#I have a LOT of feelings on the subject
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Okay Oz fans, quiz time...
How do you all feel about Wicked?
#the wizard of oz#wicked#I have a LOT of feelings on the subject#but I'll hold off on the essays for now#dorothy gale#the scarecrow#the tin man#the cowardly lion#elphaba thropp#glinda the good
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I'll start off by saying this is not meant to contradict OP, I just wanted to add some of my own experiences as somebody who's high-masking. Even if you do fall into the 'convienient for neurotypicals' category, they still see you as an object for their entertainment. You're some cute animal that makes adorable attempts at being human, you're not to be taken seriously as a human being.
Then, when you break, when you become inconvenient, it's okay to punish you for it because your purpose is to entertain, and if you're having a meltdown it's because you're refusing to do your job-be a little dancing monkey- and therefore there's no place for you in their society.
Op has an extremely valid point, there is a threshold for tolerance from NT society, but you only stay in it as long as you don't advocate for yourself. Autism is still so far from being destigmatized, even the TikTok variety.
I learned to mask at a very early age, and it was because every time I showed my true self, I was attacked. I never really made more than two friends, and in middle school I placed in special ed. This gave other students essentially a free pass to attack me, because the school's way of dealing with such things was telling special ed students to act less weird. At my first job I made the mistake of mentioning I was autistic. My boss took this as an opportunity to harass me,(I will make a separate post detailing my time in Kroger hell at some point) even though I performed every task correctly. I made that mistake once more at my second job , and that boss used it to take away my authority, placing even new hires above me in rank. Many others have it worse than I do, I know, but I wanted you to know you aren't alone in your experiences.
gonna swing a bat at a hornet's nest and say autism as a whole is not destigmatized, tiktok autism is
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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willingly unloved
#ethan winters#leon kennedy#lethan#resident evil#rebhfun#resident evil fanart#roomate au#hello everpony welcom back to crumb cuptoast speculating how re8 and re7 would have changed ethan as a person#hashtag trust issues hashtag paranoia#ok but everyone ethan has ever loved and put his trust into has hurt him#chris hurt him and mia hurt him twice i feel like if he survived re8 he would be way more closed off#i feel like he would also be more aggresive in arguments#in re8 when mia miranda raises her voice at ethan he apologizes and changes the subject but i feel like after constantly being kicked down#he would be a lot angier at the world#hes still sweet but if someone argues with him he will defiently be very defensive
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trying to paint after months of no painting (I have to go now they are making me go do work for class now 😔)
#yeag it's a frontiers screenshot#this is gouache but I'm painting like it's acrylics but I really wish this was oils xd#I need my oil paintssss#I've been feeling really inspired to actually paint but it's a lot of work so#this is so overworked goucher gets overworked like watercolors sometimes#i think I also have shit gouache but whatever it's the cheapest thing I could find#sorry for the two jars but the paper bent and I couldn't take a pic#Ok now I'm really going away to be subject to torture (doing assignment)
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In which Ford struggles so badly to relate to other people that he wonders if he’s really human at all. The more isolated he becomes, the harder it is to reconcile with his own humanity.
#my art#gravity falls#Stanford pines#ford pines#bill cipher#comic#eye strain#TIME TO DUMP EVERY ONE OF THE 27483949 THOUGHTS IVE HAD INTO THE TAGS BABY#OK!! SO!!!!#I feel like Ford would wonder why he and Stan (being identical twins) aren’t. yk. identical. shouldn’t Stan have polydactyly too?#as a kid he would dream about secretly being nonhuman and being whisked away to a fantastical world full of people like him#finally free of new jersey‚ finally somewhere he belongs#a lot of this disconnect from humanity came from utterly failing at social interactions while others (including stan) navigated them easily#the feeling waned after Stan was kicked out and he didn't have that direct comparison but it never left#then out in the wilderness of gravity falls‚ his isolation and immersion in Weirdness dragged it back up to the forefront#he deserves to have a breakdown over questioning his own nature. as a treat <3#color symbolism time bc I have a problem and use it at every available moment!!! blue and yellow get more vivid#the further from humanity the subject is#bill is entirely made w pure rgb blue and yellow (+ approximately 2674835 textures/layers/blending modes. I reached 150+ layers. help)#I like the idea that he would appear to ford like pure math considering hes a geometrical motherfucker and how the rest of the mindscape wa#I tried to mostly use trigonometry and related stuff for the Math Greebling. as well as fractals i love you forever fractals#MORE SYMBOLISM:#the grid-ish diamond pattern in all of the mindscape bgs (and elsewhere) is a penrose diagram of spacetime#which shows other universes on the other sides of black holes#SOMEONE ASK ME ABOUT MY EUCLYDIA HEADCANON LATER. IVE DUMPED ENOUGH DUMB HCS IN THESE TAGS ALREADY#BUT I THINK ITS VERY FUN#anyways. fuckt up guys n their egos influencing how they view humanity. bill tells ford hes as human as they come bc he was so easily foole#ford cant reconcile with his humanity bc of a failure to perform in one area#and then the immense guilt and shame over what hes done <3#I have So many ford characterization thoughts. no man nor god can stop me
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itll be alright
#it actually wont#💔#but hes just a baby. and she is his everything#the 3rd ep hurt me.....#but also thinking about how during the earlier times on the ark when he was much much younger#maria would be the only solace he would have#between the scientists treating him like a test and subjecting him to painful experiments just because he cant die#and the scorn of anyone else#the only place he can find warmth and love is in her light#shadow confused and lost not knowing his purpose well yet as hes forced to face all of it. like a scared animal#i know gerald would be decent to him but its never going to be more than firm kindness that wont ever take priority over his responsibility#they gave him his rings but in the early days they probably wouldnt be bothered to dress him and just let him go from the lab as is#hes doing it all for her but hes just small#god#im feeling a lot#shadow the hedgehog#maria robotnik#my art#shadria#not romantic in this case. just his most important person. taisetsuna hito. etc. they need to make a tag for them pls
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I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :
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(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )
#tumblr polls#hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today#still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual#They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully#it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec#fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since#I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm#ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos#or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things#I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming#over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY#I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb#e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about#different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see#stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I#can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud..#but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone#said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects#the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm
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Thinking about the song "Ship in Port" by Radical Face and clones
Thinking about the line "Farewell to the chains we were born into" and what that can mean for the clones
Thinking about how "But I have always stayed in place/Under that old illusion that it's safe" could equally describe Hunter, Echo, and (s1+2) Crosshair's complete opposite approaches to the Empire and post-war life.
The way Crosshair clings to his identity as a soldier of the Empire
And Echo as a soldier of the Republic
But Hunter puts his identity as a soldier behind him
Crosshair fights for the Empire to gain purpose
Echo fights against the Empire to save his brothers
And Hunter decides the Empire is too strong to even try to oppose
"A ship in port is a safer one"
"but it's not the reason it was made"
"So forgive me if I wander off"
"And forgive me more if I just stay"
Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had more fully explored the differences between those ideologies
(Thinking about what The Bad Batch could have been if it had dedicated more screen time to the 'reg' clones within the Empire and the underground network's fight to free them , instead of just sidelining Echo and Rex for a hypothetical clone rebellion show we might never get)
#i have lots of thoughts and many draft posts in which i've been struggling to figure out how to word those thoughts#tbb had SO much potential#it was so close!#it really could have been on par with Andor if it has just tried#i feel like i'm projecting these themes that aren't really there#the pieces are there the show just didn't focus on them#i considered saying hunter 'hides from the empire to protect his family' but that never included crosshair just omega#so that felt like giving him too much credit#ignore the music video i just really love the acoustic version bc MMM that viol!#the rest of the lyrics totally fit for clones of this era too btw#like SO WELL ugh#if i had the time resources and attention span I'd make a music video#maybe someday...#(lol i have waay too many projects stuck in my brain and also the new semester started and i'm already so behind rip)#while we're on the subject of radical face and clones#“always gold” is THE perfect heartbreaking Kix song!#tbb#tbb analysis#sw tcw#tbb echo#tbb hunter#tbb crosshair#arc trooper echo#the clones#radical face#bardic musings#sorry i didn't credit the gifs#this has been in my drafts since long before i knew people care about that and i can't find where i found them from#just know the shitty ones are the ones i made lol
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House of the dragon intro being a tapestry, the use of fiber arts to tell a story and preserve history, the way its stylized to look like medieval tapestries that actually exist, to tell a story that is long ago history to the song of ice and fire series, thus framing it as more historical in the context of this fantasy realm, also using a traditionally historically feminine craft as the title sequence for a story that centers on a conflict largely between two women
Whoever animated this title sequence I am kissing you with tongue
#fiber arts! we stan fiber arts!#i actually saw the bayeux tapestry in person with my own eyeballs and it altered my brain chemistry and i get emotional thinking about it#idk if the bayeux tapestry was the direct influence of the title sequence but thats was it reminded me of#i have a lot of feelings about this particular subject#house of the dragon
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#its not my fave fave color but i love love love slate blue....#i enjoy many blues mostly leaning toward green than purple...i dont enjoy purple#i think this blue fits talon but i dont want him to be So Me so he likes the more purple blues mainly#(in my doodle pages slate blue is usually just grey but the bg color makes it look more blue)#i still love how it looks as a grey blue#a doodley#i think he'd like it darker of course but making it darker on this page just makes it more evident that its just grey LOL looks less blue#''is dressed'' because al and smunker have to sort of build his wardrobe for him#as well as actually physically dress him a lot of the time due to the health issues#thje exception to it all is he really does love wearing big t shirt and nothing else (at home)#in all forms (furry or not)#BECAUSE it makes him feel cold but in that tingly way where u can curl up in bed and wiggle around to get warm.#do u understand me. i love doing this like when its cool in my room at night + remove an article of clothing#so that it feels MORE cool and I get to really appreciate warming up under the covers#anyway all subject to change of course. lots of talon details still elude me i cant fully crack him at all
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Finally watched the “FORD IS A BAD PERSON!” video. Commentary on it ft my friend. It took me three weeks to mentally prepare myself to watch this lol.
#gravity falls#stanford pines#stanley pines#the book of bill#bill cipher#i feel like a stroke victim#how can you misunderstand something so badly#ALSO the obsession some people have on titling someone a bad person#it’s ridiculous#imo most people aren’t bad people#even if they do bad things or make mistakes#also sm giving bad faith in so many of fords actions#or blame#a lot of what happened w stan and ford you can’t blame on ONE#they both made mistakes#i do think ford has good morals#which again is subjective#but bill offered him all this stuff and refused#because ultimately he wanted to do what was right#he just only realized what was right was not what he was doing til later#anyway#its just me ford with our autism and trauma against the world
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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)
#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell#and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling#Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy#he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore#fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors#so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested#as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments#and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group#separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader#and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him#but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line#like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security#one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again#“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying#education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy#Trigun Uni! AU#because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood#vash#Nai saverem#millions knives#lenssi draws#pen!
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Another year, another outfit to die in! Happy birthday again Izuna!!!!!!
Like last year, I played with someone else's lines for these charming patterns, thank you so much Lena @elhnrt ! I had a ton of fun :D
Check the readmore for pattern references and explanations, there are some easter eggs in there :)
(x,x,x,x)
My goal for this piece, in addition to playing with patterns and textures and adding some Naruto references, was to add as many death flags as possible.
The idea of having Izuna in a fireman's coat is obviously not from me. I've always like the idea of Uchihas in fire resistant clothes, and the opportunity for a thick texture alongside a reversible double pattern is very appealing. I used the image of the second reference as a base, with skulls on one side and stylized lightning patterns on the other (visible inside the sleeves and collar). Both were common immagery of firemen coats.
The actual skull pattern is taken from the third reference. I'd seen this one before and before even learning anything abt it it was too beautiful to pass up. Those white and navy gradients are absolutely delightful and I enjoyed using my gel pens for them very much.... This particular type of imagery with skulls and bones in a field is called Nozarashi, inspired by Buddhist representation of death and transience.
The lightning pattern itself is a reference to water and lightning dragons :) Like Tobirama's iconic jutsu, it's one of the hints of what's abt to happen to our little guy. The scabbard is also decorated with dragon motifs for the same reason.
The background pattern is taken from the first reference, another fireman's coat with an illustration of Raijin, the thunder god. He is often representated with drums decorated with tomoes. It works nicely as a standard looking sharingan illustration, with a reference to Tobirama's hiraishingiris with the thunder imagery, like the thunder patterns inside the coat.
If you're interested in this I recommend the book linked in the second reference! It is entirely about skeleton motifs in japanese clothing of the early 20th century.
#mine#mixed#wip#naruto#uchiha izuna#been looking at some many fun patters I really went all in for this one#I love borrowing people's lines bc I do not care much abt anatomy or even drawing clothes tbh but patterns and textures....#it's like I'm dressing up a little doll :)#you can tell I was feeling myself seriousposting bc I capizalized the names...#anyway this was a lot of fun and of course actually quite unserious#for exemple you'll notice all these are either from late 19th/early20th c. despite the warring states era being obviously sengoku coded#later designs were easier for me to find references from and information on since I do not know much abt the subject#I allowed myself these liberties bc the timeline (wether aesthetic or narrative) in naruto is hardly strict#also it's usually the senjus who are associated with Buddhism and the uchiha are more shinto leaning but well.#you can tell yourself this is a sign of early konoha corruption on our guy Izuna#if you have any more questions abt this feel free to ask! this was a surprise again so i haven't posted any wips#but i do have some pictures of the process and I always love to chat
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