#I have a feeling there will be a lot of variants of this cause it's so easy to mix and match lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tokoyamisstuff · 4 months ago

Note

Random thought how good do you think each invincible variant would be at eating 😺 is there any of them who would be an actual munch

18+ explicit content

Sis, don't- it's not worth it...

Other variants under the cut!

Omnivincible is more skilled than most of them. I just feel like he's got a mature approach and wouldn't just mindlessly delve in like some horny teenager.

He'd take his sweet time, enjoying himself without necessarily wanting something in return. In general he takes great pride in causing you pleasure. Is also pretty creative. After all his strenght allows him to eat you out in positions you didn't even know were possible.

Thought you can only come once at a time? He'll prove you otherwise.

Movincihawk constantly brags about his 'superior technique' but at the bottom line he's not all that good at it, sorry.

It's not like he isn't skilled, but he's pretty selfish and impatient. Any kind of foreplay is not a priority for him in general, he likes to go straight to the point.

Fucks pretty well to make up for it though.

Sinister Mark acts like he's doing you a favor, but with how eager he buries himself between your legs it's evident to say he enjoys this as much - if not even more than - you.

This man pins your thighs apart and eats you out like a man starving. Your taste drives him fucking crazy, so yes it could happen that he bites down harder than he intended to.

Likes to eat you out on your period. No I will not elaborate.

Striped/Target Invincible is super vocal during the whole thing. His grunts and groans vibrate against your folds, he doesn't even notice the effect you have on him.

Hope you're ready for the whole range of dirty talk, mostly degrading but occasionally throwing in words of acknowledgement. Tells you how this is your place - beneath him, completely at his mercy.

Uses his fingers better than his tongue, but is fairly good at both. The combination will send you straight to heaven.

No Goggles Invincible is probably the biggest tease on the entire planet.

This man will push you to your absolute limits, reducing you to a whining, moaning, begging puddle of lust. But he's got no mercy, prolonging your sweet torture for as long as he can - you're only allowed to cum if he says you're done.

With him the thin line between pain and pleasure is blurred into a mixture of pure overstimulation, but goddamn it's worth it.

Viltrumite Mark isn't familiar with earth's customs of intimacy. In their culture, canonically, they solely have sex for procreation. Though we never saw Debbie complaining about Nolan either, so I'm confident he can learn.

Gets the hang of it pretty fast, and quickly grows insateable with this new form of closeness he never got to experience before. He's an absolute mess, almost breaking the bedframe as he pathetically humps the mattress, wanting more more more of you.

Needs lots of cuddles and to be told he did a good job afterwards, pretty please.

Prisoner Mark was in solitary confinement for over a year - prepare to be destroyed. R.I.P.

He'll dive in between your legs and won't leave this place until he's got his fill of you, which could take him a while so get cozy.

Not an inch of your body is left untouched, as if he intents to memorize every detail, just in case you'd slip from his grasp once again.

Be prepared to cum until your body gives up. Man's got to make up for the time he spent away from you.

Unmasked Mark is very gentle, almost cautious in his efforts as if you were a fragile flower one needed to properly care for or it'd wither. He still can't fully believe you're here with him, so he's extra anxious about doing something wrong.

You'll slowly and sensually be guided towards your orgasm, his eyes never leaving yours as he reverently observes your every reaction.

Expect some premium aftercare!

Fully Masked Invincible knows you inside and out, has memorized all the weak spots that make you sing for him. He is completely and utterly devoted to your pleasure, maybe even a little too eager in his efforts since he tends to forget himself in the process.

To him your body is a temple meant for worship, so you'd relentlessly get showered in praise and compliments while he explores your body.

Will initiate at every given opportunity, but never pushes it. He just wants to make you happy, really!

2K notes · View notes

fiepige · 2 years ago

Text

Made some more changes to one of my Venom!Hobie concepts (yeah I have several at this point- it's the one with the cat-symbiote lol) and decided that I'm gonna make them a Hobie-variant instead since I've made too many changes to him (both due to his origins- which inevitably would change his behavior and world view + I've made a few changes to his looks as well) to still view him as the same Hobie as the one from atsv.

So now he's a different version of Hobie instead.

(Shout out to @the-cat-and-the-birdie for sharing their version of a Hobie variant to open my eyes to the concept!)

Idk if this version of Venom!Hobie counts as a spidersona or an oc since he's based on a character from the movie?? Or is this called something else? Please lemme know I'm new to this stuff ^^'

#also idk if people would even want to hear about him since he's technically not the real Hobie anymore (if he ever was to begin with?)#cause the brain rot is still very real and I have a bunch of headcanons for him but idk if people are interested #or if I should just stick to my first version of Venom!Hobie #also I'm genuinely curious as to how I should refer to him cause I've never made a variant before #so what do you call it when you take a character and change a lot of stuff about them?#Cause it's still Hobie but not the original? Idk I'm new to all of this stuff #can I call him an oc if he's based on a character from the movie but he's different but still the same??#or is this a spidersona? cause idk how they work tbh- like do they need to be based on their creator?#cause then this is NOT a spidersona lol #I truly don't know what to call him though #cause Venom!Hobie is still the real Hobie put in some different What If scenarios regarding symbiotes #whereas this new variant has a bunch of stuff changed to a point I don't feel like he's the Real Hobie anymore if that makes sense?#also #the-cat-and-the-birdie #hope it's okay that I mentioned you in the post #if not please let me know!#also gotta come up with a tag for him cause I view him as seperate from Venom!Hobie (though their symbiote form looks the same) for now...#guess I'll call him Symbiote!Hobie for now #Symbiote!Hobie #hobie brown #spider punk #Venom!Hobie #across the spider verse au #across the spider verse #atsv #my post

1 note · View note

buck-star · 1 month ago

Text

Put your hands in mine

Pairing: Boyfriend!Bucky Barnes x Girlfriend!Reader

Summary: He can't breathe. His lungs burn and the water above his head gets darker and darker. Theres no more light. Until there is again.

Warnings: Anxiety, hurt/comfort, crowds, established relationship, fluff

Wordcount: 2.263 Words

Authors Note: Beta’d, aesthetics by @thevillainswhore. Divider made by me. @felicitylemon this is for you, because you’re not alone and your reblog made my day.

“Put your hands in mine.

And I will pull you out of the darkest waters."

Loud noises. Crowded places.

Bucky hates it, and yet, he still tries to live his life as best as he can. He keeps trying to get out of your shared apartment more often, to be around people for longer periods of time. But somehow, it only makes him want to curl in on himself, with you wrapped in his arms in the safety of your apartment.

He’s not ready for the world just yet. He’s not ready for the business, the noises of the actions. He had them long enough — for years and years. And now, finally settled down with the woman he loves, he wants to keep the peace a while longer before he’s ready to face the loud world outside.

But somehow, sometimes he still manages to interact with the outside — as long as you’re by his side he knows he can do more than he believes.

Bucky’s fingers cling to the shopping cart he’s currently pushing through the aisle of the grocery store. His ocean blue eyes dart from one side of the aisle to the other and back to the cart as he takes in the different products.

Lots of jam, way more than he used to know back in the days. Bread — delicious and softer than he knows, and so many variants — you always buy different ones. One better than the other. But his favorite one is still the brown bread with the star on top. It reminds him of his childhood, and it tastes almost the same as remembers.

Maybe if he just keeps his mind busy enough he can try and mute the noises around him. If he just —

“Buck?” You ask softly, your warm fingers circling the back of his hand and his white knuckles. Your voice is soft and soothing, just like the smile that’s spreading on your lips.

You’re smaller than Bucky, but you’re standing perfectly in front of him to bring his attention to you. You’re blocking the people around you from running into your boyfriend, making it easier for him to focus on you — and only you.

“Do you want to get out of here already?” You offer but your boyfriend shakes his head and turns his head to interlace your fingers with his thicker ones.

You’re always so soft with him, sweet and loving. Bucky could melt with you around. The understanding and support you offer him causes his heart to clench every now and then, the insecurities growing stronger. How does someone dark like him, deserve someone so sweet like you?

Never pushing him, never judging him. Bucky wonders what he did to make you fall in love with him. But no matter what it was, he’s glad he was able to get your interest, to get the love you show him.

Bucky takes a shaky breath. You offered him to go shopping by yourself, but he didn’t want you to do it alone — he wanted to come with you. And even though he regrets his decision slightly, he’s grateful to have you around.

“N-no,” he says, forcing a smile on his plump lips. You sigh but nod, knowing that Bucky’s feeling overwhelmed already. But you also don’t want to act like he’s a kid who doesn’t know his own limits well enough to decide himself.

Bucky can decide when his limits are reached. And as much as he tries to push them every now and then, you know he would never lie, would it really be too much for him.

His eyes are slightly narrowed and he tightens his grip around your hand. “I-it’s fine, babydoll. A bit loud and crowded but not too much.”

You hum softly, followed by a soft giggle. You lean closer to him, standing in your tiptoes to press a soft kiss to his lips before you wrap one of your arms around his waist. The other still interlaced with his thick fingers to sooth him and keep him calm.

“You’re doing good, Buck. I’m proud of you and I’m glad you decided to come here with me,” you mumble while you push him with you through the aisle. Bucky sighs softly, relaxing with your arm around him. He knows you will catch him when he feels like he’s going to fall and drown in his fear again.

When you finally reach the section with fruits and vegetables, you look for a quiet corner, pushing the cart and Bucky there to keep him away from all the noises and business of the other people.

A soft, warm smile spreads on your lips as he leans down to kiss you softly. Bucky’s blue orbs light up slightly when he can focus on you and the music of the store but nothing else.

It’s quiet. He can watch everyone and it’s less crowded. Perfect for him to wait for you to get a few fruits and vegetables.

You move through the aisles to take some apples and bananas before you move further to the vegetables. It’s a bit crowded but when you look up to Bucky you see him still softly smiling at you. There’s not many people around him, only an elderly lady and a mother with her kid.

So you look back to the vegetables and get some peppers and cucumbers too. You can still feel his intense gaze on you, taking in every detail.

Bucky’s tapping his fingers against the cart, keeping his focus on the music and on you so he won’t be too overwhelmed, until —

“Ow! I’m sorry, sir,” a lady apologizes as she pushes her cart with force into Bucky’s side. The kid on her arm is crying loudly, and the moment they notice their mother's attention on someone else — and not on the gummy bears they want — they start screaming.

The pain in Bucky’s hips is nothing compared to the noises that crash down on him like a heavy weight. The music from the loudspeakers is suddenly way louder. The mother talking to her child. The child that’s still crying and screaming. And suddenly he’s aware of every noise around him.

Bucky can hear every little noise in the whole shop. The people around him. The people on the other side of the shop. Even the registers and the cooling systems of the fridges.

His breath hitches, his chest tightens as he wraps his fingers tightly around the cart. His blue eyes are widened as the noises become even louder. Bucky can hear his heartbeat so loud and clear like every other noise in the shop. And there is no way for him to mute all these noises.

“B-ba…by-do—“ Bucky chokes, his hands shooting to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt tightly. He tries to pull on it, to rip it off his body but it doesn’t budge. It only tightens and becomes heavier until he feels like he can’t breathe anymore. “P-ple—“

And there it is again — the feeling of the dark water around him. Only a small amount of sun is shining through the darkness but it’s fading slowly. And he’s sinking, further and further while he feels like he’s drowning.

Bucky never thought it would be possible for him — or for anyone — to feel like they could drown without physically being in a body of water. And yet, he feels as if he's sinking into the depth of the ocean, the water surrounding him everywhere and there’s no place he could grab a hold on.

The water is hugging him like an old friend, but it isn’t an old friend. It never was and it never is — it never will be. It’s only his darkest enemy, his fear of losing control, of losing himself.

He gasps loudly, his eyes scanning the people around him to find you but everything is blurred. Everyone looks so similar, the voices mix with the others. He just can’t make out where you are, he can’t hear your voice, he can’t see your face, your worried expression or maybe your soft smile — he can’t tell because everyone looks just like the others in the shop.

“B-babydo-ol-l…” he whispers, tugging harshly at the collar of his shirt. A soft whimper leaves his plump lips as he feels his lungs burning. The darkness of his thoughts became worse. Even the corners of his view turn a few shades darker, supporting the feeling to sink further in the ocean.

The sun — actually the light of the shop — disappears with every second. The weight that’s pulling him down becomes heavier and heavier, his breathing unsteady and frantic as he tries to grab for anything so he won’t drown.

“Buck,” your soft voice is audible. It’s so close and yet so far. He can’t reach for you, but he wants to — he needs to. “Bucky, hey, baby. You’re safe, try to take a deep breath for me, please.”

He can feel your warm hand reaching for his. Your fingers curl around Bucky’s thicker ones as you pull his clenched fingers off his shirt. He doesn’t want to let go of his only grounding source but he also doesn’t stop you — deep down he knows you’re his real grounding, his anchor.

“Loud noises are overwhelming, aren’t they? But it’s okay. I’m here, I've got you. Just try and focus on my voice, I know it’s hard but you need to listen to me otherwise we can’t get out of here,” you say. Your voice is still so soft and soothing, warming his chest as he feels his eyes moving toward yours.

Bucky’s mouth opens before he closes it again. He remains silent but you can see his eyes flickering from yours to your fingers before they settle back on yours.

He takes in the soft smile that’s tugging at your lips as you stand in front of him — causing his heart to flutter slightly. Your fingers interlace with his as you rub soothing circles over the back of his hands. Bucky notices your lips moving, trying to calm him down and even though the noises are still louder than your voice, he can make out some of the words you’re saying.

“I know you listen to me, Buck. Maybe not completely but I know you try. And I’m proud of you, you’re doing so good, baby,” you assure him, hoping it will help him to calm down.

While dating Bucky you learned how to handle his anxiety and his panic attacks. Not just because of therapy but also because of all the talks you have after such a situation — allowing Bucky to look back and help you both to understand what you can do to either help or avoid these situations.

From finding out what overwhelmed him to what he felt until he can tell you what he might have needed, you talk about every detail Bucky wants to share with you. So, with his help of what he could have needed in such a moment you can try different things out until you both are happy with the result.

“You have to stay calm. I’m not gonna hurt you, but I need to cover your ears. It might be a bit of pressure but then the noises will be quieter,” you explain before you bring his hands to your hips, placing them there for him to ground himself before you reach up to cover his ears softly.

Bucky flinches, his fingers digging almost painfully into your hips as he stares at you with widened, fear filled eyes. Your thumbs stroke softly along his cheeks, still covering his ears as you feel him relaxing softly into your embrace.

Bucky’s breath slows down, the noises are quieter. Once again — like so many times before — your hand reached out for him when he was drowning. It’s your hands that take a tight hold on him, making sure he can’t drown in the darkness.

You move your hands down his cheeks, wiping away a few streaks of tears before you settle your hands around his neck.

“I-I’m sorry…” he mumbles, leaning his head against yours. Bucky takes a shaky breath, way more steady than before but still on edge with his emotions. “I shouldn’t have gone shopping with you… it’s only… I’m only in your way.”

“You will never be in my way. I’m glad you came to the shop with me,” you mutter, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose. “I don’t like you suffering like that, Buck. But you went out with me, you should be proud.”

“Are you proud?”

“Of you?”

Bucky nods softly. His blue eyes flickering to yours, uncertainty written all over his face. How can he possibly be proud of himself when he just had a panic attack where he needed your help to calm down?

“More than anything,” you say with such a softness and honesty that Bucky feels like he’s melting in your arms. He nods, sighing softly. “I’m really proud of you, Buck. You’re so much stronger than you think. You went to hell and back, and yet, you’re still so lovely and caring about the people you love.”

Bucky smiles softly, a soft pink creeping onto his cheeks as he tries to hide his face in the crook of your neck. “Don’t say that…”

“Because you know it’s true?”

“No… because it makes me blush,” he whines playfully. Bucky leans back a bit, his ocean blue orbs flickering to your lips, then back to your eyes. Within another second his warm, plump lips press against yours, pouring all his love and adoration into the kiss.

@armystay89 @rogersbarber @firelilyfox

529 notes · View notes

gpt890 · 3 months ago

Text

if I think too hard about Gayvincible & William I start throwing up and crying and screaming

I remember watching the ep in season 1 where Mark & Amber tag along with William to visit the University and I like Clutched my pearls so hard at this scene and turned to my bf like “THIS HAS TO BE WHY GAYVINCIBLE EXISTS…”

I didn’t Think this was gonna be a long form post but fuck I have a lot to say hold on

This scene in the Gayvincible-verse (spare me I literally don’t know what else to call it) to Me would read more so as William being not only shocked that Mark’s Invincible-but also getting a small crush on him for saving his life. I personally would like to imagine Rick is still there and he and William are still a thing, but maybe just not as emotionally invested? I can’t see William as a guy who swaps his interests so easily, so maybe he just has extra room to be attracted to Mark bc he’s not super serious about Rick.who knows anyone else cab see it differently it’s not canon I just like making my own personal canon

Then due to this new Romantic infatuation with Mark (specifically his super badass scary super hero side) William acts pretty much the same as he does in the normal episode but Tenfold-def tries to slip really bad flirting into there and Mark just. Isn’t impressed 😭in Maskless Mark’s universe specifically, I see his relationship with Amber crumbling partially due to him questioning his Own sexuality (his name is GayVincible. he likes boys only💔) and that of course frustrates him even more so in this scene bc he doesn’t know Why he’s staying with Amber if she seems to get so angry over things Mark *has* to do, and if he’s not even that attracted to her..!!!

That’s why I feel like in this universe Mark would agree to follow William to find Rick immediately instead of looking for Amber at the party. (Yes he flies William in costume to where Rick went missing and despite William’s worries about Rick he’s Extremely giddy he gets to be carried in Mark’s arms.) But to sync things up and make William getting restrained make sense, maybe Sinclair knocks them both out at first and restrains them both (to which Mark easily breaks out of the restraints bc duh). The three super humans would go to restrain him again, which causes the fight that happens in canon to break out.

A thing I like to think about the other Mark variants is that they’re all just a little bit more Viltrumite than og Mark is, who is closer to a 50/50 human-Viltrumite. Maskless Mark specifically probably isn’t too much more Viltrumite, but he’s closer to a 55/45 range.

That being said, Maskless Mark is Stronger than og Mark, and doesn’t get his shit rocked as hard by the super humans in this universe😭

When he knocks Rick’s faceplate off, William still attempts to reason with Rick, and admits to the “doing the dirty by the lake last summer” thing, but my freak ass likes to think that maybe….Thats what helps motivate Mark to kill this guy. I’ve seen a lot of ppl lean towards a more “yandere” trope for Maskless Mark, and while I wouldn’t say this is necessarily *That*, I do like the idea of him being extremely jealous…

All that being said, Rick *doesn’t* come back to consciousness anyways, so Mark *has* to kill him. And he does so by snapping his neck in front of William mercilessly 😭

Which leads to this very intimidating and yet. Intimate? Screenshot between them,,the aftermath of the college trip becomes that Mark comforts William the whole night, and can’t get himself to leave his side, even after Amber returns back to the dorm and he finds her asleep in Rick’s bed. Amber and Mark break things off at this point, and they are pretty much the same as they are in canon about it (not hostile or terrible to each other after the break up, just very very sad. Maybe a little less sad since it dragged on for less time here) And Eventually Mark gets with William. Probably post Nolan betrayal, as William is Terrified for his safety and Mark…is single and crazy in love with him.

However their relationship ends or William potentially dies is still a mystery to me-but that’s up for other Wark fans to decide I guess >;D

#wark #william x mark #i miss william #gayvincible #maskless mark #invincible #I’m still a Markrex main but I am partial to Wark specifically with Maskless mark🫡#they’re soooo silly #gptrambs #think piece #au #I guess?#invincible war #Invincible au #mark grayson variants #mark grayson #william clockwell #Maskless mark x william

443 notes · View notes

electricwhims · 6 months ago

Text

Infant Resize Preset

Are you sick of using demon toddlers? Do you want newborns that actually LOOK like newborns? Well you came to the right place cause one night I had a midnight thought that I turned into a reality and it was to make those toddler resize presets but for INFANTS!

The proportions look so much more newborn-like, eh? I tried my best to use real newborn references for an accurate scale!

DISCLAIMER: THIS PRESET IS FOR POSE USE ONLY. It kind of works with gameplay, but it doesn't give you any new gameplay features for newborns. They will act like infants

HOW TO USE?

STEP 1: Equip preset in CAS

The preview looks like this! And is located under body presets!

-Note that you CANNOT go back to a regular size infant without defaulting their genetic body type. So I recommend making a CAS backup just for the infant!

STEP 2: Get you some poses that work with this preset! (I have a launch day list at the bottom of this post!!)

-Resized toddler poses WILL NOT work with this preset.

-Regular sized Infant poses will work with the preset, but it may require T.O.O.L to fix the positioning.

STEP 3: Pose as normal!! If you're having trouble with positioning, see the known issues section of this post!

POSEMAKER'S GUIDE

To make poses using this preset, you must use the special rig provided in the download section of this post! It's exactly like posing with resized toddlers.

-You must NEVER use the reset rig button. That defaults the rig to regular infant size. To undo changes please use alt + R and alt + G

KNOWN ISSUES

Infants are notoriously glitchy and for some reason when they're small sized, they act just a little bit crazier.

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND YOU DOWNLOAD T.O.O.L TO HELP SOLVE THESE ISSUES.

-If your teleporter is throwing last exceptions, your small infants may become misaligned with their caregiver's. This is easily fixable with T.O.O.L.

-When posing on an incline, the infants WILL MOVE OUT OF PLACE. These kinds of misalignments can't be fixed with T.O.O.L. I recommend only posing on flat terrain.

-This is not an issue, but more of a suggestion. If you're posing with some kind of bed, these babes are tiny and hard to click on. I recommend downloading a camera mod such as this one to get down low under the beds.

If you have any other detrimental issues, please let me know! I'm happy to help troubleshoot! You can reach out on here, but I respond faster on my instagram!

Free poses you can use right now!!

Thank you SOOO much to my amazing friends @truecolorssims and @herecirmsims for making 100% free poses to release alongside this launch!! Ya'll are INCREDIBLE and I couldn't have done this without you!!!

Cold Welcome by Me -Birth poses with complications

Newborn Singles by Me

It's Your Dad by Me - NICU visit poses

Safe in My Arms by Me -Sim being handed a baby and cuddle sesh.

It's So Hard by Me - Sim crying by a crib and being handed a baby

Complete by Me - Polyamorous throuple with baby

Isn't Mommy Awesome? By Me - Breastfeeding/Bottlefeeding with toddler and both parents.

Hold This by @herecirmsims - Couple and trio poses handing off a baby!!

Emotions With A Newborn by @herecirmsims - like the title suggests!!

Teeny Tiny by @truecolorssims - Family portrait poses with newborn!!

There was also supposed to be a preemie size variant of this preset but for some reason I couldn't get it to work!! Maybe one day when I have more time to troubleshoot I can release that, but for now, I didn't want to put this off any longer!

(UPDATE: PREEMIE SIZE IS HERE!) It's also included in the infant resize download at the bottom.

I put a LOT of hours into this preset and all the poses to go along with it and I'm releasing them COMPLETELY FREE So I feel a slightly stricter TOS is warranted.

-Do not reupload

-No poses made with this preset are allowed to be perma paywalled PERIOD. Early access is allowed if it is released for free in a timely manner (2-3 weeks)

-Do not include the preset in your post. Please link back to this post!

IF THESE TOUs ARE VIOLATED I WILL BLOCK YOU ON ALL PLATFORMS

If you use it, please tag me on here or on Instagram @electric.whims Not a requirement, but I do want to see!

@ts4-poses @alwaysfreecc

DOWNLOAD: SIMFILESHARE| PATREON

#sims4 #sims4poses #ts4poses #ts4 #ts4cc #preset #infantpreset #family #newborn

485 notes · View notes

notatzimisce · 3 months ago

Text

Brain Tickles Masterpost

Someone asked so now there is one. Only kind of a FAQ but it's easier to format this information as a series of questions.

Q: What's this brain tickles/brain implant thing you keep posting about?

A: I'm a cyborg science experiment. The less cool way to say this is that I'm a patient in a clinical trial testing a new application of deep brain stimulation. I have a pacemaker for my brain, basically. The device isn't new but the use is.

Q: What's the device like?

A: It's a couple of depth leads attached to a small box set into my skull, everything underneath the skin. It monitors my brain activity in one side of my amygdala, and when it detects a certain concerning biomarker (pattern of brain activity), it zaps my left ventral capsule in response.

You can check out the actual manuals for the device here, which include a step-by-step for neurosurgeons. I think that's pretty cool.

Q: So you don't have epilepsy. What disease are they studying this for?

A: I have treatment-resistant major depression. The study guys think this is probably a different disease altogether from what you can treat with medication, due to how it behaves, and also, because it won't respond to anything short of direct neurostimulation (like TMS or ECT, which will get a response but not ultimately work).

Besides making me not life-ruiningly miserable for literally no reason all the time, the stimulation makes major improvements to my otherwise pretty shaky cognition and memory, gives me the energy to perform basic tasks, and seems to fix a lot of autonomic stuff like insomnia and digestive issues as well.

Q: Does that mean they know what causes depression?

A: They know several different parts of the brain that you can tickle to treat otherwise intractable depression. Brains are awfully individually variant, and you can't reasonably guess which site is going to do it for a given person.

Q: What's the root cause, then?

A: No idea! If they have a guess, they're not telling me, and I'll find out when they publish.

Q: How did they figure out which part of your brain to tickle and which to monitor?

A: They gave me an SEEG and stimulated a bunch of likely areas to see what happened. After that, they spent a few months going through the literal terabytes of data recorded.

Q: How much did the surgery suck?

A: The SEEG was less bad than any root canals I'd had up to that point, although I've had less shitty ones since. The worst part was that I was considered a fall risk and needed to call a nurse whenever I had to pee.

The actual device implantation was worse to recover from than a root canal, but still sucked less than my totally easy, uncomplicated, textbook wisdom tooth removal. I spent two and a half days napping on-and-off, I took a lot of tylenol, and I couldn't sleep on that side of my head for a couple weeks. That's about it.

In advance, they told me there was about a 1% chance of infection and a 2-3% chance of bleeding. Neither thing happened. Yay! Compared to the odds of complications from other types of surgery, that's pretty great.

Q: Can you feel your brain getting zapped?

A: Normally, no. I can feel when it turns on in the morning because I pretty quickly start to feel more alert and less shitty, but the standard zaps aren't strong enough for me to feel physically. If they were to crank up the amperage some, I could feel that, and it'd be extremely distracting.

Q: What does that feel like?

A: At lower levels, if I can just barely feel it, it's kind of like a little anxiety thrill or tickle of anticipation down in the core of my chest, and my palms prickle. At higher levels, like they used during the SEEG, it's more like a rush of electric energy and heat that wells up in my core and spreads out into my limbs, and I have to wiggle them around to "shake it off" or it's too much to handle.

I felt some other, different things from other sites that they didn't end up going with. There was one that made my eyes unfocus unevenly and made me feel weird and lightheaded in a way I can only describe synesthetically (swell, rubber, gum, balloon, pink-red), and gave me the sense that something Bad would happen if they kept pushing that button. There was one that just made one or both of my hands start buzzing for some reason.

Neurostim that you can feel is incredibly distracting. It's not like inputs from outside that your brain can evaluate and filter. You can't ignore it any more than you could ignore having a seizure. There was one setting we tried that made me feel kind of like I had an intangible "itch" somewhere inside my right shoulder and my right leg, and every time it fired, it derailed my thoughts so badly that I couldn't even focus on a simple phone game. Something more intense is going to knock you on your ass.

Once in a long while (once every five months or so, maybe?), I have dreams where I experience a different, half-remembered version of that electric energy feeling, even though the device doesn't stimulate me at night. Actually, it's been happening ever since the SEEG. I think my brain just learned and filed away a new type of sensation.

Q: If I got my brain tickled in the same place, would I feel that?

A: Almost certainly not. I can't guess at what you'd feel, but as mentioned, brains are really individually variant. It's pretty much different for everyone. You might feel something I don't even have a frame of reference for.

It also depends on the exact way you're being stimulated. The same site can either make me feel better or make me cry uncontrollably, depending solely on how long the electrical pulses are.

Q: How many amps are they hitting you with?

A: They can't tell me (yet) in case it placebos me in some way. I know it's less than 3 mA (because I can feel 3 mA) and probably more than 1. 6 mA is the strongest they've ever given me, which is a brick-to-the-face biofeedback high.

Q: How do they know if it's working and not a placebo effect?

A: You report twice-daily on your symptoms throughout the whole thing. There's a phase where they occasionally change the type of stimulation or turn it off entirely for several weeks. They don't tell you when they change anything.

Personally, it's consistently obvious to me within about ~20 minutes when they change something -- they've commented on how consistent my responses are and how quickly I see differences. I can even tell when they turn it off during visits to do recordings. I've heard that's not true of all the patients, though.

Q: What's this piss signal thing you mention?

A: At one point, the stimulation started giving me bladder spasms, so every time it fired I felt like I had to pee. They had to find a new setting that didn't do that. They didn't change anything at the time, so we don't know exactly what caused it. Possibly the electrode drifted a very, very tiny amount, or possibly my brain just built an annoying new connection that allowed this to happen.

The study guys reached out to some other experts they know about it, though, and determined that could happen if my hypothalamus was getting some stimulation by accident -- entirely possible, since it's pretty close to the electrode.

Q: Do you recharge it or get the battery replaced or what?

A: I have to get the entire battery pack/computer part of the device replaced every, probably, six to twelve years when the battery starts to run down. It detaches from the leads, so they won't have to redo the part that involves threading wires into my brain every time.

Q: Aren't you worried about your brain getting hacked?

A: Well, my implant doesn't have wifi or anything. Literally anything can be hacked somehow, but I'll worry about that when I get into a sworn blood feud with an engineer.

Q: Aren't you worried about handing over part of your body to a corporation?

A: The alternative is being in hell at all times forever. I too would like to have an open-source brain implant that's easy to replace though.

Q: Aren't you worried about never being able to get an MRI again?

A: I actually can get an MRI, as long as the MRI scanner puts out a basic-bitch amount of teslas and my implant is switched into MRI mode. I'm not totally sure how that works, but it puts a strain on the battery, so I'm guessing it's generating its own little field. My implant isn't ferrous, so the worry is less "yanking wires around" and more "tissue heating".

Q: Aren't you worried about your body rejecting it?

A: No, medical implants are made of materials like titanium and silicone that the body doesn't care about (unless you have a titanium allergy). I'm really not sure where the pop-culture idea of cybernetic rejection came from. I'm guessing it's writers not understanding why organ transplants reject and thinking it works the same way. Or something about how steel implants can sometimes start to corrode and irritate tissue.

Q: Aren't you worried about this being used to mind control everyone?

A: In my case, mind control is sort of the point.

But also, not really. I mean, you're talking about each individual person getting multiple MRIs, a ~$40,000 implant, three brain surgeries (two of which bookend a multi-week hospital stay), and requiring like a year's worth of fine-tuning from a team of specialized professionals. And it all requires so much precision that if you cut corners on any of this, you're not going to get the results you want.

The cost, time, and effort involved to implant people at scale would be fucking insane. Even if all the tech involved became cheap, you'd still have the problem where you need to pay a competent neurosurgeon for the SEEG and the actual device implantation, and a team of competent neurologists to spend at minimum several months gathering and analyzing data on how each person's brain works, because the individualization of the brain means you can't plug-and-play this shit. And each group -- let's be generous and say it takes only five such specialized professionals -- would be able to do this to about two people a year.

Maybe that will change the day we develop some means of simply scanning people's brains to map how they work in detail, at which point we'll basically have solved neurology.

Usually whenever there's a tumblr post going around about brain implants, someone freaks out about a hypothetical of, like, Amazon installing pleasure buttons in their workers to keep them compliant. That would involve spending minimum a hundred thousand dollars (but probably much more) on surgery, hardware, and calibration per disposable worker, and then if you fire them or they get a brain infection or something, you just lose that money. And if you cheap out, it doesn't work and you lose the money. And then the result, if it works, is that you get a button that makes them worse at their jobs when you press it.

A large corporation bent on technological enslavement to save a few pennies would literally get better results from slapping $30 shock collars on everyone.

Q: Does the study pay you?

A: I get the medical care for free. And $10 every other week to cover transportation costs.

#cyborgposting

361 notes · View notes

pedroscurls · 9 months ago

Text

in every lifetime (pt. 2)

summary: you and logan try to steer clear of each other, the scars running so deep that certain memories of the past occur. pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader word count: 3.5k tags / warnings: angst - post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), flashbacks from both reader's world and worst!logan's universe (in italics), no use of y/n. a/n: i'm so so surprised at how well the first part was received and i just want to thank everyone who's read it!!! i'm a sucker for angst and i'm so excited to make this into a longer series. in each part, there's gonna be a song that basically sums up the feels for the chapter. song: wherever you will go by the calling prev. part - next part.

“I’m not him.”

His words repeat in your mind like it’s some kind of mantra, trying to convince you that the Logan you saw a week ago wasn’t the same Logan you lost all those years ago.

But he was right there, so close and yet so far. The subtle touches that night only reminded you of the man you lost. Even after all this time, he still had such a strong hold on your heart.

But this Logan wasn’t yours and he made that very clear. It felt like the world was laughing in your face, taunting you by having the love of your life resurrected in a version that wanted nothing to do with you. You weren’t naive, you knew that this person wasn’t the same man you had fallen in love with, but your soul yearned for him and you knew he felt it too.

You never truly recovered from losing your Logan. Instead, you had just forced yourself to get up day in and day out for Laura because you knew that’s what Logan would have wanted you to do. As the years passed, you became numb to the loss of him. You tried not to think about him, tried not to reminisce of the moments you shared with each other, but there had been times throughout the years where something reminded you of him.

And every time, it crippled you. Took hold of every inch of your being until all you could think about was Logan and it broke your heart all over again.

But seeing him caused your entire world to stop, serving as a reminder of the gaping hole that your Logan left in your heart.

While you tried to forget your Logan, to just continue living your life until it was your turn to go, seeing a different version of him just brought back all of the memories you tried so hard to erase. You wanted to forget, wanted these memories of him gone from your mind because it just hurt too much.

But here he was. A walking reminder of the man you loved.

The man you lost.

And the man you will never get back.

–

“I’m not her.”

Logan couldn’t stop thinking about you since that night he saw you. He tried to tell himself that you weren’t her, to convince himself that you weren’t the same woman he lost.

But having you so close where he could have just reached out and touched you stirred a lot of unresolved emotions that he tried so hard to bury. He knew you weren’t the woman that he had fallen in with – you were just some version of her in this universe and he had to wonder if this was life’s way of punishing him for all of the things he had done in his.

Logan wanted to push you away and he made it very clear that night that he wasn’t your Logan and that he never would be. He needed to keep you at a distance, but every fiber of his being yearned for you. Since that night, all Logan could hear was your laugh, your voice. All he could see was your smile, your eyes that gazed up at him.

He tried so hard to snap out of it because you weren’t her.

And when he was alone, when the hope that things could be different finally vanished, all he could see now was the same woman who had died in his arms because of him. All he could hear was your voice, calling out to him to save you, and the last words you told him before you took your last breath.

He barely slept and drinking only did so much. This universe was supposed to be his second chance at being a better version of himself, but he didn’t know how he could do that when he knew you existed in this world.

Your mere existence haunted him, causing a lot of conflicting feelings.

He wanted another chance with you, but how could he do that when he knew that you were better off without him? Safer without him?

This Logan didn’t belong in this universe, he knew that much.

But he couldn’t help the hope that he felt within himself (and from you) that maybe this wasn’t life’s way of taunting you both, but rather a second chance to make things right.

To be happy.

To have an ending that you both deserve.

With each other.

—

“You know, I’d do anything for you,” you tell Logan, who’s lying in bed next to you. What had started as a very casual situationship had turned into something much more serious.

Logan started spending more and more nights at your place, finding comfort in your presence. You were the calm within the storm, the peace within the chaos. He didn’t know when things changed, when things shifted, but his soul yearned for you.

“I know you would, bub,” he’d reply. Logan never made his feelings for you known, never made it obvious because if he did, it would make things more complicated than he already made it to be. He often wondered why he found you so late in his life, after everything he had been through, Logan finally had a chance of happiness but he didn’t know how long he had.

He could feel that his body was much different than before. Could feel the pain of his wounds last longer before it healed itself.

But you made him feel young again, made him feel like he finally deserved a life that he had seen others live. A chance to be happy. A chance to love.

“I’m serious, Logan.”

“I know,” he repeats.

“I think I love you.” you admit.

Logan sits up in bed abruptly. He can feel his chest tightening with so many emotions: relief, joy, fear. He feels you reach out for him and he just stands up, gathering his clothes and beginning to put them back on without a word.

“Logan–”

“No,” he growls. “No.”

You scramble to your feet, grabbing the sheet from your bed to wrap around your naked frame. With one arm holding it up, you use your other hand to rest on his chest. “Stop running.”

“Ain’t running. We both know exactly what this was, bub,” Logan says, shrugging your hand off of him. “I ain’t good for you, and we both know that.”

“Don’t you love me too?” you ask, voice quivering as you take a step away from him. “I know who you are, what you are, the things you’ve done and seen… but I love all of you. The good, the bad. All of it.”

Logan pulls on his black slacks and white tank top, glancing over at you. He feels tethered to you, feels like if he walks out of that door that he wouldn’t come back and he’d never fully recover.

“Of course, I love you,” Logan admits. “But I can’t– We can’t–” he feels his breath hitch in his throat. “I mean it. I ain’t good for you, bub. You deserve someone better than me.”

“I deserve you,” you hesitantly reach out for him, afraid that he’s going to pull away from you again. “There is no one better than you, Logan.”

“Things don’t ever work out for me,” he whispers, looking down at your hand that moves to take hold of his. “If I lose you, I won’t ever forgive myself.”

“You won’t lose me,” you promise.

“You don’t know that.”

“What happens if I lose you? What happens then?”

Logan shrugs. “You’ll be fine.”

You shake your head in disagreement. “I have never loved anyone as much as I love you,” you tell him honestly. “My heart will always belong to you. In every lifetime. In every universe, I’m yours.”

Logan gazes at you and can see the tears in your eyes. Your free hand moves to rest gently on his chest, above his beating heart. You look at him in a way that no one ever has, that despite all of the things he has done, you still see the good in him.

And it was in that moment that Logan promised himself that he would do everything in his power to keep you happy, to make sure you knew how much he loved you.

“In every lifetime. In every universe,” he repeats, voice quiet as he leans into you…

Suddenly, you awake, gasping for air as you scramble to reach out to the empty space next to you. “Logan…” you call out for him, the sudden realization hitting you straight to your core. Tears begin to roll down your cheeks as you bring your legs up to your chest, beginning to cry into your knees. Your dreams – or rather memories – of Logan occur almost every night since meeting some version of him last week.

This new Logan had the same exterior as your Logan, haunted by his own memories, by his regrets and failures. But you couldn’t help the fact that while you were yearning and missing your Logan, you also craved this new Logan.

Was this life’s way of giving you another chance?, you had to wonder. And if it was, would you take it?

—

It was another morning where Logan was sitting on the couch, a bottle of liquor on the coffee table as he tried so hard to forget you and erase the memories that tied you to him. But even when he closed his eyes, you were all he could see.

“So, you do like me,” you grin up at him.

“I tolerate ya,” Logan answers with a smirk.

“Hm,” you gaze up at him. “I think you more than tolerate me. Just admit it, Logan. You like me.”

“And so what if I do, bub?” he asks, taking a careful step into your personal space. Logan can hear your heart race begin to beat faster and he smiles to himself. There had always been an instant attraction that he felt towards you when he came to the mansion and found you teaching a literature class to mutants. You had locked eyes with him as he was passing your classroom and flashed him a smile.

Logan never believed in love at first sight, but you had certainly made an impression on him from that brief glance alone. The more he got to know you and spend time with you, the stronger his feelings for you grew.

“If you do – which I think you do,” you begin. “Then I’d tell you that I like you too. A lot, actually.”

Now it was Logan’s turn to feel his heart racing at your admission. When he was around you, Logan felt calmer. And you always looked at him like he was someone worthy of your attention. Logan knew early on that there was a lingering longing for you, a craving that showed him he wanted more of you.

“That so, sweetheart?” Logan grins, hand gently resting on your cheek. His touch was such a stark contrast from what he was capable of. The same hands that were now touching you had hurt so many other people and yet with you, he was gentle, careful.

“Yeah, Logan,” you whisper, leaning into his touch. “And I’d very much like it if you could kiss me now.”

“I think you’re trouble,” he mumbles, running the pad of his thumb across your lower lip. “If I kiss you now, that makes you mine.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, Logan,” you reply, gently grazing your teeth across the tip of his thumb.

“I ain’t ever gonna let you go,” Logan admits. “There is no going back if we do this.”

“I know,” you whisper. “Whatever this is, I want it. I want you.”

Logan stares into your eyes, trying to gauge whether or not you were lying. But you never did lie to him. In fact, you were the most honest person he’s ever met. There’s a part of him that’s afraid to give into this because he knows that who he is and what he is is a danger to anyone that’s close to him.

And yet, he can’t seem to stay away from you.

“Are you sure?” Logan asks.

“I’ll always be yours, Logan,” you admit honestly. “In every lifetime and in every universe, I’m yours.”

Logan hears the sound of Althea cursing aloud, which causes his eyes to open as he looks around. It takes him a moment to realize that he’s not in the same universe anymore and there’s a sudden realization when he remembers that you were gone. In his universe, you were dead.

He pays no attention to Althea, grabbing his liquor bottle and grunting in her direction before he walks down the hallway and into his bedroom. Once the door shuts, Logan sits on the edge of his bed and lies back, staring up at the ceiling as he thinks of you. Thinks of the night he saw you last week. The sound of your voice, the sound of your laughter, the sight of your smile, the gaze in your eyes…

“In every lifetime and in every universe,” he mumbles to himself.

—

Later that night, Wade’s having his weekly family dinner again. Logan tries to make an excuse that he’s going to leave for the night, that he doesn’t want to participate or be around anyone, but Wade saw right through it.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” Wade asks, setting up the table and making sure to gather chairs around it. “I don’t even know if she’s coming,” he lies.

“Laura will be here.”

“Doesn’t mean that she will be.”

Logan rolls his eyes. “I’d rather not be here if she is.”

“You know, you’d think that seeing the woman you love alive again would get you excited. Instead, you’re running away like you usually do,” Wade says seriously. “You know what happened in your universe wasn’t–”

“Enough,” Logan interrupts. “We don’t talk about my universe anymore, got it?”

Wade raises his hands in defeat. “Fine, fine. All I’m saying… This is your second chance to be better, Peanut. Why not actually make a life for yourself here?”

“Because I don’t belong here,” Logan answers and then grabs a case of beer from the fridge along with another bottle of whiskey. “I’ll be in my room. I won’t bother you and you don’t bother me. Got it?”

“Sheesh,” Wade says. “Fine, Peanut.”

Logan grumbles under his breath and then walks into his room, shutting the door behind him and quickly opening a bottle of beer that he downs with ease.

As the hours pass, Logan tries to tune out the chatter coming from the living room. He doesn’t hear your voice amongst the amount of people in the apartment and while that should provide him some relief, it instead does the opposite. It disappoints him. He wants you nearby, wants to hear your voice, your laugh, smell your scent from miles away.

Logan wants you here.

And just as his mind drifts, he hears a knock on his door.

“Don’t bother me,” he calls out.

The knocking persists and he lets out a sigh of frustration. Logan stands from the bed and then swings the door open to see Laura standing on the other side of the door.

“What do you want?”

“For you to talk to her,” she answers, completely unbothered by his attitude. “I think you both can help each other.”

“Yeah, well that ain’t happening, kid. Now, please–” Logan’s about to shut the door when the younger woman’s hand reaches out to stop it from closing.

“I know she isn’t her and I know you aren’t him, but I also know that you both are thinking the same thing.”

“Yeah? And what’s that, kid?”

“That this can be a second chance for the both of you.”

“Ain’t no such thing as second chances,” Logan replies.

“You saved our world, Logan,” Laura says softly. “You saved her.”

Logan can feel his chest tightening. “I killed her,” he corrects. “In my universe, I–” he shakes his head, tears stinging his eyes. “Just leave me alone, kid.”

This time, Laura allows him to close the door.

—

You’re pacing in front of Wade’s front door, heart beating out of our chest in anticipation that you might see Logan again. This was the first time in the last week that you managed to get yourself out of bed, having called out from work for an entire week. You had thrown on a pair of leggings and ironically, Logan’s flannel. Your Logan’s.

With a deep breath, you knock on the door and see it swing open. Wade’s on the other side with a large grin, welcoming you inside.

“You made it,” he grins.

“I’m only here to pick up Laura,” you correct him.

“Well, you and the big guy are certainly avoiding each other,” Wade points out. “Why is that?”

“Wade,” you sigh quietly. “I’m just here to pick up Laura,” you repeat.

Wade sighs dramatically. “Fine, fine. But between you and me? This seems like a second chance that not a lot of people get.”

You don’t respond and see Laura round the corner. You smile in her direction and pull her into a hug. You can tell that her having another Logan in this universe is also taking a toll on her and you try to tell yourself, to convince yourself, that you need to be better for her.

“Ready to go?” you ask.

“Yeah, think so.”

“Great, I’m just gonna use the bathroom and then we’ll head out.”

You release her and walk down the hallway to the bathroom. You shut the door behind you and sigh, resting your hands on the edge of the sink as you feel tears threaten to spill over. You know he’s here, know that he’s somewhere close because you can feel his presence.

Logan had been on high alert the moment you entered the apartment building. His heart rate picks up when he can smell your scent waft through his senses followed by your voice. It isn’t until he hears you enter the bathroom and begin crying that he feels a twist in the pit of his stomach.

He probably shouldn’t be focusing his hearing on you, especially since it seems like just being here was causing you so much pain, but he couldn’t help himself. This was the closest he can get to you while keeping you at a distance.

—

After a few minutes, you wipe your eyes and make yourself presentable. You know if Laura sees you crying, she’s going to want to do everything in her power to make you feel better and you don’t want to burden her with your feelings.

With a deep breath, you step out of the bathroom with your eyes gazed downwards. Suddenly, you bump into someone’s hardened chest and your hands immediately reach out. There’s a sense of familiarity with your touch and when you slowly look up, you see Logan gazing down at you.

“Logan, I–”

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to move away. He just keeps his eyes locked on yours. Logan keeps his hands at his sides, his fingertips itching to touch you, to feel you.

You drop your hands back to your side and bite your lower lip in embarrassment. You’re both standing in the hallway, away from the sounds of chatter and laughter.

“I’m sorry,” you finally say. “I should have watched where I was going.”

Logan just nods, but instead, he takes an inch step towards you. It causes you to take a step back until your back gently touches the wall. He’s crowding your space, gazing into your eyes. Logan knows that he should run, knows that he should keep himself far from you, but he can’t.

Your souls are tied to each other, bonded in every lifetime. Even if he tried to forget about you, tried to keep himself at arm’s length, Logan knows that it would only hurt you (and him) more.

Logan’s eyes glisten with unshed tears as he stares into your eyes and just like the version of you in his universe, you’re looking at him like he’s enough, like all you can see is the good in him. And it makes his heart swell, reminds him of the moment he locked eyes with you in his universe for the first time.

And maybe Wade was right. Maybe this is his second chance at making things right.

Slowly, his hand comes up to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. Logan feels an electric pull towards you at the soft touch and he knows you felt it too.

Quietly, Logan whispers, “In every universe and in every lifetime, I’m yours.”

You feel your breath catch in your throat, remembering the dream you had earlier this morning and those same words you told your Logan when you told him you loved him for the first time.

Maybe Wade had a point. Maybe this is your second chance.

575 notes · View notes

marielle555 · 1 month ago

Text

“Creative” anti-AA and what their moral superiority complex is based on.

Another post from those who hate and insult Astarion, yet call themselves his “fans”:

Of course, one can ignore such “creativity”, for someone like the creator of this post would have to say something smart to really surprise the public. Perhaps the attempts at insults born in the depths of the aphedron are necessary in order to present their favorite “path of redemption” with “I can fix him” (translation: “I can be on top, own a pretty boy”, for the encounter with a strong contradictory personality in some people causes a desire to bring this personality at least to their level, or better lower, to satisfy their instincts in a similar way). To take away Astarion's chance to live a full life, oh, he never had a chance not to feel hunger before, to enjoy the sun, so he'll get by, he doesn't need it, or you'll “make” him so bad… Now we'll “prove” how bad you'll “make” him…. To take away a person's chance to be spared from suffering for the sake of your own “moral”/immoral, but well covered by what is presented as “morality”, desires - well, doesn't this picture show who is the “freak” here?

I've long wanted to share my thoughts on the moral superiority complex of anti-AAs (I think you've noticed the presence of this complex, and this picture is a good illustration of how valuable the morality of an opponent is, with whom, if you want to talk on the same level, you might have to get down on the floor).

And it is hard not to notice the obvious features of predatory behavior of this “part of the fandom” after a long stay in the fandom, at that, if attempts of pressure from their side fail, then they often start “playing the victim” including to make the opponent look like an aggressor. Maybe someone is really angry at some person from their own past and “saw an enemy” in AA, which has nothing to do with it and nothing to do with them. Maybe you've come across “AA is my personal enemy” style expressions, lol, doesn't it seem to anyone that “waging war” with game characters is already something outside the realm of game analytics? With this logic, if I've ever met a womanizer in my life, then because of that I should go to Halsin fans and harass them about how bad Halsin is and that it's better not to get involved with him IRL. And generally, Larian needs to rewrite him so that he cheats on the player right in front of their eyes so that everyone gets the “message”. And that the player should have no roleplay in the process (or else suddenly someone will like it and want to join in and have fun themselves), and Tav should make sure to make an unhappy face and burst into tears.

It also seems to me that some of those actively defending their “message” about the “cycle of abuse” are themselves latent abusers. If you read up on emotional abuse (as I was once advised, applying this to AA), you can find definitely quite a lot of similarities and overlap - verbal humiliation (they apply it to opponents as well as justifying Tav's offensive behavior towards Astarion), guilt manipulation (by the way, the “victim” image works well for this), devaluation - this is often applied to other players, and also constant devaluation of Astarion's suffering and feelings in the UA route. Hyperbolizing their own importance - tantrums over being called a “pet” (the word “pet” in British English can be used as an obsolete expression meaning “dear” or “sweetie”), and kneeling scene. Also as a reaction to a negative evaluation of Tav's behavior (Tav is actually a character too, but some people seem to like those variants of roleplay that can be negatively evaluated). The emotional abuser shows disrespect for their partner's actions and decisions, so the belief that Astarion is a silly little elf who is “just scared” and needs to be “mentored” is very suitable. Double standards (the victim is not allowed to do behaviors that are acceptable to the abuser. The abuser can express displeasure and resentment - the victim can't). In fandom: hating AA is “opinion”, even “polite analysis”, criticizing and disliking UA's route (exactly criticizing the route itself and what happens to Astarion in the game, not Astarion himself, though they actively try to gaslight that supposedly AA fans call UA “pathetic” and try to present other people's dislike of the Redemption Arc as disliking UA's character) - causes butthurt. Gaslighting “how good it is for Astarion to give up the ritual - it's a good path” - right, well done, explaining and debunking their myths about AA - “romanticizing abuse”. Physical violence - kicking Astarion, kneeling him in the evil ending, killing him in the evil DU ending - what kind of person can take pleasure in having such “opportunities” in a game?

I'd also like to add that my aversion to such labels on pictures has nothing to do with “choosing side” or the AA vs. UA controversy. And I use the AA or UA abbreviation simply for convenience, so that I don't have to write “Astarion who wasn't allowed to Ascend” or “Astarion who was able to Ascend” every time. I love Astarion either way, regardless of what happened to him in the course of the plot. And it's not uncommon to see abominations with an unascended Astarion called "art" by this same “fandom” that are far worse and cause far more anger than what these weird captions in the picture. The fact that Astarion was added sexual trauma, yes, it's a tough but strong plot decision, and many people saw their own traumas in his story, but unfortunately it's also a factor that attracts predators and abusers to his character.

#astarion #ascended astarion #bg3 #astarion ancunin #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 astarion #baldur's gate 3 #astarion bg3 #baldurs gate astarion #lord astarion

152 notes · View notes

mirai-lunar · 2 months ago

Text

- Variant Sickness -

Invincible Variants x Fem Reader! Sick scenarios with some other random thoughts sprinkled in.

Includes: Sinister Mark, Omni Mark, Mohawk Mark, Veil Mark (Shiesty Mark), No Goggles Mark, Viltrum Mark

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: Dark Themes, Violence, Yandere Behavior

Sinister Mark

-He’s unhinged, but does care in his own way.

-He would prefer it if you at least enjoyed some of your time with him. Doesn’t have to be all the time though.

-Will always carry you normally. Typical hand on back and under legs whenever he picks you up. Won’t carry you any other way so don’t ask.

-Ironically, he does not like when you cry. For any reason.

-If someone was the cause of your tears then they’re dead.

-But if he was the reason you’re crying then he’ll feel a pang of… something.

-“Stop crying. I didn’t know you were so sensitive.”

-This roughly translates to: “Calm down. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

-He’d wipe your tears away with his gloved thumb. And once you calmed, he’ll go back to his normal behavior.

-Which is inconsistent. Some days he’s cold and distant. Other days he wants your attention solely on him.

-He believes he deserves it. After all, you’re his.

-Won’t admit when he’s wrong. Ever.

-If you end up sick, you won’t get any special treatment from him. He expects you to be able to take care of yourself.

-If you end up really sick, like bedridden, he just gets...quiet. And looks at you with a frown. You have no idea what’s going through that head of his.

-You’ll have to tell him to take you to a hospital to get help, and he will. He can’t help you, so someone else should. It’s the one time he’s sensible.

-Well, kinda.

-He’s not above threatening anyone that tries to touch you, including the doctors that are trying to help.

-You quickly learn that maybe it’s better to not visit hospitals. That looming presence of his puts everyone, including yourself, on edge.

-Once you’re better, things are back to normal.

-He’s an okay conversationalist. It depends on his mood. Talks with him are usually brief and straight to the point. If you ever ask him why he kidnapped you, he’d have a cold smile before responding.

-“Why? Because I love you.”

-That makes you frown. You are unsure of his definition of love.

Omni Mark

-Typical hand on back and under legs carry. He’s very gentle whenever he picks you up.

-He hates when you cry. It bothers him a lot.

-The last thing he wants to do is upset you. If he’s the cause of your tears then he’ll frown before apologizing. If not, then he’ll comfort you.

-He doesn’t demand your attention, but he does enjoy it when your attention is solely on him.

-He’s a good conversationalist. You can talk to him about anything and he has some type of input.

-Can be terrifying at times though. You’ve seen him fight before, and he’s ruthless. That keeps you up at night.

-How someone can be so uncaring towards others, but gentle to you is mind boggling.

-If you question him about this, he’ll respond simply.

-“Don’t worry about that. Just know that I love you.”

-How comforting.

-He speaks his mind, but will refrain from telling you everything he thinks. He likes when you see him in a positive light.

-He’ll admit when he’s wrong, but what he says normally has a reason behind it. So it’s difficult to even determine when he’s ‘wrong’.

-Whenever you fall asleep at a table or on the floor at night, you’ll wake up in your bed in the morning.

-If you end up sick, you’ll have to assure him that you’re fine. And he’ll take your word for it.

-Will still keep a close eye on you though.

-“You’re not eating.”

-You looked up from your food when you heard his comment.

-“Oh. Well I forgot to mention I can’t smell anything. Or taste anything.” You mixed the soup with your spoon. “I think that has something to do with the cold. I should be fine though-”

-“If you don’t eat, I’m taking you to get some help.”

-You quickly finished your food.

-You'll also get special treatment from him while sick. Lots of check ins, and soft kisses.

-You try to push away from him so he won’t get sick, but he seems unbothered.

-“I doubt I can catch anything you have.”

Mohawk Mark

-Carries you normally, but you’ll be thrown over his shoulder a lot when he’s in a rush.

-No warning on his part either. You could be in the middle of something important and he just grabs you.

-Loves when you compliment him. But why are you complimenting him anyway? His ego is big enough.

-If you end up sick, he’ll be kinda rude about it.

-“Could you sneeze somewhere else? I don’t want whatever the fuck you have.”

-You’d frown before responding.

-“Can you even catch what I have?”

-He isn’t risking it. It’s the one time he wouldn’t kiss you. You could have a simple cold but he’ll treat you like you have the plague.

-If you end up even worse, fever sky-high, he’d panic.

-Shit Shit Shit!

-Best doctors he can find, along with a little threat sprinkled in.

-“If she dies, I’m killing every single one of you.”

-You get better. And scold him afterwards.

-“Stop threatening people Mark, those doctors were just doing their job.”

-“Just making sure you were a priority. Also a thanks would be nice.”

-Always speaks his mind. Always.

-He’s a pretty good conversationalist. He actually has some sense in that head of his once you filter out all the crazy.

-He demands your attention a lot. However if you call him out on that, he’ll deny it.

-Don’t pressure him into admitting anything. You’re usually met with a snide remark or an eye roll if you do.

-He won’t ever admit that he’s wrong.

-Also you have no privacy.

-“Hey, where’d you put my- Stop screaming it's just me. Where’s my suit?”

-”Mark! Bathrooms are locked for a reason! Get! Out!!”

-He says that it’s all about him. But he does value your opinion.

Veil Mark (Shiesty Mark)

-Loves your smile. When you smile, he smiles. Though you can’t really tell when he’s smiling-

-How he carries you depends on your mood. It’s usually the typical carry, but if you’re lazy he’ll offer a piggyback ride.

-If you can’t reach something, for example something high on the top shelf, he’ll grab it for you. But sometimes he’ll just lift you up and you can grab it yourself.

-He’s a great conversationalist. Loves to talk, so you can ask him about anything. If you’re friendly with him, then a lot of playful banter would ensue.

-“Would you still love me if I was a worm?” You jokingly ask him. He’d laugh before responding.

-“Fuck no.”

-Always speaks his mind.

-If you end up sick and you brush it off as nothing, then he won’t worry about it. He’d still help you out though.

-But he wouldn’t kiss you.

-“No offense but I don’t want anything you’ve got.” He’d tell you. You’d either frown or agree with him.

-Now if you’re really sick? He’s concerned.

-“Oh fuck, you’re not looking too good. You okay?” He asked you.

-“Yeah…just feeling under the weather. I need to sleep it off.”

-“You slept all yesterday too. Let’s at least get you checked out.”

-You get special treatment from him when you’re sick. Though he’s probably not the best at it.

-“Thanks for the soup,” you told him. As you put the spoon in your mouth your face went blank.

-“Is there something wrong?” He asked. You smiled.

-“The middle is ice cold.”

-Whoops.

-Well he’s trying, so you can’t be mad at him.

-Once you’re better it’s back to the usual routine.

-He’ll admit when he’s wrong. It’s not a big deal for him at all.

-Loves when your attention is on him. It’s a huge ego boost. If you ignore him though then that’ll leave him upset.

-All he wants is just some of your attention, is that too much to ask?

No Goggles Mark

-Carries you normally when flying, but is open to trying new things.

-Occasional piggyback carry when he’s not flying, and you can even sit on his shoulders if you want.

-Loves when you laugh. It’s his favorite thing about you. If you rarely laugh then he’ll try to make you laugh more often.

-If you refuse to laugh though, that’ll leave him sad.

-“Awww, you never laugh. Am I really that bad a boyfriend?”

-“You kidnapped me….?!” You reminded him.

-He knows. He just thought you’d be happier by now.

-He loves to talk, so he's the best conversationalist. Always speaks his mind, and talks to you about everything.

-Though you may not be able to get a word in edgewise before he decides to do something.

-He desperately wants your attention. You’re his favorite person after all. If you ignore him too much, then he’ll act out.

-He’ll probably fly faster so you’re forced to grip his neck tightly. Or he’ll do something heinous so your attention is solely on him.

-So give him attention to prevent these things.

-If you end up sick then he’s concerned for you. Special treatment? Yes. Lots of kisses and lovey-dovey stuff like that. He doesn’t care if you're contagious.

-If you’re really sick…then he panics.

-If you’re in his world, then he’ll probably ask his dad for help. If you're in your world, then that’s a guaranteed visit to the emergency room.

-Speaking of his father, Omni-Man doesn’t really like you.

-“Mark. You should have picked someone more…compliant. She’s a distraction.”

-“I think she’s great! You just don’t know her well enough yet Dad!”

-Anyway, he’ll admit when he’s wrong. He knows he’s not always right.

-Also quick to apologize too. He doesn’t like when you hold grudges against him. He loves you too much.

Viltrum Mark

-Carries you normally. Hand on back and under legs. It’s effective, so why change it?

-However, if you ask him to carry you another way then he might consider it.

-He loves when your attention is on him. Whenever he has your undivided attention, it always leads to other things. Whether it be some honest conversations or just some passionate romance.

-He’s a good conversationalist with you specifically. Normally he doesn’t talk a lot, but that never stops him from speaking his mind. He will always speak his mind.

-He’s just more action-oriented. Prefers to hold you against him and kiss you more often than he says he loves you.

-It’ll be difficult for him to admit when he’s wrong, because he's pretty adamant.

-But if you bring up some good points in an argument that even he can’t overlook, then he’ll consider your words.

-Any sign of sickness from you, I mean just a cough, and it’s off to visit the doctors.

-Especially if he took you to his world. Viltrum has amazing healthcare, and he’s not risking you getting sicker.

-If it’s on your world then you’ll still have a hospital visit, along with a remark from him about how incompetent the doctors are here.

-“I think you just scared them,” you told him. You vividly remembered how he floated slightly off of the ground before leaning in to speak to one of the doctors face to face. That specific doctor left the room with pure terror in their eyes. “You can be pretty intimidating.”

-You rarely end up bedridden, because he normally notices the symptoms right at the beginning. But on the rare occasion that you’re really sick, then he’ll be worried.

-He’ll do a good job at hiding that fact though. You could feel like you're dying and he’d have the most calm expression before speaking to you.

-“You’ll be alright. Just trust me.”

-That’s pretty comforting to hear.

-Once you’re better, you’re under a lot more scrutiny from him. He needs to make sure that never happens again. After all, he loves you.

I wrote this while sick. Hm, wonder where I got my inspiration from…

247 notes · View notes

gatorbites-imagines · 4 months ago

Note

Hey Gator, it’s the anon who wasn’t doing great a few days ago. Something really scary happened on Wednesday but I’m doing a lot better, took a few days to relax, I’m catching up on some stuff. I just wanted to tell you that I’m doing better, so your advice does help!! Also if you could give some HCs for Viltrumite mark, I don’t really mind which one, I’d love it!!

Viltrumite Mark Grayson x male reader

Headcanons

Hi anon, im sorry something bad happened, but happy you are doing better now. Have some viltrumite Mark headcanons, sorry it took a bit.

I like to imagine that viltrumite Mark is one of the older Marks amongst the variants. Him, alongside Prisoner Mark and Flaxan Mark.

Being one of the older Marks also means hes one of the strongest, but also most levelheaded when it comes to battle and viltrumite work in general.

I have a headcanon, that he was born on earth, lived there for a bit, but gained his powers early, but not so early that he was completely brainwashed, like Moustache Mark.

Viltrumite Mark would still have memories of his mom, of being a normal human, but he has lived much longer under the viltrumite empire.

At the time he was so weak he could do nothing but submit and go along with it, and now hes older, but so numb to it all, that he doesnt go against the status quo.

This also means he speaks in a very flat tone and has a bland expression for the most part. Noticing his feelings can be a challenge at times, as hes so used to hiding them, and just not feeling things.

You notice through small stuff. Like the small twitches in his brow, pull at his lips, or when he crosses his arms and fiddles with his fingers. Its almost impossible in the beginning, but you learn, and he opens up with time.

Being one of the older Marks also means that his vilrumite biology is more visible, and stronger. The human DNA is overwritten completely over time, and so his body starts changing.

This means he runs hotter, has a longer and smooth tongue without tastebuds, doesn't have fingerprints, heals quicker, and he's the smallest physically,,, down there.

This isn't actually because he's the smallest, it's just that viltrumite biology wants to draw his vulnerable parts back into his body, and he hasn't fully reached the point where it's completely sealed inside his body just yet.

Having lived so long under a horrible leader, forced to do so many bad things, Viltrumite Mark would search out comfort and safety, without truly realizing.

He wouldn't express it much, but Mark finds comfort in submitting to his partner. It doesn't even have to be anything sensual, just him pledging himself to them gives him a sense of purpose.

Maybe it's a result of many many years of being more a tool than a person, of always having to mind his status as a halfbreed and where he stood compared to his superiors.

Here he didn't have a choice if he wanted to bend his knee to them, but with you, he gets the choice. You loving him and treating him kindly also helps, because this is the first time he has given himself to somebody, and it hasn't hurt.

Is it horrible that I think he has at least one or two children in his original universe? Specifically with Anissa.

It would have been her way of showing him that she was superior, and that he was just a tool for the empire and for true viltrumites like her.

In the end, Mark would have killed both her and the children when he became strong enough, this would be one of the few killings he took great joy in committing, drawing out Anissa's death for as long as possible.

This would cause the quiet Mark variant to be cautious when you first started showing him affection, even if he arches towards it like a sunflower towards the sun.

It feels like it's too good to be true, so he would be mistrusting in the beginning, keeping his distance and maybe even striking out like an abused cat.

Until he realizes that he actually feels comfortable and safe with you, that he can be himself, and be allowed to exist as Mark, not whatever title the viltrumite empire gave him.

You allow him to be human again, after he's almost completely forgotten how.

Hes still pretty cold and cruel at times, but never towards you.

Mark would have extremely little care for humanity though, after he's wiped out so many planets and lived so long, then humanity feels like nothing more than specs of dust int he grand scheme of things.

He would step up and help though, if you were in danger. Nobody else matters to him in that regard, but because you are from earth and like it here, then yeah, he will help when Mark absolutely has too.

#male reader #mark grayson #viltrumite mark grayson #invincible #invincible variants #mark grayson variants #mark grayson x male reader #mark grayson x reader #mark grayson imagine #mark grayson headcanon #invincible x male reader #invincible x reader #invincible imagine #invincible headcanon #viltrumite mark grayson x reader #mark grayson variants x reader #viltrumite biology #anissa mention... but she dies

391 notes · View notes

lostinlovingrevery · 4 months ago

Text

Logan Being Bossy and Domineering

Really need Logan to just take control rn.

just need to be his mindless princess while he takes care of me

Anyhoo, both fluff, and nsfw stuff (logan is a hardcore dom in this btw, beware) under the cut, enjoy!

Love me a man who can take control

I think deep down, logan can be a little bit of a control freak. He doesn't make it obvious to anyone

dont get me wrong, he's still a HUGE sweetheart, esp with you

but years of trauma has made him antsy to jump in and take care of things

because only he can do it right anyway

he can be a great leader. an even better partner.

its starts almost immediately

you're doing chores, laundry, other random tasks, he'll come in and take over for you. "Don't worry bout it bub, I got it."

He'll kiss your forehead and forcefully take over. He doesn't mind if you stay and watch. You just need to sit there and look pretty for him

If you're an independent bitch (lovingly) (like me!) this may cause you to butt heads a few times but admittedly as your relationship flourishes, you found a little relief knowing logan is willing to take on the load, take care of you, make you feel loved and not a nuisance over it?

personally, I know I can do everything, but having a partner who wants to take care of me just as I do for them? *swoon*

He won't let you do any heavy lifting. Why should you? He's the one with the metal skeleton and is freakishly strong anyhow.

When he does tell you to do something, and you tease him about being bossy, he'll smack you on the ass and tell you "Damn right"

If you do get stubborn about something, he'll get damn firm with you. he doesn't like to use that tone but dammit quit being a brat

Will manhandle you. If youre refusing to do soemthing, go somewhere. Hell throw you over his shoulder

And he wont put you down till youre where he wants to be

he'll tell you things like to get undressed and wait in bed for him

but he'll also be bringing you water or food and telling you to eat. it's not asking. he's telling you what to do.

i personally get a little pissy with authority, so if you get shitty with him about it, he will bend you over on a table and smack your ass a few times

(by the by, theres a time and a place, he'll know when to let it go.)

he'll jnow your moods quickly.

takes on the maintenance of the house/apartment/mansion. it's quite hot.

stands over you a lot, watching what you're doing. it's a little bit of being curious and wanting to be close honestly, but there's a hint of him keeping an eye on you

you may win the arguments

but he's gonna be real arrogant later in bed when he undos you perfectly, you're begging and whining and he's like "oh, look who's wanting me to take of her now?"

If you're out in public, he gets pissy about others looking and talking to you

he's not so bad that he's gonna tell old mrs.wilkins to fuck off, but if that fucking mechanic calls you sweetheart one more godddamn time....

In a bar, it's a rule that you are to be glued to his side at all times. The most leeway he gives you is if you go off with one of the others, like Jean or Ororo, to go to the bathroom/mutual friends for the other variants

Don't worry, it's not a trust issue with you. he's trust you 100 percent

its the world he doesn't trust

Honestly though, he wants you to be happy. What he really like is for you to sit there and look pretty for him. Preferably on his lap

Once youre both settled in the relationship he is definitely glued to your side

its a mixture of him being an attached puppy and secret service body guard

if you're getting shitty/bratty with him, hes not gonna raise his voice

but he is going to manhandle you

get your bent over his knee and spank you as many times as needed till youre compliant

dont worry, he'll make it up to you

but it is for your own good, sweetheart.

He demands cuddles btw

Actually, that means that he's asking. he doesn't ask

you walk by the couch he grabs your arm and pulls you onto him, your curled into his lap- unsure what happened while his arm is around your shoulder, and hand stroking your thigh as he continued watching his show

Sometimes you both are existing and he looks at you and clears his throat to get your attention

he pats his lap, beckoning you over, the ever familiar bossy look in his expression and you know you better listen

recently discovered the appeal of being a brat because you know you're not truly getting in trouble, allowing you to argue, or be moody just because

and WHEW boy that was a whirlwind for me

doing that with logan tho? You're in for a good time

he'll be smoking a cigar when you start up and that just tells him you need a lil taken care of

he (once again) gets you bent over his knee, spanking your ass till youre crying.

then he fucks you dumb. pliant and happy again, he'll go back to finishing his cigar while you're curled in his arms

with trilogy logan, he gets domineering over your safety. you and him have probably gotten into arguments over missions, you going out on your own, etc etc. it usually ends with him fucking out his frustrations on you (you work it out too tho...) "Got me acting damn stupid out there. now look at you, practically drooling as i fuck you."

old man logan. oh boy. that man is the definition of telling you to sit the fuck down. (IM SAT). You're arguing and a simple look from him has you backing down. hes too old to being dealing with your tantrum. can and will force you to suck him off just to get you to shut up (lovingly). he knows you just need his cock in your mouth to feel better. "there you go darling, just needed to suck on my cock to feel better huh?"

DOFP (70s) logan, will simply just like the power over you. he likes you compliant. he'll tie you up simply because you didn't tell him you were going out with your friends tonight. make you beg him to fuck you and when he finally does he'll be cooing and telling you "see? see how good i make you feel baby?". it's all fun and games...for the most part.

DOFP future will literally just be a soft dom. Hes ordering you around but he's being so sweet about it. its for your own good love. if you rebel a little bit though, you might see some of his 70s self come out. "Thought id' put up with your antics huh?"

Origins Logan? You'd honestly think he'd be the sweetest out of all of them. I think he could be a very aggressive dom. Go on bub, test him. See what happens. You're not gonna be able to walk straight for days. "That'll make you behave,"

worst logan, he's very pissy over it. hes telling you to knock off the tude, to let him carry the groceries, paint the walls, fix the leaky sink etc, then he's pinning you down and you're being dealt the roughest, nastiest fuck of your life. "Obviously you just needed to stuffed full of me to get you to calm down."

wolverine (2013) is a mix of everything. probs the meanest motherfucker out of them all. he genuinely loves you, wants you safe, wants to take care of you. just fucking let him. Try anything and you're gonna be sobbing as he shoves your face into the carpet, fucking you roughly and telling you "you brought it on yourself princess". He knows whats good for you, he's been around the block more than a few times. Don't push him too far- otherwise you will get tied to the bed and he won't let you go.

he can and will be a very sweet control freak though

making you breakfast, lunch, dinner

brings you cut up fruit

fills your gas tank

the sexy stuff put aside, logan genuinely wants to take care of you. he wants to ease the burdens off your shoulders.

you may wonder is it too much for him but he actually couldn't love it more. the fact that he can devote himself to you, the one he loves. is healing for him. he's spent a lot of time being lonely. let him take care of you

He does listen to you, he'll listen to your vent and your feelings. you talk things out and everything

but BOY is it sure fun to get him riled up huh? ;)

#logan howlett #wolverine #logan howlett x you #wolverine x reader #vans daydreams #logan howlett smut #wolverine smut #logan howlett x reader #wolverine x you

240 notes · View notes