#I hate when I feel sad over fucking Dazai of all people

[wistfullywaiting2]

Hey you guys ever think about how even though Chuuya is often characterized to be an alcoholic in a lot of fanmade content, Dazai is the one who canonically is an alcoholic?

Because I do, I think about it more than I’d like to .

[himimosa]

how they hug

some headcannons on how dazai osamu, nakahara chuuya and edogawa ranpo hugs...

Dazai Osamu

-Dazai is exceptionally observing. Even though he can't empathize with all feelings people have, he knows what to do in social situations by mimicking others, it is just about if he cares or wants to do it...

-"polite hug": This is the hug you see most in social life when you greet someone you are not close with, where the lower bodies don't touch and only arms gently holding the other by shoulders. This hug is for his acquaintances or people he interacts with for work.

- "embracing hug": He wraps his arms very tightly around the other's back. If he hugs you like this, you feel safe and sound. You can hear his heartbeat, his slow breathing. He might give a few pats to your head or back. He usually use this hug for comforting people who he cares when they are crying or feeling down...or if he wants to give someone a false sense of trust and manipulate them...

- "clingy hug": Where he just jumps into the arms of you... He wraps his arms and whole body around you like an octopus. He buries his neck wherever he likes at that moment; your hair, your neck, your chest. He whines like a little child, says how much he missed you and says that he won't let you go now... (the thing is, sometimes he hugs Kunikida exactly like this because Dazai knows this level of clinginess drives the poor guy crazy: "Dazai put your fucking arms away from me and go back to work you waste of bandages!")

Nakahara Chuuya

- I don't think Chuuya does hug a lot of people. Or does he even hug?.. He doesn't look like someone who hugs to greet people in a mafioso meeting. I can't even imagine him hugging anyone to just greet them in the port mafia, he looks more like the type who gives a nod with his head or a firm handshake at most... But even not so frequently, this redhead mafia executive has times he hugs too:

- "drunk hugs": Where he loosely puts his hand around the shoulder of whoever he is drinking with that night. (might be Akutagawa or Tachihara) This is more like a side hug, where he hums and swings the song that is currently playing on the bar, even if there is no music he will sing and swing...

-"hug with only one arm": (This is sad, please don't hate me) His job is not the most chill one, he loses people who work under him. Sometimes he loses underlings and he prefers to give their death notifications to their families by himself. He is someone who takes care of people who are under his wing, it counts for their loved ones too... When they break down with the news -the dead one's friend or companion or child doesn't matter- chuuya will simply put his gloved hand on the back of their head, and let them cry into his shoulder or chest. This is a reassuring type of hug that says "I am still here and I will take care of you"

-"stir on the air hug": This is how this man hugs you. No matter your height or weight, he is the gravity manipulator. Whenever he hugs you, he can't help but slyly and abruptly pick you up from the ground by your waist and draw circles with you. You feel like a feather in this man's arms and can't help but laugh when he rotates around like a child. He loves to adore your giggly face from the downside. And if you give him a kiss from that angle? He is the happiest man ever...

Edogawa Ranpo

- I believe that Ranpo is the clingiest among them. It is only about if he feels comfortable enough... He won't hug any acquaintance for greeting like Dazai, (i don't think he handshakes too, he probably only waves his hand to greet) But with people who he feels closer with, like Ada members? Now that's a different story...

-"hugs with jumps": You know the hugs when two people who haven't seen each other for a long while that they run into each other's arms with a jump? Ranpo doesn't need a long separation for this hug, if he is overexcited about something, he will jump before hugging. Once he jumped over Kunikida just to prove that Kunikida will catch him even if it means to drop all documents in his hands, and Kunikida exactly did that (if you know the Terry-Jack scene from B99, you know this) (also poor Kunikida)

-"back hugs": Ranpo doesn't do much at the office, his job is mostly outdoors, at crime scenes... So whenever he is at the office if he is not eating snacks, he is probably on someone's shoulders. He loosely wraps his arms around their shoulders, his head sometimes rests on one shoulder. Sometimes he helps their case files with his great skills, sometimes he just wants to bother them because he is bored. If you are working at the ada, good luck because he is never leaving you. He is like a little mosquito (a loveable one) His head is always around your ears, he never shuts up. And sometimes he bites...

-"hide my face hugs": (Again, this is sad) There are only a few people in the world Ranpo hugs like that. One would be the president Fukuzawa on a very bad day, the other would be you... Unlike others, Ranpo hugs like that in only private. He wraps his shaky arms around your waist and buries his face near your shoulder or chest. He doesn't lift his head for a while, but you can feel his shivering and the wetness on you because of his tears. He may or may not cry aloud, but he will cry. He needs you to shield him from the world, maybe pat his head and whisper everything will be okay...

[lit3rallyll0yd]

๋࣭ ⭑ how they cuddle you. bsd x reader

gender: gender neutral

type: headcanons

characters: dazai, kunikida, chuuya. atsushi, akutagawa, ranpo, poe, and yosano(i will make a part two)

warnings: lowercase writing, cursing

๋࣭ ⭑ dazai osamu 🩹

his cuddles make you feel safe.

he wraps his arms around your waist, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

you could've swore he's like a human heater sometimes.

with the blanket wrapped around you both, you never want to leave.

he can cuddle you, anywhere!! he doesn't really care.

you could be in the middle of doing your paperwork you had to get done today, and this man is on you like a puppy!

begs for your cuddles. pouting his lips whimpering!

sometimes you cuddle him to get him to back off, but you also fo it because you love him.

you basically signed up for this.

however, you couldn't have it any other way.

๋࣭ ⭑ kunikida doppo 📖

is not the best fan of pda.

so cuddles are kinda rare with him.

you knew this before you started to date him.

however, that doesnt stop you from hugging him.

first time you did he was stiff, but he hugged you back.

this is how it started.

sooner or later he's gotten much closer to you, and felt more comfortable with hug and pda.

he holds you like your his everything, which you are. he wouldn't what to do or think without you.

anyways, he keeps you warm and safe in his hold. making sure you know he's there.

literally 10 minutes later he's back same old kunikida and knocking the shitballs outta dazai :(

but you still love him<3

๋࣭ ⭑ chuuya nakahara 🍷

treats you like royalty, not like he already does, when cuddling you<3

he holds you close, whispering sofr words into your ear, reasurring you everythings okay.

early in the relationship he noticed how much you loved to cuddle up next to him when your scared, happy, nervous, or even sad and you just want to be held.

he doesn't complain about it though, but would never admit it to someone else other then you.

he obv shows his love toward you, but he also does it through gifts and words of affirmanation...

as said before.

sometimes you fall alseep on his chest, his arms tightly around your waist as your neck is buried in his neck.

carries you around the apartment if you want a gladd of water, some snacks, or even to go to the bathroom.

ofc he leaves you after dropping you off, and is right back to take you back to the bed.

i love him so much DUDE!!

๋࣭ ⭑ atsushi nakajima 🐯

he's so gentle :(

he's nervous about hugging you tightly when you first started to date.

he grew more confident through the months you and him have been a thing.

he wraps his arms either around your shoulders or waist, depending on how your laying on him,

when your spooning him, he purrs. DUDE FUCKING PURRS!! ��

cutest fucking thing you will ever see him do while cuddling and you tease him for it.

he makes you feel soooo safe it's not even funny.

bonus points if he adds a blanket and drapes it over the both of you<3

he kisses your nose, cheek, chin, forhead, temple, anywhere all over your face, giggling at your laughs when he does so.

๋࣭ ⭑ akutagawa ryunosuke 🩸

scared this dude is goin to hurt you in some way, even though he can control his ability!!

you try your best to make him feel more comfortable but he's as stiff as a rock.

you even tried to cuddle him at first, but that just ended with you cuddling him the entire time. which, you of course didn't mind.

if he does get comfortable, and this is when he's super tired he just wants to lie on you, he wraps his arms around your waist and hides his face in any part of your body.

stomach, sides, chest, neck, anywhere he can reach without putting in any effort.

he kisses your lips lots of times, each one of them giving you butterflies.

hates it when people walk in on you two and your cuddle sessions.

it makes him insecure and won't cuddles you for a couple of days.

dude, we love him thou<3

๋࣭ ⭑ ranpo edogawa 🔍

dude is all over you..

he loves it when you get all cuddly...and you beg for him to cuddle you.

he holds the back of your head as you cuddle into his side as you sit on his lap.

his legs are wrapped around your waist and he talks about his day.

asking you how was yours, as well!

half of the time cuddle sessions end with tickle fights.

he can't help it, your laughter is adorable to him<3

when his literally just cuddling you, he's like a kolala..he is not letting go unless your bribe him or pull him off.

he likes it when you just let it happen.

during some of them, scratch that, in all of your cuddle sessions, he shares his snacks with you...BUT ONLY if your being cute<3 which you always are, of course<3

he feeds some of the snacks, and plops some candies in your mouth...BAHHA...and if anyone were to walk in on that moment you would never live it down.

ranpo couldn't give two shits, LOL.

๋࣭ ⭑ edgar allen poe 🖋

always asks, never just grabs you and cuddles you..

unlike dazai😑 BUT THIS AIN'T ABOUT HIM

he's so kind<3 his hugs are like a taste from heaven.

he wraps his arms around your torso and kisses your temple.

he's taller, i'm guessing, dude seems pretty tall😗..

so he has to usually bend over to kiss you or to hug you.

if your sitting, he finds it so much easier to just kiss you whenever he wants...if your okay with it.

consent is always key with him and relationships as should all🤧

he likes to talk about his new novels with you, and loves it when you suggust ideas to him<3

because he's so warm, you end up falling asleep on him...

to which he has no idea what to do...

however, your cuddles sessions are his life he needs them at least for an hour or so<33

๋࣭ ⭑ yosano akiko 🩺

MOMMY? ahem- sorry.

mommy- i mean, yosano loves your hugs, it's just something that brightens up both of your days.

she asks you how you are and if your taking care of yourself, which always make you feel loved<3

you both rarely cuddle at work, it's just a lot of hugs and kisses.

sometimes you fall asleep on her, lol.

she finds it adorable, and will stab anyone who dares to even attempt to wake you up.

dazai once snapped of a photo of you, and still has it to this day, and yosano death glared him all for the rest of work.

anyways, she loves her cuddles sessions with you.

[theforestsongz]

"THE MAN I HATED MOST IN THE ENTIRE WORLD IS DEAD AND NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. I DON'T KNOW WHAT FACE I SHOULD BE MAKING"

TW nonspecific mentions of abuse, grief, personal stuff

God I relate to this quote. This scene hit hard for me, firstly, because Dazai says important words ANY abuse survivor should hear:

"You don't have to forgive. No matter his beliefs, what he did to you was barbaric and unforgivable."

A few years ago (I think, cba to check), my main abuser died. I got pressured to feel sad about it by most people in my life, got loads of condolences and hugs, and people assuming I'd be in tears along with them over a woman who made my life hell for over a decade. My brain is in pieces because of her, and here people were, telling me i should feel bad to finally be free of her. And yet, I cried at her funeral.

To this day I like to pretend her death didn't affect me at all, that it's mostly positive, and that's for the most part true and yet I cried at her funeral. I spent so long thinking my grief wasn't valid because I wanted to be rid of her. I prayed for her death when I still lived in her house...

"I can only give you the common advice. People tend to cry when their father dies"

That line hit me like a fucking truck. I needed to hear it as much as Atsushi did. Until that point, no one had told me it was okay to both grieve the loss of this person I had spent a considerable amount of time with and got attached to, and to not forgive them for those actions. I'm sure there are parts of my brain still attached to her who need an outlet for that grief, and that's okay.

As I said, I did cry at her funeral. I still sometimes miss some conversations we had. She was a considerable part of my life, despite being so horribly horribly abusive to both me and so many others. She was like an extra mother figure, and when I was young I'm sure I wanted her affection as any child would. I mourn the person I could've been without her and the bond we could've had if she wasn't awful.

This is just a bunch of disjointed thoughts ^v^ I just really love how bsd shows various complicated feelings towards abuse, power, being a "good person" etc. Thanks so much for reading!

[hannigramislife]

hey there! not actually an ask, just wanted to say that i just found your blog and your posts all make so much sense.

i love dazai's character myself, i can't lie, but i think it's essential to acknowledge everything he's done and STILL does. yes he's a huge bitch. recently I've seen people defend him AND his abuse to Akutagawa with the most braindead and most confident arguments I've ever seen in my life. that made me, yk, mad 😁. like yes i love him, but i also hate him, I'm not blind? and everyone should stop treating him like their Poor Cutie Damaged Pookie! (sorry if this sounded like i was mad at you I'm bad at expressing myself but i hope you understand)

Bc anyways, i also feel like that's a disservice to his character writing yk? Taking a complex, genius, (asshole), manipulative Machiavellian character and turning him into an emo sadboy?? who did nothing wrong? I used to do that at first but that's in the past. It's fine to like a character, but imho at least people should like them for what they actually are. If someone has a made-up version of the char. in their mind, that's completely ok, but they shouldn't force it on others and use it to "prove" that the character is "good" or sumn.

Also the ABUSE CYCLE thing! That was so insightful! As in, the way Dazai's ended up being the worst out of them all.

Also also also! (Sorry for the rant) I mostly agree with your takes on ships (multishipping should be more common yep), especially fukumori (i feel like it's rare to find an opinion like yours, but "Fukuzawa, what about your HUSBAND?" was EXACTLY what i thought when Fukuchi came in, sorry not sorry. I used to feel bad about shipping them but now that you've got me thinking about Dazai, well. If i ship skk, as i do, i can also ship zskk.) And oh. My. God. Your take on Fyolai is SO REAL. That's my absolute favourite ship in all of bsd. You're right, there's some things you don't write (or *ahem* draw) if you don't want people to ship two characters and the Fyolai dynamic is just INSANE. But then again, with a username like yours, i should have known it ;)

there are probably a lot more things that'll come to my mind later but anyways thank you so much for your posts and sorry for this weird af rant! (i hope it didn't sound passive aggressive, just know it was not intended that way)

(and yeah. sadly, dazai is handsome. goddamn face card. that post where you complained about it sent me)

Hello friend!! Sorry it took me so long to answer, and thank you so much for your ask!

I love Dazai fans who can acknowledge his bad sides, just as I acknowledge his good qualities as a certified Dazai hater! Rather refreshing.

I HATE WHEN THEY TURN HIM INTO THIS SAD EMO BOY LIKE HE'S SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT. Can't even victimize the right things about him, smh.

I'm so glad you see my view on the abuse thing!! Like, I don't get how people can view it differently, it really pisses me off?? "You can't compare what they went through," fucking watch me.

OMG FUKUCHI CAME IN OUTTA NOWHEREEE. If Ranpo doesn't approve, I don't approve either. I'm sorry, but I didn't spend 4 seasons waiting for the leaders of these two organizations to renew their vows for you to win me over with the "childhood friends trope." Nope.

Calling out my hannigram past for the fyolai take alsmakdkd guilty as charged 🙈

No worries at all about the ask, I rather enjoyed it!

And yes, Dazai being handsome is literally so annoying and makes my life difficult XD

[ragingstillness]

BUNGO SPOILERS

ok so I have Thoughts.

First of all, the anime going ahead of the manga I have seen before in other fandoms. Sometimes it meant that the plotline had been neatly wrapped up for the anime and the manga would diverge. Take that as you will

Fyodor is not dead. Come on. An arm? I’ve watched anime for too long to think he’s dead without a full body. Not to mention that an arm is particularly suspicious considering Gogol’s ability. Remember when he convincingly cut himself in half? He could very easily have transported Fyodor out of the helicopter and cut off his arm because he knew it’d convince Dazai

Speaking of Gogol, if Fyodor is dead I am robbed of seeing Gogol kill (or at least try to) Fyodor and that isn’t fair. To me.

Chuuya being a fake vampire? Checks out, sounds like some shit Mori would do. Sad we didn’t get to see him act directly in this episode but eh.

Chuuya’s teeth being glued in and him unable to get them out? I have literally had this exact experience trying to glue in vampire teeth for a Halloween costume once. I was picking glue out of my gums for a week it was awful

Tecchou and Kenji being alive? What I expected.

Jouno and Tachihara are still up in the air I guess

Poe’s book. Can it suspend death? Is Fukuzawa somehow not still bleeding out from being stabbed through the heart? Bsd hates medical science. Also does Poe’s book write stuff on command? I thought he had to deliberately write the story which would mean he was working with Fukuchi? I’m confused.

Ranpo being alive and healed? Makes sense but I wanted to see Yosano do it so I knew she was alive.

Akutagawa no longer being a vampire and being alive? THAT’S MY FUCKING BOY! Also his new medieval knight outfit is fucking brilliant and I want him to know it makes him look very sexy

Bram saving Aya. We all knew it but were glad to see it.

Bram having his whole body back when it got mentioned (at least in the manga) that he’d die if the sword was pulled out? I mean I support it but that feels like a plothole

Bram being Aya’s knight? Adorable, I want to see him adopt her. I want the adventures of the weirdly old adult who knows nothing of the modern world and the reckless kid with a good heart and an iphone

Whoever Atsushi and Aku are fighting? Unclear but it looks like it’s holding Fukuchi’s sword so maybe it’s the sword itself? He did say smtg about a legendary sword maker. I’d guess it was Crime and Punishment but it doesn’t look Russian enough

Fyodor’s Hebrew: excellent, we love to see it, last words of Jesus, that’s the good shit. Also irl Fyodor getting out of prison and living a better life vs bsd Fyodor getting out of prison and dying…idk where I was going with this anyway irony

The bullet not piercing the skull trick. Frankly was one of the ideas I thought of, not surprised Dazai’s a fucking cockroach.

Fukuchi’s plan. Naive at best but relatively good intentioned. I’m not ready to like him as a character and probably never will. Killing 500 people, how the hell could he keep it so precise? It’s also an interesting debate about the life of an individual vs the life of the collective, almost a trolley problem thing, curious to see how Fukuzawa decides about it

Not a fan of Fukuzawa crying. If I do not see it, it cannot make me sad

Fukuchi’s plan cont. changing reality with the book is the only way I can think of to make this plan even somewhat feasible. Without it the plan would collapse. Do you know how many wars would be fought just over who controlled One Order? Why can’t the original ability user use it? So many questions

One Order’s design: Soul-Eater-Kishin-ass-looking-thing

Can One Order even still control armies without them under control of the vampire ability? What about the seal on Fukuchi’s wrist that made him control Bram? The sword being coded to Fukuzawa’s voice? How???? There are so many questions around that alone

How does Bram undo the vampirism I want to see it?! Is Aku still injured when he is de-vamped?

Fukuchi said it was a U.N. ordinance about One Order. Is he aware not every country is in the U.N.? Also, if someone manages to launch and nuclear missile before One Order is activated it can’t exactly be deactivated. There are so many issues with this plan it’s like Thanos’

Where is the book???? I want to know????

So Sigma is just dead then? Fuck. And we still don’t get to lean what Fyodor’s ability does

Fyodor having vampire spies among the Mersault guards is such a cop-out, give me something cool like Dazai’s communication strategy

Strongest opponent after /that man/. WHO IS FYODOR TALKING ABOUT I NEED TO KNOW GIVE ME TOLSTOY OR GIVE ME DEATH!

I’ll probably add more thoughts as I have them but these are my preliminary ones

[darling--angst]

! 100+ Follower Event !

Status: Open

Thank you guys so much for the 100 followers! I know I suck at writing but you guys still liked it so thank you so much!

Rules

Please follow the guidelines before requesting

Please be patient.

When the event is over, it's over; please check my pinned post for clarifications.

Please chose only from the options (you can request if you want but I'm going to have to do it last because of the event)

You can specify a scenario that you want

Please specify the characters

Minors are only written platonically

I only write for the characters listed below

Mix and match

Specify if you want it to be platonic/romantic

Theme: Songs

- Each options is going to have a song lyric, the whole Oneshot is dedicated to that song lyrics with a character of your choice.

- You can also choose a scenario but it's optional(I'll not be providing the scenarios)

Genre: Available

- Fluff

- Angst

- Comfort

Type: Available

- Oneshots

Characters:

- Atsushi Nakajima

- Dazai Osamu

- Chūya Nakahara

- Kunikida Doppo

- Akiko Yosano

- Ranpo Edogawa

- Kyouka Izumi

- Kenji Miyazawa

- Jouno Saigiku

- Mori Ogai

- Edgar Allan Poe

- Akutagawa Ryūnosuke

- Gin Akutagawa

- Higuchi Ichiyo

- Nikolai Gogol

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

- Tecchuo Suihiro

- Sigma

Format: name, (no.), Character, Type: [scenario optional]

Ex. Paper Rings (2) Nikolai, romantic: [scenario]

Angst:

"I had all and then most of you. Some and now none of you, take me back to the night we met. I don't know what I'm supposed to do haunted by the ghost of you"

- The Night We Met, Lord Huron

"I brought you daffodils on a pretty string but they won't flower like they did last Spring"

- Another Love, Tom Odell

"I wouldn't hesitate to smile while you suffocate and die. And I would be just fine oh what a lovely sign"

- Choke, I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

"Cold sheets, oh where's my love? I am searching high, I'm searching low, in the night"

- Where's My love, SYML

"You have to understand that, the one I killed was me. Changing who I was for who you wanted me to be."

- If I killed Someone for You, Alec Benjamin

"You'll change your name and change your mind and leave this fucked up place behind. But I'll know"

- Christmas Kids, Roar

"And the worst part is that I love you I loved you I loved you it's true, and sometimes I feel like I still fucking do"

- Rät, Penelope Scott

"The music we make is unnatural, but it sound just like falling in love"

- Butch 4 Butch, Rio Romeo

"They call him hermit the frog, he's looking for a dog. Did you find your bitch in me?"

- Hermit the Frog, MARINA

"I used to like smoking to stop all the thinking but I got a different buzz"

- High enough, K.Flay

"In the back of my mind you died. I killed you, and I didn't even cry. Not a single tear, I can't I believe I said it"

- Romantic Homicide, d4vd

Fluff:

"I'm alright if you're alright, and I'm okay if you're okay."

- This December

"People say she's crazy and her life's a mystery, oh but love grows where my rosemary grows"

- Love grows, Edison Lighthouse

"But when he loves me I feel like I'm floating, when he calls me pretty I feel like somebody"

- Cloud 9, Beach Bunny

"and I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this uh-huh that's right, you're the one I want"

"kiss me once cuz you know I had a long night kiss me twice cuz it's gonna be alright, three times cuz you've waited your whole life"

- Paper Rings, Taylor Swift

"Close friends, besties, roommates, colleagues, anything but lovers. History hates lovers"

- History hates Lovers, Oublaire

Comfort:

"I don't care about the government, and I really need a hug. I feel stupid and ugly, pretend it doesn't bother me"

- Boys will be bugs, Cavetown

"I think I'll miss you forever. Like the sun miss the stars on the morning sky. Later's better than never."

- Summertime Sadness, Lana del Rey

"It will take a while to make you smile, somewhere in these eyes I'm on your side"

- Space Song, Beach House

"You took my broken melody, and now I hear a symphony"

- I Hear a Symphony, Cody Fry

"If you feel lonely I could be lonely with you, tell me baby why do you seem so blue? Why are we so complicated?"

- Sports, Beach Bunny

[soukokutruther]

im not waiting for anyone to ask me, im just infodumping ab dazai

i like him for a lot of reasons !! it usually starts out that i relate to characters, which is how it started w dazai too, but really idk bro he just makes me so sad and idk how to explain i just LOVE DAZAI hes my baby hes my pookie ill die for him thats all anyone needs to know

i have a lot, but id say probably that he likes cats/is compared to cats a lot, and is good with children, i just find it very sweet. also i love his style, and i love how intelligent he is.

how he treated akutagawa, although i dont blame him since he was like, a child, who didnt know how else to act due to how he was raised and grew up, too, although it still doesnt excuse it, and its still my least fav thing about him.

tokyo ghoul

dove- doll version (antihoney),

elements of my past (metaphorically, i wasnt in the mafia obviously 😭), cats >>> dogs, secretive, im not dazai smart but i mean id say im pretty intelligent 🤷🏻, mindset, um !! other stuff !! 🥰

i like how deeply they analyze him in order to understand him better and dont water him down to just "sad suicidal bandage man" (like ive seen some ppl do)

erm... i dont like how the rest of them water him down to sad suicidal bandage man. i also hate when people say hes a bad person, because hes not, the whole point of bsd is that most if not all characters are morally gray, and although dazai did things that were in fact, not okay, its not so black and white to be like "omg fuck he sucks hes a terrible character" (obviously u can still dislike him bc everyone has an opinion and thats okay but like as a character hes a lot more than just a bad person 😭 in fact id say hes grown to be a very good person)

i could see it tbh

i could also def see it (atsushi kinnie moment fr)

meh maybe, im more of a chuuya and poe guy tho 😁

i have a lot, i hc him to be an age regressor, and also i hc him to be autistic + transmasc. also hc that when they were in the mafia and chuuya found out dazai was living in a shipping container chuuya forced him to move in w him :3

i could see him using this all the time 🤕 and also :P he def sends that as kunikida screams at him over text lmfao

light academia

soukoku OBVIOUSLY, im THE soukoku truther (i also like sigzai but just for fun tbh, and i LOVE souheki but i see them as a qpr more than a ship. i dabble in kunizai every now and again as well)

i have a lot of least favs 💀 prob dazatsu and odazai, theyre both so wrong for so many reasons 😭

fyozai, im 50/50 on it because i can see it, but also idk what it is i just cant rly get myself behind it

soukoku !! <333 its not canon theyre a ship, but they do have a very beautiful canon relationship, whatever the dynamic of it may be

fyozai...

dazatsu !! i love them as best friends, theyre so sweet :)

i love to do a lot of things when writing dazai lmfao, i love to write dazai agere/petre fics, i love to make him sad and depressed mwahahahaha, i love to just make him suffer honestly (but its okay its always hurt/comfort i wouldnt do that to pook) !! but also im not evil (mostly), i love to make him pet kitties in fics/draw him w cats, i love writing him going out to bookstores and reading, i love writing autistic dazai, transmasc dazai, i love describing his eyes and how he looks in the moonlight, i just love writing ab dazai tbh. smth i dont like ?? idk making him cis, dazai is transmasc to me and will never be anything else tyvm have a good day 👍🏻

honestly the same things as before, i write what i wanna read lmfao

fav pic, i do have one, i just dont feel like getting it rn sry :3

honestly dazai is rly unique ive never quite come across another character like him 😭 i do think of him when i see lucky from acnh tho hehe

loved him from when i first laid eyes on him, will die loving my pookie <333

CHARACTER ASK GAME!!! 💫

Send a character + one or more of these question!

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

11. Would you date this character?

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to ths character? Something you don't like?

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

26. FREEBIE QUESTION!!

[distortedataraxia]

Can I request dazai and Chuuya (separately) who has and s/o who constantly gets Misgendered?

Author note : Hellooo! I hope you're doing well !Thank you for requesting, i hope you'll enjoy this and that it turned out to be the way you expected it to be (if not you can request again with more details or request to someone else) and have a great day and night ♪ Take care ! ^^

Now Into the request...

-

Dazai/Chuuya x reader that keeps getting missgendered

-

Dazai !

Tw : suicide mentions because dazaiii

You've gotten used to it

But still it was exhausting

You didn't know wether it was worth it or not to correct people

And it was a bit demoralizing

Dazai often corrected people for you

"Hey, i'm sorry over there but this beautiful person over there use [insert preffered pronouns] "

You might feel invalidated, and if that's the case, dazai will notice and reassure you that you are valid

"Hey I have an idea ! If we commit a double suicide together people won't misgender you anymore ! "

Thanks dazai, that was a great idea.

You can honestly kick him in the ass for giving you this idea

If your self-esteem gets lower due to this, he'll shower you with compliments and affection (if u're comfortable ofc)

He'll make sure to use the right pronouns for you and will do his best so that you feel affirmed in your gender identity

If someone keeps misgendering you on purpose to harass you or anything like that, Dazai will kindly threaten them and tell them to fuck off

Will give you the idea of wearing a pin with your preferred pronouns - it's up to you if you want it or not

He'll be really sweet and make sure you feel affirmed in your gender identity

Will comfort you or try to cheer you up if you feel down about it

Really, he just wants you to feel valid

He will ask people their pronouns more often so that maybe more people do that aswell and so that you may get a tiny bit less misgendered

Will support you

Might ask kunikida if there's a way to have a add all around yokohama or the whole world about misgendering and create misgendering prevention stuff and all because why not -

Chuuya !

You got used to being misgendered

But it was still really exhausting

You always didn't know wether it was worth it to correct people so you often just kept quiet

It was demoralizing

And you might have felt invalidated

Drop of self esteem and confidence..

And chuuya hated that

So he would correct people for you

And if people kept on misgendering you on purpose he would get angry and will be tempted to use his abilty

Whatever happen, please don't feel guilty, chuuya just cares a lot about you

Chuuya will make sure to use your prefered pronouns

And if he ever misgender you he'll apologize quickly and move on so that you don't feel uncomfortable

But he'll coincidentally buy you a lot of gifts the next day

He'll do his best so that you feel valid and will reassure you everytime

If you ever feel down or sad about it, he'll comfort you

He seems a bit annoyed and angry when he corrects people even if he don't mean to : he just hate to see the daily misgendering affect you, atleast maybe people will remember more easily to use the right pronouns

He really also just want you to feel valid, you are who you are and who you want to be and he loves you for that.

He will also give you the idea of wearing a pin with your prefered pronouns - again, it's up to you if you want to do that or not.

He will be really loving and caring and he'll suport you

Even if you don't feel too bad about being misgendered, he wants you to feel valid so he'll still support you all the way and correct people.

[tender-rosiey]

Hi there, just wondering if I could put in a request for Ranpo, Chuuya, Akutagawa, Atsushi and Kunikida working with (and maybe even falling for???) someone who is super energetic and boisterous (reminiscent of bb nishinoya)?

I hope this makes sense 🥺 have a good day/night

❥ Bsd Characters working and falling for an energetic reader

Includes: Ranpo,Kunikida, Chuuya, Atsushi and Akutagawa

ᴀ/ɴ: I hope you like this 🥺❤️ I hope you have a wonderful day/night as well dear! This will be fun since I am a Nishinoya kinnie 👀

Ranpo Edogawa:

This adorable bby

“CAN I GET PAIRED UP WITH Y/N?!”

Chaotic duo

You guys are literally the sunshine’s of the Agency

He loves hanging out with you

You are the only person he shares his snacks with

Ranpo, yosano and you are a wonderful trio

Your missions together are always enjoyable and fun

Makes you laugh because he loves the sound of your laugh but you didn’t hear that from me

So yeah he would love working with you

It always brightens up his day

He literally subconsciously smiles when you enter

You guys like to buy candy and stroll the around the city together

Now falling for you

It will be a very fun rollercoaster for our dear detective

You can sometimes be unexpected even to him

Despite being an open book and being the most energetic and sunshine bby in the agency

Sometimes he gets surprised with stuff you do

If you hug him out of excitement then he will be normal in front of you and hug you

With a cute “YAY Y/N-CHAN HUGS!”

But after you turn your cute face away he wil be a blushing mess

And alone

He will be reconsidering his life choices and thank the heavens about blessing him with you

Let’s talk about when someone makes you sad

He will guilt trip them and ruin their self-esteem

“Are you stupid enough to make Y/N sad?”

He will give you his candy so your cute smile can be present again

Kunikida Doppo:

opposites attract check ✨

Yes queen

However he finds you somewhat more tolerable than another bandage wasting machine

He does keep your hyper state at bay though

“Y/N calm down.”

“YES SIR”

Smile at him though and he will let you do anything you want

Except blowing up the city 🤡

Enjoys your company when you are calm

Doesn’t mean he doesn’t when you are energetic

He enjoys it nonetheless but likes calm conversations between you two

Likes to softly smack you on the head with his book of ideals

SOFTLY AND LIGHTLY THO

He doesn’t like people who hit innocent ladies

Smiles at you when he sees you happy

Behind your back tho

A fond soft smile

Soft kunikida yay <3

He is like your legal guardian

“Y/N GET OFF THE ROOF!”

“COME AND GET ME hehe~”

Speaking of “hehe” or giggling

He loves it

And when he falls for you, your personality would be a major reason

“She doesn’t meet 13 of my ideals...HOW DID I FALL FOR HER”

Cue you laughing and greeting him

“Oh yeah that’s why”

You balance out the serious or stern attitude of his with the bubbly and energetic attitude of yours

Ruffles your hair when he is proud

Is kunikda the type to wink?

Absolutely not

Unless ;)

Sometimes you prank our dear blonde here so yes he gets a little mischievous with you

You are buried in a lot of work?

Kunikida will pass by and wink at you

Yes that fine man is what got you the work

And that’s the only time you will find him winking at your perfect figure (yes you are perfect and if you dare oppose then I will hug you to death)

Kunikida winking pls 🤭

He will scold anyone who dares and make you sad

“WE HAVE A RULE THAT LITERALLY SAYS NEVER MAKE Y/N SAD”

They don’t but he hates seeing you down

Chuuya Nakahara:

You are his child that he will beat anyone that will touch or make sad

He sees you as this precious day of sunshine in the port mafia

That literally makes everyone smile

So

He protects you with his laifu cause you are a potential waifu

But we will talk about that later on

SO

He enjoys working with you

You make the mission much lighter to deal with

But

If he is annoyed and can’t handle any noise around him

Then he will calmly ask you to calm down and tell you that he had a rough day before

He loves how you are understanding and nod smiling

Pets your head

“AYE AYE DONT MAKE Y/N SAD OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP”

Kouyou taught elegance for nothing 😔

He starts falling for your cute self

At a point chuuya will view your smile as a blessing

Specially if he is the one who causes it

Loves your personality and how you never fail to cheer him up

Soft smiles whenever you aren’t looking cause my man has a reputation to keep

He adores your hugs btw

“Thanks sunshine”

Yes that is his nickname for you even before getting together

You know how sometimes people run their knuckles onto someone’s head when mad?

He does that when you do something stupid

But he does it gently

When you are sad

Then all hell is let loose

At everyone but you 🥰

And Mori cause Chuuya isn’t fucked up in the mind so he can mess with that guy

Will let you hug him out

Tries and make you smile by telling you funny stories about dazai and how stupid he is

“You are my sunshine. My only sunshine.”

A line he had wrote in his diary while describing you

Yes I believe he has a diary but it will die with him

Atsushi Nakajima:

He adores you

Like another bby that will protect you

You are like Kenji but more energetic

He can never say no to you

Gets beyond flustered when you hug him

Likes seeing you hyper

Watches over you in case shit goes down

He enjoys missions with you

They are so much fun :0

You guys even go around Yokohama and get whatever you want after you are done

These cutesy smiles whenever you are super excited over something

Will get you anything and everything

Will apologize on your behalf if someone gets harmed by whatever you did

Per example

You broke a vase in the blinds of being so excited for the mission

Atsu will put you behind him and apologize

The owner of the bar of course will forgive you cause

A cute innocent boy and a ball of sunshine standing in front of him

He can’t be a cruel little shit to you so he lets you go without anything

Probably gives you something as a souvenir 🤡

He will do anything so you don’t ever feel down

However if you do then he will be by your side trying to making you laugh

Comfort you

You name it

He treasures your smile dearly even before loving you romantically

But as bby fell for you

He payed attention to little things you do even more

If he isn’t working on something on the agency then he is staring at you with a smile and releases a dreamy sigh

He could be going through a shit of a day and he will be at his best when he sees you

You know how he got flustered over hugging him?

Yeah now he becomes a tomato and lays on the floor fanboying

Simp

Whenever you greet him then he will blush, rub the back of his neck and waves shyly

His crush on you is so obvious though

Y/N RELEASE THE BOY FROM THE HELL OF BEING OBLIVIOUS TO YOUR FEELINGS AND TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke:

It’s heaven and hell for him hen he works with you

You are a great duo

But that’s not the actual heaven part

So what’s good about it is that he finds your presence sort of comforting

But GOODNESS IF YOU ARENT SO NOISY

He can’t handle it

Literally like tsukki to yams

“HEY AKUTAGAWA”

“Y/N shut up”

“No :D”

Little glares when you are too loud

He doesn’t really care about anyone around him

But

It slightly bothers him when you are down

He is so used to your bubbly and energetic attitude so to see something opposite to that is

Annoying in a sense or another

Flicks your forehead

“Cheer up idiot, it’s weird when you are sad”

How considerate wow

And falling for you would be something that surprised him

Aside from Higuchi trying to kill you

Aku started to savor your energetic attitude or aura

Slowly liked it

He even smiles a really really smol smile when you are looking at something

And like YOU ARE REALLYYYYY EXCITED

Pats you on the shoulder when proud

Yes he is copying “DAZAiIIIiiiiIi-sAaAaAAaaN”

Also now he can’t say no to you

“AKUTAGAWA I WANT CHOCOLATE”

“No”

Keep jumping around while smiling and saying please

And akutagawa will go “tch”

And let you get whatever you want

Oh yeah now that he likes you

Anyone that makes you sad loses an arm 😽

Overprotective

copyright © 2020 tender-rosiey

do not copy or plagiarize or you will be reported

[strink-family]

Okay I don't normally make text posts but I am so goddamn upset about the new BSD chapter.

Like. REALLY upset.

The only thing that could make me more upset is Dazai and/or Chuuya dying.

Spoilers and cuss words below the cut:

So Chuuya finally reappeared in the manga after over 1000 days of absence. Which WOULD be good, EXCEPT

Not only did he get fucking turned into a vampire, he was on FYODOR'S side instead of Dazai's. And I'm so fucking upset.

Chuuya lost his remnants of humanity and now his worst nightmare has come true. Not only that, he's fucking pitted against Dazai now. My comfort ship has to fight and one will probably die.

I was so hoping that Chuuya would show up and assist Dazai with his prison break but instead this happens. This. This is one of my worst nightmares.

Including Chuuya siding with Fyodor.

Sorry to all you Fyodor fans who follow me, but I hate him. I do. And to see Chuuya side with him makes me really really angry and upset.

Now I don't know if it was Chuuya's choice cuz I only saw snippets. But it probably was. And now Dazai or Chuuya will probably die, AND because of the other.

The Sigmazai thing made me a little upset but that doesn't hold a candle to the rest of this.

I know so many people will think I'm crazy for crying over this and being so affected by it, and maybe I am. But y'all don't understand how much Dazai, Chuuya, and Soukoku mean to me.

And I feel so invalidated by Asagiri now. Like all my hopes, dreams, headcanons, were stupid. Impossible. Unnecessary.

I write lots of fanfiction with domestic Soukoku that takes place when they're around 25 or 26. In which they're loving and sweet and there's no teasing. They can live happy together like they deserve.

And now I feel like everything I've ever created is stupid. Like that can never happen. Like I'm creating an impossible event that's just me grasping for moot hope. Like I'm an idiot for wanting to see that. For wanting them to be happy together, be together, live lives where there's no strife and sadness and mockery.

But this new chapter just shattered all of that before me.

Maybe nothing has happened yet. Maybe they won't die. Maybe Chuuya will end up helping Dazai.

But I feel delusional just hoping for that.

Chuuya's lost his humanity and his worst fear's come true. Chuuya's sided with Fyodor, out of anyone. Chuuya's sided against Dazai. One or both might die.

I know I'm stupid for being so upset by this. I know that. I know they're fictional characters.

But to me, it's so much more. And I can't help but be sad.

No. Sad is a dot to how I feel.

I almost feel inconsolable. I don't know what to do. I'm heartbroken.

And I know I'm overreacting. But I can't help it.

They may be fictional characters. But they mean a lot to me. They provide me comfort and feelings that nothing else can.

And now, I feel stupid for ever feeling that way.

It's not like I've stopped shipping Soukoku all of a sudden. I didn't. And I never will. But now I feel invalidated and moronic for sticking with it.

And I don't know what to do.

I'm sorry for this rant. I appreciate anyone who read this, and I'm sorry you went through it.

[soukokuwu]

I did fall in love with mori after season two so what do you think about hcs for yandere mori, fyodor and dazai with a s/o who doesent accept any of their affections and always try's to "fight" them? I think this would be a intresting concept because most darling give in or get stockholm syndrom but what is if that wont happen?

➤ ah yes t’was when we found out how scheming he can be~ and aye i gotchu anony ^.^

➤ warnings: yandere themes, manipulations, abductions, implied death

s/o who is not receptive to their feelings at all [yandere]

it’s easy enough for him to get you to be his little darling. he can turn on the charm so easily — appear like the perfect gentleman; lie through his teeth as effortlessly as he breathes. not completely your fault for thinking he’d be a perfect catch, but darling too bad for you, once you see the signs, you’re already in too deep.

and so you refuse. every single thing. he wants to kiss you? cringe. you pull away. he buys you gifts? you slap them away from his hands. dazai lets the behaviour pass... for a while. bend his patience enough and he’ll break like a twig. no, no, he won’t be broken like you will be, but instead he’ll take this as fuel to treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

what do naughty darlings get? punishment. for dazai, it comes in an entire range. there are the small, nearly insignificant kinds where he just barely speaks to you (and you thank god that the devil has shut up) but there are also times where he would lock you up in the port mafia dungeons because why not? you’re of no use if you’re not subservient. he’ll release you only when you apologise to him, beg him to forgive you. which you will, because you get hungry or you need the toilet. and only dazai can let you out.

but if this persists? dazai will get bored. much like anything in his life. he used to be obsessed with you and now he sees that you aren’t all that he made you out to be. he thought you were exquisite, positively wonderful. but now? you’re just stubborn, defiant and dull. he can guess your every move — rejection. not once are you ever obedient. for someone who has everyone in the port mafia worship the ground he walks on, this behaviour from you he finds absolutely foul.

prepare to be thrown to the curb and shot at three times. he might set you free... might. it depends really. he knows you’re not a threat at all in any way, but he also hates how you’ve been such a nuisance even though he’s been so nice. rejecting all his affection? did you think he appreciated you playing hard to get? should he kill you for it though? most likely he won’t, because if anything, you’d make for a nice plaything if he ever needed to find one.

wins you over by the only way he knows how: fear. he casually lets you see how he can easily manipulate people into doing his bidding, how heavy and real his threats can be, how he can smile even the most seemingly dire situations because he always has something up his sleeve. this way you’d know how calculative he is, how scary he can be. but he also shows you his sweet side; mainly, how he treats elise. and you figure that maybe he can make an exception for you too. but even when he does, his bad habits of being controlling is way too much for you to handle.

and all of a sudden, his attempts are all futile. you’ve lost all interest in him — not just that, you’re disgusted by him. you see him for how he really is now, and nothing can turn you back from it. his gifts will never be good enough for you, the dresses that he always bought for you to wear (which you used to comply with, you weren’t opposed to being a cute doll), you’ve cut up with a knife and shred to pieces. now mori is the boss of the port mafia, he will not be used to anyone going against him, but also knows not to be impulsive.

give this guy a little credit, darling. he tries. tries so hard not to kill you every minute of every day, that is. because that’s how much you reject his advances. not only does he try to shower you with presents, he even tries to get all touchy with you. and you thank heavens that he doesn’t actually force anything on you. but it’s more for himself than out of consideration for you. making love with someone who looks at him with disdain? he’ll pass.

but as fast as he is to make advances, he’ll also know when to quit. he gets to that point faster than dazai. mori doesn’t like to push it, he has elise to fall back on anyway, to keep him occupied. it doesn’t make him any less angry sad that his darling isn’t so cute anymore. and now he must wonder, should he just silence you forever?

oh it is such a waste, you used to be a good little girl, succumbing to his desires and being the light of his life. what a waste of time you turned out to be. and he knows it is necessary to dispose of certain things, certain... people. after all, the moment you stopped being a receptive darling he’s lost all romance toward you. you’re of no use, and you know too much of what he’s done. sorry darling, you may have rejected his gifts but you can’t reject death’s kiss.

picture perfect, that you were. he stumbled upon you by chance — or so the chance that he crafted out himself. once upon a time he spotted you from afar, such pretty features engraved on your face. what an absolute masterpiece. and masterpieces deserve to be kept safe, seen but hidden. and so fyodor worked his way into your heart, to gain your trust and your affections.

but why? why is it that you wouldn’t cross the fucking line? why are you so adamant on just being friends? fyodor has expended so much time, energy and money into you. something which a god definitely should not have to do. and yet, even after he puts aside his own ego for you, you dare refuse? he doesn’t give up though, no. he just has to do things a little differently for his darling now, doesn’t he?

and so he uses the easiest method of all — force. oh darling is way too gullible. meeting someone she’s just known for not long at night in a quiet street? he almost finds it endearing how naive you can be. it’s all too simple to knock you out and drag you back to his place. but it gets so frustrating. fyodor can clearly see the fear in your eyes when you realise your situation, but yet you still don’t cave to his demands. as much as fyodor likes the tug of war, this is getting tiring. and he has much better things to do with his time.

as perfect as you are, there comes a point when all you’re becoming is a nuisance. he spends time ordering gifts for you on the internet and yet you don’t bother opening, let alone using, any? he gives you time and space alone in your room yet you never come around. he actually tries talking and appearing as patient as he can, but the words never get in your ears, do they? and ah, that’s when he realises his darling is just a fake all along. a bad copy of a real masterpiece the paint just doesn’t quite hit the canvas right.

and what do you do with fakes? pass them on to another person for profit? throw them out like the trash they are? fyodor does still relish seeing the look of terror in your eyes, though. so maybe you can serve a purpose. the doubt, the... gratitude(?) in your eyes when you see he opens the door for you, to set you free. but you don’t turn back as you run out and away from him. but darling you turn a blind eye to it enough and you might just end up right back where you started. because fyodor may have grown tired of the tug of war, but he’ll never tire of cat-and-mouse. except this time, he’s the cat. and his darling, if unfortunate, will turn into a mangled little mouse.

[afinepricklypear]

**Update: The works mentioned in this post have since been taken down. The “message” was removed by AO3 because it was a violation of their TOS and it seems the author chose to remove their “opinions” piece.**

Despite the ongoing world crisis, I hope everyone is doing great as the year comes to a close and prepping for a safe holiday season.

I don’t really post here a lot, but I just wanted to talk about a problem that exists in every fandom and has recently come up for me in the BSD fandom. This problem is typically referred to as: toxic behavior, however, I sort of hate that term because it’s an umbrella term that encapsulates a wide array of behaviors that is purposefully vague so as to imply everything can be toxic, which means the definition changes depending upon the person, and ends up getting thrown around to describe any behavior that a person dislikes. That said, most people can agree that the term ‘toxic behavior’ includes “shipper wars” and harassing people because of their “ship”.

Yesterday, a user on AO3 going by the penname E_C_arts posted a message titled “deer Soukoku fans” and giving it the not-innocuous summary “please we’re begging you, please stop”. Clicking through leads to a rather prime example of this particular flavor of toxic fandom behavior, guised as an attempt to defend those who were allegedly victims of this self-same behavior, also a lovely example of emotional manipulation.

Although what’s currently posted (and what I managed to screen shot below) may not seem terrible on first glance, if not a little cringey, and can be easy to agree with (don’t bully people that write for a ship you dislike), this was not their original message and has been edited since being posted and, and only after receiving the number of comments it did and which they’re now noting as “proving their point” – a point which they erased, thus manipulating perceptions. I wish I had gotten a screenshot of the original, but if you scroll through the comments, you can find some people that quoted it.

This person most definitely did open their “message” to Soukoku fans by literally telling them to “stop writing” for it. They claimed there was some unspecified AU (or maybe multiple unspecified AUs) that had been overwritten for, that it was overused, and not original. They went on to talk about how the abundance of soukoku content was turning off new fans to the series (don’t even know how that logics…) and bullying people from creating content for other ships, basing these irrational sentiments off some false claim that removing everything with the soukoku ship from the fandom would only leave behind a sad, inacccurate (and oddly specific) 305 posts.

Evidence of their now deleted perspective can be further seen in another post they made to AO3 a couple days before this ugly rant. Titled simply “My unpopular BSD opinions”, they didn’t manage to garner much attention and went mostly ignored because, well, it’s your opinions about the show and that’s whatever. Of course, when you click into it, the very first “opinion” shared, is that they hate Dazai x Chuuya. Okay, that’s an opinion everyone is entitled to, and that’s fine. You don’t like the popular ship, that’s…not exactly an unpopular opinion, there’s quite a number of people that don’t ship soukoku. No problem. Until, they go on to elaborate.

Despite the title of this piece being ‘their opinions’, they state as ‘fact’ that its confirmed that this is “not a thing”, so ‘please stop shipping them it doesn’t work, it’s way too overused for it to be “funny” anymore’ (I’m a little confused about this wording, because Shipping is Serious Business™, so…not sure there are too many soukoku shippers doing it because they think it’s hilarious or whatnot, in fact, most soukoku fics are tagged ‘angst’, which we all know, angst is very ‘haha, lol’…but whatevs). They then include the same sentiment they expanded on in their Dear John to soukoku fans and subsequently deleted: “Please stop, there are too many au’s with almost the exact same plot Chuuya and Dazai being together, its really difficult to find any non-Dazai x Chuuya au’s”.

On the surface, once again, there are some “truths” to this sentiment. DaiChuu is a popular ship and there is a disproportionate amount of soukoku ship fics on the fandom comparative to other ships (soukoku comes in at a whopping 10,000+ currently, with the next popular ship Aku/Atsushi sitting at a decidedly less 2500+). It’s really not that difficult to find non-DazaixChuuya fics, if you know how to use filters on AO3, but there are going to be less to read from when you filter it down, and depending on your ship, you may find yourself in a fic desert, and I can certainly understand why someone young and lacking in rational thought processes might want to blame the popular ship for this predicament.

The problem with this logic, and it permeates every fandom, not just BSD, is that the shippers sharing and loving their ship are not to blame for your lack of ship content. You just don’t have a popular ship. If all the people who love soukoku stopped creating content for it, as this person is ‘begging’ them to do, that’s not going to increase the amount of content for your ships, because the reason that content isn’t being created is because there aren’t enough shippers for it. So, the only way this person’s logic works, is if what this person is actually saying, isn’t that they want these people to stop creating content for the BSD fandom, they just want them to jump ship, stop creating content for soukoku and start creating content for their ships.

Any creator/fan is going to have a visceral reaction to that: who the fuck are you to tell me what to create? And for free, no less!

This moves us more towards a clearer definition of what is toxic fandom behavior. In short, its telling anyone how they should interact with or interpret their favorite content. I mean, even Word of God does not have this power. That’s because every single fan in a fandom is an individual human being. They are possessed of their own autonomy, and as a creator I know, that once you put something out into the world and give it over to others, you have little control over how people consume and feel about your work. You can tell them your intention, but that’s not going to sway them to interpret it that way, and that’s…just the way it works.

Now, the elephant in the room needs to be addressed. It’s easy for me to be ‘offended’ by this person’s post and not see their complaints because I am a soukoku fan. I’m also the target of this person’s rant, and one of those people this person is attempting to emotionally manipulate into writing for other ships in the fandom for which I have no preference. But I am capable of seeing the other side of this argument.

First, because I do have other fandoms in which I am part, and for which I have a rare-pair ship. For example, I am a Gundam Wing fan and a 2x5 (Duo/WuFei) shipper. I’ve posted two 2x5 fics on fanfiction.net. While 2x5 is not the rarest of rarepairs in the Gundam Wing fandom, it is significantly eclipsed (as are almost *all* ships in the fandom) by the 1x2 (Heero/Duo) ship. Do I hate 1x2 shippers for my lack of 2x5 content? No. I just appreciate what I’ve got all the more, and I’ll create content for it when I feel compelled, and I sure the fuck won’t implore 1x2 shippers to stop writing for their fave and write more for mine because I want more 2x5 – that’s sheer entitlement, right there, pure and simple. I also ship 3xD (Trowa/Dorothy) in Gundam Wing, which *is* the rarest of rarepairs – I think there’s only, like, two stories in existence that features this pair on the entirety of the internet. I’m also a RavenxMurphy (Murven) shipper in The 100 fandom and I do not hate Bellarke fans because…those people are scary and have canceled the show’s creator for not delivering on Bellarke, and in BSD, I ship Atsushi/Lucy (yes, I said it, they’re cute af and I hope Asagiri delivers on that ship). I also low-key ship Yosano/Ranpo (sorry, Ranpo/Poe shippers, I understand the appeal, I just think him and Yosano is sooo cute, please don’t kill me…), and I also ship Yosano with Kunikida – all of which are some of the rarest in the BSD fandom.

Second, because I have seen and called out shipping harassment in the BSD fandom, so I am well aware that this kind of thing exists – as it exists literally everywhere and in every flavor. Against soukoku shippers from antis and by soukoku shippers against shippers putting Dazai or Chuuya with any other characters and by soukoku shippers against other soukoku shippers that are, uh, “doing it wrong”. None of these is appropriate. You’re not fighting fire with fire if you’re an anti-attacking the popular ship, you’re just creating a bigger fire and burning the entire fandom down. You’re not defending your ship if you are a soukoku fan attacking non-soukoku fans, you’re just punching down by attacking a less popular ship. And top/bottom arguments aren’t just toxic, they’re also deeply entrenched in fetishization of same sex pairings through a forced heteronormative lens and is, kind of, sort of, actually homophobic in its basis (yes, I said it. It’s ignorant and homophobic and trying to argue with ‘personality/physical traits’ as evidence of who serves what position in the bedroom can be emotionally and mentally damaging to members of the LGBTQ community. Claiming that Chuuya should be bottom because he’s shorter/smaller, or that Dazai has ‘bottom energy’ because he’s more flamboyant and ‘feminine’ is straight up discrimination – a shorter guy can definitely be top, and a manly man can be bottom, it’s not a behavior based on perceived gendered traits, it is just a fucking preferred sexual position, and no, you are not ‘fixing it’ by purposely using positions for these characters that eschews the stereotypes either. Trying to justify positioning by personality/physical traits at all, in any way, shape, or form is just not okay – if it’s your preference, it’s your preference, no justification needed, just recognize that it is *your* preference and arguing what’s ‘right/wrong’ positioning is just plain wrong).

But this brings us to a different issue: bad actors and blaming a whole community for a ‘few rotten apples’. I could easily lump this one person in with everyone that does not ship soukoku and deem them all toxic, aggressive, entitled, bullies attempting to harass soukoku shippers off the platform. Or I could see them for what they are, individuals with individual motivations and drives and morals that also happen to share the same shipping preferences. Is it true to say that there are no soukoku fans that engage in the behaviors described by E_C_arts? No, there are definitely those that do, as there are antis that engage in that same behavior against soukoku fans. But this person also asserts that soukoku fans turning ‘every BSD post about soukoku’ is also a toxic behavior. To which I refer you back to one. This is how they engage with and interpret the work. Don’t yuck on someone else’s yum. People want to gush about how cute they thought soukoku were in an official art, or that they felt there was some hidden (or not so hidden) interaction between them that validates their ship, or their inspired to create soukoku content based on it, so what (for the record, it irks me too when people go ‘see it’s canon and Bones totally ships it’, because it’s unlikely, given BSDs genre, that any romantic relationship will be confirmed, soukoku notwithstanding). It is not, in fact, toxic to gush over it. Let them have their fun with it, let them enjoy their ship. Now, if you go and make a comment about liking the art for other reasons and they reply to you about “…but also soukoku”, then still, that��s not toxic, that’s just them enjoying the content the way that they enjoy it, so let them enjoy it, and you opened yourself to engagement without any qualifiers for the type of engagement you were soliciting, you can’t then backtrack and go ‘but I’m not a soukoku shipper, they should’ve been able to read my mind and known that, it’s totally toxic of them to share their personal reasons for loving the show in response to my sharing my love for the show’. But if you comment about another ship, and they reply to you “…ew, gross! It’s 100% soukoku” then yes, that’s toxic. A lot of people fail to make this distinction, that they are, maybe, merely being triggered and not actually harassed, by feeling like their ship isn’t being validated because they see another ship all over the place and everyone they engage with ships it.

It’s also toxic, to take an experience with one person and hold every soukoku shipper in existence responsible for that one person’s inappropriate behavior. The truth is, that bad actors amongst soukoku fans are not unique, not to the ship and not to the fandom and not even to fandom culture in general. Every group in existence everywhere has bad actors in it that, while the group disavows their behavior, they continue to be held accountable for those individuals and judged by them. For current events, look at how the BLM movement has been blamed for bad actors (many of whom were not actually BLM activists) that took advantage of the protests and started riots and chaos. A small percentage of people were involved in these behaviors, but the entire movement, despite speaking out against rioting, continues to take the blame for it. For me, that’s the root of toxicity. We need to start holding individuals accountable and stop blaming people who have no control over those individuals, because they share a few similar beliefs or interests. That’s throwing the baby out with the bathwater. But the shippers as a whole are not to blame for the actions of a few, and the reason that it feels that there are so many more soukoku fans that do this is because of volume, there are so many more soukoku fans. It’s basic math. If two percent of fans are these toxic kinds of shippers, then there’s going to be so many more of them in a larger population than a smaller one.

I try to call out toxic behavior, no matter if it’s my ship being lambasted or one of my fellow shippers doing the lambasting, whenever I see it, but the trouble is, I don’t typically go into fan content that isn’t for my ship and, thus, I don’t see it. The same goes for the vast majority of soukoku fans out there. We’re here for soukoku content, we’re seeking out soukoku content, and avoiding what isn’t soukoku content. But here is my offer to all of those who are outside of my ship. I like to argue. If someone is harassing you for having a non-soukoku ship, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them in no uncertain terms, and in many unpleasant ways, that they do not represent the soukoku shipping community and they are an embarrassment to us. Content for any and all ships is welcomed and encouraged within the fandom. Write, draw, contribute, be a part of the fandom and express yourself, please. If you are a soukoku shipper (or even if you’re not), and someone is harassing you about your top/bottom preference, call me, let me know, I will argue with them for you. I will explain to them why their justifications for which character should be top or bottom in a same sex pairing is grossly misrepresentative and exploitative of the LGBTQ community and rather disgusting. Do not assume that because we seem to remain silent on these types of harassment that it’s because we are in agreement with them, it is only because we haven’t seen them – why would we, we’re not going in those spaces that weren’t created for us. Ask the community for help, don’t attack the rest of us for the poor actions of a few that we were not even aware of. Let us help you in policing them, rather than assuming we don’t care. We are just too busy staying in our lanes, but if you need us, we are here. Majority of us want a clean, friendly, welcoming community for creators of all types as much as you do.

All of this aside, there are spaces and places for these debates and AO3 is not it. Posting this kind of message is actually a violation of AO3 TOS, constituting as harassment, which is defined on the AO3 TOS as “…any behavior that produces a generally hostile environment for its target…”( https://archiveofourown.org/tos#IV.G.). This general behavior also falls into the realm of another kind of toxic fandom behavior: hijacking a platform/tag for your own purposes that is a direct contradiction to its express usage (otherwise, known as trolling). AO3 is for posting fan-made content that contributes to a deeper understanding and expansion upon the original work. Using AO3 to attack people who are using AO3 for exactly what it is designed to be used for is an abuse of the platform. It’s not okay and invites similar content that will ultimately interfere with the original purpose of the platform. AO3 is for fan content, not for your own personal rants about other people in the community, please keep it that way

I do also want to note, that this person choosing to edit their post after receiving the justified ire from fans (notably soukoku and non-soukoku fans alike upset by the audacity of this person, who, as far as can be told, has never themselves contributed fanfiction to the community, to tell people what they can and cannot write) for their original comments, is a form of manipulative abuse called ‘gaslighting’. They are now claiming to be a victim that “never said to stop writing”, despite that having been the literal words they used in the opening of their original post. They are now pointing at these comments as “proof” of their point that soukoku fans are aggressive bullies that attack without cause when there was definitely cause from the original comments. This person clearly has bigger issues than just lacking shipper content for their personal preferences on the BSD fandom.

To all of those who are afraid to share content for your ship because you think you’ll be harassed, as evidenced by this person’s claims, that is simply not true. While there might be one or two people that say something, we all get them no matter if you have a popular ship or a rarepair ship, haters are gonna hate – I’ve gotten my share of hateful comments towards my ships too, but there are many more people that share your ship and are interested in your content, in fact, some of them are starved for it. While having a rarepair might mean you’ll garner less interactions with your content, you have a better opportunity to form a deeper bond with the people that do interact, and they may be more appreciative, because what you’re delivering to them is so much harder to come by. The existence of one ship does not affect your ship’s popularity, and if it simply went away, that doesn’t mean that your ship would receive more attention – in fact, it might mean the show itself would receive less attention.

Create and let others create and use platforms for their appropriate purposes, and most importantly, when it comes to addressing toxic behavior in a fandom, look to yourself first. Are you placing the blame where it belongs? Are you addressing the root cause of the problem or swinging blindly and attacking innocent bystanders in the process? Will what you say actually help the problem? Or will it contribute to the issue, and maybe even create an issue that didn’t exist before?

[animepreferences]

P R E F E R E N C E # 7 - I N S E C U R E



D A Z A I

“To be honest, I don’t love myself.” Your voice would tremble, your eyes closing as you admitted your deepest darkest secret to the love of your life. “I hate everything from my face, to my body, to even my personality sometimes. I feel as if I am constantly putting up a good, convincing facade for you and for everyone else that I love, but the truth is sometimes I’m not strong enough to pretend. A lot of the time I’m downright exhausted.” Dazai would listen to you carefully, thumb rubbing reassuring circles into the palm of your hand. Never once would his eyes leave yours; it was important to him that you knew he was listening. “How can someone like you even love a girl like me?” You would utter, a tear rolling down your cheek miserably. Hand reaching up to brush it away, Dazai would catch your wrist mid reach and lean forward to kiss your tear away himself. “Don’t utter another word.” Dazai would suck in a sharp inhale, staring at you wordlessly. For once, Dazai would be speechless. How could you say such a thing about yourself? Dazai did NOT like it. Not. One. Bit. “I won’t allow you to say such hurtful things to yourself. Y/N, you are beautiful.” Stroking your face with diligence and perceptiveness, Dazai would drink in every last detail as if it were the very last time he would be seeing you. “Every.” Kiss. “Last.” Kiss. “Bit.” Kiss. “Of.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “I love that face. Those eyes, that button nose, those soft lips.” Brushing his fingers over your face, he would lift your chin to give you a gentle kiss to your lips. “I love that body. Those collarbones, those curves, especially those-“

“Dazai.” You would giggle, grabbing his hands that were just about to cup around your breasts. “Sorry, love. Got a little carried away.” He would laugh sheepishly, happy though to see your smiling face. “Most importantly though, I love that heart of yours. I love your willingness to help others, your patience, your understanding, your compassion. You may not think you are perfect, and you may not love yourself, but please know that I do. I love every last inch of you up until I take my very last breath.” Head dipping down to press against your heart, Dazai would let out a thankful sigh at the erratic thumps. He loved when he could hear your heart pound quickly knowing that it was for him and him alone. “Dazai...” You would whisper with difficulty controlling your breathing. “I love you.” Lifting his head to meet yours, your lips would mold against each other in the most pristine way. “I love you, my perfect, beautiful girl.”

-

C H U U Y A

“Why are you looking at yourself like that?” Chuuya would ask innocently, eyebrows knitting together as he watched you examine yourself in the mirror. “Nothing looks good.” You would mutter, ripping the dress off of you as you sunk to your knees, tears flooding quickly to your eyes. “Nothing ever looks good on me. I’m-I’m hideous.” Choking out the words, your head would bury in your hands, shame filling you to the brim. Chuuya would be shocked. No, not shocked. Horrified. Absolutely, positively horrified. Why would you even think such a thing? Why would you even associate yourself with the word ‘hideous’? You of all people? “Y/N...” Chuuya would gape, unable to fully comprehend what he was feeling. Was it sadness? Was it shock? Was it horror? “Don’t. Don’t lie to me, Chuuya. I’m hideous and you know it.” You would say spitefully, shaking your head. With this statement, Chuuya would finally know exactly what it was he was feeling: anger. It was anger. “Stop it. You, stop this right this instance.” Pulling your limp body up by your armpits, he would turn you to face the mirror a little aggressively, his face grave with sincerity. “You tell me what you think is so hideous and I’ll tell you why you are wrong.” Chuuya insisted, going behind you to lift your head so you were forced to stare at your reflection. “Everything.” You would mumble stubbornly, choosing to avert your eyes to his reflection instead. “Everything? Everything, Y/N?” Chuuya would take a deep breath to control his emotions, his eyes closing as a way to ground himself. “So, you mean to tell me that you’re insecure about your face? Your beautiful face? The face that makes my heart melt? Those eyes that I could stare into for hours on end and not even have the slightest of urges to move?” Running his fingers over your cheekbones from behind, he would smile as a blush crept to your cheeks. “Don’t even get me started on that blush of yours. If I could make you blush everyday for the rest of my life I would be the luckiest man to live.” Pinching your right cheek lovingly, he would kiss the top of your head. You were beginning to smile, he could feel the weight of the world slowly lifting from your shoulders and it made him feel like the luckiest man in the world. “And you mean to tell me your body is hideous? This body? These shoulders, this chest, these dips and curves that I love oh so much? Y/N, it goes without mentioning how much I love this body of yours. God, do you even have the slightest idea how you make me feel just by looking the way you do? I’m lucky...I’m so fucking lucky.” Kissing from your neck, to your shoulders, to your collarbone you would let out a soft moan as Chuuya focused in on your soft spot, making deep bruises with his mouth. “Y/N, will you allow me to show you just how beautiful I think you are?” Chuuya would inquire, words hot against your exposed skin. Who were you to say no? Nodding your head weakly, you would let out a small squeak when Chuuya was suddenly lifting you from behind, carrying you to your bedroom eager to show you just how much he loved you hoping in return you would love yourself just as much.

-

A K U T A G A W A

He would be furious. Unequivocally, irreversibly furious. What did you mean you thought you weren’t pretty? What did you mean you were insecure about everything down to the last, nitty-gritty detail? Surely, you were joking with him. Surely, you were giving him a hard time? But that look in your eye...That broken look in your eye told him otherwise. You truly meant what you said. “I can feel your anger.” You would sigh, placing a hand on his shoulder in a comforting way. “But you mustn’t blame yourself, Aku. I’ve always been like this. Before you, with you, after you-“

“You’re wrong.” That statement would rub him the wrong way, his eyes connecting with yours with a vehement passion you’d never quite seen before in your life. “Wrong because there will be no me without you. Wrong because if it’s the last thing I do, you will never have to feel insecure while we’re together. It is my sole purpose to make you feel loved, to make you feel like you’re the most beautiful person in the world and until you feel that way I will have failed you. And I don’t ever want to fail you, Y/N.” Aku would never once break the eye contact he held with you, knowing that the second he could your eyes might wonder allowing yourself to think those self-destructing thoughts once again. And that was simply unacceptable. “I promise you, Y/N, if it is the last thing I do, I will make you look at yourself the same way I look at you. I promise.” Pulling you in for a passionate kiss, a surge of electricity would pulse through your entire body, your body becoming weak under his dominant touch. Instantly, his tongue would lick at your lips before forcing its way through to wrestle with your own. The kiss would be unruly, but determined to make the point it was desperately trying to prove. Furthermore, just as Aku would have wanted, you would have crumbled to dust beneath him as he kissed you with the passion of a thousand suns, simply showing you no mercy. “Jump.” He would growl as his arms hooked beneath you, lifting you so you were forced to straddle his body. After a few intense moments of kissing you with no let up, you would finally pull away from him, head disoriented, breathing ragged and wild. “I love you so much, Y/N. And I’m so, so sorry I have failed you.” Akutagawa would whisper, lips pressing to your forehead as you still continued to fight for your breath, your eyes wild with lust. “You will never let me down, Aku. I love you so very much.” Pressing your forehead against his, Aku would sigh eyes connecting with yours instinctively. He would make you see. Even if it was the last thing he did.

[aarcanechaoss]

3. Strength

We learn some more about our outstanding team and we find that Ryoko is a strong girl... she just lifted Dazai over her shoulder with ease.

Okay Bokuto was actually very funny Ryoko found. Akaashi was a seemingly less dead inside version of Fyodor and she appreciated that greatly.

“Fukami Aoba Johsai’s captain wants to talk to you.” Higuchi said, venom lacing her words. The pinkette rolled her eyes making Akaashi giggle quietly.

“Alright blondie where are they?”

“Don’t call me blondie you hoarder.” She snapped. “Over there in the light blue t-shirt.”

“Yikes someone didn’t get their daily dose of Aku today. Nice chat boys talk soon.”

Oikawa wasn’t stupid enough to say he wasn’t nervous to talk to the pink haired girl, he’s a confident man, stupidly cocky and competitive but he knows when he needs to back down from the alpha dog. Ryoko being the Alpha dog. She was terrifying, even mad dog stared towards their team in awe. They looked friendly enough but Toru Oikawa was astute enough to figure out something was up with the Yokohama team.

Strong

Fast

Incredibly keen

He needed to know and he was going to ask each and every player on that team.

Hirotsu fiddled with his monocle and watched as the students mingled, called parents or friends and generally did their own things, the Fukurodani coach stepped beside him.

“Takeyuki Yamiji.” He says. “Your team is something.”

“Ryuro Hirotsu. Yes they are.” He smiled. “Fukurodani is quite strong too.”

“In comparison to your lot I’ll definitely take that compliment.” The man laughed. “I’m sure you know half the reason Yokohama was invited was so we could learn your plays.”

“We know.” Hirotsu said smugly.

“Then I must ask why agree? Some of us definitely aren’t near your level we were surprised you agreed to join the camp.” Yamiji wondered.

“Let’s just say our lot needs some normalcy. Our school is very much performance based they need to be good at everything they set their minds too. They can do it they are strong kids but a misstep would... uh... anger them. We don’t pressure them to be perfect in any way- we want them to do well... and they enjoy teaching others. The third years like being mentors, the second years want to show off just a little and the first years want to be seen outside of Volleyball. A training camp gives them freedom.” Ranpo interjected.

“Very well said Edogawa.” Hirotsu laughed. Yamiji nodded in understanding.

“Shiratorizawa’s coach needs to be more like you, he’s stuck in his old ways- should have seen his face when your girls weren’t managers.”

“Ugh.” Ranpo sneered. If only they all knew what the Yokohama team really was they’d change their tune.

“Ugh indeed.” Yamiji laughed. “I should go make sure Bokuto isn’t planning on kidnapping Fukami from you he looks so sad now that she’s gone over to Oikawa and their Ace.”

“Perhaps, she has that affect on people.” Hirotsu smiled. She carries a warmth about her that gets hidden by a stone like shell with cracks running through it. The warmth would be a raging fire if not held back.

All of the Yokohama team was like that- they weren’t normal the school made certain they knew that, no one at that school was. Could you even call it a school? Principal Fukuzawa wasn’t entirely pleased by the governments methods of teaching.... non of the teachers were... it’s not teaching if the kids pass out.

Speaking of Hirotsu should go with the other coaches to check on the food Ranpo will be alright alone.

“Oikawa and Iwaizumi right? Blondie sent me over.” The pinkette said lazily. She could see the side eyes of her teammates it’s not like she was going to attack anyone that only happened once and she wholeheartedly believes Twain deserved it.

“Just wanted to meet you. We’ll play against you tomorrow and since we’ll be stuck together for a while maybe become friends?” Oikawa answered. Ryoko snorted at his tone.

“If you have no intentions of being friends don’t pretend I don’t like liars. You seem like a smart guy just ask your questions.”

“Okay fine you got me what gave me away?” Oikawa laughed, genuinely laughed.

“Iwaizumi’s face.” Said Ace went to speak before noticing the quirk on her lips, she was teasing them. “But seriously what’s up milk bread.”

Oikawa spluttered, Iwaizumi snorted and all else who heard snickered quietly. Okay maybe not quietly Tendo found that comment extremely funny.

“Well I was offering a branch of friendship for volleyball note swapping but after that comment.” Oikawa huffed.

“In other words what kind of training do you all do?” Iwaizumi asked.

“Oh- you should talk to Oda and Chuuya on that stuff. I just show up and hit things.” She chuckled. It didn’t seem genuine if the Aoba Johsai players were honest. Her fiery eyes darken slightly, “Honestly we just work well together, like all of you we train each section, play and style to near perfection but again those questions are best for the Captains milk bread.”

“I’m not going to live that down now.” Oikawa grumbled.

“No way milk bread.” Iwaizumi teased. Ryoko twitched and pulled on her braid watching them with an awfully calm watchful gaze, like an animal studying something new. “Let’s let Fukami go back to her team I think her manager wants her.”

Ryoko nodded abruptly and walked back towards the dark haired man she was near attached to.

Fyodor had been watching, as had most of the Yokohama team or at least the Akutagawa’s, Ranpo, Junichiro and coach- who knows what the others were up to... Atsushi was making friends, Chuuya was grumbling to Dazai and Oda with the Karasuno and Nekoma Captains and vices. Ryoko had been with Bokuto and Akaashi but Higuchi had soured her mood (she was now as motioned before speaking with Oikawa and Iwaizumi).

Fyodor often watched, he had no reason to interact unless necessary and no one was coming over to him just yet thankfully. His pale bony fingers played with the silver band on his wrist, it wasn’t a nervous tick or anything just caution. Ryoko and Chuuya wore one too and stupidly many people just assumed they were friend (they are but that’s not the point) ship bracelets. Nope just some spectacular silver bands to keep the three of them controlled.

Purple eyes caught stark grey ones, Chuuya had been thumbing his own bracelet but had made a motion towards Ryoko with his eyes. Fyodor followed till he caught her tense shoulders. The pinkette’s head jerked quickly and only just noticeable to those who knew it was a tick she gained while trying to keep herself controlled- one Chuuya shared. Fyodor didn’t have ticks, he had intelligence and poise... he had a terrible habit to mumble not that anyone would tell him less they face the wrath of their stoic volleyball manager. Ryoko looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to itch at her skin and pull her hair, she was tugging on her braid is that close enough. Her chuckle fell through the air as Iwaizumi called Oikawa milk bread again, more mutters, then the pinkette was soon by his side again.

“Are you alright Ryo?”

“Fine. You? You’re playing with the band again.”

“You noticed?”

“Chuuya is too.” She said pointedly. “I hate wearing it.” She muttered.

“Alright Burnabitch how about we go get dinner.” Fyodor raised a thin brow waiting for the pinkette to get his joke.

“Oh fuck you Rat Bastard it was one time and Kaji deserved it.” She snorted pushing him out the door.

Sakusa watched too, less sternly than Fyodor but definitely more than Atsumu and Osamu were. The trio was off to the side, Atsumu searching for his favourite short ginger (Hinata where are you?).

“You think those two are together?” They heard Lev ask. Yaku hummed in response watching the two Yokohama students walk towards the cafeteria.

“They most certainly aren’t.” Akutagawa scoffed.

“Sound jealous.” Dazai snickered.

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not Dazai.”

“Are too Akuuu!”

“Is the Yokohama team normally this... chaotic? Their energy off the court is so different to their energy on.” Sakusa grumbled.

“It’s like they get to act like kids off the court or something. They aren’t getting in trouble so maybe it’s normal.” Osamu shrugged.

“Maybe. They just were so scary when we played against them.” Atsumu shivered. “Especially their setter... pretty sure he was going to set dunk my face.”

“You were flirting with the female middle blocker.” Sakusa droned.

“HE DID WHAT!”

“That’s you’re cue to run!” Oda yelled gripping what he could of Akutagawa with the arm that wasn’t in a sling.

“Running!”

The evening seemed to go by stagnantly. Everything moving either slowly or too quick bouncing from person to person.

Dinner was nice, sushi and soft drink with some fried chicken if anyone wanted some. Desert was some ice-cream. Pretty simple thankfully. Now everyone was in their designated rooms chatting and messing around until lights out

Atsushi and Tanizaki were bumbling around chatting quietly, Hinata attempted to join but to no avail the two apologised saying their coach sent them a message and ran off. The poor small ginger he was so confused.

“Uh it’s basically bed time man?” Tanaka said as Akutagawa stood to leave.

“Not for me. Good night.”

And with that the door was slammed.

Again the evening felt odd.

“Gin? Ryoko? Higuchi? Where did they go?” Yachi wondered noticing the three empty beds. With hands on her hips she sticks her head out the door but either girl were in sight. “Have any of you seen them?”

“Not since showers.” Kiyoko answered. The girls brows furrowed- where did they go?

“Dazai you can’t go to bed yet.” Oda sighed.

“But I’m tired.”

“No you aren’t dumbass.” Chuuya kicked him.

“Hey what’s going on guys?” Kuroo and Daichi asked.

“We must go coach needs us.” Fyodor answered cryptically. A knock on the door startled everyone.

“Why does this feel like the start of something bad?” Asahi asked quietly before Sugawara whacked him on the head with a mighty negativity be gone.

“Oi Dazai get up lazy ass.”... Ryoko?

“Ryoko?” Bokuto asked with innocent confusion.

“Sup Owlking.” Ryoko grinned with her hands on her hips. “Dazai get up before I make you everyone else has headed over besides you four.”

“I’m going.” Chuuya and Oda said rushing out the door.

“Don’t wanna.” Dazai sung. Fyodor sighed, Ryoko’s eye twitched.

“Don’t say she didn’t warn you.” Fyodor said.

The third years watched as the pinkette strolled into the room slowly towards the seemingly unmovable Dazai and lifted him up.

No struggles or tugs just picked him up and threw him over her shoulder.

The third years sat gobsmacked.

“How?” Oikawa managed to get out.

“I work out.” She winked before sashaying out the door with Dazai swaying and grumbling over her shoulder. Fyodor just sighed again and followed out.

What the hell is up with that team?

[sweet-cynical-writer]

Hi there Zai! How are you? Congratulations on 500 followers! May I request for no.8 with Dazai 🤍 please. Thank you in advance. Have a lovely day/night and stay safe and healthy.

A/N: Hey! I've been in like the most annoying writers block for awhile. ◉‿◉ I'm still trying to get the rest of these out and hopefully this was okay ( ；∀；)

Word count: 681.

Prompt 8: “You're so much more than the mistakes you made.” — Dazai + Platonic

You find yourself wondering if you're even worth living. It's not exactly the most positive thought in the world but, you can't help it. Anytime you would brush off the thought and do something fun or constructive with your negativity, it somehow crept back into your main trail of thought. You hated it. Absolutely loathe it. 

Some days it was just some dust you could brush off, other days it felt like gum stuck in your hair. 

Today, it was like a heavy weight on your heart. Suffocating your chest, making it difficult to breathe. Simple things like personal hygiene or eating became bothersome. Some days you even would spend all day in bed. 

Your phone neglected under your bed, lost and forgotten like your identity. Why did it matter? It's not like you did anyone any favors. You can't remember a time you made someone smile or laugh. But you could remember every time you let someone down. Or times when you made an ass of yourself. 

It won't be much longer until you disappear into nothingness. You were never good enough and you never will be good enough, you thought to yourself bitterly. 

Even when there were several knocks at your door, you couldn't be bothered to get the door. There was silence. Then just when you think they left, the door begins to rattle and the lock clicks. If they showed up to rob and murder you, it didn't matter. You welcomed it really. 

“I know you're in here you dumbass,”

A familiar voice made your ears twitch and heat up at the tips. A friend. An annoying, selfish, womanizer, and alcoholic friend. But a friend nonetheless. 

He found his way to your room and still looked the same. Goofy grin smiling from ear to ear with a mischievous glint in his warm chocolate eyes. His same over worn attire with the familiar beat up trench coat that he would dig his hands into their pockets for his favorite book. 

“There you are. You haven't been answering your phone all week. I wanted to meet up for drinks but I figured something was up when I didn't get a ‘fuck you bandaged dickhead I'm busy’ reply.”

You cracked a smile. It was frustrating because you wanted to be down in the dumps but this man wouldn't let you. He couldn't stand his friend wearing a frown. 

“I forgot to charge my phone is all.”

Bullshit. You didn't care to reply to anyone. You felt that if you replied, you would be ignored or reminded how useless your life is. The irrational fear of being hated and disliked was written all over your trembling body. 

He sat beside you and rested his hand on your head. 

“You don't need to lie to me. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too. Just tell me what I can do as your friend to make you happy.”

When did this start? Why were you letting sadness swallow you whole? When did living for yourself suddenly become so much? 

“I feel like the biggest mistake that shouldn't have been born. I'm such a fuck up, it's not even ha-ha funny. I ruin so much for people around me.”

His facial expression hardened and it was unlike anything you've seen in him before. A little scary in fact from how serious he looked. 

“You're so much more than the mistakes you've made. You've always been more than enough for me. So whoever is making you feel worthless are the ones who should be reflecting on themselves.”

Tears rolled down your hot cheeks. When you inhaled it felt like the first time you breathed properly. You are more than enough for a friend who actually cares about you. 

It doesn't matter about the countless other people who tell you that you're overbearing or too emotional. Dazai accepted you for who you are. Someone who obviously knows what it's like to feel like a mistake. And he would do anything to make sure you don't feel the extent of what he did.