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undertheopensky · 3 months ago

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Heart And Soul Asunder: Whumptober 2023 Director's Cuts

A collection of fun facts, director’s comments, and deleted scenes.

Day 1

Fun fact! Most sign languages incorporate a completely separate grammar system to their ‘spoken’ forms (English to BSL, ASL and Auslan, for example). For fluency purposes, I (and most other people for that matter) write the signed text as ‘English translations’, just like you would any other foreign language.

The alternative, ‘glossing’, is writing the words as they are signed, and is generally considered a poor written representation of sign language because it ‘reads’ as very simplistic, without the associated body language, facial expression, gestures, and emotional indicators that are purely visual.

Italics is in fact not the preferred method for indicating signing in prose, as the Deaf community rightly regards it as just speaking and needs no other punctuation than “”. However I’m still trying to figure out a visual and storytelling balance when non-Deaf individuals are switching back and forth between speaking methods.

Day 2

Fun fact! Every line of Sky’s ‘dreaming’ dialogue is shit I have said in my sleep, to the general horror and consternation of my sister. She was mildly displeased to be asked for ‘the creepiest things you’ve ever heard me say while unconscious’.

Sky’s inaudible blood comment would have been either “It’s said that only those plants that are fed on blood will bloom red” or “Under the blood, what do you have left?”

Day 3

This one wanted to be much longer, but didn’t have any material to fill it, and I didn’t have time to let things grow organically. I feel like the pacing suffered for that.

Day 4

Fun fact! I had over 1000 words of ‘scrap’ material by the time I was done with this fill.

I’ve had difficult works before, but this one took it to a whole new level. It got to the point where I was writing individual sentences as their own separate entities and then frankensteining them together with joining words or sentences or pieces of another pre-written sentence. I was deeply impressed it turned out as coherent as it did.

Day 5

Due to deadlines and me attempting to keep a handle on my plot pacing, this one had several minor plot points cut from the original. I was very disappointed but also it was long enough as it was…

Here’s an excerpt from the most complete of those cuts.

Blue wakes to pain searing through his torso. He tries to jolt upright; can’t, the cord of pain through his ribs binding him in an agonised hunch. He’s winded, he recognises – Blue scrabbles away – The man lunges – Then trips and falls seemingly through the floor. Blue can’t get up immediately. Pain still lashes through him with every gasping breath. He knows straightening out will help. Can’t make himself do it, not with a red ribbon of agony tying his lungs to something in his core. Instead he curls in a little more and uses his feet to shuffle away from the spot the guy had vanished. He’d thought he’d seen – a flash, except the opposite; a sudden moment of night-sky darkness – but now the grass just looks… normal. Slowly springing up again after his weight had squished it down, a few broken blades sticking up at awkward angles. Blue’s tempted to poke it with his stick. He refrains – he doesn’t want to lose his best tool, if whatever ate the guy decided wood is tasty too – and after marking the closest tree, he limps towards the river. He’s never touching that patch of grass again.

Day 6

*buries face in hands*

Feel like I owe everyone an apology for this one – there was so much screaming in my inbox. And it’s still trying to develop itself into a long, involved torture fic. I had a whole fucking outline written before realising it was way too long and involved for a daily prompt, and mercilessly cut it back. But the outline exists… and could be used…

*head on desk*

Day 7

The reason Warriors was so grumpy was that he’d already taken a keese to the face from an earlier vire. He thought Legend had seen and was teasing him.

Wind was annoyed with Twilight for chasing Legend off. “He was going to TEACH ME SHIT, you asshole!”

An incomplete alternative scene, scrapped because the Vibes were wrong:

Legend takes time over the next few days to really watch the people around him interacting. Usually he doesn’t bother. People are baffling, and watching them is somewhere between aggravating, confusing, and anxiety-inducing. He has no idea why it’s considered an actual hobby. Everyone keeps him at arms-length. And Legend prefers it that way, he doesn’t like people in his personal space, it just makes him jumpy – but Wild is like that too. Flinchy when people get too close. And Twilight is always reaching out to him, verbally if not physically. [Example conversation.] And when he does move in physically, it’s always at Wild’s pace. Patient, gentle, even when roughhousing. The only time any one of them touches Legend is to shove him, or pinch his ears. And it’s always because Legend had gotten too close to them. The only exception is Hyrule. He comes closer than the others…

A lot of people resonated with this one. I don’t want to say I’m glad I made you all cry, but I AM glad I was able to pull such a strong emotional response from you. I love you guys. <3

Day 8

Fun fact! This was originally supposed to be a one-and-done, except I hit 3000 words and realised I wasn’t even CLOSE to finishing and couldn’t just cut plot points because this one has STRUCTURE, dammit. Fortunately, the one remaining day I had yet to generate an idea for had a perfect prompt for the second half, and all was well. (Except not really.)

This section was part of the first draft, but didn’t suit the Vibe, but I still like it:

“You should keep an eye on the veteran. He’s not dealing half as well as you think he is. And the chosen hero, for that matter. For heroes of legend and lore, you’re not a very well-adjusted bunch.” Legend makes an outraged noise. “Why don’t you do something about it, then?” “And do what?” Four’s dead brother shoots back. “I’m not real. I’m not even close to being real. I may as well have never existed, for all history remembers of me.”

Day 9

“You liar.”

Legend wasn’t talking about what Four was saying – he was calling the smile, and every one that had come before it, a lie.

Day 10

Fun fact! In medieval Europe (which LoZ is loosely set in), multiple births were considered VERY bad omens – adultery, demonic influence, witches’ spells, changelings, etc, to the point that multiples were very often killed or abandoned soon after birth, and sometimes their parents were, too. Combining this with the fact that several Links have dealt with evil clones of themselves was obviously going to be hilarious, but I didn’t get to explore it to its fullest potential. Maybe in the followup…

Day 11

Fun fact! Sometimes sprained ankles hurt worse than broken ankles. Ain’t bodies grand?

Day 12

A few snippets from a plot point that didn’t wind up eventuating:

“Things are very scary for you at the moment,” Sky murmurs, “and even though you’re being very brave, it doesn’t make them less scary. It’s okay to be afraid.”

“Because just like you come after me, there are other heroes who come after you. And they know your story. They know that you win.”

Day 13

There was originally going to be a second half of this to go in Day 30: Bridal Carry, but then I had a really good idea for an alternative. There’s more notes for this one but they’re a major spoiler for the second part, so you’ll have to wait for the followup for more info!

Day 14

This just fucking came to me when I first saw the prompt but was in no way suitable for Whumptober:

Four contemplates the lettuce Wild had handed him. It’s a little comical from the outside: the vegetable is larger than his head, as Wars all too gleefully points out. Four doesn’t respond to his teasing. Just rolls the lettuce around in his hands, considering every leafy angle. Then he takes a bite from it as if it were an apple. Wars inhales the mouthful he’d just taken from his waterskin. Wind slaps him on the back, howling with laughter, while Wars splutters and chokes and leaks water from his nose in a very undignified fashion. Hyrule and Sky both watch, fascinated, as Four makes his way through the entire lettuce. “Why,” is all Twilight says. Four can only shrug. “It looked good.”

Day 15

That Yiga member decides that the life choices that led them to stab a frightened (apparent) eight-year-old were bad ones and repents, abandoning the clan and moving to Hateno to help teach children to make up for it. Sometimes they wonder if the child managed to escape, but mostly they try not to think about it, because how could they have made it when the Plateau is laced with spies and they’d injured them so badly?

Now I want to write a followup where the Chain runs into this specific Yiga member and they have a breakdown when they see Four.

Day 16

Fun fact! Before you even begin exercising, there is what’s called an ‘anticipatory rise’ in heart rate, which preps your body to do work! In this fic there is a similar anticipatory rise in magic, which is why Legend has an easier time transforming when he’s expecting it. :)

Day 17

For some reason these guys wanted to act out a Monty Python skit where Tiny!Legend asked every one of them in turn if they were a knight, which for obvious reasons did not pass the vibe test, but some of the excerpts were hilarious:

Tiny!Legend squints at him suspiciously. “You’re not a knight?” “Nope,” says Time breezily. “The armour’s useful, is all.” “Didn’t stop that moblin from running you right through, old man,” says Four. “T’be fair, it was our first experience with black-bloods,” says Twilight, and Tiny!Legend’s eyes go wide as he considers just how much power it would have taken to drive a weapon through steel plate.

“Are you a knight?” “Only technically,” says Sky, appearing very focused on his wood carving. “Where I come from, a knight’s main duties involve catching people who fall off sky islands more than dealing with monsters or politics.”

Wars grimaces. “I couldn’t talk Artemis out of it, okay? It’s supposed to be an honour, but mostly it’s just paperwork.”

“Does it count if I don’t remember it?” asks Wild, completely guileless.

“Fuck that,” says Four, “I told Dad he could go kick rocks. I’m a blacksmith, dammit.”

“I’m a pirate!” Wind says indignantly, and Tiny!Legend relaxes the rest of the way, giggling.

Day 18

You have no idea how bad my brain wanted to make the Minish evil and leading him into a cult-related trap. I had to have a serious debate with myself over clear story beats and Minish physiology as a fae race before it could be laid to rest. Also, it would have screwed up my pacing, because this was supposed to be the last part, dammit!

On further consideration – this concept could make for an amazing angst fic, because it’s set in the Downfall Hyrule – what if the Minish became corrupted as the land did, so that evil deeds were what sustained them instead of gratitude?

The experiment with making the Minish’s communication purely described by Four was partly to show that they use a completely different language to Hylians, and partly to highlight that Four’s not in the clearest mental state right now. I definitely enjoyed everyone freaking out and creating theories around this particular design choice – I’m really happy it came out how it did and that everyone found it a) intelligible and b) distinctive.

This ruined the flow but I liked how it came out:

“You know me?” he says. All Minish know him, they say. There are stories passed down, of the Hero who was helped by the Minish – and who helped them in return, the way so few others did.

A follow-up excerpt:

Four frowns. “I don’t have a concussion.” “Four, half your face is covered in blood and I can see the knot from here. If you don’t have a concussion I will be very surprised.” Spoiler alert! Four has a massive concussion.

Fun fact! If you have a concussion, you are not going to be a reliable judge of whether or not you have a concussion. That’s also why Four can’t hear the Colours; in fact all four of them are there, just muddled together and in too much pain to realise they’re all in control, or even just how much pain they’re in. He got a hell of a whack on the head.

Day 19

This section ruined the flow but was fun to write:

The tight control he kept his temper under – always trying so hard not to respond in anger, to think through his words and actions before making them real. The only time Legend had ever seen him lose it – Wild had taken a stupid, dangerous risk in blowing up part of a mountain, burying half their enemies in a rockslide – but because he hadn’t warned them first, Sky and Wind nearly got caught up in it too. And Four had been furious on their behalf. He’d bellowed about communication and being aware of your teammates the whole time Hyrule was fixing up the bruises and Wind’s broken wrist and not repeated himself once. Wild was not the only one to look at Four with more respect after that.

Day 20

This line was needlessly dramatic so I took it out, but I still like it (plus context):

There’s a rustle of movement as several people start digging through their packs. Sky hadn’t realised – everyone’s gathered around the doorway. Unable to help, unable to look away, as Hyrule fought death itself for Four’s soul, and won.

There are followups coming for this ‘verse, focusing more on the healing. :)

Day 21

The first half of this was entirely whump-free, for reasons unknown to me. Listen man I do not have any control over these guys, I just work here.

Okay that’s slightly a lie, I did consider scrapping it or cutting it back, but it made for a nice counterpart to the actual whump, so I kept it. :)

“What do you even want with us?” he demands, all too aware of the two behind him. Just as trapped, just as helpless. He’s the oldest, here, the veteran hero; it’s up to him to find a way out.

Yeah, Legend completely forgot that Time is the oldest of all of them. Tbf he’s spent the last two-three days being a complete gremlin as well as being tiny, so I think we can forgive Legend the lapse.

Baby!Time shrugs. “We negotiated.”

I do not remember what this line referenced so I had to take it out but I remember it was hilarious.

“Thus proving that Time is in fact the Hero of Time,” says Four dryly, looking at Legend significantly. Legend casts about for something to throw at him while Wars tries to focus on whether or not Time can walk a straight line without puking.

Written by my beta while I was struggling with flow issues. It didn’t make it into the final draft but it made me laugh. Three cheers for my sister Sunshine, folks, who checks my shit for flow and consistency while knowing fuckall about Legend of Zelda and Linked Universe in particular. She never even questioned me over the weird names! I love her so much.

Day 22

This one fought me more than was entirely necessary, and has also decided to exist within a universe known as ‘your body is not a cordial bottle’.

When the Four Swords Links turned back into one Link, all their feelings and experiences went with them – but they don’t spread out as if over four people. Everything is felt exactly as intensely as if it was the original Link having that experience, because it was. So Four has just as strong a reaction to ice and cold as Blue, not one-quarter of a reaction; similarly, they all feel the same grief over Shadow’s death. It’s not diluted out just because there’s four people experiencing it.

(‘Your body is not a cordial bottle’ has medical origins – essentially, taking two drugs with opposing effects is NOT necessarily going to just cancel each other out, stop doing that shit and talk to your doctor! Also, drinking lots of water is not going to dilute the effects unless it’s alcohol, and that’s for a different reason.)

In hindsight, Wild has a very Valleygirl-esque voice in this, and I have no idea why.

An alternative scene, now with added nudity!

A gasp. “Four, your clothes!” A louder gasp. “MY clothes!” There had been no time, no thinking or deliberating. They were left with just the thing they clung to the hardest. For most of them, it seemed, that was their drawers, the last layer of clothing between them and open air. That Sky had refused to let go of the Master Sword, even as all his layers fell away - well, that’s not all that surprising. For Four to abandon his dignity -? And it wasn’t even his weapon. The only thing left on him is the worn leather cord of a necklace. Whatever it is, Four’s got it clutched in one hand like he’s scared to lose it. A pendant, of some kind? Four sees him looking, and instead of embarrassment - instead of covering himself up with a laugh or a wince - he looks afraid. Both hands go to the pendanty and he backs away, breathing hard, until he hits the wall and jolts like he’d forgotten it was there. “Four, it’s okay -” Four cringes away, curled in on himself to hide. Sky automatically reaches for his sailcloth to cover him, and annoyance flashes when he remembers.

Rough, but it amused me. (ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ)

Another alternative scene divergent from the original, cut because it was interfering with flow:

Four’s hand tightens. Hot blood starts to seep into the spaces between his fingers, something sharp like panic coiling around his heart. “Steady, Four,” says Sky. “Deep breaths. Shit, you’re bleeding again – Wild!” “I’m sorry! I was just curious!” Four wants out of this conversation, but there’s nowhere to go. The air in here is thin and stale. It’s not enough. His skin is hot, a volcano’s breath looming, and his core is so cold it hurts to breathe – “Aaand down you go,” says Sky, firm hands helping him to the sand. Four gasps for air. His ears are ringing again, a high-pitched screech that mostly drowns out the hissed argument happening over his head. He can’t make out the words but he knows what they’re saying, what’s wrong with him and don’t upset him and don’t you know he’s delicate – Four hates it with the depth of a bottomless sea. The words come out so deep a navy they’re almost black. “Just fucking get it over with!” The argument stops. “Four, you don’t have to say anything,” Sky starts. Four shakes his head, hard enough that it nearly dislodges Sky’s hands. “If you’re just going to dance around it, and – and talk behind my back, then – just get it over with!” The shadows in his mind flitter and murmur protest; he ignores them, ignores the chill panic on his skin and the ice in his gut to shove onwards. “Ask, damn you!” “Hey!” Warriors barks, softening his voice when it makes Four flinch, “we are not going to force you to talk about something you’re not comfortable with!” “Like talking about it behind my back and making up your own damn theories is any better,” Four snaps back. “You’re not going to like my answers anyway!” “Okay, okay, we’ll have the conversation, but you need to breathe!”

Four was very determined to have that panic attack…

Can you tell I really loved this fill? I need to write a followup someday.

Day 23

Jumping down an entire flight of stairs LOOKS cool, but there’s a high risk of falling on your face, not to mention the stress it puts on your joints, my knees hurt just thinking about it

Fun fact! I HAVE jumped down an entire flight of stairs before! Except it wasn’t on purpose – I slipped on a patch of ice and fell, but somehow never made contact with the stairs themselves, and landed on my feet at the bottom in a gymnastics crouch, shellshocked but apparently none the worse for wear.

(This was a lie. My left knee has NEVER forgiven me for it. It hurts in cold/wet weather and will dump me on my ass with no warning if I don’t keep up my physio.)

Another fun fact! The Yiga’s base in BotW is BULLSHIT. Who the fuck puts prisoners right at the entrance??? This pissed me off so much I did a rough redesign placing the cell closer to the heart of it. I also made other cosmetic changes in making it more assassin-y. Did you spot any?

Day 24

This one - and to a certain extent the followup - actually had a very specific inspiration! If anyone successfully guesses what it is I will be very impressed, though. It's not the most obvious connection.

Day 25

I TAKE BACK EVERY COMPLAINT I EVER HAD ABOUT MOORHAUNT, THIS FIC WAS HELL TO WRITE.

Because I can’t write in a straight line, I wound up having to scrap what was possibly my favourite exchange of the entire fic. This section is CANON to the continuity it just didn’t make it in somehow!

He says nothing more as they walk away. As soon as they’re out of earshot, Legend says, “Okay, I get why he won’t touch the Master Sword now.” “I’m surprised he can even touch his own sword,” says Wind. “Fuck, the thing killed his brothers, how can he stand it –” “And he would have been right there when it happened,” Warriors murmurs. “You don’t think… it hurt?” Sky thinks of Four – quiet, steady, helpful Four – having his last memory of his siblings being them screaming in pain, and nearly throws up on the spot.

Seriously. This fic was such a pain in my ass. TWICE I wrote myself into a time loop, no one wanted to say the hard stuff, and Vio kept being cryptic and offputting and scaring everyone off.

(Again. Ocarina was supposed to be about 3k max and a single instalment. Instead it’s 14k over two chapters, with at least one followup in the works because Sky felt guilty.)

Day 26

An alternative scene, inspired by this art: https://www.tumblr.com/undertheopensky/731132480379338752

For a minute Time thinks Four has fallen asleep at the table. It wouldn’t be the first time someone’s fallen asleep in a position they regretted the next morning, and he’s considering whether to wake him or let him experience the consequences of his actions when a muffled whimper makes him pause. Nightmares. That decides it, then. He lays a gentle hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Four?” Four doesn’t jerk with consciousness, just curls in tighter, and Time realises he wasn’t asleep. Just – weeping into his kitchen table at two in the morning. Now he feels awkward. It’s one thing to stir a friend from nightmares; entirely another to offer comfort where it may not be wanted. Four shakes with a muffled sob - but doesn’t shake him off.

Day 27

Unfortunately this exchange didn’t suit the Vibe:

“Do people really fall off Skyloft that much?” “Often enough,” says Sky, too honestly if the way Wind pales is any guide.

This one was originally intended to just be the first half, but then Something got hold of my brain and I remembered how much I love With His Own Wings, and it kind of grew legs from there and I was no longer in control. It was fun, though, and I love the way it turned out!

Day 28

Fun fact! Though this is the followup to Day 24, it was in fact conceptualised and half-written first!

It was a lot of fun describing Shadow’s form here - because he’s not Hylian, he just chooses to sometimes look like one, and he’s actually shadow - which gave me a lot of leeway in what he COULD look like, what forms he could take, and how those forms would actually appear. Conservation of mass says there’s a limits to how large he could make himself; exceeding that would result in a less solid form, and how to describe that? The fluidity of having no internal structure that you had to adhere to; how do you describe such a being when you're used to things having a concrete foundation to work from?

Day 29

Fun fact! This is the only fill with no dialogue!

It’s one of the shortest fills but I really love the concept. I’ve seen a few fics where Four taught Legend some blacksmithing tricks, but I don’t know of any where he took him on as a full apprentice. (IF ANYONE ELSE DOES PLEASE TELL ME, I WOULD READ THE SHIT OUT OF THAT.)

There’s no followup planned for this one, but a summary of the events that follow:

The book becomes one of Legend’s most prized possessions

Ravio eventually talks him into getting it restored by a professional to better protect it

The bookbinder teaches him about how to handle the book so as to preserve it as long as possible

It’s by no means a complete fix, but Legend stops focusing on his depression and turns some of his energy to hunting down other mentions of the previous heroes. Maybe most of them were in other timelines, but - Four. Sky. Time. He knows they lived through his timeline, and maybe there are still traces of them left.

When he explores the Lost Woods with this goal in mind (remembering that Time had said he grew up there), he always winds up at the same old tree stump; gnarled and moss-eaten and rotting. The clearing it sits in is nothing special, not really, but after the fourth time he winds up there without trying, Legend just - sits. Listens to the forest, and feels a strange kind of peace steal over him.

He visits often, after that. Just for the quiet, the feeling of being close to something he doesn’t quite understand. Sometimes the woods gift him things: small flowers or pretty seeds that appear in the belly of the rotted-out trunk, placed by unseen hands. It feels wrong to take without giving back, so Legend starts to leave feathers and coloured stones in return.

Flowers die. Seeds rot. And the single metal scale he finds is rusted almost black.

They’re precious all the same.

Sky is harder, so far back in history even the stories of him have been lost. Almost everything related to him had to have disintegrated by now, lost to the ravages of time. Legend can’t keep himself from looking, though. From exploring old ruins, and investigating their origins; connecting them to old tales and using those threads to find new places to search. There are monsters, there are always monsters, but somehow it doesn’t feel as hopeless as trying to keep the road between Kakariko and Castle Town clear when he knows it’ll be overrun again in a week.

He has a goal.

(And it will be years later that he’s finally rewarded for his diligence. That in checking the newly formed sinkhole he discovers a crack in the cliff rock through which he can see a faint and tarnished gleam.

It’s simple work to chip a hole large enough to fit a hand; a little more to widen it enough to pull out the plain silver box, small enough to fit in his palm.

There’s no story or legend that led him here; there’s no inscription on the box or identifying markings in the cavern he pulled it from.

But he opens the lid to find ruby-red hoops of stone fairly radiating blessed magic, and he knows.)

…this basically turned into a mini-followup didn’t it XD

Day 30

THE ALTERNATIVE THAT OVERTOOK DAY 13’S SECOND HALF.

Fun fact! I am also allergic to feathers! And cats, and horses, and lanolin (and therefore sheep).

I work with all of these animals.

(Look, no one ever said I was smart.)

I had a lot of fun with this one.

Aren is the name of the on-site healer in the on-site academy infirmary, because you can’t have an entire building of hormonal teenagers whacking each other with sticks and NOT have somewhere to fix broken bones in close proximity. I spent twenty minutes on the SkSw wiki to determine that this person didn’t exist in-universe, and two minutes making them up.

The title is an unapologetic multi-level pun. First there’s the obvious - struggling to catch your breath in the middle of an allergic asthma attack. Then there’s Sky catching Legend as he falls. And finally, it evokes the phrase ‘catch your death’, meaning to become suddenly ill from an environmental change. :) I love puns. This made me so happy.

I was originally considering Trust Fall, but it’s so overdone, and didn’t really suit the plot or the vibe, so I was super happy to come up with this as an alternative!

Day 31

Fun fact! This fill was the first one I completed, and the ONLY one I 100% finished before October started. (I wrote it in four hours while supervising undergrads.)

Sometimes, friends can say really mean things to each other, and it’s all in good fun – unless someone’s not speaking the same language as you, and no one even realises.

The Chain isn’t being deliberately mean. They’re just too rough with Legend, thinking he understands they’re playing, while Legend thinks they’re pushing him away. Lots of people picked up in the first instalment that Legend is very autistic-coded; I hope that the continuation felt true to this fact, and was also cathartic!

#whumptober 2023 #skies writes #feel free to ask about followups :)#linked universe #lu fic #lu four #lu sky #lu time #lu wind #lu wild #lu twilight #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu warriors

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wen-kexing-apologist · 2 years ago

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The Moonlight Chicken Sign Language Index (aka signs that are the same or similar between Thai Sign Language and American Sign Language)

I asked, literally one person answered, and I kind of already had this assembled because of a conversation with @respectthepetty but that's enough for me at this point so...I'm basically just gonna copy and paste what I already had from that one reply in to it's own post.

DISCLAIMER: I am a hearing person with a minuscule (self-taught) knowledge of ASL and no knowledge of MTSL. My intention in making this post is not to teach anyone ASL, that is not my job and I should not be doing it because I am not Deaf. I am simply identifying signs I recognize. ASL is a beautiful language that I do hope to one day be able to learn properly because it is, personally, a very important language to me. I invite any Deaf or CODA people who may be reading this post to give me any critiques, or if anyone with actual knowledge of ASL, not my self-taught knowledge, identifies any more signs from the MTSL in Moonlight Chicken to ASL I would be incredibly interested to see them!

I am making this index partially because I really enjoy seeing where and how MTSL and ASL are identical or at least similar. Sorry they are not in alphabetical order.

The first couple are from @respectthepetty who also did a write up in the original post of this about finger spelling MTSL versus ASL.

So without further ado and in whatever order I feel like...The Signs:

TODAY/NOW

NOW

Tell me why when I google TODAY sign asl gif I get signs for literally every holiday "st patricks day, labor day" but not DAY on it's own. It's essentially the same in ASL although in ASL instead of a flat palm moving down it's can also be the letter D in sign language

DAY

SAY/NAME

NAME

Side note, this is the sign for HEARING in ASL but in Moonlight Chicken the same/similar sign seems to mean SAY:

DEAF

(i don't) UNDERSTAND

UNDERSTAND is the first part of this gif where he sticks his finger up next to his ear, it's essentially the same in ASL.

UNDERSTAND

To say I DON'T UNDERSTAND in ASL you would use the same finger motion but also shake your head no.

Double side note, sorry all of these ASL gifs are of white men, the Google Images market is absolutely overflowing with gifs of these two in particular.

DIFFICULT

WORK

HOME

If memory serves, Heart does not slide his hand from his lip to his cheek, just taps his cheek.

BEFORE:

STUDY:

LEARN:

YEAR

Clapping in MTSL:

Clapping in ASL:

And that is all I have so far. I linked it above, but please click through to the finger spelling write up that respectthepetty did because it also discusses Gloss and comments on Black Sign Language which is it's own sign language form in the US and is not ASL. I will update this post again if I find other signs that seem to correlate. There are a couple of more signs I discuss in the previous post about this, but I didn't include those in this index because they are far more speculative sign comparisons than these ones are and I don't want this index to have potentially incorrect information on it

Edit: Okay I know I literally just said above that I didn't want the index to have potentially incorrect information on it, and this bit of signing is not translated through caption or through Li Ming saying the words so I cannot be 100% certain that this is correct. However, I am posting this one because given the context of the scene (this is when Li Ming goes to Heart's house after his big fight with Uncle Jim and Heart sprays Li Ming with the hose) and how similar the sign is, I think it means the same thing. I will only put the word down for the ASL just in case I am wrong, I don't want to attribute the wrong word to the MTSL sign but...

PLAY in ASL

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rosieposiepie · 5 months ago

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What are your thoughts on a written Sign language?

It's not really possible to write in a signed language because signed language is signed—the entire language is designed to be done manually with your hands. To be a visual-spatial language, it isn't linear in any way. Grammar and emphasis depend on facial expressions and body language; there's really no way to perfectly translate that onto a page.

Now, for ASL specifically, we do have something called Gloss, which is not the same thing as writing ASL. Rather, it's a simplification of ASL to help teach people the patterns of grammar, but it's not really something that would be an effective way to communicate except when teaching people ASL.

See, Gloss is a way to convey the grammatical structure of ASL, but it really doesn't have any meaning outside of an educational context and ultimately isn't an effective way to communicate. The whole point of signed languages is that they are signed - signing is the most effective way for Deaf people to communicate. It's better than written language for our needs, and that's why any attempt to write ASL ultimately is more useful for hearing people trying to learn it than for anyone Deaf to actually communicate.

If you want to write a character who signs, like for a story, then there are a couple of things you can do, depending on the POV and your experience with ASL. The easiest thing to do would just be to replace "he said" with "he signed" and keep the actual content of the conversation in English or whatever language the story is being written in. As a Deaf person who is fluent in ASL, I did write some fanfiction involving a Deaf character and her interpreter, and here is an example of how I conveyed ASL in writing:

He realized Joey and her interpreter, Kenny, were entering the bullpen. Joey waved and Josh with a friendly smile and signed something at him, eyebrows furrowed as she pointed at the television. “How’s she doing?” Kenny interpreted – ‘she’ was clearly C.J. “It’s getting away from her a little bit,” Josh said as Kenny stood next to him, Joey across from him. He saw Kenny’s hands moving in his periphery. Joey nodded, and her hands flew in response. Kenny interpreted, “They’re making her the story.” “Yeah,” Josh agreed, straightening up from where he was slumped against the doorway. “Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something.” He didn’t need to hear Kenny give a response for Joey. He knew what it meant when she nodded, raised her eyebrows, and waved a fist with an outstretched pinkie and thumb. He explained, “The Justice Department wants another thirty million to fund its suit against the tobacco companies, and we want them to have it. The Appropriations Subcommittee on Justice, State, and Commerce handles that money, and they won’t bring it to a vote.” She fingerspelled K-A-L-M-B-A-C-H. “Is the chairman?” “Yeah. Now, I wanted to turn up the heat and issue a release.” “Incendiary?” “Yeah. It calls them ‘well-fed members lining their campaign war chests and being complicit in hundreds of thousands of negligent homicide.’” Joey scoffed and slid her hands together, “Nice.” Josh continued, “We didn’t send the release out yesterday because of the M.S. announcement and Missus Landingham. But in a day or two, I wanna leak it. What do you think?” “Yeah, that’s really stupid,” Joey signed, and Kenny spoke. “Why?” Josh asked, a burst of confusion rippling through him. “Because offense makes people play defense.” “I’m raising the profile to bring public opinion down on him. Play defense with that.”

I think when writing a major character who uses sign language, you really do need some understanding of ASL and Deaf culture to write a signing Deaf character. The positioning of the interpreter and the Deaf person, the fact that the POV character knows a little bit of ASL, so they understand some of the signs being used like the fingerspelling, describing the character's facial expression and body language as they sign (and having it make sense with the grammar/tone the character is trying to convey), and then providing a translation/interpretation in English.

Anyway, I hope that answers your question?

#writing reference #writing #deaf character #sign language #american sign language #yes this is from my west wing fic i love u joey lucas/marlee matlin for existing

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creative-caramel-coffee · 1 year ago

Text

The Bear ch 5

Pairings: Wanda x R

Word count: 3.9K

Summary: You join your uncle tony in the avengers, it wasn’t your original plan but you never planned for your powers either so here you are. Now your at the avengers tower and falling for the girl of your dreams. With a haunting past and interesting abilities can you navigate your way through the challenges of being a hero? After a mission gone wrong and a cruel twist of fate the team starts digging for answers. Can tony keep them from finding out the truth?

TW: none really, canon typical violence (I guess?)

A/n Sorry this took so long im already working on chapters 6 and 7

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7

You stood with Nat and Wanda at the front of the meeting room. Eyes downcast you fidgeted with your fingers only stopping when nat took your hand to hold it in order to stop you. Nat begun to explain squeezing your hand as your eyes were trained on your shoes. Wanda and nat carefully studied the face around the table. Taking note of the different reactions for later.

Steve just looked confused. Clint looked happy that he had someone else to sign with. Tony looked proud. Sam looked unbothered. Bruce looked excited about something new to study. Thor looked busy with his pop tarts. Peter smiled at you softly which you didn’t see. He was kind and understanding. Bucky looked sympathetic knowing how it felt to not be able to talk due to his own past with hydra torture. Wanda looked protective and nat just looked slightly exhausted.

After she finished explaining there was a brief silence in which peter shot you a thumbs up which you responded with the same thing still not wanting to talk.

“So is she nonverbal right now?” Steve asked not fully understanding and you nodded. “So how does she communicate then?” He asked and you signed a quick joke about Steve being old and confused to Clint who laughed. “Oh she does the hand thing too?” Steve said having seen Natasha and Clint signing before in the past.

“Yes the ‘hand thing’” Nat said “or sign language is what she uses when she doesn’t want to talk”

“So she doesn’t want to or cant talk?” Steve said.

“Depends.” Nat shrugged.

There were a few more questions mainly from Steve and some from Bruce as he wanted to make sure he had all the medical or mental accomodations he could have there for you if you needed them. Peter was eager to learn sign language now and had already started to bother tony into getting him a tutor. Bucky was now explaining it again to Steve who was still confused and tony and Bruce were now discussing alternate methods for coms now it was more than just Clint that needed a new method. While the team was engaged in their own little conversations about you and the new topic, Wanda noticed you starting to struggle under all the attention. It wasn’t bad but you simply hadn’t expected such a kind reaction and acceptance to come so easily.

When she saw tears gathering in your eyes she assumed the worst. Unable to know how grateful you were. Gently she took your hand and motioned for nat to follow as she broke off her ASL conversation with Clint. Carefully Wanda led you from the room with nat in tow. The two women led you back to the room and Wanda grabbed you sketchbook while you sat on the bed. They knew what you needed and you drew while snuggled in Wanda’s arms. Wanda lifted your chin gently to look at her.

“Are you ok my love? Was that too much?” She asked concerned at the tears still glossing your eyes. Without responding you held up the drawing. It was the team in the meeting room. But instead of seeing anything bad Wanda saw the looked of love on the faces you had drawn.

“Never expected them to be so kind about it.” You whispered and Wanda pulled you into her.

“Always my love. Always. We are your family and we love you.” She kissed the top of your head as she felt your small tears dot her sleeves.

the rest of the day you stayed in your room with Wanda. nat went to go brainstorm with tony how to tell the team about your past.

You were sat on your bed cuddling with Wanda and watching some sit com, but you weren’t really paying much attention. You were curling Wanda’s red hair around your finger and fiddling with the strands, she didn’t mind she quite liked it really. You were laid against Wanda side with your head resting on her chest.

“I love you Wanda.” You said. After a moment you realised what you said. “Shit sorry that just kinda slipped out. I get its a bit early and I-“ you started rambling but Wanda quietened you with a chaste kiss to the lips. She placed a hand on the back of your head and pulled the rest of your body so you were now laid on top of her looking into her eyes with your chin resting in her middle chest.

“I love you too Y/n/n” she said and placed another kiss on your nose which responded with a twitch that was like a bunny. Wanda grinned at the cuteness and proceeded to pepper your face with small kisses. You squealed and buried your face in her neck feeling her chest vibrate with her laughter. Playfully you lightly slapped her arm which one encouraged her laughter you were bright red now when Wanda peeled you away from her neck and cooed at the redness in your cheeks.

“I love you pumpkin.” She said and you squealed when she flipped you over and began tickling your sides.

“I y-yield. I-I yield.” You said through a fit of laughter. Wanda pulled you in and kissed your forehead.

Once more you found yourself in the crook of her arm after you formed a truce and you were dozing lightly in her arms when there was a knock on the door. Wanda frowned as she saw you rub your eyes with your fist.

“Come in.” You said. The door opened and Nat walked in. “Hi Natty.” You smiled and Nat greeted you and Wanda.

“So i spoke to tony.” She said and you groaned.

“Nothing good ever follows the words ‘I spoke to tony’” you whined and Wanda giggled. Nat rolled her eyes.

“Well he wants you to stay in the compound or with someone at all times. He’s worried now hydra knows your alive they’ll attack and try to get you back.” Wanda felt you stiffen against her when Nat said hydra and she hugged you tighter to ground you.

“T-thank you Nat.” You said neither of them missed your nervous stutter. Nat placed a soothing hand on your thigh and used her thumb to rub up and down to calm you.

“It’ll be ok Y/n/n Wanda or I will be with you at all times. Your safe here.” Nat said and you gave them a weak watery smile. “Alright enough sadness who wants to train with me?” Nat asked standing.

“I could use some training.” You said.

“Me too.” Wanda echoed the sentiment.

“Alright I’ll meet you both down there in fifteen.” Nat said smiling and closing the door behind her as she left.

“Are you sure your up for training?” Wanda asked.

“I need to use my powers it’s been a while and I hate not using them regularly especially the shifting. It’s comforting to be able to hide in small places as small animals or feel safe being a bigger thing like a bear.” You admitted and Wanda nodded.

“You know you can take whatever form you want around me or the team we don’t mind.” She said.

“Really?” You asked perking up.

“Of course. Is that why you haven’t been using your powers more? You though we wouldn’t accept you?” Wanda asked mildly concerned.

“A little yeah. Its also force of habit. You know, trying not to draw attention to yourself and all that. Lately I’ve been teleporting more than shifting.”

“Im curious can you teleport while shifted?” Wanda asked.

“Yeah but it takes a lot of concentration to stay as an animal when i teleport. I often end up human again mid jump.”

“We can work on that.” Wanda said. “Right we should probably get up and dressed.”

After changing into active gear you stood by Wanda.

“Hey wands wanna try something?” You grinned.

“Oh god I’m scared. What?” She asked eyeing you.

“Take my hand and find out.” You said extending an arm palm up.

“You better not kill me.” She said and once her hand was in yours you grinned and teleported you both down to the training room surprising Nat.

Wanda stumbled and you held her upright.

“That was cool and all but next time a little warning would be nice.” Wanda said and you shrugged.

“Wheres the fun in that.”

“Nice to see you two made it. Neat trick Y/n/n I imagine you can play some pretty great pranks with that.” Nat smiled and you grinned.

“Could. Have. Same thing.” You said and winked at Wanda.

“Right lets start. First I wanna spar with Y/n to see where your at before we get into some drills.” Nat said stepping into the ring. Wanda stretched and sat on the bench to watch she was also curious of how well you could fight especially against Nat.

“Y/n before we start i want to say this isn’t like hydra training. You can tap out at any time if somethings triggering or too much for you. No maiming or grievous injuries. I’ve seen you fight in Tony’s tapes of your earlier missions.”

“He showed you those?” You asked.

“He did.” Nat nodded.

Wanda stayed silent she also knew about your time doing missions with Tony pre avengers and you had shared your history with her and Nat plus Tony already knew.

After your fight with nat you had impressed both her and Wanda with you. Abilities. You were an avid fighter with good technique and pose. You didn’t rely on your powers to fight but when you used them they bled seamlessly into your tactics.

After a hour of so of training the three of you were hot and sweaty and exhausted. You had been using your powers with Wanda, mainly teleporting which could be draining if used too much. As the three of you left the gym and got in the elevator yo steadied yourself against the wall. Nat shot you a worried look.

“You ok there L/n?” She asked.

“Peachy.” You responded.

“And how are you really?” She asked again.

“Fine just a bit dizzy, sometimes if i use my powers too much this happens. But I’m fine.” You waved off her concern and once the three of you reached you shared floor Wanda steadied you and walked you back to your room.

After a quick shower to get rid of the sweat you and Wanda went back down to the kitchen where you ran into nat who was going through the cupboards like a raccoon.

“Dammit. Friday add peanut butter to the shopping list.” She said sighing and running a hand through her hair.

“I can make you something if you want?” Wanda said and nat spun around looking sheepish.

“Thanks wands.” She said.

“You and Y/n/n go sit at the counter and I’ll whip something up.” Nat and you did as you were told taking seats next to each-other at the bar on the island kitchen counter.

“So Y/n earlier you said you like being shifted and you haven’t had much chance to.” Wanda said as she pulled out some pans. You squirmed in your seat glancing at nat and relaxing as she looked unbothered.

“Yeah.” You said a bit flatly.

“If you want its just us. And I’ll tell you a secret Natty’s a big softy for animals.” She said and nat glared at her with no real heat behind it.

“Really now?” You asked and nat turned to glare at you. A second later you turned into a small black and white ferret and crawled into her lap taking her by surprise. Nat looked down at you in shock before relaxing and cautiously lifting a hand to scratch behind your little ears. You made a happy squeaking noise and nuzzled into her stomach and nat couldn’t hold back her grin. Wanda watched amused and excited to cuddle with you later. Turning back to her cooking nat began to play with your little paws as you curled up and began to doze in her lap. She cooed at how cute you were and tony walked into the kitchen.

“Um have you guys seen Y/n Friday said she was here?” He said looking around and Wanda wordlessly pointed to Nat’s lap. Tony broke out into a grin.

“I love when she does that.” He said and went over to scratch by your ears as you stayed half asleep. You let out a tiny yawn and nat tried hard not to squeal at how cute you were being. Tony chuckled at Nat’s expression and patted your head softly.

“Just tell her for me that me and the team have to go on a mission for a few days. We leave tomorrow. You, her and Wanda are staying here.” Tony said and nat nodded watching him retreat back to his lab.

“She really is adorable like that.” Wanda said and you stretched yawning again. You lifted your paws and placed them on Nat’s chest so you were almost upright and squeaked.

“What do you want y/n/n?” Nat asked and Wanda chuckled.

“I think she wants you to pick her up.” Wanda said before turning and flipping the pancakes.

nat carefully placed each hand under your front legs and lifted you at arms length from her. You cocked you head and she wiggled you side to side chuckling at how your limp body wiggled like it had no bones. After a second your tiny nose twitched and you let out a small sneeze. Wanda cooed and you squirmed and crawled up Nat’s arm and curled around her shoulders and began to doze again. When Wanda finished the pancakes you jumped back to your seat and shifted back.

“You make a very cute ferret like that.” Nat said and you smiled at her.

“Its fun and relaxing.” You said.

“Good you should do it more often I’m sure Nat and I would love to have cuddles with more soft tint creatures.” Wanda said and you blushed slightly and ducked your head to keep eating.

Nat chuckled and the three of you ate together. When you were done Wanda used her magic to clean the kitchen and nat posed the idea of watching a movie together. You hopped up.

“Race you guys.” You said before seamlessly shifting into a wolf cub and bounding around the corner and out of the kitchen. Wanda chuckled.

“That was too cute.” She said and followed you with nat trailing behind. When she entered the lounge she couldn’t see you until her eyes fell on a small prickly ball curled up on a pillow.

“Is that what I think it is?” Nat asked.

“Yep. Y/n/ns a hedgehog.” Wanda laughed. And Nat pouted.

“I wanted something fury.” She said and you squeaked and shifted into a ferret again knowing it was Nat’s favourite based on her reaction earlier. You ran up and down the length of the couch before settling on the pillow. Nat and Wanda came and sat next to you and you got up and crawled over into Wanda’s lap chittering and walking in circles on her thighs before settling into a small puddle.

Wanda ran a hand through your soft fur as nat scrolled through Netflix to find something to watch. You started to doze again and Wanda chuckled.

“She sure does sleep a lot when she’s a ferret.” Wanda said.

“Yeah but its cute though so i’ll allow it.” Nat said and Wanda laughed again.

After picking something and settling down the three of you curled up together and you moved between the two of them over the course of the movie so they could both have turns to pat you. You knew it was therapeutic for them both as much as it was calming to have their hands running through your fur. When the movie finished Wanda picked you up carefully as you were sleeping and told nat she was going to go to be bed so you could take a nap while she read. Nat nodded and began looking for something else to watch. After Wanda left she got into bed and set you down on her chest as she picked up her book and started to read.

It had been maybe half an hour when she began to feel you twitch on her chest. Looking down she felt your breathing speed up as you began panting against her. She carefully ran a hand through your fur and you seemed to still before relaxing. After a moment you settled and sent back to a calm sleep.

Another fifteen minutes later you woke up a and Wanda smiled down at you. You crawled off her and shifted before burning your face in her arm and wrapping your arms around her. She scratched your head and smiled.

“Hey sleepy head how was you nap.” She asked and you yawned making her chuckle. “That good huh?” She grinned and you nodded against her arm.

“Well if you’d like to join me i was about to start making dinner soon my love.” She said and you nodded again. After she helped you off the bed you sleepily followed her to the kitchen where nat was sat drinking hot chocolate. Sensing something off with her Wanda started to cook and you shifted and crawled into her lap. Nat stroked your fur and looked at you with misty eyes and soon you were breathing was slow and rhythmic as you slept again. Nat chuckled.

“Your right wands i think being a ferret makes the little thing tired.” She said and Wanda laughed.

“Yeah she could use the sleep. I think it calms her down to be small and on top of someone it makes her feel safe and protected helps her sleep.” Wanda explained and nat smiled.

“Im glad she feels safe around us.” Nat said Wanda hummed an agreement.

“She loves you very much nat. You make her feel safe.” Wanda said and nat nodded. you let out a small squeaked of agreement in your sleepy state that made nat chuckle and scratch behind your tiny ears.

The next morning you woke and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee. you were in a bad mood. you hadn’t slept much and everything was either to bright or too loud. the sound of the coffee machine made you dig your nails into your palms to ground yourself. the lights seemed to bright over head and you desperately wanted to go back to bed but you knew it wouldn’t do anything. you couldn’t sleep. nightmares plagued every minute you weren’t awake and the only thing that seemed to stop them was being with either Nat or Wanda but you didn’t want to both them when you woke around three to a cold sweat and fast breathing. you only really slept for about two hours and now it was half past four and you needed some coffee.

when it finally was done you drank it quickly needing the kick to wake up. after a small breakfast of cereal it was now fifteen past five and nat wandered into the kitchen looking surprised. she was dressed in active wear obviously heading to the gym.

“Y/n? what are you doing awake?” she asked and began making her workout shake. you grunted and waved a hand dismissively already feeling annoyed without any real reason to be. Nat frowned and went to say something but you stood and left the kitchen. electing not to follow you nat headed off to the gym.

You needed some time alone. desperately. your social battery could only withstand so much and you had been living with the team for almost a week now. Your room seemed to easy, Wanda or Nat would come find you later and coax you out but that wasn’t what you needed right now. You had and idea and grabbed a hoodie from the drawer in your room. throwing it on and shoving your sketchbook and pencils plus some snacks and your phone in the black backpack you had by your desk you slipped down the hall almost silently. Once in the lift you asked Friday your burning question.

“Friday?”

“yes Ms L/n”

“is the treehouse still around?” you asked praying it would be.

“Tony Stark and Ms Y/n L/n’s tree house is still intact. Mr Stark his made improvements over the last few months in anticipation of your return.” Friday said and you grinned. Tony and you had built the tree house deep in the woods near the compound a long time ago and it had since become your safe haven. A place you could hide if you needed some space to yourself.

“what kind of improvements Fri?” you asked.

“Mr Stark has installed Myself into the house as well as a new Tv, Wifi, more snacks, updated lighting and a microwave.”

“um Fri?”

“yes Ms L/n?”

“can you hide my location from Wanda and nat please?” you asked, you wanted to keep this space a secret for as long as possible.

“yes Ms L/n however i cannot hide your location from Mr Stark.”

“thats ok Fri just Wanda and nat are fine for now.”

“ok Ms L/n”

you walked through the foyer and out the back door. Sure Tony had said not to leave without an escort because of HYDRA but this was different he would understand and the treehouse had almost as much if not more security measures as the compound, it was built by tony after all.

after the long walk you climbed the ladder up into the mossy tree. It was old and beautiful with the branches hiding the treehouse nicely. it was large to say the least as the tree was huge. tucked deep into the woods off the beaten path if you weren’t looking for it you would not find it by chance. climbing up into it you typed in a small code and pushed open the trap door and crawled into the space. the lights flickered on and it had defiantly been upgraded. it was a single room with a door to a small bathroom on one side. how tony had managed to get plumbing this far into the woods you didn’t know but you thanked him none the less. the room had a beanbag chair in the corner with a blanket and a pillow. on one wall was a flatscreen Tv. there was a counter that turned into a desk with three shelves above it for storage. a microwave was set into the wall and a cupboard was above it that supposedly held the snacks. the lights in the roof could be dimmed and the colour changed. large glass windows lines the walls looking through the branches into the surrounding woods. large curtains could be drawn and there was a small deck you could sit on with just enough room for about three people to sit on with their legs hanging off the edge.

throwing your backpack on the desk you started by investigating the snacks. tony had bought all your favourites and you mentally thanked him. pulling out some chocolate you dragged your backpack over to the beanbag and clicked on the TV. you put on your comfort show and threw the fluffy blanket over yourself and pulled out your sketchbook and pencils. this was what you needed. exactly what you needed. some off-grid time alone to recharge. A few hours passed and you had watched the sunrise through the windows.

MASTERLIST

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signed-sapphire · 2 months ago

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Hey Bo!

Can I ask what sign language Dario uses again? I think you’ve mentioned before that he’s mute in your Wish!AU. Is it Russian or German? I can’t remember unfortunately, sorry 😅

(Also, is there a reference you use when drawing characters who use sign language? Sorry if this sounds dumb.)

Hi Flicker! No problem, I don’t think I clarified this earlier— this doesn’t sound dumb at all!

I found this ask in my drafts hidden in the dump but here is what I wrote before:

So. I didn’t exactly put too much thought behind Dario’s sign. He is mute (as is Dopey), and I originally drew him using BSL or ASL. But this ask got me thinking, and I explored a few different sign language options and narrowed them down to these two:

1. There’s obviously ASL. Disney is an American brand, so it would make sense that their character would use American Sign. (Wait. In other countries, do they just reanimate everything?)

2. There’s also SSL, as Rosas is a Spanish country.

I really wasn’t sure what to draw Dario using, but as this is a visual comic over Tumblr. But I think I’m going with American Sign.

Now, however, as I’m now (like five months late 😭) in Sign-101, I’ll probably be using ASL as that’s what I’m learning. I would love to do SSL if possible, but since I'm not familiar with the language, I won't be drawing SSL most of the time. I don't want to make an error as they're very easy to do in sign.

As for references, it’s mainly just what I’m learning from my professors. ASL Gloss is the grammar structure used for word arrangement in sign, but I want to figure out a way to incorporate gifs in my comics if I ever need Dario to fingerspell anything. He’d probably give sign names to his friends (and the king and queen probably have one, Asha too) so I might figure that out. But I am not deaf, and only deaf people should give out sign names, so I’ll have to do some more research.

For words I don’t know it’s mainly Google 😅 I try to cross-reference multiple sources to make sure what I’m drawing is generally correct

So sorry for the late response!

#the fallen star au #tfs lore #<- maybe?#tfs asks #if that’s even a tag #disney wish #sapphire asks

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forabeatofadrum · 2 years ago

Text

So Much Better

Summary: Kurt is very excited to make his Broadway debut in Deaf West’s production of Legally Blonde. He plays the Voice of Emmett and he has to work with Blaine, a Deaf actor who’s been part of the show since the very beginning. They grow closer through the process.

Notes: This is my @klainesecretsanta2022 gift to Terra (@klainedreams34)! The original prompt was: Kurt and Blaine are both making their Broadway debut in the same production, however, one of them is deaf. If you’d like a reference, you can look up deaf west spring awakening on YouTube! I am a huge fan of Deaf West’s Spring Awakening, so I immediately selected that prompt.

(Also, while we’re at it, please read Terra’s fic Wild Child! I am obsessed with it.)

For this fic, all the spoken language is “written like this, between quotation marks”, including simcom or when someone speaks through an interpreter. All the written language is written like this in italics. All the signed language is WRITTEN LIKE THIS, IN ALL CAPS. I chose all caps for the ASL since ASL gloss is written in all caps. That being said, I wrote all the ASL in English, so I did not follow the ASL and glossing rules.

Enjoy!

Read the fic on S&C | Read the fic on AO3 | Or read the fic here under the cut:

“I am here because I want to be challenged.”

Everyone claps politely and Rachel sits down with a satisfied grin on her face. She’s basking in the praise and Kurt envies her confidence. It’s almost his time to introduce himself and he’s incredibly nervous.

This is his first role on Broadway.

This is a show that tries to break boundaries.

This is a show he wants to be proud of.

Yet, he can’t help but be anxious. What if he is terribly miscast? After all, if you had told Kurt a year ago that he’d play the Voice of Emmett in Deaf West’s production of Legally Blonde, he wouldn’t have believed you.

Kurt, of all people, as the straight romantic male lead?

Well, of course, that is partially true. He’s technically voicing the role. A Deaf actor will embody Emmett, but they will play the role together and Kurt’s high-pitched gay voice will be heard by the hearing audience.

When it’s finally time for Kurt to speak, he gets up. All eyes are on him for now.

“Uh, hello, my name is Kurt Hummel,” he says and signs. He can’t sign at all, but he did teach himself how to introduce himself in ASL. He looked up some things, since it’s important. Luckily the interpreter takes over for the rest. “I will be playing the Voice of Emmett and I am here because I want to challenge others. Thanks.”

He sits down again and the round continues.

When it’s time for Blaine Anderson to do his talk, Kurt sits up.

“Hello, my name is Blaine Anderson,” the interpreter speaks for Blaine. Blaine is signing and it’s captivating. “I play the role of Emmett and I am very happy to be here. I am here because I want to show the audience how Deafness can enhance an existing story. Thank you.”

Kurt and the others wave their hands as applause. When Blaine sits he looks at Kurt and smiles. Kurt nods back. He knows that the two of them will be playing the role together, so they’ll be seeing each other a lot.

He noticed Blaine from the beginning. This is the first time that the entire cast is officially meeting, but the moment Blaine stepped into the room, Kurt saw him. Kurt’s done his research on Deaf West Legally Blonde so he knew that he’s going to be sharing the role with Blaine. Still, seeing him in real life is different.

The roll call finishes and the group disbands for a small break. Most of the cast is familiar with each other. Deaf West Legally Blonde had a run in Los Angeles before it transferred to Broadway, but some people, including Kurt, have joined the cast. Rachel playing Elle Woods was a huge deal, since she’s the lead. So far the new hearing cast members and the new Deaf cast members hang out separately, since there is a language barrier. Only April Rhodes, who plays Paulette, is a hearing member who can sign.

But Rachel was right: they’re also here to get challenged, so Kurt steps towards Blaine who is rapidly signing to Quinn Fabray, the Deaf actress who plays Brooke.

“Hi,” Kurt says. Quinn and Blaine share a look, and Blaine smiles.

HI, he signs back. Kurt recognises that one. K-U-R-T, RIGHT?

Kurt nods.

Blaine quickly signs something to Quinn, who nods and walks off to Santana, the hearing actress who plays Brooke with Quinn.

YOU SIGN? Blaine asks.

NO, Kurt shakes his head. He takes his phone out of his pocket and points towards it. Blaine nods. They can also ask one of the interpreters to help, but this works as well.

Kurt hands his phone to Blaine so that Blaine put in his number. He quickly sends a text.

KH: Hello!

The screen of Blaine’s phone lights up.

BA: Hello, it works!

I think this might be the easiest right now

KH: Yeah sorry I don’t know how to sign

BA: That’s fine. You’ll learn

I can teach you

Although you won’t be fluent. It takes years

KH: I looked up some signs but it is difficult

BA: It’s fine

So, how did you become part of the show?

Kurt knows that Blaine Anderson has been part of this show since the workshopping days. Kurt only joined for this production and this spot was opened up because the actor who did the role in Los Angeles joined another Broadway show.

KH: I just auditioned. I love the original and I saw the casting call and I took a chance.

Kurt still thinks it’s a miracle that he got the role. Rachel as Elle was a given in Kurt’s mind, but Kurt still can’t believe this is real.

BA: I think you’re great

That message surprises Kurt.

KH: Oh?

BA: Yeah I’ve looked you up

Kurt has some Off-Broadway and regional credits. They’re not big roles like this, but he’s proud of his work, so he smiles when he sees that message.

KH: I also looked up your stuff with Deaf West

Kurt wants to write some more, but the small break is over. Everyone’s called back. Blaine sends him one quick final message.

BA: We’ll talk more, yeah?

Kurt sees that Blaine’s looking at him so he gives him a thumbs up.

Rehearsal is heavy, especially for the newer cast members. Kurt plays a Voice, so he doesn’t have to sign in the show. As a result he spends most of the rehearsal with the other Voices. He also has music rehearsal, which is something the Deaf cast isn’t part of, expect for when they’re also rehearing the signing. There are some music rehearsals where everyone signs instead of sings, in order to get the timing right. This show is all about working together. He goes through staging, tech and blocking with the entire company. All the Voices are constantly next to the actors who embody the roles.

In the first week he hasn’t really gotten the time to sit down with Blaine to talk about Emmett. Everyone’s just busy getting the basics together, although he and Blaine have texted a little bit over the week. They know they will be seen a lot together, since they play the same role.

This production is truly something he’s never done before. He’s never had to share a role like this. Sure, Kurt’s been an understudy for one of his Off-Broadway roles, so he technically shared that role with someone else and that led to cooperation, but they weren’t on stage simultaneously.

When Kurt and Blaine finally have time to sit down with an interpreter, they go over the script together to go through every line Emmett has. They’re in their dressing room and they flip through the pages. They both approach the role in a different way. They’re going through their big number, Chip On My Shoulder, which is the song where Emmett and Elle really grow together.

“Hello Kitty…” Kurt reads out loud with a smile, “I always loved how Christian Borle said it in the MTV proshot.”

Blaine has a questioning look on his face.

“Oh, uh, he said it in a really deadpan voice and he draws out the words,” Kurt explains, “And he put a pause between Hello and Kitty for humorous effect.”

Blaine squints his eyes slightly. Right, of course. How do you explain sound and speech to someone who’s never heard it?

“Can you do that?” Blaine asks.

Kurt watches Blaine’s signs as he listens to the interpreter. He’s already realised that it makes it easier to recognise the signs.

YES, Kurt signs back, I THINK.

And Kurt in turn signs when he’s able to in order to practise.

“In my opinion, Chip On My Shoulder is probably one of the most important moments in the show,” Blaine continues, “Maybe I am biased, since I play Emmett, but I think it is more monumental than So Much Better.”

“Well, yes, we get to hear Emmett’s point of view,” Kurt agrees, “His life. His motivation. We already know about Elle. This is the moment she starts to share the spotlight.”

Blaine nods eagerly.

“Exactly!”

“What do you think Emmett’s main motivations are?” Kurt asks. After all, they’re here to do a deep dive on their character. “For helping, Elle, I mean. I always thought it was a mix of pity and kindness. He’s a kind guy, so when he feels bad for someone, he wants to help.”

“Oh, I have an idea.”

TELL ME, Kurt signs.

“For starters, in our production, Emmett is Deaf,” Blaine points towards himself and he winks, which makes Kurt laugh, “I think that his initial annoyance with Elle only gets exacerbated because of this. Elle is this very privileged hearing rich girl who walks in thinking she can just own the place, whereas he had to work very hard to even get into Harvard. And I know we make Harvard a more Deaf friendly school, since Emmett isn’t the only Deaf or hard of hearing person in this university, but it is still harder for them.”

“Look, they laughed at me, like they're laughing at you/We can't win if we don't follow through,” Kurt sings.

Blaine nods.

“Yes, people don’t always take us seriously, so that line stood out in particular.”

“Huh,” Kurt says. He’s been a fan of Legally Blonde the musical ever since he watched the proshot on MTV. He’s known the lyrics by heart, even before he auditioned. Yet, he’d never thought of it like that.

“Plus,” Blaine continues, “He’s also different from other Deaf characters in our show since he’s from a poorer background. That is why he also stands out in the group of Deaf Harvard students like Vivienne and the Deaf Delta Nu ladies.”

YOU’RE RIGHT, Kurt signs.

I KNOW, Blaine signs with a smile.

“So it’s not out of pity or kindness, but out of recognition?” Kurt says and Blaine nods.

“Well, also out of recognition,” Blaine clarifies, “I agree with you that Emmett is too good for this world so he’d help Elle even if he didn’t have that recognition.”

“Like in the original.”

Blaine nods again.

“You said on the very first day that you were excited to show a Deaf perspective and how it can enhance the show.”

Blaine’s eyes widen in surprise.

“You remember that!”

“Of course I did,” Kurt says with an ‘isn’t it obvious’ tone.

“Yeah, well, it isn’t much,” Blaine shrugs, “But it’s something and even though it’s small, I think it already adds a lot. Kind of like how they added the ban on signing in class in Spring Awakening. Did you see that show?”

Kurt nods. It was one of the best Broadway experiences ever and it’s one of the reasons he auditioned for this show, despite his own reservations and doubt.

“It’s great that, like in Spring Awakening, the original script isn’t changed. It just adds new meaning to the existing text,” Kurt says.

YES! Blaine signs excitedly. His movements become more eccentric and the signs take up more place when he’s really excited and Kurt loves it. He loves to learn about communication in a new way.

The two of them share a smile. Glad to hear they’re on the same page. He’s already overheard Kitty, another new cast member and who plays the Voice of Vivienne, talk about how it’s quite difficult to connect to Mercedes.

Kurt was afraid that he and Blaine also wouldn’t click, since Blaine has shared this role with another person, but it’s going well.

Kurt gets pulled out of his thoughts when Blaine taps the table.

“Hm?” Kurt gives him a questioning look.

“And what about you?” Blaine asks.

WHAT? Kurt asks back.

“You said that you wanted to challenge others.”

“Oh, right,” Kurt says.

Now, Blaine has a questioning look on his face.

“It doesn’t really have anything to do with the text,” Kurt motions towards the script, “I don’t think it’s super relevant for how we want to characterise Emmett.”

Or at least Kurt hadn’t thought about it like that.

He tries to talk around it, since he hasn’t shared his doubts about his casting with anyone, not even Rachel. Rachel probably wouldn’t get it. She’s too caught up in her own excitement and Kurt’s a bit jealous of it.

He wants to be exuberant as well, but he just worries about what the audience will think.

“Okay. I still want to know,” Blaine says when he realises that Kurt isn’t saying it outright, “Out of interest. You must’ve had a reason for it.”

Kurt sighs. Well, if they are going to work together then they will definitely get to know each other better. No matter what, Blaine will find out at one point down the line. Maybe it’s best to tell him so early in the process.

“I want to challenge the audience… with my voice,” he answers.

Blaine frowns. He doesn’t get it.

“When I auditioned for this role, I took it with a grain of salt. I was certain Finn would get the role of Voice of Emmett, but Finn encouraged me to try it anyway.”

“Wait, sorry, Finn who voices Kyle?”

Kurt nods.

“Yup, he’s my brother.”

Blaine looks impressed but then he realises he’s interrupted Kurt and he motions towards him to proceed.

“When I got the callback, I thought they were joking. But they weren’t. They wanted me as Emmett, and after a couple of audition rounds… here I am!”

“Here you are,” Blaine agrees.

“And I couldn’t imagine them casting me, a gay guy, to be the male romantic lead in Legally Blonde. So I am afraid that I am miscast and that the audience will hate it.”

“Wait, wait,” Blaine looks confused, “Gay guys play straight roles all the time and vice versa. If you’re a good actor, and I know you are, then it shouldn’t be a problem. I am gay too, and I’m not too worried.”

Kurt’s momentarily thrown off by Blaine saying he’s gay that he’s lost for words.

Blaine is gay too?

Two gay guys are playing Emmett?

Blaine tilts his head when Kurt remains silent and Kurt realises he’s waiting for Kurt to say more. Kurt tries not to blush and he pushes the gay revelation away for now. There is still a major difference between the two of them.

“Yes, but it’s my gay voice,” Kurt says, “My high-pitched gay voice. When I pick up the phone, a lot of people think it’s my mom. Acting will be fine, especially since you’re doing all the blocking and the big romantic scenes are between you and Rachel, but everyone will hear my voice and realise that something feels wrong.”

“Correction. Not everyone will hear your voice,” Blaine quickly points out.

“Right. Of course.”

“But I guess I don’t really understand,” Blaine looks apologetic, “I didn’t know there was a thing like a gay voice.”

“There is,” Kurt affirms, “Of course not every gay man sounds like me, but my tone and the way I speak might be seen as gay. I used to get bullied for it at school. Kids would just mock me by mimicking my voice when I walked past them.”

Blaine nods.

“And I love my gay voice. I always have,” Kurt quickly adds. That’s very important. Kurt loves being gay and he’s always been unabashedly himself. “But it has closed doors for me, especially in the entertainment world, so I am not sure if the audience will appreciate it.”

“But you want to make them appreciate it,” Blaine points out, “You want to challenge people.”

Kurt nods.

He really does. He wants to show the audience that he can play this role of Voice of Emmett. He is confident that he can do it, but it doesn’t take away the fear that others won’t see it. A miscast can doom an entire show and Kurt has a big role.

Blaine raises his hands and he’s about to say something when someone knocks on the door. Kurt and the interpreter instinctively look towards the door. Blaine sees it and he understands what is going on when Kurt gets up to open the door.

“Hey Kurt,” Santana says and then her eyes widen when she looks over his shoulder.

“What?”

SORRY, Santana signs to Blaine. Then she nods towards the interpreter to indicate that she needs help. “I didn’t know you were here as well. I wouldn’t have knocked if I knew.”

IT’S FINE, Blaine signs back. He gets up as well. I WILL GO.

WAIT, Kurt signs.

Blaine shakes his head.

“We can continue later,” he shrugs and he and the interpreter leave Kurt and Santana alone.

Santana watches them go.

“You two seem to be getting along,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“Good. It’s an adjustment for newer people,” Santana says. She’s played the Voice of Brooke since the beginning and she has a strong bond with Quinn.

“Is there something you needed?” Kurt asks.

In the end, Santana only needed his opinion on her outfit. He appreciates that he’s being seen as the fashion guru in the cast, but he wishes he had stayed with Blaine just a bit longer.

And just like that, the first week of rehearsal is over. It was one of the busiest weeks of Kurt’s life. He knows it isn’t going to be less busy, but he’s gotten used to his new routine. He, Finn and Rachel travel to the theatre together. They have lunch in the city together with some others. Then it’s more rehearsal and when he gets home he goes over all the new signs that he’s learnt.

But for some reason he can’t get the hang of the TRUE BIZ sign. It doesn’t help that this is a sign with no English translation. Kurt’s embarrassed to say that he didn’t know that ASL and English aren’t analogous. ASL isn’t “English with your hands”, but it has its own words, structure and grammar. Saying that it is English also feels wrong, because there are differences between the sign languages in other English speaking countries.

Basically, Kurt’s struggling.

He’d love to ask Rachel for an opinion, but she isn’t home. She is out with Finn. Besides, maybe it is better to ask an expert.

Kurt knows who to ask. He grabs his phone to text Blaine.

KH: Hey can I ask you a question about signs?

BA: Yes sure

KH: How do you use true biz again? I know how to sign it, just not how to use it

BA: You can use it as a synonym for actually, definitely, totally

As in

true biz I am playing Emmett

so like, I am totally playing Emmett

Kurt quickly films a video of himself signing it and he sends it to Blaine. Blaine sends some thumbs up emojis back and Kurt smiles.

“Broadway!” someone yells and the interpreter signs it as well. As a result, the crowd goes mad. It’s their first day in the theatre! In that first week they were stuck in a rehearsal space with tape on the floor, but now the set’s been built and it’s time to move to the stage.

People are smiling and crying and filming. It’s one big bundle of joy.

COME ON! Blaine signs before grabbing Kurt by the shoulders and leading him towards the stage door.

WE ARE HERE, Kurt signs back and Blaine nods.

Together they walk in. It’s an amazing feeling and both can’t stop grinning. After exploring the theatre a bit more, it’s time to find their dressing room. They share a big dressing room with Finn and Dustin Goolsby, who play Kyle, Will Schuester who plays Professor Callahan and Sebastian Smythe who plays Warner.

Finn and Dustin are already inside when Kurt and Blaine get there and Finn gives them both a thumbs up.

It’s as if everything’s slowly falling into place. They’re in their still bare dressing room. They are in the theatre! The sets are finished. The costumes are basically done. It’s all going uphill from here, Kurt’s certain of it.

Blaine and Dustin immediately start signing to each other and Kurt and Finn also talk about taking it all in. Will and Sebastian also arrive and they all bask in the glory of Broadway.

They’re all called to the stage for more formal information and Kurt and Blaine go together. They’re still grinning.

I , Blaine signs and then he adds another sign that Kurt doesn’t know, so Kurt copies it with a questioning look.

D-R-E-A-M, Blaine fingerspells, DREAM.

It takes a couple of times for Kurt to get it, since he can fingerspell well, but reading it is still difficult. When he gets it, he smiles and signs SAME.

TOGETHER, Blaine signs.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? Kurt signs back.

US TOGETHER. BROADWAY!

“Fuck yeah,” Kurt automatically says, but Blaine must’ve understood because his grin widens. They’re going to do it. Together. Kurt can’t say that the anxiety about his potential miscast is gone, but Blaine really encourages him by being so enthusiastic. Sure, Blaine can’t hear him sing, but it shows that he likes Kurt’s work for other reasons as well.

He’s really happy that he got paired together with Blaine.

Of course, it isn’t all work and business. The cast loves to play around behind the scenes. They all need it in order to stay sane during the long rehearsal days.

And most days they immediately go home to fall to their beds.

Other days, they go out.

The entire cast is at an arcade. It is incredibly loud. The noises of many arcades is overwhelming.

Kurt and Blaine are playing Mario Kart and there must be something off with the machine because the tones are so high, it is grating and probably not supposed to be like this. Blaine, of course, doesn’t care.

LOUD, Kurt signs and points to the machine.

Blaine laughs.

REALLY?

YES!

And Blaine just laughs more. Kurt likes his laugh. It’s nice.

Kurt and Blaine are at Blaine’s apartment, once again going over the script. They revise their work every now and then, even outside of work. That’s because they’re very dedicated to it.

They’re doing it through text this time, since they didn’t ask one of the interpreters to come along. It’s fine. Communicating through texting and writing is obviously more demanding than signing or speaking, but they both agreed it’s okay.

They want to do this right with the role.

After all, the Voice of Emmett is basically Emmett internally. Something he does not want to share with the outside world. They have already worked on how Kurt is going to deliver those lines and how Blaine will sign along, but they also want to show the relationship between Emmett and his voice in their blocking.

What does Emmett’s Voice represent? In Spring Awakening, the Voices would represent a character’s inner thoughts, or a character’s innocence, or a true self.

What is Emmett’s true self?

BA: I think Emmett has a lot of thoughts that he cannot express easily.

KH: As in?

BA: Well, I think that in Take It Like A Man, we can play around and show Emmett’s true feelings towards Elle.

KH: We might have to discuss it with the director if we want to make big changes.

Luckily, the Artie is very open to input from others.

BA: True

But I think it’d be nice if you might move more closer to Rachel, while I am in the changing booth. To show Emmett trying to reach out.

And then when Rachel is done paying and moves back to me, you quickly turn away.

KH: That’s brilliant!

BA: Yeah?

KH: Yeah! Like, he is letting himself long for Elle, but he doesn’t know how to tell her. He is so close in Take It Like A Man. He’s starting to realise his feelings, but he can’t admit it yet!

BA: And yes, you, his Voice, understand it more than me. Since you embody his thoughts.

Kurt and Blaine give each other a high five. They are a great time. Other Voice actors are also closely working together with their counterparts. Even Kitty and Mercedes have found a middle ground. Still, it’s clear to everyone that he and Blaine are probably the closest.

The two of them hang out all the time.

The two of them have lunch outside the theatre.

The two of them text a lot.

The two of them also visit each other on their days off, even for non-work related things.

The two of them are true friends.

Kurt knew he was going to grow close with the cast, since the collaborative nature of the show practically demands it, but he didn’t know he was going to get an actual best friend out of it. He can’t imagine doing the show without Blaine at his side.

They go over more moments that has a potential. Blaine moves closer, since they use Kurt’s copy of the script. It’s easier to annotate it all in one place.

Kurt writes something down during the iconic and I don’t have to hit on interns, professor line. Out of the corner of his eyes, he can see Blaine watching him intently and when Blaine notices, he looks a bit alarmed, but Kurt just smiles.

They’re doing this together.

Legally Blonde is a highly anticipated show, so of course there is a lot of press. The cast performs some numbers in the rehearsal space for the press and afterwards they get bombarded by interviews.

Kurt and Blaine are paired together, which was to be expected, so they actually met up the day before to go over possible answers for possible questions.

“So, what is it like to play this character together,” the interviewer asks. The interpreter is stood next to them.

Kurt turns to Blaine to see if he wants to answer first. Blaine notices and raises his hands.

“It’s really fun,” he answers and Kurt can’t help.

SAME, he signs, which in turn makes Blaine smile.

“It is a unique experience and a collaborative project,” Blaine continues, “I have been with this show since the workshopping days, and Kurt is new to our Broadway run, and we both have our own history with the show and our own interpretation. And of course, I had a different Emmett with the previous guy who played his Voice, but it is really cool to learn Kurt’s perspective as well. It’s clashed sometimes, but it’s great to actually be able to have a conversation about Emmett. We both really care for him.”

“Yes,” Kurt cuts in when he realises Blaine’s done, “We’ve jokingly referred to Emmett as our son.” Kurt also signs SON when he says that.

The interviewer laughs at that. Kurt and Blaine do too. Blaine’s laugh is nice to hear. It’s quiet.

“But yes, I’ve had thoughts about Emmett, as a fan of the show. Blaine has had thoughts about him, since he’s been playing Emmett for longer than I have. I was a bit nervous coming in, because I am new, but Blaine and the entire company has been very welcoming.”

“Now of course you’re both making your Broadway debuts!” the interviewer says and Blaine waves his hands as a cheer. Kurt nods. “Although, Kurt, you have some other credits in the city as well.”

This actually surprises Kurt. He didn’t expect the interviewer to know this. It’s a huge cast, so it’s impressive if they did a thorough review of every member and Kurt respects them for it.

“True,” he says, still sounding impressed.

“This is definitely a step away from your usual stuff,” the interviewer continues, “What spurred you to audition for this role? A role like Emmett isn’t something people would think about when thinking about you.”

The interviewer looks genuinely interested, so Kurt doesn’t assume there is a malicious intent on their part, but he’d be lying if he didn’t say that his stomach just dropped a little bit. They didn’t outright say why this role might be ill-fitted for Kurt, but they don’t have to.

Maybe they aren’t even talking about Kurt’s voice, or his sexuality. Maybe they don’t even mean ill-fitted. But that’s what Kurt’s mind latches on to.

Next to Kurt, Blaine moves a little bit closer. He knows that it is a sensitive question. Kurt composes himself and he puts on a hopefully dazzling smile.

“Well, as I said, I am a fan of the original,” Kurt says and he focuses on not sounding nervous, “And I am also a fan of Deaf West’s previous Broadway musical Spring Awakening. So I saw an opportunity to do something I am really invested in and I took it.”

“Besides- I mean, if I may,” Blaine gives Kurt a questioning look and Kurt nods.

GO ON, he signs quickly.

“Besides, our show is all about new ways of showing a well-known story,” Blaine points out, “And the beauty of it is that the creatives did not change a single line in the script or a single lyric. As this guy once said-” Blaine puts one hand on Kurt’s shoulder and uses the other one to point at him for extra emphasis “-we want to challenge our audience.”

“Yes, I don’t want to take away from the work as a company of a whole,” Kurt quickly says, “But I also love the opportunity to show audiences what I can do.”

YES! Blaine signs. He still has the other hand on Kurt’s shoulder.

Luckily, the interviewer then moves to Blaine by asking him about his theatrical background and Kurt feels relieved. He hopes it isn’t super obvious.

Since Blaine is giving bigger answers, he uses both hands to sign and Kurt admits he misses the touch. It was very comforting. Kurt’s a bit lost in his own thoughts, so he admittedly misses some of Blaine’s replies, but when he starts talking about family, Kurt’s interest gets piqued.

“- supportive, but it wasn’t always rosy. It was a bit hard to tell my parents I wanted to study acting,” he lets out a sigh, “They knew that being Deaf would bring obstacles. I’d have to work twice as hard for anything, which is something we allude to in the show, and a creative career is already tough for hearing people. But I am glad I am here. I am glad to prove them wrong.”

The interviewer laughs.

“I understand they wanted what they thought was best for me, but I also wish they had been supportive from the beginning.”

“Are they supportive now?” the interviewer asks.

“Oh, absolutely. So is my brother. He’s also an actor.”

“Your parents must’ve been bewildered to have two acting sons.”

“Definitely. But Cooper is hearing, so it was different for him, or so they thought. It wasn’t until I told them about the Broadway transfer that they started to realise that this is working out. They’ve been supportive enough to at least come to all my other shows, but now they see that it is the real deal. So I also hope that when people see a show filled with a lot of Deaf people, they see it is possible. Spring Awakening and Big River paved the way for a musical like this, and we will keep going.”

“Well, we’re glad you’re here!” the interviewer says.

“Same,” Kurt says and signs.

The interviewer thanks Kurt and Blaine before moving on to more people. The interpreter follows. Kurt and Blaine take a breather. That was a more in-depth interview than they expected.

YOU OKAY? Kurt asks.

I’M FINE, Blaine answers, I NEED A BREAK.

Kurt looks around. There is so much press, so they can’t really afford to leave. This is a huge day for their show. Still, he agrees.

LET’S GO, Kurt signs and he nods towards a door that leads out of the rehearsal space.

WE CAN’T, Blaine looks alarmed.

Kurt doesn’t know how to sign “just for a small minute”, so he signs SECRET, SMALL, FAST and luckily Blaine gets it. The two slip out of the room unnoticed.

Once they’re in a hallway, Kurt leans against the wall and he lets out a deep breath. He knew press was going to be part of it, but he expected that he would be asked very basic questions.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. He looks over to Blaine, who has a phone in his hand.

BA: So that was a lot, wasn’t it?

Kurt smiles.

KH: I did not expect to semi-admit to my anxieties like that

BA: Me neither

KH: Are you still anxious about your parents? What you said sounds kinda rough

After all, Kurt can’t imagine his dad not being supportive. Yes, his dad has also had doubts and concerns, but he still fought for Kurt. Kurt still gets a warm feeling when he thinks about his dad going to McKinley, demanding that Kurt should be allowed to try out for Defying Gravity. He didn’t understand it, but he knew Kurt wanted it.

By the time Kurt’s out of his thoughts, he sees that Blaine has sent a long answer.

BA: It was, but it could’ve been worse. My parents at least sign. 80% of hearing parents do not sign. They didn’t have this view in their head that Deafness is something that needs to be fixed. My family learnt ASL for me, they let me to go a Deaf school, and they did a lot for me in that regards. Thanks to them I am the confident person I am today and I had a language and a culture and a community. So I suppose I was a bit nervous about this career, because it felt a bit ungrateful. They did so much to help me excel, and then I choose acting? But in the end, what they did is called good parenting, and with good parenting, I shouldn’t feel like I owe it to them to give up on my dreams just because they don’t agree with me.

How are your parents?

I never really asked.

KH: We never really talked about it.

BA: True

KH: My mom died when I was young, but she always encouraged the creative side. My dad and stepmom as well.

I told you Finn’s my brother, right?

My stepmom is his mom.

Our parents couldn’t be more proud of us.

BA: Sorry to hear about your mom

But glad to hear your stepmom is lovely

KH: Well I am glad to hear it’s all okay with your family now.

BA: Yeah better late than never

The two of them share a small smile. Their moment gets interrupted when the door opens and Lauren, the Deaf actress who plays Enid, pokes her head around the corner. She looks relieved when she finds them.

THERE YOU ARE, she signs.

SORRY, Kurt and Blaine both sign immediately.

WE NEEDED A BREAK, Blaine signs.

Lauren looks at Blaine, then to Kurt, then back to Blaine. A smile forms on her face and she has an amused look on her face. Kurt tries to see if Blaine gets why Lauren is looking at them like that, but Blaine looks slightly confused as well.

Lauren signs something but it’s too advanced for Kurt to keep up, but Blaine notices and quickly texts it to him.

BA: They were looking for us, so we should probably head inside. Someone wants to do an interview with some of the Voice actors and another person wants to interview me, Mercedes, Quinn and Lauren.

OKAY, Kurt signs, I UNDERSTAND.

Together they follow Lauren back inside.

Everyone is rehearsing the final number. It’s huge, since every member of the cast is on stage. Kurt and the other Voice actors are on the higher level pedestal in the back and they sing. In front of them, all the others dance and sing as well.

Honestly, it looks pretty cool.

“Oh, and if you could give one second before we all go,” Rachel sings and signs. Then she moves to Blaine who is standing to the side with others. She takes his hand and leads him to the middle before signing and singing: “Emmett Forrest, please make me the happiest woman I know.”

Rachel goes down on one knee, which is Kurt’s cue to sing: “Omi, omi, omigod!”

Everyone else joins in and Blaine and Rachel kiss while the other actors dance, sing and sign around them. Kurt isn’t singing during that part, since obviously Emmett is busy. He always feels a bit weird during this moment. Blaine and Rachel know it’s just a rehearsal, but they’re going all out.

Finn, who stands next to Kurt for this number, looks at him while he sings. Then he looks back to Rachel and Blaine kissing.

Luckily, Rachel and Blaine break apart to resume their parts.

“And now I found my love,” Kurt and Rachel’s voices blend together, “I found my way to love/I finally found my prize!”

Once the song is over, Artie gives some notes and they take a small break. Kurt and Finn walk back to the wings and Finn lets out a laugh.

“It’s still kinda weird,” he says.

“Hm?” Kurt raises an eyebrow.

“Watching my girlfriend kiss another guy,” Finn answers.

“That’s acting,” Kurt shrugs.

Finn gives him a look, as if he waits for Kurt to say more about it. But Kurt just frowns.

“What?” he asks.

“Nothing,” Finn says quickly. Too quickly. Then he turns on his heel and awkwardly walks away.

What just happened?

The show is finished.

They have their final dress rehearsal, in front of an audience. A free audience. Kurt’s friends are in the audience as well. It’s basically a preview of the upcoming previews.

The actual previews are nerve-wracking. Legally Blonde has ten previews in a row and the first preview is the first show for a paying audience.

The show goes almost flawlessly, in Kurt’s opinion. There were some slight technical problems with the big screen that sometimes shows what’s being said or sung in writing, for example during Whip Into Shape, when the actors need both hands for the jump rope section, or when Elle yells from the supply closet.

But apart from that, it’s going great. Everyone’s amazing and on their marks. No one is flubbing lines. People laugh at the delivery of lines of the hearing cast, which makes Kurt happy. He and Blaine worked very hard on trying to nail the comedic bits, in both English and ASL, and Kurt’s happy to report that the audience laughed at the Hello Kitty part, among other moments.

After the show, the cast and crew is ecstatic. They all want to go out into town. Not for too long, though, since they have nine more shows to go through.

Kurt waits outside for some others when he overhears some audience members talking about the show.

He smiles when he hears the happy comments.

But then…

“I only didn’t really get the right vibe from the guy voicing Emmett, though,” one person says and Kurt tenses up.

Kurt hears the sound of papers being turned.

“His name is Kurt Hummel,” someone else says.

“Does anyone know him?” a third person asks.

Kurt hears disagreeing sounds.

“He can sing nicely,” one of the three says, “But I don’t know, I just wasn’t feeling it. If it hadn’t been for the other guy playing Emmet, uh…”

“Blaine Anderson.”

“Yeah, him! If it hadn’t been for him, I don’t know if I would’ve liked the Elle and Emmett storyline as much.”

The stage door opens and Blaine appears with Brittany, the hard of hearing actress who plays Margot. When Brittany sees Kurt, she immediately looks back to Blaine, as if she’s wondering if she should leave Kurt and Blaine alone.

Blaine raises his hands, but Kurt puts a finger to his lips.

Both Blaine and Brittany frown.

PEOPLE ARE TALKING, Kurt signs. He signs close to his body to indicate that he’s practically whispering.

WHAT IS IT? Brittany asks.

Kurt once again puts his finger to his lips and he focuses on the three audience members again. He’s missed some part of the conversation.

“… saying he isn’t talented!” one of them says, “He is. He can clearly sing, but I don’t know, I’m just not feeling it.”

“I think that maybe it’s because I didn’t expect Emmett to sound like that,” the other person says back and Kurt, well… his shoulders slump.

???? Blaine signs with a frown.

WAIT, Kurt signs back.

“Like, not to sound like an ass, but it just didn’t feel like a convincing Emmett,” the third person says in agreement, “Blaine’s back must be hurting from carrying that role.”

The three of them laugh and Kurt purses his lips and he looks down. He listens to the three audience members criticising his work and he knows it’s only three people, but it hurts. It hurts right where it hits the hardest. Kurt hears how they walk away, still talking about the show, and Kurt tries not to cry.

It’s just three people.

But if they already feel this way, then they won’t be the last.

Suddenly there’s a hand on his shoulder and Kurt’s head jerks up. Blaine’s staring at him with a concerned look.

YOU OKAY?

I’M FINE, Kurt signs back.

DON’T LIE, Blaine signs and he sighs. Then he quickly looks back to Brittany and he signs something to her. She nods and she leaves them alone.

I DON’T KNOW THE SIGNS, Kurt admits. He’s gotten so much better at ASL in the past weeks, but this is too advanced and also his mind is all over the place.

T-E-X-T ME, Blaine signs back.

So Kurt takes out his phone and he does. It’s a long read and Blaine also takes his time reading it.

I’M SORRY, he signs when he’s finished, THEY ARE WRONG.

HOW DO YOU KNOW? Kurt signs back in annoyance, signing sharply with quick movements, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. YOU NEVER WILL.

Blaine’s eyes widen and Kurt feels like shit.

BLAINE… Kurt trails off.

But Blaine turns away.

FORGET IT, he signs and he walks off.

“Blaine,” Kurt yells out, proving himself to be even more of an idiot. He realises what he’s doing and instead he runs after him and grabs Blaine by the elbow.

BLAINE, Kurt signs again, DON’T. TELL ME.

Blaine hesitates for a while, but then he holds up his phone.

Kurt nods. By the time he’s opened his message app, he already has a message.

BA: You’re right, Kurt, I don’t understand it fully, because I don’t understand how voices can sound weird when hearing people speak.

But I can understand feeling insecure about a voice.

I don’t speak for a reason and that is fine.

And I can also understand the nerves. Do you think everyone will be open minded about Deaf people in a musical? Maybe it won’t be outright ridicule, but people will think weirdly about it.

Kurt remembers when Spring Awakening hit the Broadway scene. There were indeed some people who couldn’t stop talking about deaf people in a musical, as if it was something weird. And as Blaine said, people didn’t outright think it was a bad idea, but it just confused people and Kurt knows of people who didn’t see it, because the confusion bled over to scepticism.

Deaf people in a musical? How can that even work?

BA: We are here to challenge people, remember?

You said it yourself.

It sucks what they said, but it also shows that they don’t get the show. Legally Blonde in itself is about challenging people’s views. Elle proved people wrong. We will prove people wrong.

YOU’RE RIGHT, Kurt signs, SORRY.

I’M NOT MAD, Blaine signs and Kurt raises an eyebrow and Blaine relents, MAYBE A LITTLE.

Kurt now sends a message.

KH: I didn’t want to imply that you don’t know what it’s like to be judged

BA: I know

KH: I’m just really upset

BA: And you can be. But tomorrow is a new show. A new chance.

Kurt wants to reply when another message pops up. It’s in the groupschat of the cast and crew and it’s Marley, who voices Margot, asking who’s coming along for some drinks. Both Kurt and Blaine see it.

But Kurt sends back that he’s tired.

He was going to go out, but now he’s just too upset.

He switches back to the conversation with Blaine and writes:

KH: You should get going, the others are waiting

BA: Yeah

KH: But I will see you tomorrow.

BA: See you tomorrow.

Kurt looks up from his screen and he gives Blaine a small smile. Blaine steps forwards, but then he changes his mind on whatever he was considering. Instead, he steps back and waves and they part ways.

There were three people giving Kurt shit.

And then two more after the next preview.

And then a whole group of people after the third.

By the time the fourth preview has happened, he’s losing it. Kurt can’t go outside anymore in the fear of overhearing more people talk shit.

Kurt’s sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hand. The fifth preview is about to start in an hour. Will and Finn are doing vocal warm-up. Dustin and Blaine obviously don’t care, but Kurt does. Does he have to hear them sing so well?

And yes, Kurt can also sing well.

Or… maybe he can’t. He did get a note from the Artie on his singing. He wasn’t doing great during the fourth preview, since the nerves just overtook him. He missed a line as well. Fuck. When he got home with Finn and Rachel, they already asked him if he needed anything or what they could do. But what can he do? He will only mess up more.

He wants to call his dad, but his dad keeps talking about how excited he is to be there at opening night and Kurt doesn’t want to let him down.

Oh no.

This is going to go downhill from here.

He will be nervous and the nerves will make him mess up, which will lead to more shit comments, which in turn will make him more nervous, and then he will mess up even more-

There’s a hand on his shoulder, pulling him out of his panic spiral, grounding him back to reality.

Blaine sits down next to him.

It’s silent, so Kurt looks around and he realises that the others have left them alone. His phone lights up.

BA: I asked the others to leave.

THANKS, Kurt signs.

WHAT IS WRONG? Blaine asks.

Kurt holds up his phone to indicate that he’s going to type.

KH: I can’t go on

BA: Why?

KH: I can’t do it. I am not fit for this.

BA: Everyone has pre-show jitters.

Kurt shakes his head. This is different from pre-show jitters. He’s had pre-show jitters before, but he’s never felt like this. He is Kurt Hummel. He usually has the confidence to overcome things like this. He’s usually not this beat down.

Well, Kurt supposes that every creative person has a breaking point. Unfortunately for him, his is during his first Broadway run.

Kurt texts all of this. He also tells Blaine about how the criticism is hitting and about how it’s been happening after every show.

KH: I can’t go on. I want to quit. I’ve never wanted to quit before, Blaine. Do you think I can quit?

NO, Blaine signs quickly, sharply and he uses a lot of space to do so.

But Kurt lets out a teary sigh.

KH: I can’t do this, Blaine. I might have to talk to the director. If this keeps happening, then it’s clear that this isn’t the place for me. Maybe it’s the best that I leave before the opening, so that Roderick has time to step in.

Swings and understudies usually don’t start rehearsal until after previews, but if Kurt quits, then Roderick will get promoted. And he has a gorgeous voice. Maybe this is meant to me. Maybe this was never Kurt’s role.

BA: Whatever you’re thinking, stop

Kurt looks from his screen. Blaine looks at him with an intense look on his face. He’s silently pleading. Kurt shakes his head and shakingly writes

KH: What do I have to offer? If I can’t do my work properly, it’ll make it worse for everyone. Why should I stay?

Kurt waits for Blaine to answer, but he doesn’t. He sighs and gets up to leave. He must look for Artie. But when Kurt leaves, Blaine stops him.

Blaine starts signing something and Kurt doesn’t get it, but it looks familiar.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND, he signs sadly.

Blaine’s face falls.

Normally, Kurt would sit down and try to understand, but he is in a hurry now. The show is about to start.

I MUST GO, Kurt then signs and leaves. Blaine doesn’t stop him.

A Broadway theatre is huge, so it takes some time until Kurt finds Artie. He’s asked everyone he’s passed and it turns out that he is on stage. Kurt’s behind the curtain and he walks to the wings when he hears his name.

“Kurt is not doing so great,” Artie says.

Kurt stops in his tracks.

“Do you know what to do?” Mike, the choreographer, asks.

“I don’t know. How can we support him?” Artie asks the others, “He’s clearly struggling with something, which is a shame. His roommates have already asked me for help.”

“But what could be bothering him?” someone says through an interpreter. Kurt can’t peek through the curtains, so he doesn’t know who else is there.

“I don’t know,” Artie says, “We need to see if he’s open to talking about it. It’s a shame.”

“He was doing well up until previews,” Mike notes and Kurt nods. Mike is right. That feels like ages ago.

“What’s changed? He did a stellar job and the audience loved him!” the interpreter says. Kurt tries not to snort, because he knows it’ll lead to tears.

“I don’t know,” Artie says again, “Shelby, do you think we can ask Blaine? He and Kurt work together the most, they’re perfect together. Maybe Blaine knows.”

Shelby is one of the ASL masters for the show. Blaine likes her.

“And go behind Kurt’s back?” Shelby sounds a bit affronted.

“I agree with Shelby,” Mike says, “We should first talk to Kurt. What can it be? He’s doing great and the audience indeed seems to like him.”

Kurt frowns. First Shelby, now Mike?

“Yes, yes, I too have heard all the praise,” Artie says, “I particularly liked the comment of one audience member who loved how he sings the end of Chip On My Shoulder. He and Blaine really care for that number.”

“I overheard some people saying that he is a breakout star of the show,” Mike says.

“Yes, and some of my friends said that he is great too,” Shelby adds, “Even when they cannot hear him, his subtle stage acting is wonderful and people appreciate it.”

Kurt’s still standing behind the thick curtain and he listens to how Artie, Mike and Shelby talk about his great work.

Is this… true?

Well, why would they lie? They don’t know he’s here.

Kurt turns around.

Maybe Roderick will have to wait a bit longer until he makes his Broadway debut. Kurt is still not fully convinced. It feels like a huge relief to hear that there are people who like him, but he also knows that people do not like him. He can’t say all of his doubt has disappeared as snow before the sun, but if people think he is doing great work then the least he can do is try to keep it up. And that’s not what’s happening right now.

Artie said it. He did great, but he got worse.

Kurt goes back to the dressing room to only find Dustin there. Blaine is gone. Well, they will see each other on stage. One more preview cannot hurt, right?

Emmett isn’t on stage for the first twenty minutes or so. Usually, Kurt and Blaine watch the show together from the dressing room while getting ready. Every dressing room with a Deaf or hard of hearing member has a nice TV with a view of the stage and with text on the screen.

Kurt watches how everyone acts their hearts out.

He needs to do the same. He cannot let this cast down. Yes, he’s struggling, but he doesn’t want to drag everyone down. He doesn’t want to drag Blaine down. If this show still goes horribly wrong, then he’ll talk to Artie about what to do.

On screen, Rachel does her big dance number at Harvard. It’s almost time to go on. Kurt checks his hair and make-up one last time before going down to the wings.

Blaine is waiting there.

He gives Kurt a quick nod. Kurt feels like he has to say something, but before he knows it, they’re cued to go on stage.

The entire show goes well. Blaine is a wonderful actor and Kurt’s happy to shadow him. They get laughs at their comedic bits.

“So I’ll give you ladies a moment then!” Kurt says and Blaine signs it. The audience laughs and they only laugh more when Blaine turns to him and they act that Emmett and his Voice cannot get out here soon enough, with Blaine shooing Kurt to the side.

The get more laughs at the Hello Kitty line and afterwards Kurt tells Blaine people liked it.

GREAT, he signs.

Honestly, it’s going great. Kurt’s turned off his thoughts and he tries to focus on the show. He does flub a line, but he quickly recovers and improvises. Luckily, Rachel can hear it so she waits a few more seconds before she does her line.

The second act has a lot more Emmett and Elle, but there is one moment where they can take a break. Emmett isn’t on stage during the big Elle and professor Callahan scene. It’s a nice break, because the song Legally Blonde comes next, which is a big emotional one, so Kurt and Blaine need to get into the mindset.

Rachel starts the song and does her blocking. The prop door slides to the centre of the stage and Kurt and Blaine follow along. Once it’s ready, they lean against it and Rachel walks up to them.

“There she is, intern of the year!” Kurt says. Blaine also looks radiant while signing it to Rachel.

“Thanks for your help and for all you’ve done,” Rachel sings and signs while she walks to Blaine. Kurt steps to the side, so that the focus shifts on Rachel and Blaine. “Thank you for treating me decently.”

“What’s wrong?” Kurt asks.

“Maybe someday you can visit me/Give me a call/Say hello.”

Rachel reaches for the doorknob but Blaine puts his hand on it and uses one hand to sign.

“Wait/Where are you going?” Kurt sings.

“Sorry I’m letting down everyone,” Rachel walks away and Kurt and Blaine trail behind her.

“What brought on this?”

“You did your best with a hopeless case.”

“That’s ludicrous!”

“You were the best thing about this place!” Kurt and Rachel sing together.

“Elle you should know-”

“Callahan hit on me!” Rachel says and signs.

“He what?” Kurt always makes sure to sounds super affronted here.

“He kissed me, then he fired me, and he made it very clear I don’t belong here,” Rachel turns away from Blaine to walk to the door.

Blaine grabs her arm to make him look at her.

HE’S WRONG, Blaine signs angrily. Kurt was so caught up in Blaine’s small acting that he forgot the first part.

“Hey, we’ll fix it!” Kurt joins in, sounding angry and upset, “We’ll fight it.” He stands on the other side of Rachel.

“Emmett, please,” Rachel sounds teary and she touches Blaine’s cheek, “There’s no reason for me to stay.”

Then she goes through the prop door and it’s time for Emmett’s big love declaration. Blaine moves away from the door so that he can turn to the audience, so that his signs are clear to see. Kurt stays at the door and he knows that he needs to turn towards it, to Rachel as Elle, but when he starts to sing, he realises something.

“What about love?” Kurt signs and he slowly looks to Blaine instead, who has his back turned to him, “I never mentioned love/The timing’s bad, I know.”

And Kurt cannot see Blaine’s signs, but he knows what he’s signing. Kurt remembers.

This is what Blaine was signing to him in the dressing room. Back then it didn’t click, since Kurt as a Voice actor, doesn’t know the ASL gloss of the script by heart. But now he remember this part.

“But perhaps if I’d made it more clear,” Kurt continues to sing as he keeps looking at Blaine, “That you belong right here/You wouldn’t have to go/Cause you’d know that I am so much in love-”

“Back to the sun/Back to the shore!” Rachel’s voice joins from the other side of the door while Kurt’s doing his long note, “Back to what I was before.”

Blaine quickly moves back to the door for the next line.

“Please, will you open the door!” Kurt sings while Blaine is so close to him, he almost bumps into Kurt.

“Lie on the beach/Dream within reach/Don’t stray beyond!”

“We both know you’re worth so much more!” Kurt sings. Blaine was signing this to him earlier.

“Some girls fight hard/Some face the trail/Some girls were just meant to smile.”

“If you can hear/Can I just say/How much I want you to stay,” Kurt sings and since his eyes are still on Blaine, he sees that Blaine quickly looks at Kurt out of the corner of his eyes. It almost throws Kurt off.

“It’s not up to me/Just let me be/Legally Blonde.”

“I need you to stay!” Kurt sings and again, Blaine shoots him a look. Does he realise that Kurt’s seeing him?

Rachel finishes the song.

“It’s not up to me/Just let me be/Legally Blonde.”

The lights go down and the applause is massive. The door gets slid off stage and Kurt, Blaine and Rachel leave.

WE DID IT, Rachel dries her tears.

PAH! Blaine signs too.

Kurt wants to say more, but his mind is a mess. He can’t stop looking at Blaine.

When Blaine and Rachel realise Kurt isn’t going to say much, they leave together to discuss the song a bit more. Blaine does look over his shoulder, back to Kurt, but Kurt just nods. What else can he do?

Did Blaine confess his love to Kurt in the dressing room?

Since there is another big break for Kurt and Blaine, he has the time to think about it. Emmett will be back for the finale, so Kurt goes back to the dressing room. Only Will is here, which makes sense since Callahan will also be absent until the finale, but where is Blaine?

“Have you seen Blaine?” he asks Will.

“No, sorry,” Will answers, “Aren’t you the one who’s with Blaine all the time?”

“Usually, yes.”

Kurt scours the theatre but to no avail. By the time he’s seen everything, it’s almost time for him to go back to stage. Of course that means Blaine has to be on stage as well. Blaine arrives behind the prop doors of the court room. Rachel has just gone in.

WHERE WERE YOU? Kurt asks, I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

OUTSIDE, Blaine answers, I NEEDED A BREAK.

A BREAK?

But then Kurt hears Will’s line and he signs to Blaine that it’s time to go on. They’ll hopefully talk later.

Blaine and Rachel kiss on stage. All the others dance around them. Kurt and the other Voice actors watch from their pedestal.

It is awkward to see. It was always awkward to see. Blaine and Rachel are really going for it.

Kurt remembers what Finn had said about watching the kiss. It made him weirdly jealous. Is Kurt feeling the same? He’s so deep in thoughts that Finn has to poke him.

“And now I found my love!” he sings quickly. Right on time, thanks to his brother.

“My god!”

“I found my way to love!”

“You guys!”

“I finally found my prize!”

And Blaine and Rachel kiss again and Kurt feels uneasy.

After the bows, Kurt immediately wants to talk to Blaine, but Artie wheels to him.

“Kurt, a word?”

“I-” Kurt looks around and his eyes find Blaine. Blaine’s staring back.

Artie coughs.

“Kurt, please.”

“Right,” Kurt turns back to Artie. Hopefully Blaine doesn’t think that Kurt is the one initiating. He’s not going to tell Artie he’s quitting.

Kurt follows Artie to a more private place. Mike, Shelby and an interpreter are waiting inside. They tell him everything that has been discussed earlier, but obviously they do not know that Kurt has overheard them.

“So yes,” Artie concludes, “What can we do to help? Do you need resources? Maybe we can hire someone to talk to-”

Kurt holds up his hands. He appreciates it, he really does, especially since he knows that Broadway is still brutal, but his mind is elsewhere. The longer he stays here, the longer he has to wait before he can find Blaine.

“Guys, thank you,” Kurt says genuinely, “It is true that I am struggling and that is impacting my performance, but today something happened that has lifted my spirits and I want to see where it’s heading now.”

“Good to hear that,” Mike says, sounding relieved.

“But you will come to us if things are going downhill again, right?” Shelby asks.

TRUE BIZ! Kurt signs, which makes Shelby smile.

“… Can I go?” Kurt asks awkwardly and the moment Artie nods, he turns on his heel and bolts towards the dressing room.

“Woah there,” Sebastian says when Kurt basically runs into him.

“Have you seen Blaine?” Kurt asks.

“He just left,” Sebastian answered, “He and Dustin said something about the Deaf cast going somewhere specific? His signing was a bit too fast…”

“Oh.”

That’s too bad, then. And maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe Kurt shouldn’t rush into whatever he was rushing into. He says his goodbyes to Sebastian and he declines Rachel’s invitation to go somewhere with some cast members. He goes home and he needs a good night of rest, since today was a lot.

Once he’s draped on his couch, everything’s falling into place in his head.

Blaine…

Blaine loves him?

Not only that, but does Kurt love him back?

Because Kurt thinks he does. He’s loved Blaine for a while, and he just didn’t realise, but now that he’s had this epiphany, it’s all crashing down. They became friends through their work. They help each other out. That’s how it started, but it became something more. They started to like each other as a person and they hung out more, even outside of work.

Fuck.

Just like Elle and Emmett.

Kurt laughs at that.

He wonders if others know. He remembers the look on Lauren’s face when she found the two of them outside, alone. Brittany looked intrigued as well that day. And of course Finn mentioned that it’s weird to watch Blaine and Rachel kiss because he’s in love with Rachel. It’s also weird for Kurt.

He’s not in love with Rachel. Far from it. He’s in love with Blaine!

A surprised, but happy laugh escapes his throat. He’s in love with Blaine and it honestly feels great. Now Kurt understands why he always felt warm and fuzzy around him. Now Kurt gets why he always wanted to go to the theatre early to see him.

Fuck.

What now?

Kurt is still Kurt, so his planning mode overtakes his brain. He needs to do something. He wants to do something. He grabs his phone and looks up the nearest flower shop.

The next day, Kurt’s running a bit late. It’s because he had to make a detour. Finn and Rachel left without him.

“Where are you going?” Rachel had asked at breakfast.

“I need to arrange something,” Kurt had answered, “See you two at work!”

Now, he’s climbing up the stairs to his dressing room with a small bouquet of roses in his hands. He passes other cast and crew members who gawk at him. Some look confused. Others look surprised. But some also give Kurt a knowing smile.

“Get your man!” Madison, who plays Pilar, hoots when he passes the one of the girls’ main dressing room. This leads to others cheering and hooting as well.

Kurt’s beet red by the time he’s at his own dressing room.

Of course, Blaine (and Dustin) did not hear the commotion, but Sebastian, Will and Finn did and when they see Kurt standing in the door opening with the bouquet, they can put the puzzle pieces together.

Will taps Blaine’s shoulder, so that he turns around, and when he does his entire face morphs into a look of surprise. And hope. There’s a bit of hope there.

WE MUST GO, Dustin signs and all the other guys quickly agree.

“Finally,” Sebastian mutters when he passes Kurt. Finn also gives him a tap on the back. Dustin and Will smile and Dustin signs something really quickly to Blaine. Kurt can’t really see it, but Blaine barks out a laugh.

Dustin closes the door behind him.

THIS IS FOR YOU, Kurt holds out the bouquet with one hand and he uses the others so sign.

THANK YOU, Blaine signs with a smile. He accepts it but then puts the flowers on the table so he can sign. I LOVE THEM.

Kurt has so much he can say. The thoughts are still swirling in his head, but he doesn’t know the signs and he doesn’t want to text, so he signs the one thing he knows for sure. The one thing that matters.

I LOVE YOU.

Blaine’s smile widens.

I LOVE YOU TOO, Blaine signs back and Kurt’s pretty sure he has a matching smile on his face.

WHEN WE MET, I LIKED YOU, Kurt signs slowly, AND THEN I FELL IN LOVE. YESTERDAY, I UNDERSTOOD. HERE WE ARE.

It’s not the most eloquent and romantic speech, but it’s all he can do and judging by the smitten look on Blaine’s face, the point has still come across.

CAN I KISS YOU? Blaine asks and Kurt’s nodding before Blaine’s even finished the sentence.

Yes, yes he can. Why aren’t they kissing yet? Kurt puts his hands on Blaine’s face and he kisses him. Blaine kisses back. It’s wonderful. It’s only the first kiss and Kurt already can’t get enough of it. Blaine puts his hands over Kurt’s and he deepens the kiss.

Kurt can’t believe he didn’t realise that this was right in front of him, but better late than never.

The applause is enormous, even when half of the audience isn’t making noise. Kurt watches from the wings how everyone takes their first Broadway bow. The ensemble moves aside for all the other characters.

Emmett is the second to last, so once April has moved aside, Kurt and Blaine run on stage. Blaine was on the other side of the theatre but they meet in the middle. Blaine holds out his hand and Kurt takes it. Together they run to the front of the stage to take their bows.

It’s opening night.

They’re making their Broadway debut.

Rachel takes her bow and then the entire company comes on stage, including swings and understudies and crew members, so that they can take their last bow of the evening.

Once all of that is done, they run off stage and the energy is off the charts. People are yelling, in English and ASL. People are weeping. It’s a commotion, but a good one. Everyone runs back to the dressing rooms in order to get changed into their opening night outfits.

Blaine looks absolutely stunning in a navy check patterned suit. Kurt ties the matching pink bowtie around Blaine’s neck and when he’s done, he gives Blaine a small kiss.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, he signs, MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND.

YOU ARE MY BEAUTIFUL BOYFRIEND, Blaine signs back.

Kurt is wearing a fancy suit jacket with flowers on top of a pair of black slacks. The jacket is dark pink, which felt appropriate since this is Legally Blonde. Everyone wears at least a little bit pink.

Someone coughs.

Kurt looks at the direction of the sound and Blaine follows.

“You guys done flirting?” Finn says and he tries to sign along, “We have an opening night to attend!”

YOU AND RACHEL FLIRT ALL THE TIME, Blaine retorts.

COME ON, Kurt signs.

Once they’re in the lobby of the theatre, Kurt and Finn are immediately approached by their parents. They flew out to be here, since they wouldn’t miss it for the world.

“Oh, dad, this is…” Kurt reaches for Blaine, “This is Blaine.”

BLAINE, Burt signs, NICE TO MEET YOU. KURT TALK A LOT.

ABOUT YOU! Kurt adds.

WHERE YOUR PARENTS? Carole asks.

They’re here somewhere. Blaine was already looking for them before Kurt and Finn’s parents basically jumped on them.

Blaine excuses himself so that he can see his family and he kisses Kurt’s cheek before leaving. Carole swoons.

“Oh, shut it,” Kurt says and he feels red in the face. He’s not a teen anymore, yet he still feels like that when he’s being kissed in front of his parents.

“I’m happy for you, kid,” Burt says. He indeed sounds happy. “You were great on stage and Blaine seems lovely.”

Kurt is happy. He has a boyfriend and he’s part of a show he’s proud of. He’s still anxious for the upcoming reviews, but his cast and crew has his back, and he also tries to listen for positive feedback instead of focusing on the negative.

Kurt chats with his family for a bit longer until he’s called for press with Blaine. He and Blaine give a lot of small interviews about how they feel and what they achieved and if some of the interviewers notice how close they are, then they don’t comment on it.

After that, Blaine also introduces him to his family. Blaine signs differently when he’s with his family. He’s looser. Faster. He also signs with this when he’s just with the Deaf cast. Kurt can’t really follow it, but Blaine’s family is happy to help, especially Blaine’s loud brother Cooper.

Kurt’s working hard on learning more sign, so that communication will be easier, and Blaine’s mom also compliments him on the signing.

“Thanks, I’m still learning,” Kurt says and signs. His signing also becomes more English when he speaks at the same time.

“Well, not everyone does, so I am happy that Blaine has met you,” she says and signs back.

“Yeah, we’re really proud of Blaine,” Blaine’s dad says and signs and next to Kurt, Blaine beams.

“We didn’t fully understand it in the beginning, but it’s clear that you love what you’re doing,” Blaine’s mom signs to Blaine, but she speaks for Kurt, “And you’re doing a great job. The audience loves you as much as we do.”

Blaine looks like he’s about to cry from joy. Kurt steps away so that the Andersons can hug each other.

Kurt’s parents find them and both families meet each other and it feels right. Everyone hits it off right away. Kurt and Blaine have only been together for a few days, but it’s so good.

After all the serious stuff, it’s time to head to the afterparty. The parents went back to the hotels and Kurt and Blaine don’t mind since there’s a lot of partying, dancing and kissing and they end up going to Blaine’s place around 2am. They have to be in good shape for the next show, so they can’t get hammered.

If they thought being friends was great, then this is the next step. It is so much better than before.

–

End notes: And that’s a wrap. I really hope you liked it, Terra. When I saw the prompt, my mind immediately latched on Legally Blonde. I got the idea from Amelia Hensley, the actress who played Thea in Deaf West’s Spring Awakening. The Deaf and HoH cast was asked in the Vlog of Purple Summer which show they’d like to see in ASL and she answered this one and I agree. I was so happy to hear that Legally Blonde is also one of your favourite shows.

I watched a lot of extra stuff for this fic (like the aforementioned Vlog) and I made a post here with links and some extra comments on how it impacted the fic. If you liked this and want to know more about ASL and ASL Theatre, you can find some information there.

Thank you all for reading!

#klainesecretsanta2022 #klainedreams34 #klaine #glee #holy fuck I wrote #2022 #oneshot

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