#I guess I'll have to start writing one myself
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I've got a few Lacey requests, if you don't mind! Could you do either: 6. or 20. for Jay with a male reader 12. for Lacey with an equally insecure transfemme reader. You can do any or none of them if you like! Thank you for considering!
Jay being your secret admirer
Pairing:Jay x male reader
A/n:Sorry, I don't write for trans readers just because I'm not trans myself and don't think I could write them well. Hope you still enjoy this. Also, I did this because I wanted to start writing for Jay and Maisie too to celebrate the lacey games trailer. Also, all of my lacey posts will take place in the same au where all of the main girls are dating their own version of y/n cause they need love.
Lately, you've been receiving some weird things on your doorstep. It's nothing creepy, quite the opposite, in fact, it's very romantic things.
It's mostly love letters in which the mysterious sender writes about how much they admire you and love everything about you. They describe everything about you in details and compliments.
The letters are always signed "your secret admirer" and are often accompanied by flowers, your favorite type nonetheless.
While the content isn't creepy in on itself, the fact that your dear friend Lacey had a similar experience with a stalker, which she thankfully managed to get out of, made you uneasy to accept the letters as actual love notes so you decided to talk to your friends about it.
"You have a secret admirer? Dude That's so cool"
"Is it? It kinda makes me uncomfortable"
"O-oh does it?"
"Yeah i mean, remember what happened to Lacey?"
"......yeah"
"It's not that bad, thankfully but still"
"Don't worry if you're ever in danger just tell us, we can help you"
"Thanks girls, you're the best"
"Don't mention it, it's the least we could do"
You all fist bumped each other and then you started talking with Jay, which seemed uncharacteristically nervous
"Hey Jay, wanna go skating today I know-"
"N-no it's fine I'll just hang out with Lacey and Maisie"
You looked at her a bit suspiciously but shrugged and left, saying goodbye to everyone. Jay breathed a sigh of relief seeing you go away, since she probably couldn't have kept a straight face anymore around her crush, but quickly got worried again as she saw her friends approaching her with teasing smirks on their faces
"Soooo when are you gonna tell him?"
"Eh? W-what are you talking about dude, I don't have to tell h-him a-anything"
"..............."
".....is it that obvious?"
"I mean........."
"It's a miracle he didn't find out yet"
".....y-yeah"
"Why didn't you just confess?"
"You have any idea how hard it is? I was sweating just writing the letter"
"But why? I'm sure he loves you too, you two basically always hang out"
"I don't think so, he probably thinks of me as just a friend"
"Why do you think so?"
"I mean I'm not girly like you two I don't think he-"
"Stop it there, Jay, you're amazing in your own way, and if y/n really loved you, then he'll do it because of who you are"
"Oh.....thanks lacey...i-i didn't expect you to say that"
"O-oh thank you, m-my partner says stuff like these all the time to me so......it just stuck I guess"
"Well did you hear her? Go and get your man, it's even valentine's day so it's perfect"
"Yeah! Thanks dudes!"
Jay said goodbye to her friends and quickly skated away to pick up another bouquet of your favorite flowers and one of the letters she had already written, then rang the doorbell to your house and took a deep breath to calm herself as she saw the door opening
"Hm? Jay? What's with......the....flowers"
"Hey dude, i-i mean y/n, so yeah I'm your secret admirer, please don't think I'm weird I wasn't stalking you or anything I just really know your face, a-and was too scared to confess. I want you to know that everything I said in the letters was true, I really, really like you.....a-and so....wanna be my boyfriend?"
"......I'd love to"
".....wait seriously?"
"Of course, I love you too Jay, I never confessed cause I thought you only thought of me as a friend"
"Really dude!? Me too! I thought I was way too boyish to be your type"
"What are you saying? I love tomboys and you especially"
"Really?"
"Yeah, you're so cool, I love how boyish you are if anything, it makes you special and so I love that"
"W-wow that's great! So are we like a thing or something now?"
You smiled and hugged her, making her blush, then proceeded to kiss her on the lips. She loved your lips so much that she couldn't help but feel disappointed when you pulled back
"Does that answer your question?"
"D-definitely"
"OK so now wanna go skate? As a couple"
"Sure thing dude! I bet it feels so much better than skating as just friends"
"I'm sure it does"
#lacey's flash games#lacey games#lacey's wardrobe#lacey's diner#lacey games x reader#lacey's games#lacey's petshop#lacey's games x reader#lacey's flash games x reader#jay x reader#jay lacey games#jay lacey games x reader#jay#jay lacey flash games x reader#x reader#x male reader#male reader#jay lacey's flash games
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Widows rest
My take on a Black widow! Reader x Batman and Batfam but with a slight twist, reader doesn't know the Bats but they seem to know them...
Warning: contains avengers infinity war spoilers, black widow spoilers, poor writing, possible ooc,
Part 13: dinner and a movie?
🔹🔹🔹
“Hello.” an unknown voice calls out to you from the library doorway, you quickly turn and spot a redhead in a wheelchair holding the door open with one arm.
“Hi there, are you one of the befores?”you watch as she wheels herself into the room, the door falling shut with a quiet thud as the carpet crunches softly beneath the wheels. “The befores?” She tilts her head, glasses slipping down her nose a bit before she nudges them back up.
“The people I apparently knew before the attack.”
She pauses at that, before nodding her head. “Yeah, I'm a before. I'm Barbara Gordon, nice to meet you again. Please call me Barb.” She holds her hand out for a handshake which you give, her hold unsurprisingly firm.
“Like wise, I'd introduce myself but that'd be foolish.” You drop down on the couch behind you after the introduction, lightly wincing for a moment. “Funny, are you in pain?” she puts the brakes on her wheelchair beside the couch and pulls a lemonade out, watching you curiously through her lashes.
You shrug before answering, she likes to stare you note. “Physical therapy is a bitch.” You also fell on your side earlier while trying to hold a plank, but that's for you alone to know.
She snorts at that, “oh, trust me I know exactly how much of a bitch it is.” She mutters under her breath, when you glance at her with furrowed brows she elaborates. “Spinal injury, long story.” You nod your head with a small wince, you've had enough of those types of injuries in your life.
“noted, well Miss Barb can I ask what you're here for? Not to be rude, I just don't remember much yet.” You go straight for the point, she seems relaxed but you don't miss how she watches your every move, head quickly turning towards you when you reach for the book you'd been reading when she came in. She's on edge around you.
“Dick invited me over for the movie.” She says casually before taking a loud sip of her drink, the memory of the overly touchy young man nearly makes you roll your eyes, of course he's here-wait… “what movie?” Barb smiles something devious, looking amused with herself for a moment before replying.
“oops, guess Bruce didn't tell you yet. Just between you and me he wants everyone to have dinner and watch movies with him in the cinema room, you included.”
….. What? You give her an incredulous look at that revelation, her expression and body language showing she's serious. “…alright, is this something the family does often…?”
She nods, still looking amused at spilling the tea before anyone else could. She leans closer to whisper conspiratorially to you. “Mhmm, usually it's Duke or Alfred pushing it but I think your man wants an excuse to spend time with you. Just treat him like a boy with a crush, yeah?” “…okay?”
She pats your shoulder almost patronizingly before taking the brakes off and rolling herself towards the door, calling to you over her shoulder as she goes. “I'll see you in a bit, operater!” The door slams loudly behind her.
🔹🔹🔹
dinners awkward, as soon as you’d walked in barb gave you a knowing grin before turning back to her conversation with cass and an unknown blonde girl. the blonde, upon seeing you, hopped up out of her chair and approached you.
“howdy partner.” they winked and gave you finger guns, looking you up and down with exaggerated scrutiny while starting to circle you.
you watch them with confusion, you’re guessing they’re one of the kids friends…
“…hi, we’ve met i’m assuming….?” “yep! call me stephie!” they nod with a smile and loop their arm through yours and pulling you with her towards the table, sitting you between her and dick, great.
the rest of the dinner was spent between two very chatty young people, by the end you understand captain rogers complaints about slang.
you tried to slip away after dinner, you even had the perfect excuse too. you were tired after physical therapy and wanted to crash early, but then you were cornered by bruce of all people.
“….hey, are you busy?” his voice is soft as he approaches you, he leans against the wall with forced casualness and crosses his arms loosely.
you shift slightly as you glance down the hallway and then look back at him, “i was just heading to bed, why?” barbs words echo in your head as he rubs at the back of his neck, is he still nervous around you?
“me and the kids were dogpiling in the screenroom….you wanna come sit in for a bit?” he smiles at you, though you can tell it’s forced. you glance down the hall again, he could invite his affair partner if he wants someone cuddly. you open your mouth to reject the invite when he speaks up again. “you don’t have to watch a whole film, i just think it’d be good for you to be around loved ones right now. maybe you’ll remember something?….” that’s practically a beg, you’re surprised he’s not on his knees for you right now.
just say no, your attempts at blending in won’t suffer if you’re too tired to play dollhouse. “……a few minutes won’t hurt.” why did you agree. but before you can backtrack he exhales and grabs your wrist to lead you, you’re so fucked…
you’re lead through the large house until you reach some kind of home theater room, barb and the two girls are again talking on one of the couches while tim leans against the stephie girl, damian is sitting in the floor with a large dog curled up trying to pretend it’s a lapdog, and dick is watching jason and duke bicker over something in the center of the room.
when bruce drags you in all eyes turn to you, there’s a moment of silence where you’re just awkwardly staring at each other before bruce clears his throat and pulls you further in the room to one of the couches.
“what’s the verdict, who’s picking this time?” bruce glances around as he speaks, his eyes landing on a scowling duke and a smug jason. “i want to watch the godfather again.” duke cuts in before jason or anyone else can. “dude, that was your pick at halloween. we’re not watching it again.” jason rolls his eyes as he walks over to you. “it’s a great movie!” duke calls out defensively as he follows jason.
“how about we watch something more light tonight?” dick tries to mediate, damian scowls up at him from the floor. “no, i’d rather watch the godfather again than sit through one of your disney movies.” dick looks offended at damian’s scoffing retort.
bruce sighs as the bickering morphs before your eyes, “come on let’s play nice, i thought you all had something picked out already?” “i just wanted to watch lord of the rings.” jason crosses his arms as he speaks, stephie rolls her eyes and speaks up from her spot on one of the couches. “you can’t just watch one of those though, we’re not sitting here for nine hours jay.” “you wanted to watch the barbie movie collection at christmas shut your mouth about long movie runs stephanie.”
you drop your head back against the couch while they bicker, bruce slowly sits down next to you at a respectful distance and drapes a blanket over your lap. it feels like he’s trying to keep you there. barb looks over at you with an amused smirk on her face, pointedly glancing between you two before turning back to her conversation.
“enough fighting guys, just pick something please.” bruce pinches his brow, clearly fed up. no wonder he’s going grey.
“how about we let master wayne decide? they should feel included yes?” a voice speaks up behind you all, alfred walking in the room with a sly look in his eyes. you bet he knows you don’t want to be here, he looks too smug as he sets down a tray of snacks and drinks.
the kids all exchange glances and turn to look at you, bruce shifts beside you and turns his head to speak quietly to you. “you don’t have to answer, i know you don’t know any of these movies so i can just pull rank on the kids.” you turn your head to also speak quietly, “it’s fine, i’ll manage somehow.” you glance at duke. “let’s watch the godfather.” you speak loud enough to be heard over the quiet bickering still happening.
duke throws his hands up in victory, “yes! suck it jay.” he quickly dodges the tossed pillow and goes to fiddle with the projector, looks like you’re resigned to sit here for a few hours.
🔹🔹🔹
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Taglist: @cxcilla @mercuryathens @dind1n @redsakura101 @ninihrtss @let-me-dance @ladykamos @one-piecelover @cuntiesweet @omnivirgo @shirp-collector-of-fixations @spidermanluvr444
#dc x y/n#dc x reader#batman x reader#batfamily x reader#batman fanfiction#bruce wayne x reader#batfam x reader#bruce wayne x gn!reader#bruce wayne x y/n#black widow reader
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I'm noticing an uptick in comments complaining that most of the current WIR fandom content is Turbo instead of the other characters and, like... you guys know you can search other characters by their specific tags, right??? Or exclude Turbo from search results by temporarily blacklisting him in your filtered tags?
Idk, it's just weird to me to be discouraging towards people making fandom content just because it's not the specific content you want to see, like, it's ok to want to see other content, but complaining about how other people aren't catering to your tastes enough instead of just making the content you want to see yourself is kinda bad vibes, y'know?? (And that's not to say that I think those comments are intended out of malice of course, I really don't think they are, I just wanted to point out that it can come off as a little entitled, as well as discouraging towards people who just want to draw Turbo, which is something that should be fine if that's what they want to do. Fandom should be fun for everybody, and there's lots of tools available to curate your experience with it!)
#Wreck It Ralph#It also doesn't help that there was a solo Fix-It Felix drawing literally right there only a few posts down from one of these posts and-#-it went ignored?? Like people are going to draw more of the characters you want if you actually show appreciation towards those posts guys#Also this isn't towards any one specific person it's a complaint I've seen like four times in the past few days and I'm like ???guys???#Like heck the entire reason I started writing a Candybug fic was because I couldn't find any SFW fics with him as a Cy-bug#So I was like “Oh ok then I guess I'll just do it myself” lol#And then there's that person who was like “I want more Ralph+Vanny content” and then drew an AWESOME VANELLOPE LIKE??#This is something I also noticed a while back with people making passive-aggressive posts about artists that don't draw Turbo chubby#Like it's ok to not vibe with that but what do you gain from making people feel bad about how they do things y'know?#Be the change you want to see in the world!! Create art for the other characters you like!!!#The one thing we all have in common is our ability to create! So if you can't find the kind of things you want to see from others then-#-try making it yourself! It's lots of fun and then you can also provide more art for other people who might be looking for what you were!#Idk maybe I'm just overthinking things I have no idea lol#I just feel like risking discouraging or making people feel bad about just creating Turbo stuff isn't the way to go about it
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I feel like if I didn't know how complicted Dick and Roy's relationship is, I'll think Ollie caling Roy robin is cute, but knowing...
Ha. Guess Batman isn't the only one who have the oh-so-rare abillity to plan things from ahead!
GREEN LANTREN RING?! WTF, I TAKE THIS BACK, HAL!
And, all the things he colected were rings, right? weird?
I understand they want everyone to match on the cover, but Dinah really should hold the arrow in her mouth?
I love how every chapter start with the same sentence. " I was dead. I come back to life" and now something about the things that will happend in the chapter. cool writing.
Unrelated, but why they were superhero outfite to romantic diner?
He gonna propuse. I already sew it, but... will this work?
Roy and Ollie. just them -ihfspdddddddddhf[[a??????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ivhfsbiwgphhhh?! THEM?!
Oh, Connor and Ollie. I love this so much. they will share a name! I think i talk too much about Batman here but... Bruce, he trying, but Ollie is the one who suscess, you got me?
SHIT. He knew abot Connor.... oh no.
"Hal used to tease me for never having a rogues gallery... but it's only because my best enemy has always been myself" bfoooooooeiiiiewgbp
"even when I take my mask off... I'm still wearing another." irrrresprrrrrrrrrrrrsgb;fndk
He decide to give then to Roy insted!
it's clear how much I love evrything? it's clear how everything make me go infspipbbbbbbbsgrh? bc I want this to be clear
Two (2) issuess into Green Arrow 2001 and I want to kill Mia's "boyfriend" with an axe sooooooooooooooo bad
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Coding woes (Patreon)
#Doodles#Original#Ukadevlog#Bug testing sure is something lol#These are both problems I've figured out now luckily! And I did them on my own! :D Extra pleased with myself :3#My slightly cocky attitude of ''Well that was frustrating - luckily I'll never run into another problem again'' amuses me lol#'Cause in the moment everything's flying! The code comes together lovely and it's all great! And then I come up to the next thing#Something I haven't done before - something that there's no Direct how-to of how to do a thing#Like setting player-and-character pronouns! I didn't know how to do that! But I figured it out!! :0 What a rush haha#It really did take me an evening of knocking my head against the wall in attempts - I waaaayyy overcomplicated it to start haha#I was like - trying to set up a system that would call on specific pronoun sets individually based on player input#Ridiculous - so much easier to just slap some values into an envelope and have those tied to a specific shell lol#But that took all night! I got sleepy while working on it and even my drowsy brain was like Wait...what am I supposed to check against? Haha#Such a weird experience subconsciously as well :0 'Cause I had normal dreams that night#Maybe some slight code-adjacent dreams of A Screen With Text On It but that could be anything :P#Most of it was just normal dream melodrama - but in the few times I woke up to readjust or roll over or pull my blanket#It was juuuuust enough for my ''conscious'' brain to kick in and think about what to compare against - what structure would work#And so by the time I woke up proper I had to frantically write down a bunch of code in a spare word document so I wouldn't go stir crazy lol#Breakfast must wait! Dailies must wait! I Have to write this down!!#And when I implemented it - it worked exactly as I hoped it would and is much much Muuuuuch simpler to call upon haha#Wow! That was a weird fluke that definitely won't happen again! Haha#I don't actually believe that I just have no way of guessing which aspect will trip me up - This Should Be Easy! And then it isn't lol#Definitely didn't predict the second - Especially because other than a small roadbump of not knowing how to Shell-Switch (ty again Cherry ♥)#Everything up to then was going well and everything after that was going fine! Until The One Thing happened pffbtl#I wanted to assign a value to check if a specific piece of code was being called upon - basically a fork between two outcomes#That went fine! The value Was changing! But only the first fork was being called???#No lol I just didn't put the second = ugh pft - and what's more frustrating is that I'd been using == up to that point!! I'd been warned!!!!#I - for some reason - was convinced that using && would make the value check Only need to check If x = 1... That's not how it works......#It's an If statement! If x = 1 then why do I have to check IF x == 1! Just check!!! Hwagh rules and whatnot lol#Like I said it's all fixed now but sheesh! What a silly mistake! I knew better!! And now I double know better haha
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"Hey Mozart, what kinds of things do you draw?"
Occasionally good, mostly shitposting, and apparently I redesigned Piano to be a judgmental goth.
And here's one time I drew Ruby-Spears Bass + Piano + Zero:
I've been drawing since I was 8 years old I'm very serious.
#my draws#moz banter#moz banter is for text posts/ones where i talk to myself#i don't really interact with the larger fandom cause tbh it's scary as hell#the salty wily twins#that's my tag for posts about bass and piano#maybe someday i'll write up a post about this explicitly not-canon very AU timeline i've got going#also i have a fully body shot i've been working on for that ruby-spears design of piano i just need to finish it#and the script for the 'episode' she and bass are introduced in#i have fake production notes too it's silly#anyway if you ever want a sampling of what kinds of things i do there's the tags 'my draws' and#mozart's robot rebuild#robot master piano#'moz banter' counts too maybe i guess#this all started because of mmx/dbz crossover rp you know?
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yesterday i suddenly got so sick at work i barely made it home 🥴
#not me talking about overworking myself just a few days ago omg... my body really said if you don't stop i'll do it for you <3#i should be writing my thesis bc the first chapter is due this sunday but i feel so sick i can barely focus on anything#so i'm thinking about doing nothing today... maybe i'll watch a drama from my bed. haven't done that in a while#but starting tomorrow i need to write 😭 well at least i don't have to worry about going to work#yesterday i told the nurses that i feel like shit but i didn't want them to think i'm overreacting#but then i measured my temperature and it was 38.2° heh. i barely ever get fevers so that was unexpected#they told me to go home immediately but i had no one that could cover for me so i just continued working#and today i don't really feel any better#the only medicine i got is the ibuprofen so i guess i will have to go to a pharmacy. but i don't feel well enough to do it 😭#ughhh everything sucks 😭#k.txt
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I think the way the Lady and the Thin Man became a lot more enjoyable to me as a duo when I stopped believing Six to be the Lady needs to be studied in a lab
#carols.txt#the context is that i always disliked every lady pairing since when i was young#esp because everyone was trying to give her a husband when she frankly never needed one at all#and it seemed detrimental to her character ever to little media illiterate carols#but i've been in fandoms a long time so when ln 2 came out i kinda expected them to be and#i didnt like it but i guess it was... fine for the shits and giggles#then i started doing the digging in the games myself and I was like 《wait. WAIT》#listen i love when two characters are the sides of a coin. i love when theres complexity that could be explored#《what complexity》 the one i made up in my mind /j#i think that they are VERY interesting if you read them separately but reading them in context together is... ough. OUGHHHHHB#this is how they got the pass from me. like OK ................ ok old people i'll let you out of the asylum just this once#they're both vile in a way that is so different and tied into each other's narrative in a way that is so visceral#i need to actually write out why because you will be looking at my insane tags and not understanding I PROMISE YOU I HAVE MY REASONS#I PROMISE
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((You know how I've been writing that fanfic that chronicles Lucas' journey?
Yeah, one reason I've been so spotty on this blog is because I'm trying to set up a fair number of twists on that fic and I don't want to give anything away by accident.
In short - I fear I have worldbuilt a bit too close to the sun, help-))
#a step out of time (ooc)#((I didn't have this issue when I was writing Hilbert's fic - I could RP him and write the fic at once))#((although tbf the difference is that his was based on an actual run))#((THIS one is more based on my brand of Insane Lore))#((which only got MORE convoluted the more I develop Aevus' character/write the fic))#((like I legitimately want to surprise readers with some of these twists I got in mind))#((I feel like I shot myself in the foot in some respect))#((I don't even know where I'm going with this))#((but like???))#((I didn't think about this until people in the comments started crafting theories about where I'm gonna take this next))#((so like...I'll be here from time to time to answer asks and whatnot))#((but don't expect worldbuilding hcs anytime soon I guess))
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You know you have a problem when you start RELATING to the song Waving Through A Window
#lol just wrote the sentence 'everyone gets sick of him eventually' and started spiralling because it hit too close to home#because my friend didnt text me back and because a different friend who I was always with walked into my common room said hi and ignored me#and don't get me wrong she was talking about me behind my back so I am trying to distance myself but fuck it hurt#im so tired of everyone getting sick of me#but i know its my own fault so i guess I can't complain#my social anxiety is so severe at the moment that i can't really handle much social interaction anyway#and I can't stop crying because I'm so sick of feeling this way#and i have my writing workshop tomorrow and I'm really scared#and the one person I want to talk to didn't text me back so now I'm scared to ask her for help#because I'm also riddled with guilt every time I go to her for help and I'm convinced she views me as a burden#BUT I MEAN THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE I'LL JUST COOK MY BURGER AND CALL IT A DAY#pls ignore this#personal#rambles#ramblings
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fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨
#so i've found the perfect prompt list for an olli/allu fic advent calendar sorta thing#but i'm too intimidated by my own expectations and ridiculously high standards to even start writing any of them 😭#honestly these prompts are so insanely cute and fit olli/allu PERFECTLY#like. i'm actually having trouble deciding which ones to use because i want to write them all 🥺💞#but i'm so so scared that i'll just end up writing the same (boring) story over again for 24 times 😔#i wish i could just write without thinking and trying so hard to write a literary masterpiece#when i KNOW it's alright if it's just a silly little story about my blorbos#that's perfectly enough and i know this but my brain's just not having it 😩#also if i were to write 24 independent fics i'd have to keep them short and simple but. that's not how i do fics. unfortunately (for me)#to overcome this i guess one option would be to write just one longer piece with 24 chapters#and somehow try to include the prompt of the day in each chapter 🤔#but i don't want to make this even more complicated to myself lol especially because i'm planning to write AUs for a couple of the prompts#i REALLY want to do prompts (of any kind!!) but i'm just so scared of stressing myself out to another months-long writer's block 😭#fair enough the last time that happened (last winter/spring) i was in a shitty place mentally anyway#and so far i've been happy to be writing on random bursts of inspiration. that's how it's the easiest for me. the words just...flow out#i'm so insanely jealous of anyone who can just create stuff when given any prompt 😭#y'all are super humans to me how do you do it pls spill your secrets#and anyone tempted to comfort me by saying i shouldn't stress myself over this and that i don't have to write anything i don't wanna write:#i knoooooowwww and i appreactiate the sentiment but the thing is i actually DO want to write these prompts 😭#in theory at least. because they really are cute as fuck wth 🥺#the problem is that i can't /force/ myself to write something at the snap of my fingers without a clear idea besides the prompt#and also because i know it can take me days to finish even one story let alone 24 💀#so to even START on this project is a little intimidating 🫣#i just fear i won't have the patience :(#and when i realise i won't be able to finish the project i'll become frustrated with myself#if only i knew how to write shorter one-scenes in order to not tire myself out#but often i find those kind of fics somehow...unsatisfying :(#i'm just a sucker for crafting the context/background for stories. a little flesh around the bones if you will 🤧#okay that's all now i'm gonna go stare at a wall while doing nothing useful for the rest of the weekend byeeee#if you read this far i hope you're having a nice saturday
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running around in a circle tugging at my hair and holding back tears: too many things too many things too many things too many things too many thi
#if i could just. focus. for more than 30 seconds at a time#i write one sentence of a fic and then go and check my work emails#but while i'm there i'm like oh wonder if tumblr looks different on the remote desktop internet#it doesn't but i get distracted anyway until i realise and close it down#and then go back to my own desktop to look at tumblr#where i promptly get distracted for minimum ten minutes before i catch sight of the messages i haven't responded to yet#and i type a couple words out and then think oh shit i have messages on discord#so i go there#and get distracted by scrolling through not even new messages#maybe type a few words of a message before i mark it as unread because i'm like#oh i gotta finished writing the next chapter of my thing#and then i'm like hmmm but tempting commission work#and then i go actually i guess if i'm going to take a rbeak i'll do some drawing#so i grab my ipad which is still open on creepshow which i was watching last night#and so i start watching it but i can't focus because there's something else going on#and i realise i'm already watching the simpsons on my phone which explains why i have five different simpsons quotes on repeat in my head#and then i realise that there's a song playing on spotify on my laptop#and amidst those three noises i am also entertaining myself with in my head vocal stims and out loud vocal stims#and my anxiety is like hey... wanna worry about something#AND I JUST WANT TO FOCUS LIKE ONE THING AT A FUCKIN TIME ONE FUCKIN THING#finnie shouts into the void
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computer how do i stop feeling insecure on my writting so that can i write. computer please
#talking tag;#ok so. story time sure why not#today is my first day of uni and i had classes from 8.30 am to 11:45 which was. fine i was exhasuted but it was fine#and then i had to wait to meet some friends for lunch and i started writting and it just hit me that totp is actually over 50k words#and it's like brooooo i literally wrote a novel length fic (that's still not done btw! not close!) and for whattt who even has the time#to read something like that like why bother. it's not even (directly) about the main characters and i just#i'm afraid that i'm repeating myself i'm afraid that chracters are not being developed like i hoped they would i'm afraid that no one will#care and i'm also afraid that the people that do care won't like it#and then i met with my friends who study cinema and they bumped into people from their classes and i was just.#there listening to their conversations without interacting like what the FUCKKK am i doing here pretending that i fit in with the cool#cretive people and that my prose is any good at all#just. 50 thousand words of fanfiction and i'm worried that none of them are any good#but lately my motto is that i will figure it out so. i will figure it out#i did cry about it (lmao) which i'm counting as progress from the empty nothingness i felt around this time of year a year ago#but yeah man it sucks. totp is my baby but (just like kim lmao) my default is being hard on myself. i just can't not be#i think i'll write on my diary about this and then!!! we move on. oh well#i will finish totp that's a promise but yeah. today just hasn't been great i guess#and i have no one in my life to talk to about this so!!!!!! shouting into the void i guess
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writing patterns tag game
tagged by @veliseraptor which makes this a little funny for me bc it's like 'wow one of my favorite writers has influenced how i write. shocking!!' anyway this is also cheating a little bc I didn't want to just do all the one-shots from 'in the orchid hour'
Rules: List the first line of your last 10 posted fics and see if there’s a pattern.
Hua Cheng whines a little, already breathless. (Cinnamon and cloves)
“I’m going to say it,” Zizhen says abruptly. (a truth universal)
Her brother was easy to love and difficult to know. (non nobis nati)
The first thing Amelia learns after her life ends is that it is very clear when her husband is in the room and when it’s the angel wearing his body. (where you go (i will go))
The first time he meets Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Mu Qing barely makes it out alive. (til my feet are memory)
Wen Qing has never liked Lan Wangji. (sixteen stitches)
When he was a child, Xie Lian knew every gentle touch a mother or friend could offer. (for saints have hands)
All silk begins with death. (mori)
When he drives the dowel into his master’s heart, Lang Qianqiu does not remove Fangxin’s mask. (wolf trees)
He did not come back to her all at once. (this, this)
...yeah I basically tend to either start in the middle of Things Happening or with like...a central idea, I guess? I like to keep first lines relatively short and to the point and ideally have some irony in them + some establishment of The Sitch. I tend not to stew over first lines as much as I do last lines but that's partially because usually they've been percolating in the back of my mind for a few hours/days while the fic concept (and words) slowly coalesce so. ????
#being too lazy to tag rn sorry i am glaring murder at one of my clients thru. slack. and also gmail.#tag meme#anyway this is also true of my original fic#tcp starts off with declaring callebero's death; slack tide starts with veria waist-deep in water; peacekeepers starts with micah's nightma#*nightmares/haunting#hm i guess those are all the novel-length wips i have atm#i....also don't remember how viral starts but it's been so long since i really touched that OR ren/avery that i'll probably just scrap and#start fresh when i do turn back to them#i will say because i'm usually trying to write fic as fast as i can before the inspiration skitters off again#i VERY rarely edit/revise fic#the exceptions are like...mori/off hesperus/whipstitch/heart + bone (only bc of clem)#so usually the first line is really just the first line i wrote which is often just me trying to get the idea down for myself as fast as i#can in terms of like Concept and mood/scene/etc
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hardcore projecting my avoidancy onto dabi in this soulmate au thing i started in november
#u know i had to do it to em#🤝🏼🧍🏽♀️🌳#should i just say f it and share my fic headcanons on this account#this account isn't linked to my writing stuff so . is it REALLY a spoiler if no one knoes what the hell im talking abojt#just kidding i can't share them bc what if someone connects the dots and finds out i like emotional intimacy#help i am so dramatic i have a writing blog and 2 god damn ao3 accounts#the main one is where i comment/bookmark/give kudos from#and the other one is my writing one#i do all that despite knowing no one gives a fuck#we'll see how i feel by the time i have 20 fics up#currently at 4 but the wips. the wips are crawling out from under my bed and grabbkng me by the ankle#they demand my attwntion SORRY but mommy has executive dysfunction#i was supposed to have posted 4 or 5 things by now so that i'd have time for the halloween stuff that come up next in my series 🥴#then i was gonna wrap it up with updates on the one year of which is valentine's day and white day#the other halloween thing i started last halloween could work too but i probably won't get in the mood to write it in time lmao#soulmate au was supposed to drop in june RIP#i have most of it's notes finished it's the actual writing that's kicking my ass. it feels so disorganized which is throwing me off#anyways this post is about that au but im actually working on the hero reader one#which i keep overthinking#ik a reader can have an ability and still not be an oc but hmmmm i dunno#the quirk is generic but i think bc i have actual ocs with that ability it is throwing me off lmao#i considered changing it to a water quirk but i think it'll stay cuz i like it more for the theme#also it'd make 1 scene annoyingly difficult#i guess i could just make it a rainy day huh#oh well it is staying. now to finish the prologue that i'll probably never post. gotta write it so i have a good idea of their dynamic#and feel the emotional weight? idk writer words bro i am jus fuckign around on#we chilling 😎#and by we i mean me and my headache#which i just gave myself#noice 😎
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i need some motivation to do shit, so like... notes thingy i guess
100 notes - water consumption for the body. marching band season made me realize i dont drink enough fucking water out here. (alright, i guess i need water now... I WAS DRINKING TEA EARLIER. THATS CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT??)
200 notes - food consumption, i guess. i'll try to eat 3 full meals a day. enough to make my body full and stuff. (gods dammit. well, i already ate breakfast and lunch, and i have leftovers from lunch, so, i guess dinner's all set for me.)
300 notes - homework completion. i've been lacking in my homework game, and i definitely need to improve it this semester. (...i'll start my chem homework tomorrow since saturdays are my rest days, okay??? MOST OF MY WEEKEND HOMEWORK IS DONE BUT THANKS FOR CARING, CHAT)
400 notes - writing hobby. i need motivation to write lore for my dnd campaign (#runaway ruler dnd / #convict ruler dnd / #ruined ruler dnd universe if you want to follow along my shitposting for that) (i already started shitposting for runaway ruler again, so check it out. I WILL WRITE LORE FOR EACH ARC DONT WORRY IM JUST BARELY GETTING STARTED ON THE SECOND ARC SINCE ITS VERY LONG)
500 notes - animation gift. i'm making a little valentine's gift for my spouses, and it's gonna be 1:34 seconds long... I need motivation to actually animate lmao. (i'll do bits and pieces throughout the week. don't worry, i plan to figure this out [i haven't animated in months, and even then i barely scratched the animation surface])
1000 notes - script memorization. i uh... need to memorize my silly little script for a production coming up in a month. im performing in front of kids so like... the script's pretty short and easy. im the antagonist in my cast >:]. (sick, let's go. i love myself some memorization.)
2000 notes - chest binder shopping. i'll ask my parents if i can get a chest binder. ive been meaning to get one for myself for some time now. im getting desperate for one. (i suppose i'll ask today or tomorrow... or over the weekend- that's when most of the shopping happens, anyways.)
3000 notes - leaving the closet. i'll come out to the rest of my family that i'm trans, aromantic, all the nine yards about my lgbtq+ identities. i'll definitely have to schedule a good day to do that. (HELLO??? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?? OKAY FINE I'LL FIGURE OUT A DAY. I'LL COME BACK TO YOU WITH THAT-)
4000 notes - researching possible colleges across my state and outside my state. because i wanna get out of here.
5000 notes - order a suit. preferably black or purple. because i need more gender affirming clothes in the formal department.
EDIT: do however many notes you want. i know i said 10 notes per person earlier, but like... go wild i guess
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