#I get anxious when I‘m somewhere before the rest

[2eini]

I don’t know if I‘m being autistic or just very German when I‘m on vacation and feel bothered by the lack of structure and rules around me.

[waiting-for-motivation]

mud and blood

summary: War takes (Y/n)s best friend and breaks her. Fortunately, Hunter is there to soothe her pain.

pairings: Hunter x Reader, Bad Batch

warningst: pure angst

words: 1089

a/n: my requests are open for the clones so please hit me up with ideas :)

MASTERLIST REQUEST RULES

The hard fight is finally over but panic takes control of Hunters body. His legs carry him over the battlefield, over bodies as well as droid parts. Brown eyes search for someone special - for his beloved girlfriend.

After every other victory (Y/n) was at his side, holding his hand and keeping him from feeling overwhelmed. But not this time.

Hunter can hear his brothers screaming for him but he can‘t return to the ship. She has to be here somewhere. She has to be still alive.

From afar the sergeant hears muffled cries and because he has no other track of his girlfriend, he starts running. Under a tree he can make out a crouched person leaning on a dead body. The one still alive is covered in blood.

His boots stop in a puddle of mud and blood and that‘s when Hunter recognises the crying person as his lost love. At first the clone sergeant smiles but then he feels (Y/n)s dread and sorrow. So Hunter kneels next to his love and lays a hand on her shoulder.

(Y/n) doesn‘t move. He could be an enemy and try to kill her, but she wouldn‘t mind. Luckily he loves her and pulls her against his chest.

Deep down (Y/n) knows who is hugging her right now because only Hunter can make her feel safe when she feels like everything is falling apart. Her sobs and cries get muffled by his neck.

Hunters worried eyes wander from his love to the body she was clinging to. It‘s the commander of the clone force they were sent to help. Besides that he was (Y/n)s best friend too.

And now she lost him. And Hunter lost a brother.

Without exchanging one word, the sergeant stands up whilst also raising his girlfriend from the mud and starts walking to the ship. (Y/n) is covered in mud and blood but Hunter doesn‘t mind her dirtying his armor. Her feelings are more important than that.

His brothers await him in front of the ship and at the sight of their loyal companion they are at a loss of words. They watch Hunter carry the anxious female inside their ship and follow them after some time.

Their work here is done.

While Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker go to the cockpit and fly the ship away from this horrible planet, Hunter takes (Y/n) to their bathroom.

She has to bath, maybe drink and eat something and then sleep. They don‘t need to talk much because both know that would only overwhelm the other.

Carefully, the sergeant places his love on the closed toilet lid. Then takes off his helmet as well as upper armor because he has to move freely to get (Y/n) inside their tub.

The moment Hunter turns around again, his girlfriend is hugging her legs tightly and burying her face in between her knees. This sight breaks the clones heart.

“Hey, honey“, Hunter whispers as he kneels in front of (Y/n) and takes one of her hands in his, kissing it. While still close to his girlfriend, he reaches for the water tap of the bath tub and lets warm water fill it.

“Let me take care of you“, he adds and helps (Y/n) stand up so that he can take off her dirty clothes. The sergeant does this very careful and slow.

Then Hunter helps his girlfriend inside the warm water and kneels next to the bath tub, grabbing a cloth to wash away mud and blood. He starts with cleaning (Y/n)s face. To the sergeants surprise there is not a single injury. All the blood must be from others - from her best friend.

Gently, Hunter moves the cloth from (Y/n)s neck to her arms and finally to her hands. One of his own holds them and after they are clean again, the clone presses kisses to every knuckle.

But (Y/n) doesn‘t notice his loving touches. Her eyes are focused on the water which slowly turns red.

“Hey, honey“, the sergeant whispers and places a hand on his loves neck, high enough for his thumb to caress her cheek. (Y/n) doesn‘t move but Hunter forces her to face him. Her eyes look almost empty and the clone is pretty sure that she looks straight through him. She must be still with the dead clone commander.

“I‘m here. I‘m with you“, Hunter says with a shaking voice because he can feel (Y/n)s fear, sadness and distress. He closes his eyes for some time because him panicking right now wont help his girlfriend. After a few seconds he gets a grip on himself.

The sergeant scoops water in both his hands and lets it run over (Y/n)s hair. It needs some time but then her hair is clean again and before the water gets cold, Hunter lifts his love out of it. Carefully, he wraps a towel around her shaking form and dries her hair with another.

In her lovers protective arms, (Y/n) gets carried to their shared bedroom. Hunter places her on the bed and covers her with three blankets. Once again (Y/n) curls up tight and buries her face in the pillow.

With a sigh Hunter takes a seat next to her and holds her hand. He doesn‘t know what else to do. What could ease her pain? Probably nothing but time and love.

The moment the sergeant wants to undress and then lay next to his girlfriend, Crosshair stands in the doorframe. There is a steaming bowl in his hands and he looks almost worried. Hunter leaves the bed and takes the bowl from his brother.

“How is she doing?“, Crosshair asks and takes a step closer to have a better look at (Y/n)=. But he can only see the top of her head.

“Not good. But thanks for the soup although I don‘t think she wants to eat anything right now“, Hunter explains and sets the bowl of soup on his working table. His brother nods and leaves the room.

As quick as possible Hunter takes off the rest of his armor and lays down under the covers with only the bottom of his blacks. The moment his back touches the soft mattress, (Y/n) cuddles up to her beloved clone. She wraps her arms tightly around him and holds him close to remember that he is still with here.

“Good night, honey. I love you“, Hunter breathes and places a kiss on top of (Y/n)s head, wrapping his arms around her body and then closing his eyes.

star wars taglist: @shadowfoxey @luvzoria @remmyswritings @periwinklehoney @maximumcoffeeme

[honeypwark]

[ Riverside ]

  ↳ Gone Days era

       ↳ Xiang interrupts Chan and Jisung. She and Chan take a walk. She finally tells someone.

Note: Maybe reread Quitter and Turbulence before reading?

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains a detailed explanation of how Xiang developed and lived with her eating disorder. Please do not read if this is triggering for you.

m.list

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Chan sits at his desk with Jisung beside him, explaining how different chords in the same spot will change the feel of the song and he should choose based on what vibe he wants the song to have.

“I kind of want it to not just cut off. Like it’s leading to more even after the song’s ended.”

“G7 might work better then.”

“G7...?”

Chan plays the chord on the keyboard to his left.

“Oh, got it.”

“As opposed to G.” He plays said chord.

“Alright. And for the second verse I wanted to-“

There’s a soft knock on the door, “Chris?”

Chan turns in his desk chair, his attention immediately going to the girl that walks into the room.

“Hey, Sophie.”

It’s been three days since Xiang’s breakdown in the bathroom at four in the morning. The next morning, Xiang had promised she’d talk to Chan about what caused it but she’d need time. He gave her time, not even mentioning what had happened. Of course, without any kind of explanation, Chan has been left to worry about every little thing and see all the worst case scenarios for the last few days.

“Do you wanna go for a walk?”

“What? Is he your dog or something?”

Xiang’s eyes land on Jisung, who she hadn’t noticed when she’d entered, too tunnel visioned on finally growing a pair and talking about her issues. It took her nearly an hour to knock on Chan’s door and ask to go somewhere to talk privately. Her momentary false bravery crumbles visibly on her face as she realizes Chan is busy.

“Oh, sorry. You’re busy.”

“No, it’s fine,” Chan says quickly, stopping her from leaving. He turns to Jisung, “We’ll finish later, alright?”

Jisung is confused but nods slowly, “Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Jisung watches as his leader saves everything on his computer without his usual attention to detail, scrambling out of his chair after Xiang as she walks back out of the room. He blinks after him confusedly, rolling his eyes before packing up his laptop to return to his own bedroom.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After taking a bus to Han River and walking along the riverside for about five minutes in silence, Xiang is still struggling with beginning to lay it all out for Chan. She squeezes the linings of her jacket pockets, the joints of her fingers aching from the strength behind it.

“Do you want to sit?” Chan asks, pointing toward a bench they’re approaching.

“Not really.”

“Okay.”

Xiang takes a deep breath in. She breathes it out slowly. She relaxes her hands in her pockets.

“I have an eating disorder.”

Chan wishes he could say that her admitting that makes everything fall into place. That he can say he’s noticed her acting strange. That he can admit he’s been worried about her weight loss. But he can’t. Because he didn’t notice those things. He’s aware of her weight loss (she‘s trended on Naver a few times because of her light weight) but he never thought of it as the outcome of something terrible. Dammit, he should have.

“Y-You do?” he stammers.

“Yeah. It probably started when our manager told me the company wanted me to lose weight. I don’t blame him, I really don’t. He was just doing his job. But... it got me thinking and I decided to eat less and work out more and that’s where it all started. It wasn’t that bad to begin with. I had control of what I was doing and it was like being in a diet. I’ve never been the most mentally sound person; I have clinically diagnosed anxiety, depression, and depersonalization but that’s a whole other can of worms.”

Now that she’s started, it’s easier to lay it all out.

“After I decided to eat less, I started skipping meals. In my mind it made sense. To lose weight, eat less. So I did. I started lying to you and the others about eating, saying I had when I hadn’t or that I wasn’t hungry when I was. It went on like that for a while, just not eating and working out a lot more. But I felt so guilty when I did eat. When I couldn’t avoid it.

“So I started making myself throw up. It all piled on top of each other and I barely ever ate and kept it down. I probably started eating a meal or two every three or four days. For a while that’s what I did. I lost so much weight. It was so unhealthy. I weighed myself before we left for tour in America and I was 37.6 kilograms.

“I felt like I was going to pass out during the entire performance in New York. I only woke up at six in the evening the next day. I was scared that the next time I went to sleep, I wouldn’t wake up. That my body would just give out on me. So I went and ate pizza with the younger boys. I started eating at least once a day because I had to do my job. I still didn’t eat enough but... it was something.

“And that should have been good. I should have been proud of myself for starting to take care of myself but I wasn’t. I hated myself for eating. I started gaining weight. I realized one night that what I thought I had control of I didn’t because I can’t control how much I hate myself.

“I went out with Yeosu one night and I ate more than I had in such a long time. I felt so guilty and I started rambling to her about my problems. But I ran away before she could even respond. I tried to stop on my own because Yeosu is so amazing and so famous and she’s mentally fine. And I got a little better. But then the company asked for an update on our weights and they told me not to get heavy again.

“It felt like doing what was best for me wasn’t what I needed to do. Like maybe this is the cost of being who I am and doing what we do. I just spiraled and I got worse than I’d ever been. That’s when you found me. I hadn’t eaten in two days and I was so hungry but I couldn’t make myself keep what I’d eaten down. I don't know how to stop doing this to myself and I want to stop but I just can't.”

Xiang takes a breath, closing her eyes for a moment.

Chan is impressed with how well Xiang has handled her emotions while explaining everything to him. Simultaneously, his heart is aching from the story she has told him and how well she’s handled her emotions. Chan can’t help but wonder how many times she has felt like the world is crashing down around her and he was none the wiser.

“When did this start? When did our manager- When did the company say you should lose weight?”

“... Late June?”

Nine months. Nine months Xiang has been dealing with her eating disorder. And before that, anxiety, depression, and personalization. Chan has his own qualms with anxiety and depression occasionally but he’s not even sure what depersonalization is. But as Xiang said, that’s a whole other can of worms.

“It’s just-,” Xiang looks for the right words to continue. “I��ve developed so much self-hatred. I never feel good enough. I never feel pretty or talented. Even with the mess my mentality has always been, I used to be able to be content with the music I make or the performances I give. Now, I just hate everything about myself. I wish I could just deal with this on my own and I'm sorry I've dragged you into this mess. But believe me I won't hold it against you if you want to back out now-"

"Sophie.”

Chan steps in front of Xiang to face her.

“I don't know how to prove to you that I will always be here for you.”

It hurts more than he would have thought when she lets out a tiny, humorless breath of a laugh, disbelieving. She takes a deep breath and looks up at the overcast sky.

“I‘m so tired of everything.”

She closes her eyes.

“I just want it to stop.”

“It will,” Chan says. “And you’re not going to deal with this alone anymore.  Know why?"

When Xiang lowers her head, Chan can see she’s barely holding back tears. She gives a minuscule shake of her head.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Nearly two and a half years ago, Xiang stood in front of Chan in a recording studio. She’d come to tell Chan she should leave the group. He’d called her a quitter and wouldn’t let her walk out on the group.

“Why can’t you just let me do this?” she asked, not understanding how Chan can’t see the problems she’s causing.

“Because I’m not giving up on you,” he responded.

Xiang swallowed, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her. Chan stood and wrapped her in a hug.

“And I’m not gonna let you give up on me.”

Xiang hesitated but looped her arms around Chan.

“We’re in this together, understand?”

Xiang smiled and let her head rest on his shoulder.

“I understand.”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

“Because I'm not giving up on you."

At the riverside, Chan pulls Xiang into a hug, wrapping his arms securely around her shoulders.

“And I’m not letting you give up on me. We’re in this together, understand?”

Over two years later, Chan has kept his word. Before she’d started starving herself, before her mental state depleted further than it had ever been, he’d told her that they are a team and he won’t let her quit on him. And he’s kept to that.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On the plane ride home to South Korea from America, Chan had comforted Xiang when she’d been anxious and fearful during turbulence. She’d thought about Chan. What he’d done for her and how he’d treated her.

Despite her self-loathing and her anxiety. And the way she’s convinced herself she’ll never be good enough. Or how she can only ever feel pretty on an empty stomach, hunger clawing at her insides in a painful way she’s grown fond of. Amidst it all, being next to Chan makes her feel safe.  Chan makes her feel safe.  Safety is something Xiang has been having a hard time finding for months now.

She realizes that if she could, she would never leave his side.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Here, beside Han River in Chan’s arms, she feels safe. She feels... loved. And the idea- the fact that Chan cares for her and has been by her side, even unknowingly, through all of this brings her to tears.

Xiang buries her face in Chan’s shoulder and wraps her arms tightly around him, crying hard into the material of his jacket. And Chan lets her. He holds her tighter against him and lets her cry, a hand coming to cradle the back of her head comfortingly. She’s safe here. She’s safe with Chan.

And she realizes that if she could, she would never leave his side.

[kim-chann]

--- Order Instructions ;; Hello! May I ask for a jujutsu kaisen matchup, please?

I'm female, bi, Aquarius sun/ Scorpio moon/ Sagittarius rising.

I'm 1,59 m tall, long, blonde hair, pale skin, grey-blue eyes and wear glasses, I'm chubby.

I’m reserved, introverted, really shy, anxious and have low self-esteem. I'm very private. I don’t like crowds. I can be distant and very quiet. I’m very cautious around others. I like joking around though, once comfortable. Chaotic neutral. I’m probably the weird one in my friend group,but I’m rather calm. I daydream a lot. I like teasing my friends and flirting with them playfully. I tend to be sarcastic, ironic, kind of blunt. My sense of humor is slightly dark, dry and often silly or exaggerated. I‘m open minded and understanding.

I need time for myself to recharge. I hate to be late and hate to wait, am mostly organised. I like to watch movies (often horror, but I can get a bit spooked), read books , listen to music and play games occasionally. I also like doing macrame! I love animals, especially cats.

I hope this is okay😅❤

Thank you! Stay healthy, happy and hydrated! 💞💕

Also quick question: what are your favorite pastries?😋

                                                        -- @geheimversteck

༺ Chef Note: Thank you for ordering! Once again, sorry that this took so long for me to write. I hope that you come again soon, and enjoy this order! Also, my favorite pastries are cookies 👀💕

I match you up with . . . 

                                                         Megumi Fushiguro | 伏黒恵 !!!

☉Honestly, I can see you and Megumi just being best friends before he realises that his feelings are more than he thought 

☉ Megumi would feel a sense of comfort just being around you because he knows you, and you know him. Usually he has a sense of discomfort (or has his guard up) when meeting someone, but when he met you he just felt more natural to be open. It’s a weird and foreign feeling to him. (Megumi, it’s called meeting your soul mate 👀💕)

☉Megumi doesn’t overlook the fact that you’re passive to one’s eye and he takes a role to be protective of you and makes sure that you’re comfortable in every way possible. 

☉Whether it’s a crowd, he’ll offer you to hold his hand, talk for you, order for you, and just confront the people who make you uncomfortable.

☉Once Megumi learns that you grew more comfortable to him for spouting out a jokes or two, expect him to share you a rare smile. Or even better, a chuckle!

☉Megumi really appreciates your calm, openminded, and understanding character, because Megumi said “as long as that person who’s compassionate,” then he don’t want anything else

☉ Sometimes Megumi catches you day dreaming and interrupts you with an, “Oi,” or he will sit in front of you to make you pay attention to him. 

☉ He doesn’t know how you can day dream so fast and easily. Sure, he can does day dream too, but he doesn’t do it frequently because he’s always on guard. He finds that interesting about you.

☉ Gosh, when you’re comfortable with Megumi and tease him and even flirt with him, he’d be caught so off guard, he wouldn’t even know if you were joking or not. But the way that his cheeks flare up and his eye brows narrowing just proves that your words affect him quite a lot. 

☉ Megumi finds humour in your sarcastic, ironic, and blunt attitude. He doesn’t know why but when you make a comment about something with the overseen attitude, it just makes him want to laugh. 

☉ He doesn’t really have a sense of humour, and you’d have to explain a joke every few often because one; it either flies over his head, or two; he just doesn’t find humour in it. But if you find it funny, then I guess that it’s funny.

☉ Megumi is a sweet boy and would love you to take you to coffee dates occasionally. It usually happens in the morning, and after a quick share of drinks, he’d ask if you want to go somewhere. 

☉ Quality time is Megumi’s thing and he wants you to know that his efforts mean that he loves you for who you are and is appreciative for you just being there for him. 

☉ Once Megumi gets very comfortable around with you, he’d lean his head on your head or your shoulder to rest. It’s a bit ticklish because of his hair, and it’s sort of weird seeing his hair in your vision often lol. So push it back a bit. Don’t tell Megumi though, because he’ll get hella embarrassed. 

☉ Overall, he’s a pretty boy and a good significant other, cherish this boy! 💕

༺ Chef Note: Thank you for coming around! Sorry if they’re little to a lot of grammar mistakes, I’ve been super lazy to fix it lmao

[morgan-macguire]

A Short Walk In A Pretty Town

Sean Macguire x reader (platonic)

Summary: Reader is one of the youngest memebers of the Van Der Linde gang. For some reason, Sean decided to take her under his wing and show her the ropes. Despite Arthur telling him to leave you behind, Sean brought you along to Rhodes with Micah and Bill.

Warnings: this takes place during the Sean mission, u kno, THE MISSION so basically almost everything that happens there, spoilers, tears, swearing

A/n: eeeeeeee this is long but I worked really hard on it. I know it’s not the best, but I really really hope you like it 

masterlist

not my gif

“Oh shut yer mouth you old sack of corn!” Sean rolled his eyes at Micah, turning away from the greasy man.

“Watch it, boy.” Micah snapped, clenching his hands into fists. Sean looked at you and let out a short laugh.

“I’m shaking in me britches.”

Micah turned away from the two of you with an exaggerated huff just as the sound of hooves beating the ground neared Rhodes.

“Been waiting for you, Arthur!” Micah stood up, stepping towards Arthur like he was some hot shot.

“What is the kid doing here?” Arthur completely ignored Micah, full attention on Sean. He gestured to you and brought his hands up to his hips.

“Well, she wanted to come along! How’s she going to learn the ropes if we never let her get some action, huh, English?”

Arthur raised his eyebrows, sending Sean an incredulous look. He looked over to you, lips sealed in a tight and frustrated line. He knew you’d have something to say, so he waited for you to cut in.

Your arms slowly came to cross across your chest as you began your plead.

“Yeah! And I’m not even that young, Arthur. Lenny is barely a year older than I am.”

“Well, you’re still a kid.”

“Didn’t you meet Dutch when you were 13?” Both you and Sean smirked. You had him now.

Arthur brushed you off, shaking his head and turning his attention back to the Irish fool.

“This could go real bad real quick, boy.”

“Ah you worry too much, old man.”

“No,” Arthur seemed genuinely offended, “You’re just careless, boy, and yer a poor shot. You can risk you neck all you want to, but you can’t risk her’s.”

Arthur moved to turn away from Sean but couldn’t go far before Sean was nearly on top of him. Sean faked a gasp, bringing his right hand up to his heart. He puffed his chest out and stood up straight, beginning his oath.

“Don’t you worry, English. I won’t let her out of my sight. She’ll-“

“I’ll watch out for Sean, Arthur.” you interrupted. Arthur cracked a grin as he nodded.

“Good, he’s gonna need it.”

Sean rolled his eyes, letting out the most exhausted groan you’d ever heard.

“I shoulda known you two’d team up against me. Boy was I a fucking fool.” He dramatically turned around, dropping his shoulders unnecessarily low. “Go on home, y/n. I can’t stand the two of you together. Acting the maggot, you are. I’ll never win!”

You caught Arthur’s confused look before shaking your head. 

“No way, MacGuire, you brought me along, now you’re stuck with me.” You declared. This earned a chesty laugh from Arthur, and he nodded. Sean immediately stood up straight and exchanged a childish grin with you.  

“So it’s settled then, yeah, English? Y/n is staying.”

Arthur groaned, realizing that was just a ploy. 

“Damn the both of you.”

You were going to crack a joke, but Bill cut in before you were able to. He approached your trio, gesturing to Micah and to the rest of the town.

“If you’re all done chatting, we have a job to do.”

“Alright, alright. Don’t get your britches in a bunch, Williamson.” Sean laughed, moving to follow Arthur. Bill bit back a retort, settling on sending Sean a death glare.

The five of you walked through Rhodes slowly, engaging in light conversation. All of you felt that something was off, but no one bothered to focus on the feeling too much. It was probably nothing.

You had gotten halfway through the town when a slight movement on top of the sheriffs office caught your attention. It vaguely resembled a head ducking down but you passed it off as a bird.

The town was eerily quiet as you walked through with Arthur, Sean, Bill, and Micah. The streets should have been alive with a wide variety of people roaming and going about their day. Today, it was almost completely empty. The few men who were walking through the streets all suspiciously turned and watched your group move, shuffling deeper into alleyways. You zoned back in to the conversation when Sean spun around to face the group. He had made his way to the front like he knew where he was going, walking without a care in the world.

“I could’ve told you tha-“ Sean had spun around, completely facing away from the sheriffs office as the shadow you noticed previously morphed into a figure of a man. A man with a gun pointing straight at the Irishman’s head. Everything in your vision went white as pure adrenaline coursed through every vein. You couldn’t feel your body moving, but soon enough it connected with Sean’s. You heard a gunshot, and a shout tore through your throat as the two of you hit the ground.

The next few moments were a blur, it felt as though you were on autopilot, watching your hands drag Sean’s body out of the middle of the road while Arthur, Bill, and Micah drew their weapons out and took cover. Your group had found yourself in the middle of a war zone.

When the adrenaline rush wore off, you were clutching Sean in your arms back behind the general store.

“Holy fuckin’ hell, y/n! What the fuck just happened? Have we died?” His shocked eyes stared up at yours, seeming greener and wider than ever. Sean panted, frantically looking around without noticing the new hole that was in his shoulder.

“I-I don’t know. I don’t think so. Not yet, at least. Those people just came out of nowhere.” You shouted over the gunshots, loosening your grip on his jacket.

“It was a fuckin set up! Micah and Bill nearly got us all a one way ticket into the ground, the bastards. Are you okay?”

“I think so. Let me look at your shoulder.”

“Why?”

You yanked his jacket away as gently as you could before tearing the shoulder off of his shirt. The second Sean’s eyes landed on the angry red flesh of his shoulder, the color drained from his face. Realization washed over him like a wave, and his features suddenly contorted in agony.

You bunched up his jacket in order to wipe some of the blood away, much to Sean’s dismay. He winced, but held his tongue for once. “Looks like just a flesh wound, it’s not too deep, but I’m no doctor. We have to get it treated fast or you’ll get a nasty infection.” You had to restrain yourself from gagging at the sight of the crimson-coated flesh.

Trying to distract himself from the pain in his arm as much as he could, Sean lifted his non-injured arm to anxiously grab a hold of the top of his head. His face morphed into pure horror as he frantically looked around the two of you.

“Oh no!” He cried out, turning back to look at where your group had fled from, grimacing at the movement of his shoulder.

“What’s wrong?!” Your hands shot away from his arm, fearing you’d accidentally hurt him.

“I’ve lost me hat!” He cried, pointing to the center of town. You deadpanned, taking a moment to compose yourself before speaking.

“Sean, you’ve been shot.”

“Who gives a damn? I love that hat!”

You rolled your eyes. “I’ll get you a new hat. Let’s just get the bleeding stopped.”

Sean nodded, mentally preparing himself for the pain. You wrapped part of Sean’s jacket around his shoulder, gently pressing down to slow the bleeding. Sean muttered a few words you’d never repeat to Jack and tried to keep his eyes away from your hands. You tied the jacket around his wound as best you could, stomach churning at the blood staining your fingers.

“We’ve got to get to Arthur. Can you walk?” You asked.

“I’m kind of seein double right now, but what’s new?” He laughed anxiously, steadying himself on his legs. “Let me have a gun. I’ve lost my own.”

“Is this really the best time for jokes?”

Sean deadpanned, “It’s always a good time for jokes.”

“You’re gonna bleed out if we don’t get somewhere safe soon.”

“You think a bullet can kill me? I’m shocked, y/n. I truly am.” Sean‘s laugh was unenergetic, causing your heartbeat to speed up. His voice was starting to waver. 

“Let’s just get to the boys.”

You wrapped his good arm around your shoulder and your arm around his waist, handing him a small pistol to use.

The two of you hadn’t even gotten three yards out when a Gray stepped out of an alleyway in front of you. He held up his gun but Sean drew your pistol and shot him square in the chest before the man could fire. Even Sean seemed taken back by his precise aim. His jaw dropped and he let out an incredulous laugh. “Did ya see that, y/n? I wish Arthur could have seen that!”

“How on earth are you a better shot seeing double than when you’re not bleeding out?”

“I‘m not that bad.” He sent you a lopsided grin.

“Oh yes you are, boy. We’ll tell Arthur all about it when we see him, though he probably won’t believe us. Just hold on for a little bit longer, okay?”

—

As soon as Arthur lost sight of the two of you, a pit began to form in his stomach.

He should have known this was a set up. He picked up on your anxious glances while strolling through the town, and knew that you all should have retreated then and there. He knew something was off, he should have listened to his gut.

Now, you and Sean were off who knows where probably being filled with bullet holes. Arthur watched you drag Sean out of the fire zone after Sean was shot, and he only feared the worst for you. As he fought his way through the town, he called out for you and Sean, receiving no response. He was sure he’d stumble across two familiar bodies any moment now. You two were too young to die. Far too young.

Arthur pushed back all of his nasty thoughts, remembering how decent of a team the two of you were. While neither of you possessed the best aiming, combat, hiding, stealth, or navigational skills, you could handle yourselves just fine. You two could get away from the danger and to safety. Probably. If there was one thing Sean MacGuire was good at, it was weaseling himself out of sticky situations.

When Arthur spotted you attempting to cross the street, he felt relief flush through him, only to be replaced by dread not long after as he recognized Sean’s body alongside yours, slumped over and nearly motionless.

“Ah shit, here we go again.”

—

“How are you holding up, Sean?” He was getting heavier with every step.

“Me legs feel like jelly.” He slurred. Seans legs gave way and he became dead weight, dragging you into the dirt. You called out his name, hovering over him and tapping his pale cheeks.

“Get up Sean! Get back up.” You got to your feet quickly, trying to lift your friend up with you. “I can’t do this on my own. Don’t leave me like this.” Your eyes stung with tears.

Sean was unresponsive, but still breathing. He had to make it. He couldn’t die. Not now. Not here.

You held on to Sean, doing your best to drag him out of the open. As you struggled with his weight, you wondered what happened to the super-human strength you possessed only a few minutes earlier when the chaos had begun. You didn’t even notice his weight before with the adrenaline and terror coursing through your body. Now, Sean seemed to weigh more than Brown Jack. Your arms screamed for you to let him go, but you persisted.

Arthur spotted you from the gunsmith. He cleared a pathway for him to come help, shouting for Bill and Micah to cover him.

Simultaneously, an unfamiliar Gray approached you, the barrel of his rifle aimed straight between your teary eyes.

Before he could end your life, a fresh bullet hole appeared in his head, and he collapsed to the ground. Looking over to the source of the bullet, you almost cried out in relief. Arthur stood a few feet away, rushing over and relieving you of Sean. He slung your friend over his shoulder like he weighed nothing and dragged you behind the gunsmith.

“Get him back to camp quick as you can. Go get yer horse.” Arthur ordered. You whistled for your Mare, receiving an anxious whinny in the distance as she reluctantly approached the gunfire.

“We have to get him to a doctor! He’ll die! W-we can get to Valentine quickly if we ride fast.”

“We can’t take him into a town.”

“Why not?” You choked out, hands trembling as you fumbled to gather the reins to your horse.

“After what just happened, the law is going to be hot on our tails. He’ll go straight to a noose.“

Your breath hitched in your throat. It was so hard to breathe and no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t clear the unthinkable thoughts from your mind. Sean could die. You could loose your best friend.

“Hey,” Arthur reached out to grasp your shoulder, “He’s gonna be alright, ya hear? Grimshaw’ll fix him up. I promise.”

You nodded, wiping your face as Arthur hoisted Sean onto your horse.

“Ride as fast as you can, kid. I’ll meet you there.” Arthur helped you jump up on your horse and watched you ride off before turning towards Micah and the sheriffs office.

—

The ride back to camp was miserable. You honestly thought you were carrying a dead man for the majority of it. Sean sagged limply against your front, barely staying on your horse. Your vision was fuzzy, and you couldn’t stop your hands from shaking, but you pushed your beloved horse harder than ever before. She must have had some kind of idea how bad the situation really was, because she sped towards camp without so much as a complaint.

Everything seemed a blur when you finally reached Clemens Point. You came in shouting what felt like mumbo-jumbo, trying to get someone’s attention. It was a wonder anyone understood what you were saying. You were so shaken that you couldn’t think to control your volume, nearly catching the attention of everyone in Lemoyne. Charles was the first one to you, he was lifting Sean off of your horse and heading towards Grimshaw before you were even able to completely stop.

Dutch was by your side next, asking you a dozen questions about what had happened and where the others were, none of which you were able to respond to. Your hands were shaking and every word came out a stuttered mess. Hosea halted Dutch’s frantic questions and led you to wash the blood off of your hands. He didn’t ask any questions about what had happened, instead focusing on allowing you to calm down first.

After allowing you to take a breather, Hosea began gently coaxing out answers from you. Once you’d gotten your head in order, you were able to explain to him what happened and where Arthur was as best you could. Hosea didn’t push, allowing you to talk at your own pace and take frequent breaks. He had gone to brief Dutch on the situation when you were finished.

Hosea didn’t return for quite some time, leaving you alone to sort through your thoughts. You figured an hour or so had passed before he returned to you.

“Come now, dear girl.” Hosea motioned for you to follow him. You stood silently, trailing behind the old man. He led you to Grimshaw’s tent. Hosea rubbed your shoulder slightly, before gently nudging you towards the tent.

Someone had set up makeshift walls for privacy out of a few old tarps. They were lazily draped over some rickety wooden frame, just well enough to shield you from what lied inside. It was eerily quiet by the tent. Terrified of what you might be walking into, you turned back to face Hosea. You nearly high tailed it out of camp but he shook his head, sending you a comforting look.

“It’ll be alright.”

Your fingers trembled as they extended to peel back the rough material while your heart nearly beat out of your chest. As it pounded relentlessly against your rib cage, your throat started to close up. A rising feeling of panic overtook your body, but you pushed it down as much as you could. You could barely keep your eyes open as you took a step inside, horrified of what you might be walking into. You peeled your eyes open, no longer being able to handle the thought of not knowing.

Sean looked dead. He was lying down on an old cot looking paler than ever. Blood soaked the side of his shirt, which had been discarded along with his jacket into a messy heap on the floor. You released an anguished exhale, nearly dropping to your knees at the sight. Before you could fall, a pair of bright green eyes opened up to gleam at you.

You gasped, one hand flying up to cover your mouth. 

The Irishman groaned before sending you a goofy grin.

“You owe me a hat.”

[cynicalqueenjadedprincess]

Blind Date

WORD COUNT: 2186 WARNINGS: Swearing, fluff PAIRINGS: Roommate!Anna x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader

BLIND DATE

 You just got home from work and you walk into the kitchen to put your bag down. You scan through the mail you picked up from the box. You toss aside the bills and flip through the junk mail. Suddenly, your roommate, Anna, comes rushing into your apartment. She runs up to you with a huge smile on her face. She’s so excited she looks like she might burst. You can’t help but laugh at her actions.

Curious, you ask her, “What’s up with you?”

She hesitates answering, “Okay, so don’t get mad and don’t kill me.”

“When you say shit like that you know that I’m more than likely going to do just that depending on what you say next. Right?” You laugh, but you’re a little nervous at what she’s going to tell you.

“Yes?”

“Good. I just wanted to make sure we were clear on that.”

Knowing you’re really not going to like what she says, “I kind of… sort of… set you up on a blind date…. Again.”

You’re surprised and a little angry, “Anna, no. No way. Not happening, not again.”

“Come on, Y/N, please? I promise you this guy is different. He’s totally great, you’ll really like him, I swear.” She begs you.

“I’m not saying yes, but what does this one do?”

“Well… He’s kind of a…”

You’re feeling really anxious now, “Kind of a… what?”

“Kind of a superhero.”

“No! No more! You promised me you’d stop trying to set me up. Especially with so called superheroes.”

She begs, “I know I promised but I couldn’t resist. He’s a total sweetheart and He’d be perfect for you. I just can’t believe that I never thought about him with you before.”

“No way, Anna. You set me up with the weirdest fucking guys, nope, not doing it again. Never, ever, again!”

“Please, Y/N?”

“Fuck that shit! No!”

“This one is different he actually is a good guy.”

“No fucking way! I’m done… I‘m not dating anymore superheroes. Remember what happened the last time? That guy nearly burned down the entire restaurant because he lit a napkin on fire and couldn’t put it out. How about the time before that? That one took off halfway through dinner wanting to show off how fast he really was. He never did come back and he left me to pay for everything. I don’t mind footing the bill but not when you order, like, half the menu. Oh, or my personal favorite, the guy before “Dine ‘N’ Dash”, the one who continuously referred to himself in the third person as ‘Star Lord.’ Seriously, what kind of name is ‘Star Lord’ and if that wasn’t bad enough, I caught him trying to steal my wallet because his pet Raccoon needed it. Like, really, who does that? No way!… I’m so done with superheroes… I have an idea, if you think this guy is so great, you go out with him.”

Anna tries really hard not to laugh. She tries to be serious.

“He’s not really my type. He’s great and all, and he’s a little old fashioned, which is super sweet and totally rare. He’s more your type. Just one date, just one. It took a lot to convince him to agree. Look I swear, if you just do this for me, I will never, ever, ever, ask you for anything ever again. And I will never meddle in your love life again.”

You sigh heavily, “You said that the last time…”

Anna starts to pretend pout, “Pretty, pretty, please… With a cherry on top? This time I’m absolutely sure this one you won’t regret. Just say yes.”

“You’re really pathetic you know that?” She nods and you groan, “Why do I even put up with you?”

“Because you love me and if you didn’t no one else would. Did I mention, it’s because you love me?”

You take a deep breath and exhale sharply, you cave, “Fine, but I am so serious, Anna, this is absolutely, positively the very last time you are ever going to do this to me. If this turns out to be a total disaster or it just doesn’t work out, that’s it. No more set ups. Got it?”

Anna squeals with joy and hugs you, “Oh my God, I love you. Thank you! You really are the best. And I’m not just saying that.”

“Uh huh… So when is this date?”

“Tonight at seven.” She says, so nonchalantly.

“ANNA, what the fuck! Are you fucking kidding me?” You look at the time, it’s five thirty, and thankfully you still have time to get ready. “You are so lucky…”

She smiles innocently at you. You quickly run into the bathroom and have the quickest shower you think you’ve ever have had. Once you’re done you come out of the bathroom towel barely wrapped around you as you run into your room to get ready. You first towel dry, then brush and blow dry your hair. Your makeup a nice mix of a black and brown smoky eye that isn’t too heavy, and just a little bit of color on your lips. You practically thrown on a matching black bra and panty set. You look in your closet and have no idea what to wear.

“So am I supposed to be meeting him somewhere?” You yell to Anna from your room.

“No he’s going to come pick you up.”

“Tell me about him.”

“He’s tall, handsome, and very muscular. He doesn’t date much because of his job. He’s smart, funny, he might come off as a little shy at first but don’t let that stop you from talking to him.”

“Does he have a name?”

She laughs, “Oh course he does, it’s Steve.”

“I have no idea what to wear.”

“Why not that black dress, you the one with the lace back that you bought but still haven’t worn?”

You locate the dress in your closet, you look at on the hanger and decide to put it on. You’re first reaction is surprise because it still fits. You check yourself out in the mirror and admire yourself for a moment. The slightly low cut, form fitting, but not overly tight, dress comes just slightly above the knees with lace back and ¾ sleeves, actually looks perfect. You search your closet floor for the right pair of shoes. You find a pair of beige stilettos, you put them on and leave your bedroom. Anna is still in the kitchen waiting for to come out.

“So what do you think?”

“You look great. I think Steve will like it too.” Just as she finishes her sentence, there’s a knock on the door. “Right on time.”

“I’m beginning to think you’re more excited about this than I am.”

“Just go and answer the door.”

You still can’t believe that you agreed to do this especially with how it was just sprung on you. You open the door expecting some guy that just exude loser, but you’re completely surprised to find that Anna wasn’t lying when she said he was handsome. And tall. The blonde haired, blue eyed man, in a button down shirt and khaki pants stands in front of you with a small bouquet of wild flowers, smiles at you.

“You must be, Y/N. I’m Steve. Anna’s told me so much about you.” He hands you the flowers, “I wasn’t sure what kind of flowers you liked or even if you like flowers, but these are for you.”

Taking them, you say, “Thank you, you’re beaut… I mean they’re beautiful.”

You feel the heat of embarrassment start to flush your face, and you expect Steve to make some kind of comment but he says nothing.

“Are you ready to go?”

“Yes. Let me just grab my purse.” You quickly go into the kitchen and grab your purse off the counter where you left it. You look at Anna and whisper to her, “Okay you could have given me some kind of a heads up that you set me up on a date with Captain fucking America.”

“I didn’t want to freak you out. Now go have fun.”

You smile at her and walk out the front door closing it behind you.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I kind of planned our date.”

“No not at all. Actually I find it kind of refreshing, normally that’s left to me. So, um, if you don’t mind me asking, what have you planned?”

He opens the car door for you, he walks around and then gets into the driver’s seat. “I thought it would be nice to start with dinner, at a rather exclusive spot. One where I can guarantee no one will bother us.”

“Sounds interesting, and where is this place?”

“On top of the Avengers Tower. I managed to convince Tony to get everyone to leave for the evening. So we’ll have the whole place to ourselves.” You raise an eyebrow at him suspiciously, “Not for anything like that, I just thought it might be nice not to have distractions… This is coming out all wrong.”

You can’t help yourself, you start laughing.

“I’m sorry. I know what you meant. That’s a very sweet gesture.”

The rest of the car ride to the tower was mostly silent, with a few words and laughs in between the silence. Once you arrive at the tower he gets out of the car and walks over to your side, he then opens the door for you and extends his hand helping you out. The two of you walk inside and head for the elevators. As soon as the doors open you step inside. The ride up takes no time at all considering how many floors it has to climb to get to the top. You step out of the elevators and into a large room, with a bar off to one side of the room and large floor to ceiling windows that look out onto a terrace. Steve leads you outside. Waiting for you is a table for two. You’re in awe of the effort Steve has gone through, especially for a blind date.

You look away from the table for a second and that’s when you really see it. New York. The whole city all lit up. It takes your breath away. Steve clears his throat as he pulls out the chair for you. You sit as he pushes it back in. He then sits down across from you.

“What do you think so far?”

“It’s amazing. Maybe borderline over the top. But completely amazing… So can I ask, how do you adjust to all this?”

Not sure he understands the question, “Adjust to what? Life in the tower?”

“No I mean going from 1945 to now.” He looks away from you, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

“It’s okay. Sometimes I have to remember that things have changed. That home isn’t home anymore. Learning about everything I missed has been interesting. I think I’m still technically adjusting, however, not everything is terrible… Tell me about you.”

“Oh my least favorite subject… There isn’t really much to tell. I’m an army brat, my dad was a Captain in the Army. We moved around lot so I can understand how hard adjusting can be. Though missing 70 years is a lot different than moving from state to state or from one country to another. ”After high school I found a home in DC in the political sector. Though that didn’t last as long as I thought it would. Then I moved out here and I haven’t left, since.”

You both finish dinner, and head back inside the tower. Steve moves closer to you, your heart starts to race a little, he leans down and kisses you on the lips. He starts to pull away but you throw your arms around his neck and pull him back. You firmly plant your lips against his.

Before anything more can happen the elevator doors open and Tony Stark walks in.

“Cap.”

“Tony.” Steve says trying not to sound irritated.

Tony extends his hand to you, “Tony Stark. You are?”

You feel a little embarrassed but manage to say, “I’m Y/N.”

“Don’t mind me. Go back to whatever it was you were doing.”

You look at Steve and say, “I should go. I have an early shift tomorrow. I had a great time, maybe next time it’ll be a longer date.”

Steve smiles, he asks, “You want there to be another one?” You nod. You exchange numbers. He continues, “I can give you ride back to your place if you like?”

“It’s okay. I’ll just catch a cab. Thank you for dinner, it was lovely.”

You kiss Steve again and step into the elevator.

When the doors have closed Steve glares at Tony.

“She seems nice.” Tony says with a smirk.

Steve rolls his eyes and walks away leaving Tony alone in the room.

“What? Was it something I said?” is Tony’s response to Steve walking away.

[jujubieberbae]

Chapter 2 - Sorry

“Is that even Legal?” ~ Dylan Russo

The rattling of the door shutting behind me had me jumping at the sudden sound. I don’t like loud noises. But that didn’t stop my nurse - who I had learnt her name to be Nurse Hailey - from looping her arm protectively through mine as she began leading me into the CC.

My nerves settled at this - the realisation that In a few minutes, I was about to be presented in front many people. That terrified me. The shy girl inside shaking with fear.

My hand became clammy, and although my blood ran cold through my vain’s, a layer of sweat coated my forehead. “Don’t worry.” Hailey assured from besides me. She must have noticed my gradually tensing posture. “You’ll get along with everyone just fine. They’re all in the same boat as you.”

“I‘m not afraid that I won’t get along with anyone.” I stated. “I’m afraid of being judged.”

“Judged?” Hailey wondered. “No ones going to judge you. Trust me.”

But I didn’t believe her. Why force myself to believe something that wasn’t true? No matter what people say - you’ll always be judged. That’s just the way the world is. A cruel place.

And although there is light out there - somewhere - wherever that may be, my depression is the clouds that block me from that light, leaving me with a cold - dim world surrounded by loneliness.

But soon enough, I was standing by a door. Wooden unlike all the others. This one wasn’t locked either - only proving the ‘community’ aspect further. Hailey looked down on me, encouraging me to go forth, and with a sigh, I obliged.

The door creaked but only slightly as I pushed on it’s hinges, swinging open to reveal a well decorated and rather welcoming room filled with people all wearing the same sweatpants as myself.

Once again - unlike the rest of the ward - this room had a happier vibe to it. Decorated in bright, more vibrant colours. And If it wasn’t for the many depressed patience around - you wouldn’t be able to tell this room belonged to a rehab.

“So this is the CC. You might wanna get comfy cause you’ll be spending a lot of time in here.” Hailey commented.

My eyes wandered around the large room, as I took small, timid steps into the room. No one had seemed to notice me yet - or rather they just didn’t care about my presence. Either one was fine, just as long as I had my space.

A couple nicely kept couches were placed in the centre of the room, surrounding a small danky T.V with minimal wear and tear. And around that were several tables, currently occupied by nurses and patients. People scattered around sitting the floor, some with stress balls, other looking as if they were repeating some mental exercises for there depression, some even drawing for that matter!

The room was lit well with a lot of natural lighting, giving this place a warm vibe. It honestly calmed me.

“I’m going to be over there with the other nurses, call me if you need anything.” Hailey chirped before strutting over to a crowd of pretty nurses just like herself.

My eyes swung back to look at Hailey in panic, hoping to plead her not to leave me alone in this room but before I could get a word out, she had already left. Great.

My gaze returned to the room before me, a much heavy heated weight settling over me. Anxiety was a common side effect of depression, and this was making me anxious. At this point, people had begun noticing me - obviously vaving something to with me being ‘the new girl’ and all.

Slowly, I crept forward, eyes darting around the crowds of curious, prying eyes until I finally reached the caramel coloured lounge, awkwardly placing myself over top the seat besides a girl with jet black hair.

It was quiet from then on as I focused my attention as best to my ability towards the Television set. On played an old episode of what appeared to be friends. I never was a TV fan, but I guess it’ll make do for now.

“Your the new girl?”

My eyes flickered away from the glary screen towards the source of the voice. The girl sitting besides me looking on with sweet, but drained eyes.

“Yeah.” I squeaked out. “I just got here today.”

“Oh. I remember my first day. I was terrified. It sucks - don’t it?”

“Mhmm.” I nodded with a sigh.

The girl stopped talking for a second, eyes set on the television before looking back at me with a hint of a smile. “My names Kylie - and that’s my friend Jaden.”

My eyes fell to the boy besides her. A dark boy with longer, light brown hair slicked over to the side. He was tall and lanky but cute for a boy with depression. And he hid it well.

“Hi.” I mumbled.

The boy smiled and waved.

“So, you got any sessions today? Who are your doctors?”

“Um, I heard my nurse saying that I had...Dr Hill-”

But the girl interrupted before I could finish. “Ooo.” She cringed. “She’s mean, i’d watch out for her. I had my mother transfer me to a new therapist after her. I didn’t like her.”

“Really?” I questioned. If I wasn’t worried before, I sure was now.

“Yeah.” she nodded with a sigh. “Piece of advice, don’t mention anything on children. Unless you wanna hear her ramble about her miscarriage with her no good ex boyfriend for an hour.”

My eyes widened, already dreading my session with her in a few hours. “Good to know.”

“Who else.”

“Nurse Hailey also mentioned something about a Dr Martin on the way here.” I informed the intrigued girl.

Kylie smiled, whipping her long hair over her shoulder. It wasn’t too enthusiastic but it was enough to show that she obviously didn’t mind Dr Martin.“Dr Martins nice. I had him for my first semester here. I wish I stayed with him but It’s not really my choice. You’ll like him.”

“I have him. He gives us candy at the end of each session” Jaden suddenly imputed from beside me. His voice was a lot quieter then I had imagined. he seemed emotionally drained - just like myself.

“And lastly - I have Dr Bieber.”

“Damn! Really!” Kylie yelled - but it was still rather quiet. She seemed like one of the happier patients. Either her depression isn’t as severe or she’s been here long enough to have seen some progress. Which I doubt.

“I wish I had doctor Bieber. He’s so hot.” she whispered. Noticeably, Jaden rolled his eyes from besides her.

“Some of his patients say he flirts with the girls as a self confidence exercise.” She smirked.

“Is that even legal?” I muttered.

“Who cares? But it’s only a rumour. Some girls here like to make shit up since there really isn’t anything better to do.”

“Yeah, but It’s not true.” Jaden added.

“How would you know?” Kylie’s eyebrows shot up, turning to look at her friend besides her.

“Because he’s a married man. He may be good looking but that doesn't mean he’s not faithful. I’ve spoken to him a few times - he talks very highly of his wife.”

“Whatever, he’s still hot.” Kylie deadpanned turning to face me again. “Your doctors aren’t too bad. I mean - you have Dr Hill but you got Dr Bieber to make up for that.”

“But don’t only the really severe patients get Dr Bieber?” Jaden wondered. My eyes widened. Really severe?! Am I really that bad.

Kylie spun corruptly to elbow the boy in his ribs causing Jaden to double over in pain. “Shh you imbecile! The nurses told everyone not to tell her that.”

“Oh yeah.” Jaden sighed before eyeing me pitifully. “Sorry.”

“Severe? Am I that bad?”

“Are you suicidal?” She questioned.

Instead of answering, I sighed, lifting the sleeves of my sweatshirt to show off my scars of previous attempt to end my life. Both teens were stunned, eyes wide with sorrow.

“I-I mean...I've thought about doing it but I’ve never actually tried.” Jaden exclaimed quietly. “Did it hurt when you did it?”

“Like a bitch.” I sighed. The memories of the moments when everything just became too hard had flooded back into my head, thoughts running through it wildly. I wish I had just dies that night. I wish my brother never walked in on me and called 911. Maybe that way I wouldn’t be here. Suffering this pain.

I had barely noticed the tears flooding my sockets until reality had hit me once more. I let out one least breath before using the sleeves of my shirt to wipe away the discarded ones running down my cheek before settling my gaze for the tiles on the floor.

These are the moments when I really just wanna be left alone. And right on time I guess, since at that moment Hailey approached with her arms intertwined in front of her and a solemn gaze on her gorgeous face.

“Y/N, sweat heart. It’s time for your first session.”

I looked up from the ground over to Hailey with puffy eyes. It took everything in me to swallow back the tears and nod my head. I stood from my seat, glancing back at the two behind me to send a small wave there way before following my nurse out of the CC room.

This was going to be a long semester.