talking myself down again---
do i even like him? can we even hold a conversation together? what if he did like me back, then what? would i even want to be with him? can i really find joy in him? is my worth really tied to the affections of this man? tied to any affections to any man? how do i feel when i am not trying to be what i think a man wants me to be? (i feel really fucken good). is the fact that he has a gf really a reflection of my worth and my reality? just because there's a sliver of life i am not experiencing, does that mean its all that my life will be? am i done meeting all the men i'll ever meet in my life? why does holding onto this guy and the associated feelings so important? why do i let him be a projection of what i lack?
there's plenty of guys. there's plenty of time. and one day its going to align and i'll have my somebody and feel very good. and i'd feel like myself. also listen @ me, i've done something right because they still want me around! enjoy it and don't believe someone else's actions are to spite me or meant to make me feel less than! i think these bad feelings are just a combo of me having bad body images again and seeing a photo of myself and not liking what i see. i can't seem to expel that toxicity skldjklfdsjklfds
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this is so messy but this image from a very late scene in this old fic by Gabrie_DwelleR where oswald impersonates clayface impersonating him wouldn't leave my brain so I had to draw it
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Lovely-eyed, Death-touched
Say my name
And every colour illuminates
We are shining
And we will never be afraid again
Circe, my beloved. Her birthday is fast approaching so here's some more recent art of her! This is what she looks like at the start of the book! No tattoos, no piercings, and long beautiful hair. Much changes as the series goes on, but I will always have a soft spot for this era of her looks <3
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Mild Spoilers for the prologue of Tails Noir/Backbone‼️
This isn’t the exact dialogue they had in the game, but it’s hard to have that first conversation with Larry in the prologue without cringing because from a game that doesn’t have any voice acting i could still hear how awkward Howard was through his Nicholas Cage sounding ass voice(that’s canonically how he sounds btw)
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Just listened back to a drunk voice note I sent Kofi on Saturday and holy shit you guys nobody told me how bad I lisp when I'm drunk
Literally most of the time the remnants of my childhood lisp are like. a slight softness/buzz on sibilant sounds. In this message it's a full on eth. "That thoundth nithe." there's even like. emphasis on the eth. I sound like a cartoon character. Don't get me wrong it's adorable. wild though. I literally didn't even notice when I was recording it that I was stumbling on the sibilances.
All I can thay is I'm thoooooo lucky that I'm the twin they gave a name containing an eth, not the twin they gave a name beginning with S. "Ruth" is a blessing to a child with a pronounced lisp. "Lisp", by the way, is not.
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