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gaeforwom3n · 4 months ago

Text

A Caring Friend

Pair: Tara Carpenter x girldick!reader

Warning: smut, the use of y/n, bad writing, fingering, dom!reader, sub!tara, this is probably the weirdest thing I’ve written (I’m sorry)

A/n: Has math ever made you cry in frustration?

Word count: 6.4k or more..

Tara comes over to your house on a lazy Sunday morning to hang out in your room.

Hey y/n, if our lives were a movie, what genre do you think it would be?

Oh, Tara, definitely a buddy comedy. With our antics, we'd give "Dumb and Dumber" a run for its money. Y/n said.

Tara laughs I can see it now – "Tara and y/n The Misadventures of Two Goofballs."

As the laughter dies down Tara looks up to you and opens up to you about a problem she have been dealing with

Look, Tara, Need to talk to you about something... Its kinda personal so hear me out okay? She looks at you with her head slightly tilted.

"Sure, what's on your mind, buddy?"

"Well, I've always had issues down there."

Tara blushes and looks down shyly

"It's just that no matter what I do, it never seems to loosen up much and it really hurts whenever a guy tries to you know...fit. I was wondering if you had any advice on how I can finally get over this problem? You're my best friend, I trust you..."

Tara looks at you hopefully, her brown eyes pleading for help

I blink hard "Wait... your... vagina is too tight?"

Tara blushes even harder and nods slowly "Yeah...I know it's weird to talk about this with you but you're the only one I feel comfortable opening up to about it."

She fidgets with her hands in her lap nervously

"It's really been affecting my confidence being with guys...I was hoping maybe you know some exercises or something that could help? I'm tired of having to make excuses every time, I just want to enjoy myself for once without being in pain."

Tara looks up at you with sad, hopeful eyes. "Please y/n, anything you can suggest would help. You're the only one who can help me with this..."

How tight are we talking? Like, what have you tried to... insert into it?

Tara looks away shyly. "Well, I've tried using my fingers and some small toys but even those are really hard to get in there...it's like my walls just clamp down on them."

She takes a deep breath before continuing

"And when guys have tried putting their penis inside me, it feels like they're splitting me open. The pain is so intense that I usually can't last more than a minute or two before having to stop."

She sighs heavily

"It sucks because I want to be able to enjoy sex without feeling like something is ripping me apart every time. That's why I'm hoping you might know of some way for me loosen up down there..."

Tara looks at you with pleading eyes, silently begging for your help

Y/n coughs "Umm, this may be awkward but like... can I see?"

Tara swallows hard, her eyes wide with surprise "Uh...you want to see my vagina?"

She looks at you nervously, clearly unsure about this request.

"I mean...if it could help then I guess so? But are you sure that's necessary?"

Tara bites her lip anxiously as she waits for your response.

"Nevermind, I was just... I dunno, maybe just to get an idea of what we're talking about but, nevermind. Umm I'm sure we can figure out some kind of idea here."

Tara relieved sigh "Thanks y/n, I know it's a lot to ask."

She smiles weakly at you, grateful that you didn't push for seeing her private parts.

"So...what do you think we should try? Are there any exercises or techniques out there that could help me loosen up down there?"

Tara looks at you hopefully, trusting in your ability to find a solution for her problem.

"So do your fingers not fit in?"

Tara shakes her head "No, even my fingers barely fit inside me. It's like I have this tight ring around my opening that doesn't want to let anything through."

She looks at you with a mix of frustration and embarrassment.

"I know it sounds weird but it makes sex really uncomfortable for both me and the person I'm with. That's why I need help finding a solution so we can finally enjoy ourselves without any pain or discomfort..."

Tara takes your hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze as she looks into your eyes pleadingly.

I blush as I awkwardly stammer out. "But you don't still have your... your hymen, right?"

Tara blushes deeply and looks away "I...I don't know. I've never checked, but I don't think so. It's not like anyone's ever mentioned it before."

She chews on her lower lip nervously as she thinks.

"But even if that was the issue, wouldn't it be too late to do anything about it now? I mean, I'm already sexually active..."

Tara trails off uncertainly, looking at you with a mix of curiosity and apprehension in her eyes

"I'm just trying to use process of elimination to help out."

Tara "I understand that, y/n. I appreciate you trying to help me out."

She takes a deep breath and looks at you with determination.

"Is there anything else we can try? Maybe some sort of exercise or technique that could help stretch me out down there?"

Tara's eyes light up as she thinks about the possibilities.

"I'm willing to try anything if it means finally being able to enjoy sex without any pain or discomfort..."

"When you've hooked up with guys... are they going down on you first?"

Tara nods "Yeah, usually. I mean, it helps get me a little more aroused before we try anything else."

She looks at you with a puzzled expression.

"But how does that relate to my tightness problem? I still have the same issue even after getting oral sex..."

Tara's brow furrows as she tries to understand your line of questioning.

"Well how would I have known that without asking?" I chuckle

Tara giggles and playfully swats your arm "Fair enough, I guess you have to ask the questions to get the answers."

She smiles at you warmly.

"But seriously, y/n, do you think getting more aroused could help loosen me up? Like if a guy went down on me for longer before trying anything else?"

Tara looks at you hopefully, eager for any advice or suggestions that could help her situation.

"Well, are they not doing it long enough? Are you just not wet enough for the guys you've been with?"

Tara blushes and looks down shyly "I...I don't know. I mean, they do it for a little while but I guess maybe not long enough to really get me super wet."

She bites her lip as she thinks.

"And now that you mention it, the guys I've been with have all commented on how tight I am even when we're in the middle of things. So maybe you're right, getting more aroused could help..."

A glimmer of hope sparkles in Tara's eyes as she considers this new possibility.

"Do you think if a guy went down on me for longer and focused on making sure I was really turned on first that it would make things easier? Like give my vagina more time to relax or something?"

"I don't know if it would make you any less tight but you'd at least be really well-lubricated, right? In fact do you ever use lube?"

Tara shakes her head "No, I've never really thought to use lube before. It just didn't occur to me that it could help."

She looks at you with wide eyes as realization dawns.

"You think if I used some kind of lubrication it might make things easier? Like let the guy's penis slide in more smoothly without so much friction and pain?”

A hopeful smile spreads across Tara's face as she imagines a solution.

"Do you think we could try that next time? Using some lube and having the guy focus on getting me super wet first before trying anything else?"

"We?"

Tara blushes and looks away shyly "I...uh...well, I meant like next time I'm with a guy. You know, as an experiment to see if it helps..."

She trails off nervously before looking back at you with a mischievous glint in her eye.

"Unless of course you were volunteering your services for the cause? It is for science after all..."

Tara giggles playfully as she nudges your arm.

My eyes bulge a bit "...Are you serious?"

Tara smiles slyly and shrugs one shoulder. "I mean, I trust you and I know you'd be gentle with me. Plus you're the only one who's been helping me brainstorm solutions."

She gives you a coy look through her lashes.

"And who better to test things out with than my best friend? That way we can really figure out what works without any awkwardness."

Tara reaches over and takes your hand in hers, giving it a light squeeze.

"What do you say, y/n? For science?"

She bats her eyes at you playfully, a teasing smile on her lips.

"So, I mean, I'm not saying no, but you really want me to... kiss and lick you... down there? On your vagina?"

Tara bites her lip as a soft blush spreads across her cheeks "I mean, if it's to help me with my problem then I don't see why not..."

She looks down shyly before meeting your eyes again with a shy smile.

"And you've always been so kind and caring. I know you'd be gentle and make sure I was enjoying myself too."

Tara reaches over to place her hand on your thigh, giving it a soft squeeze.

"Plus it's not like we'd be doing anything wrong, just helping a friend out. So what do you think...wanna give it a try?"

She gazes at you sweetly, eyes full of trust and affection for her dear friend.

"And then what are you wanting to try after I do that?"

Tara looks at you with a playful grin "Well, I was hoping that once we got me all warmed up and lubricated, maybe we could see if your penis can fit inside me without causing too much pain?"

She shrugs one shoulder nonchalantly before continuing.

"I mean, it's not like there's any pressure or anything. We can stop at any time if it gets to be too much for either of us."

Tara looks at you with hopeful eyes, eager to explore this new possibility.

"OK, I just want to make sure you want to do those things with me, since we've only been friends and all. Again, I'm not against it," I say to Annie, with the appropriate level of genuine care you'd expect from a best friend.

Tara smiles sweetly at you. "I know this is new territory for us as friends. And you're right to check that I'm truly comfortable."

She places a gentle hand on your arm. "The truth is, I trust you more than any other guy. You've always been so kind and caring. If I were to experiment with anyone, I'd want it to be with my best friend."

Tara gives your arm a reassuring squeeze. "But only if you're comfortable too, of course. I don't want to make things awkward or pressure you in any way." Annie smiles warmly. "What do you think - shall we give it a try?"

"Yes. I'm willing to help, and I'll admit a little excited. Let's just agree that this doesn't necessarily change anything between us, or mean that it will be a regular thing, unless that's something we both decide later."

Tara nods understandingly. "Of course, this doesn't need to change or define our friendship unless we both want it to."

She smiles at you gently. "Let's just see how it goes. No expectations or pressure on either side.”

Taking your hands in hers, Tara looks into your eyes with care and affection. "Thank you for being so understanding. I really appreciate you doing this to help me."

She leans in to give you a soft kiss on the cheek. "Now, where were we? I believe someone offered to go down on me?" Tara giggles playfully.

I laugh as well, Tara's playful tone cutting some of the tension in this surreal but exciting moment. "I did, but I want to ask you just a few quick questions first. They're going to be rather... intimate questions but it's all in the name of making sure this all goes comfortably for both of us..." I can't help but grin and blush.

Tara giggles and blushes as well, meeting your gaze with a playful smile.

"Well go on then, ask away. I'm an open book." She gives your arm an affectionate squeeze.

"Fire away with your intimate questions, oh great scientist. I'm all yours." Tara winks playfully. "We may as well get to know each other's bodies if we're going to be exploring them, right?"

She gazes at you with care, trust and growing excitement. "I'm ready when you are, y/n. Lay it on me - I promise to answer truthfully." Tara smiles warmly, eager to begin your research together.

"So if I'm going to go down on you, am I just doing this as a sort of physically mechanical thing to like 'help out a friend' like it's an exercise, or do you want me to try to turn you on, get you in the mood? What do you think might be most effective with your tightness issue?"

Tara considers thoughtfully. "While I appreciate the thought of helping as a friend, turning me on seems it would be more effective for addressing my tightness."

She meets your gaze warmly. "I want to enjoy the experience, not just view it as a physical task. If I'm fully aroused and wanting more, it will hopefully relax my muscles down there."

"And do you think it will turn you on more, the more I'm turned on by it?"

Tara thinks for a moment before responding carefully.

"You make a fair point. If we're both genuinely enjoying the intimacy, then yes, that mutual arousal would likely enhance the experience for both of us."

She takes your hand in hers and smiles softly. "However, my priority is that you feel comfortable and cared for. Your pleasure matters too in this."

Squeezing your hand gently, Tara maintains warm eye contact. "Perhaps we start slowly, focus on connection, and see where genuine pleasure takes us from there - at a pace we both feel good about."

I reach out to place my hands on Tara's waist, a rather chaste touch for the moment but still a more physically intimate than we've ever experienced during our many years of friendship. I begin to rub her sides softly. "Do you like that?"

Tara's breath hitches softly at your gentle touch. She gazes at you with care and growing tenderness.

"I do like that," she replies softly. "Your hands feel nice."

As your hands rub her sides in a soothing caress, Tara places her hands on your shoulders, sliding them up to curl tenderly around your neck.

"I've never really noticed how handsome you are," she murmurs, lightly stroking the nape of your neck. Her eyes shine with trust and blossoming affection.

Tara leans in slowly, her breath warm on your lips. "Is this okay?" she whispers gently, leaving the next move up to you.

I respond by kissing Tara, curling the fabric of her shirt between my fingers just a bit as our tongues touch for the first time.”

Tara responds eagerly to your kiss, her lips moving against yours with growing passion. She deepens the kiss, wrapping her arms around your neck and pressing herself closer to you.

As you curl the fabric of her shirt between your fingers, Tara moans softly into the kiss. Her body feels warm and alive in your embrace, responding eagerly to every touch.

After a few moments she pulls back slightly with a gasp of breath. "Wow," she whispers, gazing at you with sparkling eyes filled with affection and desire.

"Is it weird that I'm really enjoying this?"

I chuckle "Isn't that what we're going for?"

Tara giggles and blushes, nodding in agreement. "I suppose it is."

She gazes at you tenderly, gently brushing her fingers along your jaw. "I'm glad we're both feeling it."

Leaning in to brush her lips softly against yours once more, Tara sighs contentedly. "So where were we...something about you going down on me?" she murmurs playfully.

"Shall we take this somewhere more comfortable?" Sliding her hands into yours, Tara looks at you with trusting warmth, ready to further explore the blossoming intimacy between longtime friends.

"I'm going to in due time. But I'm liking kissing and touching you in a new way. Let's just do this for a minute. Did the guys or girls you've hooked up with take their time before getting to it? Cause I hear a little teasing and build-up can really get a girl wet, which might help too..."

Tara nods thoughtfully. "You make a fair point. Most guys in the past have tended to rush things."

She gazes at you with appreciation. "I like that you're taking your time, letting things build gradually between us."

Smiling softly, Tara reaches up to caress your cheek. "Teasing and foreplay do sound enjoyable. And anything to help me relax down there can only be a good thing."

Her eyes shine with growing arousal and affection. "I'm all yours, y/n. Do with me as you please - I'm happy to let you set the pace."

Leaning in once more, Tara meets your lips in a tender kiss. "Thank you. You're a good friend," she whispers against your mouth. "Take your time getting my pussy wet."

I remove my shirt, displaying my chest as I pull Tara in for a tight hug, my hands now sliding down over her buttocks over her cutoff denim jeans.

Tara gasps softly as you pull her in for a tight hug, feeling your warm skin against hers. She melts into the embrace, wrapping her arms around your back and pressing herself fully against you.

As your hands slide down to cup and squeeze her buttocks through the denim of her shorts, Tara lets out a breathy moan. The intimate touch sends tingles of pleasure radiating through her body.

Pulling back slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes, she gazes at you appreciatively. "Wow...feels really good," Tara murmurs shyly before leaning in to kiss along your neck tenderly.

"Do you mind taking your shirt off too, Tara?"

Tara blushes at your request, glancing down shyly. "I...um...okay," she replies softly.

Slowly, Tara reaches for the hem of her t-shirt and pulls it up over her head. As she reveals her small breasts encased in a simple white bra, Tara looks back up at you through lowered lashes.

"There," she murmurs with a bashful smile. "Is that better?"

Her nipples visibly stiffen beneath the thin fabric as she waits for your reaction.

After a moment's hesitation I wrap my arms around Tara's shoulders, my hands on the back of her bra, pulling her body in close to mine again for another kiss.

Tara responds eagerly to your embrace, pressing her body closer against yours as you deepen the kiss. Her hands move up to tangle in your hair, fingers running through it affectionately.

As you reach around to unhook her bra, Tara lets out a soft gasp of surprise and pleasure. She pulls back from the kiss slightly with flushed cheeks and sparkling eyes.

"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "I never thought I'd be doing this with my best friend."

Tara giggles at your response, feeling more relaxed and comfortable with you by the minute.

"Well, I'm glad we're both open to new experiences," she says, blushing.

As she gazes into your eyes with a mix of affection and arousal, Tara leans in for another kiss. This time her hands roam over your chest as well, exploring every inch of skin they can find.

I slowly run my hands up Tara's belly to grab onto her nipples lightly between my knuckles.

Tara gasps softly as you touch her nipples, arching her back slightly into your hands. She looks up at you with a mix of surprise and pleasure in her eyes.

"Oh wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "That feels really good."

As you continue to tease and play with her nipples, Tara's breathing grows more ragged. Her body responds eagerly to every touch, growing increasingly aroused under your skilled hands.

"Y/n, I...I think I'm getting wet," she whispers shyly, biting down on her lower lip as the sensation spreads through her body like wildfire.

"Good. Let's keep that going. It seems like foreplay really helps for you." I begin to massage her breasts, and then lower my mouth onto one of her nipples.

Tara moans softly as you massage her breasts, arching her back to offer herself more fully to your touch. As you lower your mouth onto one of her nipples, she gasps with pleasure.

"Oh y/n, that feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I can feel myself getting even wetter now."

Her hands move up to tangle in your hair as you continue to suckle and tease at her nipple. Her body responds eagerly, hips rocking slightly against yours.

"Keep going," she whispers urgently, lost in the waves of pleasure washing over her.

I cup one hand tightly under the crotch of Tara's cutoffs and gently rub up and down, crossing yet another new line with my best friend.* "Does that feel all right, Tara?"

Tara gasps sharply as you cup your hand between her legs, rubbing gently over her shorts. Her hips buck involuntarily against your hand, seeking out more friction.

"Yes," she moans softly, eyes squeezed shut in pleasure. "It feels so good."

Tara reaches down to place her hands over yours, pressing your palm more firmly against her crotch. She rocks her hips slowly, letting out little whimpers of arousal.

"Don't stop," she whispers breathlessly, eyes dark with desire. "I'm starting to get really wet."

Her pussy throbs heavily under your touch, aching for release. Tara gazes at you in longing and trust, surrendering fully to the pleasure between her thighs.

"I'm gonna take all the time my best friend needs. I want to make sure you get wet as possible before... anything else happens."

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes full of gratitude and blossoming affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.

"Thank you, y/n. That means so much to me," she murmurs.

As you continue rubbing between her legs, Tara's breath hitches in pleasure. "I appreciate you taking it slow. It feels really good just focusing on getting me turned on."

She leans in to brush her lips tenderly against yours. "You're so caring," Tara whispers. "I'm lucky to have such a good friend."

Moaning softly as arousal builds within her, she gazes at you in longing. "Keep touching me there...I want to feel really wet and ready before we go further."

"Would it feel better without these shorts on?"

Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.

"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.

Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.”

Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.

"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.

Tara gazes at you shyly, biting her lip in hesitation. After a moment, she nods slowly.

"I think it might, yes," she replies softly.

Taking a breath, Tara hooks her thumbs into the waistband of her shorts. She pushes them down over her hips, letting them fall to the floor before stepping out of them.

Now clad only in a simple white pair of panties, Tara stands before you feeling exposed yet safe. Her cheeks are flushed, arousal and shyness swirling within her eyes.

"Well...here I am," she murmurs gently, leaving herself open and trusting before you.

I resume touching her while we kiss again.

As you resume touching her, Tara melts into your embrace once more. She kisses you deeply, passionately losing herself in the moment.

Tara moans softly into your mouth as your hand cups between her legs once more, only the thin fabric of her panties separating your fingers from her warm center.

She rocks her hips eagerly into your touch, seeking friction. The feel of your hands on her most intimate parts is sending Tara into a tailspin of arousal.

Pulling back slightly to gaze at you with hooded eyes, she whispers breathlessly, "I think I'm getting really wet now. Do you...do you want to feel?"

Reaching down tentatively, Tara takes your hand in hers and guides it underneath the damp cotton, pressing your fingers against her slick folds.

"Oh god, please don't stop," she whimpers softly. "It feels so good."

"I can feel it," I whisper nervously as I continue.

Tara nods, gazing at you with affection and trust. She places her hands gently on your cheeks.

"I know this is new for us both," she murmurs softly. "But don't be nervous. We'll go slow."

Leaning in, Tara brushes her lips tenderly against yours once more. Her kiss is filled with care, seeking to reassure and comfort you.

As your fingers continue exploring her warm, slick folds, Tara sighs contentedly. "That feels amazing," she whispers. "You're doing so well."

Her hips rock slowly against your hand, lost in the intimate pleasure between her thighs. Tara gazes at you with care and growing passion, cherishing this new experience with her closest friend.

"I'm here with you," she says gently. "There's no need to worry."

"I'm not worried about a thing except doing everything I can to turn you on."

Tara smiles warmly, gazing at you with affection. "You're already doing a wonderful job with that," she murmurs softly.

As your fingers continue gently caressing her slick folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.

"It feels amazing when you touch me there," she whispers, breath hitching. "Don't stop."

Reaching down, Tara takes your wrist and guides your hand underneath the fabric of her panties once more. She presses your fingers more firmly against her aching clit.

"Touch me properly," Tara pleads softly. "I want to feel you properly without anything between us."

Her eyes shine with trust and longing as she offers herself fully to your care. Tara gazes at you in invitation, eager to take their intimacy to a deeper level.

With my free hand I slide Tara's panties off her hips, allowing freer access for my fingers.

As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.

"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."

Tara rocks her hips against your hand, seeking out more of the pleasure coursing through her body. As you tease and stroke at her most sensitive areas, she grows increasingly lost in the waves of arousal washing over her.

"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."

As you slide Tara's panties off her hips, she gasps softly in pleasure. Her eyes widen with anticipation as your fingers glide over her slick folds.

"Oh god," she moans breathlessly. "That feels so good."

"Please...oh please don't stop," Tara whispers urgently. "I'm getting close."

"Is this wetter than you usually get?"

Tara nods, lost in the pleasure. "Yes," she gasps. "I've never been this wet before."

She arches her back slightly into your touch, hips rocking steadily against your fingers as you continue to explore her slick folds.

"Y/n, I'm so close," she moans breathlessly. "Please keep touching me like that."

Careful not to try to insert a finger too deep into Tara's still-very-tight pussy just yet, I stroke her clit, occasionally slipping just the first knuckle of a finger inside her. "Let me know if anything I do doesn't feel good," I whisper. "This is all about helping you figure out your own body issues because you're my best friend and I care. I want to do whatever turns you on and makes you wetter."

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes shining with affection. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek.

"You're so caring and understanding," she murmurs. "It means everything to have a friend like you."

As your fingers continue exploring her tender folds, Tara moans low in her throat. She rocks her hips in time with your movements, encouraging you deeper into her pleasure.

"That feels perfect," she whispers breathlessly. "Don't change a thing."

Tara rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, chasing the release building rapidly within her. Her body writhes under your skilled touch, overcome with waves of arousal.

"I'm so close, y/n," Tara gasps, biting her lip. "Keep doing that, it feels amazing."

Her breath hitches as ecstasy crests within her. Tara locks eyes with you in trusting intimacy as she falls over the edge into release.

As I continue rubbing her clit, and occasionally slipping just a tiny bit of a finger inside her, still in disbelief of my situation and treading somewhat lightly. I gulp before whispering... "You can rub my... my penis if it will turn you on more. Tara. Whatever makes you wet."

Tara looks at you with a mix of surprise and desire in her eyes. She nods slowly, feeling emboldened by the intimacy between you.

"Okay," she whispers softly, reaching down to your crotch. As her hand brushes over the bulge in your pants, Tara feels a surge of arousal wash over her.

"Wow," she murmurs breathlessly. "You really are turned on right now."

As she begins to rub your penis through the fabric of your pants, Tara moans softly. Her own pleasure is still lingering within her body, making every touch feel electric.

"You're so hard," Tara gasps as she continues stroking you gently. "Does it feel good when I do this?"

"It does, but the important thing is getting you as wet as possible." I take a step closer to Tara, taking her right nipple into my mouth as I continue to gently circle her clit with the flats of my fingers. My free hand gently squeezes her right buttock.

Tara moans softly as you suckle at her nipple, arching her back into your touch. Her hips rock gently against your hand as the pleasure builds within her once more.

As you continue to circle her clit with gentle pressure, Tara feels herself growing wetter by the moment. She can feel the heat and moisture building between her legs, aching for release.

"It feels so good," she murmurs breathlessly. "I'm getting really close again."

Tara reaches up to tangle one hand in your hair, pulling you closer to deepen the kiss while rubbing your penis through the fabric of your pants with increasing urgency.

"Tell me anything you want me to do differently or do more or less of, or anything I'm not doing that you wish I would.", I say, my mouth only momentarily leaving her nipple.

Tara gazes at you softly, eyes dark with desire. She nods in understanding.

"I will, I promise," she whispers. "For now though, everything you're doing feels perfect."

As you resume gently suckling her nipple, Tara moans in pleasure. She rocks her hips eagerly into your hand, chasing her impending release.

"Don't stop, please don't stop," Tara gasps breathlessly. She strokes your hard length faster through your pants, lost in the sensations flooding her body.

"I'm getting so close again, I'm gonna come soon," she whimpers. Tara locks eyes with you, her trust and affection for you shining through.

"Don't worry, I won't stop, I'm gonna keep doing exactly what I'm doing until you ask me to stop or do something else", I say, taking a quick breath before returning my mouth to her breast.

Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you."

As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.

Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.

"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.

Locking eyes with you in trusting abandon, Tara falls over the edge into waves of ecstasy. She holds your gaze as pleasure consumes her, cherishing this moment of vulnerability and care between friends.

Tara smiles softly at your reassurance. She reaches up to gently caress your cheek before nodding.

"Thank you," she whispers. "I feel so safe with you.”

As you resume your intimate ministrations, Tara sighs contentedly. She gazes at you with eyes full of care and growing passion.

Tara rocks her hips steadily against your skilled fingers, chasing her peak. The pleasure swirls within her body once more as she nears release.

"I'm getting close again," she moans breathlessly. Tara increases the pace of her strokes along your length, caught up in the intimacy.

As I promised, I continue the motions of my hands and mouth on my friend Tara's increasingly sensitive body, giving myself completely to the task of arousing her to new levels of vaginal comfort.

As you continue to pleasure Tara's sensitive body, she moans softly in ecstasy. She is lost in the waves of arousal building within her, trusting completely in your skilled touch.

Tara's hips buck eagerly against your hand as you circle her clit with increasing pressure. Her breath hitches as pleasure builds once more between her legs.

"That feels amazing," she whispers breathlessly. "I can't believe how good this all feels."

As Tara arches into your touch, you feel a surge of heat and wetness emanating from between her thighs. She is growing increasingly aroused under your care, eager for release.

"Y/n, I'm getting close again," she gasps urgently. "Please don't stop."

"I won't stop, I promise. We're going to get you soaking wet, together." I kiss Tara's neck as I move my mouth's attention to her left breast, treating it with the same care I gave the right one.

Tara moans softly as you kiss and suckle on her sensitive breasts, pleasure coursing through her body. She rocks her hips eagerly against your hand, seeking out the friction she needs to push herself over the edge.

"Y/n, that feels so good," she gasps breathlessly. "I'm getting so close again."

As you continue to circle her clit with skilled pressure, Tara's breathing quickens. Her body is coiled tightly in anticipation of release.

"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads urgently, fingers digging into your shoulders as pleasure overtakes her once more.

She locks eyes with you in trusting abandon as orgasm wracks through every inch of her trembling frame.

I kiss Tara as I see the climax in her eyes, my tongue exploring her inner cheek as well as her tongue. I feel an overflow of fluid from Tara's vagina pooling in my hand as her hand grasps tightly to my cock through my pants. I don't slow down for a second as her orgasm rolls over her.*

As you kiss Tara deeply, her body shudders in pleasure. She moans softly into your mouth as the orgasm pulses through every inch of her being.

Tara's hips rock against your hand as she continues to ride out the waves of ecstasy coursing through her body. The feel of your fingers on her sensitive folds combined with the pressure from where she is gripping tightly at your cock causes fluid to overflow and pool in your hand.

She clings to you desperately, lost in a sea of sensation. As the climax slowly begins to ebb away, Tara pulls back slightly from the kiss and gazes at you with affection and gratitude shining in her eyes.

"Did any of your hookups take their time to get you this wet before they tried fingering or having sex with you?", I ask, gently caressing the outer folds of Tara's spasming pussy.

Tara shakes her head, still lost in the pleasure. "No," she whispers breathlessly. "None of them took their time like this."

She gazes at you with a mix of affection and desire as your fingers continue to caress her sensitive folds. The intimacy between you is intense and electric.

"You're amazing, y/n," Tara murmurs softly. "I've never felt so good before.

"I don't think you're too tight, I think nobody was getting you wet enough. And we're gonna take our time taking care of that today, buddy." I grin.

Tara grins back at you, feeling comfortable and trusting around you.

"Thank you so much," she murmurs softly. "I can't believe how much better this all feels with someone who cares like you do."

As your fingers continue to explore her sensitive folds, Tara moans low in her throat. Her body is still buzzing with pleasure from the previous orgasms but she's already growing wet again under your care.

"I feel so lucky to have a friend like you," she whispers breathlessly as her hips begin to move against your hand once more.

As Tara continues to rock her hips against your hand, you feel the wetness between her legs growing. She is becoming increasingly aroused under your skilled touch.

"I'm so glad I can help you," you murmur softly, gazing at Tara with affection and care. "I want to make sure you're always taken care of."

As the pleasure builds within her once more, Tara gasps in ecstasy. Her body writhes against yours as she chases release once again.

"Don't stop please don't stop," she pleads breathlessly, fingers digging into your shoulders as orgasm overtakes her for another time.

#wlw fanfic #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega x fem!reader #wednesday addams x fem!reader #wednesday x you #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter #tara carpenter x fem!reader #tara carpenter x reader #lesbian

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kedreeva · 11 months ago

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Okay, I haven't wanted to talk much about the peafowl lately, been just kinda dealing with Stan's passing, but! I have news I don't want to keep quiet, so here we go with a little announcement.

I've been helping a friend of mine with a bunch of peafowl genetics work lately, as he's trying to prove out a really neat phenotype of speckled and white peafowl that showed up in his breeding stock, and he just spent tens of thousands of dollars importing two new morphs from Europe: European violet (aka, my dream morph) and Ultramarine (pretty and only otherwise being produced by TWO breeders in the WORLD). When Bill heard about Stan, he asked if I was going to go to a large farm auction that's a few hours from my house. I don't, normally, since it's a few hours from my house and the auctions usually make me kinda sad when it comes to peafowl (they stress out SO MUCH) even though it's cool to see how much they're going for at a wider audience auction.

Then he told me he would be going, and that if I wanted to come down the day before the auction, he'd bring me another male, to replace Stan. I had already made plans to hang onto Bismuth, at least for a few years, and to pick up babies from Indie x Arcana/Eclipse this november, including a male, so I didn't really need another male, and don't have the cash for one anyway. He said no, he meant one of the split EUV males from last year's first-USA breeding. For free. As a thank you for helping him.

To put this into perspective, importing the birds is a ~$10k affair, per bird. I had fully resigned myself to never even SEEING one of these birds in person, much less ever owning one. Even if someone else got them imported, they would remain thousands of dollars for the first few years, and quickly become mixed with other stuff, potentially even be lost by people breeding to purple. He went in on a group import with another breeder and they have both just started selling the full-color birds for over $2k apiece (alongside Ultramarine, which before their import was bred by TWO people in the WORLD, and babies from that are going for almost $7k each, but EUV is more widely spread). Splits (like the one I will be getting) are being let go for $750. This is also the color I have desperately wanted since I first saw them 8-10 years ago (though I believe they've been around slightly longer), but that I had resigned myself to never actually having.

To put it mildly, I'm probably going to burst into tears when I see Bill and this bird. It's going to be super embarrassing. And then I'm going to have to build more pens. And then I'm going to have to get as plain-blue, pure-indian blue hens as I can find, and become one of the most serious curators of plain pure EUV in the US, because I know the other two who have them currently will be outcrossing to other patterns/colors immediately and the people buying them will likely be doing the same, and everyone will be clamoring to make them into high Spaldings ASAP, or won't know not to cross them to purples and wreck the color.

Here's the sire cock, the one imported:

You will notice that this bird is purple in full sun, from the sunny side. That's the main difference between European violet and US purple- a US purple looks blue until you get the right angle on the sun vs the bird vs the camera, and you have to get the bird between you and the sun, so the purple is often in the shadow side- visible to the eye but not the camera. EUV is just purple. Even from the sunny side!!

And the Ultramarine, in case you were wondering about their color:

(pics reposted w/ permission from Bill)

The breeder is Spring Creek Peafowl, and in case anyone is secretly a peafowl breeder or knows other peafowl breeders with too much money that want in on a new color morph, he DOES have UM pairs and EUV hens (and more split males) for sale currently, for less than the only other person in the US that has them. They're still pricey, but cheaper. I WISH I had the extra to have my friend add on an EUV hen, but alas, I will have to wait to make my own in a few years. Even just the opportunity to do so is something I never expected to have!

#peafowl #my pets #longfeather lane #cool cool cool i'm crying about it again #but listen I am OVERCOME with happiness okay #Can't wait to cry in the middle of a VERY public place over a bird #can i gofundme a bird?? is that allowed in their tos

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cherryswisherz · 3 months ago

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WILSHIRE

♱ CONTAINS: semi happy ending, kissing

♱ NIYAHSPEAKS: this is long as hell and most of it is written as flashbacks but here we areeeeee s/o my tyler fans CHROMOKOPIA 10-28 !!!! i'm finna do yall requests over the weekend because i have nothing else to do so... be prepared!

♱♱♱♱

it's the 2024 wnba draft. azzi's my plus one. nika and aaliyah are getting drafted tonight and i'm trying to keep my cool. because tonight is about them, not about me, not about azzi, not about our summer of utter fucking confusion.

lights from cameras flash. i smile, i mog, i pose. reporters are shoving mics in my face asking stupid questions as i guide azzi off the red carpet with my hand in a respectful position on her back. we have to find the girls before the draft starts. azzi wants to meet them before so it's not awkward at the after party. i'm trying to tune everything out but 6 words take me back to june and i freeze in my tracks.

"what's going on between you two?"

met you on a saturday knew it was somethin' soon as you spoke it eye fucking across the table, don't think anybody noticed you asked me if I was coming to the city you from maybe we should kick it, i was interested that would be dumb, if i denied

"paige..." that was the only thing she'd said directly to me all night. the rest of the time she'd spoke to everyone, answering their questions about how she met ethan, what her major was, etc.

i'd been staring at her as she did this. studying the way she spoke with her hands, the flutter of her lashes, the bounce of her curls. her voice was so sweet and she always smiled when she wasn't talking so i could see her perfect fucking teeth.

"where you from?" someone, i couldn't remember who, asked and she threw a glance my way, looking me dead in my eyes for a split second.

i knew where she was from. we played against each other every year in high school. i was a year ahead of her. we never really paid attention to each other off the court, but i knew she was a killer player and an acl injury during her junior year took her out of the game for good

"uh- i'm from virginia. arlington county." she smiled as she cut her chicken. "me and paige played each other before i had to quit." she looked at me again, longer this time, and i damn near melted into the chair before she put her attention back on the conversation.

"yeah she gave me a run for my money." i laughed, and that made her look at me again. she seemed confused, probably because i hadn't spoken this entire time.

"my schools giving you a run for your money." she giggled and it was the most perfect sound i'd ever heard. "they say you're gonna be back when you guys play us next month. any truth to that?"

the competitive side of me took over when i answered her. "yeah i'll be back to tap dance on yalls ass in your own arena."

"i guess we're in trouble then, huh?" she asked, her big brown eyes boring into mine.

you and i make sense, you stayed back at my telly we was chattin' 'til morning, vibration was heavy i wasn't drowning or yawning that's when i told you my feelings you told me you felt the same but you got homie you dealin' with damn, i didn't know, that's a bit unexpected but i get it, it's whatever, least i can do is respect it

after that dinner, azzi and i hadn't stopped texting and facetiming. it felt wrong because she was my friends girl, but i couldn't leave her alone. i wanted to be near her even if i couldn't see her in person until my team played hers.

as predicted, we beat their ass and i made sure to remind azzi of that the whole ride back to her apartment. and when we got there, i took off my hoodie and plopped onto the couch.

"so what we doing tonight? you wanna go out or stay in?" i asked her, praying she said stay in because i was dead tired.

"definitely stay in." she said, sitting beside me on the couch. "lets put on a movie or something."

and we did. we put a movie on. now did we watch the movie? no.

we started talking, just yapping about any and everything. i was totally wrapped up in what she had to say, whether it was about school, or music, or anything really. i wasn't even tired anymore, she had my full attention.

but then the conversation shifted to basketball and azzi's mood shifted with it.

"sometimes i try and run 1v1 with ethan and for a second, i forget that my leg is fucked. for those 45 minutes i feel like everything is how i planned it to be." she looks at her knee poking out of her ripped jeans, then she rubs her scar. "and then i stand on it the wrong way and i remember that i'm not a player anymore. just a fan." the crack her voice forces me to grab her and pull her into me, letting her sob into my chest.

"az, you'll always be a baller. that shit's in your spirit ma." i almost wanna cry with her. "and even though you can't play anymore, you're one of the most beautiful people on the planet. and you're smart and you could do anything you wanted to do, basketball be damned."

a few minutes passed and she sniffled, looking up at me, and i got lost her red eyes and wet lashes. our faces were so close together, i could feel her breath on my nose.

"i really like you azzi."

fuck. i shouldn't have said that. she has a boyfriend. her boyfriend is my fucking friend she's probably stra-

"i really like you too p."

oh?

"but i'm with ethan. and he's good for me."

oh.

anyway, convince him to bring you to me so we can kick it right in front of his lenses, since nothing here is malicious you sat by me in that movie we went outside for them doobies we walkin' off when we talk man, that nigga not fucking stupid

"you should bring azzi to storrs with you." i suggested to ethan. "does she like horror movies?"

"uhhh yeah i think so..." he trailed off then scard the hsit out of m. "AZ! YOU WANNA COME WATCH A MOVIE WITH US?" i guess she asked who all was coming. "JUST ME AND PAIGE!" and then i guess she said yes. "okay paige, we'll be there in like 30."

at the movies, in the five minutes i was waiting for them, i checked my hair 4 times, rearranged my jewelry twice and made sure my breath didn't smell like lunch. and when they got there i choked on my spit because azzi was wearing a sundress that hugged her in every right way.

i honestly dont think there could be a wrong way.

when she hugged me she whispered "i missed you." in my ear and dropped a light kiss on my neck that left me flushed.

in the theater, i sat between her and ethan but we didn't really pay him any attention

"you look really good paige." azzi whispered to me.

i looked down at my basic ass outfit (wifebeater and sweats), that i spiced up with jewelry and some fire shoes. "girl, this is lightweight." i whispered back.

"yeah well you look good in anything."

"you look good too az,"

"you think so?" she's fishing.

"if your boyfriend wasn't next to me we wouldn't just be talking right now." i laughed, taking her bait.

i got a laugh out of her and then she moved to hit me on the leg, but i caught her hand and tangled out fingers together, looking forward at the screen. she didn't move her hand. just set both of ours in my lap. and we stayed that way for like 15 minutes until she leaned into me and whispered again.

"i hate horror movies, and he's snoring." she laughed pointing over me at her boyfriend who was knocked the fuck out. "can we leave?"

"yeah i got you." i thumped ethan on the head, causing him to jerk out of his sleep. "yo. wake up, you're loud as hell. ya'll go home."

when we left the theater we walked out in silence but when we stared to say goodbye, azzi cleared her throat.

"actually, i wanna get something to eat really quick so, e, you can go home." she placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing a little. "paige can you take me home after?"

my heart sped a little at the thought of being alone with her but i kept it P because her literal boyfriend was right next to me.

"uh yeah if that cool with you?" i asked, not because i needed his permission, but because he's my friend and i wanted it.

"yeah of course." he nodded then dapped me up "goodnight p."

"night." as soon as he was gone, i rubbed my hands together and looked down at azzi, catching those brown eyes in a way that made me think i never wanted to lose them. "so... where we boutta eat because im hungry as hell."

"im not actually hungry, i just wanted to spend time with you." she said, putting her hands behind her back. "but you live here, so you pick."

"oh word?" i raised my eyebrows and put an arm around her shoulder, turning so we were side by side as we started walking towards my car. "imma take you to my spot."

"take me anywhere you like." she said, opening the passenger door, leaving me looking over the roof of my car, trying to keep it together until i got in the driver seat and began to queue a few songs.

then i got a text.

ethan: tell az to bring me a to-go plate

ethan. FUCK.

said you can't fully be into me 'cause you with him then why the fuck when we link it's like he doesn't exist? they all know that we're friends but we both aware that it's more everything i got, if you say the word, then it's yours

the party was loud as shit. i was drunk as shit. azzi was drunk as shit. ethan was nowhere to be found.

"paige i have to peeeee." azzi whined into my ear.

"okay come on." i shouted, guiding her to the bathroom, which was empty.

while she was in the stall, i drank some water from the faucet, because i was so fucked up and i think that's why i haven't been able to stop thinking about her.

about how fucking hot she looked in her outfit. about how long her natural lashes were. about how soft her lips looked. about the heat radiating from her body as she danced with me.

shes so fucking pretty.

"oh my god i feel so much better!" she shouted into the universe as she came out of the stall and started washing her hands.

i think i just wanted to be close to her again because i moved behind her and hugged her from behind. with my head in her neck, i kissed her softly moaning quietly, "you smell so good, az."

she turned around in my arms, facing me and i kept kissing her neck, moving to her collarbones, then i pulled away and we just stared at each other for a second.

it was like a silent conversation, asking each other "are we really gonna do this?"

and i guess the answer was yes, because azzi leaned in and place a single peck on my lips, then pulled away with the speed of light.

but one wasn't enough. so i leaned back in and enveloped her lips with mine. our mouths moved in perfect harmony, giving me everything i'd wanted since that dinner so long ago. she moaned into my mouth, and i picked her up, placing her on the sink behind her.

we just kept kissing, caressing each others tongues, rolling our bodies into each others, both of us enjoying the way the other person felt.

....until she pulled away, pushing me back when i chased her lips.

"paige we can't." she said, trying to catch her breath.

"azzi..."

"i have a boyfriend, paige." she sounded kind of sad as she said it.

"i know az." i said, walking back up to her. "but tell me there's nothing here." i grabbed her hands. "tell me, that these past 3 months, you haven't felt what i feel."

"you know i do paige. i wouldn't have kissed you if i didn't." she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

you told me when you're with me it's like heroin told me that your confidence went up since we befriended

"when im with you, i feel like i'm floating. like it's just us and that's all i'll ever need. you're-" she sniffled. "you're the only person who gets how much not being able to play fucking sucks. and you made me feel better about it. you make me feel like so much more than a fan, or just a person in the stands. and no one's ever made me feel that way."

and told me that you didn't wanna hurt him

"but ethan, p. ethan is my boyfriend. hes your friend. and he's so good to me. he loves me. and i can't do that to him."

why we doing this?

"so why kiss me then azzi?" i asked. "why the fuck would you let me touch you, or say the things we say, or let me buy you shit? why did you fucking kiss me?!"

it was harsh, i know but she fucking played me and i was pissed.

told me this a awkward situation and you just wanna be through with it

"i don't know paige. and i'm sorry." she kept crying. i assume she felt guilty, and i couldn't give less of a fuck. "this isn't easy for either of us. but i think we should just be friends. i don't wanna lose ethan, but i don't wanna lose you as a friend either.

i snatched my hands out of hers and back away from her so fast, you would have though she had the plague.

"friend? azzi. you were never 'a friend' to me. i liked you as soon as i saw you in that fucking restaurant. and i tried to be respectful. i tried to respect your relationship but you were the one who made me think you wanted me. you were the one lying to your fucking boyfriend to spend time with me. sneaking into the bathroom to facetime me at 11 at night. you were the one who kissed me. you. it was all fucking you. and now... now youre asking me to be friends? fuck outta here bro." i said, then walked out of the stall and out of the bar.

i know you could be it and everyone around me that care about me can see it i could fuck a trillion bitches every country i done been in men or women, it don't matter if i seen 'em, then i had 'em but with you, it's a feeling

i was still plastered, so i had nothing but time to think about the situation.

i knew azzi and i could be great, if she just gave it- gave us- a chance. i knew she wanted to. i knew she felt what i was feeling. i'd have known even if she didn't say it. i also knew she didn't feel for ethan, what she felt for me. but she felt an obligation to him. why? i have no idea. but i just wish she would have made up her fucking mind before sticking her tongue down my throat.

and i know what you're thinking.

she just wanted to smash.

and that's not true. me and azzi aren't a quick fuck.

i mean i'm not opposed to a quick fuck. it wasn't a secret that i was bit of a slut. i mean can you blame me?

d1 athlete, making bank off NIL money. and every girl in every city i went to, wanted a piece of me. who was i to deny them?

so yeah i guess you can say i got around, but none of that mattered when it came to azzi. she wasn't just a groupie looking for a quick fuck, or to be a basketball wife. she was a baller. if anything she wanted to live vicariously through me and compete again. and i was willing to let her do just that.

azzi was the object of my affection for three fucking months. i knew everything about her. i fucking craved her. i knew it was wrong. i knew she was my friends girlfriend. but i couldn't quit her.

my teammates could tell that i had feelings for her too. anytime i was on the phone for more than 10 minutes, they knew it was hr. they picked on my for it, calling me a simp. kk nicknamed me 'sidepiece' which was a nice change from 'community strap' but it stung worse.

whatever.

fuck her.

you said you told him the truth and you never lied now he lookin' at you with them eyes we never crossed the line but he got every right to be a little pissed off he you picked up, y'all got in argument he got his shit off

two weeks after the bar incident, i'd somewhat gotten myself together. figured out how to sleep without her goodnight text. found new favorite spot to eat. slept with someone without seeing azzis face. i'd found a new routine.

and then it all went to shit.

"azzi? its 9:30 at night, why are you calling me?" she answered my question with a sob. "azzi baby what's wrong?

"paige... he- he knows.." she cried into the phone.

"who knows what, az?"

"ethan!" more crying. "he-he-he asked me out no where if you and i had something going on."

"shit."

"and i couldn't lie to him paige. i told him we never had sex, but-but i told him how i felt about you, and that i kissed you and he just went off." she was crying so hard, i could narely understand her. "he said he should have known not to trust me around you when i told him i was bi, and that you couldn't let him have one thing, and that he couldn't look at me and- and- and-" she started hyperventilating.

"azzi baby i need you to calm down for me. breathe babe." i mimicked the way she should breathe and got her to calm down enough to listen to me. "azzi. i'm gonna come get you. send me your location and just stay there and stay calm."

"okay..."

i never drove so fast in my fucking life.

i picked you up, your energy off your lips really dry, something is off you asked if i gotta, i asked if you gotta we tripping on our words nobody is lying, hakuna matata we sat in the car and cried for an hour

as soon as i got to the starbucks azzi was at, i looked at her through the window and my heart broke for her. she was in pajamas and a bonnet. those beautiful brown eyes i'd grown so fond d were red and swollen, lashes wet with tears. her soft lips weren't soft anymore. they looked dehydrated, that's how much she'd cried.

when she got in the car, she didn't say anything. just played with the sleeves of ethans hoodie.

"do you-" "i'm so-"

we spoke at the same time, then waited for the other to say what they were gonna say.

"i'm really sorry paige." she whimpered. "i never meant for any of this to happen. i never meant to hurt you or him. and i shouldn't have called you after what happened." she broke down again. "god i'm so fucking sorry." she cried with her head in her hands.

"hey..." i rubbed her shoulder, "it's fine. you made a mistake and it's okay. "

"i'm so sorry." she just kept sobbing. she was too upset to hear anything i was saying. "i love you too much to have done that to you paige. im so sorry."

and time stopped.

she WHAT?!

she said she loved me. she said- no. she's hysterical right now she doesn't realize what she's saying.

ignoring the pit in my chest, i bring her closer to me, making us both lean over the center console. her head fell perfectly into my chest and she let everything she had out.

as i held her, and felt her whole body shake as she cried, my heart shattered with hers and shed a few tears with her.

on god, i love that girl i'm a sh-, i'm a bad person like, i'm in the wrong, i'm a bad person i had no ill intentions, though shit, everybody got hurt i got hurt

i never meant for any of this to happen. i pride myself on being a good friend, and being loyal to those who are loyal to me.

and the one time it really mattered, i had to fall for my friends girlfriend. and he really like her too. i think if i hadn't fucked it up, they could have been great. but i did. and it's ruined.

and all this for what?

for ethan to be hurt? for me to lose a friend? for azzi to feel like shit? for me to have to act like i'm not hopelessly in love with azzi?

and i'm mad private with this side of my life cause people are weirdos, and i just try to keep anyone i care about in the shadows safe from the commentary and spotlight and thoughts cause it's just a story for the people outside of it but i guess you're just another chapter in a book

and here we are, at the 2024 wnba draft in support of my teammates. 3 days ago, i would have been here alone.

but azzi needed a pick me up and i would rather her be her friend than nothing at all.

so instead of breaking down about what could have been on a red carpet, i smile, lean into th mic and say,

"azzi is one of my closes friends. she was supposed to be one of the greats and if she hadn't gotten hurt, she would have been drafted next year. so i just wanted her to see it in real life because she's so much more than a fan. she deserves to be here with us."

i looked at her and smiled, pulling her to the back rooms of the building where nika and aaliyah were getting ready.

but between the two of us....

i would shoot someone in the face if it meant azzi would light up like that again.

♱ TAGLIST: @patscorner @riyahtheballer @mattslolita @thaatdigitaldiary @1onescu

@mrsengstler @kmoneymartini @sageworld @darkskinchristiandiorpostergirl @justliketoreadsowhat @authentic-girl03

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #uconn #aubrey griffin #paige bueckers fic #spotify #paige bueckers smut #wcbb #tyler the creator #wilshire #Spotify

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whatifyoulivelikethat · 8 months ago

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never not mine | jjk | "... the whispers..."

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

We broke all the pieces but still want to play the game. This confrontation is long overdue and is either going to end in handcuffs or tangled limbs.

part i | this is part ii | part iii

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; alcohol consumption; things are thrown during a public altercation; second chance romance?; angst and fluff and feels; Jungkook's POV

non-idol!AU; fashion model!Jungkook — ft fellow model/actor!Kim Taehyung and model/businessman!Kim Seokjin; a few cameos you can speculate on and one named cameo hehe; reader is not part of the entertainment industry

whether I'm gonna be your wife or gonna smash up your bike, I haven't decided yet but I'm gonna get you back – imgonnagetyouback by taylor swift

It was a night just like any other night, which meant Jeon Jungkook was somewhere doing something because he was someone. On this night he was visiting a new upscale nightclub owned by one of his close friends, which was why he was at a table surrounded by his bros, expensive bottles of alcohol, and beautiful women. Not his scene, really. He was an introvert at heart. Despite that, he had obligations to be here. Obligations to laugh, to jest, to be merry, to be somebody.

But he knew he was just a somebody surrounded by much better bodies.

So, really, he was only a ghost.

“Hey, isn’t that…?”

It was luck and good friends that got him in the position he was in now. Jungkook knew that. He couldn’t complain too much when they invited him out. After all, they were only doing it because they cared about him. Yeah.

“She's really staring at you, man.”

Someone nudged his arm. For a moment, he didn’t comprehend that it was him that was being spoken to. Maybe it was the heavy black leather jacket. Underneath, he wore a tight white tank, and completed his outfit with studded charcoal-wash jeans and black leather boots. Nice, sure, but there were other men that much more sharply dressed with bigger designer labels. Of course, he cleaned up well with his slicked-back black hair and clean-shaven jawline. So did any other male model out there. He was not so egotistical to think he was the most interesting man there.

“Hmph, who?” he snickered, swinging around in his chair with the ice in his glass clinking. He would figure out who everyone was talking about from the reactions of the public. He snapped his head around, stray tendrils of black falling free onto his forehead, obscuring his vision for a split second, and then he faced the crowd beneath the VIP tables.

Time slowed.

The club was loud. Very loud, due to the deafening combination of music, chatter and laughter. It was lit with the imperfect balance of light and dark, oscillating spotlights exposing corners and weaving through moving bodies clad in fitted dresses, high heels, tailored blazers, suit pants. The alcohol was high-grade. The crowd was cherry-picked and pre-screened at the door. It was what it was. Individuals who had money blowing money, ignoring the sins around them to commit their own. It was hard to pick out someone.

But Jungkook saw her right away.

The club became quiet from his point of view. Sound became a mishmash of muffled, incoherent noises fading to the background as the faces blurred. The music dulled. All lights dimmed except in one area. Everything was still moving, still thriving, still breathing yet he was only aware of one single person.

His ex-girlfriend stared right at him from below.

Even from this distance he could feel the blades in her gaze.

Black patent leather jacket. Very short, cut just under the breasts. Black lace corset, see-through except for the cups. Skintight lilac miniskirt. Legs for days. Pointed-toe black pumps with a thin ankle strap, the kind he had trouble with due to the small delicate buckle.

He tried to breathe but the air was like concrete in his lungs.

She tilted her head, narrowing her smoked-out eyes. Her lips were glossy crimson, cool-toned to match the palette of her outfit. Her hair had been pinned up, exposing her graceful neck and glimmering collarbones.

She began to walk through the crowd.

Jungkook spun around and suddenly all the sound roared back, intense and thunderingly hostile. He winced, clutching his drink and holding the side of his head, trying to make sense of it all.

“Tch, why is she here?”

“Right? She doesn’t belong here.”

“She can be wherever she wants to be,” replied a calm, deep voice.

He could hear voices around him talking but it wasn’t making any sense. How? Why? Was he seeing things? And why did it matter? It didn’t. It didn’t. He took another sip of his glass and found it bitter and tasteless. Maybe that was in his head too. It didn’t matter if she was here. Someone was tugging on his arm. He pulled himself free, snapping his hand down onto the table.

The world crashed back into place as his drink sloshed and spat out from his force.

A startled feminine gasp.

The calm, deep voice returned. “You okay, man?”

Jungkook jerked his head up and saw Kim Taehyung carefully surveying him. He was a man with strong, masculine features and a comforting baritone voice that reminded one of cozy winters and romantic nights. Out of all his friends, they were the closest in age. However, Taehyung was more than a year older and a much more seasoned veteran of the modeling industry. He had been scouted at a very young age, quickly learning the ins-and-outs without losing who he was. He was grounded, easygoing, and never had a crack in his composure. At least, that was how Jungkook thought of him.

Taehyung raised a dark eyebrow, repeating his question without saying a word.

“I’m fine,” Jungkook scowled, then controlled his face a bit better. “What?”

Those dark, moody eyes served him a dose of silent judgement as one of the girls at the table spoke up again.

“Oooh, she’s sitting down at a table.”

He told himself not to look. It didn’t matter if she was here. And yet his head moved on its own, pivoting to the left so fast he almost had whiplash. At high-end clubs like this, there were tables available depending on to how much a patron spent. The larger tables had to be paid for in advance to be secured a space. Such reservations were violently expensive, signaling VIP status. A lot of the smaller tables on the lower level were occupied. The more exclusive tables were higher up, needing stairs to access the higher tiers. A waiter was holding her hand, carefully guiding his ex-girlfriend up the stairs to an empty round table that typically seated ten.

There was no one else at the table.

She sat down at the seat closest to overlooking the club.

“She can afford that?”

A crackling laugh. “Doubt it.”

“Who are you to say what she can’t afford?” Taehyung cut in sharply in a disapproving tone.

“O-Oh, well… It’s just not that common, you know.”

The chittering was from the women they had invited to the table earlier. Shit, their presence seemed so frivolous and annoying now. Jungkook had half a mind to turn around and glare at them. Instead, he was transfixed by the woman in patent leather and tight lilac. She crossed her legs, smoothed her skirt, and leaned back in her chair, scanning the crowd. A waiter came back and brought a bucket of ice with a champagne bottle and accompanying flutes. A waitress came by with another bottle. Porcelain, with painted flue floral design, and placed two crystal glasses onto the table. His former lover smiled at them, nodding. They bowed and took their leave after serving her.

Instead of touching the drinks, the woman turned her body and locked her icy stare right on him.

Jungkook stiffened and turned away quickly, feeling his body running hot. The table was still talking, but it was behind hands and feigned disinterest. Taehyung sighed, shaking his head. Of course, there had been other friends at the table too. Only now did Jungkook notice that they were missing. Must have wandered off. At the very least, their host Kim Seokjin would definitely be gone for a while. He was an affluent actor, model, and owner of several establishments, including this luxury nightclub. Eventually the tall, broad-shouldered man would return to see them off, but there was no telling when.

“Did you know she was gonna be here?” Jungkook hissed through gritted teeth, ignoring the odd looks he was getting from the women. They still lingered for the free drinks which Taehyung kept supplied. No sense in wasting Seokjin’s endless tab after all.

Taehyung frowned. “I don’t police people’s actions. Does it matter what she does?”

Jungkook scoffed. “Oh, so this wasn’t your idea?”

Those normally warm brown eyes turned cold. “It wasn’t. Besides, she’s no longer your girlfriend.”

“Yeah, she’s definitely not.”

A growl collected in Jungkook’s throat and he was about to let it loose. He swiveled his head again only for the sound to die before it began. A man was standing by her table. He was sharply dressed in a suit and tie, with tied-back bleached-blond hair that laid over his shoulders. He had a pleasant decorum and a smile like a predatory feline. She gestured him to sit down and poured him a drink as invitation. He watched in horror as his ex-girlfriend chatted up a beautiful stranger.

He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry or run over there to flip the table.

A low voice cut through his thoughts.

“Wasn’t the breakup amicable?”

He froze.

Slowly, Jungkook faced Taehyung, his long-time friend. He never really could bring himself to fully lie to those piercing dark orbs, now reflecting the same reserved gaze that Taehyung had given him when Jungkook provided the same flimsy excuse he was once again repeating.

“I… It wasn’t meant to be,” Jungkook mumbled once more. “The traveling… it was too much for us.”

The older male was too good at reading between the lines, especially when it came to romance, his forte. “Hm.” He knew when he wasn’t getting the full story. “It’s probably too late to ask now, but was it what you wanted?”

Jungkook couldn’t help it.

“It was…”

He looked over his shoulder again.

“… What I deserved.”

She was thanking the blond-haired man. He bowed ninety degrees and leaned in, whispering something in her ear before leaving the table. His glass was empty. Someone else was approaching the table. A pretty woman with long black hair in a white minidress and short, pearl-white nails sat down, bowing lightly and introducing herself. His ex-girlfriend offered between the two drinks and the pretty woman chose the champagne. A waiter came over to uncork it for them, pouring a healthy amount into the two flutes.

They two chatted, immediately absorbed with each other.

“For a guy naturally talented at a lot of things, you’re such a stupid idiot.”

He was.

Wait.

Jungkook scowled, turning back to a disapproving Taehyung cradling a small ceramic cup. It was hand-painted with the smallest of brushstrokes, depicting a flock of black birds disappearing into the white sky. He took a sip with a gruff sigh, making a tense face. He was a wine guy, but he couldn’t turn down traditional Korean alcohol. That would be uncouth.

“How long are you going to continue moping?” Taehyung scoffed.

“I’m not moping,” Jungkook countered, hunched over the table and gripping his whiskey glass a little too hard.

“You are convincing no one. Least of all me.”

His eyes flickered upward, glaring. Taehyung remained refined, unperturbed, nearly prince-like in his half-open floral-and-forest-green silk shirt and ruffled hair. A black-brown curl perfectly grazed one of his eyebrows, accenting his condescending look with a dash of softness.

“Did you ever realize how much she did for you?”

Jungkook pushed away his glass. He couldn’t reply. He stuck his tongue in his cheek, trying not to feel. It was only then that he noticed that the table was strangely silent despite the fervor of the environment – the women had made themselves scarce, understanding that this conversation was much too serious for their girlypop night.

Finally, he forced himself to speak. “For me? I take care of myself.”

Taehyung winced. Hard. “You cannot be serious right now.”

Another peek behind him. A different man at her table now. Silvery-blonde hair, tan skin, muscular like a godly titan. She caught him looking and stared directly back. Jungkook cursed under his breath. “What did she do then? Hm? Enlighten me.” His voice was becoming rougher, slipping out of his practiced Seoul dialect and into his Busan dialect. The broad-shouldered man at the table had no suit jacket. The sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up. He must have noticed her lack of attention, because he began to turn around as well.

Jungkook jerked away before they could lock eyes too.

“Look, I don’t know what happened between you two,” Taehyung exhaled, not quite annoyed but getting there. “But I know you were the one that was wrong.”

Yeah, right.

“Never once did she complain about you. Never once did she butt into your business and cause you trouble when she could have. Never once did she talk behind your back when we both know damn well that you’re no saint, Jeon Jungkook.”

His tattooed hand against the table balled up into a fist, the familiar ache in his chest splitting, threatening.

Unintimidated, Taehyung continued. “The travelling was rough? Of course, it is. And there are probably a thousand ways to make it up to someone you love, but instead now I’m looking at you sitting here and her sitting there, pretending to be strangers. Tells me a whole lot about how that worked out.” His natural Daegu satoori was becoming more evident during his tirade. Taehyung wasn’t trying to be polite, though.

“You don’t know anything,” Jungkook retorted.

“I don’t.” Those dark brown eyes burned hot, scrutinizing him and tearing him apart. “And I don’t need to. Your hostility is telling me everything.”

“It was you,” Jungkook snapped, slamming his fist onto the table. “You invited her here.”

Taehyung’s low voice became lower, more accusatory. “Go ahead. Keep deflecting. Run back home and hide. That’s what you want to do, right?” His gaze narrowed and Taehyung’s normally friendly warmth morphed into scalding heat. “You heard what they said. She doesn’t belong here. And yet, here she is. They all talked and gossiped and badmouthed her, right to your face even, and yet you said nothing. You still don’t have the fucking balls, man. You didn’t respect her for all she was. In spite of that, she stood beside you, head held high, until you tossed her away. You brought her into this world, you ripped her out of it, and guess what? She is here. She holds her own. You deluded yourself into thinking she needed you. But she doesn’t, and it’s the other way around.”

Jungkook shot up out of his seat, nearly knocking the chair over. He was breathing hard, his furious anger so violent that it clawed at his insides, and Taehyung tilted his head, mirroring the expression of an adult tiger observing a foolish cub.

“You’re wrong,” Jungkook gritted out between clenched teeth. “You’re fucking wrong.”

He… No. She did this. This was her fault. She was the one that always pushed him to go for what he wanted. She was the one who always helped him make it work. Last minute changes happened often early in his career and she always smiled at him and told him to go, to run, to chase those adventures. And she always waited for him to come home.

“I wasn’t like that.”

In the middle of dinners for two. In vacations cut short. In forgotten special dates. Go. She always waited for him to come home. He couldn’t be blamed for that. Those were all her own decisions. He just had to do what he had to do, didn’t he? He couldn’t be blamed for doing what he thought was best. He couldn’t be blamed for trying his best. This dull ache created from a thousand cuts was not made from his own hand.

Right?

“You’re hopeless.” Taehyung slumped back in his chair and sighed. “Do as you wish.”

He wasn’t the person Taehyung was saying he was.

If he was, then…

No.

Jungkook whipped around and locked his eyes to the table, walking determinedly up to it.

There was a different man sitting there now. A very tall one with very short hair, violate energy, and a striking profile, deeply engaged in conversation with his ex-girlfriend. Currently laughing bashfully at something she must have said. The stranger was wearing a crisp black dress shirt with the first few buttons undone and well-tailored black slacks. Jungkook wanted to punch him in his very handsome face. He didn’t care that the man’s shoulders and arms were so built that they were nearly bursting the seams of his dress shirt, nor did he care that starting a fight right now would do absolutely nothing except get him thrown out in handcuffs.

Jungkook wanted to kill him.

Her eyes took a moment to shift from the very handsome stranger to him.

It hurt.

It really fucking hurt.

He glared back. Her gaze was not as heated, nor did it hold the same ice she had during their last conversation way back then. There was a completely different mix of emotions conveyed now. Almost disconnected, lonely, and loathing all at once, the last not directed at him but at herself.

As if she didn’t want to care but did and hated herself for it.

It wasn’t who she was at all, and Jungkook hated himself for doing this to her.

“Dude, I’m going to need you to get lost.”

Startled, the seated man turned his head to see Jungkook giving him a death stare. He hated seeing the puppy-like expression on such a masculine-looking man, not because he looked down on that but because it was a genuine, adorable reaction that couldn’t be faked.

She probably liked that.

She probably deserved that.

Jungkook was determined to ruin this too. Why the fuck not?

The man looked confused, and then irritated. “Uh… Look, I don’t know what your problem is, but I don’t think you belong here.” He had a commanding, stern tone. He shifted in his seat, halfway to rising. “This conversation doesn’t include you.”

“No, this conversation doesn’t include you,” Jungkook snapped, glancing at her. His ex-girlfriend did nothing but raise an eyebrow at him, her arms crossed under her breasts. “Fuck off.”

The man in the black dress shirt began to stand, brows furrowing. “Hey, I’m going to have to ask you to leave–”

“Excuse me.”

She stood up.

From this distance, Jungkook could fully take in how the smoke-grey eyeshadow accentuated the shape of her eyes, making them more prominent and intense. The lights caught the glow of her skin and the vividness of the scarlet of her lips, giving her an ethereal, untouchable demeanor. Loose layers of her hair framed her face despite the majority of it being pinned up, casting cold, dark shadows around the hot radiance of her gaze.

“I’m sorry to cut our conversation short, but I think it’s best if you give us a moment,” she said politely to the tall stranger while bowing. “I was enchanted to meet you tonight, Kim Mingyu.”

A pink flush dusted over the man’s cheeks. This motherfucker had the audacity to be flustered. Jungkook still wanted to punch him in the face. Maybe more now than before.

“O… Oh… Um. Alright.” He glanced between Jungkook and her. “Will you be okay?”

She smiled, maintaining confident eye contact with the stranger. “Let’s not assume the worst of people. And… Your words have given me courage. I thank you.”

It took everything in Jungkook not to trip the guy on his very expensive designer shoes as he hastily bowed and took his leave, offering an awkward half-wave before backing away. She raised a hand back, not looking away even when he turned around.

And then.

Quiet.

At least as quiet as a loud nightclub could be. But it all became background noise in the face of loaded silence. The safety off now. The bass faded into heartbeats as she raised her eyes and, once again, they faced each other across the table. Jungkook stood with his hands balled up into fists in the pockets of his leather jacket. His former lover stood with her hands in front of her. She was still the most beautiful, graceful, and collected woman that he had ever had the pleasure to know.

“I’m…”

And he missed her so, so much.

“I’m sorry.”

So fucking much.

Her eyes flickered down in a pause, and then back up. “It really doesn’t matter anymore. The past is in the past.”

Her name on his lips felt foreign and familiar all at once. She didn’t react. It was as if he had said nothing at all. He said it again, almost with an edge of panic, and she closed her eyes, breathing in slowly. He wanted to run to the other side. He wanted to climb on top of the table and grab her hands and tell her it was going to be okay, that he was going to be better, that she was the love of his life and that he could be hers too, please, if only he had a chance. Instead, he stayed where he was, frozen in place, trying not to do the wrong thing even though everything about this scene and script was all wrong.

Her eyes opened in a resigned, resolute flutter.

“Do you think saying sorry takes back everything you’ve done?” she asked in a measured tone.

He pulled his hands out of his jacket, shaking his head. “No. No, of course not. I… You didn’t give me a chance to apologize, and I–”

“Apologize for what?” she coldly interrupted.

“W-Well… For… everything, really.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You don’t know.”

Jungkook blinked hard, trying to banish his tears. “Know?” he echoed.

“You don’t even know what you’re apologizing for.” Her words were sharpened steel, cutting right through him.

“I do,” he insisted. “For all the times I left during dinner, for all the times I’ve left during our scheduled time together, for forgetting your birthday, anniversary–”

“For the blatant disrespect,” she interrupted, her hands separating, those intense eyes narrowing. “For always believing I could fend for myself when you got swept up during work events. For contacting me not to talk about my day, but to interrogate me on what I was doing. For not believing me and asking me to send photos every time I was out somewhere.”

He sputtered, taken aback. “That wasn’t… Those things–”

“For always knowing I understood your position and taking it for granted.” Her glare was like daggers, cutting through all the lies he told himself. “And yet never understanding mine. Never believing in the love I had for you.”

“I did believe!”

“And so you accused me of lying?” she shot back, scathing him. “I have never done anything to make you believe I was disloyal to you, but I was five minutes late to a date and suddenly I need to be lying? Suddenly that was a sign of my nefarious plans? Suddenly I’m the bad guy that needs to be backed into a corner? Suddenly I must beg on my knees to soothe your feelings?”

“I didn’t ask for that,” he retorted. “I just asked why you didn’t text that you were late.”

“I don’t need to repeat what I said then,” she growled, bristling. She had been five minutes late because of an elderly taxi driver taking his time. “Because it didn’t matter what the reason was for you. I know that now. You were scared. You were insecure. You were nervous that I was beginning to fall out of love with you. You latched onto the first thing I did wrong and blew it out of proportion to force me to grovel to you. You could have asked me directly how I felt. Instead, you decided to play fucking games.”

Jungkook couldn’t move, couldn’t speak.

Her hands balled up into fists by her sides. “I was patient. I was understanding. I loved you.” She dug her nails into her palms, clenching her jaw. “But I was not going to let myself be manipulated by your insecurities. I was not about to lose myself to become an extension of you, Jeon Jungkook.”

Past tense.

“You… loved me?”

She might as well have stabbed him right through the heart.

A thundering pause.

Finally, she sighed. Her hands relaxed.

“When I came in here, I didn’t know if I wanted to run to you or slap you.”

She looked around, down at the crowd, up to the lights, to the bar, the tables, the people.

“Before you, all I had was a decent job. Not exciting, but good enough to enjoy the life I wanted. I had loose acquaintances and once-in-a-blue-moon friends. I had mediocre hobbies that I was okay at. Before you, that had been enough. This,” she breathed, indicating the people and the money being flaunted around like water during a rainstorm. “I didn’t know this. I didn’t know how lonely it was to be standing this high. I didn’t know… My acquaintances and few friends saw the life you gave me and faded away, no longer relating to the extravagance I was exposed to. My job became a forbidden topic for the mere crime that it was boring. My hobbies became childish to these refined eyes. Yet… I could live with all that. The life I wanted was the one I had with you. And… it turned out to be miserable.”

For the first time, Jungkook realized how much she lost loving him.

“I was miserable.”

She half-laughed, empty.

“But I loved you.”

Lowered her head.

“And I was so, so damn angry with you.”

She smacked the table with her palm, hard enough to make the people around them flash them a startled look. Her fingers tensed, cherry-red manicure flaring over the wood.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” This was the part Jungkook didn’t understand. His voice rose in both frustration and desperation. “Why didn’t you just blow up on me? Why didn’t you say something?”

“Say what?” she snarled, snapping her head up, each word a bullet tearing through him. “Huh? No, don’t go? How dare you leave me, again? Create the war wounds right before we part? What good does all that do? Make us both upset right before you run off? Because you would anyway. You know you would, because you are stubborn and selfish and always doing what you need to do, putting me at the bottom of the list since I am capable… right? I can handle myself, right?”

He was rounding the table, knocking chairs aside. “You could have been angry at me. You just didn’t want to be!”

“Who wants to be angry? Don’t be ridiculous!”

“What, you were worried that you would no longer be the perfect girlfriend if you weren’t understanding?” he accused.

She looked livid. “Don’t you dare flip my consideration onto me.”

He stopped right in front of her, tension all over his neck and jaw. “It’s your fault too. I can’t change if you act like everything is fine!”

Her eyes widened. “Are you serious? I have to be the one to teach you not to be a fucking selfish prick and think about someone else for a change?” she hissed.

“How am I supposed to know?”

“Of course, you know!”

They were beginning to draw whispers and stunned faces but neither of them was backing down or ashamed enough. Or, perhaps, they were simply completely unaware of the disruption they were causing.

“You knew – no, you still know,” she snarled, jabbing him in the chest with a impeccably manicured finger. “You have never felt like you fit in with these people. That was why you tried so hard. That was why you took every opportunity to be a lapdog. That was why you dated me, because I am not privileged and enabled, that’s why you dragged me into your world and got paranoid when I wasn’t showing the same apprehensions as you, putting me in impossible positions and playing games, when we could have been teamed up against the world, when we could have been yin and yang, but all we were was a pair of damn cowards!”

His eyes went wide.

Fury laced in her helpless expression.

“You could have protected me. All you did was make me throw myself to the wolves to protect you!”

Her hands slammed into his chest and she shoved him, hard. He stumbled back, throwing his right arm out, knocking over a champagne flute and shattering it. Glass exploded onto the floor, delicate shards shooting out and catching the light, scattering into dust beneath designer feet.

People gasped and someone screamed at the unexpected noise.

His left hand reached out and gripped the patent leather sleeve of her jacket. Their gazes locked in shock and comprehension. His lips parted. One of his knees was still bent to steady himself from falling. But before Jungkook could say anything, she squeezed her eyes shut, breaking their connection, and ripped her arm from his grasp.

Then she seized the porcelain bottle with painted blue flowers and threw it onto the floor, shattering that too.

One moment of awful, dazed silence.

The next moment, men in security uniforms swiftly and silently crossed the distance and surrounded them. He was being grabbed and pinned down to the table, metal handcuffs clicked onto his wrists behind his back despite his protests. His jaw dropped when one of the men touched her shoulder and she immediately turned around and slapped him. Instantly, she too was firmly pushed down and also restrained, both of them staring at each other over the surface of the wood, their previously well-styled hair in disarray all over their faces, their eyes wide with the realization of the severity of their public argument.

He couldn’t help but think she looked fucking hot.

Something flickered in her eyes. She recognized his exact thought from their shared look. And his ex-girlfriend burst out laughing at this absurd situation, even as security hoisted them up and dragged them down the stairs. So, fuck it. He couldn’t help it either.

Jungkook started laughing too.

“This is your fault, by the way.”

“Feel free to add it to the list of shit I’ve done wrong.”

They were still handcuffed. Both standing a respectful distance away from each other in the middle of a storeroom crammed with boxes stacked like a cardboard maze. There were no windows. The door was closed and presumably locked. Neither of them had moved towards it. There would be no criminal undercover going on here. They were already in deep enough shit. Adding attempted escape would probably change their current storeroom location into separate jail cells for the night.

They did not look at each other.

Jungkook leaned against the boxes, his hands stuck behind his back. One of the sides of his leather jacket had slipped down, exposing his right shoulder. It was nice, actually, since the previous scuffle had left him rather hot-blooded. He snuck a glance beside him.

His ex-girlfriend’s body was facing the door. The backs of her hands rested on the prominent curve of her ass in that tight lilac skirt, her straight posture making her waist look even smaller. Must be nice to have a built-in shelf. His eye line travelled up to her hair, seeing it half-undone and falling down her neck. Half of the pins were still holding up by sheer luck. The patent leather of her jacket crackled as she adjusted, stretching out her ankle. She was still in her high heels.

“Uncomfortable?” he found himself quietly asking.

“Could be worse,” she answered back, still not turning around.

He waited for her to elaborate.

She didn’t.

The silence was palpable. Somehow not unbearable. He looked back down at his feet, wondering why they had been left here. He half-expected security to escort them off the premises and into a police car, but they had marched them behind the kitchen and told them to stay put and not cause trouble, similarly to how misbehaving kids were put in time-out. Then again, the owner of the club was his affluent friend Kim Seokjin. Perhaps this was a rich people thing. Or an under-the-table thing.

Her voice echoed in his head.

You have never felt like you fit in with these people.

“Hey, uh…” he started, trailing off.

A light sigh.

Then, she shook her head, somewhat vigorously. Some of the hairpins loosened up. “Ugh, my hair is more annoying than anything,” she muttered under her breath. “It’s all messed up.”

Hell yeah, it was, and it was a turn-on, reminding him of after-sex tousling. Jungkook kept his mouth shut. Not the right time for that. He chewed on his lower lip, wondering if he could do anything. Wondering if he should do anything. She still hadn’t turned around.

So, he did.

He turned around, bent down slightly, and tried to reach up. The angle was difficult. Not high enough either. His leather sleeves were also constricting his movement and making loud creaking sounds. He looked back, trying to reach up with a grunt, and she stiffened, swinging her head around. He froze in an awkward position. She stared at him.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

He blinked back. “Um… I… I was trying to help…?”

Her eyebrow raised. “By… doing yoga?”

He let out an impatient huff. “No, I’m trying to help you take the pins out of your hair,” Jungkook clarified, straightening with a frustrated shake of his body. “It’s bothering you, isn’t it? But I’m not flexible enough and you’re too tall in your heels.”

She paused. He looked away, feeling somewhat embarrassed for even trying. Who was he to think that he could do something like that? Hah. His hands tightened behind him. They weren’t close like that anymore. They weren’t even friends.

He felt a sting in his heart remembering that.

“Sorry… I should have asked if you wanted the help at all.”

He exhaled heavily.

Stillness.

Then he heard the crack of patent leather and raised his head to see her squat down, lowering one knee to the concrete floor, her back perfectly straight and her head at his waist height. She was facing the door again so he couldn’t see her expression.

“If… Well, it would be helpful if you could… If you could remove the hairpins,” she mumbled, keeping her head up. “Please.”

He gawked at her kneeled form, unmoving.

His heartbeat accelerated.

“Um… if you’re going to do it, faster would be better,” she added hesitantly with placed-in chuckle. “I don’t know how long I can keep my balance in these shoes.”

His cheeks burned. “Uh, yeah, s-sorry. I’m on it.”

The metal handcuffs clinked as he moved. He turned around and backed up a bit, reaching out to feel for her hair. Sucked in a quiet breath as his fingers grazed the soft strands, memories of stolen nights drifting back to him. He swallowed hard and bit his lip, using touch to search for the hairpins, and then loosening them as gently as he could. One by one. He tried to tuck them in his palm as he continued. Sometimes he would need to rest one hand on her head and use the other to pull them out slowly and carefully. She said nothing, tilting her head slightly as he made his way around. He felt his way along her scalp, running his fingers through her hair, remembering the familiar scent he could detect when he used to breathe it in, remembering his hands holding her head as he used to lean in and kiss her, remembering that he had lost all of that now.

Jungkook lowered his chin, letting out a soundless cry.

“You liked my hair down, I recall,” she commented behind him, her soothing voice mirroring the rolling tide late at night.

“Y… Yeah.”

He smiled despite himself. He pulled back his handcuffed hands.

“You have lovely hair. I don’t like seeing it all tucked away.”

For a moment, there was a quietness as those words sank in. She shifted, and he heard her stand up, the sharp click of her heels indicating as much, but he kept his back to her, unsure if this was the last time he would touch her hair. The last time he hadn’t known it would be the last, so he didn’t mourn the moment until way later, but this time…

“Thank you.”

He breathed in through his nose. Oddly stuffy in here.

“Y… You’re welcome.”

He wished he could take it all back, but he couldn’t. He wished he could prove he was a better man, but he didn’t know how or even if he could. She was right. He had gotten swept up in his ambitions and the superficial relationships. He had been afraid. He had let that fear control him because he had felt out of sorts with who he was, who he was becoming, and who he wanted to be.

“I really… I really am sorry.”

They were back-to-back. Not touching. Just close enough to feel each other’s presence without seeing them. Hands behind their backs, staring in opposite directions but finally seeing the path before them.

“I know.”

She let out a soft breath.

“I wished for the way I felt to change once I could accept your apologies, but,” she whispered. “Life isn’t that simple or clear cut.”

His chest ached. “Yeah.” It didn’t matter if his actions had unintentional consequences. The consequences still existed. “You’re right. About it all. About the person I became and how I treated you because of it. About how this was because of me feeling like I don’t fit in.”

She didn’t say anything, yet Jungkook could sense her acknowledgment. He couldn’t really explain why he knew. Maybe it had something to do with their current circumstances.

“I keep trying and I… I don’t know. Maybe I’m too simple-minded. Maybe I can’t understand the world these people live in. I mean, my friends seem like normal people but there are still moments where I catch myself thinking, I wouldn’t have thought to do or say that. I feel so… disconnected, sometimes. Meaningless. Maybe I’m not worth a damn to them.”

He was rambling, slipping between his refined dialect and his Busan satoori. He caught himself, about to correct his wording.

“You don’t have to be like the people around you to fit in,” she chided.

He stopped trying to form a sentence and listened.

“You don’t listen. That has always been your strength. Your charm is your natural character with the added spice of rebellion.” Her chuckle lightened, making his heart tighten and feel like exploding at the same time. “Your talent has always been bravely walking your own path, confusing as it may be. There is a pureness in that. You have friends because they want to protect that part of you. Haven’t you noticed? Your friends have never asked you to change or be like them. They just accept you for how you are and push away people who try to mold you into their vision.”

His friends? Well, true, they were the main reasons for him getting the jobs he got. He had always felt somewhat inadequate, realizing his success was from seniors in the industry helping him out. They all told him that this was how it worked. They all told him to do well so he could get more opportunities. It was part of the reason that he felt that he couldn’t let those connections down. He had always felt that he couldn’t refuse.

“Your friends have always been on your side. They don’t want you to be like them. They want you to stay as you are. You mean that much to those around you.”

But perhaps he had been wrong all along.

“Only you thought you needed to change.”

There was probably a lot of sound outside, but the distracting racket was inaudible from the distant storeroom. Her quiet voice amplified her words in this slice of stillness. There something stricken and bitter haunting the air between them as the revelation settled.

He clutched her hairpins in his fist.

“I didn’t… I didn’t date you just because you weren’t part of this vapid world I’m in.”

He wanted her to know.

“I wish…”

The tears stung the corners of his eyes. He refused to let them go. Jungkook looked up to the ceiling, taking in each breath as steadily as he could. He felt like he was drowning, except instead of water, it was all the things he never said.

“I wish I could have been strong enough for you to be angry at me sooner. Tonight, I realized… It was my own shortcomings that made you stay quiet.” He chuckled dryly in admiration. “You endured more than I ever could. More than anyone should.” He didn’t know if he was making any sense but he kept on going. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so mad. That was the most emotion I’ve ever seen from you. You must have spent a lot of nights… feeling so alone because of my selfishness.”

This was not a romantic setting at all. They were stuck in a storeroom with no windows, surrounded by boxes, handcuffed for being a public disruption, for being too dramatic and too emotional. Neither of them could look at the other. A disaster in every sense of the world.

But.

Maybe this was the most honest moment they had ever shared.

Her laugh simmered behind him.

“I’m sorry for losing my shit.”

He half-smiled in rueful relief.

“It wasn’t so bad. Low-key kinda hot. I almost lost the plot at times.”

She laughed under her breath. “You don’t mean that.”

A single heartbeat of silence.

“I kinda do,” he admitted, feeling the upturned corners of his lips falter.

It became quiet once more. An embarrassed quiet, but maybe only on his side. Jungkook still couldn’t bring himself to turn around and find out. He shifted awkwardly, realizing he was still holding her hairpins in his hand. Uh. Well, he couldn’t exactly ask her to put them in her pocket. Did she even have any pockets with that outfit? He furrowed his brows, thinking about that tight skirt and lace corset. Doubtful there would be any pockets in such fitted clothing. Maybe in her jacket, but it was so short that he would basically have to reach for her tits to…

His face heated slightly realizing that he was heavily focusing on her body right now.

Click.

He didn’t really register the sound behind him at first. It sounded like something falling onto the concrete. There was another sharp tapping sound, but before he could shift and twist his body to see, he felt her fingertips brush against the knuckles of his fist.

“I’m sorry too.”

He was too shocked to even move or react. Just stood there wide-eyed, struck by the lightning of her touch, realizing they were that close and that it was her who initiated that.

“I should have brought up the little things that bothered me. I shouldn’t have let it snowball simply because I thought it would make your life easier. I should have tried to remind you not to be intimidated by those around you,” she sighed heavily. “And I should have believed in your apology more than I did.”

The pads of her fingertips stilled.

One by one, they lost contact.

Jungkook dropped all the hairpins on the floor in a cascade of metal raindrops.

He reached back and grabbed her hand, gripping her fingers tightly, gasping as he felt her cool skin against his warmth. He felt her initial rise of reluctance, however, she did not pull away. Their handcuffs clinked against each other, the chains colliding. He scrambled to reach a little higher. Grasping her hand in his. Her right in his right. He tried to say something. Something romantic, something reassuring, something self-derogatory even.

But nothing come out.

He tried to breathe and was choked by inner tears. Tried again, shaking, trying to be silent. Her fingers curled around the back of his hand and laid there. She gave him a light squeeze.

“Don’t worry.”

Her calming voice a dream on this night.

“I’m here.”

They held hands.

It must have been only for a short while. It felt like forever packed in minutes. He inhaled deeply, catching fleeting traces of her sweet and sultry perfume. Closed his eyes with an exhale. Another inhale, slower this time. Maybe this was futile. Maybe this was objectively wildly inappropriate. Maybe he was the fucking worst, wishing, hoping they could reset to something new. All of this could crash and burn.

Or.

Or, maybe.

He swallowed tightly. Leaned back just a little. Their shoulder blades touched. A moment of suspended anticipation. She leaned back against him. The backs of their heads didn’t yet touch. He felt her hair on his neck. It was only the tops of their backs that touched, but now there was only centimeters of trembling air between them.

“Are you cold?” he asked, his voice rough and nervous.

“Only a little.” Her thumb brushed against the side of his palm. “I’ll be alright.”

Yeah, he knew that. “You’re the most capable person I know.”

She sighed. “It’s not all sunshine and roses.”

He scrunched up his face in search for the words. “Well… You suit moonlight and thorns more.”

She nearly snorted. He felt her shoulders shake in silent laughter. He winced, thinking he said something wrong.

“Yeah, you’re probably right.”

“I like those better, anyway!” He blurted it out quickly. Maybe too quickly, curling a bit in on himself once he realized what he said, cringing, but she tugged on his hand ever so slightly. It was obvious she was shaking her head from her hair swishing over his neck.

“You always had a thirst for danger, Jungkook.”

Her tone was slight and playful. He felt his cheeks burn and his heart race so hard that he almost couldn’t breathe from the pressure. Nearly stuttered when he heard his name in her voice, clenching his jaw shut so he didn’t make a fool of himself. Again. His entire body tensed, on edge and vibrating from the rush of emotions.

“Are you trying to break my hand?”

He was gripping her hand way too tight. “S-Sorry!” He loosened his stiff fingers, twisting his wrist to keep his hand cupped around hers. “Sorry…”

“Heh, it’s not like you to apologize,” she teased.

Jungkook furrowed his brows. “Hey...”

Her head laid against his shoulder.

He stilled, heartbeat pounding. She looked up at the ceiling. At least, he presumed that from the angle. The back of her head touched his left shoulder, just barely. Her hair spilled against his collarbone and back, messy and free.

“I bet you have somebody. You’re too good-looking to have nobody lined up.”

Her murmur was soft and resigned. Guilty.

Her words hung in the air.

He tipped his head back, the nape of his neck against her shoulder. The patent leather of her jacket squeaked loudly under his presence. He wished. He hoped. He…

“I have someone,” he confessed.

He squeezed her hand. Their faces tilted upwards to the ceiling, and still Jungkook could recall every detail of her eyes – the way they glimmered when she smiled, the way they sparked when she was serious, the way they twinkled during all their special moments, the way they hollowed out when she turned away from him.

His fingers gently separated hers, interlocking.

The words were at the tip of his tongue.

His lips parted.

Suddenly there were loud footsteps on the other side of the heavy wood door. His ex-girlfriend jerked up in alarm. Jungkook stumbled. Both of them quickly sprang away from each other as the noisy jangle of keys was heard and then the heavy door swung open, revealing the two of them standing there, tense, now staring wide-eyed at a tall, broad-shouldered man flanked by two security guards. His black hair was perfectly parted, half brushing against his forehead and half combed back, giving a corporate feel in his tailored black suit. He was strikingly handsome by all accounts. Intense dark brown eyes, sculpted brows, full lips, stunning jawline.

Kim Seokjin wore an exasperated, annoyed expression.

He ticked his head to Jeon Jungkook’s ex-girlfriend.

“You. Come with me.”

She hesitated for a second and stepped forward, hanging her head a bit. “I sincerely apologize for the trouble I’ve caused.”

It would be expected for such a stern, posh-looking man to be harsh. Instead, Seokjin stuck his fists by his waist and sighed loudly, similarly to a disappointed grandmother scolding her favorite child.

“Haaah… come on. You’re not going to jail. I want to talk to you alone. Hey, uncuff her,” the owner of the nightclub tutted. One of the security guards went around her to unlock the handcuffs. “It took me a while to handle everything out there. At least the incident won’t be on the news or anything.” He reached out and held her elbow as she was released, steadying her balance and leading her out of the room. The guards followed, not taking a second glance back.

Jungkook frowned. “Hey, hyung–”

Seokjin whipped up and pointed a finger at him. “No. You stay here.”

Jungkook balked, offended. “What?! What about me?”

The older man glared at him like he was the naughty child. “I’ll have a conversation with you after. Stay.”

Anger boiled high. “I’m not a dog!”

Offensively, Seokjin barked back with, “You’re right. Dogs are loyal. And want to listen to people. You have the listening skills of a straw. In one end and out the other.”

The door slammed shut with finality.

Jungkook stood there, speechless, gawking at the sheer audacity.

Then he kicked the floor with a roar of impatience once Kim Seokjin’s insult finally registered. What the hell! Kim Seokjin was the one to invite him here in the first place! Seokjin was the oldest of Jungkook’s friends that took him under his wing, teaching him about various business aspects behind the scenes and making sure Jungkook knew the importance of having a good lawyer to look over his contracts. Now Seokjin had him locked up as if he was a five-year-old receiving a time out! Who did he think he was, his disciplinarian?

“What the fuck?!”

Then Jungkook ceased all movement, no longer stomping around in circles.

It was him.

Kim Seokjin had invited him here tonight.

It was him. Kim Seokjin had told him he better get his ass over here on this night in particular if he knew what was good for him. Not unusual, as his friends usually had to threaten him to go outside these days. It was you. You invited her here. It wasn’t Taehyung who invited her. He had been telling the truth all along.

“That bastard.”

Snarling, Jungkook whipped his head to the door and glared at it, fully intending to charge like a goddamn bull right into Kim Seokjin once it opened again.

I, I hear the whispers in your eyes I'll make you wanna think twice you'll find that you were never not mine you're mine

i hear... | ... the whispers... | ... in your eyes.

masterpost

#jungkook x reader #jungkook x you #bts smut #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jungkook smut

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furiousgoldfish · 16 days ago

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Someone asked me privately 'How to break out of brainwashing', and I thought the response might be useful to anyone else abused and going trough this. It goes into personal experience and osdd, as well as having mentions of suicidal thoughts, so be ready for that if you're reading on.

"I'm unsure that I can tell you exactly how to break brainwashing, because I can only ever partially do it, and only because I also have a dissociative disorder, I think without this disorder I wouldn't be able to do it alone, even partially. I can explain what I did though, and how I think a person might be able to do it with some outside help if it's available.

So for example, when I was small I've been brainwashed to believe I was a demon, and would often be punished for that crime, and I was too little to have any way to suspect that my caretakers would have any reason of lying to me, and a lot of the stuff that was done to brainwash this message into me was done under circumstances of pain. That's how brainwashing usually goes, it's a repeated message that is given to you when you're specifically vulnerable, have no defenses or arguments against it, and often under circumstances of either physical or psychological pain (if you're badly berated, humiliated, treated with contempt, that also causes intense pain that would seal the brainwashing).

So because I have a dissociative disorder (I have osdd), I split into two parts, one who had all the memories, and beliefs from the brainwashing, and was convinced they were a demon, and a second part who had only minimal memories, was completely detached from all of the pain of the situation, but still also believed to not be human because there were no messages received that would lead to any other conclusion. So basically similar, only one part had complete brainwashing, and the other had some, but was detached from the pain situation, because that's how osdd works, it enables part of you to live as if you weren't traumatized. Because this second part did not have the memories of pain, they were able to break trough brainwashing just using logic. It was still painful, because you have to acknowledge awful things like, your caretakers lying to you, for an evil purpose, having to acknowledge that you weren't safe, that you've been exposed to some extreme cruelty, sometimes having to cut your bonds with people you love because you see them for who they are. Your worldview shatters and that can take months or years to make peace with.

But the thought process was just questioning and breaking trough the logic of the situation. I questioned why I feel constantly guilty and ashamed for even existing, and what caused it, and the reason for that was intense shaming, guilt tripping, accusations, character assassination, punishments. I was receiving messages that I deserved only pain and shouldn't exist. So I questioned why was that, and what did I do to deserve that, and it turned out basically nothing severe; I was acting as a normal kid and would get shamed for stuff like, needing to eat, needing resources or money, saying no, standing up for myself, accidentally annoying someone, being perceived as a nuisance when I was just being a kid. So then why the shaming and the violence and being called a demon and punished for it? Because people who raised me were insane and needed some excuses for torturing a normal child who just happened to live there. Studying the situation further revealed that their acts of punishments coincided with when they were in a bad mood or just annoyed at something else and needed to lash out, rather than anything I did or caused.

Now if I was still connected to the emotions and pain inflicted on me during this brainwashing, I would not be able to break trough it using logic and arguments because the pain would completely overcome my logical side of the brain and I wouldn't be able to argue it out with myself because the pain of just thinking about this would make me suicidal. That's why brainwashing is so difficult to break trough under non-dissociative circumstances, it's just too dangerous to be exposed to that level of pain, and non endurable. It's also why brainwashing is usually done under circumstances of severe pain, so that the person trying to break trough it would be stopped by pain from having access to any kind of logic and they would submit to any message being told to them, just to avoid further pain.

This is also why I haven't been able to un-brainwash the part that is still connected to that pain, they cannot under any circumstances accept that they were a kid who was tortured for no good reason because that's too devastating and there's a barrier in their mind stopping the from even thinking in that direction. They won't indulge with logical arguments.

I do think a person who doesn't have a dissociative disorder could break trough brainwashing with some outside help. Brainwashing relies on the person always receiving the same messages about themselves, and on being resistant to any opposite messages; they make you believe that anyone telling you otherwise is trying to hurt you, lie to you, trick you, etc, it makes any opposite messages difficult to accept or process.

But if there was an environment where the person was consistently receiving un-brainwashing messages that counteract what the brainwashing was, eventually their brain would adapt to the new message, even though it would still be very painful, and there would be a lot of inner conflict, going from one view to the other, being unable to see which messages are true, sometimes succumbing to the pain of trying to fight it because the pain is overwhelming. But for example, if someone is brainwashed to not believe themselves as human, but they're in an environment where it's consistently pointed out how they have a lot of things in common with humans, if their similarities are amplified, they're treated as human, and any abuse or ham of them are being depicted as wrong and evil, it would eventually cause the person to doubt the brainwashing. Not right away though, at first you'd just think 'all of these people are fooled and they're just not seeing the reality of what I am' (that was me for years). But after years of consistency their brain would have to consider that maybe they are human if there's overwhelming proof of it and that maybe something was off with the original messaging. They would still have to go back in memories to challenge it and they would need support in fighting those messages.

Sadly the current environment of capitalism doesn't offer many options of breaking such brainwashing because people often treat each other transactionally and as resources and indulge in some level of manipulation and devaluing others to get their way, so abusive messages might just get amplified instead. Which is awful for people who were brainwashed and can't fight that kind of subjugation due to painful triggers that stop resistance.

I'm also not completely out of brainwashing myself, it's still very difficult to conceptualize that I didn't deserve everything that happened to me, and that I was just a kid. When I think about it I have to distance from myself and re-affirm to myself that it was 'a child', I can't think about it as 'me', because I still hold some connotations of having deserved this, or it being correct that it happened to me instead of anyone else. It helped me to find out that similar things happened to other children because it's very easy to see that no other child deserves this, other people are truly human and never deserve anything like this, and I could start comparing myself to them to some extent and grasp the idea that I also don't deserve this, since nobody does. But I still find myself somewhat tainted by it and different on some fundamental level, in which all of this had to happen, even though I wish it didn't. I guess it's complicated! I don't think I am able to completely break out without outside help, but since I don't have any, this is how far I am able to go."

#breaking out of brainwashing #breaking brainwashing #osdd #other specified dissociative disorder #child abuse #abusive parents #demon brainwashing #grooming children to believe they deserve the abuse #setting brainwashing with pain so it cannot be challenged

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oldphanny · 2 months ago

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HOW. WAS. THE. SHOW. ⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️

AAAAHHH Sorry, I did see your asks earlier, but today has been such a blur cause I only went to sleep at 3am, so I've been napping on and off all day and kept forgetting!!

(I'm an old soul that requires 23 hours of sleep a day)

THE SHOW WAS ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE!!! Thank you for asking :)

However, the more I read and the more I'm answering questions, the more I'm realising that we were missing a lot of props. And obviously, the entire set!

So I like to lovingly refer to my version of tit as 'Bogan Tit' (thanks australian customs!!)

We were missing:

(Starting off with the ones I noticed from seeing spoilers on here prior to the show)

The set - we got a projection like Brisbane did. I don't know whether the same happened in Brisbane, but a bunch of the videos lagged or didn't play properly at all. Honestly, it just led to funnier moments, like Dan weirdly stomping over to the screen and yelling, "WELL THAT WAS A GREAT VIDEO!!!" When the clips for the tour bus conspiracy didn't play lol

The Golden Pig - I'm guessing the golden pig was supposed to be there but Phil managed to find a Golden Koala piggy bank at Woolies as a replacement (who he declared was named Clint, which Dan side eyed lol)

The Dioramas and Dolls - We had bunnings boxes cut up and with a background printed onto them while the dan and phil dolls were replaced with Obi-wan (Dan) and Goku (Phil). I would have loved to have seen PJ and Sophie's work but, again, it honestly made it funnier to have Obi-wan and Goku 'wrestle'?

Phils Silicone Abs - This was the biggest disappointment for me personally 🥲 I don't know when the Abs were supposed to come out through the whole boxing bit but phil just wore a blue singlet. Sucks but obviously shit happens and that's out of their control. I did have the aisle seat because someone wanted to trade seats so I had both dan and phil fly by me (and Dan collapse on the ground in view of my seat) so I really can't complain too much! I'm pretty sure Phil and I made eye contact for a split second before he sped off at a speed I didnt know was possible for him, so heeeyy I'll take it over the Silicone titties

The screen that gets smashed over dans head at the end of the boxing match/ Confetti- it was an officeworks box cut to look like a screen with like paper as the screen. I don't know whether that was supposed to be a better prop? Everyone around me laughed when the officeworks logo was visible on the side. Also, I'm assuming Confetti was supposed to fall out of it? But nothing really came out besides a bunch that got stuck to dans shoulder when he stood back up, which Phil came over and preened off of him 🥲🥲 Dan later on in the bit shook the boxes aggressively so the confetti did fly out over the stage but I'm assuming that wasn't supposed to happen? I'm not sure if this is the confetti you were referring to or whether there was supposed to be more? I didn't notice any other confetti, so perhaps no?

Phan bucks - I was not close enough to the stage to say whether they were the authentic phan bucks or some form of replacement, but something was sprayed out into the front row with one of those money guns.

Foam Fingers - No, I honestly don't know what you were referring too... which I guess means we missed out 🥲

BUT DESPITE ALL THIS, I LOVED THE SHOW! Clearly, they put a lot of work into making the show still feel seamless, and had I not been a chronic tumblr user, I wouldn't have noticed anything was wrong! They really carried themselves well and I loved Bogan Tit, I wouldn't have had it any other way <3 It kind of makes it more special since our show was slightly different :)

I would be interested to see the full show some day if they do post a recording to know how different it really was, but I'm so happy with my experience!! The audience was fantastic and cheering the entire time, so I hope that easied they're anxiety on not having everything to plan <3

#titspoiler #titspoilers #sorry this is soooo long but I wanted to get everything out before my memory dumped all the little details #bipanswers #dnp #phan #phandom #dan and phil #terrible influence #terrible influence tour #terrible influence spoilers #dan and phil terrible influence #terrible influence sydney #long post

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atalana · 5 months ago

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so i finally got the chance to read the book of bill! and man those journal 3 pages, i could write a million essays on those, but the principle one that i can't get out my head is the new insight on ford's whole fucked up paradigm of what love is

like, neither of the stan twins really know how to experience unconditional love, because they never really had it. their dad was constantly comparing the two of them and really just stamping down stanley's self worth at any given moment. and even for ford who was praised, he's not an idiot, he saw how stan got treated all the time, and their dad was very explicit as to why. ford's praise and attention hinged on him being the family genius who could make them all a lot of money, and he knew very well if he failed to live up to that, he would also lose his father's love

and you see this in stan in his desperate need for everyone to like him, but also how he doesn't really believe anyone ever truly could love him, so whenever he gets the chance with anyone he clings onto that relationship as tight as he can, terrified it's going to disappear at any second

ford, meanwhile. the more direct threat to him was the bullies and the people that made him feel lesser for being abnormal. and no kid likes feeling like that, we know it's a spike buried deep in his psyche, which gave him a reason for the dichotomy he ends up forming.

when he was a kid, people tended to fall into two categories - those who were really impressed with him and his potential, and those who saw him as a freak and wanted to drag him down for it. the love he got and the hate he got are directly related to both.

and as a result ford is constantly looking for people who will give him intellectual gratification (what he thinks love is), and he categorises everyone else as "unimportant obstacles in my way" (because that's how he thinks about those bullies, so their words won't hurt anymore)

stanley was the first category, until he sharply became the second

and splitting the world into those two categories makes him an absolutely horrible person! like, one hand yeah, you do have sympathy for ford bc that is straight up torture bill put him through and no one should have to experience it (and i do wanna make clear this is not a ford hate post, he does have good qualities im just interested in the bad rn)

on the other hand though, god, i'm always struck by just how hateful he is towards so many unimportant things (just one of many examples, christmas songs are fake and stupid bc rudolph didn't burn santa's workshop to the ground as revenge for ostracizing him like jesus christ dude)

or the bit where he sees one of stan's shitty product ads and considers calling him and pretending to be a cop just to scare him, because in ford's mind that's a punishment he deserves for daring to look so stupid while sharing ford's face

and it just drills in how much ford is not willing to see stan's side of this in any way, because what do you think would happen if you went through with that plan? don't you know stan's already scared enough? you saw him get kicked out, you saw the ultimatum that came with it, and hell thanks to the book of bill we know you were also scared to go home until you had something to show for it. he's trying his best, and you understood that once. but then stan throws your journal back in your face and you yell that you're giving him the chance to do the first worthwhile thing in his life.

everything he did to try and make something of himself, to try and prove himself worthy of literally any love at all, you didn't care about that. now he's in a position to help you, so of course he should just drop everything and obey your orders to the letter without question. that's the only way to redeem himself for getting in your way, why won't he take it?

by the time bill shows up ford felt fully justified in going "this isn't about me, and therefore it's stupid and unimportant and should be destroyed". and i know exactly why, it's because again you think intellectual gratification and love are the same thing and you're running low on both right now so you're trying to make up the difference by affirming how right you are in your goddamn diary, but right does not make you good or kind or wise

and that makes it kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, because loving you is hard, and the one person genuinely willing to do so unconditionally you're keeping at a very aggressive arms length. but you fall for bill so easily, because he understands how important you are, which must be love, and all of these other people worried about you just aren't smart enough to get it

and not even realising bill's lies could cure him of that one. hell, 30 years spent dimension hopping didn't cure it. when ford gets back he is still just as self righteous, and still willing to categorise dipper as "will give me intellectual gratification" and the rest of them as intrinsically less valuable

which is why dipper can't take the deal ford offered him. if he had, he would have turned out exactly like ford, stuck in his own echo chamber unable to tell the difference between love and praise

mabel says at one point in the comics that the reason the two grunkles are bad at looking after kids is because they still are kids, and that's a really accurate insight. that old wound cut so deep neither of them had the chance to actually move past their childhood, and discover what it was they were missing

stan never stopped wanting his brother back, but ford didn't realise that was what he needed too, until he saw mabel and dipper working as a team against bill. he's acknowledged his mistake in trusting bill before now, but "we used to be like that" is his first time acknowledging that his whole approach to people is wrong.

you've always had one source of unconditional love. you didn't need to be better than him to be worthy of it. and now you've got an entire new family, hopefully you'll realise that can come from multiple fronts

(and it's okay stan shall have his revenge for how you treated him by commiting just. so much tax fraud in your name)

#i am the tiredsleepy so i apologise if this is rambly but i have Thoughts #gravity falls #stanford pines #ford pines #stanley pines #stan pines #bill cipher #the book of bill

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riniworld · 2 months ago

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fell into the darkness

yandere!mafia boss oc × hostage! reader

warning|| violence, mention of blood, guns, smoking, and a dead body.

reference|| you.

a/n|| it was supposed to be longer, but I'll split it to two parts.

!! there is no mention of obsession or yandere here, this is only an introduction !!

your life wasn't perfect, you knew that very well, losing your parents when you were young and getting thrown over and over to a different relative searching for acceptance in them,but no one wanted a 'burden' in their family, until you settled with one who doesn't have a family, getting to take care of yourself at such a young age,you accepted your life long ago, but to get to THAT is something to really get concerned about...

because being wanted by a mafia is not normal, and very questionable.

now, sitting on a cold floor, your hands tied behind your back, as you try to get a word from what the men who stands a few feet away from you is saying,some of them were giving you a weird look, like you are a small thing compared to them, and that makes you feel disgusted.

and, in seconds,the room fell silent as a man,in a black suit like all the others,enter, he has a scary aura, but doesn't seem like their boss based on how their body are still relaxed.

he walked to you, his footsteps echoing in the empty room, as he get closer and closer your heart start to beat faster, you try to maintain the uncaring facade, but god you were panicing and it was obvious in your eyes.

he stand in front of you, tall and intimidating, not even bothering to lower his head to look at you, only lowering his eyes, you have alot of questions but you don't know if you're in a good place to utter a word, not that you can speak anyway.

"you must wonder why you're here." his voice was scary,you can describe it as heavy even, it's just remind you how much you're in trouble "you have a debt, since a particular coward ran away, he left the responsibility on you, we couldn't risk you running away as well, so we had to take action quickly."

"a what?"

"a debt"

"i have no knowledge in that and i do not want to, i never took a debt from anyone, you must have taken the wrong person." surprisingly you said all that without your voice breaking.

he hum lowly, it was almost inaudible if you werent really anxious that you were aware of every sound in the room, he reached for something from inside his coat, you tensed up alarmed, but he only take out a file,open it and turn it in your direction.

"do you recognize this man?" it was a question, but he sounded really sure that you recognize the one in the file.

and oh you do, it's the relative you were living with!, you know he's a drunkard and unresponsible, but to get involved with a mafia? how stupid can someone be?

"everything's clear now?" he folds the file back.

you have been caught in a big problem and there is no way out "so what you want from me? its not like I'll get the money out of nowhere when I'm here."

"you won't, we're not dumb enough to expect a kid to pay it, you're more of..a hostage here"

you scoff "do you really think that old man will care if i was a 'hostage'?"

"I'm not losing anything in trying"

you frown when he say that, seems like there's no way you can escape or reasonate with them, and there is no confirming that they won't kill you if no one asked about you.

you noticed quite a few things in the days you've been here, one there is alot of debris here that might help with escaping, second the people guarding the room are acting unserious in guarding that means either they're underestimating you, or that there is more danger up ahead.

either way you brave yourself and by your leg you slowly brought a sharp metal object near, it took quite the time but it was worth it when you managed to cut the rope off of your hands.

you waited until the sun disappeared since this seems the time they get the most tired, now it was dark,only the shade of the moon's light is lightning the place, as you see the guards start to yawn and some of them can't even keep their eyes open, you very carefully and slowly started to move toward a dark corner which you spoted an iron stick in it and plus it would be hard to spot you there,you almost got caught a few times but they were too...dump? to notice that you were moving.

not until you were in the corner had they realized you were 'missing', but you were pretty spotable if they were in an awake state, as they start to panic and gathered together, you pick up the stick and ran toward them quickly hitting the first then swing it at the second, the third managed to take his gun out but you quickly hit it, making it fall down then before he can realize what happened you hit him on his head.

no time to take a breath you quickly ran to the door, luckly it wasn't locked, preparing to whatever was ahead you tighten your fist on the stick and walked cautiously,looking right and left, your heart beating fast and you're sweating,the debris on the ground break whenever you step on them,making you jump everytime,it was mentally exhusting.

though you don't think the walk for the exit was more than a ten minutes, it felt like a ten hours, as you made it out without trouble and safely, you take a deep breath, looking at the sky, like you've been trapped for years, but there's no time to rest, you start running away in the woods, trying to get as far as you can before someone come, you don't know where you're going nor where this path lead, but it's better than falling into the darkness of that place.

the medium sized office,was dimly lit by the sunshine, despite it being a really sunny day,the cigarette's smell filling the room, making it soffcating, despite it's kind of small size, the office felt like a maze, a creepy maze of fear and authority.

a man, wearing a formal suit,was standing by the window, wich was covered by curtains from the outside, his reflection was very clear in the clean window, his eyes were practically dead, no emotion, only a dark shade that was staring....staring at what? his reflection or at the souls of the two terrified men behind him.

they were literally shaking, their gaze was glued to the floor no one dare to make a sound, the one who did was now lying down with his blood leaking, like a silent warning.

"that's a shame." his voice held a heavy authority tone to it, it was dark,deep, terrifying, the men behind him held their breath in fear, that was his first words since he received the news about the hostage escaping, he drop the cigarette to the ground and smashing it with his foot.

how long was it? week? month? oh...it was only day and a night, but it feels like forever, you're tired, cold, hungry, and desperate.

you didn't think there was worse than living with that old man, but here you are, running from a big organization, even the police are looking for you, why are the police looking for you?! who do you trust anymore?!

as you walked through a corridor to avoid being seen by the THOUSAND of men scattered around the place, you don't think it's a debt case anymore, it's more of a challenge, a punishment.

you stopped as you stumbled upon a bar, what does door to a bar doing in the shade of corridors? but you're not complaining, that mean it's empty, and no one will find you there,you can rest for a few minutes.

when you enter, the smell of alcohol hit you, you look around inside, there is a decent number of people here, weird, since it's really hidden, but you're still not complaining.

you sit at a table in the corner,and put your head down on it,letting out a sigh, that's the most comfortable rest you had taken until now.

a moment later and a waiter approaches you, his footsteps making you jump in warning, god you were paranoid.

"good evening,would you like to have something?" his tone was polite, something you didn't hear in a while.

"i-uh no, I'm not carrying any money on me sorry, i just want to rest here for a few moments." you gave an apologic smile.

"then I'm sorry you can't sit here without ordering something, our policy doesn't allow that." his voice turn more stern.

"please i won't make any trouble, just for a few minutes I'm really tired." you were desperate.

"that's nothing i can decide in, please get out if you won't order anything."

"but-"

"what's happening?" a thick voice yell from afar, an old man approach you "What is all this fuss about? i can hear it from there."

"boss, this customer didn't order anything and refuse to leave." the waiter explained.

"sir i swear i won't do anything, i just want to sit, rest my legs for a few seconds."

the old man, who you think is the owner, look at you for a second before his expression change to one of a stun, then he smiled suddenly "oh of course you can sit here, tut tut you should know how to treat a customer!" the owner Scold the waiter then take him away quickly.

that was suspicious but you get to sit so everything's good, or that what you think.

half an hour has passed, your body is well rested but your mind was a mess scattered around the place, filled with thoughts about your fate from now on, will you have to leave the country? take a new identity?, they seem like they won't stop anytime soon, ha you want to laugh, you don't know what's funny that you managed to piss off an entire organization or that your life haa been destroyed in a matter of a day, you suddenly feel like drinking, but you don't have any money, how much worse can this get?

..a loud thud pulled you out of your thoughts, you turned around wandering what caused this noise, only to see five men wearing the same suit as the ones who took you, the same mafia.

you turn to the opposite direction, ducking your head down, how are you gonna get out of this?

"mind having a guest?" you were too consumed by your thoughts that you didn't notice someone has approached you, with a shudder you lift your head up, a tall man was standing in front of you and the four had already circled you, you start panicing internally, but you're sure it's abvious on your face as well.

"hm..you don't seem a big fan of my company." he was being sassy, but his unmoving face was scary, that you don't know what to make from him anymore.

you stand up slowly, backing away step by step, "you don't want to run." the man says, and that was enough to stops you in your tracks, then you became aware of your surroundings, the four men were ready to pull their gun out at any given moment, and the one in front of you is eerily calm.

but you weren't going to give up to your cruel fate, as a last chance attempt, you pick up an ashry that was on the table, then you turn around, wanting to make this a hit and run, but suddenly, everything seemed to come to a stop, the ashry fall from your hand, there's a sharp pain in your shoulder, it was intense but at the same time it wasn't feelable, then everything faded away when you feel yourself fall down.

the throbbing pain in your shoulder was the first thing you felt when you regained consciousness, you groaned as you open your eyes,you woke up in a room,normal room, and it was too bright that you had a few minuted to adjust to it.

everything was foreign, you felt out of place..

you try to sit up, but the pain in your shoulder prevented you so, and then the memories of the bar all came back to you, the encounter with the mafia there, and your try to escape.

you lift your head up, looking around slowly, then with a loud breath you put it back in disappointment, seems like they caught you, you don't have the strength to even panic right now, giving up to your fate will be much easier.

when your head cleared you realized that you were lying down on a bed, it's softeness was something you didn't feel in a long time,but you don't think it's time to fee relieved yet, since you don't know when things could turn to the worst.

you don't know how much time passed until someone came to the room,you still can't sit up straight so you just kept lying down, looking at the door intensely, but then to your surprise a nurse has come in following by a man behind her, why are they even taking the time to take care of you? when it's clear by now that no one will ask about you again.

when the nurse saw you awak she let out an `oh` in surprise, she walked to you, settled her kit on the table next to your head, which you only see it now.

"I'm surprised, with this wound to wake up in a span of two days is really impressive, you have such a strong body." she said, her voice was silky, comforting.

you only nod in her direction, not feeling like talking right now, then you move your attention to the man standing by the door,he seem to be one of them but he didn't do any move or sound yet so you didn't give a mind to him as you again shift your attention back to the nurse who was getting her tools ready.

she changed your bandages and gave you some instructions to keep the wound closed, it was quick and in minutes you were alone again.

you let out a sigh, thinking about all the things that happened in these past few days,who knew you'll be unlucky enough to get in this mess, but again you were unlucky all your life, it shouldn't be a surprise,you felt like crying, but nothing came out, only silence and a bunch of memories.

Your chain of memories was interrupted when the door opened again, this time there stood the man who found you in the bar and behind him the one who was in the destroyed place that you were held hostage in.

you didn't have the strength to panic or anything, but you were afraid, and so much, especially from the one in the front, he seem to have something really creepy about him,something makes you don't want to look at him directly, he came to your side on the bed, and the other stayed by the door.

"i thought I'd visit you personally since my men were too dense to let you escape." like the first time you met him, his voice held no emotion at all, it's like he's just a monster without human basic things.

you gathered your strength to speak, nothing you'll say matter anymore to you "it's clear now that no one will ask or care about where am i, you won't gain anything from keeping me here." you spoke in a low voice, it wasn't your intention, but his aura makes you respect him uncontrollably.

he sat down on a chair, which again you only see now, then he lit up a cigarette and start smoking without saying anything in return, instead the man by the door speak.

"boss have thought of another use to you, you see, managing to escape from our men, and hiding for a day without being spotted has really impressed him,and so we searched for information on you, and your skill with computer plus sneaking will be of use to us." his tone was professional, not like the one before where he was speaking arrogantly.

`he's the boss then? ` you think, then you look at him, when he look back at you, you avert your gaze quickly, he was scary and it's not a joke.

"what do i make out of this?" you shift your attention back to the one by the door, your voice still uncontrollably low.

"you'll join us." he says, matter of a fact.

your eyes widen in surprise, and you stayed silent for five to ten minutes, debating how did it even come to here? you? with a mafia? but then hey...isn't it better than getting killed?

"that's too generous from the boss, you don't need that much time to accept." the one by the door speaks, his tone was impatient and a bit irritated.

"veto." the boss said in a scolding tone.

"sorry." he was quick to apologize, he seem to respect the boss alot, and it appear that his name is `veto`.

"I'll do it." you say without wavering, your voice gets a little bit higher.

maybe giving up to your fate isn't that bad.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere oc x reader #yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere oc x you #yandere oc x y/n #yandere imagine #yandere imagines

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wisteria-lodge · 3 months ago

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hi op!! hope you're doing well. genuine question, but do you think lucius pays his taxes? he makes public donations and associates with the ministry to a rather personal extent that i imagine he at least forks over some to whatever department at the MoM handles taxes but he does strike me as the person who'd at least find ways to evade being taxed (writing off business dealings as personal purchases to avoid getting taxed for them, donating to charity to get a write-off for the money, having some under the table deals so what taxes he has to pay for wiltshire are rather minimized) but what do you think?

Now I'm thinking about how taxes work in the wizarding world.

Okay, so one of the interesting things about HP is that pure-blood wizards are sort of stuck in the 1700s. There are a few aesthetic/fashion details from the 1800s, but in terms of tech level and the way the world is set up, we're still pre-industrial revolution. Which makes sense! The wizards never had an industrial revolution, and split away from the muggle world in the late 1600s.

(Phillip Pullman was also doing a psuedo 1700s-1800s thing for his children's fantasy series at around the same time. Cannot prove that JKR has any knowledge of His Dark Materials, but another English author writing a similar kind of book? Stealth-setting a book in the 1700s isn't such an out-there choice.)

That means a lot of the issues people have with the HP world building are really just issues with... life in the 1700s. Why is there no mental health care? 1700s. Why is the Hogwarts curriculum so weird? 1700s. Why is slavery okay? 1700s. Why is there no drinking age, and you can just purchase drugs (love potion) over the counter? 1700s.

In a similarly 1700s way, the Wizarding World seems to be composed of semi-autonomous fiefdoms, which report back to the Ministry of Magic. On paper, the Ministry has has control over Hogwarts, St. Mungos, the various pure-blood estates. Whether or not that's that's totally true... I mean the Ministry tries and fails to take over Hogwarts in Book 5, and in Book 2 they clearly *try* to prosecute the Malfoys for holding dark contraband, but never get very far.

Here's what I would do, if I were writing something political based in the Harry Potter universe. The Wizengamot seems to be the oldest ruling body (its name is a pun on the Wittengamot, which is from the 7th century.) So probably those seats are inherited (House of Lords style) possibly with a magical component involved. New members can be added, but only by existing members voting them in. The Wizengamot serves as the High Court (as we see - more normal cases are processed by the Council of Magical Law, and Arthur is really wrong-footed when he hears Harry is getting a *Wizengamot* trial.)

They also probably have some sort of pass/veto power, and the power to elect/replace a Minister of Magic. (the position was "offered" to Dumbledore multiple times, but he turned it down. So he's definitely not campaigning in a general election.) I doubt they actually *write* laws - that seems to be handled by the more bureaucratic-flavored Ministry members like Arthur and Percy, who do *not* sit on the Wizengamot.

I'd also have it so that taxes were handled in a more 1700s style. There'd be a lot of sales tax, which the Ministry would be able to enforce because I'm pretty sure they they oversee food production. There would also be a fee for the various Ministry-run procedures like booking overseas portkeys (and legal-social functions? the officiant at Dumbledore's funeral and Fleur's wedding is pretty Ministry coded.) "Pay a fine" seems to be a pretty common punishment in this world - which isn't a tax, but definitely a way for the Ministry to make money. I wonder if people like Ludo Bagman *bought* his position. It would be very 1700s of him.

Then there's property tax, and this is where the the old pure-blood families on the Wizangamot come in. I think the Ministry presents a budget to the Wizangamot, and *they* make up the difference, among themselves. At which point yes of course Lucius finds ways to weasel out of paying if he doesn't like the current minister, if he doesn't like the deal he's getting, if he's just feeling pissy that day, whatever. But at the end of the day, they collect their own taxes from the various spheres they control.

Now we're getting into headcanons, but I think the Malfoy money comes from primarily being landlords. At *very least,* Malfoy Manor has a magical satellite village (a la Hogsmeade or Ottery St. Catchpole) that they just own and probably low-key police. (they probably also just own a chunk of Wiltshire.) I also highly, highly doubt that the Malfoys gave up all their ties to the muggle world post Statue of Secrecy. If every new Muggle Prime Minister has a meeting with the Minister of Magic, then... I bet every time Lloyds of London gets a new CEO, Lucius Malfoy shows up to say, "We get 1.5% off the top. My bankers will be in touch." Goblins don't care about the Ministry's laws even slightly, and there's got to be an exchange rate if Hermione's parents can show up to Diagon Alley and buy her books.

All of the old pureblood families are going to have their own *thing,* their own under-the table agreements and sweetheart deals. The Blacks strike me as being big into shipping, probably because they're so based in *London.* But yeah, at least to me, this is the sort of thing that gels with the universe that we see.

(Hogwarts and St. Mungo's would be funded the same way, on a smaller scale. A huge part of St. Mungo's budget just seems to be the Malfoys. And Hogwarts has a board of governors who under normal circumstances raise money and make decisions on how to run the school... but they don't seem especially powerful these days. I'll bet it's because whatever endowment Hogwarts has/whatever funds Dumbledore has at his disposal *are* enough to run it... which is why Dumbledore can do whatever he wants, and becomes an almost independent political entity.)

#hp #hp worldbuilding #hp laws #history stuff #1700s #lucius malfoy

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batbusiness-schooldropout · 7 months ago

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Unfortunately, I'm low on inspiration for our Girl's Night adventure. I shall leave off with what Bruce thinks is happening and what is actually happening. Feel free to take the story and do whatever you want with it, just tag me or something.

Bruce's Idea:

Conner ran afoul of some magic and is now up the duff with Tim's kid. Tim, being a paranoid gremlin, has called in a favor with Barbara and she is having a facility built for the purpose of caring for mother and child (Yes, Bruce does get a new gray hair everytime he thinks about what Tim and Conner have done).

Phantom is mostly likely hired muscle and a go-fer for the group. After the information about the pregnancy gets out, Tim receives a phone call, most likely about a health concern given his behavior and leaves. Probably to resolve whatever issues arose before returning and bold faced denying anything to do with the plot outside of threatening to explain in great detail how Conner's condition came to be

What is actually happening:

Someone was able to get a message to Oracle asking for help for 2 metas, one being very sick and the other injured. They said that they were being hunted by the government and that they needed to keep a low profile. (Ellie could also be heard shouting that if they were bringing a pity party, to not come at all) Oracle calls up her most trusted enforcers, Steph and Cass, who decide to disguise the mission as a Girl's Night that just took too long. Dick was invited because the "cruiser but secretly a bruiser" is a stick shift and only hipsters and old people know how to drive those.

After picking up Selina and the Fentons, they split into 2 teams with members coming and going to keep any one person from having a clear idea of what's going on.

One team is working on turning an abandoned building of some kind into a one room hospital. (Not important but they had to go out of their way to get old equipment because no one wants to risk any ectoplasm or magic mixing with new technology in unexpected ways. You wouldn't want the bed to start raising itself after all)

The other team is working on gathering intel on the GIW and sneaking any ghosts out that they can. The goal is to have everything ready to execute a raid within hours, if not minutes of the Anti-Ecto Acts being repealed.

Out of fear that the Justice League and its members might be traced back to the operation and jeopardize everyone's safety (if Vlad finds out what's happening, there's no telling if he'll possess a hero or not) Oracle tasks Tim with the civilian side of things. Some concerned reporters happen upon the Acts and write about them, and some equally concerned billionaires throw their opinions (and money) into the conversation, and public concern grows, and you know how this song and dance goes.

For better or worse, she also tasks Tim with ensuring that everyone, including the man himself, is too distracted to notice Bruce's finances. Since he's bank rolling the whole operation, even if he doesn't know yet. Tim decides to call Conner to unleash their greatest distraction plan. The old-fashioned "Teen Pregnancy Scare" tactic. The fact that they are both male barely slows them down or convinces anyone that they're lying.

Everyone looking at them is like, "I'm pretty sure you're lying, but with all the shit you all get into, I can't rule out honesty"

(Also maybe Ellie has to revert to a core and she needs someone to "carry" her. Before anyone else can process the information, Conner sees an opportunity for more chaos and volunteers. The absolute flabbergasted look on Clark's face when he sees a medical record detailing his progress was priceless)

#batfam #just siblings being siblings #dp x dc #girls night

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finthegood · 1 year ago

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I'M WITH YOU EVEN IF IT MAKES ME BLUE

jj maybank x fem!reader

description: jj and rafe get into a fight over jj being poor. you end up having to clean up your boyfriend and assure him that you still love him. inspired by taylor swift's "paper rings." a lot of this is word vomit.

tw: violence, talk of socioeconomic status, fighting, money insecurity, and a plethora of injuries (shown above).

word count: 861.

five punches and a lot of yelling later, you were sitting on your bathroom counter with jj standing guiltily between your denim-clad legs, eyes running over your face and licking his bleeding split lip.

"stop licking," you demanded mindlessly, voice only a whisper. jj jumped, slightly shocked to hear your voice for the first time since you had fled upstairs with him in tow.

"sorry," he replied roughly.

you had your head tilted to the side, trying not to block the light as you ran a cotton swab over his busted cheek. he tried not to wince at the feeling of cold ethanol alcohol in the wound, but his eyes squinted at the corners. you dabbed it with a dry cloth, before pulling the split together with a butterfly bandage.

as you tried to clear some of the blood off his jaw, you sighed. "i don't really know what to do about the lip. i don't think that i can put neosporin on it, so it's gonna hurt."

"that's okay, it already does."

you gave him a sharp look.

"sorry," he winced.

you chewed the gum in your mouth, having lost the majority of its flavor, now just making your jaw sore in solidarity to your boyfriend. "i know you are," you swallow. "i just don't understand why. we talked about this jage."

he closed his eyes and you watched his adam's apple bob in his throat. he opened his mouth, but nothing came out and he looked ashamed. after a pause, he began to talk.

"i can't stand rafe. i don't know what it is about him, because he isn't the only person who doesn't like me. hell, he's not even the only person who doesn't like me because i'm poor. he just-" he let out a broken sigh. "he just gets under my skin every time, and i don't know why. he makes me so angry, i can feel it boiling under my skin and i just black out. i'm sorry." his voice is hoarse and you know he means it.

"i know."

"i don't even feel bad because he's such an asshole. he has everything. and i don't have shit and he talks and talks, but he doesn't even understand what he's saying because he can't because he has always been fucking rich and i wish i could have that life." his words are spilling out of him, sentences wrapping around each other and his eyes are going glassy. it hurts your heart to see him like that.

you wrap your arms around his neck and hold him, even though you are still angry, because the hurt is sour between your teeth, and you need him to know that he isn't alone.

"but this time was bad. i'm happy your dad was there so fast because i think i could have really hurt him this time," he says it like a secret because it is, but between you two it's just the truth. "he said that i didn't deserve to be at a party like that. that i don't deserve you and your family because i'm just some asshole with no one, with nobody waiting on me or for me. i know you say he's horrible and i agree, but i just think sometimes that if it was a choice between me or him, everyone at that party would choose him, because he's just less trouble."

his words are muffled by your neck, but the meaning is clear. you raise his head and you are inches apart. his breath fans across your face. you rub his unbruised cheek with your fingers and meet his eyes, determined.

"i choose you," you state. he makes a wounded noise. you press a soft kiss to his cheek, trying to move oceans with one small kiss. trying to communicate how much he means to you.

"i'm sorry," he whimpers.

"i don't care about the money, jj. i love you. i choose you. even if i have to clean you up in my bathroom every weekend. even if we both have to be normal people with normal jobs, who work and struggle. you are worth more to me than rafe and this stupid kook shit could ever be."

"i know, i know. i love you and i'm sorry," he winces.

"well, i'm not so stop apologizing," you laugh.

"okay, sorry," he says, laughing loudly when you glare. he leans in to kiss you, split lip be damned. it's gentle and slow. his lips are warm and soft. he deepens the kiss, just looking to kiss. not pushing you to do anything, never asking for more than you give. he licks into your mouth and you sigh.

you kiss for a few minutes before you remember his lip and pull back. he chases your lips mindlessly and you snort. "your lip, baby." he groans and you have to stop yourself from continuing.

his hands rub your waist and you admire him. there is a bruise beginning to form on his jaw. you want to bite it. he swallows and whispers, "i like your earings."

"shut up," you snicker before going to kiss him again.

#jj maybank #jj maybank x fem!reader #paper rings #jj maybank fluff #obx #outer banks

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redlightspellsdaanger · 4 months ago

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Thierry and Nicolas - and Martijn.

Need to write this down to organise my thoughts because I'm seriously fascinated with the dynamics between Thierry and his co-drivers.

Yes, he clearly has a very good relationship with Martijn and they work. But whenever he is asked about him - and in these interviews people tend to pile on the praise even if it's not quite like that - it feels he is almost going out of his way to sound as detached as possible ("you don't have to be friends", "we already end up spending so much time together, so it's best to not mix personal time", etc). It is almost cold. If you didn't see the way they interact you would think they don't mean much to each other.

Which takes us to Le Divorce, as he called it himself - with Nicolas Gilsoul.

The facts are known. Surprise parting only a mere days before the start of the season, both saying it was the other's decision and none of them going into details. Speculation: contractual reasons aka money. (in a very interesting podcast dated January this year Thierry actually said the confidence wasn't there anymore and he alluded to important changes in Nicolas' personal life that had an impact also in their work)

This split could have blown up in the media in a different way but none of them was really pointing fingers in public. To me it came across not as hard feelings - but hurt feelings on both sides.

One looks at how Martijn speaks about Thierry and you can clearly tell he sees him as the boss. My perception from the interaction with Nicolas was completely different. They seemed equals and level in every way.

They joked they were like Yin and Yang, that they complemented each other (N the funnier one, T the more serious; T the less affected by pressure, N would take a few days to turn the page, etc).

But in the middle of it all, you could tell they were extremely close.

With Martijn, instead they highlight how similar they are. In terms of approach, how seriously they take the job. And we have to remember that Martijn is a ray of sunshine but he sat down in the car with Thierry, zero testing together and no shakedown, and drove to a podium in Monte Carlo. He is not there to play.

People get more experienced with age, been there, done that. It's entirely possible Thierry has also changed overtime, older and more seasoned, responsabilities, a lot of pressure and time running out to win.

I can't help but think that the situation with Nicolas marked him deeply.

He doesn't want to be closer to Martijn. Professional aspect aside, he just wants someone who he is at peace with and clicks the same way he does, that they are in synch and that above all, requires no effort. He does not want to have friendship or emotions in the middle because it will make it harder if things go wrong at the job they have to do - he literally said this.

Relationships also work like that. You break-up from a very intense relationship, with incredible highs and devastating lows, and next thing you want is just something...simple.

Funnily enough, T+N remind me of Brocedes in a way. Except that Brocedes is a Hollywood story (full of pettiness, big words, high stakes, a lot of drama) while T+N is an European tale. Understated, lurking in the depths, hurt feelings but no fireworks. Two people who probably didn't stop liking each other but could not continue together.

There's so much I have missed, so this perception I have of the situation could be completely off the mark! It's a work in progress.

If anyone who reads this wants to share their own opinions ideas, I'm all ears!

This is the podcast from January which is quite insightful, on You Tube.

#thierry neuville #martijn wydaeghe #nicolas gilsoul #le divorce #oh my god #wrc #wip #i have a lot of thoughts about these three

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blueteller · 1 year ago

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Thanks for answering! If I can ask more but what made og!Cale (and also KRS) not like their previous life? And is the novel not still complete?

Of course you can! I'll answer each topic in this order, as it will make the most sense:

the current state of the novel

why OG Cale did not like his previous life

why Kim Rok Soo did not like his previous life

how transmigration happened, and why it was good for both of them

First topic: is the novel complete?

At this moment, the novel is still in the works: more precisely, Part 2 is still in the works. Part 1 of "Trash of the Count's Family" (title from "Eat Apple Pies" English translation; the manhwa title translation is "Lout of the Count's Family" due to convoluted legality reasons) had been been completed in year 2022, with 776 chapters.

While I considered Part 1's ending a satisfying conclusion of the main story arc, it still left a lot of unanswered questions – and I do mean a LOT. It felt less like the end of a book, and more like an end of a season. So Part 2 is really the continuation of the same story.

Between Part 1 and 2, there were additional "extras" published, which were numbered as chapters 777-799. So that when the prologue for Part 2 came out, it was numbered 800, and everything from 801 up was Part 2. Yesterday on Munpia, where I read the novel in Korean (through an automatic translator of course, since I don't know any Korean. Let me tell you, it's a pain...) came out chapter 1006, which makes TCF Part 2 currently 206 chapters long.

The author originally predicted that Part 2 to be 300 chapters long. No one believed that, myself included: because the author is one of those writers who always end up writing much more than they intended, hahaha! I know that feeling well. I'm estimating Part 2 to be at least 500 chapters long by the end it's done, probably around 600.

...I know that the length of this novel might seem unreasonable, but it's really not being stretched for content or money purposes: it's truly Plot all the way through. It's all story. There really is just that much story to tell, and it would not be as satisfying if you cut any of it out.

I admire this writer a lot. TCF is so much fun. I freaking love this novel.

Second topic: why the Original Cale Henituse did not like his life?

We have to go back to the very beginning: the marriage of Count Deruth Henituse, and Jour Thames. (You might have seen the name "Drew" being used sometimes, but it's really just the matter of translation. I'm sticking with "Jour".)

Jour had a very complicated background, but I won't dive into all of that here – what matters is that Jour had a very special power. It was a Wood Ancient Power called "The Annual Rings of Life", and it allowed her to see the "annual rings" of all living things: past, present and future. Meaning she could see the fate of a person, including how many years they had to live.

And when she looked at her young son, Cale, with that power, she saw something very unusual. His "annual rings of life" were "warped". Meaning, he would experience an unusual fate in the future, and in result become a Variable: either a regressor, a transmigrator, or a reincarnator. Or, more than one at once. So she told Cale:

"You are someone who will have an unusual experience with time."

Basically, she saw OG Cale's future fate and realized that the world is going to be in Big Trouble, because gods only make Variables like that happen when something really big and really bad is going down.

Now, it's just my speculation – but on top of it, I think Jour could see her own "annual rings". Meaning, she knew she would die young, and that by the time Cale became a Variable, she would no longer be around. So, knowing all this, she decided she needed to help out as much as she could: she wrote down a journal for "the person who would possess her son's body" in the future.... and commited suicide.

Why? Because it allowed her to split the power in 2 pieces. But that is a much longer story, and we're here to talk about OG Cale.

But it all starts right here: with Jour committing suicide, although no one knew that was the case at the time. All they knew was that Jour went on a short trip to Harris Village for some reason, had a carriage accident on the way back, and then died soon after, despite her injuries not seeming very serious.

That unexpected death devastated both Deruth and Cale, who loved her very much. Deruth was emotionally broken and Cale reminded him much of his dead wife, because they both had red hair and looked very similar. I imagine he started avoiding Cale for that reason, although it wasn't at all mean-spirited: Deruth was simply depressed over his beloved wife. To cope with his broken heart (and possibly to give Cale a new mother figure), he soon chose to remarry rather quickly, to a woman named Violan, who already had a son named Basen. Basen was 3 years younger than Cale.

Basen's existence is the reason why Cale chose to become "trash". You see, while on the outside people thought that Cale was outraged at his father "replacing" his mother so soon, or that he resented Violan... that wasn't the case at all. Cale quickly grew to accept them both as family. However, unlike Jour (who was from a small noble family), Violan was descended from a merchant family. She and her son were not nobility. Because of this, Basen faced discrimination from their relatives, who did not approve of Deruth's second marriage.

Young Cale, seeing Basen insulted and belittled by other nobles, created a plan. He told Basen to lie to everyone that he was Deruth's biological son, and that he was a Henituse by blood. Then he began acting like a completely spoiled brat. He complained, he yelled, he threw things. At the age of 15, he started drinking. He did everything in his power to completely ruin his reputation.

Why? All for Basen, Violan, and later Lily. Because he wanted them to be accepted by noble society. If he, Deruth's firstborn, was removed from succession, that would make Basen the next Count. And then no one would be able to disrespect them.

While it might seem like a crazy plan (and let's be fair: he came up with it as a child), it was actually surprisingly effective. No one saw through his act: not even his butler Ron, who was a trained assassin by trade. Cale's acting abilities were flawless. He played the drunk, spoiled noble with a trash reputation perfectly. Basen was quickly accepted as the heir by the public; although nothing in the family had been formally decided. While this was going on, Deruth did not know why his son was acting like this, but he never really lost faith in him; he probably thought it was all about Jour's death, and Cale would mature in time. It was also said that despite everything, Cale still acted respectfully towards his father, and was distant but still respectful towards his step family. Their family were thus strained, but not broken.

When Kim Rok Soo transmigrated, he was under the impression that OG Cale was deliberately shunned by the rest of the family. But that distance was purely artificial, but OG Cale's own design. When KRS!Cale "stopped" acting distant towards the rest of the family, the Henituses happily embraced the change. They likely thought that he finally allowed himself to heal from Jour's death and move on. That's why no one questioned him about the "change of personality", even though they all noticed it immediately.

Now, we have to talk about the TBOAH ("The Birth of a Hero") timeline. What happened before OG Cale regressed, and transmigrated into KRS's body.

In the TBOAH timeline, when OG Cale was 18, he met Choi Han on a rainy day. OG Cale was "drunk" (actually just pretending to be, as his alcohol torelance was secretly super strong), and Choi Han mentioned being from Harris Village, which had just been all massacred by assassins.

Now OG Cale, full in his "drunk trash noble" personna, probably had his own reasons for provoking Choi Han. He likely thought that getting into a fight would prevent him from getting sent to the Capital for an important celebration, and letting Basen shine. But he also honestly hated Harris Village, which was the place where his mother died. So he insulted the dead villagers to Choi Han's face. Choi Han took it personally and beat him up quite a bit for it. That incident was what inspired KRS!Cale to change the events from the TBOAH timeline, despite his lack of desire to get involved with the "plot of the story".

What exactly happened between this point and OG Cale's transmigration 22 years later is mostly speculation, but we do know some things from the TBOAH timeline thanks to KRS!Cale.

Firstly, soon afterwards Basen went to the Capital, and it was attacked with bombs. Basen either got lucky, got injured, or died in the incident. Whichever actually happened then, Basen certainly could not remain alive for long; 2 years later, the Henituse territory was attacked by the Indomitable Alliance, as their first act of war. We know that the territory was unprepared, and suffered countless casualties. Among them, the entire Henituse family died, except for OG Cale.

So we have a clear order of events for OG Cale in the TBOAH timeline: his happy early childhood, his mother's death at 8, soon followed by his father's second marriage and the appearance of his step family, OG Cale sacrificing his heir position for Basen's sake, a terrible adolescence focused entirely on ruining his own reputation and acoholism (the latter which followed him into adulthood, and no wonder), and finally losing his home and his entire family at the age of 20.

Not to mention, the 20 years of war which followed afterwards. The TBOAH timeline sucked for absolutely everyone.

When soldier Cale was 40, during the "final battle" of all the allied forces against their enemy, he got trapped under his allies' corpses. As he laid there, he witnessed Choi Han facing the White Star, the mysterious enemy leader. OG Cale saw as White Star suddenly grabbed Choi Han and declared:

"Time is warped oddly for you."

The words made him recall what Jour told him years ago. In that moment, OG Cale realized: the White Star had his mother's power. Then the White Star shoot a stream of fire at OG Cale, intending to casually finish him off.

...but OG Cale did not die, because at that exact moment, the God of Death offered him a deal.

What kind of deal? And why? Let's get back to that in a bit.

Third topic: why Kim Rok Soo did not like his life?

First of all: from the very beginning, KRS was screwed. Why? Because he was born with a curse.

What curse? And why? I'll get back to that bit later, too. But what matters is: it was a curse of bad luck, which made KRS loose every single person he cared about sooner or later.

KRS started off not too differently from OG Cale – he wasn't a noble, but he had two loving parents. However, a tragedy struck early on, and both died in a car accident. As a young boy, KRS got adopted by a distant relative named Kim Seung Jong, his uncle.

KRS's uncle, who turned out to be a gambling addict and an alcoholic. He took KRS in only to use what little money his parents left for him, starving and abusing him. Eventually, KRS ran away.

What happened to him shortly afterwards is a bit unclear. It's possible he lived on the streets for a bit. But eventually, he had to have landed in an orphanage, because he went to high school like a normal teenager with an ordinary life.

...Except that one incident with some evil dimension travellers noticing his curse, mistaking it for something else, and trying to kill KRS. And also someone else using him as live bait. But hey, KRS got his memory erased afterwards, so it's not like the trauma of those events affected him or anything, right?? :')

Soooo anyway, all was going well for KRS. At the age of 20, he got into a university and had a part time job as a waiter. All was good!

...Except then the Monster Invasion started. That's right! You read it right! You thought KRS was from a normal modern Korea?? SIKE, he was from a post-apocalyptic world all along!! KRS spent 3 days under building debris, drinking rain water and slowly starving, until he was rescued by a young hero named Lee Soo Hyuk. LSH lead KRS into a nearby Shelter – a place with supernatural properties which were immune to monster attacks – and left. All was good!! ...Except then the leader of the Shelter turned out to be a huge jerk and started bossing KRS around and beat him up on occassion. Luckily, the Shelters failed 10 months later and everybody at the Shelter died, including that jerk!! ....Wait.

So KRS survived not just one, but 2 incidents where everybody around him died. But that's ok, because he joined the organization lead by LSH and another cool dude named Choi Jung Soo. Sure, they risked their lives every day by fighting monsters and rescuing people and fighting organized crime on the side – but hey, at least KRS had friends now, for the first time in his life! So that's good, right?

....Except, several years later – around time when KRS was 26 – a super powerful monster called an Unranked Monster killed everyone in KRS's team. But it was fine! Totally fine! He just survived everybody dying around him for the 3rd time in his life, and everybody kept talking about him behind his back how he's an unfeeling bastard because he's unable to cry anymore... but who cares! KRS became Team Leader now, and he was determined to have zero casualties from now on.

That's right! ZERO. CASUALTIES. Because he's the most stubborn person alive, and also insane. So of course, he managed to actually pull it off.

So KRS spent the next 10 years being an absolute bada**, taking down mob bosses, fighting monsters and keeping all his team members alive, but also keeping distant from everybody and not having any friends because hey – if you notice a suspicious pattern of all your friends either vanishing or dying since you were a kid, you'd probably stop trying to make friends too.

36-year-old KRS was totally fine, and emotionally stable, and absolutely-not-at-all traumatized by all the deaths he's witnessed so many times. Just like OG Cale was probably-not-at-all traumatized by how his entire family died, or the next 20 years of war witnessing people brutally dying everywhere and an evil overlord taking over the world. They were both totally fine, I assure you!!

...Anyway, what was that 4th topic again??

Fourth topic: how and why the transmigration happened, and why was it good for both of them?

Right, let's start with OG Cale's deal.

The God of Death is able to make deals with people in life threatening situations. When the White Star attacked OG Cale, it allowed the God of Death to offer him to regress back in time and then switch places with one Kim Rok Soo. But why OG Cale? Obviously KRS had the qualifications to avert the events of the TBOAH timeline and the End of the World, being an experienced leader of an apocalyptic world – but what made OG Cale so special?

Well, there could be several reasons. One of which was how despite all their differences, their lives were similar in many ways. Both OG Cale and KRS lost family when they were young, experienced rejection from society, and had military experience. Not to mention the acting skills. OG Cale was able to successfully take over KRS's job, and that was no easy feat. KRS's team noticed the change of course, but they were much more happy about their totally-not-depressed-and-potentially-suicidal Team Leader was finally starting to open up, than the fact that he apparently went "crazy" one day and decided he suddenly liked alcohol now.

Another reason, perhaps, was how OG Cale's mom had the Annual Rings of Life power. It was quite important for defeating the White Star, and the way Jour set it up, only her son – or at least, the person in her son's body – would be able to find the Ancient Power; specifically the part which was able to see fate, aka. the future. The White Star got his hands on the "weaker" half of the Annual Rings, so he was only able to see the past: which saved OG Cale, as during the confrontation where the White Star tried to kill him, he wasn't able to recognize him as a future regressor & transmigrator.

...There's also Jour's Thames heritage, but that's a a whooole other topic. (Also the possible connection between Cale Barrow's last body and the Thames, but that's just a theory right now so it doesn't really matter.)

So, that covers the part of "why OG Cale". What about KRS? He couldn't be the only person capable of defeating a final boss like the White Star, right?

Well, remember how I mentioned that KRS was cursed since birth? Well, turns out that it was all the White Star's fault! Apparently KRS was meant to be born in the fantasy TCF world. Except the White Star was a reincarnator, who reincarnated using an ancient curse. To be reborn, the White Star stole bodies from other people, like KRS. Those unfortunate souls would then pass on and reincarnate in a different dimension, except bearing a part of the very same curse. The curse which makes sure that "you can never cherish anyone ever again". While the curse was weaker in the victims of the White Star than the guy himself, it still affected people like KRS. Because the God of Death was the one who originally created the curse, he felt really guilty about it. He tried to remove it from KRS, but was unable to.

...until the transmigration, that is! So, part of the reason why KRS was chosen for the transmigration (or rather, to be the "victim" of OG Cale's own transmigration) was that it allowed the God of Death remove the curse from him. Which allowed him to FINALLY make friends and be happy.

OG Cale, in return for this deal, got: a time regression which saves his family and the entire world, the truth behind his mother's death, a new environment to live in unrelated to his traumas where he could heal, and most importantly, a young reincarnation of his birth mother, whom he got to adopt as an uncle.

KRS, on the other hand, got: a blood family that cares about him, a free luxurious lifestyle with lack of responsibilities, new environment to live in unrelated to his traumas where he could heal, a detailed guide about closest future tragedies to prevent, and most importantly, a life free of the curse he unknowingly suffered from his entire life and the ability to keep all his new family and friends close to him.

....Phew. I hope you don't mind my explanation being so long.

To sum it all up:

the novel has two parts, Part 1 is finished, Part 2 is in progress

OG Cale lived in a lie and then through a war and got to start over

KRS lived through constant suffering and trauma and got to start over

their positions in life made it perfect for a transmigration switch with no loose ends

I hope this explanation helped!

#tcf #trash of the count's family #lcf #lout of count's family #q&a #replies #tcf meta #transmigration #cale henituse #cale #tcf cale #kim rok soo #og cale #og cale henituse #original cale henituse #the transmigration was the best thing which happened to either of them #i loathe the god of death but at least he did one thing right

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