#I got to hold the baby yesterday and I was so scared but nothing bad happened and it was such a wonderful experience

[asinglesock]

I cannot resist adding a little bit of carrot when I'm making a broth despite knowing it will make the broth too carrotty 😔

[frenchvanilla-mase]

fans are assholes | r. dias

summary: fans compare your pregnancy to fellow wags, leaving you to feel not so good.

notes: as requested! i don’t think i specified that it was twins but it still works. dad!ruben has to be my fav genre 🤪 i hope you all enjoy, some very cute at moments 💘 let me know what you all think! <3

IT WAS MATCH DAY, and although you were feeling rough like you had done the last 7 months, you had promised your fiancé you would make it to today’s knockout game rather than watching from home. he wanted you to support from the stadium, but he also wanted to get you out of the house too.

you were 32 weeks along and feeling very heavily pregnant.

yeah, it’s all fun and games when dating a tall man until you have to grow his unnecessarily large children.

all you wanted to do was lie down and moan this entire trimester, having nothing but a hard time with this one you were growing. you’d had every bad symptom imaginable, from the nonstop sickness and heartburn, to back and hip pain, difficulty sleeping and sore boobs, and now in the final stages you were experiencing braxton hicks, so yeah - all you did want was to lie down and whine. more than ever, you just wanted to stay in the comfort of your own home and nest.

“—you’re not even nesting though! you’re sitting here watching tv all day! get up and get ready!” rúben had said to you just yesterday morning after you’d told him you were too busy nesting to grab a coffee with him before training.

“mama, i think you should go tomorrrow . .” another sweet voice said from the sofa, glancing sympathetically in your direction.

your sweet boy, elias, didn’t want to offend you and make you feel like a slob, but he really wanted you both to go to his papa’s games. with school, you didn’t allow him to go to any late night matches which were always the majority, but tomorrow’s kickoff was 3:30pm and when he pitched the idea, you felt awful for feeling like you’d deprived him of some fun memories.

you really didn’t want to go, but your baby boy deserved it. he’d been working so hard in the last weeks of school and rúben would agree that you needed to take him - he wanted you both there just as much but he also knew not to tell a pregnant woman what to do - he wasn’t the one carrying an 8lb baby around in all summer.

“you nearly ready, baby?!” you called from your room, trying your best to look acceptable for today’s outing. you couldn’t remember the last time you’d done your makeup and styled your hair so neatly, baby dias was really kicking your butt that you hardly had any energy after a shower, let alone doing your makeup and hair.

you really needed them out so you could go back to your old self.

you didn’t remember pregnancy being this hard with eli. with him, you were able to get through the rest of school with him growing in your belly! taking notes and listening in class. sure, you had sickness and a sore back but that was really only at the start and at the end. given, you were younger and full of energy.

eli came along in the last of your teen years but you wouldn’t change anything for the world, same with rúben. he blamed that baby boy for being the reason he pushed himself so hard to get where he was today. he was such an easy pregnancy, and an easy kid.

being honest, you felt more unprepared for this new baby as a grown adult than you did as a teenager back in 2016.

with a few thuds across the landing and a solid jump at your bedroom door, you turned to see your 8-year-old all ready holding two thumbs up. with a man city kit on and trainers, he looked like rúben more than ever. seriously, if you got a photo of rúben back then, it was like looking at eli with a slightly different haircut. it scared you so much. “ready!”

traffic was always bad no matter what time you left, but you got there in one piece and already left eli with one of your closest friends and bernardo’s wife, ines, while you had to run to the bathroom even after such a short journey. jeans were longgg out of the equation so you’d gone with some loose, white trousers to go with the blue football shirt, hoping they didn’t wrinkle too much but still looked good with the outfit. “you are glowing!”

“no, it’s probably just my highlighter,” you pointed to your cheekbone as ines laughed cheerfully.

“no! you look amazing, what are you talking about?! i have missed you!” she couldn’t help but hug you again. “you’re ready to pop!”

she felt your bump and you huffed a sigh, pulling your sunglasses down, “i know, it feels like it.”

you didn’t really like being out this far along, not because you were afraid, but you were at that stage were you were starting to feel gross. like, you looked like a whale no matter what you wore or styled yourself to look like. realistically – you were one of the most beautiful pregnant women the internet had saw. truly, you may have felt like an elephant, but you were still posted on WAG accounts, getting shared by millions of women who begged they could only look as good as you when pregnant or better - envied you for still looking so hot while suffering the struggles of pregnancy.

how?! 😭❤️

life’s not fair!!!! 😫

what’s her secret?!!! 😍😭🙏🏼

but you could have gotten a thousand comments like that . . but all it took was the one bad one.

fucking hell, keep her inside 😂🫣

who is that??

🤣🤣🤣🤮🤮

a lot of the time you didn’t care because you knew how the internet worked, and you know the majority were sad-little-pathetic-football-fan men. they barely impacted you.

when it was women on the other hand . . .

“i just can’t believe one woman would say that to another woman,” you tilted your phone to show ines the replies. “what happened to the whole ‘girls help girls?’” you had to put your phone down before you ended up on a gossip page for arguing with people in your comment section.

“it’s always down to jealousy, babe. they hate you ‘cause they ain’t you,” she pointed, the same thing you had told her when she got her first negative comment, and you smiled at her attempt of making you feel better. she was such a good friend.

the internet was a weird place. your life was a weird place, you didn’t think there’d be a day people hated you for simply being with a person. you found it weird paparazzi followed you around when rúben was the famous one. you found it weird there were accounts dedicated to you when you didn’t do anything. it caught you off seeing people notice every little thing about you or knew things you forgot you’d explained. it did add a little bit of pressure knowing you were being watched and most likely compared to other beautiful WAGS. you’d be lying if you didn’t say you’d put on makeup in fear you’d be posted all over those news articles and WAG accounts.

you forgot how stressed matches made you until kickoff, two minutes in and already overthinking how this would go down. rúben had your heart fluttering nontheless with how he ran up and down the pitch, giving orders all sweaty and even repping the captain band for a bit. it made you feel real good about your baby daddy.

“come on, pa!” your son would shout when a bit of a ruffle would occur, his father speaking passionately to the ref with frustrating hand movements.

the halftime whistle blew and you let out a breath, fanning yourself as your body relaxed for a small moment. 0-0. “ma, i need to go to the bathroom.”

“me too, let’s go!”

perks of dating a footballer? renting out their own box for friends and family - including the private bathroom. no queues around hereee.

walking through the rows and steps, you couldn’t help but feel eyes pinned to you. ines would tell you because you’re a WAG of a player (you regret ever educating her on that term) but really you felt like it was because you looked like a whale making her way through the stands.

eli convinced you to do a lap of the stadium just once to ‘stretch your legs’ when really it was something he always liked to do as he believed it ‘made halftime pass quicker’. so hobbling around with few staff members recognising the kid (or rather seeing the clear evidence he was a mini rúben) , you strolled around the packed building, trying to squeeze past football fans, getting stopped once for a picture.

“thank you so much!”

“no worries at all,” you waved to the two girls, shooting them your kindest smile. they were so lovely, and even complimented you for ‘pulling off pregnancy so well’.

“you’re sLayiNg” eli mocked them, taking your hand.

“shut up,” you tutted. you appreciated being told you were still slaying.

“matt!”

the 8-year-old suddenly bolted to a familair security guard in a neon vest who was delighted to see the boy. “my man!”

you didn’t bother rushing over, you were out of breath as it was and decided to just lean on the wall while elias got his quick catch up, waving at matt instead. halftime was almost over. you should be heading back now.

“—not the best one though.”

“—no, sasha is definitely the best wag.”

i swear, the word ‘wag’ triggers you like nothing else.

you tried not to look around, but to your left, you could make out two bodies mingling with each other. both wearing light blue tops with stylish jeans and trainers, the two girls waiting outside the bathroom, trying to talk quietly between then in a mumbled manner.

you were a mum - you had mastered your hearing to hear the grass grow.

“–but sasha’s not pregnant?”

“–but if she was, she’d have a cute bump, not . . ”

their silence had you believe they’d glance in your direction, and it took every bone in your body not to stare dead on at them with a smile to let them know you heard every word - but you didn’t. you played oblivious and stayed watching eli, a forced sweet smile on your lips.

“–foden’s girl always has a cute little bump too!”

“–oh my god, yes. she’s stunning.”

“–he’s stunning too, to be fair.”

“eli, come on son!” you wanted to bang your head on the wall not wanting to endure the conversation anymore. now you’d tune in, you couldn’t tune out.

“–ok. bye matt! see you later,” he didn’t waste a second to return to you. “see you soon, buddy!”

you waved at matt and led him through the crowds, not meaning to hold his hand so tight until he pointed it out. “ow, ma, you’re hurting me.”

“sorry baby.” you didn’t sound sorry but you felt utterly hot and bothered. and not in the good way.

for some unreasonable reason, a small line of carts drove through the halls, and you stood against the wall as they passed by, holding your son by his shoulders. you could hear a small utter of whispers from your side but refused to turn your head. you really needed to fucking sit down.

“—dias’ girl! look at the size of her!”

“–rob that’s so mean! she’s pregnant!”

“WOW!” eli stole your attention as he almost stepped out in front of a last minute one zooming by. you smiled, and quickly manoeuvred him on your way.

“keep going, keep going,” you shuffled behind him in the stands, but stopped amidst a waiting line as someone caused hassle. your foot kicked something. “oh i’m so sorry!”

you accidentally tapped your foot to a lady’s handbag, but she smiled and waved you off. “you’re alright, don’t worry!” shortly adding, “i’m not surprised!” glancing to your belly.

it wasn’t malicious, but it was about to be the last straw of some floodgates. “ha! i know . . I’m like a whale.”

“how far along are you?” her friend asked.

“about 7-8 months,” you smiled sweetly, ignoring the fact they didn’t assure you that you didn’t look like a whale. thanks.

“oh wow!”

“i know,” you fake laughed. why wasn’t this line moving?

“is it twins or just the one?”

you tried to stop your eye twitching. who in the right kind said that?! was that . . a backhanded compliment?! what that even a compliment?! or was she genuinely asking in a stupid and nosey manner? “no, but it feels like it,” you fake laughed, and they did too. twats.

“oh my! you’re so big!”

“he or she will be a big boy or girl,” the other corrected with her pint in hand, knowing her friend’s words had just flown out of her mouth.

“yeah . .” you were done with this conversation but you didn’t dare be rude. thankfully, the line moved, and they waved goodbye. “congratulations!”

“thank you!” you replied, turning back around, mouthing absolute knobheads.

“mum, i don’t think you’re a whale,” eli’s hand patted your own that rested on his shoulder, bringing you back down to earth.

your heart thumped and although he didn’t look at you, your heart melted to a puddle as you squeezed his shoulders and ruffled his hair, knowing you’d embarrass him with a kiss. “thank you baby. you’re always to sweet to me.”

and he was. you actually . . wanted to cry. shock.

“hey!” ines greeted. ��where’d you guys go?”

you only shook your head and nodded to you son who was standing again, ready and recharged for more yelling. you felt ines squeeze your hand and you looked at her, “are you ok? you look . .”

“yeah, i’m fine,” you dabbed your eyes and put your sunglasses back on. “just . . stupid stuff, and then e said something really sweet and i just,” you held your heart which made her laugh and reassure her for the time being. “ok, but . . you can tell me, y’know?”

“just being emotional,” you said the obvious, making her laugh as you leaned into her for support.

you would tell her later, but right now, you were going to use the rest of the game as your excuse to start screaming.

-

the game ended on a win. you saw rúben briefly when the players walked around and applauded, and eli mirrored his excitement and happiness, waving and calling to him as he spotted you guys. he was ecstatic you could make it.

it was after 6 by the time you got home and settled. you were about to order food when you second guess your options, today’s events replaying in your mind:

look at the size of her!

sasha would have a cute bump.

you’re so big!

you knew you were pregnant but there were far nicer things to say to a pregnant lady. what a bunch of assholes.

instead, you cooked some carbs up for eli and made yourself a seperate dinner, feeling the need to watch what you were eating now - you’d be giving birth soon and all those pregnancy cravings didn’t just leave when the baby came. you weren’t silly - you weren’t going to deprive yourself of food, but maybe they had a point - why wasn’t your bump considered cute? was it hard to tell you were pregnant? what were you doing differently?

you were on the verge of calling sasha and asking her what she put in her green smoothies when the door opened.

“meu amor?”

“in here champ,”

something rúben didn’t expect to see what you lying on the couch with a salad balanced on your bump, and you munching away like it was a 5-star dish. “what’s this about . . ?” he smiled sceptically, dropping his bag to the floor.

“what’s what?”

“that.” he nodded to your plate.

you shrugged. “took a notion for it.”

“for . . a salad?” he clarified, looking down at you, entertained in some sense.

your craving for the last 5 months had been anything with chocolate frosting on it. rúben had watched you talk yourself out of buying a tub of it on its own because you knew if was weird and would have to bake go use it.

“yeah.”

to be fair, the salad was tasty, and you were enjoying it but . . at 7 months pregnant? rúben tilted his head. “where’s eli?”

“is his room.”

“he had salad too?”

“he had pasta and garlic bread.”

now he knew something was up. you? not eating garlic bread? italian in general?

someone had said something to you.

he looked at you concerningly, but he was too afraid to ruin the peaceful moment. you seemed calm. he had won a game and you were in a good mood today. baby boy or girl mustn’t be giving you too much trouble so that was a win in itself. so he just leaned down and kissed you lovingly. “hi.”

“hi,” you smiled, pecking him three more times before he rose again. “well done today.”

“thank you,” his hand touched your belly for about two seconds before you swept it off smoothly with your own, squeezing it instead. you smiled up at him again, “love you.”

he kissed you again trying to hide his confusion – but something was up. you were being odd. “love you too.”

and he left and headed for eli’s room, leaving you to let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding before slouching again and continuing with your dinner.

-

the rest of that evening, rúben was correct. you weren’t yourself.

your mind was somewhere else, and your head wasn’t out of your phone. constantly scrolling, you had overanalysed every picture captured of you today and tried not to nitpick. reading comments. comparing yourself. he wondered what you were doing.

but everyone else did have small bumps. everyone’s looked so cute. they didn’t use pregnancy as an excuse to eat whatever they wanted or slack with self-care. they still wore tight clothing. they still looked gorgeous. you began to compare yourself to all these other wives and girlfriends on the page, wondering how on earth they looked that good.

ummmm, ‘cause maybe they’re 12 weeks along and you’re triple that?

the next morning, rúben kissed you in the kitchen before leaving. “what’s that?”

“what?”

“that,” he nodded to the drink in your hand.

“a smoothie?”

“for breakfast?”

“well yeah,” you furrowed your brows, and he immediately shook his head, pulling that judgemental, disapproving look you sometimes wanted to punch. “no, no, come on, don’t be silly, now,” he almost laughed, “you need to eat something proper.”

“it’s a smoothie, it has everything i need in it?”

“y/n, make something to eat. you’re almost 8 months pregnant for crying out loud,” he looked at you seriously. he didn’t want to sound like he was scolding you or making you feel stupid but you knew he was worried about the lack.

overprotective rúben had always been a constant in your relationship but when you were pregnant — phew, “you got my baby in there.”

“–and he or she is looked after, it’s a healthy drink—”

he took it from your hand and kissed your cheek in the process, taking it with him to training with a smirk, “stop being lazy and cook.”

you were furious. you were actually annoyed that he had taken the drink himself and didn’t find it funny. he kissed eli’s head and the door closed, and you were left highly irritated.

you couldn’t see eli shrink, but he did, looking wide-eyed at the table as he considered his dad a brave brave man in that moment to do that to you - considering the look of your face.

and as a pregnant woman with her emotional struggling to stay in check - you lost it as they all blended together once eli was dropped off at school, sitting in a car park of a café you regretted going too now that you sat with your decaf latte and triple-choc muffin. the frustration quickly turned to tears as you had a moment, eyes in your hands, thinking over everything the last couple days.

yes you were pregnant, but was there a need to be that big? were you even that big compared to others? were you really that bad to look at? that unflattering? did it even looking like you were pregnant? the loose clothing probably didn’t help, but who wanted to wear tight clothing? pregnancy was hard - it was hard to glamourise it all the time!

you’d never cried over looking bad the first time you were pregnant, maybe once or twice when a pair of jeans didn’t fit or you couldn’t reach your shoelaces, but never over the way you felt about yourself. you actually were starting to feel disgusting, and it was embarrassing because you let randomers make you feel this way!

. . and then the pathetic-ness turned into anger because why were people such assholes?! how can they not keep an opinion to themselves?! making you feel bad about your baby!

. . and then the anger turned to guilt because your sweet little baby was just trying to grow and be healthy and you were upset over it. tears again.

you didn’t know how to fix it. the damage was already done, you had a month left, there was no going back now with salads and smoothies, you yanked your paper bag with your muffin off the floor, eating your money’s worth. rúben subconsciously popped into your head as he was probably eating some fruit salad or nutritious sandwich at this time.

oh rúben. you wished he was here but you also knew you wouldn’t want him near you at the minute, not when you weren’t feeling yourself and you had people in your comments telling you he was on his way of replacing you.

he would call you stupid, but rúben just wouldn’t understand. he wouldn’t get being on the other side, the built in competition that automatically comes with being a woman, more than ever with this lifestyle he had given you. one where you’re compared left right and centre with a certain standard to achieve.

you bet every handbag you owned, he’d screw his face up and go ‘are you serious’ if you told him your issue. he knew you were above anyone commenting stupid things on your posts and found it immature of you in a way if you did take those things to heart - i mean they were nobodies! jealous nobodies! but that’s easy for him to say, his comments are flooded with never ending support, guys praising him for his talent, physique and hard work and most girls telling him to hurry up and leave you. spamming with flame and tongue emojis, thirsting over your man just the way you did, only boosting his ego more which rúben did not need.

so you just felt silly, and picked at your muffin, accepting your were going to be a whale wag.

you felt like a slob when you got back home, staying on the couch after cleaning, and then crying except you were watching a movie to blame it on that.

you still couldn’t get comments out of your head, i mean what was an ‘expired wag?!’ or a ‘busted oven?!’ what did that mean? and why always the skull emojis?!

scrolling once again through photos of comparison, you scrolled onto a beautiful pic of your beautiful bestie, ines, and straight away phoned her. “hey.”

“hey! what’s up! what’s going on? why do you sound you out of breath?”

“why do you think?” you laughed.

“girl are you crying again?!”

and you started talking. you had to get things off your chest and you needed ines to make you feel better, to assure you and let you rant, and she happily did, after all, you’d always been there when she was having a moment.

“–what did rúben say?”

“nothing, i haven’t told him anything. he’ll just tell me i’m being ridiculous.”

“he won’t!”

“ines, he would, he’s not like bernardo. rúben’s harsh!”

“so are you! which is why i can’t believe you’re still crying over this!”

he was harsh in the good way, in the same way you were. you were both practical. real. realistic. you picked each other up and told each off when you were being ridiculous. pulled each other out their asses. brought you back down to earth.

but you just needed comforted at this current moment by your girl.

as you continued to chat and laugh more than you thought, the front door opened without your acknowledgment and rubes stepped through. freshly showered after a long morning of training, he instantly heard your voice rambling over the phone. he took notice of the tissue also crumpled on the floor by the door (you’d been carelessly tossing them for dramatic effect) and paused after he thought he’d heard a sad sniffle. he closed the door quietly and crept near the living room.

“i can’t help it, i do just feel . . blegh,” you felt like you were being ridiculous but you couldn’t help it. “like, why does everyone keep making a big fuss about it? am i really that massively huge or am i just not liked?”

he heard another woman’s laughter on your phone and recognised her as soon as she began talking to you, “y/n, i promise no one is making a fuss of it, it probably just seems in your face all the time because you keep going back to check. i promise the world is not broadcasting you,” ines chuckled sweetly, which followed your sad laugh also.

“well the wag world does!”

“y/n!” she laughed, “you’re overthinking it. i promise you have nothing to worry about. the only person who’s opinion should matter to you is rúben’s and everybody knows he has you on a pedestal!” rúben found himself smiling. he’d always been a fan of ines. “he’s called you his wife since you came to manchester! he’s always been proud to show you off, you look good - you look amazing! people are just saying that stuff about you to make themselves feel better.”

“mm, i guess,” you sniffed, holding your forehead. “i don’t know, it’s just been getting to me . . and i’m not saying to rúben because he’ll tell me i’m being stupid. i wouldn’t be surprised if he was leaving an hour earlier in the mornings to get away from me. it’s not like my looks can make up for my psycho-ness anymore,” you joked.

“y/n!” she tried not to laugh. “though, pregnancy psycho-ness is definitely real.”

it is, rúben mentally agreed also, though his heart still sank further as he heard you talk about yourself in such ways. he didn’t want to call you ridiculous but come on, you were pregnant! didn’t they all count as compliments to a pregnant lady?!

“it is,” you let out a sigh, “i wouldn’t want to be around me either, just this big angry rhino walking around the house,” you laughed together, “he goes to a paris event on friday anyway, he’ll get a break and have plenty of french models to—”

a clear of a throat had you whipping your head to the door, seeing rúben’s hard stare. your mouth went dry. “uhhh, ines i’ll call you back.”

you felt bad hanging up as she was speaking back, too shocked you’d been heard rambling for the last couple minutes. or probably longer! how long had he been standing there?!

“listen—”

“french models?! french models, y/n.”

“rúben, it’s not in context—”

“oh i heard the context, i heard everything,” he came in the room, not one spot of happiness found on his face. he was fuming. you could tell, and disappointed too, you felt like eli getting told off by him, throwing yourself back into the couch as he stood with that gruff, intimidating look, hands shoved in his pockets.

“you don’t get it—” you could already feel the tears welling in your eyes, though a pit of frustration was brewing in your chest hot and fast. this was going one of two ways.

“what don’t i get? you don’t tell me what’s wrong when i ask you!”

“‘cause you wouldn’t understand!”

“ok but what i do understand is my wife accusing me of what? getting to pick which ‘french model’ i want to take home next week?”

now your face fell flat, realising how ridiculous and cruel that sounded. you shouldn’t accuse him of that kind of stuff.

“rubes, i just—” your mouth felt dry again. tears brimming again, you could feel how hot they were. the words were on the tip of your tongue but you didn’t know how they were gonna come out.

“what is it? tell me,” he pushed, eager for you to actually get out what you wanted to say so he could help sort it. “i’m here to listen.”

and you did, you unleashed it all. “people are assholes. your fans are assholes. i’m sorry but i cannot believe the stuff people have no issue saying to other people - pregnant people at that! as if the 9 months aren’t hard enough, i have this mob of men and women on my back, judging and critiquing my every outting. i can’t do it anymore, it’s actually ruining whatever self-confidence i have left!” the tears were streaming as you began your rant, choking down sobs as you moved your hands, a fury behind all the sadness.

rúben crouched down, wanting to be nearer as you let it all out. “every day, every hour, i have someone online, reminding me off how big i am, how unflattering my paparazzi pic is, how whale-like i am! how hard it’s gonna be to shift this baby weight! i’m getting put in competition with every other pregnant wife and girlfriend of your teammate and showed how much better they pull it off! how gorgeous they look all the time! how their bumps are ‘cute’ and small and ‘suits them.’ i heard it myself at your game the other day! it’s like they’ve never seen an un-photoshopped pregnant woman before!” you met his eyes, realising you were probably being silly and that there were bigger problems in the world. “i just feel disgusting, rúben. i never felt like this with eli, i was in this perfect little bubble but this time so different. i don’t want to leave the house when i know a monstrosity of photos are getting taken of me, pointing out every flaw. i don’t have a cute, small bump! i do look like a whale! i can’t dress sexy! and i get what people are saying when they say it’ll be a bit before you can look at me again ‘cause god knows—”

“shh,” he quickly silenced you, placing a finger to your lips. his brows were furrowed as yours did, fed up of hearing you ramble about all the bad things about yourself. he felt pain in a way. he just couldn’t believe you actually thought these things about yourself. “wha— . . . are you being serious?”

“OH MY GOD!” you threw your arms up. see!

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry, meu amor,” his big hands softly caressed your legs in front of him, along your smooth thighs to stop you from exploding again, “i’m sorry. it’s just . . i . . it annoys me that you let these things get to you, these random, strange people that you don’t even know. you take their opinion over mine. so mine doesn’t matter, it doesn’t count?” he looked you deeply in the eye, “how does that make sense? explain that to me.”

your head hit the cushion as you groaned but rúben held your hands comfortingly. he didn’t want to make you feel stupid, but he wanted to hear your thought process. “to me, it’s like . . you have the choice of walking into a room full of all these people who hate you, and you know the hate you, after being in one full of people you love . . and you go into the hateful one and are surprised that all these people are saying all these bad things about you when you could have just left it alone and focused on the lovely ones - from people who matter to you! who are actually in your life! do you understand?”

you nodded along, entranced by his eyes and how they were able to ground you alone. “you know that i think you’re the best thing in the world. you know i would love you if—” he thought off the top of his head, “you had 10 extra toes. a third eye. if you had a cow nose. elf ears!” your hair slipped silkily through his fingers, “you know i think you’re the most beautiful woman ever even dressed in a trash bag. i would still love you if you did wear trash bags. if you had a cow nose. if you weighed the same as a cow. if you weighed the same as a baby cow,” you broke a chuckle at that. “i’ve loved you through our ugly teen years, when i shaved my hair and your eyebrows were stick thin,” you laughed more as he let out a breath of relief, “i loved you when with vomit down your shirt and your hair dyed that weird colour—”

“rúbennn . .”

“what? and i loved you when you had eli in your stomach, and he was big baby,” his hand touched your belly, moving it in the same motion he always did because that’s when he got to feel the small kicks of this baby dias. “i loved you even more even when i saw how he came out,” he shot you a wildered look.

you facepalmed, dragging your hand down dreadfully at the thought of having to relive that moment all over again in over a months time.

his features turned as his thoughts turned sour, “why are you letting stupid fucking people affect you?”

“i don’t know . . i guess ‘cause so many people are saying it i . . it must be true to some extent—”

“y/n—”

“seriously, rúben. i don’t have a cute, small bump. ines and rebecca are always such sweet—”

“Y/N! have you SEEN the size of bernardo and phil next to me! is it any wonder they’re small! their child comes out the same size as them!” his hand shot out with passion.

now your head was in your hand with muffled laughter, caught off guard by his statement. “seriously! seriously, now you’re supposed to be the smart one,” he tried to look at you, that loving smile shining your way as his heart sang at the sound of you laughter. “you’re shocked that me, that we, have big babies . . that ines has a much smaller bump than you . . are you serious? that rebecca has a smaller bump than you? rebecca, phil and elway stacked on top of each other wouldn’t even reach the height of me!”

“rúben,” you laughed, feeling an actual blush of embarrassment coat your face at how stupid he’d made you feel, but in a good way.

he was so right. what were you thinking?

“i’m like, the biggest guy on the team! sorry i didn’t realise that was gonna be a problem for you,” you lightly hit his shoulder to wrap up the sarcasm, still giggling. he looked at you from the floor, his hands still on you, on your leg on bump — the bump that he did make look small next to his hand. “and please remember you’re a month away from giving birth, you’re supposed to be a healthy size. and i been going to training an hour earlier ‘cause i know when this one comes along, i’ll not want to go as much and i’ll want to stay with you both. i’ll start working on my dad bod . .” he felt the small, subtle movement happening inside, but he could feel them if he kept still enough.

“you’d look good with both.” you rolled your eyes.

“and you’d still look better. y/n, you’re not a whale. please stop saying that,” he finally crept to his feet, climbing on the couch on top of you, leaning his arm behind your head. “you are the most beautiful-est woman to me and no-one, NO-ONE can convince me otherwise. you’re my standard of perfect, of gorgeous and sexy and all the rest of it. i’ve found you sexy before this baby, during this baby, and after this baby — i still get comments of people telling me how ugly i look when you’re next to me! you bring my value down!”

his arm wrapped around your neck while the other threw itself over your bump, shifting and snuggling into the sofa more comfortingly, you relaxed alongside him, the tears no trickling down but with good reason behind them as you were shocked to find your love growing even more for rúben when you thought it was impossible. “i don’t know what comments you’re seeing because all i see are the ones calling you a milf, and it takes too much time to try and report them all.”

you held his hand at your shoulder, his lips kissing your cheek repeatedly, over and over again. you knew how much he loved you. “yeah, you’re right. fans are just . . assholes.”

“fans are assholes,” he agreed, stroking your cheekbone, “. . don’t listen to them. you think i listen to everything they say about me?” he perked a brow.

sometimes! you wanted to say but knew better. it was rhetorical question, and you knew his sweet intentions.

“alright? i don’t so why should you? you’re hot stuff babe,” he looked at the side of your face, inspecting every little freckle and faint scar, he just wanted to never stop kissing you. “i love you the way you are. eli loves you for the way you are, and this baby,” he rubbed circles on your belly, “he or she is going to be so unbelievably lucky when they see who they have as their mam. i know it’s not the smallest bump but i think it’s the cutest i’ve ever saw, with my baby girl or boy in there,” he kissed the size of your stomach. he grew more and more excited each day as he got a day closer to meeting who was inside. he couldn’t wait. “. . who they get their good looks from and skill and personality - well, i mean i would like to take some credit for the both of those ‘cause i mean their daddy is pretty c—”

you playfully jabbed his side, making him laugh. “yeah, he’s the hottest one on the field,” you glanced at him, kissing his cheek.

one thing about him, he’d always blessed you with beautiful children.

“yeah, and their mum is coolest one at the school pick up,” his lips trailed along your cheek to your jaw, the slight scruff of his beard tickling you. “you’re the biggest milf to walk the planet–”

“rúbennn,” you chuckled, blushing at his words whilst trying to push him away.

“i’m serious,” he proceeded, peppering kissed down your neck, “and she’s coming to paris with me for the weekend so she can outshine me like she does at every event she comes to.”

you laughed at that, smiling dreamily as he proceeding to love on you.

“and eli?”

“elias gets to stay with his favourite uncle who owes a favour,” he winked.

“hmm. ok.”

“and i’ll give her a reason to cry if she starts thinking like that again,” he whispered in your ear.

your heart slipped a beat. “oh yeah?”

“ohh yeahhh,” he nodded, standing to his feet, not before a loud ‘smack’ echoed the room as he mimicked what your poor backside would get if you kept up that kind of behaviour. “see you upstairs, mama.”

you blew your hair from your face, heart thumping, your hands slowly crept up to your adorable little bump where you caressed it gently as he headed for upstairs, whispering softly, “you are soo lucky he’s your papai.”

your heart raced as he peeled his hoodie off, back muscles staring right at you as he headed for your room, you felt your insides begin to sizzle.

— but you were even luckier he was your husband.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || Finding A Pregnancy Test

BTS X Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - January 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

SEOKJIN: When Jin first found the pregnancy test he'd been freaking out about the whole thing and had made an excuse so that he could get out of the house and get some time to think for himself. Sure, he'd always wanted kids with you and had imagined his little family with you but wasn't it too soon? The two of you were married, sure, but it was still too soon. You had so long to go before the two of you could have kids and he had so many places he wanted to take you before it happened. But knowing that you were pregnant was also filling him with so much joy it was battling over the dread he was thinking when it came to being a father, all of the questions and worries he had were melting away the more he thought about holding his child in his hands.

"Where did you run off to?" You giggled as your husband walked through the door holding a small bag in his hands and a giant grin on his face.

"I got you a present." He held out the bag for you and you took it, pausing your laundry task and opening the bag to find a baby growth inside. You frowned at the small piece of clothing,

"I know you were holding the test because you were scared but we can do this...together." Slowly you looked up to meet your husband's gaze but you were still just as confused as before. What test was he talking about and what did it have to do with a baby-growth? 

"Do what? What test?" 

"The pregnancy test...in our room, you had it in your wardrobe door." The pieces finally began to click together and you whimpered a little.

"Oh baby...T-That wasn't for me. Kat came around yesterday and she did a test, it's hers." The smile that was once spread across Jin's face was wiped clean and you could have sworn he let out a breath.

"Are you upset?" You questioned as you reached out to rub his arm, it was a conflicting feeling. It must have felt the same way to him as it did to you when you'd wake from a dream of having children only to not have them in your life.

"A little...I'm also relieved, is that bad?" His eyes shifted to yours and you smiled at him.

"No. We're still young Jin, we have plenty of time to have kids in the future, it's just not our time right now." YOONGI: As soon as Yoongi found the pregnancy test worry began to wash over him but not because of the thought of you being pregnant but because you felt as though you had to hide it from him. Not that it was really that well hidden, he'd walked into the bathroom looking for some painkillers and found the test stashed behind the first aid box.

Were you scared he was going to react poorly? The two of you had been together for almost 10 years now, maybe it was time you started to talk about having kids. It wasn't something he'd never wanted but it had always been something he put on hold for his job.

"Why would you hide this?" He questioned as he walked back into the bedroom, you stopped moisturising your face and turned to look at what he was holding up for you to see.

"I wasn't. It's not mine," You laughed a little walking over to him and looking at the test. You hadn't taken one in a month or so, since you always took one once a month or so just to make sure you weren't pregnant.

"Kat must have done it when she came by this morning." You shrugged your shoulders, reaching for your phone to let her know you'd found the test and ask why she hadn't told you.

"Ew!" The stick was quickly dropped onto the floor making you laugh at your boyfriend's reaction, he was always a little more overdramatic than he needed to be.

"It has a cap on the part where she peed, relax." You giggled shaking your head at him and picking up from the floor, listening to the phone ring as you waited for Kat to answer you. HOSEOK: Once Hoseok found the test it was like nothing could shut him up about it, it didn't matter that he hadn't checked with you whether it was yours or not, none of that mattered. What mattered was telling the boys all about it with a giant grin on his face.

"Why didn't you tell us together? Surely it's something you share?" Jimin questioned, it seemed a little strange to him and the rest of the members that you weren't also there to tell them about your pregnancy.

"I mean, Yn would have told you but she doesn't know that I know." Hoseok must not have realised how weird it sounded as the boys stared at him, blinking and wondering where to unpack that.

"What?" Jin asked finally breaking the silence,

"Yeah, that sounds weird," Taehyung added, but Hoseok shook his head at them. He was sure you were just going to tell him in your own time but he wanted to be the first one to tell the boys. He was too excited about it,

"Well I found the test and I know she's pregnant," As soon as you heard the words you placed the bags of shopping down and stared at the back of your boyfriend's head as he continued to tell the boys of your pregnancy, which wasn't true.

"For the record, I'm not pregnant." You told him as you walked into the living room and giggled as Hoseok practically jumped out of his skin when he heard you.

"And the pregnancy test you're holding is Kat's. She kept it here, she's planning on surprising her boyfriend with it." Suddenly the test was dropped onto the floor and Hoseok was wiping his hands down his jumper as if he was trying to wash germs off.

"Gross. I told you, Yn would be here if she was pregnant." Jimin laughed shaking his head at Hoseok who was running to the kitchen to wash his hands. NAMJOON: Namjoon didn't waste any time when he found the test, as soon as he saw it in the bin he came out to the bedroom where you were getting ready for the day and sat on the edge of the bed. You were doing your usual routine and he swallowed the lump that was in his throat.

The two of you had spoken about starting a family together many times but you both agreed that the time wasn't right, right now and it would be something to look forward to in the future.

"Do you have something you want to tell me?" He quizzed, you glanced at him in the mirror frowning a little. He looked so serious that it worried you a little, you hadn't seen him look this serious since he asked you to marry him.

"What?" You laughed nervously,

"I found the test. I thought we were being careful, we use everything to protect this from happening." He began to mumble on about how he was doing everything he could to stop "this" from happening but you had no idea what "this" was. As he continued to ramble you got up and sat in front of him, holding his hands in yours and forcing him to stop and stare at you,

"Namjoon, what are you talking about?" 

"I found the pregnancy test yn, you don't have to pretend anymore." You thought back to the night before, you'd had the girls over for some drinks and Kat had disappeared for a while. Things finally began to click into place and you bit down on your lip.

"As cliche as this is going to sound, it's not mine."

"It's not?"

"No, it's Kat's. She must have thrown it away last night and not told me." You pouted a little, sad that your friend was hiding it from you.

"Joonie, if I thought I was pregnant I would come to you first, don't worry." You promised before kissing him softly. JIMIN: "What's taking so long? It hurts you know!" You called out to your boyfriend. You'd sent him to the bathroom to grab your tweezers so that he could pull an ingrown hair out of your leg but it seemed as though he'd gone to Narnia or something. He'd been in there for five minutes now and you were starting to worry he'd slipped and hurt himself.

"Jimin, they're on the top shelf." You whined coming into the bathroom and stalling when you saw him staring down at the four positive pregnancy tests that were in his hands. When he first saw them he hadn't even realised what they were but the closer he looked the more he began to focus on what it was and what it meant.

Were the two of you even ready for a baby? You were still in the honeymoon stage of your relationship, where everything was perfect and neither of you seemed to annoy the other one too much.

"You're pregnant?" His voice was soft as he stared at you and you shook your head, it was too soon in your relationship for it. You'd only been together for a few months,

"No! They're Kat's," You let out a breath as Jimin visibly relaxed and put the tests back where he got them from.

"She's planning on surprising Jake with the pregnancy and wanted to do the tests here." You shrugged it off,

"Good...I mean, good that she's pregnant, not good that it's not yours, not that I wouldn't be happy to have a baby with you but-" He was cut short by your lips on his and you giggled at how cute he was when he rambled.

"Relax, now can you come and get this hair out of my leg?" TAEHYUNG: "Taehyung, this is a girl's brunch." Your best friend said as your husband walked into the kitchen, he looked rather pale though which worried you a little. He'd only just gotten better, there was no way he was sick again,

"Are you feeling okay baby? Do you need some water?" You got up from the table, it didn't matter how old Taehyung was he was still your baby and when he was sick you got more worried than a mother with their child.

"Are you?" His voice cracked as he stared at you, and you frowned a little at him. What was he talking about? You felt fine and you had felt fine for weeks now.

"Do I need to do anything differently? Should I be making you food? carrying bags?" The more he spoke the further he confused you and Kat who stared at him,

"What?" You couldn't quite wrap your head around what he was asking you.

"I don't know the first thing about this. Do I need to book time off work now or do I do that when the baby comes?"

"What baby?" You screeched a little, did he know something you didn't?!

"Our baby." He said as if it was the most normal thing in the world for him to announce

"Our baby?" Your voice went up an octave as you stared at him with widened eyes

"Wait...guys." Kat tried to comment but Taehyung was quick to jump in,

"I found the test in the spare bathroom, I was looking for some shampoo and it was just there." You shook your head at him, it wasn't yours, you hadn't taken a test,

"Taehyung, it's mine!" Kat called out making you both stare over in her direction.

"Is that why you're having a virgin mimosa?" You stared at her and she nodded shyly at you,

"So it's not Yns?"

"No," Kat admitted,

"Thank god," Taehyung groaned sitting down and downing your drink in one go, making you laugh a little at him. 

"Not for a while yet baby, I promise." You and Kat laughed as your husband laughed nervously along with you both. JUNGKOOK:

Jungkook wasn't sure what he was supposed to do after he found the test but he called Jin right away who came straight to the house.

"Is Yn in bed?" Jin asked as he looked at the very scared-looking Jungkook,

"Yeah, I didn't know what to do, Hyung." Jungkook was shaking as he sat in the living room staring down at the test that was on the coffee table. He'd found it this morning when he was rushing to get ready for work.

"You need to talk to Yn." He'd told him this already but Jungkook shook his head.

"But what if she's hiding it for a reason? what if she doesn't want me to know."

"What if who's hiding what?" You asked tiredly as you walked into the living room, pausing when you saw the test on the coffee table.

"Congratulations Jin!" You screamed, the tiredness completely wiped from your body as you threw your arms around Jin who seemed just as confused as Jungkook by this point.

"It's not mine." Jin laughed a little and you got up, staring at the test and then at your boyfriend.

"Oh, then who's the test?" 

"Yours?" Jungkook frowned making you giggle and shake your head.

"Nah, I didn't take one." You hadn't needed to for a while since you were on the pill and used condoms. Sure there was a chance you could get pregnant but you hadn't taken a test recently at least.

"But, I found it in our bathroom." You stared at him and then shook your head, 

"Must have been Kat's she was acting all skittish yesterday when she came round." You yawned reaching for your phone, ready to give your best friend a piece of your mind for hiding it from you.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @tinyoonsblog @whitefoxgirl @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @wolfgurl2600 @choisoorin @heyjiminnie @btsiguess-kpop @alicejustwakeup @halesandy @gothic4under4lord @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lenfilms @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @namgiswife @delulu18 @stzatzch @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @swga-ficrecs @kpopmenace143 @loveforred @b1nn1e-1s-cut3

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: 8:45 PM 🔞

Tags/Warnings: Adult, smut-heavy, making out, Idol!Jungkook, Fluff, Established Relationship, implied foreigner!Reader, not home AU though, Jungkook struggling hard, misunderstanding, angst with happy end, emotional smut, oral (fem. Receiving), protected sex bc this is me writing this and I teach you kids the true life lessons

Lenght: long.

AU-Masterlist

Languages are marked as English / Korean.

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

He still can't believe your first time got interrupted by something as ridiculous as his manager calling him.

It's like a reminder that his career will always somehow wiggle itself between him and whatever happiness he tries to find outside of it- nothing ever truly personal for him, everything always meant to be well thought through so it fits into his public persona.

But he refuses to give you up, even knowing all of that.

Apologizing for it just feels.. odd now, like bringing up something awkward you did ten years ago that everyone forgot about anyway before you decided to rekindle the memory in their heads. But the problem here, right now, with you, is that he knows he should bring it up. Somehow. Because he's struggling hard to keep himself in check, even having had to embarrassingly rub one out in the shower this morning after you'd made yourself tea in his kitchen wearing nothing but a shirt and panties.

It's a problem.

He's hesitating to initiate anything now mainly because what if it happens again? He can't just put his phone on silent and ignore what could potentially always be very important calls from people who only want what's best for him in the long run- real life doesn't work like those movies where the protagonist throws it all away for his girl. He wants to, he truly does- but at the end of the day, he's also scared, because if he falls, he'll potentially take you down with him, and God knows how deep he'll fall with where he stands right now.

A drop from a height this high would shatter you inevitably, and he's sure he'd crack like delicate porcelain just as much by having to watch you suffer the consequences of his actions. You don't deserve that.

"..-ungkookie?" You try again, and he snaps out of his thought, looking at you.

"Hm?" He responds, looking at you next to him.

"I asked if you want me to cook for us tonight. Is that alright?" You wonder, and he nods, eagerly so, because of course he'd love to have you do something so domestic with him. He's always dreamed of being able to experience these things after all, despite his curse of being a public figure who's not supposed to appear unavailable. "Alright-!" You hum. "Gonna have to put pants on now though, gotta go get some groceries.." you whine under your breath as you stretch on the couch naked feet pushing against his thighs and oh, how your back arches-

No, bad brain. Not right now.

"I'll give you my card, hold on." He tries to save himself, getting up to fetch his wallet as you begin to laugh.

"Jungkook baby, I can cover some groceries, don't bother!" You argue softly, getting up as well before walking over to him. "You'll just have to survive some minutes without me, that's all." You tell him, hugging his middle as you put your chin on his chest, looking up at him. "Also, people would think I'm a gold digger for using a black card looking like.. well, me." You joke, as he can't help but reach out to affectionately brush some hair out your face, hands holding your cheeks.

"M'sorry." He mumbles, and you part a bit from him, serious at his tone of voice used.

"Hm? For what?" You wonder, and he sighs. Why did he bring it up now? This is going to be so awkward, he already dreads it. But now that he's put the noose around his neck, he might as well stand on the chair too.

"Yesterday. Or.. day before? Technically it was, wasn't it.." he rants, before sighing. "I hate that we.. had moment, you know, and then.. nothing. Ruined." He complains softly, and you can't help but look at him affectionately. He's such a soft soul sometimes, worries about so much that doesn't even need to be worried about.

"Jungkook, it's fine." You answer.

"Not fine-" he shakes his head. "Not fine, I- ugh, I want you, you know? Want to, but now, it's awkward and I don't know how to initiate it because every time I plan to I keep thinking of that moment he called and-" he groans in frustration, head thrown back before he looks down at you. "I'm sorry." He apologizes yet again, and you laugh.

"I forgot to pack socks for this trip, that's why I'm always barefoot in your apartment here." You say, and he blinks once, twice, before he looks at you, confused but amused the same.

"What?" He questions, tilting his head for a split second and you shrug.

"Now I've made an awkward moment for myself too. We're even." You explain, and he laughs.

"Thats not how that works-" he wants to argue but he inevitably leans down to kiss you- a peck quickly deepened by you, because God knows you want him just as much. But the struggle of initiating isn't solely his alone, because you don't know how to either. All is still new with your relationship, you don't even live together at this point in time, only a week more and you'll be back home trying to figure out how to move most of your stuff to his country so you can be closer. This was all a test, after all- to see if it's worth it. If you'll be okay.

And you know now, you'll be just fine with him at your side.

"Hm I need to get going now though-" you say, trying to escape him now- but he won't let you, hands firm on the small of your back as he keeps you against him, lips chasing yours making you giggle as you lean back as far as you can. "Jungkook!" You laugh, but he just playfully bites at your neck.

"No, I'm hungry." He mumbles against your skin, and you look at him, pushing against his chest.

"Yeah that's why I have to go? Get everything to cook?" You remind him, but he shakes his head, gaze making it clear that he doesn't care for that.

"Not.. that." He tells you. "Hungry for you." He says, raising his brows and you laugh at how ridiculous he's being. How can he be both so cute but also attractive at the same time? It's truly unfair.

"You're so cute." You tease, catching him off guard to escape his grasp and run into the bedroom to get some proper pants at least. But he's faster, palm slapping flat against the wood of his door before the momentum of his move slams it into the wall with a loud noise, making both of you jump for a second before he stalks towards you.

And once the backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed, you know you lost.

It's like his patience had finally snapped, his hands eagerly helping you out of his shirt, happily running his palms over your skin, warm and soft as you move around a bit to get comfortable. He sighs when his phone vibrates somewhere close- probably having fallen out of his pocket on the couch earlier, and you laugh, visibly uncaring of his misery. "Go get it." You tell him when it sounds again, and he groans out loudly as if he's in pain, angrily stomping back into the living room, where you can hear him answer the call with an annoyed tone to his voice. It surprises you when he walks back into the bedroom however, pointing to the shirt you're attempting to put back on, before he motions for you to put it back on the floor where he'd thrown it down earlier.

Just what is he thinking right now?

"Yeah, that's fine." He talks into the phone, his free hand untying the strings of your sweatpants, before he pulls on the hem, tapping your hips as if to silently ask you to lift them so he can get you out of those pants. "Not right now, but tomorrow is fine." He continues to talk to whomever is speaking to him over the phone, while simultaneously running his hand from the side of your knee, up to the hem of your underwear, the last item of clothing covering you at the moment. It's oddly exciting to see him so serious, yet clearly more focused on you than anything else.

You've never felt so adored before.

His fingers slip underneath the side of your panties, teasing you, so close yet way too far from where you'd like his hands to be most right now. And he's clearly aware of it too; if the hooded eyes and the small smirk on his lips was anything to go by. "No, right now.. I'm pretty busy. Sorry." He speaks again into the phone, thumb running over the dip between your inner thigh and your by now more than aching heat. He runs his tongue over his bottom lip for a second, before the whole thing visibly seems to edge him just as much- then tent in his pants evident.

"Alright, yeah, just- text the schedule to me and I'll talk to you tomorrow about it, okay?" He offers into the phone, moving to stand up and search for something in the drawer of his bedside table- colorful foil package pretty obviously hinting at what he means when he's said he's currently busy. "Alright, hmhm, yup- bye." He rushes out, ending the call before he throws his phone somewhere onto the shirt you'd been wearing, his eyes rolling in an annoyed manner before he takes off his own shirt, joining you on the bed.

"Did you really hang up on him like that?" You wonder, giggling when he has to sit back to slip out of his loose grey sweats as well, jumping on one foot for a bit as his other gets stuck in the fabric for a second.

"I'm not sorry." He shakes his head, crawling closer to you on the mattress to get a hold of both sides of your panties. "I've got my hot girlfriend all pretty and ready, no one can ever blame me for being needy." He shrugs, shaking his hair out of his face before he tries to pull your underwear off. "Hey come on now!" He whines almost, a stark contrast to the tattooed, muscled appearance of him currently already flushed and fully erect, straining against the cotton of his own underwear.

"Needy." You tease, and suddenly, as if you'd pushed a button, as he suddenly pulls on the fabric with more determination, successfully getting rid of the item of clothing with a gaze that screams fake innocence. Jungkook isn't new to sex, and neither are you- but it's the first time doing it with each other, which naturally places a bit of pressure onto you.

Or maybe it usually should be like that- because somehow, it all comes naturally.

When his hand finds your heat, you're already melting underneath his gaze, no words spoken as he leans further over you, catching your lips again. Only that this time, he truly seems hungry; no longer offering you fleeting pecks but desperate kisses that try and convey just how much he wants you right now. He knows that he could never truly make it clear to you though- because he himself doesn't even know if that's possible.

He's never wanted anyone so bad.

And while usually not too fond of it, his need to prove himself as the perfect lover- emotionally and physically- makes him detach himself from you for a second, before he adjusts his position, leaning down to have you lay your legs over his shoulders, hands holding your thighs apart as he lays his mouth onto your heat.

It's an entirely new experience for you, and he knows.

But luckily, if your Impatient whining was anything to go by, you're definitely enjoying yourself as he flattens his tongue over your sensitive nerves, eyes focused on you while he has to use a little strength to keep your legs apart, especially when you grow close to your first orgasm. He's eager to see it, moving away to gain a better view before one of his hands finishes the job, gaze on you as you arch your back and come undone from his actions.

And its now that he really can't take it any longer.

"Fuck I need you." He curses under his breath, finally getting rid of the last item of clothing he still had on until now, no need to give his length any form of help to get ready for you. He can't help but groan a little under his breath at how sensitive he feels, rushing the act of wrapping the condom over as to not rile himself up too much.

After all, he wants to be inside you for his own orgasm, no matter what.

"Hm I'll go slow, ok?" He asks, and you nod, hands reaching out for him, making him chuckle. "You're cute." He comments, earning a roll of your eyes in return. He lets it go for now- giving you a pass this time, but only because be truly feels needy now.

He'd love to tease you a little, make you all whiny and desperate for him, but right now, he just wants you as close as he physically can get.

Though in his haste to get onto his own road towards pleasure, he never forgets you- pride swelling as he watches you hold onto him, wanting him just as much as he wants you. He's a little sweaty already, and the sheetsbare tangled badly at this point from all your squirming, arousal already staining some parts of them but right now he really can't bring himself to care.

He uses one of his hands to aid him in finding your entrance, positioning himself to carefully push himself inside, and at this point, he just feels as if he truly became one with you. It's the last key experience in a way he's had to have with you, and now that he's in exactly that moment, things start to feel real.

"I love you." He almost whispers into your neck while he starts to move. "I'm.. so grateful you're here." He tells you, hips moving at a steady pace. "I want you to.. stay forever." He almost asks, in a way, and while you can't give him an answer to that right now, you probably will later.

After you're back with the normal thinking human beings, because right now, with his pace and strength gaining as he chases his high, your head is definitely unable to form thoughts.

In a way, he loves the sight of you like this. It's awfully sinful, a sight only he wants to ever be able to see, no one else.

He can't control his own noises at this point, uncaring of his groans of pleasure as he chases after his peak, noticing you growing antsy as well, visibly eager to cum as well. And he will make sure you'll get your attention as well- he'd never let you down, ever.

And with his hand reaching in between you both to find where he needs to be, you're gone and out; head thrown back into the pillows while he pushes himself in deep, condom filling with his seed while he slows down into almost no movement at all.

Catching his breath, he leans down to you to kiss you once more, ticking of his clock on the bedside table coming back into the background noise, as well as the cars outside from the opened window, and your breathing underneath him. His senses return one by one as he pulls himself out, moving to get rid of the condom and start the shower.

"Come on." He asks, tapping your thigh, but you just whine all grumpy at him. "Noo get up, get up- the bed's all messy and we're too.!" He laughs, all energized from his own afterglow, while you seem to be the exact opposite, having to be physically pulled into a sitting position by your wrists. Jungkook himself can't help but simply laugh, before he takes matters into his own hands, lifting you up over his shoulder-

And of course, landing a loud smack onto your butt for good measure.

[digitulworld]

DHMIS teachers answers if you asked them the interview questions

Where do you live?

Sketchbook: In the dark, sometimes.

Tony: Midwest.

Shrignold: Far away from you.

Colin: Indoors, outdoors, sideways, vertical, and horizontal.

Spinach Can: Ping-pong galleria with my friend Schmuck.

Steak Guy: In your house!

Lamp: A magic barn.

What do you like to eat?

Sketchbook: I’m on a liquid diet.

Tony: It’s in the attic somewhere.

Shrignold: Something very warm.

Colin: Extra large cereal.

Spinach Can: Cardboard

Steak Guy: I can’t believe you would ask me that.

Lamp: Pink bones, red fibers, and a spinning wheel.

What is your favorite color?

Sketchbook: Green. Is this a trick question? It’s green.

Tony: Tan.

Shrignold: Lots and lots of purple.

Colin: The one with five letters.

Spinach Can: What color is grass?

Steak Guy: Grey horses.

Lamp: You're being too silly right now, you have to stop.

Do you like cows or goats?

Sketchbook: Anything yellow.

Tony: It doesn't matter to me. Nothing matters to me.

Shrignold: A baby sheep, is that like a goat?

Colin: Lizards.

Spinach Can: I made a cow mad once, and then got Cow Mad Syndrome.

Steak Guy: Big ones. Just the big ones.

Lamp: It jumps over the moon!

Do you have brown hair?

Sketchbook: Only on Tuesdays.

Tony: Are you stupid?

Shrignold: Lime green, like my mothers.

Colin: I asked you first!

Spinach Can: You should stop asking me that, I'll give it back later.

Steak Guy: It just gets stuck like this sometimes.

Lamp: Yesterday I saw a dog, but it was an evil dog. Don't ask me how I know.

What is your blood type?

Sketchbook: I had to glue some on myself so they'd stop bothering me.

Tony: Just a big clump.

Shrignold: I don't know, they all look the same.

Colin: I can't remember what it looks like! It’s very shy.

Spinach Can: What the *beep* is blood?

Steak Guy: Blood? Is that what they call it nowadays?

Lamp: Theres worms in me.

What are you allergic to?

Sketchbook: Having a nose.

Tony: It changes every day, and has been for the past 977 days.

Shrignold: Absolutely positively everything.

Colin: Fish paste.

Spinach Can: Eggshells, all of them. They pushed me down the stairs once.

Steak Guy: I don't need one!

Lamp: The Boogeyman. We’re on bad terms.

Whats your favorite idea?

Sketchbook: Anything but this question.

Tony: The giant bird that appears in my dreams sometimes.

Shrignold: My favorite pair of shoes.

Colin: My idea website. It generates ideas, like fun ways to hold a spoon.

Spinach Can: Hammers! Lots of hammers! And a nickel!

Steak Guy: Throwing my keys into a hole.

Lamp: TV shows about Alaska.

What do you find exciting?

Sketchbook: Big balloons, the alphabet, kites, gas planets, carpentry, a sock. The rest is personal.

Tony: Basements with creaky stairs.

Shrignold: Moths in small amounts.

Colin: Every 14th day of the month.

Spinach Can: A really really really small traffic cone, that tells you when you're going to die.

Steak Guy: Mold.

Lamp: Four trampolines.

What happened after the olden days?

Sketchbook: TVs started using colors, and now people are ungrateful.

Tony: I’m not playing your little game.

Shrignold: Everyone got sad, so I had to help them.

Colin: There were three wars, four explosions, and two train crashes, all in 1958.

Spinach Can: The world got mucky and ate dirt and beans.

Steak Guy: A rude mouse flipped the bird at me.

Lamp: They had bigger and bigger dreams, and then everyone got so big, they had to stop eating foods that made them dream big. The moral of this story is that you should wash your hands twice a day.

What are you scared of?

Sketchbook: Medium-sized rodents.

Tony: 7:00pm.

Shrignold: Whatever you're scared of.

Colin: A pound of sand.

Spinach Can: Mud crunching.

Steak Guy: Holes in pudding.

Lamp: The big night sky we’ll all get lost in one day.

What are your hobbies?

Sketchbook: Throwing vegetables at paintings, you should try it one day.

Tony: Watching people blink.

Shrignold: I sew clothes for my friends, but their first question is always, “How do you know my exact measurements? I never told you them.” You just can’t please everyone.

Colin: Data analyzation, accounting, coding, excessive security measurements.

Spinach Can: It’s beach ball related, if you know what I mean.

Steak Guy: Meat hobbies.

Lamp: Finding used cigarettes on the ground and taping them together to make a big cigarette, I call it The Ultimate.

What is your favorite song?

Sketchbook: Banging plastic together, if thats a song.

Tony: The Screaming Album, 1938.

Shrignold: I made all of them up.

Colin: Trapezoid Angles by Super Henry 3

Spinach Can: Four of them and they’re bad.

Steak Guy: Just noises?

Lamp: Mr. Bungle

Where do you go on holiday?

Sketchbook: My imaginary imagination place.

Tony: I just walk around.

Colin: If I leave my house, I die instantly.

Shrignold: Every day is a holiday if you know what you're doing.

Spinach Can: Mister Loopy’s Pizza Restaurant that I keep getting kicked out of.

Steak Guy: Where all the pigs are.

Lamp: Nightmare Land.

Who do you love?

Sketchbook: The letter B

Tony: Boys? Girls?

Shrignold: Please don't.

Colin: My toothpaste bottle cap.

Spinach Can: Cheese thrown against the window.

Steak Guy: Finger soup! Teeth! Orphans!

Lamp: The giraffe I met once, that I went on adventures with.

What is love?

Sketchbook: Anything that smiles.

Tony: Something not very important.

Shrignold: Do you want me to tell you? I’m a little busy.

Colin: One of the twelve main Brain Viruses.

Spinach Can: Endless sink drains.

Steak Guy: A string of hair. A lot of hair.

Lamp: It grows two legs, and then one day it’ll kill you.

What do you dream of?

Sketchbook: Pools and pools of blood tubes.

Tony: It all became a blur to me, I had to stop before I went mad.

Shrignold: So many little squirrels eating me.

Colin: Untied shoelaces.

Spinach Can: Peanuts, but they keep spelling their name wrong.

Steak Guy: Markets that only sell one type of vinegar oil.

Lamp: I can’t dream, I have a condition.

[thot-farm]

Domestic yandere Todoroki family part two

So, last post you may have been thinking 'only one of them shows any yandere tendencies, where is the spice?' The 𝓼𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓮 isn't here either, you get to spend time with Rei and you are going to like it 😠🫵.

Small notes:

I am a character ai goon that cheated or skipped all creative writing assignments in school, so if this is dog shit, it is what it is. This might actually be the first post I actually post that features my writing in detail.

I accidentally wrote with she/her and didn't even realize it, but I'm just going to leave it because it's smoother to read than y/n every other word, so if you want me to edit this for he/him or they/them, comment and I will with a separate tag

♡

You wake up in the morning to a cold feeling on your forehead. As you slowly wake up, you are a bit uncomfortable by the cold feeling and open your eyes to see a blurry pale arm and whiffs of citrus, vanilla and amber, Mom's perfume, impossible for you not to recognize. You get a little scared by the change since she hasn't woken you up in ages, you got used to Fuyumi's gentle voice, or Shoto pulling you out of bed with zero struggle like you are made of stuffing. You wonder if you did something wrong yesterday.

"Sh, sh, darling." Mom shushes gently, her hands trail down to your plump cheeks and rest there, her thumbs gently caressing your face, trying to calm you and your worries.

You try to blink away the sleep and fuzziness in your sight. You go to rub your eyes but Mom gently but swiftly takes hold of your little hands and brings them back down by your tummy.

"Sweetheart, Shoto caught a pretty nasty cold, so he won't be able to go to school..." Mom says with her gentle voice as she holds your hands.

Mom smiles as she watches the gears turn in your sleepy little head as you wonder how Shoto got sick, she lets go of your hands, her hands dip out of your view. "It looks like you haven't been bit by the sickie bug yet... Oh no baby... I think I see a bug in your bed." Mom says, her soft voice laced with concern.

You feel a tingling tickling sensation scurrying up your leg, which causes you to shoot out of your bed, kicking away blankets. Mom scoops you right up into her lap. "Don't worry darling," She holds up her hand that's curled into a loose fist "Mama caught the sickie bug, now it can't bite you," Mom says softly.

A small burst of frost comes from Mom's hand, your eyes widen with amazement as Mom kills the totally real bug, saving you from a bad cold and getting revenge on the evil bug that bit Shoto, like she always does when a sibling is sick.

Mom opens her hand, all that is left of the bug is a pile of snow. "Now that there is nothing left of the bug, help Mama blow all the snow away and wish for Shoto to get better," Mom says softly.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath and blow, wishing for Shoto's cold to go away. Once you open your eyes, you see snow flurries and sparkles flying away, you watch with amazement, seeing the flurries Dad never lets you go out and see.

You see red out of the corner of your eye, you look over to your doorway seeing Dad approaching your door. You wonder why Shoto being sick has gotten either of your parents' attention, you would think it would get you less like usual. You fiddle your thumbs together as turquoise eyes look over you.

"Rei, get her ready for school," Dad says, his voice deep, almost unrecognizable to you from how little you hear it. But you smell the same cologne as always, the one that wafts around every morning.

"But-" Mom begins, quickly cut off by Dad speaking again.

"You made a good point about Shoto and y/n needing to be away from each other more. He has been asking about her all morning and is refusing to eat without her, and if her teachers aren't exaggerating about her refusal to speak, then something must be done." Dad says in a serious tone, his eyes narrowed, but not at you or Mom. He doesn't wait any longer and just walks away from your door.

Dad's words leave you wondering what they had been talking about. But hearing Dad acknowledge how overbearing Shoto is makes you feel a lot of things, glad it's not just in your head, upset at Dad for not understanding you, but also worried about how Dad will 'fix' the problem with Shoto's behavior.

Mom stands up and carries you over to your chair and plops you down, facing you away from the mirror. You can tell she doesn't seem to trust Dad that much, but you don't understand why, he said she was right and all, that usually makes people happy or at least calm. But Mom makes the same face Shoto does around the time Dad comes home and she is gripping the hairbrush unnecessarily tight.

Mom, despite her tight grip, gently brushes your long white hair from the ends to your roots to straighten out what sleeping had done to your soft curls. Every time you try to move your head to look at her, she gently rests her other hand on your hand until you stop moving.

"Have you been brushing your hair every day, honey?" Mom asks in a soft tone, looking down into your grey eyes.

You nod confidently. You smile at how Fuyumi always helps brush through and style your hair in the morning. And internally you roll your eyes at how Shoto always winds up touching your hair at bedtime when you and him brush teeth, so you always wind up brushing your hair at night to make sure his icky boy cooties don't knot up your hair.

Mom gives a small smile when she sees your nod and smile, but you can tell she seems a little sad or something. You look up at her with a serious look.

Mom's smile gets wider seeing your baby face get serious. She leans down and kisses your head. "Don't worry, darling. I just want to make sure you're being a good girl. Now go brush your teeth." Mom says in a sweet tone, smiling softly.

You stand up from your chair and walk out of your room, as you walk to the bathroom across the hall, you brush some hair off your nightgown, trying not to wonder too much into Mom's behavior

Part three

[moonlightblueandicegrey]

Hot chocolate

Summary: Nothing special, just Jay and Kai telling Lloyd that they see him as their son. (Plasma shipping included)

Warnings: none

Writer's note: this is something small that i wrote while i was in school. Please, forgive my mistakes.

............................................................................

After all those years of pretending to be "just friends", Kai and Jay finally accepted and confessed their real feelings for each other. This cute couple got married a few months ago. Thankfully, they had their honeymoon little trip in peace: no attacks, no battles, no bad guys. Just a married couple having fun in their honeymoon and loving each other.

After returning to the monastery, Jay decided to rent Cliff's mansion. With the money he already had from his biological father and with the money he earned from renting the mansion, he built another house. Of course he and Kai had their own room in the monastery but they wanted another place just for the two of them. They wanted a house where they would be completely alone so that they could just relax, get away from the rest of the world and do their couple stuff in peace. This small and comfortable house became their secret little place to spend time alone without interruptions.

The house had an amazing view and Lloyd (the only one who knew it's location), really liked visiting Kai and Jay just to admire the lake and the forest. Last night, he came to visit them once again. Lloyd's mind was full of so many things and his thoughts were troubled. He needed someone to talk to and who's better than his older brothers? When he arrived with tears in his eyes, Kai and Jay immediately took him in their arms. They gave him comfort (just like they used to do when younger Lloyd was scared of lightning), they made dinner for him and they allowed him to sleep in their guest room. It was mostly Lloyd's room anyway, because the green ninja was the only visitor since no one else knew the house's location.

Lloyd woke up too early the next day. It was still dark outside but he couldn't sleep anymore so he went in the balcony to let the majestic view give peace in his soul. Jay is usually a heavy sleeper and he doesn't wake up until late in the morning. This time though he woke up a few minutes after Lloyd. He somehow felt that the kid was awake already. He found the blond guy in the balcony, he went closer to him and he took a lock of hair behind Lloyd's ear as he spoke:

"What's troubling your thoughts again, dear?"

Jay always called Lloyd "dear" since he was a child. He still saw him as a little kid although he wasn't a baby anymore.

"Nothing" Lloyd lied.

"Okay, i won't push you but I'm here if you want to tell me something more than what you said yesterday. And so is Kai. We are here for you dear"

Lloyd couldn't resist, he just fell right on Jay's arms. Jay didn't hesitate at all to hug him back (he is a little shorter than Lloyd so he had to stretch a little to be able to hug him comfortably)

"Come here, I've got you"

"Thanks"

The kid was holding back tears at this point. He would have let himself cry if Kai hadn't join them, taking both of them in his own arms.

"What are my boys doing here, in the cold?"

"Lloyd is a little... Off again" Jay answered.

"Don't worry about it, it's nothing important. I must be a little affected from our talk yesterday, that's all"

Lloyd felt the need to lie in order to prevent his friends from worrying about him too much. He just wanted to protect them but the couple knew him too well to fall for it. They kinda raised him after all.

"Everything's important to us when it comes to you"

Kai kissed Lloyd's forehead and the blond guy laughed while he was trying to hide his embarrassment.

"Ew, Kai! Kiss your husband, not me!"

"I can kiss you both" he said and he surprised Jay with a smooch on the lips.

"Kai!" Jay laughs too.

"Ew! That's gross!" said the youngest.

"Why? Can't i show love to my family? It's my son and my husband that I'm holding in my arms right now, after all"

"Wait- You said... S-son?" Lloyd had to admit that he was shocked.

"Yes dear. You are like our son now. We might not be your biological parents but it doesn't matter. We love you and we care about you. So, yeah, you are adopted now, that's it"

"Jay is right. You are our son, we are your dads. That's how it is. Accept it"

The youngest boy couldn't be happier as he hugged both of his dads as tight as he could.

"By the way..." Kai said.

"I made hot chocolate for both of you so... You better drink it before it gets cold"

[sarroora]

Good morning!!

It's my birthday!! 🥳

Got any spare headcanons for me to consume?

WHAAA we’re like 2 weeks apart!!

🎊 🎂 💃🏽 ✨ HAPPY BIRTHDAY! ✨ 🎊 🎂 💃🏽 Have a good one!

Sorry I’m like a whole day late responding but I could barely check in at all yesterday and today asfhjkl

SO ~

-Even though he’s used to it, sometimes Dibble can’t help but skip a heartbeat whenever one of the cats hops off a long way up. He knows they can stick the landing just fine, he knows they like pulling this over his head because he’s a human and can’t keep up with even 10% of their acrobatics but it’s still a little scary when T.C does crazy shit like jump off the equivalent of 3-5 stories at a construction site onto a metal beam that’s barely a foot in width without breaking a sweat - Fancy walks along telephone poles to get to a girl’s window - Brain just free falls from ledges with nothing but a flimsy rope, etc. They’re all nimble, but he can’t help but be scared watching that

-Ever since Patrick moved into their neighborhood, he always has a couple ‘over-ordered pizzas no one wanted’ put away just for the cats when it’s any of their birthdays

-T.C isn’t a fan of dogs, but it doesn’t mean he’ll just watch some hungry, homeless mutt eat something left out that he knows is sinister. It’s one of the subtle responsibilities he does around the alley - he sniffs any food left out, and immediately removes anything he thinks is poisoned or tampered with. Some people are just sick

-The short stint when they had baby Charlie? They couldn’t get enough of sniffing the baby’s head. Human babies smell so good it’s ridiculous. Too bad the adults smell gross tho

-Like most alley cats, it’s not out if the ordinary for the gang to sometimes sleep in until noon (much to Dibble’s exasperation), and by night they’re wide awake and very mischievous

-Benny had asked the gang a couple times to help him lose weight by not yielding to him so easily whenever he cracks and reaches over for food. Everyone tried - man did they try - but Benny’s kicked kitten face is so brutal no one can hold the food away from him for more than a couple hours. The fastest to give in, funnily enough? T.C.

-Fancy’s fur happens to be the most water-resistant of the gang, and he’s a pretty good swimmer. His coat always looks awesome when he shakes off the water and it makes the girls swoon

[mooodyblue]

Hi Hi!! Before I ask my request I just wanted to tell you that I absolutely love your stories and post!! Whenever I see that you posted I always jump to see what it is!! Keep up the good work!! ♡

Now, my request might be a little weird. I was thinking maybe it could be CgElvis x littleReader, and basically, the reader is supposed to be sleeping but has a nightmare. Reader immediately runs to find Elvis, Elvis is with is Mafia gang, and he tells them all to leave so he can take care of the reader and help them go to sleep!! Sorry if it's long- and the reader can be gender neutral!!

ahh ty!! sorry this took me so long!! hope you enjoy 🫶🏼

wc: 519

your night time routine when you were little was simple. washing up, pajamas on, and then you devour an entire bottle while he reads to you in his lap. simple as that.

he’d put you down a teeny bit earlier since his friends were coming over that night for a few rounds of pool, needing a little pick me up after dealing with his everyday stresses as elvis presley. he gave you a final good night kiss and went on his way, shutting the door behind him to let you sleep in peace.

unfortunately, that peace didn't last very long.

elvis was in the midst of their first game, poking jerry with the pool cue before positioning himself to shoot his shot.

meanwhile, you woke up in a jolt—plushie tightly clutched to your chest as your eyes were filled to the brim with tears. all you wanted was to be held and comforted by your daddy and nothing more.

elvis hears the quick footsteps down the hall and stands up straight, taking in the scared and sad expression on your face as you walked into the room clutching your favorite plushie. he didn't even need to ask you any questions.

“let’s wrap it up guys.” elvis quickly said.

there was a groan from billy, “but we just got here……”

“i don't care if ya got here yesterday, last tuesday or last year—all of ya, outta my house.” elvis said sternly, pointing his pool cue at the door as they all stumbled out, looking at you and grumbling to themselves.

elvis put down the cue and crouched down. “c’mere, baby.” he cooed, opening his arms wide.

you burst into tears as you walked up to him, his arms pulling you in and holding you tightly. “what's going on, baby? hm?”

“b-bad dream.” you stuttered out, wiping the tears from your eyes with the back of your hand.

“oh, my poor baby.” he frowned, pressing his lips against your forehead. “you wanna tell daddy what happened?”

you brought up your plushie to your face, hiding behind the plush fur. “you…you went bye bye…’n t-there was a big monster…’n….you-”

elvis stopped you from speaking anymore, not wanting you to think about it too much. “alright, alright. that's alright, hon. let's get you a bottle.” he sat up straight, taking your small hand in his as you both walked down the steps. “you wanna sleep in daddy’s bed tonight?”

you stood there, back against the counter as he prepared your bottle. “really?” you gasped, your eyes lighting up.

“sure, baby. that way you know daddy’s gonna be by your side the whole time.” he brought you back up to his bedroom, bringing you close in bed as you rested your head on his shoulder. he brought the bottle up to your lips as you sucked away, enjoying the warm milk as it calmed your nerves.

his hand caressed your shoulder gently, humming softly to bring you a bit of comfort. “ain't no monster or bad guy is gonna come and bother us, little one. daddy’s gonna be right here. he’ll protect ya.”

[mephinomaly]

[TL] PYSCHOBREAK/Chapter 12

[ This post uses Ois~su ♪ ]

Time: The next day, the day of live Flashback

Location: In a livehouse near Yumenosaki

Koga: ♪〜♪〜♪

(For fuck’s sake! I’ve been tricked…!)

(What happened t’Sakuma-senpai? Yesterday he was actin’ all cool and said he’d “do his best tomorrow”!?)

(And now he’s not even here!)

(The show’s started at the exact time we said it would! And we’re gonna have to perform without him!)

Adonis: ...

Kaoru: ...

Koga: (Gahhh? Adonis can’t help it- even though he looks strong he’s actually a quiet guy!)

(Think he’s got overwhelmed since it’s his first live ‘n his mind’s gone blank!)

(But Hakaze-senpai, that shallow playboy! He’s suppose t’be our senpai yet he’s got all flustered ‘n is actin’ like a total beginner!?)

(What happened to “I’m a reliable guy”?! Fuckin’ liar!)

(This is bad, we all fuckin’ suck! UNDEAD is the worst band ever!)

(Gah, what was I thinkin’!? ‘Course a band that hasn’t practised enough, hasn’t got enough of anythin’ ain’t just gonna get on stage ‘n blow everyone away!?)

(So this was obviously gonna happen. This isn’t a cartoon, no miracle is gonna suddenly save us~!)

(Fuck, shit, this is so embarrasin’!)

(If I could have the same talent Sakuma-senpai had, this wouldn’t be goin’ t’shit. Obviously this is my fault for bein’ weak ‘n immature!)

(I don’t wanna smear Sakuma-senpai’s amazin’ reputation!)

(That’s why I hate this! Someone’s gotta do somethin’! I’ve got to do somethin’...!)

Kaoru: Calm down~, Wan-chan. Relax, relaxxx ♪

Koga: HaaH!? I-i-if you’re so fuckin’ calm that means you ain’t got a fuckin’ clue what’s goin’ on!?

Kaoru: Nothing’s going to change if you panic, okay?

I’m sorry. I’m a poor excuse for a senpai… As you can probably tell, this is my first time on stage, so.

As I thought, actually being on stage is much different than watching from the sidelines.

I can’t breathe properly. The lights are too bright and too hot. I’m sweating and I feel gross. I can’t concentrate because my brain keeps thinking about random, irrelevant things.

It feels like my heart’s going haywire, and that my blood isn't circulating properly.

If I don’t hold out, I might break down… It’s scary, performing like this.

On stage too. I’m only now realising this.

Adonis: Me too… I’m sorry Oogami, I’m feeling really nervous right now.

A long time ago, I used to dance with my mother. She was a singer.

I had her by my side, I knew I could rely on her. I was young, innocent, and unafraid.

I was able to perform without deliberating about it, as if it was second nature. Maybe that was because I had my mother guiding me.

She made me shine. But now, she’s not here with me. My guiding light is not here.

I have to shine on my own.

My anxiety is through the roof, and I’m scared… I feel like a child lost in the dark.

Koga: I see. Can’t I be your guidin’ light?

Nevermind. Without Sakuma-senpai here… I can’t do anythin’.

Adonis: As for Sakuma-senpai… I noticed a moment ago, but isn’t he down there?

Koga: Huh?

Adonis: After talking to you two, I felt calmer and was able to properly take a look at my surroundings… Look, he’s in the audience waving a penlight around.

Rei: Kyah~☆

UNDEAD~♪ Fight, fight, do your best~♪

Koga: I thought he wasn’t gonna show, the hell’s he doin’ down there!?

Adonis: I’m not sure but now I feel strangely satisfied.

Kaoru: S-Sneaky Sakuma-san! You’re a part of UNDEAD, so get up here!

Rei: Ahaha. Yeah yeah. Didn’t expect you of all people to say that, Hakaze-kun. You seemed the most demotivated, and the one with no sense of family.

Kaoru: Okay whatever! Hurry up! If you don’t perform properly you won’t be able to afford to pay back the retaining fee!

Rei: Jeez, alright~. Guess there’s nothin’ I can do then, huh, Nobita-kun…[1] Without your mama here you get all anxious ‘n start cryin’ dontcha. Little baby ♪

Kaoru: …You probably don’t even know this, but that’s a sensitive topic for me, okay?

Don't treat me like I'm stupid.

—And I’m not a weak cry baby anymore.

♪〜♪〜♪

[ ☆ ]

nobita-kun is a doraemon character. He's depicted as lazy, doesn’t like thinking critically, acts childishly, and is pretty dense. Despite this, sometimes he has some redeeming qualities, like being kind and risking his life to save others. It's also implied that his poor grades are not because he’s stupid, but because he’s lazy

Chapter 11

Chapter 13

[romanestuffsposts]

I really need, if it’s not too much trouble, a nice day at home with daddy and papa 🥺❤️

Hi there love! 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you like ho i turned it ❤️

Enjoy <3

****

Warnings : fluff, comfort, cuddles, playful, teasing, fun, games, snuggles, kisses, pet names

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : ⤴️⤴️

****

You didn’t slept well last night, not because of the light, not because of noises from the outside world or because of a nightmare but because you weren’t comfortable. It’s weird because your bed is one of the most comfortable bed in the whole entire world but something was missing, someone was missing. More precisely, two persons was missing.

They got home late yesterday night so you had to go to bed alone and the babysitter putted you in your own bed instead of theirs so you were alone all night. You were too tired to notice it was your room but when you woke up in the middle of the night, you saw you were in your own bed, alone. You didn't wanted to woke them up so you stayed in bed like a good girl

That's why you're asleep on the couch right now, you started a movie with your daddies but you couldn't stop your heavy eyes to close so you just let it be. Your daddies aren't the one who'll woke you up because they know how tired you are. That's why, when the movie stopped, they put another one on their own taste, they don't talk out loud and they don't move too quickly around you so you'll stay fast asleep.

Suddenly, you flinch hard and your eyes shut open, your eyes are wide open in shock as you look in front of you. Your daddies’s head turn to you and they notice the few tears who are about to escape from your eyes. Your Papa immediately takes you on his laps, your back against his chest and your butt in between his legs as he rocks your from side to side, a hand on your hair and the other on your belly stroking it slowly "you're okay baby. Everything is okay" he whispers

Your Daddy takes your feet on his laps and stroke them as he turns around to face you. "it was just in the movie, sweetie. There's no one who screamed and nothing bad is happening here. It was just in the tv" he adds to reassures you. You whine and look down at your fingers who are playing with each others. Your Papa wipes away your tears and kisses your temple "we're sorry it wokes you up like this, little one" Your Daddy says, tilting his head as he looks at you with concern in his eyes.

"Is oki" you whisper after sniffing a few times "'m big gil" you add lifting your head to face your Daddy who smile at you "you sure are, the best good girl ever" he says kissing your toes. You giggle as they cover you with kisses

"We need to get rid of that sad face" your Daddy says as he jumps across the couch, his hands grab your waist and he stands up, lifting you up at the same time. You gasp and wrap your hands around his wrist, not knowing what's happening. Of course your Daddy would never hurt you on purpose but the sudden movement still got you by surprise.

He puts your lower belly on his shoulder, your head facing his back and your feet his front. He intertwines his fingers through yours and start turning around. You squeal when he makes an airplane noise as he turns on himself.

The moment lasts a few seconds before he throws your back on the couch making you giggling even more "Atain! Atain! Atain" you squeal jumping on your knees. Your Daddy smirks at your Papa who looks at him the same way. You still watch your Daddy, thinking it would be him who'll make another move but you gasp one more time in surprise when two hands from beside you grab you.

Your Papa turns you around and sits you on his shoulder, your legs on the same side. You hold tight his hands because you're scared to fall even if, just like your Daddy, he won't ever let you fall. He starts to turn around too and makes you laugh with weird noises. Your Papa turns around for a while but stops before you start to get sick. Your Daddy takes over and lifts you up by your under arms. Your hands are on his shoulders and you look down at him.

You blush when you see him smile at you making him chuckle. He lowers you and rests you on his hip, he wraps your legs around his waist and you wrap your arms around his neck "do you feel better, our sweet and beautiful babygirl ?" he teases, grinning down at you.

You blush and hide your face in his neck, nodding your head. Your daddies chuckle and you feel your Papa's hands on your feet "what do you want to do, sweetness ?" he asks stroking your feet "you want to go take a nap with su ? Or do you want to do something else ?" he adds trying to peer at your hiding face.

You nod and he chuckles "why do you nod, sweetie ? do go take a nap ?" he asks but you shake your head who's still in your Daddy's neck. "What do you want to do then ? he chuckles. You lift your head a little so it's just your eyes who's seen, your eyes meet his and he tilts his head "pway" you mumble, your mouth against your Dady's shoulder.

he nods "alright, we go play in your playroom but you go to bed earlier tonight because you're really tired. Are you okay with that ? Or do you want to change your mind ?" he asks to be sure you're taking the good decision who won't make you grumpy tonight because you have to go to bed earlier than another night

You shake your head "wanna pway" you say lifting your head completly "alright then," he gestures toward the staires "go one, we're behind you" he finishes. Your Daddy puts you down on the ground and watch you running upstaires

"I guess we'll have a busy afternoon" Bucky chuckles, following Steve as they walk up the saires "I wanted her to take a nap wo we could've sleep too" Steve jokes making Bucky snorts "I knew it"

[havin-fun-imagining-twd]

Redemption Arcs

What -- Nobody is past hope and everyone deserves a redemption arc. You finally talk with big brother Shane following you catching his flirting with unreceptive, scared Lori.

When -- in between season 2 episodes Chupacabra and Secrets. In the Slowpoke Series, after Thank you, angel

Relationships -- You and Daryl are the canon compliant slow burners of the series. In this chapter, Shane gets vulnerable.

Perspective -- 2nd person

Pronouns -- n/a

TWs -- some language

Word count - under 5,000

Masterlist -- Shiny and Official one here and Chronological one here

What small but good news do you have? -- been wanting that maturity label off Invisible, tugging strings Part 2 since April, and it was finally successfully removed without glitching back again! (took about 9 removals to stick)

If you are a new Slowpoke and haven't read any other stories in the series yet, I recommend reading He hasn't been himself before this one!

..........................................

Carol first takes another sip of tea, holding the mug by the base to heat up her fingers. “It sure got cold last night.”

She says this with one of her smiles she makes to try hiding her upset. It got very cold last night—and her Sophia didn’t even have long pants on when she was chased off.

This’ll be her fifth day lost, if she’s still alive.

Echoing Daryl’s insistent belief that she can be found alive, you voice the possibility that “With all the farmhouses in this area, she’d know to head up to a barn loft to keep warm.” A barn is probably where she’s been this whole time, you’re thinking. Provided there was nothing dead in one, that’s where you’d want to hide.

Carol reverts back to the original subject, finishing telling you, “But, um, to answer you, no, he stayed asleep the whole time I was there.” She’s blinking tears away. Maybe you shouldn’t have said anything about her daughter.

You’d woken up later than usual, on the Greene’s couch, after Beth and Maggie began coming downstairs. Following a flurry of good mornins during which you remembered where you were, you blindly stumbled in your blanket toward Daryl’s room, met Carol coming inside with a steaming mug of tea, and you intended to check with her how Daryl’d slept after she took over monitoring him last night.

As soon as you opened your mouth to ask—lo and behold, the man in question wobbled out of his room, wrapped in a blanket like you were and citing the need for a toilet.

You hadn’t been sure if he was okay walking without a chaperone, so you hooked your good arm under his and started to help him.

He got all grumpy at that, then told you how he remembered throwing up yesterday right after his first fall and wanted to know if it was bad.

Well, he got more grumpy after you asked him through the bathroom door to tell you if his boxers had blood in them or if there was any red or brown coming from the front, red or black coming from the back.

Really, you’d changed babies with diaper rash who complained less than that mangy hick did over a simple medical question. Lucky for you, Patricia overheard and took over.

Now you’re inwardly making fun of yourself over having felt so silly with those butterflies in your stomach last night when Daryl accidentally ca—

“—As she headed in there with him a few minutes ago, the first thing out of Patricia’s mouth was how minty the room smelled,” Carol softly giggles, taking another sip of her tea. “I think the smell is stuck in my nose.”

“Mine, too. I like it.”

When asked about the mint, all you’d told Carol was that you’d given some of the muscle rub and the peppermint oil to Daryl to help. You just didn’t specify that it was via…massage. You felt that detail might could’ve been misconstrued.

Especially given that poor dude was so out of it that: he accidentally called you ‘angel.’

It’s not deep. At most, Daryl was having a temporary bout of Florence Nightingale Syndrome, but the highest likelihood is that it was simply an injured person (him) being exhausted and loopy, therefore misattributing the giver of pain relief (you) to an angel.

You never thought you’d feel glad he went back to normal today, all grumpy and grating. It’s a relief that the butterflies in your stomach who plagued you yesterday are all gone now.

Carol calls your name and jiggles your wrist, and you blink. “Sorry, what?”

“Your brother’s coming over,” she repeats—and you’re already hightailing it.

See? Not angelic in the slightest, you can’t even face your own brother without wanting to cuss him out or shove him.

Kudos to you that when Shane calls your name and adds a, “G’morning,” with it, you respond neutrally with “Mornin’. Gonna grab my mp3, be right back.”

“You comin’ with us to the highway today, check for our girl?” Shane calls before you’re inside.

“You know it.”

“We leave in 10.”

“’Kay.”

He starts chatting with Carol as far as you can tell as you stride into the house. You suppose you have to get the music player, now, so you won’t be a liar like him. You know he's trying to get on your good side, what with his "our girl," stuff.

Knocking three times on the door to the room Daryl’s in, you await a response.

“Yeah, s’fine, come in,” he answers on the other side of it.

Opening the door, you’re met with the strong smell of mint and find Patricia still there with him, checking his pupils again as she greets, “Hi, sweetpea. I’d ask how you slept, but seein’ as you’re yawning and were still asleep on the couch 15 minutes ago…” She grins where she’s crouched in front of Daryl.

“Might will nap later,” you admit. “I’m just here for my music player.”

You just now recall that you’d meant to bring Daryl some of his stuff this morning. Toothbrush, pillow, PJ pants, that sort of thing.

Which means you’ll have to go back outside sooner, which means you’ll need to face your brother sooner.

You make a quick prayer for guidance, slip the mp3 into your pocket, and make for the door.

When you think you feel Daryl looking at you, you snap your eyes up in challenge.

He looks away so quick you nearly miss it. And the really nice nervous thrill that shivers through your belly is hopefully the last of the irrational butterflies. It’s one more thing to deal with, and toward Daryl of all people?

Mp3 in your pocket, you exit the house and begin to walk quickly toward Daryl’s tent. Your brother leaves Carol and follows at your pace despite his slight remaining limp.

He asks how you slept.

You shrug. “Could use more. You?”

“Better than I thought I would. Still up for target practice when we get back?”

“So long as I ain’t the target.”

His steps slow, and when he goes to speak, there’s hesitation. “Been talkin’ to Dale or was that one of your jokes?”

“I think it was a joke. What’s that about Mr. H?”

“Ain’t nothing, Y/N.” He stops walking altogether and puts his hands on his hips, moving his hand to muss his hair and instead meeting with the new buzzcut.

“What do you want, Shane?”

Your brother licks his teeth. “For you to just listen.”

Grimacing, you resume walking. “What do you possibly have to say to defend yourself?” you curse under your breath, even though you know you shouldn’t.

Continuing to follow you, he insults, “High and mighty today, are we?”

Your throat goes tight either from offense or because you’re so upset at what he did. Then, eyes growing moist, the anger turns to a type of sadness you can’t place. “I’m scrapin’ the bottom of the barrel here, Shaney, help me out.”

Your brother doesn’t say anything other than an apology until you two finish the walk to Daryl’s tent.

“Why we here, anyway?”

“Gettin’ Daryl his toothbrush and things,” you mumble.

It’s when you bend to unzip the door that he crouches and puts his hand on your arm. “Y/N. I meant what I said yesterday. The three people I care about most in this world are you, Lori, and Carl.”

Your turn to lick your teeth. “And Rick.” You unzip the door flap and look for Daryl’s stuff to bring him. His pillow isn’t very clean-looking.

Shane doesn’t seem to acknowledge what you said when he goes on, “And I’d do anythin’ to keep you three safe.”

“And Rick,” you say again, more pleading. “Please help me understand what’s going on with you and him.”

He starts looking not quite at you, then at anyplace else.

“Tell me the truth,” you warn. “You’re lookin’ all around the way you do before you lie.”

“Rick nearly got Carl killed and nearly got you killed. Because of that, nearly got me killed, too, if it weren’t for Otis. And Otis’ death is ultimately on his hands, too, not mine.”

After saying Otis’ name, he has to swallow and close his eyes. He probably won’t ever shake the guilt that Otis sacrificed himself so Shane could get the respirator back.

And now, opposed to seeing in your brother someone unfamiliar and scary, right now you see him clearly, and see that he’s broken in two.

You want to understand better, but you don’t yet. With only a light stress-stutter, you ask “Why are you saying Rick did all that?”

His nose twitches. “I’ve learned that Rick can’t make the tough decisions. Tough decisions save lives.”

“Tough decisions?”

“If we had gone to Fort Benning, instead of the—the CDC?” His anger bubbles up. “C’mon, Y/N, what the hell was he thinkin’? Going to a government building in a city the feds themselves napalmed, to the goddamn Centers for Disease Control,” he mocks, smiling in bitter disbelief. “A place what had mile-high security even before the world fell apart.” He rubs his head again as he coughs, “Y/N, he took the whole group, he took his family, his wife and child, into Atlanta? He knew what the city was like, yet he chose that, risked us all, instead of someplace we knew would be safe.”

You stare at the ground and don’t know if you’re supposed to say anything or not, so you don’t.

Shane sounds less angry, but more disgusted. Jealous, too. “Lori ain’t my wife, Carl ain’t my son, but I kept them alive for Rick, in Rick’s honor.” Then, he quiets. “And because we loved them. I love Lori and that boy so m…” he trails off, knowing he’s just been very honest. The hard lines on his face soften, and his posture sinks just enough for you to notice. “Then, this asshole waltzes back alive, takes ’em on back.”

He presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose and squeezes his eyes shut. “And now Jacqui, Sophia, and Otis; now three people are dead because of him and his choices. And look at you. After comin’ that close to getting shot as bad as Carl was, you’re out there breakin’ your body more and more every day on this goddamn wild goose chase for a dead little girl—you think I’m stupid enough to believe your stitches had to get ‘redone?’ I saw Carol washin’ your bloodstained shirts, Y/N, it—hell, and now, even Daryl almost died from this bullshit. All because of King Rick, his-his inability to—” He cuts off, finally exhales, then sinks his head in his hands and rests his elbows on his knees where he sits in the dirt across from you.

There’s an uneasy, sick feeling in your stomach, and your body feels weighed down.

“Please say somethin’, Y/N, anything.”

Unprepared, you stumble through, “I-I’m happy you, uh—it’s good you unbottled that.” You stare at the grass and wipe your eyes. “M’happy that you told me.”

“You’re happy I dumped all this shit on you?” he says in attempt to make light of something heavy.

You copy his attempt. “Better out than in.” After a few moments of silence, you then murmur, “I’m happy to share the weight, I love you.”

“Y/N.”

You raise your eyes to where he sits. He’s got the same lost look on his face you’ve seen a lot of in the past handful months after the world fell apart. Like that night at the CDC, when he’d broken down crying. When he’d escaped the hospital after trying to rescue Rick and thinking he’d died. When he’d come back with a respirator but without Otis.

“I know it’s wrong, blamin’ him.” He rubs the top of his head the way he does whenever he’s upset or thinking too much.

“That you know it’s wrong is a good thing.”

“I know I’m wrong,” he whispers. “But I don’t think it matters. Or that I care.”

“What do you mean?”

“If we wanna survive, we need to make hard choices.”

Your tone of voice bites. “Like Lori told you yesterday, it’s easy to cut losses and not help. Easiest damned thing, Shane, so that’s enough about ‘hard’ choices.”

He doesn’t snarl back. He barely reacts, in fact.

Voice gruff, he mutters, “I’ve slid, Y/N. Real far down. Done some awful things.”

“You can choose good ones next time,” you offer simply.

“Sometimes the good ones are awful things, if they mean savin’ lives.”

A twinge of dread roils in your belly. “Justifying wrongs make them worse.”

“You sound so damn naïve sometimes, kid.” He rolls his eyes before tucking his head between his knees. Yet, he next asks, “When does somebody get too far gone?”

“That limit doesn't really exist. Nobody’s past hope.”

You see his chest expand and deflate with controlled breaths. And you’re about to stand up and bring Daryl his things when he says in a low voice, “Y/N, tell me about the rope thing again. And the drowning thing, too?”

Your brow creases. He wants you to repeat those two scenarios?

“Okay,” you answer, even if uncertain why he suddenly wants to talk ethics.

First, you call to mind the details... “There are, um, people on a rope that’s hangin’ off a cliff. The rope is breaking and will break, and those clingin’ to the rope will all fall and likely die unless the person on the bottom drops off. Now, the person at the top of the rope or in the middle can’t drop off in the bottom person's place, ’cause that’ll knock off those below them anyway and lead to more death. And it ain’t fair, but for the person on the bottom, is it their moral obligation to let go. And it’s…” your throat goes tight again. You think you’re starting to understand why he asked you to tell him this.

Still, you go on: “It’s morally acceptable and, and even the duty of the person directly above the lowest person to get them off the rope in-in-in order to save lives—Shane, I don’t wanna finish.”

“The person above them can sever the rope, they can even kick the person off,” he says for you, but not in a prideful way. He’s quiet and somber, a thousand-yard stare in his eyes. To you, he says, “But this thing with Sophia, I ain’t saying Sophia was at the bottom.”

His demeanor lowers your defenses, and you finish the scenario. “Only because the rope will break and lead to more death unless the weight is lessened is why it's permissible for the bottom person to let go or even get pushed off, but only because the rope will break and this is known. What the other people or person above them on the rope cannot do is directly kill the person on the bottom in order to make them let go, even though the end result might will end up the same. To directly kill a person is not right and is always evil, even if the end result will be the same.” You try to remember the exact wording that you’d learned. “‘Direct killing is morally permissible only for cases of self-defense against a direct, real-time aggressor who is intendin’ to kill or grievously harm you or another.’”

Shane’s eyes are glassy, the lost, scared expression still clouding his face. “Repeat the drownin’ one, too? Please.”

He looks so sad.

“Two p-people are drowning, but one is, uh, climbin’ onto the other to keep their own head above water. The person being used as a life raft can and should fight off the person, because otherwise they will accidentally be drowned. What they can’t do is, y’know, like, shoot the other in the face or shove them into the jaws of a hungry shark.” Which was your inappropriate grasp at making light, ugh, that was in really bad form. “Sorry,” you apologize, then speak like a grown-up: “The person bein’ unwittingly drowned cannot hold the other guy underwater to drown them instead, even if it’s to get them to stop. ’Cause again, to directly kill is evil. Unless the other person is a direct aggressor because they want you dead or harmed bad, in which case it’s self-defense.”

He sniffs and takes a deep breath. Shane’s eyes don’t have that thousand-yard stare anymore, now they simply look pained.

“Y/N, I don’t feel like myself,” he admits under his breath. “I haven’t. Can hardly recognize myself sometimes, but it’s as if I…” He throws his hand up. “I know I’m wrong but still don’t think it’s wrong.”

“This about Rick, Sophia, or Lori?” you ask. "Or Otis?" pops into your mind and out of your mouth.

“All of it, I reckon, I-I don’t know, I can’t…” His hand cups his mouth and trails down to his chin. “What I want with Lori I know is wrong. Y/N, I keep tryin’ to convince myself she wants me, loves me. That I deserve them ’cause I’m better for her and him.”

The news about the new baby tears through your insides and scatters your thoughts. “She does love you, just not in that way. And that thing about ‘deserved,’ that’s gotta go, man,” you respond, not that it’s helpful.

Nodding, he grunts, “I know.”

“Not that that helps much,” you apologize. Shane used to go to your eldest sister for this kind of thing. They were closest with each other. But that line, that idea about ‘deserving’ them because he’s better for them…that’s bad, it’s very bad.

Then, from the campsite, you hear Andrea shout “Five minutes, Walshes!”

Neither of you speak as a warm breeze sweeps over the field and across the yard.

Your big brother looks to you as if he’s a small, scared kid.

“Y/N, what do I do?”

So, you tell him the most concrete advice you can think of. “You go check the highway. Do a quick sweep of your grid. Host target practice like you and Ricky have planned, teach me more fightin’ moves like you had planned.”

He’s nodding, lost in space. “What about tomorrow?”

You lift one corner of your mouth sadly. “Check the highway. Do a quick sweep of your grid. Target practice, chores, work out. Normal stuff. Take it one day at a time. Things’ll get better, or you’ll get stronger. Either way.”

Shane wipes his eyes and blinks away any trace of having gotten emotional. “This what you had to do all them times you wanted to die?”

A cold spreads from your middle. “Do you want to die, Shaney?”

“No. I don’t wanna die, hell no, I just—” he inhales, holds it, exhales. “I don’t know what’s goin’ on with me.” He massages his neck with one hand. “Y/N, it feels like I’m either another person or I’m going batshit.”

That he’s suffering isn’t good, but hearing him say that is, because it means that he sees the problem, too.

“I’d be more concerned if you didn’t think there was somethin’ off.” You swallow and make yourself say, “I trust you.”

Now he’s shaking his head. “I don’t even trust myself right now.”

“That’s why you have me, loser.”

Shane smiles a little when you tell him that. Next, he stands, and appears to lose himself in thought again as picks up what you grabbed from Daryl’s tent. Then he freezes.

He puts the things back down, and sits again. “Y/N, I may have to go for a little while.”

“Where, a fuel run?”

He clasps the back of his head. “Away.”

Away? “Where’s away?”

“Away. For just a while.”

Away as in…leaving?

“Because of this Lori thing? Shane, there’s—”

“—It’s…more complicated than that—” he interrupts, but you interrupt right back, “—B-Because of Rick, then? What?”

“Kettle off the burner, Y/N.”

You hold in what you were going to say and count to five.

It doesn’t do the trick. “Man the hell up and get it out of your system.We can’t leave them!”

“Not ‘we,’ me. I can. It’s just for a little while, honey.”

Now he’s calling you ‘honey?’ He only does that when it’s serious.

You try to smile and play it off as if he’s just confused and needs encouragement. “Don’t act so dramatic, loser,” you tease. “We don’t have to go. Things aren’t good in some ways right now, but th-they will get better.”

“Not ‘we’, ‘I’. I think I do. I’m serious, kid.”

“Well, I, if-if you go—Shane, come on, I can’t let you go without me.”

“You can.”

“Shane. Stop, I don’t like this.”

He doesn’t stop. “If the person on the bottom has get cut off or drop off so the rest won’t fall—”

“—That is not what that means and you know it!” you push back. What is going on?

He appears to check himself. “I’m sorry, I—” He holds up a hand. “Y/N, I think me leavin’ awhile is what needs to be done. Lori does, too—no, don’t say anythin’ else about it, we won’t get nowhere.”

“You don’t need to cut yourself off. We don’t need to cut you off. That, that scenario was for a literal life or death situation, not whatever’s goin’ on here.” It’s like you can’t inhale enough.

“Y/N, I’m sorry, you’re right,” he soothes. “But I do need to leave—”

“—No, if you get ‘cut off’ or, or jump or whatever, I’m jumping down with you. You get that, right?” you almost shout.

He shakes his head as if he pities you. “This is why I didn’t tell you before.”

“You’re fixing to blame me for my reaction to my brother deciding to cut himself off from his family and risk his neck, goin’ off alone,” you pause to inhale, “because of a bad breakup, when now dead people walk and eat the living?”

Catching your breath, you watch as your words hit home.

Briefly, he covers his eyes in what looks like shame, he winces, then makes a quiet apology and says, “I’ll give it time. Ain’t like I was planning to leave tomorrow.”

Your shoulders slump. “How long you been considerin’ this?”

The way he opens his mouth and closes it without speaking is the first warning. The second is how he begins by softly calling you,“honey,” again.

“I was plannin’ to leave…over a week ago. Been planning it awhile,” he confesses.

The words sink in while you sit and blink.

It’s the next thing he says that feels like a sucker punch.

“It got cancelled when Carl got shot, but now I think I gotta…anyway, Lori knew. Dale knew, too. Andrea.”

Noises turn fuzzy and your brain grows quiet. You exhale the breath you forgot about and cover your face with your hands. They all knew? Lori knew?

You regain yourself when your brother goes, “Honey, I’m sorry.”

“Shaney, you ain’t serious.” Not one of them mentioned this to you. Did they not care?

“I don’t think they knew you were in the dark about it,” Shane assures you as if he could read your thoughts. “What’s more is I don’t reckon they thought you’d come with.They wouldn’t want you to go.”

You force yourself to exhale again, you keep forgetting to breathe.

“I’m sorry.”

“I forg—no, this is too much, this is so much,” you finally burst into tears. “I’ll forgive you, but I-I need a few hours.” Inhale, exhale. “Shane, I am so fuckin’…hurt!” Stupid. You feel so stupid. Blind and naïve and stupid.

“Take your time. God knows I took mine in fessing up.”

You sniff as much as you can, seeing as Daryl most likely doesn’t have tissues in his tent.

Shane was planning to leave, and at least three people knew about it. But not you, his own family.

The man has fallen low. Betraying Rick and Lori wasn’t enough, not caring about Sophia wasn’t enough; turns out you’re also somebody he doesn’t care about.

Maybe him going away is best, the hurt part of you shrieks. Good riddance!

And once he learns about the baby, this whole Lori thing will blow up if you can’t defuse it, and you don’t think you will be able.

The question he asked you earlier replays in your mind.

“When does somebody get too far gone?”

“I don’t believe that limit exists, man. Nobody’s past hope.”

Goddamn, you’re so tired.

Head against your bent knees, you don’t care why he’s going into Daryl’s tent. You don’t care about what he’s holding out to you, either, and you move away from whatever it is.

“All he had was damp paper towels,” Shane murmurs. “Please, take one.”

“I’d rather blow my nose on your shirt, for all I care,” you hiccup.

Andrea calls your names again. “Y/N, Shane, time to go!”

You don’t move.

Shane doesn’t move, as much you can tell from where your face lies hidden on your knees.

And, like much of this past week, you didn’t see coming what would happen next, what Shane would do. That your big brother would be so...penitent? toward you that he quite actually would remove his shirt and hand it to you?

You blink in disbelief, then find yourself close to smiling. “I can’t actually blow my nose on your shirt, you goon.”

The chicken noises he makes change your mind.

“You dick, I’m gonna actually do it. Then I’ma burn it, I ain’t makin’ nobody clean up what’s in my nose.”

“It’s cool. I deserve worse.”

The word still rubs you the wrong way. “What you deserve is a redemption arc,” you sniffle, and then cannot help but add this minor dig, “And a week without a razor might would do you good, so you’d have to suffer through havin’ chest hair again.”

Shane quietly cracks up, then, yeah, you really need to wipe your nose, so you really use his shirt after he adds how it’ll help his guilt.

When you’re good, you twist your mouth at him. You’re still hurt to the bone, but it’s easing. “You were just aching for an excuse to strip, weren’t you?” you rib.

“Mmhm. Just need me an audience and some Boyz 2 Men in the background, and I’ll be all set.” Grinning at your gagging reaction, he holds out a hand to help you to your feet. And, once he’s picked up Daryl’s pillow and begins to walk back with you, he calls you by your nickname.

His expression looks sad again, and the way he asks makes it clear he wants advice. “What else can I do to get whatever this is out of my system? Do better?”

This is also unexpected, so you bend to pick up some wildflowers. Clover, Queen Anne’s lace, and some smaller yellow ones and some daisy-looking ones. Standing up, you lift your good shoulder in a shrug. “You know how it is, sometimes we gotta fake it ’til we make it.”

He’s asking you advice. His square little sibling.

“What’re the flowers for?”

“Otis. Gonna pop them on his cairn on the way back.”

A cloud seems to pass over him. There are a few moments where nothing is said as he follows you to the rock pile.

“I’ll act right about Sophia,” he promises softly.

Even though he’s admitting his wrongs, the upset flicks on again. You reimagine pulling a tea kettle off the heat before it starts to whistle. “And you’ll give Lori space, and get her out of your head.”

Your brother grunts in assent. “I will.”

“A lot of space, hear?” you mutter while plunking the flowers on the memorial and picking up the pace to get to the SUV. “And stop flirting when you see you’ve upset somebody, that’s the biggest part I didn’t get. She looked frightened, Shane, you had to have seen her back away and cower. Is that who you are now?”

“No,” leaps from his mouth, followed by a sober, quieter, “No.”

A loud clash that was most definitely the cooking pans that were stacked to dry on the chair sounds from the campsite. You hear Lori and T-Dog laugh as you get closer.

“When you used to get all sad, what did you have to do?” he wants to know next.

“For me, it was more of a wait until things leveled out. I had to go through the motions a lot, kept myself distracted. Got help, which was the key part.” You toss his old shirt into the campfire as you two pass it. Glenn stares at you very confused, prompting you to mime him taking off his shirt and tossing it into the fire, after which you look back at him as if questioning why he isn’t also burning his.

“Distractions, okay.Guess I’ll, um,” Shane thinks aloud. As you two pass the clothesline, he takes one of his off the line and pulls it on. “Guess I might will start doing daily runs again, while we got a safe place.”

You smile politely. That advice used to annoy you a bit, too. Exercise does help, though. “Nothin’ gets it all out of your system for a while quite like a run.”

“Mm, literal and figurative, dependin’ on how hard you run.”

You scrunch your nose and pout. “Ew.”

“As if you wouldn’t have made that exact joke if I hadn’t first, weirdo.” Shane lifts a corner of his mouth before he lets himself smile big. It looks like a real one.

The words replay again.

“When does somebody get too far gone?”

“That limit doesn't really exist. Nobody’s past hope.”

You let yourself smile a little, too.

“I’ll run these inside to Daryl, you and the girls hop on in the car, then we’ll roll. And,” he says loud enough that Carol can overhear from where she stands holding the ragdoll. “Ground rules: Sophia gets shotgun if we find her there today. Cool?”

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[bobatelevision]

i had to put my sweet baby down yesterday...

on thursday morning he was fine, eating and drinking fine. nothing out of the ordinary. thursday night he seems to have trouble breathing, he had discharge around his eyes, and kept making these pained noises I've never heard him make before. he had no appetite and wasnt drinking water. i bought some critical care to try force feeding him but he wasnt accepting it at all and tried to give him a mix of pedialyte + water to get him fluids and he accepted some but not a lot. i thought he maybe had some upper respiratory infection and maybe needed antibiotics, so i started calling some veterinarians in my area.

it was really late at night too so i called around and had such a hard time finding a vet to treat him bc most of the animal hospitals either:

-serviced guinea pigs

-their exotic vet wasnt in that night

-serviced guinea pigs but was closed

i was scared to even go to sleep that night bc his conditioned looked so bad, i didnt think he would even make it to the morning. but he managed to survive the night, so i called around again and was able to find a vet about 40 min away that could take him. we enter the hospital and they immediately take him in and i was in the waiting room. the doc comes out to talk to me to explain what was happening.

he had a stone in his bladder that was blocking his urethra and he couldn't urinate. bladder stones can be very life threatening bc if an animal cant pee, it can develop an infection (sepsis) and even get a heart attack. when she examined him, everytime she palpated his bladder he would be in pain, so they gave him a pain injection. they lead me into a room to explain what his treatment would consist of, and i was fucking shocked.

nearly $5k for his surgery and treatment, i couldn't fucking believe it. the worst part is there really was no plan b on his treatment that wasn't euthanasia. i felt so fucking sick, but i had to think on it more. i thought about maybe calling other animal hospitals but i already had a lot of trouble trying to find anyone to treat him at all, and even if there was a miracle situation where i could afford his treatment, it would not guarantee that he wouldnt fall ill again. on top of the fact that guinea pigs are really fragile creatures and dont have very long life spans. the procedure is incredibly invasive and could put so much stress on his little body. i didnt want him to be in more pain than he really was.

so i made the tough decision on putting him down, because i didn't want him to suffer any longer. i'm so heartbroken bc although i knew we would part ways one day, i didnt imagine it would be so soon. we spent past 3 years together, i adopted him mid pandemic bc being stuck in a different country from the rest of my family is incredibly isolating. i gave him so much love and spoiled him so much. he ate veggies & hay to his hearts content, would start cui-cuing at the sound of a bag being opened, he got to sleep in the largest and comfiest pet beds. he used to sleep on my nap while i gamed or watched shows. he was very skittish with people, except for me bc he knew i would give him the world. i'm feeling so defeated rn. i stayed with him til the very last moment, he was very sedated but soo cuddly in the last hour. the only thing to bring me peace of mind is knowing he was relaxed and in no pain in his final moments.

he doesn't know the amount of people that love him around the world, even as far as Australia. he had an impact on many people. all my irls and my online friends absolutely adored him. even my mom, who is deathly afraid of rodents, thought he was so cute and precious bc of how fluffy he is. his departure left a huge hole in my heart. when i got back home, i bursted into tears looking at his empty enclosure. im so used to him jumping around and getting quirked up when he hears me enter my room. i just cant believe i'll never get to see him, or hold him, or even feed him again.

Rest in Peace, my beloved Taro.

I love you so dearly, you may very little but you had a very huge heart.. and appetite. You will always be missed and I hope you are enjoying large quantities of lettuce in cui cui heaven.

[greetingfromthedead]

C55: United Again

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Series Rating: 18+ / Explicit

Chapter: 55/84

Words: 1.8k

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Vash had avoided letting you out of his sight; he even looked for excuses like going to the biodome and taking care of the toma to keep you from getting dragged into the rabbit hole of research and experiments with Luida.

"I don't mind." You laugh as he finally confesses why he has been glued to you all evening. "I like her, and it's all so interesting. She's like a window to a different life of mine, while I was nowhere near as good of a person as she is... It's still nice. I trust her completely, so she doesn't trigger any bad memories. It's strange, but then again, most things about me are so..."

You pet the neck of Vash's tomas, who is making cooing sounds by your ear.

"That's not what I meant... but now I feel guilty for dragging you away..." Vash looks at his feet, and he looks a bit pathetic, making you giggle.

"What did you mean then?" your smile clear in your voice.

"Just that I wanted you to myself," he mumbles, still looking at his feet. "I might have gotten a bit jealous... You had so much fun with her, and I only got in the way, so I wanted to have some time with you for myself..."

Your expression softens further, and it melts your heart. You feel a little bad because it's true that Vash was left out of your activities today. You step closer, leaving the tomas to nip at your shirt, and go up to him. You stand toe to toe and use your fingers to lift up his chin. He avoids your eyes at first but then locks his baby blues with your gaze.

"I'm sorry you felt left out." Your hand moves to stroke over his face. "While I was happy spending time with Luida, nothing in this world compares to you. My nature doesn't matter; my past doesn't matter; I would trade in all my yesterdays for a future with you."

"You always say the sweetest things." His thumb runs down your lips onto your chin. "I'm just so happy to see you better. You scared me so much for a while, I thought I was going to lose you."

"I'd always come back to you, silly!" You smile wide at him.

"I'm afraid." He sighs silently, and his eyes go down again.

"Of what?" Your fingers reach into his hair and pull his forehead against yours.

"Of the future," he presses his eyes shut tight. "We don't know what the future brings and... what I have to do... I want to keep you safe. I want to keep everyone safe. No, I need to keep everyone safe. But I don't know what it will cost. What if it costs everything? What if it costs the future with you..."

"You said you could never leave me. So don't think about that. Make a promise; swear it. Swear that you'll always find your way back to me."

Vash pauses for a moment, one of his hands still touching your chin, the other resting on your hip. He takes a deep breath, his eyes still closed.

"I swear to you, my Stardust, my lovely Iris, that I will always find a way to come back to you. I will be with you. For an eternity."

"Look at me," you say softly as you release his hair. When Vash opens his eyes, he is met with yours, and he lifts his forehead. You take both of his hands, intertwining your fingers, and then press them against your heart without losing eye contact. "I promise you that I will be safe; nothing bad that happens to me is your fault, and I will always, always come back to you. No matter what, I will be with you. For an eternity."

He looks at you tenderly as you declare your promise and then presses his lips onto yours, his grip on your hand tightening.

"See? There's nothing to be afraid of now," you say as he pulls away. "I don't make promises that I don't intend to keep, and you're Vash the Stampede; you always keep your promises. So we're in the clear. Whatever it may cost, it can't cost our future."

"Maybe Mary was right after all; I should have gotten you that ring then and there," he smiles.

"Hold your horses, cowboy!" You let out a laugh, squeezing his hands. "At the very least, don't propose by the toma pen; yours will get awfully jealous!"

As night fell and you and Vash are the only ones left roaming the spaceship, you go back to the biodome. In the dark, it looks a lot different than it did just a few hours ago. He holds your hand and guides you along the paths, your eyes moving between the gorgeous flowers, which you could swear are lightly glowing, and the sky above, with hundreds of thousands of distant lights shining in through the glass roof, but they are nearly outshined by the large moons, emanating their different colored hues. There are no artificial lights under the dome, and you don't need any. You see everything clearly: the flowing stream, the little cornflowers and forget-me-nots, periwinkles and lupines, and so many more species of flowers whose names you don't know. You look over the lush grass and the tall trees. The greenery surrounding you feels like home, even if it is so different from the ancient forests you grew up in. The little stream here is too tame to compare to the river by your house. Finally, you can connect your feelings to memories—the same ones that have been locked away for so long. Despite everything, the man holding your hand is more important; his grip, the warmth he brings into your heart, the now outweigh all the rest. You meant it when you said you would trade your past in for a future with him.

You see Vash's free hand moving to the inside of his jacket, and he grabs something from his pocket. You hadn't noticed him carrying anything, so it fills you with curiosity. You try to peek around him, even over his shoulder, but you don't catch a glimpse of anything new.

"What have you got there?" You ask as you go closer; no longer behind him, you still don't see into his hand.

"Just be patient," he says, smiling at you. He left his glasses in his room with the shoulder guard.

"Mh!" you let out a displeased sound and try the same trick he has pulled on you a number of times: puppy dog eyes.

"You are very cute, but if anything, I won't tell you what I have here just to see more of this," he chuckles.

"You're impossible!"

He just continues his laugh and guides you to a little flat spot by a tree. He lets go of your hand and takes a few more steps before squatting down by the trunk of the tree. You are left waiting with curiosity as he places something on the ground and fiddles with it. Suddenly you hear the familiar click, and before even the music starts to play, you recognize it as Vash's little radio. He turns the knob until he is satisfied with the station's choice of music and straightens up. Vash takes off his large red coat and leaves it on the grass.

You see the moonlight dancing in his eyes as he turns towards you. His hand reached towards you, palm up as an invitation. He closes the gap between you with a few long steps and bows to you.

"M'lady! Would you graciously allow me this dance?" His gaze is cheeky as he looks up to see your reaction.

"It would be my honor, oh handsome knight!" You smile brightly and place your hand into his.

Vash's grip tightens, and he pulls you closer, placing his hand on your waist and yours lands near his shoulder. This time, he doesn't drag you into a wide and swooping waltz where you can't hope to keep up with his enormous and exaggerated strides, leggy as he is. Instead, he sways gently, mostly staying in place, only turning a tiny bit with each step. He moves your hand—that's in his—to his lips and gives your knuckles a kiss. He keeps in time with the music, his eyes lovingly on yours.

"I've been meaning to ask... Why do you enjoy dancing so much?" You inquire with a smile.

"It was Rem who taught me how to. She loved all those things: books, music, art, dancing. They meant a lot to her, so they do to me too." His eyes are so soft before they get a mischievous glint. "Also, most girls in the saloons like to dance; it has always been a good way to get a smooch!"

He laughs at your disapproving expression and places a kiss on your cheek. His nose traces to your ear.

"But you're the only girl for me, my love!" He takes a deep breath in, still by your ear. "I have a feeling that the whole universe conspired just to cross our paths. I adore you."

He straightens up again, still swaying the both of you in time to the tunes. His hand on your waist pulls you closer, the fingers gripping you tighter.

"The feelings you wake in me, the longing and love you bring forth, I have never felt like this ever before; never have I loved like this, so deeply, so passionately." He smiles tenderly. "I will try for the rest of my days to make you happy, so if I stumble and fall and make a fool of myself... please forgive me."

"You have nothing to worry about," you laugh lightly. "You are the kindest, most selfless soul I've met, and I too am a stranger to love like this. We will both try our best; we will learn, and we most likely will fail at some point, but we will try again and do better."

He lets go of your waist, takes a step back, and twirls you around before catching you in his embrace again, his hand tighter and more around you. As you look up, you see his gaze isn't on you; instead, it is upturned, and you too look into the night sky.

"Do you see her, Rem? Isn't she wonderful?" You see his teeth bare in a wide smile. "You would have liked her, I'm sure. If only you could have met her..."

You notice a stray tear roll down from the corner of his eye, but there is no sadness in his voice—not really. It's acceptance and just a wishful thought.

"At least I have met her," you say quietly. "You carry so much of her in you; it feels like I know her. I am grateful to her. I know she would be so proud of you."

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[soullikethesea]

Parts stuff

I tried telling T what was happening inside during the session. I even emailed her about it. Now there is this swarm of thoughts (a part?) telling me that I'm a liar, bad, and wrong. How dare I make something out of nothing, act as though I know what I'm talking about...

I know this is trying to protect me. Just like the waves of fear were yesterday. And the thoughts that I should just end my life. It's all trying to guide me away.

Away from what, I don't know. Probably just away from the wordless pain. Probably nothing I don't already sort of know, but cannot really feel. I'm not sure how to interact with this part. It mostly just scares me a lot.

Yesterday during therapy Thunder showed up as well. No full-on switch, just felt he was there. I know now that he likes Sesame street, and nature. And pretty sounds, and lightning dragons. He is very sad and angry. Apparently he also knows something about my dad being scary.

And then when I couldn't connect to T, I felt the "I am bad" part. She just repeats that she is bad and sends out a bunch of shame. I could see quite clearly now that she is two or three years old. I imagined gifting her rain boots and taking her on a stroll on a path with puddles to stomp in. It just kept feeling bad though, with the waves of fear that we got. Very overwhelming and we sort of kept squirming in our seat. Eventually I remembered she likes blankets and asked T for a blanket and that actually helped a lot to calm us down. It felt less exposed.

Mouse has also been around a lot. She absolutely adores a little baby blanket and loves holding it and putting it near her cheek. She thinks we're on a boat a lot of the time. Sometimes I wake up shivering from fear when she's around.

And when I left therapy my teeth were chattering. Probably also from all the tension/fear. This stuff is all so wordless and thoughtless and narrative-less. It makes it quite puzzling.

[alltheselights]

Gonna be brutally honest and say that it’s either Louis gets his shit together )and I don’t mean to be rude but I’m am blunt with my word)and grow a pair and stop treating these people like they’re his besties rather than people he hired to do their damn job he is gonna end up with nothing left. Like I am so scared that his next album won’t even make any noise. And we’re already seeing the effect of the lack of promo during Both walls album and concerts, his fandom has died down but these people were so confident and cocky with their whole “his fans are so dedicated no way they are ever leaving and look at this lady lad from Doncaster who is not like other girls and hates everything everyone likes and is suuuuch a nice guy” that they couldn’t even think to broaden his fandom and utilize the fact that this man has some of the best personality that I have ever seen in a human being . If Louis isn’t able to sale enough tickets it’s nothing but the consequences of his team and him as well. And I’m even more scared that shit can’t be reversed. Louis is a grown man and I can’t help but cringe at the omg my baby are you ok? bullshit people got going on. Like people are being fucked over and disrespected and it’s attached to his name. Like Hold him accountable! Don’t be hateful and spiteful but let’s hold him accountable.

Yup, I put a ton of blame on his team because they really are one of the most shitty, incompetent groups of people that I've ever seen, but at the end of the day, it's up to Louis to surround himself with people who are actually helping him and he hasn't done that. While I do believe that there are still things behind-the-scenes that Louis is having to deal with that may limit his ability to do or change certain things, it's clear that he genuinely likes much of his team (which is truly baffling because they're really bad at their jobs). There's also always more that he could do, such as being more active on social media, making improvements to how he presents himself to help expand his fanbase, and formulating a better statement than the half-assed one that he did yesterday.

He keeps saying faith in the future, but until he starts making some serious changes as well, I just don't have any.