#I got no pants or underwear

[swampndn]

Y'all ever take a picture of your titty at just the perfect angle, and suddenly, you understand the people's obsession? Like wow. Never seen them from this view i.e. other people's view. I get it. They're niiiiiiiice

[asteroidaffection]

what would you do if we never made a sound?

[great-tusk]

I need her so that she and Turtwig can sit on my shelf and I can come over and give her a little kiss on the top of her head when I’m too stressed to sleep.

[bilboyagathechickenfootedhobbit]

Every morning my son and I play a game where I have to guess which pair of underwear he’s wearing and EVERY DAY I LOSE because he keeps STEALING HIS COUSINS UNDERWEAR and I’m not as familiar with HIS underwear because I don’t BUY IT and my kid cackles like the little feral underpants-stealing goblin he is and I think to myself “okay that HAS to be the last pair of his cousins underwear that he has squirreled away…..” and then inevitably it is not and I lose again.

Pretty sure I’m going to have to buy my nephew all new underwear for Christmas because I’m PRETTY SURE my goblin has stolen ALL OF THEM.

[evilvampwhore]

my friends dad haunts my nightmares.

(@bustmybussyopen)

[itsalwaysdark]

mad w power rn

[cinnaminsvga]

had a really cute interaction today lol im in japan rn for my vacation and i was buying some sneakers and if you want to get the tax free price, you gotta show your passport… i have a shooky passport case and the lovely salesman was like “oh! you like bts?” so i asked who his favorite was and he told me he biases jungkook,,, and when he handed me my shoes, he quietly said “bye ami 😊” and i was like “omg bye ami 🩷” LIKE WTH SO FRIGGIN CUTEEEE thats probably my only positive bts-related stranger interaction ever 🥲

and unrelated pic look at this hair pomade i found

[binch-i-might-be]

I'm still sick and the inside of my mouth lowkey tastes like blood. violence and hate on planet earth

[virgoes]

no words just pete wentz

[dennisboobs]

not to sound like a glennisfucker but there's something so cute about the little blue briefs den wears on the runway in the billboard ep

[oars]

i think it'd be best if i bought food .. i think i almost passed out walking out of work bc im not eating enough lol

[voidsumbrella]

perpetually irritated that the two allergies i have- fur and most fragrances- are the most passively inconvenient non-food/non-life threatening bc every one of my friends owns cats and/or dogs, and Literally Everything Is Scented

[yourknightinshiningplastic]

tmi but earlier today I saw a tweet (screenshot of a tik tok) that said "people with this initial will shart their pants today" (sumn like that) and the initial was A and my real name starts with an A. guess what just happened to me.

[sun-marie]

the "Rivaini Panoply" armor is the bane of my existence bc it looks SO GOOD on lydia from the back

and SO AWFUL on her from the front 😭

[i-earned-my-stripes]

Quotes from today!

Kid: *crying*

Me: What's wrong?

Kid: Mama

Me: I know you want mama, but she's not here yet. She'll be here soon.

Kid: *starts crying harder* Mama

Me: My dear, I do not control the rate at which your mother gets here, so I can't help with that.

Kid: *breaks down even more* Mama

Me: Is there something I can do to help you?

Kid: *snuffles* Ice

Me: *starts laughing* I like the thought bud, but I don't think booboo ice will help with emotional pain.

Kid: *runs over, arms up high, whining like something is wrong*

Me: *gets on kids level to hug* Oh love what's wrong?

Kid: *stops whining and points at counter* Nak

Me: *through laughter* s-snack? Bud I just washed my hands to get it. Give me a minute.

*kiddo then proceeds to stand right next to me the entire time I prepared snack, just staring up at the counter*

Me: *getting ready to head home*

Kid: *walks over on knees, hand up in the air*

Me: oh are you giving me a hive five goodbye? Here Hive Five!

Kid: *smiles, turns to the rest of class and starts waving* ba-bye

Me: *again, dying of laughter* oh are you going home with me? My dear I don't think your mom would like that

*the little dear proceeded to follow me to the door and then started crying when I walked out without her*

[sttoru]

older bf satoru catches you masturbating <3

 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. older bf!gojo satoru x female reader. smut, pwp. age gap (reader early 20’s, satoru early 30’s). māsturbation. turns into cunnilingus. squirting. reader gets called ‘baby, angel, little girl’

you miss satoru so much. he had left you behind in his apartment after getting a call from a colleague, who needed help defeating a curse nearby. it’s been a few hours since then and you’re bored.

bored and horny.

you’re still riled up from the heated make out session you had with satoru before he departed. the one that got interrupted by that damned phone call. you need him back with you—for his slender fingers to touch you and his mouth to kiss you all over.

all you have of him is his shirt. you’re wearing it whilst laying back in his bed, the fabric seemingly oversized on your body. his scent is making you lightheaded. dizzy, to the point your hand moves down on its own.

“mhhg,” you cover your mouth with your free hand, not wanting to risk anything, even if you’re the only one in this apartment. you waste no time dipping your fingers underneath your panties, circling your clit with your thumb while your index and middle finger rub your moist folds.

all you can do is imagine that it’s satoru pleasuring you. he always does it so well—never once leaving you unsatisfied. you cannot recall the amount of times he’s made you squirt from just rubbing your cunt. you’re so touch deprived and he knows how to take advantage of that.

remembering that one moment where your boyfriend had you seated on his lap on the couch makes you increase the pace of your fingers. how he was so focused on listening to the news whilst gently rubbing your tingly cunt over the material of your panties, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

you recall how your panties were quite literally soaking after three whole orgasms. not once did his fingers directly touch your pussy, and yet he managed to elicit such strong reactions from you.

a frustrated whine in the shape of his name leaves your mouth. you want satoru back, so so badly. you want him to whisper sweet nothings inside of your ears as he makes love to you. that smooth and soothing voice of his makes you weak.

“fuck, angel,” satoru’s voice interrupts your little session. your eyes widen and you immediately pull your fingers out of your aching hole. you stammer and stutter, stumbling over your words as you look at the white-haired man standing at the doorframe of his room.

how do you even explain yourself?

your gaze flickers downwards which grants you the delicious sight of his bulge. his hand is right on top of it, indicating that he’s been touching himself before he decided to make his presence known.

satoru is panting, the sweat already starting to form on his forehead. he walks up to the bed and pries your hands away from your cunt. his cock stirs in his boxer briefs at the sight of you in his shirt. you’re so adorable to the older man. so needy. . .

without a word and like a starved man, satoru spreads your legs and yanks your panties down. your cunt is warm and soppy, the slick trail staining your underwear telling him enough. he doesn’t hesitate before diving his head between your plush thighs.

you feel a rush of warmth go through your body the instant his tongue comes into contact with your pussy. satoru’s nose repeatedly bumps against your clit as he tries to press his entire mouth onto your folds. his tongue lolls out, the tip navigating up and down your slit before pushing through, finding that little hole he can’t wait to devour.

“thank you for preparing my meal f’me while i was away,” satoru hums against your cunt before pulling back to allow his fingers to explore you. he glances up at you with a proud smirk before placing his mouth back where it belongs. he can’t let all the prep you did go to waste after all, “she’s fuckin’ delicious, baby.”

your hands pull at his hair in response, gaining a needy whine from your lover. he nearly chokes on both his spit and your juices. his hands hold onto the back of your knees and he uses that firm grip to push your legs further apart.

you’re nearly seeing stars. you didn’t even have time to register satoru’s sudden appearance. hell, you couldn’t even greet him or welcome him back home. that man wasted zero time in getting between your legs, eating you out like there’s no tomorrow.

you stumble over your own words. no matter how hard you try, not a sentence is able to form. all that leaves your mouth are moans of pure pleasure. your thighs shake and your hips buck against your lover’s mouth. you’re more than desperate for a release.

“c’mon, say my name again,” satoru sighs as he circles his tongue around your wet hole. he prods at it, tongue fucking you to acquire as much of your fluids as possible. your sweet wetness is making him throb in his pants, “mhmmm— my naughty little girl couldn’t wait.”

the older man feels great satisfaction at the thought of you being unable to withstand your pleasures. the sinful sight of you trying to fuck yourself with your little fingers on his bed, with his shirt on, is engraved in his mind forever. the second you moan out his name again, he goes all out.

satoru’s tongue doesn’t stop. even when you squeal and beg him to slow down because you feel like you’re going to cum early. that’s exactly what he wants; having you squirt all over his mouth and face. he needs to be covered with your slick.

you tug at his hair again - thinking that’d make satoru pull away - though the effect is the exact opposite. “nhh, do ‘t again,” he whines and moans against your folds, lapping up all that your pussy gives. the loud slurping noises reverberate throughout the room.

satoru’s eyes are closed, his furrowed brows adding to the concentrated yet content look on his blushing face. his lips, which are usually glossy, glisten even more with the liquid your cunt secretes. his eyes open every now and then to take a peek at you—to see if you’re still enjoying what he does.

“bet your small fingers weren’t enough, hm? y’ need mine?” satoru coos once he finally pulls his head back to breathe. he licks his lips as he stares at you with glazed and half-lidded eyes, totally pussydrunk. you don’t even have to respond to his questions. the answers are obvious by the way you’re trembling and desperately babbling incoherent pleas.

your boyfriend nods in understanding. he pouts at you while his fingers rub up and down your spread pussy lips. the pad of his thumb manoeuvres from your gaping hole to the little bundle of nerves at the top. satoru sticks two fingers in your cunt without warning. your high pitched whimper makes him coo at you, “yeah, i know, baby. let it out.”

the white-haired sorcerer pumps his long fingers in and out of you, a rhythm so addicting that it’s impossible not to give in. your back arches off the mattress. you’re trying your best not to stain satoru’s shirt with your juices, though you have a feeling he’d secretly like that anyway.

“am so close, ‘toruuu—fnngh,” you gasp and instantly feel satoru’s tongue replace his fingers. he wants to taste and feel your tight cunt spasm all around his tongue and mouth while you reach that point of no return. he’s going to try his best not to cum untouched in his pants this time.

satoru holds your hips with his big hands, keeping you down so he could properly eat you out and make you release all that tension. your pussy tingles and throbs, and you truly feel like you’re going to ascend.

it feels way too good. inhumanly good.

“cum on my tongu—“ satoru can’t even finish his sentence. a loud moan slips from between your lips, followed by a grunt from your boyfriend. his eyes roll back as your cunt releases more of its lewd fluids—spraying the liquid all over his mouth and chin.

you’re too busy trying to catch your breath to notice the mess you’ve created on satoru’s face and his sheets; a complete and total mess. the older man doesn’t mind neither. in fact, he enjoys it.

“shitttt, that was fuckin’ hot,” satoru flashes you a wide grin. he’s still somewhat drunk on you, which is visible by the way he’s licking up your mess from both his chin and your body. he cleans your cunt with his tongue—even if it’s overstimulating you.

he’s a greedy man when it comes to you. he wants more, more and more. whatever you’re offering, he will get.

satoru’s hands rub your sides to comfort you. he places soft kisses over your clit and pussy, as if he’s thanking you for the meal he just had the pleasure of devouring. he looks up at you with a cheeky smirk before laying his head against your inner thigh, his tongue peeking out between his glossy lips;

“think you can give me one more?”