#I hate what this series has done to me I don't usually ship like this lol

[kaxtwenty]

The severe lack of Rain x Allenby content has left me shocked and disappointed with this fandom.

This show’s been out for thirty years. How the fuck was I only able to find ONE piece of fan art for them across like, 4 websites and it's from last year!

We're a yuri fandom now, I demand we do better.

[thankskenpenders]

Help me out here: Why is there so much Ian Flynn hate going around lately? I thought everyone loved that he was contributing to the games. Now suddenly they aren't. I guess that's par for the course for this series but I don't get it. He isn't perfect but I like what he's done. Am I a weirdo?

Ian Flynn has always had a lot of fans, but any creator putting their work out there is going to have detractors as well. That's just the nature of being an artist. To some extent, it's no big deal. He's not a perfect writer. Nobody is! I consider myself a fan of his work, but I've criticized plenty of individual writing decisions from him on here.

But Ian doesn't just have critics. He has his own obsessive hatedom. And the specific nature of Ian's hatedom is... interesting.

A decade ago, Ian was only the guy writing for Archie Sonic, meaning any debates over his work were quarantined within that tiny niche of the larger Sonic fandom. Only people who kept up with the comics month to month had any real reason to have an opinion on the guy, which means we're talking about merely thousands of fans as opposed to millions.

Within that group, he had some haters. You had the people who were mad about story changes made during his run, particularly things like ancillary characters getting killed off (although over the years we've learned that most of those were editorial mandates from Mike Pellerito). You had the people mad that Ian didn't push their favorite ship, with feuding SonAmy and Sonally fans claiming that he was CLEARLY biased towards one or the other. You had the people who just really, really liked one of the previous writers way more - usually Penders, as hard as that may be to believe today. That sort of thing. Pretty normal comic fandom type stuff. Again, it comes with the territory.

Unfortunately, many of those haters only got worse over time, morphing into reactionaries who constantly try to incite Comicsgate type culture war bullshit.

There are people still mad at Ian for making Sally bi and pairing her with Nicole instead of Sonic in the later Archie comics. There have been elaborate MS Paint red string conspiracy boards explaining how people like Ian and Jon Gray have apparently been destroying the franchise from the inside for years by Making Sonic Woke. (Jon gets dragged into this because people are still mad about him drawing The Slap 20 years later. Yes, really!!) There was an unhinged change.org petition trying to get Ian fired, specifically from people who were mad that the Freedom Fighters aren't in the IDW comics. There was even a very sad little fan campaign from these people trying to get Sega to move the Sonic comic license away from IDW and over to Udon, because they thought Udon would bring Sally and Bunnie back and also make them sexy again. There's a lot of this.

(Unfortunately, Penders has also exacerbated this by gossiping about Ian on Twitter and giving these fans ammo, but that's a whole 'nother discussion.)

The thing is, for years, people who only played the games or watched the cartoons had no reason to pay attention to any of this. Now, though, Ian isn't just writing for some weird spinoff comics that only the super nerds read. Now he's writing comics that are canon to the games, and ALSO some of the games themselves, and ALSO consulting on other tie-in media like Sonic Prime, and ALSO writing the official Sonic encyclopedia, and ALSO serving as part of the new Sonic Lore Team at Sega. And on top of all this, he's got an increasingly popular podcast where he fields questions about his work on all of these things, which serves as one of the fandom's main windows into creative decisions being made behind the scenes.

As a fan of Ian's work, it's been really cool to see him rise in prominence. But the dark side of this is that his obsessive haters from the Archie days now have WAY more of a potential audience of their own. Now, every Sonic fan has to have an opinion on Ian. What this frequently means is that you'll have the Comicsgate types taking things Ian writes or says out of context, attempting to get more of the general fandom to yell at the guy.

Unfortunately, there are a wide variety of Sonic fans who take the bait:

You've got hardcore fans who disliked basically any recent piece of Sonic media and are looking for someone to blame.

You've got the people who are concerned about the sanctity of Sonic's canon, who shoot the messenger any time Ian mentions a new retcon from Sonic Team on the podcast - or any time he even mentions the THOUGHT of changing anything about the canon, as we saw recently with the Sol Dimension nonsense.

You've got people who romanticize some sort of mythical artistic vision that Sega of Japan supposedly has (or had) for the franchise. To many of these fans, American contributors like Ian just don't "get" the heart of the series and are trying to turn Sonic into something different. (This "heart of the series" tends to be some mix of Japanese instruction manual lore, the cinematics from Sonic CD, the OVA, and/or the games written by Shiro Maekawa, depending on what Sonic media the fan in question grew up with.)

You've got fans of specific characters or ships who pin the blame for how their faves are depicted entirely on Ian - most vocally fans of Shadow, even though the root problem is that Sonic Team hasn't known what to do with Shadow since 2006. At best this stops at regular old criticism, but at its worst this devolves into claims that Ian has an agenda against certain characters.

You've got fans annoyed by a perceived over-emphasis on comic-original characters in the IDW comics, ignoring the obvious facts that these characters exist because the game cast is so tightly controlled by Sega, and also, you know, that people just like the IDW characters and want more stories about them.

You've got a LOT of discourse over IDW's Sonic being a hero who tries to give his enemies second chances, as if half of Sonic's closest friends aren't already former villains and rivals. Honestly this is very transparently just reheated Steven Universe discourse lmao

You'll also see people who just think they could do Ian's job better. They can't believe that THIS GUY is the American fan working on all these Sonic projects, when clearly THEY understand the characters and lore and themes SO much better than this charlatan.

All it takes is for someone in one of these categories to be unhappy about some recent piece of Sonic media, and for them to come across an out of context quote or comic panel that rubs them the wrong way, and suddenly the leftist Zoomer Sonic fans will join the latest dogpile on Ian alongside the reactionary Comicsgate types who are mad at him for Making Sonic Woke.

In general, when fandoms get upset, they tend to want a scapegoat. A person or two to point a finger at and go "THAT's who ruined the thing I love!" This tends to be based less on reality and more on which contributors are the most visible online. You'll sometimes see teenage and adult fans of children's cartoons single out a storyboarder who's particularly vocal on Twitter, blame them for every story decision they don't like, and harass them off the platform out of a sense of retribution for their favorite ship or whatever. Failing that, fans might choose to blame every nitpick, down to individual lines of dialogue and frames of animation, on a showrunner, just because that's the name they associate with the show. And unfortunately, when it comes to Sonic, Ian is now arguably the most prolific and outspoken contributor on the English speaking internet, and therefore a common scapegoat.

Some of the things I've seen Ian blamed for are truly wild. A lot of people have claimed for YEARS that he's just lying about the existence of creative guidelines and restrictions from Sega - or, as fans call them, The Mandates - even though they're just an inherent aspect of working on a licensed property. Others claim that The Mandates are real, but somehow Ian's fault. A vocal minority of fans have convinced themselves that Ian is the sole reason the Freedom Fighters don't exist in the IDW comics, even though Ian says he's been pushing to bring them back since day one.

Sometimes you'll see people say he ruined shit he didn't even work on. A few weeks ago on Twitter I saw someone claim that Ian had written a rejected script for Sonic Forces in which Tails died. I could not find a source for this for the life of me. As far as I can tell, the rumor seems to have been born from an alleged leaked script for Forces with margin notes from Aaron Webber that criticized the way Tails was written, and also an old tweet where Aaron joked that Tails would die in an upcoming episode of Sonic Mania Adventures. These merged into "Aaron Webber criticized a draft of the Forces script in which Tails died." How'd Ian get dragged into this? Who fucking knows!

It's all just a big game of telephone. All it takes is some asshole to make something up about Ian on Twitter or YouTube or a DeviantArt journal or some forum, and at least a couple people will believe it, and then it gets repeated as fact. Again, this used to be contained by the niche nature of the Archie Sonic fandom, but now there are WAY more people who are receptive to this shit.

It's just sad to me that Ian tries to be so open and honest about his work, to try to explain the rationale for certain things, to keep fans looped in on the direction the franchise is headed, and this just gives the Flynnspiracy types more quotes to take out of context and try to paint him as the devil. If it sounds like I'm being overly defensive and dismissing his critics, man... some of the things I've seen people say directly to him are just unbelievable. People will send paragraphs-long angry screeds in to his podcast that completely tear him apart, and he has to sit there and be like "Well, that's your opinion, and you're entitled to it." People literally pay for special guest interview episodes where they just rapid fire complaints about his writing at him directly to his face. I don't know how he does it. I would snap.

All of this over Sonic the fucking Hedgehog of all things.

I don't know how to wrap this up. Engaging with fandoms online is very tiring, which is why I tend not to do it. Things like this are too common. I guess, just... remember that making art collaboratively is a complicated thing. The people involved are generally trying their best given the circumstances, but they're only human. They make mistakes. But please treat them like humans. Criticism and dogpiling are not the same thing.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for blocking and moving on?

I (18M) am in a variety of discord servers, many of which have overlapping members, one of which being who we'll call Alina (18F). Alina has currently been obsessed with some new franchise that I don't care about— I watched the movies and I thought they were hot garbage and dumb, but enjoy what you want, I don't care if you like it even if I hated it. Just don't show it to me.

The thing is... she's been posting about it EVERYWHERE. Fanart she's done, posts on Twitter she likes, "Oh I love the ship between the two main characters! They're so great, don't you all agree?" I've already unfollowed her on Tumblr and I don't use Twitter, but seeing her post about it all the time has been driving me nuts.

I don't want to tell her I want her to stop posting it everywhere because we share a majority of servers, so I just blocked her on Discord (which hides all messages they send in the servers, I can usually tell which channels she's talking about it in so I can unclick in others).

She found out I had her blocked when she pinged me, asking about my IRL LIFE to see what I felt about the movie series she likes, which creeped me out (she was asking me to go out and take photos of a place for her because she had a mutual who went there for the movie series; she is Western(?) Canadian and I live on the East Coast of America). She asked one of her friends to DM me for her, getting furious about how I blocked her for no reason. I told her that I don't like seeing stuff for her movie series which is why I blocked her, and she got furious at me, saying I should talk to her (I told her I didn't want to impose on her fun) and I shouldn't just go blocking people (I can still see your messages, it's just opt-in now).

AITA for this?

What are these acronyms?

[animeredhead101]

Minor Ships DP x DC Crossover

Duke Thomas / Danny Fenton

You Are a Monster (But So Am I) by TheWrittingOwl :

Gotham was not known for its snowy weather. Sure, they'd get decent snowfall in time for Christmas, and they often fell victim to the east coast blizzards, but never had they had snow earlier than Thanksgiving. Of course, it's while Duke is doing his Halloween patrol that a freak blizzard hits Gotham. As he waits for someone to relieve him for the night patrol, he comes across something... strange in the snow. The weather may be strange, but it is still Halloween. AKA 5 Times Duke denies he's a monster fucker and 1 Time he kisses the monster Word Count: 16,046 Completed

Cassandra Cain / Danny Fenton

lex luthor's ascent from supervillainy to fatherhood by halfgone(milkywxy) :

Based on this Tumblr prompt.

Lex Luthor has recently acquired a son. Weapon? Parole officer? ...Lex now has a teenaged god and he'll be damned if someone tries to take the kid away from him.

Word Count: 519,936 On-going

I wasn't expecting this fic but I love it! I usually hate Lex Luthor but I love how the author developed his character with Danny. One of my new favorites for sure!

Kon-El | Conner Kent / Danny Fenton

play it cool for you by aschriles :

Just because Tim had gone and got himself a boyfriend didn't mean Kon had to go and get himself a... whatever the heck he and Danny had going on. Fuck buddies. They were fuck buddies. Word Count: 18,409 Completed

Eat the Acid by DisillusionedDanny :

When Elle decided to introduce Danny to her new clone friend Conner, she was expecting a new brother. Not a new brother-in-law. Tie that in with some clone chaos, best friends Vlad and Lex, and a baby, and Conner and Danny are in for a ride of a lifetime. It could have only been fate that caused them to meet when they did.

Word Count:24,788 Completed

Seeing Double by Scififan33 :

What do you do when you find out you aren't who you always thought? Jazz knew it was the chance to get Danny away from their Phantom obsessed parents and Danny was just in shock. Hopefully, he'd be allowed to explain but why would he want Danny around? Word Count: 20,098 On-going What do you do when you find out you aren't who you always thought? Jazz knew it was the chance to get Danny away from their Phantom obsessed parents and Danny was just in shock. Hopefully, he'd be allowed to explain but why would he want Danny around? Word Count: 20,098 On-going

Thomas Wayne / Danny Fenton

Mourning a Young Soul Leads to Shared Custody by Olive_of_Vanders :

Danny was given a choice.

Become King or parent a ghost kid. Ghost kid sounded a lot more easier to him.

Word Count: 41,929 Completed

John Constantine / Danny Fenton

Completed

And My Exes, They Haunt Me by JoyLess_NightSky :

"Look, mate-" "Don't call me mate. That's weird." "Right. Your highness-" "That's even weirder. But, fine. Go on?" John sighed, obviously done with the interruptions. "This isn't just about us, luv. Alright? I get why you're angry, but me mates need ya. Heck, the whole bloody damn world needs ya! The twat that came through is very much about to do the whole bloody world domination schtick ya kept Pariah from doin'. That ain't something you're alright with, is it now?" The summoned man gave Constantine an unimpressed look. "If it's you asking? I might make an exception." OR: The Justice League is in over their heads with the new enemy. They need help, and Constantine may know a guy. But the guy… doesn't really like Constantine a lot right now. Word Count: 2,914

On-going

Lair of the Mysterious Reaper by Joshua2000 :

Danny's lair is the House of Mystery. When he enters it for the first time, he finds John Constantine and Zatanna Zatara occupying it. Between being the ghost king, the reaper of the souls of heroes and keeper of the balance Danny really needs a break. Based on a series of prompts by Sleepy (LonelyLittleWhiteRabbit) Original prompt here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45336712/chapters/114063079#workskin

Word Count: 6,815

Like and Survive- Phantom’s Guide to Young Hero Survival by robinasnyder :

When the world becomes aware of teenaged superheroes there is an immediate and fierce wave of backlash and controversy. That's where Phantom comes in. Phantom saved the world from a meteor fifteen years back; an impressive feat back in the day but now that meteors threatening all life on earth is such a common event that hardly anyone thinks about it. Phantom is considered an old timer who deals with a small city and nowhere else. When he begins uploading videos with advice for young heroes, he hopes a few new heroes might avoid some of the pain he went through. He's shocked at just how popular his advice suddenly becomes. Word Count: 306,940

[cha-melodius]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thanks to @ninzied for the tag!

How many works do you have on ao3?

120!

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,371,932

What fandoms do you write for?

RWRB, TMFU, Lokius

Top five fics by kudos:

Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood

Nova, Baby

Class(room) Warfare

All the Old Showstoppers

Always Where I Need To Be

Do you respond to comments?

I try. I used to be very good at responding but my backlog has gotten extreme (1491 unanswered comments as of right now, if you're curious) so at this point I pretty much only answer if it's a chapter in an ongoing multichap, or someone asks a question.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I have a caradin fic that's straight up a break-up fic with no resolution, but I still feel like my angstiest is probably Black Moon (napollya), because they're in love but the situation is so fucking bleak. Sorry guys.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Any of them that end with a proposal lol? I've got a lot of fluffy fics and all of my long fics end with pure fluff, so I don't think I could pick out one.

Do you get hate on fics?

I have been lucky not to really get any, at least lately. I've gotten... less than polite comments, of course, but no outright hate (knock on wood).

Do you write smut?

Yes, although I would not say it's an integral part of my writing tbh.

Craziest crossover:

Craziest might be Maybe, This Time, which is a Mandalorian/BSG crossover that involves dimension-hopping lol.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I've had a few of my TMFU works translated and now there's someone in the RWRB fandom that translates most (!!) of my fics into Mandarin, which is mind blowing and flattering and I'm so grateful because I've gotten comments from people who have read them translated and loved them.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet!

All time favorite ship?

I don't think I can pick one; some of my past ships are just that—past—but there are a few I will carry in my heart forever.

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

If I want to finish it, I will, even if it takes a long time. I might stop wanting to finish a wip, but that's not the question is it?

What are your writing strengths?

Banter/dialogue, action, pacing, plots. People have told me that they can picture my scenes like a movie because of the description and that makes me feel good.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Although I have my moments, I don't really tend to think of my writing as beautiful. I'm just not that poetic/lyrical.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Sure! If it's in my own fic I usually have a native speaker look over it (I haven't done this lately but I have gotten Russian consults for TMFU fics).

First fandom you wrote in?

Xena: Warrior Princess, back when that show was airing. Fanfic primarily distributed over internet mailing lists and posted on your own website.

Favorite fic you've written?

Stealing Nina's idea and doing one in each of my main fandoms I've written in because it's hard to pick (even then this was rough).

Nova, Baby Series—Spy AU, Firstprince

Love is a Losing Game—Chess AU, Napollya (SHOCKER I KNOW)

What Makes a Good Man Series—Spy AU, Lokius

Here It Goes Again—The Mandalorian (Caradin but mostly Din character study in a time loop)

I'm not sure who's been tagged and who hasn't or even everyone who has done this, but a few tags below the cut. If you'd like to do it, jump in!

@kiwiana-writes, @rmd-writes, @three-drink-amy, @cricketnationrise, @14carrotghoul

@leaves-of-laurelin, @tintagel-or-cockleshells, @inexplicablymine, @firenati0n, @liminalmemories21

@orchidscript, @sparklepocalypse, @loki-is-my-kink-awakening, @mirilyawrites, @heytheredeann

@nicijones, @justabigoldnerd, @myheartalivewrites

[iouinotes]

Heroic Betrayal | Luke Castellan (part 3)

PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS SERIES AND THE BOOKS SPOILERS

pairing: Luke Castellan x female!reader

show: Percy Jackson and the Olympians

warnings: dark!character, betrayal, angst

summary: You meet Luke again in battle. But nothing turns out the way either of you expect.

a/n: The third part, yayyy! Somehow I still can't figure out the end. But as long as no one complains, I won't stop :))

I'm breathing heavily, my feet hurt and I'm struggling to stand properly on my legs. The wound on my arm hurts, I can feel the blood running down my arms. My shirt is soaked red. I feel the strong urge to cry and I'm amazed that I can still breathe. Everything around me is spinning, but the fear keeps me running.

I know he's ahead of me. That I'm chasing after him. His golden sword reflects shadows in our surroundings. Any person with enough sense would hide.

But Im done hiding. I want to fight.

Maybe I'm a coward for admitting this now, but I was hoping my friends would be by my side.

My friends…I hope they're okay. I lost sight of them almost immediately when Krono's troops stormed out of the forest and attacked the camp. I only had time to listen to Annabeth's orders and the next thing I knew, I was in the center of the fight.

And then there was Luke.

He was standing there just like he did a few days ago when he showed up here at camp and begged me to come with him. But the idea of being back on that ship scared me more than anything. The thought of being near the Titan.

Close to him who betrayed me.

He doesn't really look any different now, perhaps more angry and murderous than usual. It's enough to wake me from my trance. Because the look in his eyes is darker than the deepest night and it sends a cold shiver down my spine. I'm not running away anymore, I tell myself at that moment.

But just as I'm about to go in his direction, he disappears behind a couple of monsters. I pay little attention to that, only trying to find him again.

I can't let him get away.

So I follow his tracks, stab some of his warriors and make them disappear into smoke. I'm so angry that my jaw is grinding, because I'm clenching my teeth so hard. Then I see his figure behind some trees and suddenly I'm filled with energy. I draw my sword with newfound strength and run towards him.

Until my lungs feel like they're on fire. And yet I don't slow down. I forget how deep I'm going into the forest. I slowly lose my sense of direction as to where I am, even though this has always been our place.

Hidden behind trees, bushes and naiads. Now the branches are on fire, smoke is in the air and there are no friendly forest dwellers to be seen. I stop when I see a flash of golden light to my left. Hope rises in me that Percy has found me.

But as soon as I see his dark hair, everything tightens inside me. I stop and raise my sword protectively in front of me.

"Stop running away! I thought you wanted to fight?" He leans his shoulder casually against a tree, his smile making me seethe with anger.

"Princess, I'm not running away. I was just shielding you from the others." My pulse quickens, adrenaline coursing through me. My grip on the weapon tightens.

"Then what are you waiting for? Come and get me!" I see him shake his head.

"Are you so naive that you seriously believe that? You're not here to be killed." My eyebrows draw together and I shift my weight uncomfortably.

"Then why?"

"I'm doing you a favor. I don't want you to watch your friends walk to their certain deaths." Silence spreads over us. Then his voice cuts through.

"Face it, you're doomed. I'll give you one last chance. Join me."

I hate myself for it, but I hesitate. And I hate it even more that he notices.

,,You friends will never consider it, they will lose. You cant imagine how weak they are compared to Kronos. And I dont-" for a moment, he seems to be uncertain. He presses his lips together and walks a step towards me.

"I would hate myself for eternity, if I allow myself to lose you."

My heart hurts, it's beating in my chest as if it wanted to show me how much I miss him. But could I listen to my heart, even though my mind tells me the opposite?

“How can I trust you again? How can we ever go back to where we where? You and me, we are not the same as before.“ My voice seems drained, my desperation seeks through my facade.

I try not to show him, how I feel. How much I wish for us to get back together. Him telling me jokes, us laughing. Kissing in the sun, after we won Capture the Flag. Playing hide and seek in the woods, hugging and touching each other.

Being in love.

“Dont you want a future with me? Imagine a home, a safe place. Just for us. Against the world.“ He makes it seem so easy. As if the world we know, wouldnt be falling apart in this moment.

“So whats the plan? Fighting against your friends and family? Being Kronos slave?“ He‘s silent for a moment.

“You were always my only family. I only need you by my side.“

„I dont believe you. You are the one who lied to me. I wouldnt lie to you. I would have never left you in the first place.“

"I can't do it without you." I scrunch my eyebrows, how dare he ignores my accusations?

"What are you talking about?" He hesitates.

"I wont be here much longer. Well-thats not really true. My body will still exists, but I wont be myself anymore."

"Dont try to mess with me! You said yourself, you will fight in the war."

"I will, darling. But you wont know me."

"I-I dont understand." He's just an arm's length away from me. His gaze is distant.

"Kronos will awake. He needs a body, so his soul or whatever he has, can dive into. Sort of a reborn-kind-of-thing. And it will be me."

I'm so shocked that I'm unable to react. Hundreds of thoughts stream through my head, the thought of losing him - it's unbearable.

"You wont." His eyes shift from the floor to my face. There is astonishment hidden in his eyes.

"Exuse me?" This time I take the final step closer to him. His face is right in front of mine, both of our swords are drawn at our sides.

"I swear on the Ryver Styx, I wont ever, as long as I live, let you trade yourself to that thing and let you- the real you, die in the process. You just wont." My wild expression is reflected in his pupils. Silence surounds us, then a small, genuine smile that I haven't seen in months spreads across his face.

As if he had all the time in this world, he leans down and stops himself in front of my lips. It's the first time since he left camp that he silently asked me for permission.

,,I love being in love with you." His whispering voice ghosts over me.

I close my eyes and connect our lips. A sweet, slow kiss ensues, his fingers hold my chin up to him.

How could I ever resist him?

When he pulls away, he presses two quick kisses to the corners of my mouth. He calmly pushes a strand of hair out of my face, our eyes watching each other.

"I wish the gods didn't exist. I wish no one existed but us."

As I'm about to answer, I see golden curls behind his back. Percy's appearance surprises me so much that I forget Luke's words for a moment.

I pull myself together as soon as his voice sounds again. "I know you don't see it that way. But if Kronos destroys the gods, if there is a chance to reshape the world, maybe then we could have a chance at peace. Dont you think?"

There is so much hope in his eyes that I would finally believe him, join him in his unattainable dreams.

When my eyes meet Percy's, his look tells me exactly one thing: Distract him.

I love Luke. But I have put my faith in Percy.

So I nod slowly. Silently agreeing with Percy and making it seems, that I agree with Luke. I see how Luke's entire body straighten, his eyes glow with a new light.

He seems happy.

I almost fall in love with him again.

"I knew you would understand when the time is right. I knew it! God, I love you so much." His hands cup my cheeks, he kisses me. So intense that I forget my fears and doubts. I forget that Percy is standing behind him.

Luke's adoring look is the last thing I register before Riptide crashes over his head and the boy I love falls unconscious to the ground.

⚔️⚔️⚔️⚔️

"He is dangerous." Annabeth's voice is the only thing that can be heard clearly in the room. Murmurs, footsteps and rustling are like a rushing background noise. My head hurts.

It's been almost two hours since we were in the forest. I tried to catch Luke's body so he wouldn't hit his head, as he fell to the ground. I didn't really succeed, because now he has a small cut on his forehead.

Percy and Beckendorf helped me bring him to our destroyed camp. But not in the infirmary, instead they dropped him in a cell. I protested, but no one wanted to give him the opportunity to be free and possibly escape.

That's why they locked the door and the sight almost broke my heart. Silena said I shouldn't be here, shouldn't see him like that. But I couldn't leave him alone.

The only time I left was to go to the infirmary, so I could get a first aid kit to treat his wound. Then I had a hard time convincing Percy to let me into his cell.

Now I'm sitting on the floor with his head in my lap, brushing his hair out of his face. They are longer and darker, his face looks older and more exhausted. And I treated the wound on his forehead as best I could, after all, I'm not a child of Apollo.

The scar on his cheek glows faintly red in the light, and I carefully run my fingers over it. Just like I always did when he was stressed. I try to ignore the judgmental looks from others. The withering looks “How can she be with the traitor?" But none of them dare to talk to me about it.

Only Percy looks at me warily, as if I wasn't much older and he was the one who needed to protect me. He really is like a brother to me.

When he also notices the looks of the others and therefore my discomfort, he gestures with his hand to leave us alone. Even if he stays there. It's quiet for a moment.

"You can go to Annabeth. I'll be fine." I look at him, trying to make it clear to him that I'm fine. But he doesn't look convinced.

"He'll be angry when he wakes up. I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be in there." I sigh, my eyes returning to Lukes sleeping face.

"I think it's sweet that you care. But Luke wouldn't-" I stop in my sentence. For a moment I am in doubt. Luke would be angry, of course he would be. And after everything, can I be sure he won't hurt me? This question would never have been considered before. But now?

He never physically hurt me. But he lied to me, betrayed me. Kidnapped and gaslighted me, basically tried to force me to stay with him. He wasn't the same anymore. So how could I be sure?

"He won't let anyone talk to him when he's in here alone. He's too stubborn for that. I'm the only one he would listen to. And even of that I'm not sure." Percy's eyebrows furrow. He looks not much more relieved than he was a minute ago.

"Well, now I'm definitely convinced." His sarcasm makes me smile. And I think that's enough to calm him down.

"I'm sure Annabeth is looking for you right now. Please go, Percy. Let me pretend I have everything under control for a moment." He hesitates, but nodds quietly. His fading footsteps are the last thing I hear before I feel sudden movements in my lap.

My eyes dart towards him. A painful groan escapes his throat, the sound is enough to make my heart beat faster.

Without thinking, I stroke his hair and scratch his head. He always liked this tender gesture. I hope it's enough to temper his anger, which I know is to expect in time.

As his eyes slowly open, I see the disorientation in them. Then he realises what happend. When he sees me, I make out different emotions in the way he looks at me. Fury, sadness, pain.

"I'm sorry." My voice is just a whisper in the silence. As he tries to sit up, I see his strength pulling at him and his face turning pale.

"Wait- you still need to rest. Here" I take the water bottle that Percy put in front of me and carefully hold it to his mouth. He slowly drinks a few sips.

When he's done, I put the bottle back to the side. I look at him, waiting, while my hand remains still.

"You are here." It's not what I expected to hear from him.

I meet his gaze, clearly confused.

"You never liked waking up alone." My voice sounds breathless, an old memory haunts his face.

"Still, I would have thought you would be standing next to Percy, laughing. If you finally have the opportunity to lock me up, I mean." His voice drips with hostility at the mention of Percy, the look in his eyes dark. But at least he doesn't try to stand up again for now.

"I would never do that." He knows it's true.

His eyes look away, his cheek turning to his right side to gaze through the bars. Light falls into the cell.

"You tricked me." It's not an accusation, just a statement.

"I guess we're even." He stays silent when I answer.

"You will not hold me prisoner." I just look at him confused. I don't know how to answer. Does he think the cell is just an unpleasant stay until he can sleep in his cabin again?

Since he doesn't say anything more, I do the same. A few minutes pass, both of us dont know what to say, then distant footsteps are heard and I see Percy again. As sweet as he naturally is, he first looks at me to see if everything is alright. Then his gaze turns to Luke and when he realizes he's awake, his eyes harden. But I see the sadness in them.

After all, Luke was his friend too.

"Percy." Luke's voice sounds malicious, as if he would like to get up and destroy the bars himself to fight Percy.

"Luke." Percy's voice is neutral. Only his facial expression reveals what he feels. He is angry.

The two boys stare at each other and I feel myself getting nervous, so I clear my throat to get their attention.

"What's the plan? Can we get out?" I choose my words carefully. So that Percy knows what I mean and Luke knows that I don't just want to get out myself.

Luke sits up and I see how much effort it takes him. I let him, because I also know that he doesn't want my help in front of Percy. Guys.

Percy hesitates. He also tries to choose his words carefully.

"I don't think we can just let him walk around here-" his voice is interrupted by Luke.

"You won't keep me prisoner in here, Percy. Anyone who has a problem with me should raise their sword against me."

Percy's eyebrows shoot up. “Then good luck competing against the whole camp. I'm sorry, but I cant let you out."

Luke's withering look makes me quickly stand next to him. I try to calmly put my hand on his arm. But faster than I can register, he has me trapped in his arms and is holding my own dagger to my throat. I didn't even notice he stole it from me.

The pressure is so tight that it's hard for me to breathe. I'm frozen. Percy also looks like he's just been struck by lightning.

"Let. Me. Out." I feel my eyes start to water.

"Luke-" but his grip only tightens and my voice falls silent. I feel his eyes stare daggers at Percy's.

"Now." Before I can stop Percy, he takes out the key. But unlike Luke, Percy's gaze is on me. Concern is shown in his eyes.

The door opens and I feel Luke's grip weaken. I see it as my only chance. I step on Luke's foot as hard as I can, pushing him away, while the dagger meets my skin, a suprised grunt escaping him.

I run towards the door and before I can even say anything, Im out and Percy pushes it shut again.

Luke's angry voice mixes with the rapid heartbeat in my ears. I feel Percy's hands on my shoulders and him trying to make eye contact with me.

But all I can do is look at Luke. Seeing his eyes blinded with anger, it scares me.

Before he can say anything else, I turn around and run out of the building.

Please comment how you would like the story to end! Thanks <333

[anincompletelist]

twenty questions for fic writers

thanks to @cricketnationrise @happiness-of-the-pursuit @kiwiana-writes

@ninzied @captainjunglegym for the tags friends! it's been a while since I've last done one of these so I figured I would participate again! xx

+

how many works do you have on ao3?

56! (technically 60 though… 😏🤫)

what's your total ao3 word count?

1,248,687

what fandoms do you write for?

RWRB (currently) [ 1D and teen wolf (past) ]

top five fics by kudos:

but if you could see us from a distance you'd know I've always been so close to you - the og sex curse one shot

Something Borrowed, Something Blue - enemies to lovers at june's wedding

I'll bet it all on me and you, I'll bet it all you're bulletproof - coworkers trivia fluff

praying our bridges don't make waves - soulmates with a twist

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be - roommates to lovers fluff

do you respond to comments?

nowhere near as much as I'd like to! my capacity for social interaction lately has been... lacking, to the say the least ksjhdkshd BUT I SEE AND READ THEM ALL AND I HOLD THEM SO CLOSE <3333

what is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

ooh I can't usually do angsty endings so I'm carving my own loophole here -- the first two fics in the sex curse series are definitely my most angsty endings before they work their shit out in the third skjdhsjkhd

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

most of mine do, but I'd say that overall the most fluffy ones are in the firstprince first kisses series!

do you get hate on fics?

I most definitely did in my old fandom but people have been generally very kind and supportive to me here so far! :')

do you write smut?

yes!

craziest crossover:

my george x firstprince hurt/comfort is very special to me <3

(but I also have a Jeff from bottoms x Shane from minx au in the docs so ksjhdhfjh that too)

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not!

have you ever had a fic translated?

not in this fandom! but I have had some lovely folks record some podfics of my works! (here and here!)

have you ever co-written a fic before?

not for rwrb! (yet???? ksjhdkjhfkjh)

all time favorite ship?

I gotta go with fp! they got me like that niall horan ear crawling gif fr I'll never be the same

what's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh gosh I'm not sure. I HOPE I finish them all but I also have an obscene amount so ksjhdksjdhf not crossing anything off yet!

what are your writing strengths?

I think dialogue? it's always the part of my fics that I write first, and then I build the rest of the story around it. I hope it's a solid foundation!

what are your writing weaknesses?

there's a fine line between explaining and over-explaining and I think sometimes I fall into the second category skjdhkjhf. I love some introspection as much as the next guy but I'm working on only including details that feel most pertinent to the story.

thoughts on dialogue in another language?

I love it! I think it can be so special and can be another way to connect readers with the characters and the story. I took Spanish all four years of high school so I'm a little rusty now, and studied French for a while a few years ago and just picked it back up recently! my translations aren't always perfect but luckily I've had some very kind people to check or point these things out for me :)

first fandom you wrote in?

..... hollywood heights sjkhdjkhgdfh

favorite fic you've written?

oh no. I am so bad at perceiving myself ksjhdjkdjfhg. I think each of my fics definitely served a purpose for me while writing them, but lately I've found myself returning to these three (I'm breaking the rules yes sorry):

Something Borrowed, Something Blue

there were pages turned with the bridges burned (everything you lose is a step you take) - diabetic!Alex

treading water in the deep, just waiting for the tides to meet -(soulmates)

but also there's a wip I'm working now which..... might take first place when I post skjdhkjsdh WE'LL SEE!

+

PLEASE PLEASE CONSIDER THIS OPEN TAG IF YOU'D LIKE TO DO IT! with all of the tumblr nonsense and how behind I've been on here lately I'm all over the place with tags at the moment.

other tags (no pressure!): @firenati0n @nocoastposts @wordsofhoneydew @thedramasummer

@heysweetheart-writes @stellarm @suseagull04 @bigassbowlingballhead

@eusuntgratie @magicandarchery @read-and-write- @iboatedhere

@anchoredarchangel @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @alasse9 @itsmaybitheway

@getmehighonmagic @rmd-writes @sparklepocalypse

xx

[sp00kymulderr]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for the tags @maggiemayhemnj @perotovar @freelancearsonist @schnarfer 💗

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

55, I don't post everything there because I usually forget it exists, but it also has some of my older works on it from other fandoms. I don't really get ao3 - it just sort of feels like shouting into a void.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

93,343 (cannot write long fic to save my life)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

PPCU my beloved

4. Top five fics by kudos

Embarrassing because these are old old fics and even then they have barely any kudos lmao but I guess I'll tell you:

My Soul in the Stars - tumblr link (Poe Dameron x reader)

Anathema (August Walker x reader, abandoned series)

Nexus - tumblr link (Ezra & Cee)

Yours (August Walker x reader)

Survive (August Walker x reader)

but top 5 by notes on tumblr is completely different:

Rise (Joel x reader)

Closer to light (Javi P x reader)

inhale, exhale (Joel x reader)

Akrasia (Ezra x reader)

Spark (our house of flames pt 1) (Joel x reader)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! They mean the world to me but sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel dumb just saying 'thank you' over and over.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

hm probably the smokes the ghost that keeps you close (Javi P x reader) or the San Valentin mini-series (Javi P x reader...what can I say, Javi and angst just works)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the kind of love you've been dreaming of (marcus p x reader) is pretty sickeningly sweet all the way through, they're very happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not anymore no, I used to get shit about my Ezra fics and my August Walker fics back in the day.

9. Do you write smut?

Oh yes

10. Craziest crossover?

I haven't written any yet but I guess the Marcus M/Dieter fic when its done?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No thank god

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I dream of co-writing with @chronically-ghosted and @perotovar one day 💞

14. All time favorite ship?

I've never been much of a shipper, but probably Bobbie/Chrisjen (The Expanse)

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I'd love to finish take the long way home (Marcus P x reader) one day, I had such vision for it. But Marcus is really just not my guy right now and I don't see myself going back to it any time soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

🤷lmao do i have any right now

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably dialogue. Descriptions. My grammar is atrocious. Making things interesting?? romance??

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

Great, but run it by a native speaker before if you are not one.

19. First fandom you wrote in?

It was either h*rry p*tter or Lord of the Rings.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

despite the fact that no one else likes it, I love and am so proud of our house of flames - I'm working on the final chapter and it's so emotional and I love it!

-----

np tags @covetyou @whatsnewalycat @for-a-longlongtime @quinnnfabrgay-writes @seventeenpins

[solarmorrigan]

Hello! I was tagged for this by the marvelous @paperbackribs about... *checks watch* four months ago! I'm so late, I'm sorry, time is meaningless and slippery!

How many works do you have on AO3? 300 (!)

What’s your total AO3 word count? 976,101

What fandoms do you write for?

At the moment, I'm only writing for Stranger Things, but I've written things for about 40ish fandoms over the years.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

In Phony Matrimony [Fantastic Beasts]

Shared Space [Homestuck]

Simple Association [James Bond - Craig movies]

Made with Love (and Yarn) [Stranger Things]

These Days I'm Fine (These Days I Tend to Lie) [Stranger Things]

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I used to get fewer comments, and it was easier to respond to each of them. Having recently been in some much larger fandoms, though, I've kind of been getting overwhelmed and have fallen behind. I'm so grateful that people take the time to even just send a little heart--to tell me that they read this thing and enjoyed it--and I'd love to respond to everyone, but at this rate I'm not quite sure I'll manage to catch up D:

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably either For the Love of You (James Bond, established 00Q, in which Bond is forced to go after Q when he turns out to be a traitor) or either of the fics in the Forever and Ever, Amen series (also James Bond, 00Q, in which Q is a necromancer and won't let Bond die). I've written other dark things, but I tend towards hopeful endings even with those

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most things I've written! I'm a big fan of happily ever after and I write a lot of short fluff pieces. But as far as fics where the happy ending is sort of earned, I'd say maybe He Dreams, Until Such Time (Hades game, gen, in which Hypnos is the Elysium boss fight after having been banished from the House, and Zagreus finds a way to get him back in) or We Have Surplus If We Need It (Pacific Rim, established Newmann, in which Newt tries to figure out who he is in a post-kaiju world and cooks a lot about it)

Do you get hate on fics?

Not particularly. I've gotten a few randos trying to tell me off for writing slash, and one or two people who were clearly just mad at a specific trope and happened to land on my fic, but I've been very fortunate to get largely positive feedback

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! I'm not sure it's exactly my strongest suit (and, in fact, often worry that it's not very good at all), but I guess I keep at it?? I've written PWP and plotularly significant smut before; whatever serves my purposes at the time

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not often, but I have! The first fic I ever tried writing on my own was a Buffy/Scooby-Doo crossover, and I've written a fair bit for Gravity Falls/Over the Garden Wall. Not sure how wild either of those are, though?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I've been alerted to, but I've been posting fic for something like 20 years now, so it wouldn't surprise me if at least one of them has cropped up elsewhere under someone else's name

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yyyyyes...? Pretty sure I remember that happening! I think it was over on ff dot net, so I don't remember which one it was. Good odds it was one of my Criminal Minds fics, though

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

A few times! I've done RP-style co-writing, round robins, half-and-half, and just plain collaborating. Most of them never reached the point of being able to publish, but they were still fun

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Gotta confess: I don't think I have one. My favorite is usually whatever I'm focusing on at the time; I don't dislike ones I've shipped previously, but they tend to settle fondly into the background once I've left a fandom

What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I had a whole Stranger Things fic planned out exploring the potential relationship between Steve and his mom, and I'd love to get at least the bare bones of that done, but there's something about it that just kind of refuses to come

What are your writing strengths?

Characterization and emotion. Emotion is something I feel like I don't identify particularly well in real life, but I think I'm pretty good at getting the intended response from people in my writing. (Also maybe dialogue, but that's just so fun to write)

What are your writing weaknesses?

I! Am! Impatient! I tend to rush through things sometimes and screw the pacing up or skip over important details because I worry writing it out in full will take too long and I'll lose interest. I can also get a little too rigid in trying to achieve a particular outcome, instead of letting the story flow

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I don't tend to do it, but that's because I'm only fluent in English and don't want to jar anyone with a bad auto-translate job. If someone is speaking another language, I usually try to find a way to signify that based on whether or not the POV character also knows that language

First fandom you wrote for?

It was either HP (forgive me, this was over 20 years ago) or Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Scooby-Doo (crossover fic I wrote when I was, like, nine?)

Favorite fic you’ve written?

Ever?? In my life?? My dude, I could pick a favorite per fandom maybe, but just straight up favorite?? I cannot. Of things written more recently, I'm very fond of Under My Skin (Steddie, exploring the possibility of Steve with physical scars). Of things written slightly less recently, I still have a complicated soft spot for We Have Surplus If We Need It

Gently tagging (if you've already done this, I'm sorry, just ignore me): @spiritofcamelot @ato-the-bean @puppy-steve @emchant3d @lexirosewrites

[iamnmbr3]

❤️🧡💛

If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose? What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with? What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

1)

Oooh! Not sure! I think if Ron didn't come back or died in book 7 it could've been really interesting and would make for fodder for a nice AU. I also felt like Ginny's characterization changed a lot in book 6. I liked how she was written much better in book 5. So I wish book 5 Ginny could've been in book 6 and 7 lol. But yeah for real in general I think the characters in the series are overall interesting and dynamic and I like them and the narrative potential they have, even if I feel JKR doesn't always allow them to live up to that potential so there aren't really characters that I'd want to excise, even if there are definitely writing decisions I'd like to remove.

2)

I personally hate the theory that Regulus was forced into becoming a death eater. He literally had a little Voldemort mood board in his room. And he joined up when Voldemort was active and being pretty clear about what he stood for. Plus he seems to have liked his family - he painstakingly hand painted the Black family crest in his room. And we know from Kreacher that he very excitedly and enthusiastically talked about how wizards were going to rule over all the Muggles etc. Which isn't surprising given the family he grew up in. Acting like he was a soft uwu baby who never made any bad decisions and was forced into everything robs the character of agency and makes him far more shallow and less nuanced than he is. Which is such a shame. Because Regulus is fascinating. Let characters make mistakes and suffer the consequences. Let characters be flawed. Let characters be hypocritical and complex and interesting!

Something else that I don't feel as strongly about but am a bit iffy on is the idea that Harry literally became the Master of Death in the end of the series. Look, I've read some great and compelling meta on Master of Death Harry and I've also seen some fics that do it well. But generally speaking, it's not an interpretation I enjoy. I tend to prefer the idea of the Hallows as very powerful magical objects with a lot of mythology around them. (And possibly some connection to the Veil in the Death Chamber which may be what the "bridge" between life and death in the story is based on).

In general though I'm not thrilled with like the idea of them actually being three things that if united literally give the user power over life and death. To me that feels just a bit op to the point of being underwhelming (yes I understand I am saying this about the series with a magic luck potion and time turners). It's just narratively kind of uninteresting and unsatisfying to me and it feels way too abrupt to introduce it so late in the series since it fundamentally changes the world building, feel of the story and style of magic we see in the series. And it's just...usually not that cool to me. Plus, I don't think it's even really especially supported by the cannon. I think JKR's intent was to leave it ambiguous or even to hint that there is no such thing as a true Master of Death, and in this case I think she did a decent job of executing on that intent. That's just my read though.

3)

This is hard for me to answer because I'm very much of a ship and let ship mindset even when I don't personally back something. One ship that I haven't yet found content for that I enjoy is dramione. I've nothing against it, but I feel like a lot of dramione fic tends to reduce Hermione to a Mary Sue and get rid of all her complexity and flaws and rough edges, which is a shame. I feel the same about a lot of tomione fics too, which is also a shame because Hermione has a bit of a ruthless streak that could be very interesting to explore in that context if done right. Maybe I just haven't found the right fics tho. Also in canon, Lupin/Tonks. Just what? It always felt like it came out of nowhere to me and didn't feel like it had enough buildup to make sense. It always felt very weird and random and jarring to me.

[exo-raskreia]

U being anti IH what if the same thing happens to gjhm and they become canon but don't have as much material as other ship?

I'm not sure if you're asking this with malicious intent or if it's a genuine question from a fellow shipper, but here we go.

(Oncoming lengthy response)

I've actually had this thought before. What if despite his different writing style, the general hate the Bleach ED got, & just how ridiculous it sounds, Gege pulled a Kubo? After all, he's a fanboy of the man (I wonder what he thinks of the Bleach ED? Is he aware of how it was received?).

I would be shocked, conflicted, & worried.

To start with, while neither ship should be compared due to how fundamentally different they are, I will say this. Despite several interactions, IH severely lacked chemistry, trust, & meaningful moments. Meanwhile, GojoHime with less on-screen interactions & a playful dynamic, have shown us a deep trust for each other & have worked together to achieve their shared goals. Despite being a minor side character, Utahime is one of the few people Gojo trusts & one of the three adults he calls by first name with no honorific. This already puts them leagues above IH, who were barely friends at best & acquaintances at worst.

So, I wouldn't want GjHm to somehow get the IH treatment in the end. I wouldn't wish that on any shipper, heck, I even feel sort of bad for the IH's, cuz despite becoming "canon" out of nowhere 7 years ago, they still. don't. have. content (especially from the author himself, who has shown no particular interest in his endgames. They don't even have a family sketch 🫢). Makes you wonder who really lost here (as IchiRuki has still gotten some content over the years post-ED...).

GjHm already gets enough hate for simply existing, despite it being a smaller ship with a smaller fanbase in the JJK fandom (the antis are threatened by the potential it has, not to mention it's the most popular JJK straight ship in Japan), so if Gege were to pull a Kubo, the hate would increase, especially towards Utahime, who of course would amass the most hate from this freakin' fandom that's obsessed with Gojo. It'd be a tough time for us fans of the ship & Utahime.

After dealing with the aftermath of the Naruto Shipping Wars as a soldier in the NaruHina army lol (don't even get me started on why NH is NOT like IH, plus we actually have content 🤪), & then witnessing the disastrous Bleach ED & the general hate it got, I do NOT wish to go thru this again. Whether you win or lose, if it isn't done properly, you'll still deal with criticism left & right... (why can't more battle shounens be like Fairy Tail when it comes to slowly developing the ships throughout the story? There'd be less drama...)

Gege keeps saying the manga will end soon, so that means if he wants to make anyone canon by the end, he'll have to start now. JJK is a battle shounen with no romance, but if despite this, GjHm are to be canon, then their moments leading up to it will have to be quality > quantity. Is there enough room/time to develop them the way we would wish? Doubt it, so we'll need at least a couple flashbacks to further justify them (and boy, we're still waiting for their flashback after Gojo's unsealing, if that ever comes...).

Basically, even if it's a few moments, they need to be impactful enough to make even the casual readers/viewers think, "I could see them ending up together." Subtlety & slow burn are usually the best fit for battle shounens, after all, &/or maybe a little further (once again, like Fairy Tail). With that said, out of all the potential ships in the series, I personally view YutaMaki as the most likely to become canon by the end; their moments, far & few in between, are enough to convince me that they could be endgame (that is, if the capricious Gege so wished 😓).

So far, we've seen nothing of what Gojo & Utahime truly think of each other. To reiterate, they have a silly dynamic but have shown to trust each other implicitly. Why this is, we can only guess. I mean, Utahime has risked her life for Gojo twice already (investigating the mole & buffing him against Sukuna). Where is this supposed "hate" she holds for him? It's stated in the databook that she hates him most of the time, so how does she feel at other times? 🤔 And Gojo, despite his teasing, has shown he cares for her, saved her, & obviously trusted her with the aforementioned important & risky tasks.

Just what is going on with these two? Is it really so impossible that there could be something more here? Whether now or later? Gege would just need to give us a little more... Though at this point, there's only so much we can hope for, considering his writing style & how things have been seemingly going... Gotta keep our expectations low...

(What if—delulu plot twist—GjHm are already together, either secretly this whole time—like some ppl have wondered, as this could further explain the immense trust in each other—or got together during the timeskip, & all we need now is the big reveal with a/some proper flashback(s) to explain it? LOL. Just a silly idea 😜).

Anyway, in general, I wouldn't want GjHm becoming canon at the cost of its beautiful potential. We'd need some more moments to justify it, or else I'd have to put back on my old "army uniform" to defend my ship if need be. So, despite how unlikely it would be, I can only hope Gege does NOT pull a Kubo (well, he's more likely to kill everyone off or something like that 🙄).

I'd rather he pulled a Sorachi (author of Gintama) & left things open-ended, keeping the fandom from turning into utter chaos...

(Maybe only that side might lose it, tho, lol. They get bothered by anything that doesn't adhere to their ship despite them being down here with us in Delulu Land, oop-).

[londonhalcyon]

Fic Writer Interview (20 Questions)

This tag game passed by twice, once in January (because apparently this post has been sitting in my drafts that long) and again several months later, so forgive me for not remembering who to tag! These questions seem fun, so if anyone wants to join, feel free to say I tagged you!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

20 at the moment, with plenty more WIPs.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

480,895 words and counting.

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Not counting TMW bonus content, the top 5 are:

The Mad Witch (758 kudos)

"The Scarlett Cauldron" (77 kudos)

"Fear Itself" (76 kudos)

"The Most Powerful Witch" (72 kudos)

"Piper's Best Worst Day" (57 kudos)

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! I love engaging with my readers and other members of the fandom. Every comment always makes my whole day. Life gets busy sometimes, so I don't always have the time to respond to every single one, but I definitely see and appreciate all of them!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Usually my fics have fairly hopeful endings, but "3 Years Ago," a pre-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect fic might fit the bill. Sometime in the future, it has the potential to be topped by "Will of the People," a Fallout 4 WIP that revolves around the Diamond City anti-ghoul riots.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

My Secret Santa fics, "It's Not the Fall" and "Flawed Phials," definitely have the fluffiest endings!

7. Do you write crossovers?

Nope!

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I get rude or condescending comments on occasion from people who don't know how to hit the back button and/or are unfamiliar with fandom etiquette, though nothing actively malicious. The one time I received a transphobic/homophobic message in response to TMW it was private (if it was public, I would have deleted it; I don't give a platform to that kind of thing at all), and honestly I hope that person is in a better place now because they really didn't seem okay at the time. I'm fortunate that the vast majority of my readers and mutuals are such wonderfully amazing and kind people.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, BUT, before you get too excited, not in The Mad Witch. Smut is by definition graphic, and TMW has a Teen rating that shall remain unchanged.

The smut scenes I've drafted so far (F/F and F/M) are for my Rosemary Reaper series (post-canon Fallout 4 WIP). Those fics will all be rated Mature, so while not overly explicit, they'll definitely be spicier than TMW. Maybe I'll share a snippet sometime if there's any demand for it.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of?? I have long since deleted my Wattpad account, so my fics should only be on AO3. If anyone ever finds one of my fics elsewhere in the wild, please let me know.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I have not, which is probably for the best. I would like to make some heavy edits to the beginning of TMW when I'm done with it.

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic, though I have co-written a short fantasy story with a friend, with him writing for one POV character and me for another. We agreed on major actions and story beats, but we each kept a major secret that we didn't reveal until after we had written our individual parts. It was a lot of fun (though we were both painfully unskilled at the time).

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I don't know if I really have one. I have ships I enjoy and characters I like to pair with OCs, though nothing I feel properly obsessive over. This might be a consequence of primarily writing for video game fandoms. But I do have my default game romances: Merula in HPHM, Piper in Fallout 4, Marcurio in Skyrim, etc. I'm also a sucker for unrequited love interests, like Serana in Skyrim and Aveline in Dragon Age 2. The ANGST.

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I never want to say never because I'm currently 83,435 words into the last fic I said I would never write. But there are two fics that I'm almost certain I will never finish, which I'm kind of sad about: my post-canon Murdered: Soul Suspect longfic, A Certain Darkness, and my RWBY OC team longfic, DSRT.

I made it just shy of 200,000 words into A Certain Darkness before I had to drop it. My writing skills ended up surpassing the progress I had made, and by the time I realized how many characters, relationships, and plot points were just straight up bad, I had written myself into a corner. I do love Joy and Angel so much, a medium/ghost duo with way more homoerotic tension than my closeted teenage self ever intended. Maybe one day I'll gut the story, drop the characters into a different setting, and make it something original. One day.

DSRT ran into a similar problem, though fortunately I only ever wrote the first few chapters. I could probably reattempt it if I really wanted, but with the overwhelming number of WIPs I already have, it's hard to imagine finding the time. I do miss my team of teenage idiots: Dustin, Saul, Rosemary, and Talos. It was supposed to have a really tragic ending too, which I don't often get to write.

15. What are your writing strengths?

I often receive compliments on how human I make my characters feel, which is the highest honor anyone could give. I've been told my dialogue frequently flows smoothly too.

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

Conciseness. Why is this post so long omg.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Do it carefully and with necessity. Maybe a character is bilingual and blends languages, so it's part of their characterization. Maybe a password or spell needs to be said in another language because it's old or pretentious. It can work, but it can also be easy to mess up. I personally avoid writing dialogue in languages I don't have a good grasp of, or I try to consult other people if I do (not Google Translate, which sucks).

There's also the matter of if the POV character even understands the language being spoken. If they don't, then I don't write the language out (unless it's a phrase the character is going to learn later on). In these instances, it makes more sense to write something like, "The man muttered a phrase in a language she didn't recognize," or "She fired off something in Spanish, the words too quick to catch."

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars the Clone Wars, baby! I was like ten or eleven. Never published, but my worldbuilding for that longfic (a saga, more like) was insanely elaborate. Alas, another story for the WIP graveyard.

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to?

Eventually, I want to get back to my Skyrim WIP, which includes a main Dragonborn/Marcurio ship. Maybe even with a little Dragonborn/Serana infidelity on the side (which Marcurio absolutely does not deserve, the poor guy).

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

I mean, I have to say The Mad Witch, don't I? That fic is where my community is, where every time I post a chapter I have a ton of people who get excited about it with me. It is the story I think about constantly, that I have spent literal years writing and daydreaming about. No matter what I've written before or will write since, this will be the defining fic in my journey as a writer.

That, and I have a special fondness for "Case by Case." I just think it's neat.

[queeenpersephone]

20 questions for 20 writers

tagged by @katebishopofearth ilysm lizzy <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 53

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 455,252 (almost half a mil)

3. What fandoms do you write for? so many. predominately, marvel, the x files, shadow and bone, the librarians, the umbrella academy, game of thrones (a few years ago). but i have a few i've only written one or two fics for.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? like one of yours, ye multitudinous ocean (pjo) (2283 kudos) - delicate (marvel) (2005 kudos) - are you there, chloe? it's me, god (lucifer) (1428 kudos) - it will be a heaven of black-red roses (marvel) (1208 kudos) - a ring around the moon (s&b) (1170 kudos). the crazy thing? the top one i posted this year.

5. Do you respond to comments? ALWAYS. nearly every one, even if it's just 'this was great'. i only don't reply if it's just emojis (which are still appreciated! i just don't know what to say lol) or if it's like a rude demand for sequels or to update. i don't mind asking for a sequel, but just be nice about it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ooo that's hard. objectively though, it has to be the whole thing would fracture which is a strange daisy x coulson fic (agents of shield) where daisy, inspired by watching doctor who with fitzsimmons, causes the apocalypse when coulson is killed.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? that's a really hard question! new years day in terms of payoff (ironwidow) and now when weather turns to may (all my sisters fly to me) (doctor who, companions traveling together without the doctor) in terms of canon divergence lol. it's the epitome of everyone lives, nobody dies.

8. Do you get hate on fics? not very frequently! i think i'm in good fandoms (or good parts of fandoms at least) it's shocking considering that i ship some pretty touchy ships. i think i've gotten the most on ironwidow fics tbh. i always delete it without responding so i think that's why i get so little - zero interaction policy.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? oh yeah, although i held out for a long time. what kind? like mildly explicit? it's usually in a darker context, i suppose.

10. Do you write crossovers? i have! and forth he hastened (and grasped at moonbeams glistening), which is a lotr/game of thrones crossover. it was for a friend - i don't typically like crossovers, but it was fun!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yep - i've had some very kind people reach out to inform me, and i've always been successful in taking them down.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes! it's a huge compliment.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? yes! one. it's since been removed as my friend took down all of her work due to receiving hate

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? this is pretty much an impossible question. if you put a gun to my head, i would still say it's a tie between the doctor and rose and natasha and tony. the doctor and rose changed my brain chemistry, and ironwidow basically taught me how to write.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ooo i have this game of thrones soulmate!au where sansa's soulmates (one romantic, three platonic) are varys, jon, petyr, and daenerys. i have the whole timeline, and i posted three parts of it in a series. i genuinely love the concept so much and i've written a lot for it, but my love of the show took a huge hit in s8 and i don't plan on writing more of it.

16. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm pretty talented at dialogue. i've written poetry my whole life, so poetic descriptions are kinda my thing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? there's so many things to improve on! general descriptiveness, getting better at showing emotions instead of telling them. writing longer stories is definitely difficult for me.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i've done it, but infrequently. i don't even like indicators of accent (ie, strollin' instead of strolling) i think it can be offensive very easily. except endearments! love endearments in other languages, but i usually do some research to make sure i'm accurate.

19. First fandom you wrote for? i THINK harry potter? or pirates of the caribbean. fanfiction.net is down so i can't check. no i will not be telling y'all my fanfic.net handle it's better this way.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? hi this is an impossible question. holistically, it's probably like one of yours, ye multitudinous ocean, a pjo fic that was ripped from my soul either this year. i believe it's one of the best things i've ever written, and has also gotten the best response of any fic i've written. in terms of plot, easily new year's day, which is a marvel rewrite with ironwidow as the focus. the yellow roses of texas (fiveya) is the most symbolic, layered, complex fic i've ever written and i love it to death. honestly, and it's gimmicky to say, i wrote a fic for the sorcerer's apprentice when i was 13 (with a mary sue OC and everything) that had a great response on fanfic.net and it made me want to do this for the rest of my life. so yeah. maybe that one.

yay i loved this! thank you again lizzy for tagging me.

Tagging: @rappaccini, @baronessblixen, @hedgehodgy, @gingerteaonthetardis, @imissthembutitwasntadisaster,

@impulsive-astrophile, @scullysflannel @repeatinglitanies, @scullysexual @thatfragilecapricorn30

pretty sure all these folks write/have in the past! feel free to ignore <3

[nartml]

it's not "entirely made up", which is the entire reason people are complaining lol have you seen what the fandom has done to the nazi allegory?

i agree that the people complaining are toxic, but also, a lot of the changes are both misogynistic and homophobic, and there's a lot of toxic masculinity and abusive romance tropes being romanticized, are people not allowed to call them out? representation is important, isn't it?

you literally tagged your post, adding to the toxicity

most new works follow the "new model" and people who write different things are harrassed (i've seen people be harrassed simply because they don't ship wolfstar). how are we supposed to change that if we don't call it out?

discourse in fandom is normal. you can just as easily follow your own advice and not read it/block it.

Y'all are quick lmao

Okay, okay, so, to get the easy stuff out the way:

I unfortunately made another hasty post, I didn't elaborate enough, that's definitely on me.

In my defense, it's 2:30am, I need to be up in five hours at the latest, and I saw the fifth post hating on jegulus and/or other fun parts of the fandom that I genuinely cannot find anything objectively problematic about.

I got pissed.

I tagged my post, and I agree that I further fueled the discourse.

This has been something that I've done before, unfortunately. I'm used to thinking of tags as part of screaming into the void, I'll be sure to erase them after this.

But as you said, it's normal for there to be discourse in fandom.

And honestly, that's what I usually do. Ignore it. Like I do with a lot of things I don't agree with on the internet.

I don't remember contributing to this whole ordeal before tbh, and I've been here for a decent amount of time.

But I got so ticked off, I wanted to get it off my chest for once.

Lost my grip there, but I honestly didn't think too deeply about it.

Anyway, yes, yes, obviously it's not entirely made up. We have the HP series, aka the source material, in which we do see quite a bit of Remus and Sirius.

I was more referring to the fact that every single other character in the marauders era, is, in fact, made up.

It's undeniable that, despite the bits and pieces we've heard throughout the books, we can't possibly have any sort of concrete understanding of how these characters were during their Hogwarts days, before the war.

Not only because the bits and pieces don't in any way make up a whole picture, but also because some of them might've been entirely unreliable.

So these characters; younger Remus and Sirius, as well as James, Peter, Lily, Regulus etc etc etc, have more or less been crafted on very arbitrary ideas.

They are made up, and very rarely reconcilable to their adult counterparts, which makes sense from several standpoints. (E.g. their canon characters have been severely beaten down and traumatized. AUs take place in entirely different settings; the context changes entirely, and so do the characters)

Now, as for the nazi allegory, I assume you're referring to a) morons who are glorifying the death eater tattoo (jesus christ), or b) the 'Slytherin Skittles'?

In b's case, I'd wager it started with Regulus and the potential to explore the Black Family dynamics, which then escalated to giving him his own friend group and creating entertaining dynamics between them.

However, I genuinely do not see the harm in this.

It hardly matters that they're canonically deaths eaters, or that they were most likely blood supremacists and horrible people; or whatever else could've been going on with them.

They were so barely mentioned in the actual story. Doesn't matter what effect their existence had on the story and how it served the narrative, because they were barely ever directly there.

We know next to nothing for fact. So it's next to impossible for most people to care for their actions in canon, and just see them as blank canvases.

I can't really fault them for that.

People project whatever they want on characters that are firmly established and thoroughly explored; characters that are borderline non-existent are free real estate.

And yes, changes can totally be problematic.

A prime example is definitely the hyperfeminization of Sirius, to make wolfstar fit the classic heteronormativity that plagues queer ships.

As for the romanticization of abusive romance tropes, I honestly have never seen it.

I mean, I hear people complaining about it, but I swear to fuck, it feels like you guys are fighting ghosts sometimes 😭

Either it's a part of the fandom I've somehow steered clear of, despite being balls deep in it, or some people are exaggerating, which isn't out of the realm of possibility, but I kind of doubt that's the case.

As for toxic masculinity, again, I literally haven't seen it. Hand to my heart, scout's honour, I have not.

Hyperfeminization? Definitely.

Toxic masculinity? Macho men? Written in any context that's not challenging it, and is promoting it? Nope.

Representation is important, and that was the other part my post was based on.

I've seen people hate on the liberties others have taken to explore gender through these characters, which ticked me off even more.

And this is coming from a cis individual, who doesn't really fuck with he/they Sirius, they/them James, etc etc.

I don't think that there's any harm in people creating/enjoying content that is representative of their struggles/experiences with gender (or any other part of life).

Exactly because in the marauders fandom, characters are incredibly flexible, for aforementioned reasons.

Blank canvases, remember?

Usually this hate, from what I've seen, comes from people who prefer sticking to the canon part of this whole story.

In which case, totally, the 'new model' is very. Very. Unrealistic.

(There are definitely harmful headcanons out there. Even within this context, there also exists content that fetishizes the very thing I just defended. But I physically can't sit here and list off every problematic thing that has happened in this fandom. I don't have the energy. And that's not what the post is about anyway)

-"People who write different things are harassed".

Yes, glad that you get my point, even though I obviously didn't get it across.

This goes both ways. This goes all ways. Yeah, people who don't ship wolfstar get hate.

But people who headcanon Regulus as trans get it too.

People who prefer Jily get hate.

But jegulus shippers have their hands full as well.

People giggling over silly headcanons that are honestly just that: silly; can't catch a break.

What was that, you like the new model? Here's all the ways I think it sucks ass.

Oh, you prefer canon? What a loser, you're in the wrong fandom.

Ultimately, the joy gets drained out of everything.

This is meant to be fun. This is meant to be a break from real life stress.

It's not meant to leave you exhausted because you're too busy apologizing about not taking something too seriously, or defending your ship preferences.

In the end, however, I obviously get what you're saying. There are harmful changes that deserve to be pointed out.

But I never said that they didn't. Calling out the notions that are inherently problematic when perpetuated is important.

Constructive criticism is welcome. It's crucial. It only adds, it deepens people's understanding of media and brings attention to problematic aspects of certain interpretations.

That's not what I was referencing in my original post; at least, not intentionally.

I was talking about how so many people love to mindlessly complain about things they don't like, without actually bringing up any substantial points.

The only goal is to tear other people down.

As we've agreed, some of these changes are problematic.

But so is the way some people convey their disagreements.

Some of y'all use your complaints about new character developments to also hide your general prejudice against something.

Like, there's no need to get this heated over genderfluid Sirius.

In this particular instance, it's because the general concept of the 'new model' is pretty mainstream, so it's hard to avoid it. So I know that I'm being a bit unfair when I say, 'ignore it'

Ignoring it is rarely easy though, no matter how mainstream or minor.

It should be, because logically this is all fictional and it doesn't matter if someone dislikes your OTP, or if you think someone's hc is painfully unrealistic.

But we can't help it. It's impossible to care about how fictional something is when it means so much to us.

And seeing something antithetical to our interpretation can feel like some sort of personal attack, even when it's really not.

Part of it also stems from how, when you see fifty other people throwing in their two cents, you also want to.

Because it's a base instinct to want to be heard.

All that said, ignoring it, despite the circumstances, is often the best way to go, because a lot of the time it can be irrational.

Hating on someone because they don't like your ship can be irrational.

Starting a fight over someone's differing interpretation of a character can be irrational.

Think critically before you speak, and be careful when phrasing your points.

Being respectful is crucial, and if you're not getting the same courtesy, then stepping back is the smarter choice.

I'm still working on always maintaining these things myself.

I've been doing a bang-on job, broadly speaking.

I had a slight moment of weakness earlier :P

(For those wondering, I took the og post down. It wasn't anything tragic, I just said that most people who complain about the fandom's toxicity actively contribute to it when they hate on stuff others enjoy.

In the tags I went off a bit, my ultimate points being that the fun is often sucked out of everything, and that if I personally don't like something, I avoid it, stick to my stuff, and don't venture into others' spaces if I'm not willing to be open minded.

But I was definitely more aggressive with the delivery, which was my bad. I hate it when I break my own rules on how I want to behave on here.)

Anyway, so sorry for this long rant, and sorry if I've missed something or made a bad/harmful point. I'm borderline asleep.

And it's now 4:10am and I got too absorbed in this *sigh*

[yaboirezzy]

Alright, here's an explanation (post version):

So this is something I wouldn't usually say publicly because I don't really like telling and sharing my personal stuff online, especially on social places like tumblr or others because of how people usually react to someone feeling or saying anything about themselves. Also because I rather vent stuff in rather than bothering everyone close to me online about it. But I feel like making an exception just this once because this is actually about my tumblr blog.

So on my blog I've been doing all kinds of stuff over the past few years, artworks (both digital and traditional), text post, memes, incorrect quotes, and so on. And don't get me wrong I enjoyed it, I was happy with it, but in recent times I really feel like I've done nothing but make some low effort garbage that people only viewed or liked out of pity and nothing else. I feel like I've slowly changed from a someone eager to share their love and interest for their favorite fandoms to an annoying little shithead that won't stop yapping about anything (be it headcanons, AUs, ships) regarding their fandoms.

Especially when the stuff they waffle about aren't even as good as to what other people do. Artwork? everyone else had done better artwork of their favorite hyperfixations, character fanart, ship fanart, you name it? then it's guaranteed that everyone else done it better. Text post? everyone has made ones that are much better than mine, some even I based or took inspiration from (which is pretty much stealing I think). Memes or meme redraws? again mine looks like something out of the early 2000s compared to others. Incorrect quotes? god I can't believe that these are what I started with and are what 90% of my blog is about, yet I can't even get them right or being good at least. And those are just the basics, picture this people usually make artwork to show their love towards something they like and usually show others why they like or spread the popularity of their favorite thing, well guess who fucking sucks at that aspect as well? Showing my love towards my favorite fandom though artwork or text or quotes? awful at it, you would think I was young kid who just got introduced to them, trying to increase the popularity of an otherwise underrated or unknown fandom of mine? suck at it, just showing an image of them would've done a better job promoting each series, what about trying to seem like an active fan and participating in trends or events within the fandom? well me not being able to follow an 'art week' thing and being late to a redraw trend should be a clear sign as to how that goes.

And that's the reason why I wanna end myself I've been feeling so terrible about myself lately, I feel like trash about not being able to do the stuff I wanted to do whether it's artwork, text post, or even interacting with others.

In terms of artwork and meme redraws I just wanna see my vision come to life be that in the artstyle, the position/posing, or look/quality, but I can't due to limitations and whatnot. That's why I'm always eager to see art from others, but I know everyone's got other things to worry about, it's also why I feel like an absolute leecher whenever I ask or even request any of my artist mutuals anything their art is so much better than mine and I hate how I couldn't even mimick a fraction of their quality. It just makes me feel sick that I considered myself the same to them, I have done nothing worthy like them yet I always try to fit in as an 'artist' among actual real ones.

In terms of text post and incorrect quotes, I don't even know why any of you liked those, or even reblogging them. I've seen people put genuine care and effort into their headcanons, AUs, fanfics, even incorrect quotes and yet here I am saying the dumbest ideas and thoughts ever. Not only are they so bad, so low effort, and so braindead to read for any rational human being, but they are just so not funny, like at all like please fucking make it stop, I mean from what you'd probably seen on others you'd at least expect me to be another one of those it's so bad it's funny kind of stuff, but no, I just keep making dishwasher slop over and over and people are liking them, why? why are you all doing this to yourselves? you'd have a better time watching the series my stuff is about than liking and reblogging it.

Again, this is really something I've kept hidden and I've only now talked about with one of my mutuals, but I feel the need to make this just so I can say from the bottom of my heart:

I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything I've said. I'm sorry for everything I've done, I don't care if they're good, bad, neutral, or means nothing at all. I'm sorry I couldn't done more or better. I'm sorry to all my mutuals and friends. I'm sorry that I'm broken, I couldn't be fixed. I'm just...I'm sorry that I exist here.

Please just let me be in pain alone...

[moosekateer13]

My Regin Ends

Part 3 of You're Losing Me mini series

Warnings:  Angst, Mention of Breakup, Cyberbullying, Harassment,  Self Loathing, Medical Issues, Alcoholism, Death

Summary: After visiting her daughter who shut down her attempts to reconnect with her. Now Y/N's only has a bottle as her company. As her time runs out. She reflects on all her mistakes that led to her being alone.

Inspired by Taylor Swift's Castle's Crumbling Down

My foes and friends watch my reign end. I don't know how it could've ended this way. Smoke billows from my ships in the harbor. People look at me like I'm a monster. Now they're screaming at the palace front gates, used to chant my name.

Now they're screaming that they hate me. Never wanted you to hate me.

Oh how far I've fallen from royalty in the media industry to someone when people don't give a damn about. I'm here sitting in my mansion wearing a worn blue dress. It's the dress I wore when I pushed away the love of my life. I didn't see what was right in front of me. It's something I've been regretting recently. I stare at the coal-black walls reflecting on my life. It feels like I’m drawing in a pit of self-loathing. This place hasn't felt like home in a long time; it's just somewhere to lie down.  

The limelight wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

I started off as a young child star. I got caught up in the glamour of the limelight. I couldn't see the damage it was doing to those around me.

My boyfriend Jared broke up with me. I don't blame him. I was never home and never really looked after our daughter. Delia she hates me and she considers someone else mom. Well, I don't blame her Genevive raised her with Jared. Like an idiot, I signed my rights away and chose fame instead. I've got a grandchild on the way but they'll never call me grandma even if I was still around to see them grow. Jared's wife earned that title. I know I don't deserve it. It's good to see Delia is thriving though. She is a successful artist in both music and painting.  I'm proud of her. Thanks to her upbringing she is the complete opposite of me. I'm just washed up.

After getting trapped in the stereotypical role of heiress. I started to internalize that they were rich, entitled and spoiled. Unlike them, I didn't have any money to fall back on. So I sought comfort in the bottle and have remained in a drunken haze since. If I'm not drinking I'm caught up in an endless amount of flings.

All the stuff I've done to myself caught up with me. I have heart ischemia and don't have long left. Hence why I tried to make amends with all the people that I'd done wrong.  But as usual, I was pushed aside and locked out. What goes around comes around as the old saying goes. 

When I was diagnosed with heart issues. I also found out I had a rare condition called Alice in Wonderland Syndrome. According to the doctor I have had it since I was in my 20s. Since it was left untreated my perception of the world got worse.  The syndrome itself impairs my brain's processing of sensory input. The disruption alters my perception of the size of objects and my own body's feel or appearance. It can also warp my perception of reality. Ding, Ding yup that sure sounds like me I thought to myself when I was first diagnosed. 

I think back to when I was forced into fame by my father as a child. He never cared about my well-being, just saw the dollar signs.

I remember one particular day when I had a fever and he still forced me to work when I was a teenager.

“Come on Y/N you aren't sick. You just don't want to work. Now get your lazy ass into wardrobe.” Dad said

I tried to get more words out but I knew he wouldn't listen so I headed back to wardrobe.  My mom died during childbirth so he's been punishing me for just living. Well, it feels like it anyway. I hope one day I can be a good parent.”

The apple didn't fall from the tree and I ended up not being a good parent.

My head is pounding. I can't think anymore. All I keep hearing is the mob outside my mansion screaming that they hate me. It's been constant for years now and the police stopped coming.  Also, no security company wants to work for me. My reputation for treating people like shit caught up with me. I was never nice to my coworkers and just pushed them away when they tried to talk to me after work. Well, when I had a job anyway. I haven't worked in years.

Who would want to hire me anyway? I'm a mess. I get up to get some pain relief for my headache but I don't make it. I feel the world go black.

My castle's crumbling down And I watch all my bridges burn to the ground And you don't want to know me I will just let you down (just let you down) My castle's crumbling down You don't wanna know me now

Narrator P.O.V

I turn up the TV to hear the latest breaking news. 

Local Texas news reporter Genevive Padalecki was there to report the death of former Y/N Y/L /N. It looks like her medical issues or the bottle caught up to her. Maybe it's sad how far she's fallen. No one was there in her final moments. Well maybe if she treated people better she wouldn't have been all alone. We will bring you more information as it becomes available.

As an online news reporter. I want to check on the latest scoop. So I  decided to look online. There are no kind messages about her. I notice no RIP on social media. They just said she got what's coming to her. It's sad really but she stirred up all the hatred with the way she treated people. I close the tab on the page not wanting to read anymore.