#I had a weird week and I updated this on like Sunday or something and then stuff kept piling up and I kept putting this off
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can't wait to soar (charlos, model!actor au)
chapter 1 - something we can build
chapter 2 - hey i'm just like you (a little messed up and blue)
chapter 3 - we could be so good
chapter 4 - a wandering heart
Charles didnât cook, as Carlos would soon discover.
#charlos#I took an eternity with this one because I forgot to post it on here basically#I had a weird week and I updated this on like Sunday or something and then stuff kept piling up and I kept putting this off#I got a comment last night and went oh mother of jesus I forgot about posting this on tumblr#so!#now with an updated chapter limit let's see if author can keep that or will author go off another tangent and ends up writing so much more#and by author I mean my own wandering brain that keeps coming up with ideas and things I can do either with this fic or another one idk#can't wait to soar#my stuff#my fic#my fic writing
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Life After Info Post
[Click here to access the Life After Digital Comic Book]
Summary: Two years ago, a viral outbreak rose the dead. Considering how his life had gone up to this point, surgeon Trafalgar Law figured this might as well happen too. When a supply run into the nearby city gets intercepted by a seemingly reckless and impulsive former patient, the dependable routine Law had settled into in this new life shatters. He finds himself exposed â his body out in the infected landscape, his conscious clawing to define what he believes is right, his heart begrudgingly deciding to find a new home on his sleeve. Maybe thereâs more than a virus roaming the new world that can bring a dead man back to life.
Content Warnings: Canon typical violence, zombies/body horror (but lbr I am not good at making scary things look scary)
Relationships: Luffy x Law
Update Schedule: New page every Monday/Wednesday/Friday
Page Count: [37 posted | 55 drawn]
Latest Update: [7/21/24] WOWEE did I get myself carried away this morning. I just spent 5 hours organizing my comics and creating the digital comic book pages. I could have spent that time drawing or idk not doing what I do for my job, but I cannot be stopped. Anyway I blocked out 30 pages of this comic last week and they include the most intense action sequence I've ever done in my gotdang life. Wish me luck because I am nervous about tying down all my drawings lmao.
OLD UPDATES:
[6/29/24] HULLO! I'm doing so bad at keeping my masterposts updated lately I am sorry. All pages of life after are tagged life after if you're ever looking between masterpost updates! Also exciting update, I finally have figured out all the different plot points i'm gonna be hitting (yay!). I got hung up on something for awhile that made me not wanna work on this project, but I'm back at it. I think we'll end up with 6-7 parts! I have probably another 80-100 pages to draw lol. Also i got the app Magic Poser and it's AWESOME and I immediately used it to block out sets cuz MAN I hate backgrounds.
[6/10/24] HELLO. I'm sorry I've been shit at updating my masterposts lately. It's easiest to do from my computer, which I rarely use, and life has been happening. I also can't believe I bungled the queue and posted pg19 before pg18 i am very sorry 𤌠Eventually I'll have to turn this into an airtable base I'm sure, but until that day comes where I have like 100 pages of this comic we're stickin to the regular post lmao
[5/26/23] I got real caught up in doing summer of lawlu comics this week and this is the first week since the first week of April I haven't drawn new Life After pages and it feels weird đ
[5/19/24] More Luffy backstory comin' this week! :^)
[5/12/24] Updating now so get myself on schedule to update on Sundays like I had been with my other comic master post!
[5/8/24] Thank you to everyone who's liked/reblogged/comment on the first few pages!! It means the world to me that anyone's reading my silly little comics.
[4/28/24] HULLO. Itâs happeninnng. Iâve spent the last few weeks working on this comic, and I gotta make this post so I can start queuing pages & link this in them! This is the most likeâŚ.legit? Comic endeavor Iâve undertaken perhapsâŚ.ever. Iâm very nervous about committing to how long it will need to be lol. This story is dear to my heart â zombie content is kind of my very favorite. Iâve always found it to be a great backdrop for exploring themes like grief, coping with change, community, and learning to live again. Itâll be a long haul but I hope youâll ride it out with me!! Tomorrow Iâll be posting the first two pages. After that a page will post every Monday/Wednesday/Friday. As of this post Iâve completed over 20 pages so that I have a good lead on whatâs posting and continuing to write, so Iâm hopeful thatâs a cadence Iâll be able to maintain. Iâll update this post weekly to include the most recent pages the way I do with my main comics master post. All pages will be tagged 'Life After' and I'll tag any pages with zombies in them with 'zombie' for blacklisting etc.
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Part 6: Leaps of Faith
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 7
I hope that you catch me, cause I'm already falling (you put your arms around me and I'm home)
(In which a writer who can see the end approaching starts building towards that ending)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Angst and Fluff
Words: 8.0K
TW: Swearing, Alludes to Sexual Content
A/N: Good evening my lovelies <3. Happy Sunday and Happy Mothers day! First of all, I wanna thank y'all for being ever so patient with me. I know I've been pretty bad about updating lately and y'all have been so sweet with your asks and I really appreciate it. This fic is very close to its end. I probably could have ended it with this chapter but there's a very specific ending I want to write so this one is more of a self-indulgent filler but I think y'all will like this one. There will be one more chapter and then an epilogue of sorts. Once again, there are most likely logistical inaccuracies. I'm not even gonna lie, the editing on this one is shoddy so there are definitely grammar errors/typos. For now, ignore them and I'll go fix them later. As always, even if we're near the end, feel free let me know what you liked, what you didn't and anything you'd like to see before we get to the end. Have a wonderful week my angels <3
April 2024Â
âItâs a little early for ice cream hon,â Azzi jumps at the sound of her motherâs voice, startled eyes following the direction of the noise to find Katie leaning against the kitchen door, with a raised eyebrow.Â
âItâs a little early to scare the living bejesus out of me mom,â she says with a hand to her chest.Â
If possible, Katieâs eyes roll even further at her daughterâs sarcastic tone as she makes her way over to the kitchen counter. Sheâs gotten herself a spoon and everything, ready to steal some ice cream for herself, when she notices the flavour. Next to her, Azzi stiffens.Â
âYou hate mint chocolate chip Az,â Katie says quietly.Â
âI couldnât find the strawberry ice cream,â Azzi defends stubbornly, her face taking on a guarded expression.Â
Katie walks over to the freezer, opening it and pointing at the strawberry ice cream, Azziâs favourite, thatâs sitting in plain sight, âitâs right there.â
âWell,â Azzi splutters, âIâm trying something new,â.Â
âYou hate trying new things.â
âIâve grown up I guess.â
âAzzi.â
âMom.â
âAzzi, why are you eating ice cream you hate at 4 in the morning?â Katie finally asks in her best mom voice, sighing when she gets a mumbled response from her daughter, âin words Az, please.â
âPaige likes it,â Azzi admits slowly, and before Katie can say anything, before Azzi can dwell on what sheâs said, she launches into a rant, âgod knows why. Actually I know why because sheâs stupid and weird and likes the dumbest shit. Who the fuck likes mint? Who the fuck likes mint and chocolate together? Gross. This shit is disgusting. It tastes all wrong. Paige is just-,â Azzi throws her hands up in the air, âshe just doesnât understand that some things donât belong together. They canât. Theyâre too different and it just- thereâs a fucking balance to things you know? And she just- she doesnât get that. Itâs just- itâs not meant to be.â
âThat doesnât explain why youâre eating it right now,â Katie says carefully.Â
âBecause I miss her,â the truth bursts out of Azzi like an erupting volcano, burning itself into every crevice of her skin, âbecause for some fucking reason I donât hate the taste of mint chocolate chip. Because maybe they do go together and maybe Iâve been the stupid one this whole time.â
Since sheâd stepped out of the hotel in Cleveland, all Azzi could think about was going back, saying fuck it to all the useless logic sheâd come up with and going back to the only thing in her life that had ever made sense her Paige. But as it often did in that clichĂŠd battle between head and heart, her head had won out. And sheâs never questioned why her head wins so much, why sheâs always chosen to listen to the practical side of her brain, until now. Until now when the urge to turn back time, to make herself stay in that hotel room, is all thatâs consumed her for the last week.Â
âAzzi,â Katie wraps her arms around the younger girl, âwhat happened with you and Paige?â
Azzi hesitates for a second and then everythingâs spilling out of her lips, the good, the bad, the inbetween, all of it tumbles out like an uncontrollable waterfall. Thereâs something freeing about being able to say it all out loud, something freeing about the tears Azzi finally lets roll down her cheeks. She grips the edge of the counter to keep herself from keeling over, starting to feel herself crumble under the heaviness of all these stupid feelings.Â
âIt shouldnât be this hard,â Azzi whispers, âwe used to be so easy.â
âOh Az,â Katie rubs a thumb against her daughterâs cheek, âyou used to be kids. Youâre all grown up now. Itâs always harder when youâre older.â
âWell, I donât like it. I just want to be the way we were again.â
âSo why donât you?â Katie asks like itâs the most simple solution in the world and Azzi shoots her mother an exasperated look.Â
âWhat do you mean? How do we even do that? We canât be just friends again. We tried. Were you not listening at all?â
âAzzi, sweetheart, youâve never been just friends.â
âThatâs not true,â itâs a futile attempt at arguing against whatâs become more of a fact than an opinion in Azziâs life. Itâs a truth sheâd let herself acknowledge once and then buried deep within her, scared that once unleashed, it would ruin everything. Except, it turns out, even without it, things had still turned to dust. Â
âDo you remember when you came home from Minnesota that first summer with Paige? You were either moping around or you were on call with her. There was no in between. It got better eventually, the moping stopped but the calls? I think you fell asleep on facetime with her almost every night. And you were tired every morning after, you barely had time to eat before school but every time I suggested that maybe you cut back, that was never an option,â Katie smiles fondly, âitâs when I knew.â
Azzi does remember, remembers talking about everything and nothing, remembers laughing and crying, remembers when Paigeâs breathing was the only lullaby that could relax her into sleeping. And she remembers battling with that voice in her head, the one convinced thereâs something more, silencing it with Iâd do this with anyone. But that wasnât true then and itâs not true now because Paige has never been just anyone, never been just a friend. Because even if Azziâs never been brave enough to say it out loud, Paige is and has always been everything.
Despite knowing the answer and maybe dreading it just a little bit, Azzi asks it to her mom anyway, âwhat did you know?â
âThat she was your person. You were too young, I couldnât call it love just yet but I knew Paige was different then, she was yours in a way none of your other friends were. You were different around her,â Katie nudges her daughter, âAzzi youâve always been just a little bit in love with her and sheâs always been just a little bit in love with you too. The two of you have just been a matter of time.â
Azzi closes her eyes, and unlike other people, she doesnât see darkness or little spots of light, she just sees Paige. Her motherâs words wash over her, like acid in her self-inflicted fight the feelings wounds and yet, the idea of sheâs loved me too feels like a band-aid being delicately placed on the scars of her heart.Â
âAnd place,â she whispers, eyes still closed, âwe never seem to get time and place right.â
âWhy do you need to?â
Another exasperated look is sent Katieâs way at that question, âwe live on different sides of the country mom, what do you mean why do we need to?â
âI mean the two of you have barely ever been in the same place. But you made it work, when you had even less, when you felt even less. But youâre adults now. You have other resources now. And I know timing is difficult but- itâs you and Paige. What are you so scared of Azzi?â
Azzi sucks in a deep breath, âwhat if Paige runs away again?â
âWhat if you run away again?â
âExcuse me?âÂ
âWho was the last person to walk away, Azzi?,â Katie sighs when Azzi is adamantly silent, âI know she hurt you by leaving. I know she hurt you by pushing you away. But you did the same thing. You chose UCLA,â Katie holds up a hand when a frustrated Azzi tries to interrupt, âand it was the right decision for you Azzi and she should have supported it. But that doesnât meant you didnât hurt her and then you chose Zoe-â
âI didnât choose Zoe-â
âYes you did Azzi. Sweetheart youâre my daughter and I will always tell you the complete truth even if itâs not what you wanna hear. And the truth Azzi is that Paige might have hurt you in 101 different ways but that doesnât mean you didnât hurt her back in 99 different ways too.â
âYou think I donât know that?â Azzi whispers, âthatâs the problem mom. It hurts when she hurts me but it hurts even more when I hurt her. I donât want that for us but I just- I just donât know how to stop it without stopping us.â
âYou havenât even tried, baby. Paige held out a hand and you ran away.â
âShe left first. How am I supposed to trust that she wonât just do that again," all thatâs missing from Azziâs stubborn whine is a foot stomp.
âBecause she came back. It took her a little bit, I know, but she came back and sheâs ready to fight, the question is, are you?â
âWhy are you defending her?â Azzi splutters, âwhoâs side are you even on?â
âThere are no sides to this sweetheart. The two of you are on the same side. So maybe instead of fighting against her, take that hand, fight with her.â
***
The WNBA draft is a momentous occasion this year. With a hyped draft class like no other, and the promise of even greater ones in the future, thereâs a sense of celebratory hope dangling in the air. When the invite had first come in, Azzi had known the same one would be sent to a certain blonde in Connecticut as well. And a part of her had wanted to hide herself away from that possible collision, but every other part of her wanted nothing more than to get just a glimpse of the blonde.
One moment Azzi is surrounded by flashing cameras and the echo of her name on everyoneâs lips, the next everything around her is fading away her eyes meet Paigeâs on the other end of the WNBA draft orange carpet. Itâs nothing new really. Since sheâs met her, the blonde has commandeered all of Azziâs attention whenever sheâs nearby. Sometimes it feels like all of her other five senses fade away to give birth to a secret sixth one, one thatâs solely dedicated to Paige, one thatâs terrifyingly all-consuming. And yet, despite the heaviness of weâve said too many goodbyes, for the first time in what feels like eternity, Azzi feels like she can finally breathe.Â
And then Paige looks away.Â
And Azziâs back to struggling for air.Â
Itâs selfish of her, she knows, to expect something, not when sheâd been the one to leave them stranded on different islands. But Azzi doesnât seem to think logically when it comes to Paige and even as she tries to turn her focus back to posing for the camera, every inch of her body is dangerously aware of the blondeâs every move, just a mere few feet away from her. Her conversation with her mother is echoing in her head, giving rise to dangerous desires of what if i grabbed your hand and we ran away together.Â
Paige is a natural on the orange carpet, all dazzling smiles and twinkling eyes. She glides through it, inching closer and closer to Azzi, but never giving away any sense of discomfort. And if it was anybody else, maybe theyâd never catch onto the nerves hidden beneath Paigeâs facade of calm, cool and collected. But once upon a time Paige used to be Azziâs favourite puzzle and she has every part of the blonde committed to memory. Itâs in the way Paigeâs teeth gnaw at her lips for the briefest of seconds, in the way her right index finger is begging to tap a beat against where her hands rests on hips, in the way sheâs blinking just one too many times.Â
And then with one more heavy footed step from Paige, the distance between them is barely a couple inches and they let out identical breaths of air, both of them keeping their focus on the cameras in front of them. Itâs loud, too loud, and still all Azzi can focus on is the sound of Paige breathing. The air around them is thick with tension. It feels a bit like theyâre silhouetted against a sky made of words theyâve left unsaid and clouds of all the bitter mistakes theyâve made are hanging over their heads. And when their pinkies brush together, and a jolt of electricity sends shivers of I miss you more every day again her skin, Azzi questions if sheâs ever made the right decision when it comes to Paige.Â
âWait wait wait,â Ari cuts in, as she squeezes herself in between the two of them, âI wanna get in between the two of you.â
A harsh cry of no sits heavily on the top of Azziâs tongue as the older woman forces a break in whatever little bit of contact sheâd had with Paige. She feels a little pathetic, the way every little inch of her skin is craving for that touch back. It had been nothing, a barely there moment and still Azzi thinks, when she goes to bed tonight, if that was all sheâd get of Paige, then itâll be the only thing thatâll feature in her dreams.Â
âAlright one with just Paige and Azzi,â Ari directs the media, stepping out of the way and pushing the two younger girls together. And itâs laughable that a little brush of their pinkies had Azzi feeling any type of way because when theyâre suddenly pressed together, every inch of Paigeâs side fitting into Azziâs like it belongs, the way the world suddenly bursts with light and colours makes Azzi wonder if every moment without Paige has simply been monochrome.Â
It comes to them naturally how to pose together, arms winding around each otherâs waist, heads involuntarily leaning against the otherâs. And the smiles might be for the cameras but Azzi knows hers is the most real itâs been all night. It might be temporary, she might lose Paige in the chaos, but for now Paige is here and Azzi has learned how to be content with whatever little she can get.Â
As the media moves to capture other people, the logical thing to do would be to separate, to let go of each other. But instead they stand there, still completely wrapped around each other, heart rates in sync as they breathe in each otherâs presence. And then Paigeâs hand falls from the small of Azziâs back to tangle their fingers together and they let out identical sighs of relief, something so cathartic in the purposefulness of that touch. Everyone is too busy to notice that the two of them have fallen into a whole other world, one where thereâs only two of them and every emotion that theyâve only reserved for the other. Thereâs no words exchanged as Paige guides the two of them out of the spotlight, somehow keeping their hands clasped together in secret, despite the ever growing crowd. And Azzi doesnât know this building at all, doesnât have the faintest clue where sheâs being led to, but as long as itâs Paige pulling her along, she doesnât care where, she thinks sheâd go anywhere.Â
Paige stops abruptly in a secluded corridor, turning to fully face Azzi. And the sincerity in the blondeâs crystalline blue eyes, as they roam every inch of Azziâs body before coming to fixate on her face, steals the air away from Azziâs lungs. Paige has gotten better over the years at building walls, but with every new lock she places on her emotions, thereâs a key to open them that seems to always find its way to Azzi. In the delicate golden hue, Paige shines brighter than any star ever could and in the dim light Azzi can make out every bit of hurt and love and please can we just have this moment that Paige canât put into words.Â
âHi,â Azzi whispers softly, hands itching to reach out and caress Paigeâs skin.Â
âHi,â Paige says back, even quieter. She stares at Azzi as if sheâs memorising every little detail and then her face crumbles. Azzi feels her heart drop at the single tear that trickles down Paigeâs cheek as she lets out a broken whimper. And this, this unspoken power they seem to have over each other, the uncanny ability to just hurt each other without any bit of effort, is what scares Azzi the most. Itâs too much. They shouldnât be able to do this.Â
âPaige,â Azziâs fingers twitch but she hesitates, not knowing if itâs the right thing, âfuck- P whatâs wrong?â
Paige doesnât reply, eyes wandering down to where Azziâs trying to keep her hands still against her sides and when she looks back up, her eyes are bloodshot, âwhatâs wrong? Whatâs not wrong Azzi? You wonât even fucking touch me.â
âI didnât-â Azzi struggles to speak, âI didnât think youâd want me to.â
âCan you just- fuck- can you just stop overthinking things for once in your life. Of course I want you to touch- you know what nevermind. This was a bad idea. You made yourself clear and Iâm just- fuck- I should- I should just go.â
She sounds adamant enough but all it takes, when Paige moves to leave, is the strangled cry that leaves Azziâs lips. The sound is enough to pull Paige right back in. She takes one look at the tears brimming in Azziâs eyes. And then sheâs pushing Azzi against a wall, hands on either side caging the younger girl between her body and the hard surface behind. She presses their foreheads together and Azzi feels like every part of her might just be a part of Paige too.Â
âI miss you. I miss you so fucking much. Itâs barely been two weeks and I- fuck- Azzi- Iâve missed you every single second and now youâre here and I still miss you. And it really fucking hurts.â
âIâm sorry,â Azzi whispers, finally letting her hands cup Paigeâs cheeks, and itâs worth it for the way Paige seems to completely melt into her touch, âIâm sorry I keep hurting you. I keep thinking Iâm doing the right thing but- I donât know- I feel like Iâm always doing the wrong thing when it comes to you. I donât- I donât know what to do.â
âJust let me be with you,â Paigeâs voice is wrecked with desperation as she presses herself as close to Azzi as possible, âIâll be your whatever- whatever you give me- whatever you want- I just- I just want you Az- whatever little bit youâre willing to give me- Iâll take it- and if you want me to wait- fuck Azzi- Iâd wait forever- you know that right? However long it takes, baby. Just want you- just want us.â
Leaps of faith are scary. Azziâs never been great at taking them, too cautious, too much of a worrier. Sheâs more of a step back from the cliff kind of person. If she doesnât jump, she canât fall. But hereâs the thing, when she was fourteen, Azzi jumped off of her first hypothetical cliff. It had been on a plane, when after avoiding one too many deep questions, Azzi had admitted to a girl she barely knew,that maybe she could like girls. It was the first time sheâd ever let herself acknowledge that truth about herself and the girl next to her was a stranger but there was something about her, something that screamed iâll hold your hand and if you jump itâll never be alone. And ever since then, that girl, Paige, has always been there. Hands outstretched, ready to jump off any ledge. Because if thereâs hard ground underneath, then theyâll learn how to fly together and if thereâs water, theyâll figure out how to swim. With Paige there has always been the promise that, whatever it is, theyâll figure it out together. And itâs with that promise in mind, that Azzi takes the leap of faith.Â
âMe too,â Azzi whispers, heart beating erratically.Â
âWhat?â Paige searches Azziâs face, as if waiting for her to take it back.Â
âUs. You. You and me. I want that too,â a ghost of a smile begins to creep onto Azziâs face, and for the first time in god knows how long, she feels feather light, a little bit like sheâs floating on a rainbow.Â
âYou mean it?â Paige asks earnestly, hands moving from the wall to clutch at Azziâs waist, âdonât play-Azzi- okay- you mean it for real?â
âI do. I want this- I want this so much and Iâm still- Iâm still really scared and maybe itâll be a disaster but I- I want to try. With you.â
Azzi used to think she knew all of Paigeâs smiles. Her small, not quite fake, but only for cameras and people she didnât quite know, smiles. Her just for my friends smile that was filled with mirth and childlike joy. Her basketball smile that transformed into a smirk when she got too cocky. Her only for Drew smile, soft and filled with so much adoration and pride. Her Azzi smile, the one only the brown-skinned girl gets to experience, a smile that made Azziâs her heart swell with love. But the smile that stretches across Paigeâs face now, is one Azziâs never seen before. This one throws Azziâs entire world of balance, so bright, so big, so full of emotions. If she could, sheâd tattoo that smile onto her skin forever.Â
âWeâre really doing this?â Paige asks, still a little stunned. It wasnât what Azzi had planned for tonight. She hadnât really had any plans for what would really happen. But then Paige had walked in and all Azzi could see was forever she was tired of fighting against.Â
âWe should take it slow okay-â Azzi wraps her arms around the older girlâs neck, keeping their foreheads still against each otherâs, âI donât- I donât wanna rush into things and fuck it up. I canât- fuck- I canât lose y-â
âYou wonât,â Paige swears, squeezing at Azziâs wait, âI wonât let you. We can take it slow. We can take it however you want- I just- weâre doing this?â
âYeah,â Azzi canât help the grin that fills up her entire face, âyeah weâre doing this.â
And as they surge forward to claim each otherâs lips, and as they meld every inch of themselves into each other, and as they smile and cry into the kiss simultaneously, and as they etch promises into each other skin, and as they let themselves finally fall into each other, for each other, it feels a lot like coming home.Â
***
July 2024Â
The early morning sunlight casts a dark shadow across Paigeâs face, causing the still asleep blonde to scrunch up her face in irritation. Azzi, whoâs been awake for nearly half an hour now, canât help the fond smile that creeps onto her own lips. She shifts herself to block the sun and Paige lets out a content sigh, burrowing herself further into her pillows. And the thing is every moment with Paige is special but thereâs something about waking up to her in the morning. Azziâs always awake first and it gives her ample time to just admire the girl in her arms, blond hair tousled all over her pillow, lips parted slightly open, and one arm always, always, splayed across Azziâs torso, holding her close. Over the course of time, Azziâs found out that the second she moves, Paige seems to feel her leave, waking up instantly.Â
There had been an adjustment period if Azzi's honest. It had taken her a while to shake that fear of Paige not being there in the morning. The first morning, sheâd been scared to open her eyes, even if she could feel Paigeâs presence right next to her. That had been one of the few mornings that Paige was fully awake first, hovering above Azzi to wake her up. And when she finally did get the courage to open her eyes, the first thing Azzi had seen was Paige, blue eyes sparkling with unfiltered adoration, a smile filled with promises of every morning just like this. And that had been enough.Â
Azzi reaches out to brush a hand through Paigeâs soft blond hair, mesmerised by how pretty Paige looks in the morning glow. A lot of Paige belongs to the world now and Azziâs not opposed to sharing really, because someone so fucking perfect, deserves to be celebrated like that. But there are some parts of Paige that belong to Azzi and Azzi only, some parts Azzi cherishes as being only hers. This is one of them and Azzi takes a snapshot of it, knowing sheâll need it to function in a few months, when she wonât get the real thing.Â
âAre you watching Paige sleep?â Azzi almost jumps at the sound of Drewâs voice at the doorway, having been too immersed in Paige to have even heard the door open, âthatâs kinda creepy Azzi.â
âJesus Drew, whatever happened to knocking?â
âI forgot?â Drew grins, before he plops on the bed, the force of it making the whole frame shake a little bit.Â
âDrew!â Azzi chides, âyouâre gonna wake her up.â
Drew cocks his eyebrows, sparing his sister, who seems unphased by the sudden little bit of chaos around her, still fast asleep, an unimpressive look, âplease she can sleep through anything. Besides, itâs already 9. I thought we were gonna do things. I been up for aaaages.â
âSheâll be awake soon,â Azzi smiles, ruffling the younger boy's hair. Drew rolls his eyes and itâs remarkable how much he resembles Paige, not just by face, but the mannerisms too.Â
He huffs for a second before his eyes sparkle with an idea, âwhat if we pour water on her!â
âDrew!â Azzi chastises again, trying not to giggle.Â
âBoo,â Drew crosses his arms across his chest, âyou used to be so cool Azzi.â
Azzi laughs as sheâs reminded of a younger version of herself, scheming with Drew on how to wake Paige up. And itâs not that sheâs beyond that really, tucking the water idea for a rainy day, but Paige looks too peaceful this morning and she wants to preserve that look of serenity on the older girlâs face for just a little bit longer.Â
âHey Azzi,â Drew says after a while and Azzi hums in response, âwhen you and Paige get married, I can still be a groomsman right? Even if thereâs no grooms?â
âWha- where did that come from?â the brunetteâs eyes widened at the question, sitting up a little straighter.Â
Drew peers up at her with all the innocence of a pre-teen, âyou are gonna get married right?â
âI donât-â
âItâs too early for your yapping Drew,â Azziâs saved from answering by Paigeâs tired voice entering the conversation. She looks over to find Paigeâs eyes already on her, a soft smile playing on her lips as she looks up at Azzi. If Drew wasnât sitting right there, Azzi would lean over and kiss her and let Paige deepen it until they were both satisfied.Â
âOh thank god,â Drew cheers dramatically, âI thought you were gonna sleep forever.â
Paige scoffs, the arm thatâs still wrapped around Azziâs torso tightening its hold, âI wish.â
âWell youâre awake now so get up,â Drew whines, moving from his spot on the end of the bed, to flop on top of Paigeâs body instead, âget up, get up, GET UP.â
âGet off,â Paige groans but thereâs no real force behind it. Azzi watches with a fond smile, as Paige flips Drew over so that she can tickle him, eliciting rounds of laughter from the younger boy. Something in her heart flutters, her mind going back to Drewâs question. Sheâs never really been one to think too hard about marriage and children and that domestic suburban life, leaving it up to fate, but now- well, maybe.Â
âOkay aight aight enough. Go get ready for breakfast and weâll be down in a second,â Paige says, ushering Drew off of the bed.Â
âYou can just tell me you want me to leave so you can kiss Azzi you know?â Drew scrunches up his nose, âyou two are gross.â
Paige sends him a stern look and gets a dramatic eye roll in return but as he always does, Drew does as heâs told, mock saluting the two of them and skipping out of the room.Â
âHeâs right by the way,â Paige says softly, turning back to where Azziâs leaning against the backboard, âI do want to kiss you.â
Azzi smirks lopsidedly, âwhatâs stopping you?â
She squeals in surprise when Paige pulls her, the force of it causing both of them to tumble onto the front-end of the bed. Azzi ends up on top of Paige, hands resting around her neck, the blondeâs hands holding her waist in place.Â
âGood morning,â Paige grins, clearly proud of herself as she chases Azziâs lips to pull her into a searing kiss.
âGood morning,â Azzi whispers back, thumb caressing Paigeâs left cheek. Â
âJust so you know,â Paige pulls away, a determined glint in her eyes, âweâre so getting married one day.â
***
October 2024
Azziâs mood has been rancid for the last couple of weeks. Itâs terrible she knows; it makes her irritating to play with and a nightmare to live with. But even if this had been expected, that she would be on one end of the country and her heart would be on the other side, it doesnât stop her from constantly being in a state of missing Paige. And itâs different from before, now that thereâs a certain surety of of course iâll see you soon but soon never really feels soon enough.Â
âAzzi can you please get the door,â Kiki calls from her room when the doorbell rings.Â
âIâm busy,â Azzi grunts back, snuggling further into her pillow with a book she isnât actually reading, âyou go get it.â
âAzzi please, Iâm literally in the middle of getting dressed,â Kiki yells exasperatedly.Â
If it wasnât for the fact that sheâs pretty sure her teammates are about this close to plotting her murder, and deservedly so, Azzi would sink back onto her bed and let the incessant doorbell noise continue. But she does love her teammates, thinks Kiki probably deserves to change in peace, and it forces her out of bed, grumbling away about annoying visitors. Until she actually gets a look at the visitor. Paige stands on the doorstep, confident as ever, a bouquet of roses and peonies and lilies in her hand.Â
âYouâre here,â Azzi breathes out, staring in awe.Â
âAnd thank fucking god she is,â Kiki quips from behind her, âmaybe we can finally get our old happy Azzi back and not this bitch.â
Paige laughs, âwatch how you talk about my girl Rice.â
âYouâre here. Youâre really here,â Azzi whispers again.Â
âI heard you missed me baby,â Paige says, her cocky smirk betrayed by the softness in her voice. And then Azzi is flying into her arms, throwing Paige off balance.Â
âSo fucking much,â Azzi admits into Paigeâs neck, eliciting a giggle from the blonde, âKikiâs right. I have been a bitch.â
âJust a little bit,â Kiki calls out again but thereâs a new fondness in her voice. Itâs funny how her team, even the haters, have slowly become Paige fans. Theyâd been hesitant at first, just like the UConn girls, but now well, it seems the basketball worldâs Montagues and Capulets have learned to accept their star playersâ relationship.Â
âMissed you too Az,â Paigeâs tone is vulnerable as they break away, âalright, go get changed, I wanna take you somewhere.â
âOrâŚ,â Azzi presses her lips to Paigeâs neck, leaving a trail of open-mouthed kisses, âwe could stay here and do something else.â
Paige shivers under her touch, stepping away to keep some semblance of control ân-no I have plans,â but she canât help but kiss Azziâs pout away, âitâll be worth it, I promise. Besides,â she bites at Azziâs ear, âthereâs always later.â
***
âYour big plans are to bring me to the supermarket,â Azzi cocks an eyebrow as they walk down one of the many aisles, âyou turned down sex for this? Should I be offended?â
Paige doesnât say anything, concentratedly looking at signs, trying to figure out a specific section, before an aha! moment dances over her face, and she pulls Azzi with her, the younger girl going willingly, despite the eye roll. She stops triumphantly in front of the sushi section and Azzi looks at her quizzically.Â
âIâm getting you supermarket sushi,â Paige says pointedly, âand then you can get me mac and cheese.â
And if you brought me sushi Iâd have brought you your favourite mac and cheese. Oh. The realisation of what Paige is doing trickles around Azzi a little bit like rain after a long summer drought. She thinks back to the bouquet, everything suddenly making sense.
âYouâre such a dork Paige Bueckers,â Azzi says softly, tapping the older girlâs nose.Â
âYour dork,â Paige grins cheesily, ânow hurry up and pick one. I donât wanna miss the sunset.â
***
Once she catches on it, it doesnât surprise Azzi to find that Paige has everything planned out perfectly, down to the exact spot in the park- the one by Paigeâs recovery airBnB, the one theyâd taken countless walks in trying to repair their friendship- where the two of them can be away from everybody else, in their own little bubble. And she has a picnic blanket, thatâs a little small but they donât really want space from each other anyways. They lean against a tree, food set up in front of them, Paigeâs laptop, carefully piled on top of a couple of books to be the perfect height, set a little bit further away.Â
âSo what NBA game are we watching?â Azzi asks with a smile and Paige groans, âwhat? Was that not part of the plan?â
âDude come on. Itâs the beginning of October. Please tell me you know the NBA season isnât happening yet,â Paige rubs her temple, only a little endeared by the comment, âare you sure youâre a basketball player?âÂ
âThere are games in October. I swear Iâve seen them before,â Azzi says sceptically.Â
âYeah at the very end of the month, not right now.â
âWell then close enough,â Azzi says indignantly, âI donât need to know the exact day.â
âWhatever you say baby,â Paige acquiesces with a smirk and it earns her an elbow to the stomach, âwhat the fuck? That shitâs domestic violence you know?â
âBig words Bueckers, didnât think you knew them,â Azzi teases, placing a kiss against Paigeâs offended expression, before settling herself against the blondeâs side, sighing contentedly when she gets a kiss on her temple in return. Theyâre clichĂŠ enough to put on Love and Basketball, but Azzi doesnât really end up watching much at all. In between slow kisses, she almost falls asleep a couple of times, the comfort of Paigeâs arms like a blanket wrapping her in the warmth of this is my fairytale.Â
âTHE POLAROID,â Paigeâs shout breaks Azzi out of her haze as she feels her body being shaken off, the blonde rummaging through her bag for the camera, âwe have to take the polaroid. My wall needs it.â
âOh yeah a tiny polaroid picture of us inbetween all your Lebron posters, a perfect fit,â Azzi drawls only to be met with a scathing look from Paige.Â
âItâs for important things and Lebron is the most important of them all,â Paige explains with complete seriousness, as she finally finds the polaroid camera and shimmies back to Azzi with it in hand.Â
The sunset is beautiful. Pink, purple, orange and blue, all blending together to create the perfect picture. But Azzi thinks itâs not nearly as beautiful as the girl in front of her, not nearly as beautiful as the date Paige had planned, not nearly as beautiful as the future she can so clearly see now. Her mind drifts back to the night of the phone call, and she can almost hear Paigeâs sobs again, can still hear her own voice breaking. Back then, they had seemed impossible, a butterfly like dream that danced out of their grasp.Â
âHey,â Paige captures her chin with two fingers, âwhereâd you go?â
Azzi shakes her head, ânowhere. Iâm right here. With you. Where I should be.â
âSappy goof,â Paige snorts but she kisses Azzi like sheâll take those words and hide them in the labyrinth of her mind, protect them there forever.Â
Taking the picture is a task, both of them bickering about angles and lights. Itâs unnecessary arguing, in true Paige and Azzi fashion really but thereâs something so mundanely domestic about it that Azzi finds herself wanting to memorise this moment too. They finally get the frame just right, somewhere in between what they both wanted. Azzi smiles at the camera, her Paige smile, as the blonde in question presses her lips against her cheeks.Â
Click.Â
And Azzi hopes, that however many years later, when they have a home of their own, amidst all the photos that theyâll take over the next years, this one will be hung somewhere on their wall, a testament to finally realising every dream theyâd dared to dream together.Â
***
December 2024Â
There are pebbles being thrown at her window and Azzi has to stop herself from laughing when she peers down to see Paige, freezing cold in the Virginia December air, staring up at her with a goofy smile. She shakes her head when her phone rings, knowing itâs Paige and answers it with her own foolish grin.Â
âWhat exactly are you doing?â Azzi asks, âcome back to bed.â
âYou said I was unromantic. Iâm trying to be romantic,â Paigeâs teeth chatter in the cold, as she balances her phone in one hand, still throwing rocks with the other.Â
âI didnât say that and throwing rocks at my window is supposed to be romantic? Youâre going to wake the whole house up.â
âThatâs what they do in all the good rom coms. And you said and I quote âweâre kind of boringâ. You might be boring Azzi Fudd but I most definitely am not.â
It had been a throwaway comment Azzi had made at dinner with some friends from high school. One of her friends had been going on and on about some adventurous trip that she and her boyfriend were going on, and then asked Paige and Azzi if they had any of that planned. To which Azzi had replied that they were a little too busy, considering they were college basketball players still in season, and besides they were âkind of boringâ people. She hadnât meant it in any type of way. Personally, Azzi likes boring. Paige however, seemed to have taken the comment to heart and Azzi had woken up at 2 a.m. to an empty bed and the sound of something being thrown at her window.Â
âOkay Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry. You're really interesting baby and the most romantic person in the world. Now will you please come back to bed,â Azzi concedes, already missing the feeling of being cuddled up in her blankets with Paigeâs body heat keeping her nice and toasty.Â
âNo,â Paige says indignantly, âcome down here.â
âPaige, it's freezing. Itâs gonna start snowing any minute.â
âExactly. Thatâs exciting.â
âSleep is exciting,â Azzi whines, but sheâs already padding around her room looking for a warm sweater, grumbling under her breath about the warm California sun sheâs missing. She tiptoes down the staircase, wincing at the one step that creaks just a little too much, before pushing herself out the door. And itâs freezing cold, thereâs sleep in her eyes, but itâs all worth it Azzi thinks, itâll always be worth it, just to experience Paigeâs smile.Â
âKnew youâd come,â Paige grins cockily, mittened hands pulling Azzi into her.
âYeah yeah. What are we even doing?â
âAzzi Fudd,â Paige bellows dramatically, âmay I have this dance.â
Azzi stares at Paigeâs outstretched hand wondering if this is some sort of cry for help, but one look at Paigeâs face tells her that the girl in front of her is being absolutely serious.Â
âThis is your idea of exciting? Dancing in the street while itâs freezing with no music?â Azzi raises an eyebrow, but she takes Paigeâs hand.Â
âItâs spontaneous,â Paige says the last word with a flourish, as she spins Azzi, âwhy not dance in the street when itâs freezing with no music?â
And well, thatâs a fair point. If anyone were to look out their window that night, theyâd probably think the two girls were somewhat crazy. Laughing and giggling and tripping over each other as Paige hums a melody and Azzi occasionally joins in. Itâs ridiculous and corny and clichĂŠ and perfect. And then the first little bit of snow falls, white drops circling around the two dancing girls, snowflakes catching on their eyelashes. The dim glow of the streetlight is enough to catch identical smiles on the two girlâs faces as they revel in each other.Â
âYou know some people say if you make a wish during the first snowfall, itâll come true,â Paige whispers, still waltzing the two of them around, cheek pressed to Azziâs, âyou wanna try?â
And the thing is Azzi doesnât really believe in all of that, in magic but something about Paige, something about this moment feels magical. It makes a believer out of Azzi.Â
âYeah,â Azzi smiles, âletâs make a wish.â
They stand still, holding hands, eyes closed, both a little breathless, as they make their wishes. And when they open them, if it feels a little bit like maybe their wishes have already been granted, well theyâll share it in a secret smile but never out loud. After all, wishes donât come true if you speak of them.Â
***
April 2025
7 seconds to go in the National Championship and Azziâs UCLA Bruins are down by two points. Itâs her last chance, having already declared for the 2025 WNBA draft, to win a national championship, to bring home their first basketball national championship since the 1978 team that had won the AIAW championship, to win their first NCAA championship ever. It had taken some sheer luck to get to this point if Azziâs honest. As a two-seed in the Spokane region, theyâd benefitted from their one-seed having been eliminated early and then getting to face a Cinderella six-seed in the final four. On the other side of the bracket, UConn, the favourites coming for a repeat, had been stunned by another team, the team that UCLA was now facing. That had caused a bit of a second-hand sting and Azziâs not really trying to take revenge for Paige, but it'd be a lie to say the get back at them for me babe from earlier this morning isnât ringing in her head.Â
The play is simple, set screens for Azzi, get her open, get her the ball. A two would get them to a tie and three would win it outright. Either will do. Itâs a little too reminiscent of last year when Azzi had failed at tying the final 4 game and she can still feel that loss on the tips of her fingers. They break out from their last timeout, breathlessly running to their spots on the floor. The whistle blows, Kiki inbounds the ball and everything is a blur. All Azzi knows is the shot clock is winding down. She runs off of what feels like a million screens. And then sheâs open on the wing, for a millisecond. A perfect pass from Kiki makes sure the ball lands straight in Azziâs hand. And she doesnât think, doesnât breathe, doesnât even notice the defender put up a hand, she shoots the ball. Thereâs two people on the court that know for sure that ball is going in the minute it leaves Azziâs fingers, the shooter herself and her biggest fan in the stands, whoâs been just a little bit in love with that shooting stroke, since before anything else had even begun.Â
With a delicate swish, the ball falls through the net, the buzzer sounds around the arena, the crowd explodes in blue and gold, as the UCLA Bruins win the 2025 national championship.Â
Everything stills in Azziâs brain for a second, her thoughts taking a second to catch up to reality. Sheâs never really been one to emotion on the court, keeping herself steely guarded through most games, even at the very end. But now, triumph and pride and just utter happiness at finally achieving one of her biggest dreams, comes roaring to the surface, manifesting itself throughout her entire body, as she lets out a scream of joy. Her teammates engulf her and she gets lost in a sea of hugs and tears and bright, decadent smiles.Â
As thing start to calm down, thereâs really only one thing on Azziâs mind and Paigeâs words echo in her ears, because if Iâm gonna end up fucking crying, then I want it to be on your shoulder. And if Iâm gonna end up celebrating, I want it to be in your arms. And Azzi thinks maybe Paige had discovered one of the biggest truths of their life with that, the truth that at the end of day, in any moment, big or small, happy or sad, the one person Azzi wants next to her, is her Paige. Itâs been that way since she was fourteen, and too young to really understand the meaning of wanting someone forever, and she thinks if she has her way, itâll be like that for the rest of her life, the rest of their life.Â
Paige is beaming in the crowd, standing next to Jon and JosĂŠ, a #35 jersey proudly adorning her torso. She waves when she catches Azziâs eyes, always her biggest cheerleader. And Azzi throws caution to the wind, fuck it, not caring that thereâs still a large crowd or that cameras are likely to follow her every move. She pushes her way into the stands, stopping right in front of the blonde.Â
âOn a scale of one to ten, how bad would kissing you right now be?â Azzi asks, still a little breathless.Â
A myriad of emotions flicker through Paigeâs face before settling on a mischievous smirk, âprobably pretty bad but you should do it anyways.â
Azzi grins before merging their lips together and everything else fades to the background, until sheâs consumed by nothing but Paige. They break apart far quicker than either of them would like and Azzi expects to feel just a little bit of fear at what sheâs just done, likely given the media a spectacle they could run a million and one stories about but instead, with her forehead still pressed against Paigeâs, she feels nothing but calm.Â
âIâm so in love with you,â Azzi whispers and Paigeâs eyes widen. Theyâve known it for a while now but itâs the first time either of them have said it.Â
âSay it again,â Paige demands.Â
âIâm so in love with you,â Azzi says again, grinning so hard, she thinks it might become her permanent expression, âlike really fucking in love with you.â
âIâm so in love with you,â Paige whispers, pulling Azzi into a bone-crushing hug.Â
And this might not be the moment where everything finally comes together. Thereâs still so much life left to live, so much that they still need to work through, so much theyâve yet to deal with. But for now, Azzi has a national championship and she has the love of her life, the rest will work itself out, or so she hopes.
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GL odds and ends 10 November 2024
Still feeling out how regularly it makes sense to do this; first one was 2 weeks ago on 6 October, second was--oops--3 weeks ago on 20 October. If you're interested in GL older than that, check out my GL rec list through Feb 2024 and my update in July 2024. New series marked with an asterisk*.
Currently airing (with thoughts up to 10 Nov):
*The Fragrance You inherit 1/8 (Japanese, Friday/Saturday-ish, no official distribution but fansub on @isaksbestpillow's blog [thank you Siiri!] I wrote about episode 1 already, but just to keep it all in one place: this one looks great. Not really a GL, more a family drama with a lesbian at the center of the story. I'm doubtful we're going to actually get anything other than closure for the romance in this one.
Pluto ep 4/12 (Thai, Saturdays 9:30 AM EDT, YouTube) This plot continues to be absolutely wild (at this point both of them have suspected the other of being involved in attempted murder?!) but Namtan and Film stay gorgeous and serving so I am still tuned in.
Apple My Love ep 5/7 (Thai, Saturdays 11:45 AM EDT, GagaOOLala and YouTube) This show is very sweet and continues to hold up the recent Kongthup pattern of being great about things like sidestepping the most annoying drama tropes, showing great friendship dynamics including asking your friends about sex, and in this one, excellent sibling dynamics too.
The Loyal Pin ep 15/16 (Thai, Sundays 12:15 PM EDT, YouTube) Anin remains so brave. This latest episode felt a little like we rushed to the finish line, but I've really enjoyed the way this show has handled things overall to date. The show continues to enjoy faking us out in previews so I'm not going to speculate on the ending until we get it.
Red Whisper ep 7/8 (Korea, [schedule is kinda unpredictable; vaguely every 5 days??], YouTube) Oof we've graduated to actively upsetting me with the way this show has depicted nonmonogamy and bisexuality. For the record: Not all bisexuals are nonmonogamous, and entering a monogamous relationship under false pretenses and then acting like your partner is being unreasonable by not wanting an open relationship is shitty behaviour.
*The Nipple Talk 5/10 (Taiwanese, weird schedule: the first 5 dropped on Nov 8 and the last 5 will air Nov 22, GagaOOLala) I honestly owe this show a separate post, it is great! This is an ensemble show with the main character being a heterosexual woman but her two besties are a gay man and a lesbian woman, and the show follows all of them through relationship issues. There is a lot of sex, great conversations about sex, and different relationship styles from one night stand casual flings, to nonmonogamous casual regular sex partners, to long term monogamous relationships. It is very funny, fun, and charming as all hell. It's made a couple small stumbles in the first 5 episodes but I'm still enjoying it a lot. If you liked Diary of Tootsies, this is highly recommended!
Recently Completed:
Reverse 4 U 8eps (Thai, 3 Sept-22 Oct 2024, Netflix / YouTube) I did not like this finale--in the end I was sad where we ended up with this show and I hope we get to see these actors in something else. Also looking forward to more genre GL, which is in the works!
Unlock Your Love 8eps (Thai, 11 Sept-30 Oct 2024, GagaOOLala / YouTube) This show was a little slow, but it stayed cute and relatively low stakes, and the actors had excellent chemistry when they were allowed to do their thing, which was relatively often--I appreciated the amount of good kissing in this show lol. The plot meandered, and we forgot we were in a worklpace GL by the end, but I enjoyed this in spite of that.
Chaser Game W s2 8eps (Japanese, 19 Sept-7 Nov 2024, GagaOOLala) @lurkingshan is already doing a great summary of this week to week in her JQL weekly round-up, but I'll add my thoughts to the finale here. Honestly this show did not do it for me for several reasons, but the main thing this final arc did that bothered me was introduce lesbian motherhood as a serious conflict, and then seemed to suggest that homophobia only exists because queer people are not brave enough. It rubbed me the wrong way. Plus the boss who sexually harassed characters in the first season was back to sexually harass characters in the second season with no consequence. I think this show was trying to do to much and as a result it didn't feel coherent.
Recent One-offs, Side Couples, etc.:
A very short and cute Chinese GL Oh General! My General! aired on bilibili and was subtitled by @douqi7s on YouTube This short manages to speedrun training, shared bath, cheek kiss, forced separation, timeskip, and happy ending in 2 minutes
The sapphic backstory in The Hidden Moon concluded with a happy-in-the-afterlife ending
We also got more of the Aim as a Lesbian plotline in the new Love Sick 2024 remake again (this was not a plotline in the 2014 version and it's one of the changes I really like and that I think works really well; her conversation with her mother was a good scene)
The Thai lakorn The Empress of Ayodhaya had a kiss that earned very high ratings on Thai television (This show does not have international distribution so I can't cover it in any detail unfortunately)
Sastra film app YouTube channel has several short Cambodian GL series that come out weekly Honestly they are not to my taste but I don't like gatekeeping GL especially from smaller markets. I check in on these time to time and if there are any that I think are great I'll give them a shout-out
Ditto above with JPC media YouTube channel for Thai GL shorts if there are any that stand out to me I'll say so; that being said I haven't had time recently so if I've missed anything good let me know!
Starting soon:
My Ex's Wedding [in theatres in Thailand 14 November]
Mom Ped Sawan, Thai, 17 November [international distribution uncertain; it should be on VIPA app with subs, but that is region-locked]
Petrichor, Thai, 23 November, iQIYI
Mate, Thai, 26 November, WeTV
#gl series#gl recs#gl meta#sapphic media#typed so that i can stop thinking it#kimi no tsugu kaori wa#the fragrance you inherit#pluto the series#apple my love#the loyal pin#red whisper#the nipple talk#reverse 4 you#unlock your love the series#chaser game w
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The Beach Omake And Authorial Intent
initially i was going to save this for a big teru analysis i had cooking however i eventually ended up deciding that it would feel like a really long tangent in its original context and probably deserves a separate post.
when it comes to the whole "teru's parents" thing i generally see two competing ideas on it
a. terus absent parents are the real villains of mob psycho and are the direct cause of everything wrong with his life and any and all teru analysis must center around this fact
b. terus parents being absent in the first place is only revealed in an omake and only exists for plot convenience and is not something that should be focused on at all when writing him
and whenever i see either of these my mind always drifts to the question of authorial intent. i know how people are reading this information, but how are we supposed to? i know death of the author is becoming more of a common thing in fandom spaces (albeit usually misused) but i feel like a better understanding of why this omake exists and how we're supposed to read it might help to better synthesize two takes that seems to be completely at odds with each other.
okay first i want to go over the actual placement of the beach omake in the update schedule of the manga because, unlike most other omakes, i feel like this ones placement in the schedule of page releases is actually super relevant
the vast majority of omakes come at the end of weekly updates. you finish reading the usually 15-20 pages ONE put out and then you get a little bonus comic at the end, usually something funny or a slice of life but but occasionally more serious. multi part omakes are usually spread out over multiple updates, making you wait a couple weeks for a punchline.
beach omake is not that. between chapters 99 (mob gets hit by a car) and 100 (the whole rest of the omake) there was a 6 week hiatus from normal pages and in this hiatus is where we get beach omake. reading it all together immediately cuts away the sort of "slice of life sunday paper comic" tone other multi part omakes have and make you read it as a part of the actual main story, since that's how you're used to reading these weekly updates.
now the actual tone. generally the multi part omakes exist to be long punchlines and the rare emotional ones are a single page for maximum impact. beach omake has a very different structure compared to, say, the haunted doll omake or the pot of happiness.
off the bat from the first two pages there's not really a joke. the tone mostly seems kind of melancholic. mobs expression for the middle section of the second page (maybe purposely) is obscured by the panel breaking off, it's hard to tell his reaction, all our attention is directed at teru. with all of the panels taken up by dialogue (primarily his own), we're being asked to focus on what he's saying:
-teru lives alone
-he lives alone because his parents live overseas
-he hasnt seen them in a while
-he doesnt like having nothing to do
-he doesnt like being alone
all of this information is delivered with an extremely casual expression from him, implying that it's not something that seems ll the out of the ordinary for him. mob, on the other hand...
the hesitation before he says anything and the way his expression is obscured seems to imply something is... off... about this information to him. this isn't a handwaved "oh mob is walking home from school after passing out because he needs to for plot reasons", we're reacting to this information like it's weird.
the next two pages are, mostly, a lot more of what we expect out of a mob psycho omake. the first one works as a standalone joke page, teru is bad at identifying animals which leads to him showing reigen a roach, something reigen is terrified of, instead of a beetle.
the second page starts similarly, we get a dumbass joke about reigen trying to pick up women at the beach (note: i think this is the singular time we get an indication reigen is even into women) but then the next two panels take on a more melancholic tone again. we get a small panel of mob and ritsu playing on the beach and a much, much larger panel of teru sitting on the beach, watching them. the dialogue bubble forces us to pay attention to the fact that he is silent.
the ending of this omake is where we bring it home. generally the last panel centers the punchline of the page, or of the whole omake, but the final panel of this isn't really what was being built to in this case.
we start our second page on teru. his expression is obscured, reigens speech bubble is shoved to the side so we can see that teru's hat is being held in his hands.
when we see his face in full view he looks... confused. he looks like he doesn't know how to react to someone going through all this trouble for him. teru is a character who, up to this moment, we have seen as extremely independent. he always rushes into things alone, he always has to be the hero, he always has to be the one to save the day. hell, this omake is immediately followed by the confession arc. where... you know.
so what are we supposed to get out of this omake?
teru's been doing everything on his own up to this point
but he doesn't have to anymore
#mp100#mob psycho 100#teruki hanazawa#pic#edit: even though the hair makes this difficult to date timeline wise#i like to picture this as post confession arc#i feel like it makes the most sense
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Fives, Tup, and Dogma in a fort!
Soooo sorry about last week, I've been ridiculously busy, but we're back to my usual weekly Sunday updates of Raising Dominoes for the foreseeable future!
Anyways, here is Chapter 8 - Furniture and Forts. It was mostly just an excuse to draw the boys in a blanket fort :)
Prologue: 00 Previous chapter: 07 Next chapter: 09
Summary: Tup and Dogma help Fives set up his new room before a power outage frightens them.
CW: Implied/referenced child abuse, panic attacks, power outages
Chapter 8 - Furniture and Forts
Fives had not been able to fall back asleep after his nightmare, so after Cody left they spent the rest of the morning playing with the toys that Rex had bought the day before. At first Fives seemed to have trouble with the concept of playing. He would just sit in front of the toys staring at them blankly until Rex told him to do something specific with them, at which point he would comply, but after a while he seemed to get the gist of it. He began to make up little scenarios with the action figures and would have them battle each other.
It did not sit well with Rex that fighting seemed to be the only thing his son knew well enough to recreate in play, but Fives did seem to be having fun, so he tried not to intervene. Well, he might have been trying to coax Fives into helping him build a racetrack out of Legos for the matchbox cars, but the boy was too busy bashing the small plastic soldiers together and making blaster noises to notice.
By early afternoon Fives seemed to be running out of energy. The workers also arrived to deliver the boysâ furniture, so Rex turned the TV on to a random cartoon channel and let Fives curl up on the couch and watch it while he helped the guys set up the room.
When they were done the workers left and Rex found Fives still watching the show. He had hoped the boy would have fallen asleep, but he supposed it had probably been a little loud for that.
âHey, buddy,â Rex sank down on the couch next to Fives.
Fives quickly turned his attention to Rex, television forgotten, âAre they done? Can I see?â
Rex chuckled, âYep.â
Fives grinned and jumped up. He ran to his new room and stopped in the doorway. Rex joined him.
The furniture was all from the same set, so every piece had the same dark stained wood. It was a little weird to see the room with just furniture and no decorations, but Fives did not seem to mind. The kid was practically trembling with excitement.
Each side of the room had a bed with a bare mattress sitting in the far corner, and a nightstand, desk, dresser, and bookshelf up against the wall. Fives looked up at Rex, âThis is really all just for me and Echo?â
âThis is your room, yeah.â
âWow.â
Rex grinned and pushed Fives lightly into the room, âGo on. Pick which side you want.â
Fives looked around the room and took a tentative step forward before looking back to Rex uncertainly.
âItâs okay,â Rex tried to reassure, âJust pick which bed you want to sleep in.â
Fives looked like he was making the hardest decision of his life before stepping over to the bed on the left and turning back to Rex, âThis one?â
âPerfect.â
Fives beamed, âCan we-â
He was cut off by the sound of muffled voices:
âNo, you have to knock louder, Tup. Heâs not gonna hear that.â
The second voice was too soft to hear through the walls, but a loud knock rang through the apartment.
Fives looked up at Rex, his brows drawn together, and a tight frown tugged down the corners of his lips.
âItâs alright, those are my friends,â Rex said, flicking on the light in Fivesâs room and motioning for the boy to follow him as he made his way down the hallway towards the door, turning on all the lights as he went. âYou remember Hardcase?â
âY-yeah,â Fives answered.
âThese are his little cousins Dogma and Tup. Theyâre just a bit older than you.â
Fives nodded, but hesitated as they reached the entryway, âWhyâd you turn on all the lights?â
âOh, uh, they donât like the dark,â Rex said softly, opening the door before Fives could ask why not.
They were met with a scowling preteen with close cropped hair and a boy with longer wavy hair that could have been the otherâs twin if he was not a few years younger standing in front of a large box.
It took Rex a second to register, but when he did he grinned, âThanks. This is your guysâ old stuff?â
The boys nodded.
Rex pulled the container into his apartment, âAwesome. This is great.â
Fives peered out from behind Rex and gave the older boys a small wave. Tup offered a shy smile and inched a bit closer to Dogma, who wrapped his arm around his brother and attempted a smile of his own, but it did not quite reach his eyes.
Dogma craned his neck to see into the apartment, âWhat were all those people doing?â
âSetting up Fives and Echoâs new room,â Rex said, ruffling Fivesâs hair.
Tupâs eyebrows raised in interest. Rex new the look well and smiled at the boy, âIf itâs okay with Fives, you guys can check it out. Itâs not finished or anything though.â
Tup and Dogma exchanged a glance before looking to Fives.
âItâs okay,â Fives said, shifting a little behind Rex even as the words left his mouth.
Tup smiled and followed Dogma as he made his way into the apartment.
Dogma puffed out his chest and turned to address Fives, âMy name is Dogma, Iâm twelve years old and 3 months. This is my brother Tup. Heâs ten.â
Fivesâs large brown eyes darted between the boys, âIâm Fives.â
Dogma and Tup stayed to help unpack and decorate the bedroom. Dogma was helping Rex make the beds and the younger boys were putting Tupâs hand-me-downs in the dresser. Fives pulled out a shirt and passed it to Tup, âEcho.â
Tup hesitated, âAre you sure? Youâre giving way more clothes to Echo than to yourself.â Fives shrugged, âThat shirt is red. Echo likes red.â
Rex looked over to the dresser and saw that Echoâs was full and Fivesâs practically empty, âTupâs right, Fives. You need clothes to wear too. Why donât you start putting more things in your dresser.â
Fivesâs eyebrows pushed together, and he looked down into the box of clothes, âBut- but what if Echo wants them?â
Rex shrugged, âWhen Echo gets home you guys can trade if you want, but for now you need to give yourself more clothes.â
Fives still looked a little confused and when Tup moved to place the red shirt in his dresser rather than Echoâs, he shook his head.
Tup froze, looking from Fives to the dresser to Rex, who was busy tucking in sheets. Dogma had been listening to the exchange while making Fivesâs bed and looked up at the silence. He caught on quick and scowled at Fives, âRex said-â
âBut Echo would really like that shirt!â Fives interrupted, voice hitting a whiney pitch.
Dogmaâs scowl deepened and Tup looked like he would rather be anywhere than caught in this crossfire.
Rex looked over and was about to say something, but Fives beat him to it, âI-Iâll take the rest of them, just- just Echo would really like that one.â
âBut-â Dogma started, confusion replacing his scowl.
âItâs fine,â Rex interjected, he had heard the panic in Fivesâs voice, and he did not want to make it any worse.
Dogma opened his mouth to say something.
âItâs fine, Dogma,â Rex repeated with a bit more force.
Dogma mumbled out a quiet apology and turned back to Fivesâs bed, his ears turning red.
âTup, why donât you put that one in Echoâs drawer,â Rex nodded to the red tee still clutched in Tupâs hand. The boy obliged and Rex continued, âBut the rest go to Fives, okay?â
Fives nodded seriously.
With four sets of helping hands, they were able to finish setting up the room fairly quickly. After learning that Jesse was out taking Hardcase to his drum lesson and Kix had picked up an extra shift at the hospital (which Rex could not help but feel responsible for), Rex insisted on Dogma and Tup staying for dinner. The boys did not complain.
While they were eating Dogma suddenly pointed out the window, âHey, itâs snowing!â
âReally?â Tup jumped up and ran to the window.
Fives joined Tup, âWhoa, itâs so fluffy.â
Dogmaâs eyes darted between his plate and the window, clearly debating something. Rex felt an odd pang in his chest at how hard this decision seemed to be for the kid. He smiled gently, âYou can go take a closer look.â
Dogmaâs eyes snapped to his, âBut weâre eating?â
âThe food will still be here after you take a look.â
âCome on, Dogma!â Tup exclaimed, unable to hide his excitement.
Dogma slowly and a little rigidly got up from the table and made his way over to his brother, glancing back uncertainly at Rex every few feet.
Rex nodded encouragingly. He had known Dogma and Tup ever since Kix had taken them in six years ago. The boys had been scared and nervous and so afraid of the dark that they refused to sleep until they all but collapsed. As the years went on, they acclimated to their new environment as well as one could expect, but Tup was still a shy bundle of worry and Dogma was still overly compliant to what he believed the ârulesâ were. And they were both still scared of the dark.
âItâs windy,â Fives noted.
âReally windy,â Dogma breathed, sounding lost in thought.
Tup turned from the window to look at Rex, his face scrunched up with worry, âDo you think the powerâs gonna go out?â
Rex shook his head, âProbably not.â
Tup turned back to the window and Rex grimaced; he could hear the wind howling outside.
The boys had taken to playing in the twinsâ room after dinner while Rex cleaned up. From what he could hear in the kitchen, it sounded like Dogma was teaching Fives some sort of card game. Rex smiled; he was glad they were getting along.
As soon as he finished scrubbing the last dish, the lights flickered in the apartment. Rex dropped the plate back into the sink and ran to the bedroom.
Dogma sat cross legged on the floor in front of a game of palace, back stiff as a board, eyes wide and focused on a space just in front of Rex. Tup had thrown himself over his older brother and was clinging to him, eyes just as wide and filled with terror.
Fivesâs back was to Rex, and he turned, a frown tugging down the corners of his lips, âWhat-â
Just then the lights went out and they were plunged into darkness.
Rex moved quickly, scooping up Tup and pulling him into his lap, just as he had seen Kix do a million times before. The boy was already hyperventilating, his small chest rising and falling quickly with each shallow, ragged breath. Rex pulled his hand through Tupâs wavy hair, and exaggerated his breathing in the hopes that Tup would feel it and it would help him regulate his own.
âYouâre safe, Tup. Itâs me, Rex. Youâre in my apartment.â
Tup clung to Rex a little tighter, but his breathing remained quick and shallow.
Rex turned to Fives, whose outline he could see in the dim light from the window, âFives, thereâs a flashlight on my nightstand in my room. Do you think you could get it for me?â
Fives made an affirmative noise and scurried into the darkness.
âHow are you doing, Dogma?â Rex asked, turning his attention to the older boy for a moment.
Dogma did not respond, so Rex pulled him in close to his side, âI got you, youâre safe.â Dogma rested his head against Rexâs shoulder and trembled, speaking softly, âIâm sorry. I didnât want to.â
Rex felt hot tears seeping into his shirt and could not help but feel like he was in way over his head. He had no idea what Dogma was apologizing for, but he supposed that did not matter.
âI know,â Rex said gently, even though did not, âItâs alright.â
Fives reappeared with the flashlight in hand and passed it to Rex. Rex switched it on immediately and it flickered to life, bathing the room in a golden light. He felt Dogma relax a bit beside him and gave the sniffling boy a quick squeeze before turning his attention back to Tup.
Tup was still in the throws of a panic attack and clung to Rex with a force and determination he did not know the ten-year-old had. Rex gently pried one of Tupâs hand off him and pressed the flashlight into it, âHere, have the light.â
Tup clutched the flashlight and slumped against Rex, his breaths erratic as he struggled to calm down.
âBreath with me, Tup. In,â Rex took a deep breath in before letting it out slowly, âOut.â
Rex kept inhaling and exhaling with Tup and eventually got the boy to slow his breathing. All the fight left Tupâs body and he slumped weakly against Rex.
âYou want me to call Kix?â Rex asked gently.
Tup shook his head.
âJesse?â
âNo.â
âIt wouldnât be a bother.â
âNo. Iâm- Iâm okay now,â Tup said shakily.
Rex frowned, Tup was far from okay, âYouâll stay here until Kix or Jesse get home.â
Tup nodded against him.
âUm, excuse me, sir?â Fives pipped up from the doorway of his bedroom where he had watched the scene unfold.
âYes, little soldier?â Rex said the joking nickname coming automatically.
âCan we build a fort?â
âLike a blanket fort?â Rex asked, a little surprised Fives even knew what that was.
Fives nodded, âWhen we were scared like this, we would hide in a fort.â
âYeah,â Rex said slowly, wondering how many times the twins had been âscared like this.â
Fives grinned and turned to Dogma, âDogma, there are extra blankets in the closet in the hallway. We need three.â
The preteen sniffled and wiped his face, but got up and swiftly made his way out of the room, following the orders like his life depended on it.
Once Dogma had his mission, Fives sat down next to Tupâwho was curled up in Rexâs lap and did not seem like he planned on leaving anytime soonâand explained his architectural vision for the fort. The plan distracted Tup from the power outage and Rex had to admit that there was no way he could have handled the situation better than his seven-year-old son currently was.
Dogma returned from the dimly lit hallway quickly and handed the blankets over to Fives.
The construction of the fort was left mostly to Fives and Dogma, but Tup did seem to be taking an interest in it. Rex nudged the boy in his lap as the other two finished up the fort and began crawling around in it, âWant to play with Dogma and Fives?â
Tup hesitated, âCan I keep the flashlight?â
âOf course,â Rex nodded, giving the kid a gentle push towards the others.
Tup crawled over to join his brother and Fives, who were now talking enthusiastically about âdefense systemsâ they could put in place to fortify their creation.
Rex could have sworn he even saw Dogma smiling.
@marierg @stressed-cherry @ffdemon @renton6echo @bambambunny @tearfulsolace @rndmpeep @brokenphoenix99 @nerdy-valkyrie @xylionet @tazmbc1 @eyayah123 @the-bad-batch-baroness @sarcastic-nebula @ihaventpickedausername @sexysmeagolshitposting @emma-1409
#There are some chapters that actually have Echo in them coming up#Sorry about the wait#the clone wars#clone trooper fives#clone trooper echo#arc trooper echo#arc trooper fives#captain rex#clone wars#tcw#clone trooper tup#clone trooper dogma#domino twins#baby dominos#superlarva
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this was a lil while ago but it's been on my mind and it was rejected by actual Reddit for containing references to violence lol so it's c&p from back when this happened w a minor update but AITA for saying I'd curbstomp someone for saying the N word??
I, (27NB) attended a murder mystery birthday party back in May for a friend Annie (25F) with our mutual friends (24-28 various genders) (There was 7 of us total). We all had a pretty good time despite a lack of planning for the party and general weird vibes (Annie had been upset all day at something their partner, Sean had done).
Towards the end of the night, myself and a friend we're discussing anagrams, I believe specifically for the word "ginger", I was very drunk and did not hear the letters being spelt properly so I guessed the word was "Rigger". The other party goers conversations were coming to a natural end so they joined in mine and my friend's convo. Upon hearing me say "rigger" and pulling a face when I realised what exacty the bad word was my friend was referencing was, Sean then said "Oh it's (n word)!". Another friend, Betty did not hear what they said and asked them to repeat in, which they did loudly. The whole party stopped for a moment. At this point I think I fucked up because I was immediately shocked and said "You can't say that!" and then they said "what, (n word)?" and repeated it another time. I made a comment saying I believed the only person in the friend group to be racist was Dan. I've since privately apologised to Dan for this comment as I don't think Dan is racist at all, and Dan has accepted that apology.
Pretty much immediately after that everyone started making plans to leave, within five minutes cabs were called. Everyone left the room leaving me and Sean alone. I think this is also where I fucked up, I approached them and said they cannot say that word, it's not theirs to say etc, in which they just kept repeating "I'll use that word if I want to". (edit from months later: apparently Betty's boyfriend was in the room and didnt like do anything and just watched this play out). At this point I was pretty much blackout drunk and threatened to curb stomp them if they carried on. Betty came in and diffused the situation and took me home. Betty says myself and Sean were stood very close to each other but I was visibly drunk and stumbling and clearly was in no shape to carry through with the threat (Sean is also significantly larger than me in height and weight so I don't think even sober I would be able to land a punch, not that I want to).
Betty filled me in on a lot of these details the day after as I didn't remember a lot but apparently afterwards I tried to be extremely friendly to Sean and sort out plans for us to hangout this week, something I obviously won't be following through on. (edit: we haven't spoken to each other at all since this)
I messaged Annie on the sunday to wish her a happy birthday(edit: the party took place on the Friday iirc) and she also told me what happened (she was not present for any of this as she went to bed early at the party, feeling sick) undoubtedly hearing only Sean's side of the story. Knowing it's her birthday and I didn't want to bother her with drama I just said maybe their partner shouldn't of said what they said, and she stated after having a mild go for me for threatening to curb stomp her partner that she can't weigh in. So I stopped speaking about it to her and just forwarded her some videos I took from that night (silly videos, one of her blowing out her birthday candles, etc) and she replied saying thanks.
I've messaged Sean saying we need to talk about what happened and basically said while I'm sorry for it happening in their house during Annie's birthday party, I'm not sorry for calling out thag disgusting behaviour. Betty and another friend, Jack have both said I was well within my right to kick off like that, and that I was clearly not going to follow through with any threats, and Sean was wrong to not only say the words multiple times but then to double down when called out both in front of everyone and privately. But i have doubts since it was a birthday party and perhaps saying I'd curb stomp them is a bit much. I don't recall myself being particularly angry while shouting at them but they've said they definitely felt threatened by me and put off on talking to me.
I also find it odd they feel so threatened by me/find this behaviour of mine odd as I have reacted a similar way (less aggressive) when Annie was also racist in front of me, Betty and Sean. I've also spent the last two weeks meeting with Sean, bankrolling and planning this birthday party with absolutely no issue (i don't think a birthday person should plan/pay for their own party and Sean is unemployed) and we've had fun! We joked around a lot and I feel like I'm pretty open about being too weak to throw a punch but always ready to fight (like a chihuahua). I even came over early to help set up for the party, because I liked spending time with them. So for them to feel threatened by me is such an odd feeling. I also feel uncomfortable in the fact that Annie and Sean feel comfortable saying slurs in front of me. The whole friend group feels weird about this situation, no one really knows what to say.
(edit: ok this is where the original post ended but there's still some drama) so the day after I called Sean(with consent, to talk) but Anne picked up and said she would speak on Sean's behalf and I was on speakerphone. He did not apologise (neither did Anne) and Anne defended his behaviour pretty heavily. her/both of their's resolution was for Sean to just not say the N word around me. I obviously said that's still incredibly fucking racist and I don't want to be friends with racists? I cut them off after the phone call and said I'd like the money back I spent on the party from Sean. Anne ended up paying it back two months later when I politely brought it up at another friend's birthday.
Betty and her boyfriend still hang out with Sean and Anne and seem to be pretty good friends with them. Betty mentions Anne to me fairly often and all I say is why are you friends with a racist and then she goes quiet. Everyone still maintains I'm the asshole that ruined the friend group and I still feel pretty insecure about what happened. I don't think I should've threatened violence but they all say "chat shit get hit". so idk. AITA? sorry for how long this is lmao
What are these acronyms?
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Regarding the human kink thing when it comes to turians, some people actually do be nesting, omega-verse style. Imagine being a human assigned to a turian ship, and you just over here in your bunk, innocently arranging the pillows and stuffies, while these guys are just standing there, slack-jawed and harmonizing their subvocals lol
[updated post]
A/B/O is not for me, but I dig the concept of aliens being intrigued by plushies. They are weird when you think about it.
The weird part isn't the plushiesâit makes sense for warm-blooded mammals who value skinship to enjoy cuddling soft things, hugs are fundamental for your healthâNo, The weird part is how the most popular plushies aren't human shaped.
You could argue dolls, but dolls aren't used as plushies. They're more hard and sturdy, something that can withstand being played with. they have joints and brushable hair. Dolls are puppets to tell a story with, a psychological form of play through creativity.
I want you for a moment to imagine an advanced civilisation of bears with me.
With metropolises and bustling economy, they haven't mastered space travel yet but they've been eyeing the planet closest to them, bringing back rocks from the moon, etc.
In one apartment complex, there lives a bear family. The furniture is more accommodating to their larger build, clothes are more of an accessory to them considering their luxurious fur coats keeping them warm.
It's nighttime, tomorrow's a Sunday and mom bear has to leave to work early, she's currently washing the dishes leftover from the wonderful dinner the family just had. Her wife, however, is putting their son to bed. it's his second week in elementary bear school! he's unhappy with his seating arrangement in class however, the teacher placed him too far from his best friend.
His mother promises to have a chat with the teacher about it when she drops him off tomorrow, the son bear is very delighted and roars happily. A big yawn escapes him as his eyelids get heavy.
In his arms, there lies a cotton friend. His most beloved treasure, the most precious inanimate object to his heart. His plushie!
He adores it. It makes him so happy. It helped make him feel safe when he first started sleeping alone after his moms got him his own bed.
Now, I need you to tell me what does the plushie look like?
For me, these are the options that instinctively came to my mind when attempting to imagine what sentient bear cubs living in a 21st century would gravitate towards in a plushie.
A) a teddybear, more fluffy, abstract, and cartoonish looking
B) a plushie in the shape of a honeyjar
C) a plushie in the shape of a fishâmore specifically, salmon or trout
D) fuck idk man leave me alone
When compressed down to their core, in the most simplfied form, the choices are:
A) Identity
B) Food
C) Food
D) How did you get into my house?
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With that long analogy out of the way, when you compare that limited selection to the actual things humans have already turned into plushies, it just doesn't make sense.
Food, yes we have plushies of food but also of animals we do not eat. rabbits, cats, dogs, dolphins, bugs. We have plushies of predetors even, things that once hunted us down, beings that still could very well kill us if we meet face to face, tigers, sharks, bears themselves even.
Animal cartoons are much more popular amongst kids. Fables about talking animals have been a stable genre ever since humans invented writing. Animal plushies are popular amongst adults too.
Plushies of inanimate objects, of plants, of fictional characters and fantasy creatures.
I'm willing to bet that humans already made plushies of verans since the first year they came into space, that they sold out on earth immediately. Hell, I'm sure there are plushies of reapers, of protheons and even of turians and other species.
Not even abstract ideas were spared from being into marketable plushies! isn't there a series designed to raise awareness for mental illness?
The whole meme of "turns your fav into a marketable plushie" spread so much because it is true. If there is one thing humans love, is making plushies of anything not human.
And that's the weird part to aliens, the big boy of human anomalies. "Why do they want to cuddle literally everything in this universe? and how come plushies of other humans is the last thing on that list"
You try to explain it to a salarian once but they just look at you in confusion. What do you mean you sleeping with plushes resembling your species is "weird"?? Don't you humans like hugging each other so much? Yet cuddling the soft imitation of a reaper each night isn't weird to you????
That's not even mentioning how the bear society analogy is flawed because we are biased by nature. We projected the bear society onto our human agriculture and based it upon our own popculture.
When in reality they would hold very different values, a different emotional range. They'd be as diverse as the other alien species in mass effect, sharing more resemblance to them than to humans.
We see someone sad, and we have this need to touch them, pat their shoulder, rub their back, hold their hands, and give a hug. Bears let their children walk on their own while we carry our young more, much like aquatic birds in more ways than we'd think.
A/B/O nesting isn't my cup of tea, but with turians, it's easier to digest. Yeah, they are birds. It would be literal nesting. That's kinda cute.
We like caves, it's also cute. Would turians prefer the top bunkbed? Anyway.
Birds usually throw clutter away from their nests, anything that's not a straw or building material is disposed off to make space for their eggs.
While we like the opposite, clutter fucking rocks! at least for humans.
We have a mattress, then a mattress cover, then a sheet.
Then we have pillows, stuffing, then pillow covers, decorative pillows.
After it, multiple blankets! a soft one, a heavy one, an airy one. Sometimes, blankets come with blanket covers.
Finally, the plushies arrive. Multiple of course, some for decorations, others well worn with cuddles. Sometimes a gaint big one to fully wrap all of our limbs around.
Sometimes our beds have crumbs from food we eat in it, othertimes it has a stray sock we took off while in bed and forgot.
Most of the time it has our phone in it, a pet joins us there, book we're reading, laundry we were supposed to fold but forgot, a bag, or several outfits as we get ready to go out.
That's a cave, much like bears leave the skeletal remains of their prey, we have crumbs from the cookie we suddenly craved at 3am.
Nests are neat and clutter-free, at least the bird ones, always getting cleaned from waste. Eggshells are thrown out as they hatch, baby birds waste are immediately disposed of.
Lizard nests aren't that different.
Because the equivalent to a nest foundation isn't the blankets, plushies, or pillows. it's the house foundation itself!
The concrete walls and the sturdy floorboards. The whole bedroom is already a well-built nest. The bed is just an extra cushion. The fluffy material and loose feathers birds leave at the very top, so the twigs don't scratch the fragile eggs.
So, in conclusion. Turians and Salarians would get VERY overwhelmed in a human bedroom, let alone a human bed with plushies, stuffies, and blankets.
They're like, "Are you expecting a baby???" When they notice what their brain consider is extra protective fluffing for eggs.
Turians even more because of their lack of skin nerves, hard plating, and all. Their outershell makes it hard to appreciate soft things, let alone hugging them, when they can barely feel it.
Salarains? They're softer, more squishy, and they might enjoy the way it feels against their skin. Most reptiles do, and they're the closest thing for reference.
They're warm-blooded, but they do originate from a fully tropical planet + they're amphibians and might have used to be semi-aquatic? Meaning that while they still produce their own bodyheat, it wouldn't be that much to begin with. Space is definitely much colder to them than to a human.
That's why hugging a human is so nice to them! They can leech off of your body heat as their very own sunâor at least a substitute for a heatlamp.
But plushies and blankets are a different story. With blankets, they might make them cold or freeze since they blocked whatever light or heatlamp the salarians must need for sleep when they're not wearing their temperature adjustment suits.
And if you sleep next to them under the blanket, your trapped body heat will cause the temperature to rise above what's comfortable for them and risk overheating them. Same with the fluffy sheets, pillows or plushies.
there's the risk of overheating them with your body as the blanket traps in the heat. it will happen slowly, but that just makes it more dangerous. A slow simmer of rising body temperature as they realise what a death trap a human bed actually is.
Plus, salarians only need one hour of sleep per cycle, it seems very excessive to them that you'd build a whole room and make the biggest piece of furniture in it solely for the purpose of sleep. All of those plushies just to hug to sleep?
Drell, who breathe through their skin, would view blankets as a total nightmare. Their clothes already need a lot of adjustment to accommodate their conditions, only certain material is airy enough to allow them to get a lungfull, and you want to suffocate them with cotton or polyester?
They know you only breathe through your nose, but it still...makes them feel uneasy. Seeing you covered completely in stuffies and thick blankets, only your head poking out. Much like what it would feel for us to see someone go to sleep underwater with a flimsy mask connected to an oxygen tank. Now, this is truly a death trapâthe salarians were right.
As long as you forgo the blanket and...allow them to fully strip down, they will give this whole human bed thing a try. Silk or satin sheets and pillow covers feel the best against their skin, smooth surfaces that seamlessly glide, air particles passing through it with little trouble.
Anything fluffy, feathery, or with fur will irritate their skin. It's like something brushing against your nose. They sacrifice a lot of comfort when it comes to indulging the human need to cuddle, but most drell rarely complain as they accommodate to your need, even if it meant you'd be slightly cutting off their air circulation.
Maybe their society is exceptionally polite? Maybe devotion and sacrifice for the ones you love are just ingrained in their biology? It would explain their endless royalty to the hanar despite how staying on that planet is literally killing them.
Oh yeah, owning a humidifier in your room will cause them a lot of pain and discomfort. Turn it off, or if you really want to woo a drell, get a dehumidifier.
Krogans would fucking love our beds tho. Might make fun of it at first, but they secretly also want a soft mattress and plushies to cuddle with.
Get close enough with a Krogan, and they'll start crashing in your room and taking naps on your own bed whenever the chance presents itself.
Don't the asari sleep in pods? I'm thinking of that sex scene in ME, she fucks you in a pod. That's something. At least...Liara gets used to human beds?
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Anway! having established all of that definitely vital and necessary world building, I can finally talk smut about the turians! the original context of this request!
One look at a human's bed and their minds are definitely going south. First of all, human, you're in desperate need of a mate because your nest is a mess! Why do you have so many different fabrics? Aren't you worried you'll suffocate yourself with a plushie or too while sleeping?
Second of all...they didn't know humans were this soft. You mean, most humans sleep like this? In very comfortable beds? Even like...the army tough ones? Oh, that's why they get so excited for shore leave? so they can return to their actual comfortable nestsâsorry yes "beds" and have some decent sleep?
huh.
And none of you are expecting children, correct? This is just how the average adult human goes to sleep?
Turians don't have the heart to tell you that they associate soft bedsâones like yoursâto the human equivalent of a heart-shaped bed with rose petals scattered around, candles illuminating the room and a very deliberate lack of condoms.
They try not to...think about it whenever they come into the room. A bluish hue adorning their cheeks, trying to avoid eye-contact as they explain that uh...fuck, they accidentally glanced towards your bed and forgot what they came here to say.
I talked before how jarring it's to them that humans easily allow others on their bed, be it human or not. You just casually invite your friends to sit on it? The same sheets you sleep on each night? the one so heavy with your delicious scent they can practically smell it the second they stepped foot into this room?
And now you're telling them to take a seat, even handing them one of your plushies to keep in their lap. What's a friendly gesture and a show of trust is being very very badly misinterpreted by their brain chemistry, their biology going haywire at what they consider the declaration of "Get me pregnant" Whether you're actually capable of it or not.
-
Sidenote, the angara might be the only ones to share our bed preferences, not only that but show enthusiasm at the mention of plushies.
The only difference is that their society values plushies that resemble people more, angara like them. The dolls and plushie lineup are very intertwined.
Cuddling very intimately with someone isn't sexualised either, nor presented under a romantic light necessarily. Their society prides itself on love and affection; they're direct with expressing their emotions.
A single angara family can have many mothers and fathers, tens of sisters and brothers. Cuddling and sharing a bed is very normalised even far into adulthood.
They might be the ones giving humans the wrong idea by immediately inviting them back to cuddle on their bed after only the second meeting. Just because they decided they like you :) It's the equivalent of going out for coffee.
Protheoans, meanwhile, fall on the opposite spectrum. Javik doesn't have a bed, does he? He never asks for one either. They're a society of warriors, they value strength and abhor tenderness. Brutal honesty is their forte.
But...they also read each other's emotions through touch.
While beds are a foreign concept, plushies are not. Javik can sense the history of a room just by directly touching its floorboards. Plushies and other sentimental objects must be valued very greatly in their society, doesn't he hold onto the disk of memories from his time back before being frozen?
He understands why his own species came to value plushies, but why the hell does yours do it? You lack his abilities, all humans do.
You try to explain it to him, but it just sounds like you're describing vague and badly done emotion reading with extra steps.
He concludes that humans must hold traces of these abilities. It just translates into safety and the need to cuddle others. Also, it is clearly inferior to the protheon's advanced ability, so yeah.
Javik dislikes your bed but likes your plushies and actually welcomes cuddling. He remains stoic throughout it but you can feel him poking through your memories.
Same with your plushies, he asks that he may keep one as a relic. A piece of your soul, your history is encased in it like an artifact in amber.
Touching it almost feels exactly like travelling in time to meet your old self, getting to part the curtians of space itself and get a front row view on the person you used to be.
Plushies immortalise you to protheans, who would've thought.
-
I had so much fun with this an analysis it <333 I know it isn't exactly what you had in mind anon, I'm sorry, A/B/O is listed as a "no" in my requesting list. But the concept was so good I had to approach it in a different direction.
I hope you still enjoyed it!
#âhumans#âhuman kink#âJavik#âturians#âKrogans#âsalarians#âcharacter study#âdrell#âprotheans
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professional help, c3. preview
simon riley x original character.
abstract: Simon here, I saw Jude again, she's still going on about her theories, whatever. it's not even funny anymore and she has some weird secret I want to find out⌠still, she's a fucking menace to society. idk what's wrong with her probably got dropped on her head on purpose as a kid. don't blame the parents.
trigger warnings: violence, sexual assault, mentions of rape, trauma, sexual themes, swearing, use of alcohol and drugs.
song to listen to when reading this: The Fruits, Paris Paloma.
In the end, she did hear back from Price. An email. 'Scherzi!' She shouted out loud in her apartment. She sat down on the couch and Jinx hopped on with her, sniffing her laptop. An email from the captain, an invitation to a briefing, to discuss the situation. Tomorrow after your last session at 5pm. 'No vabbe, me fa pariĂ âŚ' she mumbled and wrote back that she would be there.
'So, I wanted to update you on your patient. We spoke with him and three other soldiers about joining us to the next mission in Al-Jareena next week but he refused. WellâŚ' he stopped, rubbing his beard in clear distress. 'He got up and came up to me saying his injury is not fully healed and he will not be able to get deployed. So I told him we needed him and he started to get nervous and left the room in a hurry.' She listened without intervening. 'I know you have an appointment with him one day before we leave. I was wondering if you could let me know if you find out something about this, he's required to leave with us, otherwise we'll have to report him. His doctors cleared him.' He showed her a piece of paper, sliding it across the table.
'Too risky.' It was Simon that spoke. He was British, his voice was deep. He had been debating on intervening in the meeting from the moment Price asked him to be present. He asked him cause he trusted him, and valued his opinion. Jude could have been informed and educated with her little theories and stories, but she didn't know how things worked in the army. This wasn't Cluedo. She had the same attitude when she walked in the room, maybe a bit less stiff. He took his time exploring her. Her pretty green eyes, her nose, her neck. She wore a blouse this time, with grey trousers. She still had those shiny high boots. She had her hair up, a blonde ponytail. He looked at her jaw. She had a mole on her cheek. He shook her hand, he could smell her deodorant. Her skin was warm, soft. He liked talking to her. Her voice still sounded weird, he couldn't pick up a particular accent. He understood she would't let it go.
'I think you're waisting an opportunity.'
'I think you're thinking too much about it.'
I think I want to brake your neck. She was mad now, he could see her, he could feel it. They weren't listening. She stood up and thanked the two for inviting her to the meeting, she assured them she would keep them updated. Her smile was fake, she still wanted to be polite even thought she thought they were both fucking stupid. Ghost didn't feel guilty for going so hard on her, he looked at her leave while she was trying to hide her anger. He said what he really thought, that was what he had been trained to do. 'What's her deal?' he asked the captain on his way out. 'Jude?' the man looked up, then shook his head.
notes: translation:Â 'Scherzi!', you're joking! 'No vabbe, me fa pariĂ 'Â Naples dialect for 'you're making me laugh'.
notes: Saturday or Sunday for full chapter, when do you want it?? replies and reblogs are highly appreciated!!!
love, mare.
taglist:
@ummmmmwat @ghostlythots @sweetfemmefatal @natxpat @chavarriakeren647 @ravenmoore14 @farther-than-pleiades @internallyscreamings @hwromi @atoxicrat @cuti3maddi3 @deafeningkittenblaze @its-celeste @serene-hills @lexidoll12 @poohkie90 @lunatiquess
@warmedbythebody @katzykat @iristhemuse @azkza @keiraslayz @abbyandermine @jennyjencakes @dest-nai @corset-briefs @nutze-kekse @ilytsukiw @b3anspr0ut
@pondsblog @missyouzoe @fallenkitten @bigauthorrascalturkey @bethtay @angelynn-nicole @starluv @stargirlisworld @giyuuslittleslut @impossiblecupcakelight
@rkrivees-blog @ghosts-hoe @kam1snotverysmart @gauky76 @freyjaaasstuff @spicyspicyliving @scottpilgrimvsmyfists @courtney0-0 @shinchanboi @darling006 @my-therapist-hates-me
#cod mw2#cod x reader#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost fanfiction#ghost headcanons#simon ghost x reader#call of duty#cod fic#cod modern warfare#141 headcanons#task force 141#tf 141#141 x reader#cod 141#cod#mw2 141#cod fanart#tf141#gaz cod#gaz call of duty#john soap mactavish#john soap mctavish x reader#john soap mctavish x you#ghost call of duty#captain price#call of duty modern warfare#modern warfare 2#cod mwii#cod mw3
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Radio Silent (Uni AU P. 10)
tw - mentions of abuse, themes of anxiety, general insecurity
The night fizzles out the way you expect it to, disappearing without a word to your friends in the diner, letting your new, yet reluctant friend, drive you home. You'd simply deal with Shadowheart when she got back to the dorm.
Just as Astarion said, he's gone the next morning, but the two of you text quite often. He finds it easier to talk to you through pixels on a screen, where he can pretend like you're not this very real person who knows far too much about him. On the plane ride to LA, he doesn't sleep, which isn't odd for him. Instead, he thinks about the past couple of days and how you've wriggled your way into his life, into his head. Instead of trying to put his feelings into tangible sentences, he makes a playlist while waiting the hours away and catches up on some much-needed reading.
Thursday comes around, and the group is pissed at him, as you expected them to be.
"Damnit, he's the reason we picked my lunch break to do this during anyways! You think he'd at least stick to plans like a reasonable individual."
"Gale, it's not like he chose to go on a spur-of-the-moment trip to California. It's a work thing, not in his control."
You almost sound a little angry when the words come out, knowing that he's probably going through some hell that all your friends don't know about. Gale picks up on this sentiment, and leaves the conversation at that, mumbling something about how they'll all just update him on the project details later. Indeed, you all talk in the group chat with him about plans for the upcoming assignment, which he sporadically responds to. Although, he always responds to your texts, even if he ignores the group chat. Astarion argues with himself about it in his head, trying to reason with himself, saying things like 'it's just because the group chat is overwhelming.' For how good of a liar he is, he's not good at lying to himself.
Friday morning, he goes radio silent, which you're not concerned by at first. He's busy, probably busier than you've ever been in your life. Yet, he had made time to text you since Monday night. It starts to worry you when Saturday and Sunday both pass with nothing new. You hold yourself back from asking if everything's alright, knowing if something is stressing him out it's probably better to just let him deal with it and get back to you. And yet, you don't talk to him until he's back, and you're not even the first one to hear that he's back on campus.
"Oh yeah, I saw him in the elevator earlier. Tried being nice like you said, I even waved! You should be proud. Doesn't seem like he appreciated it though."
Shadow rolls her eyes, almost covered by her bangs that she desperately needs to trim. You're not sure exactly why, but you rush to his dorm room, knocking frantically. It's Monday night, which is surprising. You could've sworn he said he'd be back Tuesday morning, but maybe you misremembered. The door creaks open.
"Oh, hello Tav."
Astarion's eyes are weary, which you chalk up to not being able to sleep on the plane.
"Hello? You haven't texted me since Thursday, what the hell? I thought you like died or something."
"Nope, not dead, very much alive. Got wrapped up in some work affairs over the weekend, fashion people can be quite dramatic. Either way, I apologize. I'm still quite new to the 'having a genuine friend' thing."
"Well, how's your arm?"
He scoffs.
"It's... it's fine. Weird to have someone ask."
At this point, he's opened the door and let you in. You're welcomed to a sight of half un-packed luggage and a stack of leather binded books on the coffee table.
"Holy shit Astarion, did you rob a bookstore while you were in California?"
"Nope, all from the library. Missing out on a week of school when you're a senior here comes with its disadvantages. For example, I have had no time to work on my thesis essay, and I've barely even unpacked from the trip itself. Although, I did snag this."
He takes out a garment bag that has been carefully finessed to fit in his suitcase without wrinkling whatever is hidden inside. His fingers nimbly move to unzip the bag, revealing a white faux fur coat.
"Now, do I wear too much white? Absolutely, but passing up on this? I could never."
You almost feel bad, not knowing anything about clothes or what makes them cool, but to your credit, you know it's a nice coat. He slips it on, happy with his latest thievery.
"Well, what do you think? Is it stunning, or is it stunning?"
In that moment, while you're about to make some quip like 'go look for yourself, you realize he has no mirrors in the dorm, not even in the bathroom that you've only ever caught a glance of.
"I would say look for yourself, but you don't have any mirrors. That's shocking."
"Well, I had the one in the bathroom removed. Guess I'm just not particularly a fan of reflections."
"How come?"
He stares at a detail on the sleeve of the coat.
"You get tired of seeing your face after a while."
"Well, I think it looks fabulous, and so do you."
"Wish I felt just as fabulous."
He lets out a small laugh, shrugging his way out of the blinding fabric. There's something left unsaid in the air, you can feel it as he goes to hang up his new treasure.
"What really happened this weekend?"
Astarion tenses, almost dropping the hanger he so delicately placed the jacket on.
"I... I'd rather not say. I know I told you a lot the other night, but there are truly some things best left as skeletons in the closet. Maybe in time, but not today. I can't today."
"That's okay. I was just worried, that's all."
"Funny, I'm so used to people prying all the time. It's pleasant, getting to have secrets when I talk to you."
He comes back out into the living room.
"Would you like to stay for a while? You don't have to help unpack or anything, just be here."
"Sure, as long as you don't mind. And I would gladly help you unpack. Besides, you have a master thesis to get back to."
"I suppose I do. Thanks, I won't forget this."
"What, like you need to trade some favor back or something? Because that's not necessary."
"You're too nice for your own good."
The pale man puts some soft R&B on, and the two of you go ahead and start putting all his things away. Although, he doesn't let you handle any of his nice clothes. You learn that the hard way when he bats your hand away from a pair of very expensive jeans.
"They're just jeans, I promise I won't taint them!"
"Yes, they are just jeans, but they're also 800-dollar jeans, and I am not risking it."
You continue to ask him about various articles of clothing, what shoots he took them from. He remembers every single one. Although, he does skip out on some details, brushing past parts of his tales without a second thought. You don't mind though, knowing it's probably just things he isn't ready to talk about. At some point you become distracted by the stack of books on the nearby table, and start looking at all the titles. They're all related to ethics, morality, or philosophy in some way, but particularly focused on the psychology of abusers and the abused.
"I thought you weren't a philosophy person?"
Astarion's voice almost makes you jump, taking you out of reading the back of one of the books.
"Is this what you're doing your thesis on?"
"I mean I'd like to, but I'm still not sure. Feel as though the head of the department will be surprised when I present it to him."
"How come?"
"Because I've always made my projects, lifeless, I guess. I've always written and studied by the book, never touched on emotional topics. Just don't want people asking questions."
"So, what specifically are you going to look into?"
"The philosophy of abusers, how power imbalances change our moral codes, that kind of thing."
You lightly place the book back in the stack.
"I think you should do it. If anyone asks, just say you were curious about it."
"That's true, I am known to be quite curious. Now, are you going to help me with the rest of this, or have you given up?"
The night passes by too fast for his liking, as the two of you talk while he prepares for the week ahead. It's past midnight when you finally check your phone, seeing that you've received a couple of cheeky messages about your absence from Shadow.
"Is it late already?"
Astarion checks him phone as well.
"Perhaps it's time for you to go get some sleep darling. After all, not everyone is as extreme of an insomniac as I am."
"Yeah, I guess I should probably get back. Happy you're back though, and that you're okay."
Without really thinking about it, you go for a side hug, and make your way to the door.
"See you tomorrow?"
"Sure. See you tomorrow Tav."
And his smile is warmer than normal, knowing there's something to look forward to after a torturous night of barely any sleep. Maybe opening up to a single soul isn't so bad after all.
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#baldurs gate astarion#astarion x reader#astarion x tav#angst#comfort#shadowheart#gale of waterdeep#freshiau
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WUPDATE: Incorrect Eyes
đđđđđđđđđ˘, đžđđđđđđ đ¸đšđđ || đ´đ˘đđ đđđđ
I already tagged all the Desecrate people this week so I'll do an Incorrect Eyes update this week!
BIG NEWS!!!! INCORRECT EYES WAS PUBLISHED!!! AND YOU CAN READ IT FOR FREE ON KINDLE UNLIMITED!!!
Okay, now let's talk some more about that! I was updating y'all pretty regularly earlier this year as I worked on IE and then I kinda... stopped.
Well, I was able to get it to the editor I was really hoping for (thank you @whatsuptyler ily beepaw)! Tyler did an amazing job really finding all my inconsistencies and making sure the narrative worked!
I also had a big change on the art end! I originally wanted to have Mx. Morggo doing the chapter art for IE, but they fell through (literally just never responded to an email after telling me they were interested in the project but that's okay! Life is weird!). Then I kinda waffled on where to go next and ended up having WerewolfPresident on IG do it and it turned out great!! I love the illustrations and the chapter header that I got, they're everything!!
I am also waiting on some illustrations to come in from my tattoo artist, I would like to use these as like those vellum art pages that you can put into books. I don't know if I'll actually get these art pieces but that just seems to be the vibe for IE lol
I say that because I am still waiting on the cover art for IE. I am really upset about this just because I have not heard from the artist since June, when I had stated that the book is being published in July back when I first got into contact with her in December. It has been nearly a year and I don't have the art. I am really hoping to receive it still, and I won't make the paperback editions of IE available until I have the cover illustration.
That's all the updates I really have on the art end of things, but I do have one more update in general: Incorrect Eyes qualifies for the Bram Stoker Awards in the Long Fiction category this year!! If you know an HWA member or are an HWA member yourself (like I am now!!), then I would greatly appreciate your consideration of my psychological religious horror story for the awards cycle this year!
Now that that's done, let's get to the good part (the snippies!):
Be Not Afraid. My life changed when I heard those three words. It wasnât an immediate change. No, it was a slow, crawling thing. I was raised a good Catholic kid, after all. Those three words were ones that I grew up with, ones that I am well acquainted with. Sundays were always full of stories about the messengers of God, tales as great as They were that sung their praises. But, of course, any time the Angels were mentioned, the greeting wasnât far behind. Be Not Afraid was a melody that hung in the background of my life over the soft harmonies of the churchâs organs, soothing me into complacency.
maybe one more for yous:
I can remember what the Father told me to believe in church all those years ago. Remember how he guided me in prayer after I asked about this description and why is was so scary. He told me that the chants of the Angels were something to be heard, that They could lift a soul and bring it closer to God. But when I read the words on the page I return to the question the small child I used to be asked. Why is it so scary? I canât hear their chants, my ears are filled with Their screaming and wailing. Their shouts beg for atonement and forgiveness. Images pop unbidden into my mind: Angels as we knew them growing up, human-like and innocent. But now They have tears of viscous blood streaming down Their faces as They grovel before His throne, screaming and begging for His warmth. Seraphim and Cherubim just behind Them, blocking the pathetic Angels in, forcing Them to submit to His holy gaze. Their screams harmonize in the worst ways, ringing through my mind and spilling through my ears. The mind-numbing pain They cause is only worsened as my eyes are drawn further down the page. Woe is me for I am ruined [must be silent] because I am a man of unclean lips and live among a people of unclean lips, and because my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts. Unclean, unclean, unclean. The word repeats in my mind, tearing through the chorus of terror put forward by the Angels. I am unclean, just like he was. I live among people with unclean Eyes, just as he with lips. HeâIâwe are RUINED. My mind conjured the image of the next paragraph. Of the Seraphim flying towards meâIsaiahâus holding a glowing coal by means of a pair of tongs. From the altar is comes. As it lays the burning stone in my eyes, it speaks: Now that this has touched your lips, your wickedness is removed and your sin is atoned for. Then I scream.
and then the final thing I'll share, the first chapter header:
TAGLIST
@winterandwords @crypticcodexcreations @inkspellangel @smol-feralgremlin
@joswriting @love-whatit-loves @annetillney @bebewrites
Please fill out this form to be added or ask to be removed!
#Incorrect Eyes#wip update#writing#writeblr#wip excerpt#wupdate#adult fantasy#religious fantasy#andi writes#self published#kindle unlimited#religious horror#horror#horror novella#psychological horror
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Audiodrama Sunday 4/7/2024
Lots of stuff to listen to this week. I really need to stop starting these writeups at 11:30pm on Sunday evening.
Loved the new Dear Liisphyra this week. I thought that the sponsor for this episode was really funny. I laughed out loud and looked like to an insane person to some guy I was walking past when they said that every weapon box comes with 50 feet of hempen rope.
Season 2 finale of @backagainpodcast! Man I love the themes of this show. It's such a well written tragedy, the dramatic irony is so good. Also I desperately want to know more about the other Soldier. We know several very relevant details about him but very little else.
New @spoutlore-blog was fun. Billie is such a good character, Jessica plays the "immortal child" trope so well. This show really puts the coolest worldbuilding you've ever heard with the dumbest dick jokes in existence. I still haven't gotten over the spider and the hummingbird.
Speaking of Spout Lore, the new Rude Tales of Magic episode has Abdul Aziz as a guest. He was a great guest, his style of humor fits perfectly with the setting of Piss Harbor. Are all the characters he plays street rats with a heart of gold. Excited to see who they bring on as guests in the future. They had Zac Oyama a few episodes ago, I would be excited to see more Dimension 20 people.
The new @midstpodcast was super interesting! Every episode in this season they've introduced another way that the Trust is incredibly fucked up. Why can't we go back to the Mother's Merciful, they were so nice.
Somehow I fell behind on @storiesfromylelmore. I'm not sure how that happened, I think my podcatcher didn't update or something, because I've been listening to new episodes of this show immediately. The second most recent episode was great, with Rion going through werewolf puberty. The most recent episode had some really good character work, with character development for all 3 main characters. I love this show so much.
New episode of SCP: Find Us Alive. A new Dash Two being created is really interesting, we've only had Dumptruck and Hiway Robbery for so long it's weird for there to be a third one. Where did they even get a bird?
I reached the crossover with Forgive Me in @kingmakerpod. Forgive Me is such a grounded show, especially by audiodrama standards, which tend to be way out there, so it's so funny when they cross over with shows that have such a wildly different tone and premise. The character interactions were on point though.
@camlannpod the fairy world! This show continues to have really cool takes on myths. The idea that you can shed a Name simply by going by something else is interesting. Could some random person start going by Lancelot and gain magical powers? The reveal at the end was great too, both from a worldbuilding standpoint and a character perspective.
Man that really was a lot. Lots of stuff to look forward to next week as well!
#audiodrama sunday#audiodrama#audio fiction#dear liisphyra#back again back again#back again pod#spout lore#spout lore podcast#rude tales of magic#midst#midst podcast#midst pod#stories from ylelmore#stories from ylelmore podcast#scp: find us alive#the kingmaker histories#kingmaker podcast#camlann pod#camlann podcast
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oooo secret caretaking pls <3
Secret caretaking has been answered here, may I tempt you instead with food poisoning? Eddie eats some slightly sketchy leftovers (Buck warned him not to) the day before he turns 35 and faces the consequences. Fic would open on mostly the aftermath of that, Buck home from the shift Eddie had to skip and talking on the phone with Bobby updating him that Eddieâs feeling mostly better and should be up for the party tomorrow. Eddieâs grumpy (he doesnt even like birthday parties for himself anyway) (his tummy hurts) (buckâs making fun of him) and theyâre, you know, buck and Eddie and dumb and flirty and sappy while they go to sleep. In the morning he only half wakes up when Buck takes Chris to school, fully wakes up with no one in the house and decides he wants a greasy fast food burger (fuck you tummy) (its his birthday he can do what he wants).
When he gets back from that journey he notices Chimneyâs car is there, he and Maddie were going to come over to help with party set up, and he kind of wishes it was just going to be him and Buck for a while because he still kinda feels like shit and also it is his birthday and heâd like some time alone with his hot boyfriend but. Whatever. Walks into the kitchen and Buck tries to say something but Eddie just walks up and kisses him and Bucks like a little frantically wide eyed and says they have guests and Eddieâs like fuck Maddie and Chimney they can avert their delicate eyes and goes in for another kiss but Buck like physically turns his head to look to the kitchen table and Helena and Ramon are sitting there. Eddie (still hasnât come out to his parents) (was kissing buck) (heâs too recently food poisoned for all of this) is likeâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ hi mom and dadâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ what are you doing hereâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.. the family party isnât till SundayâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
Turns out they decided to come in early to at least say hi on his actual birthday and are now like. Why didnât you tell us about this. Why didnât you tell us about any of this? I thought we were doing better I thought you trusted us? Why are you keeping this part of your life from us? Because it seems pretty fucking serious, Buck was here alone and answered the door like he owns the place. Unless this is just some fling? And Eddie (he was FOOD POISONED like YESTERDAY) (itâs his fucking birthday) is like no. No iâm so fucking serious about this. Iâm going to marry this man.
And Buck looks like weirdly upset about this and Eddie puts together that he thinks heâs just saying that to prove some point to his parents and Eddieâs like fuck. Oh my god. Stop that. And he opens a kitchen drawer and pulls out the velvet box he hid there (like 3 fucking weeks ago) and is like how have you not used the cheese grater ONCE in the last month. I hid it next to your most used utensil. You were going to pull it out while making dinner it was going to be so romantic. And buck is like (weakly) Iâve been enjoying the texture that the microplane gives the Parmesan. And Eddieâs like (dreadfully in love) (god he wants to lay down) youâre so fucking weird. The cheese grater literally has a side that does that. And Buckâs like yes. Yes Iâll marry you.
And Eddieâs like somehow surprised by that and Buckâs like crying laughing and says Iâm so sorry mr and Mrs Diaz please just look away and kisses him, and Eddieâs like okay cool i feel like shit Iâm going to go eat this stupid burger in my bed (fries are cold by now) (cold fries are disgusting) (heâs not happy about it). Mom dad you can stay for the party if you want. Or not. Bye. And Maddie and Chimney who have just been here witnessing all this are like. Hysteric. Gleeful. Absolutely texting several group chats rapid fire updates. Buck follows to check on him a few minutes later and theyâre sappy again and and Buck says happy birthday before heading back out. The end!
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Sunday | Week In Review II
Sunday Week in Review II.
How we all doing?? Did we make it through the week? (I wrote this placeholder start on Monday, future B, I hope you made it through unscathed)
Narrator: In fact, she barely made it through the week unscathed. It was a weird limbo state of a week that she couldnât quite understand was so quick but so fucking long at the same timeâŚ
So as a result, I really didnât read much this week - you should see my tabs that I have open for my TBR list this week and I have a lot of mentions/reblogs I will be responding to the next couple of days.
Anyway, on with the week in reviewâŚ
Truly Betty Updates This WeekâŚ
Strings Part III (I feel like I hit publish on this six weeks ago, this is how long this week has felt)
Dipped by foot in the Catfish pond this week also...
Stood Up
Flings
Fics I Enjoyed This WeekâŚ
Six Sentence Sunday by @gnpwdrnwhiskey I love Sunny & Whiskey any day of the week, but throw in tiny long-eared adorable puppies? *dead*
Delta Landscaping | Chapter 1: Welcome to Torrey Hills by @rhoorl They're here... What an opening chapter! This one introduces us to the Delta boys and where they are post-Colombia and sets up for what I know is going to be a fantastic ride! I also heard that the residents of Mulefall Court (snort) have come to play today...
Working Title by @rhoorl Also started this fic this week by Jess too, only one chapter in but I'm very curious how this is all going to play out. Dieter Bravo and a slow burn? Has my name all over it!
The Layover | Chapter 10by @goodwithcheese I'm ignoring the fact that we're in the home stretch of this story - but it's one that just keeps on giving and this week's update was no different! Also, are you team Jules x Benny or team Jules x Santiago?
Sage by @softlyspector This is part three of the Honeyed series, and I don't know how to sum up in a couple of lines how much this series has touched me. Joel AU where he's a tattoo artist might sound on the surface a little ways out there, but trust me - the characterization stays true and the slow burn here is something else. I've yet to reblog it with my comments as I'm still taking it all in - trust me, there's not been a day this week I've not thought of this series.
First and 10 by @something-tofightfor This was actually a re-read and I was surprised to find I hadn't shared it already. We've had @ladamedusoif with SNL's Mr. Ben, now I introduce you to @something-tofightfor's SNL Wing Pit Daniel. He has lived rent-free in my head since I read it and this one shot, I've lost count of how many times I've gone back to read it.
Things Iâm Looking Forward to StartingâŚ
No list this week as I can't keep a lid on my TBR list as it exploded this week with my weird head space - which means a lot hopefully a long list of fanfics read next week! đâ¨
Posts I Enjoyed This WeekâŚ
@jomiddlemarchâs TLOU x Ted Lasso master list put together by @tessa-quayle When I first read TLOU crossover with Ted Lasso a couple months back I was a little dubious about how the two would work. But Iâm telling you - it works. I also adore the relationship between Joel and Grace, so much so that reading their back and forth itâs easy to forget sheâs an OC. Everything @jomiddlemarch does with her OC is what I strive to achieve with my own - a flawless submission into an established world.
Dave York Hip Bounce Honestly? Do I really need to explain this one?Â
Things Iâve Enjoyed This WeekâŚ
@gnpwdrnwhiskey informing me that there is A HIPPO EMOJI!!! đŚ <â look at it!Â
Finding out You can ârewindâ gifs (I refer you back to the Dave York hip bounce post)
Justified (TV Show) - even though I'm not entirely sure what is going on at any given time (I watch while I work), I'm now on season two and Raylan is still shooting an alarming amount of people and I'm shocked by the lack of presence of internal affairs. Also, resisting the urge to talk with a Southern accent, much like the week I spent singing everything I spoke in a cockney accent after watching Sweeny ToddâŚ
This Weekâs SongâŚ
This song has eaten up and spat me out since I heard it a couple weeks ago. Iâve not gone a day without playing it on repeat and each time my little brain is blown like itâs the first time.
Hope everyone has a great Sunday and here's to a better week!
Feel free to share your weeks in review, detailed or not, and tag me in it if you do! đ xx
Other week in reviews I think you should check out...
@rhoorl's week in review
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Have a weird little Royai modern fantasy AU excerpt
(I'm feeling really bad about myself as a writer and I want to share something I actually like. If you like it too, please let me know because I could seriously use the dopamine boost)
Thank you to @goneadrift and @dairogo for useful comments!
Good morning, this is Oakenwald University Radio and I'm Kain Fuery. As most of you already know, a body was found last night on the edge of campus, between April and Cadwallis Streets. We have an update from the Resembool County Police, who suspect the death wasn't accidental. They'll be releasing the victim's name once the family has been notified, and there was no comment on whether this could be related to the library break-in. We'll keep you updated as we learn more, and students and faculty are encouraged to keep an eye on your phones and email and listen to this station for updates, and to travel in groups and follow instructions from campus security. If you have any information that might be useful to the investigation, please call ###-###-####. Evening classes will be online for at least the next week, so check your email for details. We'll have an interview with Julie Adler from campus security at one this afternoon, and we'll be discussing how you can stay safe on campus and in town.
Resembool County Courier, May 5th, 20XX
Body Found on Oakenwald Campus Identified
Police have identified the man found dead on the Oakenwald campus on Sunday.
63-year-old Berthold Hawkeye's identity was released this afternoon after police were unable to locate his next of kin. Police also confirmed that Dr. Hawkeye's death was not a result of natural causes, and that they had reason to believe it was also not a "random event." Detectives are continuing to investigate, and say there is currently no suspect information. Anyone with pertinent information, or who saw or heard anything suspicious Sunday night, should call ###-###-####.
Correction (1:32PM): An earlier version of this article referred to Dr. Hawkeye as Mr. Hawkeye.
ROY MUSTANG, 2:08 PM
Do you remember when I told you about Riza?
MAES HUGHES, 2:08 PM
I don't think so
Wait is that the girl who went missing
ROY MUSTANG, 2:08 PM
Yeah.
The dead man they found was her father.
MAES HUGHES, 2:09 PM
Didn't see that coming
Did you look for her this year
ROY MUSTANG, 2:11 PM
I did my annual social media sweep
The police couldn't find her either.
MAES HUGHES, 2:12 PM
I'm sorry, Roy
Do you want to talk?
ROY MUSTANG, 2:15 PM
I have to finish this paper.
MAES HUGHES, 2:15PM
Call me any time.
Resemblool County Medical Examiner's Office - Autopsy Report
AUTOPSY REPORT PERFORMED BY: Sarah Rockbell, MD
âŚcause of death appears to be a single stab wound at the midline, the force of the blow fractured the sternum. Further examination revealed roots embedded into the subjectâs heart, which has been sent for DNA testing to confirm it is that of the decedent. Further assessment is on hold pending preliminary resultsâŚ
CAUSE OF DEATH: Terminal damage to organs
Death Notices
Berthold Hawkeye, 63, passed away May 4th in Fieldstone, where he had previously spent five years as an assistant professor of physics at Oakenwald University. He is remembered by colleagues as a unique and brilliant man. Dr. Hawkeye is preceded in death by his wife, Nicola, with whom he has one daughter, Riza.
A memorial will be held Wednesday, March 7, at Oakenwald Universityâs Paracelsus Garden.
UNKNOWN NUMBER, 7:21 PM
This is Riza Hawkeye. I'm at the bus depot off E-23 and I need help. I wouldn't be bothering you if it wasn't an emergency. Can you help me?
ROY MUSTANG, 7:21 PM
This isn't funny and you have extremely bad timing
UNKNOWN NUMBER, 7:23 PM
When you were thirteen you wanted to ask a boy out and I told you the line you had planned sounded more like a marriage proposal. You got annoyed at me because you would never marry someone who couldn't even [INSERT SCIENCE THING] and gave me a serious talk about how important a commitment marriage is.
UNKNOWN NUMBER, 7:28 PM
I'm almost out of data on this prepaid. Will you help me?
ROY MUSTANG, 7:28Â PM
I'm on my way
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December 5th - 6th, 2024
Good evening, team. My bf got me a job at a place. It is a "small business" and it happens to be on Poshmark... that's all the details I'm gonna give. But, I went in for training a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't go last weekend because it was Thanksgiving so I am finally going in again this weekend. Today in acting, this girl said something about how she works at H&M and I am tweaking because how is it so easy for everyone to find a job here????? I've been here for almost 4 months and I'm still jobless. I've been to 7 job interviews. I was hired twice and nothing happened. Anyways, I just want a normal retail or restaurant job nearby and I don't know why that's so hard. I have two whole years of retail experience too! But anyway, this job doesn't send the schedule to everyone, you have to ask for it. My bf texts me "you're on at 3 AM on Sunday" and I am like... what are you talking about??? I had to ask him to give me the schedule, no one informed me. Then I see the schedule and it says
me: Saturday (7:45 pm - 3 am), Sunday (7:45 pm - 3 am)
And I'm like freaking out because I have final on Monday at noon.
I'm like "bro I can't do that", I said my availability is weekends and 3 am is no longer Sunday. He was like "yeah but you're new, you can't really do anything blah blah". And yes, I'm new, but these people need to respect that I am a student and they already treat their employees pretty badly.
UPDATE: I wrote this last night while I was upset, but I texted someone and now I don't have to work that shift. Anyway, I never finished writing because my bf came over last night and we got food and talked to one of my roommates. It was really nice. BUT anyway.. today I saw my grandma for the first time in 4 months because my dad wasn't allowing me and my sisters to talk to her because he's crazy. I decided that I love her and I wanted to go see her, so I did. She got to meet my bf and I got to be at her house and it was actually amazing. Also today was the last day of one of my classes and I just feel so weird, I can't believe it's finally ending. Anyways... I'm a little dizzy right now for absolutely no reason so I'm probably gonna go to sleep now.
Love, Rona.
Here was my outfit today and my bf drinking lemonade.
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