuz trust me making a character only to please a fandom is awful, but now he's finally truly mine and I love him. I'm so glad I did that, especially since it's something I've been wanting to do for so long. He's finally free... I've never even seen him as a Onceler anyway, for me the old ranler has nothing to do with Hadeon, I don't see them as the same characters at all, and I really don't see Hadeon as a deconcelrised Ranler, he's just my oc who has nothing to do with the onceler.

11. (Ayumi) What is your OC's weapon of choice? Have they ever actually used it?

(thank you @ayumilunara again)

They don't use weapons that much. But if so, it's their bow. They like it alot to stay out of close combat. And if I need to think of a other weapon (that isn't in minecraft) her weapon of choice is probably a scythe. They think it's cool and it swings nicely