#I had therapy today and we talked about that person and I’m just | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mmkclarkey · 5 months ago

Text

We have a spare room ~ Part 1

When everything goes wrong, moving in with three guys will solve it?

You were a fairly average girl, who never really took any risks and lived a safe life, besides being a blossoming TikTok sensation (as some may say, not you, you do not say), that is until you found your roommate in bed with your boyfriend; ruining everything you had planned for your life so far. Also meaning that you had to find somewhere else to live.

This however was proving quite hard as you hadn’t long moved to London, and your original plans weren’t to move away from your flat in quite a nice place in soho so soon. Bringing you to where you were now, sat on the sofa of your brothers flat in east London, looking through listings when an ad pops up on your app specifically made for influencers wanting to move in to London:

Looking for a fourth roommate, flat in mainstream London, open to anyone who isn’t going to doxx us

You laughed at the sight, swiping up on the notification and continuing scrolling, mind thinking back to the advertisement quite a bit. You bit the inside of your cheek with a furrowed brow while looking at your screen, clicking on the notification and pictures of the flat popping up, looking like quite a nice place and after more research; quite a nice price too.

You immediately messaged the number attached, still nervous as the ad didn’t exactly explain who any of the roommates would be, just mentioning that they were YouTubers.

Hey, I saw your ad, and I’ve recently had to move out of my flat due to some circumstances, and I’m totally interested in moving in with you guys if you’d be up for it.

The reply to the message didn’t come until the next day, which at that point the ad had slipped from your mind. It came through with a ping in your pocket while you were using retail therapy as your way through Oxford street, stopping in the middle of TKMaxx to bring it out and view the message, a smile coming to your face as you do.

Hi! Omg we would love for you to come round and have a look, if you wouldn’t mind we’d love to talk to you about what you do etc, not to be weird just to make sure that you’d be the best match for the flat!

You quickly type out a reply:

Thank you so much! Do you have a day in mind that we can do it, looking to move out of where I am ASAP

As if to match your energy, the reply came through almost instantly.

Would you be free today?

Yes of course! I can be there within the hour if that’s okay?

Yeah course! The address is *****************************

You quickly wrap up in the shop, turning to your brother as you walk out. Strolling for a bit longer before deciding to start the short walk to the address you had been given.

“I’m going to view that flat from last night” you say casually, making your brother raise his brow, quickly holding your arm softly.

“Please be safe yeah? I don’t feel like filling out a missing persons report for you two months after you move to London”

You smile, giving him a hug as you walk away, heart pounding out of your chest as you think through all the terrifying possibilities that could be awaiting you. What if they were serial killers? What if they hated you?

“Are you here for the listing” the voice sounds soft, you wonder what type of girls you’d be moving in with.

“Yeah I am, I said I’d be here within the hour” you said with a small laugh, the door buzzes quickly as you head into the lift, fiddling with your fingers, reaching the door of the flat as you ring the doorbell.

The door opens in the middle of you taking a deep sigh, a man answering with a smile on his face.

“Oh uhm, I must have the wrong flat I’m so sorry-” you begin as the man stops you.

“Are you here for the listing?” He asks in a soft tone, making you nod your head. “No you’re at the right place, not expecting a guy or something?”

You laugh as you reply “not particularly, the messages kind of gave off a girl vibe, and the decor of the flat”, the man in front of you hits the door lightly after you step in, closing it behind you.

“For fucks sake Chris! I told you to message her with a different tone, poor girl must be terrified, me answering the door!” he shouts back into the living room, making you let out a little laugh as he guides you through, you see two other men sat on the sofa, both turning their heads at the same time to see you, making you smile awkwardly and wave.

“I didn’t think she was a girl! I thought she was like a gay guy? Anyways, come sit down, my name’s Chris” the shorter of the two men stand up from the sofa, leading you to a seperate chair in front of them, shaking your hand.

“Ah, nice to meet you Chris” you say shaking his hand, laughing a bit as you see the femininity in him slightly, His blonde hair quite obviously permed while he sported a red Christmas jumper, holding a mug of tea in his hand before placing it down carefully on a placemat on the coffee table. He quickly rushed to lick his lip as he realised he had tea in his light moustache, the overall light stubble complimenting a seemingly babyish face.

You sit down opposite the three boys as another one begins to talk, the one who met you at the door. You now noticed that he had a few tattoos on show, jotting down in your mind to bring them up later. He had brunette hair that lay lazily over his forehead, not quite messy though, as well as a small 80’s style moustache above his lip. His style was different to the other two, the only way to describe it is a grandad but if they were stylish? It complimented his soft demeanour perfectly.

“I’m Arthur, it’s lovely to meet you, what’s your name again?” You tell him your name as he shakes your hand too, his grip a bit softer and less anxious than Chris’, the small difference showing that arthur definitely spent more time with female friends that Chris did, making you smile more genuinely at him, immediately feeling a sense of security with him.

The man in the middle of Chris and Arthur sat scrolling through his phone, not seeming particularly interested in you being there. Arthur hit him with his elbow, making him switch off his phone and place it in his lap, reaching his hand out, as you take it the same as you did the other two.

You noticed straight away that as much as all three of the men in front of you were good looking, the one in the middle was both taller and more stereotypically attractive than the other two. His hair was carefully styled, and as he turned his head you noticed what seemed to be a growing mullet, catching your eye as his hair was slightly lighter than Arthur’s. Unlike Chris and Arthur, his beard was more full on rather than a moustache or a light stubble, complimenting his style as he wore a pair of oversized jeans with a blue and black sweater.

“I’m George, it’s nice to meet you” his face finally cracks and he lets a large smile set on his face, showing you that he kept the serious face on because of skepticism, of your character and of your demeanour.

Arthur clears his throat as you all lean back in your seats, whipping out his phone as he scrolls through then looks up at you, asking you a question.

“So, what do you do as a job?”

You think for a moment, wondering what you should say, then reminding yourself that these boys are also influencers. You begin to talk as George cuts you off, almost definitely accidentally.

“She’s a TikToker and she’s getting more popular on YouTube too, I’ve seen so much of your stuff, you’re hilarious”. He slightly rambles as he says so, a smile on his face as he leans forward, clearly interested in the conversation.

You laugh as Arthur looks at you, as if to look for confirmation, you nod your head as you thank George, happy that he seems to like you.

Many questions later, laughter and a comfortable atmosphere fills the room as the boys in front of you quickly say that they need to move into another room “for deliberation” as Chris put it. After a minute of hushed whispering in the hallway, they walk back in one by one, sitting down in front of you.

“You’re in” Arthur smiles at you.

“I swear you won’t regret this.” You blurt out with a happy smile on your face. This was new to you, but exciting.

~~~~~~

A/n- Hi guys! I’m hoping this will be a long series? Not all as long as this maybe, I took majority of the idea from new girl but I swear I’ll change it mostly, just the basis of the idea as I love the show and see the boys in each of the characters! Let me know if you like it please, love you all xx

A/n again sorry- who wants to be on the tag list for this????

#george clarkey #george clarke x reader #uk youtubers #arthur hill #arthur frederick #italianbach #chrismd

278 notes · View notes

thecordelialetters · 1 year ago

Text

She's my Angel: Meet the Family Pt.2 I Five Hargreeves x Reader

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚

Post Apocalypse Au! pt.1 Pt2 Pt3

WC: ~2,709

Warnings/Tags: fluff, Allusions to sex, Mentions of Abuse, Agedup!Five, Mentions of previous trauma

Summary: The Umbrella Academy saved the world, the Commission is no longer after them, the moon is in one piece and everyone’s lives start to fall back into place. Five attempts to start his life over again when Klaus brings home a girl with unusual shadow powers.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡

Five and you had fallen into a comfortable rhythm that one would think the two of you had known each other for years. You started sleeping in the same bed together, getting ready together, eating together, and spending time together. Your routine had started to fall into place.

Somedays Five would ask you to show him your abilities. He was always astounded at how powerful you were. You could use shadows to teleport, physically manifest, store objects, and create weapons. To the regular person, or to anyone like his deceased father, these powers would intimidate them, scare them. But Five wasn’t scared of you,. Slowly you had become his Angel. Five found comfort in you, someone who would stick with him while his family scattered after his sacrifices.

“Come on Angel, I’m taking you out today.”

“Out?” You tilted your head.

“Yes like…a date” he blushed. He was wearing a white button-up shirt and black slacks, the shirt was pressed clean with no wrinkles, and the top 3 buttons were undone.

“Go put on your prettiest dress and some nice shoes.” He kissed the top of your head and watched you run off. Anyone who could see the two of you could see his adoration for you. You lived up to your nickname being a small beacon of light in his dark mind.

Despite your growing "relationship" Five still had his worries. It had been 2 weeks since he met you and he wasn’t any closer to finding who had taken you or figuring out your true identity. He had only know a few things from what you told him.

You had grown up in a lab isolated from everyone. The only way of understanding the outside world was through tv and books that a kind doctor had let you before he met an unfortunate end, not that you knew about that. He also learned about the environment you grew up in by your reactions. You hated loud noises, didn’t understand cultural norms, and feared violence and abuse. Knowing this, Five learned to adjust to your needs. He wanted to take care of you and help you. You had become his new family. Maybe it was obsession but it was feeling like love.

You came bouncing down the steps of the academy in a light blue dress with puffy sleeves and a soft ballerina like skirt. The neckline was square and above your cleavage was a gold heart necklace that Five had bought you on your last outing to the mall.

“Beautiful?” You looked at him and twirled.

“Very beautiful amore.” He kissed your cheek and led you out. As the two of you were about to leave the door opened revealing Viktor.

Viktor was in town having just gotten back from a trip to Italy and decided to stop by the academy.

“Oh Five! Who’s this? I came to check on you since you didn’t answer any of my calls.”

Oops well he wasn’t wrong. Five had ignored all Vitkors calls. It wasn’t out of spite it just felt like every-time he talked to his family he had to put on a front. He didn’t need therapy, didn’t want help, and was fine without them. But talking to them felt almost condescending and a very small part of him still harbored a grudge for them all leaving.

“Uh this is Angel. Klaus brought here and left her here so I’ve been taking care of her. We were just about to go out.”

“Angel!” You pointed to yourself.

“Viktor… Five’s family?”

Five sighed when he looked at you. So innocent , unaware to the trauma in his heart. “Yes this is my brother.”

“Brother.” You tested the word out loud.

“Brother!” You pointed to Five.

“No no not I’m not your brother.” Five shot down. He could see the tears in your eyes forming. “I’m sorry Angel, yes we are… family but I am not your brother okay? I’m your friend.”

Your eyes lit up at that notion. You were aware of what friendship was, there was a nice doctor in the facility who had befriended you and taught you all you knew about human interaction until… he met an unfortunate end, not that you knew about that though.

You jumped into Five wrapping your arms around his neck and burrowing your face in his shoulder.

Brown eyes made contact with green and Five felt uneasy in his brother's judgmental gaze. Before Viktor could get out another word Five blinked the two of you to the car. Standing in the doorway Viktor turned to look back at you guys. He was happy his brother had found someone, but you seemed off. He walked into the parlor and whipped out his phone to send a text to the family group chat. Viktor: Did you know Five got a girlfriend? He said Klaus brought her one day and left her. They just went out all dressed up. Allison: No way Diego: Finally that old timer can get some Lila: Who would let that little gremlin near them? Viktor: @Klaus how did you meet Angel. Klaus: On the street. Everyone mentally cringed at the thought of Klaus picking up a girl "off the street" Klaus: She ran into me and was in bad shape, She's super cute though! I knew she and little Five would get along, I'm going to go visit them tonight. Allison: I want to see her! Im coming too Diego: Me and Lila are coming too. Luther: I guess I'm coming as well. Viktor closed out his phone and began walking around the academy. It hadn't been too long since the world was almost destroyed but this place was riddled with mixed memories of sadness but also happiness in which he and his family had finally come together.

His eyes ran over the painting of Five above the mantle. Over his travels, he often thought about Five, but not at first. Initially, he was overjoyed with traveling, meeting people, and developing a few relationships, but his thoughts began to wander back to Five. The boy who had leaped across time, and had worked his ass off to get back to his family only for them to all leave again. It made him feel guilty every time he talked to Five over the phone only to get short responses. His thoughts went back to reminiscing. Five and Vitkor were closest when they were younger, Viktor even remembers the small crush he had on the boy as a kid. Five was cocky, arrogant, and thought to be better than everyone. But the way he looked at Angel had a softness that could rival a field of flowers. The fact he had let her touch him had given Viktor enough information to assume that you had helped Five for the better. ————————-On your date———————— Five had taken you first to a cute little dinner a bit out of the city. You two sat in a booth on the same side. He was a little confused when you sat next to him but decided against saying anything when you grabbed his hand under the table. The waiter came to take your orders, his name was Alek. He looked at you mostly with a predatory glint in his eyes. "What can I get for the pretty lady here?" He winked at you. You laughed and blushed before saying "Pasta!" Pasta was a favorite of yours. Five and you had made pasta together from scratch one night and it was one of your favorite moments with him. You remembered making the sauce together, him flicking some onto your face before kissing it off with his lips. He had looked so good kneading the dough and showing you how to make the sauce and noodles. It ended happily with you in his bed. Five also knew this was your favorite dish and why. It only made his heart beat for you more. Breaking the waiter's attention off you Five stood up and pushed Aleks chest back. "And I'll have the steak, rare I like it a little bloody, and bring us back a milkshake to share, strawberry." Five sat back while glaring at the waiter. Who did this guy even think he was anyway, he literally saw Five walk in with you. Before he could think anything else, his attention was pulled away when your hand traced his jaw.

"Prickly. Ouch." You ran your finger back and forth over his cheek. Five had been growing some facial hair recently.

"What princess? You don't like?" Five rubbed his face against yours while listening to the melodic laughter erupt from your lips. Alek came back with your meals and milkshake avoiding eye contact with you and Five. Excited for your food you kissed Five's cheek as a way to thank him. The two of you ate your food in comfortable silence and shared the milkshake, occasionally laughing when both of you reached for the straw at the same time.

————————-After your date————————

You and Five had left the dinner with full bellies and even fuller hearts. Hand in hand he led you to the street. "let's talk a walk, we need to digest all that food and I know a park nearby that you'll enjoy." "Okay!" you agreed. You had begun to trust Five with... everything in this short time. He cared for you and showed you how to cook, clean, and use a phone. You were growing to love him, not that you knew what love was. As the two of you came closer to the park your eyes lit up seeing the families and children running around and enjoying the warm summer day. Your expression made Five's heart beat faster. Your innocence and kindness were a nice contrast to his years of killings and suffering. Five led the two of you to a bench that looked out to the grassy playground. You leaned your head on his shoulder and let out a sign. You finally felt at peace. No electric chair, no pointy syringes, just the warmth of Five's hand in yours and the smell of his cologne. Five looked down at you staring out into the park. He felt lucky, how could someone like you just fall into his lap when he needed it most. A thought crossed his mind, what would happen if you remembered who you were, would you leave him? The last time he was in a relationship was with a mannequin. But this was different, you needed him just as much as he needed you. He pushed those thoughts aside when he watched your eyes close. He nudged your side "Come on Angel its been a long day lets get you home." Lazily you both stood up and walked back to the car not dare letting go of each others hands.

————————-At the Academy————————

Five was on high alert as the two of you arrived back at the Academy. The lights were on in the den and he could hear hushed voices as he approached. Opening the door he was met with 3 people, backs turned towards him. He instantly recognized these figures as his siblings, Diego, Luther, and Allison. Peaking around them he saw three more, Viktor, Klaus, and Lila. "Well, this is an unexpected visit," Five stated breaking the uncomfortable silence. The trio looked at each other before Allison spoke up. "We wanted to check up on you, we haven't heard from you in a while." She looked at you behind Five, "Is this uh your girlfriend?" Five's eyes narrowed at Viktor in the corner before sighing. "She's not my girlfriend, this is Angel, I've been taking care of her since Klaus brought her here."

"I'm not Five's friend." You looked up at him, tears forming in your eyes. "No, shit I'm sorry Angel, yes you are my friend you are more than my friend." His expression softened when you wrapped his arms around his neck once again to kiss his cheek. The rest of the superpowered bunch looked in awe. Their normally cocky and arrogant brother hadn't snapped at you or yelled at you. He was gentle and reassuring. Lila was the one to speak up next to Viktor "Wow the old man finally found someone." Ignoring Lila's statement Allison continued, "Wait Klaus brought her here?" Klaus surprisingly not sober, stood up. "Yeah she ran into me all banged up so I brought her to the one place I knew could fix her up. She's got powers like us!" The family turned to you and Five once more expecting you to demonstrate. Hesitating Five looked at you "Okay Angel, show them what we have been practicing." You nodded to Five before raising your hands. In an instant, shadows rose from the ground to the ceiling of the room, suffocating any light that had been previously there. Your hands swirled causing the shadows to form a vortex. You thew your fists down bringing the shadows to your side. One arm lifted up across your chest as you threw it to the opposite area, effectively slicing a potted plant in half. Your eyes glistened with pride as you looked to Five. "I did it!" You jumped into his open arms as Five twirled you around with joy. "I knew you could do it princess!" Luther who was silent in the beginning spoke up next. "So you just found her on the street and she has powers? We don't even know her she could be dangerous then! She could be Commission!" Being number one and the head of the family was difficult for Luther. He was always overprotective of his siblings and made hasty rash decisions believing that he knew what was best for everyone. But Five remembers what happened when Viktor was discovered to have powers and he was hell-bent on not repeating it again. Five paused before turning to you and blinking you upstairs. He had tucked you in and helped you into bed before kissing the corner of your lips. "Good night darling, let me talk to my family for a bit, and I'll join you okay?" "Okay Five, good night" And with one last glance at you he blinked back downstairs. "Trust me Luther I would know if she was commission or not, when she got here she could barely talk and didn't even know her own name!" "I've spent the last 2 weeks trying to figure out where she came from. All I know is that she was brought up in a lab that focused on human experimentation to try to recreate the original 43." "You can't...You honestly can't possibly imagine, the pain she has gone through. And let's not forget what happened the last time you tried to "help" a person who had just gained their powers." Five looked over at Viktor. Viktor couldn't help but look at his lap. "Five is right, let's give her a chance. She is obviously doing well under Five's care and he cares for her back." Five looked appreciative at Viktor although he was the one who originally ratted him and you to the family. "I know you guys haven't heard from me in a while, but trust me I'm doing fine. Let's... go out for breakfast tomorrow. I know a place that we all would like. Meet back here at 9am. I'm going to check on Angel and head to bed." And with that, he disappeared in a flash of blue. The Hagreeves siblings looked at each other in shock. Never had their brother been the first to reach out to spend time, it must be important to him. Diego walked towards and grabbed Lila's hand "Well I'm happy for the guy, it was about time he got some. See you all tomorrow." He waved to his siblings and headed out. The others slowly followed suit each one of them that night laid in bed thinking about the events that had transpired and mentally prepared for a family breakfast the next day.

⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧｡⋆⋆｡‧˚

Author's note: I had actually finished this before Tumblr decided to not save anything and I lost half the story T-T I was really good too. I tried to rewrite it the best I could.

Author's note: 9/14 part 3 is on its way ! Taglist: @groovydazephantom

#five x reader #five hargeeves x reader #five hargreeves x you #tua five #tua #the umbrella academy #tua x reader #number five #five hargreaves #five hargreeves #aidan gallagher #tua fanfic #umbrella acedmy #five x you #five x y/n

663 notes · View notes

katiascraft · 7 months ago

Text

“am I too much for you? maybe I’m too much for everyone” | CL16

parings: Charles Leclerc x insecure!reader

summary: you feel insecure and you’re struggling but Charles makes sure you know how important you are to the world (specially his world).

now playing: “If I weren’t me” by Katherine Li

warnings: not English native speaker could there be errors. None proofread. Talk about sadness and destructive inner talk. Insecure reader. Readers pov’s.

words: +1,5k words.

a/n: heyyyy I am back!!! I disappeared for a year 💀 consistency it’s not my thing I guess. I’m finally finishing university this year!! So I guess I’ll have more time to write. Hope you like it! First on Charles. New obsession: F1 drivers. Get ready I got plenty more on my plans :p. Remember to like or reblog! And follow me so we can be friends :3

MASTERLIST

The piano tiles made the sound of the soundtrack of my sadness in this moment. My fingers touched them softly like they were fragile - like me.

Today was a nightmare from the start. Since I woke up I had a knot in my stomach that became bigger and bigger as the time passed through my routine. Sometimes itʼs really hard for me to do daily tasks such as cleaning or even eating. And it was harder if I need to go to events or meetings.

I have episodes of deep sadness Iʼve been treating on therapy. Sometimes I just canʼt control it. Today was one of those days where black and grey took over everything I felt and did. One way I found by being suggested by my therapist was writing down every thought of pain to find kind of a relief. Today itʼs really hard. Iʼm struggling really hard.

Iʼve been alone the whole day. Charles had to go to the Ferrari factory and do his driver tasks as usual. When I woke up he was gone. And maybe that contributed even more to my desperate and pathetic situation. Though I shouldnʼt talk about it like that and be more gentle with myself. It always felt to me negativity has always been my best friend and worst enemy at the same time.

Playing piano helped me so much. Write a song about my pain. Try to give a little light to all of this mess I find myself emerged in. Itʼs really hard for me to open up and seek help when I need it. Specially when it comes to Charles. I donʼt wanna be a burden to him. And I donʼt wanna stress him out with all of my dark side. I always try to brush it off when heʼs around. Most times I just pretend Iʼm happy and everything itʼs alright. As if I wasnʼt feeling too much for him. Or too less. Like Iʼm not worth of his love. Of his attention. Of his smiles. Of everything he did for me.

The fact that Charles asked me out had me shocked. Iʼve never felt like I could compete with all the models and influencers and singers and every really beautiful girl in this world. Iʼve never felt beautiful nor attractive. Yes Iʼm pretty good making jokes. And I talk too much. But Iʼve always felt I cringed people out. Dating people wasnʼt a thing I was really good at. Actually I sucked. And I think I still do. Always overthinking and second guessing every move. Every promise. Everything.

Charles was so sweet to me. He said “youʼre beautiful. Iʼm sure people tell you all the time. But you really areˮ. I couldnʼt help but get really nervous and blush. The most beautiful man Iʼve ever seen was talking to me and saying all of that. I blinked a couple of times. My smile huge. I just laughed softly trying to brush it off.

Since then we became a team. Inseparable. Charles became my best friend. My rock. I donʼt know what I ever did to deserve his love. The way he loved me was so gentle. So caring and loving. At first was hard because his love language was physical touch and that was something I wasnʼt used to. But little by little I got used to and felt amazing. Iʼve never felt so comfortable with anyone but him.

I hate my body. I feel ashamed of my personality. Most times I feel so dumb. So stupid.

I didnʼt realized I was already crying when I felt my tears dropping in my hands on the piano. I didnʼt realized I kept playing in auto-mode. When I was conscious again I started crying badly. I started shaking. I felt so bad. So guilty for even feeling this way. I didnʼt realized Charles have arrived home when I felt his deep voice from behind.

“Baby... whatʼs wrong? Youʼve been crying for a whileˮ I heard his voice and that sent shivers down my spine. I try to hold it together because I feel so embarrassed heʼs seeing me like this.

He sat next to me and hugged me. I hid my face on his neck feeling contempt. Thing is I started crying worse. I couldnʼt control it once it took on me.

“Itʼs okay baby. Itʼs okay.ˮ He whispered on my head while he stroke my hair and my arm pulling me closer. I thanked him mentally for this. I never thought I needed it so much.

Took a while until I calmed myself in his body. I part from him slowly and whipped my face with my hands. After I did he did the same. He whipped my tears so gently. He did the same looking me with bright eyes. Worry was all over his face. I licked my lips. “Iʼm sorry.ˮ I said quietly almost a whisper.

He denided with his head taking my head into his hands and stroked it softly.

“donʼt be sorry baby. Iʼm worried. Whatʼs wrong? Iʼm sorry I wasnʼt home to be with you. Why didnʼt you called me?ˮ I could feel the worry in his voice deep and cracking.

“I didnʼt want to bother to be honest. Itʼs one of those days. A really hard dayˮ my tears wanted to go out again but I holded them.

I saw his eyes turned into a sad look. He leaned on me and kissed my cheek to hugged me strongly in his arms afterwards. I buried my head in his shoulder. His smell calmed me down. I holded him pretty close to me. Strongly as him. I didnʼt want to let go.

“do you wanna talk about what you are feeling love?ˮ He whispered softly. I swallowed hard and pulled away from his so I could look into his beautiful eyes. I loved his eyes. So bright so blue sometimes. To me they felt like staring at the ocean. I stroked his face gently. He grabbed my legs on the little couch in front of the piano it our living room.

“This is one of those days where I donʼt feel enough or maybe too much to handle... all of this darkness in me that sometimes I just canʼt control it. You deserve someone confident and happy just like youˮ I told him softly and honestly. And it felt good to take it out of me for finally. I wanted to cry again but I was making my best efforts to keep it together.

“Cher... you are more than enough for me. You are the most beautiful soul Iʼve ever met. The most beautiful woman Iʼve ever seen. You are the sweetest most caring and fun person. Always there for people. You have the brightest personality. Every time you enter a room you shine. Everyone smiles. To me youʼre happiness though I know that isnʼt the whole you. Youʼre human baby. You are allowed to feel. And to not be okay. And to be okay too. You are not a burden for me. Youʼre my best friend. Mon amour. My future wife. The one whoʼs always there for me. My shoulder to cry on. The one with the greatest jokes. The life of every party I assist. You give a meaning to my life. A reason to live. You are a great daughter. The best friend someone could ask for. The greatest sister. You are a light for every single person that knows you y/n. Donʼt ever feel that you are too much to handle. And I really wanna go and kill the people who made you ever feel you were, I sware. You are amazing baby.ˮ While he was talking you couldnʼt hold it together. You just started crying. He let you do it while he whipped your tears lovingly. He seeing you like this broke his heart. You didnʼt deserve to feel like this. And he wished he could take away all of your pain. That you could see yourself the way he sees you. And feel how happy and enamoured you made him feel. “You can talk to me every time you need itˮ he continued. “you can trust me and we can figure it out together. You donʼt have to go through it alone. Okay? I love you with everything I am y/n. If I could I would take all of this pain away and just make you feel how I feel about you. I promise to me youʼre even better than Carlosˮ he said lastly jokingly making me laugh through my crying.

Now he had a huge smile on his face knowing he could make you feel better. I gave him a peck on his lips as a thank you and as an I love you.

“I donʼt know what I would do without you Charles...ˮ I said sincerely and full of love in between the lines. He gave another kiss back but now it was deeper in feelings. We kissed for a while and it felt that as the kiss continued my pain was going away feeling better every second. After the kissed I hugged him tightly. He gave kisses to my neck making me giggle a little. “I love you Charlie. Youʼre my angelˮ I whispered on his shoulder and he tightened the hug in response.

“And you are mine chérie“ he said burying his face on my shoulder.

——————————————————————————————

Charlie won COTA 🥹.

Hope you liked it 💌 if you have ideas my inbox is open for requests!

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #Charles leclerc x y/n #charles leclerc x female reader #charles leclerc x female oc #f1 #f1 drivers #f1 fanfic #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #f1 x you #ferrari

235 notes · View notes

wandaspup · 2 months ago

Text

his loss

– pairing | wanda x kid/daughter reader

– synopsis | you're wandas kid/daughter from a previous relationship. today you can't help but wonder why you weren't enough for your father to stay. mama wanda comes to the rescue.

– warnings | depression, self harm (nothing too graphic), blood, hateful thoughts, fluff

– word count | 855

– you're not alone. if you ever need to talk, my dm's and asks are open. you're more than enough.

You know those days where you feel really good, life is great and you’re on top of the world and then suddenly it hits you that it was too good to be true and everything falls apart? This is how you’re feeling these past few weeks. Depression consumes your entire being, it hits when you least expect it.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

You have been clean for 11 months. You had ups and downs but you stayed strong for the sake of your mom. She’s your best friend and your everything. She found out you were hurting yourself when you were only 13. She was devastated but after a lot of talk, you both decided it was best for you to go to therapy, and you have been going ever since.

Tonight your mom was out doing grocery shopping, meaning you were alone in the house just waiting for her to come back. You looked at the calendar and noticed that today, a few years back, you had seen your father for the last time. You were little, you could barely remember him at all, but deep inside you missed him, you longed for a connection with him. It hurt when you saw other kids growing up with their dads around, you wished you were in their place. Not that you didn’t love your mom, it’s the complete opposite; you just couldn’t understand why you still felt this way towards him after so many years.

You were starting to feel a little anxious, thinking why he left you. Did he ever want you? Weren’t you good enough for him? Were you a mistake? Every bad thought that could possibly exist was running through your head. You needed a relief. You knew your mom would get mad but that’s the least of your worries right now.

You went to the bathroom and started looking for the little hidden place where you keep your blade. You didn’t care about the pain or the mess you were doing; you just wanted relief. The physical pain couldn’t even compare to the mental turmoil you experience every day.

It was like time stopped. You heard a knock on your door, pulling you out of your trance and making you panic. You didn’t have the energy to even try and clean everything up, you just stayed on the floor, waiting for your mom to find you in that state. “I’m in the bathroom, mama!” You yelled, hoping she would hear it, you didn’t want to delay the inevitable.

Wanda enters the bathroom and her smile fades, you can see the tears in her eyes making you feel worse than you already are. “I-I’m sorry mama. I t-tried, I really did.” You started sobbing and Wanda didn’t hesitate to run to your aid. “Shh, I know baby. I know, it’s okay.” She whispers while pulling you into her lap, cradling you like a baby. She was talking but you were too focused on the way she was brushing your hair and the way she was rubbing your back in a soothing manner to even pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth.

“Y-You’re not mad?” You asked, you were sure she was. “Of course not, my love. You are so strong. I know you tried and that’s all that matters. Healing isn’t linear and that’s okay. We all have our days and I know how today affects you, I should have been more attentive. I’m sorry that I was gone for too long.” She kisses the top of your head and squeezes you lovingly.

“You can always count on me, okay? I want you to know that you have a friend in me. I’m your mother and your best friend for life.” She cups your face and rubs your cheeks softly. “I’m so proud of you, baby. Relapsing is part of the process of recovery, and you will have these kinds of days, but the important thing is that you understand that you’re not alone, alright? You’re the best person I have ever known my entire life. I know that you miss him, but he doesn’t deserve you at all. It’s his loss, not yours.”

You smile amidst tears, you genuinely couldn’t have asked for a better mother. She knows you inside and out and she really is your best friend. “T-Thank you mama. You really are the best mother in the world.” Wanda couldn’t help but smile as well, scrunching her nose and rubbing it on yours. “You are my everything, my sweet girl. Now, how about I help you clean yourself up, change into pj’s and maybe order some pizza to watch a movie?” You nod, just wanting to be near your mother.

“No need to thank me, sweetheart. I will always do my best to protect you and make sure that you’re safe and okay. I’m so proud of being your mom, you have no idea. We are together in this, alright? Always and forever.” She says while lifting her pinky finger up, smiling.

You smile back and link your finger with hers, mumbling. “Always and forever, mom.”

#– vex writes #marvel wlw #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff x kid reader #wanda maximoff x daughter reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff #wanda marvel #wanda mcu #wanda maximov #wanda x reader #mommy wanda #wanda x you #wanda x y/n

82 notes · View notes

liberty-barnes · 2 months ago

Text

if there was no end

Arthur Leclerc x Female!Reader

Summary: Grieving someone who is not yet death was a special kind of suffering. One that Arthur wouldn't have wished on anyone, but especially not her.

Warnings: heavy heavy angst, mentions of dementia and the future death of a family member, mentions of Hervé's death, grief-induced mental breakdown, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2k words

Estimated Reading Time: 8 minutes

A/N: fun fact this is actually a true story that is currently happening to me but the difference is that mid mental breakdown I just thought "oh wait this would be an awesome fic" and then this was born. coping through writing iktr (i'm fine promise, therapy's great y'all), anyways hope you enjoy

in happier news, i have officially started writing part 2 to you will not always want to shatter so keep an eye out for that everyone!

Masterlists | Formula One RI Masterlist | Taglist

None of it would be so sweet Or so important If there was no end. (Liam Xavier, Welcome to Hell and Other Poems About Adulthood)

Arthur opened the door to their flat and immediately knew something was wrong.

Her keys were in the shell-shaped bowl by the entryway, her shoes neatly lined up on the rack, and her coat hung in its rightful place. So she was home.

But the flat was silent.

No singing along to whatever songs she had on repeat, no voices from a movie or show she’d decided to watch, not even the sound of the shower running.

Just silence.

He toed off his shoes, hung up his coat, and made his way through the apartment. The living room was silent, as were the kitchen and the terrace. The spare room, converted half into her personal library and half into Arthur’s practice room for the piano, showed no signs of life. It was worse than he thought, then. The only time you could find (Y/n) silent in their bedroom in the middle of the day was when she was sick, or…

“Mon ange?”

He knocked on the half-open door, coming in slowly. She hummed absent-mindedly, eyes fixated on a card in her hands, dried tear tracks staining her cheeks. She was sat in the middle of the bed, face so void of emotion, you’d wonder if she’d ever even had any.

“Hey, baby…”

She hummed again, but he could tell she wasn’t really present. He slowly sat down on the bed next to her, legs crossed just like hers until his right knee and arm were touching her left ones.

“What’s wrong?”

She kept looking at the card in her hand. It had a little Christmas tree on it. There were dozens of others spread out on the bed, all with various designs and motifs.

“Did you know I was the first grandchild to be born on my dad’s side?”

Her voice was scratchy, but it never wavered.

“My grandmother and her older sister lived in houses next to each other. I never made the distinction between the two. It wasn’t Grandma’s house and Aunt Grace’s house. It was Grandma and Auntie’s house. For ten years, I was the only grandchild. And Aunt Grace always treated me like I was a blessing.”

He could see her eyes were starting to get red, and he sighed internally. This was going to be a bad one. Because it just hit for her.

Six months ago, her Aunt Grace had been diagnosed with dementia. Arthur was there when she learned the news. He was prepared for screaming, and crying, and having to hold her broken pieces together with his bare arms.

But all she did was smile and say, “it’s alright, no one lives forever, this was bound to happen at some point”.

Arthur had been waiting for the fallout ever since.

“After we moved to Monaco, she’d send me cards every year. For my birthday, Christmas, Easter, International Children’s Day… I was a kid but I knew I wanted to keep them all. And I did.”

He looked at the cards spread out in front of her.

“I called Grandma today to see if I could say hi to Auntie… See how she’s doing. I guess I must have caught her during a bad day cause… It took almost half an hour of us talking for her to remember me. I get it, you know? I’m far away, she doesn’t see me very often, her health’s deteriorating… of course it’s gonna get harder and harder to remember me but… It’s only ever taken a few minutes. It never took this long.”

She fiddled with the card in her hands, eyes full of tears.

“So, I thought… Since I was missing her, I could re-read the cards she sent me over the years. I mean sure, the last one she sent me was when I was fifteen and that was seven years ago, but… Still.”

She sniffed, voice starting to crack now.

“So I read them and… I forgot how she used to sign them… Every time, without fail…”

She opened the card and at the bottom were the nine words that made Arthur draw in a sharp breath.

“Love from your Aunt Grace, who never forgets you. I forgot she used to do this. It started off as a joke cause I was a five-year-old kid who was worried my aunt would forget to wish me happy birthday cause I was moving to a new country. But she kept doing it. Kept reminding me that no matter the distance, she’d always be there for me. Love from your Aunt Grace, who never forgets you.”

Her breath hitched as the first tear started to fall.

“What kind of— fucking sick and twisted— awful, awful shit— some kind of cosmic joke?”

She hiccuped her way through half-formed sentences, trying and failing to voice out what was in her head, and he just pulled her to him. He tucked her head into his chest, arms coming around her shoulder, one hand still firmly in the back of her hair.

“It’s alright, mon coeur, just let it all out.”

He’d heard her cry before, of course. (Y/n) was an emotional person, she cried at everything: movies, songs, those cheesy Christmas commercials. He was used to seeing her cry, to comforting her through it.

Never like this, though. Never these full-body sobs, or hiccuping, half-choked-off screams. Never felt her clutch at him with the full force of her body, like she was worried he’d disappear, knuckles turning white and nails digging into his flesh. Never felt her cry for ten, twenty, thirty minutes, until her body exhausted itself and she just fell asleep.

She was limp in his arms now, breaths still coming out unevenly, tears leaking out of her eyes for minutes more, still.

Arthur didn’t know what to do. What do you say to a person going through something like that? What can you say?

“Her suffering will end soon”? “At least she lived a full life”? “She doesn’t have to remember you to love you”?

What bullshit.

He didn’t know what to say. He was pretty sure (Y/n) didn’t even know what she wanted to hear. All he could do was hold her as she slept, wipe away her tears, and make sure she knew how much he loved her.

He laid her down on the bed, covered her up so she wouldn’t be cold, and put the letters on her nightstand.

He might not know what to say, but he could at least make her some soup for when she woke up.

—

“Thur?”

It was well past sunset when she came into the kitchen, dressed in his favourite hoodie and wearing her comfortable fuzzy pants. Her face was still puffy from all the crying, and her eyes had that vacant look in them, but she was there.

“Hey, mon ange, how are you feeling?”

She shrugged, staring at the pot he was stirring.

“What are you making?”

He turned off the hob and took out two bowls.

“Chicken noodle soup. Figured we could eat this while watching a Barbie movie, something to make you feel better.”

She nodded.

“Wanna get settled on the couch and put on the movie?”

She nodded again, still a bit absent, and he took the toasted garlic bread slices out of the oven. He put everything on the tray along with some chilled water, and made his way to the living room, where Barbie of Swan Lake was just beginning.

It took her the entirety of the movie to finish her food, but Arthur was just glad she did. She didn’t like to eat when she was sad, said it made her feel weird, so this was quite the accomplishment.

Neither of them moved, even as the end credits ran. He just sat there, holding her, as she stared blankly at the screen.

“Do you want me to get you a flight home?”

She straightened up.

“What?”

“To see your aunt, spend some time with her.”

She shook her head.

“No, no… I have uni, and my job, I can’t just leave.”

He kept his eyes on her.

“No one would fault you for taking a semester off. And I have more than enough money that your job shouldn’t be a concern, not when it’s about something like this.”

She sighed, coming back down to lay in his arms. He held her tightly, running his fingers through her hair.

“There’s a part of me that wants to, you know. But she’s only getting worse. Grandma said she spends most of her time just looking outside or completely zoned out, with only a few hours where she acts more or less normally. It’s like she’s there but at the same time…not.

“As much as I want to spend all my time with her, I don’t want to remember her as a barely functioning human. I want to keep the good memories. And I know she’d never forgive me if she knew I was neglecting my studies because of her.”

She paused, but he didn’t speak, knowing more was coming.

“I feel like a horrible person, though. And selfish. Like, she’s dying and I’m pissed at her for forgetting me. And my whole family’s pitching in to keep her company but I don’t wanna see her outside of facetimes on her good hours cause I don’t want that image of her to overtake the good memories. She’s always been such a beacon of light and happiness, and now I can’t bring myself to be around her when she’s weak. I’m a horrible person.”

He shook his head and tightened his hold on her.

“No, you’re not.”

“I am, though. I’m supposed to be helping her. To call every day, regardless of her mood so I can still see her.”

He sighed.

“Baby… Look, I know you feel guilty, but you can’t sacrifice your own mental health for anyone. Not even her.”

He felt her tears start to dampen her shirt, and simply held her tighter.

“I just… I don’t know how to deal with this. I knew she’d be gone eventually but I never thought she’d go so soon, let alone like this…”

Arthur couldn’t help but think back to his father. He never wanted anyone else to have to go through what he did, mourning someone who wasn’t yet gone, let alone her.

“Have you thought about therapy? Or, well, grief counselling?”

She didn’t answer.

“I went to it about three months into Papa’s diagnosis. Kept going for a few years after. I still have Dr Claire’s number.”

There was a long pause in which he didn’t dare speak. He just stared at the pendulum wall clock (Y/n) found at a flea market when they first moved in, watching the brass circle go back and forth.

“Did it help?”

She sounded hesitant, quiet. So unlike herself.

“It did. She’s great, honestly, helped me understand a bunch of things and deal with the pain of losing my father, the drawn-out mourning of someone who wasn’t even gone yet. The weekly sessions were a big help.”

She was silent for a little while longer.

“Okay…”

—

She was staring at the pale yellow house like it would eat her alive. The whole drive there, she hadn’t stopped fidgeting.

“Hey, bébé…”

He squeezed her hand to get her attention, and she turned her frightened eyes back to him.

“I’m proud of you. It’s hard to ask for help, and I’m so so proud you did. I’ll be waiting for you right here, and we can go get ice cream right after the session, okay?”

She bit her lips nervously.

“Promise?”

“Promise. Je t’aime.”

She leaned in for a kiss and he felt her relax the longer it went on.

“I love you too.”

And as he saw her enter Dr Claire’s office, he could only hope the pain would become more manageable. But either way, he’d be there for her. No matter what.

before i sign off, i just wanted to say that if you're going through something like this, or if you're in a bad spot and you just wanna talk, my asks and dms are always open for you guys. anyway that's enough feelings out of me for today.

don't forget to comment and reblog, and keep your eye out for more stuff coming soon!

-Love, Miah <3

Formula One RI Taglist

@aykxz98

#arthur leclerc #arthur leclerc x reader #arthur leclerc imagine #formula one imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #if there was no end

102 notes · View notes

dreamingkitsunewrites · 2 months ago

Text

.𖥔 ݁ ˖.𝐇αᥣᥣ𝖾𝗒'𝗌 𝐂ⱺꭑ𝖾𝗍.𖥔 ݁ ˖

Chapter 2 from ₊ Qʊɛɛռ օʄ ȶɦɛ Nɨɢɦȶ Series

-☄"Midnight for me is 3:00 a.m. (for you)"☄-

ραιяιηg: Neighbor!Choso Kamo x Bartender!Reader

𝖲ɣ𐓣: you come home at 3am from your shift at the club just to find your cold neighbour Choso awake and waiting for you to come home safely.

𝐂ɦ𝖾𝖼𝗄 ⱺυ𝗍 𝗍ɦ𝖾 𝚰𐓣ᑯ𝖾𝗑 ρα𝗀𝖾 𝖿ⱺ𝗋 𝗍ɦ𝖾 𝖿υᥣᥣ 𝐓𝐖 ᥣ𝗂𝗌𝗍

A/N: hey guys I'm finally back... This is my first fic in a long time, so sorry if this chapter might seem a bit boring... I swear, it's all for the sake of the slow burn!🤣

Series Tag list: Open!

𝙿𝚛𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 | 𝙽𝚎𝚡𝚝 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬-𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

⏭ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ sᴏᴜɴᴅᴛʀᴀᴄᴋ: нαℓℓєу'ѕ ¢σмєт by вιℓℓιє єιℓιѕн

Choso's POV

“She’s gone… you can finally breathe now.” Yuji barges into his brother’s room without a warning. Choso, who was peacefully existing with his headphones on, jumps back in his bed, dropping his music with an annoyed frown. “Ok…” he mutters, not even pretending to care, “did you at least understand a word she said?”

“Hold on, bro,” Yuji waves his arms around dramatically, “why aren’t we talking about how your killer glare probably made her want to join a monastery and take a vow of silence? We might need a priest to bless the room if she ever comes back.”

Choso, eyes darting to the corner, knows it’s true. He’s an expert at making people uncomfortable with his mysterious aura. But she wasn’t scared of him, right? She just seemed… interested? Or maybe confused? His mind goes into overdrive, battling between self-doubt and a strange sense of vulnerability. Was he the creepy guy, or were you just… not scared of him? He really didn’t know how to feel about that gaze of yours. It wasn’t judging. It was curious. And that... was new. So new he doesn't know how to cope with that.

“Well,” Yuji interrupts his spiraling thoughts, his grin screaming trouble is coming, “Can I ask why you were being weird today? Like, weird weird?”

Choso’s train of thought derails, and he stumbles over words. “I… don’t know…” he mutters. “Maybe… I’m just not used to… being around… girls?” His face turns into a tomato. “I mean, you know, girls usually think I’m a weirdo…”

A flashback to Yuki, the only girl he’d ever been able to talk to, flits through his mind. She had been his friend. A real friend. She was the only one who didn’t run for the hills when he spoke. The only woman who could accept him for who he is. Maybe the only one in his entire existence… he has always wondered if his mother really managed to accept his nature in the end. He wouldn't even blame her if not…But that’s a whole different therapy session.

Yuji’s grin widens, clearly about to unleash chaos. “I get it, bro,” he says, all innocent-looking, but Choso still can see the mischievous glint in his eyes. “But seriously, it’s time for you to join the human race. Go outside, touch some grass, bask in the sunlight. Maybe even put on real clothes for once instead of your comfy ‘I haven’t left the house in six days’ pajamas.”

Choso stares down at his pajama pants like they’ve personally offended Yuji. “Why do you hate my pajamas so much?” he mutters, defensive, like a child caught in his favorite blanket.

Yuji snickers. “Nothing. I’m sure even our neighbor’s jealous of your unique fashion choices.”

Suddenly, Choso’s cheeks turn pink as he realizes he probably should’ve made himself slightly presentable before you showed up. Oops.

“Jokes aside, don’t stress about her. She’s chill. Oh, and I bet she really appreciated you checking in on her tonight. Big bro points, my dude. Huge. I approve.”

As Yuji heads for the door, Choso’s mind starts to race again. You’re probably starting your shift right about now, and suddenly, his chest feels tight. Worry? Anticipation? He isn’t sure. Probably both. He’s no expert in nightlife (he’s more of a “stay home and brood” kind of guy), but he knows enough about what happens at clubs on weekends to be mildly terrified. Drunk people, loud music, bad decisions. And you, you’re… well, you’re attractive,beautiful even. The image of that pout you make when you focus suddenly comes to his mind, he noticed it while you were sitting in their kitchen, just an hour before.

Yuji snaps his fingers in front of Choso’s face. “Yo, Earth to Choso, where’d you go? What do you want for dinner? Spaghetti? Pizza? A small army of snacks?”

Your POV:

You’re back at the apartment, quickly switching into your pub’s uniform while grabbing a snack that’s barely worthy of being called dinner. "Hey 'Zuru, I’m over here," you call out, hearing the door open signalling your roommate's return. In your typical fashion, you join her, making a grand entrance, hopping on one foot while trying (and failing) to pull on your skirt without falling over. She shoots you an amused stare. Her laugh fills the room as she opens the fridge, rummaging around for ingredients. "So, how was your day?" she asks, but the disapproving tone in her voice could sour milk.

You shrug casually, leaning against the counter as you munch on your snack. “Eventful, to say the least. Classes were fine, but I ended up helping Yuji with his homework after bumping into him this morning. Had to do something for him, especially after he saved our apartment from that fire your straightener started...” You approach her, trying to help with dinner prep, although you're more distracted by the ongoing crisis of your skirt.

She squints at you, half amused, half exasperated. “Wait—my straightener now? Really? You’re incredible.” She scoffs, and you can feel the heat of her sarcasm even before she opens her mouth again. “Oh, and thanks for almost wrecking my date next week. You know, the guy from this morning, who definitely didn’t look like Kenji? Yeah, he wasn’t thrilled when you mistook him for my ex.”

You wince, feeling a little guilty. “Oops? But seriously, since when do you hang out with such prickly guys?” You try to make light of the situation, your innocent smile just the tiniest bit mischievous. It works—just a little.

“Lucky we’re friends,” she mutters under her breath, grabbing a piece of your KitKat bar without permission. “Anyway, how’d it go with Yuji?”

You lean back on the counter, kicking your legs casually, your voice almost dreamy as you glance up at the ceiling. “It went pretty well. You can tell he really puts effort into everything, even his chemistry work.” You pause, letting the suspense build before casually adding, “Oh, and I met his brother today. Choso.”

At the mention of his name, Shizuru freezes mid-step, her eyes narrowing “Who? The ghost of the block?” Her disbelief is palpable. She holds her pan like it might be some kind of defense weapon. “You’re telling me you actually talked to him? And got his name? How are you still alive?”

You laugh, rolling your eyes. “Relax, he’s not that bad. He’s just a little…shy.”

“Shy?” She spits out the word like it's poison. “Shy doesn’t mean watching people from a distance with that I’ll stab you if you breathe near me look. That guy’s a creep! I don’t even know how they’re brothers. It's like one was raised by kittens, and the other by serial killers.”

You stare at her, raising an eyebrow. “Zuru, that’s not fair—”

“Not fair? Have you seen him? He looks like he’d bite your head off if you smiled at him wrong,” she interrupts. Her face is a mix of incredulity and concern now. “Tell me, what did he even say to you?”

“Not much,” you admit with a shrug. “He mostly just... studied me. Like, just stared at me the whole time.”

She bursts out laughing. “I knew it! No doubt he looked at you like you were the last woman on Earth. I bet the last time a girl talked to him, he thought it was some kind of alien encounter.”

You roll your eyes but your smile lingers a little too long, a little too soft. “Well, there was one thing... He did ask if I’d be okay working the night shift alone, said he was worried about me being out by myself.”

Shizuru drops her spatula. “Wait, wait, what? He asked you that? That can only mean one of two things: He’s either a secret knight in shining armor—like, a dark and broody ‘I’ll protect you’ type—or he’s a stalker serial killer making sure no one kills you before he can.”

You throw your hands up in exasperation, hopping off the counter. “And here I thought we could have a normal conversation. Why is it so hard for you to admit that he’s not that bad? Honestly, I’m heading to work now. Don’t wait up for me.”

Shizuru tilts her head, giving you that knowing smirk. “Never planned on it. But seriously—watch out for the Chosos on your way out. They tend to give people... intense stares.”

As you grab your jacket and head out the door, you can't help but think back to Choso—of how oddly protective he’d seemed earlier. There’s something about him that’s so... complicated, like there's more lurking beneath the surface. You shake the thought off, but a small part of you wonders just how much of a knight he might actually be.

...

The shift has gone smoother than expected, the hours slipping away unnoticed as you worked at the pub. It wasn't until the end of the night, when a few too many patrons had indulged a bit too much, that you and your colleague found yourselves staying later than planned. You've had to help some of them out the door, calling their emergency contacts to make sure they'd get home safely. On your way back, the thought crosses your mind that it must feel nice to have someone to always rely on. Since moving to Japan, your roommate has always been your one constant, your anchor. You'd taken care of each other, navigating the chaos of life side by side. That’s why Yuji and Choso’s concern earlier today has left you with an unexpected feeling. It was nice to be cared for, even if it felt … strange.

As you walk home, you suddenly remember the promise you made to them today about letting them know you'll make it back safely tonight. But how could you do that now? It's already 3am and you are barely crawling back to the building, exhausted, your mind blurry. They are probably asleep by now anyways, and you certainly don't want to wake them up for something so trivial. What if they had even forgotten about it? This could also be a possibility...The idea of barging into their apartment looking like you had just fought a zombie apocalypse, just to say, "Hey, just wanted to tell you I made it home safe," is mortifying. You never quite knew how to handle attention like that. It always felt… uncomfortable.

You sigh as the elevator doors open. Stepping inside, you lean against the cool metal, the reflection in the mirror showing just how tired you are. Dark circles under your eyes—could they rival Choso’s? You wonder if he works nights too, that would explain why he's never around during the day… The impactful sight of your disheveled hair and smudged makeup makes you cringe. There's no way you are going to run into anyone in this state

...

Meanwhile, Choso has been pacing the living room for more than an hour, glancing at the clock every few minutes. 2:00 a.m. 2:30. 2:45. Where were you? Shouldn’t any bar be closed by now? Why weren't you home yet?

Yuji went to sleep hours ago, and the silence of the apartment, only broken by the occasional tick of the clock, fuels his anxiety. What if something had happened to you? What if someone had gotten too close at the bar, or worse, if you’d run into trouble on your walk home? He's already regretting not insisting on walking you home. He had let his guard down, and now he can't shake the thought of you being out there alone.

He stops pacing for a moment, realizing how absurd his thoughts must sound. But he can't help it—once Yuji had pulled him into your orbit just this afternoon, he couldn’t shake the sense of responsibility he felt for you. Protectiveness has always come naturally to him. And you were Yuji’s friend, which meant you were officially under his care too.

Then, his mind drifts back to earlier today, to how small and fragile you looked under his gaze in the kitchen, huddled in that oversized leather jacket as if you were trying to hide from the world…. A feeling he knows quite well. Guilt stirs in his chest, maybe you two aren't that different… He didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. Maybe that's why he couldn’t stop thinking about you, why he cared so much.

Cling. His thoughts are interrupted by the familiar chime of the elevator. He freezes. Could it be you?

The doors slide open and you tiptoe down the dim hallway, trying to avoid making a sound. You are certain Yuji and Choso have forgotten about you anyway, and you have already concocted a half-baked excuse in case they haven't. Reaching your door, you find your lovely roommate has locked you out again. "Damn, 'Zuru," you mutter through gritted teeth, rolling your eyes as you fumble for your keys in the chaotic abyss of your bag.

Too preoccupied with not making noise, you fail to notice the figure standing behind you until it is too late: Choso stands there, watching you struggle with your keys, his nostrils flaring as his eyes sweep over you. The sight of you in your uniform—tight T-shirt clinging to your curves, legs exposed in that breathtaking miniskirt, the ‘Queen of the Night’ logo teasingly placed just above your neckline—stirred something dark in him…how could this be defined as a work uniform?

“You’re back.” His voice is dry, sharp, and it makes you jump, the keys slipping from your hands and clattering to the ground.

"Shit…it's you, Choso," you mutter, heart racing. His hard expression makes it instantly clear that you've just made a mistake. "You scared me."

On the spot,he wants nothing more than to snap something sarcastic about how you should be more afraid of wandering the streets at 3 a.m. than of him, but he bites his tongue. He is too angry, too frustrated.

“Why didn’t you let us know you made it home safely? You've promised…” His tone is harsh, the words coming out faster than he intended.

Touché- your heart sinks at the reminder of your earlier promise. You can't stand the fact that he'd probably think low of you now, even more than he did before if possible.

“I... I thought you and Yuji had probably forgotten about it,” you stammer, the excuses falling from your lips before you can stop them. “I didn’t want to bother you, especially at this hour.” Your words ring hollow even to you, but you can't help but wonder why he was so upset for something that didn't involve him or Yuji directly.

Choso’s eyes narrow, his jaw tightening. “If we didn’t want to be bothered, we wouldn’t have asked you to let us know in the first place. I spent the evening waiting for you to come home.” His gaze pinns you, as if daring you to look away.

The realization hits you—Choso, the cold guy everyone is afraid of is worried…for you? You blink, surprised by the raw intensity in his eyes. “Wait…did you actually… wait up for me?”

His face softens for a split second before hardening again. "I did."

The hallway falls silent for a moment. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know. It’s my fault,” you murmur looking at the ground, still unable to hold his gaze, when your raging guilt finally subsides.

Choso sighs at the scene, leaning against the doorframe. His arms cross over his broad chest, and you can tell he's still trying to control his emotions. “It’s okay." Those three words are enough to make you release the breath you didn't know you were holding. "Just… keep it in mind from now on: you can always call us if you're in trouble. No matter the time.” he says, his eyes now boring into yours as if seeking the reassurance you'd grasped the concept.

You smile at his awkward attempt to ease the tension… something suggested you that his rough façade was nothing but a bluff already this afternoon, and the embarrassed expression etched on his face right now as he tries to maintain a stern tone confirms that you weren't wrong. “Can I ask you something?” you speak, guilt now replaced by a playful mischief that takes Choso aback.

"Uh? Yeah… What’s up?” he asks, desperately trying to sound casual, though inside, he is already panicking about what you might ask.

Your grin grows as you mirror his posture, leaning against your door and crossing your arms. “Is your door about to fall off or something?”

His eyes widen in confusion, before turning and checking for the stability of his entrance door. “No, it’s still pretty sturdy… Why?”

You have to suppress a laugh at the panic in his voice... Is it always that easy to make him nervous?. “Just seemed like you always lean on it like it’s your life mission or something.” you tease him, remembering how he displayed his signature 'alpha-pose' already this afternoon.

Choso’s face flushes, and he quickly looks away, trying to salvage his tough guy image. “It’s none of your business,” he mutters, putting on an adorable child-like frown, but even in the dim light, it is obvious he is flustered by your teasing.

You raise an eyebrow. “Okay, okay…” The air around you feels less tense now, almost intimate, with just the two of you awake in the whole building. “Is Yuji sleeping?” you whisper, interrupting the peaceful silence of the night.

“Yeah, he’s been asleep for a while now…” The change in Choso’s posture as you mention his brother is noticeable: his deep voice softens, his eyes fill with a sparkle as his thoughts seem to wander to Yuji. “He really wanted to stay up and wait for you, but I convinced him I’d handle it.”

You laugh quietly. “Aww so thoughtful of him! But he’s got school tomorrow. He definitely needs to save some energy for chemistry class… your brother is such an angel…you know," you confess, opening up to him about the struggles of getting used to your new surroundings "he has always been one of the few friendly faces when I moved here...I'll forever be thankful for meeting him”

Choso chuckles along with you, his lips finally curling up in a faint smile, though his mind seems to slip far away. “He’s special… too pure for this world.”

The moment is quiet, comfortable even, until you break the silence again, thinking it's time for both of you to take some sleep. “Thanks for what you did tonight… Goodnight, Choso.”

You can feel his eyes on you as you turn to leave, but there is something more—something that makes him hesitate. “Hey," he stammers without thinking, as if he's subconsciously trying to extend the longest conversation he has had with someone other than Yuji in a while "Can I ask you one more thing before you go?”

You pauses,as if surprised by his own boldness. “Yeah? Of course you can...” you turn to face him once again and Choso realizes it's too late to take back his words now..His heart hammers in his chest, the words hanging on the edge of his tongue. “I’ve been wondering... " He swallows, finding the right words to express what has been wandering around his head all night "did anyone cause you any trouble at the pub tonight? In any way...” he stammers.

His gaze is intense, unwavering even, and for a moment, you see something darker behind his eyes, something akin to the danger everyone associates with him. His question catches you off guard, but you quickly reassure him, putting on a warm smile “No, it was a pretty easy night actually… Just had to kick out a couple of drunk patrons, nothing serious.” you try to alleviate the tension.

In this moment you can clearly see his attention drift away again, that distant look of this afternoon resurfacing on his features. He lets out a low hum, his posture stiffening again as he unexpectedly turns his back on you. "Good. Goodnight,then" he mutters, his tone final.

You blink, awkwardly standing in the hallway for a moment longer after his sudden departure, unsure of what had just happened. What had you said wrong? Where does he go in his mind when he gets lost in those mysterious thoughts of his?

You finally reach out for the keys, still laying on the ground and enter your apartment, wishing you could shut the doubts outside with him as you close the door behind you with a soft click, your mind still racing with confusion. Choso…you were right about his name: there is more to him than meets the eye, and the more you see of him, the more you feel drawn to uncover the secrets behind his rough demeanor.

On the other side of the wall, Choso lays awake in bed, his fists clenched, a tangle of emotions storming through him. Why did you have to be so careless? Why couldn’t you see the danger in the way you were acting? The thought of other men ogling over you in that uniform somehow made his blood boil, and yet, he can't tear his mind away from the image of you bathed in the moonlight seeping through the windows in the hallway, so vulnerable and unaware of the way your carelessness affected him. What's so special about clubs anyways? What's the use of being looked at like nothing but a piece of meat by a bunch of drunk assholes? How could you be fine with that?

And as the darkness of the night envelops him, he can't shake the pull he feels toward you—that undeniable need to protect you, from the whole world, including yourself, even if he doesn't fully understand the reasons behind it. You are beautiful, yes….and so damn reckless…

Thanks for reading! Comments, reblogs and interactions are appreciated

©Dreamingkitsunewrites. Do not copy my works.

79 notes · View notes

whydoyoucare866 · 2 years ago

Note

hai :3 can i request an enemies to lover miguel o hara fic where they get stuck in a closet together and reader kinda has to sit on his lap because there isnt any space and so after a few minutes of being in there, reader pisses off miguel and miguel kisses them to shut them up and then the rest is history ig 🙇‍♀️

PLS AND THANK YOU! 🙇‍♀️

also pls make the reader speak spanish im BEGGINGGG.

CLOSET

hi! ofc you can! I did my best! I’m sorry that it sucks and is cringy😀😭

Miguel O’ Hara x Hispanic Reader

Masterlist

Warnings: Suggestive Language, Maybe a glimpse of smut, and Miguel being an asshole

You were one of Miguel’s first recruits, you had been working in the spider society for as long as it had existed, you and Miguel were close (or you would like to consider that) since you both shared the same culture and language and it was easier for you to communicate with him when your English wasn’t as good as it is (since in your universe Spanish was the predominant language) and he would be one of the few people who could understand your accent or you speaking Spanish when you forgot a word.

He took it as his personal job to teach you English until you perfected it and people who didn’t know you wouldn’t be able to guess that it wasn’t your first language( though sometimes you still would forget words in English or express yourself better in Spanish) you would both mutually bring food for each other or bond over music, so yeah you considered yourself close to him.

That was until he started becoming way more stressed about everything, yeah he has been a sour asshole ever since his canon event, but people were at least able to get small responses and have conversations that weren’t all about work with him, but as the spider society grew, he felt a lot of pressure on him and started drowning himself in work to the point that he would isolate himself for days until he got everything he needed done, he could spend weeks without sleeping and eating, and obviously as he became more stressed his memories started to impulse even worse emotions on him than they did before.

Of course this made you and your other teammates worried about him, so you started to bring him lunch, make sure he slept, and just went to see if he was okay, but you checking up on him started to annoy him as he got more irritating because of the lack of sleep and the accumulation of stress, so one day he just decided you annoyed him and soon that annoyance turned into hatred, or that’s what he thought it was.

This made him become snappy at you and we all know he can be the greatest asshole, at first you’re patient with him, thinking it will pass, but as it gets worse you reach your ending point and lose all patience starting to respond to him the same way he talked to you.

The sudden change weirded everyone out, but they also noticed that ever since you started hating Miguel back, his mood became even worse, well everyone noticed except for you, which surprised everyone since you were one of the smartest people in the spider society.

So thats why everyone refused to go to a mission with Miguel when he asked them to, arguing that they already had a mission, or that they had something really important to do, until Miguel had no other option but to take you and you had no other option but to go with him.

“Do i reaally have to go with him? I mean can’t he just ask Ben instead?” You said to Jess

“Nope honey, Ben has a really important therapy session”

“Okay? so then ask Gwen? Pavitr? Hobie? anyone else?”

“He already did, they’re all busy”

“Then why can’t you go”

“As important as the spider society is, I have an ultrasound appointment today, so I can’t go even if I wanted to”

“Well the world just hates me then doesn’t it”

“Maybe it does, or maybe it’s doing you a favor”

“Trust me, being alone with him is not a favor, i don’t want to be screamed at about how i’m annoying and a fucking- what was the word? uhm una carga? how did you say that?”

“A burden?”

“Yeah that! I don’t want to be called a burden and shit like that”

“You’re no burden, but I’ll tell you what you sound like, a teenage girl, come on, you’re an adult, you can take things in a professional way”

“Well the one that’s childish is him not me”

“Uh huh, well i’ve gotta go, good luck!”

“Yeah whatever”

You were now approaching Miguel’s office while wishing you were dead ‘Puta madre neta me lleva la verga, ahora si ya no tengo de otra más que ir’ (Fuck this shit, now I really don’t have any option but to go), you were starting to grow nervous as you approached his door, you hadn’t been alone with him since your last fight where he directly called you annoying and a burden, but now you had no other option.

After finishing the mission without actually talking to each other unless necessary, you both came back to the HQ, when you arrived it was weirdly quiet and no one seemed to be there doing their duties even if it was not that late, which was really weird, that was until you saw Peter B. approaching you with a worried look

“Hey y/n, have you seen MayDay? I can’t find her, usually it takes me an hour, but it’s been four hours and I haven’t been able to find her and I’m starting to get worried” Peter said to you while still running up to you and then catching his breath

“Oh, um I’m sorry but we just got back from a mission so we haven’t seen anything, but we can help you look!”

“No we can’t” Miguel said

“Yes we can, anyways where was the last place that you saw her Peter?” You said after glaring at Miguel as if looks could kill

“Well, I think it was in that one room that has a closet.. I always forget what it’s called”

“Okay yeah, I know which one you’re talking about, let’s go take a look”

Miguel followed them even if he said he wouldn’t be helping, Mayday being on the loose could press a lot of buttons and break a lot of things and cause a lot of problems, so there he was, inside of the closet with you, while Peter “looked” around the room, until they heard a loud noise of the door closing and now he was trapped inside with you, the worst thing is that because of the lack of space you ended up in his lap.

“Great, just what I needed”

“You know I’m not happy about being here with you either okay?”

“Oh is that so? or was this your little plan to get me trapped with you and to get all up on my personal space”

“WHAT? I would NOT do that, and I do NOT want to be in the same room as you you fucking asshole!”

“Oh yeah am I an asshole? sorry I couldn’t understand you with that accent”

“WHAT? okay now you’re being unreasonable, you want me to say it in Spanish? I will, Yo no planee esto wey, yo no quiero estar en el mismo lugar que tu, yo no quiero que me hables, yo no te quiero hablar y mucho menos molestar tu pinche espacio personal, así que neta hazme un favor y cállate un rato que ya no te aguanto cabrón, neta deja de cagar el palo y de ser un pendejo de la nada y ni me trates de culpar porque yo ni se que chingados te hice para que me odies tanto-“. (I didn’t plan this, I don’t want to be in the same place as you, I don’t want you to talk to me or to talk to you or even less to be all on your fucking personal space, so please do me a favor and shut up a little because I can’t deal with you anymore, please stop being such an asshole out of nowhere and don’t blame me because i don’t even know what the fuck I did for you to hate me so much-) That’s when you felt something on your lips, and it took you some time to realize he was kissing you, Miguel O’Hara was kissing you, you sure as hell felt as a teenage girl, butterflies in your stomach and everything.

On the other side Miguel was starting to get nervous as you didn’t return the kiss, he was starting to pull away and about to say he was sorry and he didn’t mean it when he felt you pulling him close and kissing him again, at first it was just a sweet kiss, but then it started to get heated, he couldn’t help but moan when he started feeling you grinding against him, with each second passing making him harder, he started kissing your neck and sucking “Fuck Miguel- you’re gonna leave marks” but he didn’t care, he continued, hearing your moans was paradise to him, he wanted to take you there so bad, until, they heard a knock “Um guys? are you okay?” Peter B said as he unlocked the door and opened it making Miguel groan in annoyance “This isn’t over.” he said before the door completely opened and revealed a Peter with a smiling Mayday in his arms.

#miguel o’hara x reader angst #miguel o’hara angst #miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o’hara x reader smut #across the spiderverse #miguel o hara x reader smut #miguel o’hara x reader fluff

1K notes · View notes

candycandy00 · 11 months ago

Note

Hii! For your 2k followers event can you do

Character: Toji

AU Setting: Prison (As prisoner)

Spice Level: NSFW

Mood: Writers choice :)

Kinks: Whatever you see fit!!

Catch You on the Outside - A Toji x Reader Fanfic

Smut. 18+. AU. Fem Reader. Toji as a Prisoner. Rough sex. Rough oral.

Part of CandyCandy’s 2k Followers Event! These two requests were very similar so I combined them. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated! Dividers by @benkeibear!

You’re walking down the hall of the prison, just finishing your daily sessions with the prisoners in your therapy program, when you see him.

Fushiguro Toji. You heard he was being transferred here, but you didn’t realize it would be today. He’s quite notorious, with a long list of convictions. Multiple counts of murder, extortion, armed robbery, assault, and dozens of lesser offenses. If it’s bad, he’s probably done it at some point.

He’s so much bigger in person than he looked on the news. How tall is this guy? And he so muscular that he looks like he could wrestle a grizzly bear and win. He’s also much better looking in person. His face, though scarred and a bit rugged, is very handsome and his eyes are a sharp emerald green.

As a team of six guards lead him by you, his eyes shift over to you. They travel shamelessly up and down your body, and it feels like his gaze is peeling your clothes off right there in the hall. It makes your face flush with heat. You’re no stranger to being ogled by the prisoners here, but there’s something absolutely obscene about the way Toji does it, the look in his eyes that says, “I’ll be fucking you by the weekend”, the way he subtly licks his lips, the way he smirks as if he could break loose and snap every guard’s neck before anyone could draw a gun.

It all sends a shiver down your spine. And as much as you hate to admit it, you feel a growing wetness in your panties.

The next day you’re surprised to find out Toji signed up for the therapy program. He didn’t seem like the type to give therapy a shot, and you wonder if he only signed up so that he could be alone in a room with you. It wouldn’t be the first time a prisoner has tried that. You can always tell right away when they have no interest in actually talking about their feelings. They spend the session staring at your tits and sometimes even making disgusting comments or outright asking you for sex. You report their behavior and boot them from the program without a second thought.

So what will it be with Toji? As you walk into the room to have your first session with him, you find yourself almost hoping he’ll proposition you. Of course you wouldn’t act on it. You’re a professional after all. But it might give you some masturbation material for tonight. Lord knows your brief run in with him yesterday gave you plenty for last night.

He’s sitting in a metal chair, his wrists handcuffed behind his back. There’s a table in front of him, and another chair for you to sit across from him. Three guards are standing in the room.

“You three can step out,” you tell them. Guards never stay in the room during sessions. Instead they wait outside the door. There’s also a camera in the corner of the room. It doesn’t record sound, only visuals, to protect the privacy of the prisoners.

“We were told to stay in here,” one of them says. “Fushiguro has been known to attack doctors and therapists in the past.”

You glance over at him, and he gives you a smile.

“He’s handcuffed, what’s he going to do?” you ask.

One of the guards glances apprehensively at Toji. “I don’t think you realize how dangerous he is, ma’am.”

You bristle at that remark. “Are you seriously implying I don’t understand how dangerous my job is? I’ve worked with violent criminals daily for five years. I’ve had knives held to my throat. I’ve been punched in the face. Three different men have tried to rape me. So don’t tell me how dangerous this is!”

The guard seems to shrivel a bit at your outburst. “I’m sorry, but we can’t just leave you alone in here with him.”

“Listen,” you say, stepping closer to him, “doing my job properly depends on establishing trust with the prisoner. I can’t do that with you three hovering around in here. So wait outside the door. I’ll scream if he tries anything.”

The three guards look at each other, then one of them sighs and says, “We’ll give you twenty minutes.”

With that, they file out of the room and shut the door. You stare after them for a moment, feeling irritated but also proud of yourself for standing your ground. Then you walk over and take the seat across from Toji.

“I’m sorry about that. I’ll have a word with the warden before tomorrow’s session,” you tell him, pulling your notepad and pen, as well as a recording device, from your bag. “Do you have any objections to me recording our conversations?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t care.”

You study his face. He still has that oddly confident look, as if he’s only staying here in prison for the fun of it.

“Fushiguro-san, I want to make something clear right off the bat. If I think you’re not serious about this program, I’ll remove you immediately. But if you want to give therapy a fair shot, I’ll be happy to help you to the best of my ability.”

“Call me Toji,” he says, a smirk on his scarred lips. “And I’m completely serious about this. Why else would I sign up?”

You’ve already pushed record on the device and sat it between the two of you on the table. “Some prisoners sign up just to get close to me,” you say, opening your notebook to a clean page.

“Really? Well don’t worry,” he says, that damn smirk still on his face, “I’m not that desperate. I’ve fucked enough women to last a lifetime.”

The comment gives you pause. Professionally, you should be relieved. But personally? You find it a little insulting. You click your fountain pen. “That’s good to know,” you say smoothly.

“Don’t tell me you’re disappointed,” he says.

“Of course not. It’s best for you if you see me as a professional here to help you.”

He laughs. “Best for you too.”

You look up from your notepad. “What do you mean by that?”

He tilts his head slightly, looking at you the way a lion looks at a wounded zebra. “If I saw you as a woman I wanna fuck, I’d have you bent over this table already.”

You know exactly what he’s doing, and he’s not the first. You sit your pen on the table and look at him with a cool expression. “And if I saw you as a man I want to fuck, Toji, I’d be under this table deep throating your cock right now. Thankfully, we’ve established that’s not the case, so let’s begin the session, shall we?”

His eyes widen slightly, then a broad grin spreads over his face. “Well, aren’t you a little firecracker!”

“No, I’m a woman who has dealt with men like you for years. So if you want to shock or frighten me, you’ll have to do better than that.”

There’s a gleam of excitement in his eyes as he stares at you. “How about I take these cuffs off and ram your pretty little head into the wall until it’s just a bloody pile of hamburger?”

You scoff as you jot down notes. In red ink you’ve written “violent tendencies” and “empty threats”. You barely glance up at him as you say, “You can’t just take the cuffs off, Toji. They’re pretty much designed to prevent that.”

“Really?” he asks, then he slowly pulls his hands forward in front of him. Only one has a cuff on it, the other metal ring dangling uselessly from it.

Your first instinct is to jump up and flee the room. He’s loose! He’s probably been loose this whole time. The most violent man that’s ever been in this prison, that you’ve just been provoking, is just a few feet away from you. Should you scream? Could the guards even make it into the room before he kills you?

Wait, if he wanted to kill you, he probably would have already. You decide to take a gamble. “So?” you ask, trying to keep your voice even, praying he doesn’t notice the slight tremor in your hands. “What are you going to do to me, Toji?”

He’s already pulled his hands back behind him. His earlier movement had been subtle enough that the guard monitoring the camera probably didn’t even notice. Toji grins. “There’s a lot of things I wanna do to you. The list is growin’ the longer I talk to you. The question is, what do you want me to do?”

You look at him for a moment, at his smug, handsome face, at his muscular form flexing beneath the tightly fitted black T-shirt. Did the prison not have a shirt big enough for him? You sit back in your chair, crossing your legs. “I want you to take therapy seriously. I want to help-“

“You want me to split you open on my cock,” he says, cutting you off. “You think I can’t tell when a woman wants me? I bet your little pussy is drooling right now.”

You stare at him wordlessly. Damn it, he’s right! You uncross your legs and cross them again, trying to give yourself a bit of relief. You want his rough, thick fingers inside you.

Toji leans back, letting his thighs spread apart. He’s pushed back far enough from the table for you to see his crotch, and the outline of something impossibly huge. He notices you looking. “That’s right. Take a good look. I bet you’ve never seen a dick this big before. Now imagine how it’s gonna feel when I’m ramming it in your tight little hole.”

Your breaths are coming quicker despite your best attempts to remain calm. You glance up at the camera in the corner. Toji follows your gaze.

“I’m guessing you need to do something about that,” he says. “Probably wouldn’t look very professional to be on camera getting your guts rearranged by a prisoner, huh?”

You place the pen and notebook in your bag and stop the recording device. The twenty minutes are almost up. “I’ll think about it,” you say as calmly as you can.

He smiles at you as the guard opens the door and escorts you out.

For the next several days, you continue your sessions with Toji. Neither of you mention his proposition, and he never removes the handcuffs again, at least as far as you know. Still, just knowing he can if he wants to gives you a thrill.

He’s surprisingly open during his sessions. He tells you about a miserable childhood, a violent youth, a marriage that ended in the death of the only woman he ever loved, and (most shocking of all) a teenage son he hasn’t seen in years.

“I send him money,” he tells you. “He accepts it, but he never answers when I call or text him. Not that I blame him. Guess it’s embarrassing to have a murderer for a father.”

There’s a hint of sadness when he says it, the first genuine emotion you’ve seen from him. But he shrugs like he doesn’t care and moves on from the topic.

Fushiguro Toji is a fascinating man. If possible, you’d love to help him.

But first, you want him to fuck you until you can’t form thoughts.

A week after your first session with him, you decide to do something about that damn camera. It’s an easy task for you, someone who can move freely through the prison and has the trust of everyone there. The first step is to disable the monitor in the security room, which you do with no issue. It’s a temporary thing though, so you have to hurry to the consultation room and disable the camera itself while the monitor isn’t working, so no one sees what you’re doing.

Once the camera has been broken, you’re home free. You’ve worked here long enough to know it’ll take several days for them to replace the camera.

So today, when the guards walk out of the room, you lock the door behind them. Toji notices, and glances at the camera. “I take it that’s not recording?”

You nod. “It’s completely busted.”

He moves his arms around in front of him, uncuffed, and stands up, rolling his shoulders. Then in an instant he’s right in front of you, pressing you back against the wall, looming over you with a threatening aura. “You’re takin’ a big risk,” he says, “being alone with a guy like me. You must want my dick real bad.”

Your heart is pounding. This man could snap your neck like a twig. He could kill you before you can blink. But fuck, you’re so turned on!

You smile up at him, using your hands to press back against his chest. “Sit down and I’ll show you how much I want it.”

His eyes seem to light up. He wears that familiar smirk as he returns to the chair and sits, lazily opening his legs. As you walk over, you unbutton your crisp white shirt, revealing a sexy lace bra you picked for today. You drop the shirt on the floor and unzip your pencil skirt, stepping out of it. You’re wearing matching lace panties with silk stockings and a garter belt. You chose the sexiest combo possible for this encounter.

Toji seems to appreciate your efforts. His eyes drink in your form as he palms himself through his prison issued sweat pants. Then he slides the waistband down, and the biggest cock you’ve ever seen pops out. Strong and tall like its owner, it’s already rock hard. It looks delicious.

When you reach him, you drop to your knees in front of him and grasp his shaft in one hand. Your fingers can’t even wrap all the way around its veiny girth, but you stroke him slowly, watching the massive organ twitch in your grip. You lean forward and lick the tip, then slide your tongue all around it, drenching it with your saliva before taking it into your mouth.

It doesn’t fit, but you manage to get most of it in without choking. You’re pretty proud of your throat game, so you press even further down, letting him fill your mouth completely, almost swallowing him. You hear a short grunt and feel his big hand on your head, holding you down. You focus on breathing through your nose, your tongue licking the underside of his cock while your throat tightens around him.

Finally he releases his grip, and you pull back enough to lick him properly, sucking on the tip with your pursed lips. Then he’s in your mouth again, and you’re moving your head back and forth, looking up at his face as you repeatedly take him halfway down your throat.

His hand is now resting on your head, not applying any pressure but threading his fingers through your hair. “Fuck, you weren’t kiddin’ about bein’ hungry for my dick!”

After a few more minutes pass, his grip tightens again, and he shoves your head down even further than before, completely cutting off your air. Then, he shoots his cum directly down your throat, forcing you to swallow every drop.

When he releases you and pulls out of your mouth, you sputter and gasp, then you diligently get to work cleaning his cock with your tongue, savoring the taste of his cum. You’re in a hurry to get him hard again. You’ve arranged for the sessions to last forty-five minutes, and you don’t intend to end this without being thoroughly fucked.

Thankfully, Toji has plenty of stamina. He’s hard again in no time, standing up from the chair and tearing the delicate lace underwear from your body. You wince, trying not to think about how expensive they were.

His hands are all over you, roughly exploring every inch. When his hand dips down between your thighs, and he feels how wet you are, he grins. You’re waiting for some quip, but instead he jerks you around to face away from him and pushes your upper half face down on the table. He gives your bare ass a slap before his hands spread your cheeks. His knees push your legs apart, and with no warning, he shoves all the way inside your dripping pussy.

You gasp at the stretch, at how fucking huge he is, but he doesn’t hesitate for a moment before he’s pounding into you. He’s probably aware of the time limit himself, so he wastes no time with letting you adjust to his size.

He fucks you hard, so hard that your feet are knocked off the floor and your legs dangle from the table. You hold onto the edge of it with both hands, gripping it for dear life, crying out obscenely each time his tip slams into your cervix.

“Ahh, fuck! You’re gonna break me!” you yell.

You hear Toji laugh behind you. “I thought you could handle me!”

You rise up from the table, arching your back, and reach back with one arm to grab his shirt and get some leverage. You take one of his hands from your waist and move it down, between your pried open thighs. He takes the hint, his fingers finding your clit and rubbing it vigorously, spreading your leaking fluids all around. You moan at the touch, leaning back into him, letting the pleasure overtake you.

With a thrill, you imagine the horrified looks on the guards’ faces if they walked in. You locked the door, but they have a keycard to open it. At best it would buy you a few seconds. But the thought of being caught moaning and cumming on a murderer’s cock sends you over the edge. You cry out, your body spasming as Toji impales you, your aching pussy clenching around him.

“You got yours,” you hear him say, his fingers giving a quick pinch to your hyper sensitive clit, “now I’m gonna fill you up.”

You barely have time to process those words before you feel his hot cum shoot inside you, all the way to your core.

When he’s finished, he pulls out and tucks himself back into his pants. He watches you lean against the table for a few moments, trembling and trying to catch your breath, too exhausted and sore to even close your legs. But you have to straighten yourself out. The clock is ticking. You stagger over to your pile of clothes and pull them back on, shoving your shredded underwear into your bag.

You look at him, sitting there looking so smug and calm… and so very fuckable. You reach into your bag and pull out the item you swiped from the security room earlier. You step over and hand it to him.

“This is a master keycard. It should let you open any door until they figure it out. Do whatever you please with it,” you tell him.

He takes it, slipping it into the pocket of his sweats. “Awful nice of you.”

“Go and see your son. Make things right with him.”

His eyes widen, then he looks away, seeming the slightest bit awkward for the first time. “You’ll get fired if anyone finds out.”

You shrug. “So I won’t let anyone find out. Don’t snitch on me.”

He laughs as he looks back at you. “Thanks, doll. I’ll find you on the outside.”

You raise your eyebrows. “Is that a threat?”

He smiles, the scar on his lips stretching. “It’s a promise.”

#toji x reader #toji #fushiguro toji #toji smut #fushiguro toji x reader #x reader #jjk x reader #jjk smut #candys2kevent

203 notes · View notes

padawan-snack-packer · 12 days ago

Text

[They see you crying (over a show movie) - Clones Edition]

Hi babes, how are we doin'???? I hope you're having an amazing day/night!!!!

Sooooo I watched Andor (yes, the new season, most recent set of episodes. Yes, I sobbed like a dehydrated womp rat) and it got me thinking… grief is grief. Whether it’s over a real person or a fictional character who got done DIRTY by the writers, your heart doesn’t know the difference. It just hurts. And that is not cringe. You’re not "too sensitive" or "being dramatic" because a show or movie made you cry — you're just a human being with feelings (and possibly an attachment to scruffy rebels or doomed clones).

Soooooooo if you’ve ever been that person who had to pause the credits because you were too busy sobbing into your snack bowl? This one’s for you!!!💛

Let the clones hold you through it. You deserve that comfort.

[Small note but I promise I'm working on the asks, i'm editing them rn but they will be posted today!!! thanks for your patience!!!]

🛡️ Captain Rex

Immediately goes into battlefield triage mode.

"Are you injured? Is someone hurt? What—oh. It's the—it's the show??"

Once he realizes it’s not a real emergency, he just goes very still and very soft.

Doesn't totally understand why you’re sobbing, but he sits next to you anyway and wraps an arm around your shoulders.

Very gently: “You wanna talk about it?”

Listens patiently as you ramble about the character death, the betrayal, the emotional damage. Says things like:

“That’s terrible. I wouldn’t have left them behind, for the record.”

Will quietly Google the show’s ending after, so he can better understand your pain.

Offers to help you write a strongly worded letter to the writers.

🟠 Commander Cody

Walks in, sees the tears, immediately: “Who do I have to shoot?”

Realizes it’s a fictional problem, sighs, mutters “Kriffing civvie drama,” and proceeds to sit beside you.

Offers you a blanket. Then another. Then a snack. Then a pillow. Doesn’t know what helps, so he just keeps piling things like some sort of golden retriever boyfriend.

10 minutes later he’s watching too. Begrudgingly.

Ends up emotionally invested and refuses to admit it.

“I wasn’t crying. My eye was itchy.”

If you rewatch the sad part, he’ll stay quiet the whole time, then quietly mutter: “...They deserved better.”

🟥 Commander Fox

At first thinks someone died and he's reaching for his blaster like "WHERE—WHO—"

When you sob "it's just a movie!!" he freezes mid-combat stance like a glitched protocol droid.

Stares blankly for five full seconds.

“...Why would they write something like that?”

Paces like he’s trying to figure out who to arrest for this emotional crime.

Absolutely texts Thorn in all caps like “I THINK THEY MURDERED THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR NO REASON??”

Offers you his cloak, his time, his entire salary. Whatever will stop the tears.

"Tell me what they did to you. No, I want every detail."

🔴 Commander Thorn

“Aww, sweetheart, come here.” Immediately scoops you into his lap like a human-sized therapy blanket.

Cracks jokes to make you laugh through the tears. But in a loving way.

"Don’t cry, cyare, or I’m gonna have to hunt the director down and force him to write a new ending."

Also genuinely mad on your behalf.

Would 100% play the trumpet at the writer’s front door at 3am in protest.

Buys you comfort food and insists on watching something happy after. ("No more emotional trauma today, thanks.")

💙 Fives

Dramatic gasping. "Nooo, mesh’la, who hurt you?!"

Immediately wraps you in his arms and rocks you like you’re the world’s saddest baby bird.

Is fully ready to fight the fictional antagonist.

“Tell me their name. I’ll get Jesse and we’ll have a talk with them.”

Cries with you. Even though he doesn’t know what’s happening. Now you’re both a mess.

Probably shouts "DON’T GO IN THERE!" at the screen mid-tears.

Makes a whole event out of comforting you: hot chocolate, movie rant, forehead kiss, extra blankets.

🛠️ Echo

Gentle, steady comfort king.

Wipes your tears with the edge of his sleeve and just softly asks, “Want to tell me what happened?”

If you explain, he listens all the way through, then hugs you and goes, “Yeah... that’s rough. I’m sorry they did that to you.”

Tries very hard to not be mad at fictional writing, fails.

Writes emotional fanfiction in his head to soothe you.

Quietly recommends better-written shows that won’t make you cry (but will totally watch this one with you again, if you need to process it more).

🟡 Boil

Stares like you just told him his blaster died.

“You’re crying over a series?”

...But then you explain, and he sees your little tear-stained face, and now he’s upset too.

Grumbles something like "Kriffing writers, can’t let people be happy?"

Pulls you into a hug and pets your hair awkwardly, like he’s not used to this kind of emotional warzone.

Might start angrily defending the character you’re sobbing over.

“No, I don’t care if he was flawed! He did his best!!”

Secretly tears up when he watches it later on his own. Lies about it.

🐻 Waxer

“Aw, cyare, what’s wrong?” Already pulling you onto the couch.

Hears your explanation and immediately goes: “That’s awful. I wouldn’t have written it that way.”

Super empathetic. Tells you it’s okay to cry. Holds your hand. Plays with your fingers while you sniffle.

Talks through the whole emotional arc with you like a therapist.

“So the dog died AND the love interest left?? That’s emotional terrorism.”

Brings Numa in like: “Can you believe this show made them cry?? Unacceptable.”

Gets you snacks and tells you you’re doing amazing even if your face is puffy.

💜 Jesse

Walks in mid-sob and immediately does the full dramatic gasp.

“Oh no, not my favorite person — who did this to you!?”

When you point at the TV and whisper “they died,” his face drops like you just personally attacked him.

Grabs the remote. Rewinds. Watches the scene in full silence.

“...They did you so dirty.”

Will absolutely cry with you. No shame. Holds your hand, dramatically wipes a single tear from your cheek.

Mutters “he deserved better” for the next week like it’s a prayer.

If you rewatch it, he brings snacks and tissues. Every. Time. This is a ritual now.

💉 Kix

“Whoa whoa whoa—deep breaths. In through your nose, out through your mouth—what happened?”

Immediately goes into soft medic mode. Hand on your shoulder. Crouching to your level.

When he figures out it’s because of a fictional character? He still treats it like a real crisis.

“Grief is grief, cyare. Doesn’t matter if it’s fictional. Your brain doesn’t always know the difference.”

Encourages you to drink water and decompress.

Then watches the whole episode and gives you an emotional damage debrief like, “This arc is textbook betrayal trauma. I’d cry too.”

Offers to “prescribe” ice cream and cuddles.

🐺 Commander Wolffe

Absolutely convinced you’re hurt or sick. Bursts in like: “Who made you cry? Where is he??”

You say “the movie” and he just... blinks.

“...You’re crying because of a movie?”

Cue grumpy but deeply concerned dad energy.

Awkwardly pats your shoulder. Then sighs. Then sits beside you and puts a stiff arm around you like “this is how people do comfort, right?”

Ends up emotionally invested anyway.

“...I knew he was a traitor. You can tell by the way he looks like a smug chakaar.”

Starts lowkey watching the show with you. Pretends it’s for “threat analysis.” (It’s not.)

🖤 Dogma

This man is PANICKED. You’re crying. He doesn’t know why. He thinks it’s his fault.

“Did I say something wrong? Did I mess something up?? Please tell me what I did—”

You manage to say it’s about a TV character, and he just deflates.

“Oh... thank the stars. I mean—no, not that I’m glad you’re crying, but—”

Silently shuffles into the room and brings you water like it’s the only thing he knows how to do.

Ends up very quiet and serious watching the rest with you.

Doesn’t cry, but definitely holds your hand a little too tightly when the next emotional moment hits.

Becomes very invested.

“This show is really well-written. I see why you’re upset.”

💥 Hardcase

You are ugly crying. The TV is still going. He walks in, gasps so loud it’s comedic.

“WHO DO I HAVE TO BLOW UP.”

Genuinely checks the door and window for enemies before you manage to sniffle, “...they killed him...”

"WHAT??? WHO??? Show me, I’ll handle this!!”

You point at the screen. He looks. Frowns.

“Wait. So. Not real?”

Then he watches the scene, starts crying with you even though he has no context.

“They didn’t deserve that!! They were a GOOD DUDE!! I know it in my soul!!”

Has a box of tissues in one hand, your hand in the other, and pure rage in his heart.

Later? He rewatches the whole series from the beginning. Gets unreasonably attached to that character.

“I would’ve died for them. Fr. Fives-tier loyalty. No notes.”

🐝 Tup

Gentleest bean. You’re crying, and he just comes over so softly.

“Hey... oh, sweetheart, are you okay?”

You say it’s the show, and his whole face just melts.

Wraps you up in a hug immediately. Doesn’t question it. Doesn’t laugh. Just warmth and steady heartbeats.

Sits beside you and wipes your cheeks with his sleeve.

Actually cries with you. His empathy is dialed up to a million.

Doesn’t say much. Just sits there with you, hand on your back, letting you be held.

He’s the kind of person who murmurs, “I know... it’s okay to feel it,” and you believe him.

Brings you hot tea and a soft blanket later. Softest king.

🟡 Appo

At first? Confused. You’re sobbing. He short-circuits.

“...Uh. Hey. You dying?”

You manage a “no—TV show—he died,” and Appo is just like: “oh.”

Immediately sits down like a brick.

“Alright. Walk me through it. What happened?”

Watches it in full. Expressionless. Then nods once.

“Yeah that’s messed up.”

Doesn’t cry. Doesn’t say much. But leans in so your head rests on his shoulder and gently puts an arm around you.

Carries you to bed if you fall asleep mid-rewatch.

Pretends he’s not invested. Absolutely is. Secretly furious they killed off your fave.

�� Bly

Sees you crying. Immediately alarmed.

“Mesh’la? What’s wrong?”

When you say it’s just a sad episode, he immediately switches to comfort mode.

Pulls you into his lap, kisses your temple, and rocks you gently while murmuring,

“I’ve got you. I’ve got you, sweet thing. Let it out.”

Will 100% watch the episode with you and get emotionally WRECKED.

Grabs your hand during the tragic death and squeezes it like he’s the one in battle.

“No. No. Not like this. They were just about to be happy.”

Brings you snacks and tissues, snuggles with you for hours after.

Starts referring to your fave character like they were a mutual friend.

“I miss them too. They were brave.” 😔

37 notes · View notes

kitty384 · 1 month ago

Text

Just Outside the Door

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Teen!Reader (Found Family | Platonic | Soft Dad!Stucky)

Summary: You’ve been through more than most people survive—and today, you finally agree to take the first step toward healing. Steve and Bucky don’t say much. They don’t push. They just walk you to the office, sit outside the whole time, and remind you with their silence: you don’t have to do this alone.

Warnings: Discussions of trauma recovery, mild anxiety, first therapy session, reader fear of vulnerability, gentle comfort, protective dads, implied past emotional neglect, implied PTSD, found family tenderness

I didn’t sleep the night before.

I just stared at the ceiling in my room, heart crawling in my chest, that tight ache behind my ribs growing heavier with every hour that passed.

It wasn’t the kind of fear I could name.

It wasn’t even fear of the therapist.

It was fear of me.

Fear of what might come out if someone asked me to speak out loud.

Fear that I’d sit down in that soft chair, in that soft room, and the moment someone said, “How are you really doing?”—

I’d break.

Steve didn’t say anything when I came down for breakfast that morning.

He just handed me a mug.

Warm tea.

No sugar, just the way I liked it.

Bucky passed me a slice of toast and smiled like he didn’t notice the way my hands were shaking.

And neither of them said a word about where we were going.

They let me bring it up when I was ready.

I didn’t.

Not even once.

But I still followed them when they got in the car.

Still put on the hoodie Steve left folded on my desk. Still slipped the comfort stone Bucky had given me into the pocket.

Still sat between them in the backseat like I couldn’t trust myself to face forward.

The clinic wasn’t far.

Fifteen minutes, maybe.

But it felt longer.

My palms were sweating by the time we pulled into the parking lot.

Steve turned off the car.

Bucky glanced back at me.

And both of them waited.

They didn’t say, Are you ready?

They didn’t say, Come on.

They just sat.

Silent.

Soft.

Until I opened the door and stepped out on my own.

The building was modern and quiet.

Pale blue walls. Big windows.

Nothing about it looked dangerous.

But my heart wouldn’t listen.

Every step felt like walking toward something I couldn’t name.

At the front desk, Steve gave my name.

They didn’t make me speak.

They didn’t ask me to explain.

The woman behind the counter smiled gently and handed me a clipboard.

I didn’t touch it.

Bucky took it for me.

Filled in every blank.

Checked every box.

“Just sign it when you’re ready,” he murmured, handing me the pen.

I scrawled my name in the corner like I was afraid it would catch fire.

The waiting room was almost empty.

Just one other person.

I sat down between them again.

Not because I needed to be protected.

But because I didn’t know how to feel normal without them.

When the door opened and my name was called, I felt my body freeze.

Steve leaned close, voice low and calm.

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to.”

Bucky rested a hand on my back.

“We’re right here.”

“I don’t—” My throat tightened. “What if I can’t do it?”

“You don’t have to do anything,” Steve said. “You just have to sit. That’s enough.”

I nodded.

Just once.

And stood.

My legs didn’t feel like they belonged to me.

But I walked through the door anyway.

The office was soft.

That was the only word I had for it.

Soft lighting. Soft chairs. Soft colors on the wall.

The woman inside—Dr. Morgan—didn’t stand. Didn’t reach out. Didn’t make me shake her hand.

She just gestured to the couch and said, “Wherever you’re comfortable.”

I sat down slowly.

Hands in my lap.

Eyes on the window.

“I’m not going to ask you to tell me your story,” she said after a while. “Not today.”

I didn’t answer.

But something in my chest shifted.

She smiled.

“Sometimes the hardest part is showing up.”

I didn’t cry.

But I wanted to.

We didn’t talk about everything.

We didn’t talk about much.

But I told her my name.

I told her that I didn’t sleep well.

I told her that sometimes I feel like I’m still stuck in a room with no doors.

And she didn’t try to fix it.

She just nodded.

Listened.

Let the silence sit when I needed it to.

When the session ended, I felt like I’d run a marathon.

My hands were sore from clenching.

My chest hurt from holding my breath.

But when I walked back into the waiting room—

They were still there.

Steve, looking up with eyes full of warmth.

Bucky, standing as soon as he saw me.

Like I was something they’d been waiting for.

Something worth waiting for.

They didn’t say, How did it go?

They didn’t ask, Did you cry?

They just stepped close.

And let me lean between them.

In the car, Bucky turned on the music without saying a word.

Steve passed me the hoodie I’d left behind.

And I held it in my lap the whole way home.

That night, I didn’t say anything at dinner.

But Steve reached across the table and tapped his knuckles gently against mine.

Bucky left a tiny white stone on my pillow.

And when I went to bed that night, I didn’t stare at the ceiling.

I closed my eyes.

And whispered, just once—

“They stayed.”

Masterlist

Request

#bucky barnes #domestic!bucky #stucky #stucky x reader #dad bucky #soft #soft bucky #bucky fluff #avengers #dad steve rogers

40 notes · View notes

minniesmutt · 1 year ago

Text

☾ ━━━━━━ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐩𝐭 𝟑

☾ ━━━ PAIRING: SEUNGMIN X READER ☾ ━━━ CONTENT: MENTION OF NIGHTMARES, THERAPY MENTIONS, TRAUMA MENTIONS, FOOD MENTIONS, MENTION OF LOVE-BOMBING, MENTION KIDNAPPING, TEASING, ABORTION MENTION, PROTECTED SEX, ORAL (F. REC), FINGERING, SCAR MENTIONS, DIRTY TALK, EXHIBITIONISM (?) ☾ ━━━ WC: 4.1K ☾ ━━━ PART ONE PART TWO ☾ ━━━ 18+ work!! minors and ageless/blank blogs DNI! you will be blocked, put an indicator on your blog somewhere that you are 18+ before interacting with this work/blog

Y/n hated the nightmares. She hated that her mind kept replaying what happened with her psycho ex or making it worse. Making up scenarios of what would've happened if she hadn’t sent the text message.

She’d awake after another nightmare. Chest filled with anxiety as she tried remembering where she was. Home. Home with Chan and Changbin down the hall. Her rooms before hers. If anything were to happen, they would hear it first.

She laid back and took some deep breaths. Recollecting herself and her thoughts. She turned in bed, holding her blankets close to her. Attempting to try and sleep again but nothing. Staring into the dark seemed to make it worse.

Y/n grabbed her phone from the bedside table and dialed the only person who could understand what she was going through.

“Hey,” Seungmin’s voice came through the speaker

“Hey,” Y/n replied

“Have another nightmare?”

Since they both had talked about the situation, they’d been helping each other. Late-night calls when neither of them could sleep were common. Just two friends that were trying to heal together. No matter how weird that word sounds when it comes to Seungmin.

“Yeah. Why are you awake?”

“Can’t sleep either.”

Y/n hummed, “How was your appointment today?”

“Alright. My ribs are pretty much healed now which is great. The doctor still wants me to wait a few weeks before I do anything strenuous or return to work.”

“Have you talked to your old job?”

“Yeah. Unfortunately, they’re fully staffed but there’s another office hiring that’s actually a little closer so I need to just reinterview there. They let the manager know my situation but it’s basically mine.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. I’m just getting a little stir-crazy at Minho’s now.”

“Mm. I feel the same. One of the guys is always here so I’m not alone which is nice but they’re starting to suffocate me.”

“You’re like their little sister. They’re just worried. But I can get where it gets annoying. Do you work tomorrow?”

“No. Off for the next two days. Just have therapy in the morning.”

“What time?”

“Ten.”

“Do you wanna go get brunch after? I can pick you up and take you too.”

“I’d like that,” Y/n smiled, even though he couldn’t see her.

“You’re smiling, aren’t you.”

“No, I’m not.”

“You forget we were dating for three years.”

“I didn’t forget.”

“So you know I know when you’re smiling or what to do when you’re sad and need cheering up.”

“You’re too observant sometimes.”

“Sometimes not enough.”

“Stop it.”

“What?”

“Blaming yourself.”

“Sorry. I was thinking about it earlier again.”

“I don’t blame you, Min. You know that, right?”

“Yeah. Just kind of blame myself a bit still…”

“I know how you feel…”

“Can I be honest with you?”

“Of course.”

“When he first had me locked up, I kept hoping you would reach out to me. Get worried about me not responding. Then the security footage started. And it broke my heart but I still hoped that you would still choose me…”

“Min…”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to unload that…”

“You know, when I met him, I was trying to forget about our break up. I wasn’t looking for a new relationship but he was so convincing and I know now he was just love-bombing me the whole time. I was heartbroken after our breakup because I only ever saw you as who I would spend the rest of my life with.”

“What would you say if I asked for another chance?”

“It’s always yes, Min.”

“I’ll keep that in mind”

The two talked until they somehow both ended up falling asleep. She woke up a few hours later with the call still running. Both got a bit of peace for once in their dreams.

Seungmin told her he’d pick her up for her appointment and left the call to get ready. Y/n let her roommates know Seungmin was picking her up and the two were going to brunch after. Chan and Changbin both smiled and said nothing Letting her get ready for her day.

Seungmin was at the door not long after she finished getting ready. She let the two know she was leaving. Seungmin was standing out the door and smiled at her. She swore she saw him rethinking leaning in to kiss her like he used to greet her.

“Ready?” He asked her.

“Yeah.”

The two walked back to the car and Seungmin opened the door for her before he walked to the other side and got in the car. She gave him directions to her therapist’s office while they discussed their plans for after. Walking up together once they got in.

“I’ll wait for you in the waiting room, okay?” Seungmin said once she was called into the office

“Okay,” Y/n nodded.

Y/n walked back into the office, sat down, and started her session. Telling her therapist about the nightmares. Talking through them and mentioning Seungmin.

“Seungmin is your ex, correct?”

“Yeah. He got kidnapped by Jeongin.”

“So both of you have gone through the same trauma in a sense?”

“Yeah. We’ve both talked to each other about what we went through separately.”

“Sometimes it does help to talk with someone who has gone through something similar.”

The session only lasted another fifteen minutes before Y/n walked out of the office. Seungmin was sitting in the waiting room waiting for her, just like he said.

“Ready?” He asked as she walked over to him.

“Yeah,” Y/n smiled

Seungmin stood and led her back to the car. Getting her in the car before him then driving off to a small restaurant. It wasn’t too busy at the moment and they quickly got seated.

Y/n really did miss Seungmin. In the quiet moments when she wasn’t being suffocated by Jeongin, she’d think about him. She was grateful Jeongin kept him alive. Even if it was painful for Seungmin.

“What are you looking at?” Seungmin asked

“Sorry,” Y/n said and looked down at her menu.

“What is it?” Seungmin asked again.

“It’s nothing. Just…”

“Just what?”

“I’m glad he kept you alive,” Y/n said, looking up at him again

“I hate you sometimes,” Seungmin groaned

“Sorry….”

“No. Not for that,” Seungmin quickly said. Reaching over the table to her and grabbing the menu from her hands, “I… I hate that you still get me flustered. And I know I’m bad at expressing my emotions and I don’t want to overwhelm you by saying what I actually want to say.”

“Didn’t you ask me for a second chance last night?” Y/n smiled, knowing what he was trying to say.

“I was sleep deprived,” Seungmin glared at her

“Whatever you say.”

Y/n smiled at him and kissed his knuckles before dropping his hands. The waiter came over a few minutes later and took their order. Leaving them alone after.

“You make it hard to kiss you right now,” Seungmin said as soon as the waiter was gone

“I haven’t done anything!” Y/n defended herself, her face getting warmer

Seungmin just smiled and reached across the table for her hands again. Raising them to his lips and kissing each of her knuckles. Taking a little longer on her left ring finger before setting her hands back on the table. Y/n looked at him as he smiled.

He teased her a little more throughout their brunch. Making her flustered just for her to fluster him back. Even their walk back to the car and the drive back to hers was a game for them. Up until he walked her up to the door.

“Thank you for today, by the way,” Y/n said as she turned to him

“Anytime,” Seungmin smiled

Y/n didn’t make any move to leave. Neither did Seungmin.

“Can I kiss you?”

“I’ll be a little mad if you don’t.”

Seungmin leaned in and pecked her lips. Quick but enough for them.

“I’m glad we’re alive,” Seungmin said

“Me too.”

“You know you two can have this conversation in Y/n’s room.” Changbin’s voice came from the video doorbell

Y/n unlocked the front door and opened it, “Seo Changbin!”

“I’m just saying!” He called from the living room

Y/n stormed in and grabbed a throw pillow. Attacking her friend with it as Seungmin followed her in, shutting the door behind him as he watched. Eventually, Changbin got the pillow away from her and got her off him.

“Finally beat Changbin,” Seungmin laughed

“You two are on thin ice,” Changbin warned

The two laughed before going up to Y/n’s room. “Looks different,” Seungmin said

“I got rid of all my old stuff. Decided to just start fresh. Couldn’t stomach the thought of looking at everything again after what happened,” Y/n replied as she hung up her bag

“I don’t blame you,” Seungmin said, taking a seat in her desk chair. “Should we talk about us?”

“I think we should just forget the last two years,” Y/n joked

“Seems like a good idea,” Seungmin replied as she sat on her bed. He scooted the chair over to her. “How about we take it slow? Slowly get back to where we were while we’re still healing a bit?”

“I like that idea.”

“Okay.” Seungmin leaned in and kissed her lips again.

Normalcy. That’s what Seungmin was to her. Her little bit of normalcy in the middle of the chaos around her. Even though they agreed to go slow, a little over a month later they were back to where they were before. Sitting on the couch at Minho’s having a movie night while he was out with Jisung. Seungmin had his arm wrapped around her as she fed him popcorn. A rom-com Netflix recommended playing on the TV.

“Getting tired?” Seungmin asked, noticing her movements slowing down a bit

“No,” Y/n lied. She’d had a presentation over Zoom before coming over and she spent the night before making sure it was perfect.

“Liar,” Seungmin chuckled as he took the popcorn bowl from her and turned off the TV. “Come on.”

Seungmin helped her up off the couch and got her to his room. Y/n followed behind him groggily. He pulled back the covers for her and helped her into the bed.

“Sleep with me?” Y/n asked as he went to pull them up over her body

“You sure?”

Y/n nodded, “Let me lock up the house real quick and text Minho.” Seungmin kissed the top of her head and walked out of the room.

He came back a few moments later with both their phones— she assumed he was texting Minho on his about the house being locked up when he came in for the night. He set both their phones on the nightstand, and then Seungmin climbed into bed with her. Covering them both with the blankets and loosely laying his arm over her waist.

Y/n turned in his arms and put her face in his chest. “I knew you were tired.” he laughed

“Mm.” Y/n huffed as he kissed her head again.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” Y/n drifted off into sleep and it was probably the best sleep she’d gotten in a while. For once, no nightmares haunted her. She felt safe again.

She woke up the next morning still in Seungmin’s arms. He was still fast asleep so she got to take the chance to admire her boyfriend up close for once. She remembered when he was released from the hospital he had the worst dark circles and multiple bruises on his face. They’d all healed and the dark circles were slowly going away.

“Why are you staring?” Seungmin’s voice said

Y/n smiled as he opened his eyes to her, “Because I can.”

“Mhm,” Seungmin groaned as he leaned in and kissed her lips, “Stop it.”

“No,” Y/n said

“Brat,” Seungmin smiled before leaning back to lips. Kissing her again as his hand lay on the middle of her back. Y/n moaned into his mouth before both of their phones started ringing. Seungmin pulled away and sat up, grabbing her phone and answering the call, seeing it was from her lawyer, and looked at his, seeing the same.

“Good morning Ms. L/n.” Y/n heard from the other end “Good morning,” Y/n replied

“I’m sorry if I woke you, but would you mind hopping on a conference call with Mr. Kim and his lawyer?”

“No, I’m actually with Mr. Kim right now.”

“Oh, perfect! How about we end this call and you listen in on his phone?”

“That works perfectly.”

Y/n hung up the call and Seungmin placed his phone on speaker.

“We’ll keep this short so you two can finally put this behind us and move on with your lives.” Seungmin’s lawyer said

“Mr. Yang has taken the plea deal.” “He did?!” Y/n said

“Yes. In pleading guilty to two counts of kidnapping, one of aggravated assault, and sexual assault, he is serving life in prison without the possibility of parole. He will not be getting out of prison.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to us.” Seungmin said as he hugged his girlfriend from the side.

“Of course. And the judge has granted you both restraining orders against him so he is legally not allowed to contact either of you.”

Y/n thanked the team of lawyers over and over again before Seungmin ended the call and turned to her. Kissing her again as she cupped his cheeks. “He’s out of our lives.” Y/n cried

“He’s locked up now,” Seungmin smiled and whipped her tears.

Y/n giggled as he kissed her nose before he got out of bed. Y/n watched him walk over to his closet and grab something, sitting back next to her.

“To a new beginning, I guess,” Seungmin said, handing her a black velvet box.

Y/n looked at him as she hesitantly took it. Seungmin smiled as she opened it and caught sight of the engagement ring. “Min.”

“I say we forget those two years now and just pick up where we left off now,” Seungmin smiled wide as he took the ring out of its box.

“Yes,” Y/n smiled

Seungmin grabbed her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. Y/n squealed and tackled him in a hug onto his back. The sound prompted a knock on the door from Minho and Jisung.

“You guys okay?” Minho asked as he opened the door.

“Couldn’t be better.” Seungmin smiled

“He took the plea deal. He’s behind bars for the rest of his life,” Y/n explained

“Thank god. I don’t know what I would do if you guys had to sit in a courtroom with him.” Jisung sighed in relief

“Yeah. I don’t want to see a courtroom until wedding day.” Seungmin said

“Wedding?!” Jisung yelled

“Look!” Y/n smiled, showing the two the engagement ring.

“Have fun celebrating,” Minho said as he shut the door.

Y/n smiled at her fiancé and pressed her lips to his again. Pecking kisses all over his face as he laughed at her. “Hey,” Seungmin chuckled before her lips were on his again

“I love you,” Y/n mumbled against his lips

“I love you too,” Seungmin mumbled back and wrapped his arms around her.

Seungmin rolled her onto her back so he was on top of her, pulling back to look at his fiancée, “You okay?” He asked

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“We haven’t done anything since we both got out and I know you had the abortion. I know it all took an emotional toll on you.”

“And having you by my side helped me heal,” Y/n reassured him. “I know you’re not him either. I trust you, Min.”

“Let me check if I even have condoms.” Seungmin got off her and checked his bedside drawers.

Y/n got up and sat on the edge of the bed just as he found a box and set it on the nightstand. “Feeling lucky?” Y/n teased

“When have you ever known me not to prepare for something?”

“Do you want me to answer that?” Y/n teased as he laid her back, his turn to smother her with kisses.

“Those two years don’t exist, remember?” he reminded her

Seungmin pressed his lips to hers. Grabbing her hands and lacing their fingers together. Laying them against the mattress and pressing his body to hers. Y/n smiled as her lips moved in sync with his.

Seungmin moved one hand to hold her side as she hooked her legs around his hips. Pulling his hips closer to her, feeling his half-hard dick against her.

“Tell me to stop if you get uncomfortable,” Seungmin breathed as his lips moved down to her neck

“You’re too good for me,” Y/n giggled

“I’m perfect for you.”

Y/n blushed as he moved his hands up her shirt. Warm skin holding her sides and not going up anymore, not sure if he should as he lightly kissed her neck. Y/n grabbed the back of his shirt as his lips ghosted a certain spot on her neck.

“There’s my favorite spot,” Seungmin mumbled as he rolled his hips against her.

“Min,” Y/n moaned

“I’m right here. Never going anywhere again.” He told her

“Need you, Min, please,” Y/n moaned

“Tell me what you want pretty.”

“Mouth.”

“Where do you want my mouth, love?”

“Eat me out, please.”

Seungmin pulled away from her and stood up. He pulled down her pajama pants, checking over her reaction as he did before he kneeled between her legs. The fabric on the floor next to him. Y/n sat up a bit on her elbows, looking down at him as he put her legs over his shoulders. He placed a kiss over her clothed clit as he looked up at her. Y/n smiled at him as his fingers curled over the waistband of the fabric and pulled it away. Adding it to the starting pile on the ground of clothes. Y/n grabbed a pillow from the bed and placed it behind her back for support as his lips wrapped around her clit.

Y/n laced her fingers through his hair as he lightly sucked on the bud. A moan left her lips as he wrapped his arms around her thighs. Holding them tightly around his head as he switched between sucking on the clit and licking with his tongue. Eyes locked onto her, watching her reactions.

Watching her head roll back from the pleasure as she gripped his hair. Y/n moaned as he pressed a kiss to her clit, tongue moving through her folds. Head knocked forward to watch him as his tongue dipped into her.

“Min,” Y/n moaned as he moved his hand down. Lips wrapped around her clit again as a finger slid into her.

Y/n laid back against the mattress as she tightened her grip on his head. Seungmin smiled as he worked on her clit. Finger slowly moving in and out of her. “More. Please min!” Y/n begged

“My baby needs another finger in her?” Seungmin teased

“Yes. Please,” Y/n moaned

Seungmin gently slipped a second finger into her. Fingers stretched her out as he sucked a little harder on her clit. Hips jolted against him as he pushed his face closer. Moaning into her— he missed being here.

Her moans were unfortunately muffled to him with her thigh pressing against his ears. But he would gladly live with that to be where he is now. His fingers spreading her open as she gripped his hair. Barley hearing her warning that she was close or his name falling from her lips like a mantra.

He felt her high coat his fingers as Y/n arched off the bed. Seungmin switched his fingers for his tongue. Cleaning her up with his tongue as he wrapped his arms around her legs. Smothering himself into her while she rode out her high. Only pulling away when he felt her push him away from the sensitivity.

“Alright still?” He asked, kissing the inside of her thighs before standing up.

“Yeah,” Y/n breathed as he pecked her lips then cheeks

“We don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

“Do you want to keep going?” Y/n asked, snaking her hands under his shirt

“I do but just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Seungmin, if you’re dick isn’t in me soon I’m going to combust.”

Seungmin laughed at her and pulled his shirt off over his head. Both of them stripping away the last bit of their clothing. Y/n noticed the healed scars littering his skin as he turned and grabbed a condom. She caught his attention when she ran her hands over the scars.

“You look sexy with the scars,” Y/n said as she looked up at him

“I wasn’t sexy before?” Seungmin asked as he tore open the foil and rolled the rubber onto his length

“You were. The scars just add a little more to it,” Y/n smiled as he leaned down.

“Glad you think so,” Seungmin smiled, lining his tip up with her entrance. Slowly, he pushed inside her. Y/n wrapped her legs around his hips. Seungmin grabbed her hands and kissed her engagement rings. Slowly sinking into her as he kissed down her arm to distract her. Ending up over her again and pressing his lips to hers. Y/n wrapped her arms around him, smiling into the kiss as he pulled his hips back. Gently rocking into her.

“Fuck, I missed this,” Seungmin groaned

“Good thing we’ve got forever now,” Y/n moaned, lacing her fingers through his dark hair.

“Not letting go of you ever again.”

Gradually, Seungmin picked up his pace. Mostly when she would beg him to go faster. Her walls slightly pulsing around him from her previous orgasm. His lips trailed down from her lips to her chest. Kissing the top of her breasts as his hips gently knocked into hers.

Her limbs tightened around him as his tip hit a specific spot inside her. A gasp leaving her and Seungmin knew. She felt his smiled against her skin as he brought a hand between their bodies. Thumb rolling along her clit as a loud moan escaped her. He angled his hips to hit that spot again and again. Y/n tried covering her moans, suddenly remember there were two other people in the house.

“Let them hear baby. Not like they don’t already know,” Seungmin teased, “Let our friends know only I get to fuck you like this for the rest of our lives.”

“‘M close,” Y/n moaned

“Just needed a little dirty talk to get you there? Huh?” Seungmin asked

“Please Minnie.”

“Missed teasing you. Always riled up to quickly when I did. Obviously you still do too.” Seungmin nipped at her skin as her legs shook around him as her walls got tighter around him, “Gonna cum for me baby?”

“Yes!” Y/n cried just before her orgasm came crashing down.

Seungmin kept his pace as she rode out her high. Waiting for her limps to loosen arond him and her body go limp against the bed just a bit before he came in the condom. Slowing his thrusts till he was full inside her and let the rubber fill while he came down.

Both of them taking a minute to catch their breaths again. Seungmin wrapped his arms around her waist and laid his head in her neck for a moment. “I love you. So much.” Seungmin mumbled

“I love you too,” Y/n kissed the side of his head as she held him close.

“Bath?” Seungmin asked

“Yes please,” Y/n agreed

Seungmin stood straight and pulled out of her. He took of the rubber and made she it didn’t break before tying it off and tossing it. He gave her a t-shirt as he threw on a pair of boxers before bringing her to the bathroom. He ran them a bath and let her do her little thing while he grabbed more clothes for them. Y/n took care of the bath till he came back in and took over. Pulling her in with him once it was ready. Seungmin wrapped his arms around her as the warm water surrounded them.

“I know I just proposed but, what do you think about moving in together?” Seungmin asked

“I think that’s a great idea,” Y/n smiled and kissed his arms

“Start looking after a nap?” He asked

“You read my mind.”

☾ ━━━━━━ M.LIST TIP JAR

☾ ━━━ please support writers by reblogging and/or leaving feedback

☾ ━━━ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒: @lakoya @lilyuwon @caitlyn98s @puppyminnnie @gimmeurtummy

@innieandsungielover @rylea08 @20crowsinahoodie @kpopsstuffs @moonlight-the-writer

@seungmonggg @fearnotfimmie @the-sweetest-rose @stars-garden @bandolls

@asahisimpnation @vegetablesarefuntables @bl00dyv3inss @avyskai @kangyeonie

@ninisoul-space @dessianna1 @aaliyaoaoah @palindrome969 @realrintaro

@tinyelfperson @minhwa @redstayrosie @caravm @armystay89

@skzhoes @kiko-o-luck @cookiesandcreammy @alice-went-away @boldy-49

@rockstarkkami @wh0re4mingi @rhonnie23 @hrskt @emollvvr-blog

@tinys0ftie @soulphoenix1618 @highkeyinlovewithhanjisung @nahitzstacyy @palindrome969

@thatgirlkay @borahae-reads @vuodbdks @linocvp1d @chartrucewhore

#☾━━━━ [𝐊𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐀 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄𝐒]#stray kids x reader #stray kids #skz x reader #stray kids x reader smut #skz x reader smut #skz smut #stray kids smut #seungmin x reader #seungmin x reader smut #seungmin smut #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin smut #kim seungmin x reader smut

152 notes · View notes

cosmereplay · 1 year ago

Text

Kaladin Didn’t Invent Therapy (And Why That’s Actually Great)

“...You need someone to talk to, Noril, when the darkness is strong. Someone to remind you the world hasn’t always been this way; that it won’t always be this way.” “How do you … know this?” Noril asked. “I’ve felt it,” Kaladin said. “Feel it most days.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

I’m writing as someone with a background in psychotherapy and peer support, and I'm bursting with excitement about one of my favourite topics. You can imagine why I love Kaladin’s arc in Rhythm of War so much! I actually yelled out loud when I read some of these parts the first time.

I’ve seen people online saying and making jokes that Kaladin invents therapy, and while that could eventually be true, what Kaladin actually invented in RoW is mental health peer support. Psychotherapy as most people would understand it simply doesn’t exist yet on Roshar. However, peer support is a legitimate modality for healing on its own merits. Even more importantly for the story, peer support is something Kaladin would personally really benefit from, and it fits his narrative arc way better than therapy would.

1. Therapy as we know it won’t exist for a while yet.

“We need to study their responses, use an empirical approach to treatment instead of just assuming someone who has suffered mental trauma is permanently broken.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy “Someone needs to talk to them, try different treatments, see what they think works. What actually helps.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25 Devotary of Mercy

Obviously, Kaladin has not been educated in battle shock or melancholia or any other diagnosis. In Alethkar there's hardly any knowledge to be had on the subject. Even now in real life, research into effective interventions for various diagnoses is still ongoing, over 100 years after modern therapy was founded.

Building an empirical knowledge base* will take time, not to mention the years it will take to train new therapists across Roshar in how to provide interventions specific to various issues. Therapy as we know it today generally includes time in mentorship with another therapist, so in a way, the first therapist isn't a therapist. 😅 In the meantime, there are people who need help today, including Kaladin.

Peer support can fill that gap because its knowledge base is different. Peers bring their expertise, which is their years of trial and error, successes and failures - their lived experience. Peer facilitators need to know the basics of managing a group, and they have to be willing to share their own experiences and learn from the group. Thus, training peer leaders is relatively quick, and incredibly scalable and adaptable across cultures and many issues/diagnoses.

2. Peer Support is a distinct path to recovery that doesn’t require an expert in therapy.

Kaladin located six men in the sanitarium with similar symptoms. He released them and got them working to support each other. He developed a plan, and showed them how to share in ways that would help...Today they sat in seats on the balcony outside his clinic. Warmed by mugs of tea, they talked. About their lives. The people they’d lost. The darkness. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding “While you can’t force it, having someone to talk to usually helps. You should be letting him meet with others who feel like he does.” - Rhythm of War, Ch. 25, Devotary of Mercy

Kaladin is already positioning himself to align with the values of peer support. Some of these values overlap with therapy, such as dignity, respect, inclusion, hope, and trust. What makes peer support different is a particular emphasis on equal relationships, self-determination, and personal growth (Peer Support Canada, 2022).

In peer support, the group facilitator is not considered an authority like a therapist would be. A peer leader may be further on the road to recovery, but they may not be. They are expected to listen and grow just like any other group member.

Because the leader of the group is also a learner, peer support groups tend to be more collaborative and open-ended. Everyone in the group has something they can take out of it and something to give. Everyone in the group is responsible for managing their own self care, and everyone in the group is responsible for the direction of their own growth. This is different from most therapy groups, which often have a specific focus or goal that the therapist is responsible for implementing. And speaking of responsibility...

3. Peer Support Fits Kaladin’s Narrative Arc Better than Therapy

At his father’s recommendation—then insistence—Kaladin took it slowly, confining his initial efforts to men who shared similar symptoms. Battle fatigue, nightmares, persistent melancholy, suicidal tendencies. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding …he’d learned—these last few months—that his battle shock could take many forms. He was getting to where he could confront it. -Rhythm of War, Ch. 39 Invasion

I think everyone can agree that Kaladin needs to participate in therapy just as much as the other battle-shocked men he finds in the Devotary of Mercy.

However, in therapy, the focus is solely on the needs of the clients. A therapist should not be distracted by their own issues (when this happens, it’s called countertransference). Further, therapy is generally framed such that the therapist is the only expert in the room, which means therapists have a higher level of responsibility for how the clients are doing (which varies depending on the issue, the therapy modality, and the circumstances).

In his own recovery, Kaladin is working on trying to take less responsibility for others, so setting him up as a therapeutic authority could be harmful for him. In a position of authority, he might be tempted to replicate the hierarchical structure he was in before (which would impede his own growth), or try to save everyone (which could impede everyone's growth). He simply doesn’t have the mentorship or knowledge base he'd need to work through those issues before leading as an expert.

In contrast, the point of peer support is the mutual sharing of lived experience. The group facilitator is expected to share their own struggles (as a model of recovery), and allow others to support them. In the context of a more balanced power dynamic, Kaladin can give the other group members the space they need to grow, and he can pursue his own recovery without feeling like he’s letting others down. Also, he will be able to leave the group during KOWT without worrying that the group won't be able to run without him. Everyone in the group carries some responsibility for each other, so group members can come and go with less stress than a change in therapist would cause in group therapy.

This is the beauty of peer support. It can happen anywhere people with similar experiences get together. No formal education is required. What is required is a willingness to know yourself as well as you can; to share your experiences; to listen to others tell their stories; to question your own assumptions as you learn how others handle things differently; to look out for each other's safety; to care.

Peer support creates a place of belonging and a community repository of shared wisdom. Kaladin almost had it on Bridge Four, but his position of authority wouldn’t allow him to grow the way he needed. Peer support is what Kaladin needs - he needs a place where he can take off his armour among people who get it because they're struggling with similar issues, and without having a position of responsibility over them. When he (eventually**) attends the groups, they help him grow!

Anyway, that's why Kaladin didn’t invent therapy, and why I think that's great.

For the men chatting together softly, the change was in being shown sunlight again. In being reminded that the darkness did pass. But perhaps most important, the change was in not merely knowing that you weren’t alone—but in feeling it. Realizing that no matter how isolated you thought you were, no matter how often your brain told you terrible things, there were others who understood. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 33 Understanding

---

*Funny enough, empirical research could lead Rosharan researchers right back to peer support. Empirical research on Earth has shown that modern therapy and peer support have similar levels of effectiveness (for example, for depression and PTSD).

**Look who’s resisting attending the groups he founded…KALADIN!! (shakes fist in the general direction of the sky) (This is the most relatable passage for me in this whole book, by the way, helper types unite lmao):

Kaladin looked down at the table. Had it? Had talking to Noril helped? “He’s been avoiding joining in,” Teft said. “I haven’t,” Kaladin snapped. “I’ve been busy.” Teft gave him a flat stare. Storming sergeants. They always heard the things you weren’t saying. - Rhythm of War, Ch. 38 Rhythm of the Terrors

Peer Support Canada. (2022). Peer Support Core Values. Accessed from https://peersupportcanada.ca/ Jun 27, 2022.

#I shared this on reddit a while ago but it got archived so here #enjoy #this is not an april fools thing this is just bad timing on my part #kaladin stormblessed #rhythm of war #row spoilers #kaladin didn't invent therapy #peer support #stormlight archive #the stormlight archive #stormlight essay #stormlight meta #god i love kaladin so much

200 notes · View notes