#I have a ton of respect for you and all the great well thought posts with incredible writing and art!

[gethoce]

I've been looking forward to this one ARGH, Noir is a tricky one to judge! Sure he has rather negative qualities when it comes to Valfrey's honor system, but his positive qualities are strong! If there is one thing Valfrey views most highly it is a strong sense of purpose like Noir's desire to take care of his sister!

His weakest quality would be what he did to Raquelle, though Valfrey knows the dangers of dark matter too well to blame him for that. She can relate to that quite well, actually, having been infected by Dark Nebula for a very long time. (At one point she would have made sure to put anyone infected by dark matter out of their misery right then and there, but that kinda got her into the Dark Nebula situation, so there is more hesitation these days.)

I think what mostly saves him from being in the negative when it comes to the honor ranking is the fact that he is still a teen and not an adult. Valfrey has raised many kids and knows well enough that she can't just expect them to be born with a perfect sense of honor. It is something you gain over time. He has clearly the potential to be a very honorable individual in the future if things were to turn out better. Perhaps he just needs some guidance or better circumstances that allow him to grow strong enough to no longer need to rely on foul tactics and lies. His age is also something that saves him if he ever slips up in a conversation, Valfrey is a lot more patient with young individuals.

Valfrey would rank him more so neutrally, keeping his intentions in mind rather than judging him without proper context and that he is still a teenager. Noir is someone she would watch on the sidelines with a hopeful outlook on his future hoping that he eventually gets to walk the right path. Alas he doesn't quite feel the same it seems and the future doesn't have any pleasant surprises in store for him. </3

I wasn't really expecting Noir would make it to the (Second-Chance) Finals alongside greats like Valfrey, but since we're here...

...I actually had previously written up responses to Valfrey's Honor Tier for Noir! And what better time to post them than now?

(Tagging @gethoce if interested in looking at this down the line, but seriously no pressure to respond back! I imagine you're busy with lots of things!)

-

One must live their life for a purpose such as serving a shogun or protecting one's people.

Noir's life was dedicated to making sure his little sister Adeleine had everything it was within his power to give her and also to protect her from physical and mental harm, making sure she never suffered the way he did. He did this admirably, though at great cost to himself.

If left without a purpose one must make it their mission to find one.

...However, after saving her and dying (and dying twice more as Dark Matter) he has felt completely and utterly lost. A puppet to fate. Noir has stopped dreaming. Stopped hoping...

Be the Master of one's emotions, yet do not rob yourself of your whimsy for it'd poison your mind.

Though he tries to deny it, Noir's actually kept his sense of wry humor despite all that he's been through and was a decidedly fun (!) big brother for both Adeleine and Gooey! While he was alive, he was pretty experienced at controlling how much what he felt inside showed on the outside. But after his experiences with Dark Matter, he's lost a lot of his defenses to his own emotional pain...

Always be honest

Ohohoho! 

...No. Never. Noir has lied (albeit, they were white lies) through his teeth nearly every day of his life. About their family. About their world. About their chances. About his chances...

Do not steal unless it is to protect the weak

Every crime he committed was (at least in his mind) for her.

Do not sneak attack when a fair battle is possible

Sneak attacks were Noir's modus operandi! Why give his targets a chance to fight back or run when you can summon a sword in their back without his victims even getting to see what killed them...?

There is no honour in being outnumbered, use usually unfair tactics to even the playing field

Hmm. He felt outnumbered by the world. Does that count? XD

Though, interestingly enough, as Dark Matter Swordsman, he showed a degree of bushido (!) that the frightened human teen could never quite manage, outside of the realm of his fantasy stories. If either forms of Noir were outnumbered by strong opponents, their self-sacrificial nature would probably shine through...

Respect yourself, keep yourself healthy and well groomed

LMAO! Yeah, no... Noir does NOT respect his body (not after effectively "selling" it for what he believed would be Adeleine's safety) and generally finds it weak, painful, and a nuisance. He routinely sacrifices food and sleep for his little sister. He also insists on wearing that ugly scarf (/lh) everywhere, so probably not well-groomed?

Stay true to your principles

In the main storyline, at least, Noir never faltered. His name means "unstoppable" in his native language and he was always relentless in whatever he did. When deeply under the sway of the Dark Matter Blade, he did waver, but on his own, he stays true.

Do not slaughter your own kin unless they strike first

...Raquelle was family. She could have even been MORE than that to you, one day... But...she was never going to hurt you. You know that, right...? She was the only one who realized how much you'd been hurt. And just LOOK at what you did to her... Murderer...

Take vengeance on those who have wronged you or your kin

...They will never find the bodies. And in a few special cases, that's probably a good thing. The world without Noir is at least a world free of anyone who hurt him or what remained of his family.

Be polite and respectful to those who deserve it

Eh~h, Noir's kind of a sassy, perpetually pessimistic brat. XD He was raised with good manners but lashes out with a sharp tongue and rejection as a defensive mechanism. And even then, he'll still put his foot in his mouth, even to those who have been nothing but kind to him! (He might regret it, but he can't help himself now.)

If one serves a clan or leader that disrespects them or otherwise goes against their principles, they no longer deserve to be named kin

Both he and Raquelle forswore Raquelle's father as "family" after what he did to Noir. And he only ever served Zero via amnesia, brainwashing, or being physically puppeted. Even then, his soul remained in rebellion, praying for the abomination's defeat...

Do not disrespect Valfrey

Hohoho... Noir's actually got a huge soft side for living creatures in general and a lot of respect (or maybe awe? fear?) toward the concept of death, having grown up surrounded by it.

...HOWEVER, all this only stands if he doesn't open his stupid mouth around her. When it comes to one-on-one conversations, he almost unfailingly dooms himself in one way or another.

-

And there we go. Noir's got some positive qualities in this regard, but I feel like there is a definite lean toward the negative in him. Then again, being damned is kinda Noir's brand. ^_-

-

[He may be iffy on the honor scale but you can still vote Noir here!]

[dekariosclan]

Sneaky God Gale Still Loves You

I want to take a moment to offer some reassurance to any of my fellow Galemancers who got the worst Gale romance ending—the infamous ‘Sneaky God Gale.’ (credit to @airydandelion, who I believe first coined the term and who did a ton of valuable research as noted at the end of this post!)

This ending happens when you think you’ve convinced Gale not to ascend. You turned down his offer for godhood in the boat! You didn’t push him towards the crown at all (or so you thought)! And most importantly, he seemed convinced!!

Then you get to the ending on the docks and suddenly he’s all: “that crown tho…🥵” And he leaves.

Worst of all, he won’t even offer to ascend you at the epilogue party.

So what gives?!

Putting aside that this happens because 1. There are some extremely subtle and not-great dialogue options pushing him towards the crown which should’ve been better written/more obvious, and 2. Gale ‘I’m-many-things-but-not-coy’ Dekarios should have been clearly displaying his intentions towards the crown in order to give fair warning to the player, I do still think we can explain his behavior.

The most important thing to remember is that he is not gaslighting you! He’s not smooching you and giving you those big lovey cow eyes while smugly thinking about how he’s going to dump you.

When Gale offers you godhood in the boat, it’s literally called the ‘Be My God Proposal’ in the data files. It’s a proposal. And what a proposal! Because he’s not just offering you a marriage where it’s a short span of mortal years together until death. He’s offering you a literal eternity together.

…and you turned him down.

You did it for all the right reasons, your heart was in the right place, BUT…Gale is uncertain. He loves you, but do you really love him? Just him? He’s still not sure he’s enough for you. You weren’t vehemently against the crown, you seemed to waffle. And you turned down his proposal…an eternity with him was something you did not wish for…

So when he gets to the brain stem, and then the docks, and he still feels uncertainty in his heart, well—it makes him very easily swayed by the orb’s hunger for the crown.

But he still loves you.

When you get to the epilogue, he doesn’t offer you ascension for the simple reason that you already turned it down. He respects your choice, and he’s not going to try and coax you into it; your desires are different than his, and that makes a life together impossible.

But he still loves you.

Well, but, you argue, why can’t we be together as a mortal and a god? Like Gale was with Mystra?

He would never expose you to such risk, because he still loves you.

‘Ok fine,’ you say. ‘Sure, he’s still got his kind heart buried underneath the arrogance. But even so, he chose to leave. There’s no absolute, definitive proof that he still loves me!’

Sneaky God Gale absolutely, 100%, still loves you! So go do yourself (and him) a favor and fix that ending:

You can use this amazing, incredible, fantastic guide created by @airydandelion to ensure you pick the right dialogue choices to get the Gale ending you want!

If you are on a PC and do not want to go back many hours of gameplay to replay/redo the dialogue choices, you can use this mod to convince Gale to stay human with the dice roll at the brain stem.

If you’re on a PS5 (which does not currently have the above mod) my best suggestion is to use the cheaters ring. This is a PS5 mod that essentially lets you cheese all combat and speedrun the game, saving you a ton of time if you need to replay Act 3 in order to get your human Gale.

Whatever you decide to do, you can go forth secure in the knowledge that Gale was 100% truthful when he told you this:

(One final shoutout: credit to @galebrainrott for their post sharing Gale’s datamined files!)

[grandeoatmilklatte]

Fire in the Frat House (Modern College AU Ominis Gaunt x F!MC) 🔥

Another mood board challenge from my wonderful friend @ellivenollivander . She sent me another mood board to base a fic off of, with this one being Ominis themed. So I decided to revisit my modern college AU Frat boy Ominis.

Tagging @little-emerald-snake cause you were excited when I posted the snippet to this one! Apologies it's not hella spicy but I have some spicy Ominis on the way!

Warnings: Mostly fluff, but with a brief moment of dry hump!ng || characters are in college and over 18.

Word Count: 1.9k

The girl groaned as the webpage loaded, displaying a measly 70% on the essay she had submitted last week, the one that had taken her hours of research to complete. 3 months into it, and her first semester wasn’t turning out to be the fun experience she thought it was going to be. Granted, she knew there was more to college than parties, but she also didn’t think her classes would be this difficult, especially having done so well in high school. 

Right now, there were only two things bringing her joy in her freshman life. The first thing being her Sorority - her sisters being some of the best people she had met in her time in college so far. Although the Sorority president, Imelda Reyes, absolutely hated her, she mostly left her alone. The second thing was her relationship with sophomore, popular boy, and campus Fraternity’s president - Ominis Gaunt. 

On the surface, Ominis seemed like the most stereotypical hot, rich, Frat boy - His family donated tons of money to the university over the years, and were friends with the Dean’s family. All of the male Gaunts had attended the school, and they all served as Fraternity president the entire time they were in attendance. Everyone respected Ominis and his social status. Nobody dared to cross him, or even think about making fun of his blindness, which he had since birth. All the boys wanted to be his friend, and all the girls wanted to be his girlfriend (hence Imelda’s hatred). 

Being Ominis Gaunt came with a lot of power, and being Ominis Gaunt’s girlfriend came with a power of its own. She met him on a Friday after her first week, was in his bed by Saturday, and was in the Sorority by Monday. There was no bullying or freshman hazing for her with Ominis on her arm.

Despite the quickness at which their relationship developed, they were very happy. Ominis was an amazing boyfriend - never afraid to show her off, and being supportive during her first semester of college. Of course there were some things he could not prepare her for, and this crappy grade was one of those things. The girl slammed her laptop shut, grabbed her jacket, and left the Sorority house. 

She walked the short distance from the Sorority house to the Frat house, where she let herself inside with her key; another perk of being Ominis Gaunt’s girlfriend. As she passed the kitchen, she found Garreth Weasley, her friend from high school, raiding the fridge. 

She shot Garreth a smile before she made her way upstairs to Ominis’s room, which she found empty. She knew he had a big exam today, so this wasn’t surprising. Between this exam and her essay, the couple had barely seen each other the past few days. She tossed herself on his bed, which was dressed with emerald green satin sheets, and waited, eventually dozing off. 

She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep for, but she was violently awoken when she heard the sound of Ominis’s room door slamming shut. She sat up to see her boyfriend tossing his school bag on the floor in frustration. 

“Babe, are you okay?” 

Ominis looked up in the direction of her voice, seemingly having not noticed she was there. “Oh, darling! I didn’t realize you were here. I…I didn’t do so great on that exam.” There was sadness in his voice. Despite Ominis’s status, he was incredibly smart and took his studies very seriously, so not doing well on an exam was not easy for him.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry!” She threw her arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. “If it makes you feel any better, I didn’t do well on my essay either. Why don’t we do something fun tonight, to get our minds off our terrible day!”

Ominis pulled back, a smile now gracing his beautiful face. “That sounds like a wonderful idea, my dear! Let me take a shower and then we can plan our evening.”

She looked on as Ominis began to strip down, fighting the urge to pounce on him right then and there. Her eyes studied his body as he undressed - his toned arms, fit stomach, the trail of dark blonde hair below his belly button, lower. 

She shook her head to pull herself out of her inappropriate thoughts, grateful that he couldn’t see the way she was ogling him as he wrapped a towel around his waist and exited the room. Not wanting to wait around in his bedroom, she headed downstairs, where she found Garreth in the common area, devouring a bowl of pasta. 

“Is everything alright? I saw Gaunt seemed pretty upset when he got here.” he asked with a mouth full of food. 

She rolled her eyes at Garreth’s terrible manners, and went on to explain the horrible day they both had. As she spoke, Garreth continued to eat his spaghetti, and it gave her an idea. 

“That really sucks!” Garreth said through another mouthful of food. “A few of us guys are going to the movies tonight, and then we’re going to get some beers. I know Ominis can’t actually see the movie, but he likes to listen to them. You’re welcome to tag along!”

“Thanks for the offer, Weasley but we’ll pass. We have plans tonight anyway!”

“Well, make sure nobody catches you here after 10. You know you’re not allowed to be here after 10!” Garreth said the last bit in a mocking tone while she laughed, knowing full well that Ominis never followed that rule. 

When she made her way back upstairs, she found Ominis getting dressed. She once again ogled him as he put on a satin black button-down, which he paired with black skinny jeans. He paused for a moment before chuckling. 

“You know, I can feel you staring at me again.”

She let out a bashful laugh. “Sorry baby, I can’t help it, you’re just so pretty to look at.”

Ominis smiled. “Heard that a few of the guys were going out to a movie. Figured we could go and then I can take you to dinner afterwards.”

“Actually, I thought maybe we could stay in. We’ve got the entire house to ourselves after all! I thought I could cook us some dinner!”

She didn’t have much skill when it came to cooking, the roles of house chefs belonging to Garreth and a girl named Poppy in her house, but she was eager to do something fun for Ominis, and she hoped it would take both their minds off their bad day. 

“Oh darling, that would be lovely!”

–

It was not lovely. Twenty minutes in and she had already shattered a bowl, dropped raw chicken on the floor, and spilled pasta sauce on herself. Despite the chaos she declined help, Ominis having shouted “Darling, are you alright? Do you need any help?” three times in the short time she had been in the kitchen. 

Her luck began to turn around, or so she thought, when she successfully had two chicken breasts cooking nicely on the stove. She then turned her attention to a pot she had filled with water that was starting to boil. She grabbed a handful of spaghetti, not bothering to measure if it was an appropriate amount for two people, and tossed it into the water. Figuring she had some time before she’d need to return to her pasta, she headed over to the common area to find Ominis on the couch. 

“How’s it going, my beautiful chef?” 

“It’s FINALLY going alright!” she giggled as she straddled his lap, her arms coming up around his neck. 

“I’m so glad. I can’t wait to taste what you’ve got cooking for us!” Ominis placed his arms on her back, pulling her against his chest as his lips found hers. Their tongues danced, and after a few seconds, her hips started moving, grinding against his lap. She began to moan softly against his lips as Ominis’s hands shot up her skirt, taking hold of her ass. He guided her as she grinded her center against the growing bulge in his pants. 

Her hands moved from Ominis’s neck to his chest as she began to open the buttons on his shirt when he abruptly pulled away from her lips, sniffing the air around him. “Darling, do you smell that? It smells like - “

“Oh shit!” She shouted as she jumped off of her boyfriend’s lap, running to the kitchen. The fire alarm began to blare as she was met with the sight of her dry spaghetti on fire. She began to panic, frantically opening cabinets until she found the pot’s lid, slamming the lid on to the pot, forcing the flames to smother. It took the pair several minutes to free the room of smoke, the girl bursting into tears once they had finished. 

“I’m so sorry Ominis! I just wanted to do something nice for us after the horrible day we had. I’m so sorry I ruined dinner and made things worse!”

Ominis planted a kiss on her forehead before pulling his sobbing girlfriend into his arms. “Nonsense darling, the effort alone was more than enough. No matter how bad my day is, once I’m with you, it all fades away. I love you, sweetheart! It’s okay! I promise. We can always order a pizza.”

“I feel the same way. You make even the worst days amazing.” She sniffled. “I love you, Ominis.”

–

One hour and one pizza pie later, the couple was snuggled on the couch watching tv. Drowsiness began to overtake the girl, as she let out a yawn. 

“Do you mind if I hop in your shower? I’m getting sleepy.”

“Of course. Just give me a moment!” 

Without another word, Ominis walked off, walking stick in hand, leaving her on the couch. She thought nothing of it, figuring he just wanted to use the bathroom, or perhaps clean it up before she went in; that is until she heard Ominis calling her name from the bathroom upstairs.

She pulled open the bathroom door to find a bubble bath waiting for her, the smell of lavender and roses wafting through the air, and Ominis already in the tub. 

“Ominis!” she exclaimed, the sweet gesture almost making her cry.

“Get in darling, before the water gets cold! And before the rest of the guys get back.”

She was about to undress when she was hit with another, less dangerous idea than her last one. She left the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a bottle of wine and a carton of strawberries. 

The couple soaked in their bath, playing with the bubbles, drinking the wine straight from the bottle, and feeding each other strawberries. As Ominis began to massage shampoo into his girlfriend’s scalp, she reminisced about the terrible day she had, and how it turned around so quickly thanks to Ominis. She was so grateful for him and she found herself falling deeper and deeper in love with him with each passing day. Ominis felt the same, wondering to himself what he would do without her in his life. He loved her more than anything else in the world.

They finished in the bath just in time to hear the sound of the boys returning home. Not wanting to hear their complaints of “why are you allowed to have a girl here after hours and we can’t?”, Ominis quickly brought her back to his bedroom, where they got ready to call it a night. 

After changing into one of his oversized shirts and nothing else, she joined him in bed, nuzzling into him as he wrapped his arms around her. As they snuggled, Ominis forgot about the exam he failed, and she forgot about the paper she bombed. They both just focused on each other’s breathing until they drifted off to sleep. 

[milfygerard]

hello bestie you are my resident taylor swift moot so i thought you’d be a good person to answer: i’m like 40% a swiftie and i know Some of the lore around the gaylor theories but not all. is there some kind of masterpost or blog you can link me to where i can like Gain Knowledge abt it i just really feel like wasting my time on that today

hi ok. God.

Most of the comprehensive ones are either lost to the annals of tumblr or fucking historical documents at this point

the two biggest non-tumblr starting points (though a few of them are still built on a few tumblr links) are the iconic reputation is about karlie kloss powerpoint and the abandoned-in-2019 blog kaylorevidence which are great looks at of-its-time gaylor culture opinions and in jokes as well as having a pretty comprehensive swiftgron timeline, though lots of things have changed w context and time. A big problem w post-2019 kaylor is that widely agreed upon timelines split massively between LSKs and more general gaylor fandom who just like think shes gay/bi or like her music in a lesbian fashion which makes it way harder to keep track of (though i did find this extremely long post-folkmore kaylor update from before midnights was announced) and makes it harder to divide like actual interesting or relevant stuff from babygating or person-who-knows-a-person-who-knows-taylor-wears-someting-with-flowers-on-it type of stuff. @/throwbackgaylor is a good example of having a very uneven mix of both of these things that can be hard to sort through but is probably a good resource for backsearching. If anyone knows how to find the old 2018 kaylor masterlists (of which there were a TON

I know @that-curly-haired-lesbian used to do queer readings and reinterpretations of her songs that I used to scroll thru and ashley norton did a pretty comprehensive breakdown of the taytaysbeard clusterfuck from a non gaylor perspective which as someone who was in the thick of that in high school I thought was pretty respectful and well done even if its kind of unbearable to watch and remember. If you want to see the state of LSK now ttb is still active at @/spade-riddles I believe but that person is a genuine certified weirdo and i dont really recommend it. penelope and priscilla are gay twins also is a good source of at its time gaylor culture and in-jokes (warning for being probably dated I havent watched any of these in a Long time)

if anyone else has masterposts or resources of Gaylors Past pls add on! I feel like so much is lost in social media based communities like this one and it can be hard to illustrate a time in online fandom without a broad spread of examples and stories and pre 2020 gaylor was such a specific moment in time!

[remma-demma]

Yes!! I was going to mention that bit but I forgot lol. Star Wars was 100% the example I was thinking of too.

Wrt homestuck the argument that happens way too often and bothers me is

-someone says they like something in post canon

-someone else says that’s not canon and therefore bad and you should feel bad for liking it.

Which is just. Absolutely ridiculous. Feel free to be a hater in your own mind / with your friends. Disengage from strangers. Don’t come into my house and tell me I shouldn’t be appreciating this art.

This also just seems like a natural extension of the attitude from before homestuck even ended where fans who were embarrassed about being fans would couch their enjoyment in “lol homestuck is trash am I right guys”. That always bothered me as an autistic person who is very sincere about the things I like. Like uh. No actually. I like homestuck because I think it rocks. You can make criticisms of it but don’t frame it and everyone who likes it as… garbage.

Now that same attitude is way more prevalent because there’s content that they can point to and say, look, they ruined it! Homestuck (2009-2016) is good and Homestuck (2016-present) is irredeemable in comparison. Because it’s… not… real? And as I said above. It’s a story, what does real even mean. If I find meaning in it, let me enjoy it!!!

I think some people don’t realize homestuck is a story about storytelling.

I was thinking about people insisting the Epilogues, hs^2, or Beyond Canon aren’t canon. And like. Yeah, that’s the point.

What does it mean to be canon anyway? Stories that get tied up in neat little bows are hard to expand upon. What happens after the happily ever after?

You can take it the direction of mundane day to day fluff (candy) or send them on another world shattering adventure (meat) but neither one is really real because… it’s a story. Homestuck was never really real. They’re both real. None of them are real.

This is all so clearly spelled out in the post canon material that I’m forced to assume they just. Have not engaged in it and / or ignore it on principle.

[nonbinarypirat]

A fellow enjoyer of mairuma who likes reading others headcanons/interpretations here! just thought I'd share my own headcanons

1.) I think the misfits lack parental validation from one or more parental figures so they seek that validation from someone else, like Kalego. He, as their homeroom teacher, knows full well what they're capable of and actively gives them harder challenges to further bring out their potential. So I think the misfits would seek near impossible tasks not just for the fun of it, but to receive validation from someone they look up to.

2.) I believe that Kalego shows his love in pride. And when I say love, I mean all love; familial, romantic, platonic, and the kind that you know is there but don't have a name for. I guess a good example would be Balam, his closest friend and well-respected researcher. Balam would have achieved great things in his field of research and Kalego would be very proud of him for it, though I doubt he would explicitly show it. The same would go for his students. A mix-match group of kids who have, more than once, taken the impossible and made it reality while proving him wrong every chance they get.

(also a small group of demon plus one human children have better cooperation skills than most adult demons. yes demons are self-centered but i do think its really funny.)

well, these are my headcanons sorry if its really wordy. what are your thoughts on them and what are your mairuma headcanons?

thx for reading and have a good day/night :D

I have been fully focused into my classes and college recently since I’m in my third year (we’re so close to the finishing line yall) but YES I love this!! One, I appreciate you sending me this since I haven’t done a post for a while! I promise im still here and I’m keeping up with the recent chapters 🫡. But yeah, I just love Kalego as a character. Like, he really is my favorite because I love a rude and snide character who you can tell cares a lot. Even if he won’t tell you that.

Kalego cares deeply for his students. Like sure, they annoy him and are goofballs. But at the end of the day, he is also protective of them. He knows they can accomplish great things and that’s why he’s hard on them, it’s not due to a lack of love. His pride is his way of showing affection. He will do his damnest to make sure you succeed and through his little actions, the characters can tell that he’s proud of them too. It’s the little moments with Kalego that make them know he does deeply care for them.

And yes, I also have a head cannon that for many of the misfits, they are lacking in some sort of parental or familiar love. Obviously we can’t say this for certain for all the characters, but it just feels like that’s why, no matter how much they complain about him, he also means a lot to them too.

As for my other head cannons… One head cannon I have (with the little info we have so far) is that Elizabetta grew up similarly to that little girl from Ouran Host Club, ya know the sister of the black magic club president? That is to say, I think she’s loaded but was primarily raised by her maids who gave her a lot of the romance books to keep her entertained. I think her parents were never really around. Or if they were, they don’t have her a ton of attention. I guess this is more of a head cannon slash theory? But when we see the house visits, we don’t even see her parents. A lot of them you saw the parents, a back shot or their torso. Something. We even saw Kalego call some of the parents. But her parents just wasn’t in the frame and she just kept showing him the things in her room which gives me the feeling she had a lot of material goods they bought her, but maybe not their affection. We also don’t see any adult when we learn about her ambition. Which is why I think she’s so attached to love, she is reaching for a connection she may not feel she has with her parents. And maybe in a way, she’s wants to build a family that will actually appreciate her the way she wants. Which to me makes the relationship to the misfits even more special because she finally has the love and pride of her found family. Idk, just a silly head cannon I have based on current knowledge!

[fallinforerling]

LOVE ISN'T ETERNAL. chapter 5 - jb

Song recommendation for today's update: Tink - Toxic

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s masterlist

ೃ⁀➷ jude’s taglist

ೃ⁀➷ masterlist

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

The rest of the night went without you even noticing, mostly because of the extra drinks you had after telling the girls about the little selfie with Gio. And as you supposed, they loved how well played it was.

Another thing you could still remember vividly while you managed to open your eyes was that even after you said goodbye, you encountered Gio once again on the dance floor.

You danced together for a couple of songs. It was obvious you were having fun; Gio always behaved like an absolute sweetheart, super respectful, and even though you knew some flirting was there, he never made it obvious. He was good company. 

Now you were fully awake, having a dejávu when you realized Mia and Nikki were sleeping in the same position from a few days ago. Odd.

“I can't believe we partied until four A.M” Mia's voice, sounding raspy as always when she drank too much, made you notice that she was also waking up. “Now I'm seeing the consequences of my actions.”

“Yeah...” You agreed, feeling how your body was heavier than usual, making it difficult to move. So you didn't. “I think I'll live here forever, I don't have the energy to get up. Not today, not ever again."

“What time is it?” Nikki whispered, still wrapped in two covers. You didn't even had two covers on your bed the day prior... Where did she find them?

“Hold on...” Mia moved around the bed for a moment before letting herself fall again into the mattress. “Oh God, it's 3 p.m”

The three of you gasped before laughing. Yep, that seemed reasonable.

“We need to eat something or else.” You said after a while, making sure none of them had fallen asleep again. “Are any of you craving some shawarma?”

“Hell yeah.” Nikki said, still wrapped around the covers, but fully awake as far as you could tell.

“Nice, let me grab my phone.” While getting up, you started to see the disaster the three of you caused around the bedroom. Your clothes were everywhere, the bathroom door was fully open and even being far away you could notice that three drunks were there. “Great...”

You didn't have the energy to care for cleaning right now. The bags were strangely safe, carefully placed by your vanity. Priorities. Luckily, all your stuff was still in your purse, which was a miracle of its own. The only strange thing was your phone, which was buzzing like crazy. The battery was almost gone, but you could see the many notifications popping up second after second.

“What the...?” You took it, fearing the worst. “Gio's story...” Now that you thought about it, maybe being posted and tagged on a famous footballer's insta story wasn't the smartest option when you wanted to keep a low profile. “Fuck my life...” While you unlocked it, Nikki and Mia were out of bed, looking at you with curiosity.

“What happened?” Mia said, arching an eyebrow.

“I think I just exposed myself to the world.” You said, gasping when you saw that most of the notifications were from Instagram.

"What do you mean "exposing yourself”? You didn’t post a nude picture, did you?” Nikki questioned, getting out of the covers.

“I think that’ll be easier to fix if that was the case…” You unlocked your phone, trying to calm down and not succumb to the rising panic you were starting to feel.

Tons of notifications were still coming, but you decided to go directly to Instagram and find out what kind of disaster was starting to unfold. Your notifications were up to at least 5.000 only in mentions and following requests. Thank God you kept your IG private. Before your trembling fingers made a mistake, you went to your DMs, which were even worse than the notifications because not only hundreds of people were asking who you were, but also sending you videos and photos. With a deep breath you started to open the recent ones. 

“What’s going on? You look pale.” Mia got up from the bed, taking your arm carefully. “Come on, sit before you pass out.” 

“I feel like I’m about to…” You sat between the two of them, letting them see your phone screen. They peeked over your shoulders, gasping when they saw the amount of DMs. 

Some of the messages were just things like “Are you Gio’s new girlfriend?” or “Are you friends with Gio? Give him my number lmao” while others were worse, not because they were threatening you or anything similar, but because they mentioned Jobe’s twitter photos or that people were sharing videos of you dancing with Gio last night. 

You went through some of them, feeling more and more anguished by the minute. 

“Is this you with Gio????” 

“Oh my god, are you dating both Jobe AND Gio?”

“Are you the same girl from the photos of the twitter threat?” 

“You look kinda similar to Jobe’s new girlfriend”

“It’s giving clout chaser”

“Are we seeing the rise of the next WAG?” 

“You’re pretty asf”

“Omg, I could swear on my mom I’ve seen you before in Dortmund with Judeeeee”

The last caught your attention more than you wanted. It wasn’t that impossible, since you did go out for walks with Jude after his practice or drive him around town when you were visiting. But back then it was impossible for the few people that saw the two of you together to figure out who you were. Now, with your face out in the open, maybe more people could start recognizing you.

God knows what could happen.

The absolute worst part of all this was people recognizing you from that stupid Twitter threat. You weren’t dating Jobe, but who was going to believe you? It was better to stay silent while figuring out what to do from now on. 

“Look, someone’s calling you.” You blinked, coming back to the real world. You didn’t even notice that you spaced out for a bit. 

The screen read “Unknown number”

“You take that, I’ll see what’s all this fuss about.” Nikki got up, reaching for her bag. 

“I’ll go make us some coffee.” Mia gave you a look that said I’m sorry.

“I’ll help you with that” Nikki almost ran after Mia, giving you that look of sympathy you hated before leaving. The door closed behind them with a click. Now you were alone with this call. 

You didn’t know why, but you knew it was Jude. 

“Hello?” You picked it up before it went to voicemail, regretting it almost immediately. 

“I’ve been calling you all morning! The fuck is happening? Why are you on Gio’s IG?” Yep, that was Jude’s voice. 

You didn’t know what you were expecting when the first call after the breakup happened. Feeling excited? Hopeful? Happy? None of that was happening at the moment; you were pissed. Because how dare he call after weeks of silence to confront you about what you did as a single woman?

“Excuse me?” You said, feeling your blood boil. “Why would I give you an explanation?”

“Because you’re my-” 

“Your what, Jude?” Your voice remained firm while your heart shattered all over again. Why was he doing this? “Your ex-girlfriend? Yes, I remember. I’m not your problem anymore, why are you calling me?”

“You’re still my friend, you know that” Ouch. “You didn’t even told me you were going out with freaking Gio.” Why was he mad at that?

“And why should I inform you about that?” You wouldn’t admit you just happened to run into Gio yesterday.

"Because now people think you're his fucking girlfriend!"

“So what?! You didn’t let me know when you went out partying and when you made out with some girl a week ago, did you? Do you even care if people assume that's your fucking girlfriend?” 

The line fell in an awkward silence for a few seconds. You almost laughed. 

“How do you know about that?” At least he didn’t try to deny it.

“Why does it matter?” You avoided answering him. “You’re acting like a hypocrite. Why are you calling me? To make me feel bad about moving on and having fun with my friends, just as you did a week after you broke up with me?” 

“That’s not what-” 

“You know what? I don’t really care what you are trying to do here. Don’t call me again.” And you hung up. 

Before he could call again, you blocked his number. And then, like a wall collapsing, you started to sob and then to cry. 

“Fucking prick!” You wanted to throw your phone, but that wasn’t going to make you feel better. You hated him more than ever. And you hated that he had this effect on you. 

“Honey! What happened?” Both girls came running into the room, startled by your scream. 

“That fucking asshole!” You said, unable to stop your sobs. Were you crying because of how mad you were or because you still felt a little bit of hope about this call being different? “He dared to call me to ask questions about why I was with Gio last night… Like he had any rights to do shit like that.” 

Your friends hugged you without saying anything, knowing what you needed right now. 

When were you going to get over him?

[blue-thief]

do you perhaps have some headcanons about mr. isagi? <3

OFC!! <3333

on top of having 2.0 vision (and well, metavision) his VVIQ score is a perfect 5

this helps him a lot with art and he's actually pretty good at it even though he's not as passionate about it as he is with football/soccer

he started drawing through doodling his favourite manga characters and he's able to recreate art styles almost perfectly

he's actually pretty careless when it comes to his schoolwork (esp for STEM) so sometimes he'll hand in incomplete work bc it looks like he's already filled in certain questions

like no. you doodled an eye instead of solving for "x"

he canonically hates science, but if he had to choose one branch as his favourite, it would be chemistry (not boring & derivative memorization like bio but not absolutely insane like physics)

something might contradict this in canon but i hc his handwriting is pretty shitty lmao

since so many sports anime characters look like him (nanase haruka, kageyama tobio, etc) i like to pretend they're all cousins and they meet up at family reunions to compete to see who's better at their respective sport

so yeah despite having no siblings he has a shit ton of cousins who he's really close to

he was conceived by accident 💀 his parents love and coddle him despite this

despite showing the exact opposite of the typical symptoms (great spacial awareness, scarily good empathy, etc) i still say he's got autism lmao. he just has a really unique type yk

his hobby is canonically walking, but i wanna expand on this a little bit

he somehow doesn't listen to music on his walks

(in fact, he doesn't listen to much music at all. that's why his fav song is from a commercial 💀)

furthermore, he rarely ever brings his phone out on walks at all. he likes being at one with his surroundings and he doesn't want his phone to distract him

which is understandable. unless we're talking about how he'll sometimes walk 2+ hours to go to a friends house AND HE DOESN'T HAVE IT?? NO GPS??? NO MAP NOTHING

he's just spent so much time walking around saitama he has a map of most of it installed in his mind

he really doesn't use his phone much at all. he has a few accounts in case he wants to check something out, but he doesn't post anything + barely follows anyone + even has a blank pfp on everything

he apparently received 0 valentine's chocolates in the previous year, but a few ppl from school had a crush on him

he's not popular or anything but some ppl over the years thought he was a genuinely sweet guy and quietly observed him from a distance

he's completely oblivious to this

his school friends all have way more romantic experience than him and they all tease him for this

he gets really frustrated about this and tries to convince himself he likes certain ppl in hopes of something sticking

when he genuinely likes someone he's oblivious to this too lmaoo

he's the type of guy to take dodgeball in PE wayyy too seriously

the first time he swore was when he was eight and got mad at his teammates for slacking off

he got in trouble for this and never swore in front of an adult ever again

(the lack of any physical adults in blue lock made him fall back on his foul mouth)

his fav class is PE in canon but i think i remember something about isagi hating baseball? that might have just been someone else's hc but yeah

he enjoys basketball and badminton, but he thinks volleyball is mid

the one time his school tried floor hockey he enjoyed it well enough

american football is just way too confusing for him

he had no backup plans in case football/soccer didn't work out, but he'd be fantastic in psychology and/or politics

[samsm2mstories]

My coming out story.

I thought I should share you my story about coming out which was actually recently.

For many years I had a lot of suppressive issues that were out of my hands, society, cultures and other reasons which meant for me it wasn't the right time. Luckily for some countries it's easily being who you are compared to 10-20 years ago. The world sucks still as there are homophobic idiots everywhere, some are just sore losers who got not respect in society while others just don't know any better as their upbringing wasn't teaching them to respect others.

Luckily enough I live in the UK and we as a country have got better even although the early / mid 1900s generation are still hard at adapting to the modern world. It's not their fault as their times were different. Religion, society didn't know much better but that's history as we are the ones that living in this world and will be the ones moving forward. Some people will never understand it and respect it.

I'm lucky to come out around great people, I am a very well respected in person and in general a natural born leader so you could say I was like a captain that was popular which made my coming out harder.

Some of you might be thinking now does it become easier to come out as your identity?

I believe it's can depends on a number of reasons. You got to truly believe that you are who you are.

Don't question it.

If you question yourself, don't come out as that's a sign you are not ready. Talk to your friends, talk to strangers who are gay online (be safe not to disclose personal information)

I will admit I sat in my chair for a few good hours debating how to come out. I decided to go for it and do it in one big statement. That's a strong trait of mine as you all can tell on here.

I needed to write my story in a way that it wouldn't offend people, I did mention about the industry that was homophobic, some of my family and school.

It was that second most nervous point in coming out, just posting/saying it. I thought about listening to a few songs that were a big part of my life, thinking about those moments where sometimes I should of come out earlier to enjoy those moments.

You know what, I don't regret it at all, yes I missed out on some years but I had a brilliant life, travelling the world, experiencing new cultures, and making amazing friends on the way.

It did take a toll on my mental health at times but being the strong person I am, I dealt with it quickly enough.

So that night I sat there and my song came along.

Starship: Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now (read the lyrics while listening to this song)

You know this was a song of mine but the words in it made me realised I want to go out there and enjoy myself.

I finally did it.....

Those nerves, stomach turning inside out, emotions running wild. It all hit me like a ton of bricks.

What will people think?

What will people say?

Will I lose some friends??

Everything was rushing in and out of my mind, I just went to bed, signed out of social media. I recommend you doing this for a day or two as you want to feel the response in one go.

People started to message me, those who had my mobile number. It became a bit easier, I wasn't in the mood for talking much so I text back in small sentences.

I went to work that day and luckily enough nobody there is on my social media pages. I managed to complete 8/10 hours of my shift.

I went home and cried for abit, emotions still hitting me like bullets. You will have moments thinking was this right but deep down you know you are right.

I decided to look at my social media pages.

The final verdict?

I'm finally a free man.

For those who are younger, there shouldn't be anyone under the age of 18 reading my stories as they are explicted but if you are reading this.

For you coming out would be different, I would recommend you do it now when the moment is right but take into consideration your family. Make sure you won't be disowned or kicked out of the house. Have a read-up online about it all and PLEASE RESEARCH EVERYTHING.

We all have different circumstances and you must be completely assured that coming out will be good when the moment is right..

Yes some might not agree with it.

Yes some might hate you now.

Yes some might be shocked and haven't replied.

Who cares????

This is your life so go out there and enjoy it, be safe while at it. Please use protection during sex with strangers.

Remember if you ever feel I doubt or want to talk, there's helplines, friends in the community, even send me a text if you want to talk more.

Don't be afraid to talk.

I hope you all enjoyed this irl story and it would be amazing if some of you reply to this about your coming out stories. It would make a brilliant discussion.

For those who are unsure on their sexuality, speak to me or other members of the community. Talking helps to make a decision. You will feel much better.

Sam your favourite Alpha writer 😎

[metanarrates]

Hiii I see you're playing isat!!! As an orv+utena and more recently isat fan this is very exciting. I love your meta posts. How far are you into isat? Spare some of your thoughts so far?

im on act 4 and I've got some mixed opinions on it! as a certified Timeloop Story and Ludonarrative Mechanics enjoyer, I think the execution in those departments is great! as a certified Character Driven Narrative enjoyer... I can see what the author is going for but I don't always think the execution is fantastic. I like a lot of the characters but the humor and prose/narration/dialogue styles are often grating to me, and there's a strong tendency to spell things out that I think the viewer would be better off figuring out for themself. i also tend to wish that some of the interparty character relationships were more nuanced, because theres stuff there that could be interesting but I'm not sure will ever be touched upon.

isat's concept is difficult to pull off well. I have a lot of respect for the author, because I think there's a ton of fantastic ideas in the game and I appreciate the ambition it takes to tackle something like this. however, starting a game like this in media res creates a difficult situation where I'm expected to immediately be invested in these characters as a found family with an entire unseen adventure's worth of bonding behind them, and their relationships so far aren't compelling enough for me to feel that kind of investment. I feel like there's a lot of gesturing at common rpg party tropes and going "you know, they're like this" and while that's fine, i can't help but wish the developers had found a better way to introduce me to their relationships. it ends up feeling a little unintentionally fanficcy.

that said, the mystery and fantasy elements? the spiral that siffrin undergoes while being trapped in a time loop? the grief and unrest underneath everything? super fun. i'm officially hooked on that. I also think loop, mirabelle, and odile are all wonderful characters and I love seeing them on screen! art, game design, and music direction are also A+. it's a great project! i just think it was something that the author might have benefited from a bit more writing experience in order to make it really shine.

[justagalwhowrites]

this isn’t a criticism on you. you’re amazing and i adore you and i think you’re an incredibly talented writer. why is joel so mean all through lavender like he isn’t nice at all even in the beginning??? girl stand up, this man is not nice to you, find someone who treats you well! he’s always like i’m sorry for being a dick :( ok then stop being a dick then

OMG Hi Bestie!

I totally get what you're saying lol Lavender Joel is a tough one! I'm putting the rest below a cut because oh my GOD I wrote a lot, I have a chronic case of cannotshutthefuckupitis and it's incurable.

While I definitely get what you're saying, I do disagree in that I don't think he's an asshole at the beginning, at least not totally. He has his stumbling block of "this is wrong, I never should have done this" after they sleep together and has his dick moment at the bar. He struggles because of Doc's relationship to his daughter and the fact that the last time Joel had any kind of relationship with a woman it was Sarah's mom and I think he kind of sees himself as a potentially life ruining force for someone he adores and respects so much and he desperately doesn't want to be that for her. Before they're together he's looking out for her (saving her from the asshole guy, having her stay with him, doing little things like bringing her the pens when she's low on ink and making sure she drinks water because I think Joel's love language is acts of service) and once he lets himself love her, I think he's a great partner (though I could definitely be biased because I wrote him and we don't see a ton of their relationship together in the fic!) He supports her interests and ambitions, is so excited for and proud of her achievements, understands her struggles and cares for her through them. He just is keenly aware of the fact that he's not a traditionally successful person and he perpetually thinks she can do better than him. Eventually, he falls victim to that line of thinking and tries to do the "right thing" by breaking up with her.

With the breakup, I think Joel always kind of planned it to be a temporary thing - assuming Doc didn't find someone better for her while she was in med school, anyway. His hope was, at the back of his mind, once she went to Harvard or Yale or some other fancy school and she got matched for residency, Sarah would be off at college, Tommy would be more stable and he could be in a position to pick up and move to wherever she was and they could try again. He just couldn't bear to see her dictating her life around him and selling herself short because of his limitations. His greatest hope was for Doc and Sarah both to reach their full potential and do the things he knew they were capable of without him holding them back. If she met someone else and settled down then, well, it would hurt but he'd be happy for her, assuming it was someone who he thought was worthy (a high bar but it wasn't one he cleared.)

And thennnn there's the outbreak lol

Post-outbreak Joel is another matter ENTIRELY and I've talked about my interpretation of Joel's character a lot BUT it boils down to this: Joel is too traumatized to fully, properly love anyone. Not that trauma inherently keeps you from loving someone but Joel has this really horrible storm of circumstances around his trauma that makes it basically impossible. The biggest one is that the person he loved most in the world died in his arms and he couldn't handle that so he tried to die, too. To the basic parts of his brain - the parts that keep him alive, logical or otherwise - the association has been made: love will kill you. Just like someone who may have been in an awful car accident might have a hell of a time getting behind the wheel again, he can't just let himself love someone. Add that to the fact that the QZ is a state of constant retraumatization for Joel - his daughter died at the hands of a military force and he lives in a city controlled by the military, his job often involves him carrying the bodies of dead children - he can't move past the thing that gave him that association to begin with. The problem is, he already loved Doc. That doesn't just go away. So his poor trauma-addled brain sees her as a threat to his survival and is constantly and instinctually trying to push her away. He doesn't want to be doing these things. He clings so hard to her when he first gets to the QZ because what he wants is to be with her. The trauma just doesn't allow it. The reason it works out when it does is that he's removed from the state of retraumatization and put into a situation where he has a lot more control than he had in his daily life in the QZ and he was finally confronted with the fact that losing her would kill him, regardless of how near or far she is.

You are right, though, that Doc really did not have a spine when it comes to Joel (or a lot of things, really) but that was kind of by design. She accepts his treatment because of her own baggage. Being abandoned by her parents in infancy, being treated with a certain level of resentment by her grandmother (who loved her but really didn't want to be the one raising her), her best friend dying by suicide in her teens, she has developed this complex that she is supremely unwanted and unworthy. She feels like everything she does needs to justify her existence because she doesn't inherently have a reason to be there. Her whole life, she's been an inconvenience at best and she's keenly aware of that fact and she spends her whole life trying to make up for it (just look at her career choices - always looking to care for others.) While Joel never thought he was worthy of her, she never thought she was worthy of him, either. But instead of trying to push him away, she did everything she could to endear herself to him, including tolerate his mistreatment because she doesn't realize that she deserves better.

Joel and Doc are very much two sides of the same coin (which was the point of the fic!) in that they have a lot of the same trauma. The feelings of being unworthy from before, the loss after. But when they both lost everything, Doc took the path of "cling to everyone I love as hard as I can" when it came to surviving while Joel took the track of "push everyone away and I won't be at risk." They pick these paths right at the beginning, with Joel choosing suicide when he loses everything and Doc choosing to keep going because she knows Joel would want her to. In the end, when they're in a place where they're safe and their basic needs are being met, they can heal and have a relationship that's far healthier.

ANYWAY lol I'm sure you didn't want an entire dissertation about my interpretation of Joel but here we are! I hope this is some insight into why I wrote him the way I did. It's mainly that trauma is a hell of a drug and Joel got a hell of a dose of it.

Thank you for asking, bestie! Love you!

[fushiglow]

sooo... can we all agree that this fight is definitely ending next week???

some (lots of) thoughts on the jjk 234 leaks below!!

i feel like i'm the only person who's still really enjoying this fight??? like i think it's great????? anyway.

i can't believe megumi had a TIGER SHIKIGAMI??? and now it's just GONE????? honestly, ever since the yorozu fight i've been bummed out by how much of megumi's growth sukuna has taken from him, but this one *really* hurt.

i convinced myself that gege would save the tenth shadow for the boy's big comeback (because i'm an idiot) 😭 i know there's still a ton of potential in megumi's domain but his precious animals!!!! ugh.

although speaking of comebacks — "how long are you gonna make me wait? you're no longer fushiguro's shadow, you're MINE" is suspicious as hell 👀 is mahoraga reluctant to follow sukuna's wishes??? WHY????

as for gojo, turns out he *is* the strongest because he's gojo satoru. i've got so much respect for him after all this, he doesn't even need to win to prove himself.

when hakari said gojo told them only to intervene when he's weaker than them, i laughed out loud. he's there with half an arm, no rct left, brain damage from using his domain too much, and you're telling me we're *still* not at that point?? like i knew the gulf between him and the next strongest was big but not THAT big??? just how strong is he???? 💀💀💀

as a side note, i'm *so* happy to see that the students have a plan in place!! and i love that gojo wasn't too proud to make one — although we knew that already. i hope we get more insight into what's happened over the last month in the coming chapters. (also will everyone stop coming for my boy yuta now??? he was just worried about his sensei!!)

still, i feel like the peek into the future on the last page spells either victory or death for gojo. the insight into sukuna's thoughts was very welcome and i'm glad to see that he's sweating as much as gojo right now. however, the dialogue about win conditions at the start of the chapter keeps playing on my mind. a lot could happen in 41 seconds and there's no guarantee that gojo is still standing by the time that hollow purple hits.

(by the way, are we thinking it's the same purple from the start of this fight swinging back around like red did a couple of chapters ago?? or is this the unlimited hollow thing from last week??? confusion)

i have no idea how this fight will end, but it definitely feels like next week's chapter will mark the conclusion. it lines up with the end of the volume, so it seems likely. anyone brave enough to make any solid predictions???

i keep changing my mind about what's going to happen. like i know we've all convinced ourselves that gojo will die (probably to prepare ourselves for the worst) but it seems too predictable for gege. i think he's done well to keep us guessing for this many months though.

anyway, the essay i started writing about gojo a few weeks ago has turned into a monster essay about gain and loss and karmic cycles and how they play out in this fight. unlikely that anyone else will care but i've spent too long rotting my brain over it not to post so... maybe later this week??

[feelingsstorm]

Well, I never thought I would write something like this again on this blog, and there will be many who are not interested or care about this, but I write it for my conscience.

I opened this account many many years ago, in another life it seems, when I was very young, innocent, and broken, probably if you go down far enough you will find old posts of mine, despite having deleted several, it was a blog that I did not use much, more than anything I used it to vent and feel accompanied in my depression.

Nowadays, despite having worked hard on myself, some days are very difficult anyway, I turned my content to something "more sexual" because in some way it helps me, and it always has, even in my worst moments, I resorted to porn and masturbating to help me, it may not make much sense to some, but it does to me.

That being said, I am a grown woman today, doing the best I can, bad days and all, I try to put all the will I have into it to go forward. For starters, at least I don't hate myself constantly anymore, I've learned to love myself in spirit and in the way I look, and I work really hard for that, I'm a real person. Having gone through such a bad time in my life, I never judged or treated someone badly for their physique and I plan to not start now, if I'm not interested or attracted to them I let it go and that's it, so in that sense, I don't understand the need to comment negatively about me 😒.

I am aware of how I look, I have a mirror in my house, I'm not a model or the stereotype of a woman or a porn actress, I'm real, and I'm a great woman. And it's not an ego thing, I know how to fuck, I know how to please and I know how to make people feel good in sex, that's real and better than any false promise made online. So I'm not going to allow some random guy to come and downgrade me just because he doesn't see what he wants on my blog. Clearly, I can't upload porn videos because they'll close my account and also, why would I do it for free? I've never charged for any of this, I've done it because I like it, but believe it or not, I don't live to please others, I please myself, I'm the only one who counts, you guys have a ton of free content of all kinds at your fingertips but the problem is me? That I don't show enough? Get a life...

Finally I add, despite what I publish do not forget that behind all the facade this is what there is, it's a person, I don't appreciate bad comments or childishness from anyone, I like to talk about life as well as sexual things but always with respect, clearly I am not glued to the phone 24/7 because I have a life outside of this, I answer when I can and sometimes I don't succeed in being the sexy woman, because I'm simply tired.

I also understand that everything here is temporary, we all look to escape for a while and share a few things to pass the time, but it doesn't mean we can't talk and share for more than 5 minutes. I'm not a porn page nor do I live at your disposal, I don't send photos, because I do not want to do it for you, if I do it has to be because I wanted to, period.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

Yesterday I saw a post that basically said that Avatar wasn’t a feminist show that has a bias towards Zuko and that no female villains get redeemed(?!?) 

And said that the show oversexualises Azula which like WHAT

This is not a Cuties situation the camera never accentuates cleavage or anything, if you just saw Azula showing more skin in the beach episode (because she’s at the fucking beach) and then immediately thought about sex that sounds like a you problem.

People really gotta learn what words mean - and that no show from nearly TWENTY YEARS AGO is gonna present social issues the same way modern series would. Avatar has two whole episodes in which the whole lesson is "Sexism is bad, don't mistreat women", and a ton of the female characters are absolutely badass and incredibly well-written. One or two questionable moments is not enough to make claim it is misogynistic.

A female villain not getting redeemed while a male character does is only sexist if her gender is presented as the reason why she can't be redeemed, or if they did all the same things but her actions are presented as worse - and while the ATLA fandom is often guilty of that last one (not always because of sexism, but also because of ableism), that doesn't mean the writting of the SHOW was sexist.

I say this as someone who loves Azula's character and wants a redemption arc for her: the show's ending is a tragic, but logical one. Not everyone changes. Not everyone wants to change, or even gets the chance to. It's sad, but it makes sense and there's nothing offensive about the finale (unlike the way Azula was treated in the comics, but once again the root of the problem there was "the mentally ill are inherently evil/beyond help so anything and everything done to them is justifiable").

"The show oversexualizes her" That one is bit more complex - but not THAT much.

Avatar is a show with lots of fanservice (see Zuko taking off his shirt causing birds to fly and fangirls to appear behind him squeeling), but all of it is stuff that was ALWAYS presented in a way that was 100% appropriate for children. More importantly, the show never tried to use the fanservice to compensate for poor writting or to make Azula an evil seductress (a trope that is not inherently sexist, but can become so if the writer isn't careful with it). Making Azula gorgeous in a scene, or letting Grey Delisle have some fun like the did during the confrontation Zuko and Azula had in The Awakening, is not the same as them reducing Azula from character to sex-object.

Once again, the fandom is far more guilty of the "Attractive means sexual and sex is evil" mentality than the show ever was. I lost count of how many people "theorize" that Azula is a "slut" who slept her way to the top and has even raped people (usually Zuko and Suki) even though the show made it clear she can't flirt to save her life, is so respected/feared because she's a great fighter/manipulator, and has literally never forced herself onto her brother and was obviously lying when implying she had done something Suki because THE SHOW ITSELF told us everything she was telling the Gaang on that scene was just an attempt to buy her father more time until the eclipse was over.

Some of the fans treat her as the typical "evil femme fatale that you can tell is evil because she sleeps around", but the show itself never did that.

Also a lot of what I sometimes see fans claim is "sexualization" is just mundane stuff. I lost count of how many times people were losing their shit because "WHY IS A FOURTEEN YEAR GIRL ALWAYS WEARING MAKE UP?"

Maybe because said fourteen year old is a perfectionist that can't even stand to have one hair out of place, so obviously she'd want her face looking perfect too? Or maybe she wants to look older not to "seduce" anyone but because she'd rather not risk not being taken seriously for being so young? And, crazy thought but bear with me here, maybe, just maybe... Azula likes make-up. Revolutionary concept, I know.

And it's not like the show ever got weird about it like the comics (seriously, girl is hallucinating in a straight-jacket and her hair is all messed up, but SOMEHOW she put on lipstic/the doctors did it for her????). She had a clean face when she was sleeping and when she was at the royal spa getting her hair done, and even at Chan's party her make-up is exactly the same she wears during the day. The "weirdest" place she wore it at was at the beach, and again considering it's Azula, who always wants to look perfect, I can see it.

Seriously guys, there's a difference between "TikTok is constantly telling women, teen girls and children they need to buy 37 different products that they gotta put on before anyone can *gasp* see their face" and "This cartoon had one of the characters constantly wearing make-up because that's a thing teenagers do sometimes + it helps the character be more memorable"

[feyreandhercourt]

My thoughts on HOFAS, ft. SPOILERS

Overall, I will say I think this was a very well "written" book craft-wise. Like better than HOSAB and ACOSF, imo.

Okay Bryce telling Hunt “thinking about you getting tortured was hard for me!!!” was a… choice. If fated mates could divorce, I’d be filing

Honestly all around. They are my least favorite but before I attributed it to just not being into Hunt. But honestly they just seemed to be on different pages.

Where was Fury?????????????????????

Okay the hand thing was brutal but well played

Lidia was great. Also I recognized the Brann thing when he was introduced and was very proud of myself because I never make the connections lol

But I did think he might be like OG Brannon… the fact he’s not still has me interested

The bonus chapters were decent generally. Az and Nesta were likeable in them which makes me hopeful because Az’s LAST bonus chapter was Not A Good Look (tm)

Tell me how Feyre beat the Midgardden wyrm or whatever with a bone and yet Az and Nesta couldn’t. Nothing but respect for MY high lady

Speaking of, Theia really went the tradwife route and said no more high ladies tee hee only men should rule, huh?

Did Sigfrid or whatever even matter?

Ariadne felt like the opposite of Chekov’s gun. You have a DRAGON and a lot of fire and girlie is MIA

Ithan becoming Prime when the boy has zero main character energy was… meh.

Getting their powers back was AWESOME though am I forgetting something or did that not happen to Bryce? It felt like a copout but maybe I missed it?

The Theia/Silene reveals were interesting but lmao Nesta and Bryce kept talking shit during them which was both funny and just… repetitive

Bryce seemed to CONSTANTLY making inappropriate wisecracks. Like I don’t mean with the king but like when Lydia’s sons were captured or whatever??? not necessarily that but similar. Like girl there are times to be serious.

Ruhb SHOOTING LYDIA IN THE LEG while they are in enemy territory was one of the DUMBEST things going. But ya know what I need a couple to root for and Juniper/Lydia had no page time so they get a pass

Um. So we’re just not gonna address the Rhys/Ruhn twinsie connection?????

Tharion really made the bold choice to just… exist.

Also not the book’s fault but the video thing lmao would SO be disbelieved with where AI is today and that was all I could think when they released it

The Urd/Wyrd thing was a facepalmer that I liked

Wehb ACOWARA came out, a blogger (who posts great takes) was annoyed Feyre reused the starfall dress because that was a major royalty faux pas. That’s how I felt when Bryce used the mask.

People said things felt “too easy” but I don’t think that was an issue. Like QOS was “easier” but it’s one of the most beloved SJM books. I think the real issue is people didn’t feel connected and SJM had a few too many instances of explicitly saying “they didn’t know what they were doing but they did it by instinct”

GIVE ME MY FIRE BREATHING BITCH QUEEN WITH HER POWERS BACK PLEASE

SJM is 100000% going to write another TOG book and I am so ready. Those do. Not. Miss.

As ever, (and I had the same issue with Marvel) the issue with these multiverse things for me personally is I read some really fantastic theories that make a TON of sense, get excited for them, and then when they’re either not present or not present but with no explanation or a worse one, I wind up disappointed.

I’d say this is my second favorite CC book. I did think it was well-written though. And I know some were upset not to have ACOTAR POVs (okay me too lol) but I do think it makes sense to keep it as Bryce’s book. Except it’s more “Bryce and Friends” than Bryce.

[fayrinferno]

Shower Thoughts on AI Art

I think my aversion to AI art is not a secret and there's ton of posts that I agree with and I could not have put better. Still, I will try to collect a few thoughts of why it's so shitty and depressing for me. No, it's not even because I draw and write a little and I feel threatened by it and the art theft it entails (at my level I just don't). This is more of a consumer standpoint.

AI art for me is like watering down the same teabag 20 times, yeah, you got the ingredients correct and you got some result out of it. But is it still tea? Anyway, you don't care, you water it down the 21st time and the water doesn't even color, so what now? You figure out you just need to put some artificial colorant into hot water and you can call it a tea. Like they do it in the food adverts. Replacing actual food with delicious-looking chemicals. You can make so many cups of tea-looking liquid with just one tiny bit of colorant. You can skip the whole growing the plant, picking the leaves, drying them and whatnot, even something as minor as unpacking the teabag each time... and you get a nice looking cup of tea without all the effort! It's easier, quicker, cheaper. People will eventually get used to the new definition of tea. Except it's poison.

But before you even started slowly poisoning people with it, you devaluated what tea should be. You watered it down till all the taste disappeared and it became colored water that you could replace with... well, colored water.

You can pop these "works" out like microwave popcorn. You can post 20 of them online in an hour. You and everyone else. You are making trash out of a rare and precious good, to be sold at dumping price. In all human history, people who created masterpieces had honed their skills for months, years, and enjoyed the respect of people, sometimes good money (or at least some of them did; more deserved it). Even those who would create forgeries of their work had to train for years to be able to do that. You will just render that effort useless, stupid, laughable. So why should anyone bother and waste their time, train for years, and yet beggar themselves with a worthless trade? The pool of talent will get smaller and skills will deteriorate so I wonder what would the AI feed upon then? Upon itself? Or will it just rehash endlessly what was created before this cursed decade?

And so, we're quickly getting to the poison point. If something is not done to limit it, AI will stop making those dumb mistakes it does now. You will no longer be able to identify it, discern it from human-made art, from real photos, videos. You will be able to not only create flawless masterpieces; you will render your own reality. Manipulating the masses will become even easier than it is right now.

And this is happening to art, you know, the thing that always had our backs and souls in time of crisis. Like the one that is already here. Instead of helping with the crisis, helping us to better lives, AI targets one of the last pillars of hope. One that should inspire us to imagine a better world.

When I saw an amazing piece of art, I used to feel admiration and inspiration, imagining the mind, talent, skill, effort, training, time, energy, emotion that went to it. The artwork itself was just the tip of the iceberg. Now, I squint at it like, AI or not? I will never trust a newcomer artist again. Digital art makes many things easier already, that can't be denied. Combined with AI, it will just make creating great artwork laughably easy. Even if it IS an artist that has (and is willing to train and use) some skill, AI can make it so much easier for them. Soon, there will be no telling between a real artist and a total hack. I can look at the artwork and even like what I see, but guess I will never feel that genuine wonder, genuine emotion again. Maybe I'll only find those feelings in the galleries. I will only trust the artist of ye olde, before 2023, who I know could create those amazing things with their own skills. And same goes for writers, I assume. Luckily, there are tons of human-made writing I still haven't read, human-made art I haven't enjoyed. If I can't find something to entertain, I still can create something to entertain myself. I'll find and pick the herbs myself, dry them, make an infusion. But I know I won't have to resort to poison laced with theft.

tl;dr I'll never support something that ruins human motivation to create. Because that leaves us only the other human thing, which is the opposite.