#I have been hyperfixing on him for like 10 months now

[chewysgummies]

Please understand how attached I am to him guys please-

[sunshine-on-marz]

Lost and found

Spencer Reid x Reader

In which Spencer almost loses the love of his life, literally and figuratively

TW: angst with a happy ending, criminal minds level depiction of violence, mentions of death, it takes a little to get to the actual plot but trust me it’s worth it, (tell me if i missed any)

Word count: 3.3K

To know Spencer Reid was to be absolutely enthralled by him. You were both 16 when you met, granted you were 16 in your junior year of highschool and he was 16 working on his 2nd PHD, but you were both 16 nonetheless.

It had taken some convincing to get a place in his life, not because he didn’t like you or your company, more because he was waiting for your ulterior motive to show itself, or for your patience to wear thin. It never did.

You knew vaguely about his mother, mostly through a news article you found from a few years back, talking about the prodigy like he was more of circus attraction then a 12 year old. It had mentioned that he also took care of his sick mother, and with his hyperfixation on finding a cure to schizophrenia, you’d connected the dots.

But you still didn’t want to assume.

“Hey Spence, why’re you so set on finding a cure?” You ask, gesturing to the 8th book on schizophrenia you’d seen him read in the 3 months you’ve known him.

“My mother” he says, closing the book and placing it infront of him. “Why do you ask?”

“Because I’m curious about what goes on in the mind of Spencer Reid” you smile “though, I’m sure you could tell me exactly what’s happening up there, down to the chemicals”, he laughs at that

“I could give you an idea” he says, you hover your hands over the book, he nods, you open it to the last page.

“508 pages, how long would that take you to read?” You ask

“A little under 10 minutes, if I had to guess, I don’t know how many words are on each page” he says

“Well I’m not counting so I guess we’re gonna have to stick with an estimate” you joke, he smiles again.

You sit in silence for a minute, just looking at each other, and the book. There’s a light tension, unasked questions float between you.

“Can I be invasive?” You ask, Spencer nods

“You usually don’t ask first” he smiles

“You suck” you reach to hit his arm, you don’t. “I won’t hit you before asking about your sick mother, actually”

“I appreciate that” he laughs “but what do you want to know?”

“What’s her name?” You ask, he seems a little shocked.

“Diana.”

“And you take care of her?” You already know the answer, but he’d never said it explicitly.

“Yea” he nods, he looks at you like he knows what you’ll ask next

“Well, tell me if there’s ever anything I can do to help. Her or you, I can’t imagine that’s an easy thing to do alone, props to you spence” you smile, and if someone saw his face right now, they’d assume you asked him- well not many questions would dumbfound Spencer Reid but that’s not the point.

“You’re not gonna ask if I hate it? Or if I want to put her in a home?” He asks, sounding more confused than you’d ever seen him

“Do you want me to ask that?” You counter.

“No.. not really” he looks at his hands, which are rubbing together. A nervous habit of his you’d picked up on rather quickly.

“Well then I won’t ask it” you smile, so does he.

It’s a week later when he tells you why he’d been so shocked that day.

You were on his front porch, about to meet his mother for the first time. He said she’d been having a good day, and though you weren’t exactly sure what that entailed, he said it with enough excitement that you decided to just ask later.

“When you first asked about my mom, you asked what her name was” he says, you nod.

“Thats usually my starting point, yea” you laugh softly “why, was that the wrong thing to ask?”

“No- no no no. It was the perfect thing to ask! I just- you were the first person to ask what her name was before you asked about what’s wrong with her” he says, and he looks sad, so you offer a hand. You know he’ll say no, but you don’t miss how he smiles everytime you offer.

“Wanna tell me about her? I never know what I’m walking into meeting my friends parents, I would’ve brought her flowers but I didn’t know what kind she liked” you say, and his smile goes from soft to wide and bright.

He is ineffably beautiful.

“She likes lilies” he smiles “and she’s really nice, when she’s, yknow” you just nod. And then he holds out his hand, you take it. And that’s the first time you ever touched Spencer Reid.

You met his mother that night, it was uneventful, but it was nice.

That’s a lot of your friendship with Spencer. Uneventful, but nice. More than nice, it’s wonderful. He’s wonderful. You’re there when he gets his first PHD at 17, you’re there when he has to put his mother into assisted living, you’re there when he gets the letter saying he’s been invited to the FBI academy, you even drive him to go meet Agent Gideon.

You see him off at the airport when he goes to Quanico.

And that’s the last time you see your best friend.

After a while weekly phone calls became monthly, and monthly became an occasional text on birthdays and holidays and informing the other of big achievements, but by his 3rd year as an agent, friendships were hard to maintain.

You’d accepted never seeing your friend again.

Spencer hoped he’d never see you again, because he knew he didn’t have the guts to reach out, and he knew that the only time his teammates seemed to see old friends was when they were a part of a case.

But he also knew you.

And he recognized your necklace the second he saw the pictures Penelope had on the screen.

“The second and third victims haven’t been found, but they’re believed dead” JJ says, Spencer barely hears it.

“I need air” is all he manages to say as he rushes out of the room. Derek went after him and caught him as he collapsed.

“Hey man, what’s goin on?” Derek asked him, holding onto Spencer’s shaking shoulders as he tries to stay upright.

“I can’t- she can’t- she can’t be dead” his words were barely audible and even less coherent.

“Do you know one of the victims?” Derek asked, and Spencer nodded.

He more than knew you, he’d held you while you cried, he’d slept in your bed the night his mom went into care, you were the only person there for him at his graduations, he’d helped you decorate your first apartment. You were so much more than someone he knew. And you were so much more than victim number 3.

“Spencer? Hello?” Derek’s hand waved infront of Spencer’s face as he zoned back into reality.

“Sorry” I he muttered as he started to stand up. He and Derek walked back into the briefing room, he doesn’t apologize for his outburst, he just sits and waits for Penelope and JJ to continue. They do.

“Well, 3 girls went missing in New York City within a span of a week. The reason we’re on this case is because they all worked for the same law firm”

Spencer takes a shuttering breath.

“The first victim, whose body was found dumped in a dumpster by a homeless man, was 56 year old Mrs. Shelly Kailee, a lawyer at Shelly and Dylan law firm, she was a co-owner along with her Husband Dylan. The two other victims, who are still currently missing, are Darleen Calvin, and Y/N L/N. Darleen is 28 and a practicing attorney at the same law firm, she’s only been practicing there for a few months after graduation from University of New York in January. Y/N is 25 and is working as a receptionist at the law firm while working on her law degree at Cornell. Both girls are reportedly very sociable and very kind, but from what we’ve been told, Y/N seemed to be more acquainted with everyone while Darleen seemed to just have a large group of friends. That’s the only information we have on them” JJ says. It seems everyone’s eyes drifted to Spencer, but his were dead set on your face on the projector. Smiling. You had the same smile. You were still wearing the same necklace you wore every day since he gave it to you at 18 when you graduated. You were still as beautiful as he remembered.

“She wouldn’t let anyone take her to a second location, not without a fight. We’re probably looking at a fairly athletic man, unless we find out that she sent someone her location. Then it’s probably someone charismatic, charming, played himself as a friend” he says, and everyone nods.

“You think she’d fall for that?” Morgan asks, he gets a few glares. But Spencer nods. “I think I saw her have a conversation with a homeless man once because she thought he might be lonely.” He says “so yes”. Hotch clears his throat “Spencer is there any possibility she’s.. changed since you knew her?”. Spencer shakes his head “we only really fell completely out of touch a few months back, she seemed pretty much the same the last time I called her, which was probably 6 months ago”

You could’ve cut the tension with a knife.

“Spencer I’m sorry-“ Emily says, he cuts her off.

“You can be sorry if we find a body” he says. And they get the message.

“Wheels up in 10” Hotch says.

Spencer works that case like a dog. There’s not a moment where he isn’t doing something to find you. Something to make sure you’re okay.

A few times, Derek had to pull him out of the police precinct, just so he’d get a couple hours of sleep.

He was beside himself.

Then the tapes showed up.

On the front steps of the police station, there was a box, with 4 tapes, each labeled with a date of the days you’d been missing, the most recent being from the day before.

The first started with a voice they later confirmed to be Shelly’s. A final message to her husband and kids. Tearful messages to each one about how much she loved them. And then a gunshot.

The second tape was worse. It was of you and Darleen. Spencer recognized your voice immediately, he could tell you were holding back tears. Darleen on the other hand was sobbing. You were both pleading for you life. You were a bit more composed, and he quickly recognized some of what you were saying as examples he’d said to you when talking about what usually does and doesn’t work on killers.

He never intended you to have to put those lessons to use.

And the selfish part of him wonders if you thought of him when you spoke.

The 3rd tape is the shortest. It’s just a gunshot and a scream. Your scream. He, for the first time in his life, sincerely hopes that you watched someone get killed.

The final tape is just you.

And it breaks him.

There’s a few seconds of silence before your voice starts.

“This is a message for Spencer Reid, and the rest of the FBI. My name is Y/N, and if you’re listening to this. I am dead.”

And his face falls.

“Spence, meeting you in highschool was the greatest thing I’ve ever done. And I love you, I love you so much Spencer. And I hope-“ the tape ends.

Spencer listens to that tape another dozen times.

The cops find Darleen’s body before lunch.

He doesn’t have it in him to care.

He listens to the tape again. And then it hits him.

You had never once said you met Spencer in highschool. You always, always made it a point to say that you were in highschool, but he wasn’t.

And it was currently summer, and the highschool was empty.

“Guys I know where she is-“

Hotch cut him off with a gentle hand on his shoulder. “Spencer she’s dead” he said, his voice wasn’t harsh, but it wasn’t gentle either. Spencer could’ve punched him.

“They’re at the highschool. Trust me” his voice was shaking, not with doubt, but with fear. Fear that both he and Hotch were right, and that in a couple hours he’d see you again under the worst possible circumstances.

But they went anyway.

He was zoned out most of the car ride, ignoring Derek’s questions of if he’s sure he can handle this.

For Spencer, it doesn’t matter if he thinks he can, because he has too.

He’s a few feet past the doorway when it really sinks in that he might leave the building again with your lifeless body in his arms. He pushes the thought aside. It felt like betrayal not to try and have hope, because for Spencer, you were hope incarnate. It would feel disrespectful to take that from you without asking first.

He heard it before anyone else did.

He all but ripped the door open, the local PD turning on their heels at his aggressive movements.

But there you were, in a chair, sobbing into your binds. He was infront of you in seconds, shouting for someone to cut the ropes holding your wrists and ankles as he removed the cloth from your mouth.

“You’re okay, you’re alright now, I’ve got you” his hands gently holding your cheeks as you leaned forward into his chest, your arms wrapping around his torso once they were cut free.

“I knew you’d come- I knew it. I told him but he said you wouldnt find me so- so in the tape- oh my god did he send you the tapes?” He cut off your manic rambling with soft shushing

“I know you knew, you always know, and yes we got the tapes. You did good, you did everything perfect. I understood.” He assured you, running his hands through your hair.

Emily came up to you and Spencer, putting her hand on his shoulder.

“Does she know where he is?” She asks.

He starts to speak, but you do it first. “Maybe the janitors closet? Or the bathroom? He- he made us scrub the floors, he was like- he was psychotic about it” you say, she nods and leaves the room, Spencer just tucks your head back under his chin.

“You’re doing so well” he whispers

“Spencer I want to leave” you cry

“Alright, alright. Let’s get you out of here” he says, slipping his arm under your knees and lifting you. You probably could’ve walked, but no one was shocked that he chose to carry you out.

He asked the EMTs more questions than your frazzled mind could even think of.

“Dr.Reid, she’s going to be fine. It’s cuts and bruises and maybe a few pulled muscles, she will be fine once she gets some fluids and a good meal in her system. “

He still didn’t believe it.

He didn’t believe it when the nurses told him the same thing, he didn’t believe it on the car ride back to the precinct after you were discharged, and he didn’t believe it when you sat next to him during your cognitive interview.

He’d fought Hotch about giving you one, but Hotch said that having a solid story will help make sure the man who did this is kept in prison for as long as possible, and you’d volunteered.

“You really dont have to” he says, you shake your head

“Spence i can handle it” you say

“Im not leaving your side.” He insists, you laugh a bit, which all but calms him down.

“I didnt think you would.” You offer your hand, and for the first time he accepts the invitation.

The interview makes you cry, which could’ve been predicted, but it still breaks Spencer’s heart.

After that he sets a semi-permanent ban on anyone asking you about what happened.

JJ brings you a change of clothes and you thank her profusely as she walks you to the bathroom and helps you wash your face and body as best as you can with wet paper towels.

Spencer anxiously waits outside.

“She’s with JJ, man. You can go outside and take a breather if you need” Derek offers.

“I’ll go outside and take a breather with Y/N when they’re done. Im sure this isnt where she wants to be right now.” Spencer says, Derek sighs.

“Spence, that girl might be one of the most well adjusted victims we’ve ever seen, she’ll be okay if you step away for 5 minutes-“ Spencer cuts him off

“I wont” he says “do you not get that? She’s well adjusted, Im not. I am not well adjusted to almost losing her and im not well adjusted to having her back so Derek would you please stop suggesting that I need space from her because space from her is the last thing I need right now” they stand in silence for a minute until you leave the bathroom.

“Spence? Everything okay?” JJ asks as she walks out of the bathroom after you, you quickly finding your place leaning against Spencer’s side.

“Yea we’re good” Derek answers for him, placing a firm hand on Spencer’s shoulder, and leaving with a small nod of understanding.

Spencer guides you outside.

He sits next to you on the bench outside the precinct, your head on his shoulder and his arm around you.

“Im really glad you picked up on that” you say

“Picked up on what?” He asks, his hand moving from next to you on the bench to your lap, resting on top of your own.

“The highschool thing, i honestly didnt know if he’d even send the tapes, kinnda figured he was making them for himself” you say, interlacing your fingers with his “but I figured it was worth a shot”

“It was smart” he says, squeezing your hand “took me awhile to realize”

“Did it?” You ask “and here i was thinking you were a genius. Spencer when have i ever skipped a chance to brag about you?” You smile at him, he shrugs.

“I was under a little stress” he says, pulling you closer.

“I know, im sorry I scared you”

“Dont apologize, this is not your fault. You have absolutely nothing to apologize for.” You just nod.

There’s silence for a while, it could’ve been hours, neither of you would’ve noticed, or minded.

“Do you want to move in with me?” He says it before he even realized he thought it, immediately looking just as shocked as you. “I am so sorry- i just- well i figured-“

“Spencer” you grab his hand. “We’ll talk about it” you say, and that seems to be the right answer as he wraps you into a hug.

“I just want to make sure you’re okay” he whispers, you nod.

“It doesn’t require moving in for us to stay in contact” you say

“But you’re so far” you just nod in response. “I dont want to lose you again” he whispers

“Spence you didnt lose me, im alright-” he stops you

“Thats not what i meant. Not entirely” he clarifies, you sigh and pull him into another long hug.

“My lease ends next month” you hum

“See you in Virginia next month?” He asks, you smile

“We’ll talk about it”

There’s never a conversation about if you’ll move in. Spencer just Venmo’s you (he got Garcia to teach him how) 300 bucks along with “plane ticket or take out dinner for a week” which makes you laugh, and it also makes you call him to ask approximately how much of your stuff would fit in his apartment, he says he’ll make as much space as you need.

A month later you show up to one of Rossi’s dinner parties hand in hand with Spencer, JJ hands Derek 20 bucks, and slowly, everything falls back into place.

(PS: Spencer makes sure you have everything you need to finish school online because he’ll be damned if you gave up your dreams for a man, even if he himself is that man.)

Remember to reblog with feedback!! Reblogs make the world go round and feedback helps artists keep creating!

This might be the longest fic ive ever written. This took 2 days and a few tears but finally it’s done. Im tagging the pookies bc Ykw i worked too hard not too @the-phantom-author @thesockbehindthewashingmachine @mariasont @st4rgzer @canonically-a-genloser

[ilovelyneysm07]

Shooting Stars - SAGAU!Lyney x Player Part 2

Summary: Shooting Stars were always a weird occurrence in the world of Teyvat, so when they suddenly stop, certain magician can't help but wonder if it has to do with the strange aching in his chest.

CW: Self Aware AU, NOT Cult AU or Creator AU, Angsty, the Reader is referred as Player, Based on my own Genshin Account, Pretty Self-Indulgent, GN!Player, Cross-posted on AO3, English is not my first language and I'm not an experienced writer

A/N: Heyy, I'm so sorry for the long wait! My hyperfixation on Genshin just died when I got Lyney and I didn't have the motivation to continue this, but I finally got myself to write this. Also, I'm really sorry if this is bad, I got sick last week and I'm getting out of it rn.

Taglist: @crazed-flower @yurislilygarden @yurislotusgarden

The day is finally here, after five months of arduous saving and skipping characters (it was hard), Lyney's first rerun finally sees the light of day. The Player, who’s been waiting patiently for the maintenance to end, opens the game as fast as they could, feeling their heart beat in their throat.

Three hundred and twenty seven wishes. All for that magician they love so much. Oh, how much they regret being inactive from the game when his banner came out. They can only wish that they get him now… and his weapon if they’re lucky enough.

It’s kind of funny how they had to contain themselves from pulling for anyone else (except for Furina, they only pulled because she looked pretty at the moment), it didn't matter if all the new characters powercrept Lyney or if they were better in terms of DPS, for the Player, he was everything they needed, everything they wanted. They just wanted that cat-themed magician in their party and their account.

Seeing the Geo logo finally load, they rush to finish their dailies and change their team to the duo, Freminet and Lynette, and rush towards the Opera Epiclese. It felt like a dream, but the way they felt the keyboard under their fingers told them otherwise. This is pretty much real.

After reaching the designated “wishing spot”, they opened the wishing menu, seeing his splash art alongside the chosen four stars, happy that they can at least get constellations for them. The Player took a deep breath and pressed the “10 pull” button.

—

Lyney was looking at the ceiling in his room, the ache in his chest suddenly feeling harder… painfully so. He sat down in his bed, feeling how the sheets moved due to his weight. The magician sighed, running his hand through his ashy blonde hair while his head was strangely silent, no thoughts, nothing. 

After a failed investigation into the phenomenon of strange falling stars, Lyney was beyond desperate, no one seemed familiar with the ache the magician felt in his chest, even some people looked at him weird, like he was crazy.

Why is it only with him?

Lyney's gaze returned to the ceiling, the zero hope he felt about a possible explanation seemed to fade with each passing second. Was it only his imagination? Was he going insane? It's been five months since those shooting stars last fell, maybe it's time to-

*WAM*

Lyney stood up immediately at the sudden sound that came from outside, quickly dressing up (somehow) and grabbing his bow, he walked outside to see what’s going on and-

The shooting stars were back. The colors returned to the sky and made it pretty again, a purple star falling directly in the Opera Epiclese as he looked in awe. The pain in his chest was getting even more heavy, but he ignored it, lost in the colors of those shooting stars.

Thinking it was over when the purple star fell, another wave came right after, and then another, and another. And another. It became a full shooting star shower, that never happened before

It’s been at least eight or more purple stars when a golden one falls. Its shine lit up all of Fontaine, as the people exited their houses to see the show happening in the blanket of the night. Lyney looked at the golden star with anticipation, while it became bigger and bigger as it fell closer.

Only for it to continue falling towards… Sumeru?

—

The Player stares at their screen in disbelief.

Reached 79 pity only to lose it to Dehya… They sigh in frustration while closing the results of the pull, they still have a lot of wishes left, and now with a guarantee, it will be a lot easier… right?

They sigh again as their friend laughs at their misery on the discord call, deciding to continue the wishing session.

“He will come home, whether he likes it or not…” they mutter to themselves, already feeling pissed off.

—

Lyney thought the shooting stars were over until even more fell from the sky, this time more… fast, than before. Like they were in a rush.

He looked at the purple ones as some fall in the Opera Epiclese and the others go all the way to what appears to be Liyue.

He was starting to get anxious as he then became aware of the pain in his chest again. He felt a pull, like someone was calling for something, calling for him.

And suddenly, another golden star fell from the sky. And instead of going to Sumeru, it was falling dangerously close to him.

Wait, was it falling towards him?!

His body stayed frozen in place as the star fell on him. A golden aura engulfed his entire body and his feet felt light, and… a strange voice appeared on his head.

“Fucking finally, dude. You took your sweet ass time.”

That… was new.

He opened his eyes when the light disappeared, and he found Lynette and Freminet looking at him with a smile. Lyney then realized he was in the Opera Epiclese.

“Wha- how did I-” Lyney muttered, confused at the sudden change in scenery.

“Welcome home, brother. We’ve been waiting for you.” Lynette said with a small smile, the purple aura around her not going unnoticed for Lyney.

“Home? What are you talking about? What is going on?” To say the magician was confused was an understatement. He was beyond lost.

“Uhm, it’s hard to explain but… you’ll understand sooner or later.” Freminet said with a nervous smile and he had Pers in his hands, the little penguin making sounds of joy.

Lyney didn’t know how to react to the confusing sentences his siblings were saying. Or why the world looked so different, so 3D… so- fake. Has the world always looked like that? And what are those numbers in his siblings' heads? Level 40 and Level 80? What in the world does that mean?

“He looks so confused… Do you think he’ll be okay?” Freminet whispered towards Lynette, who was pretty worried for her brother.

“I don’t know… he doesn’t seem to be taking it well.” she says back, and she hears the sounds from the player in her head.

“Aquila Favonia?! Are you serious?! I already have it R2- This banner fucking sucks!”

They must be pulling for Lyney’s weapon, it seems, and it also seems that they’re not doing so well. Lynette sighed when she noticed Lyney’s bewildered expression at the loud voice, before putting a hand on Lyney's shoulder.

“Listen, things might look a little confusing right now, but everything will be okay. The Player is someone really caring and nice, and they really like you.” Lynette says with a calm tone, but also a lot of reassurance. “Why did you think there were no shooting stars in five months? Because they wanted you.”

Lyney looked at her in shock, still processing everything. This.. “Player”, as Lynette called them, was the one behind the shooting stars apparently, and they… wanted him? Really-

“I hate this game, I’m never saving up for another character ever again. Fuck you, Lyney.”

Oh.

“They’re always like this, don’t pay them any mind.” Lynette says with a small frown before sighing again. “It seems their wishing session is over, you should feel some changes in a bit.”

“What changes-”

Before Lyney could process anything, the world around him changed again, the walls (or what he assumed were walls) around him became red, with some fire coming out of the floor, where did Lynette and Freminet go?!

Before he could feel even more confused, he saw them… a person was looking at him and pressing some buttons on what appears to be a… keyboard of sorts.

“If it didn’t take me more than 200 wishes to get you, I’d be happier.” they say with a serious expression but a tired smile slowly creeps in, and he feels himself getting stronger… somehow.

What is this person? And why does he feel so strange when he looks at them?

Even with their tired expression and dark room, he could see affection in their eyes. Affection for him. He remembers Lynette’s words about this “Player” liking him and wanting him for a long time. Was this person the so-called “Player” Lynette was talking about?

If so, then he might consider himself lucky to be favored by this really pretty Player.

“Yeah, I have everything ready to just Level him up and his weapon straight to 90, it did take me a while to get all of the Rainbow Roses though…” they say practically to no one in Lyney’s point of view. Were they not alone in that dark room? Or were they talking to someone via real magic?

Wait, Rainbow Roses? For him?!

Were they collecting Rainbow Roses for him?

The more he thought about it, the more flustered he felt. This person was collecting Rainbow Roses and… materials (he doesn’t know what that means) for him. For this moment alone.

“Hey, is it normal for Lyney to have this idle animation?” they asked when Lyney suddenly grabbed his hat to cover his face a little. He could hear them laugh a little. “That’s so cute, though! Look at him!”

Oh God.

—

[Little Extra]

“I still have a few wishes left, might as well get Lynette C6 since I’m at it.” Lyney hears them while fighting some Hilichurls alongside other people, Kaedehara Kazuha, a wanderer from Inazuma, Bennett, an adventurer from Mondstadt and, surprisingly, Miss Furina. What a strange bunch, Lyney thought.

While the Player made their sudden wishing session, Lyney sat down on a nearby rock. It’s been 30 minutes since he’s been pulled into this weird situation and he’s still processing everything. Heck, it feels even weirder to be in the same “party” as the former Hydro Archon. Was this even allowed? He's not sure himself, but he’ll just go along with everything this strange person does for the time being, Freminet and Lynette seem to trust them, so he might as well give it a shot-

“What the fuck?!” Lyney was startled when the Player suddenly screamed, he looked up and saw a sudden golden star fall on him.

He felt a burning pain in his right arm, he pulled up his sleeve to see a strange pattern in his skin. C1? What does that mean?

He remembers hearing the Player say something about “Lynette’s C6”, but he has no idea what any of that even means.

“Constellation.” He hears Kazuha say by his side, a calm expression on his face. “It means Constellation. When the Player gets lucky and the stars fall on one of us again, our “Constellation” increases. C6 being the highest.” Kazuha explains, although it’s just what he heard. “For example, me and Miss Furina are C0 since the shooting star only fell on us once. Bennett over there is C4 since the shooting star fell on him 5 times.”

“I see…” Lyney says with a smile. “Well thank you-”

“No fucking way!” he gets startled again by the scream. And before he could react, another golden star falls on him, and the pattern changes to C2.

Kazuha looks at him with a smile. “Wow, signature weapon, C2… you really are the Player’s favorite!”

Lyney just laughs, his cheeks a bit red. “Oh come on, they don’t love me that much-”

“I love you so much, Lyney! I’m so sorry I said otherwise!” Lyney gets even more flustered at that, making Kazuha laugh even more.

This was certainly a weird experience, but… it felt good.

[genericpuff]

Thoughts on Epic the musical?

It's pretty good so far! I'm still a sucker for Hadestown over everything else but uh, funny story, actually...

So recently my husband and I had to make a trip out of town to pick up a marketplace item. Basically an hour drive there, an hour back, fun little afternoon trip. And while we were driving, I made a joke about how he shouldn't "sass me" because I'm in charge of the music and I could, y'know, force us to listen to musicals for the entire trip.

In all my hubris, I forgot that my husband likes musicals. He really likes musicals.

So when he called "bet" I was like "welp shit... guess I'll put on Epic because at least I haven't listened to it a million times like I have already with Hadestown."

Y'all. That was like... three weeks ago? Going on a month? He is obsessed with Epic now. He has been listening to it on repeat, watching the animatics, gushing about the plot threads and character development, and he was the first one to tell me "hey the next part of Epic is up, please go listen to it so we can talk about it!!!"

So yeah, Epic is great and while it's not my personal favorite, it's definitely struck a chord with him 😆 And that makes me really happy to see ngl because he tends to get stuck in ruts a lot with the media he consumes, new and exciting things are hard to come by for him (plus we're both judgy bitches so it's also a matter of finding stuff that actually delivers on the hype LOL), so when he DOES find something he connects with so deeply, it just... idk it makes me happy to see him happy :' ) <3 He's up to his neck in the thrill of a shiny new hyperfixation (•̀ᴗ•́)و

So yeah, Epic is very good so far, if you haven't listened to it yet you should definitely check it out (just note that it's an ongoing project so get used to cliffhangers LMAO) and if you don't believe me, believe my husband who's way smarter about musicals than I am, he's given it his 10/10 stamp of approval and that's a pretty big honor ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

[ysabelmystic]

“I just came from r/196” ask game

Saw another post. I think I should invite y'all to one of our longstanding traditions. Answer the questions then tag 10 (or more) people. I'll go first.

Name? Frankie

Pronouns and gender? he/they/it, transmasc

Sexuality? Lesbian

Country? USA

Top 5 fandoms? Bungou Stray Dogs, Cosmere, All for the Game, Fundiesnark (not a series but I'm too deep in it to not consider it a fandom), .....the tornado fandom? (they're my special interest)

What is your Most forbidden snack? The preserved bones at the Atlanta Bodies Exhibition. They looked so crunchy...

Would you pet a bug? If it's big enough, it is pettable.

Share a weird fact/story about yourself with the class. I like to drive around rural areas and photograph old, sometimes abandoned locations in the dead of night. I have been literally chased out of towns by foot and by car on two separate occasions. The second time this happened, "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus came up on shuffle and that's the soundtrack my friend and I tore out of town to. Also every "guy" I've dated except for my most recent ex (who has big egg energy) is a lesbian now.

What does the color blue taste like? Creme brulee

What is the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? The appalachian mountains of Tennessee in the middle of summer. There's kudzu everywhere. On the backroads, there were several old, dilapidated Baptist churches barely hanging to the side of the mountain. I wonder how many of them were still in use.

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Short version: my friend's house almost got broken into by this dude who'd been stalking us for months while we were home alone. Instead of calling the cops, we decided to confront him with a bow and arrow (me), a hatchet, and a baseball bat (him). The plan was that if it went badly, we would simply throw his corpse into one of the many lakes in the neighborhood and let the alligators eat his remains (this was Florida). Why? Because we were afraid of having our home-alone privileges revoked. Luckily for us all, the guy fucked off and we never saw him again.

Stupidest thing you've seen/heard someone else do/say? My ex thought that Jackalopes were real. Also, a nurse I was doing rotations with apparently thought that "Witness Protection" was for Jehovah's Witnesses.

Hyperfixation song? Young Enough + Bleach by Charly Bliss

Is there any meaning behind your profile picture and/or username? Profile pic; I'm transmasc and I'm currently obsessed with TriStamp. Username; It was my fake internet name when I was like 13. I won't change it because I want my mutuals to recognize me, and because I do have a viral post associated with this name.

Dream career as a child? Doctor (funnily enough I'm now in nursing school)

Dream career as an adult? Professional Jester. Not a comedian. I just want to be some weird little guy who dresses silly and you can hire me to roast your boss at work parties.

Thoughts on cilantro? Delicious

Have you ever been banned from a location and if so, why? I honestly can't remember? Probably... but in recent memory I've mainly banned people from places.

What is your cursed food combination? Pineapple on a hotdog with grilled onions. It Slaps.

Trans rights? TRANS RIGHTS

Tagging: @rocket-mankoi @mostlymarco @atleast8courics @jazzlike39 @gemsweater72 @limbobilbo @ameliaaltare @redcrane112 @theoneofwhomisblue @twinkenjoyer @theultimatecarp and anyone else who wants to jump on

[rnp5324]

Tell me about your wolverine headcanons NOW 🙏🔥💥

HEE HEE HEE....HAHAHAHAHAHA I've got plenty (Some of these apply to my Logan too) ════ ⋆★⋆ ════ 1. Due to his time under Weapon X, Logan still contains some robotic mannerisms, especially when scanning for nearby threats. I like to imagine his face becoming stiff and expressionless, while his head rotates like a wall mounted security camera; He does it unconsciously. 2. He likes to cuss people out in different languages under his breath. I mean, the man knows like what, 18? He'll find one that somebody doesn't know in case they hear him. I also envision him using his knowledge for different code words he'd teach his teammates to give them special commands, def stems from his military work. 3. Logan likes to listen to Oldies, and Rock/Metal. It's an...interesting blend. Depends on his mood, really. He doesn't mind a nice classical jazz to wind down after a long days of work o spending time with his partners, otherwise Metal has been a healthier way to vent out his frustrations. 4. Absolutely has some animalistic quirks. Like, he purrs when he's close to his partner. He growls, snarls, roars, the whole package. He shakes like a wet dog. He cocks his head to his shoulder when he's confused about something (also like a dog (I have a bias)). He absolutely runs on all 4s in battles/climbing. Yes, he bites, and not in the hickey way. If you ask him to bite your neck, he will take a chunk with him. 5. Despite being totally left brained, he knows how to do calligraphy for meditation (something he picked up more frequently from Kikyo). He can also be kinda poetic when he feels like it, his penmanship is surprisingly good and he can write in cursive when he's focused. He's not wrong when he says he's an art teacher!! 6. Logan's sense of humor can get really grotesque. This is most likely due to his desensitization towards violence, which unfortunately, freaks most people out. A chunk of his humor is usually derived at his own expense. 7. He's always known he's Bi, he just doesn't bother telling anyone about it unless they ask. Logan thinks in the grand scheme of things, saving the world from threats is more important than who he shares a room with. 8. I made a poll about this, but I believe Logan has some type of Neurodivergence (I have AUDHD lemme cook). He def struggles with PTSD from, well, a lot of things in his life. I also like to think he has some sort of ADHD? Not just for having hyperfixations for Japan, Military machinery/weapons, animals, etc., but also the mood swing aspect of it too; Maybe it's just me, but I find Logan's angry impulse kinda relatable to my experiences? Also how he frequently forgets things. Just like me fr.... 9. Logan's body is able to insulate himself from extremely cold weather, due to his Mutation being based off of a Wolverine. This...also makes him hot easily during the warmer months of the year, and he much prefers the cold. He'll ask storm for a little snow cloud over his head every once and awhile. 10. Being so old, Logan uses a wide variety of slang from all sorts of time periods, which he has to explain to his teammates a lot so it can get pretty annoying. This also extends to his game, his old time flirts can be kind of confusing to their meaning, therefor not landing too well most of the time. 11. Despite being a grouchy old man, he is an anxious sweetheart!! Logan will pour his heart out on the people he loves, but the anxiety comes with how almost all of his relationships historically end in either tragedy or in a horrific fallout, meaning he's rather hesitant to getting into a relationship right away.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

TYSM for the ask!! ^^ omg I wish people would send me more of these, I absolutely love doing them!!!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA FOR KISSING MY ROOMMATE GOODNIGHT?

(everyone is in their 20s. names are fake)

I’d like to start off by giving background, I(M) live with my roommate Salt. We’ve been living together for a couple of years now and met through mutual friends.

I’m straight. Salt is gay in a very open, stereotypical sense(yk flamboyant, effeminate etc) and I’m not saying this to judge him/say I resent him or something he’s a dear friend of mine and I couldn’t care less abt his sexuality or how he chooses to express himself. However it’s important to mention this for the sake of AITA

The actual ‘issue’ started a year ago, where we were both drunk coming home from a party, I was struggling to get my keys out so he called me a idiot and then just.. kissed me??

That caused me to question my sexuality for a while because being a straight man you’d think I’d be repulsed or bothered by it but no I didn’t really enjoy it(not like there was smth to enjoy it was like a couple of seconds) but didn’t really mind it either in fact it didn’t made me feel any different than how I’d feel kissing a random girl I suppose?

So yeah I experimented with my sexuality for a week or so and even almost hooked up with some guy but nope. Still straight. Just didn’t mind him(probably because of how close we are)

Anyways back to the point after that Salt avoided me for a while but in the end we did have a talk which was basically him saying he was not attracted to me, how it was a spur of the moment thing and also apologizing if he made me uncomfortable.

To that I told him he did not and joked about how he could do it again.

Fast forward a month(?) later the ���kissing the homies goodnight” meme came out, so one time I asked him where was my goodnight kiss was at and he actually did it, after that we just continued doing that ig I don’t think none of us thought much of it other than some night time ritual.

Here comes the actual AITA part, I recently got a girlfriend(we’ll call her Pepper). I’ts not like I’m super in love with her but she’s a nice girl and I genuinely like her so I wish to keep her happy.

The issue with Pepper is that she talks a tad bit too much, I normally wouldn’t mind it as I’m on the quiet part, but she expects me to memorize everything she has told me(not in the “do you remember my friend” type of way in the she tells me about 10 different people and gets upset when I don’t remember their exes names or what did friend7 did on lunch a month ago type of way) she also has a tendency to hyperfixate on shows and talk about the plot & characters as if they’re actual real people which makes it hard for me to understand if something she says is about a show or real. She gets really upset if I forget even the smallest things about those stories and rants about how I never listen to her. I tried talking to her about this but it only ends with her crying so I just keep shut to keep her satisfied

A week ago I was having a really bad day of migraines and nothing seemed to help but me and Pepper had made plans to hang in my place and I didn’t want to cancel. She comes over and starts talking about her sister in life’s brunch. I ask her if she could slow down a bit cause my head hurts and I can’t really keep up.

Well she takes it the wrong way and starts yelling at me about how I always am like this and how I never listen to her. I admit I’m the asshole for saying this, but I ask her if she’s unable to sit down and have a conversation like an adult. This makes her calm down a bit and she sits down so we can discuss.

I try explaining to her how it’s unfair how she expects me to remember everything and I’d be more than happy to listen to her, maybe just slow down a bit?

In mid of it she has this weird smile on her face and tells me I look hot mad, she then leans over to kiss me which I pull away from because it feels like she’s just trying to change a topic and I think this is an important convo for our relationship.

This is the moment Salt decides to arrive at home(I should also mention he’s TERRIBLE at reading the room) he comes over gives me my goodnight kiss and leaves.

(I would like to add its not like we make out or something. He just gives me a peck on the lips, says goodnight and leaves)

This drives Pepper crazy. She starts shouting at me on how I’d not kiss her but him? And that I could go ride his dick if I’m that gay for him. She storms out of the apartment

I’d like to add that Pepper has never said anything about me and Salt. I never told her about the goodnight kiss(Because I mean who goes to their girlfriend like “hey btw I kiss my roommate at nights. but no homo”?) but we never hide it either in fact I’m pretty sure we did that while she was in room once or twice too. Pepper has made jokes about us being gay and how she feels bad about getting inbetween us but never anything on being uncomfortable or not liking it.

Now it’s been a week and we haven’t talked since. She is not answering my messages and I stopped trying to contact her from there but I’m starting to doubt myself, am I the asshole here? Should I go apologize?

What are these acronyms?

[sideprince]

I’d love to hear your answer to #2, #16, and #18 of the Snape asks! :)

2. How old were you when you decided you loved this unwashed man? What’s the story, child?

I was in high school and Going Through It. I was really ready to get out of my parents' house and be an adult, and I was dealing with a lot of tough things and basically ready for a new escapist hyperfixation (though I probably wouldn't have put it like that at the time). I found him intriguingly complex and the main reason I kept reading the books was to find out more about him - what his story was, why he was doing what he was doing, etc. I didn't doubt his motivations were ultimately in service of defeating Voldemort (because I know how to read and can spot basic literary elements like foreshadowing and characters who are foils), but it was clear there was a lot to this guy. I think there must also have been a kind of loneliness and ambitious determination in how he was written that I identified with. He was absorbing enough to be a good distraction from my life and I really needed it at the time. Still do sometimes.

16. What do you headcanon about his relationship with his parents?

I don't think his relationship with his dad was great (thank you, thank you, you can put my Understatement of the Year Award in the mail). When Snape was a very small child, he probably wanted his dad's approval and didn't understand what he kept doing wrong when his dad lashed out and grew increasingly abusive. Back then the abuse was probably more comprised of a lack of attention, shouting, and maybe a smack or two. As he got older I imagine he started feeling that need for attention and approval less and less, or rather, that it got more murky under layers of resentment and fear and pain and anger. The taller he got (ie. less physically vulnerable) and the more distance he got what with being gone most of the year, and the more his sarcastic, snarky personality came out, (and the more confident he got with his magical skills that his dad couldn't touch or take away from him), the more he must have talked back to his dad and challenged him. Rowling has said something about his dad having whipped him with a belt, and I can imagine that being a way for his dad to assert himself against a son who had skills he himself never would, and who hated him. We see this attitude in the Dursleys as well, thinking they could abuse the magic out of Harry. So yeah, I can see Snape's dad going at him with a belt, shouting about "where's your precious magic now, boy?" I can also see Snape's magic - like most underage wizards' - getting away from him in a moment like that and throwing his dad off or undermining him in some way that made it impossible for him to continue in that moment and probably unwilling to try again.

He probably had a better relationship with his mom, or at least a more complex one. They had magic in common, and must have been somewhat close at some point because I don't know who else would have told him so many details about Hogwarts when he was a kid. The amount he knew about the school - and the magical world in general - indicates that she talked about it with him at length and probably on a number of occasions. As he got older and his relationship with his dad got worse, his mom was probably in the middle, not wanting to compromise her relationship with either of them. If Snape was like any other angsty teen, then at that age he probably would have lashed out at her and resented her for letting his dad treat both of them the way he did. There was probably rough period for them where his teenage need to push his parents away coincided with the natural distance that would grow between a parent and a child who spent 10 months of the year away at boarding school. When he got older, though, he probably would have had more sympathy and started to understand that she knew his dad as a very different person than he did and had her own relationship with him. It's also possible that as his intellect continued to blossom despite everything else he had to deal with at school, it changed his relationship with his mom. The dynamic was no longer that she was a source of knowledge for him, but that he knew and understood more than she ever had and maybe he looked down on her, or at least pitied her, for what he might have seen as her limitations.

18. What’s an aspect of his character you wish more people would explore?

He isn't just intelligent, he's an incredibly good judge of character. If you set aside his skewed impression of Harry, he's someone who understands profoundly well what makes people tick and how they think. He's a great spy because he understands how Voldemort thinks and operates, as well as all the Death Eaters around him. It makes sense - someone who's a great occlumens would, through that kind of insight, learn how to put himself in someone else's shoes without having to read their thoughts. When he talks to Harry about what legilimency is, that the mind is not a book to be read at leisure, he reveals a complex and nuanced understanding of the way you have to be able to interpret and understand someone's thoughts. What he's really saying is that it isn't enough to see what someone is thinking, you have to be able to understand its context and what that thought means to that person if you have a good sense of them. This requires incredible intelligence, empathy, and judgment of character.

I think it's also why he speaks so tersely and reveals so little about himself, except for the occasional feral moment when he's triggered and unable to maintain that control. It's not just because he doesn't want to compromise himself by speaking too much, or that he knows the more verbose he is the more he gives away about himself. He thinks more than he speaks and so he speaks very little because he's busy listening to others and to his own brain whirring away at a thousand miles a minute.

(This is also why I get a bit tired of the take that Snape is a Feral Man and that Alan Rickman's portrayal has nothing to do with Book!Snape. It's an integral part of his character that he observes much more than he speaks, and most of the time he's described in the books as someone whose behavior is controlled. His expression is consistently described as "unreadable" "unfathomable" etc. The angrier he gets, the more quiet his voice gets - as you know, given your absolutely brilliant amazing Snape Speaks post!

He's feral only when he's triggered, and we only see him act that way in rare and vulnerable moments, and those moments are compelling exactly because this isn't his usual self, but rather his primal, unchecked self. He's portrayed as a person who put a lot of effort into controlling and overcoming that primal self and would fall apart if it was his constant state of being. There's an inseparable link between the guilt that drives him and his need to control his emotions. The whole Feral Man take ignores exactly the aspect of his character that I love so much, that he observes more than he acts, and is a great judge of character. And I think there's a lot to interpret in how his eyes are described more often than any other character's, except maybe Harry -- again, because he uses his eyes more than his body or his voice.)

[tea-and-secrets]

I feel horrible about this, but it's escalated to a point where this issue could destroy my life if I don't find a way to stop doing it.

So, for some reason, I get these really intense, obsessive, really disturbing fascinations with people. There's no pattern to them, no specific personality type or anything that sets it off, and I have never had more than one or maybe two per year, although they don't usually last more than a few (3-5) months. They're NOT hyperfixations. I've been hyperfixated on people before. For me, it never lasts more than 2 months (usually FAR less) and is entirely platonic, not at all violent or distressing, and doesn't make me upset in any way. I've had hyperfixations and an obsession at the same time, once I had an obsession and hyperfixated on each of his main friends within a 3 month span rapid fire style.

These obsessive feelings are like. Needing to talk to them, intrusive thoughts about hurting them, wanting to find them IRL (even if they live states away), to show up where they are, to call them at ofd hours, constantly imagining a future together, and they're always very romantic/explicit in nature. They make me feel physically ill from how gross they are. They're like nonstop intrusive thoughts of a relationship, but with this intense desire to constantly act on them and a need to be around the person all the time. And not being close to the person makes the intrusive thoughts worse.

It has never happened with someone I have actual romantic attraction to, but it happens even if I don't know them in person or we never met IRL. Usually after they fade I feel ambivalent or cold or just vaguely normal about the person. So basically after a few months of agony it sorts out and I am free usually for 8-10 months. I've never dated someone I have an obsession with. I understand them enoughto know they wouldn't mimic intrusive thoughts if they were genuinely romantic feelings. Plus, they don't last. They always fade eventually and honestly, they seriously freak me out. I don't want to have murderous intrusive thoughts when someone doesn't pick up a Skype call. That's not my idea of romantic.

Usually, I just wait for these feelings to pass, or limit contact with the person, but this time. It's so much worse.

The person is my friend, and way too young for me. He's not a minor, he's just to young for me (4 years younger, its my personal thing). He's taken, not my type, and I've always seen him as a pesky younger brother of sorts, so I never even considered this would happen. Having these feelings about him makes me feel violently ill. I've tried ignoring him and pushing him away until they stopped, but he noticed and I feel guilty punishing him for a problem that's only in my head. It isn't his fault there's something wrong with me. But I dont know what to do. If I told him about it, I'm worried he might think I like him (I don't think I do, I know how my obsessions are and it isn't love) and based on comments he's made, I'm worried he might actually try to rope me into a polycule or shoot his shot with me. Neither of those would be good places for my mental state.

I also really don't want our other friends to hear about this because I have a crush on one friend who's way older than me (we're both adults but we would NOT have gone to high school together ha ha) and I still want to hold out hope that in a few years she might see me as a viable partner (a bi can dream...) which would be jeopardized if she knew I'm basically a freak of nature.

So I need to figure out how to fix this part of me, FAST. I can't keep doing this and I'm scared things will fall apart or I'll lose it trying to fix this but I'm scared of losing everything.

I wish I could just have been born normal but I wasn't and now I have to fix it. It doesn't feel fair, and I hate it, but I want to be normal and not have to deal with this anymore. I want to just be okay, and I don't know how. I just know that normal people don't do this and this scares me. I don't want to hurt people, I don't want to be like this, and I don't know how to fix it, so I just suffered in silence for years. And now I have to fix it and don't know where to start. I just needed to tell someone about it.

.

[alexwilltellyouthings]

Entirely self indulgent rating post about the top 10 TV shows that made me fucking insane for some reason

10. Sense8

God, this was so good. Such a blessing. I saw part of the cast during a Pride Parade and it's one of my favorite memories. I felt every possible emotion with this show, I love it.

9. The Last of Us

This is kind of a cheat, because the obsession comes from the games, but it is what it is. It's one of the few games that had a big impact on me and I closely relate it to my relationship with my dad. Can't wait to cry my heart out at season 2.

8. Good Omens

It's a given, isn't it? That stupid angel with his stupid demon and their stupid God. GRRRAAWW. A lot of thoughts and feelings came from the fandom, I have to point out. It's been very nice.

7. The Umbrella Academy

I have the first issue of the comics autographed by Gerard Way!! I mean, yes, it's because I'm a MCR fan, but it became even more precious after I got into the show. I'm rewatching right now, preparing for the last season. I'll be a mess when I say goodbye to them. Can't even really think about it too hard or I'll cry right now.

Continues under the cut

6. Our Flag Means Death

LISTEN THIS CHANGED EVERYTHING TO ME. What do you mean we can have a show THIS queer? It's all I want now. I ate it up. I smiled so much. I wanted this so badly and had no idea.

5. Interview with the Vampire

Feels like it should be top 3 honestly but I'll get there. This is also a cheat, I've been reading the Vampire Chronicles since I was like 15. Growing up with Anne Rice probably messed me up but hey at least I have great taste. And seeing them on screen? The way they made it BETTER? And Lestat?? Who has been haunting me for 15 years on and off??? And the second season and their reunion and and and?????????? I'm STILL insane about them and will be forever, I'm afraid.

4. Doctor Who

Listen. Listen. Okay. Yeah. What can I say? If you get into it, you're doomed. And I have been doomed for 10 years at least. I stopped watching for a while and got back last year, and it hit me all over again. I love this dumbass genius alien in a way that's calm, even. Just a permanent part of who I am now.

3. The Untamed

The year was 2022, it had been a while since I had a proper fixation and I didn't think it would happen with this danmei live-action, but then came Wei Wuxian. Guys, if I tell you I fell in love. Couldn't stop thinking about him. Everyday I was plagued by his smile and red ribbon and tragic backstory, yadayadayada. I really like other characters too, and their stories, but WWX did something to me that I still don't quite understand.

2. Queer as Folk (US)

This was a looong time ago and it didn't really persist over time like the others, but it was my first actual obsession. I was clinically insane over these gays. I had no one to talk to about them, so for every episode I wrote several pages of notes to comment to my (only) friend at school the next day, the poor thing. It was pretty much all I talked about because I spent EVERY MINUTE we had to talk going over the notes and explaining the episode. Like, between classes, during breaks, everything. Months of that. She held on firmly because she was a good friend, but I'm aware it must've been terrible. Like I said, insane.

1. Dead Boy Detectives

Maybe I'm putting this up here because it's my current hyperfixation? Maybe. But I don't think I have felt something hit as strongly as this since QaF over there. This time I can participate in fandom so I don't need to write every thought I have because it's all a big talk anyway, but I'm still pretty much having those thoughts all the time for *checks notes* nearly three months. I'm writing more than I have in years. I'm back at Tumblr after I don't know how long. I'm staring at GIFs over and over like I have the fucking time for that. I'm distracted at work daily. I talk about it in therapy. I have the main cast's notifications on. I'm getting involved in fandom discourse sometimes even knowing I shouldn't. It's a nightmare. I love it. I love them.

If you read all of this, congrats! Now you know how my mind works, kinda!! I'm open to talk about any and all of these shows. It's amazing how they mess us up. It's also scary, but anyway.

[barely-coherent]

Seduce Me Bros Trying The Period Pain Simulator

This has been my hyperfixation for over a week and I doubt it's gonna stop but also my body is mad I'm not pregnant so... Here, I guess.

James

I feel like he knows

He knows it's gonna hurt

But he has this sick sense of satisfaction

Knowing he can probably do better than his brothers

But he gets like 3 levels in and he's gritting his teeth and doing those really dramatic breaths

Save him

"I've read plenty, I'm sure this isn't as bad as it seem- ... I take back everything I just said. Dear, please, sweetheart, my love, no, I can't."

Erik

He probably tries to play it off

"Oh? Didn't take you to be one for pain, princess."

And then he's like curled in on himself

He does those like "I'm so sorry for every woman I've ever looked at" monologs

"This will be interestiNG!! Princess, I am so sorry that I ever doubted, oh God, any woman ever... They have to go through this... Every month?"

Sam

He's absolutely been laughing at his brothers

"It can't be that bad, drama queens. 10, immediately, I can take it."

He immediately regrets everything

Every choice he's ever made

He's doing that thing where he punches whatevers closest to him

He accidentally breaks a couple door frames on accident

Don't let him go to the roof unless you want your ceiling to cave in

"C'mon, level 10 immediately, I got this. OH MY- Holy shit, it's this bad? I'm gonna lose my fucking mind... WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS IS ONLY LEVEL 5?"

Matthew

Seeing Sam had him scared

He and Sam would bicker a lot but he knew Sam

He wouldn't react like that unless it was bad bad

He looks at you like "Please, I'm so sorry, please don't do this to me."

But just as you put the thing on he's already like "No, it hurts"

"It's not even turned on yet"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN"

You turn it on and immediately he's like "Every month?"

Bro probably tears up a little

He understands how you're able to handle Simon now

This is so much worse

"Oh no, please, it hurts... It's not even on? Why does it hurt already? OH SWEET MOTHER OF- And you feel this every month?"

Damien

I want to say he would be like "Anyway, I'm gonna be busy all day so you have fun"

And you're like "Read my mind again, I dare you. You're not getting out of this."

And he winces at each and every one of his brothers reactions

"Ready?"

"No"

"Good. Neither is anyone when it's the real deal."

You turn it on and he's just silent

He's probably the type to do that like hiding the pain via singing thing

Like the "Oh my god 🎶 This is so terrible 🎵 I have so much respect for you 🎶"

Let's be real, he probably cries

"I'm sorry for doing anything, don't do this to mE- Oh, God, hmm. Nope, no, I'm good, I understand. Please!"

-

They all probably get a tracker for you and stock the house with chocolate in the days leading up. Their wives also thank you when they find out why they know so much.

[ghost-cricket]

heeyyyyyy guys

i was doing a writing contest with my friends to make an AvA fic based off of a pre-existing episode. i did the flashback and im actually really proud of this, so without further ado, here it is.

Eye Strain and Hand Pain - The Flashback

TW/CW: swearing, mild blood/gore (i wasn't allowed to do too much), implied cannibalism, implied self-harm

Word count: I don't remember, but somewhere around 2,000

fic below the cut :3

~~~~~

For being a horrible atrocity, the killing spree was pretty fun. The poor civilians' frenzied shrieks, the two siblings' laughs as adrenaline pumped through their veins. Splotches of red covering their clothes, they didn't mind destroying anything they came across.

After all, why would they?

Destruction was all they knew.

Dark took a wheezy breath into his inhaler before tucking back into his stained jacket pocket and flying over to Chosen. He was shouting something incoherent at people running for their lives. 

Dark tapped his shoulder, fidgeting with the broken zipper on his jacket. Chosen spun around, eyes glowing bright crimson. "Un autre ? Ils continuent à venir comme s'ils le voulaient..." (Another one? They keep coming as if they want this...) he said with a manic smile, fading as he realized it was his younger brother.

"Hey, Cho!" Dark said quietly, a smile on his flushed face. "I.. I think we might have to wrap this up.. It's getting dark and my chest hurts a bit." 

Chosen nods, seeming a bit spaced out. 

An offhand comment of "Ever wonder what those fuckers taste like?" and the two siblings found themselves sitting around a campfire. Dark's heavy eyelids eventually closed, his head on Chosen's lap. The latter didn't mind carrying the former home.

~

Dark unclenched his jaw to drink some of his water. It felt good on his dry throat and eased the hunger clawing at his stomach. He hadn't moved from his computer for 14 hours now. 

Originally, the standing desk seemed like a good idea, but Dark's scoliosis has gotten worse over the years and now standing for so long just made his back hurt.

Hence the bottle of ibuprofen beside the computer. He had taken 5 now. 

Staring at the small numbers and letters on his computer screen was giving him a pounding headache that not even the painkillers could help. He ended up having to squint harder than was comfortable to even see much of what he was doing.

But with a final hit of the enter key, Dark was done. He felt like he was going to pass out. A quick glance at a clock told him it was either 10:30 or 1:03. Either way, it didn't matter. He finally finished his project, ending a 2-month hyperfixation. He honestly couldn't remember the last time he had eaten or slept, which further explained why everything was aching. He was ready to just curl up on the floor and go to sleep and forget about the world, the animator, the hurt, when Chosen opened his door, even the soft click of the door ringing in Dark's ears. He turned his hearing aids down.

"Dark, I honestly don't care if I have to drag you out of here, you haven't left this room in 14–" Chosen starts, quickly being cut off. "Cho! Cho, I finished! You wanna see? I- I did it! Finally! It'll be just like you.. like we always wanted!"

Chosen chuckled softly. "Alright, alright... Since you say it's 'so incredible.' Just take it down a notch, okay? You're talking really loud." 

Dark rolled his eyes. "Just turn your hearing aids down." He paused. "But- But anygays, I have my thingy to show you!" He darted back to his computer, stimming excitedly. 

"O-okay, okay, so.. So, this is the ViraBot! I've been working on it for, like, 2 months! It can do a ton of- A ton of cool shit! A-and.." Dark's tone was shifting from excited to just plain manic. Chosen placed both hands on his shoulders. "Deep breaths." 

Dark did as he was told and started over with a sigh. "This, my dear brother, is the ViraBot." 

"It looks like a spider, but missing a few legs."

Dark shot Chosen a glare. The latter shrugged.

"But anygays, this thing has a ton of features, like..." Dark typed a couple things on his computer and the ViraBot on the wall suddenly had a bright red spike on the end of its... limb. Dark smiled. "And that's just the start."

He took the spike, its sharp end glinting in the warm sunlight. He forcefully stabbed his globe with the the spike and it immediately dissolved into some bare code, along with its stand. Dark grinned, his coal black eyes shining. "We can destroy the world, Cho. And anyone who would fucking dare hurt us the way that cursor did."

Chosen just stared in horror for a moment, his chest tightening painfully. 

Not another bloodbath.

Not more innocents' screams.

Not more fire and tears and broken bones.

Why would Dark want to go back to that after all this time living normally?

But then again, why wouldn't he?

Pain and death and killing was all he knew.

Dark loaded the ViraBot into its launcher, carefully contained in a red-and-white casing. 

"Dark. We don't have to do this."

Dark's excitement died down for a moment. His smile faltered. "...wh-what?"

He quickly puts his smile back on. "Come on, Cho! It's what we always wanted to do! Obviously we've gotta start with our biggest problem, the..."

"Dark..?"

"...cursor, who can fucking burn in hell. Like, how could he do those things to you? To us? Nobody can just do that..."

"Dark."

"...but I digress, this lil bitch will end up on his computer and fuck him up just as bad as we did! And then I can finally go to sleep. And drink water, it's been a hot minute since I've done that..."

"Dark."

Dark's hand was hovering over the button, either quivering from excitement or just outright shaking from the exhaustion of not sleeping for so long.

"What? Oh, do you wanna press the button? Yeah, that's only fair. After all-"

"Dark, stop."

"But.. What? This is what-"

"Dark, shut up! Have you ever considered that maybe I don't want this? That the whole world doesn't fucking revolve around you and what you want?"

Dark felt the all-too-familiar sting of tears forming in his eyes, but he swallowed and blinked them back. Fine then. Be like that, he thought to himself. I'll just... do it myself..

Shaky hands.

Breath hitching in his throat.

Hand lowers.

Rough hands, firm grip on Dark's shoulders.

"Dark, what did I say? We can't do this!"

Dark wanted to explain to Chosen why they had to, why it would be the best decision ever for them, why he had gotten a total of just 56 hours of sleep in the past two months. But as he prepared the explanation, the words died on his tongue. He couldn't force them out if he tried. 

So he just went for the button again.

This time when he was met with the rough hands, he ended up on 

the cold tile with his nose bleeding, a new crimson stain soaking into the collar of his shirt. He felt his hands heating up and unstifle-able tears welling up in his eyes.

A few seconds later, a wall crumbled.

Just like Chosen and Dark's once perfect relationship.

Soon things devolved into what was pretty much a fistfight, but with a few more broken walls. Everything blurred around Dark as he ran for the button.

His revenge.

His closure.

Only a moment after Dark's palm hit the smooth red plastic, he felt a small explosion and found himself in the air, falling.

"I thought you wanted this."

~

Chosen took a deep, shaky breath as memories of him flooded his mind.

In and out.

Hands ignited.

He got a sort of adrenaline rush from all this, and he hadn't flown in months. It was kind of nice to do it again. Feel the cold wind on this face, see everything from beautiful views.

Maybe once this was all over, he could go fly somewhere. Though, it wouldn't be the the same without Dark...

That's okay, times change. And who knows, maybe he'll-

Impact.

Chosen pulled away from the light blue barrier that the ViraBot had so easily gone through, coughing weakly into his arm.

That's gonna hurt later.

It took a painfully reddened hand to realize that no amount of punching would do anything.

~

Dark felt himself hit the ground with a... Well, he wasn't sure what it sounded like, but it sure as hell could've been the loudest thing he had ever heard. It at least felt that way.

With a soft groan, he rolled over from his back to his side.

"God, I think I broke... everything.." he muttered, taking a few moment to collect his scattered, betrayed, hurt thoughts before picking himself up, pleased with the fact that nothing seemed actually broken at the moment. He quickly looked himself over, wincing as he noticed the sheer state of his body. Through the charred and still warm hole in his shirt, he could see dark, black burns, deep red oozing from melted skin.

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit..." Dark stumbled to his old... pitifully small house? Shack? Place...? He was honestly too disoriented to remember what the small structure's original purpose was, and his shaky ankles that, in hindsight, were probably sprained or something, threatened to give out at any moment.

Dark all but collapsed on the floor.

Down on his hands and knees.

Panting.

Saliva dripping from his mouth.

Tears dripping from his eyes.

He dug through the supplies stored under the table and pulled out some disinfectant, a shit ton of bandages, and a spare T-shirt.

He gingerly took off his current, very burnt one and set it aside. It was horrifically bloodstained anyway.

Mentally preparing himself for the burning sensation, he poured some disinfectant straight from the bottle onto the mess of stuff he didn't even want to look at.

Once he figured he had screamed and cried enough, it was onto the bandages.

From experience, bandaging yourself can be difficult, but not impossible after enough practice. Now, if your skin just stopped actively melting, that changes thing a bit, but Dark didn't really have a choice.

So he wrapped the slightly dusty gauze as tightly as he could around his chest and stomach, using a few too many pieces of tape to hold it in place. He then awkwardly pulled on the also dusty shirt and smoothed out some of the wrinkles. For the sake of being able to walk more comfortably, he also wrapped his ankles, which seemed to work wonders when he stood up and they only somewhat ached.

Maybe that was just his fast healing, though. If there was one pro to being created, it was that.

Dark let out a long, pained sigh before standing up on less-than-steady legs and pulling up the ViraBot code on his computer.

He glanced at the three whiteish scar lines on the back of his wrist.

Maybe they could use a fourth one to match.

~

Through strained eyes and sheer willpower, Chosen managed to break through the barrier.

A chilling sense of nostalgia gripped him as he traveled in the empty space leading to the PC.

He wanted it to stop.

His breathing picked up.

Tears stung his eyes for a moment.

If he was being honest, he really didn't want to go back to that place, but-

Another impact.

Okay, fuck what I said earlier, this hurts now.

More eye strain and hand pain got Chosen inside the PC.

The fight with the ViraBot was unpleasant, to say the least. Chosen didn't enjoy the metallic-tasting red in his mouth or the way his vision blurred and doubled after a while if he wasn't focusing on anything. But really, he didn't like that he and Dark's relationship was even more strained than his ruby-red eyes.

As Chosen left the PC, he gave a small nod of acknowledgement to his creator.

As he went back to face Dark, he couldn't help but feel like he was no better.

~~~~~

fun fact: this is my longest oneshot :3

heyyyy uh

the SH warning was there for a reason, but i mustve forgotten to copy-paste two lines, so i went back and fixed it TvT

[your-local-catsitter]

so uh this headcanon on ao3 has been ripping my brian apart piece by piece. and usually i never get interested into something enough that i post about it- but DAMN has scarab taken over my mind.

this was written whilst listening to laufey very loudly, so sorry if it doesn’t make sense since i was also jamming out.

this follows the headcanon that scrabbey used to have wings, because all scarab beetles have wings. but in f&c we can clearly tell that scrabbey doesn’t have wings.

my take on this is that scrabbey used to be more laid back, which i think is why him and prismo first started dating. since yk prismo is the type of guy to not make a fuss, when scarab now loves to prove a point. (in a very messy way)

i think that once scrabbey got sent on a mission to capture a cosmic criminal but got distracted by the world’s scenery and delayed the job to admire the view. and in cheers (ep. 10) when fionna world gets canonized we see the boss’ phone come out of nowhere, maybe hinting that the boss sees everything no matter what.

so i think that scrabbey got caught not doing his job, which caused orbo to get in trouble. and then orbo got upset that the boss was on his ass, and took out the anger on scrabbey. taking his wings and his antennas, i think this is also why scrabbey has a cane.

the reason why i think that’s why scrabbey has/needs a cane is because my main hyperfixation is cats. and cats whiskers are really important to them, it lets the cat now if they can fit in a area if they’re whiskers fit. and they use whiskers to sense other animal’s presence since their eyes aren’t too well. so idk much about bugs so since yk cats are my hyper fixation. buttttt!! i think that scrabbey’s antennas served as a bugs form of whiskers, and whiskers help cats keep balance! so scrabbey may have trouble standing up straight without his antennae’s causing him to need a cane!

i think that prismo and scrabbey also broke up because of scrabbey’s wings and antennas getting taken, since ik when cats get declawed they start acting out since they can’t protect themselves. i think since prismo is much bigger then scrabbey (both in two dimensions and in scrabbey’s of form) he felt the need to protect himself.

so maybe scrabbey started acting out (as a cat would start biting after being declawed) and hurt prismo both physically and emotionally, causing them to break up.

and as the author of the original head canon has mentioned on ao3, this also helps explain to us why scrabbey wanted to hurt prismo’s world so badly, most likely upset or and jealous about prismo getting off the hook so easily whilst it cost scrabbey his bug features.

blargh uh thanks for reading that laufey induced mess, you’ll probably hear back from me in like 6 months.

[dance-like-an-idiot]

HAPPY FALSETTOS DAY!!! congrats trina and mendel falsettos on your 45th anniversary 🙏‼️

i would do something because im hyperfixated so here's whizzvin i wrote yesterday

writing under cut :D

"I'd love to be somebody's "The one who got away"," Whizzer said for the millionth time since they've been together. And it's been 10 months, —Not 9 Whizzer stop smelling the damn roses.—

Marvin rolled his eyes and he knew by proximity alone that Whizzer saw the action. Whizzer slouched from where he sat in Marvin's lap and pouted with a huff that blew on Marvin's stubble. Marvin could barely stand him. "Ever thought of monogamy? It's a joy, I'm sure you'll love it," He drawled, repeating words of his own. 

"I'd love to leave you, ever think of that?" Whizzer quips mercilessly, but still it's repeatitive. He's smiling now, though, testing Marvin. They both know where this leads. 

"I'd love for you to love me, or want me, or need me even." 

Whizzer scoffs, "Don't be so foolish, Marv. You know you'll never get what you want from me." Whizzer's smirk is wide, Marvin wants to kiss it off. 

So he does, because he always gets what he wants. 

——

"Marv, did I end up as your "One who got away"?" Whizzer asks off handedly one afternoon on the weekend. Which means Jason is quite literally a room over and Cordelia will likely be busting down the door any second now, Charlotte in tow. 

It's been years since Marvin's heard that phrase, and every time Whizzer would bring it up they would fight. Marvin hates those fights now, and that phrase is so negative in his mind now that he freezes up. 

Whizzer who is sat on the chair in front of him notices —of course, Marvin couldn't be discrete about it— and he seems to perk up. What? "You okay?" Whizzer asks simply... But could it ever be that simple? Two years ago Whizzer would have never showed that kind of care however simple. Instead Whizzer's mouth would form a familiar insult, whether it be about his clothes or rightfully calling out the sack of shit Marvin was. 

So hearing such a simple question fills the burnt pit in his stomach before he feels the words finding their way up his esophagus and out of his mouth. "I am. I am so much more than okay with you." 

Whizzer smiles and his face scrunches together like he's trying to surpress it. He looks uncharacteristically bashful. Whizzer stands from his chair and walks to Marvin, causally taking a seat beside him, so close their knees touch. Marvin responds by placing his hand on Whizzer's thigh. Whizzer lowly chuckles and takes Marvin's hand in his own. He traces Marvin's knuckles, rubs circles into his palm, and Marvin had never thought he was a touch starved man until now. Until Whizzer. Whizzer had flipped his entire life upside down. Whizzer indirectly made him better. Whizzer was constantly on his mind for the last two years. Whizzer speaks, "You still didn't answer my question."

Marvin snaps out of his trance and looks at Whizzer's eyes which are fixed on their connected hands. "Shit, what was the question?"

"Oh, it's only the question i brought up pretty much everyday for nine months straight," He lightly teased and Whizzer connected their hands fully, tilting his head to return eye contact. His smarty smile is beautiful. 

Luckily the hint lands and Marvin squeezes Whizzer's hand and smiles faintly, wanting to return his joy but still the thought of that question... "Yes... But you're here now, aren't you?" 

"I am," It's a finality. "I just remembered how often I would ask that and got curious." He leans into Marvin and their hands never part. 

Marvin preens at the contact but takes a finger to guide Whizzer's head up again. Their eyes meet and Whizzer must be the most beautiful thing in the world. Marvin has never felt so lucky to be loved, to have Whizzer again in his arms and in his hands. Marvin pecks the tip of Whizzer's nose before saying softly, "Then that makes you the one who stayed."

[gottastayawake]

Stay Awake or Perish at the Edge of Sleep

Welcome to my TEOS sideblog!!

A place for me to reblog stuff about this wonderful series and make some noise! I have also got a Twitter/X acct at Gotta_StayAwake!

Spoilers are under #The Edge of Sleep Spoilers and #TEOS Spoilers, so if you want to avoid them, make sure to blacklist these two tags.

#Information will be used in regard of what you can do or how to help out in making some noise so TEOS is noticed. Check out this amazing post by @/lady-raziel, it comes with the PLAN of ACTION for what we can do to give our support to Mark and TEOS.

SO, WHAT CAN I DO?

Listen, I get it. I have to work a job I don't like, barely surviving my day to day, and I certainly have no money or a big following enough to try to change the mind of Amazon Execs about Mark and his projects. Hell, I made a whole new blog (which I have not done for anything else in fandom, my blog is an amalgamation of all my hyperfixations thrown in together) BUT I'm still gonna try by doing what I like to do. I'm gonna make posts and I'm gonna reblog, and I what I can do is sign up for a 30-day free trial to binge the series all day. I'm gonna livetweet my reactions to the show on Twitter and I'm gonna make memes and talk about my faves from the show. It's not much, but it's something I can do and will gladly do for Mark.

Markiplier has been a big part of my life and I really owe him keeping me going during the worst of my depression, I'm pretty sure without him, I wouldn't have been able to finish university. So now, I want to do as much as I can to support "The Edge of Sleep", its success will allow Mark to get his movie "Iron Lung" out and some bigshots in Amazon/Hollywood have now done their best to stop him. So it's important for us to do as much noise to get TEOS out there!!

Remember Our Flag Means Death, cut one season short before we could finish their story.

Remember KAOS, a show that Netflix cancelled a month after it premiere and that no one knew even existed bc Netflix never advertised it.

Now, TEOS has been dealt the same uncaring hand by Amazon. They made Mark not be able to reveal where it was coming out, we barely got a premiere date (October 18, 2024) AND THEN they shadow dropped it on the 15th with no notice and for the US audience only. We also know that they told Mark that if the show didn't get into the Top 10, then his movie is at risk of never coming out. Despite all of that, as of today Wednesday 16th, the movie is #7 and #Markiplier is trending on Twitter/X.

So if you can:

Stream the show. I'm cancelling the trial two days before they charge my card and streaming TEOS until then. If you are outside the US, you can use a VPN, and it will work, believe me. Hopefully, on the 18th we can get a world premier and everyone will be able to stream it, but if not, those options are available.

Make posts about it. Anywhere online where you gush about your faves, talk about it! Whether you have seen it or just know the Podcast, don't forget to tag it with #TheEdgeofSleeponPrime to make sure it stays trending.

If you have seen the show, leave a review on Prime, IMBD and anywhere else you can find!

Have fun! It's really awesome to engage with others who love the things you do, even if its just reading and liking posts (but if you are here on Tumblr then you must know that reblogging is the norm here!), so go out there and engage with the fandom, even if its just in your own corner.

Don't let the anxiety get to you, every little thing helps! Now let's get this to be the No. 1 show on Prime!!

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #37

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [Intermission] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36]

[AO3] [wattpad]

*CW-Long term affects of medical denial & child abuse, living with PTSD *Kink & toys mentioned

((I keep forgetting to tell you guys: Lyly is pronounced "lee-lee." It's short for their middle name, Llyn/Lynn (<-genderfluid affected spelling)))

~POV Mori~ I woke up gasping. I sat up and wrapped my arms around myself so I could tell the difference between actual physical touch and the phantoms left over from my night terror. My body wouldn't stop shaking; I needed Lyly's help. When I got out of bed I froze. Not only did my bed not have curtains, this wasn't my room. No. This was my room. Sinbad picked it out for me in the guest tower. I was in Sindria; in a whole different dimension. All of the adrenaline supporting me left and I sank to the floor. I was still trembling but I wasn't scared anymore. The people who hurt me couldn't reach me here. I had that dream because after spending the past month hyperfixated on the present, I had been triggered into remembering one of the worst parts of my past, so now I was remembering the rest too. 'Sorry, Lyly.' The safety I had gained in this world was invaluable. I couldn't imagine going home willing. Based on how little light was getting through the curtains it was still the middle of the night. I was drained from my dream, and my hips were still aching but it took a while for my mind to calm back down. Tomorrow and the distractions that came from it couldn't come soon enough.

--- "Alright now, Mx. Prophet," the doctor gave me my diagnosis. Sinbad had him sent first thing in the morning, and his arrival woke me up. "You need to rest for a few days. I'll have painkillers sent over to help with your hip pain, fever, and migraine." With his job done, he saw himself out. 'I can't miss the Morning Assembly! ...But-!' I knew the doctor was right deep down. I was in no condition to do much of anything. I was fine resting when I didn't have obligations, but I had a job now. If I was back home I would have had to give Lyly my keys so I couldn't leave. Five years just wasn't enough to fully rewrite my base instincts. Although, from the new memories I was gaining, the me back home was doing a bit better. Those new memories were why I was healed and practiced enough to stop myself even if a doctor hadn't told me to... especially since I had a fever. As long as both me's kept whatever this connection was then maybe we would also keep the benefits from both sides. --- ~POV Sharrkon~ Mori was the only person that missed the morning Assembly. Yamuraiha had a growing smile throughout the meetings, and now that it ended she mumbled something to Pisti. Shar groaned; he knew where this was going. "Yup." Pisti giggled. "I heard from a reliable source," probably 1 of her boyfriends, "that Mori's not 'sick'. Her hips were injured and her body over worked last night." The King refused to look at the gossips. His silence spoke volumes compared to the past month of him adamantly defending that there was nothing special between him and 'his Beautiful Prophet.' "Oh ho~! It finally happened after I left!" Hina slapped Sharrkan on the back with a laugh. "Looks like the 2 of us have to pay up! But I guess you lost the most, huh?" "Oh, no! I ain't paying nothing! Nothing happened!!" Shar had a hurt ego to nurse and he would not let them step on it harder. "Mori got hurt dancing. Our King had nothing to do with it!" Sharrkon felt a shiver run down his spine that made him hold his tongue. Hina looked to the others for confirmation. "Is that true?" Drakon answered him. "It's true. However, it's also true that Sin carried Mori all the way to their room from the festival." "Oh~? That's proof enough for me." Drakon, Ja'far, Yam, and Pisti agreed with their own comments. The man in question still refused to comment, so Hinahoho addressed him directly. "You're really not going to say anything, Sin? After all of that time, telling us how you don't want to get married?" "Fine. Fine." King Sinbad finally turned to them with his arms crossed. "It's simple really. You know I'm not the type to reveal my hand until I'm certain." Sinbad was smiling, but Shar knew instinctually the King was the threat that told him to stop talking. The giant laughed. "Is that so?" "I know you're aware this is a first for me." Sharkkon's wallet cried with him. He had lost 2 out of 3 bets. It was only a matter of time before he lost the 3rd.

---- ~POV Mori~ The Great Bell rang out. The morning Assembly was definitely over. There were several things I had wanted to do today, and I couldn't do any of them since I had to rest. I needed to meet with Queen Artemina before she left Sindria. I had to solidify our connection as allies, but she was set to leave in a day. As I wrote a letter to send her, the waves shifted. This was the right choice for me, and the future I wanted. The letter would need time to dry before I could send it. I got up from my chair and stopped. I didn't want to lay down again yet no matter how much my body needed it. 'Damnit! How much more of my life am I going to spend sick??' I groaned into my hands. I was born with a weak raspatory system, so I get sick multiple times a year and often end up bedridden. "I am allowed to rest even though I can sit up and walk. Pushing will only make it worse." My mom eventually stopped acknowledging when I would get sick due to the expense which is why I struggle to let myself rest as an adult. I made a point of putting the truth into words to fight her conditioning. I climbed back in bed even though I knew that meant I would be stuck with just my thoughts until I fell back asleep. This was the perfect opportunity to process everything that had happened with Sinbad, but I couldn't think about it at all. Being triggered, recognizing these new memories, and that night terror just made me think about home more -well the place I came from. Even when I was in my room there I often couldn't help but think 'I want to go home' because even though it was comfortable and familiar, I couldn't feel safe. My last therapist told me that as long as I stayed in that house full of reminders there was only a slim chance of me recovering from my CPTSD. If only I could have afforded to move out.

In the new memories I got, our dad finally agreed to reorganize all of the living spaces, so that me and Lyly weren't getting as many flashbacks anymore. Hell, he even apologized for everything and started acting like a real dad some of the time. The me that stayed home was able to persevere until an opening for change finally came. 'If they got Isekai now I wonder if they would want to go home?' The thought had never occurred to this me -just like it never did back when I was in in-patient. Although I was still worried about Lyly like I was then. I rolled over to pull out a scroll from the bedside dressers. When I was on the ship I had worked on all sorts of scrolls and one was a memoir of my life back home. One of the first things I did was draw the people important to me before I'll inevitably forget their faces. I unrolled the scroll. Lyly's face stared up at me from the page. As difficult as that place was to live in all of my loved ones were there. In this world there was no one that knew me, and I wasn't sure if I could let my self get that close to anyone here -especially Sinbad. He already knew how deep some of the scars on my heart are. I didn't want him to think any less of me, or use my pain against me. And even more than that, I was scared that the safety I had here would shatter if I made a wrong step. 'I thought I was doing better.' This world had treated me so well that I fell into a false sense of security. Not being surrounded by reminders of my traumas made me feel like I was somehow cured and could restart from scratch. But that's not how healing works... Being away from triggers just made it easier to avoid having an attack. It's only after feeling safe that we let ourselves feel the emotions that are unsafe to feel in the moment. A few tears fell down my cheeks. I placed the scroll on the bedside table and rolled back towards the middle of the bed. Surely it was okay for me to cry in a situation like this. I allowed myself the luxury even though the tears didn't last long. When I was young I cried just as often from joy as sadness. The abuse I experienced made it unsafe to cry at all, so I learned to cry silently until I eventually stopped crying altogether. Being in this world made me feel like it was okay again. Letting myself actually feel these emotions was an important step in the healing process. Beating myself up for getting triggered and relapsing wouldn't help at all. I needed to forgive myself.

--- One day of rest should be enough, right? It's not like I still had a fever. I didn't want to stay in my room and make an even worse impression. My hips would hurt a little if I over worked them, but that would just act as a limiter. ((<<= This person is in denial))

I got dressed after breakfast, but as soon as I grabbed the doorknob I froze. "Yeah, no." I was not in the mood to see Sinbad in person yet, and I would have to if I left my room. As soon as I took Queen Sinbad's choker back off I felt a wave of relief. It had given me so much dopamine and serotonin when it was part of a fantasy, but now it was a reminder of my fears. How could I mark myself with it when I couldn't feel safe in my own desires? Wearing it felt like a lie. I definitely wouldn't be able to wear it for a while.

'Guess I haven't completely lost my sense of self-preservation.' Besides, I hadn't actually had time to do most of the things I like doing to relax since I got to this world. Going out in this state would be worse than not going out. Another day off as I recover from the stress had to be reasonable.

But what options did I have to relax?

Everyone else was busy with work at this time of day, so I could masturbate without having to worry about being interrupted. But my toybox didn't isekai with me; I only have my hands, and some ribbons for mild shibari. Sinbad said I could make requests, but there was no way in hell I was letting him find about this, let alone use his money for my sex toys. I'll figure out where to get some after payday. The night terror was still fresh in my memory anyway.

Video games, comics, and anime were obviously out of the question. Printing still isn't big enough for fiction to be popular to write -that's part of why Sinbad's Adventure story was such a huge success. I had 3 cats back home, but I can't exactly adopt a new pet while sick. I do sing a lot to relieve stress, but it would be embarrassing to be overheard without knowing. 'Note to self: get carpets to hang up to dampen the sound.' There were places I could go that would be harder to be heard but leaving wasn't an option until I was better. That only left me: writing and drawing.

'Working on Fate scrolls it is!'

The flow of ink was good for my brain. It did more than help calm me; it gave me more perspective but it couldn't give me true answers. 'I wish we could just go back to how things were before that night. How am I supposed to know when I will be ready to see Sinbad again?' He isn't any of the people that hurt me, so why can't I just like him without being afraid of betrayal?

Were Sinbad's actions manipulation, or earnest? Could I trust the safety I felt around him? It was definitely a combination of how he treated me, what I knew from reading his Fate, and how familiar I was with being around those types of manipulation. But there was something strange. When I looked for signs of his manipulation in how he dealt with me, or any expected fallout, nothing came from it. In fact, everything kept ending in my favor. The cycle I was expecting was coming from me, not Sinbad. The waves swirled as I finally let myself think about it.

What was he actually going to say when I cut him off? Even if it was what I thought, would I be able to believe him? Even if I didn't have relationship trauma I don't think I could trust him romantically after reading his Fate. He claimed he wasn't playing the flirting game, but that could have been manipulation. Was it my heart or pride that would be hurt more if he was lying? I couldn't tell yet.

I was lonely. Both in general, and in this world. There was no one that knew me here. And I was too scared to trust the person getting closest to my heart. Even though I didn't want to be seen like this, I didn't actually want to be alone; I just couldn't shake the fear of rejection or punishment I thought was inevitable. I left my windows open just in case. ---

~POV Sinbad~ The King sat on the edge of Mori's bed. He had been unable to visit the first time she was sick. Now that he understood his own feelings he couldn't stay away unless he was on the other side of the world. The only reason he didn't visit the first day was because he knew she needed space away from him. The waves had been trying to guide him here for a while though. Who was he to deny them? No one answered the door when he knocked or called out. The silence and waves worried him. The last report said her current fever was mild, but it could have spiked since then. Mori developed an extremely high fever on the ship several hours after everyone saw she was unwell. He entered without permission only to find his Beautiful Prophet was sleeping peacefully. He had gotten to see her; that would have to be enough. Mori turned her head in her sleep and her bangs fell onto her eye lashes. Sinbad leaned over to move her hair out of the way. He tried to keep his touch light to not wake her, but her eyes fluttered open. Unfocused eyes watched him. "Sin..?" The sound of their voice was a relief. It didn't sound strained at all, only weak from sleep.

"How are you feeling?" They weren't anywhere near as bad as last time. "~*yawn* Better now that I'm awake." "Oh? Did you have a bad dream?" They watched him as what he asked slowly processed in their newly conscious state. "Yeah, I did. Thank you for waking me." "Anytime." Sinbad returned their weak smile with his own. "I guess that's why it wasn't just my waves leading me here." He hesitated. "Mori, what do you think about moving into the Purple Leo Tower? It will be easier to care for you when you get sick. You'll be safer there. And your waves could reach me faster." The same fear from the other night started seeping into their expression. "I'm fine here." But he wasn't fine. "Besides, it will be harder when I have to move out of the Palace." For a moment he forgot how to breathe. "Why would you have to move out?" Why would she ever think she had to leave?? "Would you really be okay with me staying after my visions run out?" The King couldn't stop his hand from reaching to caress their cheek, but he was able to hold back from making contact. "Of course." Mori's brow creased farther and they glanced at his hand. "What about after I share all the knowledge I have from my world? I wasn't an engineer. I only know the basics." Sinbad's heart dropped. From the beginning Mori had been marketing herself as a resource, and he had only ever responded positively. Yet another way he'd messed up without even realizing it. "Of course, I'll still want you by my side." The more he was able to peer into Mori's heart the more worried he got. "You are a person, not a resource. You do know that, don't you?" Mori closed their eyes and leaned their head towards his hand; he took that as permission. Their cheek didn't feel feverish. They spoke flatly about their emotions like they did the night of the Announcement. "I know that logically, but I struggle with knowing how to act if I'm not helping someone." They brought a hand up to his. "I really do like helping people, but sometimes it feels like that's all I am. It's what I had to do to survive since I was little." Ah. He could understand that thought process. Sinbad had been a caregiver for his mother and village from a very young age, and went straight from that to king's candidate. There was very little time in his life when he wasn't working towards helping someone. Drinking, and philandering became his break from that -although he would hopefully be narrowing that last point to one person soon. "You seemed to do just fine at the festival." So fine that he couldn't deny his feelings anymore. "Huh? -Oh. Yeah. I guess I did." Her expression softened into a genuine smile. "It was probably going around the festival that got me sick though." It was mainly stress according to the doctors' report. Mori closed her eyes with a yawn. "I'll have to keep more distance between me and the citizens next time. I didn't realize I was so interesting." "You're incredibly interesting." They let out a quiet chuckle. "If you say so." Sinbad watched and felt as they turned their face into his palm, and sighed. Mori relaxed more into his hand with each breath as if his scent and touch were comforting. It bubbled up desires he knew he shouldn't act upon with a sick or unconscious person and yet he couldn't make himself leave either. He took a moment to ground himself but it did little good. He couldn't bring himself to leave until after Mori let go of his hand. To think another person would have this much power over him. "You really are amazing." There was absolutely no way he'd ever allow anyone else to see this side of them. Mori would be moved to the Purple Leo Tower in time, and would just have to learn through experience that he had no intentions of letting them go. ---

~POV Mori~ I woke up to the Great Bell the next morning. Sinbad being here was not a dream. I had just been too groggy to question the situation. What was the point of staying home, if he was going to visit me in person?

On the plus side, seeing Sinbad while I wasn't stuck in my trauma brain helped break the cycle of questions. Sinbad might be stubborn but through his whole life he is shown being someone fully willing to change his mind when given enough information. At this point in the story he is someone with conviction who says his truth directly -even if he often speaks in a manipulative way. So when he said he's chosen a new path, he meant it -even if I don't know what that means yet. And when he is shown seducing women, the idea of moving any of them into the Purple Leo Tower would never be considered, let alone offered -even in private. And yet he offered that to me.

Sinbad was changing and I'd never be able to accept how if I stayed cooped up in my room. To understand myself, and Sinbad I needed to spend more time around him. My rest was over. I didn't need to jump all the way in at once. I'd see him at the morning Assemblies, swap pleasantries, and part ways until the next day. 'Slow and steady.' --- ~POV Sinbad~ Was this how Hina and Drakon felt when they looked at their wives before they got together? Just seeing Mori enter the halls of the White Capricorn Tower made his heart swell. And hearing their voice? Well, he was starting to understand why Ja'far had been so upset with him since they returned from Balbadd. Even seeing Mori dressed androgynously didn't shake his feelings -though it was a bit jarring after how they dressed for the Announcement. It just cemented that what he felt wasn't simply based on how Mori presented. They were undeniably the most beautiful person in the world to him now.

After going through more options than necessary, the first thing the Dungeon Capturer managed to say to Mori was, "I'm happy to see you're feeling better."

"Yes. And thank you for visiting me while I was resting." Mori's smile made him feel at peace. Seeing them up close confirmed that they cut their bangs some. "But never enter my room without explicit permission again." Their sharper tone pierced him repeatedly with each sentence. "That includes the bird by the way. If my curtains are closed or I don't answer the door: don't enter my room."

He wore a smile to ease their anger. "Of course. It won't happen again."

Even as Mori accepted his response and left, the King couldn't get his heart to stop racing. Why did there have to be so many large risks of ruining his chances when he already knew she liked him from reading his Fate?

--- ~POV Mori~

As soon as the Assembly was over, I fled to the Black Libra Tower. 'He said he was happy I was better! AND he didn't say anything about about my change of gender expression!' Sinbad said all of two words directly to me and I started short circuiting. I remembered that he offered to move me to his tower -the one he sleeps in???- and immediately went on the defensive. I was not as ready as I thought!! I was going to need my favorite hyperfixation to survive the rollercoaster I was trapped on. And if it didn't exits yet, then I was going to reinvent it myself! It would be relatively easy to make a printing press since this fanfic was in English instead of whichever Arabic language was the region's canonical one, or Japanese like the series was originated in. Both require significantly more characters than English, and some kanji can be too intricate to make with this world's current level of technology. Speaking of which, this world had stamps and seals so this next level of printing shouldn't be too crazy of a change. I took some print making classes in high school and college, so I got to use a few different scale printing presses. I knew enough to draft prototypes. I excelled at typography in college too -so well that the department head signed off on me skipping a few courses so I could get to the high level stuff faster. The typography was digital, but I still learned enough to draft prototypes of stamps and such. ('A shame I couldn't afford higher than an Associates Degrees.) Since I was working on a table in the middle of one of the libraries, people came up to ask me about what I was doing. I gave a brief summary to the latest onlooker, before I pointed to the examples I was drafting. "I see." His voice was familiar but I was too focused to register it. The person moved around the table to read the part I had finished this morning. He made a few sounds of recognition as he read. "Won't spelling out each word every time be a hassle?" "Well, yeah. It's better to have most words premade. And full lines of text can be fused together to make reprinting more issues easier and faster." He pointed to a spot on the parchment. "Ah- that's what this part is then." My eyes were drawn to the glint of his rings. Every cell in my body remade itself as my brain finally acknowledged who was talking to me. "That is convenient." Sinbad's voice was unmistakable now that I was paying attention. I prayed to every God I knew of that my emotions didn't show in my actions or voice. "This might be a new technology here, but you won't have to completely reinvent the wheel thanks to my 'visions.'" I had to focus on my breathing to keep my heart rate down. I was able to keep the conversation moving, but I wasn't sure I would remember it well. I was more focused on not looking like an idiot. We had exchanged greetings at the morning assembly but this was the first time I was talking to him fully sober in days. His polite gestures and this conversation made my heart swell, but he wasn't flirting; he was just existing while being attractive. 'Why did I have to start thinking it could be mutual??? I can't even enjoy it like this!' If anything starts there's going to be an end.

--- ~POV Sinbad~ Sinbad didn't have a 'real' reason for visiting Mori in Black Libra Tower on their first day back, but, as King, there was no one who would question him. Although, Ja'far would come to get him if he's away from his responsibilities for too long. He arrived a bit after lunch to find Mori sitting at a table in the middle of the library where anyone could and did come talk to them. The proof being that they didn't beat an eye at his questions. In fact, it sounded like they had explained about this stamp system multiple times. Mori needed their own office in the tower. He'd make sure they got one asap. As interesting as this new technology was, Sinbad kept finding himself staring at his Beautiful Prophet more. It was hard enough to focus at his own desk -let alone when Mori was right in front of him. Sinbad had heard that acknowledging the feeling makes it stronger, but he wasn't expecting this. Mori tensed for a moment before scooting their chair away from him. He had been leaning closer to them without realizing, and they moved away. How was this the same person that fell asleep holding his hand the previous day? Were they just too tired back then to remember what was going on? Did they think it was a dream? He definitely shouldn't flirt with them while they were this uncomfortable to be around him. Would they even be willing to hold his arm while they walked together? He didn't think so. Sinbad took a moment to ground. Even if Mori had turned into a feral cat or wild rabbit around him, the way they watched him when they thought he wasn't looking was a sign that they wouldn't mind being tamed by him. They had enjoyed his company before; he just needed to remind them of that. The only question was if he could regain Mori's trust before he had to leave for the Kou Empire.

((OMGOSH I did not expect this to take this long. At least a month of that gap was from back-to-back illness too, so it took even longer. My digestive track turned off for 24 hours and took 48 to fully come back online. While I was in recovery I caught a really bad upper raspatory infection that gave me a 103F fever for a week. So of course my period hit me like a freight train a week later. Somehow I was ill the weeks around the holidays and not on them, but it was a still a super rough couple of weeks. I'm better now :D which is why I was able to have the energy to write.

I processed a lot of my emotions while working on these chapters. They're all things I already knew, but consolidating them like this helped me see more of the places they were affecting me, and cement in my head that it is okay to move forward. :D

This arc is 3 chapters long including this one. Since I do have the next 2 written already, I just need to refine them and make the art, so there shouldn't be as long as a break for the next chapter. Like this chapter, they will have scenes of Mori processing their emotions. I needed a lot of time to edit them down a ton since there's obviously things I don't intend to post on the internet, and I want the story to feel good to read chapter to chapter. I've already got the next arc started too. It's a lot of character confrontations that became discarded drafts of earlier arcs, but definitely need to happen now. Since I have those drafts as a basis, I hope to get that arc ready before I finish posting this one. I have another DeadEnd chapter to post, and a few one shots I almost have ready. I've been posting wips and art for for them on patreon, but I won't be posting them here until I have full chapters ready U-U))