whatifweallweresquirrels

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

never ask a woman her age a man his salary your mutual how late it is in her timezone when she starts posting about that bisexual man

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

trauma dumpling

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

idk if unalive has ever helped anyone not get banned from any website but it is impossible for me to separate it from deadpool in that one episode of that one animated spiderman show

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

In case you need it for your D&D games or siege actions— here's what the ballistic trajectory of a flaming pumpkin fired out of a trebuchet looks like.

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

actually now i’m curious

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

suck, and i cannot stress this enough, my cock to the fucking base

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

i can’t remember what six year old me was wishing for throwing coins in the fountain and blowing on dandelions but i hope the person i am today was at least one of them

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

text from my mom

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Reading articles about MrBeast's dominance of YouTube is fucking bizarre because, from my perspective, the dude isn't even on YouTube. I've never watched one of his videos. YouTube has, to the best of my knowledge, never recommended one of his videos to me. Every thumbnail screenshot of his looks like something you could tell me was a photoshopped parody of YouTube culture, and I'd believe you. No one I follow on YouTube ever mentions him, even negatively or in passing. The first time I ever heard his name was in regards to the quality of his ghost kitchens. The only way I know he isn't a mass, shared hallucination is that I've witnessed the thoroughly mid-looking chocolate bars he sells at Walmart for some reason

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Me analysing Good Omens: let me talk about this silly goofy show about some silly little guys :D

Also me analysing Good Omens: now it's important to acknowledge the consequences of abuse and religious trauma-

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Waiting for his turn

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

[whatifweallweresquirrels]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[whatifweallweresquirrels]