#I have a jake that would work but I don’t think he’d be stable on his side | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jakesimfromstatefarm · 4 years ago

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how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love.

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules.

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!]

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life.

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends.

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space.

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life.

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him.

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings.

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you.

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change.

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history).

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever.

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one.

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second.

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table.

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all.

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking.

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense.

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.)

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue.

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?”

Wrong.

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend.

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.)

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull.

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon.

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak.

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection.

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was.

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners.

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him.

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school)

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time.

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon.

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you.

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be.

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t.

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life.

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you.

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract.

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we?

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second.

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.”

Right. Of course. Obviously.

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way.

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know.

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you.

Yes, that’s it, just say no.

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact.

Jake does not say no.

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another.

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart.

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting.

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea.

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you:

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture.

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world.

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right?

Spoken like a true simp.

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously.

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all.

Wednesday, December 9th

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well.

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist.

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.”

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say.

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself.

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...”

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good.

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often.

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush.

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment.

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking.

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers.

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun.

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table.

“I’m helping y/n study”

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday”

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?”

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party?

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime.

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.”

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes.

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again.

He then looks to you with puppy eyes.

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you.

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that.

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought.

Weird.

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest.

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.”

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no.

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party.

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.”

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.”

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you.

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay.

Admittedly cute.

Thursday, December 10th

You are having a bad day.

You’re having the mother of bad days.

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due.

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms.

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse.

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about.

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal).

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n.

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done.

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space.

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays.

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude.

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone.

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding”

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? ://

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today.

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home.

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures.

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy.

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue.

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.”

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in.

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window.

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door.

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right?

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats.

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood.

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.”

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?”

“Touché,” you click your tongue.

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?”

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously.

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you.

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?”

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood.

You nod at his answer.

“You two make a good couple.”

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.”

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen.

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say.

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy.

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.

Jake.

Weird.

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing.

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation.

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon.

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him.

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you.

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.”

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show.

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice.

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand.

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands.

Hm. A little too familiar.

Then, it clicks in his head.

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?”

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.”

“You’re annoying.”

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied.

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table.

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken.

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?”

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!”

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him.

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice.

You break out of his trance and scoff at him.

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well. Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you.

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.”

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence.

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute.

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.”

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name.

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place. “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan.

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts.

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.”

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it.

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute.

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being.

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion.

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind.

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.”

Friday, December 11th

The party does not clear your mind.

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school.

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood.

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway.

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case.

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings).

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news.

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people.

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap.

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously.

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive.

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you.

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth.

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.)

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons.

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no.

But he sure can be awkward.

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him.

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you.

Bless this pure, pure boy.

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them.

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.”

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!”

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response.

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den.

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.”

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?”

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap).

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.”

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake.

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement.

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.”

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth.

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now.

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.”

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him.

“What do you mean I’m too–”

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say.

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his.

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at.

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop.

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him.

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.”

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing.

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened.

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you.

He’s screwed.

Saturday, December 12th

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night.

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream.

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise.

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone.

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search.

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before.

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet?

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy?

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts.

Talk? Outside his door?

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down.

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less.

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however.

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch.

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is.

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue.

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?”

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you.

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home.

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake?

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps.

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes.

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you.

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence.

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking.

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think.

Not when it comes to you.

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you.

“Look, I-”

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around.

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth.

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.”

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare.

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.”

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help.

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.”

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.”

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.”

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away.

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare.

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two.

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily.

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you.

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach.

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away.

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure.

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response.

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else.

“Too late.”

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’)))))

2K notes · View notes

biggest-stupidhead · 4 years ago

Note

Hello! This is the first time I'm ever requesting something 😂

What do you think of Captain Levi taking the weak cadet reader under his ~very~ protective wing?

Thanks!

Aw thanks for sending this in! 🥺 Personally I think that at first he’d be reluctant to get close but eventually he’d feel responsible for their safety.

Here’s a little something sweet for the kids.

Summary: Levi can’t bear to watch another kid die under his care.

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: mentions of past abuse and malnourishment

When the group of teens wandered into the courtyard, Levi knew that they were no different from the previous bunch. Wide eyed, heads in the clouds, loud boisterous laughter. All the innocent traits that they should’ve possessed, being only fifteen years old. So as he leaned against the stables with Hange at his side he began to wonder which of the young soldiers would come out on top.

There was a sturdy boy with bright blonde hair and a dazzling smile. He seemed strong, and just from looking at him Levi could tell that he was well versed in social cues. If he could prove himself strong enough to make it through the expeditions, he stood a chance at rising in the ranks. A girl with red hair and sharp brown eyes was looking around her new environment with a certain cagey manor that Levi recognized all too well. He figured that at least she was unlike most of her peers, more focused on the here and now, something that was vital outside of the walls. A brunette boy walked in along with the throng of kids, but his shoulders were pulled back and chin cocked upwards. It was clear that he was confident in his skills, more so than most of his peers. He noted the cuts on his knuckles and how his fellow soldiers granted him a wide berth, Levi figured that he must have been strong enough to demand the respect of his comrades.

It was only Levi’s second year with the scouts, yet he could recognize these traits with ease. Cadets were chewed up in training, spat into action and then digested by titans, well of course not literally since titans don’t digest. He hated that he could recognize those who would not make it apart from those who would.

And when he saw you, he knew that you would not be one of them. Frail and silent, almost an apparition, barely standing apart from the crowd. Levi was thrown right back into the darkest parts of his memory when he took in your malnourished state, the bones that jutted from your wrists, the way that the clothes looked too big on you. It was all too familiar, hunger had been a pain he had endured for the worse half of his life.

He couldn’t fathom why of all the regiments, you had come crawling into the corps. Your eyes were glazed over and your face held no emotion. You jumped when the blonde boy clapped you on the back, his hands rubbing your shoulders almost mockingly. If Levi strained his ears, he could just make out the boy’s words. “-I’m still surprised you came here (Y/n)! Thought for sure you’d drop out and work in the fields.” He teased as he steered you towards the red head who was glaring daggers back at the blonde and you.

“I’ve told you....I’m no quitter.” Your words were strained and clearly you had dealt with this tormenting perviously as well.

“Ah but you see I’m proud of you! Our own little runt rising in the ranks.” He clapped your back once more, causing you to stumble forward and smack into the red head who whipped around and glared at the blonde.

“Knock it off Jake, I’ll break your damn ankles if you keep messin with the lass.” Her accent surprised Levi.

“Oh come on Red, you know I’m right.” Jake pressed as he kept a domineering hand on your shoulder, guiding you forward. Levi couldn’t tell if the banter between the three, or well two of them was friendly or hostile as they marched past the stables.

“Interesting batch this one...” Hange commented as she angled her head down to speak to Levi in a somewhat hushed tone.

“Hmph, I suppose.” Levi agreed, eyes still locked on the retreating cadets.

“Since I’m a squad leader now, I think that I’ll take the blonde, he looks like he possesses a good mind.” Hange brought her knuckle to her lips to nibble the skin as her cheeks flushed with excitement. Levi rolled his eyes, he was still working directly under Erwin as a regular soldier, but he hoped to have his own team as well soon.

“You do that.” Levi grunted, pushing off of the wall to tail the cadets into the dining hall for dinner. Hange huffed in disappointment but still followed after Levi, easily catching up to him and matching his stride.

“And what about you? Erwin mentioned giving you some kids to watch, which would you like to have under your care?” Hange asked as she smirked down at Levi.

“The ones that know how to properly clean their asses.” Levi grunted as he pulled the doors open and marched straight towards the veteran’s table in the back of the room, where Nanaba, Gelgar, Mike, and Ness were already gathered. He grabbed a tray of food before dropping into an open seat next to Mike, Hange falling into the seat to his right.

“-She’s to thin I can’t believe she can even function-” Gelgar was in the middle of a rant when Nanaba smacked him in the back of the head.

“That’s no way to speak about her! God knows what she’s been through.” Nanaba’s voice was hushed and carried an edge of scolding on it as she spoke. Levi followed their gaze back to you, sitting between Jake and the red head, their shoulders brushing against yours as the three or you scarfed down the food. Directly across was the brunette, his eyes were dull and constantly roaming across the room, almost as if he was on look out duty.

“Come on Nan, look at the poor runt! I’m only speaking the truth.” Gelgar argued, your back was to them, jacket strewn across your lap, meaning that your spine could be seen, even from nearly across the room.

“Who’s going to want that responsibility? It’s like sending a lamb off to slaughter!” Gelgar continued and Mike gave a grunt in agreement.

“I’ll take her.” Levi’s voice surprised himself, the table fell quiet as they all stared at him in awe.

“What? Clearly she has some talent if she’s made it this far.” Levi grunted, lifting his tea to his lips in hopes of deterring more questions.

“How bold of you.” Hange said with a wide smile.

“Shut up shitty glasses.” He scoffed and stood, eager to find Erwin and request for the mangey runt to be in his mini squad.

Your feet kicked out in front of you, tapping harmlessly against Casper’s shins. You were eating slower than usual, feeling pressured by Jake and Carina on either side of you. Casper was dutifully keeping watch, something that he had done since you were children, the threat of loosing dinner to rabid street dogs or other children. The inner walls were only kind to those of status, you were examples of that. Casper and yourself had met on the streets and been inseparable ever since, picking up Jake and Carina in the cadet corps. Now you had a happy little family.

“What squad are you assigned to?” Jake prodded your boney ribs, spitting crumbs on you as he spoke.

“Erwin’s.” You answered, taking a chunk out of your own bread as well.

“Ahh for real? I’m with squad leader Hange.” Jake’s chest puffed out proudly and Casper rolled his eyes.

“I’m under Erwin as well.” He said, looking to Carina expectantly.

“I’m under Mike.” Carina said with her mug pressed to her lips.

“So we’ll be splitting up...” You said with a dark look on your face.

“Seems so.” Jake agreed in a light hearted manner.

“We’ll be okay.” Casper said to the group, but his eyes were locked on your own.

As it turned out, you weren’t exactly under Erwin Smith’s care. Instead you were standing in front of his prickly subordinate, shivering in the cool morning air.

“You lot will be working alongside me, when I say to do something I mean it. I don’t like repeating myself.” Levi paced up and down the row of cadets, only about five kids in total.

“You want to live, train hard and trust in your comrades.” He continued, pausing in front of a girl with blonde hair.

“Study the formations, keep your gear pristine, and care for your horse as if it was your own child.” Levi’s boots crunched on the gravel as he stopped in front of you. You were tense and your eyes were more alert than he remembered.

“Got it?” He growled and all the cadets nodded eagerly and gave him a flurry of ‘yes sirs’ .

“Yes sir.” He noticed how your jaw was locked and your shoulders were pulled back. Already he was seeing improvements.

“Good, let’s get started then.”

In the few months that you had to prepare for the expedition, you made slow progress. Putting on weight and muscle alike, all thanks to Levi. He often requested you to help him with his paper work and re shelving the books in the scout’s library. As a reward he would often gift you extra rations, you were grateful of course. But as the expedition neared it became obvious that he was not going to sign you off.

“-Captain I have to go, it wouldn’t be fair to my comrades! They need me!” You begged, hands splayed out on his desktop as he leaned back in his chair.

“Quit whining, I’m trying to spare your pathetic life.” Levi scoffed as he glared up at you.

“But sir, it’s not fair. It’s like you said, my life isn’t worth more than my comrades’.” You argued, surprised by your own stubbornness as you glowered at your superior.

“You’re right....but every human life is special in its own right. If you were to perish under my care....I’d never-”

“It’s part of the job. I signed up knowing the risks, I’m sure you did too. So....let me do what I signed up for.” Your voice mellowed out and you averted your eyes, embarrassed by the outburst.

“I won’t let you die out there. Sit this one out, work harder, gain some strength and then you can join us on the mission. If there’s one thing in this world that I hate more then filth, it would be a pointless death.” Levi rose to his feet and met your gaze once more. You couldn’t deny that you were weak, he was right, if you were to go out there now, you would surely perish.

“Fine, just this once.” Levi felt his heart float with relief, even if it was just one mission, it was still more time that he could spend on training you.

“Thank you, now get the fuck out of here.” He pointed at the door and you saluted him one last time before leaving him alone in his dimly lit office. He promised himself that he would do his best to prepare you, keep you safe, keep you alive. That was all he wanted, he knew that this was a dangerous wish, but he was determined to see it through, no matter what.

#levi squad #levi aot #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot fanfiction #hange zoe #erwin smith #levi x fem!reader #levi x reader insert #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #aot fandom

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vanderlindemangofarm · 4 years ago

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The Van der Linde Gang - Jobs in a Modern AU

I’ve been really inspired to write about this lately and I’d love to hear your takes! These are the occupations that I think each gang member would have in a modern AU. Some were more challenging than others, but hopefully you guys can see where I’m coming from with each!

Arthur: Film location scout. His natural eye for photography and framing makes Arthur the perfect member of a pre-production team. His no-bullshit approach to everything means he keeps to deadlines, although he’s known to go wandering off into the wilderness for unknown amounts of time. He enjoys the lone working side of his job and finding exactly the right spots that would make the film come to life. He doesn’t always like the films once they’re finished (in fact he’s often bought cinema tickets and walked out half way through, grumbling that it wasn’t worth the popcorn) but he can’t deny the excited buzz he gets every time he gets hired. In his early years as an assistant he met Bertie Mason, a nervous but talented photography intern. Despite an ill-advised hookup after a week joined at the hip they have remained close friends and still go out on shoots together.

John: landscape gardener. John? Flowers? Yes, alright, I found it hard to believe too. But look, it’s not about the flowers, even if he does get misty-eyed at the sight of a sunflower in the early morning light. It’s about the challenge, the outdoors, and solving problems. After all the renovations he did to his house and garden (some more successful than others) John found how much satisfaction he got from digging and reshaping and planting. Don’t get me wrong, he’s often without a shirt, even in the colder months, much to the delight of some and the horror of others. He always makes friends with the household pets and is wonderful with the kids, always dropping his task to throw a frisbee around for a bit or cheekily accept an ice cold glass of lemonade from their mothers. Whenever he drives past one of his projects he feels himself glowing with pride - “I did that!”.

Dutch: philosophy lecturer. As always, late with Starbucks. Will he actually grade your essay? Will it mysteriously disappear? Keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it? Sitting precariously on the very edge of his desk, leather jacket hanging off his shoulders and losing his balance every 15 minutes, Dr Van der Linde is nothing short of a wonder. For the love of all that is holy, do not get him started on Kant. Kant has no place here. You want to talk about your precious Kant? Get your butt down to Dr O’Driscoll’s class, he has plenty to say about Kant. Perhaps a little too fond of Socrates. Plato who? Completely illegible handwriting and definitely sleeping with several members of the faculty. But somehow his students always walk away with excellent grades. At the end of each term Dutch takes everyone out to a local bar for drinks, insists on buying tequila which no one really fancies at 11am. Claims to ride a motorcycle called The Count which no one has actually seen. Impossible to hate, and he writes everyone great references for their summer internships.

Hosea: social worker. In a crisis, there’s no one better to knock on your door. Hosea has seen it all and he’ll see it all again, but that doesn’t stop him from treating every single case he gets with the upmost respect and care. His no-nonsense approach to his work means he gets things done, but he never sacrifices his compassion. He mostly works with teenagers and has a way of being able to connect to each individual without coming across as patronising. He’s been in the field for over two decades and is an invaluable mentor for any newcomers, always willing to share a word or two of advice or be a shoulder to cry on.

Javier: guitar teacher and music therapist. During his worst years, Javier’s guitar was his lifeline. And he wants to help others find their lifeline, too. He works on a freelance basis, mainly going into mental health hospitals, schools and prisons. He runs workshops focusing on guitar playing, but brings other instruments (mainly percussion) to try too. He’s a gentle teacher, always with a joke in his back pocket for when you need it most. He has nicknames for everyone and remembers everything they’ve ever told him. He’s patient and never lets anyone feel bad for making a mistake. Javier also runs an after-school guitar club at the local middle school alongside playing his own music at gigs whenever he can. No, he doesn’t reply to DMs no matter how thirsty they are.

Sadie: self-defense instructor. After surviving an attack several years ago, Sadie used her ferocity to get her qualification in self-defense to teach other women how to fight back should they need to. Her husband Jake helps out in her classes, happily allowing himself to be thrown around and slammed onto the mat as many times as required. Her students are terrified of her in the best and nicest way. Sadie also volunteers at a women’s refuge, providing emergency care and taking phone calls.

Charles: environmental campaign manager. Charles has always been drawn to charities and started doing voluntary work for Greenpeace when he was at university, securing an internship with them in Canada which led to a full time job. Whilst Charles mainly hosts meetings and organises events, he also works closely with elementary schools and runs workshops with outdoor activities, crafts and music. Last week they made bird feeders! It was awesome. He’s also a keen activist and regularly meets up with Javier to go to protests and community events, most recently for BLM.

Micah: motorcycle mechanic. Micah is massively invested in motorcycle culture and treats his beloved bike better than his own mother, if he still spoke to her. Although he pretends not to care, fixing bikes is his greatest passion and almost looks...happy when he’s doing it? Maybe? He likes knowing more than the people who stop by his shop and makes sure they know it. Occasionally he leaves his number on a scrap of paper inside women’s handbags when they’re not looking but for some reason none of them call. Like it or not, he’s incredibly skilled and will have your motorcycle singing a tune if that’s what you want. Euphemism? Of course not.

Abigail: nurse. She was so shy when she realised she wanted to pursue nursing - would people laugh at her? Was she too impatient, too nagging, too shrill? Her dyslexia always put her off going into further education and she was always discouraged by her parents. But with lots of encouragement from Hosea (who helped her to fill out her applications and other forms) and her friends, Abigail went to university in her 30′s to get her degree. She graduated top of her class and now works full time in her local hospital, based mostly in the emergency room. From drunken brawlers to tearful children and grumpy old men with lumbago, Abigail has learnt to keep her cool and to have faith in her own ability.

Molly: holistic therapist and masseuse. It took years to get that bastard of a philosopher out of her head (and out of her bed - damn those happy hour drinks “for old times’ sake”), but she’s finally free. Molly radiates a kindness that few took to the time to see, and she wanted to take strength from her past struggles to help others who may need someone to listen, just as she did. Molly took a bunch of online courses in various holistic therapies, including aromatherapy and massage, as this was something she had always been interested in. She runs a tiny clinic on a quiet street, the rooms filled with sunshine and the scent of geraniums. She also has a quite popular ASMR YouTube channel, Emerald Eyes ASMR, which she shyly admits just reached 500k subscribers. Her most popular video, ‘Irish Girl Helps You Fall Asleep (soft spoken, tapping, mouth sounds)’ just reached over a million hits.

Kieran: veterinarian specialising in equine care. Much like Abigail, Kieran didn’t like the idea of going back into education. He’d had a rough time of it as a teenager, dropping out of high school early and working a string of menial jobs for the next decade. They paid his rent, but he still felt poor. His favourite job, however, was working at a stable. The horses made him feel calm and he found that he could read them better than most people. He went to the library and read as much as he could about them. From there, he got himself an apprenticeship which paved the way for him to earn his degree in veterinary science. He smiled so hard in his graduation photo his eyes disappeared into his cheeks. He travels all over the local countryside, visiting farms and ranches to care for the horses. His confidence picked up after the first few blunders, and little by little he’s saving up to buy his own ranch one day.

Lenny: political science student. You know that kid who always looks amazing, even in 9am lectures? Yeah, that’s not Lenny, but he’s sat just behind. See him? Yep, the one rubbing sleep from his eyes as he pushes through the effects of another all-nighter. It’s not due to procrastination, but from perfectionism. He spends hour agonising over references, appendixes and even titles. One time he was so tired he signed his work “Ynnel”. He’s completely in love with his course and relishes every class he takes. Oh, he’s taking Dutch’s ‘History of Western Philosophy’ module by the way. Sitting in the front row, middle seat, directly in front of Dutch, his eyes glinting wickedly. Poor Dutch. Lenny has a counterpoint for absolutely everything and can barely stifle his laughter as Dutch gets more and more flustered. He’s been dating Jenny Kirk, an English Lit student, for the past few months and it’s going well. So well in fact, that he might stop hiding his Doctor Who merchandise every time she comes to his dorm room.

Tilly: business student. Tilly started university at the same time as Lenny and they still always go to the library together, rolling their eyes at each other over their morning peppermint lattes. Tilly is at the forefront of any and all on-campus activism. Think of Sam from Dear White People - that’s our Tilly. She wears her Ravenclaw scarf all autumn and winter long and posts scathing Instagram stories about the cafeteria food. But she’s powerfully kind and very ambitious, taking on a part time job tutoring kids with dyslexia in their reading and writing.

Susan: midwife. Think having a baby is scary? Try crossing Nurse Grimshaw. She’s here now, and that baby is coming out of you one way or another. She’ll hold your hand through thick and thin but if you dare say “I can’t do it” one more time she’ll unleash hell. Susan will make sure everyone has a job to do. Partner just standing there like a lemon? Not on her watch. She’s harsh but kind to her trainees and will always offer a cup of coffee and a shoulder to cry on, but there’s a time and place for slacking and it’s not on her labour ward.

Trelawny: talent agent. Our Josiah is cunning, infuriatingly charismatic and with an eye for the best of the best - what else could he do so effortlessly? He’ll wrangle you a 10 second role as a latrine cleaner in a non-profit film and he’ll still make you feel like the next DiCaprio. You’re a diamond, don’t you know? Of course you could nab Elphaba, we’ll worry about the singing later. How do you feel about cat food commercials? No no, it’s not pornography, it really is cat food this time - he double checked. On top of this, he knows everyone in the business. No, really. He can’t move 3 feet down Broadway without someone booming his name. The tone of said boom depends, of course, but who hasn’t been caught with his bottom out in that director’s wife’s en-suite?

Sean: outdoor activity centre instructor. You mean you can actually get paid to swim in lakes, ride ziplines through the forest and eat roasted marshmallows?! Sean couldn’t believe his ears. But it was true, and he’s living his best life. He may be on his penultimate warning for unruly behaviour, but he knows he could never really get fired. How could they? Everyone loves him. And to his credit, he’s a fantastic instructor, especially with kids. Everything from canoeing to caving, wild swimming to climbing, Sean has mastered it all and he always makes it fun. No one is allowed to feel left out or silly for not being able to do something. Sean has a way of making everyone feel included, even if you can only make it up the first few rungs of the ladder. Hey, that’s still off the ground! He once knew this feller Bill who cried because a moth flew into his face. You’re doing fine.

Mary-Beth: librarian and YA author. Sweet Mary-Beth, how could she be anywhere else but surrounded by books? She adores her job at her small, local library and is always looking for ways to make it even better. She often gets tangled up in the stories she reads whilst organising shelves, but it’s quiet enough most days that she’s rarely caught. She loves helping people find their books or recommending her favourites. She also runs the toddler storytime groups and a writing club for older kids. Of course, she’s also writing her own books. The first of her ‘Valentine Mysteries’ books made a modest profit and she’s excited to write more about the adventures of Leslie Dupont.

Karen: actress. Realising that she had a knack for accents and even after an especially successful high school lead role as Roxy Hart, Karen didn’t really acknowledge her would-be passion for acting for a long time. But she used her talents to get herself and her friends into X-rated films, dive bars and successfully pull off dozens of prank calls. It wasn’t until one of her friends was going to an open-call audition for a short film and wanted someone to go with her that Karen had her epithany. She was cast on the spot, much to the dismay of her friend. Since then, she’s been in a handful of arthouse films, a commercial here and there, and recently enjoyed a short run as Hermia in A Midsummer Night’s Dream at a small theatre downtown. Does she want fame and fortune? Honestly, she hasn’t really thought about it. Right now, she’s just enjoying the ride. And the phone numbers left for her at front of house from many admirers.

Strauss: financial loan adviser. Oh boy, perhaps you saw this one coming. Then again, maybe not. Old Leopold isn’t quite the two-pronged-tongued eldritch horror people often mistake him for. In fact, he actually advises people against loan sharks. He had his fair share of debts y’see and he genuinely doesn’t want anyone else to go through the same thing. He’s not exactly sweet and cuddly, but he might let you have a free pen if you call by his office. I mean, technically they’re not free but...never mind, just take it.

Bill: plumber. It was purely accidental that Bill bashed his way into his career. No, really. His sink was blocked and after an hour of poking and prodding the pipes he started hitting the poor thing with a spanner out of pure frustration, cursing all the way. To his shock, it worked, and he suddenly had running water again. What shocked him more is that he realised he wanted to know how. So, he bought a book. And he read the book. And one thing led to another, and now he’s the proud owner of Williamson Plumbing Inc. The money is very good, but for Bill that’s not it. You have to understand that for him, it’s the act itself of fixing something that brings Bill immense satisfaction. And Bill isn’t used to knowing more about something - anything - than those around him. For the first time perhaps in his life, he can sit down, solve a problem, and know that he’s done a good job.

Swanson: AA group leader. After getting completely sober almost a decade ago and staying that way, Orville wanted to give something back to the people who had helped him out so greatly. Becoming a volunteer to help those who were trapped where he was seemed like the only path, and it felt so right. Orville is there in meetings, making coffee, handing out donuts and training new volunteers. If anyone wants to talk about their faith he’s all ears, but he never pushes it as a cure-all in any situation. Orville’s sobriety has also meant that he’s learnt to make the most phenomenal mocktails.

Pearson: grocery shop manager and cooking teacher. Simon has his small grocery shop on the edge of town which has a wide range of regular customers. But he wanted to do more, so he set up a small class to teach fellow veterans how to cook. His wife helps out, and they grow the ingredients together in their garden and down at the allotment. It’s just an therapeutic for him as it is for his students, as he’s only just realising how much he wants to talk about his time in the navy.

Uncle: unknown. For the longest time, everyone thought Uncle worked at one of the worst dive bars in town, as whenever they stumbled in for a nightcap he was there, behind the bar, happy as a pig in shit. Turns out that he just started going there one night and no one could get him to leave. And so every evening he’ll appear like a phantom, sit himself in the half-broken chair behind the bar (clearly labelled “not for customer use”), order the cheapest beer on the menu and sit there until midnight. No one can understand how he gets the means to live as he ragingly denies receiving any government handouts despite his lumbago. Claims to be a veteran but hasn’t fought in any wars anyone has heard of.

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amyscascadingtabs · 4 years ago

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expecto patronum

Post-The Fugitive. Jake and Amy talk Harry Potter, patronuses, and love.

✨read on ao3 ✨

“Hey, babe, I’m home!”

The door makes a distinctive clicking noise behind Jake as he locks it. It’s only one of the many sounds he’s getting used to; his new home is full of them, and they’ve become much more noticeable now that he’s here every day. He’s known his way around this apartment for a long time, but living there, permanently, is different. It’s a good kind of different, though.

“In here!” Amy shouts from her – from their – bedroom, and Jake hurries to hang up his jacket and bag before going to greet his girlfriend.

He’s coming home late tonight. A questioning at work dragged over after a surprise confession, and as exciting as those are, Jake’s bitter over missing dinner and Property Brothers with Amy. He half hadn't expected her to be awake still, but once he was finally free to text her that he was on his way home, she replied straight away to tell him she'd be waiting. Rosa had teased him about how wide he’d been smiling, but Jake hadn’t found it in him to care.

Amy’s laying on her stomach in bed with a thick book leaned against the pillow, resting her chin against one hand as she reads and holding up the cover with her other. Jake recognizes the book; it’s Prisoner of Azkaban, the third book in the Harry Potter series. He was reading it himself a few weeks ago.

“Ah, Harry Potter. Good choice.”

Amy closes the book against her index finger and looks up at him. “Yeah, you inspired me. How was work?”

“We got a confession,” he grins. “It was dope. Guy just started rambling, pretty much told us his whole life story for some reason, and now we have him. I even got to call the victim’s mom, tell her the news.”

“Sounds like a good day, then.”

“Yeah. Missed seeing you, though.”

“You see me all the time, babe. We live and work together.”

“I know, so it makes me feel even weirder when I don't!”

Amy laughs, letting out that adorable chortling sound he only ever hears when they're alone. Then she looks back to her book, scooching closer to her preferred side of the bed, and Jake takes that as an instruction to change into pajamas so he can join her.

Any regular night, he would probably have taken time to shower and brush his teeth first, but it's been a long day. He simply undresses instead, smirking as he notices Amy’s subtle side glance when he takes off his shirt. This, these small moments of appreciation between them, is yet another one of the parts he loves most about sharing a life with her – it’s nearly midnight, he’s exhausted and he remembers Amy mentioning starting her period, so sex is almost guaranteed to be off the table – but she still makes him feel attractive, makes him feel confident and wanted. He never realized how much that being an equal exchange meant to him before their relationship.

“So,” he asks her, “where are you up to in the book, then?”

“Almost finished the whole thing,” she says, looking very proud of herself. “I’m at the time-turner chapter. Harry thinks he saw his dad cast a patronus from the other side of the lake, but then he realizes just saw himself.”

“Man, that part was so sad.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah!” Jake huffs, crawling underneath the covers. “I just… felt for him, you know? He wishes he could meet his parents, just once, even if he knows it's impossible. He wants this family he never had.”

“It makes you realize how in the end, he's just a kid. A brave kid, but a kid.”

“A kid in desperate need of therapy.”

“Amen,” says Amy, flipping a page. “Hogwarts mental health services do seem to be severely lacking. Did you know the dementors were inspired by the author’s own experiences with depression, by the way?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Dark creatures with the power to bring out all the worst memories in your head, making you feel like you’ll never be happy again. Like you can’t even remember what it’s like. And the only way to defeat them is to hold onto the very happiest moments of your life and create a shield out of them.”

“Kind of deep for a kid's book,” Jake reflects, and Amy nods.

“Maybe. But it's not pushed on them, either. It's a way for them to understand, without knowing that they're understanding. I always loved that about the Harry Potter books,” she says, a sudden dreamy look in her eyes. “They're just… intelligent.”

Jake means to agree with her, but then his body remembers he's been at work for the entire day, and out comes an embarrassingly big yawn that makes Amy laugh.

“Long day? I can read to you if you want.”

“Dreamgirl,” he mumbles. Amy rolls her eyes, but then she reaches out to pull him closer, her left hand running through his hair as she holds the book with her right, and he can see her smiling.

Jake's not sure how long she's reading for. He loses track of time, but frankly, he doesn’t mind. Amy's reading voice is low, peaceful enough to relax him but varied enough to entice him at the same time. Her fingers keep brushing through his curls as she reads, tracing soft circles on his scalp. He listens to her read the part where Harry and Hermione fly on Buckbeak to rescue Sirius, and it doesn't matter that he read the book himself just a few weeks ago, because he could listen to her voice forever.

He gets to do that now, he realizes, because they live together now. It may only have been a week, and not completely without its challenges, but it already feels like one of the best decisions of his life. Even though they were spending almost every night together before as well, there’s something special about coming home and Amy already being there. Not because they’ve made specific plans for her to be, but because that’s the norm, because home is the same place for the two of them now. There’s something intimate about getting to share a routine with her, working out a system for who gets the bathroom when in the morning, adding stuff onto the same grocery list. Even seeing his t-shirts next to hers in the dresser puts a smile on his face in the morning. It feels grown-up, and it feels stable, and it feels right.

He wonders sometimes if he could have imagined this the night she knocked on his door to tell him screw light and breezy. Honestly, he probably could have, even if he was too proud to admit it to himself in the beginning. But after a year and a half of dating, of which six excruciating months were spent apart (and hopefully no more will ever be, he thinks), Jake couldn’t care less about pride. He loves Amy Santiago, and he wants to spend all the time he can with her, give her everything and share his life with her for as long as she’ll let him. That, if anything, makes him proud. In any case, it’s like he said that first night undercover as Johnny and Dora – there’s really no one else’s opinion he cares about more than hers.

Amy finishes the chapter, reaching for a bookmark before putting the book on her nightstand.

“There,” she laughs. “That’s your goodnight story.”

“Mm, one more chapter.”

“Mm, no. It’s late, babe.”

“I have a question,” he says then, knowing it’ll garner her attention and give him some more treasured quality time before they really have to go to sleep. Amy raises an eyebrow and shakes her head lovingly at him, but then she nods. “Harry’s patronus is a stag, right? Like his dad’s animagus form. And in the fifth book, Hermione has an otter, and Ron some kind of dog.”

“A Jack Russell terrier. Yeah, why?”

“How is your patronus determined? Like… how does it know?”

“It’s supposed to reflect your innermost personality,” she answers, not missing a beat. “It represents something about you that makes you who you are. Something that gives you strength, I would say. So for Harry, that would be the thought of his parents fighting for him.”

“I like that,” Jake says. “A lot of things in that universe are just grossly poetic though, aren't they?”

This makes Amy chuckle. “Very true.”

“What do you think yours would be?”

“Oh. Hmm.” She presses her lips together. “I don't know. What do you think?”

“We could find out,” He grins, reaching for his phone. “I’m sure there's a BuzzFeed quiz.”

He's right – and although Amy rolls her eyes at him at first, they end up having a laugh at the quiz, picking the options they think best suit the other one and shrugging when the results suggest Amy’s would be a horse, and Jake’s a stag.

“The descriptions are pretty accurate, though,” Amy says, reading from Jake’s phone. “Brave and fearless, and your greatest asset is your ability to love. Sometimes you get a bit hot-headed and impatient –” Jake fake-gasps. “– but your friends are your source of peace, getting you through the good and bad.”

“I still think it should be a ninja turtle,” he mutters. “But yours is true, too. Loyal, smart, underrated badass.”

“It just gave us the same patronuses as Harry and Ginny.” Amy smiles. “They do get together later, so I guess that works.”

“Spoilers! I haven’t gotten to that part yet!”

“Oh, come on, it’s really obvious.” She kisses the pouting grimace off of his face. “Different question. What memory would you use to cast your patronus?”

“I have thought about that,” he confesses, blushing. “It’s a three-way tie. The first time you told me you loved me. That evening when you stood outside my door and told me you wanted to be with me, for reals. Maybe even our first date, after the bet. All of those, together… I think they’d make a damn good patronus.”

“Wow.” Amy almost looks taken aback, like she wasn’t expecting that moment of sincerity. “I’m surprised you didn’t just say the first time we had sex or something.”

“Would you have wanted me to say that? Wait, is that yours? Santiago –”

“Oh my god, obviously not –”

“Obviously? Wow, hurtful, much –”

“Just let me finish!”

“Title of –”

“Stop!” Amy’s shaking with laughter, holding her hand on top of his mouth just for a second. “Stop, stop. What I meant to say was that it’s the same for me. That’s what I’d think of, too.”

“Even the bet? Even though you lost?”

“Yes, babe. Even though I lost.”

“So it wouldn’t be the first time we had sex, then.”

She smirks. “We’ve had better since.”

Then she leans over him, and her lips are on his, insistent but soft at once. His heartbeat’s speeding by the time she pulls away, and it satisfies him to see that her face is a little flushed, too.

“For the record,” Jake mumbles as she rests her head on his chest after, “this, right here – would also work for a damn good patronus.”

“Oh, yeah. No dementor would stand a chance.”

“Mm. You’re a nerd, but I love you.”

“I love you, too. Goodnight, babe.”

“Goodnight,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around her and allowing himself a brief moment to revel in the feeling that’s started growing in him recently.

Forever, this could be forever.

#my writing #b99 #brooklyn nine-nine #peraltiago #jake x amy #b99 fic #jake x amy fanfiction #peraltiago fanfiction #this is so self-indulgent wow #harry potter

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all-of-the-imagines-for-eve · 5 years ago

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Stressed and In Love ~ Paul Lahote

A/n: REQUESTS!!! MAKE ME SO HAPPY!!!

Request: "My god, I had this idea and now I’m hoping I can live it though your amazing writing! So Bella’s sister tries to talk Bella out of going to Italy to save Edward, when she failed she stayed with Jake so she wouldn’t have to be alone till Charlie came home from work. Jake took her to hang out at Sam’s and Emily’s with the pack, trying to comfort her about losing her sister. When they get there Paul imprints on her and it’s like supper cute and stuff ? This was super long but feel free to ignore!🥰" by @sweetkiitty

A/n: As promised! Sorry again that I took a while. I really do appreciate your guys' requests so much I'm just hyper fixiated on something else right now. Thanks also for your patience, and the love that last Embry request got! Love you guys :)

Word Count: 2500+

MASTERLIST

"BELLA DON'T!" The panicked, desperate words came not from the best friend that had fallen in love with her, but the sister who had cared about Bella far longer on a far deeper level. When Jacob had failed to convince her even after he pulled each and every string he knew, Y/n stepped in to give it a shot.

Bella's expression remained constant. Grim and guilty, but also a little panicked. "I have to." She struggled to find some way to explain it but came up with nothing.

"You have a life here," Y/n insisted. "Someone who loves you and will treat you better than a guy who's bred to kill you. You're food to him!"

Bella stepped away from me. "You don't know what you're talking about."

Y/n grunted in frustration. "He left you! Without hesitation. You told me he didn't care for you, and now you're going to prime vampire central because he's put himself in danger? Come on Bella!"

She shook her head. "He's doing it because he thinks I'm dead."

"He's doing it because he's a drama queen who's overly obsessed with you in the most creepy way possible!" Y/n argued.

Bella ripped away from her. "One day you'll understand."

Y/n felt her loss and stepped away, her eyes watering. "I hope I never end up like you, Bells. The way you guys cannot survive without each other... it's toxic."

Lost on what to say, Bella got in the car, leaving Y/n and Jacob to simply watch it vanish in the distance around a corner. When she was really gone, Jacob broke. Soft sobs came from him as he turned away, trying to hide his face. Y/n, completely understanding, moved to him. It was easy to forget when he was there taking up her attention. She rubbed his back until she got him to open up to her. He finally scooped her up in a hug, burying his face in her neck.

Y/n and Jacob were the same age. They didn't go to school together, but with their dads being so close, had been friends for ages. When Y/n had chosen to stay with Charlie and Bella with Renee, Y/n had quickly taken Bella's place as Jacob's best friend. They had both depended on each other for a long time, finding solace in each other away from everyone else. When Embry left, Jake came to Y/n. When he had a crush on Bella and she got with Edward, he came to Y/n. When Bella had decided to stay with their mom and Y/n had stayed with their dad and that meant that the two girls wouldn't see each other anymore, Y/n went to Jake. When her first boyfriend didn't show up to her first dance and stood her up, Jake had gotten dressed up and gone with her instead.

It only made sense that as Bella rode to her probable death for an asshole that was throwing a fit after HE left HER - rightly so might I add - Jake and Y/n spent the night together, cuddling and comforting.

Charlie wasn't going to be home for hours and they hated empty, silent houses, so they headed to Jake's instead. They stayed silent as Jake drove, moving inside with the same quiet. "Do you mind if we make a stop by Emily's? She's really good at comforting?"

Y/n was plenty aware of what Jake was. Y/n had actually found out even before Jake knew when she'd confronted Embry about hurting him and things had gone super south when she'd set him off. Thank god Sam was there to intervene. It had been a relief to be able to comfort Jacob when he'd turned too, even though she'd been secretly hoping he wouldn't.

"Of course." It was less that he thought she wouldn't want to go to Emily's and more that he was asking if it was okay to be around other people. Y/n had never met any of the other pack members. She did adore Emily though, so she didn't mind. It was nice to know Jake had more people who were much closer to go to for comfort, other than her and Bella.

There was a rule at Emily's: if you heard talking, come in. Jake knew how awkward I was about just walking into new people's houses though, so he knocked.

Emily answered, smiling with greeting and confusion when she saw it was Jake. "Why did you knock?" Jake motioned to me and her eyes moved. She nodded, her smile growing. "I see! And who is this?"

"I'm Y/n Swan," Y/n greeted, holding out her hand.

Emily rolled her eyes, amused instead of annoyed. She pulled Y/n into a hug and it was strong and warm and Y/n felt like nothing could ever bother her again. No wonder Sam had fallen for her. No wonder this had been Jake's default place to go for comfort. Emily radiated a motherly, safe energy like no one else Y/n knew did. "Now come in. I can make you some food. You hungry?"

Y/n giggled as she was pulled from Jake and into the house, her previous companion closing the door behind the two women. "Y/n!" Embry cheered, standing and jogging to her to envelope her in a hug. Embry had become as much of a brother to Y/n as Jake was. She melted into him and he seemed to sense her need of a pick-me-up. So he did just that. He picked her up, right off of her feet, and spun around. She squealed, cinching tightly to his body to stable herself.

They were both laughing when he set her down. She shot a wide eyed look at Jake, who busted up as well. Emily made a comment about being careful and not breaking anything, but it was lost as Y/n looked around to take in everyone else. See if she knew anybody else.

She did not.

However, her eyes seemed to graze over everyone else just to race to the moment when her gaze net his.

He was a little shorter than Embry. A little more muscled. He had a smile that made her a little nervous, a mix of curiosity and a little danger in his expression. His hair was just as dark as everyone else's, but favored a short hair style like Jake's rather than a little long and wavy like Quil's or Embry's. He was looking directly at Y/n, as if waiting for her to look back. And when she did, both of their breaths caught.

His face went blank and his skin seemed to go an odd color, like he was motion sick or something. His body relaxed. His grip on the fork in his hand loosened and fell onto the glass plate underneath, making a very loud clatter that made Y/n jump.

Everyone looked over at him. "You okay over there, man?" one of the other people Y/n didn't know asked.

Jake nudged her as Embry finally let her go. She managed to tear my eyes away from the boy - who was really pretty and overall nice to look at and also shirtless dear god why were they always shirtless - and look over at Jake as he began speaking. "So, let me introduce you to the gang. Embry, Sam, and Quil you know. Then we have Leah and Seth, the Clearwaters. You remember me mentioning them?" Y/n nodded wordlessly. "Jared is the one next to Seth." They all waved as their names were said, Leah settling on just looking over and then away. "And then there's Paul."

Looking back at him loosened Y/n's chest. She hadn't realized that it was squeezing when she'd looked away, but the relief now was indistinguishable. "Hi." She meant the word to be smooth and clear, but came out as a kind of choked off squeak.

Paul... blushed. Someone laughed and then everyone's eyes went wide and I felt like I was suddenly on the outside of a conversation I'd missed the beginning of. Someone else made a noise that was obviously a laugh being masked as a laugh. Everyone was smirking. Except Leah. She rolled her eyes and looked away.

"Hey," he finally managed. The room grew quiet, which was very unnatural for this group of people especially. Awkwardness and tension settled in as Paul and Y/n held eye contact for a whole minute.

"Okay," Embry sighed rather heavily. "Seth, move over and let Y/n sit down." Seth giggled before doing just that. Jake didn't help as I shot him a pleading look- Embry had begun moving me to the mow empty chair. He sat me down and I was burning with how close I was to the very pretty man who was still staring at me.

Everyone turned away, forcing sudden conversation that didn't include me or Paul. What was going on, and why did it suddenly feel like I was being set up for something? There was something in the back of my brain, just out of my reach. Something I wasn't really remembering. Something that would make this make sense. Jake had told me all about the wolves and what had happened. What was I missing?

I'm kind of disappointed, you know? But I guess it was more lucky that I didn't imprint on Bella than anything.

Imprint.

Oh god.

Y/n looked at him, feeling her heart beginning to race. "I-" He had finally looked at her as she spoke, food forgotten but obviously searching for something to say to her. Was this shyness usual for him? How were they ever supposed to get along if both of them were quiet and awkward? Y/n stood, her mind racing, and booked it around the other boys and out the door. Her arms crossed over her chest as she began walking home like the total idiot she was.

Behind her, the door closed. Then slammed open again. "Y/n! Y/n wait!" She turned as Paul caught up to her, almost slamming into her. The two were far too close but neither of them could gather the self control to move away. "I- You- I have to-" He grunted as he struggled to say anything.

She swallowed. "You imprinted on me." Paul looked up, surprised. "Jake told me all about you guys, when he turned and then Sam told him I knew. He tells me everything."

Paul nodded then took a second to think. "I know it's kind of sudden and stuff-"

Y/n barked a short laugh that made Paul frown nervously. "Ten minutes ago I was losing my mind as my sister drove off to go after a fucking leech. A monster from nightmares born to kill her, and a toxic boy who watches her when she sleeps and is emotionally demanding and exhausting. Ten minutes ago, my world was destroyed as I watched helplessly as the person who used to be my mom became more like my child after that same asshole ditched her and left her comatose for MONTHS and completely broken after she finally became responsive... That's been my life for- for forever. Bella. Taking care of her and making sure she's alive. And suddenly you're here and I'm supposed to forget how she's probably terrified and in danger and going to die tonight, all because a really pretty boy looked at me and his wolf shit kicked in and now I'm his or whatever."

It was silent for a very long time. "You're not mine, Y/n." He moved even closer, his hand raising to brush her cheek softly. "I'm yours." She swallowed. That was so much responsibility... "And yeah, it's a lot to handle in a short amount of time. I can't imagine- god I don't know how you and Jake don't lock her to her bed and kill that leech yourselves. How you can watch it and deal with it. I wouldn't blame you if you did, even though it's against the treaty or whatever." He rolled his eyes. "But the great thing about being my imprint is now you have me 24/7. If you're upset or in danger or just need someone to try a new dish you've cooked or someone to rant to or someone to sit down and binge watch a show with you so you can have someone to rant about it with, I'm your man. And as long as I'm not out there fighting someone or Sam doesn't need me for something just as important, I'm instantly available. No more coordinating with Jake and balancing with distance. I'm there and I move fast, so it doesn't matter where you are, I'm now with you." His hands moved awkwardly through the air, his words earnest.

Someone to be by my side... No matter what day or time or distance... Well, within reason.

"Wow," Y/n whispered. "That's a lot of work for you." Suddenly her heart was racing again. "I'm really hyper once you get to know me. I never stop talking. I'll bug you constantly, I really will-"

"Good," Paul interrupted. Both of them were getting excited. They were even closer now, as close two people can be without having to cross their eyes to see each other. "Any reason to be around you as often as possible. I'll take it."

Y/n licked her lips. "I know I said that I have a lot going on... but you're really pretty and very close and I kind of really want to kiss you."

Paul laughed. "Thank god." The hand that was on her face earlier moved to cup her cheek, the other hand gripping her waist. It started hesitant and soft but the second their lips touched, the kiss grew hard and his grip became rough and desperate. He pulled her to him and she was knocked breathless. Her fingers wrapped around the back of his neck, slipping up to lightly grip the short strand of his hair. The kiss broke to allow him to gasp, sucking air in sharply with rhythm to the light tugs.

"Holy shit." They finally parted, giddy smiles on their faces and a shared sort of lightness in their bodies. "Do that again."

Paul grinned. "How about for now-" Y/n popped up on her tiptoes, quickly pressing her lips to his again. He jerked forward, deepening the kiss instantly. He grunted, pushing her back for a second, blinking to clear his mind. "I want to do that. A lot. But uh-" he inhaled deeply and then exhaled again, trying to stabilize himself. "You make me very nervous and I'm super not used to that. How about some food?"

Y/n's smile was soft and sweet and warm and beautiful. She'd loved hearing about imprints and kind of had wanted Embry to imprint on her. When he hadn't, she'd moved on from the idea and been perfectly fine with just chilling instead. But now... she was kind of overexcited at the prospect of being handed someone she knew would be good for her.

They were both excited about it.

The most fun would be learning WHY they were good together, though.

And they were excited for that too.

Forever Tag List: @bitchyseawitch @alexa-playafricabytoto @chipster-21 @captainxmikaelson @justanotherdaydreamersoul

#paul lahote #twilight #new moon #twilight imagine #wolf pack #wolf pack imagine #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader

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lowkeyleaffan · 4 years ago

Text

Doctors Orders - Morgan Rielly part 4

A/N: here’s part 4!

Words: 1870

Warnings: mentions of sex, and implied sex.

Saturday Nov 30

You and Morgan had been getting closer as the weeks go on. Any time the boys are home the two of you would go on dates or hang out at one of your apartments. The two of you were pretty much a couple, kissing each other hello and goodbye, late night phone calls, talking all day every day and well you were exclusive, just he hasn’t asked you to be his girlfriend.

You had fallen into normal routine with Morgan for game days. As long as you didn’t work day shifts he would come over, you would take a nap together, then you’d make a pregame meal while you make your ‘lunch’ for the shift, once you ate he’d be off for the game and you’d be off to work.

That’s how you ended up here today. Morgan sitting at the counter as you slide over a plate of food before you get one for yourself and sit down.

“I just don’t understand why you can’t tell Jake you’re taking her to the game, I can get you tickets babe.” Morgan says and you sigh.

You were arguing about how you have to watch your niece tonight. You never actually said you couldn’t go to the games because you were going. Jake asked you to watch Luna at the game because Country is working.

“Mo, it’s not that simple.” You say giggling as he makes a face.

“Okay but it’s your day off and you’ve never seen me play live.” He says almost whining and you can’t help but laugh.

“I’ve been to games before Morgan.” You say

“Not since we got together.” He says as he starts to eat.

“Maybe next game.” You say before you start to eat.

“You keep saying that.” He says signing and you smirk.

“I’ll make it up to you after the game.” You say winking before he just shakes his head laughing as he continues to eat.

After you eat Morgan quickly does the dishes despite you saying you’ll do it. As soon as he’s done he goes and changes into the suit he keeps in your apartment for days he doesn’t want to go back to his place before going to the arena. You meet him at the door before you give him a kiss.

“I was thinking burrito bowls after the game.” He says as he puts his shoes on and you nod.

“That’s fine with me, just get me a small one though.” You say as he pulls you into a hug.

“Want your regular though?” He asks and you nod as look up at him.

He leans down and gives you a kiss before you smile and step back.

“Kick some ass tonight.” You say and he laughs.

“I’ll try.” He says as he grabs his keys and opens the door “BYE LEAH!”

“GOOD LUCK MO!” Leah yells out before Morgan leaves.

As soon as he leaves you hurry to your room and get changed before you into jeans and Muzzin jersey. Country stopped by shortly after Morgan left to drop Luna off. She thanked you again for taking her tonight and left. Around 6:45 you, Leah and Luna leave the apartment and head to the arena.

The three of you get to the arena at about 7:15 and go right to your seats. You had Luna on your lap trying to keep her entertained until the game started which thankfully wasn’t long after you arrived and got drinks.

The game was a close with it going to overtime. John ended that quickly giving the leafs the win. Leah had gone to the car and to call Carter so you took Luna down to the friends and family section. Luna has fallen asleep on your shoulder while you waited for Jake to come out, not that you minded at all. You looked up when you heard footsteps and your eyes met Alex’s. He walked over to you and smiled.

“Morgan didn’t say tell me you were coming.” He says “it’s nice to officially meet you.”

“Um actually. Morgan doesn’t know I’m here.” You say which makes Alex smile drop.

“Then how are you in the friend and family section?” He asks, clearly confused.

“um, I’m here for-” You started before you got cut off.

“Y/N!” You hear Jake say as he makes his way over to you.

Jake takes Luna from your arms carefully before he smiles at Alex.

“I see you’ve met Alex already.” He says and you nod “Alex this is my little sister, Y/N.”

“You’re little sister?” You hear Morgan ask and you close your eyes tight at the tone of his voice.

When you open them you see he’s standing beside Alex staring at you. He looked really hot with his wet hair, clearly fresh out of the shower but pissed off and upset.

“Yup, meet Doctor Muzzin.” Jake says grinning proudly.

“Nice to meet you.” You say softly and he just nods.

You can tell he’s upset and honestly it hurts you. You didn’t want to hurt him and knowing you are is killing you.

“Y/N are you coming out with us?” Jake asks and you shake your head.

“I’m pretty tired.” You say and Jake nods before looking at Morgan.

“Are you still going over to your girls place?” Jake ask him and you cringe.

“I’m supposed to.” Morgan says looking at Jake than to you.

“Jake, I gotta get going Leah’s at the car.” You say as you hear Tyson’s voice.

“Y/N?” He asks as you silently curse.

“Tys you know my sister?” Jake asks.

“Sister? I met her when Morgan-” Tyson was cut off by Alex punching him “dude what the fuck?”

“I ran into Tyson well getting coffee last week.” You say and we’ll it isn’t a lie, it’s not how you first met him.

“That’s not where we-” Tyson was cut off again but Alex slapping his hand over his mouth.

“It was nice meeting you Y/N, but Tyson and I have to go.” Alex says before he drags Tyson away leaving you alone with Morgan and Jake.

“Well I gotta get going, I told Y/N I’d pick food up before going over.” He says before Jake nods and you feel bad.

“I still think it’s funny you’re seeing someone named Y/N and Y/N is seeing someone named Morgan.” Jake says laughing and Morgan shoots him a look and goes to say something but you cut him off.

“Y/N and Morgan are common names. I gotta go! Bye Jake. Nice meeting you Morgan.” You say quickly before you hurry down the hall and to the car.

The second you got in the car you phone dinged. Sighing, you pull it out knowing it’s Morgan.

From Mo: I’m still coming over.

You just shut your phone off and look out the window until Leah parks the car.

“I’m staying at Cs tonight.” She says and you nod before you get out and head upstairs.

You get into your apartment and put on a pair of pj shorts and one of Morgan’s sweaters he left here last week before you walk into the living room. The second I enter the room there was a knock on the door. Sighing you go open the door and Morgan walks in with a bag in his hand. He kicks his shoes off and instantly goes to the kitchen without saying anything. He sets the bag down before he washes his hand and sits down on a stool before he pulls out two burrito bowls and puts one across from him as you walk over slowly. He starts to eat without looking at you and it’s starting to worry you.

“Are you going to talk to me?” You ask.

“Are you going to lie to me anymore?” He says putting his fork down.

“I didn’t technically lie to you.” You say and he just raise an eyebrow “I didn’t! I told you I have a brother named Jake, which I do. I told you he travels for work, which he does. I told you he’s a big leaf fan, which he is and I told you I was babysitting my niece tonight, which I was.”

“Oh right, my bad! You just forgot to mention I play with him!” He says before his face drops “dear god I’m going to get murdered.”

“Jake isn’t going to murder you.” You say rolling your eyes.

“I think he might.” Morgan says looking scared.

“Unless you’ve talked about our sex life in the room I think you’re fine.” You say rolling your eyes and he stays quite “MORGAN!”

“EVERYONE DOES! IF I HAD KNOWN ABOUT JAKE I WOULDN’T HAVE!” He exclaimed.

“What exactly did you tell them about?” You ask almost scared to know the answer.

It’s not like the two of you have done anything crazy but it’s clearly not stuff you would like your brother to know about. When he stays quite you just sigh accepting the fact that your brother now knows way to much about you, even if he didn’t know it.

The two of you just stay looking at each other before you go and sit across from him and start to eat. Nothing was said but he reached across the table and grabbed your hand making you look up.

“Why didn’t tell you me?” He asks softly and you sigh.

“Jake is the reason I never had a stable boyfriend. They find out who he is and get obsessed with him so they date me only to see him and get tickets to games. Or, they get scared and they break up with me.” You explain looking down “when I met you, I clearly knew who you were. But at the end of the night I had already fallen for you, hard. And I didn’t want you not to date me because Jake.”

Morgan doesn’t respond. He just quietly got up and made his way over to you. He just turns your stool so your body was facing his and he pulled your body into him. You don’t say anything as you wrap your arms around his waist. He just softly kisses your head.

“I know I should probably be mad, but you didn’t lie to me. I just didn’t ask the right questions.” He says and you try to cuddle closer.

“I’m sorry.” You say softly and you feel him laugh which make you laugh.

“Is there any more secrets you need to tell me?” He asks and you bite your lip.

“You know how I said I don’t own any Rielly jerseys.” You ask and Morgan lets go of the hug and steps back raising an eyebrow nodding “I have your leaf jersey and team North America jersey.”

“And where are these jerseys?” He asks with a smirk you know all too well so you laugh and run to your room.

You quickly get out off the short and sweater before you put his team NA jersey on. You walk back to the kitchen where Morgan was putting the food in the fridge. You just stand at the entrance of the kitchen as he shuts the door. He looks at you, his eyes widen and jaw dropped before he shamelessly drags his eyes over your body and smirks as he walks up to you and pulls you into a kiss. As you were kissing, he tapped your ass and you jumped wrapping your legs around his waist before he took wrapped his arms under your thighs and took the two of the you to your bedroom.

#doctors orders #morgan rielly imagine #morgan rielly x reader #morgan rielly #jake muzzin #nhl imagine #nhl #nhl x reader #alex kerfoot #tyson barrie

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i-hate-boyfs · 5 years ago

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richjake doesn’t work. here’s why.

when jeremy was dating brooke, one can tell, that’s not the real jeremy. when someone has a squip, they don’t act how they normally do. this is canon, this is rock solid canon that cannot be argued over. meaning, rich acts different from his true self when he has a squip. this is canon.

here’s the thing: that means that jake was friends with a lie.

we saw many people get hurt and tricked by jeremy’s lies, most egregiously, brooke. jeremy lies to her under the influence of the squip to gain her trust. he has a whole different persona from his actual self with her.

which means that rich has an entirely different persona with jake. that a friendship of two years was built on utter lies. jake does not actually know rich. their entire friendship is a lie.

now you think they’re going to start a romantic relationship two weeks after discovering that? also, here’s another mildly big reason...

RICH BURNED DOWN JAKE’S MOTHERFUCKING HOUSE!

do you think jake is Actually going to want to be friends with someone who burned down his fucking house, let alone date him?! i think quite not! i don’t think the fact that it was a suicide attempt would make jake any more likely to forgive him, either. probably the opposite, also given that jake was in the smartphone hour. (im not budging on that. is it canon? no, not as far as we know. but would jake participate given what we know about him and also maybe to distract from the fact that he was now in the hospital and homeless? yes.)

after being an entirely different person and after being controlled by a computer for TWO YEARS, how stable and fine do you think rich is going to be? the squip dictated his life and now he has to dictate his own life. he’s probably going to struggle in school, struggle socially. the squip chose his outfits? now he has to choose his outfits, and he didn’t do that for two years.

let’s face it: rich is developmentally stunted because of the squip. we think that three days later he would be able to talk normally to the person who was friends with a completely different person in rich’s body for two years? you think you can build a (healthy and stable) romantic relationship off that? i sure as heck wouldn’t trust rich if i were jake.

jake cares about rich. he really does, as shown by him trying to rescue rich in the fire. but when it comes out that rich burnt down his house and that rich is not the rich he knows but was being controlled by a supercomputer? i just can’t get over that... and i don’t think jake could either. maybe he’d want to try and find the real rich, you say! 1) rich burnt down his house and 2) rich lied to him for years. he cared about a person WHO WAS A LIE. that goes beyond betrayal of trust.

but also: richjake was invented so that all the ‘important’ characters could be paired up, and to have it in the background of boyfs content. that is what pinkberry is, that is was cinnabun is. these ships can be reclaimed by the individual and made into something real, but the crucial detail everyone ignores when they should always take it into account was that it was always supposed to be so that all the quote unquote ‘important’ characters would be paired up.

we have all of this. all of fucking this. and yet rich is reduced to the meme character and frequent jokes about the fire are made about him. rich has FAR more angst going for him than certain other characters (michael), and yet he is a meme character. dumbed down, potential forsaken. fuck, the ship name for rich and jake is technically fucking ARSON BROS. is that not a slap in the face to rich’s SUICIDE ATTEMPT and jake’s loss of EVERYTHING HE OWNS???

it still shocks me that michael angst fics are so prevalent when you have rich RIGHT THERE who doesn’t know how to DRESS HIMSELF post canon. isn’t that the tiniest bit more interesting than the same mitb fic that everyone else has written?

#be more chill #bmc #bmc 3.0 #jeremy heere #rich goranski #jake dillinger #michael mell #richjake #arson bros

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hopecountysfavhoe · 4 years ago

Text

‘Cold’ Chapter Thirteen

Word Count: 4,216

Rating 18+

A Peggie hunter slid into Jacob's room. "Sir! There's been an explosion down at the Armoury! You have to come quick!" He exclaimed and Jacob jumped to his feet.

"What explosion?" He demanded.

"I'm not sure, but our guys down there sounded pretty shaken up. They just called on the radio, they said that you would want to see this." The Peggie told him and stepped out of his way.

"Take me there." Jacob insisted and the Peggie nodded. He turned to two of his guards. "You two stay here, guard the Deputy. Don't let anyone but the doctor in, you understand?"

They quickly nodded and gripped their guns tighter. Jacob followed the Peggie hunter outside to his truck, pulling random Peggies to go with him to the Armoury.

They hopped into two trucks and peeled away from the Veterans Centre, being quick to speed down the road. They were just about there at the Armoury when they got the call.

"It's a diversion! They're getting the Deputy!" A guards voice crackled over the radio.

Jacob grabbed it right off of another Peggies shirt. "What do you mean it's a diversion?" He shouted into the radio but there was no answer, only silence. Jacob cursed and tossed the radio to the ground. He leaned into the front seat and grabbed the shoulder of the driver.

"Turn us around!" He ordered and the Peggie nodded. They quickly turned around, taking the other truck with them.

"But sir, what about the Armoury?" One brave hunter asked.

"There is no explosion, it was all a fake to get the goddamn Deputy right out from under our noses."

Jacob told him and shook his head, his rage growing by the second.

Thankfully, the driver was driving at top speed so he didn't get yelled at, but by the time they slid back into the front road of the Centre it was too late. Dead bodies laid everywhere, the wall, the roof, the door. Jacob jumped out of the truck and ordered his men to check the bodies. He bounded up the front stairs and pushed his way through the already open door. Inside were more of his men's bodies, it was obvious they tried to fight back.

He spotted a dead body laid over the radio system and knew that was the voice that told him it was a diversion. With rage (and a little panic) taking him over he ran downstairs to his office. The two guards that he'd posted outside the Deputy's room were dead and the door was hanging open. He checked and she wasn't there, only the mattress and a couple of blankets piled up in the corner.

"God damn it!" Jacob shouted and punched the wall. He was furious, how could he have been so stupid as to leave when the Deputy was here? He should have made his men go check the Armoury. He hadn't even been gone that long, but it was enough time for the fucking Whitetail Militia to ruin everything.

Two Peggies appeared at the entrance to Jacob's office. "Sir, it seems they let the others escape. The ones in conditioning." One of them said with a lump in his throat.

Jacob walked out of the Deputy's room and over to his guards in a dangerously slow way. He got really close to the one that spoke's face. "Then find them! Put up twice as many roadblocks, send out more helicopters, I want every inch of this mountain visible to me by the morning." He ordered and turned back to his desk.

The Peggies glanced at each other before promptly leaving. Jacob walked back over to his desk and leaned on his plans with the palms of his hands. He tried to take a few calming breaths like Joseph had showed him but he just got angrier and punched his desk, making a dent in the wood.

"I should have just fucking killed that goddamn Deputy." He told himself and punched his desk again.

Eli walked into a room where Marianne was holding up an IV. "How's she doin'?" He asked.

Marianne turned to glance at him before hooking the IV up to its holder. "She's stable but her injuries...they're worse than I can handle. She needs to be moved to the clinic in Holland Valley, there she'd have a better chance of recovering." She said and stepped away from the bedside.

The Deputy was still unconscious but because of the painkillers and oxygen her breathing wasn't as laboured as when she first got there. Her face swelling had been reduced thanks to Marianne's ice packs but the black bruises still festered across her face.

"How soon can we transport her?" Eli folded his arms, taking his eyes off the Deputy to face Marianne.

Marianne grabbed a fresh towel and dipped it into a bowl of water. "I'd say you'd have to move her tomorrow, I'll go with her to make sure the doctor knows about her condition." As she talked, Marianne carefully dabbed the towel across the Deputy's forehead.

"Can we move her tonight? With all the heat from last nights raid I'm worried about moving her during the day."

Marianne pulled the towel away from the Deputy's forehead. "I guess so. Can you get Mike ready to drive the van?" Marianne asked and Eli shook his head.

"Jacob's upped his roadblocks we'd never get out. I'll call someone in a chopper."

"Do you really think Adelaide can be quiet enough to get her out in time?" Marianne asked with disbelief in her voice.

"She's the best damn helicopter pilot I've ever met, and she loves the Deputy. She's the best chance the Dep has of making it out of here." Eli said and Marianne unwillingly nodded.

"Ok," she sighed, "I'll get her all ready to go." Eli thanked her then took one more glance at the Deputy before he turned and left the room.

*beep beep beep*

The Deputy's eye opened slowly, adjusting to the light of the room around her. She heard beeping coming from a machine next to her head. With a groan the Deputy pulled her arms over her abdomen, realizing she had an IV in her arm. She looked down at her arms, they were uncovered and laying on top of a blanket that someone had laid over her. She could feel that she wasn't wearing anything other than a hospital robe, but she was too tired to care. Besides, her legs and feet were covered by the blanket.

"Hey, Shorty." A voice entered the room, causing the Deputy to look over at the door. Sharky walked in holding a beer.

"...Sharky?" The Deputy's voice was weak and muffled through her swollen lip.

Sharky's head whipped towards the Deputy, shock was evident on his face. "Dep, you're awake?" He shuffled over to her bedside. Sharky has volunteered to keep an eye on the Deputy while she was asleep. Eli said that it would be a good idea for someone to be there when she woke up and the doctor couldn't stay at the clinic the whole time.

"Where...where am I?" Her speech was slurred due to her lip but Sharky could just barely make out what she was saying. But her left eye was still swollen shut, causing her depth perception to be thrown off balance.

"You're at the Hope County Clinic, man am I glad you're awake! We were getting worried about you! But no worries, Sharky is here and he's gonna take extra special care of you. Now the doc gave me a list of questions to ask you when you woke up but don't worry if you don't know the answer, I don't know the answer to half of 'em myself." Sharky set down his beer and looked around for something.

He finally found a clipboard and lifted it so that he could read it in the light. "Here we go. What is your name?" He asked and looked over at the Deputy expectantly.

"Uh...the Deputy?" Sharky shrugged.

"Works for me. Where are we right now?"

"Montana."

"Nice. What is the date?" Sharky paused as they both thought hard. "You know what, I don't even know the answer to that one. Next question: favorite colour?"

"Is that really a question?" The Deputy asked.

"Maybe it ain't but I'm trying to get to know you a little better! Favourite colour?" Sharky insisted.

"Uh...green." It took quite a bit of energy to talk but since it was with Sharky it was a little easier.

"Ok, count backwards from ten." Sharky lowered the clipboard and looked over at the Deputy, waiting for her to say something while taking a sip of his beer.

"Ok...ten, nine, eight, six no seven, then six, five, four, three, two, one." With every word the Deputy got more and more exhausted and Sharky could see that. "Sharky, what happened? I know...I know I was at-"

"Well after you were missing for a while Eli called us up and asked if we'd seen you. We hadn't and he started scrolling through his cameras and stuff and saw you getting chased by a butt ton of Peggies so we made a little diversion, an snuck inside ol' Jakey's Veterans Centre, and got you out! So now you can relax, besides you're in Holland Valley and Jake never crosses over into Johnny's territory. That'd be like a major major problem for John cause then he'd be upset and they'd start fighting but while they were fighting we could escape so maybe..." Sharky looked over at the Deputy who was fighting to stay awake and listen to him. "You know what? We'll deal with that if it happens. No worries Dep, I'm in charge and I'm a wonderful protector! Now I'm technically supposed to write down the answers to your questions so Imma go do that while you take a nap, how does that sound?" He asked and the Deputy nodded gently. Sharky gave her a quick pat on the shoulder and got up from his chair, mumbling something to himself about finding a pen.

Relieved that she wasn't in Jacob's region the Deputy was this close to being able to breathe easier. If only her ribs weren't broken, then she'd actually be able to breathe easier. It was easy to fall asleep, especially with the rhythmic beeping in her ear.

The sound of distant arguing made the Deputy stir in her sleep. Confused she woke up, although she wasn't fully awake she could tell what was happening around her. She heard Sharky arguing with someone, probably the doctor, but there was another person in her room. She had to turn her head since they were on the side with her swollen eye but then she saw Kim Rye setting up a flower arrangement on her bedside table.

"...Kim?" The Deputy asked and Kim turned to her.

"Hey Dep, how are you feeling?" She asked and reached out to hold the Deputy's hand.

"Like shit." The Deputy said and Kim chuckled.

The sound of Sharky yelling: "What do you mean fire in the Deputy's room will make it explode? Is there gas in it?" while the doctor desperately tried to explain to him that oxygen was the problem made the Deputy look towards the door.

Kim made a face. "That Boshaw I'll tell you. Just give me one second and I'll go take care of that." Kim gave the Deputy a smile and a small hand squeeze before she walked out of the room. She was quiet but her words were obviously a hushed shout. She kicked Sharky out of clinic under the instructions of finding Nick and returned back to the Deputy's room with the doctor.

"Hey Deputy, how are we feeling?" The doctor asked and picked up the clipboard at the end of her bed.

"Everything's pretty fuzzy, but I'll get chunks of it here and there." The Deputy explained and the doctor nodded.

"Well a little fuzziness can be expected with your concussion." The doctor said and grabbed a small flashlight out of her pocket. She walked over to the Deputy and held her good eye open, shining the flashlight into it.

"What all is wrong?" The Deputy asked as Kim took a seat next to her.

"Well, you have a lot going on. You've got two broken ribs, three cracked ribs, multiple bruised ribs, along with severe bruising and blood pooling in your abdomen, legs, and back. Your right rotator cuff is torn but that's pretty fixable, your face trauma is what I'm watching pretty closely right now." The doctor set down the clipboard and did some small muscle tests to check the Deputy's nerves.

Kim stayed by the Deputy's side, literally holding her hand the whole time. Hearing the list of her injuries, which she knew that wasn't the full extent of them, was enough to get her pretty worried. She'd known that she was in bad shape but hearing a doctor tell her was scarier.

"How long will it take her to recover?" Kim asked as if she could read the Deputy's mind.

The doctor studied the Deputy and her chart. "I'm going to say around 6-8 weeks just to make sure everything's healing the way it's supposed to be."

"Doc, I can't be here for 6-8 weeks. People need me." The Deputy tried to argue.

"Sorry Deputy, but even you need to take a break sometimes. Besides, we can handle it for a little while while you recover, I'm sure everyone will understand that." The doctor was sincere but the Deputy hated it.

What was she going to do if she couldn't fight the cult for 6-8 weeks? What was everyone like Eli and Wheaty, or Sheriff Whitehorse and Virgil, or Pastor Jerome and Mary May going to do with the Deputy down and out? The Deputy started thinking about what horrible things could happen to the Valley while she was sick.

Kim gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. "It's ok Deputy, the time will fly by and you'll be better in no time." She said sweetly, her tone was comforting but still the Deputy was out of commission. That was a pretty terrifying idea for the Deputy to wrap her head around.

Time was not flying by the way the Deputy hoped it would. It had been two and a half weeks already and the Deputy was barely feeling any better. Already Pastor Jerome has been over to the clinic to visit her, he wasn't supposed to tell her about what was happening but he did anyway when the doctor wasn't around. He gave her information about how they were keeping the cult pushed back with barricades and trucks, how because of her there were a lot more people that had been encouraged to pick up a gun and join the Resistance. It was all good news but still the Deputy was worried. She hated being in the clinic and was counting down the minutes until the doctor let her go.

She'd been visited by the majority of her friends, even Adelaide and Xander stopped by to drop off some stuff to help with the pain. It was most definitely pot and as soon as they left the doctor threw it out but it was the thought that counted. Nick and Kim visited her the most, sometimes they'd bring Carmina but most times one would stay home with the baby.

Kim would talk to the Deputy for hours about her garden and how big Carmina was getting. It was nice to hear about simple stuff like how her rutabagas were growing or how Nick had to put a child lock on his beer cooler and locked himself out of it.

Hurk and Sharky visited a lot too, mostly to tell the Deputy about whatever crazy things they were doing like trying to play tag with real guns (Sharky spent some time in the clinic with the Deputy) or how they were going to get Hurk Sr. to love Hurk Jr. more. They would eventually get kicked out by the doctor for being too loud or trying to touch all the medical equipment but they promised to come back whenever they could.

The doctor agreed to let the Deputy walk around the clinic to get some light exercise as long as she didn't try to leave, which the Deputy was grateful for. It was painful to sit up but the act of walking was freeing. After being tethered to the bed for weeks the Deputy was so thankful to be able to walk that she over did it and wound up collapsing halfway down the hallway. It gave Kim a real good scare and she lectured the Deputy about being more careful when she woke up. The doctor checked her out and was happy to tell her that she hadn't done more damage to her ribs but warned her against exerting herself more than necessary.

The Deputy tried to convince Kim not to spend so much time with her. "You should be spending this time with your family, not in some clinic with me." The Deputy tried to reason with her but Kim just pulled out a card game from her bag with a smile.

"Listen, Nick has Carmina and they're spending some quality time together so I have plenty of free time. So, Go Fish?" She asked and the Deputy sighed.

She did love to play Go Fish with Kim so she agreed to play until she got tired and had to take a nap. With all of the sleep the Deputy had been getting she was amazed she hadn't been having many nightmares. Maybe it was the painkillers, maybe they did something to mess with her head and make her sleep peacefully.

Maybe she'd spoken too soon.

After a long day of walking and resting and walking and resting the Deputy was sleeping peacefully. Until she had a dream.

It was a nice dream, the Deputy was walking through the forest in the Whitetail mountains, no gun, no Peggies, just her in nature enjoying herself. She walked around for a while, past some small lakes with fish jumping for flies above the water. She saw some deer grazing along open fields in the hills. The Deputy decided to go visit the Wolf's Den, since she'd been gone for so long.

It took her a little while to get up there but she got to the front door of the Wolf's Den and climbed in. She walked down the stairs and felt the air get cooler. No worries though, it's always chilly in the bunker. It was suspicious that she hadn't seen anybody yet but she just assumed they were having a meeting so she let herself in.

When she turned a corner she saw a Militia man dead against the wall. The Deputy hurried to check his pulse but found nothing. She grabbed his knife and ran deeper into the bunker. After every twist and turn she found more dead Resistance members strewn across the place. Then she saw Tammy bloody on the ground, then Wheaty, and the Deputy could hear someone breathing around the corner of the room she was hiding in.

She jumped around the corner of the doorway and saw Eli dead on the floor, his head caved in with a pipe. Standing over him was a bloody figure, holding a gun in one hand and a pipe in the other. He turned around to reveal his face. It was Jacob Seed. He had blood coating the left side of his face, his breaths came out in exerted pants. He saw the Deputy standing there with a small knife and grinned that haunting grin.

"Do you really think I can't find you?" He asked, tilting his head to the side.

The Deputy couldn't say anything, she couldn't speak, she couldn't move, all she could do was stand there in terror and watch. Jacob raised his pipe with a single arm and with a disturbing laugh swung firmly, suddenly standing a foot away from the Deputy. The pipe swung right for the Deputy's face causing her to lurch.

She jumped and was suddenly sitting on the clinic bed, her hands gripping the blanket over her. She looked around as quickly as she could but the stiffness in her neck made that difficult. "Where's Eli? Wheaty? Tammy? Where are you?" She called out in a panic.

"Deputy, calm down it was just a nightmare." A soothing deep voice got closer to her. The Deputy whipped her head to the voice and saw Grace standing there with her hands up, being careful not to get too close.

"Grace?" The Deputy asked and slowly made herself more aware of her surroundings. She was sitting in the clinic, not walking through the Whitetail mountains. She raised a hand to her head that was now pounding.

"You were having a nightmare, I was just about to wake you up." Grace said and got closer to her.

"Thanks, when'd you get here?"

"A couple hours ago, what was that dream about? You were mumbling in your sleep about Eli?" Grace asked her and the Deputy leaned back into her pillows.

"It was nothing, just a bad dream." She told her, hoping that Grace would leave it alone.

"Ok..." Grace sat down in the chair next to the Deputy's bed. "So how long have you got left in here?" She asked and the Deputy rubbed her eyes.

"I'm a few days out of 6 weeks, but I'm feeling much better so I'm hoping the doctor won't keep me stuck in here for much longer."

She looked way better now than she did when she first got there. Her eye wasn't swollen shut anymore and the bruise had been reduced to a yellowish tint around her eyes. The gash from the pipe that stretched across the right side of her face was healing but it would definitely scar. The doctor kept an ointment on it and a bandage over it to help it heal. Her right arm (the one with the torn rotator cuff) was in a shoulder sling to help it heal properly. Her face still looked like hell but she was coming out of it.

Grace could tell the beating had a lasting effect on her. She didn't have that sort of lighthearted laugh to her voice when she spoke and her eyes were dark. She spent a lot of time thinking, not that the Deputy wasn't quiet before but now it took Grace a couple times of saying the Deputy's name before she realized she was being spoken to. It was obvious she was getting antsy with being stuck inside the clinic, she'd been convincing the doctor to let her do her walking outside the clinic.

After days of wearing her down, the doctor agreed to let her walk around outside as long as she had someone there with her at all times and she didn't go farther than the driveway.

Grace wasn't great at helping the Deputy walk around. She just didn't have that side to her, she was more gruff and stoic than a caretaker should be. Jess was even worse. But the Deputy enjoyed having their spunk around her, it helped her feel like she was out in the field again.

Jess would sit on the stone marker that marked the driveway and wait for the Deputy to hobble over to her. She spent the majority of her time focusing on her bow and arrows, pretending that the Deputy walking wasn't such a big deal. It was really because she hated seeing the Deputy like that. She hated watching her stumble around on shaky legs, just trying to make it somewhere she could sit down.

Every time Jess looked at the Deputy she was filled with rage. That rage made her want to go hunt Jacob Seed down and torture him the way he'd tortured so many other people, including her. But she couldn't, she couldn't just go in and try to kill everyone the way she wanted to so bad.

"I feel like a goddamn drunk." The Deputy sighed as she lowered herself down to the stone marker Jess sat on.

"You sure look like it." Jess replied and the Deputy gave her an entertained huff.

"You know, when you get to be my age," the Deputy sat up straighter to relieve the pressure on her ribs, "you get a sort of clarity about a lot of things."

"You know I'm 27 right?" Jess interrupted and the Deputy looked over at her.

"Holy shit, you're not like, 18?" She asked and Jess shook her head.

"No you just look old." Jess bantered back and the Deputy chuckled.

"Well damn, I didn't know that." The Deputy said and winced as she adjusted herself on the stone marker.

Jess stayed quiet for a minute. "How are you going to get Jacob back for this?" She asked, motioning to her sling with an arrow.

The Deputy sighed. "I don't know Jess, I don't know." She said and neither of them said anything else, even if they wanted to.

#far cry 5 #jacob seed #far cry #jacob seed x deputy #jacob x deputy #female deputy #deputy oc #fem!deputy #fem deputy #farcry fanfic #jacob seed fanfic #far cry 5 fanfic #far cry fanfiction #jacob seed x fem deputy

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letsperaltiago · 5 years ago

Text

because you’re the reason i go on

the post-”trying”, angsty, emotional, 6k+ oneshot no one asked for

Jake and Amy confront Camila Santiago about her judgemental ways at a Santiago-family event.

They’d been sitting quietly on their couch one afternoon, one where they both happened to have the day off, for once allowing them to hang around the apartment with no specific or urgent to-dos on their minds. This resulted in Amy keeping herself busy on their shared laptop, taking up a corner of their couch with her legs stretched out and feet resting in her husband’s lap, whilst Jake himself played Mario Party – he’d never say it out loud, because, in the end, it didn’t matter when it was the for the sake of their possible future child, but he’d really missed playing when the ‘way more scheduled’-Amy way had flipped their daily lives upside down.

It’d been a week, just barely, since they’d shared a disappointed glance at the sight of yet another, and for some time the last, pregnancy test in Amy’s hand. They both know a week wasn’t a long time meaning the aching in their hearts was perfectly normal. Just as well, giving them a sense of faith, the fact that they very much had each other to lean on and help manage the pain and frustration they still felt meant everything was, given the circumstances, fine.

Or at least it was until the updating of her inbox notified her of a new, very specific email which immediately caught her full attention.

As soon as the letters came together, quickly deciphered by her brain to form words with meaning, said meaning sent a dagger through her heart completely paralysing her. Even distracted by his video game he, Jake, could tell from the way the typing and clicking of the keyboard had so abruptly stopped that his wife had stopped amidst whatever she was doing.

“What’s up?” His eyes stayed glued to the tv where he was currently almost, and for once finally, beating Wario in the final lap of the game. Although that didn’t last for long since his wife’s obvious lack of reply, compared to Wario catching up to him during the final, crucial seconds, raised significantly greater awareness.

“Ames?” he tried looking this time, quickly snapping his head in her direction as to not miss out on the game, only to be met by the blank, hopeless expression on her face and still body: Something was definitely wrong.

“Hey,” this time he rushed to put down the controller, not caring about whether or not Wario would beat him again and instead using his newly freed hands to caringly rub her knee as he scooted in closer. “Amy, babe, what happened? Are you okay?”

Her empty expression, still staring blankly at the laptop screen, stayed stuck for another few beats before a small, single, torturously slow tear rolled down her cheek. This of course immediately alerted Jake even more.

“Amy,” he desperately tried to snap her out of it with a pleading, although remaining calm, voice whilst squeezing her knee as if she somehow, maybe, had forgotten he was there with her.

That’s when she finally resurfaced, turning her face to look directly at him only to reveal that there were matching tears rolling down her other, before out of sight to him, cheek. Although the last few months had been hard and had taken its toll on them both, especially her, Amy had seemed fine once they’d settled on not thinking about babies for a while: They both slept significantly better, reverted to their enjoyment of what was their usual regularities and, all in all, everything seemed back to the way things were.

So this sudden eruption of sadness from his wife, when just 30 minutes ago they’d joked around talking about what take-out, something they’d missed dearly during their trying-times, they should treat themselves with for dinner that night, worried Jake a lot.

“It’s-” she finally broke her muteness, then once again briefly pausing in silence to catch her breath like she’d been holding it. “Tony and Elena.”

Her husband’s brows furrowed with worry. He couldn’t tell what exactly she meant, which he hated, but it had struck her like lighting from a clear sky so it obviously had to be a great, sorrowful deal to her.

“What happened? Are they okay?”

With Amy’s huge family it was sometimes hard to keep track of every single member, but Jake had gotten pretty familiar with all of the Santiago-brothers and took, especially, great liking to the second oldest Tony.

“Y-yeah, they’re fine but they’re-“ her voice’s transition into whimpering interrupted her as she tried to hold back incoming tears alas quickly failing to do so.

“Jake, I’m such a horrible person for reacting like this,” her whimpering evolved further into small heaving sobs prompting Jake to, gently as to not further upset her, take the laptop away from her to get a look at whatever had triggered such reaction. His eyes wandered across the screen for a brief moment before his frame froze the same exact way her’s had just minutes earlier.

‘SURPRISE! JOIN US IN CELEBRATING ANOTHER FUTURE SANTIAGO’, wide and bold, screamed from the subject line of what was indeed and very clearly an email-invite to Elena and Tony Santiago’s baby reveal + shower.

A heavy sigh along with a defeated drop of Jake’s shoulders complied with the so happy yet so distressing nature of the news.

“Oh, babe…” he’d put the laptop away in order to be able to move freely before moving in to engulf his wife in the tightest hug possible allowing her to cry her sadness out into the crook of his neck, a spot which had grown to be her safe place, where she’d automatically buried her face the moment he pulled her sideways into his lap.

In Jake’s ears, not only as her husband but also being her best friend, any cry, even the smallest sniffle, from Amy Santiago was absolutely heartrending and a perfect world would be one where his wife was never hurt, angered or confused enough to need to utter these kind of sounds. In this perfect world there would be constant peace in her mind, a smile on her face and, goddamn, he wished more than anything else, a baby in her belly.

His hand, which had automatically tightened around her figure, started rubbing soothing circles between her heaving shoulder blade, the other pushing her beautiful raven locks of hair away from her face. There, to the newly exposed forehead, all while saying nothing thus giving her the needed space to cry it out all while wrapping her up in a safe presence of his own, he pressed a tender kiss. Quite a few years spent together with her had led to a lot more of maturing on his part. Suddenly he saw, understood even, a lot of the matters and issues from her perspective, one he’d before called the one of an ‘old cat-lady’. Jake had learned a lot from Amy, which he was especially thankful for during these kind of scenarios where he needed her. He took pride in being needed by Amy Santiago; thus he had to do it right.

This also meant that sometimes it was better to say nothing at all. “Silence is just as powerful as words” was one of the things she’d had taught him, so as long as he got to sit with her, letting her know that he was there for her, Jake could feel calm and confident about not interrupting her crying.

It was not too long after when the sobs, shaking and shock slowly wore off and silence engulfed the two wrapped up figures.

“Hey,” he spoke softly. Silence was the only reply he got but he was okay with that. The necessity of a reply wasn’t there; her attention was enough and he knew he had it. Meanwhile his neck had craned in an attempt to get the best possible look at her face where it was still resting into the soft curve of his neck. The tiniest shuffle of her shoulder as she readjusted in his lap confirmed that she indeed listening.

“You don’t have to do anything you genuinely don’t want to do. You know that right?”

It was all she could give for now, which was okay, Jake thought, when he felt the nodding movement of her head against his neck.

“Okay good,” he paused thinking for a brief second before resolving on leaving a feathery stroke to her forehead with the length of his nose, his lips automatically taking over afterwards in one swift movement.

“We don’t have to go if you’re not genuinely feeling up for it. We can just say we both have work that day.”

Beneath where his hands were continuously drawing lazy circles on her upper back Jake could tell she was thinking – hard. Then suddenly her face was no longer hiding in his soft skin, instead she rose to an upright position although remained put in his lap. With red eyes, a version of his favorite pair of eyes he hated to witness, she looked at him.

“I just...” She sniffed in the process of wiping tears off her face with the back of the hand that wasn’t keeping her stable with a hold on her husband’s firm shoulder. “If I choose not to go then it means I’m letting this deterring situation get the best of me, and I just-“

As if he hadn’t already been aching for his wife and feeling utterly frustrated by the feeling that came along with it being way beyond his control, her voice, once again, started to quake, slowly and torturously breaking Jake’s heart like a disk on repeat. The following words made it out in-between tiny sobs and heaving halts from trying to hold them back.

“I can’t let it control me, Jake. I don’t want to it to define me more than it already has.”

It. Two letters: one word… The one, little word substituting for whatever force was keeping them from becoming pregnant contained so much pain. He cupped her face in his hands trying to fight her tears by wiping them away but alas; every time he had, new ones just dropped right in the exact same spot.

“Shhh,” he whispered pulling her back into his chest with the strong urge, and the only way he could think of to protect her from what, lately, had been the very cruel and unfair world around them. He didn’t say anything else right away once again leaving her space to continue speaking if she wished to, but all that came out of her and into his neck were small whimpers.

“It doesn’t define you, Ames. You’re bigger than this and it doesn’t change who you are. And for every single ‘me’ you say, you have to remember that I’m right here in this with you. Whatever has happened and whatever will happen is something we’re in together.”

Shuffling against his neck followed by the tingling sensation of her warm lips against the skin let him know that what he’d said had struck the right chord.

“Thank you,” she croaked.

“No, thank you for being so incredible. And if you want to go then we will and if you don’t, then that’s alright too and we just won’t. No bigger deal than that, okay?”

He looked down to be met by a rush of relief; a tiny faint smile was once again present on her face.

“Okay.”

***

Thus it resulted in Jake and Amy, together as the unit they were, deciding to disregard what the pain was telling them to do and instead just go. A few days after their talk that afternoon, the emotional knockout upon receiving the email, Amy had looked herself in the mirror one evening and agreed with herself: no, this shouldn’t define her and therefor she wouldn’t let it.

But even then, on the morning of the baby shower, Amy caught herself feeling overwhelmed, emotions stronger than anticipated even though she was still circling around the will to admit. Slow and unconsciously, allowing her no fighting chance to prevent it, a train of pestering thoughts infested her mind. Looking at her reflection in the mirror feeling ready and put together, pretty even, wearing simple makeup and one of her staple floral dresses, she suddenly hated how she wished the skirt of it was draped over a round belly, one with a baby in it, rather than her usual curves.

In the midst of this staring contest from hell with her own reflection there was suddenly the sudden urge to break down all over again; give up and go back to bed like a way more manageable alternative to smiling and pretending to be okay around people who’d so easily accessed what she was dying to have. In the very same instance her jaw locked in an attempt to hold back a whimper, when her eyes blinked obsessively to wipe away incoming tears forming in the sockets, her husband, thankfully, appeared behind her in the reflection she suddenly hated so much.

“Is my favorite incredible, beautiful wife ready to go?” He wrapped his arms around her middle like it was the most right thing in the world instantly making her forget that, just a second, she’d hate that specific area of her body.

Amy could feel her jaw unclench and the tears stand down from their position on the verge to falling the minute the sound and feeling of Jake engulfed her. This was without a doubt what saved her from breaking down right then and there.

“As ready as she’ll ever be,” she sighed with a small smile looking at him in the mirror.

He nodded, understanding.

“Good. And remember: if it becomes too much, or you’re just not feeling it, then let me know. We’ll be out of there before you can say ‘Pierogis, potato pancakes and hot chocolate’.”

This turned out to be an excellent example of exactly why she needed Jake Peralta: a chuckle danced off her lips as it was indeed close to, if not entirely, impossible not to be charmed by his small jokes and overall sweetness. She then turned around hitting him with the kind of smile she knew he was always yearning for like she did for his.

“Thank you, I will,” she placed a hand to his cheek to stroke it in a small act of gratitude. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ames. So much,” he quickly pecked her lips before sending her a tender smile.

“And I wish I could continue to stand around all day to tell you that over and over again, but I really don’t feel like being on the receiving end of that judgmental look your mom always gives me if we are more than 10 seconds late.”

Once again her point was proven: it was impossible to hold back a smile and chuckle around him.

“That’s fair. Let’s go.”

They untangled only to lock hands on their way to the car. The 30-minute drive to Tony and Elena’s house was comfortable considering where they were headed to and how nervous Amy had felt right before leaving the house.

To her defense, with Jake’s right hand on her thigh rubbing small circles with his thumb, accompanied by their favorite jams and loud, horrible but nonetheless enjoyable singing, Amy actually forgot why she was feeling anxious about the day’s event in the first place. This especially when Jake performed ‘My Heart Will Go On’ in such a cheesy and overdramatic way, right to the point where it was almost too much since he chose to direct every word at her whilst, of course, still focusing on the road ahead. Luckily there were quite a few red lights along the trip for him to safely twist his body and directly serenade her with his Celine Dion-impression which successfully earned him loud affectionate laughter.

The mood was set and they were both ready to take on whatever the previously half-dreaded baby shower would turn out to hit them with: good or bad. Although, when they knocked on the front door Jake felt Amy shuffle nervously. Wanting to put out the fire of anxiety he could tell was sparking within her, he quickly grabbed his wife’s hand to give it a small, affectionate squeeze, telling her he was right there. They’d agreed on this and he’d do anything within his power to take sure: the baby shower would be okay.

And it had been okay.

It had been okay to see Elena glow with her growing, round belly. It had been okay to be surrounded by colorful balloons, cupcakes and presents. It had been okay to congratulate her brother and his wife, genuinely meaning it from the bottom of her heart. It had been okay.

Until it hadn’t been.

All the guests, which included eight Santiago-siblings with respective partners plus the future grandparents and a couple of Tony and Elena’s closest friends, were all spread throughout the living room in the suburban home. It had been a couple of hours of mingling, opening gifts and snacking on color-coordinated goods, and although one of them would occasionally stray off or get pulled aside by a familiar face, Jake and Amy mostly stuck together and admired the buzzing brunch-party from a safe distance. This when they weren’t catching up with Amy’s siblings or giving Tony a helping hand with small tasks so that he could enjoy the festivities alongside his wife.

Everything was going smoothly making Amy consider how she’d completely blown the entire thing out of proportions before coming. In retrospect she could see how it had been silly and a waste of her own energy to be so scared of feeling like the odd one out on a day that was Tony and Elena’s day. No one would actually care about her lack of a growing baby-bump when they were here to celebrate someone else’s.

Or that’s what she’d thought.

“Amy, ” Elena’s mother had called out sending them a warm accommodating smile as she snaked her way through the crowd to where they were currently resting on the couch while enjoying some kind of sweet sparkling wine.

“Hello, Mrs. Cardea,” Amy greeted politely as she got back on her feet to hug the slightly familiar face. Tony and Elena had been together for quite a while, even before getting married 3 years prior, which meant Elena’s mother was no stranger. On the other hand it’d been a while since Amy had last seen her, which meant the introduction and use of last name was more out of politeness and routine than anything else.

“It’s nice to see you again, dear. It’s a luck that I frequent your mother quite a bit so that she can let me know how you’re doing.”

“I’m sorry it’s been so long,” Amy returned the sweet sentiment of the older woman’s remark. Beside her she could feel Jake follow her lead standing up and reaching out to shake the newcomers hand.

“Hi, Mrs. Cardea. I’m Jake Peralta.” He paired the greeting with his best polite smile.

“Oh,” the older woman’s eyes widened. “So you’re the famous boyfriend of the only Santiago-girl? ”

The couple let out a collective chuckle exchanging tiny, secret smiles in reaction to the unintentional mislabeling.

“Husband, actually,” Jake grinned proudly raising his hand to show off the silver-band which, with two years of marriage and an even older love, felt like natural, extended part of his body.

As if the revelation had come out of nowhere, which puzzled Amy since her mother must’ve mentioned their marriage to Mrs. Cardea at some point, if they spoke regularly, like the woman claimed, Mrs. Cardea’s smile transitioned into a lightly confused gape.

“My oh my,” Mrs. Cardea seemed to be at a loss of words but quickly picked herself back up and within seconds the smile, warm and genuine, was back. But even then Amy could tell something was off. “I can’t believe Camila didn’t tell me. Must’ve slipped her mind.”

The wedding of her only daughter slipped her mind? Amy hoped to God Elena’s mom was right, a feeling of anger slowly coming to a simmer inside of her. Although she couldn’t let people around her know, she had the strong urge to storm of to talk to her mom or pull Jake aside to rant, but for now she bit her lip and put on a brave, now very forged smile.

“Yeah…” Amy tried to give the off-roading conversation a nudge back on track which Jake quickly picked up on, prompting him to reassuringly grab her hand. “… I’m sure she just forgot.”

“I’m sure it’s a mouthful with so many kids to keep track of,” Mrs. Cardea cackled obviously not picking up on the iffy mood surrounding the topic.

Then the feared, for a while forgotten, bomb was dropped.

“Speaking of kids, especially now that I know that you’re married: when are you going to give this fine young husband of yours his first child?”

First of all Amy hated how she made it sound like she would be making Jake a favor by falling pregnant. Secondly, if Amy thought she’d already gone through the peak of the pain from what they were going through at the moment, then she was dead wrong. Right then and there, being slapped across the face with those words, Amy felt her heart completely fall apart. More frustrating than not being physically able to make a child was being reminded of it by a, basically, stranger who knew nothing of what they were going through within the four walls of their home.

Beside her, out of the corner of her eye, there was no doubt that Jake had flinched along with her, evidently clenching his jaw in order to suppress a biting reply. If it hadn’t been for the crowd around them she would’ve collapsed in anger and tears, meanwhile he would’ve definitely snapped at the poor Mrs. Cardea.

“We’re just getting settled into married life and we’re in no rush. It’ll happen when it happens.”

To Amy’s relief Jake did his best, as always, to stay calm and advert the situation in favor of them both. He squeezed her hand, firmly believing what he said even though it also happened to be a half, tiny white lie since now was no time nor place to tell a stranger that ‘Well we’ve been trying for the past eight months, hopelessly and with every trick in the book, but nothing seems to work so right now we’re kind of just trying to get through the pain of quite possible not being able to conceive.’

Even though Jake, Amy included, thought he’d adverted the situation nicely apparently Mrs. Cardea saw this from a completely different perspective. The older woman’s before sweet smile faltered to one of a rather skeptical nature, implicitly telling the couple that this was not what she’d expected to hear.

“Well…” the older woman recomposed herself to speak even though all Jake and Amy wished for was to get away from the conversation and the radical road it was currently being forced down. Amy knew her family was one of old traditions, and even though she’d learned to deal with it and, to some extent, respect it, she in no way wished for her and Jake to take part in it. They were their own family.

“Just make sure to not wait around for too long, Amy. I mean, compared to your brothers, it has already taken you quite some time to evem get married: you wouldn’t want to risk waiting for, well, too long, to make a baby.”

Amy thought she’d just barely survived the worst but now, this, was the equivalent of an emotional apocalypse slowly shutting her entire being and will to do, try, speak, anything, down. Her surroundings seemed to darken letting her know it was only a matter of crucial moments before she’d be shut down completely and beyond social criterion. The simultaneous ache in her head, her heart, her entire body actually, was too overwhelming to ignore anymore.

“I’m-“ she barely managed to utter whilst staring into nothing because it was better than to look at anything in this room that reminded her of what she for some ungodly reason couldn’t have. “You’ll have to excuse me.”

With the blunt announcement that she was leaving, not even caring about what Elena’s mom thought of her sudden switch, Amy detangled her hand from Jake’s in order to rush away to wherever she could turn into a decent hiding place. For the next few hours or perhaps forever. Suddenly, like an epiphany, all she could seem to think about was getting out of the house and lock herself inside their car. There, at least, there was no risk getting found since, apparently, no one knew she was married and, even less, had a champagne-colored midsized Sedan. It was bulletproof.

Or, it was, right up until life seemed to have other plans for her, because getting to the car turned out to mean ‘going through the kitchen’ and ‘going through the kitchen’ meant ‘stumbling into her mother’, who then was about to reprimand her for not paying attention to where she was going. the sight of tears streaming down her daughter’s face caused her to halt though.

“What’s wrong, mija?”

Wrong. The word haunted her: she, Amy Santiago, was wrong: her body was wrong, biology was wrong, giving up was wrong, continuing to try was wrong, all in all everything was wrong. It had to be when something she wanted more than anything else in the world seemingly wasn’t meant to be hers. However, her mother, the one person in her life who was, more than anyone else, supposed to make her feel right? She made her feel, if possible, even more faulty.

Seconds prior to the colliding all she had been able to think about was getting the hell out of the house. But now, seeing her mother, triggered something angry, spiteful even, within her, setting free all the words and thoughts her brain, unknowing to Amy herself, had formed.

“What’s wrong, you ask?” Amy heaved with broken, wet eyes shooting daggers. Her brain short-circuited making Amy unsure of exactly what had been said past this point. “You’ve kept my marriage a secret because you’re embarrassed.”

“What are you talking about? Why would I be embarrassed?”

“Because your only daughter, the only chance for you to experience ‘your little girl becoming a mother’, has been married for two years,” she over-articulated the last two words as emphasis. “And she still hasn’t had a child of her own, and to make matters even worse? She’s not even pregnant. That’s, apparently, embarrassing.”

Amy felt a figure rush up behind alas the heat of the moment resulted in her not even caring one bit. Tears were impairing her sight and all she had to get through was another few points – then she could leave.

“Ames, honey,” the figure behind her was Jake gently mumbling into her ear, carefully, as to not startle her before placing his hands on her waist. “We can go if you want to.”

He could tell his mother-in-law looked rather pale, more tight-lipped than usual, but had yet to put two and two together. That was until Amy spoke up again, chest heaving with all the sadness and sobs she was fighting so hard to repress.

“I’m not embarrassed, Amy,” her mother spoke to her own defense, of course paired with the look of pity, a look Amy hated. “I just don’t understand why you and Jake want to wait so long? Why is it that you must do things differently than everyone else just to prove a point?”

Not only did this strike Amy twice as hard as anything else that’d been said that day; this time Jake was not only aching for his wife but also for himself. This was bigger and more personal than Camila Santiago having high expectations for her kids, wanting them to shine and succeed at everything. No, this time it was wholly inequitable discrimination of her daughter’s way of living her life, included Jake and the things she struggled with when no one else was looking.

This was also drawing a line; the very last straw.

Jake broke in, stepped out from behind Amy to instead take a protective stand in front of her. It was no secret that Jake was terrified of his mother-in-law but if there was something which could make him not give that the tiniest care in the world, then it was the second she dismissed Amy they way she just had.

“First of all, with all due respect, Camila, you have no right to deprecate the things Amy, neither the things Amy and I, do and do not chose to do. It’s her life and while you’re her mother, which is just one of many good reasons why you should support her unconditionally, you have no right to talk her down the way you are right now.”

Angry was not a word Jake was very familiar with but by now his regular voice had definitely transitioned into a defensive scowl, eyes shadowed by anger and jaw clenched whenever he wasn’t speaking: he was not about to let another one of Mrs. Santiago’s jab at his wife slip by – especially now that it concerned such a delicate matter.

“All Amy wants is to please you, but you never actually take the time to acknowledge anything she does and at some point, which I strongly believe is now, it has to stop. You can’t reprimand her like she’s a little child living a life as if it was an open, always accessible book to you. You don’t know half the things she does and goes through: you take no interest in hearing about or understanding the bad, the hard, the frustrating… And the incredible things she does? You ignorantly dismiss them. She has no chance of winning with you.”

Jake was almost chuffing from lack of air caused by combination of exuding anger and the fast talking. He too was now getting emotional feeling the weight of the past months pushing down on him. Leading up to today’s events he’d remained extra strong and supportive for Amy but, truth be told, he was hurting just as much as she was.

“As a matter of fact, if you must know, Amy and I have been trying for a baby for quite some time now… And it’s been very,” he paused to swallow and compose himself before continuing, ”hard.”

A lump started to form in his throat, obviously affecting the pitch of his voice quickly prompting Amy to grab his right hand with both of hers from where she was still shielded behind him. Before him, when she finally seemed to understand what Jake was really telling her, he could clearly tell how Camila’s expression changed from cold, probably annoyed by her daughter’s “rowdy husband” meddling, to shocked and actually showing emotions.

“Oh, mija,” she looked past Jake to get a hold of her daughter’s hiding eyes. “I had no idea. You should’ve told me… It doesn’t have to mean that you can’t have a baby. There’s probably just something you’re doing wrong, and I-“

“No,” once again Jake was quick to interrupt her, the word bursting out his mouth out as a snarl, before she could finish the sentence.

“Amy’s been doing everything perfectly right, and even beyond, so you don’t get to tell her otherwise.”

Silence enveloped the entire kitchen whilst the life of the party buzzed in the background.

Camila stood frozen in the very same spot she’d been caught in for the past few minutes. Here, after what felt like a lifetime, Jake made up his mind and decided that there was nothing else to say. Getting the hell out of there to take care of his wife was of higher priority than waste time, hopelessly and with no gain, trying to talk Camila to her senses.

He turned around to look his wife directly in the eyes, searching for some kind of sign that would tell him that what he’d just done was okay – it was Amy’s mother, after all.

And although tears were still washing down her face Amy also couldn’t help but send him a small affirmative nod. If she hadn’t been too busy crying she’d tell him that, once again, him acting by instinct had paid off.

“I want to go home,” she whispered.

He took another good look at her to make sure that she was okay for now, then quickly replied with a whisper telling her “Of course. Let’s go,” before leading her away and out of the house by the hand. Once he’d gotten her settled in the car Jake ran back to grab their coats, in the meantime also coming up with an excuse to Tony and Elena about Amy being sick thus having to leave. Jake was unsure of whether or not either hosts had overheard the fight but nonetheless they both nodded understandingly, thanking Jake and Amy for the gift and for coming.

So yes, the baby shower had been okay until it hadn’t been.

***

In contrast to the ride to the party, the ride back home was very quiet with minimal to no words spoken. Amy knew she could speak up, if she wished to, but then the act of staring out the window, watching the city grow thicker and thicker by the mile, simply seemed more manageable. Once in a while Jake would throw a glance in her direction to make sure she was somewhat okay while also keeping in mind that the urge to get home and hold her didn’t cause him to drive irresponsibly.

Immediately upon arriving back home, the minute the door closed behind them trapping them in their own little cocoon, Amy carelessly, and very unusually, Jake couldn’t help but notice, kicked of her shoe before heading in the direction of their bedroom. Although Jake was fast, managing to grab her wrist before tugging her back to wrap her up in his arms. This, hopefully, would prompt her to react however she needed to.

And indeed, the moment she was tugged into him and her face could hide from the world in the crook beneath his neck, she did. The heaving movement of her shoulders came first, then the muffled sobs.

Jake, knowing that the silence on the way back home was both of them fighting a war within themselves with only a of question of not if but when they’d burst at the seams, could only hold her as tight as physically possible whilst rocking her back and forth as his own eyes started to prick.

During his life time Jake Peralta had undergone many kinds of pain: anything from, compared to this moment, that is, stupid bagatelles like watching the woman he was pining for be with someone else to being wrongfully accused and sent to prison, where he lived a daily life in a constant state a fear. Nonetheless it was still crystal clear that nothing, not by a longshot, had ever been able to tear him to shreds like seeing his wife suffer from something so out of his, or anyone’s, control.

“I wish I could take your pain away,” he mumbled into the top of her head, his voice tearful and heavy from despair.

Another sob, this time smaller, escaped her body before the next sound he could hear was her taking a deep breath.

“I know,” she sniffled as her shoulder rose in fighting another incoming cry in the meantime also allowing her lungs to stock up on just enough fresh air. Then silence. The quietness, the silence after the storm, that came after felt post-apocalyptic, when in reality they were in the eye of the hurricane: in the clear but surrounded by chaos.

But perhaps that was good enough for now.

“…And I yours, Jake. God, I wished.”

“I know,” he smiled, through tears, into her hair before burying his face in it. Nothing felt safer than her – even during her darkest hours. In the end he felt reassured as long as she was there by his side and he by hers.

“But one day at a time,” he sniffled peaking tears away. “Okay?”

He felt her untuck from his neck, her safe spot, in order to look at him properly for the first time since they left Tony’s house. As expected her eyes were bloodshot, exhausted and red, although there was also a tiny twitch, something hinting at a smile, of the corner of her lips that implicitly accepted Jake’s statement.

“Okay,” she nodded.

“I love you, Ames,” he tipped his head down evening out their height difference in order to press his forehead to hears. “And I’m so stupidly in love with you.”

Finally, this was what it took, a full smile broke out on her lips; a smile which Jake Peralta wasted no second reciprocating. It didn’t matter that the affectionate chuckle sliding off her lips was half-teary from the intense crying nor that her cheeks were still very much damp and puffy; Amy Santiago was wholeheartedly chuckling and this Jake Peralta had been dying to witness.

“And I know things aren’t turning out how we had hoped, at least not right now, but…” His fingers calmly, almost unconsciously, slid down to stroke her waist, his forehead still leaning against hers.

“… I’m never going to stop loving or being in love with you, Amy Santiago, so there’s no need to worry. We’ve got time… Time to hurt, time to laugh, time to fall down and then get back up again. It doesn’t feel like it now, which is so very okay… ” he pulled back to look right into her eyes, making sure to emphasize his point, “… But in the end, we’re going to be the ones in control of our lives: Not biology, not your mom, not anyone or anything else. If we want a child then that’s what we’ll have - one way or the other, I promise you.”

Tears were once more forming in her eyes although this time, to his relief, it appeared to be tears of joy rather than sadness. Being sad suddenly seemed so distant, so irrelevant, when she had a husband who loved her that much.

“And, like I said and will continue to say for as long as you need to hear it: we don’t have to think about a final solution now.”

On one hand she wanted to say something, express and return the incredible amount of love he always provided, yet, on the other hand, the need to grab his face and pull him into the deepest kiss possible was stronger. This, by all means, resulted in Amy doing exactly so. Of course Jake responded to the gesture so naturally thus allowing his hands to freely roam her entire body, up, down and around. There was no stopping them. He loved her and she loved him. This she’d whisper, whimper, whine and moan into his ear, neck, lips and chest, multiple times in the course of the day’s final hours as they stumbled across the floor, through the doors of their apartment without a single care about the outside world.

That night, intertwined, showering each other with love and chasing away the remnants of despair, nothing else seemed of great, grave nor grievous importance. Maybe, yes, the hurting wasn’t entirely behind them yet, but even so, something about hurting for love and the life they wanted to build together seemed to make that fact acceptable. Hurting also meant they were fighting, ultimately meaning that they weren’t giving up.

Hurting was hard, but also important for the process, and doing it together, thankfully, did the difference between unbearable and acceptable.

Life was unpredictable, not everything was in their control, but, as long as they were with the right people, they could handle anything. And they were, since the very first day, stuck across from each other as bickering partners at the Nine-Nine, the right people for each other.

#peraltiago #peraltiago fanfiction #Jake and Amy #jake x amy #Brooklyn Nine-Nine #b99 #fanfiction #oneshot #angst #trying #baby peraltiago

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scientistowengottlieb-newtkelly · 5 years ago

Note

Thoughts and feelings about Pacific Rim 2?

you sure you wanna open up that particular can of worms?

movie review time! be warned i'm not in a good mood as i am shaking in pain, however this review would have been scathing regardless. and none of this is to say pacific rim is perfect, it's not, but... aye, i have no words for the world of difference there. oh wait! i do:

so. first and foremost, i hate it. as both a movie and a sequel. did i find it entertaining? yes, mildly, so i suppose it did its job, however the only thing that keeps me watching it is because, simply, it's part of the pacific rim franchise whether we like it or not. therefore, i squeeze as much salvageable content from it as i can, such as how one might analyze the precursors, how we are to view hermann and newt as characters pre-, during, and post-uprising, what we are to expect from drifting (though this one i take with a grain of salt, there is a whole other rant preserved for the joke of an attempt to develop that shit within the movie)

one of my biggest issues with pacific rim is really simple: it plays out like DeKnight did not watch the first fucking movie or was scrolling through twitter while doing it and decided he'd make a cash grab since the first one was relatively popular. "haha the kaiju were going for mount fuji the whole time!!" bitch no they weren't!!! why the fuck did they end up anywhere near sydney, australia, then!!! why did they turn tail on places like manila and san fran instead of heading straight for japan!!! WHY DID THE ONE THAT WAS IN JAPAN NOT SUCCEED, THERE'S NO WAY WITH THOSE MARK 1 JAEGERS THEY'D HAVE BEEN ABLE TO REASONABLY FIGURE OUT THEIR PLAN AND WHERE THEY WERE GOING IN TIME TO STOP THEM!!! newt literally lays out what they are doing in the first movie and they completely ignored that!!! not to mention, if the destruction from elements found in mount fuji would have been enough to terraform the earth, WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST FUCKING DO THAT WHEN THEY WERE SUPPOSEDLY ON EARTH AGES AGO??? THERE WERE VOLCANOES WITH THOSE SAME ELEMENTS BEFORE RIGHT NOW, VOLCANOES ARE NOT A RELATIVELY NEW THING EARTH CREATED SUDDENLY AND I WOULD IMAGINE NEITHER ARE THOSE ELEMENTS!!! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! and.... okay the fucking drones. how did those bitches make breaches??? we know the breach is some result of precursor/kaiju technology, apparently they know the breach's atomic structure as hermann said in the first movie, but how tf some kaiju organs and tech from earth only is ALL it takes to open a breach... illudes and confuses me... why were no more breaches made by the precursors once they realized how long and how many resources it was taking to kill the humans off??? if it's??? shit they could do with simple earth materials + their own biology??? they could have ended things much faster??? shit just doesn't add up, idk, that was Vague and Annoyed Me

and the jaegers.... were....... strange? the fight scenes were so underwhelming, i could count on one hand the number of maneuvers—NOT SCENES, MANEUVERS—i thought were badass and moved well. their fighting was confusing and paced really weird and some of the moves they pulled... don't... work like that... like some of those scenes were just hand-to-hand combat but in big robot form and they didn't sit right with me at all.

and the characters......... oh my word, the characters. look: i love jake pentecost with all of my heart and soul and john boyega's beautiful acting just barely saves the movie from its poor writing. i do love him as a character. but can someone explain to me why in the world they thought it was a good idea to make the only black guy a black market thief/runner, deep-record criminal with daddy and authority issues, and who they dare try to play off as some kind of lazy??? they made him every stereotype they could and said "yeah let's go with that". i'm- aaaaaaaaaaaaaa and what was with the child soldiers??? ROBOCOPS?????? mako....... character assassination at its worst........ my baby......... but the movie was paced so GOD DAMN POORLY I GOT BORED AND LITERALLY MISSED HER DYING THE FIRST TIME I WATCHED IT. and i couldn't tell you the names of half of those poor damn kids, i really couldn't. and can i also say they killed off one of the only two darker skinned kids?? like y'all???? the other darker skinned kids (one of the children i can't remember the names of because it was uttered ONCE in the entire movie or some shit) didn't even GET characterization. my whole heart goes out to her and those other underdeveloped fucks. speaking of...... i am ashamed about jules. from the movie that brought us the mako mori test, they threw in a girl simply for the sake of some shitty, awkward, and unexplained love triangle between jake and White Angst without much else to put to her name. she deserved better. amara was... a decent shot, but very hit or miss because of the writing. i, personally, am very neutral about her leaning towards liking her, but i know people who swing love and who swing hate. liwen was like,,,, they tried really hard to make her unlikable at the beginning because "oh no, she must be the villain! GOTTEM plot twist!!!" and then suddenly she's no longer. threatening everyone except newt. idk i feel like they leaned to heavily one way and i got whiplash when she's actually another but there was nothing to... portray that. at all. i do like her character, and that says a lot because they got me to sympathize with a capitalist without actually regretting it later, but there could/should have been More there. she was powerful, though, in multiple different aspects, and we saw that from her CONSISTENTLY and i 😳🥵👀💕 mako mori test pass for her

now, let's talk about hermann (and by extention, newton, however he'll be getting a section all his own the rat bastard). that man is one of the single instances of decent cross-movie characterization i saw in the whole god damn film. the idea that he takes on newton's roles, that he is more outspoken for himself, that he is just slightly more unhinged after his drift with newton: THAT is on point. he's himself, you can see it, you still know that he's hermann with ever step, but there's something that has shifted in him in those 10 years and it's good without being too much. the "i still get nightmares" scene, the way he presents himself, that scene gives me chills because god bless burn gorman and his acting ability. every face and intonation of his voice is just wonderful and i think his performance was great for what he was given. king shit.

the biggest disappointment of my life came in the form of a kaiju vest wearing bitch at work. at his corporate job. as a boss. for a tech company that undermines all of his and, frankly, hermann's work over their lifetimes. 10 years older and exaggerated to the teeth. newton "move you fascist" geiszler. let me preface this by stating for all to see that i do not hate the idea of newton being the villain. story wise it was a bold move and there was something possible there. BUT THE IMPLICATION THAT ONE OF THE MOST OBVIOUSLY NEURODIVERGENT CHARACTERS IN THE WHOLE FUCKING FRANCHISE, ESPECIALLY GIVEN THAT HE HAS BEEN CHARACTERIZED AS HAVING A "BORDERLINE MANIC PERSONALITY" AKA HAVING ONE OF THE MOST DEMONIZED MENTAL ILLNESSES OUT THERE, ENDS UP ACTING AS THE GOD DAMN VILLAIN OF THE STORY IS A HOT GARBAGE TAKE WHEN YOU FACTOR IN THINGS LIKE POOR WRITING NOT MAKING IT CLEAR WHETHER OR NOT NEWTON IS EVEN IN CONTROL OF HIS OWN FACULTIES AND THE VAGUENESS OF "WILL HE BE 'REDEEMED' OR NOT" BEING UP IN THE AIR LIKELY NEVER TO BE CANONICALLY FUCKING ANSWERED BECAUSE BECKHAM AND DEKNIGHT SHAT OUT A MOVIE THAT BOMBED IN THE BOX OFFICE. we aren't even gonna TALK about the fact that this bitch got AWAY with it despite not even acting in a remotely stable way comparable to himself in the first movie in the 10 years he supposedly dropped off the map from all of his friends because, clearly, hermann hadn't seen him or he wouldn't be so excited with a picture of the two of them on his desk, nor would he have to tell newton about his idea for rocket thrusters with kaiju blood fuel because he would have simply written to him about it. for some strange reason people see his ass show up decked out in a suit he wouldn't even wear for Stacker Fucking Pentecost and a behavior of "Haha Gotta Listen To The Boss" and think "ah, yes, well, time changes a person. THIS BITCH HAS APPARENTLY BEEN LIKE THIS THE WHOLE TIME, YOU THINK HE GOT A JOB WITH LIWEN LOOKING AND ACTING LIKE HE DID BEFORE AND THERE WAS A SHIFT OVER TIME? NO, HE HAD TO HAVE CHANGED IN A SPLIT DECISION AND LIED ABOUT HIMSELF THROUGH HIS TEETH AND NO ONE CONTACTED HIM, OR WAS WORRIED ABOUT HIM, OR DECIDEDLY THOUGHT "YOU KNOW, HE MAY BE EMBOLDENED THAT HE SAVED THE WORLD, BUT I THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT WOULD HAVE THE EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT ON HIM AND HE WOULD DO HIS BEST TO AMPLIFY HIS CURRENT STANDING TRAITS. LISTENING TO AND KISSING THE BOOT OF AUTHORITY FIGURES? DIVORCING HIMSELF FROM HIS WORK WITH KAIJU XENOBIOLOGY THAT EVEN HERMANN PICKED UP? TO BECOME THE THING HE HATES? AND FOR WHAT? MONEY? FAME? BITCH WHO ARE YOU?" unreasonable. ridiculous attempt to do this just for a plot twist that was underwhelming at best. i've decided to stick to the fan theory that he was not in control 99% of the time but literally that movie causes such a hellfire path to appear in my wake as i think about it because i know people who don't take it like that and think newt wants what's happening because "haha horny kaiju man" and i wish to scream at the top of my lungs because this is exactly WHY you CANNOT spare ANY EXPENSE to the GOOD, PROPER, INTRICATE directing and writing of a character who is neurodivergent and also ONE OF THE CENTERS OF NOT JUST THE MOVIE YOU'RE WRITING, BUT THE FUCKING MOVIE AFTER THAT. i could go on but i sincerely don't fucking want to, despite how long i've been waiting for someone to willingly hear me out on all of this. all i'll say is if by some miracle they are greenlit for a third film and deknight's working on it and i see ANY sign of a bury your gays end for newt, i'm going to commit the first hate crime against a cishet white male.

to end, the only valid kaiju in that movie was the mega-kaiju, i don't remember the appearance or the names of the three that got through the breaches but the mega-kaiju could kill me and i'd die happy 🥰 beautiful design, that scale comparison when it came face to face with newt? amazing, chills, *chef's kiss* there are exactly two things i liked about uprising and that bitch is one of them.

sorry if this isn't what you wanted, but as i said i am in a bit of a bad mood and have been curled up in bed trying not to think that i'm dying and i've repressed all of this for a couple months now and very few people have actually heard PORTIONS of my frustration so. here it is.

#rowboat speaks #i'm gonna go puke now #or just. fall asleep on the bathroom floor or something.#pacific rim #pacific rim uprising

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neerasrealm · 4 years ago

Text

Into The Woods - Chapter Fifteen

Story also available on Wattpad.

Chapter One Previous Chapter

Dying

''Y'all! I'm home!'' Nina called as she stepped into her house. It had been a while since she'd actually had someone to come home to, since Chris attended boarding school during the week. Liu poked his head out of the living room and smiled at her. He stepped into the hall.

''Hey Nina.'' he greeted warmly.

''Hey Louis,'' Nina dropped her school bag and walked over to him. ''I got y'all some stuff.'' she said, reaching into the paper bag she held in her other arm. Liu tilted his head at her as she pulled out a small box and handed it to him. He squinted. ''They're contact lenses. Ya said that you lost yer glasses. Hopefully they work for ya.''

Liu blinked in surprise. ''Oh! Yeah-! Thanks Nina.'' he smiled at her, then stepped past her. ''I'll go put 'em on. Jake's in the living room.''

''Alright.'' Nina watched him run up the stairs before walking into the living room. ''Hey cap'n.'' she greeted. Jeff looked from the tv to her. He frowned.

''...Captain?'' Jeff looked at her. His voice was rough, and a little nasally from his stuffed nose and sore throat.

''Yeah. Like a pirate,'' she pointed to one of her eyes. ''Because of yer eyepatch.'' she grinned at him. Jeff laughed gently.

''Oh.'' he smiled at her. ''How was school?'' he asked, tilting his head.

''Eh...it was fine.'' she walked over to the armchair by the window and put the paper bag in between her legs. She dug around in it and pulled out a couple things. More eyedrops, painkillers, extra bandages and...snacks. Specifically a box of snoballs. Jeff's eye widened in excitement and he sat up a bit. Nina smirked, noticing his excitement. ''Ya like these too?'' she asked. Jeff nodded. ''They're my favorite.''

''I'm more of a cup cake kinda guy- oh! Have you ever tried the mermaid ones they did?''

Nina nodded. ''Those were gooood.''

''I know right?'' Jeff smiled. ''Wish they'd bring em back...''

''They probably will,'' Nina shrugged. ''They only limit 'em so they sell more.'' she said as she opened the box. She pulled out a snoball and tossed it over to Jeff. it bounced off of him and landed on the ground beside the couch. He reached down and grabbed it, dusting off the plastic packaging.

''They do?''

''Yeah. It's a marketing tactic.'' Nina murmured as she chewed on her own snoball. Jeff frowned.

''Huh...'' he mumbled.

They sat there in silence for a bit, just eating until they were interrupted by footsteps running down the stairs. Liu leaned into the living room, grinning from ear to ear. Jeff looked at him curiously. ''The contact lenses work!'' he chirped. Jeff smiled wide.

''You can see?'' he asked excitedly.

''Yup!''

''...how do I look?''

Liu laughed. ''Just as cool as I remember you.'' he replied, shooting a finger gun at his brother. Jeff snickered.

''Nice.''

''Here, Louis.'' Nina threw a snoball across the room. Unlike his brother, Liu actually managed to catch it.

''Thanks.'' He said as he strode across the room and sat down on the arm of the couch across from where Jeff lay. ''How was school?'' he asked while chewing on the marshmallow-y snack.

''Jake already asked me that.'' Nina said with a soft laugh. She yawned and flopped against the armchair. ''It was alright...long...'' she sighed. She tapped her fingers against the arm of the chair and looked at the two brothers. She shifted where she sat. ''Y'all hungry? I can make dinner.''

''Yeah actually I'm sta-''

''Nina,'' Liu interrupted. ''I could make dinner instead.''

''Huh?'' Nina frowned. ''Ya don't gotta. Yer my guest.''

''Yeah but...you're letting us stay here. And you were at school all day. I don't mind doing some cooking,'' he smiled at her. ''Think of it as payment.''

Nina paused for a moment, then smiled. ''Alright...'' she murmured. ''There's a jar of bolognese sauce in one of the cupboards. Ya can fry up some mince and do some pasta.''

Liu gave a nod and stood up, leaving the room. He walked into the kitchen and went through the cupboards. He set down the bolognese sauce, package of pasta and box of mince meat he'd pulled from the fridge. It had been a long time since he'd cooked something- in a kitchen at least. He glanced at Nina's apron, which was hanging off the kitchen door. He walked over and took it, putting it on. He felt a little guilty taking it without asking her but- well he was wearing clean clothes for the first time in a good while and he wanted to keep them that way for as long as possible.

''Hey Nina?'' Jeff asked from his spot on the couch. Nina glanced from the TV to him.

''Huh?''

''How long did you say your mom would be gone?'' he tilted his head at her. ''You said she's on a trip, right?''

Nina looked surprised for a moment. She put her hands in her pockets and looked back at the TV. ''A couple weeks, probably.'' she murmured. ''She- goes to visit my grandma every couple months.'' she smiled at Jeff. ''She'll be back.''

''Will we have to leave when she gets back....?'' Jeff asked, frowning sadly. Nina blinked.

''Yer thinkin' of leavin' already?''

''No but-'' Jeff shrugged. ''I just thought of it earlier...that we'd have to leave.''

Nina shook her head. ''Relax, Jake, there's no point in gettin' yerself worked up over that.'' she gave him a reassuring smile. ''Focus on gettin' better first, okay?''

Jeff looked away. ''Alright...'' he murmured. Nina frowned and sat up.

''Here.'' she said, tossing him another snoball. ''I probably shouldn't be feedin' ya before dinner but- I think ya deserve it.'' Jeff laughed gently and opened the packaging.

''Thanks.''

Liu grabbed three bowls from the cupboard and laid them out. He filled them up with noodles, then poured in big helpings of bolognese and fried mince. He grated on a small bit of pepper, then grabbed a sprinkler of parmesan. He sprinkled a good amount onto his bowl, a literal ton onto Jeff's, and just a regular amount for Nina's. He took off the apron and hung it up where he'd found it, then grabbed a tray and put the bowls onto it.

"Dinner's done." He said as he walked into the living room with the tray. Jeff sat up and eyed the food. His appetite still wasn't completely back- especially after eating the two snoballs, but the spaghetti smelled good and familiar. At least he assumed it did. His nose was blocked.

"We're eatin' in 'ere?" Nina asked. Liu nodded.

"Since Jeff can't get up," he gestured to his brother. "We can't eat without him."

Nina looked at Jeff and softened. "Right. I forgot."

"You think I'm lying here for fun or something?" Jeff asked, sounding offended.

"Yeah."

Liu snickered to himself and handed a bowl to his brother. Jeff smiled wide and looked at him. "Thanks bro." He murmured. Liu gave him a soft smile and ruffled the boy's hair affectionately.

It was mostly silent as the three of them just- ate. Nina still found it amusing how quickly Liu and Jeff ate. She couldn't blame them though. As far as she could tell, they hadn't had a stable food source in a while. It was reassuring to see them actually eating.

"Hey Li- Louis?" Jeff broke the silence. Liu looked up. "Me and Nina were just talking about hair dye and uh- she offered to do mine," Jeff seemed to hesitate. "Do you think I could...?"

Liu paused for a moment. Jeff dyeing his hair could be useful. It'd reduce the chance of him getting recognized. And hey, if it made him happy, why not? "What colour?" Liu asked, tilting his head.

"My mom has a box of black dye upstairs. She's not around so...she won't mind us borrowing it." Nina winked at the two of them. Liu smiled.

"Go for it then."He said Jeff broke into a wide, WIDE smile. He looked the happiest he'd been in weeks. Liu chuckled gently. "Wait till after dinner though, okay?"

"Okay!"

"Yer gonna hafta help me haul 'im up the stairs." Nina said. Liu smirked a bit.

"Sure."

After eating and hauling Jeff upstairs, Liu cleared up their plates and cleaned down the kitchen. He looked out the window as he dried off the trying pan he'd used earlier. This felt...nice. peaceful. A normal life, almost. His thoughts were interrupted by the muffled sound of laughter coming from upstairs. He smiled fondly and stared up at the ceiling. Jeff seemed happy here. Happier than he'd ever been at home, and Nina was unbelievably nice to the both of them. Jeff was comfortable around her, he talked to her without needing to be pushed. As Liu walked up the stairs he wondered if- maybe Nina counted as a friend. Jeff's first friend.

"So the three of them are ganging up on us right? So I run forward and hit one of 'em with a left hook!" Jeff was talking excitedly while Nina applied dye to his hair.

"Wow," she murmured. "That's awful brave of ya."

"Uh-huh!" He grinned. "I used to do wrestling, so I'm pretty good in a fight."

Liu leaned away from the bathroom door and against the wall. He frowned. Nina was Jeff's friend. His first ever friend...a friend he couldn't keep.

#creepypasta #creepypasta fanfic #creepypasta fanfiction #writing #jeff the killer #jeffery woods #jtk #creepypasta jtk #liu woods #homicidal liu #nina hopkins #nina the killer

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darlinrogue · 4 years ago

Note

He and Adam don’t spar often. But Kenny’s teasing (that was perhaps a bit too real) about the go home show before the Stadium Stampede match while sitting in on Adam’s work out session led to Adam, sweaty and smiling, spearing him to the mat. And off they went—until Adam groans low in his throat, knee almost buckling from what Kenny recognizes as pain. "Shit." He grabs Adam’s shoulder, forcing him to lean against him to ease the strain. "I know your knee’s bothered you before. I’m sorry—"

Sol and Gina Ignore Their Muses Going Off The Deep-end By Reminiscing On Better Times

Adam and Kenny

Metal struck metal and the bar returned to the rack. Face red, sweat soaking his skin and abdomen, Adam huffed, lungs compressing to catch his breath. He slapped his palms against his chest, a satisfying ache working in his muscles and bones as he sat-up. Blood in his veins, heartbeat on the upswing. Adam pawed down at his side for his water bottle. His blind fingers gripped the plastic bottle and he lifted it to his parched lips to take a swig. Bright morning light spilled into the hotel gym and ignited the dust flurries, stirred-up by the whirling fans. The weight room smelled of sweat, disinfectant, and that weird, rubber scent that came off the floor mats. Adam glanced at his partner, perched on a weight bench a few feet away. Sweat beaded at his hairline and his chest red from exertion.

Unladen by a hangover, Kenny had woken-up before Adam, hit the weights before Adam, and finished his work-out before Adam. According to Kenny that meant he had earned the right to heckle as Adam, twenty minutes behind, finished his own reps. Instead of getting breakfast or attending to any important EVP duties, of course. It was like Adam had a personal peanut gallery of one. In the middle of some lunges that Kenny commentated on like it was a live match, Adam had thrown in Kenny’s face the accusation that Kenny had better things to do. An idea Kenny denied with gusto. The early bird got to throw the potshots, as they say. This was partner bonding time and Adam would have to put up with it.

"You know,” Kenny began with a laugh, all grin, teeth flashing white. He rested his hand on his knee and a quick jitter shook his finger. “I can’t believe you were late to save me last night! Me, your tag-team partner of--” Kenny counted on his fingers, brow furrowing, lips moving and muttering under his breath.

“Seven months?” Adam supplied and almost smacked himself for being helpful.

“Seven months! Seven months! And you were late!” Kenny exclaimed. “All because you had to make a dramatic entrance. You may as well have ridden in on horseback, or something!”

“Now there’s an idea,” Adam muttered, as he pressed to his feet.

It was quite the image. Adam Page, in chaps and cowboy boots, chasing down the Inner Circle astride a noble steed. Like the lone ranger or a real John Wayne type. It was the kinda thing that made his inner child ecstatic. Shit, his inner twenty-nine year old was excited about it. A chuckle and a shake of his head dislodged the thought. Adam exchanged his water bottle for the towel folded at his feet. He mopped sweat off his back and neck. As he walked by Kenny he weaponized the towel to swat at his partner.

“Hey, a little sympathy here!” Kenny protested. His hands and arms lifted, but he dipped back on the bench so the towel whiffed. Kenny clutched at his stomach. “Didn’t I get kidnapped last night? Held down while I was savagely beaten by the vicious and cruel Inner Circle? They had a baseball bat!”

“Didn’t I see you doing deadlifts earlier?” Adam returned. From a stack on the back wall, he grabbed a couple of plates. He returned to add the extra weights to the bar. An eyebrow lifted as he glanced over his shoulder at Kenny. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you’re just milking it for the pity, Kenny.”

Kenny giggled, a low rumble, deep in his chest as his hand smoothed over his mouth. Mischief glinted in his eyes, playful. Missed that grin and Kenny’s crooked tooth. Missed human interaction in general. Human brains were hardwired to be around people and Adam was no exception. Isolation didn’t settle him even if it was quieter, safer. Twenty-four hours after his return to civilization and Adam felt, better. He was grinning more, his head clearer, his thoughts sharper, and his energy higher. Like his whole mood was on the upswing. Made him want to gather the boys and go chill in a hotel room like they used to. Talking trash and shooting the breeze over room service. But, he couldn’t and he wouldn’t because that was a terrible, dangerous idea. Because it wasn’t like it used to be and it never was going to be again.

Didn’t mean he didn’t miss it.

Adam left for a couple of weeks to have an existential breakdown in the woods and everything goes to Hell in a handbasket. He returned yesterday morning, unaware and blissful, to attend medical checks and production meetings. Everything he had to do to clear him for TV next week. Adam had crept the halls, careful to avoid his entire stable, who’d been collectively on mute for a whole month. It wasn’t personal --well, in the Buck’s case it kinda was-- his brain was just fried dough at the start of April and answering a phone required a lot of emotional labor he was not capable of. Then, fresh out of the doctor’s office, Adam heard by the grapevine that his partner was tied to a goalpost in the football field and getting the ever-loving crap beaten out of him. Like any good cowboy, Adam hitched his britches and scooted down there to kick ass. Kenny was mostly unharmed, thanks to the prompt efforts of the Bucks and Matt Hardy, of all people. At best, Adam got the cool satisfaction of hitting Jake Hager with a fifty-yard buckshot lariat. Even if he almost pulled his leg in the process. Now, Matt Jackson summoned him for a big, crazy match the Elite had cooked-up to put the Inner Circle down for good on Saturday. If Chris Jericho had hit anyone else with a baseball, Adam may’ve said ‘no,’ but he hit Kenny.

And that just would not stand.

Adam squeezed the clamps tight and secured the extra weight. He planted his sneaker on the edge of the bench and pushed it out of the way, the legs dragging on the concrete. Adam stepped under the bar and settled the cold, biting metal across his shoulders. He adjusted his grip, inched his feet-out past shoulder width, and tightened through his core. Adam lifted the bar off the rack. For a second he stood there, letting his body accustom to the weight. Then he sunk down, knees bending, center of balance tipping into his heels. He counted the reps underneath his breath, as he exhaled on each squat. On nine, he dipped, and at the bottom, his knee clicked. A pull in what felt like the muscle atop the joint, that bit with pain. Adam shifted his stance and widened his feet as he pushed back up. Kenny, quiet now on the bench, watched him, expression placid, inspecting. Adam rose and he completed his final squat, but he didn’t fall as low. The bar returned to the rack and Adam rolled out his ankle. He massaged his knee and rubbed his hand down his thigh, soothing the tense muscles. Adam straightened, walk it off, moving on, it was fine.

“You know, they basically tortured me, right?” Kenny intoned, suddenly, breaking Adam’s fussing thoughts over his knee. Kenny stood, gesturing broadly and dramatically. “That had to violate some international agreement, cruel and unusual punishment. Maybe I deserve that pity, c’mon, Adam, at least a little sympathy.”

Adam slipped out from under the bar. He had some bicep curls he was supposed to do and then he’d be done but he was noticing the open mat behind Kenny. Black, two inches thick, only a little more forgiving than the concrete underneath it. Probably laid out to do calisthenics on. Kenny and Adam had taken bumps on harder surfaces. Adam hooked his thumb in his waistband, and he chuckled, shaking his head.

“I must have the cruelest tag partner ever!” Kenny whined. “I get hit with a baseball bat and he doesn’t even care!”

“I’m starting to think you’re never gonna let this go,” Adam said, he picked up his water bottle and took a swig. He stepped closer to Kenny, closing the gap between them. “Just because I wasn’t first to save your dumb ass, how did Chris even catch you in the first place?”

“I was following a trail of figurines,” Kenny elaborated. Adam chuckled, ducking his head, thumb running over his mouth to hide his grin. “Leading right out to the field. You didn’t even ask if I was okay before you left?! Some knight in shining armor you are.”

“Are you okay, Kenny?” Adam asked, glancing-up. There was genuine concern in the question even if Adam’s grin was half-cocked.

Kenny’s bottom lip jutted out, obviously not pleased with this. “I told you I’m hurt, Page.”

Adam wasn't sure if he was talking about physical or emotional wounds, maybe both. A couple hits to the gut wouldn’t put down Kenny Omega. Not when he could see them coming and brace. This morning Kenny said he was fine if a little sore. Adam decided this was typical Kenny antics and dramatics. If he was able to whine like this, Adam had to assume he was fine.

“You want me to kiss it and make it better?” Adam asked.

“Don’t make fun of me!” Kenny put his hands on his hips. He wagged his finger. “For that, you owe me a real kiss.”

“Yeah, ok,” Adam said. He jutted his chin out. “Just close your eyes. If you start to look at me I’ll get embarrassed, or something.”

Kenny grinned, nodded his head, and tapped his finger against his cheek. He closed his eyes, and interlaced his hands in front of him, waiting for Adam to plant one. Instead, Adam bounced on his toes, braced his back leg, and broke into a sprint. Adam tackled Kenny around the middle. One arm hooked around Kenny’s abdomen and the other scooped his leg. An absurd, squawking noise, ripped from Kenny’s throat akin to a chicken caught with its leg in a bear trap, as Adam tackled him. The two men crashed to the mat in a heap of limbs. Adam hooked Kenny’s far leg and rolled him up, his full weight bearing down on Kenny’s shoulders.

“One! Two! Three!” Adam barked and then broke from the pin. He fell back on his hip, laughing. There were tears in his eyes and his chest hurt. He swung his leg around into a kneel, hand pressing against his knee to balance himself.

“I hate you, you son of a bitch!” Kenny flipped upright, arms flailing and cursing up a storm. “You son of a bitch! You son of a bitch!”

Adam shoved at Kenny’s shoulder, while Kenny smacked at his shins. Adam cracked with more laughter. This was the kinda shit that was going to get him in meetings later. Kenny caught Adam’s hand by the wrist though and turned it over, twisting Adam’s arm all the way to the shoulder. Kenny slipped under Adam’s arm and rose to his feet as he locked Adam’s elbow, hand braced on Adam’s tricep.

“Ah-ha!” Kenny laughed, that noise turned into a strangled, “oof,” when Adam drove his shoulder into Kenny’s stomach.

Adam stepped into the armbar to leverage the limb from Kenny’s grip. He reached over his own head to hook the back of Kenny’s neck and then scoop-up Kenny’s far leg. Adam stood as he drew Kenny’s full weight across his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. Kenny squirmed, and wiggled, shoving his hands against Adam’s head to free himself. They separated, hands up, skirting away from each other with quick and frantic footwork. For a second, Kenny and Adam stared at each other, both frozen, eyes locked, breathing heavy and faces flushed. Adam shifted his weight left and Kenny shifted right. Then to the right and to the left-- Kenny rushed in, leading with an open hand jab. His palm swiped Adam’s cheek before Adam reacted. A quick guard, skirting under Kenny’s hands, he tapped him twice in the ribs before darting off to the side.

Kenny was so quick, staying on his toes, darting in and out. Adam used his elbows to stuff kicks thrown for his sides. It was nothing but a quick round of open hand slap boxing, small taps, or pokes to find opportunities. When Adam stepped in for a hook though, Kenny dropped in front of him like a sack of bricks, long before Adam made contact. Kenny rolled from a low kneel onto his hip. One foot hooked behind Adam’s ankle and he wedged his heel against the top of Adam’s thigh. Adam’s leg locked and he fell back, arms pushing in front of his chest as he tucked his chin for the fall. There was a laugh in his mouth as he flattened against the mat but the twinge that ran up his leg registered as pain. That muscle or tendon, or whatever, in his knee had pulled again. He vocalized it, grunting low in his chest. Suddenly, all the pressure on Adam’s joint abated. Kenny was at his side, pulling at his shoulder, elbow wedged in the mat so he could cup Adam’s cheek.

“You okay?!” Worry bit Kenny’s tone, he searched Adam's face. He adjusted his hand to grip at Adam’s neck and shoulder. “Did I hurt you?!”

“It’s fine-- I’m fine,” Adam sat-up, waving Kenny off. Kenny’s arm hooked around his shoulders, pulling Adam against his chest. Adam’s hand reached down for his knee and it pulsed beneath his touch. Not too painful, just stiff, and a little pulled he decided. An old injury flaring up again. “Just tweaked my knee is all, I’ll be fine.”

Kenny held tight to Adam’s shoulder, nails blunt against Adam’s skin. He pulled Adam across his lap so that Adam rested against his thighs. Pawing for a grip, Adam braced his hand against Kenny's leg and sat-up further. He watched as Kenny relinquished his grip on Adam to reach for his knee. With a discerning eye, Kenny investigated the injury, jaw worked tight. Despite himself, Adam scowled, lips pressing thin as Kenny worked his fingers over the joint, the top of his calf and thigh. He grunted when Kenny pushed his thumb into the sore tendon. Adam flinched and cursed under his breath. He jerked his leg out of Kenny’s grip. "Ah, Jesus man."

There was an apology at the tip of Kenny's lips.

“I’m fine, it’s fine, it’s no big deal,” Adam breathed. He hooked his good leg under him and rolled onto his hip. Careful not to flex the pulled leg, he pushed onto his feet. Kenny’s hands were on his shoulders, under his arm to keep him balanced. “Kenny, you’re overreacting.”

“Heck, no I’m not, you’re like a cat, dude,” Kenny snapped. Adam’s brow furrowed as he looked up at him. “You know, like a cat? A cat gets hurt or sick, and they act like nothing’s wrong, you know play it cool, you can’t tell the difference, but they’re not okay. They’re just acting like that so they don’t get--” The crease between Adam’s eyes had only depended. “Oh, never mind! I’m taking you back to your hotel room, so we can get some ice on that.”

“Kenny, seriously,” Adam said. He put his hand on Kenny’s bicep and drew to his full height. Even as he crooked his leg under him to avoid putting his weight on it. He could feel it, this was a sleep-it-off thing. No big deal, he’d be fine for Saturday, and there was no reason to care about it beyond that. “It’s cool, I’m fine, chill out, man. I’ll walk it off. Look, I’ve already done cardio, weights, everything today, and I’ve been fine.”

“Mhmm, no, nope, I don’t think so,” Kenny countered, he shook his head. He had already swiped-up Adam’s towel and water bottle in one hand, handed Adam his shirt with the other. “I can either carry you back, bridal style, right across the lobby, or you take my arm and we limp back together.” To emphasize his point he offered his arm.

“Oh, really?” Adam asked. He yanked on his shirt

Kenny was in a mood, eyes locked on his face, and not moving from his position in front of Adam. When Kenny got an idea like this, there was no stopping him. Even a slight press of weight on his knee though and an ache spread through his thigh. Adam could make it back to his room but he’d be doing it on a limp. All while making an entire ship of hardened sailors blush. Which would suck but Adam had had much, much worse, in his time. Not that the image of him, cradled in Kenny’s strong arms, as he marched across the crowded lobby to the shock and awe of the guests, wasn’t appealing-- but Adam would rather take the arm.

“Alright, fine, okay, but you are making too big of a deal of this, for the record,” Adam said, yet, he hooked his hand around Kenny’s opposite shoulder. Kenny wrapped his hand around Adam’s waist, pulling him hip-to-hip so Adam leaned his weight on him. In his head, Adam told his stuttering heart to shut the fuck. “As soon as you leave I’m just going to go about my day, like normal, you know that right?”

“Guess I can’t leave you alone all day then,” Kenny joked, as he took the first step. He watched carefully as Adam leaned into him on the second stride, avoiding his right leg. “Don’t we deserve a rest day?”

“Don’t you have a job?” Adam countered. Kenny used his hip to push open the door of the gym and they limped together across the lobby. A couple of kids by the check-out desk watched them pass. Adam stuck out his tongue and the little girl stuck out her tongue back. “You know production, for a big pay-per-view, this Saturday? Ringing any bells? Hitting Chris Jericho with a trash can, maybe?”

“Eh, they’ll call me if they need me,” Kenny shrugged.

At the far end of a hall Kenny pressed the call button for the elevator and a second later the doors chimed open. In the confines, of the small, empty space, Adam and Kenny could untangle. Instead, they stood there, watching the floors rise. Kenny tightened his grip on Adam’s hip, fingers pressed into his side. The gesture was almost possessive and demanding, that Adam stay. Adam was wondering if all this was more for Kenny’s benefit than his own.

It wasn’t like he had his phone out in the wilderness. The improvised camping trip was a spur of the moment, making use of a couple of weeks of vacation he had saved up. All the suits knew where Adam was and what he was doing, it was all above board. Kenny would just do some singles stuff. And, Adam, would get time to sit by a running creek with a cracking fire, with nothing but his thoughts. This past year had been shit. He’d been a bad friend. He’d screwed up, he’d become tag-champion. But in the woods, it was just Adam and that tiny frog he spotted on a log before he went to bed one night. Just a tiny frog, doing tiny frog things on a log. Tiny frog did not care about the Inner Circle kicking the shit out of the Elite or title defenses. It just wanted to eat some flies. Adam wished he could be more like that tiny frog.

Without the eating flies bit though.

Maybe, maybe, Kenny missed him and this was his way of making up for that lost time. Hanging around while Adam worked out or by taking care of his ‘injuries.’ The guilt that he should’ve been in the street fight with Kenny, or on the field first, blunted by Kenny’s concern. They’d been apart for a while. Maybe, this was what they needed before they walked face-first into a brawl.

The doors opened and they traded spots with a businessman in a three-piece. Adam had no idea his hotel hallway was this long, but it took forever to reach his door at the end of it on his bum leg. Kenny only relinquished his hold on Adam long enough for Adam to open the door with the card key. Adam worked the key back into his wallet and the wallet back into his pocket. Before Kenny could grab him again though, Adam shouldered open the door and walked into the room. He flinched on the first step, growling to himself as pain shot up his leg. Prepared for the hit though, Adam’s next stride was more confident and he was about ready to turn around, to joke it wasn’t that bad, to assuage Kenny. Two hands landed on his shoulder.

“Oh, no, not on my watch,” Kenny grunted, “no, sir.”

He hooked Adam’s arm around his neck and all but carried him the last couple steps to the bed. Even as Adam rolled his eyes almost out of their socket. Adam sat down on the covers, swinging his leg up to cross at the ankle, brow lifted. He interlaced his fingers on his stomach, and looked-up at Kenny with resigned exhaustion. As if to say, ‘ok, now what?’

“You stay, I’m going to get some ice,” Kenny said, pointing at Adam. He pulled back a step. Eyes locked on Adam, still pointing, backing-up slowly. “I mean it, stay, don’t move, if I come back and you’ve moved a muscle, a singular muscle, one iota of a muscle, oh, ho ho, you’ll be in big trouble!”

Kenny had backed all the way to the door, not taking his eyes off Adam, and he pawed at the handle behind him. Adam watched his hand miss and Kenny admit that he had to turn around to open the door. Yet, even then Kenny still turned back and made a double-eye gesture between Adam and himself.

“Hey, Kenny,” Adam said. He removed his wallet from his pocket and flashed the card key. “Think you might need this? You know, so I don't have to get up and let you in when you lock yourself out."

Kenny paused, then marched back into the room to snatch the card key. “Thank you very much-- and no moving!”

“Will, you just fucking go?” Adam snapped.

The door closed behind Kenny. For a second Adam laid there, braced-up against the pillows and hand pattering a random rhythm against his thigh. He listened to the traffic outside, the tick-tock of the wall clock, and the distant murmur of voices elsewhere in the hotel. Last night, in his exhausted stupor, Adam had left his phone to ‘charge’ on the dresser. Except he forgot to plug it in and so this morning -- shockingly-- the phone was not charged. He had left it in his room to juice-up while he worked-out and now, his eyes flicked to where it sat on the other side of the room. Adam slid off the bed, limped over to the desk, cursing his leg again, and picked-up the phone. He flicked through some Twitter notifications, messaged his mom. Adam braced his foot on the chair, and rubbed at his knee, scowling to himself at the bursts of pain. If he had been smart he wouldn’t have done squats today-- or did fewer weights. Instead, under the watchful eyes of his crush, Adam had decided to show off.

It wasn’t a big deal. He’d fought through way worse, and at best, this was annoyance that would put a slight hitch in his step for a day. If he went to the trainers they’d put him in a compression sleeve and tell him to dial back. A small pulled knee wasn't anything to fuss over.

The latch on the door clicked. With a pep to his step, Adam hurried back to the bed. He settled down just as Kenny pushed open the door. A bag of ice swung from his far hand and he stepped into the bathroom to grab a towel. Adam laid his phone down at his side and pressed the off-button as Kenny crossed the room over to him.

“You didn’t move did you?” Kenny asked. He sat on the edge of the bed and wrapped the towel around Adam’s knee.

“Uh, no,” Adam said. Kenny’s eyes flicked to Adam’s hand and the phone tucked against his palm.“Not a muscle.”

Kenny placed the bag of ice on Adam’s leg. “How’s that?”

“That’s-- fine,” Adam murmured. “Thanks, man.”

“Hey, no problem, that’s what partners are supposed to do, right?” Kenny asked, grinning. He straightened and rolled out his shoulders.

Adam scooted over on the bed and patted beside him. Kenny stared at him for a second, blinking kinda like a goldfish, before he swung his legs up and settled on the mattress next to Adam. They sat elbow-to-elbow, shoulder-to-shoulder, staring at the blank TV and far wall together. They both smelled like sweat and generic guy, not a pretty cocktail of scents. Yet, the camaraderie, the closeness, the human contact, set Adam’s skin on fire, fingers tingling. Like he’d been sober for too long and taken his first drink-- totally overwhelming. Adam scrubbed his hand down his face. Then he nudged Kenny with his elbow.

“Seriously, though man, you okay?” Adam asked. “Like, no bullshit, and not just about last night. I know I’ve been, I’ve been out for a bit and kinda left you in a lurch.”

“I had my first street fight,” Kenny commented. He hooked his leg underneath him.

“How’d that go?” Adam asked.

“Evidently, it looked like my first street fight,” Kenny laughed. “I hate to admit it, but I'm not that hardcore. But, no, I’ve been good, fine, missing you-- missing this thing we had. I mean Matt Hardy’s wonderful and all, and it’s not like I would ever turn down the chance to tag with one of the greats but-- it wasn’t the same. We really have something special, Page.”

“I fought Matt Hardy in a TLC in 2013,” Adam noted. “Weird to see him again now-- being so, weird.

“Really, how was that?” Kenny remarked.

“Oh, he kicked my ass,” Adam said. It was an impossible match against a man who’d been fighting longer than Adam had been alive. Small town boy dreaming big, he had really believed going in that he had a chance. “The promo I cut for that match? That’s how I pissed off the Decade.”

Adam paused, he remembered how Jimmy Jacobs verbally cut him down for daring to reach higher than Ring of Honor. The way BJ kicked his ass and insisted that Adam was squandering his potential. The first time Adam limped on a pulled knee and and how instead of an offered hand, Adam got a closed fist. Those old guys were brutal, violent, but they taught him. He learned, he learned really good, and evidently, those lessons stuck. Stuck better than anything his high school teachers or professors ever taught him. Never shake a hand of someone beneath you, or above you. Never show weakness. Never show fear and if you’re scared, get angry. Never turn your back on a friend, but especially not your enemies. Sometimes, it was so much, Adam needed to go into the woods to hide because he couldn’t wrap his head around all the crap he had learned.

Crazy, how those lessons stuck, four, almost five years later. How he lived them out with his partner, here, now. Trying to walk on a pulled leg and dismissing his pain. Dismissing the swirling thoughts in his head.

“It was strange though,” Adam admitted, it sounded like a sudden topic shift but it didn’t feel that way to him “Like the whole time I was out there, on my own, camping --And I mean, I was just in the Appalachian, I’d been camping there my whole life-- all I could think about was coming back. I should’ve been relaxing, but I just, I wanted to come back. It was kinda like, I don’t know-- there’s just been so much shit this past year, maybe, I thought I wouldn’t want to. I don’t know.”

He hoped Kenny knew because Adam didn’t know how else to explain it. Sitting out there with the frogs and crickets, listening to the stream babble. Hiking a few miles, setting up camp on a new rise, until he slogged back to his car, a slightly different man. For a day or two Adam could focus on the birds, the sky, the vast expanse of an empty woods. Then, his brain turned around and he was back in Jacksonville, Florida. Reliving those matches, thinking about his mistakes. The Bucks, Kenny, his destructive losses and his self-destructive responses. An eight ounce of Whiskey didn’t last him longer than a small shot a night, but by the second week he was out. Right now, with Kenny, he was probably the most detoxed he’d been in almost eight months. Stuck with his incessant thoughts and pounding heart, like the jaws theme was playing in the back of his head. Take another sip, ease the pain, and wonder, why the hell had he come back?

Why did he keep coming back, like a masochistic, glutton for punishment.

Adam picked at the fabric of his shorts. Losing to Chris, losing to Mox, united by their losses, divided by their victories. Coming together in this tag-team felt like a desperate move to stem the bleeding of their hemorrhaging hearts. Adam wasn’t sure it was ever the right move. Right, he was going to step out of the shadow of the Elite by tagging with the leader of the Elite. Sitting next to Kenny, felt right, but holding gold felt no different to Adam than being without it. He really thought a title would change him. It didn't, he was still Adam page, selfish and mean, and carrying more baggage than he cared to admit. Now though, he just had a stupid little hallow, accomplishment to his name.

“Yeah, I mean, if AEW didn’t come around, I’d have retired, quit, left,” Kenny said, shrugging. “I was just so broken down after Japan-- but I found something worth fighting for, worth sticking around for. So, I get it, it’s hard, coming back after a loss, but I think that’s why this team was good for both of us. You’ll get back on that horse, Adam. Long as I’ve known you, you always have.”

Adam grinned and admitted, “Yeah, and we’ve had a helluva a run, I wouldn’t mind keeping it going. Never thought we'd get this far and at this point I just wanna-- I wanna see how far we go.”

“I told you we had something special,” Kenny said, he patted Adam’s thigh. He pointed at his temple. “I have a sixth sense for this kinda thing.”

A sixth sense, a knowledge that there was more to things than what they appeared at face value. For a moment Adam speculated on what Kenny saw in him. If he started with the alcohol, the empty whiskey bottles, and crushed beer cans. Or, if he started with his behavior towards the Bucks, the way that his supposed best friends brought out the worst in him. The meanest, most vicious, and selfish parts of Adam, poisoned by his own inferiority complex. The way he couldn’t break this cycle of arguments and running off alone. Because Adam didn’t know how to express the problem in a way Kenny and the Bucks would understand. That it hurt when they set themselves above him. Gave him tag-titles runs --or maybe just used him-- and gifted him ‘Matches of the Year.’ Like he was a charity case. Then, turned around and said, ‘no, we don’t look down on you!’ Maybe, Kenny just saw someone who’d be a good partner. Adam had been tagging for years, he and Jason Blade were tag-champions in Mid-Atlantic Wrestling. Adam had stood at the ring post with the Young Bucks, watching and learning from the best of the best. He had the skill, the knowledge, the power, to help carry a tag title belt. Maybe Kenny saw his determination, his drive, his skill, the softness of his heart and how he bled red at the slightest provocation.

What Adam wanted Kenny to see was that he was worthy of gold. That on his own, standing on his own two feet, he could carry a title. Not just a regional title, but world, international, the best-of-the-best. That there was that spark, that fire in him, that he could push the boundary. That he wasn’t content one step over and two behind. Relegated to the background shot. Adam didn’t want Kenny to have to look over his shoulder to see Adam. But just a little to the left and Adam was right there, next to him. Even if the most vile parts of himself called for Adam to push in front of Kenny and the Bucks, that wasn’t what he wanted. He just wanted to be their friend, like they were friends with each other. Equals, belonging, good enough, for the title of the Elite.

And he could feel it, he wasn’t good enough yet.

That was why he came back-- to prove he was good enough.

When the tag team ended, did this, this moment constructed in a hotel room with ice and towels, crumble too? Even worse, Adam wondered if this great accomplishment -- AEW tag-team champion with Kenny Omega-- stood alone. That all his success and legacy amounted to the bones the Elite threw him. Because they happened to include him in a BTE bit or because they held his hand through a tag-title run. The sick, twisted part of Adam wished that it was just him, holding this title, and that Kenny wasn’t here at all. And yet, Adam couldn’t kick Kenny out of this room, or out of his bed. Because he didn’t want Kenny to move from this spot, elbow-to-elbow. He missed the ring, he missed the fight, and he missed the chance to prove what he could do. Because Adam could spend years in the wilderness, and he’d still wander out, beard overgrown, eyes wild, itching to write a story that was his own.

But most of all, maybe, he had missed Kenny.

“Okay, Kenny, this is great but I want breakfast,” Adam said. He glanced over at his partner. “And listen, I get-- I get you’re worried about my leg, but I promise it’s not that bad. I can walk, man. It’ll be fine. Just, trust me? Yeah?”

Kenny paused, looking down at his hands in his lap. “I mean, yeah, of course, I guess, I really can’t keep you here all day. That’s a little unrealistic but, you’ve been away for a while. You can’t blame me for trying to make up for lost time by fussing, a little right? And you have a history of talking down when you’re hurt.”

The look Kenny gave him told Adam that he knew exactly why that was. Which was kinda nice, because Adam wasn’t sure he could tell him or even apologize for the way he fell back on old habits. Years later and he still couldn’t shake hands. Yet, as much as the Decade had changed Adam, he liked to believe that the Elite changed him more. Yeah, BJ taught him to not show his injuries and to patch his own wounds, but just as much, Adam didn’t want his friends to worry. Mostly because, it always shocked Adam that he was worthy of that worry.

“So, yeah,” Kenny said. “I guess I can let you out of the bed, but listen, let me know if you’re in pain or injured man? We’re partners, we’re in this together, and you-- you can trust me. I’m not going to look down on you or anything just because you’re hurt, I want to help. So, please, man, trust me. This shit has to go both ways.”

“Do I get breakfast if I say yes?” Adam asked. He leaned over a bit, pressing his shoulder against Kenny and offering him a soft smile. If it got him bacon, Adam was willing to try the puppy dog eyes.

Kenny chuckled, then nodded and shrugged. “Yeah, I’d say.”

“Then, yeah, I got it,” Adam said, nodding. He flipped over the hand on his leg and offered it to Kenny. Kenny took it and squeezed, strong but reassuring. Felt better that way than when it had just been his hand alone, and Adam hated it, but he loved it. “I’ll-- try.”

Kenny released Adam’s hand with one last squeeze and slipped off the bed. Adam swung his legs off the edge the mattress and took the half-melted bag of ice off his knee. Even just that little time had made it feel better. “Let me get a shower and I’ll meet you down in the lobby-- And, Kenny?”

Kenny paused, at the entrance of the hall leading out of the room. He turned, glancing back at Adam, quizzical.

“Thanks, man,” Adam said. He ducked his head and eyes, suddenly bashful.

Adam ran his fingers through his hair. Small tangles caught and his golden curls unravelled from knots. He had something else to say but the words stalled out there as Kenny placed his hand on Adam’s shoulder, suddenly back at his side, and planted a big kiss on his cheek. A real lip smacker, exclaimed with a, “Mwah!”

“To make it better,” Kenny stated, simply, as he straightened. “Haha, I’ll see you downstairs in ten.”

Adam gaped as Kenny escaped the hotel room. The door closed behind him and all Adam could do was place his hand on his cheek where Kenny kissed him. Felt the warmth of a budding blush that darkened his face. That was the exact wrong kinda positive reinforcement. Because now all Adam could think about was that he should get hurt more often.

#ofgrief #‘The Hangman’ || Adam: IC #‘Deals with God’ || Adam: Verse #‘Beloved’ || Adam and Kenny

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