#I have a full playlist on my phone this is just what fits best

[angelicgirlmj]

an angels guide: solo valentines

hey angels! whether or not you are single this year valentines is more than just a celebration of romantic love, it should be one of platonic, familial and most importantly self love! oscar wilde wrote ‘to love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance’ and that quote feels so relevant and meaningful to me. after all the only person who will always be with you and experience every moment with you is yourself - you have to give them the love they deserve. with that being said here it is, an angels guide to solo valentines!

write a list of every single thing you love about yourself. doesn’t matter how long or short, how utterly random or specific it is, the point is for you to have a reminder of what makes you loveable in your eyes that is just for you!

read a self discovery book, it could be from any author, genre, fictitious or not, find a book that prominently features a journey of self exploration.

be kind to yourself. have that snack, go to bed a little earlier, take a walk even though it’s cold, stretch as you wake up, whatever helps you treat yourself lovingly and kindly.

buy a physical magazine - cute, girly and depending on the kind you get valentines themed! my favourites are vogue, the new yorker and the paris review!

write yourself a love letter. make it special, meaningful, sweet, whatever you need to receive in the moment. save it till valentines.

buy yourself a little treat. maybe your favourite flowers or snack, maybe a movie ticket, whatever it is get yourself a gift because you deserve to shower yourself with love!

have an everything shower or bath. be slow and mindful, light a candle and put on a playlist, spend as long as you want doing all of your favourite shower activities. use that shower lotion you save for special occasions and spray yourself with a favourite perfume even if you just are getting cozy for bed.

bake yourself something sweet (or savoury, i just associate sweet things with valentines!). maybe strawberry and white chocolate scones, dark chocolate raspberry mouse or a comforting tray of brownies. save it just for you or share with friends and family!

take yourself on a solo date, spend deliberate and conscious time alone. maybe it’s something small like getting a matcha and reading in a coffee shop, maybe it’s something bigger like a shopping spree at your favourite clothes shop or maybe it’s even a solo trip away! do whatever feels right, affordable and needed for you in this moment.

make a self love, valentines playlist!

declutter your room and make your space bright, cozy and comforting. celebrate and honour your space and self, take the time to pick through the things you love, clean them, treat them with care.

have a romcom film night! make a list, get your fave movie snacks, a drink and cozy blanket and settle in and get cozy.

be creative, learn a new creative skill or rediscover an old one, please use your hands, use your mind, make something just for yourself regardless of how good you think it is.

explore your city or town or the place you live by yourself (if safe and able to do so!), bring a camera or take pictures on your phone. stop and be in the moment, find pockets of brightness and beauty. bring your headphones, find a song that fits your mood. pick up pretty rocks or things you find them and save them. keep things that will remind you of yourself in this moment, this place and put them in a junk journal or memory box.

move your body in a way that honours it and is kind. do a dance workout with rests when you need, move slowly during a pilates workout, go for a run and take the time to breath deeply and drink cold, fresh water. love your body and all that it does for you.

i know for many (regardless of their relationship status) can feel at best bored or like this time of year is pointless, or at worse lonely and upset. this year i want you to focus on finding love within yourself, because, angels, you are so full of it. let internal love fulfill you and then let the external find you. what are your plans for solo valentines or solo valentines activities this month? let me know i would love to hear it and get some inspiration!

happy valentines! love, m.

[jihyoruri]

what are some of your stardom headcanons? sorry I love this group sm

oh em gee I love this ask (there’s are more like fun facts and little moments)

★ ͘ ⴰSTARDOM — headcanons

—★ ͘ ⴰ when yuri and yn first met when they were trainees they hated each other but now they’re the closest.

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin is everyone’s safe place, even though she’s rlly quiet the girls love spending time with her (yn is always barging into her room and just staying there and hana is constantly bothering and trolling her)

—★ ͘ ⴰ because they’re nintendo ambassadors they like to carry any type of nintendo handheld with them everywhere (yuri likes shoving her twitch in cameras at the airport)

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn and yuri booked a flight to la without anyone knowing to go to kendrick lamar’s pop out show and how sm found at was seeing videos of them on the floor with other celebrities having the time of their lives.

—★ ͘ ⴰ when summer brought the girls to her old neighborhood in new york while they were trainees they loved seeing the houses and shops that was until they saw some crazy stuff and summer didn’t even flinch while yn called her cousin (wonyoung to book her a flight).

—★ ͘ ⴰ hana has a habit of stealing the members’ clothes and pretending they’re hers. eunjin caught her wearing her Miu Miu jacket during a live stream but decided to let it slide when fans kept commenting how cute Hana looked in it.

—★ ͘ ⴰ summer is the group’s unofficial “mom.” she’s always checking if everyone has eaten, but ironically, she’s also the one who loses her phone or wallet at least once a week.

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin loves photography and takes polaroid pictures of the members during everything they do. stardom fans always beg her to release a photobook, but she prefers keeping the memories private for the group.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yuri is known for sleepwalking during tour schedules. during their japan showcase, she ended up in yn’s hotel room, and the two had a full (nonsensical) conversation that yn secretly recorded and played back to everyone the next morning.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn and eunjin have a habit of going out late at night for street food without the manager’s permission. fans have spotted them eating tteokbokki in random alleys at least twice, and sm has issued “warnings” to them each time.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn is obsessed with journaling. she has a sparkly pink notebook where she writes her thoughts, sticks polaroids, and doodles cute notes about the members. yuri once snuck a peek and found a sketch of her, yn now makes sure to hide in better places.

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin has a calming playlists for each member that fits their vibe that she plays for the members when they’re stressed.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn loves surprising the members with coffee runs during practice sessions, but she always messes up hana’s order. hana once jokingly told fans, “she’s a great leader, but she has no idea how I like my coffee.”

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin is lowkey obsessed with true crime documentaries. she sometimes shares creepy facts with the members late at night, especially hana to get back at her for all her trolling.

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin is the best at keeping secrets, but when the members plan surprise parties, she gets so anxious about keeping it hidden that she starts avoiding the person they’re celebrating. yn once asked on live “why does eunjin hate me this week?” only to walk into her surprise birthday party later that night.

—★ ͘ ⴰ summer collects old cds and cassette tapes from thrift stores. she even convinced sm to let them film part of a music video in a vintage record store.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn is a huge perfectionist when it comes to choreography. she often stays late at the practice room to fine-tune every move, and yuri always stays behind with her, saying, “you’re not suffering alone.”

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn and summer are THE vocal duo and are known for their pre debut duets.

—★ ͘ ⴰ hana keeps a “snack stash” in her bag that she shares with fans during fan signs. the company has tried to ban her from giving out snacks, but she always finds a way around it.

—★ ͘ ⴰ eunjin secretly loves plushies but pretends to dislike them. the members leave random plushies on her bed, and she keeps all of them, saying, “they’re there for decoration.”

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn has an impressive collection of vinyl records. she often plays them while journaling or brainstorming choreography ideas. yuri always jokes that yn has an old soul.

—★ ͘ ⴰ summer can’t handle spicy food, but she always challenges herself to eat it anyway. during a mukbang, she started crying after one bite of spicy ramen, and yn had to finish the bowl for her.

—★ ͘ ⴰ hana is known for her laugh which sounds more like a cackle. whenever she laughs, the other members start laughing harder.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yn is a secret night owl and often stays up sketching designs for stardom’s next concept. summer once found her asleep at the table with doodles of retro outfits scattered around.

—★ ͘ ⴰ yuri made handmade bracelets for all the members during their trainee days. they all still wear them during important events as a good luck charm.

[hybbart]

Do you listen to music while drawing? If you wanna share, I'd be really interested! Also related - do you think the music influences your art?

I do! It depends how hard I gotta concentrate, sometimes when I'm in the early sketching stage and I'm thinking a lot, especially a comic, I gotta not, and sometimes if I'm not thinking at all like doing lineart I put videos on in the bg. But most of the time I listen to music. (Also sometimes when I'm super duper stressed or overwhelmed and I'm drawing to calm down I listen to the music I have on my phone or play meditation music from youtube on it, just to get my headset off my head.)

I have a couple of playlists that are just some specific songs that are a mood, usually less wordy songs from OSTs or kawaii future bass type stuff. Sometimes though I just let my music play starting from like the most recent 30 or so I added so it's usually a jumbled mess. Occassionally if a particular song inspires a mood and I'm too lazy to search if I have any songs similar enough I just play that song on repeat until it's done. Recent songs I did this with are the Dandadan full opening and Osmanthus featuring Ado (which is one of those modern songs that are obnoxiously short so... I heard that quite a few times! I was given a couple songs similar enough to it that I made a playlist though including Okayu's cover of Flos)

I mostly listen to japanese music- current fav artists are Ado and Zutomayo- but I'll listen to most anything. I have a raau playlist that's basically "what do raau ranchers listen to while driving" that's mostly country music like the chicks and johnny cash. Recently I downloaded a bunch of late 90s and early 2000s music I hadn't gotten for some reason like barenaked ladies and linkin park and green day after my notepad doc I use to write songs I hear down got a bit full after a drive with my dad.

I'd say it influences my art when I let it. I can put it on as background noise or I can let it set a tone. Maybe it's not so much that it influences my art as it is that I am in a certain mood and I put on music that fits that mood. If I wanna draw something soft and pastel I'm not exactly putting on techn9ne or man with a mission! And if I wanna draw something actiony I don't usually play imogen heap or carly rae jepson. I'll make a temporary playlist. If I'm not in any particular mood, though, I'll just let my music play whatever in order added and become background noise. Usually it all ends up back at the masic block of shemusic at the start lol. I guess they're my best of queens.

(That said there are songs- mostly dance songs or musical OSTs- that I cannot listen to while drawing. I Just end up distracted and either singing or dancing...)

Uuuh this ended up longer than needed. remind me not to answer asks right as I wake up...

[xstrawberryshiftsx]

How I met my better cr s/o PT1

based off a dream and a playlist!

part two!

Dove: that’s me! (I’m obvs not using my real name, plus my irl one is pretty weird so it suits lol)

Caster: my s/o

James: casters bestfriend

Bell: Casters twin sister

Jade, Min-Jun, Cindy, Clay: my best friends/friend group

I found this playlist on Spotify and my mind has never been more pleased

also no judgement this is super Mary sue and cringey but let me live

‘who’s that chick?’

James asked as he crushed his Up&Go in his hand before trying to throw it-and miss-into the trash bin

‘I don’t fucking know’

Caster replied not looking up from his phone, it was like 8:30 and he didn’t have the energy for James gossip.

‘nah-mate seriously’ he jabbed Caster in the shoulder impatiently, he didn’t answer but put his phone down and looked in the direction that James was pointing to.

it was a girl-she was a golden blonde and light eyed, freckles littered her cheeks and she looked around 5’3-5’5. She was laughing loudly, holding one of her friends hands and Caster noticed that when she smiled two dimples showed and that she had slightly pointer then average canines.

‘Wow a girl-crazy’ he rolled his eyes sarcastically.

James rambled on for a moment about blondes and how the school never got new people-which was definitely not true, they lived in Sydney there was always gonna be new people.

The girl was surrounded by one of the main groups in the school year, this wasn’t an American movie and there wasn’t really a ‘popular’ group but they where some of the friendliest and well known people in the year, Clay, Min-jun, Cindy and Jade circled around her in a weird bubble, Cindy pointed around the school yard showing her random sections and Min-Jun not so subtly gestured to random people and telling her about them.

‘anyway-that’s why I think brunettes are wife material and blondes are friend material’

Sighing Caster turned away from the girl and back to his friend

‘wow that’s crazy interesting dude-really deep’

not understanding the sarcasm James grinned and nodded looking pleased with himself

‘still tho what a babe’

TIMESKIP

Dove watched as her friends chatted on the train ride home, she’d known these guys since kindy but it was weird to finally been in the same actual school.

‘hey you all good?’ Clay asked suddenly noticing her quietness

the others looked up to her direction

‘hmm? Yeah I’m good thanks! Just been a long day’ she replied softly

‘I’ve got headphones if you wanna listen to some music and have some down time?’ Cindy said smiling as she rested a head on Doves shoulder.

‘Nah it’s okay-mine and Jades stop is soon-thanks tho’

Nodding Cindy got off her shoulder and turned to discuss some politics thing with Min-Jun. Eventually the train stopped and Jade and her both got off waving goodbye to their friends as they did.

…

‘so…-what’d you think about the school?’

‘oh! Uh-it’s nice-loud and full on but nice I guess’

Jade took Doves hand as they walked through their street the streets lights shining down on them.

Jade had moved in with Dove a few months back after her family decided to move back to England-jade had had a right fit about it and ended up staying behind to her delight.

‘As long as your happy�� Jade smiled, the street lights shone on her dark thick curls making them shine in golden light, everything about Jade was beautiful-from her golden brown doe eyes to her smile…a perfect picture.

‘I’m always happy’ Dove replied squeezing Jades hand

‘yeah-I know’

‘Oi-Cass!’

Bell barged into Casters room holding a twenty dollar note in her hand.

He looked up from his desk his night glasses resting on his nose

‘what?!’ He groaned shutting his laptop and looking over at his twin.

Bell and Cass were eerily similar-only in appearance of course- they both had 1C dark hair and almost black eyes, they were pale and tall, the only difference was Bell was a decent person to be around.

‘I’m on my period…I-uh would personally be super appreciate if you decided to go to the corner store and buy me some snacks’ Bell crossed her arms and handed him the twenty dollars.

Sighing Cass got up from his chair.

‘yeah okay-what do you want?’

Dove stared at their bedroom ceiling tracing the patterns with her eyes as she did. They turned over in her bed and twisted around trying to get comfortable. her uncle had recommended her to go to bed earlier but she couldn’t find it in herself to fall asleep.

she pulled on a jacket over her pjs and hopped out of bed walking out of her bedroom and through the halls and into the kitchen to where her uncle was having a beer

‘hey I’m going to the general store is that okay?’ She asked grabbing her wallet on the counter.

he looked up and smiled

‘sure pickle, just stay in the open streets and don’t be out for long-oh and keep your phone turned on’

Dove smiled and nodded before walking out the door

…

the door jingled as Cass walked through the store, going straight to the Asian snack section.

he looked down at the list Bell gave him

A cup of ramen (spicy beef flavour)

Two cans of melon soda

oreo and strawberry pocky sticks

Bin Bin rice crackers

white rabbit candy

‘Uh-um’

Cass looked up realising he was blocking the aisle

‘oh sorry-‘ it was the girl-the new girl from school, he stared at her not expecting to meet her especially not here, he decided to be polite for once and start a conversation.

‘your the new girl right-uh Daisy?’ He didn’t mean it but his voice came out uninterested and mean

‘Dove-my names Dove…not daisy’ she said awkwardly not really in the mood for a chat

‘huh-that’s a weird fucking name’ again he didn’t mean to sound so off putting but he always somehow ended up with that tone

‘Excuse me? No need to be a cunt’

she tilted her head at him confused at his staring and comments, she narrowed her eyes before walking past him.

the boy was cute-and tall but she was put off by his weird gaze, plus what a dick. He watched as she walked past him straight towards the pocky section-he watched in horror as she grabbed both the last strawberry and the last Oreo pocky box.

Against his better judgement he spoke

‘wait-uh do you really have to get those…ones?’ she turned around looking at him an eyebrow raised

‘Huh?’ She didn’t say it meanly but it was clear she was on edge

‘the pocky-those are the last two’

‘Well your obviously blind since there’s like a bunch here’ she gestured to the wall behind them

‘yeah but I need those two’ he said feeling impatient-he was cold and he could already feel Bells comment if he came back late AND without her favourite pocky flavours.

‘No one needs anything’ Dove scowled crossing her arms and glaring up at him

He laughed clearly frustrated

‘yeah well your wrong cause I need those’

Scoffing Dove walked past him and straight to the checkout

‘hey-wait please’ he groaned-shit, his mum was right his attitude was beginning to be a problem.

Dove walked out the door pleased with themselves leaving Caster alone in the shop defeated

@starrihideshere @livingsecret @ottaorca @gaiaexploreslife @catschasingstars @lovebvni @morganshifts @chloesreality @zipperrants

PT2?

this is super cringey and I absolutely hate myself for writing this 💀

[charmercharm3r]

Phases

LMH, HJS

Masterlist, Story Masterlist

Story synopsis: Whoever said patience is a virtue have never met Jisung and Minho.

warnings: smut, explicit sexual content, poly!minsung x fem!reader, lots of kissing and groping lol, more specific warnings in individual chapters

PREVIEW, Phase One

“Y– you wanna kiss me?” Jisung’s eyes widened, pads of his fingers coming up to press against his lips.

Taking his hand away, you guided it to your neck the way he did to you earlier. “Since we’re being honest, I can’t stop thinking about that night, you and him.” His grip tightened just a little as your hand splayed over his chest and slowly rose up. “Can I? Kiss you?”

“Oh my god, I’ve been waiting for you to as–”

Jisung pulled you into him before he could finish his thought, slotting against you with ambition. He felt just as you imagined him, eager but mindful in how to hold you, letting you set the tone with just closed mouth smooches as the sounds of your lips smacking bounced off the bedroom walls. Both his hands found their way into your hair and pulled you impossibly closer until your body fell onto him entirely. You didn’t know what to do with yourself, kissing your best friend until you were both breathless and needy, knowing better than to do anything more.

But oh, how you wanted to. You wanted to kiss him everywhere, make him cower into the sheets and make him feel how much you loved him. There was just too much right now, too much to be figured out. A night of desire wasn’t worth a lifetime of friendship.

So as you pulled away, reluctant Jisung whining and chasing after you for more, you let your forehead rest against his and let out a satisfied laugh. “Slow,” you whispered, letting him pepper kisses to your cheeks.

“Can’t we just jump to phase three?” He breathed against your skin.

“What’s phase three?”

Jisung’s lips made their way down your neck, his tongue leaving wet streaks the further he descended. “You, me, Min, a big ass bed covered in rose petals and candle light. Maybe a kick ass playlist to set the mood–”

The sound of your phone ringing made the both of you jump as if you were being caught doing something illegal. You broke into another fit of giggles when you found out it was Minho calling you. “Hey, pretty boy,” you answer him with a grin, still looking down at Jisung who stared up at you fondly.

“Jesus, Y/N. Are you okay? Why haven’t you been answering? Are you home? I– I’ve tried calling you for days–”

“Two days, Min.”

“Days. It’s been days.” Jisung could hear his voice booming through the phone, laughing and shrugging at how it’s the same thing he’d told you.

“I’m okay.” You eased his worries with two simple words, hearing him sigh on the other end of the call.

“You’re okay,” Minho repeated, relieved.

There was a pause in his breathing, probably unsure of what to say as he walked on eggshells. You knew this about him, he needed careful approaching, as Minho doesn’t like what he doesn’t already know. “I’m coming over tomorrow,” you stated.

“I’d be upset if you didn’t.”

Chuckling lightly, you let Jisung bring your fingertips to his lips and press a kiss to them. As you smiled at the man beneath you, you spoke into the phone, “love you.”

“Whatever… Love you, too.”

“Love you, too!” Jisung yelled into the speaker before you hung up, hearing Minho let out a strangled call of the other boy’s full name and the line went dead.

-

A/N: ahhh this has been a story on my mind for a longggg time and i finally have motivation to write it! part 1 is almost ready to be posted, just need to edit and such so if you like this preview and wanna be notified when it’s up, leave a comment and i’ll tag you for the future chapters!

tags: @sensitiveandhungry @babebatter @aliferousminho @changbinluvr @epiphanynaffit @fawnpeaks @linovely @dumplinbokkieracha @finnydraws @naturules @djeniryuu @hamburgers101 @skzhomiehopper @yesv01 @hyunjinsamdl @lyramundana

[clatterbane]

I really am an idiot sometimes.

A little while ago, I referred somebody else to one of the videos from this playlist, because they really are helpful. I got a lot of good out of them as a new wheelchair user. Then I decided to check out a few more that I don't think I had watched before:

Then I got to this one!

️BATHROOM WHEELCHAIR TRANSFERS

...And immediately started coveting her very practical setup.

A lot of things are easier for me, with full use of my lower body minus a foot. I'm thankfully fine without any kind of help--or am I really? 😮‍💨

We have been in this place for 3 years come Christmas time, and this here's the extent of my own showering arrangement:

That's it! I've got the same slightly wobbly-feeling stool that I got to fit into our roughly phone booth sized shower stall back in London, which will luckily slide back in under the sink out of the way when it's not needed. Plus a dedicated brush to make it easier to scrub out that deep tub. (Which I did indeed mark with tape, to try and make sure nobody uses it for anything else! 😬)

Sometimes I will skip the seat, and just haul my wet slippery carcass in and out of the bottom of the tub. I rarely want to soak, but it works pretty well to spray yourself off that way. But, especially if I don't feel like scrubbing the tub before plonking my bare ass into it? It is usually the seat for me.

The usual transfer situation is not the best! Especially getting out when everything is wet. Putting my towel on the edge of the tub on the way out helps, but that's also sorta slippy in its own way.

Yeah, I think some grab bars really would be a good plan in there, all things considered.

I do have one foot, and the other one is supremely unlikely to grow back. I am sadly not a crawfish. This is not a temporary accessibility need, either.

A bench-style seat like she's using would probably also make things easier, now that we do have a tub to support one. Should feel less precarious scrambling in and out of there. I would need to leave the shower curtain outside of the tub with the bench blocking its path on the inside, but full wet rooms are standard for apartments here! (All the better not to flood your neighbors, basically.)

The fact that this IS an apartment is one of the reasons I've shied away from drilling any holes in the walls in here so far--like to mount grab bars. But, this is not a rental. And even if it were, pretty sure nobody had better try to complain about someone who needs bathroom grab bars drilling to install them in Sweden either.

(I think the municipality is even technically supposed to be on the hook for supplying adaptive equipment like that, though I would really rather not try to deal with bureaucracy when what I need is maybe $50 total worth of hardware from a Lowe's equivalent and the existing drill. I was just pricing some.)

But yeah, I don't think the apartment drilling has been anywhere near my main mental hangup in this case. It's probably more to do with that nasty tendency to feel like if I remotely CAN manage, that somehow obligates me to stubborn my way forward and push through the hard way.

The real kicker? I haven't been showering as often as I probably should, because it IS a more difficult and dangerous proposition than it needs to be. I make sure I don't stink--and I WILL notice before anyone else if I do. (Shitty superpowers...) But yeah, it really hasn't been ideal and I have been feeling guilty about that too.

In a similar situation, I would strongly recommend that literally anybody else get some freaking grab bars and a better seat into their bathroom. I'd install it for them if they needed help, because jfc. I really do not need to break my own fool head--or anything else!--in the bathroom either. And I don't somehow deserve for that to happen. 😑 If anything, extra stable supports are probably an even better idea since I have always been such a klutz anyway.

Going to bring the minor bathroom renovations up with Mr. C, yeah. May actually send him this, and save some venting. Not that there seems to be any shortage of that.

[gala-xyzz]

I HAVE ASSEMBLED A FUCKTON OF SONG LYRICS FOR TITLES AND SHIT HERE YOU ALL GO

at some point i will put all of these songs and more into a playlist :D

"i made a bunch of friends so i could use them as excuses to get drunk" (time of my life by upsahl)

"so ten lives were traded for time… say ten times you looked me in the eyes… held your breath watching them die" (broken by kongos)

"phantoms keep ringing my phone to remind me that i'm still alone" (bad medicine by the upstart crows)

"i don't even care if my soul is gone" (take control of your own life by sven karlsson)

"if i only had your heart i could beat the system… i never really cared for tragic stories, i just liked the endings" (come around by omri)

"i then saw the gates of hell, they were lined with golden amplifiers… they were calling out my name but i could not be found… i was falling though the flames in such a lovely sound" (heart of a dancer by the happy fits)

"why do you feel right when you know it's so wrong?… all you're breaking is drywall… all you feel is what you can't admit" (fight club by fitzy)

"they will sell you a dream for a dollar ninety-nine" (good life by shayfer james)

"the beating of a heart that i hid beneath the floor" (for the departed by shayfer james)

"was it something i said that kept you up in your head?… don't be scared of death, death is scared of you" (monsters by run river north)

"and i'm so scared that all of my worst fears have followed me out here" (american blood by dead poet society)

"you weren't ready to meet the angels" (when you fall by oceanic)

"the city's like a drum ringing in my ear" (my my by magic giant)

"what shall we do with a pretty liar?" (double denim by skylar)

"bleeding hands can make a man… this is birth in reverse, this is sacred" (a good thing by kyle stibbs)

"can you feel my heart, or are you a liar?" (aura by dionysia)

"i didn'y kill my demons to be killed by yours" (bones by the rills)

"a hit of this, a sip of that, a bit of every sin" (pleasure by midnight ambassador)

"save your blessing because heaven ain't a place for me" (seventies by modern alibi)

"there's a reason why you're a one-track mind" (parachute by second thoughts)

"leave me a soul, only by definition, i don't want to feel anything… that money won't bring happiness, but let me ask what does… if i can't have justice i might as well join the unjust" (nunemaker's parable by everybody's worried about owen)

"if you loved us then you'd leave, if you leave you're a liar" (oh my by cxviolet)

"what i need is not what i want" (in a blink by the glass pyramids)

"i could come back and my cold heart still beats… and my heart it keeps getting colder" (dressed in violets by hometown & young)

"i won't cry, i won't wait for you… a hole in the ground or the talk of the town?" (for the wicked by friday pilots club)

"all my life i've been heading for hell… but haven't you heard? hearts turn to dirt" (we have it all by pim stones)

"everything you want in twenty-four hours, but nothing you need" (concrete jungle by au/ra)

"what's the price of perfection? i won't know until i've paid in full" (after me, the flood by bear ghost)

"i'll be your muse, now take what i offer… i am the way and the life in the best-looking truth" (mr rattlebone by matt maeson)

"i heard he'll drink your blood just for the taste… and all the dead are gonna play witness" (dear dictator by saint motel)

"when you always want more there's nothing to gain" (city of angels by em beihold)

[lesralizes]

my energy-revisiting my first post

i feel like a mess, i dont know myself anymore

when i wrote about "my energy" everything flowed so naturally, now i'm just stuck

but i'll force myself to write about all the things that make me, me, just so i can find myself in between all this mess my mind has been through lately. here i go, i present to you, again, my energy (revisited and modified)

a little cup of coffee with oat milk from the coffee shop i now work at, orange juice on free days and matcha latte at home before class. early mornings reading books and feeling the cold wind, listening to the birds chirping as my reading soundtrack and seeing the sun arise through the window. late night readings before sleeping, when everything is quiet and i feel like the only person alive. struggling to see the words cause there's almost no light or cause i'm too sleepy. mixing silver and gold jewelry. baggy low waist dark trousers with any type of basic top that fits me right (maybe a little longer on my sleeves) and comfortable flat shoes as my go to outfit. i dont care anymore. i dont wear platforms to appear taller and slimmer, i seek comfort. keeping my hair long and messy. no make up make up look (now for real), wearing lipstick instead of eyeliner. wearing you by glossier or another 13 by le labo instead of santal 33. i still love french cinema and dream everyday of being percieved by others as the protagonist of any rohmer's movie. i dont own a moleskin anymore but i write in every piece of paper i can find, preferably in black ink. i still feel the need to document everything i go through. i still keep a diary, i still film my days. jonas mekas films always in mind, annie ernaux books all highlighted and noted. vintage leather bags with lip balm, lip liner, a sweet treat and my current read. reading almost exclusively books written by woman,, they just get me. making playlist for every emotion i feel, one for anger, one for tranquility and one (the most special) for the best feeling in the world: leaving the cinema, after you've sat for a few hours in a room full of strangers, all there to do the same thing as you, and you've lived another life for those few hours. for when you open the exit door and take the first breath of fresh air and feel renewed, like a new person. everything you do becomes cinematic, your life feels like a movie, and of course you need a playlist by your side.

im still daydreaming all the time. still missing a boy, still thinking about the way he used to call me or how every part of his body used to feel. still wondering what would've happened, how things would've been. still biting my lips and eating cookies every time im anxious.

still wearing my silk dresses and my grandma's nightgowns to sleep in the summer and matching blue pijamas when it's cold. i own a new phone now, but i still have a clear phone case with movie tickets (still collect them). going to the cinema at least twice a month, now that i can afford it. visiting art exhibitions alone with my wired headphones and lots of curiosity. now i seek the sun and long for the summer time, even though i'm still a cold weather enjoyer at heart. still a paris lover and romanticist-more than ever since i lived my before sunrise fantasy when i spent a whole day in the city of love with the boy from another country i'd met fifteen days before. i cried admiring the sunset in montmartre (like delphine on le rayon vert) and kissed him under the stars to mr brightside by the killers haha.

i still think of him, of all the people i've met throughout my life, of all the people who have seen me grow and evolve. i'm forever changing and learning, and after almost three years of my first post i still preserve most of "my energy", and i can say that that version of myself is still here. a lot of things are still the same.

sometimes the girl i used to be visits me and greets me from a far. i look at myself and see all the other versions i've ever been, and i wave them back with a smile. but also with a sense of grief because i know i can never go back, i will never be six or eighteen again.

even though im never satisfied with my present self i try to focus on what i do like about who i am. i focus on what i love and work towards it. this is a little piece i wrote to reflect on how i've changed while feeling lost and melancholic in my daily life. the result of it feels bittersweet, but i feel much lighter. i encourage you to try it.

if you've read all of this, just know you have a very special place in my little heart.

[child-of-the-new-contagion]

first dxm trip after more than ten years of mostly being sober [2023-02-23]

300mg, from drinking one bottle of benylin cough syrup.

Slightly swoony maybe. Nervous, but nothing too bad. I been a lot worse. Feel ok. A bit of lightness. The subtlest lightness of body. Yes, I can feel it for sure. Subtle, but progressing.

It's about an hour later. What do you want to know? Hmm… I'm trying to get these file operations completed so I can put a randomized playlist on my phone.

It's starting to get full on now. Fuller onner. Full plate. Mmhmm.

I can feel the family close. But so far away.

That comfort. Above it all, bouncy and floaty.

The tapestry of chat, laid before me. Wanna take screenshots.

Can I go into a hole and collect some things?

Gotta get away from the chat, and into my jazzy self… Wish I had something to play on. The stuff I do for me, all just for fucking me, ok? But what about the cats?

How can thc be a soberizer?

don't worry, i'm here, everclear,

don't think the randomizer is best…

but..

austerity

Creating my own universe. There's even audio chat options now with other egos.

Rails of soap. Pandering down parents of mounting. Yeah, it fits. It makes sense. To try and type. And remember why it was important to type things. A certain feeling persisting forgetting to dream and daydream and go to bed. And go back to bed. Aphex, can't go wrong. There's reasons. CBB might work for a long-planned after plateau. Hard-ridged plat edges to fashion steps to take before going on forever. Of course there's finitions. There's an art to it, a knack to get back to. There's remembering what kind of people you were, how it was even bleaker at other times. Not so bad right now. What are you looking for though?

Well, should I keep writing, or try to close it out? Break off a deuce. Yes, it's too late, have to swallow the traz, it's ok. Germinate pollinate in temporarily lonely but fertile subconscious. Dream percolation substrate sproutinatudinal death-ling baby break layers. Sometimes the sawtooth algorithm will know what to do, sometimes it will take over, sometimes automatic knows what to tell you when there is no god. Sometimes you can work through it, and play through it also. Sometimes, it's this place. Here, right now.

And so forth.

*

Time to land this plane. Afterglowers await. Shower me with love. Other porter airlines waiting to await me. It simply happens.

Little things take on significance. Dxm in the smart phone age. Why do I feel like a Boomer? Weird.

Mid life crisis of a stripe. Planning my death……

Absorbed like wallpaper…. Records . Dreams.

Useless melted phone. Got some classic context out of it though. I will curate it. With my luxuries. My married lifestyles. It's romantic. It's cursed and blessed, so, so what? Away to an empty place. Got on the fringes of ego death. Becoming a rug is actually blissful and profound, for real. Think about it. Regenerating. Neuro plasticity. Getting away with things.

[whalleyrulz]

halloween 2023

22) ...how do i name this? some shorts?

so okay. life's a lot. we needed shorts, not full movies. one of the things i'm going to talk about is one of the best horror things i've ever seen. the other two require a netflix subscription. they're.

okay so let's just get into it

DISCO INFERNO is a short film made by netflix, that makes it absolutely abundantly clear that the netflix style model is "no style," and the netflix script policy is "eh, it's words, right?" it's about a girl in the 70s who becomes pregnant, and the nun who killed her mother in the 50s tries to possess her at the opening of a new nightclub. how does the plot resolve? to speak from the viewpoints of the imagination-less execs who desperately want to be the human equivalent of an ai model, "who gives a shit." it feels like the kind of thing you use in a cosmic court case about whether or not executives have a soul, to prove that executives don't have souls, and this is a correct truth of the universe

FLASHBACK is a short film made by netflix, that shows what happens when you try your best to combine a love for everything everywhere all at once with netflix corporate execs. a home invasion winds up killing people. the execs, by the way, win out. it's about a girl using her end of life experience to do, as was said before, "who gives a shit." at this point i really genuinely feel like someone at netflix is actively working to kill art in order to make us more comfortable with ai taking over culture and killing the rest of human history. hey guys don't fucking use ai shit for anything related to art. if you do i fundamentally do not like you as a person. this shit is so fucking vile and inhuman. and these two shorts, despite being ostensibly made by humans, stink of ai. they reek of it. they burn my nostrils with malodorous digitations. fuuuuuuuuuck these shorts. if you make horror shorts, v/h/s needs to be watched, and treated as a bare fucking minimum of what to do. fuuuuck this

BUT THERE'S SOMETHING SO FUCKING GOOD COMING UP WITH A LINK AND EVERYTHING (i didn't watch it today but i watched it this month and i neeeeeeeed to talk about it)

THE OLDEST VIEW is a youtube horror miniseries by a fucking high school student that is better made and more horrifying and more tense and more unbelievably powerful in both concept and execution than, i shit you not, 90% of every other horror movie i've ever seen

it's about a youtuber who explores shit, finds a hole under a tree in texas, and the hole is full of stairs. the stairs go to an abandoned mall. there's art in the mall

there's art in the execution

there's no on-screen violence, there's no blood, there's no gore, this absolutely fits into youtube's content guidelines. it is, in theory, corporate as hell. but because it's made by someone who can just Make Art, Fuck The Overlords, it winds up being absolutely unstoppably powerful. absolutely incredibly horrifying. absolutely one of the best horror experiences i've had.

i'm going to link the playlist now. all in all, you need about an hour to watch it all. pleaaaaaase do it. please. PLEASE. if you ignore everything i say about every other horror movie, please watch this. PLEASE

1. skinamarink | 2. smile | 3. the black phone | 4. talk to me | 5. m3gan | 6. significant other | 7. cobweb | 8. horror in the high desert | 9. the pope's exorcist | 10. knock at the cabin | 11. infinity pool | 12. becky | 13. no one will save you | 14. huesera: the bone woman | 15. scream vi | 16. idle hands | 17. a wounded fawn | 18. v/h/s 85 | 19. evil dead rise | 20. mama | 21. look away

[iron-touch]

Author's Notes: Chapter 32 (The Man in the Picture)

Yay, another chapter with a short turnaround! Don't expect this trend to continue, as I have just enrolled in full time college again and am still getting used to it.

I was very cautious with the opening of Michelle in the changing room. That scene could get very, very creepy with the wrong prose, but I think I managed to make it more endearing than "male gazey."

Speaking of male gaze, Boney! Boney's back. My original plan for Chapter 31 was to end on the scene of Michelle seeing Boney in One Size Fits All, but I decided to change it in order to avoid feeling too similar to Chapter 18 (where the chapter ends with Michelle finding Boney's dead body on the plane). That worked out for the best, too, considering Chapter 31's length.

Reread the phone call Boney has with the Grand Marshal in Chapter 30; this is where he was sent to go. I think you should have an easier time filling in the blanks now.

Michelle having a panic attack and running away was one of the easiest I've ever written in my two years of Iron Touch. I don't know what that says about me.

Midler's back! Remember, High Priestess' user? No? Too bad. My original original outline called for Mariah here instead of Midler, and she would've walked with a gimp as a result of permanent damage she received from her fight with Joseph and Avdol. I changed this for a couple reasons: first of all, I would have had to rework/add onto Bastet in order for her to work in this arc, which I didn't think a lot of people would like. Also, Demonic Heartbreak used her already, so. Y'know. I think Midler fits better in Chicago IX as a SEES member anyways.

With that in mind, it should come as no surprise that Cascada wasn't a part of the original outline, either. High Priestess was originally going to be the "main" enemy Stand of this arc, but I changed that. I cannot stress enough that readers from Fanworks have been really rallying for more original Stands in Iron Touch. This is the best of both worlds—I get my canon characters and you get your OC. Hooray! I like Cascada and Moon River's aesthetics, if nothing else.

I did look it up and yes, bees are native to Egypt.

I feel like it should be pretty obvious what SEES is and how it works by now. If not, please let me know in some way and I can give a more detailed explanation in a future chapter.

In case you didn't know: a green room is an area backstage where actors wait for their cues to go onstage. I've heard different reasons for why they're called that; sometimes it's a simplified English pronunciation of a foreign word, other times it's because actors would throw up there, and I don't know which is accurate. They're not actually green. In smaller theaters (like an amphitheater), green rooms can double as hair and makeup rooms, like what we see here.

I feel like giving Moon River a mermaid theme is a bit of a cop out, but @simpingforcreamsoda said he really liked the design, so I hope you guys do too.

Music references:

Ok so I didn't originally intend for this to be a music reference, but there is a song called The Man in the Picture by The Bobkatz. I chose the title just based on it being a double reference to both Polnareff and Boney. But I listened to the song and I think it fits pretty well so I'm adding it to the playlist. Why not.

Cascada is named after a German dance music act of the same name. (I actually didn't know Cascada was German until now, the more you know)

Cascada's beta name was Moon River at one point, but that honestly did not last long. I'm trying to avoid making OCs with two word names, because having them be one word names is so much easier to write.

Moon River gets its name from a song originally sung by Audrey Hepburn for the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's. The song is so famous and has enough covers that I feel comfortable breaking my "no licensed music" rule (as in, no music originating from other media like video games or musicals) for it. The version I'm using on all the music reference playlists isn't the original Audrey Hepburn version, but rather the Andy Williams cover. I think that version specifically should give some insight as to why I chose this song. If you know, you know ;)

As a side note, "Tiffany Amphitheater" was named after Breakfast at Tiffany's.

Moon River's beta name was Hips Don't Lie, and the Stand's ability was going to be more tied to Cascada's dancing. As the ability changed, I changed the reference as well.

Not a music reference, but Midler's appearance here (specifically the buck teeth) were based off of Winifred Sanderson (played by Bette Midler) from the movie Hocus Pocus. IRL Midler has gone on record to say that this is her favorite film role of all time and she is the only reason that the sequel came out even remotely like it did, so I'm not just arbitrarily choosing a random movie reference here.

[epaulando]

Playing the game right back!

3, 5, 23 for the getting to know you game 🧡

3. What playlists do you have on your phone?

soooooo many oh my god. my longest is called BPE (which stands for best playlist ever and i started it when i was twelve) and it’s just every song i deem worthy of downloading. so it’s currently about 80 hours. other notable playlists include “oh mein gott zis playlist is full of kuntenserven,” “lesbian strut,” “2024 WDC standings,” “indie bildungsroman,” etc. i have far too many playlists for my own good.

5. Guilty pleasures

since Halloween, sooooo much chocolate. i guess being raised catholic i kind of feel guilty about lots of things so nothing is particularly more or less guilty than anything else.

23. Do you prefer phone calls, FaceTime, or texting?

i think they’ve all got their purposes. if i want to talk to somebody for a long time i’m probably going to FaceTime them because i use my hands and face a lot when talking. if it’s important but short i’ll call somebody for clarity, and if it doesn’t fit into those categories (or i’m in public) it’s a text.

thank you for the ask!!!!!

[strapstylehub]

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[appreciatingtokrev]

that's true, i just keep reminding myself that nothing last forever but i am a bit sad about the ending. do you normally go to an art museum? ah, i suppose life is full of surprises, you never know what is around the corner. that's great, it's better to see things as the cup half full than empty.

i think gi will still be the company's most successful game. do you just stick to PC games then? isn't hsr the only one whose have a voice for the MC? i'm always phone based so i'm lost with the letters lol. wait, you can play it in class? 👀

don't worry, quite a few people retake a year no matter what country they are in so you're not the only one and i understand retaking a year more than once can be a bit demotivating but you can get through this.

just try not to beat yourself up about it, you are trying your best. yes, extra time to re-evaluate some options, would you like to goes into the STEMs? or another field?

i can imagine lmao, some kpop fans are too extreme though where they end up becoming saesangs. which kpop group did she introduce you to? i am an ex-kpop fan so i no longer know about the current groups.

those earrings would stand out wherever you would go especially since they are gold coloured lol. i have actually seen some shorts on YouTube of users styling their wigs and it's look like a profession because of how hard it look 💀 i'm wondering you might find a 15th february person? who know lmao but birthday twin would be most exciting. our time zone difference seem to be one hour apart so we should be able to wish each other on our days? i'll probably come off anon when it happen 🙂

you can take another shirt that fit you properly and ask them to use the shirt for guidance or get proper measurements. i just scrolled up the sleeves for mine lol. it is only the sleeves and nothing too complex so i can't imagine it will be expensive.

yeah, of course. i feel the same whenever any of my friendships or relationships or whatever end bc at the end there was still a lot of love and care involved. i love going to art museums <3 i generally love art and museums lol. i visit a bunch of museums every year, usually with my father, my godmother or said friend i mentioned. so yeah ig i usually visit them?

agreed lol, i mean hi3rd was already big before genshin but genshin topped it off still. omg my phone literally only has 16gb of storage so i can’t play any games on there ajdkffjskaj meaning i very much stick to my laptop. hi3rd doesn’t have a mc the way gi/hsr do and kiana does have a voice plus gi’s mc is occasionally voiced (only during cutscenes i think?). the mc in hsr is definitley voiced a lot more tho. i mean... i shouldn’t be playing any video games in class..... but always work on our devices anyways....... and i’d much rather play hi3rd than do french in class... ajdkfjdjsk (i’m not a good example of a student ajdkgkksj)

aa ty :) i’m doing great in school rn bc it’s all topics i’ve had before at a different school haha and i hope it’ll stay like this for a while, but let’s see. i’m also in the process of getting meds for my adhd so hopefully i’ll be able to study easier sometime in the future. honestly idk what i wanna do later rn... psychology or biology, specifically marine biology maybe? i’d love to be a marine biologist, but i get sea sick :/ though at the moment i’m mostly leaning towards studying medicine so i can work in forensic medicine. but luckily i still have at least a year to decide.

yeah, the kpop fans... she mostly introduced me to stray kids. i’m not like a big kpop fan, but i do have a playlist with kpop songs i like bc of her lol.

aren’t they silver colored tho? i made mine in silver at least ajdkfkks. but yeah, agreed. yeah, wig styling does look difficult tbh 💀 but. i believe in myself. if i believe enough it’s got to work...

maybe, who knows. ohh no more anon z next february 16th :0 hehe, i’ll gladly wait until then :3

ahh i have no long-sleeved shirts that correctly fit me ajfjfjhsk the only ones i’ve got left are from when my parents made me buy them bc i dislike them and prefer oversized hoodies and stuff by a lot lol. thanks for the tip though

[the-acid-pear]

I'm abnormal so I want to make a full post reasoning why I picked all the songs ^_^

1. The Boat Song by Amanda Palmer & Jason Webley

I actually have a whole fucking post showing my insane visions regarding deltarune and this song but the tl;dr is that it has strong snowgrave vibes and it starts w "my baby doll" and also religious imagery, heavy.

2. Poor Isaac by The Airborne Toxic Event

Unfortunately there's no why to this one. It's residual. This wasn't meant to be a Spamton playlist but it evolved into one and this was left over. Kind of like we still have extra teeth, you know?

3. Trouble by Bellstop

Singer says the streets used to be theirs, just like Spammy in their big shot era. They also lost their friends and any place in this world. There's also talk about returning it which in a way reminds me of Spamton in snowgrave stealing the kingdom ^_^

4. Biggering by The 88

C'mon. You never watched The Lorax?

Seriously though: it's a song about greed going from being okay with as little as he had (addispam) to needing more (big shot) and more and more (neo). There's also this sick animatic w it ! !

5. No Te Invité A Mi Cumpleaños by El Cuarteto De Nos

Well this is honestly mostly Vibes. But the song has a certain melancholic vibe to it (bc tavella is singing it LMAO te amo Santi) which stands out because it's meant to be a happy song, isn't it? They cut ties with this person, who they felt betrayed them, and they're not better, happier. They don't need them, their birthday is sooo much better without them.

And in a way, this also fits Spamton himself, with him being the person not invited, because they're described as being fake, a liar, and there's even the line of "tu pelo pasa de oscuro a castaño" which fits Spammy since he likely dyed his hair too (only other way around lol).

6. Where We Belong by Shayfer James

We are stepping into the songs that make me go "I have no idea what I meant by this". If I had to reverse ingeneer my epiphany, however, I'd say... perhaps the lines about overthrowing the king and picking apart the promised land made me think of Snowgrave.

7. Catharsis by AlicebanD

I'm not even going to lie to y'all the angel of self shipping influenced me to put this here. But the beginning lyrics fit him like a tee. Fake smiles, hungry and cold, full of debt, broken internally and externally...

8. Cadillac Car by Playboy Manbaby

This one's one of my favorites of the playlist, and a rather simple one, not too much with the lyrics. But the protagonist sounds like A Mess, but attempt to remain almost formal? Wearing a nice white dress and doing their hair...

And they fucking hate their boss, which, I mean, it really seems to be Spamton's case since he loved being a big shot for having freedom and shit.

9. Ven Aquí by Los Bunkers

ANOTHER ONE I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT I MEANT BY IT. I literally tried to read the lyrics and twist it and try to find the answer but I can't? My best guess is honestly Swatchton. But it'd be Spamvil?

10. Afraid by The Neighborhood

Finalmente me puse las pilas, this song I feel confident about being here ! ! ^_^

Protagonist is facing identity issues, fearing being simply replaced, and is confident in that all their friends hate them.

There's even the line "sell your soul, not your body" which lol, lmao.

11. Hands Free by Rare Americans

There's the mention of a King and a Queen, and fittingly enough only the queen is in possession of something modern like a phone.

This is a song about the cruelty of the place the protagonist lives in, merely attempting to survive, having given up on the possibility of receiving help. Felt it fit here!

Also, the final line about a disease around town well heh ........ you know I'm gonna bring up snowgrave again BBY 😎

11. Bubblegum Bitch by Marina & The Diamonds

Oh brother this song is so Big Shot era Spamton coded. So hollow, so superficial, so ambitious. She outright calls herself a doll. You'd even make an argument for there being a side of Swatchton to this too. 😳

12. 1989 by Mindless Self Indulgence

I think I heard this song along Spammy in a video but I'll be damned if I can find it. Either way, it's kinda close to 1997 innit? And it speaks about wanting to be in control yet not being the time for him yet. "My body's not even cold, my act is just getting old" I feel are perfect for him too because of his fall from grace and futile attempts to be someone once again.

13. Darlin' Love by The Haunted Windchimes

I looove this song for Spamton as an even ironic romantization of his relationship with the stranger on the phone, painting his obsessive dependency on whoever that was as this toxic romance. Especially because of the bridge mentioning futile attempts at calling on the tellyphone, even in the end where the protagonist's lover leaves despite his pleads, ending with him trying to still call her.

14. Creep by Radiohead

This one is actually not a personal epiphany! This is here because of this drawing here that made me go "omg it's true that is so him" so I added it LMAO

15. You're Nobody Till Somebody Wants You Dead by Saint Motel

I truly feel this is how Spamton feels from his end, even if it's really not true. It's that air of betrayal and just giving up in a highly competitive and aggressive environment such is a business one.

15. Dirty Imbecile by The Happy Fits

This one I feel fits Spamton in his Big Shot era, but this one shows the harsher side to it because even with a big business and fame and all he had he was still a sad and lonely little powerless man. I specially love "I'm smart, I'm tough, I'm bourgeoisie? And I'll play out this lie until I die.", the lyric video potential of this song is thru the ROOF ☝️😤

Did I ever share this? Anyway from one to ten how badly should I be put on a mental hospital?

[acidcitypoets]

fever dreams // by cigarettelarry on ao3

Keith and Lance don’t get along. They start sleeping together anyways.

// "Doing it just to spite you, babe.” //

college-au feat. rivals-with-benefits and falling in love while falling apart. 18+. chapter one posted now - read here