#I have barely slept this week

[honey-olive]

Is that… Deathpierce??

And Deldry??…

[from-the-owls-nest]

open starter?

you hear a quiet knock at your cabin door. When you open it, you see a little girl/child in a big hoodie sitting on the doorstep. It's pulled its legs to the chest into a little ball, looking panicked and having visibly cried.

"... help?"

taglist @nico-sees-dead-people @dr-flipflops @the-eclipse-is-in-me @quinn-is-victory @demigod-jack-hearth other tags i cant remember

[stealingpotatoes]

In your Family Fix-it AU, does Ahsoka re-join the order or is she still, in Mace Windu's words, a civilian?

yeah I do think she would!!! in season 7 ik she says smthn like "not yet" abt being a jedi to yoda, so yeah, I do think she intended to join again if the order kinda��� became more what she originally thought it was. so doesn't rejoin immediately, probably a few years after the twins are born and when the Jedi have solidified themselves as a peaceful organisation again and ahsoka feels emotionally ready herself to rejoin

but getting to that point is difficult. made even more difficult bc obvs in this au, Anakin's ALSO left the order! so she partly doesn't want to go back out of her own pride, but also partly doesn't wanna go back bc of his pride. is it a betrayal to go back to the order both of them left?

she and anakin discuss this at some point (probably on a nighttime balcony or smthn for the aesthetic) and he basically explains he left for very different reasons to her. he left because he knew he personally wasn't a fit for the jedi with the whole wife and family thing, but ahsoka left bc of insitutional stuff. if she thinks its better now then she has anakin's blessing (they both know she doesn't need it but hey, it's nice to have that support from her big bro)

[the-satellite]

I am thinking about. The blood n knife n alcohol in Boone's room. And the broken mirror.

[phantaloon]

i cant stop thinking about like apart from lore wise, what this means in a more mental / psychological interpretation

bc like the entirety of trench and the dema story, it's all been about learning to fight your demons, about learning how to overcome and how to stand up after falling and how to find a way to keep going

in trench it was fighting, finding purpose, finding that strength and that spark to cope in a way

sai was all about distractions, about faking it til you make it, about well if i tell myself everythings okay everything is going to be okay, only for it to end in the same themes blurryface had going on kinda, with fear and anxiety and grief for the things you've lost, of losing more, of losing yourself

and with clancy, those themes about anxiety and fear and depression are stronger than they were in trench even, clancy is about falling back into patterns you thought you left behind and struggling to get back on track, but ultimately knowing that you had a support network, that you weren't alone, that you can start fresh and push on through and that you have people who love you on the other side

and then the end of paladin strait happened

you're back in the hands of fear, of insecurity, of anxiety, but this time you're going to take those feelings and claim them back and you're not going to bend for them anymore

but then

putting things into real world words, what does the line and the theories of clancy becoming a bishop truly mean?

it can't be that you are now the one who causes insecurity and fear and anxiety, can it? bc then what would be the point

i dont really participate much in dema lore talks bc honestly im quite behind on it, but still, it doesn't really make sense, for the end of it to mean that it's now us who are in the place of the bishops, that its now us who will inflict these feelings

and really, with the theories of clancy becoming a bishop booming lately, i genuinely thought oh this is going to be a situation where clancy is in power, and he's going to change things, he's going to preach about better things, essentially doing tylers role irl

so like, for me it symbolizes getting to a point where you're replacing old people of power with bigoted and old fashioned and hurtful ways of thinking and doing and speaking, with these ideals of respect and resilience and self love and just you know, everything twenty one pilots stand for

but with the line, it feels as if whatever clancy is becoming, it's not something the object of the song is particularly proud of

its not something about winning and persevering

its about giving in, about apologizing for not being able to make it, about settling for the path of least resistance

its regretful and sorrowful and grieving

so what does that mean for clancy? what does that mean for us?

[icewindandboringhorror]

Some (late) holiday photos of the boye~!

[detentiontrack]

btw just giving this disclaimer preemptively: if i start posting weird things (or weirder things than normal) i promise i didn’t relapse and i promise i’m still sober. i’ve been sober for a while now. my bipolar is just getting bad again and i might be going into an episode

[ana-rends]

i would rather live with ana for the rest of my life than binge like this ever again

[dandyshucks]

little man on an adventure :]

[rinnstars]

me rn

[irhabiya]

today sucked the life out of me ya Allah

[eldragon-x]

urgh

[kingtankgirl]

this is officially worse than when i had e.coli i can definitely say that now

[lieutenantselnia]

I finally finished and handed in my thesis on Friday and it felt like such an incredible relief😭 I think I haven't felt so at peace in literal months because it was constantly looming over me but I felt too paralysed with fear to start writing. BUT that's finally over now! I still need to do my final exam now but that's only in October. Also I've started my master's degree programme on Thursday (at the same university that's why I could start despite not actually having my bachelor's degree yet) and I'm actually already looking forward to my classes :D

I feel like it really affected my mental wellbeing during that time though and especially in the last few months I found it much harder to keep in contact with online friends or even just go on social media, I got overwhelmed much more easily and it just felt too exhausting :( I lowkey feel bad for all the self ship postings and art and fanfics that I missed😭 So please, take this as a free pass to come into my inbox and gush about your f/o(s)! I'd love to hear about them🫶

[3amsnek]

just a lil guy,,,, who has been trapped in my drafts for three months. oh dear.

click for better quality

reblogs >> likes

[indiegame]

hate coming back so late, i miss watching the sunset and getting to sit on the porch until im too tired or have smth creepy happen