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#I hate that I can...kinda see it 😭😭😭
fizzy-blood · 2 days
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hiiiihaihihi, hope ur doing well fizz ! could i request jeff, toby, and ej w a s/o that has one of those tiny aggressive dogs that do nothing but YAP and growl prettiipls
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JtK, Ticci Toby & EJ with a S/O who owns a yapper dog🗣️💥🐾
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I've been procrastinating on this idk why-
Thank you so much for the ask, anon! I actually had a neighbor with a chuwawa(?) (I dunno how to spell that) so this was a very funny concept.
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Jeff the Killer
His has the same energy as the dog-
Short tempered and will probably bite you
Also I'm convinced half of those dogs that exist in the world have some sort of superiority problem
So does he btw
And before you ask, no, he does not get along with your dog 😭
Well... At first
You know that meme that goes "Dad:we aren't getting a dog. Family:Gets a dog. Dad and the dog:" and it's just them vibing?
That's Jeff and the dog
I also think he'd give off the vibe of the one vine that screams "I LOVE YOU DOG"
It just feels fitting
In my AU Jeff doesn't own Smile Dog or anything but does kinda take care of him (Smile doesn't need it and doesn't really care) so I think Jeff would try to do the same with your dog
Overall 5/10 experience
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Ticci Toby
He doesn't react to anything your dog dose
Like...
It could bite him and he just... Ignores it?
He can't really feel pain so that kinda makes sense but...
I dunno, he just doesn't really care?
No rating cause I have nothing to rate
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Eyeless Jack
Oh no... That's not a good mix
Jack doesn't like loud sounds and can't handle how much your dog barks and yaps
Hates it
Won't really tell you but you can see him glare at that fucking creature everytime he sees it
They do not get along
The dog started yapping when he broke in entered you house in a loving and legal way
Woke you up and scared him so bad-
Imagine being an almost 7ft tall demon man and getting spooked by a dog that's not even taller than your shin 😭
2/10 experience, would not recommend
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I ACTUALLY DID IT!! I FINISHED!! YIPPE I'M SO JOYOUS!! Sorry for taking so long w this one-
Btw I'm opening my ask box again so feel free to send in an ask or request. And don't forget to reblog because likes don't do shit on tumblr...
Hope you enjoyed!! -Fizz
(Paw print dividers created by @sister-lucifer I'm sorry for forgetting pookie 😔)
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Here's another character I would like to submit.
Meet Kaname Tosen!
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He was blind from birth and befriend a woman who dream to become a Soul Reaper and achieving peace. However, she was killed by her husband and was never given justice . From there on, Tosen goal was to have justice with the least amount of bloodshed and his vengeance against Soul Society for never giving her the justice that she deserved. To him, while his friend loved the world, he hated the world she loved as it took her away from him.
He also understood that justice can not always be achieved through goodness and peaceful methods. To him, living a peaceful life without avenging the dead would be evil. Hence, while he betrayed the Soul Soceity and joined Sosuke Aizen.
If you know the lore behind the Society Society it pretty fucked up and why Tosen hated them. I would, too, knowing the fact Soul Society is suppose to be "heaven" but with more corruption and poverty.
See, I saw this and my brain was like "oh, babe will like this, it's another Soul Eater character". And that's when I knew I needed to gone head and hand him the mic, because this is Bleach. And I knew that. But I was at work, and I was tide 😭. I will say, between the two Black characters that get mentioned in this show, I'm glad you sent Tosen. I'm kinda tired of ol girl, bc everywhere you look she's being oversexualized and it's like... We get it. She's your "waifu". 🙄 So yes 👍🏾
Hot Chocolate: Tosen was one of the earliest examples of Black representation for me in anime. He was cool, calm and collected until you got him on his soap box about the soul society 😂. But the fact that he was a captain, gave you a peek into soul society politics, and was strong AF made me happy when he showed up on the screen.... But his full transformation had me like.... 🤢 Why. Ol bug eyed ahh
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m1njeongluvr · 13 hours
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best prom night ever!!
- Alittle angst 😓 mostly fluff tho
A/n : Really bad pls i hate it sm 💔 the first and last time i ever write because i have 0 experience with writing so bear with me now 😭
Pairing: Winter (Aespa) x fem!Y/N
Warning: really cringe
Requested: @pandoraha
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It was a school day. You were just casually walking with your friends Yuna and Chaewon. They were talking about some nonsense. Clothes and fashion or whatever you truly didn't pay attention. All that was on your mind was your girlfriend Minjeong.
She didn't show up to school these past few days and ignored your texts so as anyone would do you were worried about her. You stopped zoning out when someone pushed you slightly with their elbow. It was Yuna. "Y/N! Did you hear anything i said?" You were confused. You didn't pay attention at all. "Sorry what did we talk about?" Yuna sighed. "Do you have any plans for prom? Anyone to go with?" Right. Prom was coming up. Chaewon was going with Yunjin and Yuna was going with Chaeryeong and you.. well you had nobody to go with because Minjeong was ignoring you.
"Not really.." you muttered. "Why don't you ask Soobin? He showed alot of interest in you and asked you multiple times" Chaewon looked at Soobin across the hall talking with some randoms. "Sorry Chae i am.. not really interested." They didn't know you were going out with Minjeong.
The bell rings and you wave to your friends then go to your last class for today. It wasn't that interesting to be honest you just learned about some topics that you truly didn't care about. The class soon ends and you step out of the classroom. The sun cuts thru the hallways, slightly blinding your vision. You just can't shake off the feeling that there is something wrong with Minjeong. It's not like she can just dissapear without a word given the fact that you guys talk everyday.
As you walk home your phone buzzes. You take it out of your pocket and open the notification. Kinda expecting your loved girlfriend to respond to your messages. You sigh when you find out that it was just your friends talking about the prom theme.
You open the door to your apartmant and toss your bag somewhere else. You grab a snack and sit on your bed. It became a slight routine for you.
You turn on the tv to distract yourself but you just can't stop thinking about your girlfriend. Why won't she answer? Why wasn't she in school? You grab your phone and write a text to minjeong. "Hey mj. Just wanted to check up on you. What happened? Where are you? Why weren't you at school?" You sigh when you see another message being left on delievered. You toss your phone next to you and cover your face with your hands. A thought came into your mind. What if you ask her to meet up? Minjeong really likes going out especially with you so it wouldn't hurt to try. "Would you like to meet up? We can go to the park and just talk about things.." you hit send and go to bed.
The next day slowly rolls in and the minutes pass by like hours. The last bell rings and you run to your car. You get to the car and go to your favorite place to be with your favorite person. You scan around to see if her familiar figure has appeared. You spot her at a bench and sit next to her.
"Hey.." you say softly. "Hey," she replies quietly, almost like a whisper, "how have you been?" she continues. "Good i guess. What about you?" You question, looking at her hands that were playing with the strings of her hoodie. "Just... family and stuff" you nod. "You know that we are dating right? You can tell me anything that comes to your mind.. I may not have the best advice but i am willing to listen."
She looks at you and smiles. "Thank you.. I haven’t been handling things well. There’s this pressure to keep up with grades and everyone expects so much from me... But I don’t even know what I want for myself.. It's really hard you know.?"
You feel a pang in your chest. “You don’t have to have everything figured out right now. It’s okay to take your time.” Minjeong chuckles softly, but it’s tinged with sadness. “I guess it’s hard to remember that when everyone else seems so certain. And then there’s you…” She pauses, a hint of a smile breaking through the heaviness. “You seem to have everything under control. I didn’t want to drag you down with my problems.”
“Minjeong…” you begin, but she holds up a hand, stopping you.
“It’s just… I didn’t want you to see me like this. I felt so alone.” Her voice cracks, and you feel your heart ache even more. “I didn’t even answer your texts because I thought you’d get tired of me. I didn’t want to make you worry. You mean alot to me so i want you to be happy."
You scoot closer, placing a hand gently on her back. "You could never be a burden to me. I care about you too much for that." The sincerity in your voice seems to resonate, and you watch her expression soften.
"Honestly, it felt nice to be missed," she admits, her voice suddenly steadier. "I thought maybe you'd forget about me if I disappeared for a while."
"Forget about you?" You laugh lightly, trying to cut through the tension. "That's impossible. You mean too much to me."
A small smile breaks through her worry-the first genuine expression you've seen from her in days. "Really?"
"Really," you confirm, your voice earnest. "You're not just my girlfriend; you're my best friend. And I want to support you through whatever you're going through."
The light of the setting sun casts a warm glow, bathing you both in a soft embrace. If you could bottle this moment, you'd keep it forever. It feels like the weight of the world is beginning to lift, and with it, a renewed sense of hope.
As you sit in comfortable silence you decide to get alittle bold. You kiss her softly on the lips. Minjeong seemed suprised but kissed back. "Gosh i missed you." Minjeong laughes at your comment and pats your head. "I missed you too my love."
You hug it out and get up. "One last thing before we leave.." Minjeong looks at you "what is it?" You take a slight deep breath and say "Well would you like to go to prom with me? You know.. to get your mind off of things? It will be our chance to just enjoy ourselves... no pressure just us being together."
Minjeong slightly chuckles and smiles at you. "Yes of course i would love to go to prom with you. I could really use some fun now." You smile happily and hug her again. "It's a date then! I will make it the best prom you have ever been to!" You claim. Minjeong just smiles at you, falling inlove with you even harder than before.
You pay your goodbyes and walk home. It's gonna be an amazing week after all.
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wombywoo · 3 months
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Have you seen the Winx live action of netflix? (personally I think it's terrible xd) because there is this kind of couple that looks like quinncent but maybe it's me
asdfghjkl no I have not, and likely never will 😔✋but a quick google search has led me to believe you're referring to these two guys 👇 and I'm laughing so much 🤣😂
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these names are so terrible omg 🤣
my ocs if they were on the CW:
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kaiiscottage · 7 months
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JUST WHEN THE WERE STARTING TO GET ALONG AGAIN IT'S SO OVER I'M GONNA LOSE IT
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akkivee · 5 months
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Navy Curry Straight Out From 'Hama: Hypmic Curry Drama Track TL
i was able to get the hypmic curry and figured it’d be cool to share what the tracks were about!! the tracks themselves aren’t publicly available tho, so do buy the curry if it becomes available again!! enjoy!!!
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Rio: *humming a tune*
Rio: …Go Shawty🎵 Go Shawty🎵
Samatoki: …Damn it.
Juto: We really are in a bind…
Rio: Why are you both just standing over there for?
Juto: O-Oh, it’s just, I can’t help but be in awe over the amount of disgus— fine ingredients you have…
Rio: My catch was exceptional today. The gods of the hunt must have felt generous.
Samatoki: Rio, just to be clear, you said you’re making curry right?
Rio: Affirmative; I’ve also prepared spices. Everything has been properly gathered.
Samatoki: T-That’s great then…
Samatoki: No matter which way he cooks it, nobody’s gonna want to eat this…!
Juto: I can already see us getting reported to the Consumer’s Bureau. The lawsuits are just waiting to happen…
Rio: What are you two whispering about?
Samatoki: Nothing.
Juto: It’s nothing!
Cow: *moos*
Juto: A cow?!
Rio: I was fortunate enough to have caught a bull alive in one of my traps.
Samatoki: So, we could have had a beef curry, huh…
Juto: Clearly! So how do we get him to use that instead??
Samatoki: I got this. Hey, Rio, you’re not gonna use the cow in the curry? I think it’d be fine with just that.
Rio: No, I intend to use just these ingredients. More ingredients do not necessitate a better curry.
Juto: Of course that’s the response!
Rio: Now then, let’s begin cooking. First, is the onion. Chop it into small pieces and fry it in butter until golden brown.
Juto: U-Understood.
Rio: Samatoki, I’ll leave you to grate the apples.
Samatoki: T-That’s a hell of a lot of apples.
Rio: I intend for them to be a standout flavour in the curry. After, combine them with the fried onions.
Samatoki: S-Sure.
Rio: As for me, I will be preparing the fond de veau.
Juto: At this rate, the curry will be completed as intended…!
Samatoki: Maybe I can knock him out…? No, Rio doesn’t have any openings.
Rio:…Hm?
Samatoki: What’s wrong?
Rio: I’ve used up too much water preparing the ingredients and don’t have enough to use in the curry. May you keep an eye on everything as I go and retrieve more water from the spring?
Juto: Of course! You won’t have to worry about us here!
Samatoki: Make sure you watch your step heading out there.
Rio: Thank you. I’ll be back soon.
Juto: With the way Rio moves, it’ll probably be 10 minutes before he returns… Within that time, we must get rid of those ingredients somehow!
Samatoki: Juto! Don’t just stand there looking stupid and come help me out here!
Juto: ?! You’re making a hot pot with those ingredients? What are you intending to do with that??
Samatoki: Just shut up and cook!
Juto: Then I suppose you have a plan in mind?
Samatoki: Yeah.
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Samatoki: It’s about done. Oi, Juto. Here.
Juto: A fork? Why would I—? Surely you can’t mean—!
Samatoki: Better clench that gut. This is the only way!
Juto: Guh! Never would I have expected to have to protect Yokohama in this way…!
Samatoki & Juto: Here we go!
Samatoki & Juto: *choking down the food*
Rio: Samatoki, Juto, what’s going on—? We don’t have any ingredients left?
Samatoki: S-Sorry about that Rio. I just got too hungry to wait.
Juto: W-With all this food around, I couldn’t bring myself to stop eating.
Rio: I see… Apologies, I didn’t realise how hungry the both of you had gotten. …Well, I suppose I will just have to use this cow in the curry.
Juto: Yes, it truly is a shame, but it seems we have no other choice but to do so!
Samatoki: Haha! With our “Navy Curry Straight Out From ‘Hama,” we’re winning this whole thing!
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kasper7489 · 4 months
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I kinda hopped into the dc fandom by reading fics (I know I know lmao)
But as I've read more comics and looked into different characterization and analysis I now have a more developed idea as to how I view a lot of the characters and have preferences to how their written. I'm def the type to click out a fic if I find myself thinking 'he would not fucking say that'
Anyway this is just to say it's very funny to me when I go thru some of the fics I bookmarked at the begining of my interest and find myself going Uh Oh! I don't think I can read this anymore!
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I've been trying to create something for WandaVizh anniversary.....but uhh I hated how it turned out so I'll probably not post the whole thing
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it's Vizh standing over a big painting of Wanda... Idk something sad ig....
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lesbiradshaw · 10 months
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three shots in trying to figure out what bradley was planning on doing with his poli sci degree if getting in the navy didn’t pan out
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zestyaahbutler · 1 month
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Wait is her psychiatrist Hannibal?!?!
Hey!! Something like that 🙂 her psychiatrist is heavily inspired by Hannibal.
I really enjoyed Silence of the Lambs and the Hannibal series and movies. I haven't read the books which I really should. But I am super interested in Hannibal as a character. I'm also a firm enjoyer of the cannibal trope as both a metaphor for love but also exploitation of power/ego.
Shes a redhead with a 70s blowout. Think curtain bangs but this is another image that is very her energy.
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Amulya's psychiatrist is a woman by the name of Milana Spezia Deodato. She is an Italian woman that originates from a family of werewolf hunters. From a young age she was raised to be a hunter and it caused her to develop some peculiar behaviors and habits as a result. On the outside though, she is a very intelligent woman who at most seems a little eccentric and polite but snooty. She is also known as a very good cook! She was hired in the 1970s by Hellsing via a recommendation l from Sir Islands.
In my lore, I have it as Islands beinf part of the roundtable but his family owns and runs hospitals. Milana did her years of residency at one of the hospitals that the Islands operated. She obviously made an impression with the family and Islands himself for her background in monster hunting and how she was researching how to apply it to her field of psychiatry. Islands suggested her to Arthur for a new department of Hellsing that was focused in rehabilitating individuals who had experienced encounters with the supernatural. This was in hopes of keeping the operations of Hellsing from the public more and that people could return to normalcy in an easier fashion. Some people who have those experiences never exactly recover.
For Milana, she was given people to research and treat, while she got a good paycheck. But it also gave her plenty of food. Her cannibal habits are not known by anyone in Hellsing(aside from Walter ofc but listennn). Anybody she takes are simply seen as having fallen in battle and missing. She was always very good at covering her tracks.
Arthur handing Amulya to her was out of desperation because realistically, Amulya couldn't express the worries she had to any psychiatrist. It would put Hellsing at risk. Additionally, it gave Amulya someone in-house to talk to. If she had an episode, she always had immediate support through someone with actual experience and licensing.
Amulya came to rely on her and was being treated properly for some time. Many of her lapses was due to her own spiraling.
Milana had varying thoughts on her. She found her intriguing and a good ticket to get a look at what Arthur is like behind closed doors. She found herself very entertained by her dynamic between Amulya and Walter. She knew of his feelings from observing them both. It wasn't neccesarily wanting to match them up but more that she was interesting in seeing what would happen. The possibilities, the reactions of them all. She did eventually get bored of the situation. Milana did know Amulya was going to commit suicide before it occurred. It was how it affect Arthur, Walter, and anyone else in the organization. She got what she wanted, though she was out under alot of pressure by Arthur after the fact but Amulya's death was seen as her mental state getting the better of her.
After one of her attempts, Milana did start doing sessions with Walter. It was a conflict of interest but they couldn't exactly afford anyone outside of the organization. Their sessions was ordered by Arthur so Walter couldn't exactly refuse. Walter was never a fan of her. She had a habit of prodding anyone she talked to so he felt like he was always under a microscope. He never wanted to be analyzed while all she wanted to do was analyze him. Milana knew he was involved in an organization separate from Hellsing while he found out she was a murderer and cannibal. He was disgusted with her despite his own actions. Really they were two fucked up individuals that found a messed up but hesitant (on Walter's side) kinship with one another.
Milana remains in Hellsing till after the battle of London where she moves to America for a new start and new roster of meals.
Her and Walter's dynamic is this:
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hilarybanks · 5 months
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it’s 2024. you can mute and blacklist tags and unfollow people if you must. you curate your space. y’all need to do that more
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skitskatdacat63 · 5 months
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Here is a badly drawn comic of my terrible, awkward group project experience from yesterday. I thought it was very absurd so I wanted to share it other people lol :)
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Let me know, how do you find their conduct 😭
#i tried to small talk#and they werent rly listening and were like i just wanna get this done w so i can eat#yet talked to me abt smth random after#but the moving the laptop is what made me draw this 😭#like is that not absurd????#i dont wanna rewatch the video#but i wanna see what the camera frame looked like#bcs from what i saw my drawing is p accurate#but yeah they also talked for the majority of the time#even tho i did more research bcs they took up most of the slides#AND ALSO TOOK MY IDEAS#im like uhhhh im p sure [insert slide topic] is required!!!#and i went to go start writing it#and theyre like oh okay ill do that slide#and even tho i kept reminding them of the slide requirement#they kept being like ugh i cant think of anything#and then would take my ideas when i proposed them#like the conclusion part was to write a proposal abt what solution can be made for the current event topic#AND i took notes the night before and wrote down the idea for the solution#and i told them and theyre like oh yeah thats okay and started writing those slides#i know i should be more assertive but im so conflict avoidant and was kinda like oh. okay. ah.#lmao i hope this doesnt make me come off as someone victimizing themselves#im just annoyed 😭😭#and also this person was on my abroad trip and we all hated them#but i felt bad abt how much we hated them and theyre(I THOUGHT) much more chill in a classroom setting#so i kinda softened my hate for them and theyre the only person i know in my class rly#so im like ahhhh we should work together!#and now i remember why i dislike them 😭😭#catie.rambling.txt#catie.art.
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Also gonna send my criticisms of The Walking Dead TV show's treatment of Black characters as a separate ask.
So, to put it simply. The Walking Dead show has a horrible tendency of killing off its Black characters. Like, to the point it's a semi-common joke/theory that they have a quota on how many Black characters they can have.
Spoilers for most of the TV show, continue at your own risk
At the start of the show, we have two Black characters; Jacqui and T-dog. Jacqui only appears in the first season (7 episodes). She had very little presence in the show, only showing up for brief dialogue or to guide the other characters. She dies comforting a (white) man, who she decided to not leave alone in his final moments.
T-dog lasts three seasons (22 episodes) and gets more time in the spotlight. He's quiet, compassionate, and very selfless, the kind of guy who spent the early days of the apocalypse transporting old people to safety in a church van.
He also gets called the n-word and is beaten horribly within the first few episodes by Merle (...who is widely loved by the fandom despite this). T-dog still attempts to save Merle's life later, as Merle was, himself beaten up and cuffed to a pipe after committing a hate crime.
Throughout most of the series he's a pretty regular good guy. He's resistant to hurting people (even in self defense), he helps out other survivors, very normal stuff.
Then he dies while saving another (white) character.
Then we meet Big Tiny, Andrew, and Oscar, a trio of Black prisoners. Big Tiny dies almost instantly. Andrew is killed by Oscar. Oscar is killed during a rescue mission for two other characters (one white).
Then we meet Bob! He's another normal, decent man, doesn't stand out much. Then he's bitten by a zombie and has his leg eaten by (mostly white) cannibals. Tyreese puts him out of his misery.
Tyreese and Sasha are a pair of siblings. Sasha survives for most of the show, Tyreese survives a couple seasons. He's strong, protective, quiet, and wise. He beats up zombies with a hammer, pretty cool.
He is bitten by a zombie and dies not long after a new Black character is introduced.
That brings us to Noah; he's polite, helpful, intelligent, and interested in architecture. He even builds a close friendship with another member of the main cast.
Then a white man sacrifices him to zombies to survives. And he just... kinda allows it so the other guy present can survive.
Let's not forget about Sasha. She gets a pretty long run on the show; she's loyal, practical, has strong morals, is a great leader, and is amazing with a gun. She even has a couple romance arcs... one with Bob (the guy who got eaten), and the other is a man who is violently beaten to death in front of her.
She commits suicide and becomes a zombie to avenge her second boyfriend (who was white), attempting to bite the man who killed him.
I'm sure you can see the pattern... Black characters die and are replaced by a shiny new Black character. When they die, it's often directly connected to a white character.
If I remember right... around three Black main characters made it to the end of the show.
In comparison, three of the four Telltale games put their Black characters front and centre (the third game stars a Latino man, but a Black girl is still the deuteragonist). These characters are varied, loved by their peers, people sacrifice for them, people want to save them.
Well I guess I have no interest in ever watching this, huh 🤣 my reactions
Jacqui: 🙄 of course
T-Dog: shoulda left dude stuck to that pipe. Let a zombie get him, even. How do you find time to be racist during a zombie apocalypse? Nah, I'd let him die. He better than me.
Big Tiny, Andrew, and Oscar: here one moment gone the next
Bob: poor Bob 😭
Tyreese and Sasha: no, Tyreese 😭
Noah: is Noah the one that was played by Tyler James Williams?? Where he got caught in the spinning door? Because I remember that shit! I remember being HORRIFIED bc omg that's 1) Chris and 2) WHY IS HE DYING?? 3) now im scared of revolving doors
Sasha: 🙄🙄🙄🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ now Sasha. Girl.
That is too much lmao damn.
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runningatypufullspeed · 6 months
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WOULD YOU GUYS LIKE TO SEE MY FUGLY UGLY ASS ALLEGORY OF THE CAVE X FAHRENHEIT 451 CROSSOVER DRAWING THAT I WAS FORCED TO DO FOR SCHOOL….. ITS SO UGLY AND MONTAG IS
WHITE.
AND THE HOUNDS ARE DISGUSTING THE COLORING IS SO SHITTY AND MILDRED …. Well ok she looks alright kindof but the COLORING ….. SKETCH WAS BETTER but do you guys. Do you still want to see it…….,,,,,,
ALSO NO OFFENSE TO WHITE PEOPLE PLEASE I LOVE YOU GUYS 🫶😁👍 within reason
#like ok maybe it isn’t. THAT bad#NO NO I TAKE THAT BACK I JUST LOOKED AT IT RIGHT NOW AND THE COMPOSITION IS ALL FUCKING VOER THE PLACE#IT. IT IS. THAT BAD#IF YOU GUYS SAY YESS YOULL SEE#ok but nasty bad art aside I know some of you will be asking why white Montag is such a bad thing and#there isn’t anything wrong with it!!! it’s just that for me personally#after I did a bit more thinking I was. physically incapable of perceiving Montag as anything other than POC/nonwhite#so when I look back at my old f451 art and stare into the eyes of a pale skittish twink it just#it doesn’t click. like that isn’t MY Montag if ykwim#now trembling BROWN skittish twink. that’s a different story#AGAIN I DONT have any issues with ppl making their own versions white I just think that . for me specifically. he looked a bit funny#a little off. a bit too crackerish for my liking#where is bros melanin 😭#I’m complaining right now but if I wanted to I could just… go in and try and make the skin tone darker#I might do that depending on how tired I feel after doomscrolling#also if it matters even though I have read the book over at least 8 times now not once have I touched either of the movies.#and it will STAY THAT WAY. until I completely log my notes for the book#then I can move on to the movies 🥰#but I will admit 2018 did sort of lead me to having a change of heart w my design. just a little. just a teensy bit. kinda. sort of?#actually not really now that I think about it#I have my own reasons.#TOO MANY WHITE PEOPLE MY EYES THEY BURN AAAYHHHHH MY EYES OW OW OW OWIEEEE#my Beatty design was so white that my eyes developed stage 4 cataracts#I needed a palate cleanser that WASNT Millie… oh god my Millie design…#she was white there too. terrible#it’s okay… 💔 I’ve since learned and moved on#ARGH GUYS I DONT HATE WHITE PEOPLE I JUST THINK THAT MORE SKIN COLOR VARIATIONS WOULD E NICE
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daz4i · 7 months
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yknow i noticed the small steps method doesn't help me and only stresses me out more. and like i just get stuck on the first step anyway and never move on to the next one, i'll probably even go back to the start eventually really. i'm apparently an all or nothing guy i can't think of an action as multiple actions bc it stresses me out i just need to either do it or not. the problem is i usually end up not
#i talked to my social worker abt this today#bc like he said that in order to have an easier time going outside i need to do it often enough to get used to it#but for me it's like. i go outside when i need to. yknow?#(days where my anxiety is painfully debilitating don't count lol)#i'm gonna be uncomfortable anyway. bc being outside is inherently unpleasant for me. it's not smth i can get used to#i compared this to going to the dentist. you do it bc you have to but you won't go just to get used to it yknow?#so my thought process is. i'm gonna have to start going outside every day soon for the art program. so i'm just gonna do it#i took a bus one time with my mentor/guide(??) to see that i can do it and i did. so i broke the barrier kinda#but it's not like i'm just gonna take the bus for fun?? i'll get used to it as i do it. i think. like i was before. hopefully#idk it feels pretty obvious to me but it baffled him i think 😭#both of them offered to just go downstairs with me. sit at the lobby of my building or smth#but it feels silly to me like. if i'm getting dressed i may as well go do smth yknow??#idk. again it makes a lot of sense to me but i don't think they get it#i think i'm generally very odd when it comes to other ppl in this recovery program 😭😭 just like i was in that social anxiety support group#(aka everyone went there for stage fright which isn't an issue for me i like being on a stage. hate one on one conversations tho -#- which was comfortable for them. so this was. well. the first step!!! in a lot of its sessions. and it just made me feel bad)#anyway that was my ramble. sorry. my brain is weird
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guideaus · 1 month
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every time i get done liveblogging some series on here, and i go to the tag, i see people that consider themselves part of the fandom have me blocked 😭😭😭
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