2jam4u

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Dilara findikoglu autumn/winter 2024

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Brandi Quinones for Lolita Lempicka Fall, 1994

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random question so only answer if you feel like it, but what does it look like to be autistic and have a child? I have wanted to be a mother for a long time and I found out I'm autistic (and have ADHD) this year and I hear so many neurodivergent mothers talk about how they wouldn't have a child if they were diagnosed before becoming parents and it makes me question whether I'm underestimating what it's actually like. But also I have worked with children for +10 years and I still want kids, even when I get overstimulated, etc. Sorry for rambling

Ah man, listen, this is a hard one to speak on. Because while I am one of those people, it’s not really about the child specifically (like when I talk about this it’s not regretting G or wishing her away)

I can only speak to what it’s like for me, but there’s a lot of things that go with parenting that sometimes feel incompatible with the specific way that I am autistic. For one, I find it really difficult to recover from burnout, overstimulation, meltdowns, just general autistic difficulty or whatever with a child in the mix.Just logistically there’s not enough hours in a day to parent the way I want to parent and still take care of myself. There’s also the consideration that if you biologically have a child, big chance that your kid will be autistic too, and while that makes you uniquely qualified to understand your kid, it also adds difficulties.

That being said, shits different for every autistic person. Something that would be level 10 difficulty for me, might be a 2 for you and vice versa. So I really can’t say if you’re underestimating things, especially if you regularly work with kids. But I think a helpful thought experiment might be to look at what you need once you leave work, how much time, silence, recovery or whatever you need to be ok for the next day.

I dunno I dunno it’s a hard thing to speak on because it really is such a personal choice that has to be based on your unique circumstances. I don’t want to undersell it, but I also don’t want to discourage you if it’s something you want to do. Autistic people can and do make amazing parents, but we experience challenges that allistics, or just able bodied people in general, never will.

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Do you panic about university in your 30’s? do you feel overwhelmed by the commitment?

Honestly no, not in terms of the time commitment anyway. I’m actually excited to be in school for the next billion years if I succeed in getting my doctorate, turns out I actually love academia and I’d be sad if I only had a year left (if I just got my undergrad and got out).

However, the prospect of being student poor during the next 5 or so years… terrifying. I miss having a salary and good benefits and spending money. That part sometimes makes me panic, but things have worked out so far, hopefully they continue to.

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show’s your currently watching?

Gilmore girls and bir gece masali

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♡ SIMONE ASHLEY via instagram

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Josephine Baker, Gardner, 1938 

Josephine Baker tending her garden at the Chateau des Milandes, her home from 1937 to 1969

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UN Special Rapporteur Francesca Albanese joined human rights organizations earlier this month to release a report that urged the Canadian government to suspend and investigate any charities found to be “aiding and abetting” Israeli war crimes in occupied Palestine.

Speakers at the November 8 press conference in Toronto explained that the report, which was jointly released by Just Peace Advocates (JPA) and Independent Jewish Voices Canada (IJV), highlights how charitable donations have been directed toward activities that the report argues are grounds for “immediate suspension and investigation.”

Registered charities in Canada can issue official donation receipts that qualify for charitable tax credits.

“Canada is violating its international obligations,” said Albanese at the press conference. “This is not about ethical principles, not about rhetoric. This is about binding obligations.”

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Tagging: @newsfromstolenland

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Ngl you have some of the most beautiful eyes I’ve ever seen

Not to yuck your yum but have you seen brown eyes before????

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I’ve had this curly sew in for 6 weeks which is wild because that’s the longest I’ve ever gone with my natural hair out. And the best part is, I actually love it?? Really fell in love with my curl pattern and I’ve really enjoyed learning to take care of curly hair for pretty much the first time ever.

That being said I did straighten my hair this week because I have an exam and I didn’t realize how annoying it is to like ??? maintain curls every week? (Granted that’s mostly just me because I have damaged ends and a sew in to blend with). And I am putting braids in for exam period this weekend but! I feel like I’ve done really well and I’m surprised at how much I like seeing my face with my own curls around it. Yay for me.

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Rocococeane photographed by Hélène Tchen Cardenas

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Hardest thing about being a muvva?

(This is a hard question???)

Probably trying to balance still being a person while simultaneously being a safe place for the kid to learn. Like George learning what kinds of remarks are kind or unkind while being a person who likes to verbally tussle anytime someone even so much as looks at me sideways lol.

Also being a disabled person who has specific needs that clash with kids just being kids, like noise or touch or socializing. That kinda stuff.

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DO NOT PROJECT YOUR LACK ON ME NIGGA IM ABUNDANT