#I have avoided most spoilers so far so I’m literally going into this blind | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

blossom-hwa · 4 years ago

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pirate!ateez |2|

The continuation of the pirate ateez au inspired by pretty much every wonderland stage and the kingdom wonderland performance!! Once again credits to mai @wingkkun for the ideas that sparked san, mingi, and yeosang’s stories!

(Reading part 1 isn’t required to understand what happens here; however, there are spoilers for previous members�� stories!!)

Pairing: Ateez x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 11.9k (total)

Genre: some fluff, mostly angst, pirate!au

Triggers: cursing, blood and death (sometimes semi-graphic) - specific triggers for each section are listed below the header!

Part 1 (Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho, Yeosang) | Part 2 (San, Mingi, Wooyoung, Jongho)

Ateez Masterlist

san (ABS - specialty in swordsmanship)

warnings: cursing

so. san.

poor dude i put him through a lot in hongjoong’s part :/ he didn’t deserve that i’m sorry san

but let’s start from the beginning

unlike some of the others, san has only ever known the streets. he has no memory of real parents, just various random caretakers who ended up causing him more harm than good

there are two singular exceptions to this during san’s childhood: you and an older pirate named jongin

you’ve been there ever since san can remember. even now he’s not entirely sure how or when you two met, he must’ve been very young, but he just knows you’ve been with him for what feels like forever

the two of you wandered the streets together, begging and stealing food whenever you could

it only makes sense that you two would fall in love once you were old enough to understand it (which comes a little later than either of you would’ve liked - you’re probably sixteen or seventeen when you get the guts to press san against a wall and kiss him like person starved as san kisses back with just as much fervor)

when you were still together, it sometimes felt like you were the only reason san could stay alive

you mean the world to each other. the literal world

so that’s you - someone san knows will never abandon him willingly, will always stay by his side as long as they can

now uh moving on to jongin

you two were young when you tried to pickpocket him that one time

immediately it was clear you’d messed with the wrong guy - he noticed you two immediately and you were caught

but surprisingly, all he did was smile and offer to buy you something to eat

and being the hungry children you were (san thinks you were around twelve at the time) you said yes without a second thought

luckily jongin didn’t have any ulterior motives - in fact, he taught you and san to become better pickpockets, how to take advantage of people’s blind spots and your natural talents

so naturally, he became both of your role model

and because jongin was a pirate, you two resolved to become pirates just like him when you grew older, even asking him to take you on his ship whenever he returned to the city to visit.

but every time, jongin refuses. when you’re younger you kind of accept it, but as you and san grow older you start to insist more and more

there’s nothing left for you two here except a life still on the streets, and isn’t being a pirate pretty much the same? stealing and pillaging, just on the ocean instead of on dry land

neither you nor san flinches at blood, and you can both deal with injuries

but jongin still refuses, finally telling you just how far from heroes pirates really are. they kill and steal, often more than they need, not taking just enough money and food to survive or pass out to those less fortunate the way you and san both do

this kills the dream a little for you and san, though you both come to the conclusion that not all pirates have to be horrible - look at jongin

so you still resolve to become pirates, maybe on a crew that isn’t as terrible as the ones jongin has told you two about

this sort of dream goes on for another year or so. you and san figure out your shit and finally kiss, jongin mock claps when he finds out before disappearing again, you and san wander the streets again still with little aim but your interlocked hands are purpose enough

until you get kidnapped.

san literally almost goes insane when he can’t find you after two days. tears around the city like a man possessed, looking everywhere you might be and then everywhere you definitely aren’t on the off chance he’ll find you

but even when jongin arrives back in the city a few weeks later and joins san’s frantic search, you’re never found

it’s all too much. way too much for san - he’s literally lost the one person who keeps him sane - and honestly the last straw is when jongin asks if he wants to join his crew now

deep inside san knows he means it out of the goodness of his heart. jongin isn’t evil and he’s hurting too with your disappearance, he’s just trying to give san a semblance of a new home

but san explodes. none of this would’ve happened if jongin had taken them in earlier, had let them join the crew together, if he’d even taught them more - it’s his fault, it’s his fucking fault

jongin tries to grab san but he just twists away - jongin’s touch feels like fire burning against his skin - and runs

for how long he runs, san genuinely doesn’t know. he just knows that he can’t stay here, can’t stay in this city anymore

so he becomes somewhat of a highway robber? holding travelers at sword point and demanding what they have

the sword he uses was gifted to him by jongin and it makes him feel sick every time he pulls it out, but even though san is sometimes irrational, he’s not stupid - he needs a weapon, and if this is the only one he has, so be it

doesn’t matter if memories of you and an older pirate come flooding back every time he grips the handle.

san makes a name for himself - people whisper about him, tell travelers to avoid the paths he frequents, but the thing is he doesn’t really frequent anywhere. he’s a wanderer too, which makes him so dangerous because he’s so unpredictable

until hongjoong appears and san makes the mistake of challenging him to a fight.

i say mistake but really, it was probably one of the singularly most life-changing events for san except for 1. meeting you, 2. your disappearance, and 3. leaving jongin

because when hongjoong has his sword positioned over san’s neck and san thinks he’s about to die, hongjoong gives him a choice - join his crew or get his throat cut

san just scoffs at first and is like why would you want a highway robber on your crew? don’t you know who i am?

hongjoong does know, of course - he actually tracked san down because he needed a good swordsman to join his crew and thought san would be perfect

san is on the edge of saying no, but hongjoong is one of three people who’ve ever beaten san in a fight (jongin, you, and now joong) so he’s got a little grudging respect for the guy

but even more than that, he remembers you and remembers your pact to find a semi-decent ship and join the crew

it seems like a childish pact now, but for some reason, once he remembers it, he can’t put it out of his mind

(maybe it’s because if you’re dead, which you probably are, san wants to at least fulfill his part of any promises you made so long ago)

so he says yes

for the first few weeks, san really considers jumping ship

seasickness is a bitch, first of all, even if the ship’s doctor is nice enough to give him tips on how to handle it

but the main issue isn’t just him being sick - it’s the people

not all of them. most are fine. but san has a particular problem with wooyoung and his partner, not because they’re assholes or anything, but because they remind him way too much of him and you. childhood friends who grew up together and wouldn’t part for the world, except they’re still joined at the hip while you’re lost

and san just thinks it’s horribly unfair that you had to be torn away from him while others are allowed to stay together

but really, the ship is better than living on the edge on land. besides woo + his partner, the others are nice, and san has found himself a match in sword fighting with hongjoong and yunho

so as time passes, san acclimates to the ship. he gets closer to everyone there and comes out of his shell, even becoming friends with yeosang whom he previously deemed too close to woo + his partner to deal with

and because yeosang is a package deal with the other two, san eventually becomes friends with them too

for the first time in a long time, san thinks he’s happy, even though he still sorely misses you and wishes you were here. but you’re dead or at least long gone, and he’s not going to find you again

so when you turn up on an enemy pirate ship several years later, san nearly has a heart attack when he sees your face (wooyoung actually has to catch him when he stumbles)

from the widening of your eyes, it’s pretty much the same reaction for you

there’s no fight, at least not then. the town your ships have docked in is safe ground for pirates, meaning the villagers will deal with them but won’t tolerate fights

so your crews resupply, all the while studiously ignoring the pirates from the other ship

but san is itching to talk to you - even just see your face one more time

you look so different yet somehow exactly the same and san wants to know what happened to you - how did you get that scar down the side of your face?

you feel the exact same way.

when you were kidnapped, you were taken on a pirate ship that was far less respectable than hongjoong’s. meaning you went through a fucking lot

you tried to escape at least five times but each time you just got caught, so you eventually gave up. so here you are, ignoring the literal love of your life because your ship is shit and happens to have beef with hongjoong’s

meaning you couldn’t escape if you tried.

so you’ve resigned yourself to mere stolen glimpses of san’s face but then your captain gives all of you a mission

he wants a hostage. and he wants you to lure one of them in.

you don’t want this mission. you fucking hate it and you hate your crew and you don’t want anything more than to just run away so you just ignore it and resolve to subtly sabotage your crewmates’ efforts in any way you can

and for the most part it works

but then you’re on deck, helping one of your crewmates put some supplies away

when a crowd comes on board, bruised and bloodied, and drops choi san onto the wooden floor.

the captain is ecstatic - they’ve managed to catch hongjoong’s best swordsman, no doubt they’ll get a hefty ransom for him

but you’re not listening. all you can do is avoid san’s sharp gaze

and think of a way to help him escape.

the ship sets sail within hours, trying to get away from hongjoong as quickly as possible. san lives his days in one of the tiny cells belowdecks, barely fed between questioning sessions during which he says nothing

but he can feel hope slipping away, day by day - even he can’t break through chains, and even if he could, his sword is gone. five or six pirates he could maybe take alone without a weapon, but there are far more on this ship

still, when the ship finally docks, san has resolved to at least attempt an escape. he knows the captain is in negotiations with hongjoong over getting him back so hongjoong has to be in the same port, or at least nearby

so when��someone opens the cell again, san literally launches himself at them in an aborted attempt to run

you subdue him quickly - you’re not dehydrated and underfed, after all

san just gapes into your face that’s barely lit by a torch on the wall outside his cell. he has so much he wants to say, the first being how could you do this to him, did none of your time together mean anything -

but then you unlock the chains around his wrists, toss him a bundle of fresh clothes, and tell him to get changed

dressed in the new clothes, he looks like a member of the crew, and you tell him to keep his head down as you bring him up out of the ship and into the village

san’s still kind of dumbfounded so when you tell him to run, he doesn’t understand at first. run where?

hongjoong’s ship is in the next port, you say. on foot, it’ll take a few days to get there, so he needs as much of a head start before people realize he’s missing

therefore - you push back his forehead with a finger - fucking run, choi san. i don’t recall you being stupid before.

when he understands, he tries to tell you to come with him - hongjoong’s a decent captain, he’ll probably understand

but you shake your head. you yourself need to leave. once your captain realizes san has disappeared, it’s only a matter of time before you get found out, considering the number of unconscious and dead bodies you left in your wake, and you need to be long gone and away from san before that happens. you’re not going to bring more harm on him again. the least you could do is maybe divert their attention for a while

san’s heart sinks when he realizes you have no intention of coming with him, no matter how much he tries to convince you

and he almost starts crying again - just when he’s finally gotten you back, fate is forcing you to slip through his fingers yet again

you just hug him and apologize for everything, for getting kidnapped, for not helping him escape until now even though none of that is your fault

san says that and more, apologizes for even thinking you’ve changed - he should’ve known you were still the same person he’d fallen in love with so long ago

but there’s no more time and now you’re pushing him away and telling him he needs to go before it’s too late. in the process, you press a blade into his hand.

for protection.

it’s faintly familiar. and when san looks a little more closely, he realizes it’s the blade that jongin gave you so long ago, a copy of the same one he gave san. only the initials etched into the handle are different.

it makes him feel sick. san had switched his blade out for another sword the second he could, too many memories of you and jongin attached to it. but you never stopped using yours.

that knowledge makes his insides burn with shame and he tries to give it back to you but you force him to take it. i have more weapons than just this. you have nothing. and now you need to go.

he kisses you one last time. you kiss him back with just as much fervor and when you break away, there’s a small smile on your lips

you tell him you’re glad he’s found a kind crew, a crew he’ll be happy to remain with. you’re glad he’s luckier than you

san tries to tell you again to come with him, but you shake your head. hongjoong won’t be happy to take in a member of an enemy crew, and even if he was, that’d only turn your ship’s sights on san’s for a long time. you won’t have that.

so you disappear with a last reminder not to be stupid, a wavering smile on your face

it takes everything san has to return to hongjoong’s ship without chasing after you, and he’s welcomed back with open arms and warm words

but despite being back with his family, san’s heart sinks the farther they get from the harbor, knowing that he’ll probably never find out what happened to you, his original family, after this

wooyoung tries to comfort him, saying not to lose hope - after all, you met once after your separation, you might meet again

however, fate isn’t kind. san knows that very well. twice you’ve met, and twice you were separated

san hopes wooyoung is right, hopes he’ll see you once more

but as the ship cuts through the water into the open ocean and land fades from sight...

deep inside, something tells san he won’t.

mingi (ABS)

warnings: cursing

you look me in the eyes and ask how it is possible for me to write angst for someone like mingi. i tell you i will try my best

that is a threat and a promise

anyway! let’s get on with it

mingi is a pure-hearted orphan who has somehow survived the demoralizing and horrible orphanage system in his hometown

he never knew his parents, all he’s ever known was that shitty little orphanage, it’s a miracle that didn’t break apart his pure personality

it helps that from a young age, mingi was taller and bigger than his peers - people didn’t want to mess with him

also when he’s not smiling, he can look pretty scary

but that left mingi lonelier than he wanted to be, so he resolved to smile whenever he could so that people wouldn’t feel intimidated by his stare

it didn’t win him many friends??? like the kids his age were more just weirded out by him smiling when they lived in a fucking orphanage. but he did get more free handouts from adults when he’d pretend to act like a cute kid, so he just kept doing that

eventually when he grew older, maybe mid-teens, he got a job working at his town’s port

mingi’s pretty smart and more importantly here, he’s very strong - just the type of worker his supervisors were looking for

the job is okay - not horrible, but it’s kind of boring and mingi’s supervisors aren’t always the nicest

but mingi’s always been the type of person to just content himself with the fact that hey, things could be worse

he might not have survived the orphanage

he might not have been born with strength

he might not have gotten a job that comes with a semi-stable roof over his head

so for a couple of years, this goes on, mingi helping ships unload and reload, stuff like that

until hongjoong’s ship pulls into port

it normally wouldn’t mean anything if hongjoong hadn’t been half dead on his feet with his partner and seonghwa pretty much carrying him down the gangplank

most people were just shoving them around, totally ignoring the fact that hongjoong clearly needed help

but even though his supervisor told him to go help one of the bigger ships, mingi saw hongjoong and went off to go help them

recommended a cheap place to get rest and offered to help them with some of the ship repairs so they wouldn’t have to pay so much (because their boat was... a little beaten up to say the least)

after a few days, hongjoong recovers from his sickness (brought on by exhaustion, not eating well, and god knows what else - his partner chewed him the fuck out), and they all thank mingi profusely

they’re about to leave then - the ship has been repaired thanks to mingi’s help and they’re ready to set sail again

but a glint appears in seonghwa’s eye and he suddenly turns around and asks mingi if he’d like to come with them

mingi: wha - you mean me?

seonghwa: is there another guy named mingi around?

mingi: i mean technically yeah, there’s a lee mingi working on the other end of the shipyard -

at first mingi’s like... no i don't think so because he has a stable job here, right? nothing really happens and it’s kind of boring, but being a pirate sounds kind of scary

but another part of him has been aching for something more interesting than the monotony of working at the port day in and day out

besides, hongjoong seems like a much nicer person than his supervisors

so in the end, mingi throws caution to the wind and joins the crew

he kind of questions it at first because he really doesn’t seem to have a knack for swordplay, also he kind of tends to panic/get squeamish when there are fights

but seonghwa keeps faith in him no matter what - he was the one to ask mingi if he wanted to stay, after all

so as time goes on and more people join the crew, mingi adjusts to life as a pirate. he finds his role on the ship in making repairs when they’re in port or even when they’re on board, which makes him happy - mingi likes being useful

he also likes jongho, who joins him as one of the ship’s repairmen when he ends up with the crew

he even becomes a fair swordsman - definitely not the best on the ship, not by a long shot, but after being trained by first hongjoong and then yunho (with san occasionally interjecting when he joins the crew), he definitely has the skills to defend himself and others

emphasis on others. because while mingi might panic during a fight where he’s only defending himself, when those he cares for come into play, mingi is a demon. an absolute demon.

an enemy pirate once got within a hair’s breadth of killing seonghwa once and mingi just unleashed absolute fury. first time he ever killed someone

it haunts him sometimes, but the knowledge that he was protecting seonghwa keeps him from dwelling on it too much. that’s how much mingi cares about his crew

and that comes into play when you enter his story

you’re the child of a couple corrupt aristocrats who have never, not once in their lives, given you the attention you deserved

no matter what you did, they didn’t care

you studied your ass off. you worked so hard on swordplay. you’re literally the golden child in the aristocratic circles of your region and other nobles wish you were their child, but all your parents ever do is give you a passing glance and a fake smile

sure they’ll praise you at parties and things when they talk to other nobles, but it’s all empty - they only barely remember all of your accomplishments. they just don’t care

then one day, hongjoong’s crew pisses off your family - ruins trade at some port or whatever

so your father puts a bounty on his crew’s heads

it’s not exactly a common thing to put bounties on the heads of pirates, but it can happen if a crew fucks around a little too much

and when the bounty goes out for the crew of the aurora (hongjoong’s ship), you seize on it as your last chance to gain your parents’ approval, the approval you’ve been seeking for quite literally your entire life

you’re not dumb - you know it’ll be hard, and you know your family is only going to be completely satisfied if you bring back proof that the captain is dead. not some other random crew member, though that’s a step in the right direction

you decide to go for one of those crew members first, preying on the fact that if one goes missing, the captain will likely be easier to capture

you’ve heard stories about hongjoong, he isn’t heartless. he actually does care about his crew, each of whom plays an integral role on the ship

which means if you can get one of them, you can lure him out - you might not even have to kill off the rest of the crew if you can just take him out

therefore you set your eyes on one song mingi. from the rumors he’s the worst at fighting, but he’s also essential when it comes to ship repairs

the perfect target for your plan

so you set out on your journey. your idea is to try and see if you can befriend mingi somehow, get him to trust you, then take him hostage

and somehow, you get lucky at the first port you visit - hongjoong’s ship is right there, aurora emblazoned on its side

it’s not hard to spot mingi - he’s one of the tallest, and he’s busy tinkering around the side of the ship

it’s even easier to get his attention

because your master plan is simple and dumb as fuck

fall into the water and pretend to drown.

mingi, being the pure-hearted lovely soul he is, jumps in to save you despite you being very able to swim

he’s worrying over you when he pulls you out of the ocean, spitting and choking water

and all you can think is 1. mingi is very handsome but more importantly 2. all of this is genuine. like too genuine

it unnerves you - how can a pirate be so pure of heart?

but you push that thought away. there has to be some hidden side of mingi that he hasn’t shown yet, he’s a pirate after all. you can’t feel guilt for using him - you need to gain your parents’ approval. you need to

so you do your damn best to keep him in port. every night you go out and subtly undo some of the repairs he’s made and create a few new problems as well

the ship ends up staying in port for a few more weeks than expected

and during that time, you find that mingi... is really not hiding anything

at all

you keep trying to prod at him when you invite him to bars for a drink, when you “coincidentally” catch him on the streets, etc.

but there’s nothing to mingi except his very kind personality that sometimes, against your better judgement, sweeps you off your feet

like when that horse-drawn carriage almost hit you and mingi pulled you away just in time

or when you bumped into the wrong person and they pulled a knife on you that mingi was fast enough to deflect

by the time those several weeks are over, you haven’t made any headway in your plan to kidnap mingi

you tell yourself that it’s fine, this mission was always going to take a long time - you could be here for over a year before the right opportunity presents itself after all, and mingi probably doesn’t trust you enough just yet for that to work anyway

mingi ends up sailing off again, and he promises to come back

also makes you promise to stay and wait for him.

you tell yourself another lie, that you’re happy he’s asking you to wait just because it’ll make your plan so much easier - plus, it means he likes you, which is a step towards trust

it’s definitely not because mingi’s smile is as bright as the sun itself.

the next time you see the aurora come into port, you swear to yourself you’ll do it this time. you’ll kidnap mingi, force hongjoong to come out so you can put his head on a silver platter

but it doesn’t happen. and the next time it doesn’t happen, either.

and in the end, you have to accept that the reason you keep sabotaging the ship, trying to keep mingi in port as long as you can, is that you like his smile. way more than you actually should.

some stupidly hopeful part of you tries to convince you that it’ll be fine, you can continue living like this

but another part of you knows lies never last

and a last part of you screams that you’re a disappointment to your family, falling in love with one of the pirates your parents have put a bounty on when that pirate probably doesn’t even love you back

he does, though. he really does

mingi loves the curve of your lips when you smile genuinely, when the clouds in your eyes disappear for a moment of pure, blessed happiness

he’s fallen in love with your mind, with your quick wit and light banter when you speak

for the past two trips on the ocean, mingi has dreamed of little more than holding you close and kissing you and he’d resolved to that, finally, when he came back this time

which is why his heart completely shatters when he finds you by the ship one dark night, carefully undoing some of the repairs he made just this morning

he never suspected it, but as he stands, watching you work, the pieces begin to click together

mingi isn’t stupid, after all - he knows you’re smart, knows you’re good with your hands, and you’ve also been extremely secretive about your past

even more secretive than he is about being a pirate.

you sense his presence when he gets closer before he even says anything and your hands freeze

for a moment, neither of you says anything

then mingi just lets out a cracked why?

you could lie. you consider it for a few frantic moments, mind working to conjure something credible

but it’s mingi. it’s fucking song mingi, the pirate you’ve fallen in love with against every single one of your wishes

so the truth behind all of your lies spills out in one go

in the moonlight, you can see mingi’s eyes turn from confused and betrayed to even more betrayed

but what really drives it home is when you mention hongjoong, and how you were trying to use mingi to lure him out

mingi’s eyes turn angry for the first time since you’ve met him

because like i said, mingi doesn’t take kindly to anyone who tries to hurt those whom he cares about

like yeah, he cares about you, but hongjoong is his captain, the captain who’s saved mingi’s life multiple times, often at risk of his own

that’s when mingi’s eyes narrow and his expression turns cold

a chill runs down your back, a chill you’ve never felt before in his presence

and mingi tells you then and there that he better not see you ever again

because if he does, it won’t end well

you’re in the next town before you allow yourself to process anything that just happened, mainly because you know that if you try you’ll start crying

and that’s exactly what happens in a dark little tavern at the edge of the city

you cry over yourself, over losing mingi, over failing your stupid mission for stupid parents who were never going to accept you anyway

you cry because you hurt someone so pure of heart just for two cold aristocrats who didn’t give a shit

you cry because now you have no purpose in life - you’ve catered your entire existence to your parents, and they don’t even care

what’s the point of anything now?

back on the ship, mingi doesn’t cry. he just stares at the fading town as the aurora draws farther and farther from land

your story plays in his mind over and over again

he sympathizes for you, he really does - mingi isn’t cruel or heartless, he heard the desperation in your voice when you talked about your parents and he’s seen the clouds in your eyes firsthand

but it doesn’t change the fact that you’d sought him out with the intention of hurting his crew beyond repair

he tries to tell himself this as comfort, to reaffirm that he did the right thing by chasing you off

deep inside, though, even if he’s sure he did right

the pain of a broken heart and what could have been, he knows, will never fully go away.

wooyoung (ABS)

warnings: cursing, death, blood

before i start i’d like to preemptively apologize

probably should’ve done that before every other part too idk why i'm only doing it now

maybe it’s because this one is 3.4k long and the second longest is a mere 2.8k (fuck you san)

doesn’t matter i've done it please don’t come for me

wooyoung is a ball of pure sunshine aboard the ship. almost literally

sometimes shines a little too bright (ie he gets annoying), but without him, the crew would fall into darkness

but a light needs a source, doesn’t it? it doesn’t just spontaneously emit out of nowhere - fires need kindling, candles need wax, even the sun burns on fuel

and wooyoung’s fuel is you.

like i mentioned in san’s part, you and wooyoung are childhood friends. probably not quite as long as san and his partner - you met when you were a bit older, maybe just after you turned twelve or something, but that doesn’t mean your bond is any less strong

wooyoung remembers your first meeting very clearly - in fact, it’s one of his favorite memories

some older kids were pushing him around, and wooyoung was just trying to run away

he’d just broken free and was running off when a hand grabbed his wrist, dragging him behind an empty market stall, and another hand slapped over his mouth to muffle his cry of surprise

the older kids ran past, then stopped, looking confused, but when they couldn’t see wooyoung anywhere they just left

you finally let go of wooyoung and he turns around to look at you

and from then on, he swears you’re his savior

seriously, wooyoung thinks you’re literally the greatest fucking thing on this planet. might not act like it all the time because he’s a little shit, but you mean more to him than anything in the world

you don’t plan to get attached to him, not at first - you’re a little more standoffish, you told wooyoung you only helped him because you really hate the group of kids that was messing with him

but wooyoung attaches himself to you like a fucking limpet and as the months pass, you find you don’t mind. not at all.

you’re both street orphans, pickpockets and all that - neither of you are in the orphanage (wooyoung just never ended up there, while you ran away early on) and you’ve both been alone for a long while, so it’s nice to have someone with whom you can trust your back

and as time goes on, you start thinking of wooyoung less as an ally and more as a friend, then less as a friend and more as someone you love

wooyoung, on the other hand, has been head over heels since day one - getting into your space, pressing stupid little kisses onto your dirty face even as you try to bat him away

but he obviously doesn’t make a move at first because he’s like fucking twelve and doesn’t understand what he feels, and when he grows older and figures it out, he refrains from doing too much (like kissing your lips) because you don’t seem to feel the same way

except you are an impatient fuck

so once you figure it out and more importantly, you figure wooyoung out, it takes less than a day for you to have him pressed up against a wall, kissing him with all the strength you can muster

when you pull away, lips swollen and eyes suddenly shy, wooyoung tries to crack a joke like wow, didn’t know i was that irresistible

you just smirk and say you’re the one who’s been staring at my lips day in, day out for the past several years, woo

oh yeah that’s when wooyoung knows you’re the one

(he does ask why the fuck you waited so long if you noticed everything over the past few years)

(the truth is you only really figured it out a few days ago, but you tell him you just wanted him to suffer)

(it cues a lot of angry whining and cute pouts even though he knows it’s a joke so what can you do but kiss him until he shuts up?)

anyway you and wooyoung more or less rule your small section of the streets

master pickpockets and all that, plus you know how to use a knife very well and wooyoung is adept at fighting with whatever the fuck happens to be nearby

you’ve got a good head on your shoulders and though you never truly lie, your reasonable-sounding words always have several layers of meaning, which is very useful in negotiations

meanwhile wooyoung is just really, really good at sliding out of sticky situations - you turn your head the other way for one second and he’s disappeared

people don’t really dare mess with either of you because they know that if one of you get hurt, the other will literally go out for blood

the same goes for yeosang - you met the quiet orphanage boy on one of the rare times he went outside, and everyone knows not to mess with him since he’s under your protection

this reputation precedes you, which is why you and wooyoung are very surprised when a tall, gangly looking dude comes into your little pocket of territory looking very lost

both of you immediately think this is someone good to pickpocket, or at least harangue for news - he’s clearly not from here

too bad mingi has a hongjoong on his side who is very worriedly looking for his tall lost repairman

and in the middle of you two getting up in mingi’s space, hongjoong appears, wielding a very scary-looking sword

both you and wooyoung know this is someone not to be messed with, but curiosity gets the better of you - who is this guy, why is he here, and why doesn’t he know to stay away?

instead of asking, though, you both run away fast enough that hongjoong doesn’t have to deal with you

the next day, though, when you see a familiar face with a familiar sword hanging around the market, you decide to tail him for a bit

turns out he’s a pirate, which is intriguing in and of itself - it also explains the unfamiliarity with the territory

but what’s even more intriguing is how he manages to defend himself against your knives all the while answering your peppered questions in the most evasive manner possible

in the end, hongjoong has you pinned against an alley wall, sword inches from your throat

he clearly expects you to start begging for your life

but you just laugh breathlessly and say - hey, i’ve got two friends who’ve got nothing left here, just like me. do you have an opening for three on your crew?

hongjoong thinks you’re joking but you’re dead serious. there’s nothing in this town, you’re sick and tired of pickpocketing people and protecting your little territory to no end - there’s no point to it all

you know wooyoung feels the same way. he’s so energetic, always looking for something new, and even though he doesn’t say anything, you know he’s itching to get out of here

yeosang might take a little convincing, but if you can prey correctly on his desire to visit the lands he’s only ever marked on maps, he’ll come too

hongjoong asks what you have to offer to his crew. you say a sharp tongue, resourceful fighters, a navigator

and most importantly, a source of light.

(hongjoong doesn’t ask and you don’t elaborate on the last one, even though you can see a hint of confusion in his eyes)

he gives you two days to convince wooyoung and yeosang, if you don’t show up by then he’s setting sail

wooyoung is convinced almost immediately - his only qualm is seasickness, and you tell him he’ll get used to it

yeosang takes a little more effort, but with your persuasion skills, he agrees

and so the three of you join hongjoong’s crew

being a pirate isn’t as glorious as you originally thought it’d be - the first few weeks are just being seasick all the time, and there are fewer fights and less exploring than you’d like, more just running around and maintaining the ship

but the crew makes up for it more than tenfold

you and wooyoung have never really had family - just each other and then yeosang

but now that you’re with the crew, that sense of home you’ve only ever felt with woosang just multiplies

you love it on the ship. so does wooyoung

(he says it’s because there are so many hidden places where you can hide to kiss, but you think it’s because he has seonghwa to annoy now and not just you + yeosang)

both of you are on cloud nine, even with the nonstop work day in and day out

it’s all worth it when you can see the new cities, pilfer a little something in the marketplaces every now and then

life goes on like this - some crew members are lost and others join

you mourn for those gone, especially hongjoong’s partner, and you try to welcome the new members as best you can

(san is a tough nut to crack, but in the end, you and wooyoung are both happy that you kept at it long enough to see the results)

it’s a constant give or take - you know the ocean isn’t kind, know that the life of a pirate isn’t kind, and you’ve learned to live with it even though a piece of your heart breaks away with every crew member who falls

but then yeosang falls. literally.

and wooyoung begins to fade away.

wooyoung feels his emotions deeply, he’s always known that - it’s what binds him so strongly to you and what bound him so strongly to yeosang

so when he fell during that battle, stabbed several times, and could only watch yeosang fall into the ocean from the crow’s nest - essentially yeosang’s home on the ship -

wooyoung cries for hours after the battle, locked in your arms

and for once, even the knowledge that you’re by his side doesn’t seem to be enough to fill the void left by yeosang’s loss

the entire crew is experienced with their own types of loss, loss of partners and friends

but this is the first time wooyoung has felt it so deeply, like a knife carving out a hole in his chest

eventually, though, he recovers

it takes months, but he still has you. he still has san. he still has yeosang’s grieving friend, who might have become his partner had he lived, and he still has all of the crew

and you let him latch onto you whenever the void comes creeping on him again, because though wooyoung might be the light, you’re the source of fuel that keeps his sputtering flame burning

(guilt eats at you, too - you’re the one who convinced yeosang to join the crew, after all. but wooyoung calls it bullshit - you’re not at fault, not at all, yeosang understood what he was risking - and when he latches onto you, you take your own comfort in the warmth of his arms)

life goes on after the battle and yeosang’s death. wooyoung takes a long time to recover from his injuries and you’re by his side the entire way

but then san gets kidnapped and wooyoung almost goes off the deep end again - he can’t lose another friend

thankfully, san returns, so wooyoung doesn’t lose himself completely

but he begins to fear the disappearance or death of one of those whom he loves even more than he used to

as time goes on, he realizes he might not be able to handle the life of a pirate - he cares too deeply, too much, losing the people he cares for is breaking him slowly, bit by bit

you ask him what’s wrong one day and he spills all of this to you, sobbing

the next day you ask hongjoong to leave you and wooyoung at the next port - you can’t be on the crew anymore

hongjoong asks why, but when you explain he doesn’t even hesitate to nod and thanks you for your service

he does say that he’ll miss the source of light on his ship, the light and its kindling, but if this is what you and wooyoung really want, then it’s what he’ll give you

wooyoung feels a guilty sense of relief when you bring him back the news - he’s relieved that you two are going to leave, but there’s also the guilt of taking you away from a life that you enjoy

but you remind him that he’s your life. wooyoung is everything to you, and if he isn’t happy, you’re not going to be happy, no matter what

so it’s settled that you two will split off from the crew at the next port, which you’ll reach after a few weeks of sailing, maybe

you reach the port and are ready to part ways, saying goodbye to the rest of the crew

the aurora is staying in port for a couple of days for repairs, and you and wooyoung decide to stick around for at least the night before you go off

you go on a walk that night with him, darkened streets lit up by evenly spaced torches and lanterns

which is why you see the other ship pull into port with a navy seal on its side. and your blood freezes.

with one look, you and wooyoung are racing off to where you know the crew of the aurora is staying because you have to warn them

hongjoong looks grim. there’s a fight, it’s going to be inevitable, and you can feel wooyoung tensing up next to you

your former captain says you don’t have to fight if you don’t want to, you’re technically not part of the crew anymore

but one look between you and wooyoung settles it. one last battle to help the family that took you in

the battle is in the dark, bloody and brutal and made even worse by the fact that you can’t see the rivers of blood flowing down the streets - it’s all a mess of sticky black that your feet leave tracks in on the roads

you and wooyoung are back to back with san, the three of you fighting to the last

until there’s finally an opening and you manage to escape into a little alley

except the alley ends in a wall. a wall tall enough to climb over, maybe, but wooyoung has a wound in his stomach and san’s bleeding out of his side and you’ve got injuries of your own so you’re wholly, completely fucked

as several naval soldiers appear at the end of the alley, all you can think is how you and wooyoung were supposed to have gone off today, were supposed to have left to find a more stable life together

but at the same time, you know that if you hadn’t stayed for the night, your crew, your family, might not have gotten enough warning to save at least a few of their lives

wooyoung is starting to wheeze behind you. san doesn’t look much better, and you feel like you’re going to collapse

there are four soldiers standing in front of you, and there’s no shred of uncertainty in your mind when you think we’re not going to survive this

except - maybe if you can buy yourselves some time -

your eyes light on one of the torches on the side of the alley and a really dumb plan springs into your mind

you spring forward, ignoring wooyoung’s cry, and snatch up the still-burning torch

with a prayer that the ground is flammable, you hurl the torch in front of you

and thankfully, a flame begins to burn

you turn around and start helping wooyoung boost san over the wall

wooyoung is about to go next, grasping san’s hands - you go to help push him up

but then metal flashes in corner of your eye and you have to whirl away, dropping wooyoung to dodge the sword that came a hair’s breadth within slicing the skin off your cheek

how the soldier got past the fire, you have no idea - it’s still burning

maybe they got over it when it was still low

but then there are two shadows, not just one, both with blades flashing

and you know with a stark certainty that both you and wooyoung are going to die if you don’t get up that wall immediately

the problem is, there isn’t enough time to get both of you up - one is going to be slashed to pieces by the time it’s their turn

but one of you...

you block one of the blades and send the soldier crashing to the ground. the other is farther away and for one split second, you lock eyes with them

there’s enough light to see your smirk

give me a moment here, will you? you say

then you turn around and kiss wooyoung on the mouth.

it’s a brief kiss, barely longer than a second, but it’s all you have time for before you bodily lift wooyoung as much as you can so that san can reach him, arms pulling him up

san acts on reflex - he doesn’t realize what you’re planning just yet and neither does wooyoung

but they sure as hell figure it out when you duck under the second soldier’s swipe and begin fighting, despite the blood streaming from your face and body

in the background, you can hear wooyoung screaming and no doubt he’s thrashing around in san’s grip

but it’s all you can do to focus on the fight at hand - two against one with the one injured isn’t fair, but since when has the navy played fair?

you notice the sword flashing down at your side. you notice it, but you’re not fast enough

white hot pain bursts below your rib cage and you fall to your knees, blades clattering from your hands

another explosion of pain enters your back and you let out a scream of agony, collapsing to the ground

wooyoung watches you fall in the moonlight, red and black blood pooling beneath you

and only then does he stop thrashing in san’s hold

because he’s crying too hard, too hard to see or do anything but let a silently crying san carry him away

san takes him back to the ship where hongjoong manages to set sail in record time, leaving the navy behind

wooyoung doesn’t even move from where san has laid him on the floorboards - the only sign he’s still alive are his eyes, deadened eyes that track the land they’ve left behind, growing smaller and smaller in the distance

the land that holds your body

the body he’ll never see again.

several hours pass. someone’s moved him into the medbay, wooyoung doesn’t know who because all he can see is you collapsing to the ground over and over again, dark blood flowing endlessly from your wounds

tears build up behind his eyes again and he wants to scream, scream how nothing is fair, nothing is fucking fair, he was the one who wanted a new life that wasn’t that of a pirate and you were just going along with it but now he’s still alive and on the same fucking pirate ship he wanted to leave in the first place

and he’s lost both of his childhood friends, first yeosang to the waves and now you to the navy

with this loss, wooyoung is grasping his will to live by a mere thread

and he isn’t even sure he wants to hang on any longer.

there is no sun aboard the aurora anymore, at least not in the form of jung wooyoung

because once a fire’s fuel is gone, it can no longer burn

and wooyoung’s fuel is out.

jongho (ABS)

warnings: cursing, death, blood

ah yes jongho stronk boy

when i listed the best fighters i bet you were expecting me to put him in there too

but what i meant by best fighters is best sword fighters

see, jongho is extremely good at fighting and has the arms to prove it

however, his skills don’t solely lie in swords - hongjoong/yunho/san are better than him there - but he will fight with whatever the fuck else happens to also be around him

mingi sometimes likes to bring up that one time there was an enemy pirate fighting next to him and jongho just picked him up, swung him, and knocked out a second enemy pirate right then and there

so yeah. that’s jongho. well-rounder extraordinaire

no one knows how the fuck he’s so good at everything and at this point most of the crew is afraid to ask

but anyway let’s talk about the back story a little shall we

unlike most of the others, jongho has parents that he remembers and as far as he knows are still alive

however that does not mean he likes them

they weren’t abusive, exactly - they just were never around and when they were, jongho mostly got ignored or ordered around to do stuff like cook dinner or fucking whatever

so that’s what he suffers through for most of his childhood

during that time, he learns how to be pretty self-sufficient - he’s the one who takes care of himself, after all

he learns to cook, clean, etc.

but most importantly he learns to repair things, like the house

he gets really good at it too, to the point that people start hiring him to help them with fixing their shit

which is how hongjoong finds him

well, more accurately, yunho finds him

the aurora has docked in jongho’s town after a long storm and the ship has a lot of damage that’s going to take mingi a lot of time to fix

so yunho sets out to find someone who they can hire to help mingi out

he asks around and everyone recommends jongho, so yunho goes to find him. after losing his partner in that storm, hongjoong is in no shape to leave the ship, san is still recovering from injuries and guilt, and seonghwa’s busy tending to the crew members and making sure they don’t fall apart

when jongho answers the knock on his door, yunho is like ???? at first because what the fuck this guy can’t even be older than him - is he really that good at fixing things??

tbh yunho was expecting some middle aged man with massive muscles or something

but jongho’s staring at him like wtf do you want and yunho remembers he actually has a purpose here plus jongho does have really big muscles even if he isn’t middle aged so he’s like hi i heard you’re jongho can you help us fix our ship we’ll pay you

and what’s jongho gonna do? say no?

so he works with mingi for the best part of a couple of months, fixing up the aurora

and during that time, he meets the rest of the crew, who come and go

jongho gets to know them and he grows to like them - he used to be a pretty solitary person, but it’s really impossible to stay that way after meeting one jung wooyoung and his partner

even after he puts it together that they’re pirates, he still likes them

jongho isn’t stupid, it’s pretty obvious after working with mingi for a couple of weeks - they talk of treasure and travels when they think he doesn’t hear

but really, jongho doesn’t care too much - pay is pay, no matter who it comes from

and really, pirates can’t be much worse than the greedy nobles and aristocrats who run his city, right? their illegal acts are just blatant and out in the open, while the aristocracy try to keep their wrongdoings under wraps

he does ask mingi about it one day - why he decided to join the crew of the aurora

after the initial spluttering of we’re not pirates, cueing jongho’s deadpan expression that has mingi immediately quailing, mingi tells jongho more or less his story of joining the crew

maybe a few embellishments because yknow it’s mingi and we love him for it

and jongho listens carefully. his story is a little similar to mingi’s, actually, even if he knows his parents and was never at an orphanage

they were both alone, they both learned to do repair work...

that night, jongho lies awake in bed in his empty house, thinking about what mingi said

as they continue working, jongho prods mingi for more and more stories about the crew and their adventures, and though he visibly shies away from some topics (major fights and major storms, particularly the one that drove them into this port), mingi tells jongho enough for him to see that hongjoong’s crew isn’t immoral. far from it, really

there’s no explaining away the battles and murder and pillaging, but as far as jongho is concerned, at least they’re upfront about it

nobility does the same shit, they just prefer to call murder “the hanging of criminals” and pillaging “taxes”

and jongho is tired of both

after about a month or a month and a half, he decides to himself that he wants to join the aurora

so he asks mingi one day how hongjoong might feel if jongho wanted to join the crew

he doesn’t know hongjoong, he’s only caught maybe a glimpse or two of the captain because he’s been grieving this whole time, which is why he goes to mingi first

mingi tells him to come back the next day, he’ll see if seonghwa can better answer that question as the second in command since hongjoong is still out

seonghwa takes a liking to jongho almost immediately, and the feeling is mutual

even just minutes after meeting, seonghwa gives jongho the sense that he truly cares for him in a way that jongho really hasn’t felt before, not even from his own parents

so the deal is settled and after the repair job is finished, jongho returns to his small home to pack up his stuff. the next day, he’s sailing into the open ocean without looking back

like almost every other new crew member, jongho gets seasick for the first few weeks he isn’t on land

meaning he stays in the medbay more often than he’d like to

but it’s fine - because that’s where he meets you

you’re the ship’s doctor. relatively new since the last doctor was killed in battle maybe half a year ago, but wooyoung was lucky enough to befriend you, an apothecarist’s apprentice, in one of the towns the aurora docked in

you come from a town that’s a safe zone of sorts for pirates - the locals are friendly if wary, and pirates don’t get into fights on your land

it’s a pretty decent existence if you ignore the fact that royalty/nobles would have all of your heads if they could find definitive proof that your town likes to harbor criminals, but people keep their mouths shut here so it doesn’t happen

however, as decent as this existence is, you got a bit of the short end of the stick

your parents died after you were apprenticed to the apothecarist, leaving you with no nearby relatives or places to stay other than the orphanage or the apothecary

and the orphanage in your town majorly sucks so you just opted to stay at the apothecary

except the apothecarist is not a good human being. major leech. creepy. you hated being around him any more than necessary

which means you learned everything as fast as you could just so you could stay away and look after customers on your own

and when the opportunity to use your skills elsewhere came up, you barely hesitated before telling wooyoung please get me the fuck out of here

only thing that made you balk was the possibility of death on the seas, but you’re young and naive and when you’re at that age, you feel like you’re invincible - therefore you brush it off

plus, everyone dies eventually, right?

you’re the new blood for several months until jongho joins the crew

and because he’s the new guy now, you take it upon yourself to familiarize him with how the ship and the crew work while he’s currently bedridden

it gives him something to focus on other than the rolling sea beneath him

and it’s nice to talk to someone who’s just mildly sick and not bleeding to fucking death

even after jongho gets better, he continues to spend a lot of his free time in the medbay because he likes being around you. your voice is soothing and somewhere in the back of his mind, he probably associates it with care and comfort, given how you treated him during those first few weeks

slowly but surely, you grow closer and closer

you’re the one jongho goes to when he feels a little stifled, too used to independence on land and unfamiliar with the teamwork that comes with being part of a crew

and you like to talk to him when you’re exhausted after treating wound after wound after wound after a harsh storm or bloody battle

it feels like you understand him, no matter what, and jongho does his best to lend you a listening ear as well - it’s the least he can do

you feel comforting, but in a different way from the rest of the crew

like yeah, seonghwa’s comforting in that mother sort of way, hongjoong has that tired dad vibe where jongho knows he can go to him with whatever, and the rest of ateez are like older brothers he knows he can trust

but there’s something different about you

he figures it out, of course, because jongho isn’t dumb or clueless - but he is a little afraid of being so attached to you

because what if he loses you? then what happens?

he tries to go to seonghwa to talk about it because he’s genuinely so scared

but seonghwa’s not in his room and instead, a tired-looking hongjoong catches jongho in the hallway knocking on seonghwa’s door and asks what he needs from hwa

jongho is slightly nervous because he hasn’t spoken that much to joong, or at least not as much as some of the other crew - after all, he joined the crew when hongjoong was still in grieving and has only really been talking to him for a few months

and by now he knows what happened to hongjoong’s partner in the storm - the same storm that wrought the damage on the aurora that jongho helped repair

so he isn’t sure if it’s a good idea to talk to joong about it

but hongjoong presses him a little, saying that hwa is dealing with some other stuff at the moment and that jongho can talk to joong if he wants

so in a fit of recklessness (he’s also been holding it in for kind of a while, he needs to talk), jongho spills it in hongjoong’s office

and hongjoong goes silent.

jongho regrets his entire existence during the few minutes of silence and he’s opening his mouth to apologize and take his leave

but hongjoong talks first

and he says to go for it.

you can’t live your life in fear of what might happen, especially when it comes to love

losing love hurts, but the memories you make are worth the pain

hongjoong’s eyes look haunted, but there’s a faint smile on his face that jongho somehow knows isn’t faked - his words are the truth

and he takes them as comfort when he goes to talk to you later about how he feels

turns out you’ve felt the same way for a while, but you didn’t think the feelings were reciprocated so you didn’t say anything, just kept caring for him in the ways you know best

you talk the entire night about what this means for the two of you, and it ends with you and jongho holding each other on one of the medbay beds, curled into the other’s warmth

it turns out to be a blessing that jongho talked to hongjoong about this and not someone else

mingi/yunho/san don’t have partners on the ship, while wooyoung and his partner have been together for literally forever - getting together was barely a decision for them, more like the only logical path to follow

seonghwa would’ve been good to talk to, probably - he lost his partner (at this point he still thinks they’re dead) and would’ve said something similar to hongjoong

he still wears the ring, after all

but the talk with hongjoong breaks down that last wall between him and jongho, and they grow closer

which is something jongho really appreciates, because hongjoong is as dependable as seonghwa and another figure jongho can now trust

life goes on - it gets better for jongho, actually, what with you and finally growing close to every member of the crew

he loves sword fighting practice and delights in terrorizing his crew members during mock fights by using whatever happens to be nearby, not just his sword

he also loves sitting with you on deck and breaking an apple in half, wordlessly handing one part to you and keeping the other for himself, all the while staring at the clouds during the day or the stars at night

just being near you makes jongho instantly feel not safer, but more comforted

because jongho’s in as much danger as he always was, he knows that

but having you close by makes him feel more able to handle that danger.

at least, until yeosang dies.

jongho watches him being flung off the crow’s nest and into the water, never to resurface

watches his partner race to the railing and scream until their throat goes raw and the screams die to begging wails

the scene replays itself in his head again and again after the battle is over

only instead of it being yeosang flung through the air, it’s you

which doesn’t make sense. you’re the doctor, you stay belowdecks during fights and have never ventured into the crow’s nest as far as he knows

but suddenly jongho is confronted with the very real fear that you could die any second

he knew that before, but like you, he was young and reckless and thought himself invincible

now, though, he knows what could happen

and it worries him. you’re not the worst at fighting on the ship, you can defend yourself pretty well, but you don’t have have as much experience as even mingi because 1. you’ve been on the ship for less time, and 2. you don’t go above decks during fights - you stay in the medbay with someone designated to protect you. a ship’s doctor is valuable, after all

your instincts are to heal, not to destroy, and that terrifies jongho

it gets even worse after wooyoung loses his partner and jongho sees the shell that he’s become

jongho didn’t see it happen, but san tells him and seonghwa several days later, eyes haunted as he tries to describe the sight of wooyoung’s partner jerking under the blades, wooyoung going limp as a rag doll as they fell, san being forced to bring basically a corpse back to the ship - the only reason he knew wooyoung himself wasn’t dead was because of the tears running down his face

the story cuts deep into jongho’s heart - wooyoung’s partner was a very good fighter, far better than you, and even they were lost

what if it was you, not them?

jongho decides it’s better to be paranoid than to do nothing and he trains you harder, asking san/yunho/hongjoong to help

you notice the change in his demeanor but don’t question it - after all, you’re wrestling with similar thoughts to his

you confide to him during long nights with you two curled up together on one of the infirmary beds and jongho talks, too

neither of you wants to end this, and you both agree that ending it won’t do much, anyway - you still live on the same ship together, and breaking apart will only hurt you two more

but jongho wishes there was something he could do about this constant fear that he’s going to lose you

wooyoung is still a shell of his former self - jongho doesn’t know if he’d become the same way if you died, and he doesn’t want to test it out

he tries to ignore the fear, to just enjoy every day with you like it’s his last

pressing his lips to yours always makes him feel a little better, anyway

the fear never goes away, though - it’s almost like something is warning him that he will soon suffer the same fate as wooyoung and his partner

jongho ignores it. prays to every higher being he knows that you’ll be safe and extends his prayers to those he doesn’t even know

but prayers don’t work when fate has already decided its path.

the battle comes quickly, and jongho is thrown into the fray, incapacitating as many navy members as he can

he’s so focused on the fight to see the two navy soldiers going belowdecks

because nobody goes belowdecks. the fight stays on top of the ship, only when the ship is being pillaged after the fight do they go below to see what’s there

but since when have naval officers played fair?

jongho has just stabbed an enemy soldier when he hears the muffled yell through the floorboards

a yell of fear, familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time because he knows the voice, but he’s never heard it so frightened

no one has ever seen jongho move that fast. he crashes through the throng of individual battles, earning himself a scrape in the side and several cut ons his arms, but in the moment, he doesn’t feel any of the stinging pain

he crashes belowdecks and freezes for a second at the sight of a dead crew member on the floor, the crew member who was assigned to guard you during this battle

and in that frozen moment, he realizes that there’s no screaming anymore.

jongho throws himself into the medbay

and the first thing he registers is the blood all over the floor.

grief pulls a desperate cry from his lips

the soldiers turn around

and jongho doesn’t know what happens next.

when his mind catches up to the present, jongho’s throat is raw and two naval officers are dead at his feet, their blood seeping into the floorboards, almost ripped apart

but he can’t even take sick satisfaction in that

because no matter how much navy blood he spills, you will still be gone

dead

your blood staining the medbay floors

jongho falls to his knees - blood soaks into his pants, your blood or the officers’ blood, he doesn't have any fucking clue

all he knows is that you’re dead, gone forever the way he always feared

and no amount of blood he spills will ever bring you back.

If you enjoyed, please don’t forget to reblog and leave a comment to tell me what you thought! Thank you for reading and have a lovely day <3

(1 reblog = 1 prayer for me these parts were so much longer than they should’ve been I think I’m going insane)

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wingsyliveblogs · 2 years ago

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Hi, all! There’s a new liveblogger in town! (It’s me, I’m the liveblogger.) You can call me Wingsy. I’m here to liveblog The Owl House and Amphibia, as well as potentially other things in the future.

how do people do these intro posts

I’ve always had a fondness for any and all forms of liveblogs/live reactions - they let you experience a series you love all over again, and sometimes let you appreciate things about the series you’d never have noticed before. I’m generally on the audience side of things when it comes to liveblogs, and although I’ve given various forms of liveblogging (or otherwise reacting to media) a shot in the past, I’ve never really committed to it. It’s kind of scary, putting your rawest initial thoughts on a series out there for people to see.

But I really enjoy seeing other people explore a story that I’m into - and fall in love with the characters and the world and everything else - and I want to be able to give that experience to someone else. I’m hoping to achieve that with this blog.

[cut for long post/rambling]

From what I’ve seen, by far the most popular subject for liveblogs around here is Steven Universe. I love SU, and I love SU liveblogs, but sadly, I’m about 6 years too late to try my hand at liveblogging it myself. That said, I have heard good things about some of the cool new cartoons that have been airing lately, so let’s check those out instead!

As noted above, I’ll be starting with The Owl House and Amphibia. I plan to watch both shows at the same time, and alternate episodes from each show, though this initial plan is subject to change if necessary.

First, though, I have to clarify, as all livebloggers inevitably must: this is intended to be a blind liveblog, so I do not want spoilers of any sort for either of these shows, or for anything else that I may liveblog in the future.

That being said, I’m not exactly starting this liveblog spoiler-free. This is mainly because I’m really bad at avoiding spoilers, and The Owl House is very popular so spoilers are everywhere, and literally the first time I ever saw the title “Amphibia” was when I accidentally came across a massive spoiler for the series. So I do already know things about both shows that I probably shouldn’t. And I really would prefer not to have any more of those spoilers. So please be nice!

My current plan is to start by posting a list of spoilers/things I already know about each show, just to clear things up for future reference. Once that’s done, I’ll begin the actual liveblog. After that... well, I’ve never gotten this far before, so I guess I’ll figure things out as I go?

I don’t know how much interest people will have in this blog - for obvious reasons, I’ve been staying well away from both cartoons’ fandoms - but if you’ve read this far, thanks! I hope you’ll stick around.

#wingsy liveblogs #the owl house #toh #amphibia #I intend to keep most of my posts out of the fandom tags #but I'm including the tags for this one in hopes of catching some attention!

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captaincoffeegirl515 · 3 years ago

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What the hell was that last act???

So first of all I want to say that I did enjoy most of the movie. It was okay. The sex scenes didn’t do anything for me though since I’m just not interested in sex at all. But while I more-or-less liked the movie, I felt that the big plot twists in the last act and the ending were badly done because… how the fuck did ANY of them manage to get away with ANY OF THAT??? Like from a legal standpoint it’s just ???

This got so much longer than I anticipated, so the rest is under the read more. And yes, there are so many spoilers. So if you haven't seen The Voyeurs yet and don't want spoilers, please avoid this.

Seb and Julia literally confess to selling their old apartment in order to spy on the people who live there and use them for their art show. Like, yes, they put that clause in the Terms of Agreement for the apartment (which literally no one ever reads) but there is still the matter of Informed Consent. Informed Consent is usually in the form of a contract Pippa and Thomas both need to read and sign, or via verbal questions and answers which is filmed so Seb and Julia would have physical proof of an agreement. This is basically telling them what footage was taken, how it will be used, and if Seb and Julia have permission to share the footage publicly. In Thomas’ case, since he’s dead, his next-of-kin will be asked. Only then are Seb and Julia legally allowed to publicly share and showcase the Pippa and Thomas’ pictures. And Seb is a professional photographer! He should know that!

Have you ever seen prank shows? Like even the ones on YouTube. Have you noticed at the end of some videos, there would be a part where the filmers would approach the person who was pranked and ask if they could use their footage in the video. That’s Informed Consent. They need to ask permission to use a person’s footage in a video or if they need to blur out the person’s face for privacy. Seb and Julia even showed a picture of a dead man for chrissakes! Remember the outcry when that YouTuber posted a video of a suicide victim in Japan???

The Japanese interviewer was right to disapprove of their methods because even though there was a clause in the Terms of Agreement, the prank (because isn’t that what that whole show they did was?) or experiment still resulted with someone killing themself (yes I know it was murder, but the world doesn't know it). They can possibly still be held liable for causing Thomas to kill himself the same way a prankster can be held liable if their victim dies from a prank because of this thing in Law called the Eggshell Rule or Eggshell Plaintiff.

What this means is that a defendant is liable for any injuries caused by the defendant’s actions, regardless of how unforeseeable or uncommon the plaintiff’s reactions to the defendant’s actions are. So for example, there is a scary prank where the prankster jumps out of the bushes and terrifies people. One of them turns out to have a heart condition, suffers a heart attack, and dies. Regardless of the victim’s frailty, the prankster can be held liable for exacerbating the condition and causing the victim’s death. Likewise in the movie, they can say that Seb and Julia, by orchestrating the whole thing and making Thomas see his girlfriend cheating on him, could have caused him to become broken-hearted and kill himself. Therefore, Seb and Julia can be liable for Thomas’ death.

And then here’s the kicker! The famous photographer and his wife, a famous model, both suddenly end up blind AFTER their big art show where they displayed Pippa’s scandal. And not by accident. No. This was obviously surgically done. And NOBODY suspected foul play?? Nobody thought about revenge?? Nobody thought it strange how their blindness was clearly done with a surgical/medical precision nor suspected the couple’s subject, Pippa, who they thoroughly humiliated, who also worked as an optometrist technician at a lab that has the machines that could cause that kind of blindness??? And they're both still alive! They can easily tell the police who did it!

It should have been way too easy for the police to know that it was foul play. Blood tests can tell that Seb and Julia had been drugged. How they were blinded can be traced to the optometry lab. Pippa would be the easiest main suspect due to her connection to them with revenge as the main motivation after they humiliated her in that art show.

And yes, I agree that what Seb and Julia did was wrong. They used Pippa and Thomas, and then murdered Thomas so they can have some juicy story to tell!

Even so, what happened to Ethical Codes in the medical field? What happened to the Hippocratic Oath? Non-maleficience rule? “Do No Harm”? Pippa should have been slammed with, idk, medical malpractice or something, after using her knowledge of the LASIK machine and using it to permanently blind people (which is an actual fear real people have about LASIK surgery), have her license revoked, be fired from her job, and possibly serve jail time. Why is she walking free all willy-nilly and still being allowed to continue stalking Seb and Julia?

I’ll admit though that maybe I’m being more harsh towards Pippa because I myself used to be a Board Certified medical professional (my license expired last year because I hadn't been working in that field for a while) and because of that, her actions angered and horrified me more.

Normally, we as an audience are made to root for the main character or hero, but I found it difficult to do so because Pippa herself is a terrible person. She's a pervert and a creep. She was obsessed with the lives of other people, stalked them, and even went as far as committing crimes in order to fuel her obsession - trespassing, breaking and entering, destruction of private property.

And my goodness this actually makes me think of a few Ben Hardy stans who are like this. Well, idk if going to Ben's school so that she can get a copy of a school film he was in can be considered a crime, but it's still fucking creepy.

Pippa’s got that Savior Complex where she tries to rescue this poor neglected wife from her horrible cheating husband (the same one she herself wants to fuck because she’s obsessed with him). And then when it all goes south, she immediately turns around and blames THOMAS of all people because “he started it”. Like, so what if he did?? He still had enough maturity to realize when they were taking it too far, and decided to stop with the stalking. He told her to stop multiple times but she was too blinded by her obsession and lust for a man that she doesn’t even know.

AND THEN!! She stalked a grieving husband (I know we know that was a lie but Pippa didn't know that) and proceeded to cheat on her boyfriend with said grieving husband. And frankly, I don’t understand why she’s so vengeful about Thomas’ death considering how easily she forgot him so that she could cheat on him. Like. Who knows, maybe he still would’ve killed himself regardless of the poisoned drink because the last thing he saw was his girlfriend cheating on him with the man she’d been obsessed with for the past idk how long. Even in the scene after Thomas died, there was a momentary grief where Pippa was all “it’s my fault Thomas died” but it was all too brief and immediately after she went back to obsessing and asking about Seb. And they want me to believe that she’d want to avenge Thomas’ death? No. I think she blinded Seb and Julia because she was angry at being called out for her obsession. For being told that she was wrong to go that far. It wasn’t about her “love” for Thomas. It was about how humiliated she was about being wrong.

Can you believe that Pippa gave this whole speech with the fable about being content with what you have and not to try to be greedy by wanting more and then she just immediately DOES THE OPPOSITE OF THE MORAL by cheating on her boyfriend because she wanted more aka Seb???

The more that I think about it, I feel like the true villain of the movie is Pippa herself. Her obsession with Seb is what started the whole thing. If she had been able to keep a healthy distance, none of that would’ve happened to begin with. There would be no fights over how far things were going. Seb would have no scandal to tell. She worsened Thomas’ insecurities of not being enough for her, making him go to great lengths just to try to please her. Poor Thomas. He truly deserved better.

Pippa also has awful friends. Instead of stamping down the creepy behavior, they’re giving tips on how to listen in on other people’s private conversations! And then later try to excuse her cheating on Thomas. And then help with her obsession AGAIN.

Acting-wise, I felt that Natasha, Ben, and Justice were incredible and I loved them. I love how conflicted Ben played Seb and how you can see it in his eyes. My favorite scene was the one where Seb and Julia had that confrontation over the wine where Seb asks if she ever felt guilty and Julia just stares right back and stares him down. Natasha was brilliant as Julie pretending to be all friendly and vulnerable with Pippa. Justice was very emotional and I love the scenes where he was horrified at how far Pippa was taking everything. For me, Sydney was the weakest one at acting. While there were some okay parts, her face can be really stiff at some points, like during the sex scenes.

Overall, I thought the movie to be quite thought-provoking especially in this day and age where people can find the most intimate details of another person’s life so easily, be that through Carrd, Instagram stories, Facebook feeds, and other social media sites. It makes you think about parasocial relationships, how people can be so obsessed about people that they’ve never even met, and how that obsession can easily grow into something dangerous that can ruin lives. Good movie, terrible last act. Too much sex for my taste, but then it wouldn’t be called an erotic movie.

Outside of the movie, I really love the chemistry between the four of them. I love watching their interviews and seeing how they interact with each other.

Last but not the least, I know this may be random but my brain likes to zoom in on the weirdest things. How on earth did Pippa manage to get Seb on top of that operating table?? No offense but Pippa is fucking tiny. Seb’s like twice her size and mostly muscle AND unconscious. Like ??? Sorry but that threw me off so much it’s ridiculous.

#ben hardy #natasha liu bordizzo #justice smith #sydney sweeney

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ser-rctslcyer · 4 years ago

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Sweet Home (2020)

First of all this is going to major major spoilers from the show, so don’t read if you are still trying to finish!!!

I’d like to start off by saying that this is my opinion, thoughts and feelings about the show(I watched all of it). I will be comparing events in both the Webtoon comic and the Netflix TV series. Also again it’s been awhile since I have read the Webtoon from beginning to end so sorry if there’s some misinformation (apologies if any of the names are spelled wrong or out of order too, I using the wiki page to write out the characters name from the show as they changed names a bit) but here we go.

(1) Pacing Issues

I’d like to start off and say the show has a lot of pacing issues. Throughout the show there are a lot of events that happen so quickly and sometimes bizarrely. From the transformations, to the introduction of characters, and the movement of the plot. One of the odd things that stood out was the bizarre news broadcast which was showcasing weird and scary visuals, as it explained the ‘rules of monsterization’ (you think that for global news that big, you wouldn’t want to cause global panic, but insist on showing the visuals that would put even more anxieties in the people at that time. Also why didn’t they cut it off when the dude first started having a nosebleed).

Next I know Hyun was only supposed to be there for a week before everything started going down, but literally it just felt like a day. It didn’t seem to establish enough of his situation for the audience. I understand that adaptations like this are made for the niche audience of those who have either watched/read the original source material, however everyone should strive to have a story for anyone to view that they could understand and follow. It feels like immediately we get into the craziness that is thrusted upon all of the characters.

Another thing that threw me for a loop was the way the ‘Blind Monster’ quickly transformed, it was just so fast. One moment he is the random human and then the next he’s standing up full monster. I think it would’ve been way cooler to see him transform fully, which I think would have been the first (full) transformation to see on screen. It’s one of the coolest monsters in the comic AND IT GETS PUNKED SO QUICKLY IN THE SHOW!!!

I get making the montage when Hyun met Du-sik, and how he went there to get his weapon made but it felt weird that they quickly figured out that they could use the phones to detect the monsters. It seemed so very rushed, and again one of the many things that probably would give the audience whiplash. Then when he meets up with Ji-su(Ji-soo) and Jay-hun did he teach them that the phones can work to detect monsters??? I mean they talked to each other all of two seconds before going back out to save the kids.

Hyun also went so quickly into his madness phases (his alter)? I swear they just really threw that in there so early by episode 2-3 . It seemed so random again as there wasn’t really much build up to show his ‘desires’ side. It was so abrupt especially because they hadn’t ‘laid out’ Hyun’s character yet, enough to introduce his alter ego fully like that. It didn’t really showcase Hyun’s struggle a lot to defy the his alter; mainly seemed like they used the alter to explain why Hyun is the way he is, which happens in the comic but again the show just kind of makes it feel like the alter is sorta just there to give us more exposition.

There’s a lot more pacing issues which I could get into but I think that would make this entirely much longer than it has to be.

(2) Continuity Issues

There’s also a ton of issues with continuity of the story too. The first glaring one that comes to mind is this both the power issue and the no internet service. In the show it establishes toward the end of episode one that there is no service, as the big group is on the first floor wondering why they are locked into the building. That’s at episode 1, which then in episode 2 opens up to Hyun still playing games on his computer, the group watching the news broadcast and Hyuk reading the initial first article about the outbreak being a ‘curse’. Now I’m not a tech savvy person, but when there’s no service, I’m pretty sure you aren’t able to do any of those things. Then when the Netflix original character, Seo Yi-Kyung, the ex firefighter/special forces decides to send a picture of the dead guy’s body to his family when there is no service; how is that possible? (Also was I the only one who found that to be completely odd and mean, as she saw a picture of his family? I understand it set us up for her story and how she’s trying to uncover secrets from her long lost fiance but it seems out of pocket as well as a dick move.) But that again loops back to the point that there is no service in this place, it’s been said many times so it just irks me more because that is such a big glaring issue, which should’ve been caught by someone reading the script.

Then there is when the power goes out. It shows Hyuk at the cameras when the powers go out and the cameras all shut off. But when he comes back to the camera with Seo Yi-Kyung, the camera’s are back on. Is it possible for them to be running on a separate generator, perhaps. However they showed the cameras going so then again, I can’t believe that there is a separate generator because again they showed them all shutting off; so again another continuity error. During that same scene I also could have sworn the lady also was looking at the cameras and saw the monster on screen, but apparently not because as she returns she punches Hyuk in the chest. I thought it was really weird because again he pointed and even showed which camera it was where she had to turn the power back on, yet she didn’t see the monster at all? Not only that too but I thought too she knew the risk she would be taking, as they were unaware of what other monsters could be in the building, however I guess not since she came back so defensively.

Another issue I have is the strength of Protein. Protein is first shown in episode 3 when Hyun has gone to rescue the kids and bring them back to Dusik’s room. Hyun begins to have a nosebleed and then his alter comes to him in his head and he tells the kids to go on without him. They run into Protein who if I remember correctly knocked Hyun through the door. As Hyun is still dazed and the kids are dragging him away, Protein takes about 5+ hits… to break through a wall. This giant hulking mass of a monster, takes more than 5 hits to finally bust through a wall, does that seem right to you? The later when he fights [the lady who lost her baby] and when he pouches her, it almost feels like a push with how far she flies, even though he reared up for that punch. Anyway later on in episode 8 I believe, when Protein comes back, he quickly demolishes their armored car, so much that it looks nearly if not just like a pile of scrap. One could argue that yes, when he comes back and attacks the group, he’s supposed to be in his ‘rage mode’ of sorts, so that could be what makes him stronger. However he’s a towering hulking monster, seems to not do that much damage, to both the surroundings around him and then to the few people he smacked around. It just seems weird how he had different strengths each time he appeared. I know again that sometimes adaptations do tend to nerf characters, however I found it weird how they seemingly tried to do that in the show. I was sure that Jae Heon’s sword wasn’t able to slice Protein at all in the comic (or maybe he was in his rage mode at that point) either way though the nerfing of Protein’s character seemed to flip flop from whatever they seemed fit.

(3) Monsters

Which this can lead into the monsters. Now each monster in Sweet Home has different power sets and abilities than the other, however one consistent thing in the comic at least is that most of them are actually pretty sturdy and tough for the group to beat. A lot of the monsters, it takes time, effort, and a lot of learning for the group to figure out how to kill them.

Let’s start off with the Tongue Monster. The Tongue monster is one of the first ones the group initially encounters; its terrifyingly tall stature is already unsettling enough, there’s the gaping hole of a mouth with a powerful tongue. Now the effects that for the opening of the mouth were a little wonky, but something I could look past. However my main problem was that this monster single handedly got the most kills in the show out of all the other monsters. In fact he was the only monster to get kills, which is very disappointing to see when you have all these cool monsters that could have different and interesting kills. (I’m not counting Mr. Kim and Jay hun’s death simply because that was a self sacrifice on Jay hun’s part. Nor am I counting any of Jung Wooi-myung kills because he was a half monster also he didn’t go full monster to kill anyone). In the comic, the Tongue monster had gotten 2 kills which one of those happened to be another monster (Mr. Kim).

Eyeball monster was alright, and did what it needed to do.

The Blind monster, who is for a doubt, one of the most terrifying and troublesome monsters in the comic. Like both in the show and the comic, he originally attacks Ji-su first, but then Jayhun comes and saves her by slicing off it’s head. The two leave think it was dead but that’s when the true terror starts as he was monsterized enough to survive it’s head being cut in half but unable to regenerate its head fully. Since it fully relies on sound, it makes it more deadly as it shoots out branch-like tendrils with great speed. This is deadly for the group as they have to make sure they travel quietly as possible to avoid being killed by the agonized creature. I did enjoy how the show included when Hyun first opened his door to it being right there, as that was a very suspenseful moment, and showed us another big threat that the people in this apartment building would face. The Blind monster is only around for 23 chapters in the comic which is roughly he’s in there for about 16.43% of the story (not including the flashback in the later chapters). While that number is small to you, the Blind monster is one of the iconic monsters as well as one that sets an even bigger tone for the dire situation the characters are in. He didn’t feel like much of a threat in the show, as I think also in episode 3 he gets killed by Protein after their ‘cheesy’ fight. In the comic, the Blind monster only killed one human (shown in a flashback as it was the slime monster’s mother) and was killed by Eun Lee. I will say he was one of the better looking monsters in the show and I give props for both the practical effects and special effects they used to create him.

The one I hate the absolute most is, Speed monster. His design was awful to me and sort of out of all the designs in the show he was the most out of place for me and just weird. He served his purpose though, the design they did for the show makes him comical rather than scary. In the comics, he does kill one in a flashback and then is killed by Hyun Cha.

Reach monster is another one I think the show did really well, design wise. However the narration when reading the guys journal to figure out why he had become a monster was a good idea how the execution of it seemed so jarring as we were already moving back to the characters of that scene and ultimately doesn’t get the audience to really get invested into the thought that anyone could turn into a monster over seemingly any desire.

Protein or the Steroid monster is another great and iconic monster from the comic, which in the show he seemed much less of a big deal than in the comic. The continuity with his strength seems to vary all throughout the show. He takes 5 hits to break one measly apartment wall, 1 attack to almost demolish a car (which I think he just smacked away because it didn’t seem like he rushed it), and he ended up getting crushed to death by on-fire debris. The strength and speed of Protein is what makes him another big problem for the group yet in the show, they sort of deal with him quickly. In the comic, Protein kills the Tongue monster in a fit of rage and also Seop Ahn (Seob An) who he crushes his skull with one singular punch. He’s later killed by the criminals that invade the apartment as they ram him with a bus and then eventually set him on fire. Protein was seemingly lack-luster in the show and honestly wasn’t as terrifying as I thought a 10 foot monster should be.

Mr. Kim (Security Guard) is another monster that comes back out of nowhere in the show to kill Jae-heon (Jayhun). I found it weird that they didn’t show Mr. Kim, as in the comic he’s seen a couple times wandering before it comes to the other realization that he’s in fact a monster. Also in the comic, Mr. Kim is a strong and sturdy monster, his thirst for vengeance against the tenants whom some harassed him make him out to be a very tough monster for the group to beat. When he starts rampaging to kill the other survivors it is Jayhun who rushes to try to stop him by tackling him however he’s unable to move him. Mr. Kim threw him to the ground and then stomped on Hayhun’s head, crushing his skull. It takes the Tongue monster for Mr. Kim to finally be weakened enough for them to kill him. Jayhun’s death impacts the group but also mainly impacts Ji-su and Hyun both, however in the show they don’t really show it changing Hyun. I do appreciate the different take of this in the show, in fact I think that is one of the best scenes in the show. I also think Ji-su’s pain and anguish after was really well done. I’m fine with the debuffing of Mr. Kim but I do kind of wish he played a bit of a bigger part.

The live actions’ original creepy crawly monster I thought was a pretty decent design although some of the cgi for it is a bit of an eye twitch but again I can look past it. The monster itself resembled a spider, it uses webbing to capture and hold it’s victims.

The Slime monster I think was also another monster I like how the show did. It served its purpose well, and helped a bit show how some of the monsters aren’t necessarily as evil as the survivors may think.

Seok Kim monsterization form was awful, he just looked like a giant walking talking hairball. At first I didn’t know who it was, and I found it stupid Sun Ahn (Seon Ahn) knew it was him; like how do you tell from underneath all that hair? I’m glad they kept it the same and had his wife kill him. Also wish they showed more of him losing his mind and talking to his alter, as in the show he really turned out of nowhere, kinda odd.

(4) Military Subplot

I hate the military subplot, it’s such a stupid and overused trope especially with adaptions like this and honestly in never really works for it. The whole thing with the military knowing about this monsterization process before the initial outbreak and them trying to weaponize the ‘special infectees’ just really bogs down the story in my opinion. One of the reasons why I love and adore the comic is because it’s about a group of strangers, who don’t really know each other, trying to work together as a unit to survive. They have to learn how to use the materials around them and each other to fight off the monsters. Which they do in the show but when the show’s ‘criminals’ show up and they all have guns, it gets boring for me there (I’ll go into them later). The military subplot I know is setting the series up for a second season and probably will introduce other elements as well but ultimately it takes away what the comic had originally built; the suspenseful tension of being trapped in a building with people who could easily turn on you or turn into a monster and kill you.

(5)Characters and Relationships

Now let’s talk about characters and relationships. Brace yourself, this is going to be a long ride.

Hyun

Hyun was honestly I think is the worst adapted character in the show. The show felt like it dumbed down his character greatly. He’s the main character of the comics but the show treats him like a side character, especially at the beginning of it, as it tries to push some of the other character’s narratives first. From a creator’s standpoint I think it was a poor decision because I didn’t build up the same attachment to him when I had read the comic; most of the time he was on screen I completely didn’t care. The way the show portrays him is almost delicate since he’s pretty socially inept but the show makes him feel boring and plain by this fact. In no way am I saying he was a happier more confident person in the comic but the comic had clearly shown his character development and how his growing confidence pushed him to be a better person. The show however speeds past this process which again gives the audience no emotional attachment to the character. If there had been more scenes with him and his internal struggle, that were fleshed out it would have changed his character development immensely.

Because of how the show did him, he also ends up not making friends with some of the group members as he did in the comic, Ji-su being another one of the things that irked me about the show. Hyun’s and Ji-su’s growing relationship in the comic is a big reason for his character development. Ji-su pushes Hyun socially but also Hyun finds strength to stay human as long as possible and help others. Not to mention Ji-su is one of the few that actually cared for him when everyone was against him. In the show they barely have any interaction and Ji-su acts way more defensively around Hyun. I found it so awkward when Hyun lost control to kill the other half monster and Dusik, and she was talking about how she was glad Hyun wouldn’t have to remember all of that. I know the show was trying to show her caring side for him but ultimately it’s lost to me because they never built up a relationship between the two of them. Jayhun and Ji-su’s relationship completely overshadows anything they had tried to do with Ji-su and Hyun. Hyun and Eun’s relationship in the show is kind of mediocre and I don’t really care for it since Eun’s character is very annoying to me throughout most of the show. Hyun’s closest relationship in the show was with Du-sik and even still they didn’t really build up the relationship that much. They had a couple scenes here and there but they never really showed that connection that the two of them built in the comic.

Hyun’s quick flip into madness or his alter happened relatively fast and also it didn’t seem like he was fighting internally with himself much; again something I wish they went more in depth with, showing how strong Hyun’s character really is. Even with the flashbacks to his past, that they only used for a couple of episodes, they didn’t still do much to grow his character.

The show makes him a total blank slate and a completely flat character throughout the show. He never grows to really be much of a character and is definitely a weak spot in the show.

Ji-su

Ji-su gets a decent amount of focus and attention in the show but her character does seem to be different than her comic counterpart. I think they did a good job on showing the relationship between Jae-heon and Ji-su. I think they capitalized really well on showing that working relationship. I wished they showed more of the growing relationship rather than kinda taking Ji-su out of the game with both her having her first nosebleed and then having her bursting appendix problem. Which I don’t understand why they didn’t have her get hurt in the garage raid like in the comic? They could’ve kept the reasons the same to have the group attempt to go outside but instead they took her out, just to get the group to go out? I get maybe they were trying to ground the show in a bit more of reality by trying to show how no matter what situation anything is truly possible. Still however it kinda suck not seeing Ji-su in action

Another part I didn’t understand is Ji-su’s reaction to people around her turning into a monster. When Jae-heon and her come to Hyun’s rescue and find out he’s becoming a monster, she becomes aggro and tells Hyun that she’ll kill him. However later with Im Myung Sook (the lady with the dead baby girl) who she goes to check on after she watched her attack Protein, she seems so worried. Then when she sees the claws, she goes back to being aggressive and defensive towards her becoming a monster. It seemed odd to me because why was she so harsh with Hyun but then acts worried for a lady she’s seen get tossed by a giant monster? Did she really not think that she wasn’t becoming a monster after that? Those small little character decisions really threw me for a loop because I couldn’t wrap my head around how any other person who acts these two distinct ways to both people they don’t really know. Again I wish they also tried to pursue that relationship with her and Hyun. Overall her character is done pretty well in the show, I still enjoyed her character.

Jae-heon (Jayhun)

The show I think pretty much nails most of Jae-heon’s character. I think they honestly did a great job of adapting his character. Jae-heon’s character is definitely my second favorite, as I liked the way they built him up in the story. I did enjoy the way they killed him off the show, that noble sacrifice was very well suited for him.

Lee Eun-Hyeok(Hyuk)

Hyuk is the most comic accurate character for me and definitely was my favorite from the show. I think they did a great job establishing the coldness of his character but also growing to show his true caring side. One thing I don’t understand was the fact he decided to stay behind. I understand he was going back to see first if he could convince Hyun to go with the group but also that he was turning into a monster. The rest of the group knows Ji-su was becoming a monster, why did he not just go with them as well? I didn’t see the point of letting himself get crushed by rubble whenever the group is also escaping with another person who is turning. I know this is probably to set up Eun’s sort ‘redemption’ arc in the next season and also maybe he could potentially return if they decide to bring him back. Overall I think that they did his character justice for the most part of the show, he was really well done.

Lee Eun-Yu(Eun) Eun is a completely different character than her comic counterpart. She’s a total asshole throughout most of the show up until the last 2-3 episodes though until she finally decides to show an ounce of human emotion. Honestly I have no clue why they changed her character, it seemed like such a weird thing to do for this adaptation. Her character also stays pretty flat too which is seemingly funny because when she tries to do nice things, like comfort Ji-su after Jae-heon’s death, and explain her story of how she’s trying to repay her brother, it all fails to make me want to care for her. She was so aggressive from the jump and insanely rude to everyone. Usually the ‘take no shit’ kind of characters I do tend to enjoy, if done right they can be both badass, hilarious, and one of the greatest characters in any series. In this case however I just wanted her to stop being an ass to everyone. In the last few episodes, I see how they were really trying to show the change that was going to happen to her character but at that moment I couldn’t bring myself to even try to care really for her character. She’s definitely one of the worst adapted characters in the show.

Wook

Wook I feel is an entirely different mess than Eun. I get changing things to make certain, not as fleshed out characters who are prominent in series have more importance but honestly I found it interesting they made Wook one of those, because he has a perfectly fine backstory in the comic. In the show they call him a ‘gangster’ a lot (which happens in the comic) but unlike the comic they never state that he’s an ex-police officer. It seems that in the show he’s sort of like a private detective (if you wanna call it that). The show makes him seem like this cool and collected tough loner who kinda just takes everyone else’s orders. In the comic he’s more of a secondary leader for the group which would have been a good element to see in the show is him and Hyeok butting heads. His character seems almost pointless, as he’s really only there to also do the ‘heavy lifting’ (missions) with Hyun. His character was another sort of 180 from his comic counterpart. I found his character to mainly be comical because he was unbothered by everything; he just didn’t give a fuck.

Seo Yi-Kyung

I’m probably going to be the only one that says this but I did not care nor like her character. It’s because I hate the military subplot to this story and since that’s mainly where her story lies, I can’t honestly bring myself to like her. She’s too plot convenient and honestly I’m still trying to figure out what she’s going to gain when she finds her fiancé she knows was turning into a monster and apparently ‘changed’. I understand it’s probably closure but to go as far to sell out a child who you barely even know, to people you barely even know in hopes of maybe finding your fiancé, to only be again sad when you discover you aren’t going to be able to save him as he’s already a monster, I just don’t get it. It’s a very weak plot line in my opinion and again wish they didn’t add the military subplot. Her character too is another flat character, as she doesn’t go through much change only in changing her mind about selling out Hyun to the military when she realizes that it’s essentially not worth it.

Criminals The criminals are just basic, on their very copy pasted stereotypical villain shit that we must ‘kill all monsters’ but oops we accidentally invited a half monster into our group. They annoyed the shit out of me and angered me even more as they somehow collectively got more kills than the monsters in this show.

Jung Wooi-myung (the other half monster)

So from what I could tell Jung Wooi-myung is like this leech monster that didn’t die when Hyun stabbed him with his arm wing. He also probably infected Wook’s body in the end. He plays the generic role of convincing Hyun to join his side since people won’t ever accept monsters which is true. Ultimately didn’t even care for him.

(6) Hyun’s Monster Transformation

This needed to be its own category for the simple fact that the whole scene sequence was utterly atrocious. For starters why did there need to be a mini eclipse for Hyun to transform ONE arm into this barbed spiked wing? That seemed to be thrown in for aesthetic purposes more so than having an actual reason behind it, as this was something that did not happen in the comics. Hyun’s arms transformation just seemed so bizarre. I would have been perfectly fine if the show black veins rushing through his body and him being stronger because of it, sort of like how the comic does it. However this one arm wing just seems completely dumb to me. Why would you make it a barbed wing? Why not at that point do a blade arm or like something that’s also better at bludgeoning monsters with?

(7) Final Consensus

I had initially come into watching Sweet Home with low expectations as time has taught me before that things I want that get live action adaptations may not always be that good. I set the bar low in hopes that the show would do something ultimately to get me happy and excited for watching it. Sweet home never hit that spot for me though. As I was watching I began noticing how the pacing seemed to just go out of it’s way on some points and there were continuity errors staring me right in my face. The story didn’t captivate me like the comic did, not even in the slightest. I spent most of my time watching, laughing because of the absurdities and then pondering why certain events had gone down the way the show did them. I understand that with adaptations things may change but I feel like with the adaptation with Sweet Home it changed too many key elements of the main story that were important for making the story what it is. My rating for Sweet Home is a 1/10. This definitely is not something I would watch again.

#sweet home #sweet home netflix #just my opinion #there's more i could touch on but i seriously didn't want to write any more

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ieatmypizzawithaforkandknife · 4 years ago

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MAG 019 - Confession (part 1)

Summary: Jonathan reads the first half of the statement of Father Edwin Burroughs, regarding “his claimed demonic possession.”

Our first two-parter! Not that I realized that when I listened to the episode the first time, despite it being right there in the title, because I have the observational skills of a blind muskrat...but I’m excited because I know there will be more multi-parters in the future. I like the episodic format right now, but I know that as Things Begin To Happen, I’ll appreciate the increased breadth and depth of longer stories.

89 Bullingdon Rd is the third street address featured in the series so far, the other two being 93 Lancaster Rd in episode 5 and 105 Hill Top Rd in episode 8. Unlike the first two, however, this one actually exists - kind of. According to google maps, the house numbers on Lancaster Rd in Walthamstow run from about 1 to 85, and the numbers on Hill Top Rd in Cowley run from about 1 to 75. But 89 is right in the middle of the range of house numbers on Bullingdon Rd in Cowley, and while google maps says there’s an 89A but not an 89...it’s close enough. On one hand it’s super cool that these locations are relatively real (the towns are real, the streets are real, it’s just the exact buildings that aren’t). On the other hand 89A is a little too close to 89, and I wish Jonny had picked a number completely outside the range of addresses like he did with the first two, just to avoid crazy fans descending on real people’s houses.

It is definitely worth noting the proximity of 89 Bullingdon Rd to 105 Hill Top Rd. They’re only about half a mile (or about a kilometer, since this is in the UK after all) away from each other as the crow flies. And for both of them, the location itself seems to be tied to the paranormal happenings of the episode(s) they’re featured in. In episode 8, Ivo Lensik feels that unnatural burning start when he’s alone inside 105 Hill Top Rd, which stops as soon as Father Burroughs arrives. In this episode, Father Burroughs feels that same unnatural burning start when he’s alone inside 105 Hill Top Rd, and it only stops when Ivo uproots the tree. And in this episode, Bethany claims her problems are being caused by the Bullingdon Rd house itself, though she doesn’t explain what made her think that. But it’s very concerning that she can’t seem to see the only creepy thing about the house that we’re aware of: the old Latin word written in faded blue paint on the exposed wall.

The word “mentis” is Latin alright, but Father Burroughs translates it as “mind” which...isn’t quite right. “Mentis” doesn’t strictly mean “mind”, it means “of the mind”. The endings of Latin nouns change based on how they’re used in a sentence, so if you’re talking about the word “mind” as the subject of a sentence (or as the word in general) it is “mens”. “Mentis” is specifically the possessive form of the word. I don’t know whether this was deliberate or accidental on Jonny’s part, since if you look it up the dictionary entry shows “mens, mentis”. (It’s standard practice to include both the “subject” form and the “possessive” form in the dictionary since they’re different.) It makes me wonder if this word was part of a phrase and if there were other words hidden under the wallpaper. (Also, small shout-out to anyone reading this who is also a Latin geek, and I hope I explained it well enough that the non-Latin-geeks also understand that explanation.)

On the subject of language, this isn’t the first time Latin has appeared in connection with the paranormal. Ex Altiora, the Leitner found in episode 4, was written entirely in Latin (including the title), and the Lord’s Prayer was written in Latin on that long strip of singed paper found in the second trash bag in episode 5. It’s interesting that the same constellation of details from the trash bag incident are also in this episode: Latin, Christianity, and burning.

Latin isn’t even the only dead language to make an appearance this episode. When describing his experiences performing exorcisms at the beginning of the episode, Father Burroughs recounts: “I was once cursed at in Sumerian by a young man who was illiterate.” In episode 12, the phrase muttered by the hospitalized man that seemed to summon the “lightless flame” contained the word “Asag”, which is the name of a Sumerian demon that could boil fish alive in their rivers. Father Burroughs doesn’t appear in episode 12, but if he had been at that hospital, I think he would have pegged that guy as possessed and wanted to have an exorcism performed. So is there a connection between Sumerian and possession and burning? And how do all the different dead languages that have appeared so far (Latin, Sumerian, and Sanskrit) fit together?

I am also very interested in that nurse, Anna/Annie/Anne Kasuma/Willett. (Seriously, how many names does one person need?) For my purposes, I’m going to call her “Annie” because she seems to go by that. In this episode’s statement (made in 2011), Father Burroughs gives her surname as Willett, and in Jonathan’s wrap-up at the end of episode 8 (which he recorded in late 2015 or early 2016), Jonathan gives her surname as Kasuma. As an older, fairly conservative Catholic (she was a member of the congregation at Father Burroughs’ church, fully believed in demonic possession, etc.), it is highly unlikely that she changed her name for any reason other than marriage or divorce. Ivo Lensik described her as “Malaysian”, and Kasuma is an Indonesian name, whereas Willett is found overwhelmingly in predominantly white countries (the U.S., England, Australia, and Canada are at the top of the list of countries where the name is found). So it would make the most sense to me if Kasuma were her maiden name and Willett a married name. BUT when Jonathan mentions her in the wrap-up to episode 8, he calls her “Mrs. Kasuma”. Since everything else fits with the idea that Kasuma is her maiden name and Willett her married name, I’m thinking Jonathan just messed up the honorific, since he also referred to “Miss Popham” at the end of episode 15 when “Popham” was very clearly Laura’s married name. (This overly detailed surname analysis brought to you in part by my ongoing obsession with genealogy. If anyone reading this has anything resembling a passing interest in the subject, feel free to hit me up about it. I will gush.) All of that nitty-gritty was not without purpose: I think she’s important somehow. I could be reading too much into things, but why would Jonny give her a name change if it weren’t somehow important? Even I realized the nurse from episode 8 and the nurse from episode 19 were the same person on my first listen-through, when I missed or forgot 90% of the details in any given episode, so I don’t think he was trying to trip us up. And she has a direct connection to 105 Hill Top Rd: she grew up on that street, and had a lot of information on the property’s history dating back to before she was born, possibly indicating her family lived on that street even longer. But we haven’t met anyone else with either surname, so for now that’s where it stands: possibly a lead, muddled with a probable mistake.

I was so glad when Father Burroughs made the differentiation in this episode between perception and will: “Bethany told me that her will was still her own, but she could no longer trust her senses, and had found herself doing much that she did not understand.” She tried to eat a small slab of slate, and she apparently couldn’t perceive the word “Mentis” that was literally written on a wall. This might be the first time that the author of the statement calls attention to the recurring theme I’ve been calling “altered reality”. This “altered reality” is a heavy presence in the second part of this two-parter, but I’ll wait to talk about that in that episode’s post. Coupled with this “altered reality” is the “eating of something you really shouldn’t be eating”. In this episode, it’s Bethany trying to eat a slab of slate before being abruptly pulled back to reality by Father Burroughs, only then realizing what it was. Hinted at in this episode, and shown in more detail in the next one (minor spoiler, I guess?), is Father Burroughs eating human flesh and only realizing what it was when the police arrived. The only other time I remember these two themes working in tandem is in episode 3 when Graham Folger ate a notebook. No one stopped him or made him realize what he was doing, so we don’t know for sure that his reality was altered, but it makes the most sense to me that he, like Bethany and Father Burroughs, truly didn’t realize what he was doing. I’m not convinced that the events of this episode (and the next one) are actually related to the notebook incident in episode 3, but it’s an interesting parallel.

On a completely unrelated note, I’d like to talk a bit about Father Burroughs’ “possession” itself. First off, I get that Bethany saying “I’m so sorry...it wants your faith” was supposed to be an ominous line, but why is that the only thing she said throughout the entire attempted exorcism at the hospital? She couldn’t even say, “Hey, man, this isn’t working”? All she could do was look at him with pity and say that? I’d be OK with those being her only words if whatever was “possessing” her also affected her speech the way it did to Father Burroughs later...but she specifically established that she was free to speak and act as she wished, it was only at certain times that her perception of reality was altered. So I’m a little annoyed at her for not giving Father Burroughs (or us) any kind of useful warning or helpful information during the failed exorcism.

I was really confused by the apparent theft of the sacramental wine, too. What was the significance of that? Was it just an example of something weird Father Burroughs noticed that keyed him in to the fact that All Was Not Well, or was there something more to it? (This is only a semi-rhetorical question - if the answer to this was said outright or implied in this episode and it isn’t a post-S1 spoiler, please do fill me in. I sometimes miss stuff that’s super obvious to other people.)

I also find it interesting that he can say “God” towards the end of this episode. He stumbled over it, but by contrast he was completely unable to say “Lord” and “Jesus” at the very beginning. Not sure if this is significant, since there’s no real difference between the words “Lord” and “God” in my estimation. Jesus is specifically Christian, and while “Lord” tends to be associated with Christianity, it’s not exclusive. “God” is the most general of the three terms, yes, but in context he is very obviously referring to the Christian “God”, so his difficulty with getting certain words out isn’t based solely on their contextual meaning. Jonny could have written it without him getting out the word “God” at the end and I think most people listening would have understood that’s the word he was going for. It’s either some kind of clue, or Jonny just got sick of stuttering.

Father Burroughs’ call for protection is the point at which he knows something is Very, Very Wrong, as he feels his lips move even though he himself isn’t moving them. But, as with so many of these stories, Things Were Bad Long Before You Realized It. Bethany told him “it wants your faith” years before the Hill Top Rd incident. He himself admits that his pride led to his downfall, since he initiated an exorcism/blessing on Hill Top Rd when he wasn’t supposed to be doing them at all. But it wasn’t just his pride - it was something taking advantage of his pride. I think that, as much as any person can be, Father Burroughs was a victim of whatever possessed him. He made mistakes in his life - his sins, if you’re looking at it religiously, as he did - but he never wanted to be evil or commit crimes like cannibalism. Like the characters in so many of these stories, I don’t think he deserved what he got, and I mostly just feel bad for him.

His call for protection, he says, was answered by something that was not God, and when Jonathan reads the words that Father Burroughs’ lips were forming (“I am not for you. I am marked.”) we once again hear that creepy static or interference. And I still can’t decide if this is supposed to be some kind of clue or if it’s just to make things creepier. It feels like a clue, but I can’t figure out what exactly it’s supposed to mean. Most of the times I’ve noted it appearing (probably not a complete list - I’m working on it) it appears during a specific quoted phrase or instance of someone speaking: “Can I have a cigarette?” in episode 1. “Isn’t it funny, Amy, how you can live so near and never notice. I’ll need to return the visit someday” from not-Graham in episode 3. “Some hungers are too strong to be denied” from Angela in episode 14. Laura’s sister Elena asking her “how lost I was, in a low, grating voice” in episode 15. If the examples were limited to things like this, then I’d say that it occurs whenever some as-yet-undetermined otherworldly monster is given a human voice to speak through. But it also occurs the first time Ex Altiora is said in episode 4 and the first time The Boneturner’s Tale is said in episode 17, as well as two different moments during the recounting of the story inside TBT. So how is it connected to the Leitners? It didn’t occur when Jonathan read the title Key of Solomon in episode 4, which is implied to be a Leitner. And there’ve been a few other occurrences where something obviously supernatural is happening but that doesn’t involve speech or quoted words at all: When Laura describes the light changing from appearing like an approaching candle to sunlight (which it still wasn’t...) in episode 15, and when Jonathan reads the description of the bleeding books in episode 17 (”red dripped and pulsed from the cart”).

I don’t know what to make of the creepy static yet. But my specific concern with the most recent instance, when Father Burroughs “said” “I am not for you. I am marked” is: Who are the “I” and the “you” referring to? Is the “I” supposed to be Father Burroughs, or the thing “possessing” him? And who on earth is the “you”?

This post is part of a series where I write my thoughts about each episode and obsessively connect dots in an effort to figure out The Big Mysteries of the series. All posts in this series are tagged “is this liveblogging?” Comments and messages are welcome but I have only listened to season 1, so I ask that you not spoil me for anything beyond episode 40. In the words of Jonny Sims…thanks for listening!

#personal #liveblogging #is this liveblogging?#The Magnus Archives #guys this took me so long to write because I CANNOT BE SUCCINCT #nor can I leave anything out because IT'S ALL SO INTERESTING #I am so sorry

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griseldagimpel · 3 years ago

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Valdemar Series: The Mage Wars Trilogy

So you’ve heard there’s going to be a Valdemar television series, and you’re thinking of checking out the books. But then you look and see that, um, there’s a lot of them. Welcome then to the first in a series of tumblr posts I’m going to do, where I talk about different parts of the series, although I will be avoiding major spoilers. Where to start, things to be forewarned about, etc.

Like everything, the Valdemar Series has its shortcomings as well as its virtues. There's also potentially triggering content. Plus, sometimes you're in the mood for a tragedy and sometimes you're not, you knowing? I’m going to try to hit the “big” stuff, but I can’t promise this is going to be comprehensive. It’s going to be subject to flawed memory, personal preference, my own blind spots, etc. Think of it as an informal guide, with the goal of hopefully allowing readers to make an informed decision and to prevent them from being caught off guard by something.

Alright, so first up is The Mage Wars trilogy. This is The Black Gryphon, The White Gryphon, and The Silver Gryphon. Chronologically, these are the [thus far] earliest books in the series, dealing with the Mage Wars, which was the multi-pronged conflict that basically broke the continent and shapes a lot of the world building.

The Black Gryphon is a war story, The White Gryphon is court intrigue, and The Silver Gryphon is a survival in wilderness story.

Overall, I really liked these. Amberdrake is great, as is Silverblade. As you’d might expect, lots of gryphons in this trilogy, if you’re a gryphon fanatic.

In terms of stuff I’d forewarn a reader about, The White Gryphon has a king of the Haighlei Empire (Fantasy Unified Never Colonized Africa) falling for not one, but two white women. Which is literally two-thirds of the white women that appear in the book.

There’s also a character with a mental disability who’s treated as an eternal child. The character features most prominently in The Black Gryphon.

If you don’t want to start with The Mage Wars, you don’t have to, as there are multiple good starting points in the series. However, some stuff established in The Mage Wars trilogy comes back later, so if you want to read it, I’d recommend reading it before The Mage Winds trilogy.

#valdemar #griselda gimpel's valdemar guide #the mage wars

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margridarnauds · 4 years ago

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margrid arnaud das music-i mean marie antoinette das musical for that ask meme

LET’S GO

Top 5 favourite characters: Margrid, Orléans, Louis, Marie, Fersen

Other characters you like: Lamballe, the kids, Robespierre, Danton, Immortal Marat

Least favourite characters: Hébert, Bertin, Hébert, Leonard, Jacques Réne Hébert, Drouet, Hébert...

Otps: Margrid/Orléans, Marie/Louis....I COULD ship Margrid/Lamballe and Margrid/La Motte but let’s be real I’m not going to, Marie/Orléans in a very specific way (namely Bitter Ex Friends)

Notps: Hébert/Margrid, Fersen/Margrid, Hébert/Orléans

Favourite friendships: Fersen & Margrid, Lamballe & Antoinette, Orléans & Lamballe (not canon to the musical, but was a historical Thing), Orléans & Margrid when I’m not actively shipping them.

Favourite family: Marie’s family, especially her dynamic with Margrid (LET ! MARGRID ! BE ! THE WEIRD! AUNT!) and Louis’ odd dynamic with Orléans. Really, MA is just the story of one very, very dysfunctional family.

Favourite season/book/movie: 2018 Toho Production.

Favourite quotes: .....showing myself for the Orléans Stan I am: “Oh, cowards, tremble and sleep!” Mitsuo Yoshihara’s delivery SELLS it. Honorable mention: “Just the smallest of sparks is sufficient to set dry grass into an inferno - I just need to promise them a new world where they can live in.”

That and the from the final song, the entire cast: “Can we change the world for ourselves? What can we do to break the chains of violence? What is equality? When will people finally learn from the past? Will revenge ever end? That answer can only be yielded by ourselves!”

Best musical moment: There are some REALLY good moments in this musical - Margrid calling the wrath of God down on the aristocrats during “Blinded by the Light of a Thousand Candles”, the reprise of “Blinded” when the poor join in with Margrid, the entirety of “I Am The Best”, the key change in the Korean version of “Kill the Snakes”, the part during the March to Versailles when the other women join in for the first time to tell Margrid they aren’t going, Fersen’s low note during his first love song with Antoinette, the bit during “The Only Thing I ever Did Right” when Fersen comes in for the first time and he and Antoinette duet, the bit during The Jacobin Club when the entire Jacobin Club steps out together and swears to bring down Antoinette, the bit during “Eyes of Hatred” when Margrid and Antoinette’s voices blend PERFECTLY, the bit during the trial when the crowd begins to apply pressure to Antoinette while Margrid realizes how fucked up things have gotten.

Moment that made you fangirl/boy the hardest: I was trying to not be predictable.....but look. I lose my shit every time we get to “I Am The Best”. Because they really DID give Orléans the single best song in the musical and expected us NOT to stan. That and when he takes his final bow, because he gets a reprise of the song WITH electric guitars because, yes, he’s an extra bitch.

When it really disappointed you: The 2021 Toho. I could devote an entire post to how that production disappointed me, even outside of my personal ships, but like. It was a disappointment from beginning to end and I’m actually happy that it’s out of Tokyo now.

Saddest moment: Margrid sobbing after Antoinette’s death and then having to wipe the tears off her face to meet the tribunal. And then the look on her face at the end....

Most well done character death: Marie’s - Literally the entire musical has been leading up to this and the scene itself makes a wonderful use of callbacks and musical cues to give it this sense of TENSION throughout the entire thing, which builds off of that earlier scene where Hébert confronts Margrid. We know that Antoinette is going to die - There’s no way of avoiding it, but we still are wondering what’s going to happen. What’s Margrid going to do? Is she going to risk a life of security for the sake of the woman she’s started to feel sympathy for? Are these two women ever going to come to terms with one another, with the answer being yes as Antoinette by calls Margrid by her name instead of “the girl” and Margrid gives that last, dangerous bow.

Favourite cast member: I’m not generally big on following individual cast members, but PROBABLY Sonim?

Character you wish was still alive: I. Might have toyed with a few ways of keeping Marie alive in the past.

One thing you hope really happens: Really, really hoping the upcoming Korean production is good. Like, that’s the extent of my ambition after the last Toho.

Most shocking twist: Lamballe’s Death. I have NEVER seen anyone come in prepared for it in over 2 years of streaming. *I* was shocked when I saw it because I literally never expected a Japanese depiction of Marie Antoinette to get into the September Massacres, especially do THAT extent. And it really is the point where, suddenly, you realize that NO ONE is safe. Up until this point, no one’s died. The Royal Family’s imprisoned, but there’s a certain romanticism you can find in the situation, the idea that, hey, now they’re a happy, nuclear family. Then, the show distracts you with that discussion between Marie and Margrid so that they it can SLAM the knife into your back. And, from that point, no one’s safe. Literally anyone in the cast can die, to the point where people do, genuinely fear for Margrid’s safety by the end. It’s probably one of the single best twists I’ve seen in musical theatre, because it sets the stage for the last twenty minutes brilliantly.

When did you start watching/reading?: You know? It had to have been back in 2013. A subber that I liked had JUST finished Rebecca das Musical and had moved on to Marie Antoinette, and I thought “Well! Kunze and Levay came out with a Mar’ie Antoinette musical? I’ve got to see this, it’s going to be good!”

Spoiler alert: It was not good. I made it twenty minutes in, got to the brothel scene, and never looked back. Which means that, actually, I only BARELY missed Orléans’ song.

Favourite location: Antoinette’s bedroom - Those crazy sons of bitches REALLY replicated Antoinette’s ACTUAL BED to use.

Trope you wish they would stop using: Stop trying to make Fersen/Margrid happen, it’s not going to happen. In general, there’s this idea that Margrid MUST be totally, absolutely loveless, and I don’t really see it. I’ll be the last to say she hasn’t had a hard life, but there’s this need to ISOLATE her that I just don’t really vibe with. I’m not even saying in an inherently romantic sense (in canon...I wouldn’t actually WANT to see, say, her and Orléans making out on-stage), but just in terms of having genuine connections.

One thing this show/book/film does better than others: It really does a wonderful job as far as developing two separate female characters - Which shouldn’t be THAT HARD, given you have plenty of musicals about multiple guys all the time, and yet SOMEHOW....

Also, Margrid in particular is phenomenal, as a character. It’s definitely not uncommon for people to go in for Marie and end up really, really attached to Margrid and her development.

Funniest moments: Hébert nearly getting hit with a door, Margrid peaking under her ball gown while it’s on the rack and Orléans dragging her away, the Stars and Stripes Gown....

Couple you would like to see: .....Orléans/Margrid. I know that I say I don’t want them to actually be CANON canon but also I would NOT complain if they did. Especially after the 2021 Toho production, it’s what I deserve.

Actor/Actress you want to join the cast: Park Hye Na as Korean!Margrid would kill me, I know it.

Favourite outfit: Besides Orléans’ 2018 coat (4ever in our hearts), special props to Antoinette’s golden gown in the opening. WHAT a character introduction.

Favourite item: Margrid’s little knapsack she keeps on her.

Do you own anything related to this show/book/film?: I own a ballpoint pen and a program from the 2021 Toho run - One of these days, I keep meaning to buy the German libretto so that I can translate it.

Most boring plotline: BERTIN AND LEONARD. (But, in all fairness........look, they’re annoying, but also, when they’re gone, you do miss them, because that’s when shit gets fucked.)

Most laughably bad moment: The entire 2006 Toho Cast exists just to be one very long laughably bad moment. That and, tbh, the German. Special props to the Brothel Scene.

Most layered character: Margrid. Marie is ALSO a very layered, complex character, but Margrid gets special props because, off the top of my head, I can’t REALLY think of another female protagonist, in a musical, like her. Not saying they don’t EXIST, but I’m saying I haven’t personally seen them.

Most one dimensional character: ...2006 Orléans. He Who We Don’t Discuss.

Scariest moment: See above for Lamballe.

Grossest moment: Hébert's final confrontation scene with Margrid.

Best looking male: Kim Jun Hyun’s Orléans. *Wow*.

Best looking female: Jang Eun Ah’s Margrid. Once again. *Wow.*

Who you’re crushing on (if any): ...both Orléans and Margrid. Predictably.

Favourite cast moment: Furukawa Yuta pranking Mitsuo Yoshihara by giving him “poisonous” things for his birthday, because “You are Duke d’Orleans and I am Fersen. You are poisonous and I am passive aggressive.”

Most beautiful scene (scenery/shot wise): The ball at Versailles. One of the most STUNNING scenes I’ve ever seen. Whoever did the lighting deserves all the accolades in the world for creating a scene that’s surreal, seductive, and gorgeous

Unanswered question/continuity issue/plot error that bugs you: Not an ERROR, but I’m really, really interested in the story of Jeanette Arnaud, because this woman really haunts Margrid’s entire life but there’s so LITTLE we know about her and Margrid’s feelings about her. How long did her affair with the Emperor last? Did she always know he was the emperor during their affair, or did they meet under different circumstances? Fersen was clearly able to figure out that she was a mistress of his, so how public was the affair? And, if it was that public, does it mean that she was a servant, or was she, at the very least, middle class? How did he find out her mother’s identity? Why didn’t Orléans double-check himself? Does Margrid have any living grandparents or uncles/aunts? How old was Margrid when she died? Did she die before or after Margrid was kicked out by the nuns? (In the German, it’s very clearly the former, but who knows?)

I feel like there’s a really, really dark, tragic tale underneath all this about a young woman who ended up paying the ultimate price for falling in love with someone above her station, but it’s one that’s kept to literally only a few sentences.

At what point did you fall in love with this show/book: Probably about.....five or ten minutes into the Toho, with the Palais Royal scene. I knew, from the time I saw Furukawa Yuta on stage as Fersen, that they’d changed things around, and then seeing the changes that were made, I was able to go “Oh! It’s good now!” I feel like the moment where I REALLY fell in love was “I Am The Best” because that had been a scene I’d been REALLY concerned about from the German and then Mitsuo Yoshihara casually came in there and owned it.

#lochley

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the-darklings · 5 years ago

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—𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒊𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒃𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒖𝒔 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉;

pairing: quentin beck x reader

word count: 2.8k+

summary: “He could spin you a thousand dreams, a thousand realities, but it would still end the same. With him.”

notes: Strap in lads, we’re going on a ride. Beware spoilers for far from home. Enjoy!

‘unravelling’ miniseries: | 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | . . | 06 |

gif credit (x)

“Should I be concerned?”

“No, sir.”

“Good,” Fury intoned flatly, his visible eye scrutinizing you carefully, shrewdly, “Cause the last thing I need right now is to be worrying whether you’ve been compromised. Have you?”

Your gaze focused on a spot just above his head, and you kept your expression empty of any emotion when you answered. “No, sir.”

Fury peered at you for another long minute before his expression lightened somewhat. “Beck is a good man,” Fury said slowly, watching you just as closely, “The type of good we could really use more of around here. I respect that you may have formed some sort of...connection. But right now, I need you both focused on handling this threat. Think you can do that for me?”

Your clasped hands tightened into fists behind your back, the warmth of Quentin’s ring warming the skin of your palm. “Yes, sir.”

. . .

“Whatever happens, I’m glad we met.”

What was he doing? Oh, god no.

The ring in your hand felt like it was scorching through your skin and you held it so tightly, you had no doubt it was going to leave an imprint.

The Fire Elemental roared its fury, and from where you stood next to Hill and Fury, you could just make out Quentin’s head turning in your direction for a moment. He must have said something that was lost to the roar of the monster because the next moment familiar green glow started surrounding him. His body convulsed, and you just made out Peter’s terrified shout before Quentin drove straight for the Elemental.

You didn’t realize you were running till the blinding green light took your sight, causing you to stumble against the debris. You knees creaked as you braced against a fallen chunk of a fallen building, scratching your palm on the coarse stone. Spots danced in your vision and you shook your head a few times, trying to locate Quentin or Peter in the leftover chaos.

The Elemental was gone.

Not even a trace of it remained—only the mayhem the fight with it had left behind. It was while taking in the damage that you spotted Peter—now clad in all black—rushing towards a lifeless figure on the ground.

Your stomach sank at the sight, and you dashed forward too, your fingers still impossibly rigid around the band of metal in your palm.

“Beck?”

Peter’s voice was small and thin in a way that told you he was barely holding himself together. It was clear that this struck too close to the memory of having to kneel in front of Tony as he faded away.

You rushed to them, falling hard on your knees next to the motionless Quentin. His face was covered in dust and dirt, small beads of sweat still clinging to his brow as he lay unmoving on his back.

“Quentin?” you whispered thickly, hovering your hand over his burning cheek. “Quentin, can you hear us?”

Your fingers started to tremble the longer he remained unresponsive, and you heard Peter’s breathing pick up in panic.

“Quentin?” you repeated with more force, your fingers coming to rest against his cheek.

A raspy groan filled the still evening air, and his head turned slightly to nuzzle into your hand, his eyes fluttering open weakly.

“(Name)? Am—am I dead?”

A gust of relieved breath escaped you and you laughed weakly, shaking your head, “No you’re not. Quentin, you did it. You destroyed it.”

His expression softened with wonderment and he exhaled softly, eyes shutting briefly, “You’re safe then.”

“Oh, thank god,” Peter exhaled shakily and you chuckled, nodding your head at him in reassurance.

At least for tonight, you had avoided more casualties.

You looked back at Quentin only to find him already gazing at you, his eyes half-lidded. It was hard to find appropriate words to say to him after what just happened, and especially after the bombshell he dropped on you before the battle.

Married.

Some version of you had loved this man. And you could see why.

Swallowing thickly, you pulled back your hand from the warmth of his cheek, already missing the scratch of his heavy stubble against your skin.

His expression fell slightly when you drew back but he schooled his features within seconds, grasping firmly onto the hand Peter eagerly offered to him.

“You okay, Peter?” you questioned as you navigated Quentin’s weakened body into a sitting position. “No injuries?”

“Yeah—no, I’m totally okay,” Peter quipped back right away, still sounding a bit frazzled. It was hard to keep your composure under these circumstances, so it was understandable. “Just peachy.”

When Hill and Fury found you moments later, you weren’t surprised to hear about Fury’s offer to Quentin. He would fit in, and Fury was right, this world needed someone like him.

Someone who would be willing to sacrifice themselves to save the world. Someone who would not only be a good leader but also respected and liked. The team needed that—now more than ever, and Quentin could be that missing link.

You fidgeted with the ring in your hand, stiffly standing to the side when Fury turned his attention to Peter.

“The choice is yours.”

Your bones almost groaned from how hard you were clenching your jaw. It was only respect and sheer force of will that stopped you from opening your mouth and snapping at Fury that what he was doing was not only unfair but also cruel.

Fury had always been a ruthless man—he lived a world where he had to be one, but he was always fair too. That’s why you worked by his side for all these years. Not because he went around putting psychological pressure on grieving teenagers.

“C’mon, I’m treating you both to drinks,” Quentin spoke up and you blinked yourself out of your stupor, your fidgeting fingers stilling for a moment.

“I can’t,” you said softly, ignoring the way Quentin’s eyes drilled into you at your reply. “You two should go ahead though.”

“What, why?” Peter spoke up, turning his doe eyes your way, “It—it might be fun. Just like the old days,” he added, a touch softer and your heart twisted.

The old days.

Yeah. You still remembered those. How Peter used to come to Stark Industries under the guise of his “internship” which always ended up being either training or you two crashing Tony’s private lab.

Peter hung onto every word—and actually understood most of the theory—behind whatever Tony was rattling on about on the day.

Tony acted like having you two crash his space was the worst thing in the world—often reminding Peter to stop drooling all over his workbenches—but you knew he secretly enjoyed having attentive guests who at least got the gist of what he was talking about.

The memories of those visits—the pizza and the laughter and the science you rarely understood—were precious to you. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how much they meant to Peter now, having lost Tony the way he did.

“After heroes do battle, us mortals have to do the cleanup, kiddo,” you told him with a wry half-grin. “And in case you haven’t noticed, the square is literally on fire.”

It was Quentin’s voice that cut through the night next. “Peter, can you give us a minute?”

The boy glanced slowly from you to Quentin before bobbing his head repeatedly, “Uh, yeah. I’ll just be—I’ll just wait...over there somewhere.”

The stretch of silence that fell around you wasn’t uncomfortable but it wasn’t tranquil either. Tension laid thick over you both, and you absentmindedly rubbed the smooth edge of his ring.

“If you’re angry at me—”

You laughed; an exhausted, almost disbelieving sound, “For what? Being willing to die for a world that’s not even yours? For being brave? For saving everyone here?”

“For scaring you.”

His words were soft, kind, and you felt your lips tremble before you pursed them firmly. He outstretched his hand towards you, and your eyes fluttered shut when you felt his hotter fingers on your face.

“It’s fine, you don’t owe me anything, Quentin,” you told him frankly, turning your face away and letting his hand drop. “Take care of him for me, will you? I think he admires you a lot and he could use someone like you in his life,” you requested with a nod in the general direction Peter had wandered off to.

You couldn’t quite pinpoint the expression on Quentin’s face as he peered at you, but you did know that it was making you feel exceedingly flustered the longer he did. The burning intensity that had warmed his eyes was impossible to ignore or escape.

“And what about you?” he asked, his words so soft it felt more like a silky caress against your senses. “Could you make space for me in your life too?”

Shaking your head with a light laugh, you peered at him with narrowed eyes, “That’s dangerous talk Mr Beck,” you pointed out idly, but you still reached out and brushed a spot of dirt just above his brow. “But I think I might be a little fascinated with you as well. Just a bit though. Can’t have that head too big for the fishbowl just yet.”

Yeah, you liked his laugh a little too much.

. . .

After Quentin and Peter left, the cleanup work began in earnest.

It was a slow slog because the authorities were asking one redundant question after another but thankfully Hill usually dealt with the authorities, leaving you with the management of the actual cleanup. Fury was simply overseeing the process as a whole and was already busy making plans for the trip to Berlin.

It was fine.

The mission was over.

After tonight, you could finally go home.

Home. You weren’t sure it could even be considered as such anymore.

After losing your dad, Tony and even Nat, nothing felt real anymore. In your line of work, you didn’t have a home of four walls and a wooden door. Instead, you had a band of unlikely people banding together to achieve something greater. For you, a family had been disgruntled arguments about breakfast every day with people made of flesh and blood.

Family had been the Avengers.

But then came Ultron, and Siberia, and finally Thanos.

And now with three graves and memories that you tried your best to bottle down, nothing had felt safe, familiar, since.

Except…

Your fingers slid into your jean pocket, brushing against the ring that sat safely tucked away and you smiled faintly.

Ironically enough, you knew what all three of them would say to you in regards to Quentin.

“There you are.”

Your gun was out of the hostler faster than the figure in front of you could react. Quentin’s face slackened with shock, hands flying up, familiar green vapour curling around his fingers.

“Woah, just me.”

The breath inside your lungs rushed out all at once and you suppressed a groan. “Not...the best idea to sneak up someone like that. Can your mist even stop a bullet?”

His lips parted but he hesitated in answering, making you drop your arm in disbelief, and slip your gun back into its hostler.

His hands lowered as well, the green disappearing from around his fingers and you eyed each other silently for a prolonged moment.

“Were you waiting for me?” you wondered jokingly, your eyebrows arching upwards when you realized he was standing right outside your room.

Quentin didn’t seem to share your humour, however. His expression was drawn, lips tight and shoulders tense.

“Fury told me. About you flying back to the US in the morning.”

“Oh.”

Quentin took two controlled steps towards you, and it was hard to determine if he was more angry or annoyed. His expression kept dancing between minute twitches that indicated from one to another.

“Why—”

“Because we won,” you cut in before he could get more upset. “Because we won, Quentin. You avenged your world—had almost died doing it too. You were going for celebratory drinks with a kid who needed it just as much as you did. Because we won and Fury as good as offered you a position with the Avengers. And I...I wanted to just enjoy it and not think about it.”

“Don’t go.”

It sounded like a plea with sharp edges of steel wrapped around the syllables, almost making them sound like an order.

Quentin took a step, and then another, till there was barely any distance left between you at all. “I know I have no right to ask you this. I know. I don’t ever want to pressure you into anything, but come with me. Come to Berlin. I need you by my side.”

“Quent,” you soothed and noticed how his gaze heated at the nickname. “It will be a few weeks—maybe months—at most. When Fury makes it official you can stay at the new Compound with others and maybe then...then we can get to know each other properly, without all this madness.”

Quentin cupped your face, the warmth of his hands sinking into you and momentarily hitching your breath.

He gazed at you with a tilt of his head and an odd little smile on his face.

And then he kissed you.

It started out soft; a gentle, silky brush of his mouth against yours. It was the type of kiss every girl and boy hoped to receive from their crush—the type of kiss that made butterflies explode in your stomach and your toes curl.

Then Quentin’s head tilted and he became a black hole.

A devouring, dangerous thing whose gravitational pull was proving to be impossible to escape.

The switch was so sudden you could only gasp against the intensity of his lips, tongue and teeth, exploring and marking every inch of your mouth. His mouth was hot, his teeth eager to nibble and claim, causing you to muffle a groan of pleasure every few seconds.

The only offset to the hardness of his kiss was the delicate way his thumbs traced over your cheeks and jawline. The softest, most delicate touches that made heat bubble in the pit of your stomach.

You hadn’t even realized you hit the corridor wall till the new level of support registered. There was hardly time to force air into your lungs before your fingers reached for him, tangling eagerly in his hair.

Tugging on the rich strands, only seemed to urge him further, a subdued groan vibrating through his chest with every jerk. It was like he wanted—but couldn’t—hold himself back. And that was just fine by you.

Pressing even closer, you sank your nails into the back of his neck, a near desperate moan slipping from your mouth when he grunted in appreciation again, hips pressing into yours. Harder.

When he finally pulled back for air, it was like seeing Quentin for the first time.

A wild, hungry thing stared back at you. His perfectly neat hair was in disarray and his pupils were so dark it was hard to tell his eyes were blue at all.

His stubble scraped intently against your cheek when he trailed his lips up your jaw, his words like molten honey against the shell of your ear when he whispered, “Stay with me.”

You may have been a moth, but he wasn’t just a flame.

No, he was a star going into a supernova, and you no longer minded the idea of burning and unravelling in his arms.

. . .

Quentin was going to buy Peter Parker a fruit basket.

The biggest, most colourful one he could find.

The kid had truly gone above and beyond the call of duty and played his part to perfection.

EDITH was his now.

Finally, after all these years, the key to everything was under his control and he could already see his victory in sight.

The battle was won, Fury had welcomed him with open arms and…

There was you.

You, you, you.

Peter had done everything Quentin had wanted him to do. So easy.

It should have been easy with you after this too. He had practically been on cloud nine after his toast speech, venturing back to the base to find you. There has been a grin on his face and a pep in his step before Fury had to go ahead and ruin it.

You were leaving. Going back to the Avengers HQ back in the US because the threat was officially terminated and you were no longer needed.

As if he could have that. As if the thought alone didn’t make him bristle with anger. Fury had picked up on his immediate irritation but did Quentin care? Not really. After London, it won’t matter anyway.

But with you, it wasn’t so simple. He wanted you to be there when he became an Avenger. He wanted you to want to be with him. He wanted to tell you the truth and convince you that he had to do this.

He could make you believe whatever he wanted. But—

He could spin you a thousand dreams, a thousand realities, but it would still end the same. With him.

But—

He wanted, he wanted—

Fuck.

. . .

an: uh-oh, doc. seems like the bastard man is catching the disease called “human emotions”. on a serious note, thank you so much for the love. you guys amaze me every day. strap yourselves in, we only have 2 more parts to go.

tagging: @val-kay-rie @t-swizzle-owns-me @sorryyoureoutofmyleague@songofcosplay @rooftopexy @leilei-draws @go-commander-kim @kusooi @bishop-bxrnes @donkeyshrong @antisocialshipper @whistlingwillows @dumbshittydoodles @fvckjamesbarnes @kittyv @qhbr2013 @cccecilia77 @bunnie-kookie @sataninhighheelz @fandoms-pizza-wifi-ym13 @tired-night-owl @crimson-knuckles @bees-are-more-important (thank you, everyone! hope you liked it!)

#quentin beck #quentin beck x reader #mysterio x reader #marvel #marvel imagine #quentin beck imagine #marvel fic #spiderman #spider man far from home #mysterio #spffh spoilers #ffh spoilers #fic: unravelling series

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black-stairs · 5 years ago

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Okay, finished CHoG and some thoughts ahead about characters and plotlines. Feel free to ignore if you’re avoiding spoilers. Would love to hear your thoughts and theories too -

In order of characters that stirred me the most to least -

Matthew Fairchild - Major congratulations to Matthew for being the most interesting Fairchild ever! There is just that something about him that I cannot place a finger on. He makes me curious. Like I know what “his shadow” is, and I kinda know why he is an alcoholic but I’m still curious about him. I did not start off thinking of him and Cordelia because my mind was clouded with Lucie+Matthew and Cordelia+James. But Matthew took me on that journey with him. I went through his attraction and caring for Cordelia with him. I love characters like that! I was with him throughout his little things like his hand on Cordelia's arm when he dropped her off after being nearly drowned or his face when he saw James and Cordelia in the Whispering Room, and right there with him, I went like “No Matty No! Don’t go there”. It like watching a horror movie where you peak through your fingers because you’re too scared for what's gonna happen next but too curious to not watch it. Throughout he was a rollercoaster.

Grace Blackthorn - I literally have more questions about Grace now than when I started reading the book. SO FUCKING MYSTERIOUS! She literally raised more questions than she answered. I really don’t get so many things. Who are you truly? Fae? Shadowhunter with demon blood like Tessa? A siren? (She seems to be able to control people using her voice) Why no background on her life before Tatiana? Nothing about her life with the Cartwrights? We are just supposed to take it at face value that she was a Cartwright? If you have no regard for Tatiana why mess with James by making him wear the bracelet again? If you truly love James why fuck with him? Why plot with Tatiana and send him to destroy the Blackthorn Manor in Idris if she was going to deny it to save James anyway? Is she simply her mother’s blade (as she told James nearly in tears) or does she actually enjoy messing with people (like she did with Matthew)? So many questions Grace.

Alistair Carstairs - I wish he had more book time. I would have liked to know more about him. Such a complex character and such amazing character growth. I love it! His motivations, his mannerisms, his reactions - He reminded me a little of Julian tbh. “I bear it so they don’t have to”. So brotherly. I wasn’t interested in him at all before the book came out but I found myself oddly liking him. His relationship with Charles and Thomas both so complicated, it really broke my heart like Cordelia’s to see him not happy and then he said he was going to color his hair and I had a smile of satisfaction. Self-acceptance and love are greater than anything you expect out of others. I wish Matthew had some of that too.

Cordelia Carstairs - I love her fierce headstrong spirit. I love that she does not just stand there and let things happen to her, she charges and takes control of the situation - performing at Hell’s Ruelle, Cemetry with Belial or Enclave meeting. She wants to use her mind and find her way out of situations. I love that there is a balance of physical strength and mental. She’s willing to use her intellect as much as her sword. As much as she is in love with James, I do feel like she will end up with Matthew. She seems like she would choose self-respect over blind love and I have a feeling James is about to fuck shit up under Grace’s spell.

Jesse Blackthorn - Another character I did not expect to be intrigued by. I did want to read more about him. I would love to see where he goes from here. I know he isn’t impressed with his mother at this point but I am curious to see what he thinks of Grace when he discovers she has been involved in shady shit. I love that his motivation behind giving Lucie his last breath for James was wanting to be a Shadowhunter, to be a part of something greater than himself rather than just his affection for Lucie.

Lucie Herondale - The one thing I love about Lucie is that she is a writer through and through. Only a writer observes such minute differences in body language and mannerisms like she does. She knew Matthew’s feelings for her. She saw his affection for Cordelia, She has a weird interest in spinning theories and imagining scenarios. So far Lucie has managed to keep Grace, Jesse, James, Cordelia and Matthew’s secrets. She is clearly an expert at it. I would love to see what more she does with her powers though.

James Herondale - I feel like my expectations of him were too high maybe (I have a Herondale bias) but I would have liked to see James actually doing things instead of him just finding himself in the middle of situations. It is possible his character is so blurry on purpose because of us constantly shifting back and forth between his two personalities but he seems oddly detached from Matthew as far as I’ve seen other Parabatai relationships (Alec-Jace, Will-Jem) It always seems like Matthew is more in tune with James than James with Matthew. I would love to see what breaks through his daze. I have this shitty feeling that he is going to die eventually. But more on that in an upcoming theory.

#CHoG spoilers #Matthew Fairchild #grace blackthorn #alistair carstairs #jesse blackthorn #lucie herondale #Cordelia Carstairs #james herondale

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ziracona · 4 years ago

Note

With the rumors about Until Dawn possibly being in dbd I’m curious about what the game actually is? Could you give a description of it and it’s quality?

>:-D I would be thrilled to break it down!

So, I personally adored this game. Actually, back in 2016, I bought a PS4 for the express purpose of being able to play the game more times until I got a happy ending.

Basically, Until Dawn is a decision-based horror game that is a self-reflective on horror as a genre, with a special focus on the way mental illness is treated, and a secondary focus on native tradition in horror. There are 10 playable characters, eight protagonists. Everyone can die. You swap between characters as you go, and the storyline branches depending on your decisions. Your choices alter your characters’ relationships with each other, which is important, as well as their stats (bravery, curiosity, humor, romanticness, honesty, and charity), all of which impact game outcomes and events in the story. You cannot simply win by always being as kind to people as possible, and I’d personally recommend trying to do your best, but playing the characters in-character if you want people to live. Almost everyone I’ve ever seen loses at least Matt their first time. Often Josh or Jessica as well.

Anyway, the basic plot is, ten friends are at their winter getaway on a mountain. They’re late highschool/early college age. A bunch of them decide to play a super cruel prank on one of the friends, because they all know she has a crush on one of the guys. So he and a bunch of the others have him pretend he wants to make out with her, they film her, and then shame her, and she runs off into the night crying. Her best friend tries to warn her and fails, her sister didn’t know and is furious, and her brother and his best friend are both passed out drunk at the time, and have nothing to do with it. Anyway, older sis runs out into the night after baby sis. They’re at their family’s cabin on a mountain in Canada (their family is in the movie business and super rich). You play as the big sister. The girls do not make it through the night.

The remainder of the game, you play the remaining eight friends. They meet up a year later on the anniversary of the sister’s disappearance, because the surviving member of the family, Josh, the baby brother, wants to keep their tradition going and meet up to honor them. Things start to go wrong almost immediately. Some masked man is on the loose, and begins attack teens. Meanwhile, something weird is happening at the abandoned sanitorium nearby, and inexplicable things start to happen in the woods as well. The player does their best to collect clues, which go with one of if I remember correctly three storylines? It might be four. Anyway, all clues help your survival, and give you extra dialogue and sometimes choices. It’s very good to know. You have to make a lot of decisions, and sometimes doing nothing is the right call, so go with your gut. You also find totems, which give you a glimpse into the future, and come in multiple kinds (warnings of danger, death, death to friends, fortune, or guidance--the first three are bad, the last two you want to reach. They will not make sense, but then, when you hit the moment they’re connected to, a lot of the time stuff will click, so do your best to let them guide you).

Basically, your job is to try to understand what is going on, why, and to survive until forest service can show up at dawn to get you the fuck off the mountain to safety. There’s a ticking clock letting you see how long you have left to go, and each chapter has a unique title that changes based on player choice. Also, in-between chapters, you have segments where you play as someone who for most of the game is unknown, being interviewed by a psychologist. The player answers his questions, and makes decisions in the interviews as well, and these also effect gameplay and outcomes, and are responsible for chapter names. Actually, people still haven’t even found all the things the therapy sessions effect, which I think is extremely exciting.

Review wise, horror has long been one of the absolute best genres for intense character study, because the character can be the world’s biggest piece off shit, and you’ll still root for them not to die. Literally the bar is just they have to not be so awful you want them to die horribly. This exponentially increases in video games, because you have the added motivation of wanting to succeed/win. So, UD does a great job of having a super complex cast of characters it does not apologize for, but forces you to view as the complex whole and mix of good and bad they are, and is a great character piece. I hated everyone but Josh, Chris, and Sam when I started (the only three who didn’t do the prank), but by the end Mike, the asshole who pretended to want to make out with the sister, and Emily, the resident bitch, were both characters I loved, and I think I liked everybody but one member. It’s also just a super beautiful game, and it does a great job of being scary and intense, and there’s some amazing sequences. The structure is solid. Your experience will be different depending on how many clues you get ,as will your perception of characters based on choices and motives you understand or don’t, actions you see them take or miss, but that’s just kind of the nature, and it gives it some decent replayability. Also, the dialogue is hilarious and if sometimes pretty goofy, incredibly enjoyable.

The gameplay comes in multiple types. Sometimes you walk around free-reign and look for clues, and sometimes you’ll be in cinematic cutscenes where you act via quick one or the other choices (Run or Hide, Left or Right, etc) and reaction commands. There’s also shooting challenges, where you go into bullet time and line up the cursor on a target and press shoot before time runs out (and if you fail, probably die, but it depends on the severity of the situation), as well as Don’t Move segments, which quite literally mean hold the PS4 controller as still as humanly possible. You can see the glowing sensor on the front of it on your screen, and the bounds you have to keep it in, and can try to correct if it looks like it’s going too far left or right, but these are incredibly hard--I think most people consider them the hardest part of the game--and I know a lot of people just put the damn controller down during those bc they’re so hard. (For this to work you basically have to be playing with your arms already resting on a table though, or it will sense you going to set it down and you’ll auto-fail. It has to be a situation where setting it down legit just means letting go to work). It’s PS4 exclusive game, but it’s also a free game on PS now, so you if you get the 7 day free trial, you can play it on PS now on a computer, so long as you buy a controller (or borrow one or whatever) to play with.

Overall, I think the difficulty level is challenging enough to be fun, and varied enough to not get boring, but the don’t-moves--especially at the very end of the game--can be frustrating. So, I’d recommend either prepping for them and cheating a little in the finale sequence itself (which is like 7 extremely intense Don’t Moves back to back), or living by the age-old decision based proverb “If you hit power before it saves, it didn’t happen,” or both.

The characters are enjoyable, and the story is really good. There’s multiple, well-executed twists, and it’s incredibly sad and compelling as a story--to me anyway. Overall, it’s probably my favorite horror game unless you count season one of TWDG as a horror game, and I definitely wholeheartedly recommend it--especially if you like choice-based games. I’d 100% play it blind your first time, too--that’s the absolutely best way to experience it, even if people die. But, to keep it from getting super frustrating, I’d also totally recommend playing it the “I missed an action command and my fave just died so I hit menu or power before it could try and am gonna do the fight sequence again” way too. Games should be fun! Playing blind is fun, but having a fighting chance to keep your fave alive is too, and that gets you both. Also! Take looking for clues seriously, and do it before you leave an area--the free-walk events are not timed events, unlike in Man of Medan, so it is safe to do so. Some clues will literally change the fate of your character.

Scare wise, I’d say it’s a pretty creepy game. There’s a number of jump scares, but the biggest scares aren’t jump-scares, they’re chase sequences, which are quite nice. It is scary, but not like, any more scary than other horror video games tend to be, like Outlast or Silent Hill. Some of the deaths are pretty damn gorey too, so be forewarned.

And I think that about breaks it down? I’ll throw in some pics for feel.

I could write a whole essay on why I think the narrative has intense value for its meta commentary on horror and its work as a self-reflective genre piece, but that would be rife with spoilers, so I won’t right now. Feel free to ask if you’d like to hear the short version of that, but I want to at least keep in a different post so it’s easy for people looking to avoid spoilers to do so! : )

Oh! Also as a last note, the cast is all phenomenal! Hayden Panettiere, Rami Malek, Brett Dalton, Meaghan Martin, Noah Fleiss, Nichole Bloom, Jordan Fisher, Antonella Lentini, Galadriel Stineman, Peter Stormare, and Larry Fessenden all do bang-up jobs, and it’s a pretty diverse cast too. And there’s a good dog, so games get +10 for dogs. There’s super cool making of stuff in the unlockables I enjoyed a lot, and the checkable character stats are fun. Also the intro is beautiful, and the single prettiest rendition of O’ Death I’ve ever heard.

#ask #Anonymous #until dawn #dead by daylight

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lala-pipo · 4 years ago

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(1/18) *peeks from behind the wall* I hope I am still welcomed here hahaha cricket anon is here! <3 I am very sorry for making you worry last time O.O, for sure no matter what happens to the story, I'm going to be right there to read it! Huehuehue, I literally was not lying when I mentioned that this story is bringing me lots of joy this year :3 Cricket anon is fine now! hahaha my last work place was really bad, kind of black-company-level-bad, and it really took a toll on my mental health…

Dear cricket nony, I already answered one of your non-anonymous asks privately because I was so overwhelmed by the sheer amount of email notifications I got from tumblr and Ao3 that I had to thank you right away, but I still want to do it publically because even after days I’m still overwhelmed that you took so much time to write me a whole essay. I’m still all soft and wobbly and squishy on the inside. Your notifications really made my day, week, probably month – so thanks so much again. It really means so much T___T

(2) so, I kind of took two months? break from social media and just literally try and figure out my life lol basically quarter-life crisis also happening, but yeah slowly getting better now! I hope you are doing fine as well, sending you lots of hugs and love ~^^~ Firstly though!! I wanted to say sorry too that it took a while for me to reply hahaha… BUT!! Let me tell you omg during my rest of 8 weeks, I have managed to re-read ALL. SEVEN. CHAPTERS!! So many things to share!!

I’m so sorry to hear that your last workplace took such a toll on your mental health and I really hope that you are going to get better. I cross all my fingers for you and send you good vibes only. Please don’t feel pressured to comment at all. I mean everyone loves receiving comments, but it shouldn’t feel like a chore. So if you feel like sharing your thoughts I’m always glad to read them, but if you don’t feel like sharing them, please don’t feel bad about it. <3

(3) However, since my comments were a grand total of 4,000 words lol, I inserted them in AO3 under "cricket anon" in every chapter! :3 You might get confused as you read them because I take notes as I read the chapter lol hahaha I hope my comments might bring some joy <3 Ahh! By the way! These anon messages are partly not anon since anon asks are limited to 10 per hour? I didn’t know that! :( But since I accidentally have revealed myself to you lol I think it should be okay!

I’ll also try to answer your comments on Ao3 in the upcoming days because (if I remember correctly) you had some questions and I hope I can answer some of them. ^^ But I’m impressed that you went through all the chapters again. We’ve reached 150k now, which is quite fascinating to me because there are still quite a few chapters left. I wonder how long the story will be in the end *hides* I didn’t know that either! I’ve been on tumblr for so long and yet this 10 ask limit is new information for me, but it makes sense in some way – if I think about spam accounts or people going around spreading hate or something.

(4) Also, I think I’m going to make my snorts reactions straight onto AO3 from now on, rather than spamming your ask box with 10+ anon messages hahaha but I’ll still come here to share you my overall reactions and analyzations huehuehue and also to possibly warn you about the length of the comment lol something I noticed, from chapter 1 to chapter 7, the comment got longer lol more things to discuss about, I guess!? But yeah!! Let me reply to your reply to my previous ask here!!

LMAO I admire your dedication. Do whatever is most comfortable to you, I will be happy either way ^^ I think it makes sense that someone can comment more on later chapters because the painted picture gets fuller and fuller with details, there is more information about the different characters, the storyline is more developed and so on… ^^

(5) Is the sad scene in chapter 6, you were referring to the conversation that Jong-Taem were having, and then Jong tried to diffuse it into another lighthearted banter, and Taem is just. tired. of. Jong avoiding the conversation? and despite all that, Taem still let Jong come into his room and cuddle to sleep? idk... I find that scene really heartbreaking :( or maybe it was another scene?

For me it was the shower scene tbh. I don’t know, but it always struck something inside of me (is it weird that I’m saying this although I’ve written it?) There is something very fragile about Jonghyun in that scene and Taemin does feel a little helpless and is so caught up in his own thoughts, in his own needs, what he wants (and doesn’t get from Jonghyun) and yeah – it always makes me go :( but yes, the follow up scene is sad as well because you sit there and think – you two are just so damn dumb, which is something most people, who read this story so far – seem to think constantly, because yeah, they are very dumb – each in their own way. ^^

(6) I think I mentioned in the AO3 comment somewhere that even I started to feel like Taem can just leave Jong because Jong is not trying to understand Taem, I mean, nothing to do with his mood swings or his claim that Taem will get bored of him, just that he isn't trying to see things from Taem's perspective whereas Taem is trying! so! hard! and he even tried to ignore the fact that Jong avoid the vital conversations for like the 10th time already :(

Feelings are a very difficult topic – and while chapters 1-9 are very focused on what Taemin does, thinks, wants, needs, wishes etc. the focus does shift a little over to Jonghyun starting from chapter 10. So the reader does get an inside of why Jonghyun might have acted the way he did. If his behavior makes sense is up to the reader (and Taemin as well) to decide – but I think it shines a little more light onto Jonghyun, who the reader doesn’t know much about – feeling wise –, although he’s one of the main characters of the story. ^^ It’s the onion layers that get peeled one by one. ^^

(7) Yeah, re-reading this definitely showed me muCH MORE parallelism in Jong-Key and Taem-Jong dynamics. Even with Taem's mood in a sense? Like how Jong used to be really upset when Key has a new friend, and then suddenly okay when they do sexy times. Before, I only noticed the puppy-love-ness parallel, but then there is more to it, like I said, Taem's mood affected by Jong a lot, just like Jong's by Key, and also the way Jong claims that Key doesn't understand his feelings,

(8) well, it applies to Jong not really wanting to understand Taem's feeling? by just brushing it off as Taem will get bored of him or Taem doesn't know what he is talking about. I mean as a reader, I am also not sure, if it’s either Jong doesn't care or he is scared to show himself or both or maybe there is another reason? Hahaha ^^;;

This is true and done on purpose. ^^ This knowledge doesn’t play a key (haha) part in the storyline, but it is there to show how blinded one can get by one’s own feelings. After adapting to his new life in a dorm Taemin sees through Jonghyun and Kibum’s relationship quite well, but later when it’s about his own relation to Jonghyun he’s completely blindsided and doesn’t see how unhealthy it is at first – him going back and back and back over and over again in the hope that Jonghyun’s behavior towards him might change.

(9) You mentioned that there will be more Jongtae drought, and honestly, I think they need it? I think some space for them to think about things and you know do other things and talk to other people about other things lol maybe it will clear up their heads hopefully? Ahh!! You said the beginning of chapter 5 is for your own sanity lol I totally understand ;), it was a very sweet scene, soft, and kind of endearing compared to what is coming in the next chapters TnT

It depends on how we describe the drought. The hard cut was done in chapter 8. I went in like a warrior and just cut all the strings, not showing any mercy. ^^” I don’t want to spoiler anything, but yeah – the hard drought will continue throughout chapter 9 – soft drought from chapter 10 …… till ….. *closes mouth* 6v6

Working on chapter 8 made me write two lovey-dovey JongTae oneshots because I couldn’t stand seeing them fight in my own fanfic, in front of my salad. T_T so yeah, the beginning of chapter 5 was for my sanity. While writing chapter 8 I also realized again while I never really write angst, fights – anything dramatic really, because I’m a very chill person in real life, and I like my fanfics to be very chill as well – so writing this was completely out of my comfort zone. For others it’s writing smut for me it’s writing angst lmao. I usually want to wrap up all the characters in fluffy blankets and make them tea, and yet here I am – letting Taemin suffer for so many chapters. I’m a monster T_T

(10) Yeahhh, about the fact that we don't see Key so much since it is in Taemin's point of view, and also the fact that our (the audience)'s perception of Key is very much influenced by how Taem sees Key, right? I think I even mentioned somewhere in the comments, that in a way, a Rashomon effect is present as the readers read the story right, since they are all on accounts of Taem's witnessing, but then also maybe I am just reading too much into this lol

It would be the Rashomon effect if I wrote the same fic out of Jonghyun’s perspective and Minho’s as well for example. In this case Taemin is just a very unreliable narrator and we don’t (well I do :’D) but the reader doesn’t know what’s really going on, if everything Taemin is experiencing is true or if it should be taken with a grain of salt. Considering that everyone in the dorm, except for Taemin, gets along well with Kibum, we might want to believe that Kibum isn’t the bad guy Taemin wants to make him out to be. ^^

(11) Honestly, I could hear my English Lit teacher saying "maybe that is not the author's intention" hahaha xD Yes yes yes!! more chapters for Taem's development!! I am ready for it!! I mean the end of chapter 7 marked the sign of the broken vase, and paired with the JongTae drought, I am looking forward to the next part of the story!! Some character development at this point is perfect I think!! And also!! About the advices, I think I commented a few times on some of the chapters.

(12) I didn't notice that before! And after you pointed it out, I think I made some comments on Minho's, Key's, and Onew's advices to Taem and definitely, based on how the events unfolded, we could argue that the advice was bad - in a way though, I can't seem to tell (yet, maybe?) if the advice giver was genuinely trying to help or do they have ulterior motives? hmmm but either way, I like how you placed a lot of thoughts in the story, even on things such as advice.

(13) Because for sure, in reality, people tend to give bad advices, and act on bad advices. It is true that most fics tend to focus only on the good advice and then the story ends happily ever after. Real life is most definitely not like that :3 your "slice of life" tag is holding up to its name ;) Thank you so much for your hard work!! You added 10,000 words for chapter 7?? omg… huhuhu (insert a bowing LINE sticker)... yeah, for sure, the way the story unfolds in my head,

(14) probably is different to other readers, right? And for sure, very different to you, the author! There are probably a lot more instances, scenes, implications, interpretations? that we as readers are unaware of! Thank you so much for all your hard work TnT, as readers, having more context into the story does give much more clarity on the flow of the story and the feelings of the characters, etc. Thank you for all your hard work! (bow bow bow)

That was something @hwarang-number commented on as well while betaing the story. What if Minho has ulterior motives?!?!?!?!? In Minho’s case it does make sense to give out bad advice to lure in the innocent lamb haha but for example what would Jinki’s or Kibum’s ulterior motives be? Sometimes people want to give out good advice, but in the end it just turns out to be bad advice – unintentionally – humans are just humans after all – and none of us is all knowing, we all perceive things differently, and what might work for one person might not work for the other. I did add 10k to chapter 7 and 25k to chapter 8 – because chapter 8 felt like the most incomplete out of all the chapters in this story.

I think I’ve mentioned it before but hwarang_number is super attentive while reading and figured most things out that I’ve implied – even smaller details which I thought might get lost in the chapters – which I’m still impressed by, but I also said before that everyone reads stories differently, and some aspects that might not be important to me as the author of the story might be important for the readers and the other way around. For the past chapters I just tried to fill in the gaps that might confuse readers unnecessarily. In the original draft of chapter 8 Taemin is doing the deeds with Minho far more spontaneously because he’s so frustrated with Jonghyun – it made sense like that as well – but I think his frustration got more depth through the added scenes. :)

(15) Ah!! By the way!! Please don't feel like you are forced to reply to all of my messages! Having you read them already makes me happy! I don't want to make it feel like an obligation to you because... well omg my comments like super loooooong hahaha ^^;; And yeah!! Take your time with the next chapter by the way!! I am rooting for the development of the story no matter how it will go :3 I will be waiting for the next update (though no pressure, just want to put it there haha)

Dear cricket nony, if you write me 50 message I will still try to answer all of them ㅎㅅㅎ I might just take a little longer. I hope you will like chapter 8 as well, despite the drought ^^

(16) Next time, this cricket anon will bring some more noise ~ I hope your real-life stuff works out well too :D Once again, thank you for answering all of my messages, and for writing this awesomely written fanfiction! While I wait for the next chapter, I think I'm going to re-read songs of siren hehehe :3 Please stay safe!

Please do! Song of Sirens is definitely a story I would have loved to treat like “Dorm Life” in a sense that it would have turned out better if I had worked on it longer, but I’m still a fan of the big brain energy I had running through my veins when I came up with the mythological aspect of the story…lmao So I hope you will enjoy re-reading it. ^^ Chapter 8 is longer than Song of Sirens (just as a side note haha)

(17) Ah!! I forgot to mention!! After I re-read it, my most favorite literary device that you used in this fanfiction (lol this commentary is beginning to sound like a Literature essay) is the Biblical Allusions? I am not sure if this was your intention, but the juxtapositions of Bible verses or reference to God, in Taemin’s thought reminds me heavily of Taemin’s songs, particularly Heaven? It be a sexy time song if you look at the lyrics, but the composition is that of a choir church song

(18) I find the contrast chilling, and maybe you were trying to invoke that feeling to the readers? Orrr maybe I am perhaps, indeed, reading too much into this hahaha ^^;; but really! I really enjoy reading your fanfictions and coming up with analyzations, it’s very fun, and the fact that I can discuss or ask you questions about it is just makes it even more fun – since in Literature classes we can’t actually ask the author of their true intentions right hahaha okay!! I am done :3 Thank you!! <3

It was my intention and still is, so I’m glad you picked up on that. ^^ I always wanted to write a fanfic in which Taemin’s religion plays a role – even if it’s just on the side – I always make some references to Dante’s circles of Hell (when Taemin is being dramatic again) or I also made a reference to Hieronymus Bosch’s painting The Seven Deadly Sins and the Four Last Things in chapter 8. (I’m a big fan of his work – that dude was wild – the way he painted blows my mind every time I look at one of his paintings). So yes, dramatic Taemin talking about religion and throwing around with biblical references is my brain being wild. ^^

I would say that ‘Dorm Life’ is not a really deep story, but I did put a lot of thought into it to not make it your regular smut/romance fanfic. I mean it took time, still does – but I’m glad when people, like you dear cricket nony, appreciate it. So thank you so much for your kind words and sending me all your thoughts and interpretations. <3 I hope you will have a lovely December – please stay healthy and please take good care of yourself. <3

#cricket nony #non-fic post #dorm life #Anonymous

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flyswhumpcenter · 5 years ago

Text

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. Green deltas are for requested prompts, which is none rn, as my inbox is empty.)

Sleep deprivation, written by someone who doesn't like being sleep-deprived.

This was a request I didn't expect to get, considering it's been literal months since I've gotten one (and longer since I've actually delivered on one... Sorry again, Hubert anon). Thanks for it, Nonnie! I hope you like what I'm delivering haha. We're in the last 5th of the card, which is insane considering it took me a year to complete my first. I've recently gone back to it because wowie kazoowie it's fandom frenzy season again and SwSh has hit full-force with "I want to see more whump of these characters and I'm sure as hell gonna provide it". Nonie's alternatives made me wanna write stuff about Milo now, ah.

As to the story itself, I decided to make it kinda angsty because what's the point of writing Bede if it ain't to write angst about this guy being abandoned twice and a half? It's a slight canon divergence on what actually happened, but y'know, fanfiction has this cool thing that is "ignoring canon if it starts being inconvenient to me". Also there's Opal because I love this fairy grandma with an obsession for pink and not wanting to be told she's 88-year-old. Hell yeah.

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Journey Without a Destination

Summary: Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see when you are on a journey with no end. Without a point to his life and without a place to stay, Bede journeys day and night, finding some sort of refuge from himself in a forced spell of insomnia.

Fandom: Pokémon Sword & Shield (spoilers for up to the 6th Gym, slight canon divergence)

Wordcount: 1.6K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo

AO3 version available here.

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Keep going, keep going, for there’s nothing to see here.

Pointlessly wandering around the Wild Area, he has nowhere to go and nothing better to do than train and train until something happens or the sweet release of death arrives. There’s nobody for him to get back to, nothing for him to do, and no objective left for him to fulfil. Simply put, he’s stranded, alone with himself, with no Wishing Stars to collect and no Gym Challenge to complete now that he’s been stripped down from his endorsement and thrown away like mere garbage.

Nothing tastes the same, now. There is no pleasure in training when he knows he won’t be able to enter a stadium ever again, no spice to finding new creatures and see if they possibly match his team’s theme. There’s absolutely nothing but bitterness on his mind and salt to be spilled over the wounds he can’t be bothered to patch up, since there’s also no point in railing himself back up again.

And he supposes that’s his fault, in the end.

It’d be easier to blame Gloria and all of her little friends; but as much as he’d like to believe that, it’s not the case and he knows it. She happened to be there, her and that redhaired pigtail woman that’s apparently making research on… whatever she’s making a research on. Thing is, Gloria wasn’t the one who went to get the Chairman, wasn’t the one who called on him: she was merely standing there, contemplating whatever ugly doodle some kid had left on that crumbling wall. That somehow upsets him even more.

There’s also very much no point to mentally ramble about that now. What’s done is done: he’s been disowned, left to rot, with nowhere to go and nothing to accomplish. He’s, by all means, useless and nothing more than a waste of oxygen and resources; and yet he can’t bring himself to just vanish. It’s like he wants to suffer just because disappearing now would make the people who betrayed him right and his only wish, right now, is to either get back at them or regain their trust. He’s not sure whether or not he’d even get affection back (or if he even got “affection” in the first place back there. Not like he’s had much of a model to base himself off).

So, he’s been walking around, avoiding human interaction, with his sole source of social anything being his party. At least, as long as they’re his Pokemon, they won’t abandon him, right? Yeah. They’re always going to be together, between a rock and a hard place. Too bad they don’t seem to be able to tell him about their opinion on the matters at hand, because their telepathic abilities haven’t developed enough yet for that as far as he knows. Man, he wishes he’d be able to talk to them and get an answer instead of just throwing move names at them when he has to fight against the wild population and the couple Trainers dumb enough to fight him.

He still wrecks through their teams, but it has none of the flavour it used to have, and it ultimately only buys him some more money to spend on whatever he needs to continue fighting. Fighting for what other than futureless survival, he doesn’t know, and he doesn’t want to know.

As such he’s been walking for days and days, seeing the same stones and weeds all the time, unaware of how long has actually gone buy. He has no ingredients to make curry for his team or himself, resorting to eating whatever he can manage to get his hands on, never settling camps because staying immobile means possibly dying out without having been able to avenge himself. If he stops, he may never resume his journey without a destination; so he never stops, always tries to keep himself busy, even if it means having as sole distractions his own breathing, the faraway cries from the creatures inhabiting the land and whatever the weather decides to throw at him while his team rests. Can’t fight for your life if you have nobody to fight alongside with.

(Pokemon are the only living beings that haven’t left him anyway).

He’s tired. His feet hurt as soon as he takes a step forward or backward, tired of being pushed around when they have nowhere to go and nowhere to rest at. His hands hurt from the cold and almost-frostbite he develops when he crosses across the snowy areas, when he has to gather the balls of his fainted partners whenever he gets assaulted by something bigger than any of them are, tired of having to move and hold things when none of them have meaning or weight to bring to the table. His head hurts from the lack of rest and the tears he can’t always keep to himself, upsetting the Pokemon who haven’t fainted just yet.

Yet, even if he piles on fatigue like he’d put on clothes during the harsh winters, he refuses to sleep. It’d be letting his guard down from dangers coming from both the outside and the inside. It’d be being vulnerable during the downtimes in his tent to vandals and thieves, and during his sleep to nightmares about what’s to come and what could have been, what should have been. He doesn’t want to cry himself back to sleep when he could just ignore it all and simply walk.

Life is simpler when you just walk, walk, walk all day and all night long so he tells himself the same song over and over again.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see when you are on a journey with no end.

But, like everything, even he ends up abandoning himself and his feeble principles: before he realizes it, he’s heading to Hammerlocke yet again, feet heavy and eyelids heavier. His eyes have stung for the past day and night with sand, snow and exhaustion, his legs barely move anymore, his balance has been destroyed and buried. The voices in his head most likely don’t exist outside of it, plaguing his thoughts with things he didn’t need to hear.

His thoughts are too cloudy for him to even function properly anymore. He can’t remember how he got there, or why, even less what’s the point of it all. He doesn’t know which day of the week it is, or even which month. Climbing the stairs is painful and drains too much out of his energy, but he then remembers his party is almost fainted and he’s out of items to nurse them back to health, so he has to get up there and do something about it…

He wants to fall asleep right here and there, on the steps, but he can’t.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing to see in the depths of a desperate soul in search for something it cannot find again.

He has to continue. For what, for who, how and why, all of that doesn’t matter anymore; he just needs to keep going. To keep going and never stop to think ever again.

He supposes the lack of sleep starts getting to him when he can’t focus his eyes on anything in front of him, vision swimming and eyes bleary from the endeavour they’ve gone through until now. There may not be any torrential rain, sandstorms nor snowfalls in Hammerlocke, but there is the blinding sun that gives him a lethal headache and blinds him enough for him not to be able to tell where he’s setting foot anymore.

It’s no wonder he doesn’t manage to rise back up when he eventually tumbles, loses what’s left of his sense of balance and falls to the ground, scrapping his palms and knees, hitting his chin on the pavement, before everything turns fuzzy and dark. Maybe his destination-less journey has finally hit a stop, a halt, or perhaps its actual end. Maybe he doesn’t have to keep walking, keep moving, with no energy and no determination aside from basic survival and vague plans of revenge he doesn’t quite know who to target at.

Maybe that, now that he’s tired enough, he won’t see how much of a failure he’s been in his sleep.

Keep going, keep going, for there is nothing left else to do for a soul whose purpose has been robbed from it…

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Opal immediately gets surprised when, while in Hammerlocke for absolutely unrelated reasons, she finds an unconscious boy lying not far away from the stairs to the Wild Area. Aside from his pinks and purples, and his unlikely enchanted-looking hair, he looks less than stellar, weakened by the weather and the exhaustion that must be eating away at his bones, judging from the deep rings under his eyes and the feverish hue plastered over the bridge of his nose. She’s seen him somewhere before, she’s certain of it; but all she can remember from that is a sense of betrayal and a feeling of cold-hearted abandonment, so she walks up to him.

“Oh, such a fairy-like young man…”

How is an old lady like her supposed to let such a poor boy, moreover one who could become her successor, in such a dire situation? He seems to have gotten himself in quite a lot of troubles, even more than those she has heard about from the other Leaders and information broadcast in her theatre. It’d be too cruel to let him in the open like that. She has to at least get to know him, to discover if he is her true successor.

For now, thinking of the near future has little to no point, she’s better off calling for help before the boy suffers from hypothermia in the harsh winter sunny winds of Galar. Perhaps she can give him what he doesn’t seem to have anymore…

Keep going, keep going; for there is a purpose to everyone in this world, a purpose you have yet to find for yourself, waiting for you at the end of the seemingly endless journey.

#pokemon #pokemon swsh #pokemon bede #bede swsh #sleep deprivation #light angst #bad things happen bingo #bthb 2

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nikky-the-writer · 6 years ago

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Diego x Reader

Part 4 (Final part)

(You can find previous parts on my Masterlist on my page)

Warning: cursing, mentions of death, spoilers for the show

Summary: Reader is coming back to the place where she has lived since was seven and never fitted in except with Ben and Klaus

A/N: So this is the end..... I don't think that I've ever finished a series this fast so thank you for all the messages that helped me to finish it!!!! I hope that you will like this, tell me what you think!!

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Eight weeks had passed by since you left the house with Klaus and Ben. Since then, the early days had been filled with sorrow, anger, and pain. The pain was mostly present when you would help Klaus. However it was worth it, everything was worth it as after so many days of hurting you and Klaus made an improvement and with every day passing by it was getting easier for both of you.

There were still moments of doubt for Klaus, moments of weakness when he was ready to drive to the nearest town, but for the first time in his life, his actions were having a lot of impact on the person he cared for. He loved you, and he didn’t want to see you hurt especially as you would say to him every day how proud you were and there was a lot to be proud of. He didn’t change drastically, he was still an ass to both you and Ben, but he was sober and in touch with his powers more than ever before. He was the reason for the calmness which surrounded you after horror, he was the reason you got not one but two brothers back with you.

“True or false, Five is an ass?” Klaus asked as his fingers gripped the edges of the fabric so that he could swing the hammock where you’ve been lying. “Are we talking figuratively or literally?” you questioned Klaus as you were lying on the opposite side of him hoping that he won’t throw you on the ground with the way he was swaying you between the two large oak trees just at the brim of the lake. Your head was settled on Ben’s chest and also as at first it was surreal you quickly got used in having him around thanks to Klaus. However, Klaus sometimes used that against you, if you didn’t do something that he was too lazy to do he wouldn’t use his powers to get Ben for you. He never really meant it and usually, all three of you would end up doing what he had to, but you wouldn’t like it any other way. “Does it matter?” Klaus said narrowing his eyebrows at you. “Your questions are stupid,” Ben said. “Oh really, my questions are stupid?” Klaus questioned after letting out a humorless laugh. “Your every question started with ‘if I were alive I would’, I don’t even care what you are doing right now.” “Stop it,” you warned Klaus, kicking him with your foot in the shoulder. “Ouch!” “I only touched you, you big baby!” you mocked him and he was quick to defend himself from your words. “I’m a baby? Why don’t you tell me then who is crying desperately at night?” Klaus teased and he could see the confusion on your face however he didn’t explain it entirely with words. He threw himself from the hammock on his knees. His face looked as he was about to cry when he started screaming as a desperate widow. “Diego!” he screamed as he reached with his hands towards the sky. “Diego!” You couldn’t help yourself but roll your eyes at him and if you had anything close you would probably throw it his way. “You know what? Five is not an ass, you are,” you stated, moving your attention to Ben and then Klaus started screaming again. “Diego!” “Stop it!” you yelled at him aware that he knew about your crush when you were kids as you would constantly avoid Diego. Klaus didn’t really get it, how could you like him when you would literally see him only when was needed and that was while you would be eating and your gaze on your plate. However, he was also surprised when the crush suddenly ended at least that’s what he thought as it was as if his brother was dead to you. “Just text him,” he shrugged as he laid back on the grass. “Why w…how…” “Oh, I know about the secret little text you got,” he teased winking at you. “How would you kn…Ben, please tell me that you didn’t,” you begged turning your head towards him, and he looked away from guilt. “I only wanted for him to talk to you, you were sad.” “And you thought that a person who mocks me would be nice about it?” you questioned and Klaus placed his palm against his chest as if you have hurt him. “Now I finally understand why you even started that pointless conversation when we arrived.” “I was nice,” he was quick to say. You stared at him intensely not believing what he just said. “No, you weren’t, it had no sense…you told me to burn his eyebrows, what would that do?” “He would have no eyebrows,” he simply said as if that was the perfect explanation. “And?” Ben questioned “I always have to draw everything to you, he has no eyebrows, he has no love life, just like you… actually, just like all three of us…wow we suck.” “You do,” you said smirking. “Oh, is the Virgin Mary speaking?” “Does the guy who compared his brother with an STD has any right to talk to me with that attitude?” you questioned raising your eyebrows at him. “That was not cool, Klaus,” Ben said. “Oh, shush you,” he was quick to dismiss Ben. “Why don’t we all go out?” “Are you blind Klaus, because you obviously can’t see the nature around you?” “I didn’t mean that; I thought just t-” “Don’t even bother finishing that sentence, I live here for a reason Klaus, there is no people, no parties,” you stated actually proud of that although it was lonely, you were far away so you wouldn’t hurt anyone. “And clearly only solitude, only three lively old ladies, actually one dead who just stare at the lake all day,” “Do you really hate it here?” you asked with a lump forming in your throat as you didn’t want to make him be where he really didn’t want to be. “I…I…” “He finished the final box of cereals this morning,” Ben stated aware of the cause of his brother's behavior. Because the first time you arrived here you ate cereals together and then every morning you would eat together, however, you overslept today and you weren’t aware of that. “Are you fucking with me right now?” you asked with your eyes wide open, ready to jump from your eye sockets. You couldn’t believe that all of his drama was about his cereals. “Is it weird that I would take you on the offer although I’m not high?” he questioned as you obviously didn’t see how much it meant to him. It was sort of his new routine with you and he was afraid that he will relapse even with a change as small as that. “Klaus!” “I’m only joking….maybe…” You jumped from the swing towards Klaus. Soon after you ended up rolling on the ground with him until you both rolled into the lake wetting your clothes. “I really hate you sometimes,” you said with a smile on your face as you sprayed him with water. “Now, make a list and I’ll go to the grocery store, alright? And please don’t try to smoke grass again?” you added the last thing as if you were a parent telling your kid to not do something when you were aware that they will still do it no matter what you say. “I did it one time, one time and you will never let go of that?” “It wasn’t even dry, I still can’t understand it,” you shrugged glancing towards Ben as he was usually the reasonable one. “He was too desperate to wait,” Ben shrugged as Klaus didn’t listen to him as usual. Klaus had it enough with you two going against him so before you were too far he yelled making you turn around. “Take your phone with you to put your lover out of misery, if you even can get a signal!” “Well, I’m going to civilization, have fun with nature,” you yelled back hearing him groan from defeat.

______________________________________________________________ You were pushing the cart towards your car while staring at your phone and one line on it; it was the most you could get for your phone however you didn’t know if you needed it. You rarely used your phone and only your mom had your number, but you weren’t staring at the text you got from her, but from Diego. It was sent to your phone not even ten minutes after you left and you couldn’t force yourself to answer, as you didn’t really have anything to say. You stared at his message for eight weeks and you couldn’t understand what he meant with it. It was so simple yet so confusing: ‘I meant every word I said’. It just wasn’t possible for it to be true, it just wasn’t. There was something in your heart telling you that it’s true, just as so many moments during your childhood, however, your brain always had the last word, and it said that Diego hates you. And with that knowledge you were defeated as you loved the boy who hated you, there was no happiness in that. “Y/N!” You heard a voice behind you as you were putting the last bag in your car. You had to close your eyes for a moment before turning around as you couldn’t understand why anyone of them would come here. “Alisson? What are you doing here?” “I was looking for you,” she admitted as she stepped closer only for you to step back. “Of course you were, because of what reason?” you asked suspiciously after closing the trunk. “Look, you need to listen to me, alright?” she asked as if she was in hurry and whatever she had to say was important. “I don’t have to do anything except to go home,” you stated coldly not bothered with her or any problems that she decided to bring here. “I’ve been looking for you for eight weeks,” she admitted and you narrowed your eyebrows at her not understanding what she expected from you as you sure as hell won’t applaud her for that. “And should I congratulate you for finding me? I probably messed up.” “No, you actually did a good job, to not be found, but I u-” “Rumors, I know you don’t have to explain; now I have to go,” you said sternly already heading towards the door not even thinking about returning the cart into its place as you just wanted to go home, far from her and all the memories. “Just give me a minute.” “I don’t know why you are here but if you try your stupid rumors on me, I will hurt you before you say the third word.” “He doesn’t hate you,” she said quickly and the words left you shocked for a second before you laughed at her. “Oh God, just stop it, would you? You never even cared for any of us except for your dear Luther, why do you care about his supposed feelings now?” “Because it’s my fault.” You could see that she meant it, but you couldn’t understand why something she did to Diego had anything to do with you, except that she was a bitch who fucked her brother’s mind. “You made him think that he loves me?” you asked finally only to be met with silence so you continued. “Why would you in the world do that? Did he have a crush on you and you needed a scapegoat so you chose me?” “Do you remember when we were kids; it was actually a few days before father locked you outside and the day just after Ben h-” “I remember.” “That day I saw you with Luther in the hallway,” she stopped for a moment having a hard time admitting what she had done. “He was touching your hand and you had this smile on your face…you seemed so happy,” her eyes were welling up as she tried to explain as if it hurt her to say it, or maybe just to admit her actions. “Luther didn’t make me smile and my hand was hurt, Ben accidentally hurt me and…” you stopped for a second as you moved your fingers over the scar. “No…he…” you whispered confused as the memory that came to you as it wasn’t possible for it to be true. “Diego fixed your cut and he made you smile, and I didn’t know that then. I was jealous an-” “He kissed me…” you whispered as your palm moved to the side of your cheek as you remembered it, you couldn’t understand why did you believe that it was a dream, maybe you just assured yourself that somebody who hated you couldn’t have done that. “But he hated me…why?” your voice was silent as a whisper as your mind couldn’t connect the dots as it was forced not to connect them. “I told you that he hated you,” she finally said staring at the ground. “But you don’t care about Die…” the words died in your throat as you finally realized what you never thought could be true. “Oh, God you are a bitch!” you screamed in her face not believing what she just admitted. “You thought that Luther liked me so you made me believe that the boy I loved hated me because you couldn’t take your fucking precious time to make it specific?! “I made a mistake, I only didn’t want for y-“ “You know what is sad?” you asked completely done with her and with her apologizes. “You think that it was a mistake because you weren’t specific when actually it was a mistake to do that to your own family. I could never connect the dots for something so weird in my brain, but it never even crossed my mind that you had something to do with it, as I would never do something that selfish to my own family.” You declared with tears in your eyes as you she managed to break you in pieces. She took away almost your whole childhood and adult life while she stole for herself the perfect life she wanted until it all fell apart. “God, I hate you, your daughter is so much better without you, you don’t even deserve to have her.” “I…” “I can hardly say this as I don’t know you, but knowing at least one percent of you I’m sure that I’m the first person hearing this, you lied to them didn’t you?” you questioned wiping your tears quickly not even looking at her anymore as you struggled to stop your hands from shaking as you opened the door. “I said that it was probably my fault, I didn’t want for them to hate me,” her voice came out soft, almost as a whisper. “You didn’t want for them to hate you, poor little Alisson,” you mocked. “I wonder how it feels when a member of your family hates you.” “You only thoug-” “You are blessed with your powers, you don’t enter minds, you just spread rumors,” you stated rather calmly as you were ready to enter your car, but before you do you had to tell her what she actually did to you with one simple rumor. “What do you think how my mind reacted when it was suddenly convinced that I was hated by Diego? I started doubting my own memories, I started seeing things in other people’s behavior which weren’t there as my brain couldn’t process Diego’s actions towards me with what I was convinced was true. You fucked my brain, you fucked my life, Alisson,” your voice went higher at the end as you couldn’t take it. “I was just a kid…” you whispered still not believing that she did it because of jealousy, because a family wouldn’t do that. “I’m sorry.” “No you are not sorry, so stop saying that, because if it was true that I liked Luther you would be alright with me staying out of his way, but now…now you feel guilty and I will never forgive you for what you have done.” “Y/N, just pl-” she begged as you turned your back to her only for you to glance back. “Do you really wish to continue this conversation, because I can hurt you? You are weak and you will never know the real pain that comes with my powers, with Klaus’ with Ben’s, it fucks you up and you…” you couldn’t even describe the horrors you had seen and done, but at the moment it didn’t matter as this betrayal hurt so badly. “I thought that you were my sister,” you said silently looking straight in her eyes. “I will tell them, we can fix this,” she pleaded. “Fix what? We are not kids anymore you should’ve learned that not everything that was broken can be fixed,” you exhaled slowly. “It seems that one of my sisters died years ago and I wasn’t aware of it until now…” you stated before sitting down. “Have a nice life Alisson, enjoy in everything that you’ve never deserved,” it was the final thing you said before you closed the door. You could see her crying next to your car, but you ignored it as it wasn’t her who was truly hurt, but you as well as Diego. And now there was only one thing left to do before you started the car and headed home leaving Alisson and what she did behind.

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It was a quiet day as you were sitting on the small wooden pier while Klaus was constantly jumping from it into the water splashing you in process. You were supposed to be reading a book while the sunrays were dancing on your skin, but after Klaus jumped the first time the drops of water fell on the pages dissolving the ink. So now your feet were in the slightly warm water as you stared ahead at the peaceful lake and the relentless soul in it. But you weren’t alone with Ben next to you and no words were needed as all three of you were at peace. It was oblivious that Ben will never be truly back, but what you had now was as if he was there only never aging while you and Klaus and rest of your sibling will turn gray and wrinkly, he will stay the same however only if he stays in good graces with Klaus. As there are a lot of years ahead and you are all far from people, you could only hope for the best. Everything was put in its place, all the old memories were left behind and you were eager to start working on the new ones. It took time but you even reached to Vanya and Five who will come to visit you next week as well as mom and Pogo. Everything was peaceful, everything was as it was supposed to be, until the moment it wasn’t. Until the moment you were picked up from the pier and thrown into the lake. You had no time to catch your breath before you were submerged moving your hands and legs to reach the surface, however soon it wasn’t needed as you were pulled out with your head piercing through the calm surface. The drops of water were sliding down your face as you were coughing out water as you actually swallowed a lot. And the second you managed to wipe your eyes from the water you were met with two puppy eyes. “I almost drowned,” you exclaimed moving your hands slightly to stay afloat. “I would save you, that is kind of my job,” Diego said trying to stop himself from smiling. He even had to bit on his lower lip as he watched you. “So you commit a crime and then you do what exactly?” you asked staring at him and slowly moving towards him. “And then I save the day.” “Oh, honey, you didn’t save it, you just pissed me off,” you smirked at him before suddenly pulling your hands from the water splashing him across the face. You didn’t stop until he cached your hands bringing you closer. There was a moment of silence as he stared at you, of course until Klaus decided to speak up. “Just kiss, as if you haven’t done it already, and even more than that,” he yelled as he was sitting on the pier in one of your long shirts next to Ben. “No, wait,” he yelled again as you and Diego were inches away from each other. He even stood up as you both glared at what he was doing. “There is a child present,” he said gesturing towards Ben who moment later pushed him in the water making you laugh. “I can’t believe I actually lived so many years without him,” you said softly. “And without Ben,” you spoke placing your hands on each side of his neck as you stared into his eyes. “And without you.” Diego’s smile only grew as your lips met, however, it didn’t last long as Klaus pulled you under water taking you away from Diego as after all he was your favorite.

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A/N: Thank you for reading!! Feedback is appreciated!!!

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#the umbrella academy imagine #diego hargreeves imagine #the umbrella academy fic #the umbrella academy #diego hargreeves x reader #ben hargreeves #klaus hargreeves

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