#I guess that’s a good thing to know going from now on
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mattybsgroupie · 2 days ago
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milk ♡ matt sturniolo
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— CONTENTS: established relationship; nipple play/boob sucking; mommy kink; BREASTFEEDING kink; pregnant!reader; sub!matt
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— NOTES: this was highly requested and im ngl, it’s definitely one of my favorite kinks! however, i know it’s still a taboo so please if you don’t like it, DON’T READ IT. i might get criticized a lot for writing this, but remember this is fanfiction. it’s a fetish, a fantasy. none of this is real. it’s just a story — and i hope you enjoy it as much as i did! ♡ but if i get cancelled im gonna deactivate and you’ll never see me again! mwah!
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“you are so pretty” matt said as he plopped down next to you, snuggling closer. “you’re glowing, seriously. you look amazing” he complimented you as he caressed your face with his thumb, the coarse skin of his fingertips rubbing against your soft cheeks.
matt always dreamed of being a father. when he first heard the news, he fell down to his knees. he immediately wrapped his arms around your hips, nuzzling his face on your tummy before kissing it over and over again, whispering a bunch of thank yous. although matt was filled with joy, he couldn’t help himself. he had his hands all over you — he would even lift your belly so your back would stop hurting. matt was simply mesmerized by the sight of you carrying his babies.
his hands travelled down your body, stopping by your round, prominent tummy. matt was gentler now that the girls had started kicking, as if they could actually feel his touch. the only thing he wouldn’t go easy on were your tits — he never did. right now, matt found himself squeezed between your spreaded legs, trying hard to hold his weight up so he wouldn’t hurt you, both knees against the soft cushioned sofa. his left palm had quickly moved to your chest while he kissed your neck, nibbling your sensitive skin between his teeth. 
“matt… don’t squeeze them too hard” you sighed when matt increased the pressure of the massage. he hesitated for a second, removing his hand and pulling away from your skin. matt’s baby blue orbs flickered between your lips and your breasts, “did it work?!”
you chuckled at his eagerness, adjusting your back on the couch and allowing him to lay by your side. “better than i had expected” you said, taking the strap of your nightgown in between your fingers, teasing him. “turns out i don’t really have to pump that much because it started flowing pretty easily, so i guess it’s gonna come out with some suction”
matt’s usually determined, dominant gaze altered to a soft, mesmerized one. he couldn’t really find the words, choosing instead to smash his lips against yours in a deep, wet kiss. a moan escaped from the back of your throat as you felt matt’s boner poking against your thigh, him biting your lower lip before opening a satisfied grin. “i really fucked a baby inside you didn’t i?” he spoke, more to himself than to you. he was so proud of his own accomplishment, and he needed to hear it from you. “i love you so much, my beautiful, beautiful wife”
“all yours” you whispered, sealing your lips together on a quick pack. matt’s touches were soft again, his index motioning in circles against your hardened nipple through the fabric of your dress. “turned you into a real mama hm?” he said, trying to keep a tough-guy persona, but you knew this wouldn’t last long.
matt continued speaking to himself, admiring your figure. “making milk and everything” he mumbled under his breath, fully squeezing your tit. 
“my mama” there it was. you smiled at him, ruffling his hair. “yeah? my good boy made me a true mama?” you continued to feel his hard-on pressing against you, his hips slightly moving. 
“i need it” matt’s parted lips begged as he felt his cock twitching inside his pants, puppy, pleading eyes making it harder for you to say no. “please, i need it so bad. please i’ve been a good boy” he continued. “i wanna taste you so bad, mama”
you unconsciously bit the flesh of your cheeks, trying to look unbothered. deep down, you wanted this just as much “go slow, prince”. as soon as you gave matt permission, he pulled your dress down, revealing your full, swollen breasts. they hurt often, even before you were pregnant, and matt always helped you to get rid of the soreness. he dragged his tongue on your boob, circling your nub with the wet muscle before latching his lips around your nipple. 
matt closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before sucking — just like he always did. after a few seconds, small droplets of milk landed against his tongue, the surprisingly mild taste taking over his mouth, brain and body. matt pulled away for a second, letting your tit hang loose “you…” he babbled, swallowing the liquid. once again, matt wasn’t able to form a proper sentence, getting distracted by the tiny strand of milk dripping from your nipples.
“fuck you’re leaking so much” matt mumbled, quickly latching on your chest. he wans’t gonna waste a drop. “nhng— ‘m gon’ have to take care of this while” matt spoke as he tried to swallow the sudden spurts of milk coming. “while our babies don’t come huh?” 
“gonna have to keep your mouth in my boobs all day aren’t you?” you cooed, causing matt to nod desperately. his grip and suction got faster, followed by the sudden rutting of his crotch against your bare thigh. matt was far gone now, mindlessly humping, trying to reach his high. you could be mean and make him stop — but the poor boy was enjoying it so much. it really felt like his first time all over again, the desperation, the neediness, the loud, wet noises filling the room. 
“seems like you’re the one behaving like a baby now” you said, gently pulling his hair so he’d look at you. “having my milkies and cumming inside your pants? little virgin boys do that” matt groaned at the humiliation, the sweet, warm tone of your voice making it even harder for him to hold back. “mama— please” he managed to speak. “not… not a baby!”
“oh? aren’t you?” you continued the teasing, “then i guess you don’t need this am i right?” you grabbed your own tit, pulling it away from matt.
“no! i do! i need it so bad mama, please let me cum… wan’ be your good boy” matt pouted, begging to keep sucking. “that’s what i thought” you said, letting go of his hair. “be a good boy and cum in your pants for me”.
matt suckled harder than he ever did, trying to get out everything he could. actually, he was probably trying to milk you dry, just so that your tits would need his mouth again. his body tensed before he bucked his hips forward, a sudden warm taking over his boxer as the thick, sticky spurt came out of his slit, filling his underwear with cum.
matt stopped and sighed deeply, letting his body fall flat next to you. “you ruined my dress” you teased, looking at the milk stains on the fabric. “i’ll do the laundry anyways” he chuckled, still coming back from his high. “buy more. i’m gonna ruin all of them”. 
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— not using the actual taglist cause i know this is for an specific audience lmfao ♡⊹𑄽୧ @submattenthusiast @cayleeuhithinknott @sturnslutz @ivammbb
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matt masterlist | complete masterlist
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reignpage · 2 days ago
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Movie Night
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Summary: in which alien!reader asks Gojo to teach her a little something Word Count: 1.8k Warnings: smut, not proofread
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Day 7
“What’s wrong, E?”
All fresh from a shower, you and Satoru are sitting in the sofa, watching a movie. He’s finally bought you your own clothes and you’re dressed in a warm jumper and cosy pants. Satoru won’t lie; he’s grieving the pleasure of seeing you drown in his clothes. But you were ecstatic at the sight of the space themed pjs and so he was left with nothing to do but he happy. 
Wrapped under a thick blanket, you’re huddled by his side, clutching his shirt. As with every movie, every night, you ask questions, and he answers as best as he can. He’s insanely grateful that you can understand him when he explains things like what a car is (a moving vehicle) or who Gordon Ramsey is (a famous chef known for being very wrinkly and very angry). It seems that your biggest issue, however, is stringing a full sentence together. 
You’ve been getting much better, accelerating at a rate no human could manage. It’s both impressive and terrifying. 
Right now, you’re tilting your head at a particular scene. Satoru forgot the plot of the money and he really regrets not keeping an eye out for the age rating, because on the screen plays a steamy, kiss scene. 
In fact, ‘kiss’ isn’t even the right word; they’re making out. 
How you both managed to last a week of doing nothing but watch movies without coming across a kiss scene he’ll never know. But the moment’s finally arrived and he is not any more prepared than he was on the first night.
He winces at the sound lips smacking against each other, a blush on his cheeks. A kiss is nothing -- he’s done far more than that, and multiple times. But, for some reason, he’s feeling a little shy. It might have something to do with the fact that you’re staring up at him with your big, curious eyes. 
“What they doing?” You ask. 
Satoru gulps. He’s become painfully aware of how close you are — his arm is trapped between your breasts, just a thin layer separating him from your soft flesh, and, under the blanket, your leg is strung ever so slightly on his thigh. He can smell his shampoo emanating from you with something sweet coursing just under that masculine scent. 
Chuckling uncomfortably, he explains, “They’re kissing.”
“Why?”
He has half a mind to turn the TV off and declare an earlier bedtime, but you look so innocent he feels bad that he was thinking of something indecent. He’s your friend. He can’t prey on you and take advantage of your reliance on him. Plus, how would a kiss between two people from different intergalactic species even work?
Would it be the same? Or does it lead to pregnancy straight away? What if you lay eggs in his mouth? What if he lays eggs in your mouth?
Composing himself, he searches for the right words. “It’s something people do to express their love for each other, I guess. Well, not all the time, actually. Sometimes it’s just for pleasure.”
“Pleasure?”
Why, oh, why did you have to focus on that one word? 
And why on everything that is good in this world is this scene so long?
“It means to feel good.”
The hand clutching his shirt flattens out until it’s feeling the hard planes of his chest and absorbing the vibrations of his heartbeat. You drum your fingers at the same pace, smiling softly. The heat of your hand, of your entire body, is setting his skin alight. Suddenly, it’s too hot under the blanket, there isn’t enough room or air, and he needs to go but he can’t bear to. 
Batting your lashes, you inquire, “How to make pleasure, Toru? How kiss feel good?”
Brushing a lock of hair behind your ear, he corrects you, “It’s, ‘how does kissing make you feel good’, E. Try again for me?”
You taste the words, lips stretching to practice the movement before you parrot back perfectly, “Tell me how kissing makes you feel good, Toru.”
Oh, fuck. 
Why did he make you repeat it in perfect Japanese? Why did he have to use this very moment as a learning opportunity? 
Curse his perfect teaching instincts!
He’s about to shrug you off, using sleepiness as an excuse to retreat, but then you’re leaning even closer, licking your lips and eyeing his. Warmth is spreading through his body, circulating in one particular area and he’s hoping you don’t move your leg any higher otherwise this will turn into a completely different conversation and he’s not certain he could survive giving you an anatomy lesson without getting a nosebleed. 
Licking his own lips, he grazes your cheek with his fingers. The skin he touches glows the very faintest hint of blue. He’s reeling. Up till now, he thought that your skin glows when you’re sleeping, but apparently you also glow when you’re being touched. But this isn’t the first time he’s touched you. 
Was it because before he was trying very, very hard not to stare?
He doesn’t know, and regardless, he can’t stop touching you. Satoru presses on your adorable cheeks to watch it light up, the way his is flushing red. Whispering, he asserts, “I can’t tell you how kissing feels, E.” 
Your hand presses harder against his chest, fingers splaying across the expanse. Subconsciously, he juts it out just a little. And with the most seductive voice, you demand, “Show me then, Toru. Make me feel good?”
Oh, and when you ask like that, how could anyone ever resist you?
There’s a tantalising closeness between you, just a hairsbreadth away from touching. When he finally closes that minuscule gap, a purr like thrum echoes through you. He kisses you, sweet and gentle, simply pressing his lips against yours. There’s nothing human about this, not with the invigorating taste of you, the scalding feel of your skin, and impossible softness of your body on his. 
“This is a kiss?” You mumble.
Chuckling, he says, “No, E. This is.”
With one hand holding the back of your neck, he sucks your bottom lip, unable to help himself from deepening the kiss. You gasp into his mouth, and he dives his tongue in, meeting yours. He knows he should slow down, should let you adjust to a friendly peck before he takes more than you can give, but you taste so good and it’s like he’s drunk. 
There’s a force, a gravitation pull drawing him in. He can’t resist it, can’t fight it, he isn’t even trying. 
You pull back in shock. 
Satoru chases after you, dragging you back in. He kisses you again. Groaning into your mouth, he slides a hand down to your leg, rising up your thigh. You jolt, a shiver running through your body. That electrifying purring hums in the air again and he’s smiling, hand rising and rising until he’s curving against your ass and carrying you over his thighs.
“This feels... I feel...,” you whimper, at a loss for words. 
Squeezing your thighs, he coos, “It’s alright, sweet thing. I’ve got you. You wanted to learn pleasure, right? Who better to teach you than Toru, hmm?”
You shiver again when he whispers that against your neck, nose skimming your jaw and lips curling. He’s inhaling deeply, eyes fluttering close at the weight of your body pressing down on him and your addictive scent. 
He can’t tell if this is all you or if it’s an alien thing, but he doesn’t care. Not in this moment, not when your hips are churning as he sucks at your neck, laying burning kisses against your skin, and watching the blue light dance under your skin. 
“Oh, E,” he sighs. “Are you grinding on me, baby? You want more than just a kiss, is that it? My greedy, greedygirl.”
When your clothed core rubs just right against his throbbing length, you throw your head back, that purring noise a hiss and it vibrates against his cheek as he listens to your rapid heartbeat. He can feel how wet you are; you’re soaking through your panties and pyjama bottoms.
Satoru’s growing dizzy.
One hand guides your hips to gyrate on him whilst the other clutches your throat to pull your lips back to his. Satoru knows he should stop now that he’s already taught you what you asked for, but he can’t. He just can’t. The thrill of going further, of testing your, and his, limits is too much for one man to resist. Even if that man is the strongest sorcerer in the world, even if not a whole gaggle of curses could pose a threat to him. 
“Toru!”
He thrusts upwards the same time he tugs you down and the elongated moan that leaves you, hips stuttering and hands frantically searching for purchase on his broad shoulders, leaves him feeling lightheaded. “That’s it, E. Take what you need.”
Your eyes are flashing blue, a darker hue than his own, and he’s amazed. Everything about you is incredible, like you were created to be his temptation, to be his undoing. Whether aliens have souls or not, he doesn’t know, but he does know that if you did, his and yours would be the same, all blue and perfect. 
Laughing, he leans back, hands simply resting on your thighs as you ride out your orgasm, shocked eyes pleading for explanation, for reason but finding none in his. That purring gets louder and louder, the vibrations stronger now and they’re flowing straight from your soaked pussy and right onto his cock. 
“Oh shit!” Satoru groans, nails digging suddenly. Within seconds, he’s cumming in his boxers, hot cream flooding his underwear from inside at the same time your wetness seeps through on top. “Jesus, E! That’s fucking intense, what the hell.”
He’s panting, eyes shut tightly as he keeps grinding your hips on his cock. 
You slump onto him just as he falls back. You’re completely depleted of energy, and he knows exactly what you’re feeling. Rubbing your back, he presses a kiss to your hair, muttering ‘well done’ and ‘good job’. 
“How was that for pleasure?”
Smacking his chest, you mumble a complaint. “Toru mean.”
He laughs agains.
“Sorry, E. You were just too cute.”
You raise your head, eyes bleary and fluttering shut. You meet his gaze, shaky fingers reaching for his lips and tracing them, all sore and pink, like you’re amazed at him the way he is at you. “Thank you. Kissing is nice.”
“We did a little more than just kissing, E. But sure, you’re welcome,” he chuckles. 
Eventually, you both fall asleep in each other’s arms right there on the sofa, ‘Are You Still Watching’ filling the TV screen and not the movie he can’t even remember the name of, drying cum posing a problem he’ll have to deal with in the morning.
He dreams of sapphire streaks in the air, of giant balls of fire, and an angel descending with its arms outstretched. And he hopes he never wakes up.
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potatoplace · 15 hours ago
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Can't Help Falling In Love
The Afterthought: Chapter 6 | series masterlist
ACOTAR x Archeron!Reader
chapter 5 | chapter 7 | ACOTAR x reader masterlist
Story Summary: Your gained independence has brought you more friendships, a companion, and, surprisingly, a new romance.
Warnings: shitty Feyre, very mild drinking, iiii honestly think that's it? I cannot think of anything else, let me know if I missed something pls
Words: ~11.8k
Author's Note: omg so I'm tired so there might be mistakes BUT everyone let me know what they think!!!!!!!!!! IM SO EXCITED TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK CAUSE OMG IVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS MOMENT. Also. Peep the fun lil cameo I made (I am sure you all will guess it easily lol it's p obvious imo. Also. I will share pictures if people ask 🤭) I hope you all like this chapter!! ps the title is from an Elvis song but I know it from Fools Rush In but that's what they dance to at the end
18+ only pls
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Mor returned just a few minutes after you finished getting dressed, in a soft, thick navy cotton nightgown, your feet clad in soft, fuzzy white slippers.
You had already set the table- another purchase from the secondhand furniture store that you had made yesterday, coming with four matching chairs. The scuffed walnut wood matched your bed frame, which had been a good enough reason for you to choose it.
And, that you'd been able to carry it home. Slowly, but you had, and you'd returned for the chairs promptly, each time apologizing to the seemingly annoyed shop owner who had said nothing each time, only stared at you over the top of his book.
You let Mor in after the first knock, giggling when you saw everything she was carrying. She had a small duffel bag, a bag filled with food, and another bag filled with... well, you weren't sure yet, but it was stuffed to the brim.
"Did you bring enough stuff, Mor?"
"Oh, hush you," Mor said, breezing past you to deposit the food on the stable, her other bags deposited next to your bed. "I brought pasta! There's a creamy one that has a seafood blend, and some good old spaghetti with meatballs. Plus-" Mor pulled another, smaller bag out. "Breadsticks!"
"Did you get anything healthy?" You asked, taking the breadstick that she handed to you and taking a bite.
"Nope," Mor said through her own bite. "I mean, unless you count tomatoes being a fruit. Which I totally do. So actually, yes."
You shook your head and laughed as you sat at the table, Mor following right after. "As long as there's tomatoes, then. What's all the other stuff?" You asked, pointing your breadstick at her other bags.
"Well, one is my clothes for tonight and in the morning, and the other is full of housewarming presents!"
You let out an exasperated sigh, but you couldn't help the smile that spread across your face. "More housewarming presents? I don't know how much of this I can take."
"Oh, you will take them happily," Mor said sternly. "They're just some small things that I thought you might need, nothing big. Though I would love to help you find a couch tomorrow, if you're up for it?"
You looked at the bag, and back to Mor. "That depends on how much you got me, Mor."
Mor smiled brightly. "Ahh, so you can be convinced. Do you want to know what they are now, or food first?" You glanced down at your breadstick, and quirked a brow at Mor. "I mean the pasta, silly. So?"
"Uhh... Presents first, I suppose, as long as the food won't get cold."
"That should be no problem, if we keep it in the bag. I'll go change into my pajamas really quick, and then you can see what I got you!"
A few minutes later you were sat on your bed, Mor beside you, pulling your first present out as you held your eyes shut.
"Go ahead and open!" Mor said after placing something that felt like a book in your outstretched hands.
It was a book- and upon opening, you saw that it was filled with handwriting exercises, and beginners words. Meant for a child, yes, but...
"Mor, thank you," you said tearily, pulling your friend into your arms. "This is- oh, this is so amazing. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"
Mor giggled beside you. "You're welcome, Y/N! I know that glass Nuala and Cerridwen gave you is helpful for understanding letters, but I also know you'd prefer to do it yourself. Now, close your eyes again!"
The two of you repeated the process over and over again, until you'd received every present Mor had picked out for you.
She had gifted you a beautiful quill set, with a selection of colored inks along with a larger inkwell filled with the standard black. A diary, in a delicate shade of pink, along with matching letter paper and envelopes, a small kit to do wax seals for when you decide to send letters. Mor had also picked out a few lovely bars of hand soap, along with two cute crystal dishes to hold them. And Mor had brought you two new blankets, one a dark blue, and the other in a dark purple.
"You can never have enough blankets, Y/N. Never," Mor said seriously as the two of you moved back to the dining table, each of you having a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.
"I agree with you completely, Mor. And really, thank you for everything," you said sincerely, squeezing her hand.
"It's my pleasure, Y/N. I'm always happy to go shopping! Now- do you want some of both dishes? Cause... I do," Mor admitted with a grin as she pulled the to-go boxes out of the bag.
"I'd be happy to have both," you giggled, grabbing another breadstick from the bag, this one slightly cooler than before. "So- tell me what's been going on with the Hewn City? Unless you want to avoid work completely."
Mor sighed as she dished out some of both pastas for both of you, onto the pretty clay plates you had bought two days ago, with painted flowers decorating its surface. "Well, Keir has been a pain in my ass, using every available connection he has to try and stop the upcoming election. He's been holding these stupid little rallies at the nightly revels, trying to convince the citizens to stage a coup. Though why he thinks that would work when Rhys or Feyre alone would be able to shut it down, I don't know. Just... He's being a pain in my ass!"
"I'm sorry, Mor. Isn't there anything that Feyre or Rhys would be able to do? Or maybe... Maybe remove him from power, imprison him for attempting to overthrow their rule?" You suggested, then took a bite of the seafood pasta- absolutely delicious, the creamy sauce complimenting the scallops, shrimp, and shellfish well, the pasta tender.
"I've tried telling them that it may be the only way forward, but they don't seem to understand how bad it's gotten as of late. Azriel's been busy in Autumn or Illyria for the past few months, and Cassian's been monitoring Windhaven specifically as of late. And Feyre is pregnant, meaning Rhys is unlikely to send her to the Hewn City without him, which would leave only Amren in Velaris. So..." Mor took a dejected bite of a breadstick.
"So you're stuck there?"
"Pretty much," she sighed. "Though I made Rhys promise to give me at least one day off every week, so I'll be able to come back home, and I'll be able to see you!"
You smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I missed you a lot over this last month, Mor."
Mor's expression matched your own. "I missed you too, sweets. Now... Tell me how everything's been going with you?"
It was your turn to sigh after you swallowed your bite of spaghetti- also delicious, with the slightly spicy sauce and meatballs.
"Things have been... They're looking up now. Now that I've moved out, at least. And working has been really nice. Things around the River House... Besides Azriel, they've been really tough for me. Nesta and Elain... They make me so uncomfortable, and they hate me for no reason. At least, that's what it feels like. And Feyre doesn't seem to care, either..." You shoved another bite of food into your mouth, letting the flavor soothe your pain.
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I really thought that Feyre would have tried to make them stop, especially after how rude they were dress shopping for Starfall," Mor said. "But I'm glad to here that things are looking up for you- And that Azriel has been sweet. And working at Sevenda's! You've done amazingly for yourself, love, all on your own. If..." Mor paused, considering her words. "If you decided to not have them in your life anymore, I wouldn't blame you. Feyre I would give another chance, but Nesta and Elain... They're taking their anger about their own situation out on you, I think. And that's unforgivable, seeing as they know how much it's hurt you."
Tears had welled in your eyes at her words, at how well she understood your feelings. "Thank you, Mor," you managed to choke out before the tears fell.
"Oh, sweets... Come here," Mor said, standing from her chair and pulling you up and into her arms, squeezing you tightly, a hand stroking your hair soothingly. "How about we do a face mask and eat chocolate? Does that sound good?" Mor asked after a while, pulling away from you a bit. You nodded your head, not trusting your voice quite yet.
"Let's do it, then."
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The next morning was lazy, with you and Mor sleeping in and laying in bed for an hour, talking about everything and nothing. You felt like you were sharing hushed secrets together, like you had so long ago with Feyre when the both of you laid awake at night, your other sisters sleeping the night away as the two of you dreamed of a life you wanted to live, not just an existence of scraping by.
Eventually, you were dragged from the cocoon of your bed by your bladder, and after you had washed your hands you jumped on the bed, right on Mor.
"It's time to get up," you sang as you laid on top of your friend, giggling when she half-heartedly tried to push you off of her. "You said you wanted to go couch shopping, right?"
"Yes, but not this early," Mor groaned beneath you.
"If you want any chance of paying for it, you've got to get up now!"
"Okay, okay! You've convinced me, you're impossible to give things to unless I've already bought them," Mor laughed, and this time you let her push you off of her- not that you doubted her ability to do it if she truly wanted to. The two of you made your way into the bathroom, going through the steps of washing and moisturizing your faces. "We're stopping for breakfast in a café, though, I'm dying to have a muffin and some coffee."
"That's fine by me Mor," you laughed. "You can change in here, I'll change in the main room."
"Okay, just let me know when you're dressed so I don't accidentally peek on you," Mor said after she had grabbed her bag and returned to the bathroom. That left you to quickly strip out of your nightgown, down to your underwear. You slipped on a simple peach brassiere and into a clean, black woolen dress, in a similarly modest fashion to the one you had worn yesterday.
"You can come out, Mor," you called out, and a moment later the bathroom door swung open.
"Let's get going, I'm starving," Mor complained as the two of you slipped on your boots and outerwear, you of course wearing all of the items Azriel had bought for you. "Oo, I like these," Mor said, stroking the cape with an ungloved hand. "Did you buy it recently?"
A blush spread over your cheeks against your will. "Oh, uhm. Azriel gave the set to me, for Solstice."
A smile spread across Mor's face. "Oh? Azriel bought it for you?" Mor asked.
Your cheeks heated further at her actual question. "It's not like that, he's just being nice..." You mumbled.
"And what if he wasn't?"
You blinked at Mor for a moment, dumbstruck by her suggestion before you laughed. "No, no. I don't... That's not a possibility, Mor."
Mor shook her head. "But you want it to be- and it is. Any male or female would be lucky to have you, Y/N," Mor said gently, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. "Now. Let's go get breakfast."
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Three hours later, you and Mor were carrying a couch through the snow covered streets of Velaris, the legs dragging through the white powder. Its pink velvet fabric was a near match to the chair you had already bought, and had a low enough back to allow winged individuals to sit comfortably.
Not that you'd taken that too much into account, it was just a nice benefit for when Azriel came to visit.
Which he would be, tonight. The two of you had agreed to have dinner tonight, as your way of repaying him for your bed. It was the one night he would be in town this week, and since you had the day off it had seemed to work perfectly.
Mor was going out with some friends tonight at Rita's, an activity that you were fine not being involved in, and she had to return to the Hewn City early in the morning.
The two of you said goodbye in the late afternoon, a long hug and promises to coordinate time together and write to each other- you would even attempt to tell her about your week, if you were able.
You spent the time before Azriel turned up cleaning your apartment some, washing the dishes that you and Mor had used last night and putting away the gifts she had given you.
Then? You collapsed on the couch, a blanket spread over you as you enjoyed how soft the cushions were.
A shadow tangled in your hair moments before a knock landed on your door, and you shook your head at the silly little thing.
"Hello, Azriel," you said as you opened the door, face to face with the Shadowsinger, a round, covered dish in his hands. His shadows seemed antsier than usual, a few of them breaking away to swirl around your feet, a tiny smile creeping onto your lips.
His eyes tracked them, tightening for a moment before they met yours, hazel softening as he looked at you. "Good evening, Y/N."
Your smile grew. "Come in, you need to choose a recipe so that we can go shopping," you said brightly as you opened the door further, letting him into your apartment. "You didn't need to bring anything, you know."
"Thank you. I just brought dessert, and it was my pleasure. And I'd be happy to have anything you make, Y/N," Azriel said as he followed you into the kitchen, where you had two of your cookbooks set out on the counter. The ones that Nesta and Feyre had gifted you. He set the dish to the left of them, and you were tempted to peel back the foil covering it.
"None of that, you're going to choose a recipe that you want," you demanded, fully aware that you are being more assertive than you'd been with him... Well, ever.
But he seemed similar to you, in the way that you never liked to accept much of anything from others.
Azriel stared you down for a moment before sighing, a small smile creeping onto his face. "Okay. But you have to let me know if it's a recipe you wouldn't like," Azriel said firmly, waiting to open a cookbook until you had nodded your agreement. "Good."
He flicked through the pages until he settled on a dish you both thought sounded good- chicken and dumplings. "It was my favorite when I was younger," Azriel confessed as the two of you walked to the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, his shadows clearing your path as they had taken to doing over the past month.
"I can't imagine you younger, somehow," you giggled as you looked up at him, trying to imagine him as a gangly teenager. But the image never came, leaving you staring at the very masculine male next to you.
Azriel let out an amused snort. "That's fine by me, I was... I was awkward, back then. But, so were my brothers."
"You? Awkward?" You shook your head. "I don't buy it. You're too calm, all the time."
"That's now. Back then I was a nervous wreck," Azriel admitted, rubbing the back of his head.
"Well, if you're ever nervous now, you do an amazing job of hiding it," you said as you picked out the vegetables you would need, handing over your bank card to the stall owner for a moment, thanking them as you left. The vegetables were placed into the cloth bag you had brought with you, which Azriel plucked from your arms despite your protest.
"If you're paying for everything and cooking, the least you can let me do is carry the ingredients," he insisted. "Now, what else do we need?"
You looked down at your list, squinting at the poorly printed ingredients that you had written down before leaving. "Uh... Chicken, obviously."
"Right. There's a butcher shop just a few stalls down," Azriel said, leading you gently with a hand on the small of your back.
The intimacy of his touch made your breath stutter for a moment, before you reminded yourself that Azriel is your friend, nothing more.
Shopping flew by, easy, light conversation flowing between the two of you while you were in the outdoors.
Azriel carried everything for you, prying every item out of your hands after you had paid for it. But you didn't feel patronized by it, rather... You felt touched, that he wanted to carry the groceries back to your apartment, that he wanted to help out in some way. It was nice.
His helping hands attempted to extended into the kitchen, at which point you fixed him with your toughest stare, demanding that he stayed still.
"Just sit there and let me cook! Enjoy your wine!" You said to him as you dropped the dumplings into the pot. "This is me repaying you for my bed in the one way you would let me- so let me!"
Azriel sighed, but you could almost hear the smile he was wearing. "I cannot believe my shadows are siding with you."
"What?" You asked, turning away from the pot to stare at him, laughing at the sight you were met with. "Oh my- that's hilarious!" You giggled at seeing Azriel, covered in his own shadows as they held him to the chair, even lifting his glass of wine up for him.
"So you say, I find mutiny much less amusing," Azriel said, shaking his head with a smile on his face. "It smells amazing, Y/N."
Your smile grew, nose scrunching at his words. "Thank you, it should only be a few more minutes."
"I'm fine right here, no matter how long it takes."
🤍💞💙💞🤍
Azriel had left your apartment near eight in the evening last night, after he had insisted upon doing the dishes, of course. Dinner had been such a pleasant affair, with Azriel telling you about his work in Autumn and Illyria, and you talking about the small dramas of your fellow kitchen staff.
You could confidently say that you were friends now. Even better, you had gotten Azriel to agree to have dinner with you when he had a rare evening in town that wasn't taken up by court matters or inner circle dinners, though it hadn't been tough to convince the male. The next time you would see him would likely be on Saturday, though he had promised to send a note with one of his shadows if something came up.
Currently though, you were at work, nestled between Josi and Torma.
You'd woken up with an ominous feeling pooling deep in your stomach, one that you still hadn't shaken. But, you'd gotten yourself out of bed and to work; for that, you were proud.
Josi and Torma were going back and forth about where they should go for drinks that night.
"I think we should go to Rita's. Then we can dance!" Josi said excitedly, even doing a little jig, bumping her hip lightly into yours which drew a giggle from you. "See! Y/N thinks it's fun!"
"Dancing would be fun, that's true Josi. But I'm feeling more like sitting and talking a bit tonight, which is why Blue Bar would be a much better choice," Torma explained, giving Josi her best puppy dog eyes as she looked over your head.
Josi sighed. "What if Y/N comes dancing with us? Would you go to Rita's then?"
Your eyes widened at the suggestion. "I don't think-"
"Oh, please Y/N?" Torma begged, setting down her knife and putting her palms together. "Please please please? You haven't gone out with us yet!"
You scrunched your face at the idea. Drinking, dancing, and being near so many people... Was not your idea of a relaxing evening. "I'm not sure... I don't really drink," you said quietly.
"But you don't have to drink! You can just watch us be silly and bad at dancing," Josi enthused, setting down her own knife. "Come ooon, you know you want to see us make fools of ourselves!"
The thought of them stumbling around together on a dance floor did bring a smile to your face. "As long as you guys don't abandon me," you decided, your words resulting in enthusiastic high fives from your coworkers, only making you smile wider.
"Yes! Okay, we can either pick you up from your apartment at seven, or you can meet us at Rita's at the same time," Josi said.
"Uhh... Pick me up from my apartment, I think. Otherwise I might just stay home," you admitted sheepishly.
"Then we'll pick you up at seven o'clock sharp," Torma declared.
The rest of your shift passed quickly, with you leaving around five. You bid goodbye to your coworkers, promising them that you would be ready and enthusiastically awaiting their arrival in two hours.
You walked home, enjoying the slightly warmer weather that Velaris was having today. The sun was shining brightly, even as it began its descent below the horizon.
Still, even the lovely weather couldn't shake the feeling in your bones that something unexpected would happen today, good or bad.
And you were proven right when you arrived to your building, Feyre standing outside of the locked door, looking...
Angry.
Furious.
Your heart picked up in your chest, beating rapidly as you tried to assess why she would be angry... The only reason you could come up with was, well... Why you were standing outside of an apartment building.
"Hello, Feyre," you said, as neutrally as you could with your heart hammering in your chest.
"Y/N," Feyre said coldly, her hands pointing to the doorknob. "Let me in?"
Your brows scrunched together, but you unlocked the door, letting Feyre pass through before you. You led her upstairs, pausing before your door. Should you let her in...? You sighed and unlocked the door, allowing Feyre to enter your apartment. Your safe space.
You only hoped it continue to feel that way, after this visit.
"So... You moved out without telling me? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is? How worried I've been?!" Feyre growled at you once the door was shut behind you.
"Worried?" You asked with a mirthless chuckle. "You've been worried? I was gone for a week, Feyre! A week, and you couldn't be bothered to notice until Mor did!" You yelled at her, your own anger at your situation bubbling up. "Besides, it's not like I could leave the fucking city without your approval anyways, so what do you have to be worried about?! That I'm making my own life, with people who actually care about me?!" Feyre opened her mouth to respond, but you didn't give her the chance. "I felt like nothing but a burden, an annoyance in that house," you hissed. "And if you had actually cared about me, you would've noticed I moved out last Wednesday. And you would've noticed when I got a job. And you would have remembered that I cannot. Read." Tears filled your eyes as you brought up that little tidbit, the sting of it fresh whenever you thought of it. Water had begun pooling in Feyre's eyes, and you knew that if she spoke you would forgive her, even if you didn't want to. "Now get out, Feyre, unless you've decided that my apartment is now your property as well. Come back when you actually realize why I moved out," you said coldly as you opened the door, staring expectantly at her.
She did as you asked, passing through the doorway mere minutes after she entered. Feyre turned to you, her eyes sparkling with unshed tears. "I do care for you, Y/N. But you've got to stop acting like living at the River House was torture."
You scoffed and rolled your eyes, slamming the door in her face and locking it tightly.
Not that it would stop her, if she really wanted in...
You spent the rest of your time before your coworkers showed up curled in your bed, pillows piled around you and blanket pulled over your head. It was only when you peeked at the clock and saw it was ten to seven that you pulled yourself from your cocoon.
Hair brushed out and a small amount of eyeliner and pale pink rouge and lipstick applied, you quickly changed into a different dress. Your cozy black cotton dress was changed to a flowing, sapphire blue silk gown. The sleeves were loose, wider once they met your forearms, and the modest cut and floor length skirts left you feeling secure and covered. You felt pretty in it, one of the few nicer gowns you had taken from your closet in the River House.
You had just pulled on your boots and cloak when a knock fell on your door, Josi and Torma waiting outside.
"How did you get in the building?" You asked with a laugh as you locked up.
"Well, one of the other tenants had just walked in when we arrived, so we slipped inside!" Josi explained, locking arms with you as the three of you left the building.
"Ahh, that explains it."
"Yes. Now, let's get to Rita's! It's cold as balls out here," Torma groaned, taking your other arm and dragging the two of you along faster.
The air in Rita's was hot, a welcome reprieve from the winter chill outside. Josi went to order drinks for the three of you, while Torma led you over to a booth in the back of the bar.
The two of you had just settled in when Josi came back, four drinks in her hands. She set two in front of you, one was water, the other was pink and sparkling, smelling of strawberries and a hint of alcohol.
"I know you said you don't drink, but I thought I would get you something just in case! I had the bartender make it less strong for you. And if you don't have it, I'll drink it anyways," Josi giggled as she slid into the booth next to you, already sipping her own drink.
Normally you wouldn't have dared to touch alcohol, but your conversation with Feyre earlier... You could use a distraction. And, you were with your trusted coworkers.
You took a small sip of the drink, delighted at the way the liquid was fizzing in your mouth. It tasted as it smelled, primarily of strawberries with the slightest hint of alcohol- champagne, you thought.
"Thank you, Josi, it's delicious."
"I'm glad you like it! Oh- Torma, we have to dance to this one!" Josi squealed, setting her drink down and sliding out of the booth, pulling Torma along with her.
You watched them dance, sillier with each song as Josi had said they would, sipping your drink. You started feeling light, tipsy like you had at the one party you'd drank at, when you still lived in the human lands.
Maybe that was why you hadn't noticed him, until he was standing directly in front of you, wings tucked in behind him.
"Oh- hi, Azriel," you said quietly, a flush on your cheeks as you smiled at him.
"Hello, Y/N. I didn't expect to see you here," Azriel replied, sliding into the booth across from you. "You look like you're having a nice time."
You bobbed your head to the beat of the music. "I am. Josi and Torma convinced me to come out tonight. And I am glad they did, otherwise Feyre would have ruined my day," you giggled, the sting from your interaction with her not present with the alcohol running through your veins.
"You spoke with Feyre?" Azriel asked, a curious look on his face.
You sighed heavily and took another small sip of your drink. "Yeah, she was at my place when I got off work, and was mad that I moved out without saying anything. But really, it took her a week to notice!" You vented. "Not to mention she didn't even remember that I couldn't read... Nesta and Elain I understand since they hate me but..." you trailed off, a frown on your face.
One of Azriel's hands slid over your own, grasping it gently. "I'm sorry that you've been let down so thoroughly by your sisters, Y/N. I am happy to know that you're still living how you want, and making friends too."
You smiled dreamily at him. How was he so nice to you? "Thank you, Azriel. I'm glad that you're my friend, you're really nice."
Azriel smiled softly at you, his hazel eyes crinkling at the edges.
One of his shadows tangled itself in your hair, rubbing against your neck and drawing your eyes away from Azriel's. "Your shadows are so silly," you giggled, tickling the shadow with a finger.
"They seem to like you a lot," Azriel remarked, watching as more of his shadows nuzzled themselves against you. "By the way, I wanted to ask you if you're up for a surprise on Saturday, before we have dinner."
You blinked at him for a moment, your thoughts coming more slowly with what you'd drank. "Uhm... Is it a fun surprise? Or like... dragging me to a family dinner surprise?"
Azriel's lips pressed together, the corners of his mouth still tilting upwards. "A fun surprise, I promise. And if you don't like it, we can leave right away."
"Mm... Sure, I don't see why not," you said, trying to come up with what kind of surprise he would plan.
"Good," Azriel smiled. Josi and Torma had wandered back over to the table, fresh drinks for themselves in hand. "I'll let you spend time with your friends," he said, sliding out of the booth.
"Thank you for saying hi, Az," you said sweetly, smiling happily at him. "I'll see you on Saturday!"
Azriel nodded, a slight flush on his cheeks as he turned away, going back to whichever table he had been at.
"Oooh," Josi said from beside you, elbowing you gently in the side. "Someone has a crush on the Shadowsinger!"
You scrunched your face at her, but couldn't get the smile to slide off of your face. "No I don't," you whined.
"Oh yes you do," Torma joined in, poking your leg with a foot. "And I dare say he has one on you as well."
You blushed further at that idea, shaking your head. "No, no, we're just friends!" You insisted, but both of them gave you a knowing look.
"Uh-huh," Josi giggled from beside you. "Just let us know when you start dating, hmm?"
"It's not like that!" You giggled, gently slapping her on the arm. "It's not!"
Torma rolled her eyes playfully at you from across the booth. "Sure, Y/N. Now, do you want to dance with us?"
You looked out at the dance floor. You'd never been one for dancing, since you'd missed out on the years of lessons that Nesta and Elain had gotten. But...
You drained the rest of you drink, about a third of it, and scooted into Josi. "Let's go dance!"
🤍🤍💙🤍🤍
The next morning, you'd woken up with a slight hangover, which had been easily cured with a large glass of water, some dry toast, and a long bath.
Josi and Torma had grinned at you the whole day, talking about how they needed to take you out more often now.
You wouldn't say yes every time but... It had been nice spending time with them, and dancing had been more fun than you'd thought, with a bit of bubbly running through you.
The five days before you would see Azriel again- when you would know what surprise he had planned- passed by quickly at work, but dreadfully slow while you were alone at home.
You had taken to filling out the handwriting book that Mor had given you, your letters improving with every time you wrote them. And you felt you were nearing the point that you could attempt to read children's books, perhaps the book of fables that Rhysand had given to you for your birthday.
Feyre had yet to visit again, something you were grateful for. If she couldn't understand that being trapped and kept here like a forgotten pet, or worse, a chew toy for your sisters, was your problem? Then you didn't want to see her.
You were lonely while you weren't at work, but you could handle that. After all, you had time with Azriel after work today, and you and Mor were having another sleepover tomorrow night.
You had just started washing up to leave work when a shadow snuck into your hair, alerting you to Azriel's presence, likely in the dining room. You giggled at it, gently poking it with a wet finger before you dried off your hands. Sure enough, Azriel was stood in the dining room, talking with Sevenda in a hushed tone, both of them quieting when you walked through the curtain separating the kitchen from the front of house.
"Ah, Y/N! Someone came to pick you up," Sevenda said with a smile, winking at you when Azriel had his head turned.
You rolled your eyes at her, turning your attention to Azriel. "Come to take me to the surprise?"
"I am, in fact," Azriel nodded, extending a hand to you.
You took it without thinking, letting him lead you out of Sevenda's restaurant and into the snowscape of Velaris. His hands were soft, even with the scars that you knew covered them, and the calluses that you knew he should have, being a warrior and all.
His shadows were buzzing around the two of you excitedly, mirroring that of their master. Something about where you were going had Azriel as close to giddy as you could ever see him getting, a slight smile stuck to his face, his wings twitching every now and then.
Soon enough you came to a stop in front of a large building, various magical creatures painted onto the sign above the door.
Velaris... Animal... Shelter?
You blinked at the sign, confused. Surely you hadn't read that right.
"Come inside, I think you'll like it," Azriel said, gently tugging you into the building. Once inside, your ears were met with so many different sounds: meows, barks, bird trills, growls, hisses. There were a few rooms, all separated with glass walls and doors, filled to the brim with animals.
You were instantly drawn to the room housing felines- there were so. Many. Kittens!
"Oh my gods, can we go in?!" You asked Azriel, your face flushed from excitement and the cold as you met his hazel gaze.
"Of course we can, we just need to keep all of them inside the room." Azriel opened the door for you, letting you pass through first.
"Oh, they're so cute!" You squealed, approaching a pile of kittens, all conked out. You sat on the floor next to them, petting all of their fuzzy little heads and milk filled tummies, delighting in the squeaks they let out.
"This is an amazing surprise, Azriel," you told him once he sat down next to you, his wings drawing the attention of some of the active kittens.
"Being here isn't the only surprise," Azriel said. "If you'd like, you can take one home. I've already picked out some possible furniture you might like for the little one, if you decide to have one."
You gaped at him, completely shocked. "I can... I can take one home?" You asked, looking back at the kittens with new eyes. You could have a companion... Someone just for you.
"You can," Azriel said warmly, a smile on his lips when you looked back at him.
A grin spread across your face and your launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!"
His arms wrapped around you for a moment before you pulled away. "You're welcome, Y/N. I thought you might like to have a companion at home."
"Well you were right," you said giddily, turning back to the kittens. All of them were so adorable, so sweet while they were sleeping. But you would want one that was calmer while awake, matching your energy levels.
You and Azriel stayed in that room for two hours, playing with kittens and talking about what you'd both been up to over the past five days.
"The elections are heating up, and thankfully Rhys and Feyre sent me to the Hewn City to help protect the candidates going against the current leaders," Azriel told you as he let four kittens climb over him, even onto his shoulders and head. "Mor sends her love, by the way."
You smiled, both at the sight and the mention of your shared friend. "That's sweet of her, we get to have a night together tomorrow, which will be even more fun with my new little one," you said. "I still don't know which one I want, though."
"Take your time, you want to get one that you'll bond with well," Azriel suggested.
You looked around to room, trying to find any kittens that you hadn't interacted with yet. There, on one of the shelves... Mostly hidden behind a fluffy bed stuffed onto the shelf was a tiny kitten with glowing green eyes, her beautiful silvery coat shimmering even in the slight darkness of the shelf. You crawled over to her, extending a hand back to let her sniff. She hissed softly at you once, but let you run your fingers across her head, purring at the first touch.
Oh yes. This one.
She seemed slightly afraid of everything, hissing gently when you plucked her from her spot and cradled her in your arms. She was so tiny, and her fur was so soft and puffy, you wouldn't be surprised if she turned out to be a total fluff ball. Her tummy fur was the palest pink color, absolutely adorable. And her silvery fur had streaks of light tan running through it, along with slightly darker streaks of grey.
She was perfect. And the way her eyes closed as you pet her was so comforting to watch, you knew that you had found your fur child that you wanted to take home.
"I want her," you said to Azriel, tilting her in your arms so he could see her better. "She's so cute, and she seems nervous, like me."
Azriel laughed softly. "She's very cute, Y/N. Do you know what you'd want to name her?"
You looked down at her, trying to think of something that would suit her. At the same time, she let out the tiniest little squeak, that sounded like a soft 'eek.'
"M'aiq. Cause she's mine, and she made a little eek noise," you said, nodding your head at the name.
"M'aiq... That's a cute name for a cute little Starfall kitten."
"Starfall kitten?" You asked, wondering if that's why her eyes glowed green.
"Yes, every year, in the two months after Starfall, about one in every litter is born with a Starfall spirit inside of them. Or, at least, that's the explanation I've heard for why their eyes glow," Azriel explained, beginning to place the kittens that had climbed onto him back on the ground.
"Awe... You're even more special, my little M'aiq," you said cheerily, nuzzling your nose against hers.
Azriel led you out of the glass room and to the counter, where a fae took M'aiq and put her into a small carrier. He then led you into the shelter's store, where they had plenty of furniture, toys, and anything else you would need in stock.
You picked out a tall, carpeted structure that had a few platforms that M'aiq could rest on, as well as four different beds meant for small felines. A magically cleaning litter box and several food and water dishes also came home with you, as well as many, many toys.
His shadows sent everything to your apartment besides M'aiq in her little crate, which Azriel picked up for you. You tried to pry it out of his hands, but instead he slipped his free hand into yours and began leading you back to your apartment. Along the way you stopped in the Palace of Bone and Salt, picking up the things you would need for a simple pot roast dinner, seeing as you would be distracted for the rest of the evening.
Once you were inside the apartment, you immediately snagged M'aiq's crate from Azriel and pulled her out of it and into your arms.
"You're so cute," you cooed to her, petting her tiny head slowly.
You felt Azriel's eyes on you before you saw them, glancing up and smiling warmly at him. He looked away, the slightest blush on his face.
He is, too.
You placed M'aiq into one of the many cat beds now decorating your apartment, this one placed at the foot of your bed. "Stay there, sweetie, while I make dinner," you told her, her nervous green eyes on you. "I'll make you something, too, don't you worry."
Azriel was smiling softly at you when you turned to the kitchen, the expression making his face even more beautiful than normal.
You'd never understood how a male could be pretty, until now. But now you knew why Feyre called Rhysand the most beautiful male she had ever seen, because you thought that might be true of the winged male in currently in your kitchen.
"Did you need help with dinner?" He asked as you approached the bag of food he had placed on the counter.
"Hmm... I suppose since this isn't me paying you back for anything, you can help this time," you decided, setting out two cutting boards and handing him a knife. "Cut the potatoes into halves then quarter the halves, slice the carrots half an inch thick, and the onions into eighths please."
Azriel nodded and began rinsing the potatoes and carrots, while you grabbed some chicken from your cold box, dicing it after you started a flame under a pan with a bit of oil in it.
You balanced cooking the chicken for M'aiq and braising the roast while Azriel cut all of the vegetables, finishing at the perfect time, right when you needed them all to be added to the pot.
Azriel took over seasoning the roast while you fed M'aiq for the first time, grinning from ear to ear as you watched her devour half of the chicken that you had cooked for her. You'd get the portions down in no time.
With the roast in the oven, you and Azriel relaxed on the couch for a while, M'aiq in your lap.
After a little bit, Azriel had his shadows bring him a few reports after he made sure you would be okay with it, quietly filling them out with the scratch of his quill on the paper.
You decided, since you had tipsily told him that you were illiterate at Rita's anyways, that you would work on your handwriting in the book Mor had given you again, fighting the blush that had overtaken your cheeks.
But he said nothing about what you were doing, only giving you one curious glance before returning to his own work.
He was thoughtful like that. He thought about what would make you uncomfortable.
Your heart thumped in your chest at the feelings you were developing, ones that you had been fighting so hard to keep at bay.
But you were failing.
You were failing because this sweet, caring, thoughtful male did nothing but make your life brighter, Shadowsinger or not.
Doing your best to keep your attention on your workbook, you passed the rest of the time until the roast was done in a comfortable silence, the scratching of quills, crackling of logs, and M'aiq's soft purrs the only sounds in your ears.
Azriel checked the roast for you, after you had complained about having to move M'aiq when she was so comfortable and sleeping... And then he brought a bowl over to you along with a napkin, eating his own on the couch as well.
You felt so comfortable near him, even sitting so close, unaccompanied by anyone else. Two and half years ago you would have balked at the idea, the impropriety of it. But Azriel had been nothing but gentlemanly toward you, even when he had flown you up to the House of Wind.
And really... You would never be the whore that Nesta claimed you to be, after all you had never even been kissed in your twenty years of life, let alone had relations with someone. Just the thought of that sent anxiety through you. No, you would not have sex with someone until you were married, as you had been raised to do. You even... You even found it romantic, to save yourself for your future spouse.
So, being alone in your apartment with Azriel? That was an impropriety you were willing to overlook.
Azriel left your apartment near eleven at night, having spent extra time with you while you helped M'aiq settle in to her new home.
When you shut the door behind him, your heart fluttering from his presence, and now absence.
You turned your attention down to the fluffy ball in your arms. "What do you say, M'aiq? Are you ready for bed?"
Her soft squeak was enough of an answer for you. You settled her on the bed, next to your pillow while you washed your face and dressed for bed.
You laid down next to her, covers pulled up to your shoulders, with a hand poking out so you could pet her as you went to bed.
You didn't feel quite so lonely, laying in the dark now.
🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍
As soon as you exited work, you were assaulted by way of an aggressive hug from a bouncy blonde. Mor swung you around, giggling.
"I'm so excited to see you!" Mor yelled, squeezing you tightly.
"I'm excited to see you too, Mor!" You giggled after she set you on your feet again. "So, what's the schedule like for tomorrow?"
"Well," Mor started as the two of you began walking to your apartment. "I have to be back in the Hewn City by noon, and... I have a family dinner to go to tonight," Mor said with a sigh. "So I won't be with you for dinner, but I'm planning to book it out of there and have dessert with you!"
You nodded in understanding. "That's fine, Mor, but you should come to my apartment first! I have something to show you."
"Oh?" Mor asked, quirking a brow at you. "What is it?"
"If I told you now, it wouldn't have the same effect!" You insisted as you let her into your building, following her up the stairs. Your door swung open, and you heard the skitter of claws on wood. "Oops, I think the door spooked her."
"Her?" Mor asked, looking around before her eyes locked the far wall. "She's under the bed."
"Oh, M'aiq!" You called as you pulled off your boots before crawling next to the bed. "Come on out, sweetie, Mor is your friend," you said softly, rubbing your fingers together to draw her out. No luck, though, especially when Mor kneeled down to peer under the bed. M'aiq actually hissed at her, spitting and everything. You hated that she was distressed but... She was so cute.
"Awe, she's adorable!" Mor whispered. "And she's a Starfall kitten, oh that's so sweet. You know, they tend to bond strongly to their owners, some are even able to communicate with them. Not talking," Mor giggled when you gave her a wide eyed look. "More like... Their emotions can be shared with you, similar to daemati, but it's just a connection between them and their person. Maybe your little M'aiq will do the same."
You looked back to her, where she was now sitting, pressed tightly against the wall but no longer hissing. "That would be so cool," you whispered.
Four hours later and Mor was back in your apartment, lounging on your bed with you, M'aiq laying inbetween.
"So, besides the kitten, what else is new?" Mor asked you, popping a chocolate into her mouth a moment later.
"Well..." You blushed. "I... I like Azriel..."
Mor grinned at you. "I knew you would! And honestly, I don't see why he wouldn't like you. The two of you are so well suited for each other."
You shook your head. "I don't think so Mor, I'm... I'm human," you whispered, your eyes stinging.
"And what does that have to do with anything?" Mor asked seriously, tilting your chin back up so you would look at her. "So, you're human. Why does that matter?"
"Well, because... Because I won't be around for long, and it's cruel to shackle someone to me when I'll be old and grey in such a short time," you admitted, finally giving voice to your doubts.
"Who says you'll get old and grey?" Mor asked. "Maybe there's a way for you to not age, we just haven't found it yet. And besides, it's Azriel's choice if he decides to pursue you, he would know the possible outcomes. You deserve to be happy, Y/N," Mor said softly, her own eyes shining with tears. "I know that you're stuck here, and you would prefer to be in the human lands, but you still deserve to have happiness here, and if that means having a partner? Then that's what you should do, sweets."
You sniffled at her words, willing your tears to not fall as you stroked M'aiq. "Maybe... Maybe you're right... But I still don't think he likes me in that way," you said quietly.
"Well, I think what you think is wrong. I've never seen Azriel smile as much as he does when he's with you," Mor giggled, causing you to do the same. "And the two of you look so cute together!"
"Mor, stop," you laughed. "I don't want to get my hopes up..."
"Okay, okay. I'm just saying..."
You scrunched your nose at her. "Different topic. Tell me how things have been going with the election?"
"Well..."
🤍💙💘💙🤍
Friday night you and Azriel had planned to spend the evening together, but you were surprised to see him on Wednesday evening, after knocking on your apartment door.
"Hello, Azriel," you greeted. "What are you doing here?" Your eyes darted down, seeing his shadows swirling around his legs, a few darting out to brush against your legs. But more interesting was the box in his hand, pink with a matching ribbon tied in a cute little bow wrapped around it.
"I, uhm-" Azriel stammered for a moment before taking a breath. "I came here today because I want to ask you on a date, Y/N."
Your breath caught in your throat, your heart stopping. "I- what?"
Azriel's mouth tilted up in the corners. "I want to take you out on a date. I want to spend time with you, have a chance to court you. I like you, Y/N. And I was thinking we could go out for dinner on Friday night, if you decide to say yes."
Your brain short circuited. He- he likes you?
"I- Is this a joke?" You asked in a small voice, your heart bracing for the answer you were dreading.
Azriel's eyes saddened for a moment, his hands twitching where they were holding the box. "No, Y/N, I would never joke about this. I like you, very, very much. And I would very much like it if you joined me for dinner Friday night at seven," Azriel said softly, his eyes locked on yours. They shone with nothing but the truth, soothing your worries and sending heat to your cheeks.
A small smile slid onto your lips. "I... I'd like that very much, as well."
Azriel's smile at your words set your heart ablaze, the fire of your feelings stoked by the knowledge that he shared them as well. "Good, good. This is for you," Azriel said, placing the box into your hands once you held them out, his fingers brushing against yours. Just that little touch sent flutters through you, your blush deepening. "It's Elain's recipe, the white chocolate raspberry cake that you love," he explained. "I thought, even if you did not share my feelings, that you might like something sweet anyways," Azriel admitted, rubbing a hand against the back of his head.
"Thank you, Azriel," you said softly, touched that he would still care for you, even if you'd rejected him. "I'll... I'll see you at seven on Friday?" You asked shyly, still in disbelief.
"I'll see you then, Y/N," Azriel said, raising one of your hands and pressing his lips to the back of it. "Sleep well, dear."
Your heart thumped in your chest, hard enough you thought it might beat out of your chest. "You too," you said quietly, watching as he smiled once more at you, before disappearing down the stairs.
You shut the door, leaning against it after you locked it.
Had that really just happened?
Your eyes drifted down to the box in your hands, proof that Azriel had visited, had brought you it, had... Had...
Oh gods, you had no idea of what to do for a first date!
You set the box on a kitchen counter, opening it to see an adorable, heart shaped cake, decorated with pretty pink swirls of icing. It made you giddy, knowing that the cake was a present from a suitor. From Azriel. You cut a slice for yourself and grabbed a fork, taking the plate over to the table.
The cake was as delicious as you remembered, and M'aiq jumped onto the chair next to you, watching as you ate.
"If only you could give dating advice, little cutie," you mused, having another bite. No, you'd have to go see Mor for help.
🤍🤍❣️🤍🤍
The next morning, you knew that Mor was in town, visiting the River House to give a report on the upcoming elections to Rhys and Feyre- early, too, before you started your work day.
You bundled up early, your nerves getting the better of you. You needed her advice, and you needed it before Friday. Which meant this morning was your only option, even if it meant going to the River House...
You entered your former home, filled with anxiety. There was no way to tell how this would go, given your last encounter with Feyre, but you were determined to get what you needed, and that was a conversation with Mor.
Luckily for you, she, Feyre and Rhys were sat at the dining table, having breakfast. Mor was chugging coffee until she saw you, setting her cup down and rushing out of her chair.
"Oh, Y/N! I'm so happy to see you!"
"I am too, Mor, I was-" You looked at Rhys and Feyre. "I was hoping I could talk to you, if that's alright?" You asked nervously.
Mor glanced back at the two of them before nodding. "That's fine, sweets, what did you need?"
"Uhh... Can we go outside, to talk?" Mor nodded and followed you to the front door, slipping on her coat before leaving the warmth of the River House. You walked a little bit away before talking, you didn't want anyone besides Mor to know. "Okay, so... Remember how you said that Azriel might like me...?"
"Oh mother!" Mor exclaimed. "He asked you out, didn't he?!"
You blushed and nodded your head. "Yes, last night, and for tomorrow night. But I- I've never been on a date before," you confessed, wringing your mittened hands together. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what's expected. I've never- I've never even been kissed!"
Mor placed a comforting hand on your shoulder. "Oh, hon! Nothing will be expected except for you to give it an honest try, and to be yourself! And as for never being kissed, I could change that," Mor offered, wiggling her eyebrows at you.
You swatted her arm, shaking your head at her. "You're very pretty, Mor, but I don't like you that way," you giggled. "But... But what if he... What if he doesn't understand that I'm... saving myself," you whispered, "For marriage?"
"Y/N, if Azriel is in any way demanding sex from you, then he doesn't deserve you. I also don't think Azriel is that kind of male, he seems like a true gentlemale, in my opinion."
Her words soothed the anxieties in your chest, calming you down. "I don't think he would either," you said shyly. "But I... I also don't know what to wear."
Mor's eyes lit up even more, and she clapped her hands together. "Oh, oh! We can go shopping when you get off work today! I'll make sure I can stay in town until eight tonight, okay? And I'll see if I can come over tomorrow evening before you leave and help you get ready, if you'd like?" Mor asked.
"Really, Mor? That would be lovely," you said, hugging your friend. She squeezed you back. "Thank you, I'll see you at five, yes?"
"Yes you will, sweets. Now, you get to work, and I'll get back to that meeting. See you later!" Mor said with a wave, turning around the way you came.
Your shift passed incredibly slowly, your mind drifting to every way that the date could go right- and also wrong. You had nearly driven yourself crazy by the time you had washed up and left the building, Mor waiting by the door with two steaming cups of tea in each hand.
"Let's get shopping, sweets!" Mor said brightly, handing a tea to you and leading you to a dress store in the Palace of Thread and Jewels. It was a different one than you had gone to for your Starfall dress, for which you were thankful.
Mor lead you through the store, showing you dress after dress in styles and colors that you loved. All the while, she gave you little tips of advice, most of them along the lines of "be yourself and know that he is just as if not more nervous than you are."
After trying on ten different dresses, you settled on a rose pink silk dress with a modest neckline and floor length skirts. The sleeves billowed out before coming in at your wrists, the silk laying across your body in a flattering fashion. You could safely say that your body had filled out over the past month, what with you eating a small lunch at work and having dinner most nights. Your curves were more pronounced, a bit closer to how you had been before being taken to Velaris.
Mor had also insisted on buying you heeled boots in a matching shade of pink, a gold heart buckle keeping the strap in place. They were cute enough that you didn't fight her on accepting them.
She walked you home, parting with a strong hug and a promise to come by a bit after you got off work tomorrow.
But for tonight? You had another slice of cake, then snuggled up with M'aiq under the covers, using her purrs to chase away your racing thoughts.
🤍💙🤍💙🤍
"You look gorgeous, Y/N!" Mor squealed as she stood back, having put the finishing touches on your makeup. "What do you think?"
You looked in the mirror, taking in the very light blush on your cheeks, the softly glittering pale pink eyeshadow on your lids, brown eyeliner complimenting your eyes, making them look even softer than normal.
"I agree! You do an amazing job every time, Mor," you praised, standing to hug your friend tightly. "Thank you so much for helping me get ready, today and yesterday."
"Oh, sweets, it's no trouble at all! In fact, it's been so long since my own first date that it's bringing back this memories, how fluttery your stomach gets when you see them..." Mor sighed happily. "Well, I should get going, otherwise Keir will riot."
"When are the elections over, again?" You asked as you walked her to the door.
"In two weeks, thank the mother," Mor groaned. "Then I get a nice, long vacation for three weeks."
"Just two more weeks, you can do it!" You encouraged, wishing there was something you could do to make it shorter.
"Yes, I know... And you had better tell me everything that happens tonight!"
You giggled at her words. "I will, Mor!"
"Everything!" Mor yelled as she went down the stairs.
You shut the door looking at the clock. Half past six. That was plenty of time for you to feed M'aiq her dinner and get dressed. And luckily for you, cooking something would keep your mind occupied enough to not panic about Azriel's impending arrival.
Your little child was fed and your dress pulled onto your body, pink boots slid onto your feet. All you had left to put on was your cloak, mittens and scarf, but that could wait until right before you left. Five minutes passed dreadfully slowly, and at 6:57 you pulled on your winter gear and descended the stairs after saying goodbye to M'aiq.
Waiting for you just outside the building door was Azriel, a bouquet of roses- red, lavender and white- in his hands.
"Hi, Azriel," you said, a blush instantly coming to your cheeks at the sight of him in a fine black shirt and pants, a change from his normal Illyrian leathers. The shirt clearly showcased his physique, something that you could appreciate. He had no knife belt on him tonight, his waist looked a bit barren without it.
"Good evening, Y/N." He pressed a kiss to the back of your mittened hand before pressing the bouquet into your hands. "I thought you might like some flowers," he said with a small smile, one that you easily returned.
"I love flowers, and these are absolutely beautiful," you said, raising them to your face to smell them. "And they smell lovely as well."
"I'm glad to hear it. Would you like to take them upstairs, or my shadows can, if you'd like?"
You bit your lip. If you went back upstairs... You might chicken out. "If your shadows could take them, that would be nice." In the next moment, the bouquet was out of your hands, whisked away by his shadows to the vase in your apartment. "So, where are we going for dinner?" You asked, locking your arm with his after he held it out, your hand holding onto his muscled forearm.
"It's an Illyrian restaurant, I helped the owner and his cousin leave the camps sixty or so years ago, and I've found that, except for your cooking, it's my favorite restaurant in all Velaris," Azriel explained as you strolled towards the Palace of Thread and Jewels.
"Really? That's so amazing, that you're part of the reason their dreams came true," you said, even more enamored with the male beside you. "You're going to have to recommend things to me, I wouldn't know where to start," you giggled.
Azriel smiled down at you. "How about we share a couple of dishes? That way you can try whichever ones catch your eye."
You met his eyes, a smile on your own lips. "That sounds perfect, Azriel."
His eyes sparkled as he opened a door for you, a hand on your lower back guiding you through, sending a renewed flush to your face.
You were seated a moment later, in a cozy booth near the back of the restaurant, two menus placed on the table. Azriel ordered a pot of tea for the two of you to share, which warmed your heart.
He already knew you so well.
"Now, what sounds good to you, dear?" Azriel asked, the pet name sending your heart into overdrive.
You looked down at the menu, but with your excitement and still somewhat illiterate eyes, you were lost. You bit your lip for a moment before deciding what to do. "What if you order your favorites, because I am overwhelmed by choice?" You asked, relieved when Azriel nodded his head.
"That would be their beef stew, made with Illyria native vegetables and their roasted Illyrian trout with roasted vegetables. Do those sound good?" Azriel asked. You nodded your head- both of those sounded fantastic, and you were excited to see what he enjoyed most.
When the server returned with your tea, Azriel ordered the food before returning his attention to you, the weight of it making your breath catch in your throat.
"So..." You started, entirely unsure of what to say.
"I'm glad you decided to come out with me," Azriel said, his eyes soft as they met yours.
"I am too," you said shyly. "I'm still... Shocked that you asked me to come out, though."
A soft frown slipped onto Azriel's face, and you wanted nothing more than to wipe it away. "Really? I'd thought..." Azriel's own face heated a bit. "I thought that I was rather obvious with my affections. I might be the spymaster of this court, but I'm woefully inept at hiding my own feelings, at least... When it comes to you," He admitted, voice low and gentle.
"So... We both like each other... And thought we were bad at hiding it?" You giggled.
"I suppose so," Azriel chuckled. "But truly, I am very happy that you're here tonight, with me. Now, tell me- How is M'aiq settling in?"
Now that was a subject that you could go on and on about, with only having her for a week now.
You had covered how she was doing wonderfully at your place by the time your food arrived, with Azriel dishing your plate for you. The gesture made you smile, all the little ways he took care of you already.
The food was absolutely fantastic, flavor bursting along your tongue. Both of the dishes were spicy, but not so much that you couldn't handle it.
Conversation flowed between the two of you as you ate, just as it always did. You talked about your dreams for the future, the few that you did have at this point, your brain already working Azriel into them- not that you admitted that to Azriel, it was a bit early for those sentiments. Azriel told you a bit more about his upbringing, glossing over the parts of his life before he had befriended Rhysand and been taken in by his mother. You didn't pry, but you were a little curious to know every part of his story, everything that had shaped him into the male you cared for.
Soon enough you were stuffed full of warm, delicious food, the plates in front of you empty. More than that, you were filled with joy from Azriel's company, from how he clung to your every word.
He led you from the restaurant, his hand placed on your lower back once more, the warmth of it radiating through the fabric of your dress. You walked along the Sidra slowly, leaning your head against Azriel's arm, trusting him to keep you from falling.
You were almost halfway home when you heard the most beautiful music, coming from two musicians playing next to a bar, one with a violin and the other with a cello. You slowed your pace, Azriel's arm tightening around you as you did so. Listening for a moment, and gazing up at the brilliantly shining stars above you, you had an idea.
"Azriel, would you dance with me?" You asked him quietly, tilting your head to look at him.
His eyes met yours, a smile glowing within them as well as covering his lips. "I'd be honored, Y/N. So long as you call me Az."
You smiled brightly at him. "It's a deal, Az." You let him turn you in his arms, clasping your right hands together and placing a light hand on your waist. Your other hand came to rest on his shoulder, grasping it lightly.
The two of you swayed together in a small circle to the lovely music, the light of the stars shining down on you.
It was the date of your dreams, if you were being honest. Lovely conversation and food, and such a romantic partner, willing to dance in the snow with you because you asked.
So when you finally arrived at your apartment, you were a bit sad the date was ending. But more than anything, you were excited for everything that lay in the future for the two of you.
Azriel smiled down at you softly, his eyes warm despite the cold temperatures. His wings twitched behind him, just before he leaned in a bit.
"Can I kiss you?" He asked as one of his hands came to cup your cheek gently, so, incredibly gently.
You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. He leaned in further, allowing you to close the last, tiny gap between your lips.
And when you did, you knew that you would never be the same. His lips were so soft against yours, so gentle and sweet that it stole your breath away.
Your mouth followed for a moment when he pulled away, your eyes fluttering open- you hadn't even realized you'd closed them.
"If it's fine by you, I'd like to see you when you get off work tomorrow," Azriel suggested softly, gaze flicking between your lips and eyes.
"I'd like that," you whispered into the space between you, the tilt of his lips more than worth having to speak so soon after such a life changing kiss.
"It's a date," Azriel said with a smile. "Goodnight, Y/N."
"Goodnight, Az," you breathed, unlocking the door of your building. He waited to leave until you were safely inside, the door locked behind you.
You just managed to get into your apartment before you collapsed against the door, overwhelmed by just how perfect the night had been. How perfect Az had been.
🤍💙💝💙🤍
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ghouljams · 3 days ago
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The Church of the Broken God (chapter 2)
Words: 5k Tags: Eventual John Price x reader, public masturbation, brainwashing, doublespeak, indoctrination, f!reader, passively suicidal ideation, self destructive habits, horrible bosses, depressed!reader, Cult Leader!Price Summary: Your life has been on a downward spiral for months. It's hard to find a real reason to keep going when everything you do seems to backfire. That is, until you get a flier for a meditation seminar that promises to fix all your problems.
<- prev chapter | next chapter ->
These women are… super nice. You don’t know why it puts you on edge. They’re not doing anything wrong. They buy each other drinks, compliment each other, they’re attentive listeners and laugh at every joke you make. You offer to buy a round, the same as they’ve been doing for you, and you’re not met with a rush to stop you. They look pleased, shoot off thanks and smile the same as they did for the other women. You feel like you’re doing the right thing, you don’t know why it makes your stomach squirm. Maybe you’re just not used to people doing nice things for you.
“You ok?” Nina asks, leaning over the table to frown at you, “you’ve gone all quiet.”
“Yeah, uh, I guess I’m just not used to crowds anymore.” You attempt to cover.
“It’s the compliments isn’t it?” Cassie jumps in, Nina waves her off.
“No, no!” You hold up your hands to defend yourself, “Those are really nice, you’re all really nice! I’m just not-”
“Used to it?” Nina finishes with a wince, “I wasn’t either, it was super awkward the first time I came out for drinks, you remember?”
“Oh my God so awkward, you were like a robot.” Cassie laughs, it takes some of the weight off your shoulders.
“But you get what you put out into the world, y’know? You give kindness, you get it in return, that’s what John says.” Nina nods, she crosses her arms and leans back against the booth. She feels serious, her jaw set and her brows drawn. “I was in a really dark place when I first took John’s class, it felt like I was living a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from. My friends were drifting away, my fiance was cheating on me-” She shakes her head, you wince at how closely your situation matches, “-I was so bitter and it made me mean, I get why no one wanted to be around me.”
“Nina-” Cassie sighs, her sympathy obvious. Nina waves her off again, sitting forward to grab her drink.
“Whatever, it’s in the past now.” Nina mutters, your heart aches for her. You set a hand on her shoulder, giving it a friendly squeeze. She smiles at you. It feels… good. You can see yourself in her, your pain and suffering. It’s a weight that she carries the same as you. “Kyle really helped me a lot, Christ I owe him a whole bakery.”
“Nina!” Cassie squeals, shoving at her. Nina’s shoulder bumps against you, warm. Camaraderie. Did you forget what it was like to have friends? When was the last time you saw your own? The last time they laughed with each other, with you? “You’re so bad,” Cassie laughs.
“What? He’s hot!” Nina laughs back. You feel a little left out. Your stomach clenches.
“Sorry, who’s Kyle?” You ask, “Your boyfriend?”
“She wishes,” Cassie snorts into her drink. Nina shoves at her.
“He’s a counselor, life coach sort of guy.” Nina explains, “He has a class at the rec center on Wednesdays-” Claire’s phone pings “-honestly it’s worth going just to see him, God I wanna make a sandwich out of that man.”
“I’m gonna hit the bathroom,” Claire announces. You glance at the other women at the table. None of them move. Weird, you would have thought women this close would be biting at the bit to accompany her. You always used the buddy system with your friends. Especially at bars. In fact the other women at the table seem to ignore her, only acknowledging her enough to move out of the way. 
You guess there’s a black sheep in every friend group. You know the feeling. You tap your fingers against the table watching her retreat to the bathroom. You don’t have a good feeling about letting her go alone. Nina’s insistence on “putting kindness into the world” or whatever is running through your head and you just… you can’t let her be on the outskirts of the friend group alone. You’re not even really part of it, but everyone is being so nice- you won’t be the reason this girl is left out.
“Oh um, I’m gonna ask the bartender something,” You tell the girl on your left, shit what was her name “can you-?
“Sure!” She pushes herself out of the booth to let you out, quickly cozying up next to Nina when you vacate the spot. You glance at the table over your shoulder as you make your way towards the bar, then make a hard turn towards the bathrooms. No one’s paying attention to you, that’s good.
You push the bathroom door open, trying to be quiet in case Claire’s shy. You’ll just, uh, wash your hands and pretend you’re fixing your outfit when she comes out. Nothing weird about that. Totally normal thing that people do, and not like you’re waiting for her to come out of the stall so you can- What? Commiserate about being left out? Ugh, you don’t know why you even-
There’s a distinct, wet, noise coming from one of the stalls. A ‘shlick, shlick’ sound that you recognize all too easily. You catch the bathroom door to keep it from slamming and cover your mouth. Fingers sliding against a wet slit, a soft huff of a stifled moan, and the quiet low rumble of a man’s voice. Deep and throaty, she’s on the phone with someone, or listening to something. You can’t tell which, what you can tell is that Claire --the girl who had seemed almost too shy to ask you to join them--  is masturbating in a public bathroom. And you’re standing there listening. You’re not sure which is worse. It squirms like bile in your stomach, you’re intruding, you’re being a creep. Your own cunt clenches. 
A quiet whimper leaves Claire’s mouth and you rush back out of the bathroom. You catch the door a second time to make sure she doesn’t hear it slam, then you press yourself against it. You fan your face, try to get your breathing right, fix your face. Fix your damn face! You press your hands to your cheeks, and squeeze your eyes shut. Oh my God.
You make your way back to the table, doing your best to avoid looking at anyone. The girl who moved for you initially lights up when she sees you, hopping out of the booth and ushering you in. You feel a little awkward sliding into the middle with Nina, but you don’t want to cause a fuss with so many people watching you. Good lord do they all have to look at you? 
“Did the bartender have what you were looking for?” Nina asks. Your eyes dart to her.
“The- oh, uh, no. I was wondering if he had a phone charger.” You cover quickly.
“I have a power bank you can use,” Cassie offers. You open your mouth to turn her down before remembering that would blow your story out of the water.
“Sure.” You relent, forcing a smile onto your face. 
“No problem,” Cassie chirps, digging through her purse to tug a power bank and two different chargers free, “it feels good to do nice things for people, don’t you think?”
“Yeah,” you agree absentmindedly, fussing with the charger and plugging your phone in. An alert for a non-branded charger pops up and you quickly dismiss it. 
The conversation moves on to other topics, but you hardly pay attention. Your eyes are glued to the bathroom door, waiting for Claire. When she does finally exit she looks the same as when she left. No ruddy cheeks, no guilty glances around, no rumpled shirt or anything that would give away what she was doing in the bathroom. You try not to narrow your eyes as they flick over her body. You don’t want to look like you’re checking her out, you just want proof that you heard what you heard.
“Welcome back,” Someone says, and Claire beams at them.
“Who’s buying the next round?” Claire asks.
You drift in and out of conversation. Someone offers to split an uber with you, apparently they live in the same building. You wonder how you never noticed them before, but they hug you before you get off the elevator.
“It was nice to connect with you,” She hums, “it feels nice being part of something, doesn’t it?”
You don’t get a chance to answer before the doors close.
-
Wednesday, you think, flipping through your phone while you brush your teeth. Nina said her life coach guy was on wednesdays right? Curious, you check the rec center’s website.
“For the Whole You!” The site banner reads in friendly font. You scroll down to their calendar. There’s a lot of pictures of people smiling, a pie chart of something, testimonials, blah blah blah. The calendar is easy to read at least. And packed. It looks like meditations happen every three days, you spot John’s name easily. Price, huh, that’s a cool last name. Wednesdays… 
You click on the only Kyle you see, and a page pops up with- Christ- one of the most beautiful men you’ve ever seen. Kyle Garrick, life coach with a masters in psychology. That doesn’t sound too bad. You thought life coaches were just con men in ripped jeans, but this guy seems like he might actually know what he’s talking about. John’s name pops up again, a short anecdote from Kyle about serving with him. Huh. That’s kind of interesting you guess. 
You think back on the meditation lesson you’d attended, the power that John seemed to carry in simple actions, the musculature, the way he’d pinned you in place with a single tilt of his head. Military fits you guess. You click on his class and tap your fingers against the side of your phone as you think. The class has a helpful registration counter at the side, letting you know there’s one spot left for the wednesday evening class. It’s not like you have anything else going on, and it’ll fill your usual therapy slot. It’s twenty for a single class. That’s not too bad, less than therapy co-pays. You make an account on the site, begrudgingly signing up for their email list, and send twenty dollars into the void. 
You get an email from Kyle about an hour later as you’re scrolling through instagram, avoiding looking at the time. It feels pretty standard, welcoming a new person, attaching a survey on what you want to work on. You type out a few quick words promising you’ll get to it in the morning. Your email pings a few minutes later.
“You must be an insomniac, just tackle it now.” You narrow your eyes at the screen, “Might help you sleep to accomplish a task before bed.” 
What sort of weird logic- fine. You squint at the questionnaire, typing out your answers as best you can. Honest enough to get some advice but not honest enough to get sent to the hospital has always been your MO with these things. This one is sort of weird, but you’re exhausted, too sleep-addled to pay proper attention.
Are you lonely? Do you ever feel out of place? Do you have dreams where you act as someone else? Have you heard of the law of attraction? When someone says they feel “connected” to you, how does that make you feel?
Do you ever feel talked over?
Do you ever feel pushed out of conversations? Do you find it hard to accept yourself?
Are you on the path you want to be?
You rub your eyes, typing as best you can. 
Where do you see improvement for yourself?
Describe yourself in one negative word.
You type, and type. It feels never ending. Worse than the insomnia that keeps you up. It’s nearly two hours later when you finish. You send it off to Kyle without another thought, and snuggle down into your blankets. You’re so tired.
Your phone buzzes. You roll over to check it. Another email from Kyle.
“Thanks, this looks great! :)” You sigh. At least your work checks out. That’s good, you’re sure it’s just an auto-response, but you appreciate it nonetheless. Another message pops up. Your email alerting you to a new response in the chain.
“How long have you had trouble sleeping? I know a few good remedies.” You sigh, the screen hurts your eyes. You don’t know what inspires you to reply, why you don’t simply roll over to sleep. The attention is nice, you suppose.
“A few months. What’s your miracle cure?” You stare at your phone, let the blue light laser its way over your eyes. The screen dims, you tap it to keep your phone awake. To keep you awake. 
“Have you heard of sleep restriction therapy?”
-
Your morning has never felt more miserable. You barely slept and you had to upgrade your usual tea to an instant coffee. You’re nursing the brown sludge that you managed to scrape together from the break room’s limited stores when your least favorite manager swings by your cubicle.
“Did you finish the reports I asked for?” Kevin asks. You do your best to keep your face neutral as you sip your scalding caffeine.
“I told you they’d take me until the end of the day.” You remind him, “It’s nine in the morning.” Nevermind that he’s swinging into the office a full hour late, but you know for a fact that you promised the updated numbers by five today. You have the email to prove it.
“Oh,” Kevin makes a face, his teeth grit as he exhales through them, “I was really hoping you’d work on them last night.”
“Outside of work hours.” You confirm, trying not to sound too much like you’re questioning his less than sound judgement.
Kevin sighs your name with a shake of his head, “You know you’re not going to get very far in this company if you don’t care about your work.”
You take a deep breath through your nose, inhaling as much coffee vapor as you can stomach. It does nothing to calm you down. You can’t be expected to deal with this level of bullshit on practically zero sleep. Maybe you should look into that sleep therapy Kyle sent you, you really can’t keep living like this.
“I care about my work Kevin,” You tell him with as much of a smile as you can manage, “I’ll have the reports to you as soon as possible.”
“Atta-girl,” Kevin praises, snapping his finger to hit you with a nauseating pair of finger guns before moseying back to his office.
If you thought reporting him to HR would do anything you might consider it. As it stands you’ve already tried that twice and gotten nowhere. It just made him more dedicated to making your work life hell. Crazy how they always talk about retaliation in the “Hostile work environment” training videos, but no one seems to give a shit about it when it’s happening to you.
You spend the next two hours swearing at the mess of spreadsheets that Kevin emailed you yesterday. If he’d bothered to clean any of the sheets up it would’ve made your life a hell of a lot easier. You don’t even want to think about how many cells could’ve been saved if he knew how to use just one function. You can feel the start of a migraine pressing against the back of your eyes by the time your stomach is starting to growl at you about lunch.
You glance away from your monitor to rub your eyes, try to get some of the blurry tilt out of them. Your bag sits on the desk next to you, deliriously empty. Fuck.
Fuck that’s right, you’d decided to skip packing a lunch this morning because you were running late for your train. 
With a heavy sigh you check your lunch options just as your phone pings.
It’s an unknown number, weird.
You swipe the message open to delete it and pause.
“Hey, it’s Nina! I saw you work near me and was wondering if you’d want to grab lunch?”
You blink at your phone screen. How the hell would she know where you work?
Your sluggish brain clicks away as your stomach churns nervously. You guess Cassie works at the rec center, she’d see applications that come through, membership stuff. Maybe Cassie gave it to her? Nina was the one who suggested you sign up for Kyle’s class, maybe Cassie wanted to, you don’t know, spread the good news of your signing up?
Your head throbs.
You’re not really operating at 100% right now, you’re not sure you want to interact with someone who seems to have their life together.
“My treat?” Nina double texts you.
Alright, you can pretend to be a human being for free lunch.
You’re almost relieved to see Nina has a little darkness under her eyes, purple sleeplessness that she’s tried to hide with concealer. It makes you feel a little better for your own sluggish brain to think that she might be tired too. 
“I know this is probably totally weird,” She laughs when you greet her with a raised hand, “You’re probably like, oh my god this bitch is a stalker, how does she know where I work?”
“I figure Cassie gave it to you, because I signed up for your favorite class.” You yawn, as she nods.
“That’s smart,” She says nothing about your second yawn, “wouldn’t have been my first thought.” You hum, before deciding a verbal answer is friendlier.
“Yeah, I mean it seemed sort of weird, but you don’t strike me as the stalker type.”
“Tell my ex-fiance that,” Nina says with an eye roll, “ask to share your location one time- of course I was right to be a stalker but…”
You snort and she positively beams at you. You have to squint to avoid blinding yourself in the sunshine of it. She links her arm with yours and tugs you along to walk with her. You do your best not to tug your arm out from her hold, not used to being touched so casually.
“So what are you in the mood for?” She asks, leading you down the street.
“I’m not picky,” You tell her, trying to be easy. You could really go for something warm right now, you think you might be coming down with something.
“You look exhausted,” Nina coos sympathetically, “Maybe you should go home instead. Rest.”
You rub your eye with the heel of your hand and shake your head. “I’ve got a lot to get done today.”
“Surely your boss won’t mind you taking some sick time?” She sounds so sincere, you feel bad when you bark out a laugh. Nina frowns, “One of those, huh?” You sigh, letting yourself feel the heaviness in your limbs like a sick indulgence.
“Just a few more hours,” You assure her, “Then I can go home and sleep.”
“Let’s get something good in you before then.” Nina nods to herself.
Nina orders for you and sets a steaming bowl of rice and saucy vegetables in front of you. It smells heavenly, like ginger and coconut, and there’s little crispy bits of something sprinkled on top. She has a salad, and shakes it vigorously in front of her while you mix up the yellow curry and rice. Even just the thought of the food’s warm steam settling in your stomach energizes you. You glance at Nina and she’s got her head bowed. 
You-
Pause. 
A little awkward in the face of what must be prayer. You’re not quite sure if you’re supposed to start without her, or if that’s rude. You don’t know the protocol for this. After a moment she raises her head and blinks at you.
“Oh my gosh, were you waiting for me?” She asks, scandalized. You nod, unsure what to do with your hands. You settle on spooning a heap of curry and rice into your mouth. You figure that’s fine since she’s done. “That’s really sweet of you,” She smiles. She doesn’t give you any indication if this was the right thing to do. You stare at your bowl and chew.
“I was going to invite you to hang at the rec center after work,” Nina starts, waving her fork with a sigh, “but I don’t want you to push yourself if you’re exhausted.”
“Do people hang out at the rec center?” You question, trying to remember if you saw other people there when you went yesterday. It had seemed fairly empty, almost abandoned, but maybe you’d been too focused on getting to your class to notice anything else. The class was full, so there must have been other people hanging around.
“Of course,” Nina gives you a look like you’re crazy for asking, “like all the time. It’s a nice spot just to chill and see people. John doesn’t mind us hanging around.”
John. That was the meditation instructor’s name, wasn’t it? It’s pretty common, you doubt it’s the same guy. Why would an instructor mind if people hung around anyway? Cassie had pointed you towards a lounge area last night so there must be more of those to steal for chatting.
“The meditation instructor?” You ask dumbly. It’s not the question you want to ask, but it’s the only thing that sticks on your tongue. Nina hums her assent.
“He runs the place.” She explains, “he’s super nice, really cares about bringing people together, building community, connections.”
She says the word like it means something: connections. It sticks in your sluggish mind, but doesn’t raise any red flags.
“Sounds like a good guy.” You shove another bite into your mouth.
“He is.” Nina tells you. Tells you, like she’s demanding you try and disagree with her.
You blink. There’s a coldness to her face, there and gone. She smiles, and tucks into her salad.
Maybe she’s got a thing for him. You make a note not to say anything bad about him to her.
He seemed nice, good looking, she could do worse.
You suppress a shiver at the memory of his hands on you, pushing you forward and pulling you back like it was the most natural thing in the world. His touch is the first you’ve had in a long time that didn’t make you cringe and want to squirm away. Actually his class was the most relaxed you’ve been in, well, ever and the short nap you’d taken was probably the best sleep you’d had in months. You’d almost be willing to give up on going straight home after work if you knew John was going to be at the rec center, maybe you could slip in another meditation workshop?
You want to ask Nina about it, but you also don’t want to give her the wrong idea. If she does have a crush on the guy, it’s probably not great to ask too many questions about John if you want to stay in her good graces. 
“Right,” You try, “yeah his class was great, and I’m, uh, looking forward to Kyle’s class too.” Not your best subject change, but Kyle’s name makes Nina light up.
“Oh yeah, you’re going to love it!” She assures you.
“Yeah, I- yeah,” The attitude shift has you a little stunned, your molasses thoughts stick to your tongue as you try to collect them, “He sent me this huge questionnaire last night, it was really, um, in depth?” You try to remember one of the questions but wading through your mind is difficult with so little sleep.
“Well,” Nina stabs her fork into her salad, you flinch at each punctuating crunch of lettuce, “he has to get to know you, silly, so he can help you.” You stir your curry in jerking motions, for something to occupy your hands. “You can’t pull yourself out of a hole,” Nina tells you with a blank smile, “someone has to throw you a rope.”
-
You were almost happy to get back to work. Kevin chewed you out about taking too long a lunch, and you were probably going to get an ulcer from all the tylenol you took, but you were happy getting away from Nina. She’d chatted your ear off about Kyle and somehow didn’t answer a single one of your questions about him. Not that you had any chance to get a word in edgewise. You couldn’t handle the perky tone in her voice by the time your lunch ended. At least you didn’t have to pay for your own food.
You manage to get Kevin his spreadsheets before five. You still leave the office late and thankless.
You doze on the train home, your head tugging at your neck each time the doors opened, and you barely make it into your house before you’re collapsing on the couch. 
Yeah, you couldn’t have made it to the rec center like this.
You startle awake when your ass starts vibrating. You blearily fumble for your phone  and swipe at the screen, turning off your “call Baby” alarm. You should really delete that.
You toss your phone on the coffee table with a sigh and turn onto your back to stare at the ceiling fan. Ten. You slept for a good couple hours. You’re starving.
And you’re not going to be able to sleep tonight because of this nap.
Great.
-
You consider canceling your registration for Kyle’s class as you sit on the train heading to the rec center. You could just go home. You sort of want to go home, but Cassie had called you this afternoon to confirm your registration and she’d sounded so sad when you’d asked about canceling that you just couldn’t. Also you were pretty sure it was too late to get your money back. So here you were.
At least the rec center is busier than Monday. Cassie had told you the Wednesday meditation was full, maybe this is their busy day. You see people coming in and out, and look for a familiar face in the crowd. You’re hoping to see one of the women you met Monday, but instead your eyes lock on slightly less familiar icy blues.
John smiles at you across the street, and glances both ways before jogging across. You paint on a smile for him, and try not to look like you were avoiding going inside.
“Waiting for someone?” He asks in lieu of greeting. You keep your eyes on his, the creases at the corners of his eyes deepen a little as you stare. 
“No, just-” You search for a normal time killing activity, “-people watching.” John hums and steps to stand beside you. The space he takes up feels enormous, like a black hole sucking up your attention, despite the way he crosses his arms over his chest. You peek at the bulge of his bicep against the dark shirt he’s wearing, the stiff fabric stretching to accommodate more man that it was made for. You would’ve expected him in the same comfortable yoga clothes as he was wearing Monday, but this feels more formal. He’s wearing slacks. And oxfords. 
“It’s intimidating,” He tells you out of the blue after a moment of silence. Your eyes dart to his face, and your confusion must be all too clear because he chuckles. The deep throaty noise of it makes your stomach clench. “Letting people help,” He fills in, “choosing peace.”
You make a face.
And John touches you.
His hand slides, big and warm, over your back. His fingers spread wide and he leans into your space like he might pull you closer, except you suddenly feel rooted in place. Fear shoots through you, anxiety punctuating your breaths unnecessarily. You fix your face quickly, tamp down the surge of adrenaline that makes you want to run. John isn’t doing anything but looking at you, his smile the same placid thing even as his brows twitch in concern.
“Sorry,” You find yourself apologizing, trying to unlock some of the stiffness in your shoulders, “I’m not used to people touching me.”
“It’s a natural response,” John doesn’t move his hand, his thumb rubs against your back and you feel the unnatural drag of your shirt against your skin like sandpaper, “You’re trying to protect yourself. Silly little thing that people have gotten into their heads these days, that everyone’s out to get them.” He tips his head, and you’re hit with a wave of claustrophobia, the open air seems to sink into you until you’re a single focus point in a tiny void. “Doesn’t that feel awful?” 
His words feel like they’re sinking into you, echoing every thought that bounces through your tensed musculature. It feels awful, you feel like a cornered gazelle, like a lame wildebeest, like a fly trapped in a spider’s net. 
You feel almost pleading the way you must be looking at him. Humiliated to react like this to something so simple.
He smiles brighter and his hand leaves you, you suck in a breath and feel your lungs ache, “That’s why it’s so important to pick apart that distrust, humans are social creatures, made to be connected to each other. All from the same warm pool, yeah?”
You nod. John nods his head towards the rec center.
“Let me walk you in, you’re here for Gaz’s class right?”
“No, um, Kyle’s.” You correct.
“Ah,” John laughs, his hand reappears on the small of your back, pushing you forward, “old habit, that’s what we called him in the SAS. You’ll like him, not as touchy as me.” He pulls his hand away with a small apologetic smile, “force of habit.”
“It’s fine,” it’s not, “Everyone around here is so friendly, I just have to get used to it.”
John hums, “Already untangling the web, good girl.”
Your stomach clenches pleasantly. You can see why Nina likes him.
211 notes · View notes
tteotlma · 2 days ago
Text
Sugar and Skin
2. Second Impressions || Previous
a simple favor for Steve leads to an unexpected second encounter and a lingering trace of powdered sugar that's harder to ignore than it should be.
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TattooArtist!Bucky x Baker!Reader (3.9kw)
tw: 18+ MDNI; mild language, subtle tension, implied attraction, slow-burn, strangers to friends to lovers. a/n: NOTE!!! If u see "{{...}}" then that means i think u can skip it and be fine. and i think i finally decided on a weekly schedule.
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“White chocolate macchiato?” Bucky called out as he pushed the glass door open with his back, swinging around to face an empty storefront. 
“Don’t judge!” He heard from the back room, as he set the bag and cup on the counter. 
“Never pegged you for the type.” Bucky smirked, watching his best friend practically float towards the pastry on the counter. He watched in bewilderment as Steve tore the bag open and took an enormous bite. 
“Yeah well, how many years has it been?” Steve asked with a mouth full of bread, crumbs of almond slipping from his lips. Bucky didn’t say anything. Steve took a swig of the hot coffee and melted into the seat beside him. 
“It’s like Christmas in a cup.” He held the cup with both hands to his chest, a dopey grin plastered on his face. Again, Bucky just stared.
“Listen, you may not get it but once you actually slow down you start to find things you never even knew you could enjoy.” Steve rolled his eyes. 
“I didn’t say anything.” Bucky held his hands up in defense as he leaned across the counter. 
“You didn’t have to, I know that look on your face.” 
“Just never thought I’d see you practically jizz in your pants over a cup of coffee, and a danish.” Bucky jabbed at the blonde in front of him.
He watched as Steve stilled in his throat before groaning, dragging a hand down his face as he shook his head. “You’re impossible,” he muttered, though the grin tugging at the corner of his mouth betrayed him.
“And you’re apparently unpredictable,” Bucky shot back, slouching against the counter with a smirk. “White chocolate macchiato? Really? Who are you, Steven?”
Steve glared at him, from the corner of his eye. Eyebrows furrowed. 
“Just never thought I’d see you practically cum in your pants over a cup of coffee and a bear claw, is all Stevie,” Bucky quipped, emphasizing the name as he rocked forward against the counter, arms crossed.
Steve froze mid-sip, his eyes narrowing slightly before he set the cup down with exaggerated care. “Guess you met Y/N,” he said, his tone casual, though there was an edge of something unspoken.
 “Y/N,” Bucky repeated, testing the name as he tilted his head, studying him. “That the baker?”
Steve nodded slowly, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah. She runs the café with this guy Sam. They’re partners. She handles the baking and the day-to-day stuff; he’s the coffee guy.”
Bucky raised an eyebrow, tutting his jaw forward. “Didn’t realize you were so invested in her business model, Steven.” He continues to study his face, resting his leather padded elbows against the granite. 
Steve gave him a dry look, shaking his head. “They’re good people, Buck. Been going there for years since before this place opened up. Y/N’s always just somehow been there for me. You know how it is—some people just stick.”
Bucky just stared. He locked eyes with Steve, and watched as the jewelry attached to the end of his eyebrow quirked up as he silently questioned him.
“What’s the big deal anyway? Why do you even care?” Steve finally blurted out, his fingers crinkled the paper bag in his hands, signalling that not only he was getting irritated but that Bucky was behaving strangely. He stepped back, and blinked.
“Nothing—I don’t care—just didn’t expect you to have something like that going on,” Bucky said, his voice quieter now, though his words still carried a pointed edge. He put his hands against the counter, studying Steve’s reaction.
Steve blinked, his head tilting slightly as if trying to figure out what Bucky wasn’t saying. “Something like what?” he asked, his tone casual, but his gaze sharp.
Bucky hesitated for a beat, his jaw working as he tried to shrug it off. “I don’t know,” he muttered, gesturing vaguely toward the coffee cup. “This whole… thing. The bear claws, the macchiato, the… normalcy.”
Steve’s lips quirked into a faint smirk, his tongue brushing lightly over the ring adorning his lip, though a slight furrow creased his brow. “It’s not a thing, Buck. She’s a friend—a good one. Don’t make it weird.” He took another swig of his sweet drink. 
“I’m not making it weird,” Bucky shot back quickly, his voice defensive. He shifted his weight, suddenly uncomfortable under Steve’s gaze. “Just didn’t peg you for it, that’s all.”
“For what?” Steve pressed, leaning forward slightly, his eyes narrowing.
Bucky straightened, his smirk returning though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “For someone who’s got his coffee order memorized by a baker, Steve. That’s all.”
Steve snorted, shaking his head as he leaned back in his chair. “You’re reading way too much into this,” he said, but there was something unspoken in his tone, something that made Bucky’s jaw tighten again. 
“Maybe,” Bucky muttered, pushing off the counter as he adjusted his stance.
The sound of the door swinging open cut through the moment, the brass bell bouncing sharply against the frame. Bucky glanced toward the entrance, catching the figure stepping inside, but his attention quickly shifted back to Steve.
Steve’s gaze flickered to the newcomer, then back to Bucky. He squinted slightly, as if assessing something unspoken, before pushing himself up from the chair. Grabbing the remains of the danish, he took one last bite before tossing it casually onto the desk. Without another word, he moved to greet the client, leaving Bucky standing there, the earlier conversation still hanging heavily in the air.
“But it’s still a hell of a danish, apparently,” Bucky muttered under his breath, his eyes flickering to the discarded pastry before walking towards the back office.
Bucky lingered by the doorway, watching as Steve greeted the newcomer with that same easy grin he gave everyone. The client, a guy in his early twenties, handed over a folded piece of paper—probably some Pinterest-inspired design that would drive Steve nuts later.
Steve took the paper with a nod, already slipping into professional mode, but Bucky’s thoughts stayed stuck on their earlier conversation. The weight of Steve’s words hung in the back of his mind.
He leaned against the office door frame, absently running his thumb along a faint tear in the leather of his jacket. It wasn’t the baker herself that was bothering him, he told himself—it was the way Steve had talked about her. Like she was more than just someone who made a good danish.
Bucky huffed quietly, glancing toward the counter where Steve was already sketching something out for the kid. He tried to brush it off, but the thought lingered, like a splinter under his skin.
Pushing off the doorframe, he headed toward the back. He didn’t need to stay and hear more—it wasn’t his business anyway. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.
{{As you threw your head back to laugh at a joke Sam had suddenly thrown out, the bell above the door jingled lightly catching your attention. You glanced up just in time to see him—the man in the leather jacket—pushing the door open, stepping into the cool afternoon air.
Your gaze lingered briefly, watching as he walked past the window, his broad shoulders hunched slightly against the chill. There was something about the way he moved—deliberate, careful, like he didn’t quite belong here.
Sam’s voice cut through the café’s hum as he leaned against the counter, watching the door swing shut behind the man in the leather jacket. “What was his deal?”
You looked away from the window, your brow furrowing. “Who?”
He gestured toward the door with a sharp nod. “Steve’s “friend”. Looked like he was ready to bolt the second he walked in.”
You huffed a quiet laugh, shaking your head as you placed loose napkins back in their holder. “Maybe he’s just not an outside person.” 
Sam scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Right. Like that explains the way he was looking at you.”
That made you pause, your hand hovering over the counter as you turned to him. “Looking at me? He wasn’t—”
“He was,” Sam interrupted, his tone flat but edged with something harder. “Like he was trying to figure you out or something.”
You rolled your eyes, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face as you turned back to your work. “You’re imagining things. He didn’t even say more than a few words to me.”
“Doesn’t mean he wasn’t looking,” Sam muttered under his breath, the smirk tugging at his lips doing little to mask the irritation in his voice.
Your lips pressed together as you glanced toward the counter, catching Peter juggling cups and fumbling with the register, his expression one of barely concealed panic. You exhaled sharply and jutted your chin toward him. “I think Peter needs your help,” you said, keeping your tone casual, but the shift was deliberate.
As the café settled back into its usual rhythm, you found yourself distracted, your hands working on autopilot as you adjusted the remaining pastries in the display. It wasn’t like you to dwell on customers—especially not ones who had barely spoken a word to you—but something about him stuck.
It had to be the contrast, you decided. Steve was always so easygoing, the kind of guy who fit in anywhere, his warm demeanor making even the busiest days feel manageable. But his friend? He couldn’t have been more different if he tried.
Where Steve carried himself with an open confidence, the man in the leather jacket had felt... closed off. He hadn’t looked uncomfortable, exactly, but there had been something guarded about him. Like he didn’t belong here and was painfully aware of it.
You shook your head, brushing the thought away as you wiped your hands on your apron. That’s all it is, you told yourself. The difference has you caught off guard, that’s all.
Still, as you moved to refill the sugar containers, you couldn’t shake the image of him standing at the counter, his quiet presence somehow filling the space. You huffed softly to yourself, determined to let it go. You had more important things to think about than some friend of Steve’s who probably wasn’t planning on sticking around anyway.}}
“Please, please, please.” You crossed your arms over your chest and rolled your eyes, biting your cheek to keep from smiling. 
“Steven, I have a shop to run.” You said, switching the “open” sign to “closed” after locking the double doors. 
“It’s Wednesday. You guys close early on Wednesdays—Please.” Steve begged over the phone, his tone dripping with exaggerated desperation. 
“I already did you a favor by ordering the books for you, and now—“ 
“I’ll owe you one.” 
“That’s what you said last time,” You deadpanned, switching the phone to speaker, so you could begin counting the money in the register. 
“And I still mean it. Just add this to the tab,” He said, his obnoxious smirk practically audible through the phone.
“Fine, Rogers you win.” You scoffed, reaching for your phone “I’ll stop by when I’m done.” You hung up and pocketed your phone with a sigh. 
“You headin’ over to Steve’s place?” A voice behind you asked, making you jump. 
“Sam, you scared me,” you said, counting the last of the dollar bills in your hand before compiling it into a neat pile and handing it off to your colleague. “And yes. I have to drop off that box over there.” You nodded toward a medium sized box on a folding chair in the corner of the back room. 
Sam swiftly took the stack from your hand and switched spots with you. “And he couldn’t come because?” 
“Said something about back-to-back bookings,” you replied, standing off to the side and wiping the counter for any remaining crumbs.
“You think his friend is gonna be there?” 
You paused, your movements halting mid-swipe. “I-I don’t know—” The sudden stutter caught you off guard, and you tensed. “What’s with all these questions anyway?” you added, more annoyed than curious.
“Nothing, just…I can take it if you want.” Sam said, slipping some money into a plastic bag and putting the rest in the register before shutting it with a soft click.
“Oh,” you said, feeling silly for your earlier outburst. “Thanks, but that’s okay. There’s some stuff I have to talk to Steve about anyway.” Was that a lie? Sam looked at you. Crap. It was. 
———
The entire walk there, you wracked your brain trying to think of anything you actually needed to talk to Steve about. The books were already paid for, and the pastries were an afterthought—a gesture more for your own sense of courtesy than anything else. There wasn’t anything urgent, not really. 
If you were being honest, Sam could’ve just as easily dropped the box off himself if you’d let him. 
You adjusted the boxes in your arms, and the purse on your shoulder, feeling the rough edge of the worn cardboard dig lightly into your palm. The other box, filled with leftover pastries from the café, teetered slightly on top as you shifted your grip.
The early afternoon sun filtered through the trees lining the sidewalk, casting dappled shadows that danced at your feet. The air was crisp but not biting, a faint breeze carrying the warm scents of bistros and freshly fallen leaves. It was a pleasant enough walk, you supposed, though you couldn’t quite shake the feeling that you were overthinking it. 
Maybe it was Sam’s question that had thrown you off. Or maybe it was the memory of Steve’s friend—the man with the leather jacket and the sharp blue eyes. The way he’d lingered at the counter, quiet and guarded, but somehow impossible to ignore.
You exhaled, shaking your head as if to dislodge the thought.
It doesn’t matter, you told yourself firmly. You’re just doing Steve a favor. That’s it.
Still, as you neared the shop, you shifted the boxes in your hands again, noticing the faint warmth building against your palms. The moisture made the edges of the cardboard feel slicker than they should have, and you tightened your grip to steady them.
When you reached the door, you nudged it open with your back, the faint chime of the bell ringing overhead as you stepped inside.
“Hello?” you called out, your voice cutting through the quiet hum of the tattoo machine in the distance.
You looked around the small tattoo parlor, the black furniture standing out in contrast to the white walls. More stuff had been added since the last time you’d stopped by—large and small plants now decorated the interior, their vibrant greens softening the otherwise sharp and minimalistic space. A new piece of art hung on the far wall, bold lines and intricate designs that drew your attention for a moment before your gaze shifted.
The space felt more lived-in now, more personal, like it wasn’t just a shop but a place someone cared for. The faint hum of the tattoo machine came from one of the rooms in the back, mingling with the subtle scent of antiseptic and something faintly woodsy, maybe a candle burning somewhere out of sight.
“Steven?” you called again, balancing the boxes in your hands as you glanced toward the counter.
It wasn’t unusual for him to be tied up with a client, but the shop felt quieter than usual. Setting the boxes down carefully on the counter, you adjusted the pastry box to the side  before looking around again. 
“Steve?” you called again, your voice louder this time as you leaned slightly over the counter, scanning the back area.
The faint hum of a tattoo machine that buzzed steadily suddenly stopped in the back room, but no one answered. You sighed, stepping back and glancing around the shop once more, your eyes lingering on the plants and new art pieces scattered throughout.
The soft creak of a door caught your attention, and you turned just as someone stepped out from the back.
It wasn’t Steve.
Your breath hitched briefly when you recognized him—the man from the café. Except this time there was no leather jacket adorning his figure, he wasn’t wearing it, just a black t-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. His sharp blue eyes locked onto yours, and for a second, neither of you said anything.
“Oh,” you said finally, trying to mask your surprise. “I thought Steven would be here.” 
“He had to step out.” 
You nodded, pursing your lips as you glanced toward the counter. “I just brought some stuff for him,” you said, gesturing vaguely to the boxes. “Books he ordered. And some leftover pastries from this morning.”
His eyes flicked briefly toward the counter before returning to you. “I’ll make sure he gets them.”
“Thanks,” you murmured, brushing your hands off on your jeans, though they weren’t dusty. The silence stretched for a moment, the faint echo of the tattoo machine still lingering in the air. You shifted slightly, glancing toward the box of pastries before blurting out, “You… can help yourself too… if you want.”
His brow arched slightly, his sharp blue eyes holding yours for just a second longer than you expected. “Appreciate it,” he said simply, his tone even, though you thought you caught the faintest flicker of amusement in his gaze.
You felt your cheeks warm, and your hand drifted to the seam on the side of your jeans, fidgeting with the fabric as though it might keep you steady.
He didn’t move from where he stood, leaning casually against the doorway, his arms crossed over his chest. His steady gaze made your fingers itch, and your nail dragged against the denim fabric audibly now.
That’s when you noticed the black latex glove on his left hand, the stark contrast of it catching your eye. His arm, adorned with intricate tattoos you hadn’t noticed before, drew your attention—the sharp lines and shading that curved around his forearm and bicep were as striking as they were detailed.
When he crossed his arms, the movement only emphasized the muscles beneath the ink, the casual strength in his stance making it hard to look away.
“You’re Steve’s friend, right?” you said, the words leaving your mouth before you could stop them. You’re startled by your own voice, and for a moment you wondered why you hadn’t just left right then and there. 
He didn’t answer right away. His head tilted just slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching like he was deciding whether or not to engage. “Yeah,” he said finally, his voice low and deliberate.
Silence stretched between you again, heavy with something you couldn’t quite place. You nodded as you shifted your weight. “Well... I should get going,” you murmured, your tone quieter now. “Just let Steven know I stopped by.” 
You turned, ready to make your exit, when his voice cut through the stillness.
“Bucky.”
The name came softly, but it carried weight, stopping you mid-step. You froze for a moment before turning back, your brow furrowing slightly. “What?”
His arms were still crossed, the black latex glove on his left hand catching your eye again as he adjusted his stance. “My name,” he said, the words simple but steady. “It’s Bucky.”
“Oh,” you said, feeling the word catch awkwardly in your throat. You glanced at him, searching his face for a moment, then straightened slightly. “Nice to meet you... Bucky.”
The corner of his mouth twitched, not quite a smile but close enough to make your chest feel a little tight. “And you are?”
You hesitated for a second before giving him your name, the sound of it hanging awkwardly between you as you watched for a reaction. 
“Y/N,” he repeated, the weight of your name on his lips making your cheeks flush. Before you could respond, Steve’s voice rang out from the back.
“Hey, glad you made it!”
You turned to see him emerging from the back room, wiping his hands on a rag, his grin easy and familiar. “Y/N, can you bring the books back to my room? I just need to finish cleaning my station.”
“Sure thing,” you replied quickly, eager for something to busy yourself with.
“And Buck, mind ringing up this guy while I handle things over here?” Steve added, gesturing toward the lone customer waiting at the counter.
“Got it,” Bucky replied simply, stepping aside to let you pass.
As you moved toward the back room, you felt his gaze linger a little too long, the weight of it brushing against your skin in a way that made your steps falter slightly. You didn’t look back, though the heat crawling up your neck made you wish you had.
Bucky’s focus only shifted when Steve cleared his throat, nodding toward the counter. His sharp gaze flicked toward Steve, a quick, pointed look passing between them, before he turned to handle the transaction, his movements deliberate but unhurried.
You stepped into the back room, the soft scuff of your shoes blending with the faint hum of the tattoo machine in the distance. Steve was already moving to clear off a cluttered table, his grin easy as ever.
“Thanks for doing this,” he said, nodding toward the box of books you carried.
“Don’t mention it,” you replied, setting the box down carefully. “Though you might want to remember I’ve been keeping track, and it looks like you’ll be paying me back for the rest of your life.”
Steve let out a short laugh, shaking his head. “You’re relentless.”
You smirked. “And you’re lucky I’m nice.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he teased, pushing off the doorframe. “Thanks again, Y/N. Seriously.”
His sincerity caught you slightly off guard, but you brushed it off with a shrug. “No problem, Stevie.” 
He raised his hand, palm out, and you met it halfway with an easy high five, your fingers curling briefly around his in a quick dap before you stepped back with a small smile. “See you later,”  he said with a grin as you turned toward the doorway.
Pausing just before stepping out, you peeked your head into the front room, your eyes scanning the space. The customer was gone, and so was Bucky. The faint creak of the office door swinging shut must’ve been him slipping into the other room.
Relieved, you stepped fully into the front of the shop, adjusting the strap of your bag over your shoulder as you made your way to the front. Walking past the counter you caught sight of the pastry box slightly skewed with the lid ajar, the faintest crack catching your attention. Frowning, you reached out to fix it, fingers brushing over the edge as you led it back into place. That’s when you noticed it—a missing pastry. 
Your hand stilled, your pulse quickening despite yourself. Powdered sugar clung to the rim of the cardboard box, and littered the counter surface, a subtle, almost careless trace left behind. 
Your chest tightened, a flicker of heat creeping up your neck. It could’ve been the customer... but your mind stubbornly circled back to someone else. You shook your head, brushing the thought away as you made sure you had your things. The stillness of the space was broken by the low hum of the tattoo machine, its steady buzz filling the air once more.
The bell above the door jingled softly as you stepped out into the cool air, the lingering warmth of the shop clinging to you. Even as you walked down the street, the faint image of sharp blue eyes and a missing pastry hovered in your mind, refusing to fade completely.
----
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crapeaucrapeau · 1 day ago
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Oh gosh, I love this so much, because it’s a handy, albeit slightly awkward, way for the writers to drop lore on the different species and especially what would be considered the standard thinking and expectations from species to species. It’s particularly interesting that Garrus blabs so much run-of-the-mill turian prejudice while at the same time the entire point of his character, even back then in ME1, is that he isn’t and is in fact unable of being your average/normal/expected turian.
More thoughts, and bonus quotes under the cut.
Bonus quotes (Source ; Transcription differs sometimes from subtitles in video because frequently the game subtitles don’t exactly match the voice-over). I’m keeping the numbering from @servantofclio so it could be interesting to collate our posts together, but only if they are okay with it :
Kaidan & Ashley
0.
Ashley : The Council isn’t going to ask me any questions, are they ?
Kaidan : I doubt it. We’ve made our reports. Now we just have to trust Ambassador Udina.
Ashley : No we don’t, sir.
(In context, probably before the first meeting with the Council. Hence, “0.” ! No idea why Ashley is immediately dismissive of Udina - family prejudice against politicians ?)
4.
Ashley : Am I imagining things, LT, or are your abilities getting stronger ?
Kaidan : I’ve always held back a little when I used my powers on living targets. Fear of hurting someone I guess. But after what I saw on Eden Prime, I’m not holding back anymore. Not against the geth, not against anyone.
I’m pretty sure that’s the in-game explanation as to why Kaidan, someone who completed his biotic training long ago and therefore should have a stable power level, is levelling up throughout ME1.
5.
Kaidan : Hearing about the Protheans makes me wonder if some distant civilization is going to find our artifacts someday and study us.
Ashley : No, sir. When some distant civilization finds our artifacts, we’ll be right there to explain what they are.
Kaidan : I hope so, Williams, but I’ll bet the Protheans thought the same thing.
6.
Kaidan : So, Williams, are you happy you signed on with Commander Shepard ?
Ashley : I’m not sure, Lieutenant. Every time I think I have a handle on things, the universe banks hard to port.
Kaidan : Well, don’t let anybody know. A big gun and a confident attitude will get you through a lot in life.
7.
Ashley : It’s strange. The geth are attacking, and everyone around here is still worried about ordinary business.
Kaidan : It’s politics, Williams. The Council won’t raise the alarm until they’re certain about the threat.
Ashley : The threat ? Did they not see the vids of Eden Prime ? See, this is why I hate politics.
I really like how Kaidan & Ashley are arguably moderate/realistic examples of Paragon and Renegade as something more human and humane than just a rehash of Light Side/Dark Side - Kaidan focusing on the bigger picture and showing a greater awareness of the ways the galaxy works (#0, #1) but being a little naively trusting with the people in power (#0, #7) and overall taking a long view even existentially (#5) - Ashley more than a little cynical but enough to be realistic (#0), outraged by the difference between the way things are and they way they ought to be (#7) and overall unwilling to consider the possibility of things she wouldn’t like to be true (#5).
Kaidan & Ashley get the most exchanges together (8) out of all ME1 companions !
Kaidan & Tali
4.
Tali : Is it true humans stopped using the biotic implants you were fitted with, Lieutenant ?
Kaidan : My headaches can be pretty bad, and I’m one of the lucky L2 implants. The L3′s are safer.
Tali : That makes sense. What use is harnessing that power if it causes more harm than good to your people ?
In contrast to the krogan and turian perspectives, Tali is the only non-human companion who approves the Alliance’s choice of discontinuing the L3′s (Liara has a completely different exchange with Kaidan).
5.
Tali : Biotics are rare among quarians. I don’t believe I’ve seen anyone except the asari with your strength, Lieutenant.
Kaidan : I’ve always held back a little when I used my powers on living targets. Fear of hurting someone I guess. But after what I saw on Eden Prime, I’m not holding back anymore. Not against the geth, not against anyone.
Casual confirmation that quarian biotics do exist, btw.
6.
Kaidan : Hearing about the Protheans makes me wonder if some distant civilization is going to find our artifacts someday and study us.
Tali : The worlds we abandoned when the geth revolted serve as just such an example. It is a reminder of our mortality.
Kaidan : I’m not afraid to die. I guess I just want to be remembered by more than a few trinkets in a ruin somewhere.
Ashley & Tali
5.
Ashley : I’ve heard some humans are angry at the quarians after the attack on Eden Prime. After all, you created the geth.
Tali : The geth killed billions and forced us from our homeworld. Most quarians believe we have paid properly for our mistake.
Ashley : Hopefully having you with us fighting Saren will change people’s minds.
That’s verbatim the same exchange as Kaidan & Tali #1. Overall, there are more than a few exchanges where Kaidan and Ashley have the same dialogue and are interchangeable ; surprisingly, you also have instances where Liara & Tali have identical dialogue (see below).
6.
Ashley : Hey Tali, I heard a rumor that under those environmental suits, you quarians are partially synthetic.
Tali : No. Living in the clean environment of the flotilla has weakened our immune systems. The environmental suits protect against diseases.
Ashley : It still makes you look a little like a geth, though. I’m just saying.
The conversations between Tali and Ashley are… awkward, and more than a little racist in #6, with Ashley showing she doesn’t understand how prejudice work in #3 (People are prejudiced against quarians because you don’t stay anywhere long enough for them to know you. => If you stayed put long enough people would like you, they wouldn’t be prejudiced against you.). Ashley’s prejudice, however, is informed by her blatant lack of experience and her obliviousness, and like @servantofclio notes there is genuine concern for Tali’s well-being in #3. Compare the same conversation with Garrus in Ashley’s stead (Garrus & Tali #6) and it’s quite different.
Kaidan & Garrus
6.
Kaidan : Hearing about the Protheans makes me wonder if some distant civilization is going to find our artifacts someday and study us.
Garrus : All empires fall, Lieutenant. We can only hope that what we leave behind inspires respect and admiration.
!!! That’s interesting ! Because at this point of the OT, Garrus appears to be very much a “vanilla” turian in terms of opinions (reflecting his relative inexperience) if not in term of attitude and behavior. So : is this the opinion prevalent in the Turian Hierarchy ? Yes ? Probably ?
What’s interesting is that this is very much an echo of the turian attitude towards individual turians themselves : everyone is expected to be a hero and ready to sacrifice everything if need be - to die for the cause. In a sense, the turian attitude toward their own society would be the same : all polities are doomed to die, all empires fall - but their actions and works will outlast them, and their worth will be measured by what they’ve done.
(It’s also not a sentiment I’d imagine from other species, with perhaps the exception of the asari, though I’m not convinced. Among people IRL, the very idea that one day your society will disappear and that, should your species endure, they will believe in things and do things and experience life in ways completely alien to what you believe essential, is not something I’ve ever heard.)
Garrus & Ashley
6.
Ashley : Saren was one of the most respected turians in the galaxy, Garrus. Are you going to be okay going up against him ?
Garrus : Saren is either a traitor or a madman. Taking him down will restore the good name of turians everywhere.
Ashley : Just keep saying that. Especially to humans. We’ve got a lot of angry people right now.
7.
Garrus : I’d love to see what the Normandy can do in a fight.
Ashley : The Normandy isn’t built for a stand-up fight. I’d rather rely on the IES than the shields.
Garrus : But the stealth drive adds a new tactical level to space combat as we know it. Surprise attacks, undetected flanking maneuvers…
Ashley : I don’t know, Garrus. I’d rather not be the first one up the ladder in terms of figuring out new tactics.
Both exchanges are identical when Kaidan reacts instead to Garrus’s prompt (Kaidan & Garrus #4 and #5, respectively).
Garrus & Tali
5.
Garrus : I’d love to see what the Normandy can do in a fight.
Tali : How so ? The Normandy is built for stealth, not combat.
Garrus : But the stealth drive adds a new tactical level to space combat as we know it. Surprise attacks, undetected flanking maneuvers…
Tali : If it comes to a fight, I’d prefer a flotilla ship. It’s easier to trust what you’ve worked on yourself.
6.
Garrus : You seem to be attracting unwanted attention, Tali. Several passersby were staring at you.
Tali : Many think less of quarians for traveling in the flotilla, and for creating the geth. They see us as scavengers, little better than thieves.
Garrus : It is natural for people to dislike rootless wanderers. If quarians would just settle another homeworld, you would not run into such concerns.
I had completely forgotten how insulting and racist Garrus is in ME1 toward Tali. Ashley gets so much heat, but this is indisputably worse. #1 is saying the quarians should still feel ashamed over the geth, and #6 here lacks the concern Ashley had in her own exchange and argues that the quarians are to blame for the racism they face since they obviously do not want (“just”) to settle a new planet. 
Note : #6 only makes sense if this comes up before Garrus & Tali #2 - in which case #2 shows the first step in the evolution of their relationship.
Kaidan & Wrex
5.
Wrex : Your biotics are coming along nicely. In the last fight, it looked like you even surprised yourself.
Kaidan : I’ve always held back a little when I used my powers on living targets. Fear of hurting someone I guess. But after what I saw on Eden Prime, I’m not holding back anymore. Not against the geth, not against anyone.
6.
Kaidan : Hearing about the Protheans makes me wonder if some distant civilization is going to find our artifacts someday and study us.
Wrex : Feeling mortal, Alenko ?
Kaidan : I’m not afraid to die. I guess I just want to be remembered by more than a few trinkets in a ruin somewhere.
Ashley & Wrex
I have to say that I’m all for the interpretation that Wrex might be casually flirting with Ashley when he says that fighting with women gives the fight a different… flavour~
4.
Ashley : I haven’t spent much time with any krogan before you, Wrex. I have to say, you’re not what I expected.
Wrex : Right. Because you humans have a wide range of cultures and attitudes, but krogan all think and act exactly alike.
Ashley : Look, I didn’t mean… Just forget I said anything.
Wrex : Done.
Identical exchange with Kaidan instead of Ashley (Kaidan & Wrex #1).
5.
Ashley : It’s strange. The geth are attacking, and everyone around here is still worried about ordinary business.
Wrex : Let them stay ignorant. If our mission reaches the point where these people need to worry about the geth, we’ve already lost.
6.
Wrex : So tell me, who’d win in a fight between you and Shepard ?
Ashley : What ? Commander Shepard is my superior officer. I can’t imagine us ever having to fight.
Wrex : You can’t ? That’s why Shepard’s your superior officer. And that’s why Shepard would win.
Identical exchange with Kaidan instead of Ashley (Kaidan & Wrex #2).
Wrex & Tali
I found no additional dialogue !
Garrus & Wrex
4.
Wrex : So tell me, who’d win in a fight between you and Shepard ?
Garrus : That question smacks of impertinence. Commander Shepard is a Spectre with a distinguished service record.
Wrex : So was Saren. Think about it.
Here is a prime example of “Stick up his arse” Garrus of ME1. As with so many things Garrus says during those elevator conversations, you get the feeling you’re getting the vanilla Hierarchy response.
5.
Garrus : I’d love to see what the Normandy can do in a fight.
Wrex : Only an idiot hopes for combat while flying in a stealth ship.
Garrus : But the stealth drive adds a new tactical level to space combat as we know it. Surprise attacks, undetected flanking maneuvers…
Wrex : This isn’t a strategy simulation. If those new tactics don’t work, we’re salvage.
6.
Wrex : So how about it, Garrus ? Is this better than C-Sec ?
Garrus : Fighting a rogue Spectre with countless lives at stake and no regulations to get in the way ? I’d say that beats C-Sec.
Wrex : There may just be hope for you yet, turian.
Just about the only exchange where Wrex is not insulting (usually with good reason) toward Garrus. Obviously, it’s over the most Garrus-like and the least Hierarchy-approved opinion yet. #4 above is not a compliment, but it’s more caring perhaps, more gentle than expected given other replies.
Kaidan & Liara
5.
Liara : Is it true that your biotic implants cause headaches, Lieutenant ? I know some meditation exercises that might help.
Kaidan : Thanks, Liara. I’d appreciate that. Makes me wonder what it would have been like to have asari tutors instead of turians.
Liara : Given the attitude most young human males display toward my people, it seems turians were the best choice.
It’s a 100% unique variation on the standard Kaidan exchange over the L2′s. Unlike other companions, Liara immediately offers some help which Kaidan welcomes to the point he gives her a compliment… only for Liara to have this very awkward reaction. Is it a way to not sully the good name of turians ??
But we do get the explicit affirmation that asari are wary of “most young human males”, which actually grounds an observation which is accurate at least for ME3 : most background couples you see with an asari and a human are overwhelmingly with a human woman.
6.
Kaidan : So, Liara, you’ve spent fifty years studying Prothean ruins and artifacts?
Liara : Our travels now are somewhat different from my normal excavations. I would prefer lengthier studies… and fewer explosions.
Kaidan : I think you’ve spoken for scientists everywhere, Liara.
OK, @dr-jekyl I found my source for saying that Liara started university around age 50 ! Huzzah ! (Note : Wrex, in his own conversation variant, calls it “your entire adult life” but that doesn’t mean he would necessarily know better.)
Liara & Ashley
3.
Ashley : So, Doctor T’Soni, are all asari biotics ? I heard Lieutenant Alenko say something about you not needing implants.
Liara : While the asari have natural biotics abilities, not all have the desire to learn to use their abilities effectively.
Ashley : Wow - to have so many potential biotics that people can choose not to train… I imagine the lieutenant would be jealous.
4.
Liara : All this violence sometimes catches me by surprise. I imagine that your military training prepared you for it, Chief Williams.
Ashley : Uh, trying to take down a rogue Spectre and his army of synthetics ? No, they didn’t cover this in Basic.
5.
Liara : Is it common for human women to be front-rank fighters, Chief Williams? I know that salarian women do not serve in the military.
Ashley : It’s becoming more common, but it took a long time to prove that “ladies” could handle an assault rifle or a shotgun.
Liara : Such enforced roles are common in dual-sexed societies. I was fortunate not to have to deal with that particular burden.
More ME1 sweetness of “Liara and asari aren’t women”, and also the suggestion that at least one more society beyond humans and salarians has a form of patriarchy/matriarchy.
It’s unclear whether Liara’s assertion about salarian women means that they are legally barred from enlisting or if they are traditionally and socially discouraged from doing so. Given that the very universalist phrasing seems to belie the possibility of outliers, I’d argue the former is likelier.
6.
Ashley : It’s strange. The geth are attacking, and everyone around here is still worried about ordinary business.
Liara : I find it comforting. The pain and joy of ordinary life… that is what we are fighting to protect.
Tali & Liara
5.
Liara : I could not help but notice that you are attracting some unfriendly stares, Tali.
Tali : Many think less of quarians for traveling in the flotilla, and for creating the geth. They see us as scavengers, little better than thieves.
Liara : That is an ignorant opinion. Quarian explorers have uncovered more mass relays than any other race !
Tali : I'm glad that some still remember the contributions my people have made.
THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE EXCHANGE ON THE WHOLE DAMN CITADEL.
OKAY. Okay. We get a ton of information ; most noteworthy of all, we get an actual tidbit of information about pre-geth quarian history, which is basically unheard of, and we get information about the history of the galaxy overall, and Liara is indignant and being a very good friend !
(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)
6.
Liara : I am curious about the helmet you always wear, Tali. Does it contain technical augmentation systems ?
Tali : No. Living in the clean environment of the flotilla has weakened our immune systems. The environmental suits protect against diseases.
Liara : I suppose that makes it more likely you will return from your Pilgrimage, then. You are only truly safe on your flotilla.
The above is very interesting, as Liara is being empathetic in a very intellectual way (a very Liara way) with Tali, but nonetheless going beyond
The exchanges between Tali and Liara are unique among exchanges with Tali in that they are 100% free of tension or hostility or awkwardness (barely an inch behind is Kaidan, who has the disadvantage of knowing less than Liara about quarians, when #5 shows that Liara knows more about quarians, or at least quarian history, than the average galactic denizen). Surprisingly, given that they have very little interaction altogether over the course of the OT, Liara numbers among the most empathetic companions with Tali, alongside Kaidan and Wrex.
It’s worth keeping in mind, I think, that during ME1, Tali and Liara are the only companions who are civilians.
Liara & Garrus
4.
Garrus : You must welcome civilization after spending such a long time in the Prothean ruins.
Liara : No. Cities and stations were always my mother’s area of comfort. I actually enjoy the solitude of dig sites.
Garrus : After seeing so many asari come through the Citadel, I assumed your people preferred large cities. I apologize.
5.
Garrus : With all this exploration of Prothean culture, this must be like a survey for you, Liara.
Liara : Our travels now are somewhat different from my normal excavations. I would prefer lengthier studies… and fewer explosions.
Garrus : The loss of all this Prothean technology is just one more thing Saren will have to pay for.
6. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2a5aVDRWEU)
Liara : Now that you’ve experienced a Spectre’s life firsthand, Garrus, do you regret leaving your security position ?
Garrus : Fighting a rogue Spectre with countless lives at stake and no regulations to get in the way ? I’d say that beats C-Sec.
Liara : I am unsure how the imminent destruction of all organic life “beats” anything, but your enthusiasm is comforting nonetheless.
I entirely concur with @servantofclio‘s judgement in their own post : Garrus is uniquely respectful, even deferential, toward Liara (and apologizing unprompted both in #2 and #4). Here I’m pretty sure it’s standard Citadel privilege and racism (and Garrus’s relative inexperience, and probably Hierarchy standards of politeness), because Garrus in those exchanges is polite with a companion proportionately to the “standing” of that companion’s species : respectful (hell, even eager to please in #2) with the asari ; relaxed with the humans (albeit occasionally patronizing) ; insulting and dismissive with the quarians and the krogan.
Liara & Wrex
3.
Liara : You are unlike the other krogan I have met, Wrex. You do not share the bloodlust of your people.
Wrex : When you’re young, you go looking for every fight you can. You get older, you realize that the best fights find you.
That exchange is about 85% identical to the one Wrex has with Tali on the same subject (“You are not like other krogan.”), and more importantly, Wrex’s response is not bitterly mocking and insulted as the (same) response he gives to the same observation from Kaidan or Ashley (and he absolutely destroys Garrus). Why ? I think that the answer isn’t the same for Liara and Tali : in Tali’s exchange (Wrex & Tali #3), Tali, like Ashley and Kaidan, admits that she has never met krogan before, but unlike them she is self-aware enough to understand that what she thought was true was a stereotype, hence why the first thing she tells Wrex is a preemptive apology (“forgive the impertinence”). Liara meanwhile has met other krogan, making her observation a factual one.
I think those are pretty good examples of Wrex’s nuances, and especially how he values those who keep a sense of perspective and don’t let themselves get blinded by their own prejudices (see Wrex & Tali #1, but also how readily he moves on from Kaidan/Ashley offending him once they acknowledge they were wrong).
4.
Wrex : So tell me, who’d win in a fight between you and Shepard ?
Liara : Do krogan size up everyone for a fight, even friends and allies ?
Wrex : Yes.
Exchange identical to Wrex & Tali #4.
5.
Wrex : Your biotics are pretty powerful. Are all asari that strong ?
Liara : While the asari have natural biotics abilities, not all have the desire to learn to use their abilities effectively.
Wrex : All that power, and some asari don’t use it ? You could’ve conquered the galaxy if you wanted to.
Liara : Evidently, we do not want to.
Uniquely, this variation of the exchange with Liara over asari biotics prompts a reply from Liara after the other companion’s reaction (here, Wrex’s). It’s something fandom tends to forget and not focus about gee, why but the asari are the single most powerful society of the OT, and they’re all the more impressive for not wanting what the humans, turians, krogan and probably salarians would immediately do in their position.
6.
Wrex : Being in the city must feel good after digging through rocks at that Prothean ruin.
Liara : No. Cities and stations were always my mother’s area of comfort. I actually enjoy the solitude of dig sites.
Wrex : I’m surprised. I’ve never met an asari who didn’t prefer clean clothes and a hot bath.
New Aleena lore drop, I guess ? Possibly new Aria lore. Your mileage may vary.
Also, this certainly counts as a lore drop on the way asari like to clean themselves (hot baths !).
Indexing
Basically, the elevator dialogues follow a format where each companion has a set of specific reactions conveying one central piece of information, either prompted by the other companion or to which the other companion reacts. Sometimes depending on companions, you can have a little extra reaction. Each of the six ME1 companion has their own three sets of possible interactions with the other five companions*, for a total of six** possible interactions for each pair of characters.
* : Mostly.
** : There are exceptions.
The exceptions are Kaidan & Ashley #0 and #1, which appear to be obligate interactions before and after the first interview with the Council. Kaidan & Ashley #2 has no equivalent but is probably tangentially related at least to what I call Ashley-C.
Garrus & Ashley #5 and Kaidan & Ashley #2 are both unique and do not fit either into the indexing scheme outlined above and detailed below ; while the former is clearly dictated by the situation in ME1 (Garrus has already been recruited, but Saren hasn’t been exposed yet), the latter could presumably be spoken at any time. This suggests that there might be more bits out there
I’ll assign those core, unchanging bits of dialogue letter tags (A, B, C) at random, mostly to keep track of who’s speaking what.
KAIDAN
Kaidan-A : Kaidan and his L2 implants (headaches) => Kaidan & Ashley #3, Kaidan & Tali #4, Kaidan & Garrus #2, Kaidan & Wrex #4, Kaidan & Liara #5. Interestingly, there is a unique variation with Liara, but the interaction with Ashley is so distinct from the others the only thing it has in common with it is the topic and the word “headaches”. Probably because Ashley, as a human, can’t possibly be discovering what L2 implants are.
Kaidan-B : Kaidan’s biotics are getting stronger (no longer holding back) => Kaidan & Ashley #4, Kaidan & Tali #5, Kaidan & Garrus #3, Kaidan & Wrex #5, Kaidan & Liara #2. A very bland exchange, with every companion basically saying the same thing and Kaidan literally replying the same thing.
Kaidan-C : The Protheans make Kaidan wonder whether humanity will end up disappearing as well (what will I leave behind) => Kaidan & Ashley #5, Kaidan & Tali #6, Kaidan & Garrus #6, Kaidan & Wrex #6, Kaidan & Liara #1. That interaction with Ashley prompts a unique response from Kaidan. Meanwhile, Garrus’s reply prompts no answer from Kaidan, uniquely - maybe because what Garrus says is already very much in line with what Kaidan is thinking.
ASHLEY
Ashley-A : Ashley doesn’t understand why no one seems worried by the geth. => Kaidan & Ashley #7, Ashley & Tali #2, Garrus & Ashley #2, Ashley & Wrex #5, Liara & Ashley #6. Uniquely, Kaidan’s reply is the only one that prompts a response from Ashley.
Ashley-B : Ashley doesn’t think her training prepared her for the ME1 situation => Kaidan & Ashley #6, Ashley & Tali #4, Garrus & Ashley #3, Ashley & Wrex #2, Liara & Ashley #4. As with Kaidan-B, a somewhat bland exchange - with one major exception : Kaidan & Ashley #6 has uniquely phrased dialogue and while Ashley’s answer is substantially the same, she appears far more vulnerable there. However, I’d argue that what’s interesting is what each of the other five companions reveals about their own perspective and what they value, usually in a pretty succinct but meaningful way : Kaidan is basically “Fake It And You Will Make It” ; Garrus is basically curious about how military training might differ between humans and turians ; Tali is not used at all to fighting and assumes a career soldier like Ashley must be more at ease ; Wrex is dryly joking around ; and Liara, the other civilian aboard Normandy, echoes Tali’s perspective.
Ashley-C : Ashley explains how human women had to fight to get into the military. => n/a for Kaidan & Ashley, Ashley & Tali #1, Garrus & Ashley #4, Ashley & Wrex #1, Liara & Ashley #5. Tali’s reply uniquely prompts a (somewhat awkward) answer from Ashley. Naturally, given the topic, that is not a subject Kaidan could inquire about ; hence why Kaidan & Ashley #2 stands out as a unique exchange, as it “fills up” the missing exchange slot. As it implies (?) that Kaidan is attracted to asari - a slightly recurrent theme throughout ME1 - it is broadly in line with the male/female human divide that is the theme of Ashley-C.
TALI
Tali-A : How do quarians feel about creating the geth ? (the quarians have paid enough) => Kaidan & Tali #1, Ashley & Tali #5, Garrus & Tali #1, Wrex & Tali #2, Tali & Liara #3. The exchanges with Kaidan and Ashley are identical. The exchange with Liara uses the same stock response Tali uses with Kaidan and Ashley, but interestingly, the two exchanges with Garrus and Wrex are both unique, and have Tali focus on the genophage instead.
Tali-B : People are being hostile with Tali because she’s a quarian (anti-quarian prejudice). => Kaidan & Tali #3, Ashley & Tali #3, Garrus & Tali #6, Wrex & Tali #1, Tali & Liara #5. Interestingly, the exchanges with Kaidan and Ashley start identically, but diverge completely in their replies to Tali’s answer. With Wrex and Tali, the exchanges remain pretty generic, but Garrus’s reply is the least empathetic of the five, while Wrex’s is the most empathetic. Tied with Wrex, however, we have Liara’s, who is outraged - it’s the only exchange to prompt a second line of dialogue from Tali, and it reveals some new lore on quarian and galactic history.
Tali-C : Why do you wear a helmet, Tali ? (quarian immune systems) => Kaidan & Tali #2, Ashley & Tali #6, Garrus & Tali #2, Wrex & Tali #6, Tali & Liara #6. Contrary to the previous two sets of exchanges, the conversations with Kaidan and Ashley are as distinct as any other companion’s elevator dialogue. As previously mentioned, Garrus’s only makes sense if it occurs after his version of Tali-B, Garrus & Tali #6.
GARRUS
Garrus-A : Garrus doesn’t regret leaving C-Sec. => Kaidan & Garrus #1, Garrus & Ashley #1, Garrus & Tali #3, Garrus & Wrex #6, Liara & Garrus #6. Nothing noteworthy here : all characters react to Garrus, informing the player of their own priorities (which may be why it’s the only exchange about Garrus where Kaidan and Ashley don’t say the same thing).
Garrus-B : Garrus is eager to take down Saren (restore the good name of turians). => Kaidan & Garrus #4, Garrus & Ashley #6, Garrus & Tali #4, Garrus & Wrex #2, Liara & Garrus #1. As previously stated, the conversations with Kaidan or Ashley are identical. Liara’s reply has a unique twist - she didn’t presume Garrus might have qualms over hunting Saren because Saren is a fellow turian but because Garrus respects/adores Spectres.
Garrus-C : Garrus would love to see what the Normandy could do in a fight (potential of stealth ships in warfare). => Kaidan & Garrus #5, Garrus & Ashley #7, Garrus & Tali #5, Garrus & Wrex #5, Liara & Garrus #3. The exchanges with Kaidan and Ashley are identical. Uniquely, Garrus-C is the only exchange with four lines of dialogues for all five possible participants.
WREX
Wrex-A : Wrex’s companions think he is unlike other krogan. => Kaidan & Wrex #1, Ashley & Wrex #4, Wrex & Tali #3, Garrus & Wrex #1, Liara & Wrex #3. As previously mentioned, Ashley and Kaidan’s versions of that exchange are identical (they’re 4-line-long, whereas the others are 2-line-long), and Wrex replies in the same way to both Tali and Liara. His answer to Garrus is uniquely aggressive.
Wrex-B : Wrex wants to know who’d win in a fight against Shepard. => Kaidan & Wrex #2, Ashley & Wrex #6, Wrex & Tali #4, Wrex & Garrus #4, Liara & Wrex #4. Likewise, Kaidan and Ashley’s versions of that exchange are strictly identical, but this time Liara’s and Tali’s also form an identical pair. Garrus’s, while very close in substance to Ashley/Kaidan’s, is unique.
Wrex-C : Wrex doesn’t mind fighting other krogan (favor to the universe). => Kaidan & Wrex #3, Ashley & Wrex #3, Wrex & Tali #5, Wrex & Garrus #3, Liara & Wrex #1. Man, even here Ashley and Kaidan’s versions are identical. Tali and Liara say the same thing in a different way and get the same reply as with everyone else. Again, Garrus is set apart : while Wrex gives the same reply, it is preceded by a unique introduction : “You don’t get it. For all your talk of honor and pride, the turians never had to test their principles in a real struggle.” The logical connection to the rest of the reply is not self-explanatory.
Overall, Wrex gets the least diverse quotes in his own set, but is more likely to say something different than Garrus or Liara, who will always give their stock responses. Tali can give truly unique answers, but she will say the same things more often than Wrex.
LIARA
Liara-A : Liara explains asari biotics to her companions (desire to learn). => Kaidan & Liara #3, Liara & Ashley #3, Tali & Liara #1, Liara & Garrus #2, Liara & Wrex #5. Here, there is no instance of repeated dialogue beside Liara’s stock response, which is unchanged for all five companions. However, unlike everyone else, Wrex prompts a second reply from Liara in a fourth line of dialogue (“Evidently we do not want to.”).
Liara-B : Liara does not like cities and stations (prefers the solitude of dig sites). => Kaidan & Liara #4, Liara & Ashley #2, Tali & Liara #2, Liara & Garrus #4, Liara & Wrex #6. Kaidan and Ashley share the same initial prompt but differ in their final reactions. Likewise, Tali and Garrus share prompts but have different final reactions. Wrex is the only one to get his own prompt and reaction.
Liara-C : Liara’s usual studies of the Protheans (less explosions please). => Kaidan & Liara #6, Liara & Ashley #1, Tali & Liara #4, Liara & Garrus #5, Liara & Wrex #2. Kaidan and Ashley’s parts of their dialogues are 100% identical. Tali and Garrus share prompts but have different final reactions. Again, Wrex stands out for his unique variations throughout.
Thank you so much for all this, @servantofclio ! I’d love to hear what you have to say on the few clippings I found like you did on all of those you compiled !
Mass Effect 1 Elevator Dialogues
All right, here it is!
First, some disclaimers:
I believe these transcripts to be accurate, but some errors may have crept in.
I do not believe these transcripts to be complete. You can see for yourselves that some pairs of characters have more dialogues than others; I’m fairly sure some exchanges are missing, in spite of my attempts to find them on youtube.
If you know of exchanges that I have missed, I would be happy to know about transcripts or video of them so I can add them to this post. I am not, however, in a position to play the game endlessly to get particular exchanges to fire.
I could not resist adding brief commentary, which represents only my own opinions.
You will notice that there is some repeated dialogue – some characters’ lines can occur in combination with several other characters. I would guess this is partly an economy on Bioware’s part, and partly to increase the probability that certain information comes across.
Thank you to @hoarous, @syzara, and @thelastunicorg for helping point me toward relevant video. Also for @jadesabre301 and @omegastation, who expressed interest in seeing transcripts.
The following post is long, about 3600 words, and is after the cut, with exchanges sorted by pair of characters. The numbers are just for reference; I don’t think the dialogue necessarily triggers in that order.
Keep reading
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moonlitwitchdaisy · 11 hours ago
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“nice piece, isn’t it?” your ex-husband finally spoke to the man sitting beside him, the one who had been staring at you like he wanted to devour you for minutes now.
his tone wasn’t angry at all; in fact, he sounded like they were close friends, joking casually. there wasn’t even a hint of murderous intent in his voice.
the man, who had been staring at you like he was in a trance, didn’t even glance at gojo as he replied, “rare to find one like that.” he chuckled as if he’d said something incredibly funny and took a sip of his drink.
it wasn’t funny. at least, not to gojo.
your ex-husband didn’t let his expression slip; instead, he laughed at the man’s words, clinking his glass against his in agreement. he wasn’t particularly fond of drinking, but tonight, he needed it more than anything else.
first, it was friday night, and you’d come to this bar with your friends—a bar full of men who wanted nothing more than to fuck you.
second, you were wearing the shortest and most beautiful light blue dress in existence. (you’d chosen it because it was the same shade as his eyes, making him think you hadn’t forgotten him.)
third, from his seat at a table a little removed from yours—where he could still see you—he’d noticed that not only was he watching you like some pervert, but the guy beside him was eyeing you too. it took everything in him not to smash his head in.
he knew he was just as much a creep as the guy, but he also knew that no other man had the right to look at you like that. no one but him. no matter what had happened between the two of you, no one else could ogle your legs or the parts of your chest that your dress left exposed.
the man finally turned to gojo, offering his hand in introduction and stating his name. your ex-husband didn’t hesitate to shake his hand, a friendly grin on his face, and said, “satoru gojo.”
“we’ve just met, i know, but why are you alone?” the man’s gaze roamed over gojo, lingering on the black cap covering his unmistakable white hair. “no offense, but you’re one hell of a handsome bastard. god’s favorite, i’m sure. seems crazy for a guy like you to be drinking alone.”
if he hadn’t been ogling you like a meal, gojo might’ve actually liked him. there wasn’t much he enjoyed more than hearing others praise how good he looked.
except for hearing it from you.
“why can’t someone like me, come to a bar to drink alone?”
the man laughed, taking another sip of his drink. “you should be surrounded by girls all the time, but instead, you're here, blocking guys like me from having a shot.”
gojo barely held back a hearty laugh. he never thought he’d laugh so much at a guy he wanted to strangle. “divorced a year ago. guess i’m not god’s favorite anymore. if i were, i wouldn’t be here. i’d be inside her right now.”
that was, without a doubt, his favorite place to be.
the man looked at gojo with a hint of sympathy. “shit, you sound like you miss her, man.”
he missed you. more than anything.
the man placed a hand on gojo’s shoulder like a supportive friend. “you know what? screw that whore, man. if she lost a guy like you, that’s on her. plenty of hot things in here tonight to take your mind off it.”
“whore?” huh… keeping himself from killing this guy was getting harder by the second. who did he think he was to call you that? what he’d do if he found out he just called the woman he’s been staring at for hours a whore?
the man had no idea he’d just dug his own grave.
“is that so?” gojo’s gaze drifted back to your table. you were laughing at something your friend had said, looking incredibly happy. but gojo could tell you were bored out of your mind and wanted to go home.
“hell yeah,” the man grinned, leaning in closer to gojo. “you got your eye on anyone?”
he did. just you.
a fire of possession ignited in gojo’s eyes. “maybe.”
the man followed gojo’s gaze. “haha, so you’re after the one i’ve been watching, huh? normally, i don’t share, but i like you, my friend. you deserve to blow off some steam with a nice pussy after a year.” the guy laughed as he leaned away, motioning to the bartender to refill his drink.
you were never his. you hadn’t been anyone’s. no one could share you because you belonged to one person and one person only. even if your marriage was over, no one else could even think about touching you.
and gojo was definitely not this guy’s friend.
“maybe i do deserve it,” gojo bit the inside of his cheek to contain his anger.
“bet she’s tight as hell and warm too. i mean, damn, those legs around your waist must feel amazing.”
oh, you were tight and warm, all right. gojo knew that firsthand. he remembered every time he’d fucked you senseless—how your legs would lock around his waist, your toes curling, your walls gripping him as you came undone. there wasn’t a single thing about you he’d forgotten.
gojo took a hard sip of his drink. “absolutely. and those perfect lips of hers? let’s just say she knows how to make a man see heaven while she’s on her knees. i’d fuck her throat until tears streamed down her face, and she’d still take all of me.”
“fuck, dude, you really want her. hope she doesn’t have a boyfriend. though, if she’s wearing a dress that short, i doubt it. no guy with a brain would let his girl wear something like that.”
no, he wouldn’t. and he hadn’t. in fact, your fights about this were one of the reasons for your divorce. but the real reason sat beside him now—your ex-husband knew exactly what kind of creeps were out there and felt the need to protect you from them.
the smile on gojo’s face finally faded. “trust me, i wasn’t allowing it.”
the man looked at him, confused. “you weren’t?”
gojo tore his gaze away from you and turned those dangerously piercing blue eyes to him. “yeah. who would want to offer the woman they love to guys like you on a silver platter?”
“what the fuck are you saying?” the man asked, his voice trembling as he noticed the lethal glint in gojo’s eyes.
“the tight, warm pussy you’re dying to fuck belongs to my ex-wife.” gojo leaned in closer to the man, the urge to strangle him growing stronger with every passing second.
“are you fucking crazy?”
he’d been crazy about you since the moment he met you.
“fuck yes. i’m absolutely insane. insane about everything about her. but if there’s one thing that drives me even crazier, it’s some bastard like you describing how her pussy might feel. because…” he leaned in, whispering into the man’s ear, “right now, i’m struggling not to kill you, but tonight, when you go to the house you think is safe, i can’t wait to show up and wrap my hands around your throat with delight.”
the man’s eyes widened in terror. he’d just realized he was sitting next to an absolute maniac.
“how do i know you’re not bullshitting me?” he stammered.
gojo immediately pulled back and, in the same friendly tone he had used when they first met, said, “oh, that’s very simple.” he pulled out his phone from his coat and opened your chat—where he sent at least 500 messages a day and still hadn’t been blocked.
gojo: blue always suits you, baby, but don’t you think that dress is a bit too short?
gojo: did you wear it because you knew i’d be watching tonight?
gojo: for someone who never answers my texts or calls, you sure know exactly what i’ve been saying ;)
gojo knew you always read the messages he sent through notifications. in a few seconds, you’d do it again. he liked knowing you were aware he was watching you because he knew you were just as crazy as he was.
“watch,” gojo said, almost like a warning to the man, his eyes shifting to the table where you sat with your friends.
as soon as the message came through, your eyes moved to your phone. a few seconds later, you scanned the room, and when your gaze landed on the bar table a little distance away—where your ex-husband sat, wearing a black cap and flashing you that devastating smile—your cheeks turned crimson.
“see that, buddy?” gojo, still staring at you, leaned closer to the man. “look how i made her blush. and trust me, those won’t be the only cheeks turning red tonight.” then he turned his full attention to the man. “now get lost. immediately.”
stunned, the man fumbled for his wallet, threw a few bills on the table for his drinks, and hurriedly left without another word. gojo watched him leave before turning his attention back to you, a confused look on your face as you stared at him.
ex-husband!gojo would do anything to eliminate the creeps who ogled you—whether from your vicinity or the world entirely.
but before he dealt with that man, he had to punish you for wearing that dress.
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all rights belong to the @moonlitwitchdaisy do not copy, reproduce, or translate my work.
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caramelkats · 3 days ago
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ɞ𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐂𝐀𝐍'𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐏 𝐌𝐘𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅
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𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝¡. . .
𝐅𝐭. . . 𝐀𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚 𝐑𝐲𝐮𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞, 𝐎𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐮 𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢
𝐓𝐰! 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 (𝐬𝐥𝐮𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲), 𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐯, 𝐬𝐞𝐦𝐢-𝐩𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐜, 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐡𝐚𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐬𝐞, 𝐝𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. . .
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❥𝐃𝐀𝐙𝐀𝐈
"You know. . . If you wanted me so bad, you could've just asked. " He said, voice teasing you as he thrust his cock into you.
Your head turned as a feeling of warmth spread over your face. "H-hush Osamu," Voice low but determined as you shifted your line of sight to glare at the man.
Grinning, he grinds his hips deeper into your pelvis. His hands move almost reflexively to the strands of hair falling in your face. ". . . You look so pretty, belladonna. " Lips move to press against your own.
The bed creaked slightly with each thrust, sounds of your moans echoing throughout. Dazai's hands cups your face as he begins to pamper you with kisses, chuckling when he hears your embarrassed complaints. You should be used to it by now but in this situation you deemed it unnecessary and mocking.
Your face was twisted into a pout, as he continued to mess with you. It wasn't Dazai if he wasn't making someone a little frustrated.
"Qui—!," You were cut off as he smashed his lips directly onto your mouth, cutting off the rest of your complaints. His lips were soft, tongue Intertwining with yours. "Samu. . . Faster, please. "
At your request, he moves to press your legs a little farther up, moving to slot himself between your legs even more. "So impatient,. . .𝘣𝘶𝘵—I guess I can't deny my pretty girl"
And just as he said that, his hips met yours but this time they held more force, cock drilling into you with purpose. The unforgiving pace left you dumb, eyes widening as your nails dug into Osamu's wrist.
"Fuh—𝘍𝘶𝘤𝘬!. . . Don't stop, don't stop, don't stop! " You rambled on, mind clouded from pleasure. Letting go was the only thing you could think about. Nothing more.
𝘈𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵. You were almost there you kept repeating to yourself. Everything felt as though it was it was vibrating underneath you, your head buzzing from pleasure as you tighten around him.
"There you go.. Good job..you came so pretty, I'm so proud of you, " His eyes we're crinkled at the corners as he smiles down at you.
"Now- how about a few more times, huh? . . . "
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❥𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀
Making Akutagawa angry was not an impossible task. Most days it would take a few comments of how boring he was. . . or even teasing him for his behavior. Today however all you needed were a few persistent shines of how bored you were and he was snatching you up by your hair and dragging you away into an alley.
"Stupid slut— why do you insist on bothering me. " His fingers were fisted in your hair, pulling your head back as he continues to press himself flush against you.
Eyes glossy and breaths baited, your hand covers your mouth as you fuck yourself back against him. Moans muffled. He stares at you, his eyes slits. "What's wrong?.. You were doing all that whining earlier— move your hand."
Not moving, you keep your hand pressed to your mouth. Your brows furrow and your eyes roll back as you feel him speed up. Just like that, he stops.
"I told you to move your hand. . . Did I not?" His hands release your hair, now moving to grab ahold of your wrist. Your hand is yanked away from your mouth, whimpering as he holds both of your wrist in a tight lock behind you.
"𝘔𝘮𝘮𝘮. . . I'm sorry Ryu! " Your tone is whiny, vocally begging him to keep fucking you. The amount of time passed had felt like hours but in all actuality it had been a few seconds.
He just stared down at you, mocking you. "Wait until we're finished with this mission. . . I'm not risking getting in trouble because you couldn't wait for me to fuck you. "
And with that, he let you go, sliding out of you as you stared at him wide eyed. "Hu—huh, wait, please Ryu!" He only glared at you, a warning that if you kept whining you wouldn't be getting anything after the two of you finished. Shutting up, you stood in place, lip jutting out as you waited for him to say something.
"Come on, we have to go.. You'll be fine."
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myownwholewildworld · 2 days ago
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OKAY SO… where do i even begin with this?! i think i might have gone into arousal shock (is that a thing? must be) after reading this MASTERPIECE, odi. like the way you set the pace, the back and forth, how reader was adamant at first that she just wouldn’t be “another one”… UGGGHHHH it hit all the right spots for me!! also, your writing is so immersive, i was right there in the party and then in the bar with them. you write so beautifully i can only aspire to be like you one day when i grow up 😭 the dynamic between them was so natural, i can only say THAT MUST BE LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT. can’t convince me otherwise!
so, without any further ado, let me dive in because I HAVE THOTS i need to let out before i pass out!
Javier danced his way onto the makeshift stage in front of your bestie, spinning his hat off and tossing it with a flourish into the crowd. Almost causing a fight between a few of the women to break out.
YUP, that’d be me. i’d be fighting wars on a muddy pitch just to grab his hat!!!
Javier stood unabashed and grinning in a leopard-print thong that left very little to the imagination.
HOWLING TO THE FUCKING MOON YOU DID THATTTTT omfg someone sedate me RIGHT ABOUT NOW I’M BEGGING YOU
Your face burned as your gaze dipped lower, catching a glimpse of something even more scandalous. The tiny scrap of leopard print couldn’t quite contain him—on the sides, the curve of his balls was slipping free.
the way i pictured this instantly, i ain’t joking i think at this point i started running a fever???
Your pulse fluttered wildly as he worked the crowd, making his way closer, dancing toward you.
i don’t know how reader kept it together, i would of died right there and then. like he’s DIABOLICAL FOR DANCING HIS WAY TO HERRR ASDSFKDÑLKJ
“Oh, I don’t think you’re good. Not yet, anyway.” He leaned closer, his voice just for you now. “But I’m more than happy to change that.”
HAHHHHAHHHHAHALJLADJA BYE. the fact that she stood her ground?? she’s the strongest of us all. kudos to her honestly.
“I don’t bite.” He winked. “Not unless you ask nicely.”
gnawing at the walls of my fucking coffin right now. i wouldn’t have asked, i would have begged.
the whole text exchange had me on a chokehold because that man was on a mission he was not about to lose. he knows what he wants and he gets itttttt ugh to be chased by a man like that, DREAM. and when he sends her his pic saying that he’s feeling lonely? DAMN RIGHT HE KNOWS WHAT HE’S DOING. also loved when they are at the bar and Javi opens up about being a DEA agent letting her see some of his real self? like, yeah. he’s down bad, i knew at this point this couple was meant to be. i’ll die on this hill.
“Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out,” you replied. His smile was slow, almost lazy. “Careful, sweetheart. I just might take you up on that.” 
HAHHAHJAHAGTYWIWM,. i was about to fight if he didn’t go into the room, extremely relieved he did.
“Do me a favor,” he whispered. “Touch yourself. Just a little.”
ODI, YOU- YOU BEAUTIFUL SOUL 😭 from this point on i just completely lost my shit and i was a trembling bundle of nerves throughout. if you looked up the definition of “feral” in a dictionary, my fucking face would be besides it. i shouldn’t have read this in a public space but with every word it just got better and better, hotter and hotter, i just couldn’t stop. i was heavingggggggg. anyways…
Your fingers faltered for a moment, your breath catching as your focus shifted entirely to him. He stood before you, stripped of all pretense, his movements deliberate and sure. When he pushed his pants and boxers down in one smooth motion, your gaze locked onto him, and your thoughts scattered.
your thoughts scattered??? beautifully put considering how wild this made me feel… i was not having demure thots at this point.
Slowly, deliberately, you adjusted, letting your slick pussy tease the length of him. The anticipation was maddening, and you could feel him trembling beneath you, his restraint barely holding. Then, with a deep breath, you angled yourself just right and began to lower yourself onto his length.
put me in horny jail, i beg you. i was suffering. i am suffering while rereading this.
it would be wrong of me to just quote the whole pussy eating scene so just know i was so not normal about it. grab a shovel, might as well go dig my grave now.
and then the end, when they both come undone and he says “give me one more”??? IS THAT SENTENCE EVEN LEGAL??? gonna have to check the law because i feel like it shouldn’t be. and the promise of a second round????? 🥵
i am so glad i finally got to read this because I WAS SO MISSING OUT. the whole fic was a fucking tease and a masterpiece, i truly cannot describe it any other way. PLEASE I BEG YOU, WILL YOU WRITE A SECOND PART TO THIS??? i hope so 😭
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Strangers
Stripper!Javier Pena x f!reader // almost 9k
Time stands still and it's only us, what we feel started way before we ever touched... must be from a different life been here before and it just feels right
summary: you meet a sexy stripper at your bestie's bachelorette party and he tries his absolute hardest to get your number
warnings: mdni, 18+, javi is a stripper, he wears a man thong and gets pretty close to stripping it all off in public, there's cock and balls, unprotected p in v, f!oral receiving, lap dances for days, reader has breasts, a dress, and hair that can fall around her face and is internally conflicted about this man and his leopard thong, javi has a pov in this too
notes: i really don't remember what sparked this but here we are... it's been like a month or more of me working on this. I thought I was done and then I heard a single song and it pushed me to write even more. This was supposed to be just a smutty fic and then got some depth and I was like wtf. Anyway on to the thank yous, thank you to the 5000 people I have screamed to about this, and a massive thank you to @thundermartini for listening to me go on and on about this guy for a long time and then reading it for me love you baby! A special mention to @gothcsz for the thong idea, @evolnoomym, @milla-frenchy and @sawymredfox for being so supportive of this idea to @joelslegalwhre for reading and @syd-djarin for the moodboard
masterlist
The music thumped so loudly it seemed to shake the floor, the kind of bass-heavy track that rumbled through your chest. Your best friend’s bachelorette party was in full swing, and the rented penthouse buzzed with laughter, shrieks, and a significant amount of tequila-fueled chaos. The party planners had spared no expense, from the towering stacks of champagne glasses to the flashy male entertainment just about to take the stage.
And then, he walked in.
You couldn’t ignore the way the room seemed to shift when he entered. The man—Javier, as the MC introduced him—had an undeniable presence. Dressed in a tight police officer uniform complete with aviators, a fake badge, hat, and handcuffs, he adjusted his badge with a grin that screamed trouble. His dark eyes surveyed the room with the kind of confidence that could only come from knowing he was the main event. 
Every woman in the room, including you, took notice.
While your friends ogled and whispered not-so-subtle comments, you tried—and failed—to keep your eyes elsewhere. He was gorgeous, sure, but this wasn’t your scene. Loud parties weren’t really your thing. 
The first performance was for the bride-to-be, of course. When the lights dimmed and the music shifted to something playfully seductive, the room erupted into cheers and Javier made his way to the bachelorette. 
“Ladies,” he announced, his voice smooth and teasing as he pulled a pair of fake handcuffs from his belt. “I hear there's a bride-to-be here who’s guilty of breaking hearts. I’m afraid I’ll have to take her in.”
Your best friend shrieked with laughter as he arrested her, securing one cuff around her wrist and helping her onto a nearby chair. The room buzzed with excitement as he began to dance, every move deliberate and designed to tease. 
You watched the scene unfold, biting your lip to stifle your laughter. He was undeniably good at what he did. But you couldn’t focus on the theatrics as much as everyone else seemed to. Your attention had zeroed in on him—his broad shoulders, the way his shirt clung to his chest, and the effortless way he commanded every inch of the massive penthouse, the man was sex on legs. As he began to set up for the big finale, you couldn’t tear your eyes away.
Javier danced his way onto the makeshift stage in front of your bestie, spinning his hat off and tossing it with a flourish into the crowd. Almost causing a fight between a few of the women to break out.
His aviators followed, revealing deep, smoldering eyes that locked with yours for a moment too long. He’s just playing to the crowd, he has to look at all the women right?
The bassline shifted to a slower, dirtier rhythm, and he rolled his shoulders back, his body falling into perfect sync with the beat.
Then came the shirt.
He gripped the edges, peeling it off slowly, revealing inch by inch of sun-kissed skin stretched over a perfectly sculpted chest and arms. When he finally tossed the shirt aside, the room erupted in cheers and whistles.
And yet, all you could do was stare and clench your thighs together. Why was this affecting you so much? It’s just a party. It’s just a guy. Get a grip. But no amount of inner scolding could make you look away. Something about this man pulled you in.
His chest glistened under the soft glow of the light, each bead of sweat tracing a slow, tantalizing path over the chiseled contours of his body. Your breath hitched, captivated by the sheer allure of him—the way every ridge of muscle stood out, accentuated as his hand drifted slowly down his torso. He moved with deliberate ease, fully aware of the spell he was weaving, and the teasing smirk playing at the corner of his lips made it clear that he was savoring every second of all the attention he was receiving.
But it was when his fingers moved to rip off his belt that the real show began.
The collective energy in the room surged as Javier teasingly ran his hands down his sides, and in one swift, practiced motion, he reached for his waistband and yanked.
The rip-away pants came apart with a sharp, satisfying sound, sending the crowd into a frenzy. The noise, a mix of gasps, shrieks, and raucous laughter, echoed through the penthouse. But none of that registered as you stared at what had been revealed.
Javier stood unabashed and grinning in a leopard-print thong that left very little to the imagination. Every inch of his sculpted body was on display—toned legs, powerful thighs, and that tiny scrap of fabric barely holding itself together. The cut of the thong framed his hips perfectly, the deep lines of his V cutting down, drawing your eyes exactly where he wanted them to go. The thin fabric of the thong clung tightly to him, leaving the unmistakable outline of his cock on display, straining the limits of the material. Javier seemed completely unbothered by how much was on show.
Your face burned as your gaze dipped lower, catching a glimpse of something even more scandalous. The tiny scrap of leopard print couldn’t quite contain him—on the sides, the curve of his balls was slipping free. You swallowed hard, your pulse fluttering as he shifted his weight, the motion only emphasizing how precariously the thong was holding itself together.
The room exploded excitedly, women fanning themselves, throwing bills, and shouting over one another. But you could barely breathe.
And then, just when you thought the spectacle couldn’t get any more outrageous, Javier turned around with a deliberate, teasing spin, giving the room an uninterrupted view of his backside.
The thong was practically nonexistent, the thin fabric disappearing completely between the firm, sculpted curves of his ass. His glistening, muscular cheeks were on full display, round and perfectly defined, drawing another deafening eruption of cheers and whistles from the crowd.
Javier struck a pose, bracing his hands on his hips as he arched his back slightly, flexing for effect. He glanced over his shoulder with a devilish grin, clearly relishing in the chaos he was causing. The lights caught the sheen of sweat on his skin, highlighting every curve and line of muscle, leaving no question as to just how perfect he was from every single angle.
You couldn’t tear your eyes away. Your breath hitched and your pulse pounded so loudly in your ears it almost drowned out the music. Heat flushed through your body as your gaze lingered shamelessly on his backside, every inch of him a deliberate invitation.
After what felt like a torturous eternity, Javier turned back toward the crowd, a low chuckle rumbling from his chest as he surveyed everyone's reactions.
He strutted forward, running his hands up his torso and tossing a playful wink to the bride-to-be, who was practically falling out of her chair from laughter and shock. But his gaze kept flicking to you.
Your cheeks burned as he moved closer, spinning on his heel to give the audience another view. His movements were fluid and sensual, every roll of his hips and flex of his body perfectly in time with the music. When he leaned down to grab the bride’s hands to feel up his torso, his back arched in a way that emphasized the curve of his ass, and you bit your lip without thinking.
This man was a problem.
When he finally ended the dance with a flourish—dropping to his knees in front of the bride-to-be before flawlessly almost jumping back up to a standing position—the applause was deafening.
Javier laughed, his chest rising and falling as he caught his breath. He took a playful bow, blowing a kiss to the bride-to-be before gathering his discarded pants and shirt. His bare torso glistened under the soft glow of the party lights, and the lingering smirk on his lips suggested he knew he had the entire room wrapped around his finger.
The girls were still cheering and clapping, their voices a mix of exhilaration and tipsy enthusiasm. But while the others were caught up in the wild energy of the moment, you felt a strange tightness in your chest, like the room had closed in around you.
You weren’t used to reacting this way to someone, and it unnerved you. The heat creeping up your neck was impossible to ignore, and no amount of pretending to be distracted by your drink could hide the fact that your eyes kept darting back to him.
And he noticed—like a magnet—his eyes locked onto yours.
Your stomach flipped.
For a split second, everything else faded; the noise, the laughter, even your own internal protests to look away. It was just him, standing there, looking at you with that maddening confidence.
Then he moved.
Javier began to dance again, hips rolling in slow, hypnotic circles to the bass-heavy beat. The fabric of the thong strained with every motion, but he didn’t shy away. If anything, he seemed to lean into it—one hand trailing down his torso to brush along the waistband, teasing as if he might remove it completely.
Your pulse fluttered wildly as he worked the crowd, making his way closer, dancing toward you.
Your breath caught as you tried to focus on literally anything else—your drink, the flickering candles on the table, the way your best friend was still howling with laughter. But there was no escaping the fact that Javier was now standing right in front of you, every inch of him radiating heat and presence.
“Having fun?” he asked.
You blinked up at him, your mouth suddenly dry. “Uh… yeah. It’s been… something.” Your voice wavered, betraying how flustered you felt. Something? Really? That was the best you could come up with? You scrambled for words, your brain short-circuiting. “I mean—great. It’s been great.”
Smooth.
His smirk widened. “Just great?” He leaned in slightly, the scent of his cologne—something dark and woodsy—mingling with the musky sheen of sweat on his skin. “Because you’ve been staring like you’re enjoying yourself a little more than tha?t.”
You nearly choked on your drink. “I—I wasn’t—”
“Relax,” he teased, his grin softening into something warmer, more inviting. “I’m just messing with you. Now come on, sweetheart,” he encouraged. “Let me make your night.”
“I’m good, thanks,” you replied, though your cheeks burned with the effort of maintaining composure. You crossed your arms to emphasize your refusal, but Javier didn’t look the least bit discouraged.
“Oh, I don’t think you’re good. Not yet, anyway.” He leaned closer, his voice just for you now. “But I’m more than happy to change that.”
Despite your best efforts, the laughter bubbling up from your chest betrayed you. He grinned, clearly enjoying your reaction. But when you refused—again—he didn’t press. Instead, he winked, gave an exaggerated shrug, and moved on to another guest, leaving you strangely disappointed.
————
Later, after the performances ended and the room was quieter, you found yourself sitting on a chair in the back corner of the room scrolling idly on your phone, trying to drown out your lingering thoughts about him. A few drinks had loosened your resolve. You noticed a stack of glossy business cards on the table where he had tossed his hat earlier. Curiosity got the better of you, and you picked one up.
The card was sleek, black with gold lettering. At the top, in bold, elegant lettering, it read:
Elite Heat’s Javier Peña
To the left, there was a neatly organized list; a phone number, a Facebook link, which you immediately ignored, and a website address. But it was the bottom that made your breath hitch.
On top of a gold banner, the words Elite Heat: “The Best Sex Therapy” were printed in bold, confident lettering. 
To the right was a photo of Javier himself.
It wasn’t a professional headshot - far from it. It was one of those casual yet devastatingly attractive pictures that looked effortless but likely required perfect lighting and timing. He wore a grey long-sleeve shirt that framed his broad chest perfectly, the top buttons undone just enough to tease without giving away too much. His hand, however, made it impossible not to stare—casually slipping beneath the fabric, revealing a tantalizing glimpse of his defined abs. The way the light hit his skin added a subtle sheen, making the whole image feel like a deliberate invitation.
For a moment, you just stared at the card. The combination of professional polish and brazen confidence made your stomach twist in a way that annoyed you.
“The best sex therapy, huh?” you muttered to yourself, raising an eyebrow at the audacity.
Curiosity got the better of you. You grabbed your phone and typed “Javier Peña” into Instagram. After scrolling through a few accounts that clearly weren’t him, you found the right one.
The profile itself was… an experience.
Picture after picture of Javier dominated the feed—some in his infamous uniform, others in casual attire, and far too many shirtless to be accidental. Every post was a masterclass in confident allure, and his captions were just as bold.
The comments were what really got to you, though. Endless lines of hearts, fire emojis, and thirsty declarations filled each post.
“Find something you like?”
His voice startled you so much that you almost dropped your phone. You looked up to see Javier standing in front of you, his shirt slung casually over his shoulder and he was wearing his uniform pants again. How long had he been there?
“I was just…” You trailed off, trying to think of a plausible excuse for stalking him online. His smirk told you he wasn’t buying it.
“Don’t worry,” he said, leaning in closer than necessary. “You can follow me. Might even follow you back.”
“I’m not interested,” you replied, though the conviction in your voice wavered as he placed a hand on the back of your chair, caging you in.
“You sure about that?” he asked, his voice dropping just enough to send a shiver down your spine. Your heart raced as he leaned down, his lips brushing against your ear. “I’ll make you a deal sweetheart, one dance. If you hate it, I’ll leave you alone. But if you like it… well, you can give me your number when it’s over.”
You swallowed hard, your resolve crumbling faster than you wanted to admit. After all, what was the harm in one dance?
Javier’s confidence was infuriatingly contagious, and your curiosity was louder than the protests in your head. You nodded if only to prove to yourself that he wouldn’t get under your skin. A small, victorious smile curved his lips as he straightened, offering his hand. “Good choice.”
He didn’t give you much time to second-guess as he guided you to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the penthouse. Some of your friends hooted and hollered, clearly thrilled to see you in the spotlight. You, however, were hyper-aware of every step as Javier led you to a chair he had conveniently placed in the center of the room.
“Sit,” he commanded, his voice smooth but firm. His dark eyes gleamed with mischief as he waited for you to comply. Against your better judgment, you did.
The music shifted to something slower and sultrier. Javier grabbed his shirt from his shoulder, tossing it onto the floor. The movement was casual, but there was nothing casual about the way his toned chest and large arms drew every pair of eyes in the room. Including yours.
He stalked closer, and suddenly it felt like the room had disappeared. Just you, the chair, and the dangerously attractive man who seemed to thrive on the tension hanging in the air.
“Relax,” he murmured as he noticed the way your hands gripped the edge of the chair. “I don’t bite.” He winked. “Not unless you ask nicely.”
Before you could reply, he began to move.
It wasn’t the kind of dance you expected. Yes, it was provocative—every roll of his hips and glide of his body was designed to tease—but there was something more deliberate about it. He kept his gaze locked on yours, watching every flicker of emotion on your face. His hands didn’t touch you—not yet. Instead, they skimmed close enough to make you ache for the contact, only for him to pull away at the last moment.
He straddled the chair, his thighs framing yours as he dipped low, his chest hovering just inches from your face. His scent filled your senses, and your pulse quickened as he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re even more beautiful up close,” he whispered.
Your breath hitched, and you hated how easily he could see the effect he had on you.
Javier straightened, his hands gripping the chair on either side of you as he moved his hips in a way that felt borderline illegal. He was close enough for you to feel the heat radiating off him, but he still didn’t touch. The lack of contact was maddening, and the glint in his eye told you he knew exactly what he was doing.
The song ended too quickly, and he stepped back, leaving you feeling both relieved and oddly bereft. Your friends erupted into cheers and applause, but you barely noticed. Your eyes were fixed on Javier as he extended a hand, helping you out of the chair.
“Enjoy yourself?” he asked.
You swallowed hard, refusing to let him see how much he’d gotten to you. “It was… okay.”
He laughed—a deep, rich sound that sent another shiver through you. “Just okay, huh? I’ll have to work on that.”
Before you could respond, he winked and disappeared back into the crowd.
——
An hour later, the party was winding down. The penthouse was quieter, and most of your friends had migrated to the couches or left altogether. You were nursing your last drink of the night when Javier appeared again, a shot glass in each hand.
“For you,” he said, offering one with an easy smile.
You eyed it suspiciously. “You didn’t put anything in this, did you?”
He looked genuinely offended, clutching his chest dramatically. “I’m hurt you’d even ask.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, fine,” he admitted, leaning in closer. “I did put something in it.”
You froze, and he smirked, finishing his sentence with a devilish twinkle in his eye. “It’s called tequila.”
Your laugh surprised even you. “You’re ridiculous.”
“Ridiculously charming,” he corrected, clinking his glass against yours. “Now drink up.”
Against your better judgment, you downed the shot, the burn of the tequila grounding you for a moment.
“Good girl,” he said. “Now, how about that number?”
Javier’s smile didn’t waver as he set his empty shot glass on the table. “Still hesitant, huh?” he asked, watching you with an intensity that made your pulse quicken.
You shrugged, trying to appear unaffected. “I don’t make it a habit to give my number to strangers, especially ones who…” You gestured vaguely to his naked chest and the police hat perched crookedly on his head. “...do what you do.”
“Fair enough,” he said, the teasing edge in his voice softening. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone, holding it out to you. “At least let me follow you on Instagram..”
You stared at the phone, then at him. The sincerity in his tone threw you off balance, and the way his dark eyes searched yours made it hard to hold onto your skepticism. Against your better judgment—again—you took the phone and followed your account.
“Here,” you said, handing it back after following him.
Javier glanced at the screen, a satisfied smile tugging at his lips. “I’ll make it worth your while,” he promised, slipping his phone into his pocket. “Sweet dreams, sweetheart.”
And just like that, he was gone, disappearing into the night with the same confidence that had drawn every eye in the room earlier.
Javi 
Javier leaned against the balcony railing outside the penthouse lighting a cigarette, the cool night air doing little to temper the heat still coursing through him. The party was still going inside, but his thoughts had drifted elsewhere—to you. He let out a low chuckle, shaking his head at himself. He’d performed for hundreds of women, charmed his way through countless parties, but tonight felt… different.  
You’d thrown him off balance in a way he wasn’t used to.  
Sure, you’d laughed at his jokes and taken the shot he offered, but there was something in your eyes—an intoxicating mix of curiosity and resistance—that had him hooked. He wasn’t sure what it was about you. Maybe it was the way you tried to keep your guard up even as he chipped away at it. Maybe it was the way you watched him when you thought he wasn’t looking, like you couldn’t quite help yourself.  
Or maybe it was the way he couldn’t stop replaying that moment on the dance floor in his head. The way your breath hitched when he leaned in. The way your lips parted, as though you were holding back words—or something else entirely.  
The music from the party shifted the song echoing in the distance. Javier’s mind wandered as the melody pulled him into his own thoughts. It wasn’t just lust that gnawed at him—though, hell, that was definitely part of it. No, this was something deeper, something that felt unsettlingly like longing.  
He ran a hand through his hair, the grin he’d worn all night slipping away. He’d never been one for complications, especially when it came to women. His job was to entertain, to tease, to flirt—but he’d never felt this kind of pull before. It was like a spark had ignited when he locked eyes with you, and now it wouldn’t go out.  
For the first time in a long while, Javier wasn’t sure if he was in control.  
The lyrics to the song playing in the penthouse hit him square in the chest.  
Must be from a different life, been here before, and it just feels right. No, this ain't the first time for you and I, we ain't strangers.
The words struck a chord, leaving him standing there, staring out at the city lights, wondering how a single dance, a single moment, could unravel him so completely.  
It's like it's driving me closer to you, every step back pulls me right back to you…
Maybe you wouldn’t give him your number. Maybe this would end here, tonight, like all the other nights before. But as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and opened Instagram, his thumb hovering over your profile, he couldn’t help but think—this didn’t feel like an ending.  
It felt like the beginning of something he wasn’t ready to let go of.  
———
Back in your hotel room, you flopped onto the plush bed with a groan. The events of the evening replayed in your mind, Javier’s smirk and the heat of his gaze lingering longer than you cared to admit.
“This is ridiculous,” you muttered to yourself, reaching for your phone. A quick check of Instagram confirmed what you suspected—he’d already followed and sent you a message.
Javier: See? Now we’re not strangers anymore.
You rolled your eyes, though a small smile tugged at your lips. His confidence was irritatingly endearing.
You: I don’t think Instagram follows count as a formal introduction.
His reply was almost instant.
Javier: What would count? Because I’m pretty sure that dance was more personal than most first dates.
You bit your lip, your fingers hovering over the keyboard. He wasn’t wrong, but you weren’t about to admit that.
You: Is this your usual routine? Flirt with everyone at the party, then slide into DMs?
Javier: Nope. Just you.
You stared at the screen, your stomach doing an annoying little flip at his words.
You: Why me?
The typing indicator blinked for a moment before his reply came through.
Javier: Because you didn’t throw yourself at me like everyone else. And because you’re cute when you’re pretending not to be interested.
Your cheeks burned as you read the message, but you couldn’t help smiling.
You: I’m not pretending.
Javier: So you are interested?
You: I didn’t say that.
Javier: But you didn’t deny it, either.
You sighed, realizing this conversation wasn’t going to end anytime soon.
You: Don’t you have better things to do than bother me?
Javier: Nope. Not tonight.
Before you could come up with a snarky reply, another message popped up.
Javier: You could come over, you know. Save us both the trouble of texting all night.
Your heart raced at the suggestion, and you hesitated, typing and deleting a dozen responses before settling on one.
You: Not happening.
Javier: Why not?
You: Because it’s late, and I’m not that kind of girl.
Javier: What kind of girl is that?
You: The kind that sneaks into a stranger’s room after one tequila shot and a few texts.
Javier: I’m not exactly a stranger anymore.
You stared at his message, your lips twitching at the boldness. Before you could type out another response, your phone buzzed with a notification. It was a photo. From Javier.
You hesitated, your thumb hovering over the image preview before finally opening it. The picture was simple yet devastatingly effective: Javier, shirtless, sprawled on a hotel bed, the faint light casting shadows that only emphasized his toned chest. His dark eyes smoldered into the camera, and his messy hair added to the whole “devil-may-care” aesthetic he wore so well.
Javier: Feeling really lonely over here. Could use some company.
Heat pooled low in your belly and you groaned, tossing your phone onto the bed as if distance could break the spell he seemed to have on you. But of course, curiosity won out, and you grabbed it again, typing out a response before you could second-guess yourself.
You: Flattery and thirst traps won’t work on me.
Javier: Who said it was flattery? Just being honest.
You: Still not happening.
Javier: Okay, how about a compromise?
You: What kind of compromise?
Javier: Drinks. Just the two of us. Down at the hotel bar. Public place, no pressure.
You bit your lip, weighing your options. Saying yes felt like walking into a trap, but a part of you was curious—and maybe, just maybe, a little tempted. The idea of sitting across from him, away from the crowd, felt… different. Safer. Almost.
You: Fine. One drink.
Javier: I’ll take it. Meet you there in ten?
You: Fifteen. I need to change.
Javier: You don’t have to change for me, sweetheart. You already look perfect.
You rolled your eyes, but a small smile tugged at your lips as you tossed your phone onto the bed and rifled through your suitcase. Fifteen minutes later, you stepped into the elevator, your heart pounding with anticipation and nerves as you descended to the hotel bar.
The bar was dimly lit, with warm amber hues reflecting off the polished surfaces. The low hum of conversation mingled with the clinking of glasses, creating an atmosphere both intimate and unassuming. You spotted Javier immediately.  
He sat at a corner table, leaning back in his chair. He’d changed into a simple black button-down that clung to his frame in a way that was almost unfair. His gaze locked onto you the moment you entered.  
“Right on time,” he said, standing as you reached the table. He pulled out a chair for you, a small but unexpected gesture that caught you off guard.  
“Don’t get used to it,” you replied, settling into the seat.  
“Noted.” His smile widened as he slid into the chair opposite you.  
The server appeared almost instantly, and Javier gestured for you to order first. You requested a simple cocktail, while he opted for whiskey on the rocks. As the server walked away, his attention returned to you and it wasn’t long before they returned with them.
“So,” he began, leaning forward slightly. “What convinced you to come down here?”  
You raised an eyebrow, feigning nonchalance. “Curiosity, I guess. Wanted to see if you were as charming one-on-one as you are with a crowd.”  
“And?” 
You took a deliberate sip of your drink before answering. “Jury’s still out.”  
He chuckled, “I’m not worried. I’m good under pressure.”  
The banter came easily, the conversation flowing in a way that surprised you. He was quick-witted, teasing without being overbearing, and as much as you hated to admit it, he was easy to talk to, it felt like knew him without knowing him. The more you spoke, the more you caught glimpses of the man behind the cocky facade—sharp, observant, and surprisingly thoughtful.  
Still, you made him work for it.  
Whenever his compliments grew too bold, you deflected with a teasing remark. When he leaned in a little too close, you leaned back, though you couldn’t ignore the thrill that ran through you each time he tested your resolve.  
“I like this game you’re playing,” he said after a while, his whiskey glass nearly empty.  
“What game?” you asked innocently.  
“The one where you pretend you’re not interested.” His gaze was unwavering, the heat in his eyes unmistakable.  
“I’m not pretending,” you replied, though the words sounded less convincing than you’d hoped.  
He tilted his head, a small, knowing smile tugging at his lips. “No? Then why are you still here?”  
You opened your mouth to respond, but the truth caught in your throat. Why were you still here?  
Before you could come up with an excuse, he reached across the table, his fingers brushing yours. The touch was light, almost hesitant, but it sent a jolt of electricity up your arm.  
“Listen,” he said, his voice softer now, the teasing edge gone. “If this isn’t what you want, just say the word, and I’ll back off. No hard feelings.”  
For the first time that night, you saw something unguarded in his expression—genuine sincerity that made your heart stutter.  You hesitated, your walls cracking under the weight of his words. Maybe it was the way he looked at you, or the way his thumb brushed against your knuckles, but something in you shifted.  
“Okay,” you said quietly.  
His brow lifted. “Okay, what?”  
“Okay… you’re not completely unbearable.”  
He laughed, the sound genuine and warm. “High praise.”  
“You know, I didn’t say I wasn’t interested,” you admitted finally, your voice quieter than you intended. “I just don’t know if this is a good idea.”
His smirk softened into something gentler, his fingers still lightly brushing yours on the table. “Not everything has to be a good idea to be worth it, sweetheart,” he said.
You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “Is that your life philosophy, or just your way of convincing women to give you their number?”
“Both,” he said with a shrug, his grin returning. “And it’s worked out pretty well so far.”
You rolled your eyes, but the tension between you eased slightly. The conversation shifted after that, the teasing banter giving way to something more genuine. He asked about your life, your work, your dreams—and for every question he asked, he shared something about himself, too. 
“I wasn’t always this guy,” he admitted at one point, swirling the remnants of his whiskey in his glass. “I used to be a cop. A real one. Back in Colombia.”
You blinked, surprised. “A cop? Really?”
He nodded. “Yeah. DEA, actually.”
Your eyebrows shot up. “Seriously? What made you leave?”
His expression darkened briefly, a shadow crossing his features. “Let’s just say… the job took its toll. And I realized I wanted something different. Something lighter.” He glanced at you then, a hint of humor returning to his voice. “Though I’m not sure stripping is what my father had in mind when I told him I was switching careers.”
The two of you laughed, and the conversation continued to flow. By the time your drinks were empty, you realized you were leaning forward, hanging onto his every word.
Javier glanced at the time on his phone and then back at you. “I hate to say it, but the bar’s closing soon.”
You nodded, a strange mix of disappointment and relief settling over you. “Guess I should head back to my room.”
“Yeah.” He hesitated, as if weighing his next words carefully. “Can I walk you to your door?”
Your pulse quickened at the question, but you nodded. “Okay.”
The two of you rode the elevator in silence, the charged tension between you filling the small space. When you reached your floor, he stepped out with you, his presence at your side was both comforting and exhilarating.
When you finally stopped outside your door, you turned to face him, your heart pounding in your chest. “Well… this is me.”
“Home sweet hotel,” he said, his tone light but his gaze intense.
You fiddled with your key card, unsure of what to say. He didn’t push, didn’t try to move closer. Instead, he simply smiled.
“I had a good time tonight,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”
You swallowed hard, his words sending a warmth through you that had nothing to do with the tequila. “Me too.”
For a moment, neither of you moved. The air between you was thick with unspoken possibilities, each one more tempting than the last. Then, before you could talk yourself out of it, you leaned in and kissed him.
It was soft, hesitant at first—a test to see if this was really what you wanted. But the moment his lips moved against yours, everything else fell away. His hand cupped your cheek, his touch warm and steady as he deepened the kiss. 
When you finally pulled back, breathless, he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of regret. “You’re full of surprises, aren’t you?”
“Guess you’ll have to stick around to find out,” you replied.
His smile was slow, almost lazy. “Careful, sweetheart. I just might take you up on that.” 
As Javier lingered, you found yourself hesitating. The way he kissed you had ignited something within you—something raw.
You opened your door but didn’t step inside, glancing back at him. "Well, you coming?”
He arched a brow, that teasing smirk returning. “You sure?”
You laughed softly. “I think I’ll take my chances.”
Javier followed you inside. The dim light of the room cast shadows across his face, softening the sharp lines of his features. He shut the door behind him, leaning against it for a moment as he studied you.
“So,” he drawled, his tone playful but low. “What exactly did you have in mind?”
You swallowed, heat rising to your cheeks. “I think you know Javier.”
He chuckled, shaking his head as he shrugged off his jacket, draping it over the back of a chair. “You’re something else, you know that?”
Before you could respond, he stepped closer, his fingers lightly grabbing your wrist. He guided you to sit on the edge of the bed and his voice dropped an octave. “If we’re doing this, I’m in control, ¿entiendes?”
You nodded, and it must have been obvious how nervous you were.
“Relax,” he murmured, his hands brushing your knees as he stepped between them. “This is supposed to be fun.”
You exhaled a shaky breath, your body responding to him in ways you couldn’t control. He leaned closer, his lips ghosting over the shell of your ear. “Do me a favor,” he whispered. “Touch yourself. Just a little.”
Your eyes widened, your pulse skyrocketing. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said. “I want to watch you.”
When you hesitated, his hand trailed up your thigh, his touch light but maddening. “Go on beautiful,” he urged. “Show me how you make yourself feel good.”
Your breath hitched, heat rushing to your cheeks and pooling low in your belly. Javier leaned back slightly, giving you space but never breaking eye contact. His gaze was dark, commanding, and utterly unapologetic. He wanted this. Wanted you vulnerable, open, and completely at his mercy. 
You hesitated, your heart pounding like a drum, but the way his fingers skimmed over your thigh made it impossible to think straight. “Don’t be shy,” he murmured, his voice coaxing yet dripping with authority. “I want to see every bit of you, mi amor.”
Your hand trembled as it moved to the hem of your dress. Slowly, you slid it higher, exposing more of your thighs to his burning gaze. He walked back and pulled up a chair, one arm draped lazily over the armrest, but his eyes never wavered from you. The way he looked at you—as if you were the only thing that mattered in the world—was both thrilling and terrifying.
“Good girl,” he said, his voice low and gravelly. The praise sent a shiver through your body. You could feel your arousal building, the tension crackling between you like a live wire.  
Your breath shuddered as your fingers brushed the fabric of your panties, the dampness betraying just how much his presence, his words, his command, had affected you. You glanced at him, unsure, but his gaze was steady, his jaw tight, his dark eyes fixed on you with an intensity that made your pulse race. 
Slowly, you slipped your hand beneath the fabric, the first tentative touch drawing a quiet gasp from your lips. Javier's expression darkened with hunger, his composure unraveling ever so slightly as he leaned forward. 
“That’s it,” he whispered. “Let me see how beautiful you are when you can’t hold back.”
Your fingers began to move in slow circles, your body responding to your touch almost instinctively. The heat between your thighs grew, and your hips shifted slightly, seeking more pressure. The room seemed to shrink, the air heavy with the sound of your breathing and the faint rustle of your movements. 
Javier's eyes never left you. His own restraint was evident in the way his fists clenched, the way his chest rose and fell a little too fast. “I want to hear you. Don’t hold back from me.”
You whimpered, your movements becoming more confident, more insistent as you lost yourself in the moment. Every sound you made, every twitch of your body, seemed to light a fire in him. His control was slipping, and it was intoxicating to know that you were the one unraveling him. 
“God, you’re perfect,” he muttered, his voice thick with desire. “Keep going, just like that.”
Javier’s gaze burned into you, the tension in his jaw betraying how tightly he was holding himself back. But then, he shifted, his hands moving to undo the buttons of his shirt, one by one, exposing the golden skin of his chest. His movements were slow, deliberate, as if daring you to keep watching even as your own hand continued its rhythm. 
“Don’t stop,” he murmured, his voice dark and commanding, the sound vibrating through you. His shirt slid off his shoulders, and he let it fall to the floor. Then, his hands moved to his belt, the metallic clink making your breath hitch. He undid it in a single, fluid motion, the sound of the zipper following shortly after. 
Your fingers faltered for a moment, your breath catching as your focus shifted entirely to him. He stood before you, stripped of all pretense, his movements deliberate and sure. When he pushed his pants and boxers down in one smooth motion, your gaze locked onto him, and your thoughts scattered.
He was breathtaking. The sharp angles of his hips, the sculpted planes of his abdomen, the sheer strength of his frame—it was as if he had been carved just for you. Heat coiled low in your belly, a visceral reaction to the undeniable evidence of his desire for you.
Your eyes traveled over him, lingering shamelessly, drinking in every inch of him. His dark eyes burned into yours, filled with a heat that left you both vulnerable and electrified.
You swallowed hard, suddenly feeling exposed under his gaze despite still being partially clothed. The way he looked at you—like you were the only thing he could see—made your pulse race and your chest tighten with need.
The air between you crackled with an unspoken hunger, and you couldn’t look away, couldn’t hide how deeply he affected you.
His hand wrapped around his shaft, a groan slipping from his lips as he began to stroke slowly, matching the rhythm you’d set for yourself. “Look at me,” he said. “Don’t hide from me, nena.”
The sight of him, so confident, so completely at ease with his own pleasure, made your own need intensify. Your movements quickened, your body arching slightly as the tension in your core built. His gaze flickered over you, drinking in every shiver, every gasp, every movement of your hand.
“Dios mío,” he murmured, his strokes becoming faster as he watched you. “You’re so beautiful like this. I could watch you forever.” 
Javier’s hand stilled suddenly, and you watched as he got up, his body exuding confidence and unrelenting command. He stepped closer, towering over you where you sat, his dark eyes still heavy with desire. He leaned down, his fingers brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his voice a seductive rasp as he said, “Come here.”
You hesitated, your heart racing, unsure of what he was asking. But he took your hand, pulling you gently to your feet, and his lips brushed your ear. “I want you to dance for me. Just for me.”
“I—I don’t know if I can,” you stammered, your cheeks burning. The idea made your pulse race, the vulnerability and intimacy of it all was terrifying and exhilarating all at once.
His hands moved to your waist, steadying you. “Yes, you can, you’re perfect.”
His words wrapped around you, melting your hesitation. Slowly, you began to sway, your movements tentative at first, but his gaze never wavered, filled with encouragement and raw need. 
Your fingers found the hem of your dress, and you began to lift it, inch by inch, exposing your skin. His eyes tracked every motion, his breaths deep and heavy, fueling your confidence. The dress fell to the floor, leaving you in your underwear. You turned away from him, your fingers trembling as you unclasped your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders before finally slipping out of your panties. 
“Fuck, you are so beautfiul.”
You felt the power in his words, the way they stoked your courage and your desire. With each slow sway of your hips, you inched closer to him, the magnetic pull between you was impossible to resist. His heated gaze anchored you, igniting a fire that coursed through your veins.
You ran your hands down your body, over your curves, letting him watch as you closed the distance. His chest heaved as you straddled him and the tip of his cock brushed against your core, you froze, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. 
“You’re doing so good,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your collarbone. “Just like that. Take your time, baby. Feel every second of it.
“Javi,” you whispered, your voice shaky. “I don’t know if I—”
“Yes, you do,” he interrupted, his hands sliding up your thighs to rest on your hips. His touch was firm, guiding but never forcing. “You’ve got this, baby. Dance for me—on me. Take your time.”
The raw hunger in his voice undid you. He guided your movements as you began to grind against him, slow and sensual. Your body aligned with his as you slid against him, teasing him with every slow grind. His head fell back against the chair, his jaw clenched as he groaned your name. 
“Good girl,” he murmured, his hands tightening their grip, encouraging your movements. “Just like that. Feel me, nena. Let me feel all of you.”
Slowly, deliberately, you adjusted, letting your slick pussy tease the length of him. The anticipation was maddening, and you could feel him trembling beneath you, his restraint barely holding. Then, with a deep breath, you angled yourself just right and began to lower yourself onto his length.
The sensation stole your breath as you took him inch by inch, your body adjusting to his size. His growl of pleasure rumbled through you, his hands guiding you down until you were completely seated. The stretch, the fullness—it was overwhelming and it felt so good.
“Now move, baby,” he urged, his voice strained. “Show me how good you can make us feel.”
You began to roll your hips, your movements slow and deliberate as you rode him, your bodies perfectly in sync. The connection between you felt electric, every thrust and grind drawing you closer together. His hands explored your body, his lips tracing hot, open-mouthed kisses along your neck and collarbone as you moved, his murmured praises driving you to the brink.
Each undulation of your hips sent a new wave of pleasure crashing through you, and as you rode him, the world melted away, leaving only the two of you tangled in passion and ecstasy.
The sensation made you both gasp, his hands tightening on your hips as you began to move. “That’s it,” he groaned. “Ride me. Just like that.” 
The tension coiled tighter with every roll of your hips, the friction building to a fever pitch as Javier groaned your name like a prayer. His hands gripped your waist firmly, guiding your movements, his thumbs pressing bruising circles into your skin as if to anchor himself. The entire time his gaze stayed locked on yours, dark and intense, as if he wanted to memorize the way you looked in this moment—completely undone above him.
“That’s it, baby,” he rasped. “You feel so damn good.”
The words lit you up, your pace quickening as you chased the edge, that blinding release that teased just out of reach. Your breaths mingled with his, sharp and ragged, the room heavy with the sound of skin meeting skin and the delicious symphony of your pleasure.
“Javi,” you gasped.
“I know, baby,” he murmured, his hands sliding up your back to cradle your face. “Let go. I’ve got you.”
Something in his voice broke you, the sincerity laced with desire, the unshakable promise that he wouldn’t let you fall. Your body tensed, your movements stuttering as the first shockwaves of pleasure crashed through you, and you cried out his name as you shattered around him.
Javier didn’t falter. He held you steady, his grip firm as he ground his hips up to meet yours, pulling you through the aftershocks until you were trembling in his arms. The intensity of it left you breathless, and you slumped forward, resting your forehead against his as you tried to gather yourself.
“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice still thick with need, though his concern for you was evident.
You nodded, chest heaving as you caught your breath. “Yeah,” you whispered. 
“Your turn to relax. I’m not done with you yet.”
Before you could respond, he scooped you up effortlessly, cradling you against his chest as he stood. A soft squeak escaped you, your arms instinctively wrapping around his neck as he carried you across the room.
“Javi, I can walk,” you protested weakly, though you made no effort to pull away.
“I know you can,” he teased, “but I like having you right where you are.”
The bed was cool against your back when he laid you down, but his body quickly chased away the chill. Javier followed you down, his weight settling between your thighs.
“Now,” he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from your face as his gaze softened. “Where were we?”
Javier’s lips captured yours in a kiss, his tongue sweeping into your mouth. He kissed you like he had all the time in the world, savoring every second, and you couldn’t help but melt into him.
His lips trailed down your neck, leaving a path of heat as he paused to suck and nip at the sensitive skin. His hands explored you, tracing the curve of your waist and the swell of your hips before sliding lower. Every touch sent shivers through you, and you couldn’t hold back the soft gasps escaping your lips.
“You’re incredible,” he murmured against your skin. “Every inch of you.”
Your fingers tangled in his hair as you arched into him, your body aching for more. “Javi, please,” you whispered, your voice trembling.
He chuckled softly. “Patience, sweetheart. You just taste so good.”
Your hands gripped his shoulders, your body arching involuntarily. “Javier, I need… I need you.”
He pulled back just enough to meet your gaze, his dark eyes glinting with amusement. “You’re so beautiful like this. All mine.”
As his lips moved lower, he pressed kisses to the sensitive skin of your thighs, his hands spreading you gently. The anticipation made your body tremble, your legs parting instinctively as you felt him pause, his breath hot against your core.
“Perfect,” he whispered, almost to himself, before he leaned in.
The first touch of his tongue made you cry out, your fingers clutching at the sheets as he worked you with slow movements. Javier groaned softly, his grip firm on your thighs as he held you open, the sound vibrating through you and heightening the pleasure.
Your hips bucked against him, and you gasped, “Javi, please, I’m so close.”
He lifted his head slightly, his lips glistening as he smirked at you. “I love hearing you beg for me, come on let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
His tongue and suddenly his fingers moved together in perfect rhythm, lapping, sucking and moving just right. The tension in your belly coiled tighter until it snapped, pleasure crashing over you in waves that left you trembling. Javier didn’t stop until your body softened beneath his touch, his movements slowing as he kissed your thighs and worked his way back up your body.
By the time he reached your lips, you were breathless, your body buzzing with aftershocks. He kissed you deeply, letting you taste yourself on his lips.
“How was that beautiful?” he murmured, brushing his nose against yours.
“Incredible,” you whispered, your fingers tracing the strong lines of his jaw.
Javier groaned softly at your touch, his restraint visibly fraying. He kissed you harder, his body pressing into yours as his arousal became impossible to ignore. “You sure you’re ready for more?” 
You answered by rolling your hips against him, earning a sharp inhale as he gritted his teeth. “I need you, Javi. Please fuck me.”
That was all it took. He positioned himself, his gaze locked on yours as he pushed into you in one slow, steady motion. The stretch was intense, and you gasped, clinging to him as your body adjusted.
“Jesus,” he groaned, his head dropping to your shoulder. “You feel so fucking good, so damn tight.”
“Move..please,” you urged softly, your lips brushing his ear.
He obeyed, pulling back before thrusting in again, setting a rhythm that was slow but deep. Every movement drew you closer until you couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.
His hand slid between you, his thumb finding your most sensitive spot, teasing it in time with his thrusts. “You’re taking me so well.”
Your nails raked down his back, the pleasure building impossibly fast. “Javier,” you whimpered, your body tightening around him as the tension reached its breaking point.
“That’s it, baby,” he groaned, his pace quickening as he chased his own release. “Come for me, give me one more.”
His words were your undoing. You shattered around him, your cries filling the room as pleasure consumed you. Javier followed moments later, his movements faltering as he buried himself deep, a guttural groan escaping him as he found his release.
For a while, neither of you moved, the room quiet except for the sound of your ragged breaths. Eventually, Javier rolled to the side, pulling you close against his chest. He pressed a kiss to your temple, his lips soft and tender.
He chuckled, his chest rumbling beneath your cheek. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”
You laughed softly, tilting your head to meet his gaze. “You’re not so innocent yourself, Javier.”
His smirk returned. “Get some rest, baby,” he murmured, pulling the blanket over you both. “You’ll need it for round two.”
775 notes · View notes
mysteryshoptls · 2 days ago
Text
SSR Sebek Zigvolt - Nightmare Suit Vignette
"I'll tell you a story that may be of use"
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[Halloween Town – Center]
Sebek: Hey, skeleton!! I brought what you asked for. Where do you want me to put it?
Jack Skellington: Thanks, Sebek-kun. Could you put it there beside the well?
Sebek: Beside the well…? Hey, there's so many things littered all around it! Like this, get rid of this basket right now!
Jack Skellington: Ah, sorry, sorry. I'll do that right…
???: You would like this basket removed, is it? Understood.
Sebek: Ack! Skeleton, move faster! Stop dawdling! Move that basket quickly!
Azul: No need to rush, I've already removed it. So please, you may place your items there.
Sebek: Urk… What have I just allowed to pass?
Jack Skellington: Hm? Is there a problem in having Azul-kun move the basket for us?
Sebek: A massive problem, yes! Urk, being in this man's debt is an eternal blemish…!
Azul: Oh, I wouldn't consider this a debt. That is, as long as I am given a fair compensation.
Sebek: You chose to move it on your own! I didn't ask you to.
Sebek: Who left that basket there in the first place? …Hm?
Sebek: Jack, doesn't that basket belong to Sally?
Jack Skellington: Ah, that's right. She filled that basket up with a few things and gave it to me.
Jack Skellington: Sally is smart and considerate… And just kind, overall.
Jack Skellington: There are times that I'll forget to eat when I get too into what I'm doing. The food she brought me today was as delicious as always.
Sebek: …Inferring from what you've said, it seems she brings you food often.
Sebek: If she doesn't have her basket, she won't be able to bring it to you next time. You should go and return it to Sally.
Sebek: While you're at it, what if you also let her know how you felt about her cooking?
Jack Skellington: Hmm, I guess…
Halloween Town Resident A: Heeey, Jack. I changed up the decorations based on what you said yesterday. Can you check how it looks?
Jack Skellington: Of course. …Yeah, this looks good! Please keep it up with the rest of the decorations!
Halloween Town Resident B: Hey, Jack! Taste this candy for me. I think it came out pretty good.
Jack Skellington: Let me see… Yeah, it's very delicious! If I were to say anything… Maybe it could use a bit more of a kick.
Halloween Town Resident C: Oh, there you are, Jack! There's something I want your help with…
Jack Skellington: Okay, I'll be right there. Just wait a moment.
Jack Skellington: I'd like to return the basket and give her my thanks, but as you can see, I've just far too busy.
Jack Skellington: And that's where you come in, Sebek-kun. If you could just return this to Sally and also let her know on my behalf…
Sebek: I REFUSE!!!
Sebek: …She is always thinking of you when she does this. So wouldn't it make more sense for you to go to her yourself to say your thanks?
Jack Skellington: That's true, you're right, but…
Azul: WELL, THEN!! You may leave the task of returning the basket to Sally-san to me, instead.
Jack Skellington: You're willing to do that, Azul-kun?
Azul: Of course. I couldn't possibly leave you in a quandary by yourself, Jack-san. I shall take this task on in the spirit of compassion.
Sebek: Wait! Jack asked me to do this. Don't just jump into the conversation like this… What are you scheming?
Azul: How could you possibly doubt me…? How rude to think that I could be scheming something. I only wish to be of help to those in need.
Azul: Specifically… to a hopelessly-in-love woman in need.
Azul: And thus, I have a proposal. I'd like for you to allow me to take on this task of delivering the basket. This would, of course, be considered compensation for helping you move things around earlier.
Sebek: .........
Sebek: Fine. I'd rather not stay in your debt, after all.
Sebek: However, I will go with you to go see Sally. I must keep a strict eye on you to make sure you are not planning anything nefarious.
Azul: Of course, I don't mind at all. Besides, you would come along even if I were to refuse, wouldn't you?
Jack Skellington: Uhh… So, the two of you are going to go together, then?
Azul/Sebek: Yes. / Correct.
Jack Skellington: You guys are a big help. Please give Sally a big thanks from me.
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[Halloween Town – Dr. Finkelstein's Lab]
Azul: We've arrived. I wonder if Sally-san is currently home.
Sebek: Sally is helping make the dishes. I would assume she's in the kitchen…
Sebek: HEY, SALLY, ARE YOU HERE!?
Azul: P-Please don't shout like that all of a sudden!
Dr. Finkelstein: Seriously. I can hear you without you raising your voice like that.
Sebek: I don't remember calling for you, Finkelstein. Or… Is Sally not here?
Dr. Finkelstein: Hm, so you're here for Sally, is it? Well, you can't see her.
Sebek: We can't see her? What is the meaning of this?
Dr. Finkelstein: She keeps refusing to listen to me. I've locked her in her room until she comes to her senses.
Sebek: She's locked in her room…? I see, that's why Sally did that…
Sebek: HEY, SALLY! I'M LEAVING YOUR BASKET IN THE KITCHEN!
Sebek: I'm told my voice carries, so I'm sure she heard that. We're leaving, Azul-senpai.
Azul: We were not only entrusted to deliver the basket, but also Jack's sentiments.
Sebek: That can be resolved by him delivering the message himself!
Azul: My own credibility would take a hit if we were to leave a requested task half done.
Azul: However, it isn't as thought we would be able to force our way in… Seems as though we have no choice. We'll come again some other time.
Sebek: …......
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[Halloween Town – Town Hall]
Sally: Good afternoon, everyone.
Sebek: Sally. Jack isn't here.
Sally: I see…
Sally: Oh, no, I mean. I didn't come here looking for him.
Sally: Umm… Oh, yes. I came to thank you for returning the basket, Sebek-kun.
Sebek: Hmph, ridiculous. I can't possibly be the reason you came here. But you know, if you keep it up with your roundabout ways, Jack won't…
Sally: Won't what?
Sebek: We should go somewhere else to talk. Follow me, Sally.
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[Halloween Town – Alleyway]
Sebek: …I'm sure we'll be fine here.
Sally: What's wrong, Sebek-kun? Is this about something you don't want anyone else to hear?
Sebek: That's right. At least, you probably won't. …I'll be frank.
Sebek: If you keep acting in a roundabout way like earlier, you'll never be able to get your true feelings across to Jack.
Sally: Eh!? Y-You're wrong. I don't have any special feelings for Jack at all…
Sebek: YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN TO GIVE UP, HUH!!
Sebek: Have you forgotten what happened when Trey-senpai and I came to help you cook?
Sebek: You jumped out a window. At that time, you claimed that it was faster to do that than take the stairs…
Sebek: I realized that that the real reason was because you had been locked up in your room by Finkelstein. I heard him say so myself.
Sally: …......
Sebek: And while you were unable to move freely because you were locked in your room, you figured out a way to get out on your own.
Sebek: You did it just to see Jack, no matter how many times you crashed to the ground or your body fell apart…
Sebek: I haven't been here in Halloween Town long, and even then it's plain to see your feelings towards Jack.
Sebek: However, that man… Whenever he receives something from you, he just considers you a "kind person."
Sebek: I can't deny that you are, but… Do you truly think that you're treating him no differently than anyone else?
Sebek: Jack Skellington is too thick-headed. For guys like him, you need to tell it to him straight.
Sally: …Thank you, Sebek-kun. I know you're saying all this for my sake.
Sebek: No, I'm only doing this because it irritates me to no end to witness! Both your introversion and his thick skull are frustrating. And I hate how your effort has nothing to show for it.
Sally: Yes… I know it would be splendid to be recognized for my effort. But I can't tell him how I feel.
Sally: Jack is someone everyone admires. He is that Pumpkin King that everyone fears.
Sally: How could I ever stand beside him as his partner…? It's impossible. We're on two different levels.
Sebek: Ugh, just looking at you is making my blood boil. …Here, I'll tell you a story that may be of use.
Sebek: Back in my world, there is a classic story called "Omero and Lietju."
Sebek: With their families opposed to their marriage, two lovers plan to elope… But due to various complications, their plan ends in failure.
Sebek: They were separated and taken back to their respective homes, crying in the belief that they would never see their lover again… Is the gist of the story.
Sally: …That is a very sad story.
Sebek: Mm. However, this story is not simply a sad one. It also teaches an important lesson to those who read it.
Sally: An important lesson…? What is it?
Sebek: Those lovers gave up on trying to make their family understand their love. Instead, they decided to elope and leave everything else behind.
Sebek: I won't go into detail as to how their plan failed, but when it comes to the cause of their tragic end…
Sebek: It most likely happened because they themselves failed to communicate their thoughts and feelings to each other.
Sebek: If only they had shared with each other their plans… If only they had confirmed with their own ears the rumors being spread…
Sebek: It could have been possible for them to have a happy ending. The author of this story probably had specific morals in mind…
Sebek: I'm sure they wanted their readers to understand that it's "not worth giving up," and "communication is key."
Sebek: Maybe every reader out there would have their own opinion, but that is how I interpreted it, at least!
Sebek: Stories are born because we want to convey our thoughts and feelings to someone. And this author probably thought the same…
Sebek: Perhaps they once gave up on something and chose not to communicate it, which led them to some regret.
Sebek: I've read many more countless books, but…
Sebek: There are countless stories of similar tales in which a lack of communication lead to missed chances or conflict.
Sally: Heheh, I see you are a voracious reader, Sebek-kun.
Sally: If I don't give up… If I tell him properly… Would my hard work will pay off one day, as well?
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[Halloween Town – Alleyway]
Sally: If I don't give up… If I tell him properly… Would my hard work will pay off one day, as well?
Sebek: How would I know!? All you can do is believe and keep at it.
Sally: Well, now… What a powerful statement. It seems you have a reason you're able to believe that strongly, Sebek-kun.
Sebek: My grandfather on my mother's side was opposed to my parents' marriage. My mother defied that opposition and married my father anyway.
Sebek: Ever since then, my mother has been earnestly putting forth the effort to gain my grandfather's approval.
Sebek: She'll send him letters with pictures of them, or the whole family whenever she is able…
Sebek: Or she'll bring us grandchildren to spend time with him during breaks, or invite him to dinner whenever there's a special occasion…
Sebek: I'm sure there are many more things she has been doing that I am not even aware of, as well.
Sebek: Still, to this day, my grandfather does not approve of their marriage… And yet my mother continues to believe.
Sebek: If she can just communicate to him that she's married the man she loves, raised a family, and is living happily…
Sebek: Perhaps one day, my grandfather will understand their love. That he'll give his utmost blessing to their union.
Sebek: Actually, I do think there has been some progress. Right after their marriage, whenever my father would try to visit him, he'd be turned away at the door immediately…
Sebek: But recently, there has been an increase in occasions in which my grandfather and father will be in the same room together. Although, even that only happens about once a year…
Sebek: And my grandfather refuses to make eye contact with my father and frowns the whole time.
Sebek: But that all came about because my mother would constantly tell my grandfather how happy she is. That is what I believe.
Sally: I see… So your mother is able to clearly state her feelings just as well as you can, hm.
Sally: But I…
Sebek: Do you still seek to hold yourself back!? But, well…
Sebek: I suppose I can't say I don't understand your worries and frustration.
Sally: Eh?
Sebek: I hold in high esteem Malleus-sama, who is the next in line to rule over my home country.
Sebek: Not only was he born nobility, but he is also a great mage who is world renowned…
Sebek: In addition, he is an amazing individual that I wholeheartedly respect.
Sebek: Every time I witness just how spectacular Malleus-sama is, I am strongly reminded of my own inadequacy.
Sebek: No matter how much I study, no matter how strenuously I train, I will never be worthy enough to stand by him, let alone alongside the other guard.
Sebek: There have been times that I've wondered if I am even fit to be of use to someone as magnificent as him.
Sally: Ah... I know that painful feeling well.
Sebek: However, even if you are inadequate or inexperienced, that is no reason to shy away from standing beside someone you admire.
Sally: …!
Sebek: I aspired to be of use to Malleus-sama.
Sebek: And he, in turn… Allowed me to stay by his side as his guard.
Sebek: Of course, I am still in training. I still lack the knowledge, skills, or experience to be an official bodyguard.
Sebek: However, if I hold myself back, or feel ashamed, then I won't make any progress.
Sebek: All I need to do is continue to put forth the effort while standing alongside the person I admire most so that I become someone that is worthy of serving him.
Sebek: Above anything else, I cannot stand cowardice and negligence!
Sebek: That's why, Sally, you need to put forth the effort. If you desire to stand beside the Pumpkin King, you need to show it with both your actions and words!
Sally: As long as I work hard, never give up, and communicate properly, my feelings may be recognized...
Sally: I think I get it. It might not be able to happen right away… But I will do my best to tell Jack how I feel.
???: Oh, is that Sally and Sebek-kun over there?
Sally: Jack!
Jack Skellington: What are you guys talking about? …All alone with just the two of you?
Sebek: Hmph, nothing that concerns you.
Jack Skellington: WHAT WAS THAT?
Sally: Calm down, Jack. Umm… I was just thanking him for delivering the basket.
Jack Skellington: Oh, it was just about that, huh! I was thinking I wanted to give you my thanks too.
[Jack and Sally chat]
Sebek: Heh, seems as though the day that Sally's hard work pays off is drawing closer.
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[Halloween Town – Center]
Epel: Sebek-kun's being so loud again… And everything he's saying's so unneeded!
Sally: He just wants to make sure people fully understands his thoughts and feelings.
Sally: I bet that's why he's always using a loud voice, so that they can hear him properly.
Epel: Sally-san, don'tcha think you're treating him too nice!? I think it's just because Sebek-kun lacks any sort of delicacy, isn't it?
Sally: That's not it at all. Thanks to the courage I received from his words, I was able to take a huge leap forward.
Sally: I am so glad that Sebek-kun came to Halloween Town… And that Jack and I were able to meet him.
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Requested by Anonymous.
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4vanaa · 2 days ago
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WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING, rafe cameron, 14
summary: y/n left the outer banks years ago, determined to build a life far from the memories of her childhood love, rafe cameron. now a botanist, she's moved on-though a quiet part of her still clings to the past. when an event brings her back to OBX, she's forced to confront the one person she never truly forgot.
cw: none | masterlist | 13 | 15 |
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rafeupdates 13h
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liked by cameronstan and 54,000 others
rafeupdates rafe talking about going to therapy, working on himself, and fixing his relationship with his dad... idk if i'm crying or what 🥺 i attached the clip transcript from the interview!!
#sunshinepromo #rafeupdates
user men who go to therapy>>
user who could he be talking about?? 👀
user probably the same girl he’s been talking about in all his songs
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You stare at the chalkboard menu, your eyes scanning the options but not really reading them. The familiar hum of The Wreck—the quiet buzz of conversation, the scrape of chairs, the clink of silverware—feels strangely distant, like you’re in a bubble of your own making. You take a deep breath, trying to shake the weight in your chest.
“Still staring at the shrimp basket like it’s some life-changing decision.”
Your stomach drops before you even turn your head. You don’t need to look to know who it is.
“Rafe,” you mutter, a sharp exhale escaping your lips as you glance over your shoulder. “What are you doing?”
He’s standing there, hands shoved into his pockets, his blue eyes trained on you like you’re the only person in the room. His hair is slightly messy, like he’s run his fingers through it one too many times, and he’s wearing that same infuriating half-smirk that used to make you weak in the knees.
“Getting dinner,” he says casually, gesturing around the room. “Same as you, I guess.”
Your jaw tightens. “Then order and leave me alone.”
His smirk falters, his eyes softening. He takes a step closer, ignoring the clear dismissal in your tone. “I saw you sitting here, and… I don’t know. I thought maybe we could talk.”
You turn back to the menu, gripping the edge of the counter like it’s the only thing keeping you steady. “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“There’s a lot to talk about,” he counters quietly, his voice threading with a kind of desperation that makes your chest ache.
Your resolve cracks, and you spin around to face him fully, the frustration bubbling to the surface. “God, why do you do that? It’s been years, Rafe. Years. Why can’t you just move on?”
He flinches, his jaw tightening as he looks at you. “You think I haven’t tried?”
“Try harder,” you shoot back, your voice sharp but trembling. “This isn’t fair. Not to you, not to me. I have a life now, Rafe—a good one. Stop showing up like this and pretending like we can just pick up where we left off.”
“I’m not pretending anything,” he says, his voice breaking slightly. “I’m just… I don’t know how to not want you, okay?”
Your breath catches, and for a second, the fight drains out of you. You look away, biting the inside of your cheek to keep the tears at bay. “You’re the one who ended it, Rafe. You made your choice. And I had to live with it. You don’t get to come back now and act like I’m still… like I’m still yours.”
Rafe lets out a humorless laugh, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, you keep saying that. You’ve moved on. You’ve got your perfect little life now, right? But me? I—” He stops himself, shaking his head. “Forget it.”
Your voice softens, but you keep your resolve firm. “Rafe, I’m happy. That’s what matters. You should want that for me.”
He stares at you, his blue eyes searching your face like he’s trying to find something he’s lost. “I do. Of course, I do. I just… I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you again.”
Your heart twists painfully, but you don’t let him see it. “That’s not my problem anymore.”
He stares at you, his eyes searching yours, and for a moment, he looks completely lost. “You’re right. It’s not. I just… I miss you, Sunshine. God, I miss you so much.”
“Rafe,” you sigh, your voice softer now. “You can’t keep doing this to me. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”
His shoulders sag, and he lets out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. “I don’t know how to stop. Not when it’s you.”
You swallow hard, your fingers trembling as you grip your phone. You force yourself to stand your ground, even as your heart begs you to give in. “You have to. For both of us.”
Rafe nods slowly, like he knows you’re right but can’t bring himself to accept it. “I hope he makes you happy,” he says finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
You blink, your throat tightening. “He does.”
“Good,” he murmurs, his gaze lingering on you one last time before he steps back. “You deserve that.”
He turns and walks away, leaving you standing there with the weight of his words hanging heavy in the air. Your chest feels tight, your heart aching in a way you haven’t felt in years. You blink back tears and force yourself to focus on the menu, even as the world around you blurs.
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a/n: going to therapy, so you can get your girl back?!!! i was unfamiliar with your game rafe 😏 also how much angst is too much angst 🫣
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🏷️: @xoxo-ada @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @sleepiibunniiii @urbrunettebombshell @sideboobrry11 @acidfeens @marleymarleymarleymarley @hadids-world @ursogorgeous1313 @louxmcl @cyberkitty1 @pogueprincesa
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rootspiral · 2 days ago
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I'm curious if you have anything more to say on the fight at the start of ep8 between Agatha and Rio. Like, about anything, the face acting, why this was Rio's last straw, why Agatha was surprised it was Rio's last straw.. Or just how good they looked lol.
Fuck, am I really going through these scenes to screencap them again? I guess I am. Let's pretend it's an extra deep dive.
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Agatha has just left Lilia behind dealing with the Salem Seven. She was acting super casual and unbothered with Lilia, but as soon as the door of the iron maiden closed and Jen started screaming, she bolted. And she's running now and she looks terrified, but of what? The Salem Seven killing her? Or Rio catching up with her now that more bodies are dropping? Does she feel particularly guilty about Lilia's death, after seeing her display of incredible power and grace in the trial? All these things together probably, and whatever she's running from, here is her face when she sees Rio ↑
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Then she has to close her eyes and steel herself like we've seen her do so many times, she was completely unfiltered a moment ago, terror showing plainly on her face, and now she's trying to regain control, but notice how it doesn't quite work: she's too shaken and her true feelings are still showing. Also heartbreaking and maddeningly stupid that she feels the need to hide and posture in front of Rio who is just begging for the opposite.
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It's also interesting that Rio, as angry as she is, takes the time to tell Agatha that the Salem Seven are dead and she can relax and stop running – at least from them. Despite putting on her angry face, despite being determined to confront Agatha this time, she still wants to make things easier for her too. But it's no coincidence that she mentions Alice and Lilia, we saw her reap Alice's soul at the beginning of the episode, and right here? She just reaped Lilia. Like, that literally just happened. And it's obviously affecting her. Add to it the whole issue with Billy and Agatha's general behavior, is it any surprise that Rio is upset?
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The finger pointing, the pursed lips and strained smile. "Here you are, breaking rules and breaking my heart again. And here I am, letting you do it like the fucking loser I am." I really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really like Aubrey Plaza's more subtle acting choices.
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And the more she talks, the more Rio gets subdued. She stops acting menacing and scary and you can see vulnerability coming through. I know how you feel about him. I watch you just as close as you watch everyone else. This walk with another's woman son. This is Rio trying to keep it professional when it couldn't be more personal. She's hurt, she's jealous, she's lonely. Fuck, why can't Agatha acknowledge it?
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Meanwhile Agatha is just fidgeting and grimacing and shaking and trying to deflect and run away from the conversation. Rio, even when she sets out to yell at Agatha, ends up trying to reach out and communicate and do the emotional work instead, she still wants this to work so much. Agatha won't let her. She won't move an inch.
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You call what you did special treatment? Look at all that venom, dear lord. Here we have Rio practically begging Agatha to see things from her point of view, to at least try to understand. Agatha, in pure Agatha fashion, grabs her pain like a weapon and starts slashing. She's jealous of her pain, she protects it, she feeds it. It's what helped her survive. Carrying around those three swords in her heart is the only way she knows how to function, no matter how agonizing they are.
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You know when a parent is trying to reason with a toddler, and they sit down at their little table and say stuff like, "I know that you're angry, but your words are making mommy sad," and the toddler inevitably throws a pen or yells or calls them names? And the parent just wants to slap that little shit, and it takes them a hot second to collect themselves? Yeah.
Unfortunately, despite her best efforts, Agatha is not a toddler and Rio shouldn't have to do this. It's undignified, it's unfair, it's too painful. Rio is supposed to be her partner, not a surrogate parent.
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And Rio does collect herself, and she keeps trying. Look at her body language, she's leaning back, tentative, less intrusive. She did the same thing when she was trying to help Agnes, she pushed a little, and when Agnes recoiled she stepped back and regrouped. She's pretty much spoon-feeding Agatha at this point. "Okay, let's talk about the case" becomes "Okay, let's talk about Nicky. I know it's hard but I'm with you. One step at a time. I only need to figure out the best way to save you from yourself and then everything will be fine."
This is what Rio has been doing, watching Agatha and studying her, acting like a therapist, trying to ease her out of her pit of despair as Agatha yells and throws stuff at her. And what I find really poignant is that Rio is literally the physical embodiment of balance, but she's going against her very nature and putting Agatha before everything else, even herself. Rio loves Agatha that much. And it's wrong. It's not sustainable. No wonder Rio lashed out so spectacularly at the end of the episode, she needs to feel big after shrinking and shrinking and shrinking in front of Agatha.
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And yes I still love that Rio the Agatha wrangler has managed to calm her enough to sit and talk. Defenses are tentatively lowered, Rio's plan for getting through that thick skull is going splendidly. Or not.
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Agatha is not letting Rio have her way, not even for a second. She's going to make it as hard as she can. And like I said in my deep dives, despite all she is still expecting Rio to always come back, no matter how much shit she throws at her.
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There is a lot to be said about the way Agatha is addicted to hurting people. It is an addiction, it's her main/only source of endorphins at this point. It makes her feel powerful and in control of the narrative. And it's a vicious circle, she punishes people so when they lash back she can go, "See? See? They hate me, I was right, I was justified!" Rio was only feeding that addiction by coming back over and over again to let herself be pushed around.
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Hey, Agatha? You don't want Death to look like someone just kicked her in the stomach. You literally took her breath away, and not in the fun way.
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You dumb fuck.
Wow, this is still really fun to do, despite it being maybe the two of them at their lowest.
You know what? If you guys want you can send some other scenes my way, especially from the first episodes because I didn't comb them that thoroughly. And Agatha's scenes in WandaVision too, I want to watch those again. But only one scene per ask, please.
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I would so love to see explorations of these two's dynamic that don't take any easy outs from canon (lmk established canon w/ jttw canon filling in gaps)
like something i keep thinking about is that moment in s5 when mac breaks swk out of the 100-eyed demon's memory spell. like we know by this point in the show that in a lot of ways swk has moved on from mac while mac absolutely has NOT done the same - probly bcuz while to macaque he's only JUST got out of the diyu from which swk sent him to and is pissed about that ON TOP OF being pissed about their fallout post the brotherhood's failed coup and the mountain time-out, for sun wukong its been literal millenia since he killed his once-best friend and while it does seem like he's deliberately isolated himself, he's just had time to get past those events
BUT in the s5 scene he's just gotten mentally yote back into this nasty memory as if he's killing his friend all over again. And when he's pulled out guess who it is!! the same guy who he was just re-living the killing of!! And just around the time post s4 where mac slowly (and i mean SLOWLY) starts oozing into this grumpy acquaintance-of-the-heroes role, when swk has also started slowly reaching out as well. Talk about open old wounds, yeesh.
SWK and mac BOTH have been through the damn ringer in regards to "made some Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Life Choices and there is a proportional reaping to sowing ratio (*or IS there??), but in very different ways with very different results, so the fact that Mac ended up stuck in the past while also deeply and continuously traumatized and haunted said past whereas Wukong actually experienced growth (nvm how the show likes to keep making him commit the sin of Is Bad At Communication On Purpose) kinda makes a lotta sense to me
like both Mac and Wukong got to experience Mythological Chinese Hellish Tortures - SWK's punishment included stuff like being fed hot + molten metals/stones while under the mountain, which are in fact things that happen to souls in the Diyu - it was literally meant to be a sort of 'hell on earth' deal, which also does a lot to explain why he was so pissed at Mac (either for not helping escape OR for somehow leaving him to be captured, its a lil unclear) when he was down there. BUT!! the biggest difference between SWK's hellish mountain prison time and Mac actually going to Diyu is that SWK was let out on parole, and forced into doing a quest that induced character growth
bit of a tangent! this kinda parallels my thoughts on prison systems and corporeal punishment, and that just punishing wrongdoing and calling it good doesn't actually do anything productive. Like I'm american: all the prison and justice system things i know of are NOT designed to facilitate growth or better behavior or redemption. So this could be some projection but i believe it may still be relevant! anyways
Now granted, souls aren't supposed to stay in Diyu. You're basically supposed to be tortured until your karma from your life and choices re-balances itself (I think - anyone more knowledgeable than me reading this??), and then you get reincarnated. But Macaque never got to the reincarnation stage, LBD interrupted the process. It's not super clear whether she freed Mac after he agreed to her deal, or if she just Yoinked the emo monkey back to life and then said "you owe me now sucka", but either way - Mac has effectively been experience nothing but being tortured, which is NOT the kind of thing that actually makes a person change. Proof? look at Wukong in the early quest chapters of JTTW.
Bro keeps getting kicked out of the posse due to old habits re: violence as problem solving - the 5 phases mountain didn't actually make him want improve or self-reflect, both in lmk and jttw, the promise of freedom and a new life is what got that started for him. Also, its unclear how long Macaque was in the Underworld, which is where I got back to my asterisked thingy from up in the previous paragraphs somewhere (lol this is getting long )
*so I tried looking up how long a stint in the Diyu takes, and it really wasn't clear. I learned that there's a 3-year waiting period before a soul gets judged by the 10 kings, and that souls will be punished until they're deemed fit for redemption, but no estimates or anything on how long specific sins/crimes/wrongdoings tend to take to be rebalanced....but it does seem weird to me that if Macaque was resurrected within a century or so to LMK's beginning that he was still down there, because the pilgrim's journey took place in the Tang dynasty, which was over 1300 years ago.
If we're taking Wukong's prison time as a measuring stick, then Macaque has had a MUCH longer sentence. Was this because he rebelled against Heaven too, actually escaped, AND also tried to sabotage the scripture quest? Unclear!! But given how much all the celestial characters seem to hold SWK's pre-journey past against him in lmk despite this being post-redemption for the Monkey King, and themes in both lmk and the novel about heavenly characters being this sort of inefficient bureaucracy, it wouldn't surprise me if the point of Mac's much longer punishment was deliberate miscarriage of Diyu protocol to either keep the two monkeys separate OR to just keep the number of celestial primates running around no higher than one (1).
although granted, the understanding of the underworld's punishments at the time of the Tang dynasty were preeeeetty heavy-handed and not really just punishments from a modern perspective, so I could be completely off-base with my speculation if a long-ass stay in hell was just the standard for reincarnation in the case of serious sins and there was no ulterior reason why Macaque might've spent the last 1300+ years in Diyu
wrenching back around to my original point, experiencing nothing but THAT won't improve a person, which is presumably why one is supposed to be reincarnated afterwards, not just brought back to life by necromancers. Like I agree with some takes I've seen that Macaque is this villainous, conniving, obsessive schemer, but to me that's a feature, not a bug - it makes sense for this character to be the way he is, and now we get to watch him actually get a growth arc! Which honestly, has gotten off to a pretty good start in some ways.
Like, despite Mac's seeming constant state of low self-esteem coped with by attempts to bring everybody else down to a similar level of angst and thus his aversion to being actually sincere if he can avoid it - he really does seem to wind up caring about MK. Like for a while, even when he can recognize that MK is a 'good kid', he still mostly sees him as an extension of SWK, 'just a bit too much like him'. That perception gets sucker punched out of the way after the Samadhi fire and s3 finale, when MK does for his best friend what, to Mac, Wukong wasn't willing to do, and stays with her. And in s4, although he is still very much still relying on being this ominous, mildly antagonistic guy to the heroes, he's actually trying to genuinely communicate something that matters to him to MK, bcuz MK also matters to him now! ...He just sucks at it xD
s4 finale, he's right there with the rest of the squad trying to get wukong out and sort of being a member of the team (altho he is very much still holding the past against wukong specifically, like he hasn't grown THAT much), and this continues in s5, with him actually going more and more out of his way in this season, and once again deliberately being sincere and open with MK for the kid's benefit. not to mention the almost-hand-holding with Wukong at the end.
and on wukong's end, he seems to be getting slowly dragged out of his isolationist, self-sufficiency keep-your-secrets-close-to-your-chest mindset just by virtue of the fact that he now has folks he cares for a LOT, running around doing plot stuff and he's gotta be *with them* to help and protect them - something which is getting REAL good since it now also includes Macaque, with the LBD arc done with and Mac no longer being an active threat to the good guys. Like he's clearly NOT over whatever went down between them and still salty as the Dead Sea, but once he can feasibly do so, Wukong really seems to start trying mend bridges with his old sworn brothers - remember how DBK showed up to their beach cookout with a matching hawaiian shirt and fishing pole? And how in the s2 special, Wukong goes like "I missed that guy"? He's not at odds with his old friends because he dislikes them and doesn't want them around
Both monkeys want to be able to care about the people they used to be free to care about with no baggage or drama. The whole deal with the two of them in canon seems to be they're molasses-in-winter-ing their way towards being ready to Talk About It because they both still care (in different ways) but just really stink at facing the other monkey specifically, and I can't WAIT to see where they go with this next
What are your thoughts on shadowpeach?
Fandom wise? I do not care for it.
Canon wise? I believe in men committing crimes while forming the most toxic, unhealthy attachments to one person could lead to such a dysfunctional relationship that it, eventually, turns into a functional one. And also they’re trans and aspec.
Disclaimer: this is all my opinion and people can do whatever they want, i simply have my gripes with some of the fandom stuff. this is just me explaining what i like and dislike about shadowpeach.
I think the most common thing people fall into when it comes to ships—or shipping in general—is how to domesticate these two characters without fully addressing their flaws, personalities, behavior, and their overall choices throughout the original media/show they come from. 
Macaque and SWK both suffer equally through this mischaracterization: Macaque is often painted as this shy or “edgy” character with little to no ties to his actual character in canon and, more often than not, he is perceived as this “dad” type of character when, in fact, he should not be allowed near children for I fear he will bully them nonstop until they sit there in the corner feeling disheartened and miserable about themselves; Sun Wukong is often portrayed as this dumb himbo with little-to-no means of understanding social cues, not understanding emotions in a way that’s very frustrating, and be this yearning, pining idiot who’s still longing for his childhood crush when he did not hesitate to punch this guy in the face multiple times throughout the show. So when they are paired up together it’s this weird mash of people believing Macaque is the better dad with more understanding of human behavior and Wukong is his dumb, doting husband who’s doing his best and cannot stand up for himself when confronted about things.
The amount of times people choose to make Macaque sympathetic by having Sun Wukong’s family side with Macaque when it comes to Wukong’s actions/choices is so vast I could not count them all on one hand. The common trope of having Princess Iron Fan (Sun Wukong’s sister-in-law) become Macaque’s sworn sister is so disheartening to see for someone who read through Journey To The West and thought of how silly the overall family dynamic of the Demon Bull Family and Sun Wukong’s troops was. Removing Iron Fan as Sun Wukong’s literal sister just to have someone backup Macaque and sympathize with him is funny and a bit silly. 
That being said… the canon version of Shadowpeach and its possibilities are, in fact, very delicious.
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Canon wise this is what we know about Sun Wukong and Macaque’s history together: 
Sun Wukong and Macaque meet
The brotherhood is formed after Azure meets Sun Wukong, Macaque tags along with Wukong (note: Macaque is not addressed as “brother” by the characters, only Wukong is)
Macaque tries to warn Wukong about how dealing with Heaven might be a bad idea
They share a peach under a tree; Wukong reassures Macaque this plan will work
Wukong carries on with Azure’s plan anyway (yes, azure lion’s plan, not wukong’s)
The brotherhood is defeated and Wukong gets trapped under a mountain
Presumably no one comes to visit Wukong, only Macaque
During his final visit, Wukong is angry that Macaque is free and can’t see the fact that Wukong was trying to do everything for them and his kingdom
Macaque snaps back at Wukong and calls him an obsessive demon before leaving
They have another fallout and fight
Wukong ends up killing Macaque in the aftermath
500~ years later, Macaque and Wukong fight again with Wukong being more apathetic towards their reunion than Macaque is
Macaque obsesses over Wukong continuously (coughs)
Macaque is biased in his retellings of his and Wukong’s relationship (see: all of shadowplay and the scrolls memories)
They fight (again) throughout S3
They somewhat reconcile by the end of S4
We will address the fact Sun Wukong was groomed into going to war by this former celestial warrior instead of having it be because of his own want to protect his family and friends after Heaven refused to pay him the respect he wanted when he first joined their ranks later. Right now we focus on the fact that Sun Wukong is canonically a person people easily fall in love with (platonically) and have a tendency to want to stay close to regardless of what his future actions will be like and Macaque is sequentially obsessed with him throughout the show.
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“The hero and the warrior were like the Sun and the Moon. Their light, a protective glow, shining upon the world. Together, there was nothing that could stop the two of them. Either in the Celestial Realms or on Earth. As time went on, the hero attained power beyond comprehension. As the hero's light grew, so too did his shadow. And soon, the warrior was cast in that shadow. In the darkness, the warrior was forgotten by the hero.”
Fun fact: Macaque is never going to be on par with Sun Wukong’s power and he works best as support than he does a duo-attacker along side Wukong. Wukong is on his own power level and Macaque, while being able of holding his own against enemies, could be stomped to death by Xiaoijiao is he crossed the line.
Macaque’s obsession with Sun Wukong comes from the inability to move on from the past; Macaque wanting things to go back as they were is a subtle theme going through the show — he keeps latching on to biased memories and avoiding the actual problems that caused their relationship to fall apart and it isn’t until Season 3’s big confrontation with Long Xiaojiao’s Samadhi Fire ritual. He realizes he abandoned Wukong during a time of need and proceeds to flee, abandoning him again. 
Macaque has issues. More often than not people call out on Sun Wukong for abandoning Xiaotian or the Monkie Kid Crew all while ignoring the fact Sun Wukong does not purposefully leave Qi Xiaotian, he tries his hardest to make it back in time and is visibly scared/horrified when LBD attacks in his absence. Sun Wukong tries his hardest to comfort Xiaotian while Macaque tries to torment him. 
Regardless, Sun Wukong and Macaque’s relationship is unique to most media’s portrayal of friends turned enemies. Because Wukong does not see Macaque as a threat up until he teams up with Lady Bone Demon — he is only scary by association, not by anything he has done up until that point. You can tell with the way Wukong mocks him and calls him something akin to a puppet during their interaction in Season 3 when Macaque trapped him and Nezha in the ice. 
And even then Macaque doesn’t even bother trying to engage with Wukong in a friendly manner because kindness is for losers HA i’m not apologizing for anything, bye Sun Wukong, you big old LOSER [proceeds to possibly live on the streets and stay homeless until wukong allows him to return to ffm under certain house rules]
You’ll notice that Sun Wukong barely has any opinions on Macaque.
This is because Macaque is favored by the narrative more than Sun Wukong is so we have very little context as to how Sun Wukong genuinely feels towards Macaque. 
Sun Wukong sees Macaque as an annoyance, a bother, a threat, a coward, an imposter and then, finally, an ally. 
But all we get from that is Wukong handing Macaque a peach-flavored ice cream pop as a parallel to him sharing a peach with his old friend back when they were young monkeys before he was trapped under a mountain for 500 years as a result of his abuser’s power hold on him that forced him to fight heaven as a way to “make the world a better place”. 
We love to see it.
Macaque and Wukong’s relationship goes from mutual interest and a supportive friendship established years prior to the original building of the brotherhood to a very weird, uncategorized type of dynamic. The only way to characterize Sun Wukong’s “affection” towards Macaque is, possibly, the same way most people would characterize Macaque to be towards Wukong. Y’know the slightly judgmental actions and eye rolls and scoffs of affection most people write about Macaque when Wukong does something stupid? Yeah.
“But Macaque said “this guy” when Wukong was presenting his plan to defeat Azure—“ yeah have you considered Wukong does a lot of masking in the presence of the entire Monkie Kid Crew and Macaque has a tendency to present himself as this cool persona when in fact he’s just a homeless monkey who’s been crashing on his ex’s couch for the past weeks since the ending of Season 3? 
“OK…. but why QPR Shadowpeach?”
Sun Wukong throughout the course of Journey to the West and all its past and future iterations have always had him be uninterested in both men and women. There are multiple instances where he’s capable of courting women and he instead backs away or does not pay it any mind; aside from this he’s heavily implied to only care about familial love and friendships. He does not see his pilgrim brothers as anything more than family and he views Tripitaka as a mentor rather than someone whom he was chained to. And Azure was his idol and he was groomed by him, and everyone else was viewed to him as a troop — or, y’know, a family.
This and the fact that— both Sun Wukong and Macaque are over a thousand years old. Why on earth would they have a normal type of relationship? Giving them a checklist of what passes on as romantic and platonic when to them the line is so blurred it’s barely existent to them is amusing. 
Sun Wukong and Macaque having their own weird relationship where it changes from frustrated best friends to partners to angry middle aged demons to the tired traumatized immortals who sometimes cuddle while still beating each other up is so deliciously interesting and unhealthy to the point where it is healthy. 
Also Celestial bodies are not the same as mortal bodies; canonically Sun Wukong has transformed into women before and people have addressed him with female-leaning pronouns before. my personal headcanon of sun wukong being genderfluid lves on and now we can have sapphic shadowpeach with transfem macaque.
also im still feverish so if this doesnt make sense then too bad damn im sorry
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plat3uau · 3 days ago
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I honestly do not know where to begin or how to even write a decent looking introduction, so allow me to just drop this and leave…🤣😭
Okay, but jokes aside, since I’ve been getting really into visual storytelling lately, I just thought “Huh, why not test it out with Jingluo, and capture their dynamic while trying to add a fairytale-like elements to it?”
Also, I genuinely want to become even more expressive through my art, overall… and I guess it’s also an excuse to draw even more stuff related to the two (shhhh, and excuse me for the repetition.😫😫)
Notes on the title (that I think might be needed): I know the matter of language isn’t relevant to the game’s plot at all, but for some reason I’ve developed the headcanon that Luocha is good at picking up languages, as he travels a lot. (I see him just… being very quick at adapting and blending in with the locals’ way of doing things, in that kind of sense. <3)
We don’t really know much about him as for now (still waiting for that lore drop, though!!), but judging from his appearance and aesthetics (so please take this with a grain of salt), he looks like (at least to me) a character from a place based off Europe or the West… So because of that, I had the view that Luocha might have had a harder time actually writing down/learning by heart the Chinese characters (or at least the writing system there) commonly used by the people in the Luofu, when he first set foot there (I mean, I thought of that as it’s a region very much inspired by Chinese culture), since most European languages use the Latin script as for their writing system.
So hopefully this explains why there are two inscriptions: the one on the left side of the canvas is actually written by Luocha, and the other one being the translated version of the title!🥰
(P.S. I tried to translate the title in Chinese to make the Luocha’s writing seem… how to say, more believable? More real? Anyways, I ended up with “我在你身边”, which translates into “I will stand beside you”, so not super faithful to the original title, but I believed that the essence of the general meaning of the original one was still there, so I decided to go along with it.
I’m no native speaker here nor a translator, just a person who studied some Mandarin for a while. T - T❤️)
(P.S.S. I’ll try to keep you updated! My creative process is usually quite slow, so I was thinking that maybe I could share some of the wips with you all. Or you know, just to document some of my thoughts, that kind of stuff. ^_^
Alright!!! I wrote too much, and honestly, BLESS your heart for reading through my stream of consciousness, lmao. But I genuinely appreciate it, I really REALLY mean this.🥺❤️
Thank you so much for taking your time to do so. To whoever reached this point. <3)
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utopiastri · 1 day ago
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Hey ho! Challenge time - open your Spotify Daylist, find the 11th song on the list and write a quick drabble based on the 1st line of lyrics🎵
Send this to 5 friends and feel free to change the song or lyric number 🖋️ have fun!
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(i need everyone to know i was SO determined to write angst for this. and then. spotify gave me footloose. anyway have some lestappen)
i’m punching my card
“Have you heard?” is the first thing Pierre says to him when he sees Charles on media day.
“Heard what? Oh! About Lewis’ new girlfriend?” From the look on Pierre’s face, Charles is guessing he hasn’t heard about Lewis’ new girlfriend. “Never mind, what have I not heard?”
“No, I want to hear about Lew—” Pierre cuts himself when Charles gives him a look. “Alright, fine, I’ll go first. It’s about Max.”
“Max?” Charles says sharply.
“Apparently he’s retiring.”
Charles blinks.
And then immediately starts heading towards Red Bull hospitality.
“Wait!” Pierre calls after him. “You still have to tell me about Lewis’ girlfriend!
———————
“You cannot retire.”
Max, who already looked a little surprised to see Charles in the door of his driver’s room, now looks fairly baffled.
“Retire?” he repeats.
“Yes! Retire! You cannot retire!”
Max’s eyebrows are still furrowed in confusion, but his mouth pulls into a small smirk.
“Why are you so worried about me retiring?”
“Because—because I still need to beat you!” Charles stammers, before adding, “Stop laughing at me!” when Max starts giggling a little.
“Sorry, sorry,” he laughs, “Just…that’s all? Nothing else?”
“That’s all,” Charles says firmly.
“Ah, so it wouldn’t be because you’d miss having me on the grid?”
Charles’ brain screeches to a halt.
“No! Actually, I have thought about it and I think you should retire. Retire today. Right now.”
“Right now?” Max asks, voice light with humour.
“Yes.”
“Tragically, Charles, I’m not retiring at all.”
Charles freezes again. “You’re not.”
“I’m not.”
“Good,” Charles says, before quickly adding, “I mean, bad. Terrible. I am devastated to hear you won’t be retiring.”
“Charles?”
“Yes?”
“Would it help if I said I’d miss you on the grid if you retired?”
Charles feels his face flush bright red and decides to leave before he embarrasses himself further. The last thing he hears before he escapes is Max’s loud laughter echoing around his driver’s room.
Charles supposes, if he had to be completely honest, he’d maybe miss that sound if Max were to retire.
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zepskies · 1 day ago
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Thank you sooo much, my lovely!! 😘💕
Now diving into the rest of your amazing review! 😍
firstly I wanna say i love the phrase thicc thirty lol 😭 secondly I loved how each character was written, it felt true to their nature for sure 🙂‍↕️🫶🏽 as per usual of course :p💞
Hhaha right?! I borrowed that from Lizzo. 😝 And aw thank you!! you know I try to do my best to keep these guys in character.
deans made me so softt🥺 i’m always a sucker for person a noticing person b is off and then comforting them <333 it fills my heart with warmth every time I read it 💗 and the reassurance was lovely!
Girl SAME. I love me some sweet hurt/comfort, so I'm very glad you liked it here too. 💗
oh I felt this 😕 comparison is the thief of joy indeed, but it’s haaard sometimes :’) I mean i’m glad that by now adult me has accepted and acknowledged metabolism differences...for the most part lmao. but it’s definitely taken a lot or time 🫠
Ooh I've missed hearing that turn of phrase! Such an elegant one, and appropriate here loll. I mean yes, I've accepted the metabolism thing too, but it doesn't stop me from envying the perpetually thin. 🤪
oh beau ❤️‍🩹 as wonderful as these all are I think beau’s was my favorite this time around 🫶🏽 it’s so easy to fall into routine and let time slip by :/
I thought this one would fit with Beau especially because he has so much responsibility on his shoulders, and more that which he puts on himself. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 Honestly I think Beau was my favorite this time too to write. Maybe because I've been rewatching Big Sky season 3. 😝
it’s breaking mine too beau, fix it!😭 i wanted to give her a hug so bad lol. completely understandable where she’s coming from :(
Ooh he will! 😏 I'm honestly thinking of creating a full one-shot fic out of this one because I feel like I could've explored more with it.
girl same, call me olaf the way i’d melt for him 🤠 now where can I acquire a man like this 🫠 also that analogy, loveee love 🙂‍↕️🫶🏽
omg right?? I'd melt for this cowboy sheriff on sight. 🫠🫠
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(and also thank you!! I struggled on the "breath of life" analogy, thinking it might be too cliche lol)
(I realized as i’m writing out this review, I may be a little biased because beau’s hc reminds me of the comforts of home 😅 I guess I have a thing for person a neglects person b non maliciously but has to make up for it too lolll <3)
Ooh yeah that's a super interesting parallel you noticed! Maybe I just have a thing for writing that trope? Non-malicious being the key word there. Oh, Sam (and oh Beau). 😩
meanwhile ben makes me laugh, he’s so direct lmfaoooo
YUP loll Ben doesn't mess around. (He doesn't have the patience.) 😂
like ben pleaseeee you did not have to add that ‘now’ 🤣
IKR? Like SIR. Pls. 😂✋🏽
and he’s so serious too 😭 such a romantic :p
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loveeeee this, not just for the spice lol but how he didn’t go all stubborn macho man mode — while he’s not familiar with the new trends and he doesn’t think she needs to change anything, it’s sweet to see he’d be supportive of her regardless of what she chooses to do to make herself feel better — and I only say that due to his outdated mindset 😅💞
Oh yeah, I kind of surprised myself by writing that for his HC. I wondered if it verged on out of character, but I felt like he'd be like, "idc, do what you want, but I don't think you needa do a damn thing" -- type of deal. 😂💚
these headcanons were so wonderful <33 plus sized girly myself, I definitely understand the struggle with those negative thoughts & feelings that can really just take over randomly :/ soft and steamy reassurances sound like an absolute dream 💕🫠 these were so good lovely!🤍🫂
Aww my fellow plus-sized queen, thank you so much!! It's definitely hitting more lately for me. Since I've had some ongoing medical issues, I haven't been able to workout like I used to, so I've gained a bit more from what I'd lost. 🫠 But it's ok! Soon I'll be 100% and able to resume my routine while also not "starving myself" lmao. I'm so glad you enjoyed these admittedly self-indulgent HCs. 😘💕
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Headcanon: Body Insecurity/Appreciation
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Pairings: Dean Winchester x Reader, Beau Arlen x Reader, Soldier Boy/Ben x Reader
AN: This one was requested by one of my lovely Patreon members, @roseblue373. 💜 It's a special one to me personally, being plus-sized myself and having gone through my share of insecurities. Wish I had one of these guys to make it better lol!~
Prompt/Request: Great job with the latest Dean/Beau/Ben reacts vignettes! I'd love to see one where reader has put on weight and isn't happy with their body, and how each would make her feel better!! IF the muse agrees, of course! ❤️
HC: How Dean Winchester, Beau Arlen and Soldier Boy (Ben) would react to your body insecurity.
Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Established relationship, body insecurity (but also body appreciation), thicc thirty, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, spiciness/smuttishness.
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Dean Winchester
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You've started breezing past mirrors when you get out of the shower.
Because if you catch sight of your own reflection, you can't help but utter a sigh, your lips dipping into a frown.
In the privacy of the room you share with Dean in the bunker, you take a risk in unwrapping the towel from your body in front of the mirror.
You inspect yourself with growing dejection, noting all the places that are rounder, heavier, less firm than they used to be.
Looks like no amount of running down leads and killing monsters has been enough to keep you in shape.
Too much shitty fast food, too many times you indulged yourself with snacks and dessert alongside your foodie boyfriend.
"What'cha doin', sweetheart?" Dean asks. He steps into the room while wiping donut icing from the corner of his mouth.
Speak of the devil.
When Dean finally catches you frowning at yourself in the mirror, you inhale sharply and close the towel back up.
"Nothing. Just need to get dressed," you reply quickly. "Shower's open."
You try to offer him a smile, despite the pang of jealousy when you eye him.
He gave you the first chance at the shower after the latest case wrapped up, so he's still wearing most of his FBI suit, sans jacket. The white dress shirt is rolled up to his elbows, a few days of scruff neatly trimmed across his cheeks.
The man can cram an entire pizza down his gullet and wash it down with three slices of apple pie, not to mention countless beers. And still, Dean stays looking downright edible.
By comparison, you feel...fat. Like you've let yourself go.
You turn away from him to grab your well-worn sweatpants and an oversized shirt; you plan to change alone in the bathroom, but Dean grabs your arm.
"Who says you need to get dressed?" he says, popping his brows with a suggestive grin. He slips his arms around your waist, but your instinct is to shy away from his hold. You chuckle awkwardly and avoid his now curious gaze.
"Sorry, babe. Um...I'm wiped. I just want to get to bed," you say.
But Dean isn't fooled. His spidey sense is tingling, and his gut is almost never wrong.
His hand slides down your arm and grasps your hand, tugging you back into his arms. You utter a little gasp, but you ultimately smile at his familiar grin. There's a perceptive gleam in his eyes though.
"You know, seems like you've been pretty wiped lately," he says, raising a brow. "It's been a while since we, uh..."
He waggles his brows playfully, squeezing your hips. You want to smile, but you can't let yourself. You can't quite look at him either.
For Dean, it's another glaring red flag. His lips form a frown, and he dips his chin to find your eyes.
"Hey," he says. "What's goin' on? Talk to me."
His tone is so sincere, you have to blink against the sting of tears. Your lower lip wobbles, and Dean frowns in earnest. He presses a hand to your cheek and gets you to look at him with your watery eyes.
"Sweetheart, you gotta tell me what's wrong," he says, more gently, but serious.
Eventually, you're able to get it out. You can't bear the thought of him touching you, because lately, you can't even bear looking at yourself.
"I know I've been gaining weight, I just..." your voice breaks, and you gesture haphazardly at your body. "I'd get it if you're not really into this right now."
Dean's heart clenches. He's downright shocked at your confession, and more than a little disheartened. He presses a hand to your cheek and guides you to look at him.
"All right, hold up just one damn minute."
His calloused fingers gently brush away your tears, but his hands keep moving, slowly traveling down your body. They slide down your bare arms, skimming the sides of your breasts.
Your breath hitches. Your hand is still fisted over your beating heart, keeping your towel closed. His hands continue to move, molding to the curve of your waist over the fuzzy fabric.
"I'll admit, we've been pretty busy lately with everything we've got going on. But if you think that means I'm ever not into this delectable, sexy, voluptuous, goddess body you got rockin' the house?" he says, grinning that utterly Dean grin of his.
You bite your lip against a bubble of laughter. He's too fucking much sometimes.
Dean tugs you closer, until your hips fit snugly against his through his slacks. His tall, broad frame crowds you. His lips skim your cheek, then over your lips in a tease.
He squeezes the flesh of your hips, tender and sensuous.
Your heart flutters at the feeling.
"Mmm, I like you nice and soft," he murmurs against your cheek, close to your ear. "Feels that much better when I fuck you."
A small gasp gets trapped in your throat, while the gravel depths in his voice go straight to your pussy in a pulsing throb of warmth.
By the time he claims your lips in a devouring kiss, you're all too willing to let him peel your towel open, drop it to the floor, and guide you backwards onto the bed.
There he'll take his time, forging yet another mental map of every plush square inch of you.
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Beau Arlen
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Beau is a busy man. You understand that.
As Sheriff, his job demands a lot from him. He's also a father and has an ex-wife to contend with. (You knew that going in, and you've come to love Emily too.)
However, you can't help but start to take it personally when your sex life begins to suffer. He's often claimed being tired...but there's another suspicion that's been taking root in your mind, feeding your doubts and insecurities about how your boyfriend sees you, and about how you see yourself.
When you slip into bed at night, a kiss goodnight is all he gives you lately, before he's sighing deeply and closing his eyes, his soft snores soon filling the room.
One night, you try touching his shoulder, leaning in to kiss his bearded cheek. He hums at the pleasant feeling.
"You wanna...?" You trail the question in his ear, pressing more sweet kisses down his neck.
"Aw, sweetheart," he groans. "I'd like to, but I think I'd just smother you. I'm about to pass out."
You huff a laugh. You teasingly walk two fingers across his chest. "What if I make it easy for you?"
You shift onto your side. Resting a hand on his chest, you lean down to kiss him. He hums at the softness of it, but the more passion you try to imbue into each new kiss, Beau isn't as responsive as you would like. Eventually, you stop all together.
You frown, becoming disheartened. "You're not into this, I guess."
He opens his tired eyes, gazes up at you in apology. He opens his mouth to reply, but you beat him to it.
"You know it's been a month since we've had sex," you say.
Beau frowns, sliding a hand up your back. Only now does he notice, with appreciation, the familiar silky négligée you're wearing.
"Nah, that doesn't sound right," he says.
"Well, it is," you say. "I know you say you're tired, but I mean, you've had this job for as long as I've known you, Beau." Your eyes fall away from him. "So is the job, or...is it me?"
Beau's brows furrow. "Now wait a minute."
The mere thought dredges up what's been plaguing your mind recently, and it has your throat tightening. Tears of embarrassment and upset well up in your eyes, no matter how much you try to push it down.
You push away from him and turn away, crossing your arms. You try not to look at yourself in what used to be your favorite lingerie.
You can't stand the extra weight you've put on, mostly in your hips and ass, but in your middle and arms too.
You've gone through your own stress at work this year, with less and less time to try and take care of yourself, along with making sure Emily gets to and from school, cooking for the three of you, going to PTA meetings when Carla can't make it (since Beau often can't), and every other proverbial hat you wear.
Beau follows you, sitting up and laying a hand on your back. "Sweetheart--"
"I know I've put on a few. Hell, more than a few," you admit, hastily wiping under your eyes. "God, I can't even look at myself right now, let alone have you--"
"Hey. You stop right there," Beau says, more firmly. He gets you to turn around with his hand on your shoulder. He doesn't like the way you're curled in on yourself, as if hiding your body from his gaze.
That, and the sight of your tears damn well break his heart.
He cups the side of your face gently and presses a tender kiss to your forehead, followed closely by your lips.
You don't want to melt, but you just can't help it. You cling to the front of his shirt and lean into his kiss, like you've been lost in the desert, and his lips hold the breath of life.
You almost don't realize it when his arms slip around your waist. He earns a surprised yelp from you when he gathers you close against his chest and rolls you underneath him.
You land against the pillows in a huff. You stare up at his playful smile, his green eyes glinting with amusement, with fondness, and also with desire as they roam over your breasts, barely contained by dark green satin and lace.
"I've been neglecting you, haven't I?" he says. His voice is a low, earthy drawl as his gaze rakes over you. His big hand runs down your side and over your hip, then down your bare thigh, squeezing soft, tender flesh. He slips that hand under the satin night gown.
His hand can't span your entire thigh, but it's not for lack of trying. Your heart beats a staccato rhythm at the way he looks at you, your breath hitching when his thumb dips between your legs, brushing against the damp, silky fabric of your panties.
"It's not because I don't find you sexy as hell. Believe me, darlin', I do," he says. "You're so fuckin' beautiful, especially when you're all laid out for me here."
And he means what he says. You know it by the hardness you feel pressing against your hip. You slip your fingers into his hair with a sigh.
He bows his head to press kisses along your neck; down and down, he noses at the thin strap of your night gown. His path of kisses continue, and he indulges himself by dipping his tongue between the valley of your breasts.
"Filling out this lacy little thing so nice," he murmurs into your skin.
Your upset has turned to abject relief, but you still have to blink away the remaining urge to cry.
You let out a slightly tremulous breath.
"Oh, yeah?" you ask.
Beau pauses. He pulls away, just so he can look up and meet your eyes. He still finds insecurity in yours, so he meets you with a kiss filled with heat and intent.
He's now wide awake. He plans to take his sweet time taking you apart, inch by inch.
In fact, in the back of his mind, he also plans to do better about letting his deputies help him out more at the precint so he can have a better work-life balance.
(Because going a whole damn month without the taste of you is "no bueno," in his words.)
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Soldier Boy (Ben)
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The man may not be very patient, or particularly perceptive, but he's not an idiot.
At least, not about sex.
He knows that you've been feigning tiredness, and generally avoiding his touch.
What's strange is that you haven't been avoiding him. You still cook for him, still share conversation with him, still insist on having him spoon you on the couch while catching him up on the past four decades of TV shows and movies.
But when he begins to sneak a hand under your oversized shirt (an old one of Ben's), caressing your hip, then dipping down to your softer stomach on the way to your panties, breaking your concentration from the movie as unease laces down your spine.
You grab his wrist on reflex, instead lacing your fingers together.
"What's the matter now?" he asks.
You look over your shoulder at him and find him frowning at you, a divot between his brows. You don't manage to hold his gaze for long.
"Sorry," you say quietly. "I'm just, um, tired."
Ben doesn't believe you, and he's direct when he calls you out on it.
Reluctant to put what you've been feeling into words, you pause the movie and leave the couch (and him) behind.
Ben is annoyed enough to follow you (and underneath, he hides an edge of concern). The conflict leads into the bedroom, where you're still unwilling to open up.
He finally stops you from walking away from him, pinning you against the dresser by your hips. He practically looms over you as he demands an answer. He knows you're hiding something — something that's had you reluctant to let him touch you.
"Is there something you wanna tell me?" he says, a raw edge of warning in his tone. "What, are you fucking somebody else?"
Shock flashes in your eyes, making you angry. "What? No!"
"Well, you seem to be getting your fill somewhere, and it hasn't been from me--"
"Are you fucking serious? I'm not..." Your lips purse. You're actually hurt that he would hurl that accusation your way--and it couldn't be farther from the truth.
You tug your long shirt downwards and cross your arms, but it's more like you're hugging yourself, shielding your body away.
Ben's brows furrow a little bit more.
Eventually you get it out; you haven't been feeling up to being intimate because you're having a hard time even looking at yourself lately.
"I know I need to, um, get back in shape," you say, taking in a shaky breath to try and steady yourself. Your throat constricts, the beginnings of tears stinging your eyes. You want to look at anywhere but at Ben. "I just haven't had much time, with everything going on. But Annie gave me this guide on some different diets, like intermittent fasting, Keto--"
"Fasting," Ben intones. "What, you wanna fucking starve yourself? What the fuck is Keto?"
You sigh, barely resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
"No, not starve myself. And Keto's just..." The idea of trying to explain the new diet craze to your boyfriend is too daunting a task to consider. "Never mind. The point is, I have a plan. My hips, my thighs, my ass--"
Ben squeezes your hips at the mention of them. He happens to like the softness.
"Yeah, you've got a little extra. So fucking what?" he says, his voice deep and exacting as his gaze roams over your body. "Just gives me more to hold onto when I'm fucking you."
You utter a shocked laugh. "Ben!"
He grins lazily, and he turns you this way and that, admiring you from all angles. In his eyes, he doesn't find a side he doesn't like. You can't help but blush hotly under his gaze.
"Sweetheart, do whatever you want if it makes you feel good. But you don't need to starve yourself." His hands move to your ass, squeezing a bit harder on the plush flesh.
A yelp escapes you; he's pressing into you from the front as well, and you feel him heavy and already half-hard against you. You grab onto his arms for stability as your breaths quicken.
His attitude kind of surprises you, even though it soothes the frayed, insecure part of your soul that wants to be as beautiful and attractive in his eyes as he is in yours.
Ben is literally a super soldier. You're actually kind of jealous. The man can drug and booze hard and eat whatever the hell he wants, but his super metabolism just seems to absorb it into his washboard abs.
(The more you think about it, the more you want to smack him.)
Nothing about him isn't hard and lean, muscle and strength.
Only his hands have a measure of gentleless when they're holding you like this.
"I've just got so many stretch marks now," you begin to complain, in an emotional whisper.
He snorts. "And? You think it's anything I haven't seen? I'm not afraid of a little cellulite either."
At that, your head tilts in consideration. Butcher's Granny Fucker remark comes to mind. You bite your lip against a smirk.
Ben crooks a curled finger under your chin. He guides you to meet his eyes, before he lures you into a lusty kiss.
It's somewhat rough because of his beard, but you still smile afterwards, leaning against him now.
"Ain't nothing about you that I can't handle," he adds, all smirking and cocky. To prove his point, he hooks those strong hands behind your thighs and lifts you onto the dresser.
You gasp and cling to his shoulders. From there, he makes quick work of ridding the oversized shirt from your body, revealing you to the cool air and his hot gaze.
You take his face in your hands and bring him in for an even steamier kiss, your heart lighter and trembling with anticipation.
You've held yourself from him long enough, Ben thinks, and he has every intention of devouring you right on your old dresser -- before you two even get to the bed.
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AN: 😮‍💨 I feel like each of these could've been even longer with their own one-shot loll. I wrote the Midnight Espresso-verse for Dean, partially to explore what his relationship would be like with a plus-sized reader. 💖💖
Let me know which one you liked most this time!
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Dean, Beau + Soldier Boy Tag List (Part 1)
If you would like to get notified every time I post a story, feel free to follow my side blog @zepskieswrites with notifications on so you don't miss out. 💜
@hobby27 @kazsrm67 @jacklesbrainworms @foxyjwls007 @mostlymarvelgirl
@thebiggerbear @roseblue373 @this-is-me19 @emily-winchester @riteofpassage77
@deans-spinster-witch @deans-baby-momma @sanscas @mxltifxnd0m @suckitands33
@kaleldobrev @spnwoman @samanddeaninatrenchcoat @pieandmonsters @trashmoutth
@globetrotter28 @adoringanakin @midnightmadwoman @chevroletdean @tayl0rfanatic
@chriszgirl92 @lyarr24 @ladysparkles78 @spnfamily-j2 @everything-is-all-clear
@deansbbyx @sarahgracej @chernayawidow @mimaria420 @stoneyggirl2
@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like @waywardxwords @waynes-multiverse @twinkleinadiamondsky
@my-stories-vault @kayleighwinchester @rizlowwritessortof @cookiechipdough @sixxteenbullets
@tmb510 @syrma-sensei @artemys-ackles @malindacath @mrsjenniferwinchester
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