#I guess idk ask to tag lol

[hexastitchimera]

I'm extremely mentally ill over horrors beyond 4D imagining let alone our very 5 senses and this is perfectly healthy individual behaviour

[deadtower]

SO YOU WANT TO GET HIRED IS NOW LIVE ON ITCHIO! :D

This thirty-page guide is specifically written to help you navigate the world of working-class jobs. In it, I break down what to put in your resume (even if you have no experience at all!), how to dress for the interview, how to play the very confusing and nonsensical world of the working-class interview, and what happens after you drag yourself out of the crucible of the interview on your hands and knees.

It's helpful! It's for those of us who want to know how to get hired for something as menial as a food runner! It's not that long, so you don't need to carve out several hours to in-depth research! It's got jokes — and Brian David Gilbert references!

Please reblog to help reach as many people as possible, because sometimes we all need a little help adulting, and I'm here to share what I know with you, no judgment.

(If you want to make sure I am not forced to be victim to website fees, you can always just send me $3 on Ca$h@pp/V3nm0 (deadtower) or P@yp@l (paypal.me/deadtower) and email me at februaryfirstpublishing@gmail.com with your username/when you sent the money, and I can send you the PDF that way! Also, if you can't afford it, no worries! Just shoot me an email and I'll send it to you discounted to as low as $1, or for free, depending on your financial situation. I want everyone to have access to the resources they deserve. <3)

[puhpandas]

hi. beckory and fronnie parallel

[slavhew]

i thought of this at the start of pride month and then couldnt complete the joke until literally like yesterday

[whump-thoughts]

I am once again thinking about living weapon/guard dog whumpee's....

A living weapon whumpee who is just so extremely conditioned that they will not even sleep or eat if not given permission to do so by their master

A guard dog whumpee that is meant to be at their masters side at all times and also be alert to anyone that could be a threat to them but due to having spent so much time just trapped in a tiny and sound-proofed room being tortured for god knows how long, big crowds or even just like, multiple stimuli will cause them to have sensory overload

Living weapon whumpee that is legitimately terrifying, like they have and will kill at the command of their master and will obey the whims of them without any objections as well.

Multiple living weapon whumpee's! They are all deeply conditioned but also feel a very strong kinship towards each other, even if they cannot show it due to the conditioning

And how about their caretaker's?

A caretaker that is smaller and weaker than whumpee, being unable to carry or restraint them when necessary, yet still is determined to help them

A caretaker that is younger than whumpee and is both scared of and hesitant to help them!, whumpee being completely subservient to them does not calm their fear in the slightest

A caretaker that has given up on deconditioning whumpee, simple trying keeping them in a soothed passive state, where they don't harm others or themselves, but are not healed just using their own conditioning in a different way.

Idk man, sorry if something is written weirdly, it's 3 am and English is not my first language, hope ya thought these ideas were interesting at least.

[shithowdy]

realized a drawing i'm doing rn is almost identically posed to one i did 8.5 years ago of a different oc, except the old drawing was instantly tainted by one of the players featured messaging me asking if i could take it down because their abusive, possessive rp partner saw it and got jealous of them "roleplaying behind their back" and i said "nah" and it became a whole Thing that i should have walked away from at that exact moment but didn't and the 6 months that followed contained some of the most truly condensed batshit i have ever witnessed in an rp community already well-known for its batshittery.

... anyway i love my friends. so happy to accidentally redeem the pose.

[umem1ya]

"I adore you // love you too baby" YOU COOKED SO GOOD ACTUALLY, love the characterization details in ur works!!

HEY ANON LOL DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY??? DO YOU WANT TO SEE ME CRYING MY EYES OUT?!?!

but hm hi. 🤚 hello thank you for speaking about that hello hiiii 🤚 can I talk for a second about it pls 🤚

about endo never truly learning the idea of being lowkey about anything. about him being intense in every aspect of his life, about loving and being infatuated so deeply by everything he even dares to care about.

about how being in a secret relationship would hold him back so much. and he'd be pissed about it but he would understand it so well because he doesn't want to give up on fighting and also he doesn't want to give up on you. so it's whatever, he will try it. for the sake of having fun without hurting what you have, he will try it.

I wrote that part specifically by the idea of his s/o being aware of who the relationship is with. you gotta know that he adores the ground you walk, that he's obsessed with being around you, just like he's with other things, and that just means he loves you. its kinda fucked up. but when he says those stuff you can only hear "I love you" and honestly, takes a while to get used to it, but what else can you ask?

it's about the idea of helping him through it too, you know? constant reminder that when the infatuation is gone, there's still love. when the fights aren't fun or when shit happens, things get messy, there's still your love. :)

[gifti3]

So i headcanon that demons (maybe angels too) have more than 1 heart…

Imagine that one day your demon darling invite you to dinner and ofc you agree! So you’re talking with them waiting for ur meal then it arrives. On the plate it’s a cooked DEMON heart and it’s not just any demon heart it’s your demon’s heart. Them smiling and said “do you like it?”

Apparently, demon do that to express love to their mates and it’s also one of the most imtimate ways (in demon’s sense) to show love.

I need more contents of the boys actually being demon 😔

i fuck with this, not gonna lie

the monsterfucker in me is always intrigued by the differences in how a nonhuman would express their love lmao of course most people would be surprised if their demon lover presented them with their second heart but after initial shock and them explaining if you think about it….you cant help but be (strangely?) touched like wow this person really likes me huh (///∇///) so we r pretty much soulmates! presenting one of ur hearts is a pretty big deal just from a logical standpoint, cause u forever nerfed urself for someone

now actually eating the heart is a whole nother question lmaoo

yea you know demons sometimes like to eat each other (and humans sometimes) but humans dont really do that as a casual activity and it usually gets you ostracized lol

u cant help but feel a little bad not eating it though…they cooked their whole second heart, they had it removed from their body which probably wasnt a painless thing to do but for your demon its mainly a way for them to show their devotion more than anything ,,,tho i know some of those brothers were actually expecting you to eat it lol it would be very funny if you both were sitting there after you were like aww thats so sweet and then he was like….well r u gonna eat it? :]

asmo and mammon come to mind first honestly LMAO

asmo is “kind of” intense when it comes to love and the mammon is a tsundere--"well...are you gonna eat it or what?"（//︶^︶）typa deal--so thats why i say that

and then maybe beel and belphie

beel cause i feel like it might go over his head at first (especially since this involves food) but then he'll remember like oh right humans dont eat that my bad

belphie i just think is hopeful you know...if that makes sense, so hes not surprised if you dont wanna eat it but maybe a bit huffy about it

i think satan and lucifer are too smart and like “normal” to actually expect a human to do that

while levi is... levi

hed probably get self conscious and be like well yea of course they wouldnt wanna eat my heart...

and then u gotta really reassure him its not him its you :d

[pizzagame4000]

NOISETTE THEMED DOODLE DUMP ft. cheesecake and the spouses

copious hazel headcanons under the cut because i can’t help myself

first off: her name is Hazel 👍🏻 ik that’s a common one but it’s literally perfect… canon info to me

her favorite thing to do, besides making experimental food, is actually exercising! she’s an incredibly skilled acrobat and stunt artist, so she needs to be fit for that, but she also just enjoys letting the excess energy out bc she gets really cranky otherwise. she’s toned af and could wipe the floor with you - she doesn’t go around picking fights for no good reason, but if she did… heehee

she has such an unending well of passion for all of her interests that some find her to be too much but she dgaf… she’s unabashedly autistic and does NOT care if you don’t want to hear her infodump about obscure cheeseslime genetics, she will do it anyways

i like to think that, although she is very bubbly, she has an insane morbid streak that catches people off guard. she loves talking about anatomy and gross-out subjects to anyone who can stomach it, and cracks the most fucked up jokes - it’s one of the reasons her and noise get along so well. she is thinking about blood and guts because she thinks it’s interesting!!!! she will give you hyperspecific graphic threats of violence if you make her mad!!! teehee!!

i would put her at like… chaotic neutral but leaning towards good. she has an almost scientific fascination with violence and seeing what kinds of stress a body can take, and doesn’t mind watching shit unfold instead of helping… unless something actually super fucked up is going on (like way past canon typical pizza tower violence), she’s not going to bat for you lol she’s gonna grab a camera and clipboard

her interest in anatomy branches out into a love for biology, medicine and health in general - as much as she loves watching her boyfriend beat the shit out of some chump on live tv, she also loves studying how different creatures work and how to treat injuries. she almost became a doctor! but she didn’t like the rigid schedule and pressure, so she fostered her interest in dance and gymnastics, and went into television as a stunt double instead. that’s actually how she met noise! that’s why they look so much alike - she was told to inquire NTV for a job because of the resemblance. noise thought she was so cool she was asked to be his co-star instead, and they’ve been inseparable ever since.

sometimes she gets tired of the noisette persona, but she does genuinely like theo, so it’s hard. she’s been more busy with this NTV gig (that’s looking more like a full blown career) than she would like, so that’s why she opened her cafe - to do something else for once dammit!! she likes weird shit, food included!!!

i have two shipping scenarios i like, so consider these parallel universes - hazel x vigi, and hazel x vigi x noise

if you don’t like negative takes on the noise relationship i’d recommend skipping to 2 ^_^

1. her relationship with noise deteriorates bc noise can’t accept the fact that hazel doesn’t wanna be noisette all the time! they’re so busy, he barely even makes time for her anymore - he barely even tolerates her! it’s not until vigi comes into the picture that she realizes she doesn’t have to deal w that mess. but it sucks cuz noise isn’t just her bf, but also like!!! a big part of her career!!! and she does genuinely love him but he’s just!!! an uncommunicative ass!!! it culminates in hazel leaving him and crashing at vigi’s farm because fuck it, it’s her life she does what she wants. she will kiss the cheese AND rebuild her tv career, on her own terms this time baybee

2. noise and hazel still have that issue but they actually communicate like adults and fix their relationship problems, so none of that shit happens! happy ending! hazel has her own life and theo actually lets his gf know he loves her! woah! enter vigi, in: “we saw you across the bar and we really dig your vibe…” imagining vigi as a third to hazel and theo, completely out of his depth but too bisexual to care, is SO funny to me lol… like hazel and him are probably the only two together at first but over time he and theo warm up to each other more (gay intent) and it’s perfect

[brainrotisseriechicken]

hi hi I really love your work ajskejke

im curious about how you paint cause it looks so fucking cool and I love the lil textures and patterns (/nf to answer ofc)

hi!! im VERY bad at explaining so hopefully this helps ??? also id love to use older art as an example but theyre stuck on my old laptop that crashes if i look at it too hard

sketch/lineart + multiply layer note; i actually think sketches n lineart tend to be more fast and loose than final renders so i get rlly fussy over preserving the sketch in the final.

shading layer

note: im p sure this counts as ambient occlusion? i dont have much to say, its just basic shading, sometimes i use the airbrush** for clothing

rendering !

note: the color layer has its opacity turned down to 70% for clarity purposes, the chart isnt rlly representative of how rendering normally goes im unfortunately NOT that put together. lol

this is all over the place im really sorry dude

[bionicboxes]

a man with no name died last night and i woke up wearing his face

[crazysodomite]

when i was a little child my mother told me that if i misbehave (i dont exactly remember what she wanted me to do) a giant worm would eat all my organs from inside and exit my body out of my mouth. she described it so viscerally that i can still clearly see what i imagined back then

[anris-resurrection]

There's a trend in the tok where u draw urswlf possessed by Bill everyone's are so fun lol. here's mine (now show me urs >_>)

[bigkickguy]

magna medical

[skyward-floored]

How did Malon get her brand scar? 🥺 (Downfall IAU)

- hero-of-the-wolf

You are so good at poking my brain in just the right way to make me want to write things Wolf (...or Emmie? I just looked at your blog and realize you go by that skhjhsfjkhkld) and I couldn't resist again. writing a little fic was easier than just explaining it all XD

This is set like... further back-ish. Time is probably still alive though, and Twilight and Legend are younger. Aside from that... vague. lol.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I’m sure you know why you’re here, Malanya.”

A glare was all Dark got in return from the woman in front of his desk, her hair falling in her face. It was coated in nearly as much dirt and animal hair as the rest of her was, and there was a streak of blood across her cheek. She looked exhausted, and Dark was certain she still had a fair amount of adrenaline coursing through her based on the faint tremble in her limbs, but none of that really concerned him.

“Well? Aren’t you going to say anything in your defense?” he asked after several moments had dragged by.

“You’ve already decided I’m guilty, I don’t see the point,” Malanya finally said, voice short.

“Try me. I’m curious as to why we caught you breaking into a restricted area, and seemingly doing nothing but releasing animals that are government property,” he said, crossing his arms behind his head as he leaned back. “Alone, at that. Unless... those other footprints we found weren’t actually more of your own?”

Some of the color leeched from Malanya’s face, but her expression stayed remarkably level.

“And... it’s strange, too, but some workers seem to be missing after the events of tonight. Let’s see... Romani, I think was one of their names?”

More color gone.

Dark hummed, rather amused by the situation she’d landed herself in. He knew full-well what Malanya’s goal had been on this mission of hers— both goals, in fact. But he enjoyed making her squirm. It was nice to exercise some of the power he’d painstakingly built face-to-face sometimes.

Especially towards the wife of the man he had personal beef with.

Oh if only I could be there to see his face after this.

He'd been trying to catch her or her husband in incriminating circumstances for years now, and she'd practically dropped this in his lap. She'd been sloppy, Dark could only assume because her cousins had been involved, and now he was reaping the rewards.

And the perfect opportunity to show why I shouldn't be crossed.

“Do you have anything to say in your defense now?” he asked, and Malanya regained some of the fire in her eyes.

“I don’t know about missing workers, but I do know you weren’t using those animals for anything except cruelty,” she spat, eyes blazing. “I could hear them crying out every time I went past, and I refused to let them suffer any longer. Do what you want with me, but I don’t regret freeing them.”

“Dangerous words,” Dark said, smirking at her. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you want us to punish you.”

Malanya went silent again.

Dark let out a theatrical sigh, and glanced at the guards holding her, then back at her face.

“I think a lesson in obedience is necessary here,” he said in a soft voice. “Though... the punishment has the potential to be lightened, if you decide to tell us about any partners you may have had helping you.”

“There was no one else,” Malanya said smoothly. And Dark almost would have been inclined to believe her if there hadn’t been just enough evidence pointing to the contrary.

But he was willing to be gracious. If this was what she wanted, who was he to deny it to her?

“If you were the sole instigator, that would mean a much harsher punishment,” he said in a low voice. “I’m afraid an action like this is simply something we can’t ignore.”

Malon raised her chin, and looked him in the eye, her blues as fiery as her hair.

“I was the only one involved.”

Dark couldn’t help his chuckle, and he stood, walking around to her side where she couldn’t easily see him. “I see once again why Link married you. You know, your fire is something I’ve always admired, I’ll admit.”

He leaned close to her ear for his next words, and reveled in the way she flinched from his breath on her skin.

“We’ll see what he thinks of the mark this earned you.”

Her eyes went wide, and Dark smirked at the slight hitch in her breath.

“Yes. Normally you’d be imprisoned for a period of time, or sent to a work camp for a while for an action of this caliber, but I think a branding will serve as a much better warning. And reminder, in case the idea of doing this again ever happens to cross your mind. It sends a much stronger message to everyone, don't you think?”

“You don’t have the authorization to carry that out,” she breathed, and Dark grinned.

“No? Didn’t you know? I’ve been promoted again,” he said, watching in delight as her expression fell. “I’m now the head of the entire Department of Superhero Surveillance and Inspection."

He leaned in so close to her face that he was only inches away from Malon’s nose.

“Which means I control your entire life.”

“You won’t keep getting away with this,” she said in a voice so quiet he barely heard it. Her face was definitely pale now, with a glimmer of fear shining in the blue, and even the guards had exchanged glances when Dark had mentioned her punishment.

Which was exactly how he wanted it.

"Nothing's stopped me yet," he smiled in response, and poked her nose, just to see her flinch. "Dismissed. You know where to take her."

Malanya struggled as she was lifted to her feet by the guards, but it was halfhearted, as if she knew it was pointless. That or her exhaustion had finally caught up to her, but Dark didn't care much about which it was as she was dragged away.

He was too busy imaging the look on Link's face when he heard and saw what had happened to his beloved wife.

[skyloftian-nutcase]

So how would Ganondorf fit into the whole hdw/imprisoning war thing? Like how does he act and stuff

Well, given that me throwing Power into @skyward-floored’s HDW AU is literally just for fun (also Peggy’s fault, she started it LOL, I’m saying this lightheartedly and lovingly XD), I’d preface that it doesn’t really matter.

HOWEVER

I imagine Peggy is just utilizing Ganondorf as he is in canon for her AU, as the focus is on Link, Impa, and Volga, not our favorite pig dude, i.e. Mr. Foaming-at-the-Mouth-Evil-because-He’s-Eeeeeevil. In Golden Mercy, however, he gets a redemption arc, bred from crushing guilt and regret. So I suppose the happy medium if we’re talking our silly mixture of the two is that he’s more akin to Wind Waker Ganondorf: somber, remorseful, but still 100% willing to kill children to get what he wants.

But I imagine he’d do anything to hold Power and protect him. So make of that what you will. But in the end, it doesn’t really matter as this is just a silly mix of AUs ;)