#I hate burnout so I do this to pass the time

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

What's more is, I'm not sure about anyone else, but my school started enforcing this in 6th grade. I mean enforce.

Beginning in the 6th grade, history class required us every Friday to bring in some news article of a current event, and we began our classes with each student presenting a summary of their event.

Our English class required us to write a periodical weekly on a current event.

Our science teacher required every student to bring in articles each week regarding scientific current events, whether about disease, discovery, developments, etc.

If there was a huge event happening, our teachers loaded the live stream on every classroom computer but kept it silent, just so we could watch as we learned.

And every teacher repeatedly told us, especially our history teacher, it was our responsibility as US citizens to keep up with the worldwide news. No exception. He forced it down our throats that we had to morally throw ourselves into the worldwide happenings daily and that we should all watch multiple news sources. Our English teacher did the same.

And for every single year following until graduation, it was enforced in our curriculum to keep up with worldwide news without any exception unless we wanted to fail and repeat the year since the majority of our grades relied on the homework which, again, was always based on current events.

That fucking term. "Current events". It sickens me. It's legitimately traumatic.

Because you know what happened to every single student in my school by junior year?

We were depressed as fuck without reprieve, unable to even focus in class with half the kids falling asleep at their desks, no one was happy, and literally all of us hated our lives. Many were admitted to mental hospitals for anxiety and depression issues, and it wasn't unusual to see someone gone for days or weeks at a time and for others to forget about them existing entirely because it's a very small school with less than 1,000 kids and you just let shit slide there. And that missing kid was always in a mental health crisis of some sort.

As an adult who's been out of school for 7 years now, I'm trying my damnedest to break the habit of burying myself in the news that my school enforced.

I don't know what's going on at all anymore. I don't pay attention because I need to focus on myself, my health physically and mentally, I need to take care of my sick mother and my father who is getting a hip replacement next month, I have to work and pay off my car repair, I have a life to fucking live.

And that life is not obligated to impart itself entirely unto the worldly events that drain my will to live and cause nothing but depression, despair, and immense sorrow.

People have called me selfish for this. They've called me careless and ignorant, said I'm looking at the world through rose colored lenses.

But you know what isn't selfish? Helping my homeless friend by cooking her meals and offering a place to stay. Translating Spanish to English at the store for customers and workers who don't understand each other even though I don't work there I'm just shopping. Standing by my best friend whose dog just passed tragically from cancer this week. Helping my neighbors clean the fallen branches in their yards because they're elderly and can't do that. Stopping when I see a car broken down to ask if they need a cable jump or tools for repair.

The point is there are countless other ways to be morally and ethically good that aren't dependent on burnout and enthralling yourself in world news. There are ways to help that don't require money and donations, too. I'm disabled on very limited income, and I still do my part without being able to donate.

Give your neighbor a hand. Help that stranger with their car. Give some food to the homeless. Put your old books in the little free library. Be genuinely kind and understanding to folks you come across whether daily or just once in a lifetime. Donate clothes you dislike or no longer wear to the local foundations and drives.

But for fucks sake, stop burning yourselves to the point you're melted wax in the glass jar with no wick to reignite you.

the social norm of “its your ethical responsibility to be constantly aware of, and angry about, every bad thing happening in the world at all times, even if you can’t possibly do anything about it” is possibly the best way I can imagine to create burnout and cynicism and depression in a population, so good job guys

[happypotato48]

GMMTV 2025 Part 1 Unhinged Tangent Thoughts

Well well well, here we go again. gmmtv the first horseman of the QL apocalypse has grace/curse us again with their presence. surely there would be something worth watching out of this branded trash fire. i will left that one het show out because i don't go there but lol, Nanon really is the last bastion for straight people huh? 🤣

รักแห่งสยาม (The Love of Siam) The Musical : i was 12 when this movie came out so i didn't watched it in theater, only catch it later online when i was in my late teen. tbh i didn't really liked it, i was knee deep in yaoi at that point so i found this movie to be a bit boring. let see how it goes but fornow... no comment.

Dare you to death ไขคดีเป็น เห็นคดีตาย : Eeh, not gonna lie i'm not feeling this one fams. joongdunk doesn't sold me as an actors that could do mystery well. i might be wrong but i'm putting this one for a maybe.

ไหนใครว่าพวกมันไม่ถูกกัน (Head 2 Head) : Only boo! did major disappointed me, and this one seems to be a basic BL so i'm not having much hope. but i still want to see how SeaKeen doing as an growing actors. i'm going to tune in for the first couple EPs then see how it goes.

Burnout Syndrome ภาวะรักคนหม��ไฟ : They already got me at Off being naked, and a messy love triangle nonetheless yes plzzzz. glasses guy (i refuse to learn his name) need more workshop, he's too stiff and wooden to sell me on this messy romance he going to has with Gun.

คุณวาฬร้านชำ (Whale Store xoxo) : Its looks cute and i do like LoveMilk. another one in the show up for the couple first EPs pile.

Only Friends : Dream On : or as i dubbed Only Firends 2 These Homosexuals are about to get electrocute boogaloo. i refused to watch Only Friends season one and i will refuse this show again. .... will definitely show up for sex scenes that will get cut up an posts on twitter tho.

That Summer ผมเจอเจ้าชายบนชายหาด : NOPE! next one plz. jk this one seems boring and basic and i hate prince and princess story in thai media. cuz you know the la majeste law is a thing so they are always come from some imagined country and i just don't like that. this one goes to the never to maybe if i hear some buzz pile.

My Romance Scammer รักจริง หลังแต่ง : Sign me the fuck up! let gooo! i'm in a weddings mood and this one has Hot Ohm as a scammer and Dimple Fluke as a dumb himbo whose marriage someone after knowing them for a month. yessss! this show is specifically made for me and i will be seated! Mark and Junior also there i guess.

ความลับในบทเพลงที่บรรเลงไม่รู้จบ (Melody of Secrets) : this show is not really my style but forcebook is forcebook and i'm an easy whore. plus they did ripped my heart out in that ep of PP. i will be watching with caution cause let be real we have no faith in gmmtv to pull this kind of thing off :P

รักครูเท่าโลกเลย Love you teacher : *a loud voice of thousand people yelling Shame! Shame! in background, me tapping the mic : Perth might pull this one off y'all. LET ME COOK! hear me out hear me out this trailer is the first time that Perth feels like he understood the assignment. he looks grumpy and tired but also really in love with Santa's character. this is the first time that this boy made me feels things and i'm just happy for him. AND LET ME BE CLEAR i never read any age regression fics before in my life so this is not even in my trash turf. but idk, i feels thing and it's fluffy and nice. so i will be watching, plz don't judge me.

MU-TE-LUV โปรดใช้วิจารณญาณในการรักเธอ : uhhhhh i'll watch the kathoeys ep and that's it :P

เปย์รักด้วยแมวเลี้ยง (Cat for Cash) : i'm not a firstkhaotung boyie so idk seems like another basic one. another one to the maybe pile wooo!

Girl Rules กฎหลัก...ห้ามรักเธอ : Only Friends but for the girls, pass.

เปิดเท���มใหม่ หัวใจหัดรัก (Boys in love) : Basic highschool BL with PodPapang as a side in 4 couples show?!!? what sin did i commited huh!? gmmtv why are you doing me dirty like this. i will be watching it for the newbies and PodPapang but i will be holding a grudge the entire time.

ทำนายทายทัพ (My Magic Prophecy) : My babies are back!!! and Sea is swol, my, my. don't know what to think of it yet also wtf with all the tarot and fortune readings did someone at gmmtv is going through a divorce ??. anyway i'm a royal whore so i will be seated for this one.

หมาเห่าเครื่องบิน (A Dog and A Plane) : TAYNEW is back in a bl fucking finally!! this one seems promising with its plot and the comedy seems strong. poon also in this as a hussy and i can't be more stroke for my boy. i'm a bit worry about class disparity again cause the thai name of this show is "A dog barking at a plane" it's idiom that mean a lower class person pursuing someone out of their status. we got burned before with peaceful property so holding out hope that we'll not to going get burn again.

มีสติหน่อยคุณธีร์ (Me and Thee) : Phuwin doing comedy inner monologue?! You son of a bitch i'm in. although Fish upon the sky sucked ass in terms of plot imo it was one of the best BL comedy coming out of thailand in recent years and this show reminded me so much of that. at worst it going to be funny nonsense of a show, so what could possibly go wrong hehe (plz don't fuck this up gmmtv.)

WU : Oh hell no! this show is going to be a bromance i've learned my leason from PP and i will not going there again. its looks cool but i'm not doing it I CAN'T!

จาฤกรติชา (Memoir of Rati) : i'm not fan of period piece but this one seems angsty and queer. and maybe second time's the charm for greatinn. they also uses a cheap trick of Great's oilly naked body to lure us in like the siren song of abs and sadly that worked for me 😅

Ticket To Heaven เด็กชายไม่ไปสวรรค์ : G4 are not in a cutesy BL Wowoh! i really like the trailer for this one. the thai name for this show is "Boys/Boy don't goes to heaven" and it's make me get all the feels. i'm intrigued and excited for this one the most cause this one doesn't feels like a typical gmmtv show and against all odd i will hope they could deliver.

Welp let see, i'm excited for 5 out of what 20 shows?? oohh boy gmmtv really in the we throwing things untill something stick era ain't they. i think i'm in the more hopeful side of people whose has been burned by gmmtv. so i'm really hoping that the more unique shows that they got would actually turn out great cause despite what i've said lately about Thai BL, i'm very passionate about them and want to see them do well. i want to see Thai BL and Thai media in general to be someday be recognized on the global level, and gmmtv with all it woes is still the leading voice in this industry. i want them to learns and grow out of this idol manufacturer mindset, which maybe a wishful thinking but i'm still going to be holding up hope for a better days for Thai BL. any fucking way don't fuck Ticket To Heaven up gmmtv or i will be doing cursing ritual on you!

[romayeel]

I barely post anything on social media, so as an apology, take some of these critters I brew up while I am bored, hope this makes up for it.

+ uncolored ones

[plantenjoyer]

I SWEAR I KEEP TRYING TO DO ART BUT THEN SOMETHING GETS IN THE WAY AND THEN I PROCRASTINATE AND THEN SIX MONTHS PASS

[whumptober]

WHUMPTOBER 2024: PROMPTS LIST

Welcome to Whumptober 2024 — Seventh Time's a Charm!

Please make sure to read the Event Info and FAQ below carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

This year's playlist can be found here.

The 'Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt' post can be found here.

And our 'Resources for Writing Sensitive Topics' post is here.

We’re very excited to see the community come together for another year of Whumptober! Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(Text versions of the prompts, as well as event information, rules and FAQ are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2024 Prompt List

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK

Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.�� (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 12: STARVATION

Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD

Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO

Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST

Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

No. 21: BODY HORROR

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 28: DENIAL

CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

Alternatives List:

Body Swap

Communication Barrier

Finding Old Messages

Forgotten

Friendly Fire

Motion Sickness

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Regret

Secrets Revealed

Shivering

Survivor's Guilt

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

Event Info & Rules

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. They are meant to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is “flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be a reference to an ‘old flame’ - an old relationship. It’s truly down to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day. These are optional suggestions and can be used in conjunction with the theme, or as options/alternatives.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks. There is also a list of 15 alternative prompts that can be subbed in for any day, again to give participants as much creative freedom as possible.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag it with:

#whumptober2024 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(theme number)

#bruises, #stabbing, …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#altprompt …..(if you use an altprompt, tag the post with the number of the prompt you replace)

#fandom or #OC, …..(ironman, original content, oc, etc.)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Keep in mind not to add “tw” in front but only use the word/trigger itself)

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed. This is based on trust and we will not check this.

Frequently Asked Questions

Please read this before you send an ask!

TIMELINE

July: Trope voting form released. Late August: Prompt list is released for at least four weeks of preparation time. Tropes cannot be posted earlier than August 25th because of Moderator obligations in real life. (But, you know, go ahead and start writing/drawing, and add the themes in later, if you want!) September: Do as much or as little on your works as you want. You can prepare everything in advance or let September go by with vibes and start working in October. It’s up to you. October 1st: Challenge begins! A storm of whump breaks upon us all! During this time, some posts will be reblogged to the whumptober archive blog. We open the yearly AO3 collection for posting (optional). November 1st: The challenge is officially over! Completionist form opens for those who want to be included in the hall-of-fame. Early November: We release completionist and participant badges, solicit feedback, and post a hall-of-fame list of completionists by the 10th.

PARTICIPATION AND COMPLETION

Q: What counts as participation? Create or continue at least one work inspired by one of this year’s prompts. Q: What counts as completion? Creating work(s) inspired by at least one prompt from each day (or alts), for a total of 31 unique prompts. Q: Do I need to create 31 works? No. You can, if you want. Or you can create one work that you add to every day with a new prompt. Or several works that combine prompts. You can also update an existing work by adding new material with the current prompts. Q: Do I need to post my works somewhere to be a completionist or a participant? No. Q: How do you know I actually completed the challenge? We’ll take your word for it! Q: Do I have to finish my work(s) to be a completionist? No, you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish them in October, but if you want it to count towards being a completionist, you must have completed 31 prompts by the end of the month. So for example, if you’re writing a long fic and you fit 31 different prompts into the writing you did in October, it’s okay if that fic isn’t finished by the time October ends, you’ll still be a completionist. Q: Is co-writing/illustrating allowed? Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you. Q: Is there a min/max limit on word count for written works? No. Q: Is there a min/max limit of quality for art? No. Q: Do I have to do something each day to be a completionist? No. You can skip days whenever you want, and as long as 31 daily prompts (or alts) are in your works done in October, you can be a completionist. For example, if you wrote a 1000-word ficlet that covers prompts in days 2, 3, and 17, you can check all three days off your list even though it’s only one work. Q: Is this challenge just for fics? No! Artworks, GIFsets, headcannons, rec lists, poetry, moodboards, or any other creative work is encouraged. Q: Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges? Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

PROMPTS

Q: How do the prompts work? There are FOUR prompts per day: a theme and three ideas. You can use one, two, three, or all four prompts for each day. If you don’t like any of the daily prompts, you can substitute one of the ALT prompts instead. Q: How strictly/literally should we interpret the prompts? As literally or as figuratively as you want. For example, if the theme is WATER, that could mean drowning, waterboarding, raining, swimming, take place underwater, be lost at sea, construct a metaphor about a character’s mood that changes like a flowing river, crying, or whatever else you can think of that fits that theme. Q: Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many? No limit and combine as many as you’d like. If you create a work that checks off multiple prompts, that work will count for a fill of multiple prompts. You need to address 31 different prompts to be an official completionist, but you don’t have to produce 31 separate works.

WORKS

Q: What’s whump? Hurting a character, whether that’s physically, emotionally, intellectually, psychologically, or any other way you can think of. Comfort afterwards is optional. Angst is emotional whump, so it counts. Q: How do I know if it’s whumpy enough? If your character is just mildly inconvenienced, it probably needs more whump. However, no participant has to prove whumpiness to the mods. Whatever you write is up to you. Q: What kind of characters can I create for? Anything. Generic “whumpee,” OC, PC, NPC, major characters, minor characters, or whatever you want. There are no limits. Q: Does it have to take place in a specific fandom? No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want. Q: Can I create AI-created works? We will not reblog or promote any works we know to be generative AI-created. Q: Is there anything we’re not allowed to write? As long as it contains whump and is based on our prompts, it’s fine. Please courtesy tag your works if you post them so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences. Q: What about sex, minor characters, and potentially disturbing content? You can create whatever works are legal in your country and post them accordingly. Please courtesy tag anything you think might be objectionable if you post to Tumblr so people who follow the #whumptober2024 tag can filter according to their preferences.

POSTING

Q: Where can I post my work? Post where and how you want. You don’t even have to (cross)post it to Tumblr. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive. There is an AO3 archive for Whumptober 2024, as well as the parent collection for works completed outside of the event. Q: Can I start posting early? You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? We won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st. Q: Can I post late? Yes. For the sake of our hardworking Post Fairies, only a day’s themes will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive each day of October. But you can post whenever. Some of us are still working on and posting Whumptober fics from years ago. Q: Do I have to use your tags? Only on Tumblr and only if you want us to reblog your work on @whumptober-archive. Q: How do I have my works reblogged to the archive? Properly tagged posts will be reblogged to @whumptober-archive. If you want the official archive blog to reblog you, post on Tumblr and tag correctly (see this FAQ link for more info on tagging). Please note not all posts will be reblogged each day. Q: Can we @ you? For questions and comments, of course. We’ll be getting a flood of notifications, so if you really want us to see something send an ask. Q: Can I cross post on other blogs? Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable, as long as they allow cross-posting (to us). You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once. If you post some works under your main and others under an alt blog, that’s fine for completionist purposes. Q: Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms? Of course! We’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there, which can be found here. The blog is the official archive, so please respect the personal boundaries of any whumpers in your social circle (don’t out anyone as a participant who would prefer not to be outed).

Most importantly, have fun, create, and enjoy all the whump posted this October!

[clemswinecorner]

Take a break [Harry Lewis/W2S]

Summary: When something's off with Harry, there's probably only one person that can make him feel better: his girlfriend.

Wordcount: 2.1k

Warnings: a bit of anxiety ish and mentioning of a potential burnout. Nothing extremely angsty :)

I'm back! Except not with a driver fic, sorry for these followers. I want to upload more UK YouTube fics so if you like this make sure to follow :))

Main Masterlist

It was Tobi that shot Y/N a text that afternoon. She was sitting in a random café working, rounding off her things before going home, and Harry was somewhere around London recording. Hey Y/N, I think smth is up with Harry. Dunno if anything has been bothering him recently, js wanted to let u know. He acts fine on camera but if ure near, could you hop by? we just finished up the vid, he’ll be in the studio recording the podcast w me josh and Ethan. It didn’t take much convincing, and since she was nearly done, she was in the studio an hour later. One of the production members opened the door, “Hey, I didn’t know you would come by,” the girl smiles at her. “No, wasn’t in the plans, but just picking up Harry,” Y/N explains, walking into the building. When she walks into the studio, Harry is simply listening to a story Ethan is telling, staring into the distance with his mind visibly somewhere else. Tobi spots her before Harry does, greeting her with a subtle nod. She smiles at him as she sits down behind the lights and cameras, out of view. “I know this is a podcast, but I need to pee really bad, can we do a short break please?” Tobi suggests once Ethan is done with his story. He looks at the production members, as Ethan nods in agreement, “yeah, regroup in 10 minutes then. I’ll keep everything rolling, just so you know,” Tobi nods and stands up, walking out the Studio. He gives Y/N a quick smile when passing her, and she stays seated as the boys all relax. “I’m hungry, haven’t eaten much today,” Ethan stands up as Harry pulls out his phone. He nudges the Guernsey boy, “D’you want anything?” To which Harry shakes his head. Ethan frowns but moves away from the desk nonetheless, as Y/N stands up. “Oh, hey, didn’t know you were here!” Ethan says as he passes her. She smiles, hugging him back quickly. “Yeah, I was around, so I figured I’d come by,” she explains. At the sound of the new voice, Harry’s head slowly perks up. A tired smile forms on his face as they make eye contact, with her nodding her head to signal him over. He stands up and walks over to the pair, making Josh look over, giving the girl a quick wave, which she returns. “Hi,” she softly smiles as she lets him embrace her. “Hey, are you okay?” She nods. “Yeah, did you eat anything yet? I heard Ethan just now,” He softly shakes his head as they pull apart, “No, haven’t been too hungry,” he admits, and she sighs with a knowing look. “Don’t forget yourself, Harry. When you’re done, we’re getting some food, yeah. I’ll order it during the recording, and we’ll go pick it up, go home, and have a night us to, yeah. Maybe all of tomorrow, too?” She suggests, and he nods. “Thank you,” He quietly replies, wrapping his arm around her to press a kiss on her hair. 

As they get back to recording the last part of the podcast, Y/N sits back in her original spot. She now finds Harry looking over more often, and she sends him a smile every time. He seemed a bit more relaxed, a bit more involved in the conversations. He was laughing, that stupid half-assed laugh, that made him look too damn cute. She hated it, though— she hated how she could tell he just laughed because of the cameras. Even if he liked the joke, the smile didn’t reach his eyes the way it usually would. Soon enough the recording’s done, and Harry is given the green light to go, the rest of the crew all seeing the tiredness in his body language. As they stand at the car, Tobi has walked out after them to give them a quick goodbye. “See you later bro, take care, yeah?” He simply tells Harry as they clap hands, before the younger steps into the passenger seat. He gives Y/N a proper hug, “Thanks for coming, let me know how he’s doing, please?” She nods as they let go. “Yeah, thanks for texting. He looks pretty overwhelmed, and he didn’t eat much breakfast either, so…” Tobi sighs, as he looks towards the car. “We didn’t really have time to eat, I should’ve pushed to get lunch more,” Y/N shrugs. “Not much to do now. Again, thanks for looking out for him. I’ll see you soon, yeah?” He nods. “Yeah, thank you too. See you Friday,” he mentions, reminding her of the Sidemen’s anniversary party. “See you then, bye Tobi!” She says, stepping into the car. Harry looks up at her with a questioning look on his face, “What were you chatting about?” He asks, dropping his phone in his lap. She looks at him for a second, “Tobi texted me when you were done with the video if I could hop by. He said you acted fine on camera, but something was off, and I was nearly done with work anyway so I wanted to pick you up. He just asked me to let him know if you were okay,” She answers honestly, to which he nods slowly. “Hmm.” A short silence falls between them as she gets settled, looking over at him before turning the key. “Are you, okay?” She asks. He doesn’t reply immediately, fiddling with his phone. “I- I don’t really, uhh, I dunno. I’ve just… It’s weird, I, uh…” He doesn’t seem to find the words, so she puts her hand on his thigh. “That’s okay. You don’t have to talk, we can get home, have some food, maybe a cuddle, and then talk. Or cry, or scream, or say nothing. Whichever, yeah?” He nods as she squeezes his thigh before moving her hand back to the steering wheel. His hands automatically find her body as they pull out the car park, making her smile subconsciously. “Oh, and there’s something else Tobi mentioned, which I almost forgot. We are going to the Sidemen party, which you probably conveniently forgot is this Friday,” she changes the subject, making him groan in fake annoyance.

Y/N collects the food they ordered, and after a short ride with some soft background music, they’re carrying the bags of food inside. “If you want to change, you can do that now, we can watch a movie or some Brooklyn 99. Do you want a drink?” She asks, as he walks towards the bedroom. He nods, “Just a tea please,” he asks, before changing into his pyjamas. She makes them their drinks, making herself an iced tea, and puts them on the coffee table. Walking back to the kitchen to get the bags of food, she sees Harry taking out the plates and cutlery, and smiles at him. “Do you want to watch anything?” He looks at her and shrugs, “Just something quick. Did you watch the race?” He asks, and she nods. “I had it on, yeah, but was working during it. We can watch the race in 30?” She suggests as they sit down on the couch. He nods, leaning over the table to make himself a plate of food. “Yeah, sounds good,” he says, as she finds the compilation of the latest Formula One race. Harry sits closely next to her, thighs touching each other and occasionally leaning backwards, putting his head on her shoulder. 

He was tired, she could tell, and by the time they’d finished the food he was lying on her lap. She softly combs through his hair as the F1 outro played, and she sighs. “Are you alright?” She asks, and he’s quiet for a minute. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. She motions for him to keep talking, and he sighs. “I’ve just, I’ve been feeling anxious all day and I don’t know why. Didn’t sleep as well either, but that’s not really anything new recently,” he mentions, and she nods. He had been having trouble sleeping recently, falling asleep late and waking up in the middle of the day, unless he had recordings in the morning. “Any reason why? Like, something big happening or a change in something?” He shrugs. “No, not that I can think of. I mean, we have the anniversary coming up and don’t really have anything planned and maybe people will expect something, but that’s not really my doing anyway. I also need to have a video worked out and a more sidemen thing ready by Saturday, but I’ll get that done,” he mentions, rolling his head so he’s looking at her. She looks down at him, looking into his eyes. “I think you should take a break, first, just tonight and tomorrow. No Sidemen business, no YouTube friends, just us. Wasn’t Rosie in Manchester? We could visit her,” she suggests, and he nods. “Yeah, that sounds good,” he softly says. They sit in silence for a bit, thinking about the conversation that just occurred. “If you still feel anxious or weird after that, that’s okay too. We can look into it, if you’ll let me help you, and see what makes you feel better, yeah?” She breaks the silence. He bites his lips as he hesitantly nods. “Hmm. I’m just worried it’s a lasting thing. I’ve got nothing to be stressed about really, people like Simon and JJ are doing way more than I am yet here I am,” he expresses his concerns. “Well, you’ve been doing this for over a decade, baby, and even when you quit uploading you started doing more things for the channel. That and recording not only for the Sidemen but also all of your friends’ channels, plus all the behind the scenes stuff you’re involved in, it’s not hard to be burnt out or overwhelmed,” He nods, fiddling with their hands. “It just feels so unfair to take a break, when I have lots of time off already. I have the one of the easier jobs on the Sidemen channel, you know,” She looks up for a second, thinking about his statement. “Hmm. For you, yeah, but I think Lucy wouldn’t want to switch with you. Just because it’s fun and comes naturally to you doesn’t mean it’s easy, and you don’t work hard,” She explains, to which he nods. “Hmm, I guess that’s true,” he agrees. She shuffles around a bit, and Harry raises his head so she can sit more comfortably. “And like, you have time off, but when do you actually? You’re always recording, or golfing, or on a date with me, which is nice, and you’re busy which is good, and it’s fun, but you know… You need to take care of yourself, have some time for you, as well.” He sighs as he sits up. “Whenever I’m with you is enough. But I do need more time without anything else, maybe,” he admits, grabbing his cup of tea from the table. She smiles at him, “I know you love them, but I know you as well, you’re an introvert. We spend all your other time together, too, which I obviously have zero problems with, but you need your alone time, too,” He looks at her over the rim of his glass. “Don’t be silly, I never need time away from you. Like, I consider nights like this alone time. I can recharge with you,” he sheepishly smiles at her, and she blushes. “I… Wait, that is actually so cute,” She leans against his chest, and he chuckles, wrapping his arms around her. “It’s true,” he simply says, and she giggles. She looks up at him to see him already looking down at her with the same smile still on his face. Despite dating for over two years, it still felt like the honeymoon stage, and the look in their eyes’ says enough. Harry smiles before he presses his lips against hers, and she smiles into the kiss.

Their cups of tea were long forgotten as they get even closer to each other, the kiss filled with love instead of the lust they sometimes were. They both smile into the kiss, just taking in each other's presence, until the sound of the Formula One intro promptly makes them pull away. “Jesus Christ,” Harry just says as Y/N leans into his chest, giggling at the scare. Harry looks for the remote, turning off the video that autoplayed. He looks at her with a loving smile, as she looks up again. “Right, where were we?”

[bokettochild]

Ketto's Whumptober 2024 Prompt Master List

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK - Kit & Violet (r by localicecreambiter)

Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES - Warriors (anon)

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE - Legend & Sky (requested by notadragon)

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS - Legend &/or Warriors (anon)

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED - Legend (requested by tiredkiwilol)

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES - Time (FD) & Wind (requested by chuchujellybean)

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION - Hyrule (requested by starwolfie)

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD - Legend (also tiredkiwilol)

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE - Four (requested by mermain123)

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 12: STARVATION - Wild

Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY - Wild & Four

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD

Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA - Wind (requested by mermain123)

Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS - Wild (requested by zips-quips)

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO - Wind (theoneeyedgoldenwolf)

Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

No. 18: REVENGE - Sky (requested by icy-hot-0111)

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL - Twilight (r by toyouhellohowareyou)

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST - Warriors (requested by aeghina)

Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

No. 21: BODY HORROR - Wind & Four (requested by tritailed-shenanigans)

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES - Hyrule (requested by mermain123)

Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE - Time (requested by boingobeepis)

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING - Wild (requested by abbycrashing)

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY - Twilight & Warriors (mermain123 again :3)

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES - Legend (requested by mermain123)

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS - Twilight has a Violet Incident (requested by zips-quips)

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 28: DENIAL

CCTV | Exposure | "They caught me red handed."

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY - Wind & Legend & Warriors (because I want to!)

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

-

Feel free to send in requests for this year! Any relationships (barring romantic) are optional, and you can give as much or as little detail for what you'd like to see as you like! And if the prompt you wanted is already claimed, no worries! I AM capable of whumping multiple boys at once >:)

(NOTE: I can see your requests best in the post replies, asks WILL most likely get lost in the slew of my askbox!!!!!)

Alternatives List:

Body Swap - Four and Wind (tritailed-shenanigans)

Communication Barrier

Finding Old Messages - Wild (requested by zips-quips)

Forgotten

Friendly Fire

Motion Sickness

No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

Regret

Secrets Revealed

Shivering

Survivor's Guilt

Time Loop

Used As Bait

Venom

Vermin

[midiosaamor]

❪ ✦ ❫ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: grayson hawthorne x anxiety fem!reader

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you hate it when your parents scold you. you hate it. good thing grayson’s there to comfort you.

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: anxiety attack, parent issues, yelling, crying, comfort, comfort over phone, fluff, hyperventilating, scolding, cuddling, kisses, burnout, wholesome praise, nicknames, use of y/n

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒: 797

𝐀/𝐍: this was requested by an anon here! THIS MADE ME SO SAS BUT I ALSO LOVE GRAYSON AHHHFFKTLDLKDLD STOP also this was based of my panic attacks that i have and a bit of google too. yes, i do have panic attacks, though luckily ive only had one and the rest were just me being close to having one. ANYWAYS ENJOYYT‼️‼️

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐘𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄.

𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐃: ✓

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @reminiscentreader @never-enough-novels @ilyiwdtpyiwmyhmtkys @evaswarner @sc11vb @sophiesonlinediary @starrynightsxo @f4iry-bell @his-littlefox @viivdle @aaron-warner @reyreadersblog @urbanflorals @nqds @imaseabear (ask if you want to be added or removed from taglist!)

you knew what was coming. you were failing most of your classes, but it wasn’t your fault. you just—couldn’t do it anymore. it’s like you were burnedout.

you were a student with straight, passing A’s, to a student not even trying anymore. it wasn’t your fault, though. no one believes you.

“honestly, y/n. what happened to you?!” your mother sighs, running a hand down her face. disappointment fills her expression as she looks at you.

“you have to get your grades up, young lady,” your father grits out. “i—i’m trying to,” you try to say, “it’s jus—”

“no excuses. you’re just lazy,” your mother scolds. “you need to get your grades up. do your missing work and redo your tests or you’re grounded; from your friends and your phone.”

you look at her in shock. you could handle your phone, kind of, but your friends? “mom—what—no that’s not fair—”

“it is fair,” your father butts in. “there needs to be punishment since you keep on thinking that your friends or your phone is better than doing work. not to mention you keep on using your burnout as an excuse.”

you're on the verge of tears now. you can’t help it. why are they doing this? why don’t they just understand that you can’t do this anymore?

“stop being lazy, y/n.”

right after the scolding stopped you immediately ran to your room, slamming your door shut. you slide down the door, breathing heavily as tears finally fall down your face in races.

but this is different; your breathing is too fast. your throat is too tight—your chest feels like someone is sitting on it and squshing you.

you feel like you can’t breathe even though you are.

breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe, breathe—it isn’t working.

you call the only person who could help you with trembling hands. quickly, you take your phone out of your pocket, getting your passcode wrong because of your shaking.

“c-come on—work—” you say breathlessly. you know how this goes. you start to sweat, your palms getting wetter as you go to your contacts and click grayson.

you close your eyes as your breathing gets faster, starting to get dizzy. this is normal for you. it should be normal so why do you feel like you are dying?

the tears that keep on dropping from your eyes aren’t helping you stay calm. you hold a hand to your chest—your breath coming out in sobs.

the phone picks up.

“love?—are you okay?” he asks. he knows that you aren’t the type of person to call instead of texting. you only call in case of emergencies. this time is definitely an emergency.

“i—gray—” you stammer, unable to form a sentence. immediately, he gets it. “hey, hey. where are you, love?”

“room.”

“okay. i want you to take deep breaths for me, okay?”

you start to get hot even though goosebumps travel throughout your skin. it’s an uncomfortable feeling like your skin can’t choose whether to make you warm or cold throughout your panic attack.

you try. you really do, but you can’t.

you shake your head and make an ‘m-m’ sound. “can’t.”

“please, love. for me, okay? just this once, i promise. you could do this,” he says. you hesitantly nod, leaning your head against the door as you try to control your breathing.

“in and out. in and out. in and out,” he directs you, helping you a bit. “i’m on my way, okay? you’re doing so good for me, just wait a little while longer, okay, angel?”

“mhm.”

“good job. just try to continue breathing, okay?”

in; out.

in; out.

in; out.

in; out.

in; out.

in; out.

in; out.

“i’m parked,” he announces. you're glad that you gave him a spare key beforehand. you faintly hear a key rattling underneath your harsh breathing, giving you hope that he’s coming.

soon. he hangs up the call and you try to move to the side so he can open the door. he immediately opens the door and spots you on the floor.

bringing you into his arms, he closes the door behind the two of you. “follow my breathing, baby,” he whispers. you feel the rise and fall of his chest and you try to copy it.

his warm embrace helps you calm down, your sobs stopping into shaky breaths. “you’re doing amazing, y/n.”

after a short while, you calm down, digging your head into his chest. he slowly walks back to your bed, sitting down with you on his lap.

his hand runs down your back comfortably, his other hand around your hips. “you did beautifully, love. you’re so amazing.”

“thank you, gray.”

“you don’t need to thank me, darling. i’ll always be here for you.”

[x0llaz]

Ghosting

Sungchan x Reader

ANGSTTTTTT SOWWY, fluff at the end, hurt comfort, self doubt, burnout, mentions of twilight

WC: 3k

pt 3 of my lil sungchan series. pt 1, pt 2

YN assumed that all was well in her relationship- situationship? Flirtationship?- the two had gone on their second official date, and hung out plenty of times beside then. She thought she and sungchan were doing great, until he stopped answering his texts. 

They had just seen each other before then- he took her out to dinner and bought them milkshakes. He had spent the night in her apartment, as he had grown used to doing, and they fell asleep playing video games on her couch. He had left the morning after after giving her a kiss on the cheek and saying ‘Talk to ya’ later, cutie’

The first day, YN assumed it must be he’s away from his phone- he doesn’t have to respond right away, and she didn’t need him to. 

But when another day passed, and then another, YN became skeptical. She began to criticize herself for texting him the usual good morning/good night texts when she got no response. Whe texted him asking if he was alright, but got no response. She asked him if he was going to a party Yunjin had invited her to, but her message was never read. She kept trying, but kept getting nothing. She felt pathetic. 

Eventually the days turned into a week, and still no word from sungchan. It confused her- they had been so close for weeks before, why drop her now? A week turned into two weeks, and YN felt herself lose her will to keep trying. Too many texts left on delivered, too little communication to justify her continuing to text a ghost. 

Had she done something wrong? She wracked her brain for anything she could’ve done to offend him, or make him upset, but couldn’t think of anything. She wondered if maybe he was talking to someone else or… maybe he just wasn’t interested anymore. 

She thought about their times together, their first date that was so perfect she almost thought she dreamed it. Kissing him when he showed up at her door, or when they’d snuggle up on her couch and watch movies they never really paid attention to. It all left her wondering what happened. Why was sungchan suddenly MIA?

She just felt… useless. 

YN decided to go out as a pick-me-up. Yunjin walked at her side, knowing of her struggle with sungchan, and more than willing to help her get her mind off things. Regardless of what was going on in YN’s mind, Yunjin was always a great pick-me-up.

“I mean we could go to a party tonight?” She suggested. 

“You know I hate parties,” YN rolled her eyes. 

“We wouldn’t stay long, plus, it’s a mostly girls party. It’s kind of exclusive,” Yunjin wriggled her eyebrows. 

“I’ll let you know if I want to go,” YN replied, her arms locked with Yunjin. 

“Well we gotta do something to get your mind off of sungchan,” 

“Pffft, it’s not like it’s that big of a deal. I’m fine, I promise,”

“It certainly hasn’t seemed like it.” Yunjin watched YN tilt her head to the side. “You seriously haven’t realized you’ve been mentioning him non stop for days?”

YN paused for a moment. “I didn’t think it was that bad,” she mumbled. 

“Oh, it’s bad bad. You can’t stop talking about it.”

YN looked down, embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” she muttered. She didn’t want to talk about it anymore, now feeling too exposed for how she had been really feeling.

Yunjin paused her steps, looking over to her friend. “Oh, no, don't apologize! It’s okay, I understand why,”

“I just feel bad, I really didn’t realize how much it was on my mind,” YN explained, staring at the pavement below her. 

“It’s okay, really,” Yunjin assured her. “It just makes me sad seeing you so sad over a man,” She shrugged, squeezing YN’s arm reassuringly.

“I really liked him though… and I thought…” She trailed off, sighing and shaking her head. 

“And that’s normal. It’s okay to be sad about stuff like this.” Yunjin told her. “Now perk up, cutie, We’ve got a weekend to waste, and a man to forget about.” 

The Two walked around the market, looking at handmade goods, and fresh pick fruits and veggies. For a while, YN began to let her mind wander from Sungchan. She enjoyed her time with Yunjin, joking around and talking about drama that had been going on in recent weeks. It was easy to forget about things when she was with Yunjin, it was easy to forget all her sorrows. 

They heard something from the distance, and perked up once more when they realized there was someone calling their names. 

“Is that them? Yunjin? Yunjin!” someone shouted from the distance, weaving through the crowd. “It is them!” He called, tugging someone behind them. “YN, Yunjin!” They recognized shotaro at a distance, smiling and waving at them. YN froze when she saw who was right beside him. 

Jung Sungchan. The man who had been ghosting her for two weeks. 

YN turned to Yunjin, her anxiety clear on her face. “You’ll be okay,” Yunjin whispered, keeping their arms interlocked. 

YN watched as the two of them approached, and almost immediately locked eyes with Sungchan. She stood there staring at him before tearing her gaze away and looking at the ground. WHen she looked up, Sungchan stood at a closer distance, a smile on his handsome face as he looked at her, holding his hand up in a friendly wave. If he hadn’t been ghosting her for weeks, her heart would’ve melted, she probably would have swooned. But alas, she was in no mood to swoon. 

“Hey guys!” Shotaro greeted cheerfully. “It’s good to see you, we’ve been meaning to hang out,” He nudged sungchan, whose face dropped a bit when YN avoided his gaze. 

“Yeah, it’s good seeing you guys,” His gaze was still fixed on YN, who had her phone pulled out, fingers typing away at something. 

It wasn’t long until Yunjin and Shotaro fell into a comfortable conversation, and Sungchan took a step closer to YN. 

“Hey,” He smiled, his voice soft. 

“Hi.” YN replied shortly. Sungchan took note, shifting his weight a bit. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, slightly concerned. 

“Yeah why?” She lied, folding her arms. 

“You just seem… more closed off.” He thought of their last time together, how close they had been, the stark contrast of this moment compared to then. 

“Well sorry, I’m not sure how to talk to someone who’s been ignoring me for two weeks,” YN glanced at him, voice stern. 

Sungchan furrowed his brows. “What do you mean?” He asked in confusion. 

YN rolled her eyes, not wanting to continue down this path. “Yunjin, I’m gonna head home. I’ll text you about the party,” she said before turning on her heel and walking out of sungchan’s sight. 

“So… why is YN mad at you?” Shotaro asked, taking a bite of his food. 

Sungchan shrugged. “I really don’t know? It kinda confused me.” The look shotaro gave him told him to continue. “She said I’d been ignoring her,”

“Have you been ignoring her?” Shotaro asked, knowing the answer, but wanting Sungchan to hear the truth from himself. 

The hesitancy Sungchan felt made his heart drop a bit, realizing that he had been ignoring her. “I… i didn’t think I was ignoring her,” He pulled out his phone to see the old messages he hadn’t taken the time to look at. “I didn’t really mean to,” 

“Yeah, well, you did,” Shotaro sighed. “When did you last see her?”

“I forget, but it wasn’t that long ago,” sungchan answered. 

“Okay… and when was the last time you texted her? When was the last time she texted?”

“She texted me a couple days ago…” Sungchan put his phone down, taking a few bites of his food, as if he could avoid talking if he had his mouth full. 

“Sunghcan,” Shotaro looked at him with a disbelieving expression.

“This food is really good,” Sungchan didn’t meet his gaze, stuffing his face with more food.

“Seriously, when was the last time you hung out?” Shotaro asked once more. 

“I don’t know, it couldn’t have been too far back,” sungchan shrugged. “I think… two weeks?”

“Two weeks????”

Truth be told, Sungchan had no intentions of ghosting YN. Hell, he barely realized he had been. 

When Sungchan got focused on something, it was almost like everything in the world stopped existing. That something happened to shift from YN, to his upcoming exam. It was the majority of his quarter grade, and in his efforts to study, he had unintentionally ignored nearly everything around him. Shotaro had begged him to go out for an hour or two that day, which was a struggle in itself. 

Needless to say, he had been burnt out, not even realizing it. He barely had been out besides classes, and his social life had taken a pretty big hit. He had been tired, focused so much on passing the quarters exam, that he neglected one of the biggest parts of his life. 

He hadn’t realized until he saw YN, how little time he had spent with her. In his time away, he never had the chance to think about just how much he missed her. Sungchan hadn’t thought much about the girl he liked so much- not because he lost interest, but because he was buckling under the pressure of school. 

Sungchan rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing in his own frustration. “I know, I know,” he looked up at shotaro. “So?”

“So what?” Shotaro asked.

“So what should I do? I messed up,” Sungchan shrugged, looking at shotaro hopefully. 

“Are you stupid?” Shoptaro asked. Before the younger could question his words, he said, “Apologize to her! You can’t get anywhere if you don’t talk to her,” Shotaro told him. “Make it quick before Yunjin gets involved.”

Sungchan Nodded. “Noted.”

When the two of them parted ways, sungchan walked with his hands in his pockets. He walked to his apartment, making a mental list of ways he could apologize, how he could make things up to her. He was never great at things like that, but he knew that he would change it for her.

When YN got home, her mood was brought down even more seeing there was still nothing from sungchan. It Was partially her fault, leaving before he could get a word in, but logic did nothing to brighten her mood. The worst part of the citation was how much it made her get into her own head. 

She began doubting her bond with sungchan, doubting herself. Was she that forgettable that he could go weeks without talking to her and not even realize? 

She sat down on her couch and pulled a pillow over her head, groaning into it as she laid back. In her own house, with nothing to distract her from her own doubts and fear, she felt the tears well in her eyes. It wasn’t her first experience with heart break, or with a failed relationship, but nonetheless, it hurt. She had let herself get used to sungchan, gotten her hopes up with him. Was she stupid to think they’d be more than a situationship? Tears streamed down her face before she could bring her hand up to wipe her face.

She thought back to their first date, and questioned how she ended up here. Crying on her couch because of a guy who wasn’t even her boyfriend. Crying over the guy who took her out for lunch and who she convinced to stay a little longer. Did it mean anything? Was this just how Sungchan was?

She wiped her tears and turned on her side, resting her cheek against her pillow as her phone lit up with texts from Yunjin. 

Jen: you okay???

Jen: you left rlly fast

Jen: Did he do smth???? I can kill him

Jen: should I come over?

She sighed, not wanting to involve Yunjin even more in her boy problems. 

YN: no i’m ok

YN: thanks tho 🙂

YN dropped her phone on the coffee table, closing her eyes and curling into herself. It wasn’t that late, but the tears streaming down her cheeks, and the flashes of her time with sungchan that came up every so often made her tired, made her want to escape. 

Within a few minutes, she drifted off to sleep, not wanting to think about sungchan anymore, hoping her tears would dry themselves. 

Hours passed, and YN woke up from her spot on her couch. Her back ached from the uncomfortable position, cheeks a bit puffy from crying. She went to shower, dousing herself in water to soothe her skin, and ease the pain that came from her uncomfortable sleeping position. She changed into pajamas, and dried her hair before putting it up. YN knew that since she had woken up when it was late, she wouldn’t be able to sleep well. Given that, she decided to treat herself. She wouldn’t go to another party with Yunjin, she wouldn’t spend her night crying over sungchan, she’d just let herself relax. 

She reached for her phone so she could order herself some food, but a notification made her stop for a moment. 

Channie <3: hi

Channie <3: can we talk pls?

Channie <3: i miss u

YN scoffed at the messages. Two weeks and her turning him down was what it took for him to take interest again?

She didn’t respond and placed an order for delivery. She had Wine in her cabinet that she saved for special occasions (or nights when she needed a little pick me up) and a pint of her favorite ice cream. She brought out her favorite blanket and sat down on the couch, trying to pick what she should watch, settling on twilight because what could take her mind off of things with sungchan better, than a YA romance movie.

She got up and grabbed the wine from her cabinet, pouring a bit into her glass and talking a few sips before reaching around for the ice cream in her freezer. In the midst of her search, she heard a knock on her door. Not realizing it was too quick to be her food order, she went over, and opened the door. 

“Sungchan?”

He stood in the doorway, eyes wide, as if he had ran up the stairs like he had the night of their first date. 

YN just sighed. “What are you-”

She was cut off when she felt his arms wrap around her, his head buried in her neck as if he wanted to crawl inside her. She heard him let out a shaky breath and her eyes widened, confused as to what was going on, and why he suddenly showed up. 

“I’m sorry,” he said into her skin, arms tightening around her. “I didn’t mean to ignore you, I promise,” His voice was soft, almost fragile sounding.

YN was stunned for a hot minute, standing there and letting him hug her before hesitantly bringing her arms to wrap around him, relaxing into his grasp. They stayed like that for a moment before each pulling away. YN led sungchan further inside, leading him to sit on her couch. She sat next to him, an awkward distance away. 

“What’s going on?” she asked hesitantly. 

“I wanted to apologize, and like… explain why i ignored you,” 

YN looked at him expectantly. 

“So, I have a big exam coming up, and it makes up half of my quarter’s grade. And if I failed, my semester exam would also be sunk, so-” He paused. “Not important. When I get into something really intensely, I have a bad habit, that I’m gonna work on, of kinda forgetting everything else. Even Shotaro struggled to get in contact with me. He had to drag me out earlier today.” 

He looked at YN and sighed, seeing her hesitant expression. 

“I really am sorry that I hurt you. It wasn’t my intention, but I know I did, and I promise, I’ll make it up to you,” He reached for her hand lightly. 

YN looked down at their hands. “I thought you lost interest in me,” She said quietly. 

“What?” Sungchan asked, confused if he heard her correctly. 

“I thought You lost interest. I thought you lost interest and started ignoring me.” She said a bit firmer. 

Sungchan’s heart dropped hearing those words. “YN,” he brought his other hand to her cheek, tilting her gaze towards him. “What I did was a mistake. A mistake I promise, I won’t make again,” his thumb brushed her cheek. “And I promise, I swear on everything, I’m still pretty crazy for you,” He gave her a light smile. 

His words made YN smile, intertwining her fingers with his as he leaned in to give her a soft kiss. They wrapped their arms around each other once more, not letting go of each other even as they just sat on the couch, covered by the blanket. 

YN got up when she heard a knock on her door, much to sungchan’s dismay. She brought back the food she ordered, plus the ice cream and wine. When sungchan reached for some, she swatted his hand away.

“Thats not for you,” she shook her head with a playful smile. 

“I thought you weren’t mad?” Sungchan sat up a bit, concerned.

“I’m not, but i ordered these for me,” She poked his stomach. 

When Sungchan stuck out his bottom lip in a pout, pleading for some food like he had been starving all day, YN rolled her eyes. 

“Fine,” she said, and gave him some food, and poured him a glass of wine. 

They found their places back on the couch, snuggled up against each other, sungchan’s arm draped around her waist as she rested on his chest. In the middle of the movie, while the Cullens played baseball, sungchan spoke up. 

He asked her, “Do you want to go on a date tomorrow?”

whoopee!!! I finished pt 3, stay tuned for the next parts, I pinky promise they'll come out sooner.

taglist: @oftenjisung , @vhuteryh, @skzhoe4life, @cheederzchez , @so-lychee , @leehanascent

[concerningwolves]

god I'm reading Devon Price's latest substack essay on burnout, and it's.. it's confirming and crystallising something that I've suspected for a long time, actually.

See, all throughout school, I would have days – roughly every month or so, sometimes two months – where I became Unwell. The symptoms never really fit anything, but I'd be exhausted, irritable, headachey, sometimes feeling kind of feverish. Most importantly, i'd just Know that I couldn't cope with school that day. I can remember these starting in middle school and getting more frequent and pressing into high school. When I did take the day off, I'd watch TV or films and sleep a lot, and then by the evening – if it wasn't a weekend night – I'd be in this weird place of feeling rested but also crushingly anxious with the knowledge that i'd just be back at school tomorrow. Holidays weren't truly restful either, except for maybe the middle two weeks of the six-week summer break. The two week Christmas and Easter breaks? I'd start to feel a bit better towards the end of the first week, then the dread would build up again throughout the second week. By my GCSEs, I couldn't keep up my academic drive, so I picked the subjects I most wanted to do well in (English, German, Biology, and History + maths because I needed to pass it so I could be done with it), focused my revision on those, and coasted by with perfunctory revision on the other seven subjects. It's honestly shocking to me that I got a full 12 GCSEs. People tell me that my results were good, and I know that logically they're right, but it took me a long time to be proud of them because I always knew that I hadn't really tried. It took me even longer to accept that if I had given every subject my all, it probably would have broken me.

As it was, I made it into my first term of college before I hit breaking point. Three A Levels (English lang & lit, history, psychology), dreams of a career in psychology or psychiatry, writing in all my spare time. I'd been very mentally unwell all through high school, but I'd always imagined that college would be my escape. First I was going to study philosophy, history, and English literature – but then that college had to drop the philosophy course. My next chosen college was an incredibly competitive college that held students to very high standards. I had the grades to get in, and I was dithering between a selection from English literature, history, classical studies, sociology, philosophy, or psychology. But I never made it in, because I missed the induction day. Students who missed the induction day automatically forfeited their placement. In hindsight, that was the first warning, but instead I felt wretched for a few days, then decided, fuck it, I was going to my final last choice college instead.

And in less than six months, I had an absolute breakdown. Anyone who was following me circa 2018 may remember the fallout. Skill regression. Low mood. Weeks spent just watching Supernatural or sleeping. Panic attacks. I never truly got my feet back under me. I dropped down to one a level and abandoned all thoughts of university, and scraped by college until I could just get out of there.

And reading this article, looking back at the trajectory of my life since 2018, it's... Eye-opening, to say the least. I don't know if I'm recovered or still recovering, or adjusting to my new baseline, nearly seven years later. Sometimes I wonder if an autism diagnosis earlier might have helped – might have given me the language and the tools to understand what was happening to me on all of those Unwell Days. So I grieve for that potential. I don't hate my life now, it's just.... I have to wonder, you know? What might have been. Could I have caught the burnout sooner? Headed it off? I don't know. I can't know. all I've got is where I'm at now, which is certainly something to be proud of, because I made it, even if I'm not anywhere near what's "normal" or "expected" of a 23 year old. and I have my whole life ahead of me yet. 23 years is nothing, in the grand scheme of things. Remembering that is always a balm.

But still I wonder. I grieve. It's hard not to.

[starrysky28]

RE2 Leon Kennedy SFW Alphabet (N-Z)

A/N: You guys seemed to like part 1 so...Part 2 (N-Z) of the sfw alphabet is here!

Link to part 1

Warnings: None this time!

Enjoy!

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with him are pretty low-key. Most of the time, he likes to stay in and watch movies (he prefers them to TV shows).

After Raccoon City, he tends to get nightmares, and as a result, he gets a bit antsy at night. Because of this, he starts spending more time with you so he feels less stressed and uncomfortable.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As much as he hates talking about things from his past, such as his parents murder, it's easier for him to open up about traumatic things the better he knows and trusts someone.

He'd reveal things little by little or very slowly, never all at once, and unfortunately, as time goes on, he becomes more closed off and private about these types of things.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He's not a hot-tempered guy by any means, so not very quick to anger. That doesn't mean he wouldn't get angry at all.

As for what makes him particularly angry, I feel like any sort of injustice or mistreatment of others would be enough to get him riled up.

I also think he'd often say things he wouldn't mean in the heat of the moment. He would always make sure to at least apologize if he said something he'd regret later.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He would have a pretty sharp memory. Can remember names, faces, an even dates without having to think about it too much. However, this doesn't mean that he doesn't forget every once in a while.

During the first year that you two knew each other, he forgot your birthday until you subtly reminded him that evening.

"OH! That was today???"

You tell him that it's okay and not to worry about it. The next day, he shows up at your door with a teddy bear, store-bought cupcakes and a birthday card ready to give to you.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment was the moment he first realized he was in love with you. You happened to be out with a group of friends and you were the only one who laughed at his terrible puns.

He didn't realize at first, but after going home that night, you were pretty much the only thing he could think about.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

VERY protective of those he cares about. He managed to make a career out of protecting people (or so he thought he could), so he’s naturally protective in nature.

As for him being protected. He always tells you that he’s fine and doesn’t need to be protected.

However, even in dire situations, like when he’s hurt/injured, you’ve still got his back regardless of how he feels about being protected in the moment. He still appreciates you greatly for this.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Makes sure to put his best effort into everything he does. From showering you with gifts and affection, to making sure he does his job the best he possibly can.

Unfortunately, all this effort he puts in over the years will eventually come with the cost of stress and burnout.

Luckily, you and everyone else who cares about him in his life is there to help him and encourage him not to overdo things.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

A bad habit of his is that he’s never been a very good driver. Sometimes you wonder how he even got his license.

One of the things that specifically makes him a bad driver is that he drives waayy too fast. Like you could look down at the speedometer and he’ll be going almost 90 in a 65 mph zone.

“OMG!! Slow down, Leon!”

He’ll just respond so nonchalantly like, “Hehe oopsie daisies”

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

I think he’d be a little insecure of the fact that he’s got a baby face and looks very pretty for a guy.

But other than that, he’s very keen on keeping himself looking neat and tidy at the same time.

I also think he wouldn’t really have one of those 10-step skincare routines either. Like people are always asking him what he washes his face with and he’s just like “soap and water” lol

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He wouldn’t really realize it at first, but as time goes on. I think he’d really come to appreciate each time you’re with him and that he actually feels more content when he’s by your side.

So whenever you have to leave him for a while, he can't help but feel a bit lonely, or like he's missing something.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

I headcanon that he's a music lover. Has a secret soft spot for 80s music, especially since he would have been a kid in the 1980s. It just reminds him of a simpler time.

When he got to be in his teen years, he definitely took a liking to 90s rock, specifically grunge. I also think he has a decent-sized collection of CDs, including some that he would keep in his car.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In terms of partners, he's not that picky. There are definitely things he'd find unattractive in a partner, but because he's still a tad inexperienced, there isn't much. I feel like he would be more about personality than anything else.

As for things he wouldn't like. He loves food and will basically eat anything, but he absolutely hates spinach (this is totally not me projecting lol)

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

As mentioned before, he gets frequent nightmares after the events of Raccoon City. He's also a very restless and light sleeper and often ends up in weird sleeping positions.

On a cuter note, I think as a kid, he slept with a stuffed animal. Specifically a stuffed dog. He still has it in a closet somewhere, as he didn't have the heart to truly get rid of it.

And...That's it! I hope you guys enjoyed. Feel free to request other characters for me to do hcs for if you feel so inclined to! (This also includes characters other than Resident Evil characters too!)

[vashsmunch]

The guy next door

Millions Knives x GN Reader

Synopsis: you're a stressed and overworked college student with a neighbor who likes to get on you about self care

Warnings: none really? slight mentions of food deprivation

─── · 。ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"How much longer are you going to continue to toss in your sleep?"

You sighed heavily, picking up the phone and staring angrily at the screen. "If you hate it so much, you can either: A. hang up or B. come over and bring some food, cause I'm hungry," Huffing as you rolled onto your back, you got out of bed and trudged across the room, stretching. "Specifically a turkey sandwich, make sure you panini press it." The clock read ten past midnight, and insomnia was a bitch. You opened the door to enter the hallway towards the kitchen. A massive project was due at the end of the week, but you figured you couldn't get anything done with the burnout you were experiencing.

Nai scoffed, his voice loud from being on speaker mode. "I would sooner be shot in the leg than deliver you any package at this hour. Do you not have any food in your apartment?" You could basically feel his irritation radiating from the screen.

"Uh... would a spoonful of oregano count? If we're feeling spicy, we can just do a glass of water." You silently laughed, putting the phone on a table and flicking the lights on. Food was never a priority considering how much work you always were having to catch up on (procrastination). Eating became an afterthought to allow yourself more time to sit hunched over your laptop, typing countless essays. Unfortunate, but there wasn't much you could do about it. There was a knock on the front door as you passed the living room. Who the hell... You cautiously walked over and looked through the peephole. Huh. A big grin was on your face as you opened the door, arms crossed. "Well, look who it is."

Nai pursed his lips as he shoved a paper bag into your hands. "The thought of you standing in your kitchen, shoving fistfuls of spices into your mouth, was too pathetic to bear," He stepped inside and looked around your messy apartment in distaste. "Did I not just clean this last week?"

He had, in fact, cleaned the living room last week, including the rest of the house, but you played deaf, humming as you followed him. The two of you have been neighbors for months, his place next to yours, which is how he came over so quickly. Irritating him was your favorite pastime, half because of his reaction and the other because you loved being close to him. You would never admit that to him, though; he would never let you live it down. But none of this really explained why he had your food prepared as soon as you'd asked. Maybe he was some kind of off-brand supernatural speed demon and happened to do it fast? You wouldn't put it past him.

He suddenly stopped walking, and you bumped into him, hissing as you grabbed your head in pain. Why was his back built like concrete? "Ugh, you good? Kind of hard to walk if you're just gonna stand in the middle of the hallway like that."

A slight scowl was on his face as he turned to face you, having just now entered the kitchen. There were piles of dishes in the sink and boxes of delivery everywhere, most notably cheap Chinese takeout (orange chicken got you through writer's block). You hadn't had time to clean recently; more often than not, you were just eating to feed your brain and then going straight back to work.

Sitting down and actually enjoying a meal hasn't been a reality ever since you started university. There just wasn't enough time. "I thought we agreed that you would buy groceries this week."

You shrugged, going to set the paper bag down on the counter. "I can last a few more days without them. There are leftovers from what I hadn't finished yet," When you pulled out the container of food, a smile came on your face again. Not only had Nai made your sandwich, but he had given you a side of salad, along with freshly cut fruit. He always ensured you had nutrients instead of just fats and grease in your meals. "How did you end up making this so quickly anyways?"

"I had it already made. I assumed you would be neglecting your basic human needs, and I was proven right once again."

What a smartass. Rolling your eyes, you sat down to eat your food. As you took a bite of the sandwich, you sighed happily and closed your eyes in satisfaction. He was a smartass, but damn, could he cook. You popped an apple slice into your mouth and glanced at him, getting a trash bag to clean up. "You really don't have to do that. It's not your responsibility," All you got was a grunt in response, making you laugh softly. "For someone who complains everytime he does it, you always insist on cleaning up after me."

You rested your elbows on the table, cradling your head in your hands as you stared at him. He looked really good for someone who was half asleep at 12 am. He always insisted on wearing a tight black turtleneck to bed, no matter what. Your eyes rolled over the crevices of his flexing back muscles as he picked up trash. Had he been working out more? How did he even find the time? Nai took as many classes as you did, but he always seemed one step ahead of his work, all while balancing a healthy routine as well. He went on runs, played piano in his spare time, and even meal prepped.

In some ways, you envied him. To have your life put together in that way seemed impossible for you. "You know, I never call anybody," He stopped moving and turned his head to look at you, but you kept talking, not even paying attention. "I get too anxious for that, so I prefer texting. But for some reason, you always insist on doing these nightly calls, even when we see each other every other day. Why? Especially when you always complain about me tossing and turning." You said playfully as you took another bite of your sandwich. Why did he have to be so good at cooking too? Fuck.

There was silence as he got up to tie the garbage bag and wash his hands. You glanced around the kitchen, which looked remarkably cleaner. All he did was pick up trash, which looked better than when you did chores for a full day. Who the hell was this dude?

As Nai dried his hands off, you finished your food, sighing contentedly. Then, a sudden wave of exhaustion washed over your body as you started to sway. He grabbed your shoulder, keeping you from almost hitting your head on the table. You weren't even phased as he picked you up and carried you in his arms back to your room like you weighed nothing. Guess the all-nighters finally caught up to you. He glanced down at you as he made his way to the back of the apartment, but you barely noticed due to how tired you were. There was a comfortable quietness between you two, as there always was. Sometimes, words didn't need to be said; his presence was enough. Again, you would never say this out loud. He would become insufferable. What a bitch.

As he stepped into your room, he delicately placed you on your bed, and you yawned, laying your head on the pillow. Jesus, you really were exhausted. As your eyelids started to flutter shut, you felt something touching your face. You looked up to see Nai's finger caressing your cheek with an unreadable expression. He then spoke quietly, "You are one of the only people who attempt to converse with me. I never understood why; I am not a fun person to talk to." He leaned over and got closer to your face, meeting your gaze. "However, I've grown fond of you regardless. And as such, I've also started to enjoy hearing your voice, which is why I call you."

You stared at him, suddenly wide awake. He was never one to talk about himself, much less his feelings. The two of you never had such intimate conversations, and on the rare occasion you did, it was always you ranting to him as he quietly listened. To hear him confess his true motives like this, it felt foreign. But it also made you... happy?

"As insufferable as you are, to be without you is like torture. I feel the urge to care for you and keep you safe. I clean up your apartment because I know you won't do it yourself. I make your favorite meals because you deprive yourself of things you need to stay alive. It's an integral part of my life that I can't bear to part with, and I want to keep cherishing you like this as long as I can. Because I care about you. More than you'll ever realize," He gives you a small kiss on the forehead as he stands up to leave. "Now rest, and I'll come to visit you in the morning." As he leaves, you roll over on your back to stare at the ceiling. He likes you. Holy shit, he likes you. Dear god.

A/N: i was NOT expecting so many people to find my account already LMAO, i'm honored

[at-wicks-end]

burnout ; jw

john wick / reader 672 words ; angst other tags: mutual pining, right person wrong time, john and reader are in their 30s <3 pls do not repost!!

It shouldn’t be like this, John thinks to himself, feeling sick to the stomach. Still, he keeps his expression pleasant. He is your friend. He should be happy. He should be supportive. You look radiant.

“He proposed last Friday,” you grin, holding your hand out to show him the ring. It’s not ugly, but John would’ve chosen something different. It just doesn’t capture your personality, but he keeps his thoughts to himself. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but I didn’t want to do it over the phone since it’s pretty big news.”

You stare at the ring with a small smile in your face, but John can tell that you’re lost in thought. The unreadable look in your eyes is the only thing that pushes him to ask. “Are you happy?” He says carefully. You blink in surprise, the strange look in your eyes giving way to confusion. 

“Are you happy?” John repeats, and the smile in your face falters.

“What do you mean?” You laugh lightly, but he doesn’t buy it. “I’ve just gotten engaged, John. Of course I am.”

The noise from the rest of the coffee shop seems to disappear as he looks into your eyes, searching. You look put-together, like you always are, but there is a weariness in your posture. You alternate between fidgeting with your mug and your ring, and your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. Suddenly, that look in your eyes isn’t as unreadable as he thought.

“You look unsure,” he says softly. 

“I look tired,” you correct. “I couldn’t sleep last night. I was working through some stuff.”

Another lie. John decides to let it slide this once. “So when’s the wedding?” He changes the topic, and your posture relaxes marginally. 

“Matt wants it to be a summer wedding, somewhere with a beach, maybe?” You say brightly, and John already knows you’re overcompensating. “I wanted it to be in either spring or—”

“Fall,” John finishes, taking a sip of his coffee. “I thought you hated the idea of a summer wedding, much less one at a beach. What changed?”

“Well, Matt really likes the idea, so I guess it’s not that bad?” You shrug, and John can feel his free hand clench underneath the table. 

“You don’t seem that excited,” he points out, and you grimace. It tells him what he needs to know.

He wants to grab your shoulders and shake you so you can come to your senses. He wants to tell you that it should be him instead. He wants. 

Instead, John reminds himself of his reality: he is an assassin and you are a civilian. Being with him is a death sentence, and this is the best possible situation he could ask for. You are safe and away from him, with someone to care for you. John can keep tabs on you from afar, and everyone is happy.

That is the lie John must tell himself.

“For what it’s worth, congratulations,” he says sincerely. “I wish you two the best.”

For a moment, nothing is said. The two of you lock eyes, and his heart lurches at the way his own yearning is mirrored in your eyes. He toys with the idea of being the one to marry you instead—to be standing by the altar with you by his side, to exchange rings and vows with you, to spend the rest of his life with you. He considers confessing now, considers telling you how much he loves you so he can whisk you away from that idiot who can’t be bothered to learn what you like. 

The moment passes.

“Thank you, John.” Your voice is warm but resolute. He knows—you know—that this is the end. 

It should have been me, John thinks to himself. It could have been me.

The sunlight catches on your ring, and John rips out the seedling of hope you had planted in his heart. When the two of you part ways, he leaves his dreams of a quiet life with you.

hello!!! first jw fic here hehe hope you guys enjoy!! this is actually the alternate ending of a much larger fic i'm currently writing, so if you liked this, maybe keep an eye out for that one <3 i'll be crossposting this on ao3 as well.

[dizaryswrites]

It's Whumptober time!!

I'm overflowing with ideas and ready to hear which characters y'all want to see!

I took out prompts I have plans for. The rest you can send character suggestions for if you have them! Or if you'd like to see a prompt happen in one of my existing series/AUs. As always, creativity is fickle and if I don't use your suggestion, it's not personal 🙏🏻

Available prompts below the cut!

No. 2: TRUST ISSUES

Amusement Park | Role Reversal | “You got away with the crime while the knife's in my back.” (Charlotte Sands, Rollercoaster)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE

Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS

Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

No. 5: SUNBURN

Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

No. 6: NOT REALISING THEY'RE INJURED

Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES

Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION

Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

No. 9: OBSESSION

Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD

Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE

Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY

Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 16: NECROSIS

Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

No. 18: REVENGE

Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL

Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGESTourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

No. 21: BODY HORROR

Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

No. 23: FORCED CHOICE

Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING

Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

No. 25: SURGERY

Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

No. 26: NIGHTMARES

Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

No. 27: VOICELESS

Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

No. 29: FATIGUE

Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

No. 30: RECOVERY

Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?"

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP

Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

[thatskynews]

Hello! I hope this ask finds you both well.

So, I mostly wanted to ask, what is you two's opinion on sky making most items iap lately? There's been very few igc stuff since some seasons ago and it's been disheartening for a lot of players. I don't see tgc acknowledge this in any way (if they did, you can show me, i often get things wrong)

Anxy: Thanks, I hate it (*hides the money reserved for said items*)

But I agree. It was actually one of the complaints that I wrote in the survey. Sky is getting more and more expensive and it's not looking good in the long run. I only convinced myself that this is better, buying something that you will get with 100% certainty, than wasting my money over gacha with little probability (*also hides the money reserved for genshin's welkin*)

Ymir: I also hate it! I understand why they do it, but I... hate spending more money on games than I need to. The last time I bought anything from sky was the little prince pass I think, and even then I was barely getting by.

Sky's current model is off of probably a push from investors ngl? but also just sucks for most people since they are leaning into pushing for people to either candlerun burnout orrrrr buying the candles straight up. I've used up many candles over the years on friends! I was a social little guy when I was most into sky!!

honestly the price going up pattern has been fairly steady since prophecy(as much as I hate to say it :( ) and I doubt it shall go fix itself entirely anytime soon... but I do miss the ability to just get everything I need in the seasons with weeks to spare... and the inbetweens being fairly long (I think they used to be about.. nearly 3 weeks?). I'm hoping TGC changes things around- I remembered when the iap having only one item without any other rewards deal first occurred and how upset everyone got. I love sky, but I can not deny the fact it has negatively affected me multiple times because of this specifically :(

I typically do complain to tgc when given the chance though, because of these changes are the reason I didn't play sky for nearly a year straight... and why I still struggle to actively play as much as I did.

[electricsynthesis]

lance’s parents are two trauma nurses who met because they were coworkers. his father went on to be an EMT in an ambulance for the hospital they work for while his mother stayed in the ER trauma wing. they work long grueling hours saving people’s lives. They are both kind of workaholics. frequently they bring their children to work with them. Obviously not into the trauma ER but y’know. To the hospital. by the time luis (the sibling I assume is the oldest) is a teenager he’s already wrangling his younger siblings and babysitting them and shit.

None of this is to say the mcclain parents are like, deadbeat. No sir. they are the kind of overachievers who can work 1000 years and still have time to care for their kids. (to be clear, the older siblings do a lot of the on the ground stuff once they’re older. like cooking. But the parents make sure to be around.) they go on trips a lot. holidays are for the family. Sunday church. If one of the kids has a school thing, one of them will take time off or call out to go. they are masters at coordinating . It’s intimidating how much they can do in a day. The type people who wake up at 4 am and have a months worth of shit done by the time they pass out at 11 pm. They function on no sleep and somehow they are not burnt out .

and they love their kids soooo fucking much but here is the thing here is the thing here is the thing. They expect this kind of overachieving-lack-of-burnout-5-hours-of-sleep insanity from their kids. Which isn’t to say that they’re scrutinizing their kids’ every action but moreso that they just assume everyone can keep up with them. yeah of course luis is babysitting his siblings and worrying about the SAT, what’s wrong with that. That’s normal. I could’ve done that ?

this is a home life that creates insane honors student children who will grow up to get 2 phds and change the world or total burnouts. Zero inbetween. all of lance’s older siblings are the former and lance is fucking HURTLING towards being the latter.

my headcanon for the siblings ages goes from oldest to youngest is luis -> veronica -> marco -> rachel & lance (lance is a few minutes younger). The sibling named rachel looks a lot like lance so I like to headcanon them as twins.

luis: 30, a psychiatrist at a private practice, married with 2 children

veronica: 27, field medic/pilot for the military, specifically with the nevada galaxy garrison base (everyone being just a pilot is boring, sorry) (I headcanon the shows garrison base as being in nevada because I think it’s a cute area-51 reference)

marco: 25, working on his thesis for a phd in marine biology. certified outdoorsman, likes to spend his free time on exploratory seafaring vessels doing ocean science stuff

rachel & lance: 16 (the surprise menopause babies!)

Anyway she’s his #burnout solidarity she has it worse than him. he was like okay. Okokkkkokokokokok I’m going to go into the military and he completely washed out of the fighter pilot program because he doesn’t have enough talent to make up for his god given ADHD need to procrastinate. rachel just went to normal highschool and her lack of extracurriculars and middling-to-bad grades was the family’s nuclear explosion ( Before lance went missing—) because everyone thought she wanted to kill herself . She kind of did.

She has all of lance’s issues with insecurity and none of his false confidence. she’s shy and anxious a lot of the time. But she’s smart. Witty. quick and sarcastic. She’s the alt kid of the family . Will unprompted complain about things like Society and Capitalism and The Government. internet commie. was a crybaby as a kid but grew into a weirdly jaded teenager.

lance is obviously the obnoxious youngest sibling. he’s loud and attention seeking and annoying on purpose. he hates being alone and will be irritating just to get you to let him hang out with you. Exactly the type of kid to follow his older siblings around and whine until they let him hang out with them and their friends.

marco is the chill sibling. A gamer. he’s like always 100% of the time stressed out of his mind about school but it’s looped back around to making him really really really outwardly calm. interpersonal conflict does nothing to him because he’s too busy exploding with terror about his grades. the only thing that makes him feel calm is the ocean. used to go with his uncles on (noncommercial, hobby) fishing trips and it sparked an utter adoration for the sea in him. he’s a lot older than rachel & lance but he’s the closest with them, he was happy to babysit them & hang out with them. Introduced them to video games

veronica is a hardass. she was the patented Overachiever Kid. was playing sports, in academic clubs, and played an instrument all before she was in middle school. she drops some of this as she gets older but proceeds to pour all her energy into academics. she’s not valedictorian or anything but she’s spending like every day at school until 5 pm doing science shit. has absolutely 0 tolerance for bullshit. A rule follower down to her core. thrives off of approval from authority. got her bachelor’s in premed. was hit with a crushing, all-consuming existential dread about What Will She Do After School. so she decided to join the military about it.

luis was the goody two shoes kid who rebelled preeeetty hard as a young adult. he was perfectly well behaved all his childhood, earning the approval of both his parents. he babysat his siblings. did well in school. checked all the boxes of Stuff He Was Supposed To Do. and then he went off to college for his premed bachelors as soon as he physically could and proceeded to go INSANE. absolutely BONKERS. utterly unmoored without his family to ground him and completely out of his depth. did bad in school drank got into crazy college drama and most importantly of all. Didn’t talk to anyone at home

he eventually met who would (eventually) become his wife and proceeded to make important emotional connections thus making him more able to both live on his own and return to his little siblings, whom he loves deeply

but by the time lance is a teenager we have: a PhD haver, a lieutenant, and a PhD student, plus 2 nurses in the ER

and this is why lance has confidence issues