#I guess this week it’s four days I’m scheduled and one at my other job

[folksy]

just realized I’m working six days in a row then one day off then five days in a row

[juniepops]

Subjected myself to the weirdest (fortunately not worst. But most of the contenders have been recent) work shift of my life thus far when I really should’ve called out and watched my friend stream

[r0ttenhearts]

inconvenience

alhaitham x reader

sypnosis: after alhaitham fails to show up for your birthday “party” things seem to go worse between you as well as your best friend kaveh

warnings: angst, no comfort, arguments

the clock chiming felt taunting with every minute that passed. every minute that passed with alhaitham nowhere in sight. every minute that got closer to midnight. a gentle sigh left your lips, the thickly frosted cake sat in front of you untouched. you were sure if you had lit the candles they would have been nothing but melted wax by now.

you weren’t sure why you wanted to believe things would be different tonight. with alhaitham’s busy schedule it made moments between you two scarce and few. only speaking for a few minutes in the morning, knowing he’d be gone all day. you didn’t blame him for it, no. how could you? he was busy doing his job as a scribe! piling onto his already busy schedule felt nauseating. but you trusted his promise he made to you only two weeks prior. a promise to come home early on your birthday, to celebrate together.

it felt so long ago now. the clock reading 11:46 and he still wasn’t home. the sound of the door opening perked you up, a wide smile on your face as you got up, ready to greet alhaitham.

“haitham! i- oh.”

the blonde haired architect smiled softly at you, your shoulders slumping. “hey kaveh, why’re you home so late?” you spoke softly as he came inside.

“i just got caught up with things, figured i’d rather finish them here.. where’s alhaitham? i thought you two would be together right about now?”

you shook your head softly, “i guess he got caught up with things as well.”

kaveh studied your face for a moment before smiling sadly, “happy birthday (y/n).” you whispered a quiet thank you as he walked to his room, the door shutting gently behind him.

a silent storm brewed in your mind and you couldn’t help but feel so defeated. your boyfriend of four years couldn’t bother to show up for your birthday? did he really think his work mattered more than you?

you remembered every time you passed up something with your friends or an event you had wanted to go to, just for alhaitham. considering his feelings and knowing he didn’t like those things. only wanting to spend time together even if it meant missing out on things you also deemed as important.

always taking his feelings and thoughts on certain things, but he couldn’t even come home for your birthday? your sigh was much more aggravated than it was before, your patience as thin as paper.

just as you were about to put the cake away the door opened, the clock reading 12:24. no words were said as you closed the fridge door, making your way past alhaitham before he stopped you. a firm hand on your shoulder.

“what, alhaitham? it’s late, i’m going to bed.” you attempted to shrug his hand off but he held his grip. “you’re angry, why are you upset with me?” alhaitham spoke cooly and composed.

you scoffed loudly, angry tears were trying to escape your eyes but you wouldn’t let them. you wouldn’t cry over him.

“oh, i wonder! i really do, alhaitham. maybe because it’s my birthday and you didn’t bother to show up? just a reminder since you seemed to have forgotten, or do you just not care? i don’t think i want to know the answer.” you spat out like poison. a look of annoyance crossed alhaitham’s face.

“are you serious? you’re behaving like a child over your birthday? i was busy with my work, you know this. don’t go pouting now because i forgot one meaningless day.”

he didn’t care. he didn’t care how much this meant to you, even after telling him stories of how you always went out of your way for others. only to be disappointed in return. the one day of the year you wanted to feel like you mattered, and he didn’t care. he was more bothered with you being upset than anything.

“you can’t be serious alhaitham. you promised me!”

“then i suppose that promise didn’t mean much as i don’t recall ever making one.”

any argument you had in your mind now died. he wouldn’t care for any reason to justify your anger, he had made up his mind. and he wasn’t sorry for any of it.

you didn’t say anything as his hand left your shoulder, walking past you to the kitchen for a late night sandwich. you quietly made your way to kaveh’s room, shutting the door as quietly as you could behind you. kaveh spun around in his chair, a look of confusion on his face.

“kaveh.. alhaitham didn’t care! he just didn’t care at all. i waited all night, you know? i waited and waited and blew off invitations to spend my birthday with dehya and the girls and he just.. just didn’t care! he called me a child and i-“

“(Y/N)!”

your emotional rambling stopped at the yell of your name. kaveh held the same expression alhaitham had when he looked at you not too long ago.

“you are being an inconvenience right now, i have so much to do and i can’t deal with this right now. we can talk about it later but i’m busy right now. so please, get out of my room.”

you didn’t say anything as you left his room. alhaitham scoffing as you two saw each other before he made his way to his own room. the door shutting behind him.

you had never felt so unwelcome in a place you had grown to love and call home. but if you weren’t wanted, you knew better than to stay. to fight for a place that wasn’t yours. with that, you quietly slipped away into the night. texts and calls being missed from the both of them as you made a new life outside of them.

taglist: @sakiimeo @astrolomona @dearsumire @saeism @shoheartluv @0kauy @lelemnh @aqualesha @linkookie197 @xiaonscaraswife @foxlover1144 @reblog-crazily @sparklylanddetective @gh0sts0up @darliingyu @maxineslair @kenmabfasf @samarill @whorerificstuff

[soul-controller]

Hey everyone, I hate to disappoint but I just wanted to share that there’s no way that the Halloween event can happen anymore this year.

My manager at my job initially promised me that I would be able to have a set schedule where I could have 4 days off a week so I could properly devote time to getting my writing done. Unfortunately, two people quit and my schedule for the next few weeks just came out and now I’m being forced to help cover their shifts until they hire new people (which will probably take a while since my job has a terrible reputation in town). Although I would have probably been able to find a way to make the event still happen given how excited I was about it, I’m still in the process of doing four relatively large story commissions so there’s no way that I can juggle both those and the Halloween event. Something had to give and obviously the event had to go as the commissions take priority.

To provide some context and be a bit vulnerable, things in my personal life have been a bit rough and hectic the past month or two, so I’m hoping things can eventually settle down soon enough. As previously mentioned my job is being a nuisance, but there’s other stuff going on like money issues on top of being in the process of getting a new doctor because my current one was refusing to take any of my concerns seriously. Beyond just him downplaying my anxiety and depression diagnoses when it comes to providing me effective medication, he also refused to try and help with the debilitating migraines I suffer through practically every other day.

Just to add a cherry on top of the shitty month that this has been, I just recently discovered that queuing on Tumblr has finally failed me. The story that was meant to come out this month never got posted and the concept of having to go through re-formatting everything and getting photos again was just too much of a depressing nuisance for me to deal with. Hell, I've been in such a stink recently that I didn't even do a celebration to celebrate the fact that my account had passed 4,000 followers! I guess doing it nearly three hundred followers later is a bit too late, but I suppose it's never too late to celebrate. I seriously appreciate all of the support I've received regardless of it was a like, a reblog, a follow, or a subscription to my Patreon. All of it means a lot to me... genuinely.

I suppose I just wanted to say that things feel a bit grim for me currently, but I remain hopeful that good days shall eventually come (especially since Halloween is my favorite time of year). To put a more positive spin on the increased hours at work, at least it means that I'll hopefully fix my money issues. Plus, I finally have a meeting with a new doctor this Thursday so I'm hoping I can get some results and find someone who actually cares and wants to help me.

In closing, I sincerely wanted to apologize again in case I disappointed anyone by canceling the Halloween event. Hopefully I can make it up to y’all though by releasing two stories here for October that I really enjoyed writing.

On top of that, I’m thinking I may give the concept of releasing long stories for purchase via Ko-Fi / itch.io a shot by having a trial run with a nearly 10k word Halloween-ish story involving misguided spells, twinkification, and age progression / weight gain between two best friends.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate all of your support and hopefully your understanding during this extremely trying time. 💙

[randum-famdoms]

Small progress update on my mom sold me to the detective prince :)

So, chapter 14 is still far from ready. BUT! I have finally caved and switched to using a different writing program than docs, and in the process I went through the effort of actually organising my warzone of a notes system (which was basically four different notes systems, comprised of comments on the google doc, the bottom ten pages of the google doc, a file in my phone’s notes app, and screenshots from my texts with my beta, and of course none of it was actually organized and half of was no longer accurate to my current plan for the fic).

I also finished a COMPLETE preliminary outline. By which I mean that I have a tentative plan going all the way up to the end of the fic, but it can change at any time if I have a better idea or whatever. Said summary is like, 5k words long. And still doesn’t cover everything (it covers the main beats but not all the fallout of events, like if someone dies then it’s in the summary but the character reactions to said death is not). I gotta say, I’m pretty excited about what I came up with. Now it’s just a matter of getting there…

I haven’t organized all of it into individual chapters, but if I had to guess then I’d estimate the total complete fic will be something around 80 chapters long (mind you, that’s completely subjective to change. In the past one chapter has become three, so. Yeah. Give this estimate a 20 chapter buffer on both ends) and 500k ish words (again a total guess and with a large buffer).

I’m hoping that the writing program switch will make things easier, especially organisation-wise.

If anyone is wondering, I switched to Elipsus, and I am loving it so far. I’ll be making a separate post basically just singing its praises. Highly recommend for any writers out there, 10/10 program.

Anyway, chapter 14 is going to be MASSIVE. Should I probably split it up into multiple chapters? Yeah. Will I? No, because I like how dramatic it is. Think if it like a season finale, 2 hours long compared to the normal 45 minute episodes. It’s going to be the “final” chapter of the Kamoshida arc - sort of. There’s still the fallout to get through, and that’s going to be just as dramatic, at least in my opinion. Don’t worry though, we’ll be at the second palace soon. Provided my outline doesn’t change, chapter 18 will be the start of Yusuke.

In other news, my schedule has gotten busier. By a lot. School things have come up, and I’m trying to make some money by getting a part time job I’ll still write when I can, but I might need to change the post schedule again. That remains to be seen. Regardless of what happens there, I WILL continue making these progress reports, as well as always posting on the same day, even if the gaps between chapters is inconsistent.

I might make the discord server public on here, before the chapter is posted. That’s only if it isn’t done by the end of the week, though.

As always, feel free to scream at me in asks, comments, and dm’s about whatever you want. If you ask a question then there like a 90% chance I’ll answer (the 10% being if it’s private info about me or my beta). Suggestions are always welcome too!

That’s it for now, see ya’ll eventually

[astrabear]

my labor, and my leisure too (pt. 3)

The final installment! Even longer than the second one! At some point I'll clean it all up and chuck it on Ao3. (Where, FYI, it will be tagged as "creator chose not to use archive warnings".)

part 1 here part 2 here

*******

It was one of the toughest weeks she could remember, partly because they all seemed to be working at cross purposes. Some of them were trying to refine the current plan while others were trying to find any reason to abandon it. No one wanted to admit that a decision had been made, while at the same time wanting to spend as much time with Nicky and Joe as they could. Joe and Nicky, in turn, seemed torn between wanting time alone together and wanting to maintain their usual routine. It was, unsurprisingly, impossible to say goodbye while also acting as though everything was normal.

Nile woke up each morning feeling nauseated and numb. It all felt unreal, like there was a glitchy forcefield between her and her surroundings. No one slept or ate enough. They needed to be in top condition; there were too many ways this could go wrong, and she couldn’t bear the thought of… of whatever happened, being for nothing. She tried to set a good example, and she could see that Nicky and Joe were trying too, but there was a limit to how much any of them could choke down their food or hide their exhaustion.

Gert cornered her after a few days of this. “I thought we were going to keep talking,” they said angrily. “I thought it wasn’t settled yet. Everyone is sure acting like it’s been settled.”

Nile was too tired and heartsick to be diplomatic. “Sure, we can talk. What do you have to say that hasn’t already been said? Have you managed to find some ingenious plan that we previously overlooked? Or maybe you’ve got something that will convince the two of them that their lives are worth more than however many thousands of people will be helped by this?” What the hell, Freeman, they’re not even sixty years old yet, what are you doing? Pull yourself together.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “That came out worse than I meant it to. But it’s true – we’ve got to give them a reason.”

“How’s this for a reason? We get to make choices too. It isn’t just up to them. We can choose not to go along. We can scrap the mission ourselves.”

It was a thought Nile’d had herself more than once, so she knew how to respond. “Okay. Do you think their lives are worth more than all those thousands of people?” She wanted to say yes. Yes, they are worth all that and more. Yes, I would gladly trade thousands of strangers whose faces I’ll never see for my two oldest friends. Gert’s eyes blazed, and she knew they wanted to say it too.

Neither of them did. The fire in Gert’s eyes died out, and they looked away.

“I get it,” Nile said as comfortingly as she could, “I really do. I was about your age when Andromache died.”

“But that was years. Decades. Right? You didn’t just…” they waved their hand vaguely. Send her off to die.

“Decades, yeah. Decades of worrying about her, wondering each time if that job would be the last. Practicing more field medicine than I ever expected to learn. Watching over her in hospital rooms. She wasn’t interested in retirement either.”

“So was it…worse like that? Compared to now, I mean. Or better?”

There wasn’t a lot that Nile remembered from back then. Impressions, feelings. A few still images, a handful of memories seared into her brain with holovid clarity. Smiles and laughter and tears and blood.

She sighed. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“No,” said Gert. “I guess it doesn’t.”

...

By the time of their scheduled update meeting at the end of the week, they were all running on empty. All of them but Jerrah had gathered in the briefing room, and Nile couldn’t bring herself to either page him over the comms system or start the meeting without him. The other four shuffled awkwardly, waiting for someone to do or say something. Nile just stared at her hands. She felt heavy, as though someone had cranked up the artificial gravity too high. Even raising her eyes to look around the room was too much.

At last, Lijie cleared her throat and said, “We’ve been going through the notes and things. Gert and I. And we uh… we haven’t found – “

Jerrah stumbled into the room, out of breath. “Hey, sorry I’m late. But I have an idea.”

...

They missed their window, but the asteroid’s path gave them another one a few months later. Nicky and Joe fretted at the delay, but to Nile it looked like they were sleeping and eating better. It was a relief to see that they were not so set on martyrdom that they’d object to slowing down a mission that had already stretched out so long.

Jerrah kept them all too busy to brood anyway. By the time the next window approached, Joe and Nicky had armor that provided more protection, with less weight and stiffness, than Nile had ever programmed into her simulations. She couldn’t get him to admit it, but she was pretty sure that he had invented an entirely new material to do it. It could, possibly, help them survive the explosion.

Especially in combination with the miniature gravity modulators he embedded in their boots. They weren’t very strong, and they’d run out of power quickly. But a few minutes of lower gravity to help them run faster might get them far enough from the blast to make a difference. A few minutes of higher gravity after the blast might keep them on or near the ground until the atmospheric dome reformed and the artificial gravity came back on. The auto-pressurization function already in their helmets might keep them alive during that time too.

Maybe. Possibly.

Nile got Jerrah alone once - after Nicky twisted his ankle training with the boots and spent the rest of the day complaining about how long the muscle knitter took to work - to ask if all this new equipment lowered the risk enough that someone who was still healing could set up the explosives after all.

He looked at her solemnly and asked, “How low would the risk have to be, for you to send one of us in to do it?” She thought about spinning off into space, never slowing, never found. Quỳnh had said she’d felt her lungs fill with water with each revival, so did that mean coming back to life with one breath of air already inside? Would your lungs explode immediately each time, once the helmet system gave out? Or would you have a whole 15 seconds to contemplate your situation before the hypoxia knocked you out? She knew the odds of passing near enough to something large enough to have gravity were so low as to be basically zero, but if you did…? What if you got burned up by a star, or incinerated falling through a planet’s atmosphere? What if you regenerated on a planet that couldn’t support life? What if…?

Jerrah must have seen all that in her face. He nodded his understanding. “Not that low. Not nearly that low. This isn’t a guarantee of anything. Or even much of a probability, if I’m honest. It’s just a…”

“A hope?”

“Or a wish. I’m sorry.”

She squeezed his arm reassuringly. “Don’t be sorry. It’s more than we had before.”

She turned to walk away, but he called her back. “Nile. Don’t tell them.”

“I won’t. I’m pretty sure they already know.”

...

The security system didn’t extend to the edge of the atmospheric dome; it didn’t need to. The sensor buoys would detect anything approaching the asteroid anyway. Except, as the team had worked out, when the alignment of the buoys was just right relative to the other asteroids in the belt, a small enough object (such as their shuttle) transmitting the right kind of energy pulse (they’d retrofitted an emergency beacon months ago) could follow a very narrow and intricate course (painstakingly programmed by Nicky and Lijie) and land in one particular spot, just a few degrees of the dome’s circumference. And it would not be detected.

The shuttle flight was less excruciating than Nile had expected. There wasn’t as much banter as usual, but there was some. What there was not, was the suffocating dread of that first week. They’d had a nice dinner the night before that was very pointedly not a goodbye party or an anticipatory wake, although there had been a lot more hugging and hand-holding and significant looks than their dinners generally included. Everyone looked tired (but not exhausted) and determined. And if, whenever they weren’t too busy, Nicky and Joe held hands so tightly their knuckles turned white… well, Nile would deny disproportionately assigning them tasks that didn’t require both hands.

The only small hiccup came when they landed and everyone scrambled into their gear. Joe and Nicky hung back a little, moving slowly. Oh, she thought, gloves and helmets. Of course. She herded the others out of the shuttle to give them some privacy. From the corner of her eye she saw them lean their foreheads together, and she hurriedly shut the hatch behind her. She didn’t need to see how they spent the last moments in which they could touch each other.

Once they were in formation with the others, they were as focused and ready as they'd ever been. Joe and Nicky, side by side, she thought, with all their friends around them. How they've always been, how they want it to always be. She took point and settled herself firmly in her body, in the present moment. For more than two millennia, if there was a job in front of Nile Freeman, Nile Freeman did that job.

She allowed herself one last moment to think, you never know, if immortality is real then anything is possible. Sometimes the universe is kind. But if there has to be an ending, I guess this one's not so bad.

Then Jerrah’s tablet beeped, signaling that the security system had gone offline. She unholstered her sidearm and started walking, knowing they'd all follow. "All right, people. Let's do some good."

[marvelmadam08]

Baby Blues 21/?

Summary: Chris and Alex search for the perfect nanny.

Warnings: Jealous Chris that is all

A/N: Happy Valentine’s Day!! I thought you all deserved a little treat for the (extra) long wait.

~~~~~~~

17 Weeks Old

Alex and Chris watched the most recent nanny, get up and leave the room. It was their ninth interview of the day. The first four of them were 'golden' nannies, who were more than willing to tell Chris and Alex what they should be doing as parents, four of them were more interested in Chris than the job once they saw him. This one wore a low-cut blouse, and way too much body glitter, it honestly distracted Alex more than Chris, not to mention she only had one prior reference. And when asked why she left the response was 'creative differences'.

"This isn't going well is it?" Alex pulled Ace into her lap, he was extremely vocal today. Humming and yelling but not crying, he smiled every time he realized it was his voice making the noises "Maybe we should adjust the requirements?"

"We still have a few more interviews. We'll find someone, I'm sure of it." Chris assured. He checked the profile for the next nanny "This one seems like a good choice. Plenty of references, fluent in two languages, French and English. Learning ASL, CPR certified, and is willing to travel with the job. Sounds like a good choice."

"There's a catch. There's always a catch. What's her name?"

"Malik."

Alex blinked "Bates?"

"How'd you know that?"

The door opened again, and Malik stepped into the room. His smile widened when he saw Alex and Ace.

"Hey!"

"Malik, what are you doing here?"

"Interviewing for a job, I guess you decided to go the nanny route after all." He came over and sat across from Alex and Chris, the latter of the two wondering how much smaller the world could get.

"Yeah, as much as I didn't want to- I caved." Alex shrugged. She rubbed Chris's shoulder "This is my husband Chris."

"Pleasure to meet you." Malik extended his hand to Chris

Chris felt himself hesitate, before he shook Malik's hand. That little green monster popped up again. Alex was right, there was a catch and it was that Chris didn't want this guy spending more time with his wife and son than he did.

"Likewise." Chris smiled. He settled back against the couch, picking up Malik's profile again. He started to say something when Alex beat him to it.

"Malik, be honest, you didn't know it was us looking did you?"

Malik drew an X over his heart. "I promise, they don't tell us who's hiring, just the requirements needed for the job. Please, just treat this like all the others- no special treatment."

"Fantastic." Chris spoke up, his free hand reaching for Alex's "How long have you been in the childcare profession?"

"Next week makes it twelve years."

"Congratulations." Alex grinned

"Thank you."

Chris continued "It says your last job was almost two years ago. Can you tell us why?"

"I took some time off to help out my sister during her divorce." Malik explained

Chris swallowed his words and bit of his pride. Alex took over.

"Malik, Chris and I travel a lot for work, we usually have itineraries weeks in advance, but our schedules can be a bit unpredictable. Would that be an issue for you if you had to come with us?"

Chris willed Malik to say 'yes it's a problem' and then start going on about how celebrities always think the world revolves around them and their needs. But this wasn't the case.

"Not a problem at all."

The interview went on, with Alex giving various scenarios and hypothetical questions, covering anything and everything that could happen with Ace. Malik answered all her questions perfectly. He had amazing references, he was good with dogs and had a recipe for vegan brownies, just the total package. Chris wanted to find a flaw, no- he wanted Alex to find the flaw so he wouldn't come off as a jealous husband.

"I think that covers everything."

"What about the living arrangements?" Malik asked this time "The agency said you were considering a live-in-"

"We don't need a live-in nanny." Chris firmly states. Both Alex and Malik jump at his voice, like they forgot he was there. "What I mean is- after discussing it over, we decided that a live-in nanny wouldn't work out for us. Is that a deal breaker?"

Malik chuckled "I was about to ask you two the same thing. I get it wanting your space, and I've experienced a few awkward moments when I was a live-in nanny."

"Oh like the iguana in the pantry you told me about?" Alex asked

"Worse than that, actually, but we can talk about that after the interview."

Chris checked his watch, so far this had been the longest interview of the day. And they still had more to do after this one. He hoped the next one would be Dame Julie freaking Andrews in order to make Malik a second choice. And for a moment Chris considered if she wouldn't mind flying in from London to babysit every once in a while.

"Malik, thank you for coming in today." Chris stood "We'll be in touch."

"Thank you for your consideration." Malik rose to his feet as well. Chris smirked, he was taller than Malik, at least by two inches.

"Of course. This has been the best interview all day." Alex shifted Ace to her hip when she stood.

"Well, I wouldn't say they were all bad." Chris shrugged

"Of course not, they all wanted to baby you instead of the actual baby." Alex handed Ace over to Chris so she could shake Malik's hand "Good seeing you again."

"Same to you." Malik turned to Chris "Nice meeting you."

"Same."

Chris and Alex waited until Malik left before they spoke again.

"That went great."

"Yeah- sucks we can't hire him." Chris shrugs and went to put Ace in the stroller

"What are you talking about. Why not?"

"He's your friend, there's a conflict of interest."

"There's no conflict. Malik is a great candidate, he met all the requirements and exceeds our expectations. The fact that I already know him adds a little bit of trust." Alex turned Chris by his shoulders to face her "How about this- we finish the interviews for today and if we find someone else we like then we'll weigh the pros and cons. Sound fair?"

"Yeah, that's fair."

>>>

Chris hated playing fair.

The other candidates barely came close to Malik, the second best one was one of the ‘golden’ nannies, who told them that putting Ace in front of a screen before the age of ten would be detrimental to his health. 

However, if hiring Malik meant that Alex would get to go back to writing without worrying about Ace, then it worked out for Chris. At least that’s what he told himself, when Alex made the call to let Malik know that he’d been the one they selected.

He was changing Ace’s diaper when Alex came in the nursey.

“Malik said he can start next week, which is great because I have a meeting with Sarah on Wednesday.” she smiled at Ace then looked up at Chris “You okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Alex shrugged “You’ve been kinda quiet since we left the agency.”

“Long day. Isn’t that right Bubs?” he cooed and picked up the smiling baby “Look at that smile. Say hi mama.”

Chris angled Ace toward Alex, she giggled seeing her son’s gummy smile.

“Hey my big boy. What’s got you all giggly?” she pulled Ace from Chris into her arms and kissed his cheeks. Ace screamed out another laugh, making Alex and Chris smile. “He’s so freaking cute.”

“He gets it from his momma.” Chris kissed the top of her head “Speaking of moms, yours called me.”

“Why, am I in trouble?”

“We both are, we gave the bigger guest room to your brother.”

“Oh crap.” 

[talktomeinclexa]

Clarke the Vampire Slayer

By: TalktomeinClexa

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Canon Violence, Fighting

Status: WIP

Summary: When Clarke, a pre-med student, wakes up one morning with superhuman strength, destiny comes knocking on her door. Sent to Polis to prevent a demon from opening the Hellmouth, she can count on Lexa, a former Watcher, and her new friends to help her dispose of vampires, demons, and other evil creatures. But will she succeed in stopping the Apocalypse?

***

Chapter 5: New Life, New Me

Clarke slept better that night, the conversation with Raven and the subsequent decision helping settle some of her restlessness. After getting super strength overnight, dropping out, and uprooting her life, she needed structure. A new routine. Some sense of belonging again, or she would go crazy.

She took a quick shower and headed for Main Street the following morning, happy to enjoy the stroll without vampires or other dangers along the way.

From the outside, Sky Crew looked as welcoming as she had hoped. The kind of family-owned establishment surviving big chains thanks to word of mouth and the loyalty of its patrons. Small and busy, with quiet background music and genuinely smiling staff. The modern decor, however, was a welcome surprise.

Based on the facade and general feel of Polis, she had imagined wooden furniture covered in warm-colored upholstery. Something classic, if not conservative. Instead, the Star Wars distinctly inspired paintings, white walls, and stylish chairs seemed to come right out of a sci-fi movie.

Hence the café’s name, she guessed as her eyes scrutinized her surroundings.

“Hello and welcome to Sky Crew. What can I get you?”

A young Asian man behind the counter smiled at her, waiting for her order. One of the friends Raven had mentioned, perhaps? He seemed to be about their age, with a baby face and warm dark eyes that put people at ease.

“Hi. My name is Clarke. I’m new in town and looking for a part-time job. My neighbor, Raven, said you might be looking for more people.”

He smiled and wiped his hands with a dish towel before moving around the counter to greet her. “Nice to meet you, Clarke. I’m Monty. Do you have any experience as a barista or a server?”

“No.” She grimaced at her own admittance, embarrassed to potentially waste his time — and hers. “But I’m happy to learn. Could you call the manager? I brought a CV.”

Monty pressed his lips together, his steepled fingers resting against his sternum. “Are you good with people?” She nodded. “Patient?” Another nod. “Available three to four half-days a week?”

“Yes. I had to drop out of college for personal reasons. My schedule isn’t exactly packed right now.”

Dark almond eyes stared into hers, appraising her for a few seconds, before Monty broke into a grin. “Congratulations! You’re hired. When can you start?”

“Just like that? Shouldn’t I talk to a manager or something?”

“I am the manager.” He shrugged, amused by her confusion. “Monty Green, at your service. Sky Crew belongs to my parents, and Raven is a good friend. If she sent you here, then I trust you. So, can you start next Monday? One of our staff members left recently, and we could use another set of hands.”

Keep reading

[daburuwosagase]

Guess I'll do a year review for the heck of it.

2022 sucked badly for me and for many loved ones (you know who you are). It's been very trying from start to finish. A lot of my coping mechanisms just did not work. There is no silver lining in losing family and friends. There were so many awful circumstances popping up without rest that left me feeling powerless. Dates are arbitrary, but I have been looking forward to the end of the year since March.

In the coming year, I want to get off the internet and go outside, get a job in the field I'm actually trained for, focus on one-on-one relationships, whatever else will make me feel like I'm progressing with my life. I've been very thankful to have physical stability all this year and last. But it's time to get back up.

Recounting all the awful stuff would just be a downer, so I'll list off the positives:

Graduated after six years! Got oodles of qualifications! Sure would be nice if an employer took notice! I worked my butt off to actually get good grades in the last semester and boost my GPA over that 3.5 threshold. I think I'd have been really frustrated if I had ended up at 3.49. So I'm proud of myself for pouring effort into my own future for once.

(Technically) finished up the biggest translation project I've ever done. I'm not taking on that much unpaid solo work ever again. But wow, I think I deserve street cred forever for that one.

Got foot surgery after four years! Now that I'm *literally* back on my feet, it's...

...actually, I'm gonna derail this post and talk candidly about that. I just did my exercises for the night and my legs are feeling great. I bounced up the stairs with a spring in my step earlier today, and moderately quickly at that. I've been able to go on walks around the neighborhood and still have strength after getting back home. I can just STAND. Back in the summer, I couldn't even stand around normally without some pain.

I'm frustrated with myself for not getting help earlier, for always thinking "yeah it was pretty bad last week but it's feeling better, so no need to call the doctor, right?", for taking so long to progress to surgery even when I finally DID see a doctor. It shouldn't have taken four goddamn years when, according to what I'm reading, surgery can be considered after six months for what I had.

If you're reading this right now and you experience chronic pain: please schedule an appointment. Don't wait for the next flareup.

Anyway, it got so bad that I just couldn't walk. The pain wasn't like constantly walking on spikes — it only felt like that for brief moments here and there, as if that's much better. But it WAS constant, and eventually would hurt even when sitting down. And I was wondering if I was going to be stuck in pain for the rest of my life, not able to go anywhere, not able to do anything about it. And I *did* give up on going outside and standing in the kitchen long enough to make a meal.

When the doctor explained surgery as an option to me, it sounded too good to be true. Nothing else had worked, yet this method was supposed to be a total cure? She made it sound pretty damn perfect though. So I scheduled a date, put my life on hold for two months, and actually started to feel hopeful. Only a month left of grinning and bearing it, only a few weeks, a few days...

...and like I thought, something just HAD to go wrong. Just like every other thing this year. One stupid false positive test and eeeverything got rescheduled, and the month-long timer got reset, and I was heartbroken. It hurt so much and I was so scared that it'd happen again.

But as you know, I *did* get the surgery. I was insanely anxious in those last three days beforehand, but by god, afterward, there was NO pain in the places where it'd been constant before. Sure, I could only crawl for two weeks, and I'm still relearning how to walk properly, but holy crap! I can move around! I can stand around aimlessly and it doesn't hurt! I could probably run, though I haven't tried! I managed to walk around for two hours on uneven ground last month and see the sights of a nearby national park, and it was beautiful and unbelievably peaceful and it's a memory I'll treasure for life. We're planning to revisit the same place next month, and while I know it won't be the same as that perfect first time, I'm still so excited for it. I can plan in advance again! I have things to look forward to again! All of this seemed impossible a few months ago!

I'm still holding my breath a little because this year has just burned me over and over again. But the groundwork has been laid for things to get better.

[coccyodynia]

things:

four years and a few days ago, i entered treatment for dual diagnosis care to treat my mental health and drug use

for about 4 straight years before that, i’m not sure i was sober for more than an hour at a time

i was really heavily using benzos and always mixing them with an extreme amount of alcohol

frequently confused as to who i was then, how people perceived me, and how i’m still alive

i’m extremely grateful i went to treatment, because if i hadn’t had some kind of intervention, i dont think i would have survived another year like that

i still really really struggle with relapses

and in the last two years i’m not sure i’ve managed to have a clean streak longer than 3 months

but i am trying

my drug abuse ended up being the last straw for some important people in my life, who would eventually leave my life bc of it

anyway moving on to other topics

i finally saw justin this week, for the first time in three months

it’s been a pretty weird 3 month period of not really knowing where we stood bc i couldn’t keep my feelings to myself, and he needed a break from that i guess

i understand it will never again be like it was when we first started talking

and tbh that really kills me, but i’m very grateful he’s a part of my life still, in some way

the connection was immediately really strong from the start and i really credit him with helping me a lot

he was probably the first person to verbalize “i’m here for you”, and actually follow through with that sentiment

meeting him almost exactly one year after reid left my life is probably worth mentioning here but whatever

ive finally been able to start seeing my therapist again, and i meet with her monday

right now she can only schedule me every other week, which is a really hard adjustment for me to make tbh

since october of 2019 i probably have had therapy at least once a week

im really struggling with staying sane bc my job has become an incredibly stressful place for me, which didn’t used to be the case

like work has always had some level of stress, sure, but this last month or so, i have been getting physically sick from the stress, crying at my desk every day, etc

but on the other hand, i’m also having these really meaningful yet overwhelming moments of gratitude for being where i’m at

like yeah nothing is perfect or even close, but i have created a life for myself that works most of the time

im finally experiencing a level of safety and security that i have honest to god never felt before, and i did not even know that it could improve this much

growing up i didnt have any sense of safety or security at all, which i didn’t realize until very recently

in the last year or so working with nicole (my therapist), i have finally learned that the things i was subjected to as a child were not normal, and that it was traumatic

about 6 months or so ago (possibly less), i learned i have complex post traumatic stress disorder

i had pretty much known for over a decade that i was borderline, before i was officially diagnosed

but i didn’t even have an inkling of an idea that i could be experiencing CPTSD, so when my therapist gently told me i was, my world view realllyyyyy started to shatter and shift

it has been very very difficult to come to terms with tbh

anyways i really miss writing and photographing and making art so i hope to return to that soon

i’m at work rn and i should probably start doing my job before the bosses get here so ta-ta for now thanks for reading this insane post

[min-pathologica]

so i take a child development class, right? and now we’re to the point in the semester for hands-on experience, or getting paired to a child to go around with for the class as they play with stuff and do scheduled activities. but holy shit, children aren’t for me. i signed up for the class thinking i’d get to learn about developmental psychology. all i’m learning is that childcare is one of the last careers i would want to follow. nothing horrific happened, it’s just that i got paired with a kind of shy child. that was the first issue. the second issue being that i suck at talking to little kids. i don’t have good customer service voice, and when i try it just sounds like a very forced joke, maybe even to a 4-6 year old. we were not given a scale of what these kids know and what they don’t, so i was trying to figure it out and i guess they know the first four letters and numbers, because she knew all the numbers at the math table and like two of the letters at the language table. it seemed like her favorite activities were putting the stuff back in the bag and washing her hands. but hey, good for her, she’s a clean coquette girlie or whatever lol. i was scared of sinks as a kid. and i just didn’t like dealing with the kids all-in-all. i was watching my classmates be all happy-happy-mommy with the kids and it was embarassing, being the awkward one who didn’t know how to fill the silence and the kid was shy and independent and didn’t seem very enthusiastic about being paired with me. at one point one of my good-with-kids classmates started talking to my kid too, like okay that’s one way to insult my work. like yeah, she was in the right to do so, but it felt so shitty. i felt like one of those ineffective distant moms in books that would have a crisis whenever other parents parented my kid (the first day of spring, nancy tucker). even if i don’t have “maternal instinct” or whatever the shit, it just felt like an insult. like when someone starts mansplaining something you already know because you made one little error doing it. luckily the class has an observer job for unpaired students, which is just holding a clipboard and taking notes on a child’s actions the whole class. it sounds like the perfect job for me. so i’m going to try and stand at the dead back of the line every time now so i can get it. because i think i’ll get grey hairs if i have to deal with a child like every week

[lagroupie]

Interview: Frankie and the Witch Fingers, "Data Doom"

Frankie and the Witch Fingers after their set on the mountain at Palp Festival, through my Nikon.

A few weeks ago, the amazing Frankie and the Witch Fingers were back in Switzerland for a beautiful set at Palp Festival. They played in the middle of the afternoon, but still managed to drive the crowd wild! Their schedule was tight, but the band still agreed to do a little written interview on their way to the next shows.

Four years after our first interview at Le Romandie in Lausanne, I briefly catch up with the band and ask them about their new album "Data Doom". I also ask them about their potential character class in a video game.

Many thanks to Frankie and the Witch Fingers and Palp Fest for making this happen!

Could I get a full update about your lives? Are you guys still based in L.A.?

Pickle: Yeah! We’re still based out of LA for now. Me, Dylan, and Josh live up in the East Hollywood area - basically, like the Silverlake/Highland Park neighborhoods if you’re familiar with LA. Nick is down south in Palos Verdes, but we all meet up in the middle at our practice space which is in the industrial warehouse district south of Downtown. It’s like our clubhouse. Our home base where we hatch all our evil plans.

Dylan, in our first interview I remember you were making bagels as a side job. Is that still the case?

Dylan: I’m not making bagels anymore, but Belle’s is still the best place in LA to get one! These days we’re on the road or in the studio most of the year, but I’ll always be a bagel boy at heart.

Josh was also recording for others. Is that still the case?

Josh: Not so much recording for others, this band keeps us really busy, but I recorded a solo synth album during the pandemic. And I'm currently mixing the newest album by Monsterwatch!

Frankie and the Witch Fingers playing Palp festival. Because moshing on the hill was dangerous, the crowd was a bit further down.

Your upcoming album, "Data Doom", comes out on Sept. 1st. I looked at the tracklist in your interview on Spin magazine, and the main theme seems to be technology. Was it intentional or did it come naturally?

Dylan: Technology and how it’s been affecting humanity both negatively and positively is something I’ve been interested in and thinking about quite a lot. I think a lot of people are thinking about it. Especially in these super bizarre times we’re in. Over consumption, misinformation, addiction to screens, blah blah blah. I guess because of that, when it came to write lyrics and sort of craft the ideas behind the music, that was the subject matter that flowed the most freely. Everyone in the band seemed to agree that the conceptual ideas that were forming also fit the music that we were writing together, so it kind of continued to fuel the creative fire. I think there’s hope hidden in there too. So maybe the AI overlords won’t destroy us all, if we can get our shit together.

One of the singles "Futurephobic", is out. The music video is by Slim Reaper from Media Pollution. Could you tell me more about them, how you did you meet? Was the evil Ronald McDonald his idea?

Dylan: We’ve known Taylor (Slim Reaper) for years now, he’s been making amazing live visuals for us and a bunch of bands we love, so he’s part of the extended family. We knew we wanted to work with him, and we were stoked when he brought his production company Media Pollution into the mix. We did a call with them and talked about a bunch of ideas and imagery we had been into. They ran with it and came up with this freaky 80’s horror piece. We couldn’t be happier with the video. Our talented friends showed up last minute to fill the acting roles and to help out. It’s honestly my favorite video we’ve made to date, it was a super fun shoot.

Finally, let's say each one of you is a character in a video game. In your party, who is the warrior, the thief, the mage and the bard? (ndlr: Nick answers the question)

Warrior — Pickle. I mean, just look at her. She's a force to be reckoned with.

Thief — Nick. He's a mischievous little rascal, always up to no good, for better or for worse. 

Mage — Josh. He is the brain and the brawn. 

Bard — Dylan. He is the well-spoken poet of the group, who always has something wise to express.

[lgcnina]

✰  ◞  JOURNAL ENTRY.           snippets from the last 3 months … ( solo ).

     — 1.5.23 —

     honestly, i don’t know how consistent i’ll be with all of this . . . journaling stuff. i don’t enjoy writing in this way, it feels rather forced. whenever i’m hit with the need to jot anything down, be it a feeling, word, or mode of expression, it’s always in relation to some sort of lyric writing— that, in and of itself, feels revealing enough. but, seeing as this is a necessity, i’ll at least try to check in every few days or so. maybe even once a week, if i have the time.

     really, how different and exciting can each new day be when schedules are all the same?

     — 1.15.23 —

     i have to say, this is all rather dull. obviously, image maintenance is important— we’re all ( for the most part ) training to be idols, after all. how the public perceives you is one of, if not the, most important aspects of the job. public opinion, for better or for worse, is everything. more than anything, however, while learning of past mistakes and scandals within the company's roster has been fairly insightful, it’s been more morbidly amusing than anything else. oversights can happen to even the most diligent of people, and it’s a bit depressing to see what would typically be considered a normal, trivial matter to the average person ruin someone with a spotlight shining down on them. i guess the striking lack of normalcy is the trade off to being at the center of attention . . . i’ll keep that in mind and continue doing as i have.

     — 1.23.23 —

     i think i’ve gained a deeper sense of fondness for crystallis’ and v&a’ discography.

     — 2.7.23 —

     shoveling snow isn’t the chore i’d been thinking it was going to be. sure, i’m a bit winded after practices each day, and the cold doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon, but my stamina hasn’t been worked to the bone for nothing. additionally, i can be by myself for a while ( yes, i know i’m not actually alone, what with the other female trainees doing just the same as me and company staff overseeing everything, but i can detach myself just enough to get the job done peacefully and quietly. between shoveling and running grocery errands like we did this past weekend, i greatly prefer shoveling.

     — 2.18.23 —

     i accidentally cut my finger a little while using a boxcutter to open a box of mandarins we were instructed to put away. i cleaned the cut right away but even now, four hours later, the citrus still stings.

     — 3.10.23 —

     i’m not an actress. i don’t want to be an actress. having to practice my acting skills, as a result, seems like a bit of a waste. i understand that, technically, that’s where my weakest parts lie, but i don’t want to embellish. i don’t want to put on a show in the sense of playing pretend. i want to perform, not deceive. there’s no need to play the part of someone i’m not when i’m perfectly able to keep myself in check just fine. since it’s deemed a necessity, however, i won’t speak complaints outside the confines of my words now. they’ll still be seen, sure, but it’s ok to have different view points. so long as i’m not causing a ruckus, i’m fine. besides, this is only for a month, i can make it through that much before recentering my focus.

[going-through-some-stuff]

Entry Twenty - Saturday, January 28 2023

It has officially been the longest I’ve gone between the posts, over a year at this point. A decent amount has changed since December 2021 when I last updated this thing. I finally actually moved to KC since my time in Manhattan came to an end and I started a new job a few weeks ago. I’m still definitely depressed, but being in somewhere with plenty to do and tons of friends has made me probably the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Having a more regular schedule has also helped, since I don’t have to drive four hours round trip to another city for work now that I actually live here. I live by myself now which is a huge plus. I loved my old roommates but living alone is much more ideal for just how I am as a person. I play magic basically every week in person at this point which is fucking awesome, this game is so much fun and so many cool people play it. I was skimming the post before this and talked a lot about just starting my first actual corporate level job so I’ll touch on that again. First thing’s first, working from home is infinitely better than being in office. Being able to just fuck around when I have down time is a huge plus for me, along with just being able to get out of bed later than normal, etc. If you get a job that requires you to work in office more than like one day a week after an initial training period look for other options unless you really like being in office for some reason. Also onto the big news of me starting a new job. It seems like I didn’t really go into specifics about what exactly my job was in the previous post, so I’ll continue that trend here. I left my old job for a myriad of reasons, being things like pay, benefits, number of days per week in office, etc. I liked most of my coworkers and the handful of you that I was/am actual friends with know who you are and are the reason I stayed as long as I did. The breaking point for me was when I got to my end of year review and earned a very high rating and was told I basically do everything above average, especially for only being in industry for a year, and they gave be a forty-one cent an hour raise from $20.50 to $20.91. I asked my supervisor if there was any way to get more because of my performance (for reference people who got at or below average got the same percentage increase as I did), and they basically spent an hour talking in circles about company policy, there’s nothing they can do, blah blah blah. So I immediately updated my LinkedIn and started looking for new jobs. Low and behold, there’s a company in the same industry half that is half the drive time from my apartment to my old job, has better benefits, offered me $55k/year starting (about $27/hour), and also I was going to get to learn how to do things I had been wanting to learn about for a pretty significant portion of my time at the old job. The only downside was saying goodbye to some of my customers and a handful of coworkers who I do still miss seeing on a regular basis. From what I’ve been told though, some of the people I did say goodbye to were able to get a pretty good raise because another one of the more competent employees left about the same time I did, so it’s not all bad I guess. I truly am probably the happiest on a day to day basis that I’ve been in a long time, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have bad days. Today started out pretty good, I went thrifting with a friend I haven’t hung out with in months and got some good stuff. We also got some solid Chinese food (the crab rangoon was solid and the general tso’s was ok but still good). I got home and wanted to take a nap since I didn’t get much sleep last night but that just didn’t happen and I think that’s why I feel as shitty as I do right now. Being tired and the coming down from spending most of a Friday evening with a lot of friends and then immediately getting up and going to hang out with another friend the following morning can hit pretty hard. I’m hoping to sleep like a damn rock tonight but I know that’s not going to happen since I don’t every get good sleep, but hey who knows. Either way, I’m going to try and go to bed now so it’s ya boi, AW, signing off.

P.S. it seems like I’ve been pretty hit or miss with using the tags, so I’m going to just stop using them entirely. It’s a lot of work and I just don’t feel like it lol.

[barikinbear]

Some incorrect quotes for the people with all the versions except 2003 because I haven’t seen it

Brace yourselves because there’s going to be a lot and I don’t know how to add a read more. If anyone knows how to do it on the mobile app, please lmk because nothing I can find is helpful.

Bayverse Donnie: my memory is like a steel trap! I’ve never forgotten anything

Bayverse Leo: you forgot me in the Target parking lot two weeks ago

Bayverse Donnie: no, I left you in the Target parking lot two weeks ago. Try again

2k12 Leo: Turtle Bots, roll out!

2k12 Raph: I age ten years every time you speak

Rise April: sorry it took me so long to bail you out of jail

Rise Mikey: no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have used my one phone call to vote on American Idol

Bayverse April: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives.

Bayverse Casey: I wake up at four thirty a.m.

Bayverse April:

Bayverse April: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Vern: my girlfriend and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-

His gf: sentences

Vern: honey, don’t interrupt, it’s rude

‘07 April: I know you’re deflecting by making jokes about how hot you are

‘07 Casey: *sniffles* it’s not a joke. I’m a legit snack

Rise Mikey: do any of you ever want to talk about your emotions?

Everyone: no

2k12 Mikey: I do!

Rise Mikey: I know, Other Me

2k12 Mikey: I’m sad

Rise Mikey: I know, Other Me

Rise Leo: help!! I told Dad I’d cook dinner tonight but I can’t cook!

‘07 Leo, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag ‘87 Leo is holding: and you thought we could help?

Rise Donnie, to Bayverse Leo: hey, how long can a person breath inside a washing machine?

Bayverse Leo:

Bayverse Leo: where’s your Mikey?!

Kidnapper on the phone: we have your genius son

Rise Splinter: oh no, he has you

Kidnapper: wha-?

Rise Splinter: good luck! *hangs up*

Bayverse April: I love you guys, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me

Bayverse Donnie: we’re the best thing that ever happened to you?

Bayverse April: yes!

Bayverse Splinter: I’m starting to feel a little sorry for you

‘07 Splinter: can I be frank with you all?

Rise Leo: sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help

Bayverse Mikey: can I keep my name?

2k12 Casey: shh, let Frank speak

*Rise Mikey is cooking*

Rise April: any chance that’s for me?

Rise Mikey: it’s for Raph. I’m planning on making some bad decisions tonight and I need him on my side

Rise April: wow, I never realized the forethought that goes into being a disappointment

Rise Mikey: oh it’s a full time job

‘07 Leo: I think we’re missing something

‘07 Donnie: teamwork?

‘07 Mikey: cohesion?

‘07 Raph: a general sense of what we’re doing?

Bayverse April: I’m going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

‘87 Mikey: and this knife I found!

‘87 Raph: all right, listen up losers! Not you though, Rise Mikey, you’re an angel and I’m so glad you’re here

2k12 Leo: okay, help me please!

Bayverse Raph: got two words for you

2k12 Leo: I bet they won’t be helpful

Bayverse Raph: your problem

2k12 Leo: I was right

‘87 Leo: okay, truth or dare?

Rise Casey: truth

‘87 Leo: how many hours have you slept this week?

Rise Casey:…

Rise Casey: dare

‘87 Leo: go to sleep

Rise Casey: I don’t like this game

Bayverse Donnie: you’re my best friend and the closest thing I have to a sister. I would anything for you

Bayverse April: I want you to eat three full meals a day and have a healthy sleep schedule

Bayverse Donnie: absolutely not

‘07 Raph, standing next to 2k12 Raph: are we in trouble?

Bayverse Leo: take a guess

2k12 Raph: no?

Bayverse Leo: take another guess

2k12 Splinter: my policy is if you see something, speak up

Rise Mikey: I saw a squirrel on the way here! It was being chased by a cat

2k12 Splinter: outstanding! This is what I’m talking about, people

[sopejinsunflower]

2022.001.001: Through the Glass

I live in an old manor in the middle of nowhere and it’s not half as bad as I thought it would be.

Long story short, a grandaunt who I have never met but had been under the relative list my whole childhood while I lived at a foster group home, had died and willed all of her inheritance to me with the condition that I live here for at least a year before I can have the freedom to do as I please with it. According to the market value, the manor along with its acres of land, would set me up for life should I decide to sell it later so here I am. Not a bad arrangement. 

The house comes with an old housekeeper, a cook and a gardener and for the most part, they leave me alone. Because of this arrangement, I quit my job and am currently doing my masters full time, and with the pandemic suddenly happening and the whole world under lockdown, I’m mostly stuck in this place doing online classes with a very shitty internet. But every month, like clockwork, for as long as I live in this Solomon’s Manor, a large amount of money (I won’t say how much for safety reasons) appear in my bank account and will continue to do so until the year is up, and then, as per the agreement, I will get the rest of the inheritance, assets and everything in between that my mysterious yet generous grandaunt had left behind. Perks of being each other’s only living kin, I guess.

Why was I in foster care instead of with my grandaunt? Well, I was told by the lawyer that contacted me that she travels a lot for work and a kid would not have fit in her very busy schedule. I’m not exactly sure what her work was because even the social workers seemed confused but it’s along the lines of archeologist and researcher and tomb raider. Apparently she travels all around the world finding and collecting things, most of them old stuff. The house is three floors but the third floor is closed off and from what I understand from the very little conversation I have with the mousy housekeeper, it’s where my grandaunt’s trinkets and trophies are stored. No one is allowed up there but it’s not like there’s a whole heavy lock and key and a bodyguard that keeps an eye on the third floor; just an old dresser blocking the stairway. 

 I have about one or two classes a day from Monday to Thursday and being unable to go anywhere, I’m mostly battling the crippling almost insane boredom that comes with living in a huge house with no one else to talk to and nothing to do. So the third floor is my playground. It being a restricted part of the house doesn’t exclude it from being taken care of, albeit just the hallways. I started exploring on the third day after my arrival, jumping over the dresser and creeping up the carpeted stairs easily. 

Like the second floor, the third floor also has twelve rooms, all closed but none locked. All of them are full with all sorts of artefacts that looked like they belong in a museum, from huge hieroglyphic vases to old, creepy paintings to a variety of dangerous mediaeval tools and weapons. There were books in all languages, each one older than the next, some even in glass cases, some in writings that didn’t look like any language I’ve ever seen. It took me a week to go through all of the rooms just to look at the stuff; some rooms the doors were blocked by how overflowing the room was. It took me another week to sort out categories: arts, books, documents and scriptures, armoury and tools, vases (it needed its own category by how many there were), Chinawares, silverwares, tapestries, and miscellaneous. 

By the third week, I had a fifty-paged list of the items that are on the third floor and the bulk of it were in the first two categories and miscellaneous. During my little exploration, I learnt a little more about the house itself. The manor’s first floor has floor-to-ceiling windows on all four sides, two each on one wall. They lined either side of the wall with stained-glass panes in the shape of the Sailor’s celtic knot in moss green that run the length of the window. It’s actually quite pretty if you look from the outside. Google tells me that the knot represents an eternal bond, unbroken by time.

This place itself is called Solomon’s Manor and according to a simple painting in the foyer that was meant to show the estate, it looks like the house is at the centre of what looked like a natural Solomon’s knot in the lay of the land. I guess my grandaunt was a total romantic but as far as I know, there was no husband nor children. To keep up with the celtic knot theme, there is an oak wall decor in the shape of the celtic spiral knot above the fireplace in the main room downstairs. It became a private game with myself to try and find these knots throughout the house and I realised that the sailor knot was carved on the sides of the bannisters, too.  

By the end of the first month living here, with all of the twelve rooms explored and categorised. and having nothing else to do, I wandered the hallway a little further down than usual with the thought of wanting to look out the small window down the hall. It would have given me a great view of the back land but that was when I found the little trapdoor to the attic. 

I had to jump to reach the dangling rope to pull down the ladder, pausing to wait for the dust to rain down on me when the ladder unfolded noiselessly. Hm, no dust. I climbed the ladder and noticed another celtic knot on the surface of the trapdoor; an Anam Cara, a love knot. I traced the shape with my finger before pushing open the trapdoor. The first thing I noticed after climbing through was the bunk beds in one corner, two of them put end to end. In the opposite corner was another bunk bed, this one with a queen on the bottom part. The beds were all made pristine, the corners tucked into sharp edges

I looked around the room. Other than the beds, the room is set with desks and chairs and cupboards, enough for seven people. There’s a three-set sofa and beanbags on one side of the room. A small door in the corner led to a small shower room with a toilet, the tiles dry. Upon closer look, there’s only a light layer of dust on all the surfaces, making me think that someone is taking care of this room albeit not often. The late afternoon sunlight coming through the one and only window highlighted the dust swirling in the air as I walked around the room inspecting. I opened the cupboards and all of them had men’s clothes in them, each with a different style. Did my grandaunt actually have sons? Where are they now? 

I stood in the middle of the room, turning in a slow circle to try and see if there was anything that could give me a clue as to what had happened to the residents that used to live here. But there was nothing, other than the place looking like a typical dormitory hostel that had never had any guests in a long while. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder about the people who used to live in this room. In that moment when my mind wanders about the room’s former residence, a chill creeps down the back of my neck. It felt like the temperature dropped and goosebumps ran down my arms that I rubbed my hands over them. Drafts, I think. It’s an old house anyway. I shrugged and walked over to the small, round window spilling in sunlight, hoping that would warm me up a bit. 

Out this small window, I could see most of the back side of the house and the land up to where the edges are, marked by this long chest-high cobbled wall that runs all around the property. Most of the land is woods but some parts are only tall grasses with a small creek that runs down from the nearest mountain, through the woodlands and across the property. I haven’t had the time to explore the land around the house yet except to go down to the creek. I could see the sparkling water from here. 

As my vision focused on my own reflection in the window, something else came into focus that made my blood run cold. Through the reflection in the glass, I could see what looked like figures standing behind me, all dressed in a white flowy shirt, their faces obscured due to the sun in my eyes. I whipped around so fast my neck gave out the loudest crack but found myself staring at an empty room, breathing heavily as my heart pounded in my chest. The dust motes swirl in the air, the silence palpable. My eyes roamed around the room in a panic trying to find any traces of there having been someone, anyone, in the room with me but nothing. 

Then the sun disappeared behind a thick cloud and the room grew dimmer and even colder. I didn’t wait any longer but slowly, and as calmly as I could, walked towards the trapdoor and climbed down, not even bothering to lower the trapdoor quietly, letting it fall back down with an obvious thud. I kicked the folding ladder back up, bolting down the hallway with my head half-turned to make sure nothing was chasing me. I jumped around the dresser at the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with Mrs Oliviera, the housekeeper.

She hadn’t been pleased to know I had been up on the forbidden floor but she didn’t need to know that that wasn’t my first time breaking rules. After escorting me back to my room, she insisted that I should not, under any circumstances, go back upstairs. 

“It’s very dangerous,” she said, eyebrows furrowed so deep they merged together. “Many dangerous things up there. You should not go up there again lest you will be cursed!”

I only nodded in return and it satisfied her enough that she went on her way with one last withering look at me. Her warnings didn’t matter. What happened earlier scared me enough that I never visited upstairs for another couple of weeks, deciding that there was nothing left to explore or to add to my stupid, useless list. During that couple of weeks, I focused on my classes and assignments. I would be lying if I didn’t think about the incident almost every night before bed, wondering what it was that I had seen. Maybe nothing, just a trick of the lights or my active imagination. The more days passed, the more convinced I became that that was what it was. 

One afternoon, I was outside on the grounds taking a walk with an apple in hand. It was a beautiful late spring day and I could see the gardener mowing the lawn on one side of the house. I walked all the way down to the creek and sat down on a stump. Munching on my apple, I could see small fish in the water, dancing around chasing each other and making small ripples on the surface water. Ahead of me was the house. Against my own will, my eyes were attracted to the topmost window, the one in the corner just below the shingles, staring at it as if I was expecting something to happen.

Instead of anything happening, I had this growing feeling of being watched right back, like there was someone on the other side of that glass pane looking back at me. My chest grew tight and I was trying not to panic over nothing and counted to ten before I slowly looked away. I lost my appetite and threw the half-eaten apple into the water. I wished I could ask about that room to Mrs Oliviera who seemed to be the longest employee of the house but asking would prove that I have been up there when I had been warned not to. It also made me wonder why I was told to live here for a year when half the house is restricted with little to no information whatsoever. 

I stood up, brushing the butt of my jeans. The mystery of it all was nagging at me and I decided that I was going to go up there one more time, to see if I can find out more about whose stuff were left behind and, hopefully, where they were now. I walked towards the house, all the while feeling eyes on me the whole way back.

~~~

“Do you think she really saw us?”

When you finally disappear out of sight, Hoseok finally turns away from the window to look at Jungkook sitting on the edge of the queen bottom bunk bed, a hopeful look on his face. He sighs, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t know, Kookie. I hope so.”

“I don’t think she’ll be back,” Taehyung scoffs from behind Jungkook, laying down and staring at the bottom part of the bed above him. “Think she got scared.”

Jin laughs. He’s sitting at one of the desks with Yoongi, playing cards and he’s winning. “I can still remember the way she ran down the ladder. Never seen someone moved that fast.”

“Come on,” says Yoongi without looking up from his cards. “It was lucky for us that the poor girl didn’t get a heart attack. She could’ve hurt herself.”

Jimin sighs and stands up, pacing the floor. “She looked like she didn’t expect it.” Then he looks up at Hoseok, forehead creasing. “You don’t think that the old gal forgot to tell her, do you?”

Hoseok only returns Jimin’s gaze coolly, easily communicating that yes, he does think so. Namjoon groans from the floor, pressing the palms of his hands against his eyes. He’s laid down like a starfish on the carpet, staring up at the ceiling. “What are we going to do?” he wails. 

“We’re going to be stuck here for decades,” Jimin says with a pout. “Again.”

“There must be something we can do,” calls out Jungkook, eyes wide and wet. “I don’t want to be stuck here forever.”

Hoseok lets out a heavy sigh and goes to sit in one of the chairs to watch Yoongi’s and Jin’s card game. “I don’t either. We just have to wait. She’ll be back.”

“How do you know that?” asks Taehyung, propping himself up on one elbow to look at Hoseok. “That old hag could get in the way.”

Hoseok grins at him. “The housekeeper won’t be able to do much, Tae. Don’t worry about it. Remember the first time we met Soon-hee?” The others chuckle lightly, some nodding to indicate that they do. “She’ll definitely be back.”

Jin slaps down his last card, winning the game of whatever they were playing. Yoongi just looks relieved the game is over. “I really hope that this is it,” Yoongi says as he stretches in his chair. 

Jin links his hands behind his head. “I have a good feeling about this one.”

Namjoon sits up abruptly. “This time, we have to play fair.”

They all exchange knowing looks with each other, none saying a word. They remain quiet the rest of the day, staring pensively at some random spots or other, hoping and praying that somehow you will find the courage to come and pay them another visit, preferably at night.

As the sun sets beyond the horizon outside and a red dusk falls over Solomon’s Manor, the seven men in the attic watch patiently as their own skin starts to materialise into more solid forms, the translucence filling up as gravity grounds the seven pairs of feet more firmly onto the carpeted floor.

Downstairs, while you eat alone in the large dining hall, in a small nook of the kitchen where you have never been and not allowed to be, the cook has just finished setting up the dumbwaiter, making sure none of the food spills on their way up. He signals the housekeeper on the third floor via a small bell system that runs throughout the house and closes the lift door shut. He presses the button and watches the old lift shudder its way up. 

Mrs Oliviera waits patiently on the third floor in the hallway where the dumbwaiter arrives. She takes out the food and puts them onto her cart before wheeling them safely towards the attic trapdoor. It takes a lot to transfer the food one by one without making as much as an eye contact and when she finishes, she hurriedly closes the door and folds the ladder back up.

She leaves the third floor via a hidden passage used by the servants in the old days without another backward glance, whispering prayers of protection under her breath.

~~~

I had heard the sound of the dumbwaiter in the walls but didn’t know what it was. It’s an old house with creaky floors and even noisy plumbing sometimes, especially at night. I didn’t question it as I ate dinner. 

All I had on my mind that night was to go back upstairs, back to the attic to see if I can find out more about that room and whoever used to live there. Tomorrow, I thought, determined. Tomorrow when it’s light I’ll go again. 

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