#I had a mole removal today (3 moles on my neck)

[no-brain-just-akutagawa]

Incoherent rambling on about Dazai's arm

Listen, I myself didn't expect my ass to end up like this but I'd be lying if I said this whole reveal didn't make me think. I started wondering about how it impacts the different aspects of Dazai's design and fan perception of him so of course I had to write a short analysis of everything that's been surrounding it and drag you into it.

No brain cells were used during the creation of this analysis.

More under the cut:

How does it impact Dazai's enjoyers?

I want to start off by saying that it's funny how people are actually divided on whether Dazai has been secretly exercising OR he has skinny twig arms. Currently, it's pretty much 50/50. Even if for now there hasn't been any consensus on which group is correct, both sides are equally enthusiastic and that's what matters. I'm not gonna use any screen shots as evidence (I'm not gonna snitch on the arm enjoyers, don't worry) so you have to believe me on this one or check it yourselves. I personally have no opinion in this regard because I don't know shit about muscles but it's been on my mind for days now and I did go down the rabbit hole so it speaks for itself.

For me, seeing a part of his arm exposed like that for the first time was actually quite surprising, because until now it has always been covered. Due to that, I interpreted it more as a character design in a similar way unrealistic anime hairstyles aren't supposed to be questioned, just accepted as they are. Not something that has any relevancy. That's why I thought we weren't going to see his skin under the bandages at all and the sight of this small part of his arm shocked me a little bit.

I like how it wasn't a dramatic reveal or anything, just him rolling up his sleeve. After 100 chapters (including the 0.5 ones too), it was so random and yet so realistic. Like irl there are mostly no grand reveals when it comes to things like tattoos or scars. People do stuff and they're visible. That's it. Obviously, it's usually more like your friend who wears contact lenses is wearing their glasses for the first time since you've met them but still, I like how Dazai showing his arm wasn't treated as a big deal by the characters. It makes me wonder how the ADA would react to this reveal.

How does it impact the consistency of Dazai's design?

Dazai usually has anywhere from 3 to 7 "big" bandage wraps throughout the manga (I'm not gonna talk about the anime because the design is slightly different) and this number isn't consistent even within the same chapter and doesn't really change (the number becomes neither bigger nor smaller over time. It's mostly consistently 3–7 wraps, so I think Harukawa pays attention to that so very cool on their part). I think there were 2 instances when there were shown more bandage wraps and they were when he was in the hospital and when he was threatening Kouyou.

Sidenote: in the Kouyou panel, he's rolling up his right sleeve, so it's possible that he wears more bandages on the right arm than on the left. I don't think it was ever explicitly stated that he wears his bandages symmetrically, so even if we collectively agreed on that, it still might be wrong. If he wears them asymmetrically, I'm gonna go feral.

What it means in practice is that we can't really argue about the number of wraps while analysing this panel as the number of wraps shown here is within the usual range, so it's realistic.

What is more, the length of the coat changes too, HOWEVER, it never goes above the elbow (besides that one instance shown below). From my observation, it doesn't even go higher than the exact point of the bandage wrap end in this chapter. If I'm correct, it will mean that there were times in the manga when the sleeve was barely covering the bandage, but usually it was down the middle part of his forearm, so no plot holes here.

I quickly want to say that as a fan of coats I love Dazai's design and the fact that his coat changes length depending on movement like coats do

How does it impact the aesthetic factor?

To begin with, we don't really know if this length is how Dazai always wears his bandages or if he's wearing them like that in the current chapter because he's in prison and they don't allow him to wear more. For the sake of my wondering, I'm gonna go with the former, but the latter is just as possible.

We don't know exactly how much skin Dazai leaves uncovered but we definitely see how much is left covered and that is at least most of his forearms and his neck probably down to his sternum [did you guys know that all vertebrate besides fish have sterna? I keep learning because of bsd] because the most unbuttoned shirt we've seen him wear is in the 4th chapter and he has bandages there.

If Dazai wears bandages for the aesthetic, it makes sense for them to only be present where people can see them.

How does it impact the functional factor?

There's obviously the idea that he wears bandages not to accidentally nullify people around him and in this case, it would make sense for him to only wear bandages where people can directly touch his skin. From what we've seen up until now, this option doesn't seem likely, but it's still my go to theory when someone asks me why Dazai wears bandages. It could be a mixture of this and what I'm about to discuss.

I think this is the part when I have to put a trigger warning because I will discuss stuff surrounding self-harming.

From what Oda said in the light novel, we can figure out that the main reason (or at least a partial reason if he really does do it for The Fashion) why Dazai wears bandages is due to the scars he has. It's important that we're never told what these scars exactly are, where they're located and how Dazai got them. It's implied that a vast majority is due to self-harm and Dazai's "clumsiness" but we've also see him get shot or stabbed multiple times so these things definitely left scars.

When it comes to self-harm, it makes sense that his scars would be located at the lower part of his forearms or somewhere we can't see them. There are some lines visible on his elbow but whether they're scars or just shadows or some other art style thing, it's hard to tell. I also want to say that whether Dazai self-harms or not doesn't change his morality. Having or not having scars doesn't make anyone more or less human. Scarring is something permanent so judging somebody's morality based on scars they can't undo is unfair. I've seen people talking about it, so I wanted to quickly share my 2 cents.

There's also the aspect of his neck and if he's hiding scars there I think it's probably either something to do with being shot/slashed there (like certain characters did in the past, not saying any names but we all know who I'm taking about) or failed hanging attempts. Both seem plausible enough so we will have to wait and see.

In conclusion

Dazai's arm reveal was a very cool event that didn't completely destroy people's vision of Dazai but at the same time raised some new questions. Right now, I'm wondering the most if his bandages are symmetrical because, as I said, I kind of accepted that they are, but this chapter made me think that maybe I shouldn't have. If Dazai wears asymmetrical bandages, I'll like his design even more because I adore this kind of asymmetry in character designs.

We still don't know the exact purpose of these bandages but if Dazai had no problem randomly showing his uncovered skin around the DOA members, it means it doesn't matter to him. Or at least it isn't that much of a big deal as it could've seem from how secretive he was before. Maybe his feelings surrounding bandages changed throught the series?

I wonder if we're going to see more of Dazai's skin in the future or if that was just a one-time thing from Asagiri and Harukawa to send us into a frenzy. If they wanted to turn us into victorian townfolks who go crazy because they've seen an ankle for the first time then they succeeded. Oh, they succeeded.

[drwcn]

concubine/sleeper agent!wwx and prince!lwj bullshit continues: 

[story board 1] -  The two empires and the Imperial Lan Family [story board 2] -  WWX, Qishan Wen’s sleeper agent   [story board 3] -  The inner court (harem) of Hanguang Manor, prior to WWX

→ [Story Board 4] - “A-Xian”, the attendant of Jiang Yanli 

Wei Wuxian lived with the Jiangs for 2 years. After he came to Gusu as a 16-yro, he charmed/scammed his way into the Jiang manor, won the favour of Jiang Fengmian, the affection of Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng, and waited.  For a long time, no further instructions were given to him from Wen Ruohan. Then, one day, he saw Zhao Zhuliu on the streets of the Capital. Zhao Zhuliu was the head of Wen Ruohan’s intelligence bureau and incidentally, was also Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang’s shifu.  

— “Shifu, does bixia finally have an assignment for me?”  — “He does. Jiang Yanli is set to marry Lan Wangji. You are to find a way to accompany her to Hanguang-fu and get close to him.”  — “Close to him as in...?”  — “Any means necessary. He has a harem already, so you will not be the only one vying for his attention. Do think you can handle it?”  — “Well I don’t know, shifu,” responded WWX coyly. “ Word on the street is that this Hanguang-wang prefers pretty men. His ce-wangfu Jin Ziyan is famous for his handsomeness, and that mianshou Mo Xuanyu he keeps around is a looker too. Do you think I’ve grown pretty enough?” — “You seem very aware of his household, I’m surprised.”  — “Bixia sent me here to observe and learn; I’ve not been idle.”  

Wei Wuxian knew Jiang Yanli was set to marry Lan Wangji before she even knew herself. This was not a coincidence. Originally, three years ago, when Lan Wangji was first choosing members of his harem, Jiang Yanli had been considered, but at the time Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan were already engaged to be wed. Jin Zixuan had promised Jiang Yanli that as soon as he passed the imperial scholarly exam and secured a position for himself in His Majesty’s court based on his own merit and not on the influence of his father Jin-guogong (Duke Jin), that he and Yanli would marry. It was a marriage that his late mother had arranged with her best friend Yu Ziyuan, and both Yanli and Zixuan were amenable to it. However, when Jin Zixuan finally passed the exam and ranked 6th in the national polling, he chose to take a position far away from the capital and left without a word of affirmation regarding the engagement. The position was an important one given to Jin Zixuan by Emperor Lan Xichen himself and so in some ways, it was understandable that he could not refused. After Jin Zixuan left the capital, Jin Guangshan went to his “old friend” Jiang Fengmian and “apologized” profusely on his son’s behalf, spewing all sorts of words about how a young man ought to make his way in this world and such. However, this left the Jiangs in an awkward position. Jiang Yanli was 21 yrs old, already older than any unwed noble lady should be. The Jiangs were angry with this outcome, but given the politics of it, they could not say much...and that was when Lianfang-jun Meng Yao revisited an idea that had been put aside three years ago. — “Hanguang-wang...desires to marry A-Li?” Jiang Fengmian was somewhat flabbergasted. “But...” — Meng Yao smiled, “Jiang-houye*, three years ago I came on behalf of er-di to broker a marriage between our two families, but you and Yu-furen both refused on account of her engagement with Jin-xiao-gongye. But I must say ling’ai* is a fine young woman, eloquent and mild-mannered and would make a fine wangfei* some day.” — “Wangfei? but -” — “Yes, Hanguang-wang did say he would choose his own princess or prince consort, but as you can see, even with Jin Ziyan as he ce-wangfu, Qin-fu’ren and Luo-fu’ren at his side, our prince has not shown any desire for any of them to be his legal spouse. He is still waiting, searching, and who’s to say Jiang-gu’niang is not equal if not better than the lot of them?” 

What the Jiangs didn’t know was that Jin Guangshan was a traitor and had already sold his loyalty to Wen Ruohan, who promised him to make him a fanwang* when Qishan eventually annexed Gusu. JGS was a mole inside Gusu’s government secretly helping to further Wen Ruohan’s agenda. Nevertheless, Wen Ruohan wanted Wei Wuxian to get close to Lan Wangji, because as helpful as Jin Guangshan was, he was never fully trusted by the royal family and did not know their inner workings. Breaking Jiang Yanli’s marriage with Jin Zixuan was just a matter of convenience. Jin Guangshan was not fussed regarding a simple marriage when the reward would be much greater. As per WRH’s instruction, he used his influences in court to maneuver Lan Xichen into giving Jin Zixuan a position far away from the capital, thus removing his son from the dangerous political atmosphere and freeing up Jiang Yanli as a potential concubine for Lan Wangji. Then, Jin Guangshan sat back and allowed Meng Yao to finish the game that he started. Meng Yao was not a willing participant. He loved Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue but Jin Guangshan held the secret to his past and thus a noose around his neck. Everyone in court knew that Lianfang-jun Meng Yao was once a lieutenant in Nie Mingjue’s army and later became his personal secretary. He was known for his wit and silver tongue and the charming dimples on his cheeks whenever he smiled. However, not many knew that Meng Yao was the bastard son of Jin Guangshan and a prostitute. Meng Shi’s hope was that one day her son would be legitimized by his father, but alas her hopes were in vain. A child born to a whore would be condemned to a live in the “jian” caste unless otherwise freed. It was Nie Mingjue who chose to raise Meng Yao above his station and respected him as a person for the first time in his life. When Nie Mingjue and his long-time sweetheart the crown prince Lan Xichen were set to marry, Meng Yao thought his days of freedom would be over. To his surprise, Nie Mingjue opted to bring him back with him from the borderlands where Nie Mingjue’s battalion was stationed and introduce him to court and to Lan Xichen. It seemed almost impossible that Lan Xichen would love him as unapologetically as Nie Mingjue, but somehow he did. Meng Yao became the only concubine person in Lan Xichen’s harem other than Fengjun Nie Mingjue. Life was perfect, so perfect in fact Meng Yao even entertained the idea of coaxing Lan Xichen to take on a lady or two to be his concubine so that the palace could be filled with little ones. Of course he’d be a little jealous...but they would have children...and Lan Xichen loved babies.  Then of course, Jin Guangshan found out who he was, and from that point on, Meng Yao was no longer a free man. Every single moment of his life, his father threatened him with exposure. If anyone were to find out just how unseemly his origin had been, how not only was his mother a prostitute, but he himself had been nearly no different (given to the Nies as a gift by a stupid pandering official), his life would be over. At the very least Lan Xichen would be forced to banish him, at the worst, he’d be dead. Oh there would be no public announcement of course, but it would be said that he had taken ill and succumbed to his frail health, and with his death the smear on the Lan imperial family would be cleansed.  Meng Yao didn’t want to die, so he did as Jin Guangshan asked, even when the ask became Nie Mingjue’s life. (But NMJ isn’t really dead...Meng Yao was nothing if not a fighter. He could not let the father who’d cursed him to a less than hellish existence take away from him the first man who’d ever shown him love and kindness.)   — “Jiang Yanli must marry Lan Wangji.” Jin Guangshan instructed. “And you must ensure that when she does, the boy goes with her.”   — “What boy?”  — “The ward of Jiang Fengmian: Wei Wuxian.” 

So when Meng Yao came to speak with Jiang Fengmian and Yu Ziyuan, naturally he brought up the subject of Lan Wangji’s “preference.”  “The Qin family did very well in this regard. They were quite clever in allowing Mo Xuanyu to serve Hanguang-wang; the boy is too low-born to be of any threat. Even if Hanguang-wang’s harem of today becomes the imperial harem of tomorrow, Mo Xuanyu would not be more than a mianshou. His success, on the other hand, would ensure that Hanguang-wang’s favour stay with the Qin family. As we can see, their effort was not in vain. Qin Su became with child rather swiftly. Little Kaisong was born more no later than three months after Jingyi.” Meng Yao explained the delicate nature of the situation to the Jiangs. “If Jiang-guniang is to marry Hanguang-wang, forgive me for my boldness, but she would be wise to bring a male attendant of her own. Wangji is kind and would honour her as his concubine, but the man cannot control his inclinations, as none of us could.”  Yu Ziyuan exchanged a look with Jiang Fengmian. Yanli was older now; waiting for Jin Zixuan to keep his promise had delayed her and possibly ruined her prospects. If this marriage to Lan Wangji were to succeed... he is an honourable man who treated all his concubines equally and with respect. If he grew to like Yanli enough to make her his legal spouse as Meng Yao seemed to think is possible...then one day she would be Empress.  — “Hanguang-wang’s preference is men. Would he not prefer to have a wangfu instead of a wangfei?” Jiang Fengmian was still hesitant.  — “Indeed I’m sure he would, but politics being what it is...” Meng Yao sighed. “I’m sure Wangji understands that having the mother of his heir be his wangfei and his future empress is the best course of action to ensure the stability of the nation. We certainly have no shortage of examples to learn from in history: a shuchu prince with competing shuchu brothers walks a perilous road.”  — “Lianfang-jun is wise.” Yu Ziyuan nudged her husband. “Which young man do you suggest we include in the bridal party?”  — “That I have not decided, which is why I’ve come to see you today. Jiang-fu is a large manor, surely there must be some servants worthy to catch the eye of our Hanguang-wang. Yu-fu’ren, why don’t you assemble them, and we can have a pick?”  — “Lianfang-jun, that is a delightful idea.” 

Wei Wuxian was not surprised at all when all the young men of Jiang-fu under 21 and above 16 were assembled in a courtyard. He scanned the crowd; there were about 20-ish of them. One by one, they were beckoned forward, and when it was his turn, he walked with his head bowed towards the man sitting under the eave on a luxurious wicker chair, holding a fan. The fan was very expensive, drawn by an artist in the previous dynasty. An antique. This must be Zewu-di’s* only concubine, Meng Yao.  — “Greetings to Lianfang-jun.”  — “Raise your head, boy, let me take a good look at you.”  — Wei Wuxian obeyed. Meng Yao looked him over once, appraising and evaluating, before making a pleased little noise. “Hm. Your name?” —  “Wei Wuxian.”  —  “Wei...Wuxian?” Meng Yao gave a pretty laugh. “A rather boastful name for so young a person. My, but you are a lovely thing. Tell me, what is your age?”  —  “Eighteen.”   —  “Eighteen, excellent. It’s unfortunate that your name isn’t something a little more humble. What does your family call you?” —  “My family calls me A-Xian, dianxia.” — “Well A-Xian, if I were to tell you that you’ve been chosen to accompany Jiang-gu’niang to serve Hanguang-wang, what say you?”  — WWX thought *I’d say Lan Wangji better sleep with one eye open*, but said with a gracious and deferring bow of his head, “That would be my honour.” 

[next]

Note: 

houye - marquess ling’ai - a formal way to address someone else’s daughter  wangfei - princess consort  fanwang - a type of high-ranking prince with their own region/land to govern and possibly even their own army to command under imperial rule.  Zewu-di - emperor zewu. 

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

mango, m | jjk | 3

pairing(s): jungkook x reader

summary: A love story between bad boy Jeon Jungkook and a strange girl with mango eating obsession.

warnings: rated M (18+) for language; suggestive words/actions; bullying; non-idol!AU - university!AU; badboy!Jungkook x sociallyawkward!reader, ft bestfriend!Hoseok the wise man lol

–

2.

-

“What flavor?”

Your hand snaked down to your hoodie pocket, but Jungkook wrapped his fingers around yours, grip like iron.

“Whisper it to me,” he murmured, tapping his ear. You stiffened as you two neared the counter, chewing on your lower lip. Your other hand crawled to his black leather jacket, tightening around the folds. He smelled sharp and clean, warm against you.

“Mango.”

He grinned. “Should have guessed.”

He casually spoke to the cashier, ordering two scoops of mango ice cream. You didn’t bother to look, not wanting to see her smitten expression as she spoke to Jungkook. You could hear it in her voice. Jungkook’s hand tightened around yours, making you gasp into his neck. He shivered.

When you were alone, people tended to ignore you. You were good at fading into the background, earbuds in to avoid having to respond to anyone unless it was necessary. But being with Jeon Jungkook was different, because now you were constantly stared at, either because they were staring at him or staring at you and wondering why you were continually eating slices of dried mango.

Even with Hoseok it was different, because Hoseok didn’t hold your hand like Jungkook did. He didn’t hold out ice cream cones and smirk at you as you tried to take it from him.

“Lick it.”

“I’m not a child.”

“It’s going to melt.”

You frowned and took a small lick. It was sugary and potent with mango.

Jungkook’s lips parted, licking his teeth.

“You’re a pervert.”

“Your pervert.”

It made you feel all weird and floppy inside when he said stuff like that. You make a face as he wrapped his pink tongue around the dripping confection, slurping it up. That also made you feel weird, but in a different way.

You two sat at the table, exchanging the ice cream back and forth, eating it slowly.

“Sorry I made you talk for me again.”

He chuckled. “It’s fine. I like it.”

“I’ll try to be better at talking to strangers.”

Jungkook chomped into the cone, chewing thoughtfully. “It’s fine if you’re not. I’m not good at talking to them either.”

You raised an eyebrow. Jungkook grinned, white teeth flashing and his nose scrunching.

“It’s different when I’m with you though. Because you’re there, I don’t feel as anxious.”

His slicked-back black hair was pushed back on the right side with a silver clip. It made his cheekbones stand out more, accenting his sharp jawline and silver hoops. You looked away, feeling like you were looking too much. You took the cone, breaking off a bit to nibble on.

“Besides,” Jungkook continued, scooting closer to you. “I like it when you whisper in my ear.”

You stiffened, his warm breath on your neck. You took the rest of the ice cream cone and shoved it in his mouth. He choked a little, blinking at you in confusion as you stood up abruptly.

“I have to go buy a book.”

And then you began walking, Jungkook trailing behind you, your ears burning.

-

You hurried to Chemistry lecture even though you were early, clutching The Cobra Event by Richard Preston. Jungkook didn’t understand why you tried to read books in English.

“Seems so difficult,” he mumbled as you browsed the shelves, phone in your hand to translate the words you didn’t understand.

“Life is difficult.”

He looked down at your thick black stockings and short dark green skirt. “That’s true.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

A shoulder slammed into yours. You twisted, eyes shifting to the group of girls right next to you despite it being a large hallway. They were talking loudly about nothing that interested you. One of them caught your eye and sneered at you. You narrowed your eyes and swiftly stuck your heel out. One of the girls tripped and fell flat on her face.

You walked briskly past, nails digging into your book.

“Hey, bitch! Apologize right now!”

You heard the words being slung at you, but made your way to the Chemistry lecture door. It was locked.

Shit.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and flung it away, glaring. The young woman glowered back, her friends helping up the fallen one.

“You think you’re so fucking special, but once Jungkook fucks you, he’ll toss you aside like every other girl he’s dated,” she spat at you, emphasizing the last word with punching sarcasm.

You frowned, digging into your bag.

They laughed at you. “Always have to have something in your mouth, huh, slut?”

Your hand froze. There had been subtle signs before when you started dating Jungkook. Side looks and snide remarks made out of earshot. But this was the first time someone had actually confronted you about it. You weren’t normally the subject of bullying – you were good at staying out of everyone’s way and simply not existing in their universes.

Now, thanks to Jeon Jungkook, you were in everyone’s universe.

You cleared your throat and removed your hand from your bag. Fuck Chemistry. You turned away, intending to leave until class started. That is until you walked face-first into leather and denim. Too much slicked-back hair. A tiny winking mole under a mischievous smirk.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of dried mango. Your eyes went up to his dark brown ones.

“Eat it.”

You tried to reach for it, but he pushed your hand away with his free one.

“Eat it.”

You frowned and leaned forward to grab the mango with your teeth. The second your lips touched it, Jungkook bent down, chomping on the other half. Your eyes widened as his arm snaked around your waist, pressing your lips to his, sweet mango between you. Dark brown orbs onto yours, apologetic.

“Sorry I’m such a problem for you,” he murmured, pulling you to him.

Your gray sweatshirt hit his navy t-shirt, unexpectedly feeling the contours of his torso. His lips were still on yours, licking the sugar crystals off. Your black pleated skirt suddenly felt too short for some reason, your black tights not opaque enough for how tightly Jungkook was pressing his dark blue jeans against your legs. The silver and black boots you liked to wear stumbled against his black chunky sneakers.

“I’ll be better about protecting you,” Jungkook said softly, placing one last kiss on your lips before backing up.

You blinked at him, fingers reaching up to touch your mouth. The skin tingled strangely. You turned around, but the girls were gone. Your brows furrowed.

“I think I made my point,” Jungkook chuckled.

“Are they right?”

You turned around to face him. Jungkook tilted his head.

“Are they right about you?”

Now it was his turn to knot his brows. “Of course not. I’m serious about you.”

The Chemistry professor showed up then, unlocking the door. You turned away from Jungkook and hurried inside, not paying attention to him chasing after you, throwing yourself down into the front row seat and opening your book immediately. He tried to talk to you, even after the lecture, but you held The Cobra Event like a shield.

You ignored him for days.

-

“I borrowed a silver color today! Thought it would be different,” Hoseok grinned, tapping the silvery polish excitedly.

The side of your mouth quirked upwards ever so slightly as you helped him take off your current red polish. The wood of his table was a little stained by the acetone, but Hoseok assured you that the low table was ‘a billion years old and probably owned by a coke addict at some point’ so, in reality, you two were cleansing it.

“You’ve been cheerful these last couple weeks,” Hoseok quipped as he filed your nails. “Something good happen?”

You thought of that slicked back long hair and piercing dark eyes. The winking mole under pink lips. You frowned. You had ignored him even when he tried to poke at you between classes. Hoseok watched you carefully, frowning as you frowned.

“Uh oh. Trouble in paradise?”

You tilted your head. “I don’t think my life has ever been paradise, Hoseok.”

Hoseok smiled merrily, pinching the back of your hand lightly. “What about me? I’m the sunshine!”

You gave him a small smile. “You’re right.”

Hoseok smiled back, adjusting your hand on the table to spread out your fingers. Painting carefully, tongue between his lips. You watched him, lost in your thoughts. You wondered if Hoseok had ever had someone he wanted to be with all the time. Someone to hold his hand, go to places with.

“He kissed me.”

Honey brown eyes shot up, holding the brush between loose fingers. “Who kissed you?”

Your eyes found his. “How do you know if someone actually likes you and isn’t trying to turn you into a trophy?”

Hoseok put the brush back into the bottle and closed it, leaving three nails unpainted. He frowned slightly, taking a deep breath. “Is that it? You like someone, but don’t know if they like you back?” he asked, rubbing your knuckles.

You pursed your lips. You watched his fingers trace your skin, knowing it was different than the way Jungkook touched you. It was comforting when Hoseok hugged you or patted your back. When Jungkook had his arms around you, it was a feeling you didn’t understand, different from every other embrace you had ever had, from your mother, from doctors and nurses, from Hoseok.

You looked up at him. “I don’t know how I should be,” you said quietly. “I don’t know what signs are good ones. I don’t know how to react. I don’t know if I’m going too slow. And…”

You swallowed, eyes moving to the wall.

“I don’t know if I should even try, when I’m not even sure what love is.”

You heard Hoseok open the nail polish again. The scent attacked your nose and you turned back to him and his knowing smile. You thought he was going to tell you what to do. Hoseok was a happy person. He could teach you how to be happy.

“The funny thing is,” Hoseok mused, painting your last few nails. “No one really knows what love is until you’re in it.” He waved a hand over them, trying to dry them faster. “And it’s different for every person, every couple, even at different times in different phases of the same relationship.”

You watched him place small black hearts on the end of each nail with a pair of tweezers.

“Say what you want to say. Do what you want to do. If that’s too much for them, or too little, then talk about it.” He nodded, smiling as he placed two hearts next to each other on your ring finger. “Listen to their words the way you want yours to be heard.”

You stared at him, confused as to how Hoseok seemed to know these things. He added the top coat, not getting any on your skin. He was getting good at it now.

“Hoseok.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for being my friend.”

His smile could light up an entire nation.

“Same goes for you.”

-

You knocked on Jeon Jungkook’s apartment door impatiently. Was he not home?

There was a hasty shuffling and the door was yanked open. Jungkook blinked at you, startled.

He was shirtless.

Your eyes widened, seeing his naked chest. His tan skin was glowing, ink black tattoos along his right arm glistening. His hair was damp, long dark curls around his face, almost to his jaw. It wasn’t slicked back like it usually was, but freshly washed. Black sweatpants slung low on his hips; feet bare.

You nearly turned around and left, but he called your name. The way he said it, sad and deflated, made you pause. You stared down at your silver nails, at the small black hearts. Then you faced him, brows furrowed and determined.

“Let’s not date anymore.”

He blinked at you, crestfallen. “W… what?”

You nodded tightly. “I don’t want to be thrown away by you. I don’t want you to think I’m disposable or replaceable or whatever other words can be used to describe lack of importance.” Your hands twisted in your purple sweatshirt, bunching against your tight black leather skirt. “You’re important to me and I want you to feel the same way too. So, if you don’t feel that way, you better say it right now, because I am scared and I don’t know how to express myself except directly.”

You locked eyes with those intense dark brown orbs, taking a deep breath, frowning slightly. There. You said it. You didn’t know if it was right or wrong, but it was what you had.

“I love you.”

You blinked at him.

“Huh?”

Jungkook smiled, brown eyes sparkling. “I really, really love you, strange girl with mango eating obsession.”

Your lips parted at this declaration. He leaned against the doorframe, looking down at you.

“I don’t think I realized what love was until I met you,” he continued, looking sheepish. “People were nice to me because they thought I was good-looking. I thought that was enough, being desired by many, thinking it was love. And isn’t being loved by many better than being loved by one?” Jungkook chuckled, earrings sparkling in the light. “But that’s not true at all. Because it hurt way more when you ran away from me. It hurt way more when you didn’t respond to my texts. It hurt way more when you acted like I didn’t exist.” He tipped his head against the doorframe, sighing softly. “Usually, I just go hunt for affection from someone else. But this time I sat around and wondered what I did wrong and what I could do better.”

Jungkook reached out and placed his fingers against your cheek, stroking it lightly.

“I think, even if you didn’t want to be with me anymore, I wouldn’t go looking anywhere else for a long, long time. Maybe ever.”

You reached up and wrapped your fingers around his.

“What if… this train crashes and burns?”

He smirked. “Then we went down in a blaze of glory and it would still be worth it.”

You took a step forward. Jungkook tilted his head, expression calm. Another step. Now you were right in front of him.

“Can we not call it dating?”

He shrugged. “Call it whatever you want. I’m fine with anything.”

You twisted your mouth to one side. “I don’t know any good words.”

Jungkook leaned forward and kissed your forehead. “That’s okay. Doesn’t need a word unless you want one.”

You smiled.

Then you raised your head and captured his lips with yours, surprising him. His eyes widened as you held his hand tight, inhaling the scent of his soap. For once, he wasn’t all leather and denim, too much gel, and sharp clean cologne. And you didn’t taste like sweet dried mango, no book to hold on to.

It was just you and Jeon Jungkook, standing in his doorway, sharing a kiss.

-

4. smut.

--

masterpost

[4dtk]

room 405

@akutagawahakuryuunosuke: “Hi, if you're open for a request, can i req a scenario for Donghyuck please? The plot is he was her doctor when her bone got fracture, her first impression of him is he was too annoying but attractive as a doctor, he flirt with her sometimes he completely ignoring her after that is up to you thank you very much hope my plot doesnt confuse you ps add smut please if you like hehehe thank you” i know nothing about hospital and healthcare stuff so sorry if its inaccurate </3 i don’t mind to include something suggestive, but i won’t do full blown smut hahah. hope you understand! <3 also i didn’t really show him ignoring y/n aha im sorry 😔 enjoy it tho!!

ps, i might be ignoring health guidelines in this fic but just pretend its okay for two people from different places to kiss TT

warnings: suggestive, swearing

"your next check-up will be on 20th sept 2020 at 2.40pm. to avoid delays, please register at least 15 minutes before your appointment and patiently wait at consultation room 405. this is a reminder to wear your mask at all times, or you will be denied access on hospital grounds."

it was normal, this one email from the hospital system. when you switched to your inbox however, there’s several emails from your doctor, lee donghyuck, otherwise known as lee haechan.

the contrast is drastically different, a playful tone laced in between each email. he sent emails like texts, one after the other with hardly any interval in between.

donghyuck had gotten too friendly for your liking, cracking jokes in the midst of checking your temperature and dancing around as he relayed messages to his nurses and colleagues.

he was annoying.

sure, after a few visits to the hospital, you had gotten used to his antics, even getting a “it’s just how he is” from the nurse who had taken care of you from the first day.

looking down at your cast, you prepare to wrap it up before taking a shower, ready to crash for the night before your mind fills with thoughts of donghyuck.

thoughts that highlight how good his side profile looks, noticing how his moles stands out more than usual as you secure the plastic over the hard plaster made to fit your arm.

thoughts that highlight his smooth voice when he isn’t teasing you and the gentle fingers on your skin as he secures a new cast for your broken limb.

halfway through the healing process, there are a couple more check-ups that you will need to attend until it fully heals, and until then, you’d see donghyuck way more than you liked.

as september 20th creeps closer, you go about your life, finding that your mind occasionally drifts to donghyuck in between work and meals.

if you were thinking this much about him, there has to be some feelings involved, right?

your theory was proved wrong when he sits in front of you on check-up day, laughing as he types furiously on his computer.

“how’s your arm, (y/n)?” donghyuck asks, adjusting the glasses that sat on his nose. there’s a sly smirk under his mask, you’d like to assume. while you sit on the bed beside his table, he types a few more words before standing up.

you move it up and down a little as he makes his way to you, “it’s okay, i guess. i don’t really feel anything.”

donghyuck lays a hand on your cast, glancing at you through hooded lids. weirdly, this feels like the start of a porno.

“do you feel this?” he says right as you stifle a laugh, trying your best to hide your smile behind the mask.

“donghyuck, i’m sorry, but are you flirting with me?”

he drops his jaw, then proceeds to pout. huffing, he crosses his arms and turns his head childishly, and while that made you laugh, you found that way too adorable.

“so what if i am? you’ve never really reciprocated it from before.”

you place a hand on his bicep, coaxing him out of his position.

“i’ve never reciprocated it because one, it’s unprofessional, and two, you ignore me at times too!” you eye his hand cautiously, opting your own to stay where it was.

“so you wouldn’t complain if i kiss you now?” you gasp at the proposal, as if you haven’t thought of doing things to him. your fingers delicately remove your mask, a little too eager for your liking.

donghyuck does the same, keeping his eyes on you as your neck naturally cranes upwards, eyes sending him a silent plead before he finally descends on you.

his lips feel soft and plump, constantly melting into you as you do with him. his hands are hot on your cheeks while your arms stay limp.

in a matter of seconds, you manage to switch positions. the two of you catch your breaths as you get settled on his lap, straddling donghyuck while his hands trail down your sides.

“are we really doing this in the midst of the fucking coronavirus?” you whisper, eliciting a moan from the other when you shift in his lap.

“well, are you in? if not, i’ll stop.”

the way you nod brings crimson to your cheeks, never feeling this way for any other person.

“you haven’t gone anywhere in the past month, right? you’re a good girl, aren’t you?” a shaky sigh escapes you, the unexpected praise causing you to fidget and whine as donghyuck cups your ass.

“eyeing me non-stop from the first day i’ve become your doctor,” his hand travels towards your middle, pressing down a finger to test the waters, “you wanted me for the longest time.”

you shamelessly mewl into his neck, squirming at the pleasurable pressure. donghyuck grins at that, kissing down from your jaw to your neck.

your mind is clouded with donghyuck’s scent, thinking only of how his hands travelled over you so gently. the two of you have your fun for a few minutes and the initial bicker is long forgotten.

a ‘tsk’ makes its way into the room, then, the same nurse standing at the door that led to room 404.

“hurry it up, the next patient’s already waiting outside,” she says unimpressed.

donghyuck grumbles while you climb off of him, immediately resuming his professional position. the frown stays on his face as he types out your prescription, refusing to meet your eyes in presumably, shame.

before you leave, you press a kiss to his cheek, “watch for my email, hotshot.”

donghyuck doesn’t answer, pulling you in for a last kiss as you head to the pharmacy in smiles.

you hear nothing on donghyuck’s end until you head home, unaware of the smile you carried all the way home.

“i couldn’t wait for you to email first. after much thought, i realise that was a really bad way to confess that i like you,” he admits over an email, sent a few minutes ago.

“i just ended work and it was a little hard to keep my boner hidden for the past few hours,” you giggle over that, scrolling down to see the rest of the message.

“if you still like me (hopefully), i’d like to meet up as donghyuck, the human. and… not the doctor. did that make sense?”

at the end, there’s a classic sign off by the doctor, as he always has done:

- donghyuck 😼👍🏼😎

with a smile, your fingers fly over the keyboard, itching to reply him before another email comes in.

“also, you were really cute today.”

oh man, so there are feelings involved, refuting your previous statement.

your heart beats as fast as the music playing in your ears, hitting send with your number carefully typed out. in a second, he texts first, a message saying ‘i like you’ lighting up your screen.

[jxxvvxxkcrack]

Lee Jae Wook Vlive 21 June 2021

Stats

Total vlive viewers: 35675 Total likes: 2072339 Length: 1 hr 01 minute T-shirt: Unlock your life by Pars Co. https://www.parspars.com/product/unlock-your-life-rainbow-white-short-t-shirt/

He's on a diet now.

He threatened to turn off the Vlive a few times because of all the people who said they were not studying for their exams to watch it :P

He's growing out his hair now for the next project.

He had to ban requests for him to say fans' names in the middle since too many requests were pouring in for him to say their name. Don’t blame them lol.

Talking with fans

What is your next project? You should see articles about it soon Will you do more vlogs? It's difficult to do vlogs in the pandemic period since you need to wear a mask everywhere. What do you do in your free time? I eat a lot, sleep a lot, and exercise a lot. Can you donate your Jordan shoes to me? No I can't, and then launched into some anecdote about something about high school, which is unsubbed. When will you hold a fan meeting? Probably after the pandemic. "You're watching me at hagwon (cram school)? I will scold you!" And he did lol it was so cute. What do you do when you first wake up? A hot water shower, and then..? [unsubbed] Do you like overseas fans? Of course I do, I love my overseas fans. I'll come for you after the pandemic is over. Current favourite song: Recently, ‘Lost’ by Maroon 5 was released. It's the best. Will you do an online fan-sign event? That would be interesting! What's your MBTI? I haven't done it yet! Please do the MBTI! OK I will definitely do it! Can you do a bear heart? What's a bear heart? There's so much I don't know. Teleport vs being able to tell the future? This is an interesting question. I would choose to teleport. I live in the Gangnam area, and the traffic there is so bad! So I would choose 'Teleport'. (I didn't know he lived in Gangnam). Do you have a driver's license? Of course I do. Shoe size: 285mm Can you speak English? No, I can barely speak Korean well :P

-but in the middle he did say "Say hi to global fan" LOL-

Your favourite late night snack? Fried chicken, jokbal, and bossam. I spend a lot of money on food :P Would you date someone 7 years younger? 7 years younger? It's not a bad idea. I’m thankful (that someone 7 years younger likes me.) Would you date someone 7 years older? (laughs) It's a funny question. Why haven't you been seen anywhere in public? I don't go to many places, only to the gym and back to my home. Favourite snack: Goguma (sweet potato). It's sad, right? (Implying he's on a diet.) And then he randomly said he's tall but doesn't have good proportions (possibly someone asking why he exercises so much :P)

Do you like cats and dogs? I love them. I have a friend who has a shiba-inu called Chadol. It was so cute I went to his house every day to see his dog. You should eat more: You may not like me then! D: I'm studying Korean, study with me? I'm also trying to get better at Korean. Shall we do it together? (so flirty) Did you remove the mole on your neck? No, I didn't remove it. I won't remove it. What's your handphone wallpaper? It's a white wall with an orange stripe, somewhat Rothko-esque. He said he took it at his house's parking lot, and "It's pretty, isn't it?" Which celebrity friends do you have? (Playfully) 비밀 Do you like mint chocolate? I love mint chocolate. My friend told me not to declare this, and said that saying that I like it is a matter of life or death :P People say it tastes like toothpaste but it tastes nice to me! What colors do you like? Blue. Blue and dark colors. Isn't long hair uncomfortable? It is, but I will cut it one day. Your long hair looks cool: (Teasingly) I'm going to cut it soon~ Do you get along well with your elder sister?  Yes, I really like my relationship with her. Which of your characters is most like you? Lee Jang Woo from When The Weather Is Fine. (Is he that good in his studies? Lol. And then he said something about a unicorn, which I do recall seeing in the drama, I think he used "___ unicorn" to brag about himself to his younger sister :P) Jjajangmyeon vs bibimbap? This is really hard. Do I get to have soup with bibimbap? Favourite perfume: Can I say the brand? I guess it doesn't matter. Slow Dance by Byredo. It's my favourite perfume. Today's TMI: I woke up early and went to the gym. Do you ride your bike often? About 3 times a week? Oppa because of you I'm going to Chung Ang University: So you'll be my junior huh. (laughs) Oppa, can you close your left eye and point to your right cheek? (he obediently follows the prompt.. he’s really an actor lol) "You!! I almost fell for it! Gosh, my mum will pass out if she sees this." He revealed a two string bracelet on his left hand while adjusting the camera. Favourite dessert: Croffle? Croffle. I really like croffle. Current body wash: I'm using a body wash by Lush (only he says it as Lush-ee, which is just adorable.) Can you speak Japanese? I love animes but Japanese is so hard. I will study hard! When will you do a rap? I may try it one day. (I wonder if he knows about that old rap video floating around lol.) Dimples vs. Eyes: Eyes? I think he might be talking about his forehead wrinkles instead of eyes actually, so the translation is wrong. What animes do you like? He didn't answer, but said there are many animes on Netflix that he watches. Eating chimaek while watching the world cup? Eating chicken and beer sounds good but, my agency probably wouldn't like it. Can you say a line of Baek Kyung since it's been a long time? (playfully) I won't do it~ Iced americano vs. hot coffee: Iced americano. He said 'eoljuga', which roughly means 'I’ll drink iced Americano even if I freeze to death'. :P What app do you use most often? Naver? I have many things I need to look up :P Which of your parents do you resemble? Sometimes my mum, but sometimes my dad. Do you like kalguksu (knife cut noodle soup)? Yes, I love kalguksu and sujebi. Favourite ice cream flavour: Mint chocolate. (Bursts into laughter) Who do you like better - your mum or your dad: Omma. You thought I wouldn't answer, didn't you. (He has thanked only his sister and his mum in an award ceremony before lol. Poor Jaewookie appa) Oppa I'll date you: I'll reject your offer. (bursts into laughter again). Are you at the agency now? Nope. Please name the fanclub: This is hard. It (the fanclub) should go on forever, shouldn't it? Send an email to the agency. 5 year old Jaewookie vs 5 copies of Jaewook?: Of course 5 copies of Jaewook. One to exercise, one to work, one to stay at home and eat.. Do you dip or pour sauce for tangsuyuk? But, why would you pour water on fried food? I'll say dip. Jjajang vs. jjampong: That's hard! When working, jjajang. When resting, jjambong. *Nods sagely to himself* (Although he instinctively said 'jjampong' first). When moving house, jjajang. What message from fans cheered you up the most? It was this letter I got. It said "you make us happy when you're working hard, but don't work too hard." It cheered me up a lot. Soju vs. beer: Soju Cider (Sprite/lemonade) vs cola: Cola Do you eat pineapple on pizza? I think it tastes nice! Hawaiian pizzas. I also really like pineapple. Fall or spring? Fall. I really like spring too, but there are too many bugs. Small but definite happiness? (He understood the abbreviation immediately, which is sooo different from when the Running Man cast are introduced to any new lingo lol) When I bike, I don't drink any water. I have a routine; after biking, I run for about 6km, then I drink water. That water at the midpoint mark is so delicious. Oppa I like you, please scold me: Why would I scold you. I would compliment you :P Good job. Favourite boy group: BTS. They're so cool (safe answer!) Ramen vs. kimbap? Don't you eat them together? How tall are you? 187cm tall. Which variety show would you like to appear on he most? "I have never been on a variety show yet. Have you seen Kokkomu? When I watched Kokkomu I cried a lot. My tears came out like diamonds." lol. In reference to an earlier question. No idea what Kokkomu is. https://newsbeezer.com/koreaeng/kokkomu-which-was-just-popular-is-controversial-due-to-the-copying-of-the-youtube-channel/ Possibly this? Beef or pork? Pork How long have you been tall? I've always been tall. Then he gives a cheeky wink! Oppa can you go on on Knowing Bros? I'll have a hard time talking in banmal in front of all the sunbaenim. I'll do more Vlive in the future. *compromise* lol. Oppa kajimayo: If I don't leave, the staff can't leave work either :P Can you fill an hour (of Vlive?): Shall we fill an hour? Do you want to be in a play or musical? Of course I do. Plays require the best form of acting. What's the first thing you want to do when the pandemic is over? I want to go to a pork belly bbq place and eat comfortably without a mask. What's the worst part about acting? Every moment is hard. It's not an easy job. Why do you always wear 2 T-shirts? I like T-shirts but, but my sweat changes their color. I don't like that, so. Favourite overseas country? Filming Alhambra was my first time overseas. I didn't even take many photos. I want to send you T-shirts: Don't, don't! while vigorously shaking his head. (worried that his fans will spend money) What is your life movie? I really love Robin Williams. It's not my life movie, but I love the Dead Poets' Society. Did you really go to Alhambra? Back then, my role was really small, so I didn't really know what was going on, but (I did go to the palace? is what it sounds like.) Would you rather be 3m tall or have a 400mm shoe size? Wouldn't it be better to be tall? (what’s the point of having big feet?) Oppa don't go to the army: I have to go someday.. I still have a lot of time, and will work hard When will be our wedding? Am I getting married? (laughs) Pepsi or Coca cola: I like any cola. I'll go to the army for you: Andwae it will be hard! Although apparently it's not as hard as it used to be. Are your family members all as tall as you? Yes my family members are all tall too. What do you do on your free days? I'm a freelancer so I don't have free days.  How do you keep your skin looking so young? Lancome (he's now promoting Lancome). I came here right after a Lancome event. I really like Lancome. Tell me about your bracelet: I'll ask my stylist later :P When you come to Pohang I'll guide you!: I love gwamegi! (half-dried Pacific saury) Do you like to cook? I really like to cook. I love it so much even when people tell me not to cook, I will still cook. Oppa come to my school!: Which school is that? Tell me. Although I probably won't be able to read it. (cheeky smile). I'm really mean now, aren’t I. Favourite side dish? I like them all. Mokpo: Dodosolsollalasol was filmed in Mokpo. I ate aehobak jjigae (zucchini stew) there and it was amazing. Do Vlive at home? I'll figure out how to do it! I'll learn everything today. You use black and white hearts a lot on IG, what does it mean? It's the color of my tee. Just kidding, I just choose a color of heart that goes best with the photo. How much can you drink? Should I bluff? If I'm bluffing, when I drink alone at home, about 3 bottles? Just kidding, I get drunk after about 1.5 bottles (of soju). Favourite sports: Skiing, swimming, bowling. Was it hard to use a dialect in the Battle of Jangsari? Using a dialect was really hard. Can you do an IG live? I'm scared to do live - you can't make a mistake when all of you are watching. I have to be careful. Why aren't you seen in public? I answered that earlier, you are late. LOL. Your best dish? Western food? Something like risotto? Plans to film a movie? I want to but I should get offered first. Joking. Lol. I was told off for being late (the commenter above): Haha sorry.

Best fan questions/comments:

Live as a hamster or a ham forever?

Your pimples are so cute (mistranslation, she meant 'dimples'): "I have 4 dimples."

Don't smile, you'll give me a heart attack: I'm also having a heart attack seeing so many fans. I like it (that there are many fans on the vlive) but it's also scary. So cute.

Are you a microwave? You melted my heart: You're all so witty, jjinjjaru..

I'll make money. You just cook: You're so funny..

[mulderist]

Wicked Game

Chapter 1  // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3  // Read on A03

Washington, D.C - 1948. Fox Mulder is a detective on the top vice unit; scandal, corruption, and lies come with the territory. He is forced to investigate a fellow officer and finds the lies go much deeper than the truth.

tagging @today-in-fic​

CHAPTER 4

3rd District Precinct Washington, DC

The modest forensics lab was situated in the basement of the precinct building. A fitting location. It was always a strange trip downstairs, almost like walking into a spook house at an amusement park. You’d notice every creak from the antiquated filing cabinets, there were shelves of textbooks, yellowing medical journals, rows of glass jars containing shriveled specimens. The morgue was tucked away in a corner with a series of metal doors on the tiled wall and a surprisingly shiny slab resting comfortably over a drain in the floor. No more room at the inn by the look of it. Autopsy tools hung neatly on the wall like a butcher’s knife set; at least in this corner the boys kept things tidy. I walked a little deeper into the lab and saw Byers flipping through an issue of National Geographic. I cleared my throat as I approached.

“Mulder. What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Byers asked, dropping the magazine in his lap. The 3rd was fortunate enough to have three pillars of forensic science in Melvin Frohike, Richard Langley, and John Byers. They had their finger on the pulse of crime investigation techniques and were eager to share their findings with practically anyone who would listen. A good deal of the jargon went over my head but it enhanced my vocabulary to say the least. 

“Frohike called me regarding Spender’s case,” I replied, “We might have a golden ticket on our hands.” 

“He and Langley have been upstairs for a while but they should return soon. Have a seat.” He motioned to a wooden stool near a cluttered lab counter. I obliged. Byers was not much of a talker when he was by himself so his attention shifted back to busywork. I picked at the rough edge of my thumb watching Byers place a metal canister on the end of the counter. He opened it then took a sample of a dark substance, added it to the boiling water, and adjusted the flame on the Bunsen burner changing the intensity. He looked up at the wall clock and turned back to his experiment. The color change in the beaker shifted to a dark brown. Byers gave it a stir and covered the top. He sensed my curiosity.

“Coffee will be ready in a few minutes if you’d like some.”

I laughed and politely declined.

“Don’t you have a percolator?”

“Now where’s the fun in that?” Just then Frohike and Langley entered the lab.

“Oh good. You’re here,” said Frohike as he reached for a nearby lab coat, slipped into the sleeves and flipped it up onto his shoulders.

“We had a whale of a meeting upstairs,” Langley added, shoving a worn out briefcase across the counter making an open space, “Looks like Spender’s dirty little secret is out.”

“Krycek, my informant, pegged him as a hop head. I knew Spender could be a little on edge but I thought he was too straight-laced to use heroin.” I folded my arms. “What did Skinner have to say?” 

“The boss was none too pleased to find out that one of their top boys was on the horse.” Langley stated.

“And a thoroughbred at that. He was probably dipping into Vincenti’s supply.” Frohike remarked as he adjusted his glasses.

I sighed and shook my head. Byers poured his scientific brew into a small mug for himself and took a sip before saying, “Well there’s your motive.”

His colleagues shrugged in agreement as they each grabbed a cup of coffee.

“Makes you wonder if he was just starting out and got careless,” Langley said.

“Or he had been knee deep in the shit since making a deal, overconfidence took over, he couldn’t pay up and then blammo,” I said as I stood and leaned against the lab counter. Something about this seemed too easy. We had the gunman, we had a relatively clear motive, and we had the Captain scrambling to stuff this whole matter back under the rug. I needed to track down The Titan and put the squeeze on him for some information. Though with a newly buried partner I would need a second set of eyes on my surveillance job.

“Well boys, it’s been a treat but I have to make some telephone calls.”

“Hey Mulder,” Frohike called, “you should take some time for yourself; slow down for a day maybe.”

“That’s what whiskey is for.” I replied as I left the lab and took the stairs, not knowing what I’d walk into when I hit the bullpen.

Several officers didn’t bat an eye as I passed by their desks and I continued to avoid any eye contact as I glanced at my wristwatch. I reached my desk and pulled the phone closer as I took a seat, picking up the receiver. My index finger hovered over the rotary and just as I started to pull the number I heard the distinct baritone of Captain Skinner calling my name. It wasn’t bellowed so I knew I wasn’t being called in to serve detention for misconduct. I placed both hands on my desk and stood then met him at his office door. He blocked the threshold.

“Have you heard?” he asked.

“Yes. I was just down in forensics. I came up here to get started on what I presume is a surveillance assignment.”

Skinner thought for a moment.

“I want you to get a hold of Krycek. He’s going to accompany you on this detail.”

“Oh he’ll be thrilled.”

“Go on then,” Skinner said as he tensed his jaw, “And get me some goddamn answers.”

------

Georgetown Waterfront 1:05 p.m.

  Rain tapped angrily against the roof of the unmarked cruiser as I sat parked down the block from the Piccola Italia restaurant. It was a hole in the wall but a well known haunt for some of Vincenti’s crew. I hoped Carlo Lodi would be tempted by a lunch special of pasta arrabiata and cheap wine. My deli sandwich and soda I grabbed before the cloudburst paled in comparison, but I needed something in my stomach. I took another bite and watched a series of passersby through the streaks of rain on the window. I was early. I adjusted the radio dial and finished my lunch. With a swipe of the wiper blade I noticed a black coupe pull up in front of the restaurant. The door popped open and a hulking figure exited the passenger side, adjusted his jacket, and stepped under the awning out of the rain. He waited for his driver to join him before opening the front door. Just then there was a knock on my window. Krycek had his collar pulled up and drips of water cascaded off the brim of his hat. I rolled the window down to get a better look.

“You gonna let me in?”

“I don’t know if I can afford it.”

“Damnit Mulder...”

“It’s unlocked, Krycek.” I said as I looked at the empty passenger seat then rolled up the window, catching a splash of rain. He crossed in front of the car and waited for traffic to clear before opening the door. He sighed as he removed his hat and brushed off the rainwater. 

“Alright fill me in,” Krycek said. I turned down the radio and had the last swig of soda. 

“Recognize the car down there?” I began. He leaned forward and caught a glimpse as the wiper blade swiped the windshield.

“That looks like Carlo Lodi’s coupe.”

“He’s not alone. His lunch date is a suit that’s either a driver or a business partner, if you get my meaning. They’ve been in there for maybe ten minutes so if I move I can get what I need before his main course arrives.”

“Okay then,” Krycek said as he put his hat back on. 

“I’m just going to have a nice conversation. I need to get him talking. If I get him back to the precinct I can be more heavy-handed.” I adjusted my fedora and touched my weapon for reassurance. 

“You’re not saying “we” a whole lot. What the hell did you need me for?”

“At first I had you joining me on spoiling Lodi’s lunch but then I thought he might recognize you as a mole so you get to stay put. Keep the car running. If things take a turn I want you to head to the 3rd; with or without me. Ask for Captain Skinner.”

“Aw shucks this feels just like old times,” Krycek replied as he fished out a beat-up pack of Morleys shaking a stick loose. He pulled it out with his teeth then tipped his head down as he flipped his lighter, marrying flame to paper, blessing the squad car with a halo of smoke. Car tires splashed through wet pavement and I took that as my cue to get this show on the road. I opened the door and stepped onto the curb. The rain had slacked up as I walked. I narrowly avoided an umbrella being opened by an old man exiting a taxi. He continued on like I wasn’t even there.

Piccola Italia’s brick facade with its windows dressed in red and white gingham curtains fit the stereotype, as much as I hate to admit. But none of that mattered when I stepped inside and was hit with the aroma of bread, oil, and garlic. If I didn’t have a more pressing obligation I would have claimed a table and ordered a plate. I flashed my badge to the young woman at the cashier’s counter and she quickly nodded then went back to straightening menus. I moved past dark wood tables with diners enjoying an array of pastas and soups. My instinct led me through the dining room and I happened upon a curved booth tucked in a back corner near the kitchen. Lodi was there with his driver, luckily still just the two of them. He was reading the sports page from the newspaper and folded it in half then tapped a finger against it.

“That fuckin’ horse is gonna make me a stack of green, I’m telling ya.” He boasted with a laugh.

“Excuse me, Mr. Lodi?” I asked as I approached his table. He put down the paper and took a sip from his glass of wine and gave me a quizzical look.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah I believe you can.” I carefully reached for my badge and flipped it open. “Detective Fox Mulder. I just want to chat.”

“And what makes you think I want to listen, detective?”

“I see you got the sports section there. What’s your game? Baseball, football?”

Lodi shot a look at his driver and gestured towards my direction. 

“This guy...if you must know Mr Mulder, I like the races.”

I took a seat across from him and folded my arms. Then I truly realized how much of a mountain this man was. His square jawline met a thick neck that was being held together by a stiff shirt collar and silk tie. I was waiting for it to burst open with each swallow. Broad shoulders and a barrel chest led to limbs that were solid muscle. The ring on his left pinky finger was about the size of a doorknob and had an insignia in the center. His pin-striped suit looked custom given his proportions. I got a little too comfortable and leaned forward in my chair, threading my fingers together.

“About a week ago, did you talk to a Jeffrey Spender about a horse race. Maybe come to collect a bet?” The mention of the name caught Lodi’s attention and he picked up on my code. Before he could respond, a waiter saddled up to the table and delivered a plate of pasta with a fiery red sauce. Lodi took another sip of wine.

“If I had to come collect you know there was a good reason for it,” he said as he twisted pasta on his fork then took a bite. The other man at the table started to undo his cuffs and slowly roll up his shirt sleeves.

“Well on behalf of the 3rd District precinct, I’d like to invite you over for a little heart to heart.,” I maintained a relaxed facade even though I knew what was coming, “We’ve got evidence placing you at a bar in Adams Morgan the same night as Spender.” Lodi ate another bite and closed his eyes savoring the spice. As he took his wine glass he raised his pinky finger which was the signal. I blinked and then I swear to God I saw enough stars to grace the American flag. A meaty Italian right hook slammed into my cheek like a sledgehammer. Glad he wasn’t wearing a ring. I was knocked sideways to the floor and I tried to catch the nearby table but instead let a dining chair unceremoniously break my fall. I never could take a hit. The few patrons in the restaurant barely took notice at the commotion. Carlo dabbed at the corner of his mouth and rose from his seat.

“Thank you, Theo,” he said as he moved over to pat my assailant’s shoulder. The enforcer’s goon cracked his knuckles and stood looking very pleased with himself. I moved my tongue to the inside of my cheek tasting fresh blood. I adjusted myself to sit upright, though not ready to stand just yet. I snatched a neatly folded napkin from one of the empty place settings and tried to dam the small crimson river from my mouth. Carlo crouched down next to me.

“So, you thought you could just walk into this fine establishment, disrupt my meal, and arrest me?”

“Until now it hasn’t stopped me,” I mumbled against the napkin. 

“Unless you got a warrant in hand, I’m not going anywhere. And this business with who was it...Spender? That’s done and so are you.”

“Why don’t you just bump me off like you did him?” I asked as I tossed the bloody napkin aside. Carlo thought for a moment and leaned in closer.

“I like seeing you get knocked around every once in a while, Detective Mulder.  Puts a smile on my face.” He blessed me with two exaggerated slaps on the cheek then got to his feet. “I think we’re finished here. Theo, show this son of a bitch the way out.” Carlo returned to his meal and raised a glass in my direction. I was still on my ass. I reached for my fedora and Theo took the liberty of hoisting me to my feet. The gorilla hands that left a new beauty mark gripped my upper arms and shoved me towards the kitchen.

“Easy there junior, my dance card is full.” I said as we moved through a swinging door. I was briefly distracted by the aroma of simmering marinara, stewing beef, and an array of spices.  The sous chef and line cooks unphased by the disturbance continued prepping as I was hustled towards the back door and pushed out into the alley.  I stumbled into the brick wall across the way and before I could turn around to get the final say, the goon slammed the metal door shut.  My head tilted back and I gingerly rolled it from side to side. I adjusted the brim on my hat and shuffled down the alley towards the street.

The rain had passed and I found Krycek parked where I left him. He had a fresh cigarette in his lips and was reclined against the car seat.  I tapped on the window and he unrolled it letting the rhythm of Count Bassie and his orchestra glide onto the sidewalk. 

“Looks like negotiations went well,” he said with a chuckle.

“Yeah you could say that,” I replied. My cheek felt like someone was inflating a balloon under the surface. I needed a drink. A wisp of smoke swirled out of the window and Krycek flicked the butt into a puddle. 

“Take the car back to the precinct.”

“What?”

“You can leave it running with the doors open if you want.”

“What are you going to do?”

“Take some advice I was given earlier today and get some rest. This case isn’t going cold anytime soon.” I watched as Krycek shifted gears and pulled away from the curb. There was a pang of mistrust thinking that the unmarked squad car would end up somewhere along the Potomac; but I also got the suspicion that Alex liked playing detective. Also long as I kept him on a short leash I could use him to my advantage. I crossed the street and walked the block until I found a phone booth. Before I slid open the door I had to spit out the stale blood that was collecting in my mouth. My cheek burned like fire. I picked up the receiver and dialed the operator.

“Yes I’m looking for a Dana Scully. Georgetown address.”

[k-y-andjellysandwich]

would you answer all of the questions or is that asking too much

Well shit I guess if I must. But also good on you for using anon so I can’t get you back for this:

·         1. Are looks important in a relationship? Kinda, but I think the more emotionally attracted to someone you are, the more physically attracted you become too.

·         2. Are relationships ever worth it? Obviously yes

·         3. Are you a virgin? No

·         4. Are you in a relationship? No

·         5. Are you in love? No

·         6. Are you single this year? Yes

·         7. Can you commit to one person? Yes

·         8. Describe your crush. Don’t really have a real “crush” per se, just people I’d be dtf

·         9. Describe your perfect mate. Ew don’t use the word mate

·         10. Do you believe in love at first sight? Uuuuh I guess? It had to have happened once, the world is weird.

·         11. Do you ever want to get married? Maybe idk

·         12. Do you forgive betrayal? Yeah, probably too easily

·         13. Do you get jealous easily? I don’t think of it as jealousy, I think I just need a lot of attention. I think I might be needy, but idk for sure

·         14. Do you have a crush on anyone? See 8

·         15. Do you have any piercings? No

·         16. Do you have any tattoos? No

·         17. Do you like kissing in public? Sometimes yeah

·         20. Do you shower every day? I’ve been trying to do every other day lately but its hard I love showers

·         21. Do you think someone has feelings for you? Idk dude maybe

·         22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Yeah probably

·         23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I’ve done it so yes

·         24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? Fuck probably not

·         25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year? Right now not really I’m looking for something more casual, like friends w benefits-y

·         26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? Yep

·         27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you? Poem yeah not song

·         28. Have you ever been cheated on? No but like…kinda? Complicated

·         29. Have you ever cheated on someone? No

·         30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body? Unless you consider removing the mole on my eyebrow plastic surgery, no

·         31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl? I cry over everything so yes

·         32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love? Yeah

·         33. Have you ever had sex with a man? Yep

·         34. Have you ever had sex with a woman? Yep

·         35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? Yep

·         36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends? Yep (I’m a fucking sucker for this)

·         37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? Nope

·         38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? The fuck does this mean?

·         39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? See 32

·         40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? Yeah a poem. I also remixed some songs for someone once

·         41. Have you had sex so far this year? Yes

·         42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? I mean there’s a point where they SHOULD wander right? Otherwise you’re just not taking the hint

·         43. How long was your longest relationship? Like 3 years-ish

·         44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 3 total? Maybe 4

·         45. How many people did you kiss in 2012/2013? Huh this really aged this post huh. Lets do 19/20. I think like 3?

·         46. How many times did you have sex last year? Listen I don’t think we have to get into the specifics. Zero, its zero

·         47. How old are you? 24

·         48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Hell yeah go for it dude.

·         49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Don’t have one

·         50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? Accept the apology? Yes. Accept their love? No, its over.

·         51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yep

·         52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why? Yeah, because they weren’t into me like that

·         53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? Nope

·         54. Is there someone you will never forget? I’m gonna get Alzheimer’s so I’ll probably forget everyone

·         55. Share a relationship story. The first time I ever had sex we were caught by their grandparents. Good times.

·         56. State 8 facts about your body Pretty eyes, purple hair, strong legs, no abs, big-ish dick, bigger booty, hairy everything, unusually long tongue

·         57. Things you want to say to an ex Sorry

·         58. What are five ways to win your heart? Open up to me, be empathetic, love animals, love cuddles, have a HUGE booty

·         59. What do you look like? *Ghasp* well I never! (See below)

·         60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? Pulls neck of shirt, 5.5 years

·         61. What is the first thing you notice in someone? Hair

·         62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you? Tie me up and tease me/edge me for a long time

·         63. What is your definition of “having sex”? penetration

·         64. What is your definition of cheating? When you’re in a relationship with one person and you have sexual relations or try to date another without telling the first (or the second)

·         65. What is your favourite foreplay routine? See 62. But also oral, if that counts as foreplay.

·         66. What is your favourite roleplay? Only sexual roleplay I’ve ever done is masseur and customer, so I guess that one

·         67. What is your idea of the perfect date? Either pizza, cuddling, and movies, OR elope and move to another continent.

·         68. What is your sexual orientation? Bi

·         69. What turns you off? I guess like terrible people or things? Like if you say something reprehensible, I’m not gonna be into you

·         70. What turns you on? Almost everything I’m on a fuckin hair trigger

·         71. What was your kinkiest wet dream? Never had a REAL wet dream (never came while sleeping) but the kinkiest sex dream was probably just when I had one about a friend at the time.

·         72. What words do you like to hear during sex? My name. Just general feedback is good too. I like to know what I’m doing right and what I can do better.

·         73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Ask me to eat them out or suck their dick

·         74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for? With men in general, I tend to have higher standards for physical attraction (provided I don’t know them. If I know them, all bets are off). But like big and/or tight, well defined muscles

·         75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you? One time a partner asked me how my day was while I was at work and I said a bit rough so they dressed in cute lingerie for when I came home, and said if I’d said I had a lot of energy they were gonna dress like a dominatrix and I still think about it

·         76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone? One time I drove from Boston to New York to pick someone up at the airport because they were nervous. Or maybe the time I laid down rose petals on the floor of a minivan so we could romantically fuck in the back

·         77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? Be careful. Its hard to avoid a bad power dynamic, so big age gaps will only work if you’re conscious of the gap. But being conscious of the gap makes the relationship more difficult.

·         78. What’s your dirtiest secret? I don’t really have one, I’m kinda an open book about stuff. I guess the fact that I was into step sister porn for awhile was gross, but that was just cause it’s the only porn with plot most of the time. Also it grosses me out now.

·         79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? In my last relationship, but again see number 13

·         80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Today lmao

·         81. Who are five people you find attractive? Conveniently, I know 4 people on here in real life so @circumlocutive, @slutty--flamingos (sorry it wont tag for some reason), @jimbobzinga, @fernfolly, and I need a fifth so … I guess one of my exes? I find most people in my life attractive tbh

·         82. Who is the last person you hugged? @circumlocutive

·         83. Who was your first kiss with? My first girlfriend, technically when we were like 5.

·         84. Why did your last relationship fail? Long story, basically I don’t think I’m compatible with polyamory in a relationship setting. If its just fooling around I don’t care, but I have a hard time dating someone who also wants to date other people. I don’t care if my partner wants to fuck other people, that’s fine, but dating others brings up the problems from number 13.

·         85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet? I mean I have a tinder so yeah

[possiblypeachy]

tea & schemes (8.)

―; summary: Florence grapples with far too many feelings and, as always, Lissie comes to the rescue.

―; pairing: jacob frye x ofc

―; word count: 4.8k

―; warnings: light swearing.

―; A/N: flor is too lovely for all of this and i just want her to be happy guys im :(( but also, can we start a felicity marlowe fanclub?? please leave applications below to become an official member bc everyone should love her she’s like a rockin’ older sister. 

also, if i was okay with writing like 6k word chapters they would’ve kissed in this one so keep an eye out in the next chapter people

―; part: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

― ❊ ―

The walk back to Florence’s home was filled with light, cheerful conversation but brushes against the shoulder and moments of her simply studying Jacob’s face seemed far more frequent. Or were they like this usually? Florence was unsure; she’d begun to overwhelm herself inside her own mind, though she kept Jacob none the wiser. The last thing that she could afford right now was him, of all people, digging through her conscious.

“-- and I was trying to enjoy a pint but along comes Evie with this huge bloke’s head in her hands and she just slams him into my table. I tell you, beer in the eyes is painful but not as painful as the splinters that man had to pull out of his face.” Jacob grimaced, gazing into as though he was envisioning the wound’s that very moment. Then hazel eyes met hers, amusement mirrored in both of their eyes. “So, the moral of that story is to never go drinking with my sister.”

“Such a shame, that.” Florence’s brows drew together in faux disappointment. “To think, I was going to invite your sister down to the pub this weekend.”

“Without me?”

She shot him a little wink, a finger coming up to tap her nose. “Girl talk, Jacob; you wouldn’t understand.”

He huffed out a laugh, taking a familiar turn into her street. “I’m not sure Evie would either.”

Florence’s gaze fixed to the profile of his face for a moment too long, just watching the curl of his lips and the jovial light flickering in his eyes. Why did she find it so impossible that he actually wanted to spend time with her? Remnants of Thomas prickled at her heart, despite Jacob’s work to remove them. The thought that she might allow herself to fall fully for this man-- this assassin-- only for him to break her again terrified her more than Florence would like to admit. Yet, his presence had been lingering on her mind for longer than she’d previously realised.

His eyes dragged from the bunting strung above her street to her and the worried little crease between her eyebrows. Florence appeared to be in another world entirely. “Flor? Are you alright?”

She blinked once, then again, before refocusing on the world around her. A gentle smile tugged her lips upwards and she nodded. “Yes, of course. I was just thinking…”

… that I’d very much like to kiss you.

… of how you always seem to make me feel at ease.

… about you.

“... that we should perhaps part ways here, lest Freddy interrogate the both of us. You know how he is.”

Jacob chortled, nodding, his brows raised. “Indeed I do.” There came a little sigh, hardly noticeable, though gave the impression that he was almost sad that their time together had come to a close. The smile she gave him said the same.

Something heavy hung above their heads.

“Well, thank you for today, Jacob. There’s nothing like watching someone you know beat a crowd of grown men up.” Florence breathed out a laugh, shaking her head slightly.

There was a softness to Jacob’s face; the curve of his lips was gentle, the glint in his eyes screamed of something more than a simple care, and his gaze studied each of her features-- from that little mole on her bottom lip to the hump in her nose to the strands of mousy hair that had taken to resting on her forehead. The arm that had been hooked around hers moved forward but he paused before putting his hand on her hip. Instead, below her sight, Jacob’s hand balled into a loose fist-- a sign of a change of heart. “Florence,” her full name, “look, I really--”

Her hand came to his shoulder to stop him, heart roaring her ears. “I should really be getting inside, Jacob.” Ah, Christ Almighty, he looked like a kicked puppy. It was near indescribable how much her heart wanted her to push forward embrace him, tell him of all the tangled worries occupying her mind, but that very mind insisted that Florence had to make sense of it herself first. So, as to appease her heart enough to allow her a few hours of restful sleep tonight, she rolled up onto the tips of her toes, placed a hand to one of his cheeks, and gave a featherlight kiss to the other. She muttered a soft “Visit me again soon.” before turning and hurrying into the safety of her own home.

Jacob watched after her with wide eyes and parted lips. It was rare that Jacob Frye was speechless but, for a few moments, his brain was completely incapable of comprehending words. Was he blushing? His own hand came to his cheek and he frowned slightly. Maybe.

Bloody Hell.

London does have its surprises.

---

“A letter came for you while you were out, Florrie” was the first thing she heard as she walked in the door. Freddy, from the lounge chair, glanced over the newspaper he had been reading and to his sister, furrowing his brows at the red tinge to her ears and neck and the otherwise lost look in her eyes. “You look flustered.”

Florence hung her shawl beside the door and tucked a few strands that had come loose from her bun behind her ear. “Oh, it’s…” Eyes flickered over to the letter on the tea table before flitting to Frederick, giving him a reassuring smile, “... it’s nothing. I think Lissie made my corset a smidge too tight this morning and, well,” Her lips pursed and her brows rocketed toward her hairline, “I’ve already told you how overwhelming Willard can be.”

Freddy hummed, uncomfortable with the thought of a man being so shameless with his sister. The newspaper flopped at one corner when he gestured to the letter now in her hands. “What’s that about, then? Is it mother and father?”

She tapped the back of the envelope with her thumb for a second or two, having vaguely recognised the handwriting as most certainly not her mother’s, before tearing it open. It was an invitation to meet again the day after the next from--

“Willard. He’s asked to meet with me again.” She muttered, scanning over the contents of the letter.

Freddy frowned. “Couldn’t he have asked you that at the library?”

Ah, shit.

“He had to leave on ‘important business’ earlier than I expected so he must’ve just forgotten.” Florence had a talent for lying through her teeth, though whenever it was to her brother she did feel the need to pray to the Lord above at the same time.

Freddy was quiet for a few moments then sighed. Florence held her breath. “No doubt his ‘important business’ was--” The pitch of his voice heightened somewhat and it drew a smile up from his sister, “-- ‘collect my latest pomade shipment, make a fancy speech to parliament, plot the demise of Frederick Abberline.’”

She snorted, folding the letter back up and balancing it between her middle and ring fingers. “I’m sure he’s arranging the hitmen as we speak, dear brother.”

Freddy shrugged and raised his eyebrows in response, a motion that said “probably” before letting his eyes drift back to the newspaper. Florence paused for a few moments in her place, toying with the letter. She needed to speak with Lissie.

“When you see her next, can you tell Lissie to come up to my room? I’d like to get out of this corset and into a nice bath.”

“Of course.” Frederick gave her a little farewell smile as his sister made her way towards the staircase.

Lissie was something of an agony aunt and, goodness, did she need someone’s ear to chew off. In fact, merely thinking of it made her hands shake and breathing heavy. Even the gentle meowing of Duncan behind her bedroom door did very little to calm her nerves.

A gentle knock came to the door and Florence didn’t even have a chance to answer before the figure of Lissie bumbled through the door. She had two cups of tea in her hand and a concerned glint in her eyes; she already knew that Florence was worrying. Felicity was a good woman and Florence appreciated her very much.

Without a word, Lissie passed a cup to Florence and she began to blow over the surface of it, steadying it when the older woman took a seat on the bed beside her. There was a slurping noise-- how did she drink it while it was still so hot?-- then Lissie settled the tea into her lap, turning slightly so she could take Florence in fully. “What’s the matter, dear--”

“I like him.” She blurted out, honey eyes flickering from her tea to her maid. There was a look of desperation there-- as if she was hoping that Felicity could simple somehow magic away that clenching of her heart.

Lissie furrowed her brows. “You like who?”

“Jaco-- Mister Frye. We’ve been spending more time together recently and I-- and we--” Florence held her breath, keeping eye contact with Lissie for a few moments, before finally sighing. “He almost kissed me.” There was a pause. “I almost kissed him.” Another. She threw one hand up into the air and the cup of tea in her other hand wobbled dangerously. “I don’t know-- I don’t know! I just--”

“Lovely!” A hand came to Florence’s shoulder. “Lovely. Calm down.” Lissie’s smile was so kind that Florence actually felt her shoulders relax. Blue eyes met hers and, to reassure Lissie, she gave her a little nod. “It’s fine. He’s not a bad bloke, is he?”

“No, of course not. Jacob is… well, he’s really charming. He’s not a huge gentleman but he doesn’t have to be. I just--” Florence glanced to the corner of the room, where Duncan was watching them both, then back to Lissie. “I just think I really like him.”

That smile curled at Felicity’s lips and Florence stifled a laugh of disbelief. Before she could say anything though, Lissie was already speaking, “Oh, to be young and in love.”

“You’re lucky I need you, Felicity Marlowe.”

Lissie grinned, crow’s feet appearing at the corners of her eyes. “I know, I know. But,” The same hand that had been on her shoulder moved to her lap, giving Florence’s thigh a reassuring squeeze beneath her skirts, “you seem quite smitten with this Jacob fellow and, from the sounds of it, he likes you enough too. Is he why you��re always out?”

Florence took a sip of tea, avoiding the answer to the question for as long as she could, and flinched when it burnt her tongue. She swallowed once, with brows pulled downwards, then answered a simple: “Yes”.

“Do you enjoy yourself with him?”

A pause. “Yes.” Honey eyes met blue ones, remnants of the day swimming about in them. “Did you know he took me to a fight club today? I watched him fight; he’s the champion there.”

Lissie’s fingernails tapped along the ceramic cup and her lips pursed for a moment. “So, why is it such a dilemma that you fancy him, then?”

There was the real question. Why did it bother her so much that she liked someone-- liked him? It wasn’t like Jacob had done any wrong by her yet. In fact, he’d gone out of his way to make her happier. And, the way he had looked at her: as though she was everything that existed in the world at that moment. God, it made Florence’s throat tighten and heart swell.

“I should be looking for a wealthy husband. I need someone my father would benefit from.” Lissie looked unconvinced. Florence looked panicked. “Freddy wouldn’t approve either.”

Felicity set her tea down and held her hands out. Florence did the same and placed her own hands in the maid’s grip. A thumb glided over the back of her palm as an effort to comfort. “Firstly, you have never been concerned with such tripe. My Florence would rather die than marry into wealth.”

Florence’s lips curled into one of those smiles that said: “You’re right but I don’t want to admit that I was wrong”.

“Secondly,” One of Lissie’s hands came up to raise Florence’s gaze back to her, “in the politest way possible, fuck your brother.”

Florence frowned. “I’d prefer not to.”

Felicity groaned, rolling her eyes and giving a slight pinch to the back of Florence’s hand. “Hush, you terrible woman.” She huffed out a laugh, allowing Lissie to continue. “Freddy would disapprove if you got with the son of Queen Victoria herself. He might yap on about you needing to marry a ‘good man’ but all he cares for is your happiness, lovely. He’s probably just worried about Jacob’s intentions.”

Florence sighed, teeth gnawing at her top lip. She was right. Lissie was always right.

“What is it that’s really worrying you?”

That clenching in her chest began again but it was sadder this time-- scared. When she looked back up to Felicity, there were the beginnings of tears in her eyes. “I’m frightened he’s going to break my heart or--or--” One fell down the curve of her face and Lissie was already pulling Florence into a hug, burying the younger’s face into her own shoulder, “-- if he might leave me because I’m too b-boring and I--”

A gentle ‘shh’ came to stop her blubbering and stuttering. “Florence, lovely, you’re one of the most interesting, lively women I’ve ever met and anyone would be blind to not see the same.” Florence hiccuped into her shoulder, pulling away slightly to rub her eyes. At the same time, Felicity’s hands cupped her cheeks to ensure that Florence was looking at her. Red circled honeyed eyes, lashes thick and dark with tears. Lissie frowned slightly and moved forward to plant a kiss on her forehead. “If he’s gotten into your heart, it’s because he tried. I reckon Jacob wants you as much as you want him.”

God, he had tried. Jacob was so kind to her-- so willing to help her outside of this little box she’d been put in by her class. He wasn’t afraid to show her new things in fear that it’d ‘ruin her innocence’. He’d tell her horribly lewd jokes because they made her do that silly snort of hers. He, despite his sister’s words of concern, always went out of his way to see her.

Florence’s heart calmed down a little bit.

Maybe this all wouldn’t be so terrible after all.

Through a small sniff and her hands coming up to wipe away the moisture on her cheeks, Florence sighed but it sounded somewhat like a laugh. “That sounds terribly dirty, Lissie.”

Obviously pleased with how Florence had stopped crying and now had the beginnings of a smile playing at her lips, Felicity released her face and grinned, pointing an accusing finger. “I’ve seen the bloke’s shoulders-- nice and broad. Don’t lie to me and tell me you haven’t thought about him above--”

“Felicity Marlowe!” Florence slapped the maid’s arm, stifling a naughty little giggle. There was a wonderful sense of joy in the genuine smile of someone who had just been sobbing. It was their emotion in its rawest form-- walls torn down by the breakdown moments before. Despite her eyes and the red around them, light shone in her pupils eyes again. “Just go and sort me out a bath, please.”

“What? So you can think of all his muscles alone?”

Florence shot her a sharp look but the dimple in her cheek made an appearance, her head shaking. “No.” Then, a playful little smile graced her features and she glanced away briefly. “So I can plan on how I’m going to kiss him.”

Lissie’s grin was proud. “That’s the spirit.”

---

The park she’d been due to meet Willard in was quaint enough, with a little gazebo in the centre that a band played in. It was mid-morning, so the soft chirps of birds accompanied this melody, which calmed Florence’s heart to some degree, she supposed. In the light of the rising sun, it wasn’t difficult to spot Willard’s golden crown of hair. The mottled sun painted gorgeously against tanned skin and, when he heard the small clicks of her footsteps, he turned, green eyes appearing almost icy in the light.

“Dear Florence!” He stood from the bench he’d been sat on and took a few steps towards her. His head bowed and his hand took hers, placing a featherlight kiss upon the back of it. “I hope nothing terrible happened to your brother, hm?”

Florence’s smile was courteous and sweet but the sickness in her stomach remembered Willard and his feelings toward Freddy-- how he planned to use her. “Well, you’ll be pleased to know that he was fine.” Willard raised a brow, asking her to elaborate. She did, hooking her arm through his so they could walk together, “He had ripped my favourite dress accidentally and had begun to panic far too much-- the poor sod. Oh, sorry for the language. I’m--”

For once, Willard seemed to smile genuinely, breathing out a laugh. “It’s charming, Florence; you shouldn’t apologise. I have siblings, so I know it’s not always so easy to refer to them nicely.” He had leant into her somewhat to say this, as though it was a little known secret. Much to her own surprise, a little grin tugged at her lips. “If you’d like, I can put some money in toward reparations? I would hate for you not to feel as gorgeous as you always look.”

Here start the compliments again.

“No, it’s fine; I’m unsure on if I’d even fit into it anymore. I’ve had it for far too long so it’s about time I chose another.” Did Florence have actually have a preferred dress? No. She chose all of her dresses because she knew that she’d look good in them. There was no purpose in her having one particular ‘favourite’.

“Well, perhaps you should make the one you’re wearing now your new favourite. If I might say, blue is a beautiful colour on you. It really brings out the paleness of your skin.”

Great. She supposed blue couldn’t be her favourite colour anymore.

Florence’s previous thought that her conversation was going quite swimmingly with Willard, although brief, flew completely out of the window. In an effort to hide her growing grimace, she turned as if to look at the birds in the trees above them. “Thank you, Willard. I’ll keep that in mind.”

They walked in silence for a while, following a path lined with flowers. The quiet was welcome for a time until the realisation that Willard was never quiet for this long hit Florence across the face. She finally shot a glance toward him to find him looking less-than-happy with the world.

“You seem troubled, Willard. Is there something you wish to speak with me about?”

His eyes met hers after a few moments. Then, he gestured for them to sit on the bench just beside the gazebo. “What is your opinion of me, Florence?”

Genuine confusion washed across her expression. “Nothing bad, Willard. You’ve only been nice to me. Why?”

“It’s just that there have been… unsavoury rumours going about with concerns to my intentions with you.” Willard shifted in his seat so that he might hold her hands. Florence allowed him to, upholding that look of bewilderment. “I simply hope for this to be the start of something grander and I would hate for you or your family to think of me in a bad light.”

What did he know? What had he heard?

“What rumours might those be?” The speed of her speech made her seem panicked but, if he had picked up on it, he didn’t comment.

Willard frowned. “After Sergeant Abberline arrested my brother, some people have this sick idea in their minds that I’m out for revenge. What my brother did--” He swallowed, appearing quite disgusted. A terrible feeling began to stir in Florence’s stomach. “What he did was… horrible and I am ashamed to have the same blood as the wretched man.”

Was he lying? He must be. A barrage of doubt slammed into her. Maybe he was being truthful and the note was a set-up of some kind. But, on the other spin of the coin, perhaps he’d noticed he’d lost the note and wanted to cover up his tracks. There was a flashing memory of the look in his eyes when Jacob introduced himself. None of the puzzle pieces were connecting and Florence was beginning to feel quite light-headed.

She blinked once. Then, twice. Her hand came up to tuck a few curled strands of brown behind her ear in an effort to self-comfort. “I have never thought such a thing and nor has Freddy.”

“I’d still feel horrible to just leave it at that; I feel like I must prove that I’m not the creator of some dastardly plan. So,” Was that a shy smile? From Willard? “I’d like to invite you and your brother to dinner at my manor at the end of this week.”

What had she done to the Lord above for Him to invoke such wrath upon her?

Florence felt like her body had frozen, bar the heavy swallow she took. Dinner wouldn’t be… so bad. Yet, there was this pang in her chest that told her that living this double life-- split between being this Florence for Willard and the real Florence to Jacob-- would be her downfall but she felt that she had very few options in the matter.

“That sounds lovely, Willard. I’ll be sure to tell my brother when I return home. Speaking of which--”

“Oh, don’t say you must leave, dear.”

Florence’s lips tugged into a sad smile, patting Willard’s shoulder to comfort him. “-- I must leave to go home. Our maid is due to do the shopping soon and I must go with her; my cat has a very specific diet.”

Willard huffed out a laugh at this and stood up with her. “Well, I look forward to seeing you again this weekend. Do say ‘hello’ to this diva cat of yours from me, too.”

At that, Florence grinned and said her goodbyes. Beneath her, her feet went a little faster than usual.

---

The door was unlocked when she got back, Freddy obviously having forgotten to lock it on his way out to work. As soon as she stood on the creaky floorboard near the entrance, the door closed behind her, Florence let out a heavy sigh, shoulders relaxing somewhat. She set her little purse down on the little table beside the coat rack but stays there to lean on it for a small while, simply gathering her thoughts.

Her opinion on Willard was much like a metronome; sometimes, he was delightfully charming and today told that he had at least some sense of humour but, other times, he was like the wolf to her rabbit-- ready to consume everything she had ever stood for in a grapple for power. It made her feel weak either way; she didn’t want to kneel for any man.

Her breathing was deep and slow-- an attempt to comfort-- and one of her hands had begun to work on undoing the bun on her crown. Florence had had enough of today and it was barely the afternoon. She would write her parents another letter, read, and wait for Freddy to get home; she didn’t have the emotional energy for much else.

“A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us.”

Florence jumped, all of her muscles tensing in one go to look toward the source of the voice.

There was Jacob, all amused at the sight of Florence so surprised, holding Pride and Prejudice in his hands. “Who knew books could have such profound words? Now I know where your fancy vocabulary comes from.”

Florence, despite her racing heart, laughed softly, shaking her head. With a brow raised, other hand out to ask for the book back, she asked: “How did you get in, Jacob?”

He took a few steps forward, around the lounge chairs, to give her the novel. “That maid of yours-- Lissie, was it?-- let me in just as she was leaving.”

The image of Felicity’s dirty little smile came to the forefront of her mind and Florence bit back a grin. “If Freddy had come home, you’d have been killed.”

“Oh, yes-- because your brother is capable of murdering me.” Jacob narrowed his eyes at her, snark dripping from his voice, and plonked himself down onto the nearest chair, playing with the fabric beneath him. Florence sighed, amused, but said nothing more, going to hang up her shawl. Jacob soon noticed the tension in her movement and the tiredness in her eyes. “What’s got you in a twist, lovely Flor?”

Of course he’d notice. He noticed everything. That feeling arose again when she turned to look at him, concern in those hazel eyes, but she swallowed it. “I met with Willard again today--” The slight frown Jacob adopted was nearly missable, “-- and he’s invited both me and my brother to dinner this weekend.”

He made a mock ‘ooh-la-la’ noise, despite there being a little part of him that hated the whole idea. “Sounds like a date. Perhaps he’s courting you and you don’t even know it.”

“Oh, I know it; he makes it all too obvious. I just don’t want to be… courted.” Florence paused, rolling her shawl in her hands. “Not by him, at least.”

Jacob’s little grin never left but there was something in his eyes as he asked: “Did you have anyone else in mind?”

Blood rocketed through her veins. She could hear it in her ears-- feel her pulse in her neck. Their gazes locked for a moment too long and his expression softened into one reminiscent of the other evening. Florence broke the moment by dragging her eyes away. “The only thing I have on my mind is alcohol; I need to relax.”

“I could help with that.” Briefly, she looked back to him only to be met with a cheeky wink. Her shawl flew through the air and landed on his face, muffling his chuckling.

“You’re terrible, Jacob.” Try as she might, she was unable to keep the dimple in her cheek away, facing away from him for a few moments so he didn’t get the satisfaction of seeing her laugh. When Florence finally looked back to him, he was still grinning, now wearing her shawl like a pretty scarf. “You can stay and share some wine, if you’d like--”

“No, no. Certainly not.” He stood up, shuffling around the table to get to her. “Come on.”

She frowned, confused. “What?”

“You’re not going to drink wine and mope at home. If you want to drink, we’re going to go to the pub.”

“Jacob--”

One of his hands were already on the doorknob, tugging the door open. The other he held out toward her like an invitation. “I won’t hear it. It’ll cheer you up.”

Florence bit her cheek, arms crossed beneath her chest, unconvinced.

“I want to see you happy again-- like the other night.”

Felicity’s word from earlier echoed about her head. Jacob did only want to make her happy.

Florence’s resolve broke in the form of a tilt of her head and a little smile. “Fine.” She placed her hand in his and he helped her step out of the door. “You have to give me my shawl back.”

Jacob, closing the door behind him, hummed. “You know what?” The hand that wasn’t holding hers stroked the fabric of the shawl. “I don’t think I want to.”

Her jaw dropped in mock offence and he half-shouted when her hand came up to try to pull the damned thing from his shoulders. “Give it back to me, Jacob; that thing cost me a pound!” Florence’s words came out through laughter, drawing attention to the pair of them from people strewn about the street.

“Alright, alright! I’ll give it back--” She went to grab it again and he leant away. That gooey feeling in his centre returned when she pouted, “-- if you promise to hold my hand on the way there.”

Florence sighed. “People will talk.”

“Damn them.”

She frowned-- thoughtful. Then, honey eyes melded with hazel.

Damn them.

“Deal.” Jacob didn’t have a moment to react when she tugged it off of his shoulders and draped it over her own. “Thank you.”

He stared at her for a little too long, the beginnings of a certain smile curling at his lips. “I think it looks better on you, anyway.”

Florence gave a little grin, unable to keep the red twinge away from her ears.

Their fingers stayed interlocked for the short journey there and Florence, it seemed, had underestimated how much more it made her love him--

Like him.

She only liked him.

[angelsfalling16]

Just Relax

Pairing: Snowbaz

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Baz gives Simon an oily massage to help him relax.

Word Count: 4326

A/N: I swear this wasn't supposed to be smut when I began. It was supposed to be just a cute and fluffy fic, and then it turned into this. There's still some fluff, but now there's more. I actually don't mind how it turned out, and I hope you all like it.

Tags: SnowBaz, Post-Canon, Post-Book 1: Carry On, Established Relationship, Massage, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, Teasing, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Explicit Sexual Content

Thank you @wo2ash for your replies to my post about this fic! I probably wouldn’t have posted this without that <3

Read it on ao3

Baz

Simon is tense today. He keeps fidgeting and adjusting, but he can’t seem to get comfortable. He tries to stretch, flexing his wings and reaching his arms above his head, but I can see from his face that nothing is working.

“On the floor,” I tell him, looking back down at my book and pretending that I haven’t been watching him trying to get comfortable for the past ten minutes.

“W-what?” He asks, going still. He apparently didn’t realize how much he was moving or that I’d noticed.

“Lie down on your stomach on the floor.”

“Oh,” he says, understanding now. “We don’t have to—. You don’t have to do this.”

“Just get on the floor, Snow.”

“Snow? Really? We’re back to that now?”

“Maybe you should listen, Snow.” I try to fight a smile but fail.

“Fine,” he growls. “I’m getting on the floor.” He’s attempting to sound put out, but he and I both know that he wants this, probably needs this.

He stretches out on the floor, and I toss him one of the cushions from the couch.

“Put this under your head.”

“Yes, sir,” he mocks.

“Shut up, Snow.”

He just laughs.

“Take off your shirt,” I say, turning the page of my book, pretending that I’m still reading it.

“So demanding.”

“Do you want this or not?” I ask, remaining nonchalant.

He thinks about it for a moment before giving in. He tugs at the hem of his blue t-shirt and struggles with it for a minute before I snap my book shut and slide off the couch to sit behind him. I know that it isn’t the easiest thing to take his shirt off when he’s got wings, and I don’t want to make him have to struggle with it. It will only make him more tense.

We’ve magicked all of his clothes to rework themselves around his wings, but getting them off is still tricky, especially when Simon is having trouble relaxing. I’m happy to help him, though.

I crawl across the floor until I’m kneeling beside his head. Pushing my hair out of my face, I bend down to whisper in his ear.

“Do you want some help with that?”

“Pleeease,” he groans, dropping his arms back down to his sides.

“Of course, love.” I place a soft kiss to his cheek before moving back to help him pull the shirt off.

Once the shirt has fully been removed, I take a moment to admire the freckles and moles that spot his shoulders and back. I’ve seen this sight countless times now, but I’ll never get tired of looking at it. He’s begun to relax slightly, but he is still so tense.

“Are you going to actually do something, or are you doing to just stare at me?” He asks.

“Hmm. It really is so tempting just to look at you.”

He growls, a low sound deep in his throat, and I chuckle.

“Hold on a moment. I’ll be right back,” I tell him as he starts to move to get up. “I’m just going to go get the oil.”

When I return a couple of minutes later to where he’s spread out on the living room floor, I’ve warmed the oil up in a small bowl, and I’ve got several other items with me to make this an easier process.

Simon’s head is still resting on the pillow, but his eyes are closed now. His face looks peaceful, but I can still see the tension in his back.

I set the oil and a couple of towels down on a coffee table before moving around the room, lighting some candles that I grabbed while the oil was heating. I shut off the lights before grabbing the stuff from the table and moving back over to Simon.

There’s a soft, yellow glow now and casts dancing shadow over Simon. There’s still some natural light coming in through the window as the sun sets, but it’s adds to the soothing affect of the candles.

“You better not be asleep,” I say as I kneel down beside Simon’s legs again, setting the bowl a little bit out of the way.

“M’not,” he murmurs, not opening his eyes.

“Good. Sit up a moment so that I can move the pillow under your chest.”

He does as I tell him without any complaint this time. He must be ready for this. I frown at the back of his head, wishing that he had spoken up earlier. I would have helped him if he had just asked.

I sigh inwardly, knowing that it’s still difficult sometimes for him to ask for help. There’s still part of him that believes that he needs to do everything on his own, that there’s no one there to help him. It’s so internalized that it’s not something that I think will completely go away, and I don’t think it’s a conscious decision to not ask for help anymore. He’s come a long way, and I’m happy for him. I’m even happier that I get to be a part of his life.

I pick up one of the towels that I brought with me, and after rolling it up, I place it underneath his forehead so that he can comfortably keep his neck level with his back. I roll up the other towel and place it under ankles. If I let my fingers linger on his skin longer than necessary, no one needs to know that.

“Are you ready?” I ask him as I settle next to his hips. He simply grunts in response. “No, I need to hear you say it.”

“I’m ready.”

“Okay. Let me know if I hurt you.”

“Okay.”

I take a deep breath to steady myself and pull the bowl of coconut oil closer. After one more beat, I swing one of my legs over both of his and sit gently on his upper thighs. I hold still a moment as he gets used to the weight.

We’ve done this many times before over the past several years, and we’ve found that this is the most comfortable position for both of us.

Once I’m sure he’s ready, I dip one hand into the bowl and spread some of the oil over both of my hands. After the sufficiently covered, I place my hands low on his back, just above the waistband of his joggers, which hang low on his hips to allow his tail to hang out comfortably above them. His tail trails off beside him, just in front of me. It twitches every once in a while as we sit here but stays still and out of the way for the most part.

I begin rubbing my hands up and down his back lightly, careful not to put pressure directly on his spine. My movements are slow at first as I rub the oil over his back and shoulders and up over his neck. I move around the base of his wings as I do this, avoiding them for the moment. He’s quiet as I move just a little faster, adding pressure as I stroke up his back and moving lightly back down. I continue this until I’m certain that his back has been adequately covered in the oil.

I stop to apply a little more oil to my hands, and Simon makes a low, whining noise as the loss of the feeling.

“It’s okay,” I murmur soothingly.

I place one hand on the right side of his lower back and overlap it with my other hand, and I start up a circular movement, working out the muscles in that area with the soothing circles. I can feel some of the tension start to leave him as he sighs softly. I keep working at it for a little bit longer before moving on to the left side to do the same thing there so that it’s balanced.

Adjusting my position on his legs, I start to move my hands differently.  I place my thumbs on either side of his spine and start running them up his back, adding light pressure to the muscles there. Simon gasps as I get about midway up his back, and his tail swings up at the same time, narrowly missing my face.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, stilling my movements.

“Yeah,” he shifts underneath me. “It’s just really tense there.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll try to fix it. Just, be careful with your tail please.”

“Right. Sorry.” I can’t see his face, but I can tell that he’s blushing. He gets bashful when his tail moves like that on its own. It only happens when he’s really excited or in pain or surprised.

I feel his tail come to wrap around my thigh in a tight grip, and it feels nicer than I care to admit right now.

I find that spot in his back again and begin working it a little more with small, gentle circles until I feel him relax underneath me again, sighing contentedly.

I start up with the movement of my thumbs again running up and down his spine, moving my entire body with my arms, shifting back and forth so that my arms don’t get tired before I’m done. I’m careful not to rub my body into his because right now would not be the ideal time for me to get aroused.

After a few more up and down strokes, I move on to the places that need my most attention. Scooping up a little more oil, I move my hands to his shoulder blades. I feel Simon still underneath me in anticipation.

“Relax, Simon” I whisper over his bare skin. He smells so good now.

It takes a few deep breaths for him to calm down again, but he does.

I start out by moving my fingers in gentle circles over his shoulders, adding pressure in places that feel more tense than others, moving around the base of his wings. I continue to avoid actually touching his wings, and as his shoulders relax, I can tell that it’s driving him crazy. The feeling of my hands running over his wings is his favorite part, which is exactly why I save it for last.

I continue to massage his shoulders for a little longer than necessary, teasing him. He archs up into my touch, flapping his wings lightly as he does, desperate for my hands on them, and this causes his thighs to rub up against my crotch.

“Fuck,” I gasp, and he does it again. “Snow,” I grit out. “Stop that.”

He hums, and I can practically hear the smirk in his voice as he says, “Feels like someone is enjoying this just as much as I am.”

“This isn’t about me,” I tell him, placing my hands flat on his back, holding him there while I try to get my breathing back under control and will my erection to go down.

Being able to run my hands over Simon’s body as he relaxes underneath me almost always causes this reaction, and it’s difficult to control. I love how trusting he’s become over the past seven years of our relationship. It wasn’t always this easy between us, but it’s gotten so much better.

I really don’t want to make this massage about me, though. I’m doing this purely to help him relieve some of the tension.

“It could be about you,” he says in gravelly voice that doesn’t do anything to help with my problem.

“We’re not done with the massage,” I say, lifting my hips and attempting to adjust myself so that I don’t rub up against his arse with every movement.

“We could be.”

“Not yet,” I tell him, running a finger along the strip of skin where his wings mesh with his back. I feel his body shiver underneath me, and I can tell that he’s torn between continuing with the massage and moving on to a different kind of pleasure.

“Fine,” he says after a quiet moment. “Please continue.”

I wait for him to settle again before I stroke my hands from his spine across his shoulders and to his wings, continuing the movement up and over them. I begin with light, barely-there strokes, continuing the teasing.

“Baz,” he whines, growing impatient.

Smiling at him even though he can’t see me, I remove my hand from his left wing and use both hands to pet over the other one. I drag my hands over the red material of his wings. The texture is still strange under my hand, even after touching them almost daily for years. It looks like it would be dry and rough to the touch, but that’s not it at all.

His wings are firm and steady, stretched out at their full width. They’re glossy and smooth, and I could spend all day carefully running my hands over them, exploring every inch of them. Even after repeated reassurances, I’m still afraid that I might hurt him while doing this. His wings look so fragile, and I don’t want to end up accidentally hurting him.

After I’ve run my fingers over ever part of his right wing that I can reach, I move on to the other one, listening to Simon’s contented sighs and gentle moans. He starts to move after a while, his hips gently rocking up to rub against me.

“Simon,” I say in a warning tone.

“We’re done now,” he says, in a firm tone that leaves no room for questioning.

“But—.”

Before I can finish my protest, he has some how managed to push himself up and roll over underneath me. Then, he’s flipping us, and he’s the one straddling my legs instead of the other way around.

“Simon,” I try, but it turns into a moan as he rubs against me.

“I’m good. I feel good.” He leans down to whisper into my ear. “I feel really good now, Baz.”

Crowley, my face feels like it is on fire as he talks.

He continues to whisper into my ear, the feeling of his breath against it not helping me at all.

“I really appreciate your help, but now it’s my turn to make you feel good.”

I can no longer control myself. I buck up into him, causing us both to moan at the contact.

“Fuck,” he groans before leaning forward and sealing our mouths together with a kiss.

It’s needy and messy. His hands tangle in my hair, and mine scratch at his back, scrabbling for purchase, no doubt leaving marks as I pull him impossibly closer against me. His skin is smooth from the oil, and I find myself running my hands over it again and again as he deepens the kiss.

We separate long enough for him to pull my shirt over my head, and then his lips are back on mine, pulling at my lip and drawing out a low moan. I press up into him, tangling our legs around each other, our bare chests pressed together.

I pull out of the kiss and trail open-mouthed kisses across his cheek until I reach his ear, pulling at it with my teeth. I used to be afraid to do this, to use my teeth when we were being intimate together. I was so afraid that I would lose control and my fangs would pop out.

I didn’t want that. I didn’t want to accidentally turn him, or worse, suck him dry. It took him repeatedly telling me that he trusted me not to hurt him before I would even try. Trust wasn’t the thing that I was worried about because trust wouldn’t be able to stop me.

I’ll only bite him like this if I’ve fed recently because I still don’t fully trust myself. I’ve gotten much better at controlling my fangs, though. With Simon’s love and trust, I quit trying to deny that I was a vampire, which I used to do even with myself. I used to think that maybe if I ignored it long enough, it would just go away. I almost starved myself a couple of times that way. That was before I became friends – more than friends – with Simon. I spent summers missing him and hating that I missed and hating being at home where I had to hide different parts of myself, and I thought that not feeding would fix it.

It didn’t. And I haven’t tried that in a long time. I’ve learned to accept myself.

The first time that I bit Simon during sex, I realized that I wasn’t the only one who wanted me to do that. The reaction in him was quick and noticeable. His movements became more frantic, and the second time that I bit him, not long after that, he came hard with a loud moan.

Now, he has a little more control than that as I release his ear and move down to bite and suck at his neck, marking him. I feel his fingers tangle into my hair as he tilts his head to give me better access. I suck another mark into the skin between his shoulder and neck before he pulls away, breathing heavily.

He holds himself up with his hands on either side of my head. His eyes are dark with arousal, the blue just a thin circle around the black. He rests like that for a moment before I miss the contact and push myself up to kiss him again, cupping the side of his face with a gentle hand.

He smiles against my mouth. He knows me well enough to know that I just couldn’t hold myself back. I kiss him harder, and he lets me for a long moment before he pulls away.

“Wait,” he gasps.

I stop moving, waiting for him to catch his breath long enough to tell me what he wants.

He doesn’t say anything, though. He starts kissing me again, but not on my lips. The first kiss is pressed to my collar bone. Then, he’s moving down, leaving a trail of kisses down my chest until he reaches one of my nipples. He bites it, eliciting a gasp from me, before soothing it with that deliciously sinful tongue of his, rubbing at my other nipple with one of his hands.

After he’s done licking over that nipple, he switches to the other one. It feels so good, but I want something more.

“Simon,” I gasp, tugging at his hair.

Getting the hint, he places a kiss to that dip in the middle of my chest before continuing the long, tortuous journey of kissing down my body, lapping out with his tongue seemingly randomly as he goes. As he passes my bellybutton, he licks circles around it before trailing down even lower, dragging his teeth over the lower part of my stomach until he reaches the top of my jeans.

He stops there to stare down at my legs. I blush under his heated gaze. He bought this pair for me. They’re dark, and they cling to my legs, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination, which is why I only wear them around our house.

He runs his hands up and down my thighs, avoiding my obvious erection. He’s doing it on purpose, too, which is obvious by the way that he drags a finger down right next to the length of it.

“Are you going to actually do something?” I sneer at him. “Or are you just going to stare at it?”

“Hmm, staring at it is fun,” he says with a small laugh.

It takes me a moment to realize that we’re repeating each other’s words from earlier, and he seems to be getting a kick out of it.

“I hate you,” I murmur, not meaning it in the least.

“If that were true,” he says, unbuttoning my jeans, “you wouldn’t have married me.”

He’s right, of course. It came as a surprise to me when he proposed during our last year of uni. We had never seriously talked about it, but it was definitely something that I wanted. I just wasn’t sure that he wanted it, too, until that moment. We married the following summer, and it was the happiest moment of my life.

Simon yanks my trousers down in one swift, practiced movement, taking my pants down with them and tossing them carelessly to the side. I gasp as the cold air washes over my newly exposed skin. He starts up the tortuous process of running his hands over my legs again, and I bite down on my lip to keep myself from begging for him to touch me where I want it most.

He smiles wickedly at me before placing a kiss to the sensitive skin on my inner thigh. I groan and squeeze my hands into fists to keep myself from pulling at him and making him go where I want him to. He trails a line of kisses up and over until he’s right beside the base of my cock, and I’m a second away from begging for it now.

Then, he finally takes the head of my cock into his mouth, and I have no hope of holding in the moan that escapes.

“Crowley, Snow,” I breathe.

“You called me Simon before,” he says, which unfortunately means that he has to release my cock to speak.

“Shut up, Simon,” I say, laughing at the age-old argument, which is a strange thing to do – both the laughing and the arguing – when his mouth is hovering over my cock, breathing cool streams of air over it.

He does shut up, though. Wrapping his mouth around the head of my cock, he runs his tongue across the slit, lapping up any precome there before slowly taking me into his mouth has far as he can, doing delectable things with his tongue as he goes, causing me to buck up into his mouth unintentionally.

His hands come up to hold my hips down, but he keeps his mouth on me.

“Sorry,” I gasp out.

He simply hums around me before taking me all the way down in one swift movement. I feel my cock hit the back of his throat, and I moan as I’m consumed with pleasure. He pulls back off before taking me down again, the wet heat of his mouth pulling me closer and closer to climax. Then, one of his hands starts to move, the other still holding me down, moving down below my cock and fondling my balls.

It all becomes too much, both his hand and mouth working on me. He lightly adds pressure to the hand cupped around my balls, and I come, moaning his name.

“Simon.”

He continues to suck me through my orgasm, swallowing ever last drop before releasing me. He sits up, catching his breath, as I relax into floor, coming down from the blissful high. After a moment, he leans back over me to place a kiss to my lips. I hum happily, and his lips part. I slip my tongue inside, tasting myself in his mouth. He leans down farther, pressing his body flush with mine, and I can feel his erection rub against my leg through his clothes.

“These need to come off,” I breath, tugging on his joggers. “I want to touch you.”

He obliges, quickly pulling them off and chucking them off to the side, not caring where they land. I just hope that he’s being mindful of the candles. The last thing we need is for our house to catch fire while we’re wrapped around each other, completely naked.

“Oil?” I ask, looking around me for the bowl.

It’s less than a foot away, and miraculously, it hasn’t gotten dumped. It has begun to cool, but it’s still warm enough, and oily enough, to use. I rub it on fingers for a moment before I reach for him. I run a teasing finger around the base of his cock as he buries his face in my neck. He bites a mark into the spot just below my jaw as I finally wrap my hand around his cock and give it a gentle tug.

He gasps against my neck, and I pull again. As he breathes heavily against my neck, I alternate between slow, gentle pulls and firm, hurried ones.

“I’m close,” he moans, and I’m not surprised that it’s happening this quickly.

It doesn’t usually take him long after I’ve gotten him to completely relax with a massage. I love him like this, completely relaxed and carefree. It means that he trusts me enough to just be himself, not worried about what’s going on in the rest of the world.

“Come for me,” I whisper into his ear, placing a soft kiss against his cheek, and speeding up my movements, pulling his orgasm from him. I bite into his shoulder, sending him over the edge, and he comes between us with a low moan, covering us both in white streams of his come.

I pull him through his release, and he collapses on top of me, a warm pressure against my naked body. I run the fingers of my clean hand through his hair as he rests it on my chest, coming down from his high.

“Better now?” I murmur as he relaxes into me.

“Much. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” I say with a light chuckle, closing my eyes and holding on to him tighter.

“Relaxing bath now?” He asks after a quiet minute.

“Anything for you, my love.” I press a kiss to his forehead before standing and pulling him up after me.

He stumbles toward me, cradling my face in his hands and leaning forward to whisper, “I love you, Baz.”

“You’re such a sap,” I murmur against his lips before kissing him again. Pulling back with a smile on my face, I tell him, “I love you, too, Simon.”

[friendcave2-blog]

Fat Freezing Birmingham

vagina tightening machine.

Content

Do I need a Gp referral For Facelift surgical Procedure?

Femiwand

Which locations Can Be treated With Hifu?

What Is Mole, blemish and Also Skin Tag Removal?

Why Are Cars Facelifted?

exactly How Does A Hifu Facial job?

What Can I anticipate throughout My Cryopen treatment?

Because of its distinctively designed transducer system customers typically really feel marginal pain during the treatment. Any type of awkward sensations usually subside quickly adhering to the procedure. Visual appeal Lab is dedicated to guaranteeing your health and wellbeing. During your initial Ultraformer III examination, we examine your medical history with each other to make sure that this treatment is best for you. Nevertheless, outcomes may occupy to 3 months to reveal and they will continue to boost for as much as 7 months post therapy. People might experience skin inflammation for a few days after the session. Some mild swelling, prickling or tenderness might occur temporarily.

Much less typical results consist of slight bruising and also skin level of sensitivity. The dimension of the therapy area and the plan picked influences the period of the HIFU treatment session, which can vary in between 30 and also 90 mins. We will be able to offer you a quote throughout your examination. In the past I've attempted all type of systems to help with my stretch marks as well as decrease as well as tighten my infant tummy after the birth of my youngsters. The only therapy that I have actually seen results with is the Lipofirm Pro!

This entails relocating the handpiece over the location and also supplying pulses of power to accomplish the wanted result. Your therapy may be a little uneasy yet should not be painful and also any type of pain needs to promptly subside instantly after treatment. At your examination, we will certainly take a full case history and also examine your suitability for the treatment. We will then coordinate a customized treatment strategy with you, based upon your problems as well as what you want to achieve from the therapy. Really hardly ever one may experience small inflammation for a couple of hours after the treatment in addition to swelling or prickling in the therapy area for approximately a few weeks. There may likewise be bruising as well as tingling on dealt with areas but this need to solve 2-4 weeks adhering to the treatment. Ultraformer III has actually been referred to as the comfortable alternative to surgery and also Ultherapy.

Do I need a General Practitioner referral For Facelift surgical Procedure?

You may have an MRI check and several examples of prostate cells taken. This will certainly give the physicians a clear image of where the cancer cells remains in the prostate. HIFU can be given to the whole prostate when there may be cancer in more than one area, to make sure that all locations of cancer are treated. reportedly used might additionally have other tests, such as a CT check, MRI scan or bone check, to see if the cancer cells has infected various other components of your body. A constant increase in your PSA degree can be an indicator that the cancer has actually returned. If your cancer does return, your medical professional or registered nurse will chat with you about more treatment options.

Femiwand

The majority of individuals tolerate the treatment well while the energy is being supplied. Discomfort and also discomfort connected with the treatment are momentary and are only experienced during the treatment. A three dimensional option to an invasive facelift, without any cosmetic surgery and no down time. All skin consultations will be done by phone to examine your suitability.

After my training course and also a bit of Physio I am entirely back on kind. The treatment really aided me obtain my confidence back, and the will to begin training again. Tone, tighten up and solid skin on your confront with this introducing therapy.

Results from trials and also early instances in the first 5 years are very encouraging with lifestyle outcomes far better than the majority of other standard treatment alternatives. The HIFU procedure commonly lasts in between 1-4 hrs, depending upon the size of the prostate, and is either done under basic anaesthesia or an epidural as well as IV sedation.

Which areas Can Be treated With Hifu?

How can you tell if someone had a facelift?

Bald spots in the temple, pulled ear lobes, visible scars that are placed in front rather than inside the ear, wide, cross-hatched appearing scars, and stretched lips are a few other telltale signs of an 'old' facelift.

What Is Mole, growth and Also Skin Tag Removal?

Our reference campaign offer stands whatsoever facilities for any kind of package. Share this page to your close friend and then go into the promo code, "FRIEND30" when reserving your Free consultation. The HIFU treatment is ideal for those individuals that wish to uplift their face, tighten up the skin and total fight indications of aging. Whilst the treatment does not injured, you might experience small pain throughout the procedure, just like a light prickly sensation. Did you understand that you can book your assessment in either of our cosmetic facilities in Nottingham or London? https://jamesmakeup4.tumblr.com/post/633990441038135296/how-to-obtain-a-stronger-vaginal-area-bucks dedicated to supplying a top quality, personal as well as practical service for each and every and also every one of our people, making it as easy as feasible for you to get to our very competent experts. Book in at our Nottingham or London clinic today, we can not wait to see you quickly.

These guys will certainly have routine examinations to keep an eye on the cancer that is not dealt with. Some males that have focal HIFU have just one location of cancer cells in their prostate. Focal HIFU deals with a smaller sized area of the prostate as well as takes one to 2 hrs. It may appropriate for men that have cancer cells that needs treating in just one location of their prostate. You may have a catheter placed in at the start of the treatment to drain pipes urine out of your bladder. A catheter is a thin tube that is passed into your bladder, either through the penis or through the wall of your abdominal area. You will have a basic anaesthetic to ensure that you're asleep during the therapy.

How do you wash your hair after a facelift?

After the dressings are removed, shower and wash your hair. Use warm not hot water (much as you would wash an infant.) Use only baby shampoo. Let the water run through your hair to remove all dried blood and surgical soap.

On the morning of your HIFU treatment, you'll be provided an enema to empty your bowels. You'll also be asked not to consume or consume alcohol for around 6 hrs prior to your HIFU. If you're having focal HIFU, you will normally most likely to a testing appointment initially

You can see the outcomes right away, and the enhancements remain to be seen for as much as nine months as your collagen is renewed.

HIFU is safe, efficient and a great remedy for lifting and tightening the dewlaps, minimizing great lines around your eyes, nose and also mouth, tightening your skin around your jaw and neck line and decreasing hooded, droopy eyelids.

High intensity concentrated ultrasound is often utilized as a treatment for early prostate canceror prostate cancerthat has returned after radiotherapy.

As opposed to surgical procedure, the Ultraformer harnesses ultrasound technology to emit power to the SMAS layer to tighten, lift and plump the skin.

HIFU is newer than some of the other treatments for prostate cancer cells, so we don't referred to as much concerning the risk of side effects or just how well it works in the long term.

Focal therapy utilizing high-intensity concentrated ultrasound for localised prostate cancer.

It is provided as component of a professional test, so it is just offered in some healthcare facilities in the UK.

As a result of this, it's just available in specialist centres in the UK or as part of a scientific trial.

These tests will certainly help your specialist target the area of the prostate that needs to be dealt with. As HIFU is relatively new expertise regarding the long-term advantages as well as effects is enhancing on a daily basis.

I have constantly been fairly athletic, however just recently because of injury I have been not able to educate and also as a result my breast and also Abs have gone a little bumpy. After checking out the facility the therapist informed me that as a result of absence of motion, my blood circulation has slowed down as well as I have created cellulite.

How much does a ponytail facelift cost?

Cost: $8,000–$11,000. The Hair Trick: A DIY ponytail placed just right will yield impressive results too, even if only for an evening.

Transurethral resection of the prostate is an operation to get rid of prostate tissue as well as improve the circulation of urine. This procedure is in some cases utilized before HIFU to lower the risk of some urinary issues after the treatment. Ask your doctor or registered nurse which type of HIFU might be appropriate for you. HIFU could be ideal for you if your cancer is contained inside your prostate. The Material on Our Website does not make up guidance on which you must depend. Expert or specialist advice needs to constantly be looked for before taking any type of activity associating with medical visual treatments.We clear up initiatives to make sure that the Material on Our Website is total, accurate, and also up-to-date.

Why Are Cars Facelifted?

HIFU treatment takes minutes, throughout therapy it prevails to experience some pain as well as a tingling feeling relying on the strength of the ultrasound. This introducing therapy makes use of the most recent cosmetic innovations to aid tone, tighten up as well as strong skin on the face, which helps to lower the appearance of fine lines and creases as well as leave the skin looking invigorated as well as younger. We can estimate the rate for therapy after a first totally free consultationwith you. If the client chooses a body contouring therapy, fat cells are removed by means of lipolysis.

exactly How Does A Hifu Facial job?

Optimum cosmetic outcomes are possible with only one treatment session, the study photos below give an instance of the arise from HIFU treatment. targets fat by making use of high-intensity ultrasound energy causing thermal coagulation to fat cells. The power created penetrates listed below the skin surface and triggers cellular rubbing within cells. As visual medication has progressed, ultrasound has proven to be an outstanding tool for numerous clinical treatments. Total Body Care uses advanced Skin Firm therapy for the face as well as body using High Intensity Concentrated Ultrasound. A typical side effect of ageing is loose, drooping skin, brought on by the exhaustion of collagen as well as elastin in the dermis. Ecological elements such as sunlight damages and cigarette smoking can further reduce levels.

If you have focal HIFU, you may have low-risk cancer cells in one more area of the prostate that is not dealt with deliberately. You will certainly have normal tests to check the cancer that is not treated. These might include PSA tests, MRI scans, as well as prostate biopsies. You might have a few of the adhering to signs and symptoms directly after treatment, or they may create some time later. Talk with your physician or nurse if you have issues with erections or other sexual issues. They can describe your treatment choices and also prepare cost-free therapy on the NHS. Some men have problems getting or maintaining an erection after HIFU.

What is the best face tightening procedure?

Laser resurfacing This is the most effective procedure for tightening loose skin. Unlike the laser treatment described above, this procedure requires some downtime. You'll need to stay home for 5 to 7 days. Laser resurfacing also gives you the fastest results.

If you aren't able to have a basic anaesthetic for health reasons, you may be able to have a spine anaesthetic to ensure that you can't feel anything in your reduced body. With this, you will also be offered some medication to make you drowsy.

This is since it can harm the blood vessels and also nerves that control erections. For some men this will enhance, but for others this will be a longer-term side effect of HIFU. The list below negative effects can develop soon after your therapy. If you have hormonal agent treatment or a TURP prior to you have HIFU, these can also cause adverse effects. Various other men have one more area of cancer in their prostate that is not dealt with purposefully. This cancer is not treated due to the fact that it is much less likely to spread out (low-risk cancer cells) as well as it might not create any kind of issues.

[evilwriter37]

A Lot of Questions

There were supposedly 92 questions, but the numbering was all screwed up and there are actually 85.

Tagged by @jackiejack6​! Thank you! I’ve done this before but that was months ago and answers change. I liked reading your answers!

LAST:

1- Drink: hot chocolate. Thank goodness, ‘cause it’s 30 degrees F right now.  2- Last Phone Call: My friend Kat 3- Text Message: Lisa, my sis. 4- Song listened to: Can’t quite remember. I know it was one of the songs that @the-fanaddict​ pulled from Race to the Edge. Thank you so much for doing that! I literally took hours to download all of them to my phone and put them all in chronological order. 5- Time you cried: Today I think. Not for very long. Just out of stress and frustration. Oh yeah, and my buddy depression.

HAVE YOU:

6- Dated someone twice: Nope. Can hardly date anyone once. 7- Kissed someone and regretted it- Never 8- Been Cheated on: No   9- Lost someone special: Yes 10- Been Depressed: Lol, always. 11- Gotten Drunk and thrown up: Nope. Never drinking in my life.

LIST THREE COLORS

12- Royal Blue 13- Gold 14- Blood Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15: Made New Friends- Most definitely  16: Fallen out of love: Nope 17- Laughed until you cried: Yep. My friends are absolutely wild and I love them. 18- Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t know and I really don’t care if they are. 19- Found out who your friends are: Not really. 20- Kissed someone on Facebook: Nope.

GENERAL

21- How many of you facebook friends do you know in real life:  Almost all of them. I don’t friend people unless I know them. 22: Do you have any pets: 3 kitties! Inky, Alley, and Loki.

23: Do you want to change your name: No. 24: What did you do on ur last bday: Got cut open on an operating table. 25- What time do you wake up: On Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays I wake up at 7:30 am. Tuesdays and Thursdays between 10:30 am and noon. Weekends, between noon and 3 pm. 26: What were you doing at midnight last night: Just listening to music.  27- Name something you cant wait for: Winter break, finishing Infernal Fascination, How to Train Your Dragon 3, The Last Jedi, any Marvel movie ever, Trollhunters season 2.  28: When was the last time you saw you mom: A week ago. 29: What is one thing you could change: I don’t want to have chronic illnesses. Can’t my body just function properly??? 30: What are you listening to right now: Nothing. 31- Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: Yep. My mom’s boyfriend. 32: Something that is getting on your nerves: Ableists. I keep running into them and they very rudely tell me to calm down whenever I politely ask them to not make certain jokes. 33: Most Visited Sites: Tumblr, Google Drive, NaNoWriMo 34: Moles: one on the left side of my neck and one on my right thigh 35: Marks: I have stretch marks?? 36: Childhood dream: to be an author 37: Hair color: dark brown with natural auburn highlights 38: Long or short hair: short 39: Do you have a crush on someone: Maybe? I don’t know anymore. What is love? *song starts playing in my head* Don’t ask which one, because it probably started in yours too. 40: What do you like about yourself: My hair, my creativity, my friendliness 41: Peircings: Nope 42: Blood type: Can’t remember 43: Nicknames: Hell, Devil Chicken 44: Relationship Status: Single 45: Zodiac Sign: Aries 46: Pronouns: She/Her, trying to get used to they/them because I’m gender fluid, but it still makes me feel uncomfortable 47: Favorite T.V Shows: Race to the Edge, Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Sherlock, Agents of Shield 48: Left or Right Handed: Right 49: Surgery: Two endoscopies, a surgery on my sinuses, wisdom tooth removal, laparoscopy  50: Hair dyed in a different color: Dyed it red a few times. 51: Sport: NO. 52: Vacation: Farthest I’ve been out of the country is Montreal. I want to go again. It was awesome. 53: Pair of trainers: Idk.

MORE GENERAL:

54: Eating: Had nachos a few hours ago. Probably gonna get salad as a second dinner. 55: Drinking: Finished my hot chocolate while answering this so now I’m drinking water. 56: I’m about to: Go to a meeting with the college literary magazine! It’s called Pendragon and I love it so much! 57: Want: to sleep, write, watch tv, listen to music, and read a book, all at the same time. Instead I’m on this hell site. Good for me. 58: get Married: It’ll happen when it happens. I’m more likely to get married to a woman, so I might end up proposing someday. That’s a really cool thought. 59: Career: Half-dead college student. 60: hugs or kisses: Hugs 61: Lips or Eyes: Eyes 62: Short or tall: Kind of short. 5′4″ *whispers* and 1/2 63: Older or younger: Older than my sister by 7 minutes, so there’s that, but 19 is young. 64: Nice arms or stomach: Neither. I’m flabby. 65: sensitive or loud: I have problems controlling the volume of my voice and sensing when I’m too loud, so I’m loud. 66- Hook up or relationship: Relationship because I’m demisexual. However, that doesn’t mean I won’t hook up with a friend. I need to have a strong emotional connection with the person, and that can either be platonic or romantic, not just romantic. 67: Troublemaker or hesitant: Definitely hesitant. Anxiety is great.

HAVE U EVER

68- Kissed a stranger: Yes. I was playing spin the bottle at a party. It was fun. She was cute. 69- Drank hard liquor: No 70: Lost Glasses/Contact Lenses: If I put my glasses down and can’t remember where they are, there’s a problem, because I can’t see clearly unless something is a half a foot in front of my face. 71: Turned someone down: Nope. No one ever asks me out. People just don’t like me in that way.

PERSONAL

72: Sex on the first date: Nooo. The demisexual says no. (And somedays I’m even asexual. It’s fluid. Depends on how I’m feeling.) 73: Broken someone’s heart: Nope. 74- Had your heart broken: Yep. I was dating a girl and her homophobic family found out and split us up. 75- Have been Arrested: no 76: Cried when someone died: Yes 77: Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO U BELIEVE-

78: Yourself: Usually, yeah. 79: Miracles: Yup. 80: Love at first sight: Maybe? It’s hard to say. 81: Santa Claus: I mean, I wish he was real, but no. 82- Kiss on the first date: Yes.

MORE:

83- Current Best Friend: His name is Caleb and I love him and everyone needs to meet him because he’s the best person ever. 84- Eye Color: Dark brown, practically black. If you can see my pupils in a picture I commend you. 85- Fav Movie: How to Train Your Dragon, The Avengers, Star Wars, The Lord of the Rings

I tag @ultimatefandomtrash61, @turianjournalist, @skrillqueen, @skrillygotnochilly, @kworking, @the-fanaddict. Don’t feel obligated to do it! It’s just if you want to!

[sincerlyyme-blog]

Walnut (Evan Hansen x Reader)

TW: SMUT, really smutty, like use of the word boobs and condom

Words: 2,176

Requested: Nope lol

Disclaimer: this is my very first smut... ever. if i am absoloutley garbage - please tell me. seriously. i will stop lol. anyways, this is a super fumbly/nervous smut thing bc lets be real... evan would not be the most confident in this region. 

Yours and Evan’s relationship seemed to fall into a format that could be related to English literature: repeated and rhythmically patterned. The moment you two start doing something, you couldn’t stop. After your first kiss, Evan would not stop pecking you on the lips. After your first time holding hands, Evan couldn’t bare not capturing your fingers and intertwining them with his. Just last month, you and Evan had your first make out session.

It was strange at first. It took a while to getting used to. It would start off with a kiss, standing up. Then Evan would have to break away to control his breathing from excitement. It took a while to find a sitting position where you were both comfortable to lock lips. A few fumbles and bumped heads later, it was decided that the best spot was if you straddled Evan’s lap whilst he sat on his bed - leaning against the wall.

The make out session would include straddling and hair pulling at the bare minimum. It was so new to both you and Evan that you had to make a code word. Every time one of you got a little too excited, you would murmur the word walnut. That would give you or Evan time to calm down before continuing in kissing. At the beginning of the month, it was quite rare that the word would need to be used. 2-3 weeks into the make out month, Evan had used it 6 times and you twice. Now, at the end of the month, Evan needed a break every 10 minutes.

           Today was like every other day of the month. Evan greeted you after last period with a kiss. You two would walk to his house, holding hands. Stepping through the door, he led you upstairs. The two of you giggled like children. Evan’s mom was rarely home. Which could give you the range of make out spot possibilities, but Evan didn’t like change. Evan liked security and being able to know what goes on around him. Because of that, each afternoon snog would be in his room, with the door shut.

           You reached up onto your tip toes and grabbed Evan’s face in your hands. Smiling widely, you connected your lips together. Evan immediately placed his hands on your hips, pulling you into his lanky frame. Smiling against his warmth, you slowly led him to the edge of his bed so he could scurry against the wall; for you to get into your regular seating position. The moment you swung your legs around his hips and sat on him, his eyes grew wide.

           “Walnut,” he whispered, as if the world could hear him.

           “Already?” you question curiously.

           He nodded quickly, swallowing hard. You nodded with a small smile, obviously respecting his wishes to take a quick breather. After a few moments passed, he gave you the nod to keep going. You pressed your lips back to his, moving your mouth in sync. Your hands brushed up his blue polo and into his sandy locks. He let out the smallest of whimpers. It left butterflies in your stomach. Evan’s hands ran up and down your sides. Pulling away from his lips, you looked into his sunken eyes.

           “We are going to try something a little different, okay?” you searched his eye for approval. He gulped and nodded slowly.

           You continued to kiss him, then slowly trailed them down his neck. About two inches away from his ear, he seemed to become weak. You applied the smallest amount of pressure, and you felt his body stiffen.

           “Walnut,” he stammered.

           You kept going. Taking his hands in yours, you slowly guided them north – up to your breasts. 

          “Walnut,” his eyes flew open and watched intensely as to where you set his hands. You held his hands there, making them apply pressure to the new destination. 

          “Walnut, ohmygod, walnut,” he pracitcally hollered. 

            You pulled away quickly, looking at your loving boyfriend. His hair was sticking up, his lips were swollen, eyes were wide, and a small tent forming in his khakis. 

             “I-It was a really close call this time,” he breathed out, blushing like a mad man. 

              “Evan, we should really talk about this,” you looked at him with wide eyes.

               “Ohmygod, you think I’m so weird, don’t you? I-I can try my best, next time? I will try and last as long as I can without saying it-”

               “No, no, Evan. It’s not that,” you chuckled. You could hear him sigh with relief. “I’ve been thinking about this whole thing. You have been saying the code word so often, that it’s just- I don’t know-”

           “W-What is it?” he scrambled to hold your hand, running his thumb over your knuckles.

           “You’ll find it silly,” you laughed sheepishly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

           “Me? F-Find it silly? No way…José,” he gave you an awkward, toothy grin.

           “Okay, okay, I was just thinking – God, I don’t know, - that it’s silly how we go so far and you get so worked up and then we never… I don’t know… finish?”

           “Y-You mean, you want to-“

           “Only if you want to-“

           “W-Well maybe we could-“

           “Oh my gosh, Evan, i-it’s okay-“

           “No,” he took both of your hands in his, looking up into your eyes. “I want to. I-I really want to.”

           Evan’s mom was coming home in an hour. So you and Evan decided that tomorrow evening would be the best.

 -

 It was the next morning; you had just gone to the guidance counselor to ask for a condom. You asked Evan to pick up a package of them at the corner store, but he was afraid that somehow – they would end up telling the whole town.

The entire day was filled with excitement. Yours and Evan’s face stayed a shade of firetruck red all afternoon. During lunch, Evan rested his hand on your thigh, which only made your blushing worse. Of course, Jared picked up on it and made an obnoxious comment. Something the along the lines of being “fucking gay”, and calling Evan a “weird sex freak”.

The final bell had rang and you practically ran into Evan. You giggled at each other, knowing that he had rushed to meet you too.

-

 Evan closed his bedroom door and suddenly got nervous. You frowned when you saw him fumbling with the material of his shirt.

“What’s wrong, Evan?” you asked softly. You sat him down on his bed, sitting next to him. Running your hand up his arm, you tried your best to comfort him. He shrugged in response. “We don’t have to do this,” you reminded him. “I’m more than happy to wait. This is a consensual thing. I love you, you know that, right?” you cracked a smile, and saw him crack one too.

            “I-I want to do this. I-I’m just scared. What if I mess up? What if I…” he began to trail off. He looked up at you and whispered, “what if I cum too early?”

           Your face turned red to match his. “It’s okay if all of that happens. This is a learning experience for the both of us. We can go slow,” you kissed him gently on the cheek. You waited for him to respond. Obviously, you would never pressure him to do something like this.

           Evan turned to you, “can we still use walnut?”

           Giggling, you nodded, “Of course.”

            Evan scooted to rest his back on the wall, pulling you up onto his lap. “I-I’m ready,” he whispered against your lips.

           You two started out as per usual. Evan didn’t use the code word once. You were kissing his neck, until he pulled away, gesturing to his shirt.

           “Should I take this off?” he asked very calmly.

           You nodded, helping him remove his polo. You were breathless at the sight. His pale form was structured like a sculpture. Every muscle, vein, and freckle was beautifully scattered on his flesh. Birth marks, moles, and little chest hairs dusted his torso. You ran your fingertips along the stretch marks that had been placed there from his middle school growth spurts.

           “You, Evan Hansen, are beautiful,” you reminded him. Evan turned an even deeper shade of red.

           Taking his hands, you guided him to the hem of your sweater. You allowed him to pull it off of you, revealing your bare skin and plain push-up bra.

           “Wow…” he breathed out, absoloutley mesmerized. You began to feel the familiar tent beneath your lap.

           “You can-um, you can touch me,” you reminded him nervously, with a small giggle.

           He reached up shakily, cupping your bra in his hands. He felt you cautiously, as if he could easily break you. He was speechless. It was the first real pair of boobs he had ever seen.

           You giggled at his expression, reaching behind you unclasping your bra. As Evan kneaded your skin, he gasped as the material fell off of your breasts. His tent grew tighter and his eyes became wider. You guided his hands to your nipples, letting him touch the sensitive nubs. You threw your head back with a whimper. Evan was shaking. 

“W-Walnut, ohmygod, shit, walnut,” he whispered between his teeth. 

You nodded, watching as his eyes shut tight and his hands froze in place. You could tell that he was trying to calm his breathing. You were surprised at his sudden colourful language. A few moments passed, and your boyfriend slowly opened his eyes. 

“Did you-”

“N-No, I’m still- um- full,” he mumbled back quickly. 

You giggled at his word choice and placed his hands on your hips. You pressed your lips to his, trying to give him a feeling of familiarity. Evan soon became comfortable, taking the slightest bit of control. His fingers traced down to the hemline of your jeans. He popped open the button. Climbing off of him, you laid down beneath him, watching him hover over your body. He slid your jeans down your legs, placing the material to the side. His eyes gazed over your body, drinking the sight before him. 

“Walnut,” he whispered. 

You sighed, leaning your head back on the pillow as his eyes shut tight again. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just that- You’re laying there- fuck- you just look so good. And holy hell I don’t know if I can-” 

Giggling, you stopped his rambling. “Ev, it’s okay. I will wait as long as you want me to.” 

After the second walnut calling, everything went smoothly. You were finally fully bare, and Evan was left in his boxers. 

“A-Are you okay for me to take these off?” you asked him, placing your hand on the band of his underwear. He nodded quickly, watching your every move. 

Carefully, you pulled the white cotton off of his pelvis. His length sprung out of his boxers, hitting his stomach. You looked at his newly exposed flesh, then back at his face. “You’re doing great, Ev. You really are,” you whispered to him. Slowly, you reached out your hand and stroked him once. 

“S-Stop, or I’ll-” he whimpered out. 

“Okay, okay,” you nodded, reaching over to grab the condom before he stopped you. You raised an eyebrow to give him a questioning look. 

“I-I want you to cum, too. And I... I won’t last that long,” he mumbled sheepishly. You smiled at his concern, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He was doing so well, and you really admired that he thought of you and your pleasure. 

“Is there any way to get you, um, closer before I... ya know...” he asked quietly. 

Nodding slowly, you guided his hand to your heat. You let him rub you in a repeatitive motion. Soon, Evan got the hang of things, letting you put your hand on his shoulder - rather than guiding him. His thumb found your most sensitive nub. 

“What does this do?” he asked in a whisper, lightly tapping it. 

You inhaled sharply. “That felt really good,” you admitted with an even bigger blush. 

 His continuous tapping brought you closer and closer to a high. You stopped him when you were almost at your breaking point.

“O-Okay, I’m ready,” you whispered up at him.

 Evan opened up the condom, rolling it on to himself. He looked at you once more for permission. You gave him a nod, smiling. Before he entered you, he whispered against your lips.

“I love you.”

 He slid into you, neither of you lasting more than 15 seconds. Evan hit his orgasm first, absolutely melting in your hands. His whole body shook. Then it was your turn, grappling your finger nails into the flesh on his spine.

-

Hedi came home around 10pm that night. You and Evan were cuddled on the couch, bones aching and hearts swelling. She opened the door with bags full of groceries.

“Aw, my two little lovebirds,” she mumbled. Putting down the grocery bags, she pulled out a plastic container. “Do you guys want some candied walnuts?”

Evan turned red.

[stilinskiimagines]

Slowly//Stiles Stilinski

Characters: Stiles Stilinski, Reader.

*REQUESTED*

You stare at the ceiling, counting the hours of sleep you could get if you went to sleep right now. You glance at your clock, it was 3:28 a.m. You sigh, jumping as you phone rings.

“Stiles? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep. I’m assuming you can’t either since you answered on the first ring.”

“You’d be assuming right.”

“Can I come over? I want to see you.” He sounds anxious.

“Yeah. Come through the window though.”

“Leave it open for me. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Will do.” You hang up and open your window.

He’s there in less than ten minutes. “Hey.” He looks exhausted.

“God, Sti…don’t take this the wrong way, but…”

“I look terrible, I know.” He chuckles as he sits on your bed beside you.

“How are you doing?” You ask sincerely, placing your hand on top of his.

“Honestly? I’m absolutely wrecked. Y/N, I just…I can’t sleep anymore. I’m anxious all night long.”

“Here.” You move over on your bed, pulling the covers back. He kicks his shoes off and gets under. You run a hand through his hair as he sighs.

“Stay here for the night, I’ll talk with you until morning if I have to.” You smile.

You ended up watching a movie and cuddling, he was asleep within five minutes of having you in his arms.

You woke up in the morning with his arms still around you. You turn over and look at the sleeping boy before you. You study his features, the way his moles speckle his skin.

You eventually fall back asleep, awoken by Stiles removing his arm from your waist. “Hey.” He smiles.

“Did you sleep well?” You sit up.

“Yeah. Probably too well.” He chuckles as he climbs out of the bed. “I should probably head home before my dad realizes I wasn’t home all night.”

“Okay.” You nod. “Call me when you’re home.”

“Of course.” He slides his shoes back on and pulls his hoodie over his head. He slips back out the window.

He came back that night and slept again, your arrangement becoming routine. Your mom never asked you about it, she always trusted Stiles. It had gotten to the point where the two of you couldn’t sleep without each other.

You FaceTimed Stiles, the phone’s shrill ring all too familiar.

“Y/L/N!” He grins. He’s lying on his back shirtless, his phone positioned so you can see the start of his chest hair.

“Stilinski!” You giggle. “What are you up to?” You roll onto your stomach.

“Trying to convince myself that I’m not in any immediate danger. Y'know, I’m your local anxiety professional.” He shrugs.

“Is your anxiety bad today?” You ask.

“Not particularly. It’s just a nagging feeling at the back of my mind.”

“Do you want to come over?” You raise an eyebrow. “Your bestest friend in the world may or may not have rented the entire Saw series.”

He smiles and sits up, “I’m on my way.”

“The window’s unlocked.” You grin before hanging up.

He climbs in just as you put the first movie in. “Did you get popcorn?”

You turn around and smile, he was wearing the best friend shirt you’d gotten on spring break. “Stilinski!” You shout, pointing at your matching shirt.

He laughs and jumps onto your bed.

“Yes, I got popcorn. I even got the movie theater kind that you like.”

“You’re a saint.” He smiles.

“I’ll go pop it now.” You start out the door.

“Wait!” He jumps up and you turn to look at him. “I’ll come with you.”

You both ran to the kitchen, Stiles betting he could beat you.

You slam your palm on the counter when you beat him. “I win.”

“Oh yeah?” He steps closer.

“Yeah.” You breathe out as his chest meets yours.

He stares at you for a second before pressing his lips to yours.

He picks you up and sits you on the counter, your legs instinctively going around his waist. You slide your arms around his neck as he pulls away.

He presses his forehead to yours. “Was that weird?”

“I mean…I was into it.” You smile.

He chuckles, “I’ve wanted to do that for…quite a while now.”

“I’ve wanted you to do that for quite a while now.” You shrug.

“So..what does this whole situation mean for us then?”

“I don’t know…maybe you should take me out Saturday and we can find out.”

Stiles laughs, “It’s a date.”

[kimsblingbrigade]

That nasty “C” word

Nope!  Not THAT one!  I’m talking about Cancer!  Yes!  I am a cancer survivor!  Yes!  It was the hardest thing I had to do in 2008!  Find a lump, get a biopsy, get the “news” that it’s cancer, having a lumpectomy (and having your brother die the same day from a heart attack!!!) then it was the 16 rounds of chemotherapy every 3 weeks and a trip back to the cancer center the day after to get a neulasta shot the next day!  Wasn’t that enough?  No... ok, losing my hair (EVERYWHERE on my body!) and then the radiation! Oh and did I mention that the chemotherapy put me in medical menopause at 42?  Well, it did!  That sucked and didn’t suck!  (No more “Aunt Flo” is always a good thing, right?)  But no harmones for me... not exactly sure why, even now!  Stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma... that’s what it was!  VERY AGGRESSIVE type!  That’s why I had som many rounds of chemo!

What?  That wasn’t test enough?  Ok, let’s go... fast forward 6 years... a LOT of check ups happened, but not just on my breasts, NO!  Now we’re watching my uterus too!  Because women that have breast cancer are at more risk for uterine, cervical, endometrial and vaginal cancers!  INTERNAL ultrasounds for me!  Woo hoo!  I hit the lottery!  NOT!!!  Then I had some bleeding - minor.  Go in for a check up to make sure Aunt Flo isn’t coming back!  Yes!  that was a possibility!  UGH!  Uterine lining was a little thicker than my GYN liked and she found a polyp hanging on to the lining.  Uterine cancer, I asked... No, but it could be endometrial cancer, we have to get the pathology first.  Let’s not go there just yet, she says!  

Get an abcess on the right side of my neck... go to doctor and he says to go to the emergency room to get it lanced today or try to schedule an appointment with a doctor that does those... ER here I come!  Today is better!  Nurse put blood pressure cuff on my right arm even though they’re not supposed to use that arm for anything but she was putting my IV in my left arm... my cell phone rings.  I answer with my right arm... GYN (calling from her cell phone) on the line!  Yep!  You guessed it!  Endometrial cancer it is.  Stage 2!  She’s recommending a total hysterectomy and oopherectomy (ovary removal)!  I now have to go to a new doctor an oncology GYN!  A MAN!  WTF!  She would go to him if it were here... but it’s not her!  It’s me!  Went to the Oncology GYN... like the nurse practitioner!  She’s awesome!  Anyway, he recommends the same thing.  So get that scheduled in a month.

By the time I go in for the surgery, a tumor had grown in my uterus!  Yep!  Uterine cancer!  WTH!  This one is stage 2 grade 3... whatever that means!  So, here comes the chemotherapy again!  But only 6 rounds every 2 weeks!  Oh and radiation to follow!  Lose hair AGAIN!  UGH!  There were only 4 radiation treatments... but they were done INTERNALLY!  That sucked tremendously!  Because I couldn’t have harmones after the breast cancer!  And that causes vaginal dryness like you CAN NOT believe!  Is this story finished?  Not by a long shot!  

I go to the primary care doctor with my husband because he’s not feeling well.  I’m in shorts because it’s hot outside!  Anyway, as he’s treating my husband he looks over to me and says “what’s that?” pointing to a mole on my right thigh.  I said it’s my teddy bear.  It really looked like a little teddy graham!  He tells me to get it checked out!  Yep!  You guessed it!  It was in the very beginning stage of skin cancer!  I didn’t even know there was even a stage 0!  THREE types at one time that are not related to each other!  I’m just an overachiever!  The skin cancer was removed for the biopsy but the dermotology surgeon wanted to take more margins!  

You would think that would be enough for one person, right?  Well, my gestational diabetes from my son in 2006 stayed with me as type 2 diabetes! I started having panic/anxiety attacks in the elevator on my way to the very first chemo treatment and still have them when I go to a new doctor/facility!  And I suffer from TERRIBLE MIGRAINES too!  But I started going to the chiropractor to see if it would relieve the pain.  But it wasn’t working for that.  So just recently, I started going for accupuncture!  Strangely enough, that seems to be working for my migraines!  It’s day 12 without one!  YEAH!

Well... that’s my story so far!  Skipping a lot of the smaller details (and anything I may have forgotten, which could be caused by the chemo or the menopause plus age and oh heck, I forgot what else!  Just needed to get that off my chest!  Get it?  Chest?  Breast Cancer!  Ha!  (Humor is the coping mechanism that I apply a lot!) 

If you’re still here... thanks for reading!  Have a great day!

[illegallyblonde2]

RULES: ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

I was tagged by  @principal-mc , @whatchoices , @elenasanchez , @xo-endlessmayhem-xo ,and @marsydrowninginfandoms (Um,thank you?! You all tagging me made me happy XD )

The Last:

1.Drink: Soda 2.Phone Call: My Grandpa 3.Text Message: My Grandma 4.Song you listened to: Um,some song on the raido 5.Time you cried: sometime today

Have You:

6.Dated someone twice? Nope 7.Kissed someone and regret it? Nope 8.Been Cheated on? Nope 9.Lost someone special: Yes 10.Been depressed:  Yes 11.Gotten drunk and thrown up: Nope

List 3 favorite colors:

12.Pink 13.Blue 14.Yellow

In the last year have you:

15. Made new friends: Yes! 16. Fallen out of love: No. 17. Laughed until you cried: Maybe?? 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No 19. Met someone who changed you: No 20. Found out who your friends are: No 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: No

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I don`t really use facebook. 23. Do you have any pets: Yes 24. Do you want to change your name: Kinda 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Techinally I worked,but for my birthday I went out with my friends. 26. What time did you wake up: I don`t remember. 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Sleeping 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Most Wanted book 2 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: A few minutes ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:  31. What are you listening right now: The TV. 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: All the diamond options in recent PlayChoices Chapters/Books 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr and AO3 35. Mole/s: One on the back of my neck 36. Mark/s: A few scars, and some birthmarks. 37. Childhood dream: To be an artist.But I`m bad at drawling. 38. Hair color: Blonde 39. Long or short hair:  Long 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Nope 41. What do you like about yourself: My Eyes 42. Piercings: None 43. Blood type: I don`t know 44. Nickname: Prefer not to say 45. Relationship status: Single 46. Zodiac:Leo 47. Pronouns: She/her 48. Favorite TV Show/s: Star vs. the Forces of Evil,Game of thrones, etc. 49. Tattoos: None right now 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: Wrist Surgery a year or 2 ago and two teeth removed. 52. Hair dyed in different color: Not right now 53. Sport: Dance 54:N\A 55.Vacation:Going on Vacation soon 56.Pair of Trainers: 2

More General

57. Eating:  Nothing rn 58. Drinking: Nothing rn 59. I`m about to: Go to bed 60. N\A 61. Waiting for:  Most Wanted book 2.. 62. Want:  Motivation to finsh my fics 63. Get married: Maybe 64. Career: Dunno. 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs. 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes. 67. Shorter or taller : Eh.. 68. Older or younger: Doesn`t matter 69.N\A 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Both 71. Sensitive or loud: Depends honestly  72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant to be a troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Nope 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I`ve lost 2 pairs of glasses 77. Turned someone down: Yes,I was rather harsh when doing it. 78. Sex on the first date: No way 79. Broken someone’s heart: I don`t think so 80. Had your heart broken: In a way, yes 81. Been arrested: Nope. 82. Cried when someone died: Yes. 83. Fallen for a friend: Nope.

Do you believe in 

84. Yourself: Kinda? 85. Miracles: Ehhh Kinda 86. Love at first sight: Not really 87. Santa Claus:Not anymore 88. Kiss on the first date: Yes 89. Angels: Yes

Other:

90. Current best friend’s name:In my personal life I have 2.They know who they are ;) Online would be those in the pb fandom and everyone from the choices group chat. 91. Eyecolor: Blue Green 92. Favorite movie: Back To The Future 1&2

Again, Thank you to everyone who tagged me!You guys are so awesome!n

Edit:  Forgot to tag people! So I tag anyone who has yet to be tagged and wants to do this!Consider yourself now tagged. :)

[keunakool]

Get to Know Me Tag!

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people.  tagged by @the-mockingbird-flies !! thank you, thank you! i miss you so much :cc i hope kcon is going to be awesome for you!! 

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Sweet tea 2. Phone call: I think it was my Pappaw? 3. Text message: to my friend spence!! 4. Song you listened to: into the Void - Vixx 5. Time you cried: Today because I got overwhelmed by my summer work and like some other stupid things hnng

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: Nah. 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nah. 8. Been cheated on: No. 9. Lost someone special: uuuuh,,, not really. one of my favorite friends on here ended up deactivating tho and i don’t know where to find her :cc 10. Been depressed: nah. i’ve had like intense mood drops, but it’s never been as serious as depression. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah. i don’t really like drinking or being around it.

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Black, pink, blue!

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Plenty!! 16. Fallen out of love: Never been in ufufu  17. Laughed until you cried: more often than not ;; 18. Found out someone was talking about you: hmmm,, i think so? it doesn’t happen often though. at least i hope not aghh 19. Met someone who changed you: i don’t think so! 20. Found out who your friends are: ooooooh you bet your ass lmfao may reconsider some yikes 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: uhh technically yeah ig

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: um,, hnng i have a rp blog so only like 7-8?  23. Do you have any pets: 3 cats, 1 dog, and a turtle :o 24. Do you want to change your name: not particularly. i kinda like my name even though no one spells it right 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: probably nothing tbh? like i don’t really celebrate my birthday. i go eat dinner, get money as a gift, and then go home. 26. What time did you wake up: uuuuuh sometime around 3 pm 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing arms!! anyone else a min min main? 28. Name something you can’t wait for: getting my summer work done that’s for sure!! hmm also miitopia! i’ve been excited since the demo dropped

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: uuh just a little bit ago. she came in and took some watermelon out of the kitchen

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: literally every time i fuck up and say something to someone that i didn’t mean at all hnng i do it a lot and then have to pretend i never said it in hopes they forget too 31. What are you listening right now: b-day - ikon 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:  my great uncle’s name was tom! 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my summer work and like some other things  34. Most visited Website: youtube and instagram probably. i come on tumblr a lot but im more likely to look through the other two  

LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 35. Mole/s: i have one on my neck and i hate it tbh i rlly want it removed. i also have on my left titty hnng 36. Mark/s: ACNE SCARS GALORE BOIIS. i also have a deep scar on my knee and a long scar on my arm 37. Childhood dream: i wanted to be a photographer and go to london and take pictures with the boy who i thought i was going to marry at the time omfg

38. Haircolor: light brown

39. Long or short hair: short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: hNNG YES aND it;S MEsSING ME UP EVERY DAY BOI HAS BEEN WILDIN’ LATELY IT’S DRIVIN’ ME NUTS

41. What do you like about yourself: i think i’m funny!! and i’m really good at making friends!! 42. Piercings: ears and my nose 43. Bloodtype: B negative i think? 44. Nickname: ash, fish, lyn, uuuh i think that’s it :o @the-mockingbird-flies called me baby for a while 45. Relationship status: single single but ... im workin’ on it 46. Zodiac: scorpio 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Voltron, Death Note, and Weeds! 49. Tattoos: none :cc i’m hoping to get one on my finger eventually 50. Right or left hand: Right 51. Surgery: never had any! 52. Hair dyed in different color: um like all the time. i’ve had black hair, blonde, purple, red... i think blue for awhile? 53. Sport: //VOMITS 55. Vacation: Japan!! but i also want to go back to NYC 56. Pair of trainers: trainers are sneakers right,,, if so, then one

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: uh nothing rn 58. Drinking: nooothing 59. I’m about to: do my ap summer work even though ive been working on it since 4 and it’s midnight now 61. Waiting for: sleep tbh but also blackpink’s comeback 62. Want: uuuuuuuh to go off but if i do i’ll regret it so im,,, sitting in anger as ya girl does 63. Get married: yES PLEASE UGH I LOVE LOVE I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY WANT TO LOOK AT ME EVERY DAY 64. Career: im...hoping to have one of those

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!! I feel less awkward and it just feels better anyways 66. Lips or eyes: hmmm,,, i was going to say lips but i rlly do like different eye colors and shapes. like i love bright blues ok 67. Shorter or taller: TALLER 68. Older or younger: i prefer someone older ngl 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: hmm tummy doesn’t bother me but i do love like a rlly good pair of arms (tho tbh im actually a leg girl) 71. Sensitive or loud: hmmm sensitive?

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant. i don’t have the patience nor the mind to deal with anybody that’s w1ld

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Nope and I don’t plan to 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i don’t believe so! 77. Turned someone down: you mean like all the time? 78. Sex on the first date: nah 79. Broken someone’s heart: uuuh possibly yeah 80. Had your heart broken: lol nah 81. Been arrested: nope! 82. Cried when someone died: i cried when my guinea pig died 83. Fallen for a friend: uuuuuh yeeee 

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: m...maybe?? 85. Miracles: yeah 86. Love at first sight: nah. you have to work on that shit. 87. Santa Claus: u mean papi 88. Kiss in the first date: depends on the atmosphere and comfort level 89. Angels: nah

OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: @the-mockingbird-flies ♥♥♥ || @the-lonely-flute ♥♥♥ || @knkruinedmylife ♥♥♥ || @batl7 ♥♥♥ || @plsinx ♥♥♥ 91. Eyecolor: blue! 92. Favorite movie: Spirited Away

uuuh ill tag the best friends who haven’t done it bc im lazy