#I had to reupload this post because I messed it up with editing on my phone or sth

[averlym]

(click for better resolution, etc.)

[puma-riki]

✮⋆˙Can't Feel My Face˙⋆✮

Synopsis: Rockstar! Heeseung as your boyfriend

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: REUPLOAD ON MY NEW ACCOUNT

Heeseung | Jay | Jake | Sunghoon | Sunoo | Jungwon | Ni-ki

--------------------------------------------------------

Rockstar! Heeseung is a global sensation. His fame is international, his name alone sends shockwaves through the music industry, and he has fans from across the globe who worship the ground he walks on.

Rockstar! Heeseung sells out massive venues in every major city. Fans are captivated by his performances which are a magnetic display of raw sensuality and dark captivating energy

Rockstar! Heeseung has designer brands tripping over their own feet to have him model their product. His face on their advertisements promises sales to skyrocket.

Rockstar! Heeseung is highly sought after both in the industry and by fans everywhere.

Rockstar! Heeseung is also off the market and pathetically shameless about it

Rockstar Boyfriend! Heeseung has been dating you since before his debut

He boasts about you every chance he gets to whoever will listen, his fans, interviewers, hell even the paparazzi that follow him everywhere.

"Heeseung! You did so well today, the energy was insane!"

"Ah, Thank you thank you. My girlfriend was in the crowd with you guys, so you know I had to make it memorable."

"Fans are dying to know what the inspiration behind this album is! Your new album blew straight to the top of the charts upon release and it truly is a masterpiece. So what's the story behind it?"

"Ah, Thank you so much, truly. My girlfriend actually was a big inspiration behind this album-"

"Heeseung! Heeseung! Where are you headed after the show tonight!?"

"I'm going to my girlfriend's!"

His fans (like anyone) know about you and actually find your relationship sooo cute. Often at his shows and fan meets, his fans will actually be the first to bring you up.

"Heeseung, I made this for [name], could you give it to her next time you see her?"

"Of course, She'll love this actually!"

Being famous also means he earns money faster than he can spend it.

That being said he loves buying you stuff, whether you're with him or not.

He could be in a whole different country and he'll see something that he thinks you'd like or would look good on you or something stupid that just reminds him of you and he's already swiping his card.

"Heeseung, you don't have to, this is too expensive for me."

"Which is why I'm buying it, If you like it there's no reason you cant have it, angel"

You will be all over Heeseung's social media and even his YouTube channel, which his management runs.

Heeseungs personal social media is mostly edgy promotional stuff, but he likes posting pictures of you and him together.

His YouTube is primarily for behind-the-scenes chats. Behind-the-scenes photoshoots, music video shoots, and even concert performances.

And you're in majority of these videos because Heeseung tries to bring you literally everywhere with him if you're able to come with him

In an interview he'll gush about how nervous he is to shoot something because you'll be watching from behind the cameras

"You look amazing in this collection. What do you think?"

"Thank you, but I think [name] would look 100 times better in this collection than I do!"

And the editors will add a little note like "Gushing about his girlfriend, [name]"

Hee[name]luvr23: editors thought we were new lol

User27578: if you don't know [name] then do you even know who Heeseung is LMAO

You appear so often that you'll even get your own little interview segment.

"What are my thoughts on today's shoot? I think Heeseung does everything well, his expressions and stage presence is always so intricate. He couldn't possibly mess anything up today, he looks great."

You basically gain your own fanbase from Heeseung without doing anything

Like you have fan accounts and everything Heeseung eats up those edits of you

Backstage moments at concerts are also not free from Heeseung's constant talk about you, cameras present or not.

"Everything's ready for you, we're just waiting to start. Are you ready?"

"Yeah, definitely. Oh by the way, [name] picked out my outfit for tonight. She said it would make me look more rockstar-like. What do we think?"

"Well, she's not wrong."

HeeHee1015: EVERYONE SAY THANK YOU [NAME], GOOD LOOORRDDD

[name]'slovebot: just put [name] on his styling team already HE LOOKS SO GOOD OMFGFDSHWAKJ

Heeseung, being the music prodigy he is, spends a lot of time in the studio with his producer. His music is a hypnotic blend of dark sultry beats and atmospheric melodies that pull his listeners into a world of sensuality and introspection.

His sound is smooth yet edgy, weaving elements of R&B and synth-pop to create tracks exploring themes of love, desire, and inner conflict.

His lyrics cut deep. Filled with vulnerability, seduction, and desire also WHINY ASS HELL.

So what's this cheesy pop boy band love song doing in there?

While a lot of his songs are about you and follow that dark and sultry vibe, he does like to explore other genres of music and make something that's just special for you.

His producers know good and well why there's songs like that sprinkled in his edgy discography.

But that doesn't stop them from asking just to give him a hard time.

"This one really stands out from the other tracks. What's the story here?"

"Oh, it's uh... you know, for [name]. Just felt like I had to sneak it in there. She's on my mind all the time so it only makes sense."

like it's okay we can all see you blushing behind that mic no need to be shy

He also LOVES to sample voicemails and voice messages you send him, he also asks you to come into the studio to record adlibs and/or to be on background vocals.

He thinks your voice is heavenly someone save him

---

Heeseung is hunched in front of his computer in his studio late at night, working on a new track for his album. Your voice plays through his headphones as he's tweaking it to fit into the intro to his song. He's oblivious to your knocks on the door.

You peek through the door and spot your boyfriend, repeatedly clicking his mouse as he works and resting his chin on the palm of his hand. You smile softly and step into the room, shutting the door behind you.

"Boo." You say, slipping heeseungs headphones off his ears. He jumps slightly before smiling and swiveling his chair around towards you.

"Hey, is this my voice?" You ask furrowing your eyebrows as you hear the song blasting from his headphones.

He only grins and pulls you to sit in his lap, "Come listen," You pull the headphones over your ears as Heeseung lets the track play from the beginning. Sure enough, your voice is being played in the intro of his song, muffled because its an old voicemail you had left him, however long ago you dont remember.

"You're really out here sampling anything into your songs." You playfully roll your eyes and slip the headphones off your head and place them on his desk.

"Hey, its not just anything. Your voice totally fits the vibe of this song. And it makes the song more..." He trails off trying to find the right words, while you run your fingers through his hair. It's already tousled and messy from the amount of times he's run his own hands through it. "...more personal. It makes it feel more intimate and real."

"mmm, really?" You hum, a finger trailing from his temple down to trace his jaw. The way Heeseung always weaves pieces of you into his music makes your heart flutter and your heart race.

Heeseung's arms tighten around your waist, trying to bring you impossibly closer. His lips purse into a line as he looks at you with star-filled eyes, something he does when he wants something.

"Hey, I was thinking, actually... could you record a few lines for the backtrack. And maybe you could hum like you just did." He sounds almost breathless when he says the last part, he doesn't mean too but you're so close to him and you look so gorgeous.

"you're ridiculous," You playfully roll your eyes, resting your hands on his shoulders. "It's almost 3 in the morning, Hee. You should go to bed and come back to this tomorrow."

Heeseung is a simple and weak man so who is he to protest. "Okay, how about a kiss in the meantime then?"

---

His friends, love you to death like that's gang, but Jesus Christ if they hear one more thing from Heeseung about you then you're gonna be out of a boyfriend.

Jay: Remember that after party in Tokyo?

Heeseung: Oh yeah, I remember before that [name] and I got lost trying to find this ramen house and ended up walking around the whole city before we found it.

Sunghoon: Bro, we were talking about the party.

Like I said before, Heeseung tries to bring you everywhere.

He gets so excited when he brings you as a plus one to red-carpet events and gets to match outfits with you

Will just about die if you try to step away from him, so reporters can take photos of him.

"What are you doing all the way back there??"

"I'm just giving you space so they can't take photos of you, Hee"

"But I want you up here with me."

pouty and utterly pathetic

and also captured on camera because fans go crazy over Heeseung pouting over you even being 2 steps away from him. Like okay, my turn when?

Your #1 hype boy

Always redirects attention to you when you guys are interviewed at these events

and you're a bit embarrassed because like?? YOU'RE the plus one, HE was invited here lmfao

"Heeseung! You look so good tonight. Who's you're date!?"

"My girlfriend, [name] We're matching tonight but I think she definitely pulls this look off better than me!"

Then he makes you twirl for the camera and the camera will zoom out to show both of you and Heeseungs eyes are GLUED to you and everyone can see the love and adoration in his eyes.

Also super attentive during these events and also when you're out in public with him in general

"Are you good? Are you ready for all of this?"

"Is this okay with you?"

"Let me know if you're uncomfortable, okay?"

"Just say the word and I'll take you home, angel."

Atp I think he's more eager to go home than you are.

If you thought he couldn't be more affectionate than he already is well, [loud incorrect buzzer]

While Heeseung likes to brag and gush about you in public, he tries to keep the PDA minimal.

Behind closed doors is a different story though, good luck lol.

Will be all over you, he'll follow you around the apartment and latch onto you like you'll disappear into thin air

After Heeseungs had a particularly long day, which is pretty much every day with flying to another country and back on some days and having dragging schedules on others, All he wants to do is come home and laze around with his girlfriend

His favorite thing is laying in bed with you at night, whether your both scrolling on your phones, talking, or something else.

He likes that you both can enjoy each other's company without having to do or say anything.

He likes being able to lay on you most of the time, but he's definitely not complaining when you're the one practically lying on top of him.

Sometimes when you fall asleep before him, he'll go live to talk to his fans for a few minutes and he likes to sneakily pan the camera down to his chest where your fast asleep.

No particular reason he just thinks you look cute and likes to flex that he has the most gorgeous girl on the planet lying in bed with him.

[name]luvr: SHES SO CUTIE OMFG

user6738: Heeseung can you gtfo of the way, I'm trying to admire your gf

lowkey fights with his fans over you (all jokes ofc)

"Heeseung will you let [name] know that I saved 100 kittens from a fire today and drove them to new homes in my lambo (I'm 6'2 btw).. okay well I saved 200 kittens, now what?"

"are you 6'2 tho, do not ever let me catch you in the streets br- ow!"

"You're being too loud, Hee"

There must be something in the morning air because he is crazy.

The morning sun filters through the curtains of your apartment. You and Heeseung are still in bed, no plans for the day. You're awake just teetering the edge of sleep and being fully awake

"Do you want anything for breakfast? I could make something"

The thought of you leaving him and the warmth of your bed right now just about kills him because he hugs you closer to his body and buries his face in your neck

"I'd rather just have you right here."

Oh!

"Wow, smooth talker." You playfully roll your eyes

"Only for you."

[cleewii]

WE’VE GROWN TIRED

pairing: levi ackerman x fem!afabreader

rating: m for mature

warning (s): 18+ content, grief, death, angst, mentions of gore, unhealthy coping mechanisms, sub levi, dom reader, badly edited, hurt/comfort???

word count: 2.5K

note: i’m prolly gonna regret posting this as it is right now since i had bigger ideas for it, but it’s been sitting in my notes app for almost a year and i figure it’s decent enough as is. levi ,the loml, one day i’ll pump out an actual full length fic for you instead of this lil blurb of emotionally driven p*rn 💕

I do not permit the reposting/reuploading of my work on any platform. i do not allow the use of my work for other forms of entertainment. not even with credit

days had been spent accompanied by sleepless nights where the recollection of rain slicked fields filled his head. crimson poured across blades of grass like a grizzly wash of watercolor paint, dribbling down into the earth, which he could still taste on tounge. gritty and suffocating. He always wakes from these dreams as though he’d been pulled out of water, drinking in air like he’s been starved of it.

he has no time to dwell on the past. the sun creeps into the morning, and soon enough he’s pulling on his uniform and tightening belts into their buckles. new assignments drone on in the background of his mind, and he works like he’s on autopilot. even when the muscles in his arms and legs begin to ache, and his bones scream within the confines of his body, he does not stop, for at least that can distract him from the emptiness of the seats beside him in the mess halls, and the harrowing silence that fills the dusk.

he’s come outside to the fields to check on the stables when he’s met with a curious sight.

a stone, large and erroded, has been placed a few feet away from the grouped cavalry. blossoms decorate the space in front of it, filling the grass with shades of yellow, red, and purple, and what’s most curious of all is the girl that sits in front of it. between her fingers she twirls the thin stem of a white flower—her mind must be heavily preoccupied because she hasn’t noticed that the fibers holding the stem together have gone bruisy—the petals beginning to wilt in her hold.

she’s muttering to herself, words he can’t quite catch and doesn’t care enough to try, but it’s then that he realizes she looks familiar. that familiarity brings a memory he wishes he could wipe away from the world.

you, the girl who had cradled isabels remains, tears melding with the rain pouring down unto the gore. you’d wrapped her up with the cloak off your back, and carried her all the way back to base. the sight had sickened him in the moment, just knowing that lifeless eyes and a carcass lay rotting away beneath that bone white insignia brought acid to his tounge, but he’d said nothing, even if he wanted to yell and scream, because what on earth could a stranger want with the remains of his family? what could you possibly hope to achieve by lugging grief with you like a medal? he swallowed down the rage, and looked ahead. he never saw you again after that day, but here you are now.

he’s come close enough now to slightly make out your words, and it’s when her name slips from your tounge that you have his full attention.

“wish you could see it, isabel. m’sure you would’ve loved it….”

“what could you possibly know about what she’d love?”

the words come out of his mouth before he realizes it.

they’re bitter, angry, a sort of rage you’d spot in a wounded animal, and he looks at you as though he could pour all of his pain into you and your borrowed grief and be done with it all.

“I…” The words don’t seem to make their way past your lips. you’re stuck staring between the cold sharpness of his eyes and the empty space beside his head, flickering back and fourth like you could somehow find the words written in the air.

What you want to say is that you’re sorry.

Sorry for everything he must be feeling, sorry for the loss that life has dealt him, sorry that you had to remind him of it all. But then you realized he may be sick of the sorry’s, and then you think you want to tell him that she loved him, and you had understood that completely, even though you’d only been apart of her life for a small, precious fragment of time.

You want to tell him all of these things, even if it might make him hate you, even if it makes you hate yourself, and yet, you sit in silence. Mouth pressed thinly, eyes glossy, as though choking on your own shame.

He stomps away before the courage to respond finds you, the words dying on your tounge, and you’re left to mourn alone.

***

It’s funny, now that he thinks about. How cold and cruel your beginning was. So different, a drastic change from the exchanges the two of you would find yourselves in now.

over time he’d see more and more of you. No longer a ghost painted in grief, or a little girl crying for her friend in the mud. You’ve grown, matured into a soldier, evident by the scars in your skin, the hardened look in your eyes, and the tears that no longer come.

As much as he fought against it, he found himself drawn to you. Maybe it’s because you knew about a small part of himself, and loved her enough to honor her when he couldn’t. Maybe it’s because you fought to wedge yourself into his life, forcing him to know you, down to the atoms of your being, the endless secession of thoughts in your mind—so far and so long he had to wander the planes of your existence. Somewhere along that journey, he found himself pushing forward without your hand to guide him. He began to wonder, and soon enough he began to long, and finally, when the tension grew so thick you could cut through it with a blade, you confronted him with secrets he’d been harboring, and returned them with your own.

It’s safe to say you’ve become much more than the girl at the grave, wearing your insignia of bones.

hushed and hurried, you’re frantic in stealing away his every breath. swallowing down his frustration and yearning to take all of him for yourself, no longer reserved and eager to take up as little space in his life as possible. now, you take from him what you will and want, however much of him you can in the few minutes time allows you.

try as you might, time is an unmerciful lord.

When flowers bloom, beautiful and bright, filling the world with a spectrum of color after such bitter cold, it is hope for the future. Hope that no violent winter will fall upon the life that has sprouted, but this hope is short lived, and eventually, the clouds thicken, the world sinks into gray, and we are forced to birth anew. time holds the earth in its monstrous hands, and the joy the two of you find is picked at, threatened to be wrenched away once things have finally begun to brighten.

***

“i think there’s going to be a storm.” You glare at the darkening sky, fingers digging at the thin cotton of your shirt.

“that so?” Levi keeps his eyes on the stack of paperwork before him, the warm glow of the candle at his desk illuminating the parchment. the weather had been calm only moments ago, just before the two of your retired into his office. the pot of tea at his side is still warm.

“a bad one,” you turn. your eyes linger on his form and the shadows waltzing on the wall behind him.

his looks up. his lips pressing into a fine line.

***

It’s a shame that the light-hearted days are gone.

back then, it wasn’t all about saving the world. back then, losing didn’t mean the fall of humanity. nothing changes the weight of loss, grief continues to sit within levi’s heart like a cancer, and no matter the stakes, it’s a tumor that will never disappear, but there was a vision within it. the desperation for answers to impossible questions, there was a rhythm to it all. It made sense, and as much as he hated to admit it, the predictability was something he appreciated.

But that’s gone now.

the world has twisted itself into an unforeseeable monster, and he rides its back hoping it won’t shake him off and leave him in the dust. the day he lost his entire team was the first sign that something was coming—that the good old days were gone. long gone.

how he wishes it were the good old days again.

***

the first time you kill another person, he’s right there beside you.

he can tell that you’re scared, a fear he’s been familiar with for years, and one he could only hope, try, and then fail to shield you from. he’d never been the type to try and evade weakness, not for himself or anybody else, but for you, he’d pray to whatever god was out there that you’d never know that type of pain. even if pain made you stronger, even if it was what made you the person you were now.

***

shakey hands grasp at the plackets of his shirt, fumbling with buttons and boutonnières, almost tearing the fabric in the process.

“hey,” he takes your hand in his, pulling them away despite the way you huff. “you need to calm down.”

your shoulders rise and fall clumsily with the weight of your breaths. you’d been trying so hard to stomach down the guilt—forcing a mask of cold determined stoicism in the hopes of putting your subordinates at ease. turns out, you could handle stone hearted objectivity as well as directing your blades towards another human being.

the grip he has on your hands is so gentle you could crumble. i don’t deserve it, comes the thought, and as hard as you try to wipe it away, that voice comes to you as violently as it had long ago. your unable to meet his eyes, scared he’d see the way you’re slipping, and you know all that awaits you is the worry you wish he didn’t have to deal with.

“i’m sorry,” you murmur, letting the fabric of his shirt fall from your hands. “i….im just—“

“scared. i know.”

“this is so hard, levi. i cant….” you swallow. “i dont want to keep watching it happen.” he knows what you mean without you having to explain it. he knows that weight on your shoulders, the pit in your stomach, the ache in your bones. he knows it because he’s felt it time and time again.

“i’m so tired,” your head falls against his shoulder. his hand reaches to cup the back of your head, silent as you sniffle against him.

“i know…”

***

you’re still upset; it’s present in the way you offer no words, just the sound of breathing and soft moans between the two of you.

your skin is hot against his, lips selfish with the need to kiss him again and again. You take what you want and he lets you—gives it all to you.

the undertones of frustration and anger linger in the air, neither directed at either party but still present nonetheless. it was bound to happen, with how shitty the past few days have been. the everyday had managed to leech itself into a moment where it shouldn’t have been allowed to, and the thought makes Levi sick.

not here, not now, and never with you.

“slow down….” he groans when your hips grow to a rather brutal pace.

“too much for you?“ there’s a halfheartedness to your voice. your lips brush against his ear and he can’t help but groan with it. disregarding the bite to your words, you do listen to him and slow to a steady grind, quelling the burn in your muscles while you sigh with the warmth he brings.

his hands drag from your thigh up to the flesh of your hips, thumbs digging into the divit where your skin creases with soft affection. savoring the moment, he thinks. savoring time, and nights of peace, and you. he drinks in your expressions, the curves and hard lines of your body, the softness of your skin beneath his touch, and the rise and fall of your chest that follows with every breath. his nose traces your throat, shivering as your hand follows up the back of his head and lays pressed against his cheek. “just want to make this last. don’t be a brat.” he murmurs, letting his lips feather across the skin of your jugular. “take it slow with me…”

you hum in response, and feel the aggression and frustration melt out of you. yes, there wasn’t room for any of that. never when it was just the two of you. the rest of the world, and the realities beyond your closed bedroom door falls upon deaf ears as the two of you meld into bliss.

for the first time in so long, you can feel the ache leave, and you invite him to take its place for however long he’ll allow.

if he had any say it in, he’d do it for the rest of your lives.

Your name passes through his lips as a breathless whisper, his fingers digging deeper into your skin.

“Hold on just a sec, honey.” you press kisses to the sides of his face. “M’almost there, too”

He buries himself into your neck, swallowing down a hiss when you speed up just a bit.

Fuck. You were gonna be the death of him.

“Oh, Levi,” Your fingers pull at his hair, “Fuck, you’re so good to me.”

His eyes go a bit glossy; a pretty sheen washing over his steel eyes as he lets you overcome his each and every sense. You. You. You. In every crevice of his mind he finds you, and when he pulls himself back into your arms the words come tumbling out.

“Love you…”

You trace a soft touch up the nape of his neck, letting your fingers find the soft fuzz of his undercut with a grin. “What was that?”

“I love you.” His voice breaks off a bit, feathering into a breathy groan.

“I love you too,” You kiss just below his ear, then press another to his throat, and then finally catch his lips with your own. “so much.”

maybe that’s what does it; the driving force behind the snapped knot, the crescendo in the pit of his stomach, so sharp and so hard, soothing over his bones with warm sweet nothings. He throws his head back with a broken moan as it washes over him, painting the feeling of your throbbing cunt into memory as he fills you up, so sweet and tight.

a small voice in his head tells him that was a bad idea, that he should’ve been more careful, but the weight of you in his arms, your soft mouth pressing rosette kisses to his skin forces that voice away.

it takes a minute before he finds his own. “feel better?”

“yeah,” you breathe, “much better.”

“good.”

[lynburnlegagy123]

This post is making me feel a lot more comfortable with the idea of publishing my fanfics before they're finished. When I was sixteen I wrote a fanfic, finished a whole chapter without spending so long on it that I hated the start, and I was so proud of myself and put that chapter up immediately.

I started reading fanfics when I was twelve, and had been writing them since I was six, but I'd never actually put one online before. And some of the fanfics I read had an update schedule, and the ones that didn't hardly seemed (to someone who never checked her email so didn't trust herself to get alerts and kept the tab of every ongoing fanfic she liked open at all times) to update at all. So I wrote "updates every Saturday" in the description, forgetting as soon as the chapter was done and there the two months it had taken me to write it; the big old nothing I had for chapter two; all the work I was about to have moving into being a senior in high school; the time the year prior when I'd tried to write a big and informative post about Autism on Facebook every day in April and wound up in tears every day and beating myself up over any missed or rushed posts, even as all my parents' friends complimented the posts and told me that I was doing great and they were learning a lot, and that no one would be mad at me for not posting something revolutionary every day.

The fic got 8 visitors that first day, most of them within the first hour or so, and I felt like I was on top of the world. The next Saturday, when I posted the next chapter, which I had pushed myself hard to write in a week, it got 42. People followed, and favourited, and over the course of writing it I got these two reviews:

I had an audience, and even if it wasn't like the ones some of the fics I read had it was mine, and it had people interested in reading what I was writing. Which made me feel really, really guilty when I had to extend the deadline to once every two Saturdays, and worse when that wasn't enough. I took a hiatus of a month, and wasn't able to get the story under control in that time. I knew where I wanted the story to go, but I wasn't sure how to get there and in the course of trying to get something out every week I wrote myself into corners that I didn't know a way out of, and that didn't serve the story.

A fanfic I'd loved and daydreamed about for years was turning into a chore, and it wasn't even one I was doing well.

When it came to chapter thirteen, I published a half-written, completely unedited mess in order to get something in on time. Then I put in some actual time to get it finished to my satisfaction, but it just wasn't something I could work with. I'd introduced plots without knowing where they were going, put my protagonist into a situation I didn't know how to get him out of, and just generally made a hot mess of things. I reuploaded chapter thirteen three times, at least, and the last time it came with a note, explaining what had happened and that I definitely still wanted to write the original fic, but I couldn't do it with the version I'd written thus far.

I labelled the story complete and a first attempt, replaced the description with the following message:

"This story has been abandoned to be redone by the author at a later date. Please don't read unless you were already reading or you want to see a story that stops in the middle of a plot line and wasn't edited because the writer didn't have enough time, or you're reading this later on and want to see what the original form of the fic was like."

and have published one one shot, for a different fandom, since.

I still want to write the story, I still love it, daydream about it and spend a lot of my irl conversations trying to work out aspects of it. But the options available to me are waiting to have written everything before I publish anything, or publishing without a schedule, because I absolutely will not do that to myself again. And OPs talk about WIPs makes me a lot more comfortable with the no-schedule idea.

Yeah sure we’ve all binged a long fic, but have you ever read a WIP and followed someone’s life?

Tidbits of information - (“I graduated today!”) - and small joys (“It’s my birthday!”) and you get to be there to say “This chapter made me cry, happy birthday, thank you for gifting us this”.

I remember reading this fic of someone at the end of high school, older than me then. They seemed infinitely wise, spoke of their future career and getting into the college they wanted. I remember them posting on days they felt like nothing could bring them down - and on days the whole world did and it’s the aftermath of a hospital visit. Cancer, I think it was, their father. I got to the end of the story, I know their father was fine, but also they got to finish their WIP. I graduated three years later than them, still dutifully wrote thank you notes in every comment. I wonder if they remember me, or just the collective of people reading the story as it updates.

Four years ago I was into my first year of university, my first year of figuring out being out in public spaces. I made excuses as to why my name didn’t match my paperwork and read a fic on the train, the same five chapters over and over again for the next years as I thought the story abandoned. It updated this week after such a long hiatus, I left another thank you comment.

There’s an author I love, they update their stories like a clockwork. When they don’t, I check their blog, just to see if their doing alright, not because I feel like they owe me, just to ensure whether I better get out my laptop to write that really detailed university level essay chapter analysis to get them smiling when their day sucked.

And then, once, when I was 17, I read a fic that hadn’t updated in over a decade. I wasn’t even in primary school when it started posting. On the last chapter, I left a comment that, in retrospect, was horribly rambly and most likely full of grammar mistakes. The author replied and though I couldn’t see their face, I thought of them crying. They were married now, had children, and hadn’t thought about this fic in years. They went through their files again, found another half written chapter and an outline. I got two new chapters to read that year.

And then, recently, someone told me they got back into writing original fiction because of my comments. I get to read nearly weekly chapters.

I love binge reading a finished fic, but nothing is ever going to top the feeling of anticipation of waiting for a chapter, the pure joy when someone tells you I was done with this, but you made me think of it again, so this is for you.

Anyway, I think we should romanticize reading WIPs more, growing up alongside the authors writing the stories we love.

[kdramalands]

film recommendations for summer break

6. Teiichi: Battle of Supreme High (2017)

Note:

Do you want to know how to make your own country?

If I had to choose king and queen for my live action empire, this film would definitely get a crown.

You can count on Teiichi if you want to travel into another realm, that of crazy school politics of all-boys school. I thought I wouldn’t like it, because politics is definitely not my thing, but it wasn’t just all about that, and honestly? Everything made sense and it was very logical as well. Explanations that appeared somewhere along the film were very helpful and it was very pleasant to watch.

This film is straight-up crazy, mad funny, and gripping as well. Cast of this film is soooooo damn rich too. Just look at them flower boys… #squad.

Part 1  ||  Part 2  ||  Part 3  ||  Part 4  ||  Part 5  ||  Part 7  ||  Part 8  ||  Part 9  ||  Part 10  ||  Part 11  ||  Part 12

[renyanchan]

TWISTED WONDERLAND HEIGHT CHARTS (STAFF + STUDENTS)

more info + full res below the cut :,)

EDIT: Hello! I’ve completely remade the height chart and its better quality and in high order! You can find the full res here. And you can find more notes about this particular height chart below!

Below you can also find the staff and individual dorms!

Any striked out text below was in reference to the original image.

sooo, i tried to combine screenshots of the original height chart i made so i can post it here, not sure if tumblr is going to absolutely destroy the quality or not (if it does, i’ll probably edit this with a link to imgur or smth, sorry if you cant read it hgfdh) 

EDIT: I’ve updated it with Malleus’s correct height! Sorry about you malleus simps thinking he was like 8 foot lmfao

anyway i’ve got a little bit to say about this since,,, this was a mess to make (also im sure someones probably done this already, but i havent seen one yet)

This was a personal project of mine and I wasn’t originally going to post it, but I felt like it would be useful to some people,, please lmk if I messed anything up or made any mistakes because I 100% did not do this perfectly.

You’re welcome to reference all you want, but please don’t reupload it anywhere without my permission since i took way too long making this ;v;(referencing it in other posts or linking to it is fine!)

It should be obvious, but these are just the official sprites from the game and I did not draw them.

THE HEIGHT CHART

(In regards to the way I measured) Grim and all the Savanaclaw boys are measured by the top of their heads, NOT by the tip of their ears/horns. The official heights don’t specify what they measured to so I decided measuring by the top of their heads like the rest of the students makes sense. These ones are pretty much the only characters I had problems calculating their height with.

However, this makes me run into a problem such as Grim looks abnormally tall/large, but that’s probably because he’s got a chunkier body type. (we love you bby,,)

All characters are lined up by their heels, with the exception of Ortho. I measured him by the bottom of his foot because he’s a robot, and I’d imagine the platform-looking bits of his feet are connected. I believe Ortho also canonically floats slightly off the ground, but I didn’t bother accounting for that since,, I’m measuring the length of his body in comparison.

The original models are not perfectly accurate height-wise to each other, so I had to resize them. Proportions also may look slightly off because of that.

Heights are not pixel perfect, and may be slightly off.

Malleus has the tallest listed height (202cm) and that includes his horns. As such, Malleus is 193cm without his horns. Of course, proportions aren’t perfect so he looks a bit off.

INDIVIDUAL DORMS + STAFF

FULL RES: Heartslabyul / Savanaclaw / Octavinelle / Scarabia / Pomefiore / Ignihyde / Diasomnia / Staff

MY THOUGHTS

Dear lord why do you have to be wearing a hat rook

malleus is (no longer) absolutely massive

azul is so tiny??? (in comparison to the tweels at least lmfao, silver is also pretty small too but with malleus next to him ig thats not surprising)

this took way too long to make because i ended up realizing i calculated every single character’s heights incorrectly and made them significantly shorter than i meant so I had to go back and resize everyone lmfao (the heights should be correct now tho!!)

POST-EDITS (Theres going to be a lot of these,,)

There’s a typo on Silver’s height. It say’s 5′2, but he’s actually 5′9 jgfd

Malleus’s height actually includes his horns,, according to the official guidebook, malleus is 193cm without his horns. He’s pretty much the exact same height as Jack. (thanks to @/pocasu for letting me know ^^) (to be completely honest i thought it was extremely absurd that he was 6′7 without his horns but i had no frame of reference fghdgf) (EDIT: i’ve fixed his height!! For reference, Malleus is 202cm including his horns!)

Completely updated and remade the height chart! She’s pretty now haha. Thanks for the overwhelming support on this, it was fun to make and I appreciate those pointing out any mistakes i made!

[shotorozu]

polyamory headcanons

(bakudeku x reader)

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, midoriya izuku (bnha)

legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns used, strong quirk (not specific)

headcanon type : all of them minus the extreme angst (x reader)

note(s) : i have another platonic class 1-a post coming right up! and another lengthy post,, theres no editing with this whdnwks

»»————-　♡　————-««

how it came to be

so this entire thing practically began even before bakugou realized his feelings for you (i’ll explain in a bit)

midoriya KNEW there was something going on, as soon as he met you he just didn’t know what it was. and he eventually realized his feelings for you when the dekusquad made him realize after being in denial

meanwhile, bakugou was never going to admit that he, bakugou katsuki— was crushing on what was an ‘extra’ to him

i wouldn’t really say you’re an extra really, because your quirk is so impressive to the both of them, labelling you as an extra would be dumb.

the dekusquad urged him to just make his move, while bakugou was still stuck in his denial stage (much to the bakusquad’s dismay)

midoriya was the first one to express his interest, asking you questions ranging from your quirk, to basically anything about yourself.

and bakugou had to sit through all of it in silence because he just had to sit right infront of you two

eventually— it became too much, because a big confrontation sparked between the two, with bakugou asking what the hell he was doing with you

and around this time, midoriya wasn’t so ‘scared’ of bakugou anymore. i mean, there’s still respect going around— but he won’t allow himself to be beat up anymore!

“if you like Y/N, why don’t you make a move, kacchan?”

it’s very competitive— a lot more than before. bakugou finally started to make his move, forcing offering you to spar with him, and making you food.

and midoriya only continued to make advances (the bakusquad and the dekusquad were in shambles just watching the three of you)

and that’s where you’re stuck between 2 choices. it’s hard because you like the both of them! they’re amazing in their own way

to stop the bickering, you proposed a polyamory— to satisfy all sides of the story. izuku immediately agree, and while bakugou HATED the idea, it was better than not having you at all

as long as izuku’s willing to share, then he won’t be so opposed to it. he’s in for it for you

everyone was so shocked when it was revealed that you three were DATING

hugs

you’re always in the middle, this isn’t very surprising.

katsuki always wants you to be in his bear hug, and midoriya would be content with just spooning you.

it’s so hot when it comes to cuddling, and no, not in that way. i mean— katsuki’s body heat is just TOO MUCH

so, y’all just ditch the damn blanket, y’all have katsuki anyway.

katsuki’s arms will be hooked around your waist— his head placed on the crook of your neck.

meanwhile izuku held your hand, his legs sprawled on top of yours— his head laying on your chest.

also, there will be a lot of kicking 💀

but, you do occasionally let katsuki be in the middle when it’s especially colder. you don’t want izuku to be cold too.

kisses

similar to my todomomo x reader post, the three of you find each other doing that classical kiss— where two people kiss your cheek at the same time (on opposite sides)

katsuki’s lips are warm, pretty soft. not at all flakey— and izuku’s lips are a little bit on the drier side, but they’re pretty smooth.

because izuku has a lot of scars on his hands, you’ll take your time with kissing each scar— meanwhile, katsuki traces the scars on his free hand

you and izuku love kissing katsuki’s cheekbones. he says he absolutely hates it when you both do it without warning, but he can’t help but anticipate it— every time you both go near his face

katsuki and izuku love to hold contests on who can fluster you the most— and who can kiss you the longest :))

how you guys spend time

if there’s something you can all agree on— it’s that katsuki’s cooking is the best.

cooking sessions are a staple of your relationship

y’all tend to close your eyes, and just pick a random recipe— so that you can try to make it, even if katsuki doesn’t like the food

he’ll still make it, because his ego gets fed whenever he sees you and izuku watch him cook intensely

there were plenty of times where y’all almost burned down the kitchen while trying to make wagyu beef

but it is pretty fun to hear katsuki’s food commentary, which is usually rare— since he loves to cook in silence

comfort

you basically have 2 guard dogs with you. they’re so protective— anyone that messes with you won’t see the light of day

if you get hurt during training, they’ll freak the fuck out— debating if they should drag you to recovery girl, or if they should patch you up themselves

katsuki would make izuku run to the medkit, and katsuki would take a look at any injuries— massaging any sore muscles

we all know katsuki is shit at words, especially when it comes to reassurance and panic attacks (if ever) but that’s why izuku’s here

he knows exactly what to do (excluding the first time) and he knows exactly what to say, but that doesn’t mean katsuki is useless

he’ll pull you close against his chest, softly rocking you back and forth— wiping any tears that cascade down your cheeks, caressing your arms up and down

if izuku felt terrible, you’ll distract him by keeping you close— while katsuki RAN to get the all might documentary izuku wouldn’t stop watching, and a few blankets

y’all don’t need blankets but, it’s helpful in situations like this

if katsuki was feeling down, you and izuku would allow him to vent, getting everything out in his system— as the both of you sat right next to him, comforting him in silence

overall (and additional things)

it’s a big rollercoaster

they’re the best boyfriends you’ll ever have, despite the initial tension.

of course, there will be fights here and there— due to katsuki and izuku’s clashing personalities (and competitiveness)

but you’re also the mediator for the both of them, technically a middle point. something that’d get them to get along for once

the entire relationship is so powerful?? like,, wow. you must be hella hot AND special if you’re dating izuku and katsuki.

the chemistry is good though— you all tend to agree on one thing for sure, it’s that none of you would have it differently,

because it’s three or none in this house

overall? 10/10.

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei, i only own the writing and i do not profit off of my hobby

do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my works for audio readings without permission

[katartstrophe]

Aziraphale turned towards the doorway, clearly listening, because his eyes widened in fear, the first that Crawly had seen since arriving. He said something and now he sounded afraid as well and Crawly shoved the knife back in her boot. She snatched up the manacles and examined them, hoping against hope that they weren’t— Of course they were. Hellfire forged and the only things on Earth that could bind an angel’s power away for so long. Only one force could destroy Hellfire forged metal. Crawly’s hands shook.

That’s right - another delightful addition for the Good Omens minibang, this time with an incredible fic by @cassieoh . I was SO spoiled with her fic - it was great to be able to geek out over linguistics with someone else, and the way she writes Crowley and Aziraphale longing for each other, through an ever-shifting language barrier, limited only to the barest communication to express themselves, I - whew. I’m a mess.

Read the fic, A Beast that Crawls, here! As always, thank you to @do-it-with-style-events for hosting. I will very likely be posting more art for both her and my other author, but it will probably need to be censored.................;;;;;

EDIT: reupload because I goofed the watermark placement. embarrassing

[strawberry-metal]

JoJo JoJo★Night Fever

Leave a like if you enjoyed the video, watch in 1080p blah blah blah

Decided to make a video with the Stone Ocean ladies. To be honest I'm not very proud of this video. I used a camera data, but uh- I forgot that JoJo models are tall, so I had to go through and fix that, then I saw that the camera data was for the short ver of the song, not the full version, soooo I had to copy parts of the camera motion and transfer em, and for the last 2,000 frames I made the camera myself. I should of probably just done the camera data myself because I really messed up the lovely one I used for this vid. Not just that but I feel like something is missing from the vid? Basically I feel it's not interesting enough for people (especially with short attention spans) to watch the whole thing.

It's with great pain that I'll have to say this is one of my worst videos. I am not happy with how it turned out, and I know that again, it's not gonna hold anyone's interest to watch the whole thing, despite the the painstaking effort I put into this. I'm uploading this anyway despite it all though because Stone Ocean hype, and it's been too long since I uploaded another video-

Oh I got new models specifically for this video as well, and I made them match by using the same creator!

Models: ぷす太

GOTASH: 匿名ユーザ

Motionblur3: Sovoro

ObjectLuminous, Kirakira, SVSSAO, HGDiffuse, Diffusion7, SSAO: Beamman

LikeHDR: Otamon

Post Rim Lighting: MasterBallP edit by ChestNutScoop

Music: Pastel Palettes from Bang Dream's cover of Luka Luka Night Fever by samfree

Stage: SEGA and MekaioStage motion, Camera motion and Facial posing: Mekaio

Last 2,000 frames of the camera motion: Me

Motion data: This motion is from the early days of MMD, over 12 years ago. Literally no one credited who made the motion and would just reupload it on Mediafire for download. If anyone knows, please tell me.

Oh, and the JoJo logo in the preview image is taken directly from the official Stone Ocean logo.

[hoedameron]

hey y’all!! new gifset means a post of me blabbering about what happened behind the scenes <33

to start off, let’s talk about the above gifs. y’all, i had TWENTY EIGHT (28) CLIPS TO MAKE GIFS OF 😳 now, that is by far the MOST i have had for any show i’ve ever giffed (it’s the mint tall illness xx) so there was a lot to consider. i knew i wanted some key scenes to be made (edrisa drinking that four loko, fire consuming sarah, and the eyeball) so i worked myself around those. there are other scenes that i wanted to gif but just...couldn’t fit them all and may be used for future gifs (if i get inspired). these two above were made to be in the original gifset but ultimiately got cut because: 

the ainsley gif has very few frames and moved too fast for my liking despite it being at 5 speed like the rest of them. typically i don’t like really short gifs with less than 35 frames but sometimes i do make exceptions (like my gifset for 2x02) -was going to be a “warm” gif

 i LOVED this scene between malcolm and edrisa when she gets on the table because she is trying to come down from a caffeine high. when there is no brightwell content, i LOVE a good maldrisa scene <3 really wanted to include this one but i wasn’t too sure of the coloring :(( i felt that it was a bit too dark and i knew the other psd that i used (yes, i used two psds hehe) wouldn’t help much. so, ultimately, with a HEAVY heart, i had to drop it from the lineup -was going to be a “cool” gif

the blue and gold theme was by accident. i had gotten new psds to prepare for this week and one of the new ones amplified the blues of dark scenes (like the entirety of prodigal son) and really liked how it looked on the edrisa gif. then i started to see the pattern of the scenes i picked (cold, warm, cool, warm) and decided to run with it. like i said above, i did use two psds and the other psd is for warmer scenes that the main psd couldn’t really do them much justice. the three gifs with the other psd? you know my fave game :3c answer in the tags!

like i said before, there were a LOT of scenes i wanted to use. i spent like five hours on this set? that also includes small breaks like for lunch and bathroom breaks plus i had to give photoshop some downtime aka force quitting in task manager to give it some room to breathe because there was A LOT to go through. i didn’t want to do anything fancy so i went with my new favorite framing pero i added 1 px to the height (is that right? i forget). also, i am SOOO sorry for making it a long post but i think it was truly inevitable lol.

here are some scrapped scenes:

the crime scene of the dead former debutante. i promised y’all i wouldn’t gif these crime scenes and i almost broke that promise because the scene was soo interesting

malcolm on the tail of jt and the camera follows them as malcolm talks about candy. REALLY fun scene that i would’ve loved to gif but simply had no room on the roster :((

the gilessica scene <3 i wanted to put at least one of my fave pairings in there pero there were some other really good scenes i knew others would find more interesting

*there were other clips i saved that are self-indulgent and for me for future headers or sidebar gifs ;)

i wrote down four quotes, one spoken by gil and the rest were spoken by malcolm. i would’ve used the ainsley quote at the end about how she has a reason to be a bit reckless because it is a solid quote but i felt like it would be overused so i didn’t. i knew i should’ve bolded what sarah said to differentiate somebody else is talking pero like...this was my fourth? fifth reupload? because i kept messing up in the tags and wasn’t sure of the order plus there was a gif that didn’t look right so i had to go back and edit it again (i won’t tell u which one that is my secret shh). everything was kinda asjdksajkdlsa like it was getting closer to my deadline (ONCE AGAIN) so it was basically a mini crunch to get published and in the queue. 

PERO I AM SOO, SO, SOOOOO PROUD OF IT!! it’s really cool and has a lot of color to it!! i even went out of my comfort zone in terms of coloring. yes, warmth is my jam y’all know this but the other more intense blue coloring was a huge step. also, don’t look so closely at them because i know of at least one flaw and that particular gif looks better on mobile (surprisingly) pero desktop is like LOOK AT IT!! LOOK AT IT!!! anyways, every note is like a blessing, and i am always overwhelmed with joy and happiness whenever i read each tag !! :)

[xbaepsae]

private tutor | part one

“You fall to your knees, hands clasped together, ‘Please, Namjoon; I’m willing to do anything.’ The last word causes him to look away from his book and down at you, taking in your rather pathetic self. A smirk stretches across his lips, ‘Anything?’”

[tutor!namjoon x reader]

genre: college!au, humor

word count: 3.8k

a/n: sooo, another reupload! originally, i only posted 2/3 parts because i never got around to finishing the final part aksjkajksd. but i’m working on that lol. in the meantime, i edited this part and part two will be up soon. enjoy! xoxo

part one / part two / part three

Well, this is awkward.

You had always considered yourself to be a rather good student. You made decently good grades in all of your classes and tried to attend them on a daily basis, but what you had not anticipated was this: a failing grade in chemistry. A big, fat red F marked the top of your grade report, and you had to do a double take to make sure you were seeing things right.

Not once in your life have you ever made anything below a C. This had to be the devil’s work, you were sure of it. Was it even possible to make an F? You put in effort into this class—it wasn’t like you weren’t trying.

“Y/n, you’re failing my class.”

Looking up at your professor, you can only manage a sheepish smile. “I can see that…”

“Care to explain?”

Biting your lip, you don’t really know what to say. Well, what could you really say? You thought that you were doing well in the class, but apparently you were assuming wrong. “I don’t really know.”

Your professor sighs, “Is it the concepts we’re learning in class? Are you not understanding them?”

“No, no,” you shake your head, “I understand the basics, but I guess when you ask us to apply everything together…I’m not really seeing the big picture.”

If you were to be honest with yourself, you absolutely hated chemistry. The basics—like the elements on the periodic table and electrons—were easy enough; but once different concepts got combined, your brain became a jumbled mess. A lot of math was involved and you hated that too. You really didn’t know why you had to take this class anyway because you for sure did not want to pursue a degree or future job in this field.

“The end of the grading period is coming up,” your professor says. “It’s going to be quite difficult to bring up that grade.”

You look at her desperately, “There has to be something. Please help me!”

There was no way you were going to have an F on your transcripts. It was only your first year of college and getting a failing grade definitely would not be a great way to start. Even though you don’t like this class, you don’t want it to ruin the rest of your college career.

“I would love to help you, but I can’t with finals coming up.” You frown at her words, feeling dejected.

“Do you have tutors?” you ask.

She nods, “Yes, but I’m sure that they’re all booked for the rest of the semester already.”

This cannot be happening right now. “Please professor; I can’t fail your class.”

It’s embarrassing how desperate you are right now. You’re practically begging the woman for something that was completely your fault. You can’t help but think back to every mistake you made on the tests and wonder why you didn’t study harder. For a second, you also contemplate the pros and cons of dropping out. It wouldn’t be that bad, right?

“Well, there might be something,” she says and suddenly all thoughts of dropping out fade away. You look at her almost too eagerly and ask what that certain something is. “I have this student who isn’t a tutor of mine, per se, but he did ace my class.”

Your optimism dims a little, “He isn’t a chem tutor?”

“No, he’s actually a philosophy major,” your professor says and you start thinking about dropping out again, “but he is very intelligent and does well in all subjects, y/n. I’m nearly positive he will offer to help you before this final.”

Great. Your only hope was someone who wasn’t even a chemistry major. “Who is he?”

Your professors smiles before telling you his name.

***

Kim Namjoon. You practice saying his name a few times out loud.

According to your chemistry professor, he is a third-year student, set to graduate a semester early or something, and a philosophy major. He had apparently made a perfect A+ in her class and was some kind of genius. However, that was the extent of the knowledge you possessed about him. In your short few months here, you have never run into anyone named Kim Namjoon—you didn’t even know what he looks like.

Your professor just told you who he was and where you might find him, which could literally be anywhere on campus. And, in all honesty, you felt kind of hopeless. Finals were less than a month away and you still don’t know how you're going to pass. As you left your professor’s office and walk back to your dorm room, you feel more confused than ever.

Where are you supposed to find Namjoon?

“How’d your meeting go?” your roommate, Ara, asks.

You shut the door behind you, “Horrible.”

“It can’t be that bad,” she smiles. “What, are you failing or something?”

When you fall onto your bed and turn to give her a look, she curses and you can’t help but agree. “I’m completely done for.”

“And it’s only the first semester—if you’re struggling now, imagine how it’ll be the next three years…”

You groan into your pillows, “Imdroppingout.”

Ara sighs, “You’re being too hard on yourself. All you need is a C to pass. You know what they say—C’s gets degrees.”

“Howaisuppdtogtac?” you ask, but Ara can’t understand a word you say so you raise your head and repeat: how am I supposed to get a C?

“Did you ask for extra credit or help?”

You sit up and lean your back against the wall. “No one fucking gives extra credit anymore; this is college, not grade school where you can bring your teacher an apple and get five points added to your test.”

“Truth,” your roommate nods, “these college professors are savage.”

“But I did ask for help,” you say. “She’s apparently too busy to help me though.”

Ara sighs and gives you a look of sympathy. “Worst case scenario will be that you have to retake chem...”

The thought of having to take that class again makes death seem much more appealing. There was no way you were about to step foot into that lecture hall again or sit in another lab. You just wanted to put chemistry behind you already. Life was way too short to be worrying so much about one damn class.

“My professor actually recommended me a tutor,” you tell your roommate and her ears perk up immediately.

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?” she looks at you like you’re an idiot, which you evidently are.

“He’s not a chem major,” you try to explain.

Ara just nods, “Okay, so like biology? Bio majors take chemistry too.”

You just shake your head, “He’s actually…a philosophy major.”

Silence engulfs the room for a moment, Ara looking at you with the wildest expression. It's like she is trying to understand the situation, and somehow make philosophy equal chemistry, but nothing is adding up. Her mouth opens and closes multiple times. You don’t blame her or her reaction because you felt the exact same way.

“Exactly,” you tell her. “That is why I’m fucked.”

“I am so sorry, y/n,” she places a hand over her heart, “should I begin preparing your funeral arrangements now?”

You throw one of the pillows on your bed at her, but Ara just catches it with laughter. “Why the hell are you laughing?”

“I think that you will be fine,” she tries to appease you. “Find this philosophy dude and try to get him to become your tutor. At this point, he seems to be your only saving grace.”

“Even if I wanted to be tutored by some smartass philosophy major,” you begin, still not entirely sure if you want to meet up with him, “I don’t know where the hell to find him.”

Your roommate says something along the lines of going to see the head of student relations, and that’s when a light bulb goes off in your head—you have a friend who works in the administration building. If anyone can help you locate this Namjoon dude, it will be that person. And as soon as this idea fills your mind, you decide that you better not waste any time and jump off the bed, rushing to the door.

“Where are you going? You don’t have another class today,” Ara questions as you grab your student ID.

“I’ll be back!” you say a little too excitedly and practically run to the other side of the campus.

By the time you get to the academic building, you’re sweating up a storm. It was the beginning of November already, which meant cooler autumn days. But today, Mother Nature paid a particularly warm visit and the bi-polar weather was something you hated. You walk up the pretty white steps and open the double doors into a space of cool air-conditioned goodness. You take a moment to bask in the contrast from outside before walking up to the secretary.

“Hi,” you greet the woman dressed in all red. “Is Min Yoongi in today?”

Even though you have become well acquainted with the boy over the last few months, you have no idea what his set schedule is. You two had one class together—a history course you both struggled to stay awake in; besides that, you never saw him around much. All you knew was that Yoongi was always busy with his multiple jobs around campus, which was weird since the last time you saw him, he was asleep in the library. He probably passed out from exhaustion.

“Yes, he is.” You breathe a sigh of relief. Thank the heavens. “He is currently right up the stairs; second door to the left.”

You thank the secretary and follow her directions until you reach the second door on the left. The door was slightly cracked open. Peeping in, you see Yoongi tapping away on a keyboard and you lightly tap three times on the wood. He types a few more times before saying to come in.

Pushing the door open, he looks over at you and nearly does a double-take. “Y/n?”

He seems surprised to see you, especially since you’ve never come by before.

You fall into an empty seat. “Hey, Yoongi.”

“Should I be…worried?” he questions, turning back to his computer.

“Depends,” you tell him.

“On what?”

“Do you know someone named Kim Namjoon?”

Yoongi stops, hovering his hands over the keyboard. You notice that his mouth presses into a thin line, eyebrows scrunching. He swivels his chair to face you and blinks twice. “Maybe.”

“Can you help me find him?” you ask.

“Why?” he crosses his arms over his chest.

You sigh, “Because my dumbass self is failing chemistry and I need help.”

“Don’t you have any friends you can ask to help?” Yoongi asks. “I mean, like me for instance.”

His comment makes you roll your eyes. The corner of his lips morph into a half-smile, and you know that he’s just teasing. You also know how busy he is; there is no way you are going to ask him for anything. Besides, Yoongi is probably just as terrible at chemistry. You have never seen him step anywhere near the science building.

You express these sentiments to him and he nods, while you ask, “Aren’t you a communications major anyway?”

“Isn’t this Namjoon guy in philosophy?”

“So you do know him, Yoongi.”

“I said maybe—I never said yes or no,” he clarifies, and you suppress your need to roll your eyes again. “But I guess I can help you find him.”

You nearly jump for joy at his words and watch as he begins to type away at his keyboard again. After a few minutes, Yoongi has pulled up an entire profile, along with a few articles, on Namjoon. All the information is cool, but you question your friend about its legality. But Yoongi merely brushes your concerns away and says it’s his job description. Whatever that means.

Your eyes scan down the profile—which is rather impressive with all of the multiple awards and perfect 4.0 GPA plastered on the screen in bold letters—and come to the conclusion that Kim Namjoon is, in fact, a genius and that you need his help. Immediately. Screw the fact that he isn’t a chemistry major. You just need anything you can get at this point. You want—no, need to pass. As you stare at his photo, showcasing an individual with dark hair and thick-framed glasses, you make it your mission to find him. Now, it's just the question of where to start looking.

“I’ve seen him a few times in the library,” Yoongi suddenly says, like he was reading your mind. “So, if I were you, I would start there.”

You thank Yoongi, crushing your friend in a hug and then bolt for the library.

***

After a few fruitless days in the library, you have nearly lost all hopes of getting a passing grade.

You have already started preparing yourself to take chemistry again in the spring, talking to your advisor about the schedule change. You really don’t want to take the devil’s class again, but an F would be detrimental to your GPA; and according to your university’s handbook, if you retook a class, the lower grade would be dropped. Also, Ara managed to convince you that suffering another semester in chemistry would be better than dying. And you had to agree with that.

It just seemed like it was impossible to find this Namjoon guy. You spent all of your spare time on a couch right by the library door. So if anyone left or came in, specifically him, you would see it. But every person who passed is not who you are looking for and you are starting to question Yoongi’s advice, or maybe Namjoon just lives in the library and is never going to come out.

You hope, hour after hour, that he will just walk through the doors, but it's already your fourth day in the library and you are sure the librarians are starting to get tired of seeing your face, with desperation written all over it, every day. Hell, you are tired of yourself. This is exhausting, and you are drained. Four days of waiting is absolute torture.

Ara has stopped by a few times today to drop off a bag of chips and an apple for you, which you're thankful for but wish she brought more. Aside from her, you’ve been alone. No one has stopped to talk to you, thank goodness, but a few people have given you the stink eye for hogging up the entire couch.

But having all this time alone in the library has given you the chance to think about your time-ticking situation. Even though you’ve accepted chemistry continuing to be a part of your life next semester, you still have a sliver of hope in running into Namjoon. You look at every person who walks in, checking for dark hair and glasses. Some do fit the description, but for some reason you know they’re not Kim Namjoon.

After god knows how long you’ve been in the library, you begin to pack your things up when you notice a tall blonde walk into the library. The blond hair is an immediate red x, so you focus back on the task at hand and begin walking to the doors. But just as you’re about to walk outside into the setting sun, you overhear the conversation between the blonde and the librarian.

“…you’ve read nearly everything in this library, Mr. Kim.”

He laughs, “Not everything.”

“Well, I know you’ve read much beyond your major.”

“I like to be well-rounded, ma’am.” She laughs.

“Did you still need that room?” You don’t hear him say anything to her. “Okay, mister Kim Namjoon, quiet room D is all yours.”

At that moment you freeze, not even sure if you heard anything correctly. Turning around, you notice the librarian hand the guy a key with a smile. He thanks her and walks off. You run up to the desk and slam your hand on the counter. “Was that Kim Namjoon?”

The librarian is startled, “Excuse me?”

“Was he Kim Namjoon or not?!” You’re hysteric. The person you’ve just spent days looking for is possibly steps away from you, and you are now nearing a nervous breakdown.

“Yes,” is all she says before you’re gone.

You run to the quiet rooms, which just so happened to be on the second floor, and straight to the door that had a bold letter D on it. The door is slightly cracked, so you exhale deeply before pushing it open. There you see the man himself, a book in hand, sitting in one of the two chairs in the room. He looks up at the sudden shift in the air, right at you. “Can I help you?”

Now that you’re closer to him, you realize how deep his voice is and how he just seems to command the space around him. Unlike that photo that you saw on his school profile, his once dark hair is now blonde with darker roots. The only way you can even tell it's the same person is the fact that Namjoon still wore glasses, albeit they are much more fashionable now.

“If you just came here to stare, I’d recommend that you leave. I’m currently in a very deep reading about Hobbes and the human condition.”

His comment snaps you out of your daze. “What? Hobbes? No—no I didn’t come here just to look at you, not that I came here at all to do that.” You sound stupid.

“Yes, Hobbes—did you know that he described the human condition to be one of war? That men are selfish and only wish to benefit themselves?” You have zero idea about what he is talking about. “If you don’t care about that…goodbye.” Namjoon looks back down at his book, ignoring your existence.

“I came here because I need you to tutor me,” you tell him, hoping he’ll at least look at you.

“Like I haven’t heard that before,” he flips a page.

You fist both your hands, “I’m failing chemistry, like really badly, and I can’t afford to have that grade on my transcripts.”

He doesn’t say anything, just flipping the pages in his damn book. You walk closer, until you’re right in front of him, but he still doesn’t give you the time of day. At this point, you feel angry and just done with everything. You’ve been waiting for this guy for the last four days and now he didn’t even care.

“Please,” you tell him. “Tutor me.”

“I don’t know you.”

You sigh, “My name is y/n.”

“Do you know who I am?”

“You’re Kim Namjoon.”

“Yes, well if you do know me…y/n…you must also know that I can’t just tutor you for free,” Namjoon says with a finger pushing the frame of his glasses up, eyes not wavering from the book in his other hand. “My time is precious.”

“You have to!” you practically beg. “I need to pass chem.”

He sighs, “I’m not even a chem major.”

“But you’re brilliant…or so they say,” you whisper the last bit to yourself, but Namjoon’s sharp ears don’t miss it.

“I am brilliant, thank you very much. But if you don’t have a form of payment, I’m afraid I will have to decline your proposal.”

You fall to your knees, hands clasped together, “Please, Namjoon; I’m willing to do anything.”

The last word causes him to look away from his book and down at you, taking in your rather pathetic self. A smirk stretches across his lips, “Anything?”

You just nod, hating yourself so much right now; but you're desperate, and desperate times called for even more desperate measures. As you look at Namjoon’s face, the careless gaze in his eyes begins to morph into something else. His eyes darken to obsidian and you can only imagine what is running through his head. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so willing to do anything for a passing grade. Unfortunately, you don’t have any more chances to take back what you said.

“You do look awfully pretty right now, on your knees and all.”

He brings a finger to your face, outlining the curve of your jaw to the swell of your lips. Heat rushes to your face and for a moment you don’t know what to say. You aren’t naïve to sex or anything of that sort, but you have never met someone so forward about it.

“Unless, you don’t want to pass chem,” he drops the finger. He must’ve noticed the shocked look on your face, but you quickly push your reasonable thoughts aside and shake your head.

“I want to.”

Namjoon smiles, revealing a dimple, “Perfect. We’ll start tomorrow.”

He gets up from the chair and grabs his book—which you now realize is an anthology of philosophical essays from some guy named Hobbes—walking to the door.

“You’re leaving?” you ask, still not registering what is actually going down.

“Meet me in front of the library tomorrow, and then we’ll go to my place.”

Shutting the door behind him, you collapse onto the floor with the release of a breath you’d been holding in. Your mind runs wild, heart beating erratically.

Holy shit.

***

“You what?”

Ara stares at you with wide eyes as you recall your encounter with Namjoon.

The moment you left quiet room D, after you somehow collected the strength back in your legs, you walked back to your dorm room to find your roommate sprawled on her bed. She expected to see you back earlier and was a bit concerned as to why you were later than usual today.

So, you spilled the beans. Everything.

Your roommate is the closest friend you have at school and you really needed to tell someone about the situation you were placed in. Ara was excited when you mentioned how you managed to meet Namjoon in the library and talked to him. Her expression began to change once you mentioned how disinterested he was until you offered a form of payment.

“I told him I’d do anything,” you repeat, lightly tapping your head against the wall.

“Why the hell did you say that?”

“I was desperate, Ara,” you say with a sigh. “Like, really desperate—you should’ve seen me.”

The both of you cringe at the image of you begging Namjoon to tutor you. You still can’t believe you became that girl. This chemistry class is really fucking you up.

“You’re an idiot, y/n,” she tells you.

“Oh my god, I know.”

It was pretty idiotic of you to offer up such a bold promise. You have never been one to be so risky and wage two very important things—your chemistry grade and yourself. Is it even worth it? You are beginning to have second thoughts and that's a terrible thing.

“When are you two meeting up?” Ara asks.

“Tomorrow.”

[rjalker]

Assuming the writing in question is somewhere you can find them all (and not like, lost somehow):

if you're still able to edit whatever they're written on (like a tumblr post or something)

Find the first post/chapter/whatever (or just "a" chapter, it doesn't have to be in order)

Open it in a way that lets you edit the text

Start at the top of the chapter and start reading normally

Whenever you find a spot where you misgendered a character, fix it to use the correct pronoun instead

Keep doing this until you've gotten to the end of the chapter/post

Publish or update it, whatever works for whatever site it's on.

If you posted it to a fanfiction site or something where you can't actively edit it, like fanfiction.net:

copy and paste all the text into a writing document

Start reading it from the top

fix wherever you messed up

update/reupload/ect the new version to replace the old.

Do this with all the posts/chapters/ect you find where this happened.

And if you don't want to go through all this effort right now, just copy and paste all the text into a document to save for later, then just delete the original versions.

You can then go through the document whenever you have the time/energy and fix whatever you can, and repost/reupload it once it's all fixed, while removing the transphobic ones from the public space and thus stopping them from hurting people.

And if all this sounds like too much effort, then you could always just delete the original, you have no obligation to edit and fix it if it's going to take too much energy to feel worth it / if it's old enough now that you don't care as much.

heck you could even see if a friend would be willing to read through it for you and highlight the areas that need fixed. Or maybe someone would just be straight up willing to fix it for you if they're able to copy and paste all the text so they can edit it properly.

I've had to go back and fix quite a few of my fics after they were posted when I learned things I wasn't aware of originally. Depending on how much I care about the specific fic, I either edit it and remove the offending parts, or if the whole thing's just trash now and not worth the effort of fixing because I don't care about that fandom anymore, I'll just delete the whole thing.

But yeah, pretty much you're just gonna have to decide whether you think it's worth fixing them, or if you're better off deleting them. If you want to fix them, then the exact solution will depend where you posted them, but my advice pretty much boils down to "read them from the beginning and fix mistakes as you go along".

You might also be able to try finding and replacing whatever pronouns you misgendered the character with, depending on how many other characters are involved that also used those pronouns.

a canonically nonbinary character will use he/him or she/her pronouns and people will refuse to accept that the character is nonbinary, acting as though using he/him makes him a man or using she/her makes her a woman

a character will canonically use they/them pronouns and people will insist that means their gender, and their pronouns, are actually up to the audience to decide

a canonically nonbinary character will use it/its pronouns and people will insist that’s insulting and instead misgender it with literally any other pronoun out of “respect”

like just own up to the fact that y’all don’t actually respect nonbinary people because we can already fucking tell lmao

[hexterah]

A long time ago in a galaxy f--

A number of years back I opened a website that I ran with my sister (and later some friends of ours joined the madness as well) -- it was a website that housed a number of things Star Wars (mostly Expanded Universe) related: a forum, a webring & an EU site directory, character-specific fansites, a fanmix collection, a costuming group -- all kinds of stuff. I had a lot of fun with it, made a number of friends over that period and still have the site.

But nothing’s on it right now.

It was echuta.net or the E chu ta! Network (because my sister and I loved when Threepio Got Told) and I really want to breathe new life into it and open it back up! It would most likely have sites/works/etc. related to ALL THINGS Star Wars but with a heavy emphasis on the Expanded Universe since those were its roots (and EU stuff is probably 90% of the stuff I myself would be contributing, hehehe)~

This is where you could come in, if you are someone who’d want in on this crazy mess! Some different things that could be contributed if you want to be a contributor/member:

↪ fansites to add to the collective/network (for example, I used to have a Jacen Solo site, a Tenel Ka site & a Delta/Omega Squad site on echuta -- some of which I’m revamping and reuploading!) --- this could also include any SW-related tumblr communities you run (like the @textsfromthepraxeum one we’re working on or one that shares/posts stuff related to a character or pairing~) ↪ edits/posts for the echuta tumblr (image edits, humor edits, fashion posts, sw reblogs -- we can figure this stuff out later!) ↪ costumes, DIY Star Wars stuff, fanart, fanfic, fanmixes, anything creative! We can make collections for all of these things on the site like there was before. :D

More info under the cut for anyone interested! ♡ 

HOW TO APPLY (that makes it sound so official lol) -- message/inbox me with the following: ↪ what you could contribute to the collective ↪ how familiar you are with the expanded universe ↪ your favorite star wars character! ↪ (also, reblogging this post if you apply would mean the world to me so it gets out there!)

WHAT YOU WOULD DO: ↪ get access to the planning blog where all the post scheduling/site idea talk and junk goes ↪ get a spot on the echuta.net member/staff/whatever it ends up being called page  ↪ make edits, write fic, draw things, make fansites -- whatever your specialty is (or dabble in something that isn’t!) -- related to Star Wars and then sharing it with the class!

Feel free to message or IM me if you have any questions!

[angstmaster69]

Hey blue! I saw that you deleted your youtube AU and i was just wondering why? I hate to sound all mother-y and patronising, but are you okay? Or did you just not want to write it any more? I hope i'm not stepping out of place to saying this but I really liked the story and where it was heading so I'm sad to see that it's gone and won't be updated :( but I hope you're okay! :)

Hey I just sent the ask a second ago, about hoping you're okay and about youtuber AU being deleted, and I just wanted to know if maybe you could tell us what was supposed to happen in the plot? I know I'm not the only curious one lol, and I was just wondering :) I hope you have a good day!

i actually JUST answered why i deleted/stopped writing yt au in another ask! as for the other points, i’ll answer under the cut because this is probably going to get pretty long!

first of all, please don’t worry about me, i’m fine! i’m just going through pretty nasty writer’s block right now, but i’ll be okay! i’m trying to just write through it, even if everything turns out super shitty, but yeah. it’ll pass. and if it doesn’t, then i’ll still continue to write, it just won’t be at my usual standard of writing, so i’m sorry for that.

secondly, i’m honestly really sorry that you were enjoying the fic and i just.. took that away from you, kind of unfairly. i just wanted to be rid of it, honestly. i’ve deleted a lot of docs from my computer regarding it too, so now it’s just, like, gone, thank god. but, yeah. hopefully i can just tell you the plot now and get it over and done with, and maybe that’ll help with closure i guess?? i know it’s really not a big deal that i deleted it, but it kind of is to me. i feel like i failed in some way. anyway.

i feel like before we get into the plot some details should be revised? it was always going to be endgame taekook. that much is for sure. they’re fwb. obviously there’s the queerplatonic vmin (which i REALLY wanted to explore the dynamics of because romantic friendships are Lit™ and i lovelovelove vmin with all my heart) and i mean, jeon and jimin are like, at odds with each other for Reasons, and yeah, taehyung is one of them, but also they just kind of clash in an ugly way and it’s tense and taehyung is like, the only reason they haven’t fought properly. i mean, they were gonna have a fight in the fic in the first draft, but then i edited it out and made them sit down and talk Like Adults and work through their issues, because i’m kind like that. there’s namjin being all gross and couple-y and in love in the bg, and then there’s weird yoonseokmin vibes, and it was kind of A Mess, and taehyung Does Not Do Relationships And Fucks Around A Lot Instead and he’s like, in denial about a lot of things. they’re all youtubers. yoongi is ace, taehyung has a very weird complex with his ability to form romantically involved relationships due to both family and personal past experiences. jeongguk is in love with taehyung but it’s beginning to take its toll on him. and NOW we can start.

so like, in the chapters that i posted, taehyung has a livestream for his 10 million subscriber party. he and jeongguk end up kind of getting caught making out but also kind of don’t, then they sleep together and spend the day together and just pray it blows over. there was a bottom taehyung riding scene, then jimin and taehyung flew out to seoul from la. jimin gets mad at taehyung because he sees him bitching out at jeongguk over text and he brings up ‘taekook’ (i’m SHAMELESS) with the fan they talk to on the plane, and it pisses him off, one, because he kind of despises jeongguk, and two, because taehyung is being kinda rude and jimin’s tired and it’s not his fault he likes filming everything. so yeah, they’re in seoul and taehyung meets up with some friends, one of whom is jeongguk’s Big Ex that taehyung didn’t know about, and it freaks him out when he finds out because he gets jealous and this is where things start Going Bad. 

basically, he gets home and kind of breaks up with jimin, then medicates with drugs and sex and alcohol, then jeongguk and jimin have their aforementioned talk and help each other to help taehyung. jimin sorts his yoongi-and-hoseok thing out, and makes up with taehyung. jeongguk kind of moves in with taehyung, just to check he’s doing okay, and taehyung starts doing better. he makes videos again, even though it’s not the same, and he travels more often to see friends and family and the world, and sometimes jeongguk joins him. they have a lot of sex, sure, but they also talk to each other seriously a lot more, and taehyung tries to communicate properly. he lets himself fall in love with jeongguk, and they’re like kind of official without actually explicitly saying they are, then they’re caught kissing in public and all hell breaks loose. taehyung fucks up and says a lot of hurtful things to cover his ass, and jeongguk is just Done with waiting for taehyung to admit his feelings. so - and this is like, the Big Moment that the au builds up to - taehyung makes a video. he starts off slow and small, just talks about his life and where he’s at and the affect youtube has on it. then he starts spilling all kinds of things his viewers have been questioning for years - things about him and jimin, things about him and other youtubers he’s been rumoured to date. things about him and jeongguk. and at first jeongguk doesn’t watch it, but namjoon convinces him to, and so he sits down in front of his computer and watches the video. it’s forty minutes long. 

taehyung. spills. everything. a full exposé of himself. he talks about about his sexuality, and his internal struggle with his aromanticism and difficulty bonding. he talks about everything, from the moment he and jimin decided to enter a queerplatonic relationship, to the moment he realised he’d fallen in love with jeongguk. he talks about how he’s been sleeping with both of them this whole time, and other people, too. how he faked being friends with some other youtubers, just because that’s what everybody did. how much he genuinely loves his real friends. how jealous he felt when he met jeongguk’s ex. how guilty he felt when he broke it off with jimin. other things, too, and jeongguk has to pause it halfway through because he’s sat there, cold, in the dark, balled up on his massive desk chair, crying. there’s no way taehyung can go back from this. his viewers will love it and eat everything up, and of course, taehyung could totally monopolise on the attention and popularity, but jeongguk hears the ‘goodbye’ and the channel deactivation before he gets to the announcement of it at the end of the video. because yes, okay, taehyung could come back from this, but there is no way that taehyung would ever want to.

so taehyung leaves youtube. the others still carry on, and they’re all still successful, of course, especially jimin. he sort of takes over taehyung’s space online, even though he had no intentions to. jeongguk and taehyung talk things over. they agree it’s not time for them just yet, but they’ll wait for each other. so taehyung uses his name to get a job as a cinematographer for an up-and-coming indie studio in hollywood, and he lives comfortably and modestly with his friends by his side. he doesn’t just completely disappear online, and he still pops up in his friends’ vlogs and videos sometimes, but he’s nowhere near as active or as influential as he was before, and he loves it. it brings him peace, and space to think and feel and be, and soon enough, he’s ready to welcome jeongguk and his love into his life.

he’s happy. they’re all happy. 

i’m almost hesitant to post this, because it’s still fluid and ever-changing in my head, so please note that this is the plot as it stands, and that parts of this will probably be improved or changed in my head over time, but that i’ll probably never discuss this again unless prompted to. on that note, if anybody has any questions about this au, please feel free to ask me! as long as it’s not about if or when i’m going to reupload or update or whatever.

again, i’m fine, thank you for thinking about me, and i’m super sorry for deleting so abruptly but please try to understand where i’m coming from with this when i say that i just couldn’t do it anymore. i’m sorry, and i hope you have a good day too! thanks for checking in :)

[enchaffin]

Hello, Alligators!

I’m so glad you’re here today.

  Since you are reading this post, I suppose you have an interest in how I came up with the story of my debut novel Loading Life. And I suppose (with my fangirl side locked tightly away) that I’ll tell you.

If you don’t know what Loading Life is about, let me tell you:

Hero Leander, the official troublemaker of Devi Omega Academy, is one mess up away from being permanently kicked out of school – or worse. To save him, his teacher and guardian, Mr. Kirkland, pairs him up with Annie Mei Fields, a straight-A student and the top Charisma-user of the school, on a history project. Hero is determined to leave her hanging, but Annie Mei will have none of that.

As she forces him to hit the books, they soon discover that an evil corporation is kidnapping teens in order to cure a deadly disease. Annie Mei thinks they should fight back. Hero doesn’t want to get involved. . . That is until his only friend is also taken.

Hero and Annie Mei put their lives on the line in order to save their world. But with gang attacks, drug deals, twisted corporate goons, and a teacher that won’t get off their case, these two unlikely fighters have little time to think about their next step. They have to save the world, and hopefully get a passing grade.

  And as I was writing this adventurous sci-fi/fantasy, I was drawing on the love I have for anime and superhero stories.

But where did I even get the idea?

It all started with a random thought I had one day. You see, many people have told me that I’m very nice and that’s why others are attracted to me – why they want to hang out with me. This was on my mind when I thought ‘hey. What if that was my superpower? Likeability, or niceness, or charm, or . . . charisma?’ It was from that point that I knew I wanted to make a story about a girl with charisma.

When I had downtime, or was just letting myself think of nothing in particular, ideas starting popping up about this girl. What if she was a sweetheart villain? Or maybe a superhero who would save the day? I kept thinking and thinking and thinking. I wrote down all these ideas in a notebook one of my friends had gotten for me for my birthday. And within a matter of time, I had a huge bulk of the world made out.

It was also during this time that I came to the realization that I wanted to write books for a living. I was actually working on another novel, when I came to a giant wall. This particular novel would take me a great deal of time to fully develop. The world was so vast! And I didn’t really want to wait. That’s when I picked up my little notebook of ideas and started designing a world that was closer to my own.

  Devi Omega was born. It was in this vast city that I wanted a computer/virtual reality-like world to unfold. I wanted my characters to be like those in video games. It truly reminded me of Sword Art Online at first. (And, if you don’t like that anime, please read the manga. It goes further into depth about the characters and the world. Just saying.) But I wanted something more than that.

I asked myself: ‘What if the citizens of Devi Omega were born and lived their lives in a video game? What if their world was a video game and had nothing to do with the outside – with the ‘real world’ that I grew up in?’

That’s when the characters started having health bars and attack bars. That’s when they all started getting powers that I call special abilities. And everyone in Devi Omega has a unique special ability . . .

Everyone except Hero Leander.

You see, I wanted my book to feel like an anime in words. I wanted a main character who people didn’t like- except the sarcastic best friend, of course. I wanted a main character that could hold his own, but still be able to grow into someone even better. And I wanted to use the base of the main character that I had developed for the novel I had put to the side. So I used that base and created a wannabe-thug with terrible grades and an even worse mouth, who no one could understand. And I gave him a heartbreaking name that would play into his overarching story. Hero Leander was born.

But I knew I needed someone else to play opposite him. His best friend, Reut (said like root) was a good pick, but not the best. I also needed to keep that Charisma girl in the story somehow. I had created this whole world for her, and I didn’t want to throw that away. And that’s when I started to develop her more. Since Hero was a thug-like character, I wanted her to be sweet and intelligent. I also wanted her to be physically capable of kicking butt, even if she didn’t have the so-called body for it. (I didn’t want her to be super buff just to take on some badies.) I wanted her to be feminine, to combat Hero’s masculine nature. And she absolutely had to be liked by (almost) everyone, since that’s what hero powers were about. But I knew I needed more than that. She had to have depth. She had to be someone who loved learning and reaching her goal of being the best she could, but also yearned to be out of the spotlight and just be her. Even if it was for a little while. That’s when I created Annie Mei Fields. And she was perfect.

When I got my two main characters established, I added even more. I needed a guardian for Hero and parents for Annie Mei. I needed bullies and bad guys and surprises. I also needed a few characters that my readers would know nothing about. At least not at first.

  And when I had my cast and my world, I started writing. I wrote the first draft for only a few chapters until I realized that my story was going nowhere exciting. I had to stop, make an outline, and get back to writing. I tweaked the outline through drafts two, three, and four. When I finished with draft four, I tracked down a beta reader – and sadly, I only had one – who read my book and gave me the feedback I needed to improve my story. I rewrote it again and thought that was it. I published it with a beautiful cover created by one of my best friends, MadCatStudios. And I loved it. But . . .

After a few months, I realized I had so many spelling and grammatical errors in the book! (And this is why you hire an editor!) I also saw that many people didn’t find my cover appealing. I became a little depressed about the whole thing and didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t be a writer . . .

And then life slapped me in the face.

My overnight job I was working was getting worse. Between working nocturnally, missing out on seeing friends and family, and just being tired ALL THE TIME, I wanted out so bad. I needed this book to succeed. So I went back to the drawing board.

I asked my friend if I could get a new cover. I didn’t want to hurt him by not using the picture he worked so hard on. But he understood and told me I should do what I needed to do. And I needed to make my book appeal to the masses of anime nerds.

(And let me just take a second to say that MadCatStudios is an amazing artist! His work is great and I love it. I didn’t just ask him to do the first cover because it was free. I asked him because he has talent. So go check his stuff out on DeviantArt!)

  Anyways. . .

I hunted down a great editor and artist on Fiverr.com. After sending my manuscript to the editor and my ideas for the cover to the artist, I waited as patiently as I could. My editor was amazing and he sent my work back in a timely manner! I worked hard for a week incorporating all of his edits. (Visit him here!)

Yet another problem arose.

The artist I commissioned didn’t fulfill his promise. Between a few missed deadlines and ignoring many of my requests, I finally asked him if he’d like to break it off. And he did without fuss. I honestly think he had many projects underway and he couldn’t fulfill his promises to me. It was sad, but I didn’t dwell on it too much.

I had to find an artist!

I searched one of my folders on Fiverr that I had saved some artists in. I found one that was perfect and sent her an email. After a few back-and-forth messages, I commissioned her for a piece. And I definitely got what I asked for:

  (If you love the art, please visit the artist here!)

I took the time to create a cover that would match my story. And after I reuploaded my cover and fully-edited story onto Createspace, I laid down and breathed a sigh of relief.

My book was done. Completely this time.

And now I’m here, telling you all of this. And I hope you learned something from my story. Between never giving up and always hiring an editor, anyone can become an author. With buckets of sweat and tears that is.

  Thank you,

E.N. Chaffin

If you’re interested in reading Loading Life, please check out the first three chapters here! Or if you’d like to buy it, the eBook and paperback versions are sold on Amazon.com and other retailers listed below.

Amazon – https://tinyurl.com/LLebook

Nook – http://tinyurl.com/nookLLbook

iTunes – http://tinyurl.com/itunesLLbook

Kobo – https://tinyurl.com/ycx7byjt

Inktera – http://tinyurl.com/inkteraLLbook

Smashwords – https://tinyurl.com/LLsmash

24 Symbols – http://tinyurl.com/24LLbook

The Story behind Loading Life: How I created my debut novel. #writerslife #amwriting #anime #manga #videogame #fantasy #scifi Hello, Alligators! I’m so glad you’re here today. Since you are reading this post, I suppose you have an interest in how I came up with the story of my debut novel…