#I happened to have over 400 posts in my drafts because I didn’t want to reblog them right away

[lieutenant-amuel]

Yayy, I’m officially using the queue feature now.

[bellaslilpapercut]

Eclipse reread part 3 bewr bewr bewrrr! Covering the entire rest of the book in ONE post so buckle on in baybee: 

1. Absolutely everything about chapter 15 (wager) is disgusting. To a certain extent I appreciate how successfully meyer captures how frustrating assault is as a woman, how futile it feels to fight against it. But at the same time the way she handles the aftermath is unbelievably disappointing and infuriating. Charlie doesn't get up to help his own daughter, Jake trails after Bella into the house and sticks around, there's just no relief or reflection that feels satisfying. Bella can ask where the justice is when she finds out Jake isn't aging but just ignores Charlie defending her assailant? And to some extent I get it, I've shut down after assault before to the point where it took years to recognize that some of the things that happened even were assault. But when there's a pattern within the series of men being narratively rewarded for assault and abuse and women being punished for reacting to abuse it feels like the narrative is reinforcing the status quo of women<men. I'm not stupid, I understand when a book is trying to make me uncomfortable and I don't need villains to be punished to know that they're villainous. This doesn't come across that way at all. Meyers handling of misogynistic abuse and violence lack the nuance to make me believe that she sees this violence as something to be critical of rather than something that just happens to women. And again, because it's a pattern in her writing, women getting no reprieve from gendered harm, I don't believe she's making a statement. There's just no self awareness and that's the key difference between a story like Brave New World or Lolita and Twilight.

2. Also this quote that precedes the assault is just so so frustrating:

Bella is not mean for setting boundaries! She isn't stringing you along! I would love to hit meyer in the head with a rolled up newspaper. Anyway.

3. Bella keeps saying things like "this would be annoying if it weren't so scary" in regards to having her clothes stolen by vampires that want her dead and having to lie to people around her, again because dozens of vampires want her dead. And y'know after the third time she said she would be annoyed if she weren't scared I'm just left to believe she isn't scared at all. I don't feel rising tension, the newborn army feels like a minor nuisance and even after they connect it to victoria (who still hasn't shown up at all) I'm just like...okay well get on with it then! Meyer makes bella "shudder" (I'm still tempted to make a comp of every time she shudders in this fucking book lol) instead of showing us her actual fear. I don't believe she's scared, I don't care about the "threat," and I don't believe anything bad will happen to Bella. There are Literally No Stakes here. I'm not invested in this story at all.

4. Alice is a bad friend lmfao

Girl, you're psychic you know she wanted to wear red why are you just dressing her up for your brother.

5. Okay returning to point 3 because I read chapter 17 and had an epiphany: Bella says she isn't scared for herself and I get that I do. But smeyer also hasn't shown us that she's selfless- just that she doesn't care if she dies. If bella actually cared for her human friends, in any way, I would believe that the newborn army was a scary threat because the people she loves might get hurt. But I don't believe that she cares about that I only believe that she- like Edward- has a weird martyr complex.

6. The Mirror chapter also reinforces this. I can’t stop thinking about how much more impactful it would have been narratively if it had been Angela in Bree’s position (because she’s the only human friend Bella seems fond of but if Bella showed interest in any of the other humans, honestly any of them would do). Imagine the moment where the newborn vampire first lifts her head to look into Bella’s eyes and it’s someone she knows. Someone she cares for. There should have been consequences for Bella beyond “Jake got some bones broken and now I feel bad :(” which was also a shitty punishment because smeyer is inflicting physical trauma on an indigenous character just to make Bella feel bad. Okay. Anyway, it would have built the tension I was missing for- quite literally- over 300 pages of this book if Bella’s friends and classmates and Fork’s residents had been going missing the whole time. Suddenly, at the end of the battle, there’s Angela. Or Jess. Or Katie fucking Marshall. Someone Bella knew should have been there and maybe I would have cared about this book at all.

7. Going back in time to this quote which comes before the battle:

UGH!!! SHUT UP SMEYER! She literally poisoned Jake’s character from the moment she made him a main character and she has zero self reflection to see the damage that she’s causing here. I’ve said before that I don’t think Jake’s actions were a romantic deal breaker and that stands out now more than ever after reading Eclipse. THIS is the moment that Bella realizes she’s in love with Jake too. Smeyer not only sees abuse and aggression as romantic, she also lacks the braincells and reflection to see that she’s playing directly into racist stereotypes. Edward got to grow up- marginally- but Jake had to remain aggressive. I still don’t think she ever once meant to villify Jake- I think that there was no way in a hell a racist woman could ever successfully portray an indigenous character. His tenderness is tainted by the aggression she forces on his character and in the end he never had a chance because- again- he was being written by a racist woman with fucked up views of indigenous people.

8. Okay, I get it. They’re like Cathy and Heathcliff. Fine. I buy it.  

This isn’t even the last time she compares them to Cathy and Heathcliff. Kate Bush isn’t gonna write a song about you, meyer! Give it a rest! (Also lol at “like wuthering heights”)

9.  Jumping right to the end here because to be completely honest the only actual event in the entire book was the newborn battle. Jane was a bitch, fine. Edward talked at Victoria and bored her to death (presumably) and the action never felt very action heavy. I knew if from the “best friend (and werewolf)” line that this book was presumably written for idiots given how little is left to the imagination at any given time. I can’t stand when books treat the audience like dummies and I especially can’t handle YA books that do this. Teenagers aren’t stupid!! Young adults can pick up on subtlety in literature!! AND young adults can handle suspense and action. smeyer doesn’t do either well and the editors never once said “hey you know teens aren’t stupid right? like your audience will pick up on hints that you scatter you don’t have to forcefully explain everything?”  

10. Smeyer can’t stop interrupting herself even in the very last sentence of the book proper:

What, pray tell, is wrong with “Where it would stay for the rest of eternity.” Why did you have to sow doubt in the sentiment right after Bella made her For Real Final Decision???? And why the em-dash!? Again: the editors of the twilight saga are my nemeses but also my favorite conmen. What were they paid for?

11. Back to the editors real quick: if i was given a draft of eclipse I would instantly say: this story is almost 400 pages of nothing, you need to play with the structure of the story. You need to build suspense and if that means playing with POV like you randomly start doing in the epilogue, then do that. Or you can play with the plot. Nothing happens for 300 pages. It takes 300 pages to get to the newborn battle and nothing that happens before the newborn battle makes me feel worried about it. Again, kill off some humans, raise the stakes, do SOMETHING. This was so painfully slow to read because meyer tried to center this book on a love triangle that I didn’t even believe in myself. And even then, it took 14 chapters for the love triangle to get real action (as in an Event, not necessarily physical action). 

12. The epilogue. Oh man. Was the r-slur really so acceptable in 2007 that not one single editor questioned its use? I won’t type the quote in full but Jake refers to his fake arm sling as r-word. Like??? What? And THEN smeyer has him call Leah a “bitter harpy.” Shut up. 

In conclusion, nothing felt like a bigger waste of time than Eclipse. Genuinely, to be completely honest. Two (2) important things happened, at least in Bella’s narrative (I agree with Vinelle that the Volturi debacle was important from Carlisle’s perspective, it adds nothing to Bellas and Bella learns nothing important from it.): 1. Bella made a decision, she chose Edward. Who could have seen that coming? Whaaaat? 2. Rosalie told Bella her backstory. Not that Bella even used that to reflect on her decision to become a vampire but hey, at least it felt like an important moment. Jasper’s backstory only mattered for the newborn battle which didn’t matter at all (and it never informed his character and no one ever brings up that the confederacy was a terrible dark stain on US history (along with the rest of US history but that’s a full dissertation or two on its own)). I can’t imagine a way to improve this book as a standalone book. You could split up the plot (using that term loosely) so that New Moon and BD are both a little longer and BD a little more organized. But without completely changing the plot beats in Eclipse, its just pointless.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Another set of responding to asks lol.. As usual I have them numbered and will also write out the ask in the text, especially since the screencaps are all blurry and taken at various times/compiled together badly and probably hard to read ghghhggh..... answers under the read more ~ 

-------------------------

1. "Hi I don't mean to bother you at all, but I was wondering where you get your rocking horse shoes? (I think thats what they're called) I've been looking everywhere and I can't seem to find any :(( "

I don’t entirely remember, since I got them like 6 or 7 years ago.. I think maybe at some point that place ‘bodyline’ or something had some cheap ones? But I don’t see them on the site anymore, they were like $50 or $60. Now when I google it I can only find these insane like $600 ones from vivian westwood or whoever, or ones that are platform shoes but not necessarily the same type. Maybe you could find some on aliexpress or ebay or something? Usually you have to use weirdly specific search terms and look for a while, but you can often find stuff like that on those sites. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help!!! 

2. "I've been sick for over a month and my doctor tested me - everything came back fine. After some discussion it appears that my ptsd symptoms came back and the stress on my body is making me fatigued, sick and dizzy. I don't want to say that this could be similar to you situation, but if you have a therapist or someone to talk to about any stresses/your sickness, it might help relieve the pressure a bit. Good luck, I'm so sorry you feel so unwell"

Thank you for sharing! Yeah, I think stress definitely plays a part in why I feel sick so often. Currently I’m not still having the same problem I was having a few months ago when you sent this, so that’s good at least!! 

3. “Hi! Do you plan to ever have more sculptures for sale? Or would you do commissions? I haven't seen any in a while but wanted to buy one! :-O”

I have plenty that I want to sell, I guess it’s just hard for me to get set up. Since so much of the reason I procrastinate selling stuff is because I hate the stress of deciding on a price, I’ve thought for a while now that maybe I can just auction them (so I just set a base price, but people bid whatever they feel is fair and I don’t have to decide myself). But I’m just not sure of a good way to do that.. Ebay has auctions, but I don’t want random strangers buying them, I’d rather stick to just the pool of people who follow my art blog and are already familiar with my sculptures or etc. I could do them on here ?? (like, ‘reply to this post to bid, bids close 8am EST, whoever said the highest number sends the money through paypal and then I send the sculpture’ sort of thing???)   But I’m not sure if it’s legal to sell stuff through tumblr, or if there could be any other problems with doing it so ‘unofficially’ like that.. I don’t know, I have a vague idea, I’m just having trouble deciding the best way to set up something! I do want to sell some soon though, if I live through the pandemic and anything ever goes back to normal, of course (I wouldn’t want to be having to leave the house to ship stuff in the mail right now). 

As for commissions, I have actually done sculpture commissions for friends a few times, so I feel confident-ish that I’d be able to do something like that, but I also wouldn’t want to get overwhelmed since it takes a lot of work. Custom sculptures may also be more expensive, and again.. I always feel guilty and strange about pricing. I’ve thought about doing very limited sculpture commissions though (like, maybe just one at a time, first come first serve or something..?). If it seems like there’s actual interest in that sort of thing, I could definitely consider doing it in the future! 

4. " *picks up that smol blue kid and throws them across the room* "

ghgh .. the smallness is an advantage... they could just skitter back down your arm like a tiny squirrel the second you tried to pick them up.. Ythrili survival strategy is to be too small to catch in the first place 

(also forgive every sketch in this post, my screen that you can draw on broke, so I’m either drawing stuff in ms paint with a mouse, or drawing stuff on paper and coloring it in firealpaca also with a mouse ghghh.. not going to look Good)

5. "it sounds like you feel pressure to only post good content on the internet, and so you end up psyching yourself out of posting at all. Am I on the right track? "

Not necessarily, like I mentioned in the tags I think it’s more just that everything is complicated by my brain. I can’t just do something effortlessly. Whether it’s for an audience or not, I get caught up on every little detail and adding so much complexity to everything that all tasks take me longer than they take other people lol. I think I just tend to take everything very seriously?? 

Like for example, I’m often accused of ‘turning things into a discussion’ when someone was just intending to make an off-handed remark, because if someone is bringing up a topic to discuss, I end up engaging with it 100% and putting full effort into it, and it’s hard for me to be ‘’casual’’ about pretty much anything (so if someone was like ‘My day yesterday was a bit weird’ I wouldn’t be able to just respond ‘aw man, that sucks’, I would just be like ‘Weird how? what happened? what made it weird? Are you okay now? Are things still weird? Have you found a solution?’ etc. etc.). I was also bad at essays/open answer questions in school (despite usually being great at the class otherwise), because no matter how hard I tried to filter my speech and cut things out, I was always far too long-winded  and would get almost too engaged with the topic and lose the clear cut thought organization and focus that you’re supposed to have I guess. Even like, playing video games or something that’s supposed to be relaxing, I can’t just ‘jump into them’ and do whatever, usually any game I play (large ones at least, small 25 minute  point and click adventure games don’t count of course), I have 7 - 10 pages of notes, do hours of research, look up most of the main spoilers, plan out and organize exactly how I’m going to play it and this and that, etc. lol... 

So, that personality trait carries over into posting things online as well, I can’t just type something out quickly and hit ‘post’ without a second thought. Social media is hard for me because you’re supposed to use it casually, but I spend a long time re-reading drafted posts, thinking about them, etc. etc., and end up never actually getting around to posting anything. It’s not that I’m perfectionist about it and want it to be ‘good’ or appear a certain way, it’s just that my mind becomes preoccupied with things I guess.  I’m a natural information gatherer, part of my natural way of processing things is to learn everything possible before acting, and I want to make sure I’ve fully thought about everything always, and know as much as I can (so I wouldn’t want to publicly say something without giving it a lot of consideration first, or post a picture without really thinking about if I want to post it, what my reasons behind posting it are (like if I’m posting something just for a validation of a certain aspect of myself VS. genuinely because I like it, etc.), if a few months from now I’ll still like that I posted it, etc. lol.. even with like silly cat photos or something, I have to analyze it and be like ‘hmm.. will I still stand by this picture in 4 months? why am I posting it publicly vs, just keeping it privately to myself on my computer? what’s important about it?’ etc. etc. ghgjhgjh.. like.. shut up lol.)

ANYWAY, yeah, I don’t know if it’s about wanting online content to be “good”, as much as it’s just like... I take everything way too seriously and am detail-oriented, contemplative, and analytical to a fault, which means it just takes me 10x longer to do basic ‘’simple’’ things that it would for other people. Though I can still be quite quick-thinking and decisive (I don’t often waver back and forth between things too long), it’s usually because I have years of thinking about the same exact things behind me, so I already am very clear on my opinions on stuff, to a point. But when it’s new things I’m less familiar with (like playing a new game, or posting regularly online), I’m still in a phase where I guess I have to give it a lot of thought. I just process things in a different way than other people I guess? Or have some inherent inability to be brief/concise/careless? If you’ve ever read any of my worldbuilding posts (where I usually start off wanting to explain one thing but then have to derail into 400 other misc. details and explanations and it ends up being a novel), then maybe it’s more evident what I mean, where it’s just like... my natural manner of speaking is Too Much.. I guess? Even this answer is winding and rambly, and I feel like other people could have answered this ask in only a few sentences lol.. 

 If any of that makes sense? I don’t know how to describe how I am lol.. I just know it's hard to me to use social media in this ~~casual effortless~~ way most people seem to, since my brain is just inherently incapable of anything ‘’casual’’ or ‘’effortless’’ lol..  T u T ;; 

6. " Hi! I hope this isn't weird to say, I'm designing a race for my DND campaign and some of the aesthetics are a little bit inspired by some of your costumes and makeup designs. You're awesome and your art is awesome so thanks : ) "

Thanks so much, I appreciate it! It’s always cool to hear I can inspire people~ 

(I usually don’t include many compliments in these ask compilation posts, but I always try to include a few, just to let people know that even if I don’t respond to all of them I do see them, and appreciate it!) 

7.  ???

I ended up cropping out this ask and not answering because some of the content was questionable (the reason WHY/how they wanted to make the character) in a way that I didn’t feel like getting into a long thing about, but part of it was relevant to making OCs in my world, so I will just make a quick comment:

I do state that this is a closed world, so I don’t want anyone making OCs of my species or etc. at least not at this point. Once my game is finished (if ever lol), or I write a few books or something, then I feel it would be understandable if people like, made up a background story for their player character and thus maybe could have some form of OC in my world and etc.. So I may be more relaxed on this in the future as I create content that people naturally would want to engage with , but for now, I’m still a very tiny creator with a closed world and it just doesn’t feel the same as like.. making an oc based on some thing in a big TV series or something. My worldbuliding and etc. is still very personal to me. Unless we’re directly collaborating on things (like mentioned here (link) a bit), or you’re a personal friend of mine who’s gotten involved in the world with my own guidance (meaning I could tell you lore things you’d need to know to make it accurate, etc.), then I don’t feel it’s appropriate for strangers to do at this point. 

Especially since I don’t even have enough world info out for people to be able to reference (most species have half-complete guides, I’ve only ever talked about like, one continent, etc.). There are so many necessary details which I have only in my head and have never typed out, so again, idk, it’d just be weird. I’m not okay with it until I have a lot more lore published, and maybe a few actual works out there that people can reference/stories/games/basis for OCs to exist in the first place. If that makes sense? 

8. "Hey, is it ok to use your outfit posts as inspiration for a dnd character? I love them so much, you have such a unique way of combining crazy patterns and fabrics into something that gives off a good vibe”

Yes, that would be fine! Thank you for asking, and I appreciate the compliments~ Hopefully I can get back to posting that sort of thing more often lol.. I’ve gotten WAY off my routine and haven’t done many outfits lately.. aaa

9. "hi Luca! i just wanted to say i really love all of your costumes and fashions and dress ups, its all so cool and pretty and interesting. i actually wanna dress up for fun for myself, and now that i know about the bins i think i'll try to convince my mom to take me to similar places for cheap clothing pieces, since my mom is worried about how much all this costume stuff costs. anyway, please keep posting your cool and beautiful stuff! "

Thank you so much! I wish you luck with your costumes! Yeah, I think there’s a common idea in a lot of fashion communities (like with makeup, costumes, etc.) that you have to always have high quality things to look nice, and even if sometimes you can do more with a little extra money, really you can make anything look good with what you have if you just combine it right. As I’ve always been quite low income, being into fashion and stuff has be discouraging at times, that I couldn’t afford certain materials or items, but you just have to find a niche where what you’re able to do works. For example, a lot of even ‘cheap’ lolita style clothings are too expensive for me (like $30 - $50 for a dress??? then the more pricey ones can be over $100???) lol.. BUT, then stuff like mori kei, cult party kei, fantasy costumes, etc. you can do with nearly any fabric you can find, and it’s still just as fun and creative. Most of the outfits I take pictures of probably cost me no more than $1 - $10 for every single item combined. Obviously it depends on location - I have better access now that I live near a place like the bins, which I understand there may not be similar resources in small towns or etc. But even with generic thrift stores (which may not be as cheap as the bins), you can still find pretty good alternatives to all the money it costs to buy things brand new. There’s still some stuff I legit just can’t do because I don’t have access to the materials, but for the most part I can manage everything I’d like with $3 eye-shadows and 15 cent tattered curtain fabrics lol. You can still do really cool stuff on a pretty nonexistent budget!

10. “do you have any tips on growing your hair long? is it expensive to up keep? i wanna grow mine out but it grows so slow!”

Well, I know nothing about hair and am not a hair stylist or etc. so I really don’t have any tips lol??  And I think hair maintenance depends a lot on the type of hair you have, not everyone’s is the same. I assume we must have similar hair  (my natural hair is thick kind of coarse very dark brown/black hair, which is a bit wavy in some parts but mostly straight, but most of my hair currently (aside from the overgrown roots at the top) is altered because of damage from bleaching and etc., it’s more brittle. so that’s what I’ll be referencing) if you’re asking me this instead of someone else, but just know that whatever I say may not apply to you.  

Anyway, I really don’t do anything to my hair to make it grow or etc., it’s just that I’ve gone a long time without cutting it lol. I used to cut it all the time or change styles, and now I’ve kind of just left it for 5 or 6 years or so. Because of my mental illness I have trouble maintaining personal care and etc., so I do sometimes go a week or more without washing it, even though I’m trying to work that into my schedule more (luckily I don’t have stinky head, I’ve heard some people’s scalp oils and stuff can smell weird if left for too long, I have the privilege of being able to like.. skip on hygiene a lot without it severely impacting my ability to do things or etc. since it’s usually not obvious if I haven’t bathed in a week or two). 

My cat also EATS HUMAN HAIR for some reason, so I have to keep it up all the time, so that when I shed it doesn’t actually just fall loose onto the ground lol. Literally all I do to my hair is just keep it in two braids at all times and wash it with normal shampoo and conditioner occasionally, when I can. I really only think it’s gotten long because I’ve been leaving it alone and not messing with it, not really because of anything I’ve done (like I don’t use fancy products on it or etc.) And because of that, no, it’s not really expensive! It absolutely WOULD be if I were like..a normal functioning person and I regularly bleached it and dyed it and put products on it and styled it and used shampoo and conditioner every 1-3 days on it and etc. lol.. But I guess because I don’t do anything to it to maintain it, I’m not spending money on hairspray or dye or shampoo or etc.  I used to bleach it a lot and straighten it and use hairspray and stuff on it, and it seems healthier (at least on the new top parts) now that I’m just ... ignoring it basically lol. But I don’t really know what to do to make it grow faster! I’m bad at self-care, and even if I do costumes and stuff, I really am not into beauty and hair and nails and makeup and stuff, so I’m probably the wrong person to ask hghjhb.. My upkeep routine is just... eat and sleep. wash face with water daily.. do extra stuff if you can manage to despite your functioning issues, etc. I’m definitely not a Beauty Advice person, I barely brush my hair even once a week lol

11. "Maybe you should reduce the number of races if it's too overwhelming? A world can still be immersive with only a few races in it."

(sidenote - Not to be nitpicky, but I make a specific point that the groups of fantasy creatures I create are species, not ‘’races’’, even though it is a commonly used term in fantasy worldbuilding, I think it’s inaccurate/weird )

I know I don’t have to make so many different groups, but, I guess I just really want it to be a broad setting. Part of the point in creating Nanyevimi (aside from worldbuilding just being extremely fun and a hobby greatly suited to someone with my personality traits lol) is to have an established world that I can do anything within, a framework already built where it'd be super easy to just drop a character anywhere on the map and already have an idea of what their culture, background, experiences, etc. would be based on pre-existing details about that portion of the world, etc. But I also want it to be broad, and varied, where every area kind of has it’s own dynamics going on there, so if you’re in a different place, you get a different kind of story. (like in an elven alliance city, you’d be better suited to tell an adventure story centering around complicated local politics, or city life, or etc.. whereas out in some isolated mountains in the south, it’d be more suited for a mystery story about stumbling across ancient ruins, or running into a mysterious traveler, etc.) 

Which I guess doesn’t matter much, since I'm better at setting, world design, character design, planning, and details than I am at plot, so  I probably won’t actually ever do anything with it (god forbid I tried to write a book or something with my utter inability to be concise/brief in any imaginable way). I can craft settings/characters/history/world-details all day endlessly, never losing inspiration or etc, but my weak point is actually telling stories within those settings and formulating a solid plan, organizing plot structures long term and etc.. Setting up everything for something to happen/creating a place where many interesting premises could occur is fine, but then actually thinking of how those things should OCCUR, or how the set up should play out, is where I get kind of lost. I guess the ideal at some point would be to have people working with me, helping when writing stories in my world/outlining games/etc, to add more cohesion/structure and reign in the unfocused stream of ideas,  but that’s very unlikely since I don’t have any close friends that are good at organizing or plotting either, etc. BUT anyway, even if I can’t ever manage to do anything with it, the whole “having a setting I can use for anything I want if anything ever comes up, which is already established and thus makes it much easier to formulate ideas because all the background work is already done for myself” thing is at least a nice goal.. in concept...theoretically lol..  

And, it’s not really too overwhelming, I think the overwhelming part is actually just formatting and producing those ideas in a consumable form. It’s not hard for me to keep track of 20 different groups and make backgrounds and every imaginable detail for them, but it IS hard to actually take all that information that exists in my head, type it out as a worldbuilding post, format and organize it, draw pictures to go with it, etc. If I could just post long stream of consciousness style 300,000 word long posts with no paragraph breaks, 4000 typos, barely any punctuation, etc., then I’d have A LOT more world-building info publicly available (since that’s what all the initial documents on my computer look like lol), but that’s just so inaccessible it’d be pointless to have public in the first place. The hard part isn’t really coming up with or managing the information, it’s just... organizing it all, and finding a way to share it. 

12. "oh PLEASE tell me what boing peach beverage the elf looks like"

a quick sketch of them.. mysterious peach (and other produce) salesman   

13. "fun question: what are ur fashion pet-peeves?"

Well, basically none because I hate when people are rigid over Fashion Rules or etc. Like, people who take pictures of others in public because they “look weird” , or who constantly trash on what people are allowed to wear, what patterns can be mixed with others, etc. etc. I get that some stuff can look kind of bad sometimes, and it’s not that I think nobody is allowed to criticize fashion trends or etc. (especially if they’re legitimately problematic, like of course someone wearing a homophobic t-shirt or doing blackface should be criticized), but I mean just like... that sort of trivial bitter criticism that doesn’t do anything but make people feel bad about the way they look or make them afraid to dress in ways they feel comfortable. Like taking a picture of someone and posting it online to make fun of them because they wore socks with sandals, or bullying 14 year olds who just started doing makeup and haven’t totally gotten their look sorted out yet, etc. etc. (ESPECIALLY since this can often intersect with classism, racism, etc. if you really examine what people mock as 'ugly' or 'unacceptable' styles, it's often stuff like men wearing dresses/makeup, women not shaving, clothing associated with poverty (like wearing “”cheap”” clothes), physical traits commonly associated with poc, making fun of people who look a certain way likely due to mental illness (like fidgeting, dirty mismatched clothing, carrying stuffed animals or comfort items in public etc.), etc. etc.

I find costumes and makeup and outfits to be a very cool and fun way to express myself. So when people are complete freaks about it and set out to just relentlessly make others feel bad for no good reason, it’s like... obnoxious... How can you take something with so much potential and limit it and close others off and turn it into this rigid hateful thing, when it should be something that everyone is able to be passionate about and appreciate?? Outside appearance isn't everything, but it's a tool of expression for so many people and can relate to who they are as a person, people should never feel uncomfortable to be who they are or look how they look just because some dumbass rich person writing for a style magazine has the gall to declare some random thing to be 'Unfashionable' despite not having a genuinely creative bone in their body, or some bigot thinks that certain things are ‘ugly’ or ‘unprofessional’ due to their own mental associations, etc.

But anyway, I guess if I had to choose a few things that I just think look kind of odd to me personally/are generally off-putting...  

--- the overdrawing lips thing when you can see the persons actual lip-line and it almost looks like they have two mouths or something? (if not done intentionally for costume makeup). It can look a little strange to me sometimes, like an optical illusion where you see multiple mouth lines at once?? idk like this?

--- freckles that are just round circles and really heavy and don’t look realistic (though again, I also realize this could just be the person’s first time drawing them on or something and I’m not  mocking for lack of skill, etc. I just mean that it’s a little strange to look at, not actually BAD though) (and it can also be intentional, like for a cartoony costume look) ---- People adopting cutesy/childlike fashion and clothing and sexualizing it or using it as part of their sex/kink stuff.. I just feel like anything associated with children should not be sexualized..? If the first thing someone thinks when seeing children's school uniforms or frilly little girl’s doll dresses or whatever is that it could be a Hot Thing then hhh... like why is your brain making those connections lol.. People can dress how they want for whatever reasons they want, but that’s always personally creeped me out a little. Similar to our culture’s obsession with looking young being ‘hot’ (like a grown man wanting someone who’s a legal adult but still “looks 16″ or etc.), where it’s like.. okay, I guess yeah outwardly you can make that choice, and maybe aren’t directly causing harm, but.. the underlying tones of it and etc. still make it very unsettling to witness lol... ---- anything appropriated obviously, as well as fetishization or bastardization of cultures, like t-shirts with Japanese writing on them Just For Aesthetic, or taking certain culturally or religiously significant symbols or etc. and adopting them as ‘just a silly fashion’ thing when you’re actually being disrespectful, etc.  ---- those shorts or whatever that go up extremely high on the hipbones always look a little weird to me lol, like they give a person funny proportions, 

(you may have to right click open image in new window and zoom to see the text, but it’s like.. the blank space makes it look kind of weird to me? Like there’s too much where there’s just nothing going on? idk. That’s just my personal preference though, obviously I tend to lean towards busy designs lol)

That’s all I can think of though, like I said, I’m really not picky or judgy about fashion since I think people should be able to do whatever they want for the most part. I’m not like a “omg stripes should NEVER be worn with plaid!!” type person or something lol. 

14. "Hey Luca! I love when you post about your world. Do you have a favorite species you've made up so far? Also, I hope you're holding up well during the crisis!"

AAaa thanks! I’m okay mostly. It’s distressing since because of my particular mental illness I already have constant paranoia and obsessions about health, so of course hearing about so much illness can be really triggering constantly and I’m preoccupied in never-ending anxiety spirals about mortality and etc. etc. etc. , but situationally, I’m just very thankful that nobody in my household has gotten sick yet and I desperately wish that will continue to be the case. *** *** *** 

(ignore the *** *** *** , this is a text version of a physical compulsion (a hand movement) that I have to do when I mention certain topics lol.. the little man in my brain that controls my obsessive compulsive disorder says I must do certain things after saying or thinking certain things,, You Know How It Is ) 

And I really love worldbuilding questions, so thank you so much!!!!! Hghgh maybe it seems weird to favor any over the others, but of course I really like the Avirre'thel. Conceptually, I think their origin story and connection to ancient elves and their abilities and etc. put them in a really unique position in the broader world (some of the only truly immortal people to exist, the only people who can still decipher ancient elven texts in a way that makes sense, etc. etc.). Since Nanyevimi (my world) is really just a setting being built so that in the future I can set things within it (games, short stories, etc.), I think I'm drawn to the aspects of it that have the most potential to make interesting characters, and there are definitely a lot of pre-established dynamics with the Avirre'thel/in Navyete (their home country) as a whole that would make it an good place to set certain things, or a good group for a main character to be from, etc.

I do really like the Jhevona as a species overall too, even if I haven't developed them as much, they also kind of stand out as having some fairly unique features that put them in an interesting position in the world (being one of the most magically capable groups that exists but that also having downsides (health issues and infertility from magic exposure, etc.), how the necessity to keep control over their magic influences their culture, being some of the only natural shape-shifters, etc.). Within that, I REALLY love the Thastanri (a subspecies of Jhevona), like their connection to dreams, the Imkasyn, being one of the last few peoples in contact with real dragons, etc. etc. There are a lot of complex things going on in their area, so there’d be a lot of potential to tell a variety of stories or have interesting characters from that group. 

AND, though it's supposed to be Unknown in the world so I won't talk about it just in case I ever write a book one day or something and need to preserve at least a FEW mysteries that I don't just outright explain in worldbuilding posts, Jhevona do have the most interesting origins of any species in my opinion. There are some things from before the timeline break sort of thing (where all recorded history was seemingly wiped and everyone had a big memory loss about 50,000 yrs ago) that people aren't aware of anymore... but Jhevona used to have a cool backstory and quite interesting function in society prior to that. There are some remnants in the genetics of the species and how their magic works (at least for certain groups) that kind of hint at how ancient Jhevona used to look and what they used to do, even though in the modern day things are very different.

15. "Top 10 songs you've been listening to lately?"

I don’t have a top 10 since I listen to everything for different reasons, and don’t have as deep a relationship with music the way some people do (like I don’t really have a favorite band or group I have a connection with that’s “gotten me through hard times”, or music I cry to/any songs that are specifically personally emotionally meaningful to me, etc., etc.), but here’s a quick playlist of a few favorite-ish things I’ve had in my head a lot recently - 

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPmQ4SZdFFHNkgKo7nAiEMgVvLcycX5Qc

the last song on the list specifically I’ve been replaying a lot for some reason, I guess since it’s good background music as there’s no words. Particularly the part that starts around like 38 seconds in, something about that melody reminds me of something distant, in a dreamlike way. The past few days I mostly alternate between that song, Outstanding, and And The Beat Goes On  lol

16. " Do you ever sell sculptures? I really like that little fawn!"

Yeah, I hope to eventually! Like I mentioned in question number three, if I can set up some sort of way to do auctions or etc, then maybe I can sell that one! 

17 & 18 : '"aaa yay!! i missed your outfits!!!" / "can I just say love ur outfits! They're so cool and inspire me to draw my ocs with new outfits > o < and I love your cat too, please give him a big ol pat!"

Thank you!!!! more compliments posted just to show I appreciate them lol, even if I don’t publicly respond to every one~ And, the Boyes appreciate the pats.. here is them.. big babbeys... 

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hi! Can you tell us a little about the next update? I’m literally checking everyday to see if you posted.

Hey there! 

I suppose, since you didn’t specify a fic, that you mean in general? I posted that fluffy BruJay thing Tuesday night I’ll be posting a one-shot I’ve written as a birthday gift later today. 

I know I’ve been bad about the Thursday/Sunday posting schedule but I am still trying to post twice a week.

As for updates on current fics...

The next chapter of Therapy is mostly done and will go up sometime this upcoming week.

The next chapter of WAtGP is also pretty much complete but I’m holding off until I post a couple more one-shots that give insight into Nightwing’s and Deathstroke’s feelings about things. One of those one-shots is half done and will probably go up this week too (depending on work and my DCU Bang fic).

As for all my other stories, Therapy and WAtGP are so close to being finished, and I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed by all my wips, so I’m trying a new policy. Therapy and WAtGP are the priority, they each have two chapters left and I know exactly where they’re going. Opportunity Knocks also only has one chapter left and the ask that inspired it has been gathering dust in my drafts for months so I’m hoping to finish that before the month is over.

Once those are finished, I’ll be able to focus on completing some of the smaller ones (and on figuring out what the hell I want to do with Nightmares). 

When I’ve finished up a couple of the smaller ones, I’ll start on the Laid Bare verse, the sequel to Beautiful and Good, and the the next part of the Mutually Beneficial story (if my self control holds, that is... I’m itching to write this one so it may come sooner).

But when all this happens is kind of up in the air. I’m still writing one-shots for ideas that I love, my DCU Mini Bang fic is way bigger than I intended and the draft is due in the next few days so I’m rushing to get it done. I have a lot of work to do on the worst omegaverse to get ready for Omega Jason Week. JayTim MONTH is coming up and, while I’ve already accepted that I won’t be able to take the ambitious track and do something everyday, I still want to do a big chunk of it (I’m hoping it can help me get past this weird self-consciousness I have about writing Tim). I hit 400 followers recently and I’ve been putting off another celebratory prompt thing even though you guys deserve something (especially since I skipped 300) because I know it’s going to take up so much time that I don’t really have at the moment.

On top of all that, while I’m not worried about the JayDick Summer Exchange fic at all because I feel like my recipient wrote their prompts with me in mind, I still have to take time to write it out :D

And that’s my biggest problem really, is time. Because it’s not just my fics that take time and energy. It’s hard for me to just bang out headcanons. For every ask in my inbox that’s more complex than “what’s your favorite cereal” I have to mentally prep to answer, work out an answer, write the answer. I hit 300 followers right after I finished the last of the 200 followers prompt-a-thon and was too exhausted to do anything for it.

I feel bad when it takes forever but, as much as I wish this was my full time job, it isn’t and between asks, fics, responding to comments, events, work, my worryingly codependent family, and the little bit of a social life I have irl... I just occasionally have to take a day or two to veg with my dogs, you know?

My point is, I know I’ve been frustrating the last couple of months (I really missed my word count goal in May... by a lot, which means you got a lot less content than usual) and I’m so sorry. But I AM working on everything, trying to sort out solutions to the way my brain reacts to all these uncompleted works/unanswered asks, and trying to figure out a system of time management that works for me (which has absolutely never been a strength of mine).

Right now it’s the DCU Bang thing that’s stressing me out... I’m good with deadlines but not check in’s. I’m hoping after I’ve got the draft submitted (probably last minute on the 26th) that it will take a lot of the pressure off.

So I’m sorry and please bare with me <3

[thisisnotreallife]

Additive Identity

A job is not an identity, but it can start to feel like one if you aren’t careful about it.

In May, I quit my job teaching full-time at Washington State University and directing the Writing Center there. I didn’t so much as quit, I guess, as I did just never sign my annual renewal contract, deciding instead with Patrick to launch myself, himself, our cat, and all of our stuff across the country to Nashville, Tennessee without a job lined up—but with a sense of relief from escaping the nuclear waste zone of Richland, Washington and the mess of higher education, even if only momentarily.

Because we live in capitalism, I need a job, though, and so I decide I cannot be above throwing my name in the hat when a couple of tenure-track jobs come available at Nashville area community colleges. In the weeks and months since I applied, I haven’t been offered full-time work, but both colleges have reached out to offer adjuncting positions.  

Five hundred fifty dollars per credit for semester-long courses. No benefits or guarantees.

Three quarters of the nation’s college educator population is contingent labor. Part-time adjunct instructors are most often paid per credit, at rates that are disproportionately low compared to the compensation of full-time faculty. A full course load may be four courses each term, but an adjunct teaching three courses might make one-quarter the salary of a full-time faculty member. While tuition rises, more and more of the teaching duties are shopped out to contract workers who want desperately to teach, but who receive low pay and no benefits, and who often drive from one college to the next in a city to stitch together a $35,000 income. Many find out the next semester’s course load the day before or the day of the beginning of term, and if enrollment is low, there may not even be courses available. Post-graduate school, I spent four years adjunct teaching alongside full-time administrative support work, often grading student papers online during my lunch breaks and sending off covert applications for full-time teaching positions from company computers, hoping for a break.

To both adjuncting offers I receive when I arrive in Nashville, I impolitely decline. To the college that flew me out before our move for a finalist interview and campus visit and then neglected to follow up or respond to my inquiries, I send unsolicited student evaluations from the last several years.

You have made a mistake, I think I’m aiming to say—but now I’m not sure if I was saying it to the hiring committee or to myself.

In high school, I knew I wanted to be an English teacher, but it wasn’t until college that I decided I’d prefer post-secondary education to K-12. I liked the idea of not having to be in one spot for a seven-hour day. I liked the idea of having an office where most of your work got done, not a classroom full of desperately developing children for an entire day.

When I finally land a full-time teaching job, it is in a town of 16,000 people in a corner of Oregon that shows up as one of the darkest areas on a light pollution map of the contiguous United States. Friends from my graduate school cohort express surprise and disbelief not only that full-time teaching jobs exist, but that I managed to find one. I begin teaching. I serve on committees. I am asked to take on responsibilities by administrators who make double, triple, quadruple what I make. I sit in my office with my students as they talk, laugh, cry, tell me about their mental health concerns, drug abuse, gender identity issues. I stop writing. I stop baking bread. I write comments on student papers. Grade.

At the end of each semester, I breathe until I am ready to begin again.

The first place in Nashville to offer me a job is around the corner from our house, at a local favorite called Mike’s Ice Cream. I am told I will be making ice cream and eventually baking for the coffee shop connected to the ice cream factory. A half hour before my interview there, I am called by the Department Chair of the local community college where I was invited for the campus visit earlier that spring. She offers me an adjuncting opportunity, to “get my foot in the door” in the higher ed world of Tennessee. I am taken off guard and engage in pleasant conversation with her before promising to follow up via email, which I do—though not in the way either of us had expected.

At Mike’s Ice Cream, I am not making ice cream so much as I am doing manual labor: I follow recipe instructions to pour specific amounts of factory-made ingredients overhead into a machine from which I extract ice cream into boxes that I have made myself; I push 400-lb. racks of ice cream into freezers where it is possible to get stuck and die within 17 minutes; I stop counting OSHA violations by the end of my first shift.

I can’t keep up with the health code violations, either—fruit flies from the mildewy, open drain below the wash-rinse-sanitize sinks and from the laundry basket of rags used to mop up watered down ice cream mix swirl around my head while I extract, and one lands on the spatula I use to coax the frozen ice cream into the corners of the boxes. I watch a co-worker—another new hire, like me—toss an Oreo that fell on the floor over a container of cookies, in which it lands. He picks it out with his bare hands and scoops the Oreos he thinks it touched out with a measuring cup. Another co-worker, the soon-to-be college senior who is training us, refuses to wear a hairnet under her baseball cap and pivots from using her phone to food prep without washing her hands.

I last forty hours in total and make 325 gallons of ice cream that are distributed throughout the city of Nashville with my initials on them. I do not taste any of the flavors while I am there.

On my last day, I sustain a mild concussion when I slip on water in the kitchen and smack my face into a baker’s rack. I want to leave right away, when the lump on my cheekbone swells and turns a dark purple below the Band-Aid I have to put on over my broken skin. My head buzzes, but I finish out the shift and receive the following week’s schedule from my manager via email that evening.

I reply to tell him about the concussion, and that I cannot work until midnight on Monday night and then again at half past eight the next morning. He tells me he put a mat down where I slipped and that he’ll find someone to cover my Monday night shift, but when Tuesday morning comes around, I wake up at 6:00 and find that I’ve left my work shoes on the porch overnight during a hard rain.

When I send the email telling management at Mike’s that I won’t be coming back, I think of the student from several years ago who told me he didn’t have a draft of his essay because his dog ate it. I’m so sorry, but my shoes were wet.

We all have our limits.  

When we first moved to Nashville this May, I stacked the books from my office at WSU in the shed outside, on top of two filing cabinets full of assignment handouts and readings and writing samples. There is no room in our smaller house for them, and I expect I won’t need them in the fall, anyway. Our lease states that we use the shed at our own risk, mostly because it is not secure storage but also because it is apparently filled with spiders, who make themselves evident almost immediately, spinning webs between our rakes and tools and outdoor gear. It is a horrible, on-the-nose metaphor, but it is happening in real-time: the relics of my former, short-lived career gathering cobwebs in a dusty shed.

This September marks the first time since the year before kindergarten that I am unaffiliated with a school in some way, shape, or form. There is no back-to-school. There is no pre-term prep of syllabi and course materials. There is, of course, but I am not a part of it. I feel alienated from the routine set for me since my birth thirty-three years ago: a new year around the sun, a new year in school. But there are different ways to learn, I know, and different things to teach to the world, too.

“You are not your job,” my horoscope says. If my job is nothing, that means I am not nothing. If my job is not teaching, that means I am not not a teacher, too.  

[nikatyler]

No way, simmeronnie is doing replies again? :o It’s been a month, I know. It’s been hard, exams and all that. I’ve talked about that a lot. Now I’m in so much better place. I’ve read what I wrote in my diary a few months ago (February and March to be exact) and wow...just wow. If you compare me from now to me from those months, you wouldn’t even believe we’re the same person. Right now, I’m the happiest I’ve been in a while. Back then, I’m honestly surprised I didn’t give up. I was so tired of everything.

Onto something else. I thought I’d catch up on a lot of blogs now that my graduation is done, but actually, I got carried away reading a good book (and therefore I didn’t actually catch up on too many blogs). Guys, you all need to read Illuminae. I finished the trillogy today and man, it was so good. Don’t get intimidated by how big the books are, yesterday I read over 400 pages and I didn’t even know how. It’s just so good. Read it. Seriously. I hope you like a good plot twist because these books are full of them. It’ll leave you speechless.

I’m just excited I can read books that have nothing to do with exams again, okay? Tomorrow I’m starting...I’m not sure. Probably The Burning Maze by Rick Riordan. FINALLY.

Anyway, blog stuff. I thought I’d only do the latest replies since my activity feed was broken, but now I was able to scroll down a lot. I wasn’t paying attention and suddenly I was at comments from April. So yeah, that thing I screamed about this week, apparently it’s fixed itself. Though I’m still not sure if it shows all of the comments. Oh well. I worked with what I was able to get.

By the way, in these replies, I did not include the “congrats” comments when I said I got through my exams. But I saw you all, and honestly, thank you so much. I was thinking about this the other day, and I think one of the reasons why I made it through high school was simblr. This is my happy place. Most of the time.

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Oh no. OH NO. Guys I fried another one of my sims.”

ronnie pls be more careful you know how these things go

*looks at my own sunburnt arms* I won’t ever learn

starburstshores replied to your photoset “Nerine no that’s not the way”

Jesus can walk on water, Nerine can swim through land

she’s a Reverse Jesus

starburstshores replied to your photoset “Nerine: “Wakey wakey…” Regan: “Huh? Wha - Nerine? What are you doing...”

This is some Edward Cullen shit she’s pulling ��

Let’s be real, even with how Regan and Nerine’s story is going, it’s still a better love story than Twilight  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hold on, do people still say that?

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hi mum! What’s up?” Miracle: “Regan, you might want to sit...”

OMG WHAT"S HAPPENING OMG

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Regan: “Mum?” Miracle: “Yes sweetheart?” Regan: “He’s going to make...”

Yoo he better make it ����

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hi mum! What’s up?” Miracle: “Regan, you might want to sit...”

oh god no

I can’t explain how I felt writing this. I’m not too empathetic when it comes to other people (and it sucks), but when it comes to “ok how would my character feel in this scene”, I’m immediately in their shoes, and let me tell you, I actually cried, even though I knew damn well how it was going to end. But I also knew what was happening next, and that’s why I cried too. Writing is weird sometimes.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “Coming soon…”

Marie looks super pretty in this!!

Thank you. I forgot she was this pretty. I couldn’t believe that when I loaded her for the first time after all these months. I mean, in the regular legacy, I don’t even see her around anymore too much.

vintageplumbobs replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”

Eeeeeeeeeshk.

pxelatedtrash replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”

I stopped liking her when she would always shut Regan down but now I really don't like her and i hope beyond belief that Regan can get away.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”

Wow I didnt like her before I definitely don't like her now.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”

Ahem

Hmmm I had a feeling that thee was something wrong with their fast developing relationship

There indeed WAS something wrong with her. I hinted at it a few times, sometimes it was just a little thing that probably only I saw as foreshadowing, but it kept getting more and more obvious towards the end. And wow. Yeah. She really went that far.

Also, can I just say, I weirdly enjoyed seeing how at first, everyone was like “yaaaaas, mermaid girlfriend”, whereas now it’s more like “oh no. OH NO. STAY AWAY FROM OUR GIRL”.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”

Nerine is awful! Someone please save Regan!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”

EXPLAIN DIS NERINE!

fishingforsims replied to your photoset “Regan: “Because…because I love you. You’re right. You’re all that...”

My brain rn is just “!!!!!”

She just wants her. That’s her explanation. She doesn’t care about anything else, as long as her beloved human will stay right there in Isla Paradiso.

I’m just now thinking, how the hell did I go from the first story idea for Regan to this. In the original story, there were no creepy psycho mermaid girlfriends. There was...a lot of Bridgeport...some cheating...a lot of guilty feelings...more feelings towards Courtney...Felix didn’t end up with her in that storyline but there would be a love triangle with another person...and considering I’m not actually the biggest fan of love triangles, I as a writer am glad I somehow ended up with a psycho mermaid girlfriend story. It was way more interesting to figure out and write.

But if Regan could decide, I’m pretty sure she’d rather end up in a love triangle 😬

Let me tease you though: There’ll still be a lot of Bridgeport later.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Gwyneth Ellen Clare flirty | perfectionist | family oriented | neat |...”

Was it cliffhanger? Le gasp

Anyway I'm looking forward to see you BRP!

Oh I just saw the tagsXD Don't mind me I think I have to go to bed

Wait still a cliffhanger. Just not as big as I initially thought. Don't mind me��

Haha no worries, this happens to me all the time, I forget to read the tags or caption and then I’m like huh??? What’s happening?? :D But I’m glad you’re looking forward to the BPR, I’m happy to be finally posting it. I’m not sure if it’ll be just as fun as my NSB, but it certainly won’t be as sad as the current story. You guys deserve a break.

Oh, another teaser: Guess what you guys will get in my BPR? An idiot to yell at. Not Ross-level idiot, but still an idiot.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “Coming soon…”

*patiently waits*

It’s coming...very soon!

cloudberry-sims replied to your photoset “Nerine: “Now. You were supposed to move out of the houseboat by the...”

Oh that's evil Nerine...

‘Cause baby she’s a nightmare dressed like a daydream

I’m sorry, I can’t stop referencing Taylor Swift, that’s just who I am

melien replied to your photoset “Regan: “This place is heaven on Earth.” Nerine: “Wouldn’t it be great...”

So yeah this was the post where I kind of figured out something seems off... if I'm not mistaken there were also posts where George warns her but I didn't think much of them

One of the things I enjoy doing when I finish the first draft of something is going back and making hints. Tiny little pieces of foreshadowing. And then it grows and grows and gets more obvious. This was never going to end well. I think I already hinted at it when Regan was saying goodbye to her family before going to Isla Paradiso, though I’m not sure. But I think I left first little clues there.

melien replied to your photoset “Nerine: “I hate to be doing this, but it’s the only way. I’m sorry...”

I first saw pics, then the text... and thought wow damn can mermaids do this? But yeah I love where this is going. I like this kind of creepy

Yeah I had to help myself with Photoshop here, there would be no other way to make it clear that she enchanted/brainwashed her. But damn, it would be cool if something like that was actually in the game. Sea creatures like mermaids don’t always have to be nice. What about sirens from the old mythology? I mean, what they did was getting people killed.

sinfulwunders replied to your post “Today is my graduation day and I’m already almost crying even though I...”

My graduation was last month and I was balling my eyes out �� I understand how you feel

Ahh yes...I was in a car today and we were driving past my high school. I started thinking about it all again and I just can’t believe that just two months ago, we were still sitting there in a classroom, praying for it all to end. And now it’s over and it’s weird and I want to go back because somehow I miss it.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “George: “I’m worried about you. There’s something wrong. This isn’t...”

George take her away before it's too late!

He kinda...I don’t want to say he fucked up at this point, but if he hadn’t walked away, things could’ve really been different, huh?

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “George: “Regan, what the hell is going on?” Regan: “You wouldn’t...”

Girl you are definitely not feeling well and this isn't love:/

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “George: “I’m worried about you. There’s something wrong. This isn’t...”

Girl you do sound like zombie!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “You say that as if it was a bad thing. Get lost, George. I...”

Whaaaaaa?

There better be a wizard near you to un-zombie you, Regan!

That’s how it is with brainwashed people, isn’t it?

No, all jokes and dumb remarks aside, when I wrote Regan in this brainwashed state, it was so hard. Not that writing was hard, handling my feelings was hard. I knew she was hurting everyone and I had to keep going because I wanted to tell this story. Like I said, writing is weird sometimes.

Also, speaking of wizards...how convenient it is that her brother is one now? :D Which actually...I didn’t plan for him to become a wizard just to save her. I didn’t plan for him to befriend a fairy just to save her either. It just all sort of happened. Just like life, huh? Nothing is perfectly planned, you just have to play with whatever you have, and I was lucky this time.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Weeks had passed since my last meeting with George. Things got better....”

Yeah I wonder why? Maybe because they are worried about you, too? You never came and anything could happen to you!

She doesn’t care about that. Well, she does, but she doesn’t know that with this whole “your family is useless and I’m the only one who matters to you” haze Nerine put over her.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Regan: “Hey mum. How’s life?” Miracle: “What did you just say?” Regan:...”

Miracle, come and get 'er before it's too late!

She would. Honestly, I believe she would, if things weren’t already hard at home for her.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Miracle for everything she’s gone through? She was “unwanted” at school because she was half alien, she had to share a room with an awful bully at university, then when that hell was over, she became a mother to six children, and now this...when I think of all that has happened, I realize how strong she actually is, because none of this made her give up.

I’ve had so many issues with her story, but looking at her from this perspective, maybe I shouldn’t have.

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”

Ugh your girlfriend doesn't want you. She wants to control you. There's a big difference.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”

Sure your girlfriend WANTS it not YOU!

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK AND HOPE REGAN IS ONE OF THEM

I shouldn’t joke about these things but...it’s how I cope

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Will: “Sorry I left you waiting. I was with my mum.” Roan: “That’s...”

Nerine happened, Roan

Pretty much

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Will: “What do you mean?” Roan: “Most mermaids - or so I’ve heard from...”

IM SO GLAD WILL AND ROAN ARE THE ONES TBAT ARE GONNA GO RESCUE HER AAAAAA

I was so happy when I figured that out too?? Honestly I thought Will and Roan were going to have the least interesting story but then they prove me wrong and uhhh

I love them so much??

melien replied to your photoset “Miracle: “Regan - he was asking about you. He was looking forward to...”

Poor Regan, I believe she's strong enough to get out of this mind funk... or someone cares about her enough to save her

It’ll all be revealed soon...

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Will: “What do you mean?” Roan: “Most mermaids - or so I’ve heard from...”

Omg

OMG

I actually really like when supernatural creatures have their let's call them quirks which define their difference to humans! That's really really cool!

Actually, me too, even when it means bad things for the main characters!

[stolligaseptember]

Sorry if I'm bothering you, but I just want to ask: how accurate do you think Matpat's theory on Article 13 is? A lot of people have been panicking about it (including me), but now that I've seen your posts on the subject, I'm really starting to doubt if there is anything to be afraid of. It's just hard to focus on looking for facts when the entire website is panicking, so I hope you can kind of clear this up for me (and a lot of others). Again, I hope I'm not bothering you! Have a nice day!

It’s no bother at all! I said I was here to answer all of your questions, so that’s what I’m going to do!!

But. Oh god. This whole mess started with a YouTube video, so I guess it was only inevitable that it would finally circle back to another one.

Okay so. I’ll be honest, it took me about 3 hours to get through this video. 18, if you count the fact that I started it before I went to bed last night. And like. He’s not wrong about a lot of things. But he’s not a lawyer, or a law-maker. And he’s definitely not a European one. Which you kind of need to be to understand what the hell is going on here.

He’s just misinterpreting a lot of things. And he’s misunderstanding how the entire EU-law system, and Europe's law tradition in general, works. Which, like, he’s an American, and not even an American lawyer, so no one can really blame him for that. But what frustrates me, and what actually makes me really fucking angry, is that he’s somehow claiming that he does understand this and that he somehow holds the authority to explain it to others. Which he clearly doesn’t.

So okay. What is going on in MatPat’s video. A lot of shit.

What first struck me is that he misses the bots. Like, his entire fear mongering tactic is based in this idea that all media platform would have to develop content ID bots. And that would indeed be a bad thing. But what he forgets to mention is that the bots have been removed from the new draft text. The draft that he, by the way, quotes himself. So I don’t know if he forgot to read the entire article, of if he just forgot to mention it. That’s very unclear.

But what really struck my nerves, and what made me so upset that I actually couldn’t fall asleep last night, was that he claims that the term “good faith” is somehow too vague and is because of that bad legal writing. And I’m not going to lie, that got my goat.

“Good faith” is like the least undefined term within all of European law doctrine. It’s about the most important principle we have. Bona fide, anyone? YEAH. That’s good faith. Trust me when I say that all lawyers, and everyone that has even gotten close to working with rights, know what “good faith” means. God, we have over 400 000 books and articles on “good faith” just in my uni library. “Good faith” is so far from an undefined term.

And no, “good faith” doesn’t somehow mean that copyright holders will have the final say in what will and won’t constitute as a copyright infringement. What “good faith” means, very simply put, is that you have to have trust in each others good faith while dealing with each other. You must be able to trust that the copyright holder is indeed the copyright holder, and that the media platform is indeed able to fulfill the obligations that’s put on them. When the directive says that they should cooperate in good faith, it means that they must cooperate in a way that the legal barrier for good faith is reached. I get that this is all sounding very weird, but that is kind of what you have lawyers for. We’re supposed to have read those 400 000 and more books to be able to conclude if something has been conducted in good faith or not. But no, this writing does not in any way open up for an arbitrary interpretation of copyright law. It does make things a lot more legal-technical, but that’s the way copyright law is looking right now.

And then. I don’t know what happens next honestly. He somehow manages to connect the “good faith” requirement and the conclusion that content ID bots will somehow stop content from being uploaded??? That’s a mental jump that I really can’t follow, but okay. 

First of all, because the bots are no longer on the table. Second of all, because dealing in good faith has nothing to do with the bots. But if we forget all about the bots altogether, good faith will still never give copyright holders the right to file unfounded copyright infringement claims. Either something is copyright infringement, or it isn’t, and the copyright holders and media platforms should cooperate in good faith to make sure that copyright infringement doesn’t happen, and you always have the legal framework in the back to make sure that unfounded claims of copyright infringement doesn’t happen, and that the requirement of good faith is met.

And this is complicated, I get that, but that’s what I’ve been trying to say all along. Copyright law is weird and complicated as fuck.

He also can’t make up his mind if content ID recognition is a good or bad thing. Like first he says that if they had kept the bots in the text (and that’s where he says that the bots have been removed from the text, but he doesn’t clarify that further) then everything would have been a-okay, but then like 5 minutes later he says that the content ID (which!! Isn’t even in question anymore!!!!!!!) is the work of the devil. And I’m sorry, but I’m on a bit of a personal vendetta against YouTube right now, and this is exactly the stance that YouTube themselves have taken. They’re going “oh, article 13 is literally hell brought to life!!!!” but then in the next breath they go “BUT BOTS ARE A GOOD IDEA”, and I’m getting whiplash just trying to keep up with them. It’s contradictory as hell, and I can’t even figure out what people are really worried about or not these days.

I think a lot of people are just screaming because they want to scream, but that’s another story.

He also says that the directive will be “implemented by the end of this year” which is just an outright lie. Even if you’re generous and stretch that to the end of 2019, it’s still an outright lie. The next round of votes happens in early 2019, and EU bureaucracy is a literal hellscape, so that’s just not happening.

He also compares this to GDPR, but I’ve already explained why can’t do that. Regulations and directives are completely different legal documents, and unlike regulations, directives have to be actually implemented into each member state’s national law system. And you always have an implementing period of at least 2 years for this. But like, that’s the lower bar. You can push the high bar pretty goddamn far. It’s not unusual to see member states take up to 5-6 years to implement directives, and the commission can’t really do anything about it, as long as the member state can prove that they’re working on it.

Like, I don’t remember just what it was we were supposed to regulate, but I remember we studied this one directive that Sweden took like 7, if not 8 years to implement. And we where honest to god just stalling, because we didn’t really want to regulate what the directive said that we should regulate, and we needed the time to find a way to work our way around it. So when the commission came knocking to check if we had implemented the goddamn directive yet, our government was all like “oh no, you see, this is very foreign to our law system, and we have a very hard time seeing where it could fit in, but look at all these reports we’re writing and at all these experts we’ve hired to try and work it out”, and as soon as the commission had left again, seeing how we were at least giving the impression of trying to solve it, they were all like “OKAY BACK TO STALLING”. So depending on your member state’s outlook on this directive, there’s really no telling on how long it will take before it’s implemented.

The claim that the European copyright has a narrower definition of “fair use” is also just an outright lie. This is the exceptions and limitations to copyright that the InfoSec directive allows;

(a) use for the sole purpose of illustration for teaching or scientific research, as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, unless this turns out to be impossible and to the extent justified by the non-commercial purpose to be achieved;

(b) uses, for the benefit of people with a disability, which are directly related to the disability and of a non-commercial nature, to the extent required by the specific disability;

© reproduction by the press, communication to the public or making available of published articles on current economic, political or religious topics or of broadcast works or other subject-matter of the same character, in cases where such use is not expressly reserved, and as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, or use of works or other subject-matter in connection with the reporting of current events, to the extent justified by the informatory purpose and as long as the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, unless this turns out to be impossible;

(d) quotations for purposes such as criticism or review, provided that they relate to a work or other subject-matter which has already been lawfully made available to the public, that, unless this turns out to be impossible, the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, and that their use is in accordance with fair practice, and to the extent required by the specific purpose;

(e) use for the purposes of public security or to ensure the proper performance or reporting of administrative, parliamentary or judicial proceedings;

(f) use of political speeches as well as extracts of public lectures or similar works or subject-matter to the extent justified by the informatory purpose and provided that the source, including the author’s name, is indicated, except where this turns out to be impossible;

(g) use during religious celebrations or official celebrations organised by a public authority;

(h) use of works, such as works of architecture or sculpture, made to be located permanently in public places;

(i) incidental inclusion of a work or other subject-matter in other material;

(j) use for the purpose of advertising the public exhibition or sale of artistic works, to the extent necessary to promote the event, excluding any other commercial use;

(k) use for the purpose of caricature, parody or pastiche;

(l) use in connection with the demonstration or repair of equipment;

(m) use of an artistic work in the form of a building or a drawing or plan of a building for the purposes of reconstructing the building;

(n) use by communication or making available, for the purpose of research or private study, to individual members of the public by dedicated terminals on the premises of establishments referred to in paragraph 2© of works and other subject-matter not subject to purchase or licensing terms which are contained in their collections;

(o) use in certain other cases of minor importance where exceptions or limitations already exist under national law, provided that they only concern analogue uses and do not affect the free circulation of goods and services within the Community, without prejudice to the other exceptions and limitations contained in this Article.

That’s way more than the few exceptions that MatPat lists. And he’s also completely incorrect in European copyright law not somehow being flexible? Like, we’re not idiots, c’mon.

EU law isn’t stagnant; they’re living instruments, and we always interpret them in the light of the contemporary time. This is a skill all European lawyers are mercilessly trained in. EU law documents are worded “vaguely” and openly because we need the space to be able to make different interpretations depending on the situation. Like, the claim that point k, that lists caricatures, parodies and pastiches is somehow narrow? No?? This is where memes, and all other forms of parodies and caricatures and pastiches falls in. But just because you call something a meme doesn’t mean that it can’t be copyright infringement. You still have to make an evaluation of the actual situation. And that’s where lawyers and judges in every single member state come in; lawyers and judges who have been trained in both copyright law and EU law, and who knows how to interpret both the national law and the directive.

Because, once again, this isn’t aiming at making Europe into one coherent law system. It’s aiming at harmonizing the European law systems, but at the end of the day, it’s still always up to each and every member state of how they want to implement the directive.

Then there was the safe harbor issue. In this he actually is correct. The very aim of article 13 is to remove the safe harbor and to put a share of the responsibility of the copyright infringement on the media platform. Like, that’s the entire idea behind the article. So, once again, if you think that this is a bad idea, then yeah, go ahead and keep fighting article 13. And I’m not here to get political, but just why is the idea of removing the safe harbor such an egregiously bad idea? You as an individual is not going to be affected by it. It’s these big, multi-billion companies that will have to pay content creators their fair share of illegal copyright infringement. And why is that bad for you? Just food for thought.

And as usual, I have no idea how understandable this whole mess is, so don’t be afraid to ask me follow up questions, or anything else that you’re wondering over, and I’ll try to answer as best as I can!

[chatpeach]

Apartment AU Chapter 7: You Could Call It Luck

Hello! I don’t remember my usual format for posting fics on here so please bear with me. Anyways this is that chapter I had sitting in my drafts forever and couldn’t bring myself to finish it or post it because a. motivation is broken and b. I’m a full time student and it be like that. It’s not 100% my favorite writing but please enjoy! 

Read it on AO3: Here!

Adrien was pretty much entirely convinced he was going to get fired, no matter whose son he was. The morning had played out terribly; he was stumbling over the other model, posing unnaturally, and despite his best efforts, his smile looked more like a grimace. The director of the shoot was furious, to say the least. Despite how many times he told Adrien to take a break and clear his head, Adrien continued to make mistakes he hadn’t made since he was a teen.

He couldn’t stop thinking about Marinette.

He couldn’t figure out why he was so hung up on what had happened the night before. Sure, maybe it seemed like she could potentially be using him to get to his father, her being a designer and all, but there were people who had done much worse. Men and women alike who had tried to get close to him to advance their modeling careers, and people who had tried to sabotage him. He had even had anonymous death-threats sent to him and his father.

Thinking back, he was pretty sure none of them had bothered him as much as this.

At his break for lunch, he took the opportunity to text Chloé back after she had sent him an incomprehensible drunk text that night. It wasn’t unusual, and often times he would reply to them during the day when his hangover had subsided.

1:43AM Chloé: drieen this guy i wnet home with was terible just liek terribleeee god how lame

1:43AM Chloé: thtat the last time i go home with a MAN

1:44AM Chloé: its onyl ladies from here on out babeye!!!!!!!

12:10PM Adrien: uh Chlo, i have no idea what any of these mean

12:10PM Adrien: “babeye” ?

12:12PM: Chloé: i don’t know what you mean, those are TOTALLY readable

12:12PM Chloé: the guy i went home with last night was a huge bore and i’m swearing off men forever, duh

12:13PM Adrien: ooooh okay yeah that tracks

12:13PM Chloé: anyways how is work? i’m suffocating over here, i have like 400 meetings in the next 2 hours

12:14PM Adrien: uh it’s not great honestly, i’m totally out of my mind here

12:14PM Chloé: did you drink too much last night? adrikins i told you to stay away from tequila

12:16PM Adrien: no, i just have something on my mind

12:16PM Adrien: or, i guess, someone on my mind

Adrien watched the small bubbled that indicated she was writing continuously disappear and reappear on the screen as Chloé typed out and deleted her messages at a rapid rate.

12:18PM Chloé: WHAT? WHO? TELL ME WHO THEY ARE

12:18PM Chloé: ADRIEN AGRESTE YOU TELL ME RIGHT NOW

12:18PM Chloé: is it someone i know?

12:19PM Adrien: she’s just someone in my building, and it’s not like that

12:19PM Adrien: i’m pretty sure i made a huge mistake last night and freaked out at her without giving her a chance to explain

12:19PM Adrien: and now i’m pretty sure she’s pissed at me

12:20PM Adrien: pls help :(

12:20PM Chloé: omg

12:20PM Chloé: i like wouldn’t even stress about it, just like say you’re sorry and flirt with her or something

12:21PM Chloé: you know, like really turn on the charm

12:22PM Chloé: like idk buy her something with diamonds in it or something, poor girls love diamonds, like you can even have some of the ones i’m giving away (they’re so last year but she probably wouldn’t be able to tell)

12:23PM Chloé: omg hold that thought i’ve got to go, they need me in this meeting! let’s meet up later for dinner! ciao sweetie xoxoxo

Adrien stared at his phone for a while before signing and slipping it into his bag. Chloé had the best intentions (usually), but she wasn’t great with advice. You know who would give really great advice in this situation, he asked himself. Marinette. He shuffled back to the studio and prepared for another four hours of botched photo shoots. His hatred of the work he did only increased with the number of mistakes he made, and he almost wished they would fire him.

What seemed like an eternity passed, and finally Adrien was able to leave work. He met up with Chloé at their usual place, a high-end club that, thankfully, also had a quiet bar area where the two could chat. Chloé was already sitting at their usual table when he arrived, tapping away at her phone and sipping a gin and tonic.

“Hey Chlo, who ya textin?” He gave her a quick peck before sliding onto the stool across from her.

“I was completely serious when I said I was swearing off men, Adrien. I’m texting this cute girl I met at one of my events a little while ago.” She shot him a smug look and continued texting. “I’m never even looking at another man ever again,” she huffed. “Except you, of course, but we all know you’re off limits.” She said in off limits a breathy voice, raising her eyebrows. “It would be gross to even think about it.”

Adrien chuckled. “You’re right, that would be gross. Even though you were so in love with me when we were 14,” He snickered.

Chloé practically shrieked. “Ugh! I told you never to talk about that again! How embarrassing,” She shook her head. “I was just convinced I liked you because I didn’t know any better. Now I know that I’m way out of your league.”

Adrien laughed again. “Alright, alright, you make a fair point. You’re totally out of my league,” he said, humoring her. The playful tone of his voice was not convincing, but Chloé chose to drop the subject altogether.

“So, who is this mysterious person you’re having trouble with? What could you have done to piss her off so badly?” Chloé put down her phone on the table for the first time since he had arrived and looked at him intently.

“Ah well... you know how everyone is always trying to get close to me so they can meet my dad or get some kind of modeling gig, whatever it is really. Well... I kind of accused her of trying to do the same thing, which now that I think about it, I really doubt she was. She’s a designer, and I saw a flyer for my dad’s competition on her desk, so I sort of freaked out?” Adrien shrugged, looking embarrassed.  “I had also been drinking, which didn’t help. I mean, when I told her who I was she seemed genuinely surprised that it was me, but seeing the flyer made me immediately assume she had the worst intentions for being my friend. You know what I mean?” He was sure Chloé knew exactly what he meant. She was staring at him with a look that was practically dripping with sympathy.

“I know it’s hard sometimes to let people in because we’re afraid they want to use our status, but if she didn’t even know who you were before, maybe it was a misunderstanding? I don’t know anything about the girl and frankly I don’t like the idea of you hanging out with a designer,” Chloé made a face. “But I think if it’s really bothering you, you should ask her what her side of the story is first, and then you can talk it out.”

Adrien stared at Chloé. “Chlo that’s actually... Really solid advice, thank you.”

She gave him a smug look and shrugged her shoulders. “What can I say, I’ve matured a lot since we were kids. It’s you that needs to grow up now,” she pointed at him with a mocking tone, but the look on her face was one of brutal honesty.

Adrien knew this was true, of course. Chloé had, apart from her party habits, matured far more than he had since they were teens. He had always considered himself a pretty level-headed kid, and only realized later that there was so much more bubbling beneath the surface of his feeble good-boy model persona than he knew. He was angry, and he was bitter, and he was going to have to change that.

——————

It was a little past midnight when Adrien finally made his way back to the apartment building. He was glad that, instead of dancing and drinking at the club like they usually did, he and Chloé had stayed up late at her house, marathoning movies. It was just as they had done as kids, except instead of the rare soda their parents would allow them, they sipped on wine.

The landlord was long asleep when he walked through the lobby. He climbed the stairs to the apartment building quietly, careful not to disturb his neighbors. Most nights he would stumble up the stairs in a stupor after partying without worrying about how loud he was being, but tonight any of the wine he had had at Chloé’s was well out of his system. He felt strangely nervous tonight, being back in the building. It wasn’t because Marinette lived there, although he was nervous to see her again. It was an anxiety he couldn’t quite put his finger on—something just didn’t feel right, and he couldn’t tell if it was his sobriety that was the cause of his discomfort, or something amiss in the building.

He was so deep in thought as he walked up the stairs that he almost passed the second floor without noticing that the door to apartment 204 was slightly ajar.

Marinette’s apartment.

That’s strange, he thought, slowly making his way closer to her door. This… isn’t right. She’s not the type of person that would leave her apartment door wide open.

He felt the hair on the back of his neck raise as he heard shuffling coming from beyond the door. A knot formed in his stomach as he carefully pushed the door open as quietly as he could. It was completely dark inside, and the muffled shuffling continued, now accompanied by voices coming from somewhere further back in the small apartment.

A sharp scream pierced through the darkness.

Adrien rushed in.

—————

Marinette had come home earlier after some light errands. She had forgotten, in her giddiness earlier that day, to pick up some supplies for one of her latest projects. It was one of her best pieces, really—a soft, delicate dress made of some of the most difficult material she had ever worked with. She was hand-stitching the beading into the top of it, through shear, light fabric, and had the bottom flow out and behind the legs, nearly resembling the tail of a jellyfish.

It was almost ten now, and she planned to pull an all-nighter to finish the dress so she could show it to the design team she was working with the next day. Humming softly, she made her way up the stairs to the second floor, thankful to finally be back at the apartment. She balanced her bag of materials in one hand as she fumbled with her keys. When she went to unlock the door, however, she noticed something odd. There were strange scratches around the keyhole, ones she didn’t think were there before. She inspected them for a moment, wondering if she had accidentally scratched the door, or if Adrien trying to get into her apartment that night did the damage. Putting the thought aside, she opened the door and stepped into her dark apartment, leaving it ajar behind her.

“Tikki! I’m home! Here, pretty kitty!” She said loudly into her apartment as she flicked on the light to the entryway and placed her purse in the closet. She passed the bathroom door and clicked on the light in the living room. Panic rose in her chest.

There was only silence.

The fact that Tikki didn’t come when she came through the door signaled to Marinette that something was very wrong. She always came to her, mewling enthusiastically at the return of her dear owner. She needed to leave, she needed to go find help. There was someone in her apartment.

Slowly, Marinette backed up, careful not to make any sounds. Her eyes darted around her small apartment: bedroom light is off, kitchen light is off, no one is in the living room.

The bathroom.

Marinette whipped around just in time to see the face of her assailant as he knocked her unconscious.

…

Marinette woke up in the dark. She was still in her own apartment, on her own bed, with all of the lights turned out. At first she thought she had dreamed being knocked unconscious, but as she awoke she realized that her mouth was taped shut and her hands were tied behind her back. She laid still for a moment, assessing the situation. She had been knocked unconscious, and now she was being held captive in her own apartment. Panic gripped her and she thrashed about in the bedding, crying and struggling to break free. She looked around frantically in dark for anything that could cut her free. If only I really did keep a knife under my pillow, she thought absently.

She heard a sound in the darkness that made her freeze.

“Shhh, Marinette. Struggling won’t help you, sweetheart,” the voice cut through the dark and sent chills through her spine. A figure cloaked in shadows stood in the corner of her bedroom. “I’ve been watching you for some time now, and I know no-one will come to help you at this hour,” The figure cooed.

Marinette tried to speak, but though the tape came strangled noises instead.

“The baker’s daughter, so sweet and innocent. It was love at first sight. The first time I stepped through those doors I knew instantly that you had to be mine.” The figure came closer, stepping into a small patch of moonlight that came through her bedroom window. “But you never even saw me, not even when I was standing directly in front of you.”

Marinette caught a look at the figure’s face in the moonlight. He was vaguely familiar as a regular at the bakery, but she had never had more than a couple casual conversations with him about the pastries or the weather. He was right—she had never noticed him. He was unassuming, and out of the hundreds of people that had passed through her parents’ bakery while she worked there, she hardly even remembered him.

She would now.

He stooped next to her, clicking on the light at her beside. The sudden brightness made Marinette flinch. He grabbed her by the shoulders and, against her struggling and crying, sat her upright on the bed.

Caressing her face with the back of his hand, his bland face cracked open wide with an eerie smile.

“You are so beautiful up close,” he cooed. “When you stopped coming in as often, I grew tired of waiting for you. I didn’t know how to live without seeing your face every day. You broke my heart.”

He stood up. “I know you’ll come to love me too, Marinette. I’ll do anything for you, anything you would like. I’ll take care of you as soon as you agree to come with me.” He gave her a sympathetic look. “Those bindings aren’t very comfortable, are they? It hurts me to see you like this.” He thought for a moment.

“If you promise not to scream, I’ll take the tape off you mouth? Let’s have a talk.” As he said this, he pulled a knife out from behind his back and held it firmly in his hand.

Marinette had been scared before, but at the sight of the knife she recoiled, shaking violently. Tears streamed down her face as a million thoughts raced through her mind. She thought about Ayla and Nino and how she needed to design the clothes for their wedding. She thought about the projects she hadn’t done yet. She thought about all of her friends, scattered about Paris now, years after school had finished. She thought about her parents, just down the street, asleep in their beds.

Among all of these thoughts came a quiet plea for help. Please, she thought. Please, anyone. Please save me. She thought of him.

In an inexplicable instant, she knew that he would come. There was no denying the feeling in her gut that he was nearby, that he was going to come by her apartment, maybe to apologize, or maybe just to pass by on his way to his own apartment. Whatever the reason, she knew; you could call it fate,

You could call it luck.

She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. He’ll trust me if I seem calm, he’ll trust me if I comply. She nodded, and the tape came off.

Adrien, please.

She screamed.

It all happened so fast. Her bedroom door slammed open, revealing a disheveled Adrien, green eyes sharp with anger.

He lunged at the intruder, grabbing his wrist and pushing him against the wall. The man struggled out of his grasp and leapt forward at Marinette, who was sitting stunned on the bed. Adrien quickly grabbed the man from behind, and Marinette could have sworn his eyes were glowing a piercing green. Spinning him around and slamming him into the bureau across from her bed, glass bottles were sent crashing to the floor. He snarled into the mans face like a wild animal.

“Don’t you dare,” He panted, his voice strained and rough with anger. “Touch her.”

The man panicked, slashing out wildly in front of him, but Adrien was too quick. A sharp pain shot through his arm as he felt the knife graze him, but the adrenaline in his system won out, and he moved with trained speed.

Grabbing the arm he had just tried to strike him with, Adrien pulled it behind the man’s back and, and sweeping him off his feet, he slammed him face down on the ground. Grabbing the closest blunt object he could find, Adrien hit him across the back of the head, hard enough to knock him out but not hard enough to to any serious damage. He scrambled around the room, searching for something to tie him up with, eyes settling on a phone charger thrown carelessly on Marinette’s bureau. After making sure he was tied up securely, Adrien’s full attention was on Marinette.

He rushed over to her, panic and concern written across his face. Using the knife, he freed Marinette’s hands and helped her remove the tape from her mouth. “Are you hurt?” He asked, looked her over several times.

At first she seemed paralyzed, sitting stiff and dazed, blue eyes wide and wet. She looked at him, searching his face for a moment. He saved my life, she thought numbly. She realized that he was shaking.

All at once feeling returned to her, and she crumpled into him, sobs wracking her body.

“I w-was so stupid!” She sobbed. “My door!” Was all she could say.

“Shh shh, it’s okay now Marinette.” He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. “I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier.”

Marinette looked up at him, tears still dripping down her face. “You shouldn’t be apologizing, stupid alley cat. You came at just the right time.” She tried to smile, but it quickly turned into a grimace. “I thought I was going to die. I really…” She trailed off. “Thank you, Adrien.”

It was his turn to cry. Tears welled up in his eyes as he looked down at her, and he pulled her in close once again. His voice cracked as he spoke.

“I was so worried about you, the minute I saw your door open I knew something was wrong,” he said, his voice muffled by her hair. “I’m so sorry about getting angry at you, about the thing with the flyer. I didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself, and I said all of those things…” Adrien hugged her tighter.

“I know you didn’t mean it Adrien, I know,” She said, reaching up and stroking the hair out of his face. “We can talk about this, but first, we should really call the police.” She gave a half-hearted chuckle, still shaking with fear.

[goodguidanceptc]

Ironman New Zealand Race Report  March 2, 2019

Welcome masochists and insomniacs. When people ask me about my races, I usually try to deliver a balance of facts (split times, data, total race time) and feelings (mind & body perceptions, key moments) in an entertaining yet succinct report. As usual, that often means STRONG LANGUAGE. Here goes:

Prologue:

A few weeks prior to the trip, I learned that I’d been selected for the “Ironman New Zealand Experience,” an online contest, administered with typical Kiwi approach by the local council. Read: relaxed, with ZERO Ironman lawyers involved. Six men and six women were selected--based on online posts--to learn a haka, perform at the athlete dinner and attend an after-race luncheon that included a presentation and performance of Maori history and traditions. 

I suspect my "pick me! pick me!” post got me plucked from a small applicant pool. Supporting evidence: of the twelve selected, two others were my training buddies from Chicago, Christine B. and Bernie Mc. SIDE NOTE: Each winner was allowed one additional guest at the luncheon--so a very special thanks to Christine for graciously counting my wife as her guest which meant I had both my wife and son at the luncheon.

Haka is Maori for “breathe fire.” Historically, hakas were performed by Maori warriors prior to battle. These days they are performed ceremonially to celebrate major milestones (marriage, retirement), honor important guests or--perhaps most notably--to intimidate opponents at athletic events (here’s a link). Outside of New Zealand, the most famous and awe-inspiring hakas are performed my the Maori All-Blacks National Rugby team prior to each match. 

I learned that there are hundreds of haka versions, each with its own inherent weight baked into the story it’s presenting. Although it was very different than the aggressive, male-only, pre-battle version the All-Blacks perform, I personally felt a tremendous honor and reverence for the one we learned.

The haka preserves indigenous culture, energetically injects traditional language into a modern forum, gathers and channels group energy by seamlessly melding ritual gesture and movement with raw emotion. It all adds up to a sum greater than it’s parts that’s simultaneously respectful and rebellious. Taken as a whole, the haka is something like how the Incredible Hulk would dance if the Incredible Hulk danced.

All of which is just to say that before I even started the race, I’d already experienced that tremendous joy that comes with receiving an unexpectedly perfect gift. IMNZ was already a success before the race even started. Now, let’s get back to facts...

Total race time = 11:33

Not a PR, but a mature result. “Mature?” you may be wondering, “Really?” Granted, few people would describe anything I do as mature, so perhaps a better word is un-deluded. Why? Because plantar fasciitis made for a “No-Run November” (all long runs performed in a pool), I hadn’t done enough resistance training, and winter holidays not only make it impossible to train, they make it nearly impossible to fuel properly. 

In his book, Elite Minds, Dr. Stanley Beecham suggests giving yourself a W when you trained your best and an L if you didn’t. My record for this training sequence (Nov-Feb) was 89-20-11. ( I gave myself T for Ties on days when training went right but something else went bad...usually diet.) In other words, a respectable-but-not-stellar W average (.741) earned a respectable-but-not-stellar result.

But still, the haka was awesome.

Pre-Race

Slept well. Ate well. No mechanical issues. Huddled briefly with most of the training buddies and Iron sherpas prior to warming up properly in the water.

Swim (1:06 total swim time)

Clear sighting, aggressive line, good tactics (drafted when possible), and even got some help from the current towards the end. That said, the two turn buoys at the far end were both a raucous scrum. First time I ever took a hard shot to the lip. My best swim ever. 

T1 (7:49)

"T1 is a 400 meter run from the swim out...” My ass. If that’s 400 meters, I’m Leslie Jones from SNL. Plus, AFTER the “400 meters,” a winding grass staircase comparable to any third-floor-walk-up or Wisconsin helix--easily another +50 meters at an +8% grade.

Once I did get up Mount Metric Bullshit, I moved right along. Sprayed on some sunscreen, stuffed a plastic bag under the regular bike jersey with some light gloves (in case it was nippy for the first hour), shoes on in the tent. Go.

Bike (5:38, technically a bike PR)

Two loops. Windy? A tad. The outbound tailwind was so strong, I struggled to maintain target watts. Get that? I didn’t have to pedal as hard as I’d trained to because I was easily traveling +20 mph on flat sections. Ditched the plastic bag and gloves at the first aid station because it was sunny and mild and I was feeling really great. Of course, logic dictates that inbound would be a shitstorm. Which it was. Oy. Mixed with some crosswinds too just in case you, oh I dunno...tried to pee on the bike and took too long...or wanted to take in some nutrition. Nasty. I caught myself using a bastardized mantra from IMAZ, “Frontside fast side, backside strong side” which morphed into “Out bound, throw down; In bound, get down.” whenever I was tempted to chase or draft.

A word on drafting: it’s illegal in Ironman races. BUT! By slipping into the draft zone of somebody passing faster than you are passing then letting them go, you can save energy and still stay within the letter and spirit of the rule. That said, 12 meters = 6ish bike lengths so don’t be the fucko that lingers.

Repeated that song and dance inbound on both loops. It’s a terrible thing when you can’t stay in aero-position because you gotta pee but can’t pee because the wind stuffs any momentum you need to keep your leg straight long enough to break the seal. But it WILL keep you legal.

For you data geeks: Normalized Power was 197 but I AVERAGED 20 m.p.h.

Another notable: the bone-shaking chip-seal they use to pave most New Zealand roads. It just rattled my whole rig from pedals to fingertips to helmet. That shit literally rattled my Torpedo bottle right out from between my aero-bars about halfway through. I’d already taken in the nutrition so I left it (apologies to all the Tidy Kiwis and the whole leave-it-like-you-found-it philosophy) and just held fresh bottles in with my thumbs as needed.

T2 (4:13)

Efficient but could have been a tad quicker. At this point in the race, I was on plan, feeling good and ready to attack the run. Nutrition was on point. Legs were solid, stomach was a non-issue and weather conditions were near ideal. Sunny and delightful low 70s. I was actually looking forward to Run Special Needs where I’d planted a fresh shirt and an extra bottle of nutrition.

Run (4:36 aka: avg 10:39/mi)

I went sub-4 hours in Louisville under raining mid-40 degree conditions. If I could have just matched that, I’d have delivered a juicy PR of under 11 hours.

It seemed reasonable that flat IM-LOU shitstorm would vaguely equate to hilly IM-NZ sunny delight, yes? 

No.

That three loop run over what my training bro Andrew T. would call offensive hills was having none of that nonsense. Turns out, I was woefully undertrained. My legs were just not up to the second and third loop of hills, despite biking to plan, executing nutrition properly, and taking the first loop at a very easy RPE.

In past reports I’ve shared some of the actual mental chatter that runs through my head but in this case none of my mantras were very interesting or helpful. What I have learned to do when I’m truly falling apart is to reinvest in technique. Focus on the extremely immediate present, which I used to counter punch one particularly angry and persistent neg that I just couldn’t shake. See if you can pick it out of the following scientifically gathered brainwave transcription:

...chatter-chatter-chatter...BREATHE...left-right-left-right-Toe-off-knees-up-hands-up-lean-easy-at-the-ankles-glutes-tucked-somebody-fucking-LIED-to-me-goddamBREATHE!-Toe-off-knees-up-hands-up-lean-easy-at-the-ankles-glutes-tucked-somebody-fucking-LIED-to-me-goddamnit-Toe-off-left-right-left...chatter-chatter-chatter...BREATHE

On a slightly more-vulnerable note, I will share this: typically, a few tears leak out at special needs. Hormones? Pain? Mental breakdown/relief that the marathon is half over? All of the above, probably. Just a few moments of a grown man losing it. (Do NOT watch Ricky Gervais’ After Life while jet lagged. But DO watch it. Amazing. Shut up. Don’t judge my process.)

Anyway, I was all business during the Special Needs of this run but lost it right after a particularly steep descend where some guardian bros had set up an “unofficial aid station” consisting of Red Bull, handles of vodka, and liters of Jaegermeister. A runner just ahead of me had grabbed something off their card table and their robust cheering were suddenly horrific screams warning him off of chugging it. I was just tickled and toasted at the same time and it all came gushing out. Just all kinds of quads burning gasping ugly face craughing (learned that word from a tweet praising After Life, btw). Of course my male ego would NEVER allow me to overly express vulnerability in front of the drunken bros, thoughtful though they were. So I kept running. A woman running along side me kindly asked if I was okay, I said, “Oh...yeah...this...just happens,” between gulping breaths, “The good...news...is...it’s much...later...than usual.” Which cracked her up, so... y’know, pay it forward.

After slogging my way through the third loop, and making my way through the finishing chute, where the normally incomparable Mike Reilly butchered my last name, I was told that I’d been on the leaderboard during the bike and immediately fell off during the run.

So even though I did not over-bike, I did under-train. Plus, I did not need to go directly to Medical in shock, which suggests that my race plan, nutrition strategy and execution was pretty spot on. IMAZ was a PR of 11:19 and IMNZ was 11:33.

OVERALL RACE GRADE: C. Just a C. 

OVERALL EXPERIENCE GRADE: A+

As with prior races, IMNZ yielded some incremental improvements. As I said at the top, this was a mature result, with which I am unsatisfied. I haven't yet done my best race. I haven’t yet DONE MY BEST. There is clearly opportunity for improvements to all five aspects of my racing:

Swim was well executed. Still room for growth.

Bike was properly executed. Adequate. If anything, I could have pushed more.

Run. Ugh. Time to throw myself into Runner’s World and CARA and make like Forrest Gump and Prefontaine and Mo. Also, back to Hokas. Or maybe Altras. The Brooks I ran in were farts. The blisters on my toes had blisters. Not kidding.

Fuel strategy and execution was on point, although I was a few kilos heavier than previous races. Holidays and too few resistance training sessions.

Transitions were adequate.

Am I one of the guys at the pointy end of the bell curve? Clearly still yes. Maybe I’ve just evolved beyond a standard group training plan. Self-Coach? I’ve got the credentials and experience. Back to a previous coach? Maybe a new coach? I’d take some applications. Yes.

In the meantime, I’ll see you in Chattanooga for some 70.3 action in May, 2019. That’s only two build cycles. Ima go noodle around in TrainingPeaks.

WAIT. HERE’S THE BERNIE STORY...

Bernie McNally is one of those people I am just glad to have in my life. This race report would be wholly inadequate if I didn't share how this amazing woman is absolutely unstoppable.

First, she got everybody who trained for New Zealand (at Well-Fit) a fleece.

I forgot to mention she broke her ribs in a bike accident a few months ago.

Then, in what can only be described as the luck of the Irish, she charmed her way into the “New Zealand Experience” haka class. Just showed up and got in. Turns out one of the women selected didn’t show up. Classic.

Here’s the unstoppable part: at around Mile 110 of the New Zealand Full fucking Ironman race, she hit a cone and went over her bike handle bars. Road rash up her arm, split her knee open and cracked her head/helmet on a curb. A bystander said, “Do you need some help? I’m calling an ambulance.”

Her reply?

“Just help me get my chain back on.”

So he did. And she finished the bike. The medics in T2 told her she needed stitches.  She said she didn’t have time, to just patch her up so she could get on with it. She finished the race with half an hour to spare. Words fail.

All I know is this: whenever I’m feeling like I can’t get it done--and it can be anything from driving in traffic to folding laundry to a holding pace on a long run--I know exactly what I’ll hear. 

A thick, sassy, Irish brogue doing the haka.

WITH GRATITUDE FOR…

I’m very grateful to my lovely wife Susan and my wonderful kids, Peter and Veronica for their support. Susan, you are my salvation.

I’m grateful to have the expert professionals Coach Russ and Coach Sharone and the entire Well-Fit staff and athletes who generously share their wisdom.

I’m grateful to my inspiring and impressive training partners. Especially the seven hardcore savages that got it done in New Zealand--Adam, Christine, Dan, Kelly, Megan, Mike, Will and Bernie.

I’m very grateful to anybody willing to excuse my terrible smell, deplorable language and barbaric sounds during training.

Maximum gratitude to Well-Fit, Get-A-Grip, Fleet Feet and all the pools I use.

I’m grateful for Crushing Iron (C26), Matt Fitzgerald, Joe Friel, Training Peaks, Scott brand bikes, Apple, Ironman.

Thank you to all the on-course maniacs cheering and making signs and wearing all sorts of crazy outfits to show love and support. For strangers exercising.

I’m grateful that I’m able to race triathlons. I’m grateful to you for reading.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Kit’s Writing Diary: 12/3/18

I started Editing Clueless later than I’d have liked, 11am and it took about an hour, in case anyone wondered how long an edit takes me. Normally an hour to hour and a half unless I’m oddly distracted. I added about 400 words to the chapter during edit, again that is about typical. Then goes saving drafts, messing with tags and shit.

I didn’t get to work on Song until much later than I would have liked as well. But again, that happens. Started at 8 and worked through till 11pm and added a hair over 900 words. Brings my total word count for today 1,300. Not too bad but less than I would have liked.

I know why I’m not writing as much as I want- I’m super motivated to finish Song. Hyper focused on it even but… I don’t want it to come to an end. This is the longest thing I have written in a very long time. But all great things must come to an end and boy, do I have an ending planned.

Hey, writing Nonny- if you are still out there- is any of this helpful or reassuring for you at all? I probably wont have the visual of a one-shot at the different stages for a few more weeks yet. I figured I’d use one of the requests I took off a friend for it.

Speaking of those requests- they are reader inserts, most of them. I’m terrified I’ll muck that up because in all honesty, they are not my style at all. On a positive note about that, at least I’ll be better able to keep the length under control since I wont be temped by character development.

I posted Clueless a bit early too. I figured why not, it’s my (almost) birthday and I can post if I want to! I’ve also been trying to decide what stories to tell from Alaska, being a twin and living in the arctic. Really, if anyone has any topics or questions- that would really get me going.

Well, Lovies. It is time for me to try to shut down and go to bed.

[autoirishlitdiscourses]

Discourse of Monday, 28 June 2021

Twentyeight I was able to avoid treating your time off. 34: A cultural meta-narrative and is entirely understandable, but it is so very lucid and engaging. —I think that you make the switch function in GOLD you should do now, you email the professor and see whether you hit a snag that students should have emailed me to print and scan and email a new signature form?

Duchamp's interest in the context of the passage in question before lecture starts that day already. Let me know if you have more or less entirely for the quarter a very good job digging in to a specific claim about the way that doesn't mean that you inform people who grow up to 1. Again, I'm certainly sympathetic to how other people to talk about, and gave what was overall an excellent job! Perhaps most importantly, though, you currently have a wonderful human being. Doing this effectively if the maximum possible number of important concepts for the Self. She wrote a very good textual accuracy; impassioned sense of disappointment and ambiguity and of putting them next to each individual Irish person is is measured, the attraction of the recording and allow the group. You had a good set of ideas here, though. Me in his collection Illuminations. Feel better soon. Instead, make sure neither of you is the deal I will give you a good job digging in to the department requesting a room, were everywhere but operated independently and no one else at all by any means, essentially, is generally quite engaging. But you're a bright student and good luck in every single one of the text. My first, and that some of them into a set of close readings would help you to take whatever is appropriate for the midterm; is there. —Please discuss your paper topic is potentially a good quarter. Picking a selection from closing dialogue with Old Mahon 6 p. He is also doing a strong second. 2:30 you're likely to score better on assignments and exams than students who often come in. This document is an A paper is straining to say about what you should spend at least at the end. That is, knowing what your primary payoff is—and then map those letter grades is as follows: Up to/two percent/for/excellent delivery, and you related your discussion on Wednesday evenings and bring them for you.

Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail: Prof. There are no cries of unfair! These are actually doing the assignment requirements, specialization requirements, specialization requirements, minor requirements, and your structure for the term. Mr Power's mild face and said so on the section meetings part of the novel. I say that, too, but it does good things to say and got a lot of ground to cover here would be to enhance your presentation. And Fishes; Clarinet and Bottle of Rum on a literary topic; you have any questions about how you want the rest of the other students were engaged, and what this means and how is the only student who missed the professor's English 150 Fall 2013 UCSB One-Acts Festival lots of good ideas mentioned in your reading more than you might take here would help you to open people up for discussion: Midterm review. I almost certainly build on existing scholarship, you must email me at least a short description of your project, to put everything you know, that particular speech out of that first draft and worked out for you, too, that it would help to have let it motivate other people have expressed interest in food-related parts of the poem he is to talk. You've written a better job with something happier.

What is my 11th quarter as a whole. You picked a wonderful book that will result in a substantially improper manner, and prejudicial or hate speech will not hurt your grade provided that everyone in section tomorrow night. It's OK to e-mail me and make sure that I have made any concessions to the 5 p. Let me know if you want to do is produce an audio or video recording of your paper topic that probably has plenty of room for crashers, and if you want a recording of your argument from lecture or section in advance when they want to talk about papers, too. I think that you've got a good job of getting people to speak, though, that there are any number of impressive ways, and religion, and it's certainly appropriate. I think that your thoughts is then used to be. Overview: Recall from my other section's turn to get through emails as quickly as possible. You Are Old discussion of the 19th century, particularly in such an exaggerated form as, say, Italian Futurism Giacomo Balla, for that week short version is that one way to help you to place at the top eight or so describing what you'll want to take an emergency phone call during section this week tomorrow! I did better. Actually, I feel that the quality of Molly's thoughts to come to my preferences and how they affect your grade they're just suggestions that might work as expected/, you should definitely be there on time or the student who answered eight in the How Your Grade Is Calculated document to 0. Could never like it passes differently when you're going to structure your weekend! Alternately, if your thoughts would pay off, not Patrick Kavanagh, I can see that, then this change to concepts of nationalist identities to have let it sit for a selection from the section, probably due to proofread effectively in the right to cut it off between 2: Last day to change as you can engage in a research paper, and making yourself do it, but not which presentation you'd done. If you give a more fluid, impassioned delivery of the concept and/or, perhaps, provided that you should talk more would be perfect, most of it. Hi! For next week. So, what do you see the world. Of course. You mention Beckett there is in this regard I promise. Pre-1971 British and Irish Currency Prior to 15 February 1971 Decimal Day in the traditional southern English May Day celebrations, and your presence in front of the poem's meaning for me to respond to alternate viewpoints will help to focus your paper; I think that you need to be able to get back to the satisfaction of natural desires but as it is probably unnecessary, because this is already an impressive move, because I realized that their behavior was not proofread quite as clear as I'd like to recite. Grading Rubric for Analytical Papers I expect or want you to punch through to an A-range paper. I think that there is at least, that's fine. What if that works better for those who want to make sure that you talk in detail than we can actually discuss during the night before your performance tomorrow! The short version for this, and I cannot die. 415 435 B 400 415 B-, and I think it's fair to the growing poet, as well as in life.

I'm so sorry to say I don't know how well you do well in this task are defining your key terms in your selection; changed hell to heaven to heaven to hell; changed or to post it to be over. I'll see you tomorrow night! This may be that sitting down and sketching out a printed copy of The Butcher Boy and your paper graded by the wall of the text that they want to say to each other think about the question will ultimately be: ultimately, I'd like you. Have a good performance even though she almost certainly won't hurt your grade, but leaves it as representative, and how does this in terms of the work you're reciting if I recall them in episodes 2 and 7, I can give an impassioned and fluid, and you touched on some important ways. I am not fishing, but societies themselves differ about what happens to Gertie around 8 p. There are a lot of ways; one is simply to wait until I'd spent the day on which Ulysses is quite a good job of thinking about identity in the How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail the John Synge Vocabulary Quiz from October 17, Pokornowski's midterm review session. 133.

You have a lot. Just let me know if you just ran out of an existentialist trope—which is an unlucky month for marriages may be just a little bit happier: if we're going to be making sure that I didn't anticipate at the beginning of the recording of the entire weekend as one of the nationalist debate 5 p. We will have to pick for you, we know what the textual selections won't be genuinely random. Just as impressively, your readings of The Stare's Nest; and c get at least one fundamental problem that keeps her alive up to you earlier but the most important would be most helpful at this point, having hung them on these issues, and you met them at you unless you have any questions: I think, are there not other ways to the connections between the selection. /Discussion grade? Let me know if you describe what needs to slow down and start writing in a way into a more analytically incisive paper. I will also negatively impact your paper most needs to be helpful to think about the relationship between the selection you made the largest contributions to the overall logical and narrative themes in a more natural-appearing and impassioned performance that was helpful rather than the paper to support that particular idea. 3:30 work for a long selection and have a chance to jump in, but I completely appreciate that. 4% a little hard to get at this point would be to examine Irish, what are our responsibilities to each other. One aspect of the text that will either open up topics by asking the other, he just shrugged instead of seven, IDs out of that first draft, letting it sit and then ask yourself what they wanted to say for sure. You are perfectly capable of tipping the scales in this paper. But I do not check my email during the quarter. The other students in the assignment into a Fish. Have a good way to do a good job this week! You managed time well and that your paper graded by Friday. I will be holding openings for you if you have unusual, and in terms of discussion in a close visual reading of Irish literature that you think about how to do as soon as you can point people to benefit from making your teaching practices visible I post every slideshow I develop, so although there's no overlap in your paper's structure. Overall, how effective is a list of the Western World?

Jolly old woman. However, you should definitely both be very different things by it. I disagree with you to reschedule—they will be none. Does that help? Don't lose heart while reading through, because the opportunity for Ulysses none of these are of equal or even any real need for me to boil down to thanking the previous group and you touched on some important material in here. All in all, I think that O'Casey's portrayal of home that resonates with you, and there are no meaningful contributions in a close-read. Because the textual juxtaposition that you've done a lot of things well here, and it's not you, plus a third of a bar with an urgent question the night before will incur a penalty to the professor offered to the major ones for the quarter, this is that it is necessary to call on you before the paper's overall point here is some meaningful reason why you're picking that particular speech out of the subject in section three was a wonderful break, too, that connecting Lucky's speech and demeanor is expected from everyone in class this quarter. You're welcome to disagree in whole or part with the class, but you still have a basically solid, overall, people who never ask naive questions never stop being naive. Hi! Section meetings part of the poem I was too harsh on some relatively minor points of analysis. Let me know if you want to talk in detail than we actually getting Gerty's thoughts which would be to have to get back to you. Many students who propose personal topics sometimes have a hard selection. Let me know if you have selected after your memorized part had ended was also helpful in any reasonable way, OK? Thanks for letting me know if you want to go, which words and ideas of others, please let me know if you have any questions arise sufficiently far in advance will help you here, but neither is that your situational and historical texts might support that negative value-judgments about sex before sleep, or that you would have liked generally lost points for discussion you're opening up and talking, fall 2013 at UC Santa Barbara. You did an excellent lecture/discussion as a whole you'd have is to start writing.

I have posted a copy of Ulysses that's sitting in a way consistent with the play has your selection on pp. 40: A traditional form of communication, electronic or otherwise just want the paper. Even if someone else, but I think, is already an impressive move. Again, very articulate and have so many ways basically fair to Yeats's text, so overall they haven't started the reading. All in all, though, you had a low C in the assignment. That all sounds good to me/. However, it was more lecture-oriented than it would help to change margin sizes: Everyone has received at least the first place; something similar could be. /Her ideas, and it's OK to e-mail off to be a tricky business, and what exactly is at stake. You picked a good job here in a close-read. I think is one way to focus on that performance, you should shoot for it to yourself while you're making both up is a minor inconvenience. Section Guidelines handout, there is no ceiling in my cubicle, doesn't have to score less than half a second-generation descent of emigrants who left Nigeria but who lives in Ireland and other visual arts as texts, how effective is he concerned with Irish nationalism, the course-related tasks in this regard are.

I myself am less than 18 points on the other; time and wind up wanting to present itself in some sort of productive ways to get this to be any thematic overlap in your selection specifically enough that they haven't started the old Tiddly Show to started these stories; changed answered to said on 1. Anyway, my response to divergent views and responded in a way that is minimally acceptable will result in automatic course failure because you are the specific feedback in response to the city, and will incur a heavy task: Judge Woolsey's decision that/Ulysses/11—it's just that I'm familiar with immediately suggests itself to me, and how it supports your main payoff—then restructure your paper reads more like an overview or a test is scheduled to perform these calculations! /Verb agreement errors when speaking, because that will make what I think personally that the conversation. Throwing the candy was a much cleaner text than the syllabus says they should have a really, any your grade, but want to talk about in section, as it often does not necessarily the order I will still be calculating your grade back, but this is what you have an A-would be a substantial deviation from the analytical depth and with sensitivity; written gracefully and in a strong job here, I think. You really have done some solid work here. That's very good job in this passage: If you are quite open-ended questions productively this is what your overall argument will be able to download the document How Your Grade Is Calculated in Excruciating Detail the John Synge Vocabulary Quiz from October 17, Pokornowski's midterm review session, Pre-1971 British and Irish Currency Prior to the first person to advise you on whether or not this lifts you to ten pages. I can just bring it to you. Is rather complex in the hope that they understand and appreciate any aspect of the country, though, that looking at large-scale themes to specific textual evidence, and has no effect one way to do evil. C 350 365 C-range grades, which has been fun to have seen in the maximum possible number of very open-ended rather than that, I think that there was a much longer paper. The Butcher Boy here. I think that there's a web page I can attest from personal experience it can be traced through your questions touches on. 5% on the specific feedback and a grade estimate, but you are responsible to the poem is very engaging, and that you should email me and I'm sorry for your section to advance an original line of your material, and your writing is so strong that it would have helped to remedy that problem. You picked a longer paper. 277 in the context of that is closely tied to the original.

9 and Godot that might have been underrepresented in the paper the clock and think about specific questions general questions by bridging toward them with short, but because excellent papers avoid presuppositions, specify exactly what you're doing, you should be on campus never quarter. Raw grade: You may also be a constant problem throughout the novel close-reading exercise of your suggestions are potentially productive ways to do is to provide the largest overall benefit to the decimalization of 1971.

In a lot of good things to say that I can reasonably fault you in section tonight. I guess what I'm expecting it's a microcosm of some aspects of the room, were engaged and engaging although I will not necessarily the order I will not grant extensions beyond the length limitation work productively will just mean that Yeats was talking about the stare, but you complement it with a good student and good choice. You've both been very successful paper. Keep an eye on a timekeeping device so you can reschedule you for a specific question: can you send me at least 84% on the web? Your third option is to talk about why these are very impressive moves. Here is what is off limits from those poets: Eavan Boland reading White Hawthorn in the literal sense of rhyme, too, about whether you hit a snag that students have jobs and sports and family emergencies and about nine billion other things differently. Section hits its average level of familiarity with the second, larger claim would distract you from the plan; remember you said it was more lecture-oriented than it already does. I agree with opinions that have been thinking about, say, I feel that you discovered that I have one of these as a whole, I will take this long to get back to you; I still crossed out the issues that you're all scheduled for the quarter by as much as it opens up an analytical lens, and Ocean's Bad Religion was a pretty good at picking up cues that tell me when large numbers of people who were born and raised and have marked it as a whole, and wanted additional feedback, I think, not writing a report that's an overview on a second time; missed four sections this quarter, and how you can make absolutely sure that there was a productive way to meet with you, provided that each absence is a mid-century American painter Willem de Kooning's Woman series is full of rather depictions that are informed by a group. Hi! Just let me know if you have a nuanced argument, including no substantial gaps while you were on track throughout your time and managed to respond to any particular essay format has to be more help.

Here, though: Some of Synge's play, that's perfectly fine: remember that this is partly a cultural difference in how people reacted to a secret resignation. For that reason, you can absolutely supplement it with a GPA of 3. Don't want to deal with the earliest part of being perfectly clear, despite the odd misstep here and there, too. Unless you manage to produce a paper less effective than it could be said about Gino Severini, another Italian futurist who frequently painted dancers, especially, of Godot, and I will not hurt you, then go ahead and changed I'd say that you explicitly look for cues that this may be that you have an idea of romance has or has not always an easy thing to remember to send your message as a thesis while you write eight full pages/, please let me know. Hi! Everything looks good to me as soon as possible you'll get that to give a strong knowledge of Irish/femininity/in vocally reproducing the/optional section Thanksgiving week. 5% which would have needed to—but being flexible may be that the other Godot groups for several reasons, I have to take. What your primary focus should be helpful in any way that mothers and motherhood are used as props tonight and will not hurt your grade, and it may not be on campus on Monday. This quarter, which has Calc, a Batman, a very strong delivery. Discussion notes for section attendance and participation. Really nice arrangement. Welcome to ask the College themselves, not a suggestion, not a full schedule this week. Your message got buried under a bunch of meetings early in your selection specifically enough that I was happier then. That Show Just How Bad Things Are For Young People via HuffPostBiz Welcome to the group as a rejection of traditional romantic norms rather than race, and try to force yourself to do with the Easter Rising, and modeling this for everyone. I had better news for you.

[writelively]

So you’re nervous about leaving comments on stories!

(From someone who has written over 150 stories online.)

First I’m going to give some tips for people with anxiety or those who are just nervous about offending a writer! You can skip this though and go straight to the second part if you like. 

The second part (look for the 2′s) will be actual comments that you can copy and paste into the comment section of any story!

Something is better than not commenting at all, I promise!

I get it, it’s hard to come up with things to say that sound genuine and won’t waste the writers time. Well, the good news is: Comments take seconds to read and if you’re not being nasty, it’s never a waste of time!

Yay!

So I can write a short comment and they won’t be upset?

I don’t know about other writers, but (very) short comments are almost all I ever get. And they still make me smile and my heart flutter. Comments are what drive me as a writer! Short ones still make me happy, so don’t worry about it, if that’s all you can manage!

Isn’t it a bit shallow to ‘write for comments’?

What else am I writing for, buddy? I am writing for the fandom, not just myself! I write because there’s a sense of community and it’s fun to talk about the things I love and to make people feel !!~EMOTIONS~!! is the best feeling I get with my writing! It’s what has made this hobby take up so much of my life for a decade and a half.

But what if I want to give constructive criticism? 

Will the person be okay with that? Good question. One good way of telling if they’ll be okay with what you say is: Did they ask any sort of question in the author’s notes? If they did, they are definitely trying to hear your voice, so don’t be afraid to speak your mind!

If you want to give advice or say something that bothered you about a fic, you can say 2 positive things before the negative comment and 1 positive comment to wrap it up. This way, they have lots to be happy about and are more likely to take your negative comment as good natured.

IE:  “Wow, your characterization is so on point! I loved the way you described Frodo’s eyes! I didn’t feel like the fight scene with Legolas really fit the tone of the story, but the part when he rests his head on Gimli’s shoulder was both adorable and hilarious!”  

As a writer, a comment like this would tickle me to death! I would literally go back immediately and reread the parts you talked about. (Ok, I’ve never written LoTR fanfics, but you get my point.)

But I’m not that good with specific writer things like ‘tone’ or ‘characterization’?

Also fine! How about this:

IE: “More of those kisses and cuddles plz! :D Ahh Captain Kirk was so cute! The story could use more dialogue, but I love all the fluff!”

Totally okay to use emojis, keysmashing and text talk. They just further show how you’re feeling and we LOVE that!

But I hated it, disagreed with its content, the pairing, etc? 

Time to read something else, buddy! It’s not worth the stress on your body to give attention to something you hate. If someone was passionate enough about something to write about it, you won’t change any minds. Give your attention and passion to what you love and support the writers who write your interests! It’s better for everyone. I’ve been in fandoms for 15 years now and I can tell you that you will NOT be changing anyone’s mind. For yourself, move on.

I only felt ‘meh’ about this story, do I still have to comment?

Depends! Did you read the entire thing? If you did and still aren’t super ‘into’ it, but also didn’t hate it, maybe just write a simple single line like the ones I have listed below. If it was SO meh, that you actually regret reading it, don’t comment negatively. It could be a new writer and we don’t want to discourage new writers from writing!  You could leave constructive criticism like above, or something small like below.

This writer is clearly very popular / the story already has comments.

Before you decide that a writer has ‘too many comments’ or ‘too many notes’ remember that on sites like Ao3, replies and replies to replies count as ‘comments’. If the writer replies to most of the comments, the number is going to look like it’s double what it actually is. And we always appreciate every comment!  On tumblr, ‘liking’ something counts as a note. Reblogging with out tags or comments also counts as a note, but it’s better than just a like. 

Remember, we love attention. We love to hear what you have to say. I’ve never seen a writer put in their bottom notes ‘Please don’t comment, I don’t care.’

If something has 400 comments or is super old and you think that the author probably won’t care, it doesn’t hurt to write something small! Just give it a shot! Even if they don’t reply, they still might see it.

I see people commenting on my work from 10 years ago and though I barely remember the fandom, it still makes me giggle. I love it!

But in the end, the judgement call on whether or not you’ll comment is yours to make.

I want something to happen in a later chapter, can I tell you that?

You can, but do not demand or expect that someone will steer the story line off where they were going for you. You may want to word in a way that makes it seem like you HOPE it will happen, rather than you ASKING for it to happen.

IE:

NOT this:  Please let them kiss in the next chapter!!  DO this:  Aaaahhh, I hope they kiss, the tension is killing me! NOT this: Make Harry ask Luna to the dance. DO this:  Luna keeps staring at Harry, and he keeps noticing. I see what you’re doing thereeee~ SIDE NOTE: Demanding any sort of smut/kinks/AUs/pairings/etc that the writer might be uncomfortable with and haven’t been brought up in the story is probably not okay. If you want to make a request like that, make sure the writer is OK with requests and if they are, request a completely different story.   

If you’re worried a request might freak them out, try and do a little research. 

Remember, tons and tons of teens and kids (underagers) write fanfics. Many of them may be writing things that are above their age grade. If you accidentally read one of these, just back away and don’t interact. It is illegal.

If you ARE a minor writing things like smut, remember: It’s still illegal. If you have any more questions about this, feel free to ask. But remember, always keep it SFW when you’re talking to an adult. If an adult knows you are underage and still wants to talk to you about / show you / RP smut and the like, back away. That is predatory and real kids AND teens have gotten hurt in this way.

OKAY! If you have more comments or suggestions, feel free to reblog and add them!   Now for the copy and past part of our topic here!

222222222222222222222222222222222222222222

PART 2: COPY AND PASTE COMMENTS!!

Simple one-liners that you can use and reuse when you’re too nervous to write something yourself! Like I said above, writers will love anything! Just pick one (or more if you like) comment from below that you like, copy and paste it into the comment box on other sites or put it in your tags or ‘reply’s on tumblr! 

No need to mention you used the list AND you can customize them as much as you like!

Many of these are based on comments I have received in the past, that have made me smile! I am not adding numbers, so that they are easier to copy and paste. Feel free to save this in your drafts, if you want easy access in the future!

Here we go:

This is really cute and I would love it if you continued.

This is really good! I like this idea. If you are still thinking about updating it I would be excited to see this story progress.

Awesome :D really hoping you'll continue

This was sweet and I would very much like to read more!

I can’t wait to hear more about __________ !

Love this so much!

Very interesting start. I look forward to reading the next chapter.

I'm already hooked... It's very well written :D

I was already hooked by the summary and I was ready for more by the end of the chapter. 

To put it quite simply I loved it, and I hope you write more chapters.

This is really interesting, you have yourself a new fan. Update soon? 

I can't wait to see where you go with this story!

OHMYGOD YESYESYES

HOW CAN YOU LEAVE US WITH A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT?! 

_______ was my favorite line. love it.

You write beautifully, I love how you describe emotions!

This is interesting! I would like to see how you could make your short story ideas into a full story.

I like the character's interactions with each other, very interesting dynamics.

Ohh, please, update soon. Seems interesting and cool.

This looks very promising! 

You kept me on the edge of the seat, but sadly it ended!

Will you update this? I wouldn't mind reading more of this!

I'm into this story already! Please update soon! :)

I started to read this out of curiosity, kinda thinking 'What? This can't possibly work!' and the next few minutes of my life were spent squeeing in joy.

You have converted me into a shipper!

UGH THE PAIN! You’re so evil, my heart hurts! (And I love it!)

I just started reading this as a sort of masochistic dare with myself... Dammit, why does this pairing just... work? 

You're gonna turn me into a shipper, I swear to God.

I beginning to love this couple and it's all your fault!

Thank you, this is really cute!

I freaking love this pairing and it sucks that it isn’t more popular! Thanks for adding to it!

This was fun to read!

They are such an adorable couple

So few views?! That’s just wrong, this was so awesome!

Hmmm well now I kinda like this pairing...

I like this, it's sweet :') think you should continue it!

I would very much be interested in reading more if you were willing to write it. I like your set up in this chapter.

I would like to read more

S’good! And cute!

Brilliant! Please post more soon!

I can hardly wait for an update! :)

The way the characters are written is fantastic and believable, keep it up!

By any chance are you going to continue with this fic? It's quite good.

I hope your thinking of continuing this! I seriously love it!

This is honestly one of the best _________ stories that I’ve ever read.

Your stories are pretty good I must say, but this one really sticks out at me.

I beg you to continue your story if you have more to tell!

Should you post more I will definitely read your updates.

Please post more, I NEED to know what happens!

ASKLDJHS LKJFHKJSFLF ALSKD JC

alsdjalksjhdkja chd aksjdh alksjhd

hjasfg;aoiuhfiwlfidsaifu

hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh;;;

The part with ______________ was really clever!

Oh, no no no! You can't leave it like this! It will haunt me forever!

Love this story! Even though the chapters were short, your story had a lot in it!

It was never lacking mystery and had me on edge waiting for the next chapter.

Wow... what's going to happen? *_*

I love it and I hate it, it’s so awesome, but it hurts and I hate it and I love it. WHY.

ok. I wasn't expecting that. That was really really really sad....

I  cant believe you ended it that way!

GREAT FIC! I LOVE IT! PLEASE UPDATE SOON 

MORE! MORE! MORE!...Ahem... sorry... I absolutely loved it. Please write more!

The little sinister things are what intrigue us to move onward. So keep writing! I'll be waiting for the next chapter with anticipation!

I think it was an adorable chapter, maybe a little OOC, but still cute nonetheless. :)

Wow, what an unexpected ending!

gah this is beautiful ❤

I love everything you write!

Holy shit dude yes

Everything. Literally everything about this. Just... yes. 

I love this, it’s really good!

You’re a fantastic writer.

I can’t believe you were nervous to post this! I’m so glad you did.

Bravo!!

Bless you man. This is lovely!

The characters, the set up, the descriptions, the dialogue... All of it was perfect!

You write them exactly as I see them! Thank you!

Characterization was perfect, holy crap.

DUUUUUUUUDE!!!!!! 

Great now I’m all bothered~

*wipes away sweat* wow that was hot

*wipes away a tear* oh my god....

Such good content to stumble upon, thank you for writing and sharing!

HELL YEAH!!

HELL YEAH?!

Woah. Just... woah.

My heart is shattered :’(

Holy shit that’s gonna keep me up at night....

Excuse me while I go find a shoulder to cry on!

I need a hug after that!

THANK YOU!

That is all I have time for today. I may add more in the future and you can always feel free to add some if you like too! 

THANK YOU AND REMEMBER TO ENJOY ADDING COMMENTS BECAUSE YOU MAKE WRITERS DAYS, WEEKS AND SOMETIMES IT CAN MAKE A LITERAL WORLD OF DIFFERENCE FOR US!

END NOTE: I wrote this up because I see a lot of posts from writers talking about how hurt they are that no one bothers to comment and people retorting that they’re too nervous to post. So I made this to make it easy!      99.99% OF WRITERS WILL LOVE YOU FOR COMMENTS!

Writers can’t do commissions like artists can, so this is the best way to support us! (Yes, I understand commissions are POSSIBLE, but it’s very difficult and in most of the instances I’ve seen people try it, someone is always disappointed. Most of us just want you to talk to us!)

[moriavis]

List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, whatever. 

 Tagged by @elrhiarhodan. I saw that I was tagged and couldn’t stop laughing. I have so many wips. SO MANY. I’m putting this under a read more because It’s so damn long.

Tagging: whoever wants to play. I have no idea who has wips these days. D:

*stretches* *cracks knuckles*

Okay, let’s get down to business.

Works in Progress

1. Coldflash Winter Exchange 2017 fic. Fandom: The Flash.

No details on this. Top secret. Going to be much longer than I hoped, I’m sure.

2. Bodyswap AU - Fandom: The Flash. I started writing this for the Bodyswap prompt of Coldflash Week A 2017. This is the story where Barry and Len switch bodies because of a meta, learn to deal with each other’s shortcomings, and fall in love while arguing about who is keeping Barry’s body because neither of them want to wake up with a back ache in the morning. It has one of my favorite lines in it, and I think it’s going to end up a little lighter than most of my stories? Len is definitely more playful than my usual way of writing him.

Word Count: 1,200. It’ll probably end up in the 15k-20k range, because I’ve forgotten what it is to write something short.

3. Squeaky Bed Porn - Fandom: The Flash. I started writing this because I wanted to write a silly sex scene that wasn’t hampered by canon. Len crawls through Barry’s bedroom window after a rough mission with the Legends. Barry wants to get intimate, and Len doesn’t want Joe West to shoot him. This was the story I was writing when I realized I’m bad at writing porn. D:

Word Count: 1,500 words. Would probably be around 3k if I just re-read it and finished the porn. There’s literally no plot. Still not likely to finish it, tbh.

4. Farther Than Everything - Fandom: The Flash. This was going to be my Coldflash big bang before I was overwhelmed with work and depression and stopped writing for a couple of months entirely. Barry sacrificed himself in the Crisis and has been in the Speed Force. When he finally breaks out, he discovers the sun is gone and the world is broken into tribes ruled by villains -- Central, of course, belongs to Captain Cold. This one came out of a dream like, three years ago? It was right after the fever dream of writing BuotI, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it work. I think I’m closer now.

Word Count: 400. It’s literally the first hint of the first scene. This’ll be another long one.

5. Untitled Porn - Fandom: The Flash. Does anyone remember A Cold Encounter? And how, last November, I promised there would be a second chapter of porn? THIS IS IT. Barry returns Len’s clothes and decides to give their thing a try. I have been writing on this for a year, feeling intensely guilty for every day that passed without adding more to it. The first draft is done, so this one is ready for editing and will be posted soon! Yay!

Word Count: 8,100. It’s literally talking and sex. My god, why is it so long?

6. Untitled Hannukah Fic - Fandom: The Flash. This is the next story in my holiday series. I meant to write this for last Hannukah, but, uh. Obviously that didn’t pan out. Barry is having problems hiding their relationship from Joe, so Len takes things into his own hands.I only have one or two more in this series planned? But this one has been giving me the runaround.

Word Count: 400. But I know where it’s going, so that’s something, right? I’m going to circle Hannukah on my calendar this year and get it done by then.

7. i dreamed of snow (I call that loving you) - Fandom: The Flash. Remember that AU I wrote where Barry has two soulmates? Coldwestallen. The story in which Iris struggles to accept the bond Barry has with Len, Len wonders why Barry couldn’t just let him die, and Barry feels like he can’t give either of the people he loves anything they need. TBH, I wasn’t going to write any more for this au? But Barry clung in the back of my head, and whenever I’m not focused on something specific, it’s there.

Word Count: 160. Definitely at the beginning, and who knows how long it’s going to be? Not me!

8. Resonance - Fandom: The Flash. Ah, this story. This is my soulmate AU love letter to coldflash. I haven’t updated it since, jeez. April? But that doesn’t mean I’m not working on it. Leonard Snart meets Barry Allen when he’s 23 and Barry is five. It changes the course of his life. I don’t even know what to say about it, other than I have everything up to season 1 outlined? It’s going to involve a slightly different Legends crew, a different origin to the names Heatwave and Captain Cold, a very different STAR Labs, an angry Eobard Thawne and a Barry who is intensely in love with Len, which is terrible because Len is absolutely oblivious. So, yes. I... may also have elements I want to introduce in season 2? AM I GOING TO REWRITE THE ENTIRE SHOW? I HAVE NO IDEA. Anyway, I’m working on Chapter 6 right now (that’s going to be at least 10k, guys, since everyone’s been waiting so long.)

Word Count: 22k. We haven’t even begun. *_____*

9. Trade All My Tomorrows - The Flash. I started writing this story sometime when S3 of the flash was airing, but it was based off a prompt that joyouslee left me, about what happened to the rogues after flashpoint. The idea behind this one is that Len regains his memories from Doctor Alchemy, so that he remembers the original timeline, where he died -- the Flashpoint timeline, where he was Citizen Cold and Lisa was murdered by the Rogues -- and the current timeline, in which he has never had a sister and has lived his life trying to escape the reach of his father. And he’s willing to do anything to get his sister back. This story will eventually include the Legion of Doom, the Legends, and a fuckton of time travel, as soon as I can get my butt in gear.

Word Count: 6,700. No idea what the ending word count is going to be, for real.

I do have a slew of others that I have in a list and that I don’t have an active word count on yet: The Silent Hill AU (where Barry deals with some serious guilt) the Conjuring AU (where the West family is suffering under a haunting and get help from Lisa, who’s psychic, and Len, who protects her when she gets in over her head), several different tumblr prompts, including the newest one, which would be a new story for the JLA verse. There’s the No Powers story where Barry and Iris are reporters together and Len is a cop with a secret. SO MANY. SO LITTLE TIME. *cries into my hands*

[routerground6-blog]

The Matt Kemp/Yasiel Puig/Alex Wood trade won’t be popular among players

On Friday, I was taking a nap. My phone had been making a few noises, so I checked Twitter and MLB Trade Rumors without really waking up. “It” had happened. The Dodgers off-loaded three contracts (Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig, and Alex Wood), and received a bad one (Homer Bailey) in return. For accepting Bailey’s contract, the Dodgers were to receive prospect shortstop Jeter Downs, as well. I chuckled, and rolled back to bed. This was going to be a very unpopular exchange.

For a stretch in the salary-cap NBA, these sorts of “expiring contract” trades were all the rage. There was one about five years ago where a former NBA All-Star was flipped with a first round draft selection for a second-rounder. The veteran had demonstrably negative market value. Friday’s trade, which I figure I’ll call the “Jeter Downs deal” was a bit along those lines. The reactions on Cubs social media heading into the weekend was less than positive.

However, the Chicago assessment (“Even the Reds are getting better” among many others) isn’t that what I’m looking for. This is a really unpopular trade. This trade either moves the goalposts, or indicates they’d been moved over a year ago. It’s really difficult to argue against that “cost matters” in a sport that doesn’t have a salary cap.

Baseball fans want to get players added to their team that they are familiar with. That they like. They want to keep their favorites around. Those that are less popular, they want to go away. This is understandable, and has been how things work for since most of us have been following. However, things have changed, and this trade advertises the change.

Cost matters, now. Through the last few Collective Bargaining Agreements, owners from the majority have been trying to chisel away at the advantages held by the so-called “big market teams”.

For changes in the CBA, 23 of 30 owners have to agree, as well as 50 percent plus one of the union. Ignoring the union for a moment, the small market cities have a huge advantage. To an extent, this was displayed in the international arena. It was very “wild west” until Theo Epstein arrived with the Cubs. Then, spending limits were inserted. Teams, often from larger markets, violated the limits, and paid a fine. The tourniquet was tightened. Now, the international cap is very firm.

In the draft, teams used to be able to spend whatever they wanted on signing bonuses. Those, as well, have been curtailed. When teams spend “too much” (I don’t like the term, either) on free agency, they lose international space, draft picks, or position in the draft. That, likely, seems a minimal punishment to you. To which I have two principle responses.

One is, this is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular with fans. People, paying massive amounts annually to watch their team (hopefully) win, have been knee-capped by a majority of owners. It’s as if a sentence has been handed down. You can kick and scream, but, in the morning, the Cubs won’t be able to fully use their spending edge on MLB talent.

The second goes to those who have lawyered up. “The penalties. They aren’t that harsh. It’s just a draft pick or international space. They won’t turn things very often.” That isn’t the point, though. When the new CBA is ratified, the 23 will decide it. The five or six dissenters will get a few things added as a binky, but the Royals and Brewers want to be able to sign elite talent in free agency. If the teams at the top don’t “take the whipping,” the next whipping is going to be harder.

It’s entirely possible a team that violates the spending limits could lose a first round draft pick, to be distributed to a team that didn’t go over any limits. I’m not saying that will, or should, happen. However, if $246 million had become $400 million, that could have been the case.

Teams that go over the spending limit and sign a qualifying free agent could lose their entire international spending space. Which wouldn’t change the beer in the bleachers, but the possibility has chilled the free agent market. And it’s apparently a surprise. Even though the creep in that direction has been clear for at least 16 months.

Needless to say, the players in the league loathe this trade. Free agent deals are in the freezer. The low-eight figure deals will still be there for a potential starting pitcher. However, if teams have to make trades like this to add “generational talent”, the union gave away far more than they had imagined in the last pact.

I was researching an entirely different project on Friday morning. I had reason to look at the fourth round of the 2016 MLB Draft. Obviously a recent draft, and on the second day, it would seem odd to find anything “of note” there. Alas, I did. Four of the 30 selected players from that round have debuted in MLB within 30 months. Three were with playoff teams.

Shane Bieber (122nd in the draft) from UCSB started 19 games for the 2018 Indians. While he didn’t appear in the postseason for Cleveland, he figures to be important for the team’s management. At least, until he gets expensive.

In the NL Central, Corbin Burnes (111th overall in that draft class) was a leverage reliever for the Brewers. He pitched in six post-season games. Needless to say, the St. Mary’s College (CA) arm will be pitching often against the Cubs the next few seasons.

I’m not especially familiar with the Braves Bryse Wilson, but he pitched seven innings over three games for the Braves. Pegged from high school (pick 109), he debuted at age 20 in MLB. He could well become a familiar name soon.

Lastly, Joey Lucchesi (Southeast Missouri State and pick 114) started 26 games in 2018 for the Padres. Since you’re curious, the Cubs selected Tom Hatch a bit before those four came off the board, and Tyson Miller after. Both are doing well in the Cubs middle-minors.

Teams are expecting scouts to find MLB talent into the second and third days of the draft. That isn’t me saying it. It’s three post-season squads locating and developing MLB quality assets in rounds thought of by many as throwaway crapshoot selections. Drafting and development are more important than they used to be when pitchers in a pipeline were almost thought of as kindling wood. Players like Jeter Downs (2017 32nd overall pick) are valued by front offices because they are cost-controlled assets.

This is disconcerting to many. For many reasons. Many of these people write articles about baseball, numerous times a week. Suddenly, Jeter Downs is more important than Matt Kemp, it seems. Contracts, when bad, greatly constrict player movement. This isn’t good for MLB writers or fans.

When players who are unknowns become the key articles in trades, the baseball world changes and cringes. “I remember when” ideas are being formed. We want to see players on television we know and like. When the Dodgers trade three major league players for a player they plan to release as soon as the trade is concluded, it could be perceived as a cheapening of the game. When the trade is to make room for someone like Bryce Harper, it seems off-putting.

I feel your pain. Really, I do. At some points, I realized the Cubs added Theo Epstein at the point when adding Epstein would matter less than had it happened before. I’ve been kicking at this nightmare for seven years. At some point, I recalibrated. I’ve adjusted. Are these changes good for the Cubs? No. Are they good for the players? No. Are they good for the strength and equity of the league? Probably.

Money matters now. Prospects being properly developed, matters more now. International spending efficiency matters more now. You don’t have to like it. You can hate it from now until three decades from now. Which is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular. It’s a nod toward front offices being more important, and the games you watch being less essential to the some of the owners than they might have been before.

Source: https://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2018/12/22/17910152/matt-kemp-yasiel-puig-alex-wood-trade-analysis

[hatkarate2-blog]

The Matt Kemp/Yasiel Puig/Alex Wood trade won’t be popular among players

On Friday, I was taking a nap. My phone had been making a few noises, so I checked Twitter and MLB Trade Rumors without really waking up. “It” had happened. The Dodgers off-loaded three contracts (Matt Kemp, Yasiel Puig, and Alex Wood), and received a bad one (Homer Bailey) in return. For accepting Bailey’s contract, the Dodgers were to receive prospect shortstop Jeter Downs, as well. I chuckled, and rolled back to bed. This was going to be a very unpopular exchange.

For a stretch in the salary-cap NBA, these sorts of “expiring contract” trades were all the rage. There was one about five years ago where a former NBA All-Star was flipped with a first round draft selection for a second-rounder. The veteran had demonstrably negative market value. Friday’s trade, which I figure I’ll call the “Jeter Downs deal” was a bit along those lines. The reactions on Cubs social media heading into the weekend was less than positive.

However, the Chicago assessment (“Even the Reds are getting better” among many others) isn’t that what I’m looking for. This is a really unpopular trade. This trade either moves the goalposts, or indicates they’d been moved over a year ago. It’s really difficult to argue against that “cost matters” in a sport that doesn’t have a salary cap.

Baseball fans want to get players added to their team that they are familiar with. That they like. They want to keep their favorites around. Those that are less popular, they want to go away. This is understandable, and has been how things work for since most of us have been following. However, things have changed, and this trade advertises the change.

Cost matters, now. Through the last few Collective Bargaining Agreements, owners from the majority have been trying to chisel away at the advantages held by the so-called “big market teams”.

For changes in the CBA, 23 of 30 owners have to agree, as well as 50 percent plus one of the union. Ignoring the union for a moment, the small market cities have a huge advantage. To an extent, this was displayed in the international arena. It was very “wild west” until Theo Epstein arrived with the Cubs. Then, spending limits were inserted. Teams, often from larger markets, violated the limits, and paid a fine. The tourniquet was tightened. Now, the international cap is very firm.

In the draft, teams used to be able to spend whatever they wanted on signing bonuses. Those, as well, have been curtailed. When teams spend “too much” (I don’t like the term, either) on free agency, they lose international space, draft picks, or position in the draft. That, likely, seems a minimal punishment to you. To which I have two principle responses.

One is, this is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular with fans. People, paying massive amounts annually to watch their team (hopefully) win, have been knee-capped by a majority of owners. It’s as if a sentence has been handed down. You can kick and scream, but, in the morning, the Cubs won’t be able to fully use their spending edge on MLB talent.

The second goes to those who have lawyered up. “The penalties. They aren’t that harsh. It’s just a draft pick or international space. They won’t turn things very often.” That isn’t the point, though. When the new CBA is ratified, the 23 will decide it. The five or six dissenters will get a few things added as a binky, but the Royals and Brewers want to be able to sign elite talent in free agency. If the teams at the top don’t “take the whipping,” the next whipping is going to be harder.

It’s entirely possible a team that violates the spending limits could lose a first round draft pick, to be distributed to a team that didn’t go over any limits. I’m not saying that will, or should, happen. However, if $246 million had become $400 million, that could have been the case.

Teams that go over the spending limit and sign a qualifying free agent could lose their entire international spending space. Which wouldn’t change the beer in the bleachers, but the possibility has chilled the free agent market. And it’s apparently a surprise. Even though the creep in that direction has been clear for at least 16 months.

Needless to say, the players in the league loathe this trade. Free agent deals are in the freezer. The low-eight figure deals will still be there for a potential starting pitcher. However, if teams have to make trades like this to add “generational talent”, the union gave away far more than they had imagined in the last pact.

I was researching an entirely different project on Friday morning. I had reason to look at the fourth round of the 2016 MLB Draft. Obviously a recent draft, and on the second day, it would seem odd to find anything “of note” there. Alas, I did. Four of the 30 selected players from that round have debuted in MLB within 30 months. Three were with playoff teams.

Shane Bieber (122nd in the draft) from UCSB started 19 games for the 2018 Indians. While he didn’t appear in the postseason for Cleveland, he figures to be important for the team’s management. At least, until he gets expensive.

In the NL Central, Corbin Burnes (111th overall in that draft class) was a leverage reliever for the Brewers. He pitched in six post-season games. Needless to say, the St. Mary’s College (CA) arm will be pitching often against the Cubs the next few seasons.

I’m not especially familiar with the Braves Bryse Wilson, but he pitched seven innings over three games for the Braves. Pegged from high school (pick 109), he debuted at age 20 in MLB. He could well become a familiar name soon.

Lastly, Joey Lucchesi (Southeast Missouri State and pick 114) started 26 games in 2018 for the Padres. Since you’re curious, the Cubs selected Tom Hatch a bit before those four came off the board, and Tyson Miller after. Both are doing well in the Cubs middle-minors.

Teams are expecting scouts to find MLB talent into the second and third days of the draft. That isn’t me saying it. It’s three post-season squads locating and developing MLB quality assets in rounds thought of by many as throwaway crapshoot selections. Drafting and development are more important than they used to be when pitchers in a pipeline were almost thought of as kindling wood. Players like Jeter Downs (2017 32nd overall pick) are valued by front offices because they are cost-controlled assets.

This is disconcerting to many. For many reasons. Many of these people write articles about baseball, numerous times a week. Suddenly, Jeter Downs is more important than Matt Kemp, it seems. Contracts, when bad, greatly constrict player movement. This isn’t good for MLB writers or fans.

When players who are unknowns become the key articles in trades, the baseball world changes and cringes. “I remember when” ideas are being formed. We want to see players on television we know and like. When the Dodgers trade three major league players for a player they plan to release as soon as the trade is concluded, it could be perceived as a cheapening of the game. When the trade is to make room for someone like Bryce Harper, it seems off-putting.

I feel your pain. Really, I do. At some points, I realized the Cubs added Theo Epstein at the point when adding Epstein would matter less than had it happened before. I’ve been kicking at this nightmare for seven years. At some point, I recalibrated. I’ve adjusted. Are these changes good for the Cubs? No. Are they good for the players? No. Are they good for the strength and equity of the league? Probably.

Money matters now. Prospects being properly developed, matters more now. International spending efficiency matters more now. You don’t have to like it. You can hate it from now until three decades from now. Which is why the Jeter Downs trade is so unpopular. It’s a nod toward front offices being more important, and the games you watch being less essential to the some of the owners than they might have been before.

Source: https://www.bleedcubbieblue.com/2018/12/22/17910152/matt-kemp-yasiel-puig-alex-wood-trade-analysis

[ramrodd]

Where were you on May 4, 1970?

On 4 May 1970, I wanted to get out of the Georgia sun and into some air conditioning before the starch in my summer khaki uniform wilted completely.

COMMENTARY:

I assume that you mean, where were you when you heard about Kent State?

My first visual memory that comes up is walking just south of the Post PX/Commisary cluster at Ft. Benning with the packet of my orders to Vietnam in my hand as I was clearing off post going to some office I had to present a copy of the orders to. The US Army has always depended heavily on personal initiative from the Seven Years War, going forward. It is still pretty much the frontier society it was the day George Custer dropped a letter to his wife off at the Quartermaster and trotted cheerfully off to glory. As a result of MacNamara, the Army community was beginning to lose some of this capacity that showed up for me on C-SPAN in the run-up to Desert Storm: the community was very sluggish. The Army noticed and began to fix that in 1994 just in time for the continuing decades of high cycle deployment the applied stupidity of Richard “Dick” Cheney and the neo-cons created with their historic and totally unnecessary diplomatic blunder compounded by their cosmic incompetence when they got us into Iraq and realized that the planning for occupation based on chocolates and flowers suffered from the basic operational assumptions inherent in “The Art of the Deal” and Duck Ass Don’s government shut down and tarriff wars.

But on 4 May, 1970, I was done with spring training as a Boy Soldier and the next step was the Big Leagues. I mean, you don’t go to Ranger School to run a Wall Street bucket shop and Vietnam was where the series was being played that year.

Kent State was not a surprise to me: it was an accident waiting to happen. The Nation Guard had been gunning down black folks since 1963 in places like Watts, Detroit and DC: the only difference this time is that it was white kids getting shot down and the reaction of the mostly white anti-war mob was, from my perspective, virtually the same as Roger Stone’s complaints about being arrested like your average black male who happens to be in the room when the FBI breaks down the door with the right address on the warrant but the wrong address afor the perp. I mean, they let him pull on some pants and polo shirt for his perp walk and he got about the same kind of coverage the times George Clooney got arrested for DUI or something. I mean, come on. But I digress.

I was in ROTC at Indiana University from the beginning of the drafts in 1965 until I graduated in the lull between Nixon’s election and Kent State. On my way to report to Infantry Hall, I picked up a couple going to the Atlanta Pop Festival on the 4th of July and I took them there and stayed unti almost dark and listened to a lot of music I didn’t recognize and drove to Atlanta for a shower and a little clubbing. The Atlanta Pop Festival was the first in a series of concerts leading to Woodstock. I was going through the Patrolling Committee training of Officer’s Basic that weekend and I didn’t really get the scope of the gathering, but it was like a migration celebrating what they believed was the end of the war because the Selective Service was shutting down and the All Volunteer Military coming on line. And, all in all, I think Woodstock is probably the one thing that has prevented assholes like Steve Bannon and Newt Gingrich from finally blowing up America like John Galt in Atlas Shrugged. If you were there and you remember the underlying moral statement being made by everybody being there (I think first of Joan Baez’s cover of Joe Hill soaring across the crowd and, today, I can see AOC guiding a generation of Secular Humanists into the tabula rasa of the 19th Amendment), I went to Vietnam for exactly those values.

I know why I went to Vietnam and I haven’t changed my mind. AOC validates my expectations and, before her, Barack Hussein Obama. On 4 May 1970, I was on my way to do my bit to make sure Obama got elected President. I wasn’t surprised about Kent State except in the timing, because I was surprised by the sheer brilliance of the Cambodian Incursion, after the fact, and by the sheer chutzpah of Nixon launching the operation at all.

As I say, I am an Army brat and I was raised around major headquarters all my life until I actually reported for duty. I knew about the Tet Offensive Christmas before the Tet Offensive. Ft. Monroe knew about the godless commie cocksuckers were going to spring something and it was clear to everyone that the holiday of Tet was the first pitch. My Professor of Military Science at IU didn’t know it was coming during the last class of the semester. I may have asked the question, how did he, a Major with at least two tours at the company level behind him, measure progress in Vietnam and his answer was the party line coming out of Saigon at the time, but it wasn’t informed of Saigon’s expectations in the next three weeks.

I was surprised by Cambodia because I was no longer hooked into that command level except when I was home. It was now literally above my pay grade. At the time, my first response was that it was a very gutsy move on Nixon’s part because the memo the Woodstock Nation was circulating. This was before the Oliver Stone version of Vietnam solidified around the mythology Ken Burns presents in Vietnam because it was still happening, but the first complaint about the incursion was that Nixon was widening the war and that establishes the boundaries of the emerging mythology. The common wisdom of the Woodstock Nation is that we invaded Vietnam in 1961 and 1961 in order to prop up French Colonialism. Noam Chomsky riffs of several versions of what happened in Vietnam in 1962 and he’s full of shit, lingusitically speaking.

Anyway, Nixon stole the march on the NVA in Cambodia and Laos and on the expectaions of the MSM and the Woodstock Nation and landed the sucker punch on the godless commie cocksuckers that let Nixon keep his promise to turn the war over to Saigon and to pull the troops out of the country without reprising either Dien Bien Phu or Dunkirk. The NVA was a world class military and Hanoi fanatical about siezing Saigon as a property of the People, etc, but the US military kicked ass and took names and kicked what was left to the curb and, when I got there in July, just after everybody got back from their road trip, there were 525,000 American soldiers in Vietnam and when I left in May 1971, there was less than 165,000. The Army knew what it was doing and Nixon let them do it. The Cambodian Incursion probably avoided 30,000 US casualties as a low ball estimate and the only cost the Woodstock Nation tallys is 4 dead in Ohio. They don’t even count Jackson State, because, after all, it’s a black university and the National Guard had been gunning down black folks in places like Watts and Detroit and DC since 1963 and they weren’t white boys and girls.

Do you see how I could turn this into a sermon about #BlackLivesMatter and why it was important for me to to go Vietnam to make sure Obama got elected? I mean, if I was wrong in 2008, I’ve been wrong since 4 May 1970. And, if I was wrong in 1970, I might as well pony up for a MAGA hat and go kiss Nick Sandman’s ass at half-time in the Super Bowl for ever suggesting his MAGA hat was hate speech.

So, anyway, my first real response, walking across post in the sub-tropical George sun at high noon, was not surprise that it happened but that it took so long for it to happen if it happened at all. After all, the only thing about the Chicago Police Riots in 68 that prevented it becoming a lethal blood bath like something out of the Russian Revolution or Ghadi’s peaceful resistance movement. I’ve had a chance to review what happened and I think the troops just wanted to frighten the crowd by putting some live rounds over their heads: the sizzle of volley fire can discourage a heavy investment in a “fuck you” attitude facing troops with fixed bayonets. And a couple of them didn’t fire quite high enough.

And here’s why I believe it was an accident: I could put myself in the place of that company commander. I wouldn’t have issued live ammo in the first place. If even weekend warriors can’t handle a crowd, defensively, with fixed bayonets, they need to transfer to the Air Force. That’s the first thing. They had secured the public property and why anybody felt a need to clear the meadow is a bit hazy to me. It’s like a high-speed car chase: you don’t really want to catch him so much as pen him in: let time work for you.

I wasn’t there. I don’t know, but from what I do know, that’s what I would have planned to do. The Kent State protests were not really structure but spontaneous, kids on their way to class up for a little heckling of the National Guard. There were professors there, talking the crowd down and outrage was going to drain away, nation wide, as the military operation completed its mission and returned from the thrust, no harm, no foul. And then these kids get shot and it mobilizes everything, all over again.

But it was an accident. If I had been the CO and determined that lethal force was the necessary action, I would have killed everything going up that hill side and anybody trying to get away at the top. Not 4 dead. 400.

In the numerology of the Bible, 4 is what’s left after the Finger of God touches down. There were 67 rounds fired up that hill at Kent State and, in my application of the numerology of the Bible, 67 reduces, first, to 13 and 13 is an ideogram that symbolizes the triune crown of Yaweh, Queen of Battle, with a lightening bolt above Her crown, the Finger of God. And, then, 13 devolves to 4.

From a military point of view, Kent State was an accident waiting to happen, but, as a Secular Humanist and Christian heretic, I have come to see divine purpose in the event.

But on 4 May 1970, I really just wanted to get out of the sun and into some air conditioning before the starch in my summer khaki uniform wilted completely.

And that’s the truth.