#I have a tooth infection rn
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Iâm obsessed with them
#william afton#so I want both of them carnally#mike schmidt#the objects of my desire#michael schmidt#five nights at freddy's#five nights at freddyâs movie#fnaf#fnaf movie#and Iâm sorry but idk if youâll ever get a full piece from me#I have a tooth infection rn#so I have to rest and stuff but I just wanna draw and cosplay fnaf so bad đ#ejâs art
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head heavy in june
#I have a tooth infection rn and the swelling in my face has me feeling a way#also#very tired old man eyes#zytes#my art#glitch art#aesthetic#art#artwork#webcore#glitchcore#internetcore#abstract#artists on tumblr#visual poetry#abstract aesthetic#glitch aesthetic#new aesthetic#eye strain#tw eye strain#abstract art#gallery art
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being an adult is all fun and games until i have to take my cat to the vet for urinary inflammation and myself to the dentist for a massive cavity and infection in the same fucking day đđđ
i'm so tired
#at least he doesn't have a blockage#i cried so much this morning i was so worried#but he should be okay#they gave me pain meds for him and also gave him a shot to help the inflammation at the vet so#also my face hurts#and i need a root canal#but it's gonna be $3600 total and i don't have insurance#and it's only $600 or so total to get it pulled#but i don't wanna lose my tooth#but i'm pretty sure i've had issues with this tooth before so like#idk it might be easier to just pull it#anyways i'm fucking tired#it was a very long day#and very expensive đđ#(although god bless my friend for being moral support and helping me cover the vet bill)#i'm gonna eat dinner and take my antibiotics for my face infection#and then i'm going to go the fuck to bed bc i have to bus across the city for work tomorrow#fml#when it rains it fucking pours man#feel like a hurricane is hitting my life rn#fuck#personal rambles#ignore this#not stargate
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just had to pull out a calculator to do 7 + 4. i wonder every day how I managed to get into a phd program
#to be fair I have an infected tooth rn and my brain is basically mush from pain + drugs#but yeah. thats a low point for me
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Update about Silly the skitty...
She's just got her teeth removed today, and she is NOT happy.
#shes been having trouble eating so i took her to the vet and she had like a bad tooth infection and they just. took em all.#i cant get a picture because shes pissed rn#i never knew that a Skitty could look so pissed while napping...#she still tries to eat Spike and Sybil's food#she just has to try a little harder.. shes just gumming at that kibble.#rotomblr#pokeblogging#pkmn irl#rotumblr#pokeposting#unreality#tw unreality#pokemon irl#pokeblr
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#apple babble đ#non fandom#i need life to give me a fucking break fr like?????#almost immediately after i finally crawled out of a major depressive episode#infected fucking dog bite from some assholeâs unleashed dog#major tooth abscess that literally has my entire left side of my face and head and neck throbbing with pain#canât afford to get the damn thing pulled until a few more days#so my body is fighting 2 major infections rn and my heart rate is at a constant 100-115#canât think straight canât focus on anything#couldnât walk priya today bc of how shitty i feel#had an EXTREMELY stressful anxiety ridden day with my client today which didnât help anything#my work days have been so fucking long that i donât have time to take care of my medical stuff before everything closes#i had to race to get my antibiotics WHILE i was working bc i knew i wouldnât get there in time after work#bc my fucking client kept adding shit for me to do last minute#then was like âoh btw you only have an hour to make these 10 fucking stops bc my appt is soonâ#give me a fucking break liKE COME THE FUCK ON#IM SO MAD AND ANNOYED#i didnât even walk the dogs this morning#i just too them to a secluded place off the trail and fucking cried for an hour#i really hate things rn like i really hate how difficult and fucking expensive it is to stay alive#i fucking HATE IT#delete later#i guess idfk whatever
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literally crying waiting in the dentist office because our region wide chef basically acted like i am stupid and unwilling to work after 3 weeks of me being in pain which is now at it's peak
I have a literally open wisdom tooth and a headache on the other side that's also stabbing me open with pain-add to that the brainfog bc uh pain and general nausea
and his first question it to ask me if i hadnt considered taking painkillers
....................
OH NO SORRY YOU OH SO WISE MAN I HADNT CONSIDERED DOING SO FOR THE PAST 2 WEEKS I WILL RETURN TO WORK IMMEDIATELY APOLOGIES YOUR MAJESTY
he was upset i dared leave work AFTER finishing everything for the ppl who had appointments today because I hadnt done enough apparently
only the complicated things no one else can or will do (: which was the only reason i even came in in the first place because otherwise I'd have gone to the doctor asap and left my coworkers to bathe the bs storm out (:
#txts#rant#ii only have pain stretching over my jaw into my head and possibly even bothering my neck lol its fine#just for weeks now and today even painkillers cznt stop it completely qnd i am at my limit#and just the pure inhuman disrespect....wow#i know he doesnt value us who actually do the work and bring in money#but still....wow#i am tired and exhausted bc pain so just let me leave to get it fixed#i am fully expecting my wisdom tooth to be pulled#even if it isnt the source of the pain rn#just to prevent future issues bc...tooth meat is exposed#and has been for a while#and i know its infected around it or near it#tbh i dont think the wisdom tooth itself is the issue#but i also dont think i can convince ppl to keep it longer#best case tbh would be an appointment on monday to get that shit delt with and a week off to recover#i can deal w tooth pain i have been doing that all my life#but the uncertainty and pain combinations is just exhausting now#also the disrespect i have just been shown by regio man rly makes me just wanna take sick leave till i legally cant anymore#need a vacation here lol#crying didnt help the headache and i still wanna like#claw my ear insides out and away#but hey...at least we may make progress sooner rather than later
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My fucking mouth hurts!!!!!!!!!
#v true#send help#i wanna cry#its a stabbing pain#that isnt just in my tooth#it runs along my right jaw line#and i cant wear my mouth guard rn bc of the broken tooth#so my tmj is acting up#i have pain up into my ear#my tmj causes me sinus infection symptoms#thats how i found out i have it#bc i kept getting medicine to get rid of it and it never went away#so i saw an ear nose and throat specialist#who told me its tmj#please help me#if you can#i have a donation post pinned if anyone wants to help#all this complaining isnt just to get ppl to donate to me#i just need to express my pain somewhere#i hurt so bad#someone make it stop#please#i want to kms#kill me please#the pain just doesnt stop#its been days#my mom is giving me heavy duty pain meds#bc the one night i âdidnt look goodâ#i want to rip my ear off#idk what good that will do at this point
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Pretty when you cry đđâ
Summary: feelings are hard.
Pairing: young politician!Coriolanus x Fem!reader
Warnings: tooth rotting fluff, Coriolanus is stressed and needs you, emotional vulnerability, mentions of parental loss, crying.
A/N: just some heart-achy fluff bc Iâm in the mood to coddle someone rnđ
Masculinity and Bravado were drilled into the brain of Panems president since the day he was born, festering like an infection, multiplying like an invasion, until all he could feel was shame for feeling.
So often heâd find himself teary eyed, chanting soliloquies of âMen donât cry, you arenât weak, crying makes you weak.â like mantras around his apartment, such nonsense that those superior used to undermine his naturally empathetic soul.
It wasnât until many moons later that he crossed your sacred path, your mere presence a soothing compress on his aching heart. Little by little, you cleared his night skies from its once insurmountable peril, the darkness that had consumed his soul was no longer seeping through his core, instead it soaked through his eyes, salty drops of crystalline water flowing down his milky cheeks.
At the moment, he was being comforted by his ever so generous and loving wife. The emotions he buried so desperately were now flowing like a river in front of his own personal Aphrodite, a tsunami of emotions flooding his soul, lapping at the weak spots of his delicate being. Never would anyone describe Coriolanus Snow as vulnerable, but right now he was. Your tenderness akin to the mother he lost so long ago, and his trembling frame that of a little boy. This is love in its rawest form, the ability to express vulnerability without judgement, the thing Coriolanus so clearly craved his whole adolescence.
Heaven was breaking down in your arms, having a rough day and coming home to you, the woman he loved with every ounce of his being, to have you hold his face and tell him it was all going to be okay; your murmured words like a warm compress on his aching heart.
So often he reminded himself that he was allowed to have bad days, being president was draining, and the cracks in his mask were deepening, he could no longer hide from the flood, he had to just make sure he didnât drown. Luckily you were his life boat. Despite all his hard work, sometimes the darkness prevails, dawning cloaks of false serendipity, only to shed its light and consume your dignity. The darkness that clouds his vision, creeps into the corners of his mind, dampens his thinking, the darkness only you can cut through. He beam of light, his saving grace.
Coriolanus was a blubbering mess, your fingers running in his platinum curls a reminder that he was safe, that he was going to be okay. Slowly, he lifted his head from your chest and sniffled.
âI donât deserve you..â he murmured, eyes red and puffy from crying so hard.
âShhh, just lay on me baby, itâs okay, Iâve got youâ you cooed, pressing his face back into the soft fat of your chest. As to which he happily complied.
The muscles of his shirtless back were relaxed, melting into you and your warm embrace. He wrapped his arms around your middle and hugged you like you were going to disappear if he let go, you were his most precious gem, a beauty unmatched by the most divine beings, a goddess amongst men, and Coriolanus was your most devoted apostle.
Slowly, his breathing regained stability, his pink lips no longer quivering, chest no longer heaving. You peppered his teary cheeks with kisses as he calmed down slowly. His mind slipping form consciousness as he fell asleep.
âI love youâ he croaked gently, voice rough and tone uneven, the most vulnerable state Coriolanus Snow could be in, the one reserved for you.
âI love you too baby boy, so much. Now sleep, itâll all be okayâ you mutter as he flutters his eyes closed and lays on you completely, your own personal weighted blanket.
Coriolanus was truly sculpted by the gods, how else would he be so pretty when he cries?
#coriolanus snow#tom blyth#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#anisangeldust#hes so babygirl#coriolanus snow fluff#coriolanus x y/n#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus snow x female!reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus imagine#â ËïœĄâౚà§Ëangel#pretty when you cry#coriolanus snow smut#angel#angel dust#tom blyth x reader#tbosbas#tbosas#pretty crier#Ëââ§ê°á Angel writes! à»ê± â§âË
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Hello I don't know if your requests are open, but can I request something for hoshina and Gen?Maybe a bit of angst but ends in Fluff.In this scenario his in a relationship with the reader,but the reader has had a very rough past which ended with their entire family being killed in a Kaiju attack.And they sometimes get nightmares about their family,they reveal the reason why they joined was for revenge they want to kill every existing Kaiju.Their reckless in the battle field,don't care about their life and suicidal.During a mission they were protecting their fellow soldiers and taking down maybe a numbered Kaiju,they ended up getting a very life threatening injury but luckily recovered.
You can choose if you wanna make this dw- I just want some angst with fluff rn đđ»ââïžđš.
HAVE A NICE DAYYY
FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL
Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!
__________________________________________________________________________
Fandom(s): Kaiju No. 8
Pairing(s): Hoshina Soshiro x Reader
Narumi Gen x Reader
Word Count: 1.1k
Genre(s)/Tag(s): Gender Neutral!Reader, Overworking, Nightmares, Suicidal Tendencies, Gore
Notes: Doing this a bit differently, the beginning scenario is the same for both Narumi and Hoshina. The hospital bit is where it varies.Â
I did already do a similar scenario with Narumi on my page. Itâs titled âRunning Away From What?â if you wanna check it out :)
The scenario part went a bit longer than I hoped, so I cut them off a bit prematurely, mostly because I didnât want to overwork my already overworked brain.Â
Make sure to read the tags!
__________________________________________________________________________
In the world of kaiju extermination, it was well-known that you were a workaholic. Even more so than most people. You got up earlier, stayed later, and trained with any scrap of free time that you had. You werenât particularly powerful when going up against powerhouses like Ashiro Mina, Narumi Gen, or Hoshina Soshiro. But you still pulled out enough power to be a formidable opponent in your own right.Â
You were scrappy, clever, and quicker than most. But that didnât mean you had magically gotten that powerful. No. You earned every percentage you pulled out by fighting tooth and nail and with broken bones. In short, you earned your teamâs respect.Â
If only you could eradicate every damn kaiju on the planet with that power.Â
But that was going to be more challenging than you thought.Â
The battlefield was chaos. People were getting hurt, dying even.Â
And in the midst of all of it, you were frozen. Your grip on your weapon was loosening, slipping from your fingers, and it took all your mental strength to keep from dropping it. You stared blankly at the kaiju before you.Â
It was on the smaller side when it came to kaiju, though it was still the size of a horse. It stood on all fours, with a long tail swinging back and forth and blistered skin melting into bulging muscles. There wasnât a single hair follicle in sight, leaving the skin covered in pustules and blisters that oozed green liquid. It stunk, the overwhelming scent of infection making you gag through your respirator. The beastâs face was corpse-like and looked pieced together with loose skin and a mouth full of broken teeth.Â
The monster was disgusting. But the smell of its breath brought back memories of bodies torn in half and fires consuming your childhood home.Â
Your name being called broke you out of your stupor, and you tightened your grip on your weapon. Turning ever so slightly, you spotted a comrade in arms running toward you.Â
âThe kaiju is a daikaiju! Itâs rated an 8.0! We have toââ Quick as a whip, the beastâs tail swung around and cut your comrade in half. The light abruptly dies in their eyes, and the top half of their body topples to the ground with a wet thump.Â
Abruptly, a raging fire bursts within you, and you grit your teeth, ignoring the bile rising in your throat from the stench, and you leap forward, ready to vanquish this monster that killed your fellow soldier.Â
Hoshina Soshiro
The light scorched your retinas when you opened your eyes.Â
So you did the logical thing and closed them again.Â
But the quick glimpse told you what you needed to know.Â
You were in the hospital.Â
The beeping of the heart monitor didnât take long to start driving you up the wall, and part of you was tempted to try and turn it off.Â
But you knew you were in no condition to do anything but lay there.Â
It was then that the door opened, and someone swept in with the force of a hurricane.Â
âHow are they?âÂ
Soshiro.Â
He sounded upset, which was odd for him. In all your years of being together, you could count on one hand the amount of times he had been upset around you.Â
âSame as yesterday. There was a blip in their heart rate a moment ago, but itâs back to normal again.â Someone saidâa doctor or nurse, maybe?âand you felt someone adjust something attached to your arm. Perhaps it was an IV?
The medical personnel left, leaving you alone with your fiancĂ©. You immediately felt his hand in yours as he sat at your side. His hands were calloused, as were yours, but you could practically feel the grime from the battle.Â
Had he not showered since the battle?
How long had it been anyway?Â
âYâknow, I really wished youâd wake up⊠So I can both reprimand and congratulate you.â Soshiro said with a breathy laugh. His hand squeezed slightly, tangling his fingers with yours, and you felt him press his mouth against your knuckles.Â
You fought to open your eyes again. This time, it felt as if your eyelids weighed a million pounds. They wouldnât cooperate. You couldnât get your body to do anything you wanted.Â
Until⊠Your eyelashes fluttered.
A gasp. Your name being exhaled on a breath. Like a wish on the wind. Soshiroâs hand tightened again around yours.Â
And then light.Â
Narumi Gen
(He still doesn't get a gif. I still don't like his anime design)
How were you alive?Â
At least, you assumed you were alive.Â
You were pretty sure the afterlife didnât have this damned beeping all the time.Â
There were two types of beeping.Â
The first kind, which you knew well, was the beeping of Genâs handheld gaming device.Â
And the second? You also were very familiar with itâthe beeping of hospital machines.
âI know youâre awake.â Yup. That was Gen. So, you agonizingly peeled your eyelids open and tried to look over to the side.Â
Keyword being tried.Â
There was a neckbrace around your neck restricting your movement. So you settled with groping with your free hand that didnât have an IV in the back of it for Genâs hand. He obliged you and took it, pausing his game and setting it aside to focus on you.Â
You could tell without even looking at him that he was upset. You told him as much, and he scoffed. You could see the ruffling of his hair in your periphery as he ran his free hand through the black and gray strands.
âNo shit, Sherlock. You almost died. Of course, Iâm mad.â He snapped, and you closed your eyes because you couldnât do much else.Â
âDid I at least kill that motherfuââ
âWorry about something else for once!â Gen bit out, and your mouth shut.Â
The situation dawned on you as Gen started to speak, explaining what happened after supposedly watching the surveillance.Â
You almost died five times. Twice when fighting the number kaiju. You remembered those moments just fine. And three times, when your heart stopped those three separate times on the way to the hospital. You didnât remember this. You remembered gutting the monster and killing it, but after that, it was just⊠Blank.Â
Had you really come that close to death?Â
Hearing Genâs voice crack, something that never happened, cracked your heart, and you squeezed his hand.Â
âIâm sorry.â You croaked and heard him sigh.Â
âJust⊠Donât pull something like that again⊠Okay? I almost lost you.â He said softly, and you felt a tear streak your cheek.Â
âPromise.â
#kaiju no. 8 x reader#kaiju no. 8 x you#kn8 x y/n#kn8 x reader#kn8 x you#hoshina x reader#hoshina x you#hoshina soshiro x reader#hoshina soshiro x you#narumi gen x reader#narumi gen x you#narumi x reader#narumi x you#fairy writes
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i'm thinkin' lets have some cute wari content b4 we move onto the nasty stuff AHA
pairing: tonowari x reader
genre: tooth rotting fluff
notes: felt the need to write something fluffy and cute to cleanse my polluted soul. Plus I really just crave some cuuute wari rn.
synopsis: sick 'wari, thats it.
THIS ONES FOR U @avatarkv âĄ
The soothing sounds of waves rolling easily up the shore, paired with the chirps of airborne creatures had awoken you suddenly, along with the concerning, loud coughs of your dear mate. Worry had painted a frown on your face as you had placed a cold hand on his hot forehead, checking his temperature.Â
As it turned out, the mighty oloâeyktan had come down with a cold, and he did not want anyone to know. So, you had carried on with your day, fulfilling your duties as TsahĂŹk, and carrying out a small portion of his as well, since he had not been able to lift even a finger that morning. Oh yes, your mate was very sick.
Upon your arrival home, you noticed that he was still sleeping. You frowned once again, for the sun had begun its descent hours ago, and it was now closer to evening.Â
With quiet steps, barely noticeable even to a mouse, you tiptoed over to where Tonowari laid snoozing. He looked so cozy, so undisturbed and free from the stress and pressure of the demanding role of oloâeyktan. You pondered for a minute, or two, if you really had it in you to wake him from his peaceful slumber. No, no you couldnât possibly. He deserved all the rest he could get, considering the overwhelming amount of workload and responsibility he shouldered as clan leader.Â
A gentle smile placed itself upon your features as you lovingly observed your mate. Carefully, as to not wake him up, you moved a loose strand out of his face. You got up, an idea forming in your head as you rummaged through the pod for some medicinal herbs.Â
A sweet, delicious scent filled Tonowariâs nose, waking him from his nap. He groggily rubbed his eyes in an attempt to see clear again, because it could not truly be this dark outside, could it? His tired gaze wandered around the lit up pod, searching for his lover. And he soon spotted you, crouched down, leaning over the large pot situated in the middle of the room. He yawned, stretching his long, strong arms, before preparing himself to stand up.Â
âOh, good morning, or should I say good evening, âWari!â Your voice interrupted his action, and once again he sat himself down. âIâm just getting some warm soup ready for you, It shouldnât take too long, my dear. You just stay right there.âÂ
His face wore a doting smile as you got up from your former spot, carrying a wooden bowl with hot, steaming soup.Â
âHere you go. Drink carefully now, and don't forget to blow on it. It is still very, very hot.â You warned, handing him the piping hot bowl. He nodded, gently placing his hands atop yours as he accepted the bowl.Â
âThank you, yawne. Truly, you are the sweetest gift.â You grinned proudly at his praise, happy to be of help to your beloved.Â
He wasted no time when he was finished, wrapping his long and strong arms around your form. You struggled against his tight grip, reminding him that he was sick. And that you did not want to be infected.Â
âI have important matters to attend to tomorrow, âWari, you know this. I canât get sick now, who is to take care of the village?â He hushed you, placing a loving kiss to the top of your head.
ââI am not going to get you sick, just let me hold onto my love while I lay dying.â
You rolled your eyes at his antics, giggling as if you were a teenage girl again as he peppered your reddening face with gentle kisses and pecks. His warm embrace was enough to make you sleepy, and soon it was Tonowariâs turn to admire you, ever so lovingly.
#tonowari#tonowari imagine#tonowari x you#tonowari avatar#avatar way of water#avatar 2009#avatar twow#avatar pandora#avatar fanfiction#tonowari fluff#avatar fluff#avatar x reader#avatar x you#avatar x female reader#tonowari x reader#tonowari x y/n#avatar the way of water#tonowari x fem reader#tonowari x metkayina reader#james cameron avatar#jake sully
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Any weekend plans?
(CONTENT WARNING FOR SLIGHTLY GROSS MEDICAL STUFF BELOW)
under normal circumstances I'd be at work, but sadly I'm still laid up with a sinus infection so bad they might have to do a second surgery on me next week (the infection was caused by my wisdom teeth surgery two and a half weeks ago). the infection is so bad the sinus cavity is literally completely full of fluid and will not drain out and it hurts 24/7 AND it's still infected in my actual tooth socket, because I'm part of the special "less than one percent chance" of people who get a sinus perforation during wisdom teeth surgery. so there's a little hole between my nose and my mouth and it can't heal until the infection goes away, and the antibiotics are not cutting it rn. I did a week of amoxocilin and then they had to bump it up to two weeks of augmentin, which are these giant fucking pills, and I'm still suffering constantly
tldr: my weekend plans are to lay at home and suffer and I'm trying not to be a big bitch about it but if I have to get a second surgery I'm going to lose my mind
#bitts answers#sorry to use your well meaning ask to vent anon but ive reached the point where I desperately want to go back to work#and I can't because my physical stamina is fucked and im currently immunocompromised#the only good thing about this is that the oral surgeon isn't charging me for anything after the actual surgery#because he knows it's his fault for not catching the perforation when it happened#ughhhhhh
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Hey Kat. I fucked up real bad and now it's going to turn into a massive, expensive mistake and I'm terrified. Basically I've always struggled with brushing my teeth. I have autism and it's my biggest sensory issue, I can't stand the feeling of the bristles, or the sound brushing makes. Even plain, kids toothpaste and mouthwash are too strong flavours for me and toddler toothbrushes are still too big for my mouth. It's overall just a miserable, painful experience for me. Combining this with severe depression (no motivation to brush my teeth) and psychosis (thinking the tap water's acid so not wanting to go near it) means I have severely neglected my teeth as an adult, now that I'm no longer 'made' to do them regularly like I was as a child. Despite not being to the dentist in 7 years, my family decided it was finally time for me to go, as I've been in pain for a week or so, a tooth at the back cracked and left a sharp bit, and a chunk of one tooth fell out a year ago and they're worried about possible infection. And they're only the VISIBLE issues. I just...I'm so fucking angry at myself rn. Like this is my fault. I know that. I'm so annoyed that I can't just brush my teeth regularly like so many other people do. That I didn't just push through the pain and do them anyway to avoid all this. Because now it's going to cost literal thousands to fix and I'm STILL going to hate brushing them anyways, so I should have just done it in the first place, you know? Just the thought of going to the dentist though makes me absolutley terrified. Bright lights? Centre of attention? Being touched by strangers? The feeling of metal scraping on my teeth? (I use plastic cutlery for this exact reason) I just don't know how I'm going to cope. Sorry for the rant. I'm just scared.
I totally understand that this is a scary and serious situation, but I fail to see how it's your fault that you're autistic and have severe sensory issues and why you should feel guilty and blame yourself as if you simply didn't care to brush. Because clearly there is no "just" about dental care for you... â€ïž
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Hey, hope everythingâs ok? Iâve missed youâre post the last couple of days.
I didn't mean to disappear off the face of the earth and make people worry dgsgsg. I just got my covid and flu vaccines and my depo shot all in one day, and then had to have a tooth surgically extracted by an oral surgeon the day after and all of it hit me harder than expected. Felt fevery and generally shitty from the shots, then in pain from the extraction. The pain is manageable with the painkiller I was prescribed, but they do make me feel drowsy and out of it. And the roots of my upper molars go far enough up into my sinuses that I've got a tiny hole in between my mouth and sinuses from the extraction which feels really fucking weird and I'm also on a preventative antibiotic to make sure I don't get a sinus infection while it's healing, but the antibiotic also makes me nauseous so yeah it's rough out here rn
Still not feeling 100% and up for posting (I just wanted to check-in real quick) but I have a few posts I'm looking forward to making when I'm finally out of the pain meds/pain itself brain fogs đ«¶
#if i don't keep up on the painkillers then i end up in too much pain to think clearly#they do completely control the pain if i keep up taking them on schedule but then they also make my brain mushy and weird in a different wa#i thought i was out of the woods tonight managing w just ibuprofen but it got bad again and i had to take half of a Good Shit pill a bit ag#i feel rlly bad for not making a post in advance bc i know i had a relatively recent vent post but the timing was coincidental#this was purely a physical health thing but im sure it would have looked like it was bc i was feeling sad and unappreciated if u were#checking in on my blog bc aside from some passing mentions abt the tooth extraction there wasnt anything abt my physical wellbeing#i checksd dms a couple times before now but not. my inbox until just now sorry yall đ«
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I haven't made a post on here in while.
I've been improving in some areas and getting worse in others. My system communication has significantly improved, I'm not as dissociated as I once was and I've been recovering some memory of my childhood, we're able to recognize switches more, have identified and named over 100 parts in the system, and better understand our structuring and functioning.
Which is a sign of recovery right! But it sucks. My life fucking sucks and I hate it. It sucks now just not as badly as before. Through system communication, I've also discovered many of my parts don't like me, the host, and me and another alter started a campaign to try to get everyone "on my side" because I'm trying to help us heal and get better but I can't really do that with an incooperative system who doesn't trust me. And then while going through all this inner turmoil and facing my problems instead of dissociating from them all this shit started happening in my life. My ceiling fell, my landlord won't fix it and it's been like a month. It's been a headache trying to deal with her, I've been threatening legal action because mold was found on the ceiling that fell, it's a health hazard and she couldn't give two shits! Fuck her. Then my mom got diagnosed with cancer, that was a hard blow none of my system was prepared for. I would think im coping with it fine only to discover I've just been dissociating and I'm actually not fine or coping with it. Well I guess the dissociation is kinda coping but I'm trying to not rely on dissociation so much anymore. And this of course brought up all this shit about my mom I wasn't prepared to discover or know and it sent me into a deep depression. All this stress has been getting to me and effecting me physically, I have been sick 4 times in the past 2 months, I have an infected tooth I can't afford to fix that keeps getting absessed and idk what to do about it because they can't just keep giving me antibiotics right? There's another absess forming rn and this will be the 4th time this tooth has gotten an absess. I told my partner it will keep coming back if I don't get the tooth removed and I saw a dentist, they want 1,500 fucking dollars. 1500$ I don't have. 1500$ I will never have. Fuck the dentist. Fuck teeth being luxury bones. And fuck my life. I'm like in this weird in between stage where I feel like im getting better and worse at the same time. It's frustrating and I hate it. Ugh.
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alright so. update on health things (and also for my reference bc i'm very tired)
roommate has made it very clear that she's going to fight me tooth and nail to let her pay for most if not all medical stuff rn and doesn't want much if anything in return so unless things take a turn for the oh god why i should be okay financially.
i have severe pneumonia, and when i mean severe, like half my lungs are effected. she's also worried about a possible blood infection. i had the option to either get an appointment with a primary care doctor within the next few days to make sure i'm improving, or go to the er.
i aint going to the er unless i'm fucking dying SO
hopefully the meds i'm taking now will help and i can get an appointment with a primary and have everything be hunky dory and fixed soon
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