#I had to be the world's biggest pain in the ass and also Kind of Sneaky but

[cookinguptales]

also, the triumvirate is now complete

[rootspiral]

Agatha All Along deep dive: episode 2 part 3

(Wandavision entries: [1][2][3])

(AAA entries: ep1 [1][2][3][4] ep2 [1][2][3][4] ep3 [1][2][3] ep4 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7][+1] ep5 [1][2][3][4][5] ep6 [1][2][3] ep7 [1][2][3][4][5][6] ep8 [1][2][3][4][5][6][7])

agatha going UGH!!!!! when she sees jen's name. are you a toddler?? are you four????

"bougie probiotique" lmao

AGATHA

she's here she's queer she's gonna put an egg up her vajeer

sasheer zamata the glorious gay goddess that you are

"jen the potions guy" sounds amazing. I'd use that on my business cards

aaand once again I'm billy

I love that these two have clearly known and hated each other for centuries - sometimes you just see an enemy and immediately go, oh it's you motherfucker. and I think that's beautiful. (dear lord that store is so pink)

and once again: hilarious dialogue, heavy and dark undertones. jen has very, very legitimate reasons to hate and mistrust agatha, even more than she realizes. she will never open up to agatha like the others, and that's both fair and sexy of her. tbh she was too kind all things considered, that bitch deserved her ass kicked from here to the afterlife

case in point, agatha knows jen well enough to manipulate her into joining them. and jen knows agatha well enough to say what will hurt her. she picked the worst thing she could come up with

billy and the audience don't notice that agatha has just been stabbed in the heart

partners in crime, once again! agatha is so proud of her boy's lil manipulative side. and yep, billy is not as naive as he tries to appear. he's still a bit clueless, but he tries.

love how they're so deliberate in depicting the witches as a legit community with its own culture and history.

watch this scene again. now think about the rage and soul and desperation jen pours into winning her powers back from agatha. look at the way these two are being both so casual and so callous about jen's deep, bleeding trauma. not so funny a scene anymore, is it?

agatha shoving a fistful of paper in her mouth so she doesn't have to say rio's name also goes to the top five funniest list. she'll never beat the toddler allegations

and now she's gobbling a corn dog! see what I have to deal with here?? how can I keep it classy?

what's really iconic is bringing your gay son to hot topic

alice always looks a little hunched down, as if she had, idk, a giant disgusting harpy sitting on her shoulders. the more I think about it the sadder it gets

oooh, those are dorothy pigtails. i get it now.

you know, I said yesterday that agatha successfully cons jen and alice, but that's not true. she couldn't have swayed jen without billy's help, and she had alice completely wrong. she thought alice was looking for her mom, but Lorna didn't die on the Road and alice always knew it was a con - she's actually the world's biggest Road expert after agatha herself. seems like Agatha is pretty desperate and out of her depth without her mind reading powers. (wait, do we think billy is the one doing the mind reading, is that why he got to jen so easily?)

seeing her being so cruel with people's deep seated traumas is really upsetting me. especially considering how she guards her own trauma. feeling guilty afterwards is no justification, she knows exactly what she's doing.

these two need their own show. oh wait, they already have it.

but agatha saying "we don't need her" and then pushing people around in the mall - she is upset about what she just did to alice. and she's almost relieved she said no, that she gets to spare her. sweet, sad alice, so spiky on the outside, soft as a marshmallow on the inside. she did not deserve any of this. her death is entirely on agatha.

sighing and looking wistfully out of the window, she's in pain but determined to go on

meanwhile detective agnes is working hard to figure billy out, you can practically see the gears turning inside her head. I think at this point she already kind of knew, tbh. "I have a theory, but I need more."

aw

see you next for the ending of episode 2. and this time I'm giving a shoutout to @one-step-at-a-time25, who was having a lot of fun in the tags!

go to episode 2 part 4

[alwaysonf1]

leak?

Pairing: Charles LeClerc x Hamilton!OC

Genre: Slice of Life; Fluff

Word Count: 740

Warning: N/A

Rating: PG-13

Author's Note: Dates and times don't matter.

“Calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down. Do you see what’s trending right now?”

There’s a sigh over the phone and Iman feels bad, but not enough that her anxiety is subsiding or that she can apologize in the moment.

“Mon ange, it’s not even a good picture of us. Plus, would it be so bad?”

Yes, is on the tip of her tongue, but it wasn’t the truth. Iman had just hoped there would be more time before the world knew. She’s adept at handling the media frenzy because of how it was when the world found out she existed. But this was something so fresh and new. She didn’t want to have to share it with anyone.

“No, I just…” 

There are no words that come to mind. Logic is returning to her brain and she knows she’s being dramatic. Next to K-Pop stans, Formula 1 fans are creepy good at detective work. And one is always going to be around no matter where they are.

Also, she wasn’t completely bothered. There was a part of her that took joy in speculating that they were together. That he was her’s. It just isn’t strong enough to make the biggest impact in her head.

Iman sighs.

“Let them speculate. We don’t have to confirm anything.”

Another sigh.

She knows that he’s right, but she’d deluded herself into thinking that things could be chill. For at least a month. Or a week. But she’d found herself attached to Charles’ hip no matter how in public they were. There was some hope that if anything were to leak it would be her getting her ass handed to her in volleyball by Logan. It was ego bruising because she’s the one who played it through high school, but it was better than this.

“I know.”

“Then why all of this? You knew it would come eventually.”

“Not this quickly,” she mumbles.

There is a sound on the other end that sounds like a scoff. Iman has picked up when Charles is calling her out on her bullshit.

“I mean I could post that video of you falling on your face on the beach. That would get everyone’s attention,” Logan chimes in.

Iman’s eyes narrow as she turns to look at him leaning against her door frame snacking on popcorn. Lewis stands behind him with the bowl of popcorn that he’s been eating from.

Both idiots think her reaction is funny and have been watching her as she fights not to go into a spiral. Lewis has made comments about how she wasn’t even this bad when things got intense with the media after their episode. 

The urge to cuss them out presents itself, but Iman simply raises her hand with only one finger extended. Both of them react in faux shock and offense before falling into a giggling fit.

What she’d done to have this life she wasn’t sure, but goodness did it sometimes test her. 

“Mon ange…”

“Huh?”

Charles laughs. “I asked what you wanted to do. I want what makes you happy.”

For a second, she sits with her lips pursed as she thinks about it. They could get it out of the way, but it is much too soon to be making those kinds of announcements. Even if they’re both sure about this, it feels much too fast. Though Iman has to be honest in admitting that sometimes things move at a different pace when you’ve had years of friendship. And there are a few recent thoughts she’s had that are much faster than admitting to dating Charles Leclerc.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“For now, at least. If they catch something else and it goes crazy, we’ll just admit it. Or after like a month.”

“Okay, but mon ange, I’m not going to change my mind about you.”

Breathing becomes hard and Iman is barely able to tell him bye as they hang up the phone. Her phone drops from her hand and she falls back to fully lay on her bed. Butterflies are how she’d describe what she feels.

Laughter starts. At a speed that could give whiplash she turns her head and glares at the two pains in her ass.

“Get out!”

A pillow sails through the air and hits Lewis square in the face. Logan is gone before the other one can leave her hand and Lewis isn’t far behind him.

“Lord help me,” she says, sighing.

liked by lewishamilton, alex_albon, and 45,628 others

logansargeant 2x national champ my ass.

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[ecto42]

I think in D&D terms the typical assumption would be that a character with a chronic illness and/or chronic pain would have a low constitution score. The reality is a lot of people like myself would probably have constitution as our biggest stat because not only are we constantly staying up while fighting our bodies, we’re generally expected to ignore our own physical needs and wellbeing in exchange for being able to get things done. For example, I have been fully in the middle of a POTS episode and had to cook myself dinner, carry multiple loads of laundry up and down the stairs, etc. Like there’s such a real thing to Ashton Greymoore having chronic pain and yet their highest stat being Constitution.

I think something people are really good at acknowledging for Ashton as well as being apparent with Taliesin is that chronic illness generally means you’re stronger than people would assume, but you also blow through your resources faster and they can be just as counterproductive as they are helpful. It’s important to note that Taliesin struggles with chronic issues like hand tremors and has other chronically disabled friends like Dani Carr.

Like personally as an AMAB person with a condition that primarily hits AFAB people particularly hard, I’ve had cardiologists tell me “If anything your heart is overly muscular.” Which like, thanks dude yeah that’s decades of anxiety and years of POTS hitting and me having to stay standing up. Like I was in marching band in high school and I was the kid basically double-time marching in giant steps every show because I was the easiest to place since I’m so tall. Then when I worked fast food I had to either maneuver through hoardes of people to get back to my station or just push through them completely. In 90+ degree weather in the summer in Alabama with an anxiety disorder and a “heart condition” that’s actually just another neurological condition. Like I spent years doing manual labor and unloading trucks and pallets while exhausted on like 3 hours of sleep. You have to develop that kind of resilience when the capitalist system reinforces a world where no matter what if you want to survive as a person straddling the poverty line you have to work your ass off.

This doesn’t even get into the kind of resiliency you have to develop as an undiagnosed neurodivergent person who’s being told by absolutely everyone for most of your life that you’re doing everything wrong. Like Adaine from Dimension 20 is such a good example of that. This is also why I love the portrayal of Ayda Aguefort so much, because she really is like me having to learn everything from books because no one else in her life can explain things the same way that a book can. That is one of those things that as a late diagnosed autistic & ADHDer it’s really hard to explain personally without getting really like tragic or depressing in conversation because it sometimes is just a matter of “I’ve effectively been abused my entire life purely because the system wasn’t built for me and I had a lot of expectations I failed to live up to.”

All of this as a way to say that neurodiversity and disability are much more interesting and heroic feeling when they are portrayed by actually neurodiverse and disabled people, as well as those who love those people enough to tell stories that include them. I think TRRPGs and RPGs in general are a great way to explore this. Often times when we see disabled people in shows or movies that revolve around their disability there is a lack of agency, whereas often times with TTRPGs you have to create your own agency in the first place.

[yarnzipangirl]

Names, Identity, and Power

(Malevolent rambling ahead!)

This is 100% probably going to be less grand than the essay I've got going in my head but here's central thesis: names and identities are a huge part of the power that characters have in this story.

By which I mean: when a character is the self that they choose to be, and lean into the name/identity they chose themselves, they are stronger. When they try to be what is expected, what others put on them, that's when they get in trouble. It's all about their individual purpose, the meaning they CHOOSE to their life.

John

Your biggest example of this is, of course, John. When John is being John, that's when he's able to accomplish things. He saved Arthur's life by dragging him to the road with one arm. He chose to stay with Arthur and the King Could Not Force Him during the ritual. He pulled Arthur through everything in Addison by being the person he WANTS to be. And when push came to shove during ep 40, not only did he discover a new ability, but he was able to beat an opponent that had been sapping his strength and who had (technically) kicked the shit out of him before when, by all logic, he should be weaker (since he was in Arthur).

But in all those cases, he was defending someone he cared about. He was standing up and protecting something that mattered to him. He was standing against the King in Yellow, denying that identity and holding fast to his own. He was defiant that He Is Not That, that he is JOHN. He was choosing to be John, choosing Arthur, choosing hope.

We have two situations that went the opposite way to this: fighting the King in Yellow in the Dreamlands: got his ASS BEAT by the KiY and tossed into the Dark World. Because he was thinking of himself as just a piece/half/whatever of the King in Yellow to be assimilated. He gave up being John as part of that situation! And in the witch's cave: he doesn't call himself an entity known as John Doe. He is the King in Yellow and you have to respect him and WHOOPSYDOODLE did that all fall completely flat. He wasn't able to do shit with all his bluster and shouting and projecting. Total wet fart. How did he win that day?

By being John. By being crafty. By keeping his head and leaning on an ally (Yorick), by not relying on pure power OR his identity as the King in Yellow. No power, back to the wall, pure headology, good enough to make Arthur proud. He was John Doe: patient and clever and finding a solution.

Because he is not the King in Yellow. The narrative has definitively told us this TWICE: he cannot be the King in Yellow anymore. So every time he tries to go back to that well, it's dry. It fails. It's when he leans into being this new entity, John Doe, (a 'great old one named John', so to speak) that he can pull things off.

(Which is also, I think, why Kayne makes pains despite technically respecting his new status as John to remind him over and over of how he's really the King in Yellow /cough this is my red string board MOVING ON)

Yellow

Obviously you talk about John, you got to talk about Yellow. And Yellow went the opposite direction: pretender to the throne, wants to be the King in Yellow so bad he can taste it.

He isn't either. But he's leaning into what that identity is, trying to be it, so much more than John. And thus, he's a lot more effective with those kind of tactics than John; it's all part and parcel, identity and means to use that identity.

But ultimately, Yellow is a pretender. Ultimately, Yellow doesn't want dominion, he wants love. I would say it's even odds between whether he knows that's what he wants but he's denying it because it isn't a part of the KiY or whether he thinks dominion will get him all the love he's craving, prove him to be the 'better' half, and doesn't know that it can't. But Yellow has no central identity of his own, didn't get a chance to build one, and thus he's trying to live up to Larson's expectations (and to a lesser degree, Kayne's, to be a second John) and he ends up failing at both.

...which is a tragedy. #justiceforyellow

He cannot be John because he wasn't formed into John through his experiences with Arthur and he cannot be the KiY because he isn't, any more than John is. Which is why despite the fact that this half of the KiY kicked John's ass back in ep20... John kicked his ass during ep40.

John knows who he is. Yellow doesn't.

Kayne and Yorick

These two are two sides of a coin (badum ching) because they're both schemers and I think they both KNOW this better than John does, who's just kinda muddling along trying to figure it out.

Kayne is not Nyarla. He has taken pains to not be that. Killed others to not be that. He has, I think, liberated himself from the restrictions and possibly the obligations of being Nyarla by being Kayne. He saw someone break the rules with Shub and said 'sign me the hell up'. It's why he got so angry at Larson: because names and identities have power and trying to make him 'just' Nyarla again is literally a detriment to him. Cannot be tolerated. Nope.

And Yorick found a different way to do it: he didn't give himself a new name or forge a new name for himself, he used his Master to give him a new name, changing the rules, changing the game. John said, back in ep.10 when the vanguard first was discussed:

"A vanguard would only watch - could only watch, and is never with a foot in this world, and all to serve whichever monstrous entity they were bound to."

Except we've seen him take a body and do things with it. We've seen him demand deals from his 'master'. I even wonder if it has unbound him, potentially, or if that's part of HIS identity now: he is John and Arthur's Yorick and not just the King in Yellow's vanguard. Unsure but it sure seems like being Yorick is important to him! (stay tuned for my eventual 'Yorick is not the traitor you think he is' ramble).

Arthur

And you can't talk about this whole thing without talking about Arthur. And Arthur's struggle is a lot more of how he thinks of who Arthur Lester is, what Arthur Lester is.

Arthur Lester is a detective. He's someone who finds things out, who tries to answer questions, who LEARNS and DISCOVERS etc. He's SMART and he relies on his knowledge and his thinking and he PROTECTS people. He also does best WITH OTHERS. He is UNCOMPROMISING and STUBBORN and he doesn't bend. He's strong, accomplishes great things, when he does that. When he thinks like that.

He wouldn't have been a good husband because he didn't want that, but he was a good father because he did! He's a great detective and he was a good composer/makes beautiful music because he's passionate about it but he could never be what Daniel wanted to make him.

And when he and John are on different pages, when he wallows in his rage and anger and makes it about punishing himself... that's when things go wrong for him. I am constantly amazed at how quickly and easily Kayne gets Arthur distracted and doesn't let this man think critically about what he's doing/saying/acting and how easily it puts Arthur in a vulnerable position. He's pointedly OFFENSIVE, goes for the attack, proactive... and Kayne puts him on his back foot in every way.

And I think that's a big part of what this Black Stone and possibly the Grey Stone thing were about. Because Arthur, like John, is his experiences. It's what he's survived. It's his five tragic backstories in a trenchcoat. And Kayne's offer to change fate is, I think, both a way to keep Arthur not thinking about what they're doing... and a way of trying to lead him towards making himself less... himself. Faroe is a part of him. Faroe, we know, is the light inside of him. He wouldn't be as far as he's gotten without her spark. And getting her back through a deal with a Devil?

Not Arthur Lester.

Whatever he is that fascinates Kayne (or possibly scares him, or possibly can't be manipulated directly by him), I get the feeling Kayne wants to hand it to him to eliminate the problem.

CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT HERE'S YOUR AWKWARD ESSAY END BYEEEEE

[dreamylittlesugarcube]

The Agency (Part 1)

Genre: EXO AU

Characters: Baekhyun x Female Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count:  1400

Summary: Running a top-rated dating agency was difficult enough….. But running a top-rated dating agency for paranormal beings was almost impossible. When a rival approaches you with a life-changing, yet dangerous offer, will you stay safely on the sidelines or jump directly into the fray?

A/N: A very happy holiday to my EXOL Secret Santa, @vampwrrr! I’ve enjoyed our correspondence over the last few months and I’m so glad to have made a new friend here! I was very inspired by our conversations and plan to make this into a short series, so I hope you enjoy Part 1 dedicated to you!

*Also, not my photo. From Baek’s IG.

~*~

“Alright Mr. Weylan, can you tell me a little bit about what type of person you are looking for?”

As he spoke, you surveyed the highly-coiffed man in front of you, noting the sky blue cashmere Brioni suit and the distinct scent of cologne that smelt like it cost $500 a bottle. 

Despite the urge to roll your eyes as the being in front of you listed his requirements–predictable to say the least–you schooled your features. Flashing him your charming ‘service’ smile you gamely assured him you had just what he was looking for. 

After seeing your client off, you sat alone in your office, going through the motions of getting his matches set up. Your mind wandered, something that had been happening quite a lot lately. 

Sigh. 

When did this job get so…so…boring? Your former youthful enthusiasm of years past had been replaced with ennui at best and apathy at worst. 

Was it your clients? Or was it you? 

Lately, your clients seemed so predictable.  Where was the uniqueness? The fire? 

Before a client walked through your door, you were able to guess their type with upwards of 90% accuracy. You broke it down was follows:

Vampires: Delicate, sexy (but virginal), tall. Luminous skin, with a preference for bite play. 

Goblins: Short (because they’re short kings), mischievous, intelligent, and into forging. 

Frankensteins: Compassionate, loving, and kind. Literally couldn't care less about appearance. Good at sewing. 

Incubi/Succubi: Good sex. Period. 

And lastly, werewolves–

Werewolves: Voluptuous, sensual, and sturdy. Typically not as picky about appearance and– 

“Boss, your 8:00 is here,” chirped the phone on your desk.

Strange. Mr. Weylan should have been your last client for the night.

“Elsie?”

“Yes, Boss?”

“We talked about this already, I have a date at–”

“Yes, I know, Boss. But trust me, you’ll want to see this one.”

“For your sake, I’d better. Fine, fine, send them in.”

You’d always known that helping immortals, many of whom didn’t sleep, find romantic fulfillment was going to be a 24-hour job, you just never anticipated tiring of it all. 

Open 24/7 just like a fucking minimart. 

No life. No lover. Forever fucking alone. God, the cliche of it all. 

Turning to look in the mirror behind your desk, you fixed your hair, wistfully thinking it unfortunate that your date-night outfit had gone to waste. 

Suddenly, the hairs on the back of your neck tingled, giving you the distinct impression that you were no longer alone. 

A familiar pair of eyes met yours in the mirror, belonging to the last possible person you’d expected to see. 

Your surprise must have shown on your face, as a sly, knowing grin spread across the asshole–your visitor’s–face. 

“Ah, Mr. Byun, to what do I owe this distinct pleasure? I thought we had concluded our business relationship, per your request.”

Seated on your plush couch was Byun Baekhyun. A man who had made his fortune in tech, owning one of the biggest cybersecurity firms in the world. He was a big deal, everything he touched–businesses, inventions, people– turned to gold. There were rumors that he had ties to the underground, but this was just a rumor. 

 He was a big deal alright and a big pain in your ass. 

“Aww, don’t be salty, Boss. A misunderstanding is all that was,” Baekhyun cajoled, patting the seat next to him on the couch–your couch–as if he owned the place. 

You crossed your arms, taking a seat across from Mr. Byun. “I wouldn’t call you referring to my company as, “the worst t” on national television ‘a misunderstanding’, would you, Mr. Byun?”

Mr. Byun uncrossed his legs, learning forward. “Alright, let’s call it an unfortunate occurrence then. And please, call me Baekhyun.”

“Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Byun”, you said pointedly, refusing to take the bait.

“Why, yes. In fact, I believe you can. You see, I have a proposition for you.”

A proposition. A proposition?! What kind of proposition could this Grinch possibly have for you? 

It must be business-related. Of course, it had to be. You weren’t naive enough to assume your charming good looks and effervescent personality had been enough to totally reverse this person’s worldview. 

Was he in the market for a lover? You highly doubted that. A quick scan revealed a suit worth a minimum of $30,000, a watch worth double that, and loafers worth more than your monthly car payment. Not to mention, the swarm of media coverage that followed him from place to place showed he never had any trouble finding quality partners. 

You decided to play it cool. “Proceed. I’m listening.”

“I like a woman who’s decisive,” he remarked appreciatively, eyes flickering from your head to your feet. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to hide your annoyance. “Mr. Byun, I have many things–important things–that I could be doing right now.”

“Oh no, so sorry, did I interrupt your plans for a hot date?”

Your stony look accompanied by silence confirmed his theory. 

“Ah, so I did. Oops, my apologies,” he said smugly, not sounding the least bit remorseful. 

“Make your point, Mr. Byun, or please leave. Don’t waste my time.”

Mr. Byun put his hand over his heart, moaning and theatrically clutching his heart. “You wound me, Boss. Has anyone ever told you you’re a bit too serious?” 

“Many times. Has anyone ever told you you’re annoying?”

That stupid, smug smile reappeared on his face. “Annoyance isn’t the usual reaction that I get from women, no.”

“This should be character-building then.”

“Indeed.” Mr. Byun chuckled.

Mr. Byun’s face turned serious and you hoped he’d finally get to the point of his visit here. 

“As you know, I own a company–”

“Byun Solutions. I’m aware.”

“Yes, Byun Solutions is my public-facing company; however, I own another….side hustle, you might call it.”

“A side hustle?” 

You couldn’t imagine why a man like him, a filthy-rich man like him would need a side hustle. You stared at him skeptically, a bid for him to continue. 

“We’re a guild, of sorts, taking on requests and executing them per our clients’ wishes–”

“ –which I’m guessing aren’t all legal,” you guessed.

Mr. Byun’s eyebrows raised. “What gave you that idea?”

“If your activities were legal, this side hustle would be public knowledge. I haven’t heard one peep about it, so I assumed some of your activities might be on the other side of the law.”

“You’re quick, Boss, I’ll give you that. We’ve had a client request come in that requires some outside expertise. Yours, to be exact.”

He paused, not elaborating any further. 

“This is all very interesting, Mr. Byun, but I’m going to need more information than that.”

“Of course, there’s just one teensy, tiny thing first.”

You smacked your hand across your forehead. “For the love of gosh, what?” 

Mr. Byun reached into his briefcase, pulling out a thick, legal-looking document. He flashed you a brilliant smile, one you’re sure had charmed thousands of businessmen and women alike. 

Pushing the stack of papers toward you, he pulled out a Montblanc pen and placed it on top. 

“Just a simple non-disclosure agreement, you understand, I’m sure?”

Something felt off about this whole thing, but you couldn’t put your finger on what it was. Was it the fact that your #1 most-hated enemy was in your office asking you to sign some suspicious document? Yeah, actually it probably was. 

“Come on, Boss. A little adventure wouldn’t hurt, no? Aren’t you tired of the same, old monotony?” 

How the fuck did he know that? Was the man a god-damned mind reader?

You bit your tongue, not wanting to admit to this aggravating man that he was right. Hadn’t you just been thinking that very same thing moments before he walked through your door?

You cleared your throat, picking up the stack of papers to glance through them. 

“Then I’ll need to read this through, thoroughly…you understand, I’m sure.”

Satisfied, Mr. Byun grinned, extending his hand in consent, his body relaxing into your couch, though his eyes remained intent on you. 

When you were satisfied he wasn’t trying to con you into some illegal ponzi scheme or sell your organs on the black market for cash, you signed the paper with a flourish. 

“Now that that’s out of the way, can you tell me what this ‘assignment’ is?”

“Of course”, Baekyhun replied gamely, “I need you to help me kill someone.”

~*~

Stay tuned for Part 2!

[oddeyes588]

A little late to the party but I do have some thoughts about Fantasy High Junior Year now that it's over. First of all, overall? Great season, had lots of laughs... but man, is it just me, or were there a lot of parts in this season that just... were kind of annoying? For me specifically, two big things... and no, I'm not talking about the Rat Grinders. While I'm a little disappointed with how that ended, I'm not too bothered.

Like, idk if this is a hot take or not, because they were arguably the biggest parts of this season... but I found myself especially annoyed and/or disappointed about K2 and Porter.

Like, don't get me wrong, I thought K2 was funny—especially at first—and Porter being the main villain of the season was 100% for the bit and I can respect that... but man, I couldn't help but be disappointed with Porter going full irredeemably evil, as well as just straight-up annoyed by K2's existence (at least in regards to the story. gameplaywise, making a homunculus of their cleric was VERY smart) (oh god if K2 exists in our world now she might come after me. dont forget me).

In regards to Porter... he was for sure an ass, he caused Gorgug a lot of grief with the MCAT, but he also had such a really sweet moment with him when that thing finally got signed?? It was very, like, not a perfect teacher but someone who did have his best interests in mind, paired with a really nice message about how it's alright to get mad. It was an important part of Gorgug's character growth this season! Integral to unlocking his Barbificer subclass!

...and then all of that just gets thrown away because turns out Porter was evil the whole time and this was all just leading up to his big master plan of killing a god and becoming a god of war. He was never offering genuine advice, he never cared about Gorgug or had his best interests in mind, he thought Gorgug's fascination with Artificing was stupid... and now he's dead. The End.

And that just feels... really disappointing, honestly. He was a chill guy, and yeah he had no right to bar Gorgug from pursuing what he wants and force him to take so many years of school in a single year, but it also resulted in some serious growth on Gorgug's part! It was great! Him being Evil The Whole Time felt... almost like a character assassination, honestly.

And then... there's K2...

I'm gonna be real here. I don't care if using a homunculus and shit for multiple divine intervention rolls is how it actually works in the rulebooks, and I know that objectively having more rolls is always better, especially when the stakes are high... and especially considering that Ally was not getting the rolls they needed otherwise.

This was hilarious. It was also supremely annoying, because it just fully took away from any big moment Kristen could've had this season regarding her and Cassandra after her creation... and this happened TWICE.

Like, from a storytelling perspective, I feel Brennan's pain viscerally. These episodes were truly such an experience for me, because on one hand, I was laughing at the sheer comedy of it all... but there was another part of my brain thinking this truly, truly sucked.

Kristen was figuring out her devotion to Cassandra, finding an understanding in what her role as Cassandra's cleric is... and right at the end of the season all of that kind of comes to a halt because in the end K2 did the divine interventions.

...Well, at least that still leaves some room for whatever Kristen will have to deal with in Senior year. Unlike Porter, who is dead and gone and we're definitely not bringing him back.

[absurdthirst]

Kinktober 2023: October 30th

Day 30: Double Penetration, Hotdogging, Gape/Fisting

Agent Whiskey x F!Reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 1.6k

Warnings: Mentions of anal, lubrication, anal stimulation, mentions of foursomes, dirty talk, fantasy talk, frottage, cum, anilingus, cunnilingus

**Hotdogging refers to the act of rubbing the penis between a partner's butt cheeks, but not penetrating the anus. This activity involves no penetration.**

|| Kinktober List || MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“You cozy, sugar?” Jack runs his hands down your spine and over the curve of your ass in a long, loving stroke. “Need a pillow under your stomach? I want you to be comfortable.” 

He’s eager, downright giddy to show you what this is. Hotdogging. Something that he had said would get you used to having someone touch you there, make you feel good even though the sensation isn’t what you would imagine. 

“I’m good.” Your body is pliant, loose. Limbs almost heavy from the times that Jack had made you cum with his tongue, his fingers, his cock. Despite Ginger’s throwaway comments about his prowess, you had found him to be a very generous lover. His theory was, he was always going to cum, unless there was something seriously wrong. You, however, it was his duty to make you feel good and duty was something that Agent Whiskey of Statesman Intelligence Agency took very seriously. “You aren’t going to put it in, are you?” 

That was probably your biggest fear. You’ve heard horror stories from other girls about guys who just stuck it in. They had said it was really, really painful. You don’t want your first experience with anal to be screaming bloody murder. 

“Not even the tip.” Jack promises. “I would slip in that little plug I bought you, but I want you to feel my cock rubbing against you. 

He had a plan. Mapped out for your approval, on how to introduce you to these pleasures. He was going to rub his cock through the cheeks of your ass, basically jerking himself off like that, something similar to thigh fucking, to get you used to having him there, so you don’t try to stiffen up on him. Then he would finger your ass, use a plug or beads, ect. Working you up to where you are begging him to fuck you anally. 

“I got that warming lube.” Jack leans down and kisses one ass cheek before biting it playful and swinging his leg over yours to straddle you. “None of that cold shit for my girl.” 

There’s a touch of pride in his voice, and you almost instinctively stick your ass up. Cunt clenching as you think about him sliding that hard, thick cock into your pussy, even though his cock is still wet from your cum. Addicted to his cock might actually be a thing. 

Chuckling to himself, he grabs the lube and spreads your cheeks apart to stare at the little puckered hole. Groaning when he sees you clench and imagines how tight it will be. He’s gonna make you love it. Make you want every kind of sex with him that you can have. So fucking grateful that he’s found a girl so willing to experiment. 

The lube is already warm on his fingers, Taking his time as he smears it between your cheeks enough to slick you up. Knowing that your cheeks aren’t going to gush like your little pussy does for him. 

Leaning over you more after tossing the lube down, Jack kisses your shoulder blade. “Gonna show you the world, sugar.” He promises, taking his cock in his hand and just above where he would position to slide into you, he starts to push through your cheeks slowly. 

To say it’s weird would be an understatement. It’s not something you are used to feeling, his thick cock rubbing though your cheeks, but it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel bad. It’s odd, but your ass lifts and he groans, stopping his hips immediately. 

“Don’t do that, sugar.” He hisses. “Could accidentally poke it in and you aren’t ready.” 

Biting your lip, you nod, showing him you understand and drop your hips back down. You’ll have to stay still for this, somehow.

Jack stays on his knees behind you, pushing your ass cheeks together tightly and pushing them down a bit. Making sure that he has plenty of room to pull back before he could hurt you if the angle changed. Groaning at  how good it feels, the underside of his cock scrubbing against your little hole. 

“Fuck, you’re so dirty.” He huffs, “Gonna be my little dirty girl, sugar?” He twitches as he rock his hips, the lube keeping his thrusts nice and smooth. “Let me debauch you every way I can?” 

He enjoys the dirty talk, always has, and when he’s thrusting against some parts of your body, the filthiest ideas come to mind. 

“Gonna get Tequila and Rum in here one day to share you.” He pants, knowing that he would never do that. He’s not good at sharing a woman, and he would never share you. It’s just a dirty little fantasy that you both enjoy. 

You moan softly and he chuckles. “You like that, don’t cha?” He teases, watching as the head of his cock slips out on the other side of your ass cheeks, pushing through your crack. “Maybe I’ll let Rum suck on your tits and Tequila can lick your pussy while I fuck your ass. Would you like that, sugar?” He leans down and drops kisses along your back. “Work you up to fittin’ three cocks inside your holes while you whimper and whine like a good girl for us.” 

Jack has never done threesomes, and you both admitted that you wouldn’t like it in practice, but pretend is never a bad option. Your moan makes him grin, head turned and pressed to the sheets. “Yes.” You agree quickly. “Let all three of you fuck me full. Fuck my thighs, like- like you are now. My tits.” You pant out. “Cover me in your cum too.” 

He groans, twitching again as he imagines it. “You’d be our little slut? Let us use you?” He asks, continuing to rock his hips and he feels the way that your little hole has started to pulse, knowing your cunt is tightening down too. You’re enjoying this more than you thought you would. 

“Fuck Jack.” you whimper, closing your eyes. “You know I will do anything you want.” You promise breathlessly. Ironic since you had hard limits, but it’s fantasy. 

“Good girl.” He grunts. “Letting me rock my cock against that little hole. Imagining pushing inside you. Feeling you clench down around me. It’s gonna be so sweet. You’re gonna love it.” 

You hum, gripping the sheets as you imagine him fucking you like that. Experiencing something new with him. Because of him. Your life is so different from what you imagined because of one crazy cowboy sliding into your life like he’s sliding his cock against your hole. “You gonna cum, Jack?” You ask. “You gonna cum on my back? Or are you gonna slide inside my pussy to cum.” 

Jack groans again, twitching again as he steadily thrusts into your push together cheeks. You aren’t tensing up in fear, you’re trying to rock back. Obviously enjoying yourself or just enjoying working him up. “Cum on- on your back.” He groans. “Then I’m gonna tongue fuck your little pussy and that hole.” He promises. “Make you cum again.” 

He’s never pressed his tongue against your asshole, but the idea doesn’t sound so bad right now, making you moan. “Whatever you want.” You huff in agreement.

“Good girl, fuck, you’re so good to me.” Jack moans. “Letting me do this. Wanting to have me shove my cock into every hole you have and claiming it, claiming you.” He’s possessive, but he always makes you feel good. Even if it’s just using the things that he knows works for you. 

“Cum, Jack.”  You whine, pushing your hips up slightly and enjoying the way his fingers dig into the meat of your ass. “Want you to eat me out again.”

He chuckles breathlessly, ramping up his thrusts as he tries to comply. “It feel good, sugar? I bet that little pussy is drippin’ right now, soakin’ the sheets under you.” 

You moan, nodding. “I need, next time, I want a toy inside.” You gasp out, making him twitch even more at the idea of making this a thing. Adding this to the filthy, non penetrative things you can do.  There are times you want to cum, but you don’t want his dick inside you. He completely understands and was delighted making you cum but rubbing your clit with his cock the other month. It’s what gave him the idea to do this. 

“I’m gonna cum, sugar.” He pants. “Gonna paint your pretty skin with my cum and let it drip while I lick you.” He presses down on your hips, dropping his own as he starts to quickly fuck through the little crevice your cheek make around his cock. Desperate to cum now. “You want that?” 

“Yessssss.” You hiss, feeling the way his pace is stuttering and knowing that he’s close. Despite not being able to cum like this, you love the way it feels, how it makes you want to beg him to just shove his cock into your ass. 

Jack’s pace falters and he starts to groan, rocking his hips shallowly as his cum starts to spurt onto your lower back. Thick, hot jets of it splattering on your skin while he rocks through his high. Groaning your name sexily. 

You moan at the feeling, about to make a comment about how Jack can cum anywhere, when he’s pulling away. Making your eyes pop open in confusion until he’s grabbing your hips and dragging them up. His tongue diving into the crack of your ass to probe your hole greedily before sliding down to your cunt. 

“Oh, oh fuck, Jaaaaaack.” your eyes close again, moaning over how good it feels, even as his cum starts to cool on your skin. Hotdogging had been interesting, but you much prefer the eagerness of this cowboy’s mouth. 

[primomover]

Hello there, your writing is awesome!!

May I request any of the papas with a transmasc reader?

Thanks for everything

ANON!!!! you have absolutely made my day. here are all four papas with a transmasc reader, thank you for your kind words!

(sfw, with nsfw implications for terzo!)

primo-

-primo’s biggest thing is you maintaining your physical health.

-have you been binding for too long? have you had enough water?

-he will check in on you throughout the day to see how you’re going for your duties, making sure to remind you of how handsome you are.

-he makes herbal balms as a ‘natural’ (he may have laced them with magick oops) alternative to testosterone if you want to take it but are too scared.

-you will (unfortunately) get many “back when i was young” stories as to how people expressed themselves

-honestly, overall he’s just so protective of you

secondo-

-HOOO BOY. if you thought primo was protective, you ain’t seen NOTHING yet

-when you come out to him initially, he doesn’t fully grasp it, or brushes it off slightly, simply saying that you are free to express yourself however you like. but when he sees that this upsets you and makes you feel as though you’re not being heard, he truly goes out of his way to pay attention.

-if there is any ridicule you receive, any at all? the individual is scalded beyond belief. bathroom cleaning duty for a month straight.

-is generally very handsy. he massages you after a long day, making sure to work out any aches or pains you may have from throughout your day.

-a lot of gender affirming masculine compliments :)

terzo-

-this goofy bastard is your BIGGEST FAN

-when you came out to him, he was so gentle, caressing your face and telling you that he will always care for you

-if you want to cut your hair, he will be the one to do it because he insists that he knows how best to style shorter hair

-WILL slap your ass when you try on new pants and tell you how handsome you look

-he gives you cologne and some of his clothes so you don’t have to put yourself in uncomfortable positions to get more things if you’re not ready to tell more people yet

copia-

-he is so gentle and so tender with you, wanting you to know how much he is willing to support you

-will go shopping with you, holding your hand for emotional support, whether you’re together or not

-during the time when he was a cardinal and maintained his facial hair, he would let you sit in and he would also shave your face too, no matter if you have any facial hair or not

-“your papa struggles with body dysphoria too. you are not alone, mio piccolo.”

-he knows how hard the experience of coming out and understanding your identity can be, especially in a place like the ministry, so he wants you to know that you can take all the time in the world, he will always support you

my inbox is open for requests, both sfw and nsfw for any and all ghost characters!

[idrinkyouryouthquake]

Imma lay some information about Marc Bolan on you coz it's just hanging out in my head for free

Marc Bolan is seriously the greatest wizard who's ever lived. Every other rock legend is really easy to explain. Like Jimmy Page is a great guitarist and writes great riffs and stuff and Robert Plant has an amazing and versatile voice so all that checks out and like Bruce Springsteen is a great songwriter and dynamic performer and The E Street Band is just a fucking excellent band so we all get that and Billy Joel is the fucking Piano Man and Queen is four great singer/songwriters who are also great at instruments and ditto The Beatles and The Stones are a bunch of little freaks being weird and most of them are really good at instruments but we mainly like watching them jumping around saying the filthiest shit we've ever heard and that also makes sense. And like David Bowie is some kind of space goblin with a borderline classical voice who can kick ass on like 7 different instruments and ditto Prince.

All of this makes perfect sense.

And then there is Marc Bolan. Who sold more records in the UK than The Beatles. Like he beat The Beatles at their own game. And what exactly did Marc do? Well, he had this really fast vibrato so it always sounded like he was singing his Torah portion. He was 5'5 and always wore muscle shirts under pink satin suits and feathers and had Barbra Streisand's exact hair. He wrote this kind of free associative poetry that is completely open to interpretation and no one actually knows 100% what any single song is about. Like, some of his biggest hits, people are like, that song is about a car. And then other people are like, you're fucking ignorant, that song is about a PHONE. And these people are still arguing. And he's been dead since 1977.

And the rest of his songs are about weird fucking cockney dudes who just confused the shit out of everyone in the East End where everyone knew their names, but not like their actual names, but like the random shit people called them instead of their names because people didn't know who the fuck they were even though they'd been living there since the dawn of time.

And then there were other songs about how Marc Bolan wanted to have sex with you. But these songs were also ALWAYS about cars. And then there were songs where he'd just sing shit like "we're the leopards" over and over and over again and he'd call it "The Leopards Featuring Gardenia and the Mighty Slug" and I cannot stress this enough, there was no Gardenia or Mighty Slug featured on the album, it was just his wife.

And a major part of Marc's wizardry is that he is consistently name-checked in lists of the greatest guitarists of all time. If you go back to his first, I don't know, 7 albums or whatever before like Electric Warrior came out, he was BAD at guitar. So bad that Eric fucking Clapton took pity on him and just straight up showed him how to guitar right. And I'm gonna tangent off to say one thing about this man's personality: he was hella difficult. But like, even after he learned how to guitar real hard, he still wrote songs that had like 3 goddamn chords in them. I'm going through the rolodex in my brain, but he pretty much never wrote a song in a minor key. Life's an Elevator, that one's in a minor key. And then maybe nothing else ever again? He was rocking as hard as is humanly possible with as little as is humanly possible.

Back to the whole Marc was difficult thing: Marc kept pissing everyone in the world off and couldn't keep a band together. Did it matter? NO! His drummers kept mysteriously dying so the answer to who is the drummer in his band, at any point, was A) who is a drummer who is alive? And B) who is a drummer who can tolerate Marc Bolan's personality? And like half of them were named Mickey.

David Bowie tells a good story about meeting Marc Bolan. They were good friends, even though Marc was a giant pain in his ass. I'll let him tell the story because it's just better.

Marc was OBSESSED with Syd Barrett. Fair enough, aren't we all? He used to hang around Pink Floyd's manager's office constantly because of that. If you don't already know, Pink Floyd's manager at the time brought on this very nice woman named June Child to basically look after Syd and then they became lovers, but she was literally an employee of the company. Marc was SO OBSESSED with Syd, he MARRIED JUNE CHILD. He did that.

I've talked a lot here about how he was obsessed with cars, right? Well, he became very rich very fast and bought a fuck ton of old cars. Could he drive? FUCK NO! He was terrified he was going to die in a car crash, that was his greatest fear in life, so he never learned how to drive. And so guess how he died? IN A MOTHERFUCKING CAR CRASH. At 29 years old. Just after quitting cocaine and champagne and starting to get his life back together.

He named his son Rolan Bolan. His songwriting did not get worse on drugs, it just got more lyrically insane, but it was not a far trip. He influenced punks everywhere and is one of the most underrated proto punk artists (example B) and also made a ton of disco at the same goddamn time. So much disco.

He started out doing Lord of the Rings inspired folk and released a boatload of albums like this. He wrote giant fuck off fantasy novels as a teenager called shit like The Krakenmist and Pictures Of Purple People and I think maybe one called The Children of Rarn or maybe that was his poetry collection but he has like 3 different songs called The Children of Rarn anyway. Rarn was the fantasy world he had invented.

Then he went electric and made all of these hard rock/disco/proto punk/boogie albums that we've already covered. And then he died. And he did aaaaaalll of this shit and so much more I couldn't possibly cover or even have knowledge of in a mere 29 years.

So in summary and in summation: a billion albums, an infinite amount of unproduced demos that they keep putting out in compilations to this day, folk, pop, rock, punk, glam, disco, blues, bop, novels, poetry collections, an ironic death, feathers, big hair, AND THE MAN WAS DYSLEXIC AS FUUUUUCK.

I don't know how to describe this man, but Marc Bolan is my hero.

[sadlynotthevoid]

GUYS!!

I was listening to Charlotte's ending (because, being honest, that anime has the most beautiful music in the story of anime and sometimes I just need to hear it again— damn it why does it have to have such a story) and I thought 'I wish there was a lcf crossover with og cale of this'. Which, great idea, actually.

So I started to daydream about it (instead of writing anything as the procrastinator that I am) and my first thought was that it has to be a sort of happier life, since the anime ended like that (specially for the Otosaka siblings, overall the Otosaka siblings). So my brain said "hey, why don't put the main cast in the Northeast families? Nao now has to deal with Eric's dorkness". So I went with it and tried to figure out 'which northeast family gets what charlotte character?'

I wanted to put Yuu in the Henituse family because the ending destroyed me, damn it, I want him to be happy. And his little sister— wait didn't they had an older sibling too? (I can't believe I forgot about Shunsuke ;∆; I'm so sorry. You were my fav)

Then I realized—

OG CALE AND SHUNSUKE ARE BASICALLY THE SAME FUCKING PERSON!

Protective older siblings? Check. Selfsacrifical bastards ready to throw themselves for their family? Check. A strange relationship with time? Check. Elegant warm smile that reaches the eyes? Check. Absolutely badass hidden character? Check. Charming as fuck? Also fucking check.

They both even have the same 'I hold the key to salvation you need' and 'I wnt back in time so they won't be doomed' roles!

So—

Nao, Joujirou, Yusa, Misa, and Kumagami (he's the guy who located people with powers in the map and he was Shunsuke's best friend. He matters to me, okay?) are all reborn in the northeast families. Nao is Eric's younger sister. Yusa and Misa are twins and Gilbert's pain in the ass. Koujirou, the poor bastard, is born in the Stan family and runs away at the first chance. Kumagami is Amiru's older sibling who owns a shop because Ubarr is a matriarchal family (fuck thanks) and he needs to pay his meals (he may or may not be going for his third life. And he may or may not be a certain someone).

And the Otosaka's? They're reincarnated as the Henituse siblings... who have no idea the others remember their past lives.

They do, however, know who the others were.

Lily is the first one to remember. It take her some time to put the pieces together and realize that her dreams are not just dreams. That said, she recognized Bassen immidiately. He's still as sweet with her as before and, although her oppa may not realize, he can be quite unhinged sometimes. (That's fine tho. Most of them are.)

She lasts more to recognize Cale. She and her orabeoni aren't so close, she doesn't know him that well. That's why it takes her some old blurred memories from when she barely could walk and a bad night to notice. Ayumi's Shunsuke and Lily's Cale are the same person. After that the soft spot her orabeoni has for them becomes so obvious to her that she has to ask herself if she was blind before. Scary? Trash? Pshh, orabeoni was the biggest softy in the world. Let alone people, he doesn't like harming bugs. He picks them up and puts them outside so the servants won't squash them. Why do people think he would hit anyone?

Bassen cringes at his past life choices. He can't believe he used to be so— so— irresponsible. How embarrasing.

He's kind of surprised and sad at how good student his brother was. Not because he didn't think he's smart enough, but because he didn't expect him to effort so much at it. And if he did before, why did he drop his studies this time? Knowing all what he does now, he has the feeling that it must be either something stupidly self-sacrifical or something really important he decided not to tell anyone.

Lily seems to him pretty much the same but with a liking for swords. Good. Luckily, this way she would be able to protect herself this time. And gosh, isn't he reliaved they don't have those powers this time? No more accidental collapsing buildings for her.

Cale is the last one to remember that life. He's also the only one to remember their future life and probably the only one who knows why they remembered. Just like he tends to do with most things, he doesn't tell anyone about it (except Kumagami) until it comes up in a conversation or it's needed. (Alberu is a little bit jealous about this. Why does that guy gets to know but not him? Aren't they close too? Does he not trust Alberu as much? Thankfully someone has the mind to tell him that that's just how they used to be. And also because Kumagami seems is, as far as they know, the only one of Shunsuke's circle of friends that came to this world with them.)

His siblings? Oh, he knew it instantly.

[slocumjoe]

⚡Gage Catchup Lightning Round⚡

Since I haven't written him in every post, just going back and giving him his very own variety hour of everything he's missed

Biggest complaint about writing; I absolutely hate that the Minutemen can't be recognized as the absolute juggernauts that you can turn them into. It's everywhere in the game, but with Gage, in particular, its such a missed opportunity. I talked about this in earlier but just know I still hate it. Nuka World on a Minutemen playthrough is kind of a flop in general. You go there, you kill everything, done. Being able to confront Gage with a Minutemen army that blows the dick off of any raider gang he's ever seen in comparison is, like, a golden goose egg. But its fine 🙃

Sole breaks down crying in his arms; 1/10 C.C, 0/10 I.C. Doesn't matter what kind of relationship they have. Gage was not the person to do this out of the blue to. If they're close, he'll care, and want to help, but tough shit, he's Porter Gage. He's not meant for that kind of stuff. Maybe if he had a lead up, some kind of warning, he'd be better suited to...not be useless. Honestly, most likely companion to straight up duck when they go for him, flip them over on the ground. If he lets them, Gage keeps his arms and face up, stares at the ceiling and pretends it isn't happening. That's if they're close. If they aren't, whether they're mostly strangers or just buddies, you're getting flipped like a pancake.

1 headcanon; Stress eater, but doesn't want to waste food as a nervous tic, so settles for smoking. Keeps his mouth busy. Will also chew on shit, like necklace chains or pens.

2 headcanons;

Was very close with his family until the day he left. It wasn't a growing resentment, it was an epiphany one day after a raid. Before that one day, no one would have ever thought that Porter, who was shaping up to be a fine young man, a good older brother, great with the cows and goats, would run off in the night, and later become a raider. Was a momma's boy, always helping her around the house. Especially close to his grandparents, got a lot of his personality from his crotchety ass grandfather who rarely had a good thing to say about anyone. Except Porter. Porter was the favorite child.

Never returned home because he knew, for a fact, that his name was going around after the Conner incident, and the idea of seeing his family when they knew what he was now, made him sick to his fucking stomach. He says he doesn't care. But 16 year old Porter Gage sat in a backroom of an old bar with a cold beer to his now-blind eye, and bawled.

Physique headcanons; Dad bod for daaaayyys. Strong, lean arms, very broad shoulders, tiny little waist and hips. Taller, 6 feetish. Toned body but with a softer belly. His hands are square, veiny, boney, and have long fingers. Scarred around the nails from chewing obsessively he was younger. Not about physique, but about his body, so; has tattoos. Very simple designs, your basic tribal patterns on the torso and shoulders. Would get more if he wasn't older, and now smart enough to be wary of strange needles. Missing more teeth than he's comfortable with. Lot of body hair all around, but centered mostly on his chest and happy trail. As for the eye, the injury was the fusion cell on his rifle getting shot and blowing up...as he was aiming down the ironsight. The eye is still there, just completely fucked and useless. The skin is obviously burned, and becomes itchy and painful in colder weather. Needs the patch so he doesn't scratch or rub it. Doesn’t use laser weapons anymore. Insecure about his appearance if in a meaningful relationship, even more so if his partner really is, as he says, a stunner.

Laughing headcanons; Doesn’t laugh often, keeps that shit to himself. But...if you can catch him, his laugh is very rough, snorting, lots of little catches of breath. Crosses his arms and covers his mouth when laughing. His eyes squint heavily, and his crows feet are much more noticeable. His laughing is on the quieter side, snickering to himself. But if its a full-blown fit, will tear up laughing. Wheezy. Kind of seal-like in his laughing-laughing.

Variety NSFW headcanons; Bit on the bigger side but not enough to be worrying. Has a scar on his dick, under the foreskin. Will not explain because he himself has no fucking idea. B.O IS SO FUCKING BAD. Would die happy if given a titjob. Once crossdressed for a partner and has to take a moment to cringe every time he remembers it. Not the crossdressing thing, the guy he was fucking. Not someone worth doing that for. If he's in a shower, he's jerking off. Its like...the only reason he takes them.

[skaruresonic]

🤍, 🖤, 💖, 💔, 💕?

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Lmao how many people can I piss off if I jokingly say "Eggman"?

Huh, this is a tough one. Can't really think of any.

I guess I'll fall back on an oldie but goodie and say the ARK, as a whole, was morally ambiguous. While they weren't performing unethical surgery on Shadow, you also don't develop WMDs in secret without some kind of agenda.

I also think GUN's shadiness fluctuates depending on the game. They seem to have shaped up after the events of ShTH and started acting towards a more collective good in honor of Gerald's memory, but their actions in SA2 suggest an inept government. And, well, you know the old saying about stupidity becoming indistinguishable from malice after a certain point.

I tend to wonder what the Commander's plan was during the events of SA2. Although the game portrays GUN as a bunch of flat-feet until it's revealed that they raided the colony, I can't help but wonder if he in some part manufactured Sonic's framing in order to head public scrutiny off at the pass, much like how they portrayed the raid as an accident reponse. I can't imagine the Commander would have liked it to be known that Eggman stole Project Shadow while it lay under his jurisdiction.

---

🖤: Which character is not as morally good as everyone else seems to think?

...Eggman. Just because he speculated on his grandfather's motives once or twice doesn't mean he's rethinking his life choices. The war criminal life didn't choose him, he chose the war criminal life lol.

---

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

THE ENTIRE WORLD CAN FIGHT ME ON THIS BUT YOU ARE TRIPPING IF YOU SAY SA2'S TREASURE HUNTING STAGES ARE WORSE THAN SA1'S. BITCH WHERE. HOW. WHOMST.

AT LEAST THEY'RE NOT COPY-PASTED DIRECTLY FROM SONIC'S LEVELS WITHOUT REGARD FOR KNUCKLES' MOVESET. ROUGE AND KNUCKLES MOVE JUST AS QUICKLY AS SONIC AND SHADOW. "IT TAKES TOO LONG" YEAH BECAUSE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LEARN THE LAYOUT AND GIT GUD. JESSE WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS SUCH A NONSENSICAL CRITICISM FOR A GAME THAT HAS KART RACING. I DON'T GET IT. IT SAYS "TREASURE HUNTING" ON THE TIN. YOU'RE EXPECTED TO LOOK FOR EMERALDS. THAT'S LIKE GOING FISHING AND COMPLAINING ABOUT GETTING WET.

PLUS THE RADAR IN SA1 BUGS ME SO MUCH MORE BECAUSE IT NEVER SHUTS UP. I LIKE THAT SA2'S RADAR DOESN'T DING EVERY TIME I GET CLOSE TO AN UNINTENDED EMERALD SHARD BECAUSE I CAN JUST PICK UP, NO MUSS NO FUSS NO COCONUTS. THIS IS LITERALLY NOT A PROBLEM. OMFG IF I HAVE TO HEAR "SA2's tReAsUrE hUnTiNg SuCkS" ONE MORE TIME

that being said I will agree that Death Chamber and Egg Quarters suck a bag of dicks, particularly Egg Quarters Hard Mode which leaves you at the mercy of the Kikis' wonky AI. motherfuckers always blow themselves up and ruin my A-rank

---

💔: If you had to remove one major character from the series, who would you choose?

You all are really gonna hate me, but Blaze. You could remove her from '06's plot and nothing would change. Hell, the fact that she resides in a different dimension inherently means you could remove every single aspect of her circumstances and nothing of the series at large would change.

Idk man, I just don't think she adds much, honestly. Her personality is kind of Mary-Suish while also being underwhelming, as well as largely informed: her fear of heights, for instance, doesn't impact Rush's gameplay at all. She enjoys special exceptions other girl characters don't, and it's a pain in the ass to even include her in a future game because you have to explain why she isn't back in her own dimension.

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💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Is Shadria unpopular enough to count? Guess it's only unpopular with antis.

Oh, well. I'll say Sonegg :P

[nataliescatorccio]

Hello, Becca! I hope you're doing well! Bit of a random question perhaps but since you are a woman of great tastes, I am curious: What are your top 10 favorite shows?? Feel free to add what you like most about them! Thanks for indulging me and keep being amazing <3

hello phoe! hope you're well too<3 i'll be honest, whenever i get this kind of question my mind immediately goes blank and i forget any show i've ever watched, so this is by no means a 'definitive list' because there are definitely things i love that just slip my mind, but here are more shows i've really enjoyed this past year:

the witcher: for the women who take shit from no one and kick ass, but also for the found family vibes. the witcher will always have a special place in my heart, the characters are both fantastic on their own and interacting with each other, and this show will always feel like home to me

shadow and bone: just because i've giffed it a lot this week and it brought back all the feelings. comedy mixed with action, it was just an adventure and a joy. shadow and bone brings back the young adult fantasy nostalgia my brain craves, but injects a freshness of sarcastic comedy into it with the addition of the crows (my beloveds)

yellowjackets: rewired my brain chemistry. it was the biggest surprise of a show for me because i actually thought i really would not vibe with it as it's marketed towards horror and i am a scardy cat who does not vibe with anything horror. and yet, from the first episode it completely grabbed me. the wanting to know what happened next of course, but mostly just getting to see the intricate relationships between girls. there is nothing out there quite like yellowjackets, and for that reason it really is a special one

house of the dragon: divorced lesbians let's go! i love a show that's a tragedy. i love a show where i know the ending and it's inescapable. i love watching everything crumble whilst knowing there is no way out, and yet begging at every second for something to somehow change. just fantastic worldbuilding, fantastic characters, and fantastic relationships to watch burn. if you like angst and pain this one's for you!

our flag means death: i don't think anything exists quite like our flag means death. it's a breath of fresh air in the tv world. there's a character for everyone to love, whatever archetype you fall for. and it's guaranteed to be a rollercoaster of emotions: this show has made me laugh and cry but most importantly it never disappoints

the last of us: show of 2023 for me. i knew very little about the last of us game watching this, and for that reason i was hooked the second i started watching because i just had to know what happened. i still have to know what happens, the wait for 2024 may kill me. just a great action-packed show with the most beautiful acting in existence

good omens: good omens was just a little bit of light in my life this year. where a lot of shows in the currently tv world rely on heavy action sequences, or gore, or even sexual content, good omens challenges that perfectly. it's a light-hearted relief, even silly at times (in the best way possible), but also knows how to make you think and make you cry. i just adore how the plot is done, with a 'present day' storyline but also several stories that run in the past to see how the characters got to where they are now, it's a trope that i very much enjoy

bridgerton: i absolutely love a good period drama. i grew up watching many a jane austen adaptation with my mum, and so there is something incredibly comforting to me about adaptations set in this time. bridgerton is just a good vibe, i know it will make me feel warm and fuzzy inside no matter what drama it also serves on the side. plus kate and anthony? rewrote the definition of chemistry

the umbrella academy: honourable mention to my little superhero show of chaos. if you like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. if you don't like superhero shows, watch the umbrella academy. it's a chaotic mix of found family and time travel and trying to save the world and that makes it perfection

merlin: shoutout to this classic because i've been rewatching it lately and damn, they just don't make tv like they used to in the mid to late 2000s. at times it's cheesy, at times it makes you want to bawl your eyes out, and you know what? you'll never know which one it's going to be. it's absolutely ridiculous but entirely fun. once you accept that the bad cgi is hilarious you'll be guaranteed a wonderful show, just take your tissues with you for the sudden gut-punches of emotion it provides

[apureniallsource]

Niall Horan is just getting started.

From his days as a boy bander (ever heard of One Direction?), to branching out as a solo artist in 2016, to now leading a team of hopeful musicians as a coach on NBC’s The Voice while gearing up to release his third album, Horan has experienced more in his career than most musicians could ever dream of. Now 13 years in, he’s hitting a new stride—and leading the show all on his own. “As I grow up, I understand myself as an artist more and more,” he told VMAN last month. “I’m getting to that place now where I know what I’m good at, and I know what sounds good on me.”

Horan has had plenty of time to play around with his sound. His second album, Heartbreak Weather—which was an experimental foray into heartbreak pop and a solid departure from his folksy 2017 debut, Flicker—was released in March 2020, just as the world slowed to a halt for the pandemic. Instead of feeling sorry about the timing, Horan took his sudden stretch of free time and got to work on album number three, The Show, which comes out on June 9. In fact, the major source of inspiration for The Show came to Horan shortly after Heartbreak Weather’s release, when an Instagram Live with his fans caused him to rethink a concept he’d already written. “I looked back and saw that ‘the show’ was something I’d had written down for a long time, but I never really knew what that meant until we were in the pandemic,” he explained. “And then it was clear to me that life is like a show. That’s what it is: it’s ups and downs, goods and bads.”

In many ways, the album reflects that. Horan dances around the joys of being in love and the pains of anxiety and finds his groove throughout the album’s 10 tracks. And as he settles into this new era, he feels reinvigorated as an artist: “I want to play arenas. I want to play packed shows every night. And I want to work my ass off to make sure that I get there.”

VMAN sat down with Horan to talk about the making of ‘The Show’, and his new singles “Meltdown” and “Heaven.”

VMAN: Congrats on the second single, “Meltdown.” You also have your first single, “Heaven,” which is just such a catchy song. When did you write that one, and did you always know that it would be the first single?

Niall Horan: Yeah, to be honest. When we first did it, I was like, “God, this is it. It’s going to be tough to beat this one.” I wrote it in June or July of last year in Joshua Tree with a few friends of mine. I felt like I’d been missing something like that in the record, and I wanted to write that concept, so I just went for it and it kind of just popped out. I’d been singing the chorus melody for a couple of days, or at least the first couple of lines of it, and I wasn’t really sure what the hell it was until one of the guys started playing the chords, and I was like, “I know what this is. I’m gonna sing over that.” And then the concept really fell into place then afterwards.

VM: Is that pretty typical of your songwriting process?

NH: I mean, there’s one song in the record that I wrote in under an hour, and it was like, the words just came flying out. I just knew what the concept was going to sound like, if you know what I mean. But there are other times, like, I had this piano line forever for “Never Grow Up,” but it was just about finding what the song meant conceptually, and what lyrics go with that. Most of the time, I like to have a good idea of what I’m going to say, so I write a story out. If it’s a dark song, it’s probably going to be a ballad. But sometimes, it’s the opposite. Like, there’s “Meltdown,” that’s 170 BPM, very up-tempo, but it’s actually about anxiety.

VM: Every song on the album feels really unguarded, if that’s the right word for it. How do you let yourself get into that headspace to be so introspective and vulnerable when you’re writing? I can’t imagine it’s easy.

NH: It used to be really hard for me to do that. You just have to do it in a way where people understand what you’re saying, instead of being so introspective that you’re writing every little detail of your life, and people are like, “what are you even talking about.” So you want to relate to everyone, but it can be tough to get yourself to that point. I used to worry about being asked about stuff in interviews…I thought about writing about certain things and just knowing I was going to be asked about that forever.

VM: Yeah, hard to kind of walk that line I guess. Would you say music has always been the way that you’ve channeled your feelings?

NH: Yeah, I do a lot of writing. And sometimes, it turns into songs, sometimes it doesn’t, but I try to write stuff down. This is the most cliché thing that anyone’s ever said, but sometimes is like a form of therapy. I don’t go to therapy, but I do when I sit down and play the guitar, you know?

VM: So would you say then that overall, the album reflects where you are in your life right now?

NH: Yeah, I think it’s the best reflection for sure. Even when I listen to it now, it’s got like everything that I feel two years later, sonically, lyrically, and conceptually. It’s all there.

VM: How did you land on The Show as the album title? I know you have the song by the same name, but what does that phrase mean to you?

NH: The title came before the song, to be fair. Back then, I was taking down notes all the time. I’ve got 101,270 voice notes, I checked earlier. And I looked back and saw that “the show” was something I’d had written down for a long time, but I never really knew what that meant until we were in the pandemic. And then it was clear that life is like a show. That’s what it is: it’s ups and downs, goods and bads. And that felt like a good strong concept to me in terms of sitting down to write an album. And once I’d written the song called “The Show,” I felt like alright, I’m off to the races here a little bit. It just kind of fell into place like that.

VM: So “The Show” was the first song you wrote for the album?

NH: It was, yeah. It was like a 1 a.m. Instagram Live with my fans in the pandemic, because we weren’t going anywhere, you know. I wrote the first verse of the song, and then the whole album just made sense from that. It’s a hard one to describe, how it just came about.

VM: Sonically, then, how do you think you’ve evolved in the three years since Heartbreak Weather?

NH: I’ve really started to bring my influences—the stuff that I listen to—into play now. The stuff that I’m into from the ‘70s is coming into play a lot with all the big, bright background vocals that you hear throughout the album.

VM: Switching gears a bit, you obviously got your start on The X Factor. Now being a coach on The Voice, I’m curious if that aligns with what you thought it would be like to be a judge, back when you were a contestant on The X Factor?

NH: I was like a deer in the headlights, back in the day. There’s loads of famous people who have got your future in their hands, and I was still just taken aback by the fact that I was on a big TV show every Saturday night. I was just loving that we were having such a great time, so I didn’t really look at it from the other side. Now, knowing that I have people’s future in my hands is a scary prospect. I have to make really tough decisions about people leaving the competition, losing team members, stuff like that. I can now understand what it would have been like for those people who had to make decisions on my behalf and my future. Apart from that, it’s just an absolute blast. We spend all of our time laughing, on and off camera. The banter between all the coaches is so good.

VM: So, festival season is coming up, and you’re playing at quite a few. First of all, what are you most looking forward to with that, and second of all, do you think that playing for a festival audience is going to be different from a more traditional concert audience?

NH: I’m so excited for festivals—I’m a huge festival-goer. And I always get jealous when I’m watching the artists on stage, just thinking that I’d love to be up there looking at that sea of people. So, I’m looking forward to doing that. But I also see it as a challenge to try and get some new fans, because I’ve been that drunk guy walking around the field looking for the bar, and then walking past the stage and there’s someone up there playing and all of a sudden, I’m listening to their music online. I’ve done that so many times at festivals.

VM: You’ve got to get the people who are in the back getting food or something.

NH: Exactly. Hopefully, the guy going to the bar looking for a drink or whatever might stick around, then might listen to me online, and then might even buy my new record. You never know.

[dream-meister-translations]

ASAHI CHARACTER CARD #1

━

One day while I was working as a guild keeper for the Eternal Flower guild at the Hanasaki Mansion… EMMA : Watch your step, please. VISITOR 1 : Wow! I could have never imagined this was what the inside of the Hanasaki Mansion looked like. VISITOR 2 : It's hard to tell how big it is from the outside, isn't it? The inside of the dojo is crowded by people who are touring the Eternal Flower guild. ASAHI : Oh, there are so many people again. Looks like it's going to be a lively tour!

EMMA : Yeah! I hope it will be a lot of fun. ASAHI : Guilds and Meisters are still a total mystery for the people of our country. My hope is that by opening up the guild for tours, we can deepen their understanding of the guild and it's importance. EMMA : I'm really looking forward to it. ASAHI : Me too! Okay. We're all set! By the way, you've been working so hard lately. You haven't had any time to relax, have you? EMMA : I'm sure it's been the same for you and everyone else. ASAHI : Nah. I don't think of this kind of thing as work at all. If it's for the sake of protecting our country, I enjoy every second. VISITOR 1 : So, let me get this straight, the point of this guild is to spread your culture to other countries around the world? ASAHI : Yes! I'd love to show you all how we plan on doing so! SHIRANUI : How about we start with a musical performance. Aoi, are you ready? AOI : Yes~ MIKAGE : I'm supposed to show off my ninja skills too, right? What a pain in the ass… With that, Aoi began blowing into his flute. Shiranui beating at his taiko drum. While Mikage used his ninja skills to make the flames dance around to the sound of the music. The visitors gasped in awe and cheered. ASAHI : You see. Our guild exists to preserve the precious culture of our country, like this musical performance, and to spread it to other countries. We are here to showcase the various traditions and skills we have cultivated. VISITOR 1 : I see, I see…And these Meisters and guilds are commonplace in other countries? VISITOR 2 : What is this World Guild Federation? What does it do? EMMA : The World Guild Federation exists to manage all of the guilds. I am a guild keeper. I assist in checking on all of the guilds for the Federation. I also manage the requests people have for the guilds. VISITOR 2 : Oh, requests? Can they be about anything? EMMA : Yes. However, the guild will make the final decision on whether or not to accept the request. Is there something you wish to request? VISITOR 2 : I work for the shrine up in the mountains. I was supposed to clean it today. I was hoping someone from this guild could take care of it for me. EMMA : I see. EMMA : (I can take care of a little cleaning. There is no reason to bother Asahi with this.) EMMA : Then, I'll do it. ASAHI : If it's that kind of request, then I'll accept it as a personal favor. VISITOR 2 : Really!? ASAHI : Yes, I'll take care of it! I promise! Asahi placed a hand on his puffed up chest and flashed the biggest, brightest smile. EMMA : (……) The way Asahi always cheerfully takes on the requests of those in need makes me feel proud. He sure is a dependable guy.