#I guess that's what the movie was for (shock and disgust) so I can't even criticize that can I

[cyanrendipity]

Watched Nosferatu yesterday and then I had a nightmare, coincidence? I think so, the nightmare had nothing to do with it

It was very disgusting! I think I liked it but right now I'm still thinking about how gross it was, it isn't really scary in the sense that there aren't many scares (there was a specially meaningless jumpscare in the middle that I feel was there just because horror movie gotta jumpscare) but it was a moody gothic suspense which is cool.

I liked that the Orlok is out of focus and in the shadows for most of it and that it's hard to find images of him online, I love when you can't take a good look at the monster, he was so DISGUSTING I feel sick just remembering the last scenes.

[all2angels]

BURIED MYSELF ALIVE | basement!gerard x reader

warnings: this is kinda intense don't read if sensitive, NSFW!!, exaggerated writing, kinda cringe but it's meant to be like that, gerard is sooo gross and pathetic, i've never written a bj scene before please be kind 🙏 probably a lot of grammar and spelling mistakes because i could not bring myself to proofread im sorry

this was the last place you wanted to be in, like, this was genuinely a fucking hellhole.

when you walked in, the smell was almost rancid. his room was filled with trash, half-eaten chips, mountains of unwashed laundry, socks that had something in it that you didn't want to think about.

he offered for you to sit on his bed, you didn't want to, but it seemed like a better option than the floor, so you sat on the edge of bed.

you hated yourself for having the slightest bit of empathy, then maybe you wouldn't be in this place. gerard had asked you if you wanted to watch a horror movie at his place after you bonded over the topic one day, and you said yes, but have been putting it off for about three weeks.

all of your friends told you to cancel on it, they said that gerard wss a gross pervert freak and that you wouldn't want anything to do with him, but whenever he'd asked you if you still wanted to watch a movie with him he'd look so pathetic and desperate, you didn't have the heart to say no. but you wished you declined it.

gerard was walking all over the place, with a panicked look and rummaging through his stuff. you thought he was probably looking for the cd that had the movie. you wondered how he could find anything in this place. while he was looking, you looked over at his bedside table, seeing dirty magazines. you let out a scoff. couldn't he have at least hidden those before i came over?

"please don't be mad.." he says, his voice filled with guilt, "i know you've- we've waited for weeks, but i can't find my CDs." he takes a seat next to you, and you hold your breath. he stared at you, you didn't know what to do or say, he was just staring awkwardly.

"it's... fine? i guess..." you said, unsettled by the way he looked at you. you swear that he almost leaned in, and you were trying to prevent anything like that from happening. his eyes was filled with infatuation, and yours was filled with absolute disgust. the way he looked at you made you feel dirty. he was so fucking pathetic, but it was kinda hot how much he seemed to like you, how much he seemed like he wanted to please you.

you turned away from him out of pure embarrassment that you thought in the slightest bit that gerard 'pervert' way was attractive or hot, but you couldn't help it. you decided that the only way to stop these thoughts was to get the fuck away from here.

"hey, i should go..." you spoke up, standing up from the spot in his bed you were sitting in. you waited for him to say something, but he just looked at you and frowned. he looked like he was about to cry. jesus fucking christ you could throw up right now.

"gerard...? are you okay?" you sigh, sitting back down. you couldn't leave him like this. you hesitate, but you put your hand on his back, comforting him. you didn't want to ask, you wanted to get out, "what's wrong?" you say through gritted teeth.

"i'm really lonely, y/n, please don't go." he rests his head on your shoulder. he starts to ramble on about something, and you tune out his voice. the more he talked, the more you started to be impatient.

"you're so fucking pathetic..." you said. out loud. fuck. your eyes widened, realizing that he had heard it. he lifted his head, but the had his gross hand on your thigh. you were going to apologize, but the way that he looked shocked made you want to rage.

"are you serious?" you snap, he looks confused and hurt. "you couldn't possibly think you had a chance, c'mon dude. you're so- i mean, you're a freak."

"i jus', uhm, i-i like you—" before he could even finish his sentence you laughed at him. no fucking way. you turned to him again, and seeing his eyes, you knew he was genuine. his eyes were red from crying, and his cheeks flushed.

"you're so fucking pathetic, gerard. shouldn't come across as a surprise, i don't like you back." you say, standing up to leave, but before you can he reaches for your hand. his hand was calloused, it was rough.

"please-" he begs, "please, listen— i promise you..." he doesn't know what to say, but he wants you to stay so bad. "I'll do anything for you. I'll do anything."

"no! stop it, okay? i. don't. like. you. get that shit through your head. i don't even want to be your friend, okay, you-" he cuts you off this time with a kiss. he tastes horrible, but you don't stop it. fuck it, you think. you liked the kiss.

he breaks the kiss, and you could feel his hard dick on your thigh, his face is close to yours. "give me a chance, please..." he says.

you sighed and pushed him onto his messy bed, making him sit on the end of the bed and going on your knees in front of him. you start to unbuckle his belt, then you undo his zipper. you could hear him whimper. you take out his dick, a little part of you at least expected him to have a big dick, but he doesn't. the size was fine, not like it was too small. it wasn't trimmed, and the smell was somehow stronger than other dude's dicks. you try not to think about it too much and hold your breath.

you tease the tip, licking off the precum which tastes sweet and bitter. you swirled your tongue around his tip, and feel him twitch. "fuck..." he moans. you feel his hands on your hair, petting you softly, it felt awkward though, you just brushed past it.

you give his dick a few pumps, hearing him beg for you hurry up. you spit on your hand, messily spreading it on his shaft before you part your lips to take him into your mouth. you look up at him, see his eyes closed, and head back. you kept on moving up and down, he let out a loud groan.

you continued bobbing your head up and down, you teased his balls. he made such pretty noises when you did that.

you kept your pace steady until you started to feel his dick twitch in your mouth, you began to quicken your speed until he eventually released his load in your mouth, it spread to your face and chest, and whatever was left in your mouth you swallowed.

he dropped onto his bed, panting heavily. you cleaned yourself up with a cloth you hoped was clean on his bed. it was probably filled with cum anyway.

you sat next to him. his dick was still out.

"c-can we do that again?" he tiredly asked, looking over to you.you sighed heavily. "i guess so, whatever. just don't tell anyone." you warned, rolling your eyes. welp

[021894s]

— 18 I wish it was easier.. [1.5k w]

MASTERLIST | PREV | NEXT

PAIRING: brothers bsf! sunghoon x f!reader

WARNINGS: language, mentions of oral sex

AUTHORS NOTE: it’s looking up for y/n and sunghoon!!

your heart raced as you quietly slipped back into your room, the sound of your friends' voices drifting up from downstairs. you quickly sent a text to Sunghoon: "You go down first, I’ll leave the shower running so they don’t think anything." almost immediately, you received a simple "ok" in response. you could hear Sunghoon's footsteps as he descended the stairs to greet everyone.

"Hey guys, how was hiking?" Sunghoon's voice carried up to your ears, a mix of casualness and slight nervousness.

Saerom was the first to respond, her tone exasperated. "Horrible. I should’ve stayed home and slept."

Heeseung laughed, "Quit being dramatic! I had a great time."

Niki chimed in with a teasing grin, "Heeseung screamed like a little girl when he saw a snake."

The group burst into laughter, Heeseung trying to defend himself amidst the teasing. Saerom then asked, "Where’s Y/Nnie?"

Sunghoon, a bit nervous, rubbed the back of his neck. "I heard the shower running."

No one seemed to read too much into it. After a few more minutes, you came down the stairs, more giddy than usual, not that you were aware. "Hi guys!!" you greeted, your voice a bit too cheerful.

Sunoo gave you a skeptical look, "Ew, why are you so happy?"

"Oh, um, I just slept really good!" you replied, trying to sound natura.

you glanced over to see Jaemin and Ningning in their own little world, giggling about who knows what. unbeknownst to you , they had hit it off pretty well during their time away from you and sunghoon. not that you cared, jaemin was just a cover up anyway. you realized how messed up that sounded, but it was true.

Everyone went back to their activities. The three youngest settled on the couch to watch a movie, while the guys headed to the kitchen to start preparing lunch. saerom approached you, grabbing you by the arm and dragging you into her room.

"Are you okay?" you tell her, a bit taken aback by her sudden actions

“you dirty whore!” , she blurts out

Confusion clouded your mind "You slept with him, huh?!"

heat rushed to your face, avoiding her gaze "oh my god, you did." saerom gasped, "shh, keep it down... but yes."

Her shock was palpable. "We ran into each other in the kitchen, and things just escalated."

Saerom's face twisted in disgust. "In the kitchen? y/n , they're making our lunch on that counter as we speak..."

"Well, when you put it that way..." you trail off, feeling a bit flustered.

Saerom rolls her eyes and says, "I'll be skipping lunch, thank you very much."

You can't help but roll your eyes in response. Then, Saerom speaks up again, "So, how was it?"

You reply with a small smile, "Somehow even better than the first? Which doesn't even make sense because it was so rushed."

Saerom smirks and says, "First of all, ew. Second of all, it's probably the circumstances under which it happened. I mean, the first time you guys had no prior encounters and you didn't know what to expect. This time around you knew what it felt like and it's like you've been longing for it. It makes sense."

“yeah, i guess so..” you admit then add with a sigh “i didn’t get to finish tho”

saerom dramatically gasps “he didn’t make you cum??? oh girl…”

you let out a laugh at your honesty “no i mean i was blowing him in the shower when we heard the door open” you hear another gasp “oh my god i’m never gonna look at you the same ever again”.

you and saerom snicker when she all of a sudden lets out a “so what now?”.

“in all honesty i’m not sure. we’ll have to talk it out but it’s not like there’s many places it could go, I really don’t want to hurt heeseung” you explain to her the complexity of your newfound feelings.

“well for what it’s worth you guys can talk it out with him? seung is understanding and he loves you both. who’s to say he won’t accept it?”

a sigh leaves your lips “yeah i guess so… but I don’t wanna think about that right now. I just wanna enjoy our last day before going back home”.

saerom smiles at you, getting up from the bed and side hugging you, opening the door to enter the living space once again. you’re met with everyone in pretty much the same positions as you left them but food has started to gather around the table. you didn’t realize how hungry you were until the aroma filled your nostrils. after all sunghoon did distract you from the breakfast you had made yourself earlier.

everyone takes their seats at the table, you're sitting across from sunghoon. the chatter and clinking of utensils fill the air, but all you can focus on is the subtle tension between you two. It's the kind of tension that's almost electric, the kind that nobody else seems to notice but the two of you.

sunghoon glances up from his plate, his eyes meeting yours for a brief moment before he quickly looks away, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. you feel your heart skip a beat and you can't help but smile back, even though you're trying to keep it cool.

you take a bite of your lunch, trying to act natural, but every time you look up, you catch sunghoon's gaze again. It's like a silent conversation, a dance of glances and shy smiles that only the two of you understand.

Across the table, your friends are oblivious, caught up in their own conversations. You steal another glance at Sunghoon, and this time, he holds your gaze a little longer, his eyes sparkling with a mix of amusement and something else you can't quite place. You feel a warm flush creep up your cheeks and quickly look down at your plate, hoping nobody else notices.

the moment is filled with laughter and chatter, but for you and sunghoon, it's like you're in your own little world, sharing a secret that nobody else can see.

“ningning and I are leaving early” jaemins voice cuts your little moment short. everyone turns to face the pair. heeseung is the first to speak “like.. together?”.

“well, yeah” ningning answers his question. “what about those two?” jake turns to you and sunghoon, both a little unsure of how to react to the situation. “sunghoon and I aren’t exclusive, neither are y/n and jaemin. we hit it off pretty well this morning so we’d like to see where it leads” everyone is left a little speechless and confused, not that you not sunghoon cared tho.

“aw well good luck guys” you wish them across the table, causing a confused glance from heeseung “you’re ok with this? you guys were all over each other yesterday”.

“well that was yesterday. you guys have fun!.” you answer. “sunghoon?” heeseung directs his attention to him. “i mean ningning is right we aren’t exclusive so”.

“you guys worry me” heeseung states, laughter erupting from the table. who would’ve know your little revenge scheme would end up working in their favor?

the rest of the day is spent enjoying the pool, taking in the final moments of your camping trip before having to go back to your daily routines.

The sun is beginning to set, casting a golden hue over the pool area, everyone else made their way inside, deciding to wash up and call it a night. you and sunghoon are floating lazily on inflatable loungers, the water gently rocking you back and forth. the evening air is warm, and the sky is painted with shades of pink and orange.

sunghoon turns his head to look at you, a soft smile playing on his lips. "This is nice, isn't it?"

you nod, feeling completely at ease. "Yeah, it really is."

a comfortable silence falls between you, the only sounds being the gentle lapping of the water and the distant chirping of birds. after a while, sunghoon speaks up again, his voice barely above a whisper.

"tou know, I've been thinking a lot lately," he says, his eyes focused on the sky above. "About us."

you feel your heart skip a beat. "What about us?"

he hesitates for a moment before turning to face you, his expression serious but tender. "I just... I really value our time together. You mean a lot to me."

You can feel the sincerity in his words, and it makes your heart swell with emotion. "You mean a lot to me too, sunghoon."

He reaches out, his hand finding yours in the water. The touch is gentle, but it sends a wave of warmth through you. "I wish it was easier" he says softly.

You squeeze his hand, a smile spreading across your face. “me too”

the sun dips below the horizon, casting the pool in a soft twilight, you and Sunghoon float there, hand in hand. The world around you fades away, leaving just the two of you and the unspoken promise of something more.

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[minoouz]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 ─ L.H

Lee Heeseung x male reader

Genre ─angst, fluff

Reader uses he/him.

Tw : mentions of beating, Heeseung involved in gang, mentions of bullying, kissing, mentions of hitting and cutting, name calling (sissy boy), some blood will be mentioned.

"Okay okay sunoo we get your obsession with dramas. I just hope you don't bring that mint chocolate ice cream like last time." Jay replied, looking the other boy up and down.

"Hey, you guys wanna come over to my house tonight?" M/n asked, his eyes scanning over Sunoo and jay.

"Yeah, maybe we should have a movie night and watch drama's, and I even found this one -"

M/n looked him up in down in disgust, "Heeseung, please shut up before I clock you in your mouth.." "It's not like you're gonna do anything m/n, after all, you still didn't learn from that last beating." Heeseung said, pointing at the three boys with a grin on his face.

"How about you, m/n?" Sunoo asked, m/n tapped his chin and nodded his head.

"Yeah, we should watch dramas, and this time I bring the snacks!" M/n replied to the two.

The three boys continue walking until they bump into someone unexpectedly.

"Oh gosh.." Jay groaned. He looked away from the people in front of them.

"Heeseung, what are you even doing here?" Jay asked, his jaw clenching and his veins popping.

"Look who it is, and I see you brought your little sissy boys again?" Heeseung replied.

"You guys know what to do." Heeseung said, the four other boys behind him walk out, and they grab m/n and the other two.

"You can't be doing this to us, Heeseung!" Jay shouted, trying to fight off away from the boy's tight grips.

"What did I even do!?" Sunoo exclaimed. He kicks and squirms so the grip on his arms and legs can go loose.

"F-fuck, what was that for..!!" M/n groaned in anger as blood dripped from out of his nose, in the alleyway Heeseung's pitiful words being spat at the three boy's could be heard.

Heeseung smirked as he cracked his knuckles, and his jaw clenched, "I'm just teaching you guys a lesson since you don't know how to learn."

With a swift move, a punch could be seen going across m/n's face. Sunoo looked in shock, and he started panicking. Jay, on the other side, squirms around, trying to fight off the men.

"Guess there's one last detail to add." Heeseung smirked, he pulled out his pocket knife, and he lifted up m/n pants.

"Now, where should I carve it?" He tapped his chin, then his eyes landed on M/n's thigh, Heeseung looked back up with a smirk, and the pocket knife aimed towards m/n's thigh.

"Don't do it..!!!" Sunoo shouted, Jay only sat and watched in shock and anger.

"N-no.." Jay mumbled. He looked up at m/n, and he spots the tears escaping from his eyes.

"Y-you belong to me, from L-lee Heeseung.." he replied, more tears could be seen rolling down his face.

The loud screams of pain and agony filled the alleyway, Heeseung stepped back and started to admire his work.

"You mind reading to me what that says m/n?" He asked, m/n sulked, and his lips quivered.

"Good..and let's keep it that way." Heeseung crouched in front of m/n, grabbing his chin and forcing him to look up at him.

Heeseung then leaned in and planted his lips onto m/n's before pulling away with a chuckle.

"Don't tell anyone about this at all, or the next beating will be even worse." Heeseung pushed the boy back.

He turned to Jay and sunoo before grinning.

"Let these three go, I'll spare them for now." Heeseung said, making the four men drop sunoo Jay and m/n.

"Go on, shoo?" Heeseung said. The three boys took the opportunity to run home, and Heeseung stood there before waving.

"Remember my words m/n, you belong to me."

A/n : That's really it. It was gonna be short, but I had to make it long for you guys. I hope you enjoyed it!

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires- Part 2

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 698

Masterlist

I can't wait for you to come back, and on Monday, you do.

Don't get me wrong, (Y/n), I've tried to look you up. I'm sure you understand why. You can’t blame a guy for being careful. These days, you have to find out everything you can about a person before getting involved with them.

But for someone who seems to enjoy attention so much in real life, you have almost no online presence. Your social media are all on private, and Googling your name left me with very little information. I found a high school picture of you, with some Dutch text that - when translated to English - amounts to basically nothing.

Anyway, you're back now. You meet my eyes for a second as you come in, but then you disappear between the isles. I try not to keep track of where you are too much, but it's impossible not to notice you.

You're wearing light blue jeans and a long-sleeved shirt today. There's text on it, but I haven't been able to read it yet. You're also wearing a beanie. Bad hair day? You can't be cold, it's still the middle of summer.

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you come to the counter.

Today's book is The Handmaid's Tale. You're in the mood for something shocking.

“Hello again,” I say.

You seem pleasantly surprised.

“You remember me? I thought for sure I would have gotten lost in a sea of faces. I mean, this is New York.”

“No, of course I remember. Dutch girl. Joyland,” I tell you, as if I don't remember your name at all. As if my search history isn't currently all you.

You smile, glance at my nametag. I noticed you didn't do that last time.

“(Y/n),” you remind me. “And you're… Joe.”

“Guilty. Joe Goldberg.”

You look up, meeting my eyes. Yours are brown. The text on your shirt says ‘No inspiration today, sorry.’

“So did you like it?” I ask, as I ring you up. “Joyland, I mean.”

“It was good,” you say. “I tore through it in a day.”

Yet you stayed away for nearly a week. You don't want to seem too eager.

“Well, you'll like this one,” I say. “Or hate it. It's very morbid.”

“I like morbid,” you assure me, as you hand me your card. “And creepy.”

“The Handmaid's Tale probably can't be qualified as creepy, sorry to disappoint.”

“Isn't it about women who are forced to breed? It sounds creepy to me.”

When you put it like that, I guess you're not wrong.

I wonder if you like scary movies. We could go to one, together. Afterward, you wouldn't want to sleep alone.

“Well,” I say. “You'll have to let me know if you found it creepy, then, I guess.”

You hesitate. Then, you say: “Not to sound weird, but maybe I could let you know over text?” You pause, waiting for me to answer. When I don't immediately (because I can't believe my luck), you rush to add: “This isn't a come-on. I would never, like, flirt with someone who has to be nice to me. You're working, y'know? It's just… I only just moved here, and I haven't made many friends–”

I hold up my hand, smiling.

“I didn't think it was a come-on. Texting sounds good. Do you have your phone?”

When you get it from your pocket, I tell you my number, and you put it in your contacts. You're careful about it, I notice. You don't want to get a single number wrong.

You look up at me, then pick up your book. You're breezing out again, but that's okay, because you're going to come back. Even better: you're going to text me.

Today is a good day.

Behind me, there's a whistle. I turn, and Ethan is grinning at me.

“Did a girl just ask for your number? Lucky.”

“Go stock the shelves, Ethan.”

“I already did.” Ethan shakes his head. “Why are all the pretty girls who come here always into you? Leave some tail for the rest of us, man.”

‘Tail.’ Disgusting. Ethan makes everything sound sordid. Even something as beautiful as you.

[mins-fins]

I WISH YOU WOULD (P.WB)

SUMMARY . . . there's so much more he could've done, so much he could've said. he hates what a stupid mistake he made, and how ashamed he was. what does scrutiny matter if he couldn't even get his feelings out in the first place?

PAIRING . . . park wonbin x male!reader

GENRE . . . angst

WARNINGS . . . internalized homophobia, homophobia in general

WORD COUNT . . . 0.9k

NOTES . . . HAPPY FRIDAY!!! 1989 tv comes out today and i wish you would has always been my favorite song on 1989 so um this is what spawned because of it 👍 i'll be back in half an hour im gonna go watch that scary robot movie lol‼️

. . . lomls @partiallyderived and @jinkiseason asked to be tagged (they wanna make me cry so bad thats so crazy 🤣) (im listening to cherry bomb)

"i love you".

if wonbin could go back, trust he would.

there's something disappointing about falling in love with your fellow trainee, your fellow trainee who is also your best friend, your fellow trainee who is also a boy. he wishes he could rewrite time and not convince his mom to change his class at school, because then he would never have met him.

and now that sounds downright ridiculous, it can't possibly be that bad can it? i mean— falling in love with your best friend as a whole is an entire kind of situation that happens in books and usually has a happy ending. what's wrong with his best friend?

nothing, there's nothing wrong with him.

it's wonbin that's wrong.

having conflicting feelings is normal, obviously, everyone experiences it when they have a crush, but wonbin didn't want to have feelings for his best friend, wonbin didn't want to have a crush on a boy.

y/n was probably one of the best people he's ever met. he's kind, and understanding, and beautiful, and humorous and pretty much attractive to anyone with two pairs of eyes, he's the perfect boyfriend material, he's just perfect.

and maybe that's what felt so wrong about having feelings for his best friend, intimidation.

well, wonbin liked to lie to himself.

yeah, that's the reason your afraid of having feelings for your best friend, your "intimidated" by his perfection, not because your scared of what others would think, other trainees, management, your parents, the world, that's not the reason your afraid of having feelings for him.

wonbin had never really spent a lot of time thinking about it, and he hates how he can practically hear the responses from people the moment he realizes his feelings for y/n.

they're staring at him like he's disgusting.

and what's worse than having people judge you? judge you for something you yourself can't control?

it's what keeps him up at night, those worries used to be planted at the back of his mind, because how would it even become something of relevance in his life? it'd never actually become real.

and maybe he's wrong for thinking such a way; after all, he can't just let others dictate who he loves or doesn't love.

but it's the thoughts in his mind slowly eating away at him that make him feel like everything's spiraling out of control. he can't date y/n, in a company like sm, in a country like korea, where if someone ever saw them together he'd be scrutinized and black-listed from the idol industry despite how hard he's worked?

it all makes him feel sick to his stomach.

how was he even supposed to tell y/n? he knew y/n wasn't homophobic but.. then there's the fear of rejection, he can't even imagine the kind of look y/n would give him if he found out. not out of disgust, but out of surprise, shock.

somehow, his mind thinks of every bad possibility as an outcome.

and just staring at y/n, sweet beautiful y/n who has no idea what he's fighting in his head, makes him fear confessing even more.

the two of them are already what i guess you'd dub "over affectionate". they do a lot of couple-y things like have matching rings, cook for each other, help run errands together, cuddle, steal each other's sweaters, cling onto each other like they were lifelines.

if everything stayed like that, wonbin would be just fine.

but of course, when has life ever been nice to him?

wonbin can't really stare at y/n without feeling like he wants to break down into tears and sob, they could be having the best time ever and he'll still have this overwhelming wave of sadness wash over him when he remembers his feelings.

it disappoints him in a way that it shouldn't..

and y/n clearly picks up on his sudden change. his flushed cheeks, mutters, and the way he seems to enjoy avoiding eye contact with him these days.

is his unusual clinginess noticeable?

wonbin usually isn't self conscious about things that like, but he guesses falling in love with your best friend makes you begin seeing things in a whole different light. he can't help but notice the uncomfortable shift in the air between him and y/n.

nothing has even been said.. so why is his anxiety through the roof?

wonbin finally snaps out of whatever dream he was having when he feels nails dig into his shoulder, squeeze them like his life depends on it. that's all it takes for wonbin to flinch, and he hates the way his reaction is so immediate, it's just more obvious that way.

y/n blinks, startled by the way he suddenly flinches. "you okay?" he inquires, and wonbin wants to kiss him so bad it infuriates him.

he shouldn't want to kiss him.

he feels like he's being pinched, and somehow he forces out a response; "yeah i'm just tired".

y/n doesn't buy his lie, it's evident in the way he stares at him for a specifically long time. "you should be fine".

wonbin pauses. "what?"

"your gonna debut, i wouldn't worry about it" y/n mutters, and he brings his knees to his chest as he rocks back and forth.

wonbin stares, hopefully not for too long, because then he'd just be looking too obvious and then y/n would ask more questions.

he really wants to punch himself at the moment.

he shouldn't feel so disgusted about being in love with y/n.

but he does.

[toomuchracket]

PLS PLS PLS GIVE US POLLY KICKING D WORD MATTY IN THE SHIN LORE AHHHHHHHHHHH *that’s me screaming at the top of my lungs omg*

buckle up, babies, it's lore time.

basically, on tour, when there's no show on a sunday (or even if there is, you'll do this before or after), you and the girls (polly and gabi, and if charli and mrs mac and carly are around they'll join in) congregate in someone's room to drink wine and eat snacks and gossip and watch a movie. sunday sesh. and you all agree to make a point of continuing it after tour each week or every couple of weeks, just for a catch up, alternating whose house you're all meeting at. the first sunday after tour ends, it's your flat at 6pm. cute, nice, fun.

unfortunately for you, quite literally as soon as the plane landed back in london, you and matty sped back to yours and have been holed up in the flat doing nothing but fucking (catching up on all the sex that was impossible to have on a packed tour bus), so fervently that to be completely honest neither of you have any idea what day it is anymore. so, yes, as you can imagine, sunday comes around, and you're practically none the wiser.

anyway, you and your boyfriend order a takeaway for dinner. the intercom buzzes, and nobody speaks, so you figure it's the food. matty - shirtless, literally wearing grey sweatpants and nothing else - says "babe, you get the plates, i'll go to the door for the food", and you - wearing underwear and one of his t-shirts - agree.

the door goes. matty opens it and goes into a coughing fit. because, as you've probably guessed by now, it's not the food at all, it's the girls. all of them. and they look HORRIFIED. carly nearly drops the literal box of wine bottles in her arms in shock, but gabi grabs them before they hit the ground.

nobody really seems to know what to say, until matty decides to awkwardly lean against the doorframe in an attempt to be casual and asks "so... what are you doing here?" - charli folds her arms and says "you answer that question first, healy", and he's like "um. hanging out". polly squints at him (she doesn't have her glasses on) and says "is your face wet? why?", and matty literally cannot resist smirking and saying "you're really asking me that? they could revoke your lesbian card for that, mate"; she scoffs and kicks him in the shin like "don't be such a twat" (but she does it harder than she means to and he's genuinely like "ow! pol!"), while the rest of the girls start groaning in exasperation at him being crude like "oh my god, i can't believe she's fucking you" and "give me strength" and "well, the slut uniform makes sense now" lmao.

meanwhile, you're back in the flat wondering why matty's taking so long, so you pad into the hallway like "baby? everything alright?", and when you hear what is unmistakably mrs mac screech "baby? what the fuck?" you blanch as you realise what day it is and run to the door to save your boyfriend from the wrath of the girls. like, you stand in front of him protectively (he puts his arms around your waist it's very cute) and muster up a smile like "hi girls. forgot it was sunday. soz. how are things with you all?", and mrs mac is like "don't deflect, sweetheart - explain. now", and you sigh like "you'd better come in. matty, babe, could you wait for the food while i talk to them for a second?", and he says "of course, darling", and kisses your nose to further noises of disgust (and an "awww!" from carly lol) as the girls make a beeline for the living room.

anyway, you're like "can i have two seconds to make myself presentable?", and charli's like "absolutely not. spill" - you take a deep breath, and you tell them everything. i mean, not the d word stuff, but the rest of it; you're like "first of all, just to preface, because i know you all worry about me - it's serious. very. we're in love, guys", and despite themselves everyone smiles. gabi's like "how long have you been, y'know, a thing?", and when you're tell them that it's been like 7 months "but we wanted to wait until tour was over to say, so nobody thought it was like, i don't know, just a fling while we were away together, or that he was taking advantage of me" they're all like "jesus. alright".

matty comes back into the room just as polly says "you've seemed a lot happier on this leg of tour, to be honest. so has he, actually", and he giggles when you quip "yeah, well, it's nice having someone to fall asleep with in hotel rooms. and the other stuff that happens in there". mrs mac takes a long drink of wine and winces as matty snuggles in beside you and digs into idk chow mein or whatever, and she's like "the realisation that all of your sex stories were about matty... i feel a bit ill. i should not have asked for details about the hot tub. or the time i caught you having phone sex on the bus. or the time i heard you through the wall and you told me it was the best sex you'd ever had. christ"; matty's like "best sex you've ever had? aww, babe", and you roll your eyes while he kisses your head but you smile and kiss his hand. carly giggles like "you guys are actually really cute, you know. adam thinks so too" - matty sits up straight like "carly you did not tell the boys please tell me you didn't", and charli's like "of course we did. had it in the chat before your girlfriend even appeared. also they're on their way over, squizz and john and all, so i'd put some clothes on unless you want them to rip the piss out of you even more than they're already going to". you giggle while matty groans and trudges off to get a shirt and some leggings for you, and on his way back mrs mac corners him in the hallway and says "you know i love you, and i'm actually really glad you're happy and you're dating someone who's not a dick. but i love her just as much as i love you, and i promise you that if you ever hurt her, healy, i WILL castrate you with a pair of nail scissors. got it?"; he's like "jesus alright. but i won't hurt her, mate. she's it for me, really. gonna marry her one day. m'serious", and she beams like "oh, that's lovely. still. i'm keeping nail scissors in my bag from now on. just in case" lol. but yeah! that's how everyone finds out about you and matty lmao

[anhed-nia]

It's always a little sad when one of your precious niche fetishes gets popular. I'm not proud of admitting this; on the whole, you should want success for the things that you love. But in some cases it's like the sad stereotype of the childhood weird girl friendship that is doomed by the onset of adulthood. The friendship is such an important of your identity and your sense of place in the world, but then one day your weird girl friend starts to realize that she has more potential than that, she wants other things and she can get them too, and suddenly one day she's back to her natural hair color and she's wearing bad clothes and having sex with jocks, and even worse than your personal sense of being left behind is the realization that she's boring now. It's not just that you don't have that special person in your life anymore, it's that the person no longer exists. Um anyway that turned out to be a major exaggeration of what I was trying to say about the explosion in popularity of folk horror, which was previously one of my favorite flavors of horror; I mean I guess it still is, but the now when I see the trappings of folk horror it's no longer a must-see matter. It's just as likely to signal a generic, predictable, pandering movie as anything else.

Why has folk horror blown up like this? Kier-la Janisse would tell you that it's because of her epic documentary WOODLANDS DARK AND DAYS BEWITCHED, which is genuinely great and you should see it. But I have a sense of today's folk horror boom being "an idea whose time has come", something that is emerging in the popular consciousness because of our collective experiences. Like it's probably not a coincidence that folk horror has come into focus at the same time that the trad wife trend is happening, and witchtok has become a thing. I could say some pretty hackneyed things about the psychological effects of the digital age and our increasingly technologized, disembodied existence, but I will just let you imagine them instead.

Even though I know that the whiff of folk horror no longer promises me a great time, I still watch new specimens pretty slavishly, and LORD OF MISRULE doesn't totally suck. Actually it's tense and interesting for quite a stretch, up until you realize that it really isn't pursuing any big ideas. But my favorite part of it is--this is one of my favorite things in general, where something outrageous happens in a movie and the characters have a completely bizarre reaction: A child is abducted during an old pagan festival, and the parents slowly realize this is no ordinary crime. Actually the mom realizes immediately that something fucked up is happening while the husband keeps trying to do things by the books, almost hilariously, even after they stumble upon something so appalling that it's hard to even describe. I wish I had a screenshot for you. They find this piece of...art?...that's like a dripping wet animal hide wrapped around a hideous diorama involving baby dolls and all this shit, and underneath it is text that says HE STANDS IN THE FIELD AND WAITS. The whole thing is incredibly repulsive and shocking and you can't even begin to imagine who would make such a thing, like the fact that it even exists is really bad news in and of itself...and then the husband is driving them home calmly musing, "Hmm, WHO stands in the field and waits?", as if the most interesting thing is the exact meaning of this caption and NOT the fact that they've seen one of the most arrestingly disgusting objects that you could possibly stumble upon. I really wish the rest of the movie lived up to that one construction, but I guess nobody else found that as exciting as I did!

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary399

10/25-26/24

friday - saturday

at the bookstore decade anniversary, i saw the writer andre aciman read.

the writer of call me by your name. i've not seen that movie, or read any of his work, his new book roman year. the excerpts were good but the best bit he read was when he was, at 16, reading from this book of case studies of perverts, 'inverts', spit fetishists, incest lovers, and so on, and his fascination and thought, the world of sex unfolding before him, he could be any one of these, 'as if i read a horoscope and all 12 signs resonated'. that's a loose quotation of him reading it. he also talked about himself, a more interesting man than i would have guessed. i suppose i had a much more positive feeling toward him than i expected, i also didn't expect him to talk about his wife...

a strange thing... or... i don't know... we were on the guestlist, a curated list, this was a special event, a lot of free food, really delicious desserts... this chocolate ganache thing, it must have been italian, my god... i had like... 2-ish. 1.5, if i'm kind to myself i guess. i feel stupid like i overate today. i feel so disgusting honestly and i kinda wanna make myself puke but i won't but tomorrow i'm really gonna try hard to not eat really. tomorrow. i don't know. i feel insane. for lots of reasons. i really feel... ugh. not going to type it out. i'll make myself spiral. i swear i feel so ugly and gross though and stupid and fat ugh i hate how i feel right now. but that's expected... not even from the food. even if it's felt a little much these past couple days... it's really because of a person i talked to today just spreading his lunacy...

anyway, here's a pic of me, i only got to take one, but i was trying to dress in an annoying skinny jeans way, to celebrate the hellp album kinda... not like, really, i just think this looks cute, but... you know... live in the moment even if it's stupid or whatevsss:

i took pics in the bar bathroom and i thought i looked better but the lighting wasn't really good and i think i look so ugly... so now i feel ugly because of that and wonder what i "really" look like if that makes sense.

anyway here's the pics from yesterday:

here's the ai thingies:

and here's an image from today i can't really explain or i guess i can. this person has made multiple people i know including myself feel totally crazy:

i know how weird it is, and evil, to take photos of people without them knowing, pointedly. but it feels warranted for what he is. i guess i'm just another evil person out here, in a world of them, one of the ugly evil things. i should jjust ddieeee.

i talked to one of the owners of the bookstore today, and a guy who helped make it happen, both from new york, as is the other owner of the store (the owners are this super cute gay couple), the owner talked about john zorn, i interjected at a point they were discussing nick cave, and i said i love the birthday party but later nick cave doesn't do so much... i like his used car salesman pathetic freak thing a lot, and that dissolves, the owner talked about him being like a preacher... but i dunno... he really doesn't embody the thing he tries on earlier albums as a solo artist even, the other guy, i'll call him publisher cuz that's a thing he does but it's all experimental stuff and i can't recall the imprint, talked about how he needed blixa to make him really special, which is true i think. i got to talk about rowland s howard a little. we went on, talked about silly music stuff, they showed up later though.,.. eventually we talked a little about dennis cooper, how he once helped a good friend of mine and how touching that is to me. he was like, i saw him getting interviewed back in nyc, he is a nice guy. and i was like, it's shocking to me, that he's out here, reachable i guess, i'm so used to it feeling so far away. he didn't say much to that. the owner asked if i'm a musician, it's strange how he guessed that, or i don't know, is it obvious? maybe my hair. i don't know, i talked about making music where i scream and stuff. they were chuffed it seemed. i didn't tell them who i was, or show them anything... why would i... it'd be so impolite right? the owner told me i should go to new york, i have the vibe. but my gf was like, i told her we can't, and we can't... all the people in new york seem to do anymore is post on twitter. but i also guess the people who don't do that do real things, but like, you know.

the owner talked about seeing naked city with just zorn and mike patton performing, a crazy show it sounded like, zorn going off on sax and patton just screaming and vocalizing. that's such a crazy thing to me to get to see... they're really cool, basically, the people i've met tonight, or these guys, i'm sure i'll never speak to them again.

and i loved seeing my other friends... but the person in the photo, he just drove some of us, or maybe just mostly my other friend and i insane... i can't go into all of it, he's like, okay, he's okay to talk about music w/ it's fun and i like chatting about new stuff i like and getting ribbed about being too into the hellp. but it's just, he was going crazy the whole time, being weird, he kept getting more violent as the night went on, tweaking kinda, and then, started hitting the table and stuff, no one really noticed, just, going crazy crazy, scary to watch and things and he'd make all these faces and try to laugh it all off even though it isn't something you can laugh off. he made my friend feel so bad, they dated briefly, it ended quickly, she still finds him so cute, and he's so pathetic you want to befriend him and help him not be what he is , what he is being miserable and fucked up about everything and just trying to make something happen and failing... detransitioning and becoming a fucking bus driver in colorado, not like i look down on that as much as i feel like it fucks me up how much a vision it is of some you know, ideal, he kept talking about how trying to be an actual blue collar worker is harrowing, and like, no shit poverty is fucking harrowing. but he saw gummo and it's like the first true film he got to experience, idk if there was any stuff that means nothing to him prior or if he liked stuff kids like and ignores that, either way, the owners of the bookstore showed it to him, and they love him, and it's just intense and difficult i dunno.

as the night went on, he kept saying like, let's go there, let's go there, jokingly because he really seemed pained by it and told me something like, it's starting to feel really bad now. and he grimaced like his arm was under a hydraulic press. and i wanted to help him, and i felt so guilty, like it was my fault, i kept saying i'm sorry, i know i joke a lot, but i mean it, sorry you feel bad, i'm not like making fun of you i just like joking around (i asked if he smoked a certain way because of the guy from autechre smoking that way sometimes, and making a silly joke about how autechre sound), i know some people have the impression i mock them, but i'm really not, or something like that. he just stared like i was the one going crazy. he kept saying let's go to oddfellows, he like, then told my friend who did wanna go to hang out with him more, his uber's on his way, barely said bye to her and refused to say bye to me it seemed like, and went off.

she ended up calling my gf crying, miserable because of him. she feels so awful. he's so stupid, such a bad person basically. and i know it... he like dated one of my friend's besties, too. she's in la!!! he just gets around, all over, torturing women.

so, yeah, that's like... it.

listening to this a lot, feeling crazy. this album is great... the hellp, i am certain have hurt women though. i feel fucked up about everything. i dunno. i'm just stupid. i'm stupid and ugly and unhappy i feel bad for all these dipshits in the world. why do i know multiple people who go to the midwest because of fucked up fantasies of being "real"????? it's torturous. the fantasy of blue collar reality, poverty romanticism, being 'base' in some way i guess. and it always fucking has something to do with harmony korine who is definitely a hack now even if i do love that film, gummo... fuck this stupid planet. why are there beautiful and kind people and this wide a range, it's torturous to me. it's just one silly night, not even bad. i ate like a stupid fat pig for free and i even had a shirley temple... wow whoa... whatever...

i wanna throw myself away, i feel like if i were meaner, fewer people would be miserable and stuff. maybe. i don't know. maybe i was really mean and i should have been nicer or something. i'm just crazy. i hate that people can destroy other's self esteem so easily, and that they either don't realize how fragile that is, or they do it intentionally. why would he hurt her so much by being a prick like that, not even saying bye gracefully? not even making an excuse about losing her number, or... deleting it at all. i hope they don't ever see eachother again.

guhhh, i don't know. there's so much wrong with the way people turn to reaction, i hate that i witness it so much. or reveal their reactionary tendencies. it's just terrifying.

there's nothing i can do i just hafta sleep to feel normal in the morning. and then i go nowhere tomorrow. i can cook, i can draw my silly fan art, or other stuff. i wrote a little tonight cuz of this too at least. that's nice.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dolliebabydoll15]

You Belong With Me: A Roudise Fanfic

decided to write a roudise fanfic with T.S references from her song, "you belong with me" bc it fits them sooo well. <3 where all my swifties and bob's burgers fans at? 🫶🍔

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Louise was groaning with impatience.

It was the last 10 minutes of class, and Rudy still hadn't come. Where had he been? Did he have an asthma attack? Did he get lost? No, no, that's not right. He always knew his way around. The whole class did not twitch, not even Ms. Labonz. Just then, there was a knock at the door. Ms. Labonz opened it, and in came Rudy, not looking very happy.

"Rudy, where have you been? You're late." asked Ms. Labonz.

But he was far to upset to respond. He plopped his things down on the neighboring desk to the left of Louise.

"...stupid Chloe Barbash..." "...who does she think she is?..." "...can't even *wheeze* take a joke." he muttered aggravatingly.

Louise was shocked. She didn't usually see her pal outside of his happy-go-lucky self (well, unlike that one time he asked her to leave after she called him a weenie). She quickly grabbed an index card that was supposed to be for Ms. Labonz's assignment, and quickly wrote down a brief sentence, and passed it to Rudy. Even though Louise knew she couldn't pass notes, now didn't seem like the time for rules.

"you okay rudy-rudes?" the note read.

Rudy immediately wrote back and passed it.

"tired of drama."

the conversation on paper went on for a few more minutes.

"sorry :( what happened?"

"chloe wanted me to ditch class with her so we could hang out together. we were having so much fun, and i made a joke asking her if anyone ever told her if she looked like a female rupert grint from that one wizard movie. she got all mad and decided to go off about what i said. i didn't like it at all. but hey, she'll cool down eventually. i guess i was probably overreacting.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HER! YOU'RE RIGHT, WHO DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?"

"eh, i'll be okay, louise. if i'm being honest, chloe will definitely go back to being the nice girl she is."

Nice? Please. Chloe Barbash was far from nice. Louise had no idea why Rudy still liked her. Chloe didn't get Rudy's humor the way she did. Plus, she never even bothered to give Rudy his first kiss. Like, come on, where was the credit? For some reason, Louise didn't know how it happened, but something gave her the nerve to write, "i love you." on another index card. She was about to pass it when the bell rang. Louise turned sideways to pass the note, but Rudy was gone. Suddenly, a wave of disgust ran over her.

"SICK! Oh man, Louise Belcher, you are SICK! WHY were you about to do that?!" she thought.

~~~~

Later that typical Tuesday night, Louise began to listen to the kind of music Chloe didn't like to let out her anger over her with the cassette she had stolen from Tina's room.

🎶"I-I will keep your secrets, I'm so interested in youu..." 🎶

Ugh. Boo Boo. The one person who could comfort her during these drastic times. Although Chloe Barbash was a big fan of Boyz4Now as well, this was the one song she hated the most. Louise was still stunned after hearing what she said to Rudy.

"Why can't he just get over her? Why can't he just...no, no, NO WAY! Too cliche for me."

Louise scoffed to herself as she thought of that. But really, there's no way she could like-like him. Chloe wore short skirts, and Louise wore T-shirts. Chloe was cheer captain, and Louise was on the bleachers. What had she got to offer him anyway? She wasn't really that special. Ugh, no, it was fine. Louise had better things to focus on anyway. Still, at the same time, she was dreaming about the day Rudy would wake up and find that what he was looking for had been here the whole time.

"If only he could see that I'm the one who understands him, and that I've been here all along too! So why can't he see that he belongs with me?"

~8 Years Later~

"...calculus? More like 'crap-ulus'." Rudy joked.

Louise threw her head back in laughter, knowing she hadn't laughed like that in a long time. High school had been hard lately, and she couldn't veer away from the stress. As she walked in the streets with Rudy and his worn-out-jeans, she couldn't help thinking this was how it ought to be. They sat down on a park bench, with Louise thinking to herself,

"Hey, isn't this easy? We're just two friends on a pleasant day, nothing more..."

As Louise looked at her best friend as they talked, she couldn't help but notice that he has a smile that could light up the whole town, even brighter than the Wonder Wharf could. She hadn't seen it since Chloe Barbash brought him down.

"...Chloe's been great too, even though she still gets mad at me if I don't call her back in 10 minutes instead of 15. You know, I sometimes wish she wasn't so mad all the time, but that's just Chloe. Gotta like her for who she is."

"You sure you're okay with this Rudes? I don't really think she's a good girlfriend, or a good person in general."

"I'm fine, Louise. You don't have to worry about me." Rudy replied, smiling. But it didn't really comfort Louise as much. She knew he was better than that. Hey, what's he doing with a girl like that anyway? All of a sudden, a pink convertible pulled up. Louise immediately recognized it as Chloe's.

"Rudyyy, get in Cutie-Bear! We're gonna be late for the party!" Chloe called in a fake sweet manner.

"Coming, babe!" Rudy shouted back. He turned to Louise and waved goodbye. As he got in the car, he and Chloe hugged affectionately, but as they did, Chloe looked over at Louise with a smug stare. Louise just blankly stared back, because at this point, she could do nothing about Rudy's obliviousness to how cold Chloe was. After all, Louise couldn't compete with her. Chloe wore high heels, and Louise wore sneakers. Chloe's status as the cheer captain was still going strong, and Louise still remained on the bleachers. She still dreamt about the day when Rudy wakes up and finds that what he's looking for had been here the whole time.

~~~~~

Louise was watching the near end of Rudy's football game. She snickered, watching him stumble one too many times. She remembered begging him not to join, because that sport required a lot of air, which didn't accommodate to his health. Rudy didn't care, as long as Chloe could cheer him on. Redirecting her thoughts to the football game, Rudy was surrounded by the enemy team. He tried to escape, but he ended up slipping and tossing the ball into the air. But that slip up resulted in his teammate catching it and making the final touchdown. The whole school cheered, especially the cheerleaders with their passionate spirit for the school. Rudy and his football team cheered, running toward the outlines of the field. As Rudy went to celebrate with his girlfriend, he spotted her flirting with another guy.

"Chloe...what are you doing? Why are you talking to him?"

Chloe glanced back at him in annoyance. "I can talk to whoever I want, Rudy. Stop being so dramatic."

"I'm not being dramatic if you're...I don't know, ALREADY DATING SOMEONE?" Rudy retorted.

Louise heard the whole conversation from above on the bleachers. She shook her head, seeing now that Chloe's showing her true colors. She couldn't imagine how it would go during junior prom, yet to come in 1 day.

~~~~

The next day, during the final class of the day, everyone was buzzing with excitement. Tonight was the night that all juniors had awaited. It was the night of the junior prom. Louise simply didn't see a care in that event, because, well, she just doesn't feel the need in dressing up. Without notice, Louise spotted Rudy pass a note from the corner of her eye.

"you going tonight?"

"no, studying."

"i wish you were though! parties aren't fun without you."

Louise smiled at him. Even though she wasn't going, at least Rudy would have fun.

~Later That Night~

Louise laid in her bed, thinking about how idiotic of her it was to not go. She really wasn't studying, it was just an excuse for her not to look at Rudy while he's with Chloe Barbash. It pained her far too much. She remembered that time he walked to her house in the middle of the night when he was unhappy about his parents' dinner. Louise was the one who made him laugh when he knew he was about to cry. She knew his favorite songs, and Rudy told her about his dreams. How long will it take him to know who he belongs with? She sighed, and picked up Kuchi Kopi. But just then, she noticed the index card beneath him. She picked it up, and saw the words from 8 years ago written on it.

"i love you."

Maybe it wasn't too late for him to know. Maybe this could be her chance. Louise opened her dresser and dug for a fancy piece of clothing to wear. After minutes of searching, she found a long sparkly lime-green dress that her sister, Tina, gave her for her 17th birthday. She hadn't intended on wearing it, but she wanted to make Tina happy, so instead, Louise shoved it in the far back of her drawer.

"Oh, Tina, you beautiful beast." she satisfyingly whispered underneath her breath.

~~~~

Rudy was waiting for Chloe to come back from hanging out with her friends, when he turned around and saw the most gorgeous girl in the whole world. Louise strode through the crowd in her best dress. Her dark, curled hair fell down to her hips, and donned a pink headband. Rudy stared at her in wonder. How could a girl look so beautiful in one moment? He was still in his euphoria, coming toward her, when Chloe returned, grabbing his arm.

"Hey, Rudy-Bear, don't you wanna come dance with me? I don't want you looking at her."

"Chloe, don't you call me that. You are one of the most heartless people I have ever been with. I can't do this anymore." He pushed her aside, and kept walking toward Louise.

"WHAT? Rudy, come back! PLEASE!"

It's go time, Louise. She pulled out the notecard, finally confessing her love from so many years.

"i love you."

Rudy stood there, blushing in his navy-blue tuxedo. He grabbed a notecard from his pocket, and it also said, "i love you." Louise was wonderstruck, not believing he felt the same way.

"Really? Y-you too?" she asked in surprise.

"Yeah. I've had feelings since 4th grade and...since forever." he chuckled.

"Even after all those things I did to you 8 years ago?"

"Of course. I know you still care."

Louise put her arms around his neck. Rudy was amazed.

"Is it happening? Is this really happening?"

"Yep...it took you long enough anyway."

Rudy rolled his eyes and laughed. Then, they both leaned in for a perfect kiss, just as overwhelming and delightful as their first. This time, they both were well aware of each other's love, no one else in the way. He finally belonged with her, and she belonged with him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~OKAY...this has got to be one of the most romantic fics i've ever written. AND IT'S ONLY MY 3RD 😭 i'm a roudise geek, and "you belong with me" basically screamed louise and rudy. i suggest you look at taylor swift's songs every once in a while, i think they make up for a good listen! <3 btw, if anyone wants to create some art out of this fic, please do! tag me, bc i'd love to see it 💕

[castlebyersafterdark]

omegaverse stuff really intrigues me cos i've tried it and sometimes it's hot, but usually its the parts that are very similar to regular nsfw sex fic. the animalistic parts i can't get on board with, my personal feeling is that it veers too close to bestiality lmao. not to shame anyone who might like that, but for me it's an issue i can't condone, i mean, there's to be so many health risks (which is the origin of disgust/revulsion as an emotion), not to mention lack of consent, and the intellectual/emotional turn on is absent? for example, i can see that taboo fic like underage/teacher-student can be hot because of power dynamics and human connection that transcends age etc. it's very emotional and intelligence-based sexuality. but unless people literally feel they have an emotional connection with some sort of animal, then omegaverse/bestiality is mainly very much animalistic and physical, and im sorry i just can't find animals having sex/the way animals have sex to be sexy haha.

its an odd one though because mainstream movies like avatar and the shape of water also play with human/non-human, and so maybe it all depends on the tone? like, if the non-human is not of this planet, it's fantastical and distance enough to be ok? or if they're humanoid enough? but omegaverse really takes from earth-based animals.

im sure people will argue that fantasy and fic isnt the same as actually doing, but the whole point of fantasy is that it's still connected to an idea that turns you on and MAY well turn you on in real life too. so it's too far for me, but i like the aspects you said, like scent and possessiveness, which can be human. i usually hate possessiveness and jealousy in real life relationships as it feels smothering, but i am learning to appreciate some well-placed jealousy through reading sexy fic! the byler fandom says: jealous mike is funny and jealous will is sad. i would love to read a jealous mike fic that is sad. let the twinky boi be sad too! he's not just comic relief to me <3

I'd love to read more breakdowns on the details as to what people who really love omegaverse specifically love about it - I am as neutral as possible on the topic. Truly a supportive cheerleader on the kink exploration and subfandom of it all. I never really personally viewed it as bestiality coded? Seems almost like it's own thing with the biology and instinctual things, but I can see where the animal view point comes from, but I guess I never view it like that because it seems far removed from any actual animal reality. Isn't most that people assume about wolf "culture" and dynamics incredibly inaccurate? And even so, I don't really view anything with animal-human hybrid characteristics as bestiality, because they're still human after all. Even anthropomorphized, it's just different body types with human society superseded, with intelligence and human brains. But to each their own!! If it doesn't click with you, then it doesn't! It's divisive, that's for sure. I just have a soft spot for it for some reason even if it's not my thing?? I can't really explain it other than a fascination and thinking it's cool that fandom itself made it all up.

And the jealousy angle - yet another thing that in real life isn't so great, I mean, a little jealousy is normal but the thing about fiction is that you can take everything you want to explore and exaggerate it as much as possible because it's fake and safe. But I agree, I love angst of all types for Mike. Maybe it's because in canon Will's sexuality is still hidden and even in an AU it's common to continue with that, so he's less likely to have the OC-love interest for Mike to be jealous of? And if Mike gets a new love interest, it's the dual shock of him liking men while being with someone who's still not Will, so the angst just increases. Much thematically rarer to have a scenario for a jealous angsty Mike, so it's less common.

[practically-an-x-man]

asking almost the whole rainbow lol 🧡💛💚💙💜🤍🖤

Thank you!! I think I'm gonna go with wider DC for this one, since I know we're both fairly familiar with that

Ask Game: Unpopular Opinions Edition

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

I've seen all kinds of theories about the multiverse and how Folie à Deux is going to connect back to the Flash and Justice League and whatever else, and I just... no? I get that the new Flash movie plays with the multiverse, but that doesn't mean everything connects back into the multiverse. They can just exist as separate movies.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can't get behind, and why?

Okay, this is going to take some explaining but... Joker x Harley Quinn. Yes it is canon, but I've never even seen that as a romance in canon - to me the Joker just serves as a tool for Harley to discover herself as a character, not to mention that it's flagrantly abusive and it's a huge part of her story to get away from him and build her own life. It makes my skin crawl in canon, and I'm honestly shocked that it's one of the biggest ships for Harley on AO3 (fewer than her with Ivy, but still several thousand works).

I guess it's less the question of why it's a ship, since it is canon, and more the question of why it's so popular.

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

Oh man, that requires me to pick a favorite character first... you might get a few different answers here

For Harley, people tend to forget that she has a freaking PhD. She's goofy and bubbly but she's smart, and I've read way too many fics where they just make her into the airhead blonde trope.

Actually, no, that's a consistent problem. This is true of a lot of fandoms I think, but people tend to dumb down the characters so much without even seeming to realize it, and it annoys me. And I don't even think that it's people struggling to know how to write a smart character, I think it's more that they don't recognize intelligence when it's not equated with academics. Like... Rick Flag is an incredibly competent fighter and gunman, and a strong leader - that takes intellect, but people miss it because of how goofy it is to wrangle the Squad. Abner strikes me as a very academic guy, the sort who probably dove into books as an escape and picked up a lot of random knowledge because of that, but people miss it because he's quiet and nihilistic and all that.

I just... we see the stupid members of the Suicide Squad. They die literally immediately. The others survive (for the most part) because they have enough intellect to know how to choose their battles, to know their own strengths, to react to the situation, etc.. But people see a bunch of goofy superheroes and assume they all have to be dumb as rocks unless their abilities are overtly skill-based (like Deadshot)

💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think?

I know I'm piggybacking off your answer but... Peacemaker. He was set up as the hot guy character in the Suicide Squad, he even got his own spinoff in lieu of any of the other characters, but I just don't get the hype. He just annoys me.

💜: Which character is way hotter than everyone else seems to think?

There is pitifully little love for my girl Cleo, I'm just saying. Also, Sasha Calle's Supergirl literally took my breath away when I first saw her, and she was the one redeeming quality of that terrible Flash movie imo

🤍: Which character is not as morally bad as everyone else seems to think?

Okay, this is going to seem contradictory because I still don't like him as a character, but objectively... Peacemaker. He's a dick, but the spinoff show does show him 1. ugly-crying with guilt over killing Flag and 2. blatantly disgusted at Adrian's casual lack of morality so... I hate him, he's a dick, he annoys the hell out of me, but objectively he has more morals than people see in just the movie.

[https-chaos]

I just got into a huge fight with my mom because she's pushing the hell out of me to bring her to pride and there are so many reasons I will not be doing that but it really boils down to 4 things:

1. Pride isn't safe this year. It's an anti-cop protest at its core, and it's in a big city in a year where there's a lot of hate and violence against the queer community. Not only do I not want my family to be unsafe in the case of violence from extremists or police, but I don't think people who don't believe in ACAB should go to an anti-police protest. She has a few local cop friends and genuinely believes all police want is to help people because those 3 small town cops in their 50s don't seem THAT racist or homophobic.

2. She makes a lot of lowkey homophobic comments along the lines of "I don't hate gay people at all, I just don't want to see them kiss. But I don't want to see straight people kiss either!" But she only brings it up when she sees a gay couple kiss. Never when there's a 3 minute straight sex scene in a movie, only when there's a 30 second gay kiss. She has also told me about a hundred times that she "could see me marrying a man one day" because she thinks if I find a feminine enough man I'll stop being a lesbian. Specifically I believe her ideal situation for me would be a lavender marriage with a gay man. You know, like it's the 60s? She also has an incredibly childish outlook on life and often quotes Horton hears a who and says "a person is a person" but her actions don't back up that innocent facade at all.

3. I don't think she would be able to keep her mouth shut about the kink, leather, men in thongs, people kissing and groping, people on leashes, people in fur suits, etc. When I brought this up she literally said it was just like Mardi Gras; she doesn't approve of people taking their shirts off and she thinks anyone who does anything she considers 'weird' is asking to be gawked at. She said if she saw a man in a thong she would go 😧, like she made that exact face. When I told her she can't do that because if a man wears a thong to pride he's looking for attention from other gay men, not shock from 55 year old straight women, she said I was too naive to understand. I told her that not only can she not make a face, a side eye, or a comment to anything she sees at pride, but that she also couldn't talk about it on the way home, at home, or ever. If you go to pride you know what you're gonna see and I don't wanna hear her disgust.

4. Even if she could keep her mouth shut about the kink, and she for some reason wanted to go somewhere that would make her uncomfortable on purpose, I don't understand why she would want to go with me when I was very clear that I will be talking to women, going to a lesbian bar after, and might even (gasp) kiss someone I don't know. I told her she wouldn't have taken my grandma to a bar while she looked for a boyfriend, because having your mother with you is kind of a deterrent to talking to people your own age. By my age she was married with a kid. I have no local friends, at all, and I would like to change that at pride. Going to the parade, standing silently to watch with my mom, not acting proud at all for fear of being shamed by her, and then immediately going home isn't going to help me make queer friends.

I guess I don't really have a specific point to all of this, I'm just so confused about why she is so desperate for me to never be in a situation where I might make a friend or even meet someone I could love. I live in her house. She sees how desperately lonely I am. She sees how badly I want to have a friend, or a girlfriend, or literally anyone except her and my sister and my dad. I don't understand why she takes every opportunity to preach her weird childish nonsense. Everyone should just hold hands and love each other, love is love, a person's a person, but please don't talk about politics or anything scary or negative because she can't take it. I don't understand her aversion to pda and I don't understand why she feels the need to pester me about it. I don't understand what she doesn't understand about the fact that I grew up terrified to tell her anything, to the point where she thinks I had an incredibly happy childhood. I can't afford to leave this house, and how does she not realize that if she had given me the support I needed in school and allowed me to be medicated maybe I could have gone to college and made something of myself? How does she think none of this is her fault? I'm going to be 27 in a couple days and between her and the man that beat my confidence into the ground for the last five years, I'm almost too traumatized to even leave the house. I don't know what to tell her that'll get it into her head that her barely adequate tolerance of my lesbianism doesn't automatically mean I want her at pride.

[misspoetree]

Tagged by @majestictortoise - thank you, what a pleasant surprise! 😊

Last song I listened to: Everything Black by Unlike Pluto; because I got annoyed by something and needed a quick little dance break in the bathroom to cleanse myself from negative feelings. And the beat drop in that song served me well. (Fun Fact: I discovered this song through a random Lee Soo-hyuk / Park Joong-gil edit YouTube recommended to me. And now I feel like I must rewatch all of his Tomorrow scenes. Fuck, this man is fine. 😫)

Three ships: Well, the Jolly Roger - NO, I'm not going to steal that joke. (Even though that specific ship "has sailed and there's a pirate on it". Man... I haven't had OUAT and Captain Swan on my mind in like 5 years. RIP to the person I was, lol.)

I'm legally obliged to say VegasPete because they irreversibly changed my brain chemistry. I haven't had a peaceful day since June 18th 2022.

The second one is WangXian. The Chinese sword gays*TM are the reason why I'm in this Asian BL mess in the first place. I watched the opening scene of The Untamed in April 2020, heard Wei Wuxian say "Lan Zhan" while hanging from that cliff and my brain went WHELP THAT'S IT. THAT'S OUR LIFE NOW. And the rest is history. 🤡

But I feel like these are quite obvious (and so are my other main ships) - so let's make it interesting with the third one: Geraskier. Not the Netflix version of them (DEAR GOD), not the book version of them (infinitely better though) but my personal AO3 version of them that's composed out of the few hundred hurt/comfort fics I read through the whole of 2021. These h/c fics were my number one coping mechanism through that particular year. They still are, in a way. It's always hurt the bard o'clock somewhere, I guess.

Currently reading: I'm about to start a new book but I can't decide which one to choose out of my art installation of unread books. Probably A Gathering of Shadows by V. E. Schwab. I really enjoyed the first novel of the Shades of Magic Series. Yesterday I re-read Quiet by didoandis on AO3, a Geraskier fanfic I like. And I really need to read fuck it all back down by syzygetic because people just keep recommending that one to me. 👀

Most recent movie I watched: Men by Alex Garland. I was quite intrigued by the setting and the atmosphere and the feeling of danger - in the first half. And then they fucking lost me. I was more or less...laughing? through the last 15 minutes. Because what was that, my dude. You can push weird, shocking, and disgusting stuff only so far until it gets boring. Even if it is supposed to be full of meaning, an abstract representation of the greater issue at play. Watching an infinity loop of bastardised mpreg! fanfics come to live just didn't do it for me, I'm sorry.

Craving: A piece of the Pumpkin Spice Loaf Cake from Starbucks and a glass of La Cidraie. I'm craving the inner peace I felt the last time I had that.

I'm tagging @scarefox @a-cookie2121 @hedgewyse @chalkrevelations and @thoresque if you guys didn't do that one yet (and as always no pressure 🤗).

[mi4012ayodyarajakaruna]

03/05/24

"Seven"

So today, we watched the movie "Se7en" in the class.

This is my first time watching a crime thriller movie. Although I listen to true crime podcasts, I never watch crime movies because I know my overly emotional self cannot handle that. Well, I was right because I could not handle or even process what happened throughout this movie. In the beginning, I was excited.... Oh, little did I know the context of the movie. I was utterly shocked and I am really sorry to say this but I was disgusted with some scenes in the movie. But amidst all the chaos in my mind, when Tracy met Somerset and said she was pregnant and she was scared, I knew Tracy is not going to make it alive, and GUESS WHAT??!!! I WAS RIGHT. The movie overall was traumatic and emotional because I lost it when Detective Mills started crying in the end (well it was BRAD PITT crying !!!!). I couldn't even speak for like 20 minutes after finishing watching the movie. It was a really good movie but I can't bring myself to rewatch it. It's just that since I am not used to watching crime movies, it was too much to process.

So, I did a little background check about the movie after watching

Setting -

The film takes place in a nameless, perpetually gloomy city. This urban spawl is depicted as a grimy, crime-ridden place, reflecting the overall bleak atmosphere.

Characters -

William Somerset : A veteran detective nearing retirement. He is a world-weary and jaded by the constant violence he's witnessed.

David Mills : A young, hot-headed detective recently transferred to the city. He is idealistic and clashes with Somerset's cynicism.

John Doe : The enigmatic serial killer, who taunts the detective with elaborate crime scenes linked to the seven deadly sins (Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Lust, Envy, and Pride).

Plot -

As Mills and Somerset delve deeper into the investigation, they discover the killer, John Doe, orchestrates gruesome murders that embody each sin. The film explores the psychological toll the case takes on both detectives, especially impulsive Mills.

Theme -

Se7en goes beyond just hunting a serial killer. It really gets into some deep stuff, like the struggle between good and evil, how sin is everywhere, and how living in a morally grey world effect us.

Style -

The director David Fincher knows how to make a movie that catches the watcher's eye. The way he uses darkness, rain, and those chilly blue and green colors really amps up the tension in the film. The camera work is so tight and intense.

Legacy -

Se7en is still considered a neo-noir masterpiece. I think people love it for its gripping plot, deep themes, and unforgettable ending that keeps people talking.

David Fincher

David Fincher, the creator of the chilling atmosphere in Se7en, is a director who has established himself in the genre of neo-noir and psychological thrillers. Before entering the world of cinema, Fincher honed his skills in music videos and commercials. this early experience instilled in him a mastery of visual storytelling and the ability to create a specific mood through his use of imagery.

Fincher is a meticulous director, known for his perfectionism. He does not shy away from multiple takes and intricate camera work to achieve his vision. The meticulousness is evident in the final product. His films are recognized for their captivating visuals. Fincher isn't one for bright and cheery. Instead, he uses lighting, color palettes, and camera angles to evoke a sense of unease and tension throughout the narrative.

Thematic exploration in another characteristic of Fincher's work. He is drawn to psychological thrillers and neo-noir stories, where he can delve into the complexities of human nature. Morality, obsession, and the darkness that lurks beneath the surface are recurring themes in his films.

Se7en was not only a critically acclaimed film, it was a turning point that solidified Fincher's reputation as a master of suspense. The success of Se7en opened doors for him to direct other critically acclaimed movies that reflect his signature style. Films like "Fight Club", " The Social Network", and "Gone Girl" all demonstrate Fincher's ability to create visually stunning narratives that grapple with complex themes.

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Ok, so, here's a list of what I thought of it:

The tension is great! All those scenes where the camera wanders around the house and you can't tell if you're gonna see Billy or not, if it's time for another attack or if everything is gonna be quiet for a while... I'm thinking especially at one specific moment when the last two girls are talking in the living room (Jess is at the phone with the police officer) and there's a shadow moving on the walls behind them and it leaves you unsure enough to know if it was their shadow or Billy's from the second floor.

There were some horror cliché that slightly bothered me, but I guess they weren't cliché in the seventies? (i.e. "I see a man behind the curtains so I'm going to move them instead of run away")

The dismissal from the police officer (not the lieutenant, the lower ranking one) is pretty on point as an (maybe?) example of women being harassed/not feeling safe and the response of institutions. I know it's framed like one bad stupid apple, but I guess that something is better than nothing

The lack of poc was the other horror of this movie. Oh right, I've seen two black walk-ons, how could I forget! -_-

I'm happy the anti abortion guy was killed. Needless to say, if he were a real person I wouldn't, but it's a movie so it's okay! And on that note...

The liberated woman (the movie came out in 1974, so arguably during the second wave of feminism) who has ambitions and dreams kills the man who refuses her choice of abortion and wants her to get married because of an unwanted pregnancy. (I would like to say more about the stance the film takes on the right to choose abortion, but I'm not very familiar with the history feminist milestones in Canada)

Billy's phonecalls are really fucking disgusting and/or horrifying. I'm happy there was a girl who answered back with insults. But still, I just need to think to be in a similar situation to get goosebumps. Ew.

The (allegedly) virgin dies first, the final girl is the one we know for sure is sexually active and doesn't want a child. I guess reversing it's genre (slasher) is part of making this movie great.

Also, I liked the two perspectives of the first who dies: she has the reputation of being a good girl (potentially a bit upright) in the sorority, while her father is shocked from the lifestyle she was having.

I'm still not sure what to make of Billy. Something happened to him and his... Sister? Which is also the baby? Why is he there? Is he trying to recreate the circumstances that traumatized him or does he just want to scare and kill the girls? And, is it really important to understand or he can just be a catalyst for the story?

I didn't like the way mental health issues are discussed: the big one is Billy, which I'm a bit more lenient about, even though I'm tired of the "mentally ill" monster in horror, because it was possibly still not that much of a trope? Maybe? I hope so. (Please, please, just show me one movie where the DID system is not portrayed as dangerous!) The other one that got me furious was the mention of the anti abortion guy potentially being neurotic. No, man, he's just an asshole. Mental health is still a frame heavily used to talk about abusive relationships and men who kill their (ex)partners, at least where I live, but the thing is, only blaming "craziness" when the problem is cultural and societal is just easy; it doesn't solve anything. Anyway, the lieutenant (the voice of reason, the helper, the one who listens to the girls) insinuates he's not in the right place of mind and yeah, non kidding, but not because he has a weak personality or whatever, but because he thinks it's okay to decide someone's life.

The unicorn girl. Just chef's kiss. Same for her killing scene, which can be read in two ways (imo) based purely by an extremely quick search about unicorn symbology. First one, she's the wild, unholy, stained, who gets cleaned by the unicorn symbol of purity (all the while the carols reinforce the scene). But this is a bit boring to me, I like the other interpretation more: the unicorn can also symbolise evasive wildness (it was thought mostly unapproachable except from virgins) and unicorn girl is the unicorn. She's always on the defensive, has no partner (I think?), plays games and doesn't know when to stop. She's actually the pure wilderness corrupted by men's violence (maybe there's something about the phallic metaphor of the glass unicorn's horn, maybe I'm reading too much in it) and the carols are singing her loss of purity.

I didn't understand the mother figure. I understand her symbolically, she's free, she takes care of the girls, she protects them, but she's not trying to keep them from having fun. She's not the classic mother figure (the one that the father was probably expecting) and she possibly believes she's lacking in that area, but it's what the girls seem to need. What I don't understand is her comical alcoholism. It's weird.

I liked the ending, I didn't know we wouldn't capture Billy. If we look at the movie with the lens of the liberated women hunted down by a man (who might represent patriarchal values, especially for Jess) they are decimated but they survive with their only strength. Problem is, it's not finished: there's no time to rest, the survivor still has to fight.

I think there's possibly something more to say about it, but I feel this is enough.

Black Christmas (1974) fucking slaps