#I guess I waste another 10 years of my life... oh well!

[redraven393]

watching The Wild Robot Let's gooo

sun is shining and girly is clearly a morning person-love the multilinggual introduction.

someone out there has just wasted what I assume must have been millions of dollars to get this state-of-the-art robot only for it to be stranded in the middle of NO WHERE.

she is every managers ideal sales person omg her Voice acting is soo good!

OPP Gilry NOO (hits by waves) GILRY CLIMB Like a Crab

OH MY GOD SHE CAN MAKE STIKERSS- and she give them to all them.

Rozzem is fukin overwhelmed. her city-girl vibe is not meshing well with the Wild life.

ohhh~ learning mode? guess we doing the talking animal things huh, but from what I see from the day and night cycle it at least took Rozzem 8 days to learn the Animal language.

ROZZEM HONEY NOOO- omg they are all assholes-Rozzem sounded so sad omg honey.

Zeus is being an asshole - the Raccoons are being Assholes!! >:(

OMG NATURE IS JUST BEING AN ASSHOLE TO HER T-T

all of this was just from the first 10 minutes of the movie holly shit.

----------------------

OMG WE KILLED A FAMILY T-T Rozzem is not catching a break

THE BABY!- GET THEM ROZZ-

A BABY!!!!- BABY - A BABBY

no wait Rozz honey you cant just left a new born baby what to heck.

that's what you get for ignoring a toddler Rozz, they break your shit.

I've seen this view a lot.

SHUT UP MOM THEIR ACTING IS ON POINT (also night shade salad?)

helo Pinktail- a mom friend Rozz need- OMG did someone die?- he lived YAY

The possum mom and her Kids are great

________________

Rozz a while ago: I need to go back I no longer have a task I CAN'T FUNCTION WITHOUT A TASK so I must left this newborn

PinkT a tired mom of 7: oh honey being a mom is a full-time task

Rozz immediately committed to be a mom: :D happy to serve my task

___________

Rozz Honey, please be gentle with the newborn. oh shit, it's the FOX, what do you want FINK-local Goose EXPERT?

Rozz please tell your manufacturer to add some self-preservation program in you the next time you see them FINK PLEASE AT LEAST HELP THE CHILD

oh yeah no one has named the newborn yet

"Kindness is not surviving skill" The audience would remember that and judge you when the time comes.

OMG Rozz you cant just admit to murder like that get a lawyer first at least

OMG BABY NOOO- oh yeah Rozz? and launching the Baby into the air like last time is???

NEW HOME Project Let's GOO- omg that is a big hole, man is gonna be a cause to a plot point later I can tell.

BABY FIRST WORDS- love that the baby is learning by mimicking Roz & Fink's banter

Roz no you need to encourage the Baby

Yes-yes name for the baby! BRIGHTBILL

home finish, Fink is living that sugar baby lifestyle

it's not copying its taking inspiration you beaver!

Storytime for the baby!

for a fox that was so ready to kill the kid you sure do worry about their innocence Fink

ahh motherhood~

YOU CANT RUN FROM FATHERHOOD FINK- This is to heal your inner childhood

---------------

TIME SKIPS!!!!

oh-oh no- OH NO BRIGHTBILL NOO why cant you inherit you Fox!dad personality instead T - T

THE ROBOT NOISES!!!

oh but Roz did teach him another language POG

glad you're still here with us Fink- and they're not WEIR they are Special.

aww they are so close to one another thoug- omg she is raising him to be a scientist

hi PinkTail and Kids- are they your new litter Pink?

SWIM TIME!- FINK is fukin savage to our boy

it's a swim alright....- aww Roz your mothering Program is on point now- Roz~ you need to let your teenage son do things on his own for once

hi mr. Beaver- huh i didn't expect to find more of them in this island

it may have because my teen years is not that long time ago but GOD do I feel the secondhand cringe

of course! even in the wild we will find Bullies- OMG BB NOO- GO TO HIM, MOM!

SHUT UP YOU PUSSIES FUCKING RAN AT THE FIRST SIGHT OF ROZ

BB call Roz MOM!!- SHUT UP BEFORE I FUKIN HUNT YOU DOWN FOR DUCK SEASON- Fink you are so the GOAT man- BB that is not how you talk to your PARENTS

omg Mr. Beaver hi??? why are you holding a knife??? Mr.Beaver???

off Roz honey we need to get you back in the factory buddy-

oh no the Back story reveal- ahh the Teen angst moments

EYYO BB THAT IS TO FAR !!

------

Oh we're back at the crash site? ANOTHER ARM?? there were Other Robots in that POD???

HOLLT SHIT

huh so they reall are just mass-produced- so where are they going to anyway???

Hey other Roz! or Rummige? Rumi is what I gonna call you

Roz honey you need a fukin break or else you might just have a meltdown

----------------------

Roz, a tired mom to a teen goose: I have a Kid

Rumi, just being resurrected a minute ago: Girly Excuse me Wtf??

Rumi, flabbergasted by Roz's problem-solving idea: Gurl we were not meant to be a MOM

Roz still a tired goose Mom: I KNOW BUT I MUST

---------------------

OKAY BUT LIKE- shout out to Rumi who didn't even care that she wouldn't survive long, she just saw this fellow robot like her struggling and giving up her own way to be back home and prioritize Roz

Fink is struggling without his bodyguard but is willing to climb a fuk ass mountain to check up on Roz is just AGGAHJYGUIS.

EYY you're in this thing too Fox.

Aww Rozz you're great hon, don't let some teenager make you down like that.

UGH her voice!!! she sounded so longing to be needed!-

"Maybe there is someone small there that needs my help" roughly translated to "maybe there is someone out there that WANTS me to HELP" - IMCRYING OMG

uh oh, winter is coming - Fink really saying that BB has no friends

BB you ungrateful lil shit- tell em Fink.

wait Rozzie Honey if you could have learned the proper way for Geese to fly now why didn't you do the same with the swimming part, Rozzie??

aww i forgot Roz lost a leg :(

OLD MAN MR. PEDDLER YOU ARE THE GOAT

He's UP! - He's down - oh no, yeah Rozz you need that self-preservation program installed soon you either learn em yourself or imma break 4th wall to install it.

THUNDERBOLT! And yeah i love how Rozz is having more friends in the Island

BB gonna be flying like a fukin Predator bird this winter, those fukin bullies won't know what hit em!

hello longneck sir, your group has been terrible to Rozz's son

"we Geese are a cranky lot" sir do you know that your whole species is a fukin menace???

why does he sound like a school principal telling the Protag's mom that she needs to make sure his grade is stable if she want her son to have a shot at the team

Roz honey why do you know the size of your son's heart?

YEAH GET HIS ASS PinkT!

The Forest guys are warming up to the Odds Fam Aww :3

and it's DONE the Boy can FLY! >:D

------------------------

opp it's time everyone- wdym thing between you two is still weird

oh god he's really going away now huh? well at least LongNeck is a good fellow

"this Flight is a gift from Roz to you-" "do you see any others that are as small as you?" - YES! give that kid a lesson in perspective!

noooo Rozzie you don't need to hesitate calling BB your son

------------------------

BB: will you be here when i get back? Roz: no me seeing there is still like 40 minutes left: uhhhh -------------------------- Say sorry you lil shit, or like thank you.-ah, and there he goes.

AUYSUGJAVXBXAVXAG FUCK T o T

THE LAST GOODBYE MY HEART FUHCHHKKK

welp, task over yeah Fink now you can go back to your unkind life where everything wants to kill you all the time.

help why do they sound like divorced parents already, the kid literally just left for college not a minute ago

JUST SAY YOU GUYS STILL WANT TO BE FRIENDS OMG

i mean she is clearly running on minimum energy with a deteriorating body because Nature is a bitch so uhhhh

FINK FUKIN COME BACK YOU COWARD

--------------------

oh shit there are actually humans defuq I forgot about them.

checking in with Goose Child they are landing in what seems to be a very futuristic corn farm.

OMG ANOTHER ROZ- OH SHIT ANOTHER ROZ

YES, Grandpa LongNeck you know what's up!- UFF and too think all this is caused by a herd of Geese jeez

THAT'S NOT A ROZZEM - WHY DO THEY HAVE A FUKIN WAR MACHINE IN A FARM!!- YEAH LET'S GO BB!-

wait no Grandpa LongNeck - NO

--------------------------

oh hey! Awww i knew you guys will stick together.- bad storm huh- Rescue MISSION

PINKTAIL!-Lmao Finks no- Thunderstrom!!- MR. PADDLER SIR! (he is still going at it wtf)

ROZ honey you're wasting to much energy love- the BEAR TOO???

ah, shit-this is too much chaos- "the jerk wants to speak" lmao.

YEAH SO DON'T BE A JERK ASSHOLES!

oh no Rozzie please stay safe

The bear's name is THORN

Rozzie you okay hun?- SHE LIVES!!- and to wait for baby- HE'S HERE!!

aw LongNeck- aw Rozzie- ROZZIE STAY AND TALK TO YOUR SON ISTG

uhhh-UHHHHHH- UH?????? - Vontra?- uh?- why she is so touchy???

uh OH , ROZZUM- ISN'T THIS A BIT MORE THEN NECESSARY??

THORN!- THE GANG'S ALL HERE

NATURE vs AI LET'S GOOO

TITLE DROP SHE DID THE TITLE DROP

FIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHTFIGHT

the acting school are doing wonders

NOO ROZZIE- VONTRA U BITCH

YES BB SHOW THEM WHY GEESE ARE FUKIN MENACES

also the forest fire...

give it up Vontra you could never defeat God's biggest mistakes

oh- oh kid- oh kiddo i am so sorry- oh honey

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH- fuck

oh?-oh! ROZZIE!

back to the Gang and the forest fire- hope we didn't left anyone behind-

oh MR. PADDLER SIR! we need your tree!

THUNDERBOLT

RIP i guess hope yu went to hell Vontra

Roz?-ROZ?- ROZZIE?!! WHAT'S WITH FLASH BACK ROZZIE??- ROZZUM WHY DID YOU THROW AWAY YOUR HEART?!- ROZ??!!

oh damn, that is a big Tsunami-

Rozzum?- aww you get a 10/10 finally Roz- oh -oh sheesh-

oh Rozzie- oh BB- Oh Fink- oh god YOU GUYS!

OMG THE ART

wtf Roz you can't make me sad like that.-

well, at least the gang is still as strong as ever- ROZ CAN HAVE WINGS???

nah you guys can't just let her be stuck as a farmer bot after ALL THAT!!

glad Fink and Mr. Peddler are friends now

i see what you did there Dreamwork- give us a "nice" ending but not the actually good one

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

Murder Sibling Tuu

🐱

So concept

Yuu is the eldest and comes from a HUGE family with lots of siblings that are part of criminal legacy. Literally all of them are some sort of mafia boss, assassin, drug lord, or bank robber except for Yuu.

This isn't because Yuu hates it, nope its just not their thing. Their little siblings always go to Yuu for ideas on their next murder/heist/ect and they always give the best advice ever despite not being a criminal.

When they get isekaied, they didn't know that their family also came with until its too late.

Let's say they're dating Floyd since that was the original context. Under cut cause length

It's Vargas camp and as things come to a close there's another attack, the masked person overpowers Vargas and locks onto a group.of Yuus friends, chasing the first Years, Riddle, Malleus, Jade and Floyd.

The others scatter, just to get stuck in (non lethal) traps to be picked off later. The killer is smart and though Malleus is powerful he is outwitted when he caught in magic resistant trap— this damn killer was PLANNING it.

Floyd and the group fight back. But they are all beat up pretty bad, thankfully, there is no stab marks as the psychopath seems to be dragging this out for their enjoyment.

As they kick Floyd onto the ground as they spill the first drop of blood of the night as the killer slashes them and leaves a "superficial", but concerning wound on Floyds abdomen.

Jade screams out at his brother in horror, show more emotion than he ever has in this damn life, despite where he's trapped, he risks blot and shoots out a simple spell at the killers head just for them to dodge.

"You want to see my face that badly?" The voice was filled with a sickeningly honeyed tone of amusement. "I guess that's fair since I intend to kill you... may as well let you see who killed you."

"You wont get away with this!" Sebek shrieks. The killer takes off the mask just to see... Yuu?

"Yuu? No...nonono not my shrimpy... why?! Why would you—"

"Wait wait wait. Did you say Yuu? How the fuck do you know that name?" The killer asks but something was off, this wasn't yuus voice.

Just then Yuu comes out and slide in front of Floyd protectively, ready to fight before freezing.

"TUU?!"

"Yuu?! Oh God, oh shit. Don't tell me these are your friends..."

"You stabbed my fucking boyfriend!"

"Fuck! Sorry I didn't know— oh geez...." Tuu facepalms. "Hold on, I actually have a few healing potions..."

"Um... can you explain???" Riddle wheeze.

"Everyone this one of my my Octuplets, Tuu."

"OCTUPLET??" Sebek shrieks.

"Yeah that's not even all my siblings either, don't ask I lost count"

"Damn I'm sorry about that everyone, I would have never attacked if I knew Yuu was here. But dammit, I had it all planned out and everything! I would kill off some of you and leave your bodies out so that others would warn of this place and bam! A buncha idiots would explore and I get to practice my assassinations and murder techniques! Can't believe I wasted all that time though now....".

"Wait, Yuu why aren't you surprised?" Ace gawks

"Oh big sibling Yuu over here is weird. Literally everyone in our family's a murderer EXCEPT yuu which is suprising since they always have the best ideas for maiming!" Tuu giggles

"Wait... if your here does that mean—" a new voice interrupts Yuu

"Sort of! I assume our entire family is out in this new world but we haven't all been able to find each other. Thankfully, me and Tuu happened to be summoned together!"

"Who the fuck is that?!" Jack barks

"That's Kyu." Kyu stands proudly in their formal attire that's decades old as they twirl a cigar.

"Why didn't you reach out to me? I know Tuu is to busy murdering things but I know for a fact you knew where I was. Im the oldest! You report to me!" yuu scolds

"You're older by 10 minutes." Tuu interrupts as they pour the potion on Floyd.

"Shut up!"

Kyu shrugs. "I'm building a criminal empire."

"What" Deuce blinks.

"I said im building a criminal empire. I was the leader of several mafias and other organized gangs back in my world and now its back to square one! I need my underlings I'm not just gonna light my own cigars now, cmon!"

"That sounds like Kyu alright..." Yuu sighs.

"Plus then I'll be able to magically enroll our whole family into NRC just with a little blackmail as we learn about this world!"

"Crowleys pathetic you don't need a criminal empire you just need 5 dollars" Epel sighs.

"Perhaps." Kyuu shrugs again and takes a puff. "But having an interdimensional drug empire once we find away home is an opportunity I must not let pass by. Speaking of which, give me your phone, Yuu."

Yuu hands over the phone to Kyu. "Now you should be able to contact us and I'll keep you updated once I find the whole family. Oh yeah, be sure to send pictures of all your friends to the group chat along with their full names so we know who not to kill, maim, target—"

"I get it." Yuu sighs before helping Floyd up. "I love you guys but damn!"

"You love th—" Ace covers Deuces mouth.

"Sorry Floydie!" Tuu chuckles cuteley. "I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us! Oh just forget about this encounter! I can't wait to meet you when Yuu brings you home for dinner!" Tuu waves

"Eat shit." Floyd huffs. "Awe you're adorable, just take good care of Yuu! If you break their heart ill slaughter you like the damn animal you are!~" tuu practially sings

"Yuu can do that on their own." "But they won't that's the issue"

Tuu sighs again. "Now im gonna have to release everyone from their traps now ueueueu... there were so many boys with such wearable skin! I already had the suit planned out for when I got them!" Tuu mopes.

"Right just tell our parents—" "bosses" "tell our bosses i love them and to please take it easy with all the murder please."

"No promises Yuuie!~ bye bye!~" Tuu cackles and they run off into the woods and Ryu dissapears

The rest of the night is Yuu profusely apologizing and having to skirt around questions for legal reasons

And also

"Why are all of you named Yuu or something similar"

"My bosses named the second oldest Tuu. Do you really think they're good with names?"

[maopll]

— rivals to lovers !

synopsis: sworn rivals in terms of academics. you two would never even share a glance at eachother. your animosity towards eachother was quite well known throughout the academiya. yet here comes this co-project that will be the cupid for you two.

⌗:, a/n: its a special fic for my irl bestie. it was a deal and I had to do this @isqaroth

⌗:, warning: big tits men scare me.

" considering how you are, I'd say this project suits you. nothing but a waste of time."

You gasped and snapped back at him, "oh? so who gave you this authority to belittle the hardwork of someone? hmph!" you glared at him fiercely and stomped away. Your shoes were clacking against the marble floor quite loudly showing your clear hatred towards him.

"alhaitham, must you truly pick on them today of all days?" kaveh tried to reason, "today is after all the day we present our projects to ensure our enrollment in the best departments."

"What I said was not wrong. How do they expect to get a good seat when they've clearly chosen the topic that others will choose?" stating this he walked away the other direction towards his classroom which he was assigned.

It was the time when the students would be called to their respective departments. Contrary to what Alhaitham had guessed, your project was one of the best among the students and found the best class in your own Darshan.

"so? Mister alhaitham?" you snickered in his direction, "Looks like your intuition missed the bullseye this time." Even he found it quite odd, his guess and intuitions are always spot on but with you they would always come out incorrect.

"It was merely a prediction. Shouldn't you be glad it was incorrect?" he looked at you straight in the eyes. Clear distate in his tongue since he had entered the same darshan as you. The Haravatat, which he tried to avoid at all cost. He took this sore truth with a pinch of salt.

Not a day went by when you two wouldn't bicker. "Stop trying to read books while I'm talking alhaitham," you shouted. Unbeknownst to you, he had his noise-cancelling headphones on. You were fuming, and he decided not to listen to you during the most crucial time?! you unwillingly came to him since you couldn't rely on others' notes, and there was only Alhaitham who you could rely on.

Each passing day, you felt the wrinkles starting to appear on your forehead faster and you sighed more often. Today you felt 10 years of your life got subtracted because you and THE alhaitham were grouped for a project.

"There's no way the professor would commit such a crime..." you spoke devastated. He could say the same but decided to maintain his composure and only heaved a sigh with arms crossed.

The way you two bonded over the days you spent for the project was needless to say quite interesting. The time, place, and situations varied the variable of you two bickering stayed constant. "Did you chart out all the requirements, procedure, and observation?" he asked but you only scratched your neck, "ahh..about that.." he faceplamed loudly.

You two eventually learned more about the other's likes and dislikes. The usual disagreements between you two soon died down. This is the junction when you two started observing one another even intricately.

'guess he's not half bad..'

'seems like they've grown tolerable and kind these past few days..."

While these thoughts seemed foreign to both of you, those little things would soon form a small fragment of a treasured memory.

"Here you go." You threw the drink towards alhaitham and drank yours. "I don't remember telling you the flavour I liked of this drink?" "I'd say it was quite clear to me."

His words rather than being sharp like daggers were now more soothing and soft to hear. Your behaviour became more amicable towards him. Cooking him food sometimes, buying him the books he would tell you in the midst of a conversation. He did the same. The food you liked, the stationeries you'd eye and what not.

With time, the feelings in you for him blossomed. This was when you'd observe his admirable face from afar and when he was not looking. He even caught you looking at him a few times. He couldn't deny the feeling how his heart would rapidly thump inside his chest and the way his cheeks would redden whenever your hands brushed against one another's.

"haah...." he sighed loudly. His face in his hands. He truly needs to gather his thoughts right now. This attraction he felt towards you were not only growing more day by day but also growing quite unbearable as he has to hide his lovesick face under that stoic facade of his. "There should be some solution to this situation right?".

"how am I supposed to tell them that I lo—"

"huh? ah Alhaitham! I've been searching for you everywhere. Were you saying something?"

His eyes widened. "oh I was just.." don't panic alhaitham be calm like how you've always been. think this through.

"Oh it's nothing that important...let's go have dinner shall we?"

Many weeks passed by and alhaitham finally decided to confront you about his feelings. It was just like out of a cliché love story but it doesn't matter to him. For every problem he only wants the answer affirmative.

A soft breeze, gentle glow of the moonlight and quite streets. There was tranquil and a hint of romance in this dreamy landscape. He has been thinking about this for a while but, he couldn't find his happiness without you. Although both of you started your journey with hatred, it soon turned out to be one of love and care.

After a short silence, you spoke "nice view isn't it? to think that we reached one year of doing this project together...been eventful hasn't it?" His mind was all over the place, his heart thumping rapidly, and his palms cold. He's never been this anxious in his life.

"[name] I've been meaning to tell you—" before he could complete his sentence, you wrapped your hands around his large ones. "knew they were cold" you chuckled, "can't keep the hands of yours cold now can I?". There was this gentle look in yours eyes as if they knew everything. The moonlight accentuated your features even more. You look beautiful. Oh, you look godly.

Maybe it was adrenaline? Maybe it was him being serenaded by your breathtaking beauty that he involuntarily spoke what his heart felt.

"I love you"

Your eyes widened. A huge red blush dusted your cheeks on hearing the words from the mouth of a person that you pined for. You wrapped your arms around his neck and planted a tender kiss on his lips. You reciprocated his feelings with the same honey like sweetness.

"I love you too, Alhaitham"

[2jam4u]

So good to see u back! How did you figure out what you wanted to do with your life? Whats the secret? :'0

The secret is I’ve lowkey known this whole time but I didn’t grow up in a household that encouraged you to pursue your passions so I didn’t even really classify it as that. But over the past 10 years every once in a while I’d say “oh in a perfect world I would have gone to school for psychology and been a therapist but oh well”. Then I befriended someone in a fandom who actually is a therapist and she’d tell me about her job and it really grounded that dream in reality yknow like not such a far fetched idea that someone like me could do it. Then I watched that show Couples Therapy while I was unemployed and all the sudden I realized I could be wasting time looking for another job in a field/career I’d already established but hated or I could “waste” time in school and maybe do what I love.

Then I gave myself short term goals. At the very least I wanted to complete a year of university successfully (accomplished with a 4.33 GPA 🤓), then I wanted to get my undergrad. Then if things are going well, my masters, then my PhD. This way I’m looking at things as tiered accomplishments rather than all or nothing and I gotta say, it helps. If I finish my undergrad and turns out I don’t wanna go further, I’m already in a better position to get higher paying jobs than I had before with only a high school diploma.

I dunno, I guess the secret is letting myself have both dreams and realistic goals and then doing what I can to happily and healthily accomplish those things. So far it’s working!

[littlemochix17]

Chapter 1

Wrods: 2.3K

In the middle of the night, a little 11-year-old girl was trying to unlock the door of her small room with a playing card sneaking into the living room carefully not to wake anyone she looked at the clock on the wall to see the time 11: 58 she is just on time she walked to the window with her little bag that has everything she needs for the night and gets out of it her small whiteboard with a board eraser and a black maker she then got 3 pebbles out of her bag and opened the living room window that was in the face of the window of the Dursleys and throw one pebble and waited a bit to see two familiar emerald eyes and a bright smile she didn't waste any more time and started writing on her whiteboard

(Y/n) : Hey (≧∇≦)/

Harry: Hey, why didn't you come visit today?

It was their way to talk to one another without getting caught by the others so every day at 12: 00 o'clock they talked with the two whiteboards (Y/n) brought for the two to talk at night when they couldn't talk to each other because of the Dursleys or (Y/n)'s grandma they are now talking every day at midnight for almost 4 years

The girl wrote a reply to him quickly

(Y/n) : Oh sorry, I couldn't come over my grandma won't let me out of the house today but here I am!

The boy smiled even more he really liked her she was his only friend the only one who helped him escape the harsh life he was living she was the only person he always looked forward to seeing whenever she made his life brighter with every little thing she do to him makes his heart melt of happiness knowing that he is not alone the last 4 years of them being friends was the best 4 years in his life

Harry: Yeah, but I missed you ಥ_ಥ

(Y/n) : I missed you too, how was your day without me (◍•ᴗ•◍)

Harry: Pretty much the same as always it was really boring (-_-)

The girl laughed at her friend's response but then remembered what she really wanted to do with him today so she erased her writing and replaced it with another one showing it to her friend

(Y/n) : Can you meet me in the backyard of my house now?

Harry: Okay but why and how do I even get there the house door is locked

(Y/n) : Get out of the window be quick I will meet you there bye

And with her writing that she got up from the floor and closed the window and got out quickly but carefully not to wake anyone

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦'𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Before I could write something back to her she closed her window and ran outside I followed her getting out of the window. good thing the window wasn't that high so I easily jumped out of it and followed her to the backyard I was surprised when I saw a white blanket laying on the ground with some Sandwiches, fruits and orange juice

but (Y/n) was nowhere to be seen until...

"Boo!" Someone screamed in my ear making me jump back then I heard laughing while I looked back I saw (Y/n) holding her stomach laughing at my reaction I smiled and chuckled a little and then brought her into a hug which she returned almost immediately I then break the hug and looked at her

"Why did you call me here this the first time you made me sneak out of the house you know," I said waiting for my answer she just smiled and took my hand leading me to the blanket she site us down and turned to me

"Well I know that the Dursleys don't allow you to do anything fun or anything you want so I made us this picnic and made sandwiches and some snacks to enjoy and here is one more thing" She stopped talking for a moment looking at me and smiled I smiled back then without breaking eye contact she pulled something from her back I looked at it it was a cake in the shape of a cupcake but 10 times bigger

"I know your birthday is in 6 weeks but I guess I saw that this was the best chance to surprise you," She said she took me by surprise that was the first time she had done something like that I mean yeah she would bring me gifts and we would sneak some sweets in my room and eat it together

"Happy early birthday Harry" She finished and put the cake aside giving me a small box and telling me to open it I opened it to see a framed picture of the both of us laughing together I looked up at her and hugged her tightly

"Thank (Y/n) that means a lot really," I said releasing her from my grip

"No it's ok I like seeing you happy," She said smiling at me

Petuina was banging on Harry's door to unlock

We then stayed for hours talking, eating and laughing with each other we really had fun but then we had to go back I goodbye to her and when I went back to my bedroom I put the picture (Y/n) gave me on my shelf and slept with a smile on my face

"Up. Get up. Now" Yelled Petuina

While Harry was getting up and putting his glasses on Dudley started jumping on the stairs making the room under it sake violently shouting at the boy

"Wake up cousin we are going to the zoo!" Said Dudley running downstairs and going to the dining room but not before pushing Harry back inside the room he was coming from and slamming the door with his foot making the door hit Harry's head Harry got up again and rubbed his head entering the kitchen seeing his aunt and her son rubbing their noses together but they stopped when Harry entered looking at him with disgust

"Why don't you just start cooking breakfast and try not to burn anything" She said to him while he made his way to the kitchen

"Yes Aunt Petunia" Was all that he said

"Mum, did you ask (Y/n) and Freya to come with us to the zoo?" Asked Dudley which got Harry's attention while he was cooking breakfast

"Of course honey they should be here in a minute" Said Petuina

"I want everything to be perfect for my Dudley's special day" Continued Petuina while covering her son's eyes and leading him to where his father was sitting

"Hurry up! bring my coffee boy" Said Vernon while glaring at the boy

"Yes Uncle Vernon," Said Harry politely

Petuina uncovered Dudley's eyes reviling his unsurprised face slowly turning to anger he then looked at his father

"How many are they!?" Asked Dudley

"36 counted them myself," Said Vernon proudly

"36 BUT LAST YEAR I GOT 37!" Shouted Dudley at his father

"Yeah, yeah well some of them are bigger than last year" Said Vernon nervously

"I DON'T CARE HOW BIG THEY ARE! " Shouted Dudley at him but Petuina put a hand on his shoulder

"No, no no this is what we were going to do he said when we go out we are going to buy you two more presents how is that pumpkin?" Said Petuina trying to calm down her son

Just then the doorbell rang Dudley ran to open the door reviling a familiar (H/c) girl holding two gifts in her hand and smiling brightly

"Happy birthday Dudley sorry Freya is sick she couldn't come over but I bought you your gifts" Said (Y/n)

After she said hi to all the Dursleys she walked outside to the car with Harry

"You look tired" Said Harry

"Well yeah I didn't get much sleep last night I was cleaning the house before my grandma came back" She said tiredly

She opened the door and got into the car waiting for the boy to come too but before he got there his uncle shut the door and pointed at him with his car keys

"I am warning you now boy any funny business at all and you won't have any meals for a week get in" He said glaring at him

Harry just got in the car as he was told (Y/n) was sitting between both of the boys she was talking with Dudley when Harry came in she looked at him and smiled sadly at him she heard what Vernon said to him and made a mental note to herself

'Make sure to bring Harry dinner every day for the next week'

"Hey are you alright" She asked

"Yeah I am fine don't worry about it" He smiled at her

They all arrived at the zoo (Y/n) was walking beside Harry before Dudley took her hand dragging her to the entrance even though Dudley was a mean, rude and spoiled boy he liked the company of the girl he and his family acted a little nicely to Harry when she is around trying to show how they are the perfect family of course.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 𝐻𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑦'𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

All of us were walking until Dudley stopped in front of a snake so we all stopped there with me standing between Dudley and (Y/n). Dudley was getting impatient he wanted the snake to move

"Make it move" Said Dudley to his father without looking at him so Uncle Vernon knocked on the glass that was separating us from the snake

"Move" ordered Uncle Vernon reserving nothing from the snake now Dudley was angry and started shouting at it while banging on the glass

"Move!" He shouted which was getting on my nerves so I yelled at him

"He's asleep!"

"Boring" Replied Dudley and he turned away with his parents

I looked to my left and saw (Y/n) smiling at me and I smiled back at her then she looked back at the snake and started talking to him

"Sorry about that," She said and I continued

"Yeah sorry about him he doesn't understand what it's like lying there day after day watching press their ugly faces in on you" Then the snake winked at us and I felt (Y/n)'s hand on my shoulder I looked at her she was surprised as I am so now I know that I am not going mental or something

"Can you hear us?" I asked the snake and he nodded

I then looked at (Y/n) and she looked at me we chuckled and looked back at the snake who was now bringing his head up to look at us

"It's just we have never talked to a snake before," I said then (Y/n) asked him

"Do you only-- do you talk to people often?" She asked him but he shook his head

I looked at her while she was talking to the snake I could still hear her talk but my main focus was on her and a smile made its way to my face unconditionally

"You are from Bruma, aren't you? Was it nice there? do you miss your family?" She said and then the snake pointed with his head to something so she moved her head to my direction and held eye contact for a second then she looked at a sign beside me I looked at it and it said "Bred in captivity" Then at the snake and said

"I see, that's us as well we never meet our parents"

Then Dudley came and pushed me to the ground

When Harry looked up to see (Y/n) by his side looking for injuries

"Are you ok, did you hurt yourself? do you have any injuries?" She asked in a worried tone

After nodding to her Harry could only look at Dudley angrily and then something unexpected happened while Dudley was putting both of his hands on the glass it disappeared and the boy fell in and the snake slowly got out the two friends gasped and looked at each other backing a little until the snake slid in front of Harry

"Thanksss~," Said the snake

Back at the Dresley's they all came in except for (Y/n) who had gone to her own home Petuina and Dudley got in then Vernon got in with Harry and grabbed his hair harshly

"Anytime" Replied Harry then the snake started sliding away scaring more people then Dudley tried to get out to where he was only to find that the glass was back he started to panic, screaming and banging on the glass from inside calling for his mother both of Harry and (Y/n) couldn't help but laugh at the scene in front of them I mean who could blame them Dudley sure deserves what happened to him but their laughs and chuckles stopped when Vernon glared at Harry

"What happened?!" Asked Vernon angrily at Harry

"I swear I don't know!" Replied the boy

"One minute the glass was there and then it was gone it was like magic!" He continued only for Vernon to growl at him more and lock him up in the stairs room

"There is no such thing as magic" And with that Vernon closed the small window at the door and walked away

[toongrrl-blog]

More Benvi Playlist

What are you doing just sitting there? Listen to some tunes at least ;)

"Let's Leave the Lights On Tonight" Johnny Rodriguez

We’ll let them old memories die

We’ll be just you and I

Somehow it all feels so right

2. "A Matter of Trust" Billy Joel

Let’s leave the lights on tonight

I'm sure you're aware, love

We've both had our share of

Believing too long

3. "Feels Like the First Time" Foreigner (also a Trenor song)

When the whole situation was wrong

And I know that it must be the woman in you

That brings out the man in me

I know I can't help myself

And it feels like the first time

You're all that my eyes can see

Like it never did before

Feels like the first time

Feels like the first time

Like we've opened up the door

Like it never will again

4. "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" Nina Simone or The Animals

Never again

Baby, do you understand me now

Sometimes I feel a little mad

Well, don't you know that no-one alive

Can always be an angel

5. "Torn Between Two Lovers" Mary MacGregor

When things go wrong I seem to be bad

Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool

Loving both of you is breaking all the rules

Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool

6. "Never Really Over" Katy Perry (suggested by @fishyyyyy99 )

Loving you both is breaking all the rules

Two years, and just like that, my head still takes me back

Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over

Oh, we were such a mess, but wasn't it the best?

7. "Hanging on the Telephone" Blondie

Thought it was done, but I guess it's never really over

It's good to hear your voice, you know it's been so long

If I don't get your calls, then everything goes wrong

8. "Listen to Her Heart" Tom Petty

I want to tell you something you've known all along

She's my girl

And you just can't creep up behind her

And you can't understand that she's my girl

It's gonna tell her what to do

Yeah, she's gonna listen to her heart

She might need a lot of loving

But she don't need you

9. "Fools Rush In" Ricky Nelson

Just open up your heart and let this fool rush in.

Well, open up your heart and let this fool rush in...

10. "It's Now or Never" Elvis Presley

I spent a lifetime

Waiting for the right time

Now that you're near

The time is here, at last

It's now or never

Come hold me tight

Kiss me my darling

Be mine tonight

Tomorrow will be too late

It's now or never

My love won't wait

11. "Act Naturally" Buck Owens or the Beatles or Buck Owens w/ Ringo Starr

Well, I hope you come to see me in the movie

Then I know that you will plainly see

The biggest fool that's ever hit the big time

And all I gotta do is act naturally

12. "Queen of Hearts" Juice Newton

Playing with the queen of hearts, and knowing it ain't really smart

The joker ain't the only fool who'll do anything for you

I'm laying out another lie, I'm thinking 'bout a life of crime

'Cause that's what I'll have to do to keep me away from you

13. "Send Me No Flowers" Doris Day

Call me up and say that you're on your way

Til you're back how lonely I'll be

Send me no flowers today

Instead of sending flowers come back to me

And love me just as I love you

14. "Time Won't Let Me" The Outsiders

Can't you see I've waited too long to love you

To hold you in my arms

Time won't let me

Time won't let me

Time won't let me aw

Oh

15. "Head Over Heels" Tears for Fears

I wanted to be with you alone

And talk about the weather

But traditions I can trace against the child in your face

Won't escape my attention

You keep your distance with a system of touch

And gentle persuasion

I'm lost in admiration, could I need you this much?

Oh, you're wasting my time

You're just, just, just wasting time

Something happens and I'm head over heels

I never find out till I'm head over heels

Something happens and I'm head over heels

Ah, don't take my heart, don't break my heart

Don't, don't, don't throw it away

16. "Just What I Needed" The Cars

I guess you're just what I needed

(Just what I needed)

I needed someone to feed

I guess you're just what I needed

(Just what I needed)

I needed someone to bleed

17. "What Is Life?" George Harrison

What is my life without your love?

Tell me who am I without you by my side

Oh, tell me what is my life without your love

Tell me who am I

18. "Hello It's Me" Todd Rundgren

Think of me

You know that I'd be with you if I could

I'll come around to see you once in a while

Or if I ever need a reason to smile

And spend the night if you think I should

19. "All This Time It Was You" Ginger Foutley

You were right there from the start

And what might be the strangest part

Is while I sure enjoyed the view

Of seeing everything brand new

It's still you

20. "Words" F.R. David

Words don't come easy to me

How can I find a way to make you see I love you

Words don't come easy

Words don't come easy to me

This is the only way for me to say I love you

Words don't come easy

21. "Sway" The Kooks

Still I need your sway, because you always pay for it

And I, and I need your soul

Because your always soulful

And I and I need your heart,

Because your always in the right places

22. "Stay Awhile" Dusty Springfield or She & Him

Oh, I hate to see you go

Tell you what I'll do

I'll be good to you

I'll make you glad that you are mine

So come on baby

23. "Hysteria" Def Leppard

I gotta know tonight

If you're alone tonight

Can't stop this feelin'

Can't stop this fire

24. "Slowly" Ann-Margret

Come on and kiss me again but this time slowly

Not so fast, make it last, you're talking too fast

Honey make it last, oh, not so fast, yeah

25. "I Beg Your Pardon, I Never Promised You A Rose Garden" Lynn Anderson

I beg your pardon

I never promised you a rose garden

Along with the sunshine

There's gotta be a little rain sometime

When you take you gotta give so live and let live or let go

26. "Baby I Need Your Loving" The Four Tops

Empty nights echo your name

Whoa, sometimes I wonder

Will I ever be the same?

27. "The More I See You" Chris Montez

The more I see you, the more I want you

Somehow this feeling just grows and grows

With every sigh, I become more mad about you

More lost without you and so it goes

28. "Expressway to Your Heart" Soul Survivors

I was wrong, baby, I took too long

I got caught in the rush hour

A fellow started to shower

You with love and affection

Come on, look in my direction

29. "Here It Comes Again" The Fortunes

Then there's nothing left for me to say

You no, you no, you no you broke my heart

Here it comes again, that feeling

Here it comes again

30. "Rhaspody in the Rain" Lou Christie

And in this car our love went much too far

It was exciting as thunder

Tonight I wonder where you are

The windshield wipers seemed to say

"Together - together - together - together"

And now they are saying

"Oh, ne... ver, ne... ver"

Ooh-wee, ooh-wee, baby

31. "I Saw the Light" Todd Rundgren

Though we had our fling (we had our fling)

I just never would suspect a thing (suspect a thing)

'Til that little bell began to ring (began to ring)

In my head, in my head

But I tried to run (I tried to run)

Though I knew it wouldn't help me none (not help me none)

'Cause I couldn't ever love no one

Or so I said

But my feelings for you

Were just something I never knew

'Til I saw the light

In your eyes (in your eyes)

32. "Party Lights" Claudine Clark

Too late and mama dear, oh tell me, do you hear?

We're partying tonight

I tell you, I can't sleep, because across the street

Oh-oh, oh-oh, I see the party lights

33. "She's Got the Devil in Her Heart" The Beatles (Susan J. Douglas thoughts on this song's meaning was "just how long were we going to behave ourselves, anyway, especially when behaving yourself as a girl meant not having any fun?")

I'll take my chances

For romance is

So important to me

She'll never hurt me

She won't desert me

She's an angel sent to me

She's got the devil in her heart

No, no, this I can't believe

She's gonna tear your heart apart

No, no, nay, will she deceive

34. "The Hard Way" Mary Chapin Carpenter

Show a little inspiration, show a little spark

And show that things that drew me to you and stole my heart

And tell me something I don't know instead of everything I do

And look at me as if I mean something to you

Our hearts are beating while we sleep, but while we're wide awake

You know the world won't stop, and actions speak louder

Listen to your heart, and what your heart might say

Everything we got, we got the hard way

35. "Big Shot" Billy Joel

Because you had to be a big shot, didn't you

You had to open up your mouth

You had to be a big shot, didn't you

All your friends were so knocked out

You had to have the last word, last night

You know what everything's about

You had to have a white hot spotlight

You had to be a big shot last night

[thenightlymirror]

I feel like the final straw of not being able to speak to anyone would be if I stopped being able to write here. It would be like forgetting how to talk to myself.

I feel it a bit now. I know a big part is that my boss followed me on here years ago, but I’m not sure if she reads any of this or not? Lol. I don’t think she does. I guess it wouldn’t matter.

The same thing happened about 10 years ago when the people I worked with at the grocery store found my blog. Haha. Oh no. That ended up being fine. You just find ways over time to explore how to express feelings you can’t say in different ways. Philosophy is vague posting, essentially. You just take it up a level of abstraction. I’ve always been good at that. I’m far worse at just saying what I mean.

Harper took the weekend off to see the eclipse back home, so, I had to work. If you told me that in 2017, I’d have leapt off a bridge with a concrete block tied around my ankle. I said, immediately, several times, Well I’m just calling off then. But, I have no money. Another coworker was taking his family down to Indianapolis, but he ditched me.

I broke into the cemetery at night to take some supplies and make some eclipse viewers. I got the text at 5:30am that I had been ditched. I asked my boss if I could just take a half day, and she said I HAD to come in, which of course the correct response would be to just say “Yeah, I’m sick. Good luck today!” But I juggled driving, getting stuck in traffic, my car breaking down, clouds, terrorist attacks, and just went to work.

Now, that said, it was a beautiful blue sky’d day. Hard to imagine it any clearer. I took lunch at 1:20 and spent the next hour driving around the cemetery observing the eclipse. Found some people sitting by the swan lakes and they let me borrow their eclipse glasses and I showed them my shoebox viewer. The changes in the sunlight on the cemetery were amazing. A wheezing twilight like the battery was going out on the sun. A few minutes after totality, the night birds started singing, just in time for the sun to start coming back, which caused a ruckus of confused birds in the marshy lagoons to start croaking up.

It was an experience, and I enjoyed it a lot. I’m trying to repress feeling like my entire life is a failure. It reminds me of missing Godspeed You Black Emperor on my 21st birthday, the day the Iraq war began. Negative punctuation marks on an empty life. A huge waste from start to finish.

But it would be a shame if I could no longer express myself anywhere. I don’t think matters of survival are necessarily narcissism. Why is it always so important to break me down?

[dearestones]

Hiya Devin :) for the recent ask game!

10 (short, huh?), 26, 27, 43, andddd for 50: Why writing? What inspires you/ got you into it in the first place? Thanks Devin :) Hope you're having a slay day! <3

Hey, Devin here!

10. How tall are you?

Did you know... shortness is only a matter of perspective? I'm 191 cm. Obviously. Like Floyd Leech. You should totally believe me.

150 cm

26. What are some seemingly childish things you like? 

Ohhhh, that's a very cool question! Ummm.... hmmm...

I really like cute notebooks, planners, scrapbooks, and calligraphy sets! I don't have a creative bone in my body when it comes to writing legibly, much less decorating planners or scrapbooking, but it seems like a good hobby!

Another a childish thing I like? I really like my happy stims! It's a sore point for me in real life, especially if other people are in the room when I stim, but I like flapping my arms or jumping up and down. The happy chemicals create more happy chemicals in an unstoppable feedback loop that has originated since childhood. :D

Ohhhh, puns! I like to grab seemingly random objects and making puns out of them!

I mean, with all of these questions... It seems like this is a quest ur on to know more details about me! ;)

Yes, I know it's bad shhhh...

27. What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

Oh gosh, please don't be mad at me, it's been years since I've read a book that wasn't a reference text or a manual. Can fanfictions count? From my most recent memory, even though it's been a while since I've last read it (but I have read it upwards to 10+ times over the years)... Snakeskins by Lsunnyc.

I know you like worldbuilding and lore, guess what that fanfic is composed of! (It's also one of my main inspirations to how I write nowadays. I really look up to that author and you should check them out and their ao3 if you're interested!). It's a Hetalia/Harry Potter crossover fanfic and it's... very long, but hey. It's really well written.

But an actual book? Gosh... No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai? That's one of the last few books I remember reading and that was definitely a trip. I related to the main character a bit too much and the subject matter, trajectory of the character... It really hits and there's a reason why the book has the reputation it has.

43. Do you have siblings? How many?

Yup! Two of them!

50. Wild Card. Any question, ask away.

Why writing? What inspires you/ got you into it in the first place?

(Answer under the cut because it got too long!)

Okies, so I know in the past I think I admitted to having started posting fic in 2012 and my first fandom was for Tokyo Mew Mew. However! My first ever fanfic was for Sharkboy and Lavagirl and it was written on yellow legal pad and will never see the light of day ahaha!

The reason I bring that up is because when I was younger and school would let out for the summer, our class would have this ritual of throwing away our tattered old notebooks that we weren't planning on using for the next school year into the recycled bins. However, before I left for home, I would take all of the notebooks that had been dropped into the recycle bins, take them home, rip out the old notes and doodles, and then keep them over the summer.

So that I can write in them.

I started in fifth grade when I realized that it would be a waste just to let those notebooks be recycled when there were some that had tons of clean pages??? In them??? That's why I saved those poor notebooks.

The thing was, I didn't realize that I had like half a dozen or so notebooks that had clean pages that I realized... I could do things with the notebooks. So, over the course of the summers from 5-7 grade, I would write short stories (seriously, short as in like one paragraph long onto a single page and call it a day). It wasn't until the summer of 7th grade that I realized... wait, why write stories only in the summer? Why not write during the whole year instead?

At that point, I amassed a lot of notebooks and scraps of papers filled with stories. Somewhere along the way, I shifted from purely original fiction to fanfiction because it was through my first official fandom (Tokyo Mew Mew) that I realized fanfiction was a thing.

I totally thought, upon reading my first fanfic in ye old ffnet, that it was actually canon material until I checked the comments and other stories. And thus, my eyes were opened.

So yeah, come eighth grade and beyond, I began writing more fanfics in my free time and eventually, in high school, I began bringing my fanfic notebook into class so that I could work on them during breaks.

I think what really inspires me to write would be because... there are entire swathes of the story, of the behind scenes, that we never get to see in canon. You can infer a lot from subtext or hints dropped from characters alluding to events, character perceptions, etc. but there's a difference from accepting the subtext or canon as it is and... Taking what you know and then adding depth to it and transforming it into something new.

I don't know... breathing life into characters who already has an established character is so exhilarating to me! There are people out there who roll their eyes at fanfic, but like??? Writing a character and making them stay in character while also transforming them in the process??? It's creation in one of its more pure forms while also paying homage to the original creator.

There's a quote somewhere... maybe on tumblr? and this person said that writing fanfic or any sort of transformative work is like playing with the sandbox that the original creator has left behind. That's what I'm doing, I'm playing in a sandbox.

And I'm having a lot of fun with it! :D

Anywhoozles, thank you so much for the questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day!

Feel free to ask more questions and I hope that you have a wonderful day! :D

[brokenmusicboxwolfe]

Quick vent. Cause I know people hate when I moan about my life, I’m putting it under the cut.

GAH! I had so much to do today and everything keeps going wrong. Like trying to fix something actually breaks three more kind of wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

And now I discover a couple of things I have to pay for suddenly. They aren’t even “big” bills to most people, but I am too broke for them. Anxiety attack time!

Next week is my birthday damn it! I knew I couldn’t afford to do much, but since there is no one to give me a card or wish me a happy birthday, I want to do something a little special.

I figured I could at least manage what I did last year: a movie and take out. It would be my first movie and my first take out in an entire year! All year I had been trying to keep aside a little, and failing miserably. (Thank you stupid inflation!**) But a cheapo midday movie and something small from that Chinese place, well anyone can afford THAT…

I guess I’m not anyone. I’ve been told as much before.

Trying to get something done that won’t make me miserable, I tried to send someone a text to thank them for a kindness. Turns out I can’t text them. So now I am eaten up with guilt for not seeming grateful enough.

I know things I should be doing. I also know I am getting increasingly miserable. So I decide that since the rain has stopped I’d go for a walk before dark. I got my camera and…

The memory card is almost full. I went to get the new one I am supposed to have and….I can’t find it. I tore the place apart looking, which I still need to clean up. I bit the bullet and accepted I would just have to order one.*** I literally winced as I spend ANOTHER $10 that I now can’t use next week.

Speaking of weeks, oh look, the memory card won’t we delivered until after my birthday. I won’t be able to take photos for an entire week! I can’t stand the thought! I carry my camera everywhere! Being able to take pics in the woods is one of the few things that can make me happy anymore.

Add that I am so behind in photographing sculpting already, so now I am going to have about twenty faces sitting on that stupid tray by the time I can take pics again. I HATE taking pic of my sculpting, so falling so far behind makes me nuts.

And no photo of the birthday cake I will bake for myself. I always take pics of my cake, and have since I got my first camera as a child. That’s going to feel disappointing.

The memory card is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. Compared with other “little things”**** like not being able to buy a full tank of gas or keep hot water or buying new ankle braces or a dozen other things, it’s nothing. The photos don’t matter. We are the only ones to ever see them, fellow Tumblr inmates. I don’t NEED photos.

So why does it make me want to cry?

And yes, I got so distracted on the memory card problem that I didn’t get the walk either…

sigh………..

** Ex. The price of dog food has gone up, but the size of those bags has also shrunk six pounds, so now I am going to have to pay a lot more a month on extra bags that already cost about $30 each, just so the dogs don’t run out of food between grocery trips! It adds up when before inflation I was already struggling to have anything left at the end of the month.

*** Yes, I could get one at Walmart, BUT it is 10 miles away. I would have to waste gas money and time, and besides, they charge more than the ones I get online. I don’t have any money to spare.

**** As opposed to the big “OMG, the house is falling!” stuff I deal with all the time. This looming, crushing stuff is another league of difficult.

[severingt]

Pauls Birthday Card 02/10/24

Hey, mate

First of all, Happy fucking Birthday. What a cunt it is being old, and I’m nearer the finishing line than you are.

So, what to talk about? Billy No Mates, you gotta hear their record, CACTI, it’s just right there. You can hear it on YouTube and then there’s Gina Birch, I play my bass loud, again on YouTube.

I hope you’re well? I know you were run off your feet last time we made contact.

I miss you.

So, John has 3 kids, and works on the railway. James has epilepsy so doesn’t officially work. He’s married with 2 kids. Dad’s still going but looking drawn [whatever that is]. Pete has turned into the architype grumpy/angry old man. He talks at me for an hour or so regularly.

Johns mum, Lesley, died last year. Alone in a flat in Gosport. Apparently fell out with the rest of the family over money after her mother died. I felt shock but not sorrow. John inherited a Mercedes and a Brabus Smart car, so a bit of money but nothing to compare to being abandoned for 28 years

I got out of the UK last September. I found it very difficult to acclimatise after 5 years in Malta. I stuck with it purely for financial [pension] reasons and of course covid. The language can be an issue sometimes but we have Google Translate.

So, I live in Thailand, Pattaya, now and I can live a good life as the cost of living [and drinking] is much less than UK. It can get a bit lonely but it was lonely in the UK:

Steve Ratsey: Salisbury

You: Midlands ish

Pete: Just doesn’t go out

Russ: Portsmouth but so fucking boring

David Ede: London but wants to be home at 9pm

Kevin: Malta and now with an old sort so doesn’t need friends

Andy: In Sweden and married

Paul Naish: died

I started playing guitar again, well, I’m enjoying it. I got a second-hand Takamine acoustic [way out of my price range new]. Lovely guitar. I contributed to the Play Music on the Porch day this year. I played Ohh La La [Ronnie Lane]. 8 takes to get a reasonable shot and even then, I made a mistake which I thought I’d get away with but started giggling

I was talking to a guy in a bar and his mate had just died and during the conversation [about dying abroad] he told a story of another friend that died in Africa and got flown back to UK. Everything went well and when the family saw the coffin, they wanted to see the body. So, they opened it up. That was the mistake as science then took over. Climate played a part in what ensued which was ok till the lid came off. The heat of Africa gave way to the cold of Britain which was being contained by the confines of the coffin. The lid came off, the body expanded and finally exploded. Actually exploded. Rotten meat flew all over the place, all over the staff and all over the relatives. Well, tragic huh? I just laughed, couldn’t help it

Where has all the time gone? I know I wasted so much time in factories 2 x 7 years. Whilst others were furthering their careers, I was getting covered in oil every day. It’s what you do if you have a family and mortgage. Then the prison service, 14 years; some of which were productive. I did get a Degree in the end and that focused me on what I wanted to do. But having Prison Officer on my CV didn’t help a change of career into education. It took me 4 years of applications and interviews before Hammersmith gave me a chance

But let’s not get depressed. Oh, too late

Weed is legal here. Theres a bar at the end of the road called Henry’s that sells it. I drink there. One evening, I was in there talking to Reggie the owner and he gave me 2 joints. So eventually I lit one up and took 3 puffs. My memory is very sporadic after that till about 3 am.

I pissed myself, shat myself, my girlfriend had to clean me up. I threw up my body weight. I couldn’t control my arms or legs. Ambulance called, into A&E and 7,000 baht, about £160, ambulance back home. 3hrs later up and out by coach to BKK airport for a trip to Chiang Rai. I don’t know how I did it.

So, that’s about it, I guess. Quite entertaining and I hope you smiled.

I hope you get out for a beer or get some in to celebrate [?] your birthday

Take care mate and I’m sure we will have a drink before we both leave

Glenn

[coreytravelogue]

Strait of Georgia, BC, Canada - November 11, 2023

Today I am off to Victoria one more time this year, I should already be there but a storm hit which kept me from going but so far so good.

This may very well be the last time I go to Victoria, probably not but I got to start being prepared for that likelihood if I am able to find a way to Newfoundland as doubtful as it is starting to seem for me unless I quit my job.

Today is my last day of being 38 years old. My goodness what a fucking fight I have had this year of my life. Fighting airlines, fighting COVID-19, fighting my employer, fighting depression, inflation, alcoholism, burn out and all sorts of shit fuckery.

My week off was to try and have a mental break from it all before I burned out and while it did help I still feel angry and tired about things.

Victoria is and remains a place where I can just escape even for a short while and feel at home. It is too bad I can’t bring it with me. I can only hope that I can find that in Newfoundland.

I guess this entry is more about reflecting on year 38. I feel like it was another wasted year but to be honest like last year I don’t know how I could have done more without going broke.

Newfoundland in December followed by Calgary in February and Toronto in April. Calgary wound up being more fun than I expected, I would definitely go back there again if I could. The beer was great, hospitality was great too. Wish I could have seen a Flames game but oh well.

Toronto had levels of stress but of the 3-4 times I have been to Toronto I think this last time was my favourite time. Got to Jayne hat a lot of statues, pretty sure there are even more I missed. Got to see my very first Leafs game and basketball game.

After that I guess is when it got boring. Flights have been just too fucking expensive, I was planning on traveling somewhere in out of Canada in October but with all the shit fuckery with Flair Air and every other air line this year I just settled with Edmonton only to try and clear out my credit with this Flair Air fuckers.

It was still great to see my friend and my cousin even if it was only for a day and evening.

I wanted to go to Victoria this birthday because for the longest time, I have only spent my birthday in Vancouver, prior to COVID and even when it was starting to calm I always planned on going somewhere but something always kept me being money usually. Victoria is the cheapest trip I could have and it is one I know I will enjoy.

I know I will be covering this stuff again a month from now when or if I go to Newfoundland. I am starting to have my doubts. I can’t help but think about next year especially as it will be the last year of my 30s. I will leave the reflection of the last of my 30s for another time and probably my more personal diary but I can’t help but feel I need to make it count the same way I did in 2014 when I went to Europe and started this blog to document it.

I can’t afford to quit my job and go on another 2.5 month trek like 10 years ago but I do want to go somewhere big and be there for a long time. I am hoping that I will be in Newfoundland before I do it so I can commit all of my stocked up leave time to go to Japan. If I am still in Vancouver I will have to split it all again.

I mean if I was fired then well fuck it I will just go to a Japan for 2.5 months or however long I want, move to Newfoundland and figure something out after.

There is a lot of uncertainty right now, I hate uncertainty but I think I am going to have to live with uncertainty with the rest of my life. It is just going to change.

Just pisses me off because I would like to start setting plans far in advance because that is the kind of person I am, while I can be and am to a degree impulsive I do also like to think ahead. Life think looking ahead but leaving room for implusion is as much of a balance as I can have with life.

I just got to try and push harder with going to Newfoundland than before but it is only getting harder. However that will be for another time, this weekend it is French Toast and eggs Benny at a John’s Place, beer and food at The Drake, fun with friends if they are around, turn 39 and just have my last mental break before I have the next couple of weeks of surviving work till or if I can go to a Newfoundland. Then 2024 begins and hope it is less of stupid fight as year 38 and 2023 was. One can only strive to make it so.

Shazbot nanu nanu

[theghostus]

40th day of 2023; how ironic.

"The feeling that I want to unalive myself today. Now, do I qualify for your time Mr/Miss/Mdm Psychiatrist?"

Do you feel unaliving myself? That's the first question they ask. I actually hesitated for a split second, and due to the need for self-preservation and habit, I lied. So you don't need help fuck off. Don't waste my time. You don't need me. You need a friend, so fuck off.

Yup, that's what my therapist or one-time only said.

So life taught me I don't need anyone else help. Just do it myself. However, not everything can be solved with a friend. They have their own demons to fight. Also, I don't want to give my 2 only friends a panic attack by proclaiming that out of the blue.

Truth is, I felt that ever since I came into this world. Ever since I waited long enough to start to walk, I had to work harder than a normal person. Because sometimes I don't feel I'm normal. I mean, what is normal to me, might not be normal to you. Some people say I'm too straightforward. Some might say I'm too blunt. Either way, I can't please anyone just know how to read the room. Fuck I've been reading the damn room for so long; it's just damn tiring. Although, at times, it's necessary. I get it. Yet, I get the feeling sometimes. It went away for almost over 10 years; however, ever since 2019, it has started to creep up again.

2022 had been a crazy year of trying to find myself, ending my losing the battle against reality. A total of 4 jobs, except for 1 job, lasted me only a week. So technically, it's 5 jobs. That sucks, by the way. I felt I was going crazy. The first one was crazy, like people can't just leave me alone. Here I'm trying to learn, and these fuckers won't leave me alone. Like none of them gives me any fucking respect. In the next one, everyone puts the boss on a pedestal. I mean, if you did something significant, he knowledges but god forbid if anyone pointed out his shit. Yes, I also did my fair share of stupidity over the 6 months. I must give them credit for covering my ass for that. The last straw was when I had to be the messenger of bad news. I was trying to understand how they count their shit, but the big boss decided to change the MF calculation 2 months b4 oath-taking. ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE? Then he told the snr mgr to tell us the NEW way and inform the candidates; one of them, I had painstakingly handheld to make sure she understood and to tell her the revised way of calculating. I was livid is an understatement. Nope. I'm not going to take that BS way of making your staff listen to you and your staff to get abused by the candidates. The big boss did not care for his staff's well-being. I can't understand why my snr mgr could withstand his abusive ways for over 10 years. For the 3rd one, I was alone in the 2nd mth of the job. It was painful. My accounts were so far behind when the accounts asked me for it I was confused as I wasn't taught that. TL was an amazing pinoy. couldn't ask for a better team leader; they don't deserve her. But I felt so alone, and the tasks were piling up, and I was trying so hard to catch up. There were so many acrobatic moves to understand. It wasn't bad environmentally, but I don't see myself forever there. My last job broke my record of 1 week can be summed up with 1 word. Bitch/s. I guess I don't have the stamina to stand for uncultured swine. Work, work, work.

Now we come to the latest episode, Will I unalive myself today? I went for a job preview yesterday at a parks board. Their office is smack in the middle of it. No kosher food within 20m of the building. there are only 2 timings of free buses. oh, and no air-con in the storage room where they kept the boxes and boxes of paper files. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Even a library full of old books has air-con. Fine. Today I went to another informal/chit-chat session with the snr officers transport office. I admit I like the sense of power having to issue summons. Exciting. However, I felt like I shot myself in the foot again, and the environment would be exactly like the hospital, but I hoped it would be something like the clinic.

Overall I may lose both of them. I don't mind losing the park one, but...I can't cope with the transport one. Hence the episode, will I unalive myself today?

All I want is to be happy.

[yun-ff14]

Quick hype over Live Letter LXVIII since I can't hold my pants anymore. Just can't wait for the graphic update! The samples looked so beautiful and made my soul literally cry of joy. ;A;

Even if the pictures weren't final and some things are likely about to change, just ahdjdskjsd. I have been buzzing around since I heard rumours about graphic updates long time ago - although that rumor was back then toned down.

Even if the update takes a long time - I just can't wait to see my charming catboy in new graphics. And all the zones updated, oh god! I just might as well make myself nostalgia cry and start New Game+ after that huge update. Hopefully I manage to get new gaming PC by then so I can play maxium or high graphics. ;A;

I have never thought any MMO would mean so much to me. Even after all up and down hills I have had with this game. And the way how socially distant potatoe I am. Now looking to age up another 10 years with this game is just something. 😂

[thebookreader12345]

Bullpen Chatter

Pairing: Hailey Upton x Kim Burgess x Best Friend! reader (plus Jay Halstead x reader)

Summary: Y/N and Jay have been seeing each other in secret for months, and after noticing Y/N's change in behavior, Hailey and Kim want to find out who the mystery guy is

Requested: Yes, by anonymous

Warnings: slight swearing

Word Count: 1,698 Words

"Hey. Where are you going?" Jay asked me sleepily as he noticed me getting ready.

"I've got to get home and shower and stuff," I reply and continue throwing my clothes on.

"I have a shower, and you have clothes here," Jay pointed out.

"I know, but my landlord is on my ass for never being there. Something about me wasting the space," I murmur.

"So then move in with me," Jay spoke. I froze in place for a few seconds, my mind running a mile a minute. I then turned around to face my boyfriend, who was still laying in bed.

"Really?" I question.

Jay nodded, a small smile lighting up his face. "I mean, if you want to. We've been dating for almost 8 months now, and I don't see my feelings for you changing any time soon."

I grinned widely and climbed back onto the bed so that I was laying on top of Jay, and leaned down to press a kiss to his lips. "I would love to move in with you. But you do know that because we're moving in together, we're gonna have to tell the unit that we're dating, right?"

"Give me a few days to prepare, and then we can tell them," Jay said.

"Okay. Now, I really do have to go if I'm going to make it to work on time. See you later," I tell him and peck his lips one last time before taking off. At my apartment, I took a quick shower and threw on some new clothes, barely making it out of the door in time to get to the district. After parking my car, I walked into the station and up the stairs, putting my hair into a ponytail as I did. When I got to the bullpen, I was surprised to see only Hailey and Kim sitting at their desks. "Morning, guys," I greet the two women. "Where are the guys?"

"I think I heard Adam say something about a donut run," Kim mentioned.

"Gotcha," I chirp and make my way over to my desk. Kim and Hailey both glanced at each other, confusion settling onto their faces. "What?"

"The past few months, you've been acting different. A good different, but different," Hailey noted.

"Yeah. You're always so cheerful in the mornings when the rest of us are miserable. So spill it. Who's the guy?" Kim quizzed.

I choked on the water I was drinking and coughed a few times to clear my throat, glancing up at my two co-workers. "What do you mean?"

"A girl only acts like you do when there's an amazing guy in her life," Kim answered. "So tell us who it is?"

"I never said...how'd you...shut up," I stammer, a slight blush rising to my cheeks.

"So there is a guy," Hailey stated. "When do we get to find out who it is?"

"Uh, give me a few days to get back to you on that," I confess and turn my attention back to the paperwork spread across my desk. At that moment, Adam, Jay, and Kevin walked up the stairs, their arms all filled with goodies and drinks.

"Hey guys. What's going on up here?" Kevin asked as he set down a box of donuts.

"We were just trying to get Y/N to tell us who see's seeing," Kim responded. My eyes darted to Jay, and I could tell that he was trying not to smile as he passed out coffees.

"Hold up," Adam interjected. "Y/N's got a boyfriend? Why am I just hearing about this now? Who is it?"

I groaned and set down my pen. "We're not talking about this right now. And I know you've all got paperwork to finish up, so you better get it done before Voight gets here in 10 minutes." The conversation stopped after that, but I knew the issue would eventually come back up, and at one point I'd have to talk about it. It just wouldn't be today

Time-skip Two Days

I was sitting in the interrogation room with files spread out all over the table, my hands occasionally moving the files around so that I could get a better view of certain ones. Lets just say that I was behind on paperwork, and I needed to get everything done before the end of shift. And being in here gave me more space than my desk did. I was just a little over a quarter of the way done when Kim and Hailey entered the room, taking up the two seats across from me.

"Uh, can I help you guys?" I question and sign another piece of paper, sticking it into a file to signify that it was completed.

"We'll be asking the questions here," Hailey cut in and folded her hands in front of her.

"Yeah. This is an official interrogation," Kim added.

I huffed. "Guys, if you couldn't tell, I've got a lot on my plate right now. And just because we're in the interrogation room does not make this an official interrogation. I could walk out of here right now if I wanted to."

"Who's the mystery man? Just tell us," Hailey pleaded.

"Hailey, Kim, I love you both. You're like sisters to me. But this," I exclaim and gesture to what was going on, "is insane."

"Y/N," Kim groaned and reached over to grab onto my arm. "Just tell us who the guy is! We want to know who's making you happy!"

I sighed and set down my pen. "So if I give you both some answers, you'll stop bugging me?"

"Yes," Hailey and Kim answered at the same time.

"Okay then. I won't tell you his name, but I will let you both ask some questions. But be aware that I'm only going to answer vaguely," I warn.

"Yes!" Kim cheered. "Okay. How long have the two of you been together?"

"8 months," I reply. "We're actually thinking about moving in together."

Hailey smiled. "That's amazing. Where does this mystery man work?"

"He's also a first responder," I respond.

"Wait a minute. Do we know him?" Kim quizzed.

"Maybe," I say and stand up, gathering my files as I did. "That's all for questions. Talk to you guys later!" And with that, I sped out of the interrogation room to get away from my two best friends. That night, back at Jay's apartment, the two of us were sitting in the living room eating pizza, a movie playing on the TV.

"Hey. You ever get that paperwork done today?" Jay asked and took a bite of pizza.

I shook my head. "Kim and Hailey wouldn't stop bugging me about the mystery man I was seeing."

Jay chuckled softly. "Well, I'm ready to tell everyone whenever you are."

"Right. Whenever I'm ready," I murmur.

Three Nights Later...

Our case was finally over, and all I wanted was a night off. So, everyone decided to go to Molly's to celebrate and let loose for a bit. Hailey, Kim, and I were sitting at the bar, drinks in front of all of us. I was sipping my beer lightly, waiting for Jay to arrive. I had told Kim and Hailey that my mystery man would be at Molly's tonight, so both of them were on the edge of their seats.

"Would you both settle down? He'll be here shortly," I tell him and take another sip of beer.

"We're just excited," Kim spoke. "You've been dating this guy for 8 months and haven't said a word, so he must be one hell of a guy."

"Oh, believe me, he is," I declare. Just then, the door to Molly's opened, and Jay stepped into the bar, immediately making eye contact with me.

"Jay! Over here!" Hailey called out and waved him over to the three of us. Jay made his way through the crowd to get to us, and as soon as he was close enough, I hopped off of my bar stool, grabbed him by the shirt, and brought his lips down to mine. I could feel Jay smile against my lips as he kissed back, his hands automatically gravitating to my waist. The kiss only lasted for a few seconds, but as soon as we pulled apart, I saw the shock etched onto my friends' faces. "Hold on a minute. My partner, the guy I've been working with for like 2 years now, is the mysterious man you've been dating for 8 months?"

"Surprise," I chirp and lean back against Jay's chest.

"I don't even know what to say," Kim confessed. "How did we not know the two of you were together?"

"We're just great at hiding it," Jay answered and gave my hand a small squeeze. "I'm gonna find the guys, okay? It's only fair that they know now too."

"Okay. We'll be over there in a few minutes," I say. Jay nodded and pecked my lips quickly before heading off to find Kevin and Adam amongst the crowd.

"So? What do you guys think?" I ask.

Hailey smiled. "You guys seem happy together, so I'm happy for you. Even if you did hide this from us for months.

"Yeah," Kim agreed. "We're just glad that you're happy."

"You guys are the best," I exclaim and finish the rest of my beer. "All right, next drinks are on me. It's the least I can do for making you two wait this long to find out who my boyfriend is. But, Hailey, I think the real question here is, 'What's going on between Kim and Adam?'"

Kim's face flushed a deep shade of red, and she gulped down the last of her beer. "Herrmann, we need some more drinks over here!"

"Oh, you're not getting away that easy. Y/N and I will hound you until you tell us everything," Hailey claimed. "But you're lucky that we just found out about Y/N and Jay, because right now, that's all I want to hear about. So Y/N, tell us everything."

I let out a mix between a sigh and a groan. "Okay. I guess we'll start out with our first kiss."

________________________

Tag List:

@prettypyschoinpink @securityfriendly-jay @scarletsoldierrr @lorenakaspersen @virtualreader @carnationworld @caitsymichelle13​ @dreamingmanip @campingmonkey @winterberryfox @nevertoofarfromivar @anotherfan07 @giagma @mrspeacem1nusone​ @i-like-sparkly-things​

[invisibleanonymousmonsters]

Absentee

Character: Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Summary: When Y/N fell in love with Jason Todd, she didn’t realize the normalcy she lost would become such a problem in their relationship. And she didn’t know how much pain it would cause to hide her boyfriend’s secrets. 

Word Count: 4,600 – One Shot

A/N: This is probably a really personal story. And you all might hate it or not relate to it. But oh well...

Y/N had her music playing in her headphones just quietly enough so she could hear them announce when her plane was boarding.

Between corporate holidays and what was left of her vacation days for the year, she was able to go home for a week and a half.

Only, she was hoping that this year she wouldn’t be going home alone.

But when Jason got sucked into a case two weeks before their flight back to her hometown, she knew there was no way he’d be accompanying her.  

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just–“ Jason had tried to tell her when she realized they weren’t going to be spending the holidays together.

“You don’t have to apologize. There are more important things right now than meeting my crazy family,” Y/N laughed lightly. “But they’ll be bummed.”

Jason still looked so down guiltily. He knew that Y/N had been downplaying how excited she was for her family to meet him.

Yeah, Y/N was upset, but her family was even more upset. Being in a different part of the country and them never putting in the effort to visit her, they had yet to meet Jason. Even when the two of them had been dating for 10 months.

Y/N had met all of Jason’s brothers, along with Bruce and Alfred. It had all been against his will, his family strategically running into them or invading his apartment when they knew Y/N would be there. Jason acted annoyed by it, but Y/N knew he was happy for her to meet them and without him having to act like he cared.

But Jason had only ever waved on FaceTime to her family or sometimes answered calls from them when Y/N left her phone next to him and went to another room.

It wasn’t like Y/N needed her family’s approval. She knew what she wanted and what was best for her. Their opinions didn’t hold as much weight with her as they thought.

But Y/N also had never introduced her family to a boyfriend before. Things either fizzled out before then or the relationship was so casual that the thought of even mentioning a boy-toy’s name in passing to her family made her want to jump out a window.

———

“So Jason couldn’t get out of work last minute?” Y/N’s older sister, Kate, asked as they drove to her house after picking her up from arrivals.

And so it began.

“No,” Y/N answered. “His boss is sort of an asshole. He’s a workaholic and can’t fathom why anyone else would ever be anything different.”

The truth was that Jason didn’t really have a job. When it came to income, Jason was resourceful. He was still a hitman for hire. But once the killing part of that job stopped – which was long before Y/N ever met him – it didn’t rake in as much money. Most of his money was either stolen from criminals or he would work odd jobs here and there.

However, the lie Jason and Y/N had agreed on was that he was a mechanic. And Jason did know absolutely everything there was to know about cars and motorcycles. He’d even promised Y/N that if she ever decided she wanted him to drop the vigilante life, he would do just that and start his own mechanic shop. But Y/N knew better than to ever ask that of him.

“Cars don’t stop breaking – even around the holidays,” Y/N joked darkly.

“Mhmm,” her sister answered.

Y/N already knew what her family thought of her boyfriend’s “job”: it wasn’t good enough for them.

The only reason they let it slide was because they knew Bruce Wayne was his adoptive father. Therefore they interpreted Jason’s ‘lack of ambition’ as his personal rebellion against his privilege and upbringing.

“Mom said he sent flowers and a bottle of wine to the house today and apologized for not being able to make it,” Kate added.

Y/N quickly looked at her in surprise.

“So I’m guessing from your reaction that it wasn’t your idea,” Kate teased.

“No,” Y/N shook her head. “He didn’t even tell me he did that.”

That was a Bruce Wayne move for sure. It didn’t matter that Jason had a rocky relationship with him, the Wayne charm and manners were deceivingly contagious.

————

Later that night, when everyone was in bed and Y/N decided to finally unpack. And she was surprised to find two of Jason’s t-shirts hidden in her bag. They were her favorites of his, always stealing them. Mostly she wore them to lounge around the apartment or to wear to bed. But her favoritism was in no way hidden.

Jason must’ve snuck them in her bag while she wasn’t looking.

Y/N smiled as she grabbed one of the shirts and raised it to her nose. It still smelled like him.

It was enough to make her feel guilty for not having called him yet. She’d texted him that she landed, but other than that, she’d been pretty silent.

She grabbed her cell and dialed.

“Hey, you.”

He always answered her calls as if they made his day, even if she’d called him multiple times that day already. His reaction to her calls never failed to make Y/N smile.

“I didn’t really expect you to pick up,” Y/N admitted.

“Always got time for you,” he answered lightly.

But then she heard background noise: wind blowing, distant sirens, people shouting at each other nearby.

Jason was on patrol. Or maybe he was doing some recon. 

But Y/N knew not to ask. 

“I see some of your clothes made the trip,” Y/N commented through a smile. Jason could hear the smile in her voice. “Those t-shirts have a mind of their own…”

“And my mom thought the flowers and card were sweet,” she added.

“I might not have met her yet, but I know that’s not gonna be enough to win her over,” Jason answered darkly.

Y/N didn’t say anything, because they both knew he was right.

“Flight was fine?” Jason asked, changing the subject.

“Mhmm.”

“I miss you.”

Y/N shook her head and laughed. “No, you don’t. I’ve been gone for like 12 hours.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

She rolled her eyes. “Always the romantic.”

More sirens could be heard. They sounded closer this time. “Are you being careful?” All playfulness had disappeared from her voice.

“Of course.”

Y/N sighed. “Jason, I’m serious. Please, be safe.”

“I know. I know. Don’t worry about me.”

“You know that’s not gonna happen, J.”

He ignored her comment. “I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

————————

To say Y/N’s time at home was rough…was an understatement.

If Y/N wasn’t being asked a million questions about Jason, she was being interrogated for why he wasn’t there. And if Jason wasn’t the subject of the conversation, people acted like she was single – some even talking about setting her up.

Y/N realized she preferred the former.

Every year, her family threw a giant party.

And for the past five years, Y/N had always been the only one that was single. All of her siblings, all of her cousins, all of their family friends, all of their neighbors…every single one of them had a significant other during those years. 

Everyone...except her. Now, this year, all of them had kids or were expecting.

It was exhausting. 

Sometimes Y/N felt like they were all robots programmed to do the exact same things at the exact same time –  no original thought to be had.

Y/N would be lying if she didn’t spend most of the party wishing Jason was at her side. He would make fun of awkward situations with her. And he would stick up for her when her family teased her a little too much.

The other thing Y/N wasn’t prepared for was unintentionally studying  her family’s boyfriends or husbands. She felt like she was watching everyone’s relationships through a different lens now that she herself had her own. And to put it as kindly as possible…she was not impressed.

Y/N noticed how none of the men offered to help in the kitchen, instead deciding to sit on the couch and watch football and scream at the television. Or how when her cousin handed her son to her husband, and he acted like he didn’t even know how to hold the one year old. And later, when his diaper needed to be changed, he handed him back to his wife as if he had no idea how to do it himself.

Yet her family was stuck on Jason not being able to visit or that he was a mechanic.

What did someone’s job matter if they treated her like she was their world and he the best thing to ever happen to her?

If Jason were here, he would be in the kitchen cooking. And if they had a kid, it would be a 50/50 job – not a burden only Y/N had to bare. He would try to get to know everyone because he would want to know the people who raised the woman he loved. He’d make sure to check in on Y/N every once in awhile, making sure she didn’t need anything. 

Thinking about it all made Y/N miss Jason even more.

Needing to get some air, she decided to go outside and let the winter chill refresh her. It had been getting too hot in the house.

Y/N pulled her phone out of her back pocket and tapped Jason’s name.

“Hey, you.”

“Hi,” she sighed.

Just hearing his voice made her feel a bit better and tension left her body.

“What’s wrong?” Jason quickly asked.

“Nothing. Just…wanted to check in.”

For a second, she was going to explain that she had the sudden realization that all the men connected to her family were trash. And witnessing it was making her miss him more. But she didn’t really want to waste her breath and she figured she’d just come off dramatic more than sincere.

“Are you at your apartment?” She asked quickly.

“Yeah, I’m gonna leave for patrol in a bit…”

Then Y/N’s mind suddenly thought, ‘Fuck it.’

“Jason?”

“Yeah, kid?”

“If you were here…” She began softly.

“Mhmm,” he encouraged.

“What would you be doing?”

Jason was a bit confused by the question for a second. But he slowly got what she was asking.

“Well,” he took in a shallow breath. “I would’ve stolen Alfred’s famous chocolate chip cookie recipe and whipped up those bad boys to bring over. And I’d pretend to care about football with your dad.”

That made Y/N laugh.

“I’d help your mom in the kitchen, even when she pretended not to want it.”

“Really laying it on thick, huh?”

But Y/N knew he was right. Jason was the cook between the two of them – and a good one, too. He also was a helper. He couldn’t sit back and watch someone do something while he did nothing. No matter how big or small.

“Shhh,” Jason reprimanded and then continued. “But most importantly, I’d try to get as many embarrassing stories about you as I possibly could.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re not here then,” she teased with a roll of her eyes.

Jason was quiet a second before he asked, “Wanna tell me what’s wrong now?”

“Nothing’s wrong. Just miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

“All my family’s boyfriends and husbands are losers. And I guess I’m just now realizing it.”

“Ahh,” Jason noted.

Now he really knew why she’d asked her question.

“It’s snowing here,” he told her as he looked out the window. “It’s almost making Gotham look pretty.”

“Are you going to the manor for Christmas?”

“Probably not,” Jason answered.

“Jason,” she grumbled. “What are you going to do instead? Sit in your apartment alone?”

“I’m gonna patrol. Crime doesn’t take holidays, Y/N.”

“Cheesy,” she pointed out. “Please be with your family, Jason. I don’t want you to be alone. OK?”

“I’ll think about it.”

Y/N knew that was as good as it was going to get.

Then she felt something on her cheek and she looked up. “Hey, it just started snowing here, too…” She told him with her head tilted back.

“I love you,” he sighed.

“I love you, too. Be careful tonight, Jason.”

Y/N gave herself a few more moments outside before returning to the party.

When she walked back inside, she immediately heard her name. But no one was calling to her. 

She was being talked about. 

She recognized her mom and sister’s voices, and then a couple of her aunts. They were talking around the corner, completely unaware that Y/N was in hearing distance.

So Y/N couldn’t help but linger.

“She says he works a lot. Every time I facetime her, he’s never there,” her sister Kate told the women. “I wouldn’t even really know what he looked like if it weren’t for her photos that she’s sent me. He doesn’t have any social media.”

“I just can’t believe he couldn’t get work off. Around the holidays?” Her mom added in utter disbelief. “Sounds like it won’t be surprising when she finds out he’s been unfaithful,” one her aunts commented.

The group hummed in agreement, but also disappointment. 

“He doesn’t even live in Metropolis. He lives in Gotham,” her mother supplied, only further backing the idea that Jason wasn’t committed. “God knows why. But I hate that Y/N is constantly going there. No good news comes from that city.”

Y/N clenched her teeth in anger.

If only they knew the truth about Jason. 

He was a hero and risked his life every night for an entire city – a city that had done nothing but hurt him. And he was 20 times the man than any of the men in their family.

She just wanted to scream at them for being so judgmental about a person they’d never even met.

But she couldn’t.

So Y/N stormed up to her childhood bedroom and decided she had enough of the party.

She shouldn’t have come home for the holidays. She would’ve rather waited for Jason to get back from his Red Hood work than listen to her family misjudge the first man she ever truly loved and wanted to share with them.

————————

Y/N was so tired when she got off the plane.

She felt like a zombie as she walked to baggage claim to grab her duffle.

What she wasn’t expecting was to find her boyfriend waiting for her in arrivals.

Y/N had told him she would just get a car.

But Jason seemed to have other ideas.

Y/N’s entire face brightened at the sight of him.

She practically ran to him and jumped into his arms.

Jason chuckled at her enthusiasm.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, her words muffled by his body.

“I thought I’d surprise you,” Jason said through a smile before he kissed her head.

Y/N didn’t respond, just held him tightly.

“Come on. Let’s get your bag and head home,” he finally told her.

—

“So, how was it?” Jason asked once they got into his car. Y/N shrugged, “It was fine.”

Her lack of details and curt response was enough warning for Jason to realize things were not totally fine between them.

He didn’t bother asking for more details during the car ride home. Instead, he answered all her questions about what he had been up to, how the case was going, if his family was alright.

Once they got back to Y/N’s apartment in Metropolis, the grace period seemed to be over.

Y/N had grown quiet as she moved around her apartment, unpacking and putting all her things away.

Jason walked into her bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed as she folded clean clothes. “This might be a shot in the dark. But I can’t help but feel that you’re not happy with me,” he finally pointed out.

She didn’t answer or look at him, just kept folding.

“Did something happen while you were at home?” Jason pushed.

She still didn’t answer. So Jason reached for her hands, holding them gently.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I just didn’t expect how hard it was going to be…” she finally whispered with a bowed head.

“What would be?”

“Just going home without you,” she explained.

“Did something happening?”

“I mean, kinda? Not really. They just…” she hesitated. Did she really want to confess all of this to him? She knew it would only hurt him. "They think you’re a bad boyfriend.”

Jason just nodded slowly.

He should’ve seen this coming. Of course her family didn’t think he was good enough. How could they think anything different?

“I’m just…fucking frustrated,” Y/n groaned. “I knew what I was getting into when you told me about your other life and who you really were. I was willing to keep your secret and protect it. I just never thought about how hard it would be keeping it from my family.”

She shook her head. “They think you’re not committed or something. And that…that you’re probably cheating on me.”

The idea of him ever doing that her made Jason sick to his stomach.

“I’m sorry,” Jason mumbled.

“What?” Y/N gasped. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”

“But I have,” he argued. “I put you in this position.”

“No, I did. I did when I fell in love with you,” she clarified.

“But I don’t want you lying to the people you love.”

“I’m not telling you this because I’m mad at you or blame you, Jason. I’m trying to tell you why I’m frustrated.”

She rubbed her face. “I just want them to know what an amazing person you are...and how brave and selfless. How you take care of me and love me and…and protect me.” Her eyes began to water. “They’re never gonna know the real you…even when they do meet you. And I fucking hate it.”

“So what if you told them?” Jason offered.

Her eyes widened at that. “Jason…”

“I’m serious. What if you told them?”

She thought about it. But she already knew the answer.

“It wouldn’t do any good. If I told them, then they’d be worried about me. Worried that your other life was putting me in danger. Worried that I would get pulled into it.”

Jason knew she was right.

Her family probably preferred an absentee boyfriend over a vigilante.

“But I see how the shitty men that have joined my family are. And you’re nothing like them. You’re so much better. And they’ll never even know.”

“Come here,” Jason muttered before he pulled her to him.

He let her body sink into his as he held her.

“I’ll do anything you want,” he whispered as he rubbed her back. “I just want you to be happy.”

“I always wondered what it would be like to finally been in a relationship – to just have someone on my team no matter what. I went to all those family gatherings thinking I’d never have it. And once I did, once I found you…” Her thoughts died out. “I just never expected it to be this way.”

“Do you regret it?” Jason asked as he pulled away to look in her eyes.

Her brow furrowed. “Regret what?”

“Being with me. Falling in love with me.”

Her heart broke at the question. “Oh, Jason. Of course not. Never.”

“What if I stopped?” He asked.

“No. I would never ask that of you,” she quickly shot down.

“I’d do it for you,” he tried to argue.

“I know you would. But I’m not asking. Because I know what it would do to you. Every time you’d see something in the news, you’d hate yourself. Because you would convince yourself that you could’ve stopped it. And maybe you would be right.” She took in a deep breath. “Red Hood isn’t just something you do. He’s a part of you. And even though I worry about you constantly, I’m never gonna tell you to stop.”

Jason took his time in reading her face.

“OK?” She pushed.

He nodded.

Then he embraced her once again.

“I’m sorry you have to keep my secrets,” he breathed into her hair.

————————————

Y/N walked into Jason’s apartment.

It was a Friday night and they agreed to have her come to his place this weekend.

Jason was always weary of her coming to Gotham, preferring her to stay in the safety of Metropolis.

He knew they couldn’t do the distance forever, and eventually they’d move into together. But he wasn’t ready to leave Gotham yet. And he didn’t want Y/N to lowering herself to such a city.

“J!” Y/N called when she walked in.

He had given her keys to his apartment quite early in their relationship, and told her she was welcome at his place any time. However, he wasn’t a fan of her getting there after dark. Gotham was Gotham, and he didn’t like her wandering around the city by herself just in order to give him a surprise visit.

An envelope on Jason’s kitchen counter caught her attention.

She nosily looked at it and saw that they were plane tickets to her hometown with both of their names on each of them.  

She heard Jason walk up behind her. “What’s this?”

“A surprise,” he shrugged.

“What do you mean?” She laughed.

“We’re gonna visit your family,” he explained casually. “I called your mom and sister to find a weekend that worked.”

Y/N was shocked to silence.

“I know I fucked up when I couldn’t go with you during the holidays. I know this isn’t gonna solve everything. But I figured…it’s start.” Before he could say more, Y/N threw her arms around him.

————

Jason Todd knew how to throw on the charm. And no matter how thick he laid it on, it always felt sincere.

Y/N smiled as she watched her boyfriend interacting with her family.

He knew so much about each of them already, that he knew exactly what to talk about with every one of them.

For their long-weekend visit, they had decided to stay with her sister.

Jason knew she would be the hardest to win over and was the most protective over Y/N. He made it his personal mission to befriend her and show her how much he loved her little sister.

Y/N never said so, but Jason knew how important it was to her that Kate approved of him.

However, Jason hadn’t been able to have a conversation alone with her all weekend.

Until their last morning there.

Y/N was still sleeping when Jason had made his way to the kitchen.

He figured he could make Kate and her husband breakfast after housing them for a long weekend. And he made sure to start a pot of coffee while he was at it.

Halfway through making his specialty waffles, Kate walked into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, hi,” she greeted, clearly surprised to find Jason cooking in her kitchen.

“Morning,” Jason greeted.

“This is a surprise,” she said as she looked around the kitchen.

“There’s coffee if you want some.”

“T-Thanks…” she managed to mutter. “Do you need some help?”

“Nope. I got it. You just relax.”

Kate seemed to be unsure of how to behave when she was alone with her little sister’s boyfriend, and eventually sat on the kitchen stool with her coffee.

“Do you cook a lot?” She finally broke the silence with her question.

“I enjoy it,” he answered with a shrug. “I figured it’s the least I can do for you guys putting us up.”

“That’s very sweet of you, Jason.”

He continued cooking.

Kate figured this was her opportunity to get to know Jason – and not just through Y/N’s eyes. So, she started asking him question after question, and he seemed happy to answer them. Kate was surprised to find out about Jason’s traumatic childhood, making him realize that Y/N must’ve only shared his relation to Bruce Wayne and nothing more about his life before becoming an adopted Wayne.

Jason wasn’t surprised Y/N kept that part of his life to herself. She was protective of him that way. She always felt like his past was his story to tell, not hers.

“I know missing the holidays didn’t leave the best impression,” Jason told her after they’d been talking for awhile.

“You really mean a lot to Y/N. And your opinion matters more to her than you might think,” he added as he crossed his arms.

Kate seemed a little taken aback by how unafraid he was of confrontation.

He seemed more mature for his age – maybe for hers, even.

“I know I’m not going to win any of you over from just a single trip,” Jason continued. “But I’m going to work my ass off to make sure I get there.”

Kate smiled at that.

“I love her,” he told her quietly, but with determination. “She’s…Well, she’s the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Then he smirked. “And I’m not dumb enough to do anything to fuck things up with her.”

He took in a shallow breath. “I just…I just needed you to know that.”

Kate’s heart swelled from hearing her little sister’s boyfriend confessing his love for Y/N.

“Thank you for telling me that,” she whispered, trying to stop herself from crying. “I worry about her. And I hate that she’s so far away sometimes. I miss her.”

“She misses you, too,” Jason assured her.

“Thank you for taking care of her. I’m suddenly realizing you’re the only reason she’s eating anything that’s not out of a takeout container.”

Jason laughed. “I plead the fifth.”

Before any more could be said, Y/N walked into the kitchen as if she was sleep walking.

“Well, look who it is…” Jason teased.

Y/N walked to him silently, clearly wanting cuddles.

Jason chuckled at her, but gave her what she wanted. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He had kept the PDA at an absolute minimum while he had been around Y/N’s family. But he couldn’t help it when Y/N was her sleepy and adorable self.

“You sleep OK?” He tried to whisper to her.

But Kate still heard it and pretended to look down at her phone.

Y/N nodded into his neck, making him chuckle at her more.

This was new for Kate, seeing her sister being loved and loving someone. Her instinct was to say it made her uncomfortable. But it was just something she wasn’t used to.

Soon Kate’s husband woke up and they all ate breakfast together.

And a few hours later, Y/N and Jason were packed and their was a Lyft was waiting outside to take them to the airport.

Jason hugged Kate and her husband and thanked them for hosting them. Then he grabbed Y/N’s bags and gave her a moment alone with her sister as he took their stuff to the car.

“I think I owe the two of you an apology…” Kate told her little sister.

“You do?”

“I think I judged him a bit too much before really giving him a chance.”

Y/N winced, but nodded. “Yeah, you did, actually.”

“He really loves you.”

Y/N smiled. “He does.”

“I just want you to be happy, you know that right?”

“I know. But sometimes you think that what makes you happy is what would make me happy. Our lives are different. And we want different things. Just because my relationship looks different than yours doesn’t mean it’s worse in some way.”

Kate nodded sadly, knowing her sister was right. “I get that now.”

-----------

A/N: I was inspired to write this when I thought about how my own family would react to me having a boyfriend like Jason Todd: a man who was secretly a vigilante and had a past too hard for anyone to ever imagine. Hopefully, other people can relate to this and it wasn’t too personal. 😬

Let me know what you thought!!!

[korasonata]

So, I know it’s not model stream day but I had a bunch of leftover quotes that I cut from the original Joe and Cleo model stream posts due to length. Was originally planning to compile them all together and make a larger master post when they finished the castle, but the list was getting a bit long so decided to do it in parts instead 😅 So here we have all of the other moments I greatly enjoyed that got cut from the first few posts.

—

STREAM 1

—

Cleo: See I can cut straight! But if anyone asks you from the police, I can’t. You didn’t see anything.

—

Cleo: I’m feeling very put out by my chat at this point, because it’s just sort of like “are you sure you didn’t screw up?” No I’m sure I didn’t screw up, leave me alone! Oh…..

SILENCE…

Cleo: …I might have screw-…

SILENCE

—

Cleo: I love it when Joe goes silent, cause you know he’s having a meltdown. And that’s quite funny.

—

Cleo (in response to Joe explaining the use of “Moshi Moshi”): It’s Joe. I don’t know if Joe lies or tells the truth on any given day. But I’m assuming this is correct.

Joe: People are saying “but what if Joe’s a fox?” Well that’s why I said Moshi Moshi! See? And I didn’t go away.

Cleo: I- I’m a fox…I can’t say it….It’s fine…

Joe: Yeah, that’s ok.

—

STREAM 2

—

Cleo: is that Cleo’s hands? No. They’re an imaginary persons hands.

Joe: it depends if you’re watching my stream or Cleo’s.

Cleo: I mean that helps.

Joe: if you’re watching my stream, it’s my hands.

Cleo: if you’re watching Joes stream it’s probably Joes hands. If you’re watching my stream, it’s probably an alien entity.

—

Joe: we actually got a super posh nail salon near me now, and so I was kind of thinking like “oh I should- I should go there and get the green- the chroma green nails before I do this.”

Cleo: oh god Joe.

—

Cleo: This here is a map of what the things should be. What the heck is part 10? I’ve got to find par-

SILENCE

Cleo: ok well I found where part 10 is.

—

Joe: Cleo’s going to have plenty of time to catch up, don’t worry.

Cleo: Catch up from the leading position that I already had.

Joe: Yeah. Well, but to make up for any lost time that you’re currently antago- or not antagonizing. Agonizing over. I’ll know when your antagonizing.

Cleo: Oh yea-you will know when I’m antagonizing.

—

Joe (reading chat) : “How do you determine the limits of Cleo’s patience?” Uh, “are they redefined every time you test them?” Ummm…

Cleo: *laughing* interesting question Joe. I’d like to hear your answer to this.

—

Cleo (about Joes model): it’s very small. We’re not comparing size though.

—

Cleo (reading chat): both Bdubs and Joe have small castles *laughing* We’re not gonna talk about Bdubs’ small castle.

—

Joe: My beard keeps brushing the ringlight which the camera is attached to, so I’m worried it’s vibrating the camera when my beard hits it. And it’s tickling my chin. Which is very very strange.

Cleo: *snort laughing*

Joe: *laughing* Cause normally no one tickles my chin during a stream.

Cleo: *still laughing* It’s not a common thing.

Joe: No, we don’t have like a reward tear for that with channel redemption.

—

Joe (talking about cutting his beard): maybe I should just go trim this one part so I’m not bumping the camera.

Cleo: I- I… I mean, if you wanted to do that on stream I would not- (trails off)

Joe: Oh, you- oh! I guess I can get a mirror out, hold on. I’ve got a mirror, so let me see.

—

Cleo: you know what Joe? I don’t know.

Joe: That’s ok Cleo. I don’t know either. That’s what makes us a good team. Mutual ignorance!

Cleo: CLUELESS!! CLUELESSNESS!!

—

Cleo (about Xisuma and Pearl): We don’t bully each other. Cause I’m always right. That’s how it works.

Joe: Mhm.

Cleo: …the way you said “mhm” Joe made it sound like you don’t think I’m always right.

—

Cleo: To be fair, I do quite like the model making.

Joe: Yeah, other than the fact that it’s like really stressful, it’s really relaxing!

—

Joe (doing a face camera expansion): “EXPAND JOE!” Do do do do!

Cleo (singing the Adams Family): Do do do do!

Both (in harmony): Do do do do!

Cleo: Do do do do! Do do do do!

Joe: *click click*

—

Joe (explaining about his Gomez Adams suit): I went to a tailor in another city.

Cleo: And you just went “Give me the suit that Gomez Adams wears!”

Joe: No! I looked at all the suits and then selected the one that Gomez Adams wears!

—

Cleo: Ghostbusters! *laughing* Don’t bust the ghosts, they’re just trying to make a living guys. Do you know how hard ectoplasm is to get?

—

Joe: Well, but like, for example, if you think about how much CO2 we waste on air conditioning every year, and the fact that people feel a chill when they like, walk through a ghost. You could just have like a- a big ghost that like walks around with you inside of it. As like an air conditioning suit.

Cleo: I don’t- I don’t want any ghost inside of me? Just…saying?

Joe: I mean I guess technically you’d be inside of it, but like…

Cleo: I’m not sure if that makes it worse or better.

—

Cleo (reading chat): “Is the crying to make the paper more supple?” No. The crying is to make us more willing to accept our life choices. That have lead us here.

—

Cleo (in distress): NO! Why would you do that?! WHY?! Why?! Why? Why. Why?!!!

Joe: What happened? Your cat do something?

Cleo: No no no. This is the roof. The roof has decided to not. And now I am deciding to not with the roof!

—

Cleo: Sorry, I’m just trying to keep things together.

Joe: Keep it together, Cleo! Keep it together!

Cleo: I mean, some one of us- one of us has got to.

Joe (desperate): One of us has got to keep it together Cleo, and it’s you! There’s no way the one keeping it together is me!

Cleo: *uncontrollable laughing*

Joe: Sobbing intensifies!

Cleo: Everything hurts and nothing is ok!

Joe (deeply distressed): It’s fine!

—

Joe: At my previous jobs, I would tell them that I don’t want this job. I don’t want this career. I’m good at this technical stuff that you need, and can do it at a price that you can afford. But my priority is being able to drop off my kid at daycare and pick her up at daycare. Everyday. I- My- my then wife will never be available to take care of that child because she’s a PHD student. If the kid is sick, I am taking the day off to take care of her. If you don’t like it? You can find somebody else.