#I guess I could have grouped them all into a single square but where’s the fun in that

[avirxy]

Don’t follow your friends that are keeping secrets into the woods kids.

[scary-grace]

☕️ feanorians 👀 i know you have thoughts...

I do indeed have thoughts about the Feanorians, and I will admit that some of my gripes with the Feanorians are gripes with their fans. But when I’ve read the Silmarillion, it seemed that a strong-ish argument could be made that the Feanorians are the villains of the story, not the tragic heroes. Sure, the initial sin is committed by Morgoth in murdering Finwe and stealing the Silmarils, both of which are inexcusable, but from that point on, the terrible things being done in the narrative are largely being done by the Feanorians to everybody else. And no one — absolutely no one — is compelling them to do it.

I like a good tragedy as much as the next person. To me, one of the key features of a tragedy is its inexorability— the smallest details and circumstances, all piling up on one another to force an outcome no one wanted, with no one able to stop it until it’s too late. The Feanorians as a group (and their plotlines) are missing that inexorability to me. Finwe’s ghost doesn’t appear to Feanor Hamlet’s-dad style to order him to seek vengeance. Feanor does it on his own, which means that destruction of his own family and the thousands of people who die over the course of the War for the Jewels (and subsequently the War of Wrath) are his responsibility. Nobody pushed him into it. He was warned against it by just about everyone. And yet, off he goes.

I referenced Hamlet in the above paragraph, but when I’m thinking of tragedy, I kind of revert back to the Ancient Greek tragedies — Oedipus Rex and the Oresteia. Oedipus does everything a hero is supposed to do, but events set in motion by a single decision that wasn’t even his to make create a catastrophe that he’s powerless to avert. Orestes, meanwhile, knows damn well why he shouldn’t kill his own mother. He knows what will happen to him if he does. But he’s compelled to anyway, by culture and by honor and by grief.

The cultural factor doesn’t exist for the Feanorians. There’s no precedent in Noldorin culture for what to do if your father is murdered, and there’s no commandment to drag your entire family down with you in a quest for revenge that’s doomed to fail. And the ignorance factor doesn’t exist, either. Every decision is squarely in Feanor’s (and later, his sons’) hands, and they have all the information they need to make choices that won’t result in three Kinslayings, five disastrous battles, one child-kidnapping, and an attempt at forcing marriage in a culture where consent is the entire ballgame. The Feanorians act with malice. They disregard their own people and their own allies. Morgoth doesn’t make them commit the massacre at Sirion (you know, the one that even the Feanorian fans can’t defend); that’s one hundred percent pure Feanorian initiative. That’s not the behavior of tragic heroes. Those are the actions of villains.

So my thoughts on the Feanorians are that if the Silmarillion is a tragedy, they’re the villains, not the heroes. If the Silmarillion is a fable, they’re the bad example. (Tolkien reinforces this in The Hobbit — I don’t think it’s an accident that Thorin goes berserk and tries to kill one of his closest allies over a big shiny rock.) If the Silmarillion is a history, their response to Morgoth is the architecture on which thousands of years of tragedy are built. However they got to where they are at the moment of Finwe’s death (the Valar yoinking them all from Middle-earth was a bad move), at the end of the day, they’re still the ones holding the sword.*

*(Part of my insistence on the Feanorians being the bad guys is a response to some corners of the fandom trying to exonerate them for absolutely everything by blaming their victims. I’ve seen people say the first Kinslaying was Olwe’s fault for not giving up the ships, that the second Kinslaying was Dior’s fault for not giving up the Silmaril his parents retrieved, that the third Kinslaying was Elwing’s fault for — existing, I guess. And that it was just so mean of Thingol not to immediately submit to the people who murdered his brother. Anything to get Maedhros and company off the hook.)

Thank you for the ask! Sorry if I rambled a bit — once I got into trying to actually articulate my problems, it got a little complicated.

[thenationaltreasuregazette]

Why so Many F*cking Lemons??

National Treasure is the kind of film that presents many mysteries and asks its viewers the hard questions. Questions like:

What if there was a treasure map on the back of the Declaration of Independence?

What if American history was a cool connected puzzle?

What there was a big ol' treasure?

But most importantly it asks us to consider:

4. Why does Patrick Gates have a whole fridge full of lemons???

Now the most obvious answer here is because the plot demands it. Ben and co need to cover the whole back of the Declaration in lemon juice, (although do they?) so they have to have enough lemons on hand.

The second most obvious reason is because the cinematography demands it. I mean this shot looks a lot better than, like, a single lemon. (Probably the same reason for Dakota Johnson's bowl of limes. It looks better.)

But neither of those answers are very fun, so let's dig deeper.

What is the plausible, in-story reason why Patrick Gates has a bowl of lemons?

Theory 1: Patrick Gates is a connoisseur of homemade lemonade

According to this hypothesis, Patrick loves homemade lemonade so much that he makes it for himself on the semi-regular. Yes, it's like October, but why should that stop him.

Does this check out?

When we meet him, Patrick is hanging out alone in his bathrobe late on a Friday night, having had pizza for dinner and something from a soda fountain to drink. That doesn't strike me as a foodie who wouldn't just buy lemonade if he wanted some.

Theory 2: Lemon Fish

In this version, Patrick is about to grill some fish. There's a way to do it (which is really tasty, and doesn't require a grill pan or rack) where you place bunch of slices of lemon directly on the grill grates and grill the fish on top of them. The fish doesn't stick and it imparts a delicious citrus flavor.

But again, we run into the same plausibility issues:

it's autumn

the Patrick Gates we meet here doesn't seem dedicated enough to the food he eats to do through the somewhat tedious process of grilling fish, especially not in not-summer

Theory 3: Cards with the Boys

What if Patrick is part of a weekly rotating card game? It's maybe a few masons he knows from his treasure hunting days and some of the guys from the insurance company (I don't know what I think that Patrick sells insurance, but I guess that's the most 'square' job I could come up with).

They rotate houses every week or month, and it's soon to be Patrick's turn to host. The drink of choice amongst the group is whisky sours, tom collins's or another straightforward drink that requires lemon juice.

This at least I think is more plausible with what we see of Patrick's lifestyle than an explanation with a more foodie-type bent. With Ben and his ex-wife both out of his life, Patrick must be a pretty lonely guy. I like the idea of him having a circle of friends.

Theory 4: Health Benefits

And here I think we have the most plausible answer: that Patrick might be interested in the health benefits associated with lemons and drinking lemon water.

Different compounds in lemons can have benefits regarding

lowering cholesterol

managing blood sugar

kidney health

and more, but those are the ones I suspect Patrick might be interested in. He's of a certain age, lives alone, and (unless we caught him on an off night) might not take the best care of himself as far as his diet. Perhaps he's been found to have high cholesterol, is pre-diabetic or has other blood sugar concerns, or has the decreased kidney function that can be associated with aging.

Perhaps he's had kidney stones or another health issue or scare in recent years and is attempting to take better care of himself.

Maybe that soda fountain cup is full of lemon water.

Conclusion

While all of these are plausible to various degrees, I find myself more interested in the last two. Patrick as an aging man without any family (or at least not any family who still speaks to him), living alone and becoming concerned with his health is heartbreaking, but I think adds a certain softness to the character, and extra layer to him and to his reconciliation with Ben.

And in any case, I also like the idea that he hasn't been completely alone since his falling out with Ben. While Patrick does behave in a way that suggests a fairly traditional 'breadwinner,' family man masculinity, we at the National Treasure Gazette will always stan platonic relationships and social supports. I'd like to believe that Patrick has his own squad of friends he can rely on.

I don't think I've ever thought about Patrick Gates this much, but now that I have, I find myself kind of wanting to give him a hug? He may not be the easiest character to love, but he has his own struggles.

What about you?

What are your theories regarding the lemon bowl?

I'd love to hear in a reblog, reply, tag, etc!

[lonelyfanboy48]

Steven Universe Of The Creek Chapters 30-32

Chapter 30 Uncynical Erstwhile Bud

After Steven and his group left the university, they went to Pasta La Vista where Bernard’s friends are also heading to. They’ve been wondering, after learning that Steven is still around to where he was after watching the movie that he’d picked out. Not to mention that Steven’s more in a good mood after spending time with his best friend, Kenneth. After Steven parked his car, he and his friends walked inside the restaurant with Gibson, Cariss and Amina took notice.

“Bernard.” Gibson said. “You’re feeling better?”

“Just enough to come here.” Bernard answered. “Did you order anything?”

“We didn’t.” Cariss replied. “We agreed to wait to have lunch with all of you.”

“I thought you already did when I texted you three before we left the university.”

“Was it because of me?” Steven guessed as Bernard’s friends laughed.

“I think it is.”

“So much for an ordinary goodbye, am I right?” Kenneth smiled.

“When we heard you were sticking around, we agreed to come here while we waited.” Amina commented “It’s great it didn’t take you too long.”

“I was making a friend.” Steven walked up to Bernard’s friends. “Would you take the time with someone you’re growing a liking to?”

“He’s not lying.” Kenneth agreed. “If you saw what we did at the university, we had a blast after going to the animation class.”

“But I’m still not old enough to attend.”

Bernard’s friends didn’t only keep their eyes on Steven, their eyes were also on Kenneth the moment he appeared inside the restaurant. Kenneth walked next to Steven while lifting his hand up. “I’m Kenneth by the way.”

“Nice to meet you.” Gibson shaked his hand.

“I like your hairstyle.” Cariss added, also shaking his hand.

“Did Steven enjoy the animation class?” Amina wondered.

“He did. He liked one of my animations through the pages I showed him.” Kenneth said.

“His amateur days have passed him by.” Steven smiled.

“Great to know.” Amina replied. “So what are you gonna have here?”

Steven and the group looked at the myriad of options they could have for lunch. Steven remembered he had bread sticks and a salad when Bernard showed him his and Alexis’s job as employees. Despite the incident Craig and his friends caused, he still enjoyed the food regardless.

“You’re gonna eat something else?” Kenneth wondered.

“I don’t know, are you in a pizza mood?” Steven asked.

“From other pizza places, yes but I didn’t know Pasta La Vista had pizzas.”

“Seems you didn’t check everywhere in Herkleton.” Alexis giggled.

“Not everyone needs to be everywhere to enjoy the town.”

“I do go to places in Beach City, but not every single building, including the neighborhood houses.” Steven replied.

“Did Beach City have a Pizza place?” Amina asked.

“Yes, it’s called Fish Stew Pizza. Let’s just say I had nonstop dreams saving an employee's nightmare of never saying no to her sister.”

“Must have been an overdose of pepperoni induced nightmares.” Cariss commented.

Steven awkwardly grins from Cariss’s complement. “It only got me sick from Pizza for a while…while I couldn’t stay awake.”

Bernard and Alexis catched on that's probably his experiences with his powers while still keeping his life private. “If that was your childhood, we always have weird times, especially dreams.” Bernard smiled.

“Yeah, weird but still part of childhood.”

“Pizza is all part of childhood, who doesn’t like Pizza?” Kenneth replied. “Pizza haters?”

Everyone laughed from Kenneth’s sense of humor as they all took a seat by the table. They agreed to have pizza as a group as Bernard used his gift cards he earned from working to buy squared pizzas. After waiting for their pizzas to come out, they began eating them. Steven took a bite of his pizza and enjoyed it. Kenneth who sat next to him took his bite and found Pasta La Vista pizza’s a good alternative.

“This is really good pizza.” Kenneth taking another bite.

“We don’t make the food as employees, but we do have pro chefs in the back.” Bernard pointed at the back.

“Are you two working on being chefs?”

“A little bit.” Alexis answered. “We mostly do dinners.”

“Then you might as well work at a fancy restaurant if you do dinners.”

“They would need to be more professional to make dinners.” Steven replied. “Besides, I’ve seen their job here days ago, they’re doing alright.”

“Would you do any better?”

“No, not really.” Steven wished he could find a way to impress Kenneth, but on the other hand, he can’t lie about having a job since he doesn’t have one. For every time he took a bite of his pizza, he wanted to find another thing to talk to Kenneth about even with Bernard’s friends but with him closer to the creek, he wondered if he was familiar with the location like Craig is. “Have you ever been to the creek?”

“Used to.” Kenneth responded. “I was the first ever king of the other side.”

Steven catched on that Xavier was the former king but he’s close to connecting the dots. “You were the first?”

“It was for fun until I got older. I passed my title to my sister.”

“Bet your sister had the time of her life until she also got older.”

Kenneth thought otherwise, but still respected Steven’s choice of words. “She’s not like me, she takes her royal duties a little too seriously.”

“If you were doing it for fun, I would’ve done the same thing you did.” Amina smiled.

“Me and Bernard would’ve been a prince and princess if we grew up in the creek.” Alexis added.

“There’s no princes, princesses or queens, even if there’s a queen in the sewers.” Kenneth filling in. “There’s only one king who takes over the other side of the creek. Co-kings can be possible but it will be the first ever to happen.”

“I would love to consider what it would look like to be a king in the creek, but me and Alexis are heading in the proper direction.” Bernard commented.

“Bet the current ruler isn't making any arrangements for the future.” Cariss said.

“Don’t say that.” Kenneth responded. “While there isn’t a ruler right now…what happened afterwards put the former king…into…” He couldn’t finish his sentence which took Steven by notice.

“Into what?” Steven spoked.

Kenneth took a deep breath however, he couldn’t hide his brother’s identity anymore. “Into what my younger brother’s doing.”

Steven dropped his pizza with his eyes shot open, finally completing the puzzle that Xavier is Kenneth’s brother all along. “Your brother…was the one who bamboozled me?”

“Yes, he did.”

“Is that a problem?” Gibson replied.

“No…not really.”

Steven’s mood had turned from happiness to almost the opposite, but he refused to take it out on Kenneth and the others. “Kenneth, can we talk outside?” He replied.

“Good idea.” The two got out of the table they sat as they got out of the restaurant.

“Who’s your brother’s name?”

“Xavier.” From the answer alone, Steven closed his eyes, while trying to be calm as possible.

“Okay, so he wanted to keep his name anonymous just so you can be friends with me?”

Kenneth lowered his head while attempting to be honest with Steven. “I can’t say yes. We did enjoy being friends, right?”

Steven placed his hands on his hips. He doesn’t want to say no, but it got harder for him to say yes. “You didn’t betray me, I still want to be your friend. But now that photo you have really has something to do with your brother, Xavier.”

“He’s just trying to help.”

“Sorry, but I seriously doubt that.” Steven knows something is really wrong, in fact, he’s now aware that Xavier is in an alliance with Ruby and Aquamarine. “Don’t you think we should've met without his help?”

“I wouldn’t have gotten the photo without him. Would you feel the same way if you had the photo?”

“The photo of me or you hugging a kid would mean something, but I didn’t save his life.”

“It felt real with the tears in your eyes.”

Steven’s memory of hugging Craig in the Tea Timers’ Club felt too generous of him protecting kids, as it was the closest he got with Craig yesterday, aside from the failed fusion. “It’s hard to believe but…” He then looked in the distance where the creek is located. “...should we talk about this tonight…at your place?”

“It’s still the middle of the day.”

“I’m sorry, but I really need to go. This is really important.”

“Is it about that kid?”

“Yes. I don’t know if I’m gonna take him along, but I’m gonna check up on him.”

“Should I come along?”

“No. As much as I want help from a friend, I’ve done this many times before, alone.”

Kenneth wanted to know how Steven can handle any problem involving a child, even if the photo was real or not. But he understands that his friend got bamboozled from his brother, especially since he wants to know if he got bamboozled.

“Okay. After lunch, You go right ahead to that kid.”

“Thanks.” Steven responded. “I wish we could do more today but…”

“There’s always tomorrow or the next day.” Kenneth placed his hand on Steven’s shoulder. “Tonight, we should come up with a plan.”

“Okay. I think of something.” Steven smiled. “Let’s go back inside.”

Steven and Kenneth went back inside of Pasta La Vista to finish lunch with the others. Soon after, they all left with Bernard’s friends heading to their homes while Steven dropped off Kenneth to his house. He drove back to Craig’s house as he, Bernard and Alexis came out. 

“Do you patch things up outside of the restaurant with him?” Alexis asked.

“Yes, I agreed to come over to his house for a meeting.” Steven answered. “I can handle myself, you two can have the rest of the day to yourselves.”

“I’ll let mom know about the friend you're making, I’ll show her the pictures I’ve taken.” Bernard added.

“Thanks Bernard.”

“Aren’t you coming in with us?” Alexis wondered.

“I’m gonna take a walk in the neighborhood, I’ll meet you back as soon as I can.”

“Okay.”

“Understand you have my brother for the whole day in the creek tomorrow. No need to do it today.” Bernard remained.

“I’m aware.” Steven smiled.

Bernard and his girlfriend entered the house, while Steven waited until Bernard closed the front door. He turned around, focusing on the creek without anything in his way. He ran across the road and entered the creek. He may not know where Craig is, but it’s not stopping him. Before he gets to the bottom of this involving Xavier, he’ll make sure his best friend is safe and sound.

Chapter 31 The Crystal Dream

Craig woke up from his slumber while getting on his feet. But in his surroundings, he isn’t in the cave with Bluebird anymore. Roses fell from the sky, but the moment he turned around, he was taken aback by a statue of Rose, the same Rose he saw in his pink visions. It poured out water from its eyes as it poured in the fountain. Craig looked at his reflection from the water and his eyes weren't pink.

“This is so…beautiful.” He responded.

“Indeed it is…beautiful.”

From that soothing voice, Craig turned around with a small blue gem in the star shaped entrance. “Who are you?” Craig took notice.

She came out of the shadows in the entrance to reveal herself. “Sapphire.” She walked up to him. Just when Craig’s about to speak from his mouth, Sapphire placed her finger on him. “Steven told you about my wedding, and me being part of a fusion.”

“You knew what I was gonna say?”

“Yes, I have future vision.”

“Holy cow…”

Sapphire paid attention closely to Craig from the way he was stunned in utter disbelief. “You should know I’m not the only one here. You need more gems for your sanctuary.”

“There’s more?” Craig looked around. “The ones Steven mentioned?”

“Yes but first, we need to get Ruby.” She took Craig’s hand as they teleported from the fountain to the open valley. Craig blinked with the wide open spaces he’s in, as if he’s no longer in the creek with only a few trees in sight.

“This is supposed to be all fake but…It feels so real.” Craig lifted his hands out to feel the open spaces. “The smell and wind…is…”

“Peace.” Sapphire responded. “Peace…and freedom.” Then in the distance, a cowboy appeared with her horse, making their way which took Craig’s attention. “Here she comes.”

The cowboy stopped in front of Craig and Sapphire as Craig’s taking a back from the color of the horse. The cowboy got off and landed on the ground, it stared at Craig upon lifting her head up with her eyes revealed from her hat. “Who are you, partner?” She responded.

“Craig.” Craig answered.

“I’ve never seen someone like you in my life.” She then walked up, giving him a serious look as Craig tried to stand still. “Are you into cowboys and riding horses?”

“No. But my friend J.P. does.”

“What’s the matter? You think riding horses isn’t part of freedom?”

“Ruby.” Sapphire spoked to the cowboy’s attention. “If he doesn’t like cowboys and riding horses, it doesn't mean he doesn’t like that type of freedom.”

Ruby looked back at Craig as Craig sweated while smiling, awkwardly. “You’ve been spared from the Ruby Rider.”

“Soo…I reckon we’re not friends?”

Ruby then grinned while giving Craig a hug. “I reckon that you are someone who needs another friend.”

Craig slowly got into the hug, he wrapped his arms around the cowboy with Sapphire growing a smile. Craig noticed the horse staring at him, her purple color skin mostly bothers him, but there’s something he has yet to know about it.

“So where do we go now?” Craig asked as Ruby broke the hug. They then get teleported again from the valley, inside of a five star apartment in the hotel. “Inside an expensive apartment!?” Craig rushed to the window with his jaw dropped from the endless buildings he’s seeing. “In a big city!?”

“In Empire City, there’s no such thing as more than enough.” Sapphire commented.

Craig headed back to Sapphire, Ruby and her horse. “Who are we meeting?”

“One of Steven’s mothers.”

The lights turned off with only the spotlight focusing on the stairs, catching Craig’s attention. Four people in tuxedos with hats came down the stairs, stopping in front of Craig as he took notice of their appearances. Another from his pink visions only this time, he witnessed colors of Yellow, Blue, Pink, and mostly aquamarine.

“Pearls.” He responded.

“Correct.” Yellow Pearl responded as she took off her hat.

“But which one is Steven’s Pearl?” Pink Pearl taking off her hat.

“There can only be one Crystal Gem.” Blue Pearl taking off her hat.

When Craig saw the last Pearl taking off her hat, he looked closely at her hair. Even from his pink vision, his memory hadn't been wiped from any of the shapes he saw. “She’s the real Pearl.” He pointed at her.

“Clever kid.” Pearl smiled. “How did you know?”

“It’s hard to believe but…I’ve had pink visions to see any gem at random.”

“Pink eyes? That’s something Steven doesn’t have.”

“It’s highly unusual for a kid without a gem to have that power.” Yellow Pearl commented.

Craig knew that everyone except Sapphire wouldn’t know the true meaning of all this. But since he’s not in the cave in any hostile danger, it’ll never hurt for how respectful the gems are. “Steven gave me this power because…” The Pearls paid attention while Sapphire, Ruby and the horse did the same. “...he put saliva in my ear.”

Pearl couldn’t believe it but she was surprised that this type of magic affected a kid’s mind. “A visual illusion.” She responded.

“Even when Steven’s gone, he still has new powers to unlock.” Ruby replied.

“This time, this kid has a power thanks to him.” Blue Pearl said.

“Do you think I should talk to some other gem about this?” Craig asked.

“We'll take you to her right now.” Sapphire spoked as she and the others teleported one more time with Pearl coming along. The final location they went to, is the beach with the sky purple with pink appearing on the clouds. Both Ruby and Sapphire walked past Craig as he watched them with the ocean waves behind them “This is a beach. Have you ever been to the beach?”

“Yes.” Craig looked around. “But I’ve never seen a beach with these colors. It’s surreal, but I really like it.”

Sapphire placed her hand underneath Craig's chin, turning him to her direction. “This is Beach City.”

“Beach City.”

Then the horse fused back to its original form. “This isn't your ordinary beach from your town, dude.”

“Wow!” Craig reacted.

“Really Amethyst?” Pearl retorted.

“What? I had the least first impressions by being a horse while you had it better.” Amethyst said

“I needed a horse to ride.” Ruby replied. “It’s not my fault his dream gave you the short end of the stick.”

Craig stood in place while learning that everything he’s experienced is all a dream. “So all of this…isn’t real.”

“It wouldn’t be real. However, with you having the visual illusion.” Sapphire spoked. “What happens in your mind, makes anything real on the outside. Including your dreams.”

“If it’s possible…Am I talking to you all as the real…” Craig stopped himself, as if his pink visions became a gift but it was too good to be true.

“No…” Amethyst replied. “If it were, we would all be sleeping. Even though I do sleep every once in a while.”

“What we mean is you wouldn’t have this dream without what Steven gave you.” Pearl added. “But we’re still here to help you.”

Sapphire and Ruby grabbed their hands as they glowed in front of Craig. They grew taller together as Craig looked up, witnessing his second fusion in person. The glow died down, revealing her form while Craig only had one word to say.

“Garnet.”

“The true kind of first impressions.” Garnet smiled as she kneeled to Craig’s level “You will wake up in a moment, but this isn’t going to be the only dream you have.”

“What do you mean?”

“There’s more gems who want to meet you, but there’s not enough time. But I will let you know how you can get rid of your visions.” Garnet took off her shades, looking at Craig with her three eyes. “Have Steven take you to Beach City to meet us in the real world.”

“What?” Craig reacted.

“You can’t have them removed in any other way. It’s hard to believe but when you meet us in the real world, we could find a way to turn you back to normal.”

Craig thought that facetime is the only way he’ll ever see the Crystal Gems face to face, but if this was just a regular dream, Steven would’ve been gone with his imagination doing all the work. “I want to go but I don’t know what Steven would feel.”

“We don’t blame Steven for leaving, but it was bound for him to come back.” Pearl walked up to Craig. “We didn’t expect you out of all the people who would make it possible.”

“Since he left, we thought he would come back years down the line. But not after a few months.” Amethyst also walked up.

“But once I tell him about this, he’s gonna have to deal with my parents, who won’t even allow him to take me.” Craig then sighed, knowing there’s more going on outside of his dream. “If they find out about Bluebird…I’ll never ever go to Beach City.”

“Don’t bring that down between you and your parents.” Garnet replied. “Xavier is responsible for it, not you or Steven.”

“You know he wants to go to this place…and also Homeworld?”

“Yes but at the end of the day, he’s a kid with no real power. But there’s a way to defeat Bluebird. Fuse into Steven.”

“He tried to…but we got interrupted.”

“You still have your chance. It may not happen tomorrow, or the next day. But you will fuse with Steven.” Garnet then used her hand to get a spare of magical shades. “I see the future in the real world.”

“Only because of my pink visions?”

“Yes and know this.” She placed her hands on Craig’s arms. “We enjoy seeing new fusions when Steven fuses with us.”

“So many possibilities happen when a new fusion happens.” Pearl commented.

“And how awesome it’ll feel.” Amethyst added.

Craig wished the fusion happened yesterday when he had the chance. But if the time is right, it has to be in good use. “You did say that Steven has unfinished business, just like I do with him.”

“Then you have unfinished business with us when you have your next dream.” Garnet kissed Craig’s forehead with sparks on it. Craig’s surroundings bathed in a pink hue, getting a future vision thanks to Garnet. He saw Bluebird flying towards him but with Steven next to him. He took his hand as they glowed. The only thing he saw before it ended was his hands and his height got taller.

He woke up from his dream with his eyes back to normal. He slowly got up, turning around with Bluebird still guarding. He couldn't believe his mind allowed him to have dreams with The Crystal Gems, but it was useful. When Bluebird was about to attack in his future vision, it was in the creek, not the forest of Beach City. He sat on the ground, not uttering a word, with a possibility he may not have to wait tomorrow if the time is today, with the fusion potentially sending him free outside of Bluebird’s lockdown.

“Let’s see if misery is your term of victory Bluebird! Same goes to you Xavier!”

Chapter 32 Belief Fusion

“Craig!” Steven called out, whilst running in the Creek.” Craig!” He then witnessed Jessica and Craig’s friends sitting alone at the Trading Tree. “Jessica!” He walked up to her. “Where’s Craig?”

“When me and my brother arrived in the creek, Ruby and Aquamarine captured him and I don’t know where they are.” Jessica answered.

“She told us what happened and we decided to stay here.” Kelsey filled in.

“We just don’t want to get hurt.” J.P. added.

Steven couldn’t believe his enemies took advantage the moment Craig didn’t escape. “Unbelievable.” He placed his hand on his face. “It’s probably been almost five hours.”

“At least you haven’t spent all day alone.”

“I was making a friend close to my age, Craig’s mom ordered me to.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling them.” Jessica replied. “At least most of the kids you met yesterday understood and moved on when I talked to them about it.”

“It’s hard to go through a day with Steven okay!?” Kelsey reacted.

Steven took a deep breath while trying to stay on topic. He still remembers that Kenneth is Xavier’s brother, but he doesn’t have enough time to save Craig before heading home. Then Maya and her group walked down in the Trading Tree, after telling them her time meeting Steven yesterday. “Steven?” Maya walked up to him from behind.

“Maya?” Steven turned around.

“You’re here, this is perfect!”

“We know where Craig is!” Aggie smiled.

“Really!?” Steven smiled.

“Yes, we'll take you where he’s right now.” Keun Sup commented.

“But…” Maya stopped herself with the biggest downside of it all.

“It's Bluebird, isn’t it?” Steven guessed.

“Yes. Are Connie and Lion coming back?”

“Sorry, I texted Connie and she’s still busy in college.” Steven then looked at the champions of the other side of the creek. This gave him an idea but it’s a risky one to save Craig. “Are you willing to do me a favor?”

“We’ll do what we can.” Aggie responded.

“Can I get my bat, if I can make a run for it?” Maya asked.

“You’re probably gonna be late, but it’ll be worth a shot.” Steven smiled.

“We wanna help too!” Kelsey offered.

“Craig is our friend too.” J.P. added.

“Even if I get my foot hit against another brick wall, I’m doing it for my brother.” Jessica putting her foot down, only to have her foot throb in pain again, with a tear falling from her eye. “But I do need an ice pack.”

Steven closed his eyes, rethinking about the safety of Craig’s friends and sister. But he can’t deny that if he had friends at Craig’s age, especially living a normal life, would do the same thing if he was captured. “Just be careful and whatever you do, follow my lead.”

“No problem.” Kelsey replied. Steven put together his plan with Craig’s friends, sister, Maya and the champions joining in his aid. They rushed to their destination, whilst Maya ran back to get her bat from her place.

Back at the cave, Craig remained seated, still waiting for the future he saw before he woke up. But he didn’t move to make Bluebird feel suspicious, even if she’s not looking at him. He doesn’t know when Steven’s coming but he wouldn’t leave him in lockdown when the day’s over. Outside of the cave, Steven and the others witness the cave.

“He’s in there with Bluebird.” Aggie pointed. “Bluebird will come out if anyone comes in.”

“Okay.” Steven replied. “We just need to set up a diversion for Craig to escape.”

“Can we rescue Craig from the cave?” J.P. asked.

“Yes, but make it quick. Run as fast as you can while we stop Bluebird.”

“Such a blurbed out plan.” Bluebird flew out of her cave, landing on the ground. “Ever heard of whispering Steven?”

“You know this was bound to happen. I can stay here all day if I have to.”

“With this as your rescue party?” Bluebird pointed at his group. “You’re making this way too easy for me.”

Steven crossed his arms, giving Bluebird a serious look. “You’re not the only one who can make strategies ahead of time.”

“Then where’s Maya? Did she run away like a coward? I can give you the benefit of the doubt to come here but not her.”

This caused Steven to smirk, with ego getting the better of Bluebird. “We can’t beat you, but that doesn’t mean we have to.”

Then Keun Sup ran out from the left, throwing small rocks at Bluebird, catching her off guard. “Ahh!”

Then Aggie threw a bigger rock at her, causing her to hit the ground. “Okay you three, go now!” Steven demanded as Jessica, J.P. and Kelsey rushed inside the cave. Steven summoned his shield to keep an eye on Bluebird when she comes back up.

“Craig!” Kelsey called as she and the others appeared.

“Guys.” Craig smiled while picking up his bag.

“Steven, the champions and us are getting you out of here.” Kelsey grabbing his arm. “But we have to go to either my or J.P.’s house!”

“Wait!” Craig stood in place while Jessica pushed him.

“Craig, we could get trapped if we stay here!” She shouted.

“I know.” He turned around. “But I’ve got a better plan. Trust me on this.”

His friends stood in place, while still looking out the entrance with Steven and the others stopping Bluebird after she burst out of her boulder. “This either could be really good or really bad.” J.P. commented.

Outside of the cave, Steven threw his shield at Bluebird to keep her occupied, but it wasn’t enough until Bluebird fought back. “What are you doing in there? Come out!” Aggie shouted.

When Craig and the others got out of the cave, Bluebird took notice as she summoned her cutlass. “I don’t think so!” Just when she’s about to attack, Craig rolls out of the way while his friends and sister stopped by Bluebird, preventing them from getting cut. Craig rushed out of the scene as Aggie threw another boulder but Bluebird moved out of the way. She flew towards Aggie, allowing J.P., Kelsey and Jessica to follow Craig.

“Just keep running, I’ll catch up!” Steven called.

Craig and his group ran as fast as they could to get away from the diversion. “So we’re gonna wait until Steven comes to you!?” Kelsey called. “She’s gonna fly towards us!”

“It’s the only way to stop Bluebird. I just need Steven!”

They ran further enough to hide behind the brushes in the creek, camouflaged from Bluebird’s sight. “You’re really going to do this?” J.P. wondered. “What if someone interrupts like what Connie and Lion did?”

“It won’t.”

“How do you know?” Jessica replied.

“Because I saw it in my dream when my eyes were pink.”

His friends and sister catched on but at the same time, they thought there wasn’t anything more whenever his eyes turned pink. “Are you sure your dream will happen?” Kelsey said.

“Yes. He may help me out but I’m also helping him out, and mostly all of us.” Back on the trail, Steven ran to find Craig after the Champions kept Bluebird occupied. He looked around, but there was no sign of Craig around, slowing down in the process. Then Craig came out of the bushes, getting up behind Steven while poking his back. “Craig?” He turned around to witness Craig. “Craig!? What are you doing? Run!”

“No, Trust me on this.”

“She won’t harm you if you’re not at your place, J.P.’s place-”

“Steven!” Craig shouted. “Please, I promise you it’s gonna get rid of Bluebird.”

“Then please make it quick.”

Craig took a deep breath to let out the truth. “I had a dream where Garnet kissed my forehead where I saw the future of us fusing.”

“You mean…for real?”

“It felt real in my dream, just not outside of it, but this will work.”

“You think this is a good time for it?”

“It’s the only way, I’ll remind you later about my dream.”

“Craig!” Bluebird flew up in the sky. “I’m coming after you! Same goes to your friends who interfered!” When she saw Steven and Craig out in the open, she immediately flew down over the trail, launching her attack with her cutlass in her hand.

Craig took Steven’s hand as he closed his eyes. He hoped his eyes would turn pink, but it’s not working. Steven also closed his eyes to make the fusion work; however in the state he’s in now, he couldn’t control it unlike yesterday. “It’s not working, Craig!” He reacted.

“Come on, eyes do your thing!” Craig stumped. Bluebird is in full target of Steven and Craig but Craig didn’t move. Steven needed to move, but his trust in Craig is put to the test. Then thankfully, Craig’s eyes turned pink just in time as he opened them with Bluebird coming close. Thus, Steven and Craig’s bodies glowed, catching Bluebird by notice as she stopped. Craig’s friends and sister witness the glow upon getting up.

Bluebird slightly flew back from the fusion in front of her. “They’re really doing it!?” She flinched.

The height of the fusion got taller as the glow died down. Steven and Craig opened their eyes, with their eyes glowing pink. Their hairdo is just like Steven’s but their skin is black, just like Craig’s. Their clothes were fused with a hoodie and coat combined while Craig’s bag got bigger and pinker.

“Oh…my…stars!” Bluebird reacted.

The fusion looked at Bluebird while making a grin. “You think you’re gonna put this buddy in lockdown?” He taunted.

“Uhhh…”

“My name is Straig Williverse.” Straig leaned down. “I’m giving you a chance to forfeit, or we’re doing it the hard way.”

Bluebird groaned with the disadvantage she’s in against the new fusion. “I’m not a coward! You don’t even know what powers you have!”

“Like you for the first time?”

“Ohhh, burn!” J.P. taunted.

“Then show it to me! Fusion up! Williverse!”

Straig unzipped his bag, revealing a shield in the same shape Steven used, but it was a lot more powerful and much bigger. Then he took out a staff that Craig uses in the creek, but it’s not made out of wood. It’s made out of ancient stone while the diamond Craig placed on it. But thanks to the fusion, it’s solid proof with sparkles coming out.

He then put the two together with the bottom of the shield inserted with the diamond. The weapon sparked thanks to the diamond as Straig pointed it at Bluebird. He held onto the staff tightly while the magic of the shield charged.

His shield launched from the staff, colliding with Bluebird at full force and speed. “Woow.” Jessica commented.

“How am I gonna get Connie to fuse with me?” Kelsey added.

“I have no idea.” J.P. added.

Bluebird flew past the champions, who tried to stop her when she flew up earlier. She impacted the tree as the shield magic dissolved, thus causing Ruby and Aquamarine to de-fuse.

“Ugh!” Ruby landed on the grass.

“Ugh!” Aquamarine added. “He’s stronger than us!”

“Xavier’s not gonna be happy when we tell him about this.”

Then Maya appeared with a steel baseball bat. “I got this!” She picked up Ruby, lifted her up in the air and hit her with her bat. Ruby got launched in the air, farther enough to be out of the creek. Maya picked up Aquamarine and did the same thing as the threats are no longer in sight. “Out of the creek!” She cheered. “A bit late, but still struck the final blow.” She took out her water bottle to take a drink. Little did she know, Straig walked up to her from behind with his shadow blocking her sunlight.

When she turned around, her eyes shot open while spitting out water in the process. “Oh my gosh!” She reacted.

“Calm down, I’m not gonna hurt you.” He responded.

“Who the heck are you!?” She lifted her baseball bat up.

“He’s Steven and Craig in a fusion of Straig Williverse.” Kelsey walked up next to Straig. “But I’m still surprised you two pulled it off.”

Aggie walked up to him face to face with her being shorter and weaker than him. “This looks way better than I imagined.”

“I would be killed if I got into a fight with you.” Maya walked up to the fusion.

“You didn’t even see what he’s really capable of.” Jessica commented. “I saw the whole thing.”

“You’re too late to see it, but I’m not doing a demonstration.” Straig responded. “So let’s keep it that way.”

“Yeah, I’m fine with it.” Maya lowered her bat.

“And honestly, I need to get home now.”

“So how are you going to de-fuse?” Kelsey wondered.

“I don’t know. There are ways to de-fuse so-” Then Straig glowed, catching everyone’s attention as Steven and Craig landed on the ground.

“What happened?” Jessica wondered.

Craig blinked while getting a headache. “My pink eyes stopped working.” He responded. “I guess that must be why.”

Steven got on his feet while straightening his coat. “It’s a work in progress, just like when I fused with Connie for the first time.”

“Well at least whenever my eyes turn pink, we can fuse when we get the chance.”

“That’s something we're gonna have to work on.”

“At least everything worked out.” Jessica replied. “Should we keep this to ourselves from our parents?”

“Big time. I still need to let Nicole know about the friend I made today.”

“Well, since I have my bat, I’m gonna do some baseball practice.” Maya commented. “You’re gonna be here tomorrow?”

“I don’t know about that. I’m gonna have a meeting with my friend tonight at his place. I might do something with him tomorrow.”

The kids were disappointed that they might miss another day with Steven. Craig may have had a dreadful day being in lockdown, but if Steven’s willing to spend another day with his new friend, it’s best to stay at his place or at J.P. or Kelsey’s place. “Do your own thing with your friend.” Craig smiled. “I’ll make sure I don’t get captured again if Ruby and Aquamarine come back.”

“Actually Craig,” Steven looked down at him. “I want you to join in my meeting.”

“Okay, it’ll be nice to meet your friend.”

Steven bit his lip, knowing Craig’s not gonna like the truth. “We should focus on the dream you had after I’m done with your mom, okay?”

Craig nearly forgot about the dream he wanted to tell Steven. “Oh…yeah.” Craig scratched on the back of his head. “I’m just gonna say-”

Steven gave Craig a stop signal with his hand. “Not here, okay? I’m still thinking about how Garnet did that in a dream.”

Craig kept his words to himself as he, Steven and Jessica headed back to their place. They’re thankful they reunited before it was too late but they have a lot to catch up on with each other. But once Steven gets the full story of Craig’s dream, he doesn’t know how to explain it if the Gems in the real world hear about it.

[themusiichouse]

@dragonskxn

Ah, medieval Europe (or at least what looked like it). A great place to be walking around totally lost in 21st-century garb with a really obvious Mage Vibe™ about you. No, really! It's not like you'll get stared at weirdly or anything! Well...

"You know, I really think we shouldn't have walked into this city without casting some sort of illusion on ourselves," Fanny says, gazing uneasily around her at all the strange looks the party was getting.

"I should have thought of that myself, honestly," Franzi replies, in her workout outfit that was clearly showing her well-toned arms and midriff. "I have the distinct feeling that it's not entirely appropriate here to be out in the world showing more than your ankles. Or to be a woman wearing pants."

"You tell me. I fucking hate being stared at," Minona mutters. "I can feel the white people judgment pouring off these fuckers. Like they just know that their counterparts in our world flip their shit at seeing a Black person in a hoodie…"

"For once I'm glad not to be in my kitsune form," Wolfie muses.

"It's not as though any of us could have guessed we'd end up in a place like this," Felix muses. "Or predicted in advance what kind of clothing we'd have to wear."

"Well, I know one person who could have predicted it," Fanny grumbles. "Wilhelm von Blumenthal! You do seiðr, don't you? Can't you predict the future with that? Couldn't you have given us a heads up about--"

She pauses, not hearing a response.

"Hey--where is that little brat anyway?"

----------

The little brat seemed to have other plans. Grinning broadly, he'd slowed so that the group could travel a short distance ahead of him, then ducked into an adjoining road and weaved his way through the little town until he could reach the central square. He didn't care for the townspeoples' suspicious looks, or their superstitious whispers. He wanted to know one thing and one thing alone: Whether the whole "music from the future could kill a medieval peasant" meme was true.

He got up on the central platform from which the town crier presumably announced his messages, and, pressing a finger to his throat in a bit of projection magic to boost his voice even further, called out, "Hear ye! Hear ye!"

The townspeople milling about whipped around, startled. That certainly wasn't their town crier's voice. Before them appeared a man (or was he a boy?) that looked no older than twenty--perhaps younger, even, judging by his short height and that impossibly fresh-looking face. And what on earth was he dressed as? What material were those blue pants of his made of, and why did the kneecaps look frayed? The shape of the letters on his short-sleeved shirt were familiar, but none were literate enough (or well-versed in foreign languages enough) to understand that it read, "WODAN WAS A FEMBOY." They did, however, note that it featured an old bearded guy in makeup and a dress. And immediately, every single one of their hackles went up.

"Citizens of this quaint little town," Wilhelm says, willing his voice to speak in Allspeak that would allow them to understand what he wished to communicate. "As humble as you are, you no doubt have been exposed to the beauty that music can offer you. Where I come from, I have heard the splendid tunes of traditional bards of my day, such as 'Gangsta's Paradise' and 'Pumped Up Kicks.'" He's referring to bardcore, of course. "But today, I will introduce you to a new kind of music. A transcendent experience unlike any you have ever heard before. One that will lift each and every one of you from your well-despised serfdom, and in exultation make you kings and queens. Listen well, for if you do not take the lessons of this new form of song to heart, you may never hear it again. Now is the time! Hear the music of the future! Hear the music of the REVOLUTION!"

A baton materialized in his hand. And as it did, the sound of Ride of the Valkyries poured forth into the air.

----------

"Hello! Bonjour!" Franzi calls to a shopkeeper along the path, waving with a cheery smile. Maybe if they were simply pleasant to these people, they'd excuse their strange appearances. "You wouldn't happen to know where to find--"

But the shopkeeper merely glared at her and turned away, pretending to busy herself with reorganizing her stock.

"You try, Fanny," Franzi sighs. "At least you've got a dress that covers your ankles--"

But it's not long before a sudden burst of music floods the town--Ride of the Valkyries, pouring out from its center. With such dramatically stirring opening notes, no one could miss it--least of all the rest of the Classica family. Fanny jumps as soon as she hears the noise--for that is what Wilhelm's music is to her, noise--and balls a fist.

"Oh, there he is, that insufferable--" Fanny doesn't even finish her insult before tearing off in the direction of the sound.

"What the fuck does he think he's doing?" Johannes cries as he hurries after her. "Do the words 'keep a low profile' not mean anything to him?"

"I probably shouldn't refer to my own grandson as an attention whore," Minona says, "and yet--"

"We can complain about it later," Franzi says, hurrying ahead of Fanny. "We have to grab him and get out of here. Now!"

----------

Wilhelm grins as he let the music flow through the open space, letting the magic overwhelm the senses of all those in front of him. Gone are the town's buildings around him, swept away by a grand illusion of a towering Norse hall soaring through the clouds, guarded by illusory Valkyries that took the form of his most beloved opera singers. A young dark-skinned woman with long hair soars forward, raising her spear to deliver the opening bars of the song;

"Hojotoho! Hojotoho! Heiaha! Heiaha!"

The voice bursts out in what could either be seen as an angelic resonance piercing the heavens or an all-out assault on the eardrums. The peasantry of this small medieval-looking town seems to have taken it as the latter. The townspeople scream at the intensity of the music-magic being hurled at them, hands planted on their ears as the force makes them collapse on the ground. That's to say nothing of the unfamiliarity of it all. What are these instruments, so ferocious and harsh? There is singing, but why is it like that? The sound of the strings arcs and swoops through the air like a lance intent on piercing them, while the brass pummels them without mercy. Some have literally fainted at the shock of the sight and sound; some manage to stand up, and hurry off to God knows where. Franzi sees them leave out of the corner of her eye; it can't be anything good.

"Wilhelm! What do you think you're doing? Get down from there!" Franzi calls, barely audible above the sound.

"Why?" he yells back. "I'm just seeing whether that meme about modern things killing medieval peasants is actually true. And I think it's working!"

"Fucking hell, Wilhelm!" his brother Johannes cries out. "We were literally just asking for directions!"

"We need to go now, before we get into any trouble," Franzi says, ascending the platform and grabbing Wil by the wrist.

"But the fun was just beginning…" Wilhelm pouts.

Well, the fun would come to an end just as soon as it began. Below, a large crowd had gathered, torches and pitchforks in hand, one person even with a long rope fit for tying someone to a stake.

"We were literally just asking for directions," Johannes repeats, as Franzi slings Wil over her shoulder and the group hurries off.

----------

"Put me down! Holy shit! Mom! Put me the fuck down!"

But it's no use simply to scream about it, or to beat her back with his tiny fists. The entire group has roped him up with their magic as Franzi hauls him out of the city, sparkling lines like music staves wrapping around him to bind him to her back. Each one of them alone, he can comfortably take, but when they all worked together, it's a different story…

"We can't stay here anymore. Good job," Fanny grumbles. "Now we're going to have to find another town, and God knows where that would be--"

"Of course we can stay here! There's nothing these simple townsfolk can do against the might of all our magic combined. And what makes you think we can't survive on our own until we get back home, anyhow--"

"It's not about magic, Wil! Not everything is about strength of magic! How would you like to be in a space where you can only force everybody to tolerate you?" Fanny cries. "Well, I mean, you probably already know what that's like, because that's basically the state of your fandom…"

"HEY!" Wil shouts.

"You know, I thought it was funny," Wolfie says cheerfully. "I wonder how they would have responded to my Cupcakke remixes--"

"Don't enable him!" Fanny thwacks Wolfie on the shoulder with the back of her hand.

"Hey, guys," Felix pipes up, "there's a--"

"Come on, loosen up," Wil says, grinning. "Of course it was funny! These people have never heard anything more than some bards tinkling away on a mandolin. Didn't you see? Ride of the Valkyries was literally blowing them away!"

"Well, the fact remains, you basically ruined our reputation in this town before we even had a chance to ask anyone for help," Fanny says.

"Guys, there's a--" Felix tries to interject again, but again his friends keep fighting.

"Yeah, and?" Wil challenges. "It's not like these people have Internet or anything. We can just find another town!"

"Word still gets around!" Fanny says. "It might be slower than in the modern day, but you know people still talk. How many times was your soulbound life caught causing trouble because people kept catching up to you?"

"That was the 19th century! This is a bumfuck century! Big difference!"

"Guys," Felix says, finally being heard, "there is a lady with blue hair following us."

"Huh?" Fanny turns around.

The whole group does, in fact. And there, in the trees, is a lovely young woman with strikingly fluffy blue hair and strangely pointed ears, staring at the party like they'd just come from another universe (which, of course, they did). They knew at once what she was, like what many of the townsfolk suspected: nonhuman. Perhaps that might make her a better ally here than most.

"Hello," Fanny says, stepping through the group to see her better. "What's your name?"

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are Weird: D&D Part 3

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps) Human Barbarian: I roll to decapitate the shop keeper. Alien DM: Is there a reason you keep on decapitating LITERALLY everyone you meet? Barbarian: My character can’t die unless he falls in battle. Alien DM: But they aren’t battles if you kill them in one blow. Barbarian: True, but my guy has been around for hundreds of years and now just kills people for fun. Alien DM: *Looks at other party members* Is this normal? Wizard: Honestly it’s pretty tame for a barbarian. Rogue: At least he’s not the bard that became a necromancer. Alien: What happened with them? Wizard: They became a necromancer just so they could woo the woman that killed herself after talking to him. Alien: *Looks at Necromancer* Really? Necromancer: I was very proud of my seduction streak and I wasn’t about to let death break it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: Why do you always pick humanoid characters? Alien: Why not team up with something that is as large as a bear? Thief: We used to have a Loxodon fighter in the party, didn’t end well. Alien: What happened? Monk: We got trapped in a room flooding with water and only one way out. Warlock: The Loxodon insisted on going first through the doorway because they were afraid of water, but then became wedged in the tiny frame and couldn’t get free. Alien: How did you escape? Monk: We didn’t; we all drowned to death. Alien: If you all died then how are you here talking with me? Thief: Let’s just say we owe a man of questionable magic practices a lot of money. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warrior: Wizard, cast fireball on my sword! Alien Wizard: Why? Warrior: So it will catch on fire and do fire damage as well! DM: I’ll allow it. Alien Wizard: Okay. *rolls a nat 20* DM: Your fireball impacts the sword dead on and melts it instantly. Warrior: What? DM: What do you think happens to cheap metal after it’s been super-heated? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DM: As you sift through the remains of the now fallen lich lord you come across his most powerful weapon. Alien players: *getting excited* DM: A cursed blade slaked in the blood of a thousand thousand victims, each one adding their strength to whomever wields this mighty blade; the most powerful weapon you have ever come across. Alien players: *Really excited now* Alien warrior: Does it have a name? DM: *Nods* It is called……the Bunny Fluffer. Alien warrior: What? You can’t be serious. DM: I did say it was a curse blade. Alien: How can a blade called the “Bunny Fluffer” be cursed?!? DM: Every time you use it in battle you must loudly announce that you are attacking with the bunny fluffer. Alien warrior: You monster! That’s so evi- Alien warrior: *Now realizing why it is cursed* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human: If I feed a Locathah sushi, am I committing a hate crime or unknowingly making them a cannibal? Alien DM: WTF man?!?!? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human DM: You find yourself in a very suspicious village. Alien: You can’t just label an entire town as suspicious. Human: Roll a perception check then. Alien: *Rolls 20* Human DM: You see the town square barren save for a giant stone slab at the very center, the surface of it covered in strange red glyphs that seem to bleed the longer you stare at it. Human DM: The towns people all full length cloaks that hide their appearance with hoods so deep you cannot make out a single detail of their faces. They speak no words nor make a sound as they shift and to and fro between the buildings. Human DM: You stare up at the sky and see it thick with grey clouds that appear to bulge and retract randomly as if they are holding something within. Alien: Alright, alright, we get it. Alien: No need to be so on the nose about it. Human: You walked passed a mass murder drenched in blood because one of you saw the bar tenders dog run outside and wanted to go pet it. Human DM: I take no chances now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: You find yourself locked in the mansion, the body of the host laying across the ballroom floor as all the guests and staff look on. Alien DM: Any one of them could be the killer. Human Warlock: I say we lock all the doors and burn the house down. Human Paladin: What? Human Rogue: That’s a bit extreme. Warlock: Listen, I’ll cast a spell that will make anyone with a guilt free conscious fire resistant. Warlock: That way when the house is on fire only the killer will catch fire and everyone else would be safe. Rogue: I guess that might work…. Paladin: Still… Warlock: Look, I’ll even stay inside to prove how trust worthy it is while you all wait outside and bar the doors. Paladin: Very well. *some time later after the mansion burned down* *Party sees only the warlock remaining among the ashes* Paladin: Impossible! Paladin: They couldn’t all have been the killer! Warlock: True, but their minds were not guilt free so I’m afraid they caught fire. Rogue: So you knowingly just had us kill an entire mansion’s worth of people. Paladin: How are you still alive?! Warlock: Simple; I did not feel the slightest bit guilty about it. Warlock: *Proceeds to remove an artifact that collects the souls of the recently deceased* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: Pick your characters. Human: I am a Halfling necromancer. Human 2: I am an elf necromancer. Human 3: I am a human necromancer. Alien: Seriously?! Alien: Does no one want to be something else? Human 4: I am an orc shaman. Alien: Well thank y- Human 4: That dabbles in necromancy. Alien: Gods damnit! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human DM: And with that you have finally slain the great dragon Human DM: The town of Scabersburgs will forever be in your debt. Alien Wizard: That was a stupid encounter, let’s end it here. *Human DM makes note as the group leaves for the night* *Next week’s encounter* Human DM: You return to find the town of Scaversburg in the grips of a deadly plague. Human DM: The town’s folk are being driven mad as over the last few days many of them have begun growing scales across their body, talons where their fingers once were, and some have even begun sprouting lizard like wings and tails. Human DM: As they see you all return to the village their collective shouts of anger roar across the town as the entire city springs forth to hunt you down. Alien Wizard: Wait what!? Alien Wizard: I call bullshit; how could this suddenly happen?! Human DM: Well, if you had waited long enough to hear the dragons dying words he placed a powerful curse on his blood that any who should drink of it shall become as he once was. Alien Wizard: That’s still bullshit! Alien Wizard: No way the villagers would just walk up to a dead dragon and drink its blood. Human DM: Unless because you failed to dispose of the body the blood seeped into the ground and mixed with the towns water supply, thus contaminating everyone. *Group angrily looks at Wizard that encouraged them to leave early* Human DM: Roll for initiative. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: As you make camp deep within the frost mountains of Galgieth you find that your provisions bag has torn open and you have no food to eat. Alien DM: Unless you act quickly you will starve to death. Wizard: I got this. Wizard: *Turns to barbarian* Wizard: Cut off my left arm. Barbarian: Done! *rolls a nat 20* Alien DM: *Confused* You chop off the left arm of your wizard, the limb falling lifelessly to the ground as spouts of blood pour out. Wizard: I cast regeneration to regrow my severed limb. *Rolls a nat 20* Alien DM: *Still confused* Your left arm grows back as if it was never gone. Wizard: I put my severed limb over the open fire to cook. Alien DM: You want to turn your party into cannibals? Rogue: Wouldn’t be the first time.

[ssahotchhner]

reckless endangerment

the reader can't let go of the trauma of aaron being kidnapped and tortured six months ago.

pairing: hotch x reader

warnings: kidnapping, torture, smut, dom!hotch

masterlist

questions, comments, concerns

It was stupid to jump on the helicopter that contained at least two terrorists as it took off that roof in Manhattan. Even stupider that you had done it alone, Aaron’s voice screaming for you from behind. You weren’t sure he would forgive you for this if you survived so you supposed it was a good thing you weren’t planning on surviving.

Why did you jump on the helicopter, you may ask, and that would be a reasonable question. Perhaps it was your hero complex finally getting the better of you, knowing the helicopter was planning on flying straight into the Empire State Building, loaded with explosives. Or perhaps it was because these terrorists were part of a group that had tortured Aaron for hours a few months ago when he was on assignment in Pakistan and you had always believed fully in revenge. Aaron did not, he was much better than you.

“Hold your fire!” Aaron had yelled when it was clear you weren’t getting off that helicopter, “Federal agent on board!”

“With all due respect, sir, but you said that helicopter was headed for the Empire State Building where there are thousands of tourists and--”

“I said hold your fire.” Aaron snarls at the leader of the SWAT team. He knows he’s being ridiculous, letting emotion cloud his judgement, but how can he let them blow up a helicopter that you’re on? And why the fuck had you jumped on it in the first place?

The SWAT agent glared at him, “That helicopter gets within a hundred yards of the building, I’m ordering my men to shoot it down.” And then he walked away.

“Hotch!” Morgan yells, the rest of the team not far behind him, “What the hell did she do that for?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” He responded. He was furious with you, so much so he couldn’t think straight.

JJ steps closer, the panic evident on her face, “She’s not responding on radio.”

He looks at the rest of the team, all of them one step away from absolutely losing their minds over the fact that one of their own had gone on a suicide mission without consulting any of them, and then he looks back to the helicopter that’s getting smaller and smaller by the second.

***

SIX MONTHS AGO

You take a sip from your glass, “I miss you.” You say to your computer screen.

On that screen, SSA Aaron Hotchner smiles back at you, “I know. I’ll be home before you know it.”

“When you get back,” You say slowly, “Can we… Can we tell them? About us?”

By them, he knew you meant the team. He gets quiet, the smile falling off his face, “Are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Hotch, they’re like our family. I feel terrible keeping things from them. It was fun in the beginning, but I don’t want to hide it anymore.”

He swallows, but then nods, “Okay.”

“Really?”

He smiles, “Yeah, of course. I don’t like hiding you either.”

You’re about to tell him you love him when there are suddenly men in the tent, “Aaron?” He looks around and scrambles for his gun, but he’s too late. One of the men hits him in the side of the head with a blunt object and he’s out, “Aaron!” You yell and then the feed cuts out.

***

It was surprisingly easy to disarm them, you supposed because you had surprised them. You easily knocked the gun away from the one who wasn’t piloting, ducked some of his punches before kicking him square in the chest, causing him to fall down. He hit his head on a hard metal handle on the way down, knocking himself unconscious. The Empire State Building was looming closer and closer and you knew if you didn’t stop it, SWAT would shoot down the helicopter. It would lead to less deaths than crashing directly into the building would, but people would still die from fallen debris. You wouldn’t let that happen. You pointed your gun at the man in the cockpit.

***

“Garcia, is her body cam on?”

“No, sir, but I can turn it on.”

Seconds later, the team was viewing the inside of the helicopter. You had knocked one of the men unconscious and handcuffed him to a handle, but you still had to get control of the helicopter.

“Can you hack the helicopter, Garcia?”

He hears the frantic typing of the technical analyst, but she huffs on the other end, “Not under these time constraints no, by the time I get in it’ll be too late.”

“Agent Hotchner, the snipers have locked in on the target.”

“Just give her another minute.”

“We don’t have another minute.”

He sighs, “She’s about to take control of the cockpit.”

“Does she know how to fly a chopper?”

“She’ll figure it out. Stand down, I won’t say it again.” Hotch’s radio goes silent after that.

***

You waste no time getting the team together and forty minutes later you’re sitting in the conference room, styrofoam cup of coffee warming your hands.

“You were video calling Hotch? At 10 PM?” Reid asks. From anyone else, it would sound accusatory, but you knew he was just genuinely curious.

“10 PM here is 7AM for him. I caught him right before he started his day, wanted to ask him about a case.”

Spencer frowns, “What case?”

Your mouth falls open as you try to fumble for something, but it’s already too late. “I knew it.” Rossi says quietly.

You grind your teeth together, “I’m sorry, is dissecting my love life more important to you guys than finding Hotch after he’s been kidnapped by a terrorist group?” You stand, squashing the empty styrofoam cup in your hand and toss it in the waste bin as you walk out of the room.

Moments later, Spencer’s standing next to you and you immediately feel guilty, “I didn’t mean to pry,” He says, “Honestly, the two of you being romantically involved was the last thing I would have guessed.”

The corners of your lips turn up just slightly, “I didn’t mean to snap in there, I know you meant nothing by it, I just… Right before he was taken we talked about telling you all. Together. Once he got back.” You sniff, “Part of me feels like all of you figuring it out without him here is the universe saying he’s going to die out there. I know that’s silly, but…”

“It’s not silly at all. When you’ve witnessed something traumatic, like a loved one being taken away in front of you with no way for you to help, your brain looks for anything to rationalize it. Even the universe predicting the outcome.”

Spencer's voice throwing out facts was actually fairly soothing, “Thank you, Dr. Reid.”

“Come on.” He squeezes your shoulder, “Let’s bring Hotch home.”

***

“Slowly put your hands up and back away from the controls,” You say, flexing your fingers on the gun, “Now!” You say when he doesn’t move. You’re running out of time. Finally, he slowly raises his hands, but at the last second turns and lunges for you. The helicopter tips as you fall over, your gun misfires at the ceiling before tumbling out of the chopper, and you’re free falling until your face slams on the floor and your hands grab the outside edge of the helicopter so hard you’re sure you ripped out your fingernails. Dangling, you grunt as you scramble to hook your feet on something. The pilot, already assuming you’re dead, had gone back to the cockpit.

Finally, you haul yourself back inside and run to him, ripping him out of his seat. He’s bigger than you, though, and quickly overpowers you. His hands wrap around your throat as you’re pinned to the floor and you’re choking, suffocating. All you can think is at least you’ll die before the chopper goes up in flames. And then, in a last ditch effort that’s more involuntary reaction than conscious choice, you’re able to knee him in the groin. His hands immediately leave your throat and instead of taking the moment to catch your breath, you kick him off you and he rolls to the open door. You reach for him, but you’re too late, he falls.

You wanted revenge, but you didn’t want to kill anyone. But you had no time to think about that now. You cough a few times and then stumble over to the cockpit. For the first time since you jumped on the helicopter, you turn your radio back on.

“I don’t suppose one of you knows how to fly a chopper?”

***

When you reenter the conference room everyone’s watching the last few seconds of the video call. They look at you apologetically and you nod in acknowledgement. You have to close your eyes at the sound of your own screams.

“Who was he working to take down while he was there?” Morgan asked.

“The leader of the Kashmir Jehad Force, his name was Syed Khan.” You said.

JJ frowned, “He told you all of this? Wasn’t it classified?”

You nodded, “Hotch asked to bring me on a few weeks ago when they were stuck. I was debriefed, but then they had a break before I could get on the plane. They finished the operation a few days ago, Hotch was supposed to come home in the next couple of days.”

“So Khan is dead?” Rossi asked.

You nod, “No one was supposed to know it was the US Government who did it. They wanted it to look like an accident. They shouldn’t have known Hotch was there.”

“Are you thinking there’s a double agent?” Emily asked.

You shrug, “It’s either that or Hotch was sloppy. Which one would you bet on?” The room is silent. “Exactly.” You say quietly.

***

They don’t have time to be relieved about the fact that you single handedly re-hijacked the chopper because now you need to figure out how to safely land it and you’re a football field length away from the Empire State Building. Reid jumps into action, apparently having read a lot about helicopters when he was younger.

“I’m assuming he had it on autopilot, the button will be glowing green on your left, turn it off and then get ready to steer.”

You sigh, “Spencer, I am so happy to hear your voice.” You flip off the switch like he said and the helicopter immediately starts beeping at you and plummets. You try and remain calm and pull it up and then turn the helicopter in the opposite direction from the building and sigh. “You know how to land this thing, right Reid?”

“Yeah, I’ll walk you through it.”

Hotch has to walk away from the conversation because he’s so caught up in feeling relieved that you’re alive and absolutely furious with you for doing what you did. He thinks he knows why you did it. You had been absolutely torn up when he had been taken while in Pakistan and you had been on edge this whole case knowing the terrorists you were after had been a part of the group that had tortured him.

***

When Hotch wakes up, he’s chained to the ceiling by his wrists, shirtless. He can feel a migraine blooming from his temple where he was hit, but he knows the real pain hasn’t even begun yet. He can hear talking from the corner of the room and before they can see that he’s awake, he begins detaching himself. He pictures your face, smiling at him on your first date. The way you smile sleepily at him when he kisses you first thing in the morning. The way you scrunch up your forehead just a little when you’re thinking really hard. The first time you told him you loved him. And then he’s with you and no one can touch him, no one can hurt him.

***

“Do you know where they would keep him?” Strauss is sitting in the conference room now, looking at you, “You were debriefed, is it enough for a profile?”

You sighed deeply, eyes darting back and forth as you tried to recall all the information you know, “I know most of the profile for Kahn, but we never focused on the group as a whole because we wanted to find him alone when we neutralized him.” You tap your fingers on the table, “I have no idea what a group without Kahn would function like, even knowing what I knew before, the fact that Kahn is gone would change the whole profile. We don’t know who took over.”

“And what do you know about the group?”

“Um,” You blinked a few times, you were having a hard time focusing, “They were all followers, none of them would have been capable of leading. Whoever is in control now was outside of the group.”

“Maybe our double agent?” Emily says.

You nod, “That would make sense.”

Strauss frowns, “You think there’s a double agent?”

“There’s no way the group would have known Hotch was responsible if they didn’t have insider information.” You say.

“What you’re proposing is that a terrorist somehow infiltrated a Top Secret US Operation, waited for us to kill a terrorist leader, then took over that same terrorist group and kidnapped the leader of our operation.” Strauss said and waited for someone to say something, “Does that not sound ridiculous to anyone else?”

“Do you have any other ideas?” You ask sharply.

“Yes, that Agent Hotchner left something behind at the scene that pointed the remaining group in his direction.”

You’re shaking your head, “If you’re so certain that’s the case, then check their old stronghold. If it’s a new guy, they would have abandoned it, which I’m certain they did. But be my guest, waste our time and your men.” You storm out of the conference room for a second time.

***

You find yourself in Aaron’s office and you tilt your head to the side, stretching out a kink in your neck before sitting on the couch. You look around the office, well decorated with plaques commemorating his work in the bureau. When you get up and walk around to his side of the desk, you notice a small gold frame that hadn’t been there before. In it is a small picture of the both of you sitting on the beach at sunset. When had he put this here? When had he decided that it was worth the risk of your coworkers noticing that new frame? Seeing you propped on his desk like that?

And then you were crying and you couldn’t stop it and you just wanted to hold him. “Looks like you just outed your relationship to Erin.” You looked up to see Rossi standing in the doorway and wiped your tears, sniffling.

“Not like she can say anything considering you both make it a habit of checking in at the same hotel every weekend.” You snap, and then sigh instantly, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, kiddo.” He says and walks over to put a hand on your shoulder, “You miss him.”

“A few hours ago we were talking about what we were going to do when he gets back, and now he’s gone.”

“He’s coming back, Y/N. We’ll find him.”

***

You had been right about the former stronghold being abandoned. All signs now pointed to a double agent. You tried to think of everything Aaron had told you about the team that would be a part of the operation, but you kept coming up empty. When a list was brought out with pictures of each you went over it again, every conversation you had had with Aaron since he left.

And then… there was one interaction, one interruption that you and Aaron had both dismissed at the time.

A man walks up behind Aaron while he’s talking to you, debriefing you back when they thought you’d be flying in. At the look on your face, Hotch had turned around to face him, “Can I help you with something?”

The man had simply shook his head and left, but you could have sworn for the rest of the call, he had lingered. Listening. Aaron had explained to you that most of those involved in the operation hadn’t known the full details of the plan up until they had left, in order to prevent situations like the one they were in now.

There were times when Aaron was talking to you on the phone and he told you he felt like someone had been watching him, but you both dismissed it as paranoia. And when the pictures and names were presented to you again, you pointed to the man you were sure you saw on that one video call. “What do we know about him?” You asked.

And the look of dread on Erin’s face when you pointed him out told you everything you needed to know. Garcia did what she always did and soon they knew every detail of his life. He was a textbook narcissist and sociopath. Incredibly charming, everyone loved him, he could convince almost anyone to follow him. He had an FBI background and rumor had it, he thought he was to be the one to lead this operation until Aaron showed up.

“So he takes over an entire terrorist organization just to take out Hotch?” Morgan asks, “We have to be missing something.”

You’re getting impatient, “Well let’s figure it out on the jet.”

“This team is not going to Pakistan.” Erin says firmly, “We will inform an extraction team that’s already on the ground when we figure out where they’re holding him.” You’re already rolling your eyes and preparing a retort and she notes that and continues, “If you can’t compartmentalize your emotions, Agent, I will have you removed from the case.”

You hold yourself back from yelling that you need to be the one who brings him home, because you know how ridiculous it sounds and you being stubborn isn’t helping Aaron. “Fine.” You say, “Here’s what I can tell you.”

***

You’re on top of him, straddling his hips, giggling as your hair falls in your face. He reaches up to push it away and you grind your hips against his. “Hotchner.” You say, “You have to wake up.” He frowns. It’s not your voice.

And before he can stop it, your face swims away and it’s replaced by SSA Scott Carter. It takes him a few moments to realize that Carter isn’t here to help him and that he was probably behind this whole thing. “Carter?” He manages.

Carter smiles, “Ah, the darling of the BAU finally awakens. What were you dreaming about, Hotchner? Sounded juicy. Was it about your girlfriend?” His head shot up at that. If you were in danger, he’d kill this son of a bitch. “Oh, I hit a nerve.” He smirks, “Did you tell her you weren’t planning on coming home this week? That you had some loose strings to tie up?”

Hotch blinked, his brain was still fuzzy from what he assumed was a concussion, “You… You’re the one stealing the military weapons and selling them to the terrorist organizations.” He hadn’t told you he was planning on staying a few more days to figure out who was transporting the weapons, he had still been hoping to figure it out before his flight was scheduled to leave, but Carter had been his prime suspect. Apparently, Carter had figured out he was on to him. It was why he was able to get Khan’s men to drag him from his tent this morning.

Carter gives him a slow clap, “You know, for a profiler, I’m disappointed you hadn’t figured it out sooner, Hotchner. Really, I’m very torn up about it. I have half a mind to fly to Quantico after you’re dead and demand your position.”

Aaron laughs, “You’re out of your mind if you think my team won’t figure this out in a quarter of the time it took me to.”

“What did you tell them, Hotchner?”

“I haven’t been in contact with my team in weeks.”

“Oh, but your girlfriend. Did you think I’d forget she’s a federal agent in the BAU as well?”

“She doesn’t know anything, the mission was classified, you know that.”

“You never mentioned your suspicions of a lucrative weapons trading operation?”

“No.”

Carter hums and takes out a knife, “I don’t believe you.”

Hotch doesn’t flinch, “Then go ahead and carve me up, Carter. You won’t be the first.”

***

With Reid’s help, after working through the night you were able to narrow down the possible holding sights to three places and Strauss ordered three separate teams to check each place. Now the only thing left to do was wait.

You’re sitting alone in Hotch’s office when Penelope, JJ, and Emily all walk in, JJ holding a tea for you. You give her a small smile of thanks as you take it, “You guys don’t have to sit with me, I’m okay.”

“Did you think we were going to just let you gloss over the fact you never told us you were dating Hotch?” Penelope said.

You manage a genuine smile and look down at your tea, “We weren’t sure when or how to tell you guys. Or if it would make things weird.”

JJ shrugs, “We’re already family and families are weird.”

“Not the point,” Penelope interjects, “We need all the details now, who made the first move?”

“He did, actually,” You smile recalling the memory, “He asked me if he could call me outside of work hours and I said sure, he could always call me to discuss a case. Then he got really red and I asked him if there was something else he would want to call me about. And he cleared his throat and asked if he could call me to ask me out to dinner sometime and I laughed and said yes.”

Emily shakes her head, “Hard to imagine that man getting flustered over anything.”

You laugh, “Yeah, he gets really awkward around women he likes romantically, it’s kind of endearing.” You clear your throat, “Thank you guys for trying to distract me.”

JJ nods, “They’re going to find him. Alive.”

You nod, “Yeah. I just wish it was my face he was seeing first.”

***

You had somehow managed to fall asleep at some point, head in JJ’s lap with her fingers gently combing through your hair.

“Guys.” Spencer’s voice jolts you from sleep, “They found him.”

All of you jump up, but you’re the first one out of the room, trailing Spencer, “He’s okay?”

“He’s injured, but yeah, he’s gonna be fine.”

Your legs almost give out, but JJ and Emily come on either side to grab your arms as you walk into the conference room.

“They’re airlifting him to the hospital, he was stabbed a couple of times but they were shallow, some burns, looks like he was waterboarded as well,” Erin Strauss smiles, “But he’s fine. They’ll transfer him to DC first thing in the morning.”

“What about Carter?” You ask.

“It turns out he was stealing weapons from the military and selling them to terrorist organizations and Hotch was onto him. That’s why he took him. Not because of Khan. He wanted to know how much Hotch knew and if he had told you anything.”

You shake your head, “I didn’t know anything about that.”

Strauss nodded, “Carter has people here. Hotch didn’t mention it to you on purpose. So that they wouldn’t take you if something happened.”

You close your eyes. That man, always trying to protect you. Always being the hero. You could have found him hours ago if he had just told you. But that was the man you had fallen in love with.

***

You insisted on being on the roof of the DC hospital when the chopper landed and you charmed all the nurses into allowing you into every room he was wheeled in until he was settled. They had sedated him for the long flight and it seemed he would wake at any moment. You slid your small, cold hand, into his large, warm one and waited.

“I know that ice cold hand,” He said slowly. His voice was gravely and it brought tears to your eyes to see that he was trying to smile. “Oh, hey, don’t cry.” He reaches his hand up to stroke your cheek and you turn your head into his hand to kiss his palm, sniffling.

“I’m very happy to see you.” You manage, choking down your sobs, “I didn’t think I was going to see you again.” His smile grows, “It’s not funny!”

“It’s very funny, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry over anything and certainly not me.” You glare at him through your tears and he chuckles, “Ah, there she is, tough guy. I know the only thing holding you back from punching me in the shoulder is that I’m injured.”

“Oh, I’ll still do it if you don’t shut that pretty mouth of yours.”

He smirks, “Promise?”

And finally you break into laughter and lean over him to kiss his mouth, “You should’ve told me about Carter.” You say, “You could have at least told me you were in danger.”

“And what, have you worried from an ocean away when it might have been nothing? I needed more evidence.”

You bite your lip, “I’ve never been so scared in my whole life, watching you get taken like that.”

“I came home.” He says softly, “I’m okay, I promise.”

You swallow, “Did they get Carter?” He nods, “And what about the guys that took you in?”

“Sweetheart, that’s a whole terrorist organization, no they didn’t get them.”

“They kidnapped a federal agent!” You say indignantly.

“And the federal agent is alive.”

“But—!”

He puts a finger over your mouth to quiet you, “Don’t make me argue with you like your unit chief right now. I just want to be your boyfriend.”

You sigh, “Okay,” Leaning over him, you rest your head on his chest and he begins stroking your hair. Having not slept at all since Hotch had been taken, you fall asleep like that. Finally at peace.

***

You hadn’t really been able to let it go, even when Hotch was better and back to work, he could tell you were harboring real anger about his kidnappers.

And on that morning, the morning you jumped on the god forsaken helicopter, when the BAU was asked to come to New York to investigate a possible terrorist threat, he debated telling you not to come. The government had suspicions that they were here to take revenge for Khan and he knew you’d be upset with being benched.

“Hotch, I’m fine. I’m not angry.” You had said when he pulled you into his office after debriefing the rest of the team.

“If you even hint at taking impulsive, reckless risks I will suspend you immediately, understood?”

You sigh, “I hate when you use your boss man voice with me.”

“Y/N—” He starts impatiently.

“Yeah, yeah, fine, understood. No being reckless. Got it.”

His eyes scan your face to see if you’re lying, “Good.” He says finally and presses a kiss to your forehead, “Let’s go then.”

He should have known you were lying. It was only the previous night you had woken him up tossing and turning from a nightmare. When he had finally gotten you awake you practically flung yourself at him, arms twining themselves around his neck as you caught your breath, “I thought you were gone again.” You had said breathlessly. And he had wordlessly held you to him, running his fingers through your hair until you were asleep again. It hadn’t been the first time he had had to comfort you. You had had far more nightmares about him being taken than he had about himself being tortured. Truth be told, he had been through far worse than being kidnapped and tortured for 24 hours. He knew it made you feel weak, the nightmares, when you weren’t even the one who had been tortured so he never brought them up. Never made you talk about them. But they worried him all the same. You relived the trauma again over and over, nearly every night. How were you expected to let the anger go when you were still living through it?

He should have known, but he let you out in the field anyway. Would that not put in question his ability to lead? His ability to lead with you on the same team?

He can barely see through his anger as he turns back to where Reid is instructing you to land. When you successfully land and jump out of the chopper, the rest of the team gathers around you to hug you, but Hotch stays back, watching.

When you notice, you walk over to him, “Hotch, I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have--”

“You’re suspended for at least a month, if not more.” He starts, “You’re lucky I don’t remove you from this team all together.”

You frown, “Aaron, I was able to detain one of the suspects, now we can learn more about the group--”

“By doing what you did you put yourself and hundreds of civilians at risk. We could have shot down the chopper, but because you jumped onboard I had to instruct them to stand down. Which, by the way, I had to do several times because they were more than willing to kill you to get that chopper down, do you have any idea the damage you caused? What could have happened if you didn’t get control of that chopper when you did?”

“I… Baby, I’m sorry--” You reach your hand out to put on his arm, but he pulls away.

“Don’t talk like that, I’m not your boyfriend right now, I’m your unit chief. Now give me your badge and gun.”

You know you can’t blame him, he had warned you he would do this and you had disobeyed him intentionally. But still, your hands shake as you hand over your gun and badge. You don’t say anything else as you leave the roof, heading down all the way to ground level to get a taxi back to the hotel. And then you wait. You lay on your back and wait for the sound of the door opening and when it does hours later, you push yourself up and sit cross legged on the bed.

“Hi.” You say softly when he walks in.

He spares you a glance before heading to the bathroom without a word. You sigh and fall back on the bed. When you hear the shower running you decide to undress yourself and head in.

He sighs when he realizes you’ve joined him, but doesn’t object when you wrap your arms around his waist and press your face to his back, “I’m sorry.” You murmur.

“You keep saying that, but I know if you were given the opportunity to do it all again, you’d make the same decision.”

You pause at that, “You’re right, I don’t regret what I did, but I’m sorry I had to disobey you to do it.”

He turns in your arms and looks down into your eyes, “Do you not see the problem with that? You did what you did out of revenge. You let your emotions get the best of you, you broke the number one rule of being in the BAU.”

“Those men were prepared to die at all costs, I just didn’t want them to get off that easy. I want them to pay for what they did to you, and this way, at least one of them will. Would you not have done the same? Did you not murder Foyet after he had given himself up because he had killed your wife and threatened your son?”

“Don’t.” He warns.

You scoff, “You have this God complex sometimes, Aaron, and it’s so frustrating. You can do whatever you want because you always have a reason and from your standpoint you’re always right. But whenever one of your toy soldiers falls out of line, it’s a different story--”

“What I did with Foyet did not put myself or civilians at risk.” He says firmly.

“You went in alone.” You said, “You didn’t wait for backup.”

He looks down and shakes his head, “You cannot compare what you did today to the things I’ve done because I would never endanger hundreds of innocent people just for some petty revenge.”

He thinks your eyes water, but it’s difficult to tell in the shower, “It wasn’t petty, Aaron. Not to me.”

He sighs and bends his forehead to yours, bringing both hands up to cradle your face, “Honey, I’m fine. You have to let it go.”

You close your eyes at his touch and lean up just slightly to capture his mouth with yours and as he sighs into your mouth you pull away, just slightly, “If it was me… If I was the one who was kidnapped and tortured in a country thousands of miles away, what would you have done?”

He swallows, and searches your face, “There wouldn’t have been a single protocol that I wouldn’t have broken to get you home safe.”

You nod, “I’m sorry. I understand why you’re upset, I put others in danger. It won’t happen again.”

He kisses you hard on the mouth, “You’re still suspended.”

You hum and he pushes you against the shower wall, his hand coming up to rest on your throat, “Are you going to punish me?” You asked breathlessly.

“Maybe.” He leans down and scrapes his teeth against your neck, hand tightening around your throat just slightly in warning when you squirmed. “I’m still angry with you.” He says, his eyes looking up to meet yours, tightening his grip on your throat again.

You can barely breathe through his grip, “For disobeying you?”

“No.” He says roughly, “For nearly getting yourself killed.”

You manage to swallow, “And that would have upset you?”

The desire immediately fizzles out of his eyes and he drops his hand, “Of course it would, how could you ask that?”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just…” You shrug, “I don’t know, forget it.”

“No,” He puts his hands on your shoulders to keep you from leaving, “Do you really think I wouldn’t have been upset if you died?”

“Aaron,” You say slowly, “You are the love of my life. But Haley was yours. And that’s okay, I don’t expect anything else, but it’s just a fact of our relationship that I love you more than you love me.”

He stares at you blankly for another moment, and then looks away to turn the shower off. He leaves you standing there, wet and naked as he climbs out of the shower and towels himself off silently.

“Aaron.” You say after he’s been silent for so long, stepping out of the shower and wrapping your own towel around yourself.

“You think there can only be one?”

You blink, “What?”

“A person can have more than one love of their life, you think you just get one and done?”

You frown, walking over to the bed and lowering yourself onto it, “Yes, that’s the whole concept.”

He scoffs at you, “I forget how young you are, you think you know everything there is to know about relationships, you have no idea.”

“Don’t patronize me.”

“Me?” He raises his eyebrows, “Don’t patronize you, you’re the one who just tried to convince me you know more about my feelings, about who I love than I do. That’s quite patronizing, wouldn’t you say?”

You look down at your hands, “I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.”

He sighs and walks over to you, crouching in front of you, “Haley was the love of my life, that’s true. But in my head,” He swallows, “There’s the me from before Haley, and there’s the me from after Haley. And you,” He brushes his index finger over the tip of your nose, “Were the person who made the me after Haley believe I deserved love again. You are just as much the love of my life as she is and I have no idea where I’d be right now if I hadn’t met you.”

You finally give him a little bit of a smile, “Probably even more insufferably miserable than you are now.”

He chuckles and you relish in the sound, bringing your fingers up to lightly stroke his cheek, “I’m sorry. For everything today, being reckless, bringing up Haley… I’m sorry, I was out of line.”

“It’s okay,” He says softly, “But you pull a stunt like that again, I’ll fire you.”

“Yes sir.” You say, smirking as you lean in to kiss him, twining your arms around the back of his head. Gently, you tug and pull him back on the bed, on top of you and you feel him smile into your mouth.

Since you’re already naked from the shower, he can’t stop his hands from wandering across your soft skin. His hand grips your thigh, lifting up your leg and allowing him to squeeze your ass. You gasp into his mouth just the way he likes and he bites down on your lower lip. “Aaron,” You whine.

“Did you want something, sweet girl?” He whispers in your ear as his hand slides between your legs.

It’s not fair, he knows when he works you up like this it’s nearly impossible to get a coherent word out of you. You manage only to moan his name again as he slowly, torturously, rubs over you again. “Come on, baby, use your words.” He teases and you can hear the smile in his voice. Bastard.

He runs a single finger down your folds, “Should I make you come with my fingers?” He slowly dips a finger inside you, eating up your reaction as your mouth falls open and a moan claws its way up your throat. “Or,” He pulls his finger out and you glare at him, “I could do it with my mouth.” Your eyes roll back when he licks you and you physically ache at his touch. But then he stops, “Or maybe,” He crawls back up to kiss your mouth and you can taste yourself on his tongue, “I won’t let you come at all since you’ve been such a bad girl.”

“Please,” You whine, “Please, I’ll be good. I promise.”

When he pulls back to look at you, his pupils are blown out and you feel such a rush seeing your effect on him. “We’ll see.” He says softly and without warning thrusts into you. Your back arches against the mattress as you curse. When your eyes meet his, he has a look of such confident satisfaction it nearly makes you come undone right there. “I think,” He pulls out slowly, “I’ll take my time with you tonight.” He reaches up a hand and wraps it around your throat again, “Is this okay?” He says softly, breaking his role for the first time.

You nod, “Please.” You say again, knowing how he loves when you beg. He scans your face once and then he grins again, tightening his hand around your throat until you’re gasping. “Good girl,” He whispers in your ear and slowly pushes into you again, gently biting your ear.

“Baby,” You manage with what little air you’re able to take in. He immediately stops, taking his hands off you, but you shake your head and pull his hand back to your throat, “Harder.”

He sighs and shakes his head, “Fuck,” He curses, wrapping both hands around your throat, “You’re gonna kill me one day.”

And you smirk as he pushes down on your windpipe before slamming his hips into you at full force, you’re rapidly approaching climax, but Aaron can tell. You don’t know how he can tell, but he immediately slows his hips and takes his hands off your throat. You gasp at the sudden release and cough a little bit, “I didn’t tell you you could come.”

“I didn’t,” You say breathlessly, your heart hammering against your ribcage.

“You almost did, and you would have if I didn’t stop.”

“I’m sorry.”

He looks at you and tilts his head to the side as he watches you, “Turn around.” He says calmly.

You hide your smile as you do what you’re told, turning on your knees, letting your forearms and face fall to the pillow. He roughly pulls at your waist, repositioning you and pulling your ass up even farther. He runs a hand over your ass, “Look at you, so pretty for me.” He says softly before pulling back his hand and smacking it hard against your ass. You moan into your pillow and then he’s inside you, a fistful of your hair in his fist.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” He asks breathlessly.

“Yes.”

He slams into you roughly making you yelp, “And you’ll never disobey me again?”

You swallow, “Never.”

He releases your hair and leans over you, sweetly kissing your shoulder and you can feel his smile against your skin, “That’s my sweet girl.” He reaches his arm around your front and begins to massage your clit as he thrusts into you. “Come for me, baby.” He says and speeds up his movements. It’s all the permission you need and you’re immediately unraveling. It takes everything in you not to collapse onto your stomach until he’s also climaxing, brought to his edge by the pulsing of your walls. He swears and collapses fully onto your back, your knees giving way under his weight.

You both lay there like that, him resting on your back in silence for a few moments, catching your breath. Then, Aaron sits up quickly, hands searching your skin, “I’m sorry, baby, did I hurt you?”

“No.” You say, but he presses kisses all over your skin anyway, immediately entering aftercare mode.

You sigh sleepily and pull him to you, wanting to snuggle with him. He obliges, wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling into your neck. “I love you.” He murmurs into your skin, “So much.”

You hum, “I love you. Thank you for not firing me.”

“If you ever end up getting yourself killed I’ll never forgive you.”

You chuckle and kiss his temple, “Noted.”

[pjisskullourful]

𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓽𝓼

➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶➴➵➶

🌼Damiano X reader

part6 of ???    [catchup on:1-4 & 5]

NSFW! 🔥 smuttastic kinky swearing depraved filthy smut for only the most corrupt readers

° Damiano David X female reader insert

° anon request: i was wondering if you could do a corruption kink fic with damiano and a female reader. & for another anon who wanted jealous dami [ask & it shall be given- requests are open]

wordcount:  6,889

Where are you at babygirl?

The text message was almost twenty minutes old, escaping your attention in all of that time. You had left your phone in your bag, under the café table, not expecting to hear from Damiano at all tonight.

He was working - super important Måneskin business of wardrobe fittings for their next gig. You knew that he would be worth the wait, regaling you with tales of all the different colours and silhouettes that designers had brought for their consideration.

But in the meantime, you had made other plans - your fingers rushing to type out this explanation to him. Smoothies. Post-yoga smoothies with Max and a few others. You still working?

Since when do you do yoga?

You shook your head, smiling to yourself as you dropped out of the conversation taking place at your table. Gotta stay flexible for those nights when Daddy wants me to be a pretzel. Used to do it more in highschool. Max has a thing for the cute instructor and thought it’d be easier to ask him to hang in a group of friends, so here I am, supporting my wife.

Cute instructor? Are those her words or yours?

You glanced up to where Sachetan sat on the opposite side of the table, not wasting a second to look your way. He was too absorbed in his conversation with Max, the two of them had barely stopped talking. In terms of aesthetic, (when you bothered to take a look) you supposed that you could see why Max was so taken by him and they would certainly make an attractive couple. But viewing him didn’t awaken any desires in you, you had only described him as cute because of how often she had used that word in trying to recruit you as her wingman. 

Then your mind flashed to the flogger - the Gucci-branded whip hidden in the bottom of your closet. The flogger that hadn’t been unwrapped properly and that your skin was waiting to be subjected to.

Hers. But I see what she means, he’s very surfer dude, broad-shoulders and tan and blue eyes…

You didn’t dedicate any further time to looking at Sachetan, didn’t care to compile any further positive attributes. Instead you stared down at the screen of your phone, waiting for a new message to appear in the conversation, waiting to find out what Damiano was thinking. You could feel your heart rate picking up a little and you licked your lips.

When were you gonna tell me about this cute guy you and Max are sharing smoothies with?

You tried to imagine what he would look like right now, would he be frowning around the cigarette that must have been between his lips? Was his jaw clenched and were his shoulders squared?

I dunno, whenever it seemed relevant, I guess.

Relevant? The next message was a single word, but you hesitated from thinking of a response - something in your gut told you that he wasn’t done. Listen here, little toy. I will decide what is and isn’t relevant. Here is what is definitely relevant- some slob getting to see you in tight activewear, sweating, bending, presenting. You grinned, crossing your legs firmly as you waited for the next message. Then you’re spending time with him afterwards, without telling me beforehand?

I didn’t do this to be naughty. Sorry Master.

That makes it worse. You don’t even know how to behave. His words made you draw in a sharp inhale and you could feel hot lust spreading through your cunt. I’ll have to teach you a lesson.

Yes, please. You felt a little dazed as you looked up to the people sharing your table. You could see how happy Max looked, but it wasn’t real to you. All of your focus was upon the fire swimming in your veins.

Where are you? You gave him the name of the café. You’re gonna get up from the table. You watched as his instructions trickled in, one command per message. You’re gonna go into the bathroom. You’re gonna take your panties off and throw them in the trash.

Your eyes grew wide and it took effort to keep your mouth from dropping open, you couldn’t risk drawing any unwanted attention to yourself. Your thumb hovered over the screen of your phone as you struggled to think up anything to say back. But I’m wearing shorts, like loose and comfy shorts.

You have a safe word. Use it if you’re scared of your friends seeing that filthy pussy.

You excused yourself, getting to your feet and stepping around the table. You didn’t think there was any danger of you flashing anyone in the café (you may have exaggerated the high hemline of your pants). But you feared the sensation of having your bare pussy against the fabric of the sweaty shorts. You were certain this would only draw more of your attention to the area, reminding you that this wasn’t the kind of touch you needed.

He was insisting and you didn’t want to push him too far. You had chosen a dangerous, narrow path - you wanted him to spank and punish you, but you couldn’t be such a brat that he let the frustration lose its charm, throwing his hands in the air and walking away.

Say pumpkin or do it.

There was an available stall and you went inside, locking the door. You exhaled shakily and tried to figure out the best way to play this. You undid the drawstring of your shorts, but paused to send him a single letter.

P

U

You dropped your shorts down, letting them fall to your ankles.

M

P

You stepped out of the shorts then eased your underwear down, the blue fabric darker in some places.

K

You picked your panties up off of the ground and held them up to take a photo, for him to see that they were now entirely separated from your body. IN, but you completed the message further (unwilling to give him the safe word)- the trash?

Yes. In the trash, right now. He responded quickly and, with one hand, you pulled your shorts up again. Now you’re gonna go back to your friends and finish up your smoothie. Then you’re gonna say goodbye and drive home to your place. I’ll meet you there and then you’ll really get taught a lesson.

Yes Master.

While you’re driving, you can think of some lines you can write out.

Yes Master. You sent off before placing your phone into your pocket. There wasn’t anyone else in the ladies room as you crossed to the trash can. You chucked the panties in before quickly grabbing a handful of paper towels, placing it over the top - a second lid to cover the lingerie seemed to be necessary. You went to the basins and washed your hands but kept the cold water running. You cupped your hands under the faucet, gathering enough to splash your face in some attempt at regaining your composure.

After wiping your hands, you checked your phone again. There was another new message from Damiano - Just because you’re being corrupted, doesn’t mean you get to stop behaving for Daddy. 

--- --- ---

You felt a tickle at the back of your bare knee and you shivered, involuntarily inching closer to the wall you were facing. You had no idea of how long you had been here, with only one of the corners of your bedroom to look at. The scratching of your pen and the crinkling of the paper were the only sounds in the room. You willed your thighs to dry, but they were still so damp with your anticipation.

Damiano had liked almost all of your ideas for lines to be written to show him your obedience - your desire to hear his praises had really come back to bite you on the ass over this one. He liked five of them and wanted a few pages of each phrase.

But just writing down words wasn’t enough, not when he saw how terribly you were craving punishment. He had stripped you of your clothes, the only thing on your body was your Chanel collar. He further eliminated any possible distractions by positioning you into a corner. You were not to try to get his attention, you merely had to wait and hope for him to remember to check on you, walking in from the living room. He was relaxing, watching cartoons on your tv, drinking some of your wine and painting his nails. He was operating according to his own schedule, coming to observe your progress whenever the thought occurred to him.

You must have zoned out since his last visit (somewhere after you had passed the halfway point on your third piece of paper), because you didn’t hear his approach. He was just suddenly behind you, the leather fronds tickling your skin.

“How are those lines coming along?” He asked and you kept writing. “I couldn’t tell if you were still writing them ‘cause last time I checked, you weren’t saying it quietly to yourself as you worked…”

“I’m sorry Master.” You said, finishing off a sentence. “I haven’t stopped.”

“Yeah, I can see that. Good work. How ‘bout you finish that page off and then bring it over to me?”

“Yes Daddy, I would love to do that for you.” You said and he pecked you on the cheek, an affectionate hand stroking your back for less than three seconds.

You heard him take only a handful of steps away, sitting down on your bed. You kept scribbling, ignoring the cramp in your hand and elbow, ignoring the way your knees trembled from the strain of having to stand for this long. 

“It is a privilege to be punished by Daddy. It is a privilege to be punished by Daddy.”

“A little louder, kitten…”

“It is a privilege to be punished by Daddy. It is a privilege to be punished by Daddy.”

You breathed a sigh of relief when you reached the end of this page, the last line squeezed in. You turned around, this was the third time you would be presenting lines to him tonight. Your throat was as dry as the surface of Mars as he watched your approach with hungry eyes. There were still two more phrases he wanted committed to your memory through writing.

He accepted the pages from you. "Sit down, have some water." You slumped down onto the mattress, your eyes flying to the leather flogger rested casually on his leg. "And is it?"

You gulped down some water, blinking at him. "Huh?"

He showed the paper to you, pointing out words. "Is it a privilege to be punished?"

"Yes Daddy."

"Lay back, relax." He said, his voice so wonderfully soothing. "You wanna take a break from lines, my little toy?"

"Okay."

You placed your back onto the sheets and he observed your movements, licking his lips. He picked up the whip, wrapping the leather strands around his fingers. He put the handle to your skin, digging it into your thigh to push one away from the other.

You shut your eyes, feeling him ghost the handle higher on your thigh. He had been playing with you on-and-off, seemingly wanting to keep you aware of his lust. Your breath was laboured already, the pants painted with little moans, betraying how needy you felt.

He let the tip bump against your pussy, it was bumped softly on your tight folds, reminding you of someone knocking on a door.

You felt it push into you, the end sliding between your folds and gliding over your clit. The burn that you had been ignoring, the burn of insatiable desire - it bloomed, reaching into your stomach.

He let the rounded tip rub across your clitoris, pulling it up then pushing it back down. You sighed louder, with more whine as he rubbed the inanimate object against you. You could hear how wet your cunt was and you could feel the nerves pulsing harder with every stroke.

He moved down lower, the handle wanting to penetrate you. He rubbed its smooth edge against your slit, easing your entrance open only a little. He allowed your pussylips to grab the handle, making your walls spasm.

You felt the ache spread, taking note of how every part of you reacted when he brought the handle up again. You writhed as he repeated this a handful of times, the ball massaging desperation into more of you. 

He pulled it back before you could get too used to the idea of getting off. Your eyes fluttered open, looking to where he was holding the handle up to his face, very interested in the cum that glistened there. 

Then he moved it over to you, staring intently as he brought the handle to your face. You could smell your hot desires on the leather. He placed it against your bottom lip. “Open.”

You kissed the rounded end, your lips immediately smeared with your own taste. You sucked it into your mouth, you would have much preferred to taste him. But you didn’t shy away from this, drawing more of it between your lips and letting your tongue explore over the ribbed warmth. It was nice to have at least one part of you filled and you worked your lips up-and-down, letting the handle plunge deeper until it hit the back of your throat. You locked your eyes onto his, not blinking as you hollowed your cheeks. You moaned, able to remember how it had felt the last time you had gotten to suck him - remembering how engorged he had been, remembering how he had almost knocked you off of your knees with his enthusiastic thrusting. You wondered if he was thinking the same and you hesitantly reached out for his lap.

“Does that taste like a bad girl?” He asked and you nodded, not releasing the flogger. “Does that taste like a bad girl who still needs to be punished?”

You thought of the two other phrases he had selected to be repeatedly written out. You thought of how amazing it would be to get to come.

But you were unwilling to make a decision, not wanting to miss out on a single thing of what he had planned. You wanted him to make all of the decisions, to guide you with his expertise, to not stop until all of his fantasies were enacted upon your body. Wasn’t the point of being his submissive to have him make all of your decisions for you?

He yanked the flogger out of your mouth, readjusting how he was holding it and bringing the fronds down to lash your stomach. “I don’t ask questions just to hear myself talk, kitten. I ask questions because I expect an answer. So let’s try that again…” You gasped when the end of the flogger was back on your cunt, nestled in against your clitoris. He let you feel more of the fronds, tilting the flogger so that the leather tails brushed over your skin. “Does my kitten still need to be punished?”

Your throat was so tight as he twirled the ball on your clitoris, the tails ghosting over your skin and bringing you an intoxicating tickling, felt throughout your sensitive body. You forced yourself to swallow and answer him. “Y-yes. Punish me more Daddy.”

“More?” He asked, applying more pressure with the handle. “You haven’t learnt your lesson yet? Do you think you might make another pathetic attempt at making me jealous?”

“More.” You gripped his thigh over his pants.

He ran the handle down, giving your clitoris a brief break as he worked down to the wetness awaiting at your entrance. Then he pulled it up again. He fell into a slow rhythm of doing this, of painting your pussy with your arousal.

“Daddy…” You breathed out when you felt him going lower, teasing at your entrance again.

“Yes, little toy?”

You were holding his leg tightly. “I wanna come.”

He was smiling. "I know. Trust me, I know. Even if I was blind and deaf- I would know. You know how?"

You twitched, feeling more of your body being eaten up by the fire. "How?"

"Your smell." He said. "I can smell how bad you want it, I can smell your pussy begging for it." You gasped at the feeling of the handle easing your slit open, resting just inside of your quivering pussy. "I can smell how close you are, I can smell how ready you are to come, to spill this pussy for me."

You whimpered as he slid the handle deeper into you, but you kept clenching, wanting to pull it in more. "Yes Daddy, yes."

He yanked the end of the flogger away from you, your cunt puckering and your whole body twitching. Before you could manage to catch your breath, you were stunned by a slap from the multiple tails on the tensed inside of your thigh. 

"Don't you dare forget that this is a punishment." He slapped the flogger against your other thigh. "And I am not done yet. Until you say your safe word, oh baby, I have so much more planned for you."

You screamed out when the leather fronds slapped down on your stomach. You felt your skin immediately scorch hotter.

"Now, you have more lines to write, don't you?"

You put your hands over your face, trying to compose yourself. Your skin prickled. "Y-yes Master, more lines." He gave you time to catch your breath and you sat up. You retrieved your glass of water. "What do you want me to write next?"

"Hmm, I think it's time for you to write out- I will always obey Daddy."

You gulped down the rest of your water. "Yes Daddy."

"I think your handwriting could be a bit tidier than this time, don't you?"

You nodded, feeling some clarity coming back to you now that this stimulation had passed. "Okay."

You got up, collecting your pen and six pages of lined paper. You walked back to the corner and tried to hold the pen steady in your hand.

I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy.

"Great, I'm gonna go have a few cigarettes. You keep writing." He said. "And if you really wanna make it up to me, you'll keep it as tidy as possible."

"Yes Master."

You were beginning onto your fifth page when you heard him return to the room. You started to quietly read as you wrote.

"I will always obey Daddy. I will…"

"How is it coming along in here?" He asked, coming in close to read over your shoulder.

"...always obey Daddy. I will…"

He pressed his body against your back, his fingers lightly caressing your side. He was so warm and the smell of his cigarettes overwhelmed your senses.

"...Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey…"

He kissed your cheek. "That handwriting looks much better, kitten. Are you ready for another little break?" You nodded your head. "Finish up this page and then you can come over to the bed with me, does that sound good?"

"Are you gonna be nice to me?"

He reached up to the back of your head, securing his hand in your hair and tugging. Your pen stalled as you were forced to look up at the ceiling. You felt his breath on your neck before you heard his voice, raspy and dangerous.

"Do you deserve a nice Daddy who will take care of you? 'Cause I could'a sworn that you still owed me more lines."

"Yes Daddy, more lines."

He gave your hip a squeeze before stepping back. "And read aloud for me again."

"...will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy. I will always obey Daddy."

You reached the bottom of your page and clicked the lid back onto the pen, continuing to face the wall. "I'm finished."

"Alright, bring it over here and I'll see if it's up to my standard."

You handed the pages to him and he patted his lap, inviting you to sit. Before you could, he held his hand up and twirled his finger in the air, indicating for you to turn around. 

You faced away from him, seating yourself on top of him. He had removed his clothes and now you could feel there was only his underwear keeping you from feeling his erection. He wrapped an arm around your middle. You could see the flogger sitting on the bed, within his grasp to be used against you in an instant.

"This looks good…"

You started to gyrate your hips against his lap. "Does it make you happy, Master?"

"I'm happier than I was before."

"Mm-hmm." You pushed down harder, feeling him digging into your ass.

"But I could be happier."

"Let me make you happy Daddy, please. I can make you so fuckin' happy." You felt him sitting up straighter against you, his palm on your skin getting sweaty. "You know I can, please let me. I can be good, please let me be good for you."

"Are you sure that you know how to be good?" He was lifting off of the mattress slightly, pressing more of his body into you.

"Yes, y-yes. Oh, um…" His hand went to your cunt, gently stroking until you could think of nothing else.

"I think I'm gonna have to test to see if this still tastes like the pussy of a bad girl." 

You couldn't keep yourself from moaning, your toes curling a little. "Oh, please, please…"

He rubbed at your clit then put his fingers to your slick slit, still refusing to penetrate you. You whined to yourself as he played with you at this baseline. He took his fingers away and you could see your cum coating his fingers before he placed them into his mouth. You continued to grind against him, unwilling to give up on this friction.

"I dunno, this still tastes like the pussy of a misbehaving little toy. A bad toy, who tried to provoke a response from me and then begged, begged to be punished. Do you think you've learnt the lesson? This being your first time getting a punishment and all, I was prepared to pull out all the stops…" You swore, interrupting his sentence, when you felt his wet hand return to your even wetter pussy. "I was gonna do that for you, so that we could make sure this lesson really sticks." Your breath left you in tiny, whiny moans as he played with your pulsing clitoris again. "Maybe I should have another taste?"

Your shaky exhale turned into an excited giggle when he groped to your slit, testing inside of you. "Yes, just like that. Oh God, yes, taste me just like that Daddy."

You heard him sucking his fingers clean but he didn't give a verdict. You saw the pages go flying through the air as he tossed them over his shoulder. Then he put both of his hands on you and started to turn your body. Your side rested against him and you were able to properly look into his eyes. 

"Just like I thought…" He said as you placed your arms around his neck. "You still taste like a naughty girl who needs to write more lines, who needs to beg more…"

"Yes." You whispered.

"Do you still have some beg left in you?" He had grabbed the flogger and you felt it resting against your leg.

"Yes Master."

Instead of slapping the whip against you, he put his hand between your legs. He watched your face, curious of your reaction as he felt around. 

"Unh…" You whimpered when his fingers pressed again to your throbbing clitoral hood.

He rested his forehead against yours, those eyes so dark that it was intimidating. “Beg me.”

“Please, please, I need it.” You couldn’t raise your voice above a whisper.

You swung into a higher pitch as he inserted two of his fingers into your tight, greedy cunt. He didn’t kiss you, seemingly too entertained by watching you and you let your head roll back, your legs relaxing further apart.

“Yes, oh yes, yes. Fuck, please, please give it to me Daddy. I need it, I need it so bad. Please.” You whined, feeling the beginnings of him massaging your spasming walls.

But he removed his hand. Before you could have time to open your eyes, you felt his fingers jamming into your mouth. You cried out as your cum was pushed over your taste-buds again. It took several loud breaths before you were able to calm yourself enough to begin sucking on the digits, as you knew that he wanted.

“Now, remind me kitten, what were those last lines you were gonna write for me?” He asked, pulling his fingers out of you.

“I am lucky to be owned by Daddy.” You said without hesitation.

“Oh, yes, that’s what you still need to write for me.” He said, his steady hand stroking at the warmth radiating from your cunt again. “And do you feel lucky?”

“Y-y- yes.” That look in his eyes had you nervously stuttering, even before you felt his fingers sinking into your entrance. 

It was three fingers this time and you rocked down into his hand, feeling like you were on the edge of being split open. But you weren’t able to ride him to a promising rhythm.

The fingers were back in your mouth. You fought back your frustrations, licking your cum off of him. He pushed his fingers in deeper, disappearing up to his second knuckle.

“Look at you taking my fingers so well, baby.” He admired, over the sound of your moaning. “You must have an oral fixation- do you like it this much?”

“Mm, I wuh-”

He quickly cut off your garbled words. “What’s that?” He was smiling as he stroked his fingers upon your tongue. “Oh, that’s right, you can’t really talk with your mouth all full like this, huh?” There wasn’t any opportunity for you to respond, with him exploring deeper, his fingertips momentarily brushing the back of your throat. “That’s okay, little toy. You don’t have to talk right now. Why don’t you just keep making those desperate pretty noises for me?” You moaned around his fingers and his smile grew wider, with him licking his lips. “That’s it, just like that. You sound so amazing. Can you feel how hard you’ve got me?”

You nodded, humming in agreement. If your mouth was your own, you would have added that it was all you had been able to think about.

He smacked the skin of your hip with the flogger, making you flinch. “You love it, don’t you?” He pulled his fingers out of your mouth, which remained gaping open. Then he was working your slit open again, those three fingers sliding so effortlessly into your pussy. “You feel so lucky right now, don’t you?” You vocalised another zealous agreement. “Yeah, you’re so lucky to have me owning your holes like this, just with my fingers.”

“God, yes.” You burst out, half-shouting. “Please own me Daddy, please.”

You lamented his fingers leaving you with a breathy moan. The clenching of your cunt now felt like a taunt as you sucked upon his fingers again. You squeezed your eyes shut, letting the frustration take over and you groaned, slamming your heels into the mattress.

“Is something wrong? Oh, were you close?”

You screamed, throwing your hands over your face. “God. Daddy, you know that I am. Please…” You sobbed pathetically. “Puh-lease, please, oh please…” You sat up, grabbing weakly for him. “Please Daddy, oh please, please… I’ll be good, I just- I just- I need it. I need it so bad.” You caressed his face. “Please Damiano, God please.”

He allowed you one kiss onto his lips, then grabbed your hair to pull you away. “You still owe me more lines, don’t you? And bad girls have to earn their orgasms and you were the one who wanted to act up and play at being a bad girl. So now, I’m gonna treat you like a bad, bad, bad girl, until I’m satisfied. Either say your safe word, or have me choose when the lesson is learnt.”

You trembled, your lungs still desperate for air. “You’re right. Please let me finish my punishment.”

“Okay, I’ll teach you how to behave.” He said and you could see the fire in his eyes. “But you don’t have to stand anymore, no more naughty corner for you.”

You sighed out a fragment of this relief. “Thank you.”

You winced when he slapped the whip against the small of your back. “Get your pen and your papers. And you’re gonna lay down right here, pretty little ass in the air and we can finish your punishment.”

“Yes Daddy.”

You picked up the pen and a bundle of blank paper, moving up to the pillows. You laid your chest down on the mattress, propping up on your elbows and trying to find a comfortable way to complete this task.

“I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to…” There was a lump in your throat but you swallowed and endeavoured to keep reading as you wrote. “...be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to be owned by Daddy.” You tried to keep your pen strokes consistent and neat. “I am lucky to be owned by Daddy, I am lucky to be owned…”

He smacked the tails of the flogger against your butt. “I believe that I said ass in the air…” You shifted to raise your pelvis off of the bed. “Did I stutter? Did I speak in a language you didn’t understand? Would you like me to repeat myself?” You braced your knees onto the mattress, arching your back all the more when he whipped you again. “Pretty little ass in the air.”

“Yes.” You said, licking your lips.

“I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I…”

He tickled the strands of the flogger across your back as he laid down alongside you, watching you with a smile.

He hooked a finger through your collar, pulling it taut against one side of your neck.

"I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to be…"

He pressed the tip of the handle into the skin of your butt cheek as you were turning the first page over, starting to fill the other side. 

"Very neat, very nice. I guess you can learn a lesson, eh?" He said, moving the handle to the inside of your thigh.

"Yes."

He brought the rounded tip of the handle against your cunt, holding it there and letting it test at the wetness you were still so ready to give him. 

"He was nothing." You had explained the situation to him straight away, letting him know that you had just been teasing and that you had no interest in Sachetan - you were willing to drop the class, if Damiano so desired. He told you that this little game wasn't cute, derailing any kind of discussion by telling you that if you were going to behave like a brat, then he would punish you like a brat.

"I wouldn't… I would never…" You readjusted your grip on the pen. "Yours is the only name I want on my lips, ever. I wouldn't want anyone else and I- oh…"

He interrupted you by pushing the tip into you, coming into your entrance. "I know babygirl, trust that I know."

You nodded, it was a struggle to concentrate on one word on the page after another. "I just wanted to make sure, 'cause you're the… f-f-fuck…" You tried to hold onto this train of thought, even as you felt your cunt stretching, as he pushed more of the handle inside of you. "You're the most-" Your chin dropped and your eyes rolled back. "God, you're just the most amazing man and I- oh shit, fuck. Daddy, shit, I've got…" You relaxed the hand that you had been scrunching the paper into. "I have to finish my lines. And I want to, I'm gonna do it." You had to shake your head to regain a sliver of clarity. "I'm gonna do it, 'cause I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to…"

"I know you can multitask, kitten. I've seen it, you know how to suck cock and play with balls at the same time." He started to jerk the handle in, then out, then back in, massaging your cunt. "You know how to masturbate with one hand and hold your phone with the other, to carry on a conversation at the same time. Don't sell your skillset short."

Your handwriting was getting shakier, less consistent. "Oh God, Daddy, I- oh fuck. You've got me so close and I… ah. I have to do these lines for you."

He was smirking. "I'm not trying to stop you." He put a hand to your breast, grabbing at the nipple. "I would love for you to keep writing."

Your joints were shaking uncontrollably. "...Daddy. I am lucky to be owned by Daddy. I am lucky to be owned by Daddy.”

He slid his body underneath yours, not disturbing where your page was resting. But you jabbed your pen straight through the paper when he sucked one of your nipples between his lips. You let out a long and loud groan, ready to push back into the flogger to secure more of it into your cunt.

“Oh God, oh Damiano…” You put your hand into his hair as he applied unendurable pressure to your hardened nub. “I think I’m gonna pass out.” Your vision had started to cloud over. "Shit, I… ah."

He stroked your back. "Don't be silly, you're not gonna pass out. So dramatic."

"I- uh- oh fuck. Um, I… I am lucky to be owned-..." You started to giggle, your heart fluttering as the tingles flooded your body. "Daddy…"

"You wanna finish up that page for me?" He asked, tugging the handle of the flogger out of you. 

"Um, well I- I kinda fucked it." You held the page so that he could see the hole.

He laughed as well. "Oops. You know, if I were a mean dom- I would make you start a fresh page and then write an extra page on top of that." He took the page from your hand and balled it up into his hand, winking at you. "But I am not a mean dom…" He threw the paper away and put his hands onto your back. "I am a lustful, lustful dom.

"And I've been smelling that pussy for too long without fucking it. My mouth is absolutely watering." He grabbed your ass and brought your body down to his with a slap.

"Yes Daddy, give it to me, please."

He flipped both of you over, pinning your back to the mattress and pressing his body into yours. 

You were breathless before his lips met yours. All of the passion you had been holding back, it overflowed and you held him tightly to you. Your legs parted to accommodate him, you felt that you couldn't get him close enough. You wanted to drown in his body, in his lust, to make up for the hours spent resisting him, the hours spent building to this.

You were moaning, noisily struggling for breath as soon as his length was buried into you. You melted for him, welcoming all of his length into your dripping cunt.

When his hips met yours, you gave a sigh of relief. You had been existing separately from him - while he played the role of punisher, you had been left as a victim to his unpredictable whims. But now you were finally on the same wavelength.

You could connect with him, no more punishments, no more words necessary to find the synergy. He knew what you needed and knew how to give it to you.

"Yes, yes…" You whimpered, your body rocking with his.

He rolled his body slowly, his movements wonderfully smooth, due to his familiarity with your body. He found the right way to explore you, to massage your cunt with his length. His breath grew shallower as he kept his eyes locked onto your face.

"Oh Damiano, ah…" Your nails had begun to dig into his skin and you raised your hips to meet every thrust. "I love it when you fuck me." You could feel his hold on your thigh gain strength. "I love it when you own me, 'cause I'm yours." Each stroke brought more spasming from your already-tight cunt. "I'm so yours." You drew in a sharp breath. "Fuck me like I'm yours, fuck me like you're always gonna own me."

He was picking up speed, securing both of his hands around the rungs of the headboard. His body rubbed against yours and you could feel that wonderful friction. "Yes kitten, unh… fuck, fuck…"

He purred, holding steady to his pacing, even when you started to writhe beneath him. Your entire body was pulsing and you could feel fire coursing through your veins. The sensitivities ran so deep, knocking against your core and ready to drive you crazy. Your toes were curling and soon your voice was competing with his.

"Oh God, fuck me. Yes, fuck me Daddy. Oh, ah…" You twitched up into him and he was moving faster again. "Ah, oh yes, yes, yes."

His unrelenting rhythm was stealing all of his breath and you could see the cords on his neck straining. "Take all of it. You- uh… you're so tight." He sighed, for a moment silenced and the slapping of his skin against yours (that persistent, unashamedly erotic tap, tap, tap, tap, tap) was the loudest sound in the room. "It feels like I've been waiting so… oh, waiting so long to come in you and- uh, fuck- I don't wanna wait any longer."

"Yes, don't wait." You were shuddering against him, burying your head in his chest as you felt the intensity taking you down. 

"Ah… hu…" His breaths were marked with little moans, inarticulate cries.

"Please Daddy, please." The whining tone in your voice was only getting stronger. "Oh God…"

His body shuddered violently and for a moment you thought he was going to collapse, falling out of his pace. But then he started in stronger again. "I'm gonna- yes… I'm gonna come. Oh, ye- yes."

You were floored by his jerking, your hips snapping in swift response to his. Your vision clouded over and your pussy was so tight around him, demanding all of his lust.

Shocks flooded through you and you couldn't hold in the screams. "Ah- ah, fuck. Oh Dami, Dami… yes."

"Hm, uh." His movements had lost their elegance, their practiced flair, but it didn't matter anymore. "Fuck- mm, ah. Ah, oh."

"Yes Daddy." You whined before your hips slapped into his and you succumbed to the sensitive tingles that wanted to rule your body.

His strangled noises next to your ear were the only things you knew of the world as you disappeared into your orgasm. He pushed you over the edge again-and-again, drawing his own orgasm out from your cunt, until he was a shuddering mess.

Everything slowed as you opened your eyes, changing the way you were holding him. You moved your arms into an embrace, hugging his sweat-drenched body to yours. He collapsed onto you and you didn't dare to move, instead you just allowed the aftershocks to play out.

He was still panting out quick breaths through his mouth as he moved off of you, lying down beside you on the mattress. "Oh… how do you feel?"

You rolled onto your side and picked up his hand, kissing the back of it. "I love you. And that was- that was a whole lot, but God, it was so amazing. You really let me have it and I… thank you."

He was smiling as he rolled to face you. "Thank you babygirl. I've never punished anyone like that before and you really took it- you took it all like a pro." He laughed a little. "I was kinda worried I was gonna run out of ideas."

"No way."

"Yes, it's true." He said, licking his lips as he leant in closer. "But you kept inspiring me. I love you."

You smiled, lifting up to put your lips to his. Slowly, tenderly he kissed you back - the two of you enjoying this accomplishment together as the rest of the world faded away entirely.

“And it’s all true.” You broke up your sentences, kissing him quickly. “It is a privilege to be punished by you and I do love being taught how to behave…”His smile was growing wider with each kiss. “I am lucky to be owned by you…” You pulled back far less after this kiss. “But I’m so much luckier to be loved by you.”

If you like my writing, feel free to tip me. I am open to both commissions & requests, commissions get priority & the most input

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readmore of this series

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Hot Girl Summer

Summary: Dean and the reader are enjoying a day at the beach when Dean notices the reader is still dressed on the scorching hot summer day...

Pairing: Dean x reader

Square: Positive Body Image

Word Count: 1,300ish

Warnings: language, body insecurities

A/N: Written for @supernatural-jackles​​ Tell Me A Story bingo!

______

“How are you not boiling?” asked Dean. He was seated next to you in his lawn chair on the lake shore beach. Shirt off, swim trunks pushed up some, sweat covering his face behind his sunglasses and baseball cap. He grabbed his beer from the cooler between you, chugging it down. “Want to dip in the water to cool off for a minute?”

“Go ahead. I gotta run to the bathroom,” you said.

“Pee in the lake.”

“Dean.”

“I’ve already peed in the lake today.”

“Oh my God.”

“You think none of those other people out in the water have peed in it? At least half of them, I guarantee it.”

“Dean. You’re being gross.”

“At least I’m not being silly.”

“About wanting to use a hygienic bathroom?”

“First off, it’s a county park bathroom. Taking a piss in the parking lot would be more hygienic. Second, you know exactly what I’m talking about.” You narrowed your eyes behind your sunglasses, Dean reaching a hand over, resting it on your t-shirt. “Would you take off your shirt and shorts and go swimming with me? Please?”

“There are people here,” you said quietly.

“Sweetheart.”

“I don’t look like that,” you said, nodding at the woman that stood from her chair nearby and started to walk into the water, wearing a tiny red bikini.

“I’d be concerned if you did. I might think you were a shifter or something.”

“Dean.”

“Y/N. Do I have six pack abs?” he asked, poking his stomach.

“You’re normal and muscular. Your thighs are smaller than mine.”

“Your arms are smaller than mine,” he said. You rolled your eyes, Dean sliding his hand down to yours. “Your hands are smaller than mine. Why does it matter about being smaller?”

“Because that’s what’s pretty and I don’t want people looking at me all day.”

“Because you haven’t been obsessively staring at every single woman on this beach all morning yourself. Whether they’re a size zero or twenty, you’ve stared at every single one and they’ve stared at you already. They’re already looking so why give a fuck?”

“It’s just...some days I think I look great and others I don’t and today is one of those ones where I don’t. I just don’t want someone staring at my stomach or hips or thighs or boobs or whatever and saying stuff. It’s always...it’s always the clothes look good on the model or the bikini looks good on the mannequin when I buy it and then I just…”

Dean squeezed your hand before resting it on your thigh. 

“You don’t have to convince me of anything sweetheart. I know what I see in you. I know what I see and what I love. I know I can’t tell you how attractive I find you and suddenly you’ll feel that way about yourself. I don’t like me sometimes. Most of the time. But I get shoved in my face how to be a man more than what I should look like so I don’t think I’ll ever know to the extent women get it. I just want to go swimming with my girl and have some fun today, not solve both our body insecurities in one discussion. If you want to wear your shirt and shorts that’s okay. I’d like it if we could just have fun today and not sit here baking in the sun fretting the whole day.”

“Me too,” you said quietly. You took off your sunglasses, Dean ditching his and his hat on top of the cooler. “Let me put some more sunscreen on your shoulders first.”

You grabbed the bottle and squirted some of the cool liquid on his back, Dean humming as you rubbed it in.

“Your freckles have really come out today already,” you said.

“You’re gonna have to play your counting game tonight,” he chuckled. You wiped the excess down his back and arms, Dean standing as you set the bottle down. He held out a hand for yours but you looked down at yourself instead.

Two hours you’d already spent spinning your wheels, nitpicking your body, wondering why you couldn’t fit in smaller shorts. Wondering why you took up more space than you thought you should. You looked to the right, a woman in a white bandeau top and floral high waisted cheeky bottoms. She looked about your height, your size. But she had a big smile on her face, looked so fucking good and pretty. The guy she was with wasn’t hiding the fact of how he was openly taking her in, a big smirk on his face. The girl seated a ways back in a different group of people wasn’t hiding it either.

“Would you put some more on me?” you asked, glancing at the bottle.

“Sure,” said Dean. You pushed down your shorts as he picked it up, kicking them off and leaving them on your chair. Your shirt came off next and you adjusted your bottoms some as Dean squirted the sunscreen into his hand. “Let me get your chest so you don’t burn.”

“Don’t try to cop a feel,” you teased, hating how it sounded a little forced.

“Don’t tempt me,” he chuckled. You looked past him as he made sure to get the newly uncovered spots, Dean’s lips brushing your ear after a moment. “Okay?”

“I’m okay. Let’s go cool off, Dean.”

“That’s a cute shirt,” said Dean late that night as you were out to dinner at a place near the lake and your cabin you were renting. He took a bite of his chicken sandwich and hummed. “Is it new?”

“Bought it awhile ago,” you said. It was a tube top with a bottom that flowed out at the hips and had a cutout in the back, showing off more skin than you normally were comfortable with.

“I like it,” he said, letting out a quiet burp. “Wanna get this ice cream thing for dessert? It’s still pretty warm out.”

“Sure,” you said, surprised to see a dirty glare cross Dean’s face. You spun around when you saw he was looking behind you. Two guys were leaving the bar area for a table, both of them staring at what you guessed was your back. You sighed, Dean grumbling to himself. “Dean. Let it go.”

“You’re not meat,” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

“The tall one’s been checking you out from the second he got in.” Dean leaned over and kissed you, shooting the guy a warning glance. 

“I think he got the message,” you said.

“Better have,” he mumbled. “See? The only the one that hasn’t thought you were hot this whole time is you.”

“Well...maybe I don’t think I’m hot but maybe I’ll be less nervous to show some skin, wear what I want to wear.”

“You’re still gonna wear my shirts though right?”

“Obviously.”

“Good cause that shit is extra hot. Like you in that dark henley and those shorts fucks me up in a good way.”

“I could just wear nothing at all?” you teased. He grinned, leaning closer across the table. “That’ll be second dessert.”

“Yes it will,” he hummed. He pecked a quick kiss to your lips, slipping back into his seat. “Have fun today?”

“A lot of fun,” you said. “After I got out of my head.”

“Good,” he said quietly. You reached over the table and grabbed his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Dessert?”

“Let’s make it to go,” you said. “Save it for after your other dessert.”

“Sounds perfect to me sweetheart.”

_________

[shycoconutt]

I Found My Light (Kakashi x Reader)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

A/n: Sound the alarms! It’s my first ever writing post! I’ve had this written for a while tbh, and I feel like I’m ready to start getting into this.

Summary: A late-night walk turns into a rekindled friendship.

Word Count: 2300

Warnings: fem!reader, SFW (but might not be later lol)

You opened your eyes for what seemed like the thousandth time tonight. Staring at the white ceiling, you sighed. Sleep seemed to evade you recently, a side effect of the recent dreariness of your life. You found yourself living the same days over and over again. Because of this, the line between day and night started to fade.

The moon was full tonight, you noticed as it shined brightly through your open window. It was the perfect temperature out, warm but chilly enough to feel comfortable wrapped in your blankets. You love listening to the occasional sounds that occurred outside, the noise of leaves rustling in the wind being your favorite.

Your gaze left the moon and landed back on your ceiling. Why is something as simple as sleeping so hard? Gods, all you wanted was an escape. With a huff, you pushed the covers off of you and sat up from your lying position. Trying to force yourself to sleep would do more harm than good right now.

You make your way to your dresser and pull out your favorite pair of black joggers. You love them because they are tight on your ankles, loose on your legs, and have a cinched band at the waist. They are perfect for any lazy day. You slip them on over your underwear, you never go to bed with pants on, and exchange your sleep shirt for a cropped black hoodie made from the same soft, elastic material as your pants.

You turn to face your large standing mirror in the corner of the room to assess your appearance. The all-black look was your favorite, especially since it will help you blend into the night. Your hair was a mess, so you decided to put it up in a loose bun on the top of your head and pull out some strands to frame your face. It felt good to not look so polished and put together. Your jonin uniform was not the most comfortable piece of clothing, especially with the way it hit your figure.

You walked out of your bedroom and across the kitchen to the front door of your apartment. One foot after the other, you slide into your sandals and grab the key to your apartment hanging on the hook next to you. With that, you leave your apartment and head out into the night.

You walked the streets of Konoha at a gingerly pace. It was probably around 3 a.m. at this point, and there wasn’t a single soul on the street with you. You make your way past the line of shops on the main street, including your favorite bakery where you'd treat yourself to a lemon square after coming back from a long mission. You thought about that lemon square a lot when you were out risking your life, embarrassingly enough.

A couple of turns later and you found yourself heading towards your favorite place in all of Konoha, a little area of woods towards the perimeter that contained this amazing koi pond. Although it was nighttime and the fish wouldn’t be as active, you still want to check to see if you can watch any. To your surprise, your favorite koi, who you nicknamed “Nishi'', was out and swimming around by himself. You sit criss-cross in the grass and watch as he glides through the calm water, almost putting you in trance. Nishi didn’t look or act like the others; He was black with white, almost silver-looking spots and he was less frantic in nature. You sway from side to side as you watch him, thinking to yourself about how you would like to be more like Nishi.

“You look cute watching the koi.” You heard a soft, yet unwavering voice declare behind you.

“Holy sh-” You almost jump out of your pants at the unexpected presence. Surprised, you quickly turn your head around to see who’s voice that could possibly be. To your disbelief, there lies a figure perched up by a tree a couple yards away from you. Their feet were crossed, legs extended, one hand in the pocket of their pants, the other holding up what looks like a copy of Icha-Icha, head turned towards you, and wild hair moving with each passing breeze. How did I not notice him?

“Oh I’m sorry (y/n), I didn’t mean to startle you. I figured you knew I was here because you walked right past me.” He brought his hand up to scratch the back of his head and let out a small chuckle. “Guess I should have made my presence known right away.”

Still in disbelief, you get up and slowly make your way towards the figure, stepping into the shadow of the tree to see him more clearly. As you approached you immediately recognized the silver-haired jonin.

“Kakashi?” You say confused. “What are you doing out here? It’s late.”

“I could ask you the same thing.” He states, closing his book and setting it down next to him on the grass. He looked different. He looked… quite hot actually. The jonin uniform you usually saw him in was traded for a pair of comfortable-looking grey sweatpants and a tight, black tank top that connected to his mask. He wasn’t wearing his headband either, just keeping his left sharingan eye shut in a permanent wink. As you observed him, you couldn’t help but notice that he was doing the same to you.

“I suppose you're right.” You smirk and let out a small chuckle. “I couldn’t sleep so I figured that if I was up I should take a walk around the village to clear my head. This is my favorite spot, so I guess I just naturally ended up here.” You exclaimed, still standing in front of him.

“It looks like you and I are having the same issue,” he states plainly, “I came out here a little while ago after tossing in my bed for an hour. I hate trying to force myself to sleep; It’s a battle I never seem to win.” His eyes averted your gaze and moved to his now empty hands in his lap. You couldn’t help but notice a hint of pain in his voice and it tugged at your heartstrings.

You know about the things Kakashi has been through, as it was pretty common knowledge to all jonin in your mutual age group. You were pretty close with his friends, Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma, but Kakashi always seemed to keep everyone at an arm’s length. He also was an Anbu for ten years, which didn’t help the disconnect either. Fortunately, he was relieved from his Anbu position a couple weeks ago, and gradually you have been seeing him a bit more here and there. Though, this is the first time you are able to have a conversation with him in what seems like forever.

“Well,” you sighed, “I guess we have lost the battle together. We must be pretty shitty jonin.” You stated flatly.

Kakashi squinted his eyes and you both laughed. You couldn’t help but take a mental picture of his face at this moment. You really enjoy seeing him happy, as it makes you happy too.

You can’t kid yourself, having a chance to talk with Kakashi alone feels like such a treat. Little genin (y/n) would be ecstatic right now. Of course you had a crush on him back then, who didn’t?

“You’ve always had a natural talent for connecting with people,” Kakashi mused, “I haven’t talked to you since we were teenagers, and here I am laughing with you like we’re long-time friends.”

You could feel your eyebrows furrow at that statement. Yeah sure, you weren’t at his apartment every week for Sunday brunch, but you did have a history.

“Kakashi,” you started, “You are my long-time friend. Just because we drifted apart doesn’t mean I don’t care about you. To be honest, I was relieved when I found out you were no longer going to be a member of the Anbu. It wasn’t good for you.” You stepped closer and sat down next to him, leaning back on the tree stump. The grass felt cool under you, sending a small shiver up your body.

“I suppose you’re right,” Kakashi stated, quoting your words from earlier. “It amazes me that none of you gave up on me. I feel like I am undeserving of everyone’s effort.” You were baffled by his honesty; Kakashi wasn’t known to be much of an open book. It upsets you so much that he feels this way as you couldn’t imagine not caring about him or any of your other comrades in the village. The faces of your closest friends flashed through your mind and you grimaced at the thought of losing them.

Not knowing if you should, you felt compelled to reach over and hold Kakashi’s hand in yours. It's cold compared to the warmth spreading from your fingertips. Hmm, I wonder how long he has been out here. Giving his hand a small squeeze, you look at him in his onyx eye. “Trust me, Kakashi. You are deserving. You are deserving of a great life and people who care about you. I know the world may seem dark, but I promise that a light is always glowing. No matter how small or dim, it’s there.”

You stare at each other in silence for a moment before he changes the position of his hand and intertwines his fingers in yours. The change was small, but it ignites a feeling in your stomach you couldn’t describe. Slowly, you felt your cheeks flush and you turned your face to look towards the sky in hopes he wouldn’t notice. You knew this action was him telling you that he accepts your words, and thanks you for them.

You spent the next hour sitting under the tree together, you looking up at the stars and him looking at you. Your intertwined hands fell between your bodies, resting on the cool grass. You felt him start to graze the back of your hand with his thumb, sending a tingling sensation up your arm. It felt so good to be touched by him, even in such an innocent manner.

A strong breeze ran through the air and hit you suddenly. You began to shiver at the quick change in temperature, realizing that you should have dressed warmer if you were going to be out this long. Yet, you couldn’t have anticipated the situation you are currently in.

“Are you cold?” Kakashi questioned with a hint of concern.

“Yeah a little bit,” you answered honestly, “but I don’t want to go back home. I’m not really tired yet.” Truthfully, you didn’t want this little moment of shared bliss to end. You started to feel like you found your escape, and you refused to be torn away from it so soon.

“Neither do I,” he confessed, “Come here.” He released his hand from yours and slid his position higher up on the side of the tree. He then spread his legs and patted the ground in between, inviting you to sit.

You felt your face get hot again, as the position he was offering you was a very intimate gesture. There was absolutely no way you could refuse his offer. One, because you were freezing and, two, young (y/n) would never forgive you.

You got up and sat down carefully between his thighs, leaning until your back met his chest. He then wrapped both of his arms around you, one around your shoulders and the other around your waist with his hand resting on your stomach. The outsides of your legs met the insides of his and you felt an immediate warmth there. Lastly, your head tilted back and rested upon his left shoulder, with his face nuzzled against your temple. You both fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, no part of you feeling any discomfort against his strong body. Engulfed in his smell and warmth, for the first time in a while you felt completely relaxed.

“Thank you, Kakashi.” You looked up at him with a warm smile.

“Anytime.” He breathed, voice muffled by your hair. You wondered if he truly meant that. I mean, after all, this is the first time you have interacted in a while. Yet, the connection you felt towards him was unquestionable.

Does he feel the way I feel?

“Hey,” you began, “are you tired at all?”

He flexed his arms and held you closer to his chest. “Not really,” he answered, “I’m enjoying this moment too much to be tired.” You smiled, and there was a pause.

“Isn’t this odd?” you questioned again.

“What? You and I snuggled under a tree in a random corner of the village alone at 4 a.m. after we haven’t interacted with each other in years?” he questioned sarcastically, “Not at all.”

“Kakashi!,” you laughed, gently nudging your elbow into his ribs as he laughed along with you.

“Yeah it’s a little odd,” he answered honestly, “but I’m not going to question it. I found my light, and now I’m enjoying it.” He nuzzled his face into your hair and breathed deeply.

Completely and utterly relaxed, you let yourself succumb to the heaviness of your eyelids. Truthfully, this has felt like the longest day in the world and you are happy to end it this way. The sound of Kakashi’s breathing and the rise and fall of his chest acted as your personal sleep machine. It’s priceless.

Before you completely drift off, you swear you could feel the soft, pillowiness of Kakashi’s lips graze the skin of your temple, a soft hum escaping from them.

“Goodnight, (y/n)”

~~~

Queue Hilary Duff’s “What Dreams Are Made Of”. This kind of feels like the beginning of something. Should I continue? Idk if my writing is even good. If you read this, PLEASE let me know if you have any feedback. Again, this is my first story and I would greatly appreciate any feedback, advice, suggestions, etc.! I can’t believe I’m uploading, ah! - Klara

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Sixty Six Percent [Spencer x fem! Reader]

A/N - This is for my “girls night out” square on my CM bingo card for @cmbingo​, which you can find the masterlist for here. Also loosely based off this prompt I’ve been wanting to write for a while - Our best friends are that awful “cute” couple that make out in public and call each other “sweetie” and “sugar” and god they’re awful, let’s talk about how awful they are – develops into “oh we’re that awful couple now”. Includes some Galvez and is set circa season 14 ish. Bottom right image taken from Kirsten’s Instagram. 

CW - not much really - just drinking and fluff.

In which girls night takes an unexpected turn when it coincides with boys night.

WC: 2.2K

Find my full Masterlist here.

Western’s bar in DC on a Friday night had been a must for girls night out. It was known for its cheap drinks, loud music and packed dance floor. Everything you and the girls were looking for. 

When your closest friends worked for the FBI, arranging girls night was always a near impossible feat. You’d lost count of how many times Penelope, Emily, JJ and Tara had to bail on your plans because another case had come up. 

You understood, you’d been best friends with Penelope for years now and you appreciated their schedules were hectic but you were always left downtrodden when they’d had to cancel again. 

But finally after weeks of cancellations and rescheduling, tonight they had been free for girls night. 

Shots were flowing and you all showed off your moves on the dance floor. You and Tara being the only single ones of the group danced with a few men but it was all harmless flirting, nothing serious. 

You weren’t looking to take someone home tonight. 

It was nearing midnight and you had all taken a break from dancing to rehydrate with vodka. You noticed Penelope’s eyes shift away from the girls across the room and her perfectly sculpted eyebrows knitted together.

“What is it, Pen?” You asked her, having to speak loudly to be heard over the music. 

“We can’t just have one night.” She rolled her eyes but then her face broke out into a large smile. “Excuse me.” And with that she sauntered off.

Your gaze followed where she had gone to see her throwing herself into the arms of her boyfriend, Luke Alvez. 

You chuckled to yourself, nudging Emily in the arm.

“They just can’t stay away from each other can they?” You laughed.

“It’s disgusting really.” Emily also laughed. 

“Looks like they're having a boys night. We should probably go and say hi.” JJ shrugged.

“I suppose it would be rude not to.” Tara agreed.

The four of you followed in Penelope’s footsteps across the room. You’d met most of the team over the years thanks to Penelope and you said your hellos to Luke, Rossi and Matt. 

The last man you came to had incredible hazel eyes, which even in the dim lighting of the bar you could see were flecked with gold. He had a light stubble on his cheeks and untamed curls you had a sudden desire to run your fingers through. 

Spencer Reid, you assumed. You’d heard of him countless times but for whatever reason the two of you had never met. You got the impression he avoided social situations in lieu of more academic pursuits. 

You’d heard stories of his time in prison and looking at him now it struck you that there was a hint of sadness in those hazel eyes and you assumed that must be why. 

“You must be Spencer.” You smiled a little shyly at him. You had no idea he’d be so attractive. “I’m Y/N.”

He smiled at you but you noticed it was stifled. Like he knew the fact you knew his name meant you knew what had happened to him.

“Yes, I’m Spencer. I’ve heard a lot about you Y/N, I can’t believe we’ve never met before.” Despite the sadness about him, his eyes seemed to sparkle as they looked at you and it made you feel hot under the collar. 

“Me either.” You couldn’t help but beam, had Penelope been hiding him from you? He was just your type. 

You turned to look at your friends briefly but were surprised to find them gone. Tara, Emily, JJ and Matt were now dancing in the middle of the floor while Rossi propped up the bar, sipping his single malt. 

A few feet from where you were standing with Spencer, Luke and Penelope were swapping saliva in an extremely NC-17 fashion. 

He had his hands on her voluptuous backside and her fingers were clawing at his shirt. 

“Are they always like this?” You turned back to Spencer with a grimace.

He shrugged.

“Not always but often enough not to be phased by it anymore.” He chucked a little. 

“Young love.” You laughed too. 

“They’re actually pretty cute when they aren’t pushing the boundaries of public displays of affection.” 

“Pen always refers to him as bunny, it makes me sick.” You laughed harder.

“Oh gosh.” Spencer pulled a face. “They flirt over the phone on cases all the time. It takes forever to get an answer out of Garcia because they have to flirt in every single call.”

“I bet he hasn’t described to you their sex life in graphic detail. Because Penelope has.” You shudder a little. “I know more about Luke’s anatomy than I ever needed to know.”

“That’s...that’s unfortunate.” Spencer laughed. 

“Yeah that’s one way to put it.” 

“Can I buy you a drink?” His smile was much less sad now, and more genuine as he looked at you. The way he was smiling at you made you feel weak. 

“That would be really nice.” You nodded. 

You followed Spencer to the bar where he ordered you both a drink and paid. He then led you over to a small booth away from the chaos where you sat next to him to allow you to be able to converse over the music. At least that’s what you told yourself.

It had nothing to do with the fact you wanted to be close to him. Absolutely nothing. 

“One time we were on a case in Boston and I called Garcia and for whatever reason she thought I was Luke and she started graphically describing what she was going to do to me, Luke when I got home. It was...disturbing to say the least.” 

“Oh wow. That sounds...horrible.” You laughed. 

“I’ve not been able to properly look her in the eye since.” Spencer pulled a face.

“They are the definition of sickening. But they’re happy. I guess that’s all that matters.” You shrugged, sipping your drink. “They’re lucky, one night stands have never worked out that well for me.” 

“No?” Spencer looked inquisitive. “I’ve never had one.”

“Really?” You raised an eyebrow at him. “I thought everyone had had at least one.”

“Statistically only sixty six percent of American’s have had a one night stand before.” 

“I forgot Penelope told me you were a genius.” You laughed again. “That’s a surprisingly low number.” 

“It’s still over two hundred and sixteen million people.” he didn’t even look as though he had to think to know something like that. You were impressed and felt slightly inadequate in comparison to him.

“Oh, in that case I suppose it is a lot.” you didn’t really know what you could say to that. “Can I ask why you’ve never had a one night stand?”

Spencer contemplated his answer this time. Facts and statistics rolled off his tongue but when he had to speak of personal things it often took him a moment to find the right thing to say.

“I suppose I’m a romantic at heart. One night stands seem kind of...disheartening to me. I’m not saying never but I’ve never felt the need thus far in my life.”

“See I don’t agree.” you turned in your seat so you could look at him properly. This close you could really see his incredible bone structure, high cheekbones and a sharp jawline. You wanted to run your fingertips over the delicate curves of his face, kiss the stubble on his soft skin and make your way to those plump lips of his. “Being single is hard, especially when your best friend is Penelope who is and is all loved up with Alvez. One night stands provide a little solace from the loneliness I guess.” you shrugged, trying not to sound like you were throwing a pity party for yourself. 

“But isn’t it just lonely all over again when it's over?” Spencer leaned closer to you and your eyes were fixated on his lips. 

“I don’t know.” mirroring him, you leaned closer. “We could always find out.” you smirked at him. You had just met him and you knew being so brazenly flirtatious could be dangerous territory. But you’d gone all these years without ever crossing paths so you supposed if this went south and Spencer rebuffed you then avoiding him wouldn’t be that difficult. 

His facial expression didn’t change so you had no idea what he was thinking or how he had taken your advances. He leaned even closer and your eyes were still locked on his lips.

“Are you asking me to come home with you Y/N?” his eyes were dark, lust perhaps? 

“I’m asking you to join the sixty six percent Spencer.” 

For a few long seconds neither of you moved or spoke. Spencer eyes fell over you, lingering longer on your lips. You shifted a little in your seat feeling hot under his intense gaze. He leaned even closer and you thought he was about to kiss you, but just as he inched towards you, a voice snapped you back to reality.

“Y/N there you are!” it was Emily. “And Spence, hey.” 

“Hi Emily, what’s up?” you would never forgive her if she had gotten in the way of Spencer kissing you.

“Come and dance, it's girls night!” she tugged your arm, pulling you so you were on your feet. 

Spencer shuffled out of the booth behind you. As Emily started dragging you towards the dancefloor, he came close to your ear and whispered “I’ll come and find you later.” and then he headed over towards Rossi who was still propping up the bar.

You danced with the girls for hours, even Penelope when she came up for air and pried herself away from Luke for more than a few seconds. The drinks kept flowing, laughter was aplenty; it was a great night all round. It had been worth waiting for.

Around three am you and the girls decided to call it night. You were a little tipsy and your feet hurt from all the dancing. You had lost track of Spencer earlier in the night, you were a little disappointed but it was probably for the best. A one night stand with your best friend's colleague would no doubt only end in disaster. 

You said your goodbyes outside, hugs and cheek kisses were dished out and they all promised you would have another girls night as soon as their schedules allowed. You lived on the other side of town than the girls so you waved off their cab from the curb and awaited the next one. It wasn’t long before another cab pulled up and to your confusion the rear window rolled down as it came to a stop.

“Told you I’d find you later.” Spencer smiled at you from the backseat. 

You tried to hide your blush as you slid in next to him. 

“I thought you left.” you buckled yourself in and almost immediately Spencer took hold of your hand.

“Not without you.” he leaned closer and then his lips pressed against yours in the backseat of the cab and you felt your whole body turn to jelly at the sensation. He used his free hand to cup your face as he deepened the kiss.

You felt a jolt of electricity coarse through you, something you had never felt before. Your lips moved in such a synchronized fashion it was crazy to think you had never done this before. You felt as though you’d waited your entire life for this moment. 

The kiss lasted a few minutes and when it ended you both panted slightly, trying to grasp at the air that had escaped your lungs. He kept his hand on your cheek, stroking small circles on your skin with his thumb. 

“Are you ready to join the sixty six percent club Spencer?” you smirked at him in the dark. 

He kissed you again, softly this time, more cautiously. 

“I’m quite comfortable in the minority. And I already know I am not going to be able to settle for one night with you.”

Your heart melted at his words, and the loving look he was giving you. You squeezed his hand, kissing him once more.

“If you take me for breakfast in the morning, you can have as many nights as you like.” you winked at him which made him blush a little.

“I’m sure we can arrange that, my love.”

“Thirty four percent it is then.” you laughed, settling your head on Spencer’s shoulder. He wrapped his arm around your shoulders and kissed your head. 

You would have to berate Penelope for not introducing you to Spencer sooner. But you might also need to cut her and Luke some slack, because you had a feeling you and Spencer were going to become an awful, cutesy couple just like them. But when it was happening to you, you didn’t mind so much. Maybe you’d even let Spencer call you bunny…

...On second thoughts, maybe not. Somethings would never change. You’d leave the cringey nicknames to Penelope and Luke. At least for now anyway. Tomorrow was another day. 

[sparklingchan]

Ruby Eyes|| Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Pairing : Reader(fem.) X Changbin

Word count : 7.3k+ 

Warnings : Mention of an accident, cuss words, divorce, a single kiss.

Genre : Romance, Soulmate AU, fluff, angst, best friends to lovers.

Description: Seo Changbin has done everything in his capacity to remove and replace you, yet fate seems to have different plans for the both of you.

A/N : Hello everyone ahhh I know it’s been so long y’all. So many things have been going on including exams and internships and I just didn’t have the patience to write :(( This one shot was written as a part of a collab event by wonderful, dear Ro! 

I hope y’all like it!

"So, how's it being back, y/n?"

Your dad looks older now than he did the last time you saw him - probably two years ago, when you were leaving the country.

You missed him, really. You missed his warmth and his wisdom and how he was a sharp contrast to your mother, more calm and composed. Sometimes you wonder how your mother had even managed to get your custody after their divorce.

"Okay, I guess." You lie.

You didn't want your father to know how your feelings are all over the place, ranging from sadness to anger and longingness.

It's a weird thing to be experiencing such a cocktail of emotions when you'd convinced yourself these feelings had disappeared the day you left the old neighborhood, seven years ago. You had not felt any attachment towards the new neighborhood that you and your mother then went on to live for the next two years before you moved abroad for your studies. Yet you feel nostalgic now, as your father drives you through your old old neighborhood.

"How's mom?" He asks, taking a left to a road all too familiar to you, "Is she still going to therapy?"

You nod, "She's getting better, I think. The new country seems to have changed her. The therapy is helping too. She has many friends there now. "

At first when you were offered a job at one of the biggest publishing companies in the world, you were ecstatic. But everything soon died down when you found out you were posted at a branch in the country you'd left behind. It was your mother who'd convinced you to take it.

"I know you don't like being back, y/n." Your dad smiles sadly when he pulls over infront of your old house.The house that contains years of secrets, tears, lies and whispered confessions in front of the mirror stands in front of you, as grand and pretty as ever. It looks different but similar enough to make you tear up a tad bit.

"But I'm glad you're here. I really am." He says, "I renovated the house a little when you told me you were moving back. I hope it's okay."

You smile at the old man, wrapping your arms around him, "Thanks, dad. I missed you. I'm glad you're here, too."

He pecks your forehead, "I missed you, too, love."

Moving in doesn't take a lot of time since your dad had already set up everything. You just had to get some of your stuff and you were ready to kick start your stay.

That evening, your father leaves after making you promise to call him if anything happens at all and when the front door closes, you find yourself in the company of your old room.

You lie on your bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling as you hum an old tune to yourself. And without meaning to, you find yourself thinking about him; The man you hadn't seen or talked to for a whole seven years. The man who'd tried his best to stay in touch with you yet gave up when you didn't reciprocate the same.

A horrific realization then dawns on you,

He'd obviously replaced you now.

The familiar clouds of grief loom over you, threatening to engulf you any moment now.

No. Not now, please.

Getting up from your bed immediately, you shake your head as you make your way to the mirror- the mirror that had encountered more honest tears and smiles and words than any human ever had. You stare at your reflection as tears escapes your eyes, the bright red iris of your right eye staring back at you when you rub your tears off.

You shiver.

"Shit, I forgot to wear the contacts."

Quickly grabbing your lenses from your bag, you put them on, concealing the scary blood red color of your right eye. You take two long strides across the room and pulling your favorite black hoodie over your head, you walk out of the door.

By the time you manage to leave the house, it's already 10:30 in the evening. A quiet calmness has fallen over the town, as the shops and restaurants near the market square slowly start closing up. Your feet are as if on autopilot, taking you to that one place you know would still be open; Yang's Café.

And rightly so, the smell of freshly brewed coffee reaches your nostrils when you walk through their main door, past the group of chatty teenagers waiting outside. This place hasn't changed much, you realize, the brown and golden hues of the place and the vintage coffee cups collection in the far corner of the Cafe are still the same. The only difference is that you're no longer here with your best friend right after school, you are here all alone on an evening too quiet for your liking.

"Y/n? Is that you?"

When you turn around to face the owner of the voice, you are stunned.

"Jeongin?"

Jeongin's family has owned this Cafe for three generations now, from his great-grandparents, his grandparents, his parents and soon enough it'll pass down to him. As a kid, you remember often playing with Jeongin at the park and teaming up with him during quiz competition. He was always sweet and always smiley.

But the handsome young man that stands in front of you doesn't resemble the Jeongin you once used to know, not even a little bit.

"What..what happened to you!" You exclaim, taking his face in your hands, "Where are the braces! And the specs and wow, would you look at the blue hair!"

Jeongin can only let out a few giggles as you continue squishing his face and complaining how big he's grown in only over seven years.

The customers give you weird stares but only the heavens above know how genuinely happy you are to see Jeongin, albeit the fact you almost couldn't recognize him there for a second.

"What have you done to my child?" You mutter when you've finally calmed down and Jeongin takes you to your seat.

"I have a mother, y/n, thank you very much," he laughs, taking a seat opposite to yours, loosening the Barista apron around his torso, "And I missed you too."

You attempt to pinch his cheeks but he is quick to dodge.

"So how have you been?" He asks through giggly breaths.

You sigh, "I'm good... I feel weird being back here, honestly but I think I'll get used to it soon. What about you?"

"I've been good. Graduated a few months back, now I'm working here full time." He ushers over a waiter, "What would you like, y/n?"

You don't even think for a second while responding, "An iced Americano, please."

The waiter notes your order and walks away before Jeongin pinches your arm teasingly.

"Ouch. What?"

"Old habits die hard, huh? You always used to drink an iced coffee whenever we hung out here. I am glad to see nothing much has changed," Jeongin laughs, "You and Changbin, too!"

That one name sends your entire mind into a frenzy. Changbin. Seo Changbin. The love of your life. The man who you wouldn't even go to school without, the man who had saved you from a terrible accident, also the man who probably no longer even remembers you.

And you realise, despite everything, your heart yearns for him, still- for you wouldn't be in so much pain at the mention of his name otherwise.

Jeongin seems to have noticed your discomfort because he immediately changes the topic, "Anyway, you have to try our new chocolate cake. It's heavenly, I'm telling you."

Your reason to leave the neighborhood wasn't a secret, really. It was public knowledge that your mother had blamed Changbin for the fatal accident you almost had.

You're grateful for what Jeongin does, and try your best to engage in conversations about the neighborhood and old gossip you'd missed out on. Yet all you want to do is drive out of the damn Cafe and find changbin.

"Y/n?"

Or maybe, Changbin will find you.

Behind Jeongin, you see the blurry image of a man that had once caused you great misery yet you had never felt as happy as when you were with him.

"Hi..hi, Changbin." You stammer as you see the said man walk towards your table.

The seven years have as if done some magic on him, because the Changbin that walks towards you in no way resembles your high school best friend.

With thick buff arms, new ear piercings and silver jewelry gracing his wrists and fingers, you have a hard time actually accepting the fact that Seo Changbin is really there, in front of you.

"Been long, huh?" He grins, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes and somewhere in the depths of your conscience, you realize it might have been your fault. You'd done everything in your capacity to break apart from this friendship, ignoring his calls, changing your number, even going as far as blocking him on all social media.

So, did you really expect him to welcome you back with open arms when you had caused him so much pain?

Jeongin brings an extra chair for Changbin to sit on and soon, the three of you are talking, maybe not like the old, happy days but it's still better than nothing. Changbin looks at you everytime you throw your head back and laugh, your eyes squeezing shut as his heart clenches in his chest.

You are really back home.

"So what have you been doing? I told you guys about me." Jeongin says, stealing a bite off of Changbin's cheesecake.

"Oh..you know," Changbin giggles, the tip of his ears turning a light pink shade.

You raise your eye brows in confusion.

"Been busy with the wedding and all."

Your heart drops. "Wedding? W-whose wedding?" You try to laugh it off but it's very evident from the way you're gripping your glass of iced Americano that it has affected you. A lot more than you actually thought.

"I'm getting married, y/n," Changbin smiles, "I'm so glad you could be around for the wedding."

*

Your grief stricken self has not gotten up from the bed since last night and you're thankful to Jeongin for finally checking up on you or else you would have gone deeper into the spiral hole of despair.

"Are you really going to be like this, y/n?"

You hate being miserable on the very second day of your stay. You hate depending on Jeongin. But you can barely move without bursting out into tears,so it seems as though there's no better idea than have someone take care of you at the moment.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin. " You manage to speak when he places a bag full of snacks and drinks on the dining table, "And thanks."

Jeongin chuckles, "Don't thank me, just yet. Guess who wants to meet up with you?"

Your eyes widen for a split second as you sit up on the couch, "Who?!"

No, he wouldn't, would he?

"It's not the person you think, y/n. Calm down." He laughs, "It's Bang Chan. Your senior, you remember?"

Oh, yes, the infamous Bang Chan. Shy smiles, dimples, curly hair, angelic eyes. Yeah, you remember the school's heartthrob. Very clearly.

"I was talking to him this morning and he said he'd be very glad to catch up with you again." Jeongin settles beside you, "It's not a date, y/n. He's an old friend. It wouldn't hurt, would it? You can't possibly sit here all day long crying about him."

You open your mouth to argue, but only air slips out and you realise you don't have anything to defend your miserable state with. You knew this was coming; when you cut off all ties with Seo Changbin, you knew this was coming.

Jeongin is right; you need to go out and meet new people.

You roll your eyes before pinching Jeongin's cheeks, "Fine. Give him my number."

He responds by pulling your cheeks as well.

*

The first day of work is weirdly gut wrenching.

You hadn't expected yourself to be this nervous but here you are, muttering under your breath as you make way towards the office.

"You'll be okay, y/n," you breathe in, "You've worked hard for this." And breathe out.

A few more minutes of self pep talking and you see all your hard work and expectations go down the drain as you feel a few droplets of rain fall onto your head. You look up and the dark, heavy clouds greet you.

Bloody brilliant.

You see the office goers around you jog quickly to the nearest shelter but you're short on luck today as your gaze falls on your watch and you realize you don't have enough time to wait for the rain to pass.

So you grab your office bag, cover your head with that and make a run for it.

The sole of your high heel shoes dig into your feet and a throbbing pain shoots through your body, as you wince. Note to yourself - never wear heels to office again.

You also secretly pray to the gods that your contact lens don't get washed off. Turning up at your new office on the first day with a blood red iris doesn't feel too fun, really.

"Do you need a lift?"

You had been so busy running to your office that you don't notice when a black car drives toward you and the driver rolls down the window, offering you a smile.

Seo Changbin.

Your heart skips a few beats.

"Y/n, do you need a lift?"

You blink back to reality when he clicks his fingers in front of you, "I-I mean if that's okay with you."

Changbin smiles, pointing to the passenger's seat, "Come on in."

When you're comfortably seated in his car, using his spare towel to wipe off the water from your face and hair, his questions start-

"So.." He steps on the break when the traffic light turns red, "How have you been?"

You look at the digital clock displayed on the cars' LED, and sigh. You're late to work and you're stuck in traffic with the one man you'd rather not be stuck in traffic with. Brilliant.

"Good." Your eyes are focused on the cars outside the window, "You?"

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again, "Fine."

Fine? Just Fine? Shouldn't he be over the clouds, now that the wedding is finally around the corner?

"Okay.."

"Actually, I meant to ask you earlier, y/n." He turns to you, a gentle smile playing at his lips, "I am throwing a party this weekend. I'd love it if you could come by. And I could introduce you to her."

You sink back into your seat, biting your lip, wondering if you want to ever know who her is. Your peace of mind is more important than meeting your ex crush's fiance, right? And if you do end up going to the party, whom would you hang out with? It's not like you know any of his rich friends and cousins and there's no way you'd hang out with Changbin and the said fiance.

You are about to respectfully reject the invitation when a sudden, seemingly good idea pops into your head.

Bang Chan.

You nod, shrugging, "Okay. I'll be there."

You clasp your hands together as he continues driving and you look out the window, unable to suppress the bubbling excitement.

"Great, then." He replies, suspiciously.

*

The evening of the party finally arrives, much to your dismay, you find yourself seated next to Chan. He's just the same as the guy in your memory; a gentleman.

"You look pretty, y/n." He had greeted you as he held the car door open for you, "I'm glad we could meet up."

His words turn your cheeks into a darker shade of red but your heart doesn't beat quite as furiously as you'd expect it to.

Muttering a small thank you, you seat comfortably in the car while Chan drives towards Changbin's family's old Farmhouse on the outskirts of the city. You've been there before - during summer holidays, he would take you there with his family. That place was only filled with happy memories of sunshine, swimming pools, watermelon juice and bonfires.

You swallow the grief that comes along with these memories.

"Are we here already?" Chan pulls over in a familiar driveway not even ten minutes later, jogging up to your door and clicking it open, like the gentleman he is.

"Yeah, we're here." Chan smiles, "Very less traffic tonight."

You guys walk through the huge metallic gate, making your way through the main door of the house.

"Uh..." People are crowded mostly around the front door and in the front yard, so you and Chan have to push and squeeze your way into the Farmhouse. You hate the feeling of sweaty bodies pressing against you (or holding Chan's hand for stability) but desperate situations call for desperate measures.

"I hate it here." You mutter when you later find yourself by the pool side, swirling the drink that you don't even plan on drinking and looking at all the flushed faces having the time of their lives.

Thankfully, Chan happens to be on the same boat as you.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, Chan. We could have just gone for a movie."

Chan giggles, "Hey, it's alright. I don't mind, I'm glad I could spend some time with you after so many years."

His eyes shine and dimples deepen.

You whisper, "Yeah, me too."

Chan is a handsome man, good at all kinds of sport, good at arts, very smart and intelligent yet there's a part of you that knows you'd never be able to reciprocate his flirtatious words. It's sad, really, but that's just how life is.

"Wow, those two seem to be having the time of their lives." Chan chuckles, pointing at someone behind you.

It's quite dark outside, the only source of light being a few decorative fairylights hung at random places haphazardly.

Hiding behind a huge, tall bush, you see a couple, kissing each other like it were the last day on the planet.

The guy's hands roam all over the woman's body and the woman is so loud that even you could hear her sighs and moans. When she pulls away to catch her breath for a second, Chan asks you, "You know her?"

"Nope. I don't know either of them."

You look away; what kind of creep looks at a happy couple like that? (Not a creep, just a lonely and touch starved person)

"Should we check out the dinner table?" Chan suggests and you agree with a nod, "I hope there's no crowd there."

As expected, there actually isn't a crowd there - there's only Changbin, sitting and nibbling on a pizza slice while scrolling through the phone.

The moment your eyes land on him, your feet as if stop on their own and your heart bangs furiously against your chest.

He's breathtakingly gorgeous.

By the time you debate in your head whether or not you want to sit there and fill your stomach, Chan has already made his way to Changbin.

"Hey, Bin!" He greets him with a smile.

Changbin looks at Chan with an unamused smile, the same one from your high school days, when these two were named the biggest rivals on campus. You wonder if somewhere deep in his heart, Changbin had still not let go of that rivalry.

"Hey, Changbin." You manage to whisper before sitting beside Chan.

He looks almost angry.

"You should have the pizza. It's good." He mutters, turning to pass you a slice of pizza on a plate, "Help yourself, Chan."

Yup, there it is. The Seo Changbin that would kill to be on top. You feel worse about dragging Chan here now when neither of you were having a good time.

"Thanks, mate. " Chan replies.

Your ears ring with the sound of approaching footsteps, and when a pretty girl comes walking in and takes Changbin in her arms, your heart stings. Like a fresh wound.

"Y/n.." Chan whispers to you as you watch the two collide in a loving embrace, Changbin smiling at her and running his fingers through her hair.

Your heart hurts at how happy and content he looks.

You could have had that, a part of you thinks, if you weren't such a coward, it would have been you instead of her.

"Y/n," Chan calls you again.

"What?" Your tone is harsher than you intended, "What happened?"

You think Chan is about to give you the whole it-is-time-to-move-on talk but he doesn't, instead he points at the girl and whispers,

"It's her. The girl we saw earlier."

The rest of the night is blurry to you, all conversations, all gazes, all thoughts just feel ....like an awkward dream.

"We have to tell Changbin."

You're sitting at Yang's Cafe at 1 am the same night, watching Jeongin's brother guide his staff to clean the place up.

"I agree." Chan says, biting the inside of his cheeks.

While you, on the other hand, are completely zoned out, staring at the glass of water placed in front of you and watching the droplets on its surface race each other.

"Y/n, what do you think?" Jeongin asks when you don't take part in their discussions.

You sigh, "I don't know. I really don't. As much as it troubles me that Changbin is being cheated on, I don't want to get involved in their personal relationship. "

"Let's not tell anyone for now, then. But someday in the future, before that goddamn wedding, we have to tell him. He deserves to know." Chan agrees.

You purse your lips and close your eyes.

Chan is right.

Changbin deserves to know the truth.

*

"So, how's it being back in town, y/n?"

"It feels good. Weird, but good." You smile at your old teacher, "How have you been, Miss Oh?"

Your teacher adds sugar to the cup of tea in her hands and then looks at you, smiling - the same old smile, except with more wrinkles now, "I've been good. I'm retiring next year so I'm glad I could see you before that, huh?"

You nod your head, "I'm glad too. The school hasn't changed much, unlike what I had expected."

Other than the addition of some new labs and libraries, and the change in color of the walls, everything was still the same. No place in this old school building feels foreign to you.

"Ugh, these administration people I tell you, y/n, they're cheap idiots. They won't spend a single penny on infrastructure unless it's absolutely necessary." She complains as you giggle in response,

"They've always been like that."

Miss Oh gulps some tea from her cup, "Anyway, y/n, I have a class now. I would have loved to stay and chat, really, but I'm afraid that might get me in to trouble."

"No issues, Miss Oh. Go ahead. I'll just roam around the school a little more though, if that's okay."

After Miss Oh leaves, you step out of her cabin and walk the familiar corridors, reminiscent of the memories you have here. Studying a few minutes before tests, bunking classes, running to class when you're late, hanging out with your friends- these corridors have seen you grow in love, in friendship, in life. There's absolutely nothing that could ever replace these memories.

Mindlessly, you wander around the third floor, walking toward the end of the corridor before stopping in front of an old door, way too familiar to not try and push open.

While a part of you tells you it might not be a good idea to go into that room again, there's also a part of you that thinks it's a bloody brilliant idea.

Pushing the door open, you walk into the old dusty room, sighing in relief when you see a particular set of letters still carved on the wall.

CB and YN were here.

You finally let your tears run free, as you crouch down to touch the letters.

Your heart aches at how much you miss Changbin being an important part of your life and how much you miss being his top priority. And your heart aches for Changbin, who is so in love with his fiancé and has no idea he's being cheated on.

You almost want to leave this town and go back to your mother, away from this terrible mess. Yet you don't find it in yourself to act on those thoughts.

Maybe, it is your fear of abandoning him once again that stops you. Or, maybe it is simply the unconditional love you harbor for him.

* Surprisingly, Yang's Cafe is near empty that afternoon.

"Did something happen, y/n? You look really worried." Changbin has his arms crossed over his chest, looking at you with a tense frown.

"Um..it's kind of complicated." You sigh. For a second, you see the genuine concern and innocence on his face, and you wonder if it is worth telling him the truth at all because it would kill you to see him lose his smile but then, his engagement band shines on his ring finger and your stomach turns unpleasantly.

He has to know. From you. In person.

"Changbin, that day at your party...I saw something. " You whisper, "Something I shouldn't have. I should have turned a blind eye really but I can't. My conscience won't allow it. I'm sorry, Bin."

"Y/n, it's okay, just tell me," he reaches over and wraps his fingers around yours, soft and gentle, "You're scaring me."

"Changbin, your fiance is cheating on you. I-I saw her kissing another man that night. Chan saw it too." You feel sick even having to say this to him, "I think you should confront her."

He sucks in a deep breathe, his face completely void of any emotions as he extracts his hands from yours.

"I know." Is all he says.

His eyes drill into yours, as if accusing you of a crime. He looks angry. Just how he looked the day you brought Chan to his party.

"Why are you still marrying her then?" You question.

He sits up straight, "Y/n, I wish I could explain. But I can't. I'm sorry. And please, stay out of this, okay?"

"Why? Why should I stay out of it?" Your voice threatens to break, "I cannot watch my best friend marry a woman who's not loyal. You deserve better than this, Bin."

A sarcastic chuckle leaves Changbin's lips as he taps his foot against the floor, "Let me correct you, y/n. You were my best friend. Seven years ago. You're not anymore."

Your heart shatters.

A part of you knows you deserve this after ghosting him for seven long years. You were the center of each other's world at one point of time.How could you have been so selfish to ever think that your absence and lack of communication wouldn't hurt him?

"Changbin, I'm sorry for everything I did okay. B-but I never stopped thinking or worrying about you. Even for one second. And I still do."

Changbin pushes his chair back and stands up while you stay frozen in your seat.

"It doesn't seem like that though. "

"What do you even mean!"

"Chan. I mean Chan, y/n." He grabs his phone and purse, "Goodbye, y/n. I hope Chan turns out to be a better friend than I ever did." With that, the love of your life walks out of Yang's Cafe.

And for once, he doesn't even look back.

* "Y/n, don't let go of my hand!"

Changbin is panting heavily, his voice shaking with fear as he desperately tries to hold onto you.

He should have known it would be a bad idea to play badminton near the infamous cliff in your town yet when you had showed him your innocent smile and pleading eyes that day, he just couldn't say no.

Your sweaty hands clutch his, legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. Your free hand grabs the rough surface of the rocky cliff to keep yourself from falling.

You want to cry; but you're too traumatized to even let out more than a few terrified grunts. "Y/n," he yells, "I'm going to try and pull you up one more time, okay?."

You don't even remember how you had ended up in this situation; one second you were happily giggling, playing badminton with Changbin and in the next second, you found yourself hanging by the cliff, praying for your dear life.

With all the energy he has left, he tries to pull you up onto the surface.

"Y/n, you have to free the other hand. Let go of that rock." He pants.

You shake your head vigorously, you know you would not survive if you let go of the rock, you'd fall thousands of feet below into absolute nothingness.

"Y/n, please listen to me." Changbin pleads, now crying, "Please. I'll catch you, I promise. I'll not let you die. Just..please."

Changbin sounds like he's about to give up and in all honesty, you couldn't blame him really. Everytime your eyes fall on what's beneath you, a part of you loses hope.

"Please, come on, y/n," he's still pulling at your free hand, while his right hand awaits desperately to grab the other hand. A mixture or sweat and tears grace his face, making him shine under the bright afternoon sun. Your heart aches at the mere thought of never seeing him again- your friend, your childhood crush, your partner in everything.

Well, here goes nothing then.

You suck in a deep breath and let go the Rock, immediately reaching for Changbin. He is quick to grab both of your arms and in one swift movement, he pulls you up onto the surface.

You fall onto his chest, "Y-you saved me."

Changbin let's out a sob mixed with a relieved giggle, pulling you into his arms.

Your eyes feel heavy, as darkness slowly begins to engulf your vision.

"Oh God, I am so sorry this happened, y/n. It's all my fault." He cries, rubbing your back softly, "I'm so sorry. I thought I was going to lose you, oh God. Fuck!"

You want to tell him that it was never his fault, and that you wouldn't even be alive if not for him but your body betrays you and your body goes limp against his.

*

"I'm not leaving this neighborhood."

Your hands rest angrily on your waist as your mom frantically walks from your closet to where the suitcase is spread open on your bed, shifting all your clothes. She dumps them inside the suitcase, not bothering to fold them even.

"You will do as I say! That Seo Changbin tried to push you off of a cliff and heaven knows what he might do next!" Your mom yells back.

You sit at the edge of your bed, trying to keep yourself calm, "Mom, I told you it was an accident. I fell because I was going after the shuttlecock and didn't notice the cliff. Moreover, why would my best friend want try to kill me!"

Your mom let's out a sarcastic laugh, closing the suitcase roughly. She looks at you with eyes full of contempt and a part of you knows that there's no point in trying to convince her. Her mind is already made. Yet you refuse to go down without a fight.

"You're just sixteen, sweetie. You don't know anything about the cruel world, " your mother sighs, "Rich people are not friends with anyone. Changbin may be nice to you but he only sees you as a pathetic poor girl."

"Mom, we're not even poor!"

"Yes, I know. But those filthy rich businessmen consider everyone below their economic status poor. His family probably doesn't like him being friends with you which is why they asked him to get rid of you."

You think of Mrs. Seo's face in your head, always smiling and always welcoming. You remember Changbin's sister and how she'd promised to let you borrow her dress for this year's winter prom. And you think about Changbin- his face, his smile, his passion for music and his protectiveness towards you. Why would these people ever want to hurt you?

"Mom, you're being ridiculous right now! Do you even hear yourself!" You stand up from the bed, now beyond frustrated.

She walks upto you and grabs your arm tightly, nails digging into your skin as you whimper slightly. "You will listen to me. I am your mother and you will listen to me. " she growls, "Pack the rest of your stuff. We're leaving tomorrow."

When she finally walks out your bedroom, your first instinct is to dress yourself in your black hoodie and track pants, and quietly slip out of the back window of your room.

The cold air nips at your skin, goosebumps slowly appearing on your arms and legs but you're too preoccupied to pay too much heed to it.

You reach Changbin's house and like always, walk up to the backyard and climb upto his room through the emergency staircase.

When Changbin hears knocks on his window, he quickly removes his headphones, "y/n?"

He walks upto the window and let's you in, his heart more at peace now than it's ever been the entire day. The guilt from the accident you had earlier was clawing at his conscience.

His room is mostly dark except for his table lamp. You notice the lyrics notebook lying on the table, open with some scribbles and random phrases on the pages.

"How are you feeling?"

You sit at the edge of his bed, cross legged while he kneels on the floor to get to your level. His hands find yours naturally.

"Fine," you swallow the tears that have been accumulating since you left the house, "Changbin, I- we're leaving tomorrow."

Changbin is taken aback; his heart shattering into billions of pieces at your words.

"Leaving? What do you mean Leaving?" his voice trembles.

You lick your dry lips and tell him everything your mom had told you earlier. When his face twists bitterly, a part of you wishes you'd held your tongue yet a bigger part of you wants Changbin to know the truth now; you didn't want him sending you off with lies in his mind and the fear of him finding out some years later just killed you inside.

"I'm so sorry, Changbin. Mom's just not been okay after the divorce." Your voice breaks when Changbin refuses to look at you, "I know she's speaking bullshit. But there's absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind, I've tried I swear. I'm sorry, Changbin."

When Changbin finally does look at you, even in the dim lit room, you see the tears glistening on his face, mirroring the ones that roll down your cheeks. "Why are you sorry, y/n? I don't blame your mom." He mutters, "It was partly my fault. I should have taken more care, I-"

You cup his cheek, "Shh. Bin, are we really going to spend my last night here crying and blaming ourselves? We might never see each other again."

The words sink deep into his soul, and he nods. He wills his tears back in as he grabs your hand tighter.

"Okay. What do you wanna do?"

You smile a little, "You're not gonna like it though. "

"Stargazing it is then." He giggles a little as the both of you make your way to balcony attached to his room.

It is quiet outside, unlike the noise in your head and you feel the calmness spreading to you when you look up at the stars.

Changbin brings a picnic mat from inside and spreads it out on the floor, along with two pillows and a blanket.

"We'll stay in touch, yeah? If you ever need anything, I'll be right here." He reassures you, lying beside you, hands behind his head.

You smile yet you cannot bring yourself to promise him the same because you know your mother would do everything in her power to push the two of you apart, even to the point of physically hurting Changbin. You would never want that so you'd rather distance yourself and let Changbin forget about you. And maybe, just maybe fate would be a little nicer to you and decide to bring you into his life again. Many years later.

He presses a soft kiss to your head, "You'll always be my best friend, y/n. I don't care how far we are."

It takes everything in your being to not repeat the words.

*

"Changbin, come on we're getting you to the hospital this instant, okay?" Mrs. Seo is furious next morning, running from room to room, looking through the list of doctors she'd saved just in case of emergency.

When she looks at her son, sitting on the sofa with one of his eye irises turning a glowing red, she is reassured that this is an emergency.

"How did this even happen, mom? I swear I didn't try to do anything funny with my eye." He murmurs, scared, "It feels so itchy, gosh!"

Mrs.Seo looks at him with concern just when the doctor picks the call, "Oh, hello Dr.Lee! Thank god you picked up!"

After his mom walks out of his room, Changbin quickly types you a text,

Binnie: Hey. Did you leave already?

Y/nnie: No not yet. We've stopped at the doctor's.

Changbin's eyes widen in alarm.

Binnie: What why?

You look at your face in the decorative mirror at the doctor's waiting room, one of your irises burning into a bright shade of ruby.

Y/nnie: Mom's running a cold.

You close the messenger app before he even replies, deciding to change your number and deleting all your old contacts as soon as you move into your new house. And as much as it hurt you, this one text turned out to be the last time Changbin and you ever talked.

*

It has been raining all day, which means you were stuck in your goddamn house with nothing to do but cry about Changbin and your lost friendship and your broken heart.

After you manage to get some food into your body during dinner time, you crawl back to your room and look into the mirror as you comb your hair and moisturize your skin.

(Self care is important, y'all)

Your red iris stares back at you, taunting your mistakes and calling you a coward.

If only you had still tried to keep in touch with him, if only that stupid accident wouldn't have happened in the first place, if only.

Suddenly, a knock on your balcony door makes you jump in your place.

Shit. Is it a burglar?

You grab the closest thing that could be classified as a weapon - which happens to be an umbrella.

The knocking continues.

"Y/n, it's Changbin." He yells, "Can I please talk to you?"

You freeze in your spot.

Why in the world is he here? Does he have anything worse to say? Is he here to invite you to his wedding? But why would he sneak in through the balcony when he can easily ring the main door bell.

"Y/n, are you in there?"

You quickly walk upto the door and slide it open, revealing Changbin, completely drenched in the rain. His wet hair stuck to his face and "Shit. What the- God, come inside!"

He obeys and tiptoes inside your room, a guilty expression plastered on his face.

You guide him directly to the bathroom and offer him a towel.

"What are you even doing here, Bin?" You lean against the door frame, hands crossed over your chest.

He is drying his hair with the towel when he looks up at you as if to answer your question but he stops. His mouth hangs open as his eyes remain glued to your face.

And that's when you realize why he looks so surprised.

"Shit- fuck." You turn around immediately, "my lenses," you mutter to yourself.

But before you can even walk upto your dressing table, Changbin has caught your wrist and spun you around, pulling you closer to his body.

"Your eye." He let's out a shaky breath.

"Yes, I know. Please don't freak out. It's always been like this after -"

"After the accident." He finishes your sentence, "I know."

Your mouth runs dry as his face draws in closer, "What do you mean you know? What do you know?"

He let's go of your wrist and takes a step back, turning around so that his back faces you.

And when he turns to look at you again, you swear you could have passed out there and then.

"Y-you have it too." You whisper, weak in the knees, "You have a red iris too."

Changbin gives you a small smile, "Yes, y/n."

"But why? What does this mean?" You say, "Is it a symptom of some chronic illness?"

"It's a soul mark."

"What's a soul mark?"

"It's a mark that exists on the bodies of soulmates."

You feel a pang in your chest; like someone was squeezing your heart out of your chest.

"Right," You fall back onto the bed, dazed with the sudden piece of information, "And how do you know all this?"

Changbin kneels down in front of you, hands finding yours. He looks more relaxed than he did since the first day you come back to town.

It almost feels like you had been given back your old friend.

"I've been doing my research, y/n. After you left, this is all I've been doing." He says, "This is also the reason why I had gotten engaged. By that time, I had given up on finding a soulmate. So I just settled for whatever I got. I didn't even feel bad when I found out my fiance was not in love with me. For the world, we might look like a happy couple, but truly, it was just a marriage of convenience for our parents' business."

You bite your lips wondering how to respond to these words. He'd laid bare his heart in front of you, something you never thought he'd do ever again.

"What now?" You say, tired.

He intertwines your fingers, "Also, I'm sorry for yesterday. I shouldn't have said all that."

You nod, "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it. And for the record, I and Chan have nothing going on."

"And for the record, I also broke off my engagement."

Your eyes widen as a gasp leaves your lips, "What? Why?"

"Because when I told my parents that I do not love my fiancé, and that I have only ever loved you, they said my happiness was more important than their business."

When you don't reply to his words, he looks worried, "Hey, you don't have to feel burdened to like me back and all okay? Literally, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. I understand-"

You pull him by the nape and place the softest, gentlest, most sincere kiss on his lips.

"I feel the same way, dumbass." You sigh as you pull him into your arms.

He muzzles his face in the crook of your neck, playing with your hair from behind, "So what now?"

"Let's start with a date." You say, "Let's take it slow."

Changbin wraps his arms tighter around you, kissing your cheek, "As you wish, my love. "

[dreamsoflevi]

Love Was Not Enough | Part 1

Summary: A titan shifter is working in the Scout Regiment with a plan. Growing up with hate for Paradis takes a complete turn when falling for a certain Captain and developing friendships. Is it too late to make a change?

Word Count: 4.2k

CW: Some fluff, angst, mentions of violence, description of an emotional breakdown, stress.

Author’s Note: My first post on Tumblr! I’m so slow when it comes to using Tumblr lol. Starting off with an angsty story because it's raining and gloomy. It was supposed to be an one-shot but it ended up being super long. There will be 1-2 more parts. Hope you enjoy! ♡

You loved him.

You really did.

You still do.

When you first met him, you were surprised this was the person everyone was referring to when they would mention Humanity's strongest soldier, Captain Levi. His aloof and brash attitude would prove those thoughts drilled in your head about the devils in disguise living amongst the lands as you. He didn't care for anything and he wouldn’t hesitate to remind you of that. “You will become titan shit.” His exact words spat to your face. Who does he think he is?

You were exceptional at what you did, full of intellect and skills landed you on his squad along with a group of newer cadets. The 104th cadets. You were all replacements for his previous squad who were killed by the female titan, your comrade Annie during the 57th expedition. You were trained for this after all. You were prepared and you had a plan along with a few others. Secret glances, nods, and meetings were shared amongst you four any chance you could get.

You ended up befriending a few too. A shy yet wise Armin, an extremely passionate Eren, a wild and resourceful Sasha, and some others. A bunch of children putting their lives on the line for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Aren’t you doing the same too?

During expeditions, you would watch Captain Levi swinging through trees on his ODM gear, slicing through the napes of every titan he landed his eyes on. Now you understand why he is humanity’s strongest. Slicing through titans without a struggle and with immense strength and speed.

He'd frantically look around making sure the others were okay. He'd shout the names of his squad and any other names he could remember hoping to get a shout in return. The panicked look on this face when he would hear screams and race to the source of them. Maybe he does care. When returning to the walls, you could see him grimace watching the gates open only for it to quickly change back to his normal neutral expression.

-

“L/N!” A voice breaking your thoughts as you walk back inside the headquarters after training. You turn around to see Captain Levi standing behind you with a small stack of papers in his hand.

“Yes, Captain?” You wiped the sweat off your forehead with your sleeve.

“Are you doing anything after this?”

You shook your head. “No, sir. Do you need anything?”

“Yes. Deliver this paperwork to Commander Erwin. He should be in his office now.” He handed you the small stack of papers he was holding.

“Yes, sir.” You nodded your head grabbing the papers and walking in the direction of Commander Erwin’s office.

Approaching his office, you knocked on his door. You heard a deep voice respond and turned the knob to enter. Opening the door, you see the distressed Commander sitting at his desk. One hand resting on his forehead and the other scribbling away. He glances up and sees the stack in your hands.

“Ah, thank you (Y/N), I was waiting for these.” Raising his hand in anticipation of the papers.

You walked up to his desk handing it to him. “No problem, Commander.”

You look around his messy desk. Papers spread all around, empty teacups resting on the side, and two ink bottles sitting on his desk. Your eyes take a peek at his face, dark circles under his eyes, and his hair slightly messed up. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him. No. You try shaking those thoughts away. They are the devils and we are paying for their actions.

But you take another look at him. Imagine being in his position. Are you aware of what your ancestors did, Commander? He’s shuffling through the small stack of papers that were just handed to him. You can see the squares and circles in the form of a large triangle. The formations. The lives and the future of thousands rest upon this single man’s shoulders. Of course, he has to spend hours on end meticulously planning the expeditions and making sure the formations are properly formed. A plan for a better tomorrow, a hopeful future. Don’t you want that too?

You internally sigh in defeat. “Um... Commander?” You nervously play with your fingers.

“Yes, (Y/N)?” He looks up at you, hand still holding the quill and the other now resting on the desk.

“Do.. do you need help? I just finished training and If you need help, I…” You bite your lip, your nerves getting the best of you as his eyes remain in contact with yours.

The curves of his mouth turn upwards. “If you can, please.” He gestures to the seat in front of him.

You flash him a smile, nod your head and take a seat. He hands you a stack of papers. “For these, you just need to write today’s date under the line where it says date received. Then organize them alphabetically.”

That’s where you found yourself at least twice a week. Helping the commander out whenever you could, organizing his paperwork, and filling them out whenever he needed you to. Sometimes you would work in complete silence. The sounds of pens scribbling, paper shuffling, and the sips the Commander took of his tea. Sometimes he would tell you a little story about his life and of his childhood. He would speak of his father being a major inspiration in his life and the reason he pushes forward every day. He had a sudden death, though the Commander never told you why, you can imagine it was a traumatic one for him.

A couple of months pass by and you are now sitting in the Captain's office. Coming into Commander’s office one day and seeing his surprisingly organized desk for once and him telling you that he didn’t need any assistance today. However, Captain Levi might need help with the reports from a previous expedition. Nodding your head and giving a quick salute, you made your way to Captain Levi’s office.

Working with Captain Levi was soothing. His office was very neat. Paperwork in his office sitting on his desk in organized piles. You can smell the faint scent of lemon which was refreshing. You visiting his office became a more frequent occurrence since he appreciated the assistance he would receive though he’d never tell you that. He would have a stack ready for you set up on the side table in his office. He was not much of a talker like Commander Erwin nor was he someone who reminisces his life it seems.

However, you would still have conversations here and there. He would ask about how you were feeling with training and if you dared to complain about the exercises he was giving, he would simply tell you to get better with the exercises or get eaten. Then realizing his bluntness and the silence that filled the room after, he would elaborate on his statement.

What he means is, he would say, these exercises help with increasing stamina and balance that will aid us on the battlefield. Outside the walls, anything can happen. Titans pop out of nowhere catching you off guard and little mishaps like getting tangled, being too slow, or even aiming your anchor wrong can lead to a fatal mistake. You could agree with that.

“(L/n), why did you decide to join the scouts?” He asked without looking up from what he was doing.

You stilled for a second and looked up at him. His eyes were still on the paper in front of him. This question always catches you off guard even if you rehearsed it so many times. It makes you nervous and vulnerable as if the person asking can see right through you and your facade.

“Same reason as everyone else, sir.” He glanced at you now and you immediately looked back down at the paper in front of you. You tried to avoid as much eye contact as you can.

He cocked an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“F-freedom.. from the titans.” You heard a scoff.

“Now you sound like Eren.” He was still looking at you. You dared to meet your eyes with his. He still had a stoic look on his face but there was curiosity simmering in his eyes. He was waiting for an answer. You had no choice but to give one. How would you say it though? You don’t want to lie. Captain Levi can be very perceptive and you’re sure he could see through your facade.

You bit your lip. “I… I want a better future for myself, my loved ones, and future generations. All my life, I’ve experienced confinement and.. oppression. But I have been given the power- er, the opportunity I should say to aid in defeating our e-enemies and... and I hope to accomplish that to live a more liberating life.”

He remained in eye contact with you without saying anything. The silence was deafening in the room and you hoped he would say something. Each second of silence was building the temperature in your body as your nerves were starting to get the best of you. Your chest was burning and you could feel a bit of sweat forming on your scalp. Did you say the wrong thing? Or maybe you said too much? Why isn’t he saying anything?

Your lips parted in anticipation to say something. But what else were you going to say? Before you can process what you are going to say, he hummed and looked back down at his work.

“You are right. We all have the same reason, more or less. To break out of these confined and oppressive walls and defeat these shitty titans. Whatever is out there must be better than what we live in now.”

You internally sighed. It’s not better but hopefully, it will get better. I guess we have the same mission, just different targets. You and everyone else here being mine Captain. You felt your throat dry up. Can you imagine killing these people? Watching Captain struggling on his last breath? Commander Erwin? Hange? Connie, Sasha, Jean, Armin? But your ancestors... Now you are suffering because of these devils.

Shaking your head of these thoughts, you try to focus back on the paper in front of you. “Ar-” You cleared your throat. “Armin believes there’s a sea out there.”

He snorted. “That kid and his shitty dream...” You could see a hint of a smile forming on his face. “Who knows, maybe there is.”

You come to realize that he’s not rude, he just doesn’t know how to express himself. His actions speak louder than words and you can’t help but grow a lot of respect for him. But he’s still a devil. But he has a heart and he cares for every single person in this regiment, including you. It doesn’t matter. They caused your people pain and betrayed them.

-

A perk of being on Captain Levi’s squad is getting to sit on meetings planning the expeditions. Commander Erwin would call these meetings for input on observations made from previous missions. Armin enthusiastically shares what he learns from the missions. Plans are being formed around Eren and his abilities. He’s learning new things about what he can do every day and recently he learned about hardening abilities from Annie. Working with Hange to train how to harden properly to be able to plug walls in the future.

They have no idea though. No idea what is beyond these walls, where these titans come from, where do they go, or anything else. They are risking their lives for the answers, the answers that you already know.

Walking through the dark hallways, you step into the mess hall. There sitting on a table in the dimly lit corner were Reiner and Bertholdt. The ones on the mission with you alongside Annie.

“Where have you been lately?” Reiner asked as you sat down on the bench. You usually had these meetings at least once or twice a week, but since Annie was captured, things have gotten more hectic. In fear of getting caught or being busy with so many tasks, you haven’t had the chance to meet with them as often as you should.

“Sorry.. I’ve just been swamped with training, meetings, and helping the higher-ups with their paperwork.”

Reiner narrows his eyes at you. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with them lately.”

“Yeah but I’ve managed to learn a few things.”

“Like what?”

“Well, Eren is close to figuring out his hardening abilities. Hange had taken the sample from Annie but she didn’t get far with that. Now she and Eren are working together to see how Eren can unlock his own ability.”

Reiner hummed. “If Eren learns how to harden, he could start landing attacks on me. He’d still be no match for Bertholdt though.”

You nodded in response. There was an awkward silence. No one had much to say which was a huge difference from before when you had to plot your next moves and practice your stories together. Usually, Reiner was the one who would come up with the plans and assign tasks to the rest of you three. This was before the fight between Eren and Annie. You didn’t expect Annie to lock herself into the crystal.

You looked at Reiner who seemed to be deep in thought. “What are you thinking?”

He sighed. “I think another attack is coming soon.”

Bertholdt and your eyes widen. “Are you sure? Isn’t it a little too quick, Reiner?” Bertholdt wearily asks. You nod your head in agreement.

“They already have Annie. We need to get Eren and try to get Annie out of there as well.”

“Yes!” Bertholdt interjects. “We do need to save Annie.” Bertholdt always had a soft spot for Annie. You have an inkling he has a crush on her because he gets flustered and avoids the topic every time it’s brought up.

You don’t know if you’re ready for another attack. The last one was devastating. The fight between Eren and Annie destroyed so many homes and lost lives. Children losing their parents, parents losing their children, lovers lost… It is heartbreaking. You don’t know if you can stomach another attack at this point. What are you saying? That is what you’re here for. You need to do this for your people back home. You let out a long exhale and close your eyes.

“It bothers you too, doesn’t it?” You open your eyes to Bertholdt looking at you.

“They are people… just like us.”

You nod your head meekly. “Just like us.” You repeated in a whisper.

Reiner sighs. “And they have no clue what is happening.”

“No clue.” You and Bertholdt breathe simultaneously. You three sit in silence, all three of you lost in your own thoughts. Why did it have to be us?

-

During training you noticed Captain Levi limping a little more than usual. Since the 57th expedition, his leg has been in bad shape. He still supervises your training and some days, he can walk properly and some days he’s limping. You turn back to your task at hand, slicing through the titan dummies set up.

“(Y/n)! Straighten your back!” He yells from the field and you obey, straightening your back while you and Connie swing to the titan dummy.

“Oi Sasha! You have to aim your anchors a bit higher!”

“Mikasa, don't go too fast!”

The comments usually went like that for the entire training session. Watching all of you train and critique your performances. You’re not going to lie, it was a pain in the ass. But you noticed it does help you outside of the walls. Captain Levi is good at what he does. He’s perceptive and knows exactly what to do and when. He is a natural titan killer. Being able to take down small to abnormal and maybe even ones like you. After you were done, you all were panting and sweating while walking back to the field.

“Phew! That was some training today,” Connie wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

Jean clicked his tongue. “That was nothing! Probably too much for you right Yeager?” He smirked at Eren.

Eren rolled his eyes. “You wish, Jean boy. That’s why you’re drenched in sweat.”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

You all groaned as Eren and Jean started arguing for the fifth time today. The first two times Armin tried to interject to try and diffuse the argument but at this point, even he gave up.

“You’re on Yeager. After dinner, we’ll have an arm wrestling match.”

“After dinner,” Eren confirmed. “Don’t horse around Kirstein.”

“Shut up titan freak.”

“Are you ladies done bickering?” Captain Levi glared at them with his arms crossed. Eren clicked his tongue and Jean muttered under his breath. Captain narrowed his eyes at them, a warning to fix their attitudes. They immediately straightened their backs.

“Yes sir!” A few of you silently giggled watching them get scolded by Captain Levi.

Watching them with a smile, you loved the banter between Eren and Jean. Despite the arguments, you know deep down they have respect and admiration for one another. It’s distinctly shown during battle when they are looking out for another. Even during Eren’s fits of rage, Jean is understanding and never attacks Eren for his impulsive decisions. He might get a little bit of teasing though.

They were very friendly with you too. Always giving you a pat on the back or a cheesy grin whenever they see you. Looking back at you when riding through the gates to make sure you’re okay or screaming your name to make sure you are fine when fighting titans. And let’s not forget Jean’s flirty nature. His love for Mikasa is strong but he can’t help it when he sees any walking and breathing female. Just kidding. He’s not that girl crazy.. maybe. It’s too soon to decide that.

I think another attack is coming soon. You heard Reiner’s voice suddenly appeared in your mind. You suddenly started feeling a bit nauseous. Another attack on these people. These people you are considering your friends. You felt the salty taste in the back of your throat. Trying to calm your nerves, you took some deep quiet breaths. It wasn’t helping. It was getting harder to swallow with your throat tightening. You silently walked back hoping no one starts a conversation with you. As soon as you get back, you were planning on taking a very, very cold shower.

Grabbing your clothes, you ran into the showers. Breathing hard and with shaking hands, you turned the shower knob. The cold water hitting you and startling you for the first few seconds. You can’t. You can. You can’t. You have to. But these people, you can’t do that to them now. Not when they are just started to grow on you. They were normal people with normal feelings. They’re not… devils? Yes, they are.

You remember the attack in Trost. The chaos that spread through the walls. These same cadets hopelessly try to fight the titans. You were all newly graduated. Thomas getting eaten by a titan. Screams and cries filled your ears along with the sounds of loud thumps and bone-crunching.

When you were discussing things with Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, poor Marco being in the wrong place at the wrong time. How devastated Jean was losing his best friend and not knowing ultimately it was you three that led to his death. Not only his but everyone else’s. The way Armin looked when Eren sacrificed himself to save him.

Can you do this again?

A sob escaped from your throat. Tears flew down your cheeks getting mixed in with the water. You are no different than them, aren't you? The blood of these innocent lives on your hands. But they were the reason for all this, no? Except they don’t know. Is it justifiable blaming them for something that happened so many years ago? While you are oppressed by the Marleyeans, they are oppressed by these titans. Aren’t you any different from the Marleyans then? Punishing innocent people for things out of their control?

Leaning your head on the tiled wall, you needed to make a decision. Whose side are you on? No, whose side do you want to be on? Do you want to continue the same treatment you received? Do you want to be the reason a child loses their mother? Their father? You need to make a decision and make it quick. You grabbed the soap bar and cleaned yourself off. You will make a decision. You just need time.

After your shower, you remembered you were going to go to Captain Levi’s office to help him with his paperwork. You also remembered how he was limping badly today. Before going into his office, you decided to make a trip to the infirmary.

Asking the nurses for some balm for Captain Levi’s leg, you grabbed a small jar and made your way to his office. What’s the reason for this? Are you trying to relieve some of the guilt eating away at your conscience?

Entering his office, he offered a small greeting before pointing to the paperwork that needed to be done today. Before getting seated at the table, you walked over to his desk and held out the small jar. With an eyebrow raised, he looked at the jar in your hand.

“It’s for your leg. You were limping today and I thought this might help sir.”

He took the jar from your hand. The curves of his mouth turned upward, not enough to call it a smile since he hardly ever did. “Thank you.”

Thank you. You felt your heart flutter. You barely hear words of acknowledgment from him and you can’t help but feel happy that you were on the receiving end of them. So what? Why do you care? Because you do admire him. After all, he was your Captain and you respect him. And he is looking nicer than usual in his black suit and cravat. What? Are you okay? You’re just acknowledging his looks. It means nothing-

Wait, he said thank you. You need to answer him instead of disputing with your own self.

“It’s no problem.” You smiled at him and walked over to your seat and began working.

-

That is how things went for a while. You have been avoiding Reiner and Bertholdt any chance you can get because you were unsure of how to explain the inner turmoil you are having with yourself. You are close to walking away from it all, officially dedicating your heart to the Scouts, to Commander Erwin, to Paradis. You are willing to throw it away. Your family, friends, and everyone else back home. They don’t understand what you’re going through. The struggle you are facing. It’s easy to be on the other side of things but when having to see these losses head-on, it’s gut-wrenching.

You managed to get even closer to everyone. Sharing laughs and jokes with your squad during breakfast and dinner, working with Commander Erwin more closely and offering suggestions when he’s planning the formations, engaging in more conversations with Captain Levi, and even spending time in Hange’s office.

“Oh! Hello again (Y/n)! Guess what Eren is doing today!” Hange exclaimed while wrapping her arm around Eren’s neck. Eren holding onto her arm trying to relieve some pressure on his neck.

“What is he doing today?” You gave Eren a little smirk.

“Drinking a lot of water. We’re testing out his pee!” She shoved a large canteen into Eren’s chest.

“Pee? Wait, why?”

“Because Eren, we’re tested your blood but we haven’t received consistent results. So we are going to try your bladder. So drink up! We need at least a liter.”

“A liter?!” Eren squeaked.

Hange cackled. “A liter indeed!”

“(Y/n), do you want to help Eren out?” She flashed a grin at you.

“Sure,” you shrugged. “What do I have to do?”

“Just make sure he drinks this entire canteen of water. And if he doesn’t..” her smile dropped and she grimly looked at you, “Force him.”

Eren managed to drink the canteen of water and he also managed to give a liter of urine samples. Unfortunately, Eren had to run to the bathroom every half hour for the rest of the day. This resulted in a very irritated Captain Levi and a snickering Jean.

“What experiment did four eyes do on the shit head today?” He asked you when you walked into his office.

“She needed urine samples from Eren so she forced him to drink an entire canteen which is a gallon of water in one hour.” You grinned while grabbing your stack of papers.

He cringed. “Poor Eren.”

You snapped your neck to look at him in shock. “Did you just have sympathy for someone, Captain?”

“Oi, shut it. Don’t get mouthy with me.” He teasingly pointed a finger at you.

You snickered, taking your usual seat at the table. “I mean… It’s Hange. I always have sympathy for anyone who works with her. Look at poor Moblit.” He chuckled.

His chuckle rang through your head. He chuckled. You quickly caught your thoughts and felt heat rushing up to your cheeks for getting flustered about him chuckling. Why are you feeling like this?

“Captain, what’s the occasion? I don’t think anyone has ever heard you laugh.” You grinned at him.

“That wasn’t a laugh.” He immediately responded while scribbling on papers.

“Fine. A chuckle.” You rolled your eyes and began shuffling through the papers and organizing them.

“Well feel special I guess. You heard your captain chuckle.” He mockingly repeats the word in your tone.

Special. You smile. I do feel special.

[heauxplesslydevoted]

Everybody Talks (Ethan x MC)

Summary: At a conference hosted by the American Medical Association, Ethan stumbles upon an unpleasant conversation about his girlfriend.

Warnings: None

~v~

Ethan watches as his girlfriend owns the room. At the American Medical Association conference in their own city of Boston, in the large ballroom of The Ritz Carlton, he quietly observes from the corner as she excitedly chats with a Dr. Catherine Stanley, a renowned surgeon from Columbia, while everyone within an arm's reach of her is drawn in by the sheer magnetism of her presence. He’ll never get tired of watching her like this. Naomi is completely in her element. Whenever she’s in a deep conversation about medicine, her posture loosens, her nose crinkles, and her voice takes on a pitchy breathiness the more and more excited she gets.

So caught up in thinking about her, Ethan doesn’t even notice that she’s walking up to him until she’s within a few feet. She smiles brightly as she leans against the bar. “You’re not mingling.”

“You’ve known me for over three years now. I’m not one to mingle.”

“Come on, there has to be someone here you want to talk to.”

“You.”

Naomi rolls her eyes. “Mhm-hmm, you’re so charming, Dr. Ramsey.”

“I’m being very serious. Why wouldn’t I want to talk to the keynote speaker?”

When Naomi found out they wanted her to speak at the conference, she was almost certain they meant to speak to Ethan and that she accidentally answered a phone call meant for him. But they in fact wanted her, the newest and youngest head of the diagnostics team. Her meteoric rise up the ranks of Edenbrook had made quite the splash in the medical community, where everyone knew everyone. Whether she realized it or not, Naomi had become a wunderkind and everyone wanted a piece of her.

And while she was nervous, Ethan couldn’t be more proud of her. Naomi is brilliant, and it’s about time more people were rewarded with being in her presence long enough to see it.

Naomi groans and runs a hand along her midsection. “Don’t remind me that I’m giving a speech soon, my stomach is already in knots.”

Ethan holds up his tumbler of whiskey, angling the glass towards her. “Want some liquid courage?”

“No, eating or drinking might make it worse. I won’t feel better until I’m on the other side of it.”

“In the three years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen a shy bone in your body. Where are the nerves coming from?”

“I’ve never done something like this,” Naomi responds. “I’ve never given a speech in front of hundreds of people–maybe even more, this place is packed. Public Speaking is the only class I ever got a B in in college.”

Ethan gasps teasingly. “The horror.” He chuckles softly as Naomi pokes him in the rib. Moving closer, Ethan clasps a warm hand around Naomi’s shoulder, massaging gently. “You’re going to do just fine. Better than fine, even, you’re going to be amazing. You’re smart, charming, funny, and eloquent, and the directors knew what they were doing when they chose you to speak. And besides, nearly all of Edenbrook is here to support you. Lahela might’ve even snuck in a camcorder.”

It's a slight exaggeration, but a lot of physicians practicing at Edenbrook belong to the prestigious association, and did not want to miss the chance to see one of their own speak.

“Ugh don’t remind me. It’s easier speaking to a crowd of nameless, faceless people. What if I forget my speech? What if my accent becomes super obnoxious and no one can understand me? What if I trip on stage?”

“You could always picture everyone naked, I’ve been told that it helps.”

Naomi blanches at the suggestion. “No, I don’t want to picture all of these people naked.”

“Good, because that was a trick suggestion,” Ethan murmurs. He rests his forehead against Naomi’s, his lips hovering mere centimeters from hers. “The only person you should ever be visualizing sans clothing is me.”

“Lucky for me, I get to do a lot more than just visualize.”

The happy couple share a kiss before Ethan nuzzles his face into the crook of his girlfriend’s neck, whispering quiet words of encouragement and affirmation.

On the other side of the bar, a group of women watch the jarring public display of affection play out. Ethan Ramsey was notorious for hating medical conferences, never engaging or interacting with people. He was also known for being perpetually single, so to see him so open with another person felt like foreign.

“I still can’t believe the two of them are together,” Dr. Nicole Harrington whispers to her group of friends as they gawk at the pair. While she works in New York, it’s hard to not be aware of the story behind Dr. Ethan Ramsey and his young protege Dr. Valentine, especially since she’s in touch with so many Boston-based doctors. “I can’t believe Ramsey is so open with her.”

“I think they’re cute,” Nicole’s friend, Monica coos. “I’m a hopeless romantic.”

The third member of the party, Greta stays silent. She’s one of the two people within their group with actual ties to Edenbrook, her husband having been attending there for almost 8 years now. Her husband Ashland keeps her up to date on all the ins-and-outs of hospital gossip, and she knows all about Ethan’s messy entanglement with his former resident.

“He wasn’t even like this when he dated Harper Emery,” their last friend Angelica whispers. As a neurologist herself, she’s worked alongside both Ethan and Harper for a long time, and while the hospital knew of their relationship, if you weren’t looking for the extremely subtle signs, you’d never know they used to be together. For years, at that. But for some reason, Ethan can’t seem to go 5 seconds without being near Dr. Valentine. Within the walls of Edenbrook, it's becoming harder and harder to see one without the other. “And she’s Harper freaking Emery for Christ’s sake.”

The conversation pauses as someone on stage taps the mic, gathering everyone’s attention. Out of the corner of her eye, Greta watches as Ethan plants another kiss on his lover’s forehead and she disappears in the crowd before she’s introduced as the evening’s guest speaker.

Ethan doesn’t know why his girlfriend was ever so nervous because as soon as she accepts the microphone and starts to speak, he’s transfixed.

His tunnel vision is split when he hears an aggressive whisper from a few feet away. Frowning, he turns around, fully prepared to demand that whoever has the gall to interrupt Naomi’s speech should shut the hell up, but he stops when he realizes that they’re talking about her.

“She’s been a member of the AMA for what, 3 seconds and she’s already giving speeches? Are we in the freaking Twilight Zone?”

“I guess it pays to keep Ethan Ramsey’s bed warm.”

Greta scoffs, finally acknowledging the conversation. “Ashland tells me everything about the two of them, and it’s all so messy. She’s been leading him around like she’s dangling an apple in front of a horse since she got to Edenbrook. He gave her preferential treatment her intern year, and miraculously she gets the coveted fellowship on the Dr. Banerji’s team. He gets promoted, and surprise, surprise, he gives her the team, wrapped up in a neat little bow. Never mind the fact that she should be nowhere near leading a team, she killed a patient her intern year. So for him to be...parading that young girl around is tawdry and disrespectful to the hospital.”

If this was a cartoon, Ethan is almost positive his face would be very red and steam would be wafting out of his ears because that’s how angry he is. The audacity of these women to stand a mere 8 feet away from him and trash talk the woman he loves is disrespectful on so many levels.

Obnoxiously, he clears his throat, garnering their attention. The only one with the decency to look slightly embarrassed is Monica, as Ethan catches her cheeks flushing under his harsh attention.

Angelica stands up straighter, “Chief Ramsey, we were just–”

“Participating in a misogynistic diatribe against a fellow doctor,” Ethan finishes. “Question, did any of you graduate at the top of your classes from a top 10 ranked medical school?” No one dares respond. “Out of the 4 of you, did you guys save Naveen Banerji’s life while he was dying of sepsis? Have you spent your after hours holed up in the NICU with your patient’s newborn baby? Any of you face a near death experience and come back to the scene of the crime in order to help more people?”

Ethan’s eyes narrow at Angelica and Greta in particular. “When Edenbrook nearly shut down, I don’t remember seeing your face as we worked tirelessly in the free clinic Dr. Banks, nor do I recall seeing your husband Mrs. Park. I don’t remember him lobbying to politicians or attempting to secure funds during fundraisers, but I do recall seeing him show up at parties without you to flirt with nurses.”

Greta balks at Ethan’s words, clearly not expecting him to unleash such anger. “Dr. Ramsey, I’ll have you know that my husband–”

“Is spreading vicious gossip and lies about a doctor with higher ranking than him. Dr. Valentine got her spot on the diagnostics team fair and square. She was the number 1 intern so Naveen picked her. When I left the team, she was the last tenured member at the time, with the most experience in how a team of such magnitude ran. She was the best pick for the job.”

“Over the course of her time at Edenbrook, she has more than proved that she earned her seat at the table, and to suggest anything else is an insult to her strengths and talents as a doctor, as well as my judgement. To suggest that I do not know to remain professional while I’m at work and the only reason she’s in the position that she’s in is because of our private relationship isn’t just a lie, but a dangerous and slanderous one as well. And if someone so much as ever implies it again, I will slap them with a lawsuit so fast their head will spin, and the closest they’ll ever get to practicing medicine again is slapping Band-Aids on kindergarteners.”

The group of women receive a threat loud and clear And they remain silent not wanting to be at the receiving end of anymore of his wrath.

Ethan sighs heavily. “Well, now that this pesky conversation has come to an end, I’m going to continue to listen to Naomi’s speech. The one that she was hand selected to deliver, while the rest of you are in a position to do nothing more than watch from the crowds.”

With the catty group of women stunned into silence, Ethan smiles, his work complete. “Enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies.”

They watch as he downs the rest of his drink before sauntering off. Once he’s gone, Monica huffs out a shaky breath. “Well...I’ve always said there’s nothing more attractive than a man defending the woman he loves.”

~v~

Tags: @mvalentine @choicesaddict5 @professorkingslay @maurine07 @aka-calliope @bluebellot @whimsicallywayward15 @blossomanarchy @takemyopenheart @jamespotterthefirst @fanmantrashcan @whatchique @ao719 @x-kyne-x @colourmeshy @paulfwesley @the-pale-goddess @writinghereandthere @ramseyandrys @perriewinklenerdie @aworldoffandoms @thatcatlady0716 @drakewalker04 @canknot @hatescapsicum @lapisreviewsstuff @senseofduties @badchoicesposts @ethandaddyramseyx @chasingrobbie @zodiacsign1 @choices-lurker @my-heart-beats-for-ya @adrian-motherfucking-raines @riverrune @edith-eggs1 @thatysn @bellcat2010 @blainehellyes @cecilecontrera @junehiratas @choices-love-affair @openheart12 @caseyvalentineramsey @desmaranj @nazario-sayeed @aestheticartsx @ruinedbypixels @nooruleman @rookie-ramsey @uneravine @choicest

[sugar-petals]

:: random things about boyfriend yoongi

↳ ♡ NOTE I saw this format floating around the fandom and thought it was cool and sweet (just like our honey boy so here it goes) 😊  includes an sfw and nsfw bit, both can be read independently.

words. 3k

SFW

First off, Yoongi is laid-back and casually sexy the way we know him. But he also has spikes of energy where he actually gets a little clingy. Any opportunity he will use to hold hands or jump around like a madman with his gummy smile because he got excited about something that you never could predict would make him so happy. He truly is an epiphany.

He’s your most eager personal chef but funnily enough a little unsettled by onions so you end up helping him. Yoongi hates to be crying in the kitchen because of some evil little vegetable but hey, perfect time and place to spend half an hour huddled together cooking or baking. And Yoongi is secretly longing for a cheesy scene, he finds it romantic when you wipe the tears from his face.

His way of speaking to you is a mix of mumbly Korean, high-pitched pouty cat speak, and old-school English slang phrases that he learned somewhere on social media or award shows back in 2018. Most of the time he takes things seriously but is up for some joking anyway. He is sure to giggle every now and then which is really adorable of him. Yoongi is also the person who gets every nuance of your humor and reacts to it.

After being single, you really have to get used to someone waddling around the house. Like— oh, he’s there! And it’s none other than him! Since Yoongi isn’t noisy when he concentrates on his laptop, it really stands out when he morphs from his unmovable rock-like being to a slow rolling stone headed towards the kitchen from time to time. You have to blink every time. And how could you not look up, he’s walking by with his cutest oversized sweaters and striped fluffy socks.

He cannot hide things that normal people would try to keep secret — because of their own discomfort, but he is good at blocking out things that serve your comfort. I’ll explain what I mean. If you have been keeping up with Yoongi postponing the reveal of his surgery until it was successful, you know what I mean. In short, Yoongi is pretty much an automatic filter for things that disturb you. Knowing the right time and place to inform you is the key. As is disregarding things that don’t concern you as a couple, unnecessary drama and opinions. He’s really good at that without ever trying to sugar-coat the important things because he remains a frank and honest soul.

Yoongi has an easier time giving random presents for simple occasions rather than making a big deal out of traditional festivities. So, big celebrations are often kept simple — unless the rest of BTS is there advocating their ‘a little party never killed nobody’ motto — while Yoongi focuses on getting you something attentive or useful every other day pretty much. He’s still a frugal type, you know him. It’s more about inexpensive things that catch his eye because he heard you likes this or that type of snack or want this or that sofa cushion. 

There’s always something new and surprising in the fridge and it’s hardly ever empty because Yoongs takes care of the groceries, really thinking it through. Just personal chef things. Being Yoongi’s partner must be the most destressing thing. He takes responsibility for the worldly things, the ironing clothes and the trash cans. He himself thinks that’s the easiest shit ever and is ready to put time into it (he sees the merit, it drives him) while thinking your side — the sheer act of being in love with him, being there for him — must be hard. Which it isn’t. 

Yoongi thinks emotions and relationships are tough and complicated while daily life runs smoothly at the snap of a finger. You think maintenance is a drudgery while love is not the maze your boyfriend assumes it is. Deep down Yoongi thinks he’s unlovable and a bad person, that’s why he believes he doesn’t have the burden but you have. That your affection then blazes past the barriers in Yoongi’s esteem is something that he finds incredible. It catches him off guard there, you burst the bubbles of the flaws he falsely imagines he has.

You bet your ARMY bomb you’re watching cat videos together.

Guess who’s the first person to hear all of Yoongi’s upcoming hit tracks? Even Namjoon gets the first sample ten minutes later. You gotta be really advanced at keeping secrets and avoiding accidental leaks with your phone or something.

Yoongi hesitates with the analogy because it’s a little funny and you’re evidently not a steaming liquid made of beans, but he claims you really are like his daily americano. Makes his every morning better. 

Now, in all seriousness. What means the most to him is that you take him how he is and are stable company. Yoongi is afraid of betrayal and stupid games so he has to be sure to have a safe bet going. I think that’s why he fancies marriage, it’s a sign of commitment and some degree of permanence to him. And yes, he is a bit jealous in nature since he’s easily invested in someone with a purity of feeling, almost in a naive way. Yoongi easily idolizes his partner and puts a lot of energy into a bond. He wants to protect that, take the risk, and he has watched for someone who radiates genuine trust and faith. He is sure to have found it in you without any illusions and he is right. Loyalty, loyalty, loyalty.

Playing the piano for dinner or date night is a must, he practices constantly to advance to a great standard. He secretly finds a lot of satisfaction in you cooing at his skills and melodies. Those ten bony fingers gliding over the keys with such a technicality and focus, and a passion that makes you hold your breath, it’s great to watch.

Did you see that one coming? He will compose and produce a designated mixtape only for you personally. Yes, with a little self-filmed, self-cut music video for the title track. 

Now those things never see the light of day, they’re all for you. But what about your couple life once it touches the social realm? As one might expect, Yoongi is very ‘eyes turn narrow’ with people who bring disharmony to your dynamic and the relationship in general. In fact, he is grumpy and disappointed, and should someone give him a reason, distinctly brutal. If someone even attempts to test you or plays manipulative games, Yoongi is relentlessly turning them from the inside out with his words that never miss the mark. They’re efficient. As I said, he hates playing annoying games, he’ll do any shortcut and be Yoongi.

I guarantee you can lean back and will never the fazed by stupid people and time wasters again. No need to lose face. Yoongi does the dirty work and is the best possible defender to have on your side. He handles that. Invasive opinions and useless phrases he will shove right up some trashtalker’s ass and leave. Let’s squarely say he is unafraid to be a armchair critic of your and his haters and doesn’t want any of that nuisance to disturb what you have together. He cuts very quick and makes sure not to get tangled up in trouble.

Yoongi will also debunk a whole bunch of weirdos on weverse asking about your private love while he’s at it. Prepare for some very entertaining snide remarks. Oh my god, so many entitled people will be pissed off. Many will also celebrate him for stepping up. What’s actually important to Yoongi is that nobody taints what is like a treasure to him.

It won’t be hard to overlook that Yoongi is very proud of you as well. He looks confident and revering when he hangs out with the group and you’re somewhere close by, even just doing something trivial.

He’s also pretty touchy, sometimes publically to demonstrate something, but mostly in the relative calm and safety of a hotel room. When the lights are out, all barriers crash, the utter romantic takes over. His favorite types of kisses besides those onto his hands are when you kiss his lashes. And yep. Yoongs is such a cozy little spoon. A very curled up one with cute shooky pajamas on most likely.

Talk about clothes. Believe it or not, Yoongi’s fashion goes through a significant change due to the relationship. He knows that you are touchy and thinks about what kinds of flannels are the biggest cuddle magnet, after all. And oh wonder, he will also show some level of skin when he accidentally hears your praises for his arms and legs and collar bones and glowy skin while talking to a close friend of yours. So, look forward to that in summer (he still dislikes the winter cold and wraps himself into scarves twice his size, mind you) though it’s still for your eyes only, he covers up when going out. Truth be told, he enjoys when you casually touch his skin. Especially the arms. Which hold up the firmament to you, and your world, too, and guard it.

BTS will know about how excited he is about you because he often boasts about for how long you’ve been living together by now. We all know this is Yoongi’s favorite way of bragging and it further shows that loyalty, dedication and longevity is the spice to his every meal.

Yoongi is probably going to quit the bottle because you naturally make him feel at ease and upbeat. In fact, he simply forgets about his wine. I don’t have to convince you that Yoongi will be very immersed in any interaction with you whether that be watching movies or discussing his latest tracks. 

Those discussions come with extra back massages for him because he spends a lot of hours in his chair. Especially around the neck, it’s no secret that this is in every cat’s top 3 favorite massaging areas. Yoongi is gonna make some really raspy, sleepy sounds and just melt in your hands. He’s gonna sleep like a baby afterwards every time. Sometimes, he says funny and cute things while he dozes. He looks very content.

Say goodbye to the 21st century adulting annoyances in your life because Yoongi has a grip on those without a word. Those six specific chores that always plague you take him only a dozen minutes and he is eager, the forms to fill out are already sent off, the list of people to e-mail is weeded through. The taxes are paid, the bank account is full, the meals are on the table, garnished to perfection. Roof over the head, and it’s a sturdy one, Yoongi bought a sound haven house to inhabit a lot of happiness for two. 

He’s probably the only person who doesn’t see it as a loss of dignity if you want to hold on tight to him during a dentist visit as a grown ass mf. Why all of this? Yoongi cannot not strive to feel needed in his actions. He wouldn’t like himself if he couldn’t contribute something reliable and useful. That you find things worthy of your time is priority. You complement each other, what you think is a waste of energy makes him work and strive and vice versa. That way, in the end all things are taken care of.

Giving is more important than taking in Yoongi’s world. He thinks of everything because he considers it an offense to have you in a pile of duties, that is, if you don’t like ‘em. It’s his form of dedicating his efforts and showing respect. He doesn’t need much in return. The things he expects if at all don’t feel like a duty: Much like he doesn’t consider doing those acts of services for you likewise.

Work horse he is, he needs something on his daily to-do plan. Which includes making you feel unbothered by the occasions of an incoming strict world when it’s getting to you. You’re supposed to do what you feel like doing just like him and not slave away at fifty deeds. That you torture yourself with daily life hassle is the thing he dislikes seeing the most. He enjoys doing these things so he’s happy to get going.

What’s not a daily life hassle: Holly is a big fan of yours. Instant friendship. Just wanted you to know.

He always knows how to preoccupy himself and finds something to improve. Getting on your nerves, and that’s no surprise, is the last thing Yoongi will ever do. In fact, you sometimes have to search for his napping spot because he got lost somewhere in the house. 

He either sleeps or works, his philosophy is simple. If you need him, he does appear seemingly out of nowhere. And, he spends as much time with you as you enjoy, not always prioritizing his producing unless it’s urgent or he’s on an inspiration streak. Which is great anyway, you can sit next to him listening. It’s the right balance of work and play.

Yoongi is not above blatantly showing off. Actually, he goes for an act of stunning pretty often. You know how cats parade around whatever they just caught. He wants to impress you with assets and accolades and appraisals, the boy can’t help it. That you only lightly nod at most of it with a little smile will confuse him but he will get the point later on. You wanna signal Yoongi that you anchor your love for him not in shifting numbers and chunky metal pieces. 

That you don’t confuse his signs of outward worth and fame with the core of the guy you find the sweetest in the world is very important to him. He will take some time to see through that because he’s used to being loved through status and its symbols by people close and afar. 

The way you throw yourself at him to give a big smooch in random situations — especially when he doesn’t feel great about himself— rather than only when he say gets a new car is sending him a message. Again, he has to grow into that. He will retreat at the beginning because he feels worthless of your affection on days where he doesn’t feel big and bold and successful. But since he sees you jumping on him because you need only his kind and squishy presence and see him as no different than usual because he’s always Yoongi underneath, your boyfriend will change his mind about it sooner or later. He learns that your presence makes him feel like a billion dollars yourself.

You don’t wallow in the regrets of other people missing the point of Yoongi and instead focus on always understanding him rather than enabling Yoongi into wrong directions. And there are many of those, his mental health can tell you a thing or two about it. He begins to get that you really know what you’re doing and are in it for the real him which makes him feel really loved far underneath all surfaces and images. You accept his fame and admire his work with music which is what he’s truly doing it for but also don’t forget that the most vulnerable Yoongi is the one that you’re there for and not a facade.

NSFW

I know you’re curious. That Yoongi’s sexual style is more than just interesting goes without saying. To give you an idea. Anything steamy with Yoongi means him taking his time. You know, for making it quality. Yoongi wants to grow into the right balance of activity and staying relaxed. He is good at keeping cool and bringing some focus to the madness. He wants to figure out how to be more casual instead of tense and overly preoccupied which he’ll be at the start of the relationship. But the fast learner he is, his nervousness fades way faster than you think. 

Yoongi is extremely afraid that he can’t please you or starts to become awkward slash clueless so he darts to the opposite of the spectrum and overperforms, even plays a character. You have enough cool yourself to tell him what to do in the pace that works best. That he stays centered in his body is important for you to teach him. When he gets grounded and juggling his confidence is out of the equation, he fucks the best.

His favorite position besides giving oral — with you on your back — will be doggy style. Man, we gotta talk about that. Slow to upper moderate pace, nothing too all over the place. Yoongi moans very slowly, too, all drawn out. Get ready for a frequent session of some anal to unwind. You heard that right. First, Yoongi will get the two of you into the right rhythm with his hands at the sides of your waist, then, ride it out in slow mo with his right hand properly stimulating you from the front. 

By habit, he will add some lube here and there but not use insanely dripping amounts so everything gets messy or he can’t touch you without sliding off anymore. Just enough to slide well. Yoongi is so good at this I swear, it’ll be your favorite thing to relax. He has the restraint and technique to pull it off rather than pulling out, huh. Yoongi is gonna stay inside you for ages. It feels like he’s massaging every spot for some extra time. It’s amazing to slack off your muscles, cool off, and get many a gentle but fulfilling orgasm. 

He’s not gonna put you through the hassle of dealing with an anal creampie cleanup so he keeps it wrapped, and mostly focuses on your movements altogether while keeping his own climax smooth and more relieving rather than something that relentlessly knocks him out in one go. Yoongi is good at observing and doesn’t feel the need to chase a violent high which is why he is so great at sex. Fucking with Yoongi leaves a wholesome feeling and you never feel ashamed or guilty, or a sense of being dirty and ruined. 

He enjoys having sex to make you feel really good and works his hands on you very respectfully. His goal is to have you wet and pulsing after a long while of getting you there, and putting you to a good night’s sleep. He’d feel terrible if he left you sore or disturbed. He is really passionate, especially with his kisses or when you ask him to slide into very deeply, but Yoongi being brash and controlling is an image out of sight.

Besides giving you the number one heavenly assfucks, Yoongi also likes to work his tongue as we know, and he’ll work it all over. Few body parts of yours have not made contact with that glorious mouth and I say that in the best of ways. You can instruct him to do whatever, Yoongi obliges with radiant joy. And here again, he takes minutes upon minutes. Kissing and kissing and licking and maybe even teasing once or twice to make you smile. You know, a little signature wink. Honoring your skin and every shape is not something that Yoongi has to talk about, he will physically show it and I swear it’ll finally get into your head with every little move, Yoongi has totally surrendered his tongue to your body and worships it.

[creativeashproductions]

Pregnancy Test Roulette // Charlie Gillespie

Summary: As a college student living with your three best friends is the best and even better when they get along with your long-term boyfriend. However, one of your best friends decides to film a video inspired by another tiktok video. You just had to jinx yourself.

Warnings: Swearing, unplanned pregnancy, allusion to abortion (doesn’t use the actual word), college, and reader has a gender-neutral roommate and best friend named Lu.

Words: 2.4k

A/N: This inspired by a video I watched of someone announcing her pregnancy by taking a test with her friends. They each took one and put in a box to shake and hell exploded with the positive, the actual person was aware before the pregnancy roulette

Masterlist

They say your ’20s are your best years and maybe that comes from being able to bounce back from a night out with your friends. A night that turned your memory into episodic moments you could recall and others you had to guess about. Maybe it’s because you’re in the years where you aren’t under lock and key with your parents but not at the point where you’re expected to have a marriage, kids and mortgage.

It was the sweet spot in life. Now you didn’t drink as much as you did your first year, but you did enjoy the odd glass of wine occasionally—a beer with your older brother or a shot with your best friend. But more often than not you were in bliss nestled into your boyfriend’s side watching an old movie with a bucket of popcorn you had argued over who would make. However, Charlie was in Vancouver filming for Julie and the Phantoms leaving you in your house for the upcoming season. The home you shared with your three college friends to save money but not be stifled in dorms.

“I have an idea!” Sophie spoke, sliding into the living room in her thick socks with duckies on them. Her sudden appearance received both Alice and your attention from the movie Bad Moms playing.

Sophie’s recently dyed blue hair concealing her face from you as she flipped the long strands from her hair. Her bright brown eyes glittering with the same happiness that typically exuded from her.

“What’s this idea?”

“Where’s Lu?” Sophie inquired scanning for them in the room, “Did they have a date?”

“Nah, I’m right here Phee,” Lu announced their presence from the kitchen island going over work emails.

Sophie quickly dragged them from the counter to Alice and you on the couch with a box in her hands. Everyone in the room shared a look as the blue-haired girl went into one of her tangents that could continue indefinitely.

“Phee, calm down. What do you want to do?” Lu questioned whereas Alice had leaned forward to grab a look at the box.

“I think the best question is: what does it have to do with the box of pregnancy tests in your hand?” Alice asked flicking her ocean blue eyes at the girl sheepishly looking at the group, “Do you think you’re pregnant?”

“What! No! I thought it would be hilarious to take a test each and put in the box.” Sophie replied, pursing her lips together with a pleading look in her eyes, “Plus I wanna know how you do it…?”

You sighed with a shake of your head, “You saw this on Tiktok. We’re all damn careful at preventative measures. There’s no harm in taking the test. Hand one over.”

Sophie was quick to hand you a test along with the rest of the group before splitting off to the attached bathroom to your master suite room. You hadn’t even fought for the room when you moved in your sophomore year of college. Lu had been quick to announce that as the only one in a relationship Charlie would be over and they didn’t want a show.

The instructions were straight forward enough you had capped the test brought it the hallway to drop in the box held by Sophie. The camera catching everyone as they did so. Lu followed with their test followed by Alice, and you wandered back to your seat in the living room.

“Is there a reason you made us pee on sticks?” You inquired grabbing one of the decorative pillows Alice had bought. It was mostly Alice’s touch that brought the living room together with her minor in interior design.

“I thought it would be fun.” Sophie simply shrugged joining Lu on their couch, leaving Alice back in her seat.

The movie still paused as per Sophie’s request, so no one forgot about the tests waiting to be revealed. You had no clue why it mattered to not forget about them, as you had said before. Everyone had a pact to keep up on contraceptive, hell there’s a box near the hallway filled with condoms. Everyone just added a few to the box if it was lower than twenty squares.

“Okay.” Lu trailed off, clicking their fingers on the phone in their hands. Their attention is easily taken away from the game Sophie wanted.

Sophie was always jumping on trends on Tiktok, a few even before they became real trends, so this wasn’t anything new. Sophie even had a few viral videos on the app that sometimes took all her attention for a few hours. That being said, you weren’t overly scared about the outcome.

“Ooh, Charamader is calling.” Lu snorted leaning overseeing the cheesy photo of Charlie kissing your cheek. His contact photo in your phone had been taken by Luk as well.

“One moment.” You told Sophie with her wide eyes pointedly staring at the box on the coffee table littered with magazines, “It will be a second!”

Sophie waved you off to the kitchen where you clicked on the green button.

“Hey!” Charlie beamed from the kitchen on the apartment he shared with Owen during filming. His wide eyes crinkled by the grin he wore, “What’s new? How was that exam?”

“I think I did a lot better than I had expected.” You admitted to the Canadian guy brushing the hair away from his face. He had to recut to Luke’s style when filming for the new season happened.

“I told you!” Charlie cheered, flipping his gaze from his phone to the pan he was carefully inspecting, “How lucky am I? My girl is going to graduate with a fancy degree! I’ll be front row when it happens.” 

“Just as I will be right there when you win an Oscar.” You teased your boyfriend as Sophie loudly counted down from the living room. Charlie’s attention was drawn to the trio of your best friends waiting.

“Did I pull you away from something?” Charlie’s brown brows furrowed as he mentally went over the plans you had informed him of.

There wasn’t a single plan he remembered so he relaxed marginally when the fear of missing something faded.

“Sophie’s made us do this video for TikTok. We’re halfway through-“

“Hey Charlie, she’ll call you back. We had pregnancy tests to check!” Sophie interrupted ending the video call with your boyfriend.

Both Charlie and you frantically talking as Sophie ended the call with that bomb and not clarifying further on it. To take it further, the blue-haired beauty pocketed your phone as well to avoid her video being interrupted.

You had no doubt the Canadian actor was freaking the fuck out that you were taking a pregnancy test. If he was spamming your phone, Sophie wasn’t reacting to the vibrating other than to aggressively point over to the couch.

“Just text him,” Sophie grumbled throwing your phone back at you when the line formed between her eyebrows. The frustration of Charlie overcoming her excitement for the video.

“PREGNANCY TEST?” Charlie screamed as soon as you accepted his phone call, “Am I missing something?”

“Sophie wanted to do a video of Alice, Lu, her and I took one. We’re good.” You soothed the ruffled feathers of the male who released a gasp.

“Sophie, you gave me a heart attack. Holy shit, I just about knocked Owen unconscious.” The man in question was speaking, but you couldn’t hear the words he spoke, “What! I thought my girl needed me!”

“I’m Charlie but I won’t if I don’t end the call-“

“We can mute the call.” Charlie interrupted dancing on the balls of his feet with anticipation in his blood even if you had denied being pregnant, “This sounds like-”

“Nice try Gillespie. Y/N will call tomorrow, it’s roomie night.” Lu spoke before ending the call for you just like Sophie had, “AS much as I like the dude, this is getting interesting.”

You simply shared a look with Alice as Sophie expertly stationed the camera to get everyone, Alice was the one to shake the box again. Each of you was given a test to hold with snickers falling from lips. Lu’s hand ran through the recently chopped hair while Alice repositioned her body on the floor.

“Okay…one, two, three.” Sophie calmly spoke before flipping her test around. Everyone followed suit.

“Negative.” You informed the group. Lu was quick to announce the negative in her hand.

Sophie simply shook her head before everyone turned to Alice, “Alice?”

 The brunette pixie-haired girl stared at the test before she lunged for the box, “What’s a positive?”

“Why-“

“The test is positive!” Alice snapped shakily reading the instructions as she gripped the test in her hand. Her lips mouthed the words she read with a speed that greatly impressed you.

Everyone was huddled around her after Sophie had ended the video in pure shock, reading the test that very much said positive. Your lips parted in stunned silence sitting back on your heels just as Sophie did.

“Who’s test is it?!” Sophie exclaimed roughly running her hand over her face, “Holy shit.”

“Not mine.” Lu informed the group with a nervous smile on their face, “The last person I was with was Susan from Statistics.”

That left three people.

“Eliminate the options.” You breathed looking at Alice, “Wasn’t the last guy you were with a few weeks ago? Jas or something from-“

“Jasper from my Mythology course, but that was like four months ago! I’ve been swamped with classes and work.” Alice spoke with a small smile, “He was terrific. I should see if he’d like to grab a- “

“Not the time Alice!” Sophie screeched frantically looking around the room, “Oh my god, what about you?”

Sophie’s eyes came down on you with a pleading look in her eyes at this very sudden twist on her once innocent game. Your mind went over the last few months, but you were blanking at every opportunity.

“I can’t. Shit. I need to call Charlie.” You grumbled tapping the screen of the phone, “Alice, can you go grab a box of tests from the store? We used all of them.”

“-grab as many as possible!” Sophie cried, shaking in her slippers and cosy clothing. This was not how she had expected the night to go.

“I thought it was roomie night.” Charlie spoke as soon as the phone connected, “Something wrong?”

“When was the last night we had sex?” You inquired, leaving the man in Canada to choke on his beer.

In Vancouver sharing a beer with Owen with a film that had interested the pair playing Charlie hadn’t expected your call. Owen barely blinked at the interruption when the movie was fascinating, but he did turn when he heard Charlie choke.

“W-what?” Charlie coughed wiping his chin with the back of his hand, “Is this some weird part of a card game-“

“Charlie, when was the last time we had-“

“Jesus, I stayed the night before we left for the airport two months ago? We had a quickie in the bathroom at the airport as well.” Charlie scrunched his face recalling the lack of time he had been physical with you. His face turning red with Owen’s full attention on the flustered Canadian actor.

“Everything good?” Owen asked his best friend but only received a wave off.

“You sound scared. Is everything okay?” Charlie now demanded while your lips parted to ask if it was possible the condoms you used broke. The frantic breathing of Alice interrupted you, however.

Your e/c eyes found the pixie-haired girl leaned over, catching her breath with the box in her hands. Without thinking, your phone fell from your fingers as you lunged to the box with three tests. Alice had thought ahead and bought a box each for you and Sophie.

“Sophie’s waiting in the living room. Lu’s got her.” Alice softly told you both deaf to the two males on the phone, “I’ll be right here.”

“Thank you, Alice.” You choked marching into the bathroom, “If it’s me…I-“

 “If you’re the one pregnant, then this baby will be blessed if you decide to continue the pregnancy. If you don’t, I’m right here for you. If you’re not pregnant, we can do a couple shots.” Alice squeezed your hands unintentionally, sending Charlie into a frantic moment once more.

Your feet stopped suddenly remembering you hadn’t hung up the phone with Charlie, “Fuck.”

Alice, already reading the situation, tossed your phone to you with a smile as she sat on your bed. With a thankful one sent back, you entered the bathroom with your thumb, clicking the FaceTime button.

“This is the second time!” Charlie exclaimed scanning the background for one of your roommates, “I thought you weren’t pregnant!”

“So did I! Until one of four tests turned out positive, and now I have three more tests I need to pee on!” You exclaimed, “I jinxed us! I literally said how all of us are so good keeping up with preventative measures!”

“Apparently not as well.” Owen spoke, shoving his head over Charlie’s shoulder to see you with his kind smile, “Can you take three slow but deep breaths for me?”

With a few words coaching your breathing, you calmed down enough to mute the call and turn the phone to the ceiling for your privacy. Once the toilet was flushed, tests capped waiting on the counter, and your hands washed, you turned back to the call.

“What’re we gonna do Char?” You sobbed with a deep ache to be in his arms just as he felt the same, “We don’t live together! How can we do this!”

As Owen had led you through the calming breathing, Charlie had dug deep to calm down eternally for you. He found clarity even in the storm of being terrified and somewhat guilty, which he knew was misplaced.

“If you’re pregnant I’ll be there for you. No matter what, I will be there for you. If we keep the baby, we will rock parenting. We have friends and our family.” Charlie soothed you with his pretty hazel eyes glittering at you, “We’ve been together since we were eighteen. We’ve talked about marriage and kids.”

“Should I le-“

“You can stay.” You softly told Owen who squeezed Charlie’s shoulder while you sat in silence with Alice quietly sitting by your side.

Alice’s hand grabbed yours in comfort and support, waiting for the minutes to end and when they did you cried.

Separated in different countries you and Charlie took in the news that there was, in fact, a child on the way. Charlie’s lips parted in glee as he easily read the excitement in your facial expressions amid the fear.

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