#I gotta make a proper character sheet lol

[paninay0]

look at my arctic bunny doctor and phantom in love! wow, I love love. I’m gonna finally post about them after 3 years of having this doctor lmao

[athanasius-symposium-of-writings]

NSFT Alphabet: Matthias Czernin

Does my little dance while screaming

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Let the man recover first! No really, he needs a second to recover and come back to reality. He would be very into bathing right after, he will though enjoy skinship and needs to be given affection from you.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Matthias, after the fire burns half of his body, tries not to think about it. Bad enough looks at Louis who looks perfectly undamaged while he is ugly. You have to tell him what you like about him, sit him down, and tell him your favorite parts of him. On you though, he likes your legs. Idk he seems like a legs or thighs guy

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

I don't think he's a cum inside guy, he can when lost in the moment, but he rather cum on you so he can wipe it off or cum on the sheets that need to be changed anyway

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he would like dollification, listen, something about the control and trust you give that he can appreciate. He could dress you up, put the proper makeup on, tying you to the rope to hold you in place. The process is probably what gets him going before even the play starts, admiring his work.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Virgin, sorry not sorry taking his virginity 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Would say riding or doggy style depending on his mood but also a mating press (i think it hot dbbdbd)

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Serious but he might laugh a bit if you are the type to be really happy during sex. It is endearing 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I think cuz of the fire he has no hair (though i think he was one a bush not groomed)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Matthias prob is the romantic type but he has no experience in this field so be patient with him. Give him a chance, he is trying.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I think he has out of curiosity but then just didn't do it again because he couldn't cum and it annoyed him

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Dollification but also body worship (giving). But also he probably no idea what kinks are until you lol

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom, he is a private person

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Idk whatever plot i makeup tbh

He would try impact play but the second he hit too hard that was enough for him

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Giving. He needs to work up to receiving because of his dislike towards his body.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He is a building-up kinda guy but if you catch him on one of his bad days, he can be fast and rough. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

No, and yes, you get the quickies on him. Blowing him because you definitely can have an oral fixation around him

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

He is willing to try anything so long as you respect when he says no 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

One or two rounds, listen HE IS TRYING gotta edge him

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He would like using toys on you only but you could try it on him when he is comfortable with trying to be submissive 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He has to edge you, you outlast him and he needs you to crumble

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Matthias tries to be quiet but is actually very vocal, very flustered when you point it out too

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Matthias is naturally dominant but he is giving. I say naturally because he needs something he can control, something stable that won't force him to change unless he allows it. But he does become open to be the giving submissive, now he is giving you his trust and control over him. It helps to praise him through it too, he needs that reassurance from his partner that he doesn't have to be perfect. Matthias has to be shown he can enjoy himself without worry.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's good just let him fuck you okay

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I don't think at first he has a high sex drive, it is probably very low. It's about average when you become his partner though

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Out like a light lol but it is the best sleep of his life.

[iaus]

hey !! i just read one of your fics and wanted to say you’re a fantastic writer !! since i only read the one i wanted to ask more about your fhsona freyja? if you wanted to talk about her at all, if not then just know you’re really good at description lol

oh my god you're so sweet!! 💕 i will happily overshare about them. ngl i was absolutely inspired by mr oyama making the craziest barbarian build and i'm like.... obsessed with barbarians at the moment so i was like. what is a batshit multiclass i could do that would be really funny. (landed on bard/barbarian)

i cannot draw worth a damn so i used a picrew but i did fill out a whole fhsona sheet for them.

also attached the tweets that were attached this image because i think. it really sells the jace madness i was starting to fall into

all the text is so small on the sona sheet because i was editing it on my laptop after eli (my DM friend) was like you should make a fhsona!!

when i made them i basically had this. mental image of a regina george-esque character combined with that text post (which i know is on my blog SOMEWHERE) but is just "imagine a passive-aggressive barbarian" and thus. freyja came into existence.

but to just kinda round up the tiny text that is SO hard to read:

Class: Senior (Whispers Bard / Wild Magic Barbarian)

Age: 19 / Pronouns: They/Him / Race: Firbolg

Family: Single mom + Grand parents / Middle child of 5 + helps take care of cousins on the weekends

Heroic Deed: Saved some middle schoolers from a demon someone summoned during summer break.

Personal Facts:

-> Started out in bard classes; transferred to barbarian at the end of sophomore year. (note: in my own head i feel like they started having issues with rage, combined with the wild surges everyone was like..... no you gotta transfer out of bard classes for your safety and your classmates safety.) -> Held back junior year for punching a teacher. (Note: while yes this would 100% get a student expelled, i feel like aguefort would be like. this is a fine example of what a passionate adventurer SHOULD be we can just repeat the year and call it good right :D also i still think it would be funny. it's still jace in my head. maybe porter. but i think porter would keep that under wraps because he'd be like. ah yes. a proper barbarian.) -> Tavern brawler feat -> Pastel emo mean girl -> Uses bard spells for evil (gossip) -> Works part time as a barista when not babysitting their cousins. Tells you how you want your coffee.

in my mind's eye freyja's a junior (for the second time) when tbk are freshmen and has HUGE beef with both porter and jace and is probably known for just straight up walking out of class after picking arguments with porter.

i think, despite the fact that they are extremely aggro towards specific teachers, they graduate without issue in tbk's sophomore year and during spring break probably would vandalize porter's office. for funsies for their senior prank.

also ngl i like. really want to make a teacher fhsona because i think i would get REALLY into that

[turtleduckrabbit]

DAY 3+4: With Other OC + Cosplaying

guess what dumb dumb forgot what Oriana looked like (both skeleton+human), didn't have her reference sheet anymore, + forgot I had her drawings uploaded on this blog (=_=")

(EDIT: HOLY FREAKING I JUST REALIZED I GOT ORIANA'S OUTFIT WRONG DEAR LORD HELP ME I AM SO BUTT AT THIS!??!!?)

Drawing 1 is just sum simple lineart w/ some pop colors (so it doesn't look too bland lol) and Drawing 2 is a speed sketch that I miiiight base color just for funsies heehee~

Anywayss~ here's my babies + Hatsune Shiro-ku <3

im sorry oriana i forgot abt u yet again ( 〃．．) but its ok ill draw up a whole gallery of u one day to make up for it heehee~

i 100% plan on fully finishing the shiro and oriana drawing one day, cuz i wanna render it SOOO BADLY i think they're ADORABLE together!!

Here's another Fun Fact about Shiro~! Shiro has a canon height and it is 168 cm, which is sadly.. taller than kenz </3

Lmk if you'd like sum Oriana dumps because boy... she's been in my basement too long and i gotta give her a proper character besides making her a blank slate! >:L

[viralesmater]

Character Info Sheet

name ; Elizabeth Anne Greene

name meaning ; Elizabeth has hebrew origins, meaning "God's Promise" or "God is my oath". Anne is French in origin, meaning "grace". The Greene surname has old Saxon (from the Old English 'grene') and Norse roots, common throughout England and Ireland.

alias/es ; Codename: MOTHER, or Liz. you can make up a nickname for her but there's no guarantee she'll like it.

one  picture you like best of your chara: gotta go with her in game pic with the long hair, i love her honestly.

three h/cs you've never told anyone: HMMM let's see...

a lil tmi but she no longer has a period! her body has stopped aging, and with that her cycle no longer happens! even if it did, any tissue she would normally expel would be recycled by her body as biomass. by this logic, she's no longer able to reproduce the 'old fashioned' way, meaning Pariah was her one and only child.

i know i've said this before, but Liz has a big soft spot for children. she tends to watch after kids if they're separated from their parents/guardian, and protects them from Infected. she will lead them to their guardians or to the proper authorities when she finds them, and will be uncharacteristically gentle and kind to them.

I kinda like the idea that Redlight has some similarities to human Rabies, since its a zombie virus and it spreads through bites/bodily fluids. Redlight also increases the carrier's body temp and causes aggression, which is something rabies does! also Liz bit General Randal to spread her infection before she could spread it by touch.

three things your character likes doing in their free time ;

she's a bit of a people watcher, so that's what she does most days when she's not hunting for biomass. she also likes to window shop, mostly to see what's 'fashionable' so she can shift herself to match.

eight people your character likes / loves ; mmmm she doesn't have anyone like this yet tbh! well, no that's a lie, she kinda likes @iobartach's Miguel! she's more like a mentor to him at this point, but yeah she kinda trusts him! also her son, if she ever finds him! everyone else is on thin fuckin ice lol.

Collectively all ship partners, children, and OC friend connections ;

again, @iobartach's Miguel is currently the closest she has to a friend. her only child is Pariah, though I do have an au idea of her basically adopting a child that was abandoned. she doesn't really have ships atm but I'm not really focused on that right now, tbh.

two things your character regrets: hmm... she regrets some of the things she did when she was insane:

mostly that she didn't use her power at the time to search for her son, and taking Dana from Alex, causing him to go after her more.

two phobias your character has ;

Water! like Alex, she's very dense. her body being made of compressed biomass makes her incredibly heavy, and being underwater is very uncomfortable! also hydrophobia being a symptom of Redlight which I think is similar to rabies makes sense!

hospitals and everything to do with them! so needles and machinery included! she hates any and all sterile environments, and will avoid them if she can. they remind her of her time at Gentek and she'd rather not relive any of those memories.

Tagged by: Stole it from @iobartach! Tagging: anyone who wants to!

[linkslastbraincell]

IDK why I have such Strong Opinions about the Hateno House Debate BUT for what it's worth;

my problem with the switch of Link's house becoming Zelda's house is that there's no in-game text I've seen referring to them living together, unless you interpret her saying Link never leaves her side that way, which would work for me, BUT the only thing that's really Link's is at the bottom of Zelda's secret well-lab that I'm pretty sure she mentions is also hidden from Link. I saw someone reference the Champion's Ballad picture in the house, too, but those were also Zelda's friends so of course she'd have it up. So I wish that chest was in the bedroom or main room so it felt more like Link actually lived there-- tbh my presumption was that before totk Link literally slept outside like a watch dog, cause it seems like the kind of thing a feral golden retriever like him would do. Like,they have a twin size bed? You cannot tell me neither of them flail in their sleep. If they both slept in that bed they'd wake up tangled in the sheets each sporting a black eye. And I think it's kinda sad if Zelda just like. Never pushed him to customize his own space. Idk I just want them to actually get to be people between games. ANYWAY all that is to say it doesn't matter because I'm assuming either the devs don't view Link as a character, he's just a guy that gets dropped into the world as an avatar for the player, and/or they want you to make up your own mind. So like whatever live ur zelink dreams! BUT the whole reason I'm writing this is BECAUSE I HATE. THE DREAM HOUSE!! LOL. So I'm like if they lived together, what's even the point of the dream house? I'm guessing the idea was either a) well if you want your own customizable space here it is, or b) if you prefer to think of them as friends, here! You can give Link his own house! But because it's such a big game the dream homes.... are terrible. They're ugly. They're depressing. I'm sticking my poor traumatized blorbo in a bunch of shipping containers and hoping he doesn't worsen his depression with vitamin D deprivation. And the decor is.... awful. Like don't get me wrong, I like the little pre-furnished rooms. But if you're gonna give me a house and a yard that big to customize you gotta give me like. Minecraft or animal crossing levels of customization because the landscaping is depressing as hell. I wanna be able to add windows and pots and tables and gardens I design myself, not buy a room pre-furnished. So, as a non-game dev who didn't break their back making this game and is instead enjoying back-seat designing from the comfort and ignorance of my home pc, what do I suggest? I wish!!! they let us!!!! Add on to the Hateno house!!! Wanna give Link his own space? Add a bed room for him. Add a storage room for his weapon displays. Upgrade the paddock. Add a shrine statue if you're too lazy to go into town proper! I really loved the landscaping of the old spot so the new one feels pretty sad to me (though don't get me wrong, the pond below the cliff he lives on is so cute, I love that spot). I wish we could at least add flowers and a proper pond to the main yard lol. Anyway I hope they get the chance to add more to the dream home if they wind up doing DLC despite their announcement to the contrary, but I understand the game is already a LOT of ideas and they aren't going to touch up all of them.

[stargatenerd]

Hello all, this is ostensibly my writing blog, though most of what you’ll find is things I’ve reblogged to use as references for writing or interesting ideas or pictures that I liked the vibes of. Things I post (both random thoughts as well as random snippets) will be tagged with “words from the nerd”, and posts regarding my various fics will be tagged with both the fic title and its abbreviation if it has one.

Feel free to ask me questions about my stories, but be polite.

List of things I’m working on under the cut, stories linked are to the versions of them on AO3 so you will need to be signed in to read them as I have them locked to registered users to prevent bot scraping. Please read the tags as some of these are fairly mature.

Current projects:

Shrinking Violets — MHA, Shinzawa-centric, omegaverse, underage arranged marriage (but nothing happens between them for a while) - feel free to ask me worldbuilding questions about this for my worldbuilding doc :3 Updates every two weeks.

Venus Conjunct Pluto in Scorpio — Hannibal/MHA fusion; ShinzawaMic with Hizashi as Hannibal, Shouta as Will, and Hitoshi as Abigail for a lovely little Murder Family <3 Very slow burn and does not stick to Hannibal canon except for some spots where it does. Can be read with little to no knowledge of Hannibal as a whole. Updates about once a month.

Color Seeping Through My Cracks — MHA, Yakuza soulmate AU, ShinzawaMic. Yakuza duo ShinMic find their soulmate in barista/waiter Aizawa and take in him and his totally legally adopted daughter. Updates about once a month.

Turning Tables — MHA, Shinzawa, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. Seriously. Read the tags. Teen serial killer Shinsou gets kidnapped by more experienced (in every way) Aizawa. Updates sporadically.

In the drafting stage:

Parallelism — OC-centric, my Stargate OCs from SG-13 (Muki, Tyler, and Kira) get reincarnated in MHA and make friends. Worldbuilding abounds.

A sequel to Three Sheets to the Wind (in a bed for two) — MHA, genderbent Shinzawa, the morning after.

On the back burner (projects I intend to get to once I finish at least one of my current fics):

Schismatic — DCMK, originally KaiShin, now KaiShinHei. Set after Movie 13, my first attempt at writing dark!fic. A member of the Black Org finds out Conan is Shinichi and tries to protect him in dubious ways. Gotta figure out where I was going with the end of the plot (bc I have the middle plotted out) and write that.

Shadow Bride — RotG, BlackIce with genderbent Jack. AU where she and Pitch meet a couple hundred years ago and become friends, then eventually a couple. Finishing up the last few chapters.

A Wonderful World (of Magic) — Hetalia/HP, England becomes the History of Magic teacher during Harry’s sixth year, not HBP compliant. No longer write for either of these fandoms due to various reasons, but I have a rough outline of plot points and how it was going to end so I’m going to flesh that out for basically a summary draft of how the story ends.

SG-13 proper — Stargate SG-1/Atlantis, my OC team and their hijinks, mostly set during/on Atlantis. Might possibly rewrite it as a whole, might just write the parts that are vaguely referenced in Parallelism bc it’s changed plots so many times over the years with so many fandom crossovers and now I’ve swung back around to it being fully Stargate focused and all three of my characters have gone through a lot of development and I want to share that with everyone <3

On the counter, off to the side (who knows when this will happen):

The Universe of the Four Tanteis — DCMK/Fushigi Yuugi, members of the Fushigi Yuugi cast get reincarnated as DCMK characters. Gotta slap together a rough outline of where I remember the story going so I can post that and be done lol

In the Arms of Death — DCMK, veeery vaguely remember the plot I was going for with this one, I want to slap together an outline for readers and in case anyone wants to adopt it bc I think it’s a cool concept.

Hope’s Child — RotG/HP crossover, Bunnymund adopts Harry, JackBunny. I don’t write HP anymore but I have a sort of vague idea where everything was going for this fic so I might put together an outline for readers or just put it up for adoption ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Houseguest — RotG, pre-movie Tooth finds an injured Jack and takes him in. Apparently I started drafting a second chapter for this? Might finish it.

Stop Poking Logic-Shaped Holes in my School! — DCMK/HP, was pending a rewrite but since I no longer write HP I’m waffling on what to do with this. Pending decision.

A Beautiful Relationship — DCMK, KaiShin and HakuHei, a continuation years later from my oneshot A Beautiful Friendship. Might continue this, might post an outline; haven’t decided.

Love in G Major — Hetalia, USUK, PruCan, Giripan and a host of other ships, Nyotalia human high school AU. Had a vague idea of some plot points so might post that in case someone wants to adopt it.

Cardgate — YGO/Stargate crossover, I know I have like half a chapter in a notebook somewhere that I never posted, so I think I’ll finish that chapter and then post an outline lol

Relics of the Tau’ri — Hetalia/Stargate crossover, might post an outline of where the story was headed.

Magical Cicadas — Higurashi/HP crossover, Higurashi characters get reborn as HP characters. I have a chapter or two of this in a notebook somewhere that I’ll post once I find it.

[danibunii]

Aa-

I have like zero patience, and yet I really wanna learn how to animate

Life is pain

Anyways' have an oc I redesigned

You'll never see what she initially looked like :)

Anyways, her name's Dawn.

And apparently, an incubus is actually just a top list demon, not a male..

Why I mention that? Because that is what she is ^^

Dawn, the female incubus!...

Beyond that, I don't really know anything about her, lol

I mean, I kind of made her be a bit mean with mannerism and speech and stuff because why not.

:|

Gotta make a proper character sheet for her

[fandom-blackhole]

I want our beautiful au to be my final thesis 😭

Let me start with this little bonus introducing extra characters

When the kids are older, Rex is best buddies with this young sub teacher Skywalker

Cody has this hate-love relationship with his english teacher, Mr. Kenobi,

Cody has to write new essays every week which he hates,

But at the same time he really likes Mr. Kenobi because he trolls other teachers lmfao,

Mr. Kenobi cheerfully greeting the school Janitor Mr. Grevious saying hello there every time he sees him, even for the 12th time on the same day (lol I just imagined their rots fight but instead of lightsabers mega clanker wields mops),

Miss Tano is the coolest PE teacher ever!

Din is secretly loaded with money,

Of course he is not Boba-wealthy, duh, he is just a kindergarten teacher,

But he is a frugal, simple man, won't even treat his poor truck with some proper fixing,

And also, okay, I am not sure about this, you'd be a judge, but I kinda wanted to incorporate Din being the Mand'alor into our universe. I was thinking maybe something like big inheritance from his late parents idk you tell me baby, you have the galaxy brain, not me. Or let's just scratch that idea.

Anyways, Din won't hesitate on spending money on you, kids or doggo,

He got Grogu a portable cage/terrarium thingy(do those even exist lol) for his frog, because Grogu would keep on hiding his little green friend in his pocket,

Grogu once or twice sneaked the frog into the classroom,

One day you all had a family gathering at Paz', everything was great until one of the customers started acting out,

There was this middle aged, read headed woman just being the biggest Karen on Earth,

You needed to calm Boba instantly because he was ready to shoot her on sight lol,

Din brings out all the children for his weekly reading at the local library,

Big bear Paz practicing yoga???,

Also wanted to teach you some of the poses but he got too distracted by your body being so flexible and tiny,

Omg, also he was so afraid of holding your newborn baby girl,

But then omg Big Boy Paz and smol bundle of joy in his arms 😭😭😭,

You once jokingly said to Paz that you weren't sure if you put on some weight because of him spoiling you with desserts or if it was due to something else 🤭,

Din, being a tiddies man ans having a breeding kink would have lactation kink as well, change my mind 🥴,

But imagine him shyly admiting to you that he'd like to try your milk, umm or no maybe I've gotten too carried away here,

I'm gonna hide in the corner now - 🐣

Jesus Christ, you are on point as always....

Ok so first off the Rex and Cody thots are so cute....

Rex may be close with Mr. Skywalker, but his favorite teacher is definitely Ms. Tano

Cody definitely gets into sass matches with Mr. Kenobi

Yoda is the principal of the highschool?

So as for Din, what if he becomes the new superintendent of the school district?

Like it pays more than just a teaching position, so that could be why he gets more money, and he gets a position of authority

Idk, those are just my thoughts

Now on to the other stuff.....

What if Din just bought Grogu one of those back packs that have a clear bubble for cats

He was just tired of him trying to take the frog with them everywhere, and he was scared he might accidentally hurt his beloved pet

Now Grogu tries to take the frog everywhere in the backpack

Din totally gathers all of kids up and packs them into his truck for library story time

Rex and Cody totally always help Grogu pick out books to checkout each week

Din and lactation, yes, just yet

The second you start complaining about your breasts being sensitive, he instantly starts staring just staring at your books more

Then as he after the birth of your first kid he asks shyly if you would let him try your milk too

He will get carried away if you don't stop him...

Now, Paz doing yoga is very 🥵🥵🥵

But imagine him doing push ups with you on his back

Or him doing crunches, and lifting his legs as you sit on his feet and giving you quick pecks on your lips

Or him doing hip thrusts while you straddle his thighs (this one can be done with or without clothing)

OMG, Paz fucking into your thighs and making you cum from the head of his cock pounding your clit over and over

Ok I gotta stop, I'm over heating.....

How did you stop Boba from shooting the lady in Paz’s, you grabbed his thigh before standing up and telling her to fuck off this is a family restaurant and they don't need her shit

She slapped you and you just twisted her arm behind her back and lead her out of the restaurant before marching back in

Boba just smirks and kisses you before saying, that was the sexiest thing he has ever seen you do

You then get dragged back to his penthouse and you are thoroughly wrestled into Boba's black silk sheets

Okay, I will be going to take a cold shower now....

(SEND ME THOTS!!!)

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

i can't believe i didin't even notice this before until ur last post, but the IRONY of Disney putting Quackerjack in videogames but not making an action figure of him XD imagine him finding out about this lol

I'd imagine that would be a waking nightmare fore him, lol.

In an alternate timeline, we might not have had all these in addition to "Disney Heroes Battle Mode":

But then maybe 1992 would have let this thing see the light of day, and I'd instead be taking photos of this PVC figurine all the time out in my yard for Tumblr Icon images, and the thing would probably smell like old Play-doh and bar soap because I would have been covering the darn thing with the stuff as a kid instead of my Lion King Burger King toys

The sculpt on this looks incredible for its time and I'm genuinely miffed this entire wave didn't see fruition, because the translucent Liquidator figure looked pretty bomb too.

Really, I find it humorous in an ironic way that despite QuackerJack being a considerably significant "incidental character" (according to the stamp on his model sheets), he really does not get much recognition outside the series proper aside from video game appearances because when you use one Fearsome member, you gotta use them all.

He doesn't appear in the intro of the show. He doesn't appear much in promotional material unless he's a focal character of the story. And it's incredibly difficult to find retro collectibles, with the only one I've been able to really obtain is the St. Vincent and Grenadines stamp... I've seen images of a Play-doh molding plate and some collectible cards, but anything like shirt graphics and collector pins didn't come about until recent years, likely due to fan demand.

Interestingly, the comics have the exact opposite effect, as not only does his involvement act as a linchpin for the plot, but there is a LOT of comic covers, variant or otherwise, that put a big focus on QuackerJack popping in for a cameo even if he doesn't have any appearance in the actual issue pages.

I'm just saying... QuackerJack really needs a collectable figure, he's well overdue. Heck, at this point, I'll be happy with Funko making a Pop Vinyl. He'd look lovely next to my Megavolt Pop.

Why do I keep latching onto characters who have virtually no merch, this is like the eighth time this has happened, lol

[killemwithkawaii]

Yeah I fixed the neck thing in my scar ref drawing. I had a pokygon figure for it and everything. I'm getting markers soon so everything will be fully colored after that and blood and bullet scars won't look like moles anymore.

I know you already liked it on twitter but I drew a Grace ref too

Grace was drawn at midnight and it shows, but I'm redrawing once I get proper supplies

------------------

A Note From K.E.W.K.:

>Nice! I hope you'll have the new markers in time for October, you're going to need them~ >:3c

>You're really inspiring me to make some character sheets of my own! I gotta say, I was expecting Nurse Grace to be holding something a little different behind her back, but you gotta love a girl who always keeps you guessing (I also dig all of Tobys scars and his mismatched socks)👌

>Draw whenever the inspiration hits you man~ Personally, I like to get the rough stuff done at night and polish it up after I get a fresh look at it in the morning (that, or I hyperfocus all night and post the finished product around 2-3am while I'm half asleep lol). I'm looking forward to seeing these all inked and colored :D

[dvp95]

can’t breathe when you touch my sleeve - chapter 9

pairing: dan howell/phil lester

rating: e

warnings: none

tags: alternate universe, slow burn, fluff & humour, tiny bit of inner turmoil wrt sexuality but trust me it’s not that deep, deeper than anticipated but still not that deep y'all this is primarily silly, eventual smut, idiots in love

word count: 6,538 for this chapter (41,509 total)

summary: Dan keeps making a fool of himself in interviews, to the point where it’s basically a meme. Now he’s got to sit down for the better part of an hour and sell his show to the YouTuber he’d had a massive crush on when he was a teenager.

read from the beginning on ao3 or on tumblr!

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

Dan wakes up alone. He's stretched out on Phil's sheets, mostly on his stomach, and he buries his face in a pillow to hide from the afternoon sunlight streaming through Phil's small windows. He listens carefully, but he can't hear Phil shuffling around the room or anything.

He's not overly worried, really. This is Phil's place. It would be next level weird for him to cut and run.

Sure enough, when Dan blinks away the spots in his vision and looks around the flat, he sees a sticky note on Phil's headboard. Had to go to work! Won't say your name on the radio lol, it says, and Dan feels a surge of fondness and embarrassment.

He rolls onto his back and rubs at his face, trying to wipe the stupid grin off even though nobody's here to see it. He grins wider when he remembers that someone else is here, actually.

"Thor," he calls out, not bothering to sit up. "C'mere, buddy!"

The jangling of Thor's collar and the rapid taps of his claws on the hardwood floor let him know that the dog is approaching.

Dan looks over and sees Thor sitting at the side of the bed, head cocked and ears perked. He might actually start to cry; he is obsessed with this dog.

"Hey there," he coos, patting the bed next to him in invitation. Thor just keeps looking at him. If Dan were to assign a human emotion to Thor's vibe right now, he'd say the dog looked dubious. "C'mon up, little guy, I won't bite."

Thor jumps up with his stumpy legs and Dan laughs delightedly at the height he can manage when he's got a running start. He snuffles into Dan's borrowed shirt and gives him a bunch of sloppy kisses.

Truly, there is no better way to wake up. Dan is in heaven right now.

He gives Thor a bunch of pats and coos nonsense at him for a little while. He's not really in a hurry to go anywhere. In fact, he wouldn't get out of bed at all if it weren't for his bladder starting to get angry with him. Dan sighs and gives Thor a kiss on his tiny forehead.

"I gotta get up," he laments. He blinks at Thor.

Thor blinks back.

"You need to get up, too," he informs the dog very solemnly.

Thor puts his front paws down like he's getting ready to play and lolls his tongue out, smiling at Dan.

Dan clutches at his chest dramatically and fumbles around for his phone. He needs to capture this moment. He notices that he's got missed texts, missed calls, but he shoves the spike of anxiety to the side in order to focus on getting cute photos and videos of Thor. He takes a bunch of the corgi alone, giggling to himself the whole time, and then pulls Thor close to him to take a few selfies as well.

After brushing his teeth and taking a quick piss, Dan lies back down and looks through the camera roll. He's smiling at his phone and petting one of Thor's soft ears. They're all super cute pictures, good enough to post if they weren't so laden in implications.

Two photos - one of them grinning wide at the camera and a follow-up where Dan's face is scrunched in laughter as Thor gives him a surprise kiss to his nose - get messaged to Phil instead of posted.

It's almost as good, really. After a beat, he sends the photos to Jaime and Patrick as well. He's already talked to them about everything, more or less, and he just wants to share the joy he's feeling right now to people who get it. His thumb hesitates. After a moment of consideration, he sends just the silly picture to Adrian.

Adrian responds with a knife emoji, followed by a heart eyes emoji.

They're never going to be like Phil and his brother, working together and razzing each other over dinner, but that's okay. Dan feels a little bit of softness in his chest, easing some of that decades-old guilt. Maybe they can, at least, be more than the strangers they are now.

Spurred on by something as simple as his brother replying immediately, Dan holds his breath and opens the text chain with his mum.

Blimey dear that must be a load off after all this time! Of course I still want to see you on Saturday... I love you with my whole heart and always will xx.

Fuck. He's not going to cry. He won't cry. Not here. Dan inhales lungfuls of air in gasps, trying not to let them turn into raspy sobs. Thor makes an inquisitive noise and noses at Dan's hand.

"I'm okay," he whispers, even if he isn't quite sure that's true. He makes a bunch of typos as he replies to her, just a short love you too that takes him an entire minute to get right. He doesn't want to make a big deal over this, even though it is a big deal, so he just adds a heart emoji and buries his face in Thor's soft fur.

His phone buzzes a few times, but Dan ignores it for a little while. He feels safe in Phil's bed, Thor in his arms, and he doesn't want to face the world again until he feels a bit less fragile. Eventually, though, Thor wiggles out of his grasp and bounds off the bed in search of a toy.

Jaime and Patrick have both responded to the dog selfies, Jaime with a string of barely-comprehensible emotional texts and Patrick with a single exclamation point iMessage reaction.

Phil has sent him a selfie in return, wearing radio headphones and a pout. Hate that I'm at work!!!!!!!!, he captions it. Dan hates that, too. He sends a quick shot of Thor on the other side of the flat with the caption, abandoned by both of u.

By the time he circles back to his mum, he isn't really sure what to expect. She isn't the type to wax poetic about her feelings, none of them are, so he doesn't anticipate another round of affection and love and pride right this second. Maybe in her goodbye text when he heads to the continent. Not right away.

Sure enough, she's said, Why don't you & I grab lunch in the city on Saturday? I've been meaning to try this new sushi bar... xx. Dan's heart sinks.

It's okay, he reminds himself. His mum loves him. Adrian loves him. They both said so.

His mum not wanting him to come to the house anymore speaks volumes to Dan. He expected this, anyway - his dad barely wanted to see him before this, Dan's always been nothing but a physical reminder of his wasted youth, and it isn't shocking that he doesn't want to see Dan now.

Dan lies back down and covers his head with Phil's duvet. He'll let himself be sad, just for a minute, for the loss. This is the first relationship he has to cut off if he wants to live authentically, move forward as a gay man who doesn't hate himself, and it hits hard. Maybe he'll let himself be angry, after this. Then, he'll get out of bed and start living the authentic, quietly proud life that he's only ever dreamed of.

It's okay. But, right now, it stings a bit.

--

By the time Thor's ears perk up and he runs to the door, a clear indication that Phil is home, Dan has well and truly gone through some stages of grief and landed on repression. He's been playing Guild Wars and idly tidying Phil's flat throughout the day, lazy with the impromptu day off as he is. Thor follows him around and Dan plies him with more treats than he thinks Phil would approve of.

Dan feels a little sheepish when Phil comes in and he's just lounging on the sofa with his laptop and a pair of Phil's ridiculous slippers on his feet. The flat looks better than it had last night, but Dan has done fuck all with himself. He could have at least showered, he supposes.

"Hey," he says, tugging an earphone out and giving Phil a quick glance. "Sorry, I'm raiding, I'll give you attention in a second."

"Hi, Dan, my day was good," Phil says dryly. "Thanks for asking."

"You signed up for this," Dan informs him, not taking his eyes off the screen again. He can hear Phil enthusiastically greeting Thor, which makes him smile. "I did make dinner, 's in the oven."

"You cook?" Phil sounds far too surprised, in Dan's opinion.

Dan's character gets murked, and he shuts his laptop with a little huff of a noise. Normally he'd wait out the respawn and keep playing, but he's got more important things to focus on. "No, not really. I know how to throw a bunch of stuff in a pot or dish until it's food."

He gets a proper look at Phil while he peeks in the oven and feels even more like maybe he should have gotten dressed.

It's not like he's dressed up nicely or anything - he's wearing the corgi jumper that he interviewed Dan in and a pair of Vans that are surely on their last legs - but the fact that he is dressed gives him a head start on Dan. He looks a little tired, and Dan wonders if it's comfort or a distinct lack of it that has Phil's shoulders hunched forward more than usual.

"It smells good," Phil informs him, smiling a bit. "You didn't have to do that, y'know."

"Shut up, I wanted to," says Dan.

"I don't think I've come home to food cooking since I lived with my parents," Phil says, his hands inside out in his jean pockets. "I, uh, better not get used to it, huh?"

That definitely is a problem. The elephant in the room, that Dan can't just stay here forever. Dan sighs and stands, carefully stepping around the sofa so he doesn't trip on Thor. He comes close to wrap his arms around Phil's shoulders, smiling when Phil immediately takes hold of his waist like they're dancing.

"Hi, Phil," Dan mocks softly. "Good to see you, how was your day?"

Phil laughs. "Alright. Better now."

"Good," says Dan, and then he kisses Phil. It hasn't even been a full day since he did it last, but he hums and arches into it like it's been months.

They're making up for preemptive lost time. Dan is distracted, though, even when Phil licks into his mouth and pulls him closer. He can't stop thinking about the call he'd made to Amy earlier, the things his agent had said to him.

Netflix announces renewals and cancellations whenever it pleases, not on any sort of set schedule, so Dan will have to live in limbo for a little while. Amy doesn't know how long, exactly, but she promised him to at least find him a British film or series to do in the space between seasons. She called him an idiot, but she agreed to it.

Dan is wondering if he should tell Phil about that conversation. He spends half a minute tossing the possibilities around in his head while Phil sucks on his tongue, his lip.

This is so stupid. Dan pulls back from the kiss. He laughs a bit and puts a palm on Phil's chest to stop him from coming back for more. It warms Dan, knowing that Phil doesn't want to stop kissing him.

"Down, boy," he jokes, and Phil rolls his eyes.

"I don't like this habit you have of interrupting us," says Phil. His cool hands slip under Dan's borrowed Friends shirt. His thumbs trace mirroring shapes just under Dan's ribcage. Now that is distracting. "You could just let me keep kissing you."

"I could," Dan agrees. "But I've got shit to say, y'know?"

Phil grins at him, exasperated in a way that Dan thinks he could get used to. "I've noticed, Dan, that you always have shit to say. And I'd love to listen. Any other time."

"Rude," says Dan. There's no real heat to it, since Phil is right. "It's just that I almost didn't tell you something important because I didn't want to get your hopes up or sound like a freak, and then I remembered the disaster that not talking became last time, so, fuck it."

Even though he's already had experience with watching Phil's eyes go neutral and guarded, it's still a bit of a weird thing to watch happen up close.

It's not even that Phil is a particularly good actor, it's just that he's clearly so practiced in hiding his reactions to things that he can switch it on in an instant. Dan huffs a bit and pokes at Phil's cheek.

"None of that," he scolds.

"None of what?" Phil asks. He's smiling now, though. "What's so important?"

"I talked to my agent," says Dan. "Things are up in the air until we know if we're getting a fourth season, but. I'm thinking about moving to London if we aren't."

Phil's smile goes absolutely blinding, but he sounds suspicious when he says, "Really? That's something you want?"

"I always wanted to live here," Dan says with a little shrug. "Just got lucky in America and ended up staying. Nothing specific was really drawing me back here, I just knew London was always a 'someday' thing. Every time I come back for Christmas I remember how much I like it here." Dan pauses, then jokes, "It's not all about you, y'know."

It kind of is. The timing of it, at least, but Phil doesn't have to know that.

"Yeah, alright," Phil says, outright beaming at Dan now. "Makes sense to me, it's a way better place to live than Atlanta."

Dan laughs. "Atlanta is fine, you jealous bitch."

"I guess," says Phil. He presses a couple of soft kisses to Dan's jaw. Dan is ready to get carried away again before he adds, "It must be hard being so far from your family, as well. You'll get to see them more."

He knows that Phil is only trying to motivate him into staying without actively using himself as a reason, but Dan still grimaces.

"I'll probably see them about the same amount, honestly," he says. "Except my grandma, I'm sure I'll have tea with her every once in a while."

"Don't be silly, I'm sure they'd be excited," says Phil.

That's a very easy thing for Phil to say. Dan can't help the face he pulls at the idea of his family being excited that he's nearby. "They really won't. My parents aren't like yours, Phil, and my brother definitely isn't."

Phil cocks his head and blinks. Dan almost laughs at how eerily similar the action looks to Thor's confusion.

"Well, I know nobody's family is perfect," Phil says, squeezing Dan's waist. "I just figured you'd like to be closer to them."

"No," Dan says honestly. "I mean, it's not like it's a reason not to live in London. Where I am in relation to my family doesn't really affect my decision either way, TBH."

He kind of expects Phil to keep arguing with him about it. Dan only reached out to his mum about getting together in the first place after Phil got all disapproving about how little Dan sees them. Maybe he just takes Dan's word for it this time, though, because all he says is an easy, "Okay."

That's all it takes, really. Phil's agreement, even if he doesn't understand. Dan has already told this guy more about himself than anyone else he knows, and he can feel the words bubbling uncomfortably in his throat.

"I don't actually want to talk about this," says Dan, "but, like, okay, I came out to my family and only some of them are handling it well."

Actual understanding dawns on Phil's face, and he just nods.

"We won't talk about it, then," he says. Like it's that simple. "Let's eat. I'm gonna take Thor to the park afterwards if you want to come with us."

Dan leans in for a grateful kiss that lingers a bit too long. Phil's hands travel further up his shirt, tracing along Dan's ribs and making him shiver. "Thanks," he murmurs into the barely-there space between their mouths. "I'll come with you guys."

For as long as Dan has known about commitment issues, he's known that he has them. With personal projects, with schoolwork, with his own sense of self. It's hard for him to settle on something, harder still to follow through. He's felt it with the women he's dated, too, but he'd already known there was an underlying issue that made it impossible for him to say, 'yeah, okay, this could be something I do long-term'.

Now he's making out with a man who he's pretty sure is his boyfriend, even if they hadn't actually said that word, talking about sharing dinner and dog walks and clothes, and Dan has never done this before, and he knows that he's committing to something just by being here right now.

He waits for that moment of panic so he can whack it aside with some logic, but. It never comes.

Huh.

--

When they head to bed later that night, it isn't because Phil has almost passed out on the sofa again. They'd been ignoring a film for about an hour to snog, and Phil's perpetually cold hands had started wandering about five minutes into that.

Dan had managed to handle Phil's hands under his shirt, in his hair, on his thighs, even brushing the side of his neck, all without major issues. When Phil had decided to outright grope his ass through his too-tight jeans, though, Dan's brain had short circuited. So he'd dragged Phil across the room and pulled him down in a tangle of limbs and laughter as they accidentally elbowed and kneed at each other.

They're not exactly graceful people, but Dan can't complain much with Phil's hands in his back pockets and Phil's mouth on his jaw.

Dan's breathing already feels too loud in the softly lit room, small windows not letting much background noise through at all, and Phil isn't even doing much of anything to him yet.

The part of Dan's brain that exists only to remind him that he's attracted to men has literally never been so loud. He'd foolishly assumed that admitting it to himself and other people would shut it the fuck up, but instead it is outright screaming at him.

You're so fucking gay! it reminds him, as if it's yodeling from the top of a mountain.

Yeah, Dan thinks, he is, he's aware, he's currently straddling a guy he really likes and mouthing at his neck to try and get his breathing as ragged as Dan's is. He doesn't need the commentary.

Still, it keeps shouting, and it only gets louder when Phil tangles one hand in his hair and tugs him back up for an open-mouthed kiss.

He's kissing you! AmazingPhil is kissing you! that part of his mind is chanting, and in the short break between their lips meeting, Dan can't help but murmur a, "Shut up."

Phil pauses. Dan realises he's said that out loud and promptly wants to die.

"I didn't say anything," says Phil. His voice is low and amused, and Dan feels a renewed spark of heat up his spine.

"Not you," Dan says.

Raising his eyebrows, Phil makes a point to look around the flat as best he can without dislodging Dan from his hips. "Uh huh. Y'know, I always knew this place was haunted. I just figured I'd be the one to make friends with the ghosts."

"You're ridiculous," says Dan, but he can't stop himself from smiling.

"I'm not the one talking to ghosts," says Phil.

"I'm not taking to ghosts, Phil, I'm talking to myself. My brain won't shut off, it's so fucking loud right now."

Phil laughs, but he doesn't seem like he's making fun of Dan. He twirls his finger around one of Dan's curls and grins up at him. "I can help with that," he says. In case there were any doubt about what he means, Phil squeezes Dan's ass. "Bet I could make your brain be quiet."

"Yeah?" Dan grins and noses at Phil's jaw. "Yeah, alright, do your worst."

"What do you want?" Phil asks, using his light grip on Dan's hair to make Dan look at him. Dan personally thinks he could tug harder, but they can talk about that when Dan has to pull up a PowerPoint presentation on his kinks.

That's not an easy question. Dan wants everything, whatever Phil's got on offer. He shrugs.

"Honestly," says Dan, "I'm even easier about sex than I am about food."

"This has not been easy," Phil grumbles, good-natured about it. Dan cackles in response. Not a very attractive sound, but Phil doesn't seem to mind. He just smiles.

"Okay, yeah, fair enough," says Dan. "You know what I mean. You can make that call, I believe in you. Although, for you to make an informed decision, you should know I haven't showered since..." He trails off, frowning.

"Not a good sign that you can't remember," Phil laughs. He doesn't seem anxious the way he has when Dan pushes him in the past, but maybe he's just feeling the same loose vulnerability that's making Dan go mad with it. Phil hums and toys with Dan's hair. "Uh, alright, you wanna maybe fuck me?"

The suggestion being somehow both unsure and totally blunt makes Dan laugh, and then Phil is ducking giggles into Dan's collarbone, too.

"How is that a question?" Dan grins. "Sure I do."

Phil is grinning back at him, bright and beautiful, and Dan has to lean in and connect their lips again for a long moment. "Mm, you wanna grab the stuff from the loo, then? And put Thor in there while you're at it."

"Why do I have to?"

"You're on top of me."

"I don't have to be. You go put the dog away."

"No, you should - okay," Phil cuts himself off with a laugh and takes his hand off Dan's ass to hold it up between them in a fist. "Rock, paper, scissors you for it?"

As Dan proceeds to lose two of three - and then three of five, and then five of seven when he keeps complaining about not being in the Zone - it occurs to him that this whole thing feels ridiculous.

It's not a bad thing. Dan hasn't had silly sex in a very, very long time. He's certainly never had sex with someone he trusts quite as much as he trusts Phil. He's trying not to think about that too hard when he lures Thor into the bathroom with treats and his favourite toy, because he doesn't want to accidentally activate his own fight or flight reflex.

Phil is propped up on his elbows in bed, watching Dan with an absent smile on his face, and Dan remembers seeing him like this when they were drunk together. He'd been sprawled out over Dan's sheets and smirking up at him and Dan hadn't done anything about it.

"God, I'm stupid," Dan breathes, and Phil laughs.

"Yeah," he agrees, even though he can't possibly know what Dan is thinking about. "You just gonna stand there?"

With a rude gesture, Dan tosses the bottle of lube at Phil, who yelps as it almost hits him in the face. Dan finds himself cackling again as he fights to get his ultra-skinny jeans off his legs while he's still standing. He'd put them on to go to the dog park - stayed in the Friends shirt, though, it's very comfortable - but he's regretting that now. Phil's cotton shorts would be way less awkward to shimmy out of.

"Must you watch me do this?" Dan huffs, hopping on one foot as he tries to yank his jeans down over his other ankle. "It's not exactly sexy."

"It's very funny, though," says Phil.

Dan manages to get his jeans and socks off without injury, and then he flops back into bed to help Phil with his own tight jeans.

"We need to rethink our fashion," Dan laughs. Phil is giggling, too, and lifting his hips for Dan, and this is all so fun. Dan had actually forgotten that sex could be fun. His jeans come off easier than Dan's, thank god, and Dan runs his hands over Phil's thighs with a little hum. "Damn, you're pale."

Phil makes an amused, choked-off noise and kicks out at Dan without actually trying to hit him. "Hey, fuck you, you're supposed to say nice stuff to me."

"I'm so sorry, Phil, the beauty of your alabaster legs just drive me crazy," Dan simpers, exaggeratedly batting his eyelashes. He's being a dick about it, but the sentiment behind the words are true enough. Phil's got nice legs, nice thighs, a nice semi in his nice boxers. Dan brushes his fingers in a way that's probably ticklish and laughs when Phil kicks his shin for real. "Fucking ow, do you want me to tell you how hot you are or not?"

"You're so annoying," Phil informs him, and then he's sitting up to take his shirt off and Dan's mouth goes dry for real.

"Oh," he says, shifting further up the bed so he can flick his thumb over the metal bar in Phil's left nipple. He hadn't really expected that from Phil. Dan blinks, trying to get his brain back online. "Why didn't you get both?'

Whatever Phil was expecting him to say, it wasn't that. He sits there for a moment, stumped, the pads of Dan's fingers curiously poking at his nipple. It doesn't seem like it's very sensitive. Dan wonders if that's from the piercing or if Phil just doesn't have sensitive nipples. He wonders how long this piercing has been here - it hadn't been, back when he was an avid AmazingPhil subscriber, and Phil hasn't taken his shirt off for YouTube in years.

Then, Phil shrugs. "You only get one pierced, don't you?"

"I think most people get both," Dan says, but he's talking on autopilot right now. He shakes his head, tries to clear it. "Fucking symmetry or whatever, yeah?"

"I guess," Phil says. He doesn't shrug again, but his broad, bare shoulders twitch like they want to. He's got freckles and beauty marks on his shoulders and arms and torso, and Dan wants to get his mouth on every single one.

"No offense," says Dan, "but I really didn't peg you as the piercing type."

Phil smirks a bit. "Wow, the MySpace boy I was trying so hard to be is crying right now. Yeah, I dunno, it was one of the really impulsive things I did a couple years ago. Getting Thor was one of those, I think I told you about that."

He had. Dan remembers it, vaguely, remembers wondering if Phil was hiding a tattoo under his clothes.

"Did it hurt?"

"Not as much as I expected," says Phil. "And definitely not as much as my other ones did."

Dan narrows his eyes and looks Phil over, dubious. Phil isn't wearing anything but a pair of boxer briefs with sushi print on them, and Dan can't see any more metal or healing holes on him. Phil's little smirk only grows while Dan looks him over carefully. "Stop fucking with me, you don't have more piercings."

Phil raises an eyebrow and his hips in a synchronicity that Dan didn't know his body possessed. Dan swallows, hard, can hear his heart pounding as it rushes all the blood in his brain south and makes him a little dizzy.

The room is quiet and still and too hot for a long beat. Then, Dan pulls his borrowed shirt off and chucks it somewhere over his shoulder so that the cool air of the basement can stop him from overheating. He slides his fingers under the hem of Phil's boxers and pulls them down his long legs, unable to stop himself from dropping a kiss to one of Phil's very pale thighs as he does.

"Fuck," Dan breathes. He nips at Phil's thigh a bit, making the muscles there jerk. "Alright, so I can see how that would hurt more."

Phil's cock is pretty and thick, which Dan suspected but had no way of knowing, and it's also got two piercings in it. Dan knows the name of the one, a Prince Albert ring right at the tip of Phil's dick, but he has no idea what the other is called.

He has to touch them, of course. He wraps his hand around Phil's cock and rubs his thumb back and forth over the ring, watching Phil's face carefully as he does.

"Dan," is all Phil says, but his voice has gone low and his eyes have gone dark, so Dan figures he's doing something right.

"What the hell is this?" Dan has to ask, trailing his fingers down Phil's cock to nudge at the bar through the bottom of it, right above his balls. "Like, what is it called? Also, why did you do this? Also, also, I want to suck your dick now."

Phil laughs, throaty and dark, and that doesn't help Dan's situation at all.

"You only grabbed one condom," he points out, waving the wrapper in Dan's face. "So you can either fuck me or suck me off, your call."

"I don't need a condom to suck your dick," says Dan.

Somehow, even with Dan's hand idly stroking him and playing with the piercings, Phil manages to roll his eyes. "You do. I'm not giving you a safe sex lecture, Dan, either make up your mind or go get another condom."

Dan sulks, but he doesn't bother arguing. He hasn't actually heard Phil be so strongly opinionated about something before. There's not a hint of hesitation or anxiety in telling Dan what he wants, and Dan likes that too much to bicker over something as miniscule as a condom.

"Fine," he sighs, sitting up between Phil's legs and letting go of his dick.

"Aw, Dan," Phil lightly mocks. He reaches out and pets Dan's hair, which Dan is only a little embarrassed to lean into. "It's like you don't even know that getting tested together can be third base for gay people."

"Well, I don't know," Dan huffs. He's a little prickly and defensive about the teasing, but Phil smiles at him so softly that he melts all over again. "It's been a while, okay? And it's not like any of us were the smartest bulbs about this shit in uni."

With a sympathetic little hum of a noise, Phil pulls Dan up by the hair to kiss him. It's slow and lingering and Dan's body is pressed against Phil's with the angle, only his thin Calvins in the way of them sliding together. When Phil pulls back, Dan is the one who gets stopped from leaning in for more.

"Sorry," Phil says, quiet and sincere and still smiling. "I really will talk about why it's important to me later, but right now I just really need you to put your stupidly big hands to work."

Another request, no hesitation. Dan is only too happy to oblige.

Dan has never fingered another guy before. The rare times, back in the day, that he hadn't been craving something inside him to ease that constant tension he carried around with him, Dan's sexual partners had just done the task themselves.

Still, it's not rocket science. He's had his fingers in women and in himself before, how different could it be?

Too much lube and a wrist cramp later, Dan is getting the hang of things. He's using his right hand on Phil so his left wrist can take a break, pushing and prodding deep with his longest fingers to coax drawn-out noises from Phil's pretty lips. Dan kisses him, rocks against his hip, murmurs absolute nonsense into his ear that he'll feel embarrassed about when he isn't so fucking turned on. He hasn't managed to consistently hit Phil's prostate or anything but Phil doesn't seem to mind. He's grinding into Dan's hand, biting his lip hard, murmuring, "That's it, you've got it, c'mon, give me another."

"Yeah, alright," Dan breathes, carefully pressing another finger into him and shuddering at the way Phil's back arches into it.

This is easily the hottest thing he's ever done, and that might be pathetic if it wasn't so obvious that nothing else could even come close to this. Phil doesn't bother telling Dan when he's ready, he just shoves the condom into Dan's free palm and wraps a hand around himself.

"Not getting any younger, here," Phil says on a little pant, and Dan realises that he's just been staring.

"Right, fuck, okay."

Dan's fingers shake a bit, but he manages to get his boxers off and his cock ready without any incidents - aside from another mean twinge in his left wrist. He waits and just looks at Phil again, spread legs and long neck and all gorgeous man, and Phil's eyelashes flutter as he tugs lightly on one of his piercings, fuck.

"C'mon," Phil urges again, hooking a lanky leg over Dan's hip to pull him closer.

"It's gonna be like that, is it?" Dan laughs breathlessly. He hoists Phils body up by his thighs for a better angle and keeps a hand on Phil's ass to hold him there. "Fucking pillow princess, I should have guessed."

"Whatever, Dan," says Phil. He seems very distracted by Dan lining his cock up and slowly, so slowly, pressing inside of him. Phil groans then, the loudest noise he's made yet, and rocks his hips to take more of Dan's cock than Dan is giving him. "Not gonna fucking break, c'mon."

"Jesus, Phil," Dan half-laughs, half-moans. "So demanding. Feel so good, though, shit, I can't stay in Atlanta, I can't not have this all the - fuck - all the time."

It just kind of slips out, the way everything Dan babbles during sex slips out, but Phil is nodding along anyway, wrapping his arms around Dan's shoulders to pull him down into a messy kiss.

The wet noises where they're joined should be comical, maybe, all squelching lube and skin slapping against skin as Dan starts to fuck into Phil properly, but Dan is too focused on the breathy noises escaping from their kiss to care. This is just what sex sounds like - this is what sex with Phil sounds like, and Dan could really get used to that.

Phil's heel digs into the small of Dan's back to urge him on until, presumably, his leg gets tired or cramped and he wraps them both around Dan's hips instead. They gasp into each other's mouths at the slight change in angle, and Dan's hips snap forward.

If Phil weren't sucking on his tongue right now, Dan would be prattling on and moaning loud and generally making an idiot of himself. He feels the telltale sensation of heat in his gut that means there's an orgasm at the finish line, he just needs to get there.

Dan plants a hand on the bed and lifts Phil's lower body a bit more with the other, moaning absolute nonsense into Phil's mouth as he thrusts a little harder and faster to try and get Phil where he is.

A whine reverberates through Dan's body as Phil makes the noise with his teeth on Dan's lower lip, and then Dan can feel the rhythmic nudges of Phil's knuckles against his stomach as he jacks himself off, fast, because he's close too and Dan can tell. Dan wants to wait it out, he does, but Phil feels too good around his cock for him to hold out any longer. His orgasm hits and he groans like he’s been punched in the stomach, burying his face into Phil’s neck as he does.

He hears Phil say, "Fuck, okay, just stay there," and stays deep inside of him, pressing wet kisses to his neck and grinding his hips in little circles until Phil gets his, too, toes curling against the backs of Dan's thighs with a quiet groan and one hand gripping his hair so tight that Dan sees stars.

Dan presses a soft kiss to Phil's jaw and carefully pulls out of him to flop onto his back, trying to get his breathing back to a regular rate. He's seriously unfit when he isn't filming, his personal trainer would be so furious about all the Domino's he's been eating. He laughs at the thought of his trainer's angry face and then he's just giggling, throwing an arm over his face to hide from Phil's curious eyes.

"I think you fucked me stupid," Dan tells him through the giggles, and Phil responds with a low chuckle.

Arms are wrapped around Dan's waist and a line of kisses are dropped along his collarbone. "Hey, now," says Phil, his voice low and fucked out, "I can't take credit for that. You were stupid when you got here."

"Oi," Dan laughs, shoving at him. If they had more energy, they'd probably roll around until all the mocking words are just breathless laughter, but as it is they just manage to elbow each other a few times and then curl closer. It's quiet for a few minutes, just holding each other close and letting their hands brush softly over each other's skin.

Then, Phil yawns.

"Okay," he says, like he's psyching himself up. "Contacts out. Dog out. Pants on."

"That last one seems optional," Dan says, waggling his eyebrows. Phil laughs and swats at his chest.

"You," says Phil, swatting the same spot again for good measure, "condom off, pants on."

"What is this pants agenda you're pushing on me?" Dan hums into Phil's hair. It smells sweet, like some kind of berry. "I'm not sure I'm interested in these pants you speak of."

Phil laughs and pulls away to stretch all his long limbs out. Dan takes the opportunity to shamelessly check him out again, admiring the glints of metal that the majority of the world doesn't get to see. "You will be. Thor's going to want to cuddle after we locked him up."

He watches Phil as he searches his room for clean boxers, wolf-whistling when he bends down and laughing at the finger he gets in return.

"Yeah, okay," says Dan. He feels a smile spread across his face before he even thinks about it. Yeah. This is what he wants. This is what, for some godforsaken reason, he's been allowed to have.

[katzuyas]

I’ve been tagged in so many things over the past couple of weeks that I honestly don’t even have much more bookmark space left in my browser RIP so I finally decided to do all of it at once, hence the title and the rest of this longass post under the cut

bc there’s a lot of the tag games down there and tagging a million people would be annoying, I’m gonna tag 10 of you to grab a dice and roll it to figure out which meme you’re tagged for ^u^)b if you roll the same number twice, count that meme as the start from which to count and roll again! I hope you like this idea, but it’s only a suggestion so feel free to do whatever you want tbh?

@sweet-vitya, @gabzjones, @and-then-yoi-happened, @etherealalchemist, @joeys-piano, @quadruplyyours, @yuliaplisetskaya, @dreaming-fireflies, @teekettle, @iwritebetterthanispeak, @chessala

enjoy, if you want! 💕💕

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you for the tag!!

rules: answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers that you want to get to know better.

1. Name: kat

2. Nicknames: same tbh

3. Height: 170cm

4. Orientation: who knows who cares (it’s pan)

5. Nationality: polish

6. Favorite fruit: mango, cherries, I love watermelon too but the seeds piss me off too much to fully enjoy it

7. Favorite season: anything that doesn’t make me sweat off my skin but isn’t also freezing my toes is more than fine with me ^u^)b

8. Favorite plant: I don’t think I have any favs here

9. Favorite scent: I have this yankee candle ‘sweet candies’ and I can just DIE wrapped in that scent holy sheet (when it comes to perfume tho I’m a sucker for the original chloe, but I also love calvin klein’s euphoria bc it’s just Fresh)

10. Favorite color: any pastel really

11. Favorite animal: MY SWEET PUPPER HINA (so yes, dogs)

12. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: coffee sometimes, TEA AND GREEN TEA AND VANILLA CHAI!!!!!!, hot chocolate is a nope

13. Average sleep hours: I always try for 8h bc otherwise I’m a zombie, but it doesn’t always work out so... I’m a part-time zombie anyway lmao

14. Dog or cat person: ISN’T THE PIC PROOF ENOUGH THAT I LOVE MY FURRY DOGGO SON

15. Favorite fictional character: victor nikiforov. that’s it. that’s all. we can all go home now

16. Number of blankets you sleep with: 1 + a duvet bc I like being cosy

17. Dream trip: japan, always. but another one would be a trip to the harry potter universal store or the noble collection store I guess

18. Blog created: who even remembers this pffff (somewhen in august 2011 I think)

19. Number of followers: I’m just gonna say it’s a four number figure ;3c

20. Random fact: I’m currently rewatching lord of the rings and procrastinating writing so YES I’M A NERD AND A BAD PERSON AHAHA //sweats

tagged by @story-kat -- thanks love, I actually really like these so it was great fun to do 💕

Rules: using only song titles from one artist/band, cleverly answer the questions and then tag people

artist/band: one ok rock

what is your gender: stuck in the middle

how do you feel: jaded

if you could go anywhere: start again

favorite mode of transportation: mighty long fall

your best friend: wherever you are

favorite time of day: taking off

if your life was a tv show: liar

relationship status: hard to love

your fear: bombs away

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks again!! ahaha I feel like I’ll be saying this a lot today, but you spoil me /)u(\

Rules: tag 9 people you want to know better or just because you feel like it.

Relationship status: taken ;3c

Favorite color: any pastels, really

Last song I listened to: still the lord of the rings ost

Last movie I watched: lord of the rings lol two towers ^u^)b

Top 3 tv shows: game of thrones (bc I love my fantasy shit), rein (bc I love my history shit), and american housewife (bc I love laughing and this show is Hilarious with the capital H)

Top 3 characters: victor nikiforov bc I adore him, hinata shouyou bc he’s my sunshine son and I gotta mention miyuki kazuya bc his smirks still keep me awake at night 😍😍😍

What I’m currently reading: honestly? my own writes bc I have no time for anything other than editing orz

tagged by @themayflynans and @endlesscloudsoftime, thank you both!! 💕

A - Age: 26

B - Birthplace: poland

C - Current time: 11:50am

D - Drink you last had: just some coke

E - Easiest person to talk to: nowadays it’s gotta be @saniika and @and-then-yoi-happened bc I know I can be as salty and upset as I feel when I talk to them and that it’s alright to just let it all out which is something I wish for everyone to have 💕

F - Favourite song: don’t have one tbh

G - Grossest memory: back in elementary school my class was in warsaw to see the big zoo there and one of the chimpanzees just projectile shat all over our teacher and it was simultaneously the most awesome and the fucking WORST bc she smelled like shit the whole trip back home ugh

H - Horror yes or horror no: depends on what kind of horror but generally? meh

I - In love?: no idea tbh but definitely comfortable in my relationship

J - Jealous of people?: you’ve no idea. jelly and bitter.

L - Love at first sight or should i walk by again?: walk by and actually tell me you’re interested bc I’m a blind pan who is easily confused

M - Middle name: magdalena ;3c

N - Number of siblings: 0

O - One wish: Been keeping Salty’s answers here - yes, to learn to love myself.

P - Person you called last: my mom lol she’s the only one I call, really

Q - Question you are always asked: "so when will you start looking for a job?”

R - Reason to smile: VICTUURI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

S - Song you sang last: oh man I don’t even remember, I don’t really sing out loud

T - Time you woke up: these days? 6:30am

U - Underwear colour: sea green-blue, turquoise?

V - Vacation destination: I’m going to japan next year to see ice adolescence even if it kills me

W - Worst habit: biting the inside of my cheeks bloody

X - X-rays: my hand when I had a small accident playing badminton, my jaw for my braces

Y - Your favourite food: PIZZA HELLO

Z - Zodiac sign: gemini ;3c

tagged by @theexitgarden and @endlesscloudsoftime, bless you both and thank you for thinking of the old me 💕 

1st RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better:

we’ll be skipping this one bc of reasons //sweats

2nd RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo -I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know - I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory- I am good at doing math in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority- I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite bands concert

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling- I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smartphone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages - I have made a new friend in the past year

tagged by @story-kat and @endlesscloudsoftime (astea m’dude ur tagging me in everything and I love you for it)

WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE SONG(S) TO SING?

I will most often hum or mouth lyrics when I’m writing and my brain gets distracted so it usually is some sort of acoustic cover of a rather popular song, like despacito? lol WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE FLOWER/TREE/PLANT?

I don’t have one tbh FAVOURITE COLOURS?

anything pastel!! WHAT DO YOU ALWAYS DOODLE?

I don’t anymore but it used to be some random squigglies??

HOW DO YOU TAKE YOUR COFFEE/TEA?

2.5 teaspoon of sugar into both + 1/4 milk/cream into the coffee and 1/4 cold water into the tea FAVOURITE CANDLE SCENT?

SWEET CANDIES FROM YANKEE CANDLE. BURY ME IN THIS. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?

sunrise bc I don’t even see sunsets anymore (I’m asleep then lol) WHAT PERFUME DO YOU WEAR?

the original chloe is what I like most but I would die for dior’s j’adore, it’s so nice 😍😍😍 in the summer I’m wearing masaki’s fluo tho bc it’s sweet and summery

WHAT’S YOUR GO-TO DANCE MOVE WHEN YOU’RE ALONE?

butt wiggling? maybe? idk man I never really thought about it? lol FAVOURITE QUOTE?

“Because people don’t have wings, we look for other ways to fly.” -- somehow this one always sticks with me bc it’s so beautiful and vivid that you’d never say it’s from a japanese cartoon lmao

FAVOURITE SELF CARE ROUTINE(S)?

sleeping, kicking back and watching some dumb movie that won’t make me think of anything but how dumb it is

FUZZY SOCKS OR HOUSE SLIPPERS?

both? I like fuzzy socks in winter but in summer I go barefoot but sometimes u gotta have something between your skin and the floor so = slippers WHAT COLOUR ARE YOUR EYES?

brown

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE EYE COLOUR ON OTHERS?

I don’t honestly care but blue eyes when they’re very light creep me out somehow FAVOURITE SEASON? WHY?

don’t have one but as long as it’s not too hot or too cold I’m good NECK, CHEEK, OR NOSE KISSES?

depends on what you want to achieve? neck kisses will have me melting, cheek kisses smile and nose kisses giggle and possibly blush so YEA THERE’S THAT

WHAT DOES YOUR HAPPY PLACE LOOK LIKE?

it’s my room. that’s it. this is my happy place

FAVOURITE BREED OF DOG?

ANY DOGGO IS A GOOD DOGGO AS LONG AS IT’S NOT THOSE SMOL ONES WHO BITE UR ANKLES FOR NO REASON DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE MARRIED?

idk, I mean yes I’d like to be married one day but I’m not really in any hurry to get there? CURSIVE OR PRINT?

I don’t honestly care

FAVOURITE WEATHER?

cloudy but not too cold

tagged by @story-kat, thanks for the tag babe!!

Rules: bold what you prefer and tag 10 people.

coffee or tea

early bird or night owl

chocolate or vanilla

spring or fall

silver or gold (BOTH! BOTH IS GOOD)

pop or alternative

freckles or dimples

snakes or sharks

mountains or fields

thunderstorm or lightning

Egyptian or Greek mythology

ivory or scarlet

flute or lyre

eyes or lips

witch or fairy

opal or diamond

butterflies or honeybees

macaroons or eclairs

typewritten or handwritten letters

secret garden or secret library

rooftop or balcony

spicy or mild

opera or ballet

London or Paris

Vincent van Gogh or Claude Monet

denim or leather

potions or spells

ocean or desert

mermaid or siren

masquerade ball or cocktail party

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime, thanks for this omg I actually wanted to do this one!! 💕💕

THE AO3 TAG GAME:

WHAT IS YOUR TOTAL WORD COUNT ON AO3?

869 938! holy sheet I’m so close to 1mil???? wowowow o.O

HOW OFTEN DO YOU WRITE?

I try to write every day, but these days (with renovations going on and my sleeping schedule all fucked up) it’s really hard to find the time and focus to do it orz

DO YOU HAVE A ROUTINE FOR WRITING?

I actually do! or I did when I was still regularly writing lol it was something like this: cracking open an energy drink, lighting up my fav scented candle, booting up itunes and my writing playlist and generally just spending 5-6h just writing 💕  

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE KINKS/TROPES/PAIRING?

kinks: pet play, public or semi-public play, voyeurism, doggy style, also actually BOTTOM VITYA,      

tropes: reverse au, time travel, famous aus,

pairing: victuuri. no seconds. we die like man and only stan one (1) gay ship

DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE FIC OF YOURS?

I don’t necessarily have an absolute fav but a fic that I still remember fondly and am beyond sad that got little to no attention is: if there’s a will, there’s a way bc I worked my ass off for it and I love every bit of it so? give it a read if you want to?

YOUR FIC WITH THE MOST KUDOS?

dazzle me with gold which will be getting an update this weekend ;3c

ANYTHING YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING?

recently? everything. I’m just broken and idk how to fix it bc I can’t even find a good moment to try so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

NOW SOMETHING YOU DO LIKE (ABOUT YOUR WRITING)?

how sweet and soft everything is when I’m in a good mood bc victuuri deserves this kind of love and I’m so happy writing it for them 🙏🙏🙏

tagged by @amaanogawa, thanks so much ems!!!

1) How many works in progress to do you currently have in progress?

one actual wip and like... 5 more that just sit and wait their turn? //sweats

2) Do you/would you write fan fiction?

rip that’s all I write too... tbh I used to write original fiction before but I find myself much less constricted by fanfic? I can explore the characters here more than I can in original fiction where worldbuilding takes most effort

3) Do you prefer paper books or ebooks?

oh definitely paper! if I could I’d buy printed out fanfic too!

4) When did you start writing?

I was about 12 I think? it all started with harry potter, like everything else has, and I regret not a second of it!

5) Do you have someone you trust that you share your work with?

sometimes when i get very excited about what i’m writing i’ll tell my fandom friends about the specific AU that i’m writing about but in terms of reading the full length fic, i don’t have anyone that i let read before anyone else. it’ll be on ao3 for everyone at the same time.

6) Where is your favourite place to write?

my desk, my pc. I can write on my phone but I like to edit as I go and it’s hard to do on the phone.

7) Favourite childhood book?

do I even need to say it? harry potter

8) Writing for fun or writing for publication?

for fun, but with the aim of possible future publication maybe?

9) Pen and paper or computer?

always computer. i have only recently begun writing fics on my phone because i’ve been traveling a lot and i don’t always have my laptop on my person, but it’s still much more comfortable to sit down and type on a proper keyboard.

10) Have you ever taken any writing classes?

at my uni, yes. and it completely sucked bc they didn’t teach anything, just had us write random shit for 3 years so eh

11) What inspires you to write?

everything? like, any random thing or thought I’m instantly trying to weave into my writing, turn it into a prompt. every new experience is just a basis for me to write on.

but if you’re asking WHY I write: I don’t even know, I’ve never thought about it? it’s kind of like asking why I breathe ahaha I just do? it’s a part of me? idk man idk

tagged by @themayflynans, thanks for this love!!

7/7/7 tag

The rules are as follows: Go to page 7 of your WIP, go to the seventh line, share seven sentences, and tag 7 more writer-bloggers to continue the challenge.

oh wow ok this is a difficult one bc I don’t think I even have a wip 7 pages long //sweats let me see... aha, okay, I found one! from back in march when I asked people to send me over some numbers for one of those writing memes and @theexitgarden I believe (??) sent me the prompt “I don’t think anyone could be as lovely as you” for victuuri and I kind of got a blind!victor au from it?? wELP here’s the fragment of it:

His music is vibrant in a way that he couldn't play on his piano alone and the clap of the blades that he can hear from the speakers of his TV makes him only more certain – this boy, Yuuri Katsuki, is skating to the sound of Victor's soul as if it's his own.

He never notices the tears that well up in his eyes until they roll down his cheeks and Makkachin presses against his side, whimpering in concern. Victor runs a trembling hand through her soft fur and takes a deep breath. And then, he decides.

"Yasha," he says when his former coach, his father in all but blood picks up Victor’s call. "I want to do this."

And he does it.

tagged by @endlesscloudsoftime again, boy you spoil me ahaha

1. Which fictional character would be the most boring to meet in real life?

I have no idea tbh bc even the characters I don’t like wouldn’t be exactly boring, so??? I honestly don’t know

2. What problem or situation did TV / movies make you think would be common, but when you grew up you found out it wasn’t? (i’m lowkey taking a jab at hsm because thanks Disney for making me think high school would be awesome)

hooking up with people ALL THE TIME when you’re in your 20s bc wtf what a bold-faced lie omg

3. What would be on the gag reel of your life?

"how many times can kat click her tongue at random strangers who piss her off by breathing the same air?” and a manip of all the eyerolls I do bc let me tell you... THERE’S A LOT

4. What does “infinite” mean to you?

my love for victor nikiforov

5. If your life was a movie, what songs would be on the soundtrack?

definitely lots of acoustic vibes and harry potter tunes and I can bet your ass that I’d have the yeah yeah yeah ost from yoi bc it’s such a banger and I LOVE IT but also dramatic classical violin and piano bc they pull on my heart and I am weak

6. What item would be your top choice to make into a horcrux?

honestly? my phone probably. I don’t necessarily have other things close to me that I’d use with enough heart to be of any significance to me

7. Who would play you in a movie about your life?

??? no idea lol I’d love for it to be katherine mcnamara bc 1) we share names, 2) her red hair is gorgeous and I’m a redhead, 3) SHE is gorgeous and I’d love to be portrayed by someone that hot 😍😍😍

8. Most relatable scene from any book/movie/anime/etc.?

yuuri’s little gasp when he first saw victor skating bc HARD SAME MY SWEET SON HARD SAME

9. If you were shrunk down and somehow got stuck in a blender, how would you get out?

I’d jump from side to side of it to try and rock it a bit and see if I can flip it over and get out that way? idk man what is this question lol

10. Would you count manga as a piece of literature? Why or why not?

ofc I would? honestly, some manga have even better storylines than written fiction why WOULDN’T it be counted as a piece of literature

11. compliment yourself. (joey, you’re just to freaking good to at making up questions).

oh man... //sweats umm??? good job me on not breaking down yet bc the renovations keep being awful and you’re handling it well?? maybe lol

tagged by @theexitgarden, thanks love, once more!

RULES: Choose any three fandoms (in random order) and answer the questions, then tag 10 people you want to know better.

Three Fandoms:

Yuri!!! on Ice

Ace of Diamond

Haikyuu!!

The First Character You Loved:

victor. he’s voiced by suwajun, do I really need to say more?

miyuki!! gosh I do love my asshole sons snarky and mean

hinata bc he’s a ray of sunshine and I even named my doggo after him 💕

The Character You Never Expected To Love So Much:

I gotta copy you garden bc chris took me by surprise too! my love for him started from that little sad look he gave us in the kiss and cry and it blossomed beautifully over time ahhh

sanada omg?? he is literally baseball kuroo so I was not expecting it but I fully embraced it lmao

iwaizumi bc I’m not one to like the mothering types but he’s??? actually so kind and sweet under all that harsh Manly facade it’s so cute

The Character You Relate To The Most:

victor, I’d say, or so I like to think

honestly? miyuki. just look at my url lol

oikawa, probably...

The Character You’d Slap:

I wouldn’t actually, but yurio deserves a good kick on the butt

um??? kataoka? bc TF U MEAN U DON’T KNOW WHO THE ACE SHOULD BE WE KNEW IT FROM THE FIRST CHAPTER YOU DUMBASS

early tsukki bc he’s could use it tbqh

Three Favorite Characters (in order of preference):

victor, yuuri, chris

miyuki, eijun, mei

hinata, kuroo, oikawa

A Character You Liked At First, But Don’t Anymore:

no one like that in yoi tbh, my love is only growing

kataoka lol

umm???? idk

A Character You Didn’t Like At First But Do Now:

seung-gil, I’d say. he grew on me lol

raichi, I guess??

to say tsukki, I’d have to actually like him now but it’s more difficult than that bc I didn’t like him at first but now can tolerate him so?? does it count?

Three OTPs:

victuuri, phichimetti, and the third would be very problematic bc I honestly don’t ship anything else in yoi?

miyusawa, chrisawa, sanasawa

KUROHINA YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, oihina, bokuhina

tagged by @sleep-furiously, thanks for the tag, love!!

post five facts about myself ❤

I have a sweet doggo who is the light of my life 💕

I write good shit sometimes

I believe I have good taste

I’m a snark machine when certain buttons are pressed

patience levels run at 0%

wow ok this was A LOT to go through and it took me like 3h to do this holy sheet but at least I had fun and now I have my firefox bookmark free so that’s awesome ahhh!! thanks so much again to everyone for the tags, you guys are amazing and I’m lucky to have you 💕💕💕💕

[hello-language-that-is-all]

hisokasasss

Sup guys, Tenka (Aka Ponzorz) here - I said I’d write a post about how I self studied Japanese, sooooo I guess this is it. I learnt Japanese from Zero to Fluent in about 2.5 years, and this is my method. It’s probably not the most interesting (I didn’t watch any anime… lol… I only started watching Anime these past 1, 2 years - back then I only read  a few Manga, and that was in English) and it’s hard, but maybe it can shed some light on to a study regime you can set up for yourself.

Before reading, keep in mind that there is never a single best way to study Japanese, and the most important thing about studying a language is not what textbook you have or what shows you watch - it’s always that you keep yourself going and push yourself to carry on.

I had a pretty set way I studied Japanese, so I’ll talk about that here, and since I gained proficiency I have found a lot of other methods to help people who are learning Japanese - and I’ll draw on those experiences too to inform people in this post.

Ikuzooooo.

[ Learning the Writing System ] This is step one. Japanese has three sets of difference characters. Most people don’t get it at first, but I’ll just try to explain each one below.

Hiragana （あいうえお - this is the Japanese vowels a-i-u-e-o in Hiragana） - This is the most basic one, you can use this to write everything you need to - but only knowing this one would be like some ponyo/sousuke level writing… aka like a five year old. As a person learning Japanese for a second/third/fourth/99th language though, Hiragana is definitely a solid start.

Katakana　（アイウエオ - this is the Japanese vowels a-i-u-e-o in Katakana） Everything that can be written in Hiragana can be written in Katakana - it’s like two different versions of the same alphabet.

However, Katakana is mostly used for ① Foreign vocabulary/Proper nouns that can’t be written in Kanji, and ② Emphasis/Nuance.  ①  is “Borrowed Words”, ie. Words in Japanese that originated from another language, will be written in Katakana.　For example, Camera (“Kyamera” キャメラ), and “Naruto” is ナルト <- This is Katakana.  The second situation of emphasis/nuance is more difficult to explain, but just think of it this way: Writing “Baka” in Katakana, can give off a different feel to if it were written in Hiragana.

Kanji - Kanji is very, very, very, important. Most people beginning their Japanese studies won’t know very much Kanji, which is totally normal - and they will probably hate it at some point. But, writing Japanese without Kanji islikereadingenglishwithoutspacesinbetweenthewords. It kills the reader and if you are serious about studying Japanese, learn yo’ Kanji. Kanji are chinese characters that make up portions of a verb in Japanese, or a lot of nouns can be written completely in Kanji. Hiragana is used to support Kanji and used to fill particles and prepositions and subject markers etc, in a sentence, as those things do not have a designated Kanji - or it is not commonly used. It probably sounds confusing as hell right now but you’ll get it really quickly once you start learning. Every Kanji has a reading, so it may be hard to learn the different readings for each Kanji but it gets easier as you go, I swear.

Originally posted by studiotrigger

I started learning the writing system slowly and piecemeal, just writing the seperate kana on paper and getting more or less used to them and memorising the readings. I talk about how I learnt this in the next section, but in the meanwhile… I thought of another method.

This may be off topic but I learnt how to read Korean Hangul in like an hour by playing an online “drill” game, so I think from that experience it may be a lot faster to learn Katakana and Hiragana that way.

I found some drillers where you see the kana and just type in the romaji (ie. english version of Japanese lol):

http://kana.icann.se/

http://kagan.mactane.org/software/kana-drill.html

Try those!

( A bit about watching Anime - I think if Anime/dramas is what you’re interested in, definitely watch it. Just gonna put it out there, doing that alone probably won’t get you fluent. But it’s important because it keeps you interested, and it’s about immersion and keeping in contact with the language. :D Don’t spend 90% of your “Japanese study” in anime, but if it’s what you enjoy, go for it and it will help.

I recommend Slice of Life anime over Shonen - why? Because you’d use SoL anime dialogue more. FYI No one seriously uses “Dattebayo/-ttebayo” in Japanese, ever, “Bankai” is zero help if you want to make conversation, and most Shonen protagonists and villains speak in such an informal/brash way I’d only recommend if you want to get in to a fight. ;9 <3 )

[Actually studying the grammar and the vocab]

Because there is not much point in knowing the writing system without actually understanding what all those squiggly characters mean, it’s best to press on and learn some vocab and grammar.

First, I’ll talk about the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (JLPT). JLPT is a benchmark exam for Japanese, it has 5 levels from 5 -1. 5 being the easiest, and 1 being the hardest. You don’t have to worry about sitting the exam or anything, but it’s just a really solid curriculum to base your Japanese studies off.

I started studying off

Tim’s Takamatsu -

this website is practically my godsend. I printed out everything, had it bound in to a book - you’ll see that most of the tutorials here are in Romaji. How I studied was I scribed in the Katakana, Hiragana, and Kanji (Where applicable) under the Romaji. This helped me memorise and write Hiragana and Katakana really fast, get used to using basic Kanji, and learn all the basic grammar and vocab up till around N3 level. This took me about 3 months. Then I’d say it’s all downhill once you hit N3 level.

Even after I was through with Tim’s Takamatsu, I bought Schaums Outlines of Japanese Grammar just to help me solidify stuff. It’s not the best book nor the most interesting book, but it helped.    

http://www.tanos.co.uk/  is a fantastic website to look at all the vocab/grammar you need for each JLPT standard, and strive to learn them and gradually progress from 5-1. I printed off the grammar lists from Tanos, and learnt all the ones I wasn’t sure of.

I also listened to a lot of podcasts, like Japanese 101. This helped me with listening skills, and I also learnt a lot of vocab and grammar. I find the stuff you learn from podcasts really memorable, compared to what you’d learn by reading off grammar books all the time. It’s a nice change.

Extra Materials for Basic Grammar etc - these are awesome, kudos to the people who made these - print it, stick it up in your room! I wish I had found  them when I was studying. (T_T) http://cheatsheets.nihonshock.com/sheets/basic-japanese/

http://cheatsheets.nihonshock.com/digital-cheat-sheets/cool-japanese/

http://www.tofugu.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/japanese-particles-cheatsheet1.pdf

There links below are more explanatory stuff rather than “cheat sheets”. It’s like Tim’s Takamatsu - so I would use them to supplement each other.

http://www.guidetojapanese.org/grammar_guide.pdf

http://thejapanesepage.com/grammar.htm

http://www.japaneseverbconjugator.com/JVerbList.asp

This is probably one of the most important parts of my Japanese studying journey. Don’t give up if you’ve made it this far! :D You can do it!

Originally posted by toctocpiopio

[Advanced Japanese]

Okedoke, so how do you get from N3 to N1? You’ve gotten yourself this far, so just keep doing what you’ve been doing the whole time and don’t give up. Keep referring back to the JLPT standards to see what you need to still learn, in terms of grammar, and go for it.

N2, N1, levels require a lot of Kanji readings and Vocab Knowledge. How I tackled this, was by flashcards. I played a game on my phone called “Japanese Flash” (on iOS) and it was the only “game” I had on my phone for almost a year. Anki, or any other flashcard system will work the same. I find flashcards the most effective way for me to pick up vocab/kanji readings the fastest - the hardest thing about it is persevering. I’d play the flashcards on the bus, at home, in bed, in the shower jks  , some days I felt like I was going to throw up from flash carding… but it’s a bump you’ve gotta get over. It gets better as you pick up more readings, and you’ll find you’re able to correctly guess heaps of Kanji combinations as you go.

I had the book “A Dictionary of Intermediate Japanese Grammar”, and the beginners version of that book, to help me through all the difficult grammar. Plus google.

http://www.imabi.net/ is a fantastic website too, with basic - advanced Japanese grammar. I wish I found this earlier as well. (T_T)

[Notes about my particular circumstances] So hitting N1 took me about 2.5 years. I do realise this is probably not what most people want to do - spend so much time manically studying Japanese, I had tunnel vision for a long time and it was literally what I spent my spare time doing, so hear me out.

Originally posted by opioide

I think at that point in my life, I was a stupid teen and I really hated my own situation, resented it, and I wanted to leave my city so bad and go somewhere - anywhere. In short, I was pretty desperate. For a lot of rebellious and otherwise personal reasons, I decided to go to Japan. (Eg. My family is Chinese, and I’ve been fed loads of nationalistic shit since toddlerhood about how Chinese people hate Japan blah blah don’t go there blah blah all Japanese are bad blah blah which I refused to believe and I wanted to see Japan with my own eyes since I was sure I would be able to make friends since I think there are nice people, as well as terrible people, eeeeverywhere in the world in any place.)

I needed a scholarship in Japanese, so that’s why I studied madly. Otherwise, I’d never be able to have the $$ leave and I felt like I’d have been trapped in a city I don’t belong in, forever. Yeah… >_> I had serious attitude issues, pls don’t judge me. I love my city now that I’m back, and I ought to have given the people around me more credit. .___.

Originally posted by galaxymoonbird

That aside though, I want to talk about Kanji. I realise in this guide, I never talked much about learning to familliarize with or write Kanji. I suppose the easiest way to explain this would be, well I’m Chinese in origin so that wasn’t much of an issue to me, but that would not only be misleading, but discouraging to a lot of people who don’t have a chinese background. There is no easy way learning how to write Kanji, you have to put in the legwork - that’s all there is to it. I never had an education in Chinese, English would be my first language as I passed my years from toddler onwards in Middle Earth and various other places, but I suppose one could say that I did my Kanji learning prior to learning the rest of my Japanese. Strict parents = learning at least X amount of Kanji/day before I could leave the house to go run around outside, and I distinctly remember one summer when I was around 11, my Kanji knowledge sky rocketed as a result of being forced to stay inside and learn it all summer.

I wrote a Kanji 20+ times till I memorised it, and that’s probably how I got my foundation. Once I’d started studying Japanese, I still had to get used to how Kanji was used in the Japanese language system - a lot of stuff is written differently, and my Kanji wasn’t perfect to begin with so I had to learn a heap of new ones, and since all the readings were completely different to what I was used to, I had to learn those too (hence flash carding). I think my Chinese probably got better as a result of studying Japanese, lol…. I’m serious. >_>

Originally posted by ghibli-forever

[canaryatlaw]

okay. so today was pretty good. I woke up at like 12:25ish I think? naturally, I texted Jess and asked if she wanted to get lunch, citing a lunch special that was posted at one of the restaurants we went to last week. she said yes and we said we’d meet in 15, so I got dressed and headed out. Once we got there we couldn’t actually see the lunch special where it was posted so we were kinda just like fuck it we’ll get whatever we want lol. I ended up getting a burger, which I kinda got meat-fatigued with (I don’t care if that’s not a real thing, I’m making it a real thing) but I ate like two-thirds of it before switching to my tater tots. they also like, fully cooked it when I said medium rare, so that may have contributed to my feelings there, lol. but mostly it was good. So we got the check and paid, I later would discover I accidentally left my credit card there and would have to deal with that later. but for now we headed home. For a while I just did random computer stuff, namely ordering a bunch of stuff off amazon after looking at recipes I wanted to make that I needed some specific ingredients for (some of which you couldn’t really find at a grocery store) and I wanted to get better tips for my piping bag for making macarons because the ones I have now aren’t big enough to properly pipe the shells so I end up having to pipe them using a circular motion instead of just doing dollops like you’re supposed to. I had gotten a reply email from the one I sent yesterday regarding the kitten for adoption and they said to call for a short phone interview and set up a time to visit, so I gave them a call but it went to voicemail and nobody’s called back yet, I may try them again in the morning because we were hoping to be able to go get the kitten tomorrow, so we’ll see how that works. I was on their website and they didn’t list a specific address for their location because apparently it’s a primarily a private home but they listed approximate coordinates by street numbers, which I tracked down to actually be really close to both of our apartments, so that should be easy hopefully. After that I decided I wanted to make oatmeal raisin cookies which had been on my mind for a few days now, so I set about doing that. I always fuck up with remembering to take the baking sheets out of the drawer below the oven before preheating the oven, because if I leave them in there they get really hot and are just generally harder to deal with, so I had to put up with that which was annoying. I tried to see if I could get my broken cookie dough to work if I used a certain technique but it was not in fact successful, so I just ended up using a spoon and rolling them into balls with my hands. I later went back on Amazon and bought a new cookie dough scoop, so I really went a bit Amazon crazy today 😂 oh well. The cookies came out pretty good, the only thing was the ones that were put on the bottom rack, which I hadn’t scooped out until after the first tray was already in, ended up being a little dark on the bottom, not burnt except for a few small areas but definitely getting there, so I’ll have to be careful about that in the future. But I was mostly satisfied with them. I went back on my computer and did nothing in particular until Jess and I decided to go get ice cream, and as I was heading out I looked at the clock and realized it was like 6 pm and not like 4 like I thought, so when we met up I suggested we get some actual food first since it was actually dinner time, so we went to one of the restaurants on the main street that I’d been to a few times before and it was pretty good. we didn’t want to fill up too much because ice cream, so we shared two appetizers: fried mac and cheese balls, and poutine. they were both super good, but the poutine was like, freaking amazing lol. I knew I was going to get sooooooo much acid reflux for eating it (and I did) but it was totally worth it. When we went to pay I saw that my credit card was suspiciously missing from its spot, which was concerning of course but I figured I’d probably just left it in the restaurant we were at for lunch (which was conveniently just across the street from where we were), so I tried to not panic and paid with another card, then we went across the street and asked about it, they told us to talk to the bartender who said to give him my ID, and I did, and he went to a little like flash card box (I forget if those have an actually proper name or not) and flipped through a bunch of pages (apparently a lot of people have left cards there before, but I guess that’s the case with a bar sometimes) before finding mine and bringing it back to me, which of course I was very relieved about, I had to deal with losing my wallet last year and getting fraudulent charges on my cards almost immediately and had to cancel and reissue all of them and then there was this ongoing problem with the bank and it was really just a nightmare, so I’m glad I don’t have to do that again. We continued down the street to the ice cream place (we have like a ton of food places in like a two block radius), where we ordered our standard choices and sat and ate them before parting ways. I got home and decided I was in the mood for some more game of thrones, finishing season 3 and starting season 4. I gotta say that I’m finally actually getting really into it. like for a long while I just was not following it, but now I know who (most of) the characters are and how they fit into everything, and just how crazy things get. I know a ton of people come back from the dead so I’m kinda just waiting for that to happen with some of the recently “deceased” characters (cough Starks cough). Poor fucking Sansa man. She’s just getting tortured from every angle. At least Tyrion is a decent human being and tries to protect her, seems he’s really the only Lannister that’s not completely terrible. and OF COURSE I left off at the end of the episode where Joffrey met his tragic end, and I have to see while actually watching it was kind of gross, it was still a beautiful sight to me because THAT LITTLE SHIT IS DEAD and I’m so happy about it. When everyone was going on about there being peace I knew that couldn’t last long, so something was going to happen, and it did. I suppose they’ll further investigate who actually poisoned him, because as much as Tyrion hates Joffrey I don’t think he would go to straight up homicide in such a public setting where he would very easily be found guilty for it. My money right now is on Tywin honestly, he was pretty done with that little shit lately. So like, who gets to rule the throne now?? does Margaery get to be queen now because she was technically married to the king when he died? Does it go to Joffrey’s sister (I think he only has one sibling? would they actually allow secession to a female at this point?) Would it go back to Stannis if Robert has no more viable heirs (assuming Joffrey’s sister can’t take on the throne)?? so many questions, and I’m sure they’ll be answered in like, the next episode, but I have many questions about them now. also when is Robb gonna show up again?? we all know he’s not really dead, and I’d like Catelyn back too for that matter. Also, I continue to adore both Daenerys and Arya as two (completely unrelated but still) total badasses who do not bow to others and do what they think is right. My girls, love them. Sigh. Anyway, when I finished that episode I started getting ready for bed and here we are. Not sure what the plan is for tomorrow being that I once again have nothing to actually do, we may get breakfast and then if things actually work out cat wise I may end up bringing one of those home, so stay tuned for details on that subject. But yeah, that’s it for tonight, it’s almost 2 am so it’s definitely time for bed. Goodnight sweeties. Stay awesome.

[zil-zeki]

WIP Tag

Wee! @bearly-dressed tagged me the other day and I finally got to it now. Boy this’ll be fun. Considering I finished up with school for now my head has been giving me sooo many ideas on what I want to do.

Rules: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets!

1.  I wanna finish a actually decent comic this year, ideally by the end of summer. I had this idea a ways back about a set of siblings living in the Ol’ West, each having a different super-sense, hah. This is my Coyote Kids project. The plan is to basically complete a small issue. From there I’ll think about if it’s like to do more episodic short stories with ‘em. I made myself a timeline to have thumbnails done within two months soooo, you might start seeing proper drawins of them come up on my blog then...

2. I wanna make a nice character sheet for my D&D character, Patience. I don’t really have to, but... I know I can. I just really like drawing her! Plus it’d be one more thing I can show off to my friends on game-night. >w>

3. I keep getting this other short comic idea stuck in my head with Gerome, Roscuro, and Dogs. Just a silly interlude where Gerome learns some things about Ro and whatever... I sorta started it a while back because I wanted to get familiar with Manga Studio’s actual comic-related tools. I still wanna complete it because I’m not sure if I’d like to do the larger Coyote kids project traditionally, digitally, or some mix... Basically I gotta play around in each to figure out what I’d like to do over the long term and this seemed like a fun way to do so.

4. I have a bunch of sticker paper and I like drawing and water-coloring cute little animals, so I design a bunch of cute animal stickers! Part to sell, part to give, and a bunch to stick on my own stuff! I for sure wanna make some specifically of my kitty cat to send to my mom, ‘cause I know she missed her little fluffy girl.

6. I wanna make more vlogs for youtube... it feels a little silly, but some people seem to like seeing them, and I sure like looking back at the old stuff I did and hearing myself be weird... and I generally think it’s a neat skill to have, knowing how to moderately do some video editing. By the time this goes up I actually should have put of a sketchbook tour of the last two sketchbooks I finished! hah

7. I have some rough idea for different illustrations and pieces, some original, some fan-art. I wanna just have more big stuff done next year. Partially because I know I have the time now, and a part ‘cause I’d like to have a decent amount of new stuff should I choose to do SacAnime again.

8. Too many stories in my head... I have a rough idea for two more  that I REALLY like and because I KNOW I can’t possibly get around to drawing all of them, I’d like to at least write ‘em down. But I don’t write like I used to in middle school... unless it’s for school I don’t really engage in creative writing much anymore, but I’d like to... I may have to designate time for it though, ‘cause my free-time usually gets to go to drawing or video-games by default lol. 

9. Lastly, I suppose I’d like to set up a website. Again I think it’s a super neat skill to be able to say I have, and I’d love to eventually have just a personal website for all my work and projects! Buuuut, I know only surface level stuff so this will be a FUN learning experience full of trails and frustrations... But I still wanna do it, maybe once I can get a job and can find the funds for hosting and/or classes.

Goanna tag: @hivemindmonster @kyri01-lur @norklostheart @nahinelleinad @xsilversugar @somereddame @certainlynotshibas @ceephorstudios