#I guess thatll be their ship name

[mrhotdog95]

various doodles and aus…. random alien au me and my bestfriend came up with and beastars au hehegrhehe…

[coyotecares]

i don't even ship them, my moots on twt just keep drawing them and now they're haunting me

[tenwhiteandalusians]

pertaining to the idea of tenax’s band of strays i do think it’s touching that the kids are the ones who saved him and waited outside the door to make sure he’s okay. for all tenax claims to be harsh and cruel it’s a fine indicator of his character that the kids won’t rest without him and are there every time he’s in danger.

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E5 "Choose Your Pain"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

yeah i still dont like a black woman being "someone to fear burnham" idk guess we'll see. hmm i feel like there could be something in that telescope oml this view into the bridge and other facilities onboard discovery at the start of this episode is SO PRETTYYY let me LIVE. there. oh this is weird oh so space bear gets the titty stab but not burnham XD ofc ofc awww space bear depressed let him outttt id be depressed too, stuck in there with only a slop bucket and no moss in sight :/

ayyyyeee vulcan aboardd also why katrina's eyes are so red is she ok? bruh i been preoccupied by tardigrades too um ok lorca, mr. isaac clarke over here with your eye stabbery i kinda like lorca's face. hes so "f everything idgaf" oh my god the scale of the ship next to the shuttlepod

beat em up oh crap hmm hes gone so acting captain'll be saru thatll be interesting ugh i love this intro theres this feeling of utter suspension hearing and seeing it ugh seeing discovery fly through all these things and spin its so nice ugh the handssssssssssss i love the measurements and all these things and the constellations left behind ugh so much to see look at saruuuu cant wait till he frkn understands burnham's previous decisions and can stop treating her so blah i love his eyes WHO ARCHER JONATHAN AAAA PIKE CHRISTOPHER OH FUCKKKKK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND THEN IT WILL BE you know. you know. YOU. KNOW. oh my god ok shaking okokokokok MUDD DID YOU JUST SAY YOUR NAME IS MUDD MUDDDDDDDDDDD AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA oh my god this is so cool

oh dang. this poor guy. he was just in there to get foot in face. you sure are mudd. you sure do do that survivin. hi stamets. lmaooooo he knows hes brilliant - get it stamets own that shit it is kind of odd hearing burnham say such praise haha oh yeah its all BURNHAMS fault uhuh. cool to see some lone captain scenes its so odd to see such serious lighting in a trek production. listen. this is still all so NEW to me k. this guy ash tyler is pretty what is that its cute but also id be way to scared to come anywhere near that thing ughhh this outside shot of ncc discovery is so PRETTY thats so interesting? warp freeways because of space shrooms. damn. im with it.

DI DID DID DID THE THEY USE THE F WORD ON S T A R T R E K ???? DID THEY FUCKING USE THE FUCKING F BOMB ON FUCKING STAR TREK, ON THE FUCKING STAR TREK ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT FUCKING NOW HOLY FUCK I DID NOT I DID NOT HEAR THAT. my fucking mandible fell off when i heard that. i cannot believe what i just witnessed. i cannot believe my ears. not even AOS did the "fuck". oh my god "fuck" is canon in trek. that brought tears to my eyes hang on yall holy. shit… ima table that cuz i cant get over that idk when i can wow

saru has the perfect voice its so saru. its really cool to see his face like this the prosthetic is so great. it looks more real than (almost) anything pure cgi. cuz it IS real. i love it. beautiful example of practical effects. beautiful execution. also sorry but "predator"? really…? i dont appreciate burnham's treatment at all when its already bad enough that black women are almost always represented racially or with such a societal disdain cuz fucking EVERYONE hates black women. it is what critically annoys me in this series above all else so far :/ also sorry but WHAT THE FUCK DID STEWART DO HOW DARE YOU FUCKING THROW IT FUCK. YOU.

#LorcaNotMyCaptain

ugh not again with the titty stabbers. dude. this is slavery. let the fucking space bear go. look what you did to it. he shriveled up to survive. i HATE the treatment of other lifeforms in this series so far. CRACK IT OPEN? fuck you saru. fuck you too stamets. man everyone is so unlikeable. thats another issue i have in this show so far almost everyone is unlikeable af.

i didnt get to know phillipa that much so not much to say. burnham is so standoffish, idk if we have anough time to unravel her dimensionally. sylvia is kind of more annoying than endearing. lorca is lorca. ofc i dont like him (except i DO like an unperfect captain - i just wonder if hes redeemable). stamets is so catty like i get it yes be proud of your ideas that people might be ignorant towards but bruh still theres not enough good quality to counterbalance it so far. saru looks cool sure but hes so blatantly crass towards even other non-human lifeforms when he himself is non-human, cuz sry all that "crack it open" bullshit is gross af, desperation or not. i would NOT want him as my acting captain, ill say that, no matter how pretty he might be. i like ash tyler the most so far. i mean i get it its only episode 5 of 15 in s1 of 5 seasons - but still maybe im not too used to this many characters simultaneously being difficult to connect with. im gonna wait and see if this all develops. saru's feet. are hooflike his hands are so expressive his shape is so hes so lank. im SO impressed with how amazing he looks up close. i can SEE the subsurface scattering of his skin and the blood in his veins yeah please. we need this small talk with saru. thanks. k. i needed to see this redemptive quality in saru and co. cuz the getgo, everyones so adverse to alignment and connectivity

poor space bear i really hope you will be happy out there, mossie. youre FREEEE oh my god. space bear just warped. oh my god WARPING space bear. i need a plushie of it. mossie. stamets and doc. they gay for each other. they hubbies. they are literally brushing teeth together. yeuip. they gay. mhm. for sure. wow. first ever fucking explicitly gay couple in star trek. and it took this FUCKING long. i aint talking about TOS yall, we all know the love story that is the first 4 seasons + 6 classic films + 3 alternate reality films of Star Trek k - i just mean very literal and established archetypically, that makes sense. about fucking time. IDIC is literally mother gay but this took half an entire century to fucking show a gay couple onscreen. fuck me. k well. SNW Season 2 and 3, dont let us down. Im going to fucking die if theres even a wisp of something near Lower Deck's "K+S" carving scene. i digress.

alright DISCO, ima see how you unpack all this universal animosity, cuz damn are you thick with it in the first entire third of your first season.

[pixlatedvampire]

that size diff shit gets gets me ya know?

bonus:

[nachosforfree]

Remy watching Thomas and Andy cuddling “haha, gay”, him internally “god, i wish that were me”. (Don’t worry, they all have a slumber party after that)

Fjjfnsnf i love that

[trashsoph]

My OCs!

•Tomás, a 22 y/o dude who’s a huge space nerd. One day, he was coming home from work (he works waiting tables in a hotel) when he met-

•Iván (human name), an alien with three eyes who had just crashed on planet Earth.

I don’t have a title yet, and I’m still writing the story. My idea is to make short, funny comics, but I don’t know where to start lmao All in all, I want to make character sheets so you can meet everyone that way and know more about their story!

•Samuel, he’s a transboy tired of his roommate (Tomás) bullshit.

•Pedro, next door neighbour. Basically the voice of reason of the group (and also a science nerd).

Also they’re gay.

[mobdoggo100]

girlfriend cuddlesss

[always-evergreen]

I literally want you to answer all the book q list qs. Thx

haide ur a disaster

putting under a read more bc I dont want to clog up ur dashes

1: What book did you last finish? When was that? - I finished 1984 this afternoon!

2: What are you currently reading? - currently reading zodiac unmasked by Robert graysmith

3: What book are you planning to read next? - a confederacy of dunces by john kennedy toole

4: What was the last book you added to your tbr? - the chronicles of Narnia (as a re-read)

5: Which book did you last re-read? - the Christmas mystery by jostein gaarder. I read it every christmas

6: Which book was the last one you really, really loved? - I read the picture of dorian gray last month which I rlly enjoyed

7: What was/were the last book/books you bought? - I bought the whole raven cycle earlier

8: Paperback or hardcover? Why? - paperback bc hardback is rlly unwieldy

9: YA, NA or Adult? Why? - tbh im not overly fussed:/

10: Sci-Fi or fantasy? Why? - fantasy! I think bc I grew up reading harry potter and Narnia and stuff like that im just always gonna have a real love for fantasy stuff

11: Classic or modern? Why? - hmmm I guess classic? but I dont rlly mind

12: Political memoirs or comedic memoirs? - comedic bc I dont understand politics and I like to have fun

13: Name a book with a really bad movie/tv adaption - its not terrible but the first one that comes to mind is the book thief, just bc I love that book sm and the movie didn't quite live up to what I wanted

14: Name a book where the movie/tv adaption actually was better than the original - I cant honestly think of one at the moment

15: What book changed your life? - hmm maybe lord of the rings?

16: If you could bring three books to a deserted island which would you bring and why? - fahrenheit 451 bc its my favourite book, the book thief bc it was my first favourite book, and the statistical probability of love at first sight just bc its sweet and fun and the other books are serious

17: If you owned a bookshop what would you call it? - haven would be cute maybe

18/19: Which character from a book is the most/least like you? - combining these two bc I genuinely cannot think of an answer, ive never really seen a lot of myself in any characters or consciously thought that a character was nothing like me tbh:/

20/21: Best summer/winter read? - also combining these bc I dont change my reading habits based on seasons

22: Pro or anti e-readers? Why? - I dont have anything against them but I dont use them, just bc I prefer physical books

23: Bookdepository or Amazon? - idk what bookdepository is so unfortunately I guess amazon:/

24: Do you prefer to buy books online or in a bookshop? - bookshop all the way! I love bookshops so much!

25: If you could be a character from a book for just one day who would you be and why? (Bonus: any specific day in the story?) - pretty niche and also I cant rmmbr her name but I just spotted the girl who circumnavigated fairyland in a ship of her own making on my shelf and that little girl has a pretty baller life so ill take a day in fairyland please and thank you

26: If you could be a character from a book for their entire life who would you be and why? - no thanks! I feel like that would turn into a massive bummer eventually

27: If you could change one thing about mainstream literature what would you change? (i.e. more diversity, better writing, better plot etc.) - tbh I dont read a lot of modern mainstream books so I dont rlly have an answer to this

28: How many books have you read so far this year? - mmm 11 or 12?

29: How do you sort your shelves? (i.e. by color, author, title etc.) - by author im not a monster

30: Who’s your favorite author? - ray bradbury

31: Who’s your favorite contemporary author? - mmm maybe david levithan?

32: Who’s your favorite fantasy author? - tolkein babyyyy

33: Who’s your favorite Sci-Fi author? - I guess thatll also be Bradbury lol

34: List five OTPs - I would prefer not to I dont rlly have ships anymore

35: Name a book you consider to be terribly underrated - I cant rlly think of anything tbh

36: Name a book you consider to be terribly overrated - lolita suuuuckssss

37: How many books are actually in your bookshelf/shelves right now? - approximately 200, with abt 35-40 in piles on the floor ready to be donated

38: What language do you (most often) read in? - english

39: Name one of your favorite childhood books - just got a sudden vivid memory of the animals of farthing wood which tbh? slapped

40: Name one of your favorite books from your teenage years - ooft uh ill go w the night school series bc I for real fucked w them so much when I was like 15 lmao

41: Do you own a library card? How often do you use it? - I dont think I do

42: Which was the best book you had to read in school? - oh that's gotta be fahrenheit 451 and even though its not technically a book ill put twelfth night up there as well

43: Are you the kind of person who reads several books at once or the kind of person who can only read one book at a time? - I can do either and dont really have a preference

44: Do you like to listen to music when you read? - occasionally, sometimes I find it hard to concentrate w music on but sometimes it doesn't bother me, depends on the mood

45: What is your favorite thing to eat when you read? - something that wont make my fingers greasy lol

46: What is your favorite thing to drink when you read? - I dont normally

47: What do you do to get out of a reading slump? - read a couple of short books just to ease myself back into it

48: Where is your favorite place to read? - my bed, but recently been enjoying the back garden when its sunny

49: When is your favorite time to read? - I like reading at night just before I go to bed

50: Why do you love to read? - it was instilled in me pretty young bc both my parents are big readers and I guess I was kinda shy and awkward when I was a kid (still am actually lol) so it was kind of a shield/escape? also im a fucking nerd

[teddy-feathers]

look my problem with the au megamind where Roxanne is the alien and megamind is the reporter is i cant stop thinking about what i want out of that and how its probably not what other people want out of that which should mean 'oh shit i gotta write it' but really means 'in the next couple of months im going to rewatch megamind and be extremely frustrated because idk how to write these people as is let alone in an au'

but here are some thoughts

Itd have to take place on megaminds home world so like. have to develop that culture and frame it as the usual and other things as oddities

metroman still shows up at the same time the baby human does

roxan richie and metromans rivalry is less of a game and more of a metroman one up'd her ome to many times so now shes gotta take him out

its fine not because shes incompetent- in fact her death rays and pointy sticks are ingenious and have 0% public property or civilian causalities - but because metroman is not only impossible to kill, he adapts to anything that gets close (anything that doesnt kill him makes him stronger literally)

i guess this means theres a good chunk of the story that is centered around human adaptability vs perfect hero dudes adaptability

Roxanne Ritchie is actually a noted scientist or something at the local research facility - i figure blue people planet is really advanced and everyones at least a little technosmart but while it doesnt come as easily or naturally to Roxanne her way of thinking is really unique n shiz and shes an asset to every team....

but if you see her in a mask with some project from the lab macguivered into a gun trying to kill metroman well, no ones getting hurt and humans need hobbies and everyone respects the mask desptie the fact shes the ONLY human on the planet so its not like its hard to figure out who she is

she does spend a lot of nights having to rebuild projects and apologizing and such but basically everyone plays the plausible deniability card and asks her questions abiut what went wrong and okay so the masked menace failed after you let them steal our project but lets pretend for a moment the goal was to fix crops how would you say this did? and grumply shed revamp the guns weird side effect into an alien pollinating crop duster or whatever

got carried away when REALLY all I WANTED to say was

Whille Roxanne Ritchie is adaptable ingenuity and gets away at the last minute NOT because no ones trying to catch her but shes just that CLEVER and thinks ahead and shiz....

Megamind is the guy trying to interview her in the middle of a fight like he thinks he's cute - i mean he is but shes chasing after metroman and skids to a stop because this jerk stepped in for a comment. or shes lining up the perfect shot but theres a close up of megaminds reporter bag in the way

the thing is that maybe... blue people arent violent. a natural disaster hit recently and theyre coming back from it and if the two adopted alien kids want to play extreme tag well no ones getting hurt and Roxanne Ritchie will grow out of her competitiveness no doubt caused by just how superior EVERYONE on the planet is by finding her own niche and metroman will grow up and stop bating her because maybe he IS still better than everyone else and thats met with "oh very nice we're proud" but it doesnt really validate him or make him feel special because its just treated as a special thing he can do by everyong but Roxanne Ritchie and once he's found something that makes him feel good regardless of the attention or lack of it he'll stop playing too

but megamind? megamind has an imagination that loves drama and blowing things out of proportion and thats part of why his reports are so popular? like yeah everyones treating this super hero showdown with indulgence but megamind is good at framing theatrics so that this news story is actually a compelling narrative? and also everyone can see the tension is going to have one of these three "kids" confessing live someday

and maybe he gets carried away. one of those 'aw well next time you could do x or y' or has some technological creation that accidentally actually makes Metroman flinch during an interview

and Roxanne Ritchie starts paying attentionto him for the first time.

and minion warns him but he doesnt listen. minion is lower class and is afraid of being replaced like a pet like some people do but Roxanne Ritchie Ritchie doesnt have a minion and even if she did theyre Best Friends not like those other blue people minion uperclass people.

and he carelessly says something unforgivable and Roxanne Richie uses his ideas and actually succeeds in killing metroman

so she goes to prison - a place they had to build just for her because this hasnt happened since stars knows when

and somebody else is doing the camera because minion left just is gone and megamind looks defeated but testifies against her and is quiet and subdued and stpps being a reporter for a bit

and.... idk. i feel like we'll have to resolve the whole class system so minon goes underground and finds other minons who are unhappy with the way of things and if theyre ALREADY rebuilding society after that huge natural disaster that DIDNT blow up their planet thanks TO a minion well ehy cant they fix this too?

so theres a rebellion going on and theyve got a secret weapon to make blue people listen and idk but i feel like it's Metroman

and... how do stories like this go ive forgotten

minion wouldnt tell megamind or he would

metroman would break Roxanne Ritchie out of prison during the first riot of the minion revolt?

they talk and compare why they hated eachother and slowly work together and are actually a great team?

and then they need a reporter to make themselves heard as something other than minions going crazy

and so of course they go to megamind for help getting the story out

something something megamind is minions sidekick for this adventure

"Roxanne Ritchie was raised by the planet and turned against it and instigated civil unrest and killed a person who was also the good child etc etc instead of just growing up to face your problems"

"actually im alive and i finally found my place? helping out the real heros?"

"i mean i did try to kill him, but he forgave me and we're kinda working together because planet of moms and dads that raised us? yall actually are the ones who need to grow up and let go of the traditions that dont serve etc etc"

and megamind does a huge public apology to minion

and... uhhhhhhhhh fuck i really dont know how these storyies go

the blue people start making amends

metroman basically becomes a social worker for minion childern because finding their original families is a bit hard and most of these kids are just going to end up being raised by super dad but at least the rebellion minion families are actually geting to be their own family units and in a couple gens thatll be normal

Roxanne Ritchie goes back to being the token human in the lab and hangs up her super suit and is generally dissatisfied with this

until one night a hero breaks into her apartment to make her answer for her crimes and so for a legit hot second theyre fighting and megamind says something and Roxanne apologizes and then fighting stops being an argument and goes into banter flirting

the worss "where theres evil good will rise up to fight it" peob comes up a lot in this fic in different iterations

anyways megamind isnjust basically like hey wanna do this like. for the rest of our lives dramatic battle showdowns like its entertainment but like no theyre doing this for real?

the answer is hell yeah

and its a polyship and sometimes Roxanne is helping with the kids and then Megamind bursts in to "save" the family from her evil clutches and 90% of the time everything is improve

megamind kidnaps Roxanne to make metromind save her and a good half of the conversation is that hes an idiot for coming shes tried to kill him three times this week and hes bitching because do you know how hard it is to find a sitter for 30 odd minion kids this short notice and they better make it up to him

Roxanne is not superdad but the 30 odd minion kids adore when she comes over because they mob the villain so hard until finally mega comes to save her because hes actually very good with the kids

of course this poly ship isnt complete without minion and at some point minion and mega realize theyve actually been married for years and Roxanne and metro tease them shamelessly for it

minion and his race need a real name obviously

when Roxanne was a... graduate her senior project theses thingy was essentially "im going to go back to planet earth itll be great ive figured out were im from and how to go there in a reasonable amout of time" and everyone had to sit her down and explain that unlike metroman they knew where she was from the planet was just destroyed.

they never figured out where metroman was from because his direction sharply changed to follow baby Roxannes course and mirrored her coding despite very obviously how he had originated from elsewhere

this is important because his race is basically coming to conquer the blue people planet soon - the group finds out - and will download all the survival upgrades metroman has gotten to become unkillable and then just come down to the surface and be unstoppable taking the place over and whiping out the planet like theyve done many many times

a good chunk of the time trying to figure out how to stop them when this planet is REALLY against murder war and violence for good reason and even if they WOULD do that its impossible over looks some alone time that leads to megamind and metroman figuring out how to like kill him so when the bad guys show up theyll go "whelp better not fuck with them" and leave but between roxanne and minion they manage to not only stabilize metroman (Roxanne blood transfusions maybe???) but they manage to scare the aliens so bad they tuck tail and leave speading rumors that these are the scariest mfs in space (go minion)

metroman never lets Roxanne live down saving his life

eventually space humans show up to check the place out

megamind loves everything human despite most of the planet thinking theyre primitive and showing it

roxanne is reluctant to meet them at first but then really relates to them?

for a good long while it REALLY seems like megamind and Roxanne are just going to go on space adventures with the humans leaving metroman and minion - who really doesnt like them and also they kinda rub him the wrong way because he's non bipedal and they kinda make fun of him in a 'we totally dont mean anything by it lighten up' sort of way.

they don't go of course but they may have stolen a lot of atar charts n shit and who hasnt wanted to take a road trip through space with 30 odd childern who will need names and personalities and may be chopped down to a slightly more reasonable number by this point?

metroman loves space karaoke and his natural abilites mean he learns languages fast but no he still cant carry a tune

megamind and Roxanne still duke it out on various alien cityscapes

minion usually breaks them out of jail if theyre not to be let out the next day because nothing was actually damaged that didnt belong to them.

one memorable occasion it was metoman in a fight with megamind and they wont say what its about but both look very put out and minion looks smug

it doesn't matter in the end because Roxanne teams up with the childern to propose to them first

apparantly i had a lot more ideas about this then i meant to? i mean its not well thoughout out and despite the drama a good half the fic is just going to be cute relationship building stuff between the four of them

[haeroniel-doliet]

i need more money to buy little art

honestly tho feeling like for that ideal goal existence i’ll try get to someday, i’ll needa be making proper money comfortable and good so i can spend all i like on society 6 and other to buy shirts and bags and just everything to a house all in different art prints (mostly florals) bc just those pictures are  like everything i want but just so expensive. i’m trying to sum down like 10 to stickers, bc i wanna do up my laptop, but dedicating to a single decal (thats like 25 ON SALE) is too much esp since i love so much. so ive kinda decided to get a hard cover for the laptop just in case i break it, and just in case i do break my laptop that i can keep the stickers on the hard case and dont lose them to replaced parts. idk seems smart. ill probs buy a kinda shady cover off of ebay for 5 or 6 pound and then spend 20 on stickers for it :] since theyre on sale till 8 am today and its 3 am im probs just gonna settle and order them. might order cover tomorrow w my dad bc i need trust assurance. hes not all on board on the stickers so im just gonna go for it. theyre gonna be like my post cards. i buy so many every place. and no. not trashy postcards. i want art. i have so many postcards of paintings in galleries and so many from comic con art valleys (guess who wants to get so much more and 100% will) i love original art the most when its pretty to me and like everyone who sees it. simples okay but i prefer soft and detailed. excited now i can go to con and also be looking for stickers bc maybe ill get a few cool ones that wont cost me as much as the society 6 ones do. and then my laptop can replicate my walls, displaying all the art ive loved that ive been able to take with me (bc theres so much i obviously dont have on my walls) anyway im looking at these and making some small bc i suddenly realise this laptops got realestate. and the saddest thing w stickers (literally why i had one of those waxy paged sticker books as a child) is that i cant dedicate stickers to a single spot. its so much dedication. what if i buy a bigger sticker and it wont fit? what if i get the perfect sticker for that spot and it wont fit? (over lap i guess) how can i be sure i put them in the right spots to start with? augh i dont really wanna cover just half of it and obviously leave space bc that puts pressure on finding stickers and i might get ones i dont love. i cant get sick of any one bc itll be there  (joy of having multiple mean theres less getting sick of anything). anyway i think im happy w the sizes of these 10 stickers and can work w them (also for now i think im just gonna be going around the edges and leaving the apple logo as it is, esp bc it glows and theres already this shitty old smiley face sticker from my old psych teacher and i kinda dont wanna get rid of it, i just wanna add things around it so it doesnt look so: clean (actually dirty) laptop that a child marked as their own) 

anyway society 6 has random discounts all the time which is p rad and maybe the day im ready to invest in my own living space and dont feel obliged to check w my parents about just about any purchase, i’ll then subscribe to something thatll tell me what discount is on. that in mind, i think i’ll only get the 9 now, that hopefully wont cost too much, and leave a bunch in my wishlist, bc there’ll be another discount (this is 20% off everything)  and maybe that’ll be like 50% off stickers and boy then when my collection is underway you bet ill go for it. and like maxx sticks on their sketch book, if i dedicate to a new book maybe ill get more for that and have a pretty thing to keep and reminisce over (tho knowing me, ill not use it much bc i have a need for pretty things to stay perfect and presentable, and i have a need for everything that i might show to others to be like near perfect otherwise its sucks and ill feel bad bc i dont wanna show it off to people. like my art book, sure i couldve made it all experimental and crap and then edited the real pages together on the computer. but no. i needed everypage to be presentable and pretty and handwritten and creative. and they must go page after page, its so awkward showing someone something and then going “oh wait now these few are empty sorry yeah heres the next page” so i baasically have  a book with mhmmm 20-26 pages of beautiful spreads that im quite proud of inside beautiful covers ( i knew id want to be presenting it for years to come) and the back pages are just...empty. and theyll probably stay that way bc i no longer have projects to be doing to fill them with. maybe one day ill grow into myself and grow out the fear of ruining what ive achieved and fill some with new projects to please myself and be an indepenednt artist not just a teacher pleaser. you know its like that with my work too, like it has to have a direction and a plan that will be achieved, and its terribly frustrating when that vision doesnt happen. but i think thats the same with everyone. 

anyway on a side note, dont you guys think its so fun and cool how ive not done my post labs that were due last friday? how every night ends up being 3-4 am until i go... mhmmmm yeah i guess nothing is happening. like i hope id bloom and do work at that 11pm-3am window and then i get here, suddenly having lost all track and sense of time and just sigh. its wasted, its basically tuesday already. have to keep telling myself dates bc it moves so weird. i planned on getting shit done two days ago. here we are regardless. and the most ill get done is get those stickers ordered bc that is i guess what ive been half focused on for mhmmm5 hrs. then ill save my 7 dollars or whatever, have stickers on the way, tomorrow order the case and thats one insignificant thing done. then the question will be have i looked at summer jobs? no of course not ive looked at ballet courses. shush. i havent showered for days bc theyve just slipped by too laying in bed, maybe tomorrow ill take a shower and pick up all the trash and tissues on the ground. maybe i will. i know i wont get real work done tonight, and already ill be sleepy till 1 pm and by then mom will be again on me abt sleeping to latesoo... yeah no point. and here i thought id make a quick totes relatable short post about how i need more money to buy stickers and maybe a brief my ideal life is to have enough money to spend on art being in every part of my life and all this  being unique so people love coming to my house and go wow its so original and cool. and that turned into a word vent thats so far taken me over half an hour. hi my batterys dying. 

lng story short, i’ll order the stickers currently in my basket after so much though, suck it up and do it and know that i have a bunch over in my wishlist for that next maybe even better sale when it happens. the only thing is im taking all the rest as transparent which for sure dulls them down (yeah white background looks sick but for some its just more classy w transparent, then theres this one bear i’m 100% naming wojtek thats in white bc i feel it’ll be best for him, and i guess having him in white will set that theres no clear rules to follow and worst case if it doesnt fit he can come chill on the keyboard side next to my mouse pad thing) honestly i cant tell if i should be getting them all in white and just hope that theyll look gorgeous no matter what. yikes 3 dollar shipping for stickers, ok itll actually be 19.62 pound and using euro card 22.50 in  euros.... am i dumb? maybe. and tho im supposed to be saving money up so i have some, i also did get birthday money sorta recently soo... birthday gift from them. first set of stickers. deep breaths ok. my parents told me when i bugged them that i just have to make a decision and not ask them all the time, and he said to get 3 stickers i told him id pick 12 so i think getting 9 is reasonable. also oh shit realising that the delivery time is 1-3 weeks and im staying here only 1 and a half more so i should really order it to scotland even tho it might get ther ebefore i do bc my parents might not rly want to send them up to me. idk ok order to scotland, thank f at least one of my flat mates is staying and tbh i should really bring her some chocolate... shes done me faavours. 

[tragicbooks]

34 hilarious, sad, perfect tweets that nail what small-town life is like for gay people.

1. As a gay person, growing up in a small town can have its downsides.

Being gay in a small town really sucks 😒😓

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 13, 2017

2. It's tough.

I repeat: being gay in a small town sUCKS

— Silver 🌈 (@mutineer__) March 24, 2017

3. For starters, your gayness seems to be the one defining thing about you.

The fact that I'm the only person named Selvin in this town and still have to get "the gay one?" in sequence

— selvin (@fuckselvin) May 3, 2017

4. And it's even harder if there's something else that's "different" about you too.

I'm so in love with this picture. Also, reminder: disabled people are gay too. #Pride2017 http://pic.twitter.com/wJukSty3YX

— Elizabeth Jeannel🍍 (@Elizabethjbooks) June 10, 2017

Eternally relevant memo: LGBTQ people exist across all communities in every country on Earth (including small towns!).

5. You're constantly being asked "the question."

Church with my parents today. Small town, deep south. The term"Bachelor" will be used. "You ain't found a girl yet? #gay@LorenAOlsonMD

— James Ferguson (@gulfcoastferg) April 23, 2017

Not to mention its cousin: "You're still single?"

(*screams with rage into the abyss*)

6. Often you're either desperate to hide who you really are...

Wanting to print pictures at the UPS store but not wanting the small-town owners to know you're gay— Jenna Schwarz (@jschwarz143) May 12, 2017

7. ...or you flaunt it like it's nobody's business...

my gay ass needs merch to show my small ass town I mean business 😩

— pook (@Linzielelievre) June 12, 2017

8. ...until you remember that's not always safe, depending on where you are.

Image via tchaikovsgay/Tumblr.

"You know what’s great?" this Tumblr user captioned the photo above. "Putting some gay stickers on your car and promptly remembering Missouri hates gay people."

9. Spotting another gay couple out in the wild is always pretty exciting.

Cute gay couple in McDonald's. One white, one Asian. Little PDA. I ship it.

— Josh H. (@joshkhorton) June 3, 2017

10. There's not a whole lot do to in town already — but there's even less to do than if you were straight.

wheres my small town gay friend group thatll go chill out and drink on top of a water tower and throw bottles at god with me

— 🌱SWEET🌱 (@cousinjune) June 11, 2017

11. A lot of the time, it can feel like the world is against you.

Gay kid vs. small town in southern Missouri. #gay #lgbtq #missouri http://pic.twitter.com/Rrlnvj5S9Q

— Lane Hanger (@LanesTheName__) February 9, 2017

12. Being gay in a small town is almost like being famous. Almost.

Being gay in a small town is like having the plague and being a celebrity at the same time. People are afraid but wanna know all about it.

— Felicia Tempel (@FeliciaTempel) April 24, 2017

13. Big family events can become needlessly complicated.

Awkward is being the gay boyfriend in law at a small town funeral.

— Matt (@matt_lee_t) April 2, 2017

14. But you'll work hard to find pride in yourself wherever you are.

I do the "sad lonely gay in a small town" thing well.

— Prude of Babylon (@sopranohsnap) May 11, 2017

15. If you're out of the closet, your dating options can be ... limited at best.

Living in a small town and being gay is so hard like i have the choice of 3 girls like guess i'll just date myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

— ☁️CJ☁️ (@Aeriolo) April 8, 2017

16. And meeting other people on dating apps is exponentially more challenging.

Being gay in a small town http://pic.twitter.com/BwhZpFnTgx

— Cas💋🥝 (@hazlounilli) May 27, 2017

17. Like, really challenging.

Image via mywickedway/Twitter.

*yells into megaphone* "Is anybody out there?"

18. Because the dating struggle is real when you're a small-town gay in need of some serious gas money.

"30 miles is a wide radius for Tinder." Something inconceivable to my small town gay ass who has to go 50 miles to reach almost anyone.

— Kenneth Shepard@home (@shepardcdr) May 17, 2017

19. Your big "firsts" probably happened a bit later in life.

my biography would be called 'Sexual Repression: The Story of a Small Town Gay'

— isaac thayne 💥 (@isaacthayne99) May 17, 2017

20. Even finding like-minded friends can be hard.

Today i explained the woe of finding gay friends in a small town, my mom said "why do you need gay friends, Why not just regular friends?"

— lil doggies 🏳️‍🌈 (@owlbard) May 15, 2017

Thanks, mom.

21. You definitely know what it's like to crush on someone who doesn't return the feelings.

#MyFirstLoveWas was unspoken and unrequited. One of the downsides to growing up gay in a rural small town in the MidWest.

— Robert (@DaddyPimpin) May 13, 2017

22. And you look for signs that you'll be accepted wherever you go.

Literally any sign will do.

I was worried about seeming too gay for this small town Oklahoma combination gas station/diner, but then I saw the "sassy chipotle ranch." http://pic.twitter.com/4OBJqmZOav

— Emerson Collins (@ActuallyEmerson) April 26, 2017

23. Like, even this poster for a scary movie about clowns is a fierce artistic inspiration to a small town gay.

When you're from a small town http://pic.twitter.com/a5lMi4wReS

— Gay Geek & Fabulous (@officialgaygeek) June 12, 2017

24. Sometimes it feels like those scary movie monsters are the only ones that get you, actually.

the blair witch is a forest lesbian and the babadooks a small town gay

— thotticus (@FellStrategist) April 18, 2017

Which, yes, is very sad. Do better, Hollywood.

25. Your neighbors likely disagree with your political viewpoints.

Going off the reception of my hat yesterday, my small southern town does NOT want to make America gay again

— Annie 🏳️‍🌈 (@ashirleys) April 10, 2017

26. If more of us felt supported in small towns, there would be no bounds to the good we could do politically.

if every gay couple moved to a small town, bought a fixer-upper, and opened a coffee shop, we could elect a hot young president again soon

— Eric-by-the-sea (@ericschmerick) May 10, 2017

27. Maybe the most difficult thing about being gay in a small town is the feeling that no one truly understands you.

Out of all the gay tropes I could've been, why the fuck am I "the only gay kid in a small, damp Midwestern town"?

— miss steal yo girl (@loserlyons) May 25, 2017

28. But here's the thing: Sometimes your small town might surprise you in the best ways.

AT MY SCHOOL, A SMALL TOWN IN TEXAS, A GAY GUY AND A BI GIRL GOT VOTED AS PROM KING AND QUEEN. LIFE IS GOOD.

— abby (@endgamesanvers) April 3, 2017

29. Even in small-town Middle America, there are places that will love and accept you.

.@SpencerPrideInc, "the world's largest small town gay pride," is coming up Saturday!! 🌈 Ladies of Spencer Pride Drag Show at 4pm! 😁 http://pic.twitter.com/VtZOL5zc5f

— Bendovah Plenti (@justbendovah) May 29, 2017

30. Being able to connect with pop culture outside your town definitely helps a lot, though.

Being a weird artsy gay kid in Small Town, Midwest, is hard (even before you realize you're gay). But David Bowie made it a little easier.

— Jessica Colbert (@JessicaLColbert) January 11, 2016

31. And thank goodness for the rebellious teachers who give you the courage to be who you are.

Grateful! Born n 'Bama (small town) & knew who I was (gay). Gr8t teachers from k'garten-hi. Never a slam. Damn good teachers! ❤

— Tony Morris (@TonyMorris20) March 15, 2017

32. Not to mention those life-changing art and drama classes where you found safety and comfort.

As a gay teenager surviving in a small town arts&humanities were my salvation . The art lovers need to fight as hard as the gun lovers https://t.co/kUDejAkh31

— Benjamin Halton (@benjaminhalton) March 16, 2017

33. Because for all their flaws (and there are many), small towns don't always deserve their reputations.

How I came out, any negativity that I've dealt with and what it's like to live in a small town and be openly gay ☺️☺️ #loveislove

— gabs✨ (@kbonekatic) May 18, 2017

They can be pretty damn great.

34. Hopeful even.

Image via Tumblr user Mo-Mosa/Tumblr.

"You guys know what I just realized? Despite living in a Republican small town, I — a queer, Native-Afro-Latina — was voted Homecoming Queen in the fall and class president of my senior class. I was also one of the leads in my school's musical. Three years ago, I thought I'd never be accepted and that I'd never have friends. I was scared to speak up and scared of being seen. There is hope, y'all. Things get better." — Tumblr user Mo-Mosa

🏳️‍🌈 Positive change can't come soon enough 🏳️‍🌈

Fortunately, there are many organizations fighting the good fight with state and local chapters in your own backyard, should you want the support:

PFLAG is a nonprofit committed to strengthening the bonds between LGBTQ people, their families, and allies in their communities. Its work is crucial in smaller cities and towns across America.

The Trevor Project is an LGBTQ youth suicide prevention group helping kids who feel as though they have no one to turn to. They save lives in small towns.

GLSEN is a national organization aiming to make schools across the country as LGBTQ-friendly and inclusive as possible. Because our small-town schools (and all of our schools, really) need improving.

The Genders and Sexualities Alliance (formerly the Gay-Straight Alliance) brings LGBTQ students and their straight, cisgender peers together to build bridges and understanding.