#I hate the falmer in the quest where you get the Elder Scroll

[morg-among-the-stars]

I made them fake Twitter accounts Lmao

It’s three “threads” with two pictures each 👍

[kagrenacs]

Explaining the Iceberg #8

In which the theories get worse as you delve deeper. (some content is cut because it’s not appropriate/something I would want to discuss)

Coldharbour/Clockwork Tamriel: Coldharbour has many locations that resemble Tamriel, and often are outright taken from it. C0Da seems to indicate Sotha Sil’s final goals for the clockwork city is to recreate and ‘perfect’ Tamriel.

The Crimson Ship: During the Knahaten Flu, the Kothringi were hit particularly hard, and the Crimson Ship was full of refugees trying to find a new home. They were turned away at every port, until reaching Hammerfell. After being turned away once again, they sailed out to sea. Some years later, pirates found the ship full of corpses.

Storming of the citadel: Unsure of this, the wording is too general. It could possibly refer to the Morrowind Mainquest, when you take back the profane tools, A Covenant quest in Elder Scrolls Cnline, or the Main quest in Elder Scrolls Online

Altmeri formwars: Mentioned in an MK short story. Possibly a war from a previous Kalpa that involved the Dreugh

Yagrum Bagarn made the Numidium: He states he was a Tonal Architect under Kagrenac, there’s a possibility he may have worked on the Numidium as well.

Sons of Hora: Mentioned in the Nu-hatta, related to mantling. ‘this is the death children bring as son’s of Hora’. My guess is that it’s the ability of mortals (sons of Lorkhan, Hora?) to actually mantle deities and understand their limits.

Kaleidocules: ‘Leaky Creatia’  the power of creation, magical possibility 

Ayleids=Bird people: A race of unnamed bird people Topal the Pilot was said to have met on his journey across Tamriel. Since they occupy the same region as Ayleids did (although they seem to have been present before the Ayleids and subsequently died out), and since Ayleids have recurring bird motifs within their armor and art, it’s thought that these two groups may be one in the same.

Dragon Tusk: The name of the oversoul (cumulation of all aspects) of Akatosh/Auri-el ect. Is Aka or Aka-Tusk.

Lorkhan’s heart the egg of time: In Morrowind, the egg of time is a rebuttal paper to Kagrenac’s theories on the use of the tools on the heart of lorkhan.

Khajiit ??? Genetic memory: I can’t make out if that says lactable as in the infant formula for babies, or something else. 

The Prisoner: A name for all playable characters in tes, revolves around the concept of seeing past barriers formed previously (the prison) and overcoming these obstacles to change things.

82nd Crodo: Mentioned in the redguard forums, a community in Alinor.

City of Rockcreek: In Arena, there is a city called Rockpark. A glitch in town generation happened, and the palace to Rockpark was blocked off, rendering it inaccessible. In Daggerfall, the developers referenced this glitch in ‘Ius the Animal God’ But misspelled Rockpark as ‘Rockcreek’

Atmora-Aldmeris Invasion: Not quite sure what this references, my best guess is the invasion of the Atmorans and Aldmer from their respective continents to Tamriel.

1008 weapons of rapture: 1008 or 108 is usually in reference to Cyrodill (8+1 gods), in Et’Ada, Eight Aedra, Eat the Dreamer, there is mention of 1008 weapons of rapture. This could possibly refer to the Divines, the Middle Dawn that lasted 1008 years, or perhaps 1008 literal weapons.

Thalmor UFOs: Seems to have originated on the iceberg

King Harald and Talos die at 108: There goes that numerology again

Adamantia Scroll rocket: While this seems to have originated on the iceberg once again, there is a group of tes LARPers with the shared name Adamantia

Ghartoki: Mentioned in what my beloved taught me after Vivec reads a symbol on Nerevar’s palms (possibly some sigil, scars or just reading palms). Ghartok in Ehlnofey means hand, and in the sermons it’s often associated with the word Padhome, or change.

Thalmor and Jyggalag: The Altmer are orderly so they worship Jyggalag.

Motheaters: A little song mentioned in this thread https://www.imperial-library.info/content/forum-archives-unknown-posts

Klecksographic Lyg: Another iceberg original, Klecksography is the art of making art from inkblots, essentially this is just saying how lyg was created in a fancy way

Ha-Note is Mehrunes Dagon: https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/3o0uwk/nanote_dagon/ the original theory is here, TL;DR Ha-Note, a monster born from Vivec, renamed itself ‘City-Face’ and fled to Lyg. The ‘grabbers’ grabbed it, because they can’t create things of their own and said they’d build a Hope-Tower upon it’s face. In the Commentaries of Mankar Cameron, he states Mehrunes Dagon was built from hope.

Zurin Arctus=Versidue Shae: An apparently deleted theory, mentioned only in this post debunking it https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/9rs2ad/what_were_the_motives_of_versidue_shaie/

The King’s Cough: Mentioned in Sermon 29, another name for the Thu’um

The Catalyst: The driving force that starts an Enantiomorph 

Tsaescence: A tsaesci word from We ate it to become it, MK states it means it’s the Tsaesci word of “High Perception” In context, seems to mean something similar to CHIM.

Hero of Kvatch=Pelinal Whitestrake: See the Knights of the Nine DLC. (To expand further, there are many similarities between the two, force of change, knight to the emperor/empress)

Amiel Arctus: An old screen name for Michael Kirkbride

The Space Gods: Found in the last song of Pelinal and Eight Aedra Eat the Dreamer, like many things in tes, it’s Lorkhan.

Uriel V: The father of Uriel VI, tried his best to invade Akavir.

Otherkin: You are reading this on tumblr. You know what this is. MK made a lengthy forum post about how Tosh Raka hates the Otherkin for some reason.

Falmer are Hermaified: Horrible word, but there are resemblances between Hermaeus Mora’s shrines, and Falmer shrines.

Invisible Dragons: In morrowind, if you ask M’aiq about dragons, he’ll state they’re too high up to see. Or invisible

Alien Ayleids: A relic from the since deleted bethesda forums. MK wanted to have a plot twist where Ayleids were Aliens.

The insect god: Mentioned in the Adabal-a, or Morhaius’s memoirs. May be a since-retconned god, could possibly be Lorkhan due to his frequent connection with Scarabs.

Suicide Trolls: An easter egg in Oblivion, a poorly scrawled note and a troll found dead under a bridge across the bridge from Bravil.  

Arkay=Arnand the Fox=Zurin Arctus: Zurin Arctus is sometimes called Arnand the Fox (Seen in where were you when the dragon broke) Shor is also represented as the fox, which makes sense since Zurin is a Shezzarine. This connects to Arkay by Malacath/Orkey/Arkay, who is a trickster god (fox like) in Nordic pantheons. Malacath also got compared to a fox once. I never said these theories were well backed up.

Dwarf-Orc theory: referring to Dumac, who is sometimes called Dumalacath, or Dumac Dwarf-Orc, suggesting he has an orcish and dwemer parents. This also may imply there are cross cultural connections between the two groups (especially when you consider the Rourken clan having Volenfell, Malacath’s hammer.), meaning Dwemer blood could still be present within Orcish clans.

Tosh Raka: The Dragon-God of the Ka’Po’Tun. Became a dragon through unknown means (possibly through Dracocrysalis?) Hates the otherkin I guess.

A worn and weathered note: A curious note from Morrowind. https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Morrowind:A_worn_and_weathered_note

TalOS: Talos is called a virus by Jubal in C0da. If you think of the Aurbis as a computer, Talos could be considered analogous to a Trojan Virus when you look at his place in the pantheon of Divines. He used the mantella to cheat-code the universe into accepting it as Lorkhan’s new heart to power the Numidium. An error occurred, and now the universe considers TalOS the new Lorkhan.

King of Worms = The Underking: Both are liches, both are undead, that’s about it. May stem from initial confusion of MK saying there were ‘multiple underkings’ when he meant there were multiple copies of the same person in the dragon break.

500 companions were dragons: the 500 mighty companions, an obscure text calls at least one of the companions a dragon, and some of the names were draconic sounding.

Dreamer can’t wake up: Straight from the mouth of MK, this might mean ‘the Godhead isn’t literal’ or it might literally mean, the universe can’t cease to be because the Godhead just stops.

[blookmallow]

time for some spooky cave adventures, moths, and That Week Where I Was A Vampire 

also i realized you can wield a knife and fork like weapons 

,,,oops

i. forgot neloth had a spell on me to see my memories so he could get my info on the briar heart warriors 

while i went to do like 900 things that were not that 

this. this is like 3 years worth of memory he’s going to have to go through trying to find the one single quest he had me on im crying

this is game hours not real world hours but boy that really puts in perspective how long things are actually taking in the game world lmfao

hey neloth remember that errand you asked me to run three years ago. well I’m back 

hell yeah My Durnehviir

i kept trying to summon him mid-battle because i thought he would come help me but it turns out he just shows up to teach you dragon words. which is also cool, but like, My Dude... A Little Help Here, 

anyway remember how i had to become a vampire to get into the soul cairn. turns out you start needing blood after a while. who could have predicted this 

people actually don’t seem to be able to tell you’re a vampire on sight until you hit “blood starved vampire” levels (i assume. nobody gave me trouble and then i got a “as a blood starved vampire you are hated and feared” message after a while so i figured i better stay outta sight and managed to go undetected)

so i tried killing some bandits to eat their blood. as you do. but for some reason, this does not work. you have to steal blood like you’re pickpocketing someone who’s asleep. i dont know why this is the vampire rules but apparently, this is the vampire rules

i assumed this would kill them, and i didnt want to kill any named npcs for my newfound bloodlust, and didn’t want to go digging around crypts trying to happen upon bandits who were already asleep, so i figured nameless respawning guards were probably my best bet (i mean. i assume they respawn. is it possible to just kill every guard in a city. i dont want to try that) 

so i sneak into the guard house in. falkreath i think 

serana had resurrected a random dead vampire at some point, so it was... me, serana, and a zombie vampire who was audibly groaning at regular intervals, just sneaking around a decently lit building full of guards. here you can see that guy looking directly at me from across the room. and somehow nOBODY NOTICED ANY OF THIS. I GOT IN AND FOUND A VICTIM AND GOT MY BLOOD AND LEFT WITHOUT ANYONE NOTICING A FUCKING THING

then as it turns out, feeding on someone apparently does not kill them or even, like. wake them up. i stole some poor guard’s blood and he didn’t even budge

so while i probably could have made a living as a vampire, i still didn’t want to have to deal with this for the rest of my life, so i went seeking a method of curing my vampirism before the dawnguard could find out. the game doesn’t lead you to do this, i just decided to do it bc i didnt want them to like, attack me on sight or some shit lmao 

being a vampire is cool as shit but also i have like, a family, so i dont really want people to Know and didnt want to deal with the sunlight problem and the. y’know. needing to occasionally feed on people. so. i enjoyed my vampire trial run but all good things come to an end 

this was presented as a really dramatic choice where i must decide whether to kill someone to use their soul to save mine or continue my life as a vampire but i just. already had like 5 black soul gems. that i just found various places. like sure it’s rare to find one with a soul already in it but i have... several... already

anyway im not a vampire anymore :’) 

i sold him the elder scroll and then realized i needed it back so i had to buy it back from him which i felt TERRIBLE about to begin with, but why is my literal only dialogue option here the “fuck you I’m the arch mage” option. why couldn’t i be like “absolutely. in fact lets make it 10,000 coins bc i feel really bad about doing this to you” why do i HAVE to be rude to him. i also can’t give it back again now that the quest is done and i think its still flagged as a Quest Item so i guess i just. have an elder scroll forever now 

i am the moth priestess

really into the like... deep sea creature type things way way at the bottom of this cave

h... hm. the falmer sure know their aesthetic huh 

OHHH

the last snow elf...

or one of the last. still

yooOOOOO what is THAT 

[ absolutely just stuffs my pockets full of as many gleamblossoms as i can find ]

i think i had like 60 of them by the end of this 

i dont even do alchemy i dont need these. im just putting them all over my several houses 

Mushroom Time Again 

im SORRY it was an ACCIDENT :( 

killed this guy and tried to shove him off the cliff but he just. wouldn’t fall. hes just hanging there by one foot 

you cant really see this but i found this. underwater cavern thing just full of dead falmer corpses floating ominously in silence 

then somewhere way deep in a cavern i found this MASSIVE FUCKING BUG????????????

it. it doesn’t Do anything. its just there. its clearly alive. but it. it’s just Here. 

something about navigating way far underground and just seeing this. ungodly huge creature just There not moving not doing anything just Existing hit some weird uncanny “something is Wrong About This, this Should Not Be” corner of my brain i love this guy and i am deeply afraid of him 

MINE????? THE????? BUG???? THE BUG???? 

I DONT WANT TO MINE THE BUG. THAT SEEMS INCREDIBLY RUDE 

i dont know if it hurts it to. mine... the bug... but i didnt want to find out 

i. guess this is where shellbug armor comes from. which would be cool to have but i just dont think i can bring myself to MINE a living. creature. that is alive. and apparently harmless

[missingno]

🔥 Pokémon and/or The Elder Scrolls?

This got. Really long.

Pokémon:

… Wow gen VII was a train wreck. I’m all for redeemable villains, but the problem presented was that neither Guz/ma nor Lusa were actually redeemable. Guz is noted repeatedly by his own grunts to be violent, one straight up calling him a bully, and is implied to have a pretty fucking terrible temper to the point he shatters bottles and destroys the house they’re hanging out in?? Like the grunts say that was his doing? His grunts are straight up afraid of him. He’s not very nice to you, the player either. I dunno, maybe I’m too biased because he reminds me of someone in my life but he seems way too horrible to be… Redeemed. Nor was there really any effort to show him changing… like he’s just suddenly “nice” now. At least with Archie and Maxie they were already pretty friendly to the protagonists and weren’t as threatening.

All of this criticism is two fold for Lusa. The problem is, Lusa is an INCREDIBLE villain. But GF for some reason doesn’t actually want her to be one? Sorry GF, but no, I’m actually not gonna be pleased by you redeeming a woman who abused her children. She says Lillie became beautiful and now we’re supposed to think she’s all good now? I can’t believe GF, the same company who gave us N and Ghet, are for some reason going “psyche, child abuse is okay if it’s your mom!!” They never even gave us a good fucking REASON for her acting the way she did!! Was she possessed by the Beasts?? Was she poisoned?? She was fucked up way before she fused with the jellyfish, so how the fuck does that justify her manipulating and emotionally abusing her children to the point that one runs away??? Like, Looker and Anabel are perfectly fine, so why is her contact poisoning her but not them??? WHY MAKE LILLIE HELP HER??? LILLIE, WHO WAS FUCKED UP FOR YEARS????? “Mother, you’re terrible!” to suddenly fucking off to go heal her mom because she’s “still my mom uwuwuwuwu”. That’s just such an UNBELIEVABLY BAD TAKE for a kids game to give to children. Kids with abusive moms owe said mothers FUCK ALL. There’s no justification for child abuse and it was such an unbelievably bad take I can’t believe this is from the same franchise that gave us a pretty good fukin’ take with N. She’s such a great villain, because she really makes me hate her and want to destroy her, but the game is more interested in making here a uwu mIsUnDeRsToOd BaBy than actually giving us a good villain. Who is, by the way, the only thing close to a female villain in this franchise.

Also the Ultra Beasts and Mega Evolutions are stupid but that’s just my onion there. Why are these aliens cooler than like… the OTHER aliens we have…? Like we have aliens already. Also why can some Pokémon evolve even MORE???

Also Sycamore can suck my dick but that one is absolutely because I think he’s annoying and not for any legitimate criticism.

For the Elder Scrolls:

… Todd…

I’ll start with Morrowind, since that’s where any self-respecting TES fan starts.

I’m joking, apparently Daggerfall is pretty good. I just never played it.

Anyways, Morrowind is conceptually good. I like… A lot of aspects about it. But here’s my HUGE beef with Morrowind: I work for the Imperials, yeah? And the Imperials are against slavery, yes? And House Telvanni practices slavery, mhm? So uhhhhh… WHY IS THE TWIN LAMPS QUEST NOT A MAIN QUESTLINE QUEST? WHY CAN I JOIN HOUSE TELVANNI? I DIDN’T because “slavery = bad” is an incredibly cold take at this fucking point but uhhhh hey Bethesda? What the fuck? Morrowind has a good storyline but that little fact about it kind of makes my skin crawl since it’s… So vile… I do the Twin Lamps questline of course but the fact that it’s an optional sidequest is very off-putting to me.

Plus Morrowind’s combat system sucks ass, but that definitely takes the backroads to you know. Slavery.

10/10 story but 0/10 game for letting people be slave owners because what the fuck.

Did you know Oblivion had their actors read their lines alphabetically? If you played Oblivion, you would. 

Shivering Isles is good, but both Oblivion and Skyrim suffer from the side quests being better than the main quests. In Oblivion’s Thieves Guild you have to STEAL AN ELDER SCROLL!!! Like how COOL is that!!!! Way better than the main quest where you just. Watch your buddy Martin. A lot of Oblivion’s quests feel like there could’ve been... So much more. For example, the Deep Ones. That could’ve been a really interesting quest but instead... It feels like it ended before it really began. The Mage’s Guild is just you being a hired thug for some magicians who barely teach you magic before promoting you, and the boss fight with Mannimarco is... So terrible. This man is a lich, almost a GOD, arguably BECOMES a god, and when you meet him he looks like a bitch in a dumbass Halloween costume. They did my boy Manni SO dirty. This is the KING OF WORMS and he’s treated like he’s just a bandit you have to kill and not, you know, the Necromancer’s Moon, the King of Worms, the GOD of necromancers, the man who tricked a Daedric Prince and almost got away with it. The Dark Brotherhood questline is good though, as is the Thieves’ Guild one.

Skyrim is as wide as an ocean and deep as a lake, I feel. A lot of the storylines feel half-baked. Again, the DB and TG are good questlines, but everything else feels a little... Less put together, and even those two suffer a lot. I hate the radiant quest system of post Hail Sithis! DB a lot... Mother, I am the Listener, the leader of the Black Hand, why am I the one who has to kill Idiot Farmer #3486 on a farm? I killed the EMPEROR, MOTHER! Have some respect for your favorite child! Seriously though, why can’t I pawn off these quests to the two new recruits, or to Nazir and Babette? Also why don’t the new recruits get names? Also why can’t I marry Nazir (please Todd I love him). 

Now, I don’t mind the radiant quests for the TG as much, to be honest, mostly because they’re optional and I can quit them. Plus, I like Vex and Delvin, so it makes me pretty happy to turn in quests to them. But goddamn WHYYYY do I need to go through so. Many. Fucking. RUINS?! I hate dwemer ruins with a passion, and I haaaaaaate that Blindsighted forces you to go through one. Also, somehow, the two trained thieves with my manage to alert the fucking falmer of our presence so I have to go save their asses because I’m the only healer. Also also why... Why can’t I marry Brynjolf... You give me a man who says “lad” enough to rival me, and then I can’t gently kiss his cheek?

Also the Nightingale Hall looks like shit even after you finish the quests. Which is stupid.

Also FUCK the main quest.

[ladyartemina]

Follower Dialogue

Original: ghartokpadhome

Copy and fill out with what your character’s dialogue would be if they were a Follower in the Elder Scrolls!

Stolen From: dolorousheart

Eveyne | Artemina — Huntress | Assassin

Initiating Conversation:

“And you are…?”

“Where’ve you been all my life, handsome.” — Male

“And here I thought my day couldn’t get any better���” — Sarcastically

“No, Arcael Apothecary doesn’t do deliveries. You’ll have to pick it up yourself.” / “Arcael Apothecary burned down with the rest of Helgen, so you’ll have to go elsewhere.” — Post Alduin’s return

“Can I help you?”

“If you want somebody dead, send a courier to the Arcael residence like everybody else. Otherwise, you’re on your own.”

Exiting Conversation:

“Later handsome.” / “May we meet again.” —Male

“Another time then.”

“Goodbye.”

Asked to Wait:

“Oh! No problem! My life revolves around you, you know.” — Sarcastically

“Don’t keep me waiting.” — Male

Spoken to whilst waiting:

“Forgot something did you?” — initiating conversation

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes…” — Male, initiating conversation

“Good, I was getting lonely.” — asked to continue following

“Or leave, that’s fine too…” — Conversation exited without being asked to follow

Asked to move/interact:

“I can do that!” / “That doesn’t look too hard.” — Command given

“Anything for you, handsome.” — Male, command given

“How about…no.” / “Even I’m not that talented.” — Command denied

“Here you go.” / “*bows* My Lord/Lady…” — Command completed

Asked to trade items:

“Whatever you need, handsome.” — Male

“I guess what’s mine is yours.”

“Just remember that I’m not a housecarl. I’m not sworn to carry any of your burdens.”

Dismissed:

“Aw, you’re leaving already.” — Male

“On to brighter horizons?”

“Remember me fondly…or don’t…it’s up to you really.”

“I understand. Should you need me I’ll be back/here in Helgen/Whiterun.” — differs between pre and post-Alduin

After Dismissal:

“Have I not stricken the fear of the Gods in you yet?”

“I’d follow you to the end of Oblivion.” — Male

“What do you say? How about we make the Gods regret bringing us together?”

Combat:

“We’re not alone.”

“Queue the enemy…” — Initiating combat

“Oh dear…you think you’re threatening.”

“I hate those foul beasts.” — after killing a wolf

“I’m still here, and you’re…still not dead.”

“Bye, bye…” — before casting invisibility

“What’s with you conjurers and your wolves!?” — In combat with conjurer

“I’m…sorry…” — Defeated by enemies

“And I thought diplomacy was my strong suit.” / “Was surrender too much to ask?” / “That fool didn’t stand a chance.” — After enemy’s defeat

Other Dialogue (Specific cities, locations, situations, etc.)

“Solitude…where the people where false smiles while they spout patriotic nonsense…” — Solitude

“Now if only the Jarl would make her own decisions, this place might be in good shape…” — Solitude, The Blue Palace

“I considered studying here, but Ma would have never allowed it.” — College of Winterhold

“Anything that isn’t nailed down is subject to disappearance. Keep that in mind, would you?” — Riften

“Oh, how quaint…” — Dwemer Ruins, upon seeing a Falmer camp

“I’ve never liked these places. The constant clanking puts me on edge.” — Dwemer Ruins

“Do try not to set off any traps while we’re here. I don’t fancy scraping you off the walls.” — Nordic Ruins

“I never thought I’d find a place more corrupt than Riften, but this place takes the cake.” — Markarth

“I don’t know about you, but stone beds don’t strike my fancy.” — Markarth, Inn/Bedroom

“We shouldn’t stay here too long. This city will suck the color from us too.” — Windhelm

“Don’t worry, they know me here.” — Whiterun/Helgen

“I can think of several things to do if we stay here tonight.” — Male, any inn

“I’ll do a lot of things, but wolves are where I draw the line.”

“Children are off limits…Geez, I may kill people for a living but I have standards.” — When asked who she won’t kill

“Who needs sunlight anyway…” — When entering a cave

I feel like she’d be a good fit as a multi-layered and multi-quest companion—kind of like Serana. You think you’re signing on with a cool huntress who drops witty one-liners, but really, you’re running around with a self-loathing assassin with mommy issues.

The longer you run around with her, the more she opens up to you—as long as you cycle through her slowly building dialogue options. Eventually, you get the chance to pass a difficult speech check (made easier by allure/persuasion) and she’d give up being an assassin. This would spawn the quest to kill her mother and free her of those binds. She’d briefly leave your service to mourn, but she’d find you 48—in game—hours later in Whiterun. This would also open her up as a marriage candidate.

[firsthold]

Hey I kinda need some cheering up can you talk about some of your ocs or some cool elder scrolls stuff?

ye i can i really hope your day gets better. sorry if i answered this late, mobile doesn’t show notifications for asks anymore.

but i can talk abt my dragonborn astoril! she’s the great granddaughter of my vestige valrae and was born and raised in Mathiisen. her parents and older sister are high ranking members of the thalmor, but she really did not want to join them and thus went to a mages college back on alinor. she ended up being able to transfer to the college of winterhold to study the falmer. astoril was escorted by a thalmor party and was stopped in helgan where alduin attacked and she met antonius, an imperial bard about to get his head chopped off. they both follow in the imperial guy (i can’t remember his name it’s early in the morning aaaahhh) and from there they became two really close friends because what else happens when two people survive a traumatic event like that together?

she spends most of the main quest worrying about not making it to winterhold and eventually comes to hate the thalmor after she sees what horrible things that they’re doing in skyrim.

she and my other oc svenja join the dawnguard and fuck shit up, and she and durnehviir become close.

after dragonborn she becomes a loyal servent of mora

thanks for sending in an ask!