#I had so much anxiety about it happening and she sat there and lied

[universalvibes]

Like okay last post about this ever I promise because I think I put my finger on it now.

[milfsdoll]

Everybody knows that I’m a good girl, officer.

Officer!Agnes x reader

Summary: After almost burning your house down because of your boyfriend you end up at the police office, being interrogated by your ex girlfriend.

Warnings: +18, smut, dom/sub dynamics, dom!Agatha, bratty sub!reader, handcuffs, chocking, hair pulling, degrading kink, praise kink, strap on, slight spanking kink, daddy kink, fluff.

Word count: 4k

A/N: this is my first fic so I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing! Also english is not my first language <3

Masterlist

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You honestly didn’t know how it happened, one minute you were screaming at your cheater of a boyfriend and his fucking side chick and the next thing you remember was running out of the house, trying to get away from the flames.

You sighed in relief, finally at home after a long and stressful day at work, your boss was being a bitch again and making you do extra hours just because she feels like it. God how you hated her, you just wanted to go home, have a nice dinner and watch some bad movie with your boyfriend. 

As you reached your door, searching for your keys inside of your needlessly big purse you heard a sound coming from inside of the house, making you stop immediately, what was that? Again, another noise, was it… a moan? Pressing your ear to the door you heard it once again… and again… those were definitely moans “what the fuck?” Was he watching porn or something? I mean you couldn’t blame him if he did, you were barely home, but then you heard it, someone moaning his name. 

Your heart stopped for a moment, he could not… could he? 

With shaky hands and ringing ears you carefully opened the door, the sight of candles all around the hall and into the living room making you shake your head, no, no no no no no, three years, three years of relationship, this couldn’t be happening, right? He wouldn’t throw it all away, not like that, right? Your mind was playing with you, it had to be that.

Slowly, you made your way to said living room, the moans and grunts getting louder, and your heart pace getting quicker, and then you saw it, you were’t crazy, it was really happening “You motherfucker” your hoarse voice causing the room fall silent, your now, ex boyfriend, throwing the blonde girl off his lap, watching as she immediately put her clothes on and ran through the door, you didn’t care a bit about her.

You only focused how he made his way to you, the noises of him trying to talk to you into a pit of lies sounded blurry.

“Honey, it’s not what it looks like I swear” mhm… what a cliche lie,

“It’s her fault! She seduced me” great try, another one, 

“I’m so sorry, my love” huh, that was a good one… no,

“It’s not my fault you’re never home to get me off, I had to find someone else!” oh there was it, that son of a bitch.

Everything went red, you weren’t conscious of what you were doing, throwing everything your hands reached at him, screaming how much of a stupid fucker he was, not even trying to hide it, doing it in your own fucking home! And you didn’t realize one of the many things you threw at him was one of the big candles he set, hitting against the curtains.

It happened too fast, there was fire everywhere, and you stood there, frozen in the middle of the living room, staring at the burnt out wall, realizing what a stupid thing you did, I mean you didn’t even love him, you never did, but you trusted him, and you felt fucking betrayed. 

It wasn’t until a big flame got into your view you got out of your shock and ran out of the house, a police car already waiting for you.

And now here you were, sat in the interrogation room, leg shaking with anxiety and your heel kicking the floor repeatedly, staring at the door as if someone would appear faster. You’ve been waiting like 20 minutes already, and you knew there was only one person in the police office at this hour so you didn’t understand why she was making you suffer like this.

It’s something she have always loved to do.

As those thoughts ran through your head the door opened, revealing the brunette woman, she leaned against the door after closing it, studying you for a moment, she tried to grasp everything around her head, trying to understand the reason behind all of this “I’m very curious… what made you burn your house down and nearly killing you and your boyfriend?”

You scoffed and the last word “not my boyfriend, not after tonight” your words sounded furious and… painful, you squirmed in the chair, feeling quite uncomfortable “I didn’t mean to ok? You know I’m not that crazy” 

Agnes and you had a… situationship in the past, you both wanted more, wanted a serious relationship but her work and schedule were a problem, you barely saw her once a week or two causing you to argue a lot, so you both decided to part ways and stay friends, it was the best for both of you.

Or that’s what you wanted to believe anyway.

The older woman hummed, detaching herself from the door and sitting on the chair in front of you “I know” of course she knew, she knew you weren’t capable of hurting a flower “that’s why I’m asking you” 

You looked up at her from your fidgeting hands “I caught that fucker cheating, alright? I-I got furious and started throwing things at him and maybe… accidentally, I threw him a lit candle” replaying the scene in your head you let out a giggle, seeing his stupid face was worth it after all “but honestly Agnes? I don’t regret a thing”

Well… maybe you were a little crazy.

She fought back a smirk, she couldn’t blame you, he deserved it, she always knew that bastard wasn’t good for you, and if she had found out about it before she would have done the same thing, or worse, no one but she can mess with her girl “well, I’m sorry” she wasn’t, at all “but I’m afraid you have to spend the night in the tank”

What? No

No way you were gonna spend a second in that hell hole.

And just like that, an idea crossed your mind, it was risky but you knew very well it would work, for both of you.

“But… Aggie” you whined, looking at her with doe eyes, yes… you were playing that card “you know I’m a good girl” she flinched in surprise, feeling your foot caress her leg under the table. 

Those eyes, those fucking eyes.

You were playing a dangerous game, but oh… two can play this game and she hates to lose.

Without saying a word she got up, slowly making her way around the table, you watched her intently, like a prey watching her hunter’s next move, and then suddenly you let out a gasp, she threw your chair back with a kick, caging you between her arms, resting them on each side of the chair.

“Are you? Because I only remember you being a fucking brat” she was so close, so close you could smell her woody perfume, her breath against your face, fuck how you’ve missed her, every smell, every touch, every word of hers.

No one could ever compare to Agnes.

“And I remember you loving it… you loved to fuck the brattiness out of me, you loved to shut me up shoving your dick in my mouth” your hand carefully ran up her leg, watching her breath hitch you never took your eyes off hers, and just as you reached her crotch you felt something hard, making you bite you lip “you haven’t changed a bit Agnes, always packing around with that purple d-” 

She didn’t let you finish, grabbing you by the throat, shoving you up and against the wall, earning a huffed grunt from you and grabbing her wrist for support.

There she was, the rough Agnes you always loved, how she lost control of herself because of you, it made you weak on the knees, your mind already fogging into submission, but you had to fight it back, you wanted to test her limits, to totally break her, and let her break you from the inside in return.

On her end she knew she should tease you further, see how far you were capable of going but she was so weak for you, all this time apart from you, trying to find you in other girls but there wasn’t anyone like you, she only wanted you, she needed you, like she knew you needed her.

“You’re playing a dangerous game you know you’ll lose to here, pet”

God, you loved when she called you that, her pet, her plaything, her doll to play around anytime and anywhere she wanted. 

No.

Focus.

Break her.

“Is that the best you can do Aggie? Aww, maybe I was wrong, maybe you’ve lost your spark” 

Yes, yes, yes, that was the look you were searching for, that rough, primal look that sent you into a subspace without hesitation, you were ready to take whatever she wanted to give you.

Agnes pushed her leg between yours, pressing against your center, watching as your face squirmed in pleasure, she always found it fascinating how she could pull these kind of reactions out of you with such little actions “you really think you’re in control here, hm?”

You both knew the answer, you both knew there was no way you could take control.

“A-Agnes, is this really the place to do this?” Your voice came out hushed and shaky, your mind fighting to get a hold of itself.

The older woman chuckled darkly at your state “oh please, don’t tell me you’re chickening out now doll” and she knew you were right, the interrogation room was no place for this but she knew too neither of you were gonna be capable of waiting another second. 

She would deal with the consequences later.

Her hand on your throat loosened, letting you breathe for a bit, they travelled down your figure, stopping on your waist, her eyes burning into yours, you saw her expression change for a moment “you have no idea how much I missed you”

Shit, this wasn’t in your plan.

You gulped, trying to loose the nervous knot in your throat “I missed you too, every fucking day” your voice came out in a whisper, as if you were telling her your deepest secret, and maybe it was. 

Agnes pulled you close, her hands tightening around your waist as if you were going to disappear from her grasp, she had to make sure this was real and not just a dream.

Your lips ghosted against hers, your hands caressing her face, eyes still locked on each other, both of you trying to search for any sign of regret “are you sure you want this?” that made you nod eagerly “I need words baby”

“Yes, yes Aggie, I want you… I need you”

And then her lips were on yours, it was slow and sweet at first, both of you trying to savour the moment after all these years apart, but just as a moan escaped your lips Agnes lost it, her tongue asking for entrance licking your lip, you immediately let her, submitting to her, letting her take control of the kiss. 

You were always so good to her, always her good girl.

She walked backwards until her legs hit the table turning you both around “up” she simply said patting your hip softly, causing your puffy lips break into a smile, and of course you obeyed her, hopping on the table before grabbing her by the collar and smashing your lips against hers again.

Your impatient hands deciding to rip her flannel shirt after various failing attempts unbuttoning it, the action making the older woman to laugh against your lips “you’re buying me a new one” 

You huffed “you have plenty of those, officer” she smirked at the new title.

“Cute, but I like the old title better” her hands making their way into your pencil skirt, stroking your inner thighs, realizing how much she missed your soft and warm skin, how she missed having those thighs around her head, clenching and unclenching with every one of her touch.

“Okay… daddy” 

And just with that her whole mind went feral, grabbing the slit of your skirt she ripped it in two, making you gasp and looking at her in disbelief “well, now we’re even” before you could spit back at her she cupped your cunt, your head falling back with a moan “fuck, did I make you this wet, pet?” She bit her lip, rubbing the wet spot on your thong with her fingers. 

“You know you always do, even only the thought of you does” That stroked her ego, thinking how you got this messy only thinking of her, after all this time, it made her even more eager to ruin you.

You watched her as she got on her knees, your breath hitching as she travelled your thighs with kisses, pushing your legs apart so she could tease you further but never where you really wanted her. 

You knew what she wanted, teasing you like that, playing with the stripes of your thong with her fingers, but you just whined, grabbing her head attempting to push her to your center but she just sat back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow “come on… it’s not that hard to ask me nicely if you want it that bad, doll”

Groaning desperately, your mind trying to fight back the words you just stared at her with heavy breath, her eyes watching your every desperate move, knowing very well the fight that was going on in that pretty head of yours.

And she knew exactly how to get it out of you.

“Do it for me, pet, come on beg for daddy” she then continued with her kisses, now starting from your ankle, watching as you gripped the ends of the table tightly “be a good girl and beg for me to fuck you, sweet thing”

Your jaw hanged low, your eyebrows furrowing in total desperation.

Come on, you just have to say the word.

Be a good girl.

Her good girl.

“Please” 

It came out shaky, her kisses stopping to look at you “please, please fuck me Aggie”

Yes, much better. 

She had you just where she wanted you “there you are, my good girl”

Then you both rushed to discard your thong and the ripped skirt before she locked your legs around her shoulders, finally burring her head in your center, giving your clit a long lick that had both of you moaning, your hand flying to her hair, pushing her further into you, wanting to feel her even closer.

And she gladly did, wanting to get drunk of your taste, her skilled mouth nipping and sucking on your clit, loving every sound she pulled from you, holding your hips down as they desperately rolled towards her face. 

Your back arched into nothing as you felt her two fingers tease your entrance “fuck, daddy please” your submission making the older woman chuckle only of the vibrations to go right to your core, causing you to let out a strangled moan.

And deciding to put your suffering to an end Agnes slowly pushed her large digits inside you, feeling your legs tense around her head, her pace painfully slow, to focused on your face and reactions, your head almost snapping back as she curled her fingers inside of you, making you struggle to breathe at the amount of pleasure she was giving you.

She could never get enough of you, your intoxicating taste and addicting sounds, she could spend the rest of her life between your legs, driving you absolutely mad with just her mouth and fingers, feeling your warm hole, how you clenched and unclenched around her fingers trying to last a little more only to have her like this.

Quickening her pace, her got up, pulling you into a deep kiss as her thumb continued the abuse on your clit, swallowing your whines and moans and letting you taste yourself, her free hand making it’s way inside of your top, finding your nipple and pinching it between her finger, she always loved how you went braless everywhere, making it easier for her to access.

And when she felt your core clench harder, knowing you were already close to your orgasm, all her movements stopped “w-what are you doing?” you whined out, tears threatening to spill from your eyes from the overstimulation.

“Shh, it’s ok” she kissed your temple “open your mouth”

Without hesitating for a second you obeyed, her fingers slipping in, making you instantly close your mouth and suck, watching as her lips parted and pupils darkening in pleasure, your tongue playing with her fingers, cleaning them before she got them out, your mouth letting out a ‘pop’ sound. 

She then suddenly pushed you off the table and turned you around, pressing your front against the cold surface, manhandling you in the position she wanted “you better keep your hands there” she said locking your hands on your back.

“I will, daddy” you bit your lip from giggling shaking your ass against the hard bulge in her pants, knowing the effect that action had on the woman. 

There was silence for a moment, you could feel her eyes on you, and then- 

slap!

You gasped in surprise, your body jumping forward “keep that up and it won’t be the only one” you felt her deep voice right in your ear, her hand caressing you red and itchy bottom cheek.

You couldn’t deny and say you didn’t like it, on the contrary, it felt fucking good, but right now you just wanted her to fuck you raw, so just nodded keeping in mind to bring that side of her another time. 

The sound of a belt unbuckling reached your ears, your heartbeat fastening in excitement and your legs rubbing against each other for some friction yes please, please, please, your hands twitched, needing to grab onto something, or to feel her under your touch “keep. them. there.” 

It was easy, right?

Wrong.

You swallowed a whine in anticipation, feeling her hand running down your back, stopping on your waist, and just as you felt her rub against your entrance your hands flew to grab the table for support “oh… my poor pet…” she roughly grabbed your wrists, and after a second you felt something cold around them, and then a click “you asked for it” 

Did she just put her handcuffs on you? Fuck, you shouldn’t find it as hot as you found it.

She took advantage of that distraction to push herself inside of you, watching your whole body squirm in pain and pleasure while a loud moan escaped your lips, stilling for a moment, letting you adjust to her size, and it only took her seeing your hips start to push back into her to slide out almost entirely before roughly pushing into you again, the table cracking at the action “fuck!” 

She kept her rough but slow pace, the sounds of your moans and whines getting louder, oh how she missed having you like this, all fucked out because of her, your little brain only filled with her and the pleasure she was giving you. 

You felt her hand interlock into your hair, and in a sudden move your back was flushed against her front, both of you seeing your reflexion in the mirror on the wall “look at you… already so ruined and I just started fucking you” you clenched around the strap, wishing she could feel how your body reacted to her words, but she could see it, she saw how your breath stopped for a second, how your eyes closed with a cute little frown on your eyebrows.

Her free hand made it’s way around your throat, squeezing it just the right amount to make your mind fog, your moans fighting to get out as her pace quickened, but it wasn’t enough, you needed more “p-please” you managed to let out, looking at her through the reflexion.

Just like she could read your mind she removed her hand from your hair and painfully slow travelled down your body, rubbing and pinching your nipple, scratching your lower stomach, before finally making you roll your eyes back, pressing your clit between her fingers, while her dick hit that right spot it had you seeing stars. 

The obscene sounds of your skin against hers and your strangled breath turning the older woman on more than she would admit, her praises in your ear as she abused your clit faster “Good girl… you’re doing so good for daddy”

Your legs already shaking, the knot on your lower stomach getting harder to hold “d-daddy please, please let me cum” your almost pornographic moans getting more desperate by the second “fuck- please I’m so close!”

“Cum for me” it only took those words from her to reach your orgasm, your lips parting in an ‘o’ shape, summing all over her strap.

She slowed her pace, helping you through your orgasm, only stopping when your limb body fell on the cold table, making you shudder.

She let you catch your breath for a second, stroking your back up and down before she stood you up again, turning you around to see your fucked out face.

You opened your eyes to look at her smirking face, causing you to chuckle “hi” you whispered, closing the gap between your lips, both of you humming “are you gonna uncuff me now, officer?” 

“Not yet” she pecked your lips lovingly again before looking at you, with those demanding eyes “on your knees” 

You stared at her for a second, your breath hitching once again in anticipation, and slowly you got on your knees before her, watching her with doe eyes “you know what to do, clean your mess doll” and that you did, your tongue darting out to lick her shaft from the base, never taking your eyes off hers, slowly taking the large, purple dick into your mouth.

Her hand rested on your cheek, her thumb softly wiping away a tear that fell from your eye, her shaft hitting the back of your throat “breathe beautiful, through your nose” she hummed as she held your face down, enjoying having you like this again, your mouth full of her, struggling to breathe and those beautiful tears on your face. 

So fucking obedient for her.

When you started to cough around her she finally pulled out, helping you get up, and sitting you on the table while uncuffing you, her lips kissing all over your face as you recovered, your hands fisting on her navy blue tank top as soon as they were free “you did so good for me, sweetheart” she whispered against your lips, making you smile. 

“Thank you Aggie” 

You rested your forehead against hers, both of you savoring the sweet moment, her hands tightly around your waist in a possessive and protective way.

These were the moments you missed the most, her sweet self taking care of you, making sure you were ok like she didn’t just fuck your brains out a minute ago.

It was almost comical.

“So… officer, am I still spending the night in the tank?” She laughed at that, kissing your forehead softly, you were insufferable.

“Thinking about it… it will be the best if you spend the night at my place” you bit your lip suppressing a smile, you were too excited to wake up in the morning next to the older brunette woman “what do you think?”

“I’d love to” you whispered before pulling her into a loving kiss.

She helped dressing up again, giving you a pair of sweats she had in her office, and when you were gonna leave her office she grabbed you hand, pulling you flush against her.

She stared at you trying to get the words out, you could see the fight she was having in her mind projected in those blue eyes, so you planted a soft kiss on her nose, your hands caressing her cheeks trying to calm her thoughts, and then she said it.

“Be mine”

Your eyes locked, her eyebrows furrowing in worry as you took a second to reply, but when your lips broke into a smile she knew the answer.

“I have always been yours Agnes”

[fullsunstrawberry]

Love Beyond Labels

synopsis: the misunderstood "rich girl," reveals her academic struggles to a loner with his own challenges. In an unexpected twist, they form a unique friendship—she gets study help, and he gains a true companion.

genre: slice of life, humor, fluff, angst, smut, freaky nerd

warnings**: bullying, swearing, self-hate, mentions of anxiety, jokes of social "suicide", dreamies are kinda mean in this..., no condom mentioned, praising, fingering, marking, lots of boobie touching cause haechan loves them okay, make-up sex, idk probably more lol

word count: 8.9k

a/n: first ever written fanfic....kinda nervous haha

School is easy, all you have to do is sit there and look pretty. Well, that's what all your classmates thought. They didn't know how difficult school was for you. You never got what was happening in class. Anytime you got an answer wrong, no one batted an eye because who expects the rich pretty girl to get an answer right? But little did they know you would cry in the janitor's room after each time. You just hated feeling so dumb.

"Ugh, I'm not ready for today's test," Jaemin huffed, plopping down beside you.

"Wait, there's a test?" you sighed, already predicting the outcome.

Mr. Moon whispered a half-hearted "good luck" as he handed you the test, before moving on and finishing handing out everyone else’s tests. He already knew how it was going to go.

You hated how even the teachers knew you were stupid.

After the test, you already knew you failed it. You were the last one to turn your test in, when Jaemin asked if you wanted to meet up with him, Jeno, Mark, and Chenle for lunch. You nodded telling him you had to stop at the office real quick.

Instead of walking towards the office, you sped walked to the janitor's closet, already feeling the tears threaten to escape. You knew you failed that test. Even though you acted like you didn’t know you had a test, you lied. You’ve been studying for it for a long time. Even canceling plans. But you would never admit it to anyone. You studied your ass off but still failed, that’s even more pathetic than forgetting about it.

You quickly took out the keys and opened the door quickly so no other student would see it. You thank the janitor for being so forgetful that you could easily steal one of his keys. He has a bunch of copies, one missing wouldn’t hurt. Right as you locked the door you sat in the corner, not even bothering to turn the lights on.

you were always an ugly crier, but it was okay cause you bought the most expensive waterproof makeup for these occasions. Only a quick bathroom stop is needed before meeting your friends for lunch.

As you were drying your tears you heard the door jiggle and then open. you quickly hid your face just in case it was someone you knew.

"Y/N?" a voice you didn't recognize spoke, interrupting your quiet moment in the janitor's closet.

Confused, you wiped your face and looked up at the mystery voice. You kind of recognized the thick black glasses boy in front of you. You knew he was in some of your classes but you couldn’t think of his name.

Fearing the worst you cleared your throat before asking “What do you want?”

“Uh, I don't want anything!" the boy replied, swiftly stepping into the room and closing the door. You noticed he had his lunch tray with him. "This might sound pathetic, but I like to eat my lunch here."

confused, you asked him “Why would you do that?”

“Well I don’t really have friends and I don’t want to get picked on” he explained sitting down next to you, not having much of a choice because there wasn’t that much room.

"Oh, I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll just go," you said, preparing to stand up. But before you could, he quickly called out your name, making you look down at him.

"You're not bothering me! You can stay and talk about what's going on. I know we don't talk, but I can listen to you." His hopeful eyes convinced you to sit back down. You quickly wiped away your tears before confiding in him.

“You can’t tell anyone this!“ You put your pinky finger up and put it near him. “promise?”

“I don’t have many people to tell” he let out a small laugh while putting his hands up defensively. “promise!” he took your pinky finger in his

“okay” you nodded “I failed my psychology test today”

you looked at his face and he looked confused “What?” you questioned

“Oh it's just, you always fail your tests. Everyone knows that”

As he said that you felt the tears start to come back. Of course, he wouldn’t get it. Why did you ever think he would get it?

“I didn’t mean it like that, I’m so sorry” he panicked “I shouldn’t have said that!”

you turn away, quickly wiping away your tears again. “no I get it, I’m the dumb girl”

"No, no, no, that's not what I meant. Hey, want to hear something embarrassing about me? I'm only here because of a scholarship. That's why no one wants to be friends with me!" he confessed.

you start to giggle “That’s not embarrassing!”

“It made you laugh! But here is something actually embarrassing, my teacher forgot my name today. Even though I've had her for the whole year.”

Your eyes widen, feeling bad that you forgot his name.

“ahh you don’t know my name either”

you smile “If you tell me your name, I’ll forgive you”

“haechan”

“That's a nice name, haechan” You smiled at the way it rolled off your tongue. 

“thank you, I have a proposition or a proposal”

“I know what proposition means” you teased

he giggled, “I’ll help you study”

your eyes lit up, “really? What can I do for you?”

he avoided your eyes and cleared his throat “Be my friend”

your eyes softened “That’s not hard, I was going to be your friend after this conversation anyways” You pushed his shoulder.

He finally met your eyes and smiled at you. “then you don’t have to do anything, friends help friends”

As the bell faintly rang, you pulled out your phone. "Here, give me your number so we can talk."

he paused for a second before taking your phone

standing up and thanking him before you quickly left to go touch up your makeup in the bathroom. Reminding yourself you would have to tell Jaemin you were sorry for ditching him and the guys.

You walked into your next class as the late bell rang. 

“there you are! Jaemin told me you ditched us” Mark laughed. 

“I didn't mean to ditch you guys, just got carried away.” 

“carried away, with what?” 

“I was working on my psychology essay, and I can't believe she makes us write one every week!” you huffed out, setting your bag down before sitting down. 

“Could have just said you were talking to guys instead of lying.” Mark laughed, too interested in whatever was on his phone to notice your face drop. What did your friends think of you? 

“What do you mean?” 

Mark glanced at you before laughing, “You always procrastinate, there is no way you even started it!” 

Instead of arguing you turned to face the front, pulling out your notebook. The essay is due in two days, of course, you started it. There would be no way for you to finish the four pages if you didn't. Turning towards Mark again you huffed out, “Well someone is helping me study.”

Shocked, Mark quickly faced towards you “What? What happened to y/n?” 

You scoffed, “Really? That surprising”

“I am, you never really cared for grades”

“Well I'm sick of failing every test” 

“So who's helping you out?” Mark leaned towards you “Could have just asked me”

“His name is Haechan”

Mark’s eyebrows furrowed “That one kid that eats in the bathroom?”

“He doesn't eat in the bathroom!” You defended 

“Just be careful, he’s a little weird” 

“What do you mean, you don’t even know him” You started to get upset.

“He doesn't really talk to anyone”  He could see how your face scrunched up and you were about to start an argument with him so he shrugged, not really caring “Why didn't you ask me, I'm one of the top students”

You didn't really want to explain what happened so you just blew his question off. Before he could press you for an answer, the teacher walked in. 

Haechannie🤓🐻: When do you want to start?

Y/N☺️: I have my psychology paper due soon. Could you read it over before I turn it in?

Haechannie🤓🐻: Yeah meet me at the public library after school 

Y/N☺️: Thanks!

Haechannie🤓🐻: No problem :)

Jaemin and Jeno are probably thinking you're going crazy when you tell them you didn't need a ride after school. But you didn't want them to drop you off at the library and question you the same way Mark did in class. So you just said you were meeting up with a girlfriend of yours who wanted to walk to the park. At the mention of a girl, they didn’t question anything. 

Now that's how you ended up looking around the library for Haechan. He wasn't on the first or second floor, so you started making your way up to the third floor. Questioning why he even would go all the way up there, no one liked the third floor. As you looked around you spotted Haechan sitting at a table in the corner. 

As he heard you coming, he looked up and smiled. “Took you long enough!”

“Who even uses the third floor of the library, all the books up here are just textbooks.” You huffed out, setting your bag down and taking out everything you needed. 

“That’s the whole point! It’s quiet up here” 

You can admit, that he has a point! Maybe you will actually start using the third floor more. As if you ever go to the public library without your friends dragging you there. Liking your room for studying a lot more because there are no judging eyes. 

“Okay, let’s get started! Let me see what you have already” Haechan smiled at you. 

You pulled out your notebook and quickly found the page you started to write on before handing it to Haechan. As you handed it to him, your fingers brushed, which made Haechan pull away quickly. 

You watched as his eyes read through everything you wrote. Anxiety started to fill you up. What if it was really bad and he thinks you're even more of an idiot than before? Ugh, he’s a nice guy, he wouldn't think like that. But you don’t really know him— Before your inner monologue continues Haechan put down your notebook. Shock showed in his eyes. 

“Wow, that was really good! The way you described Sensation and Perception was easy to understand. How do you usually fail with papers like this?”

Shocked that he actually liked your paper it took you a couple of seconds to register his question. “I usually get good grades on my papers and in-class work, but tests always seem to get to me.” 

“mmm, I understand,” Haechan hummed. “A lot of people have test anxiety, I have some tips I can give you if you want” 

Your eyes lit up as you nodded, eager to hear what he had to say. 

“It’s getting quite late, maybe we should start wrapping this up?” Haechan yawned. 

You quickly looked at the time, not believing him that it was so late. You gasped, shocked at how quickly time passed with Haechan. “Oh, I better get going, before my mom starts to ask questions.” 

“Yeah, I have to get going too. It was nice hanging out with you.” Haechan quickly gathered up all his things before moving to leave. 

“Wait!” 

Haechan paused looking at you confused. 

“What are you doing tomorrow after class?” 

“Nothing, until I have to go in for work” Haechan sighed “I don’t want to study again tomorrow”

A little taken aback by the change in his tone, you quickly cleared things up “That’s not what I was going to ask you! I wanted to know if you wanted to hang out, like at the mall or something”

you couldn't quite read the emotion on Haechan’s face. Was he shocked? Happy? Confused? Maybe a little bit of each. 

“Oh um yeah, we can hang out.” 

“Good, I’ll text you the details” You smiled before turning away and leaving him to stand there not knowing what was going on in his head. 

The final bell rang as you rushed out to find Haechan. Earlier promising that you both would take the bus to the mall together. 

Your eyes lit up seeing him standing at the bus stop, calling out a quick “Haechan” to get his attention. Which seemed to work as he found you in the crowd of other students. 

As you finally pushed through all the people to get to Haechan, your face dropped. He wasn't looking at you anymore. “What’s wrong?” 

“You don’t want to be caught hanging out with me, it will ruin your reputation.” He whispered 

Taken aback you laughed, which turned into a heavier laugher. Shocked and confused by your reaction, Haechan turned towards you, watching you laugh like you were crazy. “I’m not joking! Hanging out with me in public is literally social suicide”

You took a couple of deep breaths before answering him “Haechan, this isn't some teen drama! Who even cares about that” 

Haechan looked embarrassed by this and started to fiddle with his fingers. You saw the bus starting to pull up so you took hold of his hand. Stopping him from fiddling with them and making sure you didn't lose him to the crowd of people waiting for the bus. 

If you were paying more attention, you would have seen how bright his cheeks turned. Before quickly snapping out of it. 

As you got onto the bus, you noticed how full it was. Only noticed one seat in the back. quickly you pulled him towards the back and offered him the seat. 

Shaking his head, he told you to sit down. But you insisted that you were okay with standing. Looking around you noticed the other people starting to get annoyed, even hearing an older lady saying she hates teenage couples. 

Before he could protest, you pushed him down onto the seat and sat on his knee. “Are you happy now? It’s a win-win situation, we both get to sit now” You smiled. 

The whole ride there was silent. Maybe the stunt you pulled on the bus was a little too much for him to handle. 

But you didn't let that stop you from grabbing his hand when the bus finally arrived at the mall. Excitedly telling Haechan about all your favorite stores and sales that are going on right now. 

He didn't seem to care when you kept dragging him to different clothing and makeup stores. It wasn't until you noticed how uncomfortable he was did you realized how rude you were being. 

“Oh shit sorry, where do you want to go next?”

 Taken back by this Haechan quickly tried to brush it off “No it’s okay, where do you want to go next?” Not letting him dodge the question you push him for an answer. “No, come on, let's go somewhere you like next!”

“Uh I like Gamestop” 

“Then we are off to Gamestop, I know where it is because it’s next to my favorite shoe store!” 

Haechan’s eyes lit up when he saw the new Lord of the Fallen had been released. “Cool! I’ve been waiting for this to come out” But as quickly as he picked it up he put it down. 

“You're not going to get it?” You questioned

“Oh no, it’s too much money” He turned to look at other things, leaving you the opportunity to grab and pay for the game without him knowing. 

Finding him in the back, you asked if he was finished looking around. Which earned you a nod. As you stepped out of the store, you held up the bag. “What did you get?” Haechan asked, confused. 

“It’s for you” You giggled handing him the bag. 

He hesitated before looking in the bag and gasping “Y/n, this is $80!” 

“That’s nothing! I love buying my friends things that I know they will like” You smiled, hooking your arm with his. “Now I'm hungry, let's go eat.” 

The food court wasn't your first choice, but haechan insisted. Arguing that he knew you were going to try to pay for his food if you went to some fancy restaurant. Which he is right, you would have. But you settled for paying for his Taco Bell instead. 

“Let's go near the carousel I love the view and plus not a lot of people sit over there”

Haechan nodded, letting you show the way. 

Everything was going very smooth. You wanted to do this again and again. But as you were in your own world you heard voices call out “Hyuck”. Haechan's eyes widened and looked around. 

Two boys, one tall and one short, sat down near you guys. 

“Long time no see, we missed you!” The taller one said either not knowing or not caring about your presence. 

The shorter one cleared his throat before asking Haechan “So are you going to introduce us” 

Haechan laughed nervously before looking at you, pointing to the shorter one “This is Huang Renjun” and then pointing to the taller one who seem to now noticed you were there “And this is Park Jisung” 

Before Haechan could speak you smiled “I'm F/N L/N!” 

Haechan winced at your mentioning your last name. You looked at the other guys and their faces dropped. Confused, you asked “what's wrong?” 

Haechan quickly cleared his throat and explained “It’s nothing! We used to know someone with that last name and so they're just surprised.” 

The two boys looked confused before nodding “Sorry, just bad memories” Renjun forced a smile before getting up and announcing “Oh we’re gonna be late for our movie, let’s go Jisung” 

They left before you could even get in another word. Noticing your shock, Haechan shakes his head “Those are my friends from my childhood, we haven't talked in a while because we go to different schools now.” 

Not wanting to push you just hummed.

Something felt weird but you didn't want to bring it up. Today has been one of your favorites and you didn't want to sour the mood by letting Haechan know his friends acted a bit rude. 

So the whole time you didn't bring it up, instead going back to your cheery self. After a few more stores, you both decided that was enough for today and Haechan really needed to get home so he could get enough sleep before having to go to his part-time job. 

Soon days, weeks, and months flew by. Hanging out with Haechan really made things go by so quickly. You liked his company. So did your teachers, complimenting you on passing all your tests. One even accused you of cheating, but Haechan stepped in and confessed he had been helping you study.

Even your parents seemed to notice the change in your mood. Your mother loves getting her cheerful daughter back. The only people who seemed to hate the “new and improved y/n” were your best friends. It started with Jaemin accusing you of sleeping with Mr. Moon because he swore there’s no way you could have gotten scored higher on your test then him. Obviously, you were pissed that he could even suggest something like that.

So you ended up admitting to your not-so-secret tutoring sessions to your friends one day at lunch.

“So that's where you've been during lunch?” Chenle questioned. 

“Yes, we’ve been eating in the library together” 

“So you’ve been ditching us for that nerd this whole time!” Jeno’s voice raised, causing some of the other students in the cafeteria to look at your table. 

“Don’t call him a nerd!” 

“But he is one!” Jeno threw his hands up in the air. 

“Just because he gets good grades? Then why don’t you call Mark or Jaemin a nerd?”

“Y/N Come on, why are you defending him? He’s just some loser who eats in the bathroom when you're not at school” Chenle laughed, trying to get everyone to calm down. 

Taken back by how rude your best friends were, you looked around and made eye contact with Haechan. 

He was supposed to meet your friends today. He was really excited after you hyped all of them up. But as he was walking to your table, you could tell that he heard everything. 

You saw how his eyes were starting to water. 

“Maybe he is a nerd but he is way hotter than all of you! Bet he can actually get me to cum unlike any of you” You smirked knowing this would get on their nerves. Hitting it where it hurt, their egos. 

You heard Jaemin scuff, “Yeah right, we all know your type! You wouldn't even kiss him” 

Taking the challenge, you looked around and spotted Haechan again. But this time his face was red and his eyes were wide. You smirked, “wanna bet?” 

The tension in the cafeteria was thick after your bold statement, and all eyes seemed to be on the unfolding drama. Your best friends wore expressions of disbelief mixed with irritation. You made your way over to Haechan.

Haechan's eyes showed surprise, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. You could feel the weight of the challenge in the air as you took a hold of his sweater collar, the fabric warm beneath your fingers. The cafeteria buzzed with hushed whispers and curious glances, but your focus was solely on him.

Pulling him down gently, your lips hovered near Haechan's ear, and you breathed out a teasing question. "Can I?" The words were soft, carrying a hint of playfulness.

In response, Haechan nodded fervently, his eyes wide with anticipation. "Please," he whispered back, his voice barely audible.

With a mischievous smirk, you seized the moment, closing the distance between your lips and Haechan lips. Time seemed to slow as the cafeteria fell into a stunned silence, and then erupted into a mix of gasps, whispers, and scattered applause. The unexpected turn of events had caught everyone off guard, including your best friends, who now wore expressions ranging from shock to disbelief.

Breaking the kiss, you stepped back. You saw how Haechan went to lean back in again. Quickly placing a short kiss to his lips you whispered “everyone watching us” His eyes widened and looked around the cafeteria. Making you giggle and whisper a hushed “Cute”

After your little stunt in the cafeteria, everyone’s been asking you who that guy was and if you two are dating. You already knew poor Haechan was getting the same questions. 

Y/N😊❤️: People keep asking me if you’re a good kisser

Haechannie🤓🐻: Well am I?

Y/N😊❤️: Absolutely

Y/N😊❤️: What are you doing after school?

Haechannie🤓🐻: Working and then going home

Y/N😊❤️: When do you get off? Want to hang out with you

Haechannie🤓🐻: 9 pm, at the convenience store on the other side of town

Haechannie🤓🐻: we can hang out only if you promise to kiss me again

Y/N😊❤️: we’ll see ;)

The convenience store was a far walk from your house so you asked your friend Yuna to drive you. But that didn’t stop your parents from scolding you for going out so late. All you had to say was that you were staying over at Yuna’s house. Yuna is your mom's best friend's daughter. She had no problem with this because last summer you had to do the same thing for her. 

There was only a few people at the convenience store. You saw Haechan slumped over at the counter scrolling through his phone. “Aren’t you supposed to be working”

Haechan jumped up from his sitting position, ready to be scolded by his manager. But when his eyes landed on you he shook his head “Ah you scared me! I still have 10 minutes until closing” 

“I wanted to get here early, I heard there is a cute cashier boy here” you smirked

You can already see Haechan’s face start to become a light shade of red. 

“Stop flirting with me, I'm working!” 

Before you could say a comeback, an older guy put down his stuff on the register. 

“She’s just trying to get free stuff” The random guy scoffed

Taken aback you scoff, tilting your head “What do you mean by that?”

“You’re too pretty for him”

You looked at Haechan and saw his head lower. 

Looking back at the guy you laugh “Nerdy guys are the freakiest” you winked

Haechan’s eyes widened, not being able to make eye contact with anyone. 

“All girls are the same” The guy harshly stated before throwing ten dollars on the counter and leaving. 

“How do you know I’m freaky?” Haechan busted out laughing. 

“I don’t but guys hate when their masculinity is threatened” You shrug.

“So what do you want to do after I close” 

“I don’t know, I told my parents I was staying over with a friend tonight. So I’m all yours”

“All mine? I like the sound of that” Haechan smirked leaning in “I live alone”

You gasp “How do you live alone?” 

“It’s a small place, I don’t have a relationship with my parents anymore” Haechan grabbed the keys to close the shop. “It’s not too far from here, only a five-minute walk” 

Entering Haechan's apartment, the reality of his living space matched his earlier description. It kind of reminded you of a college dorm. Only a small living area with his bed and a tiny hallway that leads to his bathroom. 

As you took in the surroundings, Haechan couldn't help but laugh at your reaction. "I told you it was small," he remarked, his eyes glinting with amusement. "It's not the fanciest part of town, but it's affordable."

"It's nice!" you assured him, a genuine smile gracing your face.

Haechan, skeptical, teased, "You don't have to lie to me."

Your laughter filled the room. "I'm not lying! I was expecting much worse for a guy living alone." Your lighthearted comment elicited a chuckle from Haechan, getting rid of any lingering tension.

Looking around the compact space, you ask, "So, what do you want to do?"

"I was promised a kiss," Haechan said with a mischievous smirk.

Your laughter continued, but before you could respond, you felt his hand gently cup your face, pulling you into a kiss. This wasn't like the previous one in the cafeteria; it was more intense, and filled with passion.

As the kiss deepened, Haechan guided you backward until the back of your knees met his bed, causing you to gently fall onto it. Yet, he didn't break the kiss, instead, he adjusted his position to hover over you. Placing his knee between your legs, he elicited a soft moan from you. The sound only fueled Haechan's desire, and he broke the kiss momentarily, his gaze locking onto yours.

"You sound so beautiful," he murmured, his eyes fulled with desire. His fingers delicately traced the curve of your jawline, leaving a trail of electrifying sensations.

The air was charged with a blend of desire and anticipation as Haechan, deepening the kiss and found a comfortable position on top of you.

His hands, warm and assertive, traced subtle patterns along your sides, sending shivers down your spine. The small apartment seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you entangled in the intoxicating rhythm of the kiss.

As the kiss continued to deepen, Haechan's movements became more deliberate. He pressed himself against you, and the warmth of his body radiated through the layers of clothing, intensifying the sensations.

The noisy world outside seemed to disappear, leaving only the echo of shared breaths and the subtle noise of hearts beating together.

Breaking away from the kiss, Haechan's eyes held an unspoken question, seeking affirmation in the depths of your gaze. Without uttering a word, you nodded, granting permission.

Haechan's lips traced a path from your mouth, leaving a trail of lingering kisses along your jawline and down your neck. Each touch sent shivers through your body, awakening a heightened awareness of the closeness between you.

As Haechan's fingers delicately traced patterns on your skin, he whispered “God I can’t get enough of you”. 

“I need you inside of me right now” You moaned as he started to take your shirt off.

Your words seemed to ignite something in Haechan, his eyes darkening with desire. He gently removed your shirt, his touch making your skin tingle.

You felt Haechan’s warm breath against your skin as he buried his face in your breasts. The sensation of his lips approaching your skin caused you to gasp, and the sound fueled his desire. As his lips made contact with your nipple, you felt a wave of pleasure run through you.

“God, Haechan”

His lips found yours once again. The pleasure of his lips on yours left you intoxicated.The feeling of the soft sheets against your bare skin and the warmth of Haechan’s body made you feel safe, yet vulnerable. Your heart skipped a beat as you felt his lips take your nipple in his mouth yet again, and the pleasure and excitement was overwhelming. The intensity of the sensations had left you without words, and you felt yourself wanting to scream with pleasure.

“G-God”

The moan that escaped from your lips seemed to ignite something in Haechan, and he moved his mouth to your other breast, leaving a trail of hot kisses. Each one caused you to gasp with pleasure and your hands explored the his back from under his shirt. The pleasure and excitement was too much, and you needed him inside you, but he kept teasing you in different ways.

When he finally moved to kiss you again, his hands gently moved down your body to rest on your waist. He seemed to be asking if it was okay to continue, and you nodded, silent. His hands moved to take off your pants, and you felt your heart start to race. 

His touch was gentle and soft, and his lips were warm against your skin, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps. You could feel the bulge in his pants pressing against you. The feeling of his skin against yours was intoxicating. As his hands kept tracing patterns across your skin. As his lips reached your thighs, you moaned with pleasure, begging for more

"Please..." you moaned, "I need you inside me."

Haechan looked up and gave you a mischievous grin, and his body tensed for a moment before he moved to undress himself. His movements left you breathless, and you stared at him as he removed his pants. The light of the room glinted off of his skin, and you felt your body start to quiver with anticipation.

His eyes seemed to penetrate you as he looked at you, as if he could see things you didn't want anyone to know about. There was a moment of silence as the two of you stared at each other, before he moved over you and hovered on top of you. The moment was perfect, the way his body molded to yours.

His lips found yours once again, and the kiss started off soft but eventually deepened. The intensity of the moment was something you had never experienced before, and your body felt on fire as his hands explored your skin. As his fingers traced patterns on your skin, you felt more and more aroused, and you moaned with pleasure as his fingers moved down across your sensitive skin to your underwear.

As you felt his fingers graze across your most sensitive parts, you gasped with pleasure, and Haechan smiled

“you’re hands please, i just need something inside of me” you begged.

Haechan smirked as he continued to tease you over your underwear. “then we have to get rid of these”

He slowly removed them before stuffing them into his nightstand.

You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as Haechan's fingers continued to tease you over your underwear. Your body throbbed with need, and you couldn't help but beg for more. The anticipation was driving you wild, and you craved the touch of his hands inside of you.

"Please, Haechan," you whimpered, your voice laced with desperation. "I need you inside me."

Haechan's smirk widened, his eyes darkening with desire. He knew exactly what he was doing to you, reveling in every moment of your vulnerability. Without a word, he slowly removed your underwear and discarded it into the nightstand.

The cool air caressed your exposed flesh, making you shudder in anticipation. Haechan positioned himself between your thighs, his gaze intense and hungry. You could feel the heat radiating off his body as he hovered over you, his breath mingling with yours.

His lips crashed onto yours once again, this time with an even fiercer hunger. The kiss was bruising, and passionate, as if he wanted to consume every ounce of your being. His hands roamed your body, leaving a trail of fire in their wake. Every touch sent electric shocks through you, heightening your desire.

But Haechan was not one to rush. He knew the power of anticipation. His fingers danced along the curves of your thighs. You squirmed beneath his touch, unable to suppress the moans that escaped your lips.

"Patience," he murmured against your skin, his voice laced with a raw sensuality that made your heart race. "I want to savor every moment."

His words only fueled the fire within you, igniting a primal need that consumed your thoughts. You could no longer wait, your body aching and yearning for release. With desperate boldness, you reached for him and pulled him closer. Haechan's eyes gleamed with a mixture of surprise and desire as you guided his hand to where you needed him most.

Without hesitation, his fingers slipped between your slick folds, finding your throbbing core. His touch was electrifying, sending waves of ecstasy through your body. You arched your back, giving him better access as he explored every inch of you, driving you to the edge.

As his fingers moved in delicious circles, your moans filled the room, mingling with the sound of his breathless whispers in your ear. It was as if time had stopped, leaving only the two of you.

Haechan's lips found yours once again, muffling the cry that escaped from deep within you as he brushed against your most sensitive spot. Your body shook with pleasure.

Every stroke sent shockwaves coursing through your body, building the pleasure to an unbearable peak. Your hips instinctively rose to meet his ministrations, wanting to feel even closer to him. The room seemed to spin as you felt your orgasm start to wash over you.

Haechan's fingers quickened their pace, pushing you further. With a sudden burst of overwhelming pleasure, your climax finally crashed over you. Your body shuddered beneath Haechan's touch as waves of intense bliss radiated from your core. It was an explosion of ecstasy that left.

As you finally started to get all your senses back you quickly reached out to Haechan. "Let me make you feel good too"

Haechan's cheeks flushed with embarrassment as he chuckled nervously, avoiding your gaze. "I-I get pleasure just from giving you pleasure," he stuttered.

The corners of your lips turned up in a sly smile as you teasingly asked, "Did you cum in your pants?"

In response, Haechan groaned and buried his face on your neck. "You just sounded so beautiful, I couldn't resist," he admitted shamefully.

You couldn't help but feel a mix of desire and amusement at his confession. Pulling away from him, you leaned into captured his lips with yours. "That's incredibly hot," you muttered against his mouth before breaking into a giggle.

"Alright," you said with a mischievous glint in your eye, "let's get cleaned up...and maybe we can find a way to get out of those pants too."

In the morning, you felt the warmth of hands around your body. With a content smile, you turned around to find Haechan already awake, looking at you. "Good morning, beautiful."

"How long have you been awake?" you inquired.

"Not too long, I didn't want to wake you up" he replied.

Leaning in to plant a morning kiss on Haechan's lips, you were halted midway. "I messed up," he confessed.

Shocked, you asked, "What do you mean?"

"I slept with my only friend," he admitted.

A chuckle escaped you. "Well, if you play your cards right, you might end up with a girlfriend instead."

He chuckled at your response, pulling you in for another kiss

As the soft morning light streamed through the curtains, the intimacy between you and Haechan deepened. The laughter from the lighthearted exchange lingered as he pressed his lips against yours.

Breaking the kiss, Haechan looked into your eyes with a mix of affection and sincerity. "I'm serious, though. I don't want this to change things between us."

You traced your fingers gently along his cheek, reassuringly. "Haechan, it doesn't change anything. We both have our pasts, and what matters is what we have now."

A grateful smile played on his lips as he held you close, appreciating the comfort of the moment. "You're amazing, you know that?"

The tenderness in his words made your heart flutter. "You're not too bad yourself," you teased, your fingers intertwining with his.

Your mother has noticed a change in your demeanor, catching glimpses of smiles and laughter while you were on your phone. Initially, you tried to dismiss it, claiming it was just conversations with friends, but the façade crumbled when your mother overheard you on a Facetime call, and she didn't recognize the voice. Peeking into your room she also didn’t notice the face on the screen.

Now, you found yourself anxiously anticipating how your parents would react to meeting Haechan for the first time. Your mother insisted on the introduction, pointing out that you had never appeared as happy with your previous partners. Which you had to give it to her, it was true. 

While you were confident your mother would adore Haechan, your concern was with your father. He was often distant, engrossed in his role as the owner of a major technology company. His strict views on your relationships were rooted in a desire to maintain a family business, yet he doubted your ability to contribute to it.

Hoping your father would be too occupied to attend dinner wasn't far-fetched, he frequently skipped family gatherings. However, your mother's pleas for him to take a rare evening off for his "precious" daughter won him over.

When you first brought it up with Haechan he was terrified. Always saying he was too busy to meet them.

But you finally caught him. He was complaining that he hasn't seen you in some time and that he misses you. So you asked if he was free later. Implying something sexual so he would change his plans if he needed to. When he took the bait and said he would be free all weekend, you told him to get ready to meet your parents. 

As the doorbell rang, you rushed to answer it before anyone else could. "You look so handsome," you cooed, admiring Haechan in a suit that, while not perfectly fitted, he still made it look good.

Haechan, in turn, was taken aback by your appearance. Clad in a baby pink puffy spring dress with pearl accessories, you radiated elegance. The elaborate outfit was your response to your father's decision to turn a family dinner into a business-oriented event.

Warned in advance, Haechan contemplated rescheduling, but your disappointment look and tears swayed him. 

"I can't do this," he admitted.

"Yes, you can. It's okay," you reassured him, leading him toward the dining room.

As the evening unfolded, Haechan appeared more nervous than usual. Sensing his discomfort, you offered solace by whispering in his ear, "We can go to my room after we finish dinner." This seemed to ease his tension, evident in the subtle relaxation of his shoulders.

Upon entering the dining room, you wore a big smile, catching your mother's approving gaze. "Ah, this must be Haechan! I've heard great things about you," she greeted warmly.

"I've heard a lot about you too, Ms. [Last Name]," Haechan replied.

The initial interactions went smoothly. Haechan answered a few questions from your mother, and the room dissolved into various conversations. However, your father remained engrossed in discussions with his employees, seemingly oblivious to Haechan's presence.

Sensing Haechan's ongoing nervousness, you discreetly held his hand under the table. "You're doing amazing, we can sneak out soon."

As if on cue, your father redirected his attention to Haechan, acknowledging his presence. "How rude of me! I haven't even spoken to my daughter's new boyfriend," he announced. "So, what is it your parents do for a living?"

Haechan hesitated before revealing, "Well, they don't do much anymore. I work at a convenience store to pay for my apartment."

Your father raised an eyebrow. "Already working for yourself, impressive. Do you do anything else in your free time?"

Releasing the breath of air you were holding in, you smile. This was a small victory, your father rarely asked the guys you brought over questions. Not even caring for your friends. Remembering the time Jeno once threw up in your bathroom from how your father kept ignoring him. 

"My father taught me how to code when I was younger," Haechan disclosed.

"That's impressive," your father acknowledged, swirling his wine before taking a sip. "What's your surname? You look familiar."

Haechan gulped before confessing, "Lee."

A collective widening of eyes among your father's employees followed, and your father smirked. "I knew you looked familiar, Lee Donghyuck."

Confusion furrowed your eyebrows. You expected Haechan to correct your father, but instead, he flinched and looked at you.

"I'm guessing you lied to my daughter?" your father quipped. "What was the name you came up with again? Haechan."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and to salvage any remaining dignity, you stood up and hurriedly left the room.

Your mother exchanged a glance with Haechan before whispering something to him. He excused himself from the table and followed you.

You slammed the door shut, intending to cry alone. However, Haechan entered the room moments later.

"Please let me explain first," Haechan begged, attempting to pull you in an embrace, but you resisted.

"What is there to explain? Have you been lying to me this whole time?"

"No, God, no! Yes, my name is Donghyuck.. Haechan is just a nickname," he clarified. "My dad worked at your father's company, coding for years until he was fired. They wanted someone younger."

He gently held your face in his hands, "At first, I hated you. But when I saw you tearing up and running to the  janitor's closet, it made my heart hurt, so I had to follow you."

"I told you my name was Haechan because that's what I go by in school. I wouldn't have gotten the scholarship if they knew who I was related to. Your father basically runs this town! I had to!"

"I swear I was going to tell you, but then I started developing feelings for you. I couldn't risk it! This is the best thing to ever happen to me, you're the best thing to ever happen to me!"

As you stood there, emotions swirling within you, you listened to Haechan's explanation. His vulnerability and genuine regret were evident in every word.

A mixture of anger, confusion, and empathy danced on the surface of your emotions. "Haechan, why didn't you trust me enough to tell me the truth?" you asked, your voice a blend of hurt and frustration.

his eyes pleading for understanding. "I wanted to, but the fear of losing you, or jeopardizing everything we had, it paralyzed me. I never meant to lie to you. I just didn't know how to tell you."

You took a deep breath, attempting to collect your thoughts. The truth was a bitter pill to swallow, but his honesty and the vulnerability in his eyes struck a chord. "You should have trusted me, Haechan. Relationships are built on trust, not on secrets and lies."

He nodded, remorse written across his features. "I know, and I'm so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, and I understand if you can't forgive me."

The room fell silent for a moment, the weight of everything hanging in the air. You finally spoke, "I need time to process this. It's not just about the lie but the fact that you felt you had to hide something from me. Trust is something we'll need to work on."

Haechan nodded, his eyes reflecting a mix of regret and determination. "I'll do whatever it takes to make things right, even if it takes time.”

“I love you, and I'll always be honest with you from now on," he promised, enfolding you in a tight embrace.

Your body resisted at first, still in shock of everything that just happened, but you eventually gave in, wrapping your arms around him. The familiar scent of his cologne and the warmth of his embrace made you realize how much you loved him despite the lies. 

You looked him in his eyes, studying his face before slowly letting your body finally connect your lips to his. 

Haechan’s kiss was soft and gentle at first, but it quickly grew in intensity as the passion between the two of you grew. You felt his hands on your waist as he pulled you closer, deepening the kiss.

Despite the initial shock and hurt, you found yourself unable to resist Haechan’s touch, his lips, the way he made you feel. You knew trust would take time to build, but right now, you couldn't resist the heat between the two of you.

Haechan’s hands moved up to your hair, tangling in the strands as he deepened the kiss even further. “Donghyuck” You moaned softly, unable to control the pleasure that coursed through you.

“I love the way you moan my name” he growled

As the kiss came to an end, you were both left breathless, panting from the intensity of the moment. You looked up into Donghyuck’s eyes, seeing the love and desire there, and you couldn't help but smile. “I love you so much” he whispered

"I love you too,"

Your eyes met his and your lips curved into a smile. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked

"For loving me enough to tell me the truth," you responded.

“I will never hurt you again”

You stared silently, soaking in his presence, and a moment later, a small smile stretched across your lips. Donghyuck pulled you in for another heated kiss causing you to let out a small moan before pulling away slightly. 

“You promise?” voice still shaky from the kiss.

Donghyuck grinned, his hands moved to your waist. There was a brief moment of discomfort as he lifted you onto your bed, but your objection was quickly silenced once you regained your balance.

You couldn't help but giggle at the boyish grin on Donghyck’s face as he looked at you from between your legs.

“I promise” he spoke as his hands traced the edges of your panties underneath your dress, teasing you and leaving you desperate for more.

A mischievous grin spread across Donghyuck’s face as he slowly began to slide your panties down, revealing more and more of your skin. You bit your lip, enjoying the sensation as he removed the final bit of fabric.

Donghyuck’s hands quickly moved to hook your legs around his waist, and you felt his fingers move towards your wet core. He teased you for a few minutes before moving his fingers up your slit, one finger brushing against your clit.

You moaned softly, biting your lip as you tried to keep yourself from making too much noise. You couldn’t help yourself though, the sensation overwhelming you as he began to circle your clit.

The sensation was so intense you couldn’t help but squirm beneath Donghyuck, his lips leaving a trail of kisses up your clothed stomach. His fingers slowed and he looked up at you. “Shh…” he whispered, lowering his head to your chest, kissing your exposed skin as you tried to regain control of yourself.

For a few moments you could barely breathe, light kisses upon your skin driving you wild. You could feel his cock pressed against your leg, and could tell it was straining against his pants. 

“You are so gorgeous,” Donghyuck spoke softly as he moved up your body. His lips pressed against yours, his fingers teasing your clit as he moved his hand away.

Your lips were breathing heavily against his, your hips bucked as you felt him tease your clit again. You began to breathe hard, hot breaths gusting between your lips and his. "I love you” he repeated as his lips moved to your neck. He bit your neck, his lips sucking just hard enough to leave a mark.

You moaned softly as you moved your hands to his pants, fumbling with the button before pulling them and his underwear down so he could step out of them.

You felt his cock pressed against your skin, and you couldn’t help but reach out for it. You could feel his shaft pulsating against your hand as you stroked it.

Donghyuck let out a small grunt, his hips bucking into your hand as you teased the head of his cock. “goddamn” he moaned as you pulled him closer.

“I want you inside me. You could feel his shaft twitch in your hand as you said the words, your fingers tightening around the shaft as you moved to stand in front of him.

You pulled your dress over your head, tossing it to the floor as you reached behind your back to unclasp your bra. The garment fell to the ground, your breasts exposed to Donghyuck’s hungry gaze.

Donghyuck reached up, taking your breasts in his hands. He gently laid you back on the bed, his hands moving from your breasts to your hips. 

You waited with heavy breaths as he finished stripping down, your eyes eagerly scanning his chest and abdomen. Reaching for his cock again eager for him to be inside you. 

Donghyuck quickly shifted his hips, slowly sliding his cock inside you. You let out a soft moan as he slowly filled you up. He began thrusting slowly, his thrusts growing stronger and deeper.

He moaned loudly as he thrusts inside you, letting you slowly push against him. His thrusts were desperate.

As he felt his climax coming he reached down to grab your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. The connection between you intensified, your bodies moving in perfect sync. It was a dance of pleasure and desire, each movement bringing you closer to that sweet release.

As his thrusts became more urgent, his hips snapped against yours with a hunger that matched your own. The room filled with your moans and the rhythmic sound of skin slapping together. Time seemed to blur as the world around you vanished.

Your nails dug into his back, leaving red trails as he drove deeper into you. Waves of pleasure crashed over you, dragging you deeper into the abyss of ecstasy.

Donghyuck's breath grew ragged against your ear as he moved faster, chasing his climax with fervor. His grip on your hand tightened, his body trembling with anticipation.

You arched your back as you felt yourself approach climax, your hands gripping the sheets as you sought more friction. Donghyuck’s pace quickened, his cock sliding in and out of you as you felt your orgasm approach.

Your body tensed as you came closer and closer. You cried out, moaning his name as he kissed you. “Donghyuck!”

Donghyuck’s thrusts grew more and more erratic. He began to let out a series of moans as he continued to thrust. He groaned loudly, your walls tightening around his cock as he continued to thrust. You could feel his cock twitch as he came, his cum filling you up.

Donghyuck’s cock slid out of you as the two of you came down from your orgasm. You curled up against him, his arms wrapping around you as you kissed him. 

“I love you too.” you whispered, kissing his lips softly. You rested your head against his chest, and for the first time in a long time, you fell asleep without any worries.

The morning sun peeked through the curtains, casting a warm glow across the room. Donghyuck stirred, his eyes slowly fluttering open. He blinked sleepily and focused on the beautiful sight in front of him--your peaceful face, bathed in gentle morning light.

As he realized your arm was still snugly wrapped around him, a soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. The night before had been filled with whispers, laughter, and tender kisses shared between you both. And in this quiet moment, as the world outside continued to awaken, Donghyuck felt an overwhelming sense of contentment.

Leaning in closer, he pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead. His touch was feather-light, melting away any lingering traces of sleep from your mind. You stirred slightly, a drowsy smile playing on your lips as you looked up at him.

"Mmm, good morning," you murmured, your voice filled with warmth and affection.

"Good morning," Donghyuck replied, his voice low and husky.

His fingers gently traced the contours of your face, his touch so tender it sent shivers down your spine. As you peered into his eyes, you could see the love that radiated from within him. It was in those moments when the world was still and quiet, that you truly understood the depth of his affections. Donghyuck was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but in these stolen moments, he bared his soul to you.

taglist: @yesohhsehun @numberonekeehostan @rjreins @yutaswh0re @haechansbbg @fullsunahceah @sundamariis @sinsgaybutthatsokay @nae-vm @hcheach @snflwrhaerecs4u @jenodreamer @mystverse @lhcread @onlyoursol-ace @enchantingtreedrea @jaeimjaemin @justforme211 @jakejaehyun @nk-3554 @hyunniesvlog @bbyjayb @nodisdino @qwonii-111 @pwarkkjisung @wettestpoussy @bomi-ja

(srry if i forgot you or if it didnt tag you)

[ang3l0fthursday]

“Jessie’s Girl”

matt sturniolo x reader

author note: inspired by the song Jessie’s Girl by rick springfield

summary: matt has a thing for his friend jessie’s girlfriend, and jessie treats her like shit so he tried his best to show her she truly deserves better

warnings: angst | y/ns bf is a cheating asshole | use of y/n😣 | cheating (jessie not y/n| smut (i couldn’t help myself | oral fem!recieving | grinding | p in v | riding | i think that’s it 🤞| sub!matt (kinda) |

word count: about 4k

matt’s pov.

i watched as they danced in the moonlight together in the parking lot we decided to hang out in, i sat on the curb watching them. he twirled her with a bland expression on his face. the rest of our friends were lost in their own conversation, something about internet drama is all i could assume they were talking about from what i had eavesdropped. it was so hard to try and be active in the conversation when she looks so happy with him. him of all people. he twirled and twirled her and she fluttered around him so gracefully.

she was truly the most beautiful girl i’d ever seen. she was flawless in every way. no matter what she seemed to do i couldn’t help but be infatuated with her.

i knew it was wrong, to look at someone else’s girlfriend like that, but he treated her so terribly. he would lie to her and ignore her, and what from i could tell she didn’t notice how badly he treated her. she didn’t realize how she deserved so much better. she deserved the moon and the stars. but she didn’t realize that.

i wanted to make her realize it. i wanted to tell her how badly i wanted to kiss the ground she walked on. how badly i wanted to show her she truly deserved to be loved. not held down like she was with Jessie.

“matt?”

i was broken out of my trance by her soft, beautiful voice.

“are you okay matt?” she bent down to meet my gaze, i looked up to see jessie walking off to the convenience store far off in the distance.

“yeah im sorry jus’ thinking”

she quickly glanced at the ground and giggled as she picked up a penny next to my foot. she sat down next to me on the curb

“penny for your thoughts?” she asked letting out a light giggle

god her laugh was so pretty

i took the penny from her before smiling and just changing the subject.

i kept that penny on my bedside table.

—————

it was some random thursday night, i was with nate, chris, a few other guys, and jessie.

(not excluding nick!! i love nick!! he just wouldn’t hang out with something like jessie)

we were all kind of doing our own thing at this point, everybody was either watching the movie or on their phones.

jessie being one of the people on their phone.

he kept huffing and laughing every once in a while, which caught both mine and chris’s attention.

“you texting your little girlfriend over there?” chris spoke in jessie’s direction, breaking the silence in the room.

“nah i’m texting this chick i met last night at a party”

what the fuck?

“wait what?” i made eye contact with chris, and i could tell nate was uncomfortable with it from the way he tensed.

“yeah dude she’s so hot you wouldn’t believe it, i’m trying link with her”jessie spoke with confidence.

are you fucking kidding me?

“so you’re cheating on y/n?” i asked, trying to regulate my tone

“yeah what about it?”

i suddenly felt a wave of anxiety crash through me and my heart dropped.

“uhm- nothing”

why couldn’t i stand up for her? why couldn’t i tell him he was being an asshole?

thinking back on it, i think i didn’t want to be a problem.

—-

Me, Chris, Nick, Nate, Jessie, and Y/n were all in our hot tub,

she looked so beautiful, the sun had long set and the moonlight bounced off of her pretty hair, she was wearing a blue bikini, it was my favorite color and she just happened to look so beautiful in blue. even though i couldn’t see much due to the rippling water, i tried my best not to let me eyes wonder down her beautiful body.

her and jessie were having their own conversation while i ‘listened’ to nick, chris, and nate’s conversation.

i kept peering over at Jessie and y/n, their conversation seems civil for a while, her letting out giggles and he let out the occasional bored huff.

but, his face slowly fell into a more angry look, hers a sad one.

nate, chris, and nick had wondered into the house for ,what i think they said, a drink.

i tried to keep my gaze away from them but his voice started getting louder, and before i knew it he was full on yelling at her

“no! no you’re fucking crazy! i can’t deal with your bullshit! you’re overreacting! i can’t ever fucking understand why you come at me with bullshit like this! we’re done i’m fuckin done!” he shouted mere inches from her face before getting up abruptly and storming out of the backyard, not a minute later i heard his car start and pull away.

he had broken up with her three times now, i wanted to say something but i felt glued to my seat, before i heard a hiccup come from her

oh no.

“oh matt im so sorry” her knees came up to her chest and a hand made its way to her mouth

“why are you apologizing to me? you didn’t do anything.” i immediately made my way over to her side

“did you hear him? clearly i did”

“no he’s dumb. can i ask what you said for him to do that? and im not saying it’s your fault i just wanna know what triggered him, but you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want” i rambled out, it’s like i couldn’t stop my words from pouring out to her

“uhm- *hiccup* he brought up something about last week last week and i remembered last friday, uhm he told me he was with you guys. but then nick posted your guy’s friday video and in the video you said that you had filmed the same day you were posting- so there was no way he was with you at all right? was he?”

“no y/n im so sorry he wasn’t. me nick and chris only left the house that day to record. i’m so sorry” i felt like my heart was crumbling and fading away. i couldn’t stand to see her so heartbroken

“oh no matt don’t apologize i should’ve asked you instead of him- god i’m so sorry i didn’t mean to start anything” her waterline suddenly filled and the sight broke me.

she was a much too beautiful person, inside and out, to be crying, especially over such an asshole.

“y/n, i’m gonna tell you something and please don’t get mad at me for not telling you sooner- i promise you i was going to tell you i just haven’t gotten a moment alone with you” i shuddered at the thought of hurting her anymore. but she deserved the truth.

“okay.. what is it matty?”

god that nickname.

“so, couple of weeks ago, we were having that boys night right? and… he kept laughing at his phone and chris asked if he was texting you. but he said no.. and said he was talking to some girl he had met at a party and-“ i stuttered, my hands started to shake under the water, i had suddenly felt so nervous under her gaze, why did i have to be the one to tell her? why do i have to break her heart anymore?

she noticed from the way the water rippled above my hands, she rested her own on top of my shaky ones, moving her thumb in slow circles.

“it’s okay matt. i trust you okay?”

i nodded before starting again, “he said that he was trying to sleep with her.”

she suddenly froze, not that i blame her. the circles she had been making on my hands had ceased, and her face remained the same. but from the way her eyes were i could tell something had clicked inside of her.

“y/n im so sorry you had to find out from me- im so sorry”

“uhm no matt it’s okay.” she let out in the most monotonous voice id ever heard come out of her. she was always so full of life and in this moment i couldn’t help but want to cry for her.

she didn’t deserve to feel any kind of pain. ever. and to know i was the one initiating part of her pain? god i wanted to take it all back. but she deserved to know. it was only right that she knew.

“no im so sorry, you don’t deserve any of that at all”

“matt you don’t have to lie it’s okay” she let out a light scoff

“lie? what do you mean?” why would she accuse me of lying?

she seemed genuinely confused by my question

“saying i deserve better- jessie made it clear that-“

“i don’t give a fuck what jessie told you- you deserve so much better than what he ever showed you. you’re such a beautiful person. you deserve to be loved by someone who truly cares for you and truly loves you, and i know that it sucks, but you won’t find that in jessie. you truly are an amazing person y/n and you deserve the very best”

i had kind of zoned out with my ramble, but i focused back in to meet her powerful gaze, her waterline had suddenly filled with tears again

“oh y/n- im sorry i didn’t mean to overstep”

her arms suddenly wrapped around me, hugging me, half her body on top of mine.

she had pulled away slight to meet my eyes, “you mean it?”

“every word.” god i wish she knew the power she held over me. i wanted her to ruin me-

not the time.

“matt you’re the sweetest- most genuine person i’ve ever met”

she wrapped her self back around me, her head going into my neck.

“y/n i’m always here for you- no matter what okay? text, call, in person, anything okay?”

“okay matt, i’m gonna have to unblock you jessie made me a whole ago” she giggled

“i was wondering why my happy birthday to you didn’t go through” i let out a light laugh. it stung that she has done that but who am i to say anything?

—————

me nick and chris, and im pretty sure nate, had hardly talked to jessie after everything had went town. Chris told me he and nick saw jessie storm out that night and saw me go over to y/n and decided to stay out of it.

it had been weeks since i last saw her in person. We had texted quite regularly but she was struggling to get out of the house, which i understood, and i had wanted to ask if i could come over or something like that but i didn’t want to overstep.

it was 3:42 in the morning, i was mindlessly scrolling on my phone, nick had fallen asleep and i think chris was playing fortnite.

everything had been quiet until my phone started to ring.

y/n.

i immediately picked up

“hey what’s up?”

i heard shuffling before it went silent, and then i heard sniffling.

“hey matt- uhm so you remember when you said i could come to you? for like anything?”

“yeah i do why? what happened?” i sat up in my bed, my blanket falling off of me.

“uhm so - im outside of jessie’s apartment, i just came to grab some of my things and i ubered so i dont have my car and- my phones at 2 percent and i dont wanna risk anything and i was wondering if you could maybe come pick me up? if not it’s okay i can try and-“

“ill get there as fast as i can” i hung up the phone and quickly grabbed some slip on shoes and ran down stairs, making my way out the door and into my car.

jessie’s apartment building wasn’t too far from my, nick, and chris’s house so i got there within five minutes.

i parked on the side of the road and immediately got out of the car and ran to her, she was sitting on the from steps of the building, she stood and i wrapped my arms around her.

she had been crying and seemingly got louder when i had hugged her.

“matt im so sorry”

“don’t be” i pulled away and lifted my hand to slip her hair behind her ear

“let’s get you home pretty girl”

“uhm matt? i’m sorry to ask for more- but do you think i could stay at yours tonight?”

“of course, come on” i led her to my car, hand in hand.

-

once we made it home i gave her some more comfortable clothes to change into, a pair of my sweats and a t-shirt.

we had made our way to my bed, i put on a movie of her choice , she chose ‘10 things i hate about you’

i had seen it before and my heart couldn’t help but swell at her choice because when she made the choice she had said, “since i know you also like this movie”

she knew the things that i liked.

could she get any more perfect?

i glanced over at her, just to check on her, only to meet her eyes.

“oh- i’m sorry” she stuttered out- moving her gaze back to the tv

“i’m gonna start tickling you every time you apologize” my hand krept its way towards her

“wait! no!” she practically screamed before quieting down remembering how late it was

i made contact with her ribs and started jabbing and tickling her .

“matt!” she whisper yelled and giggled and twisted around.

she had shot up at this point, grabbing my hands and tried to get me back, only to fall into me.

my cheeks flushed at the new position we were in, my arms were pinned to the sides of my head, her body had landed on mine and she was now straddling me

she giggled before letting go of my arms and sitting up.

“what you give up?”

god it was a beautiful sight to see her being confident.

in that moment everything in my head crumbled away, and i acted simply on impulse.

my hands moved to her lower back and pulled her down into me. as she fell towards me i quickly slipped one hand to her face and guided it towards my own.

once her lips made contact with mine, i heard her let out a light gasp

she pulled away, a few inches away from my face

“matt?”

my actions had suddenly come crashing down onto me- i panicked and realize what i had done

“oh my god i’m so sorry- i should have asked- i’m so sorry” before i could ramble any further her lips came crashing down again.

oh my god.

her lips moved in a soft rhythm and i couldn’t help but let out a low whimper.

god the power she held over me.

her hands nestled upon my face and she pushed further into me.

holy fuck is this real?

i could feel my dick harden at the thoughts that flooded through my mind. god please don’t be the wrong time.

“matt? are you..?” she glanced down quickly before meeting my eyes again

“yeah.. fuck i’m sorry if it’s not the right time”

she simply smirked before crashing back down into me, when she came down her body shifted in a way that she moved acrossed my length.

my breath hitched against her soft lips, i felt her smile into the kiss before her hips moved back and forth against mine

her movements sent a sort of shockwave throughout my lower stomach.

she pulled away to breath,“do you wanna keep going?” she smiled down at me

“oh god please”

she giggled before halting anything she was thinking , “are you gonna want to switch?”

“like positions?”

she nodded

“can i be honest?”

“of course matty, you know that”

“i have never wanted anybody to ever be on top of me more than i do in this moment”

this time her cheeks flushed.

“unless you wanna switch- because if you do we can and i don’t have a problem with it”

“no- probably a bad time to speak about him but jessie never let me- no matter how badly i wanted to” she smirked down at me before getting up and standing next to the bed.

she took off her shirt and pants before getting back on the bed

“can i try something first?”

“ofcourse matty i trust you”

i stood up, removing my shirt as i did so

“sit up at the headboard baby” i directed her before going to the end of the bed, meeting her halfway.

i scooted up forward towards her. i looked at her eyes to search for any signs she was uncomfortable, i put a hand on each of her knees before slowly spreading her legs apart

i looked to see her eyes had widened in a sort of shocked look

“matt- are you sure?”

“of course i’m sure. you deserve to feel perfect.”

i kissed a trail acrossed her thighs, stopping to kiss freckle next to her belly button

“you deserve nothing less”

i kissed across her tummy, and across her panties, and anywhere i felt necessary.

“you deserve the world”

i kissed her clothed cord, hearing her let out a stuttered breath.

i looked up one last time, just in case, and slipped my finger under her waistband, dragging her panties down her legs and tossing them next to the rest of her clothes

“you wanna take your bra off mama?”

i asked, looking into her eyes before realizing what i had said

“too much?” i had asked out of insecurity

“god no it’s perfect” she grabbed my face and brought me into a kiss, arching her back slightly. i took this as a sign to slip my hands underneath her and fumbled her bra clasp to get it undone. after i successfully undid it, i sat up slightly to pull her bra off of her.

oh my god.

she had the prettiest pair of tits i’d ever seen.

“you’re so beautiful y/n you don’t even realize. you deserve everything and more”

“you’re gonna make me cry matty”

i kissed down to her core

“i can’t stand to see you cry, i felt heartbroken seeing you like that”

i littered a few more kisses acrossed her thighs before licking a stripe through her folds.

she let out a quiet moan as i flicked through her folds

god she was like the embodiment of heaven itself.

i kissed her clit before circling it with my tongue

“oh shit matty…” her breathing started to pick up and i twirled my toungue around her puffy clit

i wrapped my arms about her thighs to have my hands rest on her soft tummy

i had one hand snake down to her clit, making figure eights while my tongue made its way into her entrance

“holy shit matt- god just like that” she had started to grind her hips against my face, hard and slow.

i peered up at her through my lashes, meeting her piercing her gaze.

god was she beautiful. her jack has slightly opened her eyebrows knitted.

but her eyes never left mine, they were open and i wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way.

everything was beginning to be too much, i need some form of release for myself

i slowly start to grind down my own hips,

unintentionally in the same rythym as her.

my fingers fumbled with her clit in the same figure eight pattern i had started with and my toungue made its way through her folds, making its way in and out of her velvet entrance.

from the way i was grinding down my hips i let a whimper slip out.

from the way she moaned louder, im assuming it wasn’t a problem for her.

i decided not to hold back on my own noises because god i was so sensitive.

i shamefully let out whimpers and moans, speeding up my hips unintentionally. my main focus was still on her pleasure

“oh my god matt- fuck fuck fuck i’m so close!”

i let off slightly, keeping my pace on her clit

“cum for me mama make a mess on my face”

“shit shit shit!”

her hips ground doesn faster as i went back to licking through her folds.

i could feel her walls clenching and before i knew it, i was covered in her arousal.

holy fuck. i never thought i would truly experience her.

as she was coming down i kept moving my own hips

“oh shit-“ from the sensitivity i had grown close to my peak.

“fuck fuck fuck!”

i scooted forward slightly to tuck my face into the soft skin of her tummy, my hands fumbled forward, reaching for anything and everything i could get my hands on. i felt her hands grip my own, one interlacing into mine, the other being dragged to her soft breast

“ohhh shit.!”

i quickly felt my peak wash over me, i couldn’t help but pant and whimper pathetically, it was all so rough and i was practically being held by the girl i’ve loved for so long.

as i calmed down and settled my breathing, i looked up to see her smiling down at me.

“my turn to do the work pretty boy”

i gulped and i could feel the heat from my cheeks flushing. i sat up, quickly removing my boxers and sweatpants, throwing the dirtied clothes into my laundry basket.

when i looked back to the bed she was off the the side of it slightly, smirking and waiting to me to get back.

i shuffled my way over, laying against the head board in the middle.

gazing towards her, she pecked my lips as she moved over into my lap.

god from how beautiful her body was, i had already gotten hard again.

she locked her lips onto mine again before grabbing my cock and moving it through her folds before slowly coming down my length

my jaw dropped and i shamefully moaned out

“f-fuck you’re so tight”

“you’re just big matty”

as she adjusted down onto me my eyes fluttered shut

my hands made their way to her hips as she slowly started moving. she sat up, almost completely pulling me out of her, before slamming back down and repeating her actions

“fuuu- holy shit”

i couldn’t even control myself at that point

loud whimpers and moans came out no matter how hard i tried to conceal them

“fuck mama you make me feel so good”

her hips kept going at a relentless pace up and down my length, my hips bucking up to meet her halfway every once in a while.

“i’m so sensitive- i’m already close” my eyes opened to see her face in pure ecstasy.

i can’t get over how pretty she is. how could jessie not see that?

“oh fuck matty- i’m getting close too it’s okay”

i could feel my orgasm building up, i needed more. my hands wrapped around her lower back and i quickly thrusted up into her.

“fuck matty i’m gonna cum”

“shit please”

her silk walls clenched down onto my cock.

“fuck cum with me matty”

my breathing picked up quickly- practically panting as i felt myself cum with her walls clenching down onto me.

she made a mess on my cock as we both came down from our highs together.

when her breathing calmed down she rested her head down ontop of mine

i leaned up go kiss her lips, trailing from her jaw down to the base of her neck.

“you’re so perfect y/n, and if you’ll let me i’ll try my best to prove that to you, every chance i get.”

“of course matty” she smiled that pretty smile at me

as she did so i felt a nervousness creeping over me.

oh the power she held.

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART SEVEN

previous chapters | welp. it's here. this one is a DOOZY, and i'm so sorry. i never expected it to get this long but oh well!!! go grab a snack and get settled cause this one is kinda wild. love u guys sm. i proofread this very quickly so i apologize if there's any mistakes!! and here's my kofi if you'd like to leave a tip 💕 chapter summary: the pressure is building in more ways than one. rating: 18+ explicit warnings: age difference (joel is in his 50s, reader is in her early 20s), innocent/inexperienced reader, praise kink, dirty talk, pet names, mentions of religion, catholic guilt, sexting, n00ds, oral (m receiving), lap-sitting, thigh riding, alcohol, lemme know if i missed any! word count: 15.6k ao3

You're beginning to learn that Joel runs hot and cold.

There have been moments with him, intimate and special and warm, moments that make you feel light on your feet and send butterflies wilding through your stomach. Moments where he's open and present and wants all his attention to be on you, on your body, your pleasure. His touch sets you alight, his words send tingles down your spine.

And then weekdays happen and you start second guessing yourself all over again.

On Sunday you'd attended church with your parents, another attempt at appeasing your mother in lieu of all the lies and deceit. You've only gone to a select few services since you came home, something you know they've been silently judging you for and just waiting to hold above your head. Admittedly you'd been afraid of bumping into people you knew, having to switch on your teenage persona of Good Catholic Girl™ and lie through your teeth about how good it feels to be back home again. Luckily in the few services you'd attended, you'd only run into some elderly family friends, managing to avoid anyone you went to high school with.

Your luck had to run out at some point, though. This service you'd been accosted by none other than Bethany, one of your childhood friends who you'd practically left in the dust when you'd gone away for college. Her friendship was always full of judgement, perfection, and not to mention heaps of Catholic guilt. She'd taken one look at you, appraising you up and down as if assessing you for imperfections, then pulled you into a tight hug.

"It's so good see you," she'd said when she'd pulled back, a wide - and borderline frightening - grin plastered on her face, "My momma told me you were back, thought I woulda heard from you by now!"

Your mother, standing beside you in your pew, had furrowed her brow at this, clearly confused. You hadn't understood her reaction completely until Bethany had headed off to go say hi to someone else.

"I thought you had lunch with her and Alice the other week," she'd murmured softly to you under her breath, giving you an accusatory look, "Said you'd be helping them out over the summer. That's what you told me, anyway."

Fuck.

"O-oh, right," you'd had no idea what else to say other than that, biting down on your lip and staring straight ahead as the service began. She hadn't said anything else about it, but you'd sat in discomfort and anxiety for the next hour.

In a panic, you'd found Bethany after the service and quickly asked if she needed any extra help at Sunday School, to which she'd responded with enthusiasm - a little too much - that they always needed extra hands on Thursdays to help with lesson planning. You'd jumped at the chance, telling her you'd be there.

That night you'd texted Joel. You hadn't heard from him all day despite it being a weekend, and part of you had been hoping you might go over and see him once your parents were asleep.

guess who's volunteering at church now? this idiot.

You'd expected words of comfort, maybe a joke, at least something that would make you feel better about the situation. However, his response to yours had been brief, short, simple:

Rough. Get some sleep x

This trend of short responses has only continued throughout the rest of the week. He's distant when you text him, responds with a few words at best, short and simple and almost like an entirely different person. It's hard to believe it's the same man who whispers good girl in your ear and tells you how well you're doing, how wet you are, how pretty you look. His texts are some ghostly version of him, constantly fading in and out, barely showing interest or desire - that is, if he texts you at all.

It makes your skin itch, sends your insecurities into a tailspin. Why does this always seem to happen? You can't make heads or tails of it - you know he's busy, know that his job takes a lot out of him, and yet you can't help but feel that there's something more he's not telling you. He'd told you on his back deck all about how he wasn't very happy at his job, how he'd prefer to be retired by now, living life on his own terms - so why can't he just do that? It's clearly taking a toll on him, and while part of you feels empathetic and yearns to comfort him, another part feels angry, irritated.

You'd gone to your friends with these concerns, hoping for some sort of answer or solution to the problem. Instead, they'd been more sympathetic to Joel's plight than yours.

you gotta remember you're not in a relationship with him babe

right!! men are v simple creatures. they see things black & white. ur his fuck buddy and he prob doesn't rly want it to go beyond that.

now THAT'S going too far. she's more than his fuck buddy definitely. he wouldn't have told her his whole life story last weekend if that were true.

telling her he had a fucked up childhood isn't necessarily his whole life story. most guys had shitty childhoods lbr

but he opened up!!!!! fuck buddies don't do that.

exactly

i wish you guys were here :(

i'm honestly 5 secs away from booking a flight to texas bestie. gotta use my dad's frequent flier miles somehow.

--

"My friend Tasha is coming to visit this weekend," you tell your mom on Wednesday evening with a smile, turning your phone toward her to show the Airbnb you'll be staying at, "We're gonna stay at this little bungalow, have a girls' weekend."

Her brow furrows, "Why can't Tasha stay here?"

Because Tasha would terrify you, you want to say, because Tasha doesn't wear pants unless absolutely necessary. Instead you just smile again and say, "I think a change of scenery would be good for me, it'll be like a mini vacation. Plus there's a hot tub."

"Now that's something we need," she turns back to her book with a shake of her head, "I swear, your father is more interested in buying that boat we'll never use instead of something new for the backyard." You hadn't been asking for her permission, but her indifference sends a wave of relief through you; you've still been trying to be on your absolute best behavior lately to make up for the lies.

You head out to the backyard and seat yourself in a lounge chair by the pool, unlocking your phone again and swiping to your last conversation with Joel from last night.

hope you had a good day :)

I'm sure yours was better. Sleep well x

Curt and to the point, not at all what you'd wanted him to reply with. You recall one of your first phone conversations, the one where you'd been experiencing the same lack of interest in his texts, what he'd said to you: Don't think for one second that I don't think about you. But how can you not? How are you supposed to feel desired when he's being like this?

can you call me tonight?

You try not to wait too long before biting the bullet, not wanting to talk yourself out of it, but you do stare at the message with your finger hovering over the send button for longer than you really need to. The sound of the back door sliding open forces you to send it, locking your phone again as your mother walks over and seats herself beside you in another chair.

"It's nice to see you wearing that again," she says with a nod to your chest, referring to your crucifix - after wearing it again last weekend you'd thought that keeping it on might please her. "You're starting to really settle in here again, aren't you?"

You try not to grimace, "Yeah, it's nice being home."

She leans back in her chair, letting the suns rays hit her for a little bit without speaking. You sit there waiting for her to say something else, discomfort flooding through you. You're reminded of how easy it was to sit with Joel in his backyard last weekend, how little pressure there was to put up any kind of front - sitting here with your mother is the exact opposite.

"So, you lied to me," she finally says, voice quiet.

Your eyes widen and you sit up a bit, turning to her with panic already rising in your throat, "Wh-what do you mean?"

She doesn't turn to look at you, continuing to stare at the sky, eyes covered by her comically large sunglasses, "You know what I mean."

You sit there, staring at her with a mix of confusion and fear. There's no way she knows about Joel, how could she know? Who would have told her? You wonder if perhaps one of her neighborhood friends saw you leaving his house, saw you in his car... but the guise of lessons is your cover now, so how would any of that point to your relationship?

Some relationship, you can't help but think to yourself, based entirely on sex and only communication on the weekends.

"Bethany and Alice," your mom finally states, and you feel the panic in the pit of your stomach loosen immediately - oh.

"Mom," you say immediately, shaking your head, "I-I know. I'm sorry. I know I told you we met up but..." you bite your lip, trying to come up with some kind of excuse but coming up empty.

Instead, you do something that surprises you entirely - you tell the truth. Or at least... half of it.

"I really feel like my friendship with them has passed," you admit with a frown, "I'm... I'm different than I was when I left, you know that, don't you? I'm sure you've noticed."

She's still not looking at you but you catch her nodding slowly, thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry I lied but... I didn't want to disappoint you. And I didn't want you to worry about me being alone all the time. I'm actually rarely ever alone at college so it's been nice to have some time to myself," you smile, thinking of the girls in your group chat constantly waiting for new updates, "Having lunch with two people I haven't talked to in years just... didn't seem appealing to me. I have different friends now, you know? I'm older, people outgrow each other."

"Friends like Tasha," your mom states, bitterness in her voice, "Tasha who you don't even want me to meet."

You make a face, "Mom..."

She puts her hands up in defeat, shaking her head, "It's fine. You can do what you want and so can she," the words are drenched in judgement, "But you should remember that there are rules for staying here, young lady. And honesty is one of those rules."

You take a deep breath, swinging your legs around the edge of the chair and placing your arms on your knees, your face in your hands. You're so close to snapping back at her, making a comment that'll surely start an argument, but you shove it back down as best you can, counting to ten in your head.

"I'm sorry," you finally say through gritted teeth, "It won't happen again."

"It better not." She stands up then, disappears from the chair as quickly as she'd settled in it. You watch as she walks to the back door again, reaches for the handle.

Your mouth can't stop itself.

"Have you told Dad about my guitar lessons yet?"

She freezes, turns and stares at you for a moment without saying anything, then opens the door and heads back inside, slamming it behind her.

Checkmate.

--

I will when I get home.

Your anxiety is through the roof as you pace back and forth in your bedroom after darkness has fallen, freshly showered and pampered and already out of distractions. Without really thinking much about it, you pull Joel's flannel from under your mattress and wrap it around your shoulders, breathing him in as you sit on your bed and try your best not to keep checking your phone. When it finally vibrates you're not even embarrassed when you pick up on the first ring.

"Hey," you murmur, settling into your sheets and closing your eyes, "Is everything okay?"

"With me?" he asks, voice tired and gruff, "Thought it'd be the other way around."

Your brow furrows, "What do you mean?"

"Thought you'd wanna talk about this church volunteerin' stuff," he's moving around as he talks - you hear the sound of a cupboard banging and the clang of a glass against a countertop.

You don't speak for a moment, listening to the sound of liquid being poured into a cup and Joel taking a swig. There's no sound of the tap - you'd be willing to bet that it's not water he's drinking.

"No, I..." you frown, "I was worried about you."

You hear him take another sip, swallowing loudly and then placing the cup back down with a clink. More pouring. You swear you hear the faint sound of a chuckle before he takes another swig.

"Well that's silly," he states, and you suddenly notice there's a strange difference in his voice, a heaviness you're not used to.

"Are you drunk?"

He chuckles again but there's no humor in it, "Nowhere near as drunk as I'd like to be."

You frown, readjusting yourself against the pillows. You hear him take another sip, "Did something happen?"

He sighs then, deep and tired. You hear him put the glass back down on the counter, "No, babygirl, nothin' happened," hearing him say your pet name makes you feel a little better, the anxiety ebbing away a bit, "It's just that my job is the bane of my fuckin' existence."

He sounds genuinely exhausted, words tinged with resentment. You pull his flannel tighter around yourself, breathe him in, pretend you're in the same room as him, "Talk to me," you say softly, "Tell me what's wrong."

He doesn't reply for a moment - you can make out some footsteps on the other end, the creak of his stairs as he goes up to his bedroom, "No, darlin', it's nothin'. Shouldn't be talkin' about this with you."

"Hey, if something's bothering you, I wanna hear about it. I wanna make it better... if I can."

You hear him settle onto his bed, a satisfied little noise emanating from his throat that makes you smile, "That's the thing, babygirl. You can't. This is just the way life works. You do shit you hate and then you die, plain and simple."

"Joel," you admonish quietly - it's the first time you've said his name aloud since last weekend, it feels right on your lips, safe. He sighs but doesn't say anything else, breath evening out in your ear. "What is it? Really? I've been worrying about it all week."

"Oh honey," he murmurs softly. "Shouldn't be worryin' about me, there are more important things."

"Not to me," you admit, closing your eyes and shaking your head even though he can't see you, "First I thought maybe you were just busy, but-"

"Busy," he scoffs, "Right, yeah, busy. That's my middle name at this point. Fuckin' busy."

He really doesn't sound like himself - you know you still don't know him very well at this point, could be wrong about so many things, but part of you just knows that this isn't Joel. You know his softness, his safety, his kind eyes and crooked smile. This version of him sounds so sad; you can't help but wish you were in his bed right now, able to hold him close and run your fingers through his grey curls. You want him to open up to you.

"You don't wanna hear this shit, angel, you don't," he continues, voice gentler this time, "I know you're thinkin' somethin' is wrong, thinkin' somethin' in particular happened to make me feel like this, but the truth is..." he sighs again, deliberates for a moment and then simply states, "Truth is I'm just bein' stupid."

"You're not stupid," you say immediately, and he chuckles.

"God, you're so sweet, babygirl," he murmurs softly, "It's nice to hear your voice."

Your feel your skin heat up at the words, crossing your legs together unconsciously, "It's nice to hear yours too," you whisper with a smile, "I've missed you this week. Every time you've texted me it's felt like it's not really you."

"I'm sorry, baby," you can hear the sincerity in his voice buried underneath the tiredness and alcohol, "I'm just... I'm a mess." You hear him shuffle a bit in bed, like he's turning onto his side, "Work is always puttin' me in a shitty mood lately and I just...I don't want you to see this side of me."

"But why?"

Another sigh, then-

"'Cause I don't want you to look at me differently."

You bring the sleeve of his flannel to your lips, "I could never look at you differently, Joel," you whisper, "Promise."

He's quiet for a moment and you hope you haven't upset him, hope he's just thinking about what to say. You mean your words; it really would take a lot for you to look at him differently. You know you probably shouldn't feel that way considering you've known him less than a month, that the feeling should scare you... but it doesn't.

"I'm tired, angel," he finally says, voice sad and distant, "I'm too old to be doin' this job."

You wait for him to speak again, listening as he takes a shaky breath on the other end of the line, almost like he hasn't told anyone this. And maybe he hasn't.

"But it's hard to admit that to myself," he continues, "And even harder to admit it to you of all people. I don't want you to see some washed up, tired, old geezer, ya know?" he says it with humor but you can tell that he means it, "I mean I used to... god, I used to be able to do shifts like this no problem. Be up at five and home by midnight and able to do it all over again the next day. Now it's like I'm runnin' on a half empty tank of gas. Got no joy in this job anymore and my back is killin' me and-" he cuts himself off suddenly, "And I need to shut the fuck up before I scare you away."

"You're not gonna scare me away," you whisper, and you mean it, "I'm not going anywhere."

He laughs softly to himself; you're not sure if he believes you, but you're choosing to hope that he does, "Ya know, I didn't even wanna tell you my age when we were first together? I wasn't gonna tell you, I really wasn't. But then you were so sweet and vulnerable and honest with me-"

You scoff, "Yeah, lying about knowing how to play guitar, that's certainly honesty."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," he chastises - you can hear the sudden smile in his voice, "No, darlin'... when you told me you hadn't done anythin' before. That's when I knew I had to tell you, 'cause it wouldn't have been right otherwise," he makes an odd noise in his throat and then corrects, "Not that any of this is really right, but..."

"It feels right," you say softly, staring down at the plaid lines on the flannel shirt shrouding your body, reminding you of what it means - that you're his.

"It does," he agrees, voice rough and low, "Right and wrong in all the right ways, huh babygirl?"

You nod to yourself, unable to help the grin that spreads across your face, "Exactly."

The both of you are silent for a few moments but just like last weekend, it isn't uncomfortable or awkward. It's calming and safe, just listening to each other's breathing. You can tell he's tired, can hear it in his slow exhales; again, you can't help but wish you were lying beside him. And you can't help but wonder if a more sober Joel would have even said any of this to you, would have just kept it to himself and continued to deal with it in silence, not bothering to tell anyone how he's been feeling. It breaks your heart a little bit.

"It'll be okay," you whisper gently, soothingly, "It won't be like this forever, Joel."

He sighs, deep and sleepy, "You really are an angel," he murmurs, "So sweet and lovely, babygirl. Love hearin' you say my name like that."

His words send warmth throughout your body - no one has ever spoken to you the way Joel speaks to you, makes you feel the way he makes you feel. You close your eyes and bury your face in the sleeve of his flannel, listen as his breathing gets slow again.

"You should get some sleep," you whisper, even though you really don't want to end the call - but Joel is tired and you want him to feel better, "Text me tomorrow, okay? Even if you're grumpy."

He almost laughs but he's so close to sleep that it comes out slurred and low, "Okay, baby, I will. Promise."

"Goodnight, J-"

"Wait wait wait," he suddenly sounds a bit more alert, rousing himself from sleep, "You didn't tell me 'bout this church thing. You okay with it?"

You giggle at his sudden concern, "It's nothing, really. Just helping an old friend out with lesson plans for Sunday School. Not very exciting."

"Fun," his voice is sleepy and low again, "What're you gonna wear?"

You have to bite down on your lip to stifle another laugh, shaking your head even though he can't see you, "Go to bed, you perv."

He chuckles, "Okay, okay. Goodnight, angel."

"Goodnight, Joel."

You're about to end the call when you hear him murmur one final thing, so soft you're surprised you can even make it out - but you do:

"Hope I dream about you."

You fall asleep with a smile glued to your lips.

--

You end up wearing the same outfit you'd worn to Joel's last Saturday, though you leave the stockings at home; you doubt the women at church will be offended by your bare legs. You fasten your crucifix around your neck and make sure your mom gets a good look at you before you leave the house; you haven't spoken since yesterday afternoon but you still want her to see you're putting in some effort, as surface level as it may be.

She's in the living room when you come down the stairs, and her expression can't help but turn to one of surprise when she looks up from her book to see you standing there in your Sunday best.

"I'm going to the church," you explain softly, "Gonna help out Bethany with the lesson plan for Sunday School."

She assesses you up and down, eyes fixing on your crucifix for a moment before trailing back down to her book. She doesn't say a word.

Silent treatment. Typical.

Fifteen minutes later you find yourself being greeted by Bethany, blonde hair flowing down her dress as she stands outside the church with a bright smile plastered on her face. You recognize the forced expression immediately, one that you yourself have become an expert in feigning, though for different reasons. You haven't seen her in years but you still know her well enough to tell when she's less than thrilled about something - this time that "something" is you being there.

"I'm so excited you're here!" she tells you, voice shrill as she immediately takes a step forward to envelop you in a haphazard hug that feels neither excited nor genuine.

You should have known it would be like this. When you'd left for college a few years ago you'd promised to keep in touch with both Alice and Bethany, the only "solid" friends you'd managed to keep throughout all the studying, the tutoring, the church services, the extracurriculars, volunteering, etc. It's a miracle in itself that your friendship had even lasted through high school, if you're being honest. You'd begun to distance yourself from them a bit in those final years as you started to lose your faith while theirs only seemed to grow stronger. Leaving for college had been the last nail in the coffin.

"Me too!" you lie, feigning a similar smile as you both pull back from each other.

Though her grin is unrelenting, you can see the distance in her eyes, the sourness and disdain for your presence extremely evident. She doesn't like you. There's an awkward few seconds of silence where she assesses you up and down again, like she had at the service on Sunday.

Why did you even say yes to me coming here? You want to ask as you stand in front of her awkwardly, not really knowing what to say. If you didn't want me here you could have just said there wasn't anything for me to do. But you already know why you'd still been invited despite her obvious disdain for you - keeping up appearances means everything to these people; actually being honest about her feelings would have been disastrous for her reputation.

"Was sure you'd forgotten all about me," she finally says with an edge of malice still shrouded through her smile, "Haven't heard from you in what? Three years? And then you just show up outta the blue, huh?"

You grimace, "Uh, yeah, sorry about that. There was... I mean, I've just had a lot going on, I guess." You kick your feet awkwardly; this is not the conversation you want to be having right now.

"A lot goin' on, huh?" she echoes, eyes still scanning you up and down, "Right. Busy with college?"

You nod quickly, "Yeah, it's been kinda crazy."

She raises an eyebrow, "What are you studyin' again?"

"English Lit."

She snorts then, shaking her head and taking a step back, "Right. Reading. Sure sounds crazy."

Your brow furrows, "It's more than that."

"Oh, I'm sure it is," she puts her hands up in defense, fake laughing and smacking her lips together, "Just find it funny that an English Lit degree takes up so much of your time." She's being pretty bold with the sarcasm but you suppose she has a right to be angry, though you'd never assumed she'd be this pissed about you cutting her off, "Anyway, we should get inside, they're waitin' for us."

"Bethany," you take a step toward her, softening your expression, "I'm really sorry."

She just shakes her head again and turns away from you to reach for the handle on the front door, forced smile finally fading into a natural frown, "Forget it."

Great start.

You don't talk much after that, not after you're led into a side room off the chapel where a few other women are sitting in a circle with binders in their laps. Bethany simply gestures for you sit down in an empty chair and the meeting begins. Everyone immediately begins their rapport, discussing their plans and reading quotes aloud from their binders while you just kind of sit there unsure of what to do or say. A few of the women give you a tentative smile or two, but the way Bethany periodically glares at you is enough to keep them from actually speaking to you directly. You're okay with it though; as awkward as this is, you'd rather sit in silence than have to pretend. Still, if you'd known it would be like this you never would have come - it's not like your mother appreciates it anyway.

Your phone vibrates at one point, a text from Tasha confirming her flight information with lots of !!!!!!'s that make you smile. As if sensing your sudden mood shift, Bethany puts her hands up with another grin that doesn't reach her eyes.

"We keep phones in our purses" she says sweetly, "So we don't get distracted."

You nod and slip it back inside your bag, a gesture that's more of a peace offering than anything else; it seems to appease her.

It's strange being inside this part of the church again after so long. You'd attended your own Sunday School lessons here, prepped for choir and readings, learned your scripture. It certainly doesn't feel as safe or inviting as it once did, though you have to admit that there was always an undercurrent of pressure, of judgement - an energy that still remains today. Bethany watches you closely, quietly assessing you as you nod along to everyone's suggestions and ideas and try to keep up your long-time façade of obedience. You push down the new parts of you that long to take back a bit of control, maybe say something shocking or suggest something ridiculous just to see how they'd react.

You've been sitting in silence for about forty five minutes when Bethany announces its time for a quick phone break. Like clockwork everyone in the room pulls out their devices and starts checking for missed calls from their kids, their husbands. You pull yours out and your eyebrows go up in surprise when you see a text from Joel on your lockscreen:

How's your day going angel?

He didn't forget his promise. A smile plays at your lips as you start typing out your reply, but it quickly fades when you feel Bethany's eyes on you, watching.

"I'm, uh-" you stand up, smoothing out the creases in your dress and gripping your phone tightly, "I'm gonna take a bathroom break."

--

The bathroom is the same as you remember it, high ceilings and white walls, your footsteps echoing loudly as you walk over to the sinks and lean your back against the countertop. You continue typing out your reply to Joel:

well all the church ladies are giving me the silent treatment til i'm worthy of being here again lol. but jokes on them cause my mom is also giving me the silent treatment so i have training! anyway i miss you. wanna hug you. hope you're feeling a bit better today 💕

You turn around and face the mirror while you wait for his reply. You're still smiling - it's impossible not to when you're thinking about Joel, but this smile is bright and genuine, unlike the forced grins you've been sharing with Bethany for the past hour. God, you can't remember the last time anything made you feel as free and happy as Joel makes you, like nothing else really matters. Your phone buzzes and you tear your eyes away from the mirror to read his reply:

Aw baby I'm sorry. I wanna hug you too. Wanna do a bit more than hug if I'm being honest, but you know that already.

You bring your other hand up to your mouth, smiling even wider into it as his typing bubble pops up again only seconds later:

And I'm sorry about last night. If I said anything stupid please forget it ever happened. Me and alcohol don't mix that well sometimes. I'm alright, don't worry about me x

But I do worry, you want to say, I want to make you feel better. But how can you do that from a church bathroom, miles away from wherever he is right now? You're suddenly reminded of something he'd told you a few weeks ago, something you hadn't quite understood in the moment - You can text me whenever you want, tell me all about what you're doin', brighten up my workday. Maybe send me some pictures.

Oh.

You look at yourself in the mirror again and carefully place your phone down on the edge of the sink. Your hand slowly comes up to push aside the collar of your dress, pull the stretchy material past your shoulder and down your arm. You do the same to the other side, slipping out of your sleeves and tugging down the high neckline of your dress to expose your bare chest to the mirror, putting your cleavage on display. You bite your lip, willing yourself to see what Joel sees, a pretty girl in a pretty dress, bra straps clinging to her skin and a crucifix hanging from her throat. Filthy.

You grab your phone and turn it toward the mirror, opening up your camera app and moving it close enough so he can see only your torso, sleeves hanging limp at your sides while your other arm comes up to squeeze your breasts together a bit, accentuating your cleavage even more. You snap a pic and send it to him before you can talk yourself out of it.

He replies seconds later:

Fuck

A grin spreads across your face and you make quick work of slipping your bra straps down your shoulders as well, just as another text from him comes in:

Send me another baby. Please.

Already one step ahead of you, you think to yourself as your cheeks warm and you pull down the cups of your bra, your breasts spilling out into the cool air of the bathroom. You squeeze them together again, nipples hardening tightly as you take another picture and send it along with a coy message:

better?

He must be staring at his phone, waiting for it, because his typing bubble appears instantaneously. You can't help but feel a sense of pride at the power you're holding right now, a change of pace from your usual naivety.

Oh babygirl. This is just what I needed.

i know :)

You glance at the bathroom door and then at the time - you still have a few minutes before the meeting starts up again and your mind is already racing with what you can do with those few minutes. With barely any hesitation you tug your dress up over your thighs, pulling your panties to the side and aiming your phone underneath. You frown when you pull your phone back up to find that it's dark and blurry.

"Hold on," you whisper to no one, then carefully lift your leg and place your heel on the countertop for support, pulling your dress up again and aiming your phone a little better. You pull back your panties and aren't surprised in the slightest to feel that they're suddenly damp.

This picture comes out much better. Your pussy is bare and a little wet, clit poking out past your lips, panties pulled against your inner thigh. You already know it's gonna make him crazy as you hit send.

Jesus Christ

He's already typing something else when you receive it and you can't help but giggle, covering your mouth and trying to picture where he is right now, what he's doing. Is he in a bathroom too? On a break? Or is he in the middle of a job, surrounded by other people? The latter thought makes you even wetter somehow.

Fuck you have such a pretty pussy baby.

thank you mr. miller :)

Will you hold her open a little for me? Show me that sweet little hole?

Who are you to deny such a request? With heat radiating all over your body you bring your phone down again and scissor your lips apart, exposing the innermost part of yourself to your phone camera. You can feel your own slick on the tips of your fingers, and when you push yourself open you feel a bit of your wetness dribble down onto your palm. Fuck. This is hotter than you'd expected it would be. You'd thought it would be a good way to make him feel better, get him through his work day like he'd said; you never thought you'd enjoy it this much.

Oh sweetheart. Look at that.

You feel another rush of pride as you take your leg down from the counter and tug your dress back down, rubbing your thighs together and doing everything in your power not to touch yourself again even though you want to. A quiet whimper unconsciously tears itself past your lips at his follow-up message:

Who's that perfect pussy belong to babygirl?

You've never typed a message back so fast in your life.

you. it's yours mr. miller.

That's right. Good girl.

Your skin is on fire, body tingling in all the right places. You smooth a hand down your bare chest, cup one of your breasts, gently squeeze. It's impossible for your eyes not to roll back a bit when you imagine Joel's hand on you instead, big and firm and callused and perfect. Your pussy throbs in your underwear and another whimper slips past your lips.

i'm really wet now :(

I know angel. Come over tonight and I'll take care of it, Ok?

Your heart leaps at the invitation, even more wetness pooling in your panties at the thought of what Joel might want to do tonight, if there's another “lesson” he has in mind.

yes please

Eyeing the time again, you bite your lip in disappointment when you realize you should probably be getting back. You wait until Joel has finished typing his final response, a message that makes your skin burn with anticipation:

Don't touch yourself til you see me. Keep that soft little pussy hidden, baby. Promise me.

i promise x

Just as you hit send you suddenly hear the unmistakable sound of footsteps down the hall, quickly approaching the bathroom. Your eyes widen in the mirror, gaze snapping to your bare breasts, sleeves still hanging loosely at your sides. In a panic you hurriedly attempt to stuff yourself back into your bra before you have company – but you're not that lucky.

The bathroom door bangs open and you freeze with one arm halfway through your sleeve, breasts still completely exposed in the mirror as you turn on the spot to see none other than Bethany standing there, frozen in place.

“I-” she looks flabbergasted, expression one of pure horror as she takes a step back from you and grips the knob of the door like she could rip it off at any moment. Your free arm that isn't trapped in a sleeve comes up to cover yourself as best you can, but you know she's already seen everything.

“I'm- I was just-” You're similarly taken aback and at a complete loss for words, unsure how the fuck you can explain what exactly she's just walked in on.

Her eyes fall to the phone in your hand, like she's putting the pieces together, then she shakily takes another step back and leaves without saying another word, the click of her heels echoing back at you loudly until the door finishes closing behind her.

Shit.

You don't have time to stand around thinking up an excuse; you do briefly consider escaping through one of the windows to avoid facing her, but you know it would just delay the inevitable. Instead you hastily finish pulling your dress back on and stare at yourself in the mirror for one final moment.

Your smile is gone. So is the light in your eyes. You suddenly begin to feel that familiar sense of guilt creeping in, the shame, the sin. You blink a few times and find that there are tears welling up in your eyes, a lump in your throat. A tiny voice in the back of your mind, one you've been attempting to mute for years, whispers to you: What have you done?

--

Bethany doesn't speak to or look at you for the rest of the meeting. It's not much of a change from before you'd gone to the bathroom, but there's something new in her silence now, something you can see in her eyes as she stares down at her binder while the other women talk. Fear. You've known her for most of your life, can sense certain mood changes from a mile away; you've frightened her. And somehow that just adds even more to the guilt building in your stomach.

You'll apologize to her after the meeting, it's all you can do. You genuinely feel horrible that she'd walked in on something so private, seen something she never intended or desired to ever see. You wonder if there's anything you can use to pass off as an excuse; maybe you spilled something on your dress and were cleaning it off? Maybe it was too tight and you needed a breather? Anything is better than the alternative – the truth – but you somehow doubt she'll believe anything you say at this point. That bridge was broken the second you left for college; there's no repairing it now.

The meeting ends with a few pleasantries exchanged and several comments about picking kids up from school, getting home to cook something for dinner, normal things that remind you how abnormal your own situation is in comparison. Half an hour ago you'd felt on top of the world, in control, had power in the tips of your fingers. Now you just feel small again, inconsequential.

You wait until the other ladies have left before taking a step toward Bethany, ready to unload your apologies and beg for forgiveness. She surprises you by speaking first.

"I'd think twice before wearing that again,” she hisses at you, venomous and pointed. Your eyes widen.

"Excuse me?"

"I said,” her words are slow and full of bitter intention, eyes glaring daggers at you, “I'd think twice before wearing that again" she gestures to the crucifix around your neck and you unconsciously reach up to take it between your fingers, glancing down at it before looking back up to meet her angry gaze.

“I'm...” you feel overwhelmed, tears pricking in your eyes again at the sudden burst of rage being directed at you, “I don't...”

"You might not understand this,” she practically spits through her teeth, “but that symbol actually means something to the people here."

"I know what it means.” It comes out as barely a whisper, voice shaky as she takes an intimidating step toward you with nothing but malice in her expression.

"So that's why you've got your breasts out in a public bathroom? A church bathroom?”

“Bethany, I-”

“You're not welcome here anymore, understand?” her voice is full of finality, “You can come to church with your parents-” The mention of your parents sends your anxiety into a tailspin, heart beating frantically in your chest as she continues to step closer and closer toward you, “And you can pretend you're their good little girl. But I know the truth. And it's not welcome in my Sunday School ever again. Got it?”

My Sunday school. The superiority complex is strong and you know deep down that this is all completely rooted in her own fears, her own desires, her pride, but none of that seems to matter when she's staring you down like this, holding you captive with her hostile words.

"Got it,” you whisper, nodding shakily.

"Good. Now go home and take," she points toward the crucifix, the tip of her finger close enough to faintly brush against the shape of it, “that,” she suddenly prods it, giving you one final sneer, “off.”

It takes you twenty minutes to leave the parking lot after that, tears blurring your vision as you cry in your car and try not to let the shame completely envelop you.

--

Going to Joel's that night carries none of the anticipation you'd felt earlier this afternoon; instead you feel nothing but shame as you steal your mother's house key from its dish in the hallway, closing the front door behind you as softly as you can and hurrying out into the night. There's no excitement or rush like the last time you'd done this. You feel like you could cry at any moment as you approach Joel's house, climbing his front steps with a heavy weight on your shoulders that wasn't there before, that hasn't been there in weeks.

The door opens before you can even turn the knob – he must have been watching from his window, waiting for you in anticipation for tonight's “lesson”. Your stomach lurches.

“There's my little Sunday School girl,” he murmurs, taking your hand and tugging you gently inside.

“Please don't call me that,” you say quietly, head down.

He shuts the door behind you and takes your hands in his – you can feel his eyes on you but you're unsure of the look on his face, what expression is on it. Does he sense there's something wrong? Or is he waiting for you to jump his bones?

“Hey,” his voice is soft, concerned, “Hey, look at me, sweetheart.”

You shake your head, still staring at the floor.

“What happened, babygirl?” he murmurs, one of his hands releasing yours to come up and stroke your cheek gently, thumb grazing the wetness beneath your eyes, “Why're you cryin', darlin'? C'mere.” His finger travels down to your chin, pushes your face up to look at him.

His expression is worried, brow furrowed and forehead creased, a frown playing at his lips. You feel your heartbeat slow, the weight on your shoulders decreasing just a little bit as safety settles in your bones. He cares.

“I had a horrible day,” you whisper, feeling tears trickle down into the corners of your mouth, “I know you want to...want to...” you shake your head, “Whatever we were gonna do. But I don't think I can tonight, Joel. I don't feel good.”

“Oh, babygirl,” he breathes, releasing your chin and immediately wrapping you up in his embrace, arms tightening around you as he pulls you against his chest, “We don't have to do anythin', don't even worry about that.”

You bury your face in his chest, breathe him in. His flannel underneath your mattress is nothing compared to the real thing, the real smell of him overtaking your senses and filling you with a true feeling of warmth and safety. His arms are so big – he's so big – and without meaning to you find yourself going completely limp in his arms, bones turning to jelly. It's like finally breathing in the fresh air after holding your breath underwater, a natural reaction to finally being where you belong.

He doesn't question your body's response, almost seems to understand completely as he pulls you up from the floor and adjusts you slightly to cradle you in his arms, carrying you past the living room, past the kitchen, up the stairs and to his bedroom. You just close your eyes and bury your face in his shirt, inhale the scent of sawdust and sweat and cedar and Joel.

He tips you gently onto his bed, presses a gentle kiss to your forehead before settling in beside you without saying anything. You feel his arm wrap around you, tug you in closer beside him as he noses your hair and lets you just exist.

Minutes pass before you finally break the comfortable silence, voice quiet and small - “I feel so ashamed.”

You feel his brow furrow in your hair and you turn around to face him, bringing your arm up around his torso and pressing your hand firmly against his back. He looks at you with confusion, concern.

You tell him everything. About Bethany, your friendship with her and Alice before you left for college, the way you'd already begun to lose your faith even then. You tell him about your mom, about the silent treatment and her reaction to the white lie, the lie that's practically nothing in the grand scheme of deceit you've been weaving these past few weeks. You talk about church and Sunday School and all the guilt you'd felt in that little room growing up, how being there again felt wrong and uncomfortable. You tell him how free you'd felt in the bathroom with your camera, the power you'd felt, reclaimed, and how all of it had been snatched away from you the second Bethany had entered. How she'd destroyed any semblance of confidence you'd been able to find today, how she'd shamed you for the crucifix that you don't even want to be wearing. It's the most you've ever told him, the most you've ever talked to him about anything.

And he listens.

He doesn't seem put out by your venting, annoyed or irritated or ready to send you home at any minute. He just nods, frowns at the right moments, strokes your arm and your cheek, kisses your forehead when you start to cry. Wipes the tears away when you apologize for crying. He stays with you and remains present and attentive, lets you talk and talk until you start to apologize for how much you've been talking.

“I know this isn't even what you signed up for,” you blubber, shaking your head and bringing your hands up to cover your face, “I'm sorry I keep bringing so much- so many complications into your life.”

“Shh,” he soothes, placing his large hands on yours and pulling them away from your tired eyes, leaning in to brush his nose against yours, “Stop apologizin', baby. Stop. You've got nothin' to be sorry for.”

You suddenly sit up in bed, leaning back against the headboard and bringing a hand up to touch the crucifix still clasped around your neck. You hadn't taken it off like she'd told you to do; you'd felt like doing so would have made you weak, would have been like giving up, even though you'd never wanted to even wear it again in the first place.

“Why does this little thing have so much fucking power over me?” you ask aloud, not directed at Joel but more-so to yourself, “My whole life, no one has ever seen me, they've just seen this.” You shake your head, squeezing the tiny cross in your hand. “And wearing it again has just brought all that shit back, it's done absolutely nothing good. Wore it for my mom and she still gives me the silent treatment. Wore it for Bethany and she still treats me like garbage, tells me to take it off. It's just a fucking necklace.”

Joel sits up beside you, places a warm hand on your thigh and peers at you with those soft brown eyes, lulling you back into a sense of calm, of serenity.

“Give it to me,” he says quietly.

Your brow furrows in confusion. You stare at him for a moment, then watch as he carefully brings his hands up to graze his callused fingertips against your neck, brushing the chain.

“I'll take it off your hands for a bit,” he murmurs, “Outta sight, outta mind. And if you want it back, I'll have it ready for you. How's that sound?”

You nod slowly to yourself, feeling your eyes begin to sting again at his words, “...Good. Th-that sounds good.”

Without saying anything else you hear the sound of the clasp being undone, feel the chain slip away from your skin as Joel takes it from you. You turn your head to watch as he fists it in his palm for a moment, gaze thoughtful and faraway as he traces the shape of the cross with his thumb. A few seconds later he opens his bedside table and carefully places it inside, then shuts the drawer.

And just like that, the weight is gone.

--

You take a shower in his bathroom again, wanting to wash this day off you and start over, clean slate. You could have had one when you got home from the meeting earlier but you'd instead opted to just lay in bed feeling sorry for yourself for much longer than you'd needed to. Now you close your eyes and let the hot water envelop you, wash yourself with Joel's body wash and allow yourself to become his again, picturing him laying in his bed in the other room, waiting for you. This is what matters. This moment. Right now.

You enter his bedroom wrapped in one of his towels, drops of water still spilling down your skin onto the hardwood floor. He's sitting up in bed, shirtless with his legs hidden under the covers. He's seemingly deep in thought as he stares at his phone screen, brows scrunched together. You watch as he pulls the phone away from himself, eyes squinting and lips parting a bit, then pulls it back, like he can't see what he's looking at properly. You realize that's probably the case.

“You need glasses,” you say with a soft giggle, and his expression relaxes when he sees you standing there, phone going back on his nightstand.

“I have glasses,” he admits sheepishly, giving you a tender smile, “Just hate wearin' 'em.”

“Of course,” you roll your eyes and take a few steps forward, still gripping the towel around yourself. His eyes fall to the parts of you that are bare, revelling in the way the lamplight reflects on your wet skin. You feel tingles erupt through your senses under his gaze.

“Are you naked?” you ask softly.

He shakes his head, “Wearin' pants, don't worry.”

You stand there for a moment, staring. He just stares back, eyebrows going up a bit while he waits for you to say something else. When you don't, he tilts his head slightly, appraising you.

“Do you want me to be naked, babygirl?”

You're answering before you even really know what you want, "Yes."

Without needing to be told twice he reaches under the covers with both hands and shimmies his way out of his pajama bottoms, staying hidden under the sheets as he tosses them out onto the floor. You bite your lip, still just standing there staring at him without moving. You're still dripping everywhere, a little puddle of water forming at your feet the longer you stay frozen.

He raises his finger and playfully curls it toward himself with a smile, "C'mere, baby," he murmurs, "Be naked with me."

You don't need telling twice either.

The towel drops from your body, landing in the puddle of water on the floor - easy cleanup. You feel heat radiating through every inch of your bare skin as you walk toward the bed, avoiding Joel's eyes and quickly slipping in beside him. You really don't know what you're doing - you'd said when you got here that you didn't want to do anything, not tonight, and it's still true. But part of you just aches to be close to Joel, to feel his warm heat, his rough skin, be connected to him somehow. It's what you've wanted all week.

You inch in beside him, back against the headboard, your bare thigh touching his lightly beneath the sheets, and you find yourself tensing up unconsciously. He clocks your reaction immediately.

"You don't gotta be nervous, angel," he tells you softly, soothingly.

You swallow and take a deep breath, "It's hard not to be," you whisper, though there's no reason to, "I'm just... I'm so..."

"What?" he asks, brown eyes seeking yours in the dim light. His hand comes up to cradle your face, thumb swiping beneath your eye again like he's checking for more tears - luckily you're feeling much better in that department.

You sigh, shrugging slightly, "I don't know what I'm doing," your eyes fall down to the duvet, knowing that if you pulled it back you'd see your bodies touching underneath, his rough and tan skin pressed against yours, soft and untouched, "I mean, I don't even know why I came tonight. I knew I didn't- that I didn't want to-" you sigh again in frustration, unable to find the right words, "I just... I missed you," your eyes travel back up to meet his, "I just wanted to be near you."

His expression softens, still stroking your cheek as he peers into your eyes, "You feel safe with me, don't you?" You nod. "You know I won't do anythin' you don't want me to do, right?" Another nod. "So it's okay to just relax when you're with me."

You grimace, "How can I relax when we're naked in bed together?"

He chuckles, dropping his hand from your face and shuffling down into the bed a bit, away from the headboard, "Okay, time for another lesson."

You feel your heart sink again, worried that he's not understanding - probably because you can't explain it right - but he smiles reassuringly at you and curls his finger slightly, urging you to follow him downwards. With a quiet inhale you slowly inch away from the headboard and further down into the bed, beneath the duvet. You both stop moving when your heads hit the pillows, laying down fully beside each other.

"Gettin' naked doesn't always mean there has to be sex," he says softly, and you watch as he very slowly brings his hand down beneath the duvet; you know where it's going before it touches you, but you still shiver when you feel his fingers brush lightly against your bare arm, "Us bein' naked in bed together doesn't mean anythin' has to happen."

"But earlier today I said..." you trail off, shaking your head, "I promised that-"

"Earlier is earlier," he brushes your arm again, tender and comforting, "Circumstances change, your day got shitty. Mine was no better. It happens."

His hand travels downward, toward the skin of your hip. He curls his palm around your bare flesh and gently massages it, thumb stroking the edge of your tummy. It's intimate and new, but somehow it feels more safe and comforting than sexual, like he's simply doing something casual, normal.

"Sometimes you just wanna lay in bed with someone" he murmurs, still touching you tenderly, "No expectations, no pressure. No nothin'. Sure, it's fun to touch each other and be together like that, but if you just wanna sleep..." his fingertips brush your back gently, then press firmly into your skin as he pulls you a bit closer toward him, "If you just wanna lay here with me, that's okay too."

You're not sure what to think, staring at him with a million different thoughts flooding your mind. Your interpretation of what men want has always been a bit of a grey area, but you've heard enough from both your family and your friends to know that most of them are just after one thing. You'd heard it from your parents your whole life who always warned about non-Christian boys and their sinful thoughts, then from the girls at college who dealt with disrespect and catcalls, men who turned on them in an instant the second they realized they weren't getting any.

Joel isn't like that. Sure, he wants sex - that's been obvious since day one, when he'd invited you inside his house within minutes of meeting you. He'd only had one thing on his mind, just like your parents had always said. But he hadn't thrown a fit when you'd said no, and up until this point he's made it abundantly clear that the ball is in your court, that it's up to you what happens between the two of you.

"I know all this stuff can be scary," he continues softly when you don't reply, "I know you're embarrassed about bein' so inexperienced, but you don't need to be. I'm here to make it easier for you; I want you to be comfortable."

He nudges forward a bit and slowly begins to wrap his arms around you, warm and inviting. You let him, body going loose and comfortable in his grasp as you feel your eyes close; safe. You feel so safe.

"You're so warm," is all you can think to say, loving the way it feels to have his broad and hairy chest pressed up against your bare breasts, his big and strong arms winding around your smaller form.

He chuckles softly and you feel him press a gentle kiss to your cheek, beard scratching your skin in your favorite way. You bring your arms up and hug him back beneath the blankets, feeling your naked thighs press firmly against his. You're aware of his cock - it's hard not to be, not when it's pressed gently against the base of your tummy, soft against your skin - but he doesn't rub himself against you or do anything to initiate more than this, more than just being together like he'd said.

He really means it, you know he does.

"I can't wait to have sex with you," you hear yourself whisper in his ear; it sounds dirty but you don't mean it to be, "I just...I'm really glad it's gonna be you."

And I'm pretty sure I'm falling for you.

--

You wake up the next morning to a firm and solid presence at your back, bare and warm and comfy. You're surprised you're awake before Joel's alarm, wondering what exactly woke you up in the first place - and then you feel it. Something wet and sticky against your lower back, something pulsing and twitching every so often against your skin.

Good morning.

He hadn't pressed his cock against you like this last night when you were cuddling, hadn't asked you to touch it or even acknowledged its presence. But sleeping Joel is an entirely different person, his big arms wrapped around you tightly, one splayed across your belly while the other holds your right breast, cups it like it's meant to fit there. He holds you in place firmly, breath at your neck, nose in your hair.

You're not sure how much time you have left before his alarm goes off. The sun is only barely starting to come up outside the window, so it could start ringing at any time now. All you know is that the sensation of having him so close to you like this, his most intimate part so close to yours, so wet and warm, it's making you all wet and warm. Your skin almost feels itchy, especially at your neck where his warm breath leaves a damp spot beneath your ear, a spot you're suddenly longing for him to kiss, to lick.

"Joel," you breathe, unable to wait any longer, scared that at any moment he'll have to leave the bed and start getting ready for work.

No response.

"Joel," you repeat, a bit louder this time, and with his name you carefully grind back against him a little bit, the wet head of his cock trailing back and forth against your warm skin. He makes a grumbling noise in his chest, pulls you in a bit closer, "Joel, wake up," you moan, painfully aware of the shape of his balls against your ass, big and heavy and suddenly the hottest thing you've ever felt in your life.

"What?" he groans, rousing from sleep, "What is it?"

It's all the confirmation of awareness you need to suddenly turn in the sheets, bring the duvet down to expose your naked bodies to the both of you. His eyes are bleary and tired as he watches you from beneath heavy eyelids, sees where your gaze has settled.

His cock lays long and thick and loose against his tummy, round tip drooling precum into the hair smattered above his belly button. God, he's so big. Your lips part, saliva filling your mouth like it had the last time you saw it, like somehow your body knows exactly what the next step is.

"I wanna put my mouth on it," you whisper, pushing your hair back behind your ears and turning your gaze back to Joel's face, "Please."

His eyebrows go up in surprise, eyelashes fluttering with sleep. He's probably wondering where this is coming from, how the girl in his bed right now is the same one who just wanted to be held last night, but he doesn't seem to be complaining. He nods quickly, stretches his arms above his head and tries to rouse himself even more from sleep.

"Of course you can, baby," he mutters huskily, voice deep and dripping with arousal, "Go ahead."

"Tell me if I'm doing something wrong," you murmur softly, and before you can even fully process what you're doing or question if you'll even be good at it, your lips are pressing against the warm heat of his wet tip.

He hisses immediately and you pull back, frightened for a moment that you've already fucked up somehow. He shakes his head quickly at you, "No, no, you're good baby, that's good," one of his hands comes down to settle against the back of your head, fingers tangling gently in your hair, "Give it a kiss, just like that."

And you do. Time is already not on your side - you feel like there's a countdown clock hanging over your head as you press another kiss in the same spot, his precum sticky on your lips. You'd thought it might be gross, had heard lots about blowjobs from your friends and how unpleasant they can be, but when your tongue darts out to carefully prod against where he's leaking, you find that it doesn't bother you that much at all.

"Tastes funny," you murmur softly, peppering a few more kisses around the wide head and then down to his shaft, thumbing the prominent vein on the underside as you do it.

"Kinda gross, huh?" you hear him say softly above you, a strained edge to his voice that makes you smile against him.

"I think I like it, actually," you admit softly, tongue darting out once again to slowly lap up a bead at the tip. You're not lying; there's something masculine and sexy and inherently Joel about it, something you hadn't been expecting.

"That's good, sweetheart," he murmurs, stroking the back of your head gently, "That's so good, angel." You don't know whether he means your opinion on the taste or simply a reaction to the things you're doing with your tongue, but either way you keep going, hoping that the alarm doesn't interrupt you.

You wrap your lips around the tip carefully, pulling it into your mouth and sucking it gently - very gently. He makes a breathless sound above you and you can't help but bring your gaze up to his face, your eyes meeting his as you swallow him down.

"That's it, that's a good girl," he breathes, thumbing a strand of hair at your temple and pushing it behind your ear, eyes dark, "Look at you."

You swirl your tongue around the tip, still making sure to keep eye contact with him as you carefully slip more of him inside your mouth. He's so big, there's absolutely no way you'll be able to fit all of him inside, at least not without some practice. He doesn't seem to mind that you can only take a little bit of him, his thumb coming downward to stroke gently at the corner of your mouth. He wipes away a bit of drool pooling there, brows furrowing.

"You're doin' so good, angel," he whispers, nodding slowly to you in reassurance as you very slowly begin to lift your head up and down, up and down, eyes going hazy, "Takin' that cock so well."

His words spur you on, encourage you to take a little bit more. You've got about half of him in your mouth and you already know you won't be able to take anymore, the spongey tip pushing dangerously close to your gag reflex. You absolutely do not want to choke, don't want to ruin this in any way. You want him to feel good. Feel better.

"Oh, honey," he groans softly when you begin to palm his balls, rolling them gently and feeling their fullness, round and heavy, "This mouth," he touches the corner of your lips again, a bit harder this time, trails his fingers downward to grip your chin, "Made to have my cock in there, huh?" his eyes are boring into yours, pupils blown wide, "You like havin' your mouth full like that, babygirl?"

You nod and whimper around his length, speeding up a little bit and never breaking eye contact with him, obsessed with watching his eyes get darker and darker, filling more and more with lust as he watches you pleasure him.

"Yeah, you do," he murmurs, voice soothing again like last night, calm and safe, "What a good girl you are, wakin' me up to suck my cock. Couldn't wait, could ya, baby?" you shake your head and the head of his cock slips past your throat a little too far, so much that you have to pull off him quickly to be sure you don't gag, "Aw, baby, that's okay," he reassures you gently, "It's a lot, I know."

Your eyes are hooded and your jaw is already starting to ache - you're not used to doing something like this and he knows it, strokes your cheek gently as he takes his cock in his hand and carefully pushes the tip against your lips.

"You just kiss it, baby," he whispers, dark and deep, "Kiss that cock 'til I come, okay?"

You do as you're told, lips parting slightly as he rubs the head of his cock against your lips and strokes himself a few more times, bringing himself close to the edge. He's so gorgeous like this, so rugged and almost animalistic as his chest heaves, groans escaping his mouth as he watches your lips. His hand is still in your hair, grip getting tighter and tighter as you lean down a bit so he can gently fuck the tip of his cock back into your mouth. Your eyes close involuntarily and you can feel your pussy throbbing against the mattress with every thrust, lips tight around him.

"Ah, fuck," he grits out suddenly, then pulls his cock away from your mouth and releases all over his chest and stomach, thighs tensing up as you watch his eyes practically roll back into his head. Your eyes are wide and attentive, locked onto the white ropes of come that spurt against his bare skin. You find yourself wondering what it would feel like at the back of your throat instead, on your tongue, what it would taste like...

Your thoughts are interrupted by Joel's alarm going off, loud and obnoxious. Before he can pull himself up to turn it off, you lean over to the nightstand and do it yourself, swiping it off and turning back to his blissed out form. He lies there panting for a moment, eyes closed. You can't help but smile, feeling pride swell in your chest again at the knowledge that you made him feel like this.

"Don't go back to sleep," you whisper softly, "You gotta go to work."

He groans then, but opens his eyes and gives you a crooked smile and a wink, expression still sleepy and satisfied, "Who needs an alarm clock when I got you, huh?" He gestures with his finger for you to move closer and you do, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his lips, "Mornin', darlin'," he murmurs against your mouth.

"Morning," you whisper back, and you revel in the smile on his face when you pull away, "Sorry for jumping your bones so early."

He just shakes his head with a wide smile, "Never apologize for jumpin' my bones, baby." His eyes fall to your naked body, settling on your pussy, still wet and aching against the sheets, "Aw, sweetheart, lemme take care of that for you."

You shake your head, pointing to his phone, "We don't have time, you gotta get to work and I gotta get home before my parents wake up," you slip out of bed and reach down to pick up the clothes you'd stripped yourself of last night before your shower. He starts to protest but you put your hand up with a soft laugh, "It's okay, Joel. I wanted to do this for you, start your day out right. Give you a chance at a good day."

He peers up at you from the bed, face smooshed into the pillow as he watches you get dressed, "Doesn't seem fair."

You just roll your eyes, pulling on your panties and shorts and pointing to his phone again, "Really, we need to hurry," you bite your lip as you slip your t-shirt over your head, "I have keys this time but I still don't wanna risk it."

"Okay, okay," he grumbles softly, "I'm goin'."

He slips out of bed and stretches, tilting his body back and forth. You both hear the way his bones crack, the noise that emits from his throat when he bends his back a certain way. You watch his expression change, going from content and sated to embarrassed and grumpy in seconds.

"And just like that, the illusion is gone," he mutters to himself, limping away from the bed and toward the door without so much as a side glance to you, clearly upset by the sudden reminder of his age. You frown, watching him go and feeling an ache in your chest that makes a home there for the rest of the morning.

--

He'd made you breakfast last time, so it's only fair that you make something for him today. Unfortunately cooking has never been your forte, so about fifteen minutes later you're waving a dish rag at the fire alarm while the sausages you'd managed to burn are smoking in the sink. Joel comes running down the stairs after his shower with a look of concern on his face, only for it to fade into one of amusement when he sees the situation.

"Now why am I teachin' you guitar when you clearly don't know how to even use a stove?"

"Oh, shut up," you can't even pretend to be mad at him, grin spreading across your face as you shake your head and breathe a sigh of relief when the alarm stops going off, "Help me clean this up."

You end up making toast instead.

"You know, we've still got about ten minutes," he says across from you at the table as you eat, peering down at his watch quickly.

"Yeah, 'cause I fail as a cook," you mutter, making a face at your slice of toast, "I was gonna do eggs too, you know."

"Let's not reach for the stars too quickly now," he says with a sly smile, putting his hand up quickly when you prepare to retort, "Anyway, that's not what I meant."

"What did you-" you look up from your toast and see him beckoning you toward him again like he had last night, finger curling toward himself with a sly smile on his face.

You look at the clock on the oven, biting your lip.

"It'll take five minutes tops," he says, and you raise your eyebrow at him.

"Really?" you challenge, "Five minutes?"

"Five minutes."

That, you'd like to see. Dropping your toast back onto the plate, you stand up and walk to the other side of the table, unsure what exactly he wants you to do. He spreads his legs a bit, points to his thigh.

"Sit here, babygirl," he says, voice low and hypnotic, "Wanna show you somethin' new."

Yes please.

You situate yourself on his lap, one leg going between his thighs while the other dangles carefully off the other side of the chair. He pulls you down, big hands coming up to palm your hips and hold you there firmly. You swallow tightly, unsure exactly what he has in mind.

"You know what feels really good?" he murmurs, thumbs slowly stroking the bare skin between your shirt and your shorts.

"What?" you whisper, peering down into his eyes with intrigue.

"This," he says softly, then very slowly begins to move your hips, dragging you carefully back and forth along his thigh. Your eyebrows shoot up, lips parting as you feel the ache in your core immediately return, the pressure of his thigh and the movement of his hands setting your nerves alight.

He looks down at his own handiwork, watches as he moves you back and forth, back and forth, rocking you over and over again until you're whimpering in his lap, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders. He just smiles up at you, doesn't stop his movements.

"Yeah, that feels good, doesn't it?" he breathes, watching your expression closely, "Feels good to finally have somethin' touchin' that pussy, huh baby?"

You moan at his words, hands slipping from his shoulders to wrap around him as you lean forward to bury your face in his neck. He just starts to move you faster, chuckling softly to himself when your hips buck against him. It's amazing how such a simple action can feel so fucking good, the constant stimulation against your clit through layers of material making you writhe and whimper.

He removes one of his hands from your hips and slips it inside the leg of your shorts, fingertips tickling your inner thigh gently. You grapple onto him even tighter, hugging him like a koala as his thumb slowly begins to stroke you through the wet spot of your panties.

"Couldn't stop thinkin' about this pussy yesterday," he murmurs, thumb rubbing your clit over and over in little circles, "Those pictures were so filthy, baby."

You moan against his shoulder, gripping him tighter as his thumb begins to pick up speed. He presses a kiss to your neck, wet and hot; it makes your eyes roll back.

"And this little hole," he murmurs in your ear, suddenly adding a finger inside your shorts to circle your entrance slowly, "Kept thinkin' about this tiny little hole, all open for me."

God, when he talks like that you can't even fucking think, brain running on autopilot as he pulls you impossibly closer and lets you bare down on his thigh, his finger and thumb trapped under your weight, pressed firmly against your core.

"Who's gonna fill up that hole, babygirl?" he whispers in your ear, soft and secret, "Huh? Who's that hole belong to?"

"You," you whimper into his shoulder, eyes shut tight as he strokes his finger up and down through the fabric, adding even more pressure to the overwhelming sensations you're already feeling "It's yours, Mr. Miller."

"And what's gonna go inside it, sweetheart?"

"Hnhng," you can't speak, inhaling shakily as Joel's other hand presses harder against your hip and continues to guide you, fucking you back and forth against his thigh. He just watches you, eyes dark, lips parted, brow furrowed.

"Words, babygirl," he reminds you softly, "Use your words. What's gonna go inside that tight little hole? Huh? Tell me."

"Y-your cock."

"That's right," he murmurs, the tip of his finger prodding inside you gently, taking the damp material of your panties with it, "Gonna fill you up so deep with my cock, honey. You're gonna feel it right here," he moves his hand up and places it at the base of your belly, pushes against it softly, "Gonna be so big inside you, sweet girl."

Oh fuck.

"I want it so bad," you groan, wrapping your arms even tighter around him, "I need it Mr. Miller."

"You do need it," he agrees softly as he kisses the top of your head, bringing his hand back down from your belly to guide you again, moving you back and forth "Need to be fucked so bad, don't you baby? Til you can't even think straight."

You nod frantically, continuing to grind yourself down against his thigh over and over and over, "Please," you whimper, almost a squeak, "Please, Mr. Miller."

"Shh," he soothes, pulling you in closer and moving your hips against him, looking at you with those big brown eyes full of lust and safety, "I will, babygirl. Soon. I'll fuck you so good, honey. I promise." Your body hitches in his lap as you near the edge, eyes going wide and mouth popping open as your orgasm starts to hit you, "Yeah? You like thinkin' about that, huh? Me fuckin' this soaked little pussy into my mattress? Fillin' you up so deep you can feel me in your stomach?"

You can't hold on anymore, eyes shutting tight and high pitched whimpers flowing past your lips as you start to come. He pins you against his thigh, holds you there tight and firm as your pussy pulses and throbs through his pants. You lean forward to bury your face in his neck as you ride it out, feel his hand press against your back.

"Oh, good girl, that's it, baby," he murmurs, kissing your temple gently and stroking your back in little circles, "Come all over my lap, sweetheart. Show me how wet she can get, there you go. Good girl."

After a moment of catching your breath and willing yourself to pull your face away from his neck, you both bring your attention to the clock on the stove - five minutes have passed.

"Told ya," he murmurs, pulling you into one more hug, hitching his chin over your shoulder and rubbing your back gently as your head lolls against him.

You're too blissed out to tease him back.

--

The arrivals gate isn't as busy as you'd expected, thankfully. You lean against your car a few hours later, still reeling from your morning with Joel as you wait for Tasha to show up. You'd told him about your weekend plans before you'd left, insisting that despite spending time with Tasha you'd still be attending your Saturday lesson.

"Can't wait," he'd murmured to you, low and deep in your ear after giving you one final kiss at the door, "Got somethin' real special planned, babygirl."

You'd practically melted down his front steps.

"THERE'S MY FAVORITE SLUT!!" you suddenly hear someone shout, and you look up to see Tasha at the sliding doors, bags dropping to the ground as she sprints at you head on and collides with you seconds later, wrapping her arms around you tightly.

She's just the same as she was the last time you saw her, high spirited and excitable and sweet, practically vibrating in your arms with joy. Only she could rock a bright purple cowboy hat and sweatpants, not to mention the lime green flip flops.

"Oh my god," you gasp in her ear, hugging her back and spinning on the spot, "You're insane."

"I'M EXCITED!" she squeals, pulling away from you and clapping her hands together, "We're going out tonight!!! Together!!! For the first time ever!" She brings her hands up and places one on either side of your face, lips turning down into a pout, "My baby bird is leaving the nest," she sighs dreamily, shaking her head, "I never thought this day would come."

"Please get in the car," you laugh, popping the trunk and gesturing to her bags, "before I change my mind and send you back."

--

You give Tasha the complete run-down on Joel as you get ready at the Airbnb, updating her on everything that's happened since you'd last checked in. It feels so good to actually talk about it, not text or simply mull it over and over in your head. She gasps at all the right spots, makes ridiculous faces in the mirror as she curls her hair, nearly drops the curling iron on the floor when you tell her about this morning.

"AND YOU LIKED HOW IT TASTED?" she practically screams, running out of the room and then running back in like she has no idea what to do with herself, "Oh my god, you are down bad. Jesus Christ," she makes a face, "Sorry, I mean- uh, fuck."

"Tasha," you roll your eyes, "You can say Jesus Christ."

"I can?" her eyes widen and she sighs in relief, picking up the curling iron from the floor, "Thank god."

You're going clubbing tonight for the very first time; a night of dancing and cocktails and flirting and living out all the college dreams you still have yet to experience. You're a bit tentative about the flirting part though, a concept that floors Tasha immediately.

"You can't go clubbing and not flirt," she says with faux shock, spinning in front of you as she assesses her dress in the mirror, "It's the best part!"

"I have a-" you cut yourself off, making a face at your reflection.

"You do not have a boyfriend," Tasha says immediately, "There has been no definition, babe. You need to keep reminding yourself of that."

"But it's not just fucking," you argue with a grimace, "I mean, it's not even fucking at all, we still haven't taken that step yet."

"I know, I just don't want you to get your heart hurt, honey," she frowns, leaning toward the mirror and applying some lipstick, "Boys are mean."

"Well, Joel's not a boy," you say quietly, fingering the hem of your own dress, a short and cute pink number that Tasha had brought specifically for you to wear, "He's a man."

"Mmhm, so you keep telling me," she raises an eyebrow, "I think I need to see this man for myself. Give you my honest opinion, see if he's really this gorgeous, perfect hunk you make him out to be."

You bite your lip, trying not to smile as you think back to this morning, how he'd looked in the early morning light, naked and sleepy and beautiful. And all yours.

"He is," you murmur softly.

--

You're supposed to be going clubbing, supposed to be out dancing and drinking cocktails and living out all your college dreams for once in your life. But where are you instead?

"O'Neil's!!" Tasha says excitedly, pointing to the red neon sign outside the bar you've just arrived at, throwing you a shit-eating grin that just makes you playfully roll your eyes.

You never should have told her the name of the bar Joel frequents, because she's now made it her mission to find him, get a good look at him and judge for herself if he's really all you're making him out to be. It's your own fault, you suppose, considering that you don't have any pictures of him or any frame of reference to articulate exactly the way he looks. For Tasha he's shrouded in mystery, but not for much longer.

Your ears are already ringing when you get inside the bar, the chatter and buzz of other people's conversations flooding your thoughts. You're not used to being out like this, being around drunk people or high people or literally anyone whose ideal night out is spending time at a bar. It's nerve-wracking and you instantly feel like a fish out of water, gripping onto Tasha's arm after showing your ID to a man who ogled both of you way more than he needed to.

"So this is where he hangs out," Tasha says, assessing her surroundings and leading you towards the bar where most people seem to be gathered, "Quaint. Little divey. Definitely not for our crowd but hey, we're learning new things tonight." She taps the counter and tilts her head toward the bartender with a smile, "Watcha got on tap?"

You wrinkle your nose, "I thought we'd be having cocktails."

"Oh we will at the club, don't you worry. But if we want the authentic dive bar experience, beer is necessary," the bartender lists the options and Tasha orders, though you barely hear what either of them are saying over the loud music and conversations. Your eyes scan the bar for any sign of Joel, but people are packed so tightly in here that it's hard to really see anybody, faces and bodies melding together.

The bartender hands Tasha the drinks and she throws him a wink, "Thank you, darling."

You envy how easily she navigates a situation like this, so natural and graceful despite her surroundings that are anything but. She hands your beer to you with a smile and holds hers up in front of her, tilting it toward yours until they clink.

"To you finally coming out with me," she toasts with a grin, "It's about damn time."

You smile back and take a sip, trying your hardest not to wince at the bitter flavor. It's not like you've never tried alcohol before, you just already know that you hate beer.

"Delicious," you lie, and Tasha just laughs and gestures toward a suddenly empty booth in the corner of the room.

"Let's sit there while we suss him out," she mutters to you, pulling you along with her and slipping inside, "Now, what's he look like? You've been pretty vague about those details." She waggles her eyebrows, "Be honest, is he bald?"

You almost spit out your second sip, shaking your head furiously, "No, he's not bald. Full head of hair."

She puts her hands up in defense, "Hey, it's not that crazy to assume!"

You just shake your head and laugh, turning back toward the bar and the people and trying to get a gage on where he might be. You know he usually comes here with his contracting crew, but what the hell does a contracting crew even look like?

"Help me out, gimme a description!" Tasha says eagerly, wiggling in her seat a bit and following your gaze, "He has facial hair, right?"

"Yes, it's kinda messy and scruffy," you bite your lip, squinting a bit as if that'll help you.

"And what's his hair color?"

You don't look at her as you reply, "Um.. grey."

Tasha's hand slaps down on the table and you jump, eyes going wide as you turn back to her, "What?"

"Grey? Girl, how old is he?" she doesn't sound angry or judgmental - she sounds intrigued. And almost... impressed? You gnaw on your lip, scrunching your eyebrows together as you look back toward the crowd of people.

"Um... he's..." you stop short, freezing when your eyes land on a familiar shirt near the bar, a red and black plaid button down that you'd seen only hours ago, "There! He's there!" You point at him quickly, ducking your head a bit and motioning for Tasha to lean in closer to get a good look.

"Oh... my god," she breathes, and you feel a rush of pride at her response, unable to stop the grin from plastering itself to your face as you peer at him.

There's something different about him that you can't place - maybe it's just because you haven't seen him in a public place like this, aren't used to what he looks like when it's not just the two of you. You try to put your finger on it, and while you're doing so he does something that makes your heart positively swell in your chest.

He smiles. That beautiful crooked smile that pulled you in the day you met him, set your skin on fire and brought you to the point of no return. Those crinkly eyes, the grey in his beard, the softness of his eyes, they send that familiar feeling of safety rushing through your bones. And you realize there's nothing different about him at all. That's your Joel, sitting on a bar stool after a long day of work, nursing a glass of whisky and chatting about his day. He's the same Joel who you'd woken up with this morning, just in a different setting.

You're so distracted by his rugged beauty out in the open like this - overwhelmed by his charm and his smile - that it takes you a few seconds to see who exactly he's smiling at.

You feel your heart in your throat.

There's a woman sitting beside him. Not just beside him, but so close their stools are touching, so close her legs - long and lean and beautiful - are brushing his. It's not subtle the way her ankle moves against his calf, up and down, up and down. She's wearing jean shorts and a halter top, skin dark and gorgeous and exposed in all the right places, beautiful brown braids cascading down her back and shoulders. You can't see her face but you already know she could be a model. She probably is.

No. No, something isn't right.

Maybe it's not him.

Time feels like it's frozen, like everyone in the bar has stopped moving except the two of them, like a giant spotlight is shining directly on where they sit, where they touch, where they smile at each other. Because it is him. It's him in all his gorgeous Joel glory, peering into the eyes of a woman who isn't you, a woman who's probably more his type, closer to his age, a woman who's somehow making him smile like that when she shouldn't. That's how he smiles at you. That's your smile.

A woman who's now leaning in for a kiss.

No. Please no.

A woman who he kisses back.

This isn't happening. This isn't real. This is just some sick and twisted nightmare you're about to wake up from at any second.

His hand comes up to cup her face.

"I'm gonna throw up," is all you manage to gasp out to Tasha as you yank yourself from the booth and sprint out of the bar, hand splaying across your belly as you bend over and release the contents of your stomach all over the sidewalk.

You feel Tasha's hand on your back, pulling your hair behind your ears. She's saying something but you don't understand it, ears continuing to ring despite being outside in the cool air, away from the loud music and chatty conversations, away from them.

"Oh honey," you finally hear her say, soft and kind as she rubs circles into your back, a comforting action that brings no comfort to you, not now, not after what you've just seen. "I'm so sorry."

[rafesapologist]

the set up — rafe cameron

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: you've been one of the pogues since childhood, and your loyalty has always lied within your friend group, who is practically your family. when a threat by the name of rafe cameron begins to threaten the pogue's plans, they assign you to gain the trust of the dubious kook and keep an eye on what he's up to. however, now it's been six months since your friends set you up to spy on the kook prince himself, but what you didn't anticipate was to fall head over heels for the boy. your relationship had soon become inviolable shortly after your guys' first exchanges, much to your friends' dismay, and you two became practically inseperable. that was, until rafe discovers the truth.

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴(𝘀): angst, cussing, mentions of alcohol use, some mentions of violence

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: she's a bit of a long one so bare with me. there will likely be a part two!

It was 9 o'clock at night and your phone was abnormally barren and noiseless. Nightfall was creeping up on you before you knew it, distracted by the long day of galavanting at the chateau with your best friends'. On a typical day, by the time the sun was setting your boyfriend, Rafe, was eager to call you and maunder about his day. It never mattered what his schedule consisted of, whether it was golfing with topper and kelce, or working with his dad, he made it a part of his routine just to call you and hear your voice before the day was over.

However, this night was different. It was unusual for Rafe to not at least shoot you a text letting you know he wouldn't be calling for a bit, something he usually did when he was busy. Perhaps he was caught up in family matters with his dad and couldn't get to the phone? You thought. But it was still out of character for him not to find a way to contact you, even if it costed him being scorned by his dad.

You sat cross-legged at the foot of your bed, pondering. You began to feel an itching urge to text him and ask if everything was okay, but you hated feeling pushy and your pride was always one to get the best of you in most situations. The idea of texting Sarah soon came to mind and seemed like the best route to take without disturbing your boyfriend in the chance that he genuinely was extremely busy and couldn't get to the phone. You unlocked your phone and went straight to the iMessage app, immediately finding Sarah's contact and beginning to type out a quick message. But, before you hit send, your body began to feel hot and your hands went clammy. Your mind was beginning to get the best of you as it started to race with unnerving thoughts that clouded over your prior hopefulness. Despite how close you were with Sarah, you feared that if you were to ask her what Rafe was up to, she'd become aggravated at your nosiness. But by the growing hour, the urge to find out became overwhelming.

Your fingers shakily typed out a short, to-the-point message followed by them instantly hitting send.

*Y/N: hey, i haven't heard from rafe all day and i'm getting a little worried tbh. is everything okay??*

Your eyes flickered over the delivered message for what felt like a million times as you found it harder to sit still with the nimiety of anxiety coursing through your veins. Your foot tapped vigorously while you bit at your brittle nails. You couldn't seemed to get past the thought of something bad happening to the boy you loved so deeply, and the mere cogitation of the scenario made you feel sick to your stomach.

*SARAH: hey! that's odd. i have no idea, i haven't heard from anyone. maybe stop by my house and see what he's doing? i know wheezie is there, she'll let you in :)*

You breathed out a sigh of relief at her response, thanking the girl mentally for providing you some sort of response, although clarity was not fully provided and the answer as to what was up with Rafe still remained undetermined. But Sarah's message was enough solace to muster up the strength to head over to the Cameron's household, hoping with everything inside of you that your boyfriend was in there. Enough time had passed to where you didn't even care if it was just him ignoring your texts, you just needed to know if he was alright.

After a brief interval of stalling out of pure apprehension, you finally coaxed yourself into driving over to the Cameron's estate. Your legs sped down the stairs hurriedly, making your way passed the coat rack as you snatched the car keys off of it before sprinting out the front door without acknowledging your parents who watched you exit the house with an alarming haste. Their attempts to call out to you and ask where you were going went ignored as you were too focused on one specific thing - Rafe. You wanted to get to him, you needed to get to him.

The fifteen minute drive felt like two hours as you sped to your boyfriend's house, so eager to locate him that you barely realized the speed that you were going down residential areas. But you couldn't care less about anything else than the boy that was prominent in your mind, the one that you spent nearly every single day and night with over the last six months; some of the best in your life so far. Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you gave attention to the thought of losing Rafe, hating how vulnerable and manic you felt in that moment during the drive. Memories of the boy flooded through your thoughts, ones of him holding you as close as he possibly could while you two fell asleep entangled in one another, peppering soft kisses on your face and neck during early mornings just to wake you up because he knew how much you despised getting up before noon, and all the times he would go out of way just to make you happy. Everything about your relationship with Rafe was perfect, regardless of how much your friends' hated the fact that you were together, considering he was at the top of their enemy list.

Once the visual of the enormous white mansion came into view, your heart began to feel as if it was going to pop right out of your chest. Your foot nearly slammed into the floorboard as you raced onto the property's driveway, wasting no time to put the car in park and scurry up the steps that led to the front porch. With three swifts knocks at the door, you were quickly met with the familiar face of the beloved youngest Cameron sibling, Wheezie.

"Y/n! What are you doing here?" Wheezie questioned, a vaunting smile present on her freckled face.

"Hey Wheeze, have you seen Rafe anywhere? I haven't heard from him all day." You confessed timidly while you attempted to keep a calm composure around the adolescent girl, fearing that you'd alarm her if you expressed your true state of distress.

A noticeable frown grew on Wheezie's face in response to your inquiry, which automatically planted a nauseous feeling at the pit of your stomach. Her eyes averted from your gaze and fell to the ground in avoidance to your burning gaze of worry, "Rafe is.. In the kitchen. He got home a few minutes ago, but I feel like I should warn you before you go see him." She admitted diffidently with her stare still pinned at the ground just before your feet.

"What is it, Wheezie?" You catechized due to her visible hesitancy, a state you had only seen the young girl in once when she witnessed Rafe in a yelling match with is dad, one that nearly resulted in him hitting Ward straight in the face.

"He doesn't look very good, Y/n. When he came home he.. He looked like he was on something and he had blood on him. His eyes were all bloodshot, too. I've never seen him this angry before, I think something happened. I don't know what's gotten into him." Wheezie admitted hastily, displaying a sense of urgency that sent goosebumps across your chilled body.

"Okay, okay, it's alright, Wheeze. Just listen to me," you crouched down to meet her height, gripping onto her shoulders with a light squeeze, "go upstairs and close your door. Turn a movie on or play some music, yeah? Just promise me you'll stay in there until I come get you, okay?" You asserted earnestly with your first priority to remove the innocent girl who had fear plastered all over her face. She simply nodded in reply to your request, wasting no time before turning around and heading up the stairs. You waited until you heard the sound of a door closing before stepping foot into the household, your feet feeling like a ton of bricks as you approached the kitchen with caution.

Upon entrance, you were met with the sight of an extremely disheveled Rafe, worse than you had ever seen him before. His eyes were glossy and accompanied with a bloody red appearance over his scleras. Your eyes trailed down to the noticeable blood splatters stained onto his grey polo, an observtion that took the air out of your lungs and your mouth go dry.

"Rafe?" You mousily called out to the fretful boy that was pacing the kitchen while he ran his fingers through his hair in distress. The sound of your soft voice cause his body to come to a halt, freezing in place with his back still turned to you. The sound of a dry, menacing laugh erupted from your boyfriend's throat that broke the defeaning silence in the air. Your eyebrows furrowed, sensing that his hostility may be aimed at you.

"What do you want?" Rafe subtly scoffed in response, still refusing to turn around and look at you.

"I came to make sure you were okay," you spoke up with a timorous voice, "I was worried cause I haven't heard from you." You folded your arms as you stood in place, displaying an evidence lack of confidence in your body language.

"As if you care." He spun around which took you by surprise, getting a better look at the state of disarray he was truly in. The bags under his eyes painted a deep shade of bluish-purple as though he hadn't slept in the last 24 hours. To make matters worse, dried blood was present on his mouth and chin, seemingly from the laceration of an open wound on his bottom lip. You shivered once you noticed how his normally soft features were replaced with a look of anger and resentment.

"What are you talking about? You know how much I care about you, Rafe." You stated, defending your point as he seemed to question your fidelity towards him.

"Cut the bullshit, Y/n! Haven't you lied to me enough? Aren't you tired of keeping up with all these lies?" Rafe squinted his eyes down at you, pointing at you in an accusatory manner that made you flinch. He had never been aggressive with you, far from it. Truth be told, it frightened you to see him like this, especially with the stench of alcohol exuding from him potently.

"Rafe.." you squeaked, feeling small and powerless under his tall stature, "You're scaring me. I don't know what you're talking about. You need to calm-"

"Our whole relationship has been a fucking lie, Y/n! Even down to the moment we met, you and your little piece of shit Pogue friends had this all planned out. I bet you've told them every single thing I've told you, I fucking trusted you! I should've known you Pogues were no good. All you guys do is stick your noses in places they don't belong." Rafe spat at you causing you to stumble back from him some, your back hitting the wall as he cornered you against the wall.

"You can thank your beloved 'friend' JJ for telling me. Boy's got a mouth on him," Rafe snickered as he shook his head in disbelief as he recounted his interaction with the blond Pogue, "ran into him at the golf course and he was running his mouth as usual. Guess I pissed him off so much that he blurted your guys' whole plan out, trying to get a reaction out of me or whatever. Got the shit beat out of him instead." He snarled.

Tears formed in your eyes at the revelation of Rafe finding out about the foolish plan you and your friends came up with months ago. They were always suspicious of the unpredictable Kook, rightfully so, but their mistake was setting you up to gain the rapport of the unknowing boy, who couldn't help but to melt at the sight of you. It was an easy operation, with Rafe falling under your spell within the first three weeks of meeting. But, what they didn't anticipate was you falling for him just as much.

He scoffed again, interrupting your fit of choking sobs, "No, don't cry. Do not stand here with that look on your face like you're the victim in this. You have no idea, y/n, no idea what it did to me when I heard that, and from all people, JJ fucking Maybank."

"Rafe, please-"

"Stop! Stop," Rafe's voice began to break as his words trembled in sorrow, tears escaping his azure eyes, "I loved you, y/n. So much. Never in my life have I opened up to someone, gave someone so much, as I have to you. Every damn day I woke up, only wanting to talk to you. You were always the first thing on my mind, first thing in the morning, last thing at night. You.. You were everything to me, and to think this whole time it's been some fucking sick game to you. Running back to your worthless Pogue friends that are nothing but trouble. How could I be so stupid? Trusting a fucking Pogue like you." His words put wounds in your chest and tore at your heart from the pure hatred for you that exuded from them. You never imagined you'd be at the other end of Rafe's spiteful outbursts at the end of it all, but there you were, looking up at him with a cold look in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Rafe. I'm sorry, okay? I know that doesn't fix this but I didn't plan for this to happen. I told them it would only be a month and I would be done, but then I fell in love with you. I didn't spend all that time with you because of them. Our agreement was only-"

"Our agreement," he scoffed at your words, "do you hear yourself? You're unbelievable. You think that makes me feel better? Oh, you were only supposed to manipulate me for a month? How generous of you." Rafe mocked back at you, the high levels of alcohol in his system causing him to slur his words some.

"I-I know, I know that nothing I say will make this better. I know that you'll never trust me and you'll hate me forever after this, but I'm so sorry, Rafe. I didn't mean for this to happen." You looked up at him with sincerity, a pleading look in your eyes.

"I don't hate you. That's the fucking problem." He muttered.

"What?" You questioned, confused at his admission.

"I don't hate you, y/n. Believe me, I wish I could right now, but I don't. You think after everything we've been through that I could just hate you like that? That easy? Y/n, you're the love of my life. Don't you get that? I wouldn't be in the state I'm in right now if I didn't love you. I don't know what to do, and I'm at a war with myself because one part of me needs you, and the other can't even stand to look you in the eyes right now." Rafe sighed as he combed a hand through his dirty blond hair. His harsh demeanor was beginning to slip as his features softened and was replaced with an appearance of sadness and void. It was clear that the boy was completely shattered, and it broke your heart. Your mind began racing in that moment, unsure of really what to do in order to comfort the heartbroken boy. Do you leave him be and rip the bandaid off? Was that too cold of you to do? Or were you supposed to hold him and tell him that everything was going to be alright, despite the uncertainty that things would be.

"Rafe.." Your words trailed off as you watched Rafe's bloody lip begin to tremble. He closed his glossy eyes at the sweet sound of your voice, only hurting him more to realize that he'd miss that beautiful noise. He hated how much he craved you, how much he needed you, because he told himself a million times than he could never trust you again after JJ's confession. But he couldn't bring himself to push you away, although you put him in the position he was in. Hurting him worse than anyone has in his entire life.

"I don't wanna think about it right now, okay? I can't.. I can't stand the thought of waking up without you, y/n. I mean call me fucking crazy, but fucking hell, I still love you. I don't know what's wrong with me." Your boyfriend broke down in sobs, tears streaming down his bruised face.

"There's nothing wrong with you, Rafe. You didn't deserve this." You shook your head at his insecurity, assuring him that none of this was on him.

"Please stay with me tonight, we can talk about this in the morning or whatever, but please." Rafe pleaded, looking down at you with a pitiful look on his face that made your heart swell. His hand was placed at your waist, with a fistful of your shirt in his grip, pleading to your with full sincerity.

"Of course I will."

[bouncybongfairy]

Literally love you, hope you're taking requests! Could you do the bayverse boys with a goth stoner?

Smoke Sesh

TMNT x Fem Goth Stoner Reader

Summary: After ditching class for a smoke break, you're approached by two men with bad intentions. The TMNTs help you escape the alleyway you're cornered in, you guys have a smoke sesh in their van.

Word Count: 1.0k+

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

It was second period and the monotone voice of your English teacher was putting everyone to sleep. Even the teacher wasn’t into it, just reading aloud from the book while sitting at her desk. Not even bothering to look up as she did so. You picked up your bag before quietly walking out of the classroom. As long as you were quiet, the teacher didn’t care or notice if anyone left. There were a couple of security guards that you had to pass, you would feed them an excuse about going to the nurse’s office and usually, they bought it. As you walk past the front gates of your school, you pull your black cardigan closer to your body. You didn’t realize it was so cold outside, your nose was becoming sensitive and runny. Stopping in a narrow alleyway between two apartment buildings, you rummage through your bag.

Your older sister woke up late for work this morning and was only able to take a couple of puffs out of the blunt she rolled before leaving. You took advantage of this and hastily threw it in your bag before leaving. Luckily it wasn’t bent or damaged to the point of being unsmokeable. After you finally find the lighter you put it into your blunt and take the first drag. It was like you could feel the weed pushing the anxiety out of your body. The rain was getting heavy but it didn’t bother you one bit. Not only were you being kept dry from a fire escape above you, on colder days, but your make-up also lasted much longer because it wasn’t exposed to extreme heat. You were wearing a long black maxi skirt and a thin long-sleeve, both in black; along with black riot boots. Not being able to resist, you take a couple of pictures. 

“I bet those pictures came real nice,” a voice growled from the left of you. You jumped and whipped your body to see who spoke. Feeling your heart drop into your stomach, you slowly start to back up; trying to gain as much space between each other.

“Oh, my dad is actually about to pick me up, I have to go,” you lied as you began to walk away, you were walking backward because you were scared to turn your back to him.

“So soon, I’m sure you can be a little late,” the creep said, starting to charge you. As he did so you turned but were stopped by a truck that broke directly in front of you. 

“Get in,” one of the passengers said as the sliding door rolled open. You didn’t even look at who was in the vehicle, you were so desperate to get out of the current situation that you didn’t think twice. You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down but it was hard considering the severity of what could have happened. After a few moments and tears, you looked up and realized who was in your company. When you saw the turtles you passed out momentarily. When you came to, one of them was fanning you. You immediately sat up but Donnie asked you to calm down. 

“Woah woah, don’t sit up too fast. You had a vasovagal response which means you lost consciousness due to a lack of blood flow to the brain. You are totally okay though and your vitals are normal. Did anything happen in the alleyway that might cause you to need medical attention?” Donnie said, lifting his goggles up so you could see his eyes. 

“No, I’m just shaken up a bit,” you said, sitting up on a seat in the back of the van. 

“I’m sure, glad everything turned out okay,” Donnie said. 

“Yeah because you’re way too hot to die,” Mikey said, plopping down next to you.

“Mike! Sorry, he has impulse control issues,” Raph said as he drove. 

“Dude! Don’t say that in front of my new hot, spooky, witch girlfriend,” he whispered, blocking your view of his mouth in an attempt to stop you from seeing what he said. 

“Is it okay if I smoke in here,” you asked? The van got quiet, the boys looking around at each other without saying anything. 

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” Leo said.

“I don’t know, she just went through a traumatic thing. If she’s used to smoking then maybe she needs it to help her calm down, you know?” Mikey said. 

“What about contact high?” Raph asked. 

“Technically the effects would not be significant unless she was blowing the smoke directly in your face or the car filled with a dense enough smoke,” Donnie explained. 

“So is that a yes?” you asked, putting the blunt into your mouth and waiting for a response before lighting it. 

After nobody disagreed you lit it again and took a drag, you laughed when you noticed that they were all looking at you. They looked away for a second but it didn’t take long before all their eyes were on you again. At this point Raph parked the van and opened the windows. You were making subtle conversation, asking them if they ever smoked before. As expected, they all haven’t and were surprised when you offered them the blunt. Mikey went to grab it without hesitation and Leo stopped him. After a little persuasion, Mikey grabbed it and took a drag. The blunt in your hand was still pretty big but in his hand it looked like a tiny little twig. He immediately started coughing which made his brothers look around in a worried way. The effects were immediate and he started laughing and joking more than usual if that’s possible. This hummored his brothers, lightening the mood of the situation. 

“I just want to thank you guys again for saving me from that situation,” you said again, putting out the roach. 

“No worries girl, I'd always be there for my goth girlfriend,” Mikey said, wrapping his arm around you. 

“I appreciated that,” you joked back, giving him a kiss on his cheek; leaving a black lipstick mark.

[wifeofnatasharomanoff]

Jealous/possessive Nat. Maybe she leaves y/n willingly for a few years on a mission which breaks y/n heart but when she finally comes back, y/n is sleeping with kate/Wanda or even better Yelana so Nat makes a point of claiming what is hers. Nat doesn't share what is hers.

If you're comfortable, make it smutty af as well please

Jealous Girl

WARNINGS: break ups, 18+ themes, jealousy, slight toxic!nat, strap-on use (reader receiving), fingering (reader receiving), thigh riding (reader receiving), degradation, daddy kink

WORDS: 3,108

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x f!reader, fwb Wanda Maximoff x f!reader

A/N: a lovely ask from a lovely anon, after this hopefully i will be updating my series! @daddynattt i better see you in a pink hoodie 🙄

She loved you. Loved. Loved? Love is for children. She loved you enough to let you go. Was that enough? Was letting you go enough? She was a fucking liar. She lied to herself, and to you.

It was a cold winter night in January. You and your girlfriend sat in your room in the Avengers compound, surrounded by blankets and pillows. A comfortable silence in the room, you could hear faint police sirens from afar. A light glow in the dark room came from your open window. Your hand ran through her soft red hair, her head on your lap. A blanket draped over the both of your bodies. It seemed perfect. Almost seemed perfect.

“Babe?”  you hummed as a response, taking the hands that were once stroking her hair away. “Yeah? What is it Natty?”  the comfortable silence growing uncomfortable by the second, “can we talk?” what? What did she mean by that? You felt your anxiety spike at those 3 words. “What do you mean? I– we're talking right now Natasha.” your words follow with a nervous laugh.

“Y/N.” her tone was rather serious. You've never heard her this serious in your entire relationship before. It scared you. Oh, how it scared you so very much. “y-yeah what is it?” she could almost hear the fear in your voice. Almost wasn't enough. Were you not enough? “I have a mission soon.” was that it? Hopefully, it was. “oh! Is that all? I thought it was something serious.” your palms get clammy, and you were quick to wipe them off with your shirt. Your lap felt lighter as she took her head off of it.

Her gaze towards you seemed so empathetic that it made you feel pathetic. She sighed, holding onto your wrists as she spoke up. “Detka the mission is over 6 months long.” you lock eyes with her. Her beautiful green eyes, the soft gaze that was there just a while ago changed to a dark one. “So..?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. “Look I'm trying to say that this can't happen between us. We.. we can't happen.” fuck. God no. Why is this happening? She loves you. She does. You've been together for 4 years, why is she doing this?

“w–why do you think that..? You've been on missions before Natasha! What's wrong this time?” did those 4 years not matter to her? Did you not matter to her? She just had to go. Didn't she know that you love her? Did she not care? Why must she do this to you? Did she not love you like how you love her? Was this relationship all a lie?

“I just think it's best if we take a break baby.” you felt tears prick your eyes, blurring your vision. You couldn't tell if you were angry or sad. “Natasha..” her grip on your wrists loosen, “Nat just get out.” she seemed surprised at your words. Did she think you'd beg for her to stay? If she didn't want you, what would begging do? She made up her mind. It's not your fault you want her to stay. “Y/N–” your gaze lowered itself onto your hands, looking everywhere but at her. “Natasha, please. Get out.” she sighed and got off the bed. “Goodnight detka.” you couldn't bring yourself to say goodbye back. The tears spilled from your burning eyes as soon as she stepped out of the room. She left you. And you couldn't do anything about it.

“You're doing so well malysh..” she coos, gripping your waist as you rode yourself against her thigh. Your moans and whimpers were heard throughout the bedroom. You were tightly holding onto her shoulders. “Wanda fuck.” your breathing labored as you were reaching an orgasm, “what is it sweetheart?” she flexed her thigh. Fucking hell. “Please. I'm so close Wands..” your juices were dripping down her thigh and onto the bedsheets.

“Let go dorogaya.. make a mess all over my thigh.” you dig your nails into her shoulders, leaving behind crescent shaped marks. “ohh my God–” you came all over her, your cum spilling onto her thigh and probably drenching the sheets as well. She chuckled, pressing her forehead to yours, “that was hot.” she admitted, watching how your breasts were pressed up against her body. “Sorry about your sheets Wands.” you say, looking down at her dampened bedsheets.

“It's okay Y/N/N, wanna stay the night?” you think on that question for a few seconds. “Sure, why not.” she kisses your cheek before laying down on the bed, pulling you down with her.

It was summer now, 6 months quickly passed by since she left you. She was still away at her mission. Sometimes you wondered why she even chose such a long mission. But eventually, you stopped wondering. She left you. End of story... Right? January soon became July, the cold breezes in the air soon became warm. Your love for her? You didn't know. She hurt you. You felt as if your heart shattered in a million pieces. Did she not care about that? She promised. Did she lie? “moya lyubov I could never hurt you like they did. I promise.”

The room's atmosphere was warm and quiet. Slight noises could be heard from the fan. It was a bit quiet outside tonight, it was dark out but you could hear birds chirping in the distance.

You sighed into her hold, nuzzling your chin against the crook of her neck. “Goodnight Wands.” she kissed your forehead, “goodnight dorogaya..” you two quickly fell into a deep slumber. You breathed softly in your sleep, and Wanda lightly snored.

January 21st was the day she broke up with you. The date tonight was July 20th. She's supposed to come home tomorrow morning. Supposed to. You didn't want anything bad to happen to her. You just didn't want to see her so soon.

Was that so bad? You were sure she didn't want anything to do with you either. So why must she come here first instead of debriefing at SHIELD? Why did you have to see her so early? She didn't love you. You were wrong all along. Were you?

You woke up the next morning being absolutely crushed by Wanda. “Wands– get off of me, I can't breathe.” she looks down at you from under her, “oops?” she said with a chuckle as she got off of you. “Oops?! Wanda? You bitch.” you giggle and shove a pillow at her face. The fun didn't last long as the both of you were called in the lounge room.

“You called?” you asked Tony, “yeah, your girlfriend is back from the mission or whatever. Thought you'd wanna know, y'know?” he said, looking up at you from his laptop screen. “My girlfriend? Who?” he raised a brow in confusion. “Red hair? Russian? A bit mean sometimes.” you laugh slightly, “ohh, yeah no. She broke up with me right before her mission.” he widened his eyes in shock. “Nobody ever tells me shit in this god damn place.”

“Y/N?” you turn to look at the familiar voice calling out your name. “oh, hey Nat.” you say before walking back to Wanda's room. “Y/N wait–” you quickly ran into her room and closed the door shut. Your heart was racing. You didn't think for one second that you'd see her after all those months, standing there and calling out your name. “Malysh? What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining but–” you grab onto her wrists, and place her hands on your waist. “Touch me. Wanda please.” she hums, gripping your skin harshly. “What happened sweetheart?” you whine against her touch, slowly backing up to the edge of the bed.

Why did she have to come back? Was breaking up with you not enough? Did she want to hurt you more? You were so done with it. Yet you weren't. “It's Natasha..” you choked back a sob, desperately clinging onto her shoulders. “oh.. I'm sorry Y/N.” she peppers kisses onto your neck, and pushes you onto the bed. “What do you want me to do? hm?” you sigh, “mark me. Leave marks please. I–” she smirks. “wanna make her jealous? Make her mad?” you nod, clutching her wrists as she bites onto your neck, sucking on your soft sensitive spot. “Wanda..” you moan out her name and gasp softly as she brings a hand up to take off your bra. She unhooked your bra and slid it off your chest. “Just marks? Nothing else?” you nodded.

“Thanks, Wands.” you laugh, taking a look at the many marks she had left on you in the mirror. A few on your neck, your collarbone, and the upper area of your breasts. “No problem, what are friends for?” she chuckles, putting her rings back on. “Fucking?” you giggle, burying your face into her shoulder. “Just kidding Wanda, you're the best.” she smiled and kissed the top of your head.

It was a bit past midnight, and you were attempting to sneak out of your best friend's room unnoticed. But as soon as you stepped out of her room, “Natasha! Hey.. there.” she cleared her throat, her eyes fixated on your neck and your hand on the witch's doorknob. “uh..” you sighed, closing the door. “okay..” you whispered and walked past her and made your way into your bedroom.

“What the fuck was that?” Natasha muttered to herself as she was walking into her room. Did you get with someone already? Was it Wanda? Were you with Wanda? She realized her mistake. She shouldn't have left what was hers. She should feel sad, despair even, that the love of her life that she willingly chose to leave had their eyes set on someone else. But no, she felt longing, a sense of need. A drive really, a drive for claiming. Claiming what belongs to her. You. She wanted you, and she's going to get what she wants. No matter what gets in the way. You're hers, and she'll have you.

That night she went to bed, her thoughts were contaminated by you. Your beautiful face, those soft, plump lips of yours. Your hands.. the way they'd clutch onto her muscular shoulders whenever she'd have her way with you. Your neck, the one littered with sinful marks just now. The way your hips would stutter upwards when she'd tease you. Your voice, the moans, and whimpers that would sneak past your mouth. Your cheeks all flushed, bright red, when she'd whisper something in your ear.

You groaned as the sunlight cracked through the blinds. “ugh.. why is it so bright?” you sat up on your bed, rubbing your eyes. “Wait– fuck I'm late for training.” you throw off the blanket and run into the bathroom to freshen up.

“Y/N..” the sight of you made her fall in love all over again. “let's just get training over with Natasha.” you sighed. She chuckled under her breath. You were trying so hard to seem unphased, how cute. “Your position is all wrong.” she rasped, oh fuck, how her husky voice still managed to make you completely weak in the knees. “I– I can do it myself!” she briefly pauses, contemplating on whether she should let you do it on your own or step in and help. “As your mentor, I can help.” she pressed her body against your backside and brought her hand to your arm.

“You need to raise your arm up..” she gently moved your arm upwards, putting your hands in a combat position. “You didn't need to ‘help’ me Natasha.” your words came out colder than you expected, Natasha smirked. Did you expect her to be upset? “yeah well,” her hands slid down from your shoulders and down to your waist. “I wanted to, so I am.” she squeezed your waist lightly. “Nat..” you were about to give it all up at this very moment. Taking off the mask that you put up to hide the love that you still had for her.

“..Are you in love with her?” she asked, slowly backing you to the wall. You let out a shaky breath, “why should it matter to you?” she sighed, holding your wrists back with her free hand. “Do you love me?” you froze for a split second. You did love her. But were you going to tell her? What if she– “y- yes. I do love you..” but why? She hurt you. She'll do it again. You were sure of it. “I love you too. I'm so sorry detka.” she admitted, pushing you against the wall. A soft gasp escapes your mouth when your body harshly makes contact with the wall.

As much as you didn't want to admit it, the way you could tell she was packing when she pressed her crotch against the curve of your ass made arousal gush in between your legs. You flutter your eyes shut, “I'm sorry moya lyubov..” she whispered. Her slender fingers latched onto your pants and slid them off, leaving your panties on. “Tell me how much you love me Natasha.” you say, almost letting a moan out when her fingertips brush against your clothed clit. She hooked onto the hem of your underwear, slowly discarding them away.

“I love you so much. So much kotenok..” she lightly pressed her lips to your inner thigh, “so much.. I love you.” her words repeat over, and over like a chant. You almost wanted to believe her. “I know.. I know that I betrayed your trust baby but, please. Let me make it up to you.” you melted into her touch, lolling your head back. Her touch was different from Wanda's. It was gentle, but at times she would be rough. Her hands grazing against your thighs, your waist, your neck.. it sent your skin ablaze. It was heavenly, so good it was sinful. You would almost risk it all for her touch, just for one moment. She peppered light, feathery kisses up to your uncovered pussy. “Please.. Natasha please.”

“You're so beautiful.. ” she lightly bit down on your neck, “I missed you so much baby girl.” she mumbled against your burning skin. You exhaled shakily, a soft smile displayed on your face. “I missed you too Natty, s- so much..” the need for her was unbearable, you couldn't stand it, just her voice itself made you go insane. “mhm?” she slowly brought her hand in between your thighs. She chuckled when she noticed your slick inner thigh, wetness running down your legs. She dipped in a finger into your soaking cunt. Your spongey walls immediately clenched onto her finger. “Fucking hell. You're so tight detka.” she pumped her finger in and out before sneaking in a second finger. You squeak out a moan, your hands clutching at her back, your arms draped over her shoulders. “mmn..” she brought her lips to yours, pulling you in for a sloppy kiss. You whine against her lips, her fingers still moving inside of you.

You couldn't tell if you wanted her to stop or needed her to keep going. She got back up and pinned you against the wall once more. “Please what? do you want daddy to fuck you?” a slutty whimper escapes your mouth when you feel her hot breath against your skin. “Please.. daddy I need you.” she hums, tracing two fingers down your waist in a swift motion. Your hips stuttered upwards at her teasing, “God, you're dripping.. is this all for me?” you nod vigorously, hoping that'll answer her question. She pinched at your thigh, “who is it all for slut?” she asked again, “y–you! it's all for you daddy. please.” she smirked. “Look at me.” you turned around to face her. She grabbed your thighs, hoisted them around her waist, and pushed your back onto the wall.

She loved you enough to come back. She loved you enough to do this. Right? Oh, how she loathed anyone that would look your way. You were hers. But was she yours? You've never thought of it that way. You threw your head back against the wall in pleasure. Whatever she was to you didn't matter in this moment. A moment of pure bliss, whatever lies and deceits that were happening didn't matter.

“Baby let me fuck you properly..” she muttered against your lips, her hands clawing at your covered chest. “Please.. I need you.” she smiled and unbuckled her belt, taking out her faux cock. “Yeah? How bad kotenok?” you buck your hips onto the tip of her dick, wanting nothing more than her to be fully inside of you, “please.. please daddy I need to so badly.” you begged. Pathetic. That's what you were. Begging for the woman that didn't want you. She didn't want you, she wanted your body. Isn't that it? She didn't give you a proper apology, she just did what she always does. Fuck her mistakes away. She thought you'd forget about all her problems, the arguments just by touching you. But you remembered. You just couldn't leave her, she was everything to you. You loved her, but you wished you didn't.

She aligned the tip of the strap-on with your entrance and pushed a few inches into you. Eliciting lewd, slutty moans out of your mouth, “oh fuck daddy!” your nails dug into her back, and you were sure you left red marks on her skin. She grunted as she shoved completely into you, “take it, show daddy how much of a whore you are for her.” she said, thrusting in and out of your throbbing cunt. “Natasha.. oh my God–” you felt tears prick the corners of your eyes, blurring your vision as she fucked harder into you.

She loved you. You loved her. She– she loves you as much as you love her. Right? You wanted to believe that with all your heart. “Fuck- daddy ’m gonna cum!” you slur as she slammed into you. “Do it. Cum all over my cock detka, show me who you belong to.” with her words you did as told. You bit down on your lower lip as you came onto the silicone dick. “mmh– fuck- fuck Natasha!” her name repeatedly being moaned out of your mouth.

“I love you so much.. you did so well baby.” she kissed the side of your face, taking her hand up to your cheek to flick away your tears. “I love you too Natty..” you mumbled out breathlessly.

You loved her. She loved you. That's why she told you. “I love you.” those three words. She meant it. Right?

[finalovestory]

WITH A TASTE OF YOUR LIPS Kazuha x oc! Byun Jihyun

Word counts: 3.017K

Warnings: Mentions of get drunk, cursing and mentions of hate on Le sserafim Coachella.

Note: It's my first time writing and english it's not my first language. Hope u enjoy it!

Kazuha sighed in frustration, throwing her phone to the other side of the room. After her Coachella performance, hateful comments were everywhere, with numerous netizens and articles calling them a national disgrace.

This stressed her out immensely, as she had worked hard on the performance and thought she had done well. Seeing people publicly humiliate her like she was worthless was deeply depressing.

"Still reading the comments?" Yunjin asked, coming out of the bathroom and drying her hair with a towel, completely unconcerned with the shattered phone near her feet.

Kazuha ran a hand over her face, exhaling. "How can I not? Those bastards keep humiliating us, and there's nothing we can do."

"Breaking your phone won't solve anything. Stop being so hot-headed and find something to do until next weekend." She sat down on the bed.

Kazuha stood up, grabbing her coat and wallet with some aggression, then bending down to pick up her now broken phone.

"Where are you going?" Yunjin frowned, watching her.

"To get drunk and buy a new phone." She left, slamming the door behind her.

Carefully, she slipped into the hallway, running to the elevator without being noticed by any of their managers.

Getting past the lobby was easy, even though she noticed Sakura's curious gaze burning into her back.

"Zuha-yah!" Sakura shouted, running to catch up with the tall, quick-stepping ballerina.

Kazuha sighed, turning with a serious expression, unable to hide her tension.

"Where are you going alone?" Sakura asked, bending over and resting on her knees, panting.

"To buy a new phone." Kazuha ran a hand through her hair, crossing her arms.

"What happened to your old one? It was fine 20 minutes ago," Sakura asked, confused.

She pondered, searching for an answer that wouldn't make her seem like a crazed, emotion-driven lunatic (which she admittedly was).

"Yunjin unnie dropped it, and it broke," she lied, trying to sound as convincing as possible, and it seemed to work.

"Oh, then I'll come with you." Sakura pulled out her phone, quickly typing. "I'll take the opportunity to buy some snacks to cheer up Eunchae."

"Is she still crying?" Kazuha asked worriedly, remembering what had led to this torment and ultimately breaking her phone.

"Chaewon managed to make her sleep, but we don't know how she'll be when she wakes up," Sakura sighed, feeling sad.

"That's unfortunate," Kazuha said sadly, looking at the ground.

Seeing their maknae crying her heart out broke her. Eunchae had been so excited about this show, being so young and performing at such a big festival. Unfortunately, nothing went as planned, and the dream turned into a nightmare.

They walked side by side, Sakura talking about something Kazuha didn't really pay much attention to. Her mind was elsewhere, tormented by those comments and articles, unable to forget how much it had damaged her reputation.

"Are you listening to me?" Sakura suddenly stopped, looking seriously at Kazuha.

"Huh? Of course, unnie." She nodded firmly.

"Then where did I say we need to go first?" Sakura raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

Kazuha quickly glanced around, noticing a grocery store, and made up a lie.

"We'll go to the store and then buy a new phone." Despite sounding firm, she was filled with anxiety.

Sakura looked at her suspiciously before linking their arms and heading to the grocery store across the street.

"I'm going to get some drinks," Kazuha announced, heading to the freezer, and Sakura nodded, moving toward the snacks.

Kazuha carefully examined the fridge, looking for a drink that would ease her tension until she could shake off Sakura and get blind drunk.

"Zuha?" A very familiar voice made her turn her head quickly.

"Mina!" She smiled brightly upon seeing her friend, with whom she had spent years doing ballet. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?" She hugged her tightly, feeling her eyes water with the emotion of reuniting with her dear friend.

"I came to watch your show, but unfortunately, I didn't make it in time, so I practically wasted the trip," Mina lamented with a laugh.

"I'm just happy to have you here. Thank you!" She gave one last squeeze before pulling away. She wiped away a tear that had escaped down her cheek and smiled.

"My dear Ha-chan!" Mina smiled, looking at her fondly. "I'm so proud of you."

Kazuha thanked her, momentarily forgetting the chaos on the Internet. "I was thinking of distracting myself a bit. How about we check out Coachella?"

"I don't have a ticket for today, Zuha." Mina laughed awkwardly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

"I'm Kazuha from Le Sserafim. I don't need a ticket, Mina. Just come with me!" She grabbed her hand, glanced around to see Sakura distracted on her phone, and pulled Mina out of the store.

They ran as far as they could, only stopping when they reached a taxi stand.

"Are you crazy?" Mina laughed, coughing from the exertion. "Why didn't you tell Sakura?"

"She wouldn't let me do what I want to do," Kazuha replied, signaling for a taxi. She opened the door and looked at Mina, signaling for her to get in. "Trust me; there won't be any problems."

Mina hesitated but got into the taxi anyway. "I hope I don't regret this."

"Relax, just have fun." Kazuha smiled confidently.

After a few minutes on the road, they finally arrived at the big festival. Kazuha held Mina's hand as they went to the VIP area, got their credentials, and entered excitedly.

"Do you know who's performing today?" Mina asked, thrilled to be there.

"Doja Cat. It's still early for the show; what do you think about hitting the open bar first?" Kazuha suggested, already guiding her to the drinks area.

"We're not old enough to drink here, Kazuha," Mina said, making her friend roll her eyes.

"Sweetie, don't you get it yet? I'm Kazuha from Le Sserafim. I can do whatever I want." She held Mina by the shoulders, smiling smugly.

Mina noticed a different gleam in her friend's eyes. This wasn't the Kazuha who danced ballet with her; this was a completely different and slightly intimidating Kazuha. The shiver down her spine from that dark, penetrating look was very unsettling.

"I just need to go to the bathroom first, okay?" Mina forced a smile, and Kazuha nodded, guiding her to the nearest restroom.

Kazuha danced lightly to the music's rhythm, watching people pass by. Many performers passed by and waved, and she waved back, smiling and feeling relieved to have her friend to enjoy the night with.

Mina came out of the bathroom and smiled at her.

"This night is ours!" Kazuha draped her arm around Mina's shoulder, and they headed to the open bar together.

As she had said, they didn't need to prove their age and were able to drink freely. Kazuha downed shot after shot, not caring about the hangover she'd have the next day.

"Don't you think you should slow down a bit? You're drinking too much." Mina held her hand, stopping her from taking another shot.

"Mina, my group was humiliated by the Korean media. They're calling us the nation's disgrace and publicly insulting us for no reason. Eunchae has been crying since early this morning when she saw all the posts. She's too young to handle this. I feel like shit. I don't know how I'm going back to Korea next week or how they'll receive us." She vented, frustrated, her eyes welling up again. "I hate myself right now, and I don't care how much I drink. Don't stop me, please."

"Zuha, I have to tell you something." Mina sighed, gently stroking her hand. "When I was in the bathroom, I texted Sakura, and she's coming to get you soon."

"Dammit, Mina!" Kazuha punched the counter, standing up in anger. "I trusted you!"

"Sorry, Kazuha! I was just worried." Mina panicked, standing up.

"Screw you! Leave me alone!" She stormed off into the crowd.

She wove through the crowd, heading to the first show she found. She didn't even know who was on stage, but she could use the people to hide.

Pulling up her hood to avoid being recognized, she began to sway to the music, letting the vibe move her body. She loved the euphoric feeling, the alcohol having a significant effect on her brain.

A bit intoxicated, she started looking around and noticed a very bright smile. The dark-haired girl was dancing happily with another girl who seemed to be her friend. They were having so much fun that it brought a smile to Kazuha's face.

Suddenly, their eyes met, and Kazuha's world froze. Her heart began to beat strongly, feeling something totally new and very intense for a girl for the first time. It was more than a sexual attraction; it was a different but very pleasant feeling.

Kazuha exchanged looks with the beautiful girl dancing gracefully, staring back at her. She had never told anyone, but she was bisexual, and at the moment, she was having a bi panic over the girl who was looking at her in the sexiest way she had ever seen.

Elsewhere, Sakura and Yunjin were searching for Kazuha, extremely worried about their friend who might expose herself and cause significant problems.

“She must be going to Doja Cat's show, right? Mina said they were going to do that.” Sakura remembered, and the two of them ran towards the main stage.

"Where the hell did that crazy girl go?" Yunjin grumbled, irritated.

“Are you seriously flirting with that girl in the middle of Coachella?” Emma laughed, looking at her friend.

The girl bit the tip of her drink’s straw, staring intently at her crush. “Is there a better place to kiss girls without being judged?” She smiled, glancing at Emma.

“You’re impossible!” Emma laughed, shaking her head.

The exchange of glances continued until another girl approached the one Kazuha was interested in, hugging her from behind and whispering something in her ear.

Kazuha watched the scene with some curiosity, her eyebrows furrowed as she analyzed each intimate touch the other girl made. She thought she had lost the chance to kiss that beautiful girl but was surprised when they made eye contact again, and the girl signaled for her to follow.

Smiling widely, Kazuha maneuvered through the crowd and managed to find the girl who was heading in an unknown direction along with her friend, but that didn’t intimidate Kazuha, and she followed as if her life depended on it.

They stopped near the main open bar, the friend went to the counter, and Kazuha’s crush just waited for her to approach.

“I didn’t think you’d follow a stranger.” The girl smiled, and Kazuha melted at that beautiful smile.

“My mom told me to follow my dreams, and you’re one of them.” She licked her lips, staring intently at that pretty pink mouth.

“Your mom is very smart.” She crossed her arms, laughing slightly.

“How about we have a drink somewhere more private?” She smiled, offering in a more intimate tone.

“Privacy at Coachella? Seriously?” She raised an eyebrow, finding it very unlikely.

“There’s a big show now; I’m sure we’ll find a place.” She smiled confidently.

“Alright, I just need to take my friend back to our group, and I’ll be all yours.” She nodded and looked back, observing her friend still leaning over the counter.

Kazuha felt uncomfortable with the delay; she was anxious for what was to come and didn’t want to waste time. It took a while, but the girl finally left the bar with two drinks in hand and came over to them.

“The night promises, Chloe!” She hugged her friend by the shoulder.

“Can we go now?” Kazuha bit her lip anxiously.

“Sure!” She agreed, and the three of them headed back to the show.

The girl left Chloe with their other three friends, informing them she’d be taking a walk with Kazuha and would be back soon.

Kazuha looked around, searching for a less illuminated place with fewer people. She found a spot near the stage but well hidden, perfect for not being caught by anyone.

“Wow, we really will have privacy.” The girl smiled, sitting on top of a sound box that was there.

“You shouldn’t have underestimated me.” She said confidently, fitting herself between the girl’s legs, her eyes focused on those pretty lips.

The girl leaned in first, removing Kazuha’s hood and bringing her hands to her soft hair, gently caressing it. Kazuha closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, her hands resting on the girl’s slim waist, feeling a shiver with that intimate touch.

“Can I kiss you?” Kazuha asked, looking deeply into her beautiful eyes.

“You don’t need to ask. Just do it.”

Kazuha didn’t hesitate, giving a long peck on the lips before deepening the kiss by capturing her lower lip. The girl just smiled, being bold by asking for entrance with her tongue; Kazuha immediately made space and sighed deeply when their tongues touched, causing a great shiver.

The euphoric sensation made Kazuha feel sober, the kiss bringing feelings she had never experienced before. Their lips fit perfectly, as if made for each other, and moved in perfect sync. She couldn’t even remember why she was so irritated earlier; everything changed with this kiss.

The lack of air became apparent, and they pulled away to catch their breath. Kazuha kept her eyes closed while breathing heavily. The girl took the initiative to return to the kiss, making Kazuha smile before getting involved in that good sensation again.

They spent long minutes kissing, exchanging caresses and laughter. The moment was perfect until a cellphone started ringing. For a second, Kazuha froze, thinking it was hers, but felt relieved when she remembered it wasn’t even working.

“Sorry. I need to answer this.” She exchanged a few more small kisses with Kazuha before getting up and stepping away to talk on the phone.

Kazuha ran her hand through her hair, adjusting it and sitting on the sound box to rest her legs. She just watched, waiting patiently for the girl to return, which didn’t take long.

“I have to go back.” She sighed, looking unsatisfied. “I need to help my friend with some things.”

“Can’t you stay a few more minutes?” Kazuha made her best puppy face, making the girl laugh.

“I can’t, I even tried to negotiate for five more minutes, but that’s the time it’ll take for me to get to her, so…” She smiled slightly.

“Alright. We’ll have other opportunities, I won’t lose sight of you.” She got up, holding her hand. “I’ll be here next weekend too, we can meet again.” She gently caressed her hand with her thumb.

“Of course! I’ll be waiting eagerly for your arrival.” She nodded, smiling. “I really have to go.”

“I’ll walk you.” She intertwined their fingers, smiling.

The two of them walked, entering the crowd while looking in different directions for the girls. They were getting close to the exit, but there was no sign of them.

“Where did that bitch go?” The girl sighed, irritated, quickly typing on her phone.

“Hey, calm down!” Kazuha laughed, gently holding her face. Making her look into her eyes. “She’ll show up, relax.”

The girl smiled, quickly glancing at her phone to finish her message, and as soon as she sent it, she turned her attention back to Kazuha.

“Sometimes she annoys me a bit.” She laughed, putting her phone back in her pocket.

“I think you need something to calm you down.” She smiled mischievously, joining her lips to hers in a short, sweet kiss. “Feel better?” She asked, giving a little peck on her cheek.

“No, I think I’m still annoyed.” She pouted adorably, and Kazuha smiled widely, giving a few more sweet kisses on those pretty lips.

“Emma is going to kill me.” She laughed, holding Kazuha’s waist.

“She’ll understand, don’t worry!” She caressed her cheeks.

Kazuha was in paradise; for her, it felt like only the two of them existed at that moment. She even forgot she was famous and that it was very likely there would be hundreds of pictures of her kissing a girl the next day, but she couldn’t care less about that.

She was very happy exchanging kisses with the girl whose name she didn’t even know, feeling comfortable and free for the first time in many years.

But the joy of an LGBT person doesn’t last long. When she glanced away for just a few milliseconds, she noticed a certain red hair and a short Japanese girl she could recognize even by her shadow.

“Damn!” She muttered, desperately putting her hood back on.

“What’s wrong?” The girl asked, confused, gently squeezing Kazuha’s waist.

“I need to go! I’m sorry, I promise I’ll be back next weekend, okay?” She held her shoulders, maintaining intense eye contact. “You’re amazing, I’m sorry!” She gave a quick goodbye kiss and walked quickly towards Sakura and Yunjin, just wanting to take them away and end the night.

The girl was confused, watching her argue with two girls and laughing at how Kazuha looked like a stubborn child not wanting to listen to her parents. She really had no idea if the promise was true, not wanting to believe she’d have the luck to be with this woman twice.

“You bitch! I searched the entire Coachella trying to find you!” Emma’s angry voice pulled her out of her thoughts, and now she started arguing like a stubborn child.

Kazuha took one last look at where she had been but was disappointed when she saw no sign of the beautiful girl. This night would be unforgettable for both.

N/a: Thank u to read! I hope you really enjoyed it.

[jacksdinonuggets]

Writing request: Vaggie gets a bad stomachache and tries to hide it in fear of getting in trouble, but Charlie figures it out anyway and comforts her?

Tw: Vomitting

Notes: new Hc, Charlie sometimes slips into Mama/mommy headspace.

It had been about a year since Vaggie showed up in hell. It was very hard for her body to get used to hells atmosphere and she often had bad reactions to certain things. Charlie was really worried when Vaggie got sick whenever she made this certain type of food. So they came up with a list of items she could and couldn’t eat. It was very embarrassing for Vaggie. Mainly because she felt bad for making Charlie cut out a bunch of food from the grocery lists.

Vaggie stuck to a few foods for the rest of the year. It was boring and always made her feel bad for making Charlie eat this stuff with her. 

One morning, a couple of days after the extermination, Charlie brought home groceries. Since the extermination just happened, there wasn’t alot of food. However, when she was putting it away, Vaggie spotted one of the foods in the bag that she couldn’t eat. Demon cows milk. It had been a long time since they found out that she couldn’t drink it, so Charlie must’ve forgotten.

She was about to say something, but shut her mouth. There was no doubt that Charlie would feel really guilty. She would just have to deal with it. Besides, from what she remembers, it would either be a really mild reaction or a really bad reaction. Hopefully the demons milk was the mild one.

“I’m gonna make us some mac & cheese for lunch,” Charlie said with a smile, “We haven’t had it in a while but I can’t remember why.” 

She definitely forgot. Oh boy.

Vaggie waited on the couch, making small talk with Charlie as she cooked. Her anxiety constantly went up as she was getting closer and closer to being finished. She really wanted to tell her that she just wasn’t hungry but then she would ask questions because she hadn’t eaten that morning. 

Somehow, she ended up at the table with a bowl of very cheesy Mac & Cheese in front of her. There was obviously demons milk in the dish but she ignored her anxiety and took a spoonful. 

It was really good! It had been so long since she’s had it that she forgot how amazing it tasted. She gobbled up the whole bowl and even got some seconds. She was feeling really good! Until 10 minutes later.

The cramps started up in her stomach as she was hanging out with Charlie, coming up with more plans for the hotel. She tried not to wince everytime she moved. They started to get close to period cramp pain level. She was literally going through hell. 

However, she managed to hide it while they were working. Charlie didn’t suspect a thing! But when they sat on the couch to cuddle, she could just not get comfortable. Unconsciouly, she made a whimper.

“You okay?” Charlie asked, looking down at her girlfriend.

“Uh, yeah, my back is just hurting a little,” Vaggie lied.

“Oh. want me to give it a massage?” 

“N-no, I’m fine, its not that bad!” She tried to dismiss any concern.

“Alright, but if its gets worse or you need anything, I’m here for you” Charlie said, giving her a small kiss on her forehead. Vaggie looked up at her, refusing the urge to slip. Charlie was probably in her mama/mommy headspace or something. 

The more they cuddled, the more pain she felt. This was definitely not the mild pain. It felt like something was trying to dig out of her stomach. Then, the nausea started. She tried to rest her eyes, hoping that maybe a little nap might fix it, but it hurt too much to let her slip into unconsciousness.

It got so bad that she couldn’t hold back a small moan (not the sexual kind). It was just so painful and crampy. She constantly felt like puking.

“Baby? You sure you’re okay? You can tell me anything,” Charlie assured. Vaggie went to say something but knew if she opened her mouth, she would make a mess all over Charlie. So she got up and swiftly stumbled to the bathroom. 

As Vaggie began emptying her guts into the toilet, Charlie followed behind her. She held her hair back once she got to the bathroom, making sure nothing got messy.

“Shh, it’s okay, sweet baby,” She comforted vaggie. She knew that if she helped her feel small then it could possibly help the situation.

“I know, it feels awful but it’ll be over soon,” Charlie rubbed her back and gave her forehead a kiss.

Vaggie reached up to her hair to try and pull at it but Charlie quickly moved her hands away.

“No, Baby, we don’t hurt ourselves when we’re feeling upset. I don’t want to give you mittens but I will if you hurt yourself,” She held her hands firmly.

Luckily, Vaggie’s stomach seemed to finish emptying after a couple more heaves. The girl fell into Charlie, snuggling up against her. She gripped her shirt when more cramps rolled around in her stomach. 

“You feeling a little better?” she asked.

“Mhm…” Vaggie mumbled. Sure, she was still a bit crampy, but at least he nausea subsided.

“Lets get you changed into a soft diapy, and your favorite onesie. Then we can cuddle for the rest of the day,” Charlie said, slowly trying to pick Vaggie up. The girl couldn’t even argue.

Charlie brought her back to their room and laid her down on the bed before getting her changed into a soft onesie and nappy. She gave the girl her stuffy but not her paci, which Vaggie wasn’t very happy about.

“Wan paci…” She mumbled.

“Vaggie… You can’t. It’ll make you nauseous,” Charlie explained. 

“Bu’ I wan it!” she demanded.

“Sweetheart, no. I don’t want you to get sick again,” She tucked Vaggie under the covers.

“Hmph!” Vaggie pouted. The pouting was making her tummy hurt a little more but she fought through it.

Charlie climbed into bed with her to give some extra comfort. The reaction she had was very similar to something that had happened a couple months before. Then she realized what that reaction was from.

‘Oh. I gave her demons milk, didn’t i?’

She thought. 

The guilt was settling in but she refused to let it be known, as she wanted to focus on giving her little cuddles, rubs and pats, trying to make her as small as possible. Making Vaggie small was a gift that Charlie had. Usually, making her really small helped a lot with her mental health.

They cuddled until Vaggie needed a change. She wasn’t happy about getting a change as she wanted to cuddle more. But luckily, Charlie was quick and they got back to snuggle time.

[matthewmurdockswife]

Uncentered x Chris sturniolo

summary: The reader is dating Matt but what happens when he's not home and she has an anxiety attack?

Tw; anxiety attack

I felt it start the airway constricting, the suffocation from the inside like my thoughts are choking me themselves I sat there on the bathroom floor clawing at my throat begging for my life inside my head. pleading begging,crying for some kind of relief

Matt wasn't home. He was worried about leaving too he had a bad feeling I assured him I'd be fine I promised him I'd be okay for one night that he could go out for one night, and that there was no need for him to worry about me. 

I had lied

As I sat there trying to calm myself things only crumbled further apart That was when Chris came to check on me he had heard me fall to the floor minutes prior 

And that's how he found me a sobbing mess huddled against the cabinets on the floor unable to breathe and shaking erratically 

“Woah woah” I couldn't tear my head away from the spot on the floor I was fixated on it. Focused, on how the world was falling apart before me I didn't even hear Chris yell for Nick to grab me a glass of water. But I did feel his hand on my back rubbing it and soothing me from my aching thoughts his words pulling me out of the misery I was trapped in as I fell into his head resting on his chest trying to steady my breathing and stop my tears from flooding out once I had finally collected myself the first thing I did was reach out for Chris to hug him

“ I dont know what I would have done without you” I crooked out voice still damaged from the combination of the lack of air and sobbing maniacally 

“We dont have to worry about that” he hugged me tighter while Nick came over holding a few ibuprofen and a bottle of water for me Chris nudged me lightly to let me know to move so I could grab the stuff from Nick who had come to sit on the other side of me offering the items out to me 

“Thanks” I smiled weakly at him he smiled back and watched me take the meds 

“You feeling better” I nodded weakly at the brother “ wanna talk about it sometimes Matt likes to?” Chris offered “ I dont know what happened” I muttered barely audible “I'm glad you were here” I turned to face Chris smiling at him grateful for the brothers now more than ever Nick stood up outstretching his hand to me smiling down “cmon lets get you some icecream”

“I want sprinkles” Chris smiles at Nick earning an eye roll from the brother

When Matt did come home I was feeling much better sitting in the living room with the brothers watching SpongeBob I've never been so grateful to be a part of the family, they all look after one another and now me as well. 

taglist

@fenoy7

@dwntwn-strnlo

@stvrni0lo

[m-jelly]

Hey jelly! You write wonderfully! How about Single Dad! Levi x reader where Levi is a single father and about to introduce the girlfriend to his kid. Reader is in love with Levi so she is nervous because she want kid to like her. I'm sure it will be adorable

@kenkopanda-art <3

Hopeful family

Pairing: Dad!Levi x Fem!Reader

Genre and tags: Modern AU, dad Levi, adoption, little Mikasa, fluff, meetings, being a couple.

Concept: You and Levi are deeply in love with each other, so he wants to introduce you to his adopted daughter, Mikasa. You are terrified of it happening because you can see yourself growing old with Levi, and you have talked so much about the future. You finally meet Mikasa and things go better than you expected.

Taglist: @ladycheesington @skittlelover69 @li-anne @galactict3a @notgoodforlife @2moth-anon2 @youre-ackermine @nyxiieluna @nbinairyn @thebobaprincess @levisbrat25 @demonsimp6

You climbed off the bus with your overnight bag in hand, along with a bag full of gifts. Levi had offered to pick you up, but you said you would make your way over because you needed to prepare yourself. You needed to calm your anxiety before you met Mikasa.

Levi adopted Mikasa when her parents passed. Mikasa was a distant relative of Mikasa's and became her dad very quickly. He took her as his own when she was a few months old. Levi had raised her from a baby and loved her as if she was his own. You knew how close they were and that she was Levi's world and he did dream of having more kids in the future.

You gulped hard as you stood in front of his cute townhouse with perfectly painted fences, neatly laid out flowers and a cute swing bench on the decking. You adored his house and seeing a little girl's outdoor toys on the grass made you smile.

Mikasa was only three, but she was a smart and active little girl. Levi told you how she was running circles around him most days. Levi loved it. He loved everything about his little girl and showed you videos of her and her development. Levi had told you Mikasa was going to love you, but you still worried.

You opened the little gate to the front garden and made your way up to the front door. You let out a long sigh and shook your arms a little. You pressed the doorbell and waited. You smiled when you heard a squeal of happiness and Levi's muffled voice getting closer.

Levi opened the front door and smiled at you. "Hey, beautiful." He pulled you close and kissed you. "Mm, you are wonderful. I'm so glad you're staying over."

"Me too."

"I love you."

You blushed. "I love you too."

"Daddy?"

Levi looked down at his little girl, her back hair was tamed and a cute red bow was in it. He smiled as she fiddled with her pretty dress, one that she told Levi she had to wear because she wanted so badly to look good for the visiting Queen. Levi loved how Mikasa was so excited to meet you and for you to be her mummy.

He petted her head. "Go ahead."

Mikasa shuffled in her little socks with cats on. "Mm...hi...I'm Mikasa."

You crouched down and offered your hand as you said your name. "Lovely to meet you finally. Your daddy has told me so much about you and I must say, you are like a little princess."

Mikasa's eyes lit up. "Princess?"

You giggled. "That's right." You gasped. "I love your dress and socks. You like cats?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"They're so cute."

She bounced up and down. "Can I show you my kitties?"

You gasped as she grabbed your hand. "Oh, I'd love to."

Levi chuckled. "I've got your bags."

"Thanks." You ran with Mikasa and went upstairs. You released her hand and watched her run around grabbing a few toys she liked. "They're very cute. Which one do you love?"

She picked up a little kitty. "This one."

You sat on the floor and hummed a laugh. "I like it."

Levi stepped into the room with a bag. "You might want this."

You took it from him. "Thank you. I have a hello gift." You pulled out a big cuddle cat. "I picked this one because it looks like your daddy."

Mikasa took it from you and stared at the big cuddly cat. Tears filled her eyes before she threw herself at you. "Thank you."

You hugged her back. "You're welcome. I uh...I baked some cakes cause your daddy said you like tea parties."

Mikasa opened your bag and looked inside. "Yum yum yum!"

Levi picked up the bag. "Not yet."

Mikasa pouted. "Daddyyyy."

He ruffled her hair. "Not yet. We'll set up the party first. Once we have the party, it's nap time."

Mikasa pouted. "No nap time."

"Yes nap time. You need sleep."

"Daddyyy."

You cleared your throat. "I like nap time, it's my favourite part of the day."

Mikasa gasped a moment before humming. "Okay. Nap time." She got up. "Party!"

Levi watched her run off. "I might ask you to come over more often." He looked over at you. "To get her to sleep."

You lowered your head. "I think I need help getting up."

"Nerves?"

You whined. "Yes. I can't believe she likes me. I was panicking so much."

Levi knelt in front of you. "She was so excited to meet you that she couldn't sleep. It took us a while to get her outfit this morning. She said it had to be perfect."

You welled up. "She's so cute." You threw yourself at Levi and hugged him. "I'm so happy she likes me."

Levi squeezed you. "She loves you, I can tell." He picked you up and stood making you laugh. "Come on, my Queen, our little princess is waiting." He took you downstairs and plopped you onto your feet. "Looks like the princess is setting up her tea party."

You giggled as she ran around setting up her little table. "I'm glad she's excited."

"Me too."

Mikasa ran over to you and held your hand. "The Queen sits with the princess!"

Levi folded his arms. "Oi? What about the King? He wants to give the Queen kisses."

Mikasa shook her head. "Later, daddy."

"Okay, later."

Mikasa pulled you along and patted a seat. "This one."

You sat down and smiled. "Thank you."

You had your tea party with Mikasa and talked to her whenever she asked questions. You made her laugh and fascinated her with stories. As time went on she slowly fell asleep. She hugged your side and fell asleep holding you.

Levi smiled as he cleaned up. "I think today went perfectly."

"Me too. I was worried over nothing."

Levi picked up Mikasa and held her close. "I'll put her to bed and I'll be right back."

You waved. "Sure." You walked to his kitchen and made a cup of tea for you and Levi. You sat in the window seat and opened the window to get the warm summer air in. "Mm, peaceful."

"You look right at home."

You blushed as you looked over at Levi. "Really?"

He sat opposite you and enjoyed his tea. "Mm. Wonderful tea, thank you."

"I'm glad you like it."

He put his cup down and took yours away from you. "Come here."

You pouted. "My tea."

He grabbed you and dragged you between his legs and into his arms. "I was denied kisses. I need kisses."

You wrapped your arms around Levi's neck and started kissing him over and over. You smiled against his lips before pushing your tongue into his mouth. You moaned in delight as your tongues danced together and a tingle started in both your bodies.

Levi squeezed your bum in his hands. "Tomorrow morning will be interesting. I am sure Mikasa will wake us both up."

You hummed a laugh. "That's okay. I'm just glad she's accepted me."

"Well, you're Queen according to her." He purred. "My Queen and I'm your King."

You nuzzled your nose against his. "Yes you are."

[sl33py-day]

Imposter AU but with a twist

I had an idea with the SAGAU imposter AU for genshin. Here’s the idea

TW: Swear words and A pick me girl (not reader)

A/n: Y/n can be seen as Female, Male or Gender Neutral the only Female proun I used was for your friend.

You traveled to Genshin impact one day and the first thing you heard was “IMPOSTER!” You didn’t even get a chance to understand where the fuck you were. How rude. But people were running towards you and you scooby doed the fuck out of there.

I have read a few Imposter AU’s so I believe there’s some characters who believe you’re the OG Creator. With that you luckily bumped into one of those characters and for right now it will be Albedo.

Back to the hunt for your ever lovely head. The news that there was an imposter spread more quickly than the latest wildfire. Your wonderful thinking thought “Imma go to Monstadt” since you are a genius. Can you hear the sarcasm?

Albedo made you wear a disguise. Basically a wig with a hood with a scarf. That’s enough though since no one realized or cared for your appearance while going through Monstadt.

While you were walking you heard lots of yelling and loud sounds. You followed the sound to see a crowd going through the crowed you saw your friend.

The Freind that went missing months prior before being in Teyvat. Well I should say Ex.Freind as she stole your money that got you in trouble with your parents, spread lies about you being a whore and stealing her boyfriend, kept saying that you hit her, and Being a pick me girl in short to the point where she dyed her hair to h/c and cut it the way you did. Why did she do this you ask? Well she’s a spoiled brat that always got jealous of you cause you had good grades,smart, and basically people where nice to you because you where nice back but mean to her because she was a bully.

The moment you saw her and she saw you it was over. She pointed to you and yelled “I found the one trying to pretend to be me!” And started crying. But you were gone the moment she pointed to you so basically she was pointing at a random girl that was behind you. Poor girl got pinned to the ground and beaten……

After the whole thing happened you went back to Albedo and said “I could live with being the so called imposter.” Albedo was confused as to why you, the real creator, could live with people hating you and wanting you dead. So he asked why to which you would reply with

“Karma’s gonna kick her ass real soon. She put this act of being the Creator for how long?”

“Five months?”

“Yep lying for that long is gonna give you some backlash in the future. Plus she’s done more bad things than good. I bet the karma police is gonna come at ask for her tax of how much Karma she owes.”

Albedo just sat there like “🙂 Ok” he doesn’t understand what you said but continued with his toys. But you kept talking about things while walking around the room.

“Besides I bet I would have a panic attack, anxiety attack and loss all my energy for the day in just 10 minutes of having to talk to people constantly.”

——————-

And that’s that my idea that I found somewhat funny. Like reader is perceived as the imposter but they don’t care because the person who’s the actual imposter is your ex best friend

[fxlling13]

Lie

Dh!master x fem!reader

Synopsis: the master and the doctor both notice how much you have changed over the past few months. And it worries them.

Warnings: abuse, physical and mental. Injuries, breakdowns, Death, murder. The master kills a man. Victim blaming . Manipulation. Probably more.

Sitting in the console room, the master put his paper down and looked up. The doctor was under the console, trying to improve on something. He honestly didn't care enough to ask. Instead, there was something else on his mind. Sitting forward, he scratched his chin thoughtfully.

"What is it? Because I can hear your brain working from here." The blonde said, not moving from her spot.

"Have you noticed anything off about (y/n)?" Sliding out, the doctor sat up and pulled her goggles off.

"Oh thank god its not just me."

Coming to stand in front of him, she crossed her arms.

"She's been attached to you. It's like everything else scares her." Her observation was indeed correct and whilst the master wasn't complaining, it was worrying.

"She used to be so confident and brave. When did it change?" He asked, looking up at his old friend. She hummed, pacing slightly to try and think clearer.

"I dont think there's any point in being coy, she's obviously the closest to you out of any of us. If anyone can find out, it's you." nodding, the master stood and cracked his neck.

"I'll try my best. Should we go pick everyone up?"

They landed in the usual spot in Sheffield. Yaz was already there, bounding in once the doors were fully materialised. The master almost laughed at how excited she was to see the doctor. Dan was next, on time as usual. Immediately, he began to brag about his date with Diane. Not bothering to listen, the master stood by the door and waited. His fingers tapped against his arm worriedly. Thirty minutes late by this point, he huffed walking back over to the console.

"We could always go forward in time, to the point she arrives?" Yaz suggested but they shook their head.

"I want to see how late she is. You two can go decide on where we go alright?" Agreeing with the doctor, yaz and Dan sat on the steps discussing.

I was practically running down the street. Well, I say running, hobbling would be more accurate. I'd made him really angry this time. Stupid mistake. I shouldn't of mentioned any of my friends. Especially not him, but I couldn't help it. Not when I'd grown so close to the master. He was always there for me, to help me get away from the hell at home. Taking a deep breath, I looked at my phone and saw I was nearly an hour late. They were definitely going to question me. I entered the tardis anyway, a fake smile plastered on my face.

"Ah! (Y/n)!" The doctor cheered, rushing over to me. Giggling, I shut the door to block out the cold. I was only in a thin sweatshirt, even in the winter. Only because he had ripped my clothes to shreds.

"Sorry I'm late. Train was delayed." I lied through my teeth, praying to myself that it was convincing. Grinning, the doctor grabbed my arm and pulled me to the console. I couldn't help but wince, not expecting her to do that. Looking to my side, I saw the master stood there. He was leaning against a pillar with his hands in his pockets. Jacket discarded and sleeves rolled up, I almost blushed just seeing him. He simpered, coming to my side.

"Have a good few days off?" No. Doing my best to seem happy, I nod and told a few false stories to them.

"Well that's great! Yaz, have you decided where we're going?" The doctor asked, the pair coming to join us. The brunette suggested something and the doc got to work piloting. Suddenly, a hand landed on my shoulder. Out of reflex, I flinched harshly and covered myself from harm. But nothing happened. Lowering my arms, found the master looking at me with worry. I just laughed it off, swallowing down my anxiety.

"Everything alright?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" I responded way to quickly and I knew he thought that.

"You've got a bruise on your cheek." He pointed out, thumb brushing against it softly.

Oh no. In my rush I obviously forgot to cover it.

"Oh yeah. Funny story that. Walked right onto a door frame." All he did was nod at my fake tale. Slowly, he opened his arms.

"Come here." Not needing to be told twice, I wrapped my arms around his waist and sank into his hold immediately. How could I not fall in love? From the minute he began to travel with us, the master was by my side. He'd put himself before me no matter what.

"You know I'd never hurt you, right?" Even the way he spoke with me was so soft. So genuine.

"Of course."

Three mad, near death adventures later, we were gathered round the console exhausted.

"So, drop you off to recharge yeah?" My heart dropped at the doctors words but I knew I had no choice. Yaz nod, happy to get some rest. And Dan, well he wanted his girlfriend. All I could focus on was the fact I'd have to see my 'boyfriend' again. No matter how many times I tried to break up, he wouldn't let me go.

"(Y/n)? You okay?" Dan appeared next to me. I jumped, not expecting to hear his voice. He looked confused at my reaction and lifted a hand; probably to touch my shoulder in hindsight. Backing up, I felt my back hit someone's chest. I relaxed, recognising that it was the master.

"I'm fine, sorry. Zoned out." Unconvinced, Dan didn't have time to reply as we landed abruptly. Heading for the door, the doctor stopped me.

"Stay safe." Oh how I wish she knew. But they could never know. Without responding, I left and hurried home.

--------☆

Counting to ten, I took a deep breath then went inside my house. The tv was blaring, some old Hollywood movie. Realising he wasn't there, I made my way to the kitchen. It was a state as usual. Pans piled high, moldy plates and stained glasses. Plus, it stunk of stale food.

"Where have you been?" A slurred voice came from behind me. All the hairs on the back of my neck stood up.

"Answer me!" He yelled, forcing me to turn around. Having me trapped against the counter, my heart rate picked up.

"With my friends." Mistake number one. Rolling his eyes, the taller gripped my wrist so tight, I thought it might break.

"Stop lying! Are you cheating? I bet you are. You're such a whore! Sleeping with every man you lay your eyes on." Whimpering at his accusations, I shook my head fiercely.

"No I swear!" Mistake number two. Chuckling dryly, he sneered.

"Did you just yell at me? Huh, you little bitch." My body began to shake as I knew what was coming. When I said nothing, the drunk male slapped me. I fell to the floor with a thud.

"Let me guess, you were off with that man you told your mother about?" Now internally screaming at myself for talking about the master, I chose to remain silent.

"What's so good about him anyway? I bet he's just some ugly little rat. Could never be a better man than me." Anger boiled beneath the surface. Without thinking, I snapped.

"Dont talk shit about him!" Third mistake. His eyes were vacant and soulless. Saying nothing, he grabbed the wine bottle from the counter and smashed it on the edge. Glass exploded around me as I let out a scream. He held it up, ready to use.

"You're gonna regret that slut."

--------☆

Tuesday couldn't come fast enough, it had been hell these past three days. As soon as the tardis came into view, I rushed in. Everything hurt, everything was sore. I wanted to collapse and never wake up. Everyone looked at me, they all seemed to be staring. Especially the master, who stood straight upon seeing me with his brows knit tight together.

"What?" I asked confused, chest still heaving from my run.

"Your nose is bleeding." Yaz told me. Touching my nose, I found that she was right. The master stepped forward without warning and I yelped, jumping back. He froze, eyes showing clear worry. All at once, everyone moved closer. Not being able to handle all the attention, I rushed past and ran to my room on board. Going into the bathroom, I shut the door before banging my fist against it repeatedly. That man ruined everything. Why couldn't I just be happy? I turned the shower on then peeled off my clothes, it was so painful. None of the wounds were treated and they were all fresh. Stepping into the shower, I slid down the wall and sat there; letting the water run over me.

Back in the console room, everyone stood not knowing what happened. The doctor gave the master a look. He nod then turned to the humans.

"What does (y/n) do at home?" They both shrugged, not having a clue.

"She never talks about it with us. Dodges the subject mostly." Dan admitted. Sighing, the master tried to peice everything together. But, with so little evidence, it was hard. Then it hit him and god, did he hope he was wrong.

"Who does she live with?" He asked, wary of what the answer could be.

"She used to live with her boyfriend." Yaz told him, sitting on the console beside the doctor. The blonde tilted her head.

"Used to?"

"Well, she wanted to break up with him. But she still could I suppose?" Wetting his lips, the master thought over everything. It was about four months ago (for them, not him and the doctor. Time travel and all that.) that this has all started.

"When did she say she wasn't happy?"

"I dunno. Three, four months?" He looked at the doctor to see she was frowning. They were thinking the same thing.

"Go." She said and he didn't need to be told twice. The master ran down to my room, not bothering to inform the other humans. The doctor would do that for him.

Doing my best not to cry, I began to feel numb at the burn against the cuts. I'd dealt with worse. The bathroom door was suddenly thrust open, I screamed and covered myself best I could. In the entrance, the master stood there. It was too late, he'd seen it all. All the damage my body had. Shutting the door, he reached in and turned the water off; grabbing a towel in the process. He crouched in front of me, wrapping the towel around my back. His eyes scanned over every scar, cut and bruise. Without question, he pulled me into his embrace.

"What has he done to you?" Knowing that he'd figured it all out, the floodgates opened and I broke down in his arms.

"Shhh, its okay now. I've got you." Not able to respond, I just cried more. I didn't deserve his time at all, yet here he was.

"How about, we get you dry? I'll take care of your wounds. Then, I'll make sure you're nice and comfortable. Is that okay?" Nodding slowly, the master picked me up and sat me on the counter. He pulled out a clean towel, to replace the now damp one and dried me off very gently. Making sure to pat my skin with great care. After putting on some underwear, the elder disappeared for a few minutes before returning with a med kit. It was silent as he aided all the deep gashes and bruises littered on my skin. Taking my hand in his, he observed the hand shaped bruise on my wrist. It wasn't the worst injury I had, but definitely the most noticeable. I knew for a fact my back was in bad condition along with my stomach.

"He won't get away with this. I swear that. I'm going to throw him in a black hole." That comment made me giggle for the first time in ages. Smirking, the master handed me my fluffy pyjama hoodie and pair of shorts. Actually, they looked more like boxers. Either way, I wasn't complaining and put them on.

"Come on. Bed. You need rest."

"I'm fine-" a stern look cut me off. Of course, I was not fine. Instead, he carried me to my bed and sat me under the duvet.

"I'll be right back." He told me then disappeared. Resting my head back against the headboard, I took a deep breath. What was going to happen now? I was going to end up homeless. All alone. My eyes filled with tears yet again. Once everyone here found out it would be so embarrassing. They'd definitely judge, or laugh. Maybe? My head was a mess at that point.

"Hey, hey. Why are you crying sweets?" Not looking up, I heard the master speak before coming over. Something was placed on my side table, i didn't know what. His arms encased me, moving me so I was sat between his legs and leaning on his chest. I sniffled, hiding myself in his chest sheepishly.

"Talk to me (y/n). I want to help you." He tried but I just couldn't believe him. So, I shook my head at him.

"Please?" Turning myself slightly, I buried my face into his purple vest. My shoulders shook violently. Instantly, he began to rub my back soothingly.

"I hate him." I stuttered out, feeling pathetic.

"Tell me everything. I'm here for you. I'll listen." Taking a deep breath, I pressed myself against the warm male more. Though I found it hard to believe, that he'd actually be interested in listening to me, I wasn't going to pass up the chance to vent.

"It started a few months ago. He'd always been angry, he'd yell when I made mistakes or did something he didn't like. But when he started getting physical, I tried to leave. He didn't like that and he pushed me down the stairs." The masters grip on me immediately tightened after I had said that. Clearly, he was angry but I wasn't scared at all.

"After that, it didn't stop. Every time I forgot something, he'd hit me. If I spoke back, he'd hit me. If I went out alone, if I didn't clean, if I didn't cook. Especially when I spoke about you guys. Everything landed with him getting angry. And he took it out on me.  Every time." I concluded, his vest getting damp from my tears but he didn't mind. Holding my shoulders, the master pushed me back and held me at a comfortable distance.

His thumbs brushed my cheeks dry, a calming look in his eyes. Before he could say anything, I spoke out my own insecurities.

"Now I'm going to be on the streets right? I'm gonna be alone again. I don't want to be alone, please. Please don't leave me alone."

"Shh, come here." Hooking his hands under my arms, the master sat me on his lap properly; head landing in the crook of his neck. Now straddling his thighs, I was much more snug against him and able to hug him tightly. His arms were almost possessive around my waist, but i enjoyed it.

"I am never going to let you be alone. Ever. You're stuck with me. And I promise you, that he will pay." He spoke softly, kissing my cheek soon after. Turning pink, I managed to collect myself a little. My body began to go a little limp in his hold, everything seemingly catching up with me.

"Are you tired?" All I could do was nod at his words, i could tell he wanted me to sleep. But I was scared.

"Can't sleep."

"Why not love?"

"Nightmares." Understanding, the master cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes.

"Would you like me to help with that." Nodding once again, his lips pressed against my temple and I was out for the count. Once I was asleep, the master tucked me in then stood. For a moment, he pondered what to do then began his journey back to the console room. The doctor looked at him anxiously, clearly wanting to know what happened.

"I want to kill him." He told her directly, alerting both yaz and Dan. They rushed over as he came in front of the doctor. She inhaled deeply, staring at him with intent.

"Its bad?"

"Its worse than you can imagine. Tell me no or else I'm going to kill him." Quickly, the blonde started to fly her ship. Rushing around the console, she flicked different levers and pushed the right buttons. The tardis landed with a thud.

"Where are we?" The master asked, forehead lined with frustration. All those pent up feelings weren't good for the mind.

"Outside (y/n)s House." She went over to him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Get him." Their eyes went wide in shock. The doctor was actually giving him permission to kill him. Not needing to be told twice, the master grabbed his jacket and rushed out.

Just waking up from a black out, the unsuspecting male stumbled into the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine. Suddenly, the door slammed behind him, causing him to jump and drop the drink. He turned and saw the outline of another man in the shadows. Out came the master, arms folded tightly. Backing up, the human was utterly confused.

"What are you doing in my house?" He slurred, eyes going up and down repeatedly. Chuckling, he walked closer and unfolded his arms, revealing a dagger in his fist. Immediately, the man sobered up and swallowed thickly.

"What's your name?" The master asked, not sparing him a glance.

"Michael." Nodding, he took another step closer as Michael began shaking.

"Hello Michael. You're going to come with me." Of course, he complied and followed the master out and into the tardis. Once on board, he was in a state if shock. But the master payed this no mind and began to fly the tardis skillfully. Once he was happy with the place they were adrift, he stalked back over.

"Before you die- and believe me, you really are going to die- tell me. What pleasure did you get out of hurting (y/n)?" Michael's face went sour, realisation setting in. He scoffed and looked away.

"Is that what all this is about? That stupid girl. For fuck sake!" Raising his brows, the master watched in amusement, as the human had his tantrum.

"What bullshit has she been spewing now? All she does is lie! Even made up some guy with a dumb name. Just to pretend anyone would actually give a fuck about her! I never hurt her! She's just pathetic." He told him, rolling his eyes afterwards. It was silent for a second before he began again and, as you can imagine, the rage was growing tenfold inside the timelord.

"I did not hurt her! Never. God she's infuriating. Are you just going to stand there? Looking at me as if I'm stupid, it's unnerving." Michael asked, making the master shake his head with a slight pout.

"No you carry on. You're only making your death more painful." The look in his eyes was that of ice and he felt his blood go cold. It finally set in. Whoever this man was, he was being serious.

"Why do you care so much?" Ignoring the question, the master tutted quietly and lead him to the doors.

"This 'guy with a dumb name'? What did she call him?"

"Uh- The master I think. Why does that matter? Who even are you?" A smirk grew on his lips, gazing at the male with a murderous glint in his eye.

"Well, I'm not made up. That much, I'll tell you." Clicking in, Michael looked extremely confused and took a step away.

"You're the master? You're real? So she was cheating! That little bitch! When I get my hands on her I'm going t-" Instantly, the dagger was pressed to his throat, cutting him off. The master pushed him against the closed door, teeth gritted together. 

"You really are thick." He laughed out but wasn't happy even in the slightest. Michael let out a strangled breath, staring at him in fear.

"Never hurt someone I love. It won't end well for you." Gripping the back of his shirt, he opened the doors to reveal looming darkness.

"What's that?"

"That, stupid human, is a black hole." The master muttered, taking the dagger away from his neck. Without a second thought, he impaled Michael's waist. He cried out but the master didn't care. Instead, he drew him in closer and spoke into his ear.

"Enjoy your time in hell." With that final statement, he was thrown out into the void, tardis doors shutting behind him. Resting his head against the doors, he let out a breath. At least he knew this therapy was working. The master didn't get half as much joy as he used to. But he didn't regret it. Not at all. Feeling a hand land on his shoulder, he turned to see the doctor. She had a sympathetic smile.

"Go. She needs you." He smiled, nodding in recognition before heading back down to my room. Finding I was still asleep, he took off his shoes, jacket and waist coat, before slipping in on the free side. Carefully, he pulled me closer and relaxed as I subconsciously attached myself to him. Maybe even he could fall asleep like this.

Groggy, my eyes forced themselves open. Going to move, I found myself under something- or someone- weighted. Looking to my left, I found the master. He's was sleeping. That was odd, he never slept. Taking this opportunity, I sunk back down and buried my face into his chest. It was warm and safe.

My movements must have woke him as he stirred a moment later. His hands tightened on my waist and I quickly hid my face in his shirt.

"That doesn't make you invisible you know?"

Turning red, I gazed up at him.

"You were asleep."

"No I wasn't."

"Was." It went silent. Just staring at each other until he gave in. Casting his eyes to the beams on the ceiling, the master spoke.

"Maybe I was." I smiled and tried to adjust, get more comfortable.

"You never sleep." Carefully, the male pulled me further onto his chest, a hand still encasing the dip of my waist.

"No, I just can't sleep. There's a difference, love." Ignoring how my blush grew, I allowed myself to bask in his warmth. It felt nice. It fight oddly right. To be there, in his arms. A man I was once told to fear, to avoid at all cost. He now lay here holding me as if I could disappear. Mind starting to catch up, I suddenly remembered just how I got in this situation.

"What did you do? When I was asleep?" I asked, looking up at the master with wonder. He rolled his head against the pillow, eyes scanning my face. A hand traced the bruise on my cheek tentivley, a tense sigh breathing by his lips.

"Do you want the truth, right now? I don't want to upset you." Our eyes locked and I nod surely, letting him know I could handle the truth.

"I took Michael. I listened to his shitty lies. I let him talk, let him grow scared. Though, I could have done it for longer but I was too angry." He started, glaring up at nothing in particular. Sensing his growing anger, I reached forward and laced our fingers together. The master looked at our hands, the corners of his lips twitching upwards.

"I stabbed him. I threw him into a black hole. He's in a million pieces now. Floating through space. Dead." Maybe he was expecting me to recoil in fear, or give him a lecture. Instead, I sat up with a smile. I leant down and kissed his cheek, causing his eyes to widen in the process.

"Thank you. For saving me." Even if my voice was quiet, the master grinned and sat himself up as well.

"You don't have to thank me doll. I'd do it again in a heart beat." Pushing back the covers, the master got himself up.

"Wait right here." Then, he rushed out, leaving me alone. I smiled to myself, going to the bathroom. After doing what needed to be done, I washed my hands and looked in the mirror. As much as I loved my hoodie, I pulled it off and felt more comfortable. Seeing as I was wearing a sports bra, I turned and head back into my room. It wouldn't matter, I could throw a tshirt on if the master was uncomfortable. Crawling back onto my bed, I sat on my knees and grabbed my phone. Finally, I deleted Michael's number and hovered over my photo gallery. Once I have clicked on it, my heart dropped at all the cold memories stored there. They hurt to see. So caught up in my phone, I didn't hear the door open. The master looked up and froze, eyes raking over my figure. Quickly, he shook those thoughts away and came to my side, gently placing two mugs down on the bedside table.

"What are you doing?" He asked, moving so my back was flush to his chest. I showed him my phone screen, all the photos now highlighted.

"I'm deleting all of it." Nodding, the master watched as I did so and noticed how my eyes grew sad at the now black screen.

"Dont be upset, love. Its over now." Gently, he pulled me between his legs, resting back against the pillows. My body followed his, relaxing against him.

"I made you tea." Carefully, he handed me a steaming cup of tea. I took it gratefully, blowing the steam in effort to cool it. For a while, we sat there, drinking tea whilst I listened to a few of his stories. I loved hearing about his and the doctors childhood. It sounded almost magical. Whilst the master was speaking, I looked up and found myself staring at the alien. At least now I didn't have to feel guilty about my feelings. Not that I ever did, it's not like I wanted to be either Michael in the end. The cup, now empty, was taken from my grasp, knocking me out of my daydream. The master grinned down at me, brushing his fingers through my hair.

"What's with that look?"

"What look?" I asked, eyes never leaving him. Chuckling, he let out a sigh before moving his free hand down to my waist.

"I should have tortured him more. He deserved it." His fingers danced around the bruise on my stomach, light touches almost making me shiver.

"It doesn't matter now." Still, I could see it was bothering him.

"He was never a good boyfriend, even before the really bad times." The master never stopped his hand from moving, giving me full attention.

"How so?"

"He never showed me love. I could never hold his hand, or hug him. He never kissed me. I was just an accessory to him." I explained, frowning at the memory.

"Over a year of neglect. Maybe that's all I'm worth." Immediately, the master whipped his head to look me right in the eyes. It almost made me flinch.

"Absolutely not. That man was an absolute idiot. A waste of space." He seethed, inhaling sharply afterwards.

"I would never treat you like that. I would never let you go. I'd-" We both froze as he slowly realised the weight of the words he just spoke.

"I mean. Hypothetically." The master slightly stuttered. My mouth was parted, blinking in the informed.

"I would treat you better anyone. Because that's what you deserve." A smile grew on my lips, listening as the; usually calm male, fumbled with his words.

"Not that you would be interested. Now or ever. But I'm just-" Giggling, I kneeled up, gripping his collar and pressing his lips against mine. Initially surprised, the master held onto my waist and melted into the kiss soon after. Pulling back, I was taken aback when the male pulled me into his chest. My head rested against his shoulder comfortably.

"If I'd have known that the feeling was mutual, I'd have taken you away from him much sooner." The master stroked the top of my hair, pressing a kiss to my temple lovingly. Simpering, I nuzzled in closer.

"You're here now. That's all that matters." And that was the truth. From then on, everything would get better. As long as he was by my side.

[bunny7567]

I got you - chapter 6

Pairing: Rex x Jedi!ofc

Word count: 4.6k Tags/Warnings: ptsd; mentions of sexual harassment; things with Rex get a little steamy... barely but it's still there; otherwise this chapter is pretty fluffy; Echo is pure and innocent

Previous chapter │Next chapter

Lexie was sat cross-legged underneath the Great Tree, eyes closed, trying to meditate. She had tried going to bed earlier that night, but the moment the door slid shut behind her and she had found herself alone in the room, her anxiety started raising. She tried to ignore it, she had turned off the light and gotten into bed, but though the darkness of the room, her tired brain thought for just a second that the clothes rack by the door was a B-1 droid and she had sent it flying through the room before coming back to her senses.

She used to love her privacy before, but now she found herself actually envious of the clones, all cramped up in communal dormitories, but never alone. Would it work better, sleeping on the base? Knowing that a few levels below an entire battalion of soldiers was sleeping, ready to jump into action at a second’s notice? If being in a temple full of Jedi wasn’t working she doubted the barracks would, but it was worth a try anyway.

She knew what would work, what had worked the previous night, but she could not just go up to Rex and ask that. And it wasn’t proper anyway. She needed to get her shit together and act like a Jedi, and like a general.

The day had gone a lot faster than she had expected. Lexie had felt relieved and at ease after the conversation she had with the men in the mess hall that morning. But it did not last long. Upon reaching the Temple she was summoned by the Council. Fear and anxiety overwhelmed her mind as she approached the Council room, worrying that they had found out about her lies. Maybe Rex had informed them of her not remembering Geonosis after all.

Would he do that? Betray her now after she felt they had made so much progress in their relationship? And would it matter if she remembered more about her Trials now? The memories were still foggy and incoherent, but she remembered a lot more than when she was knighted, and she also had a bit more confidence that she deserved to hold that title.

But it wasn’t just her that had been summoned; inside the room she found Anakin already in the centre of the Council’s circle. They were still unaware of her memory problems, as it turned out. They were, however, aware of her failure on Erosh-4.

“From you an account of what happened, to hear we would like”, Master Yoda had addressed her after she stepped in the circle by the side of her friend.

“We know the details of the plan, so jump right to what went wrong”, Master Plo Koon’ holo-form said.

Lexie used all her mental strength to calm her mind. She thought about repeating the account Rex had given Anakin after the mission, but could she successfully keep the details to herself? And what if they knew she was omitting parts of the story? Did they know about the scout report?

No, she had to face the consequences.

“Certainly, Master”, she said a bit shaky, clasping her hands behind her back and standing tall. “The terrain of the canyon proved more difficult than anticipated and my platoon was behind schedule. That is why, when informed by our scouts of a droid presence outside our exit from the canyon, I chose to continue ahead. Our intel turned out to not be accurate, the droids vastly outnumbered us and there were also at least a dozen tanks present, so we suffered numerous casualties. We had to retreat back into the canyon and call for a medevac”.

“Are you aware that the ‘numerous casualties’ amount to almost the entire platoon?”, Master Windu asked coldly.

“I am, Master. It has weighed heavily on me these past few days”, Lexie admitted. “I was arrogant and careless; I am deeply ashamed of it. I have apologised to the men this morning and I can assure you, as I assured them, that I will do better in the future”.

“You apologised to the clone troopers?”, Obi-Wan’s hologram asked.

“I did, Master”

“Well, I think that should ease our worries”, Obi-Wan said to his fellow Council members. “Master al’Prani would never have admitted to any wrongdoings this candidly”.

Lexie’s eyebrows shot up. Did everyone think she would act like her former master? Anger bubbled up inside of her, mostly directed at herself. She had wanted to act as confident and unbothered as he would but what she had succeeded doing was mimic his coldness.

“Since you are accepting responsibility for the unfortunate outcome of your mission and know you have to do better in the future I believe there is no need for us to intervene any further”, Master Windu spoke calmly. “You will be receiving your new assignments soon”.

“Dismissed for now the two of you are. Unless, something to add you have, young Skywalker, hmm?”, Yoda asked.

Lexie turned her head to look at her friend. Is this what this was? Had he come before them to voice concerns about her? After everything she had confided in him, did he really believe she would ever be as cruel as her Master? And to not even give her the courtesy of talking to her first, before throwing her in front of the Council.

“No, Master”, Anakin responded, bowing his head in respect.

As soon as the door slid shut behind them, Lexie turned to Anakin. “Really? You couldn’t talk to me face to face before running to the Council?”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked angrily as he walked down the stairs. “I was summoned by them just like you were. And I did try to talk to you, last night and two nights ago, but you weren’t here”.

“So you didn’t go in there to say you’re worried I’m like al’Prani? To ask to have me removed from the battalion?”, she said, her frustration faltering.

“What? No! Lexie, come on. I was a bit concerned I admit it. But I know you better than that. And I also know Rex and he would not have lied to cover for someone he thought was a liability to his men”.

“He didn’t technically lie to you, just didn’t give the whole story”, Lexie said quietly.

“And was that the whole story? Or is there anything else I should know?”, he asked her, a look of concern on his face.

Lexie wasn’t sure what to respond. Should she tell him that the retreat order had come so late because she choked out there? That her connection to the Force felt off? Maybe he had experienced it too during battle, that overwhelming feeling of death. Would she seem weak to admit all that to him?

Before she had a chance to say anything else, Ahsoka called to her Master from across the hall, then jogged to catch up with them. The young Padawan eagerly reminded Anakin of the training he had promised her and Lexie found herself roped into joining them in the training room, demonstrating for Ahsoka the use of her dual lightsabers, her preferred forms and combat style. She seemed to show great interest in the Jar'Kai method and Lexie was happy to humour her. Anakin had even excused himself after a while, leaving Lexie in charge of the training session. By the time the two of them were done most of the day had slipped away.

Lexie got up from under the Great Tree and made her way to the barracks. Her thoughts wandered to her home. The bright red leaves of the Secca tree should be turning pale pink soon, as the planet approaches its cold season. She remembered the old tree in the public gardens of the Palace and how she and Myria would run laps around it and how Anara would plead with them to behave. No, stop thinking about it.

She hated when she got so nostalgic. Lexie didn’t really think she could go to bed right now, her mind felt too awake, but maybe if she tired herself enough before by hitting the training facilities it would quiet down. What level had she gotten off the lift last night? The base still felt like a maze to her.

She ended up on the command level, walking down the corridor she recalled she should have an office on. Rex also had an office here, she remembered. But it was quite late, he’d surely be in bed by this time, right? She found the door he had shown her, no harm in checking if anyone is in there.  

Her hand pressed the buzzer and to her surprise a muffled voice sounded from behind the door. As it slid open, Lexie’s eyes landed on Rex, sat down behind a desk, head in one hand, elbow resting on the desk, datapad in the other hand and a tired look on his face. His eyes went wide as he glanced at her and he stood up at attention so fast, the chair he was sitting on fell backwards, hitting the metal floor with a loud thud.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, Captain”, Lexie said with a small laugh, moving her hand as she used the Force to lift the chair back up.

Rex glanced at the chair as it was levitated from the ground, his face going red in embarrassment. “I was certain it’d be Kix barging in here to try and get me to call it a night, not you, General, that’s all”.

“Oh, well, sorry for barging in”, she said raising her eyebrows in an amused expression.

“I... no that’s not what I meant”, Rex muttered, face blushing deeper.

“Honey, you really need to relax a bit”, she laughed as she approached the desk.

Rex replied with a small snort. A warm feeling stirred inside his chest at her use of “honey”. A feeling Rex desperately tried to ignore. Why did he like it so much to hear her call him that?

“How come you’re up so late?”, she asked from the other side of his desk.

“I could ask you the same thing”, he responded.

“Same reason as last night”, Lexie admitted with a sad smile. “What’s your reason?”

Rex looked into her eyes for a moment, trying to gauge the intention behind them. Would he overstep if he offered to spend the night in her room again? Was that why she was here in the first place? She needed to sleep and if he had to sacrifice his comfort for a few nights until she felt safe on her own again he was happy to do it. He couldn’t understand why, but he wanted to please her, to see her happy.

“Rex?”, her voice snapped him from his thoughts.

“Yes, sorry”, his hand reached for the back of his neck. “I was catching up on some reports”.

“Erosh-4 reports?”, she asked, her voice suddenly sombre.

Rex’s lips formed a thin line as he nodded yes.

Lexie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She had to let go of all these emotions, it’s not the Jedi way to linger on the past. “I really need to remember to write mine too”, she said quietly.

She looked at Rex, neither of them saying anything for a few moments.

“I should probably let you get back to it, then”, Lexie broke the silence.

“No, it’s alright. I am almost done anyway, can leave the rest for tomorrow”, he said as he turned the screen of the datapad off. “Shall I escort you back to your room?”.

“Thank you, Captain. I really need a map of this place. You know I was actually trying to find the training level, not sure how I ended up here”, she said light-heartedly.

“You’ll get the hang of it eventually”, he assured her as they started walking down the corridors.

“Did you struggle with orientation when you first got here?”, she asked him after a pause in conversation.

“No. But I spent a couple hours committing the layout of the base to memory as soon as I knew where I’d been assigned to”, he replied matter-of-factly.

“Of course you did”, Lexie accidentally said out loud.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”, Rex asked with a snort.

Shit. “Well, you know… you are a bit uptight”, she said sheepishly.

Rex gave her an unamused look.

“That was just my first impression, sorry”, she tried to excuse it. “I think it’s just because I’m having a more difficult time reading you than with your brothers”.

“You’ve been trying to read me, Sir?”, he asked, a trace of playfulness in his voice.

“No! n-no, not actively trying… just what I would normally get from being around others”, she felt her face going red. “Your mental walls are just a lot better than I expected”.

“Ventress got into my head during a mission a few months ago. I… I really didn’t like how it felt so I asked Ahsoka for some pointers on how to make sure it didn’t happen again”, he admitted.

“I wasn’t trying to do that, I’m just not used to getting so little from someone that’s not Force-sensitive. I wouldn’t just push my way into your head I promise”, she said a little too fast.

“I appreciate that”, he said as they reached her door.

Lexie glanced at the door hesitantly. Would it really be so inappropriate to ask for him to stay again? They didn’t do anything wrong last night, he was just making sure she felt safe enough to sleep. She was struggling with the effects of being in battle, that was all, she would be able to eventually move on from this fear and anxiety and things will get back to normal. But it would be more difficult to get her anxious mind under control if she was sleep deprived, the breakdown in the training room was proof of that. She had to be in her best form in order to be an effective leader, this was for the good of the men ultimately.

Before she talked herself into asking him, Rex spoke, having noticed her hesitation.

“Would you want me to keep watch again? I don’t mind”, he said softly.

“Look who’s reading who now”, she replied with an embarrassed chuckle.

He smiled and pressed the button to opened the door, stepping in after her. The chair was in the same position he had left it in, Lexie had forgotten to move it back under the desk, and Rex strode right to it, before hesitating.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to remove the upper part of my armor. It would be a little bit more comfortable”, he said suddenly nervous.

“No, of course. I already feel bad enough for making you sleep on a chair”, she replied.

A thought crossed her mind of asking him to just lay on the bed, making her slightly blush. That would absolutely cross every line.

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve slept in worse conditions”, he reassured her, beginning to unclasp the armor pieces on his arms and carefully placing them on the desk.

Rex made sure to face the other side of the room as he saw her go into the bathroom to get changed. He couldn’t allow himself to gawk at her in that nightshirt again. He remained focused on arranging the pieces of armor that he had finished taking off, only turning and taking his seat after he was sure she had gotten into bed.

“Thank you… for doing this”, Lexie said quietly.

“Don’t mention it”, he replied with a small smile. “Goodnight, Lexie”.

“Goodnight, Rex”.

Lexie woke up before her alarm again. She usually hated when that happened, but on this occasion she didn’t mind it as much. That’s because on this occasion it gave her 14 minutes of being entranced by Rex’s sleeping form.

His legs were stretched, arms crossed, his head bowed into his chest. He looked so peaceful. Lexie observed the way his shoulders would rise with every slow and steady breath, her eyes lowering to the well-defined muscles on his arms. Those arms could probably lift her so easily and hold her against the wall and-

She shook her head, trying to get the image out of her mind. She could not allow herself to start fantasizing about him like that. Yes, he was extremely attractive, perhaps one of the most attractive men she’s ever met; actually, he somehow seemed more attractive than the thousands of others whose face he shared, but he was her captain, her subordinate, she could not follow that line of thought.

Rex let out a small groan as he began to wake up and leaned his head back. One was his hands moved to the back of his neck, slowly rubbing the stiff muscles. His head moved from side to side as he fluttered his eyes open, gaze landing on Lexie who was sat up in bed.

“How’d you sleep?”, he asked, voice a bit coarse.

“Really well actually. Is your neck stiff?”, she responded.

“A little, yes”, he said continuing the side to side movement.

“Here, let me help”, Lexie said as she shifted closer to the edge of the bed. Her left hand lifted, reaching to the back of his neck, fingers slowly massaging the muscles, while her right hand rested on Rex’s thigh.

A deep blush crept across Rex’s face at the unexpected physical contact, eyes going wide for just a moment, before closing them and giving into the pleasant sensation. Her fingers gently moved up, reaching the base of his skulls and slowly circling over the skin. Lexie must have touched a particularly good spot, a small grunt of pleasure audible in the deep breath that Rex let out.

Her hand abruptly pulled away from his neck as her alarm started ringing. She felt her cheeks getting warm as she got up from bed to turn it off. What in the galaxy had compelled her to just touch him like that? Not that it seemed to have bothered him, but it was still inappropriate. She turned around, finding Rex stood right behind her. He was a head taller than her and that, plus the toned muscles visible through his blacks, were making him appear quite intimidating.

“Could I…”, he said gesturing with his head to the pieces of armor placed on the desk right behind where Lexie was stood.

“S-Sorry”, she rapidly moved, grabbing her robes and ducking into the fresher to change. Maker why was she suddenly so unsettled?

She had joined the men for breakfast again, oblivious to the looks that had been exchanged between them as she and Rex walked into the mess hall together.

“I’ll get us something to eat”, Rex told her as they reached the table.

“Thank you, Captain. I’m not particularly hungry, just some caf will do”, she replied.

“You need to eat, General, I’ll bring you something small”, he walked away before she could protest.

Jesse was sat next to Kix and Hardcase this morning so Lexie sat down opposite them, next to Fives and Echo.

“You’re here early, General”, Jesse said as she took a seat.

“I spent the night here, in my room”, she responded.

They made some small talk for a while, before Rex returned with a tray and sat down next to Lexie. He placed a cup of caf and a bowl in front of her, reassuring her that it was something she could safely eat.

“Say, General, where did you find the Captain? We were looking for him before, but no one could locate him”, Fives said after a few moments, from her right.

She picked up on the trooper’s sly tone of voice.

“He was in his office”. She wasn’t technically lying, that was where she had found him. Last night.

“Didn’t you check his office, Jesse?”, Fives continued.

“I did; must’ve just missed them”, Jesse replied in a similar tone of voice.

With the corner of her eye, Lexie caught the annoyed expression on the Captain’s face. So Rex’s rank didn’t spare him from brotherly teasing; she thought it was cute.

“Have you and General Skywalker worked together before, Sir?”, Kix addressed Lexie, changing the subject for Rex’s sake and earning a thankful look from the Captain.

“Yes we did”, Lexie replied. “We’ve been friends ever since he joined the Order. We trained together frequently and, in the last 2-3 years before the war started, I accompanied him and Obi-Wan on several missions”.

“What exactly did the Jedi do on missions before the war?”, Hardcase asked.

“Well, all sorts of things. Really depends on our roles within the Order. My Master was training me to be a Shadow, so I did a lot of undercover, information-gathering type of work, for example. Spent a great deal of time in the underworld of various planets”.

“Sounds dangerous”, Echo said from his place at the end of the table.

“It was”, she said trying to sound unbothered.

Her mind drifted to all the time she had spent in shady cantinas in different parts of the galaxy ever since she was 14, and to all the vile grown men who had made her unwanted advances even though she was clearly underage. She felt a familiar feeling of anger rise in her chest. She hated al’Prani for putting her in those situations, and leaving her alone to fend for herself. “Men talk when they’re drunk, Padawan. And they talk to a woman they’re trying to get into bed”, his words sounded in her mind. She pushed the bowl of porridge that she had barely touched away from her. She was suddenly nauseous. Move on.

“Huh”, she exclaimed remembering something. “I actually have a story you lot might find interesting. I met Jango Fett during one of those missions. Spent four rotations working with him, pretending to be an aspiring bounty hunter”.

“Really, Sir?”, Jesse exclaimed. “What was he like? We’ve never actually met him, he only personally trained a couple batches of ARCs, didn’t interact with the rest of us”.

“Oh, I kriffin’ hated him. He was ruthless, meticulous, really good at his job yes, but also really fucking arrogant if I’m honest. Although I probably would’ve like him more had I seen his face, but he did not take his helmet off the entire time I was with him. Got to give it to the Kaminoans though, they have great taste in choosing templates”.

Her jaw clenched as she realised what she let slip and her cheeks began to feel very warm. I should not have kriffing said that.

“So you think we’re good looking then?”, Fives’ teasing voice sounded from her right.

Lexie let out a nervous half-cough, half-laugh and turned her head to look at the trooper next to her. Good luck finding your way out of this one.

“Well, I suppose it’s not the worst face to have to constantly see around you”, she said trying to appear nonchalant.

Fives flashed her a playful grin and opened his mouth to continue flirting but was interrupted by the Captain standing up and clearing his throat.

“If everyone is done with their grub I suggest we go and start prepping for the inspection”, he said sternly.

Shit! Lexie downed the last of her caf, trying not to let the panic appear on her face. She had completely forgotten about the troops inspection. With the Council’s summons and Ahsoka’s training, it had completely slipped her mind. She had not once looked over the reg manuals the day before.

The men got up to leave and she reluctantly followed. She had about an hour, was that enough time to run back to her room and read about the procedure? Not if she got lost in the damn corridors again which she knew was a possibility.

“Echo!”, she called in an urgent whisper motioning for the trooper to slow down and wait for her.

“Yes, Sir?”, he said as he came to a halt.

“Do you know what to do during an inspection?”, she asked quietly, after making sure there was some distance between Rex and the two of them.

“Yes, General, I know what I have to do, it’s not my first one”, he answered naively, not catching her meaning.

“I’m glad you know what to do but what I meant is do you know what I have to do?”, she said a little exasperated.

“Oh. Have you not read the reg manuals?”, he asked, receiving a look from Lexie. “Right… well there’s not that much to it really. The battalion assembles at attention and you have to walk through the lines, making sure armor and weapons look clean and in proper condition. Then there’s the barracks inspection, you will be accompanied by the Captain to check that the sleeping and communal areas are all in order, and then-”

They were interrupted by Rex clearing his throat beside them. The Captain was glaring at them with a frown on his face.

“Captain, I was-”, Echo started nervously.

“You’re not the one in trouble, honey”, Lexie stopped him. “You can go. Thanks for the help”, she said with a small smile.

Echo offered her and his captain respectful nods, then walked away, leaving the two of them looking at each other in silence.

Rex focused on maintaining his face neutral, but a hint of displeasure was visible in his eyes. He had felt a pit form in his stomach as he heard Lexie use the word “honey” on his brother, and was now angry at himself for ever believing that it was somehow a term of endearment she used only on him. Of course he wasn’t special to her, why had he allowed himself to believe that even for a second? She hadn’t even come to him for help even though he had offered and would’ve been more than eager to assist her with anything she would need.

“I uh… I forgot to familiarise myself with the inspection procedure”, Lexie said embarrassed. She could see the displeased look in the Captain’s eyes. “Sorry… for disappointing you”.

Rex’s eyes softened as he heard her say that. “I wasn’t expecting you to immediately know everything you have to do, General”, he said calmly. “But why did you not come to me if you needed help?”

“You’ve done so much for me already, I just didn’t want to keep imposing on your kindness…”, she trailed off.

Rex looked around, making sure the corridor was empty, then took a step closer to her.

“Lexie, you are not imposing. I am happy to help you with anything you need”, he gave her a small smile. “Did Echo explain everything well?”

“Yes, I think I got it. Inspect at the armor and weapons then dormitories and common room”, she replied.

“And the drills”, Rex added.

“The what?”

“After the assembly and barracks inspection there’s the drills. You select squads at random and they go through battle simulations on the training level, thus making sure they’re prepared for all kinds of action”, he explained.

“That is going to take all fucking day”, Lexie exclaimed.

“Why do you think General Skywalker was so eager to pass the next inspections on to you?”, Rex asked with a chuckle.

Lexie pinched the bridge of her nose and let out an exasperated sigh.

“As second-in-command you’re also overseeing the inspections right?”, she asked him.

“Yes, Sir. Don’t worry, I’ll be by your side the entire day”, he answered. Lexie found that thought very comforting. “The men should be assembling soon, shall we head over there?”.

“Alright. Let’s get this over with”, she said and started following Rex down the corridors.

[ask-robokasa-and-rui]

Lore Post//

TW: Graphic Descriptions, Su!c!de, SH

It was a week after Ena's unfortunate death. Kanade has veen staying with Minori ever since. She was scared of Saki now, rightfully so. Tsukasa hasn't been taking the death lightly. Why? Well to understand, we have to go back in time. Back when he started his new high school. He was expelled from his old one from beating up a classmate. And now that he had surgery, he would be unrecognizable, to anyone. Even his sister.

Tsukasa goes through the classroom door and in front of the class.

"Everyone. I would like you all to welcome your new classmate. Uhm...Tsukasa Tenma."

It's a pleasure to meet you all...

"Tsukasa, take a seat next to Kiritani."

The teacher pointed at a girl with long blue hair.

A girl...He didn't want to sit next to her. Not because he doesn't like girls or anything. The last time he did, ye got bullied pretty badly. He was scared at first, but sat down eventually.

After a while, the class ended. Now was the worst part of the day. The girl next to him, Kiritani, looked at him before a few more students surround Tsukasa.

"Hello Tenma-san! Welcome to our school!"

"Sup dude!"

More students greeted him which made him uncomfortable. He hated it when people looked at him. Especially a lot of them. It gave him so much anxiety and fear that he could pass out.

Everyone, please...go one by one. Hi, I'm Kiritank Haruka.

Tsukasa looked at the girl.

T-Tenma...

"So Tenma-san! Why did you switch schools?"

I uhm...

"Wow the first thing you ask is why he's here?"

"What do you want me to ask? I'm curious."

I-I got expelled...

Everyone gasped in shock which made him jump.

"WHAT?! How how how?!"

Tsukasa was getting frustrated and scared over all this attention. He just got out of everything. He couldn't take a break. His breathing got heavy and tears formed in his eyes.

I-I don't want to talk about it...

"Hey hey man! It's alright! We understand!"

Y-you do...?

"Yeah! I mean you don't have to tell us everything!"

...True...

Hey, Tenma? Want to have lunch with us in the rooftop at lunchtime?

Oh...uhm...

Tsukasa finally felt relaxed.

Sure...thank you...

"Alright! Another member of the gang! Oh! I'm Airi by the way! Airi Momoi"

Airi Momoi..?

"And my name is Asahi. Just call me by that!"

Asahi...Momoi-san...okay!

After a few months of being in this school, Tsukasa became more attached to it. It was just like the place he dreamed. It was until one day, where everything would go wrong.

Tenma. We need to talk.

Hm? What is it, Kiritani-san?

Are...I need to ask you this. Are you really who you are?

Huh?

Are you...Tsukasa Tenma. Or are you...someone else? A girl? Perhaps...

Hng!!

How. How did she know.

How did-

Your medical report. It's all over the school now.

W-what..? I-It is!?

Yep. So you lied about this?

I...Please don't make things harder for me!

Oh I will! Because learning that the "friend" I've been bonding for so long, was laying to me all this time!

Kiritani-san please!! I...Please don't do this to me!

Shut up! Liar! You name wasn't even Tsukasa!! What else?!

I know you're upset but...

But?!

I...I did this because I didn't want to be who I was!! I didn't want to be Maki Tenma! I never wanted to be put in this!! And because of my gen...no...because of my existence people hated me...and now I think they'll hate me again...

...Can you explain more...?

Because I was short tempered, and feisty...and because I was a girl people always made sure to let me know how horrible it is to be one...and it went all the way to me getting expelled.

So you had surgery, just to escape those problems...?

I'm weak okay!?

...hey...I'm sorry...I really didn't know about this. I understand, we, girls, we have so many bad things happen to us...we have different ways of handling it. Mines to stay silent. Yours is one I don't understand, but I don't care. As long as you're safe from those...

Kiritani-san...

GUYS!!!

Ah?! Airi? Asahi-kun?

S-Someone...huff...A student...

A STUDENT IS DEAD!!!

What!?

Everyone goes rushing outside as they see a dead body of a student. It's bones broken, eyes bloodshot (literally), and some bones were sticking out aswell.

What...the...FU-

The police did their investigation, and it was announced as a suicide. The following days, other students were going missing. Rapidly. This concerned a lot of people.

Guys...almost everyone is going missing...

Yeah...

What do we do now?

We have to stay strong. We can't let ourselves go missing.

That sounds easy...but is it?

Even if it isn't...I promise, If anyone else goes missing...it won't be either of you! Not Momoi-san, not Asahi, and not Kiritani-san! I would jump off a building for your guy's sake.

Don't be ridiculous!!

CAN YOU BLAME ME?! Even after everyone knew about my secret, you never left me! You're all still here!! I won't lose something I was so desperate for!!

...Tsukasa...

...Sorry...

I'm going to go...

Okay...

Haruka leaves.

Hey, Tsukasa? Should we call you Maki? Or Tsukasa?

Airi hits him with her elbow.

Ow-!

Hehe...don't worry guys...

Oh crap! I forgot about tomorrow's homework!!

Why don't we go to the library? It's great for studying!

Can I come aswell?

Of course!

After a few hours of studying, it started to get late.

Oh it's getting late...

We should head home.

Yeah...wait! Kiritani-san is still here. Let's invite her to walk with us!

Good idea! Let's go find her!

The trio go looking for Haruka all over the school. Yet they couldn't find her. However something catches Tsukasa's attention. A sickening smell.

What is that...?

Tsukasa follows the smell.

Tenma?

...

The two look at each other before following behind him. The smell leads Tsukasa to a red box. He approached the box and touched it gently. It was...wet? He carefully opened the box.

HER EYES WERE OUT. HER EARS WERE STUFFED IN HER MOUTH. HER TEETH WAS IN THE EYE SOCKETS. HER HAIR WAS MESSY. THERE WAS BLOOD. EVERYTHING WAS BLOOD. TSUKASA YOU IDIOT. YOU SWORE TO PROTECT HER. YOU BROKE IT. YOU IDIOT. YOU TRAITOR.

In present day...

So, that's why you were so affected by her death?

Mhm...

That doesn't explain the scars on your arms!

They're old Saki...

I don't care!

Sigh...

But I still don't get how a massacre in the place your high school was, is linked to Ena's death?

I...When we all moved...I promised...I...hic...I promised myself none of you would g-get hurt...I promised to protect you all from anything that can hurt you...but sniff...now...Ena's dead...I couldn't...I can't keep these kinds of promises...I can't protect a-anyone! Sob...what if you die next...? Or Kanade...? Or Asahina...?! Sob...I feel so hopeless...and scared...I don't want to see all of you-...sobbing!!

Brother...

Saki hugs Tsukasa tightly.

Don't worry brother...I'll make sure we're safe...

You will never lose me.

Tags: @aspenii @bobcross1010 @blankblyke @delartz @kusanagi-nene-official-mod @th3-sm1l3r @kiwi-does-stuff @mai-mai-mai @mizuribbons @scodscod