#I had to rewrite this like six fucking times and I still couldn't get them to actually kiss

[amberjazmyn]

"i see him in your eyes, i hear him in your laugh. i think that's why i always found my way back to you..."🫶

pairing : charles leclerc x bianchi!fem reader

summary : after consistently being reunited on the anniversary of the loss of jules and finally allowing the spark to ignite , charles & elena have their wedding day on the 17th of july 2021.

warnings : tears but happy this time, mentions of jules bianchi, childhood friends to lovers to married, mentions of herve leclerc

a/n : like mentioned in the end a/n of the first part, i had to break it into two parts due to reaching the writing block limit or whatever and because i was dumb and all that, i lost all of the last half of what i wrote. and it was because i copied it and then forgot to paste it elsewhere and went to copy the link of the first part to my masterlist so now i have to rewrite it all and i want to scream my house down because it was fucking magnificant and now i have to see if i can remember what i fucking wrote!

17th july 2021 - monte-carlo, monaco

today was the day everyone had been waiting the longest for. it was the wedding day of charles leclerc and elena bianchi. but it was also the six year anniversary since the world alongside the bianchi's and leclerc's lost elena's beautiful brother, jules. but even with such a happy event on what was once such a somber day, they didn't leave out nor did they forget to include jules in every single thing. alongside including charles' father, herve, since no one wanted to have herve forgotten either.

the day had gone smoothly. and now it was the time that everyone had been waiting for. charles had no nerves and hadn't felt shaky at all which people admired as he stood alongside his two brothers and the rest of his closest men in his life at the altar. however, that all changed the second the church doors opened and out came elena and her father philippe.

that was when charles could see his whole world standing in front of him. his soon-to-be wife's smile lighting up the entire church. it had already been fulled with light but the light of elena's smile outshone all of them with just her sweet smile that had never changed over the years the two had known one another. standing next to charles he had his two brothers, enzo and arthur, max, lando, carlos, pierre and joris. elena had the girlfriends of the drivers and her brothers alongside one of their cousins to be paired up with joris.

charles was shocked he was still standing. his legs had started to turn to mush as it felt like it was taking forever for elena and her father to make it to the front of the altar next to him. with his brothers next to him though, charles knew they wouldn't let him fall, because they too, arthur and enzo, were nervous as well. charles and elena had decided if they were going to do one traditional thing at their wedding it was going to be the not seeing one another twenty-fours before their wedding day. even though they loved the idea of having a first look, they decided against it and instead opted for giving one another handwritten notes with a little peek into their written vows to one another to read to the videographer whilst getting ready.

so because they didn't do the first look that was now becoming a more modern tradition at weddings, this was them reuniting with one another and seeing each other again after twenty-four hours. since they couldn't even talk to one another between doors or even text each other. it had been quite literally banned by the bridesmaids and groomsmen. even though they had gone through the twenty-fours without each other perfectly, not even trying to see if they could catch a peek at one another or sneak a cheeky text, it was truly something they'd never do again if they were given the choice.

finally, elena was next to charles at the altar and the celebrant had welcomed everyone and given them permission to sit back down, the ceremony begun. it was a quick introduction and all of a sudden it had gotten to the vows. and even though the only real interaction they had with one another was through the letters they had written and given to each other whilst getting ready and had the teeniest peek to what was being included, it wasn't a real outline of one another's handwritten vows. so because they didn't write their vows together, it was truly a mystery as to what each others vows were. and they loved the thought of getting surprised by one anothers vows since, like mentioned earlier, they didn't really want the typical traditional wedding of saying the traditional sort of vows especially when their love languages were words of affirmation, physical touch and quality time. speaking of the vows, elena was starting them since she had requested to go first and there was no way charles was ever going to be able to argue or say no to her. and besides, he was fine to go second anyway even if he was certain in the fact that he'd be crying during elena's as well as during his own.

taking in a big deep breath, holding charles' hand tightly, elena began her vows. speaking them in english since not everyone at their wedding could speak and understand french.

"charles marc herve perceval leclerc. before i announce to you my promises and vows to you, i just need to tell you that i love you so much and that you have never ever made me doubt your love for me like you think you have. because the truth is, nothing you could say or do could make me doubt you, full stop. even when we weren't attached at the hip after we drifted apart after losing my beloved and beautiful older brother and your beautiful godfather jules. because for those who weren't aware, my family and the leclerc's grew up together and jules, myself, arthur and charles were what was known as the core four. we were attached at the hip. so attached in fact that those around us thought we would die if we weren't next to each other and invading one anothers personal space because for the four of us, with enzo on the rare occasion, had no concept of what the term personal space meant *giggles*..." elena paused to catch her breath before continuing

"...however, that all began to change when things did change. even when the only time we'd get to talk was over the phone or through texts or facetimes, i always knew just how much you loved me. there was never any doubt in my mind that there was a moment in which a switch turned in your mind that changed that feeling that you had for me. nor was there ever a doubt in my mind that the same switch of me not loving you was in my own mind. because there wasn't. there was never a moment in my life where i didn't love you wholeheartedly," she paused again to smile lovingly at charles and to comfort him as everyone watched on

"even when we were towing the thin line between friendship and relationship. even when we were growing up and we didn't know what the word love meant outside of familial love, there was always a small spark that was always ignited when i was around you. so much to the point as we started to grow up, jules and lorenzo amongst those around us started to notice it. everyone except for us because we weren't looking past that familial love due to the fact that both families had grown up together only a mere 28mins apart from each other. however, as we got older things started to change between us and the main one being our relationship since you were starting to inch closer and closer to making it into formula one. and then suzuka 2014 happened and jules had his accident and the world stopped to a grinding halt. we stayed in japan whilst they tried everything they could with their knowledge and it was only enough to bring him back home to france. and then he died. the world was slipped from underneath me and i felt like i was a fish bobbling along for a gasp of air before sinking back down into the depths below me. i watched as you got further in motorsports, reaching f3, f2 and then f1," elena's vows were beautiful but they were only going to get better as charles watched with teary eyes and a huge smile on his face

"but before that, we drifted apart from one another and i think it slowly cut me open that we had drifted apart. through no fault of ourselves but because you had gotten so busy that you had no other choice but to continue on even though you had to watch as i heartbreakingly wanted to give up and almost did. but then, at every anniversary on this very day, we started to magically meet up again on the same day, whether it was in monaco or in france for that one year that i returned back to france *tearful giggles*." everyone giggled at that comment that elena only was in france once during an annviersary for jules

"and we just thought it was a silly conincidence that we were in monaco at the same time for jules one-year anniversary. however, by the second and third year anniversary, we started to realise that it wasn't just a coincidence. there was a reason, a pull from the universe that was bringing us back to one another on this very day for the last six years. it wasn't until the four year anniversary though that it all changed. the spark exploded on that day when i had found you on a beach crying. it broke my heart to find you crying on that beach in monaco. however, you'll never know just how much joy it gave me to see you that day. you had done so well within your sport whereas i had only just made the permanent move to monaco the year earlier to go to university. and it was all because i no longer felt like i was a fish that was drowning and i could finally get up everyday and give myself a reason to wake up..." elena smiled as she continued, proud and shocked by her emotional strength

"...you had told me the reason you were crying and it was because you had found the letter that had a plan within it about how jules wanted to matchmake us together after he had excriciatingly watched us be so oblivious by it. he had written that letter just before he had his final ever race at suzuka..." elena trailed off as sniffles filled the room as her smile stayed unmoved

"...after he had written that letter and that plan, he had given it to arthur with him promising my brother that he'd keep it safe. and if he wasn't going to be alive for the day that his plan of being cupid would actually work and come to furition that it would be arthur that would give charles or myself the letter. except, it wasn't arthur and it was charles that had found it, hence why i had found him crying that day on the beach near my university. well, jules, i am pleased to announce that you playing cupid did work but it was delayed by a few years *tearful giggles*..." elena giggled as she reached her hand to charles' cheek to wipe away the tears that had made their way down

"...whilst it does devastate me that jules had this big of a gut feeling that he wouldn't make it out of that grand prix alive to see this plan work. i'm glad he felt like he could give it to arthur to keep it safe so it wouldn't get lost nor forgotten. it always shocks me to my core that the reason why we are all standing here today is because jules and his soul gave me and charles the light that gave us the guide to find one another on this very day every year. even though we wouldn't see each other on any other day apart from facetime calls and text messages, jules always made sure he had his baby sister and beautiful godson were together on the day he lost his life..." elena took a big breath in as she started to get into the most emotional part of her vows that had her crying to the point there were tears on the little book that she was reading her vows from

"...i mention jules a lot but especially today because whilst this day is now a day filled with happier memories of me and charles beginning our relationship, getting engaged and now married, today was also the day that we did lose jules. and even though he isn't alive to witness this, i can't ignore the fact that the reason why i stand here today and say all of this in front of you is because of jules." elena smiled at her to be husband before she broke eye contact and looked toward the empty chair at the front on charles' that was occupied by a photo frame that housed what elena had always said was her favourite photo of her older brother, jules

"my dear charlie, the reason why i love you so much is all because of jules. not only was he the one that introduced me to you but he was the one that always brought me to you, whether that was when he was alive or when he isn't. in the same way jules loved me, you too loved me. even when i thought i could and would never be loved like that, you still loved me in every version of myself. whether i was on the floor hysterically crying in the gut-wrenching grief of missing jules or if i was having the time of my life and truly radiating joy and laughing. it didn't matter what emotion i was feeling, you never let me forget just how much you truly loved me in the same way jules never let me forget how much he truly loved me. jules...i see him everywhere and everyday but i see him the most in you, charlie. i see him in your eyes, i hear him in your laugh. i think that's why i always found my way back to you even when it seemed as though after the loss of jules we'd never fix that time of us being close in our lives again. but it was then that i should have known that no matter if he's alive or not, jules would never let me stray that far away from you, always bringing me back to my true home and my true love..." it was this part of her vows that really made charles and everyone else cry and emotional, it was like jules was igniting her soul and as though he was standing right next to her as she said all of it

"...charlie, my vows to you are that i'll support you in every single moment in your life. whether it's joyous or it's rock bottom, i want you to know that you will never have to doubt that i won't be there to pick you back up when you fall and celebrate you when you are at the top. i will never go to bed angry because i know life's too short to purposefully hold onto those emotions for too long and because i never want you to think that anything you've done or said has made me angry at you. i never want you to think something you've disagreed with or had a different opinion to me about is of less importance than mine. i want you to know that anything you say to me is important whether it is classed as 'stupid' or not. i want you to know you can trust me with everything and anything in your life. i want you to know that i will go through water, fire, and the deepest ocean to fight for you and make sure you are happy because seeing you upset, angry, insecure is devastating and i never want you to have to go through those same negative emotions that i went through. but in saying that, if you do get sad, angry or insecure, i want you to know that i will be there to pick you right back up because i don't want you to not be supported like i wasn't..." elena trailed off as she stared into charles' eyes as she smiled

"...i promise i'll cry with you, i'll be at every single grand prix because i can't stand only seeing you on the same day once a year *laughter*. and you best believe i'll be wearing all the ferrari gear in support of my gorgeous husband and his just as gorgeous teammate *laughter*. and i also promise that i'll dance with you in every corner of our house, i'll sing with you even though you really can't sing and should only stick to f1 *laughter* and i will always make sure that no matter how quickly or how long it takes, that i will make sure you get the loving, happy family of your own that you've always wanted. i love you so much my dearest charlie and i don't think i could find anyone else in this world to be marrying but you. i owe all of this life and my joy to you," elena smiles as she gives her vow book back to her maid of honour, rebecca, carlos' girlfriend

it was silent for a moment or two since everyone was in shock at elena's vows. they were the best wedding vows every single person in that church had heard before by a bride or a groom. the church then erupted into booms of cheers and whistles as elena shyly giggled. the day she had written her vows she had written them on the same beach that she had heard and found charles crying back in 2019 on the four-year anniversary. and charles had no idea because he was having fun in the water alongside carlos, max, lando, daniel, joris, enzo and arthur. the girlfriends though were surrounding elena as she wrote them even though every time elena lifted her head up to crack her neck, the girls quickly looked away and continued their 'tanning session' only for them to be little nosy nellies and go back to watching elena write her vows the second she'd put her head back down and continue writing. however, they truly had no idea that these were the vows she had written. and they were blown away, it was as though edgar allen poe had written them just because of how poetic her words were.

now it was charles' turn and he was now freaking out. taking in a deep breath the same way elena did before hers, elena held charles' free hand tightly, caressing his hand as they smiled at one another.

"elena alexandra bianchi. before i announce to you and this church my vows to you, i thought it was important to remind you of just how much i love you. we always fight that we love one another more than the other. it's funny, truly because of how heated these arguments get *giggles*. however, the reason why i tell you that i love you more isn't just to one up you or because i'm making it into a competition of who loves who more because i'm never saying that i could love you more than you could love me. i say i love you more because i love you more than the bad days ahead of us. i love you more than any fight we will ever have. i love you more than any obstacle we'll face whether that's in regards to us getting pregnant or any illnesses. i love you more than i'll love formula one because whilst that is my job and something i love, that will never take the crown when it's lined up next to you. i love you more than comfortable silence that we can sit in for hours. i love you more than hearing a chord progression of my piano. i love you more than anything in this world could make me love. i could never pretend to love you, even when we were growing up it never crossed my mind that loving you was a joke or that it wasn't something i made up or that it wasn't real..." charles was doing amazingly, he had managed to compose himself to the point where he was only teary-eyed but it was clear he was back to the verge of those tears slipping down his cheeks

"...i'm not someone who tends to regret things in my life because that's not how i like to live my life. however, if i was to say i have one regret in my life, it would have been the ways in which i lied to my father herve, my godfather jules and you when we weren't dating but on that fine line between being just friends and something more. i dont even regret lying to myself because i don't need nor deserve that apology but you three, my father and jules do need it. i remember the day of jules accident, it was just before he was leaving so he could start the race when he walked past me and stopped me. telling me he had to tell me something important and that it was about you. and of course, the second your name was mentioned, i was locked in and nothing could break that focus *tearful giggles*. he had told me that the reason why you would hug me so tightly because since forever, you've given me and no one else, the tightest, most home-like hugs. jules had said it was because...because you were so worried i would disappear into thin air. but he had also mentioned something else and it had taken me by surprise that i didn't know how to react. i mentioned this earlier but the hugs i got from you, elena, were hugs that no one else was allowed to have. they were only reserved for me and it wasn't until jules had brought it up before that race that i realised. he had told me that he reason why you would hug me so tight was because you were so scared of losing me in the same way you would lose jules everytime he left for a race and when you hugged me, it was you projecting the way you felt so frightened for jules and how much you missed him onto me because of the fact you were in love with me and you were so worried you were going to lose me in the same way we ended up losing jules. and because i'm seen as jules' replacement, it was easy for you to project those feelings to me when we'd hug because that was when i realised that was the same reason why i'd hug you so tightly as well..." charles trailed off as his tears started to stream down his cheeks as elena smiled and wiped them away

"...that night after we told one another our last ever interactions with jules without even realising it would be forever, you had also said something that still makes me feel uneasy. you had made a pinky promise with jules that if he had made the podium at the end of that race that he would finally get the charles x elena hug that he had always wanted but was never able to get. after you told me that, of course my heart shattered but then i pulled you into the tight hug that had meant to be reserved for jules that night..." charles' voice cracked as it failed away, closing his eyes as his head dropped down

elena's heart breaking as she brought her hand to his cheek and softly lifted his head up. resting her forehead against his, she softly reassured him and told him to keep going. he was doing a beautiful job and from the looks of it, he hadn't had that much left of his vows left. nodding his head, he composed himself and continued.

"...all my life i had always looked up to jules and aspired to follow him through life. and unfortunately, i'll never get that opportunity for that ended on this very day six years ago. but for the last three years now, beautiful and more happier memories have been made on this day. like me finally asking you to be my girlfriend after you found me crying over finding jules' letter on the beach in monte-carlo *tearful giggles*. me proposing to you the year after that in 2020 during the afterparty that had us celebrating pierre's win at the italian grand prix in monza. and now today, the day in which i vow you my entire life, to support you when you are struggling, to laugh and cry with you. to love you without hesitation and without fear of being judged. to help give and provide for our family that i'll help with raising. to do anything you ask even if it means leaving formula one if it is what needs to happen. today is the day that i say i do want to marry you. today is the day i stand here proudly and say that there is no one else i could dream about marrying because there is no one in this world or in any universe that even comes close to you and the way you make me feel. nor is there anyone else in this world and universe that could light up my life in the same way you light up every place you walk into. i know this is something you've never actually asked me but i promise that in every single universe that could have existed in this world that isn't this one, i would find you and i'd love you in every single one. even if it meant in a different universe this day wasn't happening, this burning love i feel wouldn't disappear. but i am happy to say that in this universe i don't have to worry about that day ever happening that i'd have to doubt your love for me. i love you so much, elena alexandra bianchi and if it's anyone's honour to be loved in this relationship, it's me..." charles trails off as everyone thinks he is done but with a cheeky but tearful smile he continues as everyone giggles at the antics

"...elena, i also promise you that i will be your biggest fan and your biggest confidant. i promise to always fight for you and with you, even if the fight is as serious as fighting over which colour we should paint the walls *tearful giggles*. i promise to trust and value your opinions because no matter how much you tell me it's stupid or not important, it is. i promise to always validate your emotions because it's not silly or stupid if you are crying over a movie or over missing jules. nor is it silly or stupid if you are jumping from wall to wall because of something that you are so excited over like your favourite singer or band. i never want you to think you can't come to me when you are crying or when you are speaking so quickly to the point it's not elligible because you are so excited. i also promise the silly things like sharing my food with you, letting you look so much more better in my clothes than me *giggles*, to share the piano with you because whilst you like to be modest about it, you really are an amazing pianist and to share the highs and lows of this wonderful thing we call life as the leclerc's. whilst it may be an uphill climb it's not too much of a climb that it has to be done alone. and i also promise that i will always choose you over and over again even when you force me to choose something different, i never will because there isn't something different that i would want, only you. falling for you wasn't falling at all, elena. it was walking into a house and knowing you're home." was how charles finished his vows and similar to elena it was silent

of course, everyone knew that english wasn't the easiest language for charles. however, it was as though he was as fluent as a fluent english speaker could get. whilst his accent peaked through on the odd quiver of emotion, it never lasted too long. applause finally erupted through the church as it echoed as everyone finally remembered that applauding was in fact what they were supposed to be doing. and then, came the part that everyone had been longing the entire ceremony for. the moment in which charles and elena were finally mr and mrs leclerc.

"...now that our couple have said they do agree on holy matrimony, it is my biggest honour to announce to this congregation of those that are loved by the couple that i am introducing you all to mr and mrs charles and elena leclerc!" cheers and squeals of excitement overwhelmed the giggling celebrant as he continued when the noise fizzled out

"charles, you may now finally kiss your bride!" he announced before stepping out of the way so the photographer could get photos of the kiss

once again, cheers and squeals bounched between the walls of the church as charles dipped his beautiful wife down to the floor. his hand on the base of her back and the other supporting her head as elena giggled wholeheartedly into the kiss. everyone watching on with huge smiles and teary faces as their hands began to feel sore from all the applause. charles and elena finally broke out of the kiss as they then walked back down the aisle together as husband and wife whilst the wedding party followed behind them.

❤️

liked by charlesleclerc, maxverstappen1, kellypiquet, landonorris, carlossainz55, iamrebeccad, francisca.cgomes, oscarpiastri, arthurleclerc and 12k others

elenaleclerc taking a page out of my vows for this caption: "it didn't matter what emotion i was feeling, you never let me forget just how much you truly loved me in the same way jules never let me forget how much he truly loved me. jules...i see him everywhere and everyday but i see him the most in you, charlie. i see him in your eyes, i hear him in your laugh. i think that's why i always found my way back to you even when it seemed as though after the loss of jules we'd never fix that time of us being close in our lives again. but it was then that i should have known that no matter if he's alive or not, jules would never let me stray that far away from you, always bringing me back to my true home and my true love."

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charlesleclerc putain, tu m'as encore fait pleurer chérie fuck, you got me crying again sweetheart. i love you so much my angel forever and always

elenaleclerc charlesleclerc i love you so much more my charlie!

maxverstappen1 that singular moment in your vows had me sobbing, elena and i'm on the verge of being in that state once again!

elenaleclerc maxverstappen maxie, you are such a sweetheart! and i am so shocked that i wasn't crying because i was weeping when i wrote them down whilst we had that beach day

kellypiquet oh my gosh, that passage of your vows had me and max SOBBING! i can't even, elena, you are quite literally a poet!

elenaleclerc kellypiquet oh stop it, kelly, i am by no means a poet even though i am at university for advanced english literature.

landonorris jesus lord no, not this passage again! i just finished crying over it and now i'm gonna start crying all over again!

elenaleclerc landonorris i'm sorry lando but i just had to, it's my favourite excerpt of my vows! it's okay if it's too much for little lando norris, i still love you!

carlossainz55 the best part of the vows for sure my love! you had all of us in tears

elenaleclerc carlossainz55 oh carlos, that is so sweet of you to say so thank you! and i will issue a public apology for the tears and dehydration you all went through!

iamrebeccad i am biting my cheeks so hard to not cry reading this post rn, elena!

elenaleclerc iamrebeccad oh i love you rebecca, so much!

francisca.cgomes these photos with that specific passage omg i'm gonna scream, cry and throw up!

elenaleclerc francisca.cgomes i don't think you're the only one doing that kika haha

oscarpiastri these words were heartbreaking but in the best way possible, elena!

elenaleclerc oscarpiastri thank you oscie! i'm glad you and lily could make it!

arthurleclerc don't make me cry again, elena!

elenaleclerc arthurleclerc i'm sorry thuthur, i'll make it up to you i promise!

sebastianvettel beautiful words, elena! jules is for sure the soul that brought you and charles back to each other

elenaleclerc sebastianvettel thank you seb and jules truly is the soul that made all of this happen and i am so grateful for it!

f1gossip omg i am crying! and if that's only one passage of your vows then i can only imagine the rest of your vows and how much i'd cry reading the rest!

elenaleclerc f1gossip aw, you are so sweet! and trust me, whilst this one was the passage that made everyone cry the most, there was one other one that was just as close! i promise we'll post the wedding video as soon as we get it with me and charles' full vows included xx

bianchiphotos i think i just heard my heart stop @ "i see him in your eyes, i hear him in your laugh. i think that's why i always found my way back to you even when it seemed as though after the loss of jules we'd never fix that time of us being close in our lives again." and at "my charlie". definitely sleeping, crying and throwing up on the highway tonight because if someone doesn't love me like that then i don't want it!

elenaleclerc bianchiphotos omg you are so sweet! and i think a couple more people are going to join you on that highway tonight but don't stay there for too long, it's too dangerous sweetie xx

liked by elenaleclerc, pierregasly, lewishamilton, maxverstappen1, leclerc_pascale, philippebianchi, f1gossip and 13k others

charlesleclerc copying my wife, here is my favourite passage from my vows: "and i also promise that i will always choose you over and over again even when you force me to choose something different, i never will because there isn't something different that i would want, only you. falling for you wasn't falling at all, elena. it was walking into a house and knowing you're home."

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elenaleclerc i love you so much my charlie! i don't want something different either because nothing is better than you

charlesleclerc elenaleclerc my beautiful wife forever and ever

pierregasly why are you guys still trying to make us cry? the wedding was yesterday, surely you can let us survive one day without crying again!

charlesleclerc pierregasly i'm sorry, i just couldn't wait any longer to post the photos!

lewishamilton beautiful words charles! congratulations once again to you and elena's wedding, it was an honour to be apart of it!

charlesleclerc lewishamilton thank you lewis, it was a pleasure and honour having you there as our guest!

maxverstappen1 surprise surprise, i'm back to crying again

charlesleclerc maxverstappen1 haha i really am sorry!

leclerc_pascale i love you my precious boy! congratulations to you and beautiful elena

charlesleclerc leclerc_pascale i love you too maman and elena sends her love as well

philippebianchi thank you for making my baby girl the happiest she's ever been! jules is for sure glad that his plan worked

charlesleclerc philippebianchi thank you philippe for still letting me love your daughter even after the distance that we had between us and yes, jules is definitely glad it worked

f1gossip jesus, charles, your vows are also making me cry! do i wanna know the rest of your vows as well? back to the highway we all go!

charlesleclerc f1gossip haha, i am sorry! and omg please don't go to the highway, that's dangerous!

username oh, i just realised elena calls charles "my charlie" and now i don't know if that's the sweetest thing in the world or if i wanna follow f1gossip and sleep on the highway

charlesleclerc username like i said to f1gossip please don't go to the highway it's dangerous and cold! and yes, it melts my heart too and makes me get teary-eyed when she calls me 'my charlie' as well!

arthurleclerc another set of vows that had me crying, yay me!

charlesleclerc arthurleclerc haha, max basically commented the same thing!

username "even when you force me to choose something different, i never will because there isn't something different that i would want, only you" - i want that, someone, anyone...please? can i have this too?

charlesleclerc username i promise you will get it one day, it may not be in this near future but it will happen and you'll get to look back to this post and this comment and be happy that you have it xx

fin

well, even though i had to rewrite it all, i think i managed to remember majority of the vows except i do think this version was a hell of a lot better than the first one. but now it's finished i am so relieved since this had been in my drafts for a few days now which never usually happens. so i hope you guys do enjoy this happy ending because i truly think this two-parter is one of my favourites i've ever written! also, just realised in this part that i had been spelling philippe bianchi, jules bianchi's dad's, name wrong the whole time until i properly looked up the spelling so, that is my bad so i will change the spelling if i mention philippe in the first part tomorrow since it's way past midnight when i'm finally posting this!

[lesbianlotties]

Ronancetober Day 6: Superhero/Super powers - Birds of Prey AU

words: 1490

i present to you... BIRDS OF PREY AU ✨💎 starring:

Robin Buckley as Harley Quinn, Nancy Wheeler as Black Canary, Vickie as Renee Montoya, Chrissy as Huntress, Max as Cassandra Cain, Henry Creel as Black Mask, B*lly as Victor Zsasz

unfortunately i couldn't rewrite the entire movie but maybe a miracle will happen and i'll finish this someday? in the meantime, here's this:

“They say, if you want to tell a story right, you gotta start at the beginning,” Robin said. “But who the fuck is they anyway? You don’t have to answer, by the way.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Max rolled her eyes.

“The point is,” Robin continued, holding up a finger as if she were making a very important point. “This is my story, and I’m telling it, so I’ll start where I fucking want.”

They were in Robin’s car, on their way to the Amusement Mile, the abandoned park, where a shady deal was waiting for them. But Max didn’t know that. So, Robin had to act like everything was still okay between them. Like she hadn’t made a deal with Henry Creel, her life in exchange for a diamond stolen by a sneaky little pickpocket by the name of Max Mayfield. Like she hadn’t kidnapped Max, broken her out of jail, handcuffed her to her own hand, robbed a store with her, painted her nails a nice sparkly color, gotten emotionally attached to her, decided to hide her from Henry’s evil schemes until she pooped that ridiculous diamond she ate, escaped her house with her after some asshole set it on fire after Robin was betrayed by a dozen other assholes, which prompted Robin to call Henry Creel to arrange a deal again, give up the sweet kid in exchange for protection, so everyone in Gotham would finally leave her alone. Not complicated at all. 

“Nobody has time to sit there and listen all about my tragic backstory,” Robin laughed as she drove, “my dad selling me for a six-pack of beer, my time in medical school and then working as a psychiatrist in Arkham, becoming besties with a patient, breaking him out of the asylum and starting a life of crime, jumping into a vat of chemicals for my bestie, getting arrested by the Batman, getting in and out of jail several times, and then coming out to my bestie and getting kicked out because apparently, he thought we were dating, and he wants me to call him Joker even though his name is so obviously Steve.”

“That’s… way too much information, Robin,” Max rolled her eyes and tried to act like she didn’t love every little bit of it.

That lasted until they arrived at their destination and Robin effortlessly betrayed her. Robin tied her to a toilet like she was worth nothing, leaving her there with a simple, “I’m sorry kid, I really am.”

But, just when Max was starting to accept the fact that she was about to be opened up for stealing a silly little 30-carat diamond, she heard a noise coming from outside the bathroom. She could be wrong, but it definitely sounded like Robin was getting her ass kicked by that grumpy detective Vickie something. Except for… nope, that was definitely the sound of Vickie screaming for her life after Robin most likely kicked her off the window of the place, proudly claiming revenge for a sandwich or something equally as ridiculous and on-brand for Robin. So, Max was back to contemplating death when someone kicked open the bathroom door. She tried to scream, but there was tape covering her mouth.

“Did she really tape you to a damn toilet?” Nancy asked her. She probably preferred to be called Black Canary these days, but for that same reason, Max insisted on calling her Nancy Wheeler, her kind and cool neighbor that was incapable of staying out of trouble and now, apparently, worked for Henry Creel, the guy currently at the top of the charts in Gotham’s villains. Which wasn’t good news, because, if Nancy was there, it meant Henry’s creepy minion was close by.

“What are you guys doing?” Billy Hargrove asked when he entered the bathroom.

Max almost succeeded at not feeling worried about seeing Robin’s helpless body on a couch after getting shot with a tranquilizing dart.

But she couldn’t focus on that, not when Billy was pushing a knife toward Nancy and yelling, “Cut her open. Rip open her little tummy. Now! Rip it open!”

Now, Max was mostly sure that Nancy would’ve died before listening to that piece of shit, but before her theory was put to the test, someone shot a fucking arrow through Billy’s neck. Nancy had cut most of the tape holding Max to the toilet and she passed her the knife. Max had to work fast, she couldn’t miss what was going on outside the bathroom. Actually, even more important than that, she had to save her own life.

One second, there were four women in that room, all of them exchanging distrustful looks between them. Robin was lying on the couch, smiling and feeling only approximately ten percent of her body. Nancy was standing tall in front of the bathroom, protecting the kid she went there to save. Vickie was holding a gun, but she didn’t have the police badge anymore, and she was still a little breathless after climbing up the window Robin kicked her out of. And there was a complete stranger in the doorway. And then, a second later, they were all holding up their hands, helpless in front of an angry teenager waving a gun at them.

“I don’t know what the fuck is going on,” Max yelled at them and stopped to kick the lifeless body of Billy Hargrove, “But I know that this shit-stick just tried to gut me. So you,” she pointed her gun at Robin, “you owe me an apology, I thought you were different, I thought you were my friend. And you guys,” she recklessly pointed her gun from Nancy to Vickie and then back to Nancy, “you guys owe me an explanation. Nancy, why the hell are you working for Creel? Vickie, are you fucking suspended from the police? And you,” Max waved her gun at the stranger, “who the fuck are you?”

“They call me…” the stranger said with a clearly intentionally deep and mysterious voice, while taking off the hood of her oh-so-dark and badass cloak. But before she could say Huntress she got interrupted.

“Chrissy Cunningham,” Vickie said with awe.

“From the Cunnigham massacre!” Nancy added.

“That’s some childhood trauma right there,” Robin said with a grimace. “Wait. The shiny rock that this dummy kid swallowed… that diamond belonged to your filthy rich mafia family! I mean, before they were all brutally murdered. All, except you, apparently? Are you a ghost, by any chance? You sure look the part, I mean, don’t get me wrong, it suits you, but-”

“Robin,” Nancy interrupted her with a knowing look. For a second, all eyes were on them. Robin didn’t shut up that easily for just anybody, and Nancy didn’t speak so softly for just anybody either. Oh, there was some history there. But they had bigger problems, like Vickie quickly pointed out.

“Guys, we have bigger problems,” Vickie said, moving to the window and prompting the others to look too. “Henry Creel found us, and he bought himself an army.”

“We’re dead,” Chrissy laughed, earning odd looks from everyone for a second, but then they got distracted again.

“Oh, this is amazing!” Robin exclaimed, jumping on the couch now that her body was over the effects of the tranquilizing dart. “Oh, come on! Don’t look at me like that! Don’t you watch movies? Do you know what this means? It means we’re going to have to work together!” The skepticism was more than obvious on everyone’s faces, but Robin had an argument that immediately convinced all of them, “For the kid.”

So, there was Robin Buckley, a notorious insane criminal wanted dead by most people in Gotham, but that had a surprisingly big heart, big enough to risk it all for a kid she just met, trusting a complete stranger, a police officer, and a woman that she may or may not be in love with. There was Nancy Wheeler, who tried to be a singer and ended up working for a villain, while possibly hiding superpowers she inherited from her mother as well as complicated feelings for a certain insane criminal with blonde hair and an infectious and sweet smile. There was Vickie, freshly suspended from the police force, obsessed with bringing Henry Creel to justice above everything else including her reputation and well-being, but not over Max’s life. There was Huntress- Chrissy Cunningham, the sole survivor of an old massacre that just wanted to kill Billy Hargrove for his involvement in it, and now found herself unable to leave behind this group of strangers and that kid that needed help like she’d needed all those years ago. And, finally, there was Max Mayfield, Gotham’s best pickpocket, who had more or less innocently stolen an infamous 30-carat diamond, not suspecting that she was about to be the reason Gotham earned a new team of heroes… and Robin’s chaos on the side.

[haledamage]

May I request 17 and 59 for kisses? Any pairings you like!

(I’ll be putting these in two separate posts, but I’ll link them back to each other. Other part is here)

17. Needing to kiss to hide from bad guys

(featuring Marii/Theron because it’s such a Spy Movie trope it just couldn’t be anyone else :))

“Will you walk with me?” Theron asked, and Marii looked up from the console she sat at. “I want to hide a few cameras around and it’ll be less suspicious if I’m not alone.”

She was already getting to her feet before he’d finished asking. “Of course. Lead the way.”

She fell into step beside him as they left their little control room and started to make their way toward the Manaan spaceport. She wasn’t sure how much less suspicious her presence actually made him; even though she didn’t wear the typical brown and white robes, she was still clearly a Jedi - not to mention they were the only humans visible for kilometers, surrounded on all sides by Selkath and endless ocean. Still, it was nice to get up and stretch her legs. They’d been cooped up in that room for the better part of three days, leaving only to sleep.

And, she could admit in the safety of her own head, she very much enjoyed Theron’s company. It was nice to spend time with him without a console and a pile of datapads looming over them, even if just for a moment.

“Thanks,” Theron said suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between them, “for all your help. It’s been… nice. Working with a team for a change.” He looked everywhere but at her as he spoke. “I’m sure you’d prefer to do things your own way. Jedi don’t exactly have much government oversight.”

“Relax, Theron.” She grinned at him. “You aren’t the first SIS agent I’ve worked with. At this point, I should probably ask the SIS for a paycheck.”

He finally looked her way, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Am I your favorite, at least?”

She tapped her chin, pretending to think about it. “Hmm, I don’t know. We’ll see how the rest of this mission goes.”

“Harsh.” He put his hand over his heart. “I’m wounded.”

Marii giggled. “It’ll be tough, but I think you’ll survive.”

A sudden shiver of alarm went up her spine, cold and sharp, and she froze in place. She grabbed Theron’s wrist to bring him to a stop too, trying to find the source.

Theron put a hand on her arm and stepped closer, leaning down to speak quietly. “What is it? What do you sense?”

“Someone’s coming.” Her voice was distant, as if the words were carried to her from somewhere far away. “Someone we know.”

“Friendly?”

“No.”

“Okay.” He looked around them, searching for something specific among all the cool blue and white of their surroundings. His grip tightened on her arm and he pulled her toward a stack of shipping crates. “This way, come on.”

There was a tiny gap between a few of the crates, just enough to comfortably fit one person - or to uncomfortably fit two. Marii backed up as far as she could, pressing her back against the cool plasteel of the crates, and Theron crowded in with her.

“Well, this is cozy,” he whispered. “I think I had an apartment on Coruscant once that was almost this big.”

She didn’t have room to move her arms to cover her mouth, so she pressed her face into his shoulder to muffle her laughter. “Don’t make me laugh, you’re gonna get us caught.”

“Worth it.”

Marii was thankful that he couldn’t see her face and how red it turned at those two simple, sincere words. She had no idea how to respond to that, or even if she should respond. Silence stretched to fill the miniscule spaces between them until all she could hear was her heartbeat pounding in her ears.

It was broken by the sound of approaching voices. Familiar voices, or at least one of them was. She leaned back enough to see Theron’s face again and saw the same dawning recognition. Colonel Darok.

“Do you recognize the other voice?” Theron asked, so quietly she didn’t actually know if he’d made any sound, though she could read his lips easily enough. She shook her head. He tried to lean around the edge of their hiding spot, but she grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled him back, shaking her head again. They hadn’t been noticed yet, but she could feel Darok’s unease; he expected spies and was watching for them.

“Wait,” she mouthed, trying to tell him all of that with only one word. He nodded and she relaxed just a little.

Then he leaned forward, closing what little space there had been between them, and she tensed again. His cheek pressed to hers, the rasp of stubble against her skin a new and not unpleasant sensation, and whispered so quietly she had to strain to hear it, “Are you getting anything from them?”

“I can try.” Marii had been actively locking down her Force senses for fear of being noticed somehow, but at his urging, she closed her eyes and concentrated. Theron was a blank wall to her senses, mentally shielded and as unreadable as some Jedi Masters she knew, and she used the familiar silence of him as an anchor and reached out. There was so much life on Manaan, the oceans teaming with it, but she blocked it out, searching for sentient life.

She found Darok easily enough, leaned against the other side of the crates they hid behind. He was still wary, but had no idea they were there, and there was a building excitement in his aura from whatever he spoke about.

The person he spoke to was mired in darkness. It pulled at her, trying to drag her under, to tempt her closer, and she unconsciously tightened her grip on Theron’s jacket as if holding onto him would help her fight against it. It felt like oil or ink, viscous and dense, swirling with colors so fast she couldn’t make any of them out. It was a common shield used by Sith; it hid everything about them but their actual existence, and she had always struggled to see through this kind of shield. It required a certain level of patience and subtlety that she lacked.

She pushed against it, searching for a weak point, a shallow spot where she could get something - a face, a voice, anything that might point them in the right direction. For a moment, the blackness receded and a name surfaced in her mind as clear as if it had been spoken aloud.

The darkness closed in, shoving her out and away with such force that she stumbled, crashing back into her physical body.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Theron’s hands settled on her shoulders, holding her steady. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

It took a minute to reorient herself enough to open her eyes and she almost closed them again as the bright, pale light of Manaan assaulted her. Marii took a deep breath. The world smelled like salt water and Theron’s aftershave, warm and clean. When she exhaled, she whispered the name she’d found. “Darth Arkous.”

“It’s a start. You all right?” he asked. She nodded and he smiled a little. “You know you glow when you do that?”

“I know. Good thing you’re here for me to hide behind.” All things considered, her pale blue glow would probably be less noticable on Manaan than his red jacket, but she didn’t say it.

“That’s me,” he said dryly. “Theron Shan, human shield. Did you get anything else?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

He shrugged one shoulder. “No problem. We’ll just do this the old fashioned way.”

“Are you trying to tell me the Jedi way isn’t old fashioned?” Marii grinned.

It was Theron’s turn to have to muffle his laughter. “That’s fair. I deserved that.” He shook with the effort to keep quiet, and she had to bite her lip to stop herself from joining him. Silence fell between them again. The voices beyond their hiding place faded, but they still waited, just in case. Finally, he whispered, “Are they still there?”

Marii reached out carefully, pulling back as soon as she sensed something. “I’m afraid so. Farther away, but not gone. Whatever they’re talking about must be either very interesting or very important.” Her hands were starting to ache where they still gripped his jacket, so she flattened them against his chest instead, smoothing away the wrinkles she’d left in the material. “Starting to feel crowded?”

“Never.” He smirked. “You’re better company than the usual suspects I get stuck in alcoves with.”

“Does this happen to you a lot, Agent Shan?”

“More than it should, probably.”

While she certainly wasn’t feeling crowded or claustrophobic, she was starting to become very aware of the position they were in, how close they stood. His aura was still as calm as ever, but under her palm his heart was racing. Still, she couldn’t resist asking, “Does that mean I’m your favorite?”

“Definitely,” Theron answered with no hesitation. “No contest.”

Even though he was clearly just teasing, she couldn’t help the bright smile that lit her face. His eyes dropped to her lips for just a second as she did, his own smile fading, and when he looked back up the air in the tiny alcove felt suddenly oppressive, heavy and charged where it had been clear and easy before.

One of his hands lifted from her shoulder to push her hair back from her face, and she gasped when his fingers brushed her skin. Time seemed to slow and stretch until seconds felt like hours as Theron leaned closer. Marii licked her lips nervously and his gaze dropped again to watch the motion, transfixed.

Her holocomm beeped.

Theron closed his eyes for one long moment, but that was the only sign of frustration he let show. “You should probably answer that.”

Marii sighed and pressed the answer button on her earpiece. There’s no way she could face her former padawan on holo right now. “Yes? What is it, Kira?”

“Looks like your pals in Havoc Squad just came out of hyperspace. Should be landing within the hour,” Kira said. She sounded bored. “Maybe now that they’re here we can get the party started.”

She wasn’t sure if she was more relieved or disappointed at Major Jorgan’s timing. “When they arrive, lead them to the control room. Theron and I will meet you there.”

“You okay, boss? You sound out of breath.” There was a pause, and then gleefully, Kira added, “Just what are you and spy boy up to?”

Marii groaned. She knew she must be blushing terribly. “I’m hanging up on you.” She disconnected, then leaned her head back against the plasteel crates.

“Back to work, I guess.” Theron sounded as unhappy about it as she felt. He backed out of the hideaway, looking around cautiously before motioning for her to follow.

“Sorry we didn’t get your cameras set up.” She stepped out into the walkway. No one was around but the two of them.

“We still got what we wanted.” He glanced at her, a coy, private smile curling across his face that made her blush again. “Mostly.”

“We can go back in there if you want.” She gestured at the alcove, trying to sound playful instead of just eager. “It’s not like any of them would find us.”

“Tempting,” he said, and it was. It really was. But the moment was gone, and they had work to do. “Maybe some other time.”

[from-the-clouds]

Thinking of a Place (Part VIII) - Kendall Roy x Reader

gif by @televisionchronicles

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven | Fic Playlist | Masterlist

Summary: The final chapter.

Words: 5.1k

Warnings: Angst, alcohol consumption, brief mentions/discussions of sex.

A/N: When I tell you that I rewrote this chapter 3 different times, rewrote those rewrites, and then left literally thousands of words on the cutting room floor, I’m not dramatizing. I don’t know why I fought so much with this last part, perhaps because I have invested so much into this story and it's sort of sad to see it come to an end. Also because I couldn't seem to be satisfied with any ending that I wrote -- even this one I'm not fully in love with! But I’ve kept everyone waiting long enough. I really appreciate all the love I've received on this story, I've written for so many other fandoms and despite how small I feel like we are on here, the Succession fandom has by far been the most kind and supportive. I hope you all enjoy this, and who knows, this might not even be the last you see of these two. :)

Of all the places to be angry, this was not one of them. You knew that, looking out the windows at the end of the bar, at the palm trees swaying in the breeze and the waves creeping up along the white sand. An old Eagles song played lowly over the speakers, weaving underneath the chatter of the bar's patrons. The whole environment was manufactured happiness. But it didn’t matter. You were still angry. 

It had been a series of unfortunate events that led up to that moment. To you, slumped over a bar at one of the most expensive resorts in Hawaii, wrought with frustration. Continuing to mull it over, to wallow, wasn’t doing you any good – and you knew it.

As you finished off another round of well tequila on the rocks – a drink you were punishing yourself with – a new beverage was placed down in front of you, one you hadn’t even ordered. 

“Thanks,” you smiled weakly at the bartender. At least he understood to keep them coming. 

“Actually, I’m supposed to tell you that this one’s on the gentleman sitting over there,” he jerked his head towards the other end of the bar. 

Eyes nearly rolling back into your head, you refused to look right away. The last thing you wanted was to entertain conversation with some silver-tongued suitor who couldn’t read a room. Wasn’t it obvious to all the other patrons you were upset, that you wanted to be left alone? You’d assumed your sour mood would be deterrent enough on its own, let alone that after a nine hour flight and a tearful argument with the front desk staff you were looking rather haggard.

“Great,” you said sarcastically, but you weren’t in any position to say no to a free drink, taking a swig and welcoming the sting of the liquor. Funnily enough, it never came. Whatever had been ordered for you was an upgrade from whatever cheap brand you’d settled for when you sat down.

The nagging feeling of being watched didn’t let you hold out very long. You would have to give some type of acknowledgement or it wouldn’t go away. Preparing your best bitchy glare, you hoped whoever sent the drink would get the hint that you weren’t in the mood. Maybe it was ungrateful to snub the stranger who bought it for you, but you couldn’t be bothered to feign flirtatiousness at a time like this. 

But the glare didn’t make it very far at all, because when you saw the stranger across the bar, you realized he was no stranger at all. Hands clasped together as he leaned over the counter, aviators tucked into the collar of his linen button down, sat Kendall. His mouth was curved into a coy smile, eyes sparkling, and a person at the booth behind him was not-so-subtly trying to take his photo. You wondered if it was because they were simply shocked to see Kendall Roy fratnerizing at a hotel bar, or if it was because he looked so fucking good. Disgustingly good, seemingly better than the last time you’d seen him in person, salt-and-pepper stubble across his jawline, sunkissed along his cheekbones. 

Warmth flooded your cheeks at the sight of him, a reaction so automatic that you weren’t even able to save face by feigning annoyance. Not to mention the fact that you knew you looked like shit. Slowly, he rose from his spot and approached you. 

“Drowning your sorrows?” he asked, leaning against the bar, and while you badly wanted to play coy, you felt so ashamed of your current state all you could do was shrug bashfully, looking down at the rocks in the bottom of your glass.

“I guess you could say that.” 

“Want company?” 

You gave a small nod, and tilted your head towards the seat next to you. Kendall sat, taking a sip of what looked to be soda water and lime.

“How are you? It’s been awhile.” 

“It has.” He was right, two months had passed since last you’d spoken.

It hadn’t been for nothing, though. Because from the beginning of your fragile reconciliation, you’d been expecting Kendall to fuck you over. It would be a textbook. Grieving the loss of his dad would run its course. In the meantime, you were easy to cling to, something familiar, but disposable – he’d made that much clear time and time again. Eventually he’d find something– someone– better, and you would be left brokenhearted…again.

But after the night of his fathers funeral, Kendall didn’t reach out to you for emotional support like you were expecting. He did still reach out to you though. A handful of times, you’d met up with him for coffee or lunch. The absence of Logan’s malevolent presence in his life seemed a positive change, though that came as no surprise. He divulged to you he’d been seeing a therapist and he was working through the steps of a recovery program – actual healthy outlets for all his trauma.

Not to mention that Kendall’s whole demeanor had changed. It was like he was a different man – you couldn’t help but notice how he stood a little straighter, walked with a little more confidence, smiled more easily. Of course, he still had plenty of demons, and you still saw them slipping in and out of hazel eyes. Even then, it was probably the happiest you’d ever seen him.

Your instinct was still to keep your distance. All your meetups had been civil. Calculated. You didn’t talk about much else besides work, or what you’d been up to lately. And maybe sometimes, you’d reminisce about your days together at Waystar – conveniently avoiding any discussion of all the fighting and feelings. So it was very careful. Kendall was courteous, respectful of your personal space, of your boundaries and your time. After the time you’d spent apart, too, it was clear he moved on. With all the progress he’d made, you didn’t know why that last part was so disappointing. You’d moved on, too. It was for the better, after all.

“How’s Con?”

“Oh, just over the moon,” Kendall said. “His bachelor party is tomorrow. Roman’s planned it.”

“Oh god,” you raised your eyebrows, and snorted despite yourself. You couldn’t imagine what a bachelor party planned by Roman would entail. “Good luck with that.”

Kendall chuckled. “Yeah, I still have no idea what he’s getting us into.”

You’d been shocked to have snagged an invite to Connor and Willa’s wedding. Of the Roy siblings, Connor was the least familiar to you. In fact, of the couple, you were probably closer with Willa than anyone else – you’d spent many a Roy family gathering with her, shivering on a balcony, sharing a joint, and watching the circus from outside through floor to ceiling windows. 

“You’re here early,” Kendall observed. “The wedding’s not until the weekend.”

“Yeah,” you answered. “I was hoping to get out of town, take a break for a couple days, work’s been pretty crazy.”

“I seem to recall the last time we were together, you were bragging about how chill it was,” Kendall smirked. His whole body had turned to face you, knees slotted between your own as he rested his elbow on the countertop, fingers tracing the rim of his glass. You had to make a conscious effort not to stare at his hands. “Don’t tell me there’s trouble in paradise.”

“Ha-ha,” you said sarcastically. “It was. We’re just growing and understaffed. Good problems to have, I suppose.”

“Well, it can’t be as bad as the shitshow at Waystar, right?”

You felt a smile tug along the corners of your lips, feeling suddenly nostalgic. “No, it’s not that bad.”

Kendall grinned along with you. “Do you remember that time when I had to give that presentation, to…oh fuck, I can’t even remember the client’s name…..And in the middle of the presentation my dad called and made us put him on speakerphone so he could tell them to fuck off?”

“Oh god, yeah. That was fucking embarassing,” you said, straightening up, leaning in. “But he had some beef with the CEO, right?”

“Maybe,” Kendall’s face fell slightly. “That was probably just an excuse to fuck me over.”

The clear hurt in his expression nagged at your gut.  In the beginning, you’d been so naive when it came to Logan’s abuse. “I think I didn’t sleep for like 48 hours preparing for that pitch. And then it was all for nothing.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“Oh, I was so fucking pissed,” you raised your eyebrows. “Shit like that was always happening.”

“Uh-huh,” he turned away, and now he was looking at his feet. You took another drink. “Yeah….I still don’t know why you stuck around for so long.”

“Why do you think, Kendall?” scoffing, you looked over at him, knowingly. “I loved you.” 

The words slipped out before you could really process what they meant, the truth revealing itself so easily under the spell of alcohol. His head popped up quickly, his eyes were on yours, doing that thing they always did, searching, yearning, trying to find some sort of validation. But you weren’t going to give it to him. Couldn’t. You cleared your throat and spoke again. “Working with you, I mean. I loved working with you. It wasn’t all bad.”

It was a poor recovery, and Kendall nodded like he understood. In the awkward silence that followed, you scolded yourself for the slip-up. Good god, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get a fucking grip, how many things can you fuck up in one day?

“So, work, then? Is that what’s going on?” Kendall looked pointedly towards your half-finished drink and the empties alongside it.

For a moment, you’d forgotten why you were getting drunk at a hotel bar alone. And you couldn’t believe that it was Kendall who had a front row seat to the shitshow. Why did he always seem to show up at the most inconvenient times? And even worse, right now he seemed determined to get an honest answer. Coming into this trip, you had known you were probably going to bump into him, but you imagined that it’d be in much different circumstances. 

You hadn’t thought about it much, but maybe it’d be at the wedding, after a few days of decompression from work. You’d be wearing the expensive, new dress you’d bought for the occasion, the one that fit you just right. Okay, actually, you’d apparently been thinking about it alot, but no one needed to know that. You’d be put together, competent, he’d be able to see for himself. Look! I’m fine! Look! I have every beautiful thing anyone could want! Look! What you did hasn’t affected me at all! 

It was pointless, fabricated bullshit. And none of it would happen, anyways, because in reality he was here while you were unkempt, dejected, and halfway to blacked out before the bar had stopped serving their brunch menu. Oh, and apparently letting your tongue slip enough to confess old feelings you’d hardly ever acknowledged, not even to yourself. 

When Kendall said your name, you realized you’d never even answered his question.

“Uh, yeah,” you shrugged. It wasn’t a lie…well, it kind of was. If you were someone who considered omitting information a lie. 

“What is it?” you made the mistake of glancing at him, and his gaze was fixated on you again. Not so brooding, but wide, intent. And pretty….no. That was not helpful. 

“Nothing, it’s stupid.”

“What’s going on?” he asked, leaning a little closer, voice soft. 

“You’re going to laugh,” you said, shaking your head. 

“I’m not going to laugh.” 

There was no use in going back and forth all day. You gestured towards the bartender to bring you another round, finishing off the last in your glass before sighing in defeat.

“I uh….I forgot to book a room,” you said flatly. “I mean, I did, or at least, I thought I did. I wanted to come out early and have a few days to myself because work has been so crazy. But apparently it’s been so crazy that it must have slipped my mind. I get here, and the hotel is all booked up, as are all the fucking hotels around here. Now, I’m on one of the most remote islands in the world, and don’t have a place to stay. I’m probably going to have to sleep in the lobby tonight, that is, if they don’t kick me out. So I came here.”

To punctuate the ending of your story, the bartender set your next round down in front of you, and as you reached for it, Kendall caught your hand. “Hey,” he said. “Maybe you should slow down.”

The last thing you were expecting was to have Kendall of all people reprimanding you about substance use. You were in worse shape than you thought. Everything was going to shit. Somewhere, in the back of your mind, you entertained the possibility that you were being melodramatic. It was too late to turn back now, though. The anger you’d been feeling shifted to something else entirely, embarrassment surging to the forefront, so strongly that heat was rising up your neck. No, no, no, no, no, don’t cry. Don’t you dare fucking cry. 

Because you were now thinking just a little too hard, you were realizing. Maybe this wasn’t melodrama. Maybe this wasn’t about the hotel room, or your wedding date that had ghosted you last minute and showed up Instagram engaged the next day, or the crying baby that had kept you from sleeping a wink on your flight here. It could’ve been a little, but it wasn’t everything. There was more. You’d spent over a year now at a new job, creating a new life for yourself, determined to find happiness after everything you’d known was destroyed, through some fault of your own. You’d worked so hard to build it all, to convince yourself that it was the right path. But you had no other option at that moment than to face the truth. The truth being that after everything you’d worked for, you couldn’t help but feel like something was missing. 

“Don’t tell me what to do,” your voice cracked, despite the venom you’d attempted to lace through it. Kendall didn’t miss it, even though he loosened his grip and you reached towards the drink.

“Hey.” his voice was stern, a tone you hadn’t heard from him since your days at Waystar. He wasn’t your boss anymore, but muscle memory kicked in, and you paused, just long enough to look him in the eye. “Trust me, I don’t think this is the solution to your problem.” Voice soft, his thumb ran over the back of your hand. You shivered.

“I’ve, uh, I’ve got a whole villa to myself…and the kids aren’t flying in for a few days. Why don’t you stay in one of the guest bedrooms? The hotel might have some openings in a few days.”

You shook your head. “Ken, I can’t put you out like-”

“It’s fine. It’s nothing. How many fucking times have I put you out? I uh…probably owe you one.”

You snorted. He was right. “You probably do.” 

“Uh-huh,” he nodded. “Then don’t argue.”

“.....Okay,” you agreed hesitantly. This was definitely a bad idea, the worst case scenario you didn’t even consider when it came to options. But you had nothing else. You’d keep your head down, keep to yourself. It’d be fine. 

“Okay,” Kendall said. “Let me get the tab, we’ll get you out of here.” 

Considerably drunk, you stood, wavering slightly, and Kendall steadied you with an arm around your waist. You couldn’t help but lean into him, and you could’ve sworn on your walk to his suite he was etching soft circles into your hip with his fingers. 

The villa was huge. You didn’t know why all that space was necessary for one person. Four bedrooms, four bathrooms, multiple balconies, and a giant back patio with a private pool and spa that overlooked the ocean. 

“Feel free to make yourself at home,” Kendall said, hands tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the doorway to what was now your room, seemingly scared to cross the threshold while you put your luggage in the closet and snooped around. You turned to him, away from the floor to ceiling window with an ocean view. “I won’t be around much this afternoon, I told Shiv and Roman I’d meet them for lunch and it sounds like we have to help out Con with some last minute stuff.” 

You nodded. “Okay, sounds good.”

“And do me a favor…” 

“What?”

“Drink some water.” 

“Okay, dad.” 

Kendall’s laugh sounded a little pinched, but he stepped away, footsteps retreating down the hallway. Your shoulders sagged in relief once you were finally alone.

After a long nap that lasted a few hours, you woke up somewhere between still tipsy and hungover. Exhausted from the travel, the time change, and the tequila, you gulped down some water, and beelined for the shower, hoping that hot water and the two Advil you popped before getting in would quell the throb between your temples, and your turning stomach.

It was late afternoon now, and the sun would be setting soon. It felt somehow sinful that you hadn’t even stepped on the beach yet, and there was a good chance that a walk with your toes in the sand would clear your mind. After scoring a snack from the fully-stocked fridge, you donned a sundress and sunglasses, and set out.

The water was warm, crystal clear, and you waded ankle deep as you made your way down the secluded shoreline, focusing on nothing but the sound of the waves, the heat of the sun on your exposed skin. It didn’t take long for the problems that earlier had you slumped over a bar to shift into perspective, the tension and stress slinking off your body with each turn of the tide. It wasn’t until the sun began to dip below the horizon you decided to head back.

“Hey.”

You were slinking past the pool on your way to the bedroom when his voice started you. Kendall sat on an oversized lounger that had an impossibly picaresque view of the ocean, and the sunset, thumbing the pages of a book on his lap.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t see you,” you said, sheepishly. 

“That’s okay,” he answered. “Are you uh…are you feeling better?”

“Yeah,” you offered a stiff smile, laughing it off. “I’m sorry about all that. Guess that’s what nine hours on Spirit Airlines can do to your psyche.”

“Spirit Airlines?” Kendall cocked his head. “Can’t say I’ve heard of it.”

“Of course not,” you couldn’t help but giggle at his joke.

“It’s uh, it’s okay, though. To be honest, it was kind of refreshing to not be the one breaking down for once,” he grinned.

“Well, in that case I’m glad I could be of service.”

Kendall laughed, fully this time. “Want to sit?” 

“Only if you promise to change the subject,” you weren’t interested in dwelling on what had happened earlier. 

“Deal.”

Normally you’d say no, but after your walk, you were convinced that it was a little irrational to be so afraid of him, of spending time with him. Things didn’t feel nearly as natural as they once had, but had they ever been that natural to begin with? You still derived a strange amount of comfort from his presence, even if the anxious part in your brain found that displeasing.

Kendall’s shirt lay open, unbuttoned, most of his torso bare, and a few water droplets clung to his exposed skin, probably from a recent dip in the pool. He looked a fair bit more muscular than you remembered him to be, not that you’d had any issue with how he had looked before. In fact, the issue now was that he seemed to be looking better and better every time you were together. You weren’t sure how long you spent checking him out, but you were thankful for your sunglasses when you finally snapped out of it. 

If he noticed, he didn’t say anything, seemingly content, one of his arms slung over the back of the couch. You wished you could feel that, too. With the exception of the odd fling here and there, it’d been awhile since anyone offered you any affection. After the stress of the day, you wondered what it might feel like to rest your head on his lap, to have his fingers running through your hair absentmindedly. Even during your brief time together, you hadn’t really been allowed that sort of domesticity. 

“What are you reading?” you asked. He closed the book and shifted over so you could sit next to him, and he showed you the cover.

“Something my NA sponsor recommended. So far, it’s not great.”

“That’s the worst,” you sympathized. “How’s that going, anyways?”

“What, sobriety?”

You nodded. 

“Honestly, it uh….it fucking sucks,” Kendall said, then shook his head, offering a short exhale a weak laugh. “I’m kidding…uh, you know…it’s not so bad. Better than where I was before.” 

You nodded, leaning against the back of the couch and tucking your legs underneath you. “So when you were at the bar today, it was only to pick up women?” you teased. 

Kendall tilted his head, warmth glowing in his eyes. “Just one.”

Your stomach flipped, and you tried to play it off. “Uh-huh.”

Thankfully, Kendall moved on. “So, are you here alone, then?” he asked. “For the wedding?”

“Yeah,” you said. Your on-again, off-again fuck buddy and go-to wedding date, Ron, had bailed on you last minute. Then, right before boarding your flight, your friend had sent you a photo of him cuddled up with a perfect, blonde model, who was proudly displaying a diamond ring to the camera. It was part-hilarious, part humiliating, since the last time you were over at his apartment, he’d made a big show of gifting you a bottle of your favorite Rye ‘to keep on hand’ for whenever you came over. There had always been an expiration date, you weren’t disappointed it was over, but realizing you were the other woman was unsettling, you felt dirty somehow. “Why?” 

Kendall shrugged. “Well, you know….you were at uh, my dad’s funeral with Stewy.” 

You frowned. “....And?” 

“I don’t know, you just….you seemed….close.” He paused. “I thought maybe….”

It clicked for you. “Oh my god. You’re joking.”

“Uh-huh, look, I uh, I just got a vibe.” 

“Oh, you ‘got a vibe’? What kind of ‘vibe’?” 

“Forget it. I’m just saying,” Kendall raised his hands. “I’ve known him for awhile, we used to party together in college, and he’s not exactly the most loyal-”

“Oh my god, stop, I already booked the wedding venue, what am I gonna do?” It was laughable. Stewy had texted you after the funeral to apologize for dipping out, and that was the last time you’d heard from him. 

“Fuck off,” Kendall’s voice sounded pinched, even though his shoulders had relaxed slightly. “I just had to say it.” 

“I appreciate the warning.” Was he….jealous? There was no way. Gerri had already told you a little while back that Kendall had been linked to some former anchor at ATN, and things seemed pretty serious. You had been a little puzzled as to why she thought you should know, and found yourself wishing she would’ve kept it to herself. But this was probably just his guilt talking, some cheap attempt to prove that he actually cared about your well-being, you rationalized. 

You had to bite your tongue to keep from pointing out that between himself and Stewy, only one of them had ever broken your heart, and it wasn’t Stewy. But you figured it best to stay quiet. “What about you?” you asked. “I assume you’re here alone?”

Kendall nodded.

“Finding a wedding date,” you mused. “It's way harder than you’d think. I mean, the date part is easy, but actually having a good time with the date is always what gets me.”

“Uh-huh, is that right?”

“Yeah,” you continued. “You’re not only a guest at a party, you’re also playing host for someone. You gotta make sure the date is having a good time with all these people they don’t know. It’s so much effort.” 

“You know,” Kendall cocked his head. “You’re making a really good case for us to just go together.” 

“Very funny.”

“What? I’m serious,” he said. “It might not be such a bad idea. And uh…lately, I think that you and I, we’ve been really good. Fucking nice and professional. Haven’t we? ” 

“Mmm, I guess.” 

“I think we’d have fun.”

“Mmmmmmmm,” you wrinkled your nose. “Would we?”

“Come on,” he said your name. “At the very least, we know there’s chemistry.” 

“Oh, is there?”

Kendall leaned forward, slightly, and the lounger seemed a lot smaller than it originally had, his face was only inches from yours. “Do you need a reminder? We used to-”

“Yeah, I know,” you cut him off. 

“I think about it all the time. Don’t you?” One of his hands settled on your knee. Your skin burned where he touched you.  

You bit your lower lip, squirming in your seat, thinking about a few days prior when you’d spent the evening writhing in bed, imagining his head between your thighs. Or the week before, when you’d zoned out during a business meeting, because the only thing ping-ponging around in your brain had been the sound of his voice, low and sultry. Good girl, you look so pretty with your mouth full. 

If for nothing else other than spite, you were determined to keep your wits about you. “Maybe, sometimes….” Even if it was difficult to maintain your composure, you closed the space between you even further, your hand on the armrest by his side, across his body. Kendall smelt of sun, of saltwater and cigars, and the cologne he wore that you’d never been able to place, maybe because he wore something different for every occasion, always equally intoxicating. And you were reminded how easy it was to flirt with him, to render him speechless with his breath caught in his throat. His eyes were half closed in anticipation, until you spoke again. “And then I remember that you’re bad news.” 

Being cruel hadn’t been your intention. You had only wanted to beat him at his own game. But when you pulled away, the ornery sparkle had left his eyes, and they were vacant. Actually, you might as well have slapped him. He tried to save face, swallowing hard, the fake smile he forced looked more like a grimace, and he shifted away from you and brought his legs closer to his chest, resting his elbows on his knees. “You’re probably right, I was uh…just kidding.”

You pulled away too, a little ashamed of yourself. But you decided to pretend you didn’t notice his reaction, for his sake and your own. So you changed the subject. “How was your lunch?”

“It was….good,” Kendall answered, but avoided your gaze. “Shiv and Roman are good. Connor is so happy….which is good, too, I guess.

“I would hope so.”

He didn’t answer, just turned to look at the ocean, and you followed his gaze, the last evidence of the sunset just a fading orange glow on the horizon. After a moment of silence, he laughed to himself, bitterly. “Yeah, fuck, I’m uh….I’m trying to think about the last time I was that excited about someone.”

“Oh yeah? Rava?”

“No.”

You knew what he was saying without him even having to say it, when he pivoted back towards you. The attraction you felt towards him – had always felt towards him, was impossible to deny, especially now, with his features basked in waning sunlight. He really was so handsome, you didn’t want to admit how good it felt to have all of his attention, to know what he was saying without having him say it. 

You gave him a weak grin. “I know the feeling.” However short-lived it had been, you just couldn’t bring yourself to lie.

“You’re right, you know?” he answered. “I’m bad. I really fucked it up. I’m sorry.” 

“Kendall, don’t-You’ve already apologized. It’s in the past now.”

At that sentence, he looked back at you, sitting up straight, though the forlorn gaze you were used to seeing had returned to his eyes. It was the most tortured you’d seen him since Logan died. “I loved you, too, you know that? I still-” he began, but paused, shook his head. “I hope you know I’d do anything for you, whether you want me or not.” 

“It’s okay, Ken.” You frowned, wrapping your arms around yourself in a tight hug. “You don’t have to worry about me, anymore.”

“I want to,” he said your name, and reached up to push a loose piece of hair off your face, thumb lingering on your cheek.

He was so close, getting closer, and you were so aware of the proximity between you both. Warmth bloomed in the pit of your stomach, rose like smoke up your neck and settled in your cheeks. And worse, it was prickling at the corners of your eyes.

Almost as if to demonstrate, Kendall’s palm left your face, and he took your hands gingerly, moving them away from your chest so he could pull you closer to him, an arm around your waist. You couldn’t resist the embrace, letting him tuck your head beneath his chin, body pressed against the sun-kissed skin of his torso.

You stayed like that a moment, listening to the steady thump of his heart, his fingertips grazing up and down your arms, skin tingling in their wake. It wasn’t enough. Pulling away slightly, you spoke. “You’ve always had me,” you said softly.

His mouth curved slightly, and he leaned in, his mouth finally connected with your own. Years worth of pining, of fighting, of misunderstanding and miscommunication all seemed to dissipate in that single press of his lips. It was soft, gentle, and he pulled away slightly at one point, to let his forehead rest against your own, his thumb swiping along your bottom lip, his free hand drawing your body somehow closer.

You’d remember the night for the rest of your life, even just if it was in snippets, his mouth on the inside of your thighs, how full, complete you felt when he finally gave himself over to you, the sweet nothings he whispered when you came undone beneath him. And you’d always remember afterward, as you laid in his arms, mapping out constellations in the sky stretched above you, how it felt like everything had finally clicked into place.

[gildedmuse]

Everytime I go to edit this story I rewrite huge chunks of it and it's so frustrating. At this point I'm posting it out of spite, so I can finally get around to the next goddamn chapter.

Characters/Pairings: Zoro/Law, Bepo, Penguin, Shachi, The Heart Pirates

Rating: Teen (warning it goes up immediately in the next chapter)

Summary: Trafalgar Law is just a bit of jerk who never thought he'd live past thirteen and somehow ends up alive and pirate captain without quite knowing why.

Roronoa Zoro is just a lost kid the Heart Pirates pull out of the North Sea who's only skills are attracting trouble and being able to talk with a goddamn katana clenched between his teeth. He should have died a frozen corpse up in the North Sea.

And when they're together they're a unstoppable force of nature.

Chapter I: Chest Pains

<--⚔️--🏴‍☠️--⚔️-->

In addition, please enjoy these cut scene. They no longer fit well into the narrative, but ai didn't want to just trash them because I have problems:

Every Few Weeks He's There

(AKA The One Where Zoro Finally Throws Law In A Swamp)

It happens each time they meet up over the next five months ("A frankly suspicious amount, given the size of the ocean and his inability to navigate, eh, Bepo?" That accusations had followed a particularly exciting run in with the young bounty hunter in which Law had been forcefully dragged into a mess involving an overly fawning zoan type girl and a couple assholes who considered themselves "big game hunters". It was only after they gotten through a maze of swamp and about five minutes of rolling his eyes at Tambaline's attempt to mold herself to the young Swordsman's front that it hits Law. Bepo is and his crew has no idea what's happening and those murderers are still out there. The second after he'd spoken the mink's name, before he can even summon a room, he finds himself hoisted into the Roronoa's arm as he swims them back across the damn swamp. The crew is perfectly fine while Law is soaked through and caked in mud. And Bepo doesn't even bother to look guilty for for than a second or two before adding, "Captain, he remembered you couldn't swim!" and Law is this close to going and finding those game hunting assholes and pointing them in this direction himself). In the meantime, Law finds being a captain comes more and more naturally to him, and being a pirate even easier.

--♥️--

I (Heart) Annoying You

(AKA The One Where Zoro Forgets He's Been Stabbed)

Though for sake of his reputation, Zoro insistents all Bepo's worrying over him is clearly just revenge for how the young kenshi accidentally annoyed the Bear's beloved captain a few weeks back after their last little navy scrimmage got a bit out of hand when certain marine captain with a grudge decide to pay them a visit. With his Superiors.

The fight had been little more than a way to pass the afternoon, hardly worth risking the ship for. So, Law has called - in one case rather forcefully - to make a retreat why they could, ending the scrimmage before any real damage had been done.

Except....

"You don't forget being stabbed in your side, Zoro-ya."

"Eh, it was six days ago, what's the big deal. It's perfectly fine, oh mighty Surgeon of Death."

And that had been the most frustrating part, how in the end Law had only needed to use his powers to redo Zoro's piss poor stiching jobs because of course he'd opened it back up and still said nothing. The young pirate hadn't even has the good grace to get infection and prove Law's point, nor had he appeared at all bothered by the pain. It honestly left the doctor near speachless from the fucking audacity of it all.... Though only after he had spent the time it took dragging the reluctant, unapologetic moron to the surgery and continues on into the prep until the whole procedure had been preformed under a constant barrage of every single half decent insult Law could summon, as well as a dozen or so he had needed to invent specifically for the occasion.

To say that Zoro had "accidentally annoyed" him would be like the All Blue is "a bit damp".