#I have been banging on about the watches since season 4 and now I feel so vindicated!!

[stagefoureddiediaz]

About to fling myself into the sun properly - they put Buck in 2 watches - one on each wrist - so they could make sure to catch the watch in the close ups because it’s important!! (It’s really hard to tell from the screen grabs but if you watch the scene and focus on his wrists you’ll be able to spot the watch strap and the light glinting off the metal

The one we see on camera in the scene - that is not the wrist he wears his watch on normallyas you can see from the picture below!

Which means they needed to ensure that the watch was on camera in the close ups - so had Oliver wear one on each wrist to capture it either way!! Which means there is a relevance to the watches and when they are wearing them!!!

Now I just need to confirm that Eddie has a new watch on in the goodbye in the rain scene!!!

This show makes me feel insane!!

[steveseddie]

home run

steddie | rating: m | wc: 3,6k | no warnings | tags: post-season 4, love confessions, first kiss, first time, dry humping, coming in pants, car sex, or technically van sex

for week two of @softsteddieseptember “confessing your feelings” and “road trips” and week two of @steddiesmuttyseptember “backseat” and “clothes on”

read on ao3 here

Steve’s fingers tighten around the grab handle as Eddie’s van skids dangerously on the wet road. “I really think we should stop, Eddie,” Steve says, finally voicing the thought he’s been having since they got caught in the rain.

Eddie leans forward on the driver’s seat, struggling to see the road through the sheets of water slashing at the windshield, the wipers failing to keep up. 

At first, Steve thinks he didn’t hear him over the heavy pitter-pattering but then he waves dismissively at him. Steve flinches when he lets go of the wheel and the van swerves.  

“No way, Stevie, if we stop we won’t make it in time for the game!”

“If we don’t stop you’ll drive us off the road,” Steve says in a bitchy tone. “And then we won’t make it to the game either because we’ll be dead.”

Eddie groans, using a rag to wipe the fogged-up windshield. “But-”

“Pull over, Munson.”

With a defeated sigh, Eddie hits the warning lights and stirs the van to the side of the road. “As Your Majesty commands,” he says, matching Steve’s bitchy tone. 

“Hey, don’t get pissy on me,” Steve protests when Eddie kills the engine. “It’s not my fault the sky opened up on us!”

Eddie slumps into the driver’s seat, air puffing out and making his bangs flutter. “No, it’s mine.”

Steve snorts. “What? You suddenly control the weather or something?”

“No, but I made us stop for lunch and waste time and got us trapped in this fucking downpour!” Eddie crosses his arm over his chest, pouting. If Steve didn’t think Eddie would throw him out of the van for it he would lean over and pinch his cheek and call him adorable. 

“We had to stop for gas anyway,” he says instead, shrugging. 

“Yeah, but we could’ve had lunch in the van!” Eddie throws his arms up, almost hitting Steve in the face. “It’s called a road trip for fuck’s sake. And now we won’t make it to the game, so it was all for nothing!”

Not for nothing, Steve thinks. They spent the last couple of hours bickering over who got to pick the music and then singing along horribly to whatever they picked to annoy the other one further, which is one of Steve’s favorite parts about driving around with Eddie. That and watching him while he drives, less worried about being caught staring at him. Not to mention the milkshakes they had at the diner where they stopped for lunch were the best Steve’s ever had. Even if they miss the game, which was the whole reason for this trip, Steve would be okay with it. 

But Eddie sounds genuinely upset about it so Steve turns to face him and puts his hand over his knee. “I bet we can catch the rerun at our hotel in Chicago.”

Eddie huffs. “That’s lame, Steve.” His eyebrows knit into a frown. “You were supposed to be there and watch it live, maybe get hit by a ball or something.”

“Eds, why are you so butthurt over this?” Steve can’t help but ask. Missing a basketball game—even a big one that they drove all the way to Chicago for—shouldn’t be getting under Eddie’s skin like this. “You don’t even care about basketball.”

“No, but you do,” Eddie says with a sigh. “And you- you’re always doing things for the kids and for Buckley and for me so I just wanted to do something for you. Wanted us to do something you want for once. That’s why I got the tickets.” 

It’s Steve’s turn to frown. “Wait, I thought Wayne got the tickets from someone at work.”

Eddie hangs a hand from his neck, watching the rain fall through the window, not meeting Steve’s eyes. “Er, no, I asked him to get them for me like a month ago when he drove to Chicago for a job,” he explains shyly. “’Cause, you know, you need a credit card to get them on the phone and well, obviously I don’t have one and neither does Wayne, so-”

“Why?”

Eddie blinks at him. “Because we’re poor?” 

“No, Eds, why- why did you lie about the tickets?” 

“’Cause I knew you’d get all—” he gestures wildly at Steve, “—you about it and offer to pay for them or something and that wasn’t the point. The point was me doing this for you, y’know? Driving four hours just to sit and watch a game that I don’t give a fuck about because you give a fuck about it and I give a fuck about you. Many fucks, in fact.” He lets out a shaky laugh in the middle of his rambling. “Fuck, Steve, I actually love-”

And then Eddie snaps his jaw shut so hard that Steve is surprised he doesn’t bite his tongue off. 

One minute he’s looking at Steve like a startled deer, big cow eyes wide and spooked, and the next he’s flinging the door open and stepping out into the rain before Steve can do anything to stop him 

He blinks at the empty driver’s seat. “What the fuck?” 

He watches through the windshield as Eddie paces anxiously in front of the van, muttering to himself as the rain hammers down on him, soaking his hair and clothes. With a sigh, Steve grabs his jacket from the backseat, zipping it up before following Eddie out of the car.  

“Eddie! What the hell are you doing?” 

“I’m drowning myself,” Eddie says, running a frantic hand through his rapidly soaking hair and talking just loud enough for Steve to hear him over the rain. 

“Why?”

Eddie whirls around to face Steve. His bangs stick to his forehead because of the rain and Steve wants to reach over and brush them back. “C’mon, Stevie,” he says, shaking his head. His expression is open, vulnerable, terrified. “You’re smart enough to know that was a love confession. And a shitty one at that.”

Steve blinks, feeling droplets of water fall from his eyelashes. His heart hammers in his chest. “You- you love me?” 

A laugh escapes Eddie’s lips—a mix of amusement and incredulity. “Sweetheart,” he says, his lips curling into a sad smile. “I’m so in love with you that I was down to drive us through a torrential storm to watch dudes throw balls into laundry baskets with you.”

Despite the rain soaking Steve’s clothes by the second, he feels warmth spreading through him at Eddie’s words. “Eddie-”

“I don’t expect anything, Stevie,” Eddie interjects. “You don’t even have to let me down gently or apologize-”

Steve tries again, taking a step forward, but Eddie instinctively takes a step back. “Eddie, I’m not-” 

“I know-”

Steve growls, exasperated. “No, you don’t know,” he snaps when Eddie keeps interrupting him. “God, you’re infuriating sometimes.”

Eddie laughs but it’s a little shaky. “Big word, Stevie. Twenty points for you.”

Steve shakes his head. He closes the distance between them in two long strides, trapping Eddie against the hood of the van. Eddie looks spooked at the proximity so before he can run away Steve cups his cheeks, keeping him in place. 

Eddie’s eyes go wide. “Uh, Steve?” 

“I need you to shut up, Eddie,” Steve says, brushing his thumbs over Eddie’s cheekbones. His lips part, undoubtedly to make another remark but Steve beats him to it. “‘Cause I’m trying to tell you I’m also in love with you.”

Eddie’s mouth snaps shut immediately.

“There you go,” Steve says with a chuckle. His stomach flip-flops in anticipation. “Eddie, you know I love basketball-”

The words make Eddie frown. “This isn’t the love confession I imagined-”

“Christ. Shhh!” Steve presses his finger against Eddie’s lips with an amused chuckle. Eddie yelps but otherwise stays quiet. 

“I said I love basketball,” Steve starts again, “but I’m happy to watch it just on TV, y’know? The reason why I agreed to a four-hour drive for a game was you. I wanted to go on a trip with you. We hang out all the time and it’s never enough. I’m fucking- obsessed with you! Christ, I love you!”

His finger leaves Eddie’s lips, telling him it’s okay to talk, but Eddie just blinks at him, and for a moment, all they can hear is the rain falling around them. 

Finally, Eddie clears his throat. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do a love confession,” he says in an awed voice.

“Do I get another twenty points?” Steve asks with a chuckle.

Eddie giggles. Steve has to fight the urge to pinch his cheek again. Adorable. “You get all the fucking points, sweetheart, that was romantic as fuck.”

His thumb brushes over Eddie’s cheeks, warm and pink despite the cold. “Do you know what’s more romantic than a love confession in the rain?” He asks. Eddie shakes his head, water dripping from his bangs. “A kiss in the rain.”

Eddie’s eyes widening in realization are the last thing Steve sees before he surges forward, all but mashing their lips together. 

There’s barely half a second of Eddie’s frozen shock before there are hands in Steve’s hair and lips moving slowly and tenderly against his own. Steve moves closer, pinning Eddie against the hood of the van, one of his hands leaving Eddie’s face to settle on his waist. He wants to move even closer but the angle is a little uncomfortable, and he can’t lay Eddie down against the hood the way he could do if they’d drove the Beamer. Also, the rain isn’t stopping and Steve is starting to get cold after standing under it for so long.

So he breaks them apart despite wanting to kiss Eddie longer but keeps their foreheads pressed together. “Can we get back in the van now? Before we drown for real or catch pneumonia or something?” 

“Whatever you want, baby,” Eddie says in a deep voice. The way Steve shivers this time has nothing to do with the cold and everything to do with how Eddie sounds and what he just called Steve. 

Hooking his fingers through Eddie’s belt loops, Steve drags him towards the passenger’s side, pausing to kiss him every few steps. There, instead of reaching for his door, he reaches for the sliding door handle. 

Eddie frowns. “Wait, I thought-”

“It’s still raining.” Steve kisses Eddie’s cheek. “We’re not going anywhere for a while.” He kisses the other one. “So I thought we could keep this going in the backseat.” He places one final kiss on his lips.

Eddie’s eyes widen and he nods fiercely, grabbing a fistful of Steve’s jacket and pulling him inside. They land on the backseat, Steve on top of Eddie, and while that’s exactly what Steve was after when he led them to the van, he still needs to get the door. Eddie doesn’t seem to care about that—he hooks his arms around Steve’s neck, pulling him down for a kiss. 

Steve lets it happen for a moment, already addicted to kissing Eddie but he must put a stop to it when he feels water starting to get into the van. He pushes himself up, his hands on either side of Eddie’s head, and effectively separates their lips. “Gotta get the door, Eds,” Steve says when Eddie whines. 

“Hurry up,” he says impatiently. With a nod, Steve goes about sliding the door closed and then he’s back to hovering over Eddie, leaning down to bring their mouths together again. This time he licks the seam of Eddie’s lips, and when he parts them immediately, Steve slides his tongue inside, licking into Eddie’s mouth. 

Eddie makes a small needy noise in the back of his throat and Steve takes it as approval, kissing him harder, letting one hand snake under Eddie’s wet shirt, feeling him up, while he holds himself up with the other one. Eddie’s hands make their way to Steve’s hair, fingers tangling in the wet strands, tugging lightly on them, making Steve momentarily break the kiss so he can let out a moan when the tug goes straight to his dick.

Eddie looks up at him with dark eyes. He gives his hair another tentative tug to see if he can drag that sound from Steve a second time. 

He can. 

“Fuck, Steve,” he whispers like he can’t believe this is happening. “You’re a dream.” 

Steve desperately wants to hear Eddie too, so he starts kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. Eddie tips his head back with a heartfelt groan, exposing the column of his throat. Steve takes that as an invitation, sucking at the pale skin until a mark starts to bloom. He bites lightly at the skin and soothes the sting with his tongue, listening to Eddie’s delicious string of gasps and whines.

His legs come up to wrap around Steve’s waist, pulling him closer until Steve is lying on top of Eddie. 

Eddie who is hot and close and already hard against him. 

Steve is hard too, he can feel his dick pushing against his wet jeans. He knows they should probably get out of their wet clothes soon but right now he doesn’t have enough patience to do that. He doesn’t want to waste any time that could be spent kissing Eddie, not until they’re satisfied. If the way Eddie is wrapped around Steve like a needy koala means anything, he doubts Eddie wants that either. 

So instead Steve slowly moves his hips to meet Eddie’s. 

A whimper slips past Eddie’s lips at the friction. “Oh, fuck, Steve,” he pants against Steve’s lips. The way Eddie moans his name goes straight to Steve’s dick, making it twitch as it begs for more friction. He rolls his hips again. “Jesus, fuck- I’m- sweetheart-”

“You okay?” Steve asks when Eddie can’t seem to finish a sentence. When he rolls his hips again, Eddie makes a noise like he’s dying, failing to utter any words. “Want me to stop?”

“No!” Eddie protests, shaking his head, hair wild and fanned out on the seat. “Don’t stop. Just uh- fair warning, I’m about to embarrass myself and come in my pants like- fuck, like this.” 

Steve groans. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

“Yeah?” 

Nodding enthusiastically, Steve starts rolling his hips at a steady pace. “Yeah, I want it. Wanna make you come, Eddie. Wanna see you.” 

“Holy shit, Steve,” Eddie swears. On the next thrust, he pushes his hips up just as Steve grinds down and they both moan loudly.

They fall into a rhythm after that, approaching the edge quickly. Hoping to make Eddie come first, Steve wedges his hand between them, cupping Eddie’s hard dick with his palm. It feels big and Steve’s brain feels like it’s melting out of his ears when he so much as thinks about touching Eddie without his jeans and his underwear in the way, about blowing him, about Eddie fucking him. His own body jerks almost involuntarily against Eddie’s thigh. 

He does his best to rub the length of Eddie’s dick as best as he can through his clothes, pressed so close together. Eddie lets out a string of moans and whines that shoot sparks of pleasure down Steve’s spine.

“God, Eddie, you’re so- you sound so good. So fucking hot.”

Eddie shudders against him, his breaths coming quick and short. “Don’t stop,” he pleads even if Steve has no plans to stop what he’s doing, not when he’s so close to giving Eddie what he wants. Instead of stopping, he squeezes the head and strokes him faster. “Fuck, Steve, I’m close.” 

“Yeah, come on, Eddie,” Steve urges him on. Eddie sobs against Steve’s neck, hips jerking along with the movement of Steve’s hand. “Come for me, baby. Let me hear you.”

Eddie whines, high-pitched and needy. “Steve, I’m gonna-” He bites out just as Steve squeezes the head of his dick, his words trailing off into a moan as he tips over the edge. Steve watches Eddie come undone for him—head thrown back as his eyes roll into his head. It’s the hottest thing Steve has ever seen. It’s too much. He needs to come.

He grinds against Eddie’s hip, hard and desperate, chasing his own release as Eddie catches his breath. He’s so close already. 

Eddie must realize it too. “Your turn, sweetheart,” he tells him, his hand finding its way back to his hair, brushing it away from his face. “Fuck baby, you look gorgeous like this. Flushed and needy. Humping my leg, so desperate,” he whispers, kissing Steve’s cheekbones, his jaw, his neck. Little whines escape Steve’s lips as Eddie starts to run his mouth.

“Can’t wait to do this somewhere else, Stevie, someplace where I can drop to my knees and blow you.”

Steve’s breath hitches, his dick twitching when he pictures Eddie on his knees for him—lips wrapped around his dick, eyes molten as he looks up at him. “Oh my God.”

“Yeah? You want that, sweetheart?” 

Steve nods eagerly. “Y-yeah. Wanna blow you too.” 

One of Eddie’s hands cups his cheek. He runs his thumb over Steve’s bottom lip. “‘Course, baby. You can do anything you want to me.” 

Steve’s hips stutter, his brain foggy as he gets closer. “Y-you too. Anything. Fuck, Eddie, please.” 

“I got you, baby, c’mon,” Eddie whispers. His hand travels down until he’s cupping Steve’s ass, urging him to grind harder against his hip. Steve feels like he’s on fire. He’s so close, he can feel it, he just needs something more-

That’s when Eddie tugs harshly on his hair at the same time Steve grinds down, and just like that, he’s done for—he moans Eddie’s name as he spills into his boxers. Eddie kisses him through it, whispering praises against Steve’s lips that make shivers run down his spine. 

Steve can’t kiss him back at first, the aftershocks of his orgasm leaving him feeling a little stupid, yet Eddie doesn’t seem to mind—happily taking control of the kiss, licking into Steve’s pliant mouth. 

Once his brain comes back online, Steve kisses him back lazily until his neck starts to hurt and the arm holding him up cramps and he has to lower himself on top of Eddie, his head resting on his chest. 

They’re quiet for a moment, the only sound in the van is their labored breathing, as well as the rain falling outside, though not as hard as before. 

Eddie runs his fingers through Steve’s hair, which is slowly starting to dry. “We might’ve missed the game—” Eddie starts, and for a moment Steve is confused, having completely forgotten about it, “—but that was definitely a home run.” 

Steve snorts. He gives a weak slap to Eddie’s shoulder. “That’s baseball, you dork.”

“Eh, whatever. I won, ‘s what I’m saying.”

“You lost your money though,” Steve says, absently playing with Eddie’s curls.

“Worth it!” He says, and Steve can hear his grin in his voice. “Hey, it’s not raining as hard anymore. We can try and make it for the last few innings.” 

“Again, Eds, that’s baseball,” Steve giggles. Eddie shrugs, jostling him slightly. “And I told you I’m fine watching it in our hotel. I prefer it, actually. Can’t do this—” He props himself up on his elbow and kisses Eddie, “—at the game.” 

“Good point.”

Steve smirks. “Can’t fuck me at the game either.” Eddie splutters, his eyes nearly bulging out of his face. Steve laughs. “You okay?” 

“Yup! I just- I think my brain broke just by thinking about fucking you.”

“But you want to?” 

A hysterical laugh falls from Eddie’s lips. “Do I- Steve, sweetheart, baby, that’s the understatement of the year. Of the century even!”

Steve smiles, pleased. “Then it’s settled, we skip the game and head straight to the hotel.” He pauses, thinking something over. “Maybe dinner first. It can be our first date.”

“You don’t need to wine and dine me, baby,” Eddie says, “you already got into my pants.” 

Steve glances down at their still wet clothes. “Technically, I didn’t.”

Eddie snorts. “Guess you’re right. Okay! You can take me out to dinner, big boy. Though we should probably change first.” 

Steve shifts, grimacing when he feels the mess in his boxers. The fact that his clothes are soaked only makes him feel more gross. “Yeah, let’s do that.” 

They dig through their duffel bags for dry clothes and use the back of the van to change. Steve lets himself look at Eddie in a way he never allowed himself when he stayed over or when they hung out at the pool and finds Eddie staring right back, both of them smiling—giddy and slightly disbelieving. 

By the time they change, the rain has stopped completely so Steve steps out so he can move to the passenger seat. Eddie simply climbs to the front and flops gracelessly onto the driver’s seat. Steve watches him maneuver his long limbs with a fond smile, reaching over to smooth his hair down. 

Eddie smiles back at him, dimples digging into his cheek. Steve can’t help but lean over the space between them and kiss each of them before finally kissing Eddie’s lips. 

“Are you sure you’re not even a little sad we missed it?” Eddie asks when Steve pulls back. 

He shakes his head, leaning back against his seat. “No, Eds.” He grabs Eddie’s hand, interlacing their fingers together in the space between the seats. “As far as I’m concerned, I already won tonight.” 

“Steve Harrington, you sap,” Eddie teases yet he squeezes Steve’s hand, placing them on top of his leg, refusing to let go, going as far as using his other hand to switch gears as he starts the van. “Let’s make sure you score a few more times tonight.”

“Oh yeah, baby, talk sporty to me,” Steve says in a deadpan tone that makes Eddie cackle loudly.

But despite the two of them joking about it, they score again that night.

And a few more times after that. 

[chaiifluuf]

•°. *࿐ What if all i need is you? — d. osamu

synopsis. after going underground for the time being to leave the port mafia, yours and dazai’s friendship starts to feel like something else

content. gn!reader, spoilers for the dark era/season 2 ep 4, lowercase, comfort, fluff, hcs + one-shot, clingy dazai, lowkey bad writing??

notes. i don’t think i’ve ever been this nervous about posting something ( ; ω ; ), anyways first post and first time attempting to actually write smth so this most likely has grammatical mistakes…

dazai who, after witnessing his best friend’s death, arrived at your doorstep at midnight and without a second thought asked you to run away with him.

dazai who tells you everything that happened and why he is willing to make a change, hoping you will come along with him.

dazai who is deep down desperate for your comfort and touch, your soothing words that somehow always manage to find a way to his heart.

dazai who at one point couldn’t hold it together anymore and spends many nights silently crying into your shoulder, for the first time allowing himself to be vulnerable around you.

dazai who believes he will never be quite enough to deserve your endless amount of care and affection.

dazai who was able to have a full night of near peaceful sleep in a while, all thanks to your warmth and mere presence next to him.

dazai who realises how much you truly matter to him, how he can’t ignore the warm feeling in his chest whenever he sees you, how his body craves for you.

dazai who slowly starts to think that maybe with you he can do this and become the better person who odasaku wished him to be.

the full moon was shining brightly tonight, slightly peeking through the curtains of your shared apartment. the weather is calm, only a soft breeze passing by at times. it’s almost been half a year now since you and dazai went underground and it’s been quiet to say the least. with some help from ango, you were able to find a small temporary apartment in the suburbs, away from the main city.

the first few weeks after agreeing to go with him were rather rough. dazai was uncharacteristically quiet most of the time, his eyes seeming even duller and more distant than usually. it was clear to you how much odasaku’s death had really affected him and you can’t blame him. the best you could do was to tell him it was going to be okay and be there for him in any way needed, a reminder that you’re here to stay.

Another thing you weren’t used to was how clingy he would become.

despite the two of you not being in a relationship, it was almost unreal how touchy you got with each other. Sleeping and basking in each other’s warmth, the lingering touches when the other had to go elsewhere, the small caresses were like a second language for him at this point. and it never made you uncomfortable.

as of now you are finishing watching a film, one that has been sitting in your watchlist for a while now. the ending of it left you a little disappointed but overall it was more than enough to cure your boredom. with a soft sigh, you turn the tv off and place the remote control away.

your gaze drifts down to your chest, a view of familiar brown and soft hair snuggled up to you. he has been practically in the same position for the whole duration you watched the film, a pair of arms securely wrapped around your waist and his head resting against your chest. it's a serene sight.

judging by his steady heartbeat and slow breaths, he seems to be asleep. which is rather rare since the only time he gets actual sleep is late at night if even that. you briefly check your phone and it's barely ten pm. your hand finds itself in his hair, gently brushing through it as you untangle a few knots. it really was beyond your understanding of how soft it is. if you could spend your whole day just caressing his hair you would.

you can’t help but take notice of his features when you brush some of his bangs to the side. he looked absolutely ethereal and it made your heart beat faster without you realising it. you wish he could see himself the way you do. but then again he has said the same thing about you so that’s that. you will never get tired of his peaceful state though, looking as if there is not a single worry on his mind.

more often than you would like to admit, you wonder what you two are. up until running away, you were just close friends with him, friends who got along well. sure there was the typical dazai flirting and petnames here and there but you didn’t think they meant anything further than that. however, overtime you can’t deny the fact you might just have fallen for him.

but now you don’t know. do friends hold each other so intimately? do friends make most of your meals because they know you won’t eat anything else? does a friend look at you so longingly, even if it’s for a split second? and once you ponder about that, you start doubting if he feels the same. what if he doesn’t see you like that? what if he’ll get bored of you eventually? what if—

a small movement from dazai was enough to snap you out of your thoughts. he slightly shifted his position, letting out a faint exhale afterwards.

“‘samu?” you murmur as you stare at him for a little, expecting him to wake up but to your surprise he’s still in his slumber.

there is a certain glint of softness in your eyes before you close them and lightly bury your face into his hair, breathing in the familiar scent of his shampoo. despite your calm breaths, your mind was still running.

“…i love you.” your voice was barely audible. for whatever reason, you felt the need to say it, the very same three words that have plagued your thoughts for a while now. you know he didn’t hear it but at least that’s what made it easier to say. maybe one day you’ll finally let go of all your doubts and fears and confess to him, telling him how much he really means to you.

“you do?”

your heart drops. for a second you wondered if you really heard that or not. there was no way.

“what?” you respond quietly, almost in disbelief. dazai turns his head to get a better look at you as well as move a little closer. his eyes were half open but you can still see the glint of playfulness in them. a faint smirk was on his face. this man… is this supposed to mean that this whole time he was only pretending to be asleep?!

“you love me?” he repeated his question, a bit of teasing evident in his tone. god you wanted to smack that smug smile off his face. perhaps you should have never opened your mouth in the first place.

“ah, i just… i mean…” your words trailed off as your heart started to speed up. suddenly you didn’t know what to say but if he really heard your words earlier then the answer must be obvious. you’re sure you look flustered right now and you can’t even hide it from him since he’s right in front of you.

however, what he did next made your world freeze in time.

without a warning dazai slowly closed the distance and softly touched your lips with his. having you so distracted that you didn’t even notice when he moved his hand to the back your head.

the kiss lasted for about three seconds but it sure felt like an eternity. his lips were much softer than you thought, despite you not having enough time to fully react to the kiss. for a moment you can’t help but question if this was real or another dream you were about to wake up from.

his face still stayed close, his lips slightly parted as his warm breath hit your skin. “i think i love you too y’know..” he mumbled while gently caressing the corner of your jaw. his voice seemed more sincere when he said that.

and just like that all of you anxieties disappeared. you don’t what came over you but what you do know is that you captured his lips with yours once again. only this time you felt the need to go deeper, like you couldn’t get enough of him.

dazai welcomed your initiative warmly, letting out a quiet hum as you kissed him once again. you had no idea kissing someone could feel this good. you swear you can feel him smiling against your lips at some point and it makes your heart skip a beat. your hands wander through his hair, holding him close as your body relaxes.

you guessed all those times he bragged about being a good kisser turned out to be true after all.

when the two of you part to take a moment to breathe, he takes the chance to tease you again. “i’m still waiting for an answer to my question, bella.” he says softly.

yeah, this was definitely real.

thank you so much if you made it this far !<3 literally need to stop rereading this because it gets worse every time i do help

[potentialguybodyswaps]

Brother body part swap part 1:

My teen brother after finishing high school and going to the same college as me as a freshman, went though a major transformation inbetween summer break and starting college

In high school he had a lot of friends, more than I do now as a senior, and I never really herd him talk about sex or getting with anyone when he was in high school.

But whenever we’d go home after school and he’d have his friends over, they would always talk about how and who they were banging that week, my brother always had the most outlandish stories, talking about how how he’d use his big dick to fuck whatever brode it was in his story, all the moaning, and getting his face shoved into her boobs

I was kinda proud of him, I’ve only been with 3 girls myself, but what I was even more proud about was hearing how he had a big dick, I’ve seen my father’s one time on accident when I was a kid and was afraid that’s what I would peak at. luckily I’m probs 3 or 4 inches bigger than my old man. I was worried my brother didn’t get laid any in school cause he had my fathers dick size, but I guess I was wrong

I envied my brother benji , i always thought he was better looking than me, and I don’t know how he went from the popular class clown to one of the supposed fuck boi’s on campus in such a short time

His friends always thought it was a bit weird that benji would invite me to their smoke sesh and get High while they told their latest stories and I never seemed to have any

I typically would just zone out and watch the tv, as their stories would just become white noise to me while getting high

One day after his friends left, benji shortly came back and sat down next to me while I was zooted watching Rick and Morty, he was always better functioning while high, probs from smoking in high school too, so he had a couple years of experience, I only started smoking with him cause I was curious and didn’t have a connect myself…

Benji started talkin to me, and started asking some weird questions, but I tried not to pay any attention to them since I was so into my show

“Hey Christian, I have a question for you” he said trying not to seem needy for a answer

“Yuh” I said still staring at the tv

“Um how old were you when you first got laid” he said putting his hands together and leaning forward focusing on the tv with me

“17” I said

“And ummm… how big is your dick”

“Uh like 9 inches…. Um…. You?” I said Tilting my head a bit to look at him

“Um… 7, myself, why do you ask” he said seeming uneasy

“Bruh, chill, I don’t care, you asked first after all, what’s the problem bro, something wrong?” I said, turning back to the tv

“Um, I mean I guess, some girls I’ve been with kinda think I’m small” it was as if I could feel him sink into the couch after he said that

“Nah bro, your good, I mean your pretty good looking, no homo. And 7 inches isn’t small, bigger than average, she’s probs just a college slut, there’s always someone bigger. Now let’s just watch the rest of this, and finish the season haha” i said laughing and reaching over to give him a brotherly tapping on his chest

“You think I’m good looking? haha thanks bro. just one more question, what’s your body count, or like how often do you get laid” he said laughing seeming to return to his happy self

“Um like 2 or 3” I said

“2 or 3 girls or times” he said looking directly at me shocked

“Times bro, now shut up, we can talk about this later” i said annoyed now

Thankfully benji decided to shut up for while… but I did decide to knock on his door before we both went to bed, so we can get up early and drive to campus…

***knock knock knock***

“hey bro, you good?” I said looking at him sitting down on his bed biting his lip, hair dangling down looking at his phone.

“Ya Chris, I’m good…” benji said not really seeming like he was in a good place

“Aye you sure ben? You know I’m here for you right? You’re my favorite little brother you know?” I said smirking

“I’m your only little brother” he said seeming to cheer up a bit”

“Ya I know” I said still standing at his door frame

“May I come in?”

“Ya”

I stepped into his room, which was kinda a mess but I don’t really blame him, my room was kinda the same when I was his age

“So um about some of the things you were talking to me about earlier, what was that about?” I said taking a seat in one of Beni’s gaming chairs, swinging it around so I can look at him

“Um it was nothing… just, some girl problems…. You know what I mean?” He said looking kinda sad at me

“I mean ya, don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my heart broken before but I’m not like you Brosif, it almost seems like you and your buddies have a game going on to see who can fuck the most girls or something haha.” I said trying to relate to him

“That’s the problem bro” he said tossing himself on his bed but still facing his head towards me so I can here him talk

“I can get with chicks no problem, but none of them seem to wanna date me for some reason, and the few I have dated, cheated on me with guys they said had bigger dicks, said I wasn’t enough for them” he said looking very distraught now clinching a pillow to his chest

I felt bad for my bro, it seems he’s really trying, but just can’t find the right girl, I know how it feels to hurt like that.

“Man, like I said earlier, they must just be sluts if that’s all they care about bro, don’t stress about it bro, I’m sure in a couple years you won’t think about any of them again” i said walking over and putting a hand on his shoulder

“ but I don’t wanna wait years, I wanna form a connection with someone that cares for me bro, it fucking sucks” benji said as I saw a tear slip out his closed eyes

“I’m sorry man, maybe I can try to hook you up with one of my exes bro, some of them have told me they thought you were the cute brother anyways haha, they might be interested, you always liked hanging out with me and my girlfriends right?”

“Ya” he said voice trying not to break

“Ok then, I’ll start work on it tomorrow, get a good night sleep bro” I said heading to the door”

“And um, benji, just know, your never lonely as long as you have family, your a good person, good night, love you bro” i said closing the door heading back to my room

Once back in my room I hopped on my instagram, and was scrolling though posts when I saw a post from benji’s fanstagram (fake instagram account) where he shared a link about some necklace that looked kinda cool but clearly wasn’t real (the material I mean, definitely didn’t look like real silver). I checked the comments and I guess it was suppose to be some magic prop from a show or something, came with warning labels and all, but what does a necklace need a warning label for? Ya know what I mean haha?

Anyways the necklace was SUPPOSEDLY enchanted by a witch, and the wearer could swap bodies parts with other people when he wore the necklace and put on the clothes of the person he wanted to swap with.

I thought it was weird but decided to go ahead and purchase it anyways for him, sometimes ya just need to get a gift for one of your family members, plus I mean his birthday was in a few days anyways, luckily the deliver date was a day before his birthday, talk about coming in clutch haha.

The next day came by and was kinda uneventful, for some reason I was just really excited to see benji’s face when I give him his gift

I did however was able to get one of my ex’s “Beth” to agree to go on a date with him, even better was it was gonna be on his birthday too, guess I got him 2 gifts haha, when I told him he seemed really excited telling me I’m the best brother anyone could ask for

Another day gos by uneventful, benji telling me about all the idea’s he has for his date, asking me questions like what I think she’d like… I told him, “just be you, maybe hang out for a bit, dinner if she gets hungry, perhaps take her to the lake and go for a swim” I said winking at him

“How am I gonna get there? It’s be kinda weird if you drove us, also kinda pathetic if she has to drive us” he said seeming like he was trying to hint at something

I rolled my eyes and tossed my keys at him “duh bro, you can borrow my car I guess while you go on your date, don’t fucking scratch it tho, you know mustangs aren’t cheap”

“Seriously bro? Your gonna let me drive the stang? What’s the catch, why are you being so nice all of a sudden” he said squinting his eyes at me

“No reason bro, it’s your birthday, that’s like 1 of the 2 days a year I legally have to be nice to you, what you don’t wanna drive it?” I said raising an eye at his question

“No!, No!, I do! It was just a question that’s all” he said back peddling

The rest of the night went as usual, play’ed some games, did homework, kept checking the mail all the way till 9 pm waiting for benji’s gift to come, it’d be ashame for it to arrive after his birthday, not really a birthday gift then is it?

The next morning I got dressed and ready to go to campus, benji was the first one out as usual and just waited in the car, but he did yell out the door that I had a package on the step

“This is it” I thought to myself “it arrived, good thing too, I’ll give it to him after school” my internal monologue continued as I ran down the stairs to grab it and ran back up to my room

I opened it up and saw the necklace in a plastic baggy, aslong with instructions…. “Who needs instructions for a necklace like seriously? How hard is it to put a necklace on haha”

It did look pretty cool, I decided to open it and try it on, my head was too big to just slide it over my head, so I had to unclasp it and clasp it again around my neck

Looking in the mirror on my dresser I decided it really did look good, and I should have gotten myself one too, that way we could match, but too late now I guess, could always check and see if they still have any later I suppose

For some strange reason I thought back to what the description said of the necklace, about how it could supposedly swap body parts by wearing other people’s cloths, and I know it’s dumb, but you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat.

I didn’t have any of benji’s spare clothes in my room, but he did leave a pair of his shoes in my room from hanging out with me a lot

I took mine off including socks since if there’s a chance this would work, socks would probs mess with it, cause you know, socks are actually touching you, shoes just touch your socks

I managed to fit my feet in benji’s smaller shoes, they weren’t that much smaller than mine, but with me wearing size 12’s and him wearing 10.5’s they were small enough that I had to curl my toes to fit in them

I stood up with disappointment as I took a few steps and still felt my feet curled up…. I decided to sit back down and take them off. But when I did I was met with toenails that looked like they haven’t been clipped in over a month, strange since I just clipped mine last week…

A spark of hope was reignited as I noticed they seemed a bit smaller too

I stuck my foot back into benji’s vans and was shocked that I didn’t have to curl them to fit now… maybe I just had them so tense the first time I couldn’t feel that I didn’t need to curl them anymore…

I decided maybe this could be another gift for benji? Maybe let him live as the older brother for a week or something? If that’s what he wants of course…

I knew we were gonna be late to class if I spent too much time fucking off, so I decided to rush to benji’s room kicking his shoes off and striping. I opened his closet and grabbed a shirt and pair of pants and threw them on. I saw a pair of dirty underwear on the ground but decided against it, I feel like that would be too weird having my brothers junk

After waiting with my eyes closed for half a minute I opened them and saw that I looked a bit shorter, I mean after all benji was 5’10 compared to my 6’ so not to much of a difference. I decided to take my shirt off just to make sure I’m not crazy and saw my new chest and immediately knew it worked, I use to have a treasure tail on my stomach but not anymore sense benji could never grow one, plus my arms looked a bit thicker, not fat or anything, benji was far from that, but more like it looked like he went to the gym… once a week haha… not to mention benji weighed maybe 5 or 10 pounds more than me dispute being a couple inches shorter, I could see he, er I guess, I now had the beginnings of a faint 4 pack, I mean I had abs myself but they were from how skinny I use to be.

Now the Only issue, is I still had my old face, and I know benji didn’t wear any hats so that was an issue

Truthfully I wasn’t sure this would even work, not because I don’t believe in magic, I mean the shoe part proved me wrong, but because a lot of his clothes are hand me downs from me, but I guess aslong as he’s worn them it works?

I went back though his closet and found a hoodie that I’ve seen him wear before, I decided to put it on and zip it up, I put the hood over my head and pulled the strings so it covered as much of my face as possible and waited

“Please work, please let this count as a head article” i said outloud waiting

Wasn’t that long till I felt something touching my eyes

I let go of the strings and pulled back the hood still facing the mirror

“Yes! It worked” I said seeing benji’s face and much longer hair than mine

I was shocked to hear his voice, it definitely wasn’t mine but didn’t sound exactly like benji ether,

“is this how benji sounds to himself” i said aloud making faces in the mirror trying to get use to this

“Well I guess they do say due to vibrations in the skull, people think their voice is actually deeper than it actually is” I thought to myself as I tied benji’s shoes on and ran back to my old room and grabbing my old pair of shoes

Even tho this is crazy, I’m still thoughtful and knew benji must be feeling the shoe swap, if he hasn’t already noticed the rest of the swap

I ran down stairs and passed my mum on the way out “benji, I thought you all left already” she said not even bothering to stop preparing breakfast for when dad wakes up

“Ya I just had to grab something real quick, bye love you mom” I said continuing my way out the door

I got outside and continued running to the drive way, I got close enough and could see myself passed out in the passenger seat. I got closer and opened the passenger side door, seeing benji simply took his shoes off and relaxed instead of questioning what was happening

I tossed my old shoes at him and tossed my pair of keys on the lap waking him up

“Your driving Christian” i said winking at him

“Bro, what the fuck, why am I looking at myself” benji said pulling down the sun visor to check the mirror

“Holy shit, I’m you Christian! How is this possible” he said feeling his face

I pulled the necklace out from being tuck under the hoodie and shook it

“Remember this necklace you wanted?” I said still dangling the necklace

“You got it? And it actually works? Holy shit bro, this is crazy” benji said reaching into his pants feeling around

“Aye bro I think you forgot underwear” he said looking up at me

“Nah, I just felt like it’d be too weird to swap that, now any ways get up, your driving.” I said trying to get into the passenger side

Benji got in the driver seat and started it up, waiting 30 seconds for the engine to warm up before sticking it into drive

“So um, how long does this last? Or how long are we gonna stay swapped” benji said keeping his eyes on the road

“Oh I don’t know, there was a instructions manual but I didn’t think we’d need that, so As long as you want bro, aslong as it’s within reason, so could be for a day, could be for a week or 2, but I’m definitely not doing a whole month haha… you can consider this a 3rd birthday gift I guess”

“Jeez thanks bro, but um, you do remember I have a date tonight right?” He said a bit annoyed at the timing of the swap

“Well, I mean we can always swap back after class. Or…. We could stay like this and I could go on your date for you maybe? That way I can do everything possible to make sure she wants a 2nd date and continue seeing you, ya know since you always seem to fuck shit up haha” i said laughing

“Not funny dude, but ya I guess maybe it would be a good idea for you to go as me, you’d know what she would like, and could probs seal the deal with getting her to date me” benji said pulling off the road into campus to park

“Sounds like a deal then” I said reaching over to shake his hand

“Deal” he said

After benji turned the car off and we got out I decided to make a joke about the situation before I headed to his class’s

“Have a good day Christian” i said putting emphasis on the name

“You too benji” he said doing the same

I went to benji’s classes and tried doing my best impression of him, especially sense one of benji’s friends that we typically smoke with decided to come sit by me

I decided to talk with him and boast about how I got a hot date with Christian’s ex “Beth” to which benji’s friend just absolutely lost it

“You got a date with Beth? Dude that’s insane, I always thought she was your brothers hottest ex, you tots gotta get pics and share them with me bro” he said dabbing me up

“I don’t know bro, I might just keep them all for myself dude haha” I told him smirking

The rest of the day went as usual, or as usual as I can imagine for a day as benji. My date with Beth wasn’t for another 2 hours but I was still gonna prepare and go though my brothers closet to find the right outfit for this.

The time came and I went to grab my keys from benji, since he still had them on him personally.

I did everything I thought Beth would like, and it worked, took her for a early dinner, then a movie, and after wards she still wanted to hang out. I proposed going for a swim down by the lake which she seemed down for. We drove back to her house first since it was closer and she needed to pick up one of her bikinis and then headed back to my place since I would also need to get a pair of swimming trunks or shorts to swim in.

I went up to my room and saw benji sitting there playing one of my games, he paused it when he herd me come in

“How’d he go, does she still wanna go out” he said turning around seeming nervous

“Oh ya bro, it’s still not over, I’m just here to grab some shorts cause she wants to go down to the lake and go for a swim before it gets real dark… do you think it’d be wrong of me if I tried to fuck her on the first date? ” i said grabbing a bag and putting a pair of my black shorts in there and some towels

“Nah bro, I mean it does sound like something I’d do, so she might be expecting it” benji said smiling at me

Before heading out I left my bag next to benji as I went to take a piss, I could hear him leave the room and come back in a short amount of time. I came out the bathroom and saw him stuffing something into the bag

“What’s that” I said walking closer to grab my bag”

“Uh just some condoms, can’t be too safe right bro” he said stepping back seeming a bit weird, like I caught him doing something he shouldn’t

“Uh ya thanks bro, stopping at a store to buy some might have been weird if she knew I was planning to do this haha” i said laughing grabbing the bag and heading out

It was only a short drive to the lake, I parked and we got out together but decided to separate for a bit to change out of our clothes.

I got behind a tree and opened my bag, I couldn’t seem to find my shorts, I pulled out my phone and turned the flashlight on, pulling the towels out and found something I wasn’t expecting, my shorts weren’t in there but a pair of of benji’s orange, white and black striped swimming trunks.

“God damit benji, I told you I didn’t wanna swap dicks, that’s fucking weird, but I guess I have no choice now” I thought to myself as I kicked my jeans off and slide his swimming shorts on

I started headed to the lake but realized something felt off, my dick didn’t want to sit as usual, which I guess is understandable sense I’m not use to having my brothers dick. I decided to check the damage out and pulled my shorts down a bit grabbing my smaller soft cock

“Fuck bro I’m like 5 inches soft, but benji is like 3.5 soft, at best, I kinda wanna say closer to 3… he just must be a grower” I thought to myself as I herd Beth yell “hurry up benji, I’m waiting for you”

I could see Beth in the water, I got in to get closer to her but once I was waist high in, I saw she just undone the top half of her bra letting it float towards me “ops” she said giggling covering her mouth

After seeing that I hurried up and proceeded to go deeper into the water till I reached her. “Oh my god, your so gorgeous in this light” i said as I went in for a kiss

Beth allowed it and got close enough to wrap her arms around me and kiss me back “funny, your brother once used the same line on me, but to be honest, I always thought you were the cuter one” she said inbetween making out with

“Haha, thanks I get that a lot” I said feeling my dick starting to grow. It must have touched her legs as we were kicking to stay afloat cause she knew where I wanted to go next “should we take this to the shore” she said guiding me to it anyways

“You know what you’re doing?” She said sliding the bottom half of her bikini down exposing herself to me

“Ya, I just hope your ready for this, I’m almost as big as Christian haha” i said pulling my pants down just to have to bite my pride with shock mixed in

Benji had lied to me about his size, he wasn’t 7 inches, no where near, I looked down was greated by my new 5 inches of glory

I could see Beth’s facial expression change a bit as she covered her mouth

Before she could laugh or say anything I decided to just stick it in

Truthfully I could see why a lot of girls passed on benji, I bet over half the campus is bigger than Ben, not to mention it was mere minutes and I was ready to blow

This is kinda embarrassing as fuck, I don’t want benji to remember me as the one that fucked up his date and chance of a long term relationship cause I couldn’t hold it on

I tried my best to remember where her g-spot was and eventually I found it, but I just couldn’t seem to hit it all the way, I simply didn’t have the length anymore, I was able to get quite a few moans out of her when I would get far enough in to graze her spot, but I’m not quite sure if it was because I was reaching it, or if they were moans out of sympathy trying to keep my ego in check

Another couple minutes go by and she starts pulling my body closer trying to get me as close and as far as she could get me inside of her, she was moaning telling me not to stop, and I tried not, if I could have lasted another 15 seconds, I might have gotten her to cum first or as the same time as me, but I couldn’t, I herd a metallic click from around my neck just as I started to cum and lose my rhythm right before I got her to finish.

“Fuck I said” panting pulling out and laying next to her “ I know I almost had you finish, I just barely beat you to the punch, I’m so sorry, not very gentleman like of me to not let you cum first haha” I said laughing trying to defuse the situation

“Well, you certainly don’t last as long as your brother, nor are you anywhere near as big, but I guess you did the best with what you had to work with, your lucky your cute you know, or else I might consider this a one night stand” she said laying there with her eyes closed for a few moments

“Ok, well, let’s get you home I suppose” i said getting up and offering her a hand up

I dropped her off walking her to her door, able to steal a good night kiss before separating for the night

I drove back home in a fury, benji almost fucked this up and he wasn’t even the one on the date!

I rushed up the stairs once I got home and went straight to my room, I opened the door ready to yell at benji but was left silent after being caught off guard. When I opened the door, I saw benji in my body, panting looking down at himself, no pants on, underwear halfway pulled down and cum falling off my big dick

“You didn’t!” I said loudly surprising him

“Uh uh uh, Christian, this isn’t what it looks like” he said panicking

“Really? Cause it looks like you swapped my shorts out for yours, I come back after my date almost exploding when I told her I’m almost as big as my brother, which was a let down for her when she saw that I’m only 5 inches hard! And walked in right as you finished jerking off in my body!” I said angrily

“Uh uh, I’m sorry, I just couldn’t help myself, I noticed my dick didn’t feel right, so I checked it out, and then I got hard from looking at it, and I just couldn’t help myself” benji said back tracking

“What ever dude, your lucky Beth still wants to go out with you, we’re fucking done with this swap, get out” i said grabbing some of my clothes and a spare beanie off the ground

“I thought you said we could stay swapped for atleast a week!?” Benji said defensively moving to the door

“Ya well you forfeited that when you took my shorts and swapped them with your own, I told you I didn’t want to swap junks with you, who wants a smaller dick? Not to mention balls. I didn’t wanna lose 2 inches and instead you forced me to lose 4. Now get out!” I said slamming the door on him

I kicked my shoes off stripped naked putting on all my old clothes, and layed on my bed waiting a couple minutes to swap back before I got up

I opened my eyes and looked at the mirror positioned so that I can see myself on my bed. I was surprised to still be greated by benji’s shit eating face

“What the fuck” I said outloud heading to benji’s room to get him to put the necklace on and swap us back

I walked in and he acted shocked to still see me as him

“Did you change your mind” he said smirking

“No as you can see I’m wearing my old clothes but nothing happened” i said trying to unclasp the necklace to give it to him but failing. “Now help me get this necklace off”

Benji came over and tried unclasping to no prevail.

Benji laughed and said “hold on” as he yanked the necklace making the clasp break so the necklace would come undone

Benji made a big ole show about picking up some of his clothes and putting them on before loosely tangling the necklace so it was kinda tied around his neck “did you ever read the instructions” he said trying not to smile but failing

“No, what could be so important about stupid instructions for a necklace” i said

“A magic necklace, and well, in the instructions it says that part of the magic is if you desire to keep the parts you have, all you have to do is cum, ether jerk off, sex, whatever gets you to blow” he said looking at me with a full blown shit eating grin

“And well, you already had sex with Beth in my body right?”

“Ya” I said slowly realizing what this ment

“And I already jerked off right before you got back. Which means nothing is probably gonna happen” he said

We waited there for a solid two minutes before I finally broke

“So you knew if you jerked off we wouldn’t be able to swap back? What the fuck is wrong with you dude, now we’re stuck like this! We gotta find a way to swap back, I don’t wanna be known as the small dick little brother” I said tears starting to form in my eyes

“Let me reiterate something you said to me not to long ago, “”who wants a smaller dick”” well not me, when I saw you weren’t actually bullshitting about having a 9inch dick, I decided I don’t actually mind having your body, knowing you’d probably try and bang your ex in my body, I decided to seize the opportunity and jerk off in yours so I can keep this” benji said putting his hand in his pants

“So if I was you, id get use to being the little brother in more than 1 way benji, cause luckily for me, this is permanent now haha” my brother said laughing to me, putting emphasis on his name.

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

[jujutsukaisen0]

i havent entirely finished the fall 2024 shows yet (3 episodes of blue lock and 1 of ron kamonohashi) but since this is the last day of 2024 this is my final released in 2024 anime ranking and yes a lot of my opinions will be biased:

1. bang brave bang bravern

it's just a perfect show. it has everything i want. everyone ever should watch bravern bc i can't even begin to explain how good it is

2. cherry magic

one of the only "wholesome" bls i genuinely enjoy bc i dont find the main characters insufferable. thats not true but for being a pure romance bl its sooooo good. kurosawa is enough of a freak that it really makes it. ive seen the show twice (subbed and dubbed) and read the whole manga has far as the english translation has gone. i cant get enough of it

3. dandadan

i somehow dont have a lot to say about this one either. its dandadan. it was solidly good every week and im such a science saru fan that it made the experience that much better. great show excited for s2

4. twilight out of focus

this was the first anime i kept up with its weekly releases for since probably 2016. it was so much fun. i really loved all the couples and thought the film setting was so fun for a bl bc my girlfriend and i love film

5. mayonaka punch

beautiful lesbian vampirism. dont have much to say about this either i just thought it was so pleasant to watch a girl lust disgusting style after another girl. i hope they fuck crazy nasty in s2 im pleading

6. a terrified teacher at ghoul school (yohaji)

really unexpected sleeper hit. its so fucking ridiculously good which i never expected. i love absurd comedy anime so this is so perfect for me and i love all the yokai kids and miki and abe and auhhhh so good! really unexpected fave

7. wind breaker

you know i initially had this higher but i kinda dragged my feet so bad watching the show but after i finally got through it i liked it so i was thinking about it from current graham's pov but past graham would say it was lower so i'll kinda average it. anyways i liked it and the characters a lot. looking forward to s2

8. ron kamonohashi second season

solid show. i loved season 1 but i kinda wish season 2 spent more time elaborating on the house of m but of course i love ron and toto so much i cant even be that mad. season 3 better be confirmed or else i'll be pissed

9. magilumiere magical girls inc

feels criminal to have this so low because i really loved it but unfortunately got beat out by everything else this year. im really excited to catch up in the manga and watch s2

10. negative positive angler

i have such a complicated relationship with negaposi. it was originally my favorite show of the season but it pissed me off way too many times in the middle of the show. the highs were Really high and the lows were Really low. i wish the pacing had been better bc the show had so much potential

11. blue lock second season

i kind of don't even need to say why this is down here. it had a lot of highs with shidou and sae and bachira's aishiteru but man i really do Not care about the u 20 match and i wont care that much about michael kaiser either but im kinda stuck with this show now. blue lock makes it so hard for you to like it

12. senpai is an otokonoko

one of the most pissing me off shows ever made. i liked it but at what fucking cost man. those stupid kids need to get their shit together before i intervene

13. haigakura

unfortunately went on hiatus in the middle of the run so i cant judge it fairly now. its such a shame bc i was really loving it

[yurisorcerer]

Starting my AWC Gacha Challenge off with a fucking bang right here.

I've been peripherally aware of the Uma Musume / Pretty Derby franchise for years. I actually checked the first season of the anime out back when it was new and remember not being super impressed (I think I found the trainer annoying? It's been quite a while since then), but I was put on to the existence of this four-part OVA, and a film related to it, by a friend, and it happened to fit both the "watch an anime with the 'athletics' tag" and "watch an anime whose romanized title starts with 'U'" criteria, so I thought I'd knock out two birds with one stone.

Can I just say? This shit is CRAZY. Danny Devito I Get It GIF. I have seen the light. I'm a believer.

I have long said I don't really "click" with sports anime, and that's proven true up until now. Maybe I just needed something in a more streamlined format? Maybe I just needed girls with fun character designs? Either way, this shit fucking slaps. Being an OVA focused on a competitive sport, there's not a ton of focus on "plot" per se, but the basic rundown is that Uma Musume's characters are horse kemonomimi, named after actual, historical racehorses in the real world, who run competitive footraces. Obviously, we follow a few of them on their road to victory.

These first two episodes follow a broadly similar format where the first 2/3rds of the episode is characterization for our three leads and the last third or so is the race itself, which is an incredible exercise in just absolute top-shelf action animation, to the point where that phrasing feels like selling it short. Like, I'm not a "sakuga head" as such in that it's not the main thing I look for in an anime, but I recognize fucking game when I see it and the lightning adrenaline channeled through these races is just a really rare thing, especially in the contemporary landscape. A lot of the more restrained 'character acting' animation is really excellent too, both in the obviously human movements the girls have but also the *in*human movements; the show never forgets that these are *horse*girls so a lot of them emote with their ears, it's honestly really endearing and helps the inherently somewhat goofy setting feel real in a way it would not if less care were put into it.

About the girls themselves, I said there are three main characters. I really like two of them. One, T.M. Opera O (whose historical namesake was at one point the highest-earning racehorse on Earth), is just a fucking crackerjack execution of one of my favorite kinds of character: she's amazing at what she does, and she fucking knows it. She's a showboat, but she's a *likeable* showboat. She's an artist and the racetrack is her canvas. It's her performance, we're all just here to watch it, and she knows it. Also she has what I will call "prince girl" aesthetics and hope you get it. She's awesome. If I have to pick a single favorite character, it's her, hands down, no competition. She wins the race at the end of episode 1 and if this were my show she'd also win the races in episodes 2, 3, 4, and 5, even though there's only four episodes. She's my fucking GOAT. I love this theatrical horse.

One of the others, Admire Vega, is very much a different thing. She's got a fairly serious and reserved personality. She also, we learn in episode 2, has mood swings, which she feels are in fact the feelings of her stillborn sister. I was not prepared for something this heavy---and honestly, this soap opera-y---to show up in this series, but it works surprisingly well in terms of giving her a motivation that feels like it makes sense. She wins the race in episode 2 and for the first time in the OVA's run we see her looking genuinely contented with a broad, serene expression on her face. It's lovely.

Now, there are three leads and I've just described two of them. Unfortunately, Top Road, who is actually supposed to be *the* main character I believe, is the least interesting to me. She wants to win because a lot of people believe in her and she feels like she owes her trainer. I get this as a motive intellectually but something's just kind of missing for me, yet. I WANT to like her, and after watching her get her spirit completely crushed twice in a row I definitely *feel bad* for her (especially as of the end of episode 2, where she cries one of the most pathetic-looking cries I've ever seen animated. Poor girl), but I'm not at the point where I'm actually rooting for her over Vega or Opera yet. Still, I'm hoping I'll get there. There are two episodes left which I'm tentatively planning to watch tomorrow. I'm excited! This is really fun!

[kencoded-kengirl]

ULTIMATE SWIFTIECESSION MASTERPOST

does kendall roy listen to taylor swift? was willa ferreyra actually sighted at the eras tour? why did stewy hosseini post “STREAM SPEAK NOW TAYLOR’S VERSION” on his instagram story last night? these are all questions that have haunted the minds of succession fans since the show’s creation. you might not know who the biggest swiftie in succession is, but that’s okay, because i do. jesse armstrong informed me personally, and i will now relay this vital information to all of you: from most devoted fan to the most casual of listeners, here are the top ten swifties of hbo’s succession.

1. KERRY CASTELLABATE

kerry loves taylor swift and listens to her unironically almost constantly. she thinks that the last great american dynasty was written about her. she abuses taylor swift music in order to romanticize her relationship with logan. she got bangs to be more like taylor. no other deserves the title of most avid swiftie at waystar.

2. SOPHIE ROY

sophie is technically a bigger fan than kerry but she is way less sick in the head about it. she’s just a little girl who loves taylor whose rich deadbeat dad got her eras tour tickets for her birthday because he can’t remember any of her other interests. (rava and iverson roy honorable mentions, they went to the eras tour together.)

3. EBBA

ebba is convinced that taytay wrote would’ve could’ve should’ve specifically about the fact that her ex will not stop sending her frozen bricks of his own blood. sometimes, if you’re hanging out with her, she’ll ask if you want to watch something, and then she’ll put on the all too well ten minute version music video like it’s a movie. feels a sense of devastation over the fact that taylor doesn’t have tour dates in sweden until 2024.

4. NAOMI PIERCE

in season four when kendall said that his relationship with naomi was a “carnival of mindfuck,” he was referring to the fact that they were once texting and he let it slip that he “doesn’t know why taylor keeps rereleasing albums” and that he’s “just going to keep listening to the originals because they’re better,” and then naomi blocked him on everything and they literally haven’t spoken since.

5. WILLA FERREYRA

willa also thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she listens to taylor’s music religiously but doesn’t actually care about any of the relationship drama or even the politics. she was super excited that taylor was in the cats, though, (it’s her favorite musical) and genuinely defends the movie’s quality.

6. GREGORY HIRSCH

greg is a social swift listener. he definitely likes her music and has playlists, but, frankly, he mainly just likes understanding tiktok discourse. it’s his life goal to get rich enough to run in the same social circles as her, meet her, and live out a taylor swift x yn fanfiction fantasy in real life. also, he is pretty sure the last great american dynasty is about tom. or himself.

7. KARL MULLER

this started as a joke because the old guard have been colleagues and waystar employees for 30+ years and there comes a time when you need to branch out to make your work background playlists nonrepetitive. gerri started putting taylor songs on their playlist mainly because her daughter, peti, said that she should, and karl slowly but surely became a huge fan.

8. STEWY HOSSEINI

make no mistake, stewy does not like taylor swift. he would sooner die than be caught with a taylor song on a playlist he actually listens to. however, if stewy is 1 thing in this life, that thing is a male manipulator. as a result, he has cultivated an extensive swiftie persona complete with favorite songs, albums, and knowledge of discourse, which he uses to pick up swifties at bars. he has 1 taylor swift playlist that he sends to people like “i made this about us 🥺💕” but he actually just renames and reuses it every time he meets someone new. he has cried while listening to folklore once on accident.

9. ROMAN ROY

roman also does not organically listen to taylor swift. he is trying the male manipulator false swiftie strategy as well but he cares less and is exponentially worse at it than stewy, because he has never in his life been attracted to a taylor swift fan. he tried it on tabitha and she earnestly threatened to break up with him if he was a real taylor swift fan. he tried in on gerri when she wasn’t really paying attention and she said, “what is this? i think my daughters listen to this,” which gave roman such a severe ick he never brought it up again. he tried it on matsson as well, but it made him think of ebba and he ghosted roman for a week.

10. SHIV ROY

shiv thinks the last great american dynasty is about her. she’s not necessarily invested but she knows the songs that play on the radio. shiv has actually personally met taylor and they don’t get along. she also actively believes that taylor dating matty healy was worse than taylor’s private jet usage qualifying her as a climate criminal. she has used word-for-word quotes from getaway car while arguing with tom.

DISCLAIMER: this list was not made by a swiftie. if it seems like bullshit, that’s because it is.😄👍

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast Watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 39: The Captive Comet Season 1, Episode 40: The Little Prince

Episode 39: The Captive Comet OH BOY IS THIS THE EPISODE I THINK IT IS, THIS IS GONNA BE FUN

Opening with Haggar dishing out some lore, yes please universe started with a big bang and that apparently created a comet that acted like a black hole that at some point Voltron banished to a far corner of the universe inch resting

this was a fairy tale for drule children? i wonder how that story would've gone

ROMELLE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH

"take it easy zarkon, eaaaasy" Haggar smokes weed for sure

she sacrificed a star fleet to be able to control the comet, another thing that feels so similar to a plot point in vf

did they just pull Romelle out of her cell just to let her freak out about the omega comet heading to arus 😭 what a petty move lotor

smart cookie, she found a way to contact the team before getting found out

"human on arus" so is arus like a colony of earths that slowly became its own governing body? Inch resting, they will still be aliens to me though

how does Coran know about the secret plan that happened before voltron split into lions if he only found out voltron after it was split into 5?? I'm gonna make this lore make sense by the end of the episode I swear

early voltron formation, shits about to get real

oh man they already got to the comet? also why did Allura look so young in that scene?

Keith: maybe your right Lance: I know im right! get his ass lance

the secret plan is to go 4 sector power setting?? oh this is so a trap YEAH ITS A TRAP THEY'RE GETTING SUCKED INTO THE COMET AND LOTOR USED ROMELLE TO GET VOLTRON TO DO IT WHAT THAT WAS SUCH A GOOD PLAN

oh man voltron is trapped trapped for realises this time, he can't even get out of the comet's gravity

ofc they contacted the alliance for help, and they'd rather let Voltron die instead of giving any help "ill see what i can do" literally i want the alliance broken

PRINCE BANDOR COMING IN TO HELP THE TEAM LETS GOO again i need to make this lore make sense and by the end of this show i fucking will

YES I WAS RIGHT THEY'RE DEAD THE TEAM ACTUALLY DIED OH MY GOD YESS THIS IS SUCH A GOOD EPISODE

and now an entire fleet of doom (lol) is heading towards Arus IS THAT THE END OF THE EPISODE HOLY SHIT

/episode end

Episode 40: The Little Prince TWO PART EPISODE LETS GO

recaap time since this was a weekly premiering show

literally starting off with an invasion of Arus now that Voltron is gone, this is wild especially because it's not even the season finale

"Coran made the situation worse by calling Prince Bandor for help" I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON BARK BITE SNARL

"little fella" bandor you're only taller than pidge by a head shut up LMAO

Coran actually doing work for once and helping out, he's becoming a dependable person slowly but surely

Lotor is yelling about this next robeast being the most powerful there is,, my guy you say this every time just pick one of them to back and stick with it

"sorry we shouldve helped you when you asked earlier but now we're fucked and we genuinely can't do anything now <3" FUCK THE GARRISON I HATE THE GARRISON RAAA

GOD IS THAT YOU?? WHAT IS THIS

THEY'RE LITERALLY MEETING GOD AND SHE'S GIVING THEM A CHOICE, GO TO HEAVEN OR KEEP LIVING AND GO TO HELL WHEN THEY REALLY DIE

what heroes, they chose to end up going to hell if it meant being able to save the universe IMMEDIATELY NOTING THIS DOWN FOR FUTURE ANGST EVEN THOUGH I ALREADY KNEW ABOUT IT

VOLTRON LITERALLY HAS THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON THEIR SIDE LMAOO

back to romelle and now she's chained up, what did they do to you bestie

ITS BANDOR COMING FOR HIS SISTER HE'S SO REAL FOR THAT

there he is! voltron to save the day and destroy that robeast with blazing sword!

i'm sorry couldn't follow lotor to planet doom? what bullshit

IS GOD TALKING TO ROMELLE? OH MY GOD, SHE GOT SHOT INTO THE PIT OF SKULLS NOT PUSHED

THIS IS A THREE PARTER HELLO???

/episode end

[sprouts-on-a-log]

Tuesday 7/2/24

watched:

The Bear Season 3, Episodes 1-4:

possible spoilers? better safe than sorry.

Tomorrow

This show never fails to make me sob. I was a little confused what was going on at first because it's been a while since I watched the other two seasons. I think there's also a sort of rhythm to the show I have to warm up to again. But once it kept going, I felt alllll those emotions that made me love this show in the first place. It feels like every thought and action is at the forefront and you're given time to flow with it instead of them shoving the next idea at you.

I was really happy to see the evolution of his time in New York and the casual kindness of his roommate covering him with a blanket. Just small gestures throughout that really proves how so much of what he's done has been done with the help of those around him. Also shows just how focused he is on cooking even at the cost of distancing himself from people he really loves.

The shot of Sydney appreciating his meal??? I cheered idek why. She's so happy and impressed and that makes my heart full knowing everything that happens later.

Beautiful first episode! Very excited to binge the rest.

(the rest of these are more scattered thoughts I jotted down during so they're very rough)

Next

Feels more like a typical episode. Less artistic and gentle.

Love the relationship between Sydney and her father. Very sweet to see.

Banging song at the start lmao

"Is it fucking rich, Richard??" omggg

genuinely what is this argument, they're not even attempting to make progress or come to an understanding

Ok but Carmy is literally insane for wanting to change the menu every single day. That is not sustainable at all, pushing too hard when this is genuinely still so new to all of you. Like, your plan is to be a team more and then you proceed to choose to do something that is all you. I get he's feeling a lack of control so this is something he CAN control, but damn bro. This only works if everyone is in full agreement. Forcing is just going to distance yourself further and create grudges.

aghhh him slowly becoming just like the abusive teacher oh nooo. he doesn't see how he's acting. i think he's just gone into full survival/freak out mode. i feel bad for him.

super intense episode, felt shorter somehow

Marcus :(((

Doors

Marcus' eulogy :(((((

ah yes the distinct feeling of teetering on certain disaster

Now Sydney can ALSO get some trauma from working in this kind of environment, oh goody! (thinking again about how hopeful she used to be, and just the reality being so so stressful now)

I feel bad laughing about Neil with the soup plsss

Tuesday surprise lmao there is no logic in this place

......aghhhhhhhhhhhh

Conclusion: Carmy is losing it again. I thought we were healing.

Violet

"Did it hurt so much that it didn't hurt at all?" :'(

Rich loving his daughter so so much will always mean so much to me. It's always so bittersweet.

"Whatever grows together goes together." :'( pt.2 (two great quotes this episode??)

I love that Frank at least tried to clear the air a bit. I honestly think he was right for that. It is awkward, but he's clearly open to having Rich still be in his daughter's life. Coming to some sort of ok-ness with each-other just so that she can be happy is mature and good.

WELL SHIT

[metalandmagi]

Winter 2021 Anime Worth Watching!

Since 2020 basically sacrificed itself to give us the most stacked anime season of all time, I’m currently buried under the weight of almost 20 shows airing per week. So for anyone who’s looking for some anime to watch this winter, here’s some first impressions! I’m speed running my list this time by only talking about the new shows...because otherwise this would be my great American novel. 

If anyone’s interested, I have master lists for both 2020 anime and 2019 anime, because there’s no shortage of fun things to find. 

New Shows!

And before anyone asks, So I’m A Spider, So What? isn’t on here, because CG spiders freak me out.

Cells At Work Code Black: This...less comedic spin off of Cells At Work (made by a different studio) takes the wholesome concept of Osmosis Jones meets cute anime girls and turns it on its head. In this much more depressing version, we follow a rookie red blood cell who works in the body of an overly stressed, alcoholic smoker who puts every strain on the body imaginable. I love Red Blood Cell AA2153 and his co-workers, but man am I glad we get the regular Cells At Work airing this season too, because I need something fun and uplifting after seeing my sweet son go through hell every episode. 

*Heaven’s Design Team: Have you ever wondered how God came up with some of the weird ass animals that live on this planet? Like, what’s the deal with giraffes? And why can’t we have dragons and flying horses? Well this is a comedy about the engineers and designers in heaven creating the new animals that are going to inhabit the Earth. That’s it, that’s the show. It’s kind of in the same vein as Cells At Work, having comedy blend with a surprising amount of educational information. If you want something light and funny, this is the show for you (though I don’t think it needs to have full length episodes). I’m just hoping there’s an episode about how the hell the platypus was created. Also it’s the only new one available on Crunchyroll.

Horimiya: A romantic comedy about a girl named Hori who fits the image of a perfect queen bee and a quiet bespectacled boy named Miyamura who never makes an impression at school. When the two meet by chance outside of the classroom, we see that Hori is practically raising a younger brother by herself, and Miyamura is actually a sweet guy who happens to be covered in tattoos and piercings. This show is an exercise in breaking down the images people have of others in their minds, and it’s a concept that really hits home in a fun and meaningful way. Honestly, this has become one of my immediate favorites. The characters have great chemistry, and I can’t wait to see more of them!

Monster Incidents (Kemono Jihen): When big shot Tokyo detective Inugami is called to a rural town to investigate a series of strange animal deaths, he finds a mysterious boy with the nickname Dorotabo who has been shunned by the other children in town. As the detective gets closer to Dorotabo, he discovers that there may be more...inhuman secrets to the boy than he realizes...and Dorotabo discovers that Inugami has some secrets of his own. This is a hard show to sell without spoiling the first episode, but it had twists and turns that kept me engaged from start to finish. I’m really interested to see where the plot goes, because I thought this was going to be something totally different just from the PV and series summary. If it plays its cards right, this could be a great paranormal detective show!

Wonder Egg Priority: A psychological drama about a girl named Ai who starts having dreams about a mysterious egg that promises to give her what she wants most in the world...a true friend. Before long, she begins to see how the dream world and reality are tied together, and trippy antics ensue. It’s hard to say more without spoiling anything, but I had to go back and add this one in because I made the mistake of thinking it was an OVA when it’s actually a full series. And what a series it’s starting out to be. This anime has all the psychological discomfort of a Satoshi Kon product with the beauty and style of something from Kyoani (even though it’s made by Clover Works). It’s really one of those anime you just have to see to understand.

Sk8-∞ (Skate the infinity): An original skateboarding anime from Bones, featuring a typical sports anime protagonist who takes a new transfer student who has never skateboarded in his life under his wing. Together they compete in dangerous races and take the skating community by storm. The character designs rival Appare Ranman’s in outlandish creativity, and I can smell the main characters’ ship dynamic a mile away (considering they’re exactly the same as the protagonists from Robihachi). If you’re looking for some wild and crazy fun with top notch skateboarding animation, don’t skip this!

2.43: Seiin Koukou Danshi Volley-bu (Seiin High School Boys Volleyball Club): Yes, it’s another volleyball anime. And no, it’s not just a clone of Haikyu. This story follows Yuni Kuroba, a physically built but emotionally weak teenager who finds out his childhood friend Hajime is moving back to their hometown for high school. Yuni discovers Hajime has become an exceptional volleyball player and they join their school’s volleyball club hoping to turn the unknown team into a rising star. If anything, this anime is much more like Stars Align or Free, where the sport is a backdrop for letting the characters explore their personal problems. Or at least it seems that way after the first episode. I went into this show ready to throw it in the trash because how could anything compete against my beloved Haikyu, but I found myself really enjoying the dynamics of the main duo and I’m curious to see what the rest of the team is like.

And speaking of sports anime rip-offs…..I can’t believe I’m including this but…

Skate Leading Stars: The show where the animators clearly wanted to design another throw away idol anime but saw how popular Yuri On Ice was so they decided to make whatever the hell this show is instead. It revolves around a fictional team sport called skate leading, and we follow the world’s most insufferable main character, a former figure skater named Kensei who wants to return to the ice and join his school’s skate leading team after he finds out his childhood rival is going to compete in the sport. Look, this show is just trashy enough to get a certain type of audience hooked, and it mainly has to do with the best boy of the winter season, Hayato Sasugai, the aspiring team “coach” who pulled most of us into watching this show with his punk appearance, snide comments and smug personality. He’s basically the lovechild of Izaya Orihara and Shizuo Heiwajima in a high school sports anime setting. The show treats itself with the perfect amount of sincerity to get away with being absolutely ridiculous most of the time without making you feel like you’re watching it from a dumpster...like Try Knights. You will know after one episode whether this show is for you. All I can say is, Hayato is worth the watch, and I haven’t seen any 3D animation used for the skating scenes (yet) so that’s a win for me. 

Honorable mention:

Jobless Reincarnation ( Mushoku Tensei): Yet another isekai where the main character is hit by a car (big surprise) and gets reincarnated into a fantasy world...but he happens to remember his previous life and narrates himself growing up as a jaded adult. I’m only including this because it looked amazing animation wise, and I love the opening where getting hit by a car and dying is actually traumatic. And I love the protagonist’s parents (who are retired adventurers who just want to bang all the time). But honestly...the main character is the fucking worst, and I don’t know if I want to keep watching it because of how creepy and weird he is. Like...he’s the hit on your fantasy mom as a baby kind of creepy and weird. But for anyone who wants a cool looking isekai that had an amazing PV, it’s worth checking out. 

Continuing Series!

Because the real gold of the season is in all the established anime getting their next seasons, I’m just going to list some of the things that are also amazing and definitely worth checking out if you haven’t already (because I’ve already talked about most of them at some point and don’t know what else to say).

Attack On Titan season 4

The Promised Neverland season 2

Beastars season 2

Log Horizon season 3

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime season 2

Re: Zero season 2 (second cour)

Dr. Stone season 2

Cells at Work season 2

Osomatsu-san season 3 (second cour)

Higurashi New (second cour)

Jujutsu Kaisen (second cour) 

Not to mention all the shows I don’t watch that everyone else loves...like World Trigger (which I have seen quite a bit of, but long shounen shows are too much for me now) Quintessential Quintuplets, and Non Non Biyori. 

So there’s just some of all the anime airing this season. Hopefully, someone can find something they like. Here’s to a great year...well, of anime at least...

[littlespoonevan]

(and this is a different conversation but the possibility of their love confession happening way before the first kiss????? i’m obsessed. also in that case i’d need buck to initiate it if eddie was the one to drop the ily but again that’s for a different post askjfhsaskdfj)

Hello I am here to be an enabler about this part bc you got me like 👀 🍿

askdjfhas i was hoping someone would ask me about this bc as soon as i pressed post i was like 'wait i care about this idea way more than i thought i did' lmao. blame this on me rewatching buck actually this afternoon and wanting them to get their romcom moment

okay so. alternative scenario. if we got a situation where eddie realises he's in love with buck in the s5 finale and the idea didn't actually scare him, i would kill for a love confession that completely takes buck by surprise

because right now i feel like buck won't even let himself consider the possibility that he might be in love with eddie. because it's always been there, y'know??? the feeling has existed inside him for so long he's never really thought to examine what it means beyond the general devotion he has to eddie and chris

so imagine a scenario where eddie finally feels confident enough to admit it. where he wants to tell buck because he needs buck to know. because he needs buck to understand his worth in eddie's life (and oh what a beautiful parallel that would be to the 4x14 hospital conversation) and buck is just. completely fucking bowled over. because he doesn't expect it????????? and he doesn't even know how to begin to process it because how could eddie - beautiful, wonderful, incredible eddie - look at buck and see that kind of love??? how could he see buck's fucking trainwreck of a love life and want to be a part of that???

and eddie's so fucking patient and soft (like i'm talking season 4 fond faces dialled up to 1000) and he squeezes buck's wrist and says, "i'm not expecting anything here. you can take your time deciding what this means to you. if it means anything at all."

and buck nods, dazed, because he loves eddie, of course he does, but he suddenly doesn't know in what way and he just- he needs to think and he can't do that with eddie watching him with those gentle eyes. so he leaves but he stops in eddie's doorway first, eyes wide and scared, and says, "i'm coming back. no matter what i- whatever i- i'm coming back, okay?"

and eddie smiles and nods and says, "i know, buck," in the exact same way he says "i know you did" in 4x05

and anyway buck leaves  has an absolute breakdown to maddie in the next episode because his head is a mess and maddie just sort of watches amusedly as buck paces back and forth across her living room rambling his way through every significant moment he and eddie have ever had since the moment they first met. and eventually when he pauses to take a breath maddie's just like. "evan, sweetie. it kind of sounds like you're in love with him."

to which buck stops dead in his tracks and says, "oh my god i love him. oh my god, maddie, i'm in love with him."

and he obviously doesn't stick around because he has to tell eddie!!!!!!

so he fucking runs back to the diaz house because he can't make eddie wait any longer and he's so frantic he can't even think about fitting his key in the lock so he just starts banging on the door and eddie opens it looking completely confused. and buck just lets out this breathless, "hi." and eddie laughs and says hi back.

"you told me you loved me."

eddie ducks his head, hides a tiny smile. "i remember."

"i didn't answer you."

and eddie isn't going to push him, isn't going to ask for something buck doesn't want to give him, but buck steps through the threshold and into eddie's space and suddenly they're nose to nose and eddie's hand slips off the door handle and finds purchase on buck's hip and buck meets eddie's gaze head on, eyes steadfast and so, so sure and says, "i'm in love with you too." and they kISS and they're smiling into each other's mouth and buck starts walking them backwards and eddie kicks the front door closed with his foot and they're home 😭

[blazernot]

The Magnus Archives Season 4

Okay so i like just finished the finale so my thoughts are very scattered but bear with me

John, my beloved, was trying so hard this season. But sadly he was stuck in a basement full of women that hated him. He tries but he's also a massive hypocrite. "We need to communicate" oh that's rich coming from you. He just kept making stupid decisions and never thought anything through. He is a disaster but it's very entertaining and I love him.

I of course love all the girlies. My favorite was definitely Daisy, if you've been following my liveblogs it's kinda obvious. But everyone else was also great. I love super spy Bashira. I feel really bad for Melanie choosing to blind herself but I also completely understand her decision. I hope her and Georgie can have peace, somehow.

Martin!! It was so weird seeing him be like the main thing this season. It made sense though since he always was the guy in the backround so it was nice to have him be center stage. It's also so sad that that's what tipped him off to the plan, he's not some chosen on hero. The lonely is honestly really fitting sadly. It was also so strange to watch him bite back at times and push John away, I'll get back to this later.

Peter is so entertaining, I mean Elias was as well but Peter with his "Grubby Jesus" and "Pet Murderer" stole my heart. They really are just a bickering divorced couple. Their fight in the tunnels was peak custody battle energy with Martin just awkwardly in the corner.

I love monster John, it's so eerie. Like that one lady and her encounter was so, eheheh, like I didn't want to believe John would do that, but of course he would. Everyone being scared of him, especially since last season John declared that he would trust them and be better, but I also don't blame them.

I did not believe that the Daisy rescue would work- but gosh I'm happy it did. I adore her. She's probably dead now after the finale but I have to hope. That whole thing was tense, but now they are the dirt duo and friends because who else is there to be friends with. They listen to bad radio shows its great.

OKAY SO- back in season one I thought stuff like "Oh the fandom totally ships John and Martin even though they hate each other" because that's what fandom does and that's a very popular dynamic. And I thought it would just stay like that?? Like it would be meek Martin and annoyed John and that would be their permanent dynamic. Looking back that was a stupid assumption but I'm used to ships like that going nowhere. But NO and oh my gosh I didn't think about John and Martin's relationship this much until this season. It was the pining the "I'm doing this for you" "I miss you" "I'm here if you need me" the distance that made it so clear that you're the only person that could get me, Martin defending John when he talked to Georgie. John wanting the two of them to gouge their eyes out and escape together. Then- THEN the finale where John once again saved someone he loved from impossible odds. And like, they're canon right? Like they openly love each other? They stayed in a hideout together for weeks and Martin tells him about cows he sees on his walks. Like what else could you want. I'm certain the fandom went mental

I'm also certain they went mental over the finale, like I currently am. I want, no, need Elias dead. I did not expect him to be the finale boss. Like what. I was wondering what a beholding ritual would even do or be, but I guess I got some kind of answer.

But seriously I hate Elias- Tim died for NOTHING. Tim died for literally no reason. So much of this could've been stopped but no. Brilliant plan though, like as it was being read off I was speakless. Like I am shook to the core, Yonah and Eli can testify they saw me go mental on discord. I kept expecting Martin to walk back in just on time to stop everything but no. And now we're screwed and I have no idea how this series will end but it'll be with a bang that's for sure

[brionysea]

hi! sorry for the brother, i'm reading your posts about mike of st, and thank god you don't ship him with anyone, so i'd like to know a neutral opinion about a writing choice made for him in season 3 where it was show mike say sorry to el for lying to her, while he did not the same for will. It was show an attempt, but in the end the writers choose that mike didn't brother with an actual apology to will. In my opinion mike show his love through his actions, more than his words, and that's the point of his arc in season 4.

(yea mike apologizes to will in season 4 but for his actions at the rick o mania, but he never say anything about the fight of s3, so mike meant those words even if he was a bit rude the way he said them :/)

Thank you for your answer,

have a nice day :)

yeah you're right anon, i don't really care about ships. like, i do, but in an Intellectual, "what does this reveal about their characters?" way, which is definitely not the vibe for most of this website. i'm just here for mike tbh

it took me a second to remember the apology you were talking about. the thing is, like with most of season 3, mike kind of had to have his hand held through it to get there. it was mostly lucas doing his whole wingman thing but max was also put in a position of trying to get mike to do better (even if she was more shouty about it). i see that scene and mike's realisation that he needs to get over himself ("i like that you and max are friends now") as him taking all max's comments about el being a person and not his little pet that he can just hide in the basement to heart and realising she's right. it also goes the other way with max and mike working together to protect el when they're trapped in starcourt, since that was mike's side of the argument

and the way mike says he was jealous of el spending time with max and that's assumed to be romantic... this was the same episode as robin told steve that her being jealous wasn't because she had a crush on him. and there's been a lot of platonic jealousy on this show - lucas over mike and el; mike over lucas, dustin and max; steve over dustin and eddie; eddie over dustin and steve. like, it's not that out there, i'm just saying. friendships matter on this show

and with will... honestly, i think mike was trying not to think about him during season 3. and even though the season 3 apology was never heard, by doing that in the first place, mike was doing what max said ex boyfriends should do when dumped - come crawling back, begging for forgiveness. mike was... very unbothered after el dumped his ass. but when will tells him he's ruining the party and runs off? mike bikes to the other side of town in the middle of a storm, bangs on the door like his life depends on it, and immediately starts begging for forgiveness. max said that in the same episode. i cannot stress enough how much i don't care about the love triangle, there are too many of them in this show and they're boring every time, but just looking at those two reactions when el and will respectively decide they're done with him... yeahhhh, it's telling

also, i think that season 4 apology was meant to encapsulate everything that's gone wrong between them. it's the only way mike saying "the past year has been weird" makes any sense to me, outside of these two just being overdramatic teenagers for no reason; things were weird before the byers moved (which we know they were, because mike was acting like a total jerk and ignoring anyone whose name wasn't el for months), we're just not allowed to see why because mike's pov is holding way more secrets than el's or will's are

back when i first watched season 4, before my brain decided to latch onto mike wheeler for no reason, most of his scenes just bored me to sleep because all he would talk about was el, and he didn't feel like himself in those scenes. i specifically remember thinking that the most mike scene in the season was the "friends, best friends" scene, because i just enjoy him so much more when he's with will. it lets him be all the things i love about his character, strong and brave and smart and caring, and when he's with el, mike himself feels like he can't be any of those things. and that goes the other way too; el was putting on a front for mike, pretending to be happy and normal when she's not

i care about these characters being able to be themselves and just be enjoyable to watch, on an entertainment level, and when mike and el are together romantically all they do is bring each other down and hurt each other constantly. mike doesn't get el's experience with bullying, doesn't get that girls do it in subtler ways, and that el was reacting to months worth of being poked at. el doesn't get mike's experience with bullying, tells him that he doesn't get it, when she was literally there the day a bully made homophobic comments towards him (whether mike is interpreted as queer or not, that was homophobic bullying) and later forced him off a cliff. bullying is one of the first things they bonded over way back in season 1. it feels important that they've lost that ability to communicate (about this and many other things) now that their relationship has shifted

i don't "ship" mike with anyone, but by god i need them both out of that relationship because all they're doing is hurting each other. if byler lets mike stop being so heart breakingly depressed all the time - which i think it would, because if anyone could see through mike's bullshit of pushing people away because he doesn't think he deserves them and realise he's hurting too, it would be will "too selfless for his own good" byers - then i'm all for it. also, a queer relationship as central as byler on a show this big makes me kinda giddy to think about

[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

Would it be to much to ask for a Eren scenario where both he and the reader are both equally toxic, manipulative and possessive over eachother but both just cannot let the other go to the point where even when they reunite when Eren escapes the survey corps he asks her to tell him if anyone else whether it was the army or the jeagerists, if they had touched her even if it was just to escort her which she just nods and refuses to tell him any names cuz she likes to see him riled up by her having been "corrupted" and seeing how with a single act she can have him on edge and he falls for her even more by her devious and selfish wiles to have him get irritated and angry but only to end up wanting more of her charms.

Just some good dark angtsy feels all around🖤

A/N: just a little drabble. i've never done canon-verse stuff for AOT so this was fun to try. thank you sending this ask. i did deviate from your ending a little bit so im sorry <3

Warning: AoT Season 4 Spoilers, extreme possessive behavior, toxic relationship, anger issues, gaslighting/manipulating

Eren can feel himself getting restless. Hange had been getting on his nerves. He was the literally the only reason they had secured their victory against Marley on multiple fronts. She and the rest of the fucking Survey Corps should be bending over backward in gratitude.

He cracks his knuckles although he had no need to, wanting to focus on a physical sensation. His thoughts eventually circle back to you. He misses you sorely.

In Marley, there was this kind child Falco. Eren could say he felt guilty for manipulating the poor boy. But that's not true. He's shed that part of humanity a long time ago. All's fair in war after all.

The fair-haired boy was worried about his friend, didn't want a certain special someone of his to become titanized.

Is this other candidate a girl?

Eren had asked. Because he could relate to the Marelyan child. There was a girl he was trying to protect too, who he'd raise hell over, who he'd destroy the world for.

The dark-haired boy can feel himself grow restless. There are a million things to do. Coups to start. Militia to gather. A brother to manipulate. A world to ruin.

But first, he needs to see you. It's already been so long. He had barked orders to Floch to make sure you were safe and secure. If any hair off your pretty little head was misplaced-well no one wants to witness the rage of the Founding Titan's holder.

CRASH

The ground shakes. Eren closes his eyes and lets the Warhammer titan's power course through his veins. Foolish to think any prison could ever hold him.

He's walking uphill. The sunset bathes the land in vibrant pinks, oranges, and light violets. There is a crowd of people standing tall and at attention, postures rigid, save for one.

You hurl towards him at the speed of light and twice the fury, wrapping your arms around his neck. If Eren wasn't six feet of hard muscle, he would have been knocked off his feet from the vigor of your crushing embrace.

"Eren!" You cry out.

The attack titan vessel is too shocked to respond. He's been anticipating your presence for the longest but to finally feel you in the flesh and to smell your soft pretty scent was sending him into overdrive. He couldn't believe you were tangible and not some hauntingly beautiful apparition.

He wraps his arms around you, enveloping your body in his warmth, and you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He feels your nimble fingers toying with his hair.

"I like this new look. It suits you." You mummer.

"Like me without a shirt too?" Eren teases.

He forgot how easy it was to be himself around you, to joke and laugh like he wasn't planning a global genocide of epic proportions. No, even that's an understatement. His goal was an omnicide, utter annihilation. Only Paradis will be left after the ashes settle. A Paradis with you.

"What are you thinking about?" You ask, eyes wide with an untouched innocence that Eren doesn't know how you still possess. All of that eager wide-eyed optimism had been snuffed out from all of his friends. From him. But you, you don't change like the seasons or winds. You're you.

And that was going to be his ruin.

After the Yeagerists brief him on what happened with Zackley and Zeke Yeager's possible whereabouts, Eren gives into his overwhelming urges to see you.

He approaches your chambers, trying to conceal his impatience with soft knocks. You don't answer which irritates him, so he knocks louder and louder, the sound of his fist banging against the door sounding like thunderclaps.

Where the fuck are you? Were you with someone right now? He knew you were getting a little too friendly with Floch from the way you guys were talking at dinner. It was so obvious. He's been gone, for what, a few months and you're already whor-

The door opens and exposes a sleepy-looking girl whose rubbing one of her eyes. Admittedly, very adorable.

"Eren" Your voice is saccharine, "Do you need anything?"

He lets himself in, and shuts the door behind him, locking it in place.

"I don't usually lock the door," You pout but there's a playfulness in your expression that Eren would have noticed had he not been consumed by rage.

"What? So you let anyone in?" He asks, nearly snarling out the words. as he stares scandalized at your slip of a nightgown. A pale translucent pink that reached the middle of your thighs. He could even make the outline of your nipples poking through.

"No, silly." You giggle, twirling the hem of your dress, "Floch's security measure." You pretended not to notice how Eren's fist clenches.

"Is that so?" Eren said, words spoken between gritted teeth. As long as Eren was here, there need be no concerns over security measures. But he knew Floch. The ginger worshipped the ground Eren walked on and would never make a move on you if he cared about his limbs staying intact.

You sat down on your bed and Eren couldn't help but watch your skimpy dress ride up your creamy thighs.

He stood over you, his form looming over yours as you sat on your bed, feet swinging above the ground.

"I wanted to ask you something."

You look up with those big childlike eyes, "Okay."

"Did. Anyone. Touch. You?" His voice is low and he punctuates each word slowly.

You blink "What do you mean?” But there’s a coy smile tugging at the corner of your lips.

"Quit playing dumb." He growls, anger evident in the crease between his eyebrows.

You're quiet for a still moment, mouth opening and closing. Eren's anxiety increases more each second and it finally boils over when you softly ask, "What kind of touch?"

Like a chess piece topping over, he shoves you down the bed, pinning your wrists with his strong hands.

Usually, Eren was smarter. Quicker to call you on your tricks. But alas, absence makes the heart fonder. You love making him lose his stoic composure, so lost in his lust and desire for you that all he can see crimson. And if the price for that is to play the fragile maiden, it is what it is.

"Ow." You pitifully whine, lightly shaking your right hand. Eren knew he wasn't holding you too hard so he experimentally thumbs over a certain spot on your right wrist, eliciting another small whimper. He brings your wrist closer to him and finds a purple bruise.

"Who touched you? Was is it any of the yeagerists?" His voice is deadly calm but an ice-cold rage simmers in his eyes. You can feel yourself growing excited, heat pooling in the bottom of your stomach. You’re rubbing your legs together for the friction but Eren assumes it a nervous tic to avoid answering any of his questions.

When you avert your gaze and simply look the side, he delicately cradles your cheek: “Was it the scouts?”

The delicate touch turns harsher when you don't respond, forcing your pretty head to look straight at him. He sees your eyes glistening, and when he looks into your dewy irises, he can see himself.

His voice drops a pitch, "Please tell me."

Your breathing is shallower and you can't help but enjoy this so much.

It's been so long since you've seen him-since you begged him not to go but he went anyway, and having him here right now--the pride and joy of the Eldian empire , the holder of the Founding Titan-unravel in your fingertips, well this was the closest to true power you've ever been.

Eren can feel his patience sleeping, anger seeping into his bones at your silence, and the bruise on your delicate wrist only serves to anger him further. He can't even do what he swore to do and that was to keep you safe.

"Are you not telling me who it is because you're protecting them?"

The words are delivered deadly calm with the tension of a brewing storm behind it. You're nervous, exactly aware of what your beau is capable of, but the excited kind of nervous where butterflies are swarming in your stomach.

Maybe you underestimated his anger because within a second, the telltale red lines start to form under his eyes, lightning bright sparks forming between each breath.

Without thinking, you envelop the back of his head with one arm (the other hand rendered useless bu the force of his hold), trying to bring his head into the softness your breasts.

Understanding your gesture, Eren immediately calms down and lets himself be smothered in your chest like a babe being cradled in his mother's warmth.

"There, there" you coo, words soft and melodious on your tongue.

You can feel wet-spots on your nightie, "Eren...are you-" you begin, not sure when to end.

His voice is tightly controlled as if not let his coiled emotions fuse again, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was about to hurt you." He sounds so broken, and all you can do is stroke his hair.

You press a kiss to his head. You know what the right words to say are. You should be comforting him and assuring him he could never hurt you.

Instead you stay silent, softly exhaling. He can't see the pleased smile on your face.

*

"Your wrist feeling any better?"

You whip up your head to see Floch whose peering down at you in slight concern. You must have looked confused because he elaborated, "The one you accidentally banged against the doorway. Looked like it hurt."

"Oh." You pause, looking down at the fresh set of finger shaper marks overtaking the fading violet.

You laugh airily, "Yeah it's alright."

[jimkirkachu]

Hey Jim, I'm really proud of you for coming out to your family & I'm sorry they're not making the effort to help you understand yourself. I know how difficult it is to settle into your identity is when you have to figure it out yourself & having people repeatedly misgender you makes it even harder. I also hope you don't take the negative AO3 comment to heart & just delete it. I'm sure if you read the rest of your inbox, you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Oh my friend 🫂💔😭💙💛 thank you so much for your encouragement. You're so kind and good to me and I don't deserve it but I love you so much 🫂💜😭😭😭

(gender stuff, fandom-related insecurity/paranoia/self-pity ahead)

People have told me before that it's okay for me to vent here because nobody is being forced to read this crap or follow me, but I still feel like a douche canoe any time I complain here about anything that has to do with my "real life," because I'm so incredibly fortunate and privileged. At least outwardly, my (closest) family has accepted my nb-ness / questioning and I'm overwhelmingly grateful for that. I haven't been disowned, or kicked out of the house, or laughed at... like I said, enormous unearned privilege/good fortune. And ironically, having a few people "in the know" who are still talking to/about me the way they did for 31 years, while frustrating, has genuinely been helping me better understand that I definitely don't identify with my birth-assigned gender or its pronouns anymore, if I ever really did at all. 🤔 It seems to be a matter now of "how long can I continue to pretend the misgendering doesn't bother me when it's coming from my parents," because, lest we forget, I'm still intensely nonconfrontational, afraid of being an inconvenience or a burden to others, terrified of taking up space or standing up for myself, and thoroughly convinced of my own utter worthlessness. 😬

As for the ao3 comment that I have no doubt blown way out of proportion 🤦😣 I'm... I don't know. It has finally taken a backseat in my mind to other concerns, so that's an improvement. But it's going to take a long time to dust myself off from all of this; the comment in question was really just the straw that broke my back after spending the last 2 years having an extremely prolonged existential crisis in regards to my "place" (or lack thereof) in the fandom. I've been feeling really bad/lousy/insecure about my work and my ability to "fit in" or contribute (without also annoying people to death) ever since an incident in the 2020 big bang discord server got under my skin and has just kept on burrowing into my mind and soul like a poisoned splinter ever since.

I don't write fics that are appropriate / desirable / worthy of inclusion in zines or rec lists or what-have-you. I don't know anything about any of the new Trek series or characters or timelines or whatever the hell else because I went and got my ptsd triggered while watching season 1 of Discovery and had to promise myself not to watch anything else produced by the current franchise-runners in the interest of self-preservation. And original series K/S is my only ship, my only fandom interest, the only [hyper-]fixation I've had for at least 6 years now. The harsh fact that I'm simply out of touch and irrelevant has been making me question why I'm even still trying to maintain any kind of online presence at all... and yet my fics and my online friends here have been essentially the only things that have motivated me to keep Living in the last 4+ years. 🤔 So... I'm a mess all over, and not just because of that comment (it clearly didn't help matters any, though). 🤦🤷 (And yet and yet... being a mess is my Thing, like, it's the one thing I'm consistently good at. So although it sucks, I'm also accustomed to it, in a lot of ways. 🙁😬👍)

Thank you, as always, dear, for being my friend and saying such sweet, generous things. I love you (and everybody who has put up with the pain of knowing/interacting with me 💜), and given the especially difficult past few months (both personally and in regards to the state of the US and the world), I'm just really, really grateful to know I'm not alone. 💜🫂💜🫂 Take care, you. 🖖🫂💛💙