#I have 100% aged myself with these anime picks but these were also the shows I was watching when I was a wee kid getting into loz
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hi queer friends in my phone i hope u have all been having an ok month so far đ im sorry i havent been online very much lately, its like 80% just me being forgetful except to hop on my phone app for like ten mins to browse my dash and reblog something and get distracted by another non phone related activity LOL. my bestie Eli is here still until the rest of the month and we finished our rewatch (their first watch, my like......who even knows the specific numbered rewatch) of Avatar The Last Airbender a couple days ago and that was very fun and exciting, it was wild getting to those last few episodes in the final season and just totally getting brought back to being a kid in my head when the show was actively airing on tv and i was sitting in my bedroom exploding from sheer special interest excitement watching the story wrap up on the super small box tv i used to have like 15+ years ago đ𫡠we haven't started watching Legend Of Korra yet since we just finished ATLA and need to like. take a lil Avatar media break before jumping into another entire finished series fhdhdhsfsshhgd but excited for whenever we start that too!! Eli showed me a fav movie of theirs the other night called Thoroughbreds and i REALLY liked it, fellow toxic yuri enjoyers i truly cannot recommend that one enough those girls have Problems In Abundance and i love that for them and also me.
OH OH OH ALSO on my birthday after we got home from out of house activities we watched that Nic Cage movie 'Dream Scenario' that i've wanted to see so bad since the first trailer for it dropped online a while back, and i am truly not just being dramatic when i say i think that is my favorite movie i've seen this year and it will be Difficult for another movie to win over that 2024 Fav Spot in my mind, it was exactly what i wanted it to be and MUCH MORE LMAOO IT WAS SO GODDAMN FUNNY. very specifically Me And Eli's Kinda Stupid Sense Of Humor throughout the whole run time we were fuckin losing it at every other scene. that was a wonderful lil birthday treat.
also the antique mall we were gonna go to ended up being closed on the day of my birthday so we went to a big mall off-Cape that i like instead and have been to a few other times for past birthdays cus they actually have a bunch of different types of stores with stuff i actually enjoy unlike the more local mall we have here that is 100% dying a slow agonizing Mall Death lmao. went to Build-A-Bear and they had that one bear style in stock that literally just looks like a femme lesbian with the lesbian flag colors and perfect lil eyeliner so i made a Chappell Roan inspired pop star outfit wearing lesbian colored bear (saw someone else online do that a lil while back with the same style i chose so i couldn't resist doing it myself when i saw it was at the store hfsfgsvsgshshdg) and the ppl working there that day were all super chill and friendly and most likely around me and Eli's age or maybe a few yrs younger than us, the person who helped me make my bear specifically was really friendly and fun to talk with cus while we were in there it was pretty much just us and the employees for the majority of the time, he like immediately picked up on me being A Very Obvious Femme Lesbian on account of The Femme Lesbian Bear and also The Very Over The Top Femme Alt Outfit I Was Wearing and we chatted abt being gay and trans while he was stuffing the bear it was such a genuinely sweet and wonderful interaction, he was also autistic and we got to briefly bond over Build-A-Bear being mutual life long autistic special interests of ours and he seemed rly happy to hear that i was turning 27 that day and was still actively wanting to spend birthdays making custom stuffed animals there it was just really great all around đđ also before the mall closed later on we did a quick stop at the FYE store that was there (i always get very excited when i see a still active FYE store anywhere cus it was a childhood fav place of mine to shop but our local mall closed ours when i was a teenager lol) and there was a small stand set up with some ATLA merch and i got a fully functional Momo backpack/crossbody style bag that i am so incredibly psyched about having fjdgedfdhsshfg it is very cute. and anyone who knows me knows i love adding a silly lil functional novelty bag to my collection of silly lil novelty bags. so it will be getting much use from me out in the world
anyways!!! thats pretty much what i've been up to, just figured i would hop on and write a mariska life update so everyone here knows i didnt just like. drop off the face of the earth lol
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As a Childrenâs Story for Children: Wolfwalkers
Age I was told midge should be: 7ish
Quick review: Not unenjoyable, but ultimately a bit more bland and Irish Ferngully than I was wanting and looking for. I think I expected too much of it, honestly. Not bad, though! Loved the art style.
Longer review:
I had such a hard time watching this as a seven year old because, I donât use my phone when I watch things, which I do recommend because you notice things and gravitate toward, I think, better things, but unfortunately I have just enough grasp of the history of the area to sit there the entire time and go, âLord Protector? Wait is this guy supposed to actually be Oliver fucking Cromwell? Did they use Lord Protector otherwise? Cromwell was a complete dick to everyone who had exactly one good idea (and it was a great one)Â so I would be unsurprised. Is the year right? I feel like it is but now I donât trust myself.â But not enough grasp of the history to actually resolve that in my mind up until the end when he was being weird and religious while dangling off a cliff and I was like, âYeah, Iâm almost sure thatâs supposed to be Oliver Cromwellâ*
Love the animation on this one! I would like to broadly see more diversity in styles of animation, and thatâs not me particularly hating on other styles (though I do hate the bean mouth big eye rounded thing thatâs so fucking popular now, even if I love the show itself) but it feels like you have three choices right now. But this I REALLY liked, and I loved how in some parts you coil.d even see the sketches underlaying the finished character.Â
The story is not bad! But itâs VERY common. I mean, this has a different skin on it, and this is not me saying Cromwellâs time in Ireland wasnât a garbage shitshow nightmare, but this is a very common kidsâ story. I used Ferngully, but you see the motif of âperson is part of the oppressor and learns to identify with the oppressedâ come up over and over again. This is not to say that it is BAD. I am not saying that. But I am saying that Wolfwalkers did not, story wise, blow my mind and break new ground. Pretty much all of it hit the exact story beats I was expecting.Â
One thing I did GENUINELY like, was showing that Robyn and her father are also victims of an absoltuely fucking insane government. And that her father could be a dick genuinely because he loves Robyn, and is afraid for her. I loved that it could make her father INTENSELY frustrating while refusing to coindemn him, and I think that is, storywise, its real master stroke. It walks that line REALLY beautifully.Â
I laughed at her name literally being Robyn Goodfellow, I know as a kid I would not pick up on that but an amazing touch, especially since we know thereâs no way in hell sheâs not going to Learn A Vaulable Lesson about the value of the forests and the wolves and all that.Â
Interesting to watch it and know that the wolves are going to be wiped out in less than 100 years, too, Iâm fairly certain. So in Robyn and Mebhâs lifetime, theyâll basically see their entire pack killed, assuming they arenât killed themselves. And if Jewlet turned to me and asked, âId be like, âNo they did in fact kill every single wolf in Ireland.âÂ
More than being interested in this story in itself, this movie made me open to the idea of watching Secret of Kells, which Iâve heard is very good but unfortunately was much hyped by one of the most annoying people Iâd ever known so I skipped the fuck out of it, and perhaps I am now ready for reconciliation and healing.Â
In all: Perfectly acceptable and enjoyable with a neat art style, but ulatimately a very standard kidâs story with an Irish coat of paint. Which could be neat if your kids have a lot of Irish heritage--God knows I would be singing the praises of This Exact Same Story But Jewish Tho as if it were the most remarkable tale on earth--but being have only what is statistically mandated by being a Montana Mutt, thatâs not enough for it to be a must see for Jewlet.Â
*I broke down and googled it the next morning. Definitely supposed to be Cromwell.
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orchid â˘Â whatâs a song you consider to be perfect?
I would probably say "where are they now" by emily jeffri, I like the spooky feeling I get when listening to it and it doesn't even have much lyrics
cactus â˘Â something youâre currently learning (about)?
can't pinpoint anything specific but I always end up learning something new whenever I research something for my ocs or my danganronpa fanfic
bamboo â˘Â do you change into a different outfit when you get home?
I always do
abelia â˘Â do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or canât part with?
I actually don't wear any jewelry. Rings, bracelets or necklaces are always itchy to wear despite looking pretty fancy
daffodil â˘Â do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think youâre similar to or different from them?
yes I have two younger sisters, one 3 years younger and the other one 6 years younger. I would say we are all similar when it comes to our ways of thinking and a lot of people tell me that either of them look similar to me. Our differences are our hobbies as they are more sporty while I'm artistic and they aren't exactly the type to be into games or anime overall. Their fashion styles are also different from mine
mahonia â˘Â what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?
My main source of inspiration is whenever I listen to a song that I think fits well to my ocs or a character. I also let other people's art or aesthetic posts inspire me. Pinterest is like a goldmine of inspiration to me and I often create moodboards for my drawing before I draw it
chia â˘Â whatâs an inside joke you have with someone else?
Akina and her 100 siblings with @t3tch0
sage â˘Â what âmediumâ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?
Can I answer all of them? I can't pick just one because my opinions tends to swing. Most often it's paintings though because I myself am painting (digitally)
edelweiss â˘Â howâd you think of your url/username? whatâs it associated with to you?
I like my username. Story behind is that when I created it (zetsubo_bani in this case) I wanted something that was a reference to danganronpa (since that was my main fandom at the time) so I chose zetsubo (japanese for despair which is the whole theme of that show) and bani is in reference to the word bunny because I thought it was cute. The one on this account (zetsubobu) was created after I tried creating an email and zetsubo_bani was already taken so I took one of the suggestions it gave me as an alternative and somehow I liked that one more than the previous one
camellia â˘Â what were you like when you were younger? do you think youâve changed a lot?
not at all tbh, I've always been obsessing over my favorite shows from a very young age. Back then it was ninjago (still is) and harry potter. Now it's black butler, ninjago and moriarty the patriot
jasmine â˘Â do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?
hmm I can't think of anything right now. I used to love yandere simulator before I found out about the creepy dev
ivy â˘Â what are your âtellsâ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell youâre happy, annoyed, upset or tired?
honestly I don't know. I'm autistic and unless I'm excited or really annoyed about something, a lot of people say they can't tell how I'm feeling as I look pretty neutral most of the time
chamomile â˘Â what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?
art of my characters or anything related to my favorite shows/characters is like the best gift you could give me. I will be so happy
aloe vera â˘Â whatâs something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?
I really want to go visit certain theatre performances and meet some of my online friends! Also go to an art con
palm tree â˘Â do you have a fictional villain you shouldnât like but love regardless?
harumi from ninjago haha. I just love her, both the design and personality. In my opinion the smartest villain this show ever had
nutmeg â˘Â howâs your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?
I don't think I have a specific theme but my room is in a nice lavender + white color. My furniture is also in that color. I also have a wall in which I hang all the fanart of my ocs that I have received!
papyrus â˘Â if you put your âon repeatâ playlist on shuffle, whatâs the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?
I don't know honestly
taro â˘Â if someone called you right now to catch up, whatâre the things youâd tell them about?
whatever happend in the fandom I'm in or show I liked. My life is honestly pretty boring but I like it as I rarely have any problems or trouble. Maybe about school once I start college in march but I often don't have topics to talk about
 ďšrandom get-to-know-me ask game  !!Â
orchid â˘Â whatâs a song you consider to be perfect?
cactus â˘Â something youâre currently learning (about)?
bamboo â˘Â do you change into a different outfit when you get home?
abelia â˘Â do you have a particular piece of jewelry you always wear or canât part with?
daffodil â˘Â do you have siblings? if yes, in what ways do you think youâre similar to or different from them?
mahonia â˘Â what place, thing, activity inspires you most and how do you express yourself when it does?
chia â˘Â whatâs an inside joke you have with someone else?
sage â˘Â what âmediumâ of art (poetry, music, fiction, paintings, statues etc.) is the most touching to you? why do you think that is?
edelweiss â˘Â howâd you think of your url/username? whatâs it associated with to you?
camellia â˘Â what were you like when you were younger? do you think youâve changed a lot?
jasmine â˘Â do you have a movie or book you loved but will never watch/read again?
ivy â˘Â what are your âtellsâ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell youâre happy, annoyed, upset or tired?
chamomile â˘Â what kind of things do you like receiving as gifts?
aloe vera â˘Â whatâs something (mundane) you really want to experience in life?
palm tree â˘Â do you have a fictional villain you shouldnât like but love regardless?
nutmeg â˘Â howâs your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?
papyrus â˘Â if you put your âon repeatâ playlist on shuffle, whatâs the first song that comes up? what do you like about it / associate it with?
taro â˘Â if someone called you right now to catch up, whatâre the things youâd tell them about?
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I have brain rot from years of watching anime, so hereâs my 100% self-indulgent and cringe pitch for the anime ending theme sequences* for CTB
The opening theme would probably be way more comprehensive of the story as a whole, but I like to imagine that the ending theme would focus way more on the past/memories section of the story. I can imagine two ways of doing that:
#1: something like this ending theme from Inuyasha where it shows shots of Warriors, Time, and Spirits as they are in the present looking wistful as they go about their every day lives, presumingly in moments when they would be thinking about the past.
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Warriors would be either hanging out at the camp or at his house. Time would be doing work on the ranch at first before we see a shot of him traveling at the head of the Chain, who are excitedly talking amongst themselves as he loses himself in thought. The engineer would be doing maintenance on and driving his train, and the last shot would probably show him driving the train far away with a sad expression.
#2: you know how the story begins with the idea that Warriors wanted the past to have been happy? Thatâs this theme.
This one is a montage of Warriors, Mask, and Spirits being friends in the past. While this pitch isnât based on a particular ending sequence, Iâve been associating it with this old Full Metal Alchemist ending.
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The sequence would be these dreamy shots of the boys having fun fishing, playing with the childâs mask collection, star gazing, tackling each other, napping, etc-- all of the good things they could have had if they had been friends. The last two shots would be of the three of them joking around a fire like they were in the first chapter before ending with present-day Warriors waking up from a dream. If you want it to be extra sad, he could be waking up alone. If you want a little bit of comfort to go with that hurt, he could wake to see the rest of the Chain getting ready for the day. The choice is yours.
*I donât have many thoughts for opening themes beyond them being a bombastic display of all of the boys in the present day, but if you have any ideas, I would love to hear them!
#okay self indulgent cringe over. back to your normally scheduled content#lu ctb#me rambling#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu#lu warriors#lu time#lu spirits#I have 100% aged myself with these anime picks but these were also the shows I was watching when I was a wee kid getting into loz#for the first time so they've been on my mind
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SU Music Rankings
Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. Itâs a long bitch. That said, Iâm not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.
I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs donât automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! Itâs a strange little balance.
Special Note: I donât dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.
1.) Change
Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.Â
If âBe Wherever You Areâ is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Stevenâs. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- itâs just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.
2.) Change Your Mind
This song is only fifty five seconds and itâs EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words Iâd always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.Â
As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I wouldâve been perfectly okay with that.
3.) Drift Away
This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.
4.) Here We Are In The Future
THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WONâT BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems wonât be safe with one epic battle. Theyâll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.
This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main characterâs backstories.
5.) Letâs Only Think About Love
Did yaâll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callisonâs normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.
6.) Here Comes A Thought
This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. Iâd have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldnât function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.
And the episode! -chefâs kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Stevenâs trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnieâs gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.
7.) Itâs Over Isnât It?
Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!
Thereâs just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearlâs voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. Iâd recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or donât know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.
8.) Stronger Than You
Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa
To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.
9.) Other Friends
Iâm not the biggest musical person, so I hadnât heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.
10.) Independent Together
This made the list entirely bc the crew was like âyouâre gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floatingâ and I am forever thankful to them for it
11.) Who We Are
Bismuth deserved more songs. âNuff said.
12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)
It Couldâve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridotâs singing voice is really cute and squeaky.Â
I know itâs silly, but I wouldâve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!
13.) Something Entirely New
I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yiâs voice so much yaâll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphireâs deep soothing lull is great.
And to have Ruby and Sapphireâs meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her âcasteâ is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.
14.) Iâm Just a Comet
The fact that Gregâs music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharplingâs voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. âThis life in the stars if all Iâve ever knownâ is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.
15.) Do It For Her
This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. Iâd just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. âOh,â I thought to myself, foolishly, âIâll probably just casually watch this from time to time.â
Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearlâs gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connieâs accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.
Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think itâs safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.
16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)
I debated putting this on the list because itâs not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.
Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.
17.) Full Disclosure
This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now weâre in the thick of it, and itâs not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal weâd established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. Thereâs this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.Â
The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Stevenâs ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.
18.) Whatâs the Use of Feeling Blue?
Iâmma admit it- Iâm a Yellow Diamond stan. Iâve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the âYellow Shattered Pinkâ theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. Itâs easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Luponeâs beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.
19.) Tower of Mistakes
This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didnât want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And thatâs still definitely a thing.
Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethystâs perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam thatâs just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.
20.) On the Run
Iâve said it once, Iâve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!Â
The dichotomy between Stevenâs play and Amethystâs honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethystâs actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc itâs my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to Whatâs Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.
21.) Be Wherever You Are
This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and heâs just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.
22.) Familiar
I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to âfixâ a broken family. Itâs a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.
23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart
Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose mustâve had at the line âAnd if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.â like thereâs a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one
24.) What Can I Do?
Iâm kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Roseâs flaws in thinking.
Also, Iâm shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.
25.) Cookie Cat
I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. Itâs been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but Iâll be damned if I donât remember âAnimals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.â
26.) Giant Woman
I am. NOT the biggest fan of Stevenâs original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldnât listen to this on the fly.Â
The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. Itâs a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.
27.) Strong in the Real Way
This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugiliteâs problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearlâs lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.Â
And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?
28.) That Distant Shore
I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but Iâm just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.
But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know sheâll never talk to anyone about it, know sheâll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.
29.) Dear Old Dad
Iâve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. Thereâs some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. Itâs just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.
Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? Thereâs no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharplingâs best attempts didnât save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isnât, so it gets a spot on here.
#Steven Universe#Steven Universe Future#SU Analysis#(I guess????)#Music#Steven Quartz Universe#Amethyst#Garnet#Pearl#Yellow Diamond#Blue Diamond#Blue Pearl#Yellow Pearl#Greg Universe#Bismuth#Spinel#Lapis Lazuli#Steg#Opal#Rose Quartz#Lars Barriga#Sadie Miller#Sapphire#Ruby#Stevonnie#Falc talks
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Dragon Age Library Edition Volume 1 annotations & additional pages/art compilation
Dragon Age Library Edition Volume 1 is a hardcover collection of some pre-existing Dragon Age comics that was released in 2014. It comprises of all issues of The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak and Until We Sleep. In places, it includes additional annotations/commentaries by the illustrators and authors, as well as a few additional pages with additional art. iirc these additional annotations and pages/art arenât featured or available anywhere else (in the franchise I mean; other people have probably put them online at some point Iâm sure).
From what I can see at least, Library Edition Volume 1 is no longer in print, and as such listings for it on resale sites etc are.. price-inflated & prohibitively expensive (~ÂŁ100+, which Iâm sure we can all agree is just not reasonable or accessible to most people). Due to this, Iâve compiled the additional annotations and pages here in this post. Thank you and credit to @artevalentinapaz, who kindly shared the material with me. This post has been made with their permission. The rest of this post is under a cut due to length.
These commentaries are in the context of The Silent Grove, Those Who Speak and Until We Sleep. If you notice any errors or annotations missing, or need anything clarified, just let me know. I think the annotations are in chronological order. In places I elaborated in square brackets to help explain which part of the comics an annotation is referring to. A note before you proceed further: some of the topics referenced in the annotations/additional pages are heavy or uncomfortable. The quotes here are word-for-word transcriptions of dev/creator commentaries, not my personal opinions or phrasings.
(Also, I do recommend always supporting comic creators by purchasing their comics legitimately. I own each issue of these comics having bought other editions of them all legitimately. The reason I put this post together is because this specific Library Edition volume has been discontinued and the consequently-inflated cost is so high, rendering the additional material inaccessible to most.)
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The Silent Grove annotations
Illustrator Chad Hardin:Â âI used to be an environmental artist for video games, so I built a 3-D model of Antiva City using the program Silo. Many of the buildings are simple cubes, but a few are more detailed. Overall, I spent the better part of a day building it, but I used it again and again throughout The Silent Grove to maintain continuity in the backgrounds.â
Script Writer Alexander Freed:Â âEven working with David Gaider, it took me several drafts to find Alistairâs voice. His narrative had to convey his humor and self-doubt from Dragon Age: Origins while suggesting a newfound weariness earned during his years on the throne. For readers familiar with the character, he needed to seem like a changed Alistair - but Alistair nonetheless.â
Chad Hardin:Â âIf you read a lot of comics, you might wonder why the majority of the heroes wear skin-tight suits. Well, I can tell you: they are easy and quick to draw. In video games, you build the model once and then animate it, so details donât slow you down. In comics, everything has to be rendered by hand. Varric and Alistairâs outfits were quite detailed. It took me a long time to get used to them, and even longer to memorize the designs until drawing them was second nature - Varricâs knee armor in particular! Oy vey!â
David Gaider:Â âOne of my favorite scenes in the entire series [when Varric and Isabela are disarming traps and picking locks together while Alistair looks on]. Isabela and Varric, doing what rogues do. I had a suggestion for how to put it together, but Alex managed to make it fit and did a great job with it.â
Chad Hardin: âI never used to keep any of the artwork I created for comics. I would just hand the pages over to my agent to sell. This page [when Alistair, Varric and Isabela are in a tavern together, with hookah in the foreground] I kept for myself. I love the hookah-smoking elves in the second panel and Isabelaâs face in the last panel. I rendered the first four chapters of The Silent Grove in grayscale using ink washes, gouache and Copie markers.â
David Gaider:Â âFor a little while, Varric [in these comic stories] was supposed to be Zevran from Dragon Age: Origins, which would have made sense, Zevran being Antivan and all. I know that some fans would have loved to see him, but the dynamics of the group just didnât work as well. Then a planned cameo later had to be cut for space. Ah well, Zev, another time.â
Alexander Freed:Â âIsabela at her most dangerous [climbing up the side of the cliff]. This scene - featuring a scantily clad, dripping-wet woman who tends to flaunt her sexuality - could easily have come across as exploitative, but Chad did a lovely drop portraying Isabela as purely focused and deadly.â
Chad Hardin:Â âIsabela rising out of the water and scaling the cliff with the knife in her mouth is one of my favorite parts of The Silent Grove. It is one of those moments where the writing really inspired the art. Hats off to Alex and David. This is another page I kept for myself.â
Colorist Michael Atiyeh:Â âThis is one of my favorite Dragon Age pages. Chad is such an amazing artist; I feel very fortunate to have had the opportunity to work with him.â
Chad Hardin: âI love that this page [when a guard spots Varric and shouts âIntruder!â] made it in uncensored. So many times in comics, I draw something and some stuffy lawyers come out of the woodwork and tell me to tone it down. Dark Horse and BioWare always let me have fun, and this turned out to be one of my favorite pages with Varric and Bianca. Any guesses to which word he is mouthing in the second panel?â
Alexander Freed:Â âNote the simple decency of Alistair as he gives his cloak, without comment, to Isabela. For all his flaws, heâs genuinely kind at heart - a rare enough trait in Isabelaâs world that I think itâs much of what she values in him.â
Chad Hardin:Â âI love the opening panel to this chapter [the opening panels to Chapter 3, when the team are on a ship at sea]. Itâs the image I use on the homepage of my website. This page was a gift to my cousin Wendy, who loves pirates. Seascapes with sailing ships might be clichĂŠd in fine art, but for me it was a first.â
David Gaider:Â âI wanted to have this story center on the group travelling to a Witch of the Wilds other than Flemeth, and originally I had set it somewhere else - until I remembered a Codex entry from Dragon: Age Origins that offhandedly mentioned a witch in the Tellari Swamps. Brilliant! Itâd look like I planned it all along. I didnât.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âI love opportunities where I can show a change in the time of day as you move from panel to panel [when the ship heads towards and the team arrive in the Tellari Swamps]. I feel the palette of each panel is very distinct and beautiful.â
Alexander Freed: âWhy did Alistair choose two people he barely knows to be his companions on this quest? We never make this explicit, but of course Varric is on the right track. Alistair wants to surround himself with people who donât know him and wonât judge him, yet itâs Alistairâs idealism that Isabela and Varric work to preserve.â
Chad Hardin:Â âAnother page where the writing inspired the art [when the group suddenly encounter a dragon]. I love the dragon bursting onto the scene and Isabelaâs stare. Some writers will try to cram six or seven panels on a page like this and the pacing just doesnât allow the artist to give each moment the right punch. Can you imagine if the first panel was crammed into a single square inch?â
Chad Hardin:Â âYavana was one of the only characters that we did no preliminary sketches for. I donât know how that happened, but thankfully it worked out.â
David Gaider:Â âI love how Yavana looks like a cross between Flemeth and Morrigan. Flemmigan? Sheâs totally Chadâs design, and itâs great. Typical for these witches, she never says things straight. In my mind, this Alistair is the one who did the Dark Ritual in Dragon Age: Origins - and I was half-tempted to have him lose his cool in this first scene [opening panels of Chapter 4] with her. Too early, though.â
Alexander Freed:Â âThrough this whole sequence [the page when Varric aims Bianca at Yavana], Yavana is dropping cryptic hints and Alistair is refusing to play along. Heâs met Flemeth and Morrigan - he knows Yavana wonât give him a straight answer, and he wonât give her the satisfaction of asking needlessly.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âSometimes itâs the little things on a page that spark my interest. Here [when the team navigate vines and mud to get to the temple], the sunset panel came out great and the mud looks really thick and gooey. Itâs fun to focus on these details and make them stand out.â
Chad Hardin:Â âI hated drawing this scene [when Isabela gets kicked] where Isabela gets the boot to the face. Call me old fashioned, but I was raised to believe that only a coward would ever hit a woman (even a battle-hardened pirate adventurer). I draw at home, and my girls often watch me work in my studio. This was a page I didnât want them watching me draw. I do like, though, that Isabela gets up, yanks the arrow out, and then soldiers on (and later extracts brutal revenge).â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âPoor Isabela. It seems I gave her more bruises and black eyes than any of the other characters. [when Isabela is yanking the arrow out]â
Chad Hardin: âItâs always interesting to go back and look at artwork because it reminds me of what was going on in my life at the time. I inked this page [opening panels of Chapter 5] at a âdraw nightâ session at an anime convention in St. George, Utah. I was one of the special guests, but I missed the first day because I was at my grandfatherâs funeral in Las Vegas, Nevada. Seeing this page brought back those memories.â
David Gaider: ââBianca says hello.â [quoting the panels being referenced] I adore Varric. I was tempted to have him narrate the entire series [in reference to these three comics], but then again I liked the idea of having each series center on one of the trioâs viewpoints. This book belongs to Alistair, but that doesnât stop Varric from getting all the best lines.â
Alexander Freed:Â âClaudio, of course, is not a terribly sympathetic figure. But I wanted to emphasize that he takes this fight as personally as Isabela - he sincerely loved Luis and blames Isabela for the manâs death. I think itâs important to give every character, even the most loathsome, some dignity. [when Isabela and Claudio are fighting]â
Chad Hardin: âPayback! Here is where Isabela extracts her revenge on Claudio [when Isabela stabs Claudio]. I never enjoyed killing off a character so much. I particularly enjoyed putting the look of shock in his eyes. He had it coming. There is something satisfying about killing a âmade manâ.â
Chad Hardin: âEvery now and then when drawing comics, I wish I could animate some panels and watch them as a cartoon. It would be great to see this sequence [when Yavana catches Claudioâs soul] in full motion as Yavana snatches Claudioâs soul, makes it reenter his corpse and then extracts information from him until he bursts into flame. It was a very Hellboy-ish moment. I enjoyed the movie that played in my mind while drawing this scene. Hope everyone liked the result.â
Chad Hardin:Â âAs I mentioned on page 17, I rendered the first four chapters in grayscale, which made the black-and-white art look great, but had a neutralizing effect when it came to colors. By the time I drew chapter 4, I had seen the effect it was having and decided to stop using the grayscale so the colors would pop. When I saw this page [when Alistair says to Yavana âAnd we helped you find itâ] in print, it confirmed to me that I made the right decision. I honestly feel this art was the best of The Silent Grove.â
Chad Hardin: âI practically painted these pages [when Yavana says âIt is permitted. Tonight and only tonightâ] in thumbnails hoping it would help me choose how to render them in ink. It is so hard trying to figure out how to get a full range of value out of just black and white. There are some artists and inkers that make this look easy. Mark Schultz comes to mind. Michael saved my bacon. Colorists really do so much work when it comes to rendering; this page came out awesome because of him.â
David Gaider:Â âHere we reveal the existence of Great Dragons (as opposed to High Dragons), and also that Yavana was the source of the return of dragons to Thedas after their departure for so many centuries. But why? Thereâs the rub, and not even Alistair can trust that sheâs telling him the truth.â
David Gaider:Â âHereâs the controversial scene [Alistair killing Yavana]. I think some fans donât like that Alistair did this, and have said they consider it out of character. I donât. From his perspective, Flemeth and her daughters have been toying with the world for reasons that canât be trusted. They dragged Maric away from his family, from him. One might think his judgement foolish, but considering what Alistair was capable of deciding even back in Dragon Age: Origins, itâs certainly not out of character.â
Chad Hardin: â[same scene as above] This was a controversial page, and there were a lot of people who thought it was out of character for Alistair to kill Yavana (I didnât see it coming - I mean, you just donât kill a Witch of the Wild), but here is the thing: this page is Alistair acting as a king. Yavana has been manipulating him, trying to play him like a pawn, and he just canât allow that. Thereâs too much at stake, for himself and for his subjects.â
Alexander Freed:Â âThe end? An end, at least [the trio walking off into the distance]. The series needed a note of closure while leading into Those Who Speak (which wouldnât arrive until many months later). David tweaked the ending in the outline several times, and I did my best to balance resolving Alistairâs emotional journey without resolving the quest. Itâs not as clean as Iâd have liked, but fortunately, now itâs all in one volume...â
Those Who Speak annotations
Alexander Freed:Â âCapturing Isabelaâs narrative voice was much easier for me than capturing Alistairâs - partly because Iâd already written The Silent Grove, and partly because of my own writing proclivities. Rereading now, I wonder if I laid on the (mild) profanity a bit too thick. Iâll leave you to judge.â
David Gaider:Â âI like the additional detail Alex and Chad put in, letting us see more of Qarinus and more of Isabelaâs crew. Alex wanted to give her crew more of a presence, and let her first mate have some face time, so they werenât just parts of the scenery. Good call on his part.â
David Gaider:Â âIâm really fond of the formal getups Chad made for the party. Isabelaâs actually comes from a concept we didnât use from the cancelled Dragon Age 2 expansion, if I remember right. And Maevaris came from me asking for âsomeone who looks like Mae Westâ - with the wonderful outfit all Chadâs doing.
Chad Hardin: âMaevaris. I love Mae. When David and Dragon Age art director Matthew Goldman spoke to me about designing Mae, they wanted her to be fully female with the exception of her biology. They told me to think âMae Westâ. Well, when I think of Mae West, I think of her... womanly shape. So, drawing Maevaris was always walking a fine line between portraying Maeâs identity and her biology. The process endeared her to me.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âJust like in The Silent Grove, we are introduced to another gentleman from Isabelaâs past [when the team meet Lord Devon and Isabela threatens him]. As was the case with Claudio, he will meet his fate at her hands.â
Chad Hardin: âWhen I was drawing Titus, my kids asked me why I was drawing âangry Jesusâ or âevil Jesusâ. I canât remember which term they used exactly, but it made me chuckle. I was going for a mix of Rapustin and Joe Stalin, but âevil Jesusâ would do.â
David Gaider:Â âIâm not sure itâs apparent here [when Alistair says âIâd really rather notâ], but Alistair was supposed to be using one of his Templar powers on Titus (thatâs why Titus recognizes what he is on the next page) and disrupting his magic.â
Alexander Freed:Â âIsabela is witty and charming enough that it can be easy to forget that sheâs not, in fact, a nice person. Even after finishing the outline, David was concerned about making her too unsympathetic - but I loved his approach in this series. The dark deeds Isabela commits - this murder included [Isabela killing Lord Devon] - are what make her guilt tangible and no easy matter to overcome.â
Alexander Freed:Â âI thought the notions of Isabelaâs pride in her captaincy and dedication to her crew were some of the most interesting aspects of her character in Davidâs story. In scenes here [when Isabela is on her ship saying âKeep them focused and keep them soberâ] and elsewhere, I did my best to emphasize their place at the core of Isabelaâs world.â
Chad Hardin:Â âMost of the time I draw from imagination, but because of the complexity of this page [Qunari trying to board Isabelaâs ship] I decided it would work better if I had photo reference. On this page are my nephews Jared (Varric) and Adam, my niece Melissa, my kids Erica, Tasey Michaela (Isabela) and Chad (Alistair), my friendâs daughter Amy, my wife Joy, and the neighborhood kids as Isabelaâs pirate crew. (The crew member mooning the Qunari is out of my olâ noodle.) I paid their modelling fee in pizza and root beer. Also, I had originally drawn cannons on Isabelaâs ship, so if there are parts of it that look slightly wonky, chances are there was a cannon there.â
David Gaider:Â âEver since the BioWare artists finally did a concept for female Qunari, Iâve been itching to include one in the game. Itâs always slipped through my fingers, so I was going to be damned if Iâd have a Qunari plot in a comic - without the same technical limitations - and not have one present.
Chad Hardin:Â âI had no idea this was the first time anyone outside of BioWare had seen a female Qunari.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âI really like the lighting in this sequence [Isabela in her cell thinking âI havenât eaten in daysâ], especially the strong white light and the characters in shadow.â
David Gaider: âThe entire sequence of Rasaan interrogating Isabela was something I plotted out in detail when this series began. Here they discuss names - something treated in a manner peculiar to the Qunari, considering how much importance they apply to what things are called (and not called), because it forms the core of their identity. Isabela brushes it off, but as we find out later itâs also at the core of her identity. I liked that parallel.â
Alexander Freed:Â âTo balance out the relatively static talking pages elsewhere in the issue, I hoped to make the interrogation and flashback sequences beautiful and full of information. I proposed an approach to Chad, and he wisely reshaped it into what you see here [the page with the scene where Isabela says âIâve made a lot of stupid mistakesâ]. Anything that succeeds on these pages should be credited to him; anything that fails is my fault.â
Chad Hardin:Â âProbably the most challenging spread I have ever done. My friend Stacie Pitt was the model for Isabela on this page, and my wife Joy was Rasaan. I saved these pages [around the scene when Rasaan says âMistakes can be correctedâ] for myself.â
David Gaider: âSten from Dragon Age: Origins becoming the new Arishok of the Qunari was something we'd planned even during Dragon Age 2. This was a great opportunity to show that, and also to show that Sten didnât acquire horns even despite the makeover the Qunari received in DA2. Hornless Qunari are considered special, and Sten is no exception.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âI think that David, Alex and Chad handled Isabelaâs flashback [to when she was sold by her mother] in an interesting way, and it created a nice flow to the story.â
David Gaider: âThis was a controversial scene [what happened to the slaves Isabela was transporting], the end result of a lot of discussions between me and Isabelaâs original writer on the team, and it went through a lot of revisions over that time. It needed to fit with the story Isabela told the player in DA2, but fill in the blanks of what she didnât tell. We didnât want Isabela to be someone who became who she is because she was âbrokenâ but instead as a result of her own actions - yet also not be completely beyond redemption.â
Chad Hardin:Â âThese were hard pages [as above] to draw. It was difficult knowing that events such as this are part of human history, such as the Zong massacre in 1781, where the British courts ordered the insurers to reimburse the crew of the Zong for financial losses caused by throwing slaves overboard when faced with a lack of water. Horrifying beyond words.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âHere, Isabela visits here crew, and I wanted to play up that she was in the light and they were in a dark cell. The light streaming through the bars gave me the opportunity to highlight Brand, who also had dialogue in the scene.â
Alexander Freed:Â âI struggled to find a way for Varric to contribute to victory without distracting from Alistair and Stenâs big fight. Iâm happy with the solution: a brazen lie seemed appropriate to the character without taking away from the main show.â
David Gaider:Â âI believe my original plan had Isabelaâs and Alistairâs fight scenes happening separately, but I like how Alex intertwined them in the script and I especially like how this ends up highlighting the differences between their characters when their fights are resolved. Isabela is defiant, revealing her name not because Rasaan demands it but because itâs her choice. In both cases, mercy is strength.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âThe brush I created for the clouds really gave them a nice watercolor effect here [on the deck of the ship, Sten calling Alistair âkadanâ]. That brush has become a staple in my toolbox.â
Alexander Freed: âWith the strong theme of names running through these issues, I liked the notion that Isabela had outgrown being, well, âIsabelaâ. When her name comes up in Until We Sleep, itâs largely played with ambiguity.â
Until We Sleep annotations
Alexander Freed: âThe story of âArthurâ is one of my favorite minor sequences [Varric infiltrating and fighting his way into the fortress]. It tells us something about Varric and it delivers plot information - and itâs also a reminder that our heroes kill an awful lot of people during these series and cope with it in their own ways. In general, writing Varric let me skirt the edge of metacommentary, which I greatly enjoyed.â
David Gaider: âVarric, as always, is my âvoice of the narratorâ. Here heâs expressing some of my own amusement at Alistairâs growing list of peculiarities [âYour majesty is quite the special snowflakeâ]. To think, back at the beginning of Dragon Age: Origins he was just the playerâs goofy sidekick who grew up in a barn.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âBy the third series, Until We Sleep, I really started to have a complete feel for what I wanted the final art to look like. As an artist, itâs important to continue to evolve and grow. The close-up of Stenâs face [same page as above] is a perfect example of how I wanted the rendering on the characters to look.â
Alexander Freed: âDavidâs outline called for a short, somber reveal of the Calenhad story by Sten. Fueled by my desire to avoid âtalking headsâ sequences, I scripted it as a full-on storytelling flashback. David made sure the history worked (at least from the Qunari point of view), and Chad did a beautiful job handling it in a mere two pages.â
David Gaider:Â âBlood is important in Dragon Age, as a theme. Here we tie in the dragon blood that was mentioned all the way back in The Silent Grove and explain what it means at last. I was a bit hesitant to tarnish the legend of Calenhad the Great in this way, but I comfort myself with the knowledge this tale is but a viewpoint and not necessarily the entire truth.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âTitus melting the attacker is a great example of classic comicbook storytelling and exactly what made me fall in love with the medium.â
David Gaider:Â âI was really happy with how Chad handled the reveal of Mae as transgender [the scene with Mae in the cell]. My worry was that Varric finding her disrobed might be potentially titillating, but I think he handled it nicely. I only wish there was more time to have Mae properly respond to being exposed in this manner, even to a friend.â
Chad Hardin:Â âI originally drew Mae as female [same scene as above], then changed her anatomy, so the psychological violation and humiliation she felt would be the focus. Hope that came across.â
Chad Hardin:Â âWhen in doubt, have Bianca shoot it [Varric shooting the artifact].â
David Gaider:Â âThis scene [Varric and Bianca the dwarf] with Varric was one I wanted to do for a very long time. Weâve hinted that Varricâs crossbow was named after a real person, someone he never wants to talk about. Now I finally had the chance to show why.â
Chad Hardin:Â âOf all my Dragon Age pages, this scene was hands down my favorite, because Varric is my favorite. It was awesome to get to draw Bianca in her dwarven form. These scenes give you a glimpse of the love Varric and Bianca shared. It doesnât tell you the whole story, but you can assume plenty from what is shown. You get to see Varric mostly naked (youâre welcome), but most of all you witness Varricâs heartbreak. I felt privileged to draw it. I got so obsessed with drawing this page I did an entire watercolor painting based on the last panel [Varric gets up to leave, âThis isnât rightâ - ? or perhaps the scene where he opens the door to leave].â
Alexander Freed:Â âUnreliable narrators are always tricky - done wrong, they can just confuse the reader. But Iâm fairly happy with Varricâs lies throughout this series, most of which are used to downplay the emotional cost of events rather than whitewash the events themselves.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âThis palette worked perfectly [Varric standing in front of the doorway/portal in the Fade proper], but I canât take all the credit because BioWare provided reference for the Fade. I added the hot orange energy for the doorway, which looks great with the sickly green sky.â
David Gaider:Â âThis scene [Isabelaâs Fade nightmare] was actually inspired by a fan named Allegra who did a cosplay as a Qunari version of Isabela. I knew I wanted something like this for Isabelaâs Fade section of the comic, but it didnât really solidify until I saw the cosplay.â
Chad Hardin:Â âIsabela is more affected by her encounter with Rasaan than we were led to believe. A portent of things to come?â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âI love this shot of Mae in the fourth panel [on the page where Isabela is affected by vines]. I would be remiss if I didnât mention what a great character she is in the series, and Chad captures her beautifully in this shot.â
Alexander Freed:Â âI saw this issue as a sort of downbeat victory lap. Over the course of the previous series, our protagonists largely came to terms with the inner demons the Fade confronts them with here. The fact theyâve come so far lets them win this last battle... but they still have scars that will never completely disappear.â
David Gaider:Â âMaric was in the first two novels I wrote for Dragon Age. Seeing Chadâs rendering of him as a regal, grown-up version of Alistair made me incredibly nostalgic. Some characters you just never let go of.â
Alexander Freed: âI feel Varricâs lines (âtell yourself the stories you need to tellâ but ânever live your own liesâ) are the natural endpoint of all the exchanges heâs had with Alistair, starting from the end of Chapter 1 of The Silent Grove. And of course it plays off the story of âArthurâ, as well.ââ
Chad Hardin:Â âIâm happy with the way Titus came off in these pages [Titus attacking and saying âThe last magisters of Tevinter were so closeâ]. He looks threatening and powerful when fighting Alistair, Isabela and Varric, but genuinely confused by his inability to defeat Maric. Bye-bye, evil Jesus.â
Alexander Freed:Â âI canât help but feel for Titus. He was unthinkably corrupt, but I see him as genuinely motivated by Tevinterâs glory. (The fact Alistair reads zealous ideology as a lust for power says a lot about both characters.)â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âI love the seamless transition of color from Titusâ magic to the dragon breath and then back into the orange remnants of his magic in the smoke. This was a really fun panel to color [Titus saying âDie by what wrought youâ].â
David Gaider:Â ââYou are not the dreamer here. I am.â I always have a scene or a line thatâs in my head when I begin a tale, and this line of Maricâs was one I wanted all the way back when I started working on The Silent Grove.â
Chad Hardin:Â âI love this page [Maric and Alistair clasping hands]; Mikeâs colors are spot on. We get to see all our heroes in an ideal state for the last time. This is the last Dragon Age page I saved for myself.â
David Gaider:Â âThis scene kills me [Alistair destroying the Magrallen]. I knew it needed to happen; I knew I wanted it to happen even back when I began the story. Alistair lets Maric remain in the Fade rather than dragging him back to a world which has moved on. Alistairâs ready to move on, but forcing him to give up that hope... it makes me feel like a bad person.â
Chad Hardin:Â âHeartbreak for Alistair as he realizes that once again, as a king, he must kill: this time, his own father (granted, the Magrallen did most of the work). I really like how Maric crumbles away in the end. This was my last page, and the emotions on the page and in my studio were very final. Altogether, this was a year of my life in the making. On my last page, I wrote a thank you to everyone involved, the crew at Dark Horse and the crew at BioWare. Iâd like to take this opportunity to thank them again. It was a thrill. Finally, a huge thank-you to the Dragon Age fan community, whose support was overwhelmingly awesome.â
Michael Atiyeh:Â âAs the story came to an end, I knew I was going to miss these characters. Writing these annotations reinforces the fact that I hope to work with this great creative team again one day. Many thanks to Dark Horse and BioWare for the opportunity to work on Dragon Age.â
Alexander Freed:Â âThe tension between the art and the narration on this page [the one with Alistair sitting on his throne while nobles argue] is something you can only pull off in comics. Neither tells the full, bittersweet story alone. Similarly, these issues wouldnât have been possible without everyone on the team; thanks to David, Chad, Michael, and everyone I lack space to list!â
Additional pages / art
Library Edition Volume 1 also came with some additional pages, with additional art and commentary. These are as follows (Iâm including them for the sake of completion, click the links to see):
1. Alistair and dragon concepts
2. Rasaan and Maevaris concepts
3. Sten, Titus and Yavana concepts
4. A series of cover pages 1
5. A series of cover pages 2
In case anyone has trouble reading the notes that accompany these images, Iâve transcribed them below:
1. Dragon Age Sketch Book
Alistair ConceptÂ
Dragon Age / Dark Horse
Chad Hardin:Â âThe headshot of Alistair is from a finished sketch with a rejected armor design. In order to save time, the redrawing was completed on the computer, where tweaks and changes are quick and easy, if somewhat less glorious.â
[Dragon] Head #1 / Head #2
Chad Hardin:Â âEveryone liked this dragon sketch so much that Dark Horse printed it for signings at conventions. You can see I did multiple proposals for the dragonâs head. It was more effective than drawing the body over and over.â
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2. [arrow pointing to Maeâs sleeve] concealed [I think thatâs what it says anyway] daggers / shurikens?
Chad Hardin:Â âWhen designing Rasaan and Maevaris, I wasnât exactly sure how their roles would play out in the series. Maevarisâ outfit was inspired by brothel madams of the Wild West. I thought it would be cool to have some weapons concealed in the formal wear. These never came into play in the series, but they were there in my mind.â
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3. Chad Hardin:Â âAlthough we only see Titus in his battle garb in one issue, I really liked the design of his armor. The sketch of Yavana was done on the fly and served as both a rough preliminary sketch and as a panel layout. You have to work hard and smart in comics to keep up with the deadlines.â
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4. Cover Artist Anthony Palumbo:Â âThis was my first assignment for Dark Horse, and I was both excited and nervous. I drew pencil sketches of the main characters, scanned them and played with different arrangements, poses and color schemes in Photoshop.â
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5. Anthony Palumbo:Â âFellow illustrator Winona Nelson helped me by sitting for photo reference. I created the mock-jewelry with gold-painted Sculpey. Thatâs a quick photo of my own gaping maw, to help with the image of Varric.â
#dragon age#bioware#video games#artevalentinapaz#alistair theirin#fav warden#morrigan#queen of my heart#long post#longpost
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Ok I need to let this out of my chest or I WILL blow up and never get over this. So the Cuphead Show was finally given a proper trailer and release date, and most people on the twitter and tumblr tags are hyped about it, which is really good! a very happy celebration!
However, I also see, here or there, someone going out of the way to complain that it doesn't LOOK like the 30s. Cuphead was a game that felt like playing a cartoon from the golden age, why does this show look ugly, or too modern, or etc etc you get the idea. Someone even called it "like every other Netflix show" and just
Maybe trying to recreate old animation from the era isn't this show's purpose. It was the game's purpose, but not the show's. Maybe they wanted to expand or play around with the setting and characters they got. Maybe they just figured they got a franchise here, and wanted to expand to a cartoon, because that's what they were inspired by, and let the animation team get creative with what they have. Maybe they wanted more money and wanted to make something profitable. I do not know, all I know is that they're not doing the same thing they did with the game.
Probably because that would probably be an eternal, never ending development hell.
Like, think about it. we're talking about an animation style that's 90 to 100 years old, that mostly looks the way it does because it uses techniques not used as much, since they take so fucking long to work on. They had to color every cell through photoshop so they didn't take eternity to finish the game, and they only did that because it would have the same effect to traditional coloring. Studio MDHR were meticulous as hell with this game's style, even purposely adding in little mistakes in the animation to make it extra authentic. I have absolute respect for that kind of dedication, but I also understand if another studio wouldn't want to do that as well, with how much time and money it costs.
Hell, Cuphead diehard fans should KNOW how time consuming and expensive this process is. The brothers had to mortgage their HOME to afford the development of the game, that's basically a common fun fact. The original teaser trailer came out in 2013, while the game came out in 2017. That's, what? 4-5 years of development? Same thing happened with the DLC. Announced in 2018, and it's only NOW releasing in 2022, if it doesn't get delayed again. It's that time consuming. And this isn't something they can speed up for a tv show using modern technology, because, to be blunt, animation nerds are absolutely anal about accuracy.
I'm know this, I'M an animation nerd, and I get anal over inaccuracies. Remember Magic Portals? It tried to do the same thing Cuphead did, and its trailer got ripped apart on sight. People noticed the tweening, the slow animation, the inconsistent time period, and they hit it ALL in their criticisms and mockery of the game. I'm not a fan of Magic Portals myself, I don't really felt comfortable with what felt like a copy cat coming way too early in Cuphead's popularity, but I think the backlash it got could reflect what would've happened if the show tried to be era accurate while also trying to be quicker about it. It looks too digital, they're using tweening here, puppets there, this is obviously a reused asset, they wouldn't hear the end of it. Animation nerds would pick it apart and NOT be satisfied unless it is pitch perfect.
But ignoring animation, would you WANT to watch a show similar to 1930s shorts? Like, 100 or so shorts of random bullshit happening, events disjointed and only kinda following a storyline, characters constantly changing their look because pre-production was not really a thing during that time? That's not going to happen; both audiences and studios have WAY different standards now than what they had in the animation industry's infancy. A studio wouldn't just let the team go loose without preplanning, and more importantly? It wouldn't have that much of an audience. Wow! people who like animation history! That is not a big nor particularly mainstream crowd. If you could get the furries with anthro characters, maybe it'd do better, but cuphead isn't really known for its vast cast of walking talking animals. That show would BOMB with the average Netflix user if it was like that.
So, essentially, you'd have a show that'd be difficult and time consuming to produce, taking up a bunch of money, with no guarantee it'll get that money back through views. It'd be a suicide project.
Look, you can not like The Cuphead Show's style. You can skip it, find other shows to watch, maybe even play/watch the game again, and marvel at what its dev team's dedication and love for the legacy of animation has created. But it's unrealistic to sit there and expect a modern studio to use a pricey, tedious animation style, to create a show that maybe only you would watch.
#ramble#long#just so anyone can blacklist the tag and skip this entire thing#it's a mess and probably tiresome
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farran rereads lost lagoon: chapters 3-4
- a shot-put ball, according to my cursory research, weighs in the neighborhood of 6-16 pounds. leila howland expects me to believe that princess âhoisted an adult woman 70 ft into the air on the daily with nothing but a pulley and raw upper body strengthâ rapunzel has a hard time picking up a shot.
anyways
- rapunzel thinks about how she used to talk to herself in her tower when she was isolated (and lonely) but stopped once she came to corona, and this girl looked like she was talking to herself, and it gave rapunzel this weird sense of familiarity! now what in the world could that mean? its so subtle i canât quite put my finger on it.
again, romance novel.
less sardonically - i will say that tts cass has never struck me as an especially lonely person. yes, rapunzel is quite possibly her first ever close friend, but cass also appears to be on pleasant terms with her coworkers and has at least one or two friendships or mentor-type relationships among the guards (stan and pete). animals in tts are anthropomorphized enough to qualify as humans, and cassandra is unequivocally friends with owl and fidella. she is friendly if not friends with at least one coronan citizen (monty). sheâs utterly unfazed by crowleyâs crabbiness. sheâs able to get along with the pub thugs. in vardaros she befriends vex with ease and makes herself right at home among the citizenry at large. there is zero friction between her and lance - at most she rolls her eyes when heâs being ridiculous. and out of the main cast, cassandra is the one who seems closest to varian in s1 - like, she has actual bonding moments with him.Â
THE POINT BEING, cassandra may not have a lot of close friends, but she is nevertheless personable and demonstrates the ability to adapt herself to suit a variety of social environments. maybe iâm projecting here - i have very few close offline friends because my preference for in-person socialization is for it to be very casual - but taken together this doesnât scream âlonely personâ to me. it instead says âperson who finds social fulfillment in a wide net of friendly acquaintanceshipsâ and possibly also âperson who finds close, emotionally intimate relationships worthwhile but very demanding to maintain, and so seldom or never seeks them out.â
this, absolutely, a very subjective reading of her character - it is just as plausible for cass to be someone who is socially competent but feels inwardly unfulfilled until rapunzel comes along. but even in that reading, this implication that cassandra is as deeply lonely, as thoroughly isolated in corona as rapunzel was in her tower is baldly absurd.
- i think i will have more thoughts about how arianna is characterized and the relationship she and rapunzel have with each other later in the story. for now it feels rather mechanical, and like arianna exists in the story to facilitate cassunzel happening.
- cassandra comes across to me like she has an anxiety disorder written by someone who doesnât quite know how to convey how that feels? she catastrophizes: what if rapunzel thinks cass attacked her? will she get in trouble? but then she stops to make snide comments about rapunzelâs security detail â[falling] down on the jobâ and concludes with an impressive amount of certainty that rapunzel isnât going to make a big deal of it, after all. that⌠isnât how anxiety works?
then, immediately, she finds a note from her father scolding her for slacking offâmaking it clear that she is indeed in trouble, like she fearedâand her response is to scoff and throw it away. zero concern about being in trouble. zero worry about the consequences she might face for refusing the pointed âofferâ of being rapunzelâs lady-in-waiting. like⌠this isnât anxiety. iâm positive itâs meant to convey anxiety, but it comes across as cassandra just being⌠melodramatic and rude and grumpy. like a teenager. itâs unpleasant. and it bears very little resemblance to tts cass, who expresses a clear and consistent anxiety regarding the security of her job and the looming threat of a convent.
- secondly: âFriedborg reported that you missed your afternoon duties AGAIN. Please be advised that this is unacceptable. The queen is looking for a lady-in-waiting to serve Princess Rapunzel. It would be a great opportunity for you, and you must show the queen how prepared you are to train her in the ways of the court.â i am 100% convinced that howland thought cass was rapunzelâs age or younger. if friedborg is effectively cassandraâs direct supervisor, and she is reporting absences to cassandraâs father instead of addressing this with cassandra directly, the only explanation that makes sense is that cassandra is not of legal age.
- âLadies donât wield weapons, lead military strategy meetings, or race on horseback. Ladies do needlework, flower arranging, and hairstyling.â
sighs.
i am not going to argue that corona, in any incarnation, isnât culturally sexist. it is. there are no women in the guard, no women in trades, no female business owners in the vein of monty or xavier or feldspar. besides rapunzel and arianna - who as the monarchâs spouse has very little in the way of actual political power - there are no women in the upper echelons of the government. besides cassandra, the only gnc women around are criminals. cass is denied even a chance to join the guard for no evident reason, even though her father allows eugene - a man he openly despises - to take the tests and then begrudgingly hires him when he passes. no one sees an issue with this, even though cassandra is demonstrably overqualified.
however.
howland makes this cultural sexism explicit text, and she does so in such a way that it implies something pretty horrifying about the already pretty horrifying corona-saporia unification backstory.
i am talking, of course, about general shampanier. you know, the female saporian general whom herz der sonne married when the two kingdoms were unified. the female saporian general who personally dueled der sonne for hours, according to under raps. the female saporian general who, forget military strategy meetings, led an entire goddamn army. i will accept the possibility that shampanier did not ride horses, because rapunzelâs return suggests that saporians have some sort of cultural objection to that. but this book predates rapunzelâs return by a large margin, and it isnât canon anyway, so odds are the general shampanier of this story rode a warhorse at some point or another in her illustrious career of being the general of an army!!!
this woman - general shampanier - became the queen, the wife of arguably coronaâs most historically important king, at a defining moment in coronan political and cultural history. tts and lost lagoon would both have us believe that this was a romantic, peaceful union between two people and two nations, but a few hundred years later - this. ladies donât fight. ladies donât belong in the war tent. ladies donât ride horses. cass takes these things for granted as facts of life. but general shampanier did all of those things, and she did them extremely well, and she became coronaâs queen.
WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT HAPPENED TO SHAMPANIERâS LEGACY?
how did corona go from a warrior-queen to this, in just a few hundred years? the most plausible answer is that the background radiation of sexism and, perhaps, anti-saporian bias was powerful enough to unravel any cultural impact she may have otherwise had, deep enough to render her an outlier, an aberration, an exception to the rule that women do not act like that.
even arguing here that âladyâ specifically means ânoblewomanâ doesnât add up - because, again, general shampanier became THE QUEEN. you donât get more noblewoman than that!
it feels unfair to judge this book with details added in season 3âsuch as the fact that shampanier is evidently not buried with herz der sonneâbut this total lack of a cultural impact from general shampanier, queen of corona, feels very telling even without taking those tidbits of extra-textual information into consideration.
and good god, saporia hasnât even properly entered the narrative yet! this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg!
*deep breath*
moving. on.
- continuing the theme of cass being a child larping as a guard recruit: she has a closetful of weapons which she maintains to the exacting standards of the handbook, but skips out on her job to âtrainâ in secret because evidently sheâll do ANYTHING to get on the guard except, you know, demonstrate a modicum of responsibility with the job she has now.
- moreover while i think cartography is a neat hobby for cassandra to have, it⌠doesnât make a lot of sense if itâs part of some nebulous plan to ~prove herself worthy~ of being on the guard. like, cartography straight up isnât a relevant skill, and while knowing the countryside could certainly be helpful for guard work in the event a criminal goes to ground in the wilderness, itâs like⌠itâs like if i applied for my current job, which is in software/tech support, by focusing an intensive amount of energy on teaching myself spanish. fluency in spanish is a useful skill and one that i could turn into an asset within the bounds of my current job, and it might be the deciding factor in me getting hired over someone else with equivalent experience and skill in computing and tech support (which is what the job involves) because, yes, some of our clients are ESL spanish-speakers. but itâsâthereâs a disconnect. if i were in a tight competition to get this job i would be pouring my time into sharpening my programming skill and polishing up a portfolio of relevant work. i wouldnât be devoting hours upon hours to learning spanish. right?
on the other handâif cartography is a hobby cassandra is passionate about, and sheâs 16 or 17 or 18 and she really likes the idea of being on the guard and really feels like she can do it and is bored with her dumb teenager job and desperate to get her dad to make her a guard without actually grasping what being a guard entails or the kind of work it involves or what she actually, realistically needs to do to have a shot, then⌠yeah, skipping work to play pretend with her weapons and convincing herself that her favorite hobby is totally going to prove to her dad that sheâs ready to be a guard!!! makes perfect sense. itâs no different from tts varian tunnel visioning so hard on this fantasy of âiâll surprise my whole village with hot running water and then my dad will be proud of me!!!â that he neglects basic safety measures and accidentally blows the whole system up. itâs not realistic. itâs a fantasy. itâs play.
- the only time cassandra brings up eugeneâs criminal past in tts is to mock him for being a loser. like. literally. the plot of fitzherbert pi kicks off when she calls him a âtwo-bit hoodâ and then when he fires back that flynn rider was a LEGEND!!! she fires back âkey word being was. and⌠what is it you do now?â and thatâs the only time she brings it up. granted this is 6-7 months into their relationship but⌠still, frankly i never got the impression that âformer thiefâ was anywhere close to the top of cassandraâs list of reasons for hating eugene. heâs just a dick. she doesnât like him because heâs a huge selfish jerk and she warms up to him after her starts behaving better.
- rapunzel goes to the ty lee school of flirting. just⌠laugh really hard at everything your crush says even if itâs not funny.
- despite my⌠intense and rapidly growing dislike for how cassandra is characterized in this book, her experiencing an actual physical reaction when rapunzel enters her space without permission is good. itâs about the boundaries. it has always been about the boundaries, and rapunzel crossing them, and the intractable messiness that arises from that.
- in fact: how many times does rapunzel cross boundaries in just this one little scene? oh, let me count the ways!
1 - when cassandra goes to shut the door, rapunzel ducks under her arm to enter the room. (eugene attempts to enter as well, but cass succeeds in blocking him.)
2 - missing or ignoring cassandraâs first âgo awayâ hint about only playing individual sports.
3 - missing or ignoring cassandraâs second âgo awayâ hint (âI let the silence get awkward.â)
4 - arranging cassandraâs invitation to the feast of elodie the great with the captain beforehand, so cass canât use him as an excuse to decline.
5 - missing or ignoring cassandraâs obvious discomfort with this news, taking cassandraâs attendance at the feast as a done deal, and skipping straight to asking cassandra to sit next to her.
6 - in response to cassandraâs very diplomatic signal of not wanting to do that (âI sit wherever Iâm assignedâ), she declares that sheâll make sure cassandra is assigned to sit next to her.
7 - touching without permission, which makes cassandra flinch.
all of which results in cassandra making what she considers to be a âtactical surrender.â and then shutting and locking her door, because she feels so rattled. as i recall, lagoon is actually a lot mellower on the boundary violations front - and rapunzel actually learns better over the course of the story, which is probably the biggest reason that lost lagoon is not canon and cannot be canon to tts - but it feels worth writing this sort of thing out because, well. it is one of the dead horses i keep clobbering.
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RenĂŠe Felice Smith was only six years old when she knew that she wanted to be an actress and storyteller, but people tried to dissuade her from her chosen career path, telling her it was an impossible goal. Luckily, Smithâs parents werenât among the naysayers, and today sheâs living her dream, starring as Intelligence Analyst Nell Jones on NCIS: Los Angeles (Sundays, 9 p.m., CBS) and co-authoring her first childrenâs book Hugo and the Impossible Thing with her creative partner Chris Gabriel.
So, when her French Bulldog Hugo was diagnosed with a brain tumor, Smith once again ignored the doubters and found the best vet possible to give Hugo a shot at life rather than listen to those who told her it was âjust truly impossible.â
âWe just knew we had to try for our little guy, and weâre so glad we did because he was with us for another two beautiful years, just grinning, growling and running around the yard like the wild man that he always was,â Smith tells Parade.com in this exclusive interview. âSo, weâre so glad we fought for him and advocated for him.â
When Hugo finally passed, Smith and Gabriel knew they had to tell his story to inspire others to conquer the seemingly impossible things in their life. So they wrote a story about a little dog named Hugo, who succeeded where others didnât even try as a result of his bravery, curiosity, teamwork and persistence.
âThe love is still here, and it needed someplace to go, so now we have the book and Hugoâs message that now we get to share with the world, which Iâm just so grateful that itâs become real,â Smith adds.
Related: NCIS: Los Angelesâ Daniela Ruah Speculates About Whether Kensi and Deeks Will Survive the Obstacles Ahead
This Sunday night, Smith will be back with some teamwork of her own when NCIS: Los Angeles returns with a new episode dealing with technology, which is something that Nell excels at. In the âImposter Syndromeâ episode, NCIS obtains a hard drive containing a realistic deep fake video of a deceased terrorist and must retrieve the dangerous technology behind it. However, when the teamâs comms are hijacked during their mission, they find that one of their own has been a victim of its potential.
And, spoiler alert, Smith says that in the May 23 Season 12 finale, Nell will finally be reunited with Hetty (Linda Hunt)! But how that will play out remains to be seen.
âLinda was essentially sidelined by the pandemic, but, very exciting, I do share a scene with her in our season finale and itâs one of the most memorable scenes of my time on NCIS: LA, so Iâm very grateful to have her back as my scene partner,â Smith says.
For more of what Smith had to say about her real-life Hugo and Hugo and the Impossible Thing, as well as more NCIS: Los Angeles scoop, read on.
With your background, a movie seems a more natural project than a book about Hugo. How did it turn into a book?
Chris, my other half, and I are lovers of all types of books. We grew up with childrenâs books and some of the most impactful stories and lessons we feel that weâve learned in our lives we learned in the pages of those books, so we really wanted to create this modern classic, a book that kids, or quite frankly, anyone nowadays could really benefit from.
Especially right now, weâre all dealing with our own version of the impossible thing, and weâre trying to find our way to the other side. What better way to inspire you and yours to go out and conquer whatever your impossible thing is than through a storybook following this spirited French Bulldog through the forest, kind of this yellow brick road, Wizard of Oz structure? He meets up with his forest friends and they end up helping him through the impossible thing. Itâs really a story about bravery, curiosity, teamwork and persistence. We wanted to encourage that in our readers, both young and young at heart.
Tell us about Hugo and his battle with his brain tumor.
Hugo was diagnosed with a brain tumor and we were truly beside ourselves. It was an out-of-body experience. He was a feisty, curious, wild man who was quite literally sidelined by this potentially terminal disease, and we just knew that we didnât want to give up on him, and he wasnât giving up on himself. Every step of the way, we would say out loud, âHugo, just let us know, buddy, do you want to keep going?â And he met us with this enthusiasm for the process every step of the way. And that is truly why we kept going.
Did Hugo instill in you the belief that the impossible might be possible? Or did you already have that?
Thatâs interesting. I think the process really showed us that if you ask the questions, oftentimes the people who ask the questions are the people who find the answers, and this process really reiterated that. He inspired us to advocate for him, because animals are helpless on their own, but we could do something about it. We could ask the questions; we could be his voice. Iâm just so thankful that he was always this bright light that had this insatiable curiosity for life. He definitely imbued that in me, and I know he imbued that in Chris. He did inspire us to help him conquer his impossible thing. If he didnât have the fight in him, if he wasnât such a spirited dog, I donât know if that wouldâve happened, but he was singular in a way. I reference him as my canine son, because he was. He was my baby.
On NCIS: Los Angeles, Nell is torn these days. She feels Hetty tricked her into taking the job when she said she didnât want it, but she has the support of her team and also Kilbride. So how do you think sheâs feeling these days?
She really is at a crossroads in her life. I think a lot of young women find themselves at this point, where they are very good at their job, but is it the job that they always saw themselves in? Is it the job they saw their future selves thriving in? I think for Nell, sheâs really questioning whether she wants this to be her story, and in the process, sheâs really finding her voice this season. Thereâs a scene with Sam Hanna, LL Cool Jâs character, that recently aired, where she spells out her frustrations in her position as de facto operations manager and how sheâs struggling to keep the plates spinning. And she tells him that he needs to get on her team. It was a really stern moment for Nell.
I donât think weâve really ever seen that. Actually, LL Cool J and I were talking about what a different flavor this scene is bringing to the show because Nell usually is quick with a quip, but she doesnât often drop the hammer in this way. And this season, we really do get to see Nell drop this hammer, stand in her power, and let people know that she needs help and sheâs questioning this process.
I think thatâs the side of being the operations manager that we didnât really get to see very much with Hetty because she had everything under control. So, itâs kind of fun and new to see the person, who may be greener in the position, find her way in this new position of leadership.
How much has COVID affected what weâre seeing this season? Is that why we donât see more of Linda Hunt, to keep her safe? And I noticed there are fewer people in scenes, especially in ops.
Youâre absolutely right. Our show did an incredible job managing the crisis that was the pandemic and continues to be the pandemic. We are tested five days a week. Our crew was incredible in keeping everyone safe. The was goal to keep everyone safe, and we were, in turn, able to create 18 episodes of television, which is incredible.
You were just picked up for your 13th season, so it isnât over yet, but when you look back, what will you take away from it?
Oh, my goodness. Weâre a family, you know, but itâs been a mini-film school for me as well. My time at NCIS: LA has been educational. I just pinch myself how lucky I am that I was able to quite frankly lock onto a job like this for so long. In our industry, stability as an actor is not something you often experience. So, to have this group of people who Iâve grown to love and really consider extensions of my family, Iâm just so grateful for the time. I feel like Iâve been a student. I feel like I went to school all over again for 10 years.
With Linda being this master in her craft, I canât even quantify what I learned from her and most of it happens when weâre waiting to do our scene. Itâs in those moments that I hear the stories from her childhood and the stories from early in her career, just these nuggets of wisdom that I have now in my little carpet bag.
From your work outside NCIS: LA, it seems as if maybe long-term, youâre more interested in being behind the camera and writing, producing, directing.
Itâs interesting, often as actors, weâre part of someone elseâs story, weâre carrying out someone elseâs vision, but Iâve always been a storyteller. As a kid, I would essentially write my own little plays and perform them in the yard and direct my friends and family, my sister, namely, in those plays. And for as long as I remember, Iâve always wanted to tell stories. So, yeah, that is where I see myself heading in the future.
Youâve said that you knew at age six that this is what you want to do. And you were lucky that your parents supported you.
Oh, 100 percent. I wouldnât be standing here today if they hadnât instilled confidence in me and in my creativity. They really created an environment that fostered out-of-the-box thinking, and Iâm so grateful for that.
Which takes us full circle back to the impossible just might be possible.
Itâs so true. If youâre curious enough and brave enough and you have the support, obviously, of your community, I think thatâs the missing piece in a lot of these puzzles. Itâs really the support because you canât get there alone. No one can. The one-woman show does not exist. Itâs an ensemble; itâs a production.
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Hello there! I hope you are fine. I jist found you and I need to say, since I'm gay for these girls I'm absolutely delighted! If match-ups are open, I'd like to have a romantic matchup!
So uh I'm 17, INFP, a pisces and a pansexual, I use she/her pronouns. My love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch.
For the hobbies; I love watching anime, literature, myths, listening and observing people, comforting people or just listen their rantings, reading, listening music and singing.... I am not that good at gardening and stuff but sometimes I do this as well...
For my personality, I'm that mom-friend that every friend group has. Need some painkillers? BAM! Need some pads? Do you need 1 or 50? You are hurt? Don't worry I have an aid kit. Your stomach or head hurts? Honey, don't you worry I have a various kind of herb teas with myself.
If someone needs a shoulder to cry on, that person is me. If somebody hurts my friends I go like "So you are saying that he/she/they broke your heart? Okay give me the names and addresses. Now."I would deal with them and then say "So do I need to break some more faces?"
But I'm actually very kind and smiley. I'm the kind of person who smiles at strangers, hold the door for them, talk with a waiter casually and smile at them as well. I never judge someone for their nationality, skin color, language, sexuality etc. And If I see someone bully another person for these reasons or another one, I stand against the bully and if needed I beat them. Yet, I'm one hell of an insecure and anxious girl and I bite my lips a lot and I also pick at the skin of my fingers when I'm absolutely anxious and always carry band-aids to cover them because a few people in my family( not my parents though) made me feel bad about them but still, I don't like showing this vulnerable state of mine to everyone so I bottle up everything.
I may seem like an cold and serious person at first meeting but over time I'm the biggest goofball and crackhead you can ever see! Sometimes I'm a bit sarcastic and tease my closest friends a lot- ofc I never offend them. I know what they are insecure about( if they are, WHICH isn't allowed on my watch.) and my friends always tell me that I kinda flirt with them but I never realize and When I actually try to flirt, I can't? But I also know how to be serious as well.
My ideal date would probably be an indoor one. Like cooking together, watching a movie or reading a book or just cuddling while some soft music plays in the background.
For my likes and dislikes, I HATE the unnecessary hate. Like, to everyone and everything. Be it black people, asians, LGBTQ+ people, animals, like anyone living! I believe that everyone's life( except a few shits' đĄđ¤) is a gift so I seriously don't understand hate. I also hate eggplant since I have an allergy and the last time I ate it, I did vomit for 3 daysđ¤Ž
For the likes, I guess I cannot really pinpoint something but I love books and every meal with chickenđ¤¤! I also love cleaning and tidying up too!
That was soooo long and I apologize for that! I didn't want to include more since I literally poured everything about me here đ
Thanks a lot in advance and I hope you have a great day! Bye byeđ
I match you with...
Toru Hagakure
You'd meet on a public bus. The two of you sat next to each other, minding each others business. However, Toru noticed you picking at your fingers. She lightly tapped your shoulder and offered you a napkin to cover it with. You kindly declined, telling her that you had some bandaids but she insisted you have the napkin just incase. In the end you thanked her and took the napkin.
After that, Toru started some small talk. Of course, you went along with it. The conversation went very well. She was a pretty funny girl who had you laughing a lot. Your interaction went so smooth, from afar it would look like you've been friends for ages. When she had to get off, she asked for your number. You happily gave it to her and she waved you goodbye.
You and Toru would message and meet up with each other often. If you said you didn't fancy the girl you would be lying. She was funny, nice, and cheerful! Who wouldn't? It started out as a small crush. But of course, it turned into you thinking about her 24/7. You had even started to drop everything just to hang out with her. In return, she would do the same for you.
Your other friends would tease you for this. To them, it was pretty obvious you liked Toru more than a friend. Your friends also noticed how she was always talking about you. She would try to message or be with you every second of the day. She'd also buy you little gifts saying they reminded her of you. Hell, she would even leave lingering touches. They told you all of this, wanting you to just confess. But, you would always tell them that you probably didn't deserve a girl like her and how she was just being kind.
This went on for almost two years. Two years of hanging out with her every single day. Two years of hiding your feelings for this girl. Your friends had stopped trying to get you to confess, thinking this was a hopeless situation. But Toru's friends on the other hand had just started. Mina had came up with a dramatic idea for Toru to confess. The invisible girl obviously didn't want to go through with the plan, saying she'd confess someday. But that didn't stop Mina.
One night while you were studying, you heard a noise from your window. You quietly opened the window, expecting it to be a bird or something. When you looked out, you saw Toru and her friends outside in cheerleading outfits. Toru was clearly embarrassed as Ochako put on some cheesy love song on from a speaker. They proceeded to perform a quick dance. In all honesty, it was pretty bad. But you'd be lying if you said it wasn't cute. At the end of the dance, Mina had shouted that Toru wanted to take you out someday. Giggling, you shouted back that you'd love to go out sometime.
Although that was extremely cringy and cheesy, it was funny and made for a fucking fantastic story to tell.
Once you finally made it offical, Toru became very clingy. She loved holding your hand and hugging you when you're not expecting it. After long and hard days, she'd pamper your face in kisses. On sleepless nights, you'd cuddle with her and read her mythical stories until you both fell asleep.
She adores how reliable you are. She often feels like a background character in her own life and doubts her abilities to become a hero. You're quick to comfort her and make sure she knows her worth. Of course, she does the same for you. Checking up on you, complimenting you, comforting you, etc. Toru is basically your personal cheerleader for life. When you're insecure or anxious, leave it to your loving girlfriend to reassure you and kiss your worries away!
She started carrying bandaids around herself for you. Even though you always have some, she brings extra just in case. When you started dating her though, you'd pick at your fingers less since she always wanted to hold hands. Whenever you're biting your lip, she taps your shoulder and asks you for a kiss.
When you accidentally flirt with her she gets really giggly and nervous. She never brought it up cause she didn't want to embarrass you so she just took it. It's so cute that you started to flirt with her on purpose. Once she realized you were doing it on purpose, she playfully hit your arm and said something along the lines of, "YOU CAN'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT [NAME]!"
Sometimes you and her lay down in her bed together while she rambles about her day. It's really relaxing for both of you. She likes to talk a lot and you like to listen. It's perfect! Also it's an excuse to hear her beautiful voice.
She started picking up on your motherly acts. Always providing everything people need with little to no hesitation, being the shoulder for her friends to cry on, etc. Toru really looks up to you and can say with confidence that you make her an overall better person.
Your playlist consist of many love songs. I don't make the rules. Also she encourages you to sing all the time. She loves hearing your voice. And when you two sing together? AAAAAAAA It's very cute and adorable. Everyone you meet is 100% at least a little jealous of your relationship.
Baking dates are her favorite! She's obviously not the best at baking but those dates are always filled with laughter and smiles. On those dates, you two try to make loads of desserts. Cookies, Cakes, Cinnamon Buns, etc. You both know it's not healthy but neither of you really care. The kitchen always ends up messy after these days. Once you and Toru decide it's time to call it a night, the day ends with midnight cuddles whilst a movie plays in the background.
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1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)
I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2.Â
3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk Iâm excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing đ)
4. What is your favorite word? I answered with âconniptionâ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know thatâs not the question, Iâm just saying random shit now.
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly donât remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.
7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirtÂ
8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian
9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room
10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.
11. Favorite age youâve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad.Â
12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister đ¤ˇââď¸
13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.
14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes itâs the default, donât judge me)
15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so đ
16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley KiyokoÂ
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!â
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, youâre talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly donât know what Iâd do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home.Â
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way thatâs just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me đ
23. What is one unique thing youâre afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, Iâve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please donât judge me.
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 wonât go far, but itâs something.
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. Iâm going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, Iâm indecisive.Â
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. âBe brand-specificâ it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you donât drink booze thereâs something you can figure out⌠so whatâs it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I donât want to copy her.
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.
29. What is your favorite expletive? Itâs still fuck
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Donât worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So whatâs the one thing youâre going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know thatâs lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I donât know if Iâd change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, letâs give those lesbians have a happy ending!
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit⌠you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, letâs get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didnât think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh thatâs a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady.Â
34. What was your last dream about? I canât remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! Iâm sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol
35. Are you a goodâŚ.[insert anything youâd like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah
37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!
38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.
39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)
42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know theyâre in the same division. Itâs tough. (Please donât ask me why these teams)
43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.
44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated?Â
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have âlesbian handsâ and I think thatâs code for man hands so maybe that hahaha
46. Are you reliable? I try to be!
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)
48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.
50. What is the most unusual conversation youâve ever had? Oh god. I donât even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations.Â
In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.
51. Are you a good liar? Hmm Iâm okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people Iâm serious when Iâm actually joking. But I donât like actually lying if itâs not just teasing someone.Â
52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.
53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.
54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.
55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no
56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer.Â
58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I donât know enough about cars tbh
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes Iâll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.
60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! DefinitelyÂ
61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! đŚ
64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? Theyâre pretty cool. Just tiny little humans.Â
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:
In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and Iâd love to make pasta from scratch sometime.
#read up @raginage#this is what you get#responding to these out of spite took far longer than i thought lol
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Survey #444
âthe monster you made is wearing the crown / iâll be the king, and youâll be the clownâ
Do you take off from school, or work for your birthday? Ha, I used to try to talk Mom into letting me stay home from school... It only sometimes worked. Have you ever created âopen whenâ letters for someone? No. That'd be cute for an s/o, though. What is the best thing about being in the relationship youâre in right now or about being single? Not having to fear my partner leaving because of the struggles I'm going through. Not having to worry about not being enough for another person, because I'm not even enough for myself. Do you have a favourite painting? Not by a historical artist, no, but there is a piece by a deviantART artist called "Denialism" (by NukeRooster/Tatchit, if you're interested) that I adore so much I've actually gotten her permission to get it tattooed one day when I can afford a brilliant artist to do it. What are some of the best life hacks you know? /shrug What makes you smile without fail? MARK LAUGHING laj;sdkafjwlk;erj Do you know what youâll be getting your loved ones for the holidays this winter? No clue. That's still a whiles off. What is your biggest short-term goal (within the next month)? Just lose a decent amount of weight for a month's time. What will your next tattoo be of? It depends on what cash I have available, really. As much as it sucks, I think my next tat is a whiles off because I just have more pressing things to pay for. Has anyone very close to you ever died? Besides pets, the closest human to me that's ever died was Jason's mom. If you were throwing your significant other/best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? Uh, Frieza-related, obviously. Do you feel prepared for the apocalypse? I don't believe in the apocalypse in the biblical sense of it being determined by an ultimate power, so this isn't something I really think about. Whenever humanity ends, it ends. I don't have a say, so I may as well not obsess over it. Do you think you will have children naturally, adopt, or forgo having children altogether? I'm not having kids, but if I did, I know that either I'd have to give birth to them or my hypothetical wife would for me to feel *properly* connected to them as a mother should. Oh, or if my male partner had a kid from a previous relationship, but I'd have to be REALLY in love with him to feel like that child is also my own. Do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? Oh god no. Do you believe in angels? No, but rather just spirits. Is there anything in your past that you used to regret, but now you donât? Hm, maybe? Does your knee hurt? My knees always hurt. Has anyone ever called you sexy? Yes. Do you like raisins? omg nooooo What is your favorite bug? Butterflies! :') Do you like Scrabble? Sure, it's fun for a board game. Do you have a printer? Yes. What is your favorite food? Cheeseburgers or pizza, probably. I know, so American. Have you ever overheard a conversation you werenât supposed to? Yes. Do you like ants? They are very fascinating when you really think about it, but I still find them incredibly annoying. Did you like the movie Antz? I loved it as a kid. Have you ever drank goat milk? No, I don't believe so. Whatâs your favorite video game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Do you like cats? I love kitties!!! :') Are goldfish your favorite fish? No. I think my favorite is probably the lionfish. Do you like vanilla pudding? No. I only like chocolate pudding. What is your opinion on gay marriage? I 100% support it and would fight to the death for it. What is your opinion on gay adoption? Don't even fucking look at me if you see a problem with a parentless child finding a home with two people in love. Who was the last person you had a crush on? Sara. Whatâs the most expensive piece of clothing you own? I have zero clue. Why do you drive the car you have right now? I don't have my own car. Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Omg yes and it sucks. Are you friends with your neighbors? No. What is your current desktop picture? One of my favorite pictures of my late pup, Teddy. Whatâs the coolest thing youâve seen out the window of an airplane? Mountains! Does your neighbor have any pets? *shrug* Have you ever swam in a mountain lake? No, but that sounds VIBIN'. Has a cat/dog ever thrown up on your bed? alksdjflk;a;jdfalwe yes Have you ever had a concussion? One or two. Do you know anyone who has a pet gecko? Not currently, I think? I want a fat-tailed gecko, though. :( Would you ever go bear hunting? I wouldn't dare hunt ANY animal. Have you ever seen two movies at the theater in a row? I have not. How many teenagers do you know who have babies? I know no teen personally that has a child, but there were some pregnant students in high school. If you could keep your parents or trade them for other parents, which would you pick? I would NEVER change my parents. Is there a piggy bank in the room youâre in? It's not a "piggy" bank, per se, but my sister got me a skull one that she says is for my tattoo funds. :') How many sets of twins do you know? Two, off the very top of my head. If you have younger siblings, are you very protective of them? Yes. No one fucks with her for as long as I live. If you have older siblings, are they very protective of you? Not especially. Who is your favorite Disney Channel person? Uhhh, maybe Raven Symone? How many pets do you have? Just two. Do you think you will be successful in life? No. :/ What do you have pierced? My earlobes, twice, and my bottom lip. I have been dyinnnnggg for some new ones lately. :/ Does techno annoy you as much as it annoys me? No, I actually enjoy quite a bit of techno. Whatâs your comfort food? Ice cream. Do you like paranormal stuff? YES. Do you have a favorite stuffed toy? Rebel, my adorable meerkat plush from Jason, and Brownie, my moose from Cabela's. Whatâs the most exciting project you were given? In a way, my senior project since you got to choose your own topic, but I dreaded the presentation. Do you have a good sense of direction? Not at ALL. What are your favorite colour for a cat? Orange! If you had to live your life carrying a shield, what would its design be? This is gonna sound super, super cheesy, but probably a heart to symbolize how love should and could block the effects of hate and general evil and that we should pursue that instead of violence. Out of all the cancers, which one do you think needs to find a cure first? Oh god, they all do. If I had to pick one though, it'd be one of the inevitably fatal kinds, like pancreatic. What are your general afterthoughts when youâve finished a book? I feel accomplished for actually reading to a story's completion. How many pairs of glasses (not sunglasses) have you owned? Two, I think? What color is your flash-drive? Hot pink. Have you ever built a sand castle? Yeah. How many houses have you lived in? Six. One I have no memory of. Do you shut off the water while you brush your teeth? Yes. What video game should everybody play at least once? Amnesia: A Machine for PIgs for the symbolism. It blows my mind how most horror fans hate it; it's like they totally miss the point. 100 years from now, what modern things will people look back on and say, âWTF?â Hopefully things like homophobia, racism, misogyny, concepts like those. What is impossible to understand until it happens to you? Mental illness, to name only one thing. What fictional food item from a television show, cartoon, movie, or video game have you always wanted to try? Hm. There's a lot that has looked super good, really. Whatâs something that gets much more hate than it deserves? Nickelback, lmao. What phrases or sayings drive you crazy? "Everything happens for a reason," "it could be worse/some people have it worse," "it's all part of God's plan," "just think positive"... a lot of stuff. Do you have a deviantART? I do, even though Eclipse made it fucking suck. I only really stay because I cling to the dying hope of being at least somewhat successful on there, and I enjoy keeping tabs on the artwork of the hundreds of people I watch there. Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa, even if he doesn't last long in the movie. :''''''( Have you ever been to Germany? No, but I'd love to! What is your favorite holiday? Christmas. Have you ever been ice skating? No. The blades on the skates scare me. Have you ever taken a karate class? No. Do you have any nieces or nephews? I have a lot, if you include my half-siblings' kids. Do you own an Xbox? Nah, I've always been a PlayStation gal. Would you date someone whoâs well-known for cheating? Nope. Would you break up with someone your parents didnât approve of? No. I'd consider their reasons, but ultimately, it's about me loving the person. Could you be in a relationship without sex? Yeah, sure. It's not ideal, but I mean if the other person is just very opposed, I'm certainly not forcing them. Emotional intimacy is more important to me, anyway. Have you ever been âfriendzonedâ? Yep. :') Briefly, anyway. Jason tried for my sake, but it was VERY short-lived by no one's fault but my own because all I know how to do is fuck shit up when it comes to him. Which âfamous coupleâ is your favorite? LOOK Mark and Amy are FUCKIN GEMS Have you ever âdestroyedâ a relationship? Pretty fucking much. Are you the âdominantâ or the âsubmissiveâ part in a relationship? I'm submissive by nature. Do you think Valentineâs Day is overrated? No, I think it's a cute holiday. Which do you feel is worse of the two to smoke: weed or tobacco? Well, weed has more carcinogens, but at least it has actual health benefits. Who did you last see that you havenât seen in ages? *shrug* Are you photogenic at all? God no.
#survey#surveys#random questions#lyrics: ''necessary evil'' by motionless in white (ft. jonathan davis)
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Friday 28/5/21: Media Recommendations #4
Its Friday again, so that means I gotta nerd out about things I've had on my mind lately and recommend other people go enjoy them too.
Today's topics of interest will be:
Manga/Anime: Fullmetal Alchemist
Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise
Music: Kiss from a Rose; Seal
In past weeks, I have picked my recommendations based on shows/music etc that are not as mainstream as I think should be, hence I am recommending them with the intention of increasing the audience. But this week, I am sure these three pieces of media are very widely known already. And its not wrong to like popular things, they got popular for a reason. So this week I'm gonna gush about why I like these popular things.
Fullmetal Alchemist (Fullmetal Alchemist)
In the vaguely European-esque country of Amestris, those gifted by natural or acquired powers can reshape the world around them using the power of Alchemy. In this world, magic users, called Alchemists, are publicly known and acknowledged. The government even employs many State Alchemists, who receive funding for their specific alchemic research, in exchange for their cooperation during military conflicts.
Fullmetal Alchemist has one of the most well put together and interesting fantasy settings in all of fiction (in my opinion). It is both medieval fantasy but also late 1800s europe, and this helps create a world where magic has very strict metaphysical and political rules.
The story within this world focuses on the brothers Edward and Alphonse Elric, who become the youngest known State Alchemists as part of their quest to restore Edward's limbs and Alphonse's entire body which were lost to a tragic alchemic experiment gone wrong. Ed has classic napoleon complex, and detests anyone looking down on him, but he often has more than enough bite to back up his bark. Al is much more calm and collected, but despite his soul inhabiting an imposing suit of armour, he is the younger brother and often emotionally immature. The two have an interesting dynamic, where the older brother is small and snappy, but still feels responsible and protective over his towering, intimidating younger brother who speaks with a very child-like voice, but could easily knock you out.
FMA is not a very complicated story, but it has depth. Its rich world, with a variety of interesting and endearing characters, make for a very engaging time. It is a story of growth, trust, bonds, and rebuilding what was once lost, while maintaining what you are still working on.
There are 3 ways to experience this story. I have gone back and read the original Manga, and if you prefer Manga as your story form, it is a very fun read. There are two anime adaptations, one that was in production and finished before the manga was complete, and another that came a few years later. The former has a different ending to the latter, and I can only recommend the latter, Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood, seeing as I never watched the original series. But I have heard on good authority that both are worth the watch, so it is up to you. I can't really decide on a definitive favourite anime, but Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is easily always top 3.
Videogame: Monster Hunter Rise
Sometimes, the rich lore and story are what makes or breaks consumable media, but sometimes, all you need is pure stupid fun. Monster Hunter is a series built on a simple premise that does not need much fluffing to be enjoyed. You are a hunter: a very skilled and powerful warrior who weilds, often oversized, powerful weapons of many types, and it is your duty to go out and hunt monsters: powerful creatures who can co-exist with the world but on a case by case basis, put the people and wildlife around them in harm's way.
Monster Hunter Rise is the newest game in the series, and is on the Nintendo Switch. Many players I've talked to have said that this is the easiest game to get into, but that does not make MHR an simple, boring game, and top-level play is definitely a grind. The draw of Monster Hunter is that every "level" is a boss battle, and that battle takes place over a huge map. In this game, the hunter is tasked with finding the monster, and then using their own gear, plus the help of nature around them, to incapacitate the target monster.
This game has fourteen weapons to choose from, and using each is like playing a completely different action game. They can be grouped as Heavy, Light, and Technical Weapons, but the truth is, all weapons are unique, and depending on which specific model of a weapon you use, they can be even more unique within that weapon. Monster Hunter games are RPGs, but rather than gaining EXP, and stat changes indicating growth, Hunters use bits of the monsters they've hunted to make themselves stronger.
Both new weapons and armour require monster parts, and you're never guaranteed to get all the parts you need from one hunt. So the game encourages you fight the same monsters multiple times, learning patterns, honing your skills. When you have made your ideal weapons and armour, you have gotten significantly better at hunting those monsters. Monster Hunter Rise introduces Wire Bugs, a resource with a variety of uses ranged from spiderman-ing up and across mountains, to lending themselves as super moves for your weapons. Breath of the Wild held a place in my heart for ages because of how good it feels to traverse, but honestly, Monster Hunter Rise's wall-running and grapple-hooking blow BotW out of the water. Its just fun to move! If you enjoy action games and boss fights, Monster Hunter Rise is 100% a game you should check out.
Music: Kiss From a Rose; Seal
In my very deep Spotify library, there's a lot of music I will just sometimes skip. Not because I don't like it, but because I need to be in the right mood. But there's also a select handful of songs where I will never skip because I will always be in the mood to shout those lyrics, no matter when or where. Seal's Kiss from a Rose is one of those songs.
The song was originally part of the soundtrack for Batman Forever, but it is not a song explicitly about that movie. I didn't even know this myself until a while after I was obsessed with this song. Kiss from a Rose is an emotional, almost melancholy song with a very hard to place meaning. Seal has said it could've been about a difficult relationship, but I feel it is up to the listener how they interpret it.
The instrumentals are subtle yet powerful, soothing yet exhilarating. It is just a very engaging song and the lyrics are just hard to not sing along to. If you've heard it, you know. If you haven't, take a listen and meet your favourite song this week.
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#blog#blog post#media recommendations#anime recommendations#manga recommendation#videogame recommendations#music recommendation#music#anime#manga#videogame#fullmetal alchemist#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#monster hunter rise#monster hunter#kiss from a rose#seal
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Name: Qiu
Writing Blog URL(s):
@juyeonzz
@the32ndbeat
Age: 19
What fandom(s) do you write for?Â
The Boyz and NCT + WayVÂ
When did you post your first piece?
I posted something way back in September 2019 but then went on a long 9 month hiatus and came back on June 3rd 2020!
Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?
I write anything except smut and certain themes like disorders or abuse because Iâm not too comfortable writing it yet and I donât want to write it wrong and potentially anger or offend people.Â
Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?
I write x readers!
Why did you start writing on Tumblr?Â
I started writing because Iâve always loved to write and have been doing so since I was little. I got introduced to the writing community on tumblr when I was just aimlessly surfing one day and I remember reading the âTo All The Boys I Loved Beforeâ series written by @theboyz-engup and was just so inspired that I made my own The Boyz blog to begin writing. I got into NCT sometime during my hiatus so when I came back from it, I started to write for NCT too.
What inspires you to write?Â
The feedback most definitely, shows and books Iâve read and watched too but mostly feedback.
What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?
I like writing angst although most of my works tend to be more fluffy...
What do you hope your readers take away from your work?Â
Ah, my works are generally pretty simple but I guess Iâd want them to just get immersed in the story like how I was as I was writing it!
What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?Â
I just watch Netflix or browse through Youtube, sometimes watching videos other times listening to music to find inspo.
What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?Â
My favourite (published) work so far would probably be âWedding bellsâ on my tbz account and my Doyoung timestamp at 11:11am on my nct account! My most successful generally would be a Sunwoo timestamp at 11:22pm.
Who is your favorite person to write about?Â
For NCT + WayV, Iâd have to say Doyoung. For The Boyz, I would say maybe Jacob?
Do you think thereâs a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?Â
Yeah, I guess so. I think when we write fanfiction, we already have an idea of what sort of personality our idols have and we keep that in mind when we write for them but for completely original prose, you create your own characters so in a way, you have to think a little bit deeper for how you want your OC to act or talk.
What do you think makes a good story?Â
Sweet and simple description rather than ones that are overly detailed? A story with good flow is good!
What is your writing process like?
Hm, I usually start off with choosing a song on youtube to listen to as I write or Iâd have a movie or show playing in the background ( usually itâs Friends these days ) then Iâd start writing. I tend to write only at night or have more motivation at night, Iâm not too sure why either.Â
Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?
Sure, why not? Itâd be interesting but also a little difficult to start to imagine a completely original character in the story since Iâd be very used to thinking of the idol who was previously a character in the story.
What tropes do you love, and what tropes canât you stand?
I love the enemies to lovers trope! I think itâs really interesting because you start off hating each other and itâs cool to see how that gradually progresses to love. I donât have a lot of tropes I hate but Iâve never really been able to write about werewolves or vampires? Itâs just not my thing at all.Â
How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?
Oh, it means everything to me! Sometimes when Iâm down or unmotivated, I always go back to checking out reblogs or kind things people have said about my works and Iâd feel like writing again. Itâs like feeling rejuvenated and gaining inspiration to continue with my wips.
What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?
I wonât consider myself very successful ^^â although I must say that Iâm growing faster than I expected. I think itâs probably because I do update consistently but Iâm not sure if thatâs going to change once I start school.
Nationality: Singaporean
Languages: English and Mandarin Chinese
Star Sign: Cancer sun ( Not sure if this is relevant but Leo moon and Libra rising too!)
MBTI: INTJ-T
Favorite color: Black
Favorite food: Chocolate cake!
Favorite movie: Spy or Venom ( I canât choose )
Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookies and cream
Favorite animal: Wolf
Go-to karaoke song:Â Love Story by Taylor Swift?Â
Dream job (whether you have a job or not)?
Professor or an investigative journalist ( Might consider aiming for medical school after uni though⌠)Â
Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?Â
Tea! I really like green tea or jasmine tea.
If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?Â
Telepathy
If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?Â
1940s
If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?Â
Yeah, I guess I would. There are a lot of things Iâd like to change.
Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?Â
Oh man, like a 100 chicken-sized horses for sure. A horse-sized chicken? Iâd die with one peck.
 If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?Â
That one loner kid probably⌠Iâm generally pretty quiet in school.
Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? Nope, not really.Â
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?Â
Iâm quite content here in Singapore but Iâd love to be able to live in the USA, New York or in the UK, London for once in my life.
Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?
I am afraid of the dark.
Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?
Yeah, and I donât really understand why.
Do you think art can be a medium for change?
Sure, it can be! I think art is sometimes able to tell stories that canât be told verbally. It moves people in a way and I think it can be used to truly express the artistâs message to their audience.
Do you ever feel there are times when youâre writing for others, rather than yourself?
Honestly, sometimes when Iâm unmotivated but mostly no. I love whatever Iâm writing when Iâm writing it for the most part.
Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?
No? At least not that I know of.
Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?
They do but they donât know my URL.
What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?
Thank you so much for believing in me and appreciating my work! I am grateful for every single one of you guys and you are all my motivation to keep writing and produce better written works. Without you all, writing is somewhat duller and hearing that you guys like the work I put out means the world to me. I love you guys!!
Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?
Donât be! We all start somewhere and taking that first step may be a little daunting at first but I promise that what follows is going to be magical. Youâre going to be able to gain a lot of inspiration and friends, you are going to be able to greatly improve your writing but whatâs best is that youâll feel like you are now part of a writing family on tumblr! Do not be afraid of showcasing your works because there is always bound to be an audience for it and even if your writing style doesnât suit someone, thereâs definitely another group of readers who will love every single piece of work you publish ^^
Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?
Nope! I hope I never do.
Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?
YES and I love every single one of them. Thank you to @jenocakes @atbzkingdom @chaoticdeobi @hae-sicheng @moondustaeil @ihearttbz @badwithten @glossyjaems @lovely-kpop-writer @jopping-to-my-kpop! There are a few more but these are just the ones that pop up in my mind first.
Pick a quote to end your interview with: Iâm horrible with quotes but.. âMy philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twiceâ by Newt Scamander! Itâs one of my favourites since I find that I worry a lot and doubt myself too often so thinking about this makes me calmer.
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Animes Watched Since Quarentine Started ~
So I just sat down and realized... I have developed a problem XâDÂ BUT it could be worse! So I figured I would share for those looking for something new to watch! Also, what have yâall been watching!?
Full list below the line + reviews! * No spoilers, I promise! I wouldnât do you dirty like that! *Â ;-*
1. KakeguruiÂ
This show took me by surprise, I had no idea gambling could be so thrilling! Plus let us take a moment to appreciate the facial expressions animated in this show! Beautiful, just beautiful. Beware though, this anime gets dark, and sick, and you will definitely forget to breath at times. It is a thorough joy.
2. Steins;Gate
3. Steins;Gate 0
Honestly, Steins;Gate + Stains; Gate 0 is one of the best animes I have EVER seen. Legit. Also, It is one of the best stories of time travel I have ever encountered. The way it is explained in the anime is brilliant! Compelling, thrilling, emotional, so much amazingness. I watched in chronological order instead of season order which I really enjoyed. Also one of the most moving anime endings I have seen. All the characters you will fall in love with, and their character development is one heck of a ride. A must watch, 100%.
4. Fullmetal Alchemist
This was a nostalgia back flash for me! It was been years and I felt like reliving it all over again. Which I am glad I did, cus boy was there a lot of heavy themes and topics I did not pick up on when I was younger! One of the biggest themes was this existential undertone throughout the whole show that explored the ideas of humanity, authority, morality and race.
5. Fullmetal Alchemist Conqueror of Shamballa
A must follow up to the original FMA series. It just ties the whole story up in a pretty bow. I remember when I first saw this movie, it was my first encounter this the idea of multiple dimensions and it just blew my mind. The whole this felt so exciting and surreal, and I loved the addition of our timeline playing a part. Watching FMA + Movie over again leaves me a bit torn on which is better, Brotherhood or first adaptation. I think both should be watched for a full understanding of the lore. The first anime series definitely has some holes and details missing, but itâs also so nostalgic and they really give you a better development of characters and feels than Brotherhood does, as they rush through that to get back to the main plot.... so grab some popcorn and watch both and just enjoy the ride :)
6. Angels of Death
This anime has such a unique premise!! And morally it is just all sorts of twisted, which I love! The music is fantastic in it and all the characters you encounter are very unique and fun... itâs dark though, donât get me wrong.. and twisted. BUT a fun ride if you are down for that kind of adventure!
7. Another
WHOOOO BUDDY! If you want to go on a journey THIS IS ONE! Itâs a mind bending premise and each episode ends in so much suspense. I literally couldâve watched the whole thing in one day. This anime is like a jar of Pringles, once you start you just canât stop!
8. Death ParadeÂ
This anime gets the prize for the most misleading opening ever! XâD But it is such a BOP Please watch if you can. The anime overall is a joy, its very thought provoking and touches on the darker topics of death and mortality. Who is really good? Who is evil? Where do they seamlessly blend into each other? Besides the premise being so unique and tantalizing, the artwork is breathtaking! The background and environments the characters exist in are gorgeous. As an artist and a writer, I appreciate this anime on so many levels.
9. Sekkou Boys
Oh god, this anime is a joy. Just pure, clean joy T.T The episode are VERY short so you could finish the whole thing in an evening. But if you are an artist, a Renaissance history lover, or a J-pop fan, you will especially appreciate this joy of a creation. Watch it for your soul, you will feel better afterwards.
10. Kokoro Connect
This is a very intriguing coming of age story to say the least. There is an element of fantasy/science fiction that comes into the picture that stirs all sorts of trouble for our dear group of friends. It makes you really reflect your own intra- and interpersonal relationships and how we perceive and interact with one another. Overall a fun trip to go on.
11. Occultic; Nine
HOLD ONTO YOUR HORSES CUS THIS ANIME IS FAST! Omgsh, if you watch in Japanese like I did, get ready to have tired eyes cus the pace and speech of this anime is like nothing I have encountered before, but it is soooo much fun! It is mystery combined with the supernatural. Itâs one of those animes where there is a lot of characters involved and some how everyone is connected in some way, like Baccano! if you have seen it. I would say to watch this AFTER you watch Steins;Gate if you have any interests because it is written by the same writers and there is little things that reference back to Steins;Gate which are really fun to pick up on.
12. School-Live!
I didnât know what to expect when I started this series. It is not the kind of art style I am normally drawn towards but I am soo glad I watched. The characters are all really fun and cute! Especially the puppy!! <3 You deal with psychological stress as well as a nice mix of slice of life all in the midst of a zombie apocalypse! Itâs a combination I never knew I wanted in my life, but now I am glad I have it. Donât let the cute animation style fool you... it gets DARK. I was full out trying not to sob at one point, but I think that just shows how many levels are involved in this story. Have fun with this ride my friends <3
13. My Hero Academia
GUYS ARE YOU FREAKING READY!? This was the story I never knew I needed in my life, but now I donât know how I lived without it. Dear god, I binged this one so hard I think I forgot to breath for a week. All of the characters are so dynamic and the overall tone of the series is so uplifting and positive. If you are in a depressive slump just turn this one on. I promise you, you will be smiling and feeling better in no time! It is so motivational as well. Humor, action, suspense, thrilling, emotional- I donât think there is anything they donât touch on. Uhg gosh, I could prob write a dissertation on all the themes and undertones expressed in this work. I promise you, this is a journey you will not regret taking <3
14. My Hero Academia: Two Heroes
Iâll be honest, I think sometimes seriesâ movies miss the mark, or just feel lackluster, like a power hour of filler. This one my friends.... DID NOT. I was really glad I watched it too, because I felt as though it added so much to the main story line. Plus you get to see college years All Might... so bonus! X3 But seriously, it is a very fun movie and it gives you more background to the world you wouldnât otherwise get.
15. Shiki
First off... THE ART. This animeâs art is so unique and fits so well into the overall narrative. But honestly, I feel like this anime is a work of art, it feels like an old folk tale/dark fairy tale you would elders talking about in a pub late at night. The narrative never went where I expected it to, and by the end I was so morally conflicted I didnât know what to do with myself. Itâs a dark fantasy that really explores all the little nitty gritty grey areas that are often passed over in stories. There were definitely a few scenes that made me so uncomfortable I was squirming. Human nature is truly a sight to behold, and this anime shows it to you.
16. Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress
The Feudal Japan- Post apocalyptic- Steam punk journey you never knew existed! Gosh this anime is amazing. First off the art is breathtaking and many scenes reminded me of Miyazaki. Second, the music is SO GOOD. Itâs a concept on the undead that I find to be very unique and truly thrilling. Most of the anime takes place on a train which is such an intriguing element. You also go into human fear of the unknown and how our nature can truly be our biggest hindrance. The characters are great and you get to the point of really rooting for them. Get ready for this feast for your senses!
17. Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress Movie: Battle of Unato
After watching the series I felt like my heart was still missing something. Honestly the whole thing felt like it went by too fast. I still wanted more! This movie helped fill the void in my heart. You get to see relationship begin to form between characters as well as more insight into kabane and all their abilities. Standing alone, this movie is a really fun adventure and gives more insight into the state Japan is in overall.
So THERE YOU HAVE IT! I hope you might have found some new things to watch. I would love to see others lists of things they have watched, feel free to leave in the comments! Or if you have watched any of these, I would love to hear your thoughts! Letâs chat <3
#anime#anime reviews#Kakegurui#Death Parade#FMA#Sekkou Boys#Angels of Death#Occultic;Nine#Another#kokoro connect#School-live!#Shiki#Kabaneri#koutetsujou no kabaneri#steins;gate#steinsgatezero#Steins;Gate 0#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#quarantine watches
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Complete Tales & Poems by Edgar Allan Poe
"'For the love of God, Montresor!' 'Yes,' I said, 'for the love of God!'"
Year Read: 2020
Rating: 2/5
Context: Starting two years ago, Iâve picked an intimidatingly long classic to read over the course of a year. I have a problem with trying to read books as fast as I possibly can, so if I set myself a thousand page novel, Iâll try to pound it in a week, and it will just be a miserable experience all around. So, a year is a nice compromise. Iâve hit the major Poe horror stories in the past, and Iâve been thinking about rereading them, but I couldnât decide where to start. Reread my favorites? Read the ones Iâve heard of? What if Iâm missing something awesome? As usual, my go-to answer is to read them ALL. For more thoughts on individual stories, see my monthly blog posts. Trigger warnings:Â character death, torture, live burial, cannibalism, decapitation, animal abuse, injury, severe illness, racism/xenophobia, anti-Semitism, ableism, slurs, mental illness, bitter ranting from the reviewer.
Thoughts: My edition, with an introduction by Wilbur S. Scott, is probably not the edition I would have picked, since I prefer more notes or even essays to help me out with books that are 100+ years old. Context is helpful. Somehow though, my dad and I ended up with the same edition, so we decided to read it together. My dad loves all things horror (I come by it naturally), and weâre both longtime Poe fans, especially if you happen to put Vincent Price in one of his film adaptations. Scottâs introduction is particularly pretentious for a book we probably found in the bargain bin, and he manages to criticize the horror genre for not being âliterary enoughâ. This is an Edgar Allan Poe collection, right? Way to alienate 90% of your audience right from the start. You canât snub an entire genre and then attempt to explain why people like it. Like a lot of critical writing, it tells us more about Scott than it does about Poe, and I was circling his typos to entertain myself by the end of the introduction.
It did not get better. In short, I actively hated so much of this collection, and it's my most arduous and least enjoyed year-long read to date. To be even shorter, the only stories I found worth reading for pleasure were the horror ones I had already read and loved, and I'm afraid to examine too closely whether that has more to do with nostalgia and pop culture than the stories themselves. Poe has a way of lingering on pointless descriptions and belaboring a point to its absolute death, alongside an aggressively pretentious tone that suggests the narrator (and, by extension, Poe himself), knows everything there is to know about everything and you're an idiot for even asking. His true talent may not be horror, but in turning what might have been a good story into an intellectual soapbox and hammering it the point of absurdity. It would be different if the stories actually were intelligent instead of ridiculous. Iâm happy to talk Aristotelian ethics, but the point is never to intellectually engage the readerâ-itâs to show how clever the writer is.
On the whole, it seems like Poe struggles with telling a straightforward story, and I canât tell if itâs because the short story genre has changed so much since then or because heâs so busy trying to show readers how smart he is that he forgets that stories have very specific components like suspense, exposition, or rising action (or endings). Most of them consist of some narrator speaking the entire time (I have all kinds of problems with this, from, âYou just ruined the twist of your own storyâ to âNo human talks for thirty uninterrupted minutes unless some idiot gave them a microphone.â), and few of them have anything resembling action, plot/character development, strong themes, or closure. Thereâs an essay-like quality to some of them (âThe Imp of the Perverseâ, âThe Premature Burialâ) where he seems to be trying to tease out a concept on an intellectual level, sometimes for pages and pages, before he remembers that heâs telling a story with characters and what could loosely be called a plot. I could do without all the intellectualizing, verbal grandstanding, and narrative cartwheels; just tell a good story, please.
And he does, sometimes. It's clear why Poe remains an essential part of the horror canon because those are easily the best stories in the collection, and I don't think that's just because I'm a horror fan. Horror seems to age better than some other genres because certain things remain consistently scary over decades or even centuries--being buried alive, for example. âThe Fall of the House of Usherâ is permeated by a feeling of bleak foreboding, culminating in some truly terrifying images, and âThe Tell-tale Heartâ is one of the better examples of Poeâs rambling narrator who thinks a lot of his own intelligence and slowly unravels over guilt. Both scared me to death when I was a kid, and Iâm happy to see that they still maintain a high creep factor as an adult. (I also had the Great Illustrated Classics Tales of Mystery and Terror as a kid, because all a story about being buried alive needs is an illustration!) âThe Cask of Amontilladoâ has long been one of my favorites (because there is something deeply wrong with me, probably), and âThe Pit and the Pendulumâ and âThe Masque of the Red Deathâ are both top-notch horrifying, the latter a classic plague story that's a little *too* relevant to the times just now (but, you know, also one of my favorites). The clock symbolism is some of the best in the entire collection. Why, pray tell, would you be afraid of time?
The tolerable stories are the detective ones and the adventure ones, in that order. I can see why Poeâs detective stories like âThe Gold Bugâ and âThe Murders in the Rue Morgueâ spawned a genre. I was getting clear Sherlock Holmes vibes from his character, Dupin. However, it reaffirms that something is a classic because of its effects on literature as a whole and not because itâs still all that accessible. Just because something is the first of its kind doesnât mean itâs the best of its kind; in fact, it usually isnât because that was only a starting place. I canât help feeling âMurdersâ would have been more compelling as a horror story than a detective story. Murdering gorillas are cool; listening to someone talk about murdering gorillas, much less cool. I was extremely irritated by his hot air balloon stories ("The Balloon Hoax", "The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall"), but apparently Jules Verne loved them, which makes a lot of sense. I was getting a lot of Verne vibes from things like "A Descent Into the Maelstrom" and even the utterly long, boring, and racist "Narrative of A. Gordon Pym." It's clear they had influence on other writers, even if they're not the best examples of their genres.
Which brings us back around to the bad. It's not worth my time or yours to list all the terrible stories in this collection, but I can briefly summarize what I found so terrible about them. First, Poe is tragically, emphatically unfunny. The things he seems to find humorous are either in very poor taste now (his tasteless descriptions of mental patients in âThe System of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fetherâ), or theyâre outright ridiculous, almost slapstick, like the woman who gets her head stuck in a clock and is subsequently decapitated by it in âA Predicament,â which is an odd sequel to âHow to Write a Blackwood Article.â Iâm sensing that Poe is making fun of intellectuals or would-be intellectuals here, but with so much time and cultural distance, itâs hard to tell. In any case, it led to a running joke (âIâm going out for groceries!â âDonât stick your head in any clocks!â). Somehow, I doubt this is the major takeaway Poe was hoping for.
Worst of all, they don't age well on representation either. Poe seems at pains to offend every single minority he possibly can throughout his oeuvre. There are a lot of horribly racist depictions of African Americans, snide comments about Jewish people (or the much more obvious anti-Semitism in âFour Beasts In Oneâ where a mad king has a thousand Jews killed--really?), and blatant ableism (âHop-Frogâ). It's at its worst in "Narrative of A. Gordon Pym," a novella that spans over a hundred pages, that is basically a tedious, xenophobic setup to paint the native population of an island as the most horrific and duplicitous monsters imaginable. (The narrator previously ate one of his shipmates, so can he really afford to throw stones here?) For inexplicable reasons, that story isn't finished, and by that point, I was grateful.
Poe's poetry is a little easier to work through than his prose. I love "The Raven" with its lilting rhymes and dark message, and "Annabel Lee" is very pretty, both ubiquitous in popular culture. I also liked "Dream-Land," "Al Aaraaf" (where Ligeia makes another appearance), and "Alone." Most of the poetry has pretty simple rhyme schemes, the subjects mainly love and loss. There's an excerpt of an unfinished play, "Politian," included as well, but it didn't make much of an impression on me. TL;DR: I stand by my initial opinion, which is to read his horror stories for pleasure and, possibly, his detective and adventure stories for genre purposes, and to skip the rest. I'll probably be looking for a smaller edition of the stories I like. This one is a massive hardcover, more like a book you put on your coffee table to look impressive than a book you actually read (but I donât have a coffee table, so itâs actually just taking up more room on the shelf than any one book has a right to).
#book review#complete tales and poems#Edgar Allan Poe#horror fiction#poe readalong#2/5#rating: 2/5#2020#bookoween
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