#I had the right response but overthought it

[vicolette]

Model Run !

– A/N : gen how do I come up with this

– Warnings : English isn’t my first language, mentions of y/n, reader has NO shame lol, suggestive jokes, flirting, not proofread

"Uh, excuse me?"

The trio went quiet at the sound of an unfamiliar voice, making Hector turn his head around to face a girl around his age, holding a hoodie up in one hand and her phone in the other.

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrow as he wondered what she could possibly want from him, seeing how she was looking down for a second before her gaze went up and back towards him, when she suddenly examined how he looked like.

"How tall are you?"

Silence. A pin could be heard being dropped, if there were even any pins in the store, as Hector furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Lamine, who stood beside him, snickered before he said a small apology, whereas Pau accidentally let out an exhale resembling laughter.

"Uhm… like, 1.85 meter… why?" In response, you nodded your head and looked back down at your phone screen and firstly now did he realize that you were messaging someone, only getting more confused.

"And your size?" Hector pretty much choked on nothing at the question, to which Lamine nudged him hard with a big grin, making him rub his elbow before wondering what you had meant.

Just then, Pau rolled his eyes at the two teenagers and got behind Hector, checking the size of the shirt that he was wearing. "XL, why?"

"Oh, great!" You sounded rather enthusiastic about the new information as you held up the plain white hoodie up, making Hector notice that you had tons of other stuff being held by your arm. "Could you please try this out? My brother wants something like this, but I don’t know if it will suit him."

Oh, Hector parted his lips in realization, having thought that you must have been crazy for randomly walking up to him and ask such stupid questions – or you were an odd fan, now it makes sense...

"You guys cool with that?" He turned around to face both of his friends, seeing how Pau mindlessly nodded his head, whereas Lamine rolled his eyes and frowned, before he got an idea.

"Only if you give us a model run!" He stated proudly, making Hector facepalm before he faced you again. It seemed like you truly wanted him to try them on, so it couldn't be that bad, right?

It was that bad. Worse, than Hector had ever thought.

His expression showed one of displeasure while Lamine was laughing with tears in his eyes, wanting to take pictures, yet you thankfully stopped him.

"Can I make some adjustments?" A mere nod was all that you got as a reply, yet it was enough to confirm his permission. So, as you approached him and carefully rolled his sleeves up, you couldn't see the way his cheeks were heating up in embarrassment.

One step back, and Hector had already missed your warmth – the way just the close proximity between the two of you had hugged him like an embrace – it was ridicilous. And his friends were seeing this and living the moment.

"Wow, how handsome, right?" Pau teasingly called out, not being to stop himself. However, when you nodded in response and smiled at Hector, Pau could only cough a bit as to hide his laughter.

"Can you try the last one out, too? Pretty please?" He awkwardly nodded his head and looked at the other clothes that you had handed him over, entering the small dressing room once again, all while hearing Lamine compliment him a little too loud. He knew their plan.

They were so obviously trying to embarrass him.

Hector wanted to bang his head against the wall – or mirror, since he was facing it – but instead, he decided to let out a heavy exhale and take the jacket off alongside with the shirt. As he took a moment calm his racing heart down by not moving, his face was getting hotter by the second.

This was humiliating.

While trying on a navy blue pullover with a white blouse underneath, Hector overthought about every single choice he had mede in life that brought him here. He should've cancelled, should've said 'no', should've never become friends with such devils.

Whatever. As long as a (pretty) girl was watching, everything else was fine.

Nonetheless, once Hector stepped out once again, he could feel both your enthusiasm and the shame returning to him by meeting Lamine's gaze.

"Go, Hector! Give us a model run!" Surprisingly, or maybe unsurprisingly, the said person was actually quite good at walking like a model, having a semi neutral expression on as he approached you three. "Woohoo!"

"Can you guys be-"

"My standards are too high now." A chuckle left from your mouth as you shook your head, the sentence making Hector facepalm before he sadly blushed and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"If my brother doesn't look good in them, then it's your fault."

"Oh." Lamine snapped his head to face Pau at Hector's answer, who let out a shaky breath and looked down to the floor, struggling to keep his laughter as silent as he possibly could. "I'm sure he'll look... uh, fine."

"Not as fine as you." You not-so-innocently tilted your head to the side, knowing damn well that you were shamelessly flirting with a professional athlete, but how could you resist? You weren’t blind – the way he was acting was proof enough that he was shy.

Now, as you watched how Hector struggled to come up with an answer, you looked at him up and down to see if it would fit your brother, then taking your phone out.

"Gimme your number. I'll send you photos of whether or not they'll suit him."

You both – or rather four – knew that you wouldn’t send him a single photo of your idiotic older brother wearing some random clothes.

Hector took his phone out, when the realization firstly then hits, quietly groaning under his breath at how flustered he was getting under your spell. But who was he, if not Hector – the oh so flirty, handsome guy?

"Make sure to send me them as soon as possible."

"Will do."

– A/N : 1.85 m = 6,06 ft 11,465 in (my Keyboard did this idk if it’s true), also idk what his clothes size is. Thisissocorny

[cokoweee]

I was thinking about how you said your next animatic/animation would focus on Kendra’s POV, and it does make me wonder…

The comic is told with some perspective of Kendra’s and Donnie’s thoughts, but not all. So I do wonder if there is an internal monologue Kendra is hiding where even she tries to ignore it?

She mentioned how she won’t can’t go home, because of her past crimes and perceived judgment from her family, because she was barely scraping by on her own despite her incredible intelligence and ingenuity.

She has enough care to provide protection for herself (taser) and maintain her appearance, but still put herself at risk with weekly, random sugar daddy dates.

Kendra has to exude confidence or the world would eat her up, but she possibly has a very fragile view of herself. She only partakes occasionally in tech and computers now, whether from therapy or a fear of reverting, so she holds herself back from things that gave her passion.

She first starts kicking Donnie out of his bed, because she possibly saw herself at her lowest and it gutted her to see someone who was her equal in smarts, computing, and cavalier literally rotting away.

She tries using techniques she learned in therapy and is frustrated when they seemingly don’t work.

And even though she gets irate with Donnie’s depression, she still tries to initiate conversation even if snarky. Because Donnie biting back is better than him staring at her with his soulless gaze.

So because of all this Kendra could start feeling this bond with someone she can relate to on the smallest scale.

And now this person is pushing her away.

For now, she thinks it’s from irritation over the lake incident.

When she finds out it’s because she’s not “one of them”, Donnie’s afraid, she might break…or run away… or fall into a deeper depression of her own.

(Why is this always 3 am!?)

Mmm yes 3am asks like this are what keep me munching on this comic ngl

There is a thick bit I don’t write/show to y’all for a couple reasons. Either it’s uninteresting or it’s a difficult-ish thing to write/draw. Emotions are difficult for me but I do the best I can. I’m better at faces rather than words.

You’re pretty spot on with how she is yuh. I’m struggling with words but sumthin sumthin she does the most of what she thinks she deserves. Also despite not wanting to admit it she rlly is kinda attached to everyone around her now. It rlly is gunna suck if they truly decide to leave without her

If there’s more to add someone add cause I forgot how words work😩😩😩

[rafesbabygirlx]

ONLINE LOVE | 𝙸𝚗𝚝𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚎𝚍

𝚂𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚎𝚍𝚊𝚍!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝙰𝚄

𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏 - 𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎’𝚜 𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚛 𝚖𝚘𝚗𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚞𝚎.

𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 | 𝙰𝚄 𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

Rafe had never been one for love. He screwed probably every kook girl around his age and then showed them to the door once he was done with them. No one on the island batted him an eye anymore. Not even his daughter's mother. When she dropped the sleeping baby off at his doorstep 2 years ago and never looked back. He honestly wouldn't even remember her name, if it weren't on Harper's birth certificate.

Now, being 27, a single father, all alone at Tannyhill, he wanted more for his love life. Wheezie and Rose are gone, Sarah hates him, Ward is dead. The only sense of love is what he gets from his little Harper, his now 3 year old. She's showed him unconditional love. He's become the biggest softy when it comes to her.

He’s done his soul searching, attempts at dating on the island. His reputation precedes him. He wanted nothing but to find someone who could love both him and Harper. So he did what he’d never thought he’d do. He downloaded Hinge.

He set up his profile. Added photos. One business, one fun, one sexy. Overthought all his answers before hitting complete. One thing he didn’t overthink was his location. He set it for a city out in mainland North Carolina.

He didn’t match with anyone for the first few days. Even when he got so desperate and rapid swiped right at 2 am. Even when he couldn’t believe how no one would want someone like Rafe Cameron. He didn’t even care anymore. He just wanted a match.

It wasn’t until he got to your profile. He was completely enamored. The photos of you were gorgeous. He even found himself giggling at some of your responses to the prompts given by the app.

He sat on the couch, brushing his hand through Harpers hair as she rests against his chest playing with her dolls. He was nervous. He knew why. This was a big step for him, even more so now. He didn't know if it was stupid or not but he didn't plan on mentioning Harper until things were serious with someone. But you had this look about you that didn't scream "avoid."

He held his breath and swiped right on you. Much to his disbelief, he matched with you immediately. He got nervous all over again, yet took the plunge and messaged you first.

7:02pm: Hi, I’m Rafe. It’s nice to meet you.

“God, could you sound more like an idiot?” He muttered to himself right before he hit send. He put his phone down not wanting to obsess over a response from you. 10 minutes later he heard his phone buzz on the coffee table.

7:12pm: Hi Rafe! I’m y/n. It’s very nice to meet you too. Tell me a little about yourself.

He felt a little at ease seeing your response. It was similar to his and simple. Maybe he didn’t come off as big of a dope as he thought he did. But how the hell was he supposed to talk about himself? He’d never been in the talking stage before, even at 27 this was all way too new for him.

7:14pm: Sure. I’m from the Outer Banks. I took over my father’s company a few years ago after he passed. I’ve been running it for 5 years. I live in the same house I grew up in. And… my favorite color is green. How about you?

Pathetic, Rafe you’re pathetic.

7:15pm: You live in the Outer Banks? It says you live in my city. Weird. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shit…

7:15pm: Anyways! I’m from Toronto originally. I came to North Carolina to go to school for medicine. UNC has one of the top programs. I’m currently in my first year of interning. I’m hoping to stay in NC once I’m complete.

7:15pm: Oh and also my favorite color is pink! Not a crayola crayon pink. A specific type of pink. Soft, kinda like a soft natural pink. But not a salmon, that’s too orange.

Jesus, she is cute. Smart and beautiful. She’s already so comforting. That’s crazy right? It doesn’t help I already look like a liar. How could I slip up that fast? Play it cool, Rafe.

7:16pm: I was in the area a couple weeks back. I had changed my location when I was there. I must’ve forgotten to change it back when I got home. Hope it’s ok.

I’m already lying. This is so bad.

7:17pm: Totally fine I get it! I don’t mind it. OBX really isn’t far. My roommate and I spent a few days there last summer. We loved it! Plus, is it bad I’m already enjoying talking to you? You might be the first normal guy I’ve matched with.

7:18pm: Yeah this place has its charm. I’m glad you liked it! And thanks for understanding. I’m not gonna lie, I’m new to this whole dating app thing and you’re the first person I matched with. I’m glad it was you and I’m glad you’re enjoying it too.

7:19pm: I am I really am. But listen, I only have a 10 min break which ends in a minute. I won’t get off until early in the morning. really would like to continue talking to you, Rafe. Get to know each other more. Here’s my Instagram- @/futuredr.yn. Message me there. Hinge’s messaging sucks. lol

7:19pm: I hope you have a really nice night. 🥰

7:20pm: I’ll go add you now, future doctor lol. You have a nice night too. Can’t wait to talk again.

Rafe couldn’t believe how content he felt after just a 10 min conversation. It’s like you put some sort of spell on your profile that made him want to fall in love with you.

He spent a few minutes searching through your photos. You back home, your med school graduation, photos of your cat. Funny enough, photos of your trip to OBX. You at the boneyard, eating at the Wreck, drinking at the country club. He liked a couple of those photos, not caring to make it obvious he snooped hit follow then went upstairs to bring Harper to bed.

4:04am: @/futuredr.yn started following you

4:04am: @/futuredr.yn liked your photo

4:05am: @/futuredr.yn liked your photo

4:05am: @/futuredr.yn sent a message

𝚊/𝚗: 𝚍𝚊𝚢𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚍 𝙸 𝚖𝚊𝚝𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝙳𝚛𝚎𝚠 𝚘𝚗 𝚁𝚊𝚢𝚊 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚏 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚒𝚝. 𝚃𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚎’𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚋𝚝𝚠.

𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝. 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚋𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝙰𝚄 - 𝚒𝚖 𝚊𝚕𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚊 𝚙2 𝚜𝚘 𝚒𝚍𝚔 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚒'𝚖 𝚊𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐

tags + some moots

@rafestoothbrush @weluvwbb @itsforeverandalwayz @butterfly-ibuki @megiiite @siredbtches @bigenergy777 @aupernatural-teenwolflover @rafegf-real @skywalker0809 @snowtargaryen @kieeslove @leather-n-velvet @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @rafesgreasycurtainbangs @diasnohibng @slurpdew @alphabetically-deranged @whydoesthemirrorhateme @currentresidentinhell @slut-4-rafey @akobx @rafesheaven @laniirackssss @jjmaybankmylovee @slut4you @nemesyaaa @frankoceanluvr11 @maybankslover @writingroom21 @maybejj @whytheylosttheirminds @drewsephrry @cameronsprincess @cherrywriterrr

[coffeedepressionsoup]

Somebody Does Love | MYG - Will They, Won't They

Pairing - Yoongi x F!reader

Summary - "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Two people are in love but that is not enough because sometimes loving requires courage.

This is the one where they take a brave step forward. Part 8 of Somebody Does Love.

Series Masterlist

Genre - fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut and angst

Word count - 2.4k+

Warnings - kissing, lovesick and anxious Yoongi, that's about it

Ratings - 13+

Taglist: @majiiisstuff @starlighttaek8 @yoongrace @proudnoona @7ndipity

A/N - Yes, I am alive. No, I did not abandon this story. Just, life happened. Ofc, not proofed (lol when is it ever). Just wholesome moments, really. Hope you like it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The kiss had been perfect—sweet and electrifying. For a brief moment, it felt like time had stopped to give them those precious few moments. The moment their lips met, it was like the world shifted. For a second, Yoongi forgot how to breathe, think, or do anything but feel.

This is real.

He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it. For so long, he’d convinced himself that this was one-sided, that the way his heart raced when she laughed, the way his chest ached when she was near him, was his burden to carry alone. He’d hidden it, buried it beneath layers of careful excuses and overthought jokes. Or so he thought. She does not see you like that, he’d told himself, over and over, like a mantra.

But here she was, her lips against his, soft and warm and so awfully real it made his head spin.

She kissed him! Scratch that. She kissed him first! She. Kissed. Him. First!

A swell of disbelief surged in his chest. Was he imagining this? Was this some cruel trick of his mind, conjured by weeks of wishing and hoping in secret? His heart pounded so loudly he was sure Y/N could feel it too. He almost pulled away, afraid that the slightest shift would implode this extremely intimate moment and consume them whole.

But then she leaned in closer, her hands resting firmly against his lower back, grounding him. The touch was deliberate, sure.

She wants this too.

The realisation swept over him like a tidal wave, an overwhelming mix of exhilaration and fear. Fear of what this meant and euphoria for all that could come. For all the sleepless nights he’d spent dreaming about this, it still felt too good to be true. He wanted to laugh at himself for doubting it, for letting his insecurities keep him in the shadows.

Her lips moved steadily against his, and it felt like a quiet answer to every unspoken question, a silent assurance against all trepidation. He wasn’t dreaming. She was here, with him, choosing him.

How did I get this lucky?

He opened his eyes slowly, breaking the kiss momentarily, half afraid she’d disappear if he let her go. But her keen gaze accompanied by a low complaining moan dared him to believe that there was a feeling akin to affection floating between them. Maybe even more than that.

He blinked, swallowing hard, before pulling Y/N flush against him and diving in for another kiss. When they parted next, Yoongi could not hold back his smile as he said, “I waited so long to do that.”

Taken aback by a soft “Me too, actually,” with a flustered smile, he stared back, unmovingly, for a bit. Surely, Y/N in his arms, gushing in the aftermath of a kiss seemed too good to be true. The way his mind was racing between what would be and what would not have been if he had not followed her out onto this deck almost choked him up.

However, he could feel all the ifs and buts wiping away from his cognition as Y/N leaned slightly to peck him right by his mouth. Not on, just next to his lips. Yoongi kept his head lowered, trying to bite back a full grin.

When he found the courage to look into her eyes again, she asked, “You want to take a walk?”

Of course, he did. He did not trust his voice yet, so he nodded in response and let out an unmindful sigh. As they turned to walk down to the beach, Yoongi tried to quiet his thudding heart and reached out to hold Y/N’s hand. It seemed like the only natural thing to do. Almost instinctively, their fingers wrapped around each other. Yoongi could live in this moment forever. Nothing more, nothing less. Just the absolution of being wanted by Y/N, the sober affirmation of her hand in his.

But the moment shattered as thunder rolled overhead, a warning drumbeat that quickly turned into a deafening roar. A flash of lightning cut through the night, momentarily blinding Yoongi and Y/N, and shrouding the beach in a dense darkness.  

As Yoongi blinked quickly to acclimate to the lack of light, he realised that the power had gone off. All electronic lights were out. 

At that moment, after what seemed to be aeons, both Yoongi and Y/N realised that they were on the deck of Hajoon’s beach house. All their friends were still inside. Hand in hand still, their phones’ flashlights alight in the other, they turned to walk back into the house. 

The house was alive with chaos. 

“Do we have candles?” someone yelled from the kitchen.  

“Who left the window open in the kitchen? I think I saw something jump in!”  

“I swear I just saw something move—was that the wind, or do we have a fox in here?!”  

Yoongi and Y/N exchanged glances, barely visible to the other as most lights were directed to the floor. Her gaze managed to calm something in him, despite the mayhem around them.  

“Who lit this candle?!” Another voice, muffled but distinctly annoyed, came from the hallway. “It smells like... vanilla? We hate vanilla!”  

Someone tripped over a forgotten board game on the floor, letting out a startled yelp. 

The chaos in the house only seemed to intensify. The wind howled, slamming the shutters of the windows that hadn’t been latched properly. Someone cursed loudly from the living room, followed by the sound of a heavy object hitting the ground.

“Yoongi! Is that you?” Hajoon appeared in the dim light, his face barely visible as a flashlight beam bobbed from his hand. “Could you check the back patio? Something’s banging against the railing—it might be that cooler we left out.”

Yoongi hesitated. His fingers still tangled with Y/N’s, he felt her slight squeeze before she let go, her hand slipping away like an afterthought.

“I’ll help,” Y/N volunteered, her voice steady despite the flutter of nerves she was trying to suppress.

Hajoon nodded and led her away, leaving Yoongi, standing awkwardly in the doorway. A mixture of relief and regret settled in his chest as he watched her go, her phone’s flashlight bobbing with each step.

“Yoongi! Get in here!” another voice, possibly Aera, hollered, and he turned toward the kitchen.

As the storm raged outside, the night dissolved into a blur of small tasks and distractions. Y/N was roped into helping Hajoon and the others secure the house, close windows, and retrieve candles from forgotten drawers. Yoongi found himself sidetracked by someone’s misplaced luggage, searching for dry towels when a window leaked rainwater onto the hallway floor.

Their paths did not cross again that night.

Each time Yoongi caught a glimpse of her—a fleeting shadow in the flicker of candlelight, the curve of her silhouette against a flashlight beam—his chest tightened. Every time she looked his way, her lips parted as if she had something to say, but the moment never presented itself.

By the time the house finally settled into an uneasy quiet, the storm having dulled into a steady rain, Yoongi retreated to one of the small guest rooms, unable to keep up with another round of candlelight reverse Uno. He leaned against the closed door, exhaling shakily as the memory of the kiss surfaced again. It felt both surreal and inescapable.

What now?

His phone’s screen glowed faintly in the dark, but every time he thought of texting her, the words crumbled before they could form.

The storm had left the air crisp and clean, the horizon glowing faintly as the first rays of sunlight spilt over the ocean. Yoongi wrapped his arms around himself, pulling the overshirt closer together, as he stepped onto the beach, the cool morning breeze making him shiver slightly. The house was still and quiet, its occupants likely exhausted from the night before.

He walked slowly along the shoreline, his feet sinking into the damp sand. The events of the previous night played on an endless loop in his mind—the kiss, the storm, the chaos that had swept them apart. And now, the question he had avoided asking himself lingered stubbornly in his chest.

What now?

“Hey.”

The voice was soft but unmistakable. He turned to see Y/N standing a few steps behind him, her hands shoved into the pockets of her sweatpants. Her hair was mussed, her eyes slightly puffy from lack of sleep, but she still managed to look disarmingly charming.

“Hey,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Couldn’t sleep?” she asked, stepping closer.

He shook his head. “You?”

“Not a chance.”

For a moment, they just stood there, the silence between them broken only by the gentle crash of the waves. Finally, Y/N gestured toward the shoreline. “Walk with me?”

He hesitated but nodded, falling into step beside her.

“I thought about texting you last night,” Yoongi began after a while. “But I didn’t know what to say.”

“I thought about it too,” Y/N admitted, kicking at a stray shell in the sand. “But... it felt like something we needed to talk about in person.”

He glanced at her, his expression unreadable. “Yeah. I think you’re right.”

The pause that followed felt heavier this time, the air between them thick with unspoken words.

“Yoongi,” she said finally, her voice trembling slightly. “I don’t regret it. The kiss. I just... I don’t know what to do now.”

His steps slowed, and he turned to face her fully. “Neither do I,” he said honestly. “But I know how I feel about you. I’ve known for a while now.”

Her breath caught, her eyes searching his for any hint of doubt. She found none.

“It’s just…” Y/N started, then sighed, her words faltering under the weight of her thoughts. She hugged herself, as though bracing against the morning chill—or perhaps against the vulnerability she felt in that moment. “You’re... you. And I don’t know-” she sighed to a stop and looked up at Yoongi. She was scared she would find some amount of resentment. What she saw instead, was the opposite. Understanding. An empathetic look that tugged at her heart.

“I get it,” he said quietly, his voice almost lost in the rhythm of the waves. “I’ve seen what it does to people—people I care about. It’s messy and exhausting, and mostly it’s unfair.” He paused, running a hand through his hair. Of course, he knew. He knew the cost of it all. He was terrified that if they decided to pursue a relationship, a lot could go wrong, and things could end horribly. However, as he looked at Y/N and the early morning light on her slightly frowning face, the thought of not trying at all scared him even more. 

“But I also know what it feels like to meet someone who makes all of that seem small. And the way I feel about you?” His voice grew softer still. “That’s worth figuring it out. Worth trying.”

Her lips parted, but no words came out. She turned her gaze to the horizon, the sunlight dancing on the waves as if mocking the storm within her. “And what if it’s not?” she whispered, more to herself than to him. 

“What do you mean?” he urged, voice still so soft, it would be inaudible if they hadn’t moved to stand so close.

Y/N reached out for Yoongi’s hands and he drew in a long, shaky breath, sighing at the sense of reassurance the small but significant gesture provided him.  

“What if I can’t deal with it all?” she asked, looking away from his eyes, down to their joined hands between them.

Yoongi squeezed Y/N’s hands, in an attempt to comfort her. “I can say that you won’t have to deal with anything alone. I know I am asking for a chance from a selfish place-”

“That’s not-” she tried to interrupt but Yoongi continued, bringing her right hand up to his lips, to leave a small peck, “I am not saying anything we decide to do will be easy to pursue. It may change a lot of things.”

His startling honesty made her look back up at him. “But not trying would change us too, wouldn’t it?” he asked.

Her eyes flickered between his eyes, and for a moment, the fortress she attempted to build with logic and rationale, faltered. “Yoongi…” she began again, but the words stuck in her throat. Her gaze shifted down to the sand beneath their feet again. 

The man she was addressing stayed quiet, allowing her the space to gather her thoughts.

“I like you Yoongi, I like you a lot. Every time we say goodbye, I wonder when we will see each other again. I feel like a teenager with a crush,” Y/N let out a chuckle. Yoongi joined in, his heart soaring with identical ruminations.

“Every time I look at you, I want to hold your hand, keep your arm in mine and talk to you about anything  and everything all at once,” Y/N gave his hands a slight squeeze and added, “But I am scared that won’t be enough.”

“Y/N,” he said, his voice calm but firm. “That is more than enough, more than what I should be asking of you, honestly,” he added. “I know what you’re scared of. I hate that my life could make you feel that way. But I am just me. To you, that is all I want to be. Just me. Just Yoongi.”

Her breath hitched, his words cutting through the noise in her head.

“Yoongi?” He loved the way she said his name. He hummed in response. 

“Can I ask you to do one thing?” Y/N sounded hesitant.

“Of course, anything you want,” he said without missing a beat.

Y/N looked him in the eyes again, before inching closer and dropping her forehead against his. Yoongi sighed in comfort, as he nudged her hands to rest around him, before entangling her in a similar embrace like the night before.

Sniffling slightly, Y/N said in the softest voice yet, “Please be honest with me.” Seeing a slight frown on Yoongi’s face, she explained, “No matter what happens, good or bad, if things need changing or redoing. Just be upfront about it all, be completely honest. Always.”

“I can try to live up to that,” Yoongi murmured back.

“Okay then,” Y/N sighed out.

“Okay” Yoongi let out a small laugh. “Also Y/N?”

It was her turn to hum in response. “I like you too, by the way, in case it was not clear. And I am scared too but I like you too damned much. So much more than I can explain right now. But I hope I can show it to you every day, starting now.”

Yoongi swore he saw a blush spread across her face and not just the lights of dawn reflecting. Y/N could indeed feel her face burn as she groaned and chuckled at once, hiding her face in his chest. He welcomed the move and held her tighter in his arms if that was possible. 

As Yoongi stood by the vast sea, with Y/N in his arms, staring at the calm, blue sky, he felt a raging storm within him quiet down.

[thebenjiblackwoodexpress]

Devil's Snare part.5

Aemond Targaryen x reader

Description: Aemond introduces Y/N to his mother as his betrothed, much to the displeasure of Otto Hightower. The strength of their love for one another is tested by the whispers which spread throughout the court of the one-eyed Prince and his strange choice to wed his handmaiden. All the while, Aemond is insistent that Y/N meet Vhagar.

Previous part

Writer's note: I am so sorry this took so long! I had major writer's block and overthought the hell out of it. Its giving "started making it, had a breakdown, bon appetit" for the people who get that reference 😂. Also wanted to avoid HOTD content when the leaks happened. We finally get the wedding in this part so shout out to @ateliefloresdaprimavera this one's for you! Unsure whether you guys want this to continue into the dance of dragons plot, I might need to diverge from canon. I thought I'd do a Lord of the Tides part next as a test run.

Warnings: female reader, canon typical misogyny, slut shaming, Granny Vhagar (in the flesh this time), sexual innuendo but no smut (sorry, I just don't read it so don't think I could write it well), lengthy as always.

Y/N felt nervous butterflies fluttering against her ribcage as Aemond led her along the halls of the Red Keep to his mother's chambers, grounded only by the feel of his hand wrapped around hers. It was all she could do to keep putting one foot in front of the other, so anxious was she of the Queen's response to her son's decision to marry her, a mere handmaiden. But she could not bear to hold Aemond back any longer, not when his face glowed with such happiness. Besides, she did not think he'd allow her to go back on her word now she'd promised herself to him. He'd all but taken her breath away with the force with which he'd kissed her and grabbed her hand to pull her from his chambers almost immediately afterwards in his eagerness. She'd subconsciously halted where she stood, her thoughts panicked and frenzied as she realised the weight of her words and that Aemond really meant to waste no more time in informing his mother, the Queen herself. Aemond, however, was all too impatient to marry the girl he loved. 

Stopping as he felt her hand go limp in his he turned to her, assessing the panic on her face. Suddenly taking hold of her waist, he pulled her against him so that their bodies seemed to melt into one another, causing Y/N to blush a furious shade of scarlet as she felt the contours of his body against hers. Aemond smirked, always pleased he was able to have such an affect over her. "I'm afraid my patience has been entirely spent, my love. I can tarry no longer in making you my wife. I will carry you to my mother's chambers if I must." His hand tightened around her waist, not enough to hurt but enough to make her gasp as she realised he may actually be serious. Strengthening her grip on his hand, she stuttered out a semblance of a response. "That will not be necessary, My Prince." Aemond's eyebrows shot up at that. "I am no longer just Aemond to you?"

Y/N's blush deepened at her blunder, hoping she hadn't offended him in her state of nervousness. "I am sorry, my love. It just slipped out."

Aemond's face softened and he lightly trailed a hand across her face. "You have not called me that before." Y/N realised he was right. Aemond was so free with his affections, with terms of endearment, but this seemed to be the last layer of intimacy she had struggled to breakthrough. Y/N looked down, somewhat ashamed that she had been so slow to offer Aemond the love he gave so freely in return, feeling strongly that she did not deserve him. Her chin was tilted upwards by a gentle hand as Aemond brushed his lips against hers, the ghost of a kiss. "It matters not what you call me, only call me yours and I should be content." Y/N felt such a strong surge of love for Aemond in that moment, in light of his understanding of her difficulty expressing affection and his unfaltering patience with her nonetheless. She felt her nerves dissipate a little, and grabbing his hand more resolutely she led them from his chambers herself.

Aemond had been pleased Y/N had gone willingly, he had not been jesting when he told her he'd carry her to his mother's chambers. He knew that she loved him and it was only the opinions of others that concerned her, and Aemond could no longer allow such unfounded fears to delay their union. He wanted her and by the grace of the Seven she wanted him too. That was all that mattered to him now, and he was prepared to fight for the girl he loved, from any opposition they may face. Aemond strode purposefully towards his mother's chambers, having no care for the lateness of the evening, but slowed as he felt Y/N's grip loosen oncemore, looking back to see her tailing behind him. Sighing, he lowered his torso to meet her eyes. "Y/N I will put you over my shoulder. Unless you have decided you will not have me after all?" He hated the tinge of insecurity that laced his voice.

Y/N looked up at him, her eyes wide with alarm. "That is not what I want. I wish to be your wife. I am only frightened of meeting your mother."

Aemond took hold of her elbows. "I assure you there is nothing to fear. She will love you in time as I do. I will not allow anyone to come between us."

"You sound so certain."

Aemond shot Y/N a roguish grin. "You can depend upon it. Come now." Reclaiming her hand he pulled them down the final corridor which led to his mother's chambers, addressing his mother's sworn protector before they'd even reached the end of the hall. "Ser Criston, I would speak with my mother."

Ser Criston's eyebrows pulled into a confused frown as his eyes flitted between the Prince's serious expression and the hand which clasped his handmaiden's. "The hour is late, my prince. Her grace is presently engaged with the Hand of the King."

Aemond startled slightly before schooling his features into a mask of calm, not wishing to alarm Y/N any more. He had not expected to contend with both his mother and Otto Hightower this night, but it mattered little. He had no intention of backing down on the matter of his marriage to Y/N, whatever the opposition.

"It is no matter Cole, my mother will be gladdened by the news I bring her."

Aemond was not certain of this fact, but he assumed an air of self-assurance nonetheless as he released Y/N's hand to pat Criston on the shoulder, pushing the door to his mother's chambers open.

His mother's eyes snapped up to him as he entered, Y/N shuffling in behind him whilst lightly clutching onto his tunic. He discreetly reached behind him to take hold of her free hand, hoping to provide her some degree of comfort. His mother looked flushed as if she had just been shouting and his good eye immediately sought out the object of her distress, landing on his grandsire Otto whose expression was one of irritation. Aemond narrowed his eyes at the scene before him, clearly he had interrupted an argument. He loved his mother and had never forgotten how she had been the only one to speak up for him and defend him on driftmark when he had lost his eye. Fixing Otto with a stern glare he returned his gaze to his mother. "Mother, I wish to introduce you to my betrothed. I have asked Y/N to marry me and, happily, she has agreed to become my wife." Aemond spoke with finality, he would not prevaricate or draw this out any longer than he needed to. An eery silence followed for an agonisingly long time before Alicent rose to meet Aemond, hands reaching out towards him. He regretfully released Y/N's hand to take his mother's proferred hands. She spoke softly as if to a young child who needed to be coaxed away from doing something dangerous. "Aemond, she is your handmaiden."

"She was my handmaiden, she is my lady now."

Alicent shook her head and closed her eyes, as if when she opened them again the image of Aemond and his handmaiden would only have been a figment of her imaginings. When she opened them and observed her son's determined expression, she blanched. "Aemond, you cannot mean to marry a servant. You are a Prince of the realm and you know it is your duty to marry for the benefit of the crown. I'm sure your handmaiden is lovely, but she is not a suitable marriage prospect."

Aemond's own tone sharpened. He misliked his mother talking as if Y/N was not standing right behind him, her own hand tightening on his tunic.

"Mother, I did not come to argue with you. The matter is settled. I love her and will marry no other. Would you deny me this happiness I have been fortunate enough to find, after all I have lost?" Aemond began to hope his mother was losing her resolve as her eyes softened, one hand reaching up to cup his cheek. But it was at that moment that Otto hightower broke his silence. "Will you truly entertain this nonsense Alicent?"

Then turning to Aemond, "Are you so foolish boy? Or have you got the girl with child? There are other ways of dealing with this than sullying your title with a marriage to a low born girl." Alicnet had to push against Aemond's chest as his face contorted in anger, taking a step forward towards his grandsire. He practically snarled in response. "I will not suffer insults to my betrothed or allow you to taint her honour with your vile assumptions."

Otto's anger only rose to match Aemond's as he shouted back at him. "It would be an embarasment for your family, for your House, for the crown itself. Do you care for nothing but your own base desires, boy?"

Aemond's voice was dangerously low and seething. "My love for Y/N is pure, there is nothing base about it. I'll thank you to watch your words, grandsire. I intend to serve my House dutifully with Y/N at my side. Am I not our House's strongest sword? Do I not ride the largest and most ancient dragon in the world?"

Seemingly writing Aemond off as a lost cause, he looked around the Prince to the girl cowering behind him. Perhaps she might be swayed to sense.

"Girl, you must know that this would be a disastrous match for the realm. I am sure you must feel something for the Prince. Would you not then see him ascend to his rightful position and marry for the good of the realm?

The girl's face turned disconsolate. Aemond lost his composure entirely, brushing past his mother and advancing on his grandsire, each word laced with venom. "Do not speak to her as if she were just an object to be dispensed with when it is no longer of use."

Otto's eyes flitted back to the girl, ignoring his nephew's attempts at intimidation. He was sure Ser Criston would intervene if it came to violence.

"What will you take to renounce this farcical pact? A girl like you should want for security, the path you tread will offer you only strife and judgement. Will you take coin, jewels, an elevated position perhaps?"

He watched his nephew's reaction closely for any sign he would strike, coiled as he was like a viper.

Instead, he saw his nephew's face crumple and his good eye widen. Mayhaps he feared the girl would take him up on his offer.

Looking back to the girl, Otto was startled by the fierceness of the glare she now levelled at him. She'd only seemed a timid creature moments before, easily malleable to his will. She took determined steps forward until she stood next to Aemond, taking his hand in hers. Looking steadfastly up at Otto, she spoke for the first time with an air of confidence he had not expected from her. "I love Prince Aemond and I will not abandon him, whatever you offer me." His nephew's face softened as he gazed down at the girl, perhaps he had not expected such a reaction from her either. Before Otto could incite Aemond enough to strike him, Alicent intervened. "Aemond, we will discuss this further tomorrow. I will have separate chambers prepared for Y/N. She cannot be permitted to continue in service as your handmaiden if these are your wishes. It would continue to raise questions." Alicent knew her son. He was determined and unlike to make a vow he did not mean.

Aemond smiled at his mother, pleased by her softened resolve, though she still looked unconvinced. "Very well Mother, thank you. I will see you on the morrow." Lightly pulling Y/N with him he quickly strode from the room, not stopping until they had passed along several hallways and were far from his mother's chambers. Halting without warning, Y/N almost bumped into him before he caught her, wrapping her up in his arms and leaning his head down to rest against her shoulder.

"Thank you, my brave girl."

Aemond had felt a deeper scar than the one he bore upon his face begin to heal over as Y/N had affirmed her love for him, standing up to the Hand of the King himself to remain at his side. He could not put into words how much her actions had meant to him, knowing how difficult it must have been for her to do so. He cursed himself for believing, just for a moment, there was a possibility of Y/N taking Otto up on one of his sordid offers, so used was he to being the second choice as the second son, and even then it was only Rhaenyra his father truly cared for. He knew how inherently good Y/N was, how she returned his love, and decided his faith would never falter again. Releasing his hold on her he slid his hand down her arm before interlocking their hands. "Come, I will walk you back to the servant's quarters for tonight. Tomorrow you will have more adequate chambers fit for a princess."

Y/N lightly swatted at Aemond's chest. "Aemond, it would scare the servant's half to death for a Prince to show up unannounced at this hour. Rumours will run rife. And I am no princess."

"I do not care, my love I wish to walk my betrothed safely to her door. Besides, you shall be my princess shortly and I wish you to be treated as such. I would shower you with jewels if you would allow it."

Y/N blushed, looking down at the ground. "I have no need of extravagant gifts, Aemond. You know I have always managed quite well with my room in the Keep and with less before that."

Aemond frowned, his heart dropping at the thought of the hardships Y/N must have faced whilst his every need was tended to in the Keep. "I do not like to think of you suffering any deprivation." Y/N squeezed his hand comfortingly. "It was not so bad, I was very lucky to secure a position in the crown's service at a young age."

Aemond tucked a tendril of hair behind Y/N's ear, smiling softly at her and humming as if in thought. "Well, if you will not take jewels, I will need to find another way to express my adoration for you, little one."

Aemond made good on his promise, and everyday a squire would arrive at Y/N's newly appointed chambers to deliver a bouquet of bluebells to her door. Y/N had no idea how Aemond was managing to get hold of so many bluebells, aware as she was that they did not grow within the grounds of Kings Landing, but she adored them and her heart fluttered at the Prince's thoughtfulness. He had heeded her previous rejection of jewels, but he sent her gifts he thought would be more acceptable to her instead; books he thought she might like to read, as thanks to him and Helaena this had become a favourite past time of hers, new gowns in the colours of his House, which made the prospect of their marriage feel more real to her, that she really would be his lady. But it was the flowers that made her feel closer to him as her abrupt change of circumstances meant she could no longer spend time with him alone in his chambers, and she missed him when he was attending to his duties during the day.

She would have been bored out of her mind if not for the company of Helaena who was only too happy to receive her as a sister. She spent the better part of her days in Helaena's chambers, either playing with the little Prince Jahaerys and his sister Princess Jahaera, or discussing her upcoming nuptials with the Princess Helaena. Aemond came to see her at least once a day when it was permitted in his sister's chambers, or she would come to watch him in the training yard. But she misliked the stares she received and found herself seeing Aemond less and less as a result. The Queen had tentatively consented to her marriage with Aemond, despite the Hand's open distate, but she had not spoken to Y/N since. She was all too aware how the Queen and her father saw her as a burden to the Prince, to House Targaryen. As such, the wedding was set to be a small affair, which suited Y/N's shy nature. Though she did hope that in time she might be able to bond with the Queen if she truly saw how happy she and Aemond were together. What mother would not wish their son to be happy?

Rounding a corridor on the way to Helaena's chambers, Y/N heard giggles and muffled whispers, halting in her tracks as she heard the repeated refrain of Aemond's name.

"The Prince Aemond...marrying his handmaiden."

"With child, surely?"

"It is a wonder she is not frightened of him with that scar."

"I could not do it."

"Perhaps no other ladies of the court could stand it?"

She struggled to discern the nature of the conversation between the three ladies of the court, only picking out bits and pieces at first. But when she pieced it together she felt her blood heat as outrage rose up within her.

Before she could think through her actions, Y/N stepped out from behind the wall which concealed her and stormed towards the three ladies who glanced up at the heavy tread of her steps. "You should not speak of the Prince in such a manner. Have you no shame, no respect for the Crown?" The lady closest to her scowled, shifting her raven hair over her shoulders as she upturned her nose at Y/N. "Who are you to presume you can dictate what we should or should not discuss? This is a private conversation."

Y/N was sure she must resemble Vhagar, though she'd never seen the she-dragon, with her own flames pouring forth from her in the form of her heated cheeks. "I am the Prince Aemond's betrothed you speak of. I will not allow you to sully the Prince's name with your false rumours or distasteful remarks about the scar he bears through no fault of his own." The raven haired lady's tone turned mocking then. "So you are the handmaiden then? How dare you talk to your betters this way? Know your place girl."

Y/N's fists clenched unconsciously. "My place is beside the Prince, or defending him from ignorant people like you who would insult him over something entirely out of his control. I must refute your cruel assumptions. The Prince is a noble warrior, a fierce dragon rider, and a dedicated scholar, deserving of your respect. Greater still, he is kind and a gentleman, and I do not fear him in the slightest. Any lady would be lucky to receive his affections and it is my good fortune that he has decided to bestow them on me, though I am but a lowly handmaiden as you say. This only speaks more to his character, that he is able to see past the physical appearance of things, unlike certain members of this court."

Chest heaving, her breath coming in short pants as she finished her tirade, Y/N glared at the three ladies, daring them to speak another word against Aemond.

The raven haired girl took a step towards her, a clear attempt at intimidation. "Be careful girl. You are not wed yet. Who knows how long you will have Prince Aemond's favour. The love of a Prince is a fickle, fleeting thing." When Y/N only continue to scorch her with her glare, the three ladies stalked away. Y/N could feel herself still trembling slightly in her anger at the insults levelled at Aemond. She had never stood up to anyone, her naturally timid nature and status as a servant did not lend themselves to such agency. Though she felt a sense of satisfaction in having done so in defence of the man she loved.

Alicent Hightower had been making her way to her daughter's chambers when she came across the odd sight of the girl, Y/N, squaring her shoulders and raising her voice to three ladies of the court. Shocked at first that she should be so brazen, she stepped forward to intervene, quickly relenting once she approached close enough to hear the nature of the girl's tirade. Instead, the Queen felt her heart warming to the girl as she heard her passionate defence of her son, beginning to understand the depth of Aemond's feelings for the girl. No one save herself had ever defended him so steadfastly. And Alicent could admit that even she had been somewhat lax in expressing her affections for Aemond. This girl clearly loved her son, unconditionally so, and Alicent could not but help to feel grateful to her for this fact. She loved all of her children and wanted them to feel safe and loved. The King barely took note of Aemond, no matter how hard he tried to embody the traits of a true Targaryen, whilst he revered Rhaenyra's plain featured bastards. It was an insult to all decency. In that moment, Alicent resolved to accept this marriage fully and try to bond with the girl, Y/N she reminded herself. Aemond deserved to be loved and she would defend his right to marry the girl should her father or husband express any further opposition.

Aemond was surprised to be summoned to his mother's chambers that evening, she spent the greater portion of her time with Helaena and rarely sent for him. Though he often wished she would show him more affectation as his mother. He grew concerned she wished to talk him out of his engagement with Y/N, already having tentatively expressed her apprehension to the match to no avail. He would not hear anymore on the matter if that were the case.

"Prince Aemond, your grace."

"Thank you Ser Criston."

Aemond entered his mother's chambers as Cole announced him, back ramrod straight and hands clasped behind his back.

Hi mother waited until Cole had shut the door behind him before taking both his hands in her own. "I wish to talk to you on Y/N, Aemond."

"Mother..."

"No, let me speak my peace. I wish only to tell you that I approve of your marriage to the girl and give you my blessing. I will defend your choice alongside you should the need arise again. Though I believe your grandsire has written it off as a lost cause and you well know your father's condition."

Aemond squeezed his mother's hands, hardly believing such a change could have come about so suddenly. "I thank you, Mother. May I ask what has prompted you to change your opinion on Y/N?"

Aemond felt the love he had always wished for from his mother as she smiled warmly up at him. "You'll be pleased to know your betrothed is not so timid as she seems. I came across her defending you quite passionately against three members of the court today. She would hear no insult to your name or your intentions towards her, and made her love and respect for you abundantly clear to the three ladies...and to myself. I confess myself greatly moved by her love for my son."

Aemond felt pride rise within him at Y/N's defence of him and his love grow for her if that were even possible. Taking his mother's hand to place a kiss upon her knuckles, he released her to go and thank his lady. "My heart is gladdened to hear of it mother, and grateful for the affect it has had upon your own. I will bid you goodnight now."

Y/N jumped at the sound of a knock at her chamber door. The hour was late and she had been preparing for bed. She was not entirely certain she should be opening the door in her night dress at this hour but did not wish to be rude if it were a matter of importance, a summons from the Queen herself even. Y/N had barely taken the lock of the latch and opened the door before she was unceremoniously crushed to Aemond's chest, shrieking as she was lifted into the air and spun until her back met the door as he quickly swung it closed, shushing her as he did so. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck reflexively, though she knew he would not drop her. "Aemond what in the Seven..?"

Aemond silenced her with a kiss that took her breath away as he continued to hold her against his body. Melting into his kiss, Y/N tangled her hands in his hair, not caring anymore for the abruptness of his greeting. Pulling away so they could catch their breath, Aemond gently set her down though he kept a hold on her waist. To Y/N, his face looked ethereal in the soft glow of the candle light as he smiled at her.

"I apologise for startling you, my love. I did not wish anyone to see me enter given the lateness of the hour."

Y/N was half dazed by Aemond's proximity and the tingling sensation on her lips from when he'd kissed her, but she willed herself not to just stand gaping at him. "And what brings you to my chambers at this hour?" Her tone was light and teasing. She had missed him and was glad he'd come to see her whatever his reason.

Aemond stepped closer towards Y/N before bringing his lips to her jaw. Y/N gasped softly, but pulled him closer to her instinctively as he kissed down her jaw and spoke against her skin. "I came to thank you for defending me. My mother spoke of it to me."

Y/N's eyes fluttered closed as Aemond began to kiss her neck but tried to maintain a degree of composure to respond to him. She had not been aware of the Queen's presence at the time. "I did not like to hear others speak badly of you. They do not know you as I do." Y/N lifted a hand to stroke his hair as Aemond hummed in response, planting a kiss against her clavicle just above the neckline of her night gown. Her eyes flew open as she realised for the first time that she was, in fact, only in her night gown and the situation was less than appropriate. Pushing Aemond back slightly by his shoulders she tried to keep her voice quiet so as not to alert anyone who might pass by to Aemond's presence in her chambers. "Aemond, I'm only in my night gown!"

Aemond looked confused that she had only just realised this. "I'm well aware, you look beautiful."

Y/N blushed scarlet. "That's not what I meant. But if we're seen together like this, people will think..." She trailed off, hoping Aemond would understand her concerns without her having to spell it out.

Aemond grinned at her. "I only wished to thank my lady for defending my honour. Having done so I shall depart forthwith. I will be discreet." He took Y/N's hand and pulled her with him as he quietly opened the chamber door, glancing around for any signs of movement. Quickly turning to bid his lady goodnight with a final peck on the lips, he shut the door behind him and hurried back to his own chambers, unable to contain his smile as the image of Y/N's flushed cheeks and hair mussed from his ministrations swam in his mind.

Y/N shivered as a cold breeze blew through the courtyard of the Red Keep, blowing whisps of hair into her eyes, which she quickly brushed away. Aemond had asked her to meet him that morning for she knew not what, but the presence of the horse being saddled by a young squire by the steps of the Keep entrance concerned her somewhat.

"Y/N"

At the sound of her voice she looked up to see Aemond taking the steps three at a time to meet her, immediately wrapping an arm around her waist to kiss her as he reached the bottom.

"Good morning, my love" He pulled back to smile at her, the biting cold of the crisp morning seemingly having no affect on his mood. She supposed the blood of the dragon spared him.

Placing a hand against his chest she realised she was right as heat seemed to radiate from him whilst she stood there shivering. "Good morning, Aemond."

Taking hold of the hand that was on his chest in both of his, Aemond began rubbing his hands up and down hers "Your hands are cold. We should head off while the skies remain clear." With that he began pulling her towards the horse, just as she'd feared. She'd never ridden before and could foresee embarassment just at the thought of mounting the horse. "And where are we going, Aemond?"

Without stopping Aemond called back to her over his shoulder. "To visit Vhagar. It is important to me that you become acquainted." Y/N blanched, she'd expressed her interest in dragons early on to Aemond, they were almost like gods to her, but also her fear of them...and Vhagar was the largest and fiercest of them all. Aemond had taken to mentioning Vhagar with increasing regularity to her and she should have realised this was inevitable. His grip on her hand was tight and carried with it a sense of finality. Sighing and accepting her fate, hoping the dragon wouldn't cook her on sight, she asked the other question that was on her mind.

"Why do we have need of a horse to see your dragon? The dragon pit is within walking distance, is it not?"

"Vhagar is too large for the dragon pit. She resides on the outskirts of the city."

Y/N gulped. Aemond was always so nonchalant about his fearsome dragon, as if she were a friend to him rather than a fire breathing beast. She could not be so calm about the danger.

As Aemond released her hand to take the reigns of the horse from the squire, she looked sceptically at the saddle. Before she could make a disastrous attempt at mounting the horse, warm hands lifted her by the waist onto its back. Aemond followed swiftly, positioning himself behind her.

Y/N blushed as Aemond reach around her to take the reigns, encompassing her in his arms as the horse broke into a canter. His breath tickled the hair by her ear as he leant his head on her shoulder. "Relax." She realised she had been sitting stiff as a board, tilted forward, and leaned more fully into him, her back pressing against his chest. She felt a sense of security in Aemond's arms, even as she want to meet a dragon, his warmth seeping into her.

Aemond smiled as he felt Y/N shift closer to him, basking in her proximity and how far they had come for her to be so comfortable with him now. He'd been bemused at the look on her face as she'd approached the horse, tentatively placing her smaller hand on the saddle. He doubted she had any or at least very little experience with horse riding. Lifting her up onto the horse himself and wrapping his arms around her to take the reigns, he thought to himself that he should have invented an excuse to do so long before.

They fell into a comfortable silence, broken only by Y/N's gasp as what she'd thought had been a huge mountain moved and lifted its head, seemingly sensing its rider's approach. Not a mountain...Vhagar.

"It is alright, Y/N. She will not harm you. I am here."

Bringing the horse to a stop a safe distance away from the she-dragon, Aemond jumped down before turning to lift Y/N down. Vhagar was looking inquisitively at them and Y/N feared she was wondering whether Aemond had brought her a snack, though she was also awestruck by the sight of a real dragon before her. "Stay here a moment, I will calm her before I introduce you."

With that he approached the large dragon as if she were only a small dog, speaking softly to her and patting her snout when he was close enough.

"Lykirri Vhagar, dohaeras."

Y/N felt her lips quirk up in an involuntary smile and her cheeks heat at the smooth, low tone of Aemond's voice as he spoke in High Valyrian. She had not heard him speak it before but found it unspeakably attractive. Y/N could not understand what Aemond was saying, but whatever it was seemed to have a calming affect on the she-dragon as she rested her head back on the ground, not even looking at Y/N anymore. She could not school her features before Aemond looked back at her, returning to her side and looking down at her questioningly. "I do so love to see you blush, might I inquire as to the cause on this occasion?"

Y/N wanted the ground to swallow her up at his directness, but as she began to turn from Aemond to hide her glowing cheeks, he only took hold of her elbow and turned her back towards him. "There is no need to be embarassed, Ñuha prūmia." As her blush deepened and she squirmed away from him realisation dawned on Aemond's face, and he graced her with a knowing smirk.

"Ah, I see."

Y/N felt the need to explain herself, but only managed to stumble over her own words. "It is only that I like to hear you speak in Valyrian, it has an elegance to it. I mean to say that I find the sound of your voice comforting. Wait, that sounds worse." Flustered she placed her head in her hands, hearing Aemond chuckle softly as he prised her hands from her face. "I am glad you like the sound of my voice, my darling, and I'll speak to you in High Valyrian more often if it should please you.

Brushing his hand over her blazing cheek he brought his face low to speak against her ear, his voice barely above a whisper.  "Iksā gevie, Issa jorrāelagon."

A shiver went down Y/N's spine, though she did not understand the meaning of the words. "What does it mean?"

Aemond pulled back, his smile widening at her physical reaction to his voice. "Do you truly wish to know?" Y/N narrowed her eyes in suspicion at the cunning glint in Aemond's eye, resolving to just ask Helaena later. She hoped it was not anything too crude. "I'm suddenly not so sure I do." Aemond patted her cheek affectionately before taking her hand in his. "Come then, I wish you to meet Vhagar. She is calm now. It is safe."

Interlocking their fingers, Aemond gently pulled Y/N towards Vhagar until she was close enough to touch the she-dragon. Pulling their joint hands up, he placed Y/N's palm on Vhagar's side. The Prince observed Y/N's face switch from one of trepidation to a look of of wonder as he smoothed their hands down the tough surface of Vhagar's scales. His dragon was not perturbed in the slightest, a relaxed hum reverberating through her as she huffed out soft tendrils of smoke.

He knew that Vhagar could feel the great importance the girl beside him held for Aemond, could feel his love for her, through their shared bond. And as such she would not harm her. But it warmed his heart to see the two great loves of his life interact. His bond with Vhagar had been the most important connection in his life before he met Y/N. She was his only friend, their bond with one another unequivocal, unbreakable. Introducing Y/N to Vhagar felt like baring the most essential parts of his soul to her. He hoped that Y/N might even agree to a ride with Vhagar in the future as she grew more comfortable with his dragon, and his heart raced with excitement at the prospect. There was no feeling like riding high in the skies, as if touching the heavens, nothing so pure as the trust between a dragon and it's rider. Aemond wanted to experience this with Y/N in time.

Y/N allowed the Queen to manage preparations for her wedding entirely, grateful there would only be a small wedding feast afterwards. The Queen had been nothing but warm and welcoming to her since she'd witnessed Y/N defending her son so vociferously. Y/N would be forever grateful to Helaena for teaching her the basics of dancing and only hoped she would not embarass herself too greatly, though she was excited at the prospect of dancing with Aemond. There was only one matter she had a strong opinion on, and that was her dress. One conversation with Helaena had convinced her that her dress should be blue. The Queen had seemed unsure at first, the common colour being white, but did not see the harm if Y/N was adamant.

Though Y/N was racked by nerves on the morning of her wedding, she was overjoyed by the way her dress had turned out. The soft midnight blue fabric and the golden detailing shifted elegantly as she moved, and Y/N thought it resembled the night sky. She only hoped Aemond would also like it. Butterflies erupted in the pit of her stomach as she faced the long expanse of the aisle of the Sept, her arm interlocked with the Prince Aegon's.

Aemond's brother had been surprisingly pleasant to her, despite his reputation for being somewhat of a menace at court, and had offered to walk her down since she had no surviving male relatives of her own to do so. Searching Aemond out, she felt her nerves settle somewhat at the sight of him, handsome garbed in his ivory tunic and with a soft smile upon his face as he took her in. Taking his hand in hers, Y/N felt a wave of calm rush over her at how their hands fit together, as if made for one another. Her feeling of contentment, of pieces falling into place, only intensified as they spoke their vows and Aemond placed a cloak embroidered with the colours of House Tagaryen over her shoulders.

The wedding feast itself passed with little ceremony, including only a small gathering of nobles. Aegon had sunk into his cups early into the evening and managed to make a fool of himself drunkenly pulling Y/N about the room in the semblance of a dance, insistent that he should "welcome his new sister into the family properly" before she was rescued by her husband. Her heart fluttered at the thought as she placed her hands on his shoulders and he pulled her close to lead her in the steps of the dance. Aemond did not much like to dance, but that night he did for Y/N and found he did not mind so much when it was his wife he held in his arms rather than the simpering noble ladies that had been thrust upon him at feasts before. As the hour grew late and Y/N felt herself growing overwhelmed under the watchful gaze of the courtiers, they made to retire to their chambers. Aegon had just barely spoken the words "bedding ceremony" before Aemond fixed him with a glare so fierce he immediately quietened and went back to his cups.

Shutting the doors to their shared chambers, his heart warming at the thought, Aemond's smile fell as he turned to see his wife anxiously wringing her hands and shifting from one foot to the other. He gently gripped her shoulders. "Are you well, my love?"

"I confess I am a little afraid." Realisation dawned upon him. It was not uncommon for ladies to be concerned about their wedding night, but he did not wish his wife to be.

"You needn't be. We do not have to do anything. I can just hold you."

Aemond's felt a surge of guilt at Y/N's still uneasy expression, he hated to think she felt she had to do anything she was not yet comfortable with out of duty. It was more than enough for him that she was now his wife. He wished her to understand that he would never force her, or pressure her for anything more than she would allow.

Gently taking her hand he purposefully pulled her away from the bed to the chaise in the centre of the room. "Come, sit and talk with your husband a while."

He hoped if he continued on as they normally would, Y/N would feel less nervous. Keeping hold of her hand in both of his he turned to her, mouth quirked up in a conspiratorial smirk. "You have been thoroughly inducted into House Targaryen now with all its foibles. I hope Aegon's fool hardy behaviour did not alarm you too much. I must warn you that I will not allow myself to be parted from you even if it did."

Aemond felt his heart warm at her laugh, hoping she was beginning to feel more comfortable. They talked for a while before Y/N suddenly quietened, her expression sheepish. Aemond squeezed her hand gently, concerned that his wife might be afraid of him by the way she was looking at him. Her next words quickly dispelled that thought. But they instilled in him a different fear entirely, causing him to stiffen as she tentatively raised a hand to brush against his cheek, along the strap of his eyepatch.

"May I see you without your eyepatch, husband?"

Aemond caught her wrist, halting her movements, his voice laced with an admixture of shame and fear he had carried with him since he had lost his eye. He had gained a dragon, the largest and fiercest in the world, but he had been irreparably maimed for it. It was an act of violence that had changed the way people looked at him ever since and he could not bear it if Y/N should look at him with disgust or horror, or shame. "It is an ugly thing, my love. Not for the faint of heart."

"It is a part of you, Aemond. I will not judge you for it. I wish only to look upon the face of my husband, who I love dearly."

Aemond closed his eyes briefly, trying to control the erratic beating of his heart as he sought a way to distract his wife from her current train of thought, to disway her from her wish to see what lay beneath his eyepatch. He did not know if he could part with this layer of armour, the fear of rejection palpable in the air between them.

"I do not know..."

Y/N cut him off before he could give his excuses.

"If you will not show me, will you tell me how it happened? If it is not too painful. I know that it was your nephew Lucerys who was to blame." Aemond was surprised by the biting tone of his wife's voice as she spoke the name of his nephew. But he was grateful for the escape she had offered him and so he told her everything. Of how he had so oft been an outcast, jeered at by his brother and nephews when his dragon egg failed to hatch. He told her of how they'd mocked him with the promise of a dragon, only to present him with a pig. He told her of how he'd tried to offer his nephew Jacaerys comfort upon the death of Harwin Strong, of how he'd been rebuked and sought out Vhagar. How he'd claimed the largest dragon in the world, and how he'd lost an eye for it.

All the while Y/N stroked the side of his face, his hair, her eyebrows furrowed and eyes narrowing at each painful memory Aemond recalled. When he'd finished, she pulled him to her, his head coming to rest in the crook of her neck. "I hate that you have suffered so much at the hands of those who should love you. I wish I had been there for you." Aemond felt his heart seize, unused to such care, such devotion to his well being. "I do not wish to distress you, my wife. I am perfectly content now."

Y/N huffed. "I always want you to feel comfortable telling me about these parts of yourself Aemond. I would like a word with your nephews though" she grumbled out under her breath. Aemond let out a hearty laugh at that, clutching his wife tighter to him "Perhaps it is not Vhagar my enemies should fear, but my fearsome, protective wife. I have long since forgiven Lucerys, it is his lack of punishment that has always pained me, rather than the act itself."

Y/N pulled away from him to look into his face, cupping his cheek where his eyepatch rested. "Then you are a better man than most."

As gratitude for his wife's care washed over him, Aemond felt that he did not need to hide from Y/N anymore, that it might be a relief for her to see him as he truly was without the fear of her reacting negatively. She had not judged him at any moment for his scar or as he told her of the misfortunes of his childhood. Had she not been the one to mend the very eyepatch he now wore upon his face the day they had met, knowing what it meant to him? He trusted her fully, and would show her as much.

"I do not mind if you wish to see it, my love." Taking strength from the warmth of his beloved's hand he placed both their hands atop the strap of his eyepatch and slowly removed it from his face, leaving only the sapphire where his eye should have been. He closed his good eye, not wishing to see his wife's initial reaction, aware the sight was ghastly and harrowing for most. The soft touch of her fingers down the line of his scar grounded him, reassuring him that she was not disgusted with him. She did not despise him.

"It is beautiful, Aemond."

Aemond snapped his eye open, looking at Y/N as if she'd lost her mind. "Beautiful? I expected you to shriek or faint at the sight of it. You are always surprising me Y/N."

"I think every part of you beautiful, the sapphire compliments you well. Why did you think I had a blue dress made? It is not the common colour for a wedding gown."

"You had your dress made to match me?"

Aemond spoke slowly, each word latent with barely repressed emotion.

Y/N nodded eagerly. "Yes, Helaena told me of your sapphire. I know it is not common knowledge but I thought it might please you."

Moved by his wife's sweet gesture, Aemond pulled her towards him so she was halfway in his lap, one hand holding her head to his chest.

"I worried you would hate me for it, that you would come to regret tying yourself to a man with such a deformity when you are perfection itself."

Y/N pulled back from him then, all seriousness as she considered how best to show Aemond that his scar did not make him any less in her eyes, that she love all of him.

"I could never hate you, and it does not frighten me. If anything I only love you all the more for allowing me to see you this way, for trusting me. And as to me being perfect, I assure you it is only you who thinks so and I most certainly am not."

Leaning over Aemond, Y/N placed a trail of kisses along the length of his scar, pulling away to rest her hand on his cheek. "You will always be the most handsome man to me. My brave husband."

Y/N lowered herself from her position leant over him until she was straddling Aemond, his hands moving to her waist to keep her secure as he gazed up at her in awe. Bringing her lips to his, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself as close as she could to him. In the comfort of his arms and with the feel of his lips on her, Y/N realised she had never felt so safe, so seen with anyone as with Aemond, and her previous worries dissipated. She parted her lips, allowing Aemond to deepen the kiss, before reaching one hand down to take hold of Aemond's.

He did not oppose her as she moved it from her waist to place it on her collarbone, slowly moving it down her chest until it rested over her breast. She heard Aemond's breath hitch but steeled her courage as she continued to move her lips against his, all the while trailing his hand down her torso, her hip and finally her thigh. Aemond pulled away from her then to look into her eyes, seemingly searching for any doubt. "Are you sure, my heart?"

Y/N had never been so sure of anything in that moment as she was of her love for Aemond and his love for her. Bringing her hands up to his shoulders she pressed her lips to his forehead. "Yes."

Aemond smiled tenderly at her, his voice soft as he ran his fingers through her hair. "Avy jorrāelan." He knew that she would understand what that meant from the tone of his voice. Pressing her closer to him still, if that were possible, the prince crashed his lips against hers.

Valyrian translations:

Avy jorrāelan~ I love you

Iksā gevie~ You are beautiful

Issa jorrāelagon ~My love

Nuha prumia~ My heart

This might be the prettiest a man has ever looked. I was in shock your honour.

Also. How the fuck did he do this????!!!!

@zoetje2004 @jjkysnk @ieieibhibu8 @skymoonandstardust @truly-abysmal @idonotknowenglish @leonesimp @hyacinthesiss @nanawaffles @callsigncrushx @bitchyfestivalbouquet @void21 @sapphiresandferrari @pinkykats-place

@lportes-22

@superintenseart @youknownothingjohnwatson

@misspinkonmars @ateliefloresdaprimavera

[darksturnioloqueen]

Sadistic!Matt x Cage

**This Fic Series will NOT be for people with triggers. This Fic Series will have very descriptive moments of Sadism.**

Sadistic (Sadism - The Act Of Being Sadistic)

Deriving (getting) pleasure from inflicting (causing) pain, suffering, or humiliation on others.

Please Read At Your Own Risk.

⚠︎Trigger Warning: there is truly only one trigger warning in this whole fucking thing and that is.... EMOTIONAL!Sadistic!Matt. ⚠︎

You wanted to stay after fucking him but you knew Matt needed alone time. You could just tell. You woke up in your own bed this morning and did your regular routine. Your suspicions were confirmed when you didn't hear from Matt at all. After being struck with a literal hammer over and over, you worried maybe he was beating himself up today over hurting you so badly. He had never shown any signs of guilt before, so starting now seemed completely out of character, but it also happened after he said he wanted to marry you. You looked down and examined the shiny pink crystal ring. "It's perfect." You whispered gently to yourself. You had to understand he just needed some space after a night like last night and the last few days in general, when meeting your family. Your phone started ringing and you leapt to answer it, hoping it was Matt.

"Hello." You said fast.

"Hey, honey, I was just calling to check in."

"Mom, I'm fine." You rolled your eyes, knowing she was having a hard time grasping what a masochist and a sadist were. Cole knew what they were, but that was the problem for him. Matt hurting his sister and liking it would never fly easily with him; you knew that.

"How is, uh, Matt?" Again, you knew what she was going on about.

"He is fine. We are fine. I promise." It had only been a day since learning everything, but you prayed desperately that the constant check-ups would stop soon. Your phone beeped. You pulled it back to see that you had a message from Matt. "I have to go. I'll call you later." You rushed off. You opened the message and read it.

I have a surprise for you.

Every trigger response in your body was hit. Your heart ached, your stomach fluttered, your breathing stopped, and, of course, your thighs clenched together, feeling a tingling sensation between them. You quickly replied, asking when you should come over. You wanted to go at this moment, but you knew he liked having control over situations.

Give me 30 minutes.

It came through fast. You realized this would be the longest thirty minutes of your life, and fifteen of those minutes would be spent driving to him. You stood up and started pacing around your room, trying to make sure you had the right clothes on, all while overthinking his surprise. This was Matt. He didn't exactly do anything light since the day you met. Your mind immediately envisioned BDSM bondage ropes on the ceiling. You looked up as if to see it more clearly. Although you have always wanted to try that, and Matt seemed like the type to find it fun playing with basic suspension, something in your chest told you that wasn't it. You kept thinking.��You ran your thumb underneath your engagement band, and it hit you.

"Something wedding-related." You whispered the thought. The idea of Matt being cutesy and giving you something for your wedding replaced the idea of being hung from the ceiling, but it didn't fit Matt. You knew Matt would do anything to make you happy, but a wedding gesture other than what has been done so far just didn't make sense this early. He also didn't strike you as the wedding planning type. You had a feeling your wedding would be planned entirely solo, which again, you were fine with. Matt would want you to have your dream wedding regardless. You continued pacing until it became time to leave. You made sure you had anything you might need for an evening at Matt's house and started the drive. The whole way there in the car, you overthought the surprise. Before you had your hand on the back door, it flung open. Matt with an evil grin.

"Matt?" You questioned.

"Come in." He practically pulled you inside. You looked around to see that everything was the same dull, undecorated house.

"Matt?" You questioned again

"Pet." He paused. "Inamorata." He said with a hint more of lust. You knew when he called you inamorata, he was about to do something really out of character for himself. You looked at him, waiting in awe. He looked amazing. He wasn't dressed up, but you could tell he had just showered. His hair was damp. His clothes were cozy but clean, freshly pressed.

"Matthew." You used his full name and warranted a disgusted look from him.

"So I asked you to promise to stay, right?" He grabbed your hand, and you felt him also rubbing the ring with his fingertip.

"Correct." You agreed. Your eyes were locked on any movement from him.

"Okay, great." He changed course, and you felt a weird sense of letdown that he didn't continue being cute. "Follow me." He walked, tugging your hands along. He walked to his bedroom door and stopped.

"What is going on?" You asked. If he was just wanting to fuck you he could have done that with out all the theatrics.

"I made you something. Well, it can be for us." He slowly opened his bedroom door and let you walk in first. You gasped at the sight. A white and pink dog crate was in the corner that used to be empty of everything—a crate. The inside was padded with a rug and white frilly throw pillows. The structure was white metal, and he took the time to attach a few loose pink bows.

"I love it." Your mind was spinning with possible ways to use the cage as a sex tool. With his arm around you, Matt slowly bent down and kissed your cheek. Your eyes popped a little at the unexpected touch. This Matt had utterly fallen in love. He never saw himself spending the night with anyone. He never saw himself opening up to someone. He never thought he would find the person to spend the rest of his life with, and then he met you.

"Go see it." He softly pushed you. You got down on your knees and crawled into the cage. The fuzzy blanket, brand new, was cool to the touch. You heard the metal creaking and turned to see Matt locking you inside.

"Really?" You giggled. It was meant for a large dog, but your body fit perfectly.

"I'll be back later." He wasn't joking. He turned off the light, walked out, and shut his bedroom door. You were like his prisoner. You were a little disappointed that he wouldn't stay, but after some thought, there wasn't much else he could do, right?

Matt left, but he knew he wouldn't be gone long. He couldn't wait to return with his new toys, which he was picking out. He knew you already had a collar and leash, which originated the nickname Pet for you, but he wanted to make it more fun and get the cage too. But what he knew that you didn't was that the cage was more of a symbol for something. Something he never thought he would do. Then he met you. He returned to the house fast and heard your faint name calling for him.

"What's the matter? Already want out?" He chuckled. You nodded poutily. The cage was great for 30 minutes until you were bored. You tried undoing the clasp from the inside, but of course, Matt thought ahead and bought an impenetrable one. "A few more minutes, Pet." He left the light on this time so you could at least look around. You heard him moving around and making noise from the kitchen extension of the house. He was cooking. You started smelling it almost immediately. You had plenty of time to think while he was gone, and something still wasn't sitting right with you. Matt wouldn't surprise you with a crate, and then just leave it at that. There had to be more going on. You noticed his journal on the table beside his bed. You reached, but the metal bars held you back just before you could make it. The footsteps outside the door had you jerking your hand back. "Ready?" He asked un-latching the lock properly. You crawled out and stood up, stretching your limbs a little.

"That was okay..." You were a little more cynical of the purpose of the cage now.

"On the bed." You perked up, ready for your favorite part. You sat on the bed, and Matt sat beside you, which was odd. "I do have plans for the cage that are more fun than locking you up for forty minutes." He chuckled.

"And those would be?" You wanted to know the secret.

"I'll show you in time." He squeezed your thigh and looked you in the eyes. This Matt was different. You had seen so many sides to him, butnot this one. He almost looked normal. "The cage is for something else," he sighed. "It's more symbolic of something." He started to show some nerves.

"Okay?" You urged him to talk to you. You could tell it was hard for him, but you still just wanted to know everything.

"Inamorata." This was it. This was the real surprise. He used the name. "Will you -"

"Marry you? I already said yes?" You couldn't help but interrupt him. You shoved the ring in his face as if he didn't know what he had bought you.

"No." He was turning colder. He grabbed your wrist and squeezed your veins tightly. "Will you move in with me?" Your mouth dropped. Matt barely stayed the night with you, or let you stay the night with him. Moving in was like a full-time stay the night.

"Are you sure?" You needed to know he wouldn't regret it later and leave you on the streets.

"Well, you live fifteen minutes from me. I see you every day anyway. And now I'm going to marry you. I just don't see a point in being apart from each other." He explained flatly. Your grin started shining through, unable to be contained. You leapt into his lap and hugged him.

"Yes!" His hands stayed by his sides. He fell backward on the bed to pull you down. This was your first time on top, but it didn't last long. Matt had you flipped quickly, taking his dominant stance over your back. "Yes." You looked into his eyes. He smiled and within seconds was inside of you. But you knew this fuck was a different one. Matt, for the first time without coercion, wanted to make love to you. He wanted to go slower and really feel inside of you. Of course, he felt inside you almost every day, but wanted to feel an emotional connection this time. He rocked his hips slower than he did when he proved to you he could be gentle. He did it because he wanted it. "Fuck, yes." You moaned in response to him connecting your bodies. His chest was pressed against yours. Even with your clothes in between the two of you, you felt the sensual nature of his touch.

"You better stay." He tucked his head beside yours and breathed slowly. He was focused on feeling everything this moment had to offer. His hips pushing and pulling into yours were nothing compared to what he felt building in his chest. His love for you was more than he was ever prepared for. The day he purchased the overly pink, pale girl who was not his type in any way was the day he unexpectedly met his reason for living. He kept his head tucked down into the pillow because he didn't want you to see his reddening cheeks. His watering eyes. His emotions. You took all of his as usual and let him change the pace as he wanted. You lay there, legs and arms wrapped around him as he slowly pressed in between your thighs.

"I'm not going anywhere." Your statement started as a whisper that slowly turned into a soft moan, letting yourself go on him. Matt followed quickly after you clenched him. Once Matt had passed his orgasm, he pulled out and stood up, avoiding looking your direction.

"Fuck I need to check the food." He was quick to leave you on the bed by yourself. You sat up and looked around the room with your new perspective.  What caught your attention the most was the tiny wet dots sprinkled on the pillow case right next to where your head was lying.

"Huh." You huffed out. You used the already soiled bed sheet to clean yourself up and slowly walked out into the kitchen. Even though you agreed to move in with Matt, his house still had an ominous aura.

"I have some bad news." He looked at you, pale in the face.

"What?" You thought maybe he was going to retract his offer and tell you not to move in. You walked closer to him.

"We are going to have to order food." He looked pissed.

"Why?" Once you were by his side, you saw the blackened chicken and vegetables. You giggled slightly.

"Why are you laughing. It's fucking ruined." He was distraught. You put your hand over his and lowered the ruined food pan back to the stove top.

"Matt, it's okay." You bit your lip, loving his desire to make everything perfect for you.

"I guess when you move in we will just have to fuck after we cook." He looked down at you with a slight smile.

"You know what we can do while we wait for takeout?" You grinned up at him. His tongue pressed to the inside of his cheek knowingly. He picked you up and walked you right back into the bedroom. He wasn't sure what feelings he had the first time he met you, but he sure as hell knew now that he had found his soulmate.

[ravennaortiz]

HEY!!!! You’re spoiling us Juicy girls and I am here for it!!!

Can I please get Fluff 24 - “how mad would you be if i kissed you?”

Thank you!!!!!

Of All the Times

Summary: Juice thought he was prepared for the birth of his son. Fluffy Story but as always 18+.

Juice was sure he was prepared. He truly thought he had thought and overthought every detail. That he had considered every change that would need to be done and when. The go bags were ready at month three. Rules handed out to friends and family by month four. Much to the annoyance of your easily disturbed bladder the house including the toilets were baby proofed. By month five the nursery was complete.

Not only does Juice attend the doctor’s appointments and parent classes with you he goes to a specific dad one. That way he can be extra prepared. When you had suggested simply talking to some of his brothers who were already dads he had hit you with a come on stare. You both had double over laughing because well he was right. He was ready he thought. He read all the books, watched videos, listened to podcasts. Made lists with questions and made sure he had them all answered.

He chatted with Gemma, Donna, Tara about motherhood and the birthing process. To get their personal insight on what their respective spouses had done wrong and what they wished they had done right. He pulled back from club stuff, not wanting to risk being locked up while you were pregnant or worse giving birth. To him that would be unforgivable.

He showered you with love, gifts and praise. Which he had always done but he turned it up to ten. He wanted to make sure you knew how much he loved and appreciated you going through changes and having to endure things he never would to bring life into this world. He endured every hard look, grumbled, sharp response and angry huff from you because he knew how much you loved him.

He thought he was prepared. So when your water broke at the clubhouse he was calm and collected. Frowning as the prospect threw up after slipping in the fluid. He gently ushered you to the car, soothing you as you cried and told him you weren’t ready. Driving quickly to the hospital, glad to see Tara waiting at the door with a wheelchair.

He thought he was prepared. He knew that with this being your first child, that labor could go for hours. He was prepared to stay by your side no matter what. No matter how many times a nurse suggested he get a nap, snack or coffee he remained by your side. Holding your hand, kissing your cheek, forehead, brushing your hair back, feeding you ice chips, soothing you with his voice and keeping you calm.

He thought he was prepared. He knew that once the pushing started things were going to get intense. He was ready for you to abuse him, curse his name, cry and yell. He was ready for what your body may do during this delicate time of ushering life into the world. He was ready to lie his ass off about what happened when you asked. What went down during labor would stay there. He was ready for any sign you were going into distress or that an emergency was happening. The two of you had talked about if he had to choose, he knew what to say.

All his preparation though didn’t prepare him for the moment the nurse handed him your little boy. To hear the cry of his son, to feel something so heavy but so light in his arms. To be sobbing and crying so hard the nurse joked he would drown your son if he didn’t lift his head. He was not prepared for the rawness of the moment. To meet your own tear filled eyes and not know how to explain how grateful and appreciative he was. As he choked on his words looking like a fish gasping for air he finally got a sentence out.

“How mad would you be if I kissed you right now?” he asked making you laugh.

“Of all the times to ask me a question like that Juan Carlos” you said as you shook your head and rubbed at your eyes. Here you were sweaty, covered in fluids and what not and he still wanted to kiss you. “But yes, yes you can”.

[jessicas-pi]

The Time Heals 'verse meta, part one: take two!

First, some explanation. A few days ago, I decided to spontaneously post a meta about my fic. Then I overthought it, decided it was Absolute Garbage and erased it from the face of the earth. What was I thinking? Beats me! I slept for like three hours the night before, I don't take responsibility for those actions. Anyway, three days ago someone mentioned to me that they were actually interested in it! So, last night, with my ego boosted and my hubris restored, I hunted down the reblog the post got before I deleted it, and I reread it, expecting to cringe. And I was like "Hey, wait a second! This isn't garbage! In fact, this is fairly mediocre!" And so I copied it into a document and edited it up just a bit it make it even mediocre-er and now I'm reposting it. Because I can. And because cringe isn't dead, but I persevere nonetheless.

So here we are, right back where we started!

Let’s try this again, shall we?

(Warning: this post will Massively Spoil plot points from the Time Heals 'verse.)

So this meta has been brewing in my brain because, in writing the Time Heals 'verse, I had to think a lot about the relationship dynamic between two characters who will never ever sit down and talk about their feelings until something absolutely forces them to. And having all these things thought out, but knowing that they'll mostly just be subtext and that I'll never be able to outright explain the nuance behind their relationship in the narrative, is absolutely killing me.

It's also been circulating in my thoughts because it occurred to me as I was writing this, just how fundamentally different this fic is from all my other published Sabezra fics. Because in those fics, it either picks up at a point in time where the Feelings Realization has already happened for Sabine, or where the realization happens midway through, and she's doing the Feelings What Feelings thing before then. But the Time Heals 'verse is a slowburn. The Feelings aren’t THERE when we start off. Their relationship is complicated and deep and changing and full of messy feelings that they Will Not Discuss…

…and it all starts with The Line.

You know. The Line. From The Scene. The Line That Was Never Quite Revealed. THE Line.

That one? You know the one? 

No?

Well, then. Let's talk about it!

(Hold on tight, folks. I'm about to go absolutely feral.)

He said something she couldn’t or maybe didn’t want to understand, and she held on tighter, trying to memorize the sound of his voice.

she doesn't want to understand it!! the Feelings Realization moment, the Feelings What Feelings denial phase---neither of those exist in this AU, because for Sabine, right now, those Feelings aren't there. And that's why she can't, why she doesn't want to understand it. because until that moment, he didn't want her to understand it either. it was unspoken and it was ignored. And that was the way it was supposed to be always. He would hide it and she would ignore it and it would fade and go away (it would, it has to) and when that happened, some day in the future, they could forget it ever existed and be happy as friends.

But Ezra is dying.

There is no future.

So there's nothing to hide anymore. And he tells her. And in the kindest world, she could say it back to him. Maybe, somewhere inside, she wants to say it back to him (it's all she can do, he's dying and she can't save him, and he is so very dear to her, the least she could say is me, too) but she doesn't (he is so very dear, but in a way just different enough that me, too would be a lie, and he is too dear to lie to) because she can't.

But he didn't tell her, expecting her to say it back. He's not asking for a “me, too.” Ezra knows there's no me, too. He tells her because he's dying, and to Sabine, it is her dearest friend slipping away in her arms, but to Ezra, the one holding him is more than dear, so terribly much more (You don't know. You're holding me to your heart and you don't know. You might not hold me if you did.) so he tells her because he has to. (I'm sorry. Please don't let me go.)

Sabine holds him tighter, and does the only thing she can do for him.

“Yeah,” she murmured. “I know.”

(But I do know. I knew it before I took you in my arms, you see? It won't make me let you go. It never could.)

Four words from him.

Three words from her.

That's all.

But they say so much more than that. Because he loves her (there! I said it! Because maybe Sabine can't even bring herself to think about it, but I can, and I do!) and she loves him (she does, you know. painfully so.) but it's a different kind of love (and that matters) but it doesn't matter because he is dying in her arms, and in that moment, they realize that they will never know how they would have loved. Maybe he'd have gotten over it and loved her as a dear friend. Maybe she'd have fallen just as in love with him as he is with her. They won't know what the future could have brought for them, so it stops mattering. And Sabine loves him. (But she doesn't.) But she does, and she tells him so in the only way she can. And they say so little. But they say everything.

Sabine? I love you.

Yeah. I know.

She loves him. And she holds him. When he offers his fading heart, she takes the fragile thing and cradles it close, and she kisses his bloody fingers good-bye. She holds him so tightly that when she is yanked away from him and out of the dream-place, she pulls his red-stained orange jacket with her. She never lets him go.

So Ezra dies with a smile, because he loves her.

And Sabine screams, because she loved him.

[lacyberpatate]

Hiiiiiiii :3 For the Music ask game, I need to know everything about: 1) A song you liked as a child, 4) A song you’d put on a playlist for a character you love and 5) A song you think most of your followers won’t have heard before. Ramble on, please :DDD

Heyyy Hi Flowers :D

I actually prepared those responses at work (and still managed to work when I'm not supposed to?? What happened there?). I will try to limit myself to what I prepared but since I just spent 1 hours writing a mini fic in another response, who knows???

1) A song you liked as a child

Starting grand with already more than one song.

I immediately thought of my mom singing Le Petit Joueur de Fluteau from George Brassens when I was in bed as a child. And yes, it was as magical as it sounds like :D

Then I overthought this answer for half an hour to see if I didn't have any other specific song from when I was a kid. And then... I remembered the first 'parent disapproval' I heard... Black Mamba - Ghetto Millionaire. Sweet 10something year old Patate thought it was the most AMAZING song she had ever heard. That was also the starting point of my music inputs no longer being considered in the car. :D

Did I yell 'oooooh Have you ever heard this song?' to my tired colleague :D yes I did :D

4) A song you’d put on a playlist for a character you love

As previous answer, I consider songs they would like. (Please someone confirm it's this way it's supposed to be working?) Since I know you are my pom pom supporter for the Brexit Fic, I am giving you songs for them and not their canon selves.

Zeb would listen to Bob Vylan, any of them really. Maybe Pretty Song is really matching his personality. He wants to punch people but Kanan and even Hera say physical violence is bad. He specially relate to the end of the song, as Hera smacks his head with a wooden spoon every time he swears.

Kallus is listening to sentimental sad songs but would never admit it in public. He especially cannot stay stable whilst listening to Hozier - It Will Come Back. He might have learned the chords and played it alone a few times but chut...

5) A song you think most of your followers won’t have heard before

This one was such a fun challenge for me. My playful mind obviously decided that I needed to puzzle the best, least known song I know about. Because of course it's not really asking 'most', I need to find something none of my followers have heard before.

I eventually thought of a small Japanese-canadian psychedelic surf rock band I had seen a few years ago. The concert had been amazing even if a massive Polish dude was right in front of me. The man was vibing the whole time about the flute, with some air play, drunk unsteady zoom of his phone, cheers and claps. I actually went to the guy at the end just to tell him that he had been amazing (Who thought it was a good idea to make an autistic extrovert) and we went to a few other concerts with together and his friends.

The band in question was Teke::Teke and I especially like their song Meikyu . They are AMAZING live. I will remember those gogo boots all my life... The only thing is, I then saw that they signed with Ubisoft to compose for the new Assassin's Creed ?? WTF they are known now, I'm so happy for them??

But obviously I had to find another song...

Then I remembered that the friend of the Polish guy was part of a band !! So please give some views to Kaiju Ultra, a (not so) small metal band from Luxembourg :D

I actually have spent an hour looking at the names of metal band in Luxembourg because my dyslexic ass could not remember how it was written. So in the mean time I thought of Maz Universe, an emo rapper from Luxembourg/Hungaria that a lot of people wish would represent Luxembourg at Eurovision if the Luxembourgish Jury were not cowards...

There you go :D Hope you liked the rambling since I now have fucked my sleep schedule :'D

[applesscribbles]

okok so i’ve had this scenario of Ais in my brain for a while and i felt the need to share it hhhhh

it’s a scenario of a bad end for Ais

so in this scenario MC has decided to submit themself to the Seaspring and become part of the hive mind so they convince Ais to let them drink from the seaspring. (this is my first time writing a scenario thing so sorry if it’s bad/messy)

“Just don’t say I didn’t warn you, Sparrow” Ais sighed as he took the cigarette butt out of his mouth, tossing it onto the ground and stomping on it with his spike covered boot.

MC nodded, they knew what they were getting themselves and they understood what they’d be giving up in return for freedom from the fear, anxiety and guilt that plagued their whole life. “I know Ais but this is the path I’ve chosen” they replied as they walked to the edge of the platform before the rippling red waves of the Seaspring and knelt down, looking down at their reflection thinking about their life before this.

“Is this worth it? Is this worth losing my entire identity and becoming a shell of the person I am?” They thought but quickly shook the doubts away before they overthought too much backed out “yes. I’ve wanted this for so long, I can’t waste this opportunity”

They didn’t notice that Ais had seated himself on the edge of the platform and was staring out into the red waves before them, seemingly lost in thought as well. Ais glanced at them then slid into the red water and positioned himself in front of them “c’mon Sparrow, let’s get this over with”.

Ais’ appearance in front of MC snapped them out of their thoughts and they looked at him with wide eyes “what are you doing..?” They asked confused “Helping.” He replied matter-of-factly as he slid his arms around their waist and slowly pulled them into the blood red water.

When they were fully submerged in the water Ais grabbed onto the underside of their thighs and hoisted them up onto his waist, in response MC wrapped their legs around him and hooked their arms around his neck and stared into his piercing crimson eyes. No words were exchanged between the two as they held each others gaze.

Ais let go of one of their thighs and scooped up a handful of the blood-red water and poured it into his mouth but didn’t swallow and instead grabbed the underside of their thigh again and slowly leaned in, their mouths were merely centimetres apart. It was once again MC’s choice to accept this and become bound to the Seaspring for eternity, this time they didn’t think twice and closed the gap between them. Their kiss was full of desperation.

Ais opened his mouth slightly and let the red water flow into their mouth, sealing the deal and binding them to the spring. MC let the water into their mouth and swallowed then slowly pulled away to catch their breath, they leaned forward and rested their head on Ais’ chest as they felt a wave of exhaustion hit them.

“Thank you, Ais… for everything…” they mumbled as sleep overtook them and they submitted to the Seaspring and it’s eldritch bring that inhabited the spring.

Ais didn’t respond and merely stared out in front of him, wondering if he could’ve stopped this from happening or if he could’ve convinced them not to go through with it but it was too late. All was said and done, now they will become part of the hive mind and their eyes will become the crimson colour just like his.

(sorry if this is bad but you get the vision right????)

[bunnyandcomet]

Thread 0: Blank Slate - Chapter 7

Yuzuru: Well then, I'll be taking a look at it.

Monday morning, at my usual salon......'s building, four floors above.

Behind a door located across from the entrance of the store "Aporia", in one corner of a bright, spacious office, he began to check over the set of documents I had presented to him as if he was well-accustomed to it.

Yuzuru: Let's see, this, and this......Okay. You've not missed any sections or omitted any seals.

Yuzuru Kise-san.

A brilliant staff member who has broad responsibilities involving both the management of the café and overall administration of Aporia.

According to Roka-san and Yuki-san, he's "the personification of safety and security".

Ito: (At first I had no idea what they could mean by that, but I understood the instant I met him.) (He's doesn't just "seem" kind; he has an atmosphere of kindness like he's wearing it as a coat. I've never even seen someone like him before.)

Yuzuru: Is it all right if I ask you to sign the employment contract as soon as our superior comes to work so I can pass it on to him by the end of the day?

Ito: Yes, anytime is fine.

Yuzuru: Then, just to make it official. I look forward to working with you from today onwards, Yashiro-san.

Ito: Likewise, I'll be in your care. ......Actually, I've already been helped a great deal by you. Thank you very much for your help with my resignation.

Yuzuru: Ahh, not at all. I really only helped out a little with that. Though I'm glad it was able to resolved successfully.

"You should work for us!"

It hadn't yet been a month since the night of that abrupt proposal.

According to Roka-san, "Aporia's outstanding employees freely showcase their respective strengths and offer support on all fronts", and as the result of that support, my resignation and re-employment was briskly concluded with no time to think it a hassle.

Not only that, but they had managed to fully absolve me of any responsibility for the adultery scandal that had become so complicated.

Ito: (It was so easy I was left wondering what kind of magic they had used. It was truly amazing.) (......I actually quit my job, huh.)

I had thought countless times that I wanted to quit, but not once had I thought that I would actually quit.

It was something that I thought I couldn't do, that I should not do.

Let alone with the help of other people. I'd never even tried to consider that.

And now, after all that, I still felt a little strange.

Ito: (? Ah. That birdcage isn't just a decoration, it's the real thing......)

Rare: Rare-kuuun? Mealtiiiime?

Ito: ! (Wh-whoa, that surprised me. That's right, some types of birds can talk. It's so cute......and really big!?) (It's a pretty pink...parro......t......? Are parrots usually this plump......?)

Yuzuru: You already ate breakfast, you know. There's no more.

Rare: Wahhh, ahhh......

Yuzuru: Shh.

Rare: Shh......

Yuzuru: That's it. Good boy. Sorry about him, he's quite the glutton.

Ito: No, I thought he was cute. Um......he's very fluffy and round.

Yuzuru: We call him Rare-kun. He's been at Aporia longer than I have. Rare-kun, how about you say hello?

Rare: Hello! Greetings, greetings!

Ito: !? Hello, my name is Yashiro...... Can he understand words as well as speak?

Yuzuru: It seems so. He was originally a lost bird though, so we're a little unsure of his breed and such. But he'll talk a lot to people he's fond of, so please get along well with him.

Ito: That's......if it's fine with Rare...san, then by all means.

Yuzuru: Ahaha. That's the first time I've heard someone refer to him with "san".

Ito: Eh. (Crap. Kise-san said he'd been here longer than him, so I thought it was rude to use "kun", but it backfired......! I overthought it.) (What do I do, it might seem cheeky instead if I just decide to call him by a nickname or something......) ......My apologies. I'll call him Rare-kun, then.

Yuzuru: It's all right. He seems to understand that he's being referred to as long as he hears "Rare". Even if you don't say his name, he'll do things like cut into the conversation anyway.

Ito: (So cute......)

Yuzuru: So feel free to refer to him however you wish. And not only with him.....with me, too, please refer to me as you like.

Ito: Eh.

Yuzuru: I'd be happy if you would treat me more casually as a friend that you work with. Ah, as much as you're comfortable with, of course. It's fine if it's little by little.

Ito: ......Thank you.

Yuzuru: Okay.

Ito: (He's seriously such a relief to talk to.)

I could tell that he's a person who speaks not for his own sake, but genuinely for the sake of person he's talking to.

A person who can create a comfortable atmosphere without the slightest hint of hostility or malice.

Ito: (Seems like I'll be able get along here quite peacefully. I'm really glad I was able to change my job to such a good pla——Ah.)

Yuzuru: ......Ah.

Ai: ......

Ito: (Huh?)

The person who had just entered the room slowly turned to look in our direction. His gaze seemed to pierce right through me as our eyes met.

The intensity of it had made my body stiffen at once, and I barely managed to lower my head.....

As he simply walked over towards the desks.

Ito: (......There's no reason that would have been a glare...but isn't the sharpness of his gaze way too much?) (It was even scarier because he's so handsome......speaking of which, Roka-san and Kise-san are both good-looking too.) (The people who work here really have visuals on a different level than the general population.)

Yuzuru: Good morning, Ai-san. What would you like today?

Ai: Coffee.

Ito: (Ai-san, I suppose. Unlike Kise-san, you can easily tell that he's hard to approach......)

Rare: Morning, morniiing!

Ai: Wrong. "Good morning". It's "good morning". Try saying it.

Rare: It's good morning! Try saying it!

Ai: Don't order me around.

Ito: (......Or maybe not.)

"Ai-san" took off his coat, and a skilfully prepared cup of coffee was placed on the desk he sat at.

After he had taken a small sip and placed it down again, Kise-san called me over to him.

Yuzuru: I'll introduce you. This is Ai Kosaka. He's the chief of your department, the "Main Office", and the person entrusted by Roka-san to oversee management matters and overall unification of Aporia.

Ito: (Management and unification......so that means the "real" boss is this Kosaka-san, I guess?)

Ai: ......

Ito: (......The amount of pressure I'm feeling isn't normal......) My name is Yashiro. I'll be in your care from today onwards. Chief Kosaka...is it all right if I call you that?

Ai: Just Kosaka is fine, you don't need to speak so formally. But do not forget that respect.

Ito: (Respect......)

Ai: You may be replacing Roka, but I expect you to properly work hard. Keep that in mind.

Ito: ......Yes, sir.

Although I felt differently about Roka-san's style of working, I replied without saying anything unnecessary.

That seemed to be the correct answer, as Kosaka-san nodded slightly and raised his coffee cup to his mouth......

And took the document that Kise-san offered to him—my employment contract.

Ai: Your work duties are as stated in the contract. As the deputy owner, you will be in charge of "in-store agency".

Previous | Index | Next

[kasienda]

Rena Rouge secret keeper??? 👀👉🏽👈🏽

Okay! Okay! I've been working on this one for since forever. It's Season four. Adrien resigns after his not being in on the plan backfires on team miraculous. Marinette is distraught but still insistent she can't know Chat's identity because of Chat Blanc. Alya proposes that SHE be the one to know his identity to act as go between. Then it's her job to keep the two of them in communication while also not tipping them off to one another. She's going insane and Nino is her anchor. She gets more close to all of them while this is happening. She might even fall in love more than she already is. It's supposed to focus on ALYA'S relationships with each of them, but all the corners of this OT4 square get some attention in this one because I was having too much fun.

I actually finished chapter one earlier this month. I didn't post it because I have so many wips right now, and don't think this one will take center stage any time soon and it's kinda looking like it'll be a big fic. But... could probably be talked into it pretty easily if literally any ONE person wants to read it and is willing to be super patient!

...

Preview:

Alya waited by her phone for Marinette to call, chewing the inside of her cheek. She shouldn’t have chewed Chat Noir out like that. She knew he could be sensitive and it definitely was not his fault that Marientte was ridiculous about secret identities.

Her phone buzzed in her hand. Alya glanced down. 

Marinette:

I’m going to be akumatized. 

The words blurred as Alya read them. Damn that stupid cat! What did he say?! 

Alya:

Where are you? 

Marinette:

In my room. 

Alya transformed immediately and took off towards Marinette’s balcony. She dropped through the skylight barely slowing down. Marinette was curled in the fetal position at the foot of her bed, sobbing brokenly.

Marinette had never looked so small. 

Gone was the clever and confident superhero everyone looked up to and relied upon. No one else ever got to see the Ladybug that overthought and doubted herself, the girl who was so nervous she couldn’t complete an intelligible sentence in front of her crush, the girl who took responsibility for everyone in their class and their city, the girl who felt so much and so deeply when she saw others were hurting.

Alya dropped to the bed, not bothering to detransform. Her arms wrapped around Marinette. Alya wished she could do something, anything at all to ease Marientte’s wracking sobs.

[leejenowrld]

just read the 5th part of love me back and GOD was i so disappointed at y/n.

however, i do understand that she over-thunk things too much to the point where she was slumped with literally everything because everything literally happened all at once. rina fucked up, her ex was mad, she overheard things, her boyfriend's best friend was also mad, taeyong was shit, and everything just dawned on her so fastly that she drowned in it. i just hope that she also tried taking small steps— especially towards mark, knowing he'd understand everything about her. i also know though that she'd most likely feel like a burden about it and probably thought that it was best for her to carry everything. it's so hard for someone who felt like everyone turned their backs on her to just try and fix things up, even little by little. my disappointment was then patched up by empathy, knowing that i understand where she's coming from.

i'm just happy that mark truly understands her the most because of his love, and i hope the best for them two. fuck taeyong for being such an asshole by the way. one part left so i hope that at the very least, he redeems himself xD.

hi firstly i just want to say that im sorry about my late response, lol i had some boyfriend trouble yesterday (too much of a long story, but i did speak about it on my discord aha if you’re interested in the drama and argument i had with him) but i’m here now

thank you for understanding her so well—it means a lot when readers can empathize with her struggles. she absolutely overthought everything and carried the weight of so much at once, to the point where she completely crumbled under it. it was just one thing after another, and she couldn’t catch her breath long enough to process any of it. you’re right, though—mark would’ve understood if she had opened up, but she’s the type to internalize everything, thinking it’s better to deal with it on her own rather than risk being a burden. it’s heartbreaking because her silence wasn’t selfish; it was her way of trying to protect everyone else, even if it came at her own expense.

i love that you saw how mark’s love for her is what really sets them apart. he doesn’t just love her—he sees her. he understands her flaws, her fears, and her hesitations, and instead of pushing her, he’s patient. that’s what makes them work. as for taeyong? yeah, he’s been awful, and his actions have definitely left scars on everyone involved. i can’t promise anything, but let’s just say the final part will explore a lot of unresolved emotions. thank you for sticking with the story—it means the world to me!

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Tale of the Nine-Tailed Meta: Helicopter Pad Scene in 1x04??

I’m rewatching all of Tale of the Nine Tailed season 1 again (because I’m a masochist apparently) and I just had a thought watching the scene in episode 4. It’s the one where Rang tries to convince Yeon to kill him on the helicopter pad after reminding him of that time he stabbed him (which is a whole nother post, mother of pearl).

What happens: Yeon acts like he’s going to, and takes the knife from Rang and charges at him, turning the knife in the last second so it won’t hurt him.

The first time I saw this, I just thought how bittersweet it was because Yeon clearly can’t bring himself to kill his brother no matter what he does. But now, I have Overthought It.

When Rang gives him the knife, Yeon could have just said nah never mind brat and dropped the blade, instead of pretending to charge for an up close stab. He could have ignored him, pocketed the knife and walked away. He could have avoided it other ways than getting close to Rang, who has been actively attacking him 24/7…and Yeon is not getting in Rang’s personal space to intimidate or threaten him, because Rang is ready to die anyway.

So now I am obsessed by the thought—when Yeon pretended to lunge at Rang, it is almost an embrace. Did he choose that method so that he could hug his brother, who wants to die so badly? Who wouldn’t accept or believe it if he did try to hug him now? When Rang asks Yeon to kill him, he’s completely serious. Yeon looks heartbroken, but it’s not piercing—more in a way that’s an old ache, familiar guilt.

And this part hurts to think about, but was that the first time he’d hugged Rang since the last time he pretended to tried to kill him?

And right after is his response to Rang desperately trying to provoke him by threatening Ji-Ah: “Even if you act evil, I know this isn’t who you really are.” I love this line: he’s simultaneously acknowledging the wrongness of Rang’s actions while calling him out that he knows this is a performance, an “act” of evil, and letting his brother know that he hasn’t given up on him, even though Rang hates himself and would vehemently deny this all happened. It’s brilliant micro-expression work from them both.

And now I’m sad so I’m going to eat tater tots and sulk about fictional foxes.

[jackalopc]

Redfly anon here to say I saw your post, please take your time! No rush, none of what I said was particularly deep or important or even very original, so I'm stoked just to know you've seen it at all! Really do appreciate the little acknowledgement post & tags in lieu of a "proper" response (for now), and I look forward to seeing what you have to say in response, in your own time.

I apologise for any parts of the ask that are unclear - I tried to express myself coherently, but I may have overthought some things and fumbled it in the final wording. Would also love to blame anything confusing on the sinus/barometric pressure headache I had earlier in the day, but that might be giving the headache too much credit - I probably just got nervous/excited, or was trying to edit something I'd written fot clarity, but instead made it worse lol, I tend to end up doing that a lot.

oh you're good anon, and i appreciate the follow up! i actually got this right as i posted more to it but yeah im prob gonna take my time with it over next day or two. i'm a deeply self aware person and i do know im also a very instinctive gut-reaction kinda person. and i recognize that like, my overall feelings on subjects may not change given a little breathing room but i do recognize i can almost always like articulate myself better.

you clearly sent that message in good faith and i want to respond in kind even if i disagree with some points. because ultimately thats what i always want to encourage (in life, in fandom, etc) which is just; being able to have a back and forth in good faith.

and again i really appreciate the ask! <3

[lilliths-mirror]

Trust Yourself

“If you want to make the wrong decision, ask everyone.”

I came across this nugget on instagram, via one Minovia Langlais, to give credit where it’s due. In conjunction with the book I’m re-reading (Strange the Dreamer) and some very recent life experiences, I’m contemplating the concept of self-trust quite a lot.

One of the first things I was taught growing up in my mother’s faith was the concept of ‘guilty in thought’ as a means of moral judgment. Roughly summarized- to think something was as damning as acting on it. In that branch of religion, there was no difference. The second thing I was taught is that, within those thoughts, would slither the voice of a serpent meant to drag one’s soul into a fiery afterlife. And those thoughts, too, counted towards your final bill, as it were.

So, I learned that my head was not a safe space and I could not trust my own thoughts.

Life and time (and an atheist father) did their duty, and through various encounters I eventually stepped away from the path that my mother had chosen for me. The lessons learned on that road, however, didn’t simply vanish because I no longer wore the symbol.

Without getting into unnecessary detail, this compounded with other factors that led to a crippling amount of overthought, outside consultation, and irrational choices made in fits of overwhelm. If one can never trust one’s own mind and one’s own judgment, how is one to know?

Except…we do, don’t we? On some level, I believe most of us have made a choice that defied some intangible voice within, gotten an undesirable result, and then said something to the tune of ‘I shouldn’t have second guessed myself.’

But wait?

Am I right about my hunches? Or can I not trust myself? Which is it?

Or, a third option, and the one I’ve come to settle on for myself.

In ignoring my own wisdom in favor of the sort imparted to me by others, I free myself from the responsibility that comes with deviation from the path while simultaneously allowing myself to seek refuge in the victim roll when things go awry.

‘Who would come to such a conclusion? This isn’t my fault.’

Then whose fault is it? I’m the one that made each of those choices over the years. And therein lay the responsibility I was avoiding.

But therein, also, lay my medicine.

I AM the one making the choices, and thus the power to make better ones is, and has always been, mine. Combining that with this wealth of ‘I knew it’ moments, do I not have sufficient proof that I CAN trust myself, if I take the time to think and listen?

I’ve decided that I do.

Of course, it’s not so simple as flipping a button. Overthinking still clutters the mind with chatter and anxiety still suggests every way in which every choice is wrong and certain to end in catastrophe. And those will be voices that I contend with for a lifetime.

My intuition approaches me in quiet whispers and calm knowing, while the former two factors make themselves known with vicious words and panicked screeching. It’s taking daily (sometimes hourly) practice and implementation of tools in order to hear such a calm sense of knowing over the cacophony within.

I’m getting better at it, though, as I learn through both triumph and defeat the importance of taking the time to hear that whisper, rather than rushing into fight-or-flight style responses and ego driven decisions. Like everything in life it’s a balancing act and obviously sometimes I’m in the wrong. That same soft voice tends to warn me of this as well.

Yet even when I stumble or make a poor choice, if I quiet the inner critic and allow myself to listen, I’m reminded that I’ve gotten up after every fall. I see proof that I have the strength to keep going, even when I don’t know how I’m going to take the next step. That, too, serves as evidence that I can place more faith in myself.

Like most lessons, I wish I’d found the empowerment that comes with taking responsibility sooner. But also like most lessons, it’s better late than never, and I’m choosing to give myself credit for that.

It is my hope, dear reader, that you give yourself similar credit. As has come to my attention in several instances lately- you truly have no idea who’s watching your progress, listening to your story, and finding inspiration in seemingly pointless details.