#I genuinely don't know how to feel rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eepybish · 1 year

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It’s all set up and ready, just gotta get some content going for subscribers. So, feel free to give a follow if you fancy but don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll excitedly tell y’all when I’ve got some new content going up on there.

What am I talking about? Oh, just my fansly.

#I'm considering this like a soft launch 'cause I'm not gonna go crazy with promoting it until I've got stuff for the subs #I've got some recording to do #but I do have some pics I'm holding onto for subs #pics that y'all have never seen #anyway exciting new adventure is officially kicking off I guess #I genuinely don't know how to feel rn

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bunnyboy-juice · 2 months

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NO MORE ASSOCIATING THINGS WITH FEMMES ONLY BECAUSE THEY ARE PINK!HYPERFEM FEMMES ARE GREAT AND I LOVE YOU CAMPY FEMMES WHO EMBODY PINK BUT ALSO JESUS CHRIST CAN YOU GUYS NOT GO MORE THAN ONE DAY W/O TRYING TO SHOEHORN FEMMES INTO BEING ONLY PINK UWU BABIES. I AM FEMME AS IN GRASS AS IN DIRT AS IN TREE BARK AS IN WEEDS SPROUTING THROUGH THE SIDEWALK CEMENT. FEMME AS IN GENDER NONCONFORMITY AS IN FUCK YOU MY FEMININITY IS WHAT *I* SAY IT IS. FEMME AS IN DEPTH AND DARKNESS AND WARMTH AND TERROR. FEMME AS IN CAVES. FEMME AS IN LIGHTNING. FEMME AS IN AN AMALGAMATION OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE DECIDED ARE FEMININE REGARDLESS OF WHAT SOCIETY SAYS. FUCK IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND?!???

#personal #i am emotional yes #over the years ive had this blog I've made a few posts abt being femme #nd whether they're serious or jokey..... inevitably someone in the tags goes “ohhh yeah bc pink”#or in the case of what inspired this post: someone going “what about the pink ones” on my praying mantis post #and im just.#sick of it. im sick of femme being equated to pink and frilly girlie behaviors.#im sick of femme being equated to skirts and heels. to makeup. to skincare. to pristine nails exactly almond shaped.#im sick of ppl acting like All femmes aspire to this shit. im sick of femms being reduced to this shit.#and i love pink! i love pink! my phone theme is quite literally just black and pink all over.#im just. so tired of any expression of Femme identity being shoehorned into being a Specific type of femininity #especially as someone who DOES get dysphoric wearing skirts. wearing dresses. embodying the femme aesthetic yall are so set on making #if u guys wanna rb this i truly dont care #i just needed to scream #and this is one small thing #but the 2nd largest category of anon hate i have gotten since making this blog is str8 up homophobia from other “queer” folks #saying i cant be femme bc of how i present. calling me slurs (and using them as such) bc they cant understand femme as anything but that #my wife and i have our users in our personal discord server set as 2 different things of anon hate ive gotten #i have had OTHER FEMMES tell me i am not femme. femmes who Know im femme who still call me butch. femmes who ive corrected and been blocked #-by bc of it. the number 1 largest demographic of queerfolk who have me blocked rn is TME femmes who embody pink also #and i dont think its a coincidence at all. (and i know this bc i go to try and follow these ppl bc they get rbed on my dash & i cant)#and ik their blogs arent deleted bc some of them don't block my wife (tall. white. butch) and it cant be politics cause her and i rb #a lot of the same political shit (fuck. i think she rbs More than i do even. this is genuinely mainly a nsft blog)#and usually i don't say anything but im having a bad day so i get to be angry about this and if anyone fucking tries me i will block u #idc if we've been mutuals 4ever. im judt so tired of feeling like i am not Enough as a femme bc i dont embody this shit #im sick of this lameass lip service to he/him gnc femmes etc when the thin white 50s housewife femme is still what is preferred and loved #im sick of this lamesss lip service when y'all feel entitled to theorizing on other femmes genders bc u cant conceptualize a femme who does #wanna be hypetfeminine. im sick of it. im sick of it. im sick of it.#celebrity bun

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uncanny-tranny · 1 year

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Every time you think, "Oh, I don't have [x condition], I'm basically cured!" that is the devil talking. You aren't cured, you are likely going through periods of your symptoms waning. Don't cease whatever you're doing to help yourself, like medication, for instance, because it's likely you still have the conditions or symptoms, even if you aren't noticing them as frequently or severely.

#disability #this is a callout post about myself #i genuinely thought my GAD was cured because my symtoms had lessened significantly since i've transitioned #turns out my anxiety is just as killer and awful - it's just muted slightly #i am currently laying down with my brain convinced that i'm About To Have a Heart Attack #(and not in the fun demi lovato kind of way)#(that song is a little over a decade old... what the bingle)#anyway please don't do what i do whenever i experience ANY level of symptoms getting better because it will shock you...#...when those symptoms come back and remind you that you Do Indeed have [x condition]#i now know how a wolf girl feels when they say they are Actually Feral because that's how i feel rn 💀#even I'M not immune to the idea that the things i suffer from are things that can Disappear Magically 😭#it's wishful thinking and almost like... imposter syndrome because you're *so* desperate to prove to yourself you're Fine or A Faker #and you become hyperfixated on picking every tiny little waxing and waning of symptoms like you're a fortune teller #and honestly it's really stiffling and it's a lot of work to kill the cop in your head that says you are secretly Not All That Affected...#...that you're either exaggerating to the Extreme or you're just a bored faker who's trying to Get Attention (bad somehow)

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bitchthefuck1 · 3 months

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you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

#like so much of their dynamic (esp but not exclusively in S3) has been about showing the ways that carmy's trauma and dysfunctional #attitude in the kitchen impacts other people and how even though he cares about syd and wants their partnership to work he keeps self #sabotaging and setting himself and by extension her and the restaurant up to fail and replicating the same toxic environments that #he grew up and trained in and this is very much consistent with his character and a natural continuation of the conflicts they've been #having since S1 but because him being shitty with her runs contrary to them getting together suddenly its 'ruining the story' and #out of character and only happening bc the writers just hate to see this ship winning and like. if you really think that i genuinely don't #know what show you've been watching bc it sure as shit wasn't this one. like it hurts to see him do this because you know #they could do something genuinely great together and that he's ruining a really good thing but this is also the reality of where he is rn #if he was just a good and supporting business partner and not deeply dysfunctional it would be wildly out of character #the problem w S3 wasn't that it 'ruined' their relationship it's that it had no clear focus overemphasized carmy's arc at the expense #of the other leads deprioritized the supporting cast while failing to give them their own arcs gave more screen time to #unecessary and uninteresting new 'comic relief' characters and let conflicts stagnate without resolving them or #letting them evolve over the course of the season.#this isn't exclusive to the bear this is a general trend ive noticed where as soon as the 'shipper' part of people's brains get activated #it's like they lose the ability to read the story any other way and it stops being about what's good for the narrative and starts being #about whether or not these two people kiss and anything that gets in the way of that is bad and anything that brings it closer is good #and it's usually whatever but it's really frustrating when the story ppl are doing that to is this good #it also makes people fundamentally incapable of treating any 'obstacle' to that romance in a way that isn't wildly meanspirited and #gross (esp bc those characters are usually women) which is exhausting. like no claire isn't evil or a 'pick me' or 'bad' for carmy #or a useless addition to the story or whatever other nonsense you guys have decided must be true to feel okay. she's a perfectly normal #character and their relationship is exploring some of the ways that carmy's inability to deal with or actually address his trauma #impacts the various relationships in his life. she doesn't even have to be a monster or a narrative mistake for him and syd to be #'destined' for each other or whatever. this isn't a middle school wattpad fic.#im definitely gonna get killed in the street for this but ive been looking for a good reason to spend less time on here so might as well #the bear #sydcarmy #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

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royalarchivist · 8 months

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If there's one request I can make of you guys, it's that you please please please let me know if I upload something and it doesn't look right (ex: the audio is desynced, the visuals are glitchy, etc.)!!! It's embarrassing!!!!

#mod talk #Thank you #I was going through my tag and saw a 2 week old video tumblr absolutely munched up to hell and back #idk how I didn't notice that when it got posted #the audio is bugged the video is awful AND it's desynched which is a crime #but the biggest crime is NOBODY told me!!!!!#I feel betrayed. Abandoned. I'm leaving to live in a small cottage on the seaside and never coming back #Anyways Tumblr's been messing up a lot of my videos lately. I contacted them about it but they weren't much help #so relying on you guys. you know I'm a good editor. please don't let me post garbage like that and assume it's what I intended #genuinely scandalized. I'm deleting the post rn and will repost it in the morning

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moe-broey · 2 months

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HELP maybe this is influenced by how I'm writing this, or maybe it was supposed to be gleaned from canon and I just. Haven't fully thought about it til now. Haven't Deeply analyzed it beyond the blaring alarm bells that go off when reading this. But. Alfonse's,

Straight into.

This isn't him doubling down. This is him BACKTRACKING. This is him going, "oh fuck I think maybe I came on a little too strong maybe I was a bit too vulnerable and that's really scary. How do I fix this" and he's running through all the dialogue options in his head like Okay. Play it Cool. Keep it Casual. Proclaim your undying loyalty and devotion to your Trusted Partner (person he just told in the beginning of this conversation that he didn't intend to become friends with) by making yourself a blade and shield for them. NAILED IT 👍

#fire emblem #feh #ALFONSE. PLEASE. COME ON MAN #HUUUUUGE FUCKING EPIPHANY FOR ME THOUGH as i'm writing/drawing bc that last line i've been struggling w the most #but this. add some moe lore. I HAVE HUGE IDEAS ABOUT THE MOE LORE IN TANDEM W THE CANON IMPLICATIONS.#in short/minimal spoilers if i forget to expand on it later BUT IT'S SO HUGE TO ME. SO HUGE #but i think alfonse has Noticed. things about moe. similarities to himself. but it either #doesn't know it or refuses to acknowledge it. he isn't sure which yet. so when he says 'i hope you feel the same'#he's reaching out ala pre-skip dimitri fbs. asking moe to Consider This. AND. AND. IN TANDEM.#w the canon implications. that he doesn't think highly of himself and doesn't dare wait for an answer #AND. AND. HELP THERE'S A MOMENT THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY. he just commits a Blunder #that even moe's autistic ass catches him on. it all happens So quickly. in a fucking instant.#WHICH. WHICH. LED TO ME REALIZING THIS. he is trying TO CATCH HIMSELF HERE.#AND THE. ADDITION. of moe lore/the blunder why he tries to move on So quickly. please do NOT ask me questions i WILL throw up.#ALSO LIKE book 3 alfonse fresh in my mind. i did take a break after The Incident (gustav).#but like. goes so insane actually. this is really all he knows how to be. constantly in service to others. made to be a tool.#it's so fucked up bc you can see he is genuinely wired like that too. he WANTS to help. he wants to do good #but man................... i def don't have the words for it rn it's just so tragic. but i think about it All The Fucking Time.#GOD SORRY I'M HAVING ANOTHER ALEAR FB MOMENT. ALFONSE. ALFONSE.#cut off that tangent just to make a whole other post about it.#fe alfonse #moe tag #TAGGING IT. bc i rambled about it in the tags and it's MY OC I MAKE THE RULES 😤😤😤😤😤

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swinging-stars-from-satellites · 1 year

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why is everything (showing other people respect. being patient and kind. not flying off the handle about stupid things. emotional regulation and self-control. et cetera.) so easy when I'm not around my parents and so so so so hard when I AM around them?

#this is a genuine question btw I need advice bc I'm STRUGGLING. idk why everything makes me frustrated and angry #when I'm around my parents and it's SO hard to be kind and respectful to them and my sister #but so easy literally everywhere else #I hate that I'm like this I wish I could genuinely be a nice person but apparently the person #I REALLY am is the horrible selfish lazy brat I am with my parents.#even though it feels 100% easier otherwise APPARENTLY the real me is the one I revert to at home #but being nice away from home comes so naturally?? so is THAT the real me??? idk what to do I'm so frustrated right now #Lu rambles #can my mutuals please weigh in bc I feel like a terrible horrible emotionally illiterate person rn #bc of a conversation in which I fought with my mom over the fact that I have a hard time respecting my middle school aged sister #bc I don't want her (bold. confident. sometimes a little bit of a brat as well bc humanity) thinking she can walk all over me #the way she acts always makes me feel like she thinks she's better than me but maybe it's just my mindset. bc I KNOW #that my middle schooler sister IS better than me in most ways and I HATE that. how can someone #so much younger than me be better than me at basically everything she sets her mind to?#and how can I ever have confidence in myself when I know that's the case??? it's so frustrating!!#ugghdnfnsngsmkgnskfnskd I need advice and prayers. and probably to go to bed early tonight.

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fluffle-writes · 4 months

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I wanna. Pick them up in my mouth and shake 'em around like a dog obliterating a squeaky toy

#you can tag anyone you feel this way about but I was thinking about Rook hunt in particular #tbh I feel like he'd picture the same - just with Vil and Neige #he wanta his oshis to be besties (he is just lime me fr) (just a liiiittle furyher frim reality)#(I view neigexVil as nore of a crackship until we get more Neige development/lore)#(our queen Vil doesn't deserve to be genuinely shipped with someone who's kinda 2D rn.#But I respect people who flesh out neige with headcanons - they write the dynamics realy well tbh)#(hopefully we get more RSA development at some point I think that'd be cool)#(plus I'd cry if TWST just. stopped. after the last NRC OB)#(I mean it'd make sense aince that's where the story is based and it'll probably end once Yuu finds a way home #- which feels close now thanks to Ortho)#(But at the same time I. have been following this since it first came out when I was about 16 - same age as the first year squad lol)#(and I feel like it'd feel weird if we stopped getting main story updates)#(Im rambling a LOT lol - probably because I'm tipsy haha)#(hope someone can relate to my lamenting of future woes though)#(Oh well - I should atop borrowing sorrow from the future and live joyfully with the now)#(I do miss my friends who've stopped being in the fandom though - and my friends who deactivated and idk how to contact now)#(sugarandmelody... zacrazyvalentine... I miss them. but we had fun #writing and stuff. and I suppose that's what matters in the end. that we had fun.)#at least - I hope they had fun too. and I kinda hope they think about me how I think of them sometimes.#have a nice day if you're reading this. I rambled in the tags a while and I understand that it's kinda long lol.#and probably riddled with typos #I'm tearing up for some reason haha. well it is what it is #I hope each and every one of my followers know how amazing they are - I hope y'all have a wonderful day - evening - or night #I wish I could hug people across the internet lol #I should stop posting on tumblr while drinky haha #tw drunk #tw drinking #i'll tag it just in case #don't wanna cause discomfort and stuff

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dont-offend-the-bees · 6 months

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Wooooops I let my brain atrophy again

#I started the day without a plan and the folks have been out all day #so instead of doing anything productive/creative I just rotted #I did some stretching at least #but it really doesn't feel good atm #genuinely my muscles haven't bounced back from that weird virus I had in Feb #and I probs need to work em out a bit more to start building the strength/flexibility again but it's hard and unpleasant and i don't like it #baby steps i guess #anyway horror of horrors folks are staying out even longer #so i have to feed myself without supervision #and who knows how long I'm gonna put that off #I don't feel very hungry rn but I should orepare food before I start feeling the hunger #but if I can't feel the hunger I cba with food #fuck my stupid baka life #think today's a bit of a write off #mr. bees speaks

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theinfinitedivides · 8 months

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can't believe we're doing this for the second time in less than six months but. you see any Key content being reblogged during the next few weeks (whether recent creations or over the past comebacks) that's the queue talking. someone needs to take that man back to church and pray for him what is he doing

#shinee #kibum #key #kim kibum #first the Minho colorism debacle now whatever the f*ck you want to call this sh*t over the past week or so #this is what. strike two out of three for me?????? for personal reasons the McDonalds ambassador drama + the KeyLand #Lucas shoutout are being grouped together for me to keep track but what is he doing. what's happening. i don't do legal speak so #i don't know how easy it is to get out of huge contracts like that especially if they were renewed months in advance but i do agree #the all in promo is not. it's not giving it feels super icky. in these times it's not a good look that's all i'll say about that.#but Lucas?????? tf?????? who let him out of the cellar after the sh*t that went down for him to even be there the public needs to know #if this is Key's quarter-life crisis era can he keep that offline pls. can he not embarrass himself by speaking on sh*t he does not #need to speak on. can he keep quiet and go back to vibing with Kany is that too much to ask #i'm not going to speak on his relationship with Kany either bc i'm not qualified to speculate + they look like they really do get along #genuinely well and as a shawol of color i'm generally happy for her. that being said tho #Jinki come back ily you need to be healthy yet pls note we're entering the danger zone rn

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justworthlessreblogs · 8 months

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i'm going insane about ciel kirahoshi again