#I genuinely want to kill myself
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I hope everyone who voted third party and said Harris and Trump were the same is happy with this turn out 🤗
#vent#i genuinely want to kill myself#this isnt a joke#like i deadass wanna end it all#hope yall are happy on your high horse
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Fuck I fucking hate people
#I’m a fake hater actually#I quite like people#but also like#I genuinely want to kill myself#and I feel like I’m giving off those signs#and no one cares lmaoooo#no one actually fucking cares#which fair tbh#I think I’m ignoring some of my friends depressive signs because like what am I meant to do#I’ll tell you I love you n I’m here for you#but that’s all I can do really#would love someone to tell me they love me and they’re here for me#without me saying it first#I think I’m better than everyone else#and also the worst#mental illness core
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so let’s get something straight: if i cover my ears because i cannot stand the sound of someone chewing, im being rude. so i don’t cover my ears and instead end up in tears, and im being dramatic and im an attention seeker. so i move away from whoever it is who is chewing, and im being disrespectful and making that person feel bad, so clearly im a horribly selfish person. so i blast music to drown out the sound of somebody chewing, but its rude to listen to music at the dinner table, so obviously i have no manners and im a horrible person. how can i win this???
#personal#vent#the first few times i had to move away because i couldn’t handle the sound‚ my parents yelled at me and i ended up in tears anyway#but genuinely there is no way to win this#there is no way to handle my own issues without being told that i’m a horrible person#i swear i have some form of misophonia because i seriously cannot hear chewing without wanting to kill that person and then myself#misophonia#neurodivergent#anyway i’m defs not neurotypical let’s just say that
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just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude
#im so fucking isnane about this podcast#ok notable reactions:#john.. Oh my god. It’s so insane to go back and hear how much he’s changed in the way he talks and reasons and treats arthur#i love you john doe malevolent#fav trans allegory ever!!!!!#definitely relate to him a normal amount (liar voice)#and then. S2. I really need to make that animatic with lonesome dreams#godddd i forgot how painful the ep18 divorce was#and then!!!! the canna mentions helping noel escape!!! completely forgot about that part#s3. oh my god. absolute fav season. soooo many crazy moments.#like coda??? “You want him back.” “I want him safe.” You want him baaack.” “I want him back”#KAYNE I FUCKING HATE THAT RAT BASTARD.NEED TO BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A ROCK BUT HES A FREAK AND HED ENJOY IT SO I CANT#piece od shit#and then 23/24??????? arthur’s happy cry-laugh???? dead#part 25. “I killed myself. For a voice in my head. Do you know how mad that sounds?” what if IIII killed myself#26. god. Then 27. And 28. Literally my fav season ever#followed closely by s4#ohhhh my god i forgot how hot the butcher is like genuinely#i completely forgot prelude somehow???? giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair the whole time#i need to be this homicidal gay irishman hes so hot oh my god#the 29 divorce. with the movie lmaoo#i need to draw them going on a night out and seeing a movie and getting dinner and drinks and dancing and (gets shot)#gooddddd i remember listening to 31 for the first time and being so fucking confused#PART 33. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS. OH MY GOD. BELLA SALTZMAN I COULD’VE TREATED YOU SO MUCH BETTER#34….. i can’t speak about 34 without barking and howling like a rabid dog#dog. Is that a butcher refere(gets shot for the third time)#NOELLLLLL MY DARLING WIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#this has just inspired me to keep writing hofth with ella tbh#lowkey don’t even get the obsession with oscar tho i can’t be talking#to each their own or whatever
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thinking about the way billy smiled when he saw that it was steve outside the byers and how quickly it all changed when he realised steve was lying to his face
#billy hargrove#billy: :)#steve: were you dropped too much as a child#dislike steve for a lot of things but that’s at the top of my list#all the times billy’s been lied to im going to kill myself#his mom neil max#and now steve#ripping my hair out i genuinely hate it here so much#i just wanted him to be happy for once#to be able to have a genuine connection with someone
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the flash is pissing me off so badly rn
#wednesday spoilers#like as a wally fan (ish) i like it fine#but every time bart appears and every time max talks i want to kill myself#might genuinely drop it from my pull list i am SO annoyed lol#like i gave it a chance enough is enough
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two reverse - adrienne lenker
#patrick is so strong because if my best friend yelled at me like that I'd kill myself on the spot#just saying#this didn't come out exactly how i wanted it to but capcut kept crashing so this is what we get#anyway#they make me sick#genuinely#like my stomach HURTS#screaming crying throwing up#also art looks like a literal angel in that scene where he's looking down at patrick wtf 🫤#challengers#patrick zweig#art donaldson#tashi duncan#challengers 2024#artrick#art donaldson x patrick zweig
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"you cannot take twink etho from my cold. dead. body."
#something i genuinely said out loud to myself#posted the pyramid to twitter cause they were taking about bear impulse#they agreed etho would be a twink#YOU CANT TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME!!!!#etho#ethoslab#it was genuinely healing hearing that#my pyramid is right idc idc#like im right#like i am#looked at the original post that set me off#still pisses me off bro#WHAT DO YOU MEAN GRIAN IS A TWIBNK/????#AND JOELS A HUNK????#how on EARTH is tango a twinkish bear???#do you WANT me to kill you???#youre begging for it#text
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admit it. you would have been me
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#rick prime#rick c137#??? whateve#DAMNNN it deleted all my tags lol#IM FREEEE I CAN FINALLY KILL MYSELF#THIS SHIT WAS SO HARD MAN. not worth it lolol#i wanted to do this concept already bc im insnae abt mirrors. but ep5 forced my hand#i always find it so interesting like… rick seeing himself not only in prime#but in all the ricks he meets (and kills)#i do imagine there were more than a few moments during his hunt for prime where he feared he was becoming him#chose this deisgn for rick bc i like it. and its like his main prime hunting era deisgn ig also. lol#DO NOT EVER LET ME DO A BG AGAIN. NOT WORTH IT#lol im just very bad at planning stuff out when it comes to stuff like this#but hopefully it looks ok. my brain is so fried i genuinely cannot tell#artsbotz
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had an acquaintance ask me why i don't just use ai writing to finish my book (it's not a book, it's a game, hanna) quicker and i just.
*inhale*
#ramblings.#look okay i kept my cool then but good lord#fuck off telling me to use ahit to finish a passion project faster#like for what?? what does me writing words for fun take away from??#sorry i'm not killing myself for a corporate job HANNA#i have hobbies. i have my blorbos and i'm gonna write my blorbos as slow as i want because they have to be personable and genuine#not some cranked out attempt at writing that ai does. ugh#anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk#just for this i'm gonna go erite. out of spite. and also inspiration.#angy is good motivation
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he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me he didnt groom me
#gaslighting myself rn#he would never do that#hes not bad#please dont let it be true please#i want to die#i wanna end it so bad#make it stop#someone please end this shit#idk how much longer i can handle it before i genuinely try to kill myself#this is fucking exhausting
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never not thinking about the path from 24 floors to how to exit a room. the shift from “twenty-four floors up in some hotel room feeling so low thinking of jumping soon” to “facedown on the pavement and on the way down it was painless”, and from “you don’t wanna die tonight” to “I want to live every bit of life I never want to waste it again” is something that can be so personal.
#solreefspeak#the maine#aghhhh.#it’s about going from “i guess i shouldn’t kill myself since my friends would be sad”#to genuinely wanting to live even though shit sucks sometimes!#suicide mention
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"Women couldn't resist me in those days, you know. I was a very dangerous man." PAYNE 1.02 "Sexual Intercom"
#I've only had royal payne for a few minutes but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone and then myself etc#loved this scene bc I think JB was genuinely making the other actors laugh way harder than they were supposed to#john larroquette#payne#*#ik everyone hated this show including john who thinks of it as a horrible embarrassing failure#but of the one episode I watched I thought it was fine 😭#not gonna cure cancer or win emmys or anything but john playing an asshole in a sitcom is kinda infallible!#it was dumb. it made me laugh. larroquette fucked. what else do y'all want omg
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Dude discovering myself as dragonkin bought me unrivaled joy. Yes, there is species dysphoria and stuff like that but i still dont feel unhappy or miserable
The fact that im a dragon! A fucking dragon! Makes me go !!!!!!
I gained a new and grand understanding of myself, i feel myself, i never felt secure with myself like this before. Its feels so right, how did i live without knowing such things?
Sure. Its sad that i dont have actual wings or horns nor can i shape-shifting or spit fire but i still feel so happy. The fact that from now on i will live as a dragon is so marvelous itself! Like. Wdym i get to experience the miracle of life as a DRAGON!!!! This is so amazing
#🐉.txt#also discovering myself as dragonkin genuinely improved my mental health and outlook of life#not only that it makes me be more shameless and unapologetic authentic to myself. it makes me kill the cringe inside of it#*me. which in turn makes me feel happy and refreshed#now every time my brain thinks 'oh but this thing is cringe-' i counterattack with 'L + ratio + and we're a fucking dragon!'#this opened infinite possibilities for me!#i just want to express my joy#otherkin#demikin#dragonkin
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i swear if you people start uwuifying OCD like you did with ADHD and autism I'm going to start attacking
#the general idea of what OCD is already so fucking wrong and harmful#if you start being like 'oh my little meow meow is so OCD' or 'its not a disorder its just a different way of thinking uwu'#I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL#ALL OF MY EARLIEST CHILDHOOD MEMORIES FROM AGE 3 AND UP ARE OF HAVING PANIC ATTACKS#PLEASE GO FUCK YOURSELVES THIS IS A MISERABLE FUCKING DISORDER ITS NOT CUTE ITS NOT QUIRKY ITS THE REASON I HAD GRAY HAIR AS A TEENAGER#i saw this like 'i let the intrusive thoughts win' isn't something people use all the time for like dying their fucking hair#its exhausting how many people what to be all 'mental illness needs to be more accepted'#and then in the next sentence want to deny that your mental illness is actually harmful to you and doesn't negatively affect you#and its just because society doesn't accept your different way of thinking uwu#NO I LITERALLY WOULD HAVE KILLED MYSELF AS A TEENAGER IF SOMEONE HAD CONVINCED ME THAT MY MENTAL ILLNESS WAS NORMAL AND FINE#figuring out that something was Wrong with my brain was like the best moment of my life#and this 'no you just think differently don't try to change' attitude may be helpful in SOME CASES#but that shit needs to me pulled back on A LOT online because that framing can be extremely harmful to some people (like me)#knowing exactly what is wrong with my brain is literally the only way I'm able to not let it affect me#and it not affecting me is literally the only way I can function and live happily#like you understand that some people do genuinely have things wrong with them#and telling them they don't is beyond cruel
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I can’t believe they ended the umbrella academy season 4 with I think we’re alone now. They do not deserve I think we’re alone now.
#i think we’re alone now#the umbrella academy#tua season 4#season 4 tua#tua s4#tua#tua spoilers#absolute DOGSHIT#I’m genuinely so mad#I’m also about to cry#because like yeah it was bad writing#yeah I hate what they did with five and Lila#but do you know how absolutely shitty it makes me feel?#to still be in the same DECADE as when I first wanted to kill myself#to still be in the same week as the last time I thought about killing myself#to have had thoughts#suicidal thoughts#to kind of recover from that mindset#like I’m not quite there but im better#and then have a show I love so fucking much#end with the main characters erasing their existence#and then treating that as a good thing?#like yeah tragedy it was inevitable what the fuck ever they’re not playing this as a tragedy#they’re playing it as a foregone conclusion#the correct conclusion the right way for this to end#they framed it like they weren’t supposed to exist and the way to fix that is to stop existing#fuck that#fuck you tua season 4#genuinely fuck you so hard
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