#I hate this guy but he's so well written

[garneneva]

Micah commision! @heloixe

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[gigglemite]

I don't know, there's just something that hits so hard knowing that at his very core, Wanderer is just a sweet boy who wants to help others and find a family who will love and take care of him in return. We can see this when he's first found after Ei left him, and also when he erases himself from Irminsul.

Wanderer, when we meet him as Scaramouche is someone tainted by centuries of deceit. He's the product of a twisted mind twisting the naive mind of a puppet just looking for his place in this world. His personality as Scaramouche is fragments of those he's spent the most time with (the harbingers), coupled with his three perceived betrayals, and we end up with a homicidal puppet who hates humanity and detests the gods. He may have hated them, but the Harbingers (especially Dottore) are the ones who shaped the Balladeer we met.

But the Wanderer we meet post-Irminsul is helping out at a fruit stand in Sumeru fully expecting no compensation for his work. He goes out of his way to pick fresh sunsettias and take care of this stand all because the man who runs it helped him. He's shocked and confused, not angry, when the Traveler says that he's a puppet despite him making it a point to never tell anyone. He happily accompanies the Traveler and Paimon to Nahida, even apologizing for the inconvenience.

Dottore made sure all of Wanderer's naive traits turned bitter towards the world because he wanted a fascinating test subject. And yet, even when he could go on the warpath and murder Dottore after finding out the core betrayal that shaped him was a lie, he instead chooses to erase himself from the past just as a small chance to fix the wrongs he's done and give those hurt because of him a chance at a better life.

If the Kabukimono and Wanderer were him without being molded by the harsh world and Scaramouche was the result of being manipulated, I really wonder how he would have turned out had Ei not chosen to give him up.

In other words: Scaramouche is baby and he deserved so much better. Wanderer is a sweetheart who had to reconcile with a past that went completely against who he thought he was and deserved better. But the Wanderer we have now, is healing.

He's healing and I can't explain how proud of him I am that he's trying.

[fire-in-my-woods]

So often in media, when abuse is talked about, the little boys in the household are shown to be combative - the "protector" of the family (an utterly depraved and insane idea). What makes Simon's younger self portrayal so special to me is that he's none of these things as a child. He was scared, timid, because he was just a kid in a horrifying situation. Being a male should not strip you of the right to involuntary responses that come with being abused.

This is not to say that the former example does not exist in the real world, because it very much does - it's just usually the only example of a young boy in an abusive household. Though the themes itself are not pleasant, I am incredibly happy to see representation of the quote-on-quote "softer" side of men who faced abuse growing up.

[licantropa]

mouthwashing just won game of the year in my room

[moldy-flowers]

The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...

[mothmanadjacent]

I’m so upset because I hate Valentino and I want Charlie to at some point cleave the creepy weirdo in two, but his character design is so good. I want to draw him but his character makes me physically ill.

[mortysmith]

Fuck you season five episode nine genuinely some of the worst shit they clobbered together

[bunni-y0lks]

I got into another hyperfixation SAVE ME

(Angel is my oc, Scarlett belongs to @uniucky-clovers and Wales @tangerinetatko :3)

[pens-and-paperbacks]

Endeavor is almost a perfect allegory for what the society in the mha universe does to people who can't be heroes or use their quirks in a way to benefit society, which is cast them aside or pass them over without over giving them a second glance until uh-oh! Suddenly they're worth being noticed because they're a threat.

He apologizes to his family, which is good! If you're a bad person and did terrible things, the first step in your own transformation and atonement should be to acknowledge what you've done and to apologize to those you've wronged. Great!

Thing is, Endeavor set off a chain reaction with his abusive, neglectful and downright irresponsible choices that it damaged everyone in his family for life.

I don't think someone who causes one of their own children to literally go up in flames, crying because they're finally getting attention from their father and family in the very end, ever deserves to be forgiven.

[shaolin-spin-doctor]

not sure if this is a hot take but. imo. Fire God Liu Kang kinda sucks and it's the worst direction NRS could've taken his character in tbh

[eri-pl]

I love Jirt's lore but

Jirt: This guy is Peak Evil and you're supposed to hate him, he's Satan Also Jirt: Oh, and if he didn't do his very debatable and controversial thing, humans (& elves) would not exist. Ever.

[cosmobrain00]

yk i used to be a bit more sympathetic towards mike n his fights w will until I started writing from his pov

[forcedhesitation]

I love that the bg3 guys are all written to have this intense adoration of karlach and lae’zel’s abilities to absolutely eviscerate their enemies. they’ve all got the same taste in women, which is “she could gut the big scary man chasing me, and then princess carry me to safety in her blood spattered arms.” and I respect and relate to that, as a bisexual man myself.

[sweetshire]

So, @silv-paru sent Sherlock Holmes for the character opinion bingo. thanks a bunch for this (and for your patience. my god, i’m answering this a week late. typical me behaviour). you’re a darling :D

Did you know, i used to tell these stories to my friends? they delighted in them AND i got a chance to sort of ramble on and on abt him and watson. it was a win-win, really. ah, those were the days! now i haven’t reblogged much of him this month at all. i miss him. I MISS HIM.

Onto the bingo: well. he’s The quintessence of gender™ to me. and i relate to him so so much. fav character of all time fr. i want to carry him in my pocket at all times & study him. like. do i want to BE him OR am i IN LOVE with him, ykwim? pssh who knows? certainly not me. uh-huh ‘a beast unleashed’ -does this refer to me or him? you choose. oh re: canon, i’m ignoring the part where holmes dies (or y’know, is dead for 3 years). that’s too angsty.

[ouroboros-hideout]

Archive Wednesday: if you receive this, show a photo/artwork that you never shared (could be old/outtake/etc.) before! Let those pieces shine too!

Oh hello again friendly archive anon who wants to look into my dungeon. We just assume it’s still Wednesday lmao. So here‘s another drawing of another fandom like last time. It actually was supposed to be a series of tarot-card-like fanart but I only managed to make this. I really loved Arcane with all my heart and still think it’s one of the best animated series ever created but the fandom (league included) only left me with a lot of bitter feelings for some reasons so I‘ll probably never return to that. Nonetheless I am really proud of this piece of art (and that’s a huge deal if I say that about myself lol).