#I have a PhD in shitposting

[07043012]

THEY LOST FOCUS IN THE FIGHT AGAIN!1!!

[drugsforaddicts]

Thoughts were thunk last night and...

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

[crazy-fangirl2524]

We need someone to write Alexander and Hephaestion the way Madeline Miller wrote tsoa

[vermillioncrown]

tpil snippet bc why not: both tim and korvin are wack as fuck but kon's the only one that actually points it out

===

versus everyone else dancing around the subject or not wanting to cast stones in glass houses 😬

later scene where korvin & tim are bullying simulating "what-if" scenarios w kon

“Everyone makes me out to be some—whatever. ‘Con-tin-gen-cy,’” Korvin emphasizes. “And it shouldn’t be one, because how is this not obvious?” He clicks his tongue and sighs with disgust. “Oh well, it’s our little exploit now.”

That’s what Kon means with the sideways thing—how Korvin thinks that it’s to Kon’s advantage that no one’s made him train without his powers; but really, he should be better at surviving without his powers. And, of course he’ll do Kon the favor of putting him through every convoluted iteration of a meat grinder, for Kon to reach Korvin’s expectations of performance as the man studies him like a bug and tells him indulgently, “You’re very welcome, Conner.”

“Someone who’d do this to you…expects you to be at their mercy. They’ll be complacent and pay for it”—his cool fingers are blissful against Kon’s face and jaw— “giving you one fighting chance.”

Whereas Tim will do the still-deranged but easier-to-follow thing of probably cloning Kon or science-necromancing him should he perish in an ignoble death. Neither of them need to ask, Tim has them covered—redundant DNA samples slyly collected on the reg, securely stored and hidden where he can’t be reproached for having them. And since saving him and Bart, Tim has hoarded wacky biotech equipment confiscated through their missions under the guise of “novelty” and “a hobby.”

Both Bat Boys have their own ridiculous way of showing how much they care. Kon loves them.

===

[fictional-men-enthusiast]

I’m sure we’ve all seen the “all my transmasc friends want to look like at least one of the TF2 characters” tweet, but I don’t have one AUTISTIC friend who doesn’t ACT at least a little bit like one of the TF2 mercs; this includes me, this is 100% not a diss.

[sauriansolutions]

Is there a Twisted Wonderland version of McDonald's? TwstDonald's? 🤣

Because you know certain boys would try to organize an expedition there.

I feel like this would start out with Ace casually mentioning that the cafeteria burgers are okay, but he's really craving a BigTwst (this naming convention is terrible, I love it).

Epel casually relies, huh, he's never been to TwstDonald's, what's it like? Cue Adeuce, Yuu, and Grim freaking out, and insisting that they need to go on a roadtrip immediately.

Ruggie and Jack probably join in, because they seem like the types who'd go full-in on "Mission: Let Epel Have a Goddamn Burger, For Once In His Life."

But, oh no! Vil overhears this conversation, and makes it his life's mission to sabotage this road trip at all cost!

Also Rook is there, ostensibly to help Vil "save" poor, innocent Epel from the horrors of fast food. But it's unclear whose side he's even on, because Rook operates by Rook Rules that are incomprehensible to everyone who isn't French.

Insert increasingly absurd shenanigans.

Finally, cut to Idia, who's been remotely watching this whole disaster play out while eating the TwstDonald's Super Combo he had delivered to his dorm like a sensible person.

"Heh, Ortho, come check out these absolute noobs," he giggles through a mouthful of fries.

Ortho floats over and shakes his head sadly. "I bet they don't even have the TwstDonald's app downloaded. They're missing out on so many Twisty D points..."

[bludraws094]

theres one thing that confuses me about the strange case of dr jekyll & mr hyde

and that thing is:

WHY THE FUCK DID HE EVEN DRINK THE SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE??? THAT VIOLATES SO MANY LAB SAFETY RULES

[guinevereslancelot]

not my job interview being rescheduled as i'm literally on my way there 😭

[dopepoisonivyoncrack]

Just the first 2 main chapters of the theoretical part of my thesis..... it needs to be reduced to half 💀💀💀

[piscesamo]

Loving the latest chapters of Bocchi the Rock

[chronologicalimplosion]

[[GIF ID: Bob the Tomato from VeggieTales blinks, then turns to look down at the floor, frustrated and perturbed, as the camera zooms in uncomfortably close. End ID]]

i hate the phrase 'none of these words are in the bible' because it's either true for Every word in the english language (the bible wasn't originally in english) or for None of them (i could translate the bible badly enough to contain any word at all)

[catboybiologist]

Hi! I'm Sierra. Time for a pinned post refresh.

Otherwise known as CatboyBiologist, or @hi-sierra (my SFW blog [this one is SFW too, but less so]). This page is remaining active, but if you want to find me somewhere else, I use the same username on reddit, Instagram, co-host, and tech.lgbt. This is me:

Trans woman, PhD student in molecular biology, boymoder, shitposter, freediver, hot girl on your phone, hiker, rambler (this post included), tgirl tummy tuesday supplier and enjoyer, former femboy, bane of bioessentialist fuckwads who try to use biology to validate biogotry, flaming bisexual, 196 nanocelebrity… whatever was the first thing that brought you to my blog, I hope it’s enough to get you to stay! I post selfies, hornyposts (minors and people who are averse to that be warned), stuff about the ocean, posts about my growing sense of wanderlust, my adorable lil tortoise, tutorials for transfemmes and GNC people, rambles about science, documentation of my own transition, rambles about transness, rambles about the eroticism of programming a machine to feel arousal, rambles about nature, and random shitposts. Please send me pictures of cute animals in your life!

If you wanna support my science career and my transition, consider dropping a tip here! PhD salaries are notorious for being negotiated to be exactly the cost of living…. And then forgotten about for years as inflation drops that below minimum wage. So I’m always a little strapped for cash. Anything helps!

Links to some of my tutorials and relevant resources under the cut:

I'm tracking my transition, and some people have said they found this helpful! This spreadsheet is generally updated monthly:

Usually, I write a little journal to go with it when it updates- you can find that under the #trans journal on my blog.

If you're interested in checking out some of the things I'm trying to write, here's a post with links to individual stories I'm making:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/741010247774306304/writing-consolidation-post?source=share

My femboy guide, written well before I started HRT, but still has relevant info:

A "boyboob" tutorial, aka how to make it look like you have cleavage in an outfit that looks better with it:

A quick and dirty guide to taking better selfies, with a specific emphasis on people who may have stopped hating their body recently due to transition:

And here's a few of my personal favorite little rambles and posts about my transness, in no particular order:

CW for transphobia on this one:

A massive shoutout to @foldingfittedsheets for this amazing art of the lil borgir holding a trans flag:

I adore this so much <3 if you want to support their art, her commissions are open and really sweet!!!!

And of course, a massive shoutout to @whalesharkcat for this lovely pixel art of my tortoise:

I still love this so much, and will continue to into the future <3

For preHRT selfies, search the femboy tag. For post HRT selfies, use the "trans selfie" tag. I've been on HRT since August of 2023, so I'm still very early in the process! Day to day, I present male, but I plan to change that around the 1 year mark.

I guess that's about it! One final note is that I've been alluding to video/podcast style things for a while now. With my aderrall prescription, I've actually put in a lot of research work that might lead to 1-4 of those, so that might actually happen in the near future! No promises of course, life always catches up to you.

And if you liked my previous pinned post better, here it is:

Anyways, if you read this far, thanks for sticking around and bbyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[joltai-showa]

still thinking about Obito's tendencies to hang upside down so why not talk about something even more funny

now Obito is obviously trolling the Konoha squad in that moment, acting like a complete idiot and weirdo and all, usual stuff for Tobi. Obito is being a weird little bat on purpose, it's all an act

you know who among Akatsuki, a very scary and a totally serious organization, also acted like a weird little bat, but without it all being an act?

allow me to introduce you to the final page of chapter 238

Kishimoto, why is Deidara's first appearance is him being upside down during Akatsuki's zoom meeting?

(which is supposedly the first one in 7 years since Orochimaru ditched them, but whatever, no fucking way these guys can remain semi-organized without a good old online meetup, I do not care for canon's opinion when it conflicts with my funny headcanons)

But seriously, it's been almost 10 years since I read the manga for the first time and there's still no explanation as to why Deidara did that LMAO. Logic dictates that it's simply Kishimoto not finishing up the designs for his new villains (rinnegan's design wasn't finalized until, like, Akatsuki Supression arc, I believe? there's someone TOWERING over Kisame who is 195cm already and at the end of the day remains Akatsuki's tallest member, etc etc), but I've got a PhD in overthinking Naruto details and turning them into shitposts that sometimes also turn into fanfiction, so I will take this one tiny detail and make myself laugh until I cry.

To me this moment is just so precious because it's actually a scene from OG Naruto, meaning that it's pre-timeskip, so Deidara here is only 16. And this just proves to me that Deidara's puberty (there is no exact indicator as to when Deidara was abducted recruited into Akatsuki, but I assume it happened sometime when he was 12, because during his recruitment we see Itachi (and we know that he joined Akatsuki after the massacre, so he was 13 and he's got a 2 year difference with Deidara), Kisame (who, judging by his pre-death flashbacks, joined AFTER Itachi, meaning some time had to have passed since the massacre) and Sasori (who wouldn't have a partner after Itachi joined because Orochimaru just couldn't resist trying to get that Sharingussy, but Akatsuki don't operate on their own in general, so I doubt Sasori would have been left without a partner for a long time, a year max) and during this zoom meeting 16-year-old Deidara speaks like he's very much aligned with Akatsuki's goals and grudges which would be very weird if he joined them against his will just recently, so a year or more would have to pass between Deidara's recruitment and the OG Naruto zoom meeting) was arguably one of the worst things that organization as a whole had to go through because teenage Deidara was JUST BUILT DIFFERENT.

Don't mind the fact that even as an adult he starts tweaking if he doesn't get to explode something every few hours (I would imagine that teenage rage and angst would only exacerbate this issue), but he would also just want to "look cool" and wouldn't listen to anyone in any position of authority AT ALL. Going back to this scene of Akatsuki's zoom call, we can see (and for certain characters assume because once again designs here are kind of wack) that these overly serious members like Pain, Konan, Kakuzu and Sasori are PRESENT and just... don't do anything about Deidara's antics? They just gave up at some point LMAO. And a while ago, I presume.

16-year-old Deidara, proud and puffed up as a lion: You can stay on the ground as boring old men you are, but I'm going to hang upside down today, hm!

Pain, the acting leader of this very serious and lethal organization that for some reason took in a 13-year-old and a 12-year-old because, I dunno, the real leader thought it would be funny, sighing: okay, Deidara...

I also don't believe that it was ever specified how Nagato's zoom jutsu works, but I think Akatsuki's members simply sit in whatever position they want and their projection is different from their actual position which means that. yeah. Deidara does a bat cosplay. because he wants to. baby why are you like that.

but I also like to imagine Deidara actually hanging on the ceiling during the meetup and the gang just going

Pain: Sasori, can't you grab a mop or something and swat him off of there?

Sasori, in the most dead inside voice imaginable: you are not paying me enough to do that. in fact, you would not last a minute in the asylum I'm living in. you can't give me 40 minutes of peace, can you?

honestly props to Onoki for finding a way to both continue using Deidara's skills for his goals (by just fucking paying Akatsuki and calling it a day) and keep the village intact, teenage Deidara just seems like the trial version of what Akatsuki members could expect on their missions. like, if you can't manage the stress of dealing with the (pony)tailed beast, you have no business trying to fight an actual tailed beast.

I'm also thinking that adult Deidara aka Shippuden Deidara would think himself really cringe for doing this shit when he was younger and feels kind of embarrassed in front of the other members (who unfortunately besides Hidan were there to witness his cringe bat phase of growing up in your local terrorist daycare organization), so he's pretty quiet during the zoom meetings when we get properly introduced to him.

That's, of course, until Deidara gets partnered with Tobi.

I can imagine the two of them competing who can last longer hanging upside down and now Pain really can't do anything to stop this bullshit because it's his actual boss and his clueless partner making their own bat nest during their zoom meeting. He just tiredly glances over at Konan who gives him a "I told you Yahiko was right and we shouldn't have joined forces with this guy, but when do you ever listen to me" look.

The gang would be discussing something like Kakuzu and Hidan brutally murdering Asuma (who's Obito's classmate btw and whose mother he already killed a while ago) and trying to steal his corpse to sell for some cash and in the background above them Tobi'll be yelling something like "senpai, watch what I can do" and start turning cartwheels on the ceiling.

tl;dr Obito and Deidara match each other's freak when it comes to doing weird shit for no apparent reason other than to fuck with everyone while on the job. thanks for coming to my TobiTalk

[prettyboypistol]

TF2 Mercs Reacting to You Telling Them You're Autistic || TF2 x Reader (shitpost kinda)

(dw i can write this i got the 'tism)

Scout

IMMEDIATELY regrets saying the r slur in front of you a lot.

Will beat up anyone who makes fun of you for not being social.

As soon as you start listing the symptoms of autism everything makes a lot more sense.

Is a lot more accomidating for your meltdowns.

Engineer

"lmao same, you think a neurotypical could get 11 PhDs?"

Kinda already knew you were autistic, but waited for you to tell him to actualy speak about it.

Likes listening to your hyperfxations like a podcast while he works. (if he pays full attention he can't help but kiss you until you stop talking, god, you're just so cute when you get excited!!!!)

Demoman

"tf is autism"

"oooh ok i thought you were just cooky." /pos

honestly doesn't really react or care, but he keeps it in mind when he does things that might cause an adverse reaction.

Tavish just treats you like another human, which is honestly a breath of fresh air.

Heavy

"tf is autism" pt.2

probably doesn't understand what you mean, but gets the jist of it.

likes watching you stim/hyperfocus natural geographic style

has narrated over you without you noticing.

Pyro

that mf autism incarnate

makes the most offensive jokes about being autistic that only you two would understand.

they're so happy you understand their texture aversion to anything but thier suit.

"damn, you're gay AND autistic? pick a struggle"

Soldier

"AUTISM? WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"

after getting it explained "THAT'S NOT AN ISSUE, EVERYONE ACTS LIKE THAT"

ADHD/Autism friend dynamic fr

He gets frustrated easily with aversions, but will be understanding.

Spy

"I could tell the moment you walked into the room for the first time."

can 100% read your needs when you can't verbalize.

he doesn't surprise you and likes the fact the he knows vaguely where you are at all times because of your routines.

Medic

"oh shit me too"

hyperfixates on your hyperfixations

highkey wants to study you

Sniper

Doesn't really get it, but is mindful of it, def picks up books from the library to read up on how to make someone feel more comfortable when they have autism.

understands social aversions, he completely gets it.

picky eating is the biggest vibe, snipes wouldnt care if he ate the same meal every day for the rest of his life.

[ouroborosorder]

WAIT THIS BIRD ACTUALLY DOES HAVE A PHD? I WAS SHITPOSTING I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS AN ACTUAL DOCTOR