#I have applied for only one study program

[sh0ek0]

You know that feeling when you chronically always procrastinate everything in your life and think to yourself "oh, this will work out somehow" and then it actually does work out somehow and you have that nagging feeling that it's going too easy? It's been like that my whole life and I can't shake the feeling that the universe is plotting something against me

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[bunnihearted]

🤧🐀🌧️🌊

[pandoratelenor]

I am applying for another grad degree. I already got a masters in gender studies but

Idk if i would choice to start to study again if i get accepted but. I applied

[ichigosoju]

🍪🥛

[artemismatchalatte]

Maybe I'm a bad English major but I'm not thrilled about my next class. It's Shakespeare. I honestly don't like him as much as I like many other genres and writers. I understand why I have to take the class (he's historically significant) but wish I had other choices.

[mayonakano-archive]

love when my dad talks to me about Adult Things and Uni like yeah i know nothing about my senior shit nor the colleges i'm applying to, nor have i done anything we discussed when i turned 18 a month ago. peace and love <3

[peaceblank]

Should I pursue a degree as pathology assistant, it pays well, but I'd have to stick around in this job, and I dont want to go back to school again.

[beepathan]

IM SO FUCKIN CLOSE TO BEING DONE WITH SCHOOL FOREVERRE

[dcxdpdabbles]

DCxDP fanfic idea: Big Fish in Gotham Pond

Based off of @saphushia art found here. . I just loved the idea of Tucker not knowing his skill level because he grew up in the boonies

Tucker gets scouted by Wayne Enterprises after he fixes a kid's computer game while in Gotham visiting Danny.

See, Tucker always known he is passable at tech- one has to be when a technology theme ghost is consistently harassing one's best friend- but to be good at something in a small town like Amity Park didn't mean much .

It's a big fish in a small pound sort of deal. That's why he's never put much thought into it. If Tucker were ever to rank himself in terms of school grades, he would say his computer skills were about a C-.

B+ if it was just coding.

His parents also don't think much of his obsession with his PDA or phones. They thought he waste too many hours on them like the rest of his generation.

It didn't matter that Tucker's technology was about five or more years behind his classmates.

The Foley were hard-working people who barely scraped enough for bills. They were never below the property line, but they danced on it often enough that Tucker knew never to ask for unnecessary purchases.

For as long as he could remember, his parents have always worked long and hard hours. He never blamed them for missing so much of his childhood, in fact he was grateful that they worked so hard to keep the roof over his head, but he did miss them.

That's why Danny's house became a haven for him. He was always at the Fenton's place because the loud, wacky family was much better company than the home silence.

Tucker knew that his family's financial situation didn't change how Danny or Sam viewed him. They had his back through tick and thin just as he did for them, but as they got closer to graduation the difference between them became jarring.

Sam had easy picking of what she wanted to do and where she wanted to go. Her parents were so overjoyed that she wanted to go to a university that they didn't even argue about her wishing to major in botanical biochemistry.

She had started house hunting in Star City midway through senior year. Her parents would gift it to her as a graduation present. Sam would live there for the next eight years to finish her degree.

Danny's parents, while somewhat eccentric, were also certified geniuses. Between the two of them, they had five PHDs and were often freelancing for companies when not doing ghost research. They too could send their two kids to college States away with housing not being a issue.

Jazz went to Metropolis to study Physiology. She lived in a small apartment but was doing well off her scholarships and parent's funding. Last he heard, she had a part-time job at the Daily Planet as a research assistant to gain some independence.

Danny wanted to go to Gotham for their engineering program. He, too, had an apartment of his own, with scholarships and equal funding from his parents. He also worked at Wayne Enterprises, but he was a receptionist. He hoped that once he graduated, he could apply for their engineering program

Not Tucker. His family could only help him get into Community College near Amity. He also couldn't afford to move out so he stayed with them, picking up a part time job to help out when he could.

Tucker is a first-generation college student so even though it wasn't much, he loved to see how his parents glowed when telling others their boy was futhering his education. He wanted to do something that paid well- and after years of patching up Danny- he figured nursing would do the trick.

Tucker would do all his basics in the community College, take a break to save up some money and then move on to the bigger schools.

The day of the graduation felt bittersweet. Team Phantom was finally adults, finally starting out in the real world, but while Danny and Sam moved on to bigger and better things, Tucker knew he would be left behind in little no-where Amity Park.

He never brought it up, but he felt a small dosage of envy the last day of summer before his friends finished packing and left.

Despite both being gone, Tucker had little to no social life even though they called, texted, and emailed often. His days blurred between class, work, and home. Even then, classes were long and tedious, work often ending with one or more customers screaming in his face to try and get free food.

His parents quickly started to nag that he should find a wife as they had married young. They couldn't figure out why he didn't want the same, even though he had no social life again.

Life became dull.

Tucker's only sparks of joy were playing online with Danny and Sam - when they found the time to log in or re-coding his old tech to try and salvage it whenever it broke down.

Soon, it became apparent that Tucker was slowly lacking motivation when he started skipping classes to sleep in and started feeling anxious when he needed to clock in for shifts.

It leads to him barely getting out of bed.

He felt horrible about it, thinking his parents sacrificed so much for him only to have him throw away the opportunities they gave him, and the cycle of not being able to get out of bed would start all over again.

It was Danny who caught on, and all but begged Tucker to come to Gotham for a weekend. He even sent money over for the plane ticket.

Tucker couldn't have gotten on that plane fast enough. He arrived early on Friday since the tickets were cheaper- and Uber over to WE headquarters to pick up Danny's keys as they agreed.

That way, Tucker could sleep and rest in the apartment while Danny worked.

Danny would finish his shift and have the weekend plus Monday and Tuesday off to spend with Tucker. When he arrived, Danny was helping a school check in for a field trip, so Tucker sat down to wait.

Next to him, a kid was growling at his laptop, frankly typing and moving his fingers over the computer's touch mouse. Tucker accidentally glimpsed his screen when the kid started swearing in a different language.

It looked like a shooting game but his lag was bad. By the time the boy pressed the buttons to have his little drone move the other flying things he was chasing were flipping though the air and out of his shooting rage.

It sucked when that happened, and since he was using WE free wifi for guests, it was probably the game. The graphics were badass, though. Seemed almost real.

"Hey try updating the system" He tells the kid after seeing the boy once again lag so bad he missed his shot.

Green eyes swing to him drenched in rage. Which yeah, Tucker knows how frustrating that could be.

"Did I ask for your help!?" The boy snaps, his words lined with an upper-class accent. Made sense since he was wearing a Gotham Academy uniform like the rest of the large school group. "Why are you even looking this way, peasant?"

"No, sorry. I just noticed the lag." Tucker raised his hand, slightly amused at the peasant insult. "I thought I could fix it for you."

The boy's face spams, "You believe you have the ability?"

"Ugh sure? I can try?"

"Here. Be quick. The fate of this city's air defenses depend on it" the boy turns his lap top to him and Tucker blinks.

Okay. So fix the game. He can do that.

And he does, quickly opening the code, analyzing the control and commands , he gets it running properly in less then twenty minutes. The boy seems utterly shock but he quickly takes control of the game and shoots down all the escaping ninjas from the sky.

"Thank you." The boy says with no more tense in his shoulders. Then he closes his laptop and dissappears with the crowd of students.

Tucker thought the kid was a cute.

Danny hands him the keys not long after and he leaves.

Never was he aware of the Boy being Damian Wayne and that the game was not a game but a actual defensive drone system that was fighting off the League of Assassins.

He only finds out how important those two facts are when Danny gets a call from Tim Drake asking if he could pass along Tucker's information because the CEO wanted him on staff as soon as possible..

Both nineteen-year-olds lost their minds after getting the call, screaming at each other in ghost shrieks of glee. They called Sam to let her know- and have her lawyers look over the contact Tim Drake sent just to make sure it wasn't a big-time company trying to screw him over.

He went to an interview three days later. He faced Tim Drake, the current seventeen-year-old CEO, Leo Noir, the current head of HR, and Jessica War, the current head of computer services. They asked him many questions about himself- some of which he felt he had answered terribly- then had him take a computer test.

Tucker thought it was busy work, so he quickly breezed through it. He fixed the problem in many of the coding for various programs, adding his flare to the final product, and after thanking them for their time, went out into the lobby.

He hadn't even reached the door before Jesssica ran after him, offering him the job. Apparently, the first two problems they had him do was the busy work. Tucker had thought they were the ones to let him get comfortable with the coding program.

Like a tutorial in video games.

The other seven were actual issues; many of their latest cellphone products failed. Tucker had solved them in an hour, which had taken the actual team of coders about a month.

"Nitey one dollar and thirty-five cents an hour," Tim tells him tapping the hiring contact. "It would be eighty hours every paycheck. You can work here or at home. Full Benefits. What do you say?"

Tucker's jaw drops. "When do I start!?"

He calls his parents to tell them he will be staying in Gotham with Danny. He tries to explain what had happened but it was all so fast that he can only babble about certain parts.

They tell him not to worry about explaining because they understand how much this means to him.

His parents help pack everything for him and when he flies back for it they, offer him hugs and support. Tucker is so glad they aren't mad.

"I sort of knew it was coming," His dad laughs. "You and that Fenton boy have always been inseparable."

"I did the same thing, you know," His mom says, wiping tears from her eyes but smiling all the same. "I moved with your father states away with little to no plan when I turned twenty too. Drove your grandfather mad."

He loves them both so much. He promises to send money- disregarding their denials- and flies back to Gotham, where Danny has opened his apartment until he gets enough for his own place.

He plans on renting a house with three bedrooms, one for him, one for his office, and another for Danny, as soon as he can. He wants to pay his friend back for everything he did and Danny deserves a bigger living space.

And for once, he'll not have to worry about money!

For once, life is looking up!

(What Tucker is unaware of, is that his parents think he moved to the big city to be with his childhood best friend turned recent lover. They don't know that the money he is sending home is from his own payroll and not Danny's. They think he's a stay-at-home husband.

Tucker is also unaware that the Bats are closely watching him in case he goes rogue. They have been slowly "causally" running into him in the city and breaking into his place to check for supervillain activity.)

[norrizzandpia]

Gentle (LN4)

Summary: In which Y/n’s past is a little haunted, but Lando knows exactly how to make her understand she’s safe with him.

Warnings: verbal abuse, panic attack, sort of PTSD but not directly named

Note: i really like this one

Lando had always been known as a gentle soul. Whether that was with kids or animals or adults, he treated people with a certain level of mercy that was adored by many. That didn’t change with Y/n. In fact, it intensified.

She hadn’t had that much experience when it came to relationships. Only two boyfriends before meeting Lando and one of them only lasted two months while the other was abusive. Not physically, but verbally. Constantly tearing her down and stripping her of everything she deemed worthy about herself. She was so guarded, so quiet, that when Lando and her started dating he immediately assumed her last boyfriend hadn’t been the best. That idea was proven right when the two of them had their first fight and she had begged him to forgive her even though she had done nothing wrong.

Tears streaming down her face after his voice raised, she cried, “Lando, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. This is my fault. I’m sorry. I’m-” Her voice gave out as Lando stared at her. The cowering of her shoulders and the avoidance of eye contact told him everything he needed to know.

He approached her with added caution, making sure she was comfortable with his actions to take her in his arms, “It’s okay, my love. It’s okay. This isn’t your fault. I’m sorry for scaring you. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He whispered as he pushed her head into his chest, rubbing over her hair softly.

He had sat with her like that for hours, holding her and reminding her that he wouldn’t ever take advantage of her in the way she had been before. Reminding her that she was safe with him.

—

The next time her past came to taunt them was a few months later. Y/n had leapt out of bed early in the morning to make breakfast for him, wanting nothing more to surprise the man she loved. However, that plan took a turn when she looked away from the pan and toaster for too long. Burnt toast and charcoaled bacon had her staring down in defeat. She had been trying to clean up the mess when he had woken up and walked in.

“What happened here?” He asked her. His tone wasn’t accusatory, actually it had been soft and concerned, but Y/n was taken back to two years before when she had messed up the dinner and her ex-boyfriend had come in, yelling about her incompetence and inability to do anything by herself.

“Nothing,” She shook her head, determined to protect herself from, in her mind, the inevitable lashing she would get for her innocent mistake.

Lando had come over, his hands running up and down her shaking arms, and coaxed the soapy pan out of her grasp, “Love, what’s wrong?”

Still, she didn’t clock his concern for her. Her eyes darted around before she choked out, “I accidentally burnt the toast and eggs when I was trying to make you breakfast. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been looking at my phone. I could have prevented this and now your kitchen smells bad. I’m so sorry. I can-”

His soft kiss against her hairline stopped her rambling, he already knew, “It’s okay, Y/n. Thank you for thinking of me. That’s all that matters.”

Her head dropped down to study the dish water, sad and disappointed in her mistake. If he wasn’t going to beat her up for it, she had been programmed to do it herself.

Lando knew this, and was extremely familiar with it when it came to her. He was an expert in the telltale signs of her dismay and overthinking. So, when he saw the way he started to lose her, he turned her around. Pushing the hair out of her face and giving her the sweetest smile, he reminded her, “Baby, it was an innocent mistake. People burn things all the time. Most people wouldn’t even make breakfast to begin with. You always say the thought’s what counts. That applies here too.”

Her body tanged around him, her arms wrapping around his waist and head snuggling into his chest, Y/n nodded lightly.

“I know,” She mumbled, “I just could’ve done better for you.”

Chuckling and pulling her head back softly to kiss her gently, Lando whispered, “You are and will always be enough for me just by yourself.”

—

Y/n was doing better. A year after the breakfast incident, she was thriving, realizing just how much Lando loved her for her. That was until she stumbled across a video from the deep depths of her camera roll. The video had been from a time when Chris, her ex, had been so verbally abusive that she was trying to get a restraining order against him. In order to do that, however, she needed proof and the only way to do that was to record him secretly when he went off on her. The poor girl had been alone in Lando’s apartment as he went out to grab groceries for their movie night when the sound came blasting through her speakers.

One swipe had it playing, “YOU STUPID BITCH! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE PULLING SOMETHING LIKE THAT?”

Her small voice squeaked, “I just wanted to go out with my friends. I’m sorry.”

He didn’t stop, “AND TURN OFF YOUR LOCATION? FUCKING STUPID WHORE. WHAT WERE YOU DOING THEN? I BET HOOKING UP WITH SOME GUY IN THE BACK OF AN ALLEY LIKE THE DIRTY SLUT YOU ARE.”

Y/n could hear her own tears begin both in the video and in reality, “No, we were just at Paige’s house. We didn’t go out to a bar at all. I know how you feel about me doing that.”

His voice continued to dominate hers, “HOW DO I KNOW YOU AREN’T LYING? HUH?”

She sighed, clearly exhausted, “I don’t know, Chris. I’m sorry.”

He scoffed, “Yeah, sounds about right. The whore can’t prove she wasn’t out fucking every guy she saw. God, you’re lucky to be with me. No one will ever want you.”

With that, the door was slamming shut and the video was ending, leaving a crying Y/n in its wake. Her whole body shaking, she felt the panic attack coming on as she threw her phone to the side and got up from bed. She tried to get to the kitchen, maybe grab water and physically force the rising emotions down, but she got halfway there when she fully broke down in the middle of the hallway. Gasping for air and sobbing by herself like she always had, Y/n clutched the side of the wall.

The sound of the door closing and feet coming to a halt echoed distantly through her ears. She knew it was Lando, but a part of her was still back there. In that house, in that relationship with a man that, if he had ever found her in the state she was in, would have laughed in her face and locked her away in a bedroom to figure it out herself.

Even so, Lando’s concerned face soothed her. His hands scooping her up and pulling her into his embrace, pleading with her to breathe.

“Baby, you’re okay. It’s okay. You’re here with me. Only me. Come back to me.” He whispered in her ear as he placed her hand on his heart, showing her the rhythm in which she needed to reach.

They stayed that way for a few moments as Y/n came back down to Earth. She didn’t need to tell him she had been triggered for him to know. He always knew.

His hands tangled in her hair, he smiled at his, now, calm girlfriend, “Welcome back, baby.”

Her smile was soft and weak, but there and that’s all that mattered to him.

“Thank you, Lan. I’m-” She began to say, but his kissing her interrupted her apology.

Pulling back, he drew small shapes on her cheekbones, “Remember, we don’t say that here unless you actually have something to be sorry for. Which is usually me.”

The two laughed together before he brought her back to his bed and laid with her, protecting her from the scary memories in her mind. The night went on, his hands caring for her in the way they always had, and it just reinforced the fact that Y/n was with the perfect man.

A gentle man.

[mixtapedoh]

and it was all yellow | y.j.

welcome back to SVTU ! lost your way? refer to our campus map for directions.

pairing: yoon jeonghan x gn!reader with guest appearances from c. seungcheol, h. joshua, w. junhui, and more !

word count: ~5.9k genre: neighbors to friends to lovers warnings: language, intermittent Lore Dumping™ (i have to kick us off into svtu somehow), jeonghan is a little shit, light suggestive themes (heavily lampshaded and perhaps only occuring twice?)

☄. *. ⋆

olive's notes: these individual headcanon sets are going to be very ~stream of consciousness~, so bear with me, here. second, cheol and jeonghan are brothers (and there's a secret third brother i'll introduce eventually, don't you worry), also, thank you for stopping by <3. now here's the content you signed up for.

☄. *. ⋆

now playing... ılı.lıllılı.ıllı. ... ⌜ angel baby — troye sivan ⌟

AND IT WAS ALL YELLOW ☄. *. ⋆

— it all started when jeonghan realized that jun was loaded.

now, don't get him wrong. it wasn't as though he had befriended jun because jeonghan had been looking for someone rich and easily persuaded. it's not like jeonghan used his ineffable charm to win over the quasi-cryptid that was wen junhui because of jun's apparent legacy funds.

not that jeonghan couldn't have done — he clearly had the persuasion and cunning to do it — he just didn't. jeonghan wasn't in need of someone else's money. please. he was very capable of taking care of himself, thank you very much, he was just also, however, very good at knowing things.

especially those things that could be used to his advantage.

— and well... wen junhui was loaded. wealthy as shit. a classic trust fund baby. a walking dollar sign that just so happened to share classes with jeonghan every year since he started SVTU as a political science major (of arts, of course. he hadn't taken latin in high school to not absolutely crush the romance languages in uni).

— you see, SVTU had this fun little program for long-suffering students interested in the government and manipulating it to their will wherein if you took merger courses — lectures that ate up a hell of a lot of your time and money but gave substantial credit hours that counted for both applied and allied course credit — you could get a jump start on your degree, be offered more opportunities for internship, and explore a subject's "many facets" through "multiple lenses."

to jeonghan, it meant working faster and harder so that he might graduate early and get into the actual politics of pol sci quicker — at a more “genius” and “revolutionary” age.

(half of politics, after all, was being appealing enough to make headlines. there wasn’t time to waste, in the long run.)

to wen junhui it had to mean something different — after all, jun was a pre-law student with a completely different career path from the other party involved (though jeonghan had considered law at one point in time — something he’s not above admitting though certainly not pining after). merger courses for him likely meant an expedited process to law school. but that was truly beside the point. an aside.

— what mattered in the end, was that jeonghan and jun had more than enough shared merger courses to go around, and in the process of things, had gone from strangers to acquaintances, then study partners (blame it on the fact that jun — the altruistic leaning bastard he was — actually tutored in his free time. willingly. as in, not a joke.) to committed group project members, and eventually to that nebulous thing called friendship.

ask them both when that final stage commenced and you’d get varying responses — jeonghan always far more generous than jun in such regards, but almost annoyingly so, like he wanted to be the one leaning more on the ridiculous.

— yes, it was quite a ways into their friendship when jeonghan learned that wen junhui, his sweet jun, was loaded. like, living alone off of campus in his own two bedroom apartment on the wealthy side of the city that prospered from the University Living Aesthetic™, loaded. as in, so loaded he could have easily found more than enough willing bodies to become roommates with him and help pay for the exorbitant expenses but simply decided against it because he hadn’t, and i quote “thought about it before.”

“never thought about it? jun. how much does this place cost?”

and jun had to think for a minute. genuinely think about how much he paid in monthly rent. “i suppose for a month’s rent i pay around… [REDACTED].”

and jeonghan was no stranger to dramatics, to be sure, but anyone else would have gaped the same as him. “[REDACTED]??”

"[REDACTED]."

"...shit."

— yes, jeonghan finding out that jun was loaded, living in a (rather well kept) apartment with an empty room, no roommates, and an assortment of (dying) houseplants that needed care, was truly the beginning of it all.

— after all, while the chaos settled in a year after the fact when he and joshua would finally move in with jun because of circumstances that aren't truly relevant to the here and now, all true origins start a little before dramatic changes. there's always a gentle precursor, something soft that sets the stage. rumblings of change are necessary forefathers to the strength of revolution; jeonghan learning that jun was a walking line of credit with property to his name and a work ethic that would make any professor blush was necessary groundwork for the events that would follow.

and goddamn, if things didn't follow.

— but i suppose, if we're back tracking all the way to jeonghan and shua moving in with jun on one very ill timed sunday (jun had an exam in his special topics in deviance, crime, & the law course the next day), we are also brushing up against jeonghan meeting you.

another precursor to the chaos that would follow. another tremor that would shake the ground and cause things to tumble.

— you also lived in the terraces on 17th and attended svtu. you lived on the same floor as jun — two apartments down from his, no less — and his first week there, you showed jeonghan the campus shuttle routes that passed right outside the complex (he'd come to learn that the domino route was the one you took most often, as it led right to the heart of the university, but the pinwheel route was also a convenient option for evening courses).

— you and jeonghan weren't friends right away. no, you were always a friendly face around the complex and a decent conversationalist when stuck in the elevator together, but it wasn't as though you and jeonghan became fast friends. you were just neighbors for a while; just another person grabbing mail on monday afternoons, stopping at the in-residence coffee shop on bleak wednesday mornings, ordering pizza on saturday evenings and giving joshua a slice after he weaponizes his big, brown eyes.

— and then came The Series of Fire Alarm Mishaps.

— you see, at some point in the middle of the semester, someone new moved into the apartment building, in the same hall as you and jeonghan. at first, you barely even noticed the change, and then they started cooking.

— which wouldn't have been a problem. if they had been good at it.

the first few times the (incredibly loud and not unreasonably sensitive) fire alarms from down the hall had gone off, it had been unfortunate - a mild nuisance that disrupted what jeonghan had been doing, and nothing more. but then, the first few times became multiple, and from multiple, came a pattern. every other day, at least twice, the fire alarm next door would go off. and it would always be at different times - breakfast, the afternoon, early evening, even sometimes at 1:28 in the morning. the fire alarm would sound, and while it would mostly be no longer than a minute or two, it was still enough to be irritating.

you and jeonghan talked about it every time you saw each other in passing, or just so happened to be taking the same shuttle to campus (which happened quite often, anymore, since jeonghan enrolled in an extra course to help him graduate all the sooner). your neighbor and that damn fire alarm. your neighbor and their inability to cook, yet unnecessary dedication to the craft. you both joked about the inevitability of them actually burning the apartment down.

— and then, one day, the fire alarm went off at 2:19, waking jeonghan up out of a dead sleep (he hadn't meant to fall asleep at his desk, and his neck would pay for it all the next day). he heard it, and immediately decided to ignore it, knowing it would stop soon.

but then it didn't.

at about 3.5 minutes of non-stop alarms, jeonghan was annoyed enough that he left his room and staggered into the kitchen for some water, where shua and jun were already waiting around, likely with the same idea (though it was clear that shua hadn't ever fallen asleep, and perhaps jun was in the same boat, though he'd changed into sweats and a light t-shirt).

at about 6 minutes, jeonghan opened the door to see if anyone else was, well... concerned.

and at 13 minutes, he was standing outside in the brisk autumn air, agreeing with jun as he whispered that if there wasn't an actual fire but just their talentless neighbor attempting to cook in the middle of the night, he was going to kill the bastard himself.

— and there, in the middle of all this stupidity — sleepily rocking back and forth from one foot to another — and on the other side of him, was you.

— and, well, when you offered to buy him and the rest of his roommates coffee at the convenience store that was just down the street, not far, he couldn't do much beyond say yes. what was he going to do? decline your offer?

and so all four of you walked to the convenience store and aimlessly wound your way through the almost neon colored aisles. jeonghan used the opportunity to stick to you like glue and get you to open up — about yourself and your roommates, both of whom had gone home for two weeks for (separate) family vacations (not that you were jealous. clearly the superior option was to stay at the apartment, embroiled in course work and standing outside at 2:00 am because of some loser neighbor who can't cook a singular meal without burning the building to the ground, and yet refuses to have anything delivered).

— in the end, the fire hadn't been bigger than something contained in the pan ("thank god," you had said, shaking your hands in lackluster triumph, "i have a physics exam next week. i need those notes more than you know"), but at only 4 months of having a new neighbor, someone new moved in within 2 weeks at most. and, after being neighbors for almost 7 months, you and jeonghan were decidedly friends.

after all, you bought him a triangular gimbap, ice cream, and convenience store coffee. jun had slipped away with just a banana milk (which he promptly paid back the next day), and shua nearly bought out the whole store once the two of you got to talking about the best midnight (and hours after) snacks lining the walls. at the least, he was indebted to you, which could only be solved by more trips to the convenience store with more mindless conversation, and more time for the both of you to endear yourself to the other.

and the way jeonghan saw it, friendship at that point was inevitable. especially when, at the start of the next semester, you and jeonghan both had an early morning class and used the domino route to get to class via campus shuttle.

(and sure, jun had an early class, too, and drove himself to campus everyday, meaning jeonghan could have easily just gotten a ride, but he didn't. for no particular reason, really, he just never did; but one frost bitten morning after a snowstorm, when jeonghan was waiting at the shuttle stop and you stood beside him, bundled up in a thick winter coat and rubbing the tips of your fingers to keep them warm, you turned to him, the cord of the wired headphones the both of you always shared swaying from the movement (a streak of yellow against all this white, the sun in the middle of stark winter), and smiled, "i'm glad you're here with me." and maybe — just maybe — that was reason enough.)

— and thus, for reasons above explained, in the end, it all started with jeonghan learning jun was loaded. if it weren't for that simple knowledge, he wouldn't be anywhere near where he currently stood.

— which was the open doorway of jun's apartment, garbage in hand, falling in love with you.

"what?"

and you at least had the presence of mind to be flustered by it.

jeonghan could laugh, really. "is that my jacket?"

it totally was, and perhaps the way you fiddled with the sleeve of it and scoffed awkwardly, refusing to meet his eyes, was the true giveaway that you knew it most certainly was. "i don't know, is it?"

you were met with smug silence, so of course, you'd elaborate.

"i thought it belonged to my ex. i just chose what looked the warmest. it's storming out there — you might want something more than a sweatshirt if you're taking that all the way to cans." you gestured to the garbage bag — a detail jeonghan had almost forgotten at the sight of you in his clothing.

"you think your ex would have bought that?"

of course he wasn't going to take your bait in changing the subject. that would make things easy. you rolled your eyes, spinning your key ring and making it jingle. "hoseok has great style. it's just different from yours."

"and that jacket is more my style than his."

"it is," you conceded. under jeonghan's gaze you stuck one half of the jacket out, towards him. "do you want it now? you'll need it out there."

"i don't think i will. not when i'll have your sunny presence to warm me."

and for a split second your eyes narrowed. you had just come in from the storm — that much was plain to see from the wet of the jacket to the reusable grocery bag in your hand, full of pantry odds and ends. there was no need to go back out, and you and jeonghan both knew it. and not to mention that the invitation (thinly veiled) was unattractive — stay inside where it was warm or brave the stormy weather once more, all for a garbage run?

"race you to the elevator."

— and see, the truth of the fact was, it wasn't as though you made it difficult to fall in love with you (though even if you had, jeonghan would have liked the challenge, perhaps. there's fun in plenty of things). you were generous, a good conversationalist, you bitched about people with jeonghan but still tried to see the best in them, you were knowledgeable about the most random yet oddly applicable things, and for all of his teasing, you put up with him. perhaps enjoyed him.

— it certainly confused seungcheol, to say the least (but don't such things always confuse brothers).

"as someone who's had a lifetime to cherish your personality, there has to be something wrong with this y/n if they're willingly spending time with you. i'm trying to save my soul, putting up with you on the daily. they have no excuse."

"if i'm going to respond to that, you'll have to give me five minutes to run first."

and it ended with jeonghan quickly pushing away from the table, trying to duck out of seungcheol's grasp; but of course, the older brother and president of the boxing club would get him anyway, and through laughter, attempt to knock some humility into jeonghan (it wouldn't stick).

— but no need to focus on all of that, now. after all, this deep into the semester, jeonghan was busy enough without Crippling Thoughts of Romance.

— the worst damage you wrought thus far was making him choke that day you wandered into karaoke club and he was in the middle of a duet joshuji had managed to cajole him into doing on the spot (you swore up and down that you didn't know he was even in the club to begin with, but something about your flustered behavior and shua's glee at the whole affair made him consider otherwise); while it had been a (minor, he claimed) blow to his pride, it was easily pushed aside. jihoon, the bastard, might bring it up on occasion — the one (1) time angel voice yoon jeonghan chokes, and it's all on camera — but other than that, jeonghan? cool as a cucumber.

the last thing he'd do is be awkward around a crush. jeonghan was cool; jeonghan was suave; jeonghan was speaking in the third person because joshuji had been on a self-love bender a few months back and had said daily affirmations into the mirror every morning, and after finding out and teasing him relentlessly for it, jeonghan unfortunately picked up the habit.

AND IT WAS ALL YELLOW (CONT.) ☄. *. ⋆

— and now that we've gotten this far, i suppose it's time we bring up Jeonghan Habits™ because there were many, the closer you and jeonghan got to each other, strings of fate drawing you ever nearer, joining you at the hip.

— for one, it seemed that ever since that first unfortunately timed run to the convenience store at hours after-midnight, jeonghan felt comfortable just showing up at all odd hours of the evening, all messy hair and too-big hooded sweatshirts (most stolen from seungcheol, he'd reveal to you one day when you were confused as to just when jeonghan had picked up a love of coton de tulear puppy conventions — enough to get a commemoriative sweatshirt, no less), with the oh-so-enticing offer of going to grab a snack.

he even called it a date, once, when you were wrapped up in three blankets and your fuzzy house slippers, weakly try to convince him to just rummage through you're cupboards instead

"you're so cold you're going to cancel our date? and here i thought we had something real."

(you'd been so flustered by the whole exchange you simply ended up going to the with him, hoping that the act of Just Doing It would buy you time against his rapid fire machine gun comebacks — probably exactly what the fucker had planned in his 4d chessboard of a brain — and jeonghan took the opportunity to file away in his mind the cute expression that crossed your face in the split second that the words hit you fully in the chest and you floundered, wide-eyed into recovery)

— another, of course, was his habit of casually leaving things at your place whenever the two of you hung out; the first few times he left something — his jacket, a pair of sunglasses, necklaces that you don't ever quite recall him taking off to begin with — you promptly returned it with the naive belief that it was a one-off mistake not like to happen again. but it just kept happening, and so eventually, you just stopped returning.

if it were important, jeonghan would have texted you about it — he texted you about all kinds of random things, anyway, his lost socks would be no more strange than texts of ootds or how particularly sparkly his eyes looked that day.

and he never did...

until you started to wear the things he left, of course.

'should i get two of these?' the text came in while you were walking to your next class, taking your sweet time since the weather had cleared up nicely and the campus shuttles were running smoothly — not a single one hand been late all week, a sure change from usual. a moment later your phone chimed again, and jeonghan had sent a picture of a silver ring with a greek key styling. it was cool enough, and fit in nicely with jeonghan's usual style of accessory (not that you were particularly knowledgeable of such things... haha.)

'sure, but why 2?'

'so you can have one of your own instead of stealing it.'

'???!?'

'look at your outfit right now. you're wearing MY necklace. it's been missing for weeks.'

'YOU LEFT IT AT *MY* APARTMENT??????'

'you still have necklaces of your own; didn't have to be mine.'

'😑'

'so what's your ring size?'

'stfu'

— in your defense, you didn't think it was an issue, borrowing the things he'd randomly leave at your apartment. it had started off innocuously enough — seonghwa and momo (your roommates, bless them) needed you to go grab a few last minute ingredients for dinner (they were the ones cooking, so charitably you offered to do the grunt work) and when you couldn't find your own sunglasses, there were jeonghan's, just sitting on your dresser and waiting to be used.

and after that, well... jeonghan had nice style, okay? you were not immune to convenient and accessible clothing. if jeonghan wasn't so forgetful of his own articles of clothing, it wouldn't be the case that you steal his favorite sunglasses and borrow his usual rings and get a little too caught up in the way his cologne lingers on his jackets and night shirts, a smell all-too comforting and somehow tempting...

— you attempted to give the necklace back later that week when you and jeonghan met up to take the domino route to university, but he just shrugged it off and told you that you might as well keep it. he already bought himself another.

and besides. it looked good on you.

— and as for the last of Jeonghan's Habits™ (certified and trademarked, of course, everything jeonghan did was protected by common law)... well... the discovery of this one came later, at a time you weren't expecting it, and so perhaps that explains why it makes you as flustered as it does.

— see, it's of no surprise that yoon jeonghan is clingy in a very positive sense.

being friends with jeonghan is always being kept in the loop, having an ongoing dialogue about most everything, doing lot of Things together and always knowing that if there's something you're even thinking of doing, jeonghan has already cleared his schedule in anticipation of going to do said thing alongside you.

— what surprised you, but really shouldn't have (so perhaps the right word is simply astonished, flustered, made giddy by the realization of), was that he was also very cuddly. and very hard to be talked out of, no less.

— and like, okay, sure, it was kind of hypocritical of you to be taken aback when you'd been indulging jeonghan of his affinity for physical touch for quite some time, now.

the surprise hugs whenever he caught you waiting for the campus shuttle or simply Minding Your Own Business, his inclination towards taking your hand to make you walk a little faster when the two of you were going convenience store diving (yes, again), the quite literal poking and prodding whenever he was attempting to get you to change your mind and agree with his worst impulses... it was all pretty damning, in retrospect. but it never really fazed you: jeonghan's cuddly sort of behavior.

though you had gotten a smug kind of glee whenever you initiated contact and jeonghan's cheeks would warm to a beautiful shade of pink before he'd counter his own seeming embarrassment with a comment like "aaahhhh y/n, you're so familiar, what would others think if they saw you?"

randomly touch jeonghan's forearm, whether to pull him closer for some reason or another or just to softly massage the skin while you absentmindedly scrolled on your phone (instagram scrolling was sacred time you and jeonghan shared — then you didn't have to send him the reel with your comments, you could just tap him on the shoulder and show him). they way jeonghan would get all shy at the touch — like maybe he felt some of those butterflies that perpetually fluttered about in your stomach whenever he was around — was all the satisfaction you could ever need.

— so yes, you were quite used to clingy jeonghan. but cuddly? you had never quite strayed into full cuddle territory... until you did.

— that fateful night, you had lovingly been given notice via a very abrupt group text that you would not be able to return to your apartment for the evening (someone was going to have company over, doing... things that familiar company do) and when you had told jeonghan of your plans to join seonghwa in his trip to the computer rooms at crescent hub (they were open 24 hours and while it was based on reservation, you were almost always able to get a seat), he offered you come to his apartment instead.

either that, or i guess you could spend your time watching the gaming club host whatever tournament they had going on — apparently jun was planning to be gone for Quite Some Time (as a senior member of the club) and shua was there... for moral support? that part was unclear, to be quite honest, but it wasn't as though shua ever needed a reason to be Busy and Outgoing, so it didn't quite matter much, in the end.

"why aren't you at crescent hub with your roommates, then?"

"and encourage them? ah... don't make me look soft."

and you're sure that the way you roll your eyes can be heard through the phone.

"i had an assignment to finish." / "you had work to finish."

"but! it's all been submitted now."

"then i'll meet you."

— after all, it's not like you were a stranger to jun's apartment — you'd hung out there plenty of times as your bond with jeonghan deepened and your friendship to shua and jun grew — and they did have a rather comfy couch... you were almost certain jeonghan's offer implied and unspoken 'you can at least get some comfortable sleep on our vertiable cloud of a couch when i'm done prying at the finer details as to just who momo decided to bring home.'

you both, after all, had a deep-seeded delight for gossip.

— and when you got there, it was exactly what you expected: jeonghan had seemingly raided the pantry finding ingredients so the two of you could make dakdoritang — excepting the carrot, of course.

despite his seeming love for convenience store runs and general lazy attitude toward preparing his own meals, cooking together seemed to be something jeonghan enjoyed lately — or at least, that's what you surmised. to you, it seemed that one day jeonghan woke up and chose cooking as a new hobby.

if you were to ask jeonghan, he would brush it off, of course, probably saying something about his mom visiting and praising jun's affinity for cooking and there was no way jeonghan could let the bastard win — but really all it had taken was one (1) absentminded hand on his chest from you and a "hannie, can you pass me the garlic cloves?" for him to make cooking with you a new personality trait of his. go figure.

— and so the two of you made your stew while debating which movie you should watch when you were done. you ended up compromising on some drama that you'd seen people claim was so bad it was good, and it really was. the cringe,,,, the mutual yelling at the tv,,,,,,, threatening the lives of fictional characters,,,,,,, talking over whole dialogue scenes because you had a brilliant rewrite in mind and jeonghan simply couldn't resist the way you looked when there was an earnestness in your eyes and an opinion on your lips,,,,

it was quite late, indeed, before you even knew it. and when you switched the tv to a music video you really wanted to show jeonghan, the autoplay sort of took over, and your mind sort of shut down... drifted off to sleep.

— you woke up at some point in the early morning; the sound of the lock clicking and the door opening wasn't the sound you were used to, in your apartment two doors down, and it was just enough to snap you awake momentarily, still half in dream yet with one foot in reality.

it was just shua and jun, and they whispered an apology before padding off to their respective rooms (jun his own, shua his shared room with hannie), clearly worn out from their gaming activities.

— but that little push to semi-wakefulness was just enough for you to take stock of where you were, and you noticed belatedly that jeonghan had never left to go back to his room. you were both sleeping on the couch, legs intertwined; jeonghan was resting his head on your shoulder and your hands were reaching out, as if almost to give him a subconscious hug.

— the embarrassment ran through your nervous system almost instantly, and when you made to slowly and gently move your limbs so you were less... interwoven, jeonghan stirred and, still sleeping, pulled you back towards him. perhaps even closer than before.

you couldn't help yourself. a giggle escaped you; perhaps half nerves, mostly endearment. jeonghan stirred again and the sound and you covered your mouth, not wanting to wake him.

he stilled soon enough, and before drifting off again, you kissed him on the forehead.

— when you fully woke up the next morning, jeonghan had already began his day, but he didn't even try to hide the fact that the both of you had unwittingly unlocked a new feature in this friendship of yours. he sort of just... took the night prior as a confirmation that cuddling was on the list of approved actions and refused to let go of you, after.

not that it bothered you, of course.

it just seemed that the butterflies in your stomach were given wild energy at this new development; all your strategies for calming them suddenly ineffective.

AND IT WAS ALL YELLOW (CONT.) ☄. *. ⋆

— so.

if you had asked jeonghan at any point in his life if he were good at manipulating, his answer would be an unequivocable yes.

deceit? of course.

scheming? obviously.

lying? naturally.

blackmailing? most assuredly.

gaslighting, gatekeeping, girlbossing? undoubtedly.

changing criteria? yes.

moving goalposts? clearly.

hiding the apparent? well...

— see, the thing is... you get so good at the others that concealing the obvious isn't exactly necessary. everyone might know to be wary of the scheming, cheating, self-serving yoon jeonghan, but it didn't change the fact that he was so astute at the rest of it, image didn't exactly matter.

and besides, why save face when it was so fun to see people accuse him of what they were all very aware?

— so yes, jeonghan was quite skilled at all manner of deception. the one facet he was not so adept in was hiding his feelings toward the matter.

— thus, it should be no surprise that everyone and their mother knew jeonghan had a crush.

and it was only getting worse.

— don't ask jun when he put the dots together — he was more emotionally intellectual than he let on most of the time — and don't ask joshuji when either — that fucker had this quirk where he joked about something before it had real honest basis, but in some way only attributed to the gift of clairvoyance, he always seemed to be right. if you were to ask joshua, he'd likely recall the first time he had looked at jeonghan and wiggled his eyebrows and call that he knew then (he didn't; at least, not really).

— as for s.coups... well, don't ever ask cheol anything about jeonghan. he'd rather die than give it to you straight.

please. when he could embarrass jeonghan? seungcheol lives for that shit.

after all, what else are older brothers for?

— so yes, it was obvious to those close to him that jeonghan was in the long-suffering limbo of Having A Thing For Your Best Friend But Not Acting On It, and it had been apparent for months.

— after all, it felt like centuries ago that joshua had offered to play matchmaker for jeonghan and you — the veritable apple of his eye — and set the two of you up on a date.

it had been some lazy morning and jun nearly spit out his breakfast.

"you'd both love it! i'd get jihoon to play something romantic on the violin; well, maybe recorder—"

cue jun choking once more.

"and you could be there waiting in full suit and tie."

"with couples rings waiting in the bread basket." and joshua's eyes went comically and maniacally wide at jun's inclusion.

"ah, cheol would crash any date like that."

"but then y/n could get his blessing!"

— at some point, jun was at his wits end.

in his defense, it was him who had to see the two of you be all sweet and love-struck all the time, giggling and teasing each other on his couch in his apartment while all he's trying to do is eat a sorry excuse of a subway sandwich (eat fresh.) before jetting off to his internship again.

if you had to see that shit while eating soggy bread you'd be annoyed, too.

one more "aigoooo" while jeonghan squishes your cheeks, and you bat him away with a roll of your eyes and jun would take a knife out of the block behind him.

— especially when jeonghan started calling you "angel" at every chance he got. had jun's eye twitching, it did. never had he regretted getting roommates until jeonghan fell in love.

one day jun learned that the phrase "get a room" made at least one of you self conscious enough to at least tone it down, and he never stopped weaponizing it, since.

— of course, overtime jun's protests became background noise, but once, when your roommates and jeonghan's all went to the museum of fine arts together to celebrate the end of finals week (it was free admission so long as you had your svtu activities card), jun had deadpanned his new favorite phrase in the middle of the outdoor conversation area. jeonghan had turned to you grinning, like it was the excuse he'd been waiting for all day, and after a lighthearted "shall we?" you grabbed his hand and the two of you pranced off to explore the sculpture terrace.

jeonghan had raised an eyebrow at your choice of exhibit, but you pulled him over to a sculpture of a human figure with black wings and flashed a smile: “it’s not a private room, but i think it works.”

“if you’d prefer it, i’m sure there’s a custodial closet we could go to instead. i bet there's one right outside, even.”

you snorted. “and if i did kiss you? what would you do then?"

— you stunned him into silence. him. yoon jeonghan. 

— right as he was about to recover and shoot back some smartass comment, you laughed — the sound clear and playful, bright and radiating with warmth — and then you wandered to where they showcased student work.

— umm... uhhh... WHATTHEFUCKWEREYOUDOING WHATTHEFUCKWASGOINGONNNNNN

“angel.”

you hummed absentmindedly, only half hearing jeonghan through the internal screaming reverberating in your skull.

“y/nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn…”

he was closer now, if you focused, you were sure you could feel him, inching closer, right behind you, just to your right…

— he kissed your cheek: half on the corner of your lips, half on the soft of your skin.

— you couldn’t help yourself. you turned.

“if you were bold enough to kiss me here, i’d kiss you back. then i’d be scandalized, ‘how forward!’”

your mouth opened: in shock, in delight, in laughter, in a heavenly mix of the three. jeonghan just stood there, all self-satisfied grin.

“you could waste your time finding a comeback, or you could be forward.”

“i think i have time for both.”

☄. *. ⋆

end of file .

SVT (sophrosyne; virtù; truth) University hopes you've enjoyed your stay !

[dduane]

Hello! Do you think your conception of magic in YW is influenced at all by computer code? Between High Wizardry and some of the website admin stuff you discuss here, I'm guessing you've coded at least a little.

I'm an actor-turned-librarian who's cobbled together a little bit of coding competency through goofing off. The other day I tried to explain how I conceptualize a coding project and, well, first you need to figure out something's name -- and make sure you're properly specific for the context, you may need a lot of detail in how you name it -- and then you can start figuring out how to persuade it to do what you want ....

So I guess it's sort of a chicken-and-egg question: have I conceptualized coding in the image of my favorite fictional magic systems, or have I been generally drawn to magic systems with a sort of code-y, process-y inspiration?

I wouldn't like to second-guess your in-brain structure. But I can talk about my historical processes a bit, as they may apply to this.

Let me step back slightly. Before* I was a writer, I was a nurse. Before I was a nurse, I was studying to be an astrophysicist. Both of these arts/sciences require a certain sense of the hard structure of the universe—of the ways it requires you to put bits of it together if you're going to get anything useful done. This general outlook has determined, to a certain extent, how I interact with the nuts and bolts of the online world.

More historically speaking: I'm one of an unusual stratum of computer users who were technologically orphaned by the (bankruptcy) failure of the Osborne computer company in the mid-1980s. Those of us who had these machines, and who were at all techie-oriented, quickly became WAY more so in an attempt to keep our Osbornes running after the company went under. We learned how to keep our babies going without any available support, and when we moved on to other machines, we quickly became expert in fixing them... having learned the bitter lesson that when your computer fails, most of the time you're the only one you're going to be able to rely on to keep it going.

We learned to do things for ourselves, from the bottom up: hardware to programming. That mindset has remained with me from then until now.

After my Osborne, I moved from an early Apple (lent by our old friend Michael Reaves) to various early DOS/TRS machines when I moved over to this side of the Atlantic. I wrote Star Trek: The Kobayashi Alternative on a TRS-80 Model 100, gods bless its gentle hardworking heart. (I can still see in my mind the pale, pine-panelled interior of the ancient creaky London hotel, just south of Notting Hill Gate Tube, where I did most of the Trek work while I was in town on other business. I'd hooked the computer's modem to the hotel's phone system with alligator clips.) While Peter and I were later sorting out where we'd live on this side of things, for a long time—before portable computers, except for the TRS—the big machines lived in the boot of the Volvo while we migrated from place to place. And always the alligator clips were there.

Finally we settled in Ireland, and not too long after us, so did the Internet. (But not before I had to go up to Dublin one time, with the alligator clips again FFS!, and show the adorably clueless national telephone company guys how to hook up/in. ...I never pass that building without thinking of it: once Telecom Eireann, then Eircom, then Eir. Now it's a Starbucks. No matter. I remember where to hook the alligator clips in.)

And then, with the internet, lo, there came the (net-oriented) coding. Our first household web site went online in 1995. I handcoded our site's HTML. (Because what's a girl to do: wait for the techbois to make such work accessible or affordable? Bwahahahaha.) I continued to do that until the early 2000s, at which point I moved our sites to Drupal and learned its obscure ways. These days—having decided that Updating Damn Drupal Core Every Week is not what my mom raised me for—I've migrated all our household sites to WordPress, and I like it. I still pay a lot of attention to them, but at least I don't have to custom-code every whole damn page. I'm happy enough to let Elementor do that, while inserting occasional custom CSS, because (a) I have other writing to do, and (b) Life Is Too Short.

(I also used to hand-build our household computers, because (a) money was short and (b) why not know exactly what all your hardware is? But more recently I've started letting Scan in the UK do that. It's another Life Is Too Short thing... and Scan does good work. Lovely tight builds, and good customer service when needed.)

So: yeah, I code. :) Is the Young Wizards universe’s spell structure influenced by that? Uh, yeah. Inevitable, I’d think. Habit is such a taskmaster.

Meanwhile, summing up: I'm fluent in HTML. I'm nearly as fluent in CSS. I have enough PHP to be dangerous (to myself as well as others). I have memories of C that I can dredge up when necessary. I generated most of the Rihannsu language in MS-BASIC, gods bless it. ...And beyond that (as we say around here), deponent saith not. :)

*Or “while”, as I started writing when I was six or seven.

[mopopshop]

On and Off the Court

based on this request <-

words: 3.7k

summary: You've just been accepted for a sports medicine internship at the University of Connecticut, joining your best friend Sue Bird. As you meet Diana, you're quickly warned about her romantic habits. Will this warning be enough to keep you away?

made an OC for this one, hope you guys enjoy and lmk how we’re feeling about the DT stuff and if I should keep making it 🙏🏾

as always my requests are open so send me anything you guys want to see, please enjoy!!💕

UConn Campus: 2002

Securing the internship at UConn had been a long shot, but you had never been one to back down from a challenge. The application process had been rigorous—endless forms, letters of recommendation, and a nerve-wracking interview. But when the call came through, informing you that you’d been selected as an athletic trainer intern for one of the most prestigious women’s basketball programs in the country, you knew it was all worth it. 

Sue was right there with you too, she’d already been attending UConn two years prior to your application but she was the one who encouraged you apply in the first place. She knew your love for sports medicine and what’s greater than having your best friend study that at your school? 

You first met Sue Bird during a summer basketball camp, you’d dabbled in the physical sport before deciding on sports med. She was the cooler older girl who’d taken you under her wing and from then on you were inseparable and the rest is history.  

Sue had been the one to drive you on campus for your first day, she helped you move into your dorm and now she was showing you around the UConn practice facility. 

As you walk beside her, she points out players, giving you a quick rundown of who’s who. And then she mentions, almost casually, "And that’s Diana. Lemme introduce you real quick."

Your eyes follow her gesture to see Diana, tan freckled skin and a slick back curled bun, who's shooting three-pointers with an ease that defies logic. There's an intensity to her that draws you in immediately.

"Aye, D! Meet the new intern," Sue calls out. Diana pauses, her gaze shifting towards you. She walks over, her confidence apparent in every step.

"Hey, I’m Diana," she says, extending her hand. You shake it, feeling a jolt of something you can't quite identify.

"Yeah! I’ve heard a lot about you, I’m Nora" you manage to say, your voice steady despite your racing heart.

She gives you a once over, nodding and biting her lip lightly “Nora, that’s a pretty name”

You flush and go to respond but Sue quickly cuts you off, clearing her throat.

“Alright! Um we’re gonna… I’m gonna show her around the rest of the place.” she makes an awkward thumb gesture, pointing down a hallway and quickly ushers you away, not even giving Diana a chance to respond. 

“Do you think D’s hot?” She blurts out once you get to one of the med rooms.

“Huh?!”

She groans, rubbing a hand over her face “ D’s… she’s like- well she’s..”

“Spit it out Sue” you shove her lightly 

“She like-  she sleeps around! I don’t know, I just got vibes that she thinks you’re cute and as your self appointed big sister and very best friend I don’t need her breaking your heart”

“You got all that from a three-second conversation??”

“Well no- but also yes, look.. all I’m saying is I know my teammates and I absolutely know you, as much as I love D don’t fall for her lesbian flirty tactic thingys”

“Lesbian.. flirty… tactic… thingys…”

“Yes!”

“Sue you sound crazy but sure”

—————————

Your next few weeks at UConn are chill as you settle into your role, finding a rhythm in the fast-paced environment. You spend your days taping ankles, stretching out sore muscles, and learning from your mentors.

Even after what Sue said about Diana you can’t help but be attracted to her and honestly you feel that Diana reciprocates your feelings. These past few weeks you and Diana have only gotten closer, first it started with talking during practice, then getting food together after practice, and eventually hanging out at each other’s dorms.

One evening, Sue invites you to your first college party, eager to show you the social side of university life. You’re excited but also nervous, partly because you don’t know what to expect and partly because you can’t stop thinking about Diana. Despite Sue’s warnings, you can’t shake the feeling that there’s something real between you and Diana, something more than just casual flirting.

The party is at a popular off-campus house, and as soon as you walk in, you’re hit by the loud music and the sight of students milling about, drinks in hand. Sue is quickly pulled into a conversation with some friends, leaving you to navigate the crowded room on your own.

You grab a drink and wander around, trying to blend in and relax. Just when you’re starting to enjoy yourself, you spot Diana across the room. Your heart skips a beat as you watch her laughing and talking animatedly with another girl, her arm casually draped over the girl’s shoulders.

You tell yourself not to overreact. After all, it’s a party, and Diana is allowed to talk to whoever she wants. You start heading in her direction, hoping to get her attention but as you walk, Diana leans in and kisses the girl, a deep, lingering kiss that leaves no room for misinterpretation.

Your stomach drops, and you feel a cold wave of disappointment wash over you. Sue’s words echo in your mind, reminding you of Diana’s reputation. You turn away, trying to focus on anything but the scene unfolding before you, but it’s no use. The image is burned into your mind.

Feeling a mix of hurt and foolishness, you decide to leave. You make your way to the door, hoping to escape unnoticed. Just as you step outside into the cool night air, you hear Sue calling your name.

“Nora! Hey, what’s wrong?” She asks, her voice laces with concern.

“Nothing, nothing! Um.. just feeling kinda nauseous, I’m gonna head back but you have fun ‘mkay?” you reach up, giving her a hug “Thanks for bringing me, I’ll see you at the gym tomorrow” you spit out before rushing to your car.

—————————

After the party, you do everything in your power to avoid Diana, shrugging away from her flirtatious touches, opting to eat lunch with Sue instead, and finding any excuse to keep her from coming back to your dorm. 

One night after practice, you find yourself in the training room alone, organizing supplies. The door swings open, Diana walks in, and your heart sinks, you still have feelings for her despite everything and being alone with her doesn’t make you feel any better. 

“ ‘Sup, Nora,” she greets, her voice dripping with playful charm as if she’s completely oblivious to the change in your dynamic over the past few days. 

You force a smile, trying to keep up appearances despite the turmoil inside. "Hey, D"

She saunters over, her movements fluid and confident. "Just thought I'd swing by and see how you're doing. You've been kind of distant lately."

You swallow hard, struggling to find the right words. "Yeah, just busy with work and stuff."

Diana raises an eyebrow, her expression unreadable. "Is that all it is? Because it feels like there's something else going on."

You avert your gaze, unable to meet her eyes. "I'm fine, Diana. Really."

But she doesn't seem convinced, and you can feel her studying you intently. "Nora, whatever it is, you can talk to me. I'm here for you."

Her words stir something inside you, a flicker of longing mixed with frustration. How can she act so caring and yet be the cause of so much pain?

"I don't think that's such a good idea," you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.

Diana takes a step closer, her presence overwhelming. "Why not?"

You finally look up, and your breath catches at the intensity in her eyes. She’s so close now, you can see every detail of her face, every freckle, and the way her lips curl into a slight, confident smile. The air between you is charged with tension, and you can’t help but feel drawn to her.

“I…”

You’re standing so close now, mere centimeters apart. You can feel her breath on your skin, and it’s intoxicating. Your body leans in almost of its own accord, the pull towards her undeniable. You can see the same desire reflected in her eyes, and for a moment, you think you might actually kiss her.

But then images of Diana and that girl at the party flicker into your mind. You take a shaky step back, breaking the magnetic pull between you. “I.. I don’t know, I’ve gotta get back” you laugh awkwardly, trying to play it off and rush towards the door “Um I’ll catch you at practice tomorrow!” and with that you go, leaving Diana standing in the training room alone and  confused. 

—————————

The next day at practice, the atmosphere between you and Diana is noticeably tense. You arrive early, as usual, to help set up and assist with stretches. You’ve managed to avoid telling Sue about this whole Diana debacle, trying to keep from her lectures.

As the team files in, you focus intently on your tasks, hoping to avoid any awkward interactions. But it’s impossible to ignore the magnetic presence of Diana as she walks into the gym, her eyes immediately seeking you out.

You try to act natural, going through your routine with the players. When it’s Diana’s turn, you lead her to the training room as she takes her place on the mat, and you approach with professional detachment, though your heart is pounding.

“Morning,” she says, her tone casual but her eyes betraying a hint of something more.

“Morning,” you reply, keeping your focus on the task at hand. “Let’s get started.”

As you begin to help her stretch, the proximity brings back the memory of the previous evening. Your hands brush against her skin, sending electric sparks up your arms. Diana doesn’t make it easy, her body language and occasional lingering looks making it clear she hasn’t forgotten either.

“You know,” she says quietly, “I’ve been thinking about last night.”

You swallow hard, trying to maintain your composure. “ D, we shouldn’t talk about this here”

She chuckles softly, a sound that makes your stomach flutter. “Maybe not. But we can’t ignore it forever.”

You don’t respond, focusing instead on finishing the stretch. But when you look up, her face is inches from yours, her eyes dark with intent.

“Nora,” she murmurs, her voice low and intimate. “I don’t know what’s going on between us, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Your breath catches in your throat, her proximity overwhelming. “Diana, we can’t—”

But before you can finish, she leans in, her lips brushing against yours in a soft, tentative kiss. It’s like a spark igniting, setting your senses on fire. For a moment, you forget everything—the warnings, the doubts, the pain. There’s only Diana, and the undeniable pull between you.

But just as quickly as it began, the moment is shattered as coach’s voice booms across the gym, down the hall, and into the training room, breaking the spell.

“Alright, everyone, get your asses up let’s get started!”

Diana pulls away, her expression unreadable. You’re left standing there as she runs back to the main practice area, heart racing, trying to make sense of what just happened. 

As practice continues, you struggle to focus, the memory of Diana’s lips on yours distracting you at every turn. It’s like a whirlwind of emotions, pulling you in all directions at once.

After practice, you find yourself alone in the training room once again, sorting through equipment as you try to process everything that’s happened. You’re still reeling from the kiss, unsure of what it means or where things will go from here.

Just then, the door swings open, and Diana walks in, her expression determined.

“Nora,” she says, her voice soft but resolute. “We need to talk.”

You suck in a sharp breath “D I have to go I’m-“

“No, Nora you keep running and we need to talk”

“Diana…”

“Just five minutes, please” 

Diana's voice is pleading, and you can see the sincerity in her eyes. Despite your reluctance, you can't deny her request. You nod silently, gesturing for her to take a seat as you settle into a chair opposite her.

For a moment, there's silence between you, the tension palpable in the air. Diana fidgets with her hands, her gaze fixed on the floor as if searching for the right words.

Finally, she looks up, meeting your eyes with a mixture of vulnerability and determination. 

“I’m just confused about what’s going on between us? I mean, your first few weeks here we were inseparable and then you do a 180° on me and pretend like I don’t exist? And then- then we almost kiss and then we do kiss I’m just.. I’m confused on who you feel here.” 

“You’re confused? Imagine how I fucking feel D, you flirt with me and call me pretty and take me out to eat and sleepover at my dorm and—all this other shit but turn around and kiss another girl? And on top of that you tell me you can’t stop thinking about me, It’s frustrating like just be honest” you rant, letting all your feelings from the past few months voice themselves.

Diana sits there sort of silent and you continue “Even fucking Sue warned me that’d this what happen! And I didn’t listen when I know I should’ve, it would’ve saved me all this confusion” you huff.

“Nora I…” 

Diana's voice trails off, and she runs a hand through her hair, clearly struggling to find the right words. She takes a deep breath and starts again, her eyes locking onto yours with an intensity that makes your heart race.

“Nora, I didn’t realize how much I was messing with your head. I’ve never felt like this before, and I didn’t know how to handle it. I was scared,” she admits, her voice barely above a whisper.

“Scared of what?” you ask, your tone softer now but still edged with frustration.

“Of this,” Diana gestures between the two of you, “Of us, of how strong my feelings are for you. It’s easier to flirt and mess around than to face how real this is. That kiss at the party… it was a mistake. I was trying to convince myself that what we have wasn’t real, that it was all just in my head. But I can’t keep lying to myself, and I can’t keep hurting you.”

Her confession leaves you speechless for a moment, the sincerity in her words cutting through the fog of your emotions. You take a deep breath, trying to process everything she’s said.

Diana reaches out, taking your hand in hers. Her touch is gentle, but there's a desperate urgency in her grip. "Nora, I'm so so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have to just please forgive me” 

You take a deep breath, glancing down at your intertwined fingers and feeling the weight of her words. Part of you wants to hold onto the hurt, to protect yourself from getting hurt again. But another part of you recognizes the sincerity in her eyes, the genuine remorse in her voice.

"D," you start, your voice trembling slightly, "I need to know that you won't hurt me like this again. If we're going to move forward, I need to trust you."

She nods fervently, her eyes shining with determination. "I promise, I swear on fucking everything, I promise."

A small smile tugs at your lips, the vulnerability in her words melting some of the walls you've built up. "Okay, but this has to be different. No more games, no more mixed signals. I need you to be honest with me."

"I will," she promises, her voice steady. "I want to make this work, Nora. Let me start with asking you on a proper date m. No more hiding, no more confusion. Just you and me."

You feel a flicker of hope in your chest, a warmth spreading through you at her words. "A proper date, huh?"

Diana grins, her usual confident demeanor peeking through. "Yeah, a proper date.“

You stand there silently, watching her sweat a little at your lack of response.

“So? You gonna ask me?”

“Wha- I thought I just did?” genuine confusion paints her face.

 “I’m waiting…..” you sing song, smiling

She rolls her eyes at your sarcasm, scoffing then takes both of your hands in hers “Nora Evans, will you please do me the honor of sharing a meal with me, outside of the facility, in a romantic setting, preferably under $40”

You chuckle nodding before glancing down at her lips. She leans in, her eyes sparkling with relief and excitement, and presses a soft, lingering kiss to your lips. When she pulls back, you can see the sincerity in her gaze, the promise of something real and honest.

—————————

Over the next few days, you and Diana take the first steps into your new relationship. It's a gradual process, filled with small, meaningful gestures—a shared laugh, a lingering touch, a whispered promise. The awkward tension that once filled the training room is replaced by a quiet, mutual understanding.

One afternoon, you both decide it's time to tell Sue. You've been dreading this moment, knowing how protective Sue can be. But it feels right, and you want your best friend to be a part of this.

You catch Sue in the dining hall, finishing up a study session. She looks up as you and Diana approach, a curious smile on her face.

"Hey, you two," she greets, her eyes flicking between you with an all-too-knowing look. "What's up?"

You glance at Diana, who nods encouragingly. Taking a deep breath, you start, "Sue, there's something we need to tell you."

Sue raises an eyebrow, clearly intrigued. "Oh? This sounds serious."

You exchange a nervous look with Diana, then take a step forward. "Well, Diana and I... we're kind of seeing each other now."

For a moment, Sue just blinks at you, her expression unreadable before she groans, smacking her hand on the table “Dammit, I owe Tamika $20 bucks”

You and Diana burst into laughter “What? You were betting on us?”

“She knew the second I told you not to date DT you were gonna do it anyways, shit” she sighs “I guess I’m happy for you though” she says jokingly.

“Oh whatever, Sue” you laugh

She looks up at Diana “If you hurt my best friend, just know I’ve got something in store for your ass”

Diana raises her hands in mock surrender, a playful glint in her eyes. "Got it, Bird. No need to send out a hit squad."

Sue narrows her eyes, leaning in for dramatic effect. "I'm serious. I've got connections."

You can't help but burst into more laughter at the exaggerated threat. Sue joins in, pulling both you and Diana into a tight, affectionate hug.

"Honestly, I'm happy for you guys," Sue says sincerely, giving you a squeeze. "Just be good to each other, alright?"

You nod, feeling a warmth spread through you. "We will, Sue. Promise."

———

lmk how you feel about this everyone! i kinda struggled writing it but in the end i like how it turned out

[riewritten]

so i went to a remote area this weekend for a field work and i cant help but imagine erwin during the ride... like in an interview he said that if given the chance, he would like to live in a remote cabin, right?

LIVING IN THE CABINS OF TROST

ERWIN SMITH X GENDER NEUTRAL READER

TAGS: post-canon, erwin lives agenda, fluff, age-gap (lol rie tell us what we don't know!), love confessions, basically jus wholesome stuff

WORDS: 2k

in a setting where erwin lives and can retire from being a soldier, with which he eventually builds a simple cabin of his own in the outskirts of trost district to enjoy a simple life in the rural. you, on the other hand, are a researcher who came all the way from the stohess district, interested to study trost's advanced agrarian reform program.

their advanced practice was what saved trost's economy from titan invasion years ago, but sadly not every district in paradis would like to apply it in consideration to the nobilities. in principle. you'd like to have it implemented to the rest of the paradis island which takes pride in its rich agricultural resources. and to know the bounties of trost to the fullest, you'll have to live with them for a month.

lo and behold, you'll come across the erwin smith as one of the residents. usually, he doesn't talk much to people, let alone from outsiders, but the villagers love him because of his kindness and intelligence; they're confident that if there's someone who could help you the most, it'll be no other than this man. moreover, erwin welcomed you with open arms as he's very intrigued to know how the educational system in paradis has been doing since his last involvement in the academe (before he enlisted as a soldier. pretty long time, isn't it?)

he doesn't want the residents to treat you as an inconvenience so as soon as he learns your university isn't funding student researchers, which makes you lack the resources to rent a dorm in trost, he gladly opens the spare room he had built inside his cabin at your disposal (he had built that room so levi, hange, and others could sleep somewhere comfortable whenever they go visit him).

what a kind man he is, but you can't help but be bothered because not only is he so kind for reasons you're yet to unveil, but you are to live with him! a very handsome middle-aged man who is unreasonably single, especially in a period where people as young as sixteen are already bearing children! maybe the sheer change paradis had become since the walls collapsed has something to do with it?

it isn't long til you learn that he is none but the very commander who had contributed the most for the freedom of paradis! he suddenly blurts out over breakfast that he was the 13th commander. the 13th commander of the scout regiment. you took history classes really well so you know what the 13th commander has done; it's just that you never remembered his name because as far as you are concerned, the former commander opted to not get his name published in books. the long list of his comrades were there, but not their commander, making your teachers speak of him so highly--an amalgamation of what a real leader must be. goodness gracious. the way you started shaking over the coffee and bread erwin had prepared made him panic.

"oh no, was the coffee too strong for your liking? i'm so sorry." and when you eventually cry and utter praises and gratitude for serving the country well, he starts laughing—boisterously so, a laugh he had never done during his prime years—and pats your head. "well, our efforts have never gone to waste because of smart students like you, no?"

to integrate more with the trost community, erwin fetches you to other neighbors using his old car every morning (he bought it for a discounted price at an auction—scratch that, the merchant almost gave it to him because he was a huge fan. had erwin been a boastful bastard, he wouldn't even bother paying for it). he says the ride to another farm takes around half an hour, so you two take your time talking about a lot of things such as erwin's previous profession, his favorite areas on his lawn, the things he'd like to do in the future to make his little paradise even better to live in, and more. how badly you yearn for a life like his.

and when late afternoon comes, erwin would pick you up from the neigborhood so you can accompany him to the wet market approximately an hour away. erwin usually takes this chance to talk to the merchants because he supplies them his harvest at a low price for extra income (what a strategic and simple man he is!) then you two would restock condiments and other needs in the house that his small farm couldn't provide. the life erwin has is tiring for you who's basically raised in a highly urbanized area, but that doesn't mean you don't enjoy it especially with erwin's company.

one of the best things he had ever shown you is the tiny river surrounded by giant trees where he takes a bath. the scenery makes you feel like some sort of deity in an urban legend. the sun would peak behind the leaves and onto the water, then the water would bounce back its light towards your glimmering eyes—full of adoration at god's creation. the river is quite cold and sometimes the breeze these trees exude freezes your skin. but it feels so fresh, so pleasing to look at, and you wouldn't mind if you're not accustomed to taking a bath in an open area. no reason to be scared, too, as the singing birds and cicadas keep you company. not far from here, you could also hear erwin chopping wood. of course, he's just there, ready to rescue you if you slip on the rocks or some intruder tries to come at you.

one of the best tasks he had entrusted you with (which you asserted to be tasked because you couldn't fathom not paying him rent) is plucking ripe fruits from his farm. in your hometown, every need comes with money, but here, one could survive with just the gifts of land ripened by their hard work.

"it makes your research more valuable, doesn't it?" erwin affirms, "imagine every citizen in paradis being able to live a life not based on money once the government appreciates agrarian reforms more, given how rich our country is with natural resources."

the distance you had with him as he intricately teaches you how to cut fruit from its stem, his appreciation for your principles (which students from the urban area often laugh about), and the way his hands brush against yours while he's correcting your posture because the way of cutting needs to be precise so the stem could still be capable of bearing another fruit—it all fills your heart with sheer warmth. when night comes and you're alone in your room, you finally deduce what you feel for him—it's not just mentorship that you want from him, or his kindness, or even his farm.

you want him as he is. you want to give back all the help he has given you by loving him with all your heart.

as the research is about to end, you realize that you soon will be bidding him farewell to go back to your hometown, to live a boring university life, to take a bath in the constricted bathroom of your dormitory, and to live a life where you have to take money out of your purse every time you want to eat. it filled your heart with sorrow. you hope you can stay with him.

on one of your final days in erwin's house, you wake up with rain so strong tip taps of water can be heard from the roof towards the wooden floor. erwin knocks and asks if he could fix it as you eat breakfast but as soon as you open the door for him, you start crying.

"i'm sorry, it happens a lot during rainy days. i should've warned you." perhaps he's thinking that an urban girl like you would deem living in this wooden cabin overwhelming, but it's rather far from it. "I'm thinking of replacing the roof with cement instead of mere iron strips, but I can only do that when summer comes. you might not be here anymore by that time, though."

"can i just live here for good? i don't want to go," you wail, the attachment and adoration you have for this new friend flowing through your tears. "i want to live here for good."

"because you want to witness the renovation of my roof...?"

"no!"

erwin is surprised at your sudden rise in tone, but eventually he smiles despite not understanding it all, "i'll consider, but only after you let me fix the hole in your room."

it took you five minutes of wailing (and erwin's gentle taps on your shoulder) before you step away from the door and let him in, with which he whispered a small praise, "good girl. now come on eat your breakfast and drink your coffee. we'll talk after i'm done here."

his voice sounded so warm, deep, and gentle in that particular remark.

you manage to do what he asked of you, albeit with little hiccups. to be honest, had erwin lacked the academic knowledge to help you finish your research, your stay in his home would've lasted longer. but he's such a smart man—even on par with your actual research professor—that it even makes you wonder if his parents were formerly part of the academe, too.

when erwin learns of that fact, he laughs in guilt, "i'm sorry! i admit i got too caught up with your research. you should've shooed me away when i got too invasive! is that why you were crying?"

"no! it's because i want to stay with you longer!" you cry, albeit impulsively, because you are drenched in cold water as soon you see erwin's surprised face.

nonetheless he's able to compose himself, "seems like you loved living in trost, hm? it's okay, you could visit us here even after your research is—"

"i meant you! i want to stay with you specifically!" you blurt out. oh god, did bathing in the river give you a bravado as strong as erwin's? you're not usually this blunt.

"why, if it's fine to ask?" erwin starts, his face more serious this time around, albeit there's a tinge of expression you couldn't quite decipher.

you wouldn't be able to take this back. you wouldn't be able to take this back. you wouldn't be able to take this ba— "because i like you." you wouldn't be able to take that back! "oh god," you covered your face in embarrassment. "i-i'll be back! i'm sorry!" then you stand up from your seat and hurry towards the door.

you run to the secluded river to wash your face from embarrassment (or perhaps drown in it for good), but after a throaty scream of shame, you notice a presence behind you.

"e-erwin!" you screech in surprise. "i-i told you i'll be back soon!"

"repeat what you just said."

"the what?"

"what you said before running off. repeat it." the expression on erwin's face that you couldn't quite decipher earlier is much more understandable now.

it gave you more courage to admit, "i said i like you."

"as a...?"

the mood is ruined when you suddenly let out a chuckle, "what do you mean 'as a?' i know we have a bit of a generational gap but i'm certain what i said was clear enough!"

this is the first time you've ever seen this man flustered. all this time you thought of him as someone who knew everything astutely. he walks closer until you're centimeters apart, eventually he smiles in realization. then he cups your cheeks, "finish your research and come back here. you'll hear my answer by then."

"huh?" you scorn, "why don't you answer now while i'm still—"

a kiss on your forehead cuts you off. it lasts for ten seconds or so—you know because you started counting it out of fluster. while on it, he rubs his thumb on your cheeks in circular motions. the sensations render you in a haze. as soon as he withdraws, you bury your head on his chest, taking his scent in even though you don't understand what's happening. "what i could offer to you is nothing in comparison to the life ahead of you in stohess. do what you must there. submit your research, advocate for your principles until your voice reaches more people, and if by then you still can't stop thinking of me, by all means, stay by my side for good."

"how can i be sure that you're not married the moment i come back?!"

he chuckles, then places your hand on his chest. his forehead bumps on yours, a knowing smile plastered on his lips, and his eyes reeking of adoration. "because my heart has been yours the moment you set your foot here."

p lease i encourage everyone to continue this fic for me because as much as i love the prompt i donT HAVE THE TIME TO TURN IT INTO AN ACTUAL THING 😭😭😭 PLEASEDKDKSED

🔖 @xiaotopia @cadenza-damour @rinamars @grimistheangerinmystares @suntizme @onasvigo @inkofteyvat @aeanya @watyousayin @collinnmckinley @frenchdyer | SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE TO MY STORIES

[paper-mario-wiki]

hi, this might be a weird question but when you studied in japan, what kind of method did you go through to do that? i've been wanting to study overseas and i figure it'd be a fun place to look into but looking it up gives me a lot of kind of highly expensive travel courses and i'm not sure if that's just how it is or if i'm missing the legit stuff.

many universities have international programs that dont rely on exchange, which is how i went. for me, i applied to Doshisha University's international program and was accepted (though Doshisha is not terribly easy to get into, so I wouldnt look that one school up and call it a day). after that, it's just a matter of filling out all the paperwork off of a list they send you, and then you get to go to japan.

the only thing keeping you from living there is qualifying for a visa. japan's got some very strict visas (some of the hardest to get in the world), but it's not impossible. heck, i did it.