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itsclydebitches · 2 years

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RWBY Fairy Tales Recaps: “The Girl in the Tower”

Hello, everyone! It’s been a long time since I added to this collection. My bad 😬

That’s because—as I mentioned in passing a couple of times while answering asks—I got pretty stuck on recapping this fairy tale. I realized (several weeks after I’d first started) that this was because I wasn’t actually recapping “The Girl in the Tower.” Rather, my thoughts regarding Salem and the implications attached to this short spiraled into a much broader dive into RWBY’s handling of sympathetic villains, particularly the women. Though everything I wrote is relevant to the tale, it got to the point where I was trying to do far too much in an otherwise narrowly defined post, spinning in writing circles until it felt like I didn’t know what I was trying to accomplish anymore.

Eventually I made the painful, but necessary move of scraping everything and starting over. Now, here we are!

Much of what I originally had to say still colors this recap, but let’s actually stick to the fairy tale this time, yeah? In addition, though in the past I’ve done a detailed comparison to Myers’ original story, this time there was so much to cover I didn’t want to get sidetracked again. Outside of a quote or two towards the end, we’re keeping to the adaptation.

Let’s get started!

Ozpin begins the story by summarizing that “a beautiful girl was locked in a tower by her cruel father” and right off the bat we hit one of my biggest problems with this fairy tale as a part of the RWBY-verse: there’s no subversion. There’s no twist, no surprise, not spark of originality here. RWBY markets itself as a fairy tale that plays with other fairy tales and though yes, we’ve discussed as a community how those changes can mean almost anything nowadays (there’s no unifying intention, let alone one that actually functions as a subversion most of the time), but something usually exists to spark viewer interest. Little Red Riding Hood now hunts the wolves herself. In this universe the Tin Man already had, but lost, his heart. Pinocchio still becomes human, but then gives her life less than an hour after achieving that (never established) dream. You get the idea. Even when RWBY is playing with fairy tales in a manner that arguably hurts the story as a whole, it’s still some kind of innovation that might keep the viewer interested, at least for a time. Yet here, “The Girl in the Tower” is as straightforward as any Golden Era Disney film which, while not inherently bad, doesn’t exactly fit RWBY’s marketed appeal. There is a “beautiful girl,” a “cruel father,” the terrible fate of being locked away, and eventually the handsome knight come to save her. There’s admittedly agency in Salem sending her notes (we’ll get to that) and the ways in which this story is colored by our knowledge that she’ll become a villain past her Happy Ending... but the actual fairy tale on its own? It’s as bland and straightforward as they come, made all the worse by giving Salem the means to do something compelling—powerful magic at her fingertips—and simply... not using that.

As is the trend in this collection, a lackluster tale is made better by the stylistic presentation, particularly when it comes to the backgrounds. We get to see the ruin of Salem’s castle moving backwards to its initial glory—and, notably, looking a whole lot like Beacon Academy. Crush my heart why don’t you—and all the animated gears work like a puppet display, cranking individual pieces into a unified whole. I don’t need to explain to anyone reading this why the gears themselves are significant.

We’re introduced to the King who, in true king fashion, wears a crown. Now, question: is it the same as the Crown of Choice?

I’m honestly not sure. (Bear with me. I promise I don’t need to get my eyes checked.) One would think not given that they’re made of different materials and have different gem stones too. The King’s is silver with some kind of blue jewel, whereas the king from “The Indecisive King”—whom we know did possess the Relic—is copper-y with... emeralds? I’m not going to pretend that I can identify gems in real life, let alone through RT’s animation. The point is that they’re even shaped differently, which should imply that no, there’s no connection between the two.

However, RWBY is also the show that gave us this:

I’ll get into the problems of erasing the SEW’s race in my recap of “The Warrior in the Woods,” but for now it’s just important to note that RT didn’t bother to keep their character consistent between their show and the book that it’s based on, even when this visual connection is the one thing that ties two different mediums together. RWBY is also the webseries that gave us this symbol

alongside this one

yet has now, apparently, insisted that there’s no connection between them. As far as I can tell, this was confirmed during a Reddit AMA back in December of 2021 with Kerry saying, “in hindsight we probably shouldn’t have let some elements be so similar, but no, Jaune and Salem aren’t related” (Lucifer_Crowe). AKA, all us “Jaune is a descendant of Salem with the emblem becoming simplified over the generations” theorists should pack up that idea and move onto something else. A part of me is very revealed by this announcement, mostly because I wasn’t interested in dealing with the fallout of Jaune getting (another) major contribution to the plot. That relief aside though, this admission that “we probably shouldn’t have let some elements be so similar” reinforces the idea that we really can’t trust what we see on screen in RWBY. Very similar emblems (and hair color, eye color, a powerful lineage, to say nothing of Tyrian’s comment) apparently mean nothing. And this is by no means a one-off mistake. There’s no effort made to adapt a canonical illustration. The animators had to scramble to distinguish silver eyes after the writers didn’t consider that gray eyes would look identical. Our last arc gave Ironwood a semblance that provided no noticeable difference in how he was animated once his aura was broken, despite that being a core way for the audience to determine what abilities are or are not influencing the story. In short, as a visual medium the RWBY franchise should encourage a wealth of analysis about the animation itself, but the story is so inconsistent we simply cannot trust that anything we visually pick up on is actually significant. Or, in turn, that a difference means that there’s truly no connection here. Is the crown that adorns Salem’s father’s head the same Relic that caused a previous king so much grief, perhaps providing an explanation for his similarly gaunt appearance and his strange choice to keep his daughter locked away, convinced she will perish if set free?

Or is there no connection between the two images, leaving the King as a generic, motiveless bad guy in a tale already struggling to live up to RWBY’s attempts to innovate, the visual parallels pure coincidence?

It’s most likely the latter, but we can’t be sure because RT has a long history of visual mistakes. They really are the studio that might animate two totally different crowns and then unexpectedly go, “Actually yeah, they are the same. Why don’t they look alike? Uh… because they’re shown in different stories! Yeah, or something like that. It’s a smart stylistic choice, trust us ;)” Fans should be able to theorize about a story with confidence, knowing the authors will either validate the details they caught, or surprise us by going in a new direction that is, crucially, still supported by what we see and hear on screen. Yet RWBY continues to fail on both fronts, forgetting to include significant details in their show while simultaneously positioning others as only existing in meta-commentary.

That tangent aside, let’s get to the plot proper. We’re introduced to this King whose wife (also unnamed) dies while delivering Salem (another tired choice imo). He’s so consumed by grief that he can’t even hold his daughter when the nurse presents her to him and initially, I took this to mean that the King locked Salem away out of a warped sense of danger. Hence, theories about how the Crown of Choice might be influencing him. Apparently though, from what else we can gather, he’s just an abusive asshole. That it. It’s originally implied that Salem is locked up because the King feared losing her as he did his wife, but then that’s shown to be an excuse for his far more generic cruelty. He claims to keep her in the tower so that Salem may be safe from the evils of the world, but the understanding for the audience is that in reality he just sees her as another of his possessions, a living treasure to keep secure in an overly-large chest. Frankly, it feels like too many motivations for what amounts to a character with literal seconds of screen time. RWBY as a franchise has a habit of introducing various concepts in an effort the make characters complex, but then the failure to follow up on any of those ideas results in minor confusion at best, outright contradictions at worst. The King is by no means the most overt example of this, but I find it notable that even for what is ultimately meant to be a cardboard cutout dude functioning as a plot devise, RWBY feels the need to introduce “nuance” that inevitably falls flat when nothing is done with it.

“You are my most precious possession,” he tells a very young Salem, just in case there was any lingering confusion about whether he considers her a person or not. Why make the King interesting with an internal life of his own when you can just make him another bad man doing bad things for... reasons.

The strangeness of the King’s characterization aside, something I do love about this moment is his hand reaching out towards Salem, overly large and looming… only to settle kindly on the top of her head. It’s a great visual for an abuser, where we as the audience know he means Salem harm, is currently enacting that harm, the implications of the shot are not inaccurate—and yet the end result of the gesture is just a pat on the head. This shot neatly summarizes how abusers can hide behind perceived intentions, enacting choices that appear kind if you don’t know the whole situation. We see similar work with the teddy bear he gives to Salem. Is a father giving his daughter a toy in-and-of-itself a wonderful, wholesome gesture? Yes. Is a father giving his daughter a toy in an attempt to compensate for keeping her perpetually locked in a tower wonderful and wholesome? I sure hope we all know the answer to that… Every once in a while, RWBY manages something really nice and I’m forcibly reminded of the potential this series isn’t capitalizing on.

This is Salem’s norm all throughout her childhood, asking to be let out and instead being given additional treasures to pass the time. Later, when she’s much older—sometime in her teens—we see her attempt to pass through the barrier that surrounds the tower and keeps her from escaping out the window. Frankly, I would have given the audience this moment when she was still a kid because as it stands, the action reads like this is Salem’s first time trying to leave the confines of her room. And that’s not just because it’s our first time seeing the attempt: Salem deliberately touches the barrier and then cradles her hand against her chest as if it has hurt her and like yeah, sure, maybe she prods the equivalent of an electrical shock because she’s that bored, but it’s just strange to show an action she would have learned to avoid by now, especially when you’ve already modeled her as a child. It’s one of those choices that doesn’t mean much on its own, but considering that one of my primary questions is how much Salem has tested the limits of her freedom prior to calling on strangers to die in her name… yeah, I’d like to know why an acknowledgement of the barrier doesn’t come until years after it was erected.

Unable to go outside, Salem asks her father for books instead, so that she might at least experience things second-hand. “The world in these books,” Salem says. “What a marvelous place!” This series has certainly played with the concept of storytelling itself—seen most notably in the faunus fairy tales and Ozpin’s meta-comments on each story — and though “The Girl in the Tower” doesn’t capitalize on the implication, I’m intrigued by Salem’s use of the singular here: “world” and “place.” It’s like she’s conceptualized all these different stories into a single vision of what the world is. Again, it’s not something RWBY is interested in exploring (and there certainly isn’t time for it), but does Salem think that everything she’s been given is non-fiction? Is she able to distinguish between a story, a history, and the bias that influences both? The answer is likely “no” given that she has, canonically, never set foot outside this room. For those fans who are interested in exploring Salem’s character in fic, it’s worth unpacking what she thought Remnant might look like vs. what she actually ended up with — death, cruel gods, a curse she’s maybe incapable of breaking depending on whether the grimm pool left her with the ability to grow and come to understand the (supposed) importance of death...

Basically, there’s a contrast here between the bright-eyed Salem in love with the world of her books and the abusive, monstrous Salem we get later in the series. It’s a change that’s ripe for some introspective consideration.

In time though, Salem finishes all the books in the castle and, for obvious reasons, still finds herself unsatisfied. “Tomorrow I’ll be sixteen and I’ve never even stepped outside!” It’s in her anger that Salem throws the book she’s just finished and it sails out the window, right through the barrier. Again, not to nitpick the five minute fairy tale, but it really took Salem sixteen years to realize that objects could leave the tower? Honestly, no wonder the heroes are winning so easily. Salem has always been a little slow on the uptake, huh?

Okay, okay, jokes aside, I am serious about this. Wouldn’t it have been better to have kid!Salem throw a temper tantrum and discover this loophole earlier? Give us a childhood and early teenage years of her trying various ways to escape, only to eventually succumb to what she sees as a horrible necessity? Honestly, I have a lot of feelings about this “Salem did nothing for sixteen years and then jumped straight to murder” plot-line. Because to skip ahead just a tad, Salem decides to call on all the nearby knights to kill her father.

Here then, we get to the part of the recap where I feel the need to explain that I’m not trying to victim blame Salem here, but rather I’m commenting on RT’s inability to craft a situation where the extreme nature of Salem’s solution feels justified. Because for me, justification is tied not just to the horrific nature of what she’s trying to escape, but also her duty as a human being. If Salem is going to settle on allowing others to fight this battle on her behalf, under arguably false pretenses, and with all but one of those volunteers dying in the process… I want to be convinced by the story that Salem tried every better option first; that this is indeed the last possible resort. Has she tried to sneak past her father? Get the maid to help her? Fight him herself given that, as said, she’s a very powerful magic wielder who does eventually fight her way out of the castle?

That’s probably my biggest sticking point with this story: what was the point of taking a character already established as individually powerful and having them sit around for someone else to come save them? Especially when they’re a woman who the audience will be reading through a decades-long history of passively written characters. Double especially in a franchise that’s supposedly built around both emphasizing women’s agency and undermining our expectations for fairy tales. Yes, Salem’s story here needs to match up with what we were shown in The Lost Fable (not that RWBY has a good track record of keeping things consistent…) yet that just showcases how badly thought out this was in the larger scheme of the RWBY universe. Who looked at our series’ Big Bad, an unfathomably powerful obstacle living in a world at least somewhat interested in turning fairy tale expectations on their head, someone who, based on the writing of “The Lost Fable” and Ozpin’s established character since Episode One, was always conceived of as having personal power, even before she got tangled up with the Gods…

…and then decided to stick her in a tower to wait around for the knight’s rescue?

Contrary to what some critics might claim—and what many of my own metas might imply—the RWBY characters are not actually cardboard cutouts who exist solely to forward a plot, or even impart some moral message. They’re meant to have personalities, goals, and above all motivation, which makes “The Girl in the Tower” flounder considering this isn’t even a generic side-character, but Salem herself. She’s arguably the character next to Ruby. Yet Salem feels so flat to me here, largely due to that lack of agency and the equal lack of creativity that inevitably lumps her in with every other sanitized fairy tale. Why give us a determined woman pushing the limits of her father’s imprisonment when Salem could just sit there for the whole story? Again, I want to stress that there’s nothing inherently wrong with these character traits in any real-life situation we might equate this to. Yes, I know enough to understand that most abuse victims are going to accommodate their abusers out of a need to keep themselves safe, alongside being conditioned—in this case since childhood—to see this as normal, thereby making Salem’s passiveness at least semi-realistic. I also understand that not every character needs to be a kick-ass taker of what they want (I actually have a great deal of dislike for the Strong Female Character) and that Salem’s love of reading is just as valid a characterization as someone who, I don’t know, encourages the maid to do more on her behalf. We can even make the case that this quiet, bookish Salem makes for a wonderful contrast to the power-hungry threat she’d become, or that she’s perfectly in character given the still unexplained thousand years she spent just sitting around, not going after her goals until the heroes were conveniently in combat school. All of this is true!

But Salem isn’t a real person undergoing real abuse. If we’ve learned anything from RWBY’s handling of Blake’s faunus heritage and Yang’s disability—both of which were dropped after introducing the bare bones of nuance—it’s that RT is very willing to throw respect for those subjects aside in an effort to craft an exciting tale. No one (according to canon implications and a few Word of God comments) wants to watch Yang working through a depression at home, or Ruby grappling with nightmares, or Blake overcoming systemic racism… despite the fact that they chose to introduce those plot-lines in the first place. The show would much prefer to put emphasis on the fun, exciting aspects that RWBY was originally built on. This conflict is obviously a problem, but the flip-side is that Salem’s story is, arguably, one place where RT could have emphasized the Rule of Cool over real world allegories without any issues… and they didn’t. I can obviously only speak for myself, but I don’t need a fairy tale that tries to unpack the complexities of a woman held prisoner, especially when that character will go on to become both a domestic abuser herself, as well as the series’ Big Bad. Outside of a very generalize takeaway of “Abuse is cyclical” that the viewer might come to in their own time, there’s simply too much there to unpack. Don’t even try. However, you know what the story could use? That sort of simplicity used as a springboard for a kickass plot where a woman saves herself from captivity.

As it stands, Salem apparently thought little of her imprisonment for sixteen years, suddenly got mad about it, decided on a manipulative murder scheme as the only solution, and yet continued to stand around while others carried that out. It’s... not a great combination.

She has this light-bulb moment about the book going through the barrier and the next day, when the King visits to gift Salem with all the jewels and clothes befitting a captive princess on her birthday, she asks him for pen and paper (quill and paper? When did the word “pen” come into use?) so that she can write stories of her own. The tone of the conversation is notable in that the King appears rather taken with her request — he asks that Salem read him her stories when she’s finished — but Salem clearly sounds like she’s plotting something. Specifically, she writes a story about herself, folds numerous copies into paper... birds, since airplanes don’t exist yet, and throws them out her window for others to find.

Now, ignoring both that Salem writes this cry for help as a story rather than a first-person note that people would be much more likely to take seriously, and that her little folding technique would only fly a few feet before plummeting to the ground (unless she’s using magic?) here’s my problem with this whole plan:

“Once there was a beautiful maiden locked in a tower by her cruel, lord father. She longed to experience the world outside, but she was his prisoner. If only some brave, strong warrior would defeat the evil lord and free her at last, they would marry, inherit all of the father’s riches, and live happily ever after.”

This is so manipulative. The fandom gives Ozpin shit for not being forthcoming about Salem’s immortality, but at least he never presented the war itself as some sunny quest with a big reward at the end. Here, Salem is leading strangers to their deaths by a) promising them things that, at this point in the story, we don’t know whether she intends to uphold (does she really mean to marry whoever saves her? Sure, she fell for Ozpin, but what if it hadn’t been him? Will she give up her inheritance if she’s no longer marrying the guy she promised it to?) and b) failing to warn anyone that her father is a crazy powerful sorcerer who will obliterate anyone who tries to take his daughter away. “Lord” doesn’t cover any of that! Note how cushy she makes this all sound. I’m beautiful! I’m a maiden! You, person I’ve never laid eyes on, are so brave and strong ;) Come murder my father and we can totally get married, you’ll get all my dad’s shit, and we’ll definitely be happy for ever and ever and ever.

There’s just so much of this that I can’t get behind which, yes, includes Salem wanting to kill her dad. Look, I’m not defending the rat bastard. Locking your kid up in a tower — whether that’s due to seeing her as a possession, or a learned fear that loved ones will perish if not kept perfectly safe, both of which the narrative implies — is really fucked up. Salem deserves her freedom. But it’s also fucked up to do a fantasy equivalent of a Craigslist call for a hit on your dad when, as far as we’ve seen, Salem never tried any other means of escape. She just realized that objects can pass through his barrier — which to me says she hasn’t tried very hard to test the limits of her imprisonment. — and then jumped straight to not only getting someone else to kill the King, but doing so in a way that puts those volunteers in the most dangerous position possible: lusting after her, desiring riches, and having no real idea what they’re about to face.

Namely, this:

How many people did Salem get killed?? Okay, yes, in some respects this is similar to Ozpin’s situation with his students in that regardless of how much information these warriors had to work from, they all ultimately decided for themselves to take the risk. There’s even a line that implies that many of them did it because saving her was the right thing to do, not because they were after the rewards: “the story of the girls’ tragic circumstances spread far and wide.” Salem didn’t put a fantasy gun to their head and force them here. But unlike Ozpin’s rock and hard place problem (you really can’t fight an army of endless grimm without an army of your own), Salem didn’t try anything before her “Let other people die for me” plan. Then when she realizes these guys are dying for her, she looks real upset about it...

...but doesn’t try to put a stop to what she’s started.

That was the tipping point for me. If this was the story of an abused, isolated sixteen-year-old who made an impulsive decision, only to realize with horror the unintended consequences of that and try desperately to fix it... that would be different. But Salem doesn’t seem to care that all these guys are dying for her, not enough to try and stop it, anyway. We know that her notes spread “far and wide,” that “one warrior after another” came, and that “many tried,” but “just as many fell to the lord’s powerful, evil magic.” It’s only “one day” that Ozpin himself showed up, meaning we have this undetermined stretch of time where Salem just watched from her tower as all these knights were obliterated, apparently coming to the conclusion, “Alright, that’s sad and all, but my freedom is totally worth it. What I want trumps others’ lives.”

“Why is this a problem, Clyde?” you might ask. “Salem is the villain. Surely you’ve got nothing against villains doing questionable things, right?” I sure don’t! Rather, the problem here is that Salem wasn’t supposed to be a villain just yet and yes, I know that for a fact due to “The Lost Fable.” This isn’t a case of fans being upset because a backstory didn’t meet their specific preferences or expectations, this is a case of the backstory undermining the emotional core of events that we’ve already seen. Regardless of where you fall on the Salem vs. the Gods debate — how much was she a victim of their cruelty, how much was their curse deserved based on her choices, etc. — we nevertheless start with the story of a victim whose traditional Happy Ending was blown to pieces when the True Love Protagonist (Ozpin) dies. Hell, that debate hinges on agreeing that Salem was a good person and then did questionable things. Yet now, thanks to “The Girl in the Tower,” I’m no longer able to read “The Lost Fable” as a tragic tale of grief taken to an extreme, I’m just like, “Oh, Salem was always a budding sociopath, huh?”

(“Someone is here to murder Dad and whatever staff and guards get in the way! Woohoo! I’ll wait up here until they’ve done the majority of the work. I’ll just kill a few people on my way out. As a treat.”)

Which yeah, is a story. No matter what version of Salem we get, or what else RT might add that changes our reading of her arc, every version possible is always going to resonate with someone. I have no doubt that plenty of fans adore the reveal that Salem was always toying with the manipulation and callous dismissal of others’ lives that would later become staples of her villainy. For me though, it’s just another way that RT has muddied the waters of their abuse themes, reiterating that they don’t know what they’re trying to say about such complex topics and unintentionally ruining what good writing we originally had. Salem was a generic Big Bad. Then she was made sympathetic. Then we debated how much. Then she became Ozpin’s abuser. Then the fandom dismissed that. Then she underwent a journey that twisted her into who she is today. Then we were told that journey isn’t actually important because she was flirting with those horrors from the get-go. She’s the victim. She’s the manipulator. She’s the puppet-master. She’s going to wait around for someone to save her. She doesn’t care how many die in her name, She’s the classic princess walking off into the sunset with her knight... This isn’t character complexity, this is RWBY flip-flopping every other scene until I no longer know what to think of Salem’s character, let alone what messages the story might be trying to impart.

By the end of the episode, Ozpin says that “Stories hold great power over their audiences. The girl in the tower used her power and led many warriors to their deaths,” so I’m like okay, at least the writers are aware of how fucked up that scenario is, but THEN:

“We must read with some skepticism and decide the truth for ourselves.”

Oh, now the fucked-up-ness is suddenly up for debate? What’s the point of acknowledging it then? Besides, Ozpin, you lived this. Salem would have told him the first half of this story long before her fall into the grimm pool, meaning before she became someone who was overtly keeping secrets and/or lying to him. What do he mean we need to “read with some skepticism.” About what? Which part? What truth is Ozpin doubting here? Because from the audience’s perspective, this is the one fairy tale that we know for a fact is not a fairy tale at all. It’s history and sure, even lived history is remembered with bias, but that’s a far cry from the black and white “truth” that the episode seems to be peddling.

RWBY has no idea what it’s trying to say and I will die on that hill.

Meanwhile, I’m watching this animation of a whole line of warriors arriving to face down the King + his army and I’m going, “Damn, if it’s a one vs. many situation regardless, how about Salem give it a go? At least she has magic of her own, unlike these guys with just sword and shield. She could blast her dad the second he opens the door to her room. If you want him dead so badly just kill him yourself!”

But no, Salem waits, which both keeps her in the passive princess position and makes her at least somewhat responsible for these deaths — or at least fairly indifferent towards her hand in setting everything in motion. So what exactly does RT want me to get out of this story? Because my takeaway is that Salem was always a villain in the making, prone to jumping to the most violent solution first and uncaring that others are dying in her stead, despite the fact that she too has the tools — arguably better tools — to secure her own freedom, but we always need to wait for the man heroically open the door, right? (I’m sorry, Ozpin, I love you, you’re just been put into a shitty, archetypal position here.) Again, ignoring the potential, realistic behavior of an abuse victim that simply doesn’t exist within RWBY, the implication is that Salem prefers to be the puppet master literally standing on high as others do her dirty work for her, but she didn’t come into that through the journey we’ve seen throughout the rest of the franchise, it was just always there?

Bad people are innately bad, I guess? God knows we’ve acknowledged RWBY’s messy double-standard when it comes to redemption on this blog.

After all this, Ozpin’s arrival is barely a blip on my radar. He wins against the King because he has his own “powerful magic,” but then we watch Salem escaping with him, blasting through guards with an orange magic beam equal to his green one. It’s another example of how the visuals in RWBY are meaningless because although they’re animated as identical, we have to assume Ozpin is stronger because otherwise why wouldn’t Salem free herself?

“You have rescued me from this castle,” the girl said.

“You have rescued yourself.”

He and Salem hold hands as they walk off into the woods together, Ozpin saying that Salem will decide where they go since she has yet to see the world. We pull out from the fairy tale and back into Ozpin’s office where he says that, “This fairy tale is unique on Remnant in that the protagonist writes her own story... and her ending.”

Setting aside my continued frustration over Salem’s agency in this — the references to writing stories as a metaphor for carving your own path just aren’t working for me here, not when the story is so unclear about what any of that amounts to in this world. It’s just a bunch of wise-sounding mumbo-jumbo — on a plot level Salem told Ozpin all this first-hand. What he didn’t experience for himself, of course. Salem’s ending is in reference to her turning into a grimm queen hell-bent on destroying everyone in an effort to die.

Or, to put it another way, Salem’s ending is being willing to sacrifice whoever is necessary to get what she personally wants.

Except that’s no longer a trait instilled in her from the grimm pool, or developed over years of torturous immortality thanks to the Gods’ actions, (did she really write her own ending, or was that forced on her by two all-powerful beings?), or even something Salem embraced sometime during the start of the series. It is, apparently, a perspective she’s been willing to entertain since she was sixteen-years-old while being almost entirely untouched by the world outside. It’s who she is.

So Salem didn’t write her story, her story was already written within her from the get-go. For a franchise supposedly about choice, RWBY keeps pushing predeterminism a lot.

Ozpin finally ends with, “Because in real life... there is no happily ever after” and I likewise end this recap with a (mental) scream of rage because Ozpin would never say that. Literally! I can prove it! Here’s the original ending:

“If you look far enough ahead, even a story with a happy ending may reveal itself a tragedy, and heroes may turn out to be villains. Hopefully, the reverse is also true.”

That’s WAY more optimistic. Yeah, the guy who has been through hell and back would be grappling with how the Happy Ending isn’t all it’s cracked up to be (something introduced at the very beginning of the series via Ruby and Blake’s conversation), but Ozpin also has enough faith to realize — and teach — that things can always circle back around. It’s always darkest before the dawn and all that. Who is this super pessimistic guy who writes off happiness as a whole? That’s not Ozpin. Ozpin has been fighting for over a thousand years, buoyed by his belief that people are inherently good and a better future is always achievable. Ozpin thinks back on the horrors he’s experienced, all the terrible mistakes he’s made, and still manages to muster up a smile for his students. Ozpin was betrayed, dragged through his trauma, assaulted, dismissed, and still arrived to save his friends because he cares, even when no one else does. Miss me with this shadowed, nihilist wannabe ending on a sour note. To me, that line alone is proof that there’s little thought going into these shorts... which is a damn shame considering that Myers’ book already did it better.

Yeah, this recap took me forever and that’s largely due to the hard-to-explain problems throughout: frustrating enough to warrant inclusion, but messy enough that they’re not easily picked apart. Hopefully most of this made sense and if not? I can still happily hang this recap on the meta wall and never look at it again. Cheers to that🥂

***

Lucifer_Crowe. “We are E.C. Myers, Eddy Rivas, and Kerry Shawcross...” Reddit, 15 Dec. 2021. https://www.reddit.com/r/RWBY/comments/rh2c8w/we_are_e_c_myers_eddy_rivas_and_kerry_shawcross/hoowvzv/?context=3.

#rwde #rwby #mymetas #rwby: fairy tales

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astaroth1357 · 4 years

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The Obey Me Cast on a Camping Trip (Part Two: The Undateables)

This post is split in two due to length (I had too much fun again…) For the Brothers, please click HERE!

Intro:

Another day, another team building activity between the demons and the exchange students. It was Diavolo’s idea to go on a camping trip to the human world (because of course it was), and there were very… mixed responses. That sentiment wasn’t helped when he refused Lucifer’s insistent pleas to just purchase cabins for everyone to stay in. Oh no, the Demon Lord wanted to rough it out in the wilderness, and now everyone else was getting dragged along with him…

Wonder how that turned out?

Diavolo

He was soooo excited to get to experience camping! He had been asking the MC about human camping trips for about a week before making the announcement and he was pumped!!

Barbatos chauffeured him to the campsite in his own car (of course) but he insisted on taking every roadside, touristy stop they came across which doubled the drive time considerably…

He wanted to help everybody set up the camp but Barbatos and Lucifer were having none of it… So he took pictures and offered moral support instead! Good work everyone! 😁

He had his own tent about the size of a small house (ngl it took Barbs and Lucifer about a half hour to set the whole thing up). Barbs even somehow managed to pack a collapsible desk in there for him so he could still work… greeeat…. 🙄

Diavolo wanted to try everything. Literally everything. The man even traded his uniform out for full on outdoors gear, right down to one of those floppy fishing hats with the tackle stuck to it.

Politely insistently asks that Lucifer does things with him. The MC could come along as well (and in many cases Luci begs them to do so) but he wants to get some bonding time in with his best friend!

Unfortunately for Lucifer, Diavolo would get sidetracked quite a lot… Which is how he ended up having to physically steer his Lord out of harm's way more than once…

At one point while hiking, Diavolo was so distracted by taking pictures that he nearly walked right into the path of a passing bear and her cubs. Lucifer had to tackle him down into some bushes until they went away... His brothers teased him mercilessly when they heard about...

Dia also loved the camping food quite a bit. He's never gotten the chance to cook his own food before, even if it's just marshmallows over a fire, so it was all a brand new experience for him! S'mores are now declared a human world delicacy.

Man had the time of his life! He'd love to do it again, hell, maybe even make it a yearly event! (Few of the brothers share his sentiment, but hey, it pays to be King 😏)

Barbatos

If his Lord orders it, then he follows. He'll just have to double check that everyone is prepared for the occasion…

Drove Diavolo there with the patience of a saint (while also, like, being the exact opposite of that). Had it been anyone else in the car, they might have told him, "No, we can't stop for pictures of every moose you see," but Barbs is as accommodating as he is loyal.

It was pretty much all on his shoulders to direct the others when setting up camp. Lucifer would claim it was his, but let’s be completely honest here, Lucifer can't order Barbs to do shit.

Naturally, he had his own tent close to his Lord, more modest in comparison, but big enough to hold a majority of the belongings and gear Diavolo had requested.

He also managed to bring a almost fully functioning kitchen setup for him using magic, minus a working oven by Diavolo's instruction. If he wanted a heat source, he had to use the campfire and he found the challenge intriguing…

For once in his extended life, Barbs had to do some trial and error in the kitchen. As it would turn out, fireside cooking can be a little difficult to master, but by the end of the trip he could still somehow dish out four course meals without so much as a sweat (according to the MC the secret was tinfoil and cast-iron cookware… who knew?)

When he isn’t prepping their next meal (which let’s be honest, with Beel on the trip that’s a constant activity) he’s guarding the food from Beel and Solomon…

The sorcerer wanted to help, but Barbs has already learned the hard way that if he so much as pokes a dish its flavor is ruined… It’s enough to make him wonder if it was a curse laid on him at some point…

Watching Barbatos deny Solomon becomes a pretty funny routine in and of itself. He’s not above just smacking the man’s hand away with a wooden spoon if it gets too close. Barbs doesn’t play in his kitchen. Back off. 😠

Barbatos is happy with the trip so long as the young Lord enjoyed himself. If that’s the case, and it was, then he’d happily do it again if asked… not that he’d have much of a choice anyway.

Simeon

Simeon was familiar with the concept of camping, he’d written about it in his stories, but he’d never actually done it himself… He had hoped it'd be an interesting experience! And uh… it was that from the very start…

Purgatory Hall got its own car and Solomon was put in charge of driving… But no one mentioned that he drives like a complete maniac. Speed limits, stoplights, even the ROAD ITSELF be damned. Solomon drives in a straight line from point A to point B and if there’s anything in the way he’ll just use magic to get around it…

It’s safe to say that by the time he and the others got to the campsite (which was significantly quicker than the rest) the angels weren’t in the emotional state to pitch tents… He and Luke just waited for the others to catch up while praying and praising the solid ground beneath their feet…

He shared his tent with Luke and didn’t mind at all. It was probably for the best anyway because the little angel was scared of human world predators like bears and wolves coming for him in the night… Poor boy…

Simeon took to hiking quite a bit. Going out and exploring the area around the campsite made him feel invigorated! The forests were beautiful and it gave him ideas for a bit of a guilty pleasure he's been debating on writing, "The Tale of the Lonely Prince." 🤭

It was on one of those trips that Simeon discovered human world creatures love him. Pretty much all of the wildlife gravitates towards him like he's a Disney Princess.

At one point he came back to camp riding on a moose with birds chirping on his new friend's antlers. He offered to take the MC out for a ride, but the brothers threw a fit about it…

He WAS able to get a couple more wrangled for Diavolo, who naturally dragged Lucifer along (though he clearly didn't want to touch the thing).

The three ended up getting into a mooseback race because Diavolo wouldn't let Lucifer take the lead. He was glad to see Luci enjoy himself for a change! (It helped a lot that he won of course 🙄😏)

All and all, Simeon had a great time. Maybe he should ask the MC to show him more human places… But he's never getting in a car again. Pardon his language, but fuck those things!!!

Luke

He doesn't know what's worse… being out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of demons or the absolute insanity that was the "drive" down… 😣

He spent the entirety of Solomon's Magical Ride of Nightmares clinging to Simeon or the armrests for dear life. He swore his entire life flashed before his eyes, can angels even have heart attacks???

Stayed right next to Simeon when they finally pulled themselves together enough to leave the car. He was so happy that Michael didn't see any of that… Who knew human transportation was so horrifying…???

His saving grace (literally) was getting to share his tent with Simeon… After Solomon told him that bears sometimes get curious and ransacked campsites, he clung onto the older angel like a protective charm.

...Whiiiich he wasn't too off about actually after he saw Simeon playing (yes PLAYING) with the human wildlife… Simeon had to introduce him to some of the nicer animals for him to eventually get over his fear and venture out past the campsite.

Luke loved to swim in the lake or river with MC and the others. The MC found a sturdy branch where they set up a rope swing and the little guy amused himself for hours!

Sometimes he'd watch Barbatos prep and cook using the campfire… He didn't even know you could make lasagna in a Dutch oven…

At one point the MC convinced him to go with them and the twins on a particularly long hike…

He got tired halfway through and Beel offered him a piggyback ride, but of course he'd NEVER let himself be that close to a demon!! (Just kidding, poor boy was so tired he climbed onto Beel's back and held on the a kola until they got back. Then he jumped off to save face)

He had a better time than he thought he would, but still doesn't want to go camping with demons ever again. (He and Simeon also begged Lucifer to drive them back instead of Solomon so the brothers' van was pretty much a clown car on the return trip).

Solomon

Solomon hasn't been camping (for enjoyment) in quite a while, so when the prospect came up to do it with the MC and the other students he was intrigued...

When Simeon asked he knew how to drive, he said yes. He knows how to start a car, put it into motion, steer, and then come to a stop. That's all driving is really. 🤷‍♀️ You can't blame him for not memorizing all the rules, he's been traveling by portal for decades!

Was pretty confused why his angel friends fled the car so quickly... He got them there in one piece, after all. 😕🤷‍♀️ He put up their tents himself since they were too busy thanking their father then made a magic barrier around the site for protection purposes.

He and the MC both have their own tents, of course his is enchanted to be a lot bigger on the inside than it is on the outside, but he's only let the MC in on that little secret in case they want to visit… 😏

When everyone else finally arrived, Solomon was happy to help the MC introduce the wonders of the human wilderness to their companions! Including the breathtaking vistas, beautiful flora, bitter temperatures, man-eating predators, waters filled with disease… Hm? Oh, Luke won't leave the tent now…? Whoopsie.

Solomon kept himself occupied on the trip the best way he knew how… relentless trolling (particularly of Asmo and Barbs because they're used to his shit).

He'd alternate between poking fun at Asmo for the almost ritual length routines he was going through to try and save his looks to genuinely trying to encourage him and downplay the severity of the downgrade...

Meanwhile he was bound and determined to serve at least one of his own dishes during the trip (but Barbatos had banned him from the "kitchen," the food tent, and even the spoons...)

Diavolo, nice guy that he is, eventually made Barbs relent and let Solomon cook for ONE night… It went as well as to be expected. (They sent Solomon to grab more supplies then everybody took turns washing their mouths out with lake water... Diavolo apologized profusely, he had no idea...).

Solomon was confused why the angels would rather squeeze themselves in with the brothers than ride with him back but he wasn’t upset about it. That meant he could make a few extra stops without anyone complaining! He knows a guy in New Orleans he’s been meaning to see again… Luke and Simeon can wait a little for their stuff, right?

Click HERE for Part One. Check out my Masterlist for more!

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me undateables #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me luke #obey me solomon #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #obey me imagines

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simpsiren · 4 years

Text

the lookalike;

Huang Renjun, astronomy major. He’s your typical college boy. Responsible, in between average to top in the smartness level, outgoing but wouldn’t bother talking to you if you never approached him. He is however playful and gets violent with his friends very often, verbally and physically. But you wouldn’t know he’s that type of person at first glance. He’s simply soft and kindhearted— if you don’t push his buttons like how his friends do 24/7.

description. What’s worse than having to go though the sufferings of a broken heart from my relationship of five years? Having to get myself tangled up with another man right after, when all I wanted was to sit alone, carry myself through the pain. But when mindless words start to slur out when you’re wanting to simply be done with life, you can’t really do anything about it, now can you? It depends on how the person you said it to interpreted it. And my words just had to be taken seriously.

genre. strangers to lovers, fluff, angst

word count. 8k~

!as they should masterlist!

Tears had been blurring my vision for who knows how long now. I didn’t even know where I was walking. I simply let my legs carry my body, letting it have a mind of its own and deciding where to take me. I wanted to escape, go anywhere but here. Where he lived, where he worked, where he went to school.

Right, on a Sunday night, here I was, walking like a lifeless corpse that just had its life being sucked out when I got dumped from my five year relationship. Of course my heart was shattered into pieces. But right now I didn’t have the energy to pick up each shard that fell. It would take forever. I’d start, just not tonight. I’ll pick myself up quick. All I needed was a night’s rest.

Surprisingly enough, I ended up at a café, or bar. Seemed to be both. Either way it was the only shop which had its lights shining on the pathway through the glass windows that gave me a full view of the inside. There weren’t many people inside, perfect place for me to cry out in one corner. Not that I’d be embarrassed if people were to look at me. I wouldn’t be coming here again anytime soon.

I silently pushed open the door and tiredly slid myself through, not even having the energy to push open the door fully. I scanned my eyes across the place, spotting a table made for two at the very corner, where it was slightly dim due to how deep in it was. I chose to seat there. I threw myself onto the seat and slumped my back into it, letting my body loose and have my head dangle feely looking down as I closed my eyes for a brief moment, thinking “Just how low do I look right now?”

A cough was suddenly heard from beside me in an attempt to get my attention. I shot my head up so fast it almost gave me whiplash. “Do you want to buy anything?” I blinked at the man before me twice. Once at his face that I couldn’t get a clear view of, and the other to his hands that held a notepad. I rubbed my forehead, softly answering, “Is there anything that’s like alcohol but isn’t?” I could tell he already looked confused at my request, his head tilting to the side a few degrees. “I’m sorry?”

I waved a lazy hand at him. “Um...” I trailed off, trying to think of something. “You know what? Get me anything that’ll knock me out in two shots.” I blankly said, giving up on even having to choose what drink I wanted. He hummed and downshifted his head. “Alright.” He walked away soon after. But I knew he had his eyes scanning me up and down for a brief moment, inspecting me before doing so. I sighed and looked out the window. I closed my eyes, the tears falling down yet again. I didn’t bother to wipe a single tear away, admitting and claiming that they’re all mine despite knowing my pride would have never allowed that.

After a few minutes, I was shocked by the knocking on the table. I fluttered my eyes open, seeing the reflection of me as well as the man from just now standing behind me with a cup in his hand. I slowly turned around, my eyes trailed from his shoes all the way to his hair. He seemed to have a small figure. But with that face I’m sure no one would even care about that. He cracked a soft smile and placed the cup down on the table. I looked down into the cup, the reflection of myself making me scrunch my nose. “I didn’t order tea.” I whispered, pointing my finger at it yet keeping my head down.

“But you look like you shouldn’t be drinking.” I tilted my head up to look at him, who had his arms folded and weight placed on one leg. “Do I look that bad?” I gulped, running a hand through my hair with a tired sigh that could go on for three days. “Rough night?” He asked, suddenly pulling the chair from the opposite side to take a seat in front of me. Pulling himself closer to the table, he raised a brow, waiting for my answer. I opened my mouth, yet words couldn’t come up as I looked around the place. “S-Should you even be sitting right now?” I asked with concern.

He shrugged and glanced at his watch for a brief moment then proceeding to lean back into the seat. “Well I can rest unless more customers come, which I highly doubt. It’s Sunday after all.” I chuckled at the last part, nodding my head agreeably. “Yeah... Sunday night.” I reminded myself mentally that I had classes tomorrow. I could only hope I’ll wake up in time. Silence pursued its course between us, with me having my gaze down to the cup of tea, for some reason I wasn’t feeling the urge that I got when coming here. I just wanted to sulk and sink deep into my despairs.

“Drink. You seem to need it.” I sighed quietly and picked up the cup, hands shaking unintentionally from my weakness as I tried to steady my hands more and bring the edge of the cup of my lips. I carefully took a sip. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. It was just right. It was the one thing in this cold night that had brought some warmth down my throat and to my heart. Temporary warmth. I could deal with that. “What’s your name?” I suddenly questioned. I figured if he’s going to sit here longer and he needed to then it was best to start a conversation.

“Huang Renjun. Second years in college.” The familiarity of the name rang through my ears. I narrowed my eyes on him, now trying to take a better look at the features of his face. My eyebrows furrowed for a moment as I leaned back and closed my jaw shut before it had time to drop to the floor. “Renjun?! The Huang Renjun?” I echoed, blinking my eyes rapidly as if all the tiredness had escaped my body. He chuckled softly and nodded. “Took you long to recognise me.”

I laughed in embarrassed and hummed. “Sorry about that. Guess I really am not feeling well.” I ran a hand down my face, shaking my head. “I didn’t know you work here.” I began. “I didn’t know you worked at all.” Renjun leaned forward against the table, shoulders raising as he did so. “You never knew because you never been off campus before, now have you?” Renjun tilted his head, a playful and teasing smile dancing on his lips. I frowned. “My major’s a lot harder than yours.” I feigned exasperation and rolled my eyes, making him cover his mouth politely as he laughed.

“I know.” Renjun muttered. “So?” He asked. I raised a brow in a questioning manner. “So what?” Renjun smacked his lips, raising both eyebrows at the same time and letting then fall back down. “So why did you suddenly come here this late into the night looking like a wreck?” I breathed out a short laugh, one that wasn’t suppose to send humour but more of disappointment and sadness. If I had the opportunity to talk it out, might as well take this chance to, no matter who it was I was telling it to. “I broke up with my boyfriend, Kim. Last night.” I gulped. “Well, it’s more of him dumping me.” I shrugged weakly.

Renjun’s silence made me observe him for a moment. He was expressionless, but his eyes were sending feelings of pity, one that I for one didn’t want to see, but I can’t avoid it anyway. “Why did he dump you? Did you do anything wrong?” I scoffed loudly, glancing sideways before laughing in amusement. “What are you, my therapist suddenly?” I asked, expecting him to ask for full details on the whole story. Renjun curled the side of his lips upwards ever so slightly. “I don’t mind if I get paid.” I laughed and shook my head, taking another sip of tea. The weight in my body was slowly lessening the more I talked to Renjun, my body began to feel lighter. I know a feeling like this would only be for tonight, just having to sit here and have a normal conversation about my situation without falling apart.

I proceeded to tell the story from square one, how I met Kim, to going sidetracked a little by describing how perfect of a boyfriend he was but I was simply blinded by my own love for him to realise his toxicity until the very end. Bad choice, of course. “And look at where that got me.” I closed my eyes for a short moment, my memories with him flashing by like a movie tape. It disgusted me, but it also made my head ache in many ways but one. I hated it. “It doesn’t seem that bad.”

I widened my eyes, surprised at his reply. “What do you mean?” Renjun ruffled his hair casually as he said, “You got to meet me.” Renjun played a confident smile, which only seemed to be charming. Though Renjun and I never met in a proper setting, we were mere acquaintances, one that would see each other on campus often and nothing more. But this was the start of our relationship.

We talked for hours, I had forgotten about time completely. Topics changed like flickering lights and varied in the most weirdest ways possible. I slowly grew tired, my brain working slowly with its gears getting weaker. I had my head on the table, the emptied cup pushed to the side against the clear window. I had my eyes half opened at this point, I wasn’t even able to think straight as if I actually did get drunk. “Do you want to help me?” I softly murmured. Though I think it was only for my ears, it was loud enough for Renjun to let out a, “Hm?”

“Help me...” I whispered, slightly louder this time. “Help me get this shit show over and done with.” I couldn’t hear his reply, but I was fast asleep the second after.

“I said that?” I asked, not sure if I was directing it to myself or to Renjun who was just coming with two cups of coffee, so surprised that I leaned back with a hand to my chest. Renjun sat down and nodded his head. “How could you not remember? It’s not like you were drunk last night.” I scoffed softly. “From how sad and dead I was last night, it kind of felt like I was.” I whispered, quickly taking a sip of the coffee in hopes to got myself to wake up a little.

My mood had still been feeling the same as last night the moment I woke up today. My heart was still heavy, it didn’t allow my body to loosen up. I was dragging my existence from place to place I was that lifeless and mentally drained from that one night my heart fell apart. “Well first order of business. No going to classes for a week.” I almost wanted to drop the cup then and there, but I held it firm and place it down, the noise from it making contact with the table loud and clear. “Woah I’m sorry what?!” I asked in shock.

Renjun’s expression was unbothered by my reaction. “You heard me right.” Renjun took a sip. “You’re physically and mentally drained. It doesn’t take a sidekick to see that. So just rest for awhile, and we can hang out in the meantime.” He shrugged and leaned back into his seat, shoulders relaxed and calm. “Don’t you have classes too?” Renjun smiled gently. “Haechan told me you guys start your lectures after mine which means I can still go without missing any.” I lips formed an ‘O’ as I nodded slowly. How did he know Haechan? That I questioned mentally. I did know Haechan practically has connections with the whole school somehow.

“But if you insist on going I don’t mind waiting for you at your department building.” Renjun raised his eyebrows. “But don’t take the lectures seriously for awhile, you know? Loosen up a little. Cheat, steal notes or something. Just have time to rest. The breakup really has hit you hard, huh?” Renjun eyed me up and down, not in a scrutinising manner, but it really did felt like one with a gaze like his. “Woah are you seriously telling me to do things you would never do?” I gasped loudly. Renjun bobbed his shoulders. “I mean I would do it if I wasn’t keeping my good student image. But I don’t see you having that much so.”

I rolled my eyes. “Rude.” Renjun chuckled. “I should be going for class now. See you at four?” Renjun quickly stood up, grabbing his bag from the other chair next to him. After he reassured that he had everything with him, he made eye contact with me. “See you.” Renjun downshifted his head, his lips curling up to form a smile that not going to lie, looked cute. But I quickly shook that thought out of my head before it could get any deeper.

The day went by. All I had my mind on was my ex, but my focus was slowly shifting to Renjun as time passed. Why did I even meet him in the first place? What was the purpose of someone who was of no significance in my life would suddenly be playing a big role in me wanting to get over my heartbroken phase? Questions like these circled and wrapped itself around my brain. So much so that I couldn’t properly concentrate during the lecture, which had me asking Haechan for notes just like how Renjun suggested me to.

I was making my way to the entrance when I saw Renjun standing right outside at the side. His hair captured the sunlight beautifully and it took him zero effort to have him noticed by the girls who were walking out. I had to admit he was attractive, now that I was not blinded by the fact I always thought my ex was the most perfect human on earth. I made my way to Renjun. But surprisingly, Haechan made it before I did, shocking the life out of Renjun with a rough pat on the shoulder. “Renjun!” Haechan shouted.

Renjun let out a disgusted expression and pushed Haechan away from him. I walked up to them, with Haechan surprised to see me standing before them while Renjun greeted me with a welcoming smile. “I swear I will throw a chair at you if you stop being annoying.” Renjun said as he adjusted the straps of his bag on his shoulders. Haechan leaned back and gasped loudly, giggling right after. “Like hell you would.” Renjun shot him a scary glare, one that even made me scared and intimidated by him. Haechan grew quiet instantly. “So uh why’s she here?”

Haechan took a step back when Renjun went towards me to stand by my side. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his black jeans casually. “I’m going to hang out with her today. So don’t bother calling me out tonight alright?” I turned my head to look at Renjun, who had a cheeky smile on his face. Haechan frowned and let out a whine. “You promised to join the party!” Haechan folded his arms. Renjun lifted up his shoulders. “Sorry.” Haechan huffed loudly and walked away.

“If you have a party to get you don’t need to-” “It’s fine. Really. They aren’t my thing. I usually study.” Renjun flashed a reassuring smile. He walked forward while I was still standing still, probably feeling surprised that I was even about to go out with someone I’ve never interacted before until now. “What are you waiting for?” I looked up from the random spot on his back I was staring at and blinked my eyes rapidly. With a slight shake of my head, I smiled amicably and walked up to him after adjusting my bag that was slung on one shoulder.

“Wait where are we going?” I questioned as Renjun and I took slow strides on our way out of campus. Renjun glanced up to the sky thoughtfully before looking back down and meeting my eyes. “Not sure, actually. Any ideas?” My lips formed a thin line. “Can we head to a library?” Renjun made a disgusted face, tongue sticking out slightly to add on. “Library? So you’re the kind that studies your problems away or what?” He feigned exasperation. I rolled my eyes and chuckled softly. “I mean... well that’s part of it. But I want to find a book to read too.”

Renjun shrugged casually. “If you want a book we can buy one from a bookstore.” My eyebrows go up, eyes narrowed at him. “Buy? Does it look like I have money?” I said, moving my hand up and down my outfit as if that even gave him an idea of how broke I was. “I could pay. If you promise to read the book, that is.” I scoffed and waved his words away. “Ah please. I can finish a book within a week if I truly like it. And trust me, I know when a book catches my attention.” I folded my arms confidently and I fought back.

“Bookstore it is then.” Renjun announced with a nod of his head. Though it was silent on our way there, I didn’t mind it. It wasn’t the kind of silence that breathed down our throats and would force us to let out a word at all. Comfortable silence, was what I’d describe our trip. We finally arrived, the name of the bookstore sitting above the door with a sign that said the shop was opened on the clear glass door. I took a peek inside for a moment. Though I’ve never been in quite some time, it didn’t seem to change much. Renjun was quick to open the door and almost letting the door shut. He was able to notice it and open back the door for me to enter. I smiled and looked to the floor as I walked in.

My gaze lifted itself from the floor and to my surroundings, which is basically shelves and shelves of books with two display rectangular tables in the center. I looked above the bookshelves, seeing the labels of the different genres. I instantly took quick steps to the fantasy books. “So you read fantasy?” Renjun said in an unusually low voice, adding on was his close presence behind me which could’ve made my breath hitched in my throat if I didn’t hold myself up. “I used to like romance. But the shit in romance novels never happen.” I picked a book off the shelve that seemed to have an interesting title. I flipped to the back and ran my index finger down the synopsis, quickly scanning through.

“It’s all... fake.” I whispered in the end, my voice was barely audible at the mention of ‘fake’. Renjun hummed and stood beside me instead of behind. With clasped hands behind his back, he scanned hus eyes over the bookshelf, head turning along while he did so. “Fantasy is fake too. They’re called fiction for a reason.” Renjun commented, which made me frown slightly when I realised what he meant. “I was just referring to the romance ones. Just too good to be true. And...” I lips formed a thin line as I exhaled sharply. “You can easily get sucked into holding the highest of standards without realising how harsh the real world is.” I forced a smile, looking at Renjun as I shoved the book I skimmed through back into its place, keeping my eyes on him.

I walked down to look through more books, Renjun would either be looking at me, peering with his head beside mine to read whatever I had in my hands at the moment, or skim through some books for himself. With quick glances I could tell he was only doing that out of boredom. “Okay, I have to choose one of these.” I muttered to myself, noticing how I had a large stack of books piled in my arms. I quickly eliminated most till I was down to two. Placing them both on the bookshelf, I nudged Renjun on the arm, turning his attention from the outside to me with a questioning hum. “Which one should I get?”

Renjun didn’t give a verbal reply, immediately picking one up to quickly read through and doing the same for the other. “Can I get one of the books? It seems interesting.” Renjun mumbled at he grabbed one of the books. I shrugged. “I don’t mind. But we’re switching books once we’re done with them. Got it?” Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. “Excuse me I’m the one paying for these.” I stick my tongue out like an annoying kid. “Yeah, whatever.” I turned sharply and headed straight for the counter. Renjun proceeded to pay and we checked out.

I never had an outing like this in a long time. My ex would simply drag me out to do other things that were out of my comfort zone, that were thinga I didn’t want to do. But being here, especially with Renjun, had made me feel that sense of belonging, one that I so dearly forgotten and missed. All I could think about now while laying in bed was Renjun, but I smacked my lips, forcing to shove the thoughts of him in the back of my mind and open the book to the first page.

“I’ve been here before. A lot of times, actually.” I said, with a finger to my lips. Renjun wanted to surprise me by taking me to a place to hang out, little did I realise it was the place my ex and I always went to. I turned to look at Renjun, who now had a frown on his face. One that so closely resembled Kim. It made my stomach form tight knots. “Is this where you’ve been with your ex?” As if Renjun read my mind, I slowly nodded. Rejun clicked his tongue and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. If this place brings you bad memories then-” I brought my hand up to hold his forearm, flashing him a gentle smile. “It’s fine.” I whispered, heading in.

We bought the picnic basket and headed out to the large field on grass, with flowers surrounding the perimeter. We chose a random spot, making sure we had a good view... of whatever we could see in the sky and sat up. We began to unpack and once we had all the food laid in front of us, we sat down next to the each other, legs both crossed with our knees touching. “So you wanted to take me out on a picnic?” I questioned in surprise, reaching out for a slice of watermelon. Renjun breathed out a short laugh and nodded.

It did make me think about how Kim and I used to come here a lot. It was our place. Though it pained my heart to be here, the burden somehow lifted itself with Renjun’s presence. His aura and being got me distracted. Indeed, whatever Renjun had always been doing, has helped me move on from Kim. We chat and ate laughing and coming up with random things to argue about for the fun of it. “Excuse me? I’ll have you know cats are the most adorable house pets one could ever have!” I shouted with force. “No! Dogs!” Renjun protested and the both of us laughed.

At a time like this, I realised just how similar Renjun was to Kim. The way he smiled, laughed. When I got home, the small decor we got from the picnic basket in my hands, I recalled the day I had with Renjun. How we got to see the sunset, the sky turning pink with streaks of orange, slowly turning itself into ink black to allow the night to settle in. My thoughts were at first innocent, but it was slowly growing dark. “Why do I see Kim in your eyes, Renjun?” I whispered to myself, thumb hovering over the decor. I couldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t even have a single thought of this.

Another time like this came about when Renjun took me out of a hangout to the arcade. He offered to pay, like he always did. And we played for hours. I saw the way he played with so much fire and passion, even if it was over a simple game of DDR or a shooting game. He’d do anything to beat me. He was competitive, just like Kim. “You didn’t have to go hard on me!” I whined, placing the gun down with a hard slam and a huff of annoyance. Renjun turned me around by placing both hands firmly on my shoulders. He took a large step in front, closing the gal between us till our chests touched, the strong sense of pulling him closer was there as he dipped his head down to meet my gaze.

“You mad, babe?” Renjun whispered, sending an electric shock throughout my body from the contact of his hands. That was the first time he called me babe. And that made a feeling in my body that I knew all too well. The butterflies fluttering in my stomach, how my lungs clenched at the close proximity of his face to him, yet I wouldn’t bother grasping for air, I wanted to stay like this— close. I looked up at him and narrowed my eyes. “Excuse you can I not be? You beat me at almost every game!” I rolled my eyes and jerked myself off his grip. I wanted to turn around but he was quick to have a hold of my wrist to pull me back into his embrace.

With his hand slowly gliding around my waist, he placed his hand there gently, somewhat leaving a gap between his hand and my skin but was still able to pull me close with the tug of my wrist. Renjun pouted deeply and shook his head. “Not true! I let you win the basketball game.” Renjun curved one side of his lips up in a defeating smirk. I stuck my tongue out in annoyance. “No you just sucked at playing basketball.” I teased, laughing loudly which made Renjun laugh as well, smacking my arm lightly. “Shut up.”

I looked into his eyes. In a busy place like an arcade, it’s as if everything else had been wiped out, leaving Renjun and I with pure silence in my head when we locked eyes. I was falling, trapped in his gaze. My feelings for Renjun only grew more and more when he began to express himself as more than just a friend. He was trying to get me. I knew he began to like me that day. When Renjun and I walked home, he had his eyes on the ground. We were silently walking, which felt unusual to me. He never seemed this quiet.

With a quiet sigh I looked to the side, looking at the street lamps that illuminated the pathway with an orange hue, with a cold breeze whispering through the trees. Suddenly, I felt a touch of electricity. I slowly looked down to my hand, seeing Renjun sliding his hand to meet my hand and threading his fingers between mine. The touch sent a shock through my veins. It felt like I was suddenly lit and energy coursing in me. “Is this why you were quiet this whole time?” I questioned Renjun, a small smirk of tease playing on my lips as I lifted our hands up in front of him.

Renjun widened his eyes for a split second and quickly shook his head. He scoffed in denial. “What? No.” He retorted back. “But it was smooth, wasn’t it?” Renjun asked with a light giggle. I breathed out a laugh and sighed loudly in satisfaction, tilting my head up to meet the dark sky of the night. “Tonight’s been fun.” I whispered softly. But I stopped in my tracks, making him turn his body to face mine. “But we’re going to study once we get on campus.”

Renjun gaped his mouth open in shock, eventually turning his shocked expression into a pitiful one while letting out a long whine. “Why?! I don’t wanna study.” I chuckled and brought my free hand up to play with his soft hair. “You don’t need to. Just accompany me while I study. I have a lot to catch up on.” I smiled softly, which he responded with a sweet smile back.

It didn’t need a confession. We didn’t need to say it out loud. We felt our longing for each other and it naturally began, more physical touching, calling each other babe. It was just the beginning of our relationship, but what confused me was how easy I was able to fall for Renjun, after trying for so long to get over Kim. Just what was it in me that had me make that quick switch?

As time went on and I got to spend more time with Renjun, my feelings for him spurred quickly. But I knew it was the wrong kind. It’s the one that held my feelings for Kim still. I just saw Renjun as him and wanted to get close to him for the sake of feeling the love again. “Fuck. I’m using him.” The realisation came quick, though it took me awhile to know. I might have noticed from the very start, but I chose to ignore it, thinking it wasn’t true. With this keeping me up all night and putting me in a bad place with my overthinking, I wanted to distance myself from Renjun for awhile, which in the end got me to continue with this lie.

“You good?” Renjun questioned. We were hanging out by the field of flowers, having a silent book readin session as I laid my shoulder on his. He probably noticed me staring off into the distance and haven’t read a single line on the same page for at least ten minutes. I shook my head slowly and forced a smiled, turning my head to look up at him. Trying to seem normal, I answered, “Yeah. Just stressing over an assignment.” I tilted my eyes back down to my book. I trailed off in my thoughts too much that I even forgotten when I was at in the novel.

I did what I only could’ve thought of, which only led to his stubbornness and determination track down why I’ve been avoiding him for an entire week.

“Open the door. I know you’re in there.” I woke up to Renjun’s voice and his violent knocking that shook me awake. I winced at the sunlight that went in through the window uninvited and clearly unwanted. It was too much light for someone who’s going through a confusingly hard time. I gulped and rose out of bed, slowly walking to the door when the realisation hit me. I had to tell him about it. I couldn’t avoid it any longer.

I slammed my palm hard on my forehead. Why was I even dumb enough to do this in the first place? I knew all too well he’d come for me eventually. What was the point of me running away to avoid my feelings? I breathed out slowly, wanting to steady my heart which had been pounding so hard in desperation to get out of my ribcage. After closing my eyes for a moment, I grabbed the door handle that was creepily cold to the touch and opened the door.

I looked at Renjun standing in front of me. He looked tired, as if he stayed up all night. He didn’t bother to look presentable with his messy hair, puffy face, eye bags as dark as the moon. He looked restless. This wasn’t him at all. He seemed out of place. He said nothing, simply walking into my room after shoving me aside lightly with his hand. I followed behind him, too scared of how he might react while he interrogate me.

Renjun went to sit at the edge of my bed. I took the chair of my study table and pulled it to seat in front of me. With my actions so uptight and out of place, I knew that he knew that something was wrong. Clearly wrong. I watched as Renjun closed his eyes, somewhat in a way to compose himself of whatever feelings he was having at the moment. But when he met my eyes, it was intimidatingly dark. He was staring right into my soul, possibly reading whatever’s in my heart.

He leaned forward and interlocked his fingers together in front of him. “An explanation would be nice.” He said in a monotonous voice. I wasn’t liking this one bit. Renjun was scary. Like there was a fire inside him that no one could put out yet he’s able to keep his tone raw and bare. “I...” I began to trailed off, trying to quickly form a sentence. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I tried to force myself to speak.

“I’m sorry.” I let out, looking down. With my head tilted down, my eyes looked to his again. And I could tell they were now filled with anger, and disappointment. “I know you are. But why?” Renjun asked again. I swallowed all my feelings down my throat in hopes that I won’t spill them out and cry while trying to explain. “I used you, okay? When I first met you, and we began to hang out, you just so vaguely resembled Kim and I...” The tears began to well up in my eyes. My vision got blurry and I lost sight of Renjun.

“I just thought I could get over him if I forced myself to fall for you.” I blinked my eyes, the tears giving in and streaming down my dried cheeks, wetting them with guilt and resentment towards myself. Renjun was sitting still in front of me. There was no expression change in his face, and that scared me even more. But what was said next, had my heart shattering even more than it did last time. “So I see there was no point in liking you in the first place.” Renjun stood up. But after he took one step, I quickly rose from the chair and grabbed his wrist, holding onto it tightly as if trying my best to hold onto his heart that could now slip away from my grasp at any second.

“What?” Renjun asked, a hint of annoyance shining through his tone. That simple word rolled hard off his tongue, and I knew he meant for it to slice through my sliver of hope. I feel the sting of the word, like a pinprick, like the word itself is trying to pop me the way it pops my thought bubble “My feelings are real, Renjun. None of it was fake.” I pleaded, holding myself back from shedding more tears. “You’re just contradicting yourself.” Renjun jerked my grip off him roughly, hard enough for me to stumble a step back in shock. My mouth was still agape, my brain trying its best to work fast on how I could make this even the slightest bit better. It’s as if the

But as soon as I saw Renjun taking his steps to my door, I knew there was nothing left for me to do. The door slammed shut, and he was completely out of my view. When he went away, for a long moment, I went empty too, like all of me just flooded out and disappeared. Then it hit me. Renjun wasn’t going to come back. He’s never going to talk to me again. I dropped to the floor as if all the life has been sucked out of me, the earth wanting to drain me of my ever happiness as punishment. It’s like the world went blank and still, and so do I. My chest is clenching tighter and tighter, suffocating my lungs and stopping me from breathing in air.

“Fuck you’re stupid.” I croaked out, my eyes shut so tight with my head hanging loose to face the ground in embarrassment. My heart pounded so hard I thought my bones might shatter. I could hear it in my eardrums as all the feelings that were pinching me inside slowly grew numb. My eyes were puffy and I was loosing myself in that moment. I risked everything I had with Renjun for the sake of my pride. And I’ll never know if I could ever overcome this swelling pain.

Weeks went by. I used to count how many days I went without Renjun, but I stopped. What was the point to that anyways? I guess it served me as a coping system to reassure myself that I could be well withhout Renjun. But I knew deep down I wasn’t. Not at all. The hours, minutes, seconds of ever day went by as if forever. And it hurt every time. I never got Renjun out of my mind, no matter what I tried to do. Study, go out for a drink, read. Nothing. Because it all related back to Renjun. He was so entangled into my life within that short time span that it felt almost impossible to do anything.

I would occasionally see Renjun walk on campus with his group of friends. He had the smile that he mentioned he’d only show to me, for me. I could hear his laughter down the hallway and my heart would break just a little more. It was hard. He was my only friend. And yet he’s better off without me, knowing he had others to go to. I was alone, and I had myself to blame for that.

One day, I couldn’t bare it any longer. I wanted to talk to him. In any way. I just needed a second of his time, of his touch. This afternoon after my lecture, I saw him walking alone on campus. He had his head held high and confident, occasionally greeting people he knew. The smile never left his face, and his hair captured all the sunlight as if it was all shining on solely him. I wanted to move, but something in me had my feet rooted to the ground. Perhaps it was me knowing that he was indeed better off without me, and I had to live with this weight in my heart.

“You’ve been staring at him for so long.” I startled awake from my trailed off thoughts when a voice sat itself low beside my head. I turned around, meeting Haechan’s face close to him. I leaned back from the sudden shock. “I know something’s wrong.” Haechan He shrugged in a blasé, god-could-care sort of way, knowing it would get me alert. “He told you, I suppose?” I whispered, looking down to my feet that missed their chance at carrying me to Renjun. Haechan scoffed, almost in a sarcastic manner. “He told me nothing. I’m just observant.” He corrected me with a professional sort of tone.

My eyebrows go up in question, but I soon gave a lifeless expression after. “It’s none of your business.” I was about to walk away when he prevented me from even taking one step with his grip on my wrist. I turned around to meet his eyes. For a moment it flashed pity. “Care for coffee?”

I gulped, my eyes never leaving the coffee that was in front of me, reflecting my terrible face in it that made me grimace at myself silently. I frowned, looking up to Haechan who was staring at me as if watching my every move with his lip cup resting on his lips. “What am I here for?” I finally asked after the long silence passed by. Haechan sighed for three days. “Don’t think Renjun has been well off without you.” He said straight up, no filter, no nothing. I stared at him, rendered clueless. I tried to sink in his words but I quickly got cut off when he continued with, “Trust me. I know Renjun my whole life. He’s putting on a show for you. Though you and I don’t know what he does behind closed doors. I know the way you currently view him is not him at all.”

Haechan’s words got me wanting to speak, but not a single word could leave my mouth. So many things came into my mind. So many questions I wanted to ask. But I guess the overload made my brain lag and unable to process anything but Haechan’s words. “How is he?” I managed to spoke, though it cracked for a moment and it was barely audible. “He acts fine around us. As if we don’t know him enough to know that he’s been ditching us to hang out with you.” Haechan chuckled lowly and shook his head. “If anything, he needs you to approach him. I mean I know he’d be doing it first if it wasn’t for his god annoying pride.”

Haechan leaned closer, with a mysterious gaze that pulled me in response, as if he wanted to tell a secret. “Whatever you two have going on, fix it. I don’t like seeing my friend put on a show for a girl. Make him happy again. And do whatever it takes.” Haechan rose from his seat, the screeching of the chair making contact with the floor as he pushed it back to allow himself to slip away from the table. He casually walked out, his footsteps sharp and precise and soon disappear. Bullets of Haechan’s harsh words buried themselves in my chest. But soon a coil of hope unraveled in my stomach.

I sat there, still in awe. How could I not believe Haechan’s words? He’s Renjun’s best friend. If Renjun really was going through a hard time, all the more I had to do something about it. I sighed, slowly changing my gaze from the random spot on the chair in front of me to my phone that sat quietly on the table. With a shut of my eyes, I reached for it, turning it on and going to Renjun’s contact. I never changed it. It was still ‘Annoying prick<3’ I breathed out a short laugh. My thumb shakily went to the call buttoned and hovered over it for awhile. I had no idea what I was going to do if he picked up. But I went for it anyway.

The ringing was beginning to haunt me by the fifth time. And just when I wanted to end the call, it picked up and I could hear Renjun’s shallow breathing through the speaker. “Hey.” He simply said. Hope provided a burst of warmth inside of me. “Are you free tonight...?” I questioned slowly with much uncertainty. A long pause went by. It was killing me. “Yeah.” Renjun’s short answers sounded normal. But something about it sent a cold chill down my spine. “Meet me at the park at 10. You know where.” I quickly ended the call and pressed the phone close to my chest. I was so nervous that I didn’t even get his confirmation that he’ll be there. Looks like I’ll be taking my chances like a real idiot.

That night, the cold seemed to be pinching my bare face. I sat there on the bench. At first my hopes were high and I was waiting with my back straight and shoulders back to give a good impression. But as hours went by as the temperature seemed to drop tremendously and I could feel my lips and face freezing up, I slowly slouched and huddled myself in a tight hug, claiming desperately for warmth. The only thing that was currently giving me hope was the bright moon shining its light on everything with the stars to accompany it with its little to no presence, yet still as prominent as the moon to me.

I wasn’t prepared for such a night at all, simply coming here in a hoodie and sweatpants. I bit my lower lip as my overthinking began to trail itself down a dark path. I swallowed down my hurt feelings, closing my eyes and simply wanting to take a break from all I had endured. I needed the rest. Suddenly, I felt something heavy draped over my shoulders, wrapping around my around. The action got me to hold my body still. But I managed to flutter my eyelids open and turn to look the one responsible.

“Renjun.” I softly called out. I cracked a weak smile. “You actually came.” “You dumb fuck.” Renjun’s words got my expressionless and tired face to make mold itself into a shocked one. He roughly placed his hands firmly on my shoulders and turned my upper body to face him. My eyes met his, and he was examining every inch of my face in worry. He cupped my cheeks in his hands, his palm welcoming itself with warmth. His gentle touching imbued with care was instantly recognisable. “How long have you been waiting out here?” Renjun’s voice was highly concerned.

“Not long.” I slowly replied. Renjun shook his head intensely and pulled me into his embrace. It was tight, yet not suffocating. It was one that’s all too familiar. “You idiot. Don’t you know how to determine when it’s finally time to go back?” Renjun whispered, his worrisome still obvious in his tone. I rest my head against his chest, his heart beating rapidly against my ear that was pressed right at where his heart was. Did he come running here?

“How can I? I know no bounds when it came to you.” I whispered, a teardrop instantly falling out of my already overflowing eyes. I pressed myself into him more, my hands eventually lifting themselves up on instinct to wrap around Renjun’s chest. Renjun placed his chin on top of my head, slowly tilting it down to plant a soft and feather-like kiss on the crown of my head. “I hate you. I still do. But I’m not worth enough to have you waiting out here in the damn cold.”

The ground between us feels a little more solid but the rest of the world shakes like it’s built on a high wire miles above the earth, crashing down and leaving only Renjun and I still standing, still here in this moment. My heart began to pick up its pace, with a heartbeat that threatened to tear through my ribcage from Renjun’s ever so careful touch. Renjun sighed and pulled away, my body still close to his. He gaze met mine and he never failed to have it locked on me. That action alone was enough to make me break out in goose bumps, to make my stomach crisscross into deep knots.

“Say that you love me.” Renjun was studying my eyes, as if looking into my soul for any more lies. But I quickly reverted it. “I love you.” I was sincere, from the bottom of my heart. And I tried my heart to have my eyes and voice tell it for him. Renjun hugged me close again and kissed my forehead, letting his lips stay there as it brushed lightly above my skin.

“I may be Kim’s lookalike. But I’m much more different when I’m with you.” I hummed in reply, my body going limp under his touch as I let his warmth surround me with his love that I truly missed.

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inkstaineddove · 3 years

Text

Man as Mirror

Ships: PruAus if you wish; background PruHun and FraAus

Characters: Roderich, Gilbert; mentioned Erzsi + Francis

Summary: Arriving home early from Paris, Roderich encounters a shirtless Gilbert in his kitchen, leading them to have a conversation Roderich could've gone without.

Vienna, 1774.

Once his carriage safely rolled to a stop, Austria stepped out of it and stretched. While even he could not deny the beauty of Paris, nothing pleased the heart quite like home. Servants rushed about him, ushering in his extensive luggage. Sidestepping away from them, he gazed up at the early-morning sky and allowed himself the luxury of taking it all in. The fading purple of night, the sun shyly poking its face out through his hedges, and the birds singing their daily hymns. Truly, there was nowhere quite like home.

Feeling sufficiently uplifted, he entered the home and mindlessly made his way up the stairs. He froze once his hand hovered above the doorknob to his bedroom. He had been burned once before doing this and while, thankfully, all other parties had been asleep, the event had caused him enough mental anguish to power him through another three decades. Still, the desire to change out of his travel clothes was nigh impossible to dismiss. Leaning an ear against the door, his decision was made for him when he heard something like a moan come from Erzsébet. Changing could wait.

All remnants of his good mood dissipated as he silently grumbled to himself about their guest. While it certainly came as no surprise – Erzsébet did this every time he was out of town and, honestly, Roderich had grown to expect it – but hearing them was different. Sure, he was no fool and they made no effort to pretend but having indisputable proof of their trysts was another. Roderich was cursed to have found a spouse and enemy full of cunning. He noted that, if the two of them ever put their powers to good use, he’d have to compliment them for it. For now, while he was their target, any appreciation was out of the question.

He felt his body yearning for caffeine and knew what the next item on his agenda must be. Still lost in his thoughts, he was completely caught off guard at the sight of a bare-chested Gilbert standing over the kitchen counter. It was comical, really, watching such a brutish man delicately pour cream into two dainty mugs, mentally measuring out the right amounts. Roderich stood back and watched the whole performance in domesticity, studying the man before him as he never had before. The way his back and shoulder muscles shifted with each movement; how he never slouched even when it would be far more comfortable to; how the whole time, he never stopped humming marches to himself.

This scene felt too intimate and Roderich understood that he was not its intended audience. What he needed most from his rival now was hostility and not misguided fantasies of marital bliss. He cleared his throat and stepped into Gilbert’s line of sight. “For me? How sweet of you.” He snatched the mug closest to him and added in his usual five spoonsful of sugar. He held up a finger when he felt Gilbert gearing up to protest. “She’s still asleep. Besides, no one likes waking up to cold coffee. It sets such a tone for the day.”

They settled into a tense silence, neither one wanting to acknowledge the other. It was childish, Roderich understood, but failing to will the other out of his existence was better than devolving into petty insults or a physical altercation. And, if he ignored all rational thoughts, he didn’t even care. When around each other, what else were they but ancient children? There was no reason for them to speak, why invent one?

“Paris again? How many times have you been there over the last three months?” There almost appeared to be a hint of affectionate teasing in Gilbert’s words.

Roderich turned to face him and was surprised to find Gilbert already observing him with mild interest. What a strange morning, one he wished he could find some escape in by returning to bed but felt certain would provide him with no real escape. If anything, the pair would wake him up and demand he leave his own damn bed for another room, that’s how selfish they were. Against his will, he felt himself noticing the strength in Gilbert’s body, all broad shoulders and muscle, the physique of the ideal warrior. All suddenly clicked on why Roderich always found himself flat on his ass whenever they’d begin to trade blows. His arrogance had blinded him to the fact that imperial power mattered little when they weren’t trying to kill each other on the battlefield. With biceps like that, his only chance to get the upper hand would be a swift kick to the groin, which even at his worst he was too principled to resort to.

He was brought back to reality when Gilbert began snapping his fingers in his face. “Jesus, has anyone ever told you how creepy that staring thing you do is? Like you were trying to undress me with your eyes.” He straightened up and shivered. “Commission a portrait, it’ll last longer.”

“Please, don’t be so crass. This,” Roderich flippantly pointed to Gilbert’s outfit, “is already enough. If I imagined you in any less, I’d be ill for at least a month.”

Gilbert smirked as he took a sip. “Funny, most people have the opposite reaction.” He leaned his hips back against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Now, how much more stalling can you do? What’s kept you in Paris so much? I don’t recall most treaties taking that much time to…hammer out.” He bit his lip, trying to suppress his snickering.

“It’s rude to talk work at breakfast.” Austria couldn’t be bothered to mask his irritation. Things such as ‘politeness’ and ‘civility’ always seemed to go to waste on Prussia. “And, if you’re fishing for what’s in our agreement, you’ll have no such luck from me. You’re wasting your time.”

“You think I give a damn about what’s on a fucking piece of paper? As if I’d be wasting my time on that. I don’t know who blabs more for the right price, your officials or France’s.” Gilbert’s demeanor was too casual. “Most of the time, we don’t have to go to those damn meetings anyways. We’re little more than decorations, the bureaucrats have everything written before they even breathe a word to us. We know that, they know that. There are always ulterior motives for our little business trips. Whenever I come here, I tell my current minder I’ll be off doing a diplomatic something-or-other in Vienna for a week, don’t wait up. They buy it even though they know the real reason I come to this shrine of gaudy antiques.”

“Your point, Gilbert?”

“My point is that you’re no different. Sure, you tell everyone that you’re renegotiating this or that little detail and maybe your officials believe it. And you tell it to Erzsi, and she believes it since it’s easier than thinking the husband she loathes so much is just as miserable as her. And maybe you believe it too because you have to lie to yourself first to lie to everyone else. But you can’t fool me.”

The whole time he spoke, Roderich was staring down into the contents of his mug. When all was quiet between them was when he finally looked up, laughing. “You must be desperate if you’re begging to get a morsel of gossip on me from me.”

Gilbert scoffed. “I’m not fishing for gossip. If I was, I would’ve gone through your letters while you were gone. And, before you ask, I’ve never done that. Not for lack of trying, I’m just not good at picking locks.”

The vein behind Roderich’s left eye began pulsating. He rubbed his temple gingerly, wincing. “I think I prefer it when you act like you can’t stand to be in the same room with me. Why the annoying younger brother schtick?”

“Maybe I’m making up for lost time.” For added emphasis, Gilbert made sure to loudly schlurp down a sip. Roderich’s wince at such a noise caused him to snort some coffee out his nose. Wiping it away, he grinned. “Or maybe I just want you to stop thinking you’re any better than me. Get you when you’re unguarded.”

“There’s a glaring hole in your plan. You’ve forgotten that I would never allow myself to be so vulnerable around you, no matter what time of day it is.” He mockingly shook his head, tutting. “I understand that, for now, we’re officially getting along just fine, but don’t mistake that for camaraderie. The first chance either of us gets, we’ll be back to stabbing each other in the back for sport. It’s who we are.”

“Well, aren’t you a pessimist.”

“Hardly. I simply know our natures too well,” Roderich sighed, growing weary at this line of conversation. “So, if this is only temporary, why should I feign tolerance towards you? Quite honestly, you’re not important enough to me for that sort of performance. Even if you were, you would see right through it. No, my energy is better spent on nobler pursuits.”

Gilbert had set his mug down, now drumming his fingers on the countertop. “I’m not asking for friendship; I’m asking for honesty.” He rolled his eyes with the temperament of a teenager. “Whatever. You got me sidetracked. It’s pointless anyways; you’re too delusional.”

“Excuse me?” That was quite the accusation from an unusual source. “At this point, you may as well come right out and say it.”

“If you insist,” Gilbert’s tone lilted up, songlike and jeering. “What you won’t admit is what I started this whole conversation with. All these trips to Paris, they’re not about work or diplomacy or any of your other shitty excuses. I know and you know that the only purpose is to blow a load in Francis’ ass and get away from your miserable life.”

Roderich set his mug down gently. There was no need for it to spill, to make a mess all over the clean marble. “For a moment, I’m going to ignore the vulgar insinuation you’ve made about my relationship with Francis.” He looked up, not breaking eye contact with Gilbert. “You know nothing about my life and my contentment with it. I understand that you are a deeply unhappy and wretched creature and why shouldn’t you be? There is nothing for you to go home and boast about, no shining accomplishments of yours not bathed in the blood of an innocent people, but do not project your misery onto me. For all your crowing to the contrary, we have never been, nor will we ever be, the same.”

Gilbert scoffed. “And everything you’ve ever done, there was only glory to be found there? All the princes you absorbed into your own lands, they were willing? The Bohemians, the Hungarians, they love your rulers? Are you pretending that only Russia and I invaded Poland because I remember seeing you at the table, carving out portions for yourself.”

“I’m not so naïve to believe I haven’t picked up the sword before. And, if necessary, I would again. You’d be wise to remember that.” Roderich straightened up, pulling his shoulders back. “But I’ve achieved just as much without force as with. The home we’re currently standing is a monument to such.”

“Please. It’s a monument to other people’s power and what it can get you. We don’t impact change, we just ride the waves of it,” Gilbert sneered. “This house is a prison for all who come in it. A golden cage is still a cage, Roderich, even for the largest bird.”

Roderich sighed with a roll of his eyes. “Mixing your metaphors doesn’t make you sound wiser, I’ve told you this before.” Needing caffeine for his growing headache, he took a sip. “I assume you’re including yourself among the captives.”

“To a degree. I can leave whenever I want – as you love to point out, I do have my own house – but where would one of us be without the other two? We are the protagonists of our own tragedy.”

“I sincerely regret that old king of yours got you into theater. Next you’ll be telling me how all the world’s a stage and we are but merely players.” When Gilbert opened his mouth to comment on that, Roderich held up his hand. “That wasn’t an invitation for your Shakespearean theories!” He rubbed the bridge between his nose, his prior weariness intensifying. “Why does it matter to you so much? Why must I parade my discontent as you and Erzsébet do? If you make your life’s purpose revenge against an unjust world – there you go! I admit it’s unjust! – you are sure to become more miserable than ever before. Perhaps you should learn that before it destroys you like one of your dear tragedies.”

“It matters because you act like you’re superior to us in every way when, really, you’re no different. And I don’t think I’ll ever understand that,” Gilbert’s voice softened with something akin to regret.

Something in his tone of voice, in his posturing, lit a fire within Roderich. His eyes hardened and he pressed his lips into a scowl. “Understanding is what you want? If it’ll get the defiling power of your pity off me, then so be it! I am better than you in every conceivable way. If I am to you but a mirror, peer close and you’ll realize it too. Where you feel trapped by the circumstances life has thrown us in, with a life that can never truly be our own, I’ve taken what you’ve failed to grasp. While you were slaughtering pagan Easterners in your little bog, I was here, accumulating wealth and power you’ve only fantasized about. I am the seat of an empire that you only have access to through Brandenburg.

“But those are meaningless things, aren’t they? Because here’s what really matters to you – the only thing, isn’t it? I’ve seen how you stare; I know that look – I’ve got what a childhood spent pining among the monks prevented you from getting. Did you ever mention it to them? How young love made that vow of celibacy torturous? How close did you come to breaking it? How many Hail Mary’s did they make you perform for every impure thought? Do you wonder what they’d think of you now, going through all this because you’re in love with your brother’s wife? Phrased just so, they would burn you at the stake again. Ah, but the hellfire is familiar, isn’t it?” Roderich glanced at the clock hanging behind Gilbert’s shoulder. “Erzsébet should be waking now. Go play domestic and bring my wife some coffee.”

Roderich forced himself away from Gilbert, who was left crestfallen with his wide eyes and gaping mouth. He had said enough, gloating would be overkill. He entered his study and locked the door. If there would be consequences for his monologue, let them come later.

The day was still new. Roderich stared out the window. Despite checking the clock, his adrenaline had made him forget the time. He approximated it was no more than nine. He began pouring himself a glass of brandy, but stopped, preferring to drink from the bottle. He gazed around the vast emptiness of the room beyond its sole occupant. He raised the bottle for a toast:

“To the prison of my own making. There is no place quite like home.”

#aph prussia #hws prussia #aph austria #hws austria #pruaus

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victoria-daydreams · 4 years

Text

Of Vices and Virtues

Chapter Seven: Specialty

AN: I meant to post this earlier, but I had errands to run and then I got sidetracked after that. Anyways, enjoy the chapter.

Word Count: 4.6k

Trigger Warnings: none

Taglist: @azayamari

Chapter Eight: Fun & Games

"You are nothing but a freak!"

"You would be nothing without me!"

"No one wants you!"

I sat up abruptly in my bed, a gasp loudly escaping my mouth as my eyes shot open, sweat caking my hair to my forehead and my clothes to my body. I threw the covers off of me, stumbling out of the bed as I went into a little state of panic before I registered where I was. I was in my cozy bedroom in Charles' mansion, illuminated by the outside sun that shone through the large window.

"He can't hurt you anymore, remember," I whispered to myself.

I slid to the floor, wiping the stray tears off my cheeks and took a couple of deep breaths, my shoulders no longer shaking as violently. I drew my legs up to my chest, arms hugging my knees and face resting on top of my arms. A hiccup escaped me from the hysteria that had seized my body momentarily as I felt the world right itself. I was okay. I was safe.

Ever so slowly, I came back.

I unwrapped my arms from my legs and slowly pushed myself up from the wooden floor and went to my bathroom. Along with the cold sweat, the remnants of my nightmare seemed to cling to my skin like particles of dirt. The sensation of warm water on my skin would hopefully wash away the memories.

Before entering the shower I stared at my reflection, my hand slightly trembling as my fingers grazed over the discoloration around my eye I had received two nights prior. Shaking off my stupor, I quickly went into the shower, shedding my night clothes as if they were on fire. The water stung where it hit the small cuts on my back, but I ignored the pain, blissfully soaking up the warmth it offered the rest of my aching muscles. I scrubbed myself down with soaps and oils, I washed myself at least five times, trying to rid myself of the unpleasant sensation plaguing me.

Five minutes later, I wiped the steam off that fogged the mirror and I found myself looking at a completely different person. Her eyes were bright and she looked comfortable and clean and...Happy. Very happy. She was smiling. I liked when she smiled.

It was my best defense to mask that I was not slowly, painfully slowly, beginning to lose my mind.

~~~x~~~

"I think today is going to well," Charles beamed, after breakfast, everyone had left the kitchen and the two of us cleared the table while everyone changed into their training gear. Ever the gentleman, after collecting all the dishes, he ushered me into the kitchen. "Ladies first," he gestured with his free hand.

"Is that so?" I asked, grabbing the pitcher of syrup and tray of butter. "Thank you kind sir," I returned with a slight curtsy, and a flirtatious smile thrown over my shoulder, as I proceeded towards the fridge. "What's the lesson plan today, Professor?" I joked, sticking the syrup and butter back in the refrigerator.

"Ha ha ha, very funny," Charles drawled, placing the dishes down on the counter and turned the knob to the sink and water streamed out, he placed his hand underneath the water waiting for it to warm up. He squirted soap into the dish filled sink.

I reached out to the dishes on the counter, and with a telekinetic tug floated the dishes over to the sink. The moving dishes startled Charles a bit and I laughed as I walked over to him, rolling my sleeves up.

I scrubbed the first dish, "I'll wash, and you dry," I instructed, handed him the first cleaned dish and a towel. We made skin-to-skin contact, the touch was electric and both of us flinched involuntarily. Charles almost dropped the dish. He looked over at me, just as I turned my head to look at him as well. A smile pulled at his lips and I laughed softly, shaking my head before turning my attention back to the task at hand.

I continued to soap the dishes and Charles dried them in silence. Tension hung in the still air. The only sound came from the running tap. After the eighth dish, Charles finally broke the silence.

"You know, I could set up a course for your telekinesis. It looked like you were struggling there to lift the dishes," Charles gibed with a smile, as he dried off the last dish.

I blinked at him, "Charles, if you weren't such a great masseuse, I would break each and every one of your fingers to show how wrong you are," I leaned back on the counter with a grin. "You are so lucky you have magic hands," I commented, shaking my head.

"Is that all I am to you?" Charles countered with a smile, "Just a pair of magic, telepathic hands that make you putty over my treatment of your feet?"

"Yeah," I answered bluntly. "Face it, pretty boy, this is all you're good for," I shrugged, his blue eyes amused as I raised an eyebrow at the telepath.

"Oh Claudia, love, how you wound me," Charles grinned, placing his hands over his chest where his heart is.

"Would you like a kiss to make it better?" I asked, a smile making its way on my lips.

Charles had a smirk on his lips as well as he moved closer to me, "Is that an offer?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

I bit my lip and smiled as I sauntered up to him, "It could be a promise," I whispered into his ear. "The world may never know," I added, backing away from him with a grin on my face.

~~~x~~~

Closing my eyes, I leaned against the railing, breathing in the cool air. A gentle wind started up and I welcomed it, leaning my face into the soft breeze. It wasn't until I felt another warm body near mine that I turned my head with a raised an eyebrow at the mutant next to me.

"Something I can help you with?" I questioned, focusing my gaze to Erik.

"Is that your favorite line to say?" Erik asked back, and I just smiled, quirking an eyebrow that expressed the answer of 'maybe'. "I want to try something, help me warm up my powers you could say," he began.

"Shouldn't you be discussing this with Charles?" I quizzed, my smile falling slightly as my eyebrows came together, confusion in my eyes.

"Charles, wouldn't exactly agree with what I have in mind. But I think you would," Erik answered vaguely.

"Erik, why do I feel I'll be the guinea pig of this experiment?" I replied wearily a small smile on my face.

"For what I want to try I will need you to trust me," Erik stated, staring deeply into my eyes.

"Trust," I repeated, lazily stretching out my arms in front of me. "That's the foundation of a friendship," I stated, mirroring his eyes. "Are we friends Erik?" I questioned, all joking aside my gaze sincere and intense.

A soft grin appeared on Erik's face and his hand appeared before my abdomen, "Claudia Walker, I would be honored to call you my friend, if you'll have me," Erik affirmed, I mimicked his motion and firmly shook his hand. "Even if you can be a royal pain," he finished smiling at me, as he let go of my hand and I lightly punched his arm. "Come on, follow me," Erik motioned leading us down the balcony steps and towards the back lawns.

"Alright Erik, color me intrigued. What is so special about this training that you needed to give me a disclaimer?" I questioned, crossing my arms against my chest as we came to a stop. Erik reached into his pocket and slowly pulled out a sleek gun and my eyes widened to the size of saucers. "Are you insane?" I exclaimed, my eyes bouncing from the gun to Erik.

"You have nothing to fear, I promise," Erik assured, as the unmistakable click of the safety being turned off was deafening to my ears.

"Easy for you to say, you're not facing the barrel," I quipped, moving my hands to my hips.

He aimed the gun towards me his eyes boring into mine, "Do you trust me?"

I lifted one hand from my hip and pinched the brim of my nose, "This feels like one of those moments where I know I should go with my gut feeling and say 'no', but I have this strange feeling in my heart..." I trailed off, taking a deep breath closing my eyes before opening them again to face Erik. Staring determinedly at him, I repeated his words. "I trust you Erik," his lips quirked up into a smile momentarily, and he nodded his head.

The tension in the air was monumental, his finger slid to the trigger. I knew he could stop it, hell, I could stop it, yet my heart still raced and my hands trembled. BANG! The bullet soared through the air stopping right in front of my heart. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. We both looked towards each other laughter flowing freely from our lips.

"I have to say Erik you sure know how to treat a girl shooting at her with a gun after proclaiming we're friends! I can't imagine what your wedding day would be like with your wife!" I teased smirking.

"Very funny! Don't you forget I could have easily let that bullet hit you!" Erik reminded smiling.

"No, I don't think you'd do that, you see I think I'm growing on you," I challenged, mirroring his smile. "Which is why I want you to shoot me again," I requested, a plan formulating in my mind.

"What?"

"And don't stop the bullet,"

Erik looked at me doubtfully, "You're not serious?" he asked, I could hear the doubt in his voice that matched his expression.

I returned his gaze, a smile lifted the corners of my mouth, "What's wrong? Scared?" I asked smiling, because now the tables were slightly turned. "It's not like you didn't just shoot at me only a minute ago," I reminded smirking, placing my hands on my hips.

Erik regained his stance, "Okay, but you asked for it. Ready?"

I nodded and braced myself. This worked almost every time, hopefully it would not fail now, or I would be dead. That would be unfortunate. The gunshot cracked through the the silence and flew towards me and I heard Erik hold his breath in anticipation. Just before the bullet hit me, I stuck my hand, a violet barrier formed in front of me, and the bullet bounced off of it and onto to the ground

Erik smiled, "Well, I know now not to get any ideas," he noted cheekily.

I dropped my hand and placed it on my hip, "Honestly Erik, I would be offended if you didn't attempt to try at least another time," I quipped, as the barrier vanished into thin air.

Just then I heard quick, light footsteps pounding on the gravel approaching us, Charles emerged from around the corner of the mansion.

"What are you two doing?" Charles asked, gasping for breath.

I quickly glanced at Erik before returning my stare to Charles, "Trusting each other," I answered simply, with a shrug.

~~~x~~~

Five minutes later, the three of us had entered the mansion. Erik and Charles went to the library to play a match of chess and plan out new training's for the younger mutants and I found myself in the kitchen facing the back of Moira, she was doing dishes, obviously just having finished eating lunch herself. I hadn't eaten since my time spent with Erik, and I could feel my stomach rumbling painfully.

"Afternoon Moira," I greeted, stepping forward to a cupboard and grabbed a cup.

Moira greeted me in return with a smile, "You gave Charles and I quite the scare when we heard gunshots," she stated still smiling, as she dried her hands on the towel next to the sink.

"Oh, come now, I can't take all the credit. Erik was the one that actually fired the gun," I quipped returning her smile, as I poured myself a glass of water from the sink.

I set the glass down on the island and moved over to the fridge, opening the door I stared at the array of food available, still partly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices I had. Grinning, I grabbed a jar of mayo and slices of ham proceeded to make a sandwich. As I prepared my meal Moira turned her back to me, focusing on her dishes. Which gave me time to observe her and the burning question that had been in my mind since we arrived at the mansion.

"Why is Moira still here?" I thought. "After everything she has seen I expected her to turn on us the way most humans do when they're scared,"

I decided to voice the thoughts that had been floating through my mind, "Moira...why are you still here?" I asked curiously, screwing the lid back onto the mayo and Moira's body stilled at my question. "I mean after what you saw with Shaw and the Hellfire Club, not to mention the destruction of the CIA facility, why did you decide to trust us and still want to work with us?" I clarified, as Moira turned to face me.

Moira looked at me like the answer was obvious. "I was being realistic, I mean there's good and bad in all of us. Mutant, not mutant, Black, White, man, woman–it doesn't matter," she answered.

"If you were realistic you would have picked up and left. No one in their right mind would stay and help us," I said bluntly, though my intention was not to be rude. "Hell, if I were a normal human, I'd probably wouldn't if we're being honest," I confessed, before going back inside the fridge, placing the mayo down.

Moira leaned back against the sink, The reason I trust you, the reason I trust all of you is because you're you," she answered sincerely, and I didn't detect any dishonesty in her statement.

"You know what? I respect that," I stated, nodding my head. "Thank you for your honesty Moira," I smiled.

She returned a smile of her own, "No problem. I just hope the feeling is mutual," Moira had said it jokingly, but it sounded more like a question.

"Of course I respect you Moira," I addressed her, flashing a smile. "Just as long as you don't get the romantic idea of you being able to help us will somehow make you the savior of mutants," I explained, and arched a challenging eyebrow.

Moira shook her head side to side vehemently, "Oh no, never!" she concurred.

"Good," I answered, and flashed Moira another smile.

~~~x~~~

I was bored. So very bored. I could envision what the other occupants of the mansion would be doing right now. Alex was probably storming around the mansion aimlessly, taking his anger out on whatever objects happened to be within kicking distance. Raven was staring at herself in a mirror, Hank locking himself up in the lab, Sean running off to probably get stoned. I could see Charles curled up in a chair reading a novel with a cup of tea and Erik was probably in his room plotting multiple ways to kill Shaw. And who knows what Moira does, maybe she reads files in her spare time?

I watched from the window as the rain fell, clouds had rolled in and the sky darkened making the once bright, sunny day, dreary. Then came the rain, the sky had opened up about an hour of ago and showed no signs of stopping. The rain fell steadily, drops running down the windowpane I was in front of. Music from the radio played softly in the background and it reverberated throughout the living room.

"So why exactly are we here?" Sean asked from behind me.

I twirled around lowering my knuckle from my mouth and faced the four mutants behind me, "I wanted to have some fun since the rain has canceled training for today," I explained, shrugging my shoulders. "Speaking of training, I've been wanting to practice an ability of mine," I added, walking closer to them.

"And what would that be?" the redhead boy questioned curiously.

"My ability to create illusions," I answered smiling. "I can change how something looks, I can make people see what I want them to, make them believe or feel something that not there or that's not true. I can make things appear out of thin air, although somethings are harder than others," I finished, interlocking my arms behind my back.

"Awesome! Show us!" Sean cried in delight, I smirked, this was gonna be fun.

"Who wants to be my guinea pig?" I asked grinning wickedly, and tented my fingertips together, tapping them lightly. I was met with silence. It wasn't surprising from my smile and sinister finger tapping that no one would want to volunteer. "Fine I'll pick," Hmm. Who shall I pick on? I looked at them until my eyes landed on my favorite red head and smirked. "Sean, get up," I ordered, pointing at him.

"Aw! What! Why me?" he groaned getting up as everyone else laughed.

"Because you were the one who was so eager to see my power," I responded to him. "Don't worry. You won't be the only one who's going to be my victim," I carried on still with a grin on my face.

"Victim?" he balked as everyone else shouted out a, "What!" or "Come on!"

I focused on Sean and trapped him in my stare and watched the blank look manifest in his eyes. I closed my eyes and thought about I wanted him to do for the next minute or so and implanted it into his mind. My eyes snapped open and he burst into motion. Sean quickly crouched down, placing his hands on the floor and began panting as if he were a dog. Everyone burst out laughing and I joined. He started spinning around as if he were chasing his imaginary tail. He then turned his attention to Raven. She let out a firm "No" before Sean pounced on her, grabbed her hand and started repeatedly licking it.

"EWWWWW! GET HIM OFF! GET HIM OFF!" Raven started screaming in a mix of disgust and humor as the rest of us carried on laughing.

Sean then whipped around to Alex, quickly crawling over before he started to hump his leg.

"OH MY-! CLAUDIA GET HIM OFF!" Alex yelled at me whilst he attempted to keep Sean at bay. By now Raven, Hank, and I were hysterically laughing, Raven even had tears streaming down her face.

Finally Sean backed away and sat back on his chair, the blank look coming over him before he was released from my illusion and he looked around at all of us.

"That was awesome!" he laughed. "Apart from the humping, obviously. Sorry man,"he apologized looking at Alex who looked traumatized, whilst everyone still laughed. "It was weird like I knew what I was doing but I couldn't stop it. And there was a purple tint over my vision. Does that happen every time you do that?" He asked.

"Yep," I told him as I sat back down. "Anyone up for another game?" I asked smirking, looking around.

"NO!" the four of them yelled in unison.

"Oh come on," I began. "I was thinking about a harmless game of hide and go seek," I stated, and everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "What do you say?" I asked.

"I'm in!" Raven cheered.

"Me too!" Sean agreed.

"Why not," Hank murmured.

"No powers!" Alex demanded, and I raised my hands in surrender.

"No powers," I repeated, nodding my head in agreement. "Not it!" I called quickly, standing up from my seat. Everyone followed my lead except for Alex because he called 'not it' too slowly. "All right Alex, you know the rules. Cover your eyes and count to fifteen since this place is so huge," I said, slowly backing away from him.

Alex grumbled under his breath and covered his face with his hands

"One," Alex began, and everyone in the living scattered in different directions.

"Two," As quietly as possible I bounded up the grand staircase and swiveled my head from left to right, looking down at each side.

"Three," I moved down the hallway and decided to hide in the last place that Alex would like. Feeling quite proud of myself I reached the door to my hiding spot. I opened the door without even bothering to knock, and spun around closing the door both quietly and quickly at the same time.

I leaned my head against the door momentarily and smiled, lifting my head from the door I turned and quickly glanced around the room. It was a lot like mine, the only difference being the strong masculine cologne that floated in the air. I spotted a cozy chair arranged near the fireplace and made my over to it sit down in the chair, only to be startled out of doing so by a familiar voice.

"Please don't," whipping around and looking down at the chair, I found one Charles Xavier sitting with his left leg over the right, where he had not been just seconds ago and grinning like a loon. "Sorry for the deception, love, but I was curious to see who was quickly approaching my door,"

I crossed my arms against my chest, "But why hide yourself?"

"You're playing hide and seek with the children, are you not?" Charles asked grinning.

"I was thinking of it as more of a training exercise," I replied, my lips forming into a smirk, "They don't know it, but I'm teaching them to think outside of the box," I explained. "Although, I think making yourself invisible is cheating Charles. No powers remember?" I pointed out.

Charles' lips upturned into a smile, "Out of all of the rooms in this house, why did you choose my room, Claudia?"

"Because I knew no one would be bold enough to try," I retorted.

"No one except you," Charles smirked.

"No one except me," I repeated grinning.

"I shouldn't have expected less," the telepath chuckled, his eyes sparkled with mirth. I opened my mouth to respond, but he just put his finger to his lips. "You'll thank me in a moment," he whispered, and almost simultaneously his bedroom door was opened by two familiar blonde headed mutants.

Alex and Raven both looked directly at me, but yet made no comment, it was like...I was invisible. I felt a small smile begin to work at my mouth and I looked back at Charles who mirrored my expression as he had two fingers on his temple.

"I thought you said you heard talking," Alex stated, slight frustration in his tone. "Because there is no one in here," he added, stepping in the room and checking the most obvious spots to hide like the closet, bathroom, and underneath the bed.

"I swear I did!" Raven exclaimed. "Maybe it was just the music I heard," she suggested, as Alex walked back to door.

"Maybe," he agreed, closing the door behind him.

Charles and I waited for about thirty seconds before erupting in soft laughter, "This house is enormous, this is hardly a fair fight," Charles pointed out, and I merely shrugged. "There's never been a dull moment in this house since you got here Claudia," he smiled, brandishing a book that had previously escaped my notice. "Can I assume you're the one responsible for the mayhem downstairs about five minutes ago?" Charles inquired.

"I wanted to further explore my abilities," I answered smiling. "Do you mind a companion?" I asked.

"Not at all, provided you don't try to sit on me again," Charles quipped, before looking back down at his book.

I glanced around the room seeing there wasn't another chair for me to sit.

"I might have to," I thought.

And so, it was with a small smirk that I sidled up the handsome man before me, and slid down into his lap just as Lena Horne cooed ‘Stormy Weather’ from the record player in the corner of the room.

Charles nearly jumped out of the chair, "Claudia! Wha-What are you-"

I looked up at him, "There were no other chairs, so I'd figure we could share," I explained, before raising my brows at him and watching a red flush crawl up his neck.

He swallowed thickly but managed a cool smirk of his own, "Is that so?" Charles asked, cocking his head to the side. His book slowly slipping out of his grasp and onto the floor with a soft thud.

My fingers moved to his shirt, straightening it out and brushing the strands of hair from his face, "Very much so," I smirked, flipping my hair over my shoulder. I leaned closer to Charles, my lips close to his ear, "Stormy weather. Just can't get my poor self together. I'm weary all the time, the time. Yes, weary all the time," I sung, slowly raising my knee until it brushed his crotch, my teasing, mischievous nature coming into play.

This harmless flirting had to peak eventually right?

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down, "T-This is inappropriate," Charles' breathing hitched.

"How so?" I breathed out. "You're surely weren't thinking that this morning," I reminded.

"Well, I'm not going to deny that you are the most amazingly beautiful woman I have ever met-" Charles began.

"Oh how you flatter me Charles," I smiled.

"I've also been thinking about how I'm much older than you," Charles continued, and I rolled my eyes before pulling my head back to face Charles.

"I've been with old men before Charles," I drawled.

"Are you calling me old, Claudia?" he questioned, his lips quirking into a small smile.

"I never did such a thing, you called yourself old, Charles," I retorted, tilting my head slightly.

He chuckled and looked at me, his intense blue gaze that was fixed upon my own. I glance down at his lips and back to this eyes and he did the same as I leaned forward, our lips barely touching.

Charles lifted one of his hands and caressed my cheek softly, "While I want nothing more to claim your lips with my own," he sighed, pulling away from me. "Let's not rush into things, love," Charles suggested gently, a small smile gracing his features.

I recognized the look in his eye as he smiled at me. Charles Xavier may have been abnormal in almost every other aspect of his life, but when it came to attraction and women, he was exceedingly normal. And for the first time in years the thought of a man being attracted to me suited me just fine, especially one who said there was no need to rush.

I exhaled deeply and nodded my head, "If that's what you want," I conceded, pulling my head back as well. "Well, guess I was right," I mused, and Charles furrowed his brow. "The world may never really know when you're going to get that kiss," I smirked.

Charles grinned and I contented myself with him wrapping an arm around my waist as he read to me, all the while watching in amusement every time one of the children came in and searched the room over, each more frustrated than the last.

Chapter Nine: Challenges

#x-men fanfiction #black fanfiction #x-men fanfic #charles xavier fanfiction #charles xavier x oc #black!oc #magneto x oc #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #erik lehnsherr fanfiction #erik lehnsherr x oc #black!reader #x men fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine

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tigerdrop · 4 years

Note

Cringe is dead, talk to me about the funny half-life men and their relationship

okay here is my essay. it is titled These Guys Actually Like Each Other, and Gordon Freeman Is Just Kind Of A Dick*

(disclaimer: these are just my 2 cents. dont take me too seriously! im just some guy online who has watched this shit too many times.)

first things first. these guys actually like each other. this is a key aspect of their relationship. benrey, obviously and textually, digs gordon freeman - you dont flirt that heavily with guys you arent into, and so much of what he says and does is geared around making gordon crack up. thats pretty gay.

but the counterpart to this is that gordon freemans pretty fucking gay for benrey, too. you may say, “oh, but word of god says its not requited!” and to you i will say: bull shit. gordon is uniquely obsessed with benrey compared to all the other characters. if gordon didnt like the fucking guy, he wouldnt giggle with him and share in-jokes with him and bring him up every 5 seconds when benreys not around. thats concern, bro. thats worry. thats real shit

but i cant blame people for thinking that gordon freeman genuinely doesnt like benrey. benreys partially responsible for some of the worst things that have happened to him, the Arm Thing among them. and gordons very insistent afterward that he doesnt like benrey. he even goes so far as to try to kill benrey a couple times. to this, i must argue that gordon freeman is just kind of a dick.

lets talk facts here. canon. Lore. from the moment we hop into gordons shoes, we can see that he is a jerk to every npc on his way into black mesa. this is his default: a dude who just runs his mouth and says rude shit. he calls tommy a freak within 5 minutes of meeting him. he infantilizes the guy and barely considers him a real scientist. he doubts that bubby is a real name for like no fuckin reason. in “real life”, this is because its funny, and wayne is trying to make a funny half-life stream. in a textual sense, this is because gordon “hlvrai” freeman is a dick. this is the way he acts, consistently, throughout the series.

(brief aside: this is why the whole “gordon is a nice guy and a great dad” characterization baffles me. the way he actually acts in canon is, in short, bitchy and lacking in self-awareness. and i love that for him, i really do. it makes the moments where he just tries to be a nice guy stand out. but thats the thing: his intermittent moments of decency and kindness are not the whole of his personality! this dude kind of sucks most of the time!)

the way that gordons general asshole attitude extends to benrey is complicated. in fairness, benrey makes it his job to annoy the shit out of gordon as much as possible, and that warrants a negative attitude, but gordons pretty paranoid and ends up blaming benrey for nearly everything that happens to him, regardless of if its warranted. this is a pattern he exhibits both before and after the Arm Thing. its a little bit of a dick move! especially considering that, prior to the whole “betrayal” subplot (which was not exactly planned very far in advance), benrey is no more malicious or annoying than anybody else gordons having to travel with.

(okay, this is kind of a subjective evaluation, but still. my point stands that benrey is not any more of a hindrance to his progress than anybody else in the science crew, and neither is he particularly more violent or murderous. hell, gordon freeman has probably killed more guys than benrey. benrey just tends to get.......special treatment.)

all that said, i am still convinced that gordon really fucking likes benrey. please consider with me the following: it would be remarkably easy for gordon to just ignore him and do what he has to do, but he doesnt. he could stop engaging. he could stop thinking about benrey. he could stop bringing benrey up to the rest of the crew every time benrey leaves to do his own thing for awhile. but he doesnt. and, again, yeah, the extra-textual reason for this is “two guys are doing an improv comedy thing and bouncing off of scorpy is kind of the point”, but within the text it reads to me as gordon not being about to get the dude off his mind.

and this is in addition to all the times we see gordon being genuinely nice and receptive toward benrey! its in the little things: laughing the hardest and longest at benreys jokes. only ever reciprocating that stupid underwater “BBBBB” thing with benrey. trying to catch benrey when he falls, despite his insistence moments earlier that benrey should hop in the wack ass crystal generator and get hypermurdered. fondly remarking that benreys sweet voice sounds beautiful. his sort of flustered responses to most of benreys overt flirting. none of this is the way normal people react to a guy they hate. this is all fuckin gay to me, man.

its this combination of the outward insistence that gordon hates benrey with his inner eagerness to be around him and think about him and engage with him that gives off strong “repression” vibes, to me. for whatever reason - pride, embarrassment, resentment - gordon maintains a front of hating the guy and wanting to kill him for a lot of the series, but it doesnt gel with the way he fucking giggles and plays along half the time that benrey starts fucking with him. its a game, and that game is one of the only ways gordon knows to manifest affection for him.

(remember “oh my god, hes got a knife!”? that was the gayest shit i ever seen in my life. tittering like a schoolgirl while benrey chases him around like “im gonna get you haha”. insanity.)

the cool thing about repression is that you can have it manifest in a lot of ways! and this is where things like “headcanons” and “my own personal affection for repressed bisexual men” come in. a lot of how i characterize their relationship is an extrapolation of a lot of things like gordons canonical insecurity issues/anxiety, gordons whole anti-bootboy thing screaming “internet wokeboy who means well but probably has a lot of repressed baggage” to me, etc.

how do you get massive amounts of sexual repression out of what you see in canon, you might ask? well. if wayne would stop having gordon talking about being jerked off by the suit, or talking about chugging a 40-gal drum of potion and having to hold his piss, or worrying about being eaten by benrey the moment he sees benrey at setscale 10, maybe i would have a higher opinion of gordon “hlvrai” freeman and whatever latent psychosexual issues hes got going on. but here we are

i havent even touched yet upon how benrey feels about gordon. this one is helpfully made a little more plain by the fact that benrey very much wants to suck his dick in canon. (i dont even have to go into details. we all know.) but IMO the best part about this ship isnt just that they dig each other, but how. benrey gets overtly flirtatious in the second half of the series, but IMO his preferred method of flirting is just fucking with gordon: chasing him with knives, shoving him around in a bathroom, trying to get scans of his feet. but all in like a slapstick, giggly, fun-and-games sense, you know? at least when it works.

a lot of the time, though, it doesnt work out that way. he clearly just likes doing it whether or not gordon responds positively. which is, you know, Weird. not very nice. but also in line with the way everybody else treats gordon freeman. gordons kind of the universes chew toy in any given universe, and the same holds true here. hes kind of helpless......subjected to 4 demons attempting to make his life as difficult as possible. in a way its cathartic.

sorry. i got sidetracked. anyway, benrey very much likes to mess with him and unnerve him and demean him and i will be perfectly frank with you: that is hot. i have problems and illnesses and one of them is that i am a masochist who goes crazy for that kind of thing. calling gordon a “dirty lil boy” and telling him to “look at the mess [he] made” is some straight up kink scene shit.

i like to imagine that a lot of this behavior isnt caused just by the guy who played him wanting to be funny and antagonistic, but by benrey as a character not really understanding what constitutes “pushing a joke too far”. hes not human, and whatever he is doesnt have a very normative way of understanding the world around him, full of people who actually get hurt for real and die for real. benrey expresses what seems to be genuine surprise and distress after the Arm Thing, as if he didnt know that his actions would have serious consequences. and it doesnt seem to fully sink in afterward, either.

it reads a lot to me like hes used to video game rules and treating people around him like NPCs. if they get hurt, its no big deal, because its not real. he likes jamming random buttons on gordons interface and seeing what comes out. its probably a lot of fun for him, the same way that seeing a streamer or a youtuber suffer for our amusement is fun. its like, you know, in my opinion, gordons very cute when hes frazzled. hes also cute when hes laughing. pushing gordons buttons has a 50/50 chance of either of these things. and this is how he ultimately flirts with gordon: by pulling his pigtails.

but at the same time, benrey does legit care about gordon and knows some boundaries. benreys the one most often shooting at enemies to protect gordon, and he spent most of the last act trying to convince gordon to turn around and not fight him because they were friends (best friends, to be specific). he just lacks a lot of the emotional intelligence it would take to express the feeling of “he digs gordon and likes seeing his face get all red and sweaty regardless of the cause”. and gordon lacks the emotional intelligence it would take to express the fact that he doesnt know if he likes or hates benrey and hes scared as hell that its the former

because, lets be real. unironic benrey-liking is a sign of problems disorder. just look at all these words ive written about it.

can you imagine? this bizarrely powerful, non-human entity that can shrug off gunfire and grow to the size of a building has decided that youre his new plaything. benreys the bored guy booting up skyrim and fucking around in the console, and gordons the hapless favorite follower that hes taken a liking to. its a really fun dynamic IMO

after all this, its safe to say my title is a little misleading. the asterisk stands for * and So Is Benrey, Actually. they are both kind of awful dudes who thrive off of teasing each other and they deserve each other. and i am crazy about it. thank u for coming to my TED talk

#asky #careposting

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budzdorovanatasha · 4 years

Text

Half and Half: CH 2

This chapter is 2k words, which is long for me, so just thought I’d make that little disclaimer. Let me know what you think of the series.

CH 1

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The beautiful spring morning had been nothing if not hectic. While you’d packed most of your bags last night, Nat and you were very good at getting distracted, especially when you didn’t want to be doing a task, and neither one of you were fond of packing.

Meaning that this morning consisted of finishing packing- and getting distracted once more. And since then it had been a flurry of activity.

“You got the bags, babe?” you called as you walked back and forth in the kitchen, grabbing things in drawers to make coffee for you and tea for Natasha.

“Got them,” she called back. “H’tschoo!” You heard her distant sneeze from the hallway, prompting you to call out a ‘bless you.’

“Thank you!”

The front door open and closed, your clue that the bags were being loaded into the car, meaning that the drinks were the only things left. Being an Avenger had its perks, meaning that you were flying on a private plane to London. Which meant you couldn’t really be late, which was good, considering Natasha and you had gotten more than a bit sidetracked this morning.

You had just finished gathering all of the ingredients for your latte when your girlfriend’s arms snaked around your waist.

“Hi,” you murmured, feeling nothing other than pure joy.

“Hi.”

“Your tea is there,” you replied, nodding towards the cup to the left of you.

“Thank you,” she whispered, kissing your cheek. You hummed before making your latte and then putting the milk and sugar away.

“Car’s all packed?”

She nodded, sipping her tea.

“Do you think we forgot anything?” you asked, nervousness suddenly taking over you.

“No,” Natasha shook her head, coming to cup your cheek. “We have everything we could possibly need. Mission gear, weapons, fancy dresses, casual wear, shoes, cosmetics, everything.”

You let out a breath you hadn’t known you’d been holding.

“Okay, let’s go.” You couldn’t help but smile, excited for your first trip together. Nat felt the same, leaning in to kiss you passionately before taking your hand and leading you towards the door. She stopped on the way, sniffling and removing her hand from yours as her breath hitched.

“Heh...hetshooo!” It was a soft sneeze, but it was desperate and itchy nonetheless.

“Bless you,” you murmured, a bit confused. Natasha rarely sneezed, as in once every few days type of rare. You’d never seen her sneeze twice in a day, let alone less than ten minutes apart. Sensing your concern, your girlfriend turned to you, sniffling.

“I think the flowers are messing with me.”

“I didn’t think you were allergic to anything,” you responded honestly, narrowing your eyes just a tad.

“I didn’t used to be, but it feels like allergies. My eyes are watery and my nose is itching constantly.” As if to prove her point, she scrunched her nose up adorably and you resisted the urge to kiss it.

“Let’s hope London has less pollen. Should we bring antihistamines?”

“I took one a few minutes ago, and I packed them,” Natasha admitted. You furrowed your brow. How long had she been dealing with this, and you didn’t know?

“How long have you been feeling like this, babe?” you asked softly. Realizing you were worried, she smiled gently and kissed you softly.

“A few days, if that, and today is the worst it’s been, and it’s not even that bad, Y/N. It wasn’t enough to mention anything until now.”

“Okay,” you agreed, gently pushing her towards the door.

By the time you were on the jet, you’d forgotten all about Nat’s allergies. She seemed to be fine, her normal self, and you were both still in disbelief over the fact that you were actually going on vacation. You even spent time looking out the windows of the plane and taking pictures.

Natasha, however, had something else on her mind. On top of watery eyes and an itchy nose, a tickle had begun to form in the back of her throat, and it took a small bit of effort on her part to stop from clearing her throat every two seconds. She was starting to get annoyed with her symptoms, even more so with the fact that she had even started developing allergies in the first place. It was allergies, right? She certainly didn’t feel like she normally did when coming down with something.

Shaking her head as if to clear it, she decided she’d take another dose of medicine once you made it to the hotel. The last thing Nat wanted to do was worry you, and it seemed she already had.

“Baby, look,” you breathed. The plane’s descent had started, and Europe was starting to come into view.

“It’s beautiful,” Natasha murmured, “But not as beautiful as you.”

You laughed lightly, turning to press your lips to hers. “And I’m not as beautiful as you.”

She just hummed in response, pulling you into her arms. You kissed her again, sweetly, before going back again with a hint of passion. Happiness and excitement seemed to radiate from you, enough so that Nat found herself smiling into the kisses, prompting you to pull back.

“What?”

“You are exuding happiness,” Natasha answered, smiling.

“Good, because I feel happy,” you answered. “Are you?”

“I always am with you.”

You bit your lower lip, eyes sparkling with joy as you kissed her again. Nat kissed you back fervently, though she pulled away suddenly with a sneeze that snuck up on her.

“H’tsch!” She stifled it perfectly against her shoulder.

“Bless, babe,” you chuckled.

“Thank you,” she whispered as she pecked your lips. You were ready to continue with your little makeout session, but were interrupted by the pilot announcing your near arrival.

“We will continue that later,” Nat murmured before sitting up straight in her seat and buckling her seatbelt. You did the same and waited with bated breath for the plane to land.

After a half hour drive into the city, you were settling into the hotel room, hanging up your clothes and putting things away. Nat had disappeared sniffling into the bathroom, and you assumed she was taking more pills. After catching a glimpse of the plants that seemed to be in bloom in the city, you weren’t optimistic about her symptoms disappearing. She seemed to be okay as long as she took the medication, so you weren’t as worried anymore.

Your thoughts shifted to your plans for the evening, excitement and a sense of adventure lighting up in you. You couldn’t wait to see the city. Sure, you’d been there for missions, but that was nothing compared to being able to explore it without a task or goal.

You moved to the balcony, staring out at the city before you, breathing in the London air, making sure to close the door behind you for Nat’s sake. A few minutes later, you heard it open. You turned to see Natasha, in different clothes for the evening. She looked gorgeous in her outfit and you told her so. She hummed, wrapping her arms around you, her chin resting on your shoulder.

“Are you going to change so we can explore or would you prefer to see the city from a distance?” she teased. You chuckled, before attempting to go inside. Her arms stopped you.

“You actually have to let me go in order for me to chance, Nat.”

After kissing your cheek, your girlfriend finally did let you go, and you hurriedly changed, fixing your hair before joining Nat and heading out for the evening. The plan was to go out to dinner and then walk around for a bit, before heading for cocktails at a bar. Depending on how tired you each were, and how you were feeling in general, you could either go back to the hotel or go out to a club.

As soon as dinner had finished, you wandered around with Natasha, looking at store fronts and walking near the water. You’d even stumbled upon a beautifully lit park as the sun was setting. As you walked through it, you became more aware of Nat’s sniffling. Had she been sniffling this whole time? Were the meds wearing off? You should’ve thought to bring tissues.

“You alright?” you asked, squeezing her hand. She nodded, lashes fluttering closed as her breath caught.

“H’tndxh! H’tshhooo!”

“Bless you. Maybe we should get out of the park,” you mused, watching as Natasha pushed roughly against her nose, trying to stop her sniffles from turning into another sneeze. Once she got it under control, she sighed, clearing her throat.

“We’re almost through it. I’ll be fine,” she replied, squeezing your hand reassuredly. You nodded, picking up the pace a little bit.

You made it through the rest of the park without any problems, and the two of you seemed to be talking about anything and everything under the sun. The happiness and excitement you’d felt upon arrival hadn’t dissipated, and Natasha seemed just as happy, though she was beginning to sound a bit tired.

“Drinks and then back to the hotel?” you suggested as you walked down a lively street.

“Perfect. I think a good cocktail sounds refreshing right now.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” you smiled. Nat cleared her throat, before giving into the tickle and coughing into her arm. You felt a frown tugging at your lips. Was coughing part of allergies? You’d never seen her deal with them, so you couldn’t know for certain, but maybe she was coming down with something? Wouldn’t she have told you though? And she certainly would know that, right?

“Babe,” Natasha’s voice filled your ear. You looked up, before realizing she was holding the door open for you.

“Oh, thank you,” you said, entering the cute, upscale bar. The two of you were seated, ordering your drinks fairly quickly. With the romantic feel of the city, the bar, and the evening hour, you cuddled into her, your hand falling to her thigh in the circular booth.

“I’m glad we decided to go on vacation,” you hummed, starting to feel exhausted from the travel and excitement of the day. Nat’s thumb rubbed your side soothingly, feeling just as tired as you, if not more.

“Me too,” she agreed, clearing her throat softly. You were brought your drinks, and you each tried them and then each other’s.

“Why are these so much better than American drinks?” you laughed, taking another sip of yours.

“This might be one of the best cocktails I’ve ever had,” Natasha agreed.

“Has the team decided whether or not they’re going to watch remotely or come to London?”

“Not that I know of,” she shook her head, her gentle red curls becoming more of beachy waves after a long day.

“They better figure it out fast,” you muttered, drinking your drink much faster than you thought you were.

“Slow down, baby,” your girlfriend laughed. You pushed your glass away, laughing and continuing the conversation.

An hour later, you were on your way back to the hotel, ready to collapse into bed. Natasha was starting to sound congested, her voice growing a tad hoarse. You hoped that a good nights sleep and some more medicine would fix those two things, along with her frequent- well, frequent for her- sneezes.

“I’m sorry you don’t feel well,” you murmured as soon as you’d entered the quiet of your own room.

“I’m okay, babe.”

“Yeah, I know, but you just sound... itchy and annoyed,” you explained.

“Annoyed just with my own body, not with you,” Nat clarified.

“I know,” you smiled gently.

The two of you washed up for bed quickly, both eager to get to bed. As soon as you’d fallen into bed, you pulled her close, finding comfort in steady heartbeat.

“Tomorrow we’ll explore and be touristy,” Natasha murmured, eyes already closed.

“I can’t wait.”

#natasha romanoff x reader #Natasha x reader #marvel whump #whumpfic #whump #sickfic #my fic #series #half and half

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