#I got both his endings several times and I am still unsure on how to categorize him

[flamingpudding]

Bat dad meet Ghost dad

Several years earlier....

"JAAAAAAZZZZZZZZ!" Danny flew excited through the Ghost Zone with a little kid in his arms rushing past some of his former rogues as he made a B-Line for his sister that happened to be in the Zone too, currently in a deep conversation with Frostbite about something Danny hadn't cared to pay attention to long enough. But right now he had exciting news he really wanted to share with his sister. Even now as adults Danny tented to live out his childishness whenever he could especially when he and his family went into the Ghost Zone.

The Halfa came to a screeching halt as he grined brightly at his sister who looked back at him with a raised eyebrow, slightly amused at her younger brothers giddiness. "What is it Danny?"

"I got a son now!" Danny declared happily holding up a young ghost teen by the armpits into his sisters face.

The 'son' in Danny's hands stared at Jazz blinking owlishly as if the teen boy still needed a moment to catch up with what was going on and Jazz blinked back at the ghost and then at Danny. That was not a child but a teen ghost. Going by the size the kid was probably around 14 or 15 and he looked very much traumatised and Jazz could not tell if that was because of Danny or because of how the teen possible died.

"Danny what did you-" Her brother did not let her finish her question as he started rambling excitedly.

"He is a baby ghost Jazz! Look how young he is! I found him floating around aimlessly, his hunt hasn't even fully formed yet and when i picked him up there was that instant connection! You know the same-"

"Danny."

"I have with Clockwork and Pandora! I instantly knew he was mine! Mine to protect! Mine to guide! When I saw him I swear I just knew, I ghost adopted him the moment I made contact! He is family Jazz-"

"Danny."

"I just know he belongs with us! Look at him and tell me he doesn't have Fenton charms! I am sure Dan and Dani will love him too! He is such a cute little ghost! There is so much I can teach him! I will be the best dad ever to this wonderful little baby ghost! And-"

"Daniel William James Fenton!"

Danny bite his tongue instantly silenced when Jazz pulled out the full name call. Both him and the teen in his arms stared at her a bit shell shocked and in that moment Jazz couldn't help but hide a small amused smile at how similar Danny and the teen in his arms looked when they stared at her.

"Did you explain any of this to him?" She indicated to the teen, who's name she by the way still didn't know. Danny at least had the curtesy to look a little ashamed as Jazz pointed that out and let go of the teen so they could float on their own. She sighed with a fond smile before looking at the teen that looked a bit unsure between her and Danny now.

"What's your name?" She asked them with a friendly and encouraging smile.

"Jason...."

Current time...

Jason was in a little bit of a predicament. Originally he really thought he never would end up in this kind of situation espacially since he didn't think he would patch up things with Bruce any time soon. But we'll here he was...

Life liked proofing him wrong.

Like with he fact that Jason could use a ghost wail in dire situation. And that something like that would naturally call his ghost dad onto the scene since he collapsed after it.

And like with how he woke up in the bat caves med bay with both Danny and Bruce standing over him and glaring at each other. Or at least he thought they were glaring at each other that looked like a pretty annoyed stare in his eyes from Danny and Bruce's jaw was really tense from what was visible and not covered by his cowl.

So all Jason could do was endure at the moment. Aaaaand refuse to make eye contact with any of his present siblings. Mainly Dick because he wasn't sure how to interpret the others' smiles. For a moment Jason wondered if he could hide out in his ghost-dad's castle in the Ghost Zone for a while until whatever storm was brewing with Bruce was over.

There was also a moment in which Jason wondered if there could have been anything done to avoid this... confrontation(?). Before feeling the need to face palm because his Aunt that sort of has been giving him free therapy told him repeatedly that communication was key. He never regretted not listening to her more than he was right now.

To be fair. Communication with Bruce espacially hadn't been his strong suit for a while now before and after his death.

"So you are his Bat-Dad?" Jason did not like the way Danny, his ghost dad was using the word 'dad' right now. Oh good was he trying to challenge Bruce?

"And you are his Ghost-Dad?" Bruce grunted, oh now Jason was sure Bruce was giving Danny a glare, and Danny was getting that protective look in his eyes Jason was all to familiar with from his time as a dead baby ghost.

He groaned loudly sinking lower onto the medbed. Why did these things always have to happen to him? At least he was lucky that his Ghost Aunt and Uncle didn't show up too.

[brailsthesmolgurl]

GIVE ME ANOTHER CHANCE

Here comes another angsty fluffy one-shot request by one of my readers. Featuring everyone's fav doctor, Zayne. Enjoy the story! Warnings: Angst but yes to Comfort

"How can you expect me to do my damn job but also expect me not to be hurt?" You gritted your teeth, eyes shooting daggers into Zayne's side profile. He seemed unbothered by you raising your voice slightly, either he is used to it, or he expected it. Or both.

"Then I would suggest you to quit your job." His words were finalised, no variations in tone or anything. Just a statement, a sentence with a full stop. Your eyes welled up with tears. How could he not understand? To at least give you the benefit of the doubt that accidents would happen in your line of job, but you would do your best to minimise it?

"I won't." You walked over to him and you noticed his head turned slightly to face you. "And I am done with you." You grabbed your bag off of his desk and you darted off towards the front door. Zayne got off of his chair to hold you back but before he could grab your hand, you threw him your statement. "I do not wish to see you ever again. Have a good life."

Zayne was out at a charity event hosted by Akso Hospital, to raise funds for the several orphanages at Linkon City. As usual, he was expected to give a speech in front of the crowd, but instead of being the lead cardiac surgeon for Akso, he shall be giving his speech as one of the biggest donors for this event.

But as of now, his time has yet to come, so he stood at one of the cocktail tables, watching the crowd of unfamiliar faces. Although he is one of the best cardiac surgeons, he was not known to be the friendliest amongst his colleagues so generally, not many people would go up and strike a conversation with him.

He finds his mind wandering, floating from what would be a good post-event dessert to what diagnosis he have yet to complete to you. It has been 6 months since the both of you had contacted one another. Zayne however, had tried to call you after you had left but to no avail. And surprisingly, you blocked him so he had no methods to reach out to you. He could have easily come over to your place, but with Zayne being Zayne, he would not intrude into someone else's property if he was not invited at first glance.

His phone vibrated from the inside of his suit, and he peeled apart the right side of his tailored suit to fish out his phone. He stared at the caller's name for quite a bit. Longer than a few seconds. 'Y/N' flashed on his phone's screen. He pressed the phone to his ear. "Hello."

"Zayne." You were huffing and panting, and he could hear your whimper through the line. "I need... I need your help." You tried to explain, one hand holding the phone to your ears while the other pressed up against the deep gash you have on the side of your hips. "Nobody was picking up... I had no choice..."

Your voice. It was breaking up in between chokes and whimpers and sharp inhales. Zayne knew you were hurt, and this time, it is much more severe than any other times when he was there to tend to your wounds. He knew this was coming. No, not the call. He figured you would uphold your ego so much that you would not reach out to him anymore just to prove him wrong. To prove to him that you could take care of yourself.

But look at you now. He knew that there shall be a day where he would have to treat you when you are at your worst condition. He could imagine you being pushed into the hospital, with tendrils of tubes surrounding your body; to administer blood, nutrients, oxygens and many other fluids that your body requires to achieve a stable condition. His mind got snapped back to reality when you no longer spoke on the other side of the line.

"Stay still." You heard someone talking, unsure whether if it was towards you. "Or else you might end up hurting yourself again."

Your eyelids felt heavy as you slowly opened them, taking in your surroundings. The last moment you remembered was you were at one of the danger zones and you were outnumbered by a couple of wanderers. You managed to defeat them with all of your might and yet they manage to give you a wound so nasty it robbed your ability to stand and walk.

The room that you are currently in does not smell sterile at all. In fact, it smells like a mix of lavender and with hints of coconuts. The room was lit only with lamp decors, the light bouncing off of the pristine white walls, tainting it with a shade of beige. The room is tidy and emits the vibes of a cosy home which reminds you of someone you knew.

"Did the concussion made you lost the ability to listen to simple instructions?" You snapped your head to the right side as you slowly sat yourself up and you could not stop your jaw from dropping mentally. Zayne is seated right next to you, an apple in hand and a knife in another, eyes focused on peeling the skin off of the apple. One of his many acquired skills.

Your palm smoothed over your hip and you winced, facial features scrunched together in pain as you realised how bad your wound is. "What happened?" You choked out, still awaiting for the stinging pain to wear off.

"You called me earlier and through the phone, I could tell that you were terribly injured." He brought the peeled apple up to his face, examining it closely before placing it down and taking the next apple to start peeling its skin off. "So I went over to save you."

"But..." You were embarassed, teeth biting onto your bottom lip. "With what I had done previously... you could have-"

"You called me after six months of not being in contact, and you expect me to do nothing with your calls for help?" He spoke, finally placing the half-peeled apple down onto the ceramic plate, a clink followed as he placed the knife down. He looked towards you, his hazel green eyes are only brown within such a dark room. But you could make out the soft gaze he was giving you. "Does it still hurt?"

Your cheeks were hot, your heartbeat ramping up when he got closer to you. "I will leave once I feel better." He quirked one of his thin eyebrows up, a signal of confusion. "As soon as I can walk, I mean." You turned your face away from him, but this time, his fingers were quick to catch your chin, pulling you back to stare at him.

"I'm afraid that might take a while." He lets go of your chin and pulled down the blanket slightly, enough for him to see the bandage wrapped around your hip, and enough for him to notice the bits of skin showing above your hip given he had to wrap your hips so clothing would only be in the way of his treatment. "Your wounds are quite deep this time around. I had used my evol to freeze and cut out some of the dead tissue but I think rest should be your first priority for now."

"Look, I called you because I couldn't reach out to anyone else okay? I will be out of your hair once all of this," you gestured at your wound. "is fully healed." Your chafed statement made him sighed, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his sculpted nose. "So how long will this take? For me to heal?"

"I'm sorry." He muttered, the voice of his faltered alongside the wind chimes that he had hung by the windows. Your whole body was rigid, staring at the man in front of you, apologising to you out-of-the-blue. "It was selfish of me to ask you to quit your job and to not trust you in protecting yourself."

Your lips could not move, as if you were gagged by his remorse, his guilt, his regrets. Six months passed, and yet you did not took it any easier than him despite you were the one who chose to leave him and to never look back. You were the one who blocked him from contacting you entirely, you were the one who thought that he would at least cared about your passion for your work.

However, as a matter-of-fact, you can never forget about him. You always find yourself taking the long way home, purposely passing by Akso Hospital just to catch a glimpse of him. On lucky days, maybe you could catch him from a far distance, getting off of work. On unlucky days, you could still catch his black sedan car parked within the staff columns.

"When you called me, I expected the worst." Zayne's side profile is the only thing you could see now. "I tried contacting you after you had left, but the dial tone always ends, so I assumed that you have blocked me." Hearing how he had tried to reach out to you, your gut twisted, adding on to the pain that you are experiencing physically. "But I would understand if you would want to rest alone at your house instead of mine. I can schedule to send you back home tomorrow before I head off to the hospital."

"Zayne, I, I just couldn't believe it when you asked me to quit my job..." You trailed off, your eyes drooped as you felt your tears weighing them down. "I thought you would have known better that I am a deepspace hunter and that I will always be putting my life on the line."

Zayne leaned over, his shadow loomed over your figure and he placed his hand on the top of your head, slowly smoothing your hair behind your back. His touch was gentle, soothing to your skin. "And I should have trusted you instead of asking you to quit." You can feel the heat radiating from both of his hands cupping your cheeks, your face probably the size of an egg within his grasp. "When you were away, I find myself thinking about you and your safety a lot."

You agreed, your hand coming up to cup over his. The difference between both of your hands always a surprise to you. "I can't help but to want you as well, Zayne." His thumb caught the tear that streamed down your cheeks and he wiped it off. "I am sorry too, for having to walk out on you and on this relationship."

"Now, you should allow yourself to rest." Zayne's lips curled up into a small encouraging smile. He laid you down onto the bed slowly, hovering over you. "Would you still like me to fetch you back home tomorrow?" The shake of your head made him sighed in relief. "Then you should stay here, where I am capable of taking care of you." He peered down at you, his gentle gaze contradictory to his chiseled facial features. "Not only till you get better, but for the future too." The man then leaned down to claim your lips in a soft and longing kiss.

Tadaa! That is the end for this one-shot! It is fluff just as requested by my reader, so I hope this suffices you guys heart <3

[bonefall]

For context with Floatshimmer she is an 11 moon old, with kits.

goddddddd I just looked at the allegiances, trying DESPERATELY not to get sidetracked so I finish Star before the winds of my mental disorder pick me up and plop me down on a totally different task than the one I'm trying to do,

BUT

Lord it's bad. It's BEE-AY-D BAD. They didn't just make Moonpaw's parentage terrible, almost every choice (besides the expected Night/Sun and Blaze/Light litters) is weird in some way

We've got some new Orphan Warriors in the form of Fluffpaw and Silkypaw in WindClan, and Sprucepaw and Redpaw in ShadowClan.

Floatshimmer was just born 2 books ago, and is a mother as soon as Changing Skies opens up.

Breezepelt's daughter, Appleshine, now has Rustlekit and Stretchkit, making him a grandfather (not the weirdest thing I guess, considering how many descendants Lionblaze has... but still feels odd.)

Rootspring's sister, Needleclaw, now unceremoniously has Starlingkit and Robinkit in spite of having zero insight to who her potential mate is. EDIT: It's Kitescratch. Her first cousin once removed, a character I can't remember her hanging out with. Wasn't Kite one of Root's bullies

BOTH Myrtlebloom and Bayshine, siblings, are having kittens at the exact same time, and the Erins are really bad at remembering first cousins. I'm having That's So Raven visions into the future of shiptease between Moonpaw and Oak/Sun/Hazel and I'm practically setting up the plot hijinks of the sitcom episode hurling myself into action to try and prevent it

SOME CURSORY THOUGHTS TO HOW I'M GONNA FIX IT;

Orphan Warriors are easy for me to fix, I'll just link them up to some existing families. I guess now's a good time to casually drop that BB!ASC is going to end with the canonical "exodus" of several RiverClan cats, so I'm probably going to have both Silky/Fluff and Spruce/Red be fathered by RiverClan migrants.

Floatshimmer is waaaay too young to be having kits, even by canon's standards, but in BB cats start to have kits around 3-ish. I'm not sure if teenage pregnancy is a thing I feel personally comfortable tackling at this point in time, so I might shuffle her, OR take her kits and "hold on" to them so they get born later. Unsure.

I think Peepaw Breezepelt might just feel odd to me because of BB stuff, since he has his first litter with Harestar and Heathertail after BB!OotS. I'll probably end up shuffling Rustle/Stretch to Heathertail's half-brother, Galerunner, but include a little line or something about Breezy-P and The Polycule starting to feel old.

Needlekits......... hm. I could be tempted for the vibe that Needle had kids on accident and Rootspring is stepping in as an uncle parental figure... but ALSO I like the idea a LOT of Rootspring adopting kids one day. I might make them become Root's adopted kids. EDIT: Kitescratch being FCOR is putting the canon pairing in range of Onestar's Exception, so Needleclaw's litter is now even MORE likely to change.

Light's litter with Blaze is expected, that can stay unchanged, though I am starting to consider how to fix the way her character arc was more of a character stumble.

What I'm planning with Sunbeam's litter I can't tell you yet. Not because I don't know what I'm doing with it, but because I love it a lot and I'm grinning just thinking about revealing it. But you can't have it yet. I gotta finish Star. You don't get to know until I finish Star :))))

[zingaplanet]

hi, i adore your blog so much. <3. what are your thoughts on the state of fedal in 2024, especially as we approach (cries) rafa's retirement at davis cup?

Ergh I missed this one sorry! Although this might be prime timing considering what just happened during the retirement. I've been wanting to be as candid on this as possible for a long time and voice what all of their fans are thinking but I'm afraid I might cause quite some pain. So forgive me lovely tennisblr, here are just my two cents:

If you ask me what their relationship is like now, I've got to say I have no idea and I think that's a v telling answer. Fed retired end of 2022 and has been busy doing insane sponsor stuff for the whole year. He still showed up at tennis stuff (e.g., for Andy at Wimbledon, etc) but we can never tell how much engagement he actually has with the players anymore. Hence, even though he mentions Rafa a lot more often than others, I think we need to take it with a grain of salt here because the media sharks are simply pouncing on every opportunity to get a story from this too.

One thing I am quite sad about tho, is how everything after the mega publicised retirement ceremony seems to be a bit too PR-stunty. I get it, the rivalry was a big thing in the tennis world but with that photo going viral and winning all sorts of awards, being used in motivational sports speeches etc - it kinda transcends tennis now. Federer and Nadal have both always been bigger than tennis, but perhaps now that they are getting the attention together, it's getting a bit much.

When they mentioned each other throughout interview snippets all year, only sometimes do we get to see what's going on behind the scenes. Other times, from my perspective, it feels sadly like they have been media briefed after the whole whirlwind about how to make this as positive a press for them as possible without revealing too much. On this, I have to say, Federer is still a maestro - I have never seen an athlete with as much PR talent as him. I work a lot in comms and he is a simple branding wet dream, he says all the right words you want to hear, the same message in many different versions of sentences, but never actually reveals what's going on. Rafa used to be much more of a trainwreck early in his career but he has improved so much with age. He still sometimes, fascinatingly, slipped up tho, and seemingly only during Spanish interviews, when he's a lot more honest. In several of the Spanish tv and radio interviews he did this year, he seemed to hint that on the one hand, Federer is the only one he still speaks to regularly in tennis, but on the other hand, he gives a strange indication that they're not as close as they used to be?

I think it's quite predictable though. After Federer retired, they were now freer to build on the friendship without any of the rivalry hurdles - but at the same time, I think they didn't realise how much the intensity of the rivalry played such a central part in what made "them" special. It's such a push-pull enemies-friends delicate line they've been mastering how to tread all these years. It could be difficult to find footing now that tennis no longer binds them, and their initial obvious differences (you know, the "calm Swiss maestro - passionate Spanish fighter" kinda narrative) begin to show again. I don't necessarily think this means they can't connect without tennis ever again, it's just a bit like your school friends. When you graduate, you no longer have that connection of going to class together or hanging out during recess - but the truest bonds always survived, and after a few rough years, your good friends are still there.

If I'm honest, I think they are at the point where they're a bit unsure what to do with one another but might be forced to play a bit of a part as the media has lumped them "the eternal rivals turned friends fairytale". I honestly feel like the media and public interests might have made it a bit awkward between them. You can see a little bit in their PR stuff - Rafa namedropping Fed a little and sometimes a bit tired when he constantly got asked about Federer in his post-match pressers recently, and Roger doing stuff like the letter. The letter is v generous, heartwarming, and such a loving tribute - and I have no doubt he wrote it himself but it's a v public thing that would've and could've landed better just being delivered in person directly? Or perhaps in a speech for him. But the whole social media stuff seems a bit fishy.

Of course we all don't know what he did or didn't do privately, the same goes to whether this is all really true or they are both just v busy dealing with a big change in their lives (Fed newly retired doing a gazillion sponsor stuff and travelling the world, Rafa dealing with a career ending injury and retirement) - they might simply not have the headspace --or even want-- the other to be such a significant part of their lives at the moment, as these two new things they are experiencing are something uniquely theirs.

The retirement ceremony is a whole other story I could write lots of paragraphs about (don't encourage me!). But I think if we learn something this year, I think it's that athletes unequivocally deserve personal space, and we should never meddle with their personal lives too much.

For the first time in their lives, they will now be fully retired, out of the limelight, able to enjoy all the things we take for granted (like travelling anonymously! or trying out restaurants in new cities)! It's what they deserved after giving us 20+ years of blood, sweat, emotion, and passion on the court and in the limelight. They both owe us nothing. I think if they both disappeared from the spotlight next year (albeit unlikely) or decided to just grow their friendship in private and never appear publicly together again - that is completely their right. We can only show them support and thank them for all the amazing things they did to make our childhood and our lives so wonderful.

[seasaltmemories]

Top AMVs of 2024 - 20 - 11

A more in-depth breakdown of what I am doing can be found here, as well as the past entries here. Today's entries are as follows:

20. Royal Revue by Scoobisms

Audio: One Girl Revolution by Superchick

Visuals: Princess Peach Showtime!

I am always a sucker for gmvs that make use of actual gameplay footage, and Scoobisms pulled off this exact trick with a very unexpected source. It turns out though, that Princess Peach Showtime!’s theatrical setting and variety of outfits/roles for her to try on gives a lot of material for Scoobisms to work with. There is a good balance here with the gameplay footage helping accent the flashy cutscenes while still remaining interesting with little flourishes of internal sync.

This vid is also not lacking at all for personality, and I think the song choice especially helps threads that needle of “fun girl power anthem” while still giving less traditionally feminine aesthetics a chance to shine. A good example is the instrumental break where we get the focus on spy!Peach and all these fun classic espionage scenarios. Overall both Peach and Scoobism put on a great, charming show.

19. Ctrl Alt Delete by ManlyMango (CW: Suicide)

Audio: Did It To Myself by Orla Garland

Visuals: Wonder Egg Priority

I sometimes find I have hot takes when it comes to storytelling in amvs. As much as I try to make sure my prior knowledge of a source doesn’t influence my judgment, I find that compared to clear, linear narratives, I often value visceral, detailed conflicts and emotions even if the exact events are vague. I can’t help but give bonus points when I not only can summarize the video easily, but I feel like we take the time to untangle more complex stories.

Thankfully, plenty of people seem to be in agreement that the storytelling of Ctrl Alt Delete hits hard. I have heard about Wonder Egg Priority’s troubled production/unsatisfying ending, but ManlyMango manages to get to the heart of mess by exploring our protag having to grapple with both monsters and her best friend’s suicide. What she “did to herself” is vague and unspecific (perhaps the fact she didn’t save her friend from her troubled circumstances) but what is important is how clearly it showcases the guilt and frustration she puts upon herself.

And while the music is upbeat and poppy, I love that the ending actively denies us catharsis. No matter what she does, her friend is gone, and we in the audience also just have to sit with that loss. Mango mentioned being surprised with the warm reception it got at several contests, but it really pulls off what could be a convoluted, hard to approach topic with a deft touch.

18. Champagne for the Exes by JazzVids

Audio: Who Do You Blame (Ablainkan Remix) by SAINt JHN

Visuals: Noragami

In comparison, JazzVid’s amv took me a while to get. While the basic premise of a break-up is clear, I was real unsure why Noragami was being used as the source with this song, what motivated her to included a comedy sketch in the middle of the vid, or what purpose the border and text work was for.

Still something about it all together just works for me. There’s a deliberate back and forth between the prideful boasting of the verses with the vulnerability and sincerity of the chorus/outro. And editing-wise, she includes a good amount of slapstick to keep it a fun time, but also plants some set-up and payoff (the fact we don’t see Hiyori’s face clearly until the end for example) that just makes all the disparate elements resonate. It is always a treat to encounter the type of art I might struggle to categorize but that compels me all the same.

17. ToxiCommoner by Spuddstaaa

Audio: You Signed Up For This by Maise Peters

Visuals: The Apothecary Diaries

I am a strong believers that artists should make whatever they want, but it is always exciting to see people explore outsider their comfort zone. Despite being known for more goofy, upbeat vids, Spuddstaaa has spent a lot of 2024 dipping his toe into the drama/sentiments pool and this one is my fave of his experiments.

Outside of the basic premises of the show, I don’t know much about this series or Maomao’s particular struggles, but there still manages to be this engaging underdog narrative to it all. It is nice to see this sorta loser coming of age amv with a female protag, both a bit tongue in cheek yet empathetic. The sparkly overlays really work, as does the dance footage for the climax, and by the end of things I feel the I want to sign up for this gal and all her shenanigans.

16. A Story of Despair and Hope by MarshmallowGoop

Audio: 15 Min Flame by Poets of the Fall

Visuals: Witch Hat Atelier

Although she had worked with some manga elements in the past, MarshmallowGoop said this was her first full on Resolve MMV, and I could barely believe it. There is no fear in using overlays, masks, and animations, to create so many engaging compositions.

The text also deserves special mention. MarshmallowGoops creates some of the most creative captions you might never see if you never consider to toggle them on, but here she goes all out in the vid itself. Not only does she pull from the lyrics of the song, but she also includes the manga text itself, often sync it to strong beats for pacing and dramatic effect. Which for an already tense part of the song, just ups that suspense even more.

She mentions initially wanting to make this vid longer and possibly coming back to this project to expand, but even just this 30 second snippet is such a delight

15. Crossings by AdventLostKaichou

Audio: Stray Italian Greyhound by Vienna Teng

Visuals: Hyouka

There is such a deliberateness to Kaichou’s editing here. Not only does it take a lot of masking to play with the partially coloring going on for most of the vid, but it is used for such delicious slowburn storytelling purposes.

Another commenter mentioned that Hyouka can be a “talking heads” kinda show, and she admitted to really wanting to make sure she didn’t just spend time using the iconic scenes of the show (and it in fact takes us until 1:49 to get some of the more iconic surrealness). So not only does the gradual increase in color help give us some sense of the male lead’s growing feelings, but she also plays with the coloring reverting back to its dull gray haze during moments of repression like at 2:16. By the time we reach the last chorus and the money shots, it is an earned moment of release that really matches the singer’s similarly overwhelming feelings.

The rest of the video is also great of course, but it is that attention to detail and care that makes a concept that could be one-note and cloying really work.

14. Never-Ending Dream by Madmegatex

Audio: Dreamstate by Son Lux

Visuals: Omori

Speaking of tension, this vid is another example of tight, deliberate control. I have never played Omori (although this vid did make me read up on it) so I can’t say how much the cutscenes are just like this or due to her manipulation, but either way, in the hands of a less skilled editor, this could be a very slow and boring vid.

But not only does Madmegatex make use of ever bit of movement and visual interest, but she is very careful in how information is given out. There is a clear structure and rhythm to it, even foreshadowing the central conflict haunting the protagonist. A scene as simple as the protag getting up to play the violin feels as dramatic as any high energy scene thanks to the careful context that has been built.

Despite the oppressive atmosphere dominating most of the vid, the move towards a hopeful conclusion is nice. Its not a clean ending, but it is one the lets you truly breath a sigh of relief, buoyed by the overall pitch perfect pacing.

13. angsty metal by Silent Hero Studios

Audio: Song 2 by Blur

Visuals: FLCL

Silent Hero is a master of just dropping some of the slickest action without any warning, which I guess is true to his name. Song 2 and FLCL feel like the kind of combo that should have existed the minute the anime came out, but whether this is truly the first time this was done, or this is only the latest render, Silent Hero makes it his own.

Not only is the overall flow and all the heavy beats extremely strong, but he is a genius at nailing down a lot of the more understated song elements, such as infectious riff from 1:15 - 1:18 or the singers vocal inflections at 0:51. I am always a sucker for internal sync, and he just makes it look like the easiest thing in the world. By the time it ends, I’m always just ready to cue it up again.

12. NiteLight by Radical Yue

Audio: The Night Out (Madeon Remix) by Martin Solveig

Visuals: Multisource

I can bounce off of big multisource upbeat videos sometimes as I like having something singular to really focus on. But what really keeps me glued to NiteLight is the atmosphere.

The neon aesthetic definitely unites the various sources together, but overall I really like the relaxed pace to it all. There’s a deliberate rise and fall for each drop that keeps the entire vid from just melting into a compilation of sakuga moments. A good example is the two HSR women dancing. While I’ve seen the more dramatic moments of this clip/video, Radical Yue lingers a lot in the flirtation and tenderness. And when the drop needs to drop we can kick into high gear just as easily, with several sweet masks.

Radical Yue mentioned being inspired by "Welcome to the DCC" by TakeshiAMV and Kuroo and how it seemed a celebration of anime in general. She accomplishes a pretty similar goal with this varied and lovely curated source list. It feels like a big party where there is something for everyone to enjoy, whether they are a veteran fan or just got into the medium yesterday.

11. Long Live Shonen by Sean.PNG

Audio: Lost in the Echo - Linkin Park remix by Paul Udarov

Visuals: Multisource

There have been some serious data about the impact Linkin Park has made on amvs. I could pull you up some sources, but I don’t think they’d be telling you anything you don’t already know. So using a remix to update the classic Linkin Park/Shonen formula is the kinda of concept that on its own gets butts in seats.

Best of all, Sean.PNG also kills it on execution. As talented as he is with stringing so many shows together, what really elevates it is how easily he redirects the motion. Some of the struggle I can get when editing action is feeling constrained and stagnant with my flow, but if Sean.PNG ever felt stuck like that, it doesn’t show in the final product. It all flows great without ever falling into predictability, just as comfortable using either subtle masks or basic cuts. Really one of those amvs I was so grateful I got to see on a big screen this year.

[pillowspace]

Sort of a dumb hypothetical I've been spinning my wheels about, but how might have things gone differently if Moon or Eclipse was the injured god Y/N found? That'd might change some lore stuff to explain how and why, I was just thinking about it after the new chapter and meeting Eclipse and wondered what a role-swap would be like

Moon would depend on some things. Is it Sun who's banished from the Mortal Realm, or is Moon still the one banished? Let's say he is still banished. That adds an extra layer of panic, because he has ended up in the realm he's not allowed to be in with no memory of how he got there, and he's frightened that if he does go back home, he'll be severely punished or possibly even killed by the higher gods when they find out. He is filled with anxiety after he wakes up, but also...

He missed this.

He looks around the woods with familiar awe, fascinated by the Mortal Realm's wilderness.

There is an issue here though. If Moon doesn't know what realm travel object got him here, then... he doesn't know how to get back on his own. It certainly wasn't his own pendant, it doesn't work. Moon is hostile towards Y/N at first, but once he tones it down, he convinces Y/N to send a prayer out for Sun to find him. Aaand that's how you could've gotten both blorbos in only the first act.

Let's move onto Eclipse now. Eclipseee... uhhh. For reasons, being trapped in the Mortal Realm could literally kill him, so I'm going to remove a rule to make this work. He is MASSIVE, with legs as tall as you are. He is not getting in your cart, and you wouldn't be able to lift him anyway. So instead, you go home, and return with health supplies. With how ABSOLUTELY STRANGE his body is, uou're unsure if it even helps, but you try to help him right there in the woods. After that, you go into town and pay to borrow a carriage so that you can get him safe into the indoors of your shed. You unfortunately do just have to lie down blankets on the floor and lie him there, as you don't have much else to offer. When he wakes up... now this may be a shock, but he does not threaten you. Not at all. He has gone through too much at the hands of other gods to be frightened by a species he never had much respect for anyway. You are terrified by his presence, but he is grateful, and does you no harm. You know how Sun is stubbornly trying to keep the life debt just a regular debt? Yeah, Eclipse doesn't do that. He immediately seals it into a life debt, pretty much having you own him. This is BIZARRE to you, but Eclipse has been so lonely that he'll literally take company in the form of a life debt, something that any other god would be horrified by. It's honestly a little sad. You refuse to use this life debt, but that's fine. All Eclipse wants is for you to keep him, and I am unsure if he'd even want to return home. There is something important back home, which puts him at a dilemma, but... this one bit of comfort... maybe it's more worth it to stay. TLDR: something is a little wrong with Eclipse

But let's put this into the other angle. Let's put the rules back into a canon state of things. The longer he stays in the Mortal Realm, the sicker and more in agony he becomes. You have to try your hardest to find the realm travel object he used before it's too late. There comes a point where he can no longer even stand, and while you regrettably have to take a break, you mutter reassurances to him that he basks in. If you do get the object to him in time, he'll take it, hesitate, then ask if you'd like to go with him.

There is a bit of lore that contradicts with all of this by the way, so that detail's being ignored. I'm putting us in an AU

[class1akids]

Does Enji regret separating his children?

He seems to not include Shoto in the conversation, and I believe it's because he knows Toya hates Shoto, and it's his fault.

He also parentifies the hell out of Shoto by making him the family hero yet ignores his emotional turmoil of facing Dabi and even now didn't want the rest of the family with him when speaking to Toya especially Shoto.

I am so happy All Might was able to support Shoto, Enji still couldn't step up for any of his children even when his legs gave out.

While Dabi and Endeavor's fates can be argued to have been earned by creating a living hell for the family, the rest of the family got screwed over because of them, especially Shoto now he is dragged by both bloodlines.

I think you have sent several asks along the same lines - sorry, I don't always have the time to answer immediately:

Yes, I think Enji regrets a lot of things. Probably, including separating his kids.

I don't think Touya hates Shouto - if anything he was jealous of him. But I do think that Enji was rather unsure about whether Touya would want to talk to Shouto or vica versa - so I think he was simply tiptoeing around the question. Also, maybe saying that they should use the "extra time Shouto gave them", it is also implied that Shouto has done more than his share for Touya and now it's on the rest of the family. And since the one running out of time is Touya, I think he's the immediate priority.

Shouto being named as family hero was Rei, not Enji. I think actually Enji was the only one who seemed to be pretty uncomfortable with the idea of putting that burden on Shouto.

The family not trying to talk to Shouto about how he feels - I have the feeling that they don't really know how to treat Shouto as youngest child anymore (with the exception of Touya and maybe sometimes Fuyumi)

I guess the Todoroki family narrative shows that in a close-knit unit like a family, consequences for the villains means hurt for everyone. There was no magic cure to have a happy ending when things are this broken, so Horikoshi focused on trying to balance a hopeful narrative around Shouto, Natsuo and Fuyumi being able to move on, with giving a tragic closure to Touya and Enji the consequence where he would have to watch his firstborn son (and arguably the only one of his kids he ever got close to) die again, but with the chance of being there for him.

Yes, it definitely feels like that Shouto is being punished to some extent for his tainted blood and paying for the power born out of greed and jealousy, but at the same time, Horikoshi also gives Shouto the agency and opportunity to rise above his dark origins.

[noelle666]

I am still in a process of exploration of Pathologic VN (original post with info about this game is here) and today I want to share some thoughts on Artemy's story and some of his romances.

WARNING! There will be spoilers.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Originally, as in case with Daniil, I intended to start hetero romance with Lara and basically I did it, but in a clumsy way (I am a bad VN player, remember?) And I would say romance with her is preatty nice and gentle, even a bit funny and very very little spicy in the end of Day 4. I liked her in both original games: in Pathologic she seems pretty humble, maybe a bit unsure in what to do (probably because of her ingame face expression) and in Pathologic 2 I like the story between her, Artemy, Stakh and Bad Grief, I like the way they are bonded as childhood friends.

Maybe I'll try to romance her fully next time, but, to be honest, not sure, because... there is a specific person with a shaved head who crushed me.

Long story short - this is me during Stakh Rubin's romance:

Stakh is a type of person who has very much pain in him, but he works really hard to hide it (but he sometimes fails, like in Pathologic 2 when he acts hostile towards Artemy). In VN writers put some details to his personality to open this inner pain more, and they did it very well, if you ask me: you can learn some details about him during the first plague outbreak, some of his actions towards The Kin people, etc. And when you reach Day 3... boy oh boy...

This guy really literally chushed me with tons of emotions: the scene on Day 3 at the cemetery in front of Isidor's grave is, imo, the peak moment for Artemy and him to, well, basically confess in love and right away become "we", not "you and me". Artemy tells Stakh how he lived and what he felt when he was in the Capital, his fear of reading father's letter and how he remembered "a boy who squeezed his fists and begged my father to let us got to The Capital together while tears came to his eyes".

This route may look like a typical cliche story of childhool friends, one of whom fell in love with another and was hiding it for a long time, and then they got separated for several years, but, honestly, I don't remember I've ever cried that much playing through the WHOLE romance. This poor shaved head made me feel huge desire to protect him and hold in my/Artemy embrace as long as possible. And I also don't want to fail Lara, who said: "Burakh. I just hope you will not break his heart. Again. And if you even try to offend him, remember - I still have my father's revolver". And I cannot do it, my whole being right now protests from other options to try. Pretty much the same situation with Daniil and Block - I don't really want to try another romances cause I found my "comfort zone", I think. Plus the way Stakh got along with Murky... It feels like kids will have another father in their family. Well, I hope for that. =D

[ravennaortiz]

Companion piece can be found here.

Summary: Gilly has always known you were the one. Even when he pushed you away. For years he tortured himself until one day you came back home to Santo Padre to stay. As always 18+, general themes of the show.

Word Count: 1.6K

"So you gonna get the balls to ask her out or what?" inquired Coco as he slid into the chair next to Gilly who had been watching you play pool with Angel. Gilly sighed as he took a drink of his beer. "I don't know that I deserve her man. Not after how I ended things" he replied remorsefully. "I mean she seems like the forgiving type. Boy Scout and Angel broke that Snowman thing her mama got her and she forgave them. Not like you beat the shit out of her or something heinous" shrugged Coco as he fixed his gaze on his best friend.

Gilly pondered the events of the last few weeks. Coco had a fair point about your forgiving nature. Though he still couldn't look back on that fateful day he had up ended both your lives and not feel like an ogre. "You spent over three grand on a snowman. Don't act like she's not special. We all see it man. Forgive yourself for being an idiot and then get your girl" Coco stated firmly before casting a look over to where you and Angel were laughing. "If you don't make your move soon. One of us will have too" he added with a grin. "None of you are man enough for her" snapped Gilly his eyes flashing with anger at the idea of one of his brothers putting moves on you.

"Simmer down" muttered Coco as he laughed at how easily Gilly had been riled. "Seriously though. We all like her man. She fits in well. Like she's always been around. Gilly rolled his eyes "You just like the free food Coco". Coco shrugged before standing up. "What can I say I'm a simple man. Gilly laughed loudly "Simple is right".

The next morning Gilly woke up with you on his mind. Which wasn't unusual but this time he could feel your presence like you were next to him in his bed. He rolled over breathing deeply into the pillow and could almost make out your scent. The conversation last night with Coco had only spurred his feelings on. He knew he needed to tell you he still had feelings for you. That he had never stopped but he was unsure if you would be accepting. Had too much time passed for him to make amends? Yes you had let him back into your life but he could still feel a wall between the two of you that he wasn't sure he could break through. He got dressed quickly knowing he needed to make a couple stops before he went over to your house.

***

Gilly kneeled down in front of the headstone and pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and dusted it off. He then put the wildflower bouquet into the vase next to it before taking a deep breath. He was more nervous then he expected given that he had been doing this routine every week for several months and speaking to the dead wasn't unusual for him.

"Morning Mama Kay" he uttered as he cleared his throat. "Your little girl is still doing fine, I know you know that" he chuckled to himself. "She sure misses ya a lot. I do too. You always saw the good in me and were the only adult who gave a damn about me. You gave me a sanctuary from war zone I was born into. I hope you know how thankful I was growing up." A burst of wind pushed at him out of no where. "Alright, alright no need to shove" Gilly mumbled as he put his hands up in defeat.

"I guess what I came here to say is I am gonna finally ask her to give me a second chance. I know I don't deserve one and honestly she is still too good for me. I know my lifestyle is.....dangerous but I promise you I would never let anything happen to her." Gilly paused as he collected his thoughts trying to stop the rambling. He could hear Mama Kay's voice telling him to get to the point. Gilly took a deep breath then turned his face up to the sky. " I'm ready to be the man she needs and I just want to know if that is okay with you?" blurted Gilly as he bowed his head and closed his eyes. Several minutes passed before he felt a gentle warmth brush his cheek. "Thank you Mama Kay" he whispered before kissing the headstone and getting up to head back to his bike.

***

Gilly sat waiting for your answer. You nodded and looked down at your mug of tea as you considered what Gilly had told you. The difference of this conversation versus the one that gutted you was not lost on you. He had laid all his cards on the table. He could only hope you had forgiven him for being a dumb kid all those years ago when he had broken up with you hours before getting on a plane for his first deployment. He had been in love with you since that first crooked smile you had flashed his way in eight grade. By your freshmen year the two of you were a couple and glued to each others sides through high school and your first two years of college.

He did his best to tell you he was not the right man for you and never would be. That he could never provide you the life you wanted and deserved. He remembered almost giving in when you dropped to your knees into the dirt and gravel latching onto his pant leg as you pleaded with him. You told him how much he meant to you and that you loved him and wanted only him forever. You denied his words that he wasn't enough or good enough for your love. The tears poured down your face and the urge to wipe them away was overwhelming. He choked back his own sob as he pried you off him and picked you up.

Squeezing your arms just enough to quiet your sobs he drove the final nail home. "Tell me why you can't get it through your head I don't want you any more" he had asked you. He watched every emotion play across your face before you quietly asked "Why? Why are you being so cruel?" He never gave you an answer he just simply let you go and turned his back on you. Your sobs echoed in his head every night as he recalled getting in his car and driving away.

You didn't know this but he only got a half mile down the road before he was sobbing himself. He was only going to stay in the military for so long but each time he set foot on U.S soil his actions hit him like a ton of bricks all over again. He could only blame himself for his loneliness. Which is why he had reached out to Mama Kay. Wanting to feel a connection back home but also wanting to see how you were doing. He had been pleased to get a letter back that was full of warmth, love and a photo of the two of you.

Reaching across the table you took his hand in yours and swallowed hard. If this was going to work you were going to have to tell him a secret that you had harbored all these years. That you had banned your mother from telling him as well once you realized they had reconnected. Gilly watched you closely and held his breath as he watched two tears trail down your cheeks. "I never stopped loving you Gilly. You were always the one for me too. I want to try again too" you started as he smiled happily at you.

"I need to tell you something though first". You were getting ready to hurt him and you hated yourself for it. "I was pregnant." you whispered as you looked down at the table unable to see the pain crush the bear of a man in front of you. Gilly felt like a train had ran him over as his brain rushed to understand. The implication of your words hit him. Not only had he left you while you were in a vulnerable state but something had happened as well. Gilly blinked back tears. Monsters don't get to grieve he thought to himself.

You tensed as you heard Gilly get up from his chair and your heart dropped. You were losing him again. Sobs wracked your body as you felt the pain of both losses all over again. "Shhhh. Its okay" murmured Gilly as he knelt next to you grabbing your hands in his. "I'm not going anywhere. Right here is where I want to be" he added as you cried into his shoulder.

After a few moments you had calmed down some. Gilly carefully used his thumb to brush the lingering tears from your face. "May I ask what happened?' he asked quietly as he met your eyes. You simply nodded as your heart clenched and your stomach rolled at the memory. "I was depressed, scared and angry. The pregnancy was so extremely difficult and we were high risk on top of everything. I was bedridden for most of it in the hopes not working and such would help with the stress and symptoms.

I went into labor too early still, ended up going into cardiac arrest and she didn't make it. She was a tiny little thing and she fought like hell to live but...." you stated just shaking your head as the memories played in your mind. The whirring of machines, panic stricken faces, yelling nurses and doctors as they tried to save both of you. Then the darkness came as you started to fade away. The next thing you remember was waking up to your Mama praying over you as she squeezed your hands.

"I'm so sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything and it won't fix what happened or fix the pain" stated Gilly as he caressed your cheek gently. "This news doesn't change how I feel about you though. I hope you know that". "I will always regret what I did and that I wasn't here for you.

You closed your eyes as you leaned into the tender caresses letting his words wash over you. "I've felt like a failure for so long Gilly. Couldn't keep my man, couldn't be pregnant correctly, couldn't keep my baby alive. I felt like I was never suppose to know love, kindness or grace. Mama always told me I was wrong. She always talked highly of you." you murmured as you thought back onto some of your moms last words.

"Gilly was a scared boy who made a mistake. We all make mistakes. Its how you fix a mistake that matters.

"Your mama was something special. Just like you" replied Gilly as he smiled before leaning forward and gently placing a kiss on your lips. "Let me love you and cherish until death knocks for us" he whispered as he pulled back slightly. "I love you" you murmured before meeting his lips again.

***

Kneeling down at the tiny bear shaped tombstone you gently cleaned away the dirt and weeds as your hands shook slightly. "Sofia, my sweet angel. I want you to finally meet your daddy" you murmured as you looked up at Gilly who had tears in his eyes. "Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry I wasn't there when you needed me the most." stated Gilly as he moved to his knees and laid a bouquet of flowers down before kissing the tombstone.

[reds-fluff-extravaganza]

You thought I wouldn't appear here too, but I'm a very special gal, so here I am 👁👁

Fairy anon is here babyyyyy 🧚🏻‍♀️

Tbh I was gonna use this as an oportunity to tell you to do a oneshot about one of my headcanon requests, so let's go with my last one, with Reader being Grey's sibling and Glitchy Red being a sweetheart for once (LOL)

... I couldn't find another inspiring pokemon quote that I liked, so have a rare candy 🍬

I hope this is okay! Also thank you for the rare candy I need it today. Also here is the headcanon fairy anon mentioned!

You and Grey never thought you would end up in a Pokemon game, let alone a bootleg one. So when you two woke up in the bootleg world together, Grey was very nervous and a little scared. You tried your best to be brave for him, but even this was a bit too much for you. Over the short amount of time you two had been there, you had met one of the bootleg Pokemon, Shinto, who reminded you of a bootleg version of the Pokemon Hypno. While Grey was practically terrified of her, you became friends with her and you keep trying to convince Grey that she’s not going to hurt the two of you.

Unfortunately, you two have no idea how much time has actually passed since the two of you have been trapped inside the bootleg game, since… you don’t have a way of keeping time in this world, not even Shinto knows. You have figured out a way to communicate with her through the use of the pokedex that Grey had woken up with in his bag, as she can manipulate her pokedex entry, which was new to you but hey, whatever works.

You were playing with Shinto, just having a bit of fun while Grey was just watching you two from nearby. That is, until a glitched figure came up to him, not noticing you and Shinto. He reminded Grey of trainer Red, but very glitchy. He had caught Grey off guard, not expecting anyone else in this bootleg world aside from you, him and Shinto. He decided talking to him, he found out his name was Glitchy Red. Maybe he knew a way to get out of here? It was worth a shot to ask him.

You, on the other hand, had noticed the interaction between Glitchy Red and your brother. You occasionally glanced over at the two, but still playing with Shinto.

“…actually, I’m not by myself.” You heard Grey tell him as he pointed out over to you and Shinto, who had crawled up onto your shoulder. You walked over to the two, introducing yourself as Grey’s older sibling. It was at that moment that Glitchy Red decided that he was going to keep you both safe. Why? Not even he knew. He just had this feeling in the back of his mind that he had to protect you two.

After talking to the two of you for a while longer, Glitchy Red left, saying he would be back again soon. You thought he was pretty nice, or at least to you and Grey. Grey was a little unsure at first, but seeing as he hasn’t done anything to harm either of you, he would trust him for now, but only because of how you trust him, which he didn’t really understand how you could, but he knew he could trust you, and your judgement, at least.

“I think he’s nice.” You shrugged as you, Grey, and Shinto stepped into your little home, Shinto crawling out of your arms and back onto the floor.

“I know you think so, but we don’t know for sure yet, Y/n. We can’t trust him right away…”

“I am aware of that, Grey.” You pat his head and went over to the couch. “But he’s the only one here that we’ve seen that isn’t one of those stupid NPCs! We’ve got to at least give him a chance.”

“Alright, alright.” Grey shook his head and sat beside you on the couch.

“Besides, you know Shinto and I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”

“Yeah… that’s true.” He rubbed the back of his head, sighing softly. “Just… we need to be careful, that’s all.” You only nodded in agreement, taking his words into consideration.

Over the course of what felt like several months, but hey what do you know, you can’t really tell time in this world, you and Grey have gotten closer to Glitchy Red, especially you. He’s a little protective of you, even around the NPCs. Grey has noticed this, of course, and he was a little curious about this. So he decided to talk to him while you were out playing, or rather walking around, with Shinto.

“Hey, Glitchy Red..?” He started, looking up at the taller male, who looked down at Grey with a look of ‘go on, I’m listening,’

“I’ve noticed you’ve gotten pretty close to Y/n.” He swore he saw him flinch a bit, but decided not to question it. “I’m not surprised, though.. because they like you a lot. I guess to be fair though, you’re the only one we’ve seen in what feels like years… and the fact that you keep coming back, it makes them happy to see you.” Glitchy Red seemed a bit surprised by Grey’s words. You liked him?

“…I do like Y/n, a lot. I’ve never… felt this way towards anyone else before.”

“Then, you should tell them how you feel.”

“Are you sure about this, Grey..?” He seemed a bit nervous about confessing his feelings towards you.

“Absolutely sure. I want to see Y/n happy, and you make them happy, Glitchy Red. So you should go for it!” Glitchy Red nodded before he stood up.

“Thank you, Grey, I’ll do it.”

“Great! They should be back shortly.” And as if on cue, you and Shinto walked through the door.

“We’re back! Oh, hello again, Glitchy Red.” You looked over at him as you closed the door behind you.

“Hello Y/n.”

“Come on, Shinto, let’s go and play a game in the other room.” Shinto, at the mention of another game, hopped off your shoulder and followed after Grey, who went to another room. You were a bit confused by this, but you shrugged and sat by Glitchy Red. He looked over at you, a faint smile on his face, which you almost didn’t notice. You always thought he was really cute, but you weren’t going to admit that out loud to him.

“Thanks for keeping an eye on Grey while I was out. I know he doesn’t really need it, but it’s nice to know he’s safe.”

“You’re welcome, Y/n.” He wanted to move closer to you, but he wasn’t sure if his glitches were going to affect you or not, and he didn’t want to risk hurting you. It was silent for a few minutes, not an awkward one, but a nice comfortable silence, that is… until Glitchy Red spoke up.

“Y/n…” he turned to look right at you.

“Hmm?” You looked up at the taller male, tilting your head slightly, as if to give him the go ahead to keep talking.

“I’ve been… thinking about something.”

“What is it?”

“Since that day I met you and Grey… I’ve been having these feelings… ones I haven’t felt in a long time.” You were about to ask him to elaborate until he continued,

“I… love you, Y/n.” You were shocked to say the least. He felt the same way towards you! He took your silence as something bad, that you didn’t feel the same way.

“It’s… fine if you don’t feel the s-“

“I love you too, Glitchy Red.” You moved closer to him and hugged him, which caused him to flinch, as he wasn’t expecting the sudden hug.

“I’m… glad you feel the same way.” He said just loud enough for you to hear before he kissed your forehead and hugged you back. Sure, this was going to take some time for him to get used to, but with you by his side, he didn’t mind it at all. Especially since you weren’t affected by his glitches, which was a good thing for both of you, and eased his worry that he was going to hurt you because of them.

Unbeknownst to the two of you, however, Grey and Shinto had been listening to… most of the conversation, and both were very happy for you! However, if he did anything to hurt you, both would be after him in a heartbeat.

[castlebyersafterdark]

Unless I am remembering wrong the boys both went down to atl to start filming earlier like a month before everyone else or something right? I remember seeing that mentioned before as like byler proof or whatever. What if they started early to film some of the romantic shit first, specifically the big kiss or whatever which had to be top secret, and that kiss set things in motion to the point that when others got down there those two were already fwb and Noah saying “I’m single … yep…. yep… yep very single” on his live back in the early days of filming (jan maybe? I forgot what month it was but it was early and he was like lying in his bed doing a live) was the earliest moment we have of him sort of passive aggressively bemoaning the fwb status. I do remember people on gossip blogs around here pointing out how it seemed weird how he mentioned his single hood several times in that live 👀 maybe it was his first instance of being kinda pissy about it. Dude wanted a boyfriend and kinda made that clear prior to filming (he seemed kinda sad when mentioning he was single) so imagine finally getting together with a longtime crush and he’s just like hey it’s casual! no strings! just a situationship! like that would annoy for certain lol

I feel like hearing rumors about them going down earlier to film, learned right before the strikes and everything, was one of the things that really flagged me into Byler being so onnnnn, beyond just show analysis. Was that actually a true rumor? Unsure, but it made me even more insane no matter what. Just fun thinking back on all the quaint things from back before this blog, this corner was found, and when I was a calm enjoyer and observer in this fandom haha. Look at us now!!

Interesting thought that the romantic scenes might have been filmed first - I have heard about that for some productions, do it at the beginning (but that makes it weird sometimes because the chemistry hasn't been worked out, the tension from filming and getting into characters isn't as deep - I prefer the thought of saving it for the end or just doing it when it makes sense for the story, though they wildly shoot this show out of order, we know this).

Definitely no matter what - I think they were definitely at some point FWB or casual. And maybe it developed and we just aren't privy to the reality that it's serious since social media is pointed and privacy is protected, or they're still in the tense on/off, what are we WHAT ARE WE stage. They both conflicted and going insane about things, life getting in the way now It's all fun and interesting to me. I like the speculation!! Maybe I'm odd for that!!

[amelikos]

Some character and episode notes from HZ006, writing them down for future reference! I wrote a separate post regarding Amethio.

- Liko called Amethio by name during her narration at the beginning of the episode. It’s the first time she does and I’ve been really curious about how she would address him. Amethio called Liko “Liko-san” in HZ001 and that was also the only time he called her by name. Keeping track of how characters refer to each other.

- Amethio takes Liko and Roy seriously as opponents (he doesn’t taunt them about their difference in power), which I like. Liko doesn’t feel like she could win just yet (and I like that this is something she actually thinks about and that she doesn’t overestimate herself), but she still wants to battle together with Roy and tries to think up of a strategy. I think they’ll want to grow stronger to be able to protect themselves against The Explorers in the future, so I hope they’ll improve together. 

- Friede doesn’t like being called a professor but he said in this episode that as a professor, the mystery around Rayquaza intrigue him so he wants to investigate. Also, Roy’s grandpa found the Ancient Pokeball on the beach when he was young (so it was a coincidence) but didn’t really seem interested in finding out more about it? Meanwhile, Roy was always curious and had the mind of an adventurer. I am also curious about how Liko’s grandma got the pendant: did she find it randomly or was it passed down on to her?

- It was cute how Lizardon gave Hogator the Pokeball to encourage it to become Roy’s partner! I like the dynamics between these two. Hogator looks up to Lizardon and in turn, Lizardon really watches over Hogator. I wonder if Roy and Friede will have this kind of dynamics as well. They had nice bits already: Friede congratulating Roy for becoming a trainer (and encouraging him several times), and including him in the crew at the end by giving him the task of raising the Brave Asagi flag.

- I liked the whole scene with Roy telling Hogator his feelings, that he doesn’t want to say goodbye yet and wants to keep singing together. And Hogator giving Roy the Pokeball, showing that it wants to become Roy’s partner too. The way Roy sings Hogator’s song in joy after catching it too! It was heartwarming. They are both so genuine and I’m looking forward to their growth. Liko was so happy for them too. Also, I guess Roy is the first trainer on his island? 

- Roy felt unsure whether his grandpa would let him go on a journey. I actually like this kind of hesitation since usually it’s rarely questioned to let kids go on a journey like that in the anime. Roy’s grandpa could see through him and knew that Roy would want to go on a journey, he just wanted to hear Roy’s resolve clearly. He is supportive! Roy used the word “dream” too (when he used the word “plan” before that). I also like the distinction between Roy’s dream and Hogator’s dream. Roy has his own dream of finding Legendary Pokemon, and Hogator has his own dream of becoming stronger like Lizardon. It’s neat when Pokemon have their own wishes like that. Trainers and Pokemon both helping each other reach their respective dreams. 

- It stood out to me that Liko attributed her meetings with everyone to her grandmother’s pendant at the end. Perhaps she sees it like fate? It’s interesting because she takes into account the positive meetings and we know that she is going to meet other people (like Spinel) who are after her because of the pendant. And she met Amethio through the pendant too. There are many types of connections through the pendant. Also, I like when Roy corrected himself and said “our adventure starts here” (and not just “my adventure”), like he is including Hogator and Liko too. Overall, I enjoyed the setup of Liko and Roy’s dynamics. Liko was more assertive than I thought she would be by encouraging Roy to take a step forward and sharing what she learned with Nyaoha with Roy and Hogator. They click together well. 

[lunarmourning]

Ok hi i have just one quick thing to ask. Can you explain the times where you've gone into servers and gcs and told greg you were mad at her and then when asked why you didn't tell it???

hi I don't usually like to answer these on my Tumblr especially since the situation has so much more than I could ever explain from an ask (when I say every situation I've been accused of has two sides, I mean it! I know for a fact that a lot of the stories people heard are lacking so much context) and I am really not comfortable airing trauma I haven't fully revovered from on Tumblr but I will answer this one. If I'm assuming what you're referring to right (if I'm not, don't be afraid to shoot another ask! i haven't gotten a lot of explanation of what I did wrong from. anybody. Also I am in no way uncomfortable with someone reaching out to me through dms, I would not be mad at anyone who got wrapped up in this situation for wanting to talk. Even Greg, I promise I would be comfortable with dming with her about if asked). (warning this is gonna be rambley, I just woke up)

I assume this would be when I would talk in a gc about my feelings in the relationship. I would like to explain that the only times I've talked about Greg in a gc were when I was mid breakdown or meltdown (often triggered by Greg doing or saying something triggering and then just. leaving me alone. which, happened several times.). Also, I would never talk with anyone that I knew Greg was friends with. I didn't feel like my breakdown gave me the right to ruin anyones relationship or perception on it. Which is, genuinely, the only reason I never came to anyone from the sunshine cult for support about her in my relationship because of how. many toxic that had been done to me in the relationship (which is the reason I eventually broke up with her after months of consideration, and the reason I blocked her. I felt sick talking to it and kept getting flashbacks. just generally felt uncomfortable and decided the best thing would to put distance. I in no way meant to hurt her through this). So, I talked with friends she didn't know very well (like Pip! hi Pip thank you for being supportive when my ex was being weird about my disability). I would like to repeat, I would only do this mid breakdowns.

About not communicating that I was mad. i literally. did. and tried. so many times. One of my earliest problems in the relationship is that we just didn't communicate at ALL. And Greg kept repeatedly hurting me because of it. It got to the point I was scared of her. I tried multiple times to talk about how the things she was doing was hurting me and every time I would be shut down and given excuses. Like that she didn't know how to communicate (I'm actively getting hurt here and I'm trying to express that. so we would end the conversation, I would have a breakdown alone in my room and she would go to bed. and it would happen again. I would like to say in a relationship where both people [likely,I am unsure if I have It fully yet. still researching] have bpd, that communicating is SO important and the lack of it is why we both feel we were hurt in the relationship. Greg never expressed when I was hurting her so I never knew. And I would like to say that it's valid and I'm so so sorry if I hurt you, but if you had told me I would've stopped in a fucking heartbeat. I told you when you hurt me, you just didn't care.). Or that she was dissociating (which is okay!!! often times I didn't even know and then I would be in "trouble" for trying to make her talk In that. Pls I promise if you had expressed that you would talk about this later and not just use it as an excuse for not talking about it ever I would be okay!!! it's just when every single time on four or more occasions, every time I was trying to express how I was getting hurt from toxic behavior. Also a lot of these dissociations wouldn't come until I tried to communicate so. hm. and this happened every time). So after repeated times (throughout MONTHS) communicating things that she would do over and over again, I kinda. gave up. If I ever told her I was mad and didn't explain, I'm so sorry and looking back that was wrong of me to do. but. I did. i did tell her. and after getting yelled at and ignored for hours to days on end for simply trying to fix something that had hurt me. i gave up. Can you blame me for making a stupid decision with someone who would never listen?

Greg at some point also sent screenshots of me trying to communicate for the final time before I gave up to people without my permission. My friend, who actually talked to me about my side of the situation unlike everyone else, sent me what Greg sent. And I was not surprised to see how much of that conversation was cropped out. A lot of the stories being told about me are half-truths, with things left unsaid to make me seem like a bad person.

(this situation also has a lot more behind it so please don't take this statement as all of it. Both this singular accusation and everything else has SO much context. This is simply me trying to explain one or two situations. Like I said, if anyone has any questions about another situation don't be afraid to reach out. I would be happy to talk to anyone who was willing to listen.)

[influentcomic4]

The Walking Dead: North Wind

This is an original story that I've been working on that's set within TWD. What I'm posting here is arcs 1 to 4, and I'm currently working on arc 5. The whole thing is MAYBE about halfway done. @r0ry-the-great I hope you enjoy it, it's fairly long so if it take's you a while that's completely fine. I'd love to hear the notes that anyone has, or any errors you notice. I'll likely have to post it in chunks, so check my profile for other parts!

The Walking Dead:

North Wind

Arc 1:

Home Sweet Home

Before the Storm

There are some days that I wish the world would just end. Or that something would happen so that I don’t have to live the same day over and over. My husband leaves for work at 7:30 every morning, and gets home at 6. And here I am, making god damn Mac and Cheese for the five thousandth time. But hey, that’s what you get when someone knocks you up when you’re still in high school. I love my kids, but some days I just wish something different would happen. Sara asks me to help her do her hair every morning, and Jacob plays his Mario or whatever the fuck. 

“SOUP’S ON!” I shout as I slide my long, curly black hair out of my face. I place two bowls on the table as the pitter patter of feet on the carpet draws closer. They both sit down and start eating.

“You make the best Mac and Cheese mom!” Jake says as he looks up at me with his freckled face.

“Trust me boy, I know, I’ve been living off the stuff longer than you’ve been alive.” I run my fingers through his short black hair. He gets his hair colour from me, Sara gets hers from her dad, she got my curls though her hair is shorter than mine too. He laughs, but I know it went over his head. I put the pot in the sink and start washing it.

“Mom, can we please come to the hospital with you this time?” Sara asks, “I want to see grandpa one last time before-”

“I told you before Sara, he’s not going to die.” I probably lie, “Besides, do you guys really want to sit in a boring hospital for several hours, or do you want to go out with your Uncle?”

“UNCLE MARK!” Jake shouts.

“Seems to me like he’s decided.”

“Ugh, fine.” Sara crosses her arm then pulls out her phone. He’s not in great shape after his heart attack, and that’s not how I want them to remember him. I close my eyes and breath heavily as I get back to washing the pot. After Jacob practically inhales his bowl, he goes over to the TV and turns it on, the news is on.

“A new video has surfaced online showing what appears to be a man attacking and… eating… another person in the streets of Los Angeles.” I grab the remote from him, “We are unsure about the validity of this video but we wi-” I change the channel.

“Let’s not watch that.” God, people will believe anything they see online these days. I highly doubt that people are just going around eating people on the street. The only way it could possibly be real is if it’s some drug that’s making them do that, but again, I highly doubt it. Some time goes by, I do some small chores, just some things to pass the time while we wait for Mark to get here. I hear the doorbell ringing, and Jake runs to the door.

“Hey buddy!” I hear Mark say as he walks in the door. I walk over to the door to greet him.

“Hi Elsie.” He says, putting Jake down on the ground.

“Hey, Mark.” I hug him, “Thanks for agreeing to do this for me.”

“Of course, you know I love spending time with them.” I grab my purse as Mark helps Jake put on his shoes, and the four of us shuffle into Mark’s car. As we drive through the city, I just stare out the window, watching everything go by. I was born here in Edmonton, lived here all my life. As much as I hated it growing up, I never left. Even when I had the chance to, I could’ve gone to the University of Calgary, University of Alberta, even BC, but I just had to stay here. I don’t know if I’ll ever leave, especially now. I wouldn’t want to just uproot my family’s lives, plus Simon would bitch about it since he has a good paying office job. But, home’s home, and my parents are here, so I wouldn’t want to leave them either. Fuck, I want to go somewhere else, explore the world, something, ANYTHING!

“SHIT!” Mark shouts, jerking the car to the side.

“The hell…?” I look over at him, Mark looks in the rear view mirror.

“Fucking crack heads I swear to god.” I look behind us, and see a dirty man stumbling across the road. That’s Edmonton for you I suppose, home sweet home.

Fall

Mark’s car pulls up in the front of the Royal Alexandra Hospital. I sigh heavily looking at the entrance.

“You ok?” Mark puts a hand on my shoulder. I have no idea how we came from the same parents, he was always able to build muscle way easier than me. I don’t know where my high metabolism came from, but Mark could probably break me in half with two fingers.

“Yeah…” I wipe a tear from my eye, then turn to him and smile, “Thank you.” I open the door and step out.

“I’ll be here in a couple hours, call me if you want me to come sooner.”

“Thank you, I will.” I stick my head in the car and look in the back, “Love you two, see you soon.”

“Bye mom!” Jake shouts.

“Bye.” Sara says, less excitedly. I close the door, waving as I turn around towards the doors. They slide open automatically as I step up to them. The lobby is large, full of people, some having worse days than I am, but some having better. I walk down the hall, towards an elevator. I step nervously outside of it as I wait for one to come down, tapping my foot as I lean against the wall. The elevator dings as the doors slide open, I step inside, hitting the button for the third floor. A sort of calm washes over me as I stand in the quiet empty elevator. Almost like it’s my own little pocket dimension, where the troubles of the world can’t bother me anymore. But that all goes away the second the doors slide open, and I’m forced to step outside, into the hallway. I walk into my dad’s room, the unfortunately all too familiar sound of the heart monitor rings out. Mom sees me and stands up to hug me.

“Hello, dear.” She kisses me on the cheek, her wrinkled skin feels weird on my face.

“Hi mom, how’s dad been?” I look over at him.

“He’s still asleep, but… but he’s been good.” I sit down in a chair beside the bed, I look at him, tears in my eyes, “I’ll give you some time with him.” Mom walks towards the door, closing it behind her. After she leaves, I close my eyes. There’s no better way to describe how he looks than like shit, there’s no way to sugar coat it. He’s still bald, so no change there, but he’s a lot thinner, practically skin and bone at this point.

“Hey dad, I… I miss you, the kids miss you. They wanted to come see you today, but… I don’t want them to remember you like this. I want them to remember how you were, smiling, and joking.” I chuckle, then go back to crying, “Fuck… I just… I don’t know.” I sit there in silence, just, taking everything in.

A few hours pass, mom and I sit in the room, talking with each other. Nothing really happens. I zone out for a while, get lost in another world for a while, but I’m interrupted by the door to the room opening, and… Mark walks in, the kids behind him.

“Mark?” I stand up, confused why they’re here.

“I’m sorry, they just wouldn’t stop asking.” I just sigh. I didn’t want the kids to see him like this.

“It’s fine, just… it’s fine.” I guess it isn’t the worst thing for them to see him one last time.

“We brought Tim’s though!” Mark waves out a box of timbits, I can’t help but chuckle as he places it down on the bedside table. We all sit in the room, the heart monitor continuing to ring out. Jake tries to convince his grandma to take her on a walk around the halls. She eventually obliges just to get him to shut up. He cheers as they walk out the door.

“Why don’t you go with them, Sara?” I nudge her, she glares at me, and groans.

“Fine.” She stands up, and walks out the door to follow. I sit back in my chair and close my eyes.

“You ok?” Mark asks.

“Yeah, just… tired of everything.”

“I understand what you’re saying.” He laughs, “But we’re still here, so we gotta fight.”

“Yeah… I guess…” I sit up in my chair, “How goes your love life?”

“What the fuck?” He laughs loudly.

“I don’t know.” I throw my arms out, “It’s the first question I thought of.”

“Well, I was talking with someone, but he kind of was an asshole.”

“Want me to kick his ass for you?” I turn to face him.

“I’d love that.” He smiles warmly, “I’ll join you.”

More time passes, the heart monitor starts driving me mad as I sit there. I keep my cool though, and I don’t let it make me actually crazy. Suddenly, the beeping gets slightly faster.

“Is that bad…?” I think out loud.

“I… I don’t know…” Mark stands up. The beeping gets even faster, and an alarm starts ringing out. Mark runs up to dad.

“What do we do!?” I look around the room. Then, right as doctors enter, the monitor flatlines.

“Dad…?” Mark whispers. Mom and the kids return as the doctors start chest compressions.

“Oscar!?” Mom shouts out. I grab her and hug her closely.

“They’re going to help him, let them help him.” Mark puts the kids behind him and motions them outside, mom follows. The doctors try to revive him with defibrillators, but nothing brings him back. They back away, as they turn off the monitor.

“I’m sorry…” A doctor places a hand on our shoulders, “We’ll give you time with him.” Tears flow down my face as I approach him. Out in the hall I hear the muffled cries of mom. Mom and the kids walk in the room, Mark sits down beside the bed, and puts his hand on dad’s arm. We all just kind of sit there in silence, none of us know what to do, what to think, even Jake is silent, which he never does. The silence is eventually broken, not by someone talking, but soft groans, from… dad?

“Dad…?” I whisper. Suddenly, dad lunges forward, biting Mark on the wrist. He cries out in pain as blood pours onto the bed.

“FUCK! DAD, STOP!” He shouts, trying to push dad off of him. I jump up to try and help, trying to move dad’s head back. He refuses to let go though. Mark eventually resorts to punching dad in the head. More doctors rush in after hearing the commotion. They all wrestle him down as we leave the room.

“Are you ok Mark!?” I shout, the kids crying, I do my best to console them.

“F-fuck…” He covers the wound with his hand, blood dripping onto the floor, “I-I-I.. I don’t know.” A doctor comes out of the room, a bandage in her hand.

“Let me help.” She grabs Mark’s arm, and starts wrapping it up.

“Thank you.” Mark says through grit teeth.

“What’s happening?” Mom asks.

“I don’t know…” The doctor pauses, “But I’d go home if I were you, and stay there.” I look down at Jake, who’s wrapping his arms around me. Mark puts his hand over the bandage on his arm.

“Ok… ok…” I can feel my heart almost pounding through my chest. The five of us quickly shuffle through the halls, people running around. We round a corner, and see someone biting someone else in the neck. He screams as blood sprays, and he slides to the ground. Jake screams, I pick him up, Mark manages to pick up Sara.

“Don’t look.” I can hear Jake crying as we jog towards the stairwell.

All of us cram into Mark’s car. It’s big enough where we all fit, just the backseat is a little cramp. I get in the driver's seat so Mark can rest his arm. I turn the key, and the engine roars to life. I throw the car in reverse and quickly back out of the parking spot. I grip the steering wheel tightly as I drive. We pass several wrecks, people running through the streets, people looting, people bleeding out in the street.

“Mom?” Jake whimpers.

“Yes hun?” I say, my eyes not moving from the road.

“Why did grandpa become a monster?” My stomach thinks.

“I-I don’t know Jake.” I put my hand on my forehead, “I just don’t know…” Police cars drive through the streets, setting up barricades and checkpoints. The sound of gunshots rings through the city. As I drive, Mark turns on the radio, someone is speaking, their voice frantic.

“-a drill, repeat, this is not a drill. Stephan Harper has sent out an alert to all Canadians. There is a national emergency, we don’t have all the information right now, but… it’s bad. People are coming back from the dead, and they… fuck… they attack anyone they see. We’ve heard that the West Edmonton Mall is being set up as a safezone, if you’re able to, go there. If you are unable to safely make it there, STAY! HOME! Do not go out unless absolutely necessary. Do not let anyone in, even if they look like someone you know. I don’t know what causes it, I don’t know if it’s certain people, or everyone or… or… I’ll do my best to give you any information I can as it becomes available. Goodluck everyone, and may God save us all.” I put my hand over my mouth as I process what was said.

Home Sweet Home

The bell echoes through the halls, and all of us pack up our bags and leave the class. Me and my friends Sasha and Emma exit the class, ready to go home. We open our lockers and toss out shit inside then slam them shut.

“You going to David’s party this weekend?” Sasha asks, her dark curly brown hair bounces, almost like it's weightless.

“I don’t know… my mom will be pissed.” I look over at her and move my hair out of my face.

“Come oooon.” Emma groans, “We need to get you laid!” I laugh awkwardly. They’ve been trying to get me a boyfriend since middle school, to little effect. Emma adjusts her bra strap and grabs my arm.

“You guess really need to stop-”

“Not gonna happen!” Emma laughs, “We’re going to West Ed, you need a new wardrobe.”

“Yeah, no offense, but if you want to get fucked, you need to dress a little sluttier than that.” I look down and my button down and jeans, with doc martens. It’s a style I’ve been rocking since grade 10.

“What’s wrong with my wardrobe?” I ask as Emma drags me along.

“You look like a lesbian.” Sasha laughs, “So all the guys think you’re a lesbian.” As we exit school and head towards the car, some guys catcall Sasha and Emma, but not me. I guess they’re right, maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

I drive the car into the driveway, and throw it into park. I pause for a moment, collecting my thoughts before taking the keys out of the ignition. I step out of the car and open the rear door, helping Jake unbuckle, and pick him up out of the car. Mom helps Sara out and we all run inside. The front door swings open, and we all rush inside. I put Jake on the ground and slam the door shut, locking it behind us. Simon walks out from around the corner.

“The hell is going on!?” He asks, we all just look at him, “Why are they here?” He points to mom and Mark.

“Oh fuck you Simon.” Mark steps forward, mom stops him.

“There’s… something going on…” I start tearing up, “Dad died, and… and… he… came back, and he attacked Mark.”

“I’ve seen it on the news, I don’t… fuck… just…” Simon puts his hands on his head. Mark rubs the bandage in his arm, wincing in pain.

“I don’t know how long until this gets under control but the radio said to stay inside unless absolutely necessary.” I walk into the living room, and stare out the window. I see those monsters roam the street. They walk aimlessly, I close the blinds.

“What are we going to do?” Mark stumbles into the room.

“I don’t know… maybe we can ride it out.” I sit down on the couch, and cover my face. Jake shyly walks over and sits down beside me, putting his head on my shoulder.

“I’m scared mom.” He whispers.

“I know honey.” I run my fingers through his hair, “I am too, but we’re going to be ok.” I look over at Mark, he’s starting to sweat a lot. He notices me staring.

“I-I’m fine, just hurts a lot.” He forces a smile. I stand out and extend an arm out to him.

“You should rest, you can use the spare bedroom downstairs.”

“Ok… thank you.” He grabs my hand and I help him stand up. We walk towards the stairs, and I put his arm over my shoulder, and help him walk down the stairs. I open the door to the spare bedroom, and lay him down on the bed. He groans as he adjusts his position on the bed.

“If you need anything, let me know, ok?” I put the blanket over him.

“I will… thank you, Elsie.” He breathes heavily as I close the door, and walk back up the stairs.

I sit back down on the couch, and turn the tv on, and flip through channels. There’s nothing good, no good news, no hope.

“-protect yours-”

“-reanimatin-”

“-ay indoor-”

“-estroy the brain.” This channel catches my attention, “That’s the only way to take them down, nothing else seems to phase the resurrected. Unconfirmed reports state that bites… are lethal… if anyone you know is bit you mus-” My stomach drops.

“No…” I cover my mouth with my hand.

“Is Uncle Mark going to…?” Jake looks up at me.

“I…” I stand up, “God…” Tears form in my eyes. I look over at mom, she’s thinking exactly what I am. She starts crying. I walk out of the living room, and open the door to the backyard. I stand out on the porch, listening to the sounds. Cars, groans, gunshots. I breathe in the air, closing my eyes.

“You ok babe?” Simon puts his hands on my hips.

“Fuck…” I sigh and put my forehead on the rails, “On the tv… someone said that bites are apparently deadly…” I start crying harder, it hurts saying it out loud.

“What…?” He steps away, “So that means…”

“NO!” I shout before going back to a whisper, “We don’t know if it’s true.”

“But what if it is?” He covers his face with his hands, “We can’t take that risk, especially with the kids in the house.”

“You think I don’t know that!?” I step closer, “But we can’t just murder him.”

“It wouldn’t be murder, it would be a-a… a mercy killing.”

“I can’t believe you just said that.” I brush shoulders as I go back inside, “Stay away from him, we’ll figure out what to do in the morning.” Simon grunts and turns around, putting his hands on the rails.

Uncertainty

I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night. From the fear of what’s going on, to what might happen to Mark. I look over at the bedside clock, 6:43AM. I sigh as I sit up on the end of the bed, and slide my hair out of my face. After a moment, I finally decide to stand up. I walk over to the dresser, get some clothes, and go to shower. I don’t really wash though, I just stand in the hot water, staring into the wall. After a while I get out and wrap a towel around my body. After I get out, I wipe steam off the mirror, and stare into my eyes, inspecting, studying.

“God fucking damn it…” I break down, crouching down, tears flowing down my face. I lay down on the cold bathroom floor, quietly sobbing. I don’t even know how long I’m there for, could be a year for all I know. I finally collect myself, standing up, staring into the mirror again. My eyes are red from tears. I wipe them out of my eyes, and tie my hair back. After drying off and putting my clothes on, I walk out from the bathroom, and hear scratching at the front door. I creep down the hall, and peek around the corners, Mark is there, holding himself up on the wall.

“Mark…?” I come out, “Are you…?” His breathing is laboured, shallow.

“I… no… I’m not ok.” He groans, his face pale and drenched in sweat.

“What are you doing…?” I step closer slowly.

“I’m… I’m leaving so I… so I don’t put you and the kids in danger.”

“But you’ll never make it to the end of the block…” I step even closer, “...and we don’t know what’ll happen to you…”

“I know… but…” He looks out the door’s peephole, “Way I see it, I’m damned if I do… damned if I don’t.”

“We don’t know-”

“I do know.” He looks back at me, hand on the doorknob, “Tell the kids that… that I went to go find help.” I pull him into a hug.

“I will… just…” I start sobbing again, “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be… it isn’t your fault.” I can hear him struggling to breathe, he pulls away and grabs the doorknob again, looking back at me, tears in his eyes, “Goodbye… Elsie… I love you.”

“I love you, Mark.” He opens the door and steps out.

“Stay strong, for Jake and Sara.” The door quietly shuts, and I lock it behind him, looking out the peephole. He stumbles down the stairs, falling but catching himself. As he stands back up, he turns around for a moment, before turning back, and walking out into the street. He picks a direction, and goes, I lose sight of him shortly after.

The music is loud, almost deafening, Sasha and Emma are basically eating the faces of some random guys they met probably 5 minutes ago. I just sit there awkwardly, holding my cup with both hands. I feel weird in this outfit. It’s black, form fitting (not that there’s much form to fit), and very revealing. The skirt practically shows off my entire ass, and the top shows some sideboob. I don’t think my body is unattractive by any means, but I definitely don’t have as much… assets, as some of the other girls my age do. I stand up and start nervously walking around, taking a sip. It tastes like ass, but if it’ll make me feel less, I’m all for it. I want to go home, but I know Sasha and Emma won’t let me hear the end of it. I walk into the backyard and stand at the edge of the pool, looking at my reflection. It’s distorted by the people swimming in the water, but through it I see up my skirt, why did I let them talk me into buying this!? I pull the skirt down a bit to hide it a little better, then I continue walking around the edge of the pool and sit down on the edge of a sunchair. I bounce my leg anxiously as I just watch people dance, drink, makeout. I don't know if I envy them, or feel bad for them… maybe a bit of both.

“Hey.” A voice says from behind me. I turn around, and above me stand a tall muscular guy. He’s attractive, but… he looks a little old to be here.

“Hi…” I nervously respond. He sits down beside me, I shuffle away slightly.

“What’s up?” He puts a hand on my thigh.

“I… I don’t know…” I stare down into my drink.

“I’ve noticed you walking around, do you want to be here?” He asks.

“Not really… but my friend wouldn’t want me to go.”

“How about we get out of here?” He smiles at me, “We can go do something you’ll enjoy.” He stands up and extends a hand out, I grab it.

“Ok…” He helps me up.

“What’s your name?”

“E…Elsie…”

“Nice to meet you, Elsie.” He pulls me in, my eyes widen, “I’m Simon.”

Sara comes into the kitchen, she sees me sitting at the kitchen table, my face in my hands.

“Mom?” She whispers, I quickly collect myself.

“Yeah hun?”

“Are you ok?” She sits down across from me.

“Yeah just… figuring things out.”

“Uncle Mark died, didn’t he?”

“No… he just… he went to go find help.” I look up at her.

“So he is…”

“He didn’t want to put us in danger.” I look out the window, “I’m sorry.” She starts to cry, I quickly stand up to go comfort her. I hug her tightly, run my fingers through her hair.

“I’m scared mom.” She sniffles, “Why is this happening?”

“I wish I knew, baby.” I kiss her on the top of her head, “I’ll get you some breakfast.”

“Can I have eggs?” She asks, a smile on her face.

“Of course.” I flash her a smile as I crouch down to grab a pan, “Sunny side up, just the way you like it.” I put bread into the toaster and grab the carton of eggs. The eggs sizzle as it’s dropped down onto the hot pan, the smell fills the kitchen. They’re quickly done cooking as I slide them onto a plate I placed beside the stove. I pull out the toast and place it down onto the plate right beside the eggs. I bring the plate over to where Sara is sitting, she has a huge smile on her face.

“Thank you mom.”

“Of course, want a drink?” I put my hand on her shoulder.

“Do we have any orange juice left?” She looks up at me with her large eyes.

“I believe we still have a bit.” I walk over to the fridge and open it up, scanning. I pull out the carton, shaking it playfully before grabbing a glass from the cupboard.

I stare out the kitchen window, looking into the backyard. On the deck, Simon leans against the railing, smoking a cigarette. Sara and Jake are playing in the living room. Mom comes up behind me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

“We’re going to be ok Elsie.” She has that sweet look on her face. I want to believe her.

“Mark… he…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” She whispers, “He went out on his own terms, he was always stubborn like that.” She chuckles softly, I can’t help but chuckle too.

“He really was.” I close my eyes and sigh, “But we will live on, for him.”

“We will.” She kisses the side of my head and slowly walks away, “We will.” I walk out towards the backdoor, and slide it open. Simon looks back at me.

“I’m sorry… for last night.” He says, smoke coming out of his mouth, “I wanted all of us to be safe, none of us know what’s going on.”

“I know, it’s just…” I walk up beside him, leaning on the rail too. He offers his cigarette to me, I take it, “He was my brother, I couldn’t let that happen to him, from me or you, but he did it on his own, he walked out the front door without my help.” I put the cigarette in my mouth, and breathe in the smoke, holding it in for a while.

“I regret what I said” He looks over at me as I exhale, and offer the cigarette back, “I’m doing my best to keep up appearances for the kids but… I’m terrified.”

“Me too.” I look up into the sky, the moon’s dim light shines down on us, “I don’t know how long we’ll be able to ride this out for.”

“Will there even be an end?” He puts out the cigarette in his ashtray and tosses the butt into the grass, “Or is this how things are now?”

“People are working on stopping this I’m sure.” Far in the distance, I can hear the screams of someone. I don’t know what’s happening to them, but it can’t be pretty.

“Fuck, I hope you’re right.” He kisses me as he walks back inside, but I stay outside for a while longer.

Fin des temps

It’s been about two weeks now since everything happened. We’ve managed to keep morale up, but I don’t know how long we can keep it up for. The power went out four days ago. Simon managed to hook up a generator we used to bring camping. We have to keep most things turned off, but it works. Fuel is the main issue though. Simon has gone on a few runs to the nearby Co-op to get more fuel and other supplies. He says he had some close calls, but hasn't gotten any injuries. He uses a hammer to take out the monsters, says it’s efficient. There have been a few times the monsters came right up to the door, scratching at it. A few go away, but most don’t, and we have to take them out. I’ve done my fair share of… is it killing them if they’re already dead? I don’t know. Whatever the proper term is, I’ve taken a few out. I haven’t seen Mark, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not though. I know he’s dead, but… is he one of them? I can tell mom isn’t doing good. Losing both dad and Mark, a day apart. I’m barely keeping it together myself, I don’t know how she’s managing. Jake’s been taking things surprisingly well, he’s naive, I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Right now his biggest concern is that he can’t play on his Wii anymore. Sara has done her best to be there for Jake, I think she knows that he needs someone with him, he can’t be alone through this. I feel like we’re all just delaying the inevitable. Sooner or later, a group of monsters, or other people will find us. I don’t know what we’ll do then. We won’t be able to fight them off, we’d have to flee, but… then what? We have nowhere else to go. Fuck, I’m so scared. I want things to go back to normal, back to the way things were. 

I watch out the front window, kitchen knife in my hand, awaiting Simon’s return. I grip the handle tightly. Monsters roam the streets, the amount of them seems to be growing. A car speeds down the road, I quickly close the curtain as it passes, engine roaring. Monsters turn to follow it. I exhale sharply as I open the curtain up more.

“There’s more than usual.” Mom walks up beside me, “Is Simon going to be ok?”

“He’ll be fine, he’s strong, smart.” I smile, hiding my worry, “He’ll be back any minute now.” I hear scratching at the patio door.

“Again?” Mom groans.

“Fuck me.” I walk towards the back door. Outside is a monster, scratching at the glass, groaning, eyes locked on me. No… I know her. Marry, she babysat Sara for us a few times. God damn it. I slide the door open, she reaches at me, but I push her back. I step outside onto the porch as Marry catches herself, coming at me some more. I reach my arm out to keep her at a distance. Her arm hits me in the face.

“I’m sorry.” I whisper and I drive the knife into the side of her head, she stops moving. Blood rushes out and I pull the knife out, she collapses to the ground. I put my hands on my knees to catch my breath. The knife clatters as I place it down onto the wood of the patio. Her wrists are cold, I hate how it feels. I pull as hard as I can, open the gate out to the alley, dragging her along the ground. I drop her to the ground, and move my hair out from in front of my face. Mom meets me at the door as I walk in, blood on my face.

“Are you ok?” She asks.

“Yeah… just… I hate doing that.” I wipe a tear from my eye. She hands me a rag, I wipe it on my face, doing my best to clean off the blood.

“I’m sorry you have to do this.” She pulls me into a hug, it’s warm.

“I noticed something.” I say with a sigh.

“What is it?”

“The monster, she wasn’t bitten.” I pull out from the hug, “Or at least not that I could see.”

“Do you think it’s possible that…?”

“Maybe it isn’t the bites that do it, maybe…” I put my hand on my forehead, “No, can’t be, it must’ve been somewhere I couldn’t see.”

“You might be right, it wouldn’t make any sense otherwise.”

Simon and I go into the bathroom of a Tim Horton’s, he locks the door behind us. I can feel my breathing get heavier as he pulls me in, kissing my neck. I moan softly as he starts thrusting into me. I wrap my legs around him as he pushes me against the wall. I put a hand on his shoulder, and the other on the back of his head, gripping his short hair softly.

“F-fuck Simon…” I manage to say through the euphoria, then I hear my phone ring, “Fuck… Sim-Simon stop… my phone.”

“Damn it.” He says as he pulls out and backs away. I crouch down and dig through my pocket, grabbing my phone, it’s Mark.

“Hello?” I say in my best “I totally wasn’t just having sex” voice.

“Elsie, you gotta get home, dad’s pissed!” Mark explains frantically.

“Why?” I ask as I move my hair out of my face, “What happened?”

“Well that depends, are you out with Simon again?” I pause for a bit.

“No…” There’s silence for a bit.

“So I take it that’s why he’s pissed then?” Mark chuckles.

“I don’t understand why he gets so pressed about it.” I complain, “I’m allowed to have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah well I don’t think they want you to date someone almost a decade older than you.”

“Fuck, just… can you buy me time?” I ask. Mark just sighs.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you!” I smile, “You’re the best! Bye!”

“Buh-bye.” The line goes dead. I put my phone back in my pocket, and stand back up. Simon pulls me back in and we kiss.

Some time passes, and Simon finally comes back, a full jerry can in his hand. I quietly closes the door, locking it. I can tell he’s stressed, maybe something happened.

“Are you ok? What happened?” I quickly walk up to him, looking him over.

“I’m fine, I’m fine.” He takes off his hat, and places the fuel on the ground, “There were some other survivors, they shot at me, but I managed to get away.”

“Are you hurt!? Did they follow you!?”

“No, no honey, they were terrible shots.” He laughs. I pull him into a hug, holding him as tight as I can. He puts his hand on the back of my head.

“You were gone longer than you usually were, I was so worried, I thought that-”

“Hey, hey, look at me.” He pulls out of the hug, and looking deep into my eyes, “I made it, we’re ok, I’m ok.”

“DADDY!” Jake shouts, running up to him, giving him a hug.

“You have to be quiet, bud, the monsters will come if they hear you.” He takes off his backpack, “I got some goodies while I was out too.” He hands it to me, I grab it. It thuds down onto the kitchen table. I unzip it and open it up, peeking inside. Inside there’s a lot of canned goods, and some bottled water.

“This is really good, this is perfect!” I smile, looking over at Simon.

“All that will buy us lots of time.” He walks closer to me and sighs, “But I don’t think I’ll be able to go back there.”

“Why not?” I tilt my head.

“It was picked pretty clean, what I grabbed was basically the last of the food there.” He puts his hands on his hips, “We might be able to get fuel from there, but other supplies… I’ll need to scavenge somewhere else.” Fuck, this isn’t good. We don’t know what else, or who else, is out there. The situation in the rest of the city could be worse than it was here. The TV uses too much power, and we don’t have a radio, so we have no idea what’s going on everywhere else. Not just in Edmonton, but Alberta, Canada, the whole world. Some places could be better than here, worse, or some places might not even be affected at all.

“God damn it.” I mutter under my breath, “It could be dangerous for you.”

“I know, but… I have to, we’ll starve.”

“I know, just…” I pace around the kitchen, “Maybe we wait before we come to a concrete decision, give it a day or two.”

“I don’t know if we can Elsie. I don’t know how long we can wait.” He sounds angry, “The next closest store could be completely looted by the time I get there if we wait.”

“Fuck, I know!” I quietly yell, both so the monsters don’t hear us, but Jake and Sara too, “But I don’t want you to die out there, especially since some people shot at you today!”

“They’ll be long gone!” He steps closer to me, “We can’t just wait here, we have to get as many supplies as we can!” I take a step back, leaning against the counter.

“We will talk about this tomorrow.”

“Elsie! We need to-”

“Mom? Dad?” I look over, and see Jake standing in the doorway, “Why are you fighting?” Simon takes a step back from me, and walks up to him.

“We aren’t just…” I catch my breath.

“We’re discussing our plans for what to do, just in case things go wrong.” Simon kneels down.

“Can I help?” He flashes that goofy smile.

“We already finished talking, we have a plan.” I say, fighting tears.

“Aw… next time?”

“Next time.” Jake turns around and walks away, Simon following closely behind. I glare at Simon as he walks away.

In the Dead of Night

I stare at the ceiling, the house is silent, but I hear the activity of monsters roaming the street. Simon is softly snoring beside me, I shift my body to be a little further from him. I mull over things, what’s happened already, what might happen. I can’t shake this sinking feeling. Like things will inevitably go wrong, any minute now. I don’t know what will happen or when, but… god fucking damn it, I just want us to be safe, I want us to be able to survive here, but I don’t know how long we can. Why hasn’t the military come to help us? Or anyone? Is there even a military left anymore? I close my eyes again, trying to finally sleep. I haven’t had a decent amount of sleep since all this happened. I feel myself slowly start to drift off, everything feeling lighter. Suddenly I hear a loud crash, a window shattering. I shoot up and immediately grab my knife sitting on my nightstand and stand up. I see Simon doing the same as I run towards the bedroom door. I throw it open and run down the hall, opening the door to my kid’s rooms. The windows aren’t broken in either one.

“Mom?” Sara sits up in her bed, “What’s going on?”

“Stay here, a window broke, something might be inside.” I turn around and run back down the hall, and into the living room. The window near the TV shattered, and a monster got through. I run up to it, keeping it at arm’s length as I plunge the knife into its skull. I cry out as I pull it out, the monster collapses to the carpet floor, blood pouring out. Mom runs out, standing behind me.

“How can I help?” She shouts.

“Fuck… get a bag and grab as much stuff as you can, we can’t stay!” I yell frantically, “SIMON!” I hear his footsteps running as mom goes to pack. I kill another one as he reaches me.

“Yeah!?” He says, out of breath.

“Get the kids, we have to leave!” I push a monster back, another lunges at me, grabbing my arm, “Fuck…” I push its head away, grunting with the effort. Simon runs up and hits the monster over its head, breaking it open. It lets go, and Simon puts his hand on my shoulder.

“Try to keep away from them!”

“I know what I’m doing!” I snap as we back up. I knock over a bookshelf to try and slow them down.

“I’ll grab the kids, get ready to leave.” Simon runs down the hall.

“MOM! YOU ALMOST READY!?”

“ALMOST, JUST GETTING A FEW MORE THINGS!” A monster falls over the bookshelf, and I drive the knife down on it as it hits the ground. Another falls, I stomp my boot down on it, caving its skull in. Simon comes out with the kids, both of them crying.

“LETS GO, MY CAR IS PARKED IN THE ALLEY!” He screams, pointing to the back door.

“My mom is getting stuff from the kitchen!” I start walking towards it, “We aren’t leaving without her.” He looks around.

“Fuck… take the kids!” He steps them down, “I’ll get her out.” He runs towards the kitchen as I pick up Jake and lead Sara towards the backdoor. I slide the glassdoor open, looking back, monsters are starting to make it past the barricade.

“God damn it…” I mutter under my breath as we walk down the patio steps. I hear Simon shouting inside, but I can’t understand what he’s saying. We run into the alley, towards Simon’s car, a red Nissan Rogue. I help the kids in and slam the door shut, taking my seat behind the steering wheel. I put my knife on the dashboard and put the key in the ignition, but don’t turn the engine on yet.

“Where’s dad?” Jake says through his tears, “And grandma?”

“Th-they’re… they’re coming… they’ll be here soon.” I watch towards the house, the seconds feel like hours. I reach my hand back and put my hand on Jake’s knee, then move it over to Sara’s. Simon finally runs out of the backyard, holding a backpack… alone. He throws the door open and sits down.

“Where is she!?” I look at him, he just looks forward, “Simon!” He finally looks over at me.

“She… I’m sorry.” He reaches a hand out to me, rubbing my arm.

“No…” I put my head on the steering wheel, “FUCK!” Tears flow down my face as I turn the engine on. I start driving forwards, out the alley, and onto a road. I adjust the rearview mirror to look at Jake and Sara. They’re holding each other, crying. I wish I could hold them too, but we can’t stay.

“HE’S 26!?” Mom shouts at me, tears flow down my face like a river, “Do you have any idea how god damn irresponsible that is!?” I pace around the living room, not sure if I want to run away or scream.

“I LOVE HIM MOM, OK!? I shout.

“YOU ARE 17, YOU’RE STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL!” I put my face in my hands, “DO HIS PARENT’S KNOW ABOUT THIS!? I DOUBT THEY’RE PLEASED!” 

“UGH!” I groan as I brush past her, opening the front door and slamming it behind me. I walk for a while, it’s September, so it isn’t exactly warm out. Cars rush by, wind blows, I cry. Then, eventually I get to a bench, and sit down, curling myself into a ball. I don’t even know how long I lay there for when Mark approaches me.

“Elsie?” He says in a calm voice.

“Leave me alone.” I say, he doesn’t listen.

“Well we both know I can’t.” He chuckles as he sits down beside me.

“I just do-... why can’t she just leave it alone?” I ask.

“Because she cares about you, and I care about you too.” He puts a hand on my foot, “We want to make sure you’re safe.”

“But I am, I care about him, he cares about me, I just don’t understand.” I wipe a tear from my eyes, mascara gets wiped off onto my hand.

“Elsie, you know exactly what I’m about to say.”

“I know… I just don’t see why it’s such an issue.”

“Because when he graduated you were in grade 3.” He laughs, and despite my best efforts, I do too, “I got you.”

“I really hate you, you know that?” I look up at him.

“That’s a big fat lie and we both know it.” He says, I kick his leg, “Hey, watch it, I just did my laundry.”

“When do you think I’ll be able to go back?” I ask, Mark exhales.

“She was PISSED when I left, so I’d at least wait until she goes to bed.

“That won’t be for like two more hours!” I sit up, and groan.

“Yeah…” He looks over at me, “C’mon, I’ll get you some Tim’s.” I couldn’t ask for a better younger brother, even though he does get on my nerves sometimes.

We drive through the neighborhoods, swerving in between abandoned cars and monsters roaming the streets.

“It feels weird not stopping at stop signs.” I chuckle, trying to make the best out of this shit situation.

“Elsie… are you ok?” Simon puts a hand on my thigh, “I mean… given what just happened.”

“Not really, but…” I sigh, “We just need to find somewhere to lie down for the night.”

“Where!?” Simon waves his hands in the air, “No matter where we go, it won’t be safe.”

“There has to be something out there, a building we can sleep in for the night, then maybe find something more permanent.”

“We have to keep moving.” He looks over at me, “We can’t stay in one place for too long, they’ll find us again.”

“We can fortify, defend.”

“How!?” He laughs, “Neither of us know how to build walls or defenses.”

“We will figure it out.” I look back forward, we’re leaving the city, “We just have to try.” Simon turns his head away from me, staring out the window. It looks weird without all the lights glowing in all the buildings. It feels off, uncanny.

“I… I tried to save her.” I look over at Simon, “We were on our way out, but… they grabbed her… there was nothing I could do.” I feel the tears forming in my eyes again.

“I know, just…” I wipe tears from my eyes, and grip the steering wheel tighter, “...that’s the way the world is now.” I pull the car into a gas station, it's dark, but there aren’t any monsters outside, so that’s a good sign.

“You want me to check inside?” Simon asks as I throw the vehicle into park.

“No, I got it.” I grab the knife off the dashboard, “Stay here and watch the kids, I’ll be quick.” Simon quickly opens the glove box.

“I think I got… there we are!” He rummages around before pulling out a flashlight, “Should make it a little easier to see in there.” I grab it from his hand and inspect it.

“Thank you, honey.” I kiss him then open the door.

“Love you.” He smiles.

“Love you too.” I step out and close the door. A cool night breeze hits me as I start to walk towards the door, the flashlight clicks as I turn it on, illuminating the building. I can see through the glass, I don’t see any monsters, or any people, inside. I grab the door handle and pull on it, locked.

“Fuck.” I mutter under my breath. Nothing is ever easy. I walk around the side of the building, slowly creeping. I grip my knife tightly and shine the light around the corner. A monster snarls at me and starts to walk towards me. I quickly drive the knife into his head, and toss him to the side. I whip the blade to get some of the blood off and keep walking. I come to a rear door and, surprise surprise, locked. I sigh and walk back around to the front, looking around for something to smash the window. My light shines down on a large rock. I pick it up, it’s cold to the touch. I grip it tightly and chuck it towards the glass door. The glass shatters, I reach my arm though and unlock the door. I open it up, expecting that chime that always plays at gas stations, but… an eerie silence. I step inside, glass snaps under my feet. I search the whole building, there’s still some supplies we could use. We’ll throw it in the car in the morning, figure out what will be the most useful. I open the door to the back room, around a corner, laying on the floor is a body, a gun in her hand, dried blood beside her head. I gag from the smell, almost throwing up, but I manage to keep it down. I pick up her gun and take out the magazine, there’s some bullets left, so I put it in the back of my pants, a makeshift holster. I grab the woman’s body by her legs and drag her towards the back door, swinging it open, and dropping her down onto the ground. I walk back inside and take a deep breath before searching the rest, it’s all clear. As I exit the building, I see Simon standing outside the car, leaning against the side, watching towards the building. I wave him down and he runs to the driver’s seat and hops in, turning on the engine. He drives up right in front of the door, and rolls down the window.

“Is it safe?” He asks.

“There’s no monsters inside, won’t be comfortable, but it’ll work for the night.” I pull out the pistol, “Found this too, someone used it to… I guess they couldn’t handle it.”

“Fuck…” He rubs his chin.

“I dragged her outside, the kids won’t see it.” I open the door, and pick up Jake, he groans, half asleep, “C’mon bud, we found a place to sleep.”

“How long will we be here?” He says in a groggy voice.

“Just for tonight, we’ll find somewhere more comfortable tomorrow.”

“Ok…” He is barely awake as I carry him inside. We walk into the backroom, I sit him down on a chair, Simon places Sara on a chair near him as well.

“We can find some jackets or blankets for them to sleep on.” Simon says as he opens some of the lockers. I wander around the store, picking up anything that could work. There’s a bunch of jackets in the office behind the registers, perfect. I return to the back and start setting up beds, rolling up jackets for pillows, table cloth for blankets, and whatever else we could find for the actual bed. We tuck the kids in, and I sit near them.

“I’ll be on watch.” Simon says, “Give me the gun, just in case.” I take the pistol out, handing it to him.

“Get me when you want to sleep, I can be on watch too.”

“I will, thank you.”

“Of course.” I smile, “Thank you.” I run my fingers through Sara’s hair, then Jake’s.

“Mom?” Jake whispers.

“Yes, Jake?”

“When will we go back home?”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think we can.” I sigh, “It isn’t safe there anymore.”

“Oh…” He starts to cry.

“We’ll find somewhere better though, everything is going to be ok.”

“You promise?”

“I promise.” I chuckle, “Now get some sleep.” I turn off the flashlight, and close my eyes, trying to get some sleep myself, I need it, desperately.

From a combination of stress and cold concrete floor, I don’t get very much sleep. I fall asleep for maybe thirty minutes at a time, but I can’t stay asleep. So I might as well let Simon get some sleep. I grab my knife and stand up and creep towards the front of the store. As I step out into the front, I can see the sun starting to come over the horizon. It isn’t visible yet, just a slight bit of orange right before sunrise. Simon is standing behind the counter, pistol in hand, watching out the window.

“Hey.” I whisper as I approach. He looks over at me with surprise.

“What are you doing up?”

“I can’t sleep.” I groan, “Figured I’d let you sleep.”

“You sure.” He grabs my hand, “I don’t mind staying up.”

“I’m sure, you go get some rest.” I smile softly at him, he kisses me.

“Thank you.” He places the pistol on the counter for me, “See you in the morning hun.”

“Have a good sleep.” I chuckle, grabbing the pistol. He walks away, into the back of the store. I sigh and look out the window, the dim moon barely illuminates the prairie. I can see the hills, but that's about it. I wander around the store a little bit, just looking, remembering. When I was younger, me, Mark, mom, dad, we always stopped here when we went camping in Devon Lions. We would get snacks, bugspray, sunscreen, propane, everything we needed. I remember Mark would always beg mom to get those shitty gas station sandwiches. They were always terrible, but, god damn, I’d give anything to have just one more. I chuckle as I remember that metallic taste they always had. I miss those times, simpler times, happier times. Not times like this. This isn’t the world I want for my kids. I want them to have the life that I did, but… I don’t know if that’s possible anymore. I don’t know if…

“What the fuck…?” I whisper to myself. Outside the store, I see a person looking through the trunk of our car. I ready my pistol and walk towards the door. I quietly open it and step outside, and walk around to the trunk of the car.

“Who the hell are you!?” I shout, pointing the pistol at the man.

“MIERDA!” He jumps back, “I did not know this car belonged to anyone.” He chuckles. The man is wearing camo, and has a rifle over his shoulder.

“Well it’s ours, now leave.” I command.

“My apologies, la amiga.” He puts his hands up, and has a big smile on his face, “Do you all live here?”

“How do you know it isn’t just me?”

“You said ‘ours’, kind of a dead giveaway.” He chuckles, “But do not worry, for I am not here to hurt anyone.”

“How can I know you’re telling the truth?” I say, not lowering the pistol.

“I mean… I guess you just have to trust me.” He scratches his bearded chin, “Look at it this way, my abuelo used to take me hunting all the time, he taught me all about outdoor survival.”

“So?”

“So… I can be of great use to you.” He strikes a pose, “You have a very… suburban look to you, so you need someone who knows how to hunt, make camp, that kind of thing, am I wrong?”

“I guess you’re right.” I slowly lower the pistol.

“Do we have a deal?”

“Maybe, I’ll talk to my husband in the morning, see what he thinks.” I pause for a bit, “What’s your name?”

“Dios mío, where are my manners?” He puts his hand on his forehead, “My name is Hugo, at your service.” He bows, this guy is very theatrical.

“I’m Elsie.” I nervously smile

“Pleasure to meet you Elsie.” He shakes my hand before I have time to pull away, “You will not regret this.” He closes the trunk, and we walk into the store. He grabs a snack off the shelf, sets his rifle down and sits on the ground. I’m scared of what Simon is going to say about him. He does seem to know what he’s doing, especially if he’s been able to make it on his own the past couple weeks. So he could be useful for us, since he claims to know how to make shelter. Having a hunter doesn’t seem bad either, there’s lots of deer and other animals all around, so hopefully we’ll never run out of food. Maybe he could be an ally, maybe even a friend. Time will tell I suppose. 

Trust

I struggle to stay awake, but my hand doesn’t leave my pistol as I watch Hugo. He leans against a counter, looking out the window. I mean, he doesn’t look threatening, he seems very bubbly. But I need to be careful, if for whatever reason, he kills me, then… they’d be defenseless. I look to my right, and see a monster stumbling in the parking lot. I put the pistol in the back of my pants and grab my knife.

“I got it.” I say, walking towards the door.

“You sure?” Hugo walks towards the door too.

“Yeah, I’m sure.” I push the door open and step out. The wind blows my hair into my face, I quickly brush it out. As I approach, I see that there’s actually two monsters. Shouldn’t be an issue though, I think. I step into a readied stance as they get closer, grunting as I quickly jab at the first one as it reaches out to me. I struggle to get the knife out. The monster snarls as it reaches for my arm, and I softly scream as I jump back, my knife still in the monster’s skull.

“God damn it.” I mutter under my breath. The monster gets closer, I put my hands on its shoulders to keep it away. I strain as I use all my strength to keep it away. The monster’s face gets closer to mine. Suddenly, a knife gets slammed into the skull of the monster. I push it away and take a step back, putting my hands on my knees to catch my breath.

“Thank you…” I say shakily. Hugo takes my knife out of the other monster’s head.

“Of course, friend.” He smiles warmly and hands the knife to me. I grab it and wipe the blood off on my pant leg.

“Is that what we are now?” I chuckle.

“Well, you haven’t tried to kill me, so I’d say we’re best friends.” We start walking back towards the store.

“I suppose that’s fair.” I look over at him, he adjusts his rifle, and slides his knife into his pocket, “Friendship is in short supply these days.”

“Most people I’ve encountered have a ‘shoot on sight’ policy.” He sighs, “I personally prefer to try and talk before shooting.”

“Have you killed anyone?” I ask as we step back inside.

“No, I aim for non-deadly areas.” He sets his rifle down on the ground in front of the counter, “The majority of people are smart enough to run away once they get shot at.” I nod.

“That seems reasonable.” I feel easier.

“You and your family, you from Edmonton?”

“Yeah, I was born there, married there, I liked it.” I sigh, “Where are you from?”

“Well, I was born in San Juanito, down in México, but we moved up to Canada shortly after that, grew up in Fort McMurray.”

“Damn, and you walked all the way from there?”

“Yeah, legs burn like a mother fucker.” He laughs.

“Was it bad up there?” I ask. Hugo's expression changes.

“It was pretty bad.” He looks out the window, “Smaller population than here, but it was still bad. Lots of people died, my parents didn’t make it out. I barely made it out myself.”

“I’m sorry.” I put my hand on his shoulder, “I’ve lost people too, but we have to do our best to make the best out of this.”

“I know… I’ll live on, for them.”

“That’s good.” I smile, “And that’s all any of us can really do now.”

“What’s your family’s goal?” He asks, “Gonna be nomadic? Live off the land?”

“My husband and I talked about maybe finding a place we can settle down, reinforce, a place where we can live.”

“That sounds really nice.”

“I’m sure you will be able to join us.” I take a sip from a water bottle, “My husband can be a little… intense sometimes. But he’ll come around, don’t let him scare you.” Hugo laughs.

“Thank you, I’ll do my best.”

I walk through the halls at school, wandering while I wait for it to be time to go to my next class. I put my hand to my stomach as I’m randomly hit with the urge to vomit. I try to fight it off, but it's unavoidable. The sound of my footsteps echoes through the halls as I damn near sprint towards the nearest bathroom. I throw the door open to the first stall, lock it, throw the seat up, barely making it in time. I cough and gag as my breakfast comes out. Once it finally stops, I grab some toilet paper and wipe my mouth, then check to make sure I didn’t get any in my hair. After spitting the residue out of my mouth and into the toilet before flushing. God damn, what the hell was that…

“No… no, no no nonononono.” I put my hands on my head as the realization hits me. I run out of the stall, and out of the school, pulling out my phone and calling Simon. It rings for a while before he finally picks up.

“Hey bab-”

“SIMON I’M FUCKING LATE!” I shout as I sprint as fast as I can to the nearest convenience store.

“Late? Late for what?” He asks.

“No, no, I’m late late.”

“Fuck…” He pauses, “...are you sure?”

“I don’t know… I’m going to 7/11 to get a test.” It’s hard, but I keep running, each step is painful, and my lungs sting.

“What will we do if-”

“I… I don’t fucking know, just… let’s see what it says first.”

“Call me as soon as you know.” He says.

“Ok… I will… love you.”

“Love you too.” He hangs up, and I open the door to the 7/11.

The sun gets higher, I can see more of the prairie. The endless ocean of grass and hills. Far in the distance I can see a few monsters, roaming, going away from the city. I suppose I should wake up Simon so we can get ready to leave. I open the door to the back, it creaks softly. Simon is sitting on the ground, arms crossed, asleep. I nudge him on the shoulder softly.

“Hmm.” he groans, “What’s up?”

“We should get ready to head out, pack whatever we can into the car.”

“Fuck…” He stretches, “What time is it?”

“8? I don’t know.” As he stands up, I stop him, “Before we go out, there’s something I need to tell you.”

“What is it?” He looks at me, concerned, “What happened?”

“I found someone, his name is Hugo.”

“What!?” He yells, but in a whisper.

“He isn’t a threat, he can be a huge help to us.” I frantically say, he pushes past me, and walks towards the front of the store. I quickly follow behind him. As we step out, he scans the room, and sees Hugo.

“What the hell do you want!?” Hugo turns around, raising his hands.

“Hey, I’m not a threat, I just-”

“Bullshit.” Simon grabs the collar of Hugo’s hunting jacket, “What are you scheming!?”

“Nothing estúpido.”

“Simon fucking stop!” I pull Simon back and get between them, “He saved my life.” Simon grunts angrily.

“How could you just let him in here?” He pokes my chest, “What if he tried to kill you, or the kids!?”

“I stayed on alert, he helped me, he can be trusted.”

“Fuck.” Simon turns around and takes a few steps back, “He can stay, but he does one sketchy thing, I’m throwing him out.”

“Thank you.” Hugo says graciously.

“Shut up.”

“Wow, ok.” Hugo scoffs as Simon walks away, “What a charmer.”

“I warned you.” I chuckle, “Sorry.”

“It’s ok, he’ll warm up to my wonderful personality soon enough.”

“Let’s get packing, pick up whatever could be useful and throw it in the car.”

“Yes ma'am.” Hugo salutes and starts browsing the aisles. I follow suit. On one of the shelves, I see a few jerry cans. We could maybe put some gas in them, just in case we drive far. I don’t know how to get the pumps to dispense gas, Simon might though. I walk into the back, and see him leaning against a wall.

“What?” He says grumpily.

“I found some jerry cans, do you know how to make the pumps work?”

“Yeah.” He walks forward a bit, “If these pumps are like the ones in town, I should be able to.”

“Perfect, thank you.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, “Just so you know, I’m not happy about him coming with us.”

“I know, but we need him.” I glare at him, “He has lots of survival skills, more than both of us have combined.”

“I know, just… we need to put our kid’s safety first.”

“I know and I am, that’s why I’m saying we need him.”

“Fuck…” He walks towards the store, and grabs the jerry cans.

I throw another pack of water bottles, and stretch my arms, grunting as I do. I look over towards the pumps and watch Simon filling up the jerry cans. Hugo comes out carrying some vehicle maintenance items, oil, transmission fluid, whatever we might need.

“I think we can fit a bit more stuff in here, we should get more food.” Hugo looks over at me, and puts his hands on his hips.

“Yeah there’s still plenty of room.” I start walking back inside, “Let’s go.” We walk back inside, and I scan the shelves.

“Mom?” Jake says, “Who’s that?” I look over and see Jake standing in the doorway, pointing towards Hugo.

“That’s my new friend, Hugo.”

“What’s up little man?” He waves. Jake shyly waves back.

“Is he nice?”

“He’s nice.” I laugh, “He’s a pretty cool guy I’d say.”

“Awesome!” Jake shouts excitedly. Sara follows closely behind, rubbing her eyes.

“What the…?” She stares at Hugo.

“That’s Hugo, he’s going to be coming with us.” I explain.

“Why?” She asks.

“He’ll be a huge help to us.”

“When are we leaving?”

“Soon, once we pack up.” Sara stumbles up to me, still half asleep, and hugs me tightly. I run my fingers through her hair, and she walks away to go to the bathroom. I sigh and look outside, Simon is putting the full jerry cans in the trunk. He walks back inside.

“We leave in ten, be ready.” I nod at him, and grab some last minute items, walking back outside and tossing them in the back of the car. Hugo throws a few more in as well, and I slam the trunk shut. I put my hands on my hips, brush my hair out of my face, and look back towards the city. I can see billows of smoke rising over the city. I don’t know what caused them, but what I do know is that we’re safer out here than in there. From the monsters to the people, the city is dangerous. I wonder if the people in the West Edmonton Mall are doing ok. Are they safe, or did they get overrun? Sara, Jake, and Simon walk outside.

“You ready?” He asks.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” I walk towards the driver’s seat.

“Let’s get this show on the road.” Hugo walks towards the car.

“Sit up front with me.” I look over at Hugo, “Simon, you sit in the back with the kids.”

“Why do I have to?” He groans.

“Because I said so.” I open the back door and help Jake in. Simon and Sara get in from the other side. I sit down in the driver’s seat, and put the key in the ignition.

We drive down the road, nothing but prairie in every direction. I’m only going 50 km/h to do my best to conserve fuel. It feels really slow, but way faster than walking. There’s a few vehicle wrecks, a couple monsters roaming in the ditch, other than that, it’s uneventful.

“How you doing Jake?” I ask, looking at him through the rear-view mirror.

“I’m excited, it’s going to be like a vacation!” He says excitedly. Well at least one of us has optimism.

“Sara?”

“I guess I feel the same, but I’m nervous.”

“I know.” I look forward again, “We’ll be ok though, I promise.” Hugo fiddles with the radio, trying to see if anything is broadcasting. There’s nothing but static for a while, but then we hear something.

“-rumh-” A voice says.

“Go back to that one.” I say, Hugo goes back.

“-ettlem-... -tyr-... -eum.-...” The voice is hard to make out, there’s too much static.

“Could anyone understand what they said?” I ask.

“No.” Simon says.

“I think it’s too far away, we can’t get a clear signal.” Hugo looks out the window.

“Damn it.” I hit the steering wheel. We pass another wreck, but as we do, a monster walks out. We hit it, and I hear a huge bang, that can’t be good..

“FUCK!” I slam on the breaks.

“God damn it!” Simon shouts as the car stops.

“Is everyone ok?” I ask.

“Yeah.

“I’m ok!’

“What happened?”

“A monster walked out into the road.” I sigh and unbuckle my seatbelt. I step outside, the hood of the car is drenched in blood, good thing the car is red already. I look behind us, but I don’t see the monster. There’s a giant trail of blood and guts behind us though. I walk to the front of the car and crouch down. The monster reaches out at me, but it can’t move.

“Oh fuck me.” I groan. Hugo walks out, rifle in hand.

“Everything good?” he asks.

“Not really, the monster is stuck under the car, it’s still alive too.” Hugo crouches down beside me.

“I’ll grab the arms and yank it out, you put it down once it’s out.”

“Got it.” I walk back to the car and grab my knife.

“Ready?” He looks up at me.

“Ready.” Hugo strains as he pulls. I hear the snapping of bones and ligaments, it’s disgusting. The top half of the monster slides out, it groans and I quickly drive my knife into the top of its skull. Hugo wipes his hands on his pants.

“See? We’re a perfect team.” He cheers.

“I guess we are.” I laugh. Hugo drags the monster and tosses it into the ditch. I pop the hood and open it up. I don’t really know what I’m looking at, or looking for, never was much of a mechanic.

“That noise can’t be good, right?” I look over at Hugo, he scratches his chin.

“The radiator might be fucked.” He leans in closer to it.

“Can we fix it?”

“Maybe, not here though.” He looks around, then points, “There’s a farm right over there, the car should be able to make it.”

“God I hope so.” We get back into the car.

“Is everything ok?” Simon asks.

“Hugo says the radiator might be broken, but there’s a farm just down the road, we should be able to make it there, figure out what to do from there.” I explain, as I put the car back into drive.

“God damn it.” Simon groans, “If we can’t fix my car I’m gonna be pissed.” I step on the gas, the noise gets louder. We don’t have much of a choice, so we press on. I silently pray that the car doesn’t just explode or something, because that’s what it sounds like.

Drift Away

Against all odds, the car makes it to the farm. We drive along the dirt road, and park in front of the house. It’s a quaint little house. Not too big, not too small. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise. Maybe this is the place we’re looking for.

“Me and Simon will go check inside, Hugo, you wait out here, keep an eye out.” I explain as I unbuckle.

“Wait, you want him out here? With the kids!?” Simon objects.

“Yes, I trust him.” I look back, “Plus with his rifle, he can keep a better eye out.”

“You just met him last night and you’re trusting him with the safety of our children!?”

“If he wanted to do something bad, he would’ve done it by now.” I explain.

“Are you out of your damn mind!?”

“No, I just have a good eye for character.”

“Pfft, yeah, alright, we’ll see if that’s still true when you get one, or all, of us killed.” The three of us get out of the car. I pull my pistol out, and grip my knife tightly.

“Shout if you need help, I’ll rush in as fast as I can.” Hugo smiles at me.

“Thank you, you holler too if you need us.” We walk towards the front door, I aim my pistol as Simon slowly reaches for the door, and pushes it open. The door creaks, and I look in. I don’t see anything, so we step inside. The floorboards creak, and I feel my heart start to pound. The living room is open, and empty, same with the kitchen and dining room. We find our way to some stairs. One going down, the other going up.

“You check downstairs, I’ll go up?” I look back at Simon.

“Why?” He whispers, “Shouldn’t we stick together?”

“We’ll get done faster this way, it’ll be fine.”

“Fine just…” He sighs and grips his hammer tighter, “...if you need help, call for me and I’ll come running.”

“I will, don’t worry.” I reassure, he kisses me on the cheek. He sneaks down the stairs, and I quietly walk up. The carpet muffles my footsteps slightly. My eyes shift around, inspecting everything. I walk into the bathroom, I quickly look through the drawers and cabinets. There’s some medical supplies, which will be a huge help. I walk out, we can go through the rest later. I walk into a bedroom, and hear footsteps. To my right, a man charges at me, with a battlecry, he slams me into the wall. I cry out in pain as I tumble to the floor. I point my pistol up, but the man kicks it out of my hand. I grunt as I crawl backwards.

“We aren’t here to-” He punches me in the side of the head. I cry out, and roll sideways. I kick the man in the knee as hard as I can, he stumbles back and cries out in pain.

“Agh, you bitch.” I pick my knife up off the floor and quickly stand up, holding it at him. He pulls out a screw driver.

“SIMON!” I scream. The man charges at me again, I slash my knife at him. He sticks his hand up, and the knife cuts a deep hole through it. He grunts, then jabs the screwdriver at my left leg. I feel a sharp pain, and scream. He laughs softly, and I punch him in the face, and kick him away with my other leg. Simon runs up the stairs and enters the room, looking at me, then down at the man.

“What did you do!?” He shouts. I push my hand down around the screwdriver sticking out of my thigh. My breath is shaky, and I’m barely keeping it together.

“He… he came out of nowhere.” I mutter. The man tries to stand up, but Simon kicks him back down.

“You’re… you’re in MY HOME!” He yells.

“We would’ve… left if you… if you asked.” I try to stand up, but fall back down.

“No, we wouldn’t have.” Simon waves his hammer towards the man in a threatening manner, “We’re taking this place, especially now that you hurt my wife!”

“God…” He sits up with a grunt, “...I just wanted to die in peace.”

“What do you mean!?” Simon asks, demanding an answer. He groans in pain as he lifts up his shirt. There’s a bit on his lower abdomen, fuck…

“You’re…”

“Please… please kill me…” He starts to cry, “Please… don’t let me be one of them.” He breaks down. I try to stand up again, it’s excruciating, but I manage to stand up, holding onto the window sill for support.

“We can help you… right?” I look over at Simon. He has an expression that’s a mixture of anger and sadness on his face. It’s something that I’ve never seen before.

“I… yeah…” He mutters. I think he’s confused. This guy attacked me, now begging for our help, asking for us to kill him.

“Thank you… thank you…” He wipes tears from his eyes, “I just want to see my wife again.”

“You will, soon.” I smile softly, trying to comfort him. The man stands up, but Simon doesn’t let down his guard.

“I want to die under my wife’s tree, it’s out front.” He slowly starts walking. I walk over to the pistol on the floor, kneeling down to pick it up. Shocks of pain shoot through my body, and my breathing gets faster, but I manage to pick it up, then stand back up without falling over.

“You ok?” Simon asks.

“Yeah… yeah… I’ll be fine, just… let’s get this over with.” I try to catch my breath. I put the pistol in the back of my wants, and grip my knife tightly, stumbling as I walk forward.

I slowly step outside, grunting with each step. The wind hits the side of my face, the sun feels really nice though.

“Holy shit!” Hugo shouts, running over, “Are you ok!?”

“Yeah… had a little… scuffle.” I chuckle, then groan, and grip my leg tightly. Blood drips to the ground.

“Who’s that?” He asks as Simon follows the man towards the tree.

“I don’t know his name, but he lives here.” I just watch them walk for a moment, “He’s the one that did this, he’s bit and asked us to put him down.”

“Do you want some help with that?” Hugo looks into my eyes.

“Yeah that might not be a bad idea.” I try to catch my breath, “In the upstairs bedroom there were some medical supplies, maybe some bandages.” He helps me sit down on a bench on the front porch, then heads inside. Jake and Sara walk up to me.

“Mom…?” Jake looks down at my leg.

“Are you ok?” Sara asks.

“I’ll be ok guys.” I look down at my hand, which is now drenched in blood, “Hugo’s finding some bandages for me.”

“How did this happen?” Jake looks up at me.

“There was someone inside, he didn’t like us being in there.” I look to my left, Simon is helping the man sit down, “Dad is going to help him though, he’s sick, and asked for our help.” Hugo comes outside, carrying a bunch of medical supplies, and places them down beside me.

“You guys might not want to watch this.” Hugo kneels down and looks over at the kids.

“Why?” Jake asks.

“There might be lots of blood.”

“Oh, ok.” He walks away, Sara follows closely behind. Hugo spread out the supplies.

“You ready?” He asks me, I close my eyes and breathe in.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I grit my teeth as Hugo grabs the screwdriver.

“I’m sorry Elsie.” He yanks it out, I scream in pain. Blood shoots out, and he quickly rolls up my pant leg. Hugo hands me a bit of cloth and I press it down on my thigh. My breathing gets faster.

“Ah… f-fuck…” I cry. Hugo grabs a bottle and a rag. He pours the bottle onto it.

“Lift up the cloth.” He waves his hand, “This is going to hurt like a perra.” I nervously lift it up, and he puts the rag down onto the wound. It stings, and I cry, struggling to keep still.

“God…” I cover my eyes.

“We’re almost done.” I feel him wrapping the bandage around my leg, then secures it down.

“Is that it…?”

“That’s it, that’s all!” He stands up. He sticks his hand out, helping me stand. I grab his hand and stumble a bit as I stand.

“Thank you, Hugo.” I hug him.

“Ah, it’s no problem.” He laughs, “It’s my pleasure.” I start to slowly walk towards the tree. It takes a long time for me to make my way over. But, eventually I stumble to Simon, catching myself on his shoulder.

“Are you ok Elsie?” He asks.

“Yeah, Hugo patched me up.” I try to catch my breath.

“That’s good.” He exhales with relief.

“I’m really sorry ma’am.” The man looks up at me.

“It’s ok, I don’t blame you.” I look down at him, “You were protecting your home.” He’s starting to sweat a lot. I look over at Simon.

“I think… I think I’m ready now…” He looks up, towards the sky. I pull the pistol out, and aim it down at him.

“Elsie, no.” Simon grabs my arm, “You shouldn’t.”

“I… I got it… I can… I can do it.” My hand shakes, and my voice trembles. The man closes his eyes, seeming to accept what’s about to happen. I start to cry, and take a giant breath in.

“I’m so sorry.” I say through tears. The man doesn’t say anything. I slowly start to squeeze the trigger. A giant bang rings out, and the pistol recoils back. I stumble, but catch myself. I look down, seeing what I did. The man’s body is limp, and a trail of blood flows down the side of his head. I drop the pistol, and fall down to my knees, breaking down. Simon crouches down beside me, and rubs my arm.

“It was for the best, Elsie.” He kisses my cheek, “He isn’t in pain anymore.”

“I know… but… I just… he…” I can’t even form a sentence. I punch the ground, and scream as loud as I can.

Instability

He never even told us his name. I killed a man, and I never knew his name. I know that he was suffering, and I ended it, but… it doesn’t make it any less painful. Simon buried him under that tree, it’s where he would’ve wanted to be buried. I lay down on the couch in the living room, resting my leg for a moment. Hugo and Simon weren’t able to find any painkillers in the house, so I just have to power through. I silently cry to myself as I stare up at the ceiling. I groan in pain as I sit up, and put my hand on the bandage. There’s some blood starting to soak through the bandage, I’ll have to get it changed soon. Outside the window, I can see Hugo keeping watch. He has his rifle in his hands, just scanning the area. I’m terrified of what could come, or who, or… whatever threats are out there. I fear for my family, but maybe here we can make something for ourselves. We can maybe start something here. I smile softly as I think about it, but the pain quickly washes it away. I stand up and walk to the front door, it creaks as I swing it open. Hugo looks behind him, facing me.

“You shouldn’t be standing, Elsie.” He says in a caring voice.

“I know but… I don’t want to let you two do all the work.” I look towards the tree where I shot the man. Simon is digging a grave for him, it’s the only thing we can do for him now. Hugo notices me staring.

“Don’t blame yourself for what happened.” He puts his hand on my shoulder, “He was bit, you put him out of his misery.”

“I know that, but it still feels wrong.” I wipe a tear from my eye, “It… fuck… it didn’t feel real.”

“It was the right thing to do, and you’re strong to be able to do that” He leans his rifle against  the wall, “I don’t think I could kill someone, mercy killing or otherwise.”

“What if I keep doing it?” Tears flow down my face, “What if one day I like killing.”

“I don’t think it will come to that.” Hugo gives me a reassuring smile, “One day people will come together, rebuild society. Just right now, we’re in a, uhh… a limpieza.”

“I want to believe you.” I move my hair out of my face, “I really want to believe you but… none of us know how this ends, if it ever will.”

“Well, maybe there will still be the aumentó, but maybe we can recreate what was, maybe we can adapt.”

“Yeah… yeah maybe.” I smile softly thinking about that possible future. Maybe there are people out there who are working on trying to build that world. I hope that they’re out there. I hope that we can find them.

I walk out of the office after handing in a form to drop out. I thought long and hard about it, but… I won’t be able to take care of my kid while still being in school. I don’t want to drop out, I want to go to college one day, but… I need to put my baby first. I cry as I get into Simon’s car. He grabs my hand and squeezes it tightly.

“We’re going to be ok babe.” He smiles at me and wipes away a tear from my eye.

“I hope you’re right, but… I just don’t know anymore.” I put my hand on my stomach, feeling soft kicks. Mom was obviously livid, and dad was even angrier.

“Where do you want me to take you?” He asks.

“Can I stay at your place for a bit? My parents aren’t happy with me for dropping out.”

“Of course.” He kisses me, then rubs my leg, “You know you’re always welcome.” I smile at him as we start driving, his hand still on my leg. I rest my head on the window, and close my eyes.

I sit out on the front porch. It’s calming, helps me to ignore the pain. There’s a soft breeze flowing around us. The couple of trees wave, their leaves rustling. Jake sits on the ground beside me, playing with some toy cars he found. I look down at him, watching. I smile, I’ve always loved how innocent he is. He never had a care in the world, only ever caring about Mario and his cartoons. His teachers told me that he might have ADHD, I think they might’ve been right. We had an appointment with a specialist, but… you know. I think the appointment was probably sometime this week. I should phone them, tell them we might not be able to make it. I chuckle at my shitty joke. Simon returns from the tree, shovel in hand. He leans it beside the door.

“How are you holding up babe?” He asks.

“I’m doing about as good as I can, considering the circumstances.” I lean back in the chair.

“Do you need anything?” He asks.

“Could you help me change my bandage?” I look up.

“Uhh, yeah, sure.” He says, almost like he was hoping I wouldn’t need anything, “Let me go grab the stuff, and I’ll help you.”

“Thank you.” I smile. He turns around and walks back inside. There’s some silence for a moment after he leaves. Hugo picks his rifle back up and cradles it in his arm.

“So… I know it’s not my place, but…” He pauses for a moment, scratching his stubble, “He’s a bit dick, no?”

“He has his moments, but… he means well.” I look out across the horizon. The sun is getting lower, and will probably set in an hour or two.

“What do you think he’d do if… something ever happened?”

“What do you mean?” I look up at him. He walks up to me and leans closer.

“If you or… one of the kids get bit?” He whispers.

“I… I don’t know.” I look down at my leg, “I want to hope that he’d do what’s right, but… I just don’t know.”

“Well… let’s hope it never comes to that.” He walks back to where he was standing before. I don’t know what he’d do. I play through different scenarios in my head. I get bit, he leaves me. I get bit he puts me down. Sara or Jake get bit… no. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Could he?

Simon finally comes back, medical supplies in hand. He sets them down beside me. I roll up my pant leg, wincing in pain, swearing under my breath. Simon unwraps the bandage from my leg, and places it aside. He pours rubbing alcohol onto a rag, then looks up at me.

“Ready?” He asks. I take a deep breath.

“Yeah…” I close my eyes. My leg stings, I grunt, trying not to kick my leg. He cleans it thoroughly, then quickly wraps it back up. I roll the pant leg back down, and place my foot down on the floor.

“You good?”

“I’m… I’m good.” I put my hand on my thigh as he kisses me.

“The fuck…?” Hugo says. I quickly look over at him, he’s aiming his rifle. I look down the dirt road, there’s two people walking up it. Simon walks to the porch’s railing, looking out. He has the pistol in the back of his pants, and he puts his hand on the grip before letting go.

“Jake, get inside.” Simon orders.

“Why?” He whines.

“Because I said so.” Simon says, louder this time. Jake stands up, and walks back inside. I stand up, pain shooting through my leg. The three of us start walking towards the strangers. Well, “walking” might be a bit of a stretch for me, more like a hobble, but I get there. As we approach, Hugo aims his rifle at them, they both throw their hands up in the air.

“Woah, woah!” The man shouts, “We aren’t looking for trouble.”

“What do you want!?” Simon commands.

“We just… we need help.”

“With what?” I step forward.

“We… we’re starving, and… and we don’t know where we are.” The woman says from behind.

“Please, help us.” The man begs, “My name is Erik, and… this is my girlfriend Ana.”

“We can’t help you.” Simon says in a condescending tone. 

“We can’t just let them starve.” I put my hand on Simon’s shoulder.

“Yeah but we can’t give up our supplies.”

“Simon, listen to her.” Hugo looks over as he lowers his rifle.

“No!” Simon screams, “We have to think about ourselves, our family, US!”

“What if we were in their shoes?” I wave my hand towards Erik and Ana, “Wouldn’t you want them to help us?”

“Yeah, but…”

“So let’s help them.” I say calmly.

“I… fine.” He huffs.

“I’ll get you something to keep you going.” I look over at them and smile.

“Thank you.” Ana says, relief in her voice.

“Thank you so much.” I turn around and walk back towards the house.

I stumble inside, my leg killing me.

“Mom?” Sara asks, “What’s going on?”

“Some people showed up, they need help, so I’m getting them a bit of food.” I grab a tote bag and walk into the pantry. Grabbing some of the smaller food items, granola bars, fruit snacks, beef jerky, and a few water bottles. I do one last quick scan before putting the supplies into the bag. Suddenly a gunshot rings out, my head snaps up. I quickly stand up and walk as fast as I can back outside, throwing the door open.

“NO!” I hear someone scream, but I can’t quite tell who it is. As I approach, what I see makes my stomach drop. Erik is on the ground, blood flowing down his face from a bullet hole in his forehead, and Simon points the pistol towards them. Hugo is standing there in disbelief. Ana is hysterically crying as I approach.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?” I scream. Simon turns to face me, his face full of many different emotions at once.

“I… he…” Simon stutters.

“You fucking killed him pendejo!” Hugo pushes Simon. Ana holds Erik’s body, pleading for him to wake up. I put my hands on my head, trying to figure out what to do.

“I thought…”

“I don’t think you fucking did.” Hugo screams, “What did you ‘think’ genio?”

“He reached for a weapon…” Simon looks down at Erik’s body, “I swear he…” Ana stands up, knife in hand. Hugo and Simon point their guns at her, I take a step back.

“YOU FUCKING KILLED HIM!” She screams.

“I’M SORRY!” Simon shouts back, fighting tears. She charges forward, raising the knife and shouting. Simon fires three more shots, hitting her in the stomach, arm and chest. She stumbles for a moment before collapsing to the ground. My and Hugo run up to her, flipping her over. There’s blood everywhere, and she’s gasping for air.

“Fuck… you shot her lung.” Hugo turns around. Simon stands there, dropping the gun.

“I-”

“Simon!” I yell, “Shut the fuck up!” The gurgles of Ana gasping for air slowly fades as she suffocates on her own blood. She finally stops moving. I just sit there, holding her, trying to figure out what to do, what to think. I don’t even know how much time passes. None of us move. The sound of a low groan breaks me out of my trance. I look into Ana’s eyes.

“Ana…?” I whisper, “Are you-” She jumps up, growling. I scream as I fall backwards. I push as hard as I can, trying to keep her from biting me.

“Elsie!” Hugo shouts. As I fight I look over, Simon just stands there. Hugo tries to wrestle Ana off of me.

“SIMON!” I grunt, “SIMON… H-HELP!” He snaps out of it, finally seeing what’s going on. He picks up the gun, walks up to us, puts the barrel to the side of her skull, and pulls the trigger. Blood drips onto my face, and my ears start ringing. Hugo falls backwards onto his ass. Simon says something to me, but I can’t hear anything.

“Wha…?” I feel drunk. My hearing slowly comes back.

“I’m sorry.” He reaches out to help me up, but I ignore him. I push Ana’s body off of me, and stand up, wiping the blood off my face.

No Coming Back

I kneel down on my knees over her corpse. I’ve looked over her body at least 3 times, no bite, not even a scratch. I guess mom and I were right back in Edmonton, you turn no matter what. Hugo comes back from dragging Erik away, breathing heavily as he walks up to me.

“Did you find one?” He asks.

“No… nothing…”

“So we’re all… dios nos salve.” He puts his face into his hands, “So what… what do we do?”

“I don’t… I guess we just keep trying to survive.” I stand up, “It doesn’t seem like it kills you outright, just brings you back after.”

“Should we tell Simon and the kids?”

“Probably Simon, but maybe not the kids… not yet.” I kick the dirt, looking down. I don’t know what to think anymore. Simon murdering them, and now we know that we’re all infected. The way Ana and Hugo reacted… I don’t think he was reaching for a weapon. Why would he even try that? He had two guns on him, that would’ve been suicide. If he murdered them, then… no, there’s no way he’d leave her in the house on purpose. He wouldn’t leave her to die. He… I… fuck. Hugo notices I’m upset.

“Are you ok?” He steps forward slightly.

“Yeah just…” I take a deep breath in to collect myself, “...just thinking of things, of what happened.”

“We’re going to be ok, Elsie.” He smiles, “We’ll figure out what to do about… this.”

“I hope you’re right Hugo.” I move my hair behind my ears, “I really fucking do.” Hugo crouches down, grabbing Ana’s ankles.

“I’ll take care of this, you go inside and rest your leg.” He stands back up and begins walking backwards.

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” He grunts every few steps. I turn around to walk away, closing my eyes for a few moments. The door creaks open, and I step inside. It’s cold, we really need to do something about the power situation. There’s gotta be a generator on the farm somewhere. Winter will be here within a month, and we need to be ready, because it won’t be fun. Winters here weren’t fun before the world ended, so it’ll be even worse now. Jake runs up to me, hugging me tight, almost knocking me over. I catch myself on the wall, chuckling.

“You ok Jake?” I ask.

“Mom, what happened?” He whimpers, “I heard loud noises, then dad came in, and he looked angry.”

“Uhh… some people came, but we scared them off.” I lie.

“Are we going to be safe here?”

“Yeah, I'm sure we will be.” I ruffle his hair, “We just have to set up first, get some defenses up, and we’ll be untouchable.”

“Just like my games?” He looks up at me, I chuckle.

“Yeah bud, just like your games.” He pulls out from the hug and runs off to do god knows what. I walk over to the couch and lay back down, sighing heavily. Out the window I can see Hugo shoveling. I turn my headway and look up at the ceiling. I close my eyes and can feel myself drifting off to sleep.

“¡Tú lo mataste, pedazo de basura humana!” Hugo yells. I shoot up, sitting up on the couch.

“I CAN’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE SAYING!” Simon yells back. Hugo walks out of one of the bedrooms, and stomps down the stairs. I stand up.

“What’s going on!?” I frantically ask.

“Él necesita ir.” He mutters under his breath, and walks outside. I look up the stairs, and go to find Simon. As I enter the room, Simon is sitting on the bed, his head in his hands.

“What the fuck happened!?” I wave my hands around. Simon looks up at me, there’s tears in his eyes, he never cries.

“I… I didn’t mean to kill him… I just…”

“But what was the yelling about?” I ask.

“Hugo thinks that I meant to do it, that I… that I’m a murderer.” He wipes his nose on his shirt sleeve, gross. I step closer, sitting down on the bed beside him.

“Then tell me exactly what happened, I want to try and help.” I put my hand on his.

“Umm… after you went inside, he started acting… weird I guess.”

“Weird how?”

“He was… walking weird, I guess.” Simon runs his fingers through his hair, “He seemed nervous, and it made me nervous, so I just pulled the gun out, I didn’t point it at him or anything like that.”

“Then why did you shoot?”

“He reached his hand behind him, quickly.” He starts to cry more, “I didn’t have much time to react, I was scared, I had to…” I put his head into my shoulder.

“You did what you thought was right… it was something you had to do.” I don’t know if I believe what I’m saying. I don’t know what to think anymore.

“I know but… it didn’t get easier.”

“What do you mean ‘it didn’t get easier’?” I look down at him.

“Uhh… back in Edmonton, on one of my runs I… someone attacked me, and they wouldn’t stop.” He sits up, “By the time they did, they were already going to die…” Why did he never tell me about that? He told me everything that happened when he went on runs. Why would he not tell me that? That’s one of the only things he shouldn’t not tell me.

“Just make me one promise, ok?” I say softly.

“What is it?”

“You’ll do everything possible to avoid killing, talk before you shoot, ok?”

“Yeah… yeah, ok, I can do that.” He smiles, I smile back, and kiss him.

“I’m going to go talk to Hugo, I’ll try to calm him down.” I stand up and walk to the bedroom door, “He’s hurting, we all are, he needs a friend.”

“Ok… I think that’s a good idea.” I turn around and leave.

I open the front door and step outside. The wind is blowing pretty hard, almost knocking me over, my hair whips. It’s really dark and hard to see, but I shine my flashlight, and can see Hugo, leaning against the railing, talking under his breath.

“Dios te juzgue por lo que hiciste.”

“Hugo?” I put a hand on his shoulder.

“What did he say happened?” Hugo asks sternly.

“Erik started acting nervous, so he pulled his pistol out, but didn’t aim it, then Erik reached his hand behind him, so Simon shot.” I explain, Hugo chuckles.

“That’s not what I saw.” He looks up into the sky.

“What did you see?”

“Erik seemed calm to me, and he never reached behind him, he just… shot.” Hugo drops his head down, putting it in his arms, “I’m just glad that it was over for him right away, that’s more than we can say for Ana…”

“Did you find a gun on Erik’s body?” I ask.

“No.” Hugo brings his head back up, and looks over at me, “He did have a knife though, Ana grabbed it.” I sit down on a chair, pulling out a cigarette, lighting it.

“I don’t know what to think anymore.” I inhale, “I haven’t known what to think since this all started, but now…” I exhale heavily. Hugo turns around, and sits down beside me.

“Can I have one?” He asks.

“You smoke?”

“I do now.” He laughs. I pull another one out and hand it to him, then bring the lighter over, and ignite the tip. He puts it in his mouth and inhales, before starting to cough a bunch. I just laugh.

“Damn it really is your first time.” I barely keep myself together. Hugo finally collects himself.

“Fuck… this tastes horrible.” He coughs again, “You like this!?”

“Well, not really, but it helps calm me down.”

“Well, I think I’ll keep not smoking.”

“Are you going to finish that?” I ask. He takes another drag, then starts coughing more.

“Yeah… I’ll suffer through it, I don't want it to go to waste.” I sit back, and stare out. The landscape is pitch black. I shine the flash light out, and I can barely make out a monster walking towards the house. I stand up to go deal with it, but Hugo puts a hand on my shoulder.

“I got it, keep the light on it.” He says as he picks his rifle up, and takes aim. I do my best to keep the light steady on the monster. After a few moments, he fires, and the monster collapses. We’ll deal with the body in the morning. Hugo turns to me and bows, I give him an applause.

“Very impressive shot!” I praise.

“Thank you, thank you, I know, I’m the best.” We both laugh. I toss the butt of my cigarette onto the ground.

“I’m going to head back inside, you coming?” I ask.

“Nah, not yet.” He sighs, “I’m gonna sit out here for a little longer.”

“Ok, I’ll see you later then.”

“See you, amiga.” I open the door and step back inside.

End of arc 1

[chambersofthesea]

hi how are you? question for you, do you still want Jess & Rory to be together despite being pregnant with Logan's child? do you think it's fair that Jess changes his WHOLE life just for Rory's sake?

I think the way people view this as some unfair situation on Jess's end is more concerning than the reality of how it would really be, actually.

Firstly, to view Jess's current life as it is as being one that he changed solely for Rory's sake would be false to begin with. Jess didn't change his life for Rory. Rory as a matter of fact, made it plainly clear that she wouldn't agree to his sudden idea to run away together, and in doing so made it obvious that she won't allow him a place in her life as it was back then because of how unsure she was of his own stability regarding his decisions. And I mean, I can't blame her for that? Jess was flighty then. He was still a teenager who was homeless, didn't have a stable income and apart from Luke, had no one else to rely on when Liz was too busy trying to build a new life for herself with a new husband. And Jess as a result of this and his prior reconciliation with Luke, got to a point where he could decide on what he wanted for himself and his own life, which then led to him being the stable, mature adult we managed to see now. During this entire time, we see him go through several meetups with Rory, but even when their last one in season 6 ends on a tragic note, that doesn't make Jess dive off the deep end and become unstable again. This is because regardless of his feelings for Rory or where they stand, whether it's former exes or good friends, Jess's own life is of his making, and it has nothing to do with what Rory chooses to do with her life. And I'm pretty certain that Jess knows this and that Rory would not want to have his life and stability depend on her. We already saw how this went on with Logan, and frankly it's never a long-term solution if the way you lead your life solely depends on your partner.

Which brings me to my next point: I think that Jess would plainly not care if Rory had Logan's child. A lot of fans' obsession with this is so weird and backwards to me because it feels as though you guys push for some weirdly conservative view of life that these characters must lead, despite both Rory and Jess being children to former teen moms. Neither of them have ever known what it's like to have that "white picket fence" American dream of a home life. This is to say that no, I doubt Jess would consider Rory to be any lesser just because she has a child out of wedlock. I think he'd at most feel concern for her and her state, and maybe have some complicated feelings on the parentage of that kid depending on how Logan is as a parent, but I doubt he'd start preaching to Rory about how wrong she is about choosing what to do with her own body and pregnancy. That's frankly none of his business, and Rory was in her 30s by the time AYITL happens. So no, I don't think it wouldn't be fair for Jess to "change his entire life" for Rory because he plainly wouldn't. If Jess wants to be with Rory who would by then be a single mother and Rory would also want that, who am I to say "this is inexcusable" about two characters that are adults?

And lastly, yes I'd still like for them to be together. Rory and Jess are both adults, I think it's time for fans to start treating them as such and realize that these overly simplistic views of what a character "deserves" or doesn't don't matter when that's not what the character in question WANTS. Frankly, I doubt Jess would ever want to have a regular strategic family with anyone, since the way he grew up is far from what is "socially acceptable".

[kasha-formerlydrabbletastic]

Blowing Off Steam

Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Things have always been tense between the reader and Bucky, but what happens when things come to a head?

Word count: 4,269

Warnings: Mature readers only 18+ - minors do not interact! Vaginal sex, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, Dom/sub themes (who doesn’t love a bratty sub), unprotected sex (always use contraception), swearing.

.

.

.

.

“You’re lucky I saved your ass!”

“Well, no one fucking asked you to, did they?”

“No, so it looks like I’m not such a fucking prick after all, eh, Y/N?”

“Nope. You’re still a fucking prick, Bucky. Nothing in this world will ever make me change my mind about it either.”

“Need I remind you that -”

“Oh, shut up, the both of you!”

Steve’s voice cuts through the argument, effectively rendering the pair of you mute. It's surprising how long it's taken someone to crack, given the fact that your argument with Bucky started about an hour ago when the team entered the quinjet.

"Every goddamn time you're around each other you gotta argue about something," he continues, holding the attention of most of the team. "I don't want to hear another fucking word out of either of you for the rest of the ride home."

"Good job, Dad," Tony quips.

"But Bucky -"

"But Y/N-"

The pair of you speak at the same time, but Steve cuts you off again.

"Not. Another. Word." He punctuates each word with a jab of his authoritative pointer finger into the air between you. "This is the end of it. Silence. Now."

It takes a moment as you wrestle with the impulse to protest, but you ultimately sit back into your seat, folding your arms tightly over your chest. Bucky seems to do the same, his expression grumpy as ever as the two of you lock eyes.

"Fuck you," you mouth, extending a middle finger toward him.

"Fuck you," he counters silently.

You roll your eyes, settling back once more.

There has never been any real explanation, but from the moment you met him, you and Bucky have locked horns. He's stubborn, pigheaded, so full of himself and the way he operates that you can't help but be annoyed by him.

Then again, a good number of the team are cursed with the same qualities but you seem to get along quite well with them.

What is it about Bucky?

***

Per Steve's demand, there wasn't a single word passed between you and Bucky the rest of the way home. You stripped yourself of your gear after Steve's Dad Moment before sitting back and allowing yourself to take a nap the rest of the way home in your t-shirt and tactical pants. It wasn't until you got into the compound and to your desk in the team's shared office that any of your frustration boiled over again.

"Fucking asshole," you muttered between gritted teeth as you glanced over at Bucky's empty desk; his paperwork sits on the surface, needing to be done, but the man himself is nowhere to be found. Granted you are the only one at your desk doing paperwork.

Or so you thought.

"Thinking about me again?" you hear him say behind you.

You swivel in your chair to face him, his face smug as ever as steam rises up from the two mugs of coffee he holds.

"Well, not everything is about you, Bucky," you say. "Believe it or not."

"I would believe it if it were true," he grins; you make to reply, but he carries on. "I was gonna give this to you as a peace offering," he says, gesturing with one of the mugs of coffee, "but I don’t think you’ve learned Steve's lesson yet. So I'm just gonna keep it for myself. I am so tired, anyway."

He strides toward his desk, swaggering with each step, and it's almost as if you can't help the knee-jerk reaction of sticking your foot out into his path. His feet get caught up with yours, tripping him up enough that he loses grip of the mugs and stumbles forward; the mugs smash on the floor, but Bucky's reflexes refuse to let him fall too. He straightens up quickly, turning on his heel and staring daggers at you.

"Enjoy your coffee, Sergeant Barnes," you chuckle.

"What the fuck?" Bucky shouts.

"Oh, I'm sorry," you begin, wanting to taunt him but you get no further.

"Y/N, Bucky."

The two of you turn to Steve, who has finally returned to the office dressed in a basic t-shirt and jeans. He is more stern than you've ever seen him, standing with his arms crossed and his expression disappointed. He is very much the captain with his stance, staring the two of you down as if you were naughty children.

"Clean this up and then meet me in the conference room," he directs, his voice low and tone ominous.

You watch as he leaves, then switch your gaze to Bucky; you don't know what's about to happen, but something tells you Steve has had enough of the bullshit. It's possible you're about to lose your spot on the team, you think, and panic fills your chest as you stand from your chair, ignoring Bucky to the fullest as you reach for a trash can.

"Fuck," you murmur, picking up shards of mug and tossing them into the bin.

Bucky appears shortly after with several towels in hand, wiping up the coffee and smaller pieces before just chucking them into the bin, too.

With the mess cleaned up, the two of you silently march to the conference room where Steve sits at the head of the table.

"Oh, good," he says sarcastically, "you two managed to work together and accomplish something in a timely fashion, how about that?"

You take your seat next to him, wanting to ask what this is about but knowing full well what he's about to say. Bucky sits opposite you, quiet and brooding, and you feel a lurch of annoyance in your belly. You roll your eyes again, looking to Steve, trying to convey in your eyes the question, "How long do I have to stay here with him?" Steve doesn't look at you, though, his eyes fixed on his folded hands in front of him before he speaks.

"I don't know what it is about the two of you being around each other, but whatever it is, you need to cut it out," he says. "It's detrimental to the team working as a whole, not to mention it is fucking irritating."

Something in you rises to be defensive, but another, more rational side begins to kick in, keeping your mouth shut for a moment.

"The number of complaints I get from everyone else is almost ridiculous, guys. And it's only a matter of time before the two of you are bickering like an old married couple and someone gets hurt because you're not giving your full attention."

You had been so caught up with how much you and Bucky annoyed each other that not much else in your mind spared the time to think about how it might affect the team and your missions. Steve is right - and you know it - that one of these days, you and Bucky will be going at it and one of you will slip. You won't necessarily be the one who suffers, but it's likely that if the two of you continue on with your childish back-and-forth, you might lose track of a target, lose a mission, or worse, lose a teammate. With that thought, shame floods you, and you sit back in your chair, crossing your arms over your chest and gritting your teeth to keep from saying anything stupid.

"With that being said," Steve continues, "you two need to figure this out as soon as possible. What really gets me is that you're both so valuable to the team, but you let your bullshit get in the way of your effectiveness." Steve glances at the door, his expression shifting ever so slightly. "Actually... I'm gonna leave you two here for a minute, something just came up."

The slightest surge of panic rears in your chest as Steve gets up from his chair. You watch him incredulously as he leaves you here with Bucky, closing the door behind him. If you're not mistaken, though, you hear the door lock and your panic peaks just a little more.

You rise from your seat, following Steve's footsteps to the door and trying the handle; it doesn't budge.

"Fuck," you mumble. "FRIDAY, unlock the door, please."

"I'm sorry, Y/N," FRIDAY replies, "the orders are to keep the door locked for the next thirty minutes, barring an emergency."

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" you grumble, rubbing the palms of your hands into your eyes.

You almost don't register it, but you hear Bucky chuckle, a quiet laugh that brings your attention to him.

"What's funny about this?" you demand, just as quietly.

He sits back in his chair, strangely relaxed given that he's locked into the room with you. There's genuine amusement in his expression as he lounges, setting his hands on top of his head.

"Typical Steve," he says, looking at you with a sparkle in his eye. "Thinking he can save everyone."

You don't say anything, but shrug helplessly in agreement - probably agreeing with Bucky for the first time since you've known him.

"I guess he doesn't realize that he can't save everyone," you mutter, sitting back down.

Bucky shrugs this time. "That thought has never even occurred to him, I can promise you that."

Sparing a glance at Bucky, you fall into silence, unsure of what to say. He doesn't offer anything either, his smile slowly fading as the seconds tick on. The air thickens around you, the awkwardness growing more ungainly the longer neither of you speak. Though, it's possible that the whole thirty minutes have elapsed or that it's only been a few seconds before you figure out something to say.

"I'm sorry I tripped you earlier," you say quietly.

Bucky had been staring at the table, but he brings his gaze to you, studying you with a curiosity he has never once shown you before. He seems to take his time before he replies.

"I accept your apology," he says, leaning forward and putting his elbows on the table. "I'm sorry for... everything."

The moment hangs there, seconds ticking by as the two of you study each other; now that you look at him, finally confronting the reasons why you tease and antagonize him, you figure that maybe he's not always so grumpy-looking. There's a sparkle in his blue eyes, something witty and sweet that you've never allowed yourself to notice before. He's got a strong jaw, pretty pink lips, and a smile to die for. At once, it clicks why you've been so eager to step on every one of his nerves.

Something shifts in his expression, and he pushes his chair back, standing up. He doesn't take his eyes from you as he circles the table, but you push your chair back, too, taking after his lead. By the time he reaches you, you stand, facing him as the space between you shrinks.

Then, as if magnets pull you together, the pair of you collide; Bucky's flesh fingers curve around the back of your head, cradling it as he lowers his lips to yours. Despite how out of the blue this is, you melt into him, your hands finding his waist and pulling him close. His kiss is warm, his body taut under your touch as his other arm curls around your body, pressing your chests together. Your skin tingles in every place it meets his as the kiss deepens, each of you parting your lips for the other as your tongues explore new territory.

Then, as if your bodies can't get close enough, Bucky leans forward, his hands gripping your thighs as he lifts you onto the table. He doesn't once break the kiss, but as soon as you're settled, his hips knock your knees apart. Instinctively, your legs wrap around him, urging him closer to you. Your arms curl around his neck, too, making sure he doesn't get too far away from you. He responds, taking you in his arms in kind.

You don't know how long it lasts, and you don't care, especially when his lips stray, tracing your jaw and finding your pulse.

"Oh, Bucky," you sigh, your skin on fire from his touch.

"James," he says quietly against your neck.

For a moment, you pull back, staring into his eyes and smiling.

"James," you acknowledge, and he smiles too.

In the next second, though, a wickedness settles into his expression, a sly grin taking the sweet smile's place as his hands meet the button and fly of your pants. He pulls them open, his hand diving immediately into your panties.

"Fuck!" you gasp as his fingers slip between you lips, brushing over your clit to briefly dive into your heat.

"God damn," he groans. "Doll, you feel so good. You're so fucking wet for me."

You scoff, looking him dead in the eye. "Please. I'm sure if it were anyone else I'd still be just as wet."

"You sure about that?" he says, his eyes glittering with promise as he presses his fingertips to your clit, circling the singing nerves as if he's known how to all his life.

"Mmm," you hum, your fingers bunching into the front of his shirt as you pull him forward. "We'll just have to see, I guess."

"You're damn right," he says before crushing his lips to yours. He slips his fingers into you, his thumb working circles against your clit, and you moan into his mouth. "That's right, doll. I make you feel so fucking good, don't I?"

A sly smile of your own tugs at your lips as you pull your head back.

"Meh, I've had better."

He pauses for a moment, staring you in the face before he chuckles. He takes his hand from you as he uses his free hand to push you by the shoulder, urging you onto your back before he tugs your pants off, taking your panties with them.

"Spread those legs for me, Y/N," he orders softly, and you comply.

At once, his hand finds your heat again, his metal fingers diving in and curling against your g-spot as his flesh fingers work your clit. In no time at all, you writhe on the tabletop, the entirety of your energy focused on not coming, not giving in to his ego. It's no use, however, as he hits the right spots at the right time.

"Fuck!" you grunt, your toes curling as ecstasy explodes from your core; the orgasm rips through your body, rushing through your blood with a ferocity you've never known before as your heart pounds from your chest.

"I fucking told you, doll," Bucky teases, his hands slowing down before he removes them. "Look at you. All wrecked for me."

"You wish," you say, rising up onto your elbows to see Bucky's grin falter just slightly. "Why don't you really wreck me, James? Why don't you fuck the attitude out of me?"

Heat floods your body at the idea, but just then, Bucky smiles wider as the mischievous glint in his eyes seems to take him over completely.

"You want me," he begins slowly, his hands dropping to his belt, "to fuck," he undoes his belt, popping open the button on his pants, "the attitude," he pulls on the zipper, slipping his underwear down enough that his cock tumbles from its confines and into his hand, "out of you?"

Your eyes fix on his engorged, weighty flesh as he strokes himself, imagining what it would feel like to be split in half by it.

"You want it," he says; it's not a question at all, but an entirely accurate statement.

You meet his eyes once more to see the cockiest expression on his face.

"And what if I said yes?" you reply.

Bucky leans in, his lips close to yours.

"Beg me for it," he murmurs against your mouth.

"No," you say, pushing him away gently as you slip off the table; your hand just barely closes around his girth and strokes. "I won't beg for it." You get to your knees, coming face to face with his gorgeous cock. "But you will."

"You think so, Y/N?" he laughs, but moans the minute you take him into your mouth. "Fuuuuuuck."

You swirl your tongue around the head before taking him as far back into your mouth as you can. Bucky nearly whimpers the moment the tip enters the back of your throat and you swallow around him. It takes everything you've got to keep from laughing at him as he leans over, bracing himself on the table.

Bobbing your head along his shaft, you listen to him; he curses, making pleas to God as you work him up. He tries to hold it together, but the way you suck and lick and tease has him squirming. Before you know it, though, he yanks himself from you with a growl, picking you up off the floor and turning you around; his erection presses against your ass as he twines his fingers in your hair, pressing your hips against the table.

"Baby doll," he croons in your ear, his chest hard against your back. "You think you're so cute, eh? Just you wait, Y/N. Just you wait."

He presses you down onto the tabletop, his hand still gripping your hair. Almost instantly, you feel the tip of his cock brush your lips, sliding along your heat to press against your clit for just a moment. He does this a few times before he finally presses into your center.

The moment hangs in the air as your anticipation grows, your yearning to be filled finally being granted only Bucky doesn't continue. He stays, just the tip of his cock planted in you for a moment before it slips out again, and you let out the smallest whine.

"Oh, doll," he says, his tone mocking. "Did you want that? Did you want my big fat cock inside you?"

You collect your wits, unwilling to let him win.

"I bet you want to get inside me, James," you say, your hand finding his in your hair. "God, I bet you want to fuck me. I bet you've always wanted to fuck me, from the minute you met me."

He slips his cock along your heat again, and you bite your lip to keep from moaning as it meets your clit; he bounces his cock against it a few times before teasing it with gentle circles.

"I bet you've thought of nothing but this pussy since I joined the team," you continue, baiting him into giving in. "I bet that's why you're such a prick, because you could never have it. You wanna know what I think, James?"

"What do you think, Y/N?" he replies, replacing his tip back into your center as he leans over you, his face growing closer to yours.

"I think," you say, adjusting so you can see his face better, "that there have been so many times that you've imagined having me. Times when you found yourself imagining me in this exact position, with your dick buried inside me, and couldn't help but rub one out. You ever fucked yourself to the thought of me, James?"

Bucky chuckles. "Doll, you have no idea. But if we're placing bets, I bet you've done the same. You think I don't know? On all those missions we've been on, you think I didn't hear you fuck yourself in the next room? That I don't know that's how you blow off steam?"

You smile as he presses just a little further into your heat.

"Doll," he says, standing up and bringing you with him until your back arches against his chest, his lips brushing your ear as he continues, "you think I haven't heard you call my name?"

"Looks like we're at an impasse," you chuckle.

Bucky laughs too, dragging hot, wet kisses along your neck for a second.

"Nah," he says, letting go of your hair as he slowly curls his hand around your neck, pushing your head back onto his shoulder. "Because I've got the upper hand here."

"So you think," you quip as he presses just a little further into you; your body tenses, awaiting the full feeling of his cock.

"Oh, I know, Y/N," he says, retreating just a little. “I know for damn sure. Now, what do we say?”

“I don’t know, what do we say?”

He offers a dark chuckle as he pulls all the way out. “If you’re not gonna be a good girl, I won’t fuck you.”

“I wish I could believe you, Barnes,” you reply. “But seeing as how I haven’t complied with you yet and you’re still here with your hard-on poking me in the ass cheek, I just can’t take you all that seriously.”

“That’s fair,” he says before suddenly letting go of you. 

You turn around, fairly surprised as you watch him hitch his pants back up, putting his cock away.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” you say with an incredulous laugh. 

“Well, I’m sitting back down until Steve gets back,” he says, checking the time. "There's still about fifteen minutes before he gets back."

Once more collecting your wits, you smile. With an idea coalescing in your brain, you stride to his side of the table, hopping up onto the tabletop right next to him to ensure that he sees everything you're about to work with.

"Well, then," you say, spreading your legs as your fingers meet your aching clit. "I hope you don't mind, but I'm a little worked up right now and I need to, as you said, blow off steam."

Bucky's smile falters as his eyes drop from yours to between your legs, watching you work. The very fact that he's watching sends another flood of arousal to your already dripping cunt, your need for release growing stronger by the second.

"Mmm," you hum, slipping your fingers into yourself.

Bucky doesn't look away once. On the contrary, he rises from his seat, looking pained as he witnesses your pleasure. You put on a show, your moans and whimpers growing more frequent; the move has the desired effect as Bucky's hand drops to the erection in his pants, palming it through the fabric.

"Fuck," he murmurs, yanking his pants down once more. He moves forward, hand around his cock to position himself inside you, but you were waiting for this; you lean forward, pressing your hand against his chest to stop his progress toward you.

"I'm sorry," you say, "but what are you doing?"

"I'm fucking you," he says, stepping forward once more, but you hold your ground.

"Says who?"

"Says me."

He moves forward again, but you still keep him at bay.

"And what do we say, James?" you purr.

"What?" he replies.

You lean closer to him, your lips almost brushing his as you say, "Beg me for it."

"Are you serious?" he says, getting impatient.

"Damn right I am," you reply.

Bucky struggles with it for a moment, but seems to decide to fold.

"Y/N," he says, stroking his cock, a drop of precum beading on the tip. "Please."

"Please what?" you reply, relishing in the frustration showing through his features.

"Please, please, let me fuck you."

You grin, satisfied that you won, as you let your hand slide around the back of his neck from his chest, pulling his mouth against yours as he immediately buries himself inside you.

"Ah!" you moan against his lips as he fills you to the hilt.

"God fucking dammit," he groans. "You feel so fucking good, Y/N."

At once, he begins thrusting, his hands holding tight onto your hips as he moves. You lean back onto one arm, your other hand finding your clit once again, pressing circles against yourself.

"Fuck, Y/N," he says, his thrusts growing quicker.

His cock drags along your g-spot, the perfect sensation to accompany your clitoral stimulation. In next to no time, you snap, your body bombarded by your next orgasm.

"Oh, fuck," Bucky says through gritted teeth as you pulse around him.

His grip tightens on you as his hips press quicker, harder than ever, before they stutter; he pulls out, his hand grasping his cock and stroking it until he comes. Spurts of cum land on your thigh, thick and warm, as Bucky tries to get his breathing under control, his forehead landing on your shoulder for support.

He takes a moment, straightening up once he’s gotten control of himself. As he backs away, his eyes fix on yours, a soft grin pulling at his lips. He puts himself back together, zipping and buttoning his pants deliberately.

“You win,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender. 

“I know,” you laugh, watching as he moves around the table to grab your pants and underwear from where he pulled them off of you. He walks them back to you, handing them over. “Clean it.”

Once more, his mischief is written all over his face as he bends down, using his tongue to mop up his mess. The sensation tingles along your thigh to your core, and you wish you had longer than just the thirty minutes allotted to the two of you. Your fingers tangle in his hair, staying put as he stands back up.

“Good boy,” you say, pulling his face to yours for a kiss.

“Looks like I’m your bitch now,” he says with a chuckle.

“Oh, doll,” you say, taking delight in the look on his face as you use his word. “It was bound to happen.”